Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Bats & Birds Eat Differently. So very different. They also cook duffrrently, if at all.

• Bruce

He can not cook for shit.

Keep this man OUT of a kitchen, AWAY from any and all fire/cooking appliances.

Mf can't even make scrambled eggs.

When Alfred is mad at Bruce, Bruce has to get takeout bc Alfred is 'turning in early'. Usually 'due to an upset stomach, sir'. 

Can reliably chop things tho. 

The one you want to mince onions bc he doesnt cry and makes nice lil cubes.

He never learned to cook for shit over his world travels bc he was too busy getting the stuffing beat out of him. His teachers thought he looked pathetic and very poor little meow meow-esque, Ra's and Talia in particular, and couldn't stop themselves from feeding him. This is also how he built up most of his poison tolerances.

Tried to make Alfred a father's day cake once. The kitchen needed remodeling. Bruce claimed that was his real fathers day gift, the cake was supposed to be Alfreds mothers day gift. Alfred thanked him lovingly but told him to just make a card next year. Bruce was 16.

His cooking could be a bioweapon. Has given multiple people food poisoning. The only one who can eat it is Impulse. Bruce doesnt know how to feel abt this.

As far as eating goes, the man eats like a goddamn horse when he does eat. Usually has to be coaxed into it when he is deep in a case but Alfred's cherry scones can lurr him out.

Tried a bunch of weird food with Dick at his new son's request bc Dick wanted to explore his palette. That was bullshit. But he can now stomach cheese cookies with hot sauce, shaving cream cookies, and those nasty Jelly Belly challenge jelly beans. A coffee addict, along with Babs, but he will accept tea.

Post-Jason death, he would not eat or drink unless he had to. Lost weight till Tim started making him sit up and forcefully shoved a handful of cotton candy grapes down his throat. After doing a self heimlich, Bruce was blandly and pointedly told that he was being wasteful of his food that Alfred made and Jason would yell at him for that. When Bruce snarled at Tim, Tim, with the most emotionless face a 13 year old can possibly achieve, shoved more grapes in his mouth and demanded he eat, drink some water or tea, and go the fuck to sleep. Bruce slowly got his appetite back. But not before he almost drowned in a cup of tea. 

• Dick

Alright so this one is a bit weird BUT

Dick has this weird psychological block on cooking. He can only make the foods his mom and dad made him. His dad, half-Romani raised w/o much cultural/food connection, would make scrambled eggs, oatmeal, roast corn, sandwiches, and soup. His mom, raised w full Roma culture/food and Romani on both sides and would sit him on her hip while she cooked in their little caravan on the road while the circus travelled around. 

(Sidenote: as a POC i GUARANTEE food is directly connected to your culture. Food is a language of your culture and tradition. Its a special part and it can help u get more in touch w your ethnic roots in a fun tasty way!! I love cooking!! I love basmati rice and knowing my chicken is halal and not eating pork and i love my tamales oaxaqueños and tamales and using fun, tasty spices like cayenne and turmeric!!)

But dick can only specifically make foods his parents made for him. He cant make a meatloaf or lasagna but you better BET he knows exactly how to make his mom's ciorbă de burtă. Dick has never been able to work past it.

During his first days at the manor, Dick refused to tell Alfred what his oarents would cook. That was their food, not Alfred's. He would sneak in chips and eat cereal till Alf found out abt that. Dick never cooked anything between jasons death and tims appearance, never used the stove except to make all the boxes of Jason's favouritebtea he had stored in his cupboards. Dick hates tea. He does enjoy coffee tho but he actually would rather just drink milk. Just plain fuckin milk like a weirdo. 

That being said, the foods he can make are pretty damn tasty. 

Can reliably cut things but will play with the knives. Can juggle knives. Apparently. Alfred and Bruce learned that the hard way when Dick was 9. That was Bruce's first white hair. Occasionally forgetful of when he has something on the stove but thats object permanence for you. But its only happened a handful of times before and Dick usually stands by the stove to watch the food. 

He eats pretty well. He likes his carbs, sue him. He also has a bit of a sweet tooth. Never eats before patrol tho, he WILL fall asleep. He eats during patrol, oddly enough, so he could be mid flip and shoving a donut in his mouth. He still goes home hungry. THEN he will either break out the food he made before patrol and put in a tupperware then put it in the microwave or he will order out bc fuck he forgot to make food and no damn way is he cooking rn. 

• Jason

He didnt know nutrition when he first got taken in by Bruce

Willis would buy bulks in canned soups and boxes of crackers, cheap to buy and easy for a very ill Catherine to eat (so this is like,,,pre-crisis Jason origins but his mom Catherine was actually very very sick and his dad was a hired thug so he could make cash for his family. So here, Catherine was so sick she had chronic pain but no health insurance/access so she turned to drugs to try and ease her pain. Willis is basically the same. Willis genuinely tried for his family but god sometimes love isnt enough to keep you afloat. Precrisis he turned to crime because he didnt have the ability to get a legitimate job and he wanted to try and take care of his son and wife. This is by far a much more compelling storyline imo, that people will turn to crime because they cant do anything else, that poor people arent born criminals but made criminals due to circumstances. Idk if anyone remembers these precrisis Jason origins but i went on a rabbit hole trip on the fanwikis and official DC timeline websites)

ANYWAYS canned soup and crackers are sustainable but they dont exactly have the nutrition a growing kid would need. But alfeed decided to include nutrition lessons in the year he homeschooled jason and kept those going as supplementary lessons even when Jason went to schoop with other people. In an effort to enforce the lessons, he also taught Jason to cook.

Jason likes SPICES. he likes FLAVOUR. Just salt and pepper makes him sad. He doesnt wanna feel sad when he eats, he wants to feel happy. Will improvise on the spices bc he doesnt trust Alfred's British tastebuds no matter how much he loves his funky new grandpa-butler. 

The old Mexican lady who lived next door to Jason when he was little would make Jason her favourite tea in winter. Menta poleo ended up being his favourite tea. 

Alfred made snarky commentary that "at least one young man who hasnt taken to living away from home has taken well to these lessons in being a functional adult."

Jason cooks after patrol bc it calms him down, lowers the adrenaline in his veins. My man eats like a bear. He had a pretty solid appetite pre-death but post-pit Jason can eat. Jason is literally built bigger than a fucking fridge. Canonically heavier than the Batman, despite being 2 inches shorter, by like, 15 pounds. And Bruce is like what, 205-210 pounds or something, and like 6'3. Jason is a big boi and Id be terrified to see him in the street. But Jason can also carry all his siblings on his shoulders without breaking a sweat :)

A bit more carnivourous than his siblings but give that man a fresh loaf of bread and watch that shit disappear. He likes his veggies too. He will eat raw tomatoes, raw onions, raw peppers, raw asparagus, raw artichoke, raw any veggie. There is no possible way he wont eat something UNLESS YOU BOIL THE SHIT OUT OF IT. 

Boiling veggies is a fucking crime.

The first time Jason ate boiled cauliflower he started crying because there is no way he could eat this fucking TRAVESTY but then he'll be wasting food. Alfred has never attempted to boil a veggie again. Steamed veggies fuck tho. 

Jason subscribes to the thought that meat is best cooked slow and on low heat which is the only way you should cook meat, trust me. Who fucking trusts meat you cook in 20 minutes? Bitch you are asking for a parasite. Who cares if the meat takes 4 hours to cook at least you know its fuckimg cooked. Just start cooking early if its that much of a goddamn problem

• Cass

My girl cannot cook at fucking all. Dont trust her with fire for the love of god.

Makes excellent take out decisions. Knows where the best restaurants are and which ones arent violating health codes. 

Will eat anything and genuinely enjoy it.

Her favourite flavour of sweets is lemon anything. Lemon cake, lemon icing, lemon lollipops, lemon sorbet, sherbet lemons, lemon ice pops. She likes the zest (why are lemons considered sour btw? Theyre not?? Theyre like,,,sweet with a lil bit of sour. Tart and tangy, if you will. If yalls lemons are so bitter that they make u pucker up then theyre probably not ripe lmao eating bitter ass unripe lemons)

She can, like Bruce, reliably chop things. She's a master dicer and slicer. But cooking? It's just not in her wheelhouse. 

She doesn't have specific food preferences but she pays extra attention to expiration dates because she never eants to eat spoiled/rotten food ever again.

Eating rotten and raw food before she met Babs meant she had a nest of parasites in her guts so she likes her food well done and with a 100% chance of having no bacteria or anything in it (although her immune system is probably the strongest of all her family's at this point beside Jason due to the freaky Pit shit).

Can give her food as gifts fir any occasion and she will love it. 

Like in canon, Cass regularly breaks into Tim's apartment to use all his hot water and eat all his Rice Krispies. She loves to break into Tim's place for food the most of all her siblings because they can cuddle on the floor in the corner and eat with their hands and neither will give a fuck.

• Tim

So he can cook. He gets aggressive when he cooks alone though. Talks to himself when he cooks and says mean shit about his pasta and he claims it makes it taste better because it gets full of spite to prove him wrong. 

He watched old cooking shows when he was little because it was the only channel that he could find that didn't bore him to tears besides Star Trek/Star Wars reruns and art history documentaries and like, The Monsters Inside Me.

Consequently, Tim is afraid as hell to cook meat like beef and he REFUSES to make pork on his own because he watched a Monsters Inside Me episode about someone who ate pork and almost died from this parasite that was in it. He was like, 5 years old and it was 1 a.m.

He can make fish though, he's not scared of fish.

He had a couple nannies over winter break, thanksgiving break, spring break, and the periods between school ending and him going to a finishing school over summer. Some of his boarding schools would send the kids home for the weekend. 

They wanted him to know how to cook for various reasons. One wanted him to be able to take care of himself. Another never wanted him to burden his poor wife in the future with all the cooking. Someone else told him he could help his parents cook when they came home. Yet another mentioned she had to pass on her grandma's veggie lasagna recipe to someone and she wasn't having kids at all. So cooking shows and curiosity plus a rotating listicle of nannies taught him. There were a few kitchen fires but Tim managed to hide them well enough. 

Alfred also taught Tim to make different types of breads when he showed up.

Tim can cook but cleaning up? Nope! The mixing bowl would get left in the sink till the flies started hovering around the sink. Sometimes the leftovers would rot before Tim finally got around to tossing them out. He would leave shit laying around for weeks. Who was gonna tell him to clean up after he stopped having nannies? Same person who was gonna tell him to eat regularly. Nobody.

Tim gets distracted EASILY. he could be mid bite and if he has a thought that he needs to investigate, he will abandon his food. He would get lonely when he was little and not eat because he felt too sad to bother eating. Food would bore him. Nobody told him to sit down and finish his food when he was younger. His appetite waxes and wanes. You know how cats like to eat with their people? Yeah, like that. 

Tim is good at eating small foods tho. Bunches of grapes, the little cucumber sandwiches Alfred makes and Tim likes (theres this one comic where Dick and Tim are at the Bat Computer and Alfred is like 'oh i brought sandwiches'. And Dick is like 'hope theyre not those cucumber sandwiches' and tim goes 'Hey i like those cuke sandwiches'. They were roast beef sandwiches if u were curious), a tangerine. 

The singular time i remember Tim eating in the RR comics its a fucking salad. Are you okay? Seriously, i didnt see him eat on his Eurotrip from Hell, i didn't see him eat while he was with the LoA, I didn't see him eat while he was in Russia or Paris or anywhere besides once and it was just lettuce and tomatoes. Tim. Tim, there is NOTHING wrong with salads i love salads theyre so good but WHY have i seen you eat ONCE and it was a SALAD??? HE DIDNT EVEN FINISH IT?? Tim, genuinely, are you okay? Like mentally?

Anyways his fridge and pantry looks like a vegan hipster's who is also a college student with anxiety and everyone gives him shit(affectionate, mostly) for it.

He hates coffee. It smells nice but he hated the way it made him feel so jittery while he was fucking his sleep schedule up when he first became robin. Soda is better. He also likes blackberry tea. His mom taught him to make it. Babs trusts Tim to bring him her coffee because he hates the taste. Its also how Tim curates favour with Oracle. 

Grape and cherry are the superior flavours for candy and sodas but only drinks blackberry boba.

Forgets to eat without someone to renind him. Dexter is an excellent reminder because Dex wont eat unless Tim eats and Tim would rather shoot himself than let his cat starve. 

Dex is not starving he is a very healthy active cat but he is not letting his dumbass human starve.

There are some days when the only things Tim can make himself eat are dried cherries or dried dates and tangerines.

• Damian

Does pre-eating work outs 

A fairly good appetite

He is DRIVEN to never be as 'scrawny' as Tim.

Drinks his milk because he wants to be Tall. Luck is on his side tbh, Talia is like 5'7, Bruce is 6'3, and Ra's is 6'5 (thats so fucking scary why would anyone be that tall id run away so fast if i ever met anyone that tall thats fucking terrifying and even 6'3 is too damn much)

He has baby chub<3 he is 10 and has baby chub<3

He isn't allowed in the kitchen yet

He already has enough knives.

He helps wash dishes tho.

Does not care if his food is hot, lukewarm, cold, if its edible, it is edible.

He has to have his tea HOT tho

He likes his chai ~spicy~ like his mom makes it

Doesnt like birthday cake, its too sweet and shit

Damian's mom made him ghrayabeh on his birthday and makes it himself in the morning on his birthday while Alfred and Bruce are still asleep at like 4, just before alfred wakes up and just after Bruce goes to sleep.

After he gets batcow (ill amke a oneshit abt that or mention it somewhere in a fic), he no longer eats meat

Its an adjustment.

Damian spends hours searching for meat alternatives that will get him the protein he wants

Eats tons of lentils, beans, tofu, eggs, nuts, seeds.

Learns about plant based meats and goes feral. Meat!! Made out of plants!! Fuck yeah!!

Also enjoys edamame and yogurt (plain)

Makes hummus in the blender because this american hummus is fucking nasty (hard agree. what the fuck why is it like this)

Does not like peanut butter. There is something wrong about peanut butter and Damian refuses to eat it. 

Chapter Text

First off i need to get this off my goddamn brain.

The Supers

So im HUGE on lore, right? I love making elaborate shit up. Customs, traditions, myths, cultural specifics. That shit feeds me. But alien biology? Physiology? When the extraterrestrial individual is human-passing? THAT SHIT FEEDS ME. I love that Clark's origins are distinctly Jewish. But im here for the weird, freaky, distinctly not-human body shit.

So. Kryptonian teeth.

The facial/skull/skeletal structure for Kryptonians seems to be very close to human. If youve read some if my notes in past fics, you know I hc very tan kryptonians because they have a component in their blood that metabolizes sunlight like a plant does, except instead of being green, they just tan. Its one of my fave hcs. 

I also like the thought that ultraviolet rays in Kryptonians are very much reflected and/or absorbed, particularly in their eyes/hair.

Kryptonians have blue undertones in their hair, no matter the color. It makes Kara's hair seem blonder than blonde, Kon's Jon's and Clark's hair blacker than black, and Christopher Kent's (clark and lois's foster son who was stuck in the phantom zone and is a full kryptonian) an odd shade of brown. They all have these odd violet undertones in tjeir irises that they wear glasses to hide and pray that nobody notices bc hey!! Its totally just the glasses!! 

Kon and Jon are both 78.8/21.2% Kryptonian:Human. Why would extraterrestrial genes, even if they are compatible with human reproductive methods, be spliced evenly at 50/50? Im sure it happens but i like the interest that comes with the extraterrestrial genetics being more overwhelming. Very fun for me.

But. Teeth. Thats the point.

They look human. All the same number of teeth, the same jaw bone build, everything looks human. Clark and Kara have 4 sets of teeth. Their 4th set of teeth are their adult teeth and come in at the physical age of about 20. Kon and Jon only have 3 sets of teeth, the last set coming in at about 19 years of age. They all take very good care of their teeth because none of them know if they can get cavities and theyre all too scared to fuck around and find out. 

The Bats.

• Bruce

Somwhere along his world travels, he just got his teeth replaced with titanium dentures or smthn and never looked back. Alfred didn't know for 2 years and it was the longest, loudest, most incredulous lecture of Bruce's entire life. 

It helps when he's Brucie bc he only needs to polish his teeth a bit and he's good to go.

It also hurts like a moutherfucker when you try to punch Batman in the mouth and you hit fucking metal.

He bit a bitch once as Batman and its become a legend in the criminal underground. 

Has perfect little dentures that are so nice and white but realistic. 

Dick called him 'Fake Teeth McGee' for a year and two months when he found out. Dick was 15 when he found out. 

Jason has always had to resist the urge to ask if he could weld a label to Bruce's front teeth that just reads 'Bitch' in cursive.

Damian and Cass dont know that he has fake teeth while Tim's known even before he knew Bruce was Batman. 

Tim saw that bullshit smile from across a ballroom at age 7 and clocked Bruce's dentures in a minute. He told Janet and she just said 'I always knew he would lose his teeth before his hair' and that still keeps Tim awake at night.  

• Dick

Has genuinely nice teeth. He has the teeth of a performer, nice and square, pretty even, very awesome smile. He's had a couple fillings done when he was younger but he genuinely takes really good care of his teeth.

Dick has his parents' smile. The dimples and the squareness, but the straightness of his teeth come from his Mom, so does the upper left tilt of his mouth when he grins. The first time he got punched in the mouth he started crying because what if he lost his parents' smile? The criminal in question nearly pissed himself because The Bat descended so fast and so furious that he still has nightmares years later. 

Dick tries his best to not get caught in the mouth because no matter how much he loves bruce, no matter how much bruce is his dad, he still wants to remember his parents smiling at him every time he looks in the mirror. 

He's got that million dollar smile, the dimples and all. Once a dentist asked if he could frame a picture of his smile on his desk so he could look at it when some of his other patients came in and he wanted to drown himself in the sink. Dick agreed because the man clearly didnt mean it in a creepy way and he looked actually exhuasted when he mentioned the other patients. The other man clearly had one specific patient in mind. Dick felt for the dentist and let him take the picture. The denstist was crying when Dick left. Dick switched dentists after that bc man you gotta draw the line somewhere. 

• Jason

He was a biter, as in someone wanted to fuck with him? Chomp. He bit Dick several times pre-death (Dick was more of a spitter and could spit in someones eye from a foot away. It was a talent). He had an overbite, he needed cavities to be filled, he had to get braces. Jason died the week after he got his braces off. 

Jason had a bit crooked teeth with a bit of crowding, which the braces mostly fixed. 

The Lazarus Pit fucked his whole body up so now he has a bite force like a pitbull. His teeth are strong and its genuinely scary. You dont want that motherfucker to take a chomp out of you. 

He can take a punch to the mouth like a champ and besides crotchshots, his go-to move as Robin was to slam peoples' mouth with his feet/fists/some random heavy object. 

Only lost his last baby tooth in his zombie fugue and talia had no idea why he was crying but it genuinely scared her enough for it to be the catalyst to shove him in the pit. 

What did yall want from her damian never cried when he yanked his own loose teeth out?? Jason was her emotional one and she wasnt sure how to handle him crying over his last baby tooth (Bruce used to sneak in and swap out the teeth for 20 dollar bills and jason was always awake when bruce would kiss him on the head before he left)

The Lazarus pit regrew that tooth really fast and Jason is 89% sure that its unbreakable. 

• Cass

Her teeth were fucked. Her cuspid teeth were trained and shaped to be legitimate fangs by David Cain the fuckass. He wanted all of her to be a weapon after all. After she escaped, Cass just wandered about and didnt care about her teeth besides the fact that they helped her survive. 

When she met Babs and Babs got to work making her official paperwork, Cass also had to get to the dentists (after getting her hair de-matted and de-loused and cut several inches off and to get her medicated hair treatments for the parasites living in her hair/on her scalp.) Cass had to get several baby teeth removed, multiple fillings, multiple root canals, and some corrective surgery to treat her teeth as well as medication for inflamed gums.

She has a gap between her two front lower row teeth. Her teeth are a bit tilted still and she has a bit of an overbite too even after all the dental work. She loves the gap. Its fun and nice and it makes her look cute when she smiles and Cass has never been allowed to think she is cute. So she keeps it.

Cass is very happy to have imperfect teeth. She can get why all that dental work to take place because she had no clue how much pain she was in until it was gone. But she still likes the slight imperfections of her teeth. She likes the gap. She likes the slight crookedness. Cass doesnt see why she would get any more dental work unless she needed a cavity filled.

Her two front teeth are ever so slightly larger than her other teeth.

Cass doesnt like the dentist. She brushes her teeth to avoid going. She also flosses because she believes the more she flosses, the less she has to go to the dentists. She took down several nurses and two dentists the first time she saw a tooth drill. Babs and Tim sat in with her for every appointment. She'll bite if pressed and it WILL draw blood.

• Tim

He was that one weirdo kid in class who would rip their loose tooth out during class due to sheer boredom and not even bother to inform the teacher. Would just get up for a tissue to clean up the blood. 

Liked to study his teeth after rinsing them off and poke at the roots and look at them under a magnifying glass.

Once cracked open a pulled out tooth just to look at the insides and the boy sitting next to him turned to the side and threw up. Tim was sat alone in the back after that by the teachers. 

He has a gap between his two upper front teeth and a small overbite. His cuspids are somewhat sharp, not exactly fangs but mlre like baby fangies and his molars, instead of flat and square, have odd, jagged edges. 

Has had a couple fillings done. He and his parents used to forget his dentist appointment dates. He was mostly surprised he didnt need a root canal at some point. 

Like Cass, his two front teeth are ever so slightly larger. 

Never thought about getting braces. He doesnt have tooth pain or really overcrowding so he's fine as is. 

• Damian

Round teeth but his cuspids are flat. Fairly straight, has not needed fillings/has not had cavities

He doesnt like how flat his cuspids are

He wants teeth like Bruce, mostly because he is unaware Bruce has fake ass teeth

But Dick is a close second, not that he would ever dare say that

He wishes his teeth were more sqaure like Dick's teeth privately

Likes drawing differences between human and animal teeth. 

If he had to pick an animal to have teeth like, he would pick a cat's teeth 

Drinks lots of milk》has strong teeth

Hes actually not that much of a biter.

But that kid will hang tf on if you drive him over the edge.

More likely to punch you in the mouth than you are likely to see him get punched in the mouth

still has baby teeth lol

Thinks the tooth fairy is evil and must be eradicated

Has tooth fairy traps by his bed and hipes nobody knows about them

Akfred and Dick know about them

Chapter Text

Tim has totally stumbled into the Mt. Justice/emlty resort hideouts after a long shitty case and just passed out on the floors

The first time this happened cassie and cissie had just joined the team and Tim had just spent 3 days awake and hes coming off a high from putting in 3 drums of toxic waste sour gel candy, a can of grape zesti, a singular apple slice, and cherry Fundip powder in a blender and chugging it in 30 seconds flat

(I watched my friend make this in the robotics lab in freshman year and it looked like fucking curdled blood and it tasted like something so indescribable. She called it 'white girl wednesday juice' and she was missing from school for three days after that and she never told me what happened besides "saw God")

He crawls under the couch and he falls asleep under it for the next 15 hours

Nobody has seen Robin in 20 hours even tho he promised he would show up and Kon is like "yall there is someone breathing in here and it is an extra person"

Cassie threatens, secret crush or not, to punt him off the side of the mountain if he is pranking them and Cissie is already pulling out her arrows to nail him in the gut if Kon is bullshitting them

Tim eventually crawls out from under the couch, still 3/4ths asleep, he looks like he has blood on his face, and his hair is stuck half to his face

He looks like shit basically and also like he drank someones blood

Bart finds him first and it is still in his Top 10 scariest encounters to date

Kon immediately is like "Alr whyd you kill them and where did you hide the body"

Tim doesnt answer bc hes headed right for the library, cracks open a book, puts it on a table, and passes out on top of a shelf for the next 12 hours. The book is irrelevant but that doesnt stop the team from trying to solve a puzzle made out of building blocks

He doesnt remember any of this and its not the weirdest thing

Tim brings pizza one day and bart pops open the box and starts eating but Cassie, Cissie, and Kon literally start gagging because why the FUCK is there onions, artichoke hearts, and canadian bacon on the same pizza

Tim shows up with a vial of something, stabs it in his arm and tells bart to electrocute him

Bart does it and asks why

Tim says that this was a new medical drug a company hez been investigating had been testing and it keeps killing ppl but they recover fully if they get shocked back to life and tim wanted to see what would happen if he got shocked before the symptoms started up

Tim asks Bart if he can have a blood sample bc he wants to dissect his rna/dna coding and bart's actually chill about it bc hes pretty curious himself

Is always very nice to the girls but he and kon got into an argument about pop tarts and Tim set Kon on fire (after they kearn kon is fire proof ofc)

Keeps jumping off the roof/trees/nearby high structures because he craves the adrenaline rush

Keeps balancing his bo staff vertically and balancing on his toes on on end

Only sleeps under the couch/cots or on shelves

Pierced his ears in the middle of a debriefing while they were discussing the Young Justice reality tv show that happened that one time

Asked anita what snakes lived near her grandmothers house and if they were venomous turns out he wanted a particular snake's venom that lived in that specific regional area and everyone refuses to ask why he wanted it

Once gave his gloves to cissie bc her hands were cracking in the cold on a mission and even tho he just pulled his hands out bart got shocked bc they were so fucking cold

WHY IS HE ALWAYS COLD?

Greta found hin asleep in a cupboard with glitter in his hair once

Came over with his nails painted sparkly yellow and black and casually dropped that his "sister painted them" and oh god robin has a sister?

Every picture of him in the mask and cape comes out looking shadowy with only his mask lenses visible

After doing the i.d. reveal and secretly letting all his friends know his actual name instead if the alvin draper thing bc you know what B pissed him off and his friends need to knkw bruce wayne runs around in a high tech fur suit, he shows up in the weirdest collection of civvie clothes including: Kon's t-shirts, the rattiest fucking jeans ever, two different converse, the largest tshirt possible, Cass's yoga pants and Dick's college sweater, bart's overalls, cissie's crop top and cassie's sweats, anita's headband, cass's snuggie

He shows up with a knife in his leg wearing civvies, takes off his belt to make a tourniquet bc wuh-oh that might be an artery, and stitches up his leg in the middle of the sitting room and forgets to clean up the blood

When asked he said "bad day at school"

Brough a bb gun, shot Kon in the back, and left

Brought a frog in his pocket

Never fucking eats

Passes out when he stands up bc he hasnt eaten in 4 days and hasnt had water since the other day

Dislocated both arms in the most casual way possible when some villain grabbed him and held him up for leverage over the team and slipped out before popping them back in and continuing the fight

always has hair ties for bart

Piggybacks bart around in the middle of the night bc tim gets "bees under his skin" and needs human contact

Falls asleep across kon' shoulders like a scarf

Has the strawberry bonbon candies for cassie, anita, and cissie if shes visiting

Hotwired a car and stole it because someone told greta after she turned human again they hoped she got hit by a bus and crashed said car on purpose

Refuses to use any chapstick besides cherry

Carries ten bucks for everyone in case they wanna get a snack really quick

Ripped the hair off his arm once bc he "was bored" it was understimulation

He and bart keep doing science experiments on each other

Requests kon or cassie to throw him into the sky/drop him from the sky bc he needs the adrenaline rush

Asks Greta what her favorite color is everytime he sees her

Offered to falsify bank records so cissie could get a house with no way to trace it back to her in case she wa ted to move away from her mom even after her and her mom decided to attend family therapy

Ripped out his last baby tooth in the middle of a mission and kon threw up because hE HEARD IT

When the anitas parents are babies again fiasco happened he anonynously sends her diapers every month

Has been draining an off shore lex luthor acc to buy all his friends shit and to let kon buy crap for himself

All in all, Tim is just a very strange individual and the YJ kids have become fully accustomed to it. Besides, theyre pretty weird themselves.

Chapter Text

• Bart

Feed him ANYTHING give my boy a treat<3

Likes hard candies the most bc they keep for longer than a couple seconds

Just dont let him run with candy in his mouth

He is a Pecan Pie Boy no i wont elaborate

Bart would sell his hands for a good pecan pie

Likes Max's the most but wont ever tell him that

Doesnt like whipped cream on his pecan pie but will empty the whipped cream can directly into his mouth

He likes eclectic ice cream flavours mostly bc he can run around the world in half a second and just figure out what he likes

He isnt too much of a fan of cinnamon-spicey candies but he wont say no to them

Favourite flavour of hard candies is strawberry hard candies 

Likes those candies with the filling in the middle

As far as chocolate goes, he will eat any sort of chocolate

White chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, vegan chocolate, strawberry chocolate, chocolate bars with filling, peanut butter chocolate if it is chocolate he eill eat it

Loves crunchy cookies he likes the cronch

Cassie once told him crunchy cookies are dusty and Bart bit her

Will slurp up twizzlers like spaghetti

Twizzlers>>>>red vines

Red vines are shit and bart would rather use them as electrical wires

Pull n peel twizzlers are the best, likes the watermelon ones the most

Unfortunately a tootsie pop enjoyer thinks the blue ones are the best 

All his friends keep a lil snackie/snack money on them for their Bart<33

• Cassie

Ice cream ice cream ice cream 

She will take ice cream over cupcakes, cake, or donuts, Cassie is an ice cream/ice pop girlie

Loves strawberry anything

Strawberry ice pops, strawberry ice cream, strawberry candy, strawberries 

She was totally a strawberry shortcake cartoon girlie<3 (not the newer one that one doesnt spark joy :/ )

Milk chocolate enthusiast

Feels meh about white chocolate, is ok with dark chocolate but likes it when its covering sweeter things like bananas, will enjoy pb chocolate in moderation but give her a bag of milk chocolate Kisses anyday

Pumpkin pie is the superior 'P' pie Bart not pecan pie

Enjoys whipped cream with her pumpkin pie

Used to only like lemon ice pops bc Wonder Woman-yellow but genuinely enjoys lemon flavour at this point

Likes those lemonheads candy

Once broke a baby tooth on an almond chocolate bar and she hasnt eaten chocolate bars with nuts in them since then 

Twizzlers>red vines likes the orange cream flavour for no explicable reason

Hates black licorice with a firey passion

Thinks candied orange peels are lowkey really good

Cinnamon-spicy candies (derogatory)

Cinnamon (positive)

Her mom has an ice cream maker from her childhood that she gave to cassie when cassie was 6 and Cassie makes her and her mom strawberry ice cream<33

Tried to make a strawberry shortcake one (1) time and NEVER AGAIN

Idk i just think shes a strawberry girl

Her cookies must be soft and gooey and she will not stand for this crunchy cookie nonsense

A dum dums supremacist, likes the pink bubblegum flavour most

Ice cream cake is better than regular cake

Tim keeps those strawberry bonbon candies that only grandmas seem to be able to find in his pocket for the girls on the team or Bart so Cassie always gets to have one when she sees him

Likes those gas station snack danishes from 7-11/Am-Pm dont judge her

• Kon

He hates coconut but pineapple kinda fucks

He doesnt like cupcakes thinks if ur gonna have cake just get a fucking cake and dont be ashamed about it

So what if the supermarket employee is judging u for getting a whole cake ur gonna have cake and that matters more than judgement

That being said he is a Pie Guy

The first pie Ma made him was just dutch apple pie and he cried real actual tears

Cherry pie, key lime pie, apple, blueberry, huckleberry, fucking rhubarb, give this boy a pie 

Tim brought alfreds lemon meringue pie once during their YJ days and Kon almost stole the whole thing for hinself but was talked down by barts magnanimous puppy dog eyes

Good old fashioned milk chocolate type of boy

Will eat dark chocolate but foh with white chocolate why does it taste like that

Thinks twinkies are an evil creation they are disgusting who would fucking eat that (Tim)

You gotta put vanilla ice cream on his apple pie give him ice cream on his pie<3

The first chocolate bar he ever had was a Coffee Crunch Lonohana chocolate bar

He had just done his first big save as the Hero of Hawai'i and a nice life guard bought it for him Its a core memory for Kon

Tootsie pop enjoyer likes the raspberry ones

Soft cookies are amazing but will have crunchy cookies. Cookies are cookies 

Cinnamon (neutral)

Also a twizzlers>red vines supremacist. The core 4 are twizzlers kids

Likes salt water taffy

Fave ice cream flavour is cookie dough idk why

Only eats marshmallows if they are toasted

Likes homemade food bc it means he has a home<33

He picked up the habit of always having gum on him from Pa its always the hubba bubba pink bubblegum 

He can make donuts at home Ma taught him and theyre the best thing he can make

• Tim

That one mf who WILL eat store bought pie filling with a spoon and its like the only thing he's eaten in 2 days. 

Likes cherry sweets 

Cherry pie, cherry ice pops, cherry ring pops, cherry twizzlers but between cherry and grape, if there is grape, he is getting grape

Dum dums enjoyer, likes the grape dum dums

Marshmallows, will eat them as is, burnt, charred, toasted, melting, fucking frozen

Wont eat any chocolate besides dark chocolate the more bitter the better

After spleenus yeetus he cant have a lotta dairy bc besides his spleen being gone he is a vigilante and that means he comes in close contact w a lotta nasty shit and he should probably not fuck his digestive system over so he can focus on his immune system not to mention the Clench kinda fucked him up lol

Hates having actual nuts in anything but likes peanut butter with his dark chocolate

His dad bought his mom candied rose petals once and she gave them to Tim he thought it tasted like soap. He would still eat them given the chance.

Doesnt rlly like pecan or pumpkin pie but warm cherry pie with whipped cream <3

Couldnt pick between apple cider or hot chocolate. 

Bites his ice pops

Likes rocky road but takes out the nutsunless theyre covered in chocolate

Cinnamon unless with apples (derogatory)

Hates coconut milk, but oat milk is great

Blackberries!!! With honey!!!!<33

Cookies can be crunchy or crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle but not soft on the outside but crunchy in the middle

Once ate 3 boxes of twinkies in one day and didnt eat anything else for the next few days

Really likes jelly donuts

Dont give him coffee anything unless its a candle he hates the taste but the smell is okay

Keeps coffee and creamer in his fridge for his friends to use<33

Would rather die than eat pineapple

Thinks caramel syrup is better than fudge syrup but would rather eat fudge squares than caramel squares

Chapter Text

I thought it was weird that Bruce just let Cass be unparented after she helped protect Gotham 

She has Babs ofc but Babs is like 25 and that is So Hard so Bruce, while knowing Babs has the major authority over Cass as Batgirl, offers to adopt Cass 

He also got kinda attached to this little shadow girl and hes never had a daughter before and Cass doesnt have a middle name how does she feel about being called Cassandra Martha Wayne??? (I cant decide between that or Cass taking a distinctly Asian name as her middle name bc id KILL to have a non-Americanized name for myself tbh even just a middle name)

Ive put it in my notes before but i decided to leave jack in his coma through the Quake and Contagion parts of the story because HOLY FUCK he didnt notice tim being gone for a /while/

I felt really bad abt that so i left him in the coma -__- also bc he was Super Fucked Up from the poison and he definitely should have taken way longer to recover if he recovered at all

Tbh it was not jacks best era 💀 reading the 1993 robin comics plus the detective comics post lonely place of dying is a trip

BUT anyways, tim thought she was strange but he was pretty quick to just,,,accept her

He hyped her up so much lmao they had this little competition in the comics where they were competing to see how many goons they could take out and cass won and he was like ':D!!! You go Batgirl!!! Ur so cool!!' Hes such a sister kind of brother

Like,,,hes just one of those brothers who SHOULD have a sister idk

Tim is Immediately Down to find out what shes interested in,,kinda like a social experiment?? 

Cass is Very Interested in learning what she likes bc she has no idea!! 

She learns very quick she likes tims driving and going on car rides with him (for ref: Tim has major road rage. He speeds like hes gonna die, he makes the sharpest turns possible, he does action move drives off bridges in pursuit and Cass. Loves. It) she loves the color yellow and Tim brings her the Lemon Skirt and she gets him a button up with the same pattern

Cass thinks but shes more of a Mover. Shes the body and Tim is the mind and he can get her to stop and she can quiet his head down

They both have two little beauty marks but Cass's are under the corner of her left eye and Tim's are under the corner of his right eye

Babs introduces Cass to ballet and Tim immediately latches on bc Cass is so so interested and he is suddenly deeply entrenched in the history behind Mayerling

They watch recordings of official ballets  :)

Tim can dance but hes not as graceful as Cass but!! He can play the piano (i think it might be canon he plays the piano but idk but now he does. Random talents ig) so he plays the piano for cass and she dances to it unless she decides she wants to dance with him its the first time hes ever enjoyed dancing

Tim makes Cass feels seen and Cass makes Tim feels known 

Tim has snacks for her :) he now only buys rice krispies for cass

Cass finds history documentaries for Tim to watch bc i read the lonely place of dying and Tim is??? Really into art/sculptures/figurines/history?? (It just occurred to me the most accurate estimation of tims personality is a stem major with a minor in history this is accurate bc my best friend is a stem major and my older sister is a history major and they also know each other and GUYS THE AURA?? ITS UNCANNY??)

Tim will do ANYTHING cass thinks is interesting. He thinks of it like a science experiment and hes pretty damn curious about anything

Tim talks to Cass about cars and engines as he dismantles an old BatMobile engine and they study the parts like bugs

Cass loves listening to Tim talk to her, likes hearing him teach her things that he loves like star wars, star trek, the best model of sports car, photography, his friends, Wizards and Warlocks, video games, the historical importance of Gargoyles in French Gothic architecture and how and why they were integrated into Gotham's architecture

Tim likes being sneaky, Cass is sneaky, they play shadow tag :)

Tim shows Cass how to feed the bats in the cave and Cass takes sneaky pictures with the polaroid Tim gave her and showed her to use (Tims love language is giving ppl pictures/cameras/showing them how to use cameras/taking pictures of ppl)

Cass trains a lot with Tim, shows him how to be sneakier, quieter

They like turning music up LOUD theyve found they can sit on the ground listening to music with their eyes closed and pressed against each other's sides FOR HOURS

Clothes sharing clothes sharing clothes sharing bc theyre the No Boundaries Gang

Cass likes tims sweats and tim likes her shorts bc Sensory Things are random and weird

Cass will eat tims leftovers so he doesnt feel bad abt not finishing his food

Always race to use the hot water in his apartment before the other

Staring. Contests. They can/have spent HOURS staring at each other, just staring, observing, understanding what they see and what the other might be thinking

Sometimes, they move like each other. Theyll mirror each other or mimic each other and its unnerved bruce and dick before bc Tim and Cass know Shiva and Shiva has passed some body langauge on to them and its just a little strange

I hc them both as about 5'5 1/2 without shoes and pretty lean so they sometimes just meld together when one stands behind the other

Once Tim decided to be Batgirl and Cass pinned her hair up so she looked like Robin and thats escalated to switching between Black Bat and Red Robin (omg??? Those??? Kinda match??? BB and RR??? Cuties)

They decided to learn ASL together bc i thought that plot where Cass gets her body language reading taken by a mind reader in exchange for speaking Not A Vibe so Cass takes the initiative and goes straight for sign language. She doesnt lose her body reading thing but she picks up ASL really fast bc,,,body language,,, hands are part of the body,,,

They both stayed up late one night and tim had juice w him and cass saw the bat cowl and she just started shaking him and signed 'bruce rhymes with juice' and tim and cass just spent the next hour finding words that rhyme with Bruce or Bat

The fact that tim and cass had matching hair in the RR comics makes me think so much why did they look so much alike💀💀💀

At some point dick, bruce, jason, kon, bart, cassie, steph, and helena have mistaken one for the other

Tim pierced Cass's ears and she punched him in the gut bc it lowkey surprised her more than it hurt her

Cass learned to paint nails by practicing on Tim while he was at the Bat Computer working a case and he refocused back on the real world only to find messily painted black nails

They share a playlist

So yall remember that one issue of the 1993 Robin comics with the in-universe version of Barney called Crocky the Crocodile? It was like a show for v young kids and the guy in the mascot crocky was committing crimes wearing the crocky the crocodile suit? And tim was lowkey a little obsessed even tho he says it was just something he watched when he was little? Like, in the end the crocky mascot wearer he saved gave him a signed crocky plush that he was talking to Alfred about and alfred was being v sassy but it totally went over tims head (flashbacks to me, age 14, not going to be diagnosed as autistic for 4 more years, talking about my -still ongoing- hyperfixations on the 2003 strawberry shortcake cartoon and hello kitty cartoon and cinnamoroll to my mom/sisters and them going 'yeah uh huh' bc theyd been hearing about it since i was 3) bc he was busy talking about how he was gonna put the crocky plush in the trophy section of the Cave. Like, it wasnt blatant but it smelled like 'babys first hyperfixation' which. God the MEMORIES. Not me getting sent back to my first hyperfixation💀💀

Well

Tim gets cass to watch crocky with him one time in the morning and she LOVES it and they watch it together and tim lowkey gets really back into it bc yeah its a show for babies but the colors are simple, the voices are funny and silly, its old, its familiar, he diesnt have to think about taking it apart and dissecting it. Its just Is. Cass likes it bc everything is just pleasant. No violence no plot no grey morality. Its just a little kids show that has simple elements and little kids being happy and silliness and dammit Cass deserves that. Its like watching Spongebob but more,,,cutesy (note i have never watched sponge bob in my entire life.) Tim only watches it with Cass. Cass has a sticky paper doodle of Tims face that she puts on a pillow when she watches it alone so shes "watching it with him"

Both make tons of bottle rockets together

Sink 'potions' except its actual chemicals and theyre using the chemistry lab sink in the Cave

Tim cuts the sleeves off his tshirts and cass uses the cut off sleeves as hair ties if her hair is long enough atm

Discovered a ton of secret passages/servants corridors while wandering

There is just so much i can shove in here 

Chapter Text

It starts bc Kon, Cissie, Greta, and Cassie left them alone and Tim was having A Day 

U know the feel of A Day idk how to explain it but Tim was like 'what if i stabbed myself to feel something' and Bart went 👀

Tim has to explain 'i dont wanna like die but also i feel numb'

And bart just Knows so hes like 'alr bet lets do something'

Normally tim has to be the impulse control for kon and bart and kon is also the impulse control for Tim bc he makes tim be part of his impulse control which effectively brings down tims impulses 

Not today

They make a little robot out of a shitty half broken toaster and it does nothing but throw itself off of things so u have to catch it before it breaks into pieces from the impact

Except now theyre hungry from running around and they both have Horrible Ideas

Tim: what if we put a bunch of stuff in a blender and see what it does to us

Bart, already running: say less

They spend like 30 bucks on soda, chips, candy, and fruit and stick it all in a blender

Its fucking smoking when theyre done blending it and they dont give a fuck so they drink straight from the blender

This kicks off a mentally stimulating debate abt the use of red food dye which eventually leads to the conversation about barts metabolism

The others have been gone for about 20 minutes. 

Tim: i want your stem cells

Bart, curious and holding out his arm: harvest me dude

They electrocute barts cells in a tube and the others just walk in on bart and tim sitting on the floor around a small machine and a vial of blood and utterly FASCINATED with whats happening

Its the first of many situations (theyre scientifically sanitary btw)

Bart and Tim try intergrating some of his blood into Tims in a blood bag to see ehat happens and thats ehen they find out that all the speedster shit in barts blood FRIES regular human cells

Tim asks Cassie for some of her blood and is confused when shes like "my brother in christ this WILL get you arrested"

Barts also confused bc ??? They wanna find out??? What happens when ???? Demigod blood mixes w soeedster blood??? Esp since cassie is a daughter of zeus???

Kon is vaguely interested but he also has Needle Trauma but he'll give up a hair strand???

Bart likes these experiments bc 1) mental stimulation 2) he doesnt know jack shit abt his own biology/physiology and nobody can give him a straught forward answer 3) he gets to be part of his OWN science exoeriments instead of an unwilling subject

Tim tries to see what would minorly slow down barts metabolic system so he diesnt have to worry abt going w/o food for too long

They compare the water content of Gotham vs Keystone, Central City, Gateway City, Metropolis, and New York

They like electrocuting each other idk how to explain it but the shock makes them feel emotions again

 Horrible horrible food smoothies to see what it does to them

They put glowsticks in tims costume

They put glowsticks in barts costume

They put glowsticks everywhere

Bart and Tim do frequemcy experiments to see if theres a frequency Bart can hear that Tim can't

Tim wants to do scans on bart to see if he has extra ligaments that tim doesnt have bc Speedster

They vibrate so many things to see if Bart can heat things up with his vibrational frequencies

Tim loses his goddamn mind when bart uses his speed to cook a fucking chicken

I think Tim & Bart should have some fire and electrocution. As a treat. 

Bart discovers he has reinforced ear drums so his ears dont explode when he does a sonic boom (which is pretty much every time Bart runs bart can go MUCH faster than the speed it requires to cause a sonic boom which is so fucking insane to think about)

Sidenote: the 90s YJ team was op as fuck. Greta was basically a death guardian, kon was not only partially kryptonian but he has ttk which is his own unique ability no other super has and can use it to dismantle pretty much anything, hold things up, control peoples bodies to an extent, just as long as he makes contact with them, lobo was an interdimensional bounty hunter who could divide hinself into clones upon death and slobo wasnt a slouch either, Cissie had some weird supernatural sight capabilities and her aim is so good she was hitting the center of a dartboard at age 2, cassie is a demigoddess training under wonder woman, artemis, and troia, bart can make speedster scouts that he can send off to other dimensions to investiagate and he recieves their information and he has Speed Force emoathy whuch means he can tell when other people connected to the speed force are in trouble, anita is a highly capable voudun priestess and i believe shell become a Mambo like her grandma someday, she has part of the antilife equation in her head which allows her to control people, and her athletic abilities are fucking awesome, and tim has his whole deal going on and the only thing preventing them from attempting world domination is the fact that their collective braincells are fucking allergic to each other

String Theory. I wont say more.

They built Bop, the cleaning robot in Tim' nest to turn crumbs/food/filth into composte deposits to donate to the local greenery

They like talking science and experimenting on each other bc they know they dont want to harm the other, they genuinely care for each other and can say no to an experiment if they want to and nobodys feelings get hurt, this comes out of pure curiosity and a want to know things. Tim and Bart enable each others mad scientist sides 

Chapter Text

Bruce likes scrolling through the most wanted lists when he doesnt have active cases

He finds the alert for wanted art theft Alvin Draper as well as a number if other individuals wanted by individual governments

He thinks he just connected a huge art theft ring

He is wrong

Bruce starts sorting through the criminals and gets increasingly agitated as he hits dead ends

Bruce: Why do their trails always end at air ports???

Bruce starts getting into flight records

Alvin Draper disappears somewhere at a middle eastern air port and thats when all the art thefts stop

Damian wanders down to train and sets hinself upon the case too

And gets pissed because WHY ARE THERE ONLY DEADENDS

Dick comes down and decides to help too and gets real foddamn confused and calls uo jason

"Hey Jason did u ever get contacted for illegal art trading between march and may?" 

(Thats the timeline between tim leaving, going on his art theft spree, then getting picked up by the league.)

Jasons hella confused and asks his lackeys and no???

Cass just shows uo and shes squinting bc these people are familiar but also literally just people what the heck??

She calls up Tim and hes there with his soda 15 minutes late and he recognizes his aliases and hes like "Oh. Yeah, dw thats me."

????

He kicks bruce out of the chair and is just like "alvin draper wanted by interpol for art theft? Me. Hillary Garza wanted for grand larceny? Me. Tom Wilson, breaking and entering and home invasion? Also me."

It just goes on and on.

Just extended multiple accounts of breaking & entering, grand larceny, grand theft auto, home invasion, disturbance of the peace, destruction of private&piblic property

All spread out across a bunch of aliases

Tim is a criminal

Jason: "Tim what the fuck were you doing?"

Tim: "Detective work, you hypocrite"

Dick: "You were doing crimes"

Tim: "These are only the official charges calm down"

Bc im pretty sure attempting to clone ur best friends bart and kon count as crimes against humanity

Theres also his secret blowing up of ras bases

Tim just wipes alvin draler out of the database casually and well now hes not there so :shrugs:

Alvin had a fake passport anyways its not like he had to erase dental records

Tim: "My friends dont judge me for my criminal activity"

Damian: "Your friends are highly unstable"

Tim: "my friends are perfect."

Dick: "wasnt cassie in a cult?"

Tim: "my friends are perfect??"

Tims friends support tim rights but also tim wrongs. Whats a little criminal activity? 

Chapter Text

So danny temple

Lemme give yall the background if u dont remember

Danny was a new transfer student who came to brentwood. He had a big ass scar on his side, a bar code tattoo on his foot, and he was the designated leader of the Kobra Cult called the,,,,naja naja??? I believe??? Was the title??? (Yes he was the Naja Naja) He was super athletic, he had a cute mullet-ish hair style that he would put up in a low ponytail and i had a big FAT crush on him

He was nice and cute sue me

His scar was bc he had a conjoined twin he got separated from and the barcode was to mark him as part of the Kobra cult thing 

Tim clocked him in a minute like 'hm :// for some reason i feel like theres something /more/ to him'

This was before Tim had ANY reason to even SUSPECT cult shenanigans he just stared at this dude and they also became friends by vibing

Painfully neurodivergent rizz ftw yet again with our boy Tim 

Dannys just cool in general tbh

Catches tims sad vibes when tim is really distressed abt bruce telling steph tims id but not bruces and was very upset bc he wanted it to be tims choice 

So tim goes on spring break with him solo and tim and danny go down to Cape Ethel Cay

Theyre just chilling!! Theyre vibing!! They have a jet ski race which gets interrupted by danny getting snatched by these two fucking robot things called Servitors and tim almost fucking dies again

So naturally he goes to hike up Kanchenjunga Mountain to rescue danny

Danny is like 'uhhhh WHAT the fuck' while theyre sticking him in some sick ass looking robes ras al ghul could NEVER

Bc this is a cult devoted to chaos or smthn idk theyre called the Kobra Cult and theyre scary as hell and ngl much cooler than the LoA

God WHY does tim get involved in so many cults???

Anyways SIR EDMUND DORRANCE AKA KING SNAKE IS THERE and apparently there is a Lazarus Pit involved

Danny and Tim wreck the whole fuckign base💀💀

Danny also gets a pair of sick ass rocket boots he uses to save his and tims life from fuckign dying in an avalanche

They part ways, friends, and danny figured out tim was robin and bruce is interrogating tim and hes like "does he know ur robin"

And tim is like "the secret is safe as can be"

Tbf its not a TOTAL lie bc danny is now a cult leader in the mountains whats he gonna do?? And danny is cool he wouldnt tell :)

After that, there is no more danny and i simply wont let that stand

So,,,they send each other mail :)

Like "hey whats being a cult keader like are u cold there?"

"Its actually rlly warm inside the mountain tbh are u still a bird?"

Theyre still friends bc itd be really funny if tim is just casually friends w a cult leader

Tim with Ra's: this cult leader does NOT spark joy :/

Tim with Danny: this cult leader DOES  slark joy

Theres a series of murders that resemble the old ritual killings of the Kobra Cult

Bruce suspects that Red Atheris is in kahoots (cahoots??) with the Kobra Cult and tim KNOWS thats not true

So tim is like ' :) no :) that couldnt be'

But👀👀 what if he did make an alliamce w the cult officially??👀👀 

And bruce is forcibly reminded of the time tim decided to make friends with a cult leader his age bc the YJ team's codependwnce and obsession w each other was BAD ENOUGH

Now a WHOLE cult leader tim?? Really?? 

Omg what if i just had danny show up in gotham like "someones pretending to be part of the Kobra cult and committing murders and i dont like that we dont kill anymore :("

The SHENANIGANS that would occur

"Hey tim what if we went to Cape E-Cay again sometime?"

This reads to everybody besides tim as either a 'let me drown you in the lake and chop up your body parts" or 'let me take u to this special place just for us ;)' and nobody likes the first option and doesnt even know if the secknd thing is an option for tim

Tim is just like "hey lol we had a fun adventure here can i bring my emotional support amazonian-speedster-kryptonian trio?"

Tim needs his besties for emotional stability

Danny is a cool guy and hes just like 'sure! They seem like fun :D'

Kon TRIES to feel sus abt this cult leader but his ponytail is SO COOL DUDE ARE THOSE SNAKE TATTOO SLEEVES :O

But danny hangs around to help solve the murders and find out its supposedly a rouge assassin but its actually a league assassin trying to set the JL or at least Batman on their cult-y competition to tear it down

Tim has the ODDEST friends

And I miss Danny Temple he was so fun 

Chapter Text

So. Brentwood. Its a boarding school in Bristol tim went to and holy fuck it was chaotic

Tims 1st roommate was ali ben khadir the religious ruler of a small country

Ali eventually went back home to rule bc this rival ruler summoned a fuckign demon to kill ali and ali had a token from his dad that allowed ali to exchange his life for anothers and ali sent the demon to kill the rival ruler💀💀

Tim skipped school for a week to learn to skateboard to take down a gang if triublemakers outrunning the police on their fucking rollerblades

This was when tim made his 70 mph redboard

Redboard got totalled im so sad :( im gonna bring it back better and faster :)

Tims second roommate was this guy named wesley thomas and tim almost eviscerated this mf a few times before discovering that wes was a functional alcoholic

Like wes had neat ass stuff 24/7, he was always cranky, and he was a nosey mf too oh god i woulda caught a case so fast with this boy

But he hid his vodka (apparently his vice was vodka) in his mouthwash bottles and was hungover 24/7 till tim found out when he borrowed wes's mouthwash

Tim dumped the mouthwash but wes was prob hiding shit in his drawers bc tim came back and the room and guy were both smashed as hell

Tim gets Wes into rehab :)

Tim was also friends w Buzz Cohen and Kip Kettering

Buzz had anger issues but was generally a bro who liked football and girls and Kip liked eccentric literature 

Tim also trained the dean's pet pug Cardigan to not snitch on tim when he snuck out

ALFRED WAS THERE WITH TIM AS TIM's VALET

The manbat family was in danger so tim got a tranq gun full of antifote and the totley hall watcher saw it and she took the gun so tim stole it back.

Tim lied abt sleepwalking so now that the background info has been given lets move on :)

Tim was Totley Hall's cryptid

He enforces the 'sleepwalking' lie by fake sleepwalking around and every one of his friends have 'rescued' tim from falling down the stairs

Tim sometimes steals cardigan and cuddles the dog in his bed

Tim is the maintenence guy that everyone calls when they fuck up and nobody wa ts the adults to know.

"I broke the thermostat"

"Go get Tim"

Tim barters in secrets and favours

"Well, if you /really/ wanna repay me and yknow, have me keep my silence..."

He runs a candy dispensary from under his dorm bed and its his second best kept secret next to Robin

Tim still emails Ali

One time Cass snuck in and they raised chaos by tricking people into thinking they saw her but it was just tims shadow but it was also actually Cass

Kon shows up in his dorm and takes a nap and "hey tim why do you have a guy in ur bed?"

Tim, shutting the door: "Mind your business??"

One of his more consistent favours is 'dont tell anyone i let *my sister, my brother dick, my best friend, my other best friend, my other other best friend* in here

Nobody has a picture of tim not even the yearbook committee

"Hey tim why were you staring at danny shirtless?"

"I want to ask about his giant scar but it might bring up some unnresolved trauma and ive been told thats rude"

"Oh."

Stuck his finger in a light socket because "he wanted to feel something again"

Always knows at least one person when they all go somewhere

Everyone thinks Tim killed Danny when they went to Cape Ethel Cay for spring break

"Why would Tim kill Danny they were friends?"

"Idk but danny asked tim to go to cape ecay alone so maybe danny tried to kill tim first but tim was just faster?"

Danny SENT a letter saying why he was leaving brentwood (or at least lying about why) theyre all just bored teen boys

His pizza order i shall say less

Can play soccer (WHY is it called that that is futbol) just fine but the second a teacher is watching hes the worst player ever

"Hey tim whos clothes are these?"

"Technically my friends' but emotionally mine."

Sleeps in corners

Sleeps on shelves

Sleeps in anyones bed if they let him

Has contraband soda under his bed he also sells

Pictures of EVERYONE

Penpals with Danny and tries to tell everyone danny is okay but nobody believes him

Chapter Text

Tim has Dex for 10 minutes before hes ordering cat stuff on his phone with express delivery

If u arent gonna spoil ur new kitty (or pet in general) and give them the best life ever, whats the point if having all that cash?

Dex has one of those running water bowls that encourages cats to drink bc cats dont like still water theyre more willing to drink running water bc Evolution

Its one of those real fancy ones 

Dexter only ever eats wet food bc tim spent like 5 hours researching wet food vs dry food 

Its expensive but also better for the urinary tracts and tim has the money to feed his cat wet cat food

There are cat trees in the living room, the Nest, Tim's bedroom, the spare room, AND the patio

Floating cat shelves e v e r y w h e r e including the Nest

Spare bathroom has dexter's automatic kitty litter box machine the really fancy ones

Tim is making his patio a catio with a cat mint garden, a chair just for Dex to sit in and nobody else, a cat tree, and a solar lamp for dexter to nap under

Has bells on his big old kitty cat collars

Cat sweaters. I shall say less

Has a good cat bed BUT just sleeps in tims bed 99% of the time. The other 1% is on his shelves/the couch/kon's face

Staring contests with bart that either end because Tim picks up dex at the same time kon picks up bart or bc one of them blinked first and an attack(affectionate/joking) was launched

Sleeps on cassies lasso and doesnt get moved

Wind up mice, superhero themed lasers (his fave his the impulse themed laser), feather wands, yarn balls, scratch posts- you name it, this cat has got it

Forces Tim to eat by refusing to eat by himself and meowing in the loudest most pitiful kitty way even tho this cat is 3 feet long and 20 pounds and looks like a maine coon with a russian blue's coloring- has a 100% success rate

The BIGGEST kitty loaf imaginable

Despite being 20 pounds, Dexter is actually a very healthy cat- he just happens to be enormous

Has a purr like hes got a 3 horsepower motor in him

LORGE paws, this kitty has ALL PINK toe beans/paw pads and a pink nose thanks

Still has his old Dex-Starr collar but its since been replaced with a blue one that has a bell and his vetrinary tags, his name, and tims address on it & yes the tags are house shaped :)

Sits on tims laptop/the computer in The Nest when he decides tim cant work anymore (100% success rate)

Still has beef with bruce

Gets shinies from Themyscira from Cassie :)

Has an instagram and a twitter and tim posts at least every other day of dex doing ANYTHING

"Omg thats a big cat<3" 

Naps in the sink

Once ate jasons sandwich and blatantly laid on top of jasons plate in front of him with a smug kitty paw wash

Goes mlemmlemmlem when he eats<3 

Does the thing when cats do a big yawn and they stick they tongue out<33

*dex does a kitty stretch*

the core 4 in sync, immediately: "oh big stretch"

Has successfully hunted: 3 rats, 5 pigeons, Kons slippers, Cassies socks, Jasons jacket, Bart's hair, and the toilet paper

Has attempted to hunt and almost succeeded: a vulture, a hawk, a doberman, Bruce

Likes cass's cape, sleeps on it cass has relinquished 3 capes to dexter

Zoomies but hes a big boi so he knocks over the coffee table at 3 a.m.

Helps tim keep inventory on meds, bandages, antiseptic, photography chemicals

Tim's 'rubber ducky' aka the sounding board for tims madness will meow disapproval/approval

Dexter is socialised to krypto through kon bringing krypto's toys, blankets, and, unwillingly, the fur that wont come off his clothes 

Krypto is socialised through toys, blankets, and the cat hair that also stays on kons clothes

So when krypto and dex finally meet there is no bloodshed

Instead, krypto lays down and becomes a kitty palanquin which suits dexter just fine :)

An entire shelf in tims pantry is dedicated to cat food and cat treats and a small bunch of catnip

Has a kitty cat harness and leash to go on walks :)

He oversees the Whole Apartment it is his Domain

The Nest is also Dexters Domain

Loudest fucking meow possible 

Constantly purr-meowing esp when Tim gets home from work

Always has a cat-sitter

Vet visits every month/other month bc Tim constantly overthinks if Dex is healthy (its that Neurodivergent anxiety/intrusive thoughts thing abt waking up to find ur cat dead i get it bro)

Tim brought Dexter to his owner's grave to say goodbye

But what if,,,mayhaps,,,dexter and teekl kitty cat chaos days 👀

Tim talks to his cat every day like dexter is another human

Is genuinely loved and cared for and Tim absolutely adores Dexter, Dexter always knows he is a loved and valued pet and Tim already has arrangements for Dexter to be cared for if anything ever happens to Tim so he'll never be lonely again

"Good kitty."

Id die for this cat

Chapter Text

Tim has a lot of projects he works on :)

Theres a lot of fixing he can do and Tim loves to be busy

There's the water filtration plant:

• Tim demolitions ACE Chemicals, aka the chemical plant that birthed the joker (hood and harley quinn are seen on scene 15 minutes before the explosion that destroyed ACE Chemicals)
• Asked Ivy to help rehabilitate the land to clean up any chemical seepage
• The water plant utilizes a combo of water and wind power to produce electricity in order to keep the plant running
• It cleans the chemical waste/filth/sewage from gotham bay and the water from the atlantic (i always get a kick in the teeth when i remember gotham is in New Jersey AND mostly an island) and then desalinates it to produce clean water
• It gets exported out of state in order to pay for it but its sold cheapest in Gotham/free at soup kitchens and food banks
• Provides job opportunity via sanitation jobs, janitorial/custodian work, management, repair, etc
• Its his first major project and hes v proud of it :) bye bye joker symbol :)
• Has some of his people there to keep an eye on things in case the ever growing rolodex (i love that word) of criminals and rogues decude to blow it up

Anon Drug/Alcohol Rehab:

• My mom talked abt a drug rehab center you could attend where you register but its fully anonynous bc the area she grew up in a lot of addicts who did wanna go to rehab wouldnt bc they were afraid going would get their kids taken away from them which made me really sad :(
• So anon drug/alcohol rehab with doctors and therapists and nurses
• Not a stay in facility unless you decide you really need it
• Also how Tim keeps track of any drugs circulating around in case he hears something before Jason does and he can investigate it before bringing it up with Jason
• Has people there to prevent any dealers/smugglers worming their way in

Shelters:

• Buys out old warehouses/derelict buildings and renovates them into shelters for homeless people, runaways, abused people, etc
• This is an attempt at reducing human trafficking because the available population that otherwise typically wont be noticed are no longer available
• Tim buys them out with W.E. money and renovates them
• Provides pamphlets with job opportunities, education scholarships/reduced fees, facilities to borrow interview clothes donated to reduce textile waste reduction 
• A lot of Tims agents volunteered to make sure no traffickers/kidnappers tried to butt in
• Bc i imagine a lot of the ninja/assassins ended up there bc it feels vaguely human trafficky to me for some reason. Idk how to explain it but id only serve a walnut like Ra's if i was desparate for an escape from something like being sold and bought might just be me tho. Maybe these assassins never wanted to be killers but it was the only way out

Replanting:

• Tim buys out old golf courses and clears them out to replant trees
• Because i fucking hate golf courses and they should be taken over for the trees
• I had a brief stint in the middle school version of ecoterrorism when i was 10 so :shrugs: i wasnt caught by the way besides it wasnt anything bad it was just dumb
• But tim buys out the golf courses and redevelops them to be gardens bc pollution fuckings sucks and golf courses suck and trees do not
• Surprise people would rather have a cute park with lots of trees and flowers than a fucking golf course
• As you can tell i have a lot of feelings about this
• I think ra's was some kind of ecoterrorist or whatever idk but some of that carried over so some of tims new agents are really into gardening
• So they get to be park grounds keepers :)

Wildlife rehab:

• Idk why but i hc that Kon REALLY hates seaworld 
• Same
• So he goes on VERY long rants about how he absolutely hates sea world and the fish look happier in the sea in hawaii and no wonder that fish in sea world die so often theyre fucking depressed tim dont people get what it like to be in a tube for people to look at for hours?
• So why not rehabilitate the animals at sea world/zoos to make sure thy can be return to the wild/ reservations safely
• This one gets funded by EVERYONE bc i know so many people who would donate to return aninals to their habitats even just the dollar they have would go to the cause if given the opportunity because do yall know how many rants ive heard about the orca tanks at SW alone
• Hot take but a lot of people love the world we only ever just hear about the bad shit because bc people should know taht there are bad things in the world 
• Its also unfortunately a good chance on a tax deduction 
• Capitalism :/
• Again with the trafficking thing a lot of tims shiny new ex assassins volunteer to watch the animals to make sure none of them get mistreated/stolen

Im having a lot of assassin feels. I dont believe theyre all deliriously devoted to ra's. Theyre cannon fodder to him and he doesnt care to hide that. I just think a lot of them have nothing else bc they were inducted from a young age/a desparate situation and now they have nothing else. So what else can they do but devote themselves to this absolute fucknut? So now Tim comes rolling in and hes nice to them and tries to make sure they dont die like ras wouldnt give a shit about and he really is just as desparate as they were once/still are and he offers them a chance to actually live and be alive and maybe even atone for all the lives theyve taken so...why not? Besides now they get health benefits, including maternity/paternity leave, sick leave, healthcare, and dentist!! Id leave a mf for some good dental too. Besudes, info gathering, taking out corrupt individuals, moling in evil organizations, and disbanding evil cults hellbent on destroying the world is way more fun than some oldy moldy raisin telling you to slaughter someone while he sips wine from his throne

The snake tattoo looks sick as hell too and they get to choose to wear it

They dont have to wear the ninja clothes

What even is the league of assassins aesthetic? Theres the Kobra Cult and their sick as fuck cobra motif, Tim's Red Atheris ouroboros thing which is at least an aesthetic. Like??? Whats the theme ra's? The League of Assassins is rlly,,,,like,,,generic,,,,

Tbh i just like making fun of ras to denote the fact that he as a character lowkey scares me

Chapter Text

Hello Tim,

I had no idea but the Kobra Cult has a mailbox, although the Internet is still tricky. But at least I know your mailing address. The Himalayas are freezing cold, I don't know why a snake-themed cult would choose to live here. Under the mountain in the base is warm, at least, a bit chilly because the remaining members that escaped are still helping me patch up the giant holes we left in the mountain. It should be done before it gets really cold. I have no clue what I'm going to do with my shiny new cult. I don't have a search engine, dude. What do you do with a cult? 

Your friend, 

Danny

Hey Danny,

Are you seriously telling me I have the Kobra Cult's mailing address right now? I mean, it really sucks that the Internet over there is all sucky. I'm glad I can still mail you, at least, no matter how absurd it honestly is. Why did they pick a mailing address? Who decided that? I could send over some electric heating blankets if you need them, since I guess I have your shiny new cult's mailing address. Wait, do you have electricity there? I'm assuming you do? You should? Some of the tech clearly required electricity? I would go myself but my butt is still busted for disappearing with you over spring break. I'm out of Brentwood by the semester end so it really doesn't matter too much to me but B is pissed. I don't care because I'm still pissed at him. I can do research for you? And find out what cults can do?  Because I don't know either. I'm assuming that the Kobras are in the Himalayas because Ra's Al Ghul has taken over the majority of the territory in the hotter regions but he's really old so the skin makes him wither. Do you know who Ra's is?

Your friend, 

Tim

Tim,

I honestly have no clue why the Kobra have a mailing address. I think Lady Eve used to buy some weird fancy eyeliner and have it delivered. I know this because I keep finding her eyeliner stick thingies every where. I don't like her, she creeped me out and she tried to un-alive me so I'm keeping the ones still in their packets. I'm going to use them and look better than her. And I'll do it without ever creeping her out, if she's still alive. She got crushed under a pillar but she was also gone when I got back up the mountain so who knows? I think the Kobra Internet set up is all jacked up from the mountain getting a little blown up but apparently? There is an IT guy? He'll take a month to get out here but it'll be fixed. Eventully. I mean...I wouldn't say no to the blankets. It is SO cold, holy shit. Although I'd like to see you again. You probably won't almost get killed the next time you visit. Oooh, sorry if I got you in trouble, I hope it wasn't too bad. You can tell me why you're mad at B, if you need. I'm gonna guess it has something to do with your girlfriend? But yes, research please, I will name one of the king cobras here after you if you research for me please? Also, no clue who Ra's Al Ghul is but? How old can this guy be? And can he please share his sunny territory? Old people always take all the shit. 

-Danny :)

Danny,

Lady Eve stuck her tongue in my ear and licked me so I'm all for being better than her in any way, shape or form. I still feel the urge to wash my ear out. It's been a week, also everyone at school thinks I killed you? For some reason? Buzz said he thought you took me to Cape E-Cay to kill me but I was just faster? Kip thinks I drowned you. I'm lretty sure Buzz bet 20 bucks that I suffocated you in your sleep. I can't tell if they're screwing with me or not. I'm mostly ignoring it. I swear though, if I actually get the police set on me, I am gonna become a murderer. On anpther note, I'm no longer killing my new roommate. He's kinda an alcoholic and I'm gonna see if he'll go into rehab. What IT guy would agree to go up to Mt. Kachenjunga? What could they be paying him? What could YOU be paying him? It's your money now. Do cults even have money? Do you have to pay a membership fee? I talked about B to my other friends, don't worry. Speaking of, have you ever heard of Young Justice? They'd like you, I think. Maybe someday I'll bring them to meet you. Or maybe you can leave your new mountain base to see me in Gotham ans they'll invade if I ask them to. Attached is a packet of research I put together for you. I know you like reading, I remember your bookstack. Have fun with it, Danny and your blankets. 

-Tim :)

Tim,

There is no way this guy is around 700 years old. Your info dive has to be wrong be ause this dude should be dust. All because of the Lazarus Pit? The one that got buried in the explosion in the Kobra base? That Dorrance man healed his eyes with it- not that it mattered considering his eyeballs got eaten out of skull by snake venom a couple minutes later. Which learning about snake venom, unfortunately, is also part of my fancy new leader education. I can't escape school even in the depths of the damn Himalayas. My tutors are weird, they keep putting snake eggs in my hands while teaching. Where are they even hiding them? They're everywhere. Maybe I can turn the Kobra Cult into a cult for animal conservation. Would that work? I'm not super into the whole murder thing, you know? The snakes are kinda growing on me though. Are you telling me your friends are the absolutely insane teen heroes that blew up Mt. Rushmore? Did you help blow up Mt. Rushmore? Are you, like, actually a criminal? Because I'm pretty sure that's criminal behavior, Tim. But don't worry, you're probably not a murderer. I'll send the rest of the guys a letter so they know you didn't kill me. I'd like to meet your probably insane friends someday. Maybe I'll show up in Gotham as the new Kobra Cult leader. I hope I don't get my ass bat-kicked for that. Thanks for the blankets.

-Danny :)

Danny,

Yeah, he's old-old. Released a plague on Gotham once, having that sucked. He's not even a random nuisance for me, though, mostly just bugs B. My info dive took 5 hours :( Don't doubt me. I wonder if King Snake died. I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that him dying would make me feel relieved. I don't like being reminded that I have all these terrible human feelings. It scares me. I never considered learning about snake venom. I think a friend of mine, Anita, has snakes near her grandma's house. I think I might study it now that I'm thinking about it. It could be fun. Do snake eggs feel like turtle eggs? I've heard that they resemble each other with the way they feel. Like a mix between paper and leather. Okay, yeah I did help blow up Mt. Rushmore but there were scientists experimenting on my friend Suzie in there so I think my crimes were justified. Besides, my friends are perfect and literally the coolest people ever. They're awesome. Are you really making the Kobra neutral? Are you gonna be able to handle the backlash? If you need help, screw B, I'll come help you, just say the word, Danny but I think you can do it. Maybe you can be a mass group of information gathering and trading or something. I have no clue what I'd do if I had a bunch of assassins working for me. The guys got the letter but I'm very certain they're screwing with me because they keep saying they don't believe I didn't kill you. And if you ever show up in Gotham, I'll help you hide, don't worry about the Bat. Keep warm there, Danny.

-Tim :)

Tim,

It's really been a whole year since we met, huh? That's crazy, I've never been able to keep a friend this long. Too many changing schools and getting hunted by ninja and running away to ever keep one. The Kobra have grown larger, and have received some defected assassins from the League of Assassins. I hope I can keep slipping under Al Ghul's radar. The splinter group that broke off from the Kobra still worries me. I'm not sure what having a rogue group will do to the stability of the Kobra. The ones that stayed, they seem more at peace, at least. I'm thinking of getting a college degree. Online, maybe, although I do miss being around other people. Who aren't my 'people'. Training is absolutely brutal but it's worth it if it means my neck won't be slit while I sleep. I haven't had more than a few hours since Brentwood. Even before then, I wasn't exactly friends with the Sandman. There's a lot of magic around the continent. I think I might be looking into focusing on protecting meta individuals. You know, cutting down meta traders, offering a protection circuit, that sort of thing. I think it would be nice to help more than just information trading. God, a full year and I still don't know what I'm doing. How are Bart, Cassie, Cissie, Kon-El, Anita, and Greta? My snake, Calliope, grew again, I have pictures for you. Remember when I first got her and hatched her from an egg? And I kept thinking she would bite me and I'd die? She's almost 14 feet long now and she's killed two assassins for me. She's a good snake although I still won't just pick her up carelessly like some of the older handlers. It might be my remaining survival instincts. Do you still have those? That's a serious question, by the way. Thanks for the birthday gift, Tim. Don't forget to go to chill out and not be in your head so much, no matter how much thinking you like. You're gonna think my head off your neck.

-Danny :)

Danny,

It's really been a year? There's no way. I'm glad I've been a friend to you, Danny, you're good to be friends with. B has completely forgotten about you, by the way. Feel free to sneak into Gotham for a visit soon, he won't notice a thing. He still has Kon banned sfter the thing with Cass. Remember my sister? Yeah, that was a whole disaster but it seems like a one off thing. Still, Kon's OUT of Gotham for a while. Not that he'll listen. Cissie won state archery! First place again and she's training for the Olympics for next time. I think she'll win first again and she's getting scouted for more parts in shows and movies besides Wendy. Greta likes orange this week, so I got her an orange glass bead for her bracelet. She's also thinking of going into child psych, I can't wait to see where that goes. Anita's about a year away from becoming a fully fledged Mambo and her Uncle Ish has been taking less missions and staying home with her more. Still, she can't wait till her baby parents (I hate thinking about this so much look what you made me do) are school age. Bart is Bart, and he is very much big-haired and big-footed and the best. Cassie and Kon are together. That's a thing. It feels weird? But at least Bart and I are still running experiments! We've been playing with comparing genetic codes a lot. Calliope has such an incredible pattern. Do the other eggs from her clutch have similar ones? What about the coloring? Is the length average close or does the age developmental growth rate have extremely noticeable differences? Ha ha I have plenty of survival instincts. Trust me :)  and I think the average amount. I can't possibly overthink, Danny, thinking is 3/4ths my job. I like getting my friends gifts. Did you really like it? 

-Tim :)

Tim,

I heard the news. Are you okay?

-Danny

Danny 

Bart and Kon are dead gone. They won't come back. I don't think I can be okay.

-Tim

Tim, 

It's been a month and a half. Do you want me to come to Gotham? Say the word.

-Danny

Danny,

Don't come. B is gone. But he's not. Steph isn't dead. Just faked it. I got blown up a bit. She's not my friend anymore. I'm not Robin anymore. Cass left. Kon and Bart are still gone and I've done so much stupid shit and I can't undo it. Danny, I think I need to do something even stupider than what I've already done at this point. I won't be able to send you letters. Please don't send letters. My brothers will read them, and they might come for you if they think you're involved with what I'm about to do. Thank you so much. For everything, Danny. Thank you. 

-Tim

Tim,

Oh fuck, what are you going to do? Tim, please come to me. I will help you. You're my best friend. I will help you, Tim, please let me help you.

-Danny

Danny,

Things are different. I'm different. But that doesn't mean I'm not sorry for going dark for so long. You're still are one of my closest friends, Danny. Kon and Bart came back, somehow. I saved B. But things can't go back to the way they were. If you've noticed, I changed my address. I'll still welcome you of you ever come to Gotham. And I'm sorry if I scared you or worried you. You don't have to forgive me, but that doesn't me I'm not sorry, Danny. Thank you. 

- Tim        :)

TIM,

HOLY SHIT YOU'RE ALIVE. Fuck. Thank God. Thank God. I don't care about any of that, I'm just happy you're alive. Remember, Tim. Anything you need, I'll help. You're my best friend, Tim. 

-Danny :)

Danny,

THANK YOU.

-Tim :)

Tim,

Is that invitation still open? I think I need help with something.

-Danny

Chapter Text

Now that YJ is all older they have some more responsibilities

This does not keep Anita, Greta, and Cissie from video calling Tim, Kon, and Cassie once a week

Cassie Bart and Kon visit tims apartment on a rotating schedule weekly someone is always over there

Cissie has an open invitation to stay at tims apartment if she is filming in Gotham

Greta has knit scarves & woven bracelets for everyone with charms attached 

Anita updates weekly w her parents baby pics and how shes doing as she gets closer to becoming a Mambo (this is basically a high priestess of Vodoun and Anita's grandma was a Vodoun priestess)

Kon always asking "do u guys want me to make yall a sweater👀?"

Cassie tells the group before even her mom when she gets accepted to NYU for archaeology & greek history

Bart visits Cissie where ever she is at least 2 times a week, has an all access pass to Cissie's trailer when shes filming

Bart takes food requests and drops them off for his besties

Greta talks abt her new interest in child psychology and everyone listens 

Constantly swapping clothes/buying clothes to send to each other 

Worlds Messiest Group Chat

Kon sometimes flies out with Krypto to Cissie's location to give Cissie Doggy De-Stressor Time 

Naptime Phone Calls

Shit like Cassie:"Hey tell me if this guy is cute enough for me to ask out"

Cissie: "Go ahead"

Cassie: *sends pic*

Kon: "HES UGLY AS FUCK"*cackles*

Tim: "i mean....he is so NOT as pretty as you :/"

Bart: "hey i think i saw a chimp at the zoo that looked like that"

Anita: "LMAO NO WAY?"

Cissie: "Are you OUT of ur mind?!"

(Taken directly from me and my friends and yeah bart was me)

Tim: "gonna take a nap"

*knocking at his door*

Cassie, Kon, and Bart pointing at each other like the spider man meme: "we heard its nap time"

Traya Updates

(Shes fast tracking a mechanical engineering degree bc she was canonically a genius)

Red Tornado Updates

(Hes living his life w his family and sometimes gets a chill up his spine when his previous charges are up to something)

Bart & Tim: *explode something*

Red Tornado, in Chicago: Hm, somethings wrong :/ oh well

Movie nights over vc

"Jason said this movie was okay"

*collective booing*

"Dick said we have to watch this"

*its the land before time*

"Okay"

Nobody in YJ is scared of Batman they think hes lame 

Kon considered going with that godawful buzzcut but anita threatened to ring his neck so hard his head spun so he kept the undercut w curls :)

Everyone has a Superboy leather jacket

Everybody has a batarang

Everyone has one of anitas candles

Everyone owns a pair of Barts socks (washed)

Everyone owns a wondergirl pin

Greta gave everyone a beaded woven bracelet w their fav colours

Theres a slobo shrine in barts spaceship

Everyone has an arrowhead from cissie

Tim has plans to take everyone to the makeshift concert hall under the monorail bridge that puts on rock concerts twice a month at night

Teasing Tims rich boy image (nicely with love)

Cissie & Tim debating starting a dating scandal just for shits and giggles

Greta sends pictures of her new emotional support animal. Hes a 167 pound absolutely ginormous dark grey Cane Corso she named Lovebug. Lovebug knows the YJ kids scents and Greta spent a lot of time socializing him and training him (his ears are undocked and so is his tail<3)

Everyones always texting everyone

Timezones 💀

Tim: does anyone want pics of my cat?

*everyone is typing*

Kon: hey guys krypto pics?

*everyone is typing*

Greta: lovebug says hi *pic attached*

Everyone: id die for him thanks. 

Cissie, Cassie, Anita, and Greta are all cycle-synced 💀 

Heating packs Kon & Bart (cassie and greta get seriously shitty cramps), Cooling pack Tim (anita and cissie get hot flashes) 

One playlist, all of them

Their group collab playlist is 102 hours and 41 minutes long and Bart added claire de lune 12 different times 

They have a minecraft server

Bart lives in Kon&Tim's minecraft tree house half the time but also has a base that's overflowing with dogs

The girls spent 28 collective hours building a ginormous mincraft palace 

Tim is the server dictator mod and everytime kon somehow manages to get creative mode tim chooses precisely when kon is hovering over a ravine to put him back in survival mode

None of them are shy about undressing in front of the others because theyve all had to cut the clothes off of each other to give stitches/perform minor surgeries/redress wounds and its not like they had a doctor

Kon has reset everyones bones with TTK

Tims cape doubles as a blanket for anyone and everyone

Anita the official hair stylist

Cissie's scrunchies are free real estate

Greta has to hand over her scarves and gloves

Bart has slept in everyones bed and had breakfast with everyones parents whether they like it or not

Cassies mom has walked in to see cassie and some friend or another laying on the ground with the nail polish 

They all own jewelry themed after each other obvious or not (mostly earrings)

Pierced YJ my beloved

Ayo,,,,yj,,,,get tattoos👀 together👀

Like tiny emblems that represent each other all clustered on a shoulder blade or dotting down their spines or crawling from one hip to the opposite shoulder??

Everyone carries a specific chapstick for Bart bc Bart gets rlly chapped lips its birthday cake flavoured

THE teen hero gossip squad

All hold hands when they walk together

Greta and Tim are the ones that go overboard on presents for birthdays/yule/occasions that necessitate gifts

Cassie and Cissie worry the normal amount

Anita and Kon think abt their gifts but its usually 'i put a lot of thought and consdieration into this gift so even if they dont like it i gave it my best"

Bart 'found this thing made me think of u' hands over funky seaglass piece. 

The others, tearing up: thANKS

Will go insane if they cant talk to each other once a week at least

Tim: wdym i need a detox?

Bruce: you and your team are too close your mental stability hinges on them

Tim: ???? YOU are questioning me? Nice try, buster

Bart slowly wiggling into anyones lap like a really sneaky cat

Kon is the BEST teddy bear

Tim sings when he does the dishes and the YJ kids tackle anyone who tries to bring it up bc if tim realizes he does it then he wont do it anymore

Cassie carrying her multiple of her besties on her back/shoulders 

Greta's contacts names for her yj friends (she adds hearts bc she just feels like that person):

Anita- The Queen<3

Cassie- Lightning Thief<3

Cissie- Cisskabob<3

Tim- Prince Charming<3 (this was from when greta had that fat crush on tim and now its a running joke)

Bart- Bart to the Future<3

Kon- Our Mom<3

Girls Nights- childhood movies, snacks, ugly-crying sessions with no judgement, stupid dares, the occasional dip in witchcraft, anita talking abt the cultural importance of voudun and how voodoo misconceptions have demonized it, possibly going out to a graveyard for kicks, playing with each others hair, trying on each others clothes, cuddling, maybe going out and shooting nerf guns at assholes who catcall/harrass anyone

Boys night- snacks, stacking things on tim, cuddle puddle, they all scream to the void at some point, bart makes them go to walmart at 2 a.m., snacks, "will this shock me?", documentary binge, experiments time, "can you throw me?" "Yeah", a fun game of 'which bat will see us using powers in the city', night flights, night runs, ruining public kahoot games, minecraft, How much soda can i drink before my stomach rebels, *all of them shrimp posturing around tims laptop to watch blackfish for the 100th time*

Entire group nights- GIANT CUDDLE PUDDLE, snacks snacks snacks snacks, clothes are SHARED, dexter playtime with a laser they all take turns, "do you wanna hunt down a local serial killer?" "Ya lets go" *cissie and greta stay inside*, they all get into a fist fight over picking a movie, "watch me put all this salt water taffy in my mouth", someone starts cryimg at random and they just let it happen unless they request support bc sometimes u just need to cry, squished on to one (1) couch

Chapter Text

Bruce:

• You bet your ass rich bitch Bruce Wayne was trained to ballroom dance
• Bruce can NOT sing. He sounds like a chainsaw when he sings no matter how much tea he drinks alfred
• Thomas wasnt much of a singer either actually
• Plays the cello. Idk how to explain it but the man is/was a cellist at some point
• Also plays the piano
• Does not like to play the piano but would clumsily play Chopsticks for his mom when he was 6. Did not play the piano again till Dick came along
• He's a meh artist, hes the best with charcoal sketching but he makes a mess with acrylics and forget water colours
• Hes actually rlly good at drawing profiles in charcoal like police sketches
• Okay at theater arts but pretending to be someone else for too long can take way too much effort and time unless its for some mission
• Idk i just think that since he seems to have so many skillsets he needs to suck at something besides emotions and art would technically be something inconsequential but it lowkey drives him insane

Dick:

• Hes an average singer but he gets really into it. If his singing is a 5-6/10 then his enthusiasm is an 11 
• Who cares if you dont sound like an angel when youre just fucking around and having fun? 
• Really good dancer, especially contemporary dance
• Can waltz but hes better at the foxtrot which he never explains why hes so good at it
• Aerial arts 10000/10
• He's a decent cartoon drawer actually
• He plays acoustic guitar, ukelele, kazoo, harmonica, trumpet, and the snare drum
• Can and WILL play the circus song if given the chance
• Once put a harmonica in his mouth while having a panic attack and it was so ridiculous he laughed himself out if a panic attack (my best friend did this. Yes, the same one who made the white girl wednesday juice and went to catholic school)
• A born performer comfy slipping into roles as need be 

Cass: 

• Cant sing tbh
• It hurts her vocal chords lowkey and sometimes its just too harsh for her
• Her Batman impression is even better than Jason's tho
• Really good ear for pitch even tho she cant pitch and it keeps her in tempo when she dances
• Ballet ballet ballet
• Shes just really good at dancing all around but ballet is her favourite
• Ngl the best dancer in the family its all about the body
• Is pretty good at tracing drawings but free hand is a struggle for her
• She took pretty long to learn to write and somedays holding a pencil feels more like holding a weapon than a writing tool
• Her doodles are all cute and pointy tho
• Fingerpaints with Damian
• Cass likes finger painting
• Instruments are kind of awkward for her
• She likes listening to music she just cant really play an instrument
• Thats valid
• Acting is so weird to her
• The theatre arts arent very interesting to her
• But she likes theatre dancing that looks really awesome

Jason: 

• Pre crisis baby jason was so into looking at paintings 
• He went to an art museum for extra credit on a hw assignment💀💀
• But he loves music
• Idk i like to imagine catherine had one of those little cheap old radios that u can buy from like the thrift store or a garage sale and jason would adjust the antenna so he could pick up a good radio station so they could listen to music together
• He can ballroom dance begrudgingly but doesnt really dance 
• Hes more of one of those headboppers yknow
• Its more relaxing to him like that
• Really nice deep bass when he sings
• He hums to the kids he helps out as hood when they get to stressed
• He can play the ukelele
• Jason likes abstract drawing
• Jason will do it to relax and when hes relaxing he doesnt want to really think or focus
• So abstract drawing<3
• Wont elaborate but hes great at arranging flowers

Tim:

• Piano boy
• u KNOW his parents made him go to piano lessons💀💀
• He probably couldve finagled his way aroudn it but Janet asked if he would play for her when they got back and Tim couldnt help it
• He likes playing for Cass when she dances or Alfred when Alfred takes a rare minute to sit down
• His mom taught him to dance properly ofc, she would have him lead as best he could but would sometimes take lead when she knew it was just the two of them around so she could pick him up by his hands off the ground and spin him a lil
• Hes not really fond of formal dancing but silly playful dancing with people he loves? Vibe 100
• Would practice ballet with cass but Holy Fuck Ballet Hurts (ballet is for people with iron wills)
• Doodler. He cant really 'draw' draw but his doodles are fun and silly and he likes it a lot so who fricken cares?
• Thorough music enjoyer 
• Music is such a good stim tbh
• I rember he was REALLY into paintings and sculptures and pottery pieces in lonely place of dying like he knew the artists and the year of production and shit fancy boi
• He sings tenor but its always very quiet
• He used to sing to hinself when he was little so it didnt seem too quiet but never loud enough to make his voice echo around or wake his roommate at boarding school
• Not a popstar immaculate voice but its very,,, soothing. Calm. Noce and soft and just enjoyable if you can catch him singing
• He hums while he does the dishes and is unaware of this fact
• Tim is an amazing photographer
• Photography is his main focus of art, loves developing his photos by hinself, has ALL the lenses and paper

Damian: 

• Violinst. Violin violin violin
• He always seems to have a little bit of rosin on his sleevs/fingertips that he cant get rid of or notice in time 
• Cant sing at ALL
• Like bruce he just has NO pitch what so ever and it just irks him ever so slightly
• But he excels at violin and has a general eye for art
• Watercolors, copics, acrylics, charcoal, color pencil, chalk, oils, whatever 
• If its painting or drawing of some kind its Damians deal
• Likes doing still life or realistic but sometimes indulges in fantastical art pieces of myths or fantasy lands
• He knows how to do tablah
• Knows lots of dancing styles but hes very technical abt it
• He enjoys classical music
• Damian also likes video game osts
• That is a secret between him, colin, and dick
• Is lowkeybreally interested in graphic art esp for video game graphics
• Likes anatomical sketches for animals specifically

Chapter Text

I know a lot of fics have tims apartment look staged and fake or completely shitty with trash all over and thats a valid take

Thats just not me

Like yeah the dishwasher is always full bc tim never remembers to put his dishes away but he has a sticky note from cassie reminding him to wash the dishes

His plates and bowls are all mismatched

Never seems to have butter knives but has way too many spoons and forks for one person

Has at least 10 mugs and thermoses but only 3 actual cups

He paid an interior designer to make his apartment look cozy and warm

There is not a singular white wall or ceiling in his home

His photographs are framed with frames traya made him and he took the photos himself

He has a guest room that gets used only 1% of the time and mostly by Dex who wants to take a nap

NO FLUORESCENTS (flourescents my beLOATHED)

The worlds fluffiest, squishiest, plushest sectional couch ever to exist

But way too many goddamn throw pillows nobody should own this many throw pillows 

His curtains and rug are a soft blue that match each other

His walls are a soft neutral beige but not in beige (derogatory) but beige (positive) yknow???

BIG WINDOWS but one sided glass so tim can see outside but nobody can see inside

Patio that gets turned into a catio

Coffee table that matches the cabinets and table that the interior designer picked (lets call her Michelle) bc Michelle didnt trust her teenage client to make good design decisions she was correct

Anita sends magnets to Tim for his fridge theyre all shaped like jalepeños or chilli peppers

Theres those little pot lights in the ceiling that dont stick out theyre like in the ceiling and theyre on a sensory friendly soft yellow light

Theres a SAD mode for the lights in tims home bc gotham doesnt get enough sun for Kon

Tim has spare clothes for all his friends in a dresser specifically for them if they visit

Sticky note pads in pastel colors from greta tim uses to remind himself of things

Kon and Cassie have a key bc bart just vibrates in instead

Dexters cat stuff everywhere

Spare toothbrushes/toothpaste/mouthwash

Only has bubblegum toothpaste/mouthwash

Has shampoo&conditioner for each person specifically and its their favourite one

Has a candy jar on the counter

No tablecloth or place mats lmao

Always has a different candle for every day

Always says hi to the front desk worker (its usually Omar)

Has a mini fridge in the Nest usually for Bart and Cass

The only clothes he owns that are solely his are his work clothes

His comfy clothes are a mix and match of hand me downs from Dick, stolen pieces of his friends' clothes, gifts from his friends

Theres a shoe cubby by the door and a basket bc Barts shoes are too big for the shoe cubby so he gets a basket for his shoes

Actually has a washing machine and a dryer

Uses it/knows how to use it, he just forgets for hours if he has something in the dryer 

Sorts his clothes but doesnt fold them that shit is clean and sorted already he is just stuffing it in a drawer and letting it be

Has a little cleaning robot he and bart made named Bop that he carries between the Nest and apartment to get all the crumbs and filth and stuff 

Deepcleans the apartment once a week begrudgingly, except now bart kon and cassie have made it a game bc they come over to do it with him so now its lowkey one of his fave times of the week bc cleaning is actually fun when u do it with other people and theyre willing to screw around with you so you arent bored to tears 

It always has the underlying scent of lavender cleaner 

ITS ALWAYS FUCKING COLD IN THE APARTMENT

He will not change the temperature no matter fuckign what

Has so many extra blankets

Has ALL the spare pillows

Core Four building a  massive pillow and blanket birds nest on the floor 👀

Owns one (1) oven mitt but has ceramic coasters that look like sunsets

They were a gift from Greta

Does not own kitchen towels

Its not just Tim's apartment now. Its a space for his friends and they shove their love between the walls and take up space and its Tim's and their's and it's home :)

Chapter Text

Idk dukes actual age but DC stands for disregard canon

So hes like 18, hes going to Bludhaven Community College for his associate's and hes planning on majoring in engineering

Mostly bc my bestie (yeah That One) is a physics-engineering major and i need to express her outrage at physics-engineering somewhere 

So much fucking math thank god im a Lit major bit thats not relevant

Duke and Harper have some classes together and Duke is p much the only person in class Harper tolerates so They Hang

And Cass and Harper Hang Out

So Cass meets Duke and Harper is like 'hey this is duke and hes the only tolerable person in Prof. Mitchum's class bc most of the other students are fuckign kiss asses'

He passes Cass's vibe check

Now normally this wouldnt be too bad but that means Duke, in the universe where hes Just Some Guy, is exposed to the MOST bullshit ever

Cass asks him to come over to her apartment so he can study with harper and watch disney Robin Hood with her

Guess what? Some GINORMOUS ass mf with a white hair streak is in her kitchen making crepes (its jason)

Theyre good crepes that doesnt detract from the fact that duke feels like hes gonna get chopped up into jerky

He meets Dick. Dick is nice. Until dick pulls his usual spine disrespect and Duke fully nopes out bc doctor he may not be but vertebrae dont work like that miss him with that shit

Cass: i have gift for you

*it is a very large stuffed bee*

Duke, who has no clue where hes gonna put this: thanks :D

At least hes picking up on asl? Thats a plus

Duke trying to study in cass's nice living room:

Tim, crawling in through her window: 👁👁 Hello Duke [insert middle name] Thomas

Thats forever the impression Duke has of Tim and it keeps him up at night

Sometimes tim casually dissociates (non traumatic, just in the way u do when u just no longer think on this realm) in front of duke who has to resist the urge to yell "blink, motherfucker" CONSTANTLY

Damian blatantly twirling a knife as he sits on Cass's couch waiting for her:

Duke who literally just wanted to finish his goddamn math:

Bruce is there one time to check up on Cass and Duke has a 🕴 momwnt in front of who he perceives as 'Bruce fucken Wayne'

It doesnt last long bc bruce falls down the stairs

Tim walking out of cass's bedroom after a sleepover and duke didnt know he was there: hey u want some donuts

Duke: ???? Sure??!?!??!

Tim: cool

Kon, 15 mins later walking in with no fucks: hey duke i got u ur donuts

Duke has no fuckign clue who THIS is but fuck fine okay whatever he got a donut

Jason lurking outside of dukes window ominously

Duke literally just wants to be cass's friend why is he getting all this bs

Harper thinks its the FUNNIEST THING

Duke: ??? My hoodie??? Did i leave it at ur place yesterday???

Cass: No. Was it special

Duke: no it was really cheap 

Cass: :/ that sucks here have money to replace it

*she was lying its now a part of her collection*

Duke who just feels like something is /wrong/ with all these people except

He didnt get THIS far in life by asking too many questions

Not his monkeys, not his circus, not his goddamn business

Duke is here to study and eat some alfred cookies and use Cass's Netflix after he surrenders his jackets to her

He is Ignoring  he Does Not See

He is Mr. Normal Guy Duke Thomas

Chapter Text

Bruce:

• You think he would be hard to get a gift for
• Rich man has everything right?
• WRONG
• GET HIM STUFF
• DONT GET HIM ANYTHING TACTICAL DONT GET HIM ANYTHING FUNCTIONAL
• GET HIM /STUFF/
• a 2 dollar baggie of glo-in-the-dark gel dinosaurs u can stick on the wall is PERFECT
• Get him dinosaur stuff
• Bruce likes dinos (remembers my intense 6 year long fixation on dinosaurs/fossils)
• You gotta get him stuff
• If u gave him a drawing of like a t-rex u put a decent amount of time and effort into he will put it on the fridge
• Get this man the most random shit ever
• He is RIDOCULOUSLY easy to buy shit for 
• Except for clothes
• My GOD is this man hard to buy clothes for
• Let that guy buy his own clothes just get this mf a dancing bracchiosaurus bobble head
• But will he overshoot on buy gifts for others? 
• ABSOLUTELY
• He is an unreasonable gift giver
• Its ever worse bc this mf is a stalker
• Grown ass man dressed as a bat stalks ur amazon prime history to find ur ideal gift
• Has given each of his kids heirlooms of some sort 
• Sometimes makes people feel bad when he casually spends 1000 bucks on a gift

Dick:

• Trinkets 
• Trinkets trinkets trinkets
• Ceramic elephants glass tigers porcelain circus bears
• GYM RAT STUFF
• In one issue of nightwing babs gets dick a glute master and he goes insane over it he loved it
• Get him gym/exercise stuff
• He doesnt really have hard tastes to cater to
• Sugar
• Give him sugary shit too 
• Like candy bags or ice cream or coupons for like free milkshakes too
• UGLY TSHIRTS
• Omg get him ugly tshirts he will love them unironically 
• He will compile small gifts for ppl in a gift bag over the course of the year before birthdays/holiday celebrations
• So instead of one large gift its a gift bag full of stuff
• Just a collection of a bunch of stuff he thinks someone will like
• Very sentimental gifts

Cass:

• She likes getting pretty stuff
• Just give her sparkly shiny pretty jewelry
• And pretty dresses and skrts and blouses
• She has functional yoga pants and tshirts and leggings and stuff BUT just get her stuff that makes her feel like a princess
• I think cass deserves to dress like a princess and have pretty jewelry and i will not change my opinion
• Ballet stuff too
• Can give her food as a gift
• She gives themed gifts
• Once didnt know what to give Babs as a gift so she just gave Babs a pineapple
• And all of babs gifts have been pineapple themed ever since bc Babs thought it was the FUNNIEST thing ever done
• All of tims gifts are cherry printed/themed bc he mentioned he thought cherry print was nice like one (1) time and she REMEMBERED that shit
• Monkey print for Dick, Bats for Bruce, flower print for Jason, cactus print for damian. Cass has the market on themed gifts cornered

Jason:

• Functional gifts
• Get him functional gifts he can still enjoy
• Its not that he doesnt enjoy/appreciate the cute presents that are simply just fun
• He just bounces safehouses a lot
• He wants to be able to take what he needs and not leave the necessities behind
• So giving him a necessity as a gift will ensure he keeps it
• And if its an everyday usage gift he eill use it every day without fail
• Waste not, want not u know
• He will accept succulents/cacti tho
• Altho if the not functional gift is small enough he'll put it in his pockets
• Lian gives jason sparkly beads and if u stick ur hand in any pocket of any pair of his pants you can/will pull out at least one sparkly orange or sparkly red bead 
• A tries his best giver
• Makes food for gifts when he doesnt know what else to do
• Provides weapons as well
• He says his gift giving skills are rusty
• His best gifts are when he voluntarily hands over a jacket or hoodie or shirt
• Clothes are a necessity>jason gives his friends/siblings one of his necessities> they now own a possession jason considered important

Tim:

• Oh my god it is so hard to give him a gift because nobody ever fuckign knows what he likes
• And yet it is so easy because if you say 'hey i saw this and it made me think of u' HE WILL KEEP IT FOREVER
• Tim is a sucker for homemade gifts
• Paint a pebble for him or make him paper flowers and Tim is storing them in his fort knox-esque apartment 
• Has he ever said this? No
• Have people around him simply picked up on context clues to figure it out? What tf else were they supposed to do? 
• YJ probably knows this fact best mostly bc of Bart just nabbing shit and saying 'for u!!' And tim having a visible seizure bc 'FOR HIM???'
• Kon makes him a shitty pair of gloves and tim almost attacks him when he tries to take them back to remake them
• Makes everyone doubt if he will like his gifts literally just say "i saw this and thought of u/i made this just for u" that is now a Special Item the yj kids have given him some seriously ridiculous shit over the years
• And yet Tim is the Nightmare Person to shop for over the holidays/his birthday for most of the people in his life because Tim will only drop like one (1) fact about himself a year and it came at a price like,,,idk,,,ur soul,,,,and its so obscure and ridiculous u cant do anything with it
• Has given dick multiple aneurysms abt what to get him bc TIM WHAT DO U EVEN LIKE??? 
• Researches and stalks people so he knows the perfect precise gift to get them so they will give him a good grade in gift giving
• Which is both normal to want and possible to achieve
• This is when his chaotic side and people pleaser side come into ultimate contact
• "Hey i got this incredibly specific thing u mentioned being super into one time several months ago at 3:42 p.m. on Monday"
• Does not label his gifts so he has given so many anonymous gifts
• Not afraid to spend money for his gifts he WILL do it

Damian: 

• High end art supplies
• Drawing tablets
• Informational animal books
• Warrior cats/Guardians of Gahoole/Wolves of the Beyond
• Video games/ action figure collectibles from video games
• Just the oddest mix of "childish" things and useful functional gifts
• Animal themed stuff
• ANIMALS
• Sometimes its surprising how easy it is to get damian stuff
• Other times it feels like an impossible task bc he is NOT afraid to heckle the quality of things 
• Its not as bad as it used to be tho so 
• He wills spend money unrepentantly
• Remember when he gave Colin the Cycle of Abuse? Money spender
• Will give his friends weapons
• May even teach his friends to use said weapons bc he simply cannot be around incomperent people
• Do NOT ever get mushy on him when giving him a thank you
• It will make him very uncomfortable
• Just be normally appreciative without the gushing 

Chapter Text

I know ive put these hcs somewhere in my authors notes but they deserve to be transferred over here so

Alfred:

• The british accent
• Its the Posh British Accent
• U know the one that everyone mimics when they wanna pretend to have birtish accent and dont know that theres like a bunch of different colloquial accents? 
• So he sounds 100 times more snippy when he makes snarky commentary bc he sounds Fancy
• As hes gotten older his voice has edged into the Soft Grandpa tone
• He speaks softly now but in his youth he had the Military Man voice
• But now he sounds like an elderly grandpa and i wont stop saying that
• Probably sounds v comforting if he reads a story
• Sounds like he should narrate a childrens documentary
• He regularly drinks tea so his voice is v soft and warm bc hot tea + vocal chords
• Ive never had a grandpa and im latina so idk what having an old sweet and snarky british grandpa would be like but im sire alfred meets the requirement

Bruce:

• Bass but can bring his voice up to a lower baritone for Brucie Wayne
• But goes HARD on the vocal fry/growling as Batman
• But Bruce as just Bruce the Dad Man has just a regular bass
• Sounds like a Tired Dad and has since he was like 22 and made the BRILLIANT decision to take on a 9 yr old ward
• Practices his obnoxious higher pitched laugh 
• The growly voice scares people
• The Dad voice makes his kids wanna take a nap on his cape
• Which makes it so much worse when he pulls the Batman voice on them when they fuck up and they feel like theyre not good enough for even the Disappointed Dad voice
• Has a tiny bit of a british accent but only when he is sleepy beyond all reason bc assimilation via Alfred
• Mostly has a Bristol accent which is just VERY ritzy new england
• I bet when he sneezes it echoes through the entire ass manor and he has to hold his back and makes the 'urhghg' noises and it briefly gives him a headache
• If he laughs he also has to hold his back too 
• Yawns like 'hhHUUUUUUUUUUHh'

Dick:

• Midrange baritone
• Very warm sounding very comforting
• Pitches his voice up as Nightwing
• Pitches his voice down as his equivalent to brucie wayne aka 'Richie Wayne'
• Had a weird amalgamation of accents when he was little
• Travelling around had him picking up and mixing accents
• These days u cant really tell where hes from?? 
• Like he SHOULD sound like hes from the east coast but he just has an INDISCERNABLE accent
• He sounds very friendly and kids he teaches gymnastics to have never failed to stop crying when he speaks softly to them
• Can do very silly voices
• One of those weird yawners that yawn with their mouth closed
• At least most of the time he does that
• The 1% of time he yawns with his mouth open istg his jaw unhinges 
• Sneezes in rows like he cant sneeze just once he has to sneeze at keast 3 times
• Sounds jolly when he laughs it comes from the middle of his chest

Cass:

• Vocal fry/growl that could and has made criminals piss themselves
• Voice is a pretty deep contralto
• The growl comes from all the years of disuse and her vocal chords being a bit on the weak side
• Its not like,,,a masculine voice??? Just like a woman with a deep voice
• Deep voice cass lives rent free in my brain
• Tbh just DOES NOT talk to strangers unless necessary
• Her equivalent to Brucie Wayne is Cassie Wayne who is a perfectly silent lady who can hold her tongue better than anyone
• Black Bat only needs to growl out 'stop' and the majority of the petty criminals will FREEZE because holy fuck that is a scary moment
• Raspy
• No accent really 
• Her giggle is fuckimg OMINOUS and i think thats beautiful
• If her and tim laugh at the same time it gives horror movie twins vibes
• QUEEN of the batman impressions she sounds more like batman than bruce does sometimes
• Also yawns with her mouth closed but her eyes are always wide fuckign open
• Sneezes silently it looks like a regular sneeze its just 100% silent

Jason:

• Bass with a bit of a smokers rasp
• Bc herbal cigarettes may not have nicotine but inhaling smoke doesnt exactly do favours for ur voice box
• Can do the 2nd best batman impression after Cass
• Tbh scary as fuck to hear especially with the mechanical voice modifier
• Has a belly laugh i wont take criticism
• Loud ass sneeze but he doesnt need to grab his back or make those 'urghh' noises like bruce
• He doesnt have the dad sneeze but he definitely has a big sneeze
• The only one with a normal ass yawn its just also a little loud
• Rough new jersey accent he cant get rid of
• Speaks very softly with little kids so they dont get scared of him
• I think if he yelled that would be very scary 
• Very good at mimicking accents
• Very clear speaker actually does not mumble bc he is not afraid to loudly proclaim someone a buttsucker
• Verbally brutal if need be
• He doesnt get them much but sometimes he still gets just random voice cracks and lies that its hus helmet giving feedback
• "You wILL tell me what black mask is planning" 
• "Was that a-"
• "That was my helmet shut the fuck up"

Tim:

• Hes a fucking tenor i fucking know it
• Mid range tenor 
• Absolutely has used a voice modifier (this has happened in canon in the robin comics) and i bet he used it a shit ton so the criminals would actually take him seriously before they realized he was wearing like 15 pounds of armor padding and lifts in his shoes
• Not squeaky or girly sounding he just sounds,,,young. His voice sounds very light
• Mumbler
• Cannot tell if hes speaking too loud or too quiet ever
• Same bristol accent as bruce he can just also completely erase any vocal inflection 
• 'Timothy Wayne' sounds incredibly judgemental, incredibly nonchalant, and very disdainful
• Tim has gotten more chatty since meeting YJ bc well,,,they just let him talk,,,,and they talk back,,,,he gets unabashedly passionate when he really enjoys what he talks about the older he gets and the less fucks he has to give
• Good at faking voices but cant mimic directly
• Quiet sneeze and small yawn unless hes trying to be obnoxious
• Sleeptalker but its either incomprehensible mumbling or clear and ominous statements
• He still gets minor voice cracks but since his voice isnt all that deep they arent too bad
• Cass's growly voice and his lighter vocal tone are so FUCKING scary to hear together it gives horror movie kids
• Shrieks if he starts laughing just a lil too hard its so ugly-cute lmfao

Damian:

• Lmao squeaky baby voice of an 11 yr old 
• Lil baby voice
• Good at mimicking voices but ultimately mimics women and small children the best at this point
• Hopes he has a good growly voice like bruce when he gets older 
• Has Talia's and Ra's(ra's's? Ra's'? Fuck that) accent
• Kind of tilts his vowels and the r consonant specifically
• Oddly enough never sneezes in front of ppl? 
• I bet he has a kitten sneeze lol
• Does loud exagerrated yawns to show hes bored 💀💀
• Is unashamed of his accent and proud of it 
• Sounds judgemental as hell
• Refuses to have a persona up until hes like 15
• Baby voice cracks lmfao
• Ominous lil baby dracula laugh
• Cartoon villain laughing 11 year old💀

Chapter Text

Okay so context:

This would be post bruce death in canon where spiiler reveals herself to be alive

Tim had thought an imposter stole his dead girlfriends mantle and was completely pissed

Turns out steph was alive and tim was thrown for a loop

Atp his best friends are still dead, his dad-mentor is dead, and he is not the most stable of cables

In my au where bruce dies only a month after kon and bart did in december because i have no actual sense if timelines and theyre irrelevant to me, steph comes back,,,mid january, and tim is kinda hot off the grief press and the most unstable of cables

But he kinda just rolls with it because hey spoiler is alive and hes not imagining it because babs said hi to her

Cass isnt here bc she fled directly after bruces funeral and damians here because he arrived just weeks after kon and bart died

Oooh boy that is,,,I've really fucked the timeline so tims just a compressed ball of grief huh?

Anyways

Tim isnt really focusing on Robin 

And bruce left these orders for steph to help improve tim as robin (in canon and my au which is,,,?? A choice on dcs part for me to keep it Idk whatever whatever)

And theres this guy called Ulysses Armstrong aka the General who takes the mantle of Anarky after Lonnie Machin is put in a coma (lonnie becomes moneyspider who is hooked up to the internet and he and tim are longstanding frenemies. He was one of tims og rogues from like the first robin comics issues or smthn i cant remember)

Ulysses is obsessed with war and violence and he and tim have duked it out before enough that id say that theres a basic file on Ulysses

And steph, on bruces orders, hires Ulysses to kinda get tim back in the swing

Id probably say bruce came up with the ppans in the weeks between kon and barts death and his death when he realized tim was kinda just going through the motions and was in emotional catatonia and might eventually drop robin

Ulysses does this thing with bombs and stuff

And basically at the end of the comics, ulysses turns on steph's deal with him and it ends with ulysses accidentally bombing his little brother and sister which tim gets blamed for by ulysses, tim himself, and a couple others involved 

Which,,,,nice,,,,yeah 

ANYWAYS

Tim also gets blown up in the fucking warehouse and he is VERY close to the explosion

So much so that he has ginormous burn scars across his head which is why he had the fucking cowl in the fucking first place

I know we clown on tim for the RR cowl and "condom head" and "dr midnite cosplayer" and "looks 35 with it and 14 without it"

But he originally put on the cowl to protect his fucking expansive burn scars he sustained because of this shit

I never really got into the condom head joke but i thought it was a bit funny how OLD he looked with it on and how young he looked without it

Guess who feels like a son of a bitch now?

Mouse does (i feel like should state im anti disney and anti mickey mouse franchise on a general basis which is irrelevant but i feel like i had to say it)

Now dc completely forgets the giant burn scars tim got but i didnt know about them

In my au Tim immediately starts growing his hair back after a few transplants post burn injury to cover up the ones down his neck and wanted long hair anyways

They fade out while on his Brucequest/Eurotrip from Hell and theyre mainly across his back/neck and theyre kinda pale pinkish which is why theyre so hard to notice

Im gonna cry what if tim got skin grafts and transplants for his ears due to damage

FUCK

MOVING ON 

Tim kinda yells at steph that he never wants to see her as spoiler again which kinda feels like a cheap way of leading into batgirl steph

I prefer steph to keep ger own mantle

She just doesnt feel like a legacy kinda character?? I kinda prefer she keep the mantle she invented for herself and join up as a Bird of Prey

But tim storms off which is a lot nicer than me because one girl once shoved me face first into a wall when i was 15 and i bounced right back and broke her fucking nose 

Some people label it as his controlling tendencies but he kinda just ??? Yelled at her??? Yelling at steph does jack or shit to prevent her from doing shit and he didnt take her gear away (like bruce has done to ppl in canon) and there are instances where tims been such a little shithead but my guy he literally got blown up and severely injured yelling at the person who had a hand in this inadvertently, is just??? It sounds like its venting to me???

Anyways tim shortly leaves after that for his Eurotrip through Hell

And when he comes back he is completely willing to work with steph, put aside all their arguments and apologizes to her for acting like a prick

I still keep that

But tim keeps a strictly distant coworker relationship with her in my au

Why? Why cant we go back to tim-steph chaotic besties?

Because tim is a person

And steph is a person

And they are messy and they have strained relationships with each other and they werent as good for each other as they probably thought because they were like 14/15 and 15/16 year old  teenagers whose dating lives are terrible and messy and sometimes break ups are ugly

And they have an ugly break up and maybe spoiler and red robin can work together

But Tim can apologize and just leave that where it is and work on healing himself and stabilizing his support network

And steph can be her own person and grow more as a vigilante

Cass does not know abt what went down. Tim and Steph agreed to tell her they had a bad argument where they were both agreeing that they werent the best for each other and broke it off

I never liked pieces where YJ and Steph are besties

Because they met in my fav person TL New Earth all of like 2/3 times and they did not give a fuck abt each other

She was just some hero from gotham to them

And i think steph deserves her own friendship group thats not attached to tim

Tim and Steph can work together on the field cohesively as Spoiler and Red Robin

Tim and Steph as Tim and Steph used to be parts of each others lives and that will always be true but theyre both ready to just move on and grow as people and mature more.

Maybe ill have them be okay friends again maybe they wont. Who knows?

Chapter Text

While i love me some problematic superfamily with clark and kon as distressed father-son who dont know how to act around each other without lois and/or jon playimg mediator

It is infinitely fucking funnier to have Kon as Clarks younger brother

I think clarks a fairly humble man already

But he needs to stay on his toes

He sorely needs a younger brother to keep him in check a lil bit

Not because he actually needs it

Just for comedy

I also crave cool, overindulgent uncle Kon with Jon

Jon thinks Kon is the coolest thing since the invention of the naval ship 

Kon calls jon 'scout' short for 'boy scout' 

Kon: "technically, im your crotch goblin with lex luthor"

Clark: *longest sigh* "please dont call yourself that"

Kon: "why, are you scared of your own crotch goblin?"

Clark's Just Some Guy + Midwestern Dad aesthetic giving his poor coworkers whiplash when Conner visits to drop off Clark's lunch at the office bc he forgot it again and Kon shows up with his punk undercut/piercings/leather jacket/eyebrow slit vibe and thats 'Normal Dude Clark with the Dad Sneeze's' BROTHER???

The closest to a jumpscare for kon when he lives with the lane-kents on the mini farm outside of metropolis is helping Jon out with chores and suddenly they hear the 'HUUGH-CHOOOO' from a mile out

Kon laughing as Clark does the Dad Back Grab

Clark trying to show Kon how to shave his chin scruff in the mirror and Jon accidemtally gets an eyebrow slit

Clark sitting jon and kon down for Kryptonian Biology/Culture/Language lessons (the day kon learns he has more than two rows of teeth is immortalized by Lois)

Brother trips to the Fortress of Solitude👀👀

Kon: "what made you pick him?"

Lois: "i love him very much"

Kon: "yeah but hes a goof"

Kon initially wanting Clark as a Parent then realizing his little brother potential and doing a Grinch Grin

Kon realizes Clark is a goof and a schmuck (affecionate) and instamtly transforms into obnoxious asshole brother

Hes gonna be So Annoying

Hes gonna take up Ma's and Pa's attention. He's gonna leach off Clarks netflix. Hes gonna take Clarks old clothes and wear that shit /better/. 

Clark: "are those my old pants"

Kon: "not if they look better on me."

Clark had no idea what was coming for him

Kon juggling Clark midair with his ttk and clark just lets it happen bc he actually really cant do shit abt ttk unless kon decides to stop

Clark, unless in public, ecclusively addresses Kon as 'Kon-El' the name he gifted Kon bc i thought it was cute in the suoerboy comics that Clark remembered his bio fathers best friend/cousins name and gave it to kon that was sofft

Ultimately tho, they are family and care for each other. Brothers, clone and cloning template, parent and child, who guves a shit

I just want some soft superfam thanks

Chapter Text

I got into my fluffy romance feels after sobbing uncontrollably and wretchedly to Unknown/Nth for a ☆while☆

And i was like

But what if Kryptonians had these cute little dating rituals to let another individual know they were interested in initiating a romance

Like a lil courting BEFORE the dating happens and then a secondary courting for when they wanna do a binding or marriage ceremony

Now this knowledge should be lost

But that good ol Fortress of Solitude (FoS) got our backs bay-beeeee!!

Im pretty sure the FoS has like,,,,stored kryptonian knowledge or smthn idk

If not yall already know how i roll. If there is, great!!! If not and i can make bs up, amazing!!!

But moving on

I have a Thing about jewlery pieces if u have not yet noticed

Shiny shiny make autistic crow brain go 'bing'

And i also like flowers i have a less obvious Thing about flowers

Now what could we do? We add in ☆hair☆

Hairstyles are very fun, they add in a lot of dynamics and im not just saying this because i have spent my whole life with hair long enough to go past my bellybutton

So

Hair, jewelry, and flowers. How do you make a fun dating ritual outta that?

Id assume that this would be something baby kryptonians would learn when they were at a young age to normalize the concept in their child brains

The baby kryptonians would probably initiate vague or null attempts with friends or dolls in childhood to get a kind of practical idea for how this would happen. Like how little kids play house u know??

It would start with finding out some basic info like what their favourite flower was, either through casual asking the person themselves or if they wanna make it a surprise, ask friends or family. Theyd either tell the Courter if they decided theyd approve or turn them away

To continue from there: the initial courting to garner interest in dating

Like the first courting ritual is a very simplistic sort of cutesy 'hey im interested. are you?' kinda thing

The flower thing is relevant

To start the initial courting, the pre-dating one, the Courter would present the Courted an offer of their favourite flower, usually in private

The Courted would ask them to put the flower before their feet on the ground and leave

The Courter would leave and the Courted would pick up the flower

Then they would deliberate in private, either aaking friends/family/or just contemplating it on their own

This could take up to the equivalent from a week to a month

If the Courted decided they accepted, they would style their hair normally and then put the flower into their hair and approach their Courter with a small bracelet they made themselves out of perhaps string or beads with a small little metal charm, or maybe a reciprocal shiny hair pin

The Courter will bring their Courted a flower for about a period of a month while learning more and more about their Courted. Meanwhile the Courted will also learn about their Courter and if they decide to continue to engage with their Courter, they will craft a small piece of personalized jewelry for their Courter

At the end of the month long period, the Courter will bring a collection of their Courted's favourite flowers and if the Courted presents them with the piece of jewelry, the Courter will pin their Courted's hair up in a beautiful hair do decorated with the flowers.

After that, dating will commence as normal

If they do not present the acceptance jewelry, then the Courter will simply lay the flowers at their Courted's feet and back out. Life continues as per usual.

The secondary marriage courting would involve presenting the main family members with a small knick knack or little gift, except for the Family Elder

The Family Elder will be, through out the week, given a series of letters explaining their intentions, their commitment, and how they would be grateful to be accepted as a new part of the family

This goes both ways for the parties who want to get engaged

At the end of the week, the Elder will invite the individual to share a meal. If the Elder gives them a small token, the Elder has accepted. If the Elder returns the letter, the engagement courtship is not accepted. Now, ofc some engagement courtings have proceeded without the Elder's/family's acceptance but its nice when the acceptance happens

The to-be engaged parties will engage in hair grooming, where they will brush and pin up each other's hair and put each other's favourite pieces of jewelry in their hair

I.e.: one will take the other's favourite ring and loop a braid through it. The other will take the firsts favourite necklace and wind it around the base of a bun. 

They will also weave together small pieces of flowers and leave them at their windows/doors

It was very normal to carve out marriage bands in the form of matching rings, bracelets, hair ornaments out of wood in order for them to engrave something personal on to the piece

The proposal gifts would be presented at the same time if the proposal was reciprocated and afterwards a meal would be prepared for both families in one place to show off the engagement pieces

Lol i just had a lot of thoughts abt this it was fun :D

Chapter Text

So i like to believe kon has kryptonian powers AND ttk

Why?

Im gonna justify it to myself and say the time he spent in the kryptonian healing pod triggered it in his DNA coding and the ttk was always his bc Kon deserves an extra treat :D

So, on tge matter of ttk

What kon can do with his ttk its basically manipulating his own 'aura' of energy whuch he used to simulate kryptonian powers before they grew in

And kon could also extend his ttk to cover his friends/whoever he was touching

He could physically make someone stop moving just by keepimg contact with them

Who knows? Maybe if someone has a heart attack or their breathing gets obstructed, he can actually make their lungs push air in and out for them with his ttk

God thats so fucking cool

I really like how TTK is Kon's Thing that no other super really gets to have bc Kon is one of a kind <3

So what if,,,as Kon gets older,,,,his ttk just,,,grows?

Like he doesnt really notuce it in the titans era but the radius of his ttk's reach is expanding. 

He doesnt really notice till hes with the legion in the future and realizes a weapon that was 30 feet to far from him on the ground was suddenly heading towards him

Whatevers touching the ground, he realizes,,,is starting to get covered in his ttk's reach. 

Kon touches the ground and whatevers touching the ground just,,,is under his influence

Its kind of freaking him out honestly

Like

Why is it growing? Why is it expanding? Will it keep expanding?

He notices that a knife on the counter is moving around becase he has his foot at the base of the counter and the knife was touchimg the counter and his ttk grabbed it

The oranges in the basket on the table are getting peeled because his elbow touched the table and the basket was touching the oranges and the table at the same time as his elbow

Hes producing a sparking aura of ttk that makes it visibly in a sorta opaque way

He accidentally disarms every gun across an entire 6 block of Gotham 

Kon is freaking out because hes gettimg more powerful

Clark offhandedly comments that its so hard to break kons ttk 

Kon has the vague feeling that he might be able to stop someones heart or keep it pumping for them

I wanna wrute a fic explorimg this concept more ots so interesting

Kon finding out he can manipulate the auras of anything he comes in contact with and ehatever said object is currently touching

Just,,,OP as hell ttk its so fun

Chapter Text

Uuhhh, so

Ive already mentioned kryptonian biology a couple times right?

With how theyre super tan bc of the weird chlorophyll-esque components in their blood so they can process sunlight

And theur multiple rows of teeth

The ultraviolet absorption undertones in their hair/eyes

I bet they see in fuckign shrimp colors dude

OH MY GOD DO THEY SEE IN SHRIMP COLORS HELLO???

anYWAYS

Ive also vaguely mentioned in a few other of my oneshots that they have enlarged hearts/lungs plus extra heart valves, lung chambers, and just for fun, they can have a smaller second stomach too

Kryptonians aren't exactly,,,,human

I bet they require a few other nutrients not found in regular human foods

They sometimes eat grass bc even tho grass has no nutrition for humans its really good for Kryptonian's digestive systems

Eat metal for their bones u know?

Chew on wood for their teeth n shit

Its kind of interesting u know?

Like clark absentmindedly puts dimes in his mouth and chews them like hard candy

There was one JLA meeting where Bruce was just CLENCHING his jaw when clark just snapped a piece off the chair w/o paying attention and fuckign eating it

'WHY ARE YOU EATING THE CHAIR KAL WHY ARE YOU EATING IT WHAT IS THIS'- Bruce, as heard by Martian Manhunter, who went back to his apartment to meditate for 3 hrs (i think he canonically meditates by screaming💀) and downed a whole thing of Tylenol

Lois has heart palpitations when she saw 1 yr old baby Jon-El gnawing on a battery happily

Turns out battery acid is really good for baby kryptonians bowel movements

Cissie damn near losing her mind when Kon casually takes a broken off arrowhead and CRUNCHES that shit

Tim *autism creacher stare*: Can I have your teeth imprints

Kon, unsocialized: Sure ig u gonna use them for science?

Tim already going for the dental molding: y e s

Kon regularly eats grass on the farm, just plucks that shit up and starts chewing

Sometimes gnaws on random metal things when he feels any pressure on his gums, which makes a lot more sense once he ages into his final adult set of teeth

Ma is vividly reminded of clark growing up and is secretly relieved bc it IS a kryptonian thing she just thought she got lucky with clark not dying when he used an metal bowl as a teething object when he was a baby

Cassie wants to ask if Kon will eat lava

She HAS to know what lava tastes like

Kryotonians, much like lizards, like to lay down on hot rocks or hit tin roofs and sun themselves under pure sunlight

In the winter, clark likes to fly over to the sahara or gobi desert or somwhere or other eith no sun coverage and just toast 

He takes jon with him bc kryptonians tend to get 'sun sick' where they get exhausted and fatigued without sun

Kon sometimes joins but he has found that solar lamps/SAD lamps work out just as well for him although nothing beats natural sunlight

Kryptonians enjoy human food but sometimes they need that extra bit of /something/ for their system

If it just happens to be nickels and batteries and sometimes a spare dagger Diana brings around, well,,,

They aren't exactly terrestrial, are they?

Chapter Text

Ive said it before ill say it again: nothing is fucking funnier than the core 4 having severe beef with jason

Bonus: tim literally doesnt give a fuck

His ass has been through the wringer he is DONE giving a shit about all these murderous motherfuckers

Not like they can kill him either

Deadass how have mfs been failing to kill him since he started this vigilante bullshit

Assassins cant get tims ass to die 

So jason? Nah tim doesnt give a fuck

But the Core 4/YJ kids on a whole? NOPE

Kon is waiting, just WAITING for the day he can pick jason up and fucken drop his ass off at chernobyl or smthn

Bart is 5'3 120 pounds of fuck around and find out. You wanna fuck w his best friends? Hes gonna vibrate ur teeth out of ur skull and use that shit to decorate his hair clips

Cassie? Lasso the mf, shes gonna rodeo jasons ass and shed do it so fast

She gonna electrocute him/j

No but cassie increases the static in the air around them every time jason is in the room so he can never have okay hair (rip my curly haired jason im sorry lmfao)/he always get static shocks whenever he touches something

Its actually not Kon, the partial kryptonian with a full kryptonian powerset and a telekinetic power that literally melted down every gun in the enture LA area once (and its becoming less ttk and more just,,,tk which is,,,a lil scary yo think about actually) or the demigoddess daughter of Zeus that can summon lightning and has godly strength, training from Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, Diana of Themyscira, and Donna Troy aka Troia

Its bart

Bart, whos like 5'3 and 120 pounds (bart, greta, and tim being the shortest remaining members of YJ my beloved<33) hes got the big gold eyes and the bright smile and the big fluffy hair and he's a Certified Pretty Boy (thanks meloni thawne-allen ur so beautiful and ur barts mom) whose mom calls him sunshine

How can Bart POSSIBLY be the scariest?

Nobody suspects him

Barts a fucking genius, he sees everything and hes so incredibly competent, he breathes and eats theoretical physics

And bart KNOWS he can get his way with his Group Moms and Big Sister (sobbing over those couple of panels where Cassie calls Bart her little brother im gonna CRY FOREVER) 

Tim fricking LOVES bart. Barts kind of like his little brother, his science partner, his team member, one of his best friends, and an owner of a solid chunk of tims heart all rolled into one

And Bart is not above taking advantage of this in VERY specific ways

Bart can and will rock up to Jason, be like 'hey dude, jsyk youre still on thin ice so if u fuck tim up, im evaporating you :D'

And jason gets .2 seconds to process this before Bart is zipping off to grab a snack and lay right in tims lap to cuddle because u KNOW our speedster loves a good hug and a solid snuggle

Because Jason is pretty sure he could handle kon and cassie somehow but this small ass speedster that phases through mf walls? BYE. NO. HES LEAVING. Speedsters already fuck w time, and absolutely NOBODY would believe jason versus bart

Barts CLEARLY never done anything in his LIFE he still cant quite cook or anything wdym barts threatening?

Tim KNOWS barts dangerous but that doesnt register in the slightest to him 

Kon and Cassie are a whole other type of menace

Kon casually making jason swim through the air with no actual progress being made 

Kon realizes his ttk aura encases the entirety of Bristol plus some of the diamond district and Jasons in the cave while kon and tim are dropping by and suddenly for jason its just like 'alexa play Levitating'. Bc that mf starts levitating

Kon acts normal but hes still partially alien and jason has to hear kon tell tim very casually and affectionaetly "i like watching your diaphragm contract and expand the muscles and tissue are relaxing to watch" and his soul just leaves his body

WHO even says that shit, jason is leaving

Pls, cassie using her lasso to trip jason up ever so slightly

I know this sounds mean but honestly???? Their petty ass beef is HILARIOUS to me. Jason was beating the shit out of tim and tim still called him a bitchass. Tim tries to extend a hand by breaking into his safe houses in my AU and cass follows and terrorizes jason. Tim gets stabbed by jason and manages to trick jason into thinking hes dead, pulling one over on jason. Jason, after escaping gotham after the Battle of the Cowl and getting smacked around by Artemis and Bizzarro for a while during the time he disappeared and returned to Gotham, gets semi nudged into  a coworkers relationship with tim after Tim tells him that he thinks jason is a lameass and he doenst give a fuck about Jason trying to kill him. Jason expects to maintain apathy only to get punched with older brother allegations. The older brother allegations are winning hes becoming FOND of cass and tim. And now Jason has a one sided beef with these teenagers hes never spoken to directly before this but they wanna fucken beat his ass. Its INCREDIBLE. 

But the worst, absolute WORST bit?

No matter what 

No matter how

No matter when or why

Kon Bart and Cassie will always, ALWAYS be able to take Jason out with a perfectly placed 'deez nuts' joke

Sugma, sugondese, ligma, bofa, the classic deez, a 'wendy's', you name it, theyve absolutely pulled it on Jason

Kon: "It looks like this is written on sugondese."

Tim in the bg: *inhales quietly because no /fucking/ way*

Cassie: *leans forward a lil*

Bart, immediately: really, i was thinking it was in sugma

Tim: *no FUCKING way*

Jason, squinting: whats sugma and sugondese ive never heard that shit

Bart and Kon, immediately wheezing: SUGMA/SUGONDESE- 

Separate incident:

Cassie: looks like the power is in Ligma

Tim, almost punching himself in the face to keep from laughing:

Jason: what's ligma

Cassie, so excited she fritzes out the power slightly with her lightning powers: LIGMA-

Jason, despite being friends with Roy, falls for it every. single. time. 

I think it's beautiful

Chapter Text

I like how sometimes shiva pulls up on tim and is like "hey kid lost ur morals yet" and tim is like "absolutely not go away"

Her and cass's relationship is so fraught with emotions and complexities and mom-daughter trauma 

Cass and Tim have the very individual experience of learning under both bruce and shiva, altho they diverge where tim was also primarily taught by dick while cass was taught primarily by babs

Not to mention tims manhunting bullshit learning  with ducard that gets touched upon slightly and picking up on how to fight with king snake when they were kickimg each others asses, king snake doing a bit more kicking but still losing bc tims a punk bitch who ultimately resorts to trickery and treachery to win

Ofc theres more nuance and shit here but im here for comedic purposes 

I just think itd be real fucking funny if Shiva shows up in Gotham on occasion to be like "hey batman, lemme see my fuckign kids i wanna take them on a road trip where we beat each others asses"

And bruce is like "ok cass is one but what the fuck does she want jason?? Damian, maybe??? Why?? Did they run into her when they were with Talia???"

P sure there was this thing in the jason era robin comics where they thought shiva was jasons mom and bruce asked her if sge had a son and shiva was like "i dont have kids mf"

She technically was correct as she had no custody of cass and cass also did not exist at that point

But now Bruce is considering if Shiva lied to him what if jason is shivas son (sorry bruce hes actually talia's not that u or damian know that talia decided she really liked jason and decided to dub him her kid as well) [also yes i think i said this once but jason and talia never fucked that was a weird plot point and im ignoring it bc Talia being jasons mom is ultimately far more funny]

Tim pulls up immediately like "i got a cat i cant go with u :/"

Shiva "bring ur cat u little gay fuck, lets go and get that little blond bitch"

(She wants to go get connor hawke)

Bruce "..."

Tim "??? Fuck you too???"

Shiva "Cass get ur brother and his cat lets go"

Cass "Whats in it for me? What if i got stuff to do?"

Bruce isnt particularly sure WHEN shiva decided that tim is also her's but wtf 

Shiva "You can try and kick my ass free for all"

Cass "im in"

Cass is actually completely unbothered by shiva deciding tim is her kid too bc Tim was already her brother anyways and they can tag team shiva to keep her from spontaneous murder and in ass kicking bc guess what shiva!! Cass /can/ do teams, fuck off

Tim just wants to text helena hes being abducted for a bit by shiva to do some spontaneous asskicking so they can rearrange their movie marathon

Bruce "Shiva when tf did /both/ of them become your kids"

Shiva kinda follows the school of possession

Shiva /made/ Cass. With her body. And her genes. 

Shiva made Tim through training and challenges and lessons 

Theyre /both/ hers, in a way a weapon might be someones

Not very healthy but this is shiva so

Shiva "are you saying their not mine you batty bitch?"

They look very funny, shiva with her long glossy hair and her long ass talon nails with cass, who actually looks quite a bit like her but with short nails completely cut to the nubs and this pasty blue eyed bastard and shivas only taller than both of them by like 2 inches 

Idk the comedic potential is THERE 

Also, yall, what if,,, mayhaps,,,what if wlw/mlm cass-tim solidarity👀👀 

Shiva and her two queer/questioning kids

Chapter Text

Bet, Tim gets asked who the coolest antihero in gotham is

The obvious answer? Huntress

Tim thinks Helena is the bee's fricken knees. He thinks she's one of the COOLEST cats on the corner, he thinks that Helena rocks. 

Helena is a competent, experienced antihero, shes a school teacher who does her best to work with and support for the kids under her care, Helena gets a custom set of crescent moon earrings themed after her Huntress costume and Tim makes them a matching set so he can also wear the Huntress earrings 

Helena is just,,,elevated in Tim's eyes. She's always talked to Tim not like a kid but like a young vigilante with struggles and Tim reciprocated back by accepting her assertion of authority when she wasn't gonna,,like,,,,kill someone. He respects her morals and how she operates and thinks that she wouldnt murder someone and get caught, she would get away with it bc helena is intelligent and capable and resourceful. Helena got Duckling'd by a 14 yr old Tim and she just rolled with it. This little bastard is at the window when shes abt to make out w Vic? Alr kid, theres chips under the counter. He drops Back to the Future refs that playfully imply shes a bit on the older side? Drop them right back n make sure she straight up says she see him as a fetus. 

I like to think after the traumatic, depression filled BruceQuest when tim finds his way back to Gotham, helena pulls a Tim on tim (mostly. She doenst break into his apartment like he did so many times with her) and comes a knocking at his window and asks where hes been and how hes doing. Tim,,,doesnt say much. He kinda just,,,slumps in to her and stays very quiet and very still for a long long time. Shes still wearing her favourite perfume, and Tim is glad bc he always liked it. Its kinda grounding him atm.

Tim starts doing tri-monthly hangouts with Helena, as often as he can make them. Helena lets it happened bc 1) she missed this ridiculous dweeb 2) shes fuckign concerned 3) if he was her little brother like the one she lost so long ago,,,shed do the same thing shes doing rn. 

Tim keeps bringing her boxes of granola bars. 

Helena -Tim team ups!! He wants to watch her kick ass live again. Helena thinks tim might fight a little more different. Hes definitely more hard hitting now,,,shes not sure how to feel abt it

Tim sends her photos of Dex CONSTANTLY annoying lil brother behavior fr

Tim gets his lil fingies into her car bc he's been wanting to do that for AGES and helena is just like 'better put that shit back together i got work in the morning' 

Helena has a personal fanboy, its Tim, he keeps custom ordering subtly Huntress themed stuff and sending her pictures of the high tops he paid someone to paint with her cross mark and crescent moon shapes. Helena is both annoyed (dammit stinky stop texting me during class) and endeared (awww u think im cool)

Tim associates a very specific shade of purple with Helena/Huntress, it's his second favourite color after nightwing blue. 

"She doesnt need to run a crime empire to be a cool antihero, Jason, of course I think she's cooler"

The YJ kids, on principle, like Tim's other older sister. YJ kids rarely have beef with members of Tim's Older Sister Club

Tim: "My older sister"

Cass, appearing at their team up: "Our older sister"

That one Cass-Tim-Helena team up where tim and cass had the take down bad guys competition was so cute i- :holds gently:

Helena staring blankly at her wall "Theyve /multiplied/"

"No, batman, theyre mine tonight goodbye"

Helena still doesnt,,,,particularly get along with the BatFam.

I think if she started beef with Jason itd be funny bc 1) she'd win and 2) she'd win.

Helena lets Tim mess with her hair 

Tim lets Helena mess with his hair 

(I like tim growing his hair out. Nu52/Flashpoint/Reboot r cowards for taking his long hair away. Oh u dont want him to rock a bisexual bobcut? Fuck off, im making his Depression Era shag grow to a healthy, trimmed, mid shoulder blade length as part of his Recovering and Caring Era and hes gonna love it. Is it advisable for vigilante activities? No but a bunch of superheroes get away w having long hair so :/)

Idk i like the thought of tim just reconnecting with old allies/friends/older sibling adjacents he had in Gotham bc tim was really active in the vigilante scene. He has friends EVERYWHERE. He has more friends than jason, damian, steph, bruce, babs, and cass combined in New Earth. Tim was THE team up guy. Part of his depression era was attempted self isolation, he just failed at isolating himself. He and Dick were the popular kids, literally. 

Tim should get his pseudo older sister Helena back, he's so "younger brother with an older sister" coded he needs to go be obnoxiously endearing to her

Chapter Text

Kon's Bat opinions

As someone who is actually pretty close to the Bats as 1) one of Tim's best friends 2) part of the superfam 3) has unique insider and outsider persepective Kon has some very insistent opinions on the Bats

• Alfred

This guy is old but spry and its generally impressive how fast he moves

His cookies fuck severely

Still dubious of him tho on Tim's behalf

Vividly remembers the Birthday Thing

He's friends with Ma and Pa tho and Kon is very sure that his ma and pa will put any nonsense in check really quick

Kon will help haul the heavier stuff for Alfred when he's over bc he can /see/ what load bearing does to weaker human bones/joints

Will not get into a Pie Debate between Alfred and Ma, fuck that, Kon WILL move to anarctica till the debate blows over

Delivers fresh food from the farm/smallville that alfred ordered

Ma gave him Manners (tm) is highly aware of the manor's fresh floors and always takes his shoes off when he comes in

If kon is over with Tim, kon will wander off to help with the chores. Ttk is very helpful with chores apparently. 

Alfred sometimes will pull kon off to the side and thank him for caring so much about tim

Kon thinks alfred is dryly hilarious sometimes

Overall score for alfred: 7/10

• Dick

Okay kon thinks dick is pretty cool not even bc they interact but bc tims literally the biggest dick grayson/nightwing stan ever

If you think youre the biggest dick grayson fan, remember: New Earth Tim Drake is out there and he's beating you at your game easily

Kon unironically likes the Discowing i won't stray from this hill

Also thought Dick rocked the long hair/mullet/ponytail

The fingerstripes are pretty awesome too

Tim defended dicks decisions after laying it all out to air out some of his grievances and kon was like 'hmm :| okay if ur sure'

Altho he does think Nightwing's Booty Hype is overrated,,,

Kon: "His ass isnt that great guys its just an ass"

Kon: *immediately gets shot by cissie*

Idk maybe its just the inherent weirdness of thirsting over ur best friends older brother

Anyways, Kon admires that Dick is a really strong, good leader and friend and that he cares so much for tim even if hes fumbled some stuff, dick genuinely does love tim so fucking much

Overall score for dick: 9/10

• Damian

"This is a child but also a demon"

Kon, after having spent time around jon, is very Aware that damian is only a couple years older and that is a Whole Child

Genuinely cant take damian seriously,,,,that's like,,a 6th grader guys,,,never met a teenager able to take a 6th grader seriously

If he tries to stab/hit/kick Tim, kon will just,,,harmlessly float him,,,which is quite possibly the most infuriating thing kon could ever do to damian,,, put that kid in airjail fr

"Champ"

Kon genuinely doesnt mean to be patronzing but damian gets kiddie nicknamed like sit down lol u still have baby teeth

Although if kon IS obnoxious thats just a bonus for kon 

Still not robin, thats a kid in a red costume :/ kon doesnt think damian is a robin at all, thats literally just a kid vigilante ex-assassin

Overall score for damian: 4/10

• Bruce

him

kon has beef with bruce

Thinks bruce has fucked tim up a lot

But is also aware that bruce does care for tim a lot as his child, bruce just fucks things up and has poor communication skills

Thinks bruce needs a therapeutic month on the farm and to bond to a cow or a horse or a sheep of some sort. Maybe he will get Bruce a goat.

Has the hilarious dynamic of being the brother-son of bruce's best friend and the best friend of bruces son who ALSO dated bruce's only daughter for like 15 minutes before they both realized they wanted friendship

Tbh will flirt with cass for the bit its funny to the both of them and he can hear bruces blood pressure actively skyrocket

If you think kon is scared of this man in a bat suit ur wrong

Kon is the most punkass irreverant mf bruce has ever been introduced to

You cant be friends with two of his kids and just not hear about what a fuckign,,dad-guy that bruce is at his core under his layers of bat cloaks and trauma and communication issues 

Sorry "kon is scared of batman" is out for me, "kon thinks bruce is literally just a dude" is in

If given the chance, kon would set a bat cape on fire, partially for the grudge partially for the comedic value

If bruce ever does the birthday shit/ulysses shit/ help fake death of a loved one again, kons actively stealing tim

Overall score for bruce: 5/10

• Jason

HIM 

Kon cassie and bart helped scrape tims blood off the titan's tower

They wouldnt let anyone else do it

This was personal

If jason breathes wrong once, kon's stomping him with his Demonia gravedigger boots

"His leather jackets trashy"

"You wear a-"

"His is brown and its clearly cheap quality he got from a dumpster so he can easily replace them, my first one was a gift from the Newsboy Legion who rescued me from the CADMUS tube, and my more recent ones come in sexy dark red or matte black, they have shiny pikes or classy pockets for a granola bar and are ethically sourced vegan leather made from biodegradable material"

100% grass fed grade a BEEF resting squarely in jason's grill forever

Ive already said a lot on the subject but it's still endlessly hilarious to me

Completely unintimidated by jason

"Mf looks like a skunk"

Overall score for jason: 1/10

• Cass

Kicks ASS

Cooler than Kon will ever be and hes accepted that

Likes his chicken coop updates

Likes krypto pictures

Willingly learned to shoot milk from her tear ducts after kon mentioned he could do that (he can do this in canon btw kon mentioned this to impress her, cass was not impressed)

"Is this a normal thing?"

*shrugs*

Learned that talking hurts her vocal chords (another reason i write asl cass, i bet after not being verbal for years, her vocal chords are still getting used to usage, it must fucking hurt. I got my vocal chords hurt once after getting kicked in the throat and i couldnt use them for a couple weeks. I tried to use them immediately after actually healing up and it hurt so mf much to talk, i had to slowly start to use my vocal chords over a period of like a month) and buys her pink and yellow sticky notes to use to leave notes

(Just had a sad thought,,,what if david cain would sometimes hurt cass's vocal cords to make sure she had no chance of picking up on verbal ability to keep her mind physically centered)

I think their friendship could have been so cute

Hc that trying to make herself go on a date with kon made her realize that she might not necessarily feel attraction to guys :)

Is in Tim's Older Sister Club, no beef with Tim's Older Sister club

Is really good to train with 

Have a mutual understanding about being used and controlled for the benefit of other people and wanting independence 

Overall score for Cass: 10/10

• Tim

:)

Theyve always genuinely respected each other and have been curious about each other (looks lovingly at WF3: Superboy/Robin) 

Still didn't keep them from doing the 'pulling pigtails' era of early yj

Did you know in canon tim gave kon the batcave number? Like, genuinely. I cant find the issue number but kon disappeared and i believe roxy leech pulled up the number and called the fuckign BATCAVE

The match thing kinda screwed with everyone but tim immediately started brainstorming with cassie and bart and greta about codes they could use to make sure this doesnt happen ever again and kon just,,,"oh. U all care. U all wanna make sure that i dont feel ignored and repleacable."

"Do you think i have a soul?"

"Yes."

There's something about how tim immediately replied that of course kon has a soul and never doubted otherwise that makes kon feel so,,,settled,,,that someone who cares for him and knows him is so staunch abt the fact that ofc Kon has a soul, there was never any doubt

"As far as I'm concerned, you're my Robin, always will be."

"And you'll always be my Robin."

I hope they fucking explode in a microwave they make me vilely ill

Kon listens for when tim does the dishes bc that's when tim hums the must and he likes it

Tim always has clothes/shoes/space for kon 

Kon doesnt rlly know how to explain it,,,but the cloning thing was a little sweet to him

Like,,,someone wanted and needed and cared about him so bad that they committed human atrocities to try and just bring a little bit of him back (he also feels much the same abt the cult of kon thing)

Yeah it was fucked and inherently mentally ill but,,,,someone loves kon so much, not superboy, but just kon,,,big thoughts abt that

Tim is perfect size to tuck under the chin for a snuggle :)

One of kons first and foremost anchors

A little bastard, horrible gremlin, awful munchkin boy

,,,,hes so cute tho

Evil Mad Scientist

Should also be sent to Air Jail *sends tim to ttk Air Jail*

,,,but his eyes are so pretty,,,,,

Tim needs to get outta his head, hes gonna spiral

Every time he makes tim laugh is a win

Tim makes kon so goddamn happy and like he belongs and is cared for and its exactly what kon deserves

Overall score for Tim: unscoreable

Chapter Text

BatDad is attempting to Dad. He genuinely wants to actively try and be around his kids more and wants to spend more time around them. He lets each one pick an activity they like for ALL of them to go to. They cant complain, grump, or spit on the chosen activity. 

• Dick

Immediately starts setting up the upstairs gym with a radio full of funky, poppy music and the aerial silks, rings, uneven bars, the beam, mats, and trapezes. Its a gymnastics-acrobatics palooza

Hes gonna make gymnastucs everyones problem today

Bruce has absolutely zero (0) control so Dick gets to send him to The Corner everytime he tries and takes over the Fun Gymnastics Day

Dick and Cass doing an aerial silk performance👀👀

Everyones a lil surprised that theyre not doing something social/outside

But dick likes his Only Us Time as well

Mostly in case he and bruce have to go somewhere alone so they can have one of their bitch matches💀

I think sometimes dick's a lil more introverted than he comes across altho u couldnt tell since hes got quite a large number of allies/friends and is as good of an active leader that he is

He does get a lil sad bc jason isnt as flexible as he used to be when jason was robin although thats probably to be expected since jasons built like a fridge

Dick gets to throw tim around which is immensely fun for both of them actually

Cass and Tim both know some of his trapeze routines 

Cass is an amazing trapeze partner for both tim and dick, some of her moves are truly spectacular

Tim is by no means a Dick or Cass level protege but hes also pretty good at it after his long pre-robin and post-robin training periods

Idk why but it makes me ~vaguely~ annoyed when i see 'Tims inflexible cant touch his toes lol' jokes and ik theyre just jokes but theres also literal panels of him doing the splits and high kicks and the New Earth wiki states hes more flexible than jason but im also a very nitpicky, literal person IGNORE ME

Dick razzes on Bruce for his old man joints 

Bruce: You do remember that I broke my back, right?

Dick, still (canonically in New Earth) petty about Azrael Bats a good few years later: yah, and you made an asshole Batman, now touch ur toes, squidward

Jason gets stuck on an aerial hoop and almost snaps it from the ceiling💀

Theres an endless stream of 80s pop music and the occasional Circus Theme jumpscare in the background and its lowkey driving bruce insane

Dick and Cass tossing tim between them (the net below is very secure, dick triple checked)

Bruce does a series of 10 cartwheels around the room at the end with the most stoic face possible and NOBODY will ever believe it happened

• Jason

He says he really doesnt wanna fucking do this

But theres also a chance to be as obnoxious as possible to Bruce as possible

What does he do?

Asks bruce to rent out one of those places that teaches ppl how to cook and makes them all attempt to make pizza from scratch

Its fucken horrible

Bruce burns his sauce bc he looked away for too long

Cass is eating her block of cheese under the table contently (she uses tims cheese for the pizza that she also burns in the middle and leaves raw on the outside and also set fire to)

Theres a reason theure both banned from the kitchen

Bruce makes the most mournful stoic face on the planet and Babs over the cameras gets it recorded for posterity

Dick keeps WALKING AWAY FROM HIS STATION STAY AND WATCH YOUR FOOD 

Dick isn't that bad but he put fucking pineapple and andoille on it

Both of those things sound like a crime on a pizza

Tim's pizza is good but its cheeseless, it has artichoke hearts on it with onions and fake-on (fake bacon which is actually really good and plant based. My fam and i eat halal and we dont eat pork/pig meat bc it haram so my family buys plant based stuff like this a lot)

Tims basically committing multiple sins in front of god and everyone and hes not even being purposefully chaotic about it, thats just tims favourite pizza which is the most bonkers thing someone could have come up with

Cass has put so much cheese on her pizza jason might be developing lactose intolerance looking at it

Shes also puttimg anchovies, broccoli, and pepperoni on it 

Idk i feel like cass should also have a bonkers pizza order and i put together anchovies broccoli and pepperoni with extra extra cheese for her

Damian is the one who makes a normal ass cheese pizza but he has not used a stove before and accidentally heats it up to 475 degrees and burns it to a goddamn crisp so fast

Technically tim and dick have edible pizzas but nobody would EVER eat that,,,,besides them and cass

None of those three actively have regular taste buds

• Damian

The entire local art museum gets rented out

Why? Damian is 1) 11 years old 2) has Wayne genetics 3) has Al Ghul genetics. Extra and Dramatic was never not in the equation

He also kinda doesnt wanna be around regular ass people when hes looking at art, he just wants to not hear people fucken mouth breathing so loud

Amusingly, over half of these items are fakes

Why? Jason-era robin and batman busted some art smugglers and got a bunch of art returned to their original countries/places of belonging

Local artists were hired to remake the ogs with some stunning accuracy and some blatantly hilarious and obvious differences

Theres an enture section dedicated to renaisance era inspired cat paintings

This section has never been touched by Catwoman and if any rogue dares to try anything, she IS hurting them SEVERELY

Damian actually quite enjoys his time there

He has no clue but tims been bringing his camera everywhere to these activities of choice and tim takes a surprising amounts of damian pictures because damian really does like art, and hes out of any firm of violent expression and its very curious to tim to see the hobgoblin so quietly at peace

Damian gets a lot of pictures of him looking placid taken of him in the cat art section

Dick and cass do statue re-enactments where bruce can visibly see him

Tim keeps takimg pictures of the security cams babs is watching through so its a very "and i look at him, and he looks at me" kinda moment

Jason is 'haunting' the security guards but otherwise enjoying the art quietly as well

• Cass

:)))

Its ballet time

The upstairs gym is now a ballet studio

Cass is in charge now :)

Ballet Madame Cass at ur service :)

Cass is in her whole ballet outfut, pointe shoes and everything

Do yall think pointe shoes dont even hurt her bc of all the bullshit training she had to go through :(

She just wants to teach them to do a piroette nothing fancy 

Spoiler: it fucking sucks physically

Cass makes them do ballet warm ups which,,,lmfao bestie absolutely not 

Respect to ballet dancers, theyre on some next level shit that genuinely should not be physically possible

Dick isnt too bothered his joints are fully gelatin

Bruce's back pops somewhere he wasnt sure it could pop

But cass also does a full performance with tim playing on the piano for her at the end just for her family so it really was worth it all

• Tim

Surprise, Tim makes them go,,,,outside

Around people

this ones a shocker because Tim??? And people???

Return of the skateboard

Not the redboard 2.0 but just his regular ass skateboard

Bruce is having an internal aneurysm at the skate park bc NOBODY is wearing helmets or elbow/knee pads, someones skating with gum in their mouth, someone wiped out, that kid just did a handstand, theres three different songs playing at once, and there is an UNSUPERVISED 5 YEAR OLD WITH A SKATEBOARD

But,,,,,all these teens,,,know each other? They call the little kids 'grommet' and the kid who wiped out pops right back up with a grin and laughs with everyone else and gets right back up the half pipe, kids are yelling song suggestions happily, the gumball bag is getting shared, and all the coolest tricks get hyped by the other skaters

Its just a gaggle of punk-grunge (queer) kids who like skating 

Tim is already chatting with a small clod of other kids with rollerskates, skateboards, and roller blades about concerts under the monorail

Cass is lacing up her rollerskates and shes kinda down to go because everyones genuinely having a good time and Vibing and having fun and excitement and she can Tell

Bruce kinda just watches bc hes already got bad knees without the skateboarding but now hes thinking about skateboarding in the Manor,,,no,,,he shan't,,,,👀

I think jason should step on a skateboard and almost immediately eat shit,,,i say this with love,,,,

Thinking abt that time dick followed tim skateboarding down the street on his motorcycle and was like 'damn i feel old watching this kid, wonder how bruce feels' ajsjjsjsks i wish i could remember the comic

Dick in rollerskates, just cruising around,,,,or possibky falling flat on his face simply for the comedy

Damian's more interested in the local graffiti which Bruce is Totally Not Seeing, Nuh Uh

Tim is considering introducing Star to Callie,,,👀👀 should he?? 

Star and Tim vibing around the park as they race each other and she kicks his ass at the race

Still, everyone cannot BELIEVE tim broke the streak and took them out to SOCIALIZE

(Socializing is tim's contingency from falling into his Intrusive Isolation Thoughts about becoming chaotic-chaotic instead of chaotic-lawful. He also likes people observing.)

Chapter Text

Ive always liked the hc that tim was closer to janet than jack

And that he looks like janet instead of jack

Its always commented on even when tims a lil baby timmy

"Oh hes janets son alright"

"Looks just like janet"

"Janets child for sure."

"He looks exactly like his mother!"

It kinda wrankles on jacks mood tbh 

Like, itd be nice if he just heard 'he looks just like his old man' just once

Logically he knows yeah janets got strong genes and tim takes after janet but jacks always given the vibe of "i want a son just like me" and well,,he got the son part

When i was at the hospital when my baby sister was born i deadass heard "hes 3 weeks and a half early cant you just hold it for a little longer" followed by THE loudest silence of my life and i watched a woman, her water breaking, frog march some guy out to the waiting room and shove him into the seat and waddle back in and she genuinely looked so regal. Jack and Janet vibes??👀

Jack steps up to janets place in the company while shes on maternity leave and it kind of cuts off that parent-child bond development 

Thinking abt that panel in robin 1993 where tims like "My dad was never one for the dad thing" while jack takes him on,,,like,,a 'bonding trip' that also doubkes as a business trip and jack spends most of the time with,,,,yep,,,,business. Tim wore a cute pink shirt tho so :shrugs: i love when ppl where pink, cute shit yall keep it up (genuine)

But jack definitely is one of Those Parents who have a very specific of what their Boy/Girl Child will be like (sweats in traditionally raised Latina)

Janets more concerned if she will have a malleable model of a child like herself which is also,,,,yeah,,,but it would go either way if tim was a tim or not a tim

So one parent is sort of able to connect wuth their child and the other isnt

Janet tells tim all her little secrets, mostly because who will believe a baby? But also because hes /her/ son and /her/ child. If anyone can keep a secret, its Janet Drakes child. Spoonfeeding your little baby secrets about Things That You Do has surprise effects on infant---> creates insane person

Baby Tim loves his mom! Shes not there a lot but she talks to him when she is! And she tells him things she doesnt tell his dad! He loves her! 

Tims first lesson is how to keep a secret

Tim loves his mom so much he wants to be exactly like her when he gets older. Shes beautiful and clever and she is so tricky and keen. She tells him her secrets she gathers and keeps and steals and makes a game if it. She likes music and tells him to learn for her so he does because she loves music and tim loves his mom. And tim also loves music too actually. Tim learns all knids of things for his mom and he even enjoys his lessons, if not bc they make his mother proud then because hes learned a skill to use and use it he shall. If tim didn't sneak, would he even be his mother's son?

Tim...has a dad. They dont talk a lot. His dad smokes big fancy cugars by the fire place with the news paper and checks the sports section a lot and mentions sports that tim finds much more boring than the front page occult murders in Downtown Gotham. They dont seem to click just right and his dad said to put tim in his first boarding school that tim hated and wont even sound interested when tim mentions something he enjoys. Jack is Jack and Tim is Tim and they click like a magent and a piece of wood. Aka not at all. 

And Jack has no clue what hes doimg wrong! Shouldnt dads and sons connect? Shouldnt there be some natural comradery? 

Jack and Janet fight a lot. A lot of it is about Tim and whatever it is that Janet is teaching him

Some of it isnt too bad, like how to make her familys blackberry tea 

But tim was 4 when he almost fed jack belladonna berries after janet showed him how to harvest them safely/how to manage them properly/the danger and care of them and to not consume them and also proceeded to tell tim the story of how her mother, an apothercarian by hobby, slowly poisoned her father using a similar method to Giulia Tofana except she couldnt get the mix right bc the aqua tofana measurements are lost so instead of 3-5days it took her a year (i really like aqua tofana's history)

Janet calls Tim a little snake, a little viper, just like her. She thinks its a bit funny how he took her lessons

Jack,,,,doesnt quite share the sentiment

They kinda start to fight more. And leave more. 

Tim never really looked up to his father. He cares about him, sure, even loves him but he never knew him

So when the drake parents werent globe trotting for their careers? It was Janet and Janet's son..and Jack. 

Lol im tired idk how else to explain it but basically, tims always been able to relate to his mother more. When she left, it was to let Tim learn something, a skill to use and understand and make him better and more accomplished and more able to fend for himself in the world (not that it made that right). When jack left, it was bc he just didnt care to try and parent. 

Chapter Text

I was thinking before i went to sleep which is a generally awful idea

Deaging beam but it hits only bruce and tim and they get deaged back to when tim was 13 and just starting as robin

And dick is immediately like "no no all of you better hide rn"

And he sounds so urgent it freaks everyone out

Because this Bruce is the hurt-from-loss Bruce that tried to kill the joker but couldnt bc and this happened in the fucking comics, joker became an ambassador (as someone whose stepparent and half siblings are in fact middle eastern the misrepresentation was....yee. physically cant read death in the family and the connected bits) and superman had to stop bruce from causing an international incident. 

So yeah, this is 13 yr old Tims deal bc Dick didnt hang around bc theyd start swinging fists n shit and spitting in each others faces and things are only slightly marginally better nowadays

(Dick also might want to squish baby tim into the biggest hug ever,,,god christ he was so Small)

So you have tiny 13 yr old tim, who comes up to Dick's elbow (sobs as i reread Lonely Place of Dying and sees infinitely tiny tim he is one (1) apple high) and this absolutely drowned, beaten, sweaty sweaty man in the depths of depression

Dick has the other Batkids in the secret tunnels all around, watching.

Dick: "He can't see any of us. At all. Only Tim and Alfred."

Damian makes his protests abt handling bruce but ultimately ends up agreeing bc this version of Bruce lowkey is tripping him out

Jasons kinda stunned bc,,,,what is this? Thats not Bruce? That cant be Bruce? But it is

Cass watches, observes, and she feels confused because that is not the Bruce who stood as a symbol of justice for those wronged, a dark knight against evil she had met in No Mans Land. This is,,,,a shell. Empty and hollow and wanting death

Conclusively, this is a weird fucking bruce

Now TIM is even weirder

Tim is, like i said, one (1) apple high. He's 13, he's voluntarily a grown man dressed as a bat's emotional support child, and he's willingly giving up his youth to keep not just Batman the person alive, but Batman the idea alive. 

And he wont even be robin for a full year more

Bc remember how tim had that 1 yr long training period?? Thats also during the time i think bride of the demon takes place btw just for reference

Tim is pushing, shoving, demanding, and yanking Bruce up the stairs, marching him over to the couch and making bruce lay down

13 yr old tim is the most emotionally supportive bully bruce has ever encountered

They talk

Or well, bruce mumbles incoherently while tim just chatters, just talks abt anything till something catches bruce's attention

He makes bruce go take a depression shower (just laying fully clothed under the shlwerhead and pouring shampoo + conditioner into one hand, mix it up and slather that shit on your hair and into your scalp) he makes bruce change after pulling out a super soaker filled with lemonade and aiming for the nostrils and eyes with that shit, he makes bruce take naps and eat something and drink something

Tim lets bruce mourn and sob and rage and mostly manages to calm him through the angst of it all

And the whole time? Tim isnt showing any sign of 'god fuck shut up' or 'just get over it'. Its just 'i know. I dont understand but i know.' 

Its rotten work to tim, but its worth it.

It would be such a mind fuck for everyone who wasnt there. And even alfred and dick would be a bit screwed bc tim was 13, and could they imagine any of them doing this? Like, this really, genuinely happened? Yeah. It did. Tim kept bruce alive

Womder of that would be like a switch turning on? Like, ofc tim never believed bruce died, he already kept bruce from dying once. Ofc tim would know what a dying/wanting to die bruce would look like and tim worked hard to never see a dead bruce so he had to be alive. 

Of course tim saved bruce from the time stream. He already did it before. 

When they get reversed, its like whiplash bc tim and bruce just go back to business with tim sailing out of the manor independently and bruce making awkward attempts at parenthood

And a lot of things make a bit more sense

Idk this would be such a fucking concept to write 

Chapter Text

Ah yes a taste of established timkon fluff absolutely based on my kryptonian courting traditions chapter in Bat Bits (yes i think that title is hilarious and its one of my fav things ive ever come up with)

Anways, this is definitely after ~unspecified~ one shot where tim n kon talk about how they feel about each other in a non platonic manner and neither of these hooligans are subtle

Like at all

Theyre giddy, theyre silly, theyre kinda just two lame morons in love and i wanna smother them with a pillow

Kons already approached tim with the whole kryptomian courting part and are engaging in the first part.

Tims been wearing forget me nots in his hair more recently

Kons been growing flowers outside his window 

Clark actually notices first bc i dont think bruce should notice anything implicitly romantic ever. Its his mega blind spot unless hes involved in a case of murder of suspected crime of passion. 

But anyways clark notices that ever since he started teaching kon more abt kryptonian culture, kons been REALLY into flower gardening?? And forget me nots specifically?

Clark initially worries that kons upset that he doesnt know anything about krypton from first hand experience and goes through the multigenerational immigrant worries (<-is projecting again)

Like

Clark: is he worrying abt forgetting whatever he learns abt krypton? Is he worried that he wont remember any of the lessons in Kryptonian weve been giving him? Is he trying to symbolise this through communicating in flowers?

So we get some very nice clark n kon moments :) and maybe these ARE genuine worries kons been thinking abt but hes also super excited abt engaging in some more traditional cultural customs!! Its fun!! Its making him feel more connected!! Maybe he'll put a Terran spin on them!! Maybe i will project more multigenerational feels on to Kon bc i feel like it!!

Anyways clark goes to bruce bc bruce is a freak who took notes on kryptonian bc he wanted to talk shit with clark in the middle of JL meetings without guy gardener noticing. 

Clark: hey bruce can i pls borrow the notes on kryptonian so kon can learn it a bit easier :)

Thats exactly the moment tim walks in, hair in a half up half down bun with a sprig of lil forget me nots tucked behind his ear

Tims just getting in from work, he's got some reports that hes gonna drop off to bruce at his home office, and then hes gonna go

And tim is very much Smiling. How can he keep himself from smiling! Hes just,,,so fucking excited abt this whole thing with him and Kon 

So, tims smiling. Hes,,,,got flowers in his hair,,,and these are the same type of flowers kons been growing,,,

And clark 'Midwestern Gossip' kent clocks that shit IMMEDIATELY

Clark: "Hey tim, those are very nice flowers"

Tim: "thanks theyre my favourite :)"

Bruce hears THAT and writes it down in some lil bat notebook. Batnotes. Like "tims favourite flower: forget me nots."

Mans got tunnel hearing if his child says that they like smthn 

Clark tho, who also explained the courting thing to lois just before he proposed to her, just,,,his ears are BURNING bc,  kon DID learn abt this and Clark knows how the flowers relate to this,,,,his Nosey Super Midwestern Gossip Aunt instincts are on fucking fire. 

He goes back to the Lane Kent farm and notices that kon has a new bracelet. Its red and black and blue beads on yellow string with a little metal infinity shaped charm on it. Theres also flowers missing from his patch under his window and kons acting even goofier than normal

And clark is connecting the dots

Clark: ive connected the dots!

Bruce, in denial abt his kids growing up because what do you mean Tim is almost 17, tim is like,,,14: you haven't connected shit

Clark, nosey but also excited: ive connected them!

They start investigating

Cue nosey! Clark and nosey! Bruce poking their noses around, subtly asking diana if cassie has said anything or barry or wally

Diana who HAS heard the Tea from cassie but not abt to tell these two: she has said nothing i can tell you (not a lie)

Wally: cain instinct too strong :/ bart and i were too busy slapping each other at light speed

Barry: bart doesnt actually talk to me. He says im nice and calls me grampa but he also tried to hit me over the head with a whiffle bat the other day so...

Jsjsjsjjs bruce doesnt even TRY to call max mercury he WILL get ridiculed so hard

Lois in the bg just asking kon: sooo, how was ur date? 

Kon, 10000% down to talk abt his date: so-

Jsksjs jon is sitting there with his choccy milk listening carefully because!!! Romance is icky but tim and kon went paintballing for a date!!! Thats cool!!! 

Bruce is Struggling while tims talking to cass happily in his apartment eating tofu burgers and watching Alien with Dex

What if i just ended it with them finding out not because Bruce is a good detective or Clark nosied the info out but because like,,,at a sunday dinner dick randomly memtions he likes the flower sprig in tims hair and tims like "thanks kon gave it to me" and dick is like "aww are all ur friends tradimg flowers?" And tim very casually, unaware of the psychic damage hes abt to deal, says "No, kon and I are dating. Hes my boyfriend."

Enter the chaos

And for kon, ma and pa come up to metropolis for some reason, maybe they just wanted to make fun of the city lifers a bit, maybe they just wanna see the lane kent farm and ma is like "kon can we see tim?"

And kons like "sure lol swear u like my bf more than me sometimes"

And clark just whips his head around BECAUSE :O

Kon, unaware, has stopped The Man of Steel fully in place.

Nosy Clark and Bruce shenanigans include-

Bad disguises

Bad sneaking around

Unsubtle questioning of friends of tim and kon and siblings

Following them with fake mustaches on and carrying newspapers with holes in them to see out of

BatDad worrying about his kids growing up too fast he hasnt even HAD THEM THAT LONG??? GUVE HIM MORE TIME???? 

Clark, very excited about this, about to start a one man pride parade because hes remembering how Bad he dealt with kon when he first learned abt kon so now hes gonna be Extra Supportive!! Clark accepts Kon!!! And kons gonna know it!! Watch out kon, u WILL be supported!!

But yes,,, later one shot inspiration,,,might be a long time, might not👀👀

Who's to say👀👀👀

Chapter Text

Gotham isnt just full of crooks and criminals and the maniacally driven loons

Its a bit of a haven for supernaturally inclined individuals

Like??? Ofc it would be?? U can get away with wearing gas masks on the regular here whos gonna care if maybe u smell a bit like the bay so does the willfully homeless man on the corner of St. Maria Avenue and Maplewood Lane. 

Metroplis has a larger population of mer but gotham also have their own water sprites and mer and generally have more sirens, actually

Have a HUGE witch population (pagan witches not vodoun priestesses. Its a whole non hostile territory divide in the magic community) which is really funny considering the huge amount of churches in Gotham

Naga (half snake ppl) live in the sewers bc theres lotsa rats there and its generally the only place warm enough for them and where nobody can see them. Some do live above ground but they surprisingly prefer the underground of abandoned subway tunnels and sewers (theyre also friends with killer croc??? V interesting but ig waylon should have a couple cold blooded friends like him)

Werewolves also live it up in gotham. This is mentioned in a chapter of the Brentwood Chronicles (not released as of rn) and the upcoming fic 28 

Its a pretty good place to be a werewolf actually

Surprising lack of vampires might be all the chruches and water under bridges and shit yk?

But lots of fae actually, vaguely mentioned in the Mask for You, Mask for Me fic

Some places are pretty regularly haunted by ghosts, gotham totally has a ton of ghosts

Its just easy to be a supernatural being in Gotham, like people are fucken weird here

So, its close to the full moon, ur pissy, ur achey, everything is sensory hell

So what? That guys trailing a baseball bat behind him and its got dents in it, that lady is clutching her gut and muttering threats to her uterus, some autistic kid's got their headphones on and stimming while they wait for the walk light to go on at the street crossing. Nobody will know

Ivy is fully aware of the nymphs/sprites that live in her area of Robinson Park and the fae that wander in to use her forest as a conduit to cross over the the land of the Unseelie/Seelie

Killer Crocs got a truce with the nagas

On full moon nights, sirens sing with werewolves

Now theres smthn special abt new moon that i will mention in a currently unreleased chap of the brentwood chronicles and will make a plot point of in fic 28

Bc sirens are connected to the water and tudes theyre also connected to the moon, indirectly

So new moon? No visible moon pull?? The sirens can still sing but they dint have the magucal potence ti theur voices.

Werewolves attain some wolfish levels of adrenaline and such but do not transform under a new moon. 

And theres this place under a HUGE overpass that carries the monorail and has underbelly metal ribbing and is boxed in by a huge, destroyed cathedral except for part of the main room and a single tower with perfectly intact stained glass

So the sirens put on concerts for the new moon nights. Witches naga werewolves sprites nymphs fae and humans who Know turn up and just lose themselves in beautiful voices and fun lights and being aurrounded by people like them

A hellhole gotham may be, it still has people and people fucken love people. I know it may not seem like it but i promise: people love people. In the way strangers know and love strangers; inconsequentially but vastly so.

Its a bunch of strange odd individuals dofferent from the rest congregating to enjoy and love something together, to be near others like them and just enjoy and experience love and life and light and the wonder of it all

Speaking if wonder

If this secret world of gotham isnt known by ol bats,,,why do i mention it in my fics???

U know who gets attracted by oddballs and such? 

:)))

Tim met a miss cecilia at age 11 on a summer time city expedition

Cecilia happens to be a siren. 

Tims luck is bonkers enough she is actually a siren who preys only on marine life as it is a diet her family has followed for centuries

Tim obv makes her his friend

So she bring him on a no moon night to a concert

And tim. Fucking. Loves. It.

He climbs up the broken cathedral tower staurs inside to the tower and enjoys the flashing concert lights theough stained glass. He can still hear the music and run rampant as he pleases

Its a precious secret of his, this part of Gotham dipped in mythical people

And tim can keep a secret very well if he tries

And Tim sure does try. 

Chapter Text

Maybe Dick n Tim are having a nice fun lil night out just screwing around and running over some rooftops, kicking some ass, being silly brothers again<3

N they face off some asshole thug but this particular thug had just come from ivy's greenhouse while she was busy feeding some of ger carnivorous plants and stole some pollen

Now this particular pollen just inhibits the senses its kinda like weed but only the effects of making you a goofy ass

Goonie didnt know this bc he didnt study plants and pammy doesnt need to label her shit she can tell what is what

(Met a botanist student once and ??? She never labelled her specimens, didnt need to quite frankly, and could identify a mushroom from 15 feet. Weirdest girl i ever met and i hope shes living a very good life with her pet tortoise.)

Goonie's tryna break into someones house bc hes like some type of enforcer who is gonna use the pollen to kill someone and blame it on Ivy

Its just the pollen DOESNT do that

Nightwing and RR catch him and are like "hey stop fucking breaking into ppls homes its fucking cold out here theyre gonna get a draft :/"

Goonie gets a good amnt of pollen in Tims face

Naturally as is typical for nightwing, nightwing goes berserk (im so serious this is new earth canon Dick casually just goes off the fucken walls berserk and threatens to beat the shit out of people so bad they need feeding tubes. Like jesus christ sir) and breaks the dudes arm 

Its fine he didnt need it

Dick is kinda freaking out bc yeah its just some pollen but what if it has poison in it or bacteria or something else horrible LIKE CLENCH SPORES?????

Just hauls ass back to the Nest to start running tests

Tims fine hes just boggled outta his goddamn brain

Tim, high asf: "Diiick omg ily"

Dick: "i??? Ily too 🥺"

Not expected but not particularly unwelcome if all dick has to do is wait it out with Tim and thats all he has to do

Tim: "dick i can tell you ANYTHING right???"

Dick: "absolutely. Only if u wanna."

Tim: "pls bring my cat."

Tim, high as the fucking Clocktower, holding Dex: "i have a pet bowling ball."

Dick, kinda cry laughing atp: "you sure do buddy."

Very High Tim making Very Reasonable Decisions: "M gonna start calling jason Pepe Le Pew."

Dick, nodding: "V wise decision."

Its just them going back n forth for a bit, Tims high and Dick is patient

Tim: "Ur my favorite brother dont tell anyone."

Dick: "i wont<3"

Tim: "Math is purple"

Dick: "Thought it was teal"

Tim: "No, do i look stupid? Its purple. Science is teal."

Dick: "English isnt purple?"

Tim: "No its yellow."

Dick: "why are we discussing this, neither of us go to school."

Tim: "Th ppl need to know."

Dick: "The...the ppl??? WHAT people???"

Tim: "The ones in my walls."

Dick: "??????"

Dick: "Do u want a snack?"

Tim: "Bugs."

Dick: "Okay, gummy worms it is."

Tim at some point just leans over, kinda sleepy, still quite high and just goes "Lemme tell u a secret dick"

Dick just leans real close and says "whats the secret??"

Tim, very loudly directly into Dick ear drums: "I LIKE BOYS."

Dick just starts laughing a lil like "u sure fucking do, timmy."

Tim, tired as fuck n kinda falling asleep: "dont laugh at me im not lying i do like them"

Dick, vaguely remembering his and tims brentwood era phonecalls: "Dw i believe you."

Tim just passes out and Dick takes a nap too

Cuddles,,,mayhaps??? 👀👀 can i add snuggles??? 👀👀

Tim just wakes up and doesnt remember shit and dick is like "dw im sure you'll remember!!😁👍"

*waits patiently until tim remembers a whole fucken like,,,,multiple months amount later"

Tim a very lomg time later: "dick i wanna tell u smthn and i dont want it to change how u see me"

Dick, who has pride balloons in his cabinet, waiting: "it wont"

Tim: "i....like boys??"

Dick immediately: "what rlly???? Wow i had zero (0) clue!!! I support and love you!!!!"

Tim: "....u knew didnt you."

Dick: "I love you!!!"

Tim: "WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME???"

Dick: "I LOVE YOU AND SUPPORT YOU????"

Tim: "OKAY BUT WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME???"

Dick: "i thought you should tell yourself first?????"

Tim: "....thank you for loving and supporting me. Ily too."

Idk just thought itd be a lil funny

Chapter Text

Publically Famous Civvie Tim n Cissie can be something so personal honestly

Maintain that bart is still Cissie's Boy Best Friend but in my delusional heart, her n tim got that bond from Pressuring Parents/Parental Figures u know??

Cissie kissing tim in yj felt very 'shes just sonsilly shes doing it for the bit. Shes kissing her homie goodbye and also kissed cassie goodbye off panel' Ya feel?

JSJJSJS cissie wasnt there for tims face reveal in canon and in my au she wasnt either so tim goes separately to her house and is like "u werent there for this but" *lifts his mask up*

Tim bought the tickets for YJ to go see Cissie win in the Olympics i know this in my over cooked heart and crisped soul

They have the same shoe size no i wont elaborate or change my mind thanks

Tim became v enthusiastic about Wendy the Werewolf stalker when she started playing Luella (and its a buffy ripoff so that means im interpreting it as Luella has a gf thanks)

Cassie was busy once bart and kon were at Max's because Kon's just that One Person who collects old people as grandparents/uncles/aunts/parental figures and bart wants to make kon experience ehat he has to do daily and cissie's like ":/ man this sucks i wanted to go to this store but shopping alone is freaky"

Tim: "lemme get civvies i will go"

Somehow end up buying some matching stuff??? Idk but they like their vibes and cissie is like "is it bad i see another person as my parent" (in reference to her therapist)

Tim: "No, absolutely not. Its perfectly fine."

Cissie has a permanently open invitation to stay at Tim's when shes in gotham

Soooo,,,,guess whos filming a fantasy horror in gotham👀👀👀 Cissie, perhaps? Yes. 

Literally at like 3 a.m. in the batcave post patrol

Tim's phone *rings*

Tim: "hello???"

Cissie: "guess who is at ur airport rn lol"

Tim: "why would u do this rn you will get killed"

Cissie: "rlly good flight travel time. Imma meet u at ur apartment ill call a cab." (<---shes messimg with him)

Tim: "DONT CALL A CAB??? IM PICKING YOU UP????"

Vicki Vale is already on tim and cassie getting breakfast like sharks on blood scents

"WAYNE HEIR GF ACTRESS CISSIE KING JONES???"

Tim: you forgot olympic gold medalist :/

Cissie: Damn, i cant kiss the homies/p? God forbid women do anything. 

Cissie could 100% handle vicki vale after growing up with bonnie king jones easy shit to her

Vicki Vale: are you dating tim wayne for the cash

Cissie: im not even dating him. 

Vicki: you were holding hands.

Cissie: is it not enough to use the buddy system? Can i simply just exist with a hand being my sole anchor to this mortal coil?

Im so sleepy i just think cissie and tim should cause light problems on purpose

Chapter Text

I was thinking abt who can get away with puppy dog eyes and with Whom they can get away with using them on

Dick:

• The first child
• Bruces first exposure to puppy dog eyes which is not enviable sounding
• Dick used to use them ALL the time when he was little
• Worked on bruce all the time
• Still might but dick hasnt used them on B since their blowout fight when dick left the Manor and left for NY
• He prefers either just doing shit w/o asking or yelling at bruce and potentially throwing hands at bruce
• But it used to work all the time
• Does not work on ANY of the younger siblings or alfred
• Oldest siblings cant use puppy dog eyes on younger siblings saying this as someone who is the 2nd oldest and older sister tried it on me n my younger sister and we just tackled her
• It didnt work bc shes also 3× stronger than both of us combined but its the thought that counts
• Baby Dickie had killer puppy dog eyes

Jason:

• Baby jason had THE most killer puppy dog eyes 
• Absolutely worked on alfred 100%
• Definitely worked on bruce
• Didnt rlly need to use them since he was pretty humble and reasonable when asking for things and he was too fucking cute to deny
• But when he used them? Alfred would let him get away with active murder 
• Would they work now that hes +6 feet and +210 pounds of fucken muscle
• Yes actually
• Would work on: Alfred and Bruce and Talia actually (--->is delusional and thinks Jason should use puppy eyes on Talia)
• Would not work on: Dick, Cass, Tim, and Damian
• Would he do it?
• ....only if he was desperate
• Hopes to God dick never tells roy that jason used to use puppy dog eyes on the batman 

Damian:

• I genuinely refuse to believe he can use puppy eyes
• He just looks like,,,,judgemental when he tries it
• Its the eyebrows he has the Wayne Eyebrows you know??? Like they have that particular arch and sharpness to them that just kills any and all puppy dog eyes
• Dick tries to teach him
• It does NOT work
• Bold to assume damian would just not either be like "i want this heres why i should have it" or "lol im taking this dont even try to stop me"
• Youngest sibling behavior fr (-->trust me, i know. I have 3 younger siblings)
• Cant do puppy eyes but if he scrunches his face like Kermit the frog then he can get dick to agree to do smthn within reason
• Also works on jason which is why he and jason steal a cow (its batcow ill elaborate more on this in my Batcow for the Holidays one shot)
• He never uses it on bruce and alfred or cass and tim for separate reasons
• Colin and later Jon can use puppy eyes on him, unfortunately it works because he is the Youngest In The Family and has no defense mechanisms against it

Cass

• Can she do puppy eyes?
• Yes she can
• Does she know shes doing puppy eyes?
• Not,,,really???
• Like,,,ofc she NEVER used them on david cain and she never even contemplated it when she was running away from him
• But shes observed enough to understand that certain body languages from children to guardians/parents will get them to agree to things that they want or want to do
• So its less the puppy eyes and more so the body language she conveys???
• But either fucking way it works
• Does it work on Bruce? ABSOLUTELY. Dick? 50/50. Tim? Doesnt even need to use them hes down to do whatever already and they coerce each other through stares and odd gestures than puppy eyes. Jason? Lmfao yeah but shed rather kick his ass around like a football. Babs? Better bet ur ass it works. Alfred? Sometimes, only if she hasnt used them in a long timd. Damian? Shes never used them on him and probably wont ever

Tim

• Hmmm i would say,,,yes but he doesnt know what hes doing and is unaware he can do/does puppy eyes
• Doesnt truly bother asking for stuff he can just do it/get it on his own
• Never really occurs to him to try and use puppy eyes to get something he wants why would he do that if he can just,,,,get it??? By himself???
• Its mostly used in conjunction with a smile with Tim
• Prime example in my fics? Kitty fic when he asks kon to hold dex. Then again kons kind of a simp in that one so,,,(love my simp4simp timkon)
• Does it work on Dick? ABSOLUTELY!!?? THERES NO FUCKING WAY IT WOULDNT WORK? Dick has the most exposure but it helps not in the slightest. Cass n Tim dont need it for each other. Tims older sister adjacents babs and helena? Unfortunately (to them) yes, but do not get the puppy eyes a lot bc tim only took off his mask for a bit with babs and i dont think at all with helena. Bruce and Alfred have never had exposure to this, mostly bc tim taking on the Emotional Support Robin role put him in kind of the same caretaker role as alfred so him and alfred were caretakers in conjuction and bruce was,,,,in his mourning period. No exposure to puppy eyes for them. Jason has also not had much exposure to this bc of ~everything~. Damian, as the youngest, would not get exposure.

Puppy dog eyes can in fact be very improtant to a family dynamic (<---lives with 4 other siblings) 

Chapter Text

The kryptonian carrying method was started by the ogs: clark and bruce

I dont even REMEMBER how it started in the comics but i imagine that it was just a bit after bruce took in dick bc hilariously, Batman was only a solo act for the in universe equivalent to a year and the out universe amount of eleven (11) comic book issues after becoming batman

Fucken hilarious

Anyways

Clark politely offers bruce a flight over to wherever bc his batplane blew up or smthn and bruce has to get home to his shiny new 9 year old child before he (bruce) has an anxiety attack and dick starts literally climbing the walls...and curtains...and bannisters...and chandeliers basically anything that can or cant be climbed will be climbed by little dickie grayson

Clark is so taken aback that he just,,,,grabs bruce long-cat style and flies him to wherever bruce tells him to

Its not the best on human shoulders but bruce would rather break his titanium dentures tryimg to bite clark's hand off than get cradled 

Clark uses his cape like a sack and scoops bruce in it to fly him around sometimes

But bruce HATES it. He is 6'3 210 pounds of Batman, the Dark Knight, the Caled Crusader, The Detective. He has DIGNITY dammit (alfred side eyes bruce's bat ears and says "yes, dignity, of course)

Ofc clark cant fly too fast because humans cant withstand the speed and the wind force and stuff so that also complicates things when it comes to flying

But mostly, bruce has resigned himself to the Sack Carry or the Long Cat Hold. 

Dick used to use clark like a jungle gym when he was little and theyre both completely chill with dick piggybacking clark for a  quick flight. 

Now, bizzarro just scruffs jason's leather jacket like a kitten

And jason just has to deal with it. He doesnt particularly like being carried by anyone but he wont say shit to bizzarro. He just lets it happen. Kori has also scruffed him. But ueah, bizzarro just holds jason by the scruff of his jacket and jason hangs there and lets it happen

Now, out of all the kryptonians, Kon has it easiest. In the beginning, Tim would get long cat carried. They were also able to go as fast as kon could because kon has that extra special ttk! Ttk shield boom! No flesh getting ripped off at warp speed. Ofc the carrying evolved with the comfort levels. Tims sat on kon's shoulders (theres even a panel of this and i cant remember which comic but i know kon wears tiger slippers in the same issue) and tim is completely comfy with being carried. He likes it, even. Like bruce will be scowling and grumbling coming off a battlefield knowing clarks gonna have to give him a lift and tim just goes rught over to kon like "ok pick me up rn" and kon just does. Theyve done the surfing carry, the piggyback, the sat on the shoulders, the koala and, ofc, default atp is the cradle. Its comfy for both of them. Tim can take a nap like that and also hold stuff for kon if he needs to. Its completely ridiculous to everyone but the yj kids and tim and kon. 

GOING TO EXPLODE MYSELF I FORGOT CASS HOW DARE I???

Kon ALSO carries cass she monkeys on him as she pleases and kon lets it happen. Cass can do as she pleases. and bruce hates it lmfao 

Damian lost a baby tooth trying to snap at Jon's hands and jon threw a mudball at damians face. Jon also can only float, not so much fly, but hes like a helium balloon. He floats and bobs along and sometimes damian and colin are the singular string ppl try to grab to yank back down. Jon will hold damian's clothes scruff or do a long cat carry or will do a piggyback carry. He tried to copy tim and kon once with their carry holds and damian hissed at jon. Jon hissed back. Cant wait to write them meeting. Children fighting fr. 

Kara doesnt often carry ppl. But she mostly does the like,,forearm grasp kind of hold. 

Chris gets carried i still see him as a 7 yr old he doenst carry anyone but will try to pick up tim (gently holds Superman #668) his older body will usually also do the forearm grasp.

Chapter Text

This is not projecting (-->known liar)

Anyways its not that tim choses losers 

And by losers i mean ACTUAL losers not losers/affectionate

Ots just that the aura of the guys that tim likes would not pass the vibe check at all

Not with Jack or Bruce

And that, right there, is absolutely the height of comedy to me

Theres nothing ~wrong~ with them technically aside from natural human flaws 

But essentially the energy is George Banks and Bryan Mackenzie in the 1991 Father of the Bride movie before they start getting along

Except the vibe never changes

I dont think bruce liked Kon in canon💀💀💀

*scrolls through online comics real quick*

HE DID NOT💀💀💀 sjjsjsjsj

Anyways any boy tim mentions to bruce an extended amount of time is always scrutinized particularly based off of unintentional vocal tone inflections 

I think that the vibes would be so off putting jack, if he were around, would forget the fact that its a guy and just hate whoever tim brought over for the sheer energies and the energies alone

Hates the aura enough to forget to be vaguely homophobic💀💀💀

For bruce its the combo of: vibes, the knowledge his children are growing up and time is slipping through his fingers like water, probably fashion sense, and quite possibly hairstyles

Hes FINE with tim liking guys thats not the issue its the fucking auras created the vibes have not passed the check and everything is mildly Hell here

Tim's authority issues + self dependence= maybe i DO like that neither male parent likes whoever im kissing 

Very funny dynamic to me

Chapter Text

Bruce:

• As Batman hes all Dark Aesthetic. Its the big blobby cloaks and the thick boots and the heavy gauntlets 
• Intimidation
• As Brucie that bastard is wearing name brands and suits with those fancy named cuts of styles i cant even remember except the top buttons are never done
• Hes got fancy shoes n shit
• Hes got colognes all the fancy colognes and he coiffs his hair all fancy 
• Hes got his diamond stud earrings in that he got on impulse when he was 17 and a nice watch
• His casual wear is all fancy slacks n button ups and hes shaved
• As Bruce? That man is in a dress robe. Hes wearing bat slippers from dick's first hannukah/christmas/holiday celebrations mix they did at the manor that are held together by alfreds stitching and a goddamn prayer hes wearing pajama pants and a t shirt and his comb got lost somewhere only alfred and tim could possibly find. That bitch has a grizzly stubble that isnt even tidied up he looks like a cozy slob dad that hasnt not had a kid taking up his whole bed since Dick showed up and he doesnt know the fucking time till the sun starts to set. 

Dick:

• I read the comics
• Oh my god
• THE POLKA DOT SHIRT OUTFIT??? HELLO???
• WITH THE LUSCIOUS HORSE MANE MULLET AND NO SOCKS AND LOAFERS??? WHAT THE F U C K??
• Ong that was so horrible i started crying
• I know thats just how ppl dressed in the time but good god did it hurt to see
• Has three (3) designated Good Outfits that don't rely on his sheer levels of pretty privilege to not look like a menace and a clown in
• The rest is in the hands of god and good genes
• He actively chooses to dress Like That because all his fucks he had to give fled when he was 17
• Not a single pair of socks he owns are plain they all are patterned
• Owns a meager amount of Normal sweaters and theyve all been repurposed by Tim till they lose the scent and end up in the Manor's laundry basket 
• His sweats get stolen most often by Cass actually
• As Richie Grayson-Wayne he is the Gorgeous Man he is artfully colorful and gracefully shimmery
• Discowing was a purposeful choice and thats all i shall say
• But dick grayson? Menace to the fashion industry. 

Jason:

• I wanna give an opinion real quick and nobody can kill me for this/hj
• He is objectively Physically Attractive/Sexy but he is so critically lacking in rizz. Full balance of zero (0) rizz. So completely deficient in fucking rizz that hes in the negatives. I refuse to believe he has any rizz in the slightest and that is a hill i will fight for my life on 
• Moving on
• Baby Jason? Sweaters and collared shirts and the whole Neat Tidy Good Kid look
• That kid tucked his sweaters in all around
• He cleaned his shoes
• He folded his sweater cuffs, not even in like,,,the cool way he folded them based on ruler measurememts sp he would have a perfectly even cuff on each sleeve. 
• I refuse to believe older Jason wears pants around his safe houses 
• That bitch sleeps in boxers and bandages and his own goddamn tears
• Always has something wrapped in bandages be it a hand a leg an arm or his torso, there are bandage wrappings 
• Does have house slippers
• Doesnt rlly shave so he has a grizzle not unlike bruces and nobody is allowed to point it out (cass does not care and ruthlessly points it out to his face. Tim leaves sticky notes)
• Can be Swanky (tm)
• Wears suits with the Big Coats yknow the ones im talking abt??? Like the stylishly oversized suit coats??? Wears some kimda cologne but v weak cologne its v faint
• Thats his Red Hood Business Mode
• His Regular Red Hood mode is the leather jacket jason bc thats the only one i can formulate in my mind. Not wearimg cologne
• But if he just wants to grab a burger hes in his "my grandma gave me this and i love my grandma" sweaters and jeans. Is wearing floral Old Spice (good for him/gen)
• Wears dogtags. No explanation he just does (they were his mom's)
• Has a few fabulous outfits Talia gave him 
• He just knows Damian owns the matching set and refuses to wear them when damian also possibly might 

Cass

• I think Cass deserves to wear pretty dresses and shiny jewelry like a floaty ballet princess and feel special and pretty
• Wearing her Grandma's jewelry sets 
• Wearing Babs' jewlery gifts that double as weapons
• Wearing Harper's tazer-rings and bracelets
• Once wore a beaded friendship bracelet steph gave her during patrol and it broke so she only wears those around the house.
• Doesnt wear heels. No heels. Shes a ballet flats girlie.
• Or shes wearing running shoes or Goth boots. Goth Boots Cass. 
• Absolutely wears black lipstick and black lipstick alone
• It is the liquid non sticky lipstick bc anything else is Sensory Hell
• Shes wearing fluffy dresses or workout gear/the black bat suit
• Wears the weakest perfume possible and i respect that
• Does Not Care she is wearing her sports bra around the house and a pair of loose boxers if she isnt in a fluffy skirt that makes her feel like a queen of the clouds
• Likes bat printed stuff
• CLOTHES THIEF!!! CLOTHES THIEF!!!
• Her and tim do wear the same size i wont hear anything else 
• Isnt ashamed of her clothes thief habits she is proud 
• She likes yellow but looks the best in black or deep deep maroon red
• Cassie Wayne is the most quiet, polite classy young lady in the prettiest dresses
• Cass is wearing Tims star trek t shirt and her Black Canary boxers and stuffing an entire garlic loaf in her jaw
• Black Bat is a terror of the night in pitch black and silent limbs

Tim:

• Known Clothes Thief
• Wears anyones clothes if he gets his raccoon hands on them, he is taking it
• Greta's clothes? Anita's? Cassie's? Cissie's? Bart's? Kon's? HIS NOW
• Will also give his clothes away to his friends
• There is a cycle of clothing
• Regular Tim? Just plain old Tim? Hes got a skater punk kid thing. That bitch has used his moms eyeliner pencils and has worn fishnets under jeans willingly with chipped nail polish. Not cologne but neutral deoderant. Smells mostly like his shampoo and conditioner and fabric softener on his clothes. 
• Band tshirts and theyre all punk bands
• Theres an intersection of queer culture and the skater/punk/goth/emo cultures and tim was right in there in the 90s comics (also look up depeche mode lyrics?? Tim???? I- ???? Theyre not bad but god DAMN they were fruitier than Jamba Juice)
• The rattiest fucking jeans youve ever seen. He also cuffs his jeans and tucks his shirts but like,,,only part of the shirt is tucked and the cuffs are messy and slightly uneven. 
• Cuts the sleeves off of things and wears another shirt under WITH the sleeves
• Geek shirts like NASA shirts, Star Wars shirt, super hero merch, Star Trek shirts. His multiple earrings are all tiny close to the ear hoops and they represent his friends
• Man bun. Messy man bun. There is a pen in there somewhere. 
• i KNOW tim drew in sharpie on his converse hightops and vans dont even try to argue w me on that
• A dumbass who didnt tie his shoe laces
• Mr. Sarcastic was a Choice and thats all i can say. Gay ass choice but yeah a choice (still thinkimg abt his mr
•  sarcastic mesh shirt tbh. Id wear it but only that part of the whole,,,,thing)
• Tim Wayne on the other hand? Have yall seen those cute ass cropped argyle sweater vests with the puffy long sleeve button ups with tighter cuffs? Yeah. Hes wearing those with slacks and his belt matches his shoes and hes got a neat half up half down that took 20 minutes to do right. Still not wearing cologne but he used a roll on scent stick on the insides of his wrists. V professional. 
• Now bc im unrepentant and a sinner i like the stupid dorky wing suit from new52 that Fake Tim wore. I liked those dumb ass goofyass fuckass wings. Loved them. His outfit kinda fucked too but maybe only to me bc im horrible. I think tim should have stupid bird wings. He IS that dramatuc bitch ok?? Get winged, idiot. 

Damian

• Hes in martial arts robes, black turtle necks or thobes. 
• Shares the same chronic issue of "no pants only shorts" as tim when it comes to sleeping
• Has pet hair all over him at all times
• Wears all black or black with shades of deep green
• Thobes are comfy actually
• My stepdad gave me an old thobe of his it was cozy as fuck yall
• He has slippers they are rabbits and cass has beef with them
• Hair is always spiky like porcupine
• He is too little to wear cologne he smells like kids shampoo/conditioner
• Likes socks (wont elaborate)
• Long sleeves>>>>>
• His mom gave him so many outfits tonwear but damian bet she gave the same to jason and refuses to leave his room wearing them. 
• His robin suit is more green and yellow than black-red. 
• Always has pockets (for a knife)

Chapter Text

I think tim should be allowed to have a bunch of cats????

Hes just That person u know?? The one with just a large amount of kitties???

A couple farmers near the Kent farm in smallville own two cats named Charlene and Tangerine

Charlene has a litter of two- two black kittens

Tangerine also has two kittens - two orange kittens

These farmers do not wanna keep four kittens

Kon happens to be visiting around the time they're talking abt getting rid of the kittens and consider drowning said kittens and kons just like NO

So he hauls ass over there and is like "hi i heard abt those kittens i would like all four of them pls??"

Well, better than drowning them so kon has four (4) kittens

It's about a month before tims bday in the timeline 

So kon casually asks tim "hey would u ever want more cats??"

And tim thinks abt it and decides "yes but only if dex likes them"

So kon starts sneaking over the kitten blankets and toys that have the kittens scent on it

Dex LOVES it

Dex wants these kittens right fucking now

He will be a father kitty to four (4) adopted kittens he has decided it these are his new little squishies now

(Inspired by the weird ass cat i used to know at my old apartments that was named Saint MeowMeow and Saint MeowMeow used to adopt the abandoned kittens around the complex and keep them safe for himself he was a strange ass cat and i think about saint meowmeow so very often)

Tim has no clue why dex is being so weird but the vet said he is fine??? 

Cue tims bday shenanigans and whem he comes back kon is like alr one last gift

And tims like ???

And then kon pulls out the kittens

Tim goes fucking NUTS

Four little fluffy 6 month old kitties??? And cass brings dex over and dex just unleashes the biggest loudest most horsepower motor purr ever to be purred

I chose the names by pulling them out of a hat

Tim names them: 

Doobie -short for Dubious- (orange kitten, female)

Ami- short for Calamity- (orange kitten, female)

Shel- short for Shelob-(black kitten, female)

 Butter (black kitten, female)

They've all been fixed ofc because you should get your fucking pets fixed (or spayed/neutered whatever the fuck, just do it)

Also remember pets are not just gufts theyre living creatures that deserve care and love and to be taken care of reliably and responsibly

ANYWAYS sorry for the psa i have feelings abt that

Tims DELIGHTED 

Kittens as a gift??? And dex loves them??? 

Doobie, Shel, Butter and Ami are going to have a VERY good home :)))

Chapter Text

Bellona is technically a roman goddess name but Cassie had the guts to march up to zeus and argue her way into getting powers so i think she should also just decide to opt for a Roman goddess name

I did think abt Pallas like pallas athena as well but ultimately opted for Bellona

She has armor plating on her shoulders and in my brain she's wearing cargo pants the ones that cuff around the ankle with the elastic band sewed in that are tucked into knee high armored boots. 

Imagine getting kicked by armored boots id be obliterated on the spot

Thinking abt color scheme,,,,,gold and red worked for her i think with white stars

Omg reallllly dark red cargo pants that have little white stars on the hip👀👀 actually might be cute

Wish i could draw to explain this better hrnkdkdlsk

Yall remember her black sleeveless turtleneck in the later yj comics??? That but its gold armor that matches her shoulder plating. 

Has her lasso and a sword bc i think cassie should be allowed to have a sword (<---is gay)

Rember the heapiece she wore as Wonder Woman from the future??? I actually liked that but the star on it is white

Now. Cassie's hair.

I kinda hc in my head that she liked her short hair and only ever ppanned to let it get shoulder length at most bc she remembers fighting with her wig bc it kept getting caught on shit

But she kept hearing shit from stupid assholes about how THIS wondergirl was sooo tomboyish and unfeminine and her clothes were baggy and unflattering especially compared to Troia and Wonderwoman (ah yes comparing young girls to grown ass women. A staple of my youth [<--is seething])

That shit fucks girls up ive seen it happen to my friends

So she lets her hair grow out long like Diana's and Donna's and tries out tighter clothes and all sorts of things 

And its not BAD ITS NOT its interesting and different and maybe a little fun

But she doesnt feel like herself 

(Im gonna slaughter geoff johns someday)

So post everything,,,,she decides shes gonna change her costume and change her name and she gets the kitchen scissors and chops off her hair to her shoulders

Its messy and uneven and its all fucked up but she starts crying because!!! Thats her!! Thats cassie hello cassie im so sorry i locked you away!!! Forgive me???

And yeah shes always been cassie the more fem leaning was still her but this is,,,this feels like herself. This feels like shes takimg back something she lost and kissing it gently on the forehead

Cassies mom sees her daughter cry-smiling in the mirror and tells her to sweep up before they go to the salon to fix her hair

I cant pick a short cassie haircut HELP???? 

Its got layers she has layers she needs layers but its also shorter than her shoulders and i think she has like,,,bangs too 

Oh my god i know what im talking about i PROMISE

Anyways,,,,i love cassie as wondergirl. This is just me also wantimg her to give cassie the freedom to choose to grow more. 

Chapter Text

I kinda wanna bring jason back to life publically

Just for shits n giggles u know how it is

Ofc its vicki vale back at it again with the front page news 

Jasons not even doing anything sus

Hes literally in a sweater ricking up to DQ's for a blizzard

What blizzard flavor would jason get?

Idk ive never had dqs before 

Anyways,,,,jason, grandpa sweater, Blizzard

He had a long night of crime lording he just woke up at 1:13 p.m. he wants a fuckignn,,, DQ Blizzard 

And Vicki heard that the elusive, silent Cassandra Wayne would be somewhere close by getting a treat and vicki has been ITCHING to interview the only daughter of bruce wayne

Cass is actually not anywhere near the dqs shes getting boba with tim before they pick up duke and harper and cullen so he can give them a lift to the movies or smthn

Vicki however catches an eyeful of jason and say what u will about her ethics, she can clock a Wayne at 50 feet with sand in her eyes 

And this? This is ABSOLUTELY Jason Todd-Wayne, rumored to have died at age 15 overseas in a kidnapping gone wrong

Vickis one of those ppl who take pics of ppl without their permission in public i fucking know it

She does and she pulls up RECEIPTS she finds old pics of baby jason and she publishes that shit w side by side conparisons

Why did jason fake his death?

Why didnt bruce wayne reverse the death claim?

Why did he come back now?

What does he DO for a living👀👀👀

Could be a fun lil concept theres so much to do with it

Jason can lie about SO much and he can be so Dramatic Theatre Kid about it 

Jason: Amnesia. I didnt die but i was badly injured and submitted as a john doe and lost my memory till now and i have come to find my long lost adoptive father and hope he will believe 'tis me, returned. 

Jason: the kidnappers dropped a body double and payed off the mprgue. I escaped and have been travelling back to gotham over the years, thinkimg abt my place on tje universe

He can even tell the fucken truth abt him dying and getting universe altered back to life

Jason: i ate my flintstones vitamins. 

Imagine,,,the family drama that could be dropped,,,,hilatious to me

I think jason returning back to life could be funny actually

,,,jason goes to college👀👀

Chapter Text

Damian being all nosey in bruces files as one does

What else do u want him to do? He cant even patrol on his own, hes either with bruce, dick, or colin and colin has to have a comm linked to bruce in his ear at all patrol times simce bruce found out abt Abuse being a lil bitty baby when he isnt hopped up on the venom juice 

Anyways hes just being an 11 year old and engaging in 11 year old behavior- nosing through your parent's shit for fun and possibly profit (<--i never did this. Are u kidding me? Im latina ofc i never did this to my mami. My sisters were free game tho)

And he finds a small handful of video files

'Young Justice'? It sounds like an organization that is a precursor to the Justuce League

He goes to dick innocuously questioning abt the requirements of Young Justice while dick is fighting w jason (and absolutely making beans out of jason) and dick is just like "oh my god that was tims team group i had no clue these existed"

And damian is like 🤨 "arent they Just Us which is lame and stupid"

Dick has to explain that YJ was YJ 

So dick starts pulling up the video logs

[First one is already a mess;  clearly being filmed by someone unwilling to do this, tims unintentional but very much obvious limp wrist gesture is taking up 90% of the cameras view as he carries it screen down to the ground, he is clearly not wearing his robin suit. He is wearing fuzzy long socks that look like geese heads and they seem to go to his knees.

Tim's voice, very squeaky adolescent sounding: yeah, batman wanted a video report of us 'doing work'. 

The camera pans up and Impulse is right there nose to the camera and his breath is fogging it all up. Impulse is wearing a monkey print pajama dress and giant dolphin slippers

Bart: we dont work, this is a sleepover

Cissie, somewhere in the bg: im gonna swing my bra around like Tarzan

Cassie, also in the bg apparently holding an entirely separate conversation: no, but if i had a dick, id stick my theoretical schlong in a peanut butter jar

Kon: crunchy or smooth and why

Cassie: smooth, for the texture, obviously. Anyways do you want this hello kitty crop top?]

Pls imagine Dick, Damian, and Jason just sitting in sheer shock rn

Already, there is no fucking context that will make any of this okay to hear at any given moment. It just gets worse.

[Tim: everyone say hi batman he wants me to do a report

Bart: hi batman :) thanks for giving us our bird back you borrow him a lot

Cassie: a report? Of what, my hello kitty nail stickers? 

Tim: be nice, u know he's got no friends :/

Cissie, still holding her bra and swinging it around like a slingshot: he sounds kinda pathetic tbh:/

Kon: *wheeze*

Tim: i know but hes really sad so like,,,be easy on him

Tim holds the camera to his face. The mask is still on but theres unicorn clips in his hair and hes wearing a very lorge hoodie 

Tim: this is my video report. This is what u get, as is so :/]

It deals psychic damage to who ever is watching. Theres still MORE

Dick immediately clicks om the nect video file. Its from red tornado

[Red Tornado: it seems you were displeased with the initial quality of the video robin sent. I will attempt to send you whatever you deem acceltable but please be aware that these young heroes are...themselves. i promise nothing

Red T: they are currently attempting team building exercises

Camera pans over and tim is throttling kon on the floor with cissie's bow string and kon is yanking tims hair while they scream about pop tarts in each others face 

Cassie is decking bart in the gut while sobbing hysterically and cissie is also on the floor but shes doing a hand stand with what looks to be approximately several lollipops in her mouth at once. Behind the camera, theres ???? Ominous whispers??? About the abyss and death??? 

Red T: i never said it was a good attempt

Tim: -you probably like the fuckign,,,,CHOCOLATE poptarts u nasty bitch

Kon: no those are disgusting fym i like the chocolate ones thats like saying i like hersheys

Tim: oh hersheys are nasty actually milk chocolate sucks :/

Kon: its only good if its actual chocolate 

(They are no longer killing [???] each other and tim is now just laying flat on top of kon and kon is tapping his fingers on tims head. Cassie is rubbing barts back hile he recovers from her demigoddess punch and cissie lets the completely cleaned off lollipop sticks fall put of her mouth and she falls on her back. Bart rolls on top of tim while cassie drops on top of bart and cissie covers cassie. They are now discussing chocolate)

Red T: this is actually better than the last time

Red T: i would like to request none lf them be separated if only for my mental health reasons]

Dick, Jason, Damian: *live slug reaction*

This is literally fucking ridiculous

Theres NO way

Third file is one that batman lifted from security cameras 

[The circus theme song had started blasting, scaring two armed guards. A blur knocks them out and Impulse stands over the k.o.'d bodies and,,,,??? starts dancing over their bodies???

Tim: empress how u feeling abt physical endangerment

Anita: a treat???? For me???? 

Tim: seems right- anyways!! We're pulling a Mt. Rushmore again

Kon: NICE i wasnt there for that

Cassie: ur gonna love it we should take pics for cissie and traya

Tim: we will lets go get suzie

The canera splits. The circus music is still blasting. Tim starts doing cartwheels down a hall while kon slutdrops every ten seconds while walking down another. Anita and cassie are beating up the outside guards just to make sure they dont get in the way later. Bart is everywhere doing his thing and also scouting for 'suzie'. Impulse opens a tube and that screen blurs. Ominous chanting abt the void is heard. Tim is dropping tnt like breadcrumbs. Kon punts a bomb into a room. Cassie is syill crawling and anita is taking pics for cissie. Tim whistles and a purple car slams through several layers of walls n shit and the camera footage fries within the next 3 minutes.from the explosion)

Its just 5 videos in total none lf which encapsulate the fullness of the YJ insanity but its enough. Just a hoard of teens that were just unsupervised and possibly certifiably insane. Its so messy 5 total videos is all they have and thats not NEARLY enough. But it is also SO MUCH at the same time. 

Chapter Text

I think once tim starts approaching the realization he may be queer, he just starts thinking

And hes like 'wait. Hold on. What if its not just the liking guys thing?'

Not every queer person is gonna have a gender identity crisis. It is an occuremce ive experienced and multiple of my queer friends have also experienced it. And some experience it the other way around. They question their gender id before going 'oh shit oh fuck wait what abt my attraction/lack thereof' 

And not everybody walks outta it like 'huh, so im ALSO not cis/agab or im also not hetero/allo' sometimes its just 'okay i thought abt it this part of me is still the same or whatever and thats chill'

I just think with identity being such a part of tim's narrative in that Very Queer Way that mr chuck dixon didnt want us to see but we did, i think he'd have that Gender Fuckery

Just like "oh shit i like boys and i also might be Gender Fucked"

I think he'd call one of the YJ members about it

Vaguely but Definitively Gender Fucked YJ My Beloved

Bart's over in half a second like "okay, we're gonna play dress up"

Dress up is fun actually 

Tims living rooms just a big ass mess of clothes amd bart n tim are just talking like "i mean, is it normal to be comfortable in your girl friends' clothes?"

"Yeah. Same w other guy's clothes. If its comfy wear it."

If its comfy wear it is the mantra

If that skirt is comfy? Wear it!

If those jeans are comfy? Wear it!

If that hoodies comfy? Wear it!

If that crop tops comfy? Wear it! 

Ofc its not a pep talk and one night fix all but its nice to know hes got support

So maybe he wears a little lip tint around. Its a nice shade, so wear it!

So maybe he has a sports jersey from a Kmights game dick took him to. Its easy to throw on, so wear it!

So maybe he just wants to exist as a hoodie blob. Fuck it up, so wear it! 

Basically tim just spends a bit playing with clothes and self expression

Tim and Cassie👀👀👀 trade styles a bit👀👀 

Tim n Bart, the 'we look just like our moms!' Bitches vibing in their little somewhat androgynous bubble

Kon busts out that dress he had i cant remember why he had it in the comics and he struts around the apartment in the dress and dirty sneakers dancing silly while making tim laugh and join him

Cissie talking about her time when she insisted on being called Ralph

Greta admitting since returning from the dead gender identity has mostly been "i was ready fucken dead once why should i care anymore about this?" And tim buying and sending her a bunch of big hoodies to cozy up and be formless but also Very Much Present in. The cozy feel of having no shape but also being corporeal. 

Anita offering to do demipermanent dye in Tims hair like she does on her's as long as he pierces her ears again for her with her eyebrow next time they see each other and hes like "done, ill pierce you<3"

The ultimate conclusion is 'i can do whatever i want forever<3' 

Chapter Text

I literally havent read the fairy tail manga since i was like 15 which was definitely the wrong age to read that bc i then developed body issues💀💀💀

But the magic system was kinda fucking hilarious

Pure bullshit

Its deserves to be applied to other universes

Im not talking abt a crossover bc i??? I actually hate crossovers??? Its like when the food that isnt supposed to touches mixes together and i wont stand for that

No this is just an au without any of the pre-existing characters which i DO like bc its like putting spice on my food instead of mixing together the food that Doesnt Touch

ANYWAYS ignore that 

But basically the JLA is like,,,the place where all the Guild Leaders meet and discuss their stuff but essentially like,,,the arrows are their own guild, the supers are their own guild, the lanterns are their own guild, bats are their own guild, so on and so forth

Titans are not a guild, they tried to establish it as an independent one but it ultimately failed. So the Titans are just an inter-guild team that are SUPER highly ranked. 

Tim is the rich kid runaway (im debating on giving him vocally based magic??? Hes so hard to pick a magic type for sjjsjsj idk what magic to give him but i want him to be unsettling as per usual)

But anyways his moms dead, hes running away from his dad, and he does NOT wanna be caught

Where does yj come in??

Well,,,,they are wizards and they technically DO have a place in one of the guilds i mentioned its just,,,,theyre kinda outcasts??? 

Cassie has god slayer magic, lightning god slayer magic to play off the demigoddess thing

Bart has Wind Demon Slayer Magic which is why hes so fast

Greta has death god curse magic

Kon is a sun god slayer

S'lobo has some kinda super powerful poison magic thats slowly killing him

Anita's magic is,,,the same💀💀 queen shit she fits right into the au

Cissie starts off as someone with like,,,,probability manipulation she uses on her arrows to always hit the mark but her magic gets stolen but shes still one of the best archers so she competes in major competitions equivalent to the Olympics and still becomes an actress solely bc thats Very Funny to me

And anyways,,,their magic,,,,kinda makes people,,,uncomfortable???? Suspicious???? 

So instead of staying in places where they dont seem to be very wanted they just,,,run away. Come across each other. Stick together. Cause trouble for the dark guilds and also the light guilds and everyone else too while just hiking around lowkey homeless. And then meet Tim. who probably got his dumbass in trouble. Tim is like hey are you guys a guild? Theyre like no? Tims like we should make this a guild. Wont be legal but that doesnt matter. And theyre SO fucken down for it

So now these teen wizards made up an illegal guild and just fuck it up, mess up peoples shit, wearing masks around evrryone but each other bc its VERY funny to have the identity situation reversed 

Omg what should their guild marks be??? Im thinking they carve a stamp in the shape of a y and a j forming a really weird infinity sign and have it magicked so its a permanent guild mark 

Cissie gets her's really small on the inside of her left wrist and keeps it even when she loses her magic

Cassie's is on the back of her left hand

Bart puts his right on his left shoulder

Kon's is on the left shoulder blade

Greta's is on the left upper arm on her bicep

S'lobo just gets his over his mf eye on the left

Tim's mark on his left collarbone

Anita gets her's on the lower part of the left of her ribcage

Theyre all on the left bc,,,,the heart position,,,yeah,,,

So they all kinda just fight bad guys across the country, they get the supercycle bc they humiliate a demon into giving up his magical bike that travels super fast, their magic powers comtinue to grow and they all find a home right where they are, together

Now on the OTHER side of shit?

The official guilds are flipping shit. What the HELL are these renegades doing calling their rogue gang a guild? Young Just Us??? A rogue guild that does illegal shit 24/7/365??

And theyre very powerful. Very. And nobody knows who ANY of them are. Itd be best to bring them to the official guilds, separate and assimilate them into different guilds, and keep them under watch

Theres plenty of dark guilds who'd want these kids under their thumb

And then Jack Drake shows up too sometime like "im posting a reward if you find my missing son. He ran away and i have no clue where he is"

So theres the combined plotshit of yj just messing around, growing, figuring themselves out, maybe doing the Trauma Tango, Tim being a missing person and some member of the Bat guild of detectives trying to find him while ALSO trying to track YJ and rein them in, maybe i'll throw ra's and lex in as parties interested in these young, possibly impressionable teen wizards who have no home and are rejected out of fear and/or discomfort and therefor easy to manipulate into coming to the dark side. 

U dont gotta know anything abt fairy tail i just have Unfortunate Knowledge that can fuel aus. 

Scenes could include tim literally jumping off a cliff just as hes about to be grabbed and him and a Bat's eyes meet Dramatically (tm) just as he plummets over the edge and is swooped off safely on the supercycle with the others

Jack standing bedraggled as the rain pours down outside the Manor the Bats use as a guildhall and shows a picture of Tim and hoarsely pleads them to find his missing son

Cassie and Kon being brawler4brawler

Bart and Tim still being mad scientists that experiment w magic

Gay

Everyone scratching theur heads as they wonder WHO these mysterious powerful teen wizards could be while also quietly talking abt how their youngest guild members disappeared 

YJ kids just beating the absolute shit outta each other in the woods with their very intense magic powers that actually cause some major fuckin damage

Gay

Their codependent asses<3

In all my aus, tim gets a cat. Magic cat for tim, that cat is the team mascot

Traya and Red Tornado appearance as yj work to free red tornado from being trapped in a statue and reunite him with traya

Evil People being Evil except their plans fall through because YJ is entirely composed of mean ass teens who feel like they can only rely on each other bc their support systems are either dead or outcast them emotionally

This could be a fun au anyone can take a crack at it 

just Young Just Us being OP teen wizards who found family between themselves

Chapter Text

Mmmmmm no capes au where tim is the Boy Next Door who goes to the same dance studio that cass goes to

Hes in contemporary and cass is in ballet and their classes do a mixed class together

Theyre partners

Cass has fun dancing w him and Tim has natural little brother instincts so she decjdes she wants to walk home woth him

They dont even need to talk, they can literally just walk home in pure silence and go back to their separate housed thinking "wow i cant believe i just connected with someone on such a deep, emotional level" 

So they start going back n forth to the dance studio together and tim goes "hey do,,,do u wanna come to my house and play with my legos?"

And cass is like "oh YES i do"

Cass n tim play video games (ddr or just dance👀👀👀) and they play dress up and eat snacks and dance and make lego buildings

Cass has made tim a Little Brother and in a big family like her's, she usually has to share /everything/ 

But tim is her little brother, only her's as of rn, and,,,,she doesn't HAVE to share him. At all. That's Cass's little brother, only her's and by god will she hoard him so hard

While cass is busy hoardimg her shiny new little brother, bruce has...grown supicious

Usually cass comes straight home after dance and now she goes out. For HOURS. And she comes home VERY happy. Not that he isnt happy his daughtee is happy but its,,,,out of place???

So now he wants to sic Big Brothers Dick and Jason on her trail and see where she goes after dance

Dick and Jason are Dramatic (tm) and agree bc theyre big brothers and also obnoxious 

So they go out in shitty disguises and just tail cass and tim 

And its??? Weird???? Bc cass and tim say like 2 words to each other in ten minutes at most and 90% of the walk is spent in pure silence

Then dick and jason get into shenanigans spying on tim and cass in tims house 

And they expect nefarious things from this shrimpy kid next door 

Except theyre just eating m&ms and watching star trek

Tim shows off the cool new black lipstick some kid from school sold him for 1 dollar and a pack of gum. 

Cass is using all the bobbypins in tims house to practice doing a proper ballerina bun on her own. 

So its just two young teens (id say tims,,,14?? And cass is 16??) honestly just vibing. 

Dick and jason report their findings and are kinda confused abt the whole thing

Eventually bruce confronts cass and she is just SO mad bc thats!!! Her brother!!! She wasn't ready to share Tim!! And they followed her around??? Shes absolutely enraged and leaves to go have a sleepover at Tim's 

In general tho its just lots of tim n cass siblings shenanigans fluff while the others watch on in confusion as cass sneaks around and withholds info bc she simply refuses to share her fun new dance studio little brother with everyone else

Chapter Text

Timothy Drake's Guide for Caring for Your Grieving Batman

A necessity for scatterbrained timmy drake, age 13. Some excerpts from Timmy Drake's Guide to xaring for your batman

• Check in!

Now that youve made contact with your Batman and established intent, keep checking in! Call and ask for health reports from Agent A/Penny-One

Questions about health should include queries on:

-regular caloric intake

-rem cycle status

-regular sanitization to prevent infection/molding

-time spent not staring at a computer screen

-emotional status

• Take action

When presented with the opportunity, such as weekends and breaks, take the initiative to ensure that your Batman is not running himself down

Actions taken can be:

-experiment with foods that are easy to eat and shove grapes down his throat if he refuses everything

-get him some upstairs time. A water bottle with a hole packed in the cap and ejected with force directly in to the eye can be used when negotiations fall through

-bargain for him to take a shower. If he wont, put those flimsy muscles to work and start pushing his rolling chair to the showers, turn on a shower and drop him in. If hes too heavy, get him to the middle of the cave and politely ask for the Bat-hose. 

-regulate that sleep cycle! Get him upstairs (lemonade filled water gun may be required) and on a couch if the bed is top far. Sit on his back, the pressure is supposed to work according to the therapist articles and you may be the size of medium-large dog. Should work the same. 

-hydrate! Make sure a bottle of water is had at least once a day! Prying open the jaws may be required which is why you have The Stick

-Talk! Talking to your Batman can prove to be helpful in getting him to sleep, relax, or dissociate long enough to call it rest. Any topic will work and if the topic is interesting enough, your Batman may start to engage with corrections to information! Dinosaurs and the Grey Ghost vhs tapes are both solid starter topics for your Batman.

• Don't Take It Personally

Your Batman may be liable to emotional outbursts. If hurtful words are exchanged one sided, do not take it personally. Grief is a complex emotion. 

Instead, consider:

-Standing your ground and calling him a punk bitch. He isn't scary and let him know that. He can yell all he wants but he isn't scary. If you stand your ground, he will probably have a breakdown. Be prepared to deal with that instead. 

-Giving him space. Leave the room for approximately 10 minutes. Take a minute or two to feel upset before preparing to deal with the proceeding breakdown

• Keep up with Agent A/Penny-One

Agent A/Penny-One aka Alfred is crucial to Bruce's emotional center. Make sure he is also stable.

-Let him teach you to cook things. Mutually beneficial, allows him to decompress

-show him video games. Never too old to play video games and it also allows him to sit down for a minte or two

-Ask for 'advice'. Talk to him about things at school and allow him to give advice from his perspective. 

-Ask for him to 'give feedback' on music lessons. Put those music lessons to use and find out what can get Alfred to take a short nap. Ave Maria seems to work very well?

-Say thank you. You may have cut half of finishing school lessons but you learned your manners. Use them and make sure Alfred knows he's appreciated!

-Let him talk. Just get him on a topic and talk. He seems to like reminiscing his theatre days. 

• Don't Be Afraid to Lie<3

Mother taught you how to lie, put that to use like you were born to do. Don't be afraid to ommit information, mislead, give the verbal runaround, or tell technical truths. Make Mother proud! 

The guide is stored somewhere, and tim himself doesn't remember where his notebook he used for his guide is. Maybe it'll turn up...someday.

Chapter Text

I think im a comedian. Im actually just cruel. So anyways immediately post 13 yr old support child fic has tim attempting to leave like "welp, thats done :)" and he immediately tries to fuck off except theres a major fuckass blizzard thats shut every road down. 

mmm,,,,i tangentially decided that dexter will be appearing in the 13 yr old support child fic because i can do ~whatever i want~ so dexter will not be left alone in the apartment 

So at least tim has his cat????

So. Theyre all snowed in. The manor still has fireplaces in every room at least, just in case

Jasons pissed bc he didnt even wanna BE here he was just here to help alfred crack the wizard and get the mf to reverse the spell so now he has to have his emotional crises here and hes mad as hell abt it

Dick doesnt exactly like being locked in with bruce BUT!!! all his siblings in one place at the same time? Oh god he will be SUCH a nuisance who knows when he will get this chance to be the most obnoxious older brother to all his siblings simultaneously again anytime soon???

Cass and tim gathering all the spare blankets they can find for a joint blanket nest they can share

This is when dexter offically meets alfred the cat. Dexter is now a Guardian Cat bc this kitty is,,,,littol and dex,,,he lorge,,,Dex good kitty alfred the cat just has to deal with it

Nobody can patrol but its fine because no fucking villain or regular ass criminal can step outside 

Gotham has a record breaking low of criminal activity of 0% for a whole ass week and then afterwards it immediately rockets back up to 67% which is still pretty low end for gotham but the lack of crime lowkey feels creepy and it makes the vibes feel like theyre covered in The Fucking Ooze

Every night Bruce wanders to his kids'rooms and checks in on them

⬆️that is plot relevant

Damian having to cohabitate with all 4 of his other siblings genuinely may break him idk

Tim hasn't seen his best friends in a whole week he is video calling everyday usimg the network thats connected to the alien tech sattelite bart won in a game of intergalactic poker from a sector of the galaxy they are now banned from for the next approximate 5 years

the sattelite has amazing global connection

An entire video call is dedicated to the entire yj team playing cards against humanity

I could do something very funny: Damian has snuck colin in and colins been living in damians room the entire week bc the 10 yr old who can become a giant creature called Abuse is apparently the only person he can live with for a whole week 

Cass and tim using their knowledge of the secret passages (look at wayne manor and tell me that fucking place DOESNT have secret passages. Ur a liar of u say it doesnt have secret passages)

Jason writes the outline for an agatha christie esque murder novel abt an overly rich pompous asshole named Thomas Bruce Payne and also doing some fairly cathartic shooting with alfred

Dick squishes his siblings so good. Hes absolutely crushing them. Like big dog. Hed hoarding these kids hes squishing them.hes messing with their hair he is taking naps in their rooms with them hes feeding them propaganda abt his years as robin in the winter

Paino + Dance time for Tim and Cass  🥺

OHHHH cass solo adventures in the attic👀👀👀

Idk where im going with this but a week of them all stuck inside is sooo fun. To me.

Chapter Text

Tim has been banned from multiple places and this is one of my firmest beliefs

Theres no way he isnt i refuse to believe otherwise

He got banned from a couple places when he was younger and wasnt quiiiite as sneaky

He has also been banned from ppaces bc ppl just thought he was fucking weird which is a fair but unfortunate assessment

1) a local playground in Bristol. He was 3 years old and was also a biter. No elaboration needed. He is still banned.

2) the campus of a private k-6 elementary. He was 5 and this one technically wasnt his fault but his parents kept taking him in and out of classrooms for random reasons and eventually he was just banned from entering campus. 

3) a local shake shack, age 11, after a waitress taking out the trash saw him spying on Ives from the bushes bc Tim was still trying to stalk Ives to make friends with him. Ives Does Not Know. 

4) Boarding school #???, age 12 after an asshole teacher failed the entire class bc said asshole teacher just didnt wanna grade tests and hw. Tim released a live wasp into the room the teacher slept in. Technically wasn't found out but the teacher did Not Like Tim and decided to blame Tim. Tim took the ban with grace, mostly bc he hated it there. Admin found out the teacher 'randomly' blamed him for 'no reason' and was fired. Tim just asked the mark be taken off his record. It was.

5) local car dump, age 13, after the grounds keeper caught him snatching random parts off defunct motors, engines, axels, and other such car parts for him to mess around with and also maybe hoard till later use. Shiny broken thing make autistic crow brain go ☆bing☆. 

6) Brentwood Campus, age,,,14. Don't need to elaborate, bir i think its justified. Only child dean netherlander has failed to 'make a gentleman'. He tried his best, tim's just a freak :/

7) Gotham Heights Boiler Room (won't explain)

8) Lois E Grieves Boiler Room (also won't explain)

9) café in paris, age 16. Discreet ninja attack in the form of a food fight, unfortunately

10) Russia

Chapter Text

This is yet another separate au thoughts thing anyone is free to snatch up and play with like kinetic sand for fun and emotional profit

I guess all the bats could easily get the green ring but id have to say, itd be Bruce, Babs, and Damian who'd resolutely be green and i cant see damian and bruce being anything but green lanterns but i think in smallville which ive never watched and wont bc i have no attention span for tv shows 99% of the time, babs is a blue lantern but id say shes mainly green green lantern to me. 

Dick. I think theres a thing abt him having an open spot in the Blue Lantern corps which is for hope. Good, hard agree, very good. Id take away the holiest beings in the universe thing tho bc hope shouldnt be holy. Hope is bitter and bloody and bright and ugly and so wonderful is terrifying. Hope should not have to be holy. But w/e (dont mentions batgirls 09 to me that was a black mercy fuelled fantasy and i also hate batgirls 09 and bryan q miller dont mention batgirls 09 or i kick you like fútbol at cop). Dick also attracting a red ring when hes absolutely wailing on jokers ass???👀

Jason. Hmmm. Red lanterns immediately come to mind. Cliche ik but he could also probably do well w a yellow ring. Anger or fear. Consider that the anger is an intrrnal thing towards his life's trajectory and what brought him here and why he does what he does. For fear, its the fear of losing control over his life again, fear that he will be stuck in the moments again where he cant escape a warehouse with a ticking time bomb. Self preservative fear. Again, green would also work very very well too, but anyways red or yellow

Cass i can solidly see in the green or indigo rings. Indigo is the rings for vompassion although i'd take away geoff johns' shitass mind control thingy he wrote up bc Fuck That. Cass and the ring of compassion, indigo. Yeah i would kill for that. Her compassion and want to never kill again, her compassion for people she wants to protect can be sooo fucking personal. Ive seen some stiff abt her being yellow for fear but i think she would hate it soooo much. Green or Indigo rings of power for Cass <3 and no i wont change my mind argue w a wall

Tim. Oh my god. So green for willpower BUT i can also make the argument for star sapphire or indigo. Star sapphires CAN and are willing to induct men. Their policy is literally "love is love and thats our power" (<--paraphrasing) Guy Gardner once weilded a star sapphire ring. Star saphires typically receive their rings over,,,,lost love. Love they have for someone they've lost. Easy to make an au where a star sapphire ring is zipping around during tims mad scientist era with the cloning and shit and is attracted to love so strong this mf was willing to commit crimes against nature and his cloning thing was literally compared in canon to monsieur mallah and brain's want to clone a body for brain to live their lives together in love (insane over this btw) He rejects the ring at first but when he loses robin, something that also symbolized love, the ring comes again and he accepts it (mask that looks like tears falling from his face????👀👀👀) Again would remove the weird mind control bullshit fuck you geoff johns. THIS ONE WAS SO LONG SORRY but yes indigo or star sapphire i could easily see for tim. 

Maybe bruce would be down w the yellow fear ring actually??? Terrorizing criminals and dirty politicians and dorty cops n shit??? Haunting and lurking as one does??? How we feel abt that???

Also maybe damian would be down for fear ring too??? Idk but yes, green ring for damian, very solid green ring and i think thats best for him. 

Chapter Text

 Ive been a tim-drake-coffee-lover-anti for an admittedly embarrassing amount of time. Hes a sugar fiend in my heart and i cherry pick canon and the Zesti thing is real and true and i like keeping it bc grape is a really random soda flovor to love. Hes a proper energy soda drinker. Also zesti is canonically made with like possibly addictive tainted water and weird nuts/sap from nuts (??) from Santa Prisca where Bane became Bane so thats even fucking funnier than a coffee addiction 

Thats not the POINT anyways when tim sugar crashes he goes and seeks out little napping spots

Thinking of all the random places tim would just crash in his Robin run lol

Rooftops, libraries, sheds, desks, floors, infamously took a nap on a rollercoaster. He would just get sleepy and take a nap. 

I bet tim finds a bunch of weird places to take naps

Like, he finds a linen closet thats got enough space? Sounds like the ideal nap spot to Tim

In a laundry hamper w freshly dried sheets? Oh you bet ur ass he's napping right then and there

Under the bed? For sure

In the closet? Uh huh

On the floor? He needs floor time and nap time so this is just a win-win

Naps on his couch in his apartment? He got an ungodly squishy couch for a reason.

On a friend? Friends are for naps

Hes a bed thief. He lays himself out on rugs and passes out. He curls up in chairs and is off to dream land. 

Put him in a car without him being in the drivers seat and Tim is absolutely napping in the car

But, like, the best places are the hidey holes

He likes sleeping in linen closets the most, or clean laundry hampers with just dried blankets and sheets. The detergent smells are great and the warm feeling is like better than drugs. He crawls under beds with a pillow and blanket and its a cool, dry place for him to relax in without being bothered. Anywhere that tim can fit with a blanket and pillow is his cozy new nap spot.

Hes fallen asleep during hide and seek and thats how he usually wins. He just curls up in a dark, cozy enough spot that nobody larger than him could fit into, sleep through the game, and wins. Its soooo annoying to everyone but also a little impressive

If you build a blanket fort and let tim in, chances are he will sleep beneath the pillows and blanlets till said fort collapses around his head.

The small, squished, dark spaces + warmth and softness of pillows/blankets trigger the sleepy part of his brain to put him down for the count. 

Generally takes naps anywhere that doesnt put his nerves on edge which is also why he prefers the squished dark spaces

Cannot nap if hes been separated from his friends for too long, the intrusive thoughts are really fucking loud :/

Insane abt group naps, loves getting squished safely its like a weighted blanket but warmer

Weighted blanket enjoyer

Has sooooo many blankets, just an insane amount of blankets, a vast number of pillows, and he will make small 'bird nests' to fall asleep in if hes at his apartment and wants to take a nap on the couch

Naps with Dexter, cat naps if u will

Lmao kon pulling open tims closet door to see tim and dexter huddled in a mass of blankets and pillows, napping in the dark

Emerges from under ppls beds post nap only to scare the shit out off them

Falls out of the linen closet and almost gives someone a heart attack

Let him nap in his hidey holes in peace 

Chapter Text

I have additions

I also decided, yes, celestial key wizard Tim. His parents bring back artefacts and tim discovers that theyve pillaged an ancient temple and collected 7 Zodiac keys, all of which were thought to be lost. They are now in his house. These arent all the magic keys in the world but they ARE the golden keys. Tims a fairly lonely child so having friends in his pocket is appealing, and he sorta wants to get the whole set, if only bc hed want the golden keys to be together again and not separated. 

His parents keep stumbling across keys, mostly just more minor silver ones but Tim hoards them. By the time janet dies, tim has 17 keys. 

Now, key wizards arent super powerful but when tim runs away, he immediately stumbles into Lady Shiva, a shadow wizard who also specializes in non magic fighting and shes like "oh you are so silly, child, like a stupid puppy" and she decides it wouldnt hurt to train him as long as he keeps entertaining her. Him entertaining her mostly consists of tim being about as insane as he usually is bc Shiva thinks his chaos is great. 

So, tims got a bo staff, unknowingly trained with the lady shiva while traveling together for a few months to rock King Snake's shit (he should also still fight Dark Wizard King Snake bc fuck that guy) and hes got 17 keys and is looking for the rest of the zodiac keys. Not hc he wants to be the most powerful key holder, just bc he wants to make sure all the keys can see each other again. But other silver keys are great for him too (lonely child wants friends to keep in pocket/ on a key ring on his pants loops, nobody is surprised)

OOOH he meets the outcast guild kids bc he found a key and it got his ass in trouble bc magic keys although not super powerful, are worth a lotta money

Cassie and Kon can fly bc,,,,god slayer magic says so and idc

Nobody outside yj thinks tims a key wizard. They think hes a Null Wizard, aka a magic nullifier. He just runs crazy ass science experiments that arent magic focused and mostly everybody forgets science in the face of magic. Unless they have magic for science. So tim can pull out some weird non magic method of nullifying said powers and it just clocks as 'Null Wizard'

Everybody thinks Bart is an lightning wizard. Hes not, he just moves really fast (Wind Demon Slayer) and slaps ppl with his joybuzzer before fucking off. 

Everyone thinks Kon is a telekinesis wizard. He isnt, his solar based god slayer powers just allow him to manipulate things around him (im completely bullshitting, pls bare with me i just want kon to breathe fucking solar beams from his mouth like dragon fire bc thats so bad ass)

Everyone thinks Cassie has only flight magic. Incorrect, nobody notices shes a lightning god slayer. 

Nobody knows greta exists. Shes been on the run for ages bc of her death god guardian curse magic. She has a corporeal form but can also turn dusty mode. 

Everybody straight up thinks S'lobo is just a gremlin they picked up. His poison magic, which is slowly deteriorating/degrading his body, is the reason why S'lobo looks the way he does. 

Anita's spirit magic is mistaken for mind control magic. What she actually does is take control of someones soul to control them. She can also summon spirits, use their energy to power herself, and essentially do all her queen ass vodoun magic. 

Everyone thinks cissie has archery magic. She uses her probability manipulation to manipulate the chances of her arrows landing, altho she actually does a lot of archery sans magic so shes reeeeaaallly fucking good. Others think shes got beauty magic. Cissies just pretty (ask Cassie)

They all wear masks/sort of face coverings besides like Slobo and Greta when theyre doing their wizard shit. They dont want their ex guilds to find them and try and make them go back to guilds nobody wanted them at

Tim wears a mask around everyone besides the team so his dad cant find him (also v funny to me that its reverse situation so the guilds dont know yj's identities but yj knows each others identities)

Cant decide whyyy tim would run away but he ran off in the dead of night real dramatically as is his right

Id put all their ages at 15-16 (me, holding the 'tims the youngest on the yj team by a technicality' so gently. He was almost 15 as stated in one issue of yj, barts aging was all wonky till ot stabilized at 15, kon was aged up to 16, cassie and cissie and anita were also 15. I think greta may have also been 15 but i will accept her being 14, but older than tim by like 2 months for comedic reasons. Slobo is,,,,an interdimensional alien clone and therefor exempt from aging but Id say id give cassie, cissie, anita, bart, slobo and kon 16 and tim and greta at 15 with greta like a month older than Tim bc thats rllllly funny. To me.)

But they all just kinda band together and form a guild illegally. Illegally bc they arent registered with the JLA's collective wizard government as a functional guild with a guild space, BUT they made their own stamp so fuck the JLA theyre a wizard guild now! 

They immediately terrorize and emotionally traumatize an evil mage with demon magic to giving up his magical sentient ATV so now they have the super cycle :)

Theyre all awful goblins, they just travel around with their insanely OP magic and no supervision and secret identities

Accidentally stop a majorly powerful demon from rising (whatever that one god deity thingy was from the World Without Grownups issue was bc i cannot for the life of me remember his name💀) coincidentally attracting the attention of the JLA which is the coalition (<---is an Eng. Lit Major, cant spell) of all the major guild heads and most powerful wizards in the country who decide "okay these kids are powerful, we gotta separate them, keep an eye on them."

The guilds heads also still whisper abt their missing young guild members who fled last year, disappearing into nothing and havent been found yet. 

I almost want cass to not be part of the Bats bc then YJ stumbles across this shadow wizard girl and tims like "heyo, free big sister!! :D" bc give this kid ALL the big sisters

Babs with rune magic👀

Bruce as a requip wizard. He can change out all his weaponry/clothes depending on the situation, mostly armor based aka why hes called the Dark Knight. 

Jason was thought to be dead but he just got amnesia. Hes a *shakes jar with papers in it* metal wizard aka he can manipulate metal to do whatever he wants so he can make bullets with no gun, he can make magic swords (all blades👀), he can make a skillet go smack someone over the head with. 

Dick is a wind wizard. Not like Bart, who is a Wind Demon Slayer, but he can manipulate air to fly and cool shit like that. 

Damian is a blood wizard. If he gets someones blood on his fingers he can make them do whatever he wants as long as hes touching their blood. 

Clark is a solar wizard. The sun feeds him and increases his powers to insane levels. 

Kon is still the lex and clark crotch goblin bc *shakes jar with papers inside* lex is a mad science wizard who was once friends with clark (smallville origins👀👀👀?) And stole his blood and used his dna to mix together and bond with sunlight and basically kon was a magic science experiment but he also aged naturally. He was surrendered to the super guild at age 8 (jon was just born) and spent half his life very awkwardly trying to bond with clark before deciding to fuck off and leave

The yj kids kinda handle the ridiculously dangerous 'you are 99% likely to die' quests that take them all over the place which makes it super hard to catch them but its alsp how bart makes a bet with a king that bart wins and then wins them a flying island powered by their magic so they are quite literally above the law

They usually keep the island parked and anchored somewhere in the ocean so they dont exhaust themselves by draining out their magic to keep it flying

Tim is an active missing person but hard cut to him questing around on rumours for the other golden keys to complete the set and get all the golden keys reunited

YJ risk their asses to show up at Cissie's non magical international archery competition after her magic gets stolen from her 

Ra's being the evil king cult leader of a small but powerful country who is deeply interested in these oddball wizards who are weirdly OP and also seem to be on the run from the jla 100% of the time

(Lmao tim breaks into ra's ppace to nab a golden key💀💀 tim @ ra's: get thieved, idiot)

The constant undertone of "ohh woe, we miss our lost proteges" said proteges have their own island and a sentient magic car

This au is soooooo fun i love it

Chapter Text

     Tim slid the window sill closed and looked down. A steep drop. A wrong fall would break his legs if he was lucky, and it would break his neck if he wasn't. He looked up towards the tree and took a deep breath. He inhaled, imagining the air wizard who smiled down at Tim, bright blue eyes gleaming, and the circus lights burning. Then, Tim jumped. His fingers scrabbled against rough bark as his palms scraped to snatch at the branches. His keys jangled against his hip, the bright tone silvery against the dark of night, and his travel pack bumped against his back. It'd be easy to shimmy down the tree and pick the lock, sneak back up to his bedroom and go to bed. But the keys- his friends- had been beside him his whole life. More company than his parents had offered him, more care than his nannies had given, and more patience and understanding than his schools had paid. And his father was going to sell his friends, exchanging the people who'd been by Tim's side for some cash because after his accident and Tim's mom's death, his father wanted to get rid of all the things that reminded him of Janet...besides Tim. Hopefully. But, that wasn't the point! His father wanted to sell the keys, all the silver and gold keys, off to some collector! As long as that possibility existed, Tim couldn't stay unless he never wanted to see his friends again. So, Tim packed up his stuff, took some cash from whatever he'd stashed outside his inheritance his mom left him, and waited. And now, Tim was hauling himself over the gates of the Drake property and as soon as his feet hit the pavement outside, Tim was off. His feet pounded against the ground as Tim ran. He ran and ran and ran till, finally, Drake Manor was a spec in the distance, and Tim was all alone.

      The bus out of Gotham took him to Metropolis and then he got a connection to Gateway, and he wanted to spare his money, so Tim started legging it. There was a wide forest, and a small trail, and plenty of signs. As long as Tim stuck to the trail, he could make his way in a moderately safe fashion to...wherever. Naturally, Tim didn't stay on the path. He heard a whisper in the wind, beckoning him. He shouldn't listen. Tim listened. And there he met Lady Shiva.

       Several months later, Tim parted ways with Lady Shiva, the memories of Edmund Dorrance's venom magic still searing terror and exhilaration in his veins, a metal bo staff tucked into a small holster on his belt, clinking in tune with his keys. He'd never thought of using his friends to fight, but now, he didn't have to. Magic users tended to expect other magic users to bring out magic right off the bat, and now, Tim could smack people around with a big metal stick. Every 15 year old's dream. Now, Tim stood in Star City, hundreds of miles from Gotham, and wondered: what do I do now?

"I'm so fucked, I'm so fucked, I'm sosososososososososo fucked," Tim cried as he hurdled over a fallen log, his brand new, shiny silver key clanging against his hip bone. 

He had already had the Key of Taurus- who he had named Hudson, the Key of Cancer-Ives, the Aquarius Key- Ariana, the Sagittarius Key- Bernard, the Virgo Key- Callie, the Scorpio Key who called himself Hudman, and the Pisces Key, named Darla. Those were all 7 of his golden keys. He had a bunch of silver keys, 10 of them. Now, Tim didn't really think it was good to steal keys from other Celestial Wizards, but those tomb raiders were soooo not Celestial Wizards. And they were just gonna sell the silver key like it was some artefact and not like there was a living spirit inside. So, well, Tim kinda...snatched it? And the key had let him grab it up, so whatever spirit was in there was appreciative enough that it didn't burn him so if he escaped, Tim had a new spirit contract to look forward to! "Get back here," the tomb raider roared, and Tim sped up.

There was a cliff and nowhere to run. There was the ocean so hopefully he could summon Ariana fast enough. All he had to do was...

"Hey!"

Jump.

Chapter Text

     Kon grew up in a tower. Now, this might have been a problem if he couldn't fly. God slayers tend to do that, particularly sky-based God slayers. Or maybe it was just him and Cassie who did that. He didn't know; she was the only other God slayer he knew. He didn't even know what he was till he had left the Super Guild. He sure as shit didn't know what he was when he'd lived in Lex's tower-lab. He wasn't even sure how he had spawned God slayer magic when Lex had some weird chemical magic. Clark was at least a Solar Wizard, capable of harnessing the Sun God's power, but Kon was something else entirely. How the hell did that work? He didn't wanna slay anything. And then, when he was 8, and he got taken out of Lex's tower, he thought everything would be a lot less lonely. Lois was nice. But she also just had a baby, baby Jon, and Kon couldn't be bothering her all the time. Ma and Pa were nice too, and they taught him to do things like cook and plow fields and milk cows and they let him fly around as he pleased. He was cool with Kara and everything but it'd have been...nice, he guesses, to have been closer to Kal. Kal, Clark, whatever he wanted to be called at the time. And he kept holding out, waiting for the gentle awkwardness, that kind but distant quality to fade, and it just...didn't. And Kon had stamped himself, a yellow 'S' shield mark of the Super guild. But Kal had taken Jon to get a blue 'S' shield stamp for his 8th birthday and Kal had just looked so damn proud to have the kid officially in the Guild...Kon had found the magic eraser and packed his shit and left Ma and Pa a note. It was dumb, to feel so hurt over something so little. Besides, Kal had given him a name, Kon-El, a name from the once grand kingdom of Krypton before its fall and its desecration, and he brought Kon back from Lex's tower-lab and he gave him to Ma and Pa. And it should be enough. But...it just never felt like enough. Call Kon selfish, call Kon stupid, but Kon wanted to feel...enough. So, Kon left, backpack on his back and the wind under his feet as he rose into the dark night sky. Maybe he'd find what he was looking for.

      Getting shot by an arrow was not on Kon's swanky planner in his head, but here he was, with an arrow in his arm. He floated downwards, landing on the ground with a stumble. "Oh," a girl winces, "I thought you were one of the creatures I'm hunting."

She's so pretty, big brown eyes and long, pale blonde hair. Well, ain't that a mood improver? "Duck," she barked, swinging up a bow with an arrow knocked, sigils of her palely colored magic circle flaring on the arrows as she let them loose.

A horrific squawk echoed out as some fucked up feathered monkey thing flumped on the ground, arrow embedded deep in its skull. Well, damn. "My name's Cissie," Cissie introduced herself, jolding out a calloused hand.

"Kon," Kon told her with a wink, "You in a Hunter's Guild?"

Cissie's face screwed up as she scowled, "No guild. They suck shit."

Kon laughed, surprised, "Tell me about it. Say, what kinda wizard are ya?"

Cissie shifted uncomfortably. "I manipulate chance. In a way, I can kinda manipulate peoples' chances too, but I'm the one mainly receiving the effects. My mom really loved that."

He could hear that familiar bitterness that sat on Kon's tongue. Well, now he didn't feel so much like flirting with her now. Not when he knew what she was feeling at the moment. "Run off," Kon mummbled.

Cissie froze up and Kon immediately said, "I did too. I just did...yesterday. Last night. Uh, I'm guildless now."

Cissie relaxed and grinned. "Wanna meet my friend? He's guildless too."

    Bart left his guild, the Flash Guild, two months ago and helped Cissie escape her mom and the Arrow Guild. Cissie's mom wanted her to manipulate her chances of making the Guild Master pick Cissie as a protege, when Cissie had rathered a girl she knew, Mia Dearden, be picked. They'd gotten into a raging fight, and Bart had been passing by. And that night, Bart helped Cissie escape. Besides, as Cissie had told Kon, she wasn't close with her other guild members. Her mother was off putting and Cissie had been accused of manipulating others or cheating at things with her magic. Cissie had had very few friends. Bart was looking for his Uncle Max, who disappeared. Bart had been the son of Meloni Thawne, the sister in law of the Guild Master Barry of the Flash Guild, before Barry's brother Don died and Meloni disappeared when Bart was 3, leaving Bart in the care of his adoptive uncle, Max. Bart was a Wind Demon Slayer, a result of his father's wind magic and his mother's demon curse of time. Bart was too-fast, too-loud, too-intense, too-much. But Max loved him. And then, a year ago, Max disappeared. Nobody looked for him, even as Bart begged his cousin Wally to do so. But Bart got nobody to listen. Fed up, angry, and alone, Bart ran. Literally. And now, here they were. Kon liked Bart. He had huge hair and huge feet and huge eyes. He was like a scarecrow that ate like a shark. "Hey, Kon," Bart spoke up, "Wanna stick with us?"

And so Kon did.

     Greta ran into them, chased by a hoard of villagers wanting to chain her up and burn her alive. Her short, dark blonde-brown hair tangled as she ran and her dark brown eyes had pleaded even as ghostly hands pulsed around her. Anita heard the commotion and soul-controlled someone, her violet magic burning on peoples' skin. S'lobo had met Anita on the boat she stowed away on and ran after her, poison spreading through his palms, leaking from his eyes, and making the ground singe. So, Greta, Anita, and S'lobo joined them. And Kon felt like he was a puzzle piece, the surrounding pieces he needed finally slotting into place instead of like he was being mashed into a puzzle he didn't even belong to.

      Cassie had been in the sky, catching the lightning off a deadly storm that was hovering over a village. Her short golden hair crackled with bright arcs of lightning, twisting along her arms, sparking in the dark, tense blue of her eyes. She roared, a violent arc of violent lightning pouring from her mouth. It cut into a mountain side, crumbling the peak to dust and nothing more. Instead of being thanked, the villagers screamed in fear at her. A Lightning God slayer. She had known what she was, inducted into the Amazon Guild that famously only accepted girls. Apprentice to Diana Prince, the famous wizard Wonder Woman...and totally alone in her magic skills. Her guild Master, Diana, encouraged Cassie to explore, as that was what Cassie claimed she wanted to do, but there was a lot of nastiness from other guild members. How she was uncontrollable, clumsy, bad at magic, horse faced. And Cassie hadn't meant to become Diana's apprentice, but she had loved it. But there was only so much shit someone could take. So Cassie, like Kon, erased her guild mark and took off. She sent her mom letters, promises she was okay. She stole jobs off the bulletin board before ditching the guild, and now, after finishing her last one, Cassie had nothing to do. And they welcomed Cassie with open arms. Another puzzle piece fell into place.

     Kon didn't make it a habit of catching falling boys outta the sky, but here he was. Kon had an armful of crazy with big blue eyes that had hurled himself off a cliff. Kon hadn't really meant to catch him, of course, but he so wanted to beat Cassie around the sharp bend because he usually was the fastest thing in the sky, but Cassie was faster, and Kon hadn't felt a thrill like racing Cassie till he met everyone. He heard the distant shouts and a missed gunshot, and suddenly, in his arms, there was some boy. His chest was heaving hard and his cheeks were flushed, eyes wide and wild and mouth opened in a cut off scream. "Watch out," the boy yelled as he jerked Kon's shoulders, veering them off to the side. 

A bullet whistled through the air where they'd been. "Hey, what the fuck," Kon snapped as he peered at the people on the cliff.

One of them was a gunslinger wizard, but he wasn't very good at it. Not even close to Cissie's level, for sure. "Give us that little fucker and we don't shoot," a woman yelled, a cigarette grit between her teeth.

"Just drop me in the ocean, I'll be fine," the boy hissed, abd oh, would you look at that, he was insane.

"I'm not doing either of those things," Kon said loudly, "What's going on?"

"That little son of a bitch stole our things," a man spat.

"You were going to just sell a key you raided a Celestial Wizard's resting place for," the boy in Kon's arms snapped, "Keys have spirits! They don't want to be sold, so fuck you!"

Kon spotted the ring of silver and gold keys sitting on the boy's hip. Huh, he thought Celestial Key wizards died off ages ago. Guess not. He might be holding of the last Key Wizards in his arms right now. Welp, not the weirdest things ever to happen to him. "Uh, I'll side with the key wizard," Kon announced, "Bye!"

A gun shot blasted against the air. "Give us the key wizard and we don't shoot you out the sky."

Lame threat. Kon felt the burn of the sun buzz under his palms. "Alright."

He flipped his glasses off and set them on the boy's face. "Wear these," he said, "Might blind you with my brilliance, Boy Thief."

Oh, that was a good one. Good job, Kon. Raising his palm, holding the boy one armed, the iridescent color of his magic circle gleamed into existence. "See ya'll later," he said as a Sun God Beam burst from his palm. 

The light was hot and bright and searing. The boy squeezed his eyes shut and only opened them when the light died off. Kon was mostly sure the tomb raiders weren't dead, just k.o.ed. K.o.ed really hard. His palm twinged, the skin a little burnt feeling. Just a regular first degree. Kon set the boy down on the cliff again. Huh. He sure was short. "Uh. What the fuck," the boy blurted.

Rude. "I think the proper response was thank you," Kon pointed out.

Pink spread quickly from ears to cheeks and connecting faintly at the nose bridge. "Thanks," the boy said, "Uh...so, what the fuck?"

"I'm a-," Kon started, flexing before Bart zipped into his side.

"Sun God slayer, yeah, yeah, we heard it all," Bart chattered, "What'd we blow up now?"

"Tomb raiders," Kon answered.

"That was soooo unnecessary, Kon," Cassie snarked as she landed, "Good job, though, it's definitely stronger than before."

Three months of travel and fighting with other people wothout being afraid he'd crisp them sure improved Kon's magic. It was stronger...scarier. "Thanks, Cassie," Kon preened he wasn't used to compliments, "Hey, what'd you say your name was?"

"I didn't," the boy mumbled, "It's Tim."

Tim. "Did we miss a fight," S'lobo grumbled as Anita's bubble popped around him, letting him, Cissie, and Anota down while Greta coalesced back into a solid form, shaking sand out of her hair. 

"Tomb raiders," Bart announced.

Anita groaned, "You serious, mon? C'mon, I haven't beat the shit outta someone in 4 days!"

She gave Tim a once over and brpught out her Emperor's Sticks. "You'll do," she decided.

Tim had a big metal stick, a bo staff. Kon wonders why he didn't use it before, instead choosing to jump off a whole cliff. Tim was good, light and fast and quick. He fought weirdly, like he was trying to sink in a shadow but couldn't. Anita cackled as they fell to a standstill, "We're keeping him!"

"I'm not a pet," Tim protested.

"You are now," Bart chirped, bringing out a spare set of goggles, "Wanna hang out with us?"

"We protect each other," Cassie interjected, "We're always by each other's sides. We fight together and we care for each other and we never leave one of our own behind. Sure, we do illegal shit and make dumb mistakes and blow crap up, but we're together."

Tim gave them all a look. "Are you guys a guild," he asked.

Cissie shook her head. "We left our guilds. Found each other. Guilds fucked us over."

Tim shrugged. "We can make our own. Won't be a legal one, but I think that doesn't matter here. Just us, then? A guild?"

And the final puzzle piece clicked in place. "Just us," Kon agreed.

They all shared a look.

"Just us."

Welcome home.

Chapter Text

Im,,,debating on having it be ALL of yj or just like,,,,from cissie to greta w/o anita bc id hate to exclude anita but anita also came on at a different time and then Lobo and S'lobo would not be there so i think it might be the og team- cissie, cassie, kon, bart, tim, greta, and supercycle. 

Yes supercycle is a character in this. Tim learned to drive on an alien tech ATV with a mostly indestructible team which also leads me to believe that he is a good driver he just drives like an insane person. The best car chase driver bc he drives like there are demons behind him to come personally set him on fire if he drives too slow. Only when hes wearing a mask tho as a 'regular' human being with a public persona he abides by the laws of the road and bites his tongue so he doesnt go crazy with road rage. 

Thats not related AT ALL damn

But yes, somehow og yj team get youth-enized by some evil wizard mf or whatever

And greta's smokey again!! Shes ominous and frightening and a portent of doom!!! Cissie's in her arrowette skirt!! Kon's shrunk and he's so much more corny and tim is,,,,small robin again and WHY is cassie into kon oh shit oh god oh fuck BART IS LESS IN CONTROL AND 5× MORE IMPULSIVE NO

Wally is standing there like "im vaguely im danger. Again." (Wally and Bart on sight cain-abel instincts are so funny to me. Yeah, thats EXACTLY what its like trust me, i have 50+ cousins). Dick is just 🥺 small robin tim??? Small robin tim for ME???? 🥺 

Except yj kids are there to cause problems on purpose

Tim, spotting damian: wait, is there a DIFFERENT ROBIN??? 

Bruce: i-

Tim: guys im im no longer attached to gotham 

Kon: oh SICK 

Greta: we get to keep you FOREVER????

Clark: guys wait-

Cissie: no shut up we're keeping him. Forever.

Dick: you guys cant-

Cassie: THEYRE GINNA TEAR US APART

Bart: SCATTER

Kon throws tim over his shoukder and starts booking it while tim starts whistling like hes summoning the hounds of hell purposefully

someone should get run over by the supercycle

I think it should be bruce

Tim should whistle up the supercycle and mow bruce over with it

Shdjdjdj its just a stupid series of wacky shenanigans as yj rove around world wide ehile the jla chase them to turn them back to normal while also dealing with aformentioned shenanigans. Bc NOBODY was expecting the alien tech flying car eith a ghost mode and ion canons

Yj think the jla is full of bodysnatchers bc EHY are they so concerned when they have yet to cause a national/international incident?

This one was super silly and short lol sorry just baby yj kids being menaces to everyone

Chapter Text

If yall havent guessed it from my music recs im a massive hozier fan. I cant NOT be. Its beautiful, the lyrics are fucking insane, the production quality is top notch, the vocals? The instrumentals??? God shit just fucking drown me in that shit forever im still obsessed with 'Work Song' and its been. Years. 

i can see tim being a hozier fan.

Here are my reasons:

He listens to Enya, enya being an irish artist. Hozier is also an irish artist.

He also reffed Alvin Ailey in yj98, who was an african american dancer/choreographer who founded the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre in 1958 and many of his productions drew on blues, gospel, and spirituals. Hozier's main inspiration is black artists and gospel, blues, and spirituals. Also??? Shouout to the most random alvin name the writers could find for tim to reference bc Alvin Ailey was an activist, a dancer, a choreographer, and also gay i do believe. Im sure the writers werent fully aware of this but if they WERE,,,,very good job lmao

Tim also is a fan of The Clash, which has a lot of themes of protest, which makes them punk bc of their socially conscious themes. Hozier, while not punk in style, embodies the punk spirit because of the political and protest themes of his music. Seriously, hozier makes major social commentary in his music and its themes (Eat Your Young My Beloved!! Super cunty, super political, and not at all shy abt it. Nina Cried Powrr pays homage to soo many political activists and its a gorgeous song w the lovely Mavis Staples) and he makes it sound like pure poetry being sung by a siren

Hozier's music is also massively popular w queer fans. Take Me to Church is fucking famous for its queer-themes and its protests against the church bc of a lot of anti-queer stuff. His song Francesca alone rocked queer people to the core for its beauty and the way it resonated with us, especially, it seems, the line 'Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I'. Look, the comic writers in the 90s accidentally had tim reffing a lot of queer stuff/struggles like with identity and shit, which is HILARIOUS out of universe when u get to thinking, but also this believes me to think Tin would be a Hozier enjoyer.

(I dont think he'd listen to taylor swift tbh) Tims music tastes follow, in the 90s, a lot more of the grungy-punk-indie style tho he does reff rap music too. Not hate to the swifties i just dont think itd fit in with Tims 'Depeche Mode, Moxy Fruvous, Enya, The Clash, Foo Fighters, Green Day' type beat (all musicians he was a fan of preboot). So, i firmly hc Tim a hozier enjoyer but i could also be projecting!! Thats just how things be!!

Chapter Text

Who knows why jason wants his missing allowance money? Does he wanna start a front business for his red hood goons? Does he just want to bug bruce? Maybe he wants a really expensive rocket launcher. Who knows but hes not just gonna fucking /ask/ for it are u kidding?

So. Kidnapping.

Damian is still being homeschooled and doesnt particularly seem to go out (that jason knows<---has no clue damians been climbing out to hang out w colin in their lil garage hangout place bc damian can NOT be in that manor 24/7 i think that might be deemed unethical solitary confinement) so damians out for kidnapping victim

Is jason willing to haul his cookies to bludhaven to kidnap dick? No thatll give dick teasing material for at least a month

Kidnap cass? Not even in his wildest fucking dreams lmao

So. Tim it is. 

Technically he succeeds for the first part

He just gets tim when tims literally just going out to grab something like a cookie or cat treats

Just fuckignn,,,snatches tim up by the back of his hoodie and plops him on the back of his motorcycle after sticking a helmet on

*takes tim to obligatory spooky warehouse*

Tim: Jason be so serious rn, wtf are you doing

Jason: this is for ransom, be silent or i sit on you

Tim probably plays along w it for a bit just bc wtf is happening also bc if he so much as fake wails, he KNOWS what could probably happen and hes saving that in case this goes on too long and he gets bored

Tims so fucking petty abt this tho he should be a little hater throughout this whole debacle

Tim: god i can smell the Issues (tm) through the stench of this place. just use ur words u big fucking lump

Tim: dude i dont think i let him save my number to his phone ngl

Jason: why???

Tim: bc i get kidnapped a lot and its honestly kind of obnoxious to have so many outgoing calls to him. Id rather explode than do a phone call 

Jason: you do phonecalls w ur friends all the time???

Tim: we've transcended the anxiety of phonecalls thats what happens when u get traumatized w a group of ppl over a niche trauma

Jason: You're so fucked up in the head

Tim: pot, kettle

Eventually jason gets his call through to brice and hes gearing up for his big dramatic speech and all u hear is "tim? Is this about something i did w the paperwork?"

Jason: no tim, im afraid. U have the red hood- 

Bruce: jason? Impossible. Jason would never call. Is this Impulse? Tim, is this a prank call?

Tim in the bg: YEAH IT IS 

Bruce: *hangs up*

Jason just fucking slowly turns around and tim just has the most massive shit eating grin ever

Jason takes one (1) step towards tim and tim just fucken DROPS to the floor and screams dramatically and like .3 seconds later jasons on the fucking ceiling 

Ttk win, jason is no longer within gravitational control

Tim is backpacking kon w his hands on kons eyes like "dont actually kill him, he just kidnapped me for funsies lmao"

Kon: okay but what if he started kicking ur ass

Tim: id set him on fucking fire lol

Kon: i can set him on fire 

Tim: i know, kon

Kon: i have laser vision

Tim: i know, kon

Jason, getting spun around over their heads like cotton candy in a cotton candy machine: either let me down rn or actually kill me i hate this

All silly business tbh but like,,,,itd be so funny,,,to me

Anyways cringefail kidnapper jason

Chapter Text

      Tim watches Bart carve out the stamp. A 'y' and a 'j' turned on their sides to make a very weird infinity sign. "We're young and just us," Bart had said, "That should be our guild name. Young and Just Us."

And nobody had any better ideas, so, Young and Just Us was what they decided to be. "Oh," Cassie realized, "We need magic ink."

Tim sorted through his key ring for a particular golden key."I think I can help with that," he said, "Open Gate of the sixth sign, Virgo."

The faint golden glow of his magic sign gleamed as he held the key up and twisted, a soft clicking sound echoing out as he unlocked the door. Callie's form glittered into existence. She looked like a normal girl, glasses and short hair she had dyed reddish-orange, a regular sweatshirt on with jeans and sneakers. Her glasses, however, were branded with Virgo's constellation and her freckles pulsed with the slight glow of the stars that simmered under her human-like skin. She was no human, not at all. "Hey. Timbo," she greeted, "You finally summoning one of us to use to protect you? Like we're supposed to."

Tim winced; to be fair if Kon hadn't caught him, he'd have summoned Ariana and asked her to carry him off to land safely away from the tomb raiders. "Uhh, no," he admitted, "I was gonna ask if you had any magic ink?"

Callie raised her eyebrows judgementally but reached into her hoodie pocket and produced a small jar of magic ink. He'd left it with her last time he'd had to rush to put away his W&W campaign. His dad thought W&W was...queer stuff. He wasn't sure why, but to his dad it just was and Tim wasn't exactly super down to deal with that ever so he just...hid it. And his keys. His dad had no clue Tim was a wizard, much less a key wizard. His mom and dad had had no idea that Tim was stealing the keys they collected from temples and stored away in their private collection, only for Tim to sneak them away, his precious friends being hidden in every suitcase he dragged behind him to boarding school and in the darkest corners of his bedroom. Tim was certain that he'd had some Celestial Key wizard ancestor long, long ago but key wizards were dying out these days, more stories than wizards that used to exist, and the keys these days were more artefacts than mediums. "Thank you, Callie," Tim grinned.

She put Tim in a headlock and buried her knuckles into the crown of his head. "Summon us," she demanded, "Or I'll ask Ari to swirlie you next chance she gets."

"Okay, okay," Tim relented, and Callie released him.

She disappeared in a shower of gold. Tim turmed around with the bottle of magic ink. "I got it," he announced proudly.

Bart visibly buzzed, the wind around him stirring and pulsing with the dark red flashes of magic circle sigils that Bart seemed to have very little control over. It's like he can't shut his magic off, a spigot turned to full blast. And somehow, he never seems to tire. It's so strange to Tim, but that seems par for the course now. "Dude! Was-that-what-summoning-looks-like-How-much-power-does-that-take-Do-you-have-to-have-certain-conditions-to-make-a-summoning-happen," Bart chattered, eyes blazing with a deep curiosity that sparked excitement in Tim's chest, because he had done so many tests and trials and had nobody to share his results with but someone was asking and Tim could share.

"It really depends on the key. I can only open the Aquarius gate in water, but the others, I just need enough time to activate the key," Tim explained, "And I have to abide by our summoning contract. I can't summon them on certain days when their power's weakened unless I'm, like, dying. Doesn't matter too much because I've got this."

Tim brandished his bo staff. He'd have used it, if not for the gunslinger wizard. Bo staffs and bullets don't seem to mix all that well. To Tim, at least, or maybe that's just his barest sense of self preservation working overtime. "Who taught you to use it," Anita asked, "Because you've got skills with that, mon."

Tim shrugged. "She said her name was Lady Shiva. She was a shadow wizard of some kind but she usually fought magic-less. She took me in and taught me on the road for several months when I...decided to travel."

Lady Shiva hadn't been a name he'd heard in any of the famous wizard catalogues but King Snake had been somewhat scared of Tim's mentor. And Tim had been scared of her when they parted ways, her hand outstretched and words playing on the lilt of her voice. "Won't you stay with me and be my weapon? I did make you, after all."

Tim had backed away and she let him leave, but only because she let him. Shiva was terrifying...and she made him think of his mom, sometimes. The others nodded understandingly at his traveling comment. "Uh, also, here," Kon offered, holding out a pair of opaquely tinted goggles, the frame of them dark green. 

"What's this for," Tim questioned, flipping over the goggles, studying the steampunk-esque design. 

"Welllll," Cassie laughed nervously, "We kinda...don't want anybody to know what we really look like? So we hide ourselves a bit? They're charmed so they blur our faces up a bit."

Tim slipped them on his head. Perfect. "Well, an illegal guild can't exactly go around showing off their faces," Tim accepted.

"Ink time," Cissie announcer, showing off her pale pink guild mark on the inside of her left wrist that Cassie had stamped on. 

Cassie took the stamp, pressing it against the back of her left hand, the color shining a dark bronze where Cissie pressed it on. She offered it to Anita, who lifted her shirt and pressed it against the left side of her lower ribs, the mark gleaming a deep magenta where Cissie marked it. S'lobo, who'd been busying himself with making something out of stones, grabbed the stamp and punched it in black ink over his left eye. "No point in being an illegal guild if I let fuck all see the damn mark," he reasoned, "I want all the other fragging idiots to know what's going on here."

He tossed it to Greta, whose hands shimmered into a dusty mist briefly before she turned fully corporeal, the magic ink turning into a soft white outlined in dark grey as Anita pressed it against her left bicep. Greta passed the stamp to Bart, who rolled up his sleeve and let Kon leave a dark yellow mark on his shoulder. "Can you get this for me," Kon asked, pulling up the back of his shirt to show his left shoulder blade. 

Tim took the stamp, pressing it in ink before pushing the stamp against Kon's shoulder blade in deep blue. The ink sank deep under all of their skin, mixing into their flesh like a birthmark. Tim was the only one left. He pulled down the collar of his shirt and let more ink drip onto the press of the stamp. "I'll get it," Kon volunteered, and his skin was warm where he pressed his thumb against Tim's chin to tilt his head back, the cool shiver of magic threading through Tim's heart when the stamp pressed into his left collarbone. 

It was a deep red, he'd later find. An odd infinity symbol that could trace down to his heart. He felt something click and snap into place as the stamp peeled away from his skin, a soft cloak of pressure slipping around him. Guild mark bonding, Tim thought as he felt the magic roll beneath his skin and sinking into his bones. It filled up some empty, cavernous puncture in his chest. "So," Cassie started, "Look what I got from that last guild we stopped by!"

She brandished a paper. It was a request for getting rid of some weird artefact that was turning people into monsters at a dig site. "Let's go," Greta cheered, her feet shimmering into dust.

"THIS WAS A VERY BAD IDEAAAA!"

      Tim gripped the handles of the car-thing that was zipping through the air, Bart and S'lobo whooping wildly as Cissie clung to Anita, hollering. Greta swirled around the car, pulling fruitlessly on the tires while Cassie and Kon tried to bully the car back down to the ground. He squeezed his eyes shut, heart pounding furiously against his ribcage while the wind stung his cheeks. His goggles were on but he didn't wanna open them. He'd been high up before but never so far in the sky that the land below was a formless landscape. "Please go down," Tim grit out, his lips cracking as he pried them apart, the pressed together flesh melding together and splitting, leaving a burning sting to ache across his mouth.

A jerk in the air had his stomach roiling as the car crashed down to earth, the wheel still spinning and kicking up dirt underneath. His eyes pried open and he sighed at the trees surrounding them. There was a flash and Bart was flinging himself off the side, his feet hitting the ground and outpacing the car with ease. "Where's this thing going," Cassie called.

"No clue," he shouted back, "Just let the car drive and hope we don't die!"

A mountain loomed in the distance, a perilous, condemning shape. The car, magical for certain, raced forwards towards it.

     Tim clicked his tomgue, softly beckoning to the car Kon had insisted was called Supercycle, "C'mon, we can all have fun and go places and do all kinds of things if we stay together!"

The car whimpered like a puppy as it balked from the demon-looking guy and bounced forward towards Tim. "Yay," Greta cheered, "Good Supercycle!"

Bart zipped around the demon guy and started yanking his hair, jeering and poking him. Cissie started whooping, "Our car now! Snooze you lose, shithead!"

Tim pat the hood of the Supercycle, the metal warm under his palm. They were going places.

There were the guild masters of each major guild clustered around a table. There was Kal-El of the now fallen empire of Krypton, often called Clark, master of the Super Guild, Diana of the hidden magical island of Amazonian warriors, Themiscyra, women devoted to the Old Gods and gained their magic powers of them, Diana having set off to establish her own guild, the Wonder Guild. There was Oliver Queen, from a formerly noble family that Oliver renounced to pursue magic, of the Arrow Guild. Barry, who only realized he had magic when he was a younger man and set out to find his brother, Don, and sister, Dawn, who he'd been separated from at a young age on accident, of the Flash Guild. There was, attending that day, Kyle Rayner of Team Green from the Lantern Guild. And, of course, Bruce, whose family was of knights and wizards and justice, turned detective and bore the crest of his justice-driven family, whose private guild was open only to the closest friends of his children and his own children, adopted or otherwise, the master of the Bat Guild. They surrounded a lacrima, an orb that projected the image of the long sleeping demon of the ancient Demon magicks that had been locked away years ago, Bedlam. Bedlam towered over the small seaside town of Happy Harbor, dark curse magic rising and expanding. Then, out of the blue, came a small team of very young looking people. Zatanna, of her own private family guild, the Zatara Guild, observed that the goggles, masks, and glasses they wore were all charmed to obscure their exact features. They were a small, rogue guild. And their powers were immense. Brilliant flashes of magic, intense beams of energy. Bedlam, an S class threat, fell. The lacrima focused in on the marking on a young woman's hand- an odd infinity sign comprised of a lowercase y and a lowercase j. A small rogue guild of powerful young teens. Impressionable young teens. Dangerous young teens. "They're dangerous," Arthur of the Atlantean Guild accused.

"They are," Diana agreed, "They are young. They have potential."

"They took out a whole demon," Barry pointed out, "Like, 60 stories high, curse magic radiation, kills people by sapping their youth and strength kinda demon. Who's watching them?"

"Nobody," Bruce growled, "They're each other's guild masters. It's entirely a group of children."

"Bring them under us," Oliver suggested, "Separate them, make them guild members. Put 'em under supervision and make sure Lex Luthor or that one creep of your's, Ra's or whatever, doesn't get them. Keep them safe, keep everyone else safe, easy peasy."

"They could be tried in front of us as the acting Wizard Council for being an illegal guild. There's no paperwork of guild recognition for any 'YJ'," Kyle said thoughtfully, "Taking them in as probationary guild members to keep them under watch could be what they serve instead of the fines and stuff."

Kal-El frowned. "Will we be putting the search on pause for this? Because I won't stop mine, not till we find Kon-El."

Barry grimaced. Cassandra Sandsmark of the Wonder Guild disappeared 8 months ago. A month before that, so did his nephew, Bart Allen. Then, just a few weeks later, Cissie King-Jones, on the fringes of the Arrow Guild as her parents were minor members, also disappeared. The one who'd been gone the longest was Kon-El, at 10 months of disappearance. From minor non-wizard guilds, a mercenary guild, a young man named S'lobo disappeared. Then, from a Spy Guild, the daughter of a Spy Master went missing, Anita Fite. From a weaver's guild, Greta Hayes vanished. Clark had been searching tirelessly for Kon-El, but there were no sightings. No trace of any of the kids, all of them only 16-17, Greta being the youngest at 15. Cassie, Bart, and Kon were tied for eldest teens to go missing. "We'll keep looking, Kal," Bruce rumbled, much more softly, "But these kids need to be brought to us. To protect everyone, including them."

"You just wanna add to your hoard of kids," Oliver accused lightly. 

Bruce said nothing, but his glare was sharp. He checked his phone. "Wizard Council meeting adjourned," he muttered, "I have a contract request. Missing teen."

With a sweep of his cloak, the wizard deemed The Dark Knight vanished. "Watch out, YJ," Zatanna murmured as she brushed her fingers against her lacrima, "They're on your tail."

The faces of the kids were indiscerable, but it was plain as day that they were laughing, wild and raucous and free. 

Chapter Text

Greta was returned to life by Darkseid, as we all know

And she goes to the Elias school, she lives a normal human life

Its just,,,,she became a Death Guardian for a reason. She was always going to. Its part of her soul. She didnt know it. But she was.

And being incorporeal has,,,its effects

She gets a therapy dog named Lovebug

She dresses in floaty clothes and sits with her feet off the floor

Greta still turns her head to answer everytime she hears Secret or Suzie 

Greta feels out of touch with the world sometimes. Like she lost her human anchor to this world

So when she starts feeling weird, shen her eyes start glowing green, when she starts turning between ghost and human, she's...almost glad?

Like. Shes still alive. Greta is still a brrathing living person. But she needs to go guide lost souls to their afterlife. She can turn into her sandy ghost form and Greta feels terrible because she actually sort of missed it. Being a human and being a ghost at the same time feels right

Well, Greta isnt actually a ghost. She just looks that way. Shes,,,i forgot what theyre called in the comics besides like Death Guardians  but essentially shes a psychopomp. Its her job to guide souls to the afterlife as a psychopomp and she takes her Secret form to perform her duties. 

Ofc at first she flips shit like oh my god is she dying???? Is she dead??? Nope. She just walked the line between life and death too hard and fucked up the line so now shes living on a different level. She exists in both. Shes a soul guide. Shes a teenage girl. She sees death and speaks omens. She changes her fave color every week and calls her group of best friends every Saturday. 

Greta wont go back to being a hero. Thats not for Greta. But if she can show the lost souls some kindness and take them to where they must go, thats enough of heroics for her

Greta doesnt tell anyone for a while till she figures it out but she eventually tells Traya  Traya can tell Cissie, who asks if she can tell Anita, Anita then is allowed to mention it to Cassie, who is allowed to tell Tim, who is permitted to tell Kon, who then checks to see if its cool if he tells Bart. And bart runs over and is like "ur a ghost again????!!!!" 

They hash out the details p quick. They dont need to tell anyone else tho

Thats their Secret.

Chapter Text

Siren Tim

My friend katachresis has been playing idea pingpong with me on this one so pls say thanks to them for doing that with me lmao

We were talking about what kind of tail tim would have and I need everyone to know he’s like 8 feet long except he’s, like, mostly tail, and a good 1-1 and ½ feet of that tail length is fin because this Tim is inspired by a light pink rosetail betta fish

Why pink? I fucking love pink so much. I fucking love Tim so much. Why not? 

Katachresis suggested he have like,,,lavender tinting to go with the pink to offset the gold (not goldfish gold but like,,,gold. You understand). And they are entirely correct. So he’s light-pink and gold, but there’s lavender tinting to his scales. He has frilly ear fins, elbow fins, and then he’s got the long flowy tail fins. Think of organza for the texture of his fins and how flowy they are. He also has webbing between his fingers.

He’s got scales speckling across his cheekbones, neck, chest, tummy, back, arms, and the backs of his hands. 

He’s got fucken gills baybeeeee

So. I must immediately bring up that jack is not the father in this au lmao i know some of you are Very Happy about that

Tim’s father is actually another siren. Bc. Siren Janet. You know how it is. She still married jack, she just…timed jack having extensive business trips with a pregnancy developing and convinced him that tim was his while she had actually just. Hooked up with another siren. 

Sirens are pretty, like, solitude people? They are very comfy with being on their own. Some form lifelong partnerships with others but it’s not often. Tim’s a weirdo siren who decided he Really Likes People. 

Sirens don’t really raise their young. They lay their eggs on their ‘territories’ (patches of ocean they usually stick around that other sirens recognize as belonging to a siren. Like having a house with a backyard/frontyard.) and the fry hatch. They meet their siren parents maybe once or twice, only so that the parents may ingrain knowledge and fear of hunters into them before the fry leave. 

By siren standards, Janet is actually an excellent parent. Jack is still Jack. 

Siren fry spend quite some time not speaking while they develop their knowledge and capabilities and understanding of language. They can speak at around,,,6/7 years old. Tim’s teachers and Jack had a hard time understanding Tim’s silence. Janet just was like ‘average minnow (child siren) behaviour, mind your business you silly humans’.

Janet and Tim are a few of the handful of the descendants of siren families who moved to the land centuries ago to hide better from hunters. They both wear special pearl charm necklaces that keep them human/hide their siren like features. 

Lol Young Justice find out Tim’s a siren soooo much longer before the Bats learn (Cass knows. Btw. She finds out because I say so.)

I should mention that Tim as a siren has long hair. Why? Well, i love tim with long hair but also his hair works like catfish whiskers do, so barbels. Tim’s senses are excellent but his hair also helps him navigate murkier waters. Very long and fine, though, it’s like actual hair. It’s just. Not actual hair tho lmao

Tim refuses to swim in Gotham Bay because holy fuck is it nasty in there

Sirens use their voices to hunt, and they didn’t intentionally develop so other sophonts would be susceptible to the magic of their voices but oh well

Tim’s teeth are like shark teeth in that they are constantly growing and replacing lost teeth. Pre-reveal, Bruce is wondering how TIm has never needed mouth surgery for replacement teeth. He doesn’t know tim just….fucking grows new ones lol

Tim never takes off the pearl charm for obvious reasons. Even in the suit.

Sirens can manipulate their voices to effect people with the intentions behind their song, but their baseline song is basically just a ‘come here to me’ song they use to lure in prey

Sirens’ main prey is fish, but they’ll also eat seals, sea lions, sharks, killer whales, eels, all sorts of marine life. They have sharp teeth :)

There are particular individuals who are susceptible to becoming addicted to Siren Songs, notably those who have been…dipped in the Pit :)

God tim hated his Brucequest even more because he had to constantly worry about Ra’s finding out about him being a siren

Mer are actually the sirens’ deep sea dwelling cousins who have fucking sea-through bioluminescent skin and shit. So beautiful,,,,,

Siren grief is very potent. Their grief songs can drive nearly anyone to madness, cause them to die of actual heartbreak, and when sirens cry while singing a mourning song, their tears will become cursed pearls. Tim has created. Quite a number of cursed pearls.

Sirens have claws :)

Siren songs can make listeners feel sympathetic emotions, i.e. sympathy sadness, happiness, anger, fear

Sirens don’t really like eating humans. Too…gamey. 

Tim sitting in his giant tub in the Nest, clutching a raw chicken that he’s wolfing down

Rip tim, his siren stomach isn’t adapted to eating dairy and sugar so he can only have little amounts of it. He hates that the ocean never developed anything like sugarcane so he could guzzle zesti to his heart’s content

Most fruits/veggies/white meats are fine, and he can handle red meat fairly well. Raw fish is best though, and cooked fish is great as well. He can eat meat raw, though he usually cooks it for the sake of his human disguise. He loves sushi. Really, really loves sushi. 

You know how clown fish can switch up their sexes? Yeah sirens can alter their sex organs as well, if they wanna. Sirens don’t care about sexes and gender, they can fucking breathe underwater and have magical, alluring voices. 

When Cissie finds out, she and Bart make Tim a sea shell bra lol

Cissie is also horrified that she’s the only actual normal human on the team/associated with the team

Anita: Bruh

Cissie: You do magic. You’re disqualified

Traya: Hey :(

Cissie: Correction, Traya and I are the only normal ones associated with this team

Oh my god you have no clue how Pissed damian is that tim is so Aesthetique in siren form and he can’t ask to paint tim so he just. Stares and tries to memorize what tim looks like as a siren to try and repaint him later

Damian, staring at his watercolour of Tim: I am a failure and I should die

Bruce: Are??? You Okay??

Damian: Hatred upon the earth. No. 

Jason. Uh. He’s not coping so well. He heard tim sing one (1) time, his brain was released of all its turmoil and anguish for like half a minute, and now he’s desperately craving that high 

Kon is. Very normal about siren tim lmao. He’s soooo fine and okay. Most normal guy around (bart is making fun of him and quoting that ‘He fucked a fish. He did not fuck a fish. He wanted to fuck a fish’. line from Twisted all the time.)

Sirens have spleens, tim still lost his spleen rip timmy

Bruce replaces the pool water with salt water in hopes of trying to lure tim back to the Manor, if only for the pool and nothing else

Tim has a huge bathtub and he likes to fill it up and sleep in it

Dick thinks Tim is soooo cute when he hunts, meanwhile Bruce is a little horrified over Tim ripping a fish head off and getting blood all over his mouth and arms and neck and Jason’s like “uhhh nope. Fuck no”. Damian’s studying Tim like an ichthyologist and Cass is also in the water. She wanted to swim.

Tim drives out of Gotham to go to his ‘territory’ to hunt. Janet and the other Drake sirens actually kept a family ‘territory’ of ocean, and also they keep treasure troves in their territory of artifacts from shipwrecks, doubloons, treasure, pearls, and all sorts of shit

Janet never told Jack she and Tim were sirens

Janet actually was killed by siren hunters before Tim went out to look for Dick to get him to become Robin

Jack still died to Captain Boomerang though

Died never knowing those secrets. 

Ra’s eventually finds out about Tim being a siren. He’s…normal. Yikes. 

Chapter Text

Jason takes a drag off his cigarette and releases the smoke up into the air, back pressed up against the concrete. It’s not too chilly tonight, but it’s still so goddamn foggy he can’t tell where the smoke ends and the fog begins. He’s waiting. Copying Tim’s handwriting was a helluva lot harder than he thought it’d be, but he’d say he did a pretty good job of it. All he’s gotta do is hope who he’s waiting for will show up. There’s a sudden odd pressure that sits on Jason’s skin, sending a prickle run up his skin through the kevlar armor. Fuck, he hates the feeling, whatever it is. A shadow cuts through the gloom, city lights reflecting off of round red glasses. God, what kinda douche wears sunglasses at night? 

“I know you’re there,” Supernova (Supernova's a dumb name in Jason's opinion, but marginally better than Superboy) announces as he sets down on the rooftop, all too casually pinning his gaze on Jason, like the shadows that Jason's been standing in are just a regular patch of sunlight. 

Jason’s guns shift in their holsters, though they’re absolutely useless in this situation. Still, shooting the kid once or twice would send a point. 

“I ain’t Tim,” Jason replies smugly, “Wrong bird.”

Supernova doesn’t look at all fazed, and it pisses Jason off quite a bit. The jackass has the goddamn guts to scoff at him, and the weight that’s settled on Jason’s skin uncomfortably suddenly feels so much more present, like fire ants are swarming his flesh.

“I already knew that,” Supernova says dismissively, picking at the dark red nail polish on his fingernails, “You copied Tim’s mission report handwriting and used a yellow sticky note. Tim hates using yellow sticky notes. He uses the purple sticky notes with little ice cream cones in the corners that Greta gave him to leave me reminders and he dots the i’s with stars when he knows I’ll be the only one reading them.”

What the fuck? Who even remembers that kinda shit? Jason flips one of his guns out of the holster, flicking the safety off and holding it up so the muzzle is eye level to Supernova. 

“Alright, fine, lemme just cut to the chase,” Jason sneers, “If you wanna date Tim, you can’t go without dealing with a couple shovel talks.”

Supernova stares, and for one second, the city seems entirely silent. Then Supernova doubles over, his shoulders shaking with booming guffaws that make Jason’s eye twitch.

“The fuck are you laughing about,” Jason spits.

His cigarette suddenly crumples between his fingers, the ashes scattering across the roof. Jason hears his safety click on even though he hasn’t flicked it back on, and then, with soft, metallic clinks, every bit of his gun falls apart. Screws, metal scraps, bullets. The gun disassembles in Jason’s hand, useless bits lying at his feet. He draws the other one, and it does the same. The corpses of his weapons curl and crush up like paper in a fist. The unsettling pressure on his skin, that feeling of ants dancing up and down his body, is suddenly like a vice. He can’t move, save for breathing. Supernova smirks, a look that Superman wouldn’t sport in the slightest but this ain’t the big blue boy scout that Jason’s dealing with. 

“Man,” Supernova wheezes, wiping nonexistent tears from his eyes, “You? Give me a shovel talk? That’s a really stupid joke.”

He straightens up suddenly, and he’s not laughing anymore. That vice on Jason’s body feels like it’s squeezing, crushing, just a touch away from mushing Jason into human jam right on this shitty, water-stained rooftop. Supernova slowly stalks forward, stopping when he and Jason are a few inches apart. Supernova doesn’t wanna get closer, looking at Jason over the tops of his glasses like Jason’s a bug. He looks human but Jason forgot that this fucker’s part non-terrestrial, and he’s got a power no other Super has. That damn power slipped his mind cuz Tim didn’t take it seriously, didn’t treat it like a threat. Nobody did. 

“Tim knows how to handle himself. He doesn’t need anyone to handle his relationships for him when he can do it on his own. And for you, you of all people, to tell me to not hurt Tim is so dumb that my brain hurts,” Supernova says, the corners of his mouth curling into an almost-sneer, but Jason apparently isn’t important enough for his full ire.

The crushing weight on Jason releases, and he falls to his knees, limbs shaking. Fuck, he hated that. Supernova’s feet float off the ground, but he doesn’t fly away just yet. 

“Instead of giving me a shovel talk, why don't you just keep playing with your guns,” Supernova warns with a vague gesture to the crumpled metal sitting in a puddle before he takes off, “It’ll be less of a waste of time.”

Chapter Text

          Janet is raised equally on land and in the sea. Her mother is obligated by their farce of being a human to raise her with her human husband, though the man isn’t Janet’s sire and he’s dead by the time she’s 8. He had tried to choke her, and her mother saw. Janet only started breathing a bit easier on land when that man was dead, when he couldn’t breathe. Still, taking in the toxic air that surrounds Gotham feels like inhaling car fumes on purpose. Janet grows, and though she marries a human man, she feels no urge to create a human-siren offspring. During the second courtship month, the unbearable July humidity drives her into the sea and she meets a siren. A buck, as the Atlantean approximation would translate the word that suits the counterpart to her being a doe, and he’s quite eye-catching. Brassy, intense gold and vivid pink color his scales, and the voice in which he sings a flirtatious courtship offer is exquisite. Their coupling ends with her deciding to reproduce their spawn, though they aren’t a life partnership. That’s fine with her; she has no plans to make a life partnership with anyone. She grows and carries the egg for a year like all doe sirens, passing off her six months of pregnancy as 3 months of a human pregnancy, and not a human can tell otherwise since the egg develops so slowly. Jack chatters on and on about having a son, what sports he’ll direct the tyke towards, the plans he’s got. All this occurs in between the extensive trips he’s jetting off to that Janet organizes. He makes it so hard to try and breathe deep and easy with all his chattering taking up the air.

The night that she gives birth, Janet is alone. Jack is somewhere in South America, just as she planned, and it means she has the car to herself. She’s only in a robe and her pearl necklace when she slips into the front seat and revs the engine. One thing that the sea admittedly does not have that the land does is cars, and it’s unfortunately enjoyable to press hard on the gas pedal as she tears down empty streets, only slowing once she reaches the barren stretch of land far enough outside Gotham that she doesn’t have to worry about the horrid bay sludge. Still wrapped in her robe, she steps into the water till it’s up to her neck, and she unclasps the pearl charm. Slipping beneath the water, Janet breathes . Her fins unfurl and her scales dance up her body, pale blue and faint white mottling her fins like a children’s book’s version of idyllic sea foam, the colors twining with the glittering soft silver of her scales. Janet idly snags a fish between her teeth as she swims further out to sea, into her territory. There is a set of sea caves on her territory that her mother left her, the place where all Drake sirens have been birthed. It’s also where their treasure trove resides, an archaeologist’s greatest dream. She smirks to herself at the thought of hiding it all from Jack, who would no doubt poorly invest the thousands of years of collection she and her ancestors have painstakingly curated. Janet lays on a gathering of kelp and seaweed in the cave, staring up as the egg leaves her body with faint traces of blood. She rests for a few hours, and when the egg begins to crack, she gathers it in her arms. Her slightly sore body pushes upwards to the air pocket in the cave, and the shell slowly falls away as they journey upwards. She breaches the surface as the final piece of the shell falls away. Staring up at the crystals overhead that glitter more divinely than the stars, the water pouring from their bodies, she and her baby breathe .

       Tim does not cry, which Jack is uncomfortable with, but Janet does not find any issue in it. If Tim had been a human-siren, then the child may have cried, but as Tim is a siren, he does not. Siren fry have no urge to cry for help, as they are far more capable and dangerous than any silly human baby. Jack should be thankful, in Janet’s opinion, he doesn’t have to deal with a screaming, wailing human child. While Jack sleeps on the stupid leather couch in his study, Janet gathers Tim in her arms. Her fry looks exactly like her already, though the black of his hair is from his sire. Still, she can pass that off as being inherited from her own mother, and Jack doesn’t question it even as he complains about Tim not resembling him at all. Janet fills the bathtub with cool water and undresses Tim. The pearl charm rests against his tiny baby chest, but she does not remove it. He can still breathe, even with it on. He’s only meant to look close to humans, not actually be human with the charm. Her fry inhales deeply as he sinks below the water in the tub. He breathes.

       Tim listens as the vocal instructor shows him how to breathe, slowly copying the movements. The teachers at school are still lodging complaints with Janet about how Tim refuses to speak. Janet waves off the complaints. Her fry won’t be getting to speaking till he’s six or seven, and right now, he’s only five. Still, that’s no excuse to wait to learn the techniques needed to sing, just as it is no excuse for Tim to not begin to learn the basics in a few languages: Atlantean of course, Sirenic (though that’s just clicks, trills, chirps, and screeches), English naturally, and French. She debates on adding Mandarin and Cantonese to his lessons, but Jack is already fussing about Tim’s lack of speech and all the language and vocal lessons she’s put Tim in. 

“He can’t even speak, Jannie,” Jack argues, “What’s the good in making him learn this crap?”

He gestures to the music sheets Tim’s studying. 

Janet flicks her hand dismissively.

“He needs to know how to breathe.”

Janet sings, her voice harsh and grating as she bleeds out. The shredded corpses of 11 hunters litter the water and rocky sand, but the 12th had gotten her. Blood trickles down the retreating man’s neck from his ears, and she laughs as the cursed song already begins to slowly decay that trash from the inside out. Her last gift to him. The fish she had gathered for her minnow litter the ground, crusted with rocks and useless to eat. Dammit. She’s dying, her stomach empty and so is her minnow’s. The hunters had kept them from eating, knowing those bastards were lurking near their territory had made it too difficult to hunt. She risked it, driven by hunger and Tim’s lethargic movements. Her body shudders with one last breath.

       Tim runs, his legs burning and inhaling deeply. He can smell the blood, and he sees the bodies littered across the water first. Then, the bodies on the ground. Then, he sees her. She’s already gone, he knows. Too much blood. She died fighting. He sees the fish on the ground, and that, for some reason, is what makes him stop running, stop breathing. The bodies of the hunters have to be taken care of first. He gathers the littered pieces, and laughs emptily  when he sees his mother’s claw and teeth marks in their ripped flesh. Some of them drowned, and Janet had just ripped into their skin to make a point. He drags each limb and bloated corpse off into a pile and lets them remain there for the time being. Tim then kneels by his mother’s body, and begins to drag her to the water. Unclasping both of their necklaces, Tim swims. He can smell the faint traces of his mother’s shampoo and perfume. He swims, swims, swims, trying to breathe those last scents of her. He gets out far enough and, with his claws, digs into her rib cage. Her bones crack, flesh squelching wetly, parting for his fingers till her unbeating heart is revealed. Tim licks his salt-stained lips as he pries the heart from his mother’s chest.

“And- and I cherish this memory,” he sings, trying to recall the song his mother taught him, “And I carry your memory. Oh, I do remember this, I do remember you. Be free, to the Abyss, to the Sea, to our Mother’s open arms. Not even bones shall remain. Only the memory of you.”

His voice does not crack, even as pearls roll down his cheeks and settle in the empty cavity of her chest where her heart once was. Opening his mouth wide, Tim bites into the heart, blood dripping down his arms, his fingers, his chin, to pool in the water and wash away with the current. Not even bones, not even blood. With each bite, more pearls drip down his cheeks and his empty stomach fills. When the last bite of heart passes his lips, Tim chokes on the sob threatening to tear from his throat. He can feel it, that gentle coolness in his heart. His mother gifted him 12 years to spend with her, and she gave him the blessing to eat her heart, and the last vestiges of her. Tim swims down, collecting seaweed and kelp and rocks. He ties the heavy stones to her body, her tail weighed with four and her limbs weighed with three on each arm. Tim watches his mother sink, swimming with her body as far as he can. He holds her cold hand. He doesn’t want to let go. He wants to keep holding on. He lets go, and one last pearl drips into the space where her heart should be. Her body sinks into the deep, and he can see her no more. Tim swims upwards, and when he breaches the surface alone, he can’t do anything but breathe to stave off the screams.

        Tim tips Bruce into the bathtub, the man still clothed in compression shorts and an undershirt, but that’s fine with Tim. He doesn’t wanna see Bruce’s gross, old human-man bits any time soon. 

“You gotta work with me, Mr. Wayne. I’m 13 and you’re, like, triple me in size. I can only push you around so much before I need cooperation,” Tim pants, turning on the shower faucet and adjusting the temperature. 

Predictably, Bruce does not even bother to help Tim with washing his own hair. Tim scrubs the man’s scalp, and briefly wishes he could shift his claws out. Tim pushes, pokes, pinches, and prods at Bruce till he staggers out of the tub on his own once Tim is done, and Tim winces at the huge puddles Bruce leaves across the floor. He takes care of all the water on the floor while Bruce blearily wrangles himself into dry clothes. His pajama shirt isn’t buttoned right and he’s managed to tear a hole in the pajama pants at the waistband but Tim decides this is a success overall. Tim tucks Bruce in bed, patting the towel across Bruce’s head till his hair is only damp instead of dripping wet. Tim settles into the arm chair as Bruce stares emptily at the ceiling. Ah. Another lullaby night. Tim stands up so he can slide Bruce’s eyelids shut and straightens his back. Even with the pearl charm, Tim thinks he can manage a little sirensong if he forces it. Tim takes a deep breath, and begins to lull Bruce to sleep.

         It takes forever for Bruce to notice the pearl charm that dangles on Tim’s neck, the pearl settling against the hollow of his throat. 

“It was…it was my mother’s,” Tim admits, rubbing the slightly gold-sheened pearl between his thumb and forefinger.

The pearl charm he had originally was stored away safely, along with a number of other small things that Janet had owned. Rings, bracelets, earrings, and her favourite dress, along with her favourite books, maps, a beloved compass, and an old compact mirror she’s had for as long as Tim can remember. He’s hidden them in places where Jack can’t find them, and he’s prepared to take them with him should he need to go anywhere for either extended periods of time or on a permanent relocation basis. Of course, considering his father has been taking off for even longer, more often ever since Tim’s mother died, Tim doesn’t need to put a lot of effort into hiding the things. Bruce’s face softens, just enough that Tim can see it. 

“You should take it off during training,” Bruce grumbles.

Tim knows Bruce wouldn’t sell him out to hunters but…a siren can never be careful enough. He keeps wearing it, the pearl charm kissing the hollow of his throat underneath his shirts. He feels it every time he breathes.

         Spoiler grabs Tim’s face for a kiss and he yanks away. She laughs, and Tim bites his tongue. Dating humans is not a priority of his right now. Besides, his mom always warned him of the dangers of loving humans, told him cautionary tale of his grandmother who loved her human husband, a man who blamed her for not being able to have children only for Janet to come as a product of engaging in courtship with another siren, his grandmother’s human husband coming to suspect Janet wasn’t his and retaliating. Tim’s grandmother killed her husband for trying to kill Tim’s mom, and it broke his grandmother’s heart. Tim wishes he and Spoiler could just be friends, but if she keeps trying to kiss him, he can’t have that. Tim tilts his head to the side. Oh. that could work. Tim lures Stephanie to the docks one night, and disappears into the water. She searches for him, and Tim stalks her through the filthy water. He raises his head above water, takes one breath, and begins to sing. 

She doesn’t try to kiss him anymore. She forgets she was ever attracted to Robin. Spoiler isn’t a close friend, but it’s best to have as many allies as he can.

       Tim bats Bart’s hand away as he flicks through a book. It’s nice being able to hang around with them without having to wear the mask and be in civvies instead of the Robin suit, but Bart’s fixated on the pearl charm. 

“Don’t touch,” Tim warns, “Or I’ll call Max and he’ll make you sit on the couch while he makes you count to 100 at normal speed.”

“You’re evil,” Bart accuses.

Tim shrugs and goes back to his book. He’s trying to read it for his English class but by God, is it dry as hell. His face pinches as he feels another tug at the necklace and glares at Kon, who’s sitting on the other end of the couch and whistling with faux-innocence as his foot casually pokes at Tim’s ankle. 

“Leave it alone, Kon,” Tim says.

Kon snorts, and the tug on his necklace gets stronger. “I really can’t take you seriously anymore, Rob. You got Bambi eyes and a baby face. I’m not scared of you.”

Since Tim’s technically magic, he’s one of the only ones in the base who can actually do real damage to Kon. Instead, Tim pulls out his bo from his hoodie pocket and extends it to whack Kon on the shoulder. Kon grabs his ankle and yanks Tim over, and Tim's breath is stolen from his chest as he laughs and kicks at Kon.

      Tim isn’t sure where he is, but he knows he’s far enough from people that it won’t matter. His legs shake and his eyes burn, and there’s a pond. Tim shucks his clothes and the pearl charm as he jumps into the murky water, pond scum sticking to his scales. He doesn’t care. Tim buries his face into the tall, damp grass as he sings. A mourning song, one for his mom who he lost, for Jack who wasn’t his birth father and had no clue, for Dana who tried her best with a kid who wasn’t even her husband’s son, for Stephanie his friend, for Bart, for Kon, who he loved. He and Cassie can barely talk to each other without crying and it feels like he’s losing her too. He loves them. He loved them and it hurts, he never knew he could hurt so much. He thinks of his grandmother and laughs bitterly. So much for listening to that cautionary tale. He sings for Cassie, he sings for Bart, he sings for Kon. The grass decays under his arms, and a fish bubbles up to the surface, unmoving. Tim doesn’t look up as he sings with ragged breaths, and so doesn’t notice the fleeing animals that try and stagger from the mourning song. A sparrow hears Tim, and its heart wrenches in its chest, and the sparrow crashes into a tree, its neck snapping on impact. A rabbit sprints, but it still can hear the lyricless dirge, and its heart bursts in its chest. The ground rots where the pearls of Tim’s tears fall, each flawless pearl gleaming more brightly a white than the last. Tim’s chest shudders as his voice finally falters, and all he can do is try and gasp for air.

        Tim’s lips crack and dry as the sand lines them. He’s never been so far from the sea, and to die here, landlocked, is a siren’s worst nightmare. Tim licks at the inside of his mouth and he takes ragged breaths, hauling Pru up and staggering to their feet. Tim’s faced far worse, and he hasn’t died yet. If he must die, then he will die returning to the sea’s embrace. Till then, he will breathe as deep as he can, and live .

         Tim tumbles off the side of a cliff, right into the water. He can hear Nightwing scream, and winces. Oops. Hopefully, N won’t be too badly affected. The mob boss who was trafficking by sea shoves Tim under the waves, hoping to drown him. Tough luck, dude. Tim swims deeper than a human could manage and the mob boss kicks to the surface. It’s tough underwater, but Tim manages to shuck off all of his suit save for his mask and releases the charm. The water is clear and clean, and Tim can breathe. 

Chapter Text

Just some aus i probably wont ever partake in. Not because theyre like pineapple or nickel (things im allergic to) but more like raw tomatoes (Bad Texture). 

Crossovers in general.

>Cant stand them at all

Stoner Tim

>really?? DARE kid Tim being a stoner??

>he did anti drug psas in canon which is HILARIOUS

>cmon i know its the modernization of characters or whatever but that doesnt mean he has to be a stoner???

>i dont think it would relax him at all. I think it'd freak him the fuck out and he would have a shit time being high because hes stressy and panicking and feeling totally out of it. 

>it also. So much fucking funnier if, consider this: he is still a DARE kid. He doesnt do drugs, and sure he doesnt care if others do it, but he thinks if he does a drug, he will die. 

>logically he knows its true but yknow how brains are. 

>he was drugged via forced kiss one time and he accidentally killed shiva and then had to revive her

>idk i think that would effect my willingness to try drugs :/

>thats just me tho, the rest of yall can have fun with stoner tim👍

Reverse Robins

>doesnt work without dick being robin first. He is the origin. He is the necessity. He brought forth robin. Would need a new name

>usually forgets steph in the order and i dont even like steph. I just think if ur gonna reverse the robins, reverse them properly

>i think jason should be killed at least once. Why? I think its funny. 

>tim would not become red hood. Thats so far removed from his personality and his story itself. The only way he would do this would be with some strong backstory changes and if his friends were not there for him. 

Joker Junior

>mmm not interesting to me :/

>too much attention to the joker which he doesnt deserve

>tims got soo much trauma from soooo many more people that are far more interesting than the joker. 

>Tims handled joker on his own a good couple times in the comics. He called that fake clown a son of a bitch and gaslit that mf into thinking batman was in town when he wasnt and he had only just become robin at the time. Tim can handle the joker on his own. Skill issue, jason lmao

Tim Needs Jason to Show Him the Joys of Literature

>Helena is right there. She is literally right there why would you forsake her like that???

>tim /does/ like reading. Hes a casual reader. He likes older sci fi, Goosebumps, and mysteries. Comics too. 

>Helena is right there. Just saying. 

Tim Still Lives in the Manor post-RR

>he bought a murder theatre and u wanna IGNORE that??

>its the theatre bruces parents were killed outside of, tims the most hysterical character ever for that

>its a bruce repellant

>sooo much can be done with the metaphors for emotional distance and the literaly phsysical distance tim has instituted by moving out

>i wanna live vicariously through tim and the fantasy of owning a spacious, nice place where i can keep my food i like and have my friends over and snuggle cozy in my bed in ehatever clothes i please without fearing ny 4 siblings or parents interrupting and do whatever i want in my own space but im only (almost) 20 and can NOT afford that </3 so tim must do it for me

NOW. Aus i WOULD write/ideas i enjoy

Time travel shenanigans so Tim never joins the bats/jason never dies BUT its not tim who reverses time. Its jason. 

>imagine jason beimg convinced this would be best for tim and also the family as a whole if he never died/brice never went off the rails/tim didnt need to become a caregiver-parent for bruce

>he has 0 clue how tim influenced some major events including NML, and that tim was a major player in that event amd otd be inherently different sans tim

>everything is fucked. Tims parents still get kidnapped and held hostage but jack AND janet die

>tim gets sent off to live with some random relative in france

>bart arrives from the future all sorts of pissed and ready to fuck jasons shit up. 

>so many details my mushy grain cant describe but basically. Jasons fucked up. Tim is still bonkers. The speedsters are screaming. 

PTA Enemies Janet and Bruce + one sided Jason-Tim rivalry

>janet divorces jack and gets full custody of tim and also has majority stocks of D.I. while jack can go,,do arcaheology ig

>Sorry idc about him lmao<3

>she invests herself in tim and theyre thick as thieves. Momma's Boy Tim. 

>bruce puts jason in public school because private sure aint working out too well

>Its Gotham Heights lol

>jasons 15 and tims 13, but tims skipped a grade and is a freshman with ives, callie, hudman, and hudson. 

>tim does not even register jason. Guy's so low on his radar, tim doesnt care shdjjdjdjd

>jason, however, is Aware of tim. The teachers are amused and endeared by tim, who, sans robin, is a mostly good kid who does good work to maintain his grade but tim does still have the Sleepy Bitch Disease that has him falling asleep in class at times. Teachers cant help but be fond. Tims liked by most of the other students and doesnt get bullied (<-canon btw) and gets invited to parties that he always declines in favour of Wizards and Warlocks sessions with his friends. 

>Jasons that one fucking kid who reminds the teachers of homework all the time and spends half of english class dragging the tea her into a scholastic debate so now you have 0 goddamn clue what the fucking homework is about

>theoretically, jason and tim should both be catching some bullying. Tim, tho, has Silly Little Guy charm and jason is rizzless. 0 rizz guy. 

>jason thinks tim should be stuck in a locker. Tim doesnt register jasons existence. 

>anyway. Janet and Bruce pta enemies. 

>janet just wants to pick on bruce which is so real of her me too

>bruce is scared of janet lol

Shsgshsjjss im so sleeby thanks <3

Chapter Text

Tim picks up doll customization initially because there were no Nightwing action figures he liked so he was like "gotta do it myself :/"

So he bought one of the male monster high dolls and pulled out his photos and started doing research

He was like ??? 13, i'll say

Started off with a couple failed attempts on a practice doll 

He didnt shrink the head right and didnt know how to mold the epoxy right

He eventually learns about slow shrinking which works so much better

Didnt know how to shade for shit

Sgdhdj he really enjoyed pulling out the hair from inside the head after he took the head off the neck peg 

I cant blame him it looks so satisfying

It took him a whole month to get done and when he was done it was admittedly a bit of a mess

But it was the fucking BEST thing hes ever made

He redid his Nighteimg doll when he got older and more skilled but that first nightwing doll stands proudly besides his more professional Nightwing doll in a case

He goes to thrift stores and yard sales to find old monster high dolls and is lucky enough to have enough cash to get ahold of the old monster high dolls

Yknow the ones w the fully poseable limbs?.. those ones were the shit

I was a clawdeen girlie when i was a kid

Clawdeen fan->Queer pipeline is real and i love it lmao

Tim also custom makes the stands for the dolls

Spent money on some dental tools because those can be easier to operate more precisely than other tools (thats what catmeleon does for her doll customizations and it really really works)

Didnt learn how to shade correctly till he was like 15 

He made a Nightwing doll first, and then a Batman customization amd he also redid that one but he likes having his og doll customization of Batman out more because it makes him laugh

I wanna say his first fem superhero doll customization was Cassie as Wonder Girl???? 

Then he did greta and cissie dolls, then later he did Anita as Secret, Arrowette, and Empress

He used a Draculaura doll for Greta, a Ghoulia doll for Cissie, and a Lagoona doll for Cassie, then a Clawdeen doll for Anita. 

He learned to make epoxy clothes and paint those 

Also learned how to make the fake hair from acrylic yarn and color it right but at firat he just bought hair extensions of the appropriate color and glued them bc he didnt know how to re-root

He learns how to reroot eventually

His Impulse doll required,,,,SO much hair spray sgsjdjjdjdj

He also learned how to cut the dolls in half to reduce their torso lengths or put them in a better pose or give them a different posture and install a solid piece of wire with hot glue and some tin foil filling and then recover the gaps with epoxy

He made a S'lobo doll after S'lobo died and he took extra care while making it

Oughhhh tim learning how to use resin and cure it and paint it (its soo cool when catmeleon does it def check out her videos i like watching her Valentine's Love Bird, Rose Fairy, and Creepy Siren customization videos)

It takes a good while for tim to actually finish his projects because life happens but he legitimately does enjoy it

Its reallly relaxing for him even when it gets mildly frustrating

He keeps his best work in a case on a wall in his bedroom

His case has both his Nightwing dolls, his original Batman doll customization, both a Black Bat and a Cass-Batgirl doll, an Oracle Doll, a Babs-era Batgirl doll, the entirety of his YJ team, a Speedy doll, and a Ted Kord blue beetle doll

He uses photos he took for design references so theyre quite a bit more accurate than a manufactured action figure/pre-designed doll

Has an entire ventilated room for his work station

Oughhh,,,what if he made customized dolls for his friends as gifts

Sgsgsjjsjs since its a private hobby he never brings it up because nobody asked so he wont tell so most of his family doesnt know he spends hours of his free time working on his doll customozations

His friends know, naturally, because theyve all been to his place enough to see/learn about his custom dolls

He probably wouldnt make videos/post his work but he does take photos to show his friends when he finishes a customization

Idk i just really think itd be fun if he decided he didnt like the action figures on the market and took it upon himself to make what he wanted and slowly got super into it and loved it so much as a hobby to indulge in

Chapter Text

Tracking Tim is never an easy task, at least, not now that Tim’s older and far more sneaky than he used to be. Dick doesn’t remember when Tim got so slippery. Still, that night, it’s made easier by Tim’s single-mindedness as they tracked him through the streets. Dick lands on the metal railing of a building, crouching down to ensure that he remains unseen. Bruce is nearby, he can tell, with Damian beside him and though he claimed disinterest, Jason isn’t far behind. Dick watches Tim hop off his skateboard and takes to running instead.

It’s hard to see him, given that nights of the new moon in Gotham always seem to be darker than average, but Dick can catch flashes of the green of Tim’s sticker-covered skateboard and the sound of an occasional heavy thump of thick, platform boots pounding against the pavement. They’re in a part of town even Jason rarely visits, nearing the water and one of the main bridges from out of the city to the mainland where the suburbs of Gotham cropped up and where Bristol stood. 

“Just an old ass, half-burnt church here,” Jason grumbles from under his helmet, “Nothing special.”

Dick doubts that that’s true, even if Jason may think it is. Then again, Tim would hang out at some half-burnt old church. Tim’s a bit odd like that. Maybe Tim’s some screwball-minded gadgets hidden there? Tim approaches a steep decline and skids to a stop, tucking his skateboard away in a bush nearby. With a blatant disregard for the safety railing’s purpose, Tim swings one leg over and then the other. Slowly, Tim picks his way down the side, loose dirt falling in small sheets while small pebbles tumble down beside Tim’s feet. Tim’s clearly practiced at this, slowly sliding his way around a couple chunks of rust metal littering the ground. They follow, taking to the shadows. Jason’s helmet makes a quiet but odd crackling noise as colorful lights flare brightly, dancing across metal and stone support pillars for the overhead pass and the skeletal ribcage of beams attached to the underside of the overpass. There’s a sea of people, and God, is it loud. It’s a merciless cacophony of howls and hisses, cackling and cheering.

There’s music too, some band set up on a makeshift stage nestled in the old, broken down cathedral (not a church, like Jason had originally thought). There’s flashes of sharp teeth gleaming as people laugh and gleaming eyes as people sang, serpentine lower limbs that shimmy to the pulsing beat and clawed hands that raised above heads in rapture. Jason whistles, impressed, though the sound comes out tinny through the helmet’s speakers.

“Who knew he was a party animal all along,” Jason mutters, “I thought he was a tightwad this whole time.”

Dick reaches over and smacks Jason’s wrist. 

“He’s not a tightwad,” Dick hisses, “And he’s not a party animal, either.”

It’s clear that there’s something special about this place, something that they as uninvited humans should not see. The band exits and a woman with dark, curling green hair takes her place with an electric violin. Damian clicks his tongue, but Dick can tell from the way his face is tilted that the kid’s interested in what he’s seeing. 

“Hey, look,” Jason says, “Found the twerp.”

Tim’s sitting on one of the metal beams overhead, and even in the flashing multicolor lights, Dick can see the unnatural red shade of his mouth and the curling claws on Tim’s hands. His teeth look razor-sharp as his blood-colored lips part as the woman begins to play her violin. Dick has heard very little of siren song above a simple hum, and given that Tim must be wearing his pearl charm, he probably isn’t able to put too much magic into his voice. Still, just the little bit of what is unleashed is enough to make Dick’s knees buckle.

There’s no microphone that Dick can see, and yet Tim’s voice cuts clear through the fog and the lights. No human voice could ever possibly compare to this, not with any amount of vocal training or autotune alterations in the world. There's something too impossibly inhuman about a siren's voice to ever pit a human voice versus a siren's song without offending both the human and the siren. 

Dick now knows this; a siren's voice is something bright and clear and sweet that rings deep in his bones and coats his teeth like sugar. More than that, Tim looks unbelievably alive , his eyes shining brightly as he sings above the crowd as the woman continues to play her violin. Her voice joins, rolling over the crush of bodies and twining in smoothly. The energy of this place is something bright and wild, and they are unknowingly being intruded upon by people who do not know what it is like to live the way they do. Dick is not someone who has fur or a tail or a forked tongue, and he does not have claws or a whisper of magic. He is an uninvited guest, the way Jason, Bruce, and Damian are. And nobody knows, not even Tim, who sings brightly with the green-haired woman whose sharp teeth glimmer under the colored lights. 

Dick manages to drag his feet from his perch, even if it feels like he’s ripping his own flesh with how deeply he wants to linger and indulge in that bright sweetness. Jason’s fingers dig into stone, and his legs shake.

“Let’s go,” Dick commands, leaving no room for argument as he grips the hood of Damian’s cloak and the back of Jason’s jacket, kicking Bruce in the shin.

They are intruders, and have no permission to enjoy the gleaming lights and the music that rings out into the moonless night. 

Chapter Text

Bruce thinking abt how he has very few recent photos from when the kids were younger and he gets sad

Like, dick wouldnt let bruce take photos of him/with him for like a year or so before relenting 

But since dick was 17, bruce doesnt have that many photos of Dick

He has a good amount of jason pictures from when jason was 11-pre death 15 but obviously has like 0 of jason as he is now

Which is deeply upsetting for him

Cass was a fucken ghost before she came to Babs but bruce still only has maybe like,,,5 photos of her 

He obviously has no photos of Baby Damian and of Talia is hoarding them all/not telling bruce baby damian pics exist thats her fucken business mind ur own

He has a couple photos of Damian

Tim would pitch huge, extremely long and very loud hissy fits if bruce tried to take photos of him like "why do you, grown man, want photos of me, 14 yr old teenager🤔🤨 get near me w the camera and i start screaming"

Tim is the photographer, not the photographed

He doesnt wanna have a company photo with the boss for employee of the monthor whatever, he wants bruce to go to fucking sleep so tim can go to sleep

Ofc this no pictures policy does not hold true for Dick, Babs, Cass, or Helena. They obviously have a large collection of silly, mildly embarrassing tim photos that they may or may not also be in

^they are not sharing

He has like,,,,fuckign,,,one (1) photo of tim sucks to suck bruce lmao

So bruce starts to get mopey and alfreds like "Perhaps aak them to share pictures with you? Or me, even, and i will give them to you"

Somehow, bruce decides to just,,,take the photos

He knows tim has a veritable trove of photos but he cannot get into tims "no Bruces allowed" apartment

Literally. He gets foiled to the point where he is going mad as he tries to figure out why/how he cant get into tims apartment

He is Batman, dammit, he should be able to do a simple b&e against one of his kids to steal their property to improve his own emotional state

So. How does one steal from their own child.

Involve more children

He offers to get damian a dog (Titus) in exchange for completing the task amd offers jon and colin $100 each to help damian

Colin: make it 150, in 10s only

Bruce: ???? I??? Sure.

He knows $150 is just pocket change (💀💀its not) but theyre just kids and he doesnt want lois to know he bribed her son to steal

Bruce is mildly surprised that colin, who grew up with nuns, would be willing to steal and colins just like "i need money" <-he wants to buy a really pricey action figure and some comics also hes like 10/11, kids that age would do anything for $150

So. Now that hes recruited his minions, he will let them draw up their own plans

He gives them rules

Bruce's Rules for Photo Theft:

• No stabbing
• No drugging
• No maiming
• No letting tim know why you're there
• Dont get caught red handed
• No breaking anything
• No hitting
• No biting
• In general no physical assault/physical attacks
• Do Not Implicate Bruce

Bruce is planning on photocopying the pics and bribing damian with a turkey or two to get him to return these, which will surely go well so long as tim doesnt notice hes been robbed

Colin, Jon, and Damian are now left to devise a plan

Damian: we have limited options seeing as physical assault is banned HOWEVER-

Colin: im gonna ask him to show me the photos he has of heroes/vigilantes

Jon: im gonna ask him for dumb Kon stories

...its a lot simpler than they thought but as long as it works

They kinda just,,,fucken walk there??? Like,,,lmao im imagining damian digs out some old bicycles that jason and dick used to own from storage and they ride the bikes over there. Maybe jon is using an old Razor scooter of Tims bc his ankles are the only ones that wont suffer if his scooter spins around and whacks him in the shins/ankles

^core memory of mine tbh💀

Gshshshjs imagine they go out late in the afternoon and its evening when they get there and tim sees them in his lobby like "Holy Fuck why are you guys here with 0 protection"

Damian: im an ex assassin, jon is part Kryptonian, colin can become a huge monster

Tim: okay youre all still 10/11 what dumbass let you out this late with 0 weapons and 0 trackers 

^hyyyyypocriteeeeeee

Damian: Father

Tim: *pinching his nose and he is nearly visibly getting a headache* Bruce was being a massive bitch again?

Tim just looks up at the ceiling bc sure he doesnt want damian in his apartment but he also has some work to do and hes not gonna fight when he doesnt have to/need to and when bruce is presumably being a piece of shit and also theres two other kids. Just. Fuck. Hes just gonna bite his tongue and let the kids up, let them spend the night and he himself will DRIVE them back in the morning bc he shouldnt drive when hes this sleepy

Tim: go upstairs.

Damian is mildly surprised tim didnt kick them out but whatever makes things easier

Colin is Delighted that dex is there and Jons like "oh hey those are kons shoes is he here??"

Tim: no those are his shoes from after work. He left them here when he went to go do something with your dad in-costume

Tim: oh shit hold on let me call lois

Sghsjdjd lois and tim end up gossiping for like an hour and he gets totally distracted and they end up making plans for him to join her on source gathering as her paperwork toter/coffee fetcher/quick and easy lockpicker-thief

Damian is quick to start snooping while tims chatting with lois 

Jon gets his hands on a bag of pretzel goldfish

Colin is doing his part by,,,distracting dex. Definitely not just playing w the enormous fluffball, no he is providing necessary support for this mission

Obviously they cant take from tims photo wall in the hallway bc he will obviously miss it

So. Bedroom. They check the bedroom first. 

The bed isnt made, and theres the pants of tims work clothes crumpled on the ground beside his shoes and pair of socks and tims shirt is hanging halfway out of the laundry hamper but its neat enough. Hes got a ton of trinkets scattered around on shelves amd on his dresser, and posters on the wall and an open box of jewelry with a pretty pearl black ribbon and pearl choker sitting on the bedside table but no clues as to where tims photo collection could be

Damian: cant you use x-ray vision

Jon: ...not on command, it takes time to grow in/stabilize and also, we're already digging through your brothers stuff to steal it, im not x-raying his whole room

Check under the bed? Nothing but a pair of Bart's dog printed socks

Check in the drawers? Just a mixture of Kon's pants (pj pants, work pants, leggings, sweats, regular pants) and tims pants

Half of Kons jewelry is also in the jewelry box lol

Closet contains a bunch of tims shirts + cissies, cassies, gretas, anitas, cass's, and dicks shirts and a truly enormous expanse of Superboy t-shirts right from the former-Superboy himself

It also contains one (1) large metal box

Theres also anpther box but a quick scan reveals it contains 0 photos of anyone Damian knows and just a bunch of things tim collected that looks like random trash bit are actually momentos of things

The metal box is a simple lockbox that tim didnt bother to lock bc he never imagined anyone would ever go looking for these pictures specifically and also he and his friends like to regularly go through the photos and laugh or reminisce so he keeps forgetting to lock it lmao

So now jon and damian have free reign over the pictures and boy oh boy are they numerous in quantity

Damian: Oh my god...he was a stalker...

Jon: He was dedicated!

Damian: Hes a stalker....

Theres even photos of damian which. Hatred upon the earth that these exist. Jon sneaks a few up his sleeves when damian isnt looking bc he reallly wants that $150 lmao

They collect photos of each of the Batsiblings at humerous ages and stages of life that tim has amassed then skedaddle out and act like they've always been sat in the living room, doing nothing but wait for tim to stop talking w lois

Tim: im too tired to make food and also have work to finish up. I ordered you guys pizza. Yes theres vegan pizza. Yes theres also pepperoni. I will have microwaved soup

(I love soup sorry i keep making tim eat so much goddamn soup i just really love soup)

They quickly shove the pictures intp a backpack colin has been toting around

Dex is watching. They start to sweat. The cat Knows. The cat Very Much Knows. Colin is clutching the backpack the whole time, even as he sleeps. He ia not taking any chances. 

Tim lets them bunk in the living room so they can watch Wendy. 

Damian: ugh this show is horrible (<-has a limited edition Wendy keychain he spent sooo much of his allowance on sgjdkdkkdkd)

^kon has the same keychain tim bought him for their Not Christmas gifts once

Tim eventually cuts them off at midnight like "im going to sleep and so are you. I have a large couch and an armchair figure it out"

Damian really likes the couch but if he doesnt sjare, hes beimg shoved off to the armchair

He resigns to sharing with colin while jon takes the armchair bc jon KICKS in his sleep amd it HURTS

Come morning, they have successfully stolen from tim. Tim drops them.off and also stops by to let bruce know that tims grounding him and he will be assigning him paperwork for the week. 

Yes tim can ground bruce, no bruce cant ground tim, its very funny, thats what you get for giving ur kid majority stocks to ur company and shit, now he has power over u bruce lmao

There is, however, a glarimg imperfection im bruces new collection

Bruce: there is no Tim

Bruce gets itchy when a collection of Stuff is incomplete

He was missing an accurate pterodactyl from his dino figurine collection for years when he was a kid and he got so itchy every time he looked at it he accidentally gouged his right arm w his nails and he still has some faint scars

Damian: Well he doesnt take picturs of Just Him what do u want from me???

Dick isnt surrendering his pics of tim, especially not after he lost so many when he surrendered kons photo album back to him when kon came back to life

Jon: uhhh...i guess...steal from one of his friends?

Colin, Bruce, and Damian all turn to just stare right at jon like 👁👁

Jon: oh boy

Time to steal from kon!!!

Colin, damian, and Jon are all "studying" at jons place with intentions of a sleepover

Jon had to wait a day for kon to be like "oh lol wont be back tonight im going to tims place to hang w him, bart, and cassie and call greta, cissie, and anita"

Hes very lucky that kons just...always hanging out at tims lmao

Jon after lois and clark are supoosed to be asleep: okay lets go

Sneaky time for the boys

Sneak up into kons room

Pretty tidy, if only bc the stuff he would usually dump on the floor is at tims place in the closet or hamper lmao

Lol some of kons posters and stickers and knick knacks are also at tims in his room

They start poking through kons stuff being Extremely quiet bc krypto is sleeping on kons bed

Eventually find kons photo album which also has new pics 

Lots of bart photo bombs,,,,photo barts,,,,

Hes got plenty of cissie and cassie and anita and greta,,,shdhjdjd ray and snapper are in one (1) photo and they have like demon horns drawn on them and "OLD" sharpied on in bright ass red with arrows pointing at their faces u know how it is

Also slobo pics :(

Finally, they get to the tim pics and damians like "finally i can get my dog"

Grab some pics, go down, and fall asleep

Damian delivers the photos and as soon as he leaves the office, tim walks in like "give me and kon our shit back rn"

Turns out the boys were NOT sneaky at all and tim gets to yell at bruce for 1) theft 2) bribing kids 3) stealing from kon 4) not asking

Bruce suffering<3

Chapter Text

Janet trades her life for her child to be born without a string. The red gleam on her skin sits underneath a ring, a hateful scarlet. She would never wish this kind of fate on anyone, particularly her own child. The Good Neighbor laughs at her as she barters away the years of her life till she only has little more than a decade left to spend wandering the earth. She isn’t particularly mad about that. She is not sorrowful, and she will not cry for the sand on her hourglass draining to the bottom. The Good Neighbor asks for her child’s name. She knows The Good Neighbors speak and declines in their tongue, and leaves with both her own name and her baby’s name intact. He is born a few weeks early, much like she was, and he is small, like she was. Unlike her, he is bare of any red string. Janet will not have even fifteen years with him, but he is free. Tim is free, like she never was. It’s the greatest act of love she could have ever done. She would have only done it for her child. 

Tim is a small, odd baby. He babbles often but hardly cries, and he will still screech if Jack tries to pick him up. He tries to eat the yellow rose petals from the bush outside their townhouse but can’t stand the red roses Jack will bring her when he angers her. He is stringless. 

“Do they make baby-sized fake strings,” Jack frets.

“He doesn’t need one,” Janet declares.

And that is that. Tim will have all the freedom she was denied and she will be damned if he grows up ashamed of being free. Free. Her mouth waters as she marks another day on her calendar. If only it were so easy for her. No. Tim will not be taught that being stringless is a horrible thing; she sold her life in exchange for Tim’s liberty. He needs no string, fake or not. She watches as Tim gums on the teething ring, staring at the windows. Their eyes meet and then her son stares at the slightly visible red line on her finger. He screeches at the sight and Janet smiles. Something tells her that Tim would hate to have a string anyway.

Tim learns the word when he is five years old and he gets tripped on the playground by the tallest boy in the class. Tim smashes his cheek into concrete and his two loose teeth pop out. He’s disappointed; he wanted to pull those out on his own later. Tim spits them out in a small puddle of bloody drool and dusts off his clothes. Dad made him go on the roof of the townhouse to fetch a frisbee and forgot Tim up there so Tim tried to shimmy down the side of the drainpipe but fell off and fractured his leg last summer so Tim’s definitely fallen in worse ways than this. 

“Untethered,” Jerry Atkins spits at Tim.

Then the tallest kid in the grade, Lily Hollis, punches Jerry in the stomach (not really to protect Tim and more because Jerry was yanking her hair all of the past two weeks and she was mad) and Jerry has to run away to cry. Tim gives Lily a pebble. It’s got speckles like the stars and it’s really smooth. Lily pats his head and pockets it. Then she goes to tell the teacher on Jerry before Jerry could do the same. Jerry gets detention for a week. Tim looks up the meaning of the word and stares at his stringless fingers. He decides to put the question away for much, much later.

“What does Untethered mean,” he asks when his Mom picks him up from school for summer vacation.

He doesn’t even go to the same school he started at with Lily and Jerry. His father pulled him out a month later and put him in a new school and then Tim switched again after winter vacation. Still, he’s been waiting forever to ask. 

“It means,” His mom says as her long fingernails against the wheel, “That you’re very, very lucky. You can choose.”

Tim later learns that the strings mean that everyone has to meet someone that they will have to care about forever and ever. 

“That doesn’t sound right,” Tim mumbles into his pillow.

If the caring is forced, something made-to-be, is it even real? Tim can’t imagine so. Tim decides that he is very, very lucky and being Untethered is much better than anything else.

Tim grows up and refuses to tie strings around his fingers. He doesn’t do it for anyone or anything. Once everyone hits middle school, kids start to realize that being Untethered isn’t the insult that it sounded like when they were seven and Tim gets left alone. He makes friends. He doesn’t wear gloves or rings or anything to cover up his fingers. Well, he wears gloves when it’s cold, and he wears plastic rings he wins from fairs and carnivals and from the pizza place’s prize counter. 

“Aren’t you sad,” Ives asks, “There’s nobody out there for you.”

Tim laughs, his head thrown back and his shoulders shaking. It’s funny.

“You and I aren’t tied by strings but we’re friends anyway, right,” Tim asks through the laughter.

Ives joins in, his glasses sliding up the bridge of his nose as he leans back.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Ives agrees, “You don’t need a string, huh?”

Tim throws his hands above his head, splaying out his fingers. His pale hands and long fingers are completely bare.

“Nope!”

There are very few people on the Young Just Us team that have strings. Cissie has one, and so does Anita. Greta has none, though,  not even when she comes back as a human. Greta shakes her head.

"I would never want a string anway," she decides.

Anita turns up one day and her string is gone. She grins. Cissie' string is gone too. They never tell anyone what they did but Tim thinks Anita managed some magic to free themselves of their strings. She's amazing like that. Cassie, Kon, and Bart have no strings. Neither does Lil’ Lobo or S’lobo. Tim isn’t the odd one out at all. Cassie doesn't find out why she’s stringless till she finds out Zeus is her father, though, so she just always thought she was Untethered. Bart’s from the future and if he went back to his time, he’d probably sprout a string or something but as it is, because of speedster’s crappy time stuff, he’s stringless. Bart doesn't really mind. Kon hates being stringless, even more than Greta did. 

“How do you do it,” he asks Tim once when they’re Titans, and Kon’s wondering if he has a soul.

“My mom,” Tim answers, “She…she traded so I’d be stringless.”

“Traded,” Kon asks, “She took your string from you?”

Tim shrugs. “I mean, I guess you could look at it like that. To me…she gave me freedom. Kon, look.”

He shows Kon his hands. 

“I’m free. I don’t have to wait for someone special. I get to choose who’s special to me. I get to be free to care about who I want to. I get to be as free as I want to be.”

He clasps his hands around Kon’s wrist.

“I choose to care. About Cassie and Bart, Cissie, Greta, and Anita. I choose to care about you because I want to. I don’t have to do anything unless I want to. Do you get it?”

Kon squeezes Tim’s hands. Their stringless fingers are different but…the exact same.

“I get it, Rob,” Kon says, “I…I think so, anyway.”

It hurts so much fucking more to lose someone you choose to care about, Tim learns not even six months later.

Tim buys red thread from a craft store and he and Cassie burn it and scream. It hurts. Tim hates being Untethered for the first time in his life because maybe if he had a Fated Person, he wouldn’t hurt so much.

Tim hates the color red, but wears it anyway.

Tim is glad he is Untethered when he lays bleeding from his guts in the desert. He would hate to hurt someone in any fraction of the way it hurt when the people he chose to love died. He dreams he sees Bart (streaks of white and copper-auburn and red) speeding around his head, beckoning Tim. He has no string, just like Tim. He dreams Kon (in black and red and warm) hauls him up and pushes Tim till Tim pushes back, laughing as they trip over their feet. He’s glad Cassie doesn’t have a string to share with him. Then he hates it because when he dies, she won’t have a Fated Person to numb the pain. Bleeding sucks. He hates the color red.

Tim lives and comes to hate the color green more than the color red. Red is dull and dim, an old, fading bruise in comparison to the sour, pungent sting of green. Green, green, green. Robes, eyes, Pit. Green. Tim is glad he has no string. Untethered means one less weakness. No Fated Person to target, and Tim is glad for that. Of course, it means poor Tam gets stuck in the whole mess which is extraordinarily harrowing. Still. He considers this an Untethered win.

Tim finds he loves the color red again when he sees Kon. And Bart. He doesn’t need a damn string. While Bruce’s heart pulls to Selina still while his stringed finger wants him to go to Talia, Dick’s and Babs’ hands sport red tattoos even when Dick turns towards the stringless Starfire and Babs turns to Black Canary and her computers, while Jason sports a charred string and Damian snarls at his own red thread, Tim laughs. Cass holds his hand, another lucky Untethered, and grins as they both shake their heads. They pity the others, they do. It’s hard not to. Cass dances on rooftops and away from bullets. Her fists strike. Her skin, though covered in scars, is free of red strings. Not even Fate can make a demand of her. She is free. Tim falls into his friends’ arms, and he gets to love them with no strings attached. 

Chapter Text

Dick:

- he is a beautiful blend of his parents

- He has John Graysons teeth but Mary Graysons smile

- Has Johns darker hair color but Mary's wavey hair texture

- Johns eye color and Mary's eye shape

- Marys darker skin

-Johns body shape

-His height actually came from his maternal grandmother who was 5'10-11 and ~4 inches taller than her husband

-Damn,,,john and mary never got to see their son outgrow them,,,lmao anyway

-Mary's cheekbones and John's jawline

-His parents mustve been so fine,,,,

- hes got Johns nose (classical handsome kind of nose) and Mary's ear shape

- John's eyebrows (fairly thicked but well-groomed) and Mary's eyelashes (long and curl upwards slightly at the end)

-hes got a lot of body hair like john tho he tends to trim it down on his chest/armpits to decrease friction in the suit

-he can grow some very thick stubble but he prefers the clean shaven look, much like John Grayson actually

-he has Mary's laugh and her lip shape too

-A small beauty mark on his right cheek and the center of his neck just like John did

-he just has so much about him that is like both of his parents

Jason:

-he actually looks a LOT like willis

-same build that willis todd had and his dark hair and darker skin tone

-he has curly hair like sheila tho

-he got his original eye color from his paternal grandmother, a sort of blue-brown kinda deal

-he has mostly Willis' facial features, from his jawline to his nose, kinda crooked at the ridge and flares out at the nostrils, his mouth shape too

-He has sheila's ears and cheekbones

-his eye shape came from his paternal grandfather

-jason kinda knows he looks a lot like willis and somedays he kinda just,,,looka at his reflection to see just how much is willis because he would much rather see willis' features than sheilas. He consoles himself a lot with how he hardly remembers sheilas exact features

-willis used to smoke the same cigarettes jason does

-jason has a little bit of red in his hair but its only noticeable in the sunlight, so its mostly black save for the white front curls

-he doesnt know this but he has sheilas teeth/smile

-lotta body hair and doesnt really give a shit about it?? He has stubble and only ever trims down the chest hair of he gets some kinda nasty cut in the area and he wants to trim down the hair to get the blood out easier. Doesnt care about the armpit hair, its whatever 

-has willis's brows (thick and a bit crooked) and medium length eyelashes that are fairly straight 

-he doesnt really contemplate which parent he looks like, though it does hurt sometimes that he cant find Catherine in his features

Cass:

-does NOT look like david cain at all lmao suck it david cain

-she looks sooo much like Lady Shiva

-genuinely if there were pics of Lady Shiva at 18/19 and compared them to Cass, the difference would be near impossible to find

-Cass keeps her hair a lot shorter than Shiva does bc she kinda hates looking like shiva lmao

-but from her eye color and shape, cheekbones, hair texture, and hair color, she looks like shiva

-surprisingly the two moles/beauty marks under her right eye and the tooth gap in her lower front teeth are just things that happened. Not from cain or shiva, just cass

-cass was very curious about the whole shaving/waxing business when it came to body hair bc. Hell, i was curious too, i wanted to find out what the fuss was about

-she enjoyed the smooth feeling but ultimately decided it was too much of a hassle so cass rarely shaves, only bothering when her suit gets too much friction and it bothers her bc Sensory Issues. But she does not give a fuck about her body hair and if anyone else does, thats a them problem lmao

-her eyelashes are medium length and curl up at the ends

-her height came from shiva too

-hilariously, despite her and tim being from entirely different parents, they are similar enough in height/build/posture/hair style that they can easily and succesfully lie to people to make them think theyre blood siblings

-spiritual twins u know how it is

-her skin tone came from shiva too

-thick, arched eyebrows

-Cass when she sees shiva: oh. Yikes i look like you

Cass: i look like my mother (<-derogatory)

Tim: 

-yall ready know

-he looks,,,exactly like janet

-everyone thinks bruce exaggerates how much tim looks like janet before they finally see what janet looked like

-its fucking uncanny

-Tim has her thin, arched brows and her long, straight eyelashes and her big eyes

-he has her narrow nose and high, sharp cheekbones

-janets narrow jaw and small, pointed chin are tim's too

-his hair is from his grandmother, who janet looked exactly like as well except for her fathers curly, dirty blonde-pale brown hair she inherited

-she was a small, fine boned woman and tim has her frame

-he has a trunk of janets old favourite clothes that he saved stored in the attic of the Manor (the rest he donated with great heartbreak) and if he were to wear them, bruce would fall over in shock and horror

-tim sometimes puts on her old jewelry and a wig and looks in the mirror. Not out of vanity but just so he can pretend hes looking at his mom for a bit

-anyone would know he looks exacty like janet

-theres not a smidge of jack. Even the little freckles bruce thought were from jack were actually from tims grandma

-when it comes to body hair, janet was maybe like my mom where she would make tim lay his head on her lap when he was little so she could tweeze the hair off his face and pluck his brows into shape

^💀💀💀 dawg that shit hurt fr when i was 5 but tim was reallly happy about the time he got to spend with her so he let it happen

-because tims my blorbo whom i can squeeze and squish as i please, he shaves often bc the sensation of the hair rubbing against the skin and fabric is so fucking EUGHH (i wish i could get away with no shaving but alas😭😭 sensory issues demand i shave lest i start to work myself up into a meltdown)

-his leg and arm hair are hella patchy bc he keeps ripping it out when hes understimulated. 

-hes been waxed and plucked and tweezed all over for so much undercover work

-OHHH i hc that when janet was younger she really loved fast cars so she would get dates to drive her as fast as possible in theur cars bc she liked the speed and when her and jack would fight, she would put tim in the car seat and just drive like crazy all over bristol and baby tim LOVED it, so now older tims into fast cars

Damian: 

-need everyone to know damian has talias nose and its a BEAUTIFUL, glorious hooked nose with a wonderfully prominent nose bridge 

-he also has talias skin tone (dark) tho he does have ras eye color (deep green) rather than talias eyes (beautiful, beautuful brown) and his hair is like bruces (black) till u get him under the sun and you can see the warm brown undertones to damians hair

-he has them Wayne Eyebrows u understand what i mean

-the eye shape is all talia's tho, and he has talias long lashes that curl slightly up at the ends

-talias cheekbones and chin but bruce's jaw and forehead

-has martha waynes ears and a small beauty mark in the center of the right side of his face on his cheek that thomas wayne also had

-stand him next to bruce and he looks like a young bruce with talias coloring but put damian next to talia and swear to god they look exactly like each other, its just damian has the thick sharp Wayne Eyebrows and when he gets older, has Bruce's build+height

-his hair is mostly straight like bruces but it has slight waves like talias when damians hair is wet

-damian somehow looks exactly like talia while looking exactly like bruce

-not sure how but hey. Thats just how it is???

-not even a perfect split of features that mesh well like dick

-he just looks exactly like talia or bruce depending in if damian and whatever parent is standing next to each other

Chapter Text

Yall i would never use the fucking name *jack* for a clone baby So. Here are names for clone babies.

• Carina Jeanette(means my darling/sweetheart in spanish and also the name of a constellation that represent the keel of the ship of the argo navis. Pays homage to kons space heritage and jeanette for janet) 

• Eloise Jane(means healthy/whole which,,,,smthn smthn missing parts made whole,,,smthn smthn tim feeling like he had a missing part or ehatever lol and Jane for janet)

• Cassia Martine (cassia bc its like cassandra and honors Cass and Cassie aka two of the most important people to tim and Martine bc its like Martha??? I must soecify that the martha im referring to is NOT martha wayne but rather Martha Kent, Ma Kent. Sorry but martha wayne is not relevant at all here lol)

• Elanna Helene (elanna means shining light/sun which,,,yep also refers to kon getting his powers from the sun lol and Helene in honor of Helena Bertinelli aka Huntress)

• Phoebe Danica (Phoebe like Phoebus aka sun god and Danica in honor of Dana) 

• Noel Martin (Martin is a lot like Martha and noel bc i think its a nice name, short and simple.)

• Nathanael Henry (nathanael bc it means god has given and jack, janet, and tim are all related to names meaning "servant of god" or smthn along those lines and henry is actually Barts middle name so this is also in honor of bart)

• Uriel Sol (uriel is a hebrew name for an archangel and i dooo believe a lot of the kryptonian names originated from hebrew??? So i think thats cool and sol means sun. Obvious connection there i think lol. Also i ran out if sensible options and finally just went with Sol even if it may sound like a silly option for a name)

My god its so hard to choose names especially when i cant make it a spanish name like im used to bc it wouldnt make senseeee and i only got away w carina bc its a constellation name

Shshsjnsjd theres only like 3 "boy" names because i think we need some more clone baby daughters up in here

Dana and Janet DESERVE to be referenced in the clone baby au names. In my opinion. 

Credits to katachresis for the name Cassia!! They were so brilliant for that one lol. And also for them helping me with this list of names.

I actually really enjoyed putting together this list lmao

Tbh my fav names were Eloise and Carina. Carina bc its so cute to say and Eloise bc its also cute to say. 

Also!!! Mixing these names around!!! Eloise Danica. Carina Martine. Cassia Helene. Elanna Jeanette. Phoebe Jane. Nathanael Martin. Noel Sol. Uriel Henry. Very fun. 

Chapter Text

        Kon can't sleep. He stares up at the shadowed ceiling and scrapes the soft sheets under his knuckles. He feels so tired, his boned heavy and his mouth stuffed with wool. The noises of the city are muffled, which us good because his head feels like it's pounding. The world feels too big and he feels too exhausted. Time is slow as molasses and Kon's barely slogging through it all. 

Tim's room is cold, even more so when Tim isn't there. The door cracks open and Tim slips inside, holding his towel up around his chest. Kon raises his hand so Tim can see it and then places his own palm over his eyes. Tim lets out a quiet half-laugh as he starts to rummage through his drawers. Kon doesn't take his palm off his face till Tim pokes him in the side.

"You don't have to do that every time," Tim whispers as he starts to push the blankets around, "You've seen me in so much worse states than naked."

"Yeah but you don't like people watching you," Kon replies, yawning so wide his jaw clicks.

Tim pushes a pillow away and then finally settles down where he decides he wants to be, then starts to pinch and poke at Kon. Kon wiggles around till he's where Tim wants him to be, head tucked under Tim's chin and pressed against his collarbone. His skin is still slightly damp from a shower and the ends of his hair are waterlogged. Tim's fingers thread through Kon's hair, slowly working out any tangles he can find. It feels nice. Kon hums against the cool skin of Tim's collarbone and the soft, stretched out fabric of one of his old shirts that Tim's wearing.

Kon drapes one arm over Tim's side, settling it on the slight crook of Tim's waist. His heart beat is quiet in Kon's ears, though steady and firm. Kon digs hus thumb into Tim's back, though Tim doesn't mind considering he's already asleep. Kon scoots closer, pressing his face deeper. Soft. Humans are so soft, somehow. Even Tim, despite his prominent collarbone digging into Kon's nose, the sharp ridges of his spine pressing against the splay of Kon's palm, the way his jutting ribs and hipbones dig into Kon's front. Somehow, still human, and still soft.

Kon hazards a stronger grip, and the fingers in his hair softly squeeze his scalp. Kon lets out a soft breath, inhaling the echo of his own mint toothpaste.

 Teddy bears are small in Kon's hands, just thin cotton and stuffing. But still, soft. Soft and good. Like Tim. His own small teddy bear has fractured bones that barely heal over before cracking again and a smoothly beating heart. Kon drifts off to sleep finally, buried in the comfort of softness.

        Tim kicks off his shoes and starts taking off his clothes in the entry way as soon as he locks the door. There's a tag in the back of the shirt and there's a loose string on the left outer seam of his pants and his blazer feels too tight at the wrists. His socks have a hole in the toes. Itch itch itch. Fabric piles around his feet until he's only in his underwear and he's scratching at his back. When he feels the sting of his skin tearing open under his nails in little crescent moons under his shoulder blades, he stops. He gathers the clothes in his arms and prods the shoes into their spot in his shoe cubby, miserably dumping the clothes in the hamper. The cuts burn when he wipes them down with an antispetic wipe.

Tim pushes his blankets and pillows around till he can curl up on the smooth cotton sheets. He doesn't want anything to touch him. He swears to God if anything or anyone touches him, he's going to starts ripping things to shreds. Tim pulls his knees oser to his chest and screams.

He lies there for hours till the itch of no touching becomes the ache of wanting to squeeze something against him. The door clicks open.

"Hi," Kon says, sitting at the edge of the bed, "Need a Zesti?"

Tim shakes his head.

"Everything fucking sucked today," Tim croaks, "I might be getting a cold. Some investor kept touching my shoulder. Bruce was at work and he didn't shut up. Someone took my lunch from the fridge at work and there was so much traffic coming back home."

Normally, none of this would bother Tim but today was horrible. Tim rolls closer to Kon and spreads his arms. Kon obliges and squeezes Tim, massaging Tim's nape.

Kon is big and warm and strong and Tim swallows, his throat stinging even as he smiles for the first time that day. He has no reason to cry when his big teddy bear is holding him.

Chapter Text

Okay so this is totally ignoring NML and the clench and knightfall bc my god jason could have NEVER handled that the way tim did and tim barely managed, my boy almost died like a dozen times sfsjskldkdks jason would not be able to deal with that bullshit sorry npt sorry

Cass takes tims place in yj since jason wouldnt fit at all, yj kids would hate his ass. Steph is also uninvolved with the yj kids because 1) they didnt like her ass or didnt know she existed 2) shes not all that social??? And rarely leaves gotham at all lol

Damian is here hes just muchhhh younger

Considering dick and bruces relationship really only healed bc of tim, theyre very low contact while dick is around new york with the titans and finally moves all the way in with kori then they both end up settling together in bludhaven tho he does stop by gotham to hang with jason and cass and say hi to babs tho hes like 20/21 so hes not too keen on hanging with 8/9 year old damian 

Jason is actually the one who did the whole world without grownups arc with bart and kon but bart and kon fucking hatttted his shitass vibes and never ever contact him again. They think hes an annoying booty shorts motherfucker who needs to shut up. Cassie is immediately made leader in this au xoxo

Cass however does get involved in the whole initial Secret debacle and bart and kon think that this "fuck up the gov officials days" badass is the COOLEST person ever

Cass likes the yj team, theyre funny and she scares them, which is also funny to her but her favourite person who isnt Babs is Tim

Tim managed to finagle himself out of boarding school and is currently attending gotham heights public school. Hes even more unsupervised than he was at boarding school, tho janet does call more often since he is no longer in boarding school custody and skips out on the trip to stay with tim over break, the trip that ends up with jack being dead

Janet gets busy with the company, tho she does come home at the end of the day so!!! Tims very happy about that but he cant resist the lure of stalking, especially bc local vigilantes just got SO much cooler with the sudden appearance of Huntress and new Batgirl. 

(Helena doesnt like Jason all that much either. Hes not little brother enough. Hes just annoying)

Naturally tho, Batgirl catches him and shes like 🤨🤨🤨 and tims gotta be like "okay so. I know this looks bad but have you ever heard of a thing called hyperfixation"

Cass, the next night when she sees him after she asked babs "Understandable."

Tim starts bringing her granola bars and water bottles while hes out on photo runs and she vibes with him. 

She originally starts going to the ballet academy tim attends after school bc she was investigating reports of a predator or trafficking but once that is dealt with she is Deeply invested in the classes and dancing and she decides to stay

Runs right into tim and theyre like 🕴🕴at each other bc he knows who she is and she knows he is but the other is not supposed to know that but ofc cass is like "you know." and tim just folds

At least she gets to hang out with her pet weirdo outside of patrol???

Lmao maybe cass meets harper bc harpers the go to for running lights and shit for shows

Cass finds she likes taking the traditionally male parts in dances bc shes stronger than literally every person at the academy and lifting people is nothing to her, and the costumes are also really fun lmao

The academy decides its gonna do a production of dracula after a huge anonymous donation (bruce lol) affords them the costumes and cass goes for the dracula part bc ITS SOOO FUCKING COOL THE SWISHY HUGE CAPE???? THE UNCANNY MOVEMENTS??? THE ARTISTIC VIOLENCE AND THE COYNESS???? AUGH.

Tim gets the part for mina and cass and tim have great dance compatability its just in the firts few rehearsals they keep giggling as soon as they start doing their dances

Bruce is initially offended for cass that they cast her as the monster (nevermind the fact that cass was after that part) but shes very excited abt it and also is like "if you bitch about this, youre uninvited"

Cass also finagles tickets for YJ and is like "here. Its for my show." Then leaves w no explanation. 

She does not tell their asses shes dracula lmao

The YJ kids are hyped as hell tho and all manage to gather this HUGE bouquet and arruve on the date and at the time and are entranced by this gorgeous, gorgeous ballet

Shsjjsjs casie brings along a pair of binoculars for greta to hide her smokey form in so she can also watch

Cissie watching the jonathan and dracula tango: ha,,,,gay.

They have no clue who batgirl is but theyre guessing based on height/build and theyve got it narrowed down to "Mina" and "Dracula"

Cassie, Greta, and Cissie are betting on Dracula while Kon and Bart insist on going underdog and saying batgirl is Mina

After the show, they manage to sneak back and split the giant bouquet in half, tho the bouquets are still quite comically huge

This is how cass reveals her identity to them btw because its incredibly funny to me

Bart: yeah kons one of my best friends would never leave him behind

Bart, the second he realizes theyve bet on the wrong person and are about to have an awkward encounter: 🏃‍♂️

Kon also quickly realizes this but hes already shoved the bouquet at Tim and said "you looked great out there."

Tims never gotten a bouquet this big (its a huge thing. Like. The stems all tied together are twice as wide as his neck and his entire face is hidden behind the flowers.)

Tim: oh. I think you may have the wrong person?

Kon: ....uhh,,,,maybe you were,,,,,the right person all along,,,,uhh,,,there are no accidents👍

He tried to be smooth and failed so bad but tim also laughed anyway so??? 

Tim: ive never gotten so many flowers at once. Thanks.

They end up chatting while tim walks him to where cass is and then cass starts laughing about their matching ridiculous flowers and now yj starts giggling then suddenly tims talkumg and rambling on w them 

Next thing he knows, he has a whole gaggle??? Of wild heroes??? Uh,,,,whoops. 

OHHH maybe the ballet academy also does Mayerling and Cass goes for Prince Rudolph while tim goes for mary vetsera??? 

Mostly cuz i enjoy cass tossing tim around like a pizza and i think cass should be allowed to portray a man who rolls around on stage and writhes pathetically bc itd be very funny to her

Bruce when he notices cass hanging out with tim (skatepunk ballet kid) and hes like,,,,hm :/ not a huge fan of this, cass shouldnt pay attention to boys, just Justice. 

Bruce idk what to tell you but your daughter has a crush on harper the light tech 

I really think those fucking,,,villainess dresses would suit tim SO well and ballet costuming can have so many villainess nightgown-esque costuming,,,,,

Not the point lol

Cass prefers going to tims place for practice bc she knows her siblings are sooo damn nosy :/

Also janet likes her when janet is there and not busy and cass can joke abt taking tims mom

Theres so many ballets tim and cass can do lol

Cissie did ballet when she was younger apparently but she may have hated it?? Cant remember lol

All i can think of is tim doing choreo for jessie wares Say You Love Me,,,,,,

Oh my god,,,cass getting the part for frankensteins creature in the frankenstein ballet,,,,,oh my god she would eat it upppp

Also the yj kids using tims room as a base for when theyre in troibke or just wanting to hang out 

Maybe tim doesnt even ever become a vigilante, hes just a civvie who chills w capes

I actually do really like just a civvie tim who doesnt pursue vigilantism bc he really only took up robin bc he had pretty much no other choice if he wanted bruce to not fall apart

And since he doesnt need to do that, he just,,,doesnt risk his life and organs bc he has no urge to be a vigilante without reason

So hes just some guy,,who occasionaly does night photography and hangs out w his very busy mother when he can, his weird cool vigilante sister, his weird hero friends, and does ballet

Chapter Text

No capes but magic is a Thing

Tim starts as the humble and exhausted ward of business tycoon bruce wayne, who took him in because jack drake had somehow ended up making a contract with jack that would end up with bruce as tims godfather and legal guardian should something happen, and bruce with a new subsidiary in healing magic research

Janet was not there for the deal and jack slept in a guest room for a full two years when she learned about what happened, especially bc they effectively gained nothing from jacks deal

She, ofc, wasnt betting on dying when tim was 13

This just so happened to have coincided with Jason Todd's recent kidnapping and bruce becoming secluded and far colder than he used to be

Tim ofc takes it upon himself to child therapize bruce till jason is found alive and returned, tho far angrier and bigger and meaner than he used to be

Tims constantly mediating between bruce and jason fights over how bruce himself didnt personally go to hunt down jason while bruce stresses that he was having so many people search for jason and he needed to keep up business to fund the search and bruce didnt want the kidnappers killed by the people who found him and jason, he cant pay people to kill have to let the law consider this and tims holding these fuckers together by a thread

Dick and Bruce are low contact amd every visit is a near boiling pot bubbling over but dick also doubles as a reprieve for tim bc he likes to take tim places and make tim laugh but also tim has to deal w the aftermath of "dick didnt visit me" from bruce

Cass' arrival means that tim gets a break from jasons Jason-ness bc initially jason tried to pull some shit on cass and she immediately cleaned his clock so jason doesnt fuck w her. Tim likes hanging with cass and walking with her to babs' place

Damian arrives and tim is. Well. Hes 10 (hes trying to hurt tim) but hey. Hes ten and tims been emotionally managing a grown ass man for pretty much the entirety of his teenagehood while also trying to assauge Jasons emotions. So, damian is a slice of cake. He is just 10 coming from a very messed up mage-cult. Tims got this. 

This first life tim has had all the life and spirit wrung out of him, and on his 18th birthday, he gets a bit too drunk and takes a bath and slips below the water, utterly exhuasted in every way possible and unwilling to fight Death, and wishes miserably that he couldve had another chance because then, he wouldve lived life to the fullest

Then he dies. He drowns in his tub after a quite honestly miserable and utterly bleak 18 years. 

Maybe some higher being took pity on him and after reviewing tims life, decided to do Tim a favour and rewind his life. Maybe it was something janet had done, made a deal to ensure tims happiness. Either way, the first timeline gets unspooled. 

Cue tim waking up in his bed, age 13, his parents already gone on the trip that'll end with them dead, and the memories of everything from his first life. Tim cant stop his parents from dying or jason from being kidnapped.

What tim CAN do, tho, is make sure that jason gets found sooner and that he isnt around when bruce comes to get him. 

So tim leaves a tip, starts moving accounts and stuff with forgeries and stuff he learned from the past life, hid a bunch of trinkets to sell when he had to take off, and by the time tims parents were dead, bruce was distracted enough with having found jason that it was easier for him to miss tims custody being passed to him and tim to run away.

Tim plans on getting a pretty little house somewhere far far away with enough rain, enough sunshine, a cute garden to try and grow some strawberries or blackberries, and wear pretty/fun clothes and have hobbies he genuinely enjoys like going to concerts and skateboarding and reading magic-scifi books

He also plans on learning to bake so he can have all the sweets and tasty bread of all kinds, cook more so he can eat lots of good food, garden so he can grow vegetables and fruits at home, adopt animals so he can have cute companions, even learn how to make clothes and jewelry so he can wear things that are unique and fit him well, but really hes more so focused on his dream home where he can be left alone and happy forever 

Ofc hes 13, not even 14, at this point and has to plan around these age related setbacks but he will get his lovely little house of his dreams, dammit!!!! Tims goal is to live a life of pure self indulgence and happiness!!! Only furthered by the inheritence he will receive upon turning 18, which he never planned on using for anything besides funding bruce's businesses and charities and such back in the first life. He will, ofc ,still donate to charities, and maybe he'll even continue the drakes business so he can get more money to fund charities and such, but tim wants to spoil himself in ways he never allowed for hinself in the first life. 

Somehow, he ends up running into a group of young rogue teens

Yeah its yj

Kon, the 15 year old younger brother of an extremely powerful wizard who has set out to train his...somewhat out of control magic for a full year before returning home

Bart, also 15, and an extraordinary genius of an artificer who may or may not be part speed/time demon and is wandering around to learn more about artificiery

Greta, 14, a newly awakened psychopomp who is looking for a temple of death that may revive her memories that shes lost besides her name

Cissie, 15 nearly 16, the runaway daughter of an ex- wannabe starlet who wants cissie to join the industry (cissie becomes a far more successful actress and lives separately from her mom while they have supervised meetings once a month)

Cassie, the oldest of the group at 16, an adventurer with gods blood in her veins, questing for a historical artifact that will wake her mom up from an enchanted sleep

Anita, also 16 but just barely younger than Cassie, a priestess of Vodoun magic who is looking for her late grandmothers hidden treasure to help guide her on her path to becoming a Mambo

S'lobo, just barely younger than Cassie, 16, a mercenary who was cast from the Lil' Lobo Mercenary group for being a runt and is kinda just there for shits and giggles and chaos

Tim in the past life was too busy managing the state of the family to be able to make many friends, and he did promise hinself that he was gonna live a life of self indulgence....

They get into troubles in some nearby town that tim gets entangled with and skip town with tim in tow and tims never had so much fun in his LIFE. 

Huh, apparently not being drained constantly in every possible way really makes it so much easier to live life and connect with people

Now on Bruces end, its been like 2 months and now hes finally noticed that uh he has custody of a whole ass new child that he missed and...said child is kinda sorta missing??? Gone to the wind, run off and outta town, nowhere to be found. Tims swung it so hes confirmed to still be alive and not dead but definitely not anywhere that could be easily found. Tims plan is to kinda hide till he hits 18, gets his inheritance, and is completely free, tho he does have a small personal account where he can access his own money quickly. Bruce is...well hes kinda freaked out that he lost a whole ass child. Gotta find him before anyone else realizes and bruce gets into some kind of legal trouble for losing tim. Child endangerment and what not. 

Meanwhile, tims having the time of his life. He got a temporary hair color changing charm so he can get streak/dip dye his hair pink or blue or whatever color he so pleases. Anitas teaching him how to upcycle his clothes. Bart has a billion little hobbies he shows and shares with tim to see what they both enjoy the most. Kons showing him how to garden and bake even while theyre traveling around. Greta inexplicably knows how to make really pretty homemade jewelry. S'lobo showed him how to skin animals to cook them. Cassie teaches him how to trim his own hair. Cissie shows tim how to find really nice clothes for cheap at stores. Tims the team money manager and researcher. He helps find rumpurs and leads that will take them where they need to go and do/get what they need. 

The yj kids like to hope around town after catching trains and stay at inns and look at the town boards for magic quests to get money while Tim gathers info about things, like where the Temple of Death could be for Greta or the magic artifact for cassie. Hes also scoping out possible properties for him to pick out and reside at when this is all over

Scooby Doo-esque antics when tim realizes that bruce is actually searching for him after 6 months of no acknowledgement of tims existence

Tim fears that if he gets found, he'll be condemned to an absolutely miserable life of emotionally labouring for bruce again and have all the life squeezed out of him when hes just found his zest and taste for life and this time he'll really die on purpose. So tim is like "so...uh...yknow how you guys kinda just picked me up at random? Uhhh im kinda a runaway and if i get found, i'll probably die"

Tims like 14 now but theyre all still young enough that tim doesnt sound like hes exaggerating at all and the yj kids are like "okay👍 if they catch you, we will tear them to shreds"

Even while tims lowkey being hunted down, YJ are still traveling around and cassie's found the artifact, anita has her grandmothers gift left behind, and now theyre really doubling down on finding the Temple of Death for Greta

Bruce, rather than adopting her, hires cass as a sort of bounty hunter to track down tim bc some people are starting to make noises about what seems to be the disappearance of Tim Drake 2 years ago and eyes are starting to land on bruce. Ofc nobody knows tims still been in contact with the account managers and has provided suitable enough evidence hes alive that he hasnt been deckared dead or something. 

Tims like 15 when they finally find the temple and gretas memories are restored. She goes to live with Anita and S'lobo who coparents her definitely not parents but her uh....niece and nephew who were left parentless while her uncle ish works. Cissie lives with cassie after they get the artifact to wake Helena Sandsmark back to life. 

Barts like "oh hey my uncle max wants me to come back to my apprenticeship with him now since ive been out and about longer than we though BUT if you think that keans im leaving you alone, youre funny. Youve acquired me for life."

S'lobo doesnt die 😊 yay!

The yj kids all still keep in contact even when their quests are done with. They cant stay away from each other lol. 

Tims like "hmm...i still havent found a nice house to buy...i dint want to spend so many reources on getting places at inns while i look" so kons like "hey just come back and live w me and my family :))) till you find your house" <-totally not hoping tim finds his ideal little house nearby...definitely not lol

Sghsjjddj tim finds out that kons house is massive wizard tower where Clark lives/works bc he lowkey forgot that clark and kon were siblings who were both mages who cant keep their maguc experiments in the house

Ofc attached to the land where the tower is is actually the farm houses for ma and pa kent as well as the Lane-Kent family where the families actually live 

Lmao imagine being clark, your younger brother pulls up after being away for longer than you thought, and he returns with a whole ass other person being like "hey clark, this is tim, hes a feral runaway :D id like to keep him please and thanks"

Well, whats clark gonna say? No? Tim looks like a half drowned kitten. Ofc hes gonna say yes. 

Lois and Clark now have another free live in babysitter and tims actually fine with this. Chris is an absolute treat and Jons a nice kid. Plus now hes learning to garden and cook and bake even better from Ma and lois totes him around like a purse dog while shes working so he can carry her materials and crawl into spaces shes too big for. 

Meanwhile cass has been slowly puecing together all the rumours of tim sightings and slowly drawing nearer and nearer to where tim is

Lmao maybe she just straight up kidnaps tim and hauls him back to gotham

This is where tims inner villainess behavior kicks in

Hes completely unreasonable, he demands to be released from what he calls "confinement and kidnapping", he bites bruces hand whenever bruce tries to get near him, and hes an utter terror to be near. Sometimes he'll even scream till his voice goes hoarse as he yells for kon or bart or cassie, cissie, anita, or greta. He doesnt talk to anyone and he wont look at anyone and galf the time he locks himself in his room so he can pretend he isnt back at this place. 

Cass, who has been kept on as a hire to prevent tim from escaping, thinks that despite her completing her job, she feels terrible. Tim clearly doesnt want to be here and he doesnt like anyone so she goes out, finds kon, who calls the other yj kids, and they basically break into the manor to kidnap tim back. Tim grabs cass and brings her along. She has been forcibly adopted by tim now. She is fine with this. 

Tim by age 16, finds a beautiful house that has 4 bedrooms with bathrooms plus a hallway powder room, and a kitchen, a sitting room, a dining room, a backyard garden, a front garden, and a wraparound porch. Its horrendously expensive and tims willimg to spend every bit of money hes saved up on it. Helps that kon still accepts quests, often with cassie and bart, and tim will go with and they all split the reward, and tim saves up as much of his as possible

Tim staring up at the ceiling realizing hes so super young and he can do so much and immediately petitions for emancipation. 

Tim being viewed as a villainess (at least to Bruce) continues when drake industries starts growing, not in wealth and power, but repuation as tim puts all his energy into expanding upon charities and causes he believes in, really going all in, now a rival for most popular company.

Meanwhile tims also loving his best life skateboarding and enjoying music and adopting just. So many cats. Hes got five cats. Or rather, dex, plus 4 kittens he found abandoned in the park. 

Cass has 18 years of finding out what she enjoys and likes to make up for. Sjes in for quite a ride but the yj kids absolutely be there to support her. 

Anita, Greta, Cissie, Cassie, Cass friendship,,,,,oughhhh

Slobo has gone from former mercenary/bounty hunter to...house companion. Beautiful. 

Bart likes to show up at random and cause problems, tim loves it

This really just is "tim gets to live his best life" 

Chapter Text

Tim is not a wayne

He actually lives with his Uncle Rich, a cousin from his fathers side, and his uncle Rich's wife,,,,uh,,,,Joanna. They took him in as tims closest relatives after tims parents died

Theyre also tryimg to murder tim

Why? Easy. Money. 

Tims just trying his best, sleeping at ives' house as often as he politely can (ives swears that his mom likes tim more than him, her own child) and stayimg out of the house amd not eatimg or drinking anything inskde the house after he caught aunt grace putting antifreeze in his hot chocolate when he was 14

Tims 16, hes holding out till 17 to petition for emancipation and then he plans to take off

He is thwarted by someone in the city being dumb as fuck and accidentally causing i jury to one of the "monsters" that live in the forest/mountain area nearby

The "monsters" rightfully demand recompense and the city officials are like "oh fuck!! What do we do???" 

So they consult old, ancient tomes and find that human sacrifices were often given as appeasement

Right, time to find a sacrifice

Aunt Joanna and Uncle Rich hear about this and stick tims name into the drawing pool 

Because the universe (me) hates him (read: loves to torture him) tims name is drawn 

Tim tries to argue he didnt consent to his name being drawn but his legal guardians did and this is a bit of a crisis, so just play nice and die, little sacrifice

Tim had actually already moved all his money and inheritance and shit to a secret account that only he knows how to access amd has it set up so of its not used in 10 years, it all gets sent right to charities and donations of all kinds and not a single relative will see even one (1) penny. 

Aunt Joanna and uncle rich set tim as the perfect candidate: no close relatives besides them, no significant other or dependents he needs to support, and no strict obligations like a college program hes in

Tim: im in school??? I have friends??? And a life???? Fuck you. 

Tim does put up quite a fight, breaking several peoples' fingers and someones molar, but in the end, hes carted off and prepped for sacrifice

He gets chained to some altar in the forest all "virgin sacrifice in shitty cult-based slasher flick" style and hes just cussing out the people chaining him there, his uncle and aunt, the government, the sky, the temperature, anything that comes to mind really

Everyone ditches him so they dont become monster chow like tim and tim kinda just starts counting leaves on nearby trees to pass the time till the monsters arrive

He wants to cuss them out before they eat him

Greta shows up, looking for what all of the "monsters" assumed would be cash compensation and sees tim on the altar 

Greta: ummm?????

Tim: oh hello. I dont have much meat on my bones so ill probably be gamey as fuck and ill also probably try and bite you, jsyk

Greta: UMMMM??????

She kinda just,,,sits by him 

Greta: sooo,,,im greta. I live here in the forest up in the village

Tim, absolutely intrigued and suddenly 78% less violent: village????

Greta: yeah, kind of a village anyway. Theres only like,,,,11 of us, maximum, and 3 of those people live in the same house bc even golems can have successful marriages

Tim: this is incredibly fascinating. Wow. Im assuming youre not the sort to eat people??

Greta: im a psychopomp sooo. No. 

Tim: cool beans. Can you let me out of here?

Greta releases tim, who immediately starts scribbling on a note he had on him

The note says " I lived bitch" and has a cartoon middle finger on it

Tim: can i come with u? I was just sacrificed and i lowkey dont wanna go back to the place that did that shit

Greta: Understandable, come this way

Bart: demon

Greta: psychopomp. Or a grim reaper. 

Cassie: werewolf

Cissie: vampire

(Vampire/werwolf but wlw,,,,yeah.)

S'lobo: lower Fae

Anita: mage

Red Tornado: golem

Mrs Sutton: human

Traya: human

Kon: half human half dragon???? Actually. That sounds good. I like that. 

Imagine your friend goes out to get the cash you thought you were getting as compensation and comes back with a whole ass human lmao

Greta: so. No money BUT. Friend :)

Tim: i have money if that helps

Greta: CORRECTION. friend with money :)

Tim: hey can i stay here? I just got offered as a sacrifice and i dont like those bitches anyway :/

Cassie: i mean if you were sacrificed to US...then that makes you ours' anyway???

Bart: thats exactly how deals work, trust me im a demon

The reason they wanted money was to pay for S'lobo's treatment bc he was the one who was injured by an iron bear trap and tims totally fine w paying to get slobo treated

Tim: life is so much more enjoyable when youre not in danger of dying!! :D

The people who dragged tim off to be sacrifice go back up in the morning to see if the sacrifice was taken and all they see is the chains and tims note "i lived bitch"

Uncle Rich and Aunt joanna are incredibly pissed once the news gets out bc not only do they not get any money, they dont have any more chances to try and get tims money bx he fucked off

Unsurprisingly, theres a lot of outrage over sacrificing a teenager (or anyone) to be eaten and uhh,,,oh!! Easy solution!!! Kill the monsters!!!

The Waynes are pro monster hunters

Bruce is a pro dragon slayer

Dick specializes in vampire hunting

Jason specifically goes for werewolf hunting

Damian is an exorcist who gets rid of demons

Babs works with them and is a Banisher of fae and ghosts

Cass can take on any monster so lomg as they have a corporeal form

Dukes actually a Null, and neutralizes all sorts of magic powers 

The officials are like: (sweats nervously) the monsters in the forest,,,uhhh,,,kidnapped a young boy,,,,and are holding him hostage,,,,yeah

Tims been getting used to forest/mountain life. Its a bit of trouble but hes getting used to it. So far hes been living w kon simce his house isnt built yet  because greta actually lives with the suttons and red tornado, slobo and anita are also living together in a partnership, cissie and cassie dont love together but they do visit each other often which is really easy bc the "village" is a actually just a really ting collection of houses clustered in a large clearing and bart was like "okay so. Would let you live with me BUT. uhhh,,,theres kinda enough demon gas in here to kill you,,,,,little human lol"

Puny little human tim + all his non human friends is really funny lmao

Tim gathers materials for anita and he'll skin animals with traya and mrs sutton that cassie catches. When red tornado patrols the edges of the village and the paths that lead to it and the areas that everyone frequents the most to check for hunters or traps, tim will go with him to some areas. Tim also sorts books and such for bart and he'll organize whatever kons hoarding. When cissie needs it, he will give her some blood. For slobo, he'll dog through metal bits that a wandering shapeshifter will tote along with him and trade for to make sure that anything iron gets handled by tim and not slobo

What a nice little life. Sure would be a shame if some well meaning monster hunters were to kidnap him and whisk him back to the guardians that tried to kill him...

Chapter Text

       Tim straightens up, stretching his arms above his head and he hears a nasty, deep crack as his back pops. He sticks his head out of the circular window propped open so he can take his mask off and shake it out, breathing in. The sewage stench from the bay isn’t too bad today, which is always pleasant. 

“Back to it,” Alfred calls as he dusts off the wooden boxes Tim had just uncovered.

“Hold on,” Tim says, looping the ties back around his ears as he goes back to shoving boxes around in place.

The attic isn’t too hot, which is a blessing, but it’s still warm enough up there and there’s enough manual labor that Tim doesn’t feel shy about being in his shorts and a thin t-shirt. There’s a large, looming stack of crates that are simply too large and heavy for Tim and Alfred to move together, so mostly Tim’s just carrying jewelry boxes, mirrors, various assorted knickknacks, paintings and medium crates of clothing. The cobwebs and dust bunnies have been evicted from their corners and crevices. Tim stacks a jewelry box on top of a small bunch of old paintings that Alfred probably deemed too ugly to be hung up in the Manor. His mother’s and grandmother’s paintings have been safely tucked away. Tim’s planning on grabbing them on his way out so he can find a place to put them in his Nest. Maybe he’ll put them in the Dress Up Room? He snags the broom and starts his vicious war against the floor. Tim turns too quickly and nails his foot against the corner of a locked trunk, nearly knocking an open cardboard box off of it. 

“Careful,” Alfred warns as he snatches the box up, “Lord, I forgot these were here.”

Tim sucks in a breath between his teeth and bites his tongue, counts to ten, and then lets go with a shaky breath. 

“What’s that,” he asks, peering inside.

“Old security tapes from when Master Bruce was young,” Alfred informs him, his crow’s feet stretching with quiet, restrained fondness. 

“You should go watch them,” Tim says, massaging his throbbing foot, “We’ve done our part. Bruce can pick up the heavy stuff and move it around later.”

Alfred squeezes Tim’s hand briefly, cradling the box of tapes gently.

Tim waits till Alfred shuts the hatch behind him and is out of the attic before he drops on top of the trunk, clutching his foot and muttering, “Ow, fuck, ow ow ow ow.”

At least he didn’t break his toe nail or his toe, so there’s that. He sags, rolling his ankles and wrists while he’s draped over the trunk. There’s something a little familiar about the trunk, actually. It’s a dark brown with a lot of straps on it and silver buckles. He rolls off onto the floor and begins to work the straps out of the buckles, flipping the lid open. Pools of fabric fill up the interior, all various shades of pale colors. None are silk or satin, something he notices when he smooths his hands against all of the clothing piled in there. Soft, thin cotton and linen, his fingers closing around a long, grey robe. He knows this one. His mother’s favourite robe, the one she’d wear most often when his father would spend days at the office and they’d drink tea while sitting on the ground, digging their feet into the soft ground. Oh. These are all his mother’s clothes. Tim looks over to the hatch and then stands, grabbing one of the nightgowns. It’s a blinding white, long sleeved and flowy cotton. He actually can’t recall his mother ever wearing this one, especially because she hated white clothes. Still…if he were to put it on, it’d fit him perfectly. Tim sets the nightgown back down and snaps the lid closed.

He opens the attic hatch and hollers, “Hey, Alfred! I’m gonna take some stuff back with me!”

       Alfred checks over each tape to ensure that it’s able to be played. These had been from the first and second generation Wayne Security System installed in the Manor. The cutting edge of technology back in those days, though not quite so much now. He lands on one that had a label scribbled on in thick black marker that had clearly been Master Bruce’s handwriting from his youth.

“Evidence of ghosts,” Alfred murmurs to himself. 

Quite curious. Alfred inserts the tape into the player and watches as the television screen fizzles and blinks before the tape begins to play. A young Master Bruce, around 15, snuck across the grounds in clear line of sight of the cameras. Alfred shakes his head. Clumsy young lad, still awkward with his new height and limbs that didn’t quite fit his gait.

Between the grainy shutters of the video, a small figure in vivid white slowly drifts forward. A young Master Bruce doesn’t notice this specter, too focused on digging a hole in the ground in the absolute dead of night. The small figure draws closer and closer still, till it is merely an arm’s length away. The footage is too coarse to pick out proper features, but the little figure in white seems to say something. A young Master Bruce shoots to his feet, his eyes presumably wide as his jaw seems to hang open. The footage stutters and fizzles, and between frames, Master Bruce darts away with his terror clear. Slowly, the figure throws its head back, arms clasped over its stomach, as it laughs.

There’s something about the way the figure’s laugh seems to be directed to nobody besides itself and the sky that is ever so familiar. Perhaps it is time for this ghost to be confronted by Master Bruce, and have its identity revealed. 

Chapter Text

I was thinking maybe tim does some illegal animal trade busting and he happens upon a dirty cage with two little cockatiels

Tbh theyre both based on my female 'tiel who genuinely looks like the platonic ideal of a pied cockatiel

Mostly yellow with little grey markings on the chest and wings, the red orange cheek circles, the little pink feet and the cute little peachy beak with the round black eyes, sooo fluffy and puffy and soft (when healthy)

The cockatiels got missed in the clean up of the bust and tim cant just leave them 

So. Dirty cage goes in red bird and now tim has two little 'tiels to take care of while he figures out what to do with them

Tims search history:

• Bird bath
• How to give birds bath
• What bird is this
• How to give a cockatiel a bath
• How to safely wash cockatiel

Now theres different ways to wash a bird but based on my own two 'tiels, our gray whiteface cockatiel prefers being misted with a spray bottle and lukewarm water and he doesnt really like going in a dish. Our pied 'tiel prefers going inside of a dish and then just letting herself soak in lukewarm water. She doesnt like getting misted all that much but she loves to sit in water to the point she will get into the water bowl we have in the birdcage and bathe in it

Tim probably goes for the dish method and just lets them soak

He has to change the water out a good number of times bc they were quite dirty, tho birds generally love being clean

Id say both the 'tiels are female and came from the same clutch of eggs

Female cockatiels are generally pretty quiet, which led to a major surprise for my family when we got our male cockatiel and hes singing all the time (despite me fucking TELLING THEM A MALE TIEL WOULD BE MORE PRONE TO SINGING LIKE YOU GUYS WANTED HIM SO STFU AND STOP COMPLAINING HELLLOOOO)

Sorry. Im a bird enthusiast

Tim manages to get them pretty cleaned up and ends up spending the whole night on parrot forums asking questions and looking at answers others had gotten on similar asks <- things i toootally don't do,,,,ive never wasted 7 hours perusing parrot owner forums

Tim ends up going out at like 7 a.m. to buy a travel cage and get the 'tiels to the vet

Dhdjdjjd the dirty look he gets from the vet before he explains that he rescued them last night "from a roadside where he found them abandoned in a cage"

The 'tiels end up being named Cheep and Chirp

Congrats tim, u have birds now!!!

Cheep and Chirp are prwtty quiet and dont bother tim when they do sing

God the absolutely huge cage tim gets for them,,,,plus the fact that he ends up just leaving the cage doors open for them anyway

For oue birds, we always have the cage doors and roof open so they can come in and out as they please. Vets suggest tiels get like 6 hours out of the cage i think??? Our 'tiels get from 6:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. and theyre lretty damn happy

Having to clean out the cages regularly helps inspire tim to work on his own self care

Birds will shit literally anywhere and everywhere

Its really not as gross as youd think tbh. Its just mushy nuts, pellets, and fruit and veggie bits. It doesnt even smell unless youve let it cake up WHICH YOU SHOULDNT.

Tims cinstantly cleaning the bird water bowl you will not believe how often birds will shit in their own drinking water then proceed to drink it. 

Birds are soft tho,,,,,tims constantly stroking Cheeps and Chrips little heads bc he did not expect birds to be so soft

Tim when he gives his birds a lil bit of boiled egg: lol. Lmao, even. 

Es i promise its cool to give ur birds a lil bot of boiled eggie. Healthy even

Tim worried out of his mind abt chronic egglaying in Cheep and Chirp,,,that fwar is so real tbh

Idk i like the thought of tim just chilling on his couch w two birds perching on him, fluffimg out their feathers and resting with one foot each tucked up into their feathers. Supreme coziness tbh

Chapter Text

        Tim misses swimming. Well, he misses the sea and singing and hunting, but he misses swimming in general. Showers and tubs aren’t enough for him. His tail is too long to feel comfortable inside a little porcelain tub, his fins rubbing against the sides and his hair getting caught painfully on the bathtub spout. He hasn’t been able to comfortably swim around in the average bathtub since he was a little minnow.

Besides, he doesn’t really enjoy the prospect of being crouched in the dorm room bath and having to be eye level with all of the missed mildew and grime in the crevices. If he could, he’d just grab his car and drive out but Brentwood doesn’t exactly offer the best opportunities for him to escape, not to mention all the time constraints and Robin duties he has to consider. 

Tim hunches over his can of sardines and miserably licks at the flakes of skin left over on his fingers. He rinses out the can in the bathroom and stuffs it under his bed to dispose of later. Alfred hasn’t noticed his distinctively pescatarian eating habits, but he has noticed that Tim’s lost weight again. It’s not Tim’s fault that Jack banned him from driving around so he can’t get to the sea to hunt properly. And as much as he loves Cecilia, he can’t make himself take her up on her offer to have free reign on her family’s territory in the Gotham Bay. Gotham fish tastes nasty . Thunder rumbles outside of his dorm room window; no Robin on a night like this, not with the storm incoming. Tim sits up and grins. No Robin means no patrol, and no patrol means he can potentially sneak out. 

He remembers Star mentioning a public swimming pool that’s been out of use for the past month and a half. A Bristol local pool will probably be cleaner than the average Gotham public pool, at least clean of those interesting chemicals that get dumped in the Bay. Still gross in the way a typical public pool is but the ocean can carry some nasty stuff in it anyway, no bother to him. He thinks that the Bristol one is the kind that’s inside a building, which lowers the risk of him being spotted. It’s not a lake or even a large pond but a pool is better than a bathtub. Tim empties out his backpack quickly, stuffing his pepper spray and taser inside along with his lockpicking set. A towel is a good idea too, if only because he doesn’t want to try and shove himself back into his clothes while still dripping wet. There’s a knock on his door and Tim shoves his backpack under his bed. 

“Yeah,” he hollers, getting up to open the door.

“Please tell me you have the notes for English,” Buzz begs as he pushes his way inside, Kip and Danny following.

“I do, actually,” Tim says, “I finished them during lunch. I have history notes too but I kinda need notes for math?”

Danny holds up his notebook. “Got those.”

Tim digs around through the pile on the floor for his History and English notes. It’d be good to get all his weekend homework out of the way anyway. The shimmer of something brassy catches his eye and he notices a thin cuff around Danny’s left wrist. It’s engraved all the way around from what Tim can see, and a singular small, dark gem is embedded in the metal. Danny’s sleeve shifts down and Tim’s eyes dart back down to his homework even as he feels dark eyes settle on the spot on his throat where his pearl dangles against his skin. Tim tugs up the collar of his hoodie and starts scribbling down the answers for his Physics worksheets.

When night starts to settle, Tim goes to Alfred. The windows shake in the wind, raindrops spattering against the glass while a low roar of thunder rolls over the sky. It’d be a wonderful night to go to the sea, but Tim’s still confined to the limits of Bristol. 

“I think I’m going to bed early tonight,” Tim lies, fidgeting with the thin hem of his too-big t-shirt.

Alfred glances out the window and grimaces.

“A fine idea,” he agrees, “Any adventures tonight would be ill advised.”

He shoos Tim off to bed, even giving Tim a hot water bottle to curl around under the blankets. Tim feels like a massive jerk but he needs to swim in at least the pool. He’ll go nuts if he can’t. And, well, it’s not like he doesn’t trust Alfred but eventually he and Bruce will stop fighting so Alfred will go back to the Manor, and Alfred will tell Bruce anything.

All Tim can imagine is having his siren powers be trained and put to use in the most functional ways, sucking out all the joy Tim gets from simply existing as himself, the water sliding against his gills while he lures in fish to his maw. Tim imagines Bruce getting him to swim through the sewers and sing to lure criminals every night, turning Tim’s entirety into a tool. It sounds miserable . Tim waits, sliding his pajamas off and changing into jeans and a hoodie. He can’t really skateboard in this weather, but Tim’s a good runner. He cracks the window open, slowly inching his way out so Wes doesn’t wake up. Not that he would wake up for something like this, considering a marching band couldn’t shake Wes awake. Tim hunches low, crawling along the outer ledge. He’s nearly reached the drainpipe when his shoes squeal and slip against the slippery cement. His fingernails dig into the nearest windowsill, clinging on desperately. A broken ankle would fucking suck right now. The window behind him creaks. A brassy bracelet flashes.

“Hi,” Tim breathes.

“Hi,” Danny replies, “You look a little…drowned.”

“And you look like you’re gonna sneak out,” Tim points out with a grin because he lives to be a hypocrite.

“So do you,” Danny says, tugging on the strap of Tim’s backpack, “But it also looks like you forgot your umbrella.”

Tim shrugs. “It’ll be fine. Need help getting down?”

Danny swings himself out of the window and shuts it behind him. They slowly crawl along the ledge, sliding down the cold drainpipe and ducking into the trees. Over the wall and onto the sidewalk outside of Brentwood. The rain only pours down harder, pasting their hair to their face and their clothes to their skin, so the towel Tim brought never mattered at all. Somehow, they’re still walking together. 

“Where are you actually going,” Tim asks.

Danny shakes his head, flicking the long, dark hair that’s sealed itself against his skin. “Some place. You?”

Tim laughs, picking at his soaking wet hoodie cuff. “Also a place.”

The public pool is a looming figure in the distance. Tim expects Danny to keep walking on and leave Tim, but he just…stays. 

“Were you coming here too,” Tim questions him as he swings his backpack off and begins to root around for his lockpicking set. 

“I guess so,” Danny says, “Hey, where’d you learn to pick locks?”

The lock clicks open and Tim pushes the doors open wide enough for both of them to slip inside. It’s warm, slightly humid. Tim knows the heating and cooling system’s broken here, cool when it’s meant to be warm, and warm when meant to be cool, always changing temperature at random. The security cameras have been shot for years. It’s perfect.

“I think it might’ve been from…God, I totally forgot which boarding school it was but I was, like, 11,” Tim replies, “It took me a while to actually get good at it though. I’ve had this set since I started and if it ever breaks, I’ll probably cry.”

He drops his lockpicking set back into his backpack. It smells like chlorine and wet cement. The harsh white lights of the pool snag on Tim’s pearl and Danny’s bracelet. Tim stares achingly at the sloshing water that laps at the tiled sides. He can’t swim like he wants to, but even just being in the water would be nice, he supposes. He dunks his head under the water, breathing deep. When he pulls his head back up, Danny had removed his bracelet and set it on the ground.

“Oh,” Tim mumbles 

Snake scales are very different from fish scales, and snake tails are very different from fish tails. Dark brown and banded black across the back, the flat tan on the underside lacking the black scales. There’s scales on Danny’s face too, one in particular on the right side of his nose like a freckle. His sweater and jeans are in a pile so Tim can see that there’s bits of opaque scales sticking to his arms, irritating the human flesh being revealed by Danny's t-shirt. 

“I’m shedding scales,” Danny admits, snake fangs and human teeth gleaming in the sharp white-blue light of the pool, “I- please tell me you don’t hate Naga because it’d be really awkward if you did.”

Tim laughs and shakes his head.

“I don’t.”

        Danny registers Tim starting to pull his hoodie off and turns right around to face the wall. The water splashes, and Tim’s pearl is resting on a pile of clothes and Tim’s backpack. Danny leans over the side of the pool. Tim resurfaces slowly, just enough that his big, pale eyes rise above the water. His lashes are beaded with drops of water, and his hair, an even darker shade of black when wet, is so much longer, bleeding out into the pool around Tim. Tim’s got scales on his face too, except instead of looking like random patches scattered across him, it’s like little, curving designs along his cheekbones and dotting his cheeks where freckles should be. The two beauty marks under Tim’s left eye are still there, though. 

“Oh,” Danny realizes, “You’re…a fish.”

Tim swims closer, leaning against the edge of the pool. He grins, rows of clean, sharp teeth flashing.

“Siren,” Tim corrects, speaking with a trilling melody he doesn’t seem to notice, “Hey. We both have scales.”

Tim’s scales are pink. A really pale pink, and when he shifts around, the pink looks a little bit pale purple, and there’s threads of pale gold in his scales too. The ugly white of the pool lights seem too harsh for the soft colors that glitter under them. 

“You’re way more sparkly than me,” Danny points out.

“Snakes don’t sparkle.” Tim shrugs. “Do you need help?”

He gestures to the peeling scales along Danny’s forearms that scratch at his skin. Tim’s long claws help Danny shred carefully at the peeling scales, the scraps of shed scales pooling in the webbing between Tim’s fingers. Up close, it’s so much easier to notice the violent press of ribs against thin skin, even covered in glittering scales. Everytime Tim leans down, Danny can’t help but wince at the sharpness of Tim’s shoulder blades and spine sticking out. 

“The humidity in here probably helped with your scales coming loose,” Tim says, “I’m guessing you had to come here because you’re too big for a tub?”

Danny nods. “Yep, it’s unbelievably uncomfortable to try and coil up in there and get these off.”

Tim nods eagerly, his frilly ears flicking. “Right?! Humans have no clue how to accommodate others. But hey, we don’t have horrible little human knees.”

“We don’t have horrible little human knees,” Danny agrees, “I’m guessing that you just…wanted to swim?”

Tim closes his eyes, sighing. “Mhm. I miss the sea. Hunting. Singing. Storms.”

Danny coils his tail around himself, resting his elbows in the middle. 

“What’s it like,” he asks, “Storms, that is.”

Tim hauls himself up, his tail swinging over the side so he can roll on to his back and stare up at the reflective ceiling over them. Danny lays on his back too, tail bunching across the wet cement. 

“The storms,” Tim trills, “I like to swim out to find the huge waves during storms, the kind that would wreck ships and crush them like paper. The towering ones. I’ve seen some that are bigger than you could ever imagine, and the wind pushes them higher and higher, all the way up to the sky. Swimming along the crest of them is the closest you could ever get to flying on your own, and then when they crash down, it’s like falling off the tallest building but without dying. And someday, I’m gonna go to the Saltstraumen maelstrom.”

Danny blinks his eyes open. He’d been nearly lulled to sleep, not out of boredom but from the deep sense of contentment that had settled over him with each word Tim sings. 

“Like a whirlpool,” he questions. 

Tim hums with a wide smile. “Mhm. It’s this huge whirlpool in Norway, and there’s also the Moskstraumen off the coast of Norway. And then near Scotland, I wanna swim the Corryvreckan whirlpool and then try the Niagara whirlpool too. But swimming the Saltstraumen has to be first.”

Danny turns so he’s lying on his side, head propped up on his arm. 

“When you do, tell me what it’s like.”

Tim rolls on to his stomach, and the ends of their tails knock against each other. 

“I will,” Tim replies, “Each one I go to.”

They don’t really notice when the ends of their tails twine together, snake scales and fish scales whispering against each other as the water in the pool swished back and forth, back and forth quietly. 

Chapter Text

       Tim puts the tissue box down on his coffee table and makes a little nest of blankets and pillows for Cissie when she comes storming out of the guest room, tossing her phone on to the ground. Helpful as always, Dex smacks the phone under the couch and purrs. Tim scratches him behind the ear as Cissie roughly scrubs her cheeks with a tissue, scrunching it up in her fist. 

“I thought we were making progress,” she laughs breathlessly, “Me growing up and her finally getting her shit together to not act like a goddamn egomaniac. It’s all just a fucking lie so she can keep playing me like a Barbie doll.”

Tim nudges a particularly well-stuffed pillow into her arms so she can squeeze it viciously. Cisse’s short nails dig into the fabric. 

“Damn superhero movie,” Cissie mutters, “For what? I’m already doing a movie. She’s just pissed I didn’t go through her to sign on for it and now that filming’s nearly done, she can wrangle me back in.”

Cissie sniffles. 

“I can help you find somewhere else to live,” Tim offers, “For when you’re not travelling. I can even set up a place for you here on a lower level. Any place away from your mom if you want it.”

Cissie sighs, her long hair flipping over her knees when she tucks them up against her torso. 

“Can I think about it later,” she croaks, “I just…I kinda wanna feel pissed right now.”

Cissie’s head shoots up, her eyes bright. 

“Tim,” she giggles wildly.

“Yes,” Tim answers, not quite sure what’s about to happen.

“Where’s the nearest tattoo parlor that does piercings? I wanna do something I’ve been wanting for a year now.”

Ohhh. Okay. “It’s thirty minutes away,” Tim answers, already freeing himself from the blankets, “Get dressed.”

“Can I drive,” Cissie asks.
Tim wants to say no. He doesn’t often let other people drive him but Cissie looks too torn up for him to say no. 

“We’re taking one of my other cars,” Tim agrees, “One of the ones without plates.”

Cissie whoops and ducks into the spare room. Tim slips down into the Dress Up Room. He’s gonna do something mildly stupid tonight.

Tim unties the straps on his halter top and rolls his shirt down. There’s a tiny patch of red skin around Cissie’s belly button and a shiny little piercing with a tiny butterfly dangling against the inside of her belly button. Her eyes are still a little red but her grin is so wide that it almost looks like it hurts. Tim doesn’t even flinch as the needle slides through his flesh and the barbells click securely into place. They run out of the parlor, laughing hysterically. 

“Oh my God, my mom’s gonna kill me,” Cissie cackles, “I’m dead, Tim! She’s gonna bury me!”

They roll the windows down and Cissie guns the engine. The car roars underneath them, and Tim undoes his halter top once more, letting it pool around his waist. 

“Not if she doesn’t find out,” Tim reminds her, his hand sticking out of the window.

Cissie laughs again, and takes a sharp left. Tim smushes against the car door.

“Don’t drive home yet,” Tim yells over the whistle of the wind, “Just drive!”

Cissie hollers in excitement and takes a right to get on to the bridge, intent on tearing up the empty outer streets of the Bristol area. He can’t even tell her to slow down, because that was one of the first things he’d done as soon as he’d gotten his hands on a liscence. They drive, far too fast honestly, the music flowing out of the windows to obnoxiously grate against the quiet Bristol night. The dull roar of a motorcycle rumbles behind them, and Tim chances a look at the rearview mirror. 

“No way,” he breathes.

Colin and Damian are on their tails, right on what both kids called ‘The Cycle of Abuse’. 

“Faster,” Cissie asks, already pressing down on the gas.

“Faster,” Tim agrees giddily. 

Cissie drives like she wants to die. Every turn she takes feels so sharp that it might cut him in half. Twisting and turning down the streets that Tim knows so well, rose-gold gleaming against Cissie’s stomach under the sparse streetlights and the faint reflection of headlights glaze over the silver barbells in Tim’s nipples. The music’s so loud that Tim can feel a headache coming on and his throat feels raw from the yelling and the singing. His skin is cold from the chilly blast of air jabbing needles into his exposed flesh. He can see goosebumps raised up on Cissie’s arms. They’ve long since ditched the kids tailing them and they’re running back over the bridge, tires squealing so awfully it hurts his teeth. This was such a good decision that he can’t care. 

Chapter Text

     Bruce went to a handful of funerals when he was young. Two stood out in particular: his parents’ and Mr. Alistair Drake’s funeral. He remembers holding Alfred’s gloved hand as Alfred held the wide black umbrella over their heads. The rain had been light, but the mist had been so thick it was difficult to listen to the priest reciting a speech. Bruce’s parents’ funeral hadn’t had one of the Christian priests, even when some older board members had tried to insist on it.

The funeral had been small, with only him and Alfred as the avelim, accompanying his parents to the graves from the synagogue. The rabbi was old, much older than Alfred. He’d watched his mother grow up, even though Bruce didn’t know him personally it felt right to have him there. Mr. Drake’s funeral was the first one he went to where there’d been a priest. He hadn’t been very old, but he apparently just keeled over one morning, dead before he hit the ground. The whispers blew through the socialites like a storm’s wind; the day after Alistair died, everyone thought Lady Malinda to be a witch like her mother who killed her husband.

Bruce had already privately thought Malinda to be a witch. She never went into the church like her husband, and Bruce’s father once whispered to him that an apothecary was just a modern term for ‘witch’. He remembers his mother berating his father for calling Lady Malinda that. That day, cold and fog swirling around thicker than one of Alfred’s cream-based stews, Malinda stood as tall as her small stature would allow. Beneath the thin webbed veil that hung from the wide brim of her black hat, Lady Malinda’s pale eyes gleamed with a cold countenance. She did not blink, not often enough that Bruce noticed, and her long, sharp nails gleamed a dark shade of red against the dark handle of the umbrella and Janet’s black-clad shoulder. Unlike Janet’s, Lady Malinda’s hair was blacker than ink and straighter than a pin, barely ruffling in the wind as it draped smoothly over her bony shoulder. Her mouth, dark red and stiff, did not twitch into a frown or a smile. She did not cry. She did not wail. She stood still as a statue, even as the funeral drew to a close and her husband’s coffin was lowered below the ground.

Bruce remembers Janet. There’s been the flash of a not-fresh-but-only-a-couple-days-old bruise around her wrist in fingerprint shapes, hidden under her black lace gloves. She’d held a single red rose, the petals wilting off and the stem bending in her tight grasp. Rain splattered the black patent leather of her shoes, beading in the loose curls of her dark blonde-brown hair. It’d been the first time she’d ever worn red lipstick, red like merlot, the double string of pale pearls on her neck glistening with the tiny sapphire clasp resting against her collarbone. Red like blood and white like bone and the blue of the sapphire paling in comparison to the arctic blue of her biting eyes. It’s the first time he’s ever been scared of a girl, even one as small and fine as a bird’s skeleton because when everyone leaves, she lingers. The rose creaks in her fist and she pulls a lighter from her dress’s pocket. Somehow, even as it drizzles faintly, the rose petals smolder in the flames as it falls into the soil. The fire sputters out, charred petals crumpling against the cold headstone. Her hollow eyes land on him where he sits in the tree, suit rumpled and pocket square missing. Her lip curls back like an angered junkyard dog, and the tree branch creaks under him. Bruce scrambles down, afraid of it falling and maybe Malinda isn’t the only witch. Never once did Janet cry at her father’s funeral.

Bruce watches Tim rest a single red rose against his father’s grave, smiling faintly to himself.

“You know, I’ve never liked red roses,” Tim muses, sliding his fingers across the headstone, “My mother hated them too. She told me she hated them even when she was young.”

Sometimes if Bruce sees Tim from the corner of his eye, he can imagine the silver streaks that cut through Lady Malinda’s hair threading through Tim’s hair. Tim has his grandmother’s hair. 

“Why,” Bruce asked.

Tim’s painted nails are chipping and they’re red, the same color as merlot. The sapphire of Tim’s silver ring glimmers, the snake’s eye winking maliciously at Bruce. Bruce wonders if Tim has that necklace of double strings of pearl that Janet owned, the one with the tiny sapphire clasp. He imagines that the tiny sapphire would sit exactly against Tim’s collarbone where it had on Janet. 

“Her father used to give her mother a red rose everyday,” Tim says, placidly flicking dirt off of Jack’s grave.

Tim’s upper lip curls, Janet’s doberman grimace. 

“My father would give my mother red roses too, just huge bunches of them,” Tim huffs, thin fingers curling around the stone engravings of Jack’s name with Lady Malinda’s hawk-like harshness, “He never did figure out how much she hated them. He was an old romantic. Didn’t mesh well with her.”

Tim’s face softens, fingers dancing across the stone. “He tried so hard sometimes. I can only feel bad for him. Poor man.”

The rose was already wilting when Tim had rested it on Jack’s grave. Little loose curls coil around Tim’s ears and the nape of his neck where Tim’s long hair is tied up in a small scrunchie. “If someone gave me red roses,” Tim continues, “I’d feel bad for that person. I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from burning those roses up.”

Bruce wonders if there’s a lighter in Tim’s pockets. Tim turns on his heel, hollow eyes pinned on Bruce as he looks over his shoulder.

“Come on, B. Lucius is waiting for us.”

Bruce remembers Tim crying at his parents’ funerals. He still wonders if Malinda wasn’t the only witch. 

Chapter Text

      Loving Tim is like trying to bite into a lemon. Not candied lemon rinds or licking lemon juice off of your fingers when you squeeze it into water to feel fancy and healthy. Just plucking a lemon from a tree and sinking your teeth into it. 

Dick gets the appeal. The burst of fresh zest, the sudden sting of something tart and bright on the tongue. It’s Tim’s quick laugh and soft touch. The easy to love things. The zinging scent of something vaguely sweet and sharp. Tim’s clever eyes. 

Dick gets it. Lemon meringue pies, lemon bars, lemonade on broiling days. Lemon slices in ice water. It’s so easy to love lemon flavors, and Dick thinks it’s even easier to love Tim. He gets that draw to that lemon tang. He gets that draw to Tim’s good nature. 

Still, there’s a reason why normally, nobody just bites into lemons. The rind stinging your gums as your teeth dig deeper into the flesh, and that bitter bite on the inside of your mouth. Degrading the enamel of your teeth with its acidity. A lemon is something bittersweet. It’s tart and tangy, harsh and sour. That’s why people like lemon custard, a blow already softened with sugar or a bite mellowed by cream. That’s why people like lemon flavor, something that’s watered down from the sting that lemon scratches on the roof of the mouth. Tim’s not lemon flavor. 

Tim’s that lemon right from the tree, not peeled and barely washed. Tim’s that tooth-buzzing acid feeling on the inside of the mouth. He’s the bizarre bitterness of accidentally crushing a lemon seed between your teeth and the pulp stuck between the teeth. Fresh lemon juice right down the throat, making your eyes water. Tim's sour and Tim's got a bite.

And Dick would take that over some too mellow, yellow candy in the shape of lemons, poorly imitating their real citrus counterparts. The corners of Dick’s mouth crack as he grins at Tim, who smiles back with bright eyes and that zest that makes his papercut fingers scream. Dick’s never claimed to be anybody normal, and he would pluck a thousand lemons from their trees, biting right through the rind cuz loving Tim is even easier than that, and it’s just as astringent and just as bright.

Chapter Text

            There’s a black widow’s web being spun between the wall and his arm chair. Jason watches the flash of black and red as the black widow winds its silk around the body of a struggling roach and thinks that the spider, half the size of the wriggling, shiny roach with helplessly skittering legs and twitching antenna, is much like Tim. The wisps of the spider web seem incomplete, messy. Unintentional and absolutely nonsensical. Yet, this web does not fail to catch its prey, and this spider eats well.

Tim chatters and he stumbles, a clumsy body that doesn’t move in time with his mind. Jason sees it all the time. And each time, he sees the shimmer of spider silk that Tim spills right from his mouth, winding it around and around and around till it’s too late to notice you’ve tripped right into his clever, messy web. 

The spider is a pretty one, he’ll admit it. Glossy, oil-slick black exoskeleton, only blemished with color by the slash of scarlet that makes up that telltale hourglass on the underside of its abdomen. Jason’s seen Tim tilt his head just right, smile and bat his lashes in a particular- though unintentional- way, and a buncha poor schmucks will trip right into his trap, smothering themself in the strands of the web. Tim spins a web and Jason bets that the kid chews ‘em up and spits ‘em right out, like gum. Sucks up their vitality the way a black widow will eat their liquidated quarry.

Tim’s hair is glossy black, and his mouth isn’t red but it’s painted a shade of pink that’s just as telltale as the hourglass. Tim keeps his lip tint in his pocket and every fresh coat is like the killer venom that a black widow has. 

Jason’s younger brother is like a black widow. With a clever, deceiving web spun just the same as Tim will spin his words round like cotton candy on a stick, too sweet to not melt your teeth. Candy floss ain’t that different from a spider’s silk, it clings to ya either way. Flies aren’t too different from gaping boys who trip ass backwards into that candy floss-sticky silk of a web, twitching around just as much while Tim wraps ‘em up till he wants to take a bite.

The spider spins a web in Jason’s apartment, and Tim spins some words for Bruce, who falls for it like the roach in the trap. The spider digs into a bundle in the web, some long-since caught prey. Tim curls his arms around Dick, and Dick doesn’t think at all about the glint in Tim’s eyes. The black widow in his house curls up, twitching legs as the bug spray suffocates it, and it crunches under Jason’s boot heel.

Tim smiles, and Jason’s sure Tim’s not lying (and Jason’s no better than a fly, or a moth, or a roach that falls right into the carefully crafted cloud of spiderwebs that the black widow wove). 

Chapter Text

          He’s not sure what he’s thinking when he extracts that last bit of DNA from one of Kon’s shirts and lets his own DNA be added to the mix. All he can hear is the beeping of the progression bar getting closer to 100%. Maybe he thought that it’d fail like every other time. But it doesn’t. It hits 100% and the computer chimes out its completion, and Tim’s suddenly washed over with the sinking, freezing dread. What did he do? He throws open the pod and watches steam rise up, coiling into the air before dissipating. In the bottom of the tube, pale green liquid sloshing around, is a tiny baby. Only a month old in development he has to guess, with its little legs bunched up and its tiny arms splayed out. Tim stumbles back, covering his mouth so he doesn’t retch. What did he do? God, God, what did he do? Can he somehow terminate it? It’s not like he can put a partially Kryptonian-human baby into the system! A soft wail rings out and his heart lurches at the sound of tiny fists splashing in the liquid in the tube. He gropes around for something and lands on the t-shirt that carried the sample that brought the baby into the world. Leaning down into the tank, he wipes the baby down with one side and flips it over so he can wrap the baby up. Big eyes crack open. Tim sucks in a breath. Blue, exactly like Kon’s, but more with Tim’s eye shape. Tim’s nose and chin, but Kon’s mouth, concealed by round, chubby cheeks like a cherub. The baby has Kon’s skin tone. Lucky baby. The baby stops whining and curls tiny fists against a tiny chest. So frail. Her little cap of fine curls lay damp against her head and oh. She’s a little girl. Tim stares into her big, impossibly blue eyes and knows. She’s perfect, and she’s his. How could he even think of terminating her? How could he ever give her up? Tim falls to his knees, clutching his baby to his chest, sobbing into the black fabric that wraps around her. 

“I’m sorry,” he sobs, “I’m sorry, I won’t ever think that again.”

He hears the echo of footsteps. Cassie calling his name. She gapes at him. 

“Tim,” she croaks, “What did you do?”

“Cassie,” he coughs, “Cassie, help me.”

Strong arms coil around him.

“Oh, Tim,” she whispers, “Tim.”

“Anita,” Tim sniffles, “Anita.”

Cassie nods against his shoulder, The baby coos into Tim’s chest.

          They fly. No other way to get to Anita besides that. The baby remains clutched in Tim’s death grip, unwilling to risk a single turbulence that could rip her away from him. The stars twinkle, and the baby gurgles at the night sky overhead. He can’t call her ‘baby’ forever, so…what should he name her? His mind flashes to one night, where he and Kon had been on the roof of the Tower. 

“I like that one,” Kon said, pointing overhead, “The Keel. It makes up the stern of the Argo Navis.”

He squints against the wind to remember the name of The Keel. His baby whines. 

“Shhh, Carina,” he mumbles, “It’s okay, Carina.”

Carina- Carina Jeanette, he decides- quiets down. 

“That’s a beautiful name,” Cassie says, “She’s beautiful.”

“I love her,” Tim breathes, “Cassie, I love her.”

Cassie knocks her forehead against his. 

“I do too,” she tells him.

They set down in Anita’s front yard, which is littered with toddler sized bikes and kickballs of all kinds. Carina fusses softly, quieting down when Tim bounces her. He’s held plenty of babies and little kids, especially because of the No Man's Land event. But they weren’t his baby. Carina is. He feels like he’s going to break her with the wrong move. She’s like tissue paper. Kids squeal and chatter inside, the patter of little feet against floorboards before heavier footsteps send them scattering. Anita creaks open the door.

“What is that,” she asks, gesturing to Tim’s bundle of Carina.

“I made a baby,” he murmurs, “In a tube. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know where to go.”

Anita leans heavily against the doorframe and sighs.

“C’mon. I never got around to getting rid of Oshi’s baby clothes.”

Their shoulders sag in relief as Anita lets them both inside.

        Anita didn’t get rid of many things. 

“It takes forever to go through the things and then I always get sentimental about what outfits they wore and how it wasn’t that long ago and, yup, I still have baby bottles. I don’t have formula though, damn,” Anita mutters to mostly herself, “Mon, how did you get yourself into this?”

“I,” Tim sniffles, smoothing his hand over Carina’s round, pudgy belly now clothed in a soft yellow onesie, “I just. I missed him. So much. I wasn’t thinking.”

Cassie is nearly strangling him in a hug. 

“I missed him too, jackass,” she grits out in the way she does when she doesn’t want to cry, “You should’ve come to me. Damn you, you idiot.”

Tim nudges against her, cradling Carina between them. Carina’s sleeping, and he has to get some kind of formula for her before she wakes up. He just…doesn’t want to let go of her. Tim can’t make himself put his baby down. Cassie traces a finger against Carina’s soft cherub cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Tim whispers.

“Me too,” Cassie mumbles.

Anita’s lean, strong arms wrap around the both of them. She smells like peppers and flowers. Tim nestles into their arms, Carina clutched in between all of them. 

“Can we call Greta and Cissie,” he asks, “I want them.”

Cassie whips out her phone and Anita grabs Tim’s credit card, the one he secretly set up an account for months ago under a fake name that any ex member of Young Justice can pull from. He meant it for someone else to use should they need stuff for kids (Anita), school tuition (Greta and Cassie), or to get away (Cissie). Tim never thought he’d be using it for himself. Well, here he is now.

      Tim clutches the phone in a white knuckled grip.

“I’m taking some time off from Robin,” he states plainly, “And…and I want to transfer to an online school. Or test out.”

“What brought this decision on,” Bruce grunts.

“I need time to…to process. I haven’t done that because it’s been one thing after another, and if I keep going like this, I’m going to fall apart. I need to be away from the city for a bit.”

It’d been Anita’s plan to group raise the kids. He can help out with Oshi and Don and she’ll help with Carina, and Cassie will be here too even though she doesn’t like kids. It means more than the world to Tim. Cissie and Greta would be arriving soon.

“How long,” Bruce rumbles.
“I don’t know, B,” Tim replies, “But I’m going to keep tabs on you still. If you do anything stupid, I’m calling Huntress to turn you into a pincushion of sedatives.”

Bruce grunts wordlessly, then ends the call. Tim sags against the couch, the tension draining from his body as he tosses the phone on to another cushion. Carina whines in the bassinet by him. 

“I got you, hold on,” Tim chuckles, darting to the kitchen to grab the bottle on the counter before returning to scoop Carina up. 

Anita had spent hours redirecting his posture so he could properly feed Carina without causing her to swallow too much at one. Carina’s got a pretty ravenous appetite, gulping down her bottle at a speed that Bart would be impressed with. God, he wishes Bart were here. He wishes Kon were here. Though, Carina wouldn’t be here if he was. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to Carina, pressing his forehead against hers, “You can’t meet one of the most amazing people that ever lived. But you’ll love him anyway. I’ll tell you all about him.”

“She’s tiny,” Cissie laughs as she cradles Carina, “God, she’s so small.”

“Oh, her eyes are so blue,” Greta coos, “She’s already so, so beautiful.”

Tim leans against Cassie, bouncing Don on his knee. Toddlers are heavier than he thought, but he can manage it for a while. Carina gurgles, gumming on her fist. Don slips off of Tim’s knee and Oshi clambers on. Tim keeps bouncing his knee, making sure to keep a light hold on the toddler so she doesn’t fall off before she wants to go. Bruce let him go online for school, and it’s…really relaxing. He gets to lay on the couch with Carina tucked against him, doing homework at his own pace so long as he gets it in on time. He helps out with the chores, washing dishes and helping out with meals. Who knew toddlers ate so much mac n cheese? Like, wow. An absolutely astounding amount of mac n cheese. And Uncrustables. 

“They hate veggies, they barely tolerate fruit, and if I don’t feed them, they start to whine and scream and constantly say ‘Nita, Nita, Nita’,” Anita tells him exhaustedly, “Listen, mon, pick your battles. And don’t pick the no mac n cheese battle. It’s not worth it. It’s not.”

Tim nods solemnly, content with just preparing Carina’s baby bottles and burping her and wiping down his shirt really quick when spit up eventually gets all over his shoulder. Maybe he can get Carina into veggie mash when she can start to eat other foods? It can’t be that hard to get a baby to eat mash…right?

       Cass comes for him eventually. She slinks inside while they’re all asleep and sits, watching him. He wakes up, and leans over the bassinet beside the couch where he sleeps. She’s not there. Terror seizes his guts before he registers the shadow sitting beside the couch at his feet, clutching Carina. Cass seems mesmerized by Carina’s tiny fists and big eyes. 

“Her name is Carina,” Tim whispers, “Carina Jeanette Drake.”

“Oh,” Cass rumbles, “Ca. Ri. Na. Car. Ina. Caaaah. Reee. Nuhh. Carina.”

Carina babbles incoherently and Cass whips her head up. She looks…terrified. 

“Tim,” she breathes, “Carina. I. She’s…tiny.”

“You’d never hurt her,” Tim reassures her, “You love her, right?”

Cass touches scarred hands against smooth skin.

“Yes.”

Tim slips off of the couch and rests against Cass. 

“I do too. With all my heart. Don’t tell B? Or Dick?”

Cass nods, clutching Carina close. She can’t hold a baby right at all. Tim curls close to her, a hand resting against Carina’s curly hair.

      When Tim finally takes a quick trip back to Gotham at B’s behest, he ends up bleeding after falling off a dinosaur. Turns out he’s not the only one who’s been blessed with his own bundle of joy, though he’d hardly call Damian a blessing or a joy. When his back meets the cold floor of the Cave, all he can think about is how he didn’t get to hear Carina say her first coherent word yet or see her take her first unassisted steps and terror claws at his inside like a honey badger’s been released in his guts. He fights to stay awake, blinking and breathing, unwilling to abandon his daughter. He pulls through alright, and then immediately fucks off out of Gotham. He hears news from Dick about Stephanie not actually being dead but he doesn’t really give a fuck. Well, he gives half of a fuck but not much more than that. He’s not sure he wants Stephanie, who, unintentionally or not, started a whole ass gang war that led to him getting caught up in a school shooting where one of his friends bled out in his arms, her dead lips stiff under his as he tried to breathe life into Darla- and. No. He’s not having her around his kid. He’ll send her a congratulations card and a voucher for Bat Burger but Tim isn’t letting her near his baby. Even Dick hasn’t met Carina yet and-

Bruce is dead.

      Bruce is not dead. Tim hears about the dead body and he comes to wander the halls and he sees the painting. The man stands too much like Bruce- his back never quite right after being snapped like a pretzel stick by Bane- and nobody during that time period would’ve healed from something like that. 

“You think he’s alive,” Cassie asks dubiously, dangling Don upside down by the ankles as he screeches in joy. 

“I sound nuts, I know,” Tim sighs, bouncing Carina up and down while she gums on her fist, “But, being lost in time isn’t half as weird as coming back to life.”

Cassie sighs, letting go of one of Don’s ankles to massage her forehead. 

“Shit. Well, you need a babysitter?”

Tim kisses Carina’s curls and hums.

“Yep. Long term. I pay well.”
Cassie throws her head back dramatically. 

“College isn’t gonna fund itself, I guess.”

     Tim sits at a cafe in Milan, exhuasted from his night of work, and thinks about retiring at the ripe age of 17. He tested out of high school after a cozy time in online school. He could go to college next. Pick something he likes, chase after that with Carina attached to his front and clutching on to his friends’ hands to drag them along. He could tuck away the kevlar and nomex, collapse his bo staff for good. Put the mask and cowl into a box and let it gather dust in a forgotten corner buried under Carina’s clothes and toys. He could be a regular teenage parent…er, semi-regular teenage parent. Group raise his baby and never have to worry about taking off into the night for a fight and never coming back home except in an urn. He thinks about Jack, always turning to head towards the door to head out, leaving Tim behind. He thinks about his mom, her last parting kiss on the hand that lingers against him in the morning sometimes when Carina does something a little too much like him- like his mom. Tim’s lucky. He thinks about Dana checking into the hospital and never checking out. He gets to remember them both, had them long enough that he could recall Jack’s and Dana’s and his mom’s face with perfect clarity in his mind. Carina’s too little to have that. Tim takes a sip of his drink and imagines visiting Milan again, Carina and his friends in tow, without the weight of the world dragging them down. He wishes he could imagine Kon and Bart there.

    The second thing Tim wonders after ‘Oh shit, did I get dipped’ when he comes to and learns he lost his spleen is ‘Fuck, I’m gonna always be sick when Carina gets old enough to go off to school, huh? Schools are petri dishes for little kid germs’. Tim’s used to the exhaustion. Even calm babies like Carina keep you up at any given hour, wanting food or a diaper change or to just cuddle. Carina loves a good cuddle. 

“Are you okay,” Tam asks while Tim suddenly starts to mope over how much he misses his baby.

“Fine,” Tim sighs, “Let’s get this over with. Ra’s is a bore.”

Tam makes an incredulous squawking noise as Tim hobbles out the door, clutching his still-healing abdomen. God, it fucking sucks. He wants to see Cassie, Cissie, Greta, Anita, and Carina so badly. Tim sits in Ra’s blathering meeting and contemplates why he knows so many ‘C’ people. What a strange phenomenon that is.

       Kon’s heart leaps into his throat when he sees Cassie toting around a small baby the way one would a particularly large sandwich wrap.

“She’s not mine, Gods forbid,” Cassie blurts as soon as her eyes land on him.

Despite everything that he could say, Kon just snorts. “Yeah, I know how serious you are about tying your tubes.”

“I’m getting it done if I have to do it myself,” Cassie vows, “But, uh…okay, so. You should probably sit down because the news about whose baby this is might knock you on your ass otherwise. Just…let me tell you that we were both actually in a really bad place and Carina is a fucking blessing so don’t get mad at her, get mad at someone else, just not her-”

“Cassie,” Kon interrupts, “Whose baby is that?”

He can already tell by the warm tone of her skin, the loose curls tumbling over her tiny head, the blue of her eyes-

“She’s…kinda your baby,” Cassie admits.

Yep. There it is. 

“And also Tim’s baby. Uh…congrats! It’s a girl.”

Huh?

Bart breezes in, holding a gelato in his hand.
“What’d I miss?”

His eyes land on the baby (Carina, and, God, Kon kinda loves that name and he kinda loves her big eyes and her little chin and nose and-) and the gelato lands on the floor.

       For a minute, Kon’s incandescent with rage. A tube baby. Kon was a tube baby and Tim’s nowhere to be seen and just like Kon, Carina didn’t have permission to be made and then she ended up ditched. How dare Tim do that, to Kon, to Carina? Then Cassie’s phone rings and Anita swoops Carina into her arms while Cissie gets baby food for the little girl and Greta corrals Oshi and Don into snacking on peanut butter crackers, Carina bouncing and grinning full of drool in a bird-patterened red onesie. 

“Let me hear her,” Tim’s voice rings out from the speaker.

Kon stills, all that fury frozen in the same way a bird freezes in mid air when it’s shot out of the sky.

“Hi Carina,” Tim’s voice softly coos, “Sorry, I’ve been away for so long. I’m gonna be home soon, so be nice for Cassie and when we come back, we can go see the ducks. You love ducks, right, Carina? I love you, so, so much, okay? I’ll be home as fast as I can.”

Carina whines, her pudgy arms waving at Kon and Cissie smirks, then dumps her right in his arms. All that rage melts away with the click of the phone call ending and Carina wriggling in his arms. Arm. He can hold her with one arm. No, one hand. Just a hand. Bart scoops her up and Kon’s out the door, bolting off. He’s already listening out for a heartbeat, and dragging out something of Tim’s for Krypto to scent and chase.

“I made a baby,” Tim admits while water drips slowly down from the ceiling, “She’s your’s.”

The echo of a droplet resounds around the concrete bunker, against dashed metal bits. 

“Why,” Kon asks.
“I wanted you back,” Tim says, “More than anything. I didn’t even know what I was doing, and next thing I knew, I’d gotten my DNA mixing it up with your’s and then. Well, there she was. I thought about…terminating her. I couldn’t put her in a foster home or out for adoption. I didn’t know what would happen if I told B or Dick or anyone. Then, she started crying and I held her for the first time wrapped in your t-shirt. I loved her as soon as I looked in her eyes. She looked so much like you, I couldn’t help it. But I’m sorry I did that anyway. I shouldn’t have done that to you. I’m sorry.”

The water echoes again, drip-dripping from the ceiling and clashing agianst the pipes and debris. 

“She can fit in my hand,” Kon tells him quietly, drumming his fingers against the cement they’re sitting on, “She’s so small. I never thought babies could be so small.”

Tim shakes his head, smiling for the first time in forever. He’s so damn tired. It’d be nice if this were the real Kon he were talking to. Real Kon would be pissed, and rightfully so. Real Kon should break his arm again, it’s the least Tim deserves. Only, Real Kon would hate that and that’d make Tim even more deserving of having his arm snapped. 

“Bruce is alive,” Tim mutters, “He is. And when I find him, I’m gonna bring him back. And once he’s back…I’m quitting. I’m going to live for Carina. She deserves to have a parent who won’t leave her for anything.”
Kon rests his head against his palm, giving Tim a long, measured look. His eyes are such a dark blue, heavy and tired in a way that makes Tim want to wash his hair for him so he could relax.

“I believe you.”

      So. Not dead. Bart and Kon aren’t dead. Which. Tim’s unbelievably glad about this development except Kon’s surely pissed at Tim and all Tim can do is just face the music head on. 

“You find him yet,” Kon asks.

“I- yeah. Soon,” Tim babbles in confusion.
“Good, cuz I’ve worked it out so we can both be stay-at-homes. I go out and do all the Super stuff while you stay home and I stay home while you do your fancy Neon Knights stuff and boom. Carina always has a parent at home,” Kon announces, and Tim feels like he just got his face punched in.

“Huh,” he wheezes.

“Clark doesn’t know, right,” Kon asks eagerly, “Because I really wanna be the one to crack that one on him. I hope he faints. Wait, the old bat doesn’t know, right? I need to be there when you break the news to him.”

“Aren’t you pissed,” Tim interjects in utter confusion, “I made a whole ass person without your consent while you were dead.”

Kon starts to ramble. “Okay, so I had a moment to be mad and then I actually got to hold Carina and she was just…perfect. And I saw you the other day, when I was gonna come down and talk to you myself. You were with Carina in your apartment and you were, like, carrying her around and talking to her while you were doing some kinda work shit. Look, I really don’t wanna examine what this says about me, but the whole domestic thing really did it for me. Like, woof, dude.”

Tim feels like he’s being repeatedly kicked in the face. 

“Wha-huh,” Tim chokes out stupidly, his brain imploding in several different ways. 

Kon leans down, clasping Tim by the shoulders and looks him dead in the eye. 

“Find the Bat and we are gonna live out the most domestic daydream life ever to fucking exist.”

“Sounds good to me,” Tim squeaks out. 

Kon kisses him right on the cheek and takes off. Tim turns around and trips over his own two feet, landing flat on his face.

     They get to break the news to Clark first while B’s recovering from his jaunt through time.

“It’s a girl,” Kon crows, plopping Tim right down to stand on his feet while Carina cuddles against Tim’s chest in her baby sash that Kon has dubbed ‘the kangaroo pouch’. 

The Man of Steel gets one look at Carina, then darts his eyes between Tim and Kon, and passes out right on the floor. Lois takes a picture for posterity as she cackles madly, kisses her poor husband awake, and then demands to hold the baby. She tries to spell Carina’s name wrong in several different ways while trying to save the pictures to a file and gives up after spelling Carina with a ‘u’. When Clark wakes up, he grins slyly.
“Hope you told Ma before me.”

Kon’s face goes ashen and tackles the phone out of Clark’s hand. Carina giggles brightly and the straps on the kangaroo pouch lift slightly and began to wiggle with Carina’s pudgy belly. 

“Oh shit,” Tim breathes, “She’s got TTK.”

        Tim squeezes Kon’s hand as they meander their way up to the Manor’s front door. Carina snoozes in her pouch against Kon’s chest, her blanket tugging up around her in the way she prefers it. Carina mostly uses her little TTK to keep herself cozy. Cass is the one at the door, sporting a shit eating grin. She may not have been the first to introduce Carina to ice cream (an insurmountable loss to one Bartholomew Allen, in Cass’ books) but she does get front row seats to the utter circus that’s about to go down. She tickles Carina’s back slightly before slipping off to find the most optimal viewing perch. 

“Ah, our last guest-,” Alfred begins, then cuts himself off with wide eyes that fall right on Carina.

“She’s sleeping,” Kon points out with a smirk, “Let’s not be too loud, now.”

Tim bites down the cackle that threatens to crawl out from his chest. For tonight, he’s letting Kon rampage and say whatever shit he so pleases. Tim personally wants to see if Bruce can go puce in color rather than the more ordinary brick red. 

“Ti-,” Dick calls, then chokes on his own words, “Baby…that’s-”

“She’s mine,” Tim confirms, “I had her, oh, what, 11 months ago?”

Kon doesn’t bother to hide his wide grin as Dick shudders to a stop and stares at his fingers like he’s trying to do math on them. Tim can see the cut of Cass grin against the shadows as Bruce descends upon them.

“What is-,” Bruce begins, then falls dead quiet as he gazes at Carina.

“I know she’s small now, but you should’ve seen her when I first had her,” Tim gushes, “I hope she gets taller than me.”

Dick sounds like he just ran two marathons back to back with the way he’s wheezing, hunched over in the corner. Kon doesn’t tell Tim but Dick is mumbling under his breath, “How did the baby have a baby? That doesn’t make sense, Tim’s barely 14, he can’t have a baby, he is the baby.”

It’s greatly entertaining to Kon, and Cass apparently. He waves at her, and she waves back. Nobody’s noticed how she’s munching on an entire basket of bread rolls and who is Kon to spoil her fun? “We should have another,” Kon suggests, mainly for shits and giggles and because it makes the old Bat go fucking magento from the shirt collar up to his hairline, “This time I can be there when she’s born, it kinda sucks I missed out on that.”

“I mean, I do like the name Phoebe Danica,” Tim agrees teasingly, with a brilliantly shit eating gleam in his eye while the Bat starts to go royal purple in the face (Kon fucking loves this absolute nutcase).

“You are children,” Dick finally coughs as he staggers to his feet. 

“Nuh uh,” Tim retorts petulantly, “This is a child.”

He gestures to Carina, still snoozing away despite the chaos. 

“I want rolls,” Tim decides and breezes past the shambles of his family, “Do you want rolls, Kon?”

“Hell yeah,” Kon says, and joins Tim and Cass in demolishing the bread at the dinner table. 

Oddly enough, they’re the only ones with an appetite. The Demon Kid takes one look at the baby strapped to Kon, notes Kon’s presence and Tim’s existence with disdain, and turns right around to walk away. Oh well. More bread for the three of them.

“So why Carina,” Kon asks as they lounge on the roof of the Kent Farmhouse.

 Ma’s absolutely delighted to hold a baby again, and fell asleep in the rocking chair with Carina. Tim and Kon took the chance to climb on to the roof and watch the stars. Tomorrow, they’ll go back to the house at the edges of Bristol that Tim bought, far from the mansions and town houses and the clutter of the island and the mainland of Bristol, where Bart will be scribbling some insane equation on the backs of soda cans, Cissie will be prepping to jet off for her next shoot, Cassie’s gonna blow in, grab some food, punch a monster, and then head off to her archaeology class, Anita will be singing while she applies to random college classes and see what she wants to do, and Greta will be sitting with the flowers in the backyard, burying bug corpses under the soil. They’ll trip over Carina’s toys scattered around and fall right into home.
“You said it’s your favourite constellation,” Tim says.

Kon wraps his arm around Tim’s shoulder and leans his weight against Tim. 

“It is.”

Chapter Text

I am of the opinion that tims wing suit was super cunty, especially in the art style of we are robins 7, i could do without the grey bits tho

So. Wings. Its like a glider that can fold against his back, with enough flexibility to the frame that they arent too stiff, and made if a light, supportuve material. The wings themselves are mostly black, with red+lil bit of yellow on them. In coloration, think of the red winged black bird. Tho when it comes to how the wings themselves are shaped, think more in the build of the chimney swift. Chimney swifts spend most of their time in flight, and tim doesnt so much fly as he does glide so i think the chimney swifts wing build would work best for gliding along. 

When i say thigh high boots, i dint just mean over the knee, i mean very much thigh high. Regular black, thick soles and a steel toe, very sturdy boots, and the boots go right over the black pants of the suit. I saw this one fanart of tim with like,,a thigh holster that attached to a belt and it looked SO good so i think he has a little black utility belt with a red thigh holster attached to the belt with a black strap that blends with the pants part of the costume and stays in place with a black strap on his thigh

Black gloves but the top part of his costume is kinda red and black mixed, like black going up the sides. U know how some blouses have like,,,black parts on the sides to make that "illusion" of having a different shape (i dont really like those blouses tbh). The top part of the costume is like that, except his gloves are black rather than grey. Cohesion. 

Fineee ill let him keep the gold straps around the chest that attach the pack his glider wings fold up into. Tho not the gold arm things he has. Idk what those were for. 

So. His mask situation. Hes wearing a lower half face mask that looks like a short bird beak with a respirator built into it. Like a cool plague doctor beak mask mixed with a respirator. It attaches around the upper part of the back of his head, the lower part of the back of his head. This piece is black, with bits of gold and red in places. He has a dark red domino too, so hes wearing like two different kinds of masks. Also, now hes safe from the shit tier gotham air, at least while hes doing vigilantism. 

Actually, he keeps little vials of paralytics in the gold straps that attach his glider pack to him, in padded tubes that are secured in place. Theyre not very large vials but they work. 

Hes got padding around his nose and face under the lower face mask so the mask doesnt dig into his skin 

He keeps his hair tued up outta the way bc its too long for him to leave down on patrol so it goes right into as much of a braid as he can manage. 

Id have given him a full face mask but id be so scared of the glass breaking and fucking getting in my eyes and tim gets thrown around way more than i do so his fears would be warranted

Gsgshdhs im so bad at descriptions i camt do justice to katachresis' ideas lmao

Chapter Text

Jason hears that ex-Robin 3.0 has moved into the old Monarch Theater and promptly gets pissed. He can’t believe he’s being surveillanced by a kid who’s not even old enough to vote in local elections. Besides, the Monarch Theater is on the edge of the Alley, which still counts as being part of the Alley, so that means this is a direct impediment on Jason’s territory. He watches in the night for the bright red of Red Robin’s suit but never sees even a sliver of it. After two weeks of waiting, Jason gets impatient and starts to wait to get the jump on the kid in his civvies. Doesn’t take long. The kid goes wandering out one morning and Jason takes the opportunity he’s been given. Of course, he wasn’t expecting the fucking baby. 

“What’s that,” Jason blurts out. 

A pudgy cheek rests against Tim’s shirt, fists scrunching the fabric where they curl into it. A little blue cap is nestled over a head of short black curls, and though the baby’s eyes are shut, Jason suspects that they’re some shade of blue. Tim’s carrying the baby around in some kinda sling made of fabric that wraps all around his torso, and he’s clinging to the baby tightly like Jason’s about to rip it away from him. 

“A baby,” Tim spits defensively, keeping his gaze pinned right on Jason’s every move.

“Whose,” Jason asks.

“She’s mine, if you must know,” Tim snaps.

Jason eyes the baby dubiously.

“Aren’t you 15,” he asks.

“I’m 17,” Tim huffs, “Haven’t you ever heard of teen parents?”

Jason rolls his eyes.
“Fine, whatever. Which poor girl did you knock up?”

Tim snorts. “None. There was no girl involved in her creation, I can promise you that.”

Tim shoves Jason out of the way and keeps on walking. Jason follows, now very invested in what’s going on here. 

“How does that even work,” Jason asks, walking just a few steps ahead of Tim which is to be expected since the kid’s legs are so damn short. 

“Through a process called mind-your,” Tim replies.

“Mind-your,” Jason echoes.

“Mind your own business,” Tim snaps, “Go away, bother someone else. Someone who doesn’t need to get to the store for wipes.”

The baby stirs briefly, if only to shift her head’s position so she can rest on the other side of her face.

“Actually, I have business to discuss with you, little red bird,” Jason says, “You’re infringing on my territory. No birds are welcome to fly around the Alley.”

Tim rolls his eyes and turns into the corner store, Jason close behind. 

“I’m retired, if you must know,” Tim retorts, “I’ve already registered my status with Oracle. I won’t be heading back into the field unless I’m forcefully dragged back out, and it’ll take a Universe-shattering event to bring me back.”

Jason’s jaw damn near drops like a Looney Toons character.

“You? Retired? You ?”

Tim sweeps two packs of wipes into his shopping basket that he’d grabbed at the entrance of the store and fixes the slightly askew cap on his kid’s head. 

“I have a baby now,” Tim replies, “I can’t be running off to get shot at in the dead of night. Besides, we’ll probably want another one eventually.”

Ohohoho, sounds like the other parent is in the picture. Jason has got to know who it is. If it’s some kinda scandal,  Jason wants to be in the front row seats for that train wreck. 

“We,” Jason inquires, still stuck to Tim as he pays for the baby wipes and a dark chocolate Rocky Road candy bar. 

“Her other dad,” Tim smirks, “Who, might I add, really would not react well to seeing you near her. I think he’d wreck your shit, and if he does, well, I’m not stopping my partner.”

It’s a somewhat subtle ‘fuck off aimed at Jason. Jason, though, feels pretty damn confident in his ability to handle Tim’s boytoy-baby daddy, whoever the schmuck may be. Jason’s been League-trained, after all. He can handle his own ass. Needless to say, Jason continues to pester Tim since it’s immensely entertaining. Well, it’s entertaining until Tim’s brat wakes up, takes one long, wide-eyed look at Jason, and starts to scream her head off. 

“Yeugh, can’t you turn her off,” Jason winces at the high pitched wails.

Tim aims a dark look at him before he starts to bounce the kid in the little pouch she’s in, talking softly to her.

“I know, I know, Jason’s all mean and ugly-looking, huh? Don’t worry, Carina, we’re gonna go home and see Dad right now. And then we’ll call Anita and we can see her and Cissie and Cassie and Greta.”

Carina beats her tiny fists against Tim’s collarbone, though she quiets down a little. Just enough for Jason’s ears to stop ringing. There’s a large wet patch on Tim’s shirt. Not an awful name that Tim picked, though it could’ve been the baby daddy in question who picked it.

Tim’s apartment looms in view and the baby finally settles into just sniffling and giving Jason a very angry baby-glare. Out of the front door comes a grinning Superboy in civvies and just as the puzzle clicks in that ‘oh, he’s totally the other parent’, the Super’s face falls into something much darker. Jason doesn’t even get to think ‘oh fuck shit’ before he feels like he’s being full-bodied strangled where he stands. Tim grins widely, and his kid sports a devious little look as they watch Jason suffer. Evil assholes, the whole bunch of them. 

“What the fuck is he doing near you and Carina,” Superboy snaps, his lip curling up in disgust.

“Being a pest,” Tim sighs, then smiles brightly, “Carina, look who came to see us! It’s Dad!”

Superboy goes mushy right then and there as he disentangles the baby from the pouch and begins to kiss her all over. Jason gets compressed on the sidewalk while Tim’s little brat squeals and giggles like she wasn’t just screeching her head off 10 minutes ago. Jason wheezes, totally ignored by the happy ass little family.

“Let’s go back in,” Tim says, “I got you one of those candy bars you like.”

Jason wishes he could gag as Superboy plants a kiss right on Tim’s neck and waltzes off with Carina. The hold squeezing Jason finally releases him as the door shuts. Tim stares placidly at Jason’s wheezing form.
“We’ll be moving out soon, so don’t worry. But, seriously, don’t ever come near me, my daughter, or my lover again. I’ll do far worse than give you a little squeeze.”

Tim turns on his heel, grocery bag swinging at his side. Jason takes a few more minutes before staggering to his feet. He takes the night off patrol and gives Tim’s neighborhood a wide berth.

Chapter Text

When Tim is 13, he meets the man who killed his mother. Don Truvsky’s family abandoned him when he staggered home, half out of his mind and bleeding from every orifice on his face. The bleeding stopped eventually, but Don never came back to his right mind. He’d been rotting from the inside out, slowly, over the course of the past year. Any day now, he would die, just like all his little Hunter friends that Tim’s mom killed. Tim picks out simple jewelry, just simple pearls studs and brushes his hair till it sits in a way similar to his mother’s hair would have had it been straight instead of curly. He’ll only look more like her as he gets older, he knows. It’s a blessing, for him, as it’ll be a curse for Donald. He shrugs on a coat and walks to his nearest bus stop. Bruce and Alfred won’t notice so long as Tim comes back to the Manor in time for training, and his dad’s gone on another trip. Haiti this time, he thinks. It’s almost like having another Siren parent for all the attention Jack pays him and Tim, as wild a siren as any that lives in the sea, prefers it that way. The thought of being coddled makes him recoil. If he hadn’t been born a land-living Siren, he’d already have been independent upon hatching. That doesn’t mean he isn’t enraged. For all that they abided by their siren nature, Janet had loved Tim and Tim…Tim wants his mom back. He wants her back so bad. But dying a free siren is better than being captured. Dying, guzzling blood on sand and rocks, is a better fate than what Siren Hunters want to do to them. Tim brushes his pearl underneath his coat. He isn’t any safer. The streets rumble past him til the looming gray building of the hospital towers over the bus. He gets off and walks right in. He smiles timidly at the receptionist.

“Um, I’m here to see my uncle,” Tim chirps, “Truvsky? Don Truvsky?”

Her eyelids droop slightly as he forces a tiny bit of Siren Song past the pearl’s magic, impressing upon her his want-need-please in his voice. 

She rattles off the room number and Tim slips through the hallways. He’s in no hurry. Every step echoes softly, purposefully, along the fluorescent-lit floors. The room is empty, save for the withering man on the hospital bed. Don Truvsky’s breath rattles in his thin chest, his flesh clinging to his bones that jut out sharply. His skin is paper thin, drawn tight over his skeleton, and his glazed over eyes stare up emptily at the ceiling. His head shudders as he weakly twists it. 

“You,” he wheezes, “ Her .”

Tim sits lightly in the seat beside the bed, the vinyl crinkling underneath him. 

“I’m not her,” Tim replies airily, “But the woman you killed? She was my mother.”

“Not,” the man pants, “A…woman. Monster.”

“A monster,” Tim echoes with a little laugh, “She was the monster? For what?”

“Ki-killed them all,” Don Truvsky chokes out, “I- she killed me.”

Tim laughs again, louder. It’s as empty as this pathetic creature before him. This disgusting husk, who had doomed several sirens before Janet, never successfully hunting a single Siren but forcing their hand to condemn themselves to death anyway. Better to bite your own tongue off and drown in your blood then never get to be in control of your body ever, used by a Hunter as a puppet, as a doll, as…

“Because you wanted to Hunt her,” Tim sneers, “Why are we the monsters when it’s you who hunt us Sirens to chase your own pleasure and greed? We just want to live, like we had before you humans discovered how to sail. We did not ask for you humans to hunt us. Why are we the monsters when you and your friends are the ones who decided we were less than people?”

Tim stands and leans over Don Truvsky. And even as he withers alone, unloved and cursed, he still holds that rotten greed in him. That covetous, ravenous hunger that drives people to pillage and destroy still drives Don Truvsky as he weakly reaches a hand up to try and grab at Tim’s hair or chest, wanting to pull or grope. Tim seizes the man’s wrist in his hand, resolving to never wear these gloves again. He wore the itchy gloves Jack got him two years ago for this express purpose. 

“Look at you,” Tim scoffs, squeezing that weak wrist, “Have you no shame? Don’t you have any sort of soul in you? I can’t even hate you, you’re such a sorry thing. You’re just repulsive and absolutely nothing. When you die, nobody will be sad. Nobody will remember you, or think well of you. You will be forgotten within the hour.”

Tim pulls away, dropping that frail wrist. He smiles, a cruel, jagged slash against his face. 

“Should I sing for you,” he mocks.

Don Truvsky nods, pleadingly. Tim laughs, his head thrown back. 

“Since you want it so bad, I will,” Tim acquiesces.

He sings, and it drips with every bit of apathy and disgust he feels in his core. Don Truvsky writhes on his bed, gasping and full of terror as he realizes that the Monkey’s Paw has curled on him. He bucks like a mad horse, slamming his head against the bars of the bed and cracks his own wrist as he lays on it accidentally and jolts. With his other weak hand, he claws at his own hair, dragging his fingers down his skin till it rips like tissue, blood sluggishly pooling on the pillow. Tim stops suddenly as Don Truvsky’s heartbeat finally skyrockets, and then comes to a standstill. Sirens blare overhead, and as a team of nurses rush in, Tim slips back out. He walks out of the hospital, gets on his bus, and goes back. He takes off his jewelry except his necklace and peels off his coat. His gloves go shoved somewhere he knows he’ll forget. He crawls into the bathtub and fills it all the way up before he climbs inside. He curls up under the water and clutches the pearl necklace in his hands. He tries to imagine that the cool porcelain of the tub is his mother’s scales as she holds him under the water. Tim does not scream, and he does not cry. He just sits under the water and wonders why humans can be so cruel. 

Chapter Text

No capes, but like,,,magic is still a thing to keep in with the ccs universe (clamp my beloved)

Single mom Janet who lives in a nice house (rather than a manor) with just her and tim.

I cant decide if jack died when tim was little or if he just took off and left janet and tim. Either way, bye lmao. 

She runs the business and also teaches an archaeology course up at the university so shes not home often but shes still in gotham with tim so hes pretty content

Hmm,,,,im thinking baby tim,,,13 yr old tim. He leetle. He is only child. He goes to public school instead of boarding school. 

Oh my god dex as keroberos,,,,yeah. 

WAIT. LISTEN TO ME. TEEKL. Teekl replaces the human form of yuki bc,,,moon cat. Yeahg,,,,sun + moon cats,,,,im sticking with this. 

Janet brings home the book of cards from the university, and tim starts having strange dreams about floating cats and flying and fighting huge monsters. Nothing too weird for a dream so he doesnt pay much mind

When he stumbles into janets study because hes looking for a permission slip she signed for a field trip to the planetarium in Metropolis and is drawn to the book of cards

Picks it up, takes the Windy card and accidentally scatters the cards. Oopsie. 

Honest to god couldnt think of a better name for the cards than the Bird Cards bc i refuse to call them bat cards so just roll with me, okay

Dex arises from the Book of Cards, all disgruntled and fluffy. Still larger than your average kitty but this is his passing form. His true form is a giant fuck off lion the size of a moose. Do you know how fucking HUGE moose are? 0/10, would not mess w a moose, fuck off with that. 

Dex can talk<3 he is grumpy<3 

Tim: what the heck

Dex: Did you open the book

Tim: YOU CAN TALK. HELLO???

Dex: dont scream, it hurts my ears. 

Tim: ,,,,okay. Okay. Wonderful. Sorry. I need to go lie down.

Sorry tim but you cant escape your magical girl fate<3

Dex did in fact fall asleep while trying to guard the cards but is he ashemed? Nope. He was tired. Needed a nap.

The key looks like a mini version of tims rr sign that he can hang on a necklace as a charm. And when its in its long staff form, its like,,a long golden, with little black wings and red details. Very shiny and cute. 

Im trying to figure out how to bring cassie bart and kon into this and what my brain is coming up with is totally not in the ccs manga but i rather like it

Basically, cassie, bart, and kon come from families meant to protect the card captor and each kid from each generation trains to protect the card captor but only now has the card captor re-awoken. They get like,,a magical surge that they detect and send cassie, bart, and kon packing off to Gotham to find their card captor. 

The waynes are supposed descendants of the wizard who created the book of cards and while jason and dick have both aged out of wanting to be card captor and also feeling as though they cant use the magic since theyre adopted (me @ them: have some trauma xoxo), damian is raring to go at it. Brice gets a detection of magic on some kind of artifact and they start their own hunt for the cards

Meanwhile, tim has just convinced Janet to let him keep dex. She feels a little bad that shes so busy and tims responsible enough to care for a cat, so she lets him keep dex. She is surprised that her tiny teenage son found the biggest fucking cat possible to care for. Its a little funny to her tbh. 

Am i laughing bc dex is supposed to be the sun cat but hes grey and teekl is the moon cat but hes orange? Yeah. Its funny. To me. 

Cassie, Bart, and Kon rock up as new students and spiderman pointing meme at each other when they recognize each others symbols that they wear on necklaces, which symbolize the houses of guardians meant to protect their card captor. Well, thank goodness, now they only need to find their card captor!! Super easy, right? 

....

No. Because their fun sized card captor blends right into the crowd and its not like hes advertising his newly acquired magic, plus he left the Book of Cards at home bc hes terrified of losing it. So tim is slinking under the radar for now. 

I honestly dont know how to get anita, cissie, and greta in here BUT what i was thinking was anita being a witch/having spirit magic and her being new to gotham and she helps train tim to use his magic cards. Greta is a magical guardian who is guarding one lf the lost cards tim befriends and who he helps obtain a physical form so she can join him as a regular person and cissie is the random civilian who just moved here who Saw Too Much Shit and now shes tumbled head first into the magic mess and she cant escape. Bc thats funny to me. 

Tim is like a fucken beacon for these cards bc he keeps stumbling into them. Dex is honestly amazed that tim seems to be attracting them like how he is

I think after five cards, cassie bart and kon FINALLY find their card captor 

Them: omg,,,he smal,,,,

^very funny bc theyre all like 14 yrs old which isnt even that much older than tim

Eventually they catch up to tim and explain how theyre meant to be his protectors since hes the card captor

Enter: Damian, all of like,,,8 years old and ready to fight

Tim: im not fighting a baby<-he is barely 13 himself and also very much Baby

Cassie: i will. 

Kon: Do not 

Bart: no, no, let her. I wanna see what happens

Kon: NO

I think itd be kinda funny if damian had trained his whole little life (okay more like hes been "training" for two years and its just been martial arts) to be a card captor and he keeps narrowly missing cards only for tim, who only does trampolining and skateboarding for sports and has 0 theoretical or practical combat experience to keep catching all these cards. 

Teekl as the mysterious cat shaped shadow lurking in the corners everywhere tim goes that tim just barely misses seeing while dex is squinting and staring dubiously at teekl's shadow lurking shenanigans 

Dick: wait, how do you plan to catch and seal the cards if you dont have the key

Damian, utterly frustrated over his most recent late arrival to a card capture that ended just as tim pocketed the card and took off w cassie, kon, and bart in tow, not even noticing damians arrival: i'll figure something out, now mind your business >:(

Tim doesnt register the one sided rivalry damian has with him. Barely notices damians existence. Hes too busy trying to figure out how to use the fly card to do some sick skateboard tricks. 

The card captor kids (aka yj kids) shenanigans as they keep running around the city collecting cards, maybe foiling some light crimes, doing dumb slightly dangerous shit. 

Janet as she sees the large pack of teens invading her house on the daily: Actually, im fine with this

Helena Sandsmark also moved with cassie bc like hell was she gonna let her 14 yr old daughter take off to a city alone, magic guardian or not. 

Max and Helen also went with Bart. Maxs heart cant survive the thought of unleashing an unsupervised Bart on some poor, unsuspecting city. It wouldnt survive. 

Kon had actually only recently moved to metropolis that past year amd was living w clark, lois, and baby chris and baby jon and was like "welp im sure i can figure out a living situation" bc he had only been pulled put of foster care in Hawaii when he was 6 by ma and pa once clark learned about the half brother he had that he didnt know about. Kon lived w ma and pa for 7 years. Did basic training with them for his guardian duties that clark talked to them about. Moved in with clark in metropolis to further his training. Then kon was like "okay i can totally move all alone to a city" and clark said "youre absolutely incorrect" and now they have an apartment in gotham while clark takes assignments from the daily planet based mainly in gotham and visits lois and the babies on weekends. He offers kon to go w him but kon wants to stay with his friends during the weekends. 

Helena and diana are distant cousins but cassie trained under diana, as did donna and artemis but cassie is the one who ended up as a guardian. 

Instead of Don and Dawn being barrys kids, theyre his siblings. Don marries Melonie Thawne aka barts mom and dawn marries jenny's dad so theyre still cousins and then wally is barts cousin bc of iris and barry marrying. Wally and Bart see each other and immediately cain instincts are activated. Still wallys pretty proud of bart being guardian. Max is uncle bc hes uncle.  Family friend forcefully assimilated as family and now barts guardian bc don and melonie disappeared. Maybe bc of magic, maybe they just took off. Oh well, bart likes max more anyhow and no he toooootally doesnt have a complex haha why would u think that

Cassie and Tim as they watch their moms start to get closer: hm. We shall see how this goes. 

I think itd be fun of cass just randomly showed up, kicked a cards ass, tim sealed it, amd then he immedoately brought her home like "hey mom i found this weird girl, can we keep her"

Janet, looking at her overflowing with teens living room and the enormous cat sitting in her fav chair: sure

Cass? Acquired. She has no interest in the cards BUT she does think its fun to beat them up. Is she magical? Is she superhuman? Nobody knows but she does like ice cream. 

The waynes are struggling to figure out how this random kid found out how to use the key for the book of cards, how he got the magical potential to even open the book in the first place, how hes been sealing them, and why he has suddenly brought in the card captor guardians. This kid must be unrelated to the original wizard who created the book of cards???

I think cassie batt and kon have magical powers

Cassie has lightning powers <-she fly<3 she also electric,,,,

Bart has time powers (<-yes he still goes fast, time distorts around him bc of passive magical aura he puts out and causes him to move incredibly fast)

Kon has solar powers and also an unrelated telekinetic ability that hes not sure where he got it from

Their powers are meant to help protect their fairly squishy, mostly human card captor. 

In the end, damian makes a bid to convince the moon guardian teekl that he is a better choice for card captor bc of his blood ties

Tim and damian are tested, and tim wins the full rights to the cards

Further adventures as tim and his friends turn the Bird Cards into tims own Drake Cards like how sakura turned the clow cards into sakura cards

Chapter Text

          Bruce awkwardly holds his sandwich just a few centimeters away from his mouth, not eating, while Tim carries on texting with one hand and cramming pieces of baked, breaded fish and crinkle cut fries from the recyclable takeout box into his mouth with a fork he’d already had in his pocket for some reason. Tim’s not even bothering to look at Bruce, too engrossed in whatever is on his phone. Bruce assumes that it’s one of his friends, always a safe bet to assume. Bruce steels himself and lowers his sandwich.

“We’re…on Saturday. We are going to the new exhibit at the local museum.”

Tim looks up from his phone.

“Oh, like you and Damian? Cool,” he says absentmindedly, immediately returning his attention to his phone. 

Bruce grumbles. “Hrmm. No. Yes. But…you should come too.”

Tim winces, mostly to himself it seems. That’s not the response Bruce was hoping for. He’d been hoping for an enthusiastic confirmation.

“Ooooh, uh, gotta take a raincheck on that one, B,” Tim replies, “I’d love to, I really would, but Kon won these tickets to the Jennifer Chalsty Planetarium for the laser show and I’ve been dying to go.”

“You can’t go another time,” Bruce asks, feeling a bit wrong-footed in this unexpected conversation.

“No,” Tim says apologetically, “They don’t do the laser show everyday and I don’t want Kon to waste his tickets for no reason. Oh, it was actually pretty cool how he won the tickets but he can’t know that or he’s gonna get a big fat head about it. It was this mail-in trivia contest thing he ended up doing and it was all stuff actual scientists had to know and Kon got everything right-”

Tim starts to chatter away, still texting the entire time, his half-finished meal forgotten in his lap. Bruce moves it off Tim’s lap on to the bench and closes the takeout box. He takes a grumpy bite of his sandwich. Bad timing on his part, he supposes. Better luck next time.

          Bruce doesn’t try next time. It’s actually Dick, and it’s Dick who strikes out when asking Tim to join them for something. 

“So, what do you say? Movie night,” Dick asks, trying to tickle at Tim’s ribs while pinning Tim in a soft headlock, “I got those kale chips you suddenly decided you like. We’re thinking of watching Jurassic Park.”

“Nooo,” Tim answers, struggling to free himself, “Look, I love Jurassic Park buuut I’m already doing a movie night with Kon tonight. I promised him I would, and also, I will take those kale chips if you aren’t gonna eat them.”

Bruce squints at Tim. 

“Are you working on extra cases that you shouldn’t have as part of your workload,” Bruce accuses.

“No,” Tim huffs, “I really am watching a movie with Kon tonight. I’ve never been to a drive-in theater and there’s one in Smallville and they’re showing a super creepy movie that’s exclusive to Smallville because it was some really high production home movie styled thingy. Kon’s picking me up right now so we can watch it.”

“Is he gonna grab your car, too,” Dick wonders, releasing Tim from his hold and begins to mess with Tim’s long hair.

“Nope. We’re gonna use the pickup truck. The bed of it can fit so many blankets in it,” Tim responds, batting Dick’s hands away so he can try and fix his hair, “Actually, can I bring some cookies from the jar? It’d be rude to just get picked up and have nothing to share.”

Tim walks away with half the cookies in the jar, and though there’s no fights that break out during the entirety of the movie, Bruce feels somewhat uneasy. He texts Tim, and gets absolutely no response for over half an hour. Finally, Tim sends a text back. Or, rather, a text from Tim’s contact is sent back. It’s a picture of Tim buried in blankets in the back of a pickup truck, sound asleep. Judging by the stray hand that looms in the corner of the picture, Bruce is very certain as to who sent the picture.

          “Tim,” Bruce grumbles into the phone, “Where are you? Dinner is starting soon.”

“Hmm,” Tim replies sleepily, “Oh. ‘m not coming over tonight.”

“Tim,” Bruce grunts, “Come over. I know you haven’t eaten.”

“I did,” Tim retorts, though it falls flat as he yawns, “I wanted to try this a new place, you know the restaurant on the corner of 4th and Shell Drive?”

Bruce knows exactly what place Tim is talking about. Casual enough that it’s not a black-tie only sort of venue and it’s entirely fine to wear sneakers there, but it had also become dreadfully popular with couples. Bruce can’t stomach the thought of eating around any amount of couples feeding each other food in public and making ridiculous baby-talk noises at each other. 

“You went there,” Bruce sighs. 

Tim hums in response. “Mhm. Kon and I tried it. I liked the chicken and shrimp skewers. Super yummy. You should go there with Selina or something. I to- totally forgot that there was a family dinner tonight. I’ll bring you ice cream tomorrow or something. G’night.”

There’s only a certain amount of times one can hear a name before that name begins to spark a hatred inside. He’s really beginning to detest the name ‘Kon’, especially in Tim’s voice.

         It’s really a bit ridiculous. Tim is all business and entirely focused when they’re at work. Day or night work. He doesn’t drop the ball in the slightest. As soon as the masks come off, though…Bruce has not been able to just…exist with Tim in so long. Tim no longer comes into his study to lay on his belly on the soft leather couch, kicking his feet back and forth in the air slowly, doing homework before ultimately falling asleep. They do not sit next to each other at the dinner table, sneaking case file details between them despite knowing Alfred disliked work beign discussed at the dinner table.

Bruce feels like Tim isn’t even Tim anymore. He’s some caricature who only lives to reject Bruce’s offerings and talk on and on (and on and on and on and on-) about his spectacualr best friend. Tim bustles in through the doors, dragging the aforementioned best friend behind him with one hand while the other cradles something tiny against his chest. 

“Does Damian know where I can find any wildlife rehabbers,” Tim asks quickly, “We found this baby duckling alone and it looks really messed up.”

“Hand it over,” Bruce insists, opening his palms, “I’ll bring it to Damian.”

“I’m not going to argue with him, if you’re so worried,” Tim groans in some measure of exhasperation, “I just want to ask him about-”

“What do you want,” Damian scowls as he steps inside.

“Baby duckling rehabber,” Tim instantly replies, showing off his mangled but alive baby duck. 

“Come along,” Damian commands, already taking off up the stairs.

Tim goes more gently, softly cupping the duckling. Kon-El stays behind, his eyes following Tim. 

“Why does Tim not stay,” Bruce blurts out.

“Uh…pardon,” Kon-El asks, a little confused. 

“Tim never stays. He always leaves. What makes him stay,” Bruce grumbles in frustration. 

Kon–El shrugs. “I dunno. He just does when he wants to.”

Tim comes running back downstairs as gently as possible.

“Thanks,” Tim hollers up the stairs, “C’mon we gotta go.”

Tim clings to Kon-El’s arm, dragging him along while holidng the duckling gently. 

“I can drive it to the facility,” Bruce offers.

“No thanks,” Tim calls, “We have it covered. Bye!”

Bruce doesn’t understand. Why does Tim never seem to want to stay?

Chapter Text

          Cass sighs and tosses her damp towel over the chair. Her muscles are sore, and she needs to buy new toe pads. The final showing of Swan Lake was a success…but that’s what everyone had already expected. She was expected to be a flawless Odette, and she had been as perfect as everyone had told her she would be.

She’ll land whatever lead role is next for her in the fall season, as everyone knows that’s what will happen. Be it Giselle, Sleeping Beauty, Don Quixote, or Romeo and Juliet, she will dance the role everyone believes she will take, and she will do it with precision, perfection, and countless hours of training her body pushes through.

She rolls her ankles and cracks her toes; her toenails fell off long ago. It’s just…how things are. No toenails, she’ll get the next lead role, and she will keep dancing and dancing and dancing. She’s rather young for a principal dancer; dancing since her mother took brief custody of her when she was 8 years old, from her father who previously had her trained in more martial arts than words she could speak. Then her mother gave her to state authorities after a year, when she grew bored of Cass. Didn’t get adopted till she was 11, and all she had before she was taken in was the clothes on her back and the skills she’d had carved into her.

Bruce is…he makes her feel appreciated. She gets healthy food and education, clean water and more money than she even wants to think about. Cass…has everything, starting from nothing. She’s like one of those fairy tales. Cass lays back on her bed. She doesn’t really feel like anything.

       The mall is…the mall. It’s full of people. Smells. Textures. Sounds. Smells . Lots of things. She’s ordering her toe pads but she needs more workout clothes. Her others have worn out as fast as the toe pads. 

“Do you need new shoes too,” Bruce asks, gently cupping her elbow to steer her around people. 

Cass shakes her head. She’s fine on shoes. She’s got…everything she needs. Cass swallows a sigh. The music playing in the mall sounds the same as the music as the studio, though they’re very different songs. Dim, distant. The voices of Dick, Jason, and Damian mix with the chatter of her fellow dancers in her head. Same sounds. Bruce sounds like her instructors. Faraway. She could follow each footstep like a dance off the top of her head. All she would feel is the faint stretch of her muscles and the motions of her body moving into place flawlessly. Step, step, step. She’d fit the tempo. It’s…just what she does. She just dances as she lives, and that’s all Cass can find herself able to do.

A semi-familiar song cuts right into the monotonous drone of the mall’s music. It’s one she thinks she’s heard Dick play before. Her gaze is drawn to a small ring of people forming in the mall’s courtyard. In the center is a dancer. Not the kind of dancer she is, where her every move is measured, every breath is precise as the edge of a scalpel, where she cannot fall or fail. No. This dancer is… messy . 

Sweat drips right down his forehead as his back curves and he takes rhythmic strides. He grins as he slides along his belly, back onto his knees, and his hair flies with the snapping motions of his head. Every expression the dancer wears is coy, bright, wild. Alive. He looks…happy. His eyes gleam, there’s a spark there that Cass barely remembers holding herself. Or…maybe she never had it. She’s not sure. She can’t remember if she’s had as much fun as this dancer is having, blowing kisses in between each hip shake to everyone who looks at him, scandalized. 

“Where are his parents, ” Bruce gasps, looking around the crowd for anyone who looks like they could be related to the small, brazen dancer that makes something sour and sharp bubble in Cass’ stomach.

Jealousy is that sour sharpness, Cass will only later realize, something she’s not truly felt before.

“Oh my God,” Jason mutters, looking mortified, “Isn’t he the fucking neighbor kid? The one that goes to that boarding school here in Bristol? Uh…fucken…something Drake.”

“Tim,” Dick adds helpfully, though he’s covering Damian’s eyes, “He looks like he’s having fun.”

“I’m calling Tim’s father,” Bruce grumbles, who also lays a hand over Damian’s eyes, though Damian is already trying to bite both him and Dick, “He’s still a child . Honestly, what is that man doing?”

“Why not his mom,” Jason asks, very carefully not looking at Tim.

Bruce shook his head. “Died when Tim must’ve been around…13. She ran things, obviously. Jack is…hrmg. Straight to voicemail. Silk dancing is fine, Dick, but under no circumstances will anyone… dance like that.”

Dick looks at Cass behind Bruce’s back and rolls his eyes. Cass shrugs and keeps watching. Tim’s loose jeans are ripped at the hems and his shirt is more of a loose, short-sleeved fishnet crop top. His nails are chipped and his shoes are scuffed. His hair sticks with sweat to his forehead. Their eyes meet, and Tim grins brightly. A security guard comes lumbering over, and Tim swoops himself out of his side split to snag his phone from the ground, twirls around the security guard as he blows one last kiss to the uniformed man, and then takes off. Cass’ heart goes with the sound of the song. 

Cass goes looking for Tim, obviously. He looks very different in his school uniform. Proper. Neat. Like she does before a performance. It’s a costume. She watches. She waits. Tim comes climbing out of what she thinks is his dorm room from the window, in a shredded t-shirt with the back cut out and sleeves cut off, his jeans loose and patchy, sneakers scuffed and dirty. His hair’s tied back messily. There’s messy eyeliner around his eyes. 

“Teach me,” she demands as he lands on the concrete on the other side of the walls. 

“Uhhhh,” Tim hesitates, “Who are you?”
“Cass. Teach me,” Cass replies, “Show me. Dance.”

“Oh,” Tim says, “Sure. Let’s go.”

Cass wants. She wants to feel…something. More than just…what she does. She’s just a dancer. She only dances. She only moves. There is nothing in her that makes her smile like Tim does. She wants to do more than move . She wants…she wants to like it again. She wants to feel that shine. The shine that Tim has in his eyes . Tim takes her to a studio. Together, they dance.

      Cass laughs when she dances. She puts on messy, tacky eyeliner and her beaten up shoes. Her loose jeans rip at the knees. A loose t-shirt gets the bottom half cut off. Her hair gets knotted and messy. Tim laughs with her when they dance together.

She doesn’t tell Bruce. She thinks about getting an apartment just for herself. She knows Dick has one, and has had one since he was 17. Cass is climbing out of her window at night just to run. She looks at herself in the mirror and smiles. Her eyes shine.

She dances, knees scuffing on the floor and tripping on her own shoes sometimes. Tim dances with her, his hair sticking to his sweaty upper lip and once rips the entire seam of his left pant leg up to his hip. They laugh, they dance, they trip. It’s their secret, one that isn’t confined to a cold dance studio. Tim breathes harshly as he falls to the floor, worn out. Cass’ lungs burn. She feels alive.

Chapter Text

"Your bat ears are so big, but they dont help you listen to others, do they?"

"Hey, has anyone ever told you that you sound like a minecraft villager?"

"Honestly, im not really surprised Superman's more popular than you. Youre really boring."

"Your whole growly thing makes it really hard to understand you. Do you need a lozenge for that? Its grape."

"Im really glad youre not actually robins dad. Thatd suck for him."

"Hey, Impulse wants me to pass on a message. He wants you to know hes better at stopping schemes than you. I agree btw."

"Are you ever sad that Robins better than you?"

"That shade of black makes you look really sickly. Have you considered pink?" 

"Oh. Its you. Sorry i thought i'd be talking with Nightwing or someone else thats likeable." 

"Do you ever get embarrassed by the Bat schtick?"

"I dunno about you but id rather die than call myself 'Vengeance'. Super cringe."

"No wonder poor robin's so uptight. Working with you would make me wanna die more than i already do."

"Has anyone ever told you that you smell like old Lays?"

"Why am I this Cave? Uhh, because I was invited? Havent you ever been invited somewhere like a party- oh. Sorry. Sore spot for you, huh?" 

"Oh, hey Mr. Bat. I ate your muffin. It was great."

"Hey Mr. Wayne, I also ate your pot roast. It was also great." 

"Oh shit, you look ugly."

"Uhhh...to answer your question...I do not regret making out with your daughter in the clouds."

"Are you aware that tim loves me more than you?"

"I gotta confess, I was the one who broke your window two years ago. It happened when i was sneaking into tims room. Oops."

"Are you aware tim and probably cass like me better than you?"

"Have you ever thought about how weird it is of you to try and convert your kids into mini versions of yourself?"

"You dont like me do you? I can tell because you keep referring to me in dehumanizing ways."

"Can we not do the whole "I am Batman, fear me" thing? Its...kinda embarrassing. For both of us."

"I really dont know how that piss got there. Sorry about the shoes."

"Mr. Wayne, I must inform you that half the people in this room would gladly set you on fire."

"Theres a reason tim moved out. Its called 'you'." 

"We already know each other but its only polite that I re-introduce myself now that Im with Tim. I have this thing called manners, shame you never learned about them." 

"Oh is this a shovel talk? No, sit down, Im giving you the shovel talk. Ive been waiting years for this." 

Chapter Text

            Bruce has never held any of his kids as infants, not a single one. There’s a wistful, gaping wound in his guts when he looks at all his children. He’s glad to have them but he has to admit he wishes he could’ve been there for all of their lives. He wishes he could’ve held a tiny Damian in one arm, Talia in the other as they stared lovingly at their son. He wishes he could’ve let a newborn Cass rest against him as he held her in his arms. He wishes he could’ve carried a baby Jason around, keeping him close to his heart.

He feels less bad for not having had Tim and Dick when they were infants, though. To take Dick away from the home he had, rich in love and warmth is something that Bruce would never want to take from him. Bruce would hate to steal John and Mary Grayson from his eldest, because he knows what it’s like to have parents frozen in time, held perfect and wonderful and pure in his eyes. They’d never grow older, always at that age where they were covered in the golden luster of childhood. A blessing that Bruce couldn’t bear to rip away form Dick.

As for Tim…well, Tim knew his parents weren’t the best at times and loved them anyway. He knew them for their faults and their issues and refused to hate them. A strength in Tim grew from his childhood, a fierce persistance to love no matter what. It’s what makes Tim so Tim, that stubborn care and viciously genuine, full-hearted love. Those memories are all that Tim has left, so Bruce wouldn’t want to take Tim from his parents as a baby either. He feels sorry for Jack and Janet. They’ll never hold their grandchild, and Bruce gets to do so.

“Oh, sheesh, what’d you do to her,” Tim asks, wincing as Carina’s screams pitch higher.

Despite Bruce’s elation at getting to hold his first ( his first, he has one ) grandchild, Bruce’s granddaughter is pitching a truly magnificent tantrum that had started as soon as Tim laid Carina in his arms. Bruce tries to bounce Carina up and down gently, soothing her. It doesn’t work. Carina’s face is turning an admittedly magnificent shade of red as she screams, her fists balled up and smacking against Bruce’s chest. Carina’s sparkly, saturn-shaped hair bobbles clink together as her tiny, curly pigtail flop with her thrashing. 

“Alright, okay,” Tim says, scooping up his daughter.

The effect is instant; Carina inhales a shaky, sudden breath, sniffling, and quiets down. Soon, she’s gumming on her fist with the last few stray tears dripping down her tears, breaths shuddering and shaking her tiny chest. Tim hums quietly, patting her back softly. 

“Oh, you’re just grumpy,” Tim murmurs softly against his daughter’s curly hair, “Are your little gums hurting? That’s called teething, and it sucks ducks.”

Carina makes a soft gurgling, drooling against Tim’s t-shirt. 

“You look…,” Bruce grunts, “Happy.”

Tim looks more rested than Bruce has ever seen. Healthier, too. Tim hasn’t been out at all for the past month or so, and Bruce keeps expecting Tim to come out on the rooftops, his comm linked to the others and flying high above the city with the rest of them. Bruce keeps expecting Tim to break his retirement, and come back out like Bruce would do. Except, Bruce knows Tim is not him. Tim is similar to Bruce in some ways, but so incredibly different in many other ways. Bruce could not stand to not be out at night, fighting. Tim does not need it.

“Yeah,” Tim whispers, “I am. We’re looking at houses out in the outskirts here in Bristol. We’d be going pretty into the mainland, but the houses are…nice. Get regular sunlight there, not crowded together. There’s a couple miles between neighbors on all sides so it’s pretty isolated. The houses are big enough for plenty of people.”

“You’ll be…closer,” Bruce asks hesitantly.

“Honestly? We’d be further out from the Manor than we are now,” Tim admits, “But I like those houses. And Kon does too.”

Bruce is suddenly reminded of the other party involved with Carina’s existence. Kon-El is…certainly a choice. A somewhat reckless, sort of irresponsible, too inexperienced choice, in Bruce’s opinion. 

“Don’t,” Tim warns, “Kon is so much different than the kid I was always fighting with in our Young Justice days. He’s responsible and loving and he’s an amazing parent.”

Bruce wonders if Tim can read his mind now. 

“Still…,” Bruce mutters, “If the responsibility becomes too much all at once for you, just…you can come back. We would all be…helpful to you. Even Damian. Babysitting would be good for him.”

“I’d rather not have Damian near my baby, no offense to him,” Tim scoffs, “My daughter isn’t a therapy tool.”

Carina turns in Tim’s arms to belch loudly and then spit up on Bruce’s documents. Bruce sighs and slides back down in his chair, Tim taking off to grab some paper towels. His first grandchild. She’ll be a handful all right. 

Chapter Text

       Tim crosses his arms, his knees folding against his chest. His belt is empty, but his key ring is safe with Kon. Tim knows Kon will take care of all of his keys, protecting them with everything he has. Tim couldn’t trust anybody more with his beloved friends, his wonderful keys whose lack of presence makes his heart ache.

The golden bracelet, heavy and with a bat-shaped charm on it, itches Tim’s wrist. It’s got a tracker charm placed on it, and it won’t come off no matter what Tim does. He can’t leave to go back home until he gets it off. Tim isn’t willing to bring the Guild Alliance down on his friends’ heads, subjecting his home to their rules and constraints. They’ll rip the Young Just Us guild apart in minutes. Tim’s guildmark is hidden underneath his clothes, knowing damn well that Jack will want it erased should he discover its existence. The guildmaster, The Bat, steps in.

“Your father is here,” The Bat rumbles, his dark cloak swishing and curling with shadows.

Tim bares his teeth at The Bat, wishing he could bite into that damn man. Jack bustles in, and his eyes land on Tim’s braid. His hair is long, past his shoulder blades, and Anita braided it for him after Cissie brushed it and Cassie had given his ends a trim. Bart picked the wildflowers laced through the strands, and Kon had been the one to gently tuck them in, while Greta had found a charm to keep them in a perfect stasis, never wilting or falling apart. S’lobo had applied the charm for Tim. Jack does not like Tim’s hair, Tim can tell right off the bat. Too fucking bad, because Tim loves it. 

“Janet,” Jack mutters, fingers brushing against the side of Tim’s head, then he shakes his head and seems to come back to himself, “Tim. What did they do to you?”

“Nothing,” Tim replies shortly, “Can they take this off me?”

Tim shakes his wrist.

“That’s a necessary precaution,” The Bat informs him, “Your captors are still at large with the Celestial artifacts. They are dangerous individuals who have already taken you from your home before, and until they are apprehended, you are to be monitored and tracked in order to ensure your safety.”

Safety? Safety? Tim was safe, safer than he’d ever been. He’d been home , loved and secure. Tim hadn’t known a single day of loneliness since he’d left and met his friends. A lifetime of always being left behind, and all that pain had been erased in only a few days, it felt like. Tim had been surrounded by everything he’d ever wanted, and he’d been free. He’d been so utterly, completely free . 

“I left,” Tim blurted, “I left and I joined them on purpose. Let me go, please, I want to go home.”

An old man in butler-esque clothes sets down a cup of water.

“It appears that the poor boy’s mind has been tampered with,” the old man tuts, “Illegal guild wizards always resort to such nasty tactics.”

Tim picks up the glass and flings it, the glass shattering against the wall. Damn, he’d been aiming for either of the men in this room. Bart would so make fun of him for the crappy aim. 

“I wanna go home,” Tim demands, “I was happy, and you guys kidnapped me!”

“It’s okay,” Jack soothes, “You’re safe, Tim.”

He envelopes Tim in an awkward, stilted hug. With his mouth close to Tim’s ear, he whispers, “I’ll get those keys, Tim.”

A flower flutters to the ground, crushed like it’d been pinched between fingers roughly. Tim couldn’t help the fear that swelled in his heart. Tim couldn’t wait for his friends, and it’d be too dangerous for them anyway. He was held captive, and he’d have to rescue himself.

Chapter Text

Tim never realized how much he wanted other people around him. He’s been bounced around dozens of schools over the years, sometimes switching three times a school year. The most consistent people to have remained with him have been his spirits, but it’s so hard to get alone time with them during the school year and sharing a dorm with another person. He didn’t realize how much he wanted to be able to bring out his spirits around other people, freely expressing his magic, expressing himself. The ache had been a dull throb akin to an old bruise that never went away. He’d just grown used to it over the years. People always coming and going in his life, his parents included. Tim never minded because he always had his spirits. 

Except…Tim did mind, he realizes. Why did he have to be the one to get left behind so often? Why did he have to be the one to suck it up when he was moved and shuffled around? Why didn’t he get to have something, someone, just his that he didn’t have to hide? Tim’s made friends, and just as soon as they enter his life, he’s whisked off and has to start all over again. Why? Why does that have to happen to Tim? Why does Tim have to deal with the ache over and over and over again?

Tim didn’t even know that ache was there until it was gone. He wakes up to the Supercycle nudging him, smelling like hot rubber and metal and dirt. He wakes up to the sound of his guildmates surrounding him with themselves, their laughter and chatter. Bart’s snack wrappers end up in his pockets and Cissie’s hair ties end up on his wrists. Tim snags a bite of Cassie’s breakfast and nabs the map from Greta. He steals a pen from S’lobo and gets it all taken from him by Anita, who holds it over his head. Kon ends up with the pen and then Cassie ends up with the map anyway. Tim’s heart aches, the way a scabbed wound itches as it heals over.

He’d been with his guild only a few days. He knows that there’s the possibility that they will leave, that they will be forced to separate. The Young Just Us guild isn’t sanctioned, after all. But, right now, Tim has them, and they aren’t leaving. They sport matching guild marks, and they travel together, mashed into the Supercycle or hitching a ride on S’lobo’s magic bike, or flying beside either vehicle. Tim gets to touch the clouds and let the sun and wind whip against his face as they crest over the clouds. Tim travels further from his father, his city, and he has never been so been so happy in his life as his keys dangle openly against his hip on their bronze key ring attached to his belt. Ives will pop in and out whether Tim summons him or not. Tim laughs, freely for once. It’s only been a few days but Tim has never been more alive. 

Chapter Text

Tim does have to bribe cass a little to get into this but also hes like "you can show off that ur the best" and shes like "...do you think i will fall for that" and unfortunately she is endlessly tempted by pride and how she can show the others that their physical limitations are simply a Skill Issue. 

Tim had found an older video of a news station reporting from haleys circus of a routine from john and mary a few years before dick had been born and dick never got to see them perform it in person

And tims like "well he never got to see THEM do it but. What if we did it."

Tbh the thing that comvimces cass the most is when tim pulls out the old video news clip and she sees the duet and its. Its so pretty and it looks effortless but also its difficult and needs so much practice and precision and strength. And she has all this, and its used for protection and upholding her beliefs in nobody dying ever while she is around but also,,,,she is not just a weapon, so she can use it to do things for fun and this looks fun. 

I think cass would insist on doing John's part of the duet (or cheetah platt's if u watch the video) because it requires more strength and. Look. Does cass wanna flex a little? No. She wants to flex a lot. 

I am imagining both tim and cass in the outfit erica linz is wearing, the fluttery shorts with the leotard bc i like it<3

They practuce the most at tims nest bc he has the rigging and set up equipment he uses for training (and fun)

Sgdhdj they giggle so much when they try to figure out how to adjust the routine to their heights

Tim absolutely gets dropped like several times and its absolutely on purpose each time

Dont worry there are mats for a reason

Tim makes video recordings of each practice so dick can also have those 

^tims and cass' friends also get the video recordings

I think tim and cass do a little preview show in the nest before the actual performance and they do it for cullen, harper, kon, cassie, and bart

Harper when she sees Cass haul tim up into the air while shes dangling upside down with just a strap and one arm: Hahha fuck-

do kon cassie and bart nearly have heart attacks when tim gets dangled upside down by his foot and dropped til his head nearly touches the floor while cass onky grips him by his ankle with one hand? Yeah. They cant help it, that is their little fleshball baseline squishy human. 

But hey nobody gets injured and it looks pretty so!!! Success!!!

Tim and cass set up in an upstairs room in the manor and theyre just ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)(‾̀◡‾́ ๑) while they keep everyone away from the room til its time to give dick his gift

This makes bruce nervous because Oh God What Did They Do

Tim gets dick to open his presents first before anything else 

Tim: We have a surprise for you but we dont want to eat before giving it to you

Dick, who is now So Curious: okay :))

Tim and cass dragging him off to the room where theyve got all the stuff ready

Its really just supposed to be a present for Dick so everyone else gets the doors clpsed rip </3

Its okay tim set up recording equipment they can watch later

Dick when he realizes which routine tim n cass are doing: 🥺

Does he cry? Little bit lmao

Is he happy? i think he is. 

This spawned bc i love the Duet on Ground and Air way too much to be normal about it sorry sjsjhdhshhs

Chapter Text

“Did you really forgive me,” Jason wonders as Tim stitches up a gash on his shoulder blade.

He feels thin arms loop around his shoulders, soft hair pressing against the nape of his neck. The side of Tim’s face presses against Jason’s skin, and Jason can feel his soft breath. He’s a light, faint weight against Jason, like a childhood blanket being draped across his shoulders. 

Jason can feel the way Tim’s mouth curls against his skin, and it feels like the sharp end of a fish hook dragging against him. 

“No,” Tim answers.

Tim’s arms feel like a noose around his neck.

“Why would I forgive someone who means nothing to me?”

Tim leans closer so Jason can feel Tim whisper against his ear.

“You don’t mean enough to me for me to care about an apology from you.”

Chapter Text

I was coming up with codenames that the yj kids would call eachother bc they wouldnt want anyone from the legal guilds to possibly overhear their REAL names 

I think them using codenames could add to a lot of shenaniganrey between the Young Just Us Guild and the other, legal guilds that are chasing them (everytime i say the legal guilds are chasing the yj kids, i imagine a looney toons ass chase scene set to yakety sax)

The guilds: whoever could these strange, powerful mages be?!??!?!

The yj kids: totally not your run away guild kids who felt unwelcome and unsafe at home, bye ✌

Now, what i have is:

S'lobo- Nox (as in part of the word 'noxious' which i find quite relevant to s'lobo's poison magic)

Anita- Empress (i know, lazy, but i literally cant think of a more perfect name for her)

Cissie- Clover (since her magic is possibility manipulation, i went with something to reference a 4 leafed clover that signifies good luck)

Cassie- Astrape (or Astra but Astrape references the greek personification of lightning whuch i found appropriate)

Kon- Nova (like a star gone supernova also vaguely references kons light powers without being obvious)

Bart- Mercury (the planet that has the fastest orbit, related to barts powers)

Greta- Banshee (since they warn people of death, i figured this would be appropriate for greta)

Tim- Nightingale (i really like tim having a bird name and it has 'night' in it, so its vaguely related to tims celestial keys but not obvious)

I think i could take suggestions for Anita's name but the others im perfectly fine with and Anita's name as Empress does suit her so well

I alllmost went with either Celeste or Starling for tims codename but settled on Nightingale bc it was far less obvious than Celeste and i like it a bit more than Starling. Ofc i didnt go with robin for tim, robin is for Dick and i will hold true to that. But i still like tim having a bird name and shen Tim sits on kons shoulder for a better vantage point, they all say that their bird is perching. 

I really quite like Greta being known as Banshee bc it gives Ominous Vibes to people who are outsiders and dont know the YJ kids. So when they see greta, only a bit taller than tim, with her fluttery short hair and big brown eyes, they dont get why shes called Banshee. It seems funny. But theres that lurking hint that shes called Banshee for a good reason. Fuck around and find out. 

Pretty much all the names i came up with are perfect to me, and i wouldnt change any of them besides maybe empress. Id take suggestions for anitas codename but i also will probably just keep it as Empress. Empress title is well deserved for anita. 

All the yj kids wear some kind of facial covering with an illegal obscuring charm cast on it that makes it so their faces/voices are unrecognizable. 

Tim and Bart wear steampunk-esque goggles, with Bart's being red with amber lenses and Tim's being green with black lenses

Kon wears black wore frame sunglasses with red lenses

Cassie has these rectangular kinda goggles (like the ones she wears in the comics) that have white straps+ frame with light blue lenses

Cissie wears a columbina mask For The Drama, and its red and white

S'lobo just got a bunch of black bandanas enchanted and he ties them spaghetti western bandit style around his nose and the bottom of his face. 

Greta wears a kinda phantom of the opera mask because of The Drama, its like,,,,off white and looks like its been brushed with sand. 

Anita just wears a full facial cowl like in the comics because she is sensible unlike her loser ass (affectionate) friends <-she also likes the mystery and drama of the full facial covering and its like,,,magenta and gold. No she doesnt care if it matches her outfit, it looks so good and she will not change it

Chapter Text

        Dean Netherlander checks his pocket watch as he waits for the door to open. Normally, he would not be making housecalls. This is far from a normal case. Finally, the door swings open. Jack Drake is an average man, average height and average weight for his age. He is a business man and a magic artifacts expert. He has a firm handshake, though far from the best handshake that the dean has ever experienced. 

“I apologize for not going to Brentwood to discuss the terms of Tim’s enrollment, but it’s…difficult to leave him alone,” Mr. Drake says, glancing over his shoulder.

Netherlander nods; mages are tricky, especially those who belong to the illegal guilds. Nothing he wants to get entangled with. Dean Netherlander is a sensible man.

“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Mac,” Mr. Drake tells a somwhat elderly woman with a very stern face, “Bring Tim out of his room. I think it might do him well to meet the dean of Brentwood.”

She nods with a grimace, setting down coffee. 

“You run a tight ship, so to speak, correct,” Mr. Drake asks.

“Brentwood has never failed to produce young men who know how to act accordingly and contribute well to society,” Dean Netherlander replies proudly, “And I have worked quite hard to uphold that tradition.”

“That’s good,” Mr. Drake mutters, “Tim is a good student, I’ve never received complaints from any of his schools before. But he’s…changed, ever since he’s come back. He’s…well, I think you might be able to straighten him out. He’s a good young man, just…well, I suppose the kidnapping may have effected him psychologically.”

Dean Netherlander nods, sipping at his coffee. Timothy Drake will not be the first troubled young man he’s dealt with. 

“Ah,” Mr. Drake says, “Here’s Tim. I’ll let you speak with him, I have a few calls to make.”

Jack Drake sweeps out of the room, and Dean Netherlander’s first thought upon meeting Timothy is that he looks nothing like his father. A portrait on the fireplace mantle indicates who Timothy Drake got his features from, though the darkness of his hair is a mystery. Long, black hair like spilled ink pools over one thin shoulder in a braid, wildflowers in a myriad of soft colors slotted into the braid. Timothy Drake has enormous eyes, eyes almost too big for his face, and he’s small. There’s something about him that makes Dean Netherlander think of something wild, something that’s crawled right from the forest. Or, no, dragged from the forest, forcefully removed from its natural environment.

“I am going to cause trouble,” Timothy announces plainly, “I will break your windows and smash your chairs. I will bite and spit and claw your face off, and anyone else’s face off. I will scream all night long so nobody can sleep, and I won’t let you rest till I get home.”

“You will be able to visit here on weekends,” Dean Netherlander calmly informs him.

Timothy’s teeth bare, his lips curling back off his teeth in a not-smile. The dean is somewhat surprised that there is not blood torn viciously from another animal staining his teeth. The river of ink that makes his hair is more like a field of fire-blackened grass, a long mane of ash and coal, living things that have been charred, ravaged by flames with only a few flowers left as survivors. 

“I’m not talking about here,” Timothy hisses, turning his head towards the window.

Gotham is a gloomy place, though the dean hardly minds. He’s never been a fan of the heat anyway. Timothy’s harsh face, all razor-sharp edges soften till he’s more the face of a cliff, beaten by ocean waves and crumpling. His pale eyes are treacherous, and so is the downturn of his once-angry mouth. Timothy is a wild thing. Timothy is a child. Dean Netherlander does not want this vicious little thing in his school, and yet, the dean supposes that is exactly where Timothy will end up. 

“I want to go home,” Timothy mumbles, his eyes flickering closed as he seems to search for the shadow of warmth the sun casts down, “Where the sun is. I used to hate the heat and I used to hate sunny days. I want to go back.”

“Forget that,” the dean can only advise, “You are safe. Mages are dangerous people, and they lead dangerous lives. You saw firsthand.”

“I will raze that school to the ground,” Timothy promises, his voice breaking and soft, “I will get home or I will die.”

“You will learn to live,” Dean Netherlander tells him, thinking of his own days as a young boy, wild and troublesome, full of magic.

Timothy laughs like he’s swallowed glass shards, his long black fringe tangling with his long black eyelashes as he leans forward. 

“I cannot live here anymore,” Timothy insists, “I am sorry in advance, sir.”

Dean Netherlander leaves, his coffee unfinished. There is a small, slight shadow in the window, looking wistfully towards where the sun should be. 

Chapter Text

There are 8 different constellation families

Ursa Major- 10

Zodiac- 12

Perseus- 9

Hercules- 19

Orion- 5

Heavenly Waters- 9

Bayer- 11

La Caille- 13

In these families there are many constellations to be represented. In all, theres 88 constellations, and they all belong to these various families. In fairy tail there were only the 12 golden zodiacs and the rest were silver but i kinda wanna divide them.up further into their appropriate families

Also i was thinking of making the zodiac keys golden but all the rest are precious stones like diamonds and rubies yknow. Just because thats pretty to me♡

The ursa major family is made up of the 10 keys representing the 10 constellations of the ursa major family. These keys are the Moonstone Keys, not just embedded with moonstones but the keys themselves are carved from moonstone. 

The 12 zodiac keys are golden, tho i had thought of making them diamond instead but discarded the idea. I'll keep them gold, so there are the Golden Keys. 

The perseus keys are the Sapphire Keys. The 9 keys represent the 9 constellations on the perseus constellation family. 

The hercules constellation family is the largest grouping, though that doesnt make ot any easier for Tim to acquire them. These 19 keys represent the hercules constellation family, and there are 19 Ruby Keys. 

Orion has the smallest constellation family, and yeah its really hard to come across the keys for this family since theres only 5. The Diamond Keys are incredibly difficult to find. 

The 9 Heavenly Waters keys represent the Heavenly Waters constellation. As they are associated with the sea, these keys are the Pearl Keys. 

The Bayer constellation family is represented by 11 keys. These keys are the Onyx Keys. 

La Caille constellation family has 13 constellations in it. So, there are 13 keys. These 13 keys are the Emerald Keys. 

With how beautiful these keys are, each key polished and flawless in their shimmering stones and metals that make them, its no wonder people value them as rare artifacts to keep in their homes as prizes

Collectors spend entire fortunes searching for a Celestial key to keep, unaware of the spirits residing within those keys.

Due to the fact they are made of such precious materials and regarded as valuable artifacts of a type of magic that has been lost (aka Celestial Key mages were murdered for their keys or they had their keys stolen from them, so they succumbed to the separation curse) the Celestial Keys are cherished and people take great care of their precious artifacts. Not to mention, they are literally tethering Celestial spirits to the mortal realm and contain vast amounts of magic. So they arent easy to break. If these keys were to be broken, the spirit would be released from their tether to the world. 

88 keys is a lot to collect

Sgjsjd tims gonna need a bigger key ring. Or more key rings. 

Mmm,,,wonder what would happen if someone collected all the keys. 

Chapter Text

          Alfred fetches hot coffee as Bruce observes Mr. Drake, who is dabbing freezing cold rain off his face and clothes, soaking the cushion of the chair that he sits in. Bruce steeples his hands, his elbows resting on his desk. Stocky, average height, with dark brown hair and brown eyes, very average. A normal man, who is clammy and has shaking hands. Perhaps the same age as Bruce, no more than five years older? The crumpled paper that would officiate the request being input to the guild is clamped in Mr. Drake’s hands, crinkling in his fist. 

“My son is missing,” Mr. Drake says, his shoulders shaking from the cold, “He was kidnapped. I need you to find him.”

Bruce thinks of Jason, his lost child who only came back a few months ago, and came back so different. His heart clenches.

“How long has it been since the kidnapping,” Bruce asks, “Did you see the kidnapper’s face? Has there been any ransom note?”

“It’s been- it- he was meant to be at school ,” Mr. Drake mumbles, “Boarding school, far from here.”

“How long, Mr. Drake,” Bruce repeats.

“Six months, I think,” Mr. Drake admits, collapsing back into the chair, “I’ve been- my wife died. I haven’t had the time - Tim should’ve been at school.”

The possibility of Tim Drake being alive has exponentially shrunk. 

“I didn’t see who kidnapped him,” Mr. Drake continues, now rambling, “I went into his room, to ask about an artifact I was meant to sell- my wife was obsessed with finding the keys- and it was bare. His clothes were all put away, no mess anywhere. Tim’s no slob, but he’s a teenage boy. There should be books on the bed, shoes and socks all over the floor. It was perfect and I knew he was gone. And I know why they took him.”

Mr. Drake slaps a notebook down on the desk. There’s sketches of keys across every page, frenzied charcoal smudging across the papers. 

“These Celestial Keys were my wife’s greatest obsession, and I think Tim was so filled with grief that he took an interest in them," Mr. Drake murmurs almost to himself, "Might’ve even snagged one to show to his neighborhood friends. Those keys, damn keys. They got Janet killed. They must’ve gotten Tim kidnapped.”

Celestial Keys. Lost artifacts or collectors’ greatest prizes. Magical keys once belonging to Celestial Key mages- usually women, as far as Bruce has found to be documented, and he’s never read any documents about male Celestial Key mages- with such a deep connection to the Celestial Realm that they were believed to have drunk the blood of the Celestial Spirits for their power.

Those mages now wiped off the face of the earth, hunted down. No more Starry Temples or tales of young women who ascended to the constellations upon death. The Keys are the only evidence that there were such mages who walked the earth. Somehow, one of these Key Collectors must have come upon Tim Drake with his keys, and decided to take the keys, and the child. 

“We will find him,” Bruce promises, though he can’t promise they’ll find him alive.

The request is accepted, Mr. Drake leaves, and Bruce is left with a memory crystal in his pocket that will show him the flickering face of Tim Drake when he holds it in his palm. Another face to join those haunting him, the faces of those he couldn’t save. Bruce thinks that Tim’s face will remain in his mind for years to come. 

Chapter Text

        There’s a robin, golden underbelly and red feathers, green beak and eyes and feet. It chirps happily in the cage that it’s in, black cast iron that sits in front of Bruce’s nose. The robin sings and grows, it’s body expanding till the bars of the cage begin to press aganist it. Suffocating, suffocating, the bird is being crushed and Bruce opens the door and-

Black feathers and blue feathers rain down as the bird cries out and it flies away. Bruce can’t chase it because his feet are nailed to the floor by batarangs. 

“Robin, Robin,” the blackbird shrieks, “You thief! You stole my parents’ feathers!”

It makes no sense and there’s broken Robin bird bodies in Bruce’s cupped palms and-

“I hate you, I hate you,” the black bird cries and flies away.

“Come back,” Bruce calls, but his voice is too quiet. 

The black bird grows smaller with the distance between them til it blinks out of sight. Bruce pulls the batarangs out of his face to give chase. His feet ache as he runs, looking for the blackbird. He trips on a mound of dirt and stone. 

The broken gravestone is clawed and scratched, the earth stirred and crumpling. 

“You can’t even pay me enough respect to not trod on my grave,” a bright warm voice chides, “Nice going, B.”

In a tattered costume, Jason sits on a bench. He’s licking an ice cream cone. Plain vanilla, Jason’s favorite. There’s shards of bone sticking out of his leg. An eye falls out of its socket, hanging against Jason’s cheek. He reeks of rot. 

“Seriously, you kill me then step on my grave,” Jason laughs, “Man, B, you really got it coming to you.”

Jason bites into his ice cream and explodes. A chunk of flesh his Bruce’s cheek. A bone shard bounces off his chest. There’s a smoking crater where Jason had been sitting, and a perfect ice cream cone left, dripping vanilla down. There’s a scrap of yellow cloak in Bruce’s hand. 

Cass sits on the edge of the abyss. She’s got black shadows crawling up her legs. It’s pulling her closer to the edge, and Bruce is in a bucket. He can’t move. He can’t climb out of the tar. 

“I can fly,” she says. She leaps. She falls. She flies, and she’s a shadowy bat figure, taking off into the night. The black bird and the black bat circle over his head, cawing and squeaking. 

“I am better,” the bat squeaks, “And I always will be.”

“I hate you,” the black bird crows, “I always have.”

They fly too high for Bruce to grab them and pull them down into his arms, and he can hear Jason’s laughter echoing around them.

Damian marches right over and he is covered in blood. 

“Look now,” he demands, “Aren’t you proud?”

He is leaking blood from his mouth. There is a sword in his chest and Bruce doesn’t know what to do. 

“I did this for you,” Damian boasts, and coughs out blood. 

It splatters on Bruce’s shirt.

“Don’t move,” Bruce pleads, “Just…wait. We can…we can fix this.”

Damian pulls the sword out and buries it in Bruce’s gut. 

“No,” Damian hisses, “You can’t.”

Bruce is an animal dying, a sword in his stomach. There’s Tim, and he’s dressed in a lambskin, wooly and soft. Tim is a lamb, a pink nosed creature with flopping ears. A lamb who bandages Bruce’s wound and uses the sword to eviscerate himself, guts spewing on the floor.

“It’s okay, Mr. Wolf,” Tim says, smiling warmly, “I won’t die. I can’t run away, either.”

Tim’s legs are broken and limp, shackled down to the ground. Bruce can’t control his own body, and it’s like he’s watching himself. His wolfish teeth dig into the soft innards, pink and slippery against his skin, and Tim bleats and lets the wolf eat at his liver as he strokes the wolf's giant, blood stained muzzle gently, a child petting a puppy. Then, when the wolf’s had his fill, Tim’s skin zips up again. Bruce watches, the bird and the bat circling over his head, the ghost of a laughter ringing in his ear, the blood of Damian dripping on the floor, as Bruce’s own body eats Tim’s guts over and over, and Tim' skin zips up every time Bruce is done and has had his fill.

This goes on until a tall, curly haired hunter with a red ‘S’ on his hunter’s hat appears, raises a shotgun, and shoots Bruce-the-wolf dead. The hunter lifts the lamb child.

“You needed me,” Tim says quietly to Bruce-the-wolf’s dead body, the skin of his belly zipped up and will never be opened again, “But I’ll never need you.”

The hunter wanders away, carrying off his prized lamb. Bruce is back in his body, his belly empty and all he can do is lay there. He is dead after all.

Chapter Text

‘We mustn't hit others.’

‘We need to eat real food, not just snacks.’

‘Yes, you must shower before bed.’

Tim’s thirteen and Bruce is in his mid-thirties. Tim puts his hands on his hips and scolds Bruce, who looks all too tired and distant to be paying any attention but still Tim berates him. 

‘You mustn’t hit others like that.’

He says this like Bruce is an unruly toddler, like Tim’s an exasperated adult. He doesn’t really get how fucked up these role reversals are, not yet. He’s thirteen and he’s hopeful, he’s desperate, he is afraid that the city that Bruce is holding hostage will shudder out its last peaceful breaths and die with violence. Alfred watches in the background, and Tim will later wonder if Alfred was cursing himself for letting things come to this point.

(But he lets Tim do this anyway, and he doesn’t say a word.)

“Oh God, Jason,” Bruce rasps, his face crushed against Tim’s collarbone.

Tim pats oily, messy hair soothingly, sitting on the edge of Bruce’s bed. He’s feverish, and a wound might be infected. 

“Jason,” Bruce whispers hoarsely, his thick arms squeezing around Tim’s middle too tightly.

Tim just works his fingers through knotted hair. He did the same for his dad in the hospital. It’s been a while since Bruce had one of these nightmares, but then again, Tim’s old friend Scarecrow had been out on the town tonight. Bruce may have bagged him, but that doesn’t mean Jonathan Crane hadn’t given Bruce a little parting gift. Thanks a lot, Scarecrow-the-fail-lord. 

“I know,” Tim soothes, and his ribs creak under the pressure Bruce puts on them when he squeezes Tim tighter.

Tim squeezes his eyes shut and thinks of his mother’s hands in his hair, gentle and cool. She was the only person who ever did it for him, and it’s been too long since it last happened. Now he does it for his dad, and he does it for Bruce. Tim can smell infection and sickness. 

(Bruce won’t remember in the morning.)

Tim measures out the medication for his dad, and checks on how much of the breakfast Tim made that he ate. The oatmeal is untouched in the bowl.

“C’mon, dad, it’s not that bad,” Tim pleads, putting down the little plastic cup with his dad’s medicine in it.

“It’s oatmeal,” his dad grumbles. 

Tim fetches some chocolate chips from the pantry and melts them a tiny bit in a little bowl in the microwave. He dumps the slightly melted chocolate mess into the oatmeal and stirs. 

“Now will you eat it,” Tim asks, holding up a spoon of chocolate oatmeal.

Tim almost cries when his dad relents and starts to eat with shaking hands. He’s only a couple bites in before the spoon drops from his dad’s shaking hands.

“Dammit,” his dad snarls, weakly flinging the spoon away.

Tim sighs, picks up the spoon and cleans up the bits of oatmeal on the floor.

“I know it’s hard,” Tim placates, patting his dad’s shoulder, “You’re doing better.”

“Like Hell I am,” his dad grunts, jaw working weakly in anger.

“You’re doing good,” Tim says again, “Hey, how about you pick your favorite lunch and I’ll make it for you?”

His father agrees reluctantly, and Tim wheels him to his favorite spot to stare out the window. Tim washes the dishes and helps Mrs. Mac with the laundry. 

(Tim swallows down his own frustrated tears and cries in relief when his father goes to the rehab center, taken off Tim’s hands.)

Tim helps carry the bags to the car, checks the gas level, and makes sure the tires are alright. Dana shakes her head with a laugh as she loads a bag of snacks into the front of the car.

“Alright, make sure you call when you’re halfway through the trip and again when you guys get there, I’ve double-checked with the hotel that your reservations are all sorted out,” Tim rambles as he organizes the bags, “He can’t have more than 3 drinks and not after 9 p.m., not before 5 p.m., and he’s had to have had at least two full meals.”

“You got it, Captain,” Dana replies, “In bed before 11?”

“He’s got a ten o’clock curfew,” Tim confirms, “No later than 10:30.”

“I’ll make sure he gets his morning walk,” Dana whispers as his father wanders down the front steps.

“Call me if he gets too drunk,” Tim mumbles to her, “He gets way too cranky. I’ll handle that.”

They drive off on their trip to Maine. Tim awaits the calls from Dana, even the one where he’s gotten drunk. Tim knows his father well. He gets the call. 

“Janet,” his father slurs, “do you remember Calcutta? Do you?”

“Drink some water,” Tim advises softly, leaning his head against the wall.

“Always nagging me,” his father mutters, “You n’ Tim. Always on my case.”

“You’ll be happy you drank some water in the morning,” Tim says.

“You should be here with me,” his father starts to sob, “Janet.”

He cries for hours, and Tim just talks to him. His father cries for his dead wife. At some point, Jack says, “He looks just like you, Janet.”

Tim knows Jack’s talking about him. It’s not the first time Jack’s told him so, a little too wiped out from some whiskey  to remember, but Tim can recall each time. Tim calls Dana when Jack starts to vomit.

“I got it from here, Tim,” she promises.

Tim collapses back on his bed. He feels like he’s been scraped out.

(At least he gets help from Dana. She takes some of the load off of Tim’s shoulders.)

Tim shouldn’t be here. He should be filing reports and checking the camera footage and-

Kon hauls Tim up on his shoulders, ankles warm against Tim’s skin. Tim’s hands clamp in Kon’s hair, though he doesn’t seem to mind the fact that Tim’s fingers are digging into his scalp. Kon just looks up, amused. Tim scowls, but adjusts the earplugs in Kon’s ears. The sunglasses Kon always wears usually make him look like a douchebag when he wears them at night. Now, with the flashing concert lights flickering off of them, Kon just looks sensible. And he also looks like a jerk, but that’s neither here nor there. 

“I should go back,” Tim yells over the pulsing music.

“Nah,” Kon hollers, “C’mon Wonder, you’re gonna shrivel up and die in front of that computer.”

“But Bat-”, Tim starts.

“Nope,” Kon cuts him off, “Fuck that guy. You’re miserable.”

Tim is-

There’s a loud cheering and a heavy guitar riff and Tim starts to laugh. Bart is trying to carry Suzie on his back and failing, Cassie and Cissie screaming happily. He feels warm. The world is bright under the night sky. 

(Nobody is as concerned with Tim’s happiness as other kids like him and isn’t that a fucking tragedy?)

Tim pinches the bridge of his nose. God, Bruce really does try his patience. He’s finding silvery-white hairs in his hair, sometimes in his hairbrush. 

“I cannot make Alfred talk to you if he does not want to,” Tim repeats, trying to hold his temper back, “He will come to you on his own time. You just have to accept that.”
Tim doesn’t say a lot of things, even though he wants to.

‘Stop doing things to people that they won’t appreciate or think of as acceptable because people will cut you out of their lives.’

‘Maybe try communicating instead of just expecting people to read your damn mind.’

‘Accept that actions have consequences.’

‘Try saying sorry instead of trying to force feed people crappy excuses.’

Tim doesn’t say any of these things. 

“Hmph,” Bruce grunts.

“Bruce,” Tim chides, “I don’t speak caveman.”

Even if Tim did speak caveman, he wouldn’t let Bruce get away with communicating in just grunts, growls, and snippy little huffs. 

“Talk to him,” Bruce grumbles.

The phone clicks, and Bruce is gone. Typical. 

(“How about you talk to him,” Tim wants to screech at the top of his lungs. He doesn’t.)

Jack is red-faced with fury, and Tim is so fucking done.

“I don’t get it,” Jack scowls at the emails on the computer screen, “What the Hell is wrong with them?”

Tim clicks out of the emails that Dana’s family sent, shutting down the computer.

“It is a little sudden,” Tim tries to placate, “Her moving in and she’s only known you a few months, and you guys aren’t even married. They know you’ve got a kid and they just don’t want her life to be…well, they just want what’s best for her.”

Jack bangs his fist against the keyboard, and Tim just swallows down a tired sigh. 

“She’s perfectly happy,” Jack snaps, “You like her, I love her, so what’s the deal?”

Tim’s father is in his late forties, and Tim feels eons older. Jack scowls like an embittered teenager fighting his first love’s family to be with her, and Tim feels like a wrung out dish rag. He wonders if his mom ever felt like this. 

“They’ll come around,” Tim tells him, and he’s not sure if it’s a lie or not. 

(If it ends up being a lie, Tim will handle whatever tantrum Jack pitches next.)

Bruce doesn’t call unless Tim calls first. He wonders if Bruce would’ve treated Martha Wayne like this if she lived. Tim’s a harried parent making sure their moody young adult son is eating enough, sleeping enough, changing clothes often enough. Alfred’s off of babysitting duties and there’s nobody at the Manor to check up on Bruce’s daily things. Cass shouldn’t do it, God forbid. Babs would rather die than play babysitter for Bruce and Dick’s too busy being a real adult to bother with Bruce. Tim wishes he could be like them. But he isn’t them, he’s Tim and he knows Stephanie is with Bruce but he also knows Stephanie isn’t the kind of person who’d take care of Bruce. She’s the kind to look out for herself. It’s a good quality, Tim admits. 

“How’s it been,” Tim asks.

“Hng,” Bruce mutters, “Spoiler is…a work in progress. Slow progress.”

“Look, she’s self-taught and I’ve been the only person who will do anything with her aside from a few one-offs so just give her time. She’ll catch up quick,” Tim sighs.

He leans against the bathroom sink in his dorm and wonders how many more of his hairs Bruce will leech of their color from the stress he gives Tim.

“She’s….well, not you,” Bruce grumbles.

Like Tim’s a favored babysitter who needs a break. Like Tim’s a mother who just wants some time away from his needy, screaming child. Like Tim is a toy that Bruce prefers over the others. Tim starts to wonder when he started to feel this way. Just exhausted instead of pleased that he’s preferred by an adult. 

(It shouldn’t have ever gotten to this point.)

Jack says it like he’s a rebellious young man speaking to his too-strict parent, chin raised in defiance. It happens over the phone, but Tim can just tell.

“We’re getting married,” Jack tells him, “Dana and I.”

Doesn’t have the decency to tell Tim face-to-face. Tim hasn’t seen Jack since he tossed Tim into another boarding school because schools and dorms have raised Tim more than anyone else. Don’t fix what’s not broken, that’s how Jack thinks of Tim and school. If Tim can be raised in a school by teachers and the long stretches of silence Tim gets in between phone calls, then that’s what Jack will do and he won’t change a thing. Tim’s almost relieved that Jack sticks to the same patterns and that Tim doesn’t have to worry about Jack being unsupervised. Dana can help Tim watch Jack. Tim gets a break from the worrying and checking in and he’s a terrible son. God, fuck, he’s horrible for not wanting his dad to be there because it won’t be Tim-and-his-dad, it’s fucking Tim-and-Jack and Tim needs to take care of Jack. 

“Okay,” Tim replies, “When’s the wedding?”

Dana already has Tim’s blessing. They’ve bonded over the experience of Jack Drake together. The ordeal of caring for Jack is one they share, and it’s not an easy one at all. She’s his friend more than his step-mom and Tim’s glad. If he had another parent, he’d have to take care of them too.

(Tim stares at his reflection and doesn’t see a child at all.)

Tim’s phone is ringing. It keeps ringing and ringing and-

Bruce won’t stop calling. For all that he complained about Steph being slow, he was sure quick to expose Tim’s identity to her. If Tim had been there-

Well, if Tim had been there, Tim would’ve been busy with Bruce, making sure Bruce wasn’t acting out. So it’s Tim’s fault for getting lax on his duties as Bruce’s caretaker. Of course. He’s going to shove excuses down Tim’s throat til Tim chokes, and Steph will be right by him, throwing blame more on Tim than taking it herself- she’s always been one to look out for herself. Tim’s fault for not trusting her with every bit of his life, the life that’s dwindling because Bruce is a needy person, and Tim’s there, like new land to pillage and rip things from like minerals from under the earth. Tim’s being bled of himself and like the gold veins in California, Bruce will mine out everything for him till Tim’s empty and just cored out earth. He wants to throw up. 

“We need to go tonight,” Tim says, throwing clothes in an empty bag, “Oh my God, we need to leave.”

Bruce won’t hesitate to show up and shove his excuses down Tim’s throat in a fucking second, though he’ll wait for tomorrow night. 

“That’s fine with me, I think all the blue uniforms are rotting my brain,” Danny agrees, “Hey, are you gonna vomit?”

“I might,” Tim admits, “Just grab your stuff, tell me where to drive, and get me the fuck out of here.”

They’re in the car in 15 minutes and the night is smoggy, dark, and smells like wet garbage. Tim’s phone starts to ring as soon as they’re a fucking mile out of Gotham. 

“...Can I ask who ‘middle aged toddler’ is,” Danny asks.

“My fucking- oh my God, shut up - foster dad,” Tim sighs, “We had an argument. Now he’s gonna give me a bunch of bullcrap- I’m going to run him over .”

“How about instead of going to jail for someone you apparently call a middle aged child," Danny interrupts, “I can just…”

He takes Tim’s phone, declines the next call coming in, and shuts the phone off before chucking it into the backseat. It bounces off the seat and slides out of view. 

“Huh,” Tim says, “I guess that works too.”

Tim leans against his seat and starts to laugh. It’s dragged out of him like a knife through his skin before he just rolls down the window all the way, says, “Take the wheel,” to Danny, and hauls his body out of the window till he’s sitting on the edge of the car.

“Oh my God, what is wrong with you ,” Danny asks as he grabs the wheel with one hand and wraps his arm around Tim’s legs.

Tim doesn’t answer because he’s twisting around to look at the fading shape of Gotham and screams, “I fucking hate you!”

He can feel Danny laugh against him, and Tim doesn’t cry, but he feels better than if he did.

(He wishes, just a little, they’d run away. Just kept driving forever and ever and ever. )

Is taking care of Jack worse than having to go to his funeral?

Is taking care of Bruce worse than having to go to his funeral?

(Oh God, Bart’s gone. Oh God, Kon is gone. Tim’s alone-alone-alone. Where did the light go? What can Tim even do?)

Tim finds Bruce. He can do that. Taking care of Bruce is nothing new. He can do it. He can. He can. 

(He knew Bruce wasn’t dead, because Tim will never get free.)

Bruce doesn’t need Tim any more. He’s back and he’s cast Tim aside. Tim’s been drained off all that he used to be. Tim’s been robbed of his ores and minerals and-

“Fuck you,” Tim mutters.

He will replenish, he’s no stream run dry. The pillager has moved on, thinking Tim has nothing more to take.

“Ready,” Kon asks, hauling Tim’s bags.
Tim will become whole again, and there will be people who he cares for, but in a way that isn’t parasitic. People who will tend to him, and who he will in turn give happily. If Bruce decided he’s all grown up, Tim’s done his job. He can quit, in a way a parent can’t most of the time. Because Tim’s not a fucking parent. 

“Let’s go,” Tim says. 

He’s gone and by the time Bruce comes crawling back, Tim won’t be there. It’s not child abandonment on Tim’s part. He just wants to stop dying. He’s somewhere else, with sun and clean air and he isn’t there to harvest from like a madman who doesn’t know how to conserve resources. Tim is long, long gone.  

Chapter Text

Brucie Wayne cannot show anger, not in the way Bruce is able to. Brucie Wayne is a mess, a father of multiple children, a former-bumbling alcoholic turned bumbling clutz who has to juggle his various kids and can’t be attached to a bottle, a man who can cry at the drop of a dime and gives out money by the handfuls to people who need it. Admittedly, Brucie is good for stress relief, and it does give Bruce a delight when he watches Lex Luthor’s vein in his forehead throb, reaching from his brows all the way around his shiny, bald head. He loves to watch Ollie’s eye twitch as he resists the urge to bodily tackle Bruce because they have to play nice enough together at events even when Bruce does something that make’s Oliver’s eyes scream ‘I want you dead in a ditch’. But Brucie cannot get angry. He can laugh, cry, joke, and act stupid in ways that Bruce himself won’t do. But anger is far, far from the norm. 

Which is why it pains him so greatly to keep his smile plastered on his face as one Kon-El Kent flashes him a certified Toothpast Ad Smile. It’s the same one Clark wears that gets him out of trouble for every god damn thing on the planet. It’s the same smile that makes Bruce want to tear his hair out because Clark wears this smile specifically when he wants to get away with everything and does . 

“Hi, Timmy,” Brucie coos, cupping Tim’s face warmly, “You brought your little friend to the press conference!”

He’s lucky they’re out in public, otherwise Tim would’ve bitten Bruce’s face off after snapping all his fingers. As it is, Tim smiles in a way that implies that Bruce should be watching his back for the next few weeks. Dear God, when did Tim become so much like Janet? 

“Oh, you know how it is, B,” Tim chirps brightly, maneuvering himself out of Bruce’s hold, “It’s just so reassuring to have my bodyguard with me.”

Kon-El winks over the rims of his glasses. The neatly done knot in Bruce’s tie slips apart. Tim smiles sweetly.

“He’s just here for me,” Tim says, “Don’t worry.”

Bruce’s left sock slides down his foot. 

“I’m a professional, Mr. Wayne,” Kon-El promises, and oh, Bruce can just hear Clark laughing at him hysterically, “I’m a bodyguard. I’m paid to guard a body. I’ll do my job just fine.”

Bruce fiddles with his tie as he lets out a jovial laugh, fighting to get it back in order. 

“I’m sure you will.”

Socks slip down. Bruce’s belt becomes unbuckled randomly. Bruce’s tie is never as neat as he wants it. Bruce’s hair fights against the gel on it and the gel only wins half the time. Tim sits there at every event, Kon-El by his side who wears that Toothpaste Ad Smile all the time. 

“Get him under control,” Bruce grunts as he plops down on Clark’s couch.

“Can’t do that,” Clark tells him apologetically, “Kon’s just at that age where he does what he wants. I’m just the old, lame guy who lets him eat up the whole fridge.”

Clark sighs, shakes his head, and grins as Bruce lets out one frustrated groan. It’s the goddamn Toothpaste Ad Smile. 

Chapter Text

Tim doesn’t sleep. Rather, he drifts, still somewhere in the world of wakefulness as their skin presses against each other under the tangled blankets. It’s still far from dawn, the night in Gotham as dark as pitch and the sky heavy with thick storm clouds. Tim keeps his arms wrapped loosely around Danny’s neck, face pressed against the crook of his shoulder. 

“You should be asleep when I leave,” Danny says quietly, one hand tangled in Tim’s hair and the other running down the knobs of Tim’s spine, fingers dancing against the bared scars streaking along Tim's skin before stopping above his tailbone.

“Oh? Why,” Tim whispers, his own fingers playing with the ends of Danny’s messy hair, and if he were to look up, he would catch sight of the faint, slightly red lines of nail marks embedded along the skin of Danny’s shoulders.

“If you’re awake, I’ll just end up asking you to leave with me,” Danny admits, and his hand moves so his pinky finger is rubbing small circles into the sharp jut of Tim’s hipbone, tracing along the shallow divots and the faint finger-shaped bruises that will fade quickly in the coming days.

“Oh,” Tim mumbles, “I can’t.”

“I already know that,” Danny replies, “I’d still wanna try.”

Tim ducks his head down, pressing the bridge of his nose further into warm skin. He could imagine it, though, just leaving. Going somewhere far, far away. How irresponsible of him it’d be, how impossible for him to do so. How some small, silenced part of him wails at the loss. 

“I need to stay here,” Tim whispers, mostly to remind himself, “I have to.”

“I wish you didn’t,” Danny tells him, and there’s the warmth of lips against the sweat-damp tangle of Tim’s hair. 

“...Me too,” Tim exhales, as shocking to himself as a sudden gunshot.

The hours of the morning are far away still. Tim pulls his face from its hiding place and reaches up for another, proper kiss. As long as it’s before dawn, they can remain like this. The cold winter night casts a spell over the ticking clock, trying to make every minute last a year, but the sands of time must trickle. Morning will come, but before that, at least one more kiss can be had. 

Chapter Text

“Bye, Tim,” Ari says, flicking her hands through Tim’s hair as she fades out in a soft explosion of stardust and light, returning to the Celestial Realm, “Stay safe!”

“Bye,” Tim calls, sliding her key back on his key ring, “I’ll try my best!”

“Aww, you’ve got a portable girlfriend,” Kon teases, pinching Tim’s cheeks.

Tim bites his hand. Kon pries his hand free from Tim’s jaws and stoops down, swiftly snagging Tim by the ankles and holding him up off the ground.

“Don’t bite,” Kon scolds, “Just because I tease you about your girlfriend doesn’t mean you can go around using those little chompers of yours on me.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Tim protests, wriggling around, “I’m her Key Holder, I can’t date my Spirits. And I bit you because you’re a prick.”

“Wait, wait, what does being a Key Holder have to do with dating,” Cassie interjects, confused.

“It’s against the Celestial Laws,” Tim explains.

“So,” Bart asks.

“I’m a Celestial Key Mage,” Tim says, “I’ve gotta listen to the Spirits’ Laws more than our own human ones.”

“You’re not a spirit though,” Kon points out, “You’re still a human.”

“Oh,” Tim realizes, “You…none of you really know how it works for us Key Mages, huh?”

That makes sense. Celestial Key Mages aren’t…exactly well-researched. Kon lets Tim down and Tim pulls his grimoire out of his backpack, unlocking it quickly and flipping to the center of the book. 

“So,” Tim starts once his friends have gathered, “For us Key Mages, we form contracts with our spirits, right? Once we form a contract, we are in official contact with the Celestial Realm. Spirits have their own rights, and since we’re contracting them, we can’t deny them their rights. That’s a crime in the Celestial Realm. So, a part of being an official Key Mage who takes power from the spirits and the Celestial Realm is obeying their laws. Does that make sense?”

“So…you’re kind of a part of the Celestial Realm yourself,” Cissie asks.

“Yeah, kinda,” Tim replies, “I’ve never been there. I don’t even know if I can go there.”

“They’ve got a whole world apart from ours,” Anita mutters, “Damn…imagine what a star world would look like.”

“So, dating a spirit is considered bad,” S’lobo interrupts, squinting.

Tim nods. “We cannot abuse our positions of power over our spirits, and dating is included in that. It’d be like a boss dating their personal assistant and the assistant only accepting because they don’t wanna lose their job. So, a Key Mage can’t date their keys. They can’t kiss them or harass them in any way, and a spirit has every right to terminate their contract with their key holder if they feel like they need to. I’d hate to have any of them leave me.”

Truthfully, Tim’s spirits are more like family than anything else. Ives has been with him the longest, but Callie, Ari, Hudson, and Hudman came to Tim soon after. He loves them. He grew up with them. They mean too much to Tim for him to ever risk losing a contract with one of his spirits. Tim will never fall in love with one of his Celestial Spirits. 

Chapter Text

“Hey, didn’t you know Tim’s mom,” DIck asks, hanging upside down on the bars.

Bruce sighs as he closes down the case notes he had been working on. Jason’s doing gear maintenance in the far corner, but he’s got his head tilted in a way that Bruce knows that it means he’s listening. 

“Somewhat,” Bruce admits, “Not very well.”

“You did,” Damian interrupts, his brows furrowing, “Why?”

“Her mother was an apothecary who my mother used to go to for her perfumes,” Bruce explains, “And Janet was…well, there. I went to her father’s funeral. Why are you asking?”

“I was looking for something in the attic,” Dick says, unhooking a leg from the bar and swinging leisurely from his other leg, “Came across his mom’s portrait. She looks exactly like Tim, so I was just curious. Kinda wanted to know what kind of person could make Tim since he's so....himself.”

“Ah,” Bruce mutters, “Well…Janet was…a lot like Tim.”

“So the, uh,  everything about Tim is all from the maternal side,” Jason surprisingly adds on.

“Well…sort of,” Bruce says, “He really is a lot like her. Clever, conniving. She was an incredibly intelligent person, and she was also very…sharp. She was also very…hm…beautiful.”

Various things happen at once. Dick topples backwards and lands flat on his face on the mat under the bars, Jason jams a screwdriver into a part of his helmet and sends the feedback screeching throughout the Cave, and Damian trips over his own foot as he moves through a series of warm-up stretches, stumbling forward.

“What,” Dick coughs out.

“What,” Bruce echoes in confusion, “What is ‘what’?”

“Did you just call Tim’s mom, who is as dead as a fuckend doornail, hot,” Jason wheezes.

“I never said that,” Bruce immediately defends himself.

“You never actually call someone who isn’t Talia or Selina beautiful,” Dick points out, “Even then, you kinda dance around it in a really weird, fucked up way and when you go out on one of your vapid little dates as Brucie Wayne, you never outright say ‘beautiful’.”

Damian’s glare is a combination of horror and disgust.

“Why don’t you call my mother beautiful,” he demands.

“She is,” Bruce placates.

“I know she is, Father, but why don’t you ever say so,” Damian snaps.

“We have…a different way of communicating,” Bruce haltingly replies, and leaves it at that.

“Bruce,” Jason says with a grave air, “Did you bang Tim’s mom?”

“Holy crap, do we need to run a paternity test,” Dick whispers in a strangled voice.

“I assure you,” Tim’s voice cuts in as Damian’s face scrunches into a furious scowl, “That Bruce Wayne is not the father. And thank God for that.”

Tim slinks around the corner, fidgeting with a flash drive. 

“We should still double check,” Dick insists.

“No, I’m very certain,” Tim replies with amusement, “He was too scared of my mom to get near her, never mind have any relationship with her. He’s only calling her beautiful because he doesn’t want to admit she could scare him with a look.”

“She was a terror,” Bruce admits as Tim drops the thumb drive in his palm, “And you…”

“I bully you because you need it,” Tim dismisses, “Besides, if Bruce had tried, Damian wouldn’t be here.”

“I’d have never been able to reproduce,” Bruce agrees, “I’d be…lacking.”

“She’d have chopped it up into tiny little pieces and fed it to you,” Tim says brightly, “Also, Jason, don’t ever talk about my mom like that again or I’ll be turning you into mulch for Ivy. Bye!”

And just like that, Tim’s off and away. Bruce shakes his head. 

“Tim’s just like her. An absolute terror.”

Chapter Text

“So,” Tim starts and Bruce grimaces, containing a flinch at the tiny 14 year old’s tone, “You didn’t look at the papers on the table and you just signed them in…bright orange pen?”

“....Yes,” Bruce admits.

The homework that Tim had just completed bears a bright orange signature in Bruce’s handwriting, covering up all of the equations. 

“That’s not good practice,” Tim chastises, “You need to look at what you’re signing. What if it had been some kind of proposal that would slash the lowest workers’ wages in half? What if it had been some kind of offer that gives away all of your shares to someone with bad intentions? What if you’d signed something that sold your soul to some kind of evil spirit?”

That last one sounds a bit too ridiculous to Bruce, but Bruce can’t really bring himself to say that. 

“Bruce, Bruce, are you listening to me? I can tell you’re not listening to me,” Tim huffs irritably, “I’m not mad about you ruining my worksheets so I have to copy them down again and also copy down the sheet where I showed my work and have it done before its due. I’m just…I think you need to be more careful. You should work on that.”

Tim collects his papers and shoots a deeply disappointed look at Bruce, shaking his head. It feels like a slap. 

Bruce is deeply aware that he’s bad at apologizing (he isn’t quite so aware that he’s absolutely horrendous at pinpointing when he should apologize and what he should apologize for) but he feels like this warrants some kind of action. The thing is, it’s quite hard to placate Tim. He hardly ever takes Bruce’s words at face value, at least not when it’s unrelated to vigilantism. Tim doesn’t particularly enjoy adults initiating physical contact with him, and Bruce is uncomfortable with doing so anyway. So. He’s got quite the dilemma. Bruce goes to seek Alfred out, only to stumble upon him in the kitchen with Tim.

“Is that to your taste,” Alfred asks, smoothing back TIm’s downy hair from his forehead.

There’s flecks of chocolate on Tim’s cheeks, and his previously imperious expression had warmed and softened into something much more childish and delighted.

“It’s the best,” Tim says, covering his mouth with a hand, “What is it?”

“Cannoli,” Alfred answers, “Someone I know in Bristol calls me when he has these in stock at his bakery.”

It might be a long shot…but Bruce figures that he’s faced far worse odds. Bruce finds a bakery that sells tiny little palm-sized custard tarts topped with tiny slices of fresh fruit and leaves them for Tim to find. Each little tart is eaten with joy and Bruce makes a note. Tim has a sweet tooth.

It’s not a technique Bruce can use for each minor incident. It requires spacing out, and quite frankly, the fact that Tim seems to enjoy sweet things slips Bruce’s mind constantly. He only ever finds himself able to remember when Tim’s particularly mad at him over something that’s a bit more severe than a mis-timed patrol request. The time Bruce had scratched the side of the Red Bird had gotten Tim a full week of sweet treats and Bruce still found that he had to upgrade the Red Bird to earn Tim’s full forgiveness. 

“Bruce,” Tim snaps, and he’s a bit taller than he had been at 14, but he’s still one of the smallest of Bruce’s children, “Did you forget something?”

Bruce winces. “Did I not send in the paperwork?”

Tim’s coldly apprasing gaze says everything. “You sent it. Unsigned, unchecked, the folder hadn’t even been opened. You dropped it back on my desk without even giving it a glance. So. Thank you for that. I should just go to Lucius again. He actually gets work done, and he’s cool.”

Tim marches off, deeply irritated. It’s been a while since Bruce has tried to cool Tim’s head with something sweet so maybe…?

“What’s all this,” Dick asks when he sees Bruce setting up a small card beside a large platter of chocolate chip cookies.

“I made Tim mad,” Bruce grunts.

This provides 0 explanations for Dick. He’s only further confused when Tim walks in, snatches up the plate, and hollers, “I’m still not happy!”

Tim leaves, and Dick…understands nothing. 

Chapter Text

Silence. That’s what Jason wants. To be specific, he wants silence from his mind. He wants the constant, malignant howling to stop and allow him to be at peace. Jason hasn’t known peace in years…except for that one brief moment months ago. When Tim had waited for them to find him, singing on the rocks while basking in the sun, the target of the whole bust heaped on the mossy wet rocks beside Tim. Tim hadn’t bothered to come to them, no he’d waited for them, uncaring if they found him with a fishtail or sharp teeth. It had not been the glittering scales, the frilly fins, or the long hair that had piqued Jason’s interest, but the immediate soothing of his mind. Jason had forgotten what it’d been like to have a quiet mind, and the silence in his head had felt like taking a metal pipe to the chest. And all too soon, it’d been ripped away from him, dissipating with the fading of Tim’s song that had echoed out over open ocean, rippling with the push-pull of the waves slapping against the rock.

That’d been the only taste of sirensong that Jason had been allowed, and Tim’s watered down, pearl-dampened song couldn’t bring that sweet peace he’d been granted. The memory haunted Jason’s dreams, dangling just out of reach, like Jason was Tantalus and his peace danced just beyond his fingertips, eluding him. Jason was a starving man, and he could only find relief with that soothing sirensong filling his mind. 

He can hear it, just beyond the doors. Jason knows Tim was in the pool, and the sound of Tim’s song carries. The faint echo of it, and it set Jason’s nerves on fire. He needs it. He needs it like medicine, like life-saving treatment, like food or water or air. Just a few notes is all Jason needs, he doesn’t need any more than that. Jason presses closer against the doors, wood cool and smooth under his skin. Jason’s ears strain desperately. The doors muffle the sound, far too much in Jason’s opinion, keeping him from hearing the fullness of the melody echoing against the walls and the water. Jason can’t stand it, his mind screams all the time and his emotions overflow.

Jason just wants to feel calm for one minute, in a way he’s never felt in his entire life. A silent mind, a body that doesn’t hunger for violence and the crunch of bones under his fists. That is all Jason wants. The door shudders open as Jason pushes, and he vaguely registers the snapping of metal as the lock gives way. 

Claws and teeth glint under the fluorescent lights, the same lights that draw harshly against the pink-gold of Tim’s scales. Tim’s song, like a bird shot out of the sky, falls. It’s silent.

“Sing,” Jason says, “Keep singing.”

“Why are you in here,” Tim asks, the faint impression of a song carrying along the edges of his voice.

“Just sing,” Jason repeats himself, “Pretend I’m not here.”

“No,” Tim retorts, “Go away.”

“Don’t be shy,” Jason teases, though his fists clench in frustration, "I won't make fun of you.”

“Leave me alone,” Tim hisses, “You’re not supposed to be in here.”

“Hoarding your song all for yourself, huh,” Jason tries to joke, but his jaw is twitching in frustration. 

“It’s not hoarding if it’s my voice,” Tim snaps, “Now go away. It’s not safe for you to be here.”

Jason just approaches the side of the pool, sitting down at the edge. He grins at Tim, waiting for him to continue. If he hadn’t been so focused on soothing his mind, if he hadn’t been fixated on getting to hear that song just a little bit, he’d have realized that fucking with a creature who can manipulate you with just a tune is a magnanimously bad idea.

“It’s a song you want, then,” Tim trills, his lips curling back off his sharp, flesh-rending teeth, “Fine. Have it.”

This song is not sweet and gentle like a lullaby luring him into a soft sleep. No, this song wants to drag Jason into the depths. It’s powerful, some type of horrid seduction by death itself. Jason is powerless to resist, and he slips into the water. Underwater, the sound strengthens, reverberating through his marrow and nerves. Jason’s been set on fire by it. Closer, closer, his body insists, he can get closer to the song. If he gets closer, he can bottle it. Yes, Jason wants to bottle it. He wants to put it in a brass cage and hide it away. Jar it up, like sweet honey.

Jason doesn’t realize that slowly, his breath is running out. He will not surface for air, no. He will breathe in the water from the pool, pale eyes watching him as he reaches out. The song dies, and with the fading, Jason starts to cough and choke on the water. It’s filling his lungs, it’s killing him.

There’s a hand on the back of his shirt, and all he can see in front of him is sharp teeth and glittering scales, as beautiful and vicious as ever. He lays on the side of the pool, spewing water from his mouth while Bruce stares in horror. Tim rests his head on the edge of the pool, tail swishing behind him. 

“Jason,” Tim croons, “Should I sing again?”

Chapter Text

Tattoo 1. The Tummy Tat

this tattoo is the largest i think. it goes underneath his bellybutton and sits just above his hipbones, extends nearly from one of his hipbones to the other hipbone. i think its called a pelvic girdle?? he gets this one because he can and its fucking cool. it makes him feel cool and pretty

what i had in mind was a crescent moon tattoo, the points facing upwards while the moon lies so the curved part is down. it has long, thin rays of the sun coming off it, extending slightly outward and up but not past his bellybutton, with like,,, little diamonds and stars on the end of thin  'chains' dripping downwards a bit and hanging off the curve of the crescent moon. on the crescent moon itself, theres kinda like,,twisty, curling vine designs. its just done in classic black ink, no watercolor ink or anything. tim loves to stare at it because its so pretty. its usually covered up by his pants since its under his belly button and he is rarely in a state of undress, especially around other people, that would show off his tattoo.

Tattoo 2, electric boogaloo. side of the thigh

on the outside of his upper left thigh-hip area, he has a scattering of peach blossoms. these blossoms are about nickel sized. theyre meant to represent his yj friends. theres a blossom for each, greta, anita, cissie, slobo, lil lobo, cassie, bart, kon. these are done in soft peach-pink ink, with tiny hints of very faint yellow and a slightly darker outline to the petals. again, rarely seen because he is never really caught in being a state where he would be showing off the tattoos, not around large amounts of people.

Tattoo 3. right shoulder blade

he has tiny little birds, classic black ink. they are little ravens, no bigger than a dime. they go along the bottom of his left shoulder blade, sort of flying up in a little curve. theres a bird for cass, babs, helena, dick, his mom, and dana. they are his family birds. he got a bird for each cherished member of his family, even if they arent legally his family. he adds whoever he considers his family. these usually arent seen unless hes wearing something like a backless halter top or a very very thin t shirt. 

Tattoo 4. the collarbone