Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

4/29, Friday 

“Cognitions”

Chat:Chat

Members: Ren, Ryuji, Ann, Shiho

Ryuji: ya know im prolly gonna regret askin but

Ryuji: why didnt that bastard have a contagion or however the eff you say that of me?

Shiho: You mean like… why didn’t we see a cognitive Ryuji inside of the Palace?

Ryuji: ye

Ren: Morgana says it’s likely because he thought so little of you that you weren’t even a blip on his radar

Ren: Essentially he believed you were already crushed and dead

Ryuji: effin asshole

Ann: Trust me, you’re better off not having seen a cognition of yourself in there…

Ren: Yeah…

Shiho: Definitely

Ryuji: I know that! it sucked havin to see all of ur contagion things

Ann: COGNITIVE

Ryuji: whatever! ya know what I mean!!

Shiho: No no, Uji-kun has a point, seeing those things certainly made me feel sick

Ryuji: huh?

Ann: What does that mean?

Shiho: sigh

Ren: I understood it Shiho

Shiho: Thank you Ren! :D 

Ryuji: the eff are you guys talkin bout?

Ren: Morgana says “how you need to study more”

Shiho: RIP

Ryuji: mona you go study!!

—

5/1, Sunday

“The Other Side”

Chat:Middle School Gang

Members: Ryuji, Ann, Shiho

Ryuji: YOOO YOOO YOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shiho: Use your words Uji, you’re a big boy

Ryuji: YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Ann: That Ren kissed you?~

Ryuji: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!

Shiho: We were having girl talk with her of course!

Ann: We also know that you 2 are dating now~

Ryuji: I CANT BELIEVE IT

Ryuji: BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!

Shiho: Are you so excited that you’re stuck on caps lock?

Ryuji: I THINK SO BUT IDC CUZ I GOT A GF!!!!!!

Ann: Just so you know Ryuji!

Shiho: If you break her heart?

Ann: We will absolutely end you

Ryuji: I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO HER!!

Shiho: Good, that means you can live

Shiho: For now

—

5/7, Saturday

“A Nickname for Shiho”

Chat:Middle School Gang

Members: Ryuji, Ann, Shiho

Shiho changed Ryuji’s nickname to Uji-kun

Shiho changed Ann’s nickname to Taka-chan

Shiho: You know, now that I’m thinking about it, why didn’t I ever have a nickname in middle school?

Uji-kun: cuz i got 2

Taka-chan: I don’t think that’s how it works

Shiho: You had two?

Uji-kun: ann used to call me saka-kun

Shiho: Oh yeah, so it was Saka-kun and Taka-chan?

Shiho: You 2 are god damn adorable you know that?

Shiho changed Uji-kun’s nickname to Saka-kun

Shiho: But why didn’t I get one?!

Taka-chan: Your name is a lot harder to make a good nickname for

Saka-kun: plus ann and me only did cause we got long last names

Saka-kun: u got a short one

Shiho: Laaaaaame

Taka-chan: What would it even be?

Taka-chan: Suzui IS already a short name

Saka-kun: su-chan?

Shiho changed nickname to Su-chan

Su-chan: I like it!

Taka-chan: Well that was easy

Su-chan: I’m easy to please :3 I just wanted to be included

—

5/8, Sunday

“Feline Friend”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie

Skull: ya know ive been kinda wonderin bout somethin

Skull: ren? hows it livin with mona?

Joker: It’s not bad at all, he mostly takes care of himself after all

Valkyrie: How is it that he ended up living with you?

Joker: Well Ann and Ryuji weren’t offering to house him and I didn’t want him living on the school roof forever

Valkyrie: So he just kind of ended up with you by default?

Joker: More or less

Panther: Hey to be fair you just took him home one day, it’s not like we discussed it or anything

Joker: Is that you offering him to take him off my hands?

Panther: Don’t say things like that! I know you like having Morgana with you!

Joker: You’re right, I do

Joker: Mona says “Awwww”

Valkyrie: You know, thinking about it… Leblanc doesn’t have a litter box…

Skull: holy shit ur right

Skull: where does mona use the bathroom?

Joker: Idk

Skull: for real?!

Joker: You wanna ask him about his bathroom habits? Be my guest

Skull: ok then

Skull: mona? where do you shit?

Panther: OMG RYUJI

Panther: GROSS!!

Valkyrie: lmao

Joker: Mona says “This is why I didn’t want to live with you”

Skull: u wouldnt be able to live with me anyway! my apartment doesnt allow pets!

Joker: Mona says “I AM NOT A PET!”

Panther: But you would be considered one by landlords

Valkyrie: Mona isn’t a pet! He’s our feline friend :3 

Joker: Mona says “I’M NOT A FELINE EITHER!”

Valkyrie: Feline-ish friend?

Joker: Mona just grumbled but didn’t actually say any words

Panther: So is that a yes?

Skull: hes our team not-cat

Joker: Mona says “That’s a good one for once, I’m impressed Ryuji”

Skull: didya have to add in the ‘for once’ part?

Joker: Mona says “Yes”

—

5/10, Tuesday

“The Smell of Rebellion”

Chat:Girls ONLY

Members: Ann, Shiho, Ren

Ann: So I know we got exams starting tomorrow but I just can’t get something off my mind

Ren: What’s up?

Ann: Does Ryuji still stink?

Ren: …

Ren: Huh?

Ann: Like, does he physically stink, BO? That kinda thing

Ann: He always used to smell horrendous in middle school

Shiho: lol

Ann: Am I wrong?

Shiho: Not really but like… you just messaged Ren “hey, does your boyfriend still smell like ass?”

Ann: It’s an important question!!!

Shiho: You’re just trying to find a way to not have to study for exams

Ann: …

Shiho: Caught ya ;D

Ren: He doesn’t really stink, no, he always smells fine around me

Ann: Well THAT’S a relief, at least he’s started to shower

Shiho: In a way isn’t that less rebellious?

Ren: what?

Shiho: Wouldn’t the smell of rebellion be BO? You know, rebelling against the tyranny of the soap industry?

Ren: Are you saying he should smell bad?

Shiho: I am just pointing out that he no longer smells like rebellious ass

Ann: Shiho are you just trying to gross me out so I stop texting and start studying?

Shiho: Is it working?

Ann: A little bit…

Shiho: Good!

Shiho: The smell of rebellion would be the equivalent of how we must smell after a long day of fighting in the Metaverse with our warm thief suits on

Ann: uuuggghhhh fine, I’ll go study

Shiho: love youuuuu <3

Ann: …

Ann: <3

Ren: Shiho wtf

Shiho: Ann hates smelly things, it’s a big weakness

Ren: …noted

—

5/16, Monday

“Hobby Required”

DM:Niijima

Ren: So now that exams are over, I have a few hobby recommendations for you!

Niijima: Oh, that was serious? I assumed you were joking

Ren: I mean, I was but like…

Ren: You DO need a hobby other than studying

Niijima: I see, alright then

Ren: OK, number 1. Reading, it’s sorta like studying! But fun

Niijima: I do plenty of reading when I study though

Ren: Yeah but those aren’t fun books

Niijima: I find them rather intriguing personally

Ren: Hm… fine

Ren: number 2. Video games, you may think “mindless drivel” but not at all! Many video games require a rather large amount of thought!

Niijima: I don’t have any video games though

Ren: You could always try an arcade?

Niijima: Hm

Ren: We could go together if that would make things easier?

Niijima: …Maybe sometime

Ren: That’s a start!

Ren: number 3. Art, I’ve just been dealing with a lot of art stuff lately so that’s kind of on my brain, painting could be fun though?

Niijima: I don’t know about creating my own art, but seeing other people’s art could be rather enjoyable

Ren: Better than nothing!

Ren: That’s all I got for ya this time though

Ren: I’ll find a hobby for you yet!

Niijima: Really that isn’t necessary Amamiya-san

Ren: I insist! :P

—

5/20, Friday

“Maid Misunderstanding”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie

Joker: Weird question, what do you all know about maid services?

Valkyrie: Didn’t picture you as the type to want to be a maid Ren

Joker: aidvgrfjadsk

Joker: I’M NOT SIGNING UP TO BE A MAID!!!

Panther: Pretty sure you wouldn’t even be allowed to anyway, you’re a high schooler

Joker: I WASN’T PLANNING ON IT!!

Valkyrie: Are you sure? I think you’d look rather cute in a maid dress

Joker: edusfv8fcdsa

Valkyrie: You could be all cute and if you do a good job your master can pet your head and call you a good girl

Joker: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Panther: And you broke her again

Valkyrie: I win! :D What’s my prize?

Panther: Joker as a maid?

Valkyrie: YAY!

Joker: I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE

Joker: STOP

Panther: There there~

Panther: Just be a good girl and accept our praise :D

Joker: vfdg

Valkyrie: You know, this is certainly a topic I expected Uji to jump in on

Panther: Where is Ryuji? :o 

Skull: sorry! i uh got distracted

Valkyrie: You were thinking about Ren in a maid dress weren’t you?

Skull: …

Skull: maybe

Panther: We should get her a maid dress for Halloween! :O 

Joker: ths i mona ren is n grond gooood job

Skull: the eff?

Valkyrie: I believe that says… “This is Mona, Ren is on the ground, good job”

Panther: I guess we all win today :P

Skull: mona make sure shes alright

Joker: se alrght jst red

Valkyrie: “She’s alright, just red”?

Joker: ye

—

5/25, Wednesday

“What’s in a Name?”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox

Fox: I must confess something

Fox: While I understand the logic behind my codename

Fox: As well as Ryuji’s and Ann’s codenames, what is the reasoning behind Morgana’s, Ren’s and Shiho’s?

Panther: I just sorta thought Mona sounded like a cute nickname for Morgana

Skull: mona said joker was because shes our trump card or somethin? i dont really get it

Valkyrie: I picked Valkyrie myself because I felt like a Valkyrie

Fox: What is the reasoning for that if I may ask?

Valkyrie: Well, my Persona has wings and I wield a spear, plus I have armor on my Thief suit

Valkyrie: Valkyrie’s in norse mythology were female warriors that had wings and wielded spears

Valkyrie: I assume you can put 2 and 2 together there

Joker: You sure put a lot of thought into it

Valkyrie: Not really, as a kid I always wanted to be a Valkyrie so I assume that’s why my image of rebellion looks like one

Skull: damn, we kinda just went off of our appearances… 

Skull: we dont got any backstory for our codenames

Joker: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, I like our codenames

Fox: Indeed, they are still rather fitting for each of you

Fox: Skulls are common symbols utilized by pirates and thugs in media, which is fitting for your Persona and your general motif

Fox: Panther’s costume has a tail and cat ears in it’s design, which is as good a reason as any for a codename

Fox: I noticed during our battle, after my awakening, that Joker wears a mischievous grin while in combat, which is rather fitting given her name

Panther: I think our codenames are pretty badass!

Skull: ya know? fox is right! our names are pretty cool!!

Chapter Text

6/4, Saturday

“Boundless Art”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox

Skull: ya know, ive been kinda wonderin

Skull: just how many paintins DO you have yusuke?

Fox: Do you mean ‘how many paintings have I finished?’ or ‘how many paintings am I working on?’

Skull: uhhh… both

Fox: Well I’m afraid I honestly have no clue about the former, but for the latter I tend to work on roughly 10-12 paintings at once

Skull: wtf

Panther: WHY

Fox: I cannot control when inspiration hits nor what I am feeling inspired to paint in particular

Valkyrie: How do you buy all of those canvases?!

Fox: The bulk of my money goes into art supplies, lately I have been having to scrounge up whatever meager funds I can to afford enough canvases

Joker: Where do you keep all of them?

Fox: My room in the Kosei dorms has ample enough room, here, take a look

Fox sent an image

Skull: dude…

Panther: I thought my room was messy

Valkyrie: Do you have room to walk around in there?!

Fox: Lately I have been having to tiptoe around the stacks of art, but it is alright

Joker: Is it though?

Valkyrie: It’s like an ocean of paintings!

Fox: That would make a rather fine title for a painting

Panther: I… don’t think that was the point of what she said

—

6/18, Saturday

“Nice Bike”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox

Skull: ya know, I know we dont really like her but

Skull: prez’s persona is kinda awesome

Fox: Quite, it was a rather surprising thing to witness

Valkyrie: How come her Persona is a vehicle though???

Joker: Mona says “I have no idea why Personas are shaped the way they are”

Skull: i kinda wish Kidd was shaped like a bike

Panther: Pretty sure you’d crash in like every single fight

Skull: would not!!!

Valkyrie: You should prove it by driving the Mona-bus sometime :P 

Joker: Mona says “NNNOOOOO!!!!”

Fox: Ryuji, your Persona is already on a boat, if you need to ride something why not ride the boat with him?

Skull: thats totally not the same dude! plus it aint like i get to drive the boat! Kidd does that himself

20 minutes later

Skull: how do you get your persona to shut the eff up? Kidd keeps yellin at me now

Valkyrie: lmao maybe you shouldn’t have wished he looked different

Panther: You DID kinda earn this scolding

Skull: shuddup! ur just as bad as he is!

Fox: Truly this can only be karma

Skull: uggghhhhhh

—

6/19, Sunday

“Someone Must Care for the Boy”

Chat:Feed the Fox

Ann created chat

Ann renamed chat to Feed the Fox

Ann added Ren, Shiho, Ryuji

Ann: Here we are! This is our official group chat where we make sure that Yusuke actually eats!

Shiho: That’s a good idea honestly

Ryuji: how does he go so long without eatin? i dont get it at all

Ren: He’s probably stuck in the mindset of not having food due to how long Madarame was starving him…

Ryuji: dammit

Ann: And that’s exactly why we’re going to make sure he gets better!

Ann: I was thinking we should each more or less pick a type of support we offer

Ann: You know, some of us just remind him to eat sometimes, some of us get food with him, some of us cook for him, that sorta thing

Ren: I can cook for him pretty regularly, Boss is teaching me a bit

Ann changed Ren’s nickname to Head Chef

Ann: Noted!

Ryuji: i can always go get food with him sometimes, i like gettin food with people

Ann changed Ryuji’s nickname to Ramen

Ann: Alright!

Ramen: you just made my name ramen

Ann: We both know that’ll be the food you get with him like 9 times out of 10

Ramen: fair

Shiho: I can assume the duties of reminding him to eat pretty regularly

Ann changed Shiho’s nickname to Alarm Clock

Ann: And there we are!

Ann changed nickname to Coordinator

Coordinator: Now it’s important that we don’t become overbearing! Don’t pester him constantly or else that’ll just annoy him

Head Chef: Makes sense

Alarm Clock: But we also can’t be too lax or else he’ll go hungry, so we’ll work on finding a medium, right?

Coordinator: Yup! Good job babe! :D

Ramen: so whos startin first?

Alarm Clock: I’ll remind him to eat today, give him some money if needed and then we can go from there

Coordinator: Awesome! Let’s do this guys! Let’s keep our precious art boy from starving!

—

6/29, Wednesday

“Girls Only Means Girls ONLY”

Chat:Girls ONLY

Members: Ann, Shiho, Ren

Ann added Makoto

Ann: And this is our chat where we talk about stuff we don’t want the boys seeing!

Makoto: I gathered as much from the chat title

Ren: They made that the chat title to tease me when I was feeling dysphoric

Ann: It’s also because only girls are allowed in this chat!!

Shiho: Which definitely includes our lovely girly Ren!~

Ren: sdovoeofivf

Makoto: The logic does track, you are a girl and this is the girl’s chat

Ren: Not you to Makotoooooo!

Ann: YES! More people know how much of a girl she is!!

Ren: :T

Shiho: :o a rare Ren emoticon!

Ren: Mona says “she’s being all pouty now”

Ann: Wait Morgana reads this chat?!

Ren: He reads any text that shows up on my phone while he’s on my shoulder

Shiho: wtf but the RULES OF THIS CHAT!!! D:

Ann: It’s girls ONLY!! >:(

Ann: Mona no reading this chat!!

Makoto: Is this the only area where the Phantom Thieves take the rules seriously?

Ren: Apparently

Shiho: Yes! :P we take only our self imposed rules seriously!!

Ren: Mona says “I won’t read the girls chat”

Ann: GOOD

—

7/4, Monday

“This One’s for the Boys”

Chat:Boy’s Club

Ryuji created chat

Ryuji renamed chat to Boy’s Club

Ryuji added Yusuke

Ryuji added Mishima

Ryuji: yoooo we finally got enough dudes for our own chat!

Mishima: Boy’s Club?

Ryuji: ya know, for like guy stuff n shit

Mishima: I… think I get it?

Yusuke: A novel idea, what shall we discuss in a space meant only for those aligned with the masculine identity?

Ryuji: wut

Mishima: I think he’s trying to ask ‘what do we talk about in the guy’s chat’???

Yusuke: That is correct

Ryuji: oh y didnt u just say that?

Ryuji: idunno tho, just whatever we want i guess

Ryuji: i know the girls have their own chat so i thought we needed one of our own

Yusuke: I believe that stereotypically women are amongst the topics discussed in men only spaces, which I find to be rather ironic in a way

Ryuji: true! ok mishima! who do you like?

Mishima: WHAT?!

Ryuji: ya know… like, whos ur crush n stuff

Mishima: You just assume there is one?

Ryuji: dude, ur not very subtle

Mishima: HUH?!

Ryuji: i know ya like renren at least, prolly shiho too

Mishima: WHAT?! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA?!

Yusuke: I was under the impression it was obvious

Mishima: I swear I don’t mean anything by it Sakamoto! I know Amamiya is with you!

Mishima left the chat

Ryuji: wow

Yusuke: How unfortunate

Ryuji: i didnt even get to tell ‘im that i dont mind if he likes her

Yusuke: Indeed, perhaps you should message him personally?

Ryuji added Mishima

Ryuji: chill dude i aint gonna be pissed at ya

Ryuji: im into her too

Mishima: I

Mishima: Don’t know what to say to that

Yusuke: I am also quite enamored by her beauty

Mishima: Can we just change the subject???

Yusuke: I also find Ann and Shiho to both be rather beautiful as well

Mishima: Not helping…

Ryuji: well ur not wrong yusuke! all 3 of em are amazin!

Yusuke: There is beauty in Ryuji as well

Ryuji: HUH?!

Yusuke: Hm?

Ryuji: the hell do ya mean by that?!

Yusuke: I admire you greatly, you are a brave soul who offered me friendship and wisdom in a time that I was in dire need of both

Mishima: Wow

Mishima: That was a serious reversal…

Yusuke: I’m afraid I do not understand the confusion?

Yusuke: Would you like me to clarify further, Ryuji?

Mishima: He went offline

Yusuke: Ah, a shame

—

7/6, Wednesday

“The Chariot”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Admin: So I’ve been kind of wondering, how did I get home after my Awakening???

Skull: wait for real? u dont remember???

Admin: Nooo?

Skull: brooooo

Panther: Do we even want to know?

Skull: we talked for like an hour dude!

Admin: We did?

Skull: yeah man! i got you back to your place and u started talkin bout the video games you were into n stuff

Fox: Ah so it was Skull who got him home

Skull: yeh turns out we live in the same apartment building

Admin: We do?!

Skull: man u really dont remember shit

Panther: He WAS unconscious after both an Awakening and healing from broken ribs

Skull: still, thought he woulda remembered somethin

Valkyrie: Skull is our official taxi service! He carries everyone home when they’re too tired to walk :3

Panther: Truuueee!!!

Joker: That’s why he’s the chariot arcana…

Queen: Who else has he carried?

Skull: renren

Panther: Ren

Valkyrie: Ren

Joker: Damn, all three of you said it at the same time

Panther: How could we forget? You looked so cute on Ryuji’s back!!!

Joker: werfvfsrorie

Fox: I still would rather like to paint Ryuji carrying you one of these days

Joker: :T

Panther: No pouting! Or else I’ll pinch your cutie little cheeks! :P

Joker: >:T

Valkyrie: Awwww

Admin: I can see how red her face is from across class…

—

7/9, Saturday

“Good Boobs”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Valkyrie: Ya know I meant to ask before, what costumes did all of you wear to spread the Calling Cards around???

Panther sent (4) images

Panther: There you go!

Valkyrie: Oh, sweet, thanks babe

Panther: muah <3

Valkyrie: muah <3

Skull: yall are gay as eff

Panther: So are you!

Valkyrie: lmao also Yusuke kinda rocks that outfit!

Fox: Thank you, it was not really my style but I found it to be rather interesting

Queen: I quite liked the look of your outfit Yusuke

Joker: I like how Makoto’s looked

Queen: It wasn’t exactly my style, a bit too girly but not bad

Valkyrie: It was perfectly girly for a girl like Ren!~

Joker: dasfvfwe2

Panther: Honestly Yuuki’s was my favorite!!

Panther: He looked so cute in girl’s clothes!

Admin: I

Skull: is he frozen again?

Joker: Yeah, Kawakami just asked him a question and he hasn’t responded

Valkyrie: RIP

Fox: How unfortunate

Queen: That does remind me… we shouldn’t be texting in class like this

Panther: We literally do it all the time thooooo

Valkyrie: You won’t be able to stop us mom!!!

Joker: Honestly, that was really brave of him, it took me until moving here to be brave enough to wear girl’s clothes in public…

Panther: But you’re like… so obviously girly :o I can’t imagine you’d look any less like a girl in boy’s clothes

Joker: asdfgrreffd

Joker: I assure you I can still pass as a boy

Skull: but u got boobs

Joker: SDFGBIOEFJDSFGBERFWFDSFIDSV JKL

Valkyrie: lmao

Valkyrie: He’s got you there babe

Panther: Good boobs as a matter of fact!

Joker: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Joker: STOOOPPPP

Fox: I must agree with the others, the shape and curvature of your chest is exceedingly feminine and as such would make it hard to resemble a boy

Joker: adsvrefroiv

Panther: She shut her phone off so we don’t make her fall over :P

Queen: You should really pay attention in class…

—

7/10, Sunday

“Thinking About Girls”

DM:Shiho-babe <3

Ann: You will not believe what I just heard from Makoto!!

Shiho-babe <3: Do tell!

Ann: Apparently she’s been talking to this girl, and when she asked about Makoto’s friends she immediately was like

Ann: ‘Oh you’re dating this Ren girl, aren’t you?’

Shiho-babe <3: asdlfdjgrtefcsi

Shiho-babe <3: SO IT’S NOT JUST MY GAYDAR!

Ann: Hold on hold on there’s more!

Shiho-babe <3: YESSSS!!!

Ann: Yuuki and me were trying to figure just what in the world she could have said to make this girl think she was dating Ren

Ann: And she was like ‘I was just being honest, I said how great she was and that she had stunning eyes’

Shiho-babe <3: 3rewgddfsc

Shiho-babe <3: WHY WASN’T I THERE!!

Ann: You were busy today!!

Shiho-babe <3: True, I did have fun teasing Ren and my cousin :P

Shiho-babe <3: But still! Oh gosh, that’s so adorable!!!

Ann: I thought she was going to pass out while telling me lmao

Shiho-babe <3: I think her and Ren together could melt the ice caps :o

Ann: Or heat up an entire house to save money in the winter!

Shiho-babe <3: Ahhh pls tell me if she does anything else like that again I want to hear about it aaallllllll!!!! >w<

Ann: You know I will!

—

7/11, Monday

“Ol’ Reliable”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Valkyrie: Soooo, in our next heist who wants to be the bullet?

Admin: Huh???

Valkyrie: Both Madarame and Kaneshiro were beaten by flinging one of us at them like a bullet :P

Queen: Oh?

Panther: Well technically couldn’t you say Kaneshiro was beaten by Ryuji??

Skull: Hell yeah!!!

Valkyrie: Don’t take my thunder! D:

Joker: To explain what she was talking about, against Madarame I used the Mona-car to fling Yusuke at Madarame to finish the fight

Queen: I see, well, apparently it’s an effective and reliable move

Admin: I’d be afraid of faceplanting…

Panther: Don’t jinx it!!!

Valkyrie: I definitely was afraid of that happening ngl, Queen threw me so fast I didn’t know where I was at all

Queen: My apologies, I just simply wanted to ensure that we were hitting it as hard as possible, it was probably our only real shot

Valkyrie: It’s all good, I was mostly just impressed by your aim

Skull: we should throw me next!! ill slam into em!!

Fox: Skull would make a fine battering ram now that you mention it

Joker: I’d rather we hope for a more normal fight next time

Queen: Define ‘normal’

Queen: So far as I can tell we have yet to encounter a ‘normal’ fight in the Metaverse even a single time

Joker: Fair enough, but at least an enemy we can just attack normally would be nice honestly

Admin: It would be great if we could steal a Treasure without having to fight the Shadow at all…

Panther: We almost got away with it during our Madarame heist

Fox: Technically we did not, it was a trap

Panther: Oh yeah…

Joker: We’re not very good thieves when you put it that way…

Valkyrie: Sure we are! We just beat the shit out of people before we steal from them! :D

Fox: We commit assault and larceny, truly it is a thrilling way of life

Queen: I am not sure how I feel about the way you phrased that…

Chapter Text

7/15, Tuesday

“Team Mom”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Skull: ugghhh i hate exams so muuuch

Valkyrie: Whining won’t make you any better at them you know

Skull: yeh yeh

Skull: i just hate that im gonna make mom disappointed

Panther: Maybe you could try and study more? She wouldn’t be disappointed if you did better -_-;

Skull: that aint easy!!!

Queen: It is also important to make sure you get plenty of rest on exam nights, I’d recommend going to bed early tonight

Skull: uhhhh i cant do that

Queen: And why not?

Skull: a new game comes out at midnight and im hyped as hell for it!

Queen: …

Valkyrie: Uh oh

Fox: I sense a malicious energy coming from my phone

Joker: Now you did it, you unleashed her full power Student Council President form

Joker: Cower before her might

Skull: the eff??

Queen: Ryuji

Skull: yes???

Queen: You will be going to sleep early tonight

Skull: …

Queen: …

Admin: This is the weirdest standoff I’ve ever seen…

Valkyrie: Joker! Who’s your money on?

Joker: Queen

Panther: Damn, instant lock, she didn’t even think for a second

Skull: the hell?! you aint on my side?

Joker: Love you Ryuji but, if she glares at you? You’ll cave immediately

Panther: She just passed me in the hall as I was leaving class… the bell literally just rang idk how she even got out of her class that fast

Valkyrie: This is going to be a rest in peace Uji moment I think

Fox: I believe Shiho and Ryuji are in the same class, correct? Can you tell what’s going on?

Valkyrie: He caved the moment he made eye contact with her

Panther: wooooowwww

Joker: Called it

Skull: shuddup!!!

Admin: Queen is scary…

Valkyrie: She’s like a mom! Only scary when she knows you did something bad that you shouldn’t have done

Fox: Ah so that would be her familial role then

Queen: Not this again…

Valkyrie: Momkoto!!! :O

Panther: Yes!!!

Queen: Oh no

Fox: In a way this is karma for scolding Ryuji, is it not?

Queen: Fair enough I suppose…

Skull: haha!

Queen: …

Skull: Sorry ma’am

Valkyrie: Wow

Admin: He always puts his foot in his mouth, doesn’t he?

Joker: I believe you mean ‘Sorry Mom’

Valkyrie: sadevfouigre LMAO JOKER!

Queen: I…

Queen: I don’t even know what to say

—

7/19, Tuesday

“Silver Lining”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Panther: I know that the fireworks festival got rained out and was pretty disappointing buuuttttttttt

Panther sent (6) images

Panther: You’ve gotta admit we look pretty good in yukatas!

Valkyrie: Damn right we do, hot as always

Joker: You all looked good

Skull: u say that as if u didnt look hella cute too

Joker: asdffrfeerv9

Joker: I decline to comment

Queen: That’s essentially the same as admitting to it in this case

Joker: Don’t lawyer speak me

Panther: Reeennnn~

Valkyrie: I think she wants to be complimented, that’s why she refuted it, right?

Panther: I agree!

Joker: I’m turning my phone off

Admin: But Ann sits right in front of you… oh…

Fox: Oh?

Admin: Ann turned around in her seat immediately and started bombarding her with compliments

Valkyrie: She cannot escape the truth of how cute she is!

Queen: Those are rather nice pictures by the way, I’m quite happy with the yukata we found for Ren

Valkyrie: Because it’s cute on her right?~

Queen: Yes, it looks rather good on her

Valkyrie: :3c

Queen: ?

Fox: Truly you all were the embodiment of Japanese beauty, it would make a rather fine painting I believe

Skull: i still cant get over how normal yours looked on u dude

Fox: You have my thanks

Panther: Yusuke is a Japanese beauty!

Fox: You humble me with your kind words

Admin: He’s like the only one of us that doesn’t get flustered…

Valkyrie: A very Yusuke quality if I say so myself

Panther: I won btw! I got Ren to admit she looked cute in her yukata~

Fox: The truth has prevailed once again it seems

Joker: :T

—

7/19, Tuesday

“An Expected Unexpected Outcome”

Chat:Girls ONLY

Members: Ann, Shiho, Ren, Makoto

Ren: Ann…

Ann: Yeesssss?~

Ren: Why did you tell Yusuke to ask me out on a boat?

Ann: Because it’s a romantic idea!!

Ren: I fell into the lake…

Ann: Huh?!

Shiho: lmaooo

Shiho: Wish I could have seen it!

Makoto: That does seem to be a very Ren thing to do

Ann: You know… now that you mention it? Yeah, I should have seen that coming

Ann: That aside! What did you say?!?!

Ren: I said yes…

Shiho: I almost wish we would let Morgana read this chat so he could tell us how red she is right now

Makoto: I think it’s pretty obvious how strongly she’s blushing

Shiho: Fair enough :P

Ann: EEEEEEEEEEE!! I’m glad for you Ren!! You have 2 boyfriends now! :o You’ve grown up so fast!

Shiho: Our precious girl has so many suitors, I’m so proud ;~;

Ren: adsvrgrewfvbg dfdouifj

Makoto: If you would have asked me back in May if I thought the Phantom Thieves were a group of students that were mostly dating each other, I’d think you were crazy

Shiho: We just have a lot of love to give! <3

Makoto: Oh I didn’t mean it as a negative, I was just saying that it’s still rather surprising to see

Ann: Of course it’s not like there’s any pressure to be a part of our Phantom polycule :P Mona’s not a part of it after all and he’s a founding member!

Makoto: I appreciate the assurance, but I never believed anyone here would pressure me into doing something if I didn’t want to do it

Shiho: Good! That means we give good vibes :P

—

7/26, Tuesday

“How Deep Can Denial Go?”

DM:Ren

Makoto: Thanks again for agreeing to this ridiculous plan

Makoto: I believe the double date should be sometime soon, but I shall keep you up to date on the specific timing of it

Ren: Right, sure thing, it’s not a problem at all!

Makoto: You’re a very good friend

DM:Ann

Ren: Sooo you wouldn’t… hypothetically know anything about Makoto’s friend thinking she’s dating me… do you?

Ann: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ann: Did she tell you about that?!?!

Ren: Yes

Ann: OMG!!

Ann: Yes, I know all about it lmao

Ren: She… wants me to help her investigate her friend’s boyfriend… by pretending that we’re dating

Ann: esiodhjbgsrgiotefasusjpbg98ihjsroe

Ann: WHAT?!

Ren: Should I have said no? I agreed without really thinking about it but it’s cool, right?

Ann: ABSOLUTELY! PLEASE PRETEND TO DATE HER!!!

Ann: It can be practice!!

Ren: Practice???? For what?

Ann: Oh nothing~

DM:Shiho-babe <3

Ann: BABE!!! I’M GOING TO DDDIIIIIEEEEEEEE

Shiho-babe <3: Pls don’t die bb, what’s up?

Ann: Makoto and Ren are pretending to date for the sake of investigating her friend’s boyfriend

Shiho-babe <3: …

Shiho-babe <3: I’m going to die!

Ann: I know right?!?!

Ann: and I think Ren is totally oblivious to the fact that Makoto is a closeted girl-lover!

Shiho-babe <3: Of course she is, lmao, they might be the only 2 people that don’t know! I bet even Uji knows

Ann: That’s… a good question honestly!!

Shiho-babe <3: BRB

DM:Uji-kun

Shiho: Yo, do you think Makoto’s straight?

Uji-kun: the eff?

Uji-kun: uhhhh… ain’t she bi or lesbeon or somethin?

Uji-kun: I thought she liked renren???

Shiho: That’s all I needed to know!

Shiho: Thanks! <3

Uji-kun: uh ur welcome i guess????

DM:Ann-babe <3

Shiho: Even Uji’s gaydar pinged on her!

Ann-babe <3: lmao, so literally they are the only 2 that are unaware!

Shiho: Hey, maybe pretending to date Ren will get it through her head that she likes boobs :P

Ann-babe <3: God I hope so!

—

8/1, Monday

“Stupid Sexy Detective Prince”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Valkyrie: You know, I’ve been wondering for the last few days… Ren? Why did it seem like Akechi was really comfortable approaching you?

Joker: shit

Fox: That’s a very strange reason to be comfortable…

Joker: It may be because, uh, I kinda hang out with him sometimes…

Valkyrie: Pardon?

Panther: HUH?!

Skull: y do ya hang out with that asshole????

Fox: Isn’t it a bit risky to visit with a detective who is trying to arrest us?

Joker: It is, and I know I know but, honestly? I don’t really think he’s that bad

Joker: Sure, he doesn’t like the Phantom Thieves, but he’s actually a pretty interesting guy

Queen: That is… one way to put it

Panther: Oh yeah, didn’t he recognize you as well???

Queen: Yes, he works alongside my sister so I’ve often had dinner with them both

Queen: Personally I found him to be too much of a know it all

Skull: damn n thats comin from u

Queen: What is that supposed to mean?!

Joker: Sure he’s a know it all, but he IS super smart

Queen: Oh I’m not denying that, but he’s a bit too aware of his own intelligence and comes across as extremely snarky

Fox: Forgive me if I am wrong, but didn’t many of your classmates think that about you?

Queen: …

Queen: I will not deny that

Panther: Don’t say that she’s as bad as Akechi!!! >:T

Valkyrie: Well I guess at least if Akechi is hanging out with Ren he’ll probably not suspect a thing from her

Admin: Why wouldn’t he suspect her?

Valkyrie: She’s too much of an easily flustered cutie to be a Phantom Thief! :3

Joker: wajiefrovgib n

Fox: But she is a Phantom Thief

Valkyrie: I know that Yusuke >.>

Admin: I’m impressed you can hold your own against that ace detective Ren… he’s super intimidating to me

Skull: ain’t like everyone intimidatin to u???

Panther: Hey! No picking on Yuuki >:T

Skull: I wasn’t pickin on him!

Valkyrie: This is a Yuuki praise zone, no slander will be tolerated!!!

Admin: I mean he’s intimidating in the way that he’s scary sure, but he’s also intimidating in another way…

Queen: That being?

Admin: He’s distractingly attractive…

Panther: asdlkjvodrtrhresw

Valkyrie: So that’s Yuuki’s type of guy :o

Skull: the hell??? he aint that hot

Skull: right renren?

Joker: …

Skull: ???

Panther: Oh no

Fox: It would be rather unwise to develop a crush on a man who is hellbent on capturing us

Joker: lasdfjoribgteogi I do not have a crush on Akechi!!

Valkyrie: Girl you can admit it, Yuuki just blasted out his crush on the guy

Admin: I…

Admin: Was just being honest, besides I’d be way too scared to even talk to him!

Fox: It would seem that Ren is attracted to every portion of the intelligence spectrum, Makoto and Akechi being savants while Ann and Ryuji are the reverse

Joker: YUSUKE!!!!

Valkyrie: evfa

Queen: WHAT?! Why did you put me in that?!

Fox: Hm? It is rather obvious that Ren has feelings for you

Queen: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Panther: Yusuke, babe, stoooppppp I’m going to die of laughter

Fox: I apologize then, I suppose

Chapter Text

8/1, Monday

“Boss, Ren’s Real Dad”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Joker: So, you guys remember the Kimura brothers, I’m sure

Panther: Ugh, don’t remind me

Valkyrie: What about them?

Joker: Well, as it turns out, Boss made sure that they’re going to get expelled

Skull: for real?!

Fox: How did he accomplish that?

Joker: I didn’t ask specifics, but he says that he got them expelled

Valkyrie: Didn’t he go and yell at the principal after Kamoshida’s confession? Maybe he did the same thing here?

Queen: That seems likely

Queen: Either way, I’m quite glad to hear it, an expulsion is the absolute minimum that they deserved

Skull: hell yeah! screw those assholes!!!

Admin: That’s great to hear, I’m sort of surprised he went through all of that effort…

Panther: Boss is the best!! ^^

Valkyrie: You’re right, Ren’s dad IS the best!

Joker: …I’m not actually related to him, you know that right?

Fox: Related or no, he has certainly stepped up to fill the role

Skull: boss is the man!

Panther: The dad that Ren both needs and deserves :o

Joker: That… hm

Admin: Hm?

Joker: I want to say that I don’t deserve it, but then Ann and Shiho will All-Out-Attack me with compliments…

Valkyrie: She’s learning!! :o

Panther: Phase 2! Now we just need her to accept the compliments!!!

Joker: Not happening

Panther: >:T

Valkyrie: >:T

Admin: It’s happening again…

Skull: ya got so close to not gettin teased this time

Joker: …eff

—

8/12, Friday

“Abnormal Gender Things”

DM:Yuuki

Ann: You know, I didn’t even think about this earlier, but when you asked if I could help you dress all feminine…

Ann: I’m sorta curious if there’s a particular reason for that :o

Yuuki: That…

Yuuki: I

Yuuki: uuuhhhhhhh

Ann: You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! I was just a little confused when you asked me, I always used to try and dress Ryuji up and you’d think I was stabbing him with how he reacted lmao

Yuuki: uuhhh

Yuuki: Well I

Yuuki: might sort of maybe want to

Yuuki: experiment? A bit…

Yuuki: With like… gender stuff?

Yuuki: Cause I was talking with Ren and she said something about how ok with crossdressing I was and she was curious and asked me how I felt about it and I got confused and don’t really know how to feel!

Ann: Woah :o

Ann: It’s ok, don’t panic

Ann: Sorry to put you on the spot like that

Yuuki: Sorry…

Ann: It’s fine! I guess it was kind of a loaded question

Yuuki: You don’t think it’s weird, do you? To want to experiment like that?

Ann: Not at all!

Ann: Yuuki, I’m dating a trans-girl and Mona is a non-binary not-cat, I’d say I’m pretty used to abnormal gender things :P

Yuuki: Right…

Yuuki: uh, thanks, by the way

Ann: Of course!

—

8/16, Tuesday

“To Know Your Enemy”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Panther: So let’s just say that hypothetically Akechi had a crush on Ren

Joker: ANN!!! I told you that he does not!!!

Panther: I said hypothetically!

Panther: Could we use that to our advantage??

Valkyrie: Ok… that’s a bit to unpack

Valkyrie: 1. He has a crush on Ren? Damn, I guess Akechi does have good taste

Joker: SHIHO!!!

Valkyrie: 2. Use it how???

Panther: idk, but like… if he somehow found us out do you think Ren could convince him to not arrest us?

Admin: Uh… are you saying that Ren should… seduce Akechi if it comes to that??

Panther: No! But if he already has feelings for her…

Valkyrie: To be fair, if anyone had a chance at flirting our way out of danger? It’d probably be Ren, just on the sheer cuteness factor alone

Joker: aerghvuifotb

Skull: the eff? that asshole has a crush on renren?!

Joker: He does not!!!

Panther: PLEASE, he so does! That club he took you to was absolutely a date spot!

Joker: It was not!!

Valkyrie: The more you deny it, the more real it becomes :3

Queen: I… do not believe that’s how that works

Valkyrie: Oh, I guess you would know :o

Queen: Pardon?

Valkyrie: Nothing!~

Panther: aergj Shiho!

Fox: My apologies, I believe I am quite lost, what is it that you are implying Shiho?

Valkyrie: Don’t worry about it!

Queen: I am at a loss as well…

Queen: …reading back what was said above though

Queen: I don’t believe we should rely on the chance that Akechi has feelings for Ren to avoid his skepticism

Skull: i think we should just avoid that dick altogether

Panther: Be nice Ryuji, you might have to play nice with him when he asks Ren out :P

Joker: lajkbvgob

Joker: I…

Joker: I am at a complete loss for words

—

8/20, Saturday

“Rampant Homosexuality”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin

Fox: A thought occurred to me this evening as I was on my way home

Admin: That being??

Fox: As of tonight, the original polyamorous relationship between our teammates has fully engulfed me

Admin: Uhhh…

Valkyrie: aogiejr

Valkyrie: Why did you phrase it like that? XD

Panther: What does that even mean???

Joker: I… think he’s saying that he’s dating all 4 of us that started dating each other back when we first became polyamorous?

Fox: That is correct

Valkyrie: Yusuke, collecting partners like he’s trying to 100% a game

Fox: I am not sure I follow

Skull: eargho

Skull: DUDE!!! u just blasted out that were datin?!

Fox: Is there a problem with that? None of us are very shy about our relationships

Fox: That aside I did also state that I wished to help you grow more accustomed to homosexuality

Valkyrie: wrtghbu

Panther: aaawwwwwwww!

Skull: i get what you mean but damn! i figured u would take a bit to ease into it!!!

Fox: I was merely operating under the assumption that you wished to adapt quickly, seeing as how you are a runner

Fox: If I am not mistaken, runners tend to prefer things done swiftly, yes?

Joker: …Your brain fascinates me Yusuke

Fox: Thank you, leader

Valkyrie: Damn so now we have boys dating in our polycule! :o

Valkyrie: The homosexuality is running rampant!!

Fox: Is that a negative thing?

Valkyrie: Nope! It’s a very very positive thing!! :D

Queen: Congratulations you two

Queen: Or… you five I suppose in this case

Skull: thnx makoto…

Panther: Now Yusuke! You gotta tell us how bashful he got when you confessed!

Skull: howdya know i wasnt the one to confess?!

Valkyrie: It’s pretty obvious :P

Fox: I believe that should be a story for another day, I wouldn’t wish to overwhelm Ryuji so quickly

Panther: awwww, such a caring bf!

Skull: thats a relief…

Valkyrie: Yeah, we can let you off easy tonight

Valkyrie: I am proud of you though! :3

Skull: whwhat?!

Valkyrie: Cuz you struggle with being honest about your gay feelings :o so I’m proud of you for embracing it and accepting it!

Admin: And he’s offline now…

Fox: It seems he was overwhelmed

Valkyrie: RIP

Joker: Homosexuality is running rampant?

Valkyrie: Yup! And it’s my goal to make it run as rampant as possible! :D

Chapter Text

8/25, Thursday

“Who Knew?”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona

Oracle: i know it’s late but i want to take a poll!!

Mona: Futaba it’s almost midnight, go to bed!

Oracle: dont act like you arent all up!! its summer time!!!

Skull: uh im up, what did u want?

Oracle: wait for more peeeoopleeeeee

Joker: Futaba… you should go to bed

Oracle: who are you? makoto? <_<

Fox: I happen to be awake, I am currently out wandering for inspiration in the alleyways of Tokyo

Skull: uhhhh… is that safe? u aint afraid of gettin robbed or anythin?

Fox: I believe I am quite safe… it is not as if I have any money for them to steal

Skull: dude…

Admin: I’m up just moderating the Phan-site, what’s up?

Valkyrie: Ugh why are you all blowing up my phone? I’m trying to cuddle Ann! >:T I’ll be pissed if you wake her up!!

Oracle: alright, thats everyone who wasnt there today!

Oracle: so my question, who thinks im trans?

Skull: uhhh… like renren?

Oracle: yes, like your renren

Valkyrie: I mean, I didn’t think you were, but I feel like you’re asking this because you are?

Admin: I sort of suspected when Ren said you used to get her hormones…

Fox: I was fully unaware, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind

Skull: same

Mona: I don’t really pay attention to all this gender stuff you humans do

Oracle: wow, so only moral support got it? (＠_＠;)

Fox: Oh, so you are trans then?

Oracle: yeh

Fox: Congratulations on your self-discovery

Oracle: uh… ive been trans for years inari, so im still a girl, im just a trans-girl, just to make that extra clear for you >__>

Fox: Oh, I see

Fox: Well congratulations regardless

Skull: huh, cool shit, u n renren are kinda similar huh?

Oracle: sorry to break it to you skull but i’m aromantic, so you’ll have to settle for only dating one traumatized trans-girl :P

Skull: that aint what i meant!!!

Valkyrie: I’m glad you felt comfortable telling us Futaba! Now, kindly, everyone shut the hell up before you wake Ann up!!!! >:T

Admin: It’d be even worse if we woke Makoto up…

Mona: Go to bed everyone! That’s an order from your Chief Medic!!!

Skull: yeh yeh…

—

8/26, Friday

“From Top to Bottom”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona

Oracle: hhmm 

Oracle: Shiho > Ann > Makoto > Ryuji > Ren > Yuuki

Joker: Do I even want to know?

Oracle: It’s the top to bottom hierarchy! (・ω・)

Joker: I…

Joker: I’m done with this conversation

Valkyrie: I approve of this list

Skull: i dont!!!

Oracle: u wanna fight about it?! (ง •_•)ง

Skull: uuhhhh, no?

Oracle: and that’s why you’re a bottom

Skull: the eff????

Admin: I think the list is pretty accurate

Oracle: Confirmed, Yuuki is in fact, not a brat

Admin: Thanks???

Queen: Futaba… why do you know these terms?

Oracle: you can check my search history if you really want to know, I have pretty good taste~ ✪ ω ✪

Fox: I am afraid I still don’t understand what these terms mean

Panther: Don’t worry about it!

Valkyrie: She was a shut in Momkoto

Valkyrie: I mean… what else is she going to do if not look at porn?

Queen: …

Queen: I am going to take Joker’s lead and leave this conversation

Panther: lmao

Oracle: tbh im more impressed that Queen knows those terms!

Valkyrie: That’s a good point honestly

Oracle: want me to find out how she knows? :3c

Admin: Please don’t hack any of us…

Oracle: awwww, party pooper!

Valkyrie: As funny as it would be, please don’t

Oracle: (* ￣︿￣) fiiiiiine

Panther: I feel like she probably learned them from us lmao

—

8/28, Sunday

“The Reason for Color Coding”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona

Oracle changed Joker’s nickname to Cinnamon Roll

Oracle: Perfection

Cinnamon Roll: Futaba…

Oracle: Yes?

Cinnamon Roll: …

Oracle: ~(￣▽￣)~*

Oracle changed Skull’s nickname to The Dumb One

Oracle changed Panther’s nickname to The Hot One

Queen: Futaba, I don’t think you should be changing their nicknames without their approval

The Dumb One: the hell?! i wasnt even sayin nothin!!

Oracle: I just say what I see

Oracle changed Queen’s nickname to Team Mom

Valkyrie: I approve of that one

Team Mom: Shiho…

Oracle changed Valkyrie’s nickname to The Other Hot One

Oracle changed Mona’s nickname to Team Mascot

Team Mascot: Hey! I’m not a mascot!

The Other Hot One: I’ll take it

The Dumb One: y u gotta come at me like this futabs???

Oracle: is it an incorrect name?

The Hot One: True or not it’s a little rude lmao

Oracle: fiiiiine

Oracle changed The Dumb One’s nickname to The Loud One

Oracle: better?

The Loud One: better

Fox: I am starting to lose track of who is who

Oracle changed Fox’s nickname to INARIIII

Oracle: the names are color coded inari

INARIIII: Ah, so they are, carry on then

Team Mom: Change everyone’s names back Futaba

The Other Hot One: Really living up to that name tbh

The Hot One: qwerfevui Shiho!

Admin: What happened here?

Oracle changed Admin’s nickname to The Moral Support

The Moral Support: I… should have seen this coming

Cinnamon Roll: Futaba, listen to your team mother right this instant

Oracle: awflshsdweorf

The Other Hot One: lmao

Team Mom: Ren…

Oracle: I’m so proud of our cinnamon roll!

Oracle changed nickname to Master Gremlin

Master Gremlin: however I shall not listen! You cannot contain me!!! ( •̀ ω •́ )y

INARIIII: That is likely an unwise decision

Cinnamon Roll: Stand down Queen, I got this one

Team Mom: You do?

Cinnamon Roll: Master Gremlin, change everyone’s usernames back or else I’ll tell Sojiro about your bugs in Leblanc

Master Gremlin: You wouldn’t dare!! You’re far too much of a precious girl for that!!

Cinnamon Roll: You wanna bet?

Master Gremlin: NANI?! No keysmash?! Impossible!! o((⊙﹏⊙))o.

Master Gremlin reset nicknames

Skull: damn

Fox: An excellent showing of force leader

Oracle: ಠ╭╮ಠ you’ll pay for this Joker!

—

8/30, Tuesday

“The Inevitable”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona

Panther: You were all waiting for it, I know, but I had to pick out the right pics, so it took a little while!!

Panther sent (5) images

Panther: Not to be conceited, but we look great in our swimsuits!

Joker: asdhouisjbvs

Joker: WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT PICTURE?!

Valkyrie: Did you really think your girlfriend WASN’T going to take a pic of you in a swimsuit??? Especially when you looked so hot??

Joker: abgkjviosfudertefrg8b9w

Fox: The temperature was rather high, so there is no shame in being overly warm

Admin: I… don’t think that’s what she meant…

Oracle: delete pic

Skull: wow i didnt know futabs got embarrassed bout that kinda stuff

Oracle: silence!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Fox: It is inevitable, the more embarrassed it makes you, the more likely Ann and Shiho will continue doing it

Valkyrie: lmao yeah

Oracle: hhhnnggggggg 

Panther: Futaba did look cute in her’s!

Oracle: yeah but what about ren?!

Skull: she looked super hot, what bout her?

Joker: alsjvihdsoitujgh

Oracle: all according to plan

Joker: Futaba! You need to get teased too!

Oracle: ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴ no

Queen: You do think that eventually Ren would get used to this happening any time she wears something that makes her look cute

Joker: asdihfuoesdsghrtguioepfasrevgjurgpnbujgts

Joker: WHAT?!

Valkyrie: brgfs

Queen: I… was just being honest!

Queen: I didn’t mean it like that!!

Queen: Not that you didn’t look cute!! You absolutely did!!

Queen: Wait!! I mean!!

Queen: …I’m going to step away from this discussion…

Admin: Wow…

Panther: Queen, the master of digging her own grave :o

Valkyrie: I am actually deceased (though Uji still has her beat on digging graves)

Skull: the hell? i dont dig myself that deep!!

Fox: I must admit that I am rather curious about something unrelated to Queen’s grave digging

Fox: Is anyone else rather surprised that Yuuki wore a male swimsuit?

Admin: Pardon???

Panther: alsdjvgiob YOU”RE SO RIGHT!!!

Admin: Uhh…

Admin: Hm…

Mona: I don’t think I’ll ever understand how this group has been able to clear so many Palaces

Valkyrie: You love us :P

Panther: I’m impressed Ren could type that for you with how blushy she probably is right now

Mona: It’s kind of like she uses a different part of her brain to type what I want to say, she’s still actively stunned yet can type everything I say perfectly

Fox: It is but another of her many abilities it seems

—

8/31, Wednesday

“Alibaba’s Revenge”

Chat:Girls ONLY

Members: Ann, Shiho, Ren, Makoto, Futaba

Futaba changed Ren’s nickname to MOST Valid Girl

MOST Valid Girl: Really? Why do you keep doing this…

Shiho: I approve of this name change

MOST Valid Girl: Shiho!!

Ann: I approve of it as well!

MOST Valid Girl: asdhovsu

MOST Valid Girl: Do NOT side with her on this!!! Change my name back!

Futaba: but it’s just a true statement! you ARE the most valid girl!

Shiho: This is true, I have come to the realization that Ren is more valid than me, a cis girl

Futaba: so you have seen the light, my child!

Ann: She IS the most girl a girl could be…

Futaba: many girl, much vibes

MOST Valid Girl: dfvhuisforjg

MOST Valid Girl: Have mercy on me, please…

Shiho: All in favor of keeping this as her nickname? Say aye!

Ann: Aye!

Futaba: aye aye cap’n!

Makoto: Aye

MOST Valid Girl: Makoto!!! Why?!

Makoto: It IS just a factual statement

Ann: lmao

MOST Valid Girl: This is a god damn mutiny…

Futaba: Revolution!!!

Shiho: We’re such rebels that we’re rebelling against our own leader!!

Futaba locked MOST Valid Girl’s nickname

MOST Valid Girl: THAT’S A THING YOU CAN DO?!

Futaba: Not normally, but with my talents? Yes~ :3c

MOST Valid Girl: ugh what did I do to deserve this?

Futaba: This is payback for making me change everyone’s nicknames back to normal in Phantom Chat! (￣y▽￣)╭

Ann: Wow

Shiho: A+ Move

Makoto: I am rather glad that you took the lead that time, Ren…

MOST Valid Girl: …

MOST Valid Girl: I… 

MOST Valid Girl: uuggghhhhhh

Ann: Cutie <3

MOST Valid Girl: lskjdbogigoiu

Futaba: The legendary keysmash of the most valid girl in existence! :o bask at it’s glory! It’s said to rejuvenate the soul!

MOST Valid Girl: You are a demon child…

Futaba: And YOU are a pretty girl!

MOST Valid Girl: fvudiosgnj

Shiho: The most holy keysmash returns! :o you have blessed us this day, oh most valid one!

MOST Valid Girl: I really don’t like the 2 of you working together…

—

9/5, Monday

“Worst of the Worst”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona

Oracle: question

Valkyrie: Answer?

Oracle: whos the shittiest target you all have fought???

Fox: As in ‘who is the most unpleasant opponent whose heart we have changed?’

Oracle: well i mostly mean boss fight

Queen: Boss fight?

Skull: she means like in a video game, when ya gotta fight a boss at the end of a dungeon

Panther: Are you asking who was the hardest to fight?

Oracle: that or most unpleasant, im curious

Admin: I’ve only been a part of two… but the fight in your Palace was the hardest…

Oracle: really? (⊙_⊙)？

Fox: Your Palace was rather difficult, had things gone just a little differently I would not be here today

Valkyrie: Kaneshiro was probably the easiest

Queen: Really?

Admin: Really?!

Mona: Yeah, we escaped mostly unharmed that time! If I had to pick the hardest though? I’d say Madarame’s, I got my face smashed in!

Joker: It was the only real option we had to get past all the clones…

Admin: Clones?

Panther: Yeah he could duplicate himself, it was REALLY annoying :T

Skull: plus they had like different elements n shit

Skull: but kamoshithead was definitely the worst

Valkyrie: Yeah, that was a rough one

Fox: I don’t believe I know much of how that battle went, save that Ren survived by the skin of her teeth

Joker: Yeah, I mean, it didn’t help that there was only 5 of us at the time but that was a really rough battle

Mona: Plus only Panther and I could heal! So stamina was a huge concern!

Joker: That said, Futaba’s was the hardest no doubt

Joker: If she hadn’t shown up? We would have all died against that cognition

Oracle: really? well, i guess it did seem pretty rough when i showed up

Valkyrie: That’s an understatement! We were seriously screwed!

Admin: Yeah… Futaba really saved us that time

Skull: hell yeah she did! oracle kicked ass!

Queen: I can only hope that with Futaba’s aid our future heists can go a lot more smoothly

Oracle: ill do my best!╰(*°▽°*)╯

Fox: Considering the trend of Palaces continually growing stronger? It’s quite likely that we will need all the help we can get

Panther: You make it sound so ominous…

Chapter Text

9/12, Monday

“The Game of Teasing”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona

Panther: I know we all just left the airport and we’re all tired and jet lagged, BUT I have something to cheer everyone up!

Panther: LOOK AT THIS PIC OF REN AND RYUJI CUDDLING!

Panther sent an image

Panther: EEEEEEEE!!!

Joker: AOGUIHRFVNIDE

Joker: HOW DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE PICS OF ME?!

Panther: I always take pictures of cute things! It’s not my fault that you’re so cute all the time :P

Joker: gefoivjdslv

Oracle: ann is undefeated in the game of teasing ren

Valkyrie: I remember seeing them like that when I woke up! I had to try so hard to not make a sound cause it was so damn cute!!

Valkyrie sent an image

Valkyrie: Also I took a pic of it too :P

Joker: …

Skull: the hell?!?! yd u send that here?!?!?!

Panther: So we can tease you both about it!

Skull: that aint what i meant!!!!

Valkyrie: ??

Queen: …why was Ryuji in Ren and Ann’s room?

Panther: Oooohhhh

Skull: it was shihos idea!!!

Oracle: damn, throwing her under the bus frame 1

Valkyrie: Nah I can take the fall, I DID send a pic of it too XD

Valkyrie: We had a sleepover!

Queen: …

Valkyrie: Mooommmm we’ve literally had SO many sleepovers at Leblanc! It’s not like anything bad happened

Queen: That doesn’t change the fact that it was against the rules

Admin: I’m almost glad I couldn’t join now…

Skull: ur glad you had dyarheia?

Admin: …I’m not going to answer that

Panther: Ryuji! Gross!!!!

Mona: Honestly I’m surprised you didn’t just assume they were going to stay in each other’s rooms Makoto

Oracle: i sent that one for mona btw

Queen: I was… busy with other things

Valkyrie: Like kissing Ren? :o 

Joker: aoljghvoeij

Queen: THAT IS UNNECESSARY TO SAY IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!

Panther: Pffft, I maaaayyyy have already told everyone that you 2 were together cause I was so psyched about it ^^;

Queen: …I had assumed as much, but even so…

Fox: Forgive me, I was under the impression that the two of you had been together for some time now?

Joker: How am I the last one to find out that Makoto was into me?!

Skull: cuz u dont see how cute you are?

Valkyrie: Or how precious you are?

Panther: Or how adorable you are!

Fox: You are rather aloof to your own beauty

Joker: aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Valkyrie: Oops, we broke her again

Panther: What’s she doing Mona?

Oracle: monas with me, ren is still on her way to leblanc rn

Valkyrie: RIP

Queen: I can… overlook Shiho and Ryuji not staying in their rooms for an evening, I suppose

Skull: oh thank god

Valkyrie: Perks of our girlfriend dating the class president :o

Queen: …

Valkyrie: :3c

Oracle: noted

Oracle: shiho is undefeated in the game of teasing makoto

—

9/18, Sunday

“Feeling Lied To”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona

Skull: i feel lied to

Queen: Must you bring this up to everyone?

Panther: ???

Valkyrie: What happened? :o

Skull: so queen n me were trainin n shit today, right?

Skull: did you know that her braid aint even her hair?! that’s a hairband!!

Panther: Oh, I thought it was obvious

Skull: huh?!

Admin: I didn’t notice…

Fox: I shall be quite honest in admitting that I did not see that coming myself either

Valkyrie: Really? I thought someone with your keen eye would notice it was a hairband

Fox: I had not, the coloring of it is quite spot-on for Makoto’s natural hair it would seem as I had never even thought to examine it close enough to tell

Queen: That is part of why I got it in the first place

Skull: ok, how the eff did yall know it wasnt her real hair???

Panther: Maybe it’s a girl thing :P we just notice each other’s hairstyles and accessories more easily than you boys do~

Skull: where r renren and futabs? thatll be how we figure out for sure

Fox: I believe they are writing the Calling Card at the moment

Skull: still? eff 

Valkyrie: I’m more confused as to how Uji found out now??

Skull: oh that was cuz it fell off when i knocked her down

Panther: You beat Makoto in a sparring match? :o

Queen: He did, he took me by surprise and managed to beat me very quickly during one of our training matches

Valkyrie: :O wow!!

Valkyrie: Even I can only get Queen sometimes!!

Skull: well… it aint like i can beat her all the time

Skull: she kinda kicked my ass for the rest of the trainin…

Queen: I did tell you that I would take it much more seriously once we were more evenly matched

Skull: still… its kinda scary when you come at me like that…

Valkyrie: Mood

Admin: I think I’d pass out if Queen charged at me…

Fox: Perhaps I should challenge Makoto to a sparring match… feelings of fear can be quite useful inspiration for art

Queen: …Am I really that scary?

Valkyrie: Scary in a good way! You WANT to be scary during combat after all!

Valkyrie: Outside of combat? You’re way too cute to be scary! :P

Queen: …

Skull: ya know, why does she just send dots when shes teased???

Panther: It’s her cute way of reacting!!

Admin: And now she’s offline…

Valkyrie: And that’s also a cute way of reacting!!

—

9/22, Thursday

“A Terrible Mistake”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona

Oracle: mission has been accomplished

Oracle: joker has seen 1 full season of featherman, she will be a fan before the end of the year

Fox: That is the series in which your figurines come from, correct?

Oracle: yup!

Joker: Futaba is a mega-fan, she spent the entire time fangirling about it in my ear

Panther: That sounds adorable >w<

Oracle: there was a lot of lore to explain to her!!

Oracle: honestly im just surprised that sis was fine listening to me ramble for so long

Valkyrie: Sis?

Panther: Sis?!

Oracle: oh no

Oracle: ive made a mistake

Valkyrie: Did you just call Ren sis??

Oracle: ive made a terrible mistake

Skull: rip

Panther: omg!!! You 2 totally are sisters!!!

Joker: Now look what you’ve done Futaba

Oracle: forgive meeee (┬┬﹏┬┬)

Valkyrie: When did THIS happen?! Since when was Ren actually adopted into the Sakura family? :O

Joker: I am not!

Oracle: this is all that gun dudes fault…

Valkyrie: It’s Iwai’s fault??

Joker: He said that Futaba looked like my little sister the other day when we went to go get gear for everyone

Panther: >w< and now she is your little sister!

Valkyrie: Big sis Ren! :o No wonder you’re so protective of her!!

Skull: thats pretty adorable

Joker: lajrgoriurb 

Oracle: not you too ryuji!

Skull: im just sayin what i see

Oracle: did you just… hold a grudge???

Skull: maybe a bit

Oracle: …respect

Fox: Ah, I can see it now, a family portrait of the Sakura household

Oracle: dont plant that idea in sojiros head! i cant sit still long enough for a painting!

Fox: Ah, a shame

Panther: I need to know EVERYTHING!! How did this happen?

Oracle: hey, sue me for seeing ren as a big sister

Oracle: shes always watching out for me, protects me, cares about me, gets along with sojiro and she lives with me!

Oracle: but can we not, like, tease me about that though? its kind of really embarrassing and not so much in a good way to be teased about this sorta thing…

Panther: Oh

Valkyrie: Of course!

Panther: Sorry if we get a little carried away sometimes ^^;

Oracle: its ok… i just… idk, i see ren as family???

Oracle: and i know that might be kinda weird cuz we havent known each other all that long but… thats just how i see her??

Oracle: i know that you all saved me and im always going to give credit to everyone, but… idk, its always felt more personal with ren

Oracle: cuz she knows what i went through… more than anyone else can

Joker: Futaba…

Oracle: sorry to get all serious about that…

Panther: You don’t have to apologize!

Valkyrie: Mhm! Don’t ever apologize for sharing your feelings with us! And don’t feel bad for telling us to take it easy with the teasing, we always want it to be in good fun

Oracle: i appreciate it

Panther: Question though

Oracle: shoot

Panther: Can we still tease Ren about it?

Oracle: …what kind of little sister would i be if i said no?

Joker: Hey!

Valkyrie: You know, you can always tell us if the teasing is too much for you too :o

Joker: …

Oracle: sis likes the teasing (￣y▽￣)

Joker: My little sister is such a god damn gremlin… 

—

9/23, Friday

“Awakening Fatigue”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Noir: Pardon me, but might I ask you all something?

Oracle: u dont gotta ask to ask something u can just ask it

Noir: I see, very well then. I was simply wondering if I could know how long I was asleep for? My phone seems to be saying that it’s the 23rd?

Queen: That… is correct, you were asleep for over a full day

Valkyrie: Holy shit we forgot to tell her she was out for a whole day…

Noir: …Pardon?

Mona: It sort of happens… I mean, Oracle was out cold for about a week after her Awakening

Noir: A week?! Oh dear… I suppose maybe I am fortunate then.

Skull: well, none of the rest of us were really out for any longer than a night of sleep… so you still sorta got it the worst

Joker: Hey, Ryuji, remember when we had our Awakenings and then had to go to school right after?

Skull: oh YEAH!!! nevermind we had it the worst

Panther: lmao, that was quick

Fox: That does sound rather difficult to handle, I can only imagine that Ryuji slept through all of his classes

Skull: yup

Valkyrie: Wait I think I remember that day!! :O

Valkyrie: Then again, you did used to sleep in class kind of a lot

Skull: did ya need to say that in this chat?!?!

Noir: It’s alright Ryuji-kun, before the summer I was already starting to struggle with something similar myself.

Queen: You have a valid excuse for that though… Ryuji? Not as much

Skull: eff…

Queen: Well, I suppose I can just be glad Shiho said ‘used to’, implying he doesn’t sleep in class anymore

Valkyrie: I think he knows he’d be in big trouble with you if he did :P

Skull: yup…

Oracle: whipped

Skull: eff off!!!!

Panther: Ryuji’s grades will be forever grateful that he’s so scared of pissing Makoto off :P

Joker: Seriously though, sorry we forgot to tell you Haru… It honestly just completely slipped my mind

Noir: It is quite alright, Ren-chan, I was simply surprised to see that so much time had passed is all.

—

9/26, Monday

“The Thieves’ Parents”

Chat:Girls ONLY

Members: Ann, Shiho, MOST Valid Girl, Makoto, Futaba, Haru

Makoto: I have to say, Ryuji’s mother is a very sweet woman

Shiho: You met Uji’s mom? :o

Makoto: Mhm, we were training today but ended early, so we spent some time at his apartment

Ann: Reiko is awesome! :D she’s like… 1 of the 2 good parents that any of us have

Futaba: if the other isnt sojiro i will hack u

Ann: Of course it’s Boss! You and Ren have a great dad! :3

MOST Valid Girl: How many times

Haru: How many times?

MOST Valid Girl: I forgot this was my username here, sorry…

MOST Valid Girl: Anyway, how many times do I have to say it? Sojiro isn’t my dad

Futaba: not with that attitude!!!

Shiho: Ok, 1st, Ren? Sojiro may not be your dad but he is the dad who stepped up :P

Shiho: 2nd? Uji’s mom is great! I keep meaning to go and visit her again but we’ve been so busyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Makoto: I will say, in a way? She somewhat reminded me of you and Ann

Ann: Huh???

Makoto: She seemed to really enjoy embarrassing him

Ann: lmao, truuuuuuueeeee

Shiho: Maybe that’s why she likes us? XD

Futaba: also wait!! hold on!!! the thieves have 3 good parents!!!

MOST Valid Girl: We do?

Futaba: ryuji’s mom

Futaba: sojiro

Futaba: and momkoto

Makoto: …

Ann: Truuuueeee!

Futaba changed Makoto’s nickname to Momkoto

Futaba locked Momkoto’s nickname

Momkoto: Futaba…

Futaba: futaba is unavailable, please save all complaints for when i return

Momkoto: …

MOST Valid Girl: Now you know my pain…

Haru: I think it’s rather cute.

Shiho: Eventually Futaba will control all of our nicknames here, it’s only a matter of time…

Ann: Honestly I’m here for it

Futaba: mwehehehe! no one is safe from alibaba! ( •̀ ω •́ )y

—

9/27, Thursday

“Birthday Thieves”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Noir: I have another question if that’s alright.

Valkyrie: You don’t have to ask if it’s alright :P this chat is just for us to talk with each other!

Noir: I know, it is… simply a habit of mine I suppose…

Noir: Now, as for my question, I was wondering what everyone’s birthdays were? I like to try my best to memorize my friend’s birthdays if at all possible.

Valkyrie: That’s… a good question honestly :o I don’t really know many of them myself!

Panther: Mine is 11/12! And Ryuji’s is 7/3

Valkyrie: Mine’s 10/12, one month before Ann’s :P

Oracle: i have everyones on file

Skull: tf u mean ‘on file’???

Oracle: inaris is 1/28/00

Oracle: momkotos is 4/23/98

Skull: just gonna ignore my question futabs?

Oracle: moral supports is 5/8/99

Oracle: yes

Skull: rude

Valkyrie: No fighting, let her finish :P

Oracle: mine is 2/19/01

Oracle: harus is 12/5/98

Oracle: monas is unknown

Oracle: rens is 3/20/00

Noir: How did you already know my birthday Futaba-chan?

Oracle: mwehehe, dont underestimate alibaba!! (★ ω ★)

Skull: the eff? renrens almost a year younger than me??

Valkyrie: You and Yuuki are just at the older end of the range for 2nd years :P

Panther: And Ren is on the younger end!

Valkyrie: I always knew that Ren was baby :o

Joker: Oh no

Joker: Futaba… why couldn’t you just say 99?

Oracle: cuz that would be lying u little baby

Joker: I’m still older than you…

Oracle: irrelevant!

Noir: I certainly appreciate you letting me know, Futaba-chan! I just finished noting everyone’s birthday down so I won’t miss anyone!

Panther: You’re so wholesome, Haru

Noir: I am? I’m simply trying to be as good of a friend as I can be, that’s all.

Valkyrie: And that’s very wholesome!

Noir: Well, I appreciate the compliment!

Panther: :o

Valkyrie: :o

Noir: Did I say something wrong?

Admin: They’re just amazed that you didn’t get flustered like everyone else here does at compliments…

Noir: Oh! I’m sorry, was I supposed to react in a different way?

Panther: So wholesome! >w<

Valkyrie: Challenge unlocked: find a way to fluster Haru

Oracle: do we finally have a phantom thief that isnt a bottom?

Skull: tf???

Joker: FUTABA!!

Chapter Text

10/1, Saturday

“Uniform Variation”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Valkyrie: You know, I sort of realized something today

Fox: Oh?

Valkyrie: Ren is the only one of us at Shujin that just wears her normal uniform without any alterations

Joker: ???

Valkyrie: I mean like, you just wear the standard uniform, right?

Valkyrie: Ann practically wears completely different clothes, Uji wears a t-shirt, Haru has her sweater, Yuuki and I don’t wear the blazer and Makoto wears a different style of uniform

Panther: Huh… you’re right :o

Noir: Honestly I’m a bit surprised that you’ve never been reprimanded for wearing such a different outfit, Ann-chan.

Panther: They yelled at me a bit for a little while last year, but I think they stopped caring when they realized I already stood out too much just from being blonde =_=

Skull: same here, they care alot more bout tryin to get me to stop bleachin my hair than they do bout the tshirt

Valkyrie: They still give you a hard time about that???

Skull: yup

Admin: I don’t think I’d be able to survive getting scolded that often…

Skull: ya get used to it after you spend enough time as a delinkwuent

Fox: I’m more surprised that Makoto does not take issue with such flagrant disregard for the breach of uniformity

Queen: To be honest it’s… entirely not worth the effort it would take, especially when I know by now that none of you would listen to me

Valkyrie: She’s learning :o

Oracle: eh, i bet if you told moral support to hed start to wear the blazer

Admin: …you’re not wrong

Queen: Yes, but then I’d be singling Yuuki out, and that’s hardly fair

Valkyrie: Yeah! No one singles out my Yuuki! >:(

Admin: I

Panther: You always make him freeze right before he gets called on to answer a question…

Oracle: rip moral support

Joker: I’m… honestly now a bit curious what alteration I’d even make to the uniform?

Joker: I don’t think I’d make any, I actually kind of like it…

Skull: for real???

Joker: Well, it’s a lot better than my old school’s uniform, that’s for sure

Joker: Though maybe I’m biased since here I actually get to wear the girl’s uniform

Valkyrie: Trying to imagine Ren in the boy’s uniform at all really just doesn’t compute in my brain :o

Oracle: same

Panther: Yeah, she wears too much girly clothing for that to be an image in my mind!

Joker: …you both knew me before I even had a feminine wardrobe

Valkyrie: Yeah but you always just wore your uniform 24/7 back then

Noir: I don’t believe you need to alter your uniform, Ren-chan.

Noir: After all, no one else in this school has Mona-chan on their shoulder!

Panther: :o that’s true!

Panther: Morgana is the perfect accessory!

Mona: I am not an accessory!

Skull: better than bein called a cat, right?

Mona: Well… I… not really???

Mona: I mean, cats are at least alive! Calling me an accessory makes me sound like a toy or a decoration of some

Fox: Of some?

Panther: Ren got pelted with chalk from Ushimaru cause Mona kept meowing…

Skull: what an asshole…

Valkyrie: Seriously…

Valkyrie: Though, it’s kind of surprising that we found something Mona hates being called more than ‘cat’ :o

Oracle: at least we dont have to worry about anyone else calling him an accessory

Queen: Are you all really still texting? Please at least pretend to focus on class…

Skull: yes ma’am…

Valkyrie: Fiiiiine

—

10/3, Monday

“A Friendly Wager”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Panther: Attention everyone!

Panther: I just want to say that Makoto and I are now dating <3

Queen: …you’re doing this on purpose

Panther: Maybe ;3

Noir: Awww, there’s no need to be embarrassed Mako-chan!

Noir: I’m happy for you both!

Valkyrie: !!

Valkyrie: The Polycule - It GROWS

Joker: Why do you make that sound so menacing?

Fox: Ah, congratulations

Fox: Also, Futaba, you owe me 1000 yen

Oracle: (°ロ°;)

Oracle: stupid frickin inari and your stupid frickin good guesswork

Skull: uuhhh… the hells goin on here?

Queen: Do I even want to know?

Fox: Ah, right, Futaba and I had a little wager going to determine who would start dating amongst the Thieves next

Fox: I had correctly guessed Makoto and Ann and as such? Futaba owes me 1000 yen

Fox: I shall spend it on art supplies, I think

Valkyrie: 1. Shocking

Valkyrie: 2. Why the hell didn’t I get in on this?! D:

Oracle: we cant involve everyone in the bet! otherwise people will just start confessing left and right to win bets!!!

Queen: This feels entirely inappropriate…

Joker: Agreed, Futaba, don’t bet on the dating lives of your teammates

Oracle: but reeeennnnn i need to earn that yen back! (ಥ _ ಥ)

Joker: No buts Futaba

Oracle: (┬┬﹏┬┬) ok…

Admin: Wow…

Panther: I can’t believe that worked :o

Valkyrie: Big sis privilege wins again!

DM:Inari

Futaba: double or nothing, ren and haru are next

Inari: I believe the others do not wish for us to continue making these bets

Futaba: so u dont want to earn more art supplies?

Inari: …double or nothing works for me

Inari: I believe I shall wager Shiho and Makoto next

Futaba: u are so goin down this time inari!!!

—

10/5, Wednesday

“The Environment of the Heart”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Skull: ya know its kinda wild that harus dads palace is in friggin space

Fox: Is it really that strange though? Especially in comparison to some of our other adventures?

Skull: uh, yeah! bein in space is lot more crazy than bein in a castle!!!!

Admin: Kaneshiro’s Palace was flying though…

Panther: And Futaba’s turned the whole world into a desert wasteland!

Skull: that all almost seems normal in comparison to space…

Fox: I suppose that the strangeness is in the eye of the beholder, so to speak

Joker: There is something to be said about Palaces that affect the entirety of Tokyo though…

Joker: Kamoshida and Madarame both had completely regular renditions of Tokyo around their Palaces

Skull: yeh… that made kamoshitheads palace pretty effin confusin at first!

Valkyrie: You know, I get that Futaba’s was because she knows nothing about the city, but it’s sort of surprising that Okumura seems to know nothing about Tokyo either

Mona: That’s not necessarily the case, he may have a perfect rendition of Tokyo on Earth in his Palace, but since he perceives his HQ as being a Spaceport? It appears on the moon instead

Noir: Frankly I’d be surprised if Father had much of an understanding of Tokyo…

Noir: We travel by limo and plane virtually everywhere, so it isn’t as if he has any inherent need to know the ins and outs of the city aside from just knowing key locations to build new restaurants.

Noir: And even for that he tends to hire outside help instead of knowing the locations himself.

Panther: Huh…

Queen: It does make sense when you put it that way, plenty of highly wealthy people are incredibly out of touch with the cities they live in after all

Joker: So, if anything, it may end up being more of a rarity for us to see a life-like Tokyo inside of Palaces?

Queen: On a long enough timeframe? Possibly

Fox: Frankly, I am still more impressed by the sheer variety of places we have been

Fox: Though I must admit, I would rather like to see a Palace based more upon traditional Japanese architecture

Valkyrie: You would

Valkyrie: Though I guess it is an interesting question :o hmm… I wanna see an underwater Palace!

Skull: hell no! that sounds like it wuld be annoyin as eff!

Valkyrie: ???

Skull: underwater levels always suck ass dude! thats like rule number 1

Panther: What?

Oracle: no no, let him cook, he has a point

Valkyrie: You know what? Fair

Valkyrie: What about you Ren? What kinda Palace do you want to see?

Joker: Hmm…

Joker: For Thieves? A casino is a must, right?

Queen: Thematically I suppose that fits

Mona: Perfectly!

Panther: Totally!

Fox: Ah, it is so like our dear leader to perfectly capture the essence of what it means to be a Phantom Thief, truly you are an inspiration to us all

Joker: alright alright!! I just guessed a location, geez!!

Oracle: poor sis still can’t handle compliments~

—

10/6, Thursday

“Patience? Who has the time?”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Skull: ugghhh im boooooooored

Queen: Can’t you at least pretend to pay attention in class?

Skull: nah, not on days we go to the palace! i just get too amped up to give a shit bout anything else

Skull: i just want school to be over with so we can get in there!!

Panther: And that’s different from how you normally are in class?

Skull: shuddup! it is different! it feels like classes take 10 times longeeerrrrrrrrr

Valkyrie: Whining will get you nowhere

Skull: who r u? makoto? 

Valkyrie: Hey, I can’t vouch for you to slack off ALL the time :P

Noir: I must admit that I’m finding it rather hard to focus on class as well. Is this how it always is for you all?

Joker: Pretty much… I’m always just counting down the seconds

Queen: Not you too…

Joker: Sorry, but it’s true

Skull: futabs ur so lucky u dont gotta go to effin school…

Oracle: mwehehe, jealous? (★ ω ★)

Skull: yeh, without a doubt

Noir: It’s ok Ryuji-kun! There’s only a few more hours left before lunch! And after that we only have a few more hours before classes are over! It’ll be here in no time! (✿◕‿◕✿)

Valkyrie: Haru is too sweet for this world, I feel like I’m going to diiiieeee

Noir: Oh, I’m sorry Shiho-chan, did I say something wrong?

Valkyrie: aboiurstg8v

Noir: I… don’t follow?

Joker: Just ignore her, you didn’t do anything wrong

Noir: If you say so, Ren-chan…

Valkyrie: Ann she’s so purreeeee

Panther: I knooowwwww!! It’s too cute!!!

Skull: now whos whinin…

Admin: Technically you’re still whining with that comment…

Skull: u

Skull: …eff, i cant even get mad at u, yuuki

Valkyrie: He’s a very pure child too!

Joker: Alright everyone, put your phones away, I can practically sense Makoto getting ready to crush her phone in her bare hands

Queen: It’s more the fact that you’re all already complaining about class when school started less than 20 minutes ago…

—

10/8, Saturday

“Dysphoria Woes and Impaled Foes”

Chat:Girls ONLY

Members: Ann, Shiho, MOST Valid Girl, Momkoto, Futaba, Haru

Haru: I’ve been thinking this for a while now, but it’s honestly surprising to me how many of the Phantom Thieves are girls!

Ann: We def outnumber the boys quite a bit lmao

Shiho: Even at the beginning we outnumbered them, Uji was our token boy until we got Yusuke

MOST Valid Girl: There are certainly plenty of people who would consider me a boy…

Ann: I’ll fight the people who think that >:T

Shiho: I think you need to read your username here again babe

MOST Valid Girl: Sorry… probably shouldn’t have said anything

Haru: Is something the matter, Ren-chan?

Futaba: i think sis is feeling dysphoric

MOST Valid Girl: Maybe a bit…

Momkoto: Is there anything we can do to help?

MOST Valid Girl: Nah, it usually passes after a while, sorry I didn’t mean to hijack the conversation

Shiho: It’s fine! We want you to share when you're feeling bad instead of bottling it up!

Futaba: did something specific happen or is it just ‘one of those days’?

MOST Valid Girl: Little bit of both

MOST Valid Girl: Woke up feeling kind of eh and then I heard one of my classmates say… well, he was using a very particular word that describes people like me and Taba

MOST Valid Girl: It wasn’t in reference to me, obviously, but… it still wasn’t pleasant to hear

Futaba: ooooohhhhhhh

Futaba: what an asshole

Ann: Wait, someone in our class?!

Shiho: Who said it?! I’ll bring my spear!!!

Momkoto: Shiho, your spear isn’t real in the real world

Shiho: I can still impale a motherfucker on it though!

Haru: Oh, are we impaling someone? That sounds fun!

Shiho: Hell yeah it is!

Momkoto: There will be no impaling of our classmates

Shiho: Awwww come on!!

Futaba: can i at least hack their phone and make it blast obnoxious music at 3 in the morning every day for 2 months straight?

Momkoto: No

Futaba: but moooommmmmm ಥ_ಥ

Momkoto: No.

Futaba: aww… (┬┬﹏┬┬)

MOST Valid Girl: …I feel like I shouldn’t say who it was now

Momkoto: That would probably be for the best

Ann: But Makotooooooo we need to make them pay for upsetting our Ren! >:T

Momkoto: I understand your anger, but we can’t just attack our classmates, regardless of how much we may want to

Shiho: Uuuggghhhhhhhhhhhhh this sucks

Shiho: What good is a spear if I can’t impale our enemies on it thouuuggghhhh

Haru: Perhaps we could simply cut off their arms and legs instead then! I have a real ax at home that I could use to make quick work of their limbs!

Momkoto: Haru… no…

Haru: Darn… I was rather looking forward to it.

MOST Valid Girl: …I think I’m starting to see why Makoto said we all need psychiatric help

Futaba: who needs therapy when you have a spear?

Shiho: Truth!

Futaba changed Shiho’s nickname to The Impaler

Futaba locked The Impaler’s nickname

The Impaler: Hell yeah!

MOST Valid Girl: Still, uh… thanks, I do feel a bit better now…

Ann: That’s what we’re here for!

Ann: Muah! <3

MOST Valid Girl: …

MOST Valid Girl: …Muah <3

—

10/9, Sunday

“The Most Dangerous Floof”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Oracle: hm (►__◄)

Fox: Pardon?

Oracle: nnnn… (￣﹏￣；)

Queen: Use your words Futaba

Oracle: i cant hold it in anymore!!!!

Oracle changed Noir’s nickname to Danger Floof

Oracle: perfection ( •̀ ω •́ )y

Joker: Futaba, no

Oracle: futaba, yes ✪ ω ✪

Queen: Oh dear…

Danger Floof: Oh! It appears that my nickname has been changed.

Skull: futabs kinda does that sometimes…

Danger Floof: I’m not quite sure what this name means, but I think it sounds rather cute!

Oracle: would u like to see more of my finest work, dear haru?

Danger Floof: I believe I would!

Joker: Please don’t encourage her…

Oracle changed nickname to ANARCHY

ANARCHY changed Joker’s nickname to submissive

submissive: Really? That’s not even creative

Panther: Kinda telling that you didn’t even try to say it wasn’t true though

submissive: That’s just… I…

ANARCHY: walked right into that one sis

submissive: At what point does this count as bullying?

Valkyrie: Oh we passed that threshold months ago :P

Danger Floof: Oh, I don’t wish to bully Ren-chan!

Skull: nah she likes this kinda bullyin

submissive: I

submissive: I’m leaving this conversation, good luck stopping her without me

Valkyrie: WOW

ANARCHY: no joker? that means anarchy reigns supreme!!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

ANARCHY changed Queen’s nickname to Mommy?

Mommy?: Futaba…

Mommy?: Why must you do this?

ANARCHY changed Valkyrie’s nickname to The Cool Leader

The Cool Leader: lmao, I always get compliments during these

ANARCHY: thats because you dont tell me change names back

Fox: Futaba is wreaking havoc amongst our chat again while Ren has stepped away… these truly are dark times

Panther: You make it sound so serious…

ANARCHY: mwehehehe! no one can stop me! (★ ω ★)

Danger Floof: I can’t help but feel as though I’ve unleashed something I should not have…

The Cool Leader: Nah, it’s fine

Admin: Oh, she’s doing it again…

ANARCHY changed Admin’s nickname to Protecc the Yuuki

Protecc the Yuuki: I… uh… thanks?

The Cool Leader: I approve

Mommy?: Futaba, change everyone's names back please

ANARCHY: i dont have to listen to you!! not while anarchy reigns supreme!!! ┻━┻ ︵ ＼( °□° )／ ︵ ┻━┻

Danger Floof: Futaba-chan, could you please change everyone’s nicknames back? I can’t help but feel like most of them do not appreciate this and I feel responsible for unleashing this catastrophe.

ANARCHY: but anarchy!

Danger Floof: I’d appreciate it if you changed everyone’s nicknames back Futaba-chan, the last thing I want is to be responsible for upsetting our teammates and the last thing you want is to be responsible for upsetting me. (✿◠‿◠)

ANARCHY: (⊙_⊙;)

ANARCHY reset nicknames

Oracle: anarchy has been contained because i am scared

Noir: Hehe, thank you Futaba-chan!

Panther: I didn’t know that second-hand fear was a thing, but I just experienced it…

Admin: Same…

Valkyrie: She truly is the most dangerous floof…

Fox: It is as though I could feel a chilling presence emanating from my phone when I read that message…

Queen: …well, thank you, Haru

Noir: It’s no problem at all Mako-chan! (✿◕‿◕✿)

20 Minutes Later

Joker: Oh you guys actually stopped her, how’d you accomplish that?

Admin: Fear…

Joker: Pardon?

Panther: Read back up…

Joker: …oh

Joker: Uh… good job Noir?

Noir: Hehe, all in a day's work Joker!

Oracle: ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

Oracle: personal log #342: do not anger the danger floof

Fox: Is it really a personal log if you post it where the rest of us can read it?

Oracle: personal log #343: inari is being annoying again

Valkyrie: I just wanna know what the other 341 logs say

Chapter Text

10/24, Monday

“Rise Together, Fall Together”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Joker: You know, I have to admit… it is a little sad to see that I’m not the top of our class for midterms…

Skull: wait for real? what place did ya get???

Joker: 5th, it was really hard to focus on them this time but it still sucks

Panther: I knoooww, I fell back down below the average line Dx

Valkyrie: Looks like we all fell together… I didn’t get top 10 this time

Admin: Yeah… I was almost below average this time…

Noir: My scores were surprisingly better than they were for finals. But seeing as how during finals I was struggling between the Madness Imprint and my own Semi-Palace? I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.

Noir: Although my scores were still quite poor overall…

Queen: You’ve had a lot going on this year Haru… You shouldn’t feel too bad about it

Noir: Don’t worry Mako-chan, I won’t. Might I ask how your scores were though? I had forgotten to check where you were on the chart.

Queen: I still placed 1st for our year, but it was certainly a lot closer this time

Oracle: jeez even during times like this you get top of the class???

Panther: It’s so unfair…

Valkyrie: You know you could just study more babe…

Panther: I know but that’s boring! Plus we’ve got all kinds of other stuff going on lately!

Fox: I must admit, I am rather curious as to where Ryuji placed this time around

Oracle: i think i can imagine where he placed ←_←

Skull: hey!!

Oracle: am i wrong? (¬_¬ )

Skull: eff off futabs, i actually placed higher this time than i did for finals!

Oracle: for real? (⊙_⊙;)

Skull: yeh, i actually placed sorta close to where ann did

Panther: Wait, really?! :o

Noir: That’s great Ryuji-kun! (✿◕‿◕✿)

Skull: its just cuz prez has been helpin me study n stuff, thats all…

Queen: It’s still impressive that your scores have improved so much, even with my help, it shows that you’ve been putting a lot of work in on your own

Panther: Totally!

Valkyrie: Now Ann’s gonna have to work harder to not drop down to the lowest ranking Phantom Thief :P

Panther: Hey!! Don’t say that!!

Queen: If you need help studying Ann, I’d be more than happy to help

Panther: Ugghhh, fiiiine, I guess I could use the help…

Oracle: youre all just lucky i dont go to school, otherwise id beat makotos scores for sure ✪ ω ✪

Valkyrie: Honestly it’d be pretty funny if Futaba did go to Shujin, then our team would have the highest scoring 1st, 2nd and 3rd year students :o

Oracle: the 3 brain cells of the phantom thieves!!!

Joker: I thought you said before that Makoto was our only brain cell

Oracle: depends on the day tbh

Joker: You said that like an hour ago…

Fox: I believe we all possess brains actually, after all, we surely would not be able to survive without them

Oracle: (¬_¬ ; )

—

10/25, Tuesday

“Maid with Love”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Panther: Seems like everyone enjoyed our little surprise btw so here you go!

Panther sent an image

Joker: …I can’t even be surprised anymore that you always take pictures of me

Valkyrie: Of course she was going to take a pic of you in a maid dress :P

Noir: You did look quite cute Ren-chan!

Joker: asbjuh 

Oracle: makoto and ryuji instantly saved that pic as soon as ann sent it btw, guess they really liked sis in that outfit (￣y▽￣)

Skull: the hell?! dont rat me out like that futabs!!!

Valkyrie: lmao

Queen: I just

Queen: It’s a very nice picture is all

Oracle: very convincing, 10/10 excuse

Panther: You know, I sort of figured Ryuji would be the type to be into the whole maid aesthetic, but I’m kinda surprised that Makoto is into that as well :o

Valkyrie: A Queen does need servants I suppose

Joker: …Are you saying that I’m her servant?

Valkyrie: You say that as if you wouldn’t like it :P

Panther: Let’s test it! Makoto! Give Ren some orders to follow! :3

Joker: …

Queen: …

Noir: There’s no need to be embarrassed, Mako-chan! Everyone has different tastes!

Queen: I can assure you that it wasn’t so much the maid aspect of it that I liked…

Panther: Ooohhh, it was just the fact that Ren looked super pretty when she was all dressed up like that, right? :3

Queen: That… is correct

Joker: alsihbgoeti

Valkyrie: Face it babe, you’re like… really hot, you stunned most of our team when we saw you

Oracle: im sure moral support is still processing his new-found feelings of love and lust after seeing sis dressed up like a maid ✪ ω ✪

Admin: WHAT?!

Skull: u were completely frozen for like 3 minutes dude, i think futabs actually has a point this time

Admin: Please stop talking…

Fox: I will say, it wasn’t solely her looks that had amazed me, her confidence was quite striking as well

Skull: yeh, true, confident renren is… wow

Valkyrie: Yeah, she was super hot

Joker: aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Joker: Stop!!

Valkyrie: It’s true though!

Oracle: u know, maybe you should model with ann sometime (¬‿¬)

Panther: !!!!!

Panther: That’s a great idea!!! You totally should!!! You’d be great at it!!!

Panther: I think I already know the perfect outfit you could wear for a photoshoot!!!

Joker: FUTABA!!!

Oracle: b(￣▽￣)d

—

10/26, Wednesday

“Afterparty: A Recap”

Chat:Phantom Chat

Members: Joker, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Mona, Noir

Valkyrie: So, really funny thing happened at the afterparty that I think you guys might get a kick out of

Queen: Must you inform the others?

Fox: Ah, you two are dating now?

Valkyrie: Yes, but that’s not what I was going to say

Admin: How did you call that?

Fox: Makoto frequently reacts like that when she is flustered by the beginning of a new relationship

Queen: …am I that predictable?

Panther: No more than Ren is :P BUT!! What happened when you 2 got together? :o

Valkyrie: Right, so, we were making out

Queen: THAT IS UNNECESSARY TO SHARE

Valkyrie: It’s hardly a surprise that we kissed? But, while we were making out, Ren and Haru came running up to the roof where we were hiding out, right?

Skull: u guys were on the roof?

Fox: Was it not rather chilly up there?

Valkyrie: Yes but that’s beside the point, stop distracting me!!! >:T

Skull: sorry…

Fox: My apologies

Valkyrie: Now then, ahem, it turns out that Ren and Haru ALSO started dating! At almost the same time and at the same place as us!

Oracle: wait so who got together first???

Valkyrie: Me and Makoto did first, but Ren and Haru were only a few minutes behind

Noir: It was quite amusing that we all wound up at the same place!

Panther: You also did something incredible before that Haru…

Noir: Oh? What are you referring to?

Panther: Uh… when you shouted “WILL YOU DATE ME?!” at Ren when she was on stage!

Joker: You were there for that?!?!

Fox: Ann and I were resting up on the upper level balcony of the gym all evening, we witnessed Yoshizawa’s dance as well

Fox: Both events were quite beautiful moments to witness

Skull: renren got called on stage???

Noir: She did, it was for the sharing special and the host had actually asked about the Phantom Thieves… I needed to change the subject, and that was the only thing I could think of at the time.

Joker: It honestly made it even more embarrassing…

Noir: I’m sorry Ren-chan…

Joker: No, it’s fine, I mean… I’m glad you said it because now we were able to get together, you know?

Noir: Well that is a relief to hear! (✿◠‿◠)

Joker: <3

Panther: Awwww

Oracle: while you plebs were all kissin and doin all that weird romance stuff i was roaming the halls of your school, collecting intel!

Skull: u say weird romance stuff as if you dont actively ship some of us futabs

Oracle: irrelevant!

Mona: Also, by ‘collecting intel’ she means drawing over the doodle of Akechi in Ren’s classroom…

Oracle: it was VERY important intel!

Valkyrie: lmao

Panther: So we know where pretty much everyone was now :o what about you Ryuji? What did you do during the post-festival party?

Skull: i uh

Valkyrie: I also wanna know what Yuuki did! I hope it wasn’t too bad for you

Admin: Well, I

Fox: Hm? They both seem to have frozen in their responses…

Panther: Hmmmmmm…

Oracle: ←_← what could they have been doing?

Skull: dont worry bout it!!! i mean like, i just wandered round n shit, ya know?

Skull: right yuuki?

Admin: We’re dating

Skull: DUDE!!!

Admin: I panicked!! I’m sorry!!!

Valkyrie: alskjrbt

Panther: !!! you 2 got together as well???

Skull: …yeh

Fox: Ah, that would certainly explain your bashful attitude about this evening

Oracle: 3 new couples formed??? damn talk about a crazy night…

Fox: Truly it was a night filled with love it would seem

Valkyrie: The polycule continues to GROW!

DM:Inari

Inari: I believe you owe me 2000 yen for correctly guessing that Shiho and Makoto would be the next to date, by the way

Futaba: (＃°Д°)

Futaba: cant i get half credit since my bet got together a few mins later???

Inari: I do not believe that is how this works

Futaba: stupid frickin inari…

Futaba: fine!! im done betting with you though! youre too good at this!!

Inari: A shame, I was quite looking forward to buying more art supplies

Futaba: (¬_¬")

DM:Big Sis

Big Sis: So did you win your bet with Yusuke?

Futaba: huh?!

Big Sis: You know, your bet about who was going to start dating next?

Futaba: you told me to not bet on that anymore???

Big Sis: And you didn’t listen to me

Futaba: (⊙_⊙;) how did you know?

Big Sis: I wasn’t born yesterday Taba, now, did you win?

Futaba: uhhhh, nope… i guessed u and haru but inari guessed shiho and makoto

Big Sis: RIP, maybe you should have listened to me after all, huh?

Futaba: (┬┬﹏┬┬) yeah…

—

10/28, Friday

“What He Deserves”

Chat:Chaos Thieves

Futaba created chat

Futaba renamed chat to Chaos Thieves

Futaba added Shiho, Ryuji

Futaba: greetings my fellow akechi haters!

Ryuji: uhhh tf is this???

Futaba: this, my dear ryuji, is our chat where were gonna figure out how to annoy asskechi as much as humanly possible (★ ω ★)

Shiho: Not that I’m directly opposed to that, but… why?

Futaba: if we have to play nice with him i at least want to pester him and make his time spent with us as annoying for him as it is for us!!!

Ryuji: hell yeah! count me in!!

Shiho: I feel like as one of our leaders I should be against this…

Futaba: you should be, but the question is… are you?

Shiho: Hmmm…

Ryuji: c’mon that dickhead is workin with the conspiracy, the least he deserves is futabs pissin him off at every opportunity, right?

Shiho: …

Futaba: think of how funny itll be to see him get pissed off but still have to act all prim and proper with us!! ✪ ω ✪

Shiho: God dammit that does sound really funny…

Shiho: Alright, I’m in

Ryuji: hell yeah!!!

Futaba: mwehehehe, he will regret ever messing with us by the time were done!! ( •̀ ω •́ )y

Futaba changed nickname to Master Gremlin

Futaba changed Shiho’s nickname to Stabby Gremlin

Futaba changed Ryuji’s nickname to Loud Gremlin

Stabby Gremlin: So then, what’s our first plan Master Gremlin?

Master Gremlin: i say we start small! then, over time? well slowly ramp up more and more!

Loud Gremlin: uh, sure, but like… what do we do?

Master Gremlin: i have a few ideas, simply follow my lead whenever i talk in that group chat with him in it ( •̀ ω •́ )y

Chapter Text

10/30, Sunday

“Rules are Rules”

Chat:Boy’s Club

Members: Ryuji, Yusuke, Yuuki

Ryuji: shit i just realized somethin…

Yusuke: Oh?

Ryuji: yuuki, u aint a guy anymore

Yuuki: Yeah… that’s right

Yuuki: Um… why do you ask?

Ryuji kicked Yuuki from the chat

Ryuji: its boys only

Yusuke: Perhaps you should have said that before removing them?

Ryuji: nah its fine ill dm em

Yusuke: Hm, and now there are only two of us here…

Ryuji: uggghhhhhhhhhh i really dont wanna do this…

Yusuke: Oh?

Ryuji: but rules are rules…

Ryuji added Akechi

Akechi: Sakamoto-san? What is this?

Ryuji: this is the guys chat for the phantom thieves n like… i guess u r 1 of us for now so u gotta get added here…

Akechi: You do not sound particularly fond of that idea.

Ryuji: yeh cause i aint, but rules are rules

Akechi: I see… Well then, I am happy to be included I suppose.

Yusuke: For what it is worth I am glad to include you within our chat, Akechi

Akechi: I appreciate that, Kitagawa-san.

Akechi: Might I ask a question though? What, exactly, is the purpose of this chat that cannot be accomplished in the main one?

Yusuke: It is for discussions that we do not wish for our teammates that are of the feminine alignment to hear

Akechi: I mean, I had inferred as much, I was more asking what exact sorts of topics that entails?

Ryuji: uuuggggghhhhhhhhh can u 2 stop talkin all fancy like that?!

Yusuke: Apologies

Ryuji: for ur question? idk we just kinda talk bout whatever!

Akechi: Not the most descriptive answer, I suppose I shall simply have to witness this channel myself and deduce what the purpose of it is.

Ryuji: uuugghhh i really hate the rules…

—

11/2, Wednesday

“Totally Baseless Rumors”

Chat:The Phantom Thieves

Members: Joker, Mona, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Noir, Crow

Oracle: you know akechi i heard something interesting about you online the other day

Crow: Oh? I wouldn’t put too much stock in what the public says, but might I inquire about what you learned specifically?

Chat:Chaos Thieves

Members: Master Gremlin, Stabby Gremlin, Loud Gremlin

Loud Gremlin: god i effin hate the way that guy talks

Master Gremlin: same tbh

Chat:The Phantom Thieves

Oracle: people were speculating that you had a girlfriend

Crow: A girlfriend? How preposterous, I certainly don’t have nearly enough time for a relationship.

Oracle: yeh i know, but people were pretty convincing honestly

Oracle: they kept talking about how frequently you were seen hanging out with some girl

Chat:Chaos Thieves

Stabby Gremlin: Oh god, is this going where I think it’s going???

Master Gremlin: probably (★ ω ★)

Chat:The Phantom Thieves

Crow: Might I ask how they described this woman? I would rather like to know how a misconception like this could become seemingly widespread.

Oracle: sure, uh… lets see

Oracle: they were saying she was kinda short, or at least, shorter than you, with super long black hair and glasses???

Oracle: a lot of people were talking about how pretty she was too

Fox: That sounds rather familiar…

Oracle: people online were saying it was ‘SO obvious with the way he looks at her’ and ‘theyre totally SO in love!’, stuff like that

Crow: I see…

Panther: A girl that spends time with Akechi and has long black hair and glasses?!?!

Panther: Do people online think Akechi and Ren are dating?!

Joker: HUH?!

Queen: That… would seem likely

Chat:Chaos Thieves

Stabby Gremlin: lmao, everyone bought it

Chat:The Phantom Thieves

Noir: Oh my!

Fox: To think that such rumors could spread around involving our leader…

Oracle: yeh, its kinda wild, lots of people are like SUPER convinced that akechi is in love with her

Crow: Sakura-san.

Oracle: they keep gushing about how he looks at her and how much they wish hed look at them like that

Crow: I believe that is enough Sakura-san.

Oracle: i saw this one person gushing about how jealous they were of her because it was ‘SO beyond obvious that hes either dating her or in love with her, hes like, totally smitten, its super adorable’

Joker: Futaba!

Crow: Sakura-san, cease this at once, it will not do us any good to continually discuss such baseless rumors.

Oracle: oh, i thought you wanted to know about it?

Crow: I had, but you explained it quite thoroughly already, there is no need to continue discussing these false rumors you read online.

Oracle: fiiiine (* ￣︿￣)

Crow: I appreciate it.

Panther: Awwww I wanted to know more!!

Joker: Ann…

Crow: Takamaki-san, that is most unnecessary.

Panther: It’s totally necessary! :3

Chat:Chaos Thieves

Master Gremlin: mission complete!!

—

11/4, Friday

“Societal Norms”

Chat:The Phantom Thieves

Members: Joker, Mona, Skull, Panther, Valkyrie, Fox, Queen, Admin, Oracle, Noir, Crow

Valkyrie: So guess which 2 lovebirds we stumbled upon today? :3c

Queen: Must you always tell everyone…

Valkyrie: Yes

Panther: Yes

Oracle: yes

Oracle: wait what are we talking about???

Panther: We’re talking about how Makoto and Ryuji are dating now!!

Skull: dude!!!!

Noir: Oh! Congratulations you two! (✿◠‿◠)

Skull: thnx haru…

Valkyrie: Uji always gets so shy whenever he starts a new relationship >w< it’s so cute!

Skull: shuddup!!!

Crow: Niijima-san and Sakamoto-san, hm? That’s certainly not a pairing I had imagined. Although I must admit that I was under the impression that Niijima-san and Amamiya-san were together.

Queen: We are both also dating Ren as a matter of fact

Valkyrie: The Phantom Polycule continues to grow! :D

Crow: A polycule? Might I inquire as to what that is?

Joker: It’s the term for a cluster of polyamorous relationships, basically a bunch of us are dating each other and we’re all aware of it and ok with it

Valkyrie: First was Ren, Ann, Uji and myself getting together :3

Fox: Then I had begun dating each of them around the time of summer myself

Panther: Yup! And now Makoto is dating all 4 of us original polycule members :3

Crow: I see… How fascinating.

Crow: It would seem that the Phantom Thieves fly in the face of societal norms in more ways than one.

Oracle: screw social norms! anarchy rules!!! ╰（‵□′）╯

Fox: We simply believe that so long as none of us are opposed to such a thing? There isn’t an issue in the slightest with any of us pursuing more than one romantic interest

Mona: You all should have seen how the 1st 4 of you danced around it, it was annoyingly obvious how much you were all into each other

Valkyrie: Yeah well none of us had ever been in a poly relationship before! So it was pretty nerve wracking!

Mona: Still, it was SO obvious that it was annoying!

Fox: I had been under the impression the four of you were already together when I had joined the team originally

Oracle: inari continues to be weirdly perceptive about this stuff >_>;

Fox: You have my thanks

Oracle: (¬_¬")

Noir: Oh I certainly hope people don’t start spreading more rumors about Akechi-kun because of us! After all, if people think Ren-chan and Akechi-kun are dating and they see Ren-chan with anyone that she is actually dating in public they might get the wrong idea!

Queen: That’s actually a good point, considering the intensity of Akechi’s fanbase at the moment? That could be quite a nuisance for us to have to deal with…

Queen: Maybe we’ll need to be a bit more private about our relationships in public to avoid that outcome

Crow: There is no need, Sakura-san had actually been making up those rumors herself.

Panther: Wait what???

Crow: I had looked into these rumors after Sakura-san had brought them up and yet I could not find any of these ‘plethora’ of posts that believed I was romantically involved with Amamiya-san.

Crow: As such I gathered that she was falsifying them for one reason or another. Though the particular reason for it eludes me.

Queen: Futaba.

Oracle: uuuhhhhhhh

Joker: FUTABA!!

Oracle: ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴ i plead the 5th

Crow: That is an American law, not a Japanese law, so it does not apply in this circumstance Sakura-san.

Oracle: ←_←;

Oracle: fine! uhhh… telling the truth is another societal norm we ignore as phantom thieves????

Queen: …

Joker: …

Valkyrie: RIP Futaba

Skull: rip

Panther: RIP

Admin: RIP

Noir: Rest in peace?

Fox: I bid you a peaceful afterlife Futaba Sakura

Crow: Truly I do not understand your antics.

Fox: To whom are you referring? Futaba or those of us wishing that she rests in peace?

Crow: Yes.

—

11/5, Saturday