Chapter Text
Sakura looked at him blankly, then returned her attention to her tea. She took a long drink, swallowing the liquid heavily and sighed.
Sasuke waited. He was hoping that she would agree to his terms. He couldn’t give her the happiness she wanted—or deserved for that matter. How much easier her life would be if she tried to move on. If she found happiness with someone else, Sasuke wouldn’t have to feel guilty anymore.
After a minute, Sakura met his eyes with just as much boldness as he had looked at her a second ago. “I’m sorry Sasuke. I would rather you ignore me than admit that I would give up on you. For as long as you care for me, I will wait.”
Irritation like a developing fire burned throughout his body and in order to calm himself, Sasuke took a long drink of the medicinal tea before saying, “What makes you think I care for you? I tried to kill you. And have done much more, since then.”
That statement didn’t have the desired effect like he had hoped. She only continued to stare at him squarely and asked, “Did I not try to kill you first?”
“You didn’t go through with it,” he dismissed her. “I was prepared to kill you. I wouldn’t have pulled back, Sakura. If it weren’t for Kakashi and Naruto—” he looked away, too ashamed to look at her.
That day burned a hole in his memory and he hated to recall it. It was one of the days that Sasuke regretted most and appeared often in his nightmares. Not only did he fully intend to kill Karin, that day, but Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi, too. He had wanted them all dead. It didn’t matter to him that he had once had bonds with them. At that time, all Sasuke could see was his goal of destroying the leaf village and everyone in it. Sakura had arrived right before he was about to send a chidori through the red-haired kunoichi from team Taka, whom he had sacrificed in order to kill Danzo. Although it was a ploy to kill him, Sakura had arrived on the scene, begging to join him in his quest for revenge. He had demanded for her to kill Karin in order to gain his trust, but he ended up aiming a chidori at Sakura’s back instead. Fortunately, Kakashi had followed her and stopped him before he could deliver the blow. After battling with his former sensei, his vision suddenly had failed and Sakura had used the opportunity to strike him. She had paused, unable to commit herself to go through with killing him. At the time, he had considered her weak, and in his hatred, had grabbed her by the neck, stealing her kunai and aiming it at her. If Naruto hadn’t jumped in, she would be dead. He undoubtedly would have killed her. If neither of them had interfered, Sasuke wouldn’t be sitting here, talking to her, eating the food and drinking the tea that Saskura had made him.
He placed his forehead in his palm at the thought. What would he be doing now, if she had been killed by his hand?
A small weight rested on his shoulder, and with her comforting hand, came her reply. “You’ve already apologized for your past. There’s no need to bring it up, now. You’re not that person anymore. You’re the Sasuke I remember.”
Lifting his head, he widened his eyes and pulled away from her touch, snapping, “And you’re naïve. What reason have I given you to make you believe that? What makes you so sure, to dismiss everything I’ve done despite my pathetic apology to you?”
She pulled her arm back towards her own body, saying, “For starters, you saved Chino and her followers from the path of revenge. But that’s not all. You’re doing so much for the village just by investigating Kaguya.”
He remained silent, staring down at his fisted hand around the cup, forcing it to relax. How could she possibly use those actions to justify everything? Why couldn’t she just hate him? That’s what he deserved. Despite taking a journey to atone for his sins, Sasuke still felt undeserving of the love that his friends had for him. Even though he had changed drastically, becoming more like his former self, Sasuke kept seeing his sins as unforgivable.
Interrupting his thoughts, Sakura suddenly added, “You also came for me.”
“What?” he asked, completely unaware what she was talking about.
“Try to deny it all you want, but I saw you that day. The day that Kido kidnapped me. You came to save me.”
Sasuke found himself suddenly remembering another day. He had been receiving rumors that he had been recently sighted dealing with missing-nin in order to devise a plot against the Konohagakure, but didn’t think twice about it. He hadn’t done such a thing and he would leave it to the Leaf to handle things on their own. He was just a few steps away from getting closer to the time-space dimension where Kaguya had once resided, that he’d be damned if something came up now to distract him. Just before he was about to use the Rinnegan, he saw an unfamiliar hawk flying towards him in the distance. As he had reached up with his arm, the bird landed firmly and Sasuke retrieved and read the note it was carrying. Someone named Kido claimed to be holding Sakura as a hostage, threatening to kill her if he didn’t make an appearance in the village. Sasuke had clutched the note and his hands had gone white. He had cursed, spun on his heel, and had never taken flight as swiftly as he did in that moment.
Arriving on the scene that day, Sasuke encountered several Anbu who were fleeing from the village, headed in his direction. Sasuke had noticed tailed beast chakra surrounding them and instantly used his Fire Release to encircle them in a ring of fire. Coming through the flames, Sharingan activated, the Uchiha had placed them all under a genjutsu. By using the Sharingan, Sasuke was able to acquire the information he wanted. They had all been Kido’s subordinates and he watched their memories play out, learning of Kido’s plan to use Sasuke for his Sharingan drug, the tailed-beast chakra capsules, and Sakura’s capture. He had grabbed one of the men by the collar, roughly pulling him in closer as he watched the man’s memories of Sakura play in his mind. Sasuke saw what they had said to her, how they had caught her, and watched as a copy of himself walked up to her and mocked her on Kido’s orders. It was hard to finish watching the memories play out after that, but he allowed it to continue, soon finding relief in them as he watched Sakura escape and take Kido on, herself. He re-lived this particular man’s panic as Kido’s subordinates got the alarm that Kido’s chakra had suddenly diminished which indicated his defeat, cueing their flight from the village.
After this, Sasuke had released the man, catching a feel of his former teammates’ chakra coming towards him, including Sakura’s. She had been alive and Sasuke couldn’t help but feel foolish for not having enough faith in her abilities. He had shown up to save her, only to find that he had not been needed after all. He had been relieved but annoyed at the same time, having left Kaguya’s trail. Knowing that Sakura was well and safe, he didn’t waste a second, bounding off into the woods once again in search for what he had left behind.
Leaning his head back, Sasuke drank the last of the tea, resigning himself to the last of its calming effects. After a minute, he said, “You saved yourself. I did nothing for you.”
She was smiling again, and Sasuke wondered if it was because she knew he couldn’t back his way out of this one. Finally, she said, “Even though you were a little late, you still came. This is how I know you care.”
His eyes widened slightly and he turned to look at her. Was that why he had gone after her? Yes, he had been worried for her and Sasuke couldn’t help but admit to himself that the bonds he had once had with his friends, he was trying to restore on some level. Yes, Sasuke supposed he could say with honesty that he cared for them now, like he had used to before being consumed in darkness. He couldn’t exactly say he would be in this very room, if he didn’t. But if he confirmed that now, admitting this to Sakura, he knew she would never stop waiting for him. He couldn’t have that. So instead, he said absolutely nothing.
“There’s one other thing, that has given me hope,” she said with a smile, leaning towards him. Before he could even ask, he felt a small tap on his forehead and a small breath escaped him as her fingers pulled away from his forehead. She stood then, grabbing the empty cups from the table, laughing at Sasuke’s expression of shock. She walked away from him, leaving Sasuke to rub his forehead and revisit the hundreds of memories that came with the familiar gesture.
A scene came to his mind. Leaving the village had been easy, but saying goodbye to his friends had been a little more difficult. Sakura had once again expressed her desire to go with him on his journey, looking embarrassed and afraid of rejection. Sasuke had told her that she had nothing to do with his sins, and of course she had been disheartened. In that moment, he had walked up to her and poked her forehead, reassuring her that he would be back soon.
Ah, he thought. He supposed he was making a habit of using that gesture with her. Well, he would have to be less transparent with her in the future. He sighed, hoping that wouldn’t be too hopeless.
.
.
.
Sasuke roused to the sound of loud banging and without realizing exactly where he was, he threw the mass that was on top of him away from him and reached out in the dark for his katana. Grabbing firmly onto the sword’s hilt, he aimed it towards the direction of the noise. After a hazy second of confusion, Sasuke realized he was in Sakura’s living room, having just jumped off the couch and practically destroyed the blankets and pillows that were now sprawled across the room. As the day’s previous memories returned to him, he snapped his head towards the source of the jarring noise and realized it was coming from the door.
“Sakura-san! Sakura-san! Are you in there?!,” someone yelled from outside, pounding as if they could break the door down.
Sasuke moved angrily towards the door in his stupor, wondering why someone would be creating such an uproar in the middle of the night like this. Just as he was about to throw open the door and aim his sword in their direction, Sakura came bursting out from the bedroom down the hall.
“What is it?! What’s going on?!” she demanded as she ran towards him, wrapping a cloak firmly around herself to conceal her nightclothes. Sasuke was instantly released from his leftover sleep when he saw this, looking immediately away from her.
The noise came again, along with the frantic shouting, “Sakura-san! Hello?! Damn it!”
Sasuke was right behind her whenever Sakura’s hand finally made connection with the door’s handle and he watched as she threw open the door to reveal a young ninja dressed in the standard medic colors of cream and red.
“Oh, thank goodness,” the man exclaimed at the sight of her, panting heavily.
“Fumio?” Sakura gasped, “What in the world is going on?”
The man faulted in his frantic breathing for a second when he suddenly noticed Sasuke’s glare over Sakura’s shoulder. Reflecting on it later, Sasuke supposed he did look rather severe with his weapon drawn and his face expressing his extreme desire to punch this man in the face.
The ninja redirected his attention back to Sakura and remembering his panic, managed to stumble out, “There’s been an emergency. We need you, immediately.”
“Go,” Sakura demanded, speaking in an authoritative voice that Sasuke didn’t recognize. “I’ll be right behind you! You can update me on the way.”
She didn’t even take a second to close the door before she was running back down the corridor towards her bedroom, nearly giving Sasuke whip-lash as he tried to follow her movements.
“Sasuke,” he heard her call from the bedroom, “I don’t have time to be formal with you, right now, so I’ll just say it.”
Sasuke made to move down the hall towards her voice but stopped when she retreated from the bedroom, now clad in her medical garb. She took his arm and pushed something cold into his palm. He raised his hand and unwrapped his fingers, finding himself looking down at a small silver key.
“I want you to stay here while you are in Konoha,” she said resolutely.
Sasuke’s eyes widened and he instantly thrusted the key back at her but she had already walked past him and was now proceeding to slip on her shoes by the door.
“No—” Sasuke began seriously, about to tell her that he couldn't—wouldn't—didn’t want to stay here. He had just stayed the one night because of the storm and that was all. He didn’t manage to speak a word of this before Sakura interrupted him.
“Look,” she said, slipping on her lab coat that had been hanging next to her red rain jacket. “This is an offer with no strings attached. I understand you are leaving and you don’t plan to stay. But for as long as you are in the village, let me help you as a friend.”
She turned to face him then, using one second of her time to level him with her determined demeanor.
Before Sasuke could register what she had said, the door was slammed as Sakura made her hurried exit. Looking down at his palm again, he sighed and fisted the key.
Damn it.