Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“How do you think I should win over Joan?”

Topher sat in his bedroom, at his computer while Abe was on the edge of his bed, endlessly scrolling on Topher's phone.

The two of them had been at this for hours, talking back and forth while on the internet. Abe had learned earlier that day that Joan had made a social media account, of which she and her friends had posted pictures of her back-to-back.

Topher had grown used to Abes’ whining over her by now, that hadn’t meant he still didn’t get annoyed by it, but he grew to expect this topic of conversation.

“That depends entirely on her interests, what does Joan even like?”

He looked over at Abe, leaning his arm on the back of his chair.

“She likes.. Uh..” He watched the other fumble over his words, struggling to think of an answer, “Politics! Joan loves sticking it to the man.”

Topher stared blankly, before letting out a huff of air, “Yeah, you’re not right for her.” he turned back to the screen, a smirk plastered on his lips.

Abe groaned, throwing himself backwards onto the bed, looking at a picture of Joan more closely on the phone.

Touch screens still confused him, and his fingers were ultimately too big to do much with them. Still, he always asked Topher to pull up Joans’ account, just so he can get a look. He tried zooming in on the photo, just like Topher tried teaching him how to do.

Instead, he liked the post.

Almost instantly, Abe screamed, throwing the phone on the bed as he sprung up.

“Topher, Topher!”

The other boy jumped at the loud noise, turning around quickly to watch Abe jump around nervously.

“Quiet down! What is your problem?”

“The- the picture! I liked it.”

Topher frowned, rolling his eyes, “So? Who cares, everyone loves attention.”

Abe instantly fell to his knees, crawling over to him, “I care! If I liked the post, Joan will find out! Then she’ll think I was stalking her account!”

Topher grimaced as Abe put his hands on his shoulders, his ears straining from the high pitched panic. With a sigh, he pulled the other boys’ hands off of him, “Don’t worry, it’s not like it was even your account, it was-” he froze instantly, dread overcoming his features, “mine.. Abe, you idiot!”

He quickly ran over to the bed, picking his phone up. He unliked the post as quickly as possible, despite already knowing the notification was sent.

Letting out a sigh, he hung his head, “Thank you, Abe. Now Joan will think I was the one looking through her page.”

“I didn’t mean to! Maybe she won't even notice?”

Topher glared, watching Abe anxiously bite at his nails. No, he knew she would, she wasn’t exactly that popular. Her amount of friends isn’t that much, once she sees he is sure she will check out his account and notice who he is.

“She definitely will, you don’t think she’s stupid do you? Have some standards for the girl you supposedly have a crush on.”

Abe blinked, before quickly shaking his head, “No, of course she’s not stupid. I just- I meant that the whole smartphone thing is still so confusing to me so maybe it is for her too!”

They stared at each other for a moment, one in exasperation and the other in hope, and as Topher began to open his mouth to respond in surely a snarky way, his phone dinged.

Topher exchanged glances with both the phone and with Abe, the notification showing a message request.

“Oh my God, what did I tell you? I told you, and that was only in a few seconds.”

Abe began to apologize profusely again, going to sit next to him on the bed.

The other groaned, going to accept the request. They both watched Joan type, for what felt like ages, until the bubble disappeared and up popped letters. A question, asking Topher something he had no idea how to explain without throwing Abe under the bus.

Why are you looking at my account?

He’s done for, absolutely screwed, and it was all thanks to his ridiculous horrible new friend, who couldn’t spend the time to get his own phone, or his own account, or smaller less stupid fingers!

“I’m telling her. I’m going to tell Joan it was you, I’m not letting her think I was looking.”

Abe instantly shrieked, reaching for his phone. The two scuffled on the bed, one trying to keep the phone while the other tried to take it, almost falling off in the process.

“You can’t tell her, please just think of a lie! Make something up, please!”

Topher instantly scoffed, struggling to keep the device in his hand, “Why would I do that? It’s your fault, you think of something!”

“I’m not a good liar!”

“Oh, and I suppose that’s supposed to mean I am?!”

“Compared to me, well-”

“Fine, just get off of me!”

Abe instantly let go, Topher breathing heavily while glaring at him. His frown twitched, before he turned his attention back to the screen, thinking of what to type.

“What’re you going to tell her?”

“Does it look like I’m typing right now? I don’t know!”

Topher was shaking in anger, sweat dripping from his forehead. What exactly was he going to say? People typically look at someone's account when they like the person, or at least are friends. He doesn’t relate to either of those things.

No doubt, if Joan were to ask someone herself, they would try telling her that he liked her. The very thought made him feel sick, he wanted nothing to do with her.

It was bad enough he had to deal with hearing about her all the time from Abe, he’d rather die than be speaking to her right now. This was all Abes’ fault anyways, he’s always looking at her account with his phone, and he has never done this before until now.

Suddenly, a thought came to his mind. It would ultimately ruin one thing for him, but it would ruin multiple things for Abe. The best revenge, that he could think of at least.

He began to type, hunching over as Abe tried to read his screen. His thumbs padded against the screen, before hitting send, smirking smugly as he slowly looked at Abe.

“So, what’d you send?”

“Go ahead, take a look.” He held the phone out towards him, awaiting to see his reaction.

There on the screen, was a sentence that Abe had sincerely not been expecting.

sorry, my boyfriend was telling me about you and i got curious.

He blinked a few times, reading it over and over again hoping he saw wrong, and when the letters weren’t changing, his eyes widened.

“Topher, what the hell?!”

The other took his phone back, the smirk still plastered on his face, “Relax, I didn’t say who my ‘boyfriend’ was, but if she asks…”

Abe frowned, instantly upset. Joan couldn’t think that Topher and him were dating, then she would never get with him.

“Why would you do that? It was an honest mistake, I swear!”

“Yeah well, your honest mistake was going to get Joan believing that I was interested in her,” Topher grimaced up at him, “which, I’m not. Besides, did you want me to tell her it was you who was snooping?”

The other rubbed the back of his neck, “It would be better than her thinking we’re dating.”

Topher shrugged, his phone dinging again. Both of their attention instantly went to it, Topher quickly replying before Abe could try and grab it again.

“You told her it was me, didn’t you.”

“Sure did.”

“Isn’t your account anonymous anyways?”

“Abe, please. My username is literally top-her69, it doesn’t really ward off those who know my name.”

He instantly hung his head, burrowing it in the palms of his hands. He was doomed, Joan was going to think he was dating Topher, and for what? Just because of an accident? Some friend that short little weirdo was.

“Look, it’s not all that bad. Maybe this could be your chance,” Abe instantly perked up, a questioning noise at the back of his throat, “if Joan thinks you’re dating someone, maybe she’ll do something about it.”

Topher pocketed his phone, leaning against the wall his bed was near.

“A lot of girls act this way. Once someone is unattainable, it’s all they want- don’t go telling people I said that though.”

Abe hummed, weighing his options. If he were to tell Joan that Topher was lying, or well- joking, he’d then have to explain the real reason to it. On the other hand, Topher was right in a way. He’s seen a ton of movies where girls acted that way, so if he weren’t single, Joan would show some interest right?

Honestly, this was all impractical, but he had run out of options in trying to win her over. Something had to stick, and he supposed this was the one thing he hadn’t tried yet; a last resort, in a way.

“Well, fine, but we’ll have to figure out the whole backstory to this. Joan would never believe something like this so quickly, she’s going to ask questions, so we need to flesh this out.”

Topher shrugged, standing up to walk back towards his computer, “That’s fine by me.”

Abe nodded, before pausing, “Wait, what’s in this for you anyways?”

The other frowned, taking a moment to think about it. Truthfully, there really wasn’t anything for him in the long term. He had just wanted to get out of Joan having any fraction of a thought that he was interested in her, he supposed that was enough.

“I’d rather die than Joan, or anyone, thinking I like her.”

“Why’s that thought? Joan’s a great person.”

Topher sat back down in his chair, “She’s not really my type.” Abe made a noise behind him, one he could only pick up as confusion.

“Are you sure? I figured you would be into a girl like her, you’re all ‘woke’ these days right?”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “What is that supposed to mean? Are you implying that Joan isn’t attractive to everyone?”

Abe shrugged, “Well, she certainly isn’t to you, apparently.”

Topher couldn’t exactly argue with that, so he just put his attention back onto the internet. The two of them sat in silence for a good while, the situation settling into the pits of their stomachs.

Abe just stared at the ceiling, not asking for the phone back after everything. He was sure he wouldn’t be given it anyways, so he let it go.

Joan thinks he’s dating someone now, and if she used her head she would know it was Topher. That thought made him squirm, just a bit. He couldn’t imagine dating someone like him, let alone a man in the first place.

He’ll have to just tell her that he’s confused, or was confused, and wanted to figure it out. Once he gets her, of course.

The logic wasn’t entirely sound, but the point of lying was to mess with the brain. Topher seemed confident, so surely it should work. Joan was just as indecisive as he was, if growing up with her was anything to go by.

Of course, this would all require Joan to actually like him enough in the first place for this to work. It would ultimately be all for nothing if that wasn’t the case.

Like he said, Joan would have questions. How they got together, why they got together, if Abe liked men (he didn’t), just a bunch of questions he currently doesn’t have the answer to. They have to go to school tomorrow, so everything should be figured out by tonight.

Abe sat up, watching Topher type away at his keyboard, before he sighed and stood, walking over.

“Not now, Abe. I’m in the middle of a complicated debate, someone really thinks you can just put sauce over pasta and call it spaghetti, can you believe it?”

The other sighed, looking around before finding a glowing button, instantly making the screen fade to black.

Topher stared, his face slowly turning red in anger, “Abe, what the hell?!”

“Sorry man, but we gotta figure out the game plan here. School starts tomorrow and I know Joan is instantly going to single me out, we need a story.”

A groan rang out in the room, and Abe went to sit back down on the bed as Topher grumbled to himself, before coming to sit back over with him.

After the two got situated, they began to theorize possible scenarios.

“Let’s just say after we started to hang out, you finally understood my amazing charm and confessed to me.” Abe batted his eyelashes, just barely moving out the way from Topher going to shove his head.

“Absolutely not, I want you to be the one to confess to me.”

He frowned down at Topher, rolling his eyes, “Why? This was your whole idea anyways?”

Topher shrugged, looking away.

“Yes well, no one ever really shows an interest in me. If we’re going to fake-date for your ultimate benefit, consider this my payment.”

Abe grumbled, “Fine, then I’ll be the one who saw your charm, or lack thereof.”

That time he wasn’t able to dodge Topher's shove, and just barely caught himself from falling off the bed.

It took a few more hours to get their plan figured out, but eventually, it came to an end. They had their story, down to the very last detail, and it was etching towards midnight already.

“Alright, I think we got everything right. Just remember it all for tomorrow, and let’s get ready for bed.”

Abe nodded, the two of them brushing their teeth and getting into more comfortable clothes. This would be their third sleepover, the first one having failed miserably. The second one wasn’t that bad, Topher had actually been able to stay off the internet for a total of 20 minutes.

So, the two had agreed to hang out again, and it was safe to say this one was a disaster just as the first, if the entire Joan incident was anything to go off of.

As they both got into Topher’s bed, a comfortable silence took over. That was, until Abe spoke; “Hey, if we’re fake-dating, is it gay to share a bed now?”

Topher instantly opened his eyes, frowning as he turned towards Abe.

“What a ridiculous question, neither you nor I even are actually gay. Why would this change anything?”

Abe nodded absently, “No, no- you’re right. My bad, I’m just so nervous right now.”

The other scoffed, turning back around.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about if you have no gay intentions or thoughts, Abe. Just go to sleep.”

“Right.. right.”

Just go to sleep. No gay thoughts, totally easy. Right?

Chapter Text

Topher was engulfed in warmth.

Maybe that was bad phrasing, in actuality he was being suffocated by an absolute giant. Somewhere in the middle of the night, Abe had completely wrapped Topher in his gangly beast arms.

At first, annoyance took over him. His bed wasn’t particularly big, and Abe hadn’t done this last time. Topher was on the side against the wall, so he really was trapped in a way. Then the tiredness hit him once again.

Sure, he was being held hostage in his own bed, but it was warm.

It wasn’t like Abe was awake, so if he were to indulge in this cocoon of heat for just a moment; no one would know. No shame in comfort, after all.

Then he glanced at his clock, and realized he didn’t have any time for leisure.

Begrudgingly, he slowly lifted his hand up before slamming it down onto Abe’s face. The other jolted almost immediately, which was a bit strange but was the least of his priorities.

“Get off of me, you buffoon.”

Abe slowly sat up, untangling his arms from him, “Ugh, what time is it?”

Topher took this opportunity to finally sit up himself, stretching his arms behind his head, “Time to get ready for school, that’s what it is. You don’t want to miss Joan, do you?”

That got him to work, putting his energy into full drive as he ran around to get his clothes.

Eventually he got up himself, after having watched the other for a good solid minute. It was entertaining to see him flail around, especially when he had started brushing his teeth in a hurry, toothpaste flying.

Soon enough, the both of them were ready and out the door.

Arriving at school at the same time ultimately worked best in their favor, apparently. Joan had been waiting at their lockers, just as Abe had predicted somewhere in the evening yesterday.

It was a bit nerve-wracking, Topher had to admit. She seemed as if she was a shark, carefully watching her prey, or perhaps a tiger? Either way, despite him and Abe having their story down to perfect, it still made him sweat.

“Abe, there you are, and.. Topher.”

She looked down at him in mild disgust and confusion, at which he only grimaced. Yeah, that’s exactly why she wasn’t his type.

“Hey Joan, uh- what’re you doing here!” Smooth.

“Topher told me yesterday that.. that you two were together?” Joan cocked her head to the side, waiting for some form of explanation.

Abe looked around, and Topher felt mildly perturbed that he seemed to want to be just as quiet about it as possible, “Yes, we are! I hope that’s not a problem, is it Joan?”

She blinked, before shaking her head, “Oh, no! Of course not, um.. Topher also mentioned that you were telling him about me,” she tucked a hair behind her ear, smiling slightly up at him, “all good things, I hope?”

Topher quietly scoffed, rolling his eyes as Abe stuttered out an answer.

“Well hey, I have to get to class because Harriet wanted to show me something, but you should come sit with us at lunch so I can get all the details! I’m happy for you Abe, even if you’re with..”

Her long pause only added more fuel to the fire of anger in Topher's heart, “Yes, we’ll be sure to sit with you. You can leave now, you don’t want to keep her waiting.” he hissed out, his hand finding Abe’s to show some form of dominance in this conversation.

Joan had instantly looked down at him, frowning slightly before saying her goodbyes and walking away, finally.

After a short moment of silence, Abe threw his hands into the air, which immediately caused Topher to let go, “We did it! I think it worked, do you see how she was acting? Now we just have to get through lunch!”

Topher frowned, shaking his hand slightly from the pain, “Yes well, a lot of people act that way around me. We aren’t home-free yet.”

Abe opened his locker to get his books, nodding at his words.

“You’re right, we really have to sell this later when we sit at her table. You remember everything, right?”

“More like do you remember everything.”

The two of them started walking to class, speaking quietly about the situation to themselves, when they ran into someone right as they walked into the door.

“Hey, watch it!” Topher instinctively said, before looking up to see Harriet.

“Oh, sorry! I just got so excited, Joan told me the great news!”

Abe frowned, rubbing his arm that ran into her, “Great news?”

Harriet nodded, dragging the two of them further into the room by their wrists. Topher continued to frown at the contact, trying to pull away from her iron grip. “You know, about you two being together!”

Instantly, the sweat started to form on Abe’s forehead, “Oh great.. she’s telling people, huh?”

Topher shrugged, really what did he expect to happen? Abe didn’t think that only one person was going to know, did he? That’d be a bit embarrassing, if he was that stupid.

Turns out, he was that stupid, because throughout the rest of class, the two of them kept passing notes on the situation.

I just didn’t want so many people to find out

honestly abe, did you not listen to joan? she told us to sit with her at lunch to explain things, who do you think sits with her?

I guess you’re right, but what are we going to do when Joan finally wants me? Everyone is going to know I’m dating you (well, fake-dating)

we went over this last night. we’ll break up eventually you know, i dont want to be with you for all of high school

Eventually, the class period came to an end, and the notes were crumbled up and thrown in the garbage. The two had to fight off a few people for their next classes, but it was all relatively easy. All they had to do was promise to explain things at lunch, and that was that.

The periods flew by, and soon enough it was time for lunch.

Their classmates had bolted out the class door, in a hurry to make it to the lunch room, which ultimately left Abe and Topher alone in an empty classroom.

“Are you ready, Abe? You will need to use whatever lying skills you have, soon.”

“I.. am not a great liar,” Topher butted in with an immediate ‘I know’, which was playfully ignored, “but I’m ready, let’s convince everyone this is real!”

Topher nodded, making his way to the door. This was going to be a bit humiliating, he has called himself straight on multiple occasions. People were going to ask him invasive questions, and he’ll have to lie through his teeth.

Honestly, he doesn’t understand now why he decided to do all of this.

It wasn’t as if he was against embarrassing Abe, so he should’ve just told Joan the truth. In the moment though, it was a funny thought. Now it’s gone out of control, and he’ll have to live with the consequences of people not believing he wasn’t gay.

Just as he was about to walk out, he felt his hand get lifted, and turned to see Abe holding it.

“We might as well make it somewhat believable, right? What couple doesn’t hold hands!” Topher frowned at him, before focusing again on their hands. It felt warm, and tingly. In the back of his mind he wondered if Abe had some sort of disease.

“You’re right, I always see Frida hanging off of Cleo so physical affection is a great start.”

Topher then led the other out, towards the cafeteria.

It wasn’t long until sweat began to build up from both of their palms, the nervousness this entire situation has caused being unmistakable. The closer they got there, the more Abe started to nervously shake.

“Do you really think this will work?”

Topher scoffed, “Didn’t you see Joan earlier this morning? She was more interested in you than she has been in a while, of course this will work.”

Abe nodded, and soon enough the two of them found their way to the table. Everyone began to greet them, and Topher made sure to lay their conjoined hands atop the table.

“So.. now that you’re finally here, tell us all the details!”

Harriet was clearly very excited, the idea of two.. well, not friends, but acquaintances, getting together filled her with curiosity. Topher supposed that he could understand where she was coming from, they have been classmates for as long as he could remember. Seeing him with someone, fake or not, would definitely be surprising.

“Well, what do you want to know specifically?” Abe spoke up, his smile twitching very slightly.

Joan frowned, crossing her arms, “When exactly did you two get together?”

Topher looked up at him, raising his eyebrows. They both went over this, so if Abe could compose himself, this should go smoothly.

“During our sleepover! Well- our uh, second sleepover.”

Not technically a lie, but one nonetheless. The third sleepover would be more accurate.

“Oh really? You know, I’m really happy for you two, but I didn’t know you liked men Abe.” Joan questioned, eyeing Topher warily, as if he was going to jump up and attack her. He just might, if she kept up with her tone.

Abe cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his head, “It’s a new development, I don’t really know what to call it..” a chuckle was huffed out at the end.

“Bisexual,”

Frida looked up from Cleo, smiling towards him.

“Uh, what?”

“The term you’re looking for. You like women and men right?”

“Uh..” Abe looked down towards Topher, who subtly nodded, “Yeah.. yeah, I do!”

She nodded, closing her eyes in the process, “Right. That’s called being bisexual, or pansexual depending on a whole lot of other factors.”

“Oh! So, is that what you are..?” Abe gave a questioning look to Cleo, who only rolled her eyes and turned her head away from him. He awkwardly sweated, looking back at Frida who only shrugged.

“A person's sexuality is their own business, just wanted to let you know there’s one for ya.”

He grimaced slightly, “Right..”

“How did you guys get together, anyways? Not much can even happen at a sleepover besides-” Joan sat up straighter, her eyes widening, “wait, you didn’t… did you?”

Abe cocked his head to the side, frowning in confusion, “What-?”

“No! No, we didn’t!” Topher instantly shot up, turning red in the process. It was one thing for everyone to think he was dating Abe, it was an entirely other situation for them to believe they were.. getting up to some misdeeds.

Everyone instantly turned their attention onto him, making him pause and then clear his throat, “It’s way too early for that, some of us have class.”

He gave a pointed look towards Joan, who only scoffed.

“I think it’s cool you guys are together,” Confucius said, looking away from his phone, “We don’t have many gay couples here, so it’s nice to get some variety.”

Harriet instantly shushed him, “Confucius!” “What? What’d I do?!” the two began to squabble in the background, as everyone else tuned them out.

“It was Abe who made the first move, but not.. like that.” Topher coughed into his free hand, the heat on his face letting down, “It was actually very amusing, he’s not great with his words, as I’m sure you know.”

Joan frowned, “Oh really? What exactly did he do?”

Abe perked back up, having memorized their plans from the night before.

“Topher was laying in bed next to me,” JFK had lifted his hand to speak, and Topher instantly spoke up with a ‘not like that’, “and we were watching FlipFlops on his phone! It was pretty late, and I just remember looking at his hair and wanting to run my fingers through it.”

Everyone stared intently at the story, resisting the urge to jump to their first conclusions which have already been shot down.

“I’m not really great at self control, so it happened. It was a bit chaotic at first, a lot of deep thoughts were shared. I mean, we have been hanging out a lot, it’s only normal to start liking someone you’re with all the time right?”

Out of everyone, Joan looked the most suspicious. Which would make sense, Topher supposed, she was the smartest one there when it came to Abe.

“That seems a bit lackluster, doesn’t it?”

Topher glared at her, holding Abes’ hand tighter, “Yes well, not all of us get together with someone by sleeping with them.”

A quiet fell upon them, some soft ‘oh's..’ being let out by a few of them there, mainly Frida, being the only thing you could hear aside from the general racket of the cafeteria. Abe anxiously looked between the two of them.

“Haha..! What a funny joke, Topher. Such a kidder, this guy..” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “He’s just a bit protective, right man?” he subtly kicked his ankle underneath the table.

Topher continued to glare towards her, as he moved his head in the direction of Abe, maintaining eye contact for a moment longer, before focusing his attention onto the other.

“Yes, it was just a joke. It’s hard not to be protective of you, babe.”

He laid it on thick, noticing the slight jealousy waving off of Joan. It would serve her right, for how she’s been treating him all day.

Abe gripped his hand tighter, which at this point, both of them were holding on for dear life by now.

Joan continued to stare at him, occasionally looking at Abe. There was silence as the rest of the group looked between the three of them, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Then, Joan smiled, leaning back slightly.

“When was this sleepover of yours? I haven’t noticed you guys being affectionate until today.” She made a point to look down at their hands, before smugly looking back up.

Abe stuttered out an awkward ‘uh..’, while Topher sat up straighter.

“It was a week ago, and since neither of us have been with men before we decided to take things slow.” He made a move to sit even closer to Abe, smiling back at Joan, “You wouldn’t want to make Abe uncomfortable would you?”

Joan nodded, turning her full attention to Abe, “You were always so open with Cleo, but I understand wanting to figure this out. You know, I may just have an idea that can help!”

Topher watched as Abe calmed down slightly, falling right into her trap, “Really? That’s so nice of you, what is it?”

He watched as she leaned in slightly, smirking as she casted a glance down at Topher, “Why not try kissing each other? You kissed a boy once before, right? Though, I can’t remember his name.. maybe you can try again and see if you feel anything?”

Abe instantly dropped his jaw, staring in disbelief.

The two of them knew that kissing might be a possibility, but they figured none of them would feel the need to push that onto them. Of course, Joan is just as conniving as she is smart. Topher looked nervously at him, as Abe began to sweat again.

“Uh, y-yeah.. That should be easy, it’s not like it’d be the first time..” Abe somewhat muttered to himself, and all Topher could do was stare.

He was a bit surprised that Abe had kissed another man before, he had dated Cleo so surely he was as straight as they came. Evidently, that assumption was his downfall, because here he was having to kiss him.

Abe had fully turned towards Topher, having let go of his hand in favor of putting it on his arm.

Topher really wasn’t prepared for this, he felt sick to his stomach. He never kissed anyone before, let alone Abe. Let alone a man at that, unlike Abe he had no temptation to do so.

His body wouldn’t let him move though, it was as if he was frozen, and the irony wasn’t lost on him.

He could feel himself leaning his head away slightly as Abe began to lean down, and he could feel the heat of his breathing fan across his face. He squinted his eyes, purely out of disgust and fear.

“Alright, that’s enough.”

Frida’s voice spoke up from the silence, instantly pulling the two apart before they could do anything.

“You two don’t gotta do anything right now, not cool Joan.”

She had looked over at the other girl, who had been staring smugly before she paused at the words. She seemed lost in thought for a moment, before sighing. “You’re right, I don’t know what came over me.”

Joan looked over at Abe, smiling a bit sadly, before looking down at Topher.

“I’m sorry, you guys. I didn’t mean to act out like that, I just want to make sure Abe is taken care of, by someone who actually likes him.”

Abe let out an ‘awe’, along with the rest of those at the table, but all Topher could do was see red.

Not only was he about to have been forced to kiss someone against his will, but he still somehow managed to get backhandedly insulted to his face, again! His glare was heavy, as he rose from his seat and took Abe’s hand in his once more.

“It’s alright, Joan. I promise, he is well cared for.”

The two stared at each other for a moment, which felt like years but was only seconds, before Topher dragged Abe out of the room.

Chapter Text

After the lunch incident, Topher had told Abe they’ll be going home together later that day to discuss their plan in more detail, considering it was somewhat a disaster earlier.

Soon enough, the day had gone by and they were ready to go back to Topher’s.

It was a good look for them to be seen walking with one another too, if Harriet’s bright smile was anything to go by.

By the time they got home, Topher was a bundle of nerves. He knew what he was about to propose would do well in their favors, whether out of revenge or falsehood, but it was still a scary thought for him to try and come to terms with.

He led Abe up to his bedroom, and motioned for him to sit on the bed.

“Look, today was.. good. Joan was clearly jealous, that works in our favor- uh, your favor.” Topher cleared his throat, going to sit beside him.

Abe smiled, turning to sit criss-crossed on the bed, “I know! Honestly, it made me pretty nervous, but it was kind of flattering.”

“Hm, yes, maybe you do have a chance with her after what I saw today.” He frowned, looking away, “Though she was pretty rude to me about it all.”

“Yeah, she’s just like that, sorry.”

“Right..” Topher was silent for a moment, before sighing, “Look, today made me realize we are not as prepared for this as we should be, as much as it pains me to admit.”

Abe instantly sat straighter, “No, wait! I promise we can do better, please don’t bail..”

“Calm down,” Topher leaned back, frowning up at him, “What I’m trying to say is.. It’s good she is jealous, but Joan is also onto us. Look around, do any couples around here not kiss every few minutes?”

He ran a hand down his face, “As much as I don’t want to, we might have to think of the very real possibility that we can’t just get through this with hand holding and smiles.”

Abe instantly looked away, “We’ll probably have to kiss at least once is what you’re saying.”

“Yeah..”

“Well, we can probably fake it. Like in stage plays, they usually put their thumb over their lips.”

Topher’s frown deepened, his hands fiddling with one another. He didn’t want to kiss Abe just as much as the other didn’t, but he also wanted to stick it to Joan.

She belittled him all day today, and sure Abe isn’t total human garbage but she acted as if Topher was nothing compared to him. As if he could do way better than him, and the thought of them together was ridiculous.

It angered him, it left a sick feeling in his gut. His heart hurt, not from any feelings of love, but from feelings of just pure rage.

He wanted to show her that he was worth other people’s time, even if it was fake.

“That could work, but also everyone around us swaps tongue spit on the regular.” Topher shivered, the mere thought disgusted him, “So if we don’t, it might look weird.”

“Well, the last person I kissed was Cleo. So, I have some experience I guess.”

Topher nodded, “Of course, I do as well.”

“Really?”

“.. No.”

Abe laughed, and he immediately began to fluster. It wasn’t all that funny, it was hard getting someone to be interested in you when you’re the clone of a canceled colonizer.

“Stop it! Now I don’t feel even a little bit bad by suggesting this, but we need to practice it!”

“Practice kissing?” He laughed even harder, and Topher glared, punching his arm, “Ow! Okay, okay! We can practice but uh, we wouldn’t really be doing it for anyone to see if we do that. Wouldn’t that be kind of gay?”

Topher let out a sigh, “If you don’t like it as much as I wont, it should be fine.”

“Do we.. practice now then?” Abe awkwardly asked, looking down at him.

The smart decision would be yes, best to get it out of the way. However, Topher was nervous, like he said he had no experience with this. He didn’t particularly want his first kiss to be with a boy, but having gotten himself into this situation he couldn’t really back down.

Plus, it would feel nice to do it in front of Joan. Sure the end goal was to get her and Abe together, but the point of all this is that they’re not. So he could do whatever we wanted.

Did he really want to practice today though?

“Uh.. well, maybe let’s.. watch videos about it first!”

“.. Videos?”

Topher nodded, “Uh-huh! Videos….” he smiled weakly, getting out his phone from his pocket.

Abe stared before shrugging, “Does that mean we’ll be watching adult-rated videos?” Topher almost immediately dropped his phone, startled by the question as he stared wide eyed at him.

“Absolutely not! I was thinking more-so kissing scenes from movies.”

“I see.. but, earlier today we told them we were taking it slow. Couldn’t we just use that as an excuse to not kiss in front of them?” Abe made room for Topher to lay down next to him as the other flipped his phone sideways.

Topher frowned, thinking back to earlier. That was true, and could very well be a good excuse for them to at least not have to practice any time soon, however.. well, Topher wasn’t really that great of a person. He saw an opportunity to fuck with Joan, and he wanted to take it.

“I have a feeling if Joan sees you kissing someone, it would push her full drive. The sooner the better right?”

He started to search up videos from movies, not taking his eyes off of his phone, “This whole thing isn’t about us being a realistic couple, it’s more like just trying to get you with Joan in the fastest way possible.”

Abe hummed, “That makes sense, but do we actually need to watch something to practice? It wouldn’t be my first kiss, I can just teach you the basics.”

Topher’s typing froze, and he slowly looked up towards him as he continued, “I mean, we’ll have to kiss eventually anyways, so are the videos that necessary?”

He knew that he had a point, but that didn’t change the fact that Topher just did not know how to handle kissing someone, let alone Abe, let alone a boy. He didn’t want to admit that anxiousness to Abe, but he also couldn’t just say no and leave it at that.

They did have to practice, and he knew that. They would have to kiss, sooner or later, and he knew that.

It did not make this any easier, though.

He half regrets suggesting it, but he knew it was necessary. Plus, like he’s said prior, he really wants to have something over Joan.

“I suppose you’re right, you did kiss a guy before.”

“Hey man, I don’t even remember who he was,” Abe ignored Topher’s comment of ‘That makes it worse’, and went on “but I do remember it was to help him, so all in all I’m a pretty good guy actually.”

Topher frowned, staring deadpan at him “Sure.. but what exactly am I supposed to be doing?”

Abe sat up, taking Topher’s phone and setting it aside on the bed, “I’m just as nervous about this as you, y’know. So just relax knowing that we are on the same page.”

“I’m not nervous, just curious! Confused, like what am I supposed to do with my lips?”

He listened to the other laugh, “I had the same confusion, but you just follow the other person I guess?”

“Why was that a question?!” Topher pulled the sides of his hat down angrily, the pressure from all of this slowly getting to him.

“Woah man, just chill out! Look, we don’t have to do it today? Maybe tomorrow, or sometime this week at least.”

Abe held up placating hands, and Topher only stared.

“I don’t want to do this either, but if it gets Joan quicker than I’ll do it. Only if you want to, you don’t need to do stuff for me just because of this situation.”

Topher continued frowning, groaning as he put his face in his hands. He sat there like that for a moment, before breathing in deeply and huffing it all out.

“Alright, let’s do it.” He ran his hands back, taking his hat off.

Abe blinked, staring for a moment longer than necessary, until Topher glanced at him and raised a brow, the other clearing his throat, “Right, okay!”

Topher sat up himself, turning to face Abe completely once again.

“Do you want to practice uh- mouth kissing? Or tongue kissing, first?”

He thought about Abe’s question pretty thoughtfully. Honestly, just lips for now should be fine, it was just for practice after all.

“Let’s skip the tongue for now, he can do a quick kiss tomorrow at our lockers. It will be a good look for us, and Joan will definitely see if we time it right.”

Abe smiled, “Good call, a peck should work.”

Topher looked at him questioningly, “A peck? No, I said a quick kiss.”

“A quick kiss is a peck.”

“No but, isn’t a peck very quick?”

“What do you mean by a quick kiss then?”

They both sat confused as Topher did his best to explain, which honestly wasn’t that great, “You know, a kiss that’s.. used for weddings! It’s not long, there’s no tongue, but it’s not short enough to just be a peck.”

“You’ve lost me.” Abe sat there dumbfounded.

Topher groaned, “You’ve kissed before, how do you not understand what I mean?”

“Just- try and show me, then.”

Instantly, all the breath was knocked out of him. He was expecting Abe to take the lead, this was practice for Topher specifically after all. He had no idea how to show him what he meant, not really anyways.

“I could.. try. Uh, here just..” Topher scooted closer, and Abe helpfully leaned down.

“I’m just going to put my lips on yours. It’s not kissing, it’s just to show you the duration I mean.”

Abe nodded, almost headbutting him, “No right, I got you.”

Topher grimaced slightly, putting his hands on Abe’s shoulders to balance himself, as he was now sitting on his knees to get some height. The longer it took for him to close the distance completely, the more he could feel his hands sweating onto the other’s shirt.

It wasn’t his fault, really. He just did not want to do this, in terms of being the one to have to put in the work. Which, wouldn’t be much. This was just to show what he was saying, of course.

Nothing more.

It took a while for him to gain the courage however, and just as he leaned in Abe went to open his mouth to speak, which resulted in Topher immediately smashing his lips into the other’s front teeth.

Instantly he leaped back, having nicked his lip on a tooth, “Jesus Christ!”

“Oh man, I’m so sorry! It was taking you so long, I just wanted to try and say you didn’t have to!”

“Please, shut up!” Topher held a hand to his mouth, flicking his tongue over his lip to taste if there was blood. Thankfully, there wasn’t, but the pain still was a bit sharp.

Abe had his head in his hands, repeatedly saying sorry but quieter after Topher yelled.

“God, maybe this isn’t a good idea..” He took his hand from his mouth, wiping the saliva on his pants leg. Topher watched as Abe let out a sigh, shaking his head, “I’m really sorry. We totally don’t have to do this, Joan can wait!”

At the mention of her, Topher paused, eyeing Abe quietly. He didn’t want to continue today, not really, but he knew he wanted to show up tomorrow and smack that smug look off of Joan’s face, not literally though.

Well…

No, not literally. Though a kiss would do just the same, and he knew he wanted that more than anything. He wanted Joan to get jealous, because he knew she would be playing right into their trap, and it gave him an advantage even if for only a moment.

“Enough, Abe. We’re doing this.”

He crawled back over, snatching Abe by the chin as the other kept trying to say it was alright, “Again, this is just to teach you what I meant. It will be quick, so be quiet this time.”

Abe grimaced at the iron grip that held him, and just nodded.

Topher smiled slightly, “Good.”

He took in a breath, mostly for courage, and leaned in once more. This time, his lips managed to meet something other than teeth, which is a good sign all things considered.

It was pretty warm, which he figured it would be. The saliva coating his lips made it a bit wet though, and he wasn’t sure if he enjoyed the texture all that much. If this is what kissing was, he definitely wasn’t missing out on much.

He could feel Abe hum slightly, and rolled his eyes. Of course he would enjoy this slightly, after all Topher wasn’t the first man he’s kissed.

Topher couldn’t exactly place what emotion he felt when it was worded that way.

Eventually he pulled away, the kiss had felt like an eternity, but he knew for certain it was about probably 5 seconds max. A quick peck was hardly 1, so he knew he proved Abe wrong.

Speaking of Abe, he had just stared at Topher after he leaned back.

It wouldn’t be all that jarring, except Abe had closed his eyes during the contact, so seeing the intense stare creeped him out just a bit.

“Look, see? Longer than a peck, this is what we will do tomorrow.”

It seemed his voice brought Abe out of his thoughts, as he just shook his head before nodding, “Right, I see what you meant now. We can definitely do that tomorrow, do you really think Joan will pay attention?”

Topher nodded, having let go of Abe sometime after he spoke, and putting some distance between the two of them.

“As long as we get there before her, we should be able to do it just as she’s walking by. It should be perfect, just about.”

Abe made a noise of acknowledgment, before wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

“Alright, so that’s all we’re doing today?”

Topher smirked slightly, “I don’t think I want to practice kissing much more after all, what with my mouth getting gnawed on.”

He watched the other drop his jaw, as he instantly got defensive, “I didn’t do that, we didn’t even use tongue!”

“Oh, is that what you do when you do use tongue?”

Abe spluttered, his face reddening, “No!”

“Sure.. well, that’s all we need to do for tomorrow, we don’t need to pull out all the stops. It will be quick, just like I said.” Topher went to stand from his bed, stretching slightly before going to pick up his hat, “Her seeing us have any lip contact should do enough, for now. Especially after today.”

“Right, good point.” Abe leaned against the wall, watching Topher as he moved around, “So, when will we be actually practicing then?”

Topher smiled down at him from where he stood, “Why, are you that excited about it?”

“No! I mean, I’m just excited to.. get Joan. Also, it’s just interesting you haven’t kissed anyone before.”

“Well, technically I just did.”

Abe frowned, squinting at him, “You said it wasn’t a kiss though.”

“Uh- well technically like I said, it was, but I won't be counting it genuinely.”

Topher watched as the other nodded smugly, and Abe found some odd pride in the fact that he was the one that was Topher’s first kiss.

Abe will most definitely not be unpacking that any time soon though, or ever, because he didn’t like men. It was surely just him feeling like a good friend, that’s it.

“So we’ll be having another sleepover I take it then?”

“Yes, all I wanted you here for was to practice for what we need tomorrow. It is getting late though, so you may stay again.”

“Wow, thank you so much.” Abe said blandly, though they both knew it was jokingly.

Topher nodded, “Just don’t try to smother me in your sleep again, it was very jarring to wake up to.” Abe looked away, frowning at the wall, “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Whatever, keep that up and you’ll sleep on the floor, which I should have been making you do from the start.”

Abe instantly looked back at him, pretending to have been wounded, “Is that any way to treat your boyfriend?”

The other glared, “Shut up, we’re not actually together. Just be lucky I let you on my bed.”

Topher went over to his computer, as Abe stared after him. He ignored that small part of him that took offense to the instant rejection. It didn’t make sense, and he didn’t want it to.

Abe will let resting dogs lie, for now.

Chapter Text

“Do we really have to do this?”

Topher and Abe had gotten ready for school quite early, so early in fact that the sun had barely just started coming up.

Abe had woken up in a heap of sweat, a nervous ball of anxiety, and it had only jolted Topher up with him, which had the other in a sour mood for a good hour.

“For the last time, yes.” Topher repeated, annoyed by now. He glared at Abe as the two of them made their way to the school's entrance, “Seriously what is your problem? You were onboard with this yesterday.”

Since the two had woken up, all that has been exchanged between them were the repetitive ‘are you sure’s and ‘of course i am’s. It was honestly starting to wear Topher down.

“It’s just.. what if something goes wrong?” Abe asked, biting at his nails.

Topher sighed impatiently, stopping completely before turning towards him, “Like what, Abe? What exactly could go wrong with this?”

The two stared at each other for a few moments, and it was obvious Abe was struggling to get the right words out, and honestly neither of them had time for this. They had to get there before Joan did, and they had to mentally prepare themselves for having to kiss each other in front of half the school.

Just as Abe finally strained out a sound, Topher scoffed and grabbed his hand, speed walking to the door.

“Enough of this Abe, we have important things to do.”

He pushed right inside, just as a few school buses started pulling in. Thankfully, their lockers weren’t that far from the entrance, so it was fairly easy to arrive at them on time before Joan even appeared.

“Really, don’t you want Joan? We did it last night, it’ll be easy this time.”

Abe sighed, leaning against his locker, “It’s not about that really, it’s just-”

“Just what? You’ve been making a big deal out of this all morning.” Topher glared up at him, “If you back out of this after all the trouble last night, I swear Abe..”

“I’m not! Just wondering if maybe this will backfire?”

“In what way? This will go smoothly, like butter.”

Abe went to make a gesture with his hands, before noticing Topher still had a hold on his. He honestly didn’t understand the frustration he felt, because he knew it was misplaced.

“Uh, well firstly-”

“Wait, shut up. There’s Joan!”

Abe quickly turned his head in the direction Topher was looking at, “Shit, where-”

Topher quickly put his hands on the sides of Abe’s face, turning him back and pulling him down, “Wait, Topher-!”

Both of them had miscalculated how exactly they were going to have this play out, having been distracted by the apprehension Abe had been stating since they woke up.

It wasn’t that either of them wanted this, but newsflash; when you kiss someone who is speaking, you will either get a tooth to your lips, or just an open mouth.

Add that with the surprise of coming to contact with something wet, which turned out to be a tongue, and now all of a sudden you’re accidentally tonguing it in the halls in front of way too many students.

They could have pulled away any time, but Joan was still coming over, and Topher would be damned if he let Abe chicken out of this after all that planning and.. practicing.

He racked his brain for any and all information he could from the previous times he’s seen other people kiss this way, and from the internet, and did his best to just bullshit it.

That wasn’t entirely necessary though, because while Abe did show some resistance at first, just from being unsuspecting, he eventually caved and went along with it. He said he would teach Topher how to do this, and this was just a coincidence that was in both their favor.

Somehow.

He wasn’t sure if he enjoyed this texture much either, but it was better than just having his mouth closed. Abe tasted like Topher’s toothpaste and mouthwash, which he would never admit that he hardly ever used, unless around company.

Yes, he knew that was gross. Sue him, who cares.

The feeling of someone else's tongue against his wasn’t all that bad either, if he tried to ignore that it was Abe’s. Plus, he kind of enjoyed running his tongue over the other’s teeth, it was a bit entertaining.

At one point, Abe had run his tongue over the roof of Topher’s mouth, and that part did feel good. Too good in fact, that he couldn’t ignore that he was in fact kissing another boy anymore, and knew he had to do something.

Topher had squeezed his eyes shut at first, but eventually had squinted one eye open to follow Joans movements.

She had already walked past them towards her locker, but he noticed her movements were slow, and she kept her head at a particular angle. She was definitely watching them, at least from the corner of her eye.

He could feel Abe start to pull away, but he really did want to milk this for all it was worth just one more time, and would consider this last thing the one thing he needed to be even with Joan.

So, he instead interlocked his hands behind Abe’s neck, and pulled the bottom of Abe’s lip out with his teeth. He heard a muffled noise come from where Joan was, and finally he decided that was enough.

He smirked triumphantly as he kept his hands behind the other as Abe called out to Joan, having to clear his throat before speaking.

“Uh- hey Joan!”

Abe physically winced at the crack in his own voice.

“Oh.. hey Abe! Didn’t even see you there, what’s up?” Joan spoke, and Topher could instantly hear the tension in her voice. He looked away from Joan back to Abe, a knowing smile replacing the smirk as Abe took a quick glance at him.

“Nothing, just hanging out before class..!”

Joan nodded at him before looking away, “Um, that’s great! I have to get going now, I need to speak to.. JFK!”

They both watched her quickly walk away, until she disappeared after a turn. Immediately after she was gone, Abe pulled Topher’s hands off of him.

“What was that?!”

“I know, it seems our plan really wor-”

“No! I mean why was your tongue just down my throat?!”

Topher frowned, raising an eyebrow, “Yours was down mine too! Plus, it’s your fault you didn’t stop talking. I told you to shut up!”

“You’re the one who kissed me without warning!”

“Oh please, this was our plan since last night.”

“Not like this, and.. and I didn’t even want to do this today!”

Abe wiped his mouth on his arm, and Topher started to glare, the high he was on crashing immediately, “We are not doing this here.”

“Why not? It’s not like we’re actually-”

Topher slammed a hand onto his mouth, “Enough! Save your tantrum for later, you want Joan don’t you? This was the best possible outcome.”

Abe ripped the other’s hand off him, the two had begun whispering angrily to each other, “She just ran off to go to JFK, in what world is that good for me?”

“Did you not pay any attention to her? God, do you even know anything about Joan? How can I tell that this worked and you can’t?”

Abe shook his head, “I don’t know why you were so hellbent on kissing me anyways, there’s no way that was the only option.”

Topher started to look around, and noticed that their hushed conversation gained the attention of others, even if they couldn’t quite hear what was happening. He’d be damned if multiple people found out he just kissed a man he wasn’t even actually dating.

“Look let’s just.. discuss this later, okay?”

“Why do we have to do that?!”

“Are you being serious, take a look around!”

Abe instantly grimaced the moment his eyes left Topher’s, and after scanning the hall he eventually glared back down at the other, “Fine. Let’s just go to class.”

“Great.”

The day had gone by relatively quickly, and word of their argument got out to some of the students. Nothing they said was able to be made out, just that Abe had spoken to Joan and suddenly the new love-birds weren’t happy with one another.

Topher felt genuine rage at the thought of any of that getting back to Joan, he really didn’t want her to get any satisfaction from issues in their relationship.

Word had spread enough to the point where for some reason even Cleo acknowledged him somewhere throughout the day, telling him to ‘chin up’, and that Abe was just ‘difficult to manage’.

For some reason, that made him even angrier than he was before, and he couldn’t place why.

So, today wasn’t that great for him. He was going to have to speak with Abe now too, and figure all this out because yes, Topher can still be a friend when he wants to be, and he did agree to help him get Joan.

After his last class, he had gone to Abe’s locker as he’s always done, and waited.

Then he waited some more, and more.

Okay, so add Abe avoiding him to his list of problems for his already shitty day. If he wants to act like that, then fine!

He immediately pulled out his phone, going to his contacts list before remembering Abe didn’t even have a cellphone. Topher groaned, pocketing the device and going to survey the classrooms.

It’s not weird, but he knows Abe’s schedule, down to the last detail. So, of course his last class is the one that he checks first, and of course he would be smart enough to not be there.

Then it takes Topher about 3 more rooms before he decides to give up.

He didn’t do anything wrong, not really. They were going to kiss today anyways, it wasn’t his fault that Abe was having second thoughts. There wasn’t enough time for them to have decided against it anyways, and even then it wasn’t like Abe had flat out said no.

Topher has always known he wasn’t really all that ‘woke’, he played pretend a good majority of the time to just try to fit in. Even if he didn’t like being around some people, that didn’t mean he didn’t want to be liked.

Despite that, he wouldn’t classify himself as someone who would do things without their consent, and to his knowledge he did have Abe’s. It was necessary to get him Joan, it’s not his fault he was the only one who saw that.

Okay, maybe wording it like that wouldn’t help his case, but really what more else is there to say?

Grumbling, he decided to make his way home, which took him a while to get out of the school first. Today was a total waste of time, their prearranged plan being all for nothing in the end.

As soon as the sun hit him, he squinted his eyes as he began to walk, the school buses already having left.

“Wait!”

The sound of wheels chased after him, and Topher turned to see Frida skating towards him.

“Dude, I have been trying to find you for ages. Look, we need to talk.”

“You and I have nothing to speak about, I really have to get going,” He went to turn, before hearing Frida rustle around a paper, “What about this?”

He squinted, leaning down to read it slightly before paling.

It was the note he and Abe passed around to each other a few days prior.

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Like hell you don’t, man. What does Abe mean by fake-dating? What does Joan have to do with this?”

Topher started backing away, sweating from the outdoor heat already, “How should I know? Are you sure that note was even with me and Abe? Maybe it’s someone else.”

Frida just stared deadpan at him, “Who else is Abe ‘dating’?”

He stared back.

“How did you even get that.”

“Harriet was in that class, and she loves romance.”

Topher scoffed, “She loves drama, nothing more nothing less.”

“Look man, we’ve been nice enough to keep this quiet and act like we don’t know anything, but you need to give me some answers.”

“I don’t have to give you anything.”

The two glared at one another, before Frida put the note back in her pocket, “Then I’m telling Joan.”

Topher laughed, and he honestly hadn’t meant to, but it just came out, and he couldn’t stop it.

“Go ahead, it’s not my problem. Abe can solve it himself.”

Frida shook her head, looking slightly disgusted, “Dude, we were so happy for you. Why are you acting like this?”

“I always act like this.”

She sighed, looking away. They stood in silence, and Topher was about to start walking away before she spoke up, “I mean, why even fake all of this. Joan already likes Abe.”

“I figured, already..”

“It just doesn’t make sense that you’d pretend to date Abe, you’ve always said you were straight.”

“Yes, and I am.”

“Really..?”

Topher glared harder at her, and she just shrugged, putting her hands up.

“What were you two arguing about earlier?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

Frida frowned, before sitting down on her skateboard. She patted the spot on the ground next to her, and he just stared at her. She rolled her eyes, pulling him down, having him trip over himself.

“Look man, I just wanna figure this out. Joan’s my friend.”

Topher let out an annoyed huff, fixing his sitting position, “Yes well, she’s not mine.”

He honestly didn’t know what Frida expected out of all of this, there really wasn’t much to the story aside from him messing with Abe, and then messing with Joan. He never claimed he was a great person.

“Can you just explain this all to me?”

She sounded calm, and he supposed after today he did need that. He needed something normal, and so he decided to throw her a bone.

He told her everything, and it honestly took longer than he thought it would, and he paid extra attention to her expressions. Was she disgusted? She should be. Was she weirded out? He would be.

After he finished everything, Frida let out a low whistle.

“Geez, man. What even is the end goal from all of this?”

Topher frowned, bringing his knees to his chest, “To get Abe with Joan, obviously. That’s all.”

“That’s really it?”

“Of course! He’s so annoying, always going on and on about her, I just want them together already so he can shut up.”

“You know, as much as I don’t approve of you two using Joan like this, you can just tell him that she already likes him? Then everything will be solved.”

Topher snorted, rolling his eyes, “Yeah, except I actually can’t tell him that, because he totally ditched me today.”

“Wow. What a horrible fake-boyfriend.”

“Right?!”

Frida gave him a look, and he instantly frowned. Alright, so it was sarcasm, sue him.

“I heard you two finally kissed today.”

Topher snorted, “We did yesterday too.”

“You’re sure you don’t like men?”

“I’m very sure.”

“Was the kissing part of your plan too?”

“Yes.”

Silence fell on them, and they both looked at nothing. They were sat in the school parking lot, and it was honestly too hot to be outside, but neither of them made a move to leave.

“How did it feel? Kissing him.”

“Horrible.” He winced, shaking his head, “No, sorry, default reaction. It wasn’t that bad. He put his tongue-”

“You used tongue?! No one told me that!”

“Uh.. yeah.”

She laughed, “I don’t understand why a straight guy would pretend to date another straight guy.”

“I doubt Abe is straight, he’s been acting kind of weird. Plus I heard he kissed another guy before, or whatever.”

“Woah, what was that?”

“What?” Topher looked at her, confused, “You didn’t know?”

“No, no, I knew that. I was at lunch, remember?” He nodded, and she continued, “You just sounded really bitter.”

“Bitter? Over what, I don’t care who he kisses.”

She sat up straighter, slapping his arm, “There it is again!”

He looked bewildered, flushing slightly. He doesn't understand what she’s trying to get at. Topher really doesn’t care who Abe kisses, really! He can imagine him kissing Joan, and he’s totally.. fine.. with it.

Okay, so he wasn’t that fine with it. Which was weird, because he was fine with Joan getting with Abe a few days ago!

Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like kissing much in general, so he just has to imagine Abe dating someone, and that’s easy!

“You totally like him, at least a little bit man, come on..”

Topher immediately stood up, dusting himself off, “Absolutely not, and I shouldn’t have even entertained you.”

He started to walk away, before he paused, pointing back at her, “Don’t tell Joan! I will handle it.”

Frida grimaced after him, watching him begin walking again, “Sure, dude.. right.”

Chapter Text

Abe hadn’t reached out to him for almost an entire weekend.

It wasn’t as if it was an accident either, or that he was too busy, because Topher had tried.

Sure, he knew Abe didn’t have a cell phone, but he did have a house phone. Each time he called, someone would answer, he’d start talking, and they would hang up.

So instead he tried ignoring what Frida said, because he knew it wasn’t true. Topher didn’t get crushes, especially not on people like Abe. He entertained the idea of himself kissing other people, and didn’t like it, so he concluded that it was just the idea of Abe kissing that upset him.

Topher put in a lot of time imagining Abe doing things with other people, from dating to hugging to holding hands, there were many scenarios in which he felt totally fine with Abe doing to someone else.

So really, Frida had no idea what she was talking about.

There really weren't any complicated feelings that came with this. Sure, occasionally he had accidentally imagined himself in those scenarios from earlier, but that was just because he had difficulty imagining others. As soon as it happened he would always correct it, so again he was perfectly fine.

He definitely didn’t have an issue with people being gay, he just knew for sure he wasn’t. That’s all.

Back to the point, Abe was ignoring him, and Topher did not get ignored. Okay, he did, but not by someone like Abe.

The last time they spoke to each other was Friday, and it was now Sunday. Really, what did Abe expect him to do in his situation? If he wanted an apology, Topher wouldn’t be giving one. He didn’t do anything wrong, in his eyes.

Joan was what Abe wanted, it’s not Topher’s fault that the two of them had a plan and he was the only one who stuck to it. He was his friend, and he begrudgingly wanted to make him somewhat happy.

He saw a logical decision, and went for it, and it had worked too. Joan never looked so jealous in her life, he made sure he watched her.

So what was the issue?

Honestly, if he wanted to know, he’d need outside help.

Topher didn’t want to, not after what she had tried implying, tried convincing him of, but if there was anyone who could help him on this it would be Frida. She knew his situation after all.

The two of them never spoke often, let alone did they have each others’ numbers. Though, she was available to message on her socials, so he took advantage of that.

It surprisingly didn’t take long for him to get a response.

She asked him what he had wanted, and he mentioned how Abe had been ignoring him for days. Frida told him to ‘hold on’, and she hadn’t responded back since.

He didn’t know what he expected, honestly. If anything, she was most likely telling Joan right now, since he had promised to talk to Abe and evidently had not. It shouldn’t bother him that much anyways, this fake-relationship was clearly over, if the silence from his ‘boyfriend’ was anything to go by.

Just as he started to definitely not wallow in his own pity, he heard a few fast knocks on the door downstairs.

He quickly sprung up, almost tripping over his feet. Topher raced towards the stairs, Abe’s name on his lips before he instantly froze taking in the sight of who was there, let in by his mother.

“Woah, what’s the rush little man?”

Harriet held her hands out, in case he ran into them, Frida standing directly next to her.

Topher just stared for a while, face heating up from embarrassment. Straightening up, he cleared his throat, “Uh, nothing..”

Frida lifted a side of her unibrow, “Right..” she definitely didn’t buy that, and he knew it.

He schooled his expression, frowning up at Harriet, “What’re you doing here, you don’t even like me.”

“Nope, but I like romance, and drama!” Topher gave Frida a look at that last part, of which she only shrugged, “Plus, Frida filled me in after your guys’ talk. I know I found the letter, but having that many details really helps me put it into perspective!”

Topher instantly panicked, “Whatever she told you, it’s not true.”

“You fake-dating Abe?”

“Uh- no, that’s true.”

“Then what part isn’t?”

“The part about me liking Abe!” He instantly slapped his hands over his mouth, widening his eyes, “Which I don’t! Like I said, not true!”

Harriet stared down at him, a smile widening on her face before she looked over at Frida, “Okay, I see it now.”

He looked between the two of them, disbelief on his face, “Really?!” he rounded on Frida, who just smirked at him.

“Nevermind that, man. Your boyfriend is ignoring you, let’s try and fix it.”

They walked past him up the stairs, pointedly ignoring his cry of ‘not my boyfriend!’. He had no choice but to follow, eventually leading them to his bedroom. Frida made her way to the bed, pointing at the flag above it with her thumb.

Topher glared, “That’s for guests!”

“What guests have you had?”

“.. Abe.”

He watched as the two girls laughed with one another, and he already regretted asking anyone for help.

“Alright, so, you haven’t spoken to Abe in days.”

He sat at his computer chair, facing the two of them who were on the bed and floor respectively.

“Not true, I’ve tried calling his house multiple times.”

“What happened with that?”

“I got hung up on each time..” He hung his head down, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“That’s good, he told his parents about you then!”

He glared back up at Harriet, who quickly slouched again, “Or not..” she awkwardly said.

Frida hummed to herself, thinking to herself. Topher glanced over at her, waiting for her to say something, “Have you gone to visit him?”

He shook his head, “Wouldn’t that make him more angry? I don’t really have the energy to do all of that.”

The girls groaned, “That’s such a man thing to say, you need to go see him!” Harriet exclaimed, standing up too quickly, wobbling slightly.

Frida put a hand to her leg, steadying her, “She’s right, dude. You need to apologize.”

“What would I apologize for?! We both agreed to everything we did, it’s not my fault he got cold feet halfway through!”

“Yeah but, that’s not his fault either really, now is it?”

He frowned, grumbling to himself as he turned in his chair.

“I guess not..?”

“When someone isn’t sure about something completely, then you don’t do it. Even if they said yes prior, over something as simple as a kiss.”

Topher groaned, “I get that, but we kissed before. So how was it any different?”

Harriet quickly turned towards Frida, mouthing ‘before?’ at her, she could only shrug in response.

“You were in front of a lot of people dude, more specifically Joan. He likes her, man!”

“That’s true.. so, you think if I go say sorry he’ll get over it?”

Frida stood, walking over to him to lean against his desk, “You don’t apologize to someone just to get their forgiveness. You gotta do it because you mean it, so do you?”

“If it helps you, imagine if Abe had randomly kissed you before any of this stuff even happened, in front of everyone!” Harriet chimed in.

Topher continued frowning, his chin on his knees. If he thought about it that way, he supposed he would have been upset. For some odd reason, he knows he wouldn’t feel that way now, but back then he would have acted out.

Which means he definitely did have to go apologize, because deep down he did mean it. Even if he’s not that great of a person, he knows he cares for Abe somewhat. He was his friend.

He sighed, running a hand down his face, “Yeah, yeah okay I do mean it.”

Harriet cheered, clapping her hands. Frida smiled at him, “You know, you’re much more enjoyable to be around this way.”

His eyebrow twitched, “Was that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Who knows!” She stood directly on her feet, pulling him up from his chair, a yelp leaving his throat. Frida turned him towards the door, and pushed him.

“Get out of here and go confess to your man!”

He took a step, before pausing, looking back at her.

“You know exactly that is not what I’m doing.”

She feigned a look of innocence, pointedly not looking at him, “Who, me?”

He stared, squinting his eyes as he shifted his gaze on the two of them.

“I’m going now, but not to ‘confess’ my undying love for him. It’s to apologize!”

He heard the two of them respond with ‘right..’ as he left the room, almost down the stairs before he yelled back up at them to get out of his house.

Once everyone was outside, Harriet asked if he wanted a ride to Abe’s.

Not being one to ignore an opportunity to be lazy, he agreed and was shoved into the backseat. Soon enough they were on the road, and Frida pulled out her phone.

“I’m gonna ask him if he’s home right now.”

Topher put his hands on the side of her seat in front of him, “Are you crazy? You can’t ask him that! He’ll get suspicious.”

“Yo, chill! I don’t have anything to do with the two of you, me asking him this is totally fine. We’re friends, you know.”

His frown came back, scoffing, “Sure, right. Whatever..”

He threw himself back into his seat, staring out the window. Frida let him know later that Abe was indeed home, and soon enough the car came to a stop.

“Alright, get the hell out of here.”

Frida reached back, opening his door and pushing him out.

“Hey!”

“Sorry, good luck with Abe, but I’ve got a date to get to soon!”

The car sped off, leaving Topher in the smoke. He coughed a bit, waving the air, before looking over at the house he was in front of.

Okay, this was fine.

He was going to walk to the door, knock, and say sorry. That was easy, a piece of cake really, a baby could do it.

Except.. Topher really wasn’t one to apologize, he doesn’t remember the last time he genuinely said sorry, and he couldn’t get his feet to move.

It was as if he was frozen in place, just stuck staring at the windows.

He saw the curtains shift slightly, and felt his heart stuck in his throat. Soon enough the door opened, and he was still stuck where he was, nowhere near close to the entrance.

“Topher?”

Abe stood inside, staring out at him.

He tried to speak, and found difficulty in doing so, all he could manage was a muffled noise.

“Um, okay.. I’m going to close the door now..”

“Wait! Wait- I..”

The door stopped, as he stared out at him.

Topher cleared his throat, a strangled noise. “I can’t move.”

“Listen man, I’m not really in the mood-”

“I’m sorry!”

The other stopped, staring at him. Silence fell over them, and he was starting to think Abe was waiting for him to continue.

He wanted to, he did, but it was a bit overwhelming.

“I just wanted to help you get Joan, that’s all.” Topher looked away, his voice getting quieter, “It worked, but I know that’s besides the point.”

Abe opened the door more, stepping outside and closing it behind him, “I can barely hear you.”

Topher just stared back again, wide eyed as Abe got closer.

He did not like Abe, not in the way others think, but he couldn’t get Frida’s incessant words out of his head, as the other got closer.

“I said- that I’m sorry. I have come to realize I shouldn’t have kissed you, even though we both agreed to, but that’s besides the point..”

He looked back down, coughing slightly, “You weren’t sure, and that should’ve been a sign to me. I just knew that it would work, I want you to get what you want, and Joan seeing that worked.”

Abe sighed, putting his hands in his pockets, “I guess it kind of did.”

“Yeah, and I don’t know, I just acted on instinct alone when I saw her coming over. I was just as anxious as you, y’know.”

“Right.. You know, your instinct being to kiss me sounds pretty gay.”

“You know that’s not what I meant!”

Topher watched as Abe laughed, and all the tenseness inside of him smoothed out. He felt he could breathe again, and he smiled slightly up at him.

“I know it worked though, Joan likes you.”

Abe sucked in a breath, staring down at him.

“Frida told me, and honestly it makes sense.”

“You’re sure she does, one hundred percent?”

Topher nodded, his smile widening, “Definitely.”

He looked down at Abe’s hands, and the other took a moment to process what he was told. Eventually, Abe looked back at the door, and took Topher’s hand to bring him inside.

“Okay, let’s make a plan then.”

He’d rather die than look into why he wanted to hold his hand, and let himself be led to the other’s room.

“A plan?”

“Yeah, like our breakup and how I’m going to confess to her.”

“Oh..” Topher shook his head, clearing his throat for hopefully the final time today, “Right, okay, so..”

“Let’s have it be mutual, I don’t want to cause a scene.”

He nodded at Abe, “Yeah, that’s fine. We only really need to personally tell a few people anyways.”

Abe smiled down at him as they sat on his bed, “Exactly. Now, as for Joan..”

The two of them spent the rest of the day planning out what to do for tomorrow, and how Abe was going to confront Joan.

It wasn’t that bad, all thoughts considered. For some strange reason, Topher felt a bit melancholy. He couldn’t place why, because he was happy. Really, he was. Abe was about to get what the two of them (hardly) worked for, in the end everything paid off.

So he wasn’t sure why his chest started to hurt, the more they figured out the details of Abe’s confession, and why his throat felt tight.

He opted to just ignore it, and that’s what he did. For the rest of the day, well into the evening, he ignored what was eating away at him.

Topher wasn’t entirely stupid, but he was stubborn.

By the time it was night, the two agreed to have a sleepover at Abe’s.

As he laid there in bed with him, watching the other slow into a sleep, Topher let himself stare. He denied it, every time it was brought up, because how could only a few days have done this to him, but he knew what this was.

He liked Abe, more than a man should like another, objectively.

More than Topher should, personally.

Abe was going to confess to Joan tomorrow, and all he could do for that is watch. Of course he would be the type of person stuck in an unreciprocated relationship, or lack-of-one.

Just great.

Chapter Text

Topher hadn't gotten much sleep that night.

He remembered laying there, for what must’ve been hours, just staring at the sleeping form of Abe. The way his chest rose, the rhythmic pattern of his heartbeat in his own ears drowning out the soft snores beside him.

Liking Abe was relatively easy, it felt smooth to breathe in the same space as the other. Of course, the thought scared him deeply, but it was easy.

Abe was his first friend, and despite them both being men, it’d make sense that he was his first crush too. It made him worried though that, in a sick way, the only reason he had a crush was because Abe was the only one around him.

That if it had been someone else, Topher would’ve gotten feelings either way.

It sent him spiraling for a good hour or so last night, but in the end he decided that didn’t matter much. He liked Abe now, so that meant his friend was special, who cares about hypotheticals.

Now he was wide awake still, with the sun already rising, casting the room into a dark blue haze.

Abe was going to confess to Joan today, and he’d have to sit here for the rest of his life knowing he caused that outcome.

He was so angry, because he genuinely was happy for Abe, if only for a moment. The realization of his feelings completely ruined everything for himself.

It was like a sickness, the insidious feeling eating him alive.

Topher was never that much of a good person, and he knew that. What hurt him the most was that despite that, there was some good in him, if only a little. Which meant he would let Abe go, because he knew he wasn’t right for him.

That was hard though, and he didn’t want to yet, not entirely at least. He was inherently stubborn, and selfish, and despite the fact that he’s letting Joan win, he won't disappear from Abe’s life.

So, he woke Abe up, and the two of them got ready for school.

He stood there, listening to the other speak about Joan, and nodded along.

He smiled, and walked side by side with him, knowing the outcome of today.

He did everything but cry, but scream, but fight.

Being a good friend came with consequences, and he was glad to have not had any until now.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something, man.”

Abe’s voice brought him from his misery, and he focused his attention onto that, “Hm?”

“When I tell Joan today, can you be there?”

That caused Topher to trip over his feet slightly, steadying himself before Abe could give a helping hand, “What?!”

“Not- you don’t have to be there there with me, just.. be nearby?”

He took in the nervousness of the others’ face, his stance, the anxiety waving off of him, and he sighed.

“Sure,” Topher frowned, lightly pushing Abe’s hand away from him as he continued to walk, “I’ll be there.”

Not long after, the two found themselves in front of the school, and he violently fought the urge to reach for the others’ hand.

With a deep breath, he walked inside with Abe trailing after.

He had an entire day to fully come to terms with the fact of what’s going to happen.

Abe planned on telling Joan after school let out, they both had roughly seven hours to prepare, for entirely different reasons.

Topher wished he could throw a tantrum, to ask Abe to look at him instead, but he knew he was no Joan.

As the two got things from their lockers, they made a point to not look in Joans’ direction, again for entirely different reasons.

He knew Abe was speaking to him, or trying to, but all he could hear in his ears was water.

His feet moved on their own, to their class. The door was so close, and yet so far, and he still couldn’t hear.

Topher never felt so alone before, which is ironic since that’s all he has been for years.

Something warmed jolted him out of his thoughts, and he looked down to find a hand holding his. Suddenly, sound filled his ears, unmuffled.

“Hey, you okay?”

Abe stared down at him, and he could only stare back up, at a loss for words.

“I..” His eyes darted away, spotting Harriet, “I’ll be right back..”

He looked back down at their hands, before ripping his away, ignoring the seering feeling. It burned, almost, and it felt both extremely good and horribly bad.

Abe called out for him, but he ignored it.

Topher’s legs felt like jello, jiggly and weak, as he made his way over to her. She was on her way to walk towards their direction anyways, as they share first period together. All he had to do was walk in front of her path towards her, and she instantly slowed down.

“Woah, you look like a mess! Did things go badly yesterday?”

He shook his head, his voice cracking slightly, “Abe’s confessing to Joan today.”

Harriet stared, before smiling brightly, “Oh that’s wonderful!”

Topher keened quietly, and she paused, “Oh.. oh, Topher.. I’m so sorry.”

“He wants me to be there, Harriet!” He looked around, bringing his voice to a frantic whisper, “Abe wants to confess to Joan, while I’m there! How am I supposed to do that?!”

Harriet looked at him sadly, and he hated it.

“Look why don’t we just.. go to class, for now. We can discuss this at lunch?”

He frowned, clenching his jaw hard enough to hurt, “Fine.”

Talking to her was of no help, and he honestly didn’t know what he expected. All he knew was he couldn’t have stayed next to Abe for longer than he was, and she was an easy distraction.

He watched her as she sidestepped him, walking into their class.

Knowing Abe was in there both shook him to his core and comforted him, and he didn’t know which was worse.

With a heavy sigh, he went inside.

Classes dragged on, in excruciating ways. Throughout them, for the ones shared with Abe, were torture. Being expected to interact with him hurt, especially since the other had no idea anything was going on with him.

The ones without him hurt just as much though, because he couldn’t see him. He couldn’t see the Abe from before he gets with Joan, and he knew that Abe was time-limited now, and that hurt too.

So yeah, the day he was experiencing was absolutely miserable.

Fortunately, lunch came eventually, and he quickly went to seek out Frida instead of Harriet. He wouldn’t say he particularly likes either of them, but out of the two he disliked Frida the least.

She’s been ultimately helpful, in a way.

It didn’t take him long, as she was in the cafeteria where you would typically find someone having lunch. The only downside however, is that of course she wouldn’t be alone.

Joan was there.

Topher knew the two were friends, but seeing her there only made him more nervous. Not to mention, of course Cleo would be there, Frida hanging off her as usual.

Everyone knows that Abe and Cleo are exes, and being confronted with the fact that he’s definitely not Abe’s type is just salt in the already gaping wound.

He cautiously walked up behind Frida, pulling on her sleeve slightly.

Cleo was the first to turn, scowling before noticing it was him, rolling her eyes. Frida looked back almost immediately after, “Oh, hey man!” she smiled at him.

Then Joan turned, and she just stared quietly. He grimaced, before clearing his throat, “I need to uh, talk to you..”

Frida looked between him and Cleo, before nodding, “Right, sure dude.” Cleo went to stand up with her, “I’ll come too.”

Topher eyed her curiously, his frown deepening, “You don’t have to.”

She stared down at him, smirking.

“Yeah, but I have a feeling I know what this is about.”

“Oh, great.” He replied flatly, ignoring Frida’s snort.

The three of them started walking away, out of the cafeteria. He honestly didn’t have a specific place to go, but it would seem Frida had that covered, because she just pulled the two of them into a janitor's closet.

“Alright little man, so what happened yesterday?”

For some reason he couldn’t describe, he felt safe with her. Despite Cleo being there, all he could focus on was Frida, and suddenly everything that’s happened in the past few hours caught up to him.

His throat felt tight, and his words cracked with it, “Abe and Joan are going to be dating after today.”

Cleo scoffed, and he pointedly ignored her.

“You sure? How do you know, Joan didn’t say anything.”

Topher groaned, yanking on both sides of his hat.

“Abe is going to confess to her later today, and she likes him so they’re going to get together.”

Frida frowned, “Oh, and that’s not good for you, is it..?”

He shook his head, “I guess you were right. I didn’t realize it until yesterday.. it sucks.”

She sucked in a breath, grimacing as she looked up at Cleo.

Cleo sighed, putting a hand on her hip, “So you like Abe, huh?”

“I guess so.” Topher scowled, not wanting to look at her. He knew she was going to make fun of him, she wasn’t exactly the nicest person.

“Well, look,” He heard a clicking sound, and glanced up at her looking in a hand-held mirror at herself, “Abe is a good guy and all, but he’s shallow. Not on purpose, but hey, that’s just him.”

She put the mirror away, looking down at him, “He likes good looking people, which you’re not, yet.”

He frowned, lifting a brow at her in confusion.

Frida gasped, looking between the two of them, “Are you saying-”

“Yeah, he needs a makeover.”

Instantly, he started to feel cornered, trapped, “Um, no, that’s fine actually. I don’t want that-”

“Look, Gopher,”

“It’s Topher.”

“Bless you, now- look, Abe only started liking Joan because JFK liked her. Why did JFK start liking Joan? Makeover.”

She said it like it was the most obvious conclusion, like it was something everyone should have known, and follow.

“What you’re working with right now isn’t working, Abe likes more than.. God, what are you even wearing?” Cleo looked down at him in pure disgust, picking lint off of his hat.

He jumped away, knocking into a shelf, “Hey, don’t touch me!”

Frida held up her hands, “Woah, woah! Chill, babe keep going.”

“Right.. anyways, everyone knows he used to be with me, and look at me. I’m perfect, in every way, right?”

She looked down at Frida, who gave her a thumbs up while smiling at her.

Topher gagged at the sight.

“So I would know what he wants, and Joan isn’t that bad of a catch I suppose, so he clearly doesn’t have very high standards in general. I mean, you two are friends.”

“Can you get to the point?”

Cleo sighed, “Fri-Fri and I will give you a makeover soon. Even if he dates that loser, he’ll be bound to notice you anyways.”

Topher frowned, staring at her. She seemed ultimately serious, and Frida was encouraging right beside her. It wasn’t that it didn’t sound like a genuine idea, but..

“This isn’t a movie from the early 2000’s, makeovers like that aren’t realistic.” He looked away, crossing his arms, “There’s no saving me anyways, I’m no Joan of Arc or Cleopatra.”

Frida smiled reassuringly, “You’re right, you’re not. Which isn’t a bad thing, Joan and Cleo are so different in appearances and personality. Yet Abe has liked both of them, you might have a chance.”

“It doesn’t matter if I might, he’s going to be taken by the end of the day- which I’ll have to see by the way! He wants me to be there when he confesses!”

The two girls paused, looking down at him for an extended amount of time.

“Uh, that’s weird.” Frida was the first to speak up, looking back at Cleo who only nodded.

“I think he’s just nervous, I’m his friend so obviously I’d help him through that.”

“Do you want to do that though?”

“Obviously not!” He threw his hands out, accidentally shouting louder than before. He froze, before letting out a strangled sigh, “This is so ridiculous, I don’t even know why I tried to talk to people today about this.”

Topher opened the door, “There’s nothing to even do, it’s not like I’m suddenly going to be liked back-”

“Liked back?”

He instantly froze, looking up to see Abe.

“Uh-”

Abe looked up from him, noticing the other two, “What’s going on in here?”

Topher choked back a response, unable to take his eyes off of him.

“We.. we were just talking about Topher’s crush!”

He instantly looked backwards at Frida, his eyes widening, and she just nervously shook her head smiling.

“You.. like someone?”

The tone of his voice made Topher look back, but Abe looked perfectly fine. Did he just imagine that Abe sounded strangled, just so he can feel better about himself? He really was pathetic.

“.. Yes.. I do.”

Abe cocked his head to the side, looking confused, “Who? We always talk about my crush, you could’ve said something.”

“Uh…” Topher looked around quickly, letting out a choked yelp as Frida put her hand on his shoulder, “JFK!”

He froze, looking at Cleo.

What the Hell.

“JFK..?”

Topher ignored Abe’s gaze, “Yep.. I totally like JFK.”

“I thought you were-”

“Well, you thought wrong!” His voice cracked once again today, for what he felt was the thousandth time.

Abe let out an odd noise, “You said though that-”

Frida started laughing nervously, “Well, would you look at the time, lunch is almost over, think it’s time for us to go!” she grabbed Cleo’s hand, the two scooting past Topher out of the closet.

Just as they were about to speed walk away, Frida gripped Topher's shoulder, “Sorry Abe, my man, we aren’t done with Topher just yet, so.. bye!”

He let himself get dragged away, staring at Abe dumbly as he was stared at right back.

Topher let himself get lost to the concept of time as his eyes never left the spot he was looking in, even after they were in a completely different hallway.

Soon enough he was thrown into another room, this time connected to a sink, “Ow, did you have to do that?!”

Frida sheepishly shrugged, and that’s when he noticed he was in the girls’ bathroom.

“Good, no one's here.” Cleo said, coming back from surveying the stalls.

“Oh well that’s just great because what the fuck!” Topher exclaimed, raising his arms in the air.

Cleo at least had the decency to look a little apologetic, “It was reflex! I was just thinking about how Abe started liking Joan because of JFK and.. well..”

“Actually, hang on..” Frida spoke up, a hand to her chin. She looked deep in thought for a moment, as she stared at Topher, “This might work in your favor, if you think about it.”

Topher looked fed up, scoffing out a laugh, “Wonderful, I’d love to hear how my ‘crush on JFK’ is going to help me.”

“Well, it’s like Cleo said, maybe you can make him.. jealous?”

He just stared at her, before letting out an aggravated groan.

‘No, that’s exactly it. Look Gopher, just talk to him about JFK. I’m pretty sure the two of them are.. ugh, friends now, but there’s got to be some jealousy between the two still. One sided, but, you know.”

“My name isn’t Gopher!”

“Whatever! Who cares, just do it!”

He heaved a sigh, putting his hands in his face, “Okay. Fine.”

Frida let out a whoop, throwing her fist in the air.

“This is gonna be so fun, just wait!”

“Yeah, once you’re done being miserable and pathetic you’ll find this jealousy revenge tactic pretty fun.”

Topher frowned, looking back up, “Whatever. I need to go back to class now.”

“Right,” Frida nodded, taking out her phone. He felt his vibrate in his pocket, “I just sent you my number through my account, text me if you need to.”

He watched the two girls leave, before leaning against the wall sighing.

Then he realized he was in the girls bathroom and quickly left, going back to class.

How was he even going to pull this off?

Chapter Text

The dread in Topher’s stomach never left since lunch, it followed him everywhere that day.

It was as if a vacuum was sucking out all of his energy, and he didn’t know whether to feel grateful or bitter. Grateful that he’d eventually have nothing to give, emotionally, or bitter that he let himself be driven to this point in the first place.

He knew Abe would be seeking him out soon, as their classes had come to their inevitable end. Surely he’d have questions, given what Cleo had blurted out earlier, ones that Topher would have difficulty answering.

That could be easily avoided however, if he just focused on how the other needed to confess to Joan.

So, he waited.

He waited in the halls, by their lockers, for Abe to inadvertently break his heart. Which, all things considered, would be a good thing. Topher did not like men, let alone taken ones. He was a loser, he supposed, but not that much of one.

“Topher!”

Abe's voice caused him to look up, watching him quicken his pace to make it to him.

“Listen, about earlier-”

He cut Abe off, shaking his head, “No need, it’s alright. Let’s get this Joan thing over with.”

Standing straighter, he walked past Abe before looking back, “You did tell her you wanted to meet her after school, right?”

Abe stared, before blinking, “Yeah, but,”

“Really, there’s no need to talk about it.”

“I want to though!”

Topher frowned, “Well, I don’t want to right now. So let’s go,” he sighed, finally looking away, “okay?”

The other made a noise, before walking past him. Topher kept the frown on his face as he followed, taking in his surroundings.

He didn’t want to be visible while Abe confessed, in fact he didn’t even want to hear the two whatsoever. That last one wasn’t viable though, so he just kept an eye out to make sure there was somewhere to be out of sight.

“I’m a bit nervous,” Abe broke him out of his thoughts, “maybe I shouldn’t.. I don’t know.”

Topher sighed, shaking his head. Of course the other would think of chickening out, and if he had any sense he would let him, but he just wanted to get this over with.

“You’re always nervous,” He looked around, before taking Abe’s hand into his, “don’t take this any weird way- just.. don’t bail out.”

Abe stared down at their hands, not even paying a second of attention to what he was saying.

He frowned, ripping it away, “You already told her to meet up with you, just do it!”

“Okay, okay! You’re right, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“Good..”

The two started walking again, and after some time he noticed Joan in the distance. He ignored the way he heart leapt, and bitterly thought that in another universe it would have an entirely different intent.

He looked up at Abe, noticing the other was already staring at him, “Well, I’ll be behind this.. wall? I’ll just walk around the corner and get closer from the other side.”

Abe just continued looking at him, and he started to feel a bit sick.

Not wanting to stand there for a moment longer, he just pushed Abe away from him, forward. Then, he booked it down the side of the hall, rounding the corner.

This was a terrible idea, he knew that for certain. How was he going to just stand there, listening to Abe tell someone else how much he likes them? Likes her?

He thought about how his hand felt in the others’ from earlier, the slight comfort he tried to give Abe made his skin crawl. What was wrong with him? Everything has been weird — off, since he realized his feelings.

Topher wasn’t always this sensitive, was he?

Eventually he walked to the end of the other corner of the wall, having a full view of Abe from behind Joan.

He saw him notice, and rolled his eyes at the thumbs up Abe gave him.

“So.. you said you wanted to talk to me?”

Abe smiled nervously, and he did his best not to feel endeared by it. If he tried, he could almost imagine that he was talking to him instead.

“Yeah! I just.. have realized something, lately.”

The awkward silence in between almost physically hurt him, to the point where he had to squeeze his eyes shut. If he were to be the one confessing right now, surely it would be a lot better than this.

“I like you Joan, more than a friend.”

He could hear the small gasp from her, and it hurt more than the silence.

“You.. like me? That’s..” The hope in her voice made him sick, everything about this was sick. Nothing was right, and he wishes he never agreed to have been here, “but what about Topher?”

He opened his eyes, black spots clouding his vision from having shut them so tightly. Turning his attention back onto them, he had a clear view of his face.

The way it twisted, in confusion at first, “We.. I just needed to figure something out, with myself.”

Topher could see the way Joan was tense, the way her shoulders were high. With the way she sounded a moment ago, it was drastically different from her body language.

“You’re not together?”

“Not anymore.”

“I’m.. look, I don’t want to be a rebound.” Joan sighed out, looking away from him.

“Rebound? I don’t-”

“You just broke up with him,” She interrupted, “I don’t know what happened between you two but I’m not.. going to get with you, just to get hurt, Abe.”

Abe looked concerned, his eyebrows pushed up together, and Topher wished he could help, in some twisted way.

“I’ve liked you since prom, Joan..” Topher watched the way he gently took her hand, watched the way he held it at their sides, feeling sick at the way the two of them intertwined their fingers.

“Prom? I-” Joan let out a scoff, “Of course you liked me when I looked nothing like myself.”

He shook his head, “No, Joan. I don’t care how you look, I like you all the same. You’re my best friend.”

Topher bit back a noise, what kind he didn’t know, but he knew he couldn’t stay here any longer.

The words exchanged between the two afterwards didn’t process in his mind, everything was gibberish, jumbled together and slapped in his face. He couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t stand.

With one last look at Abe, who was entirely focused on Joan, he slowly moved further behind the wall, before walking the entirely opposite direction of them.

Nothing made sense.

Topher was never like this before, and everything was Abe’s fault.

Everything was Abe’s fault, and it hurt, and Topher did not respond kindly to being hurt. He was like a cornered animal, feral and ready to attack.

Abe didn’t deserve to be attacked, not logically, but that didn’t change the fact that Topher was upset. He was mad, and he held grudges. He wasn’t a good person, no matter how selfless he’s been with his feelings.

He didn’t like being rejected, no one does, and he knows Abe never personally did that to him, but he did. He liked Joan, and not him, and that wasn’t fair.

Because if not even his one friend likes him, who would?

It’s not like he’s ever liked anyone before anyways, so what difference would it make, but for some reason it left him with a sickening sense of longing.

A longing he would never be able to fix, a thirst he would never be able to quench. He despised Abe for leaving him like this, leaching off of his feelings like an insect.

It wasn’t his fault, he knew that. It wasn’t his fault.

Eventually, he made it back home.

He didn’t care that he had to walk, he didn’t care what time it was, and he didn’t care that he disappeared before Abe was finished.

All he cared about was being home. Being in his bed, wallowing in his own sadness.

His anger was vicious, it was like a poison seeping through his blood, his veins. Whenever his eyes stung, he dug his nails into his arm.

Topher would not let himself cry.

At the end of the day, he and Abe were still friends, and that’s all that matters.

Liking men wasn’t natural. Well, it was, for other people; but Topher wasn’t like other people. He didn’t get feelings for people, he never has, and he supposed this being the first time makes sense why it ached so much.

His feelings would fade, eventually. He’d forget about all of this, and he’d still have a friend in the end.

It wasn’t normal.

So, he laid there. He ignored his phone vibrating constantly, watching his screen light up from in front of him, but refusing to touch it. Refusing to read the names.

The outcome didn’t matter, whether Abe was accepted or not.

Joan has always liked Abe, he’s heard the rumors, the drama. He wasn’t blind, either. One way or another, the two would get together, and he couldn’t bear that confirmation right now.

A knock on his door startled him, and his heartbeat rattled off in his ears.

“Honey, are you alright?”

The shrill voice of his mother called out, and he groaned quietly to himself, “Go away!”

“Do you want cookies? I can whip something up if you’re feeling down!”

Topher huffed, ripping the blankets off of him as he stomped towards the door, opening it quickly.

“Leave me alone, Caitlyn!”

She continued smiling down at him, in a way that was unnerving. He’s always felt an odd hostile disgust towards her, and he wishes he didn’t.

“Go away! Why are you st-”

The words immediately died, failing to continue from his throat as she took his hat off, running her fingers through his hair.

“What’re you doing?!”

He felt panicked, despite how relaxing it was.

“You always used to enjoy this when you were younger,” The fingers in his hair unstopping, her smile somehow turned sweeter upon second look, “it was the only way to calm you down, back then.”

For some strange reason, a feeling of melancholy overtook him. He felt nostalgic, for something normal that never existed.

Being a clone came with a lot of downsides, having a foster mother being one of them. He supposed that deep down, he’s always wanted a familial connection that was always just out of reach.

He felt tired.

“Let’s get you back into bed.”

She led him over, covering him back in his blankets when he laid down. Instantly afterwards putting her hand back on his head, scratching her nails lightly against his scalp.

“You’re acting weird..” He mumbled, tiredly watching her with still an ounce of caution.

“Just reminiscing.”

Topher hummed, looking away. The movement of his head helped her run through his hair more, and it felt comfortable in a way he never knew he could feel.

“I like someone.”

The movement paused, for just a split moment, “That’s wonderful!”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“No, it’s not.”

“I should make cookies to celebrate!” She went to stand, but he quickly grabbed her wrist, “No!” he froze, his face heating up, “I mean.. no, it’s..”

Topher let go, burying his head underneath his blanket.

“They don’t like me back.”

He didn’t hear anything. No noise, no movement, just silence. He knew telling her anything was a mistake, she was a total air-head.

Then, the blanket started being lifted off him, his face being taken in by a hand.

“I’m sure eventually..” His mother wiped her hand across his forehead, moving his hair out of his face, “Eventually you will find someone who likes you as much as I do.”

Blinking a bit more rapidly than usual, he could feel the bottom of his lip quiver slightly, “You don’t even like me.”

With a shake of her head, he felt his energy dissolve, burying his head into her shoulder sighing deeply.

“I’m not even your- whatever..”

“You’re my everything.”

He let out a choked laugh, “You’re a nutjob.”

She kept quiet, and if her shoulder was wet afterwards, well, no one would tell.

Chapter Text

Abe had been dating Joan for almost a week, now.

Okay, so they weren’t dating, but they were dating!

Topher had gotten a rundown on the situation the day after he left the scene of the confession, despite having repeatedly ignored all of his texts from the other.

Joan wasn’t ready for a relationship with him, not yet. She told him it’s because of how close his confession was to the boys’ breakup, or lack of one if she knew anything.

He had tried ignoring the growing bitterness inside him, as Abe continued on with his agreement with her. Apparently, she was just as selfish as Topher wanted to be, because despite her rejecting him; she agreed to go on dates.

So yeah, they weren’t together, but they were in the ways that mattered.

That made him sick.

It didn’t help that Abe complained sometimes to him, about how he wants to be official with her ‘already’. As if going on dates and getting to hold her hand wasn’t enough, as if he needed to let the whole world know he was her boyfriend.

To make matters worse, Abe continuously tried talking to him about JFK.

Apparently what Cleo had said stuck, because the other never forgot about it. It was almost all he talked about, if not Joan.

Every day was another question, another suggestion; confess to JFK.

That also made him sick.

JFK wasn’t necessarily a bad person, but he wasn’t the kind of person Topher particularly enjoyed. He knows the girls told him to try and use the mans’ existence to make Abe jealous, but he couldn’t imagine himself even pretending to like him.

Which was ironic, because he had managed to pretend to like Abe at first.

The two of them had just never really spoken before, and he didn’t know how to explain that away. He could just say it was in an aesthetically pleasing way, but then that would make Abe think that JFK was his type.

Which, gross.

Saying he didn’t want to talk about it simply wasn’t cutting it anymore, because Abe wasn’t anything but stubborn.

The only thing that managed to get his mind off it was by mentioning Joan, which pained Topher in ways he knew the other would never begin to understand.

It hurt, more than he knew how to express.

When Frida had found out from Joan, he had immediately gotten a message from her account. He had no idea what to even say, and neither did she. He had already known, but Frida found out only a day after he had.

She tried comforting him, but it all was just empty words to him.

Over the past few days, others had noticed something was up as well. Not with Joan and Abe though, but with Topher.

He had spent more of his time with Frida, and in consequence Cleo as well.

It wasn’t a normal sight, to see the two hang out with Topher Bus of all people. No one liked him much, and those who did could be counted on one hand; or one finger.

So everyone was curious as to why the two would spend so much time with him lately, and he had no real answer. None that he could say openly.

Abe had speculated to him on many occasions throughout the day that it was about JFK, as the two of them had been there when Topher told Abe that’s who he liked.

He had no real answer to that either.

Today was particularly difficult, as it was nearing the end of the school week.

It was only a Thursday, but he desperately wished for the weekend for a release from the agonizing annoyance of having to hear about Joan or JFK.

“Really, him and I are cool now! If you need me to put in a word for you, I’ll do it.”

Abe’s voice was all he heard for the thousandth time that time, and he could barely contain himself from screaming.

“Like I’ve said all week, I’m good.”

The other hummed, getting closer into his space, “Really though, it’d be no probl-”

“Abe!” The interruption was a yell, one of frustration, as he glared up at him.

They stared at each other, and he could slowly feel the eyes of those in the hallway on them. He sighed, running a hand down his face, “Please, just drop it.”

“I just want to help you.”

“I don’t want your help.”

He watched a look of betrayal cross his face, “You let Frida and Cleo help though!”

“I don’t! Is it really such a confusing idea that I don’t want to date someone just because I like them?” Topher did his best to keep his angered words hushed, continuing to walk again to avoid everyone's gaze.

“Yes!” Abe quickly walked after him, matching their paces again, “I could never do that with Joan.”

Topher scoffed, rolling his eyes, “You’re doing that right now, you two aren’t together.”

“I know.. it sucks.” His tone reminded him of a kicked puppy, and he let out a huff of a laugh.

Abe wasn’t weird, about the prospect of Topher liking men. At first, he was confused, and had hurled a bunch of questions at him. After processing it though, he didn’t treat him all too differently.

Topher appreciated that, it just was too bad that Abe was the reason he felt that way in the first place. Not like he’ll ever know that.

“No need to worry, Joan will soon realize you harbor no feelings for me.”

The other just grumbled to himself, and soon enough they were at their lockers. It was nearing the end of the day, so they had just come to get their things before heading home.

“Abe!”

Joan’s voice rang out, and with that any good mood he hoped to have dwindled away.

He watched as she rushed over, all smiles and positive emotion, and he resisted the urge to shrink away in disgust.

“Joan! Hey, you still up for tonight?”

Okay, now he grimaced just slightly.

“Yep, I really thought with how much everyone uses the internet these days that theaters wouldn’t be popular,” She fished out two tickets from her pockets, and smiled brightly while showing them off, “but surprisingly that’s not the case!”

The two excitedly continued talking to each other, and he took that as his sign to get going.

As he was about to close his locker, pointedly ignoring the ‘couple’ beside him, it slammed shut by itself. He looked up and instantly noticed Cleo leaning over him.

“Hey, Gopher.”

He noticed Joan and Abe silenced themselves, and he felt a short sense of pride.

“Cleo, always a pleasure.”

“Don’t forget me!” Frida popped out from behind her, smiling lazily at him.

Topher just nodded, and cautiously cast a glance behind him. Frida immediately understood, and cleared her throat.

“We should get going, for that uh..” She glanced up at Abe, and smirked when she noticed his gaze was already on her, “that thing, to help with.. you know.”

She winked as Abe’s face contorted, and took Topher by the arm.

“What thing?”

He knew he made a mistake asking once Cleo piped in, “You know exactly what we mean.” and despite not actually knowing, he felt a sense of fear.

Letting himself get escorted out of the school by the two, he looked back watching as Abe stared at him. Something about the look made his stomach flip, and he had to turn away.

After they all got situated in Cleos’ car, Frida started laughing with her.

“Did you see his face? You saw it, right?”

“Oh I definitely did, I think you’re onto something, Fri.”

He just stared between the two of them from the backseat, frowning in confusion, “Saw what?”

That just caused the girls to laugh harder, and soon enough they were on the road. He just sighed to himself and looked out the window, watching the buildings go by.

“Do you remember what Cleo suggested, a few days ago?”

“She often suggests a lot of things, those of which are idiotic,” He just barely manages to avoid Frida’s hand coming back to whack him, “so no, I don’t.”

Groaning, she looked up at the roof of the car, “The makeover, Topher!”

Topher frowned, tilting his head, “You’re still on about that?”

“Full offense Gopher, but look at you.”

He instantly scoffed, but looked down at his clothes anyways, picking at the hem of his shirt.

“You need to stand out, and that style is doing you no favors.”

The car slowed to a stop, and he glanced around at his surroundings, “Where are we?”

Frida jumped out the car, yanking his door open as Cleo got out a moment after, “My house, of course.”

Topher grimaced as he stared at Cleo, before looking back at the house, “Why are we here..?”

He let himself be dragged inside, ignoring their chattering as he got thrown on the floor of Cleo’s bedroom. Before he could speak again, a bunch of clothes got thrown on him, and he flinched when a hanger hit his head, “Watch it!”

“Sorry, little dude.”

“You’re going to try all of these on,” Cleo spoke as she walked up to him, picking some articles of clothing off him as she inspected them closely.

He huffed, “That’s interesting, one thing though; these are women's clothes.”

“Clothes don’t have no gender, man!” Frida spoke up, frowning at him.

To that, he lifted up one of Cleo’s black skirts, raising a brow.

She blinked, before looking away, “Well, some guys look good in skirts.”

“Definitely not me, though.”

The three went back and forth with one another, before Cleo sighed, “Look, I have some of Frida’s clothes here too, so stop complaining.”

With that, the girls got to work.

Topher had scowled when his hat was taken off, and recoiled when they both went to touch his hair.

“Chill man, we’re just getting a feel of what to do here.”

“From the looks of it, definitely a wash if anything.” Cleo blanched, picking up a strand.

He huffed, “I wash it plenty.”

It was obvious they didn’t believe him, and then flat out stated to be true, as Cleo took a closer inspection of his face; “I don’t think I want you wearing my clothes until you shower..”

“Shower?!”

Frida barked out a laugh, and went to speak before looking at him, and then laughing again. He could only scowl, staring at himself in Cleo’s mirror, he didn’t look that bad did he?

Apparently the answer was yes, because he was rushed off into the bathroom, all of Cleos hygiene supplies being explained to him in great detail, with the intention of being used. He tried to understand everything being told to him, but it was a bit overwhelming.

“Do I really have t-”

“Yes!”

Being yelled at by the two caused him to shut up, and he did his best to follow.

As much as he hated to admit it, he did feel better after using all of the products in the bathroom. It was disgusting, but his skin felt like it could actually breathe now, and he was starting to believe that he actually was that gross.

Soon enough he was finished, and was quickly whisked away in his towel by Frida.

“Okay, now for your hair I brought some stuff.”

“My hair?” He frowned at his reflection, confused. The shower took care of that, didn’t it?

She started emptying her backpack, placing down bottle after bottle, “Yes your hair, it’s curly but looks so dry all the time.”

With the sound of a pop, he watched as she started pouring something white in her hand. He instantly recoiled as her hand went to his head, and yelped as Cleo came to hold him still.

He grimaced at the coldness, watching her fingers run through his hair in the mirror.

“This helps hydrate your curls, man.”

“Hydrate..?”

After a while, he had to admit his hair did look shinier than before. Somewhat better, if he had to be completely honest.

Then Cleo had to ruin his marveling by grabbing his chin out of nowhere, “Now for your makeup!”

He instantly leaned back, staring widely at her.

“Makeup?!”

She just scoffed, grabbing him again, “Yes makeup. It won't be much, trust me.”

Frida came up beside her, squinting at his face, “If we want to make him like Joan, we should use eyeliner.”

“I don’t want to be like Joan!”

The two groaned, rolling their eyes as they looked around her makeup box.

“You’re not going to be like her, just.. similar!”

Frida’s words did nothing to comfort him, and he continued to grimace as Cleo found what she needed and came towards him with the black pencil.

“Is it going to hurt?”

“Not if you hold still.”

As much as he hated to admit it, he was a bit scared when she held his eye open. Especially when she started to do his ‘waterline’, whatever that meant. It took longer than he would have hoped for, and when he expressed that he was told it was his fault for moving.

Once she was finished, he subtly tried looking at himself in the mirror in front of him, his eyes immediately widening at the black that surrounded them.

“That accentuates your eyes much better now.”

“Let’s do eyeshadow too!”

“Eyeshadow?!”

Frida was now the one in front of him, smiling in a way he could only deem as utterly crazy. She examined his face, moving it from side to side as she hummed to herself, “Cle-Cle, let’s use your purple one.”

Eventually, the two were finally done poking and prodding at his face, and he was surprisingly not that hateful of the end result.

He never wore makeup before, but it didn’t look that bad on him; not this kind anyways.

There wasn’t much time to stare at himself though, because almost instantly he was thrown onto his feet and trying on multiple pieces of clothing.

“We need something that screams Joan, or maybe Cleo..” Frida mumbled to herself, rummaging through the piles of clothes.

That would make sense, he supposed. If the two of them were trying to make Abe notice him, then it would make sense if he looked like the person he currently had eyes for.

“We could use this black top?” Cleo suggested, holding it up in front of him.

“That’s good but maybe.. we can make some adjustments to it.”

Soon enough they had him in a cut up black muscle shirt, one that coincidentally showed off way too much of his stomach. He could only raise a brow at the girls, frowning as they giggled to themselves.

“It looks good, it matches your makeup.”

Frida’s words weren’t that comforting.

“It does resemble Joan slightly, she wears that stupid black shirt all the time too.” Cleo mentioned, as she held the hem of the shirt on him inspecting it.

The harder part was the pants.

Cleo was significantly taller than him, so the majority of the bottoms were ruled out. Thankfully, as mentioned earlier, Frida did have some clothes already there.

Unfortunately, one of those pants was bright pink. He didn’t like it, which of course meant they did.

“These are flared out, so we’ll need to get him some taller shoes.” Frida said, looking over at Cleo. Luckily, her girlfriend always wore thick shoes, and easily was able to find some black sandals for him to try on.

After some bickering on whether he was really going to wear pink pants, they convinced him to just try. He struggled to get into them, and struggled walking in the sandals, but as soon as he told them he was done they instantly squealed after looking at him.

“Oh this is perfect Gopher, you look just as horrible as Joan!”

“Abe is totally going to notice you.”

Topher looked down at himself, grimacing. He felt too exposed, and way taller than usual.

“Do I want Abe to notice me? I feel so..” He made a noise, shaking his hand from side to side.

Frida frowned, staring at his outfit more closely, “You seem different.”

He raised an eyebrow, signaling her to continue, “It’s just.. you never used to be this insecure before.”

She went to stand behind him along with Cleo, letting the mirror be unobscured in front of him, “You have always been so loud, and honestly not that great of a person. You have never restrained yourself before, from what I’ve seen.”

Topher just shrugged, staring down at his feet.

“I think what Frida is trying to say is stop being a baby, grow up and get your horrible man.”

Cleo lifted his chin up, letting him look in the mirror at himself, “Don’t let Joan get with both of my exes, that’d be embarrassing.”

He stared at his reflection, a little bit shocked at how well the colors went together. Then again, black did go with everything. His hair was his favorite part, which he usually hated the most, so he had to admit that Frida had a point.

“You look so glamorous, dude.”

“I guess I.. do.”

“Hell yeah you do! Very glam metal.” Frida swung an arm around his shoulder, and he just shook his head, “I don’t think that’s right.”

As he continued looking at himself, he paused before frowning, “Uh, doesn’t makeup smudge? How do I look like this tomorrow?”

The two girls stopped along with him, staring at each other as they started to smile, and he suddenly didn’t like the chill that fell over him as they both turned to look at him.

“Sleepover!”

Chapter Text

The morning after was less hectic than the evening before.

Getting done up all over again churned his stomach slightly, but he knew what to expect this time. The girls had explained to him yesterday that it was in his best interest to spend the night, seeing as he could get the makeup off and take another shower for school.

So that’s what he did, and when Frida’s alarm blared through the room the next morning, the three of them had gotten to work on his appearance.

He let himself examine the new look in Cleo’s mirror more than he did yesterday, twisting his body to see how it looked from multiple angles.

“Stop fussing over yourself and come on!”

Topher frowned, looking over towards Frida in the doorway, “This outfit is kind of.. breezy.”

Cleo scoffed from behind her, coming back into her room to pull a jacket from her closet. One that definitely had to also belong to Frida, if anything.

“There, you can wear that if you get cold, now let’s go.”

The three of them made their way downstairs, hopping into Cleo’s car as it rumbled to life. He hated to admit it, but he did have fun. Even if they scrubbed and prodded at him for hours, it was an interesting contrast to his sleepovers with Abe.

With Abe, he usually just stayed on his computer, or the two of them talked about their plans for whatever scheme they were up to at that moment.

With the girls, he actually watched some movies, and played traditional sleepover games. Though he did start craving the internet soon, and managed to sneak onto his phone every so often.

He fiddled with the jacket in his hands, staring out the window. Frida was right yesterday, he has been acting weird.

It was easy to let himself get sucked into the mopey quietness of rejection, but that was over. Joan got to be selfish with Abe, so he can too. He wasn’t going to let his crush get strung along, even if it was for a very understandable and logical reason.

Topher has always been prideful, in everything he’s done. Sure, he’s a little insecure, but other people don’t need to know that.

Joan is competition, and he is nothing but competitive.

As the car slowed to a stop, he let the other two get out first. Okay, so he was going to be more confident, but this outfit was still a drastic change from his usual. He wanted some guard against his appearance.

He stepped out, prepared to somewhat hide himself behind the two of them, before Frida linked her arm with his.

“I know you’re clean now, so touching you is no problem to me.”

He stared blankly at her, “Thanks.” his bland response made her laugh, and soon enough Cleo was standing on his other side.

“Let’s get this show on the road.”

They started walking inside, and it took him a bit to process that he was in full view of anyone who would see him, especially considering they got to school at a much later time than he usually would.

Just the thought of others seeing him made him feel a bit sick, and he tried to bring the jacket in his hands in front of his body, before Cleo also hooked arms with him.

“Try not to worry so much, man.”

“Yeah, you look not as bad as usual.”

Topher let out a huff, before straightening his posture. He knew they were just trying to make him feel better, and Cleo doesn’t lie to people she believes are beneath her, from what he gathered at least.

So he must look at least a little good, right?

It was almost like a movie, one of those cheesy rom-coms from the earlier 2000s. It was easy to forget that a lot of the new students right now were from that time.

When the three had walked inside, it was like a quiet bomb had dropped.

They weren’t late, by any means, just later than his usual time. Students were already at their lockers, some were talking to each other before class, but the hallway was anything but empty.

It had become a somewhat regular occurrence to see the three of them together, but not like this.

He grimaced slightly at the eyes on him, feeling like he was being circled by a bunch of lions. Then Frida elbowed him, and that helped remind him he wasn’t doing this for anyone but Abe.

Everyone else didn’t matter, not to him. He didn’t care who looked at him, who spoke of him, he only cared about getting Abe’s attention.

So he cleared his throat, brought his head up high, and walked with about as much confidence as you could expect him to in platformed sandals.

Joan and Abe were already at their lockers, seemingly deep in conversation. With his added height, he had no need to clear his throat for them to notice he was there. Though, with the other two girls with him it would be obvious anyways.

Opening his locker, he pointedly ignored the gawked squeak of Joan.

“Topher..! What are you..?”

He took a bit of pride in the way her sentence floated off, he still had to look up at her to address her, but it wasn’t that bad all things considered.

“Sorry, I spent the night at Cleo’s.”

Abe finally chimed in, letting out a resounding ‘what?!’.

Topher smirked, turning towards him as Frida leaned against his shoulder, “Doesn’t he look great, Abe? We spent all night on this.”

“Frida — why are you hanging out with him out of school?” Joan spoke up, and the two started talking to each other as Cleo came up behind him. She put her hand on his shoulder, having taken Frida’s place to smile at Abe.

“Aren’t makeovers super fun? It was definitely a challenge, we scrubbed and prodded at him all evening after school.”

Abe let out an odd noise, furrowing his brows at the two of them.

Topher tilted his head, “Is it too much? You’d tell me if I looked bad, right?” he did his best to seem unaware of the issue at hand, trying more-so to push his buttons.

“You look.. well it’s just.. It’s very-”

Suddenly his world view toppled slightly, the hand on his shoulder having been removed and his line of vision blocked by something.. red?

He blinked rapidly, quickly stepping back as he looked up, coming face to face with JFK.

Cleo scoffed, backing into Frida. He faintly noticed the conversation with Joan had died down, and could almost feel eyes staring directly onto him. If he had to guess, the three girls were paying unwanted attention to the situation at hand.

“Who’s uh.. this broad?”

Joan cleared her throat, trying to step between the two, “It’s no one, JFK!”

“Gee, thanks.” Topher frowned, trying to move away from the arm blocking his head. Frida came to stand next to him, shaking her head; “No one says ‘broad’ anymore, dude.”

Topher finally pushed Joan away, scowling slightly before straightening back up, “I’m not one anyways.”

JFK stood there for a moment, staring down at him for longer than he would have liked to be stared at.

“Men can dress like that now?”

“If they want to.”

JFK seemed to take in Frida’s words for a moment, unmoving as Joan and Abe tried to nudge him a bit to go away. Topher continued to frown, looking up at Abe. He didn’t really understand the big deal of him being here, unless..

No, that wouldn’t make sense though.

“I’ve got some, er, thinking to do!” JFK finally spoke, walking away from them.

Joan let out a relieved sigh, and he instantly clocked down on that, squinting up at her. She nervously tried avoiding his gaze, and he only continued to glare harder.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! .. I’ve gotta go!”

He watched her quickly walk away, looking back at Abe.

“Yeah, we’re gonna go too.” Cleo said, starting to walk away. Frida instantly wrapped an arm around her, smiling back at him; “Have fun!”

The expression on Abe’s face was one he could only describe as conflicted, and he had no idea what to do with that information. Most likely it was caused by how weird Joan was acting, certainly.

“So.. they gave you a makeover, huh?”

He nodded, looking back down at himself, he wasn’t as cold as he thought he was going to be.

“Does it look bad?”

“No! I mean.. no, I guess I’m just not used to how open everyone is compared to.. y’know.”

Topher raised a brow, tying the jacket around his waist, “So it looks bad compared to 2003.” he blandly stated, crossing his arms.

Abe shook his head quickly, “That’s not what I meant! You look good, great even!”

The compliment was nice, but.. he could mess around with him a bit more.

“I don’t look great all the time?”

He started smirking as Abe struggled to answer, even though it stung only slightly. Of course he would only like how he looks when he dressed completely opposite to what he’s like, Cleo did say that’s just the kind of person he is.

Then again, Topher wasn’t all that above shallowness either.

“I don’t actually care, Abe. Let’s just go to class.”

As he turned to walk, he felt his hand get taken, instantly jumping away from the contact. He stared at Abe widely, watching the other pause with his hand out before straightening up.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

He watched the others' face get red from embarrassment, “It was a force of habit..!”

Topher cleared his throat, looking away, “Right..”

They both walked to class, and the only thing that was on his mind was that they hadn’t held hands since Monday.

What force of habit was there?

The rest of the day went on surprisingly normal, all things considered. He would say the makeover was a success, if anything. It managed to get Abe’s attention, and he figured out something interesting about Joan.

She definitely still had a thing for JFK.

It honestly made his blood boil, the fact that she really was stringing Abe along. Though, it also made him somewhat happy. If he could manage to get the two of them together, Abe would be on the market again.

He wasn’t quite sure how he was going to do that though.. maybe Frida could help.

School was almost over, and he felt pretty relaxed as he spoke with his.. friends. Yeah, he guessed he could call Frida and Cleo his friends now. It was weird, but it felt good.

That relaxation didn’t last long though, as JFK once again made another appearance. He was worried he would have to see him at lunch, but he was surprisingly absent during so.

Now he was here, great.

“I’ve thought long — and er, uh — hard! Hah!”

Topher frowned up at him, “About..?”

“You bein’ my girlfriend!”

He blinked, before widening his eyes. Looking around, he noticed there were too many students around than he would have liked having heard that, and he whipped his head back towards him.

“I’m not a girl, JFK.”

“Right.”

JFK just stood there, staring down at him. He was starting to get confused, and looked back at the couple behind him for help. Frida just shrugged and Cleo shook her head, they were of no help.

“So…?”

“So what?”

He slapped a hand to his face, “So I can’t be your ‘girlfriend’!”

JFK nodded, “Exactly- wait, sorry. Yeah! I meant boyfriend!”

There was a collective gasp in the hall, and if this were happening to anyone else he would have laughed.

“What in the world are you saying?!”

He was certain JFK was straight, he was the epitome of it if anything. None of this made sense, and he honestly was starting to feel a bit lightheaded.

“Well, I did some soul searching. If I’m gonna be with a guy, they might as well be a good looking one!”

He stared blankly, “I am not good looking.”

“Tomato, Tomahto!”

Topher glared, leaning in slightly with a hushed whisper, “What about Joan?!”

“What about her?”

He widened his eyes, leaning back as he scoffed, “What about h- no. My answer is no.”

JFK was clearly just confused, and he thinks he knows why. Topher was dressed up inspired by Joan, wearing Cleo’s (alright, Frida’s) clothes. If anything, he just looked like a cheap replica of two girls he’s dated in the past.

There was nothing more to it, and he wasn’t going to let this ridiculous outfit get in the way of his new plan of getting him and Joan back together.

“Okay, I understand..”

Topher sniffed, looking away, “Good.”

His vision was obstructed by JFK once again, bewildered at how quickly he moved, “Please, though?”

“No!” He instantly pushed the others’ face away, scowling as he quickly walked away.

What did he just get himself into..?

Chapter Text

The weekend was more calm than Friday had been, which he had desperately been trying to forget.

He had chosen to spend the evening after school on Friday alone at home, and the entirety of Saturday, but of course he wouldn’t have been able to get away from any social interaction on Sunday.

It was only a little past the time he’d usually eat lunch, when there was a knock on the door. His mother was always home, so getting to the door first was always out of the question. There weren’t many people who would come knocking on their door, and the select few of people who would had him feeling anxious.

“Honey, your friends are here!”

Topher frowned, squinting as he sat up on the couch. Plural most likely meant Frida and Cleo, as they never went anywhere without the other lately.

Watching the direction where the door was, Frida came tumbling inside, looking around before spotting him on the couch. Her actions were frantic, and that only made him more anxious, instantly flinching when she grabbed him by the shoulders.

“Dude, you will not believe what I found out!”

Cleo came up behind her afterwards, smirking down at Topher. He gulped.

“Ignoring me for almost an entire weekend is not a smart decision, Gopher.”

“Right.. well, I just needed a break after everything on Friday-”

“Like how JFK confessed his undying love to you?” Frida huffed a laugh, and Topher instantly felt his face heat up.

“That is not what happened!”

Cleo leaned against the back of the couch, “You’re right about that, Gopher. Frida and I decided to do some digging, after school ended and you ran home.”

Frida nodded excitedly, “It is the most ironic shit I’ve ever witnessed.”

Topher cocked his head, sitting on his knees towards the two, “What do you mean?”

He watched as Cleo turned towards the front door, calling out for something- or someone, to ‘come inside’. Instantly the air in the room felt thin as JFK awkwardly shuffled in, and Topher instantly squawked.

“What the hell is he doing here?!”

Cleo instantly put a finger to his lips, looking down at him both literally and figuratively, “Shh, shh.. You’re going to want to hear this.”

The girls turned towards JFK, raising their eyebrows to signal him to speak. Topher grimaced, expecting the absolute worst.

“I don’t actually like you.”

Silence filled the room, and he could only stare with his jaw dropped.

“What?”

Frida snickered next to him, and he felt his cheeks flare up once again.

“I mean, you did look smokin’ on Friday but-”

“Smoking..?”

“I love Joan!”

Topher blinked, his frown deepening. Well, he’ll pretend that didn’t hurt as much as it did. He supposed he should get used to always being second place to her, she was everything he wasn’t and everyone knew it.

“What does that have to do with me, exactly?”

“She’s dating Abe!”

He raised an eyebrow, staring up at JFK, “Right.”

“And I know you’re still into Abe,”

“I’m sorry what-”

“so I was thinking that we could-”

“No, back up, what do you mean I’m into Abe?”

It was JFK’s turn to frown, looking confused down at him, “Aren’t you?”

Topher could only stare, looking between him and the girls. Eventually, he threw his hands into the air, “Is it obvious to everyone but Abe?!”

“Mm, to be fair, you told him you liked JFK.”

“He what?”

“I didn’t tell him that, Cleo did!” He pointed his finger at the person in question, who only scoffed and pushed his hand away.

“Whatever, Gopher. Listen, you want Abe back right?”

He could only bring himself to nod, “Then listen to what JFK has to say.”

Letting out an annoyed sigh, he turned back towards the other with a bit of a glare. He couldn’t help it now, to be angry at him. If JFK and Joan had just never broken up, Topher wouldn’t be in this mess.

“You like Abe, I like Joan.. so, I was thinking, let’s make them jealous!”

Topher’s breath hitched, and he instantly looked at Frida, who was already smiling at him smugly.

“Does he mean..?”

JFK nodded, “Let’s date each other!”

His mouth hung open for a moment, staring back at JFK.

“You’re right, this is ironic..”

The rest of the day consisted of the four of them hanging out, mostly coming up with plans. It was weird, talking so much with JFK. He had seemed to be in his own different world, both popular in any group.

He had sort of seemed unattainable to Topher, in terms of conversation and friendship. There was never any part of him that thought he’d end up pretending to date him just to get back at Abe, of all people.

The details were more complex than they were with Abe, things were more serious on their ends.

It made Topher feel sort of bad, for misjudging JFK since now. Even though he wasn’t a big fan of Joan, it was obvious that she had a very loving boyfriend- now ex.

JFK practically sung her praises, as if she held the sun and the moon. It made him feel queasy, in comparison to how Abe had spoken about her. In hindsight, it was more obvious now that Abe simply had an obsession with the idea of having Joan.

During the quiet moments of their planning, Topher and JFK talked more about a lot of different things, though all relating in some way to the topic at hand.

At one point, he had asked;

“Do you even like boys?”

“I do.”

and that was enough.

If JFK could openly accept liking boys as easily as that, then Topher could too. Even if the one he liked was a selfish, self-absorbed idiot.

By nightfall, the girls had gotten tired and started making plans on going home. Topher stood with them to walk them out, and JFK hung back.

It made him feel weird.

“Text if you need anything man, see you tomorrow at school.”

Frida gave him a light punch to the shoulder, walking to the car with Cleo. He gave a slight wave after them, before finally closing the door. Turning, he noticed JFK staring at him, and felt his breath stutter.

“You going home too?”

JFK shrugged, arms hanging over the back of the couch as he continued to stare at Topher, “Figured I’d spend the night.”

“Great.” Topher responded flatly, grimacing.

“There’s something we didn’t bring up in our planning earlier.”

Topher locked the front door, internally sighing to himself, “Oh really, and what’s that.”

“Kissin’, bangin’, huggin’, screwin’.”

He instantly choked on nothing, turning towards him quickly, “Excuse me?!”

“You know, couples stuff!”

Shaking his head, Topher crossed his arms, “There will be none of that- isn’t banging and screwing the same thing?!”

JFK snorted, “You would think that.”

Tophers’ frown deepened, “Well no, I’m not doing that. I’m not Joan you know, right?”

“Then what about just normal stuff, like kissing?”

He stared at him, “Kissing is normal to you?”

“Sure.”

With a sigh, Topher threw himself onto the couch next to him. This was going to be more difficult than he thought, he hadn’t really thought about having to do public affection with JFK, mainly because it didn’t particularly interest him like it had with.. well.

“We’ll do stuff people dating do- not sleeping together.” He raised a finger at JFK when he started to open his mouth.

“So kissing, holding hands, that kind of stuff right?”

Nodding towards JFK, he cleared his throat, “Yep.”

This was going to be grueling, and he knew it. Kissing never interested him before, not until Abe, and he knew he wasn’t going to enjoy kissing JFK like he would with him. There wasn’t much of a choice though, JFK was never one to be lowkey with the people he dated.

“I am not going to enjoy this..”

Topher instantly snapped out of his thoughts, turning to gawk at JFK.

“What?! What is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing personal, pipsqueak,”

Topher scoffed, “Right, don’t you like men-?!”

“I do, but I love Joan. She’s the one I want to be kissing right now, the fact I need to do this to win her over is.. interesting.”

Frowning, he watched JFK’s expression closely, before sighing once more, “Yeah, me too.”

“It just feels like when I was with Cleo, again. I always seem to be competing with Abe!”

With a snort, Topher smiled bleakly, “Yeah, that’s sort of how I’ve been feeling with Joan lately.”

The two of them sat in silence for a while, the only sound coming from his house's old refrigerator. It felt nice, to have this sort of solidarity with someone. Someone who understood what it felt like to always feel second place to someone else.

Eventually, JFK slipped his hand into Tophers’, and squeezed. The unexpected comfort sat in his stomach, and any anxiety he had from earlier that still lingered disappeared.

Chapter Text

The beginning of Monday morning was uneventful, aside from the crick in his neck.

Him and JFK had fallen asleep on the couch the night before, just holding one another in their sorrow of woe. They exchanged some more ideas, mulled over what Cleo and Frida had added to the conversation hours before, and planned.

The good news is that Joan obviously still has feelings for JFK, so this will be a piece of cake for his benefit. The bad news, however, is that Abe has yet to show any interest in Topher.

Even if this were to work, there’s no saying that Abe would end up dating him after Joan.

So the two had gotten ready, and rode to school together. Being driven in JFK’s car was a statement, he would have to be stupid to not realize that. It was only normal for them to enact their plan as soon as possible, the weekend having already eaten away at their time.

He was nervous to see Abe, considering all of this. The multiple conversations of trying to get Topher to make the first move had been grueling, and he was sure the other would only get more annoying now that he finally did, to his soon-to-be-knowledge anyways.

JFK parked in the student lot, and came around to open the door for him.

Topher hadn’t dressed up as glamorous as he had the week prior, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t done up. Frida and Cleo had brought over some clothes yesterday for him to wear today, and the upside to it was that he hadn’t needed to wear makeup. The downside was the ensemble was another Joan copy.

Taking JFK’s hand, he stepped out of the car and the two of them walked towards the entrance, hand-in-hand.

Being the center of attention was something he was now accustomed to, lately.

What with ‘dating’ Abe, and then his makeover, and now this, it was almost laughable how many times people had their heads turned towards him these days now.

“We’ll just go to my locker, Joan will surely be there anyways because of Abe.” He quietly spoke to JFK, who just nodded in return. The walk to his locker wasn’t long by any means, and eventually a sea of people parted for him to notice the two in question.

They always seemed so deep in conversation every time he’s seen them lately, it pulled his heart in a way that made him feel as if he was about to be forcibly spun around.

“Er-uh, watch it! My boy’s gotta get to his locker!”

Joan instantly perked up, looking away from Abe quickly before her face fell. Topher felt sick with glee, as he watched Abe look confused at her before turning to see the two of them as well.

He walked to his locker, opening it as if everything was normal.

“Your.. boy?” Joan spoke first, her voice confused.

“So you’re friends with him too now, JFK?”

Abe’s question caused a laugh to rip through him, feeling JFK’s hand on his lower back.

“Nah, Lincoln. Well, I guess my friend, if you mean boyfriend!” His voice instantly got louder at the end, as he slapped the back of Topher’s shoulder.

He fought the urge to flinch.

“Boyfriend?!”

Joan’s voice sounded strained, and Topher smugly looked up at her, “What’s wrong, Joan? Is it so wrong of JFK to also be attracted to men?”

He watched as she widened her eyes, looking around quickly, “Of course not! I just- it’s so unexpected, that he’s with you! I mean-”

“Oh?” Topher closed his locker, leaning back against JFK as the other put his arm over his shoulder, “What do you mean by that, exactly. Is there something wrong with me, Joan?”

“No! It’s- you’re.. it’s just you, you know?”

He frowned at her, holding tightly onto JFK’s wrist, now that his arm was hanging around him, “Care to expand on that?”

Abe let out a nervous laugh, glancing between the two of them.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean anything badly by it-”

Topher rolled his eyes, “Obviously you’d say that.”

“Wh- huh?” Abe paused, staring down directly at him. He honestly couldn’t believe he had feelings for this oaf, he was such a jerk and so so stupid.

“Joan is always saying snarky comments about me, and while I might not really care enough to hate her for it, I have feelings too you know.” He shook JFK’s arm off him, the comfort no longer being found, “Everyone loves Joan so I get it, but you’re not a good friend to me if you just keep trying to placate it and not end it.”

He immediately walked away, trying not to feel stung that his new fake boyfriend didn’t go after him, and neither did Abe.

There wasn’t much time to dwell on that though, as he walked into his classroom. The bell hadn’t rung yet, but there were still some people inside, and word of just who he came to school with had seemed to of passed relatively fast.

Being immediately bombarded with questions was something he expected, just not from people other than Abe or Joan.

“Is it true you and JFK are dating?”

“Did you bribe him?”

“Why have you been dressing so differently lately?”

All he could do was stare, mouth open as he had difficulty hearing everything asked of him. So instead of answering, he just sat down at his usual desk, and cleared his throat; “Yes, JFK and I are together- and no I didn’t bribe him, that would be non-consensual and-”

Everyone immediately groaned and started tuning him out, so he let out a sigh of relief and relaxed against the chair.

This was going to be a long day.

Which was an understatement, because it dragged on for what felt like years. By the time it was lunch, Topher felt as if he had given a speech that lasted a lifetime, with all the hours he spent having to answer questions in class in regards to JFK.

Just as he was about to walk into the lunchroom, he felt someone grab his arm, and he immediately was pulled to the side.

“You’re going to be sitting with us again, like you did with Abe.”

Topher blinked up at JFK, feeling slightly dizzy from being grabbed so roughly, but just shook his head and nodded, “Right, okay.”

“Oh, and by the way,” JFK leaned down to his ear as the two of them started walking into the cafeteria, “there is going to be a lot of kissing.”

Gulping, he just continued staring straight as JFK led him to where everyone was already seated.

“There’s the lovebirds!” Frida exclaimed, smirking knowingly at the two of them as they sat down. He glanced around at the table and did an internal headcount, confirming to himself that everyone was there.

“I am just in so much shock!” Harriet squealed, leaning over the table slightly, “It’s like everything keeps coming out of nowhere, I mean.. Topher and JFK? Who would’ve guessed!”

Topher huffed, “Right, who would have.”

He took a quick glance upwards, somehow only noticing that Abe was sat right in front of him, Joan right at his side in front of JFK.

What a coincidence.

“I mean, first Abe and Topher- oh, sorry guys.. is that too fresh still?”

With a snort, he rolled his eyes, “Nope, we’re all good, clearly.” he turned his gaze onto Joan, who avoided him pointedly.

Harriet smiled, “Well good, you two seemed to have gotten over that so quickly! I mean, Abe got with Joan just so quickly.”

Just as he was about to answer, he felt a hand on his chin, and his view was instantly brought to JFK’s face, “Er uh- enough about Lincoln and my boy!” Topher instantly relaxed, realizing he was playing the jealousy route.

That relaxation didn’t last though, because as soon as JFK turned his attention back onto him, the two were kissing.

Sure, Topher knew that he would have to do more public displays of.. affection, with JFK than he had to with Abe, but that didn’t mean he particularly wanted to, or expected it. Though JFK did tell him his plan.

Looking at Abe out of the corner of his eye, he noticed he was being stared down heavily. Well, this was all for Abe anyways, so he closed his eyes, and did his damn best to make out with JFK like he’d seen him do with Joan so many times.

It was ironic in a way, that he had been copying Joan slightly for days by this point, and now he was kissing her ex-boyfriend. Was that pathetic of him? Who’s to say, he wouldn’t listen anyways.

There was definitely more.. tongue action than there had been with Abe. Even though he did try, on that front. So this was saying something, given this was his first kiss with JFK.

Eventually JFK pulled back, smirking as he turned his attention back to the rest of the table. Topher had to collect himself a bit longer than the mere seconds JFK seemed to, but soon he was looking back at Abe.

If Topher was any sort of optimistic person, he would assume the look on Abe’s face was that of jealousy, or maybe hurt. However, he was never that great at reading people, and considering he’s currently dating someone he’s been crushing on for a decade, those chances are low.

Still though, if this whole ordeal has taught him anything, it’s that he himself is obnoxious, so why not play it up.

“How have you been, Abe?”

He leaned his chin against his hand, smiling up at the other.

“Uh- well, I’ve-..” Abe continuously stuttered, and he spared a glance at Joan throughout it, noticing her eyes have yet to leave JFK. Perfect.

Topher continued to smile as he redirected his focus back onto Abe, “You seem to be doing well with Joan.”

“Y-yeah.. Yes, I am!”

He felt an arm around him, and let himself be somewhat pulled onto JFK as he continued to stare at Abe, “That’s great, I’m happy for you.”

“What’re you uh, happy about, babe?”

He turned his head towards JFK, “Just how great Abe and Joan seem to be doing, right Joan?” the girl in question instantly looked at him, and he instantly clocked the guilt on her face from a mile away.

“Right!”

“Listen Topher, about this morning..” Abe’s voice rang out, and Topher instantly cleared his throat, “It doesn’t matter, don’t worry about it.”

“What happened this morning?” Harriet asked.

JFK held Topher’s hand, right on top of the table, “Just Joanie being surprised I’m with Toph.”

“Toph..?” Abe questioned.

“Oh, that makes sense! I mean, you two used to date too!” Topher smirked at Harriet’s reply, it was almost too easy to stir the pot.

“Yeah, I guess she was just jealous for a moment.”

Joan instantly perked up, “Jealous? Who, me? No, I’m with Abe.”

Abe frowned, looking between the three of them. He narrowed his eyes eventually, “What’s going on here..?”

Panic suddenly set inside of him, as he stared at Abe, “What do you mean..?”

Just as he was about to open his mouth again, a loud crack came from the schools’ speakers, as an impromptu announcement filled every room of the building, “Hello students!”

Everyone groaned at Scudworth’s voice, preparing to tune him out.

“As you all are aware, a lot of our students from 2003 got to miss out on their perfect prom due to.. Ah, well it doesn’t matter!”

Some sounds of rustling came over the speakers, before he continued.

“Therefore, we are holding another prom! It’s just around the corner, a month away!”

Cheers echoed throughout the cafeteria, as Topher instantly felt himself get shaken, “Hell yeah, prom!” JFK’s enthusiasm was only slightly infectious.

“All students can attend, new or old! See you there, there will be flyers on the walls eventually for the dates!”

The crinkling of static eventually cut out, and his whole table sprung into conversation.

“Oh my gosh, I totally forgot that we’d get to experience another prom.” Joan spoke out, smiling brightly at everyone.

Frida nodded, “It’ll be fun, free food and all that.”

Cleo, who was leaning against her, was smiling happily, “Hopefully this one is way better than our last one, right guys?”

The older clones chimed in agreement, and Topher just continued to stare in silence.

Prom wasn’t necessarily his thing, at least that’s what he thought. If he was pretending to date JFK, he’d have to go with him to it as well, and that wasn’t really a bad thing, but if he had the choice he’d go with Abe.

Unfortunately, Joan was talking a mile a minute with him, so it wasn’t as if that was a genuine possibility anyways.

“Wait, he said it was a month away right?” Harriet spoke up, everyone nodding towards her. She instantly froze, paling slightly at the information, “That’s hardly any time to figure out what we’re going to wear!”

At that, the rest of the table instantly stood up, leaving Topher confused as he stayed seated, along with a few others, “We need to plan!”

“Plan?” He heard himself asking.

“Yes, plan! You can never let things be last minute, what if there aren't any outfits left by the time you decide to go shopping?”

Topher frowned, “Prom isn’t really my thing-”

Frida grabbed him by the arm, smirking down at him alongside Cleo, “You don’t need to worry about that.”

He groaned, rolling his eyes, “I am genuinely tired of your wardrobes.”

The two girls laughed, as the rest of them started leaving.

Fine, he’ll go to prom. What’s the worst that could happen anyways? Rhetorical question, don’t answer that.

Chapter Text

Prom having been announced might of been the worst thing to have happened to him thus far, all things considered.

It was as if a switch was flicked on for everyone around him, and he genuinely could not stand how worked up they were all getting. There was a whole month to prepare for it, there was no need for all of.. this.

This being, Topher getting dragged around countless shops for the perfect outfit.

“You just don’t get it, Gopher. Prom is a coming-of-age sort of deal, what makes you a woman.”

He huffed as Cleo threw another shirt on top of the growing pile in his arms, “That’s great and all, but I’m curious; what does that have to do with me? I’m a man.”

“Unfortunately.”

Rolling his eyes, he grumbled as Frida came around with another pair of shoes.

They’d been out for hours, scratch that, days. Ever since Monday, the two had made it their mission to make sure he looked his absolute best. So, now it was Thursday, and there still wasn’t a piece of fabric they deemed good enough.

He’d been tempted enough to just say, ‘oh well, guess nothing will ever look good on me’ and call it a week, but he knew better than to make Frida angry with the self-deprecation.

“You know, if prom is a coming of age, you must be pretty old to be experiencing it twice.”

Frida thwacked him on the back of his head with a shoe, giving an unimpressed frown as Cleo whipped around to look at him.

“Excuse me? I’ll have you know the year under us are allowed to go to prom too!”

He smirked as she stomped over, the look being wiped off his face as soon as she pushed him over. Fumbling for a moment, the clothes slipped from his hands. Expecting to fall directly onto the ground, he prepared himself for the pain.

Thankfully a bench was behind him, and just as he was about to yell at her, he felt wind hitting his foot.

“What the hell.”

Frida scrunched up her nose, “Come on man, no socks?”

Topher shrugged, looking away, “I’m a busy guy.”

Cleo crouched down beside her girlfriend, analyzing the shoes before he felt one being placed on his feet.

“Great, a guy isn’t reserved the right of consent when it comes to his feet now?”

“Quiet incel, we’re busy.”

“Incel?!”

Cleo ripped the shoe off, smacking his knee with it, “Shut the hell up already! Anyway, these won’t do.” She dropped it in Frida’s waiting hand, and walked away to ask for a changing room.

With a groan, he stuffed his face into his hands, taking a moment to breathe. Before screaming into his palms. Why did shopping have to be so difficult? He could just throw on a button-up and call it a day.

“Hey man, I know this is a bit overwhelming, but we just want to make sure you look good for your first prom.”

He felt the hand of Frida resting on his shoulder, and bit back a sigh; “Yeah right, you guys take immense pleasure from my love life. You just want to make Abe drool over me, or better yet, make us both look like fools.”

Frida smirked at his response, sitting down beside him.

“Like you need any help doing that, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed how he’s been looking at you lately.”

Topher hated to admit it, a deep dark part of him wanting to continue the misery he expected for himself, but she was right.

He wouldn’t go so far as to say Abe liked him, but he noticed the staring. It was hard not to, when it was borderlining on stalking. Just thinking about it made him feel giddy, but it was very easy to diminish that feeling when he thought about just why he was acting this way.

“Speaking of, I don’t really want to.. look like Joan, for prom.”

Rolling his head to the side, he made it a point to look anywhere but at Frida, “I’d like to look as myself, for our prom. Does that make sense?”

“Hey,” Frida wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “I get it. You don’t want to rely all on Joan just to get Abe, he should also like you for you. I’m sorry if we’ve made it seem like the only way to get to him is otherwise.”

Topher smiled, a warm feeling settling in the pit of his stomach, “Thanks.”

“No problem. Besides, we only really needed the Joan appeal to get him to realize he could even like men, which I’m fairly confident he does.”

Immediately he deadpanned, “Right.”

“It’s true!” She started picking up the clothes that fell around them, setting them in his waiting hands, “You can’t exactly pretend to date a man without finding them at least a little attractive, right?”

Topher snorted, “Try telling that to all beards around the world.”

“Alright, enough being smart. Let’s try these on, yeah?”

By the time they had finished shopping, which the two girls still fussed over having not found the perfect outfit for themselves, Topher was relatively pleased with what they had finally decided for himself.

It wasn’t necessarily fancy by any means, but it felt more like himself than the clothes he had been wearing for days now.

Though, he did have to admit that some of the clothing he’d been dressed in was sort of fun. Joan wasn’t exactly his favorite person, but the aesthetic she was going for left him with learning some new things about himself.

Having always grown up feeling like an outcast, he never particularly put himself out there in terms of clothing. The most he’d ever been willing to do was wear pink, which in itself was a big step for him.

He couldn’t exactly say that he’s happy with the events of his life right now, but he’s content in how his friendships have been playing out.

Frida was never close with him, back then.

Now it’s hard to imagine a time where she wasn’t, and for that he was oddly.. grateful. Despite the circumstances, she had become a dear friend to him, as embarrassing as that was to admit to himself.

Cleo.. well, they were friendish, right? He appreciated her as well, she was ultimately funnier to him than Frida, and never held back her opinions. He enjoyed brutal honesty, bluntness.

He wasn’t exactly sure whether she liked him as well, though. Mostly he feels like she’s only in it for Frida, and a chance to humiliate Abe. She had every right to do so, though, so he can’t exactly complain.

That was all beside the point, however.

He had friends, he was growing into understanding himself better by the day, and he was currently trying to get a partner. The life he was living now is drastically different than it was a year ago, or the entirety of it up until now.

Still though, do crushes usually require this amount of work? But, it wasn’t like Abe was into men beforehand. Or, well, knew he was? Honestly it was still up in the air, Topher knew he had to be at least interested in guys who dressed like Joan.

Which speaking of is so ridiculous. It had sounded pretty legitimate at the beginning of this plan, but the longer it went on the more it sounded delusional.

Then again, that’s exactly what Topher is, so.. case and point, actually!

Basically, the shoes were killing him and the eyeshadow was a pain to do in the morning. He just wants Abe to like him for himself, which is exactly what they’ll be putting to the test tomorrow.

Frida had told Cleo his worries, and despite her scoffing at his ‘complaining’, she had agreed that it was a necessary plan.

What would be the point of getting together if Abe didn’t actually want Topher, right? So, he wasn’t going to be dressing like Joan tomorrow, but something more akin to his own style. Not necessarily his old clothes, though, as this adventure did at least teach him a little more on how to dress.

Just as he was about to flop into his bed and go to sleep, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

Grumbling, he fished the object out, squinting as the brightness hit his eyes in the dark of his room. After putting in his password, he came face to face with a text message that made his blood run cold.

“Do you have time to talk tomorrow?”

It had come from Joan, of all people. Surely that wasn’t a good sign, was she onto his scheme? There’s no way she could be, though if he thinks about it, Abe did seem a bit suspicious earlier that week. Maybe the two had talked about it? Who was he kidding, of course the two were talking about him and JFK.

”depends on what you want to talk about.”

He could feel himself shaking, the tremors going through his entire body. In fact, he could see them too, his hand not doing much to at least let him pretend he wasn’t.

”Look, I know you don’t like me,”

”big shock there.”

”And I don’t really like you either,”

”wait what?”

”But it’s really important, so meet me sometime during school. Whenever we see each other.

Topher frowned at the messages, pulling his hair slightly. He really shouldn’t, but Joan always did manage to get him to act in a way that wasn’t exactly.. logical. Her mere presence caused a lot of impulsive decisions to rise up within him.

”fine.”

”Cool, thanks. See you then.”

Safe to say, he hardly got any sleep that night.

It wasn’t as if he was scared, per se, but he wasn’t really equipped to deal with Joan by herself. Especially if she were to figure out how he felt about Abe, and went on to tell him. That would have to be the absolute worst.

Getting ready that morning gave him more anxiety than he was expecting, she just had to ruin his day for him, didn’t she? Here he was thinking he’d be on an important mission for Friday, and Joan was undoubtedly butting her nose in business that didn’t concern her whatsoever.

Okay well, that’s not true, it concerns her somewhat, but still!

Looking at himself in the mirror, he grimaced at his appearance. It was clear he didn’t rest enough, but what could be done with that? Nothing, so he just grumbled to himself as he put his hair into a half-up-half-down ponytail.

If there was one thing he wasn’t going to be dealing with today by choice, it was hair in his face.

With a honk outside, Topher hopped down the stairs and out the door. JFK had been making it a habit to pick him up in the mornings, to make their relationship seem more realistic. It was much easier than walking, or using the bus, at least.

“Hey-a, darling.”

“Gross.”

“Yea, whatever.”

The two rode in silence as Topher looked out the window. He was contemplating on telling JFK about the conversation he had with Joan last night, but ultimately decided against it.

It would be more suspicious if he were to get his ‘boyfriend’ in on the confrontation, wouldn’t it? At least, that’s what he was under the impression of.

“See you aint as, uh- dolled up as you have been lately.”

Topher glanced over at him, before shrugging, “Right, well I figured if Abe were to fall for me it should be for me, right?”

JFK snorted, causing Topher to frown.

“What was that about?”

“Ah, nothin’.”

Leaning forward towards him, he cocked his head to the side, “No, come on. You felt the need to react that way, go ahead and tell me what’s so funny.”

“Just that- uh, you’re more like Joan than I thought you’d be.”

The silence that passed over them spoke enough volumes than he was about to, but he still felt the need to try, “What?!”

JFK flinched sharply at the screech, swerving the car slightly, “Jesus, calm down!”

“What the hell does that mean? I’m like Joan? No way!”

“Uh, yes way!”

“You’re insane!”

“Definitely not as much as you are!”

Topher crossed his arms, violently throwing himself back against his seat. What the hell was he on about, there was no way he was similar to her. Was copying her messing with JFK’s head or something?

“It’s not an insult you know, I happen to like Joanie.”

“Psh, yeah, you do!”

JFK rolled his eyes very pointedly towards him, which only soured Topher’s mood further.

“Look! I’m just sayin’ she did this exact same thing you’re doin’ now.” JFK’s car started to slow down once the school came into sight, and Topher felt a small pang of relief hit him.

“She tried to act like Cleo, failed, and ended up catching the attention of Abe anyways. I er- uh, just think it’s funny, that’s all. Abe really isn’t worth this much.. attention.”

Topher just scowled, glaring up at him, “He is to me.”

“That much is obvious. Look, Joan isn’t that bad.”

The car came to a stop as he parked in the student lot, turning off the car so he could focus more onto Topher.

“Maybe not to you, but she’s not exactly nice to me, she even said she didn’t like me last night.”

“Are you even nice to her? Wait, what was that about last night?”

Topher’s eyes widened, “Uh, nothing, bye!” he quickly opened the car door, speeding off inside the school. There wasn’t much of a reason to arrive together together these days, the students had become relatively used to the ‘relationship’ after the second day.

Finding his locker was almost like a light of heaven shining down on him, and he quickly opened it, only for it to be slammed back closed.

“Uh, what the hell?”

Looking up, he found Joan staring back down towards him.

“Hey, Topher.”

“Joan.”

“I see you’re free to talk.”

Topher glanced around, noticing the lack of Abe, and smirked back up, “I notice you are too.”

Her eye twitched slightly, before she sighed and grabbed his arm, “Just, come with me.”

The grip was way tighter than it needed to be, and he struggled against it as she dragged him around to god knows where, “Is this necessary?”

She only spared him a glance, before throwing him into a supply closet, “Clearly.”

Closing the door behind them, they stood in awkward silence. Well, awkward and honestly kind of intimidating.

“Um, so..”

“I know.”

“Wh- huh?”

Joan glared down at him, backing him against the wall as she put her hands on it, “I know what you’re doing.”

Uh oh.

Chapter Text

Finding himself trapped in a supply closet with Joan of Arc was not exactly how he imagined his Friday to go, or any day of his school life honestly.

She was staring down at him with nothing but hatred, but he knew better than to say anything damning while in this position. Even if she knew, he didn’t have to go confessing his inner feelings to her.

“I’m sure that I have no idea what you mean.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Bus!”

Joan slapped the wall next to his head, before leaning down while squinting at him, “I know exactly what’s going on now, it makes so much sense.”

Topher frowned, raising an eyebrow, “Does it..?”

“Obviously! You’re using JFK,”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that-”

“to get more popular!”

Record scratch, freeze frame, slow motion backwards — you know the drill. What?

“.. What?!”

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Joan smirked, leaning slightly back as she took out her phone, “Mad that I figured it out? It all makes sense now, you’ve been leeching off of Frida, and Cleo..” Topher glanced at the hand that was no longer trapping him, before glancing back up at her.

“Well, the Cleo I knew would never hang out with someone like you. You tried using Abe, and that didn’t work.”

Topher scoffed, “Oh yeah, surely.”

“So you decided to go after JFK! That beautiful idiot, he was dumb enough to fall for it too. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice your clothings.. inspiration?” Joan rolled her eyes at the last statement, before scrolling through her device.

“You dress like me, you catch his attention, then what? You just want to be popular?”

“You’re being really full of yourself right now.” He grimaced, dragging out his sentence.

“Whatever! Just wait until I tell JFK about this, or better yet Frida!”

He watched her start typing, before her phone lit up. She was calling someone.. which of the two she mentioned he has no idea, but he could only stand there while watching with bated breath. Sure, both of them knew that wasn’t exactly the case, but still; Joan was kind of intimidating.

Once the call finally picked up, Joan cheered, “Hey! It’s me.”

“Joan? Hey!”

Dread instantly filled the pit of his stomach. That wasn’t Frida, or JFK- or even Cleo; that was Abe.

The look she was pointing towards him said all that he needed to know, “Can you meet me by the supply closet next to room 240?”

Rustling was heard from the other end, before Abe started whispering back, “Sure, but classes are going to be starting pretty soon.” Topher watched as she rolled her eyes, looking endeared by his antics.

“Just get over here!”

“Yep, on it!”

He hung up, leaving the contact displayed on the screen. Topher could only stare at it, before looking back up at Joan.

It wasn’t really that he was all that afraid of Abe showing up, he knows that Topher didn’t only date him to use him for.. that. If anything, Abe was the one who used Topher! Semantics, though, as it was fake to begin with, and they both knew that.

So, whatever Joan tells him shouldn’t weigh down on him much.

Still, he wasn’t exactly pleased to have to see him in this honestly embarrassing situation. This really wasn’t how he imagined his Friday going at all.

“I hope you remember what’s about to happen next time you try to play with someone's feelings.”

Topher twitched, glaring up at her, “You mean like what you’re doing?”

Joan blinked, backing up slightly, “Huh?”

“Everyone knew you were into Abe while you were with JFK, now you’re with Abe and.. well, I guess the cycle repeats, doesn’t it?”

“I see the way you still look at him, you want the best of both worlds. You had a taste of one, you’ve got the taste of the other, now you can’t decide? Please, you’re ridiculous to try and scold me for something I’m not even doing.”

Instantly, he could tell she was nervous. She was making a point to not look directly at him, “That’s not.. true.”

“Yes, it is, because you’re selfish Joan.” He smirked up at her, his turn to lean forward into her space now, “You’re selfish like me, we’re so similar, now I know what JFK was trying to say this morning.”

“He.. he mentioned me?”

“See? Even now you’re proving my point, but it’s okay.”

Topher noticed she was walking backward, ever so slightly, and decided; hey, why not, she shoved him against a wall — and started walking towards her.

“You want JFK, don’t you? Deep down, you know Abe isn’t the one for you. He doesn’t deserve you, does he? Then again, does JFK?” He audibly heard Joan’s back hit the door, “One gave you all the attention you needed, maybe even too much, and the other is just some dumb guy who doesn’t understand relationships.”

“Hah! Is that why it didn’t work out between you two?”

Topher’s smile twitched slightly, “Do you really want to know why we broke up”

“I’m sure it’s because you’re a horrible person, just like everyone says you are.”

He shrugged, making a so-so motion with his hands, “Eh, that could’ve been it, if it was real.”

Joan paused, lifting an eyebrow, looking more confused than ever before; “Wh-.. huh? What?”

“Oh, yeah, us dating wasn’t real, so much of a friend you are right?” He honestly took great satisfaction from the reaction she was giving him, how would she feel if Abe did all of this for her? Would she run to him and give her thanks? Would she be weirded out? Either way, he won that portion of the argument.

“You’re lying, you’re just trying to get me to not tell Abe what you’ve done!”

“Oh please, you can tell him, he’ll just laugh in your face though.”

Joan looked down, seemingly at a loss for words, “That.. but that doesn’t make sense..”

“What? Just because we kissed once or twice? It’s called acting.”

She shook her head, staring at her hands, “No, it’s.. but the way he looks at-”

Suddenly, he felt the world shifting as a bright light hit him, nearly blinding him. The next thing he felt was his knee hitting the ground, which okay, this day definitely sucks.

“Joan? What- Topher?!”

Rubbing his eyes, he opened them and noticed he had fallen directly on top of Joan, he apparently fell the moment Abe had opened the door to the closet. This didn’t look exactly great, the position they were in.

“Abe! It’s not- sorry, I grabbed him while I was falling!” Joan tried to explain, pushing Topher off of her in order to stand.

“Why were you in there with him to begin with?”

Topher continued to sit on the ground, looking between the two of them.

“Because he-..!” She turned back towards him, staring down at him for what felt like an eternity, “He.. I’m sorry, I think that I actually need to head home for the day.”

All the anger flitted away from Abe’s face, “Woah, hey, are you okay?”

Joan just nodded, “I’ll text you, you learned how to use your new phone right?”

“Yeah.. I did, yes.”

“Cool.”

She gave him a small smile, before walking away from the two of them. Abe watched her go, his focus entirely on her until she was safely out of sight. Then, he whipped back towards Topher, the anger slowly coming back.

“What the hell, Topher?!”

Topher sighed, standing up as he dusted himself off, “It’s definitely not what you’re thinking, Lincoln.”

“Really? Because it looks like my girlfriend was being held up in a closet by you!”

Humming, he shrugged, “Alright, it was sort of like that.”

Abe whined, throwing his hands in the air, “Why would you do this to me, man!”

“Oh, get a hold of yourself, I wasn't trying to seduce your girlfriend.” To emphasize his point, he scoffed.

“Then what were you doing?!”

Topher gave another shrug, “I don’t know, talking about you.”

That seemed to shut him up enough, though unfortunately not forever, “Me..?”

“Yeah, she-”

“Why would she be talking about me to you, haha..” Abe looked around nervously, causing Topher to also look around, was something around?

“If you’d let me finish, she-”

“There’s nothing to even mention when it comes to me and you! She’s so funny, sometimes!”

Alright, this was weird. He wasn’t exactly sure on how to broach this situation, he’s never really seen Abe act this way before, and he wasn’t really a ‘people person’.

“Are you.. okay?”

“Yep! Never better, bye!”

With that, he watched Abe practically run with a tail between his legs. That certainly wasn’t.. normal, right? Something was definitely up, had the two of them already talked about him and JFK? Sure, not in the way Joan was talking, but there definitely was at least something said, why else would he react that way?

The bell had started to ring, and he accepted his fate of being late anyway, so he decided to take his time walking to his class.

The more he reflected back on it, the more confusing it got. What Joan had said didn’t help him much in figuring it all out either, she was entirely paranoid. While it was true he was using JFK, he supposed, it’s not like it was one-sided. JFK was using him just as much, if not more, for Joan of all people.

So really, he should be given a free pass on this. If anything she should feel grateful he’s currently even with JFK.

Wait, what was she going to say before Abe had opened that door?

“Ah, Topher Bus, my favorite little weirdo!”

He winced, instantly recognizing the voice of his principal, he took in a deep breath, before turning around, “Principal Scudworth.”

“Have you become a trouble maker, little one? Walking around the halls during lesson time, naughty naughty!”

Topher grimaced, “Not at all, I’m making my way there right now actually-”

“Nonsense!” Scudworth took his arm into his, linking the two together as he walked him the completely opposite way of his classroom, “Come with me to my office!”

“Great, am I in trouble?”

“No, no, not at all!”

His grimace deepened, “I’m not in the mood to humiliate myself again, so if you think I’m going to start swinging a knife around-”

“Goodness, no!” Scudworth exclaimed, before shoving him through a door. What was with everyone pushing him into places today?

Topher rolled his eyes, watching as his principal went to go sit at his desk. He glanced around, taking immediate notice of the glass ceiling, where lizards were crawling around. The sounds of tiny claws skittering about made him shiver.

Turning his attention back, he was ushered to sit down in the chair in front of the desk.

“Prom is coming up very soon, isn’t it!”

“Certainly, I’ve had to deal with hearing about it all week.”

Scudworth hummed, nodding in response. Then he opened up a drawer, scavenging around it before pulling out a stack of papers, “Listen, young man, prom is very very stressful to set up!” He slammed the stack onto the desk, before pushing them towards him.

“I already spent my good time on the older clones,” Topher watched as he sneered slightly, “and I do not wish to spend more of that on this new one!” Scudworth spun in his chair, quickly standing up, “So, as I know every other student has a life,”

“Wait, what-”

“and you do not, I am selecting you to be on the prom committee!”

Topher frowned, leaning forward slightly to look at the papers in front of him. Most of it was a shopping list, other parts were crude doodles on the margins. It looked like something a child would put together.

“You want me to do this?”

Scudworth nodded, almost too excitedly for him.

“You do know that I know next to nothing about what.. other teenagers like, right?”

The principal scoffed, waving his hand, “I gave you a list on there! I just need you to get it, set it up, and maybe do a few extra stuff!”

Raising a brow, he flipped through the stack, “Right.. why does it have to be me?”

“Consider it your detention for not being in class! Now, there’s no point in declining because it is actually not a choice!” Scudworth walked towards him, pushing the stack closer to Topher, before walking him towards the door.

“So you’re refusing a right of conse-”

“Blah blah, can’t hear you!”

The door slammed behind him, leaving him in the empty hallway.

With a heavy sigh, he went back to flipping through it all; a disco ball, a dj, a- what, a horse? Okay, this is just ridiculous, what even is the theme? Where would he even find a horse around here, he is not doing that.

If he’s going to be forced into doing this ridiculous thing, he’s not going to do anything that will make him ridiculed for it.

Wait, does this mean he’s the only one planning prom? Isn’t it next month.. how is he going to do this all alone? What even is the budget for it, do they have one or is it coming out of his own pockets?

He groaned, turning back around at the door, knocking on it aggressively. No answer.

Great.

Chapter Text

Planning a prom was more difficult than he had imagined, and he’d already imagined greatly how frustrating the entire experience would be after having it shoved into his hands.

Topher wasn’t broke by any means, he had more than enough to cover the costs of everything if he brought his mother into it, but was that something he was willing to do? The idea of paying out of pocket in addition to his parents’ pocket is just a bit grating, did Principal Scudworth come up with this on the fly?

That wouldn’t surprise him at all, everyone has known for a long time now how impulsive the man was.

What was ridiculous about it was that despite the impulsivity, he hadn’t had half the mind to find someone else to do this sooner, or at least one other person than just Topher.

Prom was a suffocating idea the longer this ordeal went on, but what more could be done? He couldn’t exactly just not show up, right? Well, he could try that, but he was certain that if he did he’d be dragged right out of his own home. Cleo would be pretty upset over having spent days on his outfit only for him to not come.

Speaking of, she seemed relatively excited over it all, maybe he should get her on board for the quote-unquote committee. Cleo would make sure everything went perfectly, she also most definitely had better tastes than him when it came to this sort of thing.

It was the most logical choice then, to at least try to ask her. Though, just as he pulled his cellphone out, he paused. There was a sinking feeling in his gut, as he stared at her contact.

If he were to ask for her help, she’d be more focused on that than the prom itself. That was how the movies always portrayed it, right? Making sure everything went according to plan, while ignoring their own enjoyment of the event itself. Could he really do that to her? The answer was, unfortunately, no.

Which still left him with nobody but himself, who else did he know that would be willing to even attempt to pull this whole thing off?

That was the million dollar question, really. Who would want to work with Topher on anything, nobody particularly enjoys his company. Those who tolerate it are ones he shouldn’t bother asking, if Abe’s behavior was anything to go by.

Now that was interesting to him, it’s been swimming in his mind since he’d gotten home. He’s never seen Abe act that way before, at least not in this context. His friend was anxious by nature, but never really around Topher of all people, at least not directed towards him. Random outbursts of nervousness weren't uncommon, but this had felt different.

Not like he had the time to fully dissect that, however. Problems for later dates and whatnot, he would definitely be asking Frida later. Point is, Abe was out of the question when it came to help, and in relation obviously Joan. Frida was also out, he wouldn’t want to ruin her experience with the event either.

There weren’t many people to ask aside from that, but.. he supposes there was Harriet. She seemed to be into this sort of scene, if the school play was anything to go off of.

She also seemed far too invested in the current situation of everyone’s relationships, more specifically his. The questions he’d receive on a daily basis at their lunch table was enough to even make him rethink his story.

Frowning down at his phone, he scrolled social media to find her account. He knew for a fact he didn’t have her number, and it wasn’t worth checking to begin with. She had to be following Frida at the very least, they’ve been friends for years, and there she was after a few good flicks of the thumb.

Clicking on her profile, he went to her messages, huffing a laugh at how they’re open for everyone. Not all that smart, to do on the internet these days. Then again, she didn’t seem like the type to start arguments online so maybe she was free from harassment.

Humming, he started typing out a message, hitting send before he could think otherwise.

”hey, its topher. call or msg me when you got the time.”

Alongside the message was his number, which he had hoped would be used.

He spent the better half of an hour re-reading his message, agonizing over how it hadn't even been read yet. What teenager wasn’t on their phone every second of the minute these days? He should’ve given more context in it, why did he give practically nothing in the message?

If she wasn’t going to respond to him, who else could he try? Grimacing, he realized he could always try Confucius.

To be frank, the other boy irritated him to no end. He was unbearably loud, and always live streaming, which no one even watched those.. except himself. Those were hate watches though, he couldn’t be faulted for that!

Unfortunately it seemed like he was his only chance left of any help at all, given the fact he doesn’t care if his prom goes well at all. This time, he knows he has the other’s number, so there was no reason to have to wait for a response. At least, not one through text.

Hitting the call button on his contact, he watched his own phone buzz while waiting for an answer.

“Y’ello?”

“Confucius.”

He heard rustling on the other end, before his screen flashed with the boy's face, “Topher? Is that you? Hey man, what’s up! Turn the cam on!”

“I won’t be doing that.”

“Boo..”

Topher rolled his eyes, though he knew the other couldn’t see, “I have a favor to ask, it is very important, and your girlfriend didn’t answer me.”

Confucius frowned, looked off screen at something, before looking back towards him with a small smile, “Harriet? Yeah, she’s here with me lil’ dude.”

Heaving a sigh, he gave a strained smile at the information, “Oh, that’s just great. Well, how do you two feel about prom?”

Watching the other pause, he leaned back as the screen was flipped towards the ceiling. There was some hushed whispering, and the occasional snicker or two, and it took everything within him to not scream. He wasn’t a very patient person.

The screen flipped back up, showing both Harriet and Confucius, “Uh, pfft, sorry man but we aren’t interested.”

Raising a brow, he sat up straight again, “Not interested? But I haven’t even-”

“Yeah, like, we were planning on going together, just the two of us.” Harriet spoke up.

Topher felt his blood run cold, which was ironic considering the heat he felt coming to his face. The panic of it all made him accidentally turn his camera on, at which he squawked at, holding it too close to his face which only showed his anxious eyes.

“No, no! Stop that right now, I did not mean it that way!”

The other two had jumped at the exclamation, looking nervously at each other.

“Knock it off, don’t look at each other like that! I like someone else!”

Harriet smirked, “Oh, yes, that’s right. You are dating JFK after all, huh?”

Topher sighed, leaning back as he stared at the two of them. He pointedly ignored his own camera that was now on, and shrugged, “Obviously. Anyway, what I had meant was I recently have been put on the prom committee.” Harriet gave an excited gasp, which he promptly ignored, “Of which it is only just me on it, and I would appreciate some help.”

Shoving Confucius out of the way, Harriet hurriedly grabbed the phone, “I would love to help!”

A relieved smile etched across his face, feeling a weight lifted off of his shoulders, “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

Muffled words were spoken off screen, and Harriet grinned sheepishly towards the floor, “Confucius says he’ll help too, sorry babe.” She set the phone down to help him up, and Topher went over the papers he was given earlier at school. It was still ridiculous nonsense, and he had half the mind to just burn the entirety of it and start over.

“Principal Scudworth gave me an entire stack of ideas, and a supply list, but I have to say it is the worst thing I’ve ever read.” He lifted the notes towards the screen, Harriet grimacing at the size.

“We’ll come over and help tomorrow, I can’t believe there wasn’t a committee already!”

“Our principal is known for everything but his intelligence.”

He smirked at the laughs his comment received.

“Is there a reason you decided to ask us though? What about Frida?” Confucius spoke up, coming back into the frame of the screen, “You’re with her like, all the time now.” Topher rolled his eyes, propping his phone up against his pillow as he flipped back through the notes of the papers once more, “I didn’t want to make her focus on it more than she would on prom itself. I’d like her to have a good time.”

Harriet squealed, “Awe, that’s so cute!” she held her hands together, smiling sweetly, before frowning, “I.. think I’m going to ignore the implication of what that means about us.”

Smirking at the screen, he looked as smug as he could at the two of them, “I’ve no idea what you mean.”

The three of them exchanged a few more words, his address, and eventually ended the phone call. Well, that went relatively well, he had managed to get not only one person, but two to help him plan this ridiculous get-together.

Two people who, all things considered, knew enough about their peers to make sure it wouldn’t go horrible. He was sure any blame would fall back on him entirely, and he wasn’t really looking forward to the wrath of his idiotic principal.

Essentially, he had this in the bag.

.. Turns out he absolutely did not.

The very next day, the two lovebirds had come over, and almost immediately began arguing over what theme the dance should be, as if anyone ever genuinely cared over that sort of thing.

“It has to be underwater themed, just imagine the cute blue colors!”

Harriet had stuck to her idea from the get-go, pushing for it to the point of aggression. Underwater was an interesting idea, but it was overused, what high school hasn’t done it before already? He wasn’t particularly interested in that one to begin with.

“But-, ah! Babe!” Confucius winced, having been pinned to the ground on his stomach, his leg being pulled almost over his head. Like he said, to the point of aggression, “Wouldn’t a space theme be way cooler? We could have stars everywhere, who doesn’t love stars!”

Space was another interesting theme, but Topher wasn’t entirely sold on it either. Both options had seemed bland, lacking any flavor.

“I’ll show you stars!” Harriet stood back up, about to body slam him once again before Topher cleared his throat, “Do not fight in my house.”

“Oh yeah? Well what’s your idea then?” She huffed, sitting down on her boyfriend's back, he just groaned once more, lifting his head up to look at him.

He shrugged, crossing off another idea on the page in his notebook, “I don’t have one.”

The both of them sighed, Harriet falling backwards to lay on the ground, “Then choose one of ours!”

“Oh, oh! What about a winter theme?”

Topher frowned, raising a brow at him, “Would that be sensible to do? This is technically for the previously frozen clones, more than it is for us.”

Confucius whined, bringing his hands up to his face, burying himself in the floor of his room, “Well if it’s not one of ours, then I have no idea.”

“Well, I liked the idea of having stars,” a victorious yes! was heard before he could finish, “but, I also think an aquatic theme would be fun I guess.” nooo’s and yes, see?! were said immediately after.

Harriet sat back up, leaning over towards him, “So which one?!”

Topher hummed, looking back down at his notes, “Why not both?”

They groaned in unison, “No!”

Flipping a page back, he frowned down at the list of items they’d need, “Well, figure it out. We need to know so we can make sure we have everything ready, we don’t have much time..”

Sitting in silence as they all mulled over their choices, Confucius suddenly sat up, knocking Harriet off of him completely. With an annoyed shout, she was about to yell at him before he started excitedly exclaiming; “What about an under the stars theme!”

Topher, taken aback by the outburst, took a moment to process the words.

‘Huh,” he leaned back, a hand to his chin, “that doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Awe, what?! How come he gets his stars, what about me?”

He stuck his tongue out playfully at his girlfriend, “Under the sea is so overrated, Har.”

As the two bickered, which soon turned into rough housing once more, Topher had ideas swimming in his head as he stared down at the paper. Soon, he began writing down without thinking much of it, to the point where he’d forgotten his surroundings. The noise around him had quieted, and he almost jumped out of his own skin when Confucius’ face popped up in front of his notebook.

“What’cha writing?”

Letting out a hum, he held his notes towards him, “What if we just do a shipwrecked theme? Under the stars.”

The two of them read over what was written, their expressions changing with every line. It honestly made him self conscious, he hadn’t thought it was that bad of an idea.

“I was just trying to incorporate a bit of both, but if you guys don’t like it-” He began, reaching for his notes, before Harriet pulled it away quickly.

“No! This is great, we appreciate you trying to appease both of us.”

Feeling an odd warmth settle inside of him, he looked away, “Whatever, so do we do it?”

The couple nodded enthusiastically, “Of course! A ship wreckage at night? Talk about romantic, it’s almost like that one movie!” Harriet sighed lovingly, as Confucius just smiled fondly towards her.

“Right.. you know what, mentioning that, maybe it’s a bad idea. Wasn’t it freezing during that movie? I don’t want to seem insensitive..”

Confucius scoffed, waving his hand, “You have got to chill out, man! Nobody actually pays attention to that sort of thing, besides I don’t think they actually care about having been frozen anymore, I mean Abe talks to Harriet all the time and he-” the wind was knocked out of him as Harriet elbowed him extremely harshly, causing him to wheeze and bend over.

“Uh..” Topher just stared at her, glancing down at the man who was struggling to catch his breath.

She just smiled, “Don’t mind him, he loves to just go on and on about nothing!”

“I think you just broke my rib..” A strangled voice called from below them, but her smile hadn’t faltered.

“Right.. why is everyone acting weird about Abe today?” He muttered, mostly to himself, but of course the two of them heard it, as Confucius just snickered to himself, the pain still oozing in his voice.

That earned him another hit, which honestly sounded worse than the first. He did his best to ignore the domestic violence currently happening in his bedroom, for peace of mind mostly. What was Abe’s problem recently? Since when did he talk to Harriet of all people, and since when did Confucius sit in on those conversations enough to know why?

Good for him, that he doesn’t care about having been frozen or whatever, but why would he vent about that sort of thing to someone other than him, or Joan? At the very least, the two of them are his friends and not a total stranger.

Whatever, it’s not like he cared. Because he didn’t obviously, Abe can talk to and confide in whoever he wants, it’s not like the two of them have been that close lately anyways.

That thought made him pause, a sinking feeling hit his gut. It was only something he caught himself thinking in fleeting moments in the middle of the night, something he fought to ignore and struggled to think of something else, but it was true wasn’t it? They weren’t close, at least not anymore.

Ever since they pretended to date, which eventually ended, they haven’t necessarily hung out one-on-one since, nor has Abe even come to his house. When was the last time they spoke to each other without it being about their ‘partners’, or been in the same vicinity without the two at all?

Were they not friends anymore? That’s what it felt like, was he doing all of this for someone who genuinely didn’t even like him as a friend?

He felt his eyes begin to sting, and shook his head. His throat felt tight, but he wasn’t going to cry in front of Confucius or Harriet of all people.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Quickly, he looked back up at the two of them, before clearing his throat, “Yes, everything is fine. If we have the theme figured out, let’s get ready to go out shopping for supplies.” He stood, grabbing a bag he had left beside his bed for this very occasion, and walking towards his bedroom door.

The two gave each other a look, brows furrowed in worry, before trailing after him.