Chapter Text
Keith's p.o.v.
Blade representatives have come to the castle to discuss plans with Allura and Shiro. It has been nice having them around. It’s comforting having other Galra on board, for some reason. It makes me feel less alone and...safer.
It's been rough for a while now. I have these negative thoughts that seem to constantly plague me. As well as, chronic night terrors. I was coping better for a while. But, recently, it's been more than I can bear. In the beginning, when being a paladin was all new, we spent more time together. It made me feel less alone. But, now, I feel like the other three like to spend their time together; without me. Shiro still treats me kindly. But, I feel like I never see him. He is always so busy. I never really get affection from him. I've always been the loner. But, now more than ever do I feel alone.
Not only do I feel alone, I feel irritable. I feel like I'm losing control. It's like I'm constantly restless. I haven't been coping well or healthily. I haven't been eating, which adds to my irritability. I don't want to. I have no desire to nourish my body. I train nonstop. The exertion helps take my mind off of everything. Also, occasionally, by other means...
We are meeting in the control room to discuss our plans going forward and how the Blade fits into those plans. I was the last to arrive because I was last to learn of this meeting. I guess the team talked about it in the common room when I wasn't aware they were spending time together. They didn't realize I wouldn't have known about it. It wasn't until Allura called over coms for me to come to the control room, that I actually learned of the meeting. I ran as fast as I could to get here. When I do arrive, Allura gives me an irritated glance.
"Thank you for finally joining." She says coldly.
She knows full well no one told me. She just doesn't like me much anymore. She hasn't since she learned I was part Galra; mad at me again for something I didn't know about. I just look at the floor. I've never been good at handling people being harsh with me. I just have the urge to cower and hide or lash out at them. Back in foster care, my foster parents would yell at me. I would whine and cower, sometimes run and hide in different small places. It only made them angrier. I spent a lot of my youth being punished for my weird behavior or having people at the orphanage try and train me to not make the stupid noises. They said the only way anyone would want to adopt me is if I learn to control them. They had me work with many speech therapists. I have it pretty on lock. I can handle the yelling and confrontation without fleeing. I very occasionally feel really happy or excited. So, the happy noises I make aren't a problem. The few times the noises have slipped, the team has just given me confused looks, sometimes judgmental ones. It can be hard suppressing something that feels so inherent.
They go over different ideas and strategies. A bunch of stuff I have no say over. We are planning on attacking a base the Galra set up on a planet they dominated. It's a big mission, so the Blade will be assisting us on the ground. After an hour or so, all the plans are set. We are moving out first thing in the morning.
I go to leave, but I am stopped by Kolivan. I'm surprised and a little bit fearful. He is very intimidating, being he is triple my size.
"There is no need to worry, little one." He says in his deep, rumbling voice.
I'm unsure how he knows I'm unsettled. I must look worried. Although, I was trying to have a neutral expression.
"Is there anything I can do to assist you?" I ask, still unsure why he stopped me.
"No. I was going to ask you what is wrong. Your scent is off."
"My...scent?"
"You're Galra. You emit different scents to communicate certain emotions. You are distressed. You are also injured. Why?"
Oh, god. He could sense all of that? What am I supposed to say? ‘I'm severely depressed and hurt myself.’ He would probably despise me and refuse to work with me. Everyone would know I am weak.
"I'm fine, it's nothing to worry about. But, I appreciate your concern." I smile and try to sound convincing.
"Why are you scared? What is concerning you? Perhaps I can help." He insists.
I really hate this scent thing.
"N-no, no, I'm fine. Really. I'll, uh, see you in the morning." I walk out of the room quickly and head to go train.
Kolivan's p.o.v.
Keith turns and rushes out of the room. I almost grab him. But, it's really not my place. Although, I am quite concerned. He seemed distressed throughout the meeting. But, the moment I asked him about it, the distress turned into terror. What happened that could scare him so much? It was more than simple worry. Also, I could sense that he was injured. What happened to him? Why wasn’t his team helping him?
I've always been fond of him. Something about him made me protective over him. It may just be because he is very small. I worry about his size. Even for a human he is small. I worry he will get overpowered.
I leave and head to the room the princess provided for us. It is far inferior to our nest back on base, but it's what we have. I find Antok, Ulaz, and Thace already there.
"I'm worried about the boy." I tell them.
"Yes. We were just discussing that same thing. We could sense his upset." Ulaz informs me.
"I spoke to him. I asked him the cause of his distress and injury. At the question, he immediately scented that he was terrified. I tried to reason with him. But, he just quickly exited the room."
"That is troubling. Although, it is not our place to pry. He has his own pack to help him." Ulaz reasons with me.
"Yes, you are right." I agree halfheartedly.
I do agree. I just can't understand how his team could be so inattentive and seemingly unaware. Although, there may be a way humans silently interact.
...
Keith's p.o.v.
I wake the next morning to the princess' voice over the intercoms. She tells us to get into our armor, it's time to go. I change and rush to meet everyone. Once I reach the control room, I see I am the first one from my team to arrive. The blade is already here. I stand across from them and keep my eyes on the ground.
The rest of the team come and stand beside me. Lance, Pidge, and Hunk are smiling and laughing about something. I smile at them but they don't seem to notice me. I go back to my flat expression. I wish I could do that; talk and laugh. I just want to connect. But, I just can't seem to.
"Are you guys prepared? This is an important mission. We can’t afford to make any mistakes." Shiro asks the team.
He lays a hand on one of my shoulders. The affection makes me grin. I nod my head at him.
"As long as mullet doesn't do something stupid and rash, AGAIN, we'll be fine." Lance laughs and jabs me in the side.
My smile drops. I groan, grab my side, and push him away. I hear one of the Blade Generals let out a low growl. We all look to them inquisitively. They say nothing and everyone resumes their conversations.
Allura enters and gives a speech about honor and teamwork and what not. We head out in our lions. The blade follows behind in ships of their own.
Once we touch down, we go on foot to sneak up and attempt to infiltrate the base. Unfortunately, we are spotted by Scouting Soldiers. We're going to have to take the base by storm. We approach the base entrance, to be met with over a hundred Galra soldiers and sentries. We are fortunate to have so many from the blade with us, or else we would be severely out numbered. My job is to push forward and not stop, while remaining as under the radar as possible. The others will try to keep my path clear. Once inside, I can look for any prisoners.
I slash anyone in my way. But, before I get too far, I notice a Blade member that isn't looking too good. They have multiple enemies attacking them and they look pretty battered. I can't just leave them. I know I'll get yelled at for this, but I couldn't live with myself if I don't do something to help. I rush to where they are and kill the Galra that is about to strike them while they are down. I quickly drop the two other bots that were also attacking them and rush off. I see another member of the blade assist the one I helped to retreat.
With some peace of mind I push forward. I'm making some progress when a large general steps in my way. I take a few steps back at first, getting a little spooked. But, they come towards me and swing at me with their blade. I'm able to dodge and counter attack. We go on like this for a while. The team and the Blade must be right behind me. I try to duck past him but he gets me pretty bad on my side. I’m unable to suppress a loud yelp as I fall on the ground and roll a bit from the impact. Despite the amount of adrenaline in my blood, I still feel the mind numbing pain in my side. My head aches from impacting the ground, so I have my eyes squeezed shut. Until, I realize everything has gone quiet. I frantically get to my feet and continue to run to the base. My eyes are really blurry, but I need to keep going. The mission is more important than the pain.
"WAIT!" I look behind me as I run, to see the general I was just fighting.
Everyone has stopped moving and fighting. I'm so confused and scared.
I slow my pace and turn around.
"I'm not going to hurt you. Please don't hurt yourself." They say in a gentle voice; almost like the voice you would use to talk to a child.
"W-what?" I say out of breath.
All the Galra slowly lower their weapons and are looking at me. The sentries have all seemed to shut down. My eyes dart rapidly looking at each of them.
"Don't be scared. No one's going to hurt you." He approaches me slowly.
I lift my blade while holding my side. My hand is shaking but I try to look threatening. They lean down and put their hands up.
"Don't worry, kit. No one will hurt you. Let us help."
"I...don't...what?" I say, sounding dazed and confused.
"Keith." My eyes shoot to Kolivan, who is the source of the voice.
"Can you put down the blade and come to me?" He says with a similar softness. It's freaking me out.
"W-what's going on?" I'm shaking and my eyes are watery and blurry. I feel really cold. I'm bleeding a lot.
"I need you to listen. We're not fighting anymore. Put the blade down. Let me help you. You're bleeding."
"What's happening?!" I yell, growing colder. Tears escape my clouded eyes.
"No more fighting." The Galra general says.
"What...?" I whisper. I'm so confused and terrified.
The blade slips from my hand and I add that hand to my side, unable to keep my arm raised. I use both hands to put all the pressure I can muster on the wound.
"I...don't feel good, Kolivan." I look to him as I start to feel dizzy.
Kolivan's p.o.v.
Keith is void of all color, other than the crimson red coming from his side. His eyes are almost glazed and he's shaking. Tears are dripping off his cheeks. He looks terrified and lost. My heart feel like it's going to explode with worry.
While the battle was going on, I was watching over Keith. I watched as he stopped and assisted one of my men. I was shocked to see any Paladin do something self-sacrificing for a Galra. I was proud of him. I'm not really in a position to be proud of him. But, I was pleased to see he was capable of such kindness. I was worried when I saw that general step up to him. Something in me pushed me to try and get there as soon as possible. But, there were many men in front of me. I couldn't get there. I was focused on fighting when the unmistakable sound of a kit in pain was heard by everyone. The sentries all auto shutdown at the sound. Every Galra stopped and anxiously looked around. I heard the members of Voltron continue to fire. I turned to face them and demanded they stopped. I probably scared them. But, we needed to find the kit and keep them safe. I ran to where I heard the noise come from. I found the general that was fighting Keith. They were leaning down. That's when I saw Keith.
"I...don't feel good, Kolivan." He looks at me with eyes full of terror.
The general and I rush to his side and I pick him up. I immediately run as fast as I can to our ship.
"Keith, I'm taking you to get medical attention. You're going to be okay." I try to assure him.
He just looks at me. He is completely dazed. He lays his head on my chest.
"I'm—I'm scared. Cold." He squeaks out the last two words.
My heart is racing faster than it ever has. Holding a dying kit is worse than I could ever have imagined. I feel so helpless.
"You're safe. No one will hurt you ever again. Stay with me, Keith. Please."
"I'm coming with you." The Galra general says, running beside me.
Of course, normally we would be enemies. But, right now, all that matters to any Galra is that the kit is safe.
"Okay."
We both run back to our ship, as fast as we can without causing Keith anymore pain. He lets out occasional whimpers and whines.
The Paladins run after us, yelling to know what is going on. We can't deal with them right now. We get to our ship and fly as fast as possible to the castle.
Once we land, we book it out of our ship. I'm carrying a barely conscience Keith in my arm.
We are met by a frantic Princess Allura.
"What happened?! What is the enemy doing here!?"
"This is NOT the time! Do your healing pods work on Galra?" I yell at her.
"Y-Yes." Her response sounds like she is intimidated. But, I really don't care about that right now.
"Bring me to them! Now!" I yell.
She quickly shows us the way. Once we get there, I gently put the kit into one of the pods.
I watch as it closes. His mangled body stands in front of me. My heart feels shattered. I've seen a lot of terrible things as a result of this war. But, none as disturbing as this. A precious kit on the brink of death.
I turn to see the Galra general that did this to him. I would normally be enraged and kill him for such a crime. But, he looks just as horrified as I do.
"Will he be okay?" The general looks to me with tears in his eyes.
"I—I don't know."
I hadn’t realized that all of the Paladins, the princess, and my three highest ranking officials have crowded into the room.
"A kit?!" I hear Thace come to my side.
"How old is he?!" Antok turns to the black Paladin.
"What..." he starts.
"HOW OLD?!" Antok screams at him.
"18."
"Oh my God. What was he doing on the battlefield?! Zarkon wouldn't even do such a thing!" The general yells at me.
He's right. How could we do this. We knew he was Galra. We didn't even think to ask. How could a kit be a Paladin of Voltron? Such a young one, as well. I've never even seen one so young.
"We didn't know. No one knew. You knew!" I turn to the princess and her advisor.
"We didn't know. We didn't even think of that. God...he's only a child!" Allura cries, tear streaming down her face.
"He may die! If he does, I will see to your punishment myself!"
"I can't believe this. How could I do such a heartless thing?"
"For now, let us only think of Keith." The black Paladin steps forward.
He's right. Punishment can be dealt with later. The kit is all that matters.
I nod and look back to Keith. I feel Antok's hand on my shoulder. The comfort is greatly welcome. I let out a heavy sigh.
Shiro's p.o.v.
"Will he live?" Ulaz turns to the princesses advisor.
"He lost a lot of blood. There is no way to be sure. All we can do is wait." He responds solemnly.
"What is the state of his injuries?"
"Well, let's see, according to the pod...he has a deep gash threw the left side of his waist. He has two fractured ribs and it seems he has many semi-deep cuts up his forearms and left leg. What could have caused those?" Coran looks puzzled.
"Oh...Keith." Pidge lays her hand on the glass of the pod, as tears drip down her cheeks.
Lance has a hand covering his mouth and Hunk has his hands over his heart.
"How recent?" Is all I can ask.
"Many are recent. While some are scarred. Do you know what caused them?" Coran inquiries. He is truly confused.
"Keith." Pidge is able to reply for me.
"What do you mean by that?" Coran asks.
"Sometimes when people get really upset they purposely hurt themselves. They do it for different reasons. Sometimes to distract them from emotional pain. Sometimes as a way to punish themselves, because they hate themselves or feel guilty for something." Pidge responds.
My emotions are too strong to allow me to speak.
All of the Galra look absolutely horrified.
"That's why we could sense he was injured. Poor kit." Ulaz states. He looks heartbroken.
"How did none of you know?" Antok snarls a little.
"Calm yourself." Kolivan commands.
"How would none of them know! Only seven people in the entire castle and no one knows the boy is so upset he is harming himself!"
"We will discuss this later."
Antok just growls and turns to face away from us.
He isn't wrong. We had no idea. I guess I haven't really been thinking about him. I always thought of him as sort of self-sustaining. He was alone for so long, I thought he would be fine that way. I love him. I've just been so busy. He wasn't something prevalent on my mind. I feel consumed by guilt.
"I guess...we did kind of leave him out." Hunk says, sadness can be heard in his voice.
Pidge and Lance nod as they look down sadly.
If only we had known.