Archive of Our Own ^beta

„Yok, you are late. Gumpa told us it was important and to hurry. Do you have to bring HIM all the time?”

“Shut up, Sean. Dan is my partner, he is with us and already apologized.”

“Saying sorry doesn’t change the fact he killed my father.”

“Not again, Sean Yok, stop it. Yok I get you want to protect your boyfriend, but you have to understand that this is not about you and the fact you forgave him. It also doesn’t matter that we remitted him for the betrayal we still remember it and we need more time to adjust. This is between Dan and Sean about his dad and Sean has every right to be angry. Don’t meddle.”

“Black is right Yok. I deserve it, I messed up everything even the reason and time I chose to tell him were all wrong. I can take it and I will keep trying to build some working partnership.”

“Sean, we are not forcing you to forgive, forget, or stop being angry you just have to endure him. You know very well he is part of us whether you like it or not.”

“I know, I know…It’s still hard I can’t help it, but I am trying too and I know without him we wouldn’t have any news about White.”

The mention of White made all of them somber. White was their biggest regret.

“I’m sorry I could give you only a photo my friend took when he was on patrol. When we got there with Yok he was already gone.”

“It was more than we could find after months of searching. I am surprised you would help us with White after what he has done to you.”

“Peace offering, Gram. It was a peace offering, without it we wouldn’t accept Dan as fast.”

“It indeed helped me approach you, freeing Yok from the hot spot about me, but it was more than that, Black. I want to find your brother too. I need to thank him not only for saving you guys. He saved me too. I had thoughts about leaving the police for a long time a greater urge since I met Yok and an even bigger desire after everything that happened, but I was a coward. It was exactly as White wrote about me in the exposing article that had me fired:

Sometimes people need to stay under the wings of a toxic group and environment to gain a false sense of security and safety, even though they know all about their faults and evils. Then it is up to the people and society to decide whether to turn their backs on these people or offer a helping hand.

White offered me his helping hand I won’t let it go to waste. Besides the article was directed at the police, not many people know it was mostly about me, sure it got me fired but didn’t cause me or my family any damage.”

White did that a lot, inspiring words in each of his articles. Black was very proud of his baby brother, but he receives a new stab to his heart with every White’s new post. Conversations mentioning White are extremely hard on him and the rest. The guilt is eating them alive.

“I am sorry Sean, for snapping. I will try to cool down.”

“I am sorry too Yok, I won’t involve you in our mess from now on. I will keep it between me and him.”

Since Dan brought that photo of White they did find some strange balance. Dan maintained an effort to apologize and be present if Sean ever needed anything but no longer showed Sean any pity or compelled him to accept him. Sean wasn’t as angry as before, he was very hard and harsh on him but lesser and lesser each time. It helped that Dan just let him do it with a brave face.

After this talk, they went back to sad faces and silence.

“Sorry for the delay, I had to deal with something concerning the situation I needed you to gather quickly… What happened? Did Sean and Yok fight again? Or did you talk about White?”

“Both,” All said in unison.

“Hia, why are we here?”

Gram asked, after that conversation he wanted nothing more than to get drunk. He blamed himself for all of it, he didn’t give White any chance. If only he answered White when he reached out to him. All of them wouldn’t be this miserable.

“I have to ask, any news about White? Besides the photo?”

They all shook heads.

“Damn, that’s not good. We seriously need to find him now.”

“What happened, Hia? What did you find out about my brother?”

“Let’s all try to be calm, especially you Black… Someone put a hit on him, a big reward for any information. Actually not specifically on White but on ‘Grey Harbinger of Hope’, which as we know is White’s pen name.”

“Do they want him dead or exposed?”

“Who wants to take my brother down?”

Sean and Black shouted at once, they do that a lot. They became close and in sync, spending most of their time together.

“That’s why I was on the phone so long and what is making me anxious. I don’t know. I can’t find out who and what they want to do with him.”

“I will ask around too.” Dan offered.

“Thanks.” Now Gumpa joined the chorus of Sean and Black.

“I am also worried about the timing, it’s about 2-3 weeks after the photo.”

“You are right Hia, and if you add what is White writing and tweeting lately. Do you think it has something to do with it?”

“I am thinking the same Gram. I don’t believe in coincidence.”

Everyone was starting to nervously roam their eyes in Black’s direction.

“If you're all wondering if I have the same opinion, then yes I do. It may sound terrible but I hope it's rather some gangster who wants to get rid of White than how we all assume. If our parents are involved, we need to find White first. Moreover, I am worried about them joining hands. They are master manipulators. Once separated, me and White, we can probably handle them but they will still mess with our heads. When together imagine the worst psychological shit they can pull and that’s how our lovely parents are.”

“Do you think they know it’s White?”

“I don’t know, Dan. He didn’t disclose their identities so far, but given he is targeting both of them at once, most likely they know.”

“Guys, I am going to be honest with you, some things are sort of suspicious. Let’s start with the photo. You were looking for him for so long, I had the same bad luck and suddenly there was a picture of him meeting with speakers for protest? It seems intentional.”

“Are you saying he showed up deliberately?”

“I don’t know, Yok. You tell me I never met him I don’t know him.”

“Why would he do that, besides the fact he might want to show us how dreadful he looks, exhausted, pale and you can tell he lost some weight.”

“Pointing that out is not helping, Sean.” Black shot him a death glare.

“Oh, shit shit shit…”

“What the hell, Gram? Stop shouting.”

“Don’t you get it, Black? Think carefully about what he did or more precisely what he was willing to risk when he was investigating who beat you up... He is making himself the bait.”

“Damn it, you are right and it makes sense. If he wants to take our parents down he has to force them to make a move. Hia, we need to find him asap.”

“What more, Dan? You said things.” Hia nodded at Black and turn attention back to Dan.

“How is he able to keep tabs on you? I was a police officer I have some friends on the streets and I was unable to learn much about your gang. You have a great system and you are pretty secretive and careful.”

“You sure? Your lover boy is not as reliable as you think.”

“I was blinded by love Black….sorry, that was not funny.”

“What Dan, do you think we have a spy among us? Don’t be ridiculous.” Sean dismissed Dan’s idea.

Yok smirked at Sean’s suggestion, but Black, Gumpa, and Dan didn’t miss the strange face Gram made.

“I swear Gram, if you are in contact with White or know something I am going to kill you and I don’t mean figuratively.”

“What? No, Black, I wouldn’t do that. I have to bring him back after all I’ve done, how stupid I was, and pushed him away.”

“We all did, Gram. We all are to blame, however, you are acting weird. Why did you make that face after Sean mentioned a spy?” Gumpa was directing the conversation, smelling some hope.

“It triggered odd things I have been noticing about…”

“About what, Gram? I am losing my patience here.” Black was about to stand up and shake Gram, but Sean stopped him.

“About Nuch and Eugene, they are asking questions.”

“They are always asking questions.”

“Black, but they are asking very specific questions like they know stuff.”

“Maybe they are playing with you, it’s your fault you let your girlfriend and ex-girlfriend be friends. Your love li…”

Yok interrupted his thought and froze, his mind started to connect some dots.

“Yok, honey are you all right?”

“I take it back, Gram. I just realized Namo is asking unusual questions too.”

“What about you two, Black and Sean? Are Eugene and Namo asking you something?”

“I am not in contact with Namo.”

“Same here, I am focusing only on White. After I cleared things up with Eugene and Gram, we don’t talk much.”

“But would it be even possible, for them to be White’s spies? Taking Nuch out of it, because her questions aren’t different from usual only more frequent, Eugene on the other hand is more eager, more concrete and I don’t know how to explain…the tone of the questions is very unlike her, like it’s someone else asking.”

“You came up with that, Gram.”

“Sorry, Hia.”

“What questions is Namo asking?” Sean was focusing on Yok who was visibly nervous.

“I promised I won’t say.”

“Are you freaking kidding me?”

“Black, this is why I don’t want to tell. All right, all right…but you and Sean have to promise you won’t hit me or get mad… She asked about Black, which on its own is strange as hell. She asked about your temper and if you are fighting with Sean, how is your health, if you are injured.”

“What did she ask about me?”

Yok became very uneasy.

“WHAT DID SHE ASK ABOUT ME?”

“Normal stuff but mostly about your nightmares.”

Sean stood up and started walking around, shocked with mixed feelings but somehow he was happy. They have finally some hope of finding White.

“She doesn’t know about my nightmares, only Gumpa, Black and White.”

“Black knows?” Gram was surprised.

“I don’t have them anymore. Black knows because I told him when he was asking about White. White…he helped me when we stayed together. I never fell asleep so deeply with Namo to have them I was always alert just in case and we didn’t spend many whole nights sleeping next to each other.”

“When did Namo ask about my health?”

“It was way back, I don’t remember the date exactly, but it was not so long after White vanished, maybe a week or two. I figured it was because of the coma.”

Black and Sean share the look, now they are positive.

“Namo being a spy is almost 100%.”

“Care to share why are you so sure, Sean?”

“No Hia, you have to trust us,” Black answered for him.

“How about we confront all 3 of them? Can you make them come here? It’s our ground it might make them nervous and let slip some information.” Gumpa suggested.

Gram and Yok nodded

“And try not to act suspicious or better don’t tell them you are taking them here. In case they are all in it together, it would be good if they don’t know we want them in one place.” Dan added.

“I can cook something up.” Yok was confident.

“I am jealous you have only Namo.”

“Not my fault, your love life is a mess, Gram.”

🌈

“Sean I want to try again.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know, what I did… why White asked about my health.”

“Absolutely not, Black. Are you kidding me? Don’t you remember what happened after that? Let me remind you of the disaster. You fell down the stairs, hit the mirror so hard you broke it, and cut your fist on that glass and other idiotic stuff to harm yourself ON PURPOSE. What did White do after that?”

“I wanted to reach out to him, to make him come back.”

“WHAT DID WHITE DO AFTER THAT, BLACK.”

“He drowned himself, four times in a row every time longer. He is so stubborn.”

“You have that in common. I know you are desperate but let’s wait for what we find out from the girls. I can feel we are getting closer.”

“When did you get so optimistic?”

“Shut up.”

“I am worried about him, our parents are…”

“I know, me too.”

🌈

“What is the plan, Hia? How are we going to confront them?” Gram asked.

“I want you to let me handle it, please don’t be emotional, especially Black and Sean be cool. When are you picking up the girls? And what did you tell them?”

“I told Namo there is a new street artist, we are checking the work.”

“We are having drinks I told them Black might join us and thanks for the car, P'Dan.”

“Okay, I know I am being a jerk, but I am dying to talk about your love life, all that chaos, and now you mention all 4 of you together? That’s gold for my heart.”

“Honey, I don’t think now is the right time.”

“Yok, you are stupid. There is no chaos. We talked, sorted it all out and now we are good.”

“It was a little awkward at first but as Black says we are friends.”

“Gram, I can’t get it out of my head and then there is White. I know he broke up with Eugene as Black for the second time.”

“Now that you are mentioning it, that should be our first hint. Eugene took it all too well like she already knew about White.”

“That is not the point here, Black, that means something happened between them. Do you know what? Do you think they were intimate?”

Sean, Gumpa, and Dan let out a sigh, they had given up on any argument with Yok, Gram tossed a handful of the nuts he was eating at him and Black leaned in to smack his head. Yok began to laugh out loud infectiously, forcing the others to smile. They were relaxed and because of that more surprised by the trio of “White’s Angels” entering the garage.

“We kissed and drank, it was hot. White is a very good kisser, don’t you agree, Namo?”

“Whatever, let’s get it over with. They are having fun, we shouldn’t disturb them any longer.”

The garage fell into silence. The gang was startled, their laughter had a bitter taste after Namo’s remark. Sean and Yok were stunned by Namo acting angry and irritable. She didn't act like usual at all, they hardly recognized her. Yok talked to her an hour ago and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. All the women seemed different than usual. Eugene was acting friendly and smiling but her eyes showed aloofness. Nuch was observing and watching over Namo and Eugene protectively while sternly staring the guys down.

“Dudes, your girlfriend, and Exes are scary.”

“I was never Sean’s girlfriend, Yok.”

“Babe, why are you here? Are you angry?”

“Gram, isn’t it a ridiculous question? Didn’t you want to confront us?” Nuch answered her boyfriend, a little distant but let him give her a welcoming kiss.

“So no kisses for ex-girlfriend, Gram or Black? I should go to White.”

“EUGENE!!!” Nuch and Namo scolded her.

“What? White said we should come to them first and steal their thunder.”

“But he didn’t say to make fun of them.”

“They were asking for it, Namo.” Eugene took Namo’s hand and brought her to sit on the couch which Dan and Yok emptied for them.

“That means you are spies for White?” “Where is my brother.” Sean and Black spoke at the same time

“Now you care about him?”

“Namo, you promised to be calm. Spies is a strong word, Sean. We merely keep him updated. About your missions, he has someone else.” Nuch was taking over the conversation.

“Please tell me where is my brother. Nuch you know me, you can tell how hard I am trying not to throw a fit.”

“Nuch you have to understand, we are barely holding it together. We were searching for White for a long time and now we find out you know where he is?”

Gumpa tried to prevent the hell from going loose and he could tell Nuch is doing the same. Right now guys are not their friends, boyfriend, or exes. They are the people that hurt White.

“We don’t know where he is. We are only in contact. I am sorry, Black.” Eugene saw Black’s pain and her strong demeanor softened a little.

“Even If we knew we wouldn’t tell you.”

“Namo is probably right. If I knew I don’t know If I would tell you. White told us to expect it. Sooner or later you would find out about our connection. He told us we can decide what we want to tell you.” Nuch continued.

“You are working for White? What do you do for him?”

“Gram…Babe, not for but with White. We gather the information that he needs. Is it really a surprise? You know very well that we are openly invested in protests and movement.”

“I can’t believe White would purposely put you in danger.”

“This again Black? For peace of your mind, He was against the idea at first too, but unlike you, he listened and let us make our choices. He accepted it.”

“Besides he is not asking for anything dangerous.” Nuch followed Eugene’s words.

“But being in contact with Harbinger is dangerous.” Sean tensely joined the conversation still very taken aback by Namo.

“He takes care of us, protecting us. He is good at that, you should know.” Namo answered him slightly acknowledging the gang is worried about them and White.

“I am sorry to meddle, but I think you are letting your feelings cloud the conversation. Girls, we have a reason to find White pronto. It’s for his safety. So please can you contact him for us? Make him speak to us?”

Dan wanted to help Gumpa and Nuch’s efforts to maintain discussions on the right track. Girls looked at each other, reluctant to do so.

“How did it happen, anyway? You met White only when he was pretending to be Black, how did you become friends? Did he approach you?”

Sean spoke the thought that everyone was thinking. Girls signed and they told them their story.

Flashbacks

White was lost, he didn’t have a place to go. There is no way he will go back to Dad, after all he did to finally gain freedom. He was free but alone, without his brother and friends. He has no one. He will spend the night going around and waiting for tomorrow. There are other people whom White owns the truth. He needs to explain things to Eugene and Nuch.

In his aimless night wandering, he ended up somewhere between the campus and where the protests are taking place. He ignored all the people staring at him strangely and there were a lot of them for the late time. The night was warm but he was freezing, trembling, and had cold sweat everywhere.

“Black, is that you? OMG, what happened? You look awful.”

“I think he is having a fever, Eugene. We should take him back to his place.”

Nuch and Eugene found hopeless White when they were coming home from the protest. White looked at them a little space out, his head was hurting and his ears were buzzing. But he knew it was not his. He fell to his knees and whined with the sounds which gave the girls chills and clenched their hearts.

“Black, tell me what is wrong. How can we help?”

“Sorry, I am sorry, I am not Black. I am his twin brother White. I was pretending to be Black. I will tell you everything if you let me. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am really sorry. Please let me explain.”

Eugene couldn’t hold the tears and started crying with White, embracing him. Nuch was surprised but suspected something was up with Black. She wanted to let White and Eugene calm down more, however, White was ill they have to move.

“Eugene your place is closer, can we go there, and warm him up? Do you have something for fever at home?”

“Yes I do, can you stand up White? Let us help you.”

White looked at both of them confused, Nuch and Eugene were worried about him, caring about him, and they were calling his name without anger or insult. He let himself be dragged to Eugene’s apartment. They forced him to take a bath. Eugene gave him Black’s clothes, which he forgot there. He wasn’t able to swallow the first pill he threw it up, he was successful on his second attempt.

“White you should sleep. We will stay here and wait for you to rest, you have a high fever.”

“No, Nuch I have to tell you everything and the fever is not mine anyway. I have to apologize to you. I am sorry, so sorry.”

“White stop saying sorry. You can start talking but promise me if you feel sick you will lie down a try to sleep.”

Eugene sat down next to White and held his hand. Nuch joined them and supported White with her hand on his back. White started to sob again and began unloading. He told them everything, about Black, why he did it, Tod’s betrayal, his dad, and the argument with the guys. He left out things about the gang and their missions.

He talked for a long time before he passed out from exhaustion. He slept soundly throughout the next day and woke up sometime in the middle of the next night. His whole body was heavy, he found Eugene sleeping next to him and Nuch on the couch. White wanted to sneak out but he was a little numb. He wasn’t careful enough and woke up the girls.

“Where are you going in the middle of the night?”

“I don’t know, but this is not my place, Eugene.”

“Where is your place, White?” Nuch’s words were meant well but made White cry again.

“I don’t have one.”

“Then come back to sleep and in the morning you can start thinking about that. Me and Nuch can help you find out. We understood and forgave you, let us care for you.”

“Were you here the whole time I slept?”

“We took turns watching over you. Go back to sleep White, you are still sick.” Nuch was concerned, White was very pale.

“Okay, but I will take the couch.”

“You have to promise you won’t run away.” Eugene looked at him strictly.

When they woke up White was gone, but he left the note.

I promise I will be right back, I have to pick up some things from Black’s apartment.

Both of them were panicking, they knew White is in bad shape, and they were afraid he will do something stupid. Luckily he came back with breakfast.

🍀

“I can’t stay here, Eugene and I can’t impose on your family Nuch. Neither is an option. I will find someplace to crash before they cool down enough to speak again.”

“I don’t understand why it can’t be here. Black is not going to come here.”

“But Gram might…” Nuch shared the look with White, implying she knows about Gram’s feelings.

“I know what we will do, Namo can help. She can find an abandoned building, you can borrow my tent and stay there.”

“That is a good idea Eugene. Call her.”

“NO, I don’t want to bother her and I don’t think it would be good or fair. It would stain her relationship with Sean. I believe she won’t tell him but she would have to lie for me. I don’t like that.”

“Trust me, White. They are having problems for quite some time. You won’t stain anything. Let’s ask her opinion first.”

🍀

“This place is good, thank you Namo… And again sorry.”

“Seriously, you are annoying with all that apologizing. I get it. I won’t say anything. Sean barely talks to me. Do you need to help put up the tent?”

“No, I am all right. You can go I know you have a place to be.”

“Hm… okay call me if you need anything. And so you know I promised to keep an eye on you so I am coming by with the dinner. Your mothers were very specific about making sure you eat.”

“Mothers?”

“Eugene and Nuch….oh I almost forgot, this is from Nuch, her old notebook to keep you busy.”

🍀

“White? White? Where are you? Damn it, don’t joke with me. Eugene is going to kill me if I tell her I lost you on the first day.”

Namo was frantically searching the building for any sight of White. The tent was there, all his things too, only missing was White.

“Am I someone that needs a babysitter?”

“Apparently so, where were you?”

“I needed an internet and things to buy.”

“What the hell? Are you setting office here? Where did you get the money?”

“Something like that. And I am working, I translate things. What did you think I lived off? It won’t make me rich, but I won’t starve.”

“Funny, you mention starving. Did you eat? And you do know there is no electricity, right?”

“I brought a battery to power it. And I will go parasite on free internet outside. I found some places close by.” White didn’t comment on the eating. He was avoiding it.

“This is like a mini power generator, will it be enough? I will bring you my power bank and charge the one you have here.”

“That would be great, thanks.”

🍀

“You know, Nuch was here to check up on me already. You didn’t have to come, Namo. And it’s late…”

“Didn’t have a place to go tonight.”

“Fight with parents? Come in.”

“Nuch said you didn’t sleep last night and by the looks of it you are not sleeping today either?”

“I couldn't sleep and I am investigating. Do you want to talk? I can listen.”

Namo did want to talk, she thought it was only fair. White opened up to her about his life. They soon figured out their feelings for Sean are the same. Despite that, they surprisingly got along well, a little too well for potential love rivals.

“Sorry…, sorry…, I will be good…, don’t…, please… please don’t lock me up.”

“White, White, wake up. It’s all right, you are safe. I am here.”

“Namo? What happened?”

“Is this the main reason you can't sleep? The nightmares?”

“I guess I caught it from Sean.”

“He has nightmares?”

“Oh, shit I thought you knew. Sorry, can you forget it?”

“It’s okay, it makes sense now. He was always so tense when we spent the night together. He didn’t want me to find out.”

“I am sorry.” White felt guilty he knew and Namo didn’t. He didn’t want to butt in their relationship more than he already did.

“What did I say to you about the apologizing? If you don’t stop I am going to hit you. Want to talk about your nightmares?”

“Sorry, I don’t.” Namo was true to her words and smacked White’s head.

🍀

“Where you out all night again? Doing unsafe stuff alone without backup?”

“I had to, it’s important and I am being cautious.”

“It’s the second night in a row. Did you sleep or eat? Those two things are important too. You are hurting yourself like that.”

“I found something bad, guys are in danger. I have to meet them.”

“Are you sure you are ready? You are in bad shape, can you handle it? I know they are looking for you but I think you need more time.”

“I don’t have a choice, it’s serious. I tried to reach out to them but they ignored me.”

White felt guilty about lying to Namo. He only called Gumpa and Gram and didn’t try hard. He could easily ask Namo for Yok’s number he was stalking him online anyway. It was not complicated to contact Yok. But White needed to convince himself that he has no other option than to meet the gang. He faked his pros and cons list and persuaded his subconscious he did everything he could to avoid the meeting. He knew he wasn’t stable but White had to see his brother and Sean.

“Then promise me you will call how it went and if…if it will be bad, you will come here where we can find you.”

🍀

„Eugene, can you come here? I…White..he…I don’t know what to do.”

“Namo? Are you crying?”

“It didn’t go well with them. White… he is broken. He didn’t stop crying and he keeps apologizing, claiming it was his fault and they hate him now. I think he got mad and said what he thinks about them.”

“There is nothing wrong with that.”

“But White doesn’t think so. I couldn’t calm him down he passed out crying, I don’t think he ate anything again, his body is weak he is almost transparent and he is still sobbing and saying sorry in his sleep.”

“I am on my way, I will call Nuch. And Namo, in case you are thinking about it, don’t storm into the garage to kill them.”

White was feeling revealed after he told the gang all he buried inside. He was determined to find his place in the world. But his resolution began to crumble more and more. When he reached his temporary sanctuary and found Namo nervously waiting for him, his heart and mind shattered. What did he do? You just killed any possibility to reconcile with his beloved brother and any chance he had with Sean. He can’t be friends with any of them after all those hurtful words he told them.

He was in a crying and apologizing ball of shambles for a while. He couldn’t eat, most of the solid food he threw up. He was only on water, yogurts, and some nutrient drinks Nuch brought him. Namo stayed with him throughout the whole time. White knew he has to man up, not to make his saviors worry about him any longer, but he wasn’t strong enough. It was only after he received the text from Gumpa agreeing with his plan, White recovered little. White left sleeping Namo next to him with a note promising he will call her and come back when he is better.

He kept his promise, updating girls on his health. Eugene and Nuch only saw him again after he alerted them about the guys being kidnaped. Namo found White sooner. She had the biggest fight with her family and left home for good. Since then she mended the relationship with her family, but at that time she fell to the bottom and White came to her rescue. They stayed together for some time before White disappeared again. Namo and White loved each other not romantically but they became siblings through their struggle.

End of Flashbacks

Everyone was listening to the girls and their point of view of the events that happened after their fight with White with sadness and even more guilt in their eyes. Girls didn’t forget to highlight how White became a working machine with hardly any rest, about his sneaking alone in search of information and evidence for his articles, and about his eating disorder.

Sean and Black were devastated. They could hear vividly White’s agonizing voice that couldn’t stop apologizing. Will they even be able to atone for what they have done to White? Black’s effort to protect his baby brother pushed him into more danger and suffering. All he learned about White’s health explained the sick feeling he was often having. He couldn’t distinguish if it was White or his pain but now he knew it was White. Sean was thinking that any chance he had with White was long gone. Why wasn't he more decisive, why didn't he stand up for White? Why wasn’t he faster and try to catch him when White run away? He felt hopeless.

“It’s pointless to talk to you guys. Like I said before even if I knew where he is staying now I wouldn’t tell you. I am leaving. Nuch, Eugene are you coming with me?”

“I think you need some time to process what you learned. We will tell him everything. But sorry, we won’t give you his number or tell you how to contact him.” Nuch said and joined Namo.

Before Namo left she turned back with one last thought.

“I don’t want you to hurt him anymore but it would be good if he finally had someone watching his back so I will give you a hint. White told me you are unable to find him because you think he is only hiding from you.”

“Please understand her, she was with him through the worst, we all saw him broken but she saw him shattered to pieces. And he was there for her when she had the biggest fight with her family and left home. They became each other’s family.”

Eugene stood up and went after them. The gang was unable to speak, all were lost in their thoughts.

“Yok, did you know Namo left home?” Sean asked.

“No, I didn’t…”

“It’s bad, right? I thought we have finally some hope.”

“We still have hope, Gram. We have to think about everything they said I am sure we can think of something. Guys, I know you are feeling worse than before, me too, but we need to focus. Nothing changed we have to find White. He is in danger.”

“Okay, Hia”

“I apologize in advance. I know you will hate me for this, but I can’t think of White and what is important and more pressing before I get it out of my head first. It’s killing me and clouding my mind.”

“What are you talking about, Honey? Tell us.”

“No don’t tell us, I know what you are going to say. Just don’t, Yok.”

“Don’t be mean Sean… Is it White and Namo, White and Eugene, Namo and Eugene, or all 3 of them?”

Black and Sean were fed up with Yok and left. Gumpa threw a rag at him and Gram was just shaking his head in disbelief.

“Honey, I don’t think I can defend you right now. It is not a good time to joke.”

“I am not joking, I am serious. Gram I need you to find out.”

🌈

“SEAN!!! Watch out, you idiot.” Black shouted and pushed Sean out of the way of falling pipes.

“What the hell are you doing, Sean?”

“Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.”

“What happened guys? I heard a bang.”

“Hia, this moron almost caused me a heart attack by standing like a rock and letting himself be killed with pipes.”

“Did you figure something out?”

Black forget about his anger and worry about his friend. Did Sean find out something?

“It’s probably nothing and stupid.”

“Stupid and nothing is more than we have now.” Gumpa encouraged him.

“I can’t get out of my head what Namo told us about White hiding from someone else than us. There is only one option. Based on everything I know about your father, do we believe the ex-diplomat who still is a big shot in Thailand would just let his protégé walk out on him? Without trying to bring him back?”

“You are right, Sean. Why didn’t I think about that? My father was always a control freak I doubt he changed in Russia. How dumb I can be…”

“You are not the only one. It’s so obvious.” Gumpa couldn’t help but lightly punched the wall.

“But will it help?”

“Of course, it will, I can give my guys more info. If he avoids not only us but also his father, he has much less space for where he can stay and what resources to use. I need to make some calls. This is huge Sean.”

🌈

“Hia, why couldn’t you tell us on the phone? Is it bad or good?”

“I wanted to see your faces, Yok. It’s great news.”

“Did you find White?” Sean and Black shouted at once.

“No, but I got some information about White’s meeting with the informant who is leaking to him the things about the judge. He is supposed to give him important proof from her office. It’s a trap to catch White. My sources are saying they want to kidnap him.”

“How is White walking into a trap good news? And why is everyone, except me and Yok, having creepy smiles?” Gram was seriously confused.

“Because that means we know where and when White will be and we can get to him before they do.” Sean was happy, they are soon reaching their goal.

“I don’t want to spoil the joy but…” Dan was reluctant to finish because it meant to oppose Sean.

“We have to get ready, it’s happening in 2 days and Sean we can’t act rashly. It’s an obvious trap. Are we doubting White wouldn’t know and prepare, considering the nuance of White's plans in the past I’m sure he'll let himself be kidnapped on purpose to get incriminating evidence. Is this what you were trying to say, Dan?”

“Yes, I think it would be better to snatch him after he gets kidnapped.”

“But that will put him in jeopardy. I don’t want to risk it. His safety is the priority.”

“I understand Sean, but we can’t just ruin his plans. He works too hard for it.”

“Shut up, you don’t know him. You don’t have a right to stop me.”

“Sean, calm down. I agree with Dan. We will keep a watch and charge in if it gets heated and White’s life will be at risk.”

“Hia, you can’t be serious. Black, say something.”

Sean was in disbelief. Gram and Yok were staying out of it, they knew they would only make it worse. Black was unusually quiet. His ears were buzzing, he can’t believe it after almost 10 excruciating months he is getting close to White. He couldn’t concentrate.

“Stop it all of you. White is my baby brother, he is my blood, my twin, the extension of myself. I have a final say. Sean, don’t you know what happened when I tried to protect him by pushing him away, out of danger, dismissing his thoughts and actions? I hate it as you do but I agree with Gumpa and Dan. We will let them think they succeed, take as many photos and videos as we can and when they leave we will attack them and take White home.”

That was it, end of discussion. Making a plan was not hard, all they have to do is focus on their roles and study the surroundings of the place. Gumpa was satisfied with the plan but Sean could tell he is unhappy about the distribution of their parts. It’s his fault because of his inability to trust Dan.

“Hia, I think Gram and Dan should switch. Yok and Gram are matched duo. They are best at distraction and If Dan joins me and Black we will have a better chance to overpower the kidnappers.”

“But can you handle it? Trust him?”

“I honestly don’t know, but White is more important.”

“Hm…thanks Sean, I have some changes too. I think it would be better if Dan took White. I don’t think White will protest being rescued but given our situation, it might be good to let him face us here with peace and quiet.”

“But Black, he doesn’t know me? There is a possibility of him freaking out.”

“You will introduce yourself and White will know I am there. He will understand. Just take care of my brother.”

“I will, I promise…Sean, Black…Thank you for trusting me.”

“Are we completely discarding telling the girls?”

“Gram, I don’t want to spook White out. Although I am positive he will be expecting us I don’t want to risk it. We got this. I will surveillance everything, and we will succeed.”

Black was sure about that too. He had no doubt he will have White back soon, but he was concerned about what will happen after they will face each other again. Black was not the only one, excluding Dan, the gang was troubled and everybody was preparing the first words they will say to White.

🌈

White could feel it right away, second heart racing as fast as his. The phantom excitement and worry echoed back to him and doubled his same feelings. Black is here, he is watching over him, making sure he is safe. White was anticipating it, he counted on it. The gang was part of his plan. It was a little selfish to assume they will come to his rescue, but it was his only option to take his parents down. He had to risk it, that was his intention since the beginning, coming out of hiding to manipulate his prey to make a mistake. It also served as a final push to face the gang and his twin again. He can’t avoid them forever. After girls were discovered White knew it was only a matter of time.

White was annoyed, he felt a bit insulted by the sloppiness and amateurism of his kidnappers, sure if he was on his own he wouldn’t make it, but White is not alone. He made it easy for them, letting himself be captured, acting scared, begging for life. They didn’t have to throw him in the trunk blindfolded so harshly. He is nice to them, not fighting back, they could return a favor. He will have some bruises. White could sense Black is pissed. His attacker just made it worse for themselves.

White can hear the noise outside. It was too early for them to leave the premises of the abandoned warehouse, so they are still close by. He recognized the tumult of falling irons mixed with firecrackers and fireworks, Yok and Gram’s handiwork. The car stopped suddenly and White’s body hit the wall of the trunk hard. He heard the confused voices. There were only five of them, and even with guns, they are nothing for Black and Sean. White was uneasy though, he prayed they will be safe, and that he did not force them into danger. He heard shots and his heart stopped, in an instant he felt fresh air filled with smoke. Someone opened the trunk.

“White, I am Dan, I am Yok’s partner and I work with your brother. You have to trust me, we have to leave fast.”

“Is everybody all right?”

Dan removed the hood from his head and shared an assuring smile. He didn’t wait for anything and dragged White away. White wanted to look back to steal some glimpses of Black and Sean but Dan’s strong arm didn’t let him. In no time White was in the car.

“Hello, nice to meet you, White. I am taking you to the garage. Don’t worry about them. When I took you out of the car, we already disarmed them. It was only a fistfight after that in which Sean and Black have the upper hand and they were extremely angry at the rough treatment you received.”

“Thank you, for everything, saving me and saying that. I am White and it’s nice to officially meet you too.”

“No, thank you for saving my life and giving me a chance for redemption. How are you feeling?”

“Hmmm, all over the place?”

They chuckled. White took out his phone and recording pen. How come they didn’t check him for any wiretapping? They underestimated him or did White overrate them? The only explanation is that they didn’t count on any disturbance or resistance. The closer they were getting to the garage White felt more and more distressed. He speculated many outcomes of today but he felt stupid that he didn’t think of him being abducted and forced to confront the guys in the garage. They robbed him of the chance to run. There is no way he can disappear on them for the third time at the garage.

It was harder than he thought to enter the building. White had to pause several times and for a while, he only rested his hand on the entrance. He watched them, he knew they are sincere and how desperately they searched for him. They wanted him there, the rebuff was out of the question. All these facts didn’t make it any easier. He still dreaded the rejection. Dan recognized the unrest and gently petted his back.

When they entered the garage, White smelled the familiar ambiance. His heart began beating fast and loud. Gumpa, Yok, and Gram were already there, nervously waiting for the others.

“White”

Gumpa breathed a sigh of relief. All of them were smiling warmly at White. Yok and Gram’s eyes glistened, not far from tears. White was startled by the tenderness. It was the complete opposite of what he remembered from the last time he saw them. He couldn’t take their stare and the quietness of the room, he avoided their gazes and looked at the floor, but he took a step inside, getting near them.

The silence was interrupted by approaching motorbikes. White turned sharply towards the entrance and shortly Black and Sean came running inside. Sean halted at the sign of White, he was struck by his beauty and cuteness. White looked tired, he was too thin but was still gorgeous. Black on the other hand couldn’t stop. The second he saw White, his tears clouded his vision, he jumped at White, squishing him in a tight embrace.

“White, White, White. I freaking missed you, baby brother.”

When White heard Black utter his name he started to cry and squeezed Black in return. The image of crying twins clinging to each other, afraid to let go was hard to watch. Sean, Gumpa, Gram, and Yok were sobbing along, even Dan wasn’t able to resist the tears.

“Idiot, why did you risk so much without a reinforcement? What if they weren’t so horrible at it? Are you okay? Are you injured?”

“I had a backup. I am okay, Phi. What about you? Are all of you good?”

“Yes.” The gang said almost in unison. Black and White were still hugging when they started to talk. It broke the tension in the garage and serve as a permit to speak.

“What do you mean you had backup, White?” Gumpa was the first to join the twins in talking.

“I knew you would come. I admit I didn’t think I would be snatched here after that but you were part of my plan.”

“You knew it was a trap?”

“Yes, Sean I knew. Mom’s office is clean, she doesn’t keep anything incriminating there. No way someone from the office could steal some proof of her wrongdoings.”

“How do you know?” Black asked.

“I may or may not have already snooped around her office to steal.”

“You are a little devil, aren’t you? You are definitely twins, but Black is a big devil.” Yok laughed and earned the kick attempt from Black. If he wasn’t holding White he would succeed.

“But you still purposely walked in the trap.”

“Gram I think I heard it in some movie. Is it still a trap if you know it’s a trap?”

“I am surprised how unprepared they were.”

“Hia, I don’t think our parents informed them well.”

“They underestimated the twin’s connection. They thought White operates alone and Black wouldn’t help him.”

Black and White loosen their grip a bit, both looked at Sean and nodded. After the initial reunion and explanation of tonight’s events, things shifted to small awkwardness. The twins weren’t about to let go anytime soon. It looked like they wouldn’t mind staying like that forever.

“Guys, we should give White and Black some privacy. But just to be clear, White. We all want, no we all need to talk to you. Can you give us a chance? Will it be better for you if we take turns? You can use my room. Nobody is sleeping today anyway.”

“Thanks, Sean. I would love to do it like that.”

Black broke the embrace at last but kept holding White’s hand. He was about to pull White to Sean’s room when Yok got in their way.

“Sorry, but I need to do this before you go.” He hugged White, Gram joined them, Gumpa strokes White’s hair and Sean squeezed White’s free hand.

“Take your time. We can wait, if it’s all right with you we will figure out the order.” White nodded at Gumpa and left with Black to Sean’s room.

“Don’t get lost in some lovey-dovey memories when we are in his room.”

“Phi!!!”

But Black was right, White got nostalgic once he entered Sean’s room. They settle down on the bed, still holding hands. Black smoothed White's messy hair, placing a hand on his cheek, caressing White before pinching him.

“I am sorry, White. I didn’t mean to do it. I was confused and stubborn after I woke up. The thought of you being in menace because of me and with Tod out there to get me. The only thing in my brain was your safety. I was selfish I didn’t think about you. I thought I was, but I only put my wishes into perspective. And it didn’t even cross my mind you were close by when I was attacked.”

“I know why you did it. It still hurt like hell. Your rejection was too much for me.”

“I am really sorry.”

“Oh, that’s how it feels. I never understood why Namo is so annoyed with me when I keep apologizing. I get it now.”

“Yeah, but I did the horrible thing I need to apologize.”

“How about you stop that and instead make it up to me? Besides I am at fault too. I am not talking about how I pretended to be you, but about how I inflated the argument by hiding. It was not cool, I knew how hard you tried to reach out to me… I won’t apologize for it, I had my reasons and I hope you will understand me. I needed the time.”

“Don’t say sorry to me or the guys. We deserved it and it helped us too. We all grew up more and learned valuable lessons. Our friends know we are both stubborn. I think we have it in our blood. Our dear parents are like that too. I am guessing they are the reason you needed the time?”

White was moved and teary when he heard Black call the gang ‘our friends’ not just Black’s.

“Part of it. I required time and distance to grow up too. You know Black I never relied on myself. When we were kids I relied on you, when we were torn apart I tried to rely on Dad… but he wouldn’t let me. He always made sure I feel bad about it and myself. He used to say ‘I should have taken Black, you are useless to me’.”

“Mom used the same tactic with me. She never stopped reminding me, she should have kept you. How nice you are. That you would never disobey her. She told me it’s good we are apart because I would end up killing you anyway and you are better off without me.”

“That is stupid. You would never do that. And no way in hell I am better off without you… Funny how they used us as a reason to separate and then utilize the same manipulative tactics to make us succumb. Dad said I would only hold you back that I am merely a prison ball attached to your leg. And you must be happy that you are finally free from me.”

“Apart from the marriage being a great deal for them, they had to have something in common to make it work for a bit… But Mom was right. I DID hurt you, caused you pain. Namo told us about your nightmares and the eating…”

“NO, No, Black, that is not your fault… You are not the source of that… The argument with you and the gang only triggered my symptoms to show up again more precisely aggravated. I was never healed. I.. It started in Russia. I told you how I tried to rely on Dad, right? Not only did he try to undermine my self-confidence so that he could control me more easily, but he was also dissatisfied with the result because, on the contrary, when I was not confident enough, he began to lock me in the basement in the dark without food or water, sometimes for several days. When I tried to stand up for myself, It had the same effect. For Dad, everything I did was wrong…until I gave up and did everything he asked. I became his puppet.” White had to take a deep breath to continue.

“I am trying to say the nightmares are always about us separating or mostly about the freezing basement...and the eating was the consequence of it too. My stomach became sick because of that, but it somehow made me feel better. It was bad… I developed a type of Bulimia. I mostly starved myself and when I ate I vomited. It was my way of hurting myself without getting marks on my body which would Dad notice. Me being thin didn’t matter to him. Since I am completely honest I used to drown myself in a bathtub too. I couldn’t rely on Dad so I relied on mental illness. I got saved by my ex-girlfriend. Our dads made us date, her father was a diplomat too but we bonded over that and console each other I was almost without traits of being ill. Only sometimes it came back. Please believe me, after our fall out it never was as bad as in Russia.”

Black’s heart was in turmoil when White told him about his struggles with Dad. He wanted to kill their father. Black can’t believe he wanted to send his precious brother to the hands of the monster. It was worse than he imagined. His Mom used only words, she was very convincing and Black was persuaded by her that White is better off without him, but it was nothing compared to their Dad.

“I am sorry, Black. Are you disappointed in me?”

“What did we say about the sorry? I could never be disappointed. I am proud of you. I am angry at our parents that they separated us, at Dad for hurting you, and at myself for not being there…”

“The sorry was about something else…not for me disappearing.” They hugged again and wiped away the tears of each other.

“I am losing track of my thoughts. When I returned to Thailand I was ready to rely on you once again, but it was impossible, so I relied on Sean and the guys. When we quarreled and the girls found me I started to rely on them. I realized I couldn’t go on like that. I had to learn to rely on myself. I needed the time for that and to recover.”

“So are you good now? Healthy?”

“More or less, the nightmares are gone, haven’t had any in months and I don’t throw up anymore.”

“You are still too thin.”

“Yeah, I eat…but I don’t have much appetite and tend to forget when I get busy.”

“You are amazing. I am so impressed by how much you were able to accomplish on your own. Would you let me help with the last thing, to get you fully healed?”

“Mmmm.”

Crying was back and White could only nod. Black being proud of him and next to him was the greatest medicine in the world. White felt stupid for delaying their reunion. Black embraced him again and they stayed silent for a while.

“We have much more to talk about, but I feel sorry for the guys. I should give them a chance to mend your relationship… And about Sean… just don’t dive into anything fast… We might have fixed our friendship and deepened it while you were gone, but that doesn’t mean I am all okay with… whatever.”

“P’Black, don’t jump in conclusion… I…we…haven’t… I don’t know…”

“Your blushing tells a lot, Nong.”

They giggled and Black left White alone. White was glad for a little break, he wanted to gather his thoughts. He became uneasy, he prayed Sean won’t be the one entering the room. He signed in relief. It was Gram. He stood by the entrance unmoving.

“You want to sit?”

Gram nodded and very slowly joined White on the bed. White was thinking they should have chosen a different place. They are going to dirty Sean’s bed. He will have to change the sheets before he returns the room to Sean.

“I prepared this whole speech. I had so much to tell you… I forgot everything.”

“What is the first thing on your mind?”

Gram looked at him nervously.

“Sorry, I am so sorry, and thank you.”

“For what? I mean the thanks.”

“Everything... I regretted all I said to you the instant I said it. It was like something took over me. You were right I was stuck in my head and my thoughts clouded my reasoning. I was resentful and had to push it on someone, I had to blame you, for me to function. It was dumb and unfair. I am sorry.”

“Thank you, but you didn’t answer my question.”

“I am grateful you freed me from my overthinking, overanalyzing, and making me a proper adult. Also about Eugene and Nuch. They told me, without you neither would have given me a chance.”

“I didn’t exactly tell them that. We just talked. And It didn’t work out with Eugene.”

“But because of it, they opened their mind to me. If we didn’t try with Eugene, there would always be the elephant in the room ‘What If’ and I wouldn’t realize I was still in love with Nuch. That’s why I kept arguing with her, it was hard for me to accept that person I love had a different opinion.”

“She doesn’t.”

“I know that now, I couldn’t see it before. She came back to me only because you boosted her confidence about us.”

“I am happy for you.” White hugged Gram.

“We can still be friends, right?”

“Of course.”

The next up is Yok. The second Yok went in, he run over to White and pinned him down on the bed in a tight grip.

“I am sorry, White. I was such a coward. I was afraid to stand up for you. Can you forgive me? I was always one step behind. When I spoke up you were already gone. I am really sorry and thank you for Dan.”

“Slow down, It’s okay. Thanks for saying all that. Yok…can we sit up? You are choking me.”

“Oh…sorry. Thank you for coming back. You are coming back, don’t you?”

“I don’t know yet. Let’s talk about that later, okay?”

Yok started to titter.

“What?”

“You said we will talk about it later. That means you won’t go hiding again.”

“I won’t”

Yok couldn’t hold the tears anymore and forced White to hug again. They cried together for a while before Yok left to give space for the next in line.

It was Sean, after Black he was the second White was scared to face. With the time, distance, and estrangement he didn’t know what his feelings are. His heart was beating fast, he was exhilarated but worried about meeting Sean. It didn’t help White had no idea about Sean’s feelings. All he knew were his assumptions and the things Namo told him.

Sean didn’t hesitate and sat next to White, very closely. Their thighs were pressed. He was nervous and a little timid. His heart was making fast rhythmic sounds so loud he was afraid White will hear it. He wanted to squish White in his arms, he wanted to smell him, kiss him.

“I missed you so much, White. Whatever will happen from now on, please promise me to never vanish like this.”

“I…I…sorry I did that. I missed you too.”

“Don’t apologize…can you promise?”

“I promise I won’t leave ever again.”

Sean smiled and looked at White lovingly.

“Thank you… White, before I start what I want to tell you I have to ask…..Are you dating Namo?”

“What??? No, she is like my sister.”

“But Eugene hinted at…”

“Oh, yeah… Namo told me Eugene was joking with you guys. Although it’s true we kissed. When we were living together after she run away from home. We were both miserable and it kind of happened, but it was only a kiss, we knew right away there is nothing romantic between us. We are family.”

“I feel guilty towards both of you. That night after we celebrated under the Pride flag I went to Black’s apartment to apologize, to clear things up. I was puzzled about my feelings. It was complicated and frankly creepy when I thought I was falling in love with Black. We never hated each other but… you never saw us but I think you could gasp at how our relationship was. We loved to fight and push each other. We were rivals. Before you, we didn’t even talk much, which led to plenty of misunderstandings. At first, I hated the idea of me opening up to Black and figuring out what is developing inside of me. When I mustered the courage I found out I wasn’t falling in love with Black but his twin brother. Around that time I didn’t think about Namo at all. I never thought I am fit for love. I accept her only because she was there and we were friends. I didn’t hate spending time with her, I liked her but not enough for a relationship. I was a bastard for giving her false hope and selfishly keeping her by my side.”

“You should tell her that. I know you drifted apart but It would help both of you to talk about it.”

“I will…but you first. I am being selfish again. I won’t survive if I lose you again before we even start. When the argument took place I was perplexed. I didn’t know what I can or cannot do. I thought I am not allowed to hold you back or speak up. I admit I was very angry at you too. You messed up with my head. I am sorry, White, I was unable to fight for you. I knew what Black was doing and didn’t stop it.”

“Thank you, Sean, for telling me all that.”

Sean was staring at his hands the whole time. He didn’t notice when White started to cry. The urge to hug White increased.

“Can I hug you?”

White nodded between his sobs. Sean held him firm, trying to bring him closer and closer. He couldn’t help himself but squeezed White tight, he missed him. White was clinging to Sean with the same intensity. They both don’t know how exactly it happened but White soon was sitting on Sean’s lap, it was probably their desire to be glued together.

“Can you tell me? What did you want to tell me back then in Black’s apartment?”

“I wanted to tell you I was a hothead, that I shouldn’t have snapped at you, that you were right about me not thinking about consequences of our actions…and…about my Dad.”

“You can still tell me about your Dad now or later.”

Sean loosened up the embrace a little, just so he could look into White’s eyes. Sean stroked his cheek. Their faces were dangerously close. He was unable to stop peeking at White’s beautiful moist lips.

“Don’t you already know? I read your articles about it, directed at Tawi and the police.”

“I would love to hear it from you.”

White’s eyes showed support, care, love, and no glimpses of pity. He told him everything about his parents and his view of the events. White was there for him listening to each word, playing with his ear, caressing his face.

“Thank you for telling me….. How did you make the order? Does Hia want to come here too? Or…”

“He is, we are making him wait, aren’t we? It’s his fault he told you to take time and Gumpa resolutely said he will go last. There was no question about it even if I wanted to be the one. So I took 4^th place, Yok and Gram did rock paper scissors. Yok lost so Gram went after Black.”

“Hmmm….” White started to play with Sean’s hair.

“Sean, I was falling in love with you too. I was very close to telling you the truth but I feared you would be mad and want nothing to do with me. Also, you are the first man I love. I might have been a little freaked out. I always knew I was a Bi, but I only ever fell in love once and it was a girl. Now, I am not sure if I truly loved her or if I attempted to fill the gap from losing Black or because at that time I needed her.”

“Love?”

“Mmn…What?”

“You said the first man I love… present time.”

White face turned red and he pushed Sean away ready to stand up, but Sean brought him back to his lap and cupped his face.

“I love you, White.”

Sean leaned in and pecked White’s lips. He checked White and search for any sight of discomfort or rejection when he didn’t find it he kissed him and White kissed back. It was salty from all those tears but delicious. White returned his hand to Sean’s hair and kept himself steady by resting his other hand on Sean’s shoulder. It wasn’t necessary. Sean was holding him strongly pressing their bodies together. They were kissing, sucking their lips and soon Sean bullied his tongue into White’s mouth, who happily welcomed him. Their tongues played with each other and they started to pant. They were lacking the air and were forced to stop.

Sean was stroking White’s back and tightened the hug again.

“We should slow down. We have to get to know each other again. I wasn’t sure how it will be after all that time but now when I have you in my arms like this… it’s perfect and right like it should be… White? Can you be my boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Damn, I have to ask Black for his permission. I mean, he knows about my feelings for you but I owe it to him.”

“He knows about my feelings for you too. I am happy you became good friends but I am not certain he will give it to you. As you know we are both very stubborn.”

They laughed.

“White, thank you for teaching me patience, how to think about myself and others, and thank you for showing me I can fight while trying to stay safe.”

“Sean, thank you for waiting for me.”

They kissed lightly again before separating and allowing Gumpa to finish this carousel of patching things.

“Here have some water, you must be dehydrated from all the crying… First of all, thank you for staying safe. I won’t apologize to you because I am not ready for you to forgive me. I am still angry at myself for losing my temper and you were pushed to the seclusion. You were right about things you said.”

“No, I wasn’t, I didn’t know back then.”

“I guessed correctly. You found out about my military background, about me losing someone important, and why I cannot get caught.”

“Yes, I am sorry. You don’t have to say anything. I won’t tell anyone. I know you would be imprisoned for life.”

“I will tell them someday, but I am not prepared to talk about it… White, I am incredibly proud of you. How far you came alone. I have each of your articles hung on the wall. I will show you later. I am delighted about everything you accomplished. I am forever in your debt for all the time you saved our asses.”

White was tearing up again, he wrapped his arms around Gumpa’s waist and buried his face into his broad chest. Gumpa rested his hand on his head and once again stroked his hair.

“Thank you, Hia.”

“All right, no one is going home tonight. We are having a slumber party downstairs. Black said he is not up to it and wants to be with you alone but I still want to offer you to join us.”

“Slumber party from you sounds weird… Hia, we have more things to talk about with Black, and all this was too much for me I am very tired so if you don’t mind I would like to go with Black. But I am hungry, we can eat together before we leave.”

“Okay, but I don’t think you understand. You are staying here. You and Black can sleep in Sean’s room or mine if you want, but we need you to stay with us. It’s kind of necessary for us to see you in person for a bit. It might be safer for you to stay with us too.”

“Hmm. But I will need to pick up something tomorrow.”

“You are not alone anymore. You can choose now who to send for your errands. Are White’s Angels coming to see you?”

“Who?”

“Nuch, Namo, and Eugene… they are like Charlie’s Angels.”

“That’s funny, but it's not far from the truth. They are my Angels but the meaning is different than Charlie’s Angels.”

White laughed loud. Gumpa joined him and they went down looking for food.

While Gumpa was with White. Sean took Black aside. He was concerned. They became buddies, their bond was strong. Because of White, they found a way how to communicate and understood their behavior of the past and present. They trusted each other. Sean became greedy, he wanted both Black and White in his life. Even if they talked about his feelings they never crossed the topic of what would occur after they find White.

“Really, now? Can’t it wait? I know it went well with White, I could feel he is happy.”

“I don’t think I can wait. I confessed to White and asked him to be my boyfriend. He accepted, but I want to ask you for permission to date your brother. I promise to never hurt him.”

“I know you won’t. Damn… I hoped it wouldn’t be so fast. I was somehow preparing myself but it still sucks. To be fair I would be like that towards anybody. It makes me feel good that I will not be alone in White’s overprotectiveness.”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you forget about Nuch, Eugene, and especially Namo? I am sure they will give you hell, I am the least of your problems. I might even pity you but I won’t. I don’t like it but I will tolerate it because I know you will do anything for White and make him happy.”

Sean was so focused on Black he did forget about girls. It was making him sick to the stomach. He was positive he can handle Nuch and Eugene but Namo was scary and if he added their past. Life is not easy for him and his love life.

“So you are giving me permission?”

“NO. White is an adult and doesn’t need someone to do that. I acknowledge your relationship and I will try not to interfere much, but remember friend, I will without a doubt choose White over you every time. Just take it slow, okay? And maybe don’t be intimate in front of me or close to me… Why are you blushing? What did you do? I take it all back. I hate you…”

Sean avoided the first strong hit directed at him but let Black smack his head with a second much weaker swing.

“I will choose White too. Thanks, Bro…”

“Don’t bro me. Let’s go back inside. I think they are coming down.”

🌈

Black and White settled for the night or the couple hours that are left till morning in Sean’s room. The rest spread mats downstairs and all slept together. Twins are holding hands and staring into each other's eyes. They have so much to catch on. Neither knew how to start.

“P’Black? How are you doing?”

“Now that I have you great. Is this what you wanted to ask?”

“Are you in contact with Tod?”

“Nope, the last time I saw him was when he woke up from the coma.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I did, I was going to kill him. I had a gun and all. I was furious he pulled you into this. I couldn’t do it in the end.”

“His reasons were shitty but I am glad he did. Because of that I was exposed to the truth and found confidence to free myself… I heard he went abroad.”

“You didn’t leave him much choice. You destroyed all his illegal business while he was in lying in the hospital bed.”

“You guys helped. I touched only those that were lawbreaking. He still had some completely clean companies. Sure he wouldn’t be making big money but definitely above average income.”

“I was surprised he managed to have that and how we were able to cooperate since we weren’t in contact. Who was leaking you things?”

“Harbinger helped one of the people that work for Gumpa. At first, I didn’t know he is connected to him, not until he told me and offered to help me, to keep me updated. He didn’t know much because Gumpa is very secretive but it gave me an idea and I knew how the gang operates. I will have to apologize to Gumpa for stealing one of his guys… Phi, are you sure you are okay with how things end up with Tod?”

“What are you implying, White?”

“He was your best friend.”

“Was, is the right term.”

“He loved you and I don’t mean just as a friend. I could tell.”

“I loved him too, you know we did try but it didn’t work out. It was too late. Our view of the world and what is right and wrong changed too much. We missed the timing. Now that I think about it if we dared to try sooner none of that crap would happen. Maybe in the future, we can have adult conversations without threatening to harm one another, but us being friends again or lovers I can’t see that happening.”

White leaned closer to his twin and Black wrapped his arm around him.

“So White, tell me. What is your plan and how are we taking our parents down?”

“That depends on how far are you willing to go and how much are you comfortable letting out on the surface.”

🌈

“I must say, White. If you didn’t tell us where to find the cameras we wouldn’t find it.” Gram said when he returned with Yok and Dan from the warehouse.

“When did you manage to install it? We were keeping eyes on the place and didn’t spot you.” Dan joined Gram’s amazement.

“I had it there for over a week.”

“What?” Most of them were shocked.

“That is longer than I knew about the kidnapping, You couldn’t possibly know that before me,” Gumpa stated.

“I planned to expose myself and I knew our parents will try something. They wouldn’t risk trying to contact me directly. I betted on kidnapping. I waited on who will approach me. And I chose the warehouse. True, I manipulated them to think they did. I offered area and criteria under which I am willing to meet and that warehouse was the only option.”

“Damn, you are smart. My head is hurting just by listening.” Yok smiled and petted White.

“Can you tell us your plan? Remember what I told you yesterday? You have us now.” Gumpa rested his hand on White’s shoulder.

“We have to wait. We are going big and need everybody.” Black answered instead of White.

“For what?” Sean asked although he had a pretty clear idea about whom is Black talking about.

“Us I presume.”

Nuch stepped in with Namo and Eugene in tow walking hand in hand. Yok cheered, he finally has his clarity and was about to say something but Dan put a hand on his boyfriend’s mouth and silenced him. The girls swiftly made their way to White and group-hugged him with Namo staying in the embrace the longest.

“Now that we are all here. I planned to release a series of articles and tweets. I had most of it written and I have a schedule for it all. I will need you girls to coordinate all of that, manage all my accounts, and stir it up. We will start with the kidnapping, thanks to you there are even more videos and photos than I anticipated. Girls and Gram can you help me sort it out and prepare more tweets?”

“Of course.”

“Now comes the tricky part. White said he has many proofs about Dad but it all lacks impact.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sean, to destroy them we need people. Society needs to unite and talk aloud. For that we need impact. But the trouble doesn’t end here. I don’t have any solid proof about Mom, just some circumstantial evidence and interviews but it’s all hearsay.”

“Twins, I can hear it in your voices and see a fire in your eyes. You figured something out, didn’t you? What is it?”

“Yes, Hia. We will play our version of Parents Trap.” White smiled.

“What does that mean?” Yok was confused.

“I will go see Dad as White and make him talk and White will go see Mom as me.”

“Didn’t you say they are bad news? Can you both handle that?”

“Don’t worry, Sean. That’s why we are switching places. Now that we are together and we have all of you they don’t have that big power over us. Black should be fine with Dad and I with Mom.”

“Won’t they know? You switched?”

“We will have to risk it, Gram. We will coach each other. I am certain Dad won’t, Mom might but it doesn’t matter. Because that is not all we are doing.” Black explained.

“I thought so, this is all about the impact. You still need the proof about the judge.”

“Correct, Hia. We plan to do it all at the same time so they won’t be able to gang on us and while we are with them you have to sneak into Mom’s house and search for evidence.” Black continued.

“She has it at home under her watch, there is no other place. I am positive. I was only able to break in once and I couldn’t find anything. I didn’t know where to hunt.” White described his past attempt.

“I do, I will tell you everything and how to break in,” Black explained.

“But about the meeting. You are planning to tape the conversation, right? It won’t be as easy as with the kidnappers.”

“Exactly, P’Dan. That’s why we need to start immediately. Our parents are not easy but predictable. We will install the bugs today. Dad will not meet me anywhere but his house.” White’s voice sounded excited.

“And Mom has only 2 restaurants she trusts. Gram and Nuch you are having fancy dinner tonight, same as you Sean and Namo.”

“What?” Sean and Namo protested.

“Can I see you in private, White?” Namo pierced the twins with her eyes.

“I’m sorry Namo, we don’t have time for that. And White said you can use it as an opportunity to talk. Everything will take place at once. We will have to split. Unfortunately, the place is filthy as our Mother. Whoever will go there will have to be invisible. The same-gender couple will not work and Eugene was in both places. Someone who works for a judge could be there.”

“Black is right, Love. I had one unpleasant experience eating with their Mother. She wanted to use me to bring Black back to her.”

“And I brought her to the other one for our anniversary. I was careless… That is how Mom found out about Eugene.”

“But, no offense Sean, does it have to be him?” Namo didn’t want to give up.

“It has to, I understand your logic. Sean, Yok, and I will break into the house. Gram will be back up for Black and Dan for White. Girls we will need you to stay here and replace me to keep a watch if something goes bad and coordinate plan B if necessary. What about your Dad’s house.”

“We can sneak in, that is not a big deal. Dad’s ego is enormous, he is convinced he is untouchable, and he is not as careful as Mom about concealing the tracks.” White answered little ashamed.

🌈

Black had a hard time keeping his wrath at bay. Things White told him were replaying in his head. All he wanted to do was punch their father unconscious. He has to calm down. He won't be the one to ruin their plan, all the effort White put into it. He has to become a docile, intimidated boy. White told him he should cry. It would be impossible before, now he only needs to remember the loss of White that he inflicted and the reunion.

“Dad, how could you do this? What if something happened to me? What if I was hurt?”

“You brought it upon yourself, son. And now you caused problems for your brother too? I don’t know what you and Black are planning but it is not going to work. You have to come back to me.”

“I won’t. I will never come back.”

“Do you think your brother will want you? He will just use you and soon realize how big of a burden you are, a pathetic stand-in for a man playing hero. What a joke.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Don’t be in denial. Black doesn’t care about you.”

“You are wrong.” Adul slapped Black. White told him that is what their Dad hates most. Someone implying he is wrong.

“White I am losing my patience. Should I remind you of your therapy sessions in Russia? We have a basement here too. Regrettably, it will not be as cold.”

That’s it. Black was successful, now he needs to act as a shattered little boy and let his father describe the horrors White went through in Russia. It was better or worse than they imagined. Their father enjoyed the detailed description and said more than they anticipated, he also mentioned Thailand and how hopeless people are here, so easy to manipulate to play by his rules.

Black was sick. He was disgusted. His vision was getting blurry, he won’t be able to take it any longer. He wants to kill that guy. Luckily he heard the bell ring 4x times. That was a signal from Gram. Things on Mom’s end are finished. Now he needs to disappear and made Dad run after him so Gram can sneak in and take what they recorded. Black still has to act like White, they need a lead start before Dad realizes he fell into their trap. Black decided to push Adul and run.

Each step was heavy, he was afraid and nervous. It was so long since he faced their Mother. He couldn’t help but feel a little thrill. His heart was beating fast. Methinee as awful as she might be is still his Mother, he missed her. White smiled but he can’t do that. He needs to be strong as Black, distant and harsh to her.

“I didn’t think you would have the guts to show up. Didn’t you say you will never see me after you walked out on me? What happened to your resolution.”

“Circumstances changed, you went after White. I had no illusion about you but how could you put White in danger like that?”

“What are you talking about? What happens to White? Did you mess up again and got your brother in trouble?”

“Don’t pretend, Mother. Your kidnappers were very talkative. You should have found someone better. They were very sharing about the female judge who hired them and paid them in advance. You are losing your touch, Mrs. Judge.”

“White deserved that. How could he try to attack his parents after everything we gave him and what we did for him?”

“Are you joking?”

“It’s all your fault, you are corrupting him. White is supposed to lead our nation. He is our hope, he will make our dreams come true. We will own this country.”

“White will never agree to this, he will never be your marionette.”

“You are delusional. White is just confused right now. Everything will be good soon.”

“And how are you going to manage that? Do you think he will trust you and listen to you?”

“You don’t know your father. He will take care of that, he has his ways. We are going to separate you once more. You are a nuisance for White, you are a burden and only slowing him down.”

She continued for a while with her hurtful words, trying to undermine his determination, confidence, and ideals. White was close to tears, was this what Black had to endure? White needed his brother, he desperately needed to hug him.

“You are so horrendous, Mom.”

White started to cry. Their plan was the opposite for Mom, they wanted her to recognize White. She would never follow Black but she will White. This will give Dan a chance to take the recording and follow them in case White needs help.

“White? Is that you? Did you two switch? But how? You weren’t like yourself.”

“And how would you know that? You don’t know anything about me.”

“Let me explain. I just said it for Black to understand. I didn’t mean it. He is holding you back.”

“Stop, I heard enough. Goodbye.”

White stood up and quickly left the restaurant. He hoped Sean and the others had plenty of time to find the evidence. As they plotted she frantically followed him to stop him. White was more affected than he thought. He couldn’t hear what she is telling him, he could only feel her strong painful grip on his wrist.

“Ma’am, you need to let go. People are watching.” Dan’s words snapped her from her panic. She looked around.

“This is not the end.” She threatened them and left.

Black and Gram were the first to arrive. Gumpa, Sean, and Yok followed close by. White and Dan were the last. As soon as White spotted Black he hugged him. White promised him before that he will not cry because of her and what he will hear. So he made sure he didn’t show him any tears. Both needed to be close, they felt each other’s anxiety and fear.

“What? Did someone die?”

When the twins let go of their embrace Black was questioning the gloomy atmosphere in the garage and their grim faces when they all reunited.

“Dan and Gram told us…”

“Yok, we told you how our parents are.”

“But the reality is much more hideous than we thought.” Gumpa forced both twins into his arms.

“Are you guys all right?” Sean wanted to do the same, his boyfriend and his kind of best friend are hurting.

“Seriously I don’t even know how things went between White and Judge. How did you manage to pass all… wait do you have a group chat without me and White? Never mind, don’t give us these pity faces.”

“We are not all right, but we will be. Sean, did you find what we need?”

“Yes, exactly at the place Black told us.”

“Good, let’s get to work.”

🌈

BREAKING NEWS

“Grey Harbinger of hope kidnapped”       “ROL saved the Harbinger”    “Watch the videos of the kidnapping” “

Kidnapping ordered by the high ranking judge and politician.”

“More photos of kidnapping”      “Listen to conversations with kidnappers. Who is the judge in talk?”

“Proofs uncovered about ex-diplomat and judge”

“Judge taking bribes”                    “Judge turns blind eyes to brutal criminals”

“Judge lets murderer walk free”                “Ex-Diplomate stealing money”

“Politician plays favorite, what is the point of examination if the results are determined”

      “Ex-Diplomate purposely hiding truth and lying”         “How are Judge and Politician connected”

“Who is the ex-diplomat and judge? Read the theories with us!”

“Identity of ex-diplomat and judge revealed”                     “How cruel parents can be”

“Seriousness of child abuse”       “Witnesses come forward about the mistreatment of twins”

“Is Thailand only playboard for them?”

“Wiretappings leaks – hear on your own the twisted mind of sick parents”

“Don’t be afraid to speak about your mental health!”

“Twins are connected to the ROL group of activists”         “Twins parents connected to cartels”

“Exclusive interview with twins”               “Judge loses the job”      “Let’s teach the evil parents justice” “

Ex-Diplomate brought in for questioning to ministry”

“Judge face the consequences of her wrongdoing”

“JUSTICE'S BIG WIN!!!”

And many more articles were floating around and stirring things up. They achieved their goal.

🌈

“Do you want to go see them, talk to them?”

“I don’t know, Phi. I think it will be good for us to face them, but it’s unnecessary to speak to them. They don’t deserve a word from us. They are aware of their loss.”

“I agree and we will go see both of them together.”

“Is this what you wanted to talk about, P’Black?”

“No, I wanted to ask you what silly thing you are planning with Sean. I know you are cooking something up about me. I am not stupid.”

“Hmmm, promise you won’t be mad.”

“No.”

“Phi!!!”

“Okay, okay… what is it?”

“There is this cute girl I work with. She is the editor of an independent news page. We want to set you up for a date.”

“Nope, under no circumstances.”

“But I don’t want you to be alone. Look how happy Sean is making me and there are couples all around you.”

“Gumpa is single.”

“That is different. He lost his lover at mil… I can’t tell you about it.”

“White, listen to me. Right now I can’t be with anybody. I am not ready. You said you needed to learn how to rely on yourself. I need to learn how to accept someone. Tod, Eugene… we never had a chance. I loved them, they loved me there is no question about it, but I never knew how to receive love. Except for your love, I never let it pass my armor. Hell, it took me years to accept guys and open up to them. If it weren’t for you our friendship wouldn’t be so strong. And…damn that’s hard to admit, my best buddy wouldn’t be Sean…stop giggling you lovestruck moron. I need time… and once I digest this new way of life trust me I won’t need help with matchmaking.”

“I understand. I love you, P’Black. I am so happy we are together.”

“Save the L word for the other hopelessly in love idiot….but I love you too, my dear baby brother.”

“What happened? Why is White crying? Are you crying too, Black? What did I miss?.... I hate when you are ignoring me…. Let me join the hug.”

“Get away, Sean. Don’t come near me.”

“P’Black, let your best friend hug you.”

“You said I was your best friend? Ohhh….come here, buddy.”

“White, how could you? Sean, I swear I will kill you. Go on your date already and leave me alone.”

“No, this is more fun. Sean let’s have dinner home with Phi.”

“Yes, darling.”

“SEAN!!!”

“What? I can’t say no to him.”

“You are so sissy.”

“Black, like you are any better with White.”

“What did you both say?”

“Nothing” Black and Sean answered White.

“Okay, let’s order some food.” Black surrendered.

They laughed loudly, it was very common. Laughter and relaxation always filled Black’s place. White moved in with Black but they are starting to look for something bigger. They didn’t discuss it but they silently agreed, the place needs to be big enough and fit all three of them with space for White’s Angels' frequent visits. Namo and Sean cleared everything up and mended their relationship but the girls kept observing Sean. Black was correct they were more challenging than him.

The End