Chapter Text
Chapter 14
An Adventure
“Fuck, Babydoll”, Bucky groaned and pressed you even tighter against the hard surface. “You’ve got to be quiet.”
You could only mewl something incomprehensible, your breath feeling hot against your own face as it bounced off of the wall in front of you.
This was not what you had expected when he had suggested to show you the rest of the clubhouse.
“Damn, you feel too good, baby”, Bucky breathed into your hair, thrusting forward again, his cock disappearing between your legs with a vulgar sound. “So fucking wet and tight, as if you were made for me.”
Trying to muffle your moan against your arm, you pushed back, feeling his hips press against your ass.
The way he was sliding inside of you, hitting just that spot with every thrust, was enough for you to blur out the laughter and chatter coming from the main room of the club house.
‘Wanna see the rest of the clubhouse, babygirl?’, Bucky had asked, only ten minutes earlier. ‘You’ve never seen anything of it but the main room with the bar area.’
You should have known better, in hindsight, than to assume that this had been an innocent suggestion.
The first night you had spent at Danny’s as a real, serious couple, Bucky hadn’t let you move further away from him than about three inches. His hand had felt huge around yours as he had pulled you out of the car and right into his side, winding his arms around you and kissing you against his car.
Inside, he had pulled you into the booth next to him, arm tightly around your shoulders, burying his face in your hair about every five minutes.
There was something proud in Daisy’s face, as if she deserved all the credit for that (well, maybe she deserved some credit).
You had had to practically force him to let go off you with both hands so that he could eat his burger without making a mess.
That night alone, the feeling of him wanting to show off your relationship was enough to make you feel as if you were high on some new kind of drug.
That very night, you also found out that moaning ‘I love you, Bucky’ into his ear during sex was enough to make him come.
Almost instantly.
The next week you had been shopping for groceries together for the first time as a real couple and there had been a youthful side to him that was so beautiful and wonderful that you had almost burst into happy tears at aisle seven. Jumping around you, sneaking stuff into the cart your eyes had only lingered on. At one point he had suddenly appeared behind you and lifted you straight off of your feet with his arms around your body, threatening to dump you into the cart and wheel you around like a kid.
Back then, the strange looks from the other customers hadn’t really bothered you either.
You were just happy.
So was Bucky. And his happiness was truly addictive.
This Thursday he had asked you to come to the club night. You hadn’t needed him to say it, the excited, sparkling look in his eyes had been enough to let you know that you’d be coming as his girlfriend. Officially, and seriously, and all his.
Maybe the sundress had been a little too much, but the temperatures had risen so much over the past days and you had wanted him to be proud to have you.
Again, just the look in his eyes had let you know that you had made the right choice.
Or the wrong one.
Depending on how one would judge the situation you were now in, currently standing in one of the backrooms of the clubhouse (which was filled with bunkbeds, of all things), being pressed face first into the wall, your panties pooling around your ankles and the skirt of your dress lifted over your ass.
With Bucky pounding into you as if this might be his last night on this earth.
His friends only a few feet away.
“Do you feel that?”, his breath felt hot and wet on the side of your face in the stuffy air of the small room. His hand was touching your lower stomach, probing and pressing down slightly. “Feel how fucking deep I’m inside of you? Fuck, you take me so well…”
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you bit the skin on your wrist, trying to keep another high-pitched moan inside.
“I can’t last long, you feel too fucking perfect”, as if to prove his point, he pressed you even tighter into the wall, grinding against your ass. “Please, tell me that it is alright if I cum now, doll-face, please…”
“It’s okay, Bucky”, you whispered, turning your head to the side so that he could hear, your cheek squished against the wall. “You can come, you can –“
He interrupted you with a grunt, grabbing your waist tightly with both hands and pushing into you violently two – three more times and then emptying himself with a long, drawn-out moan.
One of his hands lifted from your torso and curled around your jaw, turning your face even more so that he could give you a deep, sweaty kiss. “Thank you, baby”, he breathed into your mouth.
You rolled your eyes slightly and giggled. As if you had done anything but just stand there and take it. ‘Like a good girl’, his words from two nights before ran through your head and your face flushed even further. “Anytime”, you whispered back.
Bucky stepped away from you enough for you to take a deep breath, finally removing yourself from the wall. You rubbed your hand over your cheek as you turned back to him, hoping that the rough texture of the wallpaper hadn’t left an imprint.
Trying to straighten your hair and wiping some sweat away from your neck, you watched with greedy eyes as he shoved himself back into his pants and closed his belt.
“Do…”, you swallowed through the dryness inside your throat. “Do I look as if I’ve just been fucked?”
His eyes shot up to yours and a smug grin crossed his face. “Yes.”
You slapped his shoulder with an indignant sound. “That’s not funny, Bucky! I don’t wanna embarrass myself…”
“Nothing embarrassing about it”, Bucky argued and pulled your closer, pressing his lips to the tip of your nose (because he knew that that gesture made you feel soft for him, that bastard!). “Most of them will be jealous, if anything.”
You glared at him, but let him trail his lips from your nose to your cheekbone, to your jaw and then your own lips regardless.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t hold out long enough for you to cum, though”, he admitted quietly.
Rolling your eyes again, you laughed lowly. “I don’t mind. Besides, I couldn’t have stayed quiet much longer.”
The smug grin returned. “When I’ve taken you home, I’ll eat you out until you’ve screamed your own throat raw, I promise.”
Pushing against his shoulders, you shook your head with a bright red face. “You are a bad, filthy man, Bucky Barnes”, you mumbled to yourself and straightened your skirt.
“And you love it”, he argued, fingering the seam of your dress as if he wanted to help you.
“You’re lucky I do”, you shot back and finally bent down to retrieve your panties from their place between your feet.
“Here, let me”, Bucky said quickly and bent down as well, faster than you, sweeping up your panties.
Only that he didn’t hand them to you, as you had expected, but shoved them into the back pocket of his jeans.
“Bucky!”, you hissed, trying to reach said pocket, but he stepped to the side swiftly and let his fingers curl around your wrists.
“What?”
“Give me…”, you had to take a deep breath and lower your voice, lest that some of his friends would hear you after all. “Give me my fucking panties back!”
“I’ll give ‘em back later”, he replied and pulled you towards the door.
“I’m not sitting down with your friends… exposed down there”, you insisted, trying to stem your entire body weight against his pull.
Only that it was no use against the strength of his thick arms. “It’ll only be for ten more minutes, then we will head out of here, I promise.”
“We… Bucky, I’ve just arrived ten minutes ago”, you pointed out. “What will the club think when –“
“They will think the right thing”, he pulled you against his chest and wound his arms around you tightly. “They will think that I’ve just let them know that I’m finally with the girl of my dreams, who is also the hottest woman in town, heck, on this planet, maybe, couldn’t help myself and had to fuck her in the backroom and now have enough decency to take her out of here before I fuck her again.”
“You…”, your mouth dropped open as you stared at his face, your face flushing even further (if that was possible). “They will not think that!”
“You wanna bet?”
“You wanna bet that they think Nat’s the hottest woman in town?”, you tried to deflect.
He shrugged nonchalantly. “That’s only because they haven’t seen you naked.”
That earned him another slap to the shoulder. “And you haven’t seen Nat naked.”
“I’m taking an educated guess.”
Opting to change tactics, you got up onto your tiptoes and pressed kisses to his rough jaw and chin. “Can I have my panties back?”, you breathed into his beard, looking up at him and fluttering your eyelashes. “Pretty please?”
A breathless huff escaped him as he shook his head. “Don’t pull shit like that, doll, or I’ll have to fuck you in my car, right in front of the club.”
“Fine”, you grumbled petulantly when you stepped away from him. “But only ten more minutes.”
“I promise. And”, he winked at you, “you can’t tell me that you don’t like the thought of my hand sneaking up and underneath that dress while driving.”
“Filthy!”, you repeated under your breath and, before following him out of the room, asked: “Can I at least have a tissue? I’m leaking.”
______________________
You did end up fucking in his car, not in front of the club, but on the side of the road. Bucky had gotten a little too handsy during the ride and you had liked it a little too much.
And, since it wasn’t safe to drive like that, he had stopped the car.
It was a miracle that no one saw you and called the cops, actually.
“Sorry for getting you into these situations”, Bucky whispered, his lips brushing your collarbone with every word, while trying to catch his breath.
“It’s okay”, you replied, still struggling yourself to come back down from the incredible orgasm you had just had. You straightened your thighs enough for him to slip out of you, but while doing so your back accidentally pressed against the stirring wheel, causing the car to honk.
An embarrassing squeal was pushed out of you, followed by an uncontrollable flood of giggles.
Bucky laughed. “Okay, that’s enough”, as if you weighed nothing, he lifted you off of his lap with his hands underneath your arms and sat you back down in the passenger seat. “Let’s get out of here, before we get arrested after all”, he adjusted his seat, pulling it forward, since he didn’t need the room for your body between himself and the stirring wheel anymore.
Still giggling quietly, you leaned over the middle console to press a kiss to his shoulder. “I’ve never had sex in a car before”, you admitted as he pulled back onto the road.
“Really?”, he shot you an incredulous look. “You’re kinda built for it.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’ve never had sex in a public place either.”
Bucky huffed a laugh. “I’m not sure whether I’d call the club public. But you’ve really had a sheltered, innocent little life up to now, huh?”
“Yup”, you grinned. “And now a big bad biker from the local gang has ruined me.”
It was Bucky’s turn to roll his eyes. “How often do I have to tell you? We are not a gang.”
“I know”, you laughed and let yourself drop back into the seat.
“I have to admit, though”, he started then, voice hoarse and low, “I like the thought of ruining you.” His calloused hand smoothed itself up over your naked thigh once more. “Of being your first, at least in some ways.”
“Don’t start anything again, soldier”, you demanded and shoved his hand away. “I just wanted to let you know that I don’t mind you getting me into ‘these’ situations.”
“Are you sure?”, he glanced at you sideways and you could see some of his insecurities creeping back in.
That he might not be good at this boyfriend thing. That this relationship wouldn’t be enough for you. That he might fuck it all up, because he didn’t know how to behave, what was appropriate and what wasn’t.
“I am”, you affirmed. “I think it’s passionate. Exciting”, you could see his eyes darken as you whispered the last word. “I always wanted to have an exciting life, but thought I’d never get to have one. You know, where every day could be a new adventure.”
Bucky’s eyes crinkled around the corners as he took in your dreamy expression. “An adventure, huh?”
“Yeah”, you nodded. “Romance and adventure, that’s all I want.”
“Well, I can do adventure at least”, he promised and squeezed your thigh affectionately.
___________________________
“Oh, wait, I haven’t put the key back yet”, you called and stepped away from his car, wanting to run for the garage.
Bucky pulled you back easily. “What are you talking about? We’re already running late, do you wanna be even more late for work?”
“The spare key”, you argued, letting it dangle in front of his face. “Y’know, to your house? I haven’t put it back yet.”
You were using the key very frequently by now (which meant almost daily), because Bucky insisted on driving you to work every morning you woke up in his bed, causing him to get to Steve’s shop a little late.
Which meant that he got off work later than you and you used said key to enter his house. It was a well-oiled routine, only that you had forgotten to put the key back into its hiding spot before going to his car.
“What?”, Bucky repeated, as if he had no idea what you were talking about. “Just keep it.” He shrugged and ushered you back towards his car.
“Like…”, you licked your lips nervously. “For today?”
“For as long as you want”, he continued and got into the driver’s seat next to you, so impatient that he even buckled your seatbelt.
“You…”, you blushed, “you want me to have a key to your house?”
He turned, taking in your flushed face. “Baby”, he started and looked into your eyes intently, “if you asked nicely, you could have one of my kidneys. So, yes, you can have a key to my house. I have my own, so does Steve, so you are the only one who’s using it anyway, which means that it makes absolutely no fucking sense for you to keep hiding and retrieving it all the time.”
“Oh, okay”, you mumbled and chewed on your lower lip while he started the car and pulled onto the street.
“You wouldn’t really give me an organ, though, right?”, you wondered then.
He smiled at you from the side. “You wanna try me?”
No, you didn’t.
_________________________
The longer the thing between the both of you went on, the sillier did it seem to you that Bucky was so insecure about your relationship.
He was the perfect boyfriend. As if he somehow knew exactly how to walk that magical line between being an absolute gentleman in public and at the same time a freak in the sheets (or wherever the fancy struck the both of you, really).
The way he held your hand, or put his arm over your shoulders, made you wear his jacket and took you for rides around town on his bike… it was everything you could have ever imagined and more.
Your colleagues were green with envy every time he picked you up from work. Nat had long started to call your break-up a ‘necessary phase’ and even Merle had forgiven Bucky, since you were practically glowing with happiness.
It didn’t even bother you that he did not tell you that he loved you. You weren’t sure whether he didn’t feel it or just thought that he couldn’t feel or say it, and it didn’t even matter.
You were both happy and you felt loved. From past experience, you knew that this was far more valuable than words.
Your only wish was that there might be a way for him to feel how you were happy with your relationship.
That he was enough for you, more than enough, actually, and that you wanted him just the way his was.
Past, trauma, flaws and all.
______________________
It had been stupid of him to think that you could just fix him like that, Bucky realised that about a month into your relationship.
He had no right to put that much pressure on you – maybe even on himself – but… it had all been going so well lately that he had just hoped… hoped that all of that was behind him.
Until he woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and memories, wanting to tear his skin off of his bones and forget.
You were lying beside him, snoring deeply, not even rattled by the lurch he had made while sitting up. It was probably his fault, considering how thoroughly he had fucked you earlier that night.
The fact that not even that thought was enough to warm his aching chest spoke volumes. He wanted to reach out, to brush the hair out of your face, but he couldn’t.
Because his hands were shaking too badly.
Because he could still remember them being drenched with blood.
Instead, he got up, took a cold shower, drank a gallon of water and went back to his bedroom.
Staring down at your sleeping form while shivering with cold, he resigned himself to his fate with a defeated sigh and yanked his blanket off of the bed as carefully as he could, so that he wouldn’t startle you, and lay down on the floor.
_______________________
Bucky woke up about two hours later when someone was pulling on his blanket.
“Wha –“, he mumbled, sleep being pushed from his mind, and sat up in a flash, grabbing for his attacker.
His attacker, who yawned heartily and pushed his hands away weakly.
“What are you doing, babydoll?”, Bucky asked as he blinked into the semi-darkness and watched you crawl under his blanket, lying down on the hard floor next to him.
“’m looking for my man”, you mumbled sleepily and inched closer until you managed to wind your arms around his torso and bury your head against his chest, nose brushing the scars over his shoulder as if it was nothing. “Ah, there he is”, you sighed.
“You should get back into bed”, Bucky tried to argue, feeling stiff and stupid with you on the floor, a perfectly fine bed right next to you both.
“Nah, floor’s good”, you muttered and shuffled closer, your entire body pressing into his.
“I don’t want you to sleep on the floor, baby”, Bucky whispered, but couldn’t help himself as he hugged you to himself tightly.
He was home.
You were here.
He was safe now.
“I don’t want you to sleep on the floor either”, you yawned again. “But life isn’t perfect sometimes.”
“Doll, I –“
“Shut up, Sergeant”, you grumbled then, pinching his side, causing him to jump slightly. “I’m tired. If you can’t sleep, feel free to scratch my back a little.”
Bucky couldn’t help but choke out a laugh, burying his face against your hair.
____________________
You woke him again half an hour before your alarm was set to go off.
Bucky groaned when you jerked at his shoulder, waking him up roughly. “What is it?”, he grumbled, only slowly realising that he had actually managed to fall back into a deep, blessedly dreamless sleep.
That was unusual for these kinds of nights. Usually, he’d either be unable to fall asleep again at all, or he’d be tossing and turning all night from more nightmares.
Instead, he had just… slept.
Peacefully and soundly, with you in his arms.
Just like he had that first night you had shared a bed.
“I have to get to work in ninety minutes”, you whispered and swung a leg over his hips. “If I’m going to be tired as shit all day because I had to wake up with you gone and had to send out a search party to find you…”
Bucky’s hands settled on your waist instinctually as you sat down in his lap, biting his tongue not to point out that he had literally only been three feet away from you.
“… then you should make it worth my while”, you finished and ground down against his already half hard morning wood.
“Are you going to make it up to me, soldier?”
“Yeah”, Bucky breathed mindlessly while aiding your movements, his eyes trained on the sight of your folds slipping over his cock, back and forth, covering it in your wetness. “Anything for you, babygirl.”
But, before you could sheathe yourself onto his cock, he yanked his hands forward, taking your hips with them.
“What…?”, you made in surprise and moaned as you felt the delicious way your cunt was dragging over the hair on his stomach.
“I want you to ride my face”, Bucky breathed as he pulled you upwards, until your thighs were on either side of his face. “And then I want to see you ruin yourself on my cock.”
“You’ve already ruined me, Bucky”, you moaned when he buried his tongue inside of you with a deep groan.
_______________
Out of breath and covered in sweat, you were still lying on the floor about twenty minutes later.
Bucky was cradling you in his arms, pushing the sweaty hair out of your face and looking at you with wonder in his eyes.
“I’ve talked about it with Steve and Nat and a few other people from the club, but I can’t remember whether I’ve ever said it to you”, he started in a whisper. “I just want you to know that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
You huffed a sleepy laugh. “Y’know, there are people who might say that post-coital confessions don’t count”, you grinned at him. “Most of your blood isn’t in your brain right now, after all.”
Reluctantly, Bucky smiled back at you. “It’s currently rushing back, so don’t worry about it. I…”, he swallowed, serious once more, but his throat felt too dry. “I’m sorry that you had to sleep on the floor with me.”
“I didn’t have to”, you replied, brows furrowing. “I wanted to.”
“But you were pissed that –“
“First of all”, you interrupted him, “I wasn’t really pissed, I was just trying to guilt-trip you into sex.”
“You know that that wouldn’t have been necessary”, he argued.
“Second”, you continued, ignoring him, “I didn’t say that I was pissed because I had to sleep on the floor. I was slightly annoyed, maybe, because I woke up to find you gone. Do you know how worried that makes me? Next time, either wake me up or just take me with you to the floor.”
He blinked back at you in surprise. “You mean…?”
You just shrugged nonchalantly. “You carry me from the couch to the bedroom when I’m asleep all the time. I’m confident that you can manage to get me on the floor too.”
“But…”
“Bucky”, you sounded exasperated, but still playful. “I’m way younger than you, so, if you can manage to sleep on the floor a couple of nights a month with your ancient back, so can I.”
“It’s not just about sleeping on the floor”, Bucky felt a little lost. Could you really not understand?
Also, had you just called him ancient?
You sighed and took his face in your hands, letting your thumbs sweep over his beard affectionately. “I know. But I don’t care. I just want to be there for you, in whatever way you need me.”
“I’m a fucking mess, doll, a fucking insane mess. It shouldn’t be your task to take care of me”, Bucky’s throat felt too tight at the tender look in your eyes.
“It’s not a task”, you shot back, looking a little indignant. “It’s my pleasure. I don’t care about your sanity, I care about you. I love you.”
For a moment, he was worried that he might burst into tears.
Shrugging again, you cuddled closer. “And if you don’t want me to sleep on the floor with you, we can try other things. Go downstairs, have you fix some stuff in the garage, keeping your hands busy. Make a snack. Take your bike out for a spin. Look at that beautiful little spot you showed me last week when the stars are out. I’m sure we’ll find something that’ll work.”
“You…you are?”, subconsciously, he pulled you closer.
You nodded. “Yeah. Whatever we do, I just want to be with you. So, no hiding on the floor all on your own.”
“No hiding”, Bucky repeated and kissed the top of your head.
The lump that had constricted around his throat seemed to slide down, clenching around his heart before releasing into a feeling of warmth.
Warmth spilling out inside his chest.
This warmth… it felt awfully close to something like love.
He didn’t have to worry about you being disappointed in the fact that he was not fixed simply by entering a relationship. You had never expected that.
All you wanted was for him to let you help him, to stay with you, beside you, even when things got rough.
Jesus, you were so fucking perfect.
And you were all his.
You’d both find a way to make it easier for him, he was starting to grow sure of that. Your faith in him was contagious.
And one day, when he was doing better, he’d give you the life that you deserved.
________________________
“What do you mean, for your ‘own use’”, you blinked at your landlady dumbly, not quite believing that you had heard her right.
You should have gotten suspicious that she had requested a meeting, but you couldn’t have imagined what she wanted to complain about this time.
For the last two months you had barely been in your apartment for much longer than it took for you to let some fresh air in, do some laundry and clean the place.
You spent almost every night at Bucky’s, so there shouldn’t be any noise complaints or shit like that.
“I said I’m terminating your rental contract because I need the apartment for my own use”, she repeated.
“But…”, your mouth was opening and closing, like a fish stranded on land. “This states that you want me out by next month”, you waved the paper with the notice she had just handed you around helplessly. “You can’t do this. I have rights.”
“It’s a termination of contract for extraordinary reasons”, she argued.
God, you were getting so pissed off by her smug expression, sitting there on her pink couch and staring up at you as if she were the king of this castle, you hoped that you wouldn’t slap her before this was over (and give her a real reason to kick you out).
“In that case, the ‘extraordinary’ should be standing in the termination and be specified”, you insisted. You weren’t a lawyer, but you had heard something like this on TV show once.
You just hoped that it applied to your state.
Or even country.
“I could do that, I could even take it to court if you want to be difficult, but I thought you’d prefer it if we settled this between ourselves”, she answered innocently.
“Why… why would I prefer that?”, you wanted to know.
“Just…”, she shrugged, inspecting her red nails (way too long for a woman in her late seventies, if she were to ask your opinion), “Looking at the people you surround yourself with, I would have guessed that they don’t want the attention from the law.”
Steam almost came out of your ears at that. Your hands were shaking with anger, balling themselves into fists and crumbling the paper in your hand.
You knew of course that your landlady disapproved of your boyfriend and his friends, of the sound of one or several bikes thundering down the street when Bucky or the club picked you up for a day out. You also knew that Bucky and the club had… a certain effect of people.
Despite the fact that most of them were literal puppies on the inside, the group of bikers was intimidating, with their heavy boots, dark leather jackets and loud machines. More than once had you seen people quickly avert their eyes or jump out of the way when you were strolling through town and holding Bucky’s hand.
Once or twice, guys who had hit on you had literally ran away as soon as Bucky got into view and put his arm around you. You didn’t mind, not really, considering the fact that you knew it was all just the wrong kind of perception. The club had never done anything to deserve this kind of behaviour, nor would they ever to anything (minus the whole situation with Rumlow and his group, but come on, that was Rumlow…)
It was just prejudices.
But to suggest that they might be involved in criminal activities… Sam was still working with the VA. Clint and Laura were expecting their third child. Steve and Bucky had been rewarded with medals for their achievements in the war.
There was actually still a medal waiting for Bucky, if he’d care enough to press the issue.
And this old hag dared to –
“What are the extraordinary reasons?”, you gritted through clenched teeth.
“At first, it was just the noise complaints, but now I feel unsafe in my own home, considering your… circle of friends.”
That was enough for you to no longer be able to contain your anger. “You know what? Fuck you!”, you hissed and threw the ball of paper in her direction.
The old lady flinched in surprise.
“I’ll be out of this fucking place by the end of the week, you old …”, you wanted to call her some ugly names, but were too well-brought up for that. She was an elderly woman, after all. “Maybe, next time you decide to rent out, you shouldn’t be so nosy. If your own life is too damn boring, get a cat, or start a group for playing bridge or some shit like that.”
With that, you stormed out of her place.
___________________________
Bucky was already home by the time you reached his house, still flushed with anger.
Stronger than the anger, however, was the panic that had set in as soon as the adrenaline-level inside your veins had dropped down.
“What happened?”, Bucky asked as soon as he saw your red face and wide eyes, cupping your head in his hands and pulling your closer. “Shit, babygirl, you are burning up? Is everything okay?”
“I… I just…”, you stammered, trying to organize your thoughts, “I was so angry that I walked here and I –“
“You walked?”, Bucky repeated, pulling your face away from his chest to look at you sternly. “We talked about this. If something comes up – anything – missing the bus or stuff like that, you’re supposed to call me.”
“It’s not about that, Buck”, you insisted and pushed his hands away, pacing up and down the kitchen restlessly. “I just fucked up, I fucked up so badly…”
“What, did you lose your job?”, he asked, following your frantic steps with his eyes. “Did you kill someone? Do you finally need that kidney?”
“This isn’t funny!”, you called throwing your hands in the air. “You know that I had a meeting with my landlady today.”
“Did you kill her?”
“Bucky, I swear to God –“, you voice rose dangerously.
“Fine, fine”, he raised his hands in a defensive motion. “What did the witch want?”
“She wants me out by the end of the month”, you whispered and wound your arms around yourself tightly. “And I got so angry and then I told her I’d be out by the end of the week and now I –“
“Hang on, hang on”, Bucky interrupted you, taking you into his arms again. “Why does she want you out? Why were you so angry?”
“Be-because…”, you inhaled a shuddering breath, “she… she insinuated that she didn’t feel safe with me living there anymore, because of you and the club and she implied that you all might be criminals and…”
“Oh, doll”, Bucky interrupted you softly and smoothed his hands over your head, “did you feel the need to defend my honour?”
“Fuck you, Barnes”, you hissed and punched his shoulder. “This is serious, I’m practically homeless! I don’t have anywhere to go.”
His brows furrowed at that. “Of course, you have”, he argued. “You can always stay here.”
You rolled your eyes. “And where would all my stuff go, Buck?”, you asked, annoyed that he was still not taking your plight seriously.
He shrugged. “I’ve got a spare room upstairs. Or we could rent a container.”
Your expression turned thoughtful at that. “Yeah, you’re right.” You pulled your phone out of your pocket. “A week is too short a notice, but if I could leave my stuff someplace else and sleep here in the meantime, I could find a new apartment in a month or two.” Already tapping around on your phone, wanting to go onto the next best website to find a new place to live, you didn’t see how Bucky’s face fell.
“Or”, he started and plucked the phone from your hands, ignoring your indignant expression as he held it up and out of your reach, “you could just stay here.”
You blushed. “You…you mean…?”
“For good”, he explained.
Your thoughts kicked into motion again, racing away at two-hundred miles per hour. “We’ve only been back together for two months, Bucky”, you muttered weakly. “That’s… that’s insane. I can’t just move in with you after nine weeks –“
“Why the hell not?”, he set the phone down and took your hands. “Who says we can’t?”
“Everyone will”, you insisted. “We don’t know each other well enough for that yet.”
“You know me better than anyone, except maybe for Steve, and let’s be honest, that’s only because he has a twenty-eight-year-long head-start”, he pulled you closer and you went weakly.
“Bucky”, you tried warmly. “There’s so much we haven’t experienced with each other yet. I mean, what do we do when the honeymoon phase stops? When you have to use the bathroom after I’ve done number two? Or after I’ve gotten my period? Christ, you’ve never even met me on my period, because I’ve been taking the pill through the –“
“Calm down, babydoll”, Bucky breathed and pulled your hands up, kissing your knuckles tenderly while looking into your eyes. “We’ll get through all that shit. We’ve got two bathrooms. And you can always just give me a heads-up after using one of them. When you get your period, I’ll get you as much sweet stuff and give you as many belly rubs as you want, until you feel better.”
You huffed an incredulous laugh. “I’m not a dog.”
“And once you feel better, we’ll put a towel down and make a mess”, he winked at you cheekily.
“Hang on”, you blinked at him frantically. “Did you really just suggest that I move into your house for good? And then suggested that I should just… give you a heads-up after taking a particularly stinky shit?”
Bucky didn’t even laugh, he just looked back at you almost indignantly.
“Did you really just glaze over the fact that I suggested period sex in a super sweet way?”, he shot back.
________________________
In the end, your reservations and fears were no match against Bucky’s arguments and charm.
And you had to admit to yourself, the thought of just living with him really did sound too good to be true.
Waking up with him every morning, going to sleep with him every night.
Actually, when you thought about it like that, you had already been living with him.
You would sell your old couch and TV, you decided quietly. You had taken those from the old apartment you had shared with your ex, after all, so there would be no tears shed when you parted with them.
Bucky promised to clear out the spare room upstairs to make space just for yourself. Your very own room, just like he had his very own room downstairs.
“I hope we aren’t making a mistake”, you whispered against his naked shoulder when you were lying in bed together that night.
“We’re not”, Bucky replied confidently, moving his hand through your hair. “We will be fine. This is just the first step in a grander plan anyway.”
“Oh?”, you asked and lifted your head, staring down at him with a slight smile. “You have a grander plan?”
“Y’know”, he shrugged and grinned. “Getting you into the house, so you can never leave. Treating you like a princess for a couple of years, until you are so blindsided that you’re gonna marry me, so that you will really never leave. Then get two or three kids into you, so you can most certainly never leave.”
Your head was spinning. “I…”, you gaped at him. “You… you were worried that you might not be a good boyfriend a couple of months ago, and now you are talking about marrying me?”, you were afraid that your brain was seriously malfunctioning from the whiplash. “You basically broke up with me because you couldn’t figure out whether you wanted to be with me, and know you want kids?!”
Bucky laughed and pulled you back down. “First of all”, he whispered in your ear. “You are the one who broke up with me. And I always wanted you, I was just too worried that I might fuck up your life, so I’ve made it my life’s mission to make sure not to do that. This might all be insane, but I’m not saying that I want any of this right away. To be honest, I’ve never even considered any of it before you told me that you loved me that first time. But you did and now I can’t stop thinking about the life I want to give you. If you want it, of course. The life I want to have. Besides”, he shrugged, “you don’t care about my sanity.”
You huffed indignantly. “If I want it?”
“Yeah.”
You nodded to yourself and looked at his face again, squinting at him with a serious expression. “I want to pay rent.”
Bucky rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to”, he argued. “Our ‘great’ nation paid for the house and a lot of other shit, actually, as if that might compensate me for what happened to me in Iraq.”
“But I want to”, you insisted petulantly.
“Fine”, Bucky shrugged. “That way, I’ll manage to get you a car before Christmas.”
“I…”, your mouth dropped open. “You are not getting me a car, Bucky Barnes!”
“Theoretically, you’ll be getting yourself a car”, he pointed out, “I’ll just hold on to the money you call ‘rent’ for a couple of months.”
You started to hit his shoulders. “You. Are. Not. Getting. Me. A. Car!”, you were practically performing a drum solo on his chest.
“Stop tickling me, woman”, Bucky laughed and grabbed your wrists tightly. “If you don’t want me to buy you a car, you shouldn’t pay rent.”
With a defeat sigh, you let him pull you on top of him. “Okay, then let me at least pay my part of the extra costs… water, electricity and all that.”
Bucky looked at you with soft eyes. “Will that make you happy?”
Pouting a little, you nodded.
“Okay”, he replied and kissed the tip of your nose.
“And I don’t want you to buy me a car.”
“I can’t make any promises on that one.”
You threw your head back with a groan. “You are insufferable, you know that?”
“Steve and the others might have mentioned something like that once or twice, yeah”, Bucky grinned at you.
Sighing deeply, you were leaning down and pressing your forehead to his. “Too bad that I will most likely marry you one day and have two or three kids with you”, you whispered.
He blinked at you with wide eyes, enveloping your face with his hands tightly. “Really?”, he breathed, blinking frantically.
If you hadn’t known better, you would have guessed that he was fighting tears. “Really”, you replied. “So that you can never ever leave.”
“Even if it’s too much too soon?”, Bucky asked with a certain kind of sparkle inside his eyes. “Even if it’s insane to want something like that with someone like me?”
“It’s not insane”, you denied.
“It’ll be an adventure.”
________________________
All the stuff you wanted to keep was at Bucky’s by the end of the week. All the rest was sold. You used the money for picture frames, littering the house with both your family and friends and Bucky’s. He let it happen with a resounding sigh.
Bucky smashed the keys to your apartment down in front of your landlady, and for once you could see that he enjoyed the fear in her eyes at his unfounded reputation.
You couldn’t blame him though, you enjoyed it too.
Still, before your new adventure of living with the man of your dreams, and quite possibly the love of your life, could start, you took a few vacation days and insisted on flying to your childhood home.
“If we’re moving in together, I have to tell my dad”, you told Bucky when he was pouting on the couch. “He has to know where I live, and therefore he has to finally know that I’m with this guy who is driving me crazy.”
Reluctantly giving in, Bucky pulled you into his lap. “But I don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t particularly want to go either”, you whispered and kissed him sweetly. “But my dad deserves to find out in person that I’m moving in with a man I’ve only been in a relationship with for ten weeks. Y’know, that I’ve completely lost my mind.”
“If there’s any danger that he might put you into an asylum, you should really handle that conversation over the phone”, Bucky argued, holding on to you tighter as if that might stop you from going through with this plan.
“I really miss him, Buck”, you whispered.
And just like that, all the fight left him. You could see in his eyes that he would never keep you from doing anything you really wanted to do. Even if he didn’t want the same.
It was a good thing that you weren’t asking for something big. You just wanted to see your dad again and tell him in person.
“Okay”, Bucky mumbled a little petulantly.
“After I come back, I’ll be all yours, I promise”, you smiled at him. “You’ll see so much of me within these walls that you’ll be sick of me in a couple of weeks.”
He squeezed your waist tightly.
“Never.”
__________________________
“When will she be back?”, Steve asked on club night.
“Tomorrow afternoon”, Bucky replied, sipping his beer. “Finally.”
“It’s only been four days”, Steve argued. “Can’t be all that bad.”
“You have no idea, man”, Bucky shook his head, smiling into his drink. “I’m fucking crazy about this girl. I dunno, when she’s around… I feel like a complete person again. Not like someone who needs to be fixed, but who could be.”
Steve snorted a laugh. “And to think that a couple of months ago, the only reason you liked her was because she didn’t know all the things that were wrong with you.”
“That was never the only reason”, Bucky’s brows furrowed. “It was just the only way I could explain to myself what was going on. I was an idiot.”
“You are an idiot”, Steve pointed out.
Bucky rolled his eyes and punched his friend in the shoulder. “Anyway, what I’m saying is that I feel much better when she’s around, so I can’t wait to finally have her in the house for good. It’ll be great.”
“Aw, that’s cute”, Sam made mockingly.
“You’re just jealous”, Bucky shot back. “That’s actually another reason why it’s good she’ll be back soon, I’ve gotten used to a certain frequency of sex with an incredible quality and –“
“Okay, okay!”, Nat yelled and threw her hands in the air. “That’s too much information. Besides, that is my friend you’re talking about there, Barnes.”
“I’m your friend too”, Bucky added.
“Yeah, but I like her better.”
“Ouch.”
“I’m not jealous”, Sam chimed back in and stemmed his hands into his hips indignantly. “I like to inform you all that stuff between me and Rachel is going great. Anyway, I’m supposed to tell you that her and your girl have already planned like a year worth of double dates.”
“What?”, Bucky sputtered. “I’ll have to see you even more than I do now?”
“You know you love me, James, just admit it”, Sam whispered and blew him a kiss.
Bucky slumped down further in his barstool, shaking his head. “How can she do this to me?”
“How can she do what?”, a light voice suddenly asked behind him and Bucky whirled around, almost spilling his entire beer over Steve.
There you stood with wide eyes and a bright smile, duffel bag slung over your shoulder.
Before Bucky could even register what had happened, he had already gotten up and pulled you into his arms, breathing the scent of your hair in greedily. He didn’t even care about the way Sam and Nat cheered mockingly or the gazes of the others were burning into his back.
“What are you doing here?”, he whispered into your ear. “I thought I’m supposed to pick you up tomorrow?”
“Well, apparently I was annoying my dad by missing and mooning over you so much”, you started to explain and laughed as he peppered your face in kisses. “Stop it, Bucky, the local, extremely nosy biker gang is staring.”
“Who is she calling nosy?”, Scott called from the back.
“Anyway, my dad suggested that I take an earlier flight”, you continued undeterredly. “In return, he’s going to visit us next month.”
“Your dad?”, Bucky swallowed tightly, staring down at you. “Visiting us?”
“At ease, soldier”, you grinned in a way that looked almost a little evil to him. “He’s only scary when he wants to be. Besides, that’s the prize you’ll have to pay for having me.”
“Fine”, Bucky sighed and kissed you again, just once but more deeply this time.
“Get a room”, Merle grumbled when he pushed past you two and sat down at the bar.
“He picked me up to surprise you, by the way”, you jerked your head in Merle’s direction.
“Oh… thanks, man”, Bucky told his grim looking friend.
Merle had started talking to him again and was back to his usual asshole-ness towards everyone. Except for you, of course.
“We’ve talked about this, doll”, Bucky whispered in your ear then, so that no one else could hear, noting the way Merle was shooting you a soft smile. “No using your superpowers on anyone but me.”
“It was for you, so I guessed it would be fine”, you grinned at him.
As he stared down at you like this, finally back in his arms, not just for now, but to stay forever, it hit Bucky with a sudden clarity he had never expected.
I love you, he thought. And I’ve missed you.
Of course, he did. He had loved you for so long, it felt stupid that he had only now managed to even think the words.
Steve was right, he really was an idiot.
This wasn’t the right time or place to say it out loud, though. He’d wait for a while longer.
Maybe tonight, when he had taken you apart a couple of times on his tongue and cock.
When you were at home. A home that was both his and yours.
“You wanna get out of here?”, Bucky whispered, feeling a strange urgency, as if the words might burst out of him uncontrollably when he waited too long.
“Sure”, you smiled and got up onto your tip toes to kiss his chin sweetly.
“So…”, Sam started from his place behind the bar, “Will you let us know how the housewarming is going?”
“Fuck off, Wilson”, Bucky called with a laugh over the hollering and cheering of the others as he steered you both towards the door with an arm around your shoulders. “I’ve gotta get my girl home.”
Home.
Finally, after living in that house for so long, the word felt like the truth in his mouth, not like an empty term.
“Right, babydoll?”, Bucky asked when you were already outside, walking towards his car, while pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.
“Yeah”, you breathed and looked up at him with your pretty, big eyes. “You’ve promised me an adventure, after all.”
“Yeah”, Bucky smiled.
“Yeah, I have.”