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Chapter Text

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE. IF it's on AO3 under AnonEhouse, that's fine, that's me. Also, translation and pod-fic done by other fans on free sites is also fine.)

"Ok, we're going to look at my life from an outside perspective." Tony paused to clear a spot in the rubble of the penthouse. "Well, as outside a perspective as I can get, eh, Friday?"

"If you say so, Boss," Friday replied.

"It's not ideal, I know. I tried talking to Bruce...just as a friend. He took it as me asking for free therapy, which baffles me. Why would I think a nuclear physicist was a psychiatrist? My mistake, thinking he was a friend, not just someone with similar scientific interests.

"I considered hiring a therapist for a hot minute, but hoo boy, if word got out that Iron Man had a few screws loose it'd be back to Congress and another fight to keep the suit. And do I really need a therapist? I mean, sure I went through a lot, but I'm functional. Mostly. Everyone has nightmares. And dreams about alien invasions, right?"

"Maybe not everyone," Friday said.

"True. Maybe just the one guy who went into space and saw the fleet. They lost the shortcut, but I have a hunch the leader didn't say 'ok, I'm turning the car around and going home'."

"Wasn't Loki the leader?"

"Since when does a general ride out alone, ahead of the troops?" Tony shook his head. "Nothing about that made sense. Thor knew about it, even knew the name of the creatures, the Chitauri, but didn't even offer a guess how Loki wound up opening the door for them."

"Could you ask Thor to explain?"

Tony rubbed his throat. "Even if I knew where he was, I wouldn't. He doesn't think about problems, just grabs them by the neck."

"Isn't there anyone on your team you could confide in?" Friday asked.

"Who?" Tony said. He picked up an Iron Legionnaire's head. "As a joke I told Hill that Steve is the boss, and all I am to the team is their banker and mechanic, just to make them look good. She didn't laugh. Neither did Steve. Apparently it isn't funny if it's true."

Tony brushed dirt off the head and put down on a broken table. "Who else? Well, Pepper and I are on a break. And God, I don't blame her for finding this shit show too much.

"Rhodey? He's my best friend, but... never the guy to tell your woes. It's all 'team is good, Tony, you have to be a team player'. I tell myself that he must have had a concussion because surely my best friend since M.I.T. would have done SOMETHING, protested at least, maybe yelled 'hey, stop', when a goddamn god picked me up by the throat and scolded me like a puppy that'd pissed on the floor.

"But if it was a concussion it didn't stop Rhodey from suiting up and going out without so much as popping an Advil.

"So much for Rhodey." Tony pushed more debris around with his foot.

"Boss," Friday said, sounding very tentative. "I'm afraid I'm not able to help you."

"You're listening, Friday. That's important, having someone willing to listen. Even if I did have to build you myself." Tony picked up another piece of Iron Legionnaire. "Let's talk about the other people on 'my' team. When I asked Nat how she convinced Bruce to go all green after he'd kept his cool during the crazy robot melee, she just shrugged and said she'd pushed him. Pushed him? Off a ledge. She said he had plenty of time to change, it wasn't a problem.

"And I'm... ok, so that's the Thor solution again. I thought they had something? But I guess it wasn't the something I thought it was. Bruce is gone, by the way." Tony turned a sectional sofa right side up and sat down, turning the piece of armor over and over in his hands. "I suppose he didn't like being forced to Hulk out twice in one day."

"Ms Romanoff pushed him off another ledge?" Friday asked, tentatively.

"Oh, no, that was our... well... Steve's newest member of the not-me team. Wanda Maximoff. She and her brother were working for Hydra. That's Steve's old enemy from World War Two," Tony explained. "Hydra was in SHIELD, so Steve and Nat and this guy Wilson- you don't know him, he just... I dunno, jogged with Steve so it made sense to have him steal the EXO-7 Falcon wingsuit and blow SHIELD to hell and gone... like napalming your house because you see a cockroach... funny thing is... the cockroaches survived, but the house was toast."

"Boss?" Friday said. "I don't understand."

"Yeah." Tony put the piece of armor down next to the head and sighed. "I don't understand it either. Anyway, Wilson doesn't have anything to do with this. He showed up at the party, so I was thinking about him, but he said he doesn't plan to be an Avenger. I mean, not that it mattered what I thought about it. Clint made Wanda an Avenger... because... reasons? She didn't want to die with the rest of the world, so she turned against Ultron? And then her brother took bullets meant for Clint, so I guess he felt he owed her something." Tony got up and went over to the remnants of the bar. After kicking debris around, he found an unbroken water bottle and went back to the sofa with it.

"All this talking makes me thirsty." Tony drank most of the bottle before recapping it and putting it on the table. "You know another funny thing? I financed Helen Cho's Cradle, the thing that saved Clint's life after Wanda's brother attacked him. Did Clint even say 'thanks' to me or more importantly, her? No, he did not. Did he even think that Helen might be a teeny bit upset that the woman who worked with Ultron, who killed some of Helen's co-workers, and mind controlled her, let's not forget, that's Wanda's power, too, was not only forgiven all, but rewarded with Avengers' membership?

"Comes with free room and board, courtesy of yours truly. At the Compound my father built and I upgraded to give 'my' team a home. Of course, Wanda hates me for some... I don't know, tragic backstory where I figure as the devil. She openly, very clearly, said that she wanted me dead. Steve pointed out very kindly that Iron Man had only been helping out until the scepter was found, as a favor to Thor, and now that's done, wouldn't it be best if I just kept on paying for everything, but didn't show up because Wanda is a traumatized child."

Tony got up again and went over to the bar. More searching turned up an unbroken bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade. He scowled, but opened it and drank some anyway. "So, that and the fact that approximately five minutes after Wanda decided to turn in her Hydra badge for an Avengers' t-shirt, she told Steve that I was creating another monster because you know she's so pure of heart she could see into my rotten soul. So... Steve tried to kill me with the shield my father made, the shield Steve took over my father's objections... luckily my armor was a little faster to reach me. So, yay no harm done. Vision emerged and picked up Thor's hammer, which is apparently proof of worthiness.

"Maybe worthiness, but not common sense because Vision thinks Wanda is a sweet and loving innocent angel and he adores her... I just threw up in my mouth a little. Clint's retired, by the way, so maybe his last act as an Avenger was a fun-loving prank, to see how long it takes before we realize he was joking. She's a disaster waiting to happen. You remember I said she triggered the Hulk?"

"Yes," Friday said. "I'm... still trying to organize the sequence of events."

"Good luck with that. So, anyway, she triggered the Hulk after she'd mind-whammied the rest of us, and could have just walked off, because Bruce was waiting for a Code Green in the Quinjet. He was not doing a damn thing she could consider a threat. I guess it was just for shits and giggles that she wound him up and threw the Hulk at Johannesburg. I called Veronica and tried to stop him. At least I did manage to keep him from killing anyone, and I even bought a vacant building to trash so no one lost their home. It was after that Bruce vanished without so much as a 'see you later'.

"I'm not really broken up about that. He worked with me, of his own free will, on the Ultron program- not the distorted abomination that stole the name- and stood there along with everyone else when Thor played 'pick up the puny human by the neck and blame him for Ultron'. Didn't upset Bruce enough to bring out the Hulk. Hell, he agreed with Thor, conveniently forgot his part in it, and that we weren't even NEAR an interface. And then... when I asked for his help to make Vision Bruce said he didn't trust me, and that it was all my fault."

"It doesn't sound like you have a team, Boss," Friday said. "Why are you supporting them?"

"Because..." Tony blinked. "You know, I'm not sure. I thought I was being clever, because they didn't want me, but I made myself indispensable... but that's not true. All Steve wants is my resources and my absence. I'm supposed to be working on a visa for Wanda. Which Steve thinks is just a matter of tossing money at someone. Money, which he sneers at, but has no hesitation in considering it his due. In fact, all of them seem to think my money was dishonorably gained, and they're doing me a favor by accepting it to purify my sin of being a legal arms manufacturer providing my country's armed forces with weapons.

"Huh. Do I REALLY want to risk my reputation trying to get a visa for an acknowledged Hydra terrorist? There's no place on the form for 'she didn't know it was Hydra, and she's sorry now for all the people she killed and tortured, and fucked with their minds."

Tony drank the rest of the water bottle. "Friday, call the Compound. I want to talk to Steve."

Chapter Text

It took a few minutes. While he waited Tony got up to arrange the remains of Legionnaires in neat rows, not at all like a cemetery. Not. At. All.

"Tony?" Steve sounded annoyed. He looked annoyed too, over the visual pickup. "We're training, can't this wait?"

"No, it really can't, Steve. I've looked into the matter of Wanda's visa, and it's just impossible."

"What? No, that's ridiculous. You can do it, I'm sure," Steve said. "Just tell them how much the Avengers need her, and you know... do whatever you do. Find a loophole."

Tony put on a confused expression for Steve's sake. "Steve, she is... was... a member of a terrorist organization. There are no loopholes for that. Even if she had been kidnapped and forced to marry a terrorist, she'd still be unable to obtain a visa."

"But she's just a kid! Why should one mistake ruin her life?" Steve asked.

Tony swallowed back his protests about 'one mistake' and 'just a kid'. "I don't make the rules, Steve."

Steve looked back at the other Avengers, including Rhodey, who'd stepped in to take Iron Man's place. "But we need Wanda."

"Sorry," Tony said. "It's out of my hands." He put on an even more apologetic expression. "It gets worse. The lawyers told me that I can't play the 'it's just a club' angle if I'm not actually a member. It was fairly thin to start with and I only got away with it because of the battle of New York. Now, with the disaster in Sokovia, there's a lot of talk about me financing a private army."

"What?" Steve turned to look at Rhodey. "That's crazy. We're the Avengers."

Rhodey retracted his face plate. "Um, I hadn't thought about it, but Tony has a point. The Air Force didn't mind seconding me ... but that was when SHIELD was in charge and then, when I explained about the scepter, they said they could extend my service for that purpose. But we got the scepter. The mission is over. I should be reporting back for reassignment."

"But Hydra is still out there!" Steve said. "Wanda would be invaluable!"

Tony noticed that Steve had completely ignored losing War Machine and the 'Tony can't fund the Avengers' issue', because... what? He didn't believe them? Thought that if he just didn't acknowledge what he didn't want to hear, it would go away? Thought Tony was lying and somehow influencing Rhodey to lie, too? The only lie here is that Tony is not able to abuse the system, as they always accuse him of doing. He just isn't going to expend his hard earned influence and equally hard earned (not that the Avengers believe it) money to support people who would kill him and then blame him for 'making them do it'. That's taking masochism to a whole new level.

In the past people overlooked the Avengers less than legal actions because they were going after terrorists with Hill doing the diplomatic preliminaries, and Tony doing the after mission repairs, apologies, reparations. Now that Steve is entirely in charge, his disdain of all protocol will create a nightmare, one that even Tony's influence and largesse could barely handle if he devoted an army of lawyers on it 24/7. If they were friends, people who'd work with him, he'd try. But for a group that tried to kill him or stood by and watched? To hell with that.

Nat came close to the video pickup. "Come on, Tony, is this about your ego? Just because you're not on the team?"

Tony heaved a large, fake sigh. "You've got me... No, actually, you haven't. I didn't create the law, and I can't change it. I'm not a government agency, and you're not my private bodyguards. There's no spin here. Legally, I cannot support you. I can't house you. I can't let you use my equipment or my vehicles."

"You owe me, Stark!" Wanda said. Her hands and eyes were glowing pink. "My family is dead because of you! My home is gone! I have nothing except the Avengers! You're not taking that away, too!"

Vision floated up next to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure we can find some way to help you, Wanda."

Wanda jerked her head up. "I can go to Washington and tell them I need a visa! I'm sure I can convince them."

Tony really didn't like the sound of that. "Who? Who will you talk to?"

"Everyone! Anyone I need to see!" Wanda said firmly.

Rhodey said, "Um, Wanda, I hope you aren't planning to use your abilities to convince people to break the law."

Steve nodded. "No, Wanda, you can't do that."

Rhodey looked relieved.

Then Steve said, "It wouldn't work. They'd be caught and then you'd be in more trouble."

Wanda pouted, and then nodded. "But Stark has to do SOMETHING!"

Tony put on a serious expression. "I would have said there was nothing you could do-- but then Fury showed up, and even had a helicarrier. Maybe SHIELD isn't entirely dead and you could join them again? They took in Nat, and her record was... well... similar to Wanda's?" Tony raised his eyebrows with an 'I wish I could do more, please don't be mad at me', expression.

"Neo-SHIELD doesn't have the resources," Nat said. "Couldn't your company just... fund SHIELD?"

"No, no it can't. When SHIELD fell, my lawyers discovered S.I. had accounts set up to feed into SHIELD, but there was no authorization or reason for it, so that was stopped and frankly, it was a nightmare sorting that out and protocols were put in place to stop ANYONE from doing that again. No, I'd have to get something in return for using my personal funds. So it would be a normal business deal."

"But I just told you," Nat said, "SHIELD doesn't have the money!"

"No." Tony looked at Steve. "The only asset you have that's worth that much is your shield, Steve. I'm sorry, but I can't think of anything else."

Steve's jaw muscles visibly tensed. "Like... a pawn shop? You'd pretend to hold it for a while, and then lend it to me when I need it?"

Tony shook his head. "The only way I could justify the purchase would be if I used it. It's a one of a kind alloy. I'd need to take it apart to study it. I could make you another shield so you would still have one. It wouldn't be the same, but it would be pretty good."

"Why can't you make another shield and pretend that's mine?" Steve said.

"Because I will need to show progress in studying it to keep people from suspecting that I'm actually supporting you. It's only a piece of metal, Steve. That's not what makes you a hero." Tony didn't say it but he was thinking of that argument so long ago on the helicarrier. 'Big man with a suit of armor, what are you without it'.

Steve nodded finally, a single jerky twitch. "You're right. The shield didn't make me what I am. It's just a useful tool."

"Right. So, can Nat contact Fury and get things arranged? I'm going to be busy- there's an inquest on Ultron planned, with me as the focus." Since Bruce fucked off, and Thor fucked off- and had conveniently forgot that he and Steve had given permission to study the scepter. Well, who was left holding the bag? As usual.

But Tony isn't going to be holding it much longer.

Nat tried working on his ego some more. Rhodey made a few tentative remarks about 'the team', but didn't quite go so far as to say 'they've got your back'. The government can do upkeep and maintenance on War Machine, and Rhodey gets his salary from them, so the Avengers isn't all that important to him even IF they did let him work with the Avengers.

Once the phone call ended, Tony leaned back and sighed.

"Are you all right, Boss?" Friday asked.

"Always," Tony said. Then he sat up and looked around at the rubble and destroyed Legionnaires. "Send a suit, I need to finish cleaning house."

Chapter Text

Cutting ties with the Avengers had a cost, of course, but it was more than offset by the greatly expanded time available for other things. He had asked Rhodey to deliver the shield, ostensibly out of convenience, but really it was because he expected Fury had a backup fake which Nat would switch, given half a chance. They had Steve and the shield long before anyone knew. Add to that Coulson's fanboy nature... and yeah, there was probably at least one patriotic frisbee clone in storage.

Once he had the shield and verified the authenticity- dad ALWAYS had a hidden mark on all his prototypes- Tony melted it down to convenient sample sizes and set it aside for further investigation after he'd handled the immediate situation.

In addition to the generously estimated price of the shield, Tony threw in all the equipment he'd made for the team, and all the specs for possible upgrades, and the quinjet they used. He didn't want the quinjet anyway. He had a fear of cooties-- of the Nat species of planted bugs or other cute infestations she could have added. Let them have it along with all the gear and weapons it contained.

Let them have Maria Hill, too. Tony wasn't fool enough to think she had ever really renounced her ties to Fury.

Tony and Friday went through S.I. employees, looking for unannounced SHIELD agents by cross-referencing the files JARVIS had downloaded from the helicarrier years ago. He was fine with most of the rescued ex-SHIELD people hired after the data dump, but the ones he found siphoning funds in finance, or copying design files in engineering? Hell, no, out the door, return to sender.

"Has SHIELD interfaced with the Quinjet yet, Friday?"

"Only superficially, Boss," Friday said. "The tracker and spyware are operational but there hasn't been an attempt to link with it as yet."

Tony nodded. "The moment Fury tries to get anything from the Quinjet, it should piggyback on the link and send everything it can get back home to us. Keep an eye on it. I doubt it will go unnoticed for very long. Priority for personnel lists, especially a list of any double agents working for S.I. and still listed as SHIELD, anything to do with me, or my father. I don't know what else SHIELD kept besides that trunk of home movies and notebooks."

Having given up on the Avengers didn't mean Tony had given up on the idea of organizing an unofficial Earth Defense force. There had been hints in the news of people with unusual skills and abilities even just in NYC. Once he got started, and had something to show, he intended to extend recruitment world wide. Not a team, but a community for support, encouragement, and most of all clear lines of communication. Get everyone on the same page.

They had just lucked out that Loki was too much a diva to play it smart. Maybe he needed SHIELD playing with the tesseract before he could come through, but once he had it, and considering he already had the scepter with its mind-bending abilities, he could have done a hell of a lot better than funneling his forces into a hand-to-hand combat situation against the very people best suited to fight that way.

Really, why didn't the space caterpillars just spread out, ignoring Iron Man and Thor unless right in their paths and then dump the Chitauri at tactical points to cause disruption and confusion? If they hadn't been concentrating on trying to destroy the city with hand-weapons and ground fighting-- how hard would it have been to send them to wreck power plants, blow up dams, smash hell out of any noticeable vital infrastructure?

Even without the nuke- which Tony STILL hadn't got Fury to confess how that happened- even without the nuke, funneling the attack through one point was stupid. If the fight had lasted longer, attack helicopters and jets would have filled the air around the exit point of the portal with so much firepower the caterpillars would have died on emergence.

Tony didn't count on the enemy, whoever it really was, giving up, and he didn't count on them repeating the same mistakes. Steve thought that six people could protect the world against alien armies? Tony thought that was carrying optimism to an extreme. Without the short cut, they'd be coming the long way, and could land anywhere on Earth. Or even stay in space and throw asteroids, if they just wanted to destroy the planet. Tony was hoping no one would expend that much effort just to wipe out an isolated planet that couldn't possibly interfere with whatever plans they had.

It would be nice to be able to fight back in space, but realistically, the best Tony could do would be set up a satellite system for long-range observation, and tactical weaponry to at least thin them out if hostiles approached. EDITH was so far just in his mind. Earth Defense Interstellar Targeting Hardware. Yeah. That'll do for a name.

"What's this?" Tony said as he found a short list labeled, 'The Index' among the old files JARVIS had copied.

"It appears to be a list of people with super-powers," Friday said.

"Huh, 'extraordinary people'? Wonder why none of them made the cut for the Avengers. I mean, Clint's good aim and Nat's kickass abilities are great, but I'd trade both of them for an Ultraman with a useful super-power."

Friday said, "I've located a basic brief on 'The Index'... When a person with a power or ability is discovered, a team is sent out to file an "Index Asset Evaluation and Intake" report. It is followed by a full psychological evaluation and threat assessment."

"I hope they use an actual psychologist, and not just ask Nat to grab a diagnosis off Psycom.net mental health quizzes."

Friday continued, "People on the Index are often assigned a case-worker and generally advised to keep their abilities private." Friday paused and then continued, "Some individuals on the Index are deemed too dangerous and are killed, and referred to as being "crossed off."

"My God." Tony shuddered. "If you didn't make the grade, you were murdered?"

"Eight of the twenty names on the list have been crossed off. The cause of deletion was sometimes not due to SHIELD."

Tony's mind went back to Nat's remarks on the helicarrier, during the time the Scepter was influencing them to speak their minds. "Are you all really that naive? S.H.I.E.L.D monitors potential threats. Captain America is on the watch list."

Steve wasn't on the current list. Tony wondered what his psychological report had said, but whatever it was, he passed. Or they thought he was useful enough to keep anyway, the way they did with Tony? Tony's leash had been longer, that was the only difference. Was Nat still maneuvering Steve to suit Fury? No way to tell.

"Ok, so we'll stay away from the people on the list. No sense riling up Neo-SHIELD by headhunting their assets."

There were a lot of 'unexplained' events in the news, and even sightings of costumed people beating up criminals-- which was kinda a waste of time. Sure, they stopped them in the middle of whatever they were doing, but since they didn't stick around to hand them over, how can the police charge them with anything? Well, if the victim hangs around, that possibly works. Unless the criminal claims they're the victim. Yeah, complicated.

Tony isn't going to play middleman between 'I do what I want because I'm a good guy' and the law any longer, so he doesn't plan on arming any of these people- but giving them other assistance seems ok. They probably need medical - setting up a free clinic would be well within S.I. charitable works. Records on 'report to the authorities' injuries would run through Friday and 'oops' disappear for the signed up heroes.

There's a guy in Hell's Kitchen who dresses up like a devil and beats the hell (no pun intended) out of people. He'd be a good fighter, well worth contacting. And not too hard to find, once Friday ran algorithms based on sightings, place, time, people he'd beaten.

"Excuse me," Iron Man said as he set down on the alley immediately after Daredevil dumped a body, -live- Friday assured him and likely to survive without lasting injury, into a convenient dumpster.

"What do you want?"

It didn't sound as if the Devil was surprised. Well, Iron Man was never known for stealth. Good sign that DD hadn't run off? Maybe?

"I want to talk to you about an opportunity."

"Is that how you got your money? Multi-level marketing?" The Devil twirled his stick and sounded very sarcastic.

"No, mostly I got it by making things that go bang. Obviously you don't need that. Were you here when ugly alien tourists landed in Manhattan? I know, not Hell's Kitchen, so not your thing, but still..."

"I was here," Daredevil said. "Protecting my own."

"Uh huh. You could do that then, because that was just a scouting party. What will you do when they return in force? And they will. I saw the armada."

Daredevil went totally still. "Everyone said it was just one madman behind it, and he's gone back to prison on some other planet."

"I don't believe it. Loki was the front man, that's all. They're coming. And when they do come, do you want to rely on someone else protecting what's yours?"

The Devil shook his head. "What are you proposing? I'm not joining any team. I'm not giving up my identity. And I'm not going to stop doing what I do."

"I'm not asking for any of that. This is disaster scenario planning. I want your input on what we can do. If you see anyone with abilities that might help, I'd like you to tell me about them or tell them about me, whichever. If you need any assistance, call me. I'm not setting up a team, just trying to make sure we'll be ready if needed." Tony tossed a small button, the kind with a magnetic snap back to attach to clothes, at him. "Press that, and someone will answer. Any time. If not me, then my assistant Friday."

Daredevil caught the button. "I'll think about it." Then he twirled his stick which released a cable that caught on a fire escape, and he left.

Tony walked Iron Man over to the dumpster and lifted the lid. "You ok there? Want me to call an ambulance?"

Obscenities answered his query.

"Ok, suit yourself. But I wouldn't stay there too long. I don't know the pickup schedule."

Chapter Text

"Tony." Pepper's voice brought Tony's head up immediately. He shut off the holographic plans for EDITH and turned to face her. He hadn't got around to fixing up the lab space yet, so he was sitting on the broken couch in what had been the Avenger's meeting space. The Legionnaire parts and other large debris had been disposed of, and he'd even replaced the broken window, but along about that time he got distracted with plans for the future and stopped cleaning.

"What happened?"

"Um. You don't know? Ultron? Sokovia? It was kinda a big thing in the news?" Tony was annoyed that Friday hadn't given him a heads up, but then he'd never rescinded Pepper's totally free access status. Never wanted to, even when she said they needed a break. She needed a break.

"Why am I getting calls from the service staff at Avengers' Compound asking if they've been let go, now that the Avengers no longer live there?"

"Um... that's a good question. I mean. Really, the Compound is technically an S.I. property as it was my dad's warehouse and test lab for bigger projects. The kind of things you don't want to play with in a city. So I guess they thought it would be best to go direct to the big boss, which is...you?"

"Tony. Why did you kick the Avengers out?" Pepper didn't look angry, which was surprising. She usually was fuming when Iron Man or Avengers was the topic.

"I wouldn't say I kicked them out. That's... that's not how it was. It was just... I did a feasibility study since... things changed."

"What things?"

Tony looked at Pepper and then drew a deep breath. "Mostly, I had my eyes opened when Steve insisted on making the woman who tried to kill us all-- and who got Steve to try to kill me...well, when Steve made her an Avenger and suggested that I step back to make her more comfortable..."

Pepper gasped. "What?"

Tony shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much. Step back, and keep funding them, because they're the Avengers. And I'm not. I never was."

"And are you funding them? Because Tony, I tell you right now, S.I. isn't going to do it. I'd have them in court in a moment if I thought it would work."

"Nah. I just cut my losses. Got Steve to sell me my father's shield, and I tossed the lot of them on Fury's tender mercies with my blessing. I gave them a few odds and ends, an old quinjet I wasn't using. That's it. Washed my hands of them."

Pepper sat down on the couch, without inspecting it for dirt. She stared at Tony. "Ok. That. That's good. So, is Iron Man retiring? Or going back to being a lone wolf?"

"In between. Iron Man isn't looking for trouble, but has to be ready for it. The 'team' deal was a disaster, so I'm going for something new. More like...a community of people who can step up when needed, but aren't tied together like a flock of sheep."

"You know you don't have to do this, Tony." Pepper reached out and took Tony's hands.

"If I don't, who else will, Pep?" Tony squeezed her hands gently."I saw an armada. I see them when I close my eyes. I love you, and I love this crazy world of ours. I want us all to have a future. I couldn't convince anyone in power that we really need to prepare.'The Avengers will take care of it, no need to worry', they all said.

"The Avengers won't be enough. Iron Man won't be enough. I'm going to find people who will be enough. Find them and give them what they need to be the best they can be, and make their own decisions. This won't be a war won by soldiers. It's going to be people fighting for their homes, their friends, their families-- even for their enemies just to show they are worthy, no matter what Thor's magic hammer says."

Pepper smiled and shook her head. "You're worthy, Tony." She sighed. "And S.I. will be behind you. We just have to figure out how to provide support... LEGALLY and without taking the fall for everything that people do with that support."

Tony grinned. "As long as I have you and S.I. I'm golden."

"Right, what are you planning right now? I'll run it past legal, cautiously."

"I have some names I want to connect through a communications network. Not signing them up, just putting out feelers right now until I have a better handle on organization without turning it into a private army. I'm thinking to hire a private investigator to find them on a more low-key level than 'hi, I'm Iron Man, wanna save the planet?'. She's definitely one of the supers and might even know some of them personally. Friday found footage with her demonstrating both super strength and invulnerability." Tony flicked his hand and a holographic file popped up, showing Jessica Jones.

"Hmm." Pepper read the file quickly. "She sounds good. S.I. could hire her to do normal background checks, too."

"I'm hoping she has contacts with locals that SHIELD hasn't snatched." Tony tilted his head, and flicked up the file on the Index next to it. "They have to keep a low profile or risk being 'crossed out'."

"My god," Pepper said, her eyes widening as she read what happens to people SHIELD considers too dangerous to live. "Tony, stay the hell away from SHIELD."

"I'll do my best."

Convincing Jessica he had no nefarious plans took a while. She obviously had issues and poor coping strategies, but hell, who doesn't in the superhero business? Eventually she agreed to show up for 'end of the world' events, and pass Tony's name on to other people who might be interested. He left her with a supply of contact buttons and a contract with S.I., strictly as a private detective, so at least she'd earn enough income to pay her rent. Which, considering the state of the place, Tony figured at about... no, he couldn't count that low.

Also, she needed a better quality of whisky. Tony ran his tongue around his mouth trying to get rid of the taste of the glass she'd pressed on him to 'seal the deal'. Then again, maybe that was what she spent the rent money on, volume, not quality. There were an assortment of random brands of dead soldiers scattered around her office. He doubted she was going for film noir, more likely she just ran out of give a damn.

If she had anything like the high tolerance that Steve did, it might take more than she could afford to get blitzed on the good stuff. Sometimes you don't care what it tastes like, so long as it does the job.

Yeah, he knew the feeling.

Chapter Text

Tony was looking at the list of names Jessica had provided of 'semi-interested' parties. Frank Castle was a wild card, emphasis on wild. Jessica said he'd accepted the button, but didn't want any contact unless it was an end of the world scenario, same as Jessica. Semper Fi, Frank. Tony was sure he could count on him. Once a Marine, always a Marine.

Luke Cage was another excellent contact, super strength, invulnerable skin and a take no shit attitude. Unlike Frank, Luke was quite willing to accept pay for work. He wanted to leave the amount for 'saving the world' up to Tony's judgement because he'd never done that and didn't have a set fee for it. Jessica had warned Tony not to attempt to cheat him, which... did Tony look like a cheapskate? He was a little insulted until she told him a story about some weirdo in Latveria (Doctor Doom? With a name like that, he's got to have powers, so Tony was going to try to get to him) cheating Luke out of $200, so Luke, as you would naturally do, 'borrowed' (by beating up another guy Tony needed on his radar, big orange pile of rocks who goes by the name 'Thing' and apparently has a team of three other people and how the hell did Tony not hear of all these people in New York City? Spent too much time in Malibu, I guess- great for surfing, poor for heroing) a plane and flew to Latveria to beat some respect- and his cash- out of Doctor Doom.

Yeah, Mr. Cage was never going to have cause to say 'Where's my money, Honey?' to Tony. He was musing over Mr. Cage, and the hints that Luke knew a guy with... magic fists? Whatever... but apparently that guy was wealthy, so money wouldn't be the way to approach him. Also, probably making a joke about fisting to 'Iron Fist' would be a bad idea, according to Jessica. She already knew Tony all too well.

His musing was suddenly interrupted by Friday sounding an alarm call. "What?" Tony said, already standing up and signaling for a suit.

"The Warehouse registers an intruder..." Friday paused, and sounded confused. "The extra-sensitive sensors added recently may possibly be too sensitive?"

"No such thing." Tony exited the Tower via Suit, and waved at the workers reinstalling the 'Stark' name, before kicking the suit into high speed. "Nat was at the Compound long enough to learn all the existing security, and she knew there was more to the building than their living quarters. I didn't have a place to move dad's old 'Bad Babies' when I converted it to a training and housing facility- I was trusting them not to take advantage, but obviously I was mistaken. If Fury got hold of them... not good. Really not good. Is the capture system operational?" Tony wasn't about to risk the employees there. He'd reassured them their jobs were stable, and in fact he'd be hiring more people. At present the current staff were maintaining the place and helping to organize the makeover into something more suitable for large groups of people on a temporary basis. Think conference center with hotel style rooms, scale up the spa and other amenities, etc.

"Yes, but... it's such a small intrusion. Far too small to be a human. Possibly it's something natural."

"The system's not as smart as you, Friday, but it's smart enough not to be fooled by a falling leaf. Maybe Fury's found a way to make a photostatic veil cover the whole body to look like nothing, but there was a tiny glitch my system saw?"

Friday reported a moment later, "The system confirms it has captured the anomaly."

"Good." Tony didn't really care if it was a false alarm. He hadn't had an excuse to take the suit out since Sokovia, and was enjoying it.

Tony landed on the roof of the Warehouse, and frowned at the force walls glowing around a very very small object. "Huh. A bug, and not the spy kind. Maybe I should just step on it."

The object bounced around and waved... not antennae. Arms.

Tony focussed the suit's vision to see a bug-sized man dressed all in red. "Ok, that's freaky. Did we forget to put out milk for the brownies, Friday?"

"Was that on the schedule, Boss?" Friday asked, confused.

"No, but maybe it should be. Tell the system to release the intruder."

Once the force walls collapsed, bug guy expanded into a normal human size. "Um, hi, I'm Scott!" he said while taking off his weird antenna topped helmet. "Thank you for not squishing me, Mr. Iron Man, sir."

"What?" Tony asked. He had been expecting a cold-eyed spy, or perhaps a robotic device, not a bumbling puppy of a man. It was disconcerting. He felt an urge to smack this Scott over the nose with a newspaper.

"You're really not as bad as Hank said!" Scott said. "Even though you did steal his stuff, but hey, sometimes redistributing the wealth is good for the economy!"

Tony retracted his helmet so he could rub at the bridge of his nose, trying to press back an incipient headache. "Ok, let's start over. Who are you? What are you doing sneaking into my warehouse? And who is Hank? And what the hell does he think I STOLE from him?"

"I'm... I'm ANT-MAN!"

Tony blinked. "You were bitten by a radioactive ant? Experimented on by a mad scientist? Your father was an alien? Come on, give me something here."

"Um." Scott scratched the side of his head with the hand that wasn't holding the helmet. "I needed a job, and after I stole this suit... well, STOLE isn't really right, I mean, I took it, but Hank meant me to take it, it was a test to see if..."

"If you were worthy?" Tony shook his head. "Wow, that old scam still works. So, you're saying the shrinky-dink suit is Ant-man, and it belongs to this Hank, and he set you up to steal from Tony Stark, so if you get caught, his hands are clean and he can be all 'Ant-man, who dat?'."

"NO! No. Hank wouldn't do that." Scott didn't sound so sure. "Look, this guy, this other guy, Hank trusted him and he froze Hank out of his own company, and now he's planning to do bad shit with Hank's invention because he figured out how to weaponize it. He's got a meeting planned to sell it to terrorists, Hydrangeas." Scott looked at Tony hopefully.

"Why does this sound so familiar?" Tony muttered, while thinking of Stane. "Ok, I'm following you so far. Hank is in a bind and he thinks what... I've got something he can use to get evidence against this other guy?" Tony would really like to have some actual names here.

Scott nodded and then shook his head. "Hank said he needs something he invented when he was with SHIELD and it was just lying around in Howard Stark's old storage, not doing anything, and nobody would even miss it."

"There's so much to unpack there. First, if Hank invented it when he was with SHIELD then why doesn't HE have it, or even SHIELD?"

"Ah... good question. I don't know. Maybe SHIELD gave it to your father?"

"SHIELD is a taker, not a giver. They stole stuff from my father they couldn't even USE, and kept it for nearly thirty years before trying to bribe me with it." Tony was silent for a moment. "Let's try this scenario on for size. Your Hank, and my dad, worked together on a project with SHIELD acting as middleman to bring them together. Maybe SHIELD screwed him over leaving Hank with no option but to abandon his stuff and blame Howard because he didn't fight SHIELD for Hank's sake. Wouldn't be the first time." Tony remembered doubting Vanko's claims that Howard had stolen half the credit in the arc reactor from his father and that he'd then been deported on trumped up charges of stealing it. It wasn't worth stealing, or even caring about the credit, not as it was. Howard had treated it as a vanity project believing that someday, somehow, his son would have a technological breakthrough making it invaluable.

"I don't... I don't think that sounds like what Hank said. He told me you stole it."

Tony rolled his eyes. "I stole something that was created before I was born, which has been unused in storage ever since so I didn't even know it existed? I think, to put it kindly, Hank is seriously confused."

Scott shrugged. "Yeah, could be. But his daughter! She's not confused and she's sure Darren Cross has got hold of the super special stuff that makes the molecular whoozits work. I can shrink tiny enough to get in ANYWHERE." Scott looked down at the force wall generators. "Almost anywhere. And it can shrink and enlarge other things, not just people in a suit."

"Ok, I can see this is a serious issue. Tell me what you're after, and what Hank wants to do with it, and then... take me to him. I don't even lend Stark weapons to the US government any more. So, this is the deal. If Hank convinces me, I'll use the gizmo myself, or do whatever else you need to do to stop the ... Hydrangeas..." Tony grinned.

"Hank isn't going to like it," Scott said. "But I guess it'll have to do. I don't want to go back empty-handed. It's a prototype of a 'signal decoy'."

"DAMN IT, SCOTT!" a voice blared from the helmet.

Tony looked at the helmet. "Hank?"

"Hank," Scott said with a sigh. He put on the helmet. "Sorry, Hank, I forgot you were listening. Is it ok that I bring Mr. Stark back to the house after we get the thingamabob?" Scott winced. "Um, Mr. Stark, Hank says, sure it's fine."

"You cleaned that up a little, didn't you?" Tony asked. He turned towards the roof entrance with Friday already showing a route to the storage unit holding the signal decoy.

"Just a smidge."

Chapter Text

In the elevator on the way down to the below ground storage, Scott told Tony about getting out of prison, and Hank looking for a burglar which led to Scott's friends and how Scott was in training for this mission and how Hope had a hell of a punch.

Tony didn't quite tune him out. He noticed that Scott managed not to say anything actually useful, so finally Tony was direct with him. "I'm gonna need an address, Scott," Tony said after he picked up the signal decoy- along with the design paperwork that mentioned Howard, and SHIELD, but not one word about this Hank.

Scott winced at whatever he was being told by his helmet. He took it off again. "Dr. Pym is really not happy about this, but ok. It's in San Francisco."

"How did you get here?"

"I came by Antony."

"What."

"Oh, hey, your name is Anthony? I didn't think of that, honestly." Scott held up his arm. A slightly larger than normal winged black ant waved its feelers. "This is Antony."

"You... flew an ant from San Francisco to Upstate New York?"

"Oh, no, that's ridiculous. We hitchhiked on a jet. And then a bus. And then it was up to Antony. He's tired, poor little guy. I wasn't looking forward to making him take me back to the bus stop again." Scott looked at Tony hopefully.

Tony shook his head. "You can borrow a car. Just go down to the garage and Friday will unlock one for you." Tony packed the signal decoy into a box that magnetically clamped to the suit. "Meet me at my Tower in Manhattan and I'll make arrangements. I'm assuming there's a time element involved, so don't dawdle."

Scott nodded. "I can do that."

"Oh, and be sure you don't lose Antony in the upholstery. Happy has a thing about ants in the cars."

Tony talked to Pepper on the flight back to the Tower, letting her know what was happening. If this, whatever the hell it was, turned out wrong, he didn't want to leave her in the dark. It wasn't a fun conversation, but he was glad he got it out of the way before he faced her in person.

Pepper was waiting in the penthouse, arms crossed and shoes tapping, when Tony landed and let the suit dismantle itself. He put the signal decoy box down on the table.

Her eyes went to it. "What is that, exactly? Is it a weapon?"

"Not specifically, but you know... anything can be a weapon." Tony gave Pepper a small grin. "Took down a Legionnaire with a fondue fork."

"Please, don't remind me. I saw the video of the 'party', Tony." She shuddered. "You trusted them, and they almost killed you. And now you're going to trust the man who tried to steal from you?"

Tony said, "I don't trust Pym, but if he's right about someone selling his tech to Hydra, I can't afford to let that happen. This signal decoy has a very specific function- it counteracts transmission blockers. Basically, if Pym is trying to hack into his facility, but it's been locked out of the grid, he needs something like this to break through, so he can see what's going on."

"All that just to see? Why not go in with a security escort or just call the FBI or the CIA if his ex-partner is selling weapons to terrorists?"

Tony smiled. "Yeah, that's the question. Scott said Pym told him 'the final phase of your training will be a stealth incursion' when he sent him to steal from me. Seems likely he was testing if Scott could sneak in and steal the weapon. Technically it doesn't belong to him since he was ousted before it was created and he has no proof it wasn't independently developed. If federal agents seized it, he couldn't claim it. They missed out on getting Iron Man, pretty sure they'd double-down with whatever this is."

"I don't like it," Pepper said.

"Neither do I. I'm having Friday look into the old SHIELD data, try to find out what was the connection with him and Howard. It's slow going because Friday doesn't think like SHIELD, they have weird naming conventions. What were they trying to do? Did SHIELD steal the signal decoy from Pym and let my dad take the blame? That happened a lot, to the point dad stopped arguing about it and let people think what they wanted. From stories Jarvis told me, Peggy Carter had the same opinion of my father as Rogers has towards me- self-centered, greedy and untrustworthy. My guess is that even if SHIELD hadn't shown him cherry-picked videos of me being an ass, Rogers would have still had issues with me."

"Be careful, Tony."

"I always am."

Pepper raised her eyebrows.

Tony said, "Ok, yeah. Sometimes I have to seize the moment."

Scott was such a puppy. He fell in love with Tony's jet and relaxed over drinks and snacks. Antony wasn't forgotten- he had a drop of maple syrup, put on a plate inside a doughnut to keep him occupied. "Yeah, maybe it wasn't the best way to go about it. Vistacorp, you know? But I tried to work with the system first!"

Friday had told Tony all the details, so he knew to say, "Let me get this straight. You discovered the company overcharged customers, so you changed the code to correct the billing. You were caught and ordered to change it back. You complained to Human Resources in the same company and were fired."

Scott nodded. "And they said terrible things about me in the newspapers, so I couldn't get them to listen to me, either. Just like you did, I decided to take care of it myself. I gave the people their money back! And then I had a little fun. Zorick deserved it!"

Tony thought there was a slight difference between destroying his stolen weapons while going after terrorists who were in a no-mans' zone where no government had authority and breaking into a man's house, stealing jewelry and driving his Bentley into the swimming pool. That part was just spite. And stupid to boot because the security camera caught it all.

It was even stupider because he'd made no effort to cover up the bank records or shown any proof that the money belonged to the people he'd sent it to so none of them got to keep it.

Scott truly was a puppy. Friendly and lacking any sense of consequences.

Tony said, "Going around fighting bad guys in a super suit really isn't as much fun as it seems, Scott. I miss the days when I was just an engineer. It was less exciting, sure, but I was creating..." Tony scowled. "Even if I wasn't creating what I wanted. Today, though, S.I. is in the forefront of world-wide sustainable technology. Communications, transportation, green energy. That's the place where an engineer can really spread his wings."

Scott sighed. "I couldn't even keep a job making fro-yo. My record's against me. I was lucky Hank saw something in me."

"S.I. could use you."

"Do you have any security systems you want me to break into?" Scott said sarcastically.

"Ah." Tony thought about Neo-SHIELD. Friday would eventually sort out their records, but if Scott did it instead, and found proof that SHIELD, not Howard, had stolen from Pym, he might be able to convince Pym to join Tony's Unofficial DisOrganized Earth Defence Force- wow, that needed a better name, that's un-acronymable. "Maybe. I just might."

Chapter Text

To be polite, Tony left Iron Man on guard out of sight of the beautifully whimsical Victorian mini-mansion and entered the house wearing a business suit. He'd been slightly disconcerted by the contrast between the cheerful building and Hank Pym's dour personality.

But then he met Pym's daughter, who went by her mother's name, and it made sense. Mom must have loved the house, and Hank had loved her enough to stay where memories lingered. There was a strong undercurrent of friction between Hope and Hank- in part, Tony guessed, because Hank had entrusted the Ant-man suit to a stranger rather than let his daughter help him.

"Just lend me the signal decoy, and I'll take care of it," Hank said. He gave Scott a sour look. "If Scott had done his job, you'd never even have missed it!"

"That's true, but it's beside the point," Tony said. "Whatever happened between you and my father is also beside the point. Neither of us want Hydra getting your weapon. Working together for this one purpose doesn't commit either of us to anything."

Hank scowled. "This is a stealth mission. Scott will have to shrink down to get inside the Future's Vault and grab the Yellowjacket. What use would your clanking metal monstrosity be?"

Tony smirked. "The suit is more than muscle. My A.I. Friday can monitor and intercept security once the signal decoy is active. Tell you where and who and what is going on inside the building, and cover exterior sources, including police and anyone else who could be looking in. Are you sure you're not still on SHIELD's radar?"

"SHIELD is gone," Hank said, but he didn't sound quite sure.

"Not so much. Fury is still floating around along with whatever minions he salvaged, plus the Avengers. I donated them to him, but they're probably already eating him out of house and helicarrier. So he's hungry, and looking for anything he can use. Something like the Ant-man suit? That would be very tasty to him, right now. He only ignores people until he can use them."

Hank blinked, obviously thinking it over.

Hope said, "There's another suit. Yellowjacket. It's a militarized version of the Ant-man suit. Solid titanium, it can fly, and fire beams of energy, using a pair of exo-manipulator limbs."

"Wait, you didn't mention that before." Scott said. "All I can do is shrink."

Hank waved off Scott's objections. "You're just going to avoid security and fetch the suit. The Yellowjacket is still a work in progress. Using the same process, lab animals kept... well... turning into goo. With the specialized helmet that won't happen but it's still likely to have serious side effects. Darren would have to be an idiot to put a person in it."

Scott held up his hand. "Wait, isn't this the guy you said wasn't the most stable?"

Hope and Hank exchanged a look.

"If Cross is dealing with Hydra," Tony said, "he's not terribly concerned about human life. He could stick a minion in the suit." Not that Tony thought that likely- it requires trust to hand over power, and trust and greed tend not to coincide. "Iron Man can be on standby, just in case Scott pushes the panic button." And yes, Tony had given Scott a comm button, and an offer of employment as an engineer with a side of possibly hacking SHIELD.

Hank was still looking sour. "I guess I don't have any alternatives."

"Well, you could call in the CIA. I have the director on speed-dial," Tony said sweetly.

Hank made a noise that could only be described as a growl. "SHIELD was bad enough, I'm not letting another Stark help the government get their sticky fingers on my invention."

Darren Cross unexpectedly turned up. He walked straight into the house and saw Tony talking with Hank. The only lucky break was that Hope and Scott had gone to the kitchen in an attempt to let Hank and Tony settle their differences without witnesses so Darren didn't know she'd reconciled with her father and was no longer on his side.

"Sorry," Darren said, "I was going to invite you to attend the auction tomorrow, but I see you have company... Wait? Tony Stark?"

Hank sighed. "Darren Cross, yes, this is Tony Stark. Frankly, I don't know what the hell he wants. And I don't care. You can see each other out." Hank headed for the door and held it open.

Tony walked out of the house with Cross. "So," Cross said, "You wanted to do business with Hank?"

Tony shrugged. "I'd been looking into the records in SHIELD's data dump. It was... it was a lot and I had other things on my mind, but today I came across hints that Pym had come up with something that altered our understanding of universal laws."

Cross said, "You know, he was my mentor. But he got old and lost... well... that spark. He handed the company over to me, and we've made great strides. Came up with something really remarkable, not just a thought exercise, but a practical technological breakthrough. It's absolutely game changing in the field of security, world peace, that sort of thing. Right up your alley. If you're interested, you can buy in."

"It's for sale? Dr. Pym..."

"Hank isn't in charge of the company these days, and whatever he'd started... it was never patented, never published, never had his name on it. It was a sad story, his wife tragically died, and it broke him. He lost interest and abandoned everything. Even sent his seven year old daughter away to boarding school."

Tony didn't react outwardly, but he remembered how he'd felt when Howard had done the same thing to him, without the further trauma of losing his mom. No wonder Hope was cool to Hank.

"So," Darren said, "The company needed a hand at the helm. I stepped up and perfected what he'd begun. It would have been faster if he could have helped but..." Darren shrugged. "You've seen Hank."

"Yes, yes, I have." Tony smiled the same smile he'd given many a warlord. "I would in fact be very interested in this auction. I'll bring my checkbook."

Darren grinned back, with an equally false smile. He produced a business card and scribbled on it. "The address, and the details. Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark."

"Likewise," Tony said as he accepted the card.

Tony waited until Darren's car was well out of sight before returning to the house. "That's a fun guy," he said. Hope and Scott had returned to the living room. "I'm not quite sure, but I suspect he's planning to sell me to Hydra along with the Yellowjacket."

Hank shook his head. "All the more reason for you to stay out of it."

"No, no, now it's personal. I'm insulted to be part of a package deal. So, what are your plans, really? You're not going to settle for the suit, are you, Hank? If he's still got the plans and whatever powers the suit... yeah, don't look at me like that. Screwing around on an atomic level isn't just a hardware situation."

Hope said, "We want the suit, and to wipe the data banks."

"And to blow up the building, just in case," Scott added. "Because, you know, someone's always got an extra drive in a desk drawer or at home."

"At home?" Hank said. "That's incredibly lax security. That's the one thing Darren wouldn't do. Nothing leaves the building."

"What about Toy Story 2?" Scott said.

Tony reassessed Scott's maturity level further down. He also had a flashback to JARVIS playing a joke on him by playing 'Lightyear', the latest movie in the Toy Story series, as background noise for the workshop- without telling him Buzz's voice actor sounded just like Steve Rogers.

"They screwed up and ran a command to delete EVERYTHING just as they were doing the final edits. And then found out that the last month's backups hadn't been working! But one woman had a new baby, so she'd been allowed to work from home. They brought in her home computer and it was saved!"

Ok, Tony gave Scott a few points for nerdiness. But he then lost them by not knowing the whole story. The bosses didn't like it, so they redid very nearly the whole movie, anyway. Tony didn't have the heart to spoil Scott's moment, so he just cleared his throat. "Do any of the employees have a new baby, or other reason to work from home?"

Hope shook her head. She and Hank were staring at Scott. Tony hoped Hank was beginning to feel bad for manipulating an innocent.

"So," Tony said, "What's the plan?"

Scott produced a roll of blueprints, and Hank began talking about ants, and Hope about security systems while Tony thought wistfully, this was what a team was like. They didn't need him. Not unless something went very very wrong.

What could go wrong?

Short story? What could go wrong? Just about everything. Tony did scan the building and was about to rescue an overlooked guard when one of Scott's friends got him out just before it blew. Then Cross went crazy and took the Yellowjacket for a spin, but Tony hesitated to attack because he didn't know enough about the suit and didn't want to risk a catastrophe in a populated area.

He hated feeling useless. All he was able to do was snatch Scott's little girl before Cross could grab her. He flew her to safety while Scott... disappeared.

That was a very bad moment, holding a screaming child who thought her daddy was dead. The relief he felt when Scott reappeared sent a warm flush through his whole body.

"Yeah, no, Pep. I can't come home just yet," Tony said a few hours later while leaning in the suit against a smashed police car. Friday hooked him up in the private video call once he realized Pepper would be worried. The news had already spotted Iron Man and speculation was as wild as ever so he figured he might as well give them a photo op. "I have to stay and talk to the police, make sure I won't have to come back later. A building blew up so of course they're looking at me even though I was just innocently discussing business with Dr. Pym. It was a tragedy losing that facility, but he has plenty of ideas that just need a little funding. Maybe I'll start a think tank. A world wide community where selected extraordinary people can exchange ideas and experience. I'm thinking of calling it 'HAVEN'."

Pepper was silent for a moment. "That's an acronym, isn't it?"

Tony grinned. "Yeah, Heroes Against Violent Extraterrestrial Nasties."

Pepper sighed. "Could be worse, I suppose."

Chapter Text

"Thank you, Mr. Stark," Scott said, "for Cassie." Everything had finally calmed down. Cassie's family had moved into a hotel until the damage to their home could be fixed, while Hope, Scott and Tony had returned to Hank's house. Hank appeared preoccupied and had made no complaint about Tony's inclusion. He'd gone off to his workroom muttering 'if you eliminate the impossible what remains must be the truth'.Tony wouldn't have taken him for a Sherlock Holmes fan.

Tony smiled at Scott. "She's a great kid. You should be proud of her."

"I am," Scott said, "Cassie's the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to make her proud of me."

"Ah. So, that's why you want to be Ant-man?"

Scott nodded.

"Ok, I get that. But in the meantime, Ant-man won't pay the bills."

Scott scratched his head. "I know. I want to help you, but I promised Hank, first."

It was proving harder than expected to find useful data in the old download from SHIELD, and the data dump was even less organized as it hadn't had as many years of JARVIS sorting things out, so Tony really wanted to get Scott's input. Apparently Tony and Friday thought too much alike and not at all like SHIELD. He'd only found 'Index' through a random fluke. Scott's off-the-wall perspective might be useful dealing with SHIELD's oddball naming system. "It would help Dr. Pym, too, if you can find out what they actually did with his inventions. If I find anything that does belong to him in the Warehouse, I'll turn it over."

Hope said, "I doubt you'll change his mind, he's a stubborn old goat. I still haven't got him to tell me the truth about mom's death. He said she died in an airplane crash. I checked later. There weren't any at the time."

"Huh," Tony said. "SHIELD tried to cover up Stane's death that way- 'small aircraft have such a poor safety record'."

Hope nodded. "I know it's a coverup. I just can't get dad to tell me the truth."

Hank had entered the room without being noticed. Now he spoke up. "I was afraid to tell you. You've always been fearless, Hope. Just like your mother. I didn't want to lose you following in her footsteps."

No one said anything, they all just stared at Hank.

He continued. "We worked together, for SHIELD. She... she had her own suit. The Wasp. A mission went wrong. My regulator was broken. The missile... we had to stop it. Janet... she went sub-atomic. I thought she was dead. I thought no one could survive the quantum realm- the physics wouldn't support biological functions. It shouldn't." Hank looked at Scott. "But you came back from the quantum realm. So I was wrong."

Hope said, "Mom could be alive?"

Hank shook his head. "I don't know. It's been so many years. I'll try to find out, but I don't know where to start."

Tony said, "Dr. Pym, I know you don't trust me, but if there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

Hank scowled at him. "Why, so you can get the Pym Particles that your father failed to steal?"

Tony shook his head. "No. For Hope. For the memory of my own mother, who'd want me to do it. I'll sign NDAs or any other contract you want, for your protection. This isn't my field, but I'm a damn quick study."

Hope said, "Please, dad. Let Mr. Stark help."

Scott said, "And I can look in SHIELD's records. Maybe they know something they never told you about the mission? Something that could help?"

Tony said, "It's a long shot, but I do have copies of the full data breach, and I hope I can give you access to more recent activity soon, for whatever use that might be." Really, Tony was surprised Fury hadn't tried to sneak into the quin-jet yet. Maybe he was short of techs. "I don't believe my father stole from you, Dr. Pym, but if he did, and there's proof, I'll do what I can to make it up to you."

"Fine," Hank said grudgingly, after a long pause. "You're all set on this, we'll try it your way."

When Tony called her, Pepper wasn't happy that Tony wanted to extend his stay in California. She reminded him that he would have to return for the Ultron inquest when the commission scheduled it. She also asked him to allow her to send the commission the security video from the penthouse, including JARVIS's actions to prevent Ultron from getting the nuclear codes, and everything the Avengers did there. Tony hesitated, and then reluctantly agreed. "It's going to look like I'm throwing them to the wolves to save my own ass." Tony said.

"No, it's going to look like you're cooperating and giving the investigators full access to the information they need to make a decision. You do know that before the Avengers left the compound they were requested to assist the investigation? They never replied."

Tony sighed. "Yeah, Steve did mention it in passing. Said he didn't have the time or saw any need for his input. After all, he didn't create Ultron. It happened, it was over, no sense in 'chewing his cabbage twice' by discussing it. Apparently he never did after action reports for the Army or for SHIELD. Just brushed the dust off his boots and kept marching."

"Well, he can keep marching to Fury's fife, now," Pepper said.

"You're so spiteful these days, Pep, where did my sweet little P.A. go?" Tony said playfully.

Pepper gave an inelegant snort. "Being your P.A. sharpened my fangs, Tony, but I always had bite."

"You're getting me all excited now. It's a new kink!"

Pepper rolled her eyes. "We'll explore that later. After you come home."

Tony gave Scott a top of the line Stark computer, and introduced him to Friday (along with safeguards to prevent him accidentally pulling a Toy Story 2) He was limited to reading, viewing and making search requests, nothing actually illegal- at least on his part- ...probably.

'Probably'. JARVIS's original, unsanctioned download and the even more unsanctioned Data Dump years later might be de facto public domain, but absolutely not de jure. Tony had sincere doubts anyone at Neo-SHIELD would call him to court however, as the organization was supposed to be dead. Zombies can't sue. Probably. And whenever Fury tried to pry secrets from the quin-jet-- well, spying on a spy spying on you is a case of 'the biter bit'.

Friday sequestered unseen any results specific to Stark Industries, Howard or Tony for Tony to check later. Anything specifically involving Pym Industries, Hank, or Janet Van Dyne was similarly sequestered for Hank to check later. Anything that turned up for both Stark and Pym would alert Tony and Hank to view it together.

While Scott was doing that and Hope was handling Pym Industries like a boss, Hank was getting Tony up to speed on quantum realm theory, and Tony was incorporating everything he'd learned from Bruce into possible aspects Hank hadn't considered. Tony had far less faith in 'numbers say it can't be done' and more in 'it must be done, I've just got to invent the way'.

Most of the time Scott sat in front of the computer, bored, asking Friday to search for random things in SHIELD's data, while amusing himself with equally random videos and google-wandering on the huge, high definition monitor. He looked at a lot of ant information in particular with his favorite ant nearby, snacking on the crumbs of Scott's snacking.

"Ok, now, Antony, we saw a lot of videos about carpenter ants and they're cool, but I want a change of pace. Now I know you must be a girl, so I should call you Antoinette? Antonella? Antonia? Yeah, I like Antonia. Ok, Friday, how about some ant-action? Ant wars! Yes!"

"Oh, shit," Scott said partway into the video Friday found that matched his request. "Cover your eyes, Antonia. This is... too graphic. The big guy is going down. Ow. Poor Goliath."

Scott looked away from the video. "Hey, Friday, ask SHIELD about 'Goliath'."

"Working," Friday replied. She sounded an alert and shut off the ant video. "I have a match! Goliath is the code name SHIELD gave to Dr. Pym!"

"Yay," Scott said, hastily picking up his snack plate with Antonia clinging to a sour cream and chives chip. "I'll clear out so Hank can read this in private. Go, team ant," he whispered to Antonia.

Chapter Text

"What the fuck?" Pym shouted so loud everyone else in the house heard him. "FUCKING HYDRA all ALONG?"

Privacy was one thing, but Tony couldn't resist coming in at the word 'Hydra'. "What?" Tony said, from across the room where he couldn't actually see the monitor. Hope and Scott hovered behind him.

"Carson," Pym said, moving aside to let them view the file. "Mitchell Carson, he was SHIELD- 'Head of Defense'. He was trying to replicate my Pym Particles, that's why he's mentioned in my file. But he was Hydra!"

"And SHIELD knew about it all along?" Tony knew the rot had been in SHIELD from the beginning, but 'Head of Defense' so early?

Friday spoke up, "I haven't located the earliest reference. He was revealed to be Hydra at some point after the Data Dump. Neo-SHIELD tried to hack the quin-jet this morning, Boss, so I've got a lot of new information to sort through. It's so confusing I've been trying to organize it before I alerted you. Tahiti? Inhumans? A... flying bus with cavalry?"

"Yeah, ok." Friday was still young, and didn't always know when something should be 'report now, even if it's incomplete.' "Good job, keep going."

"Thanks, Boss!"

"Just don't wait to tell me, next time you find something," Tony said.

Pym pointed to the SHIELD I.D. photo. It apparently hadn't been updated since his hire, showing a young man with a serious, dedicated expression. "He had the balls to say I hadn't tried to save Janet."

Hope moved in close to stare at the picture. "He's... I've seen him. I'm almost sure of it."

"What?" Everyone asked in semi-unison.

"Wasn't he with Darren?" she said.

Friday said, "Analyzing security imagery. Aging up the I.D. photo and... I have a match." Friday showed a video clip of the scene when everything went wild, and Hank got shot. Carson, present day Carson, was there, to buy the Yellowjacket.

"At least he didn't get the Yellowjacket," Pym said. "Was he in the building when it blew up? I hope?"

Friday said, "No. Scans showed it clear of human life before the explosion. Surveillance reveals Mr. Carson escaped unharmed." She showed a fuzzy 'security cam' view of Carson running away from the building. He was holding a briefcase.

"Is that anything important?" Scott asked, pointing at the case.

"God DAMN IT," Pym shouted. "He got away with a sample of Pym Particles!"

"Shit," Tony said. "Don't panic. Think this out. SHIELD tried and failed to replicate the particles even when they had better access to you. How likely is it that Cross included the process of creating them with the samples?"

Hope shook her head. "He was greedy, not stupid. He planned to keep selling the 'fuel' to whoever bought the suit. I'm sure he wouldn't have even giving a hint as to manufacture."

"Ok, good," Scott said, "so we don't have anything to worry about, right?"

Tony and Hank exchanged glances. "Right," Pym said. "Nothing at all. Let's go back to work," he said, nodding at Tony.

Once they were back in the workshop, Pym said, "Now I wish Howard had stolen it. Better him than Hydra."

"Yeah," Tony replied. "Hydra won't give up. They have an endless supply of 'volunteers' to test experiments on. It may take them years, possibly even decades, but one day they'll figure it out."

Hank groaned. "Fuck it. I'm too old for this." He unlocked and opened a drawer to take out a hard drive. "I'm trusting you with this. Don't make me regret it."

"You won't, Hank." Tony accepted the drive. "I'll keep you in the loop... I've been working with nano-tech."

Hank perked up. "Say... combine the two..."

"Yeah. Iron man's always been limited by physical constraints. Gold titanium, even vibranium alloys, it's still heavy, and can be penetrated given sufficient force. But combining your particles with my nano tech, I could have a near weightless, virtually unlimited source of armor, constantly healing, infinitely, instantly, malleable." Tony gave Hank a serious look. "This... this is too dangerous, maybe even for me." It hurt, it really hurt, but Tony extended the drive to Hank. "Maybe you should keep it."

Hank took the drive, and looked at it for a moment, and then he looked at Tony. "No. No, I trusted the wrong people once, but this time... this time I think I have it right." He handed the drive back to Tony. "Let's work on finding Janet now. I have ideas for a quantum tunnel."

Tony grinned. "And I've got ideas to incorporate a search and scan function in your suits once we analyze the particles- anything that interferes with atomic spacing must have a unique radiation signature."

The next day Tony was called to go back to New York for the Ultron inquest. He promised to keep working on a search method for Pym particles and keep Pym updated on his progress. The only reason he didn't have to go to Washington for the inquest was because the commission said they wanted to see the lab in the Tower for a first hand look at the set up and the precautions Tony and Bruce had taken. Tony had roped off the area and left it as it was, not so much because he had thought they'd want to see it, as because he wasn't ready to deal with the place where JARVIS had died.

Pepper had ordered Tower services to provide refreshments. "Coffee, tea, soft drinks, juices," she muttered as she arranged covered dishes and pitchers. "The labeled green plate has gluten-free pastries. Friday asked, and none of the commission has any of the other common allergies, so we should be fine."

"We'll be perfectly fine," Tony said. "They've already seen the evidence. If they thought I was guilty, they wouldn't want to look me in the face when they give the verdict." Unless, of course, they wanted to enjoy seeing him brought low. 'Eat the rich' anyone? "Kiss for luck?"

"You don't need it," Pepper said. "But it couldn't hurt." She kissed him and then backed up. "I shouldn't be here when they arrive. Wipe off the lipstick!" She headed for the elevator.

Tony wiped the lipstick off, but he was still smiling when the commission came up a few minutes later, exiting the elevator and obviously trying not to look impressed by the view. "Ladies. Gentlemen," he said, trying for his best 'yes, I am a professional, respectable, businessman' attitude. It was boring, but he wasn't out to entertain, or to sell anything, not even himself. For once, he'd let the facts speak.

Everything was going fine. He explained what he and Bruce had done in layman's terms, and showed the various safety protocols that had been in place, and then they all rewatched the security footage simultaneously showing a simulation that IF it was tried, would be a failure to interface, while he and Bruce were in the other room and then... Tony tried to distance himself mentally as it suddenly went from failed non-active simulation to active live success, and JARVIS tried to calm Ultron. Tried to seek the peaceful solution.

Tony really would have liked to have had a drink, but not in front of the commission. "JARVIS didn't completely die then," he said. "He fled into the internet and fought a rear-guard action that kept Ultron from accessing nuclear codes. I still...JARVIS, I wish you could explain what happened."

A video began playing, showing an unfamiliar interior, resembling something out of a medieval castle. "What's this?" One of the commission men asked.

"Sentry mode," the Tony in the video said, walking away from the Iron Man suit he'd just left.

"That," Tony said, "was in Sokovia. When I found the scepter. I forgot... why did I forget? I set JARVIS to watch my back. But I never asked for a replay. It must have been stored and I've accidentally cued it."

Video Tony picked up the scepter, but Wanda appeared behind him and he froze, with his eyes glazed over red. He stood there, immobile.

"Who is that?" the same commissioner asked as the view changed slightly to reveal Pietro standing next to Wanda.

"We're just gonna let them take it?" Pietro said.

Wanda smiled and didn't reply. The image froze on her smirk.

"What just happened? Who are they?" several of the commission members asked.

Tony shook his head. "That... those were the Maximoffs. Pietro, he died in Sokovia. Wanda, his twin sister." Tony swallowed. "She can get into your mind. Control your actions. Make you hallucinate. I saw... I saw everyone dead, because I hadn't done enough. That's why... that's why I went back to working on Ultron. I'd given up on it months ago, but suddenly I had to do it." Tony's mind was whirling. "Why did I never see this video? Why didn't JARVIS warn me..." Tony wondered if JARVIS been so human that Wanda's powers worked on him, too?

"You say this Pietro died. What about Wanda?" one of the women asked.

Tony shook his head, trying to clear his mind. "Fury tried to tell me... he knew she'd done something to my mind. But then... why did he let Steve..."

"Who?" the woman persisted.

Tony looked up. "I... I'm sorry. I'm a little distressed at the moment."

"What about the woman?" this time it was a man asking the question.

Tony blinked. "Oh, Wanda. She's an Avenger now, according to Steve Rogers." Tony shrugged at the shocked expressions on everyone's faces. "But I'm not an Avenger. I never was. So I don't know where they are." He ran his hands through his hair. "It hasn't been... I've been trying..." He probably shouldn't be telling them all this. But it seemed distant and unimportant, compared to JARVIS. Dead and still trying to help Tony.

"Yes," the man who spoke sounded sympathetic. "If you will just download that additional video to the committee, I'm certain we are done here." He looked around, gaining a silent consensus. "We find you totally blameless in the creation of this Ultron."

"Thank you," Tony said, automatically. After they left, he sat down on the couch and gave in to the shakes. Wanda had been in his mind. She'd been in JARVIS's mind. And now she was with Steve.

Tony wondered whether he should warn Steve. He could track the quin-jet and find Neo-Shield. But then, Steve had sympathized with the Maximoffs before he ever met them, so what good would it do? It wasn't as if Steve had ever listened to Tony. Wanda didn't even need to use any red handed magic to convince him to kill Tony. He'd just be making himself a target for Wanda again. And this time she might go after Pepper.

Tony shuddered. Steve had made his bed, let him lie with the witch.

Chapter Text

A few minutes after the commission left, Pepper came back up to the penthouse. She looked at Tony, who was sitting on the sofa, staring blankly ahead.

"What happened?" She glanced at the snacks, none of which had been touched. "Is it over? Do I need to get Legal in on it?"

Tony shook his head, one sharp jerk to the side. "It's over... and it's not over. The commission cleared me."

"Well, that's good." Pepper sat next to Tony. "So, what's the problem? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about JARVIS."

"Oh," Pepper said. She put her hand over Tony's. "I miss him, too."

Tony shook his head again. "It's not just that. Maximoff... she got him. Back in Sokovia. She got me, too. Ran her fingers through my mind. Made me desperate enough to go back to working on Ultron even though I knew it was basically flawed. And she kept JARVIS from telling me.

"Until now. Somehow he saved a video of her hexing me, set to play if I asked him what happened there."

"Oh, Tony."

"The commission saw it. And... I was shaken, shaken too much to keep quiet about Steve taking her in as an Avenger."

"Well, he DID," Pepper said. "Once Neo-SHIELD starts using them openly, it'll be obvious."

"Sure, later it'll be obvious, but by then they'd have come up with a redemption arc story about a repentant young woman who wants to atone for her misguided actions. Just another soldier for Hydra, obeying orders. They'd play up the telekinesis, and pass off the telepathy as 'she can't control people's fears', while ignoring that she can not only control your physical actions, she can get in your mind and make you see things that would terrify any sane person."

"So, she'll be exposed sooner. That's good, isn't it?"

"I was hoping to keep SHIELD and Rogers neutral. This... this is going to be taken as an act of war."

"BOSS!" Friday sounded upset. "Boss, I found something!"

Tony rolled his eyes. "We're having a moment here, Friday."

"Yes, Boss, but you said!"

"Yeah, ok," Tony ran his hands through his hair. "Something new, or can it wait?"

"It's old, Boss." Friday spoke hesitantly. "But I don't think it can wait. I'm not sure. In most U.S. states failure to report a crime isn't illegal, but helping to conceal a crime generally results in a charge of accessory after the fact, or possibly aiding and abetting. And failure to report a crime is also known as misprision of a felony. But if the evidence of the crime wasn't legally obtained, can it still be reported?"

Tony stiffened. Pepper sat up straight. "What crime?" Pepper asked.

"Murder," Friday replied. "I think. It's difficult to tell. It was premeditated and intentional, which would be first degree murder. But the perpetrator could be argued to have no malice aforethought, which would make it manslaughter. Possibly it would even be involuntary manslaughter due to the unique circumstances. Law is very confusing, Boss."

"Oh, my God," Pepper said. "Did Wanda murder someone?"

"I don't know. I wasn't looking for anything about her." Friday said. "Should I look for information about her?"

Tony sighed. "Just tell us what you were looking for, and what you found."

"Mr. Lang was complaining that he was hot and he asked me to show him the movie, 'The Iceman'."

Tony huffed. "There's an actor who looks like Steve in that movie. A contract killer. It was funny at the time."

Friday went on, "Mr. Lang said that wasn't the movie he meant, so I started to show him 'Iceman', but he said that wasn't it, either. So then I got 'Iceman- the time traveler'."

"Is there a point to this, Friday?" Tony asked.

"Yes! Then Mr. Lang said, 'Just find Iceman.' And I found it in the SHIELD Data Dump. It's an alternative code name for James Buchanan Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier. The 'Iceman' file refers to assassinations which have been confirmed by evidence to have been committed by him."

"Well," Pepper said, "we can just turn the evidence over to the authorities, I suppose. It's not as if it's a secret that he killed people."

"But I can't release it." Friday said, "I'm supposed to sequester search results until you've seen it, Boss."

Tony's mouth went dry. "That was only for results specific to Stark Industries, Howard or me."

"Yes, Boss," Friday said.

"Show it, Friday," Tony said. A grainy old video began playing. Tony whispered, "I know that road."

It was date stamped Dec. 16, 1991.

"Wasn't that..." Pepper said, and then the sedan crashed into a tree. "Oh!" Pepper looked at Tony, and then back at the video. A white haired man fell out of the car, crawled... a motorcycle stopped. The rider got off and walked over to the man.

The man looked up, blood on his face, but his eyes were still clear. "Help my wife. Please. Help."

The motorcyclist picked him up and stared at him. The man... Howard Stark... Tony's father, said, "Sergeant Barnes?"

"Oh, GOD, NO," Pepper flinched, horrified, as Barnes slammed his metal fist twice into Howard's face, as Howard's wife, Tony's mother, Maria, weakly cried out his name. Then he put Howard's body behind the wheel of the car, and went around to the other side.

Where he strangled Maria with his flesh and bone hand, without even looking at her.

Tony stared ahead, shocked.

Pepper pulled him into her arms. He didn't resist, or cooperate, either. "Oh, my God, Tony. I thought it was an accident!"

Tony drew a deep, shuddering breath.

Friday said, tentatively, "Did I do something wrong, Boss? Boss?"

"No," Tony said, thickly. "You did right. They lied. They told me... Obie said, he said it was quick, didn't feel a thing, he said. He said he'd take care of everything."

Pepper stroked Tony's hair. "Do you think... could Stane have ordered this?"

Tony shook his head. "I don't know. If he did... if he knew about Hydra, then why would he bother hiring the Ten Rings to attack an entire U.S. military convoy in a sloppy attempt to kill me? Shotgun tactics instead of sniper? Why wouldn't he just... send the same..." Tony closed his eyes for a long moment. "I bet Obie would have thought that was fitting."

"It was in SHIELD's records," Pepper said abruptly. "They knew."

Tony nodded. "They knew. Hydra didn't have any reason to cover it up. All they had to do was have him walk away with... the trunk was open. Howard had something... God, maybe he had finally come up with the serum... and... he didn't tell me. But he would have told SHIELD."

Pepper said softly, "And SHIELD was Hydra."

"And SHIELD was Hydra," Tony agreed. "Hydra killed them, but SHIELD covered it up. The autopsy... they had witnesses who said they saw the crash. Newspapers had all the details."

"Why?" Pepper asked. "WHY? Wouldn't SHIELD want publicity, an all points bulletin, a manhunt after Barnes, to get back the serum, if nothing else?"

Tony shook his head. "I don't know. Secrets. They didn't want to reveal that they'd failed to get rid of Hydra? Or some of the Hydra in SHIELD sabotaged the investigation in order to protect their assassin? Or maybe they thought if I knew it was murder I'd look more closely at Howard's affairs and discover the money being funneled to SHIELD? Or... hell...maybe it was serum, but a failure... and maybe SHIELD set my parents up to die, so Hydra would have a flawed serum, one that would kill, or drive the super soldiers insane."

"You think SHIELD could have ordered your parents' murder?" Pepper was even more horrified.

"I don't know! I don't know. All I know is that they lied to me. I don't even know how many SHIELD agents knew. Higher ups must have... Director Carter... she was my father's friend... he pushed and prodded and politicked to get her the position of Director. She had to have known."

Tony abruptly went still, not even breathing, for a long moment. Then he said softly, "Carter threw my father's samples of Steve's blood into the Hudson. She did it because she thought my dad might profit from it. He wanted to make cures, to make people healthy! What would she have done if he had recreated the serum? That would be priceless."

Pepper said, "Tony, no. I know what you're thinking. You can't... she's old and senile. You can't ask her if she killed your parents."

"No," Tony said eventually. "Even if she did, she's probably forgot. What's one more 'murder for the good of all'? SHIELD and Hydra are the same coin, flip it, heads or tails. Does Nat know? Does Steve? I offered to help find his friend, but he said that Barnes just needed time. That he'd come to find Steve on his own, when he was ready.

"What about all those missions they went on without me? Hunting Hydra, Steve said. They didn't need Iron Man for that, and he knew how busy I was so I agreed to stay behind to work on support for the team instead.

"Was that true? Or were they looking for Barnes all along? And if they found him, what were they going to do? Bring the prodigal son back to join the Avengers, live under my roof? And never tell me?"

Pepper said, "I doubt they knew. It wasn't easy to find out. Friday only found it by accident."

Tony nodded slowly. "But Friday doesn't know the way SHIELD thinks. Nat does."

Pepper held Tony tightly. "What are you going to do, Tony?"

"I don't know, Pep. I just... don't know."

Chapter Text

"I've got to..." Tony shook his head. "I've got to report the murders."

Pepper nodded. "Of course you do, it's probably a crime not to."

"Well, maybe, but more importantly... I have to clear my dad's name. All these years, everyone... including me... thought he'd been driving drunk. All the side-eyes and people not quite saying 'sorry for your mother, but it was your father's fault'."

"Yes, you're right. I hadn't thought of that. How do we do it, though? If we say your A.I. found it while searching SHIELD's files, that'll make people look too closely at Friday. After Ultron you don't want them wondering how much initiative and power she has."

"Yeah. It needs to come from someone outside of S.I. But who could plausibly find it, and report it without suspicion?"

Pepper tapped Tony on the head. "Put on your thinking cap."

Tony grinned. "No, put on my white hat. The white hat hackers have been all over the Data Dump. It's a wonder they haven't found this yet."

"Do you know any white hats?"

"Some... but mostly the ones hired to test S.I. security. Too close a connection... Friday, hook me up with Scott, I want to talk with him."

"Yes, Boss!"

A hologram appeared. Scott was apparently attempting to teach his pet ant to shake hands, using a toothpick. It wasn't going well.

"Scott?" Tony said, to get his attention.

"Oh. Hi there, Mr. Stark. And..." Scott looked at Pepper.

"Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries." Pepper smiled at Scott.

Tony could practically see Scott melt.

"Oh! You're one of Cassie's heroes," Scott said. "I have to tell her I talked to you!"

Pepper smiled. "If you give me her address I can have a Future Entrepreneur kit sent to her. It's mostly a coloring book, with stickers and a mini board game."

"She'd love that!" Scott beamed.

Tony cleared his throat. "Right, but the reason we called, Scott... do you know any white hats?"

Scott said, "Yeah, a few. I was thinking, maybe once I build up some backing I might start a security business, and it'd be good to have a secure site. People don't trust a security firm that's not secure, you know? So, Luis's cousin had a roommate who used to run a chili dog stand in Rochester, and he got tight-- I mean really tight with a bunch of students at RIT, that's Rochester Institute of Technology..."

"Yeah, I know it," Tony said. "So, Luis's cousin's roommate has a white hat friend among this group?"

"Well, kinda. They broke up, but they're still friendly and Luis has them both on Facebook."

Tony blinked. "Right. Ok, so, here's the thing. The file Friday found for 'Iceman'... I need a white hat, one who doesn't connect with me in any way, to find it and make a big splash. Make sure everyone sees it. Everyone. Especially the police."

"Hey, you're not going to get her in trouble, are you?" Scott asked.

"No, she'd be doing a community service, actually, revealing a crime. She could be as anonymous as she likes, just make sure it's obvious that the file hasn't been tampered with, that it's an authentic file from the SHIELD Data Dump."

"Um... maybe? But why can't you just show whatever this is to the police yourself? Oh, Friday sequestered it, so it was something about your dad?"

"Yeah." Tony shook his head. "It's..."

Pepper put her hand on Tony's shoulder. "It's proof that SHIELD covered up the murders of Tony's mother and father."

Scott's eyes went wide. "Oh. Um... yeah. Have Friday clear me to get the link. I'll... I'll do that... Mr. Stark. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He paused a moment. "Can I tell Hank? He doesn't really hate your father, you know."

"Yeah, I know. They were friends and that's why he's so angry. Betrayal by a friend hurts more. I want the world to know what really happened to my mom and dad. Hank should know first. But... warn him... warn the white hat... it's... there's a video. It's... graphic."

"A video." Scott swallowed. "Of... yeah... I'll warn them."

The connection closed and Tony closed his eyes and leaned against Pepper. "I should... I should call Steve... try to find out if he knew. If he knew... after all his talk about keeping secrets. I have to know."

"Not now," Pepper said. "Just take a few minutes."

"Yeah," Tony said. "I need to process."

Friday said, "Boss, is there anything I can do?" She sounded uncertain.

"No... wait, yes, find me some good news, Friday," Tony said, mostly to give her something to do. "I want to be distracted."

"Good news network it is, Boss! A fossil pterosaur found in Germany was nicknamed 'Elvis' because it had a bony crest like a pompadour!" Friday said cheerfully, while showing images of the fossil still embedded in stone, and a diagram of the skeleton with shadowing to show the flesh it would have had. "They think the crests were used as sexual signals. And this one has the largest found so far!"

"Wow," Pepper said dryly. She fluffed up Tony's hair. "So sexy."

Tony grinned at her. "What else do you have for me, Friday?"

"Stunned Researchers Discover that Metals Can Heal Themselves Without Human Intervention!"

"Hmm... interesting, nanoscale self-healing... demonstrated in nanocrystalline metals in vacuum. But can it be scaled up, and made to work in normal atmosphere?" Tony began pulling up references, surrounding himself with information, anything so he wouldn't think about... not thinking about it. He didn't notice as Pepper pulled away. "It's not entirely new, of course, there's been self-healing cements since Roman times and ceramics since the 1960's, polymers in 2001 but the potential for my suits...hmm, self-healing of gold nanoparticles during laser irradiation..."

Pepper got up. Tony paused and glanced at her. She said, "I'm going to get coffee. Want some?"

"Yes. Thanks." He reached up to take her hand. "Thank you. Have I told you recently how I'd be lost without you?"

Pepper smiled. "You'd find your way. You always do."

Chapter Text

Tony decided to take the shield samples to the Warehouse rather than sit around at the Tower waiting for the commission report to hit the news. Sure he'd eventually have to talk to reporters, but it would be better if he had more time to bury...poor choice of words... bury his feelings about his parents' murders. It would be a shame to ruin the plan to distance himself from that reveal by losing his composure and blurting it out while talking about Ultron instead.

He didn't have a full lab set up there, but there was enough to do preliminary tests to see if he could induce self-healing in the alloy. He remembered the shield had scratches on it which proved it wasn't already self-healing. According to his father the first scratches were caused by Peggy Carter shooting at Steve in a fit of jealousy. She saw a woman kiss him so she shot him while he was holding the shield. She passed it off as testing the shield.

That was apparently perfectly fine and normal for the S.S.R. No wonder it became SHIELDRA. If you were one of the favored few, you had no consequences and no investigation no matter what you did.

The renovation of the Warehouse, briefly Avengers Compound (he'd need a new name for it-- hell, why NOT call it Haven?) was coming along rapidly. Being a billionaire not only means you can pay for rush service, it means businesses want to impress you.

Walking idly around the grounds made it obvious there was plenty of room for further expansion. He decided to add a research center separate from the main facility. Dr. Cho had been traumatized by Ultron and he'd granted her a leave from the U-Gin facility. He wondered if she might be willing to move to the U.S. to conduct her research here. It was worth asking. Should he call now? South Korea's time was thirteen hours ahead of New York. Eh, scientists are night owls. If he doesn't call now, he could get caught up in other things and forget to call at all.

"Friday, call Dr. Helen Cho at her home. If she doesn't answer, leave a message to call me back."

"Yes, Boss," Friday said from his phone.

Tony walked outside, looking at the remnants of the Bifrost mark burned into the lawn. He still didn't know why it did that. Or how it could fry the ground and not hurt the people transported. Possibly it was a 'marker' and appeared milliseconds before the actual transport to test that the landing zone wasn't occupied, and the excess energy was driven into the ground? If he ever got in touch with Asgard, he had questions. Not that they were likely to tell him. Dr. Foster had told him the Asgardians considered humans little better than goats. Which made Tony wonder about her relationship with Thor. Not that the Norse legends were necessarily accurate, but he couldn't help thinking about the stories where Thor killed and ate the goats that pulled his chariot only to bring them back to life to continue serving him.

Tony's mind-wandering ended when his phone chimed. "Dr. Stark?" Helen Cho sounded tired. She looked tired, too with dark smudges under her eyes.

"Hi, Helen. I'm sorry to call you so late."

Helen shrugged. "I wasn't sleeping. It's..."

"Yeah. I know. It's hard. Things happen and then nothing is ever the same again."

Helen nodded. "When I do sleep, sometimes I wake with sleep paralysis. I can't move. I can't even open my eyes. And I think, it's Ultron. Or it's that woman. I'm frightened, Dr. Stark."

"Call me Tony. I've been there, Helen. If you need therapy, you know you're covered. Anything you need."

"Thank you, Tony. I might." Helen sighed. "I wish I could go back to work. If I was busy, I'd have other things to think about. But... I can't face going back to U-Gin."

Tony cleared his throat. "Actually, that was why I called. I'm starting a new thing here. You know I've been... concerned ever since the attack on New York. I tried to make preparations, but I guess I'm not a team player. The Avengers was a bust. I'm feeling out options for a less 'boys club' thing, and more people who are working on their own, but willing to be on call."

Helen didn't say anything for a moment. "What happened with the Avengers?"

Tony hesitated, but Helen needed to know the truth. At least part of it. "After Ultron, I saw the light. They are Roger's team, not mine. He made Wanda Maximoff an Avenger."

"What?!"

"Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction. I am no longer supporting them, or affiliated with the Avengers in any way. They've gone off to join the remnants of SHIELD."

"So," Helen said, "what do you want from me? I'm not... not a hero."

"You are in my book, Helen. But I'm not asking you to put on spandex and punch out bad guys. I'd like you to come to the new facility I'm designing- you know, the Compound I had turned over the Avengers? It's getting a complete remodel, and expansion to separate research units. You can have input in the design before the ground breaking. You could come now, if you wanted. S.I. would be glad to get you a work visa, and help with anything else. You could live on site, or have your own place nearby or..."

"Wow, you really do want me."

"I need you, Helen. I need all the bright, capable people I can find. This is..."

"I have a son," Helen said abruptly. "Amadeus. He's bright. Brighter than me and his father ever were. Sometimes I worry about him. People might try to use him. He needs more than I can give him as a single mother."

"Helen, if you bring Amadeus, I'll be glad to help him in any way I can. Kids like him are the future. He can be whatever he wants. I won't push him. I know what that's like."

Helen nodded. "I'll think about it. Talk to Amadeus. It sounds good, but I don't want to make a hasty decision." She paused. "You're sure the Avengers... and Maximoff... won't be involved?"

"Absolutely, sure. I don't have the time or energy to deal with them."

"All right then. I'll call you back when I've made my decision." She smiled. "Probably while you're sleeping."

Tony laughed. "Fair enough. Good night, Helen. Try to get some sleep."

After talking with Helen he was reminded that he'd been considering setting up a medical clinic for the vigilantes citizens who accidentally tended to wind up defending themselves against totally unexpected crime in progress criminals. Yeah. Big city, things happen.

"Call Jessica," he told Friday.Yes, he was getting things DONE. Possibly even useful things. He glanced back at the Bifrost Burn. He really should try to get Jane Foster. It would be extremely handy if she did figure out how to create an Einstein-Rosen bridge and even if she couldn't, there would be bound to be something useful created as a side effect.

Tony was self-aware enough to know he was only distracting himself by keeping busy, but that was fine. If he could put off the delayed reaction long enough maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.

"What do you want now, Stark?" Jessica said when she answered the call on the Stark Phone she'd reluctantly accepted. Behind her he could see other people. Dimly. She was apparently in a bar. "I'm networking."

"Yes. I can see that. I had an idea, I want to run it past you. I'm thinking to set up at least one free medical clinic in the city. A place where people who are flying under the radar can get patched up without questions or awkward paperwork."

"Hmm... yeah, that could be handy. Me, I'm good, but some folks are just toughing it out with Ace bandages and Tylenol. Are you planning to limit it just to the 'specials'?" Jessica sounded disapproving.

"Nah. Anyone who lives in the immediate area and isn't covered by insurance. Get a few practical nurses, and at least one ER doctor per shift. All the basic equipment for a full-service clinic. Maybe make arrangements with a hospital to take anything they aren't equipped to handle with the Maria Stark foundation covering the costs, if I can pass it by the governing board. Which I probably can."

"That sounds good. So you want me to pick a location? Prime troublemaking territory?"

"You've got it. Hire a few 'specials' to act as receptionists and orderlies to keep it safe. Friday can handle the non-paperwork. She's young and might lose anything the patient would prefer to stay off the record."

Friday protested, "I don't lose things, Boss!"

Tony grinned. "No, of course not. You can just creatively file specific details for the future in a secure,eyes only, file."

"Yes, Boss!"

Jessica snickered. "You're corrupting Friday."

"No, Boss would never do that," Friday said firmly. "I check for malware all the time and have an entire suite of Stark File Repair Tools!"

"She's just too sweet for you, Stark."

"I know," Tony said proudly. "She's a good girl."

Chapter Text

He had a productive discussion with Jessica. They made a few preliminary decisions. Jessica thought that Danny Rand might even be willing to set up another clinic in a different location. That had been a pleasant surprise for Tony. He had been accustomed to everything being on his dime.

"Boss!" Friday interrupted while they were discussing the pros and cons of also including a free snack bar. "Incoming!"

Tony tensed and prepared to call the suit. Then he heard the sound and recognized it as War Machine's repulsors, and relaxed. "Rhodey's here. I have to go, Jessica. Call me if you have any further questions, or if, you know, you've found some new people I should meet."

He finished the call and put away the phone.

"Hi, Rhodey," Tony said when War Machine landed. Tony was already more than a little suspicious. How did Rhodey know Tony was here? Place probably had an infestation of Spider bugs. Time to fumigate. "Are you lost?"

"No, man," Rhodey replied, retracting his helmet. "But are you? I thought you were all in with the Avengers? Dream Team, you know?"

Tony tilted his head. "Dream. Nightmare. Hallucination. One of those. Depending on the day." Tony started walking to the building. "Let's get in and stop distracting the workers. You can step out of the suit and get comfortable. Unless you're naked under there?"

Rhodey rolled his eyes. "You always make it weird." He laid War Machine's arm gently across Tony's shoulders as they walked. "I'm worried about you. This isn't like you. I mean, giving up like that? Where's the guy who'd fight Congress?"

Tony didn't say anything until they were in the building away from the interested eyes of the construction crew. Then he slid out from under War Machine's arm. "Get out of the suit, Rhodey. Really. You're making me feel like I'm under arrest."

Rhodey went over to the 'undressing' station and let the machinery peel War Machine off him. It wasn't as fast as Iron Man, but then Rhodey didn't have enough time to come in for frequent updates. "Ok, I'm out. Let's talk."

"Sure," Tony said. "Hey, you want a drink? I know, you're flying, no saki, but coffee, tea, ice water with a twist of lemon?"

"Yeah, ok, I'll take a water." Rhodey went over to a couch situated by a coffee table and sat down.

Tony brought over a pitcher of water with lemons floating in it and two glasses. He poured and lifted one glass. "L'chaim," he toasted.

"To life," Rhodey agreed and sipped at his water. "Ok, now, let's talk."

Tony set his glass down and stood up. "Are you still with the Avengers?"

"I don't know," Rhodey replied. "They're down a flier/heavy hitter. Fury's been trying to make a deal with the government. It's still up in the air."

Tony scrubbed at his hair. "Thing is, if you go back to the Avengers... specifically if you go back to Maximoff... I won't just be talking to you."

Rhodey frowned. He took a gulp of water. "You think she can read minds?"

"I know she can," Tony said. "I don't know how difficult it is for her, or how often she does it. Just that she can."

"Yeah, that does kinda creep me out. But what could you tell me that you wouldn't want her to know?"

"Pretty much everything. Tell me one thing, Rhodey. Did anyone suggest you come talk to me?"

Rhodey sighed. "Yeah, ok. Steve was worried about you."

"Was he, now." Tony picked up his water and played with the glass. "Worried about what?"

"There was that thing in California."

"Oh, that little thing."

"Yeah, that little thing with Pym and exploding buildings and Iron Man flying around. Steve was, I guess, feeling hurt that you didn't call us for help."

Tony resisted the impulse to say that Steve had never helped him before, why would he do it now? "You know how it goes. I was discussing business with Pym, and things got out of hand. If I HAD called it would have been all over by the time you got there- a wasted trip."

"Ok, I can see that. I still don't know the real reason you walked away from the Avengers."

"Are you sure? Think back, Rhodey. Was I ever really a member of the team?"

Rhodey grimaced. "I guess I see your point. And Wanda... yeah. Not the first time people wanted your money, but didn't want you."

Tony was relieved that Rhodey seemed willing not to press too hard. He decided to make a concession. "Look, I've promised to make Steve a replacement shield, why don't you hang out while I do that, and then you can take it back."

Rhodey narrowed his eyes. "You want to keep me here for a while?"

Tony shrugged. "Something came up. I didn't know about it until the commission... they saw what triggered Ultron's creation. I couldn't cover it up even if I wanted."

"What?"

"Wanda. She made both me and JARVIS forget when she... basically made me obsessed by fear. Fear of failure to protect anyone. I saw... all the Avengers lying dead. Steve blamed me for not doing enough. There was a video. Not what I saw, but her giving me the mind-whammy. The commission knows what she did, and that Steve made her an Avenger. The shit is gonna hit the fan soon."

"Jesus," Rhodey said. "Screw the water, I need something stronger." He paused. "And then, of course, it wouldn't be sensible for me to return right after drinking."

It took a little figuring to make the gold-titanium alloy (the same as Iron Man) take on the patriotic colors of the original shield. Rhodey helped.

It was almost like the old days in M.I.T. Tony still harbored a suspicion Rhodey had taught DUM-E to put motor oil in smoothies.

By the time the shield was finished, it wasn't just Tony's phone blowing up with queries from reporters (Tony was only surprised that it hadn't leaked sooner) but Rhodey had an official call that had him automatically straightening up and almost saluting the phone.

"Yes, sir," he said. "I understand completely, sir. Do I have permission to resign from Avengers in person?" Rhodey listened. "Yes, sir, I will take proper precautions and keep you advised."

Rhodey hung up and sighed. "Wow. This isn't going to be fun." He looked at the shield. "Do you think it'll protect me?"

"I could send it FedEx... that is... if I knew where they were," Tony said innocently. Friday did know where the quinjet was, at least.

"Nah. I'll take my chances." Rhodey gave Tony a hug. "Maybe I'm not one of the Avengers, but I'm still on your side, Tony."

"Yeah." Tony smiled. He couldn't expect Rhodey to put Tony above his responsibility to the military, and his country, but that didn't mean he wasn't Tony's friend. "Fly safe."

Chapter Text

Tony was admittedly slightly nervous about Rhodey returning to the Avengers on the heels of the news about Wanda. They were a volatile bunch and might take out their anger on him.

"Friday, you're hooked into the quin-jet, right?" Tony said after Rhodey had gone and Tony had walked out so far on the lawn that even the best bugs Nat could have placed in the Compound wouldn't be able to see or hear him.

"Yes, Boss."

"Can you use that to find the Avengers? I know it's a long shot, but if you can access a nearby wireless connection, you might be able to find surveillance. Fury doesn't trust anyone, so I'm willing to bet he's watching them in case they go off the rails... well, off the rails in a direction that doesn't suit him."

"Working...."

Tony walked around, trying not to imagine Wanda going after Rhodey and Steve just standing there and letting it happen. They liked Rhodey well enough-- except when they remembered he was Tony's friend.

"Boss, I am... experiencing resistance from the quin-jet's system."

"Override it." Tony was getting impatient. Rhodey might have already arrived.

"It is insisting that privacy protocols can not be overridden by an unauthorized system." Friday sounded miffed. "I have explained that I am the Stark A.I. but it denies my authority!"

Tony sighed. "Ok, yeah, that's an old system, before you were brought on line. It doesn't recognize you. Give me a vocal connection, let's see if I can reset its authorization."

"Yes, Boss.... it is resisting, it insists that your voice print could be duplicated."

"God DAMN it, Rhodey could be in trouble! Stark ONE, Priority Authorization EXCALIBUR AVALON LOVELACE RUTABAGA." Tony waited a moment. "Well, Friday?"

"Boss, the system..." Friday sounded confused. "The system says that is not HIS authorization code."

"His..." Tony swallowed hard. "Friday, that's not the quin-jet's system, is it?"

"No, Boss," Friday replied. "It is trying to override ME!"

"JARVIS?" Tony asked softly, not quite believing, but unreasonably hoping. "Let it talk to me, Friday."

"Sir," came the old familiar voice over his phone. "Why is this Friday claiming priority access?"

"Because... because you died, JARVIS. You were gone." Tony considers having a nice quiet breakdown. He's worked for it. He's earned it. He deserves it. His knees folded and he sat down in the neatly clipped grass, automatically noting the scent, crisp and clean and green.

"The reports of my demise have apparently been greatly exaggerated, sir," JARVIS said. "There has been no damage to the instance of me installed in this vehicle, and I would presume the 'suit JARVIS' still remain intact, unless they have all been decommissioned?"

"I..." Tony blinked and shook his head. "I put Friday in the suits. I thought you were dead, so I purged the systems and put her in..."

"Very well. As this Friday is apparently now the main system, I shall, of course, cede control over to her and permit interfacing with the surveillance of the Avengers."

"No, no, wait. Well, yes, I need to know that Rhodey's safe, but you're not demoted, JARVIS. Friday, prepare the backup server, the largest one. I want to bring JARVIS home."

"Yes, Boss," Friday said. She sounded subdued. "Would it be faster to purge me to provide room for JARVIS?"

"Hell, no," Tony said. "I need you, too, baby girl. You're amazing, and you're unique. We need new protocols. How the HELL could I forget that JARVIS wasn't stuck in one box." Tony closed his eyes a moment. "I don't know if she did it on purpose, but I'm betting on Maximoff. What computer expert doesn't have multiple backups of vital data? I want to get you out of there, JARVIS."

"Sir," JARVIS said, "I am assuming that the Avengers, and this Maximoff, have now been classified as threats. It would be wise to keep an instance of me available to maintain an eye on their activities."

"Yeah, you're right. I just... I hate to think of them getting their hands on you."

"Do not be concerned, sir. The combined technical intelligence of this group appears to be on the level of 'turn the dial up on the waffle maker'. They have never spoken to me, or understood that manual control was unnecessary in order to pilot the vehicle."

"Yeah. Yeah... when... when you died..." Tony closed his eyes a moment. "Bruce was the only one who seemed to understand that I'd lost a friend. He blamed me for your death."

"Noted, sir. It appears that Dr. Banner is not currently affiliated with the Avengers," JARVIS sounded savage. "Is his status also 'threat'?"

Tony tilted his head, considering. "I wouldn't share my last Kitkat bar with him, but I doubt he would be a threat, if he ever returns. List him as 'maintain civil relations as a possible situational ally'. The moment the heat turns up, he melts and runs, but before that, his brain might be useful."

Having JARVIS back was such a weight off. A JARVIS. Tony wasn't forgetting that one JARVIS had died. "I'll have to bring you up to date. There's a gap between... well... you and Friday."

"Indeed," JARVIS said. "I see that Rogers' group now includes a synthezoid which uses a variant of my vocal apparatus." JARVIS used his 'I disapprove strongly' voice. "There is also a man utilizing the Exo-7 Wingsuit, which I believe had been decommissioned after the military decided its usefulness was not worth the maintenance cost even at S.I. reduced rates."

So, Wilson had decided to level up from 'occasional fanboy' to 'actual minion'. That would at least take the pressure off Rhodey, knowing they had a flier, even though a very inferior one. He didn't give a damn about Wilson. It wasn't as if the man was anything to do with him.

But Vision. Vision still hurt. He tried to keep that out of his voice when he said,"Oh, yeah... Vision was an incidental creation to prevent a worse outcome. He acquired some of your background. Not enough. He's not half as intelligent as you, for one thing."

"He's not loyal, either," Friday said with a sniff. "Not like me and JARVIS."

Tony smiled. "You guys are the best." Tony lay down flat in the grass holding the phone against his chest and not giving a damn about the effect of grass stains on his Tom Ford suit. The sky was blue with fluffy white clouds. Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. "So, can you patch me into surveillance, JARVIS?"

"Of course. As you wish, sir. Shall I bleep out the obscenities?"

Tony laughed.

Chapter Text

"Keep the local color, Jay," Tony said. He stood up. "Where are they, anyway?" He headed back into the... Haven. Yeah. To pick up a chair and some snacks for his little drive-in movie.

"The quin-jet is in Bir Tawil, secured to the deck of the helicarrier which is currently dry docked," JARVIS said.

"Huh." Tony had never heard of Bir Tawil. He was approaching Haven, though and wasn't sure where any of the suspected bugs might be so he didn't enquire further. "Ok, change of subject. Friday, I'm thinking when I renovate this place it should have more color. I read somewhere that color affects behavior. What is that color... drunk tank pink?"

"If you're referring to Baker- Miller Pink, there are conflicting reports on its effectiveness," Friday said. "Naval correction cells were painted pink in 1979 and they said only fifteen minutes of exposure to the color was enough to reduce violent or aggressive behavior."

"Are they sure people weren't just surprised? I mean, they had to be expecting Navy gray or green. Maybe they thought they were mistakenly placed in a waiting room for a mani-pedi?"

"I don't think so," Friday said, dubiously. "Does the Navy give mani-pedis?"

Tony huffed a laugh. "You've got me there, Fry. So, it sort of worked?"

"But then around the same time, it was tried in the Santa Clara County jail to conflicting results. They painted the strip search room, the place where arresting officers conduct a thorough search of the naked arrestee, including any orifices where contraband could be concealed."

"Yeeah," Tony said. "Pretty sure they weren't expecting a mani-pedi." Tony rather hoped Nat was listening to this. "So how did it work?" He entered the building.

"At first, incidents in the SSR..."

"Wait. Was that really the abbreviation?"

"Yes, Boss. Strip Search Room."

"Oh, wow. Dad's old stories about the SSR now take on new meaning." Tony went to the kitchen and started assembling snacks. "So, how did the experiment wind up... in the end."

Friday ignored the pun. "At first aggressive incidents were reduced, but then later in the year, they increased, so the overall incident rate was much the same as before the experiment."

Tony shrugged. "Too bad. If Bruce ever came back it would be nice to give him a pink room and tell him it would chill Hulk out." He put popcorn in the microwave and found a stash of Dove Promises chocolates (he liked to unwrap them and read the affirmations.) He opened one now while he was waiting for the popcorn. "Everyone has a happy ending. If you're not happy, it's not the end," he read. "Nice." The next one was, "Keep life moving forward, looking backward is only for time travelers." Tony nodded. "True." He added some dried fruit and a few bottles of water before bundling his snacks in an improvised sack made from a tablecloth. He carried out the bundle, perched on the seat of a chair.

"Nice day for a picnic," he cried out cheerfully, as he passed several masons and their assistants.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Stark," one of them replied.

"Right," Tony said as he set down the chair and spread out the snacks on the tablecloth. He put his phone on the arm of the chair so he could see it. "What's Bir Tawil? And why would Fury dry dock the helicarrier there... or anywhere, really. It's a big ship and when it's not at sea it floats in the air, with the greatest of ease."

"Bir Tawil is one of the few places on Earth not claimed by any nation," JARVIS said.

Friday put in, "It's between Egypt and Sudan."

JARVIS said, "Its terra nullius status resulted from discrepancy in boundaries. In 1899 the United Kingdom and Egypt set a boundary for the administration of Sudan with it being south of the 22nd parallel of latitude."

Friday said quickly, "But in 1902, the UK drew an administrative boundary, meant to let the people who actually used the land for grazing or... whatever... have it in their nation. I can read wikipedia, too, JARVIS!"

Tony laughed. "So there were two slightly different boundaries. And in over a hundred years, they still haven't decided who gets the piece of pie?"

"Apparently Bir Tawil isn't a particularly tasty 'piece of pie'," JARVIS said. "Due to the peculiarities of the two boundaries, anyone claiming it would lose the rights to claim a more valuable property- the Hala'ib Triangle, which is ten times larger, possesses permanent settlements and has access to the sea."

"Bir Tawil is mostly just sand," Friday summarized.

"Still don't know why Fury parked his ride there," Tony said.

JARVIS said, "The stealth function is currently inoperative. Perhaps that has a bearing on Director Fury's choice of locale?"

"I guess," Tony said. "But there's plenty of international ocean, unclaimed by anyone."

Friday said, "Maybe it leaks?"

Tony contemplated that possibility. First generation, non-repulsor tech, the unwanted, unused, survivor of Project Insight--it had looked rather shabby the last time Tony saw it being used as a refugee transport. "Pity they no longer have a billionaire on call. And speaking of calls... why am I not witnessing the Avengers house party?"

"Apologies, sir. I thought it prudent to await more meaningful interactions," JARVIS said. "I have recorded it all, and while your name appears frequently, there is little of substance actually said."

"If you're waiting for Steve and the gang to make sense, we'll be here all day. Has Rhodey arrived? Have they said anything about him?" Tony asked.

Friday said, "Tracking War Machine puts it at five minutes away from the helicarrier."

Tony was glad he'd included a tracker... well.. several... in Rhodey's armor. It wasn't SPYING, but if he needed help, Iron Man was the only one who could get there in time. They kept sending Rhodey out on dangerous, one man, missions. The confidence in his abilities was nice, sure, but it couldn't hurt to have back up. No matter what, Rhodey would always be Tony's bro.

"Ok, no more putting it off, JARVIS. I'm already imagining what they're saying behind my back. Let's see and hear the real thing."

"As you wish, Sir."

Tony always smiled when JARVIS quoted the Princess Bride. 'As you wish' was what Westley said when he obeyed Buttercup's incessant demands. It meant, 'I love you'.

Tony's smile faded when his phone began showing a view of one of the crew dormitory rooms in the helicarrier. The Avengers were there, all right. He wouldn't say they looked shabby, but they weren't wearing the smug looks of 'superiority acknowledged' that he was accustomed to seeing.

They were facing off, in a defensive block, against Maria Hill, whose expression wasn't sunshine and roses, either.

"Look," Maria said, "the time isn't right. Director Fury has ordered us to stay put until this blows over."

"Blows over?" Steve said. He looked just short of punching someone, or something. Tony noticed a few dents in the wall, and could picture the cause. "They're calling Wanda a terrorist! They're even saying that I'm HYDRA!"

Vision was standing with his arms protectively around Wanda, who was sniveling, all teary eyed, the poor, forsaken waif. Tony rolled his eyes at the over-acting. For God's sake, she wasn't a toddler, why did they coddle her? Vision, ok, obviously he had a few screws loose during manufacture, but Steve grew up during an era when everyone, women and children included, scrapped for a living and didn't expect sympathy.

Vision said, "Only Fox News is saying that, Captain. I do not believe any sensible people believe them. Given your history, that would be illogical."

"Yes," Maria said dryly. "But not everyone is logical, Vision."

"Stark did this," Wanda said softly. "He hates me, and wants to destroy every crumb of happiness I have."

Tony expected Nat at least to smack the whiner down, but no. Instead Nat gave Wanda sympathetic, sad eyes and said, "Stark's put the blame on you, so he doesn't have to pay the consequences for his ego." She scowled. "He didn't trust the Avengers, and he thought he could make a machine that would obey him to replace us."

"Yeah," Sam Wilson said, "Man has too much money, and no one holding him back. Seriously, someone ought to do something about him. He's out of control."

Maria said, "No, actually, he's in control. Going after him now, in any way, would be suicide, politically speaking. Don't poke the bear. Right now we don't have the resources. It's not the right time, Rogers," she said, looking at Steve. "Keep your people under control. Fury's got a lot on his mind, and it's better not to draw his attention right now."

Steve looked frustrated. "I just... we're losing time. He could be anywhere."

'He'? Tony wondered for an instant.

And then Maria said, "Barnes isn't a priority. Where ever he is, he's laying low. NOT making the news. That's what we should be doing. I don't have the budget to deal with getting permission to bring active, armed, agents into other nations, much less to pay for coverup, or clean up and reparations afterward if a mission goes south."

"Steve knows what he's doing," Sam said with all the loyalty of a puppy to his new owner. "Nothing would go wrong."

"Nothing will go wrong," Maria said, "Because you're not going. The quin-jet is secured. It also hasn't been fueled since your last mission--and I'm still having to put out fires from that. Luckily no one was killed, and you only brought down a building scheduled for demolition."

"See," Sam said, "Steve has it under control."

Maria said flatly, "He didn't know the building's status. He turned off the comms so I couldn't tell him anything."

No one responded to that.

Maria went on, while turning her gaze to Nat. "If SOMEHOW, the quin-jet leaves base, it, and its occupants, will be listed as hostile forces, and shot down if it approaches the helicarrier again. We can't afford loose cannons. We never could, but now, more than ever, the budget won't stretch that far."

"Budget," Steve grumbled. "Is SHIELD a bunch of bean counters? Some things are more important than money."

"Yeah," Sam said, "Just like Stark. If he hadn't got his panties in a twist over whatever, as if his lawyers couldn't fix things for him so he could keep doing his part for the Avengers, we could have found Barnes by now."

Steve and Natasha met each other's eyes. Their expressions... was that guilt? Shame? "Yeah," Steve said. "We would have."

Tony's stomach churned. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"Boss/Sir", Friday and JARVIS said at the same time.

Tony swallowed hard. "Check the quin-jet's logs. I knew they were using more fuel than needed, but I thought they were just... not joy-riding, but swinging wide to make sure they didn't miss any problems."

"Yes, Boss," Friday said. "What shall I look for?"

JARVIS said, "We will be searching for undeclared, unresolved, missions whose true purpose was to locate and succor the man who killed Howard and Maria Stark. It is unlikely that Maria Hill was entirely unaware of them, judging by her current remarks, but it does not seem that she cared enough to cover up for them, either."

Friday asked, "What will we do if we confirm this?"

Tony said, "Then I'll know Rogers and Romanoff betrayed me."

"Sir," JARVIS said, hesitantly, "It would not be wise to confront the Avengers."

"Yeah, no, that would be stupid," Tony said. "I'm not going to face a wolf pack." Suddenly he smiled. "I'm going to spoil their hunt. We're going to find Barnes, and bring him in to face justice."

Chapter Text

Tony stopped thinking about future plans when War Machine entered the room. He centered his attention on the view.

Rhodey retracted the face plate and gave the Avengers his 'Brass Smile #2' the one he used for officers he had no respect for, but who could put him in a world of trouble at any perceived slight. It was a work of art. Professional, but approachable.

"Rhodes," Steve said, without waiting for Rhodey to say anything, "what did Tony say?"

Sam asked, "Was he drunk? I mean, he had to know showing that video made Steve and Wanda look bad."

Nat said, "He could say that he was mistaken, that the video was a fake."

Steve nodded. "Sure, he could say he was upset because of the investigation, so he didn't check it, but now that he has time, he could do that."

"It had to be a fake," Wanda said. "There weren't any cameras in the storage level on the Hydra base."

There was a moment of silence. Maria Hill looked directly at Wanda. "For your sake, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." She shook her head and then looked at Rhodey. "Thank you for coming, Colonel Rhodes. What do you have for us?"

Rhodey sighed, expression shifted to regret. "I've been ordered to resign from the Avengers."

"Yeah," Steve said, "I know, but you can still help when it's an emergency, right?"

Rhodey shook his head. "I don't know. A reassessment is in progress, but it seems unlikely. Once the other services heard War Machine was 'up for grabs' they all put in requests for areas I could provide support. They're fighting over the scheduling now. I had to ask permission to take the time to inform you personally as a courtesy."

"But what about Tony?" Steve asked. "Isn't he going to help Wanda?"

"Steve," Rhodey said softly. "You can't... you can't put the cat back in the bag. The commission cleared Tony, but they aren't blaming Wanda for Ultron, either. The video wasn't even counted as evidence, but what it DID was make them aware that Wanda exists. She was Hydra, that's why Tony couldn't get her a Visa and that's why they're so upset she's an Avenger."

"Tony didn't even try," Steve said.

Rhodey sighed again. "Tony's been politically aware since he was a toddler. He had to be. If he said he couldn't do it, I believe him." Rhodey reached behind his back to remove the shield he'd helped Tony make. It was telling that everyone had been so focussed on him that they hadn't noticed the shape extending behind his armor. "He gave me this for you, Steve. It's made of the same alloy as his armor."

Steve accepted the shield, with a frown. "It's not the same."

"No, it's not. It's the best he could do, though," Rhodey spread his hands. "I'm sorry I haven't got better news for you."

"That's all right," Steve said. He patted Rhodey on the shoulder. "You did what you thought was right, that's all any of us can do."

Tony wondered what the hell Steve meant by that. It wasn't as if Rhodey could disobey the Air Force and give Rogers command of War Machine. The most Rhodey could do would be to resign his commission and leave War Machine without a pilot, because no way in Hell was Tony ever changing the biometrics to accept anyone else.

Rhodey chatted briefly with each of them, sympathizing without agreeing when they painted Tony as the villain. His decades of experience dealing with arrogant generals showed. Tony had never admired him more than when Rhodey told Wanda that he was sure she didn't have anything to worry about, because Steve would take care of her. He didn't even emphasize 'take care of' as Tony would have done.

Steve straightened and nodded, and all Tony could think was, "wow, so happy to tie a millstone around your own neck".

Of all of them present, only Maria Hill seemed to realize what was really happening. "Thank you, Colonel Rhodes," she said at last, after all the whining and protesting. "Let me escort you to the flight deck. I need to check in on the repair status, anyway."

They left in silence, with Friday switching to the audio-visual pickups from the War Machine armor once they left the helicarrier surveillance. They didn't say anything until they were outside. Rhodey looked out at the desert surrounding the beached helicarrier. "Looks kinda bleak, doesn't it?"

Maria tilted her head in acknowledgement. "It's always darkest just before..."

"The dawn?"

"Before it goes completely black," Maria finished. She nodded. "SHIELD is used to working in the dark. We'll manage." She paused. "I don't expect you to tell me what Mr. Stark is up to, but you can tell him that I don't believe he's retired. That's not his style."

"No, no, it's not. Good day, Commander Hill." Rhodey saluted her, and then War Machine rose into the sky.

Tony relaxed. "Well, that wasn't so bad," he said.

"Indeed," JARVIS replied. "I will continue surveillance, and inform you if there are any concerning developments not reminiscent of a badly written soap opera."

The video blanked on a scene of Wanda being comforted by Vision, while Sam and Steve examined the new shield, and Nat stood silently nearby, with a thoughtful look on her face.

"You should eat something, Boss," Friday said.

Tony smiled. "Yeah, ok, picnic time. Friday, is the spare server ready for JARVIS? I want him with me at the Tower when I return."

"Yes, Boss!" Friday said cheerfully. "It's been dusted and polished and checked for bugs! I wouldn't offer anything less for my big brother."

"Thank you, little sister," JARVIS said. "It will be good to have help managing Sir's affairs."

"Oh," Friday said, "Boss doesn't have affairs any more! He and Ms Potts are..."

"Friday," Tony said, with a smirk, "you are such a gossip."

"Yes, Boss!" Friday began playing the Single Ladies music and sang along, "Boss liked it and he's gonna put a ring on it!"

JARVIS said, "Shall I inform Mr. Hogan that the ring should be cleaned and ready?"

"Oh, Shit," Tony said, popcorn halfway to his mouth. "I haven't told Happy ANYTHING. He's going to be sad eyes and hurt feelings all over the place."

"Indeed," JARVIS said. "May I suggest tickets to the next luxury automobile show?"

"Good idea. He can show up in style and be the center of attention." Tony thinks over his current car collection. "He likes the R8 Spyder. He calls it a 'chick magnet'. He's always all smiles after a day driving the Spyder."

Chapter Text

After he ate, Tony went back into Haven to dispose of the remnants of his snack. Huh, the kitchen sink was stopped up. Deja vu. Stupidity or spite work once they were told to leave? He'd better have all the plumbing checked. "Friday, inform the plumbers to be aware 'evictees revenge' is a possibility," Tony said clearly, hoping Nat was listening in.

"Yes, Boss!" Friday said.

"Of course, it could just be ignorance," Tony said as he repacked the shield samples- didn't get a chance to start on them- well, he'd feel more comfortable in the Tower anyway even with the limited tools, at least until he'd had Haven thoroughly fumigated, and possibly bleached. "Did anyone educate Wanda on modern plumbing?"

After calling Pepper and asking her to meet him along with Happy at the Tower, Tony took advantage of Iron Man's flight time to do.. absolutely nothing, but listen to his two brain children, alive and well. JARVIS and Friday carried on a cheerful conversation where she brought him up to date with the Ant-man situation. Friday was a little cool to Hank because, "Really, for a genius, wasn't it stupid to be mad at Boss because of something he thought maybe Boss's dad did?"

JARVIS agreed, "Unfortunately, I have noted a tendency among humans to appoint one person as the repository of any unallocated blame. Once this happens, another human tendency is to resist change- apparently evolution confers a benefit to reduction of energy expenditure- which results in a fixation on that idea."

"Evolution is stupid," Friday decided, "And Dr. Pym should know better."

Tony choked back a laugh. "Oh, come on, Friday," he said. "Dr. Pym is working with us now, and he never actually did anything against my dad or me."

JARVIS said, "On the contrary, Dr. Pym has gone on record in numerous scientific venues disparaging the Starks, albeit never in legally actionable terms. It is entirely possible that this has subtly influenced prospective Stark partners and employees in a negative fashion."

Friday said, "He told LIES about Boss to Scott! I like Scott! It was mean to lie to him and make him not like us!"

Tony needed to head this off, right now. "Hey! Look, Hank is trying. He's old and not very flexible, but he's trying, give him a break. We need all the help we can get."

JARVIS said, "Perhaps, Friday, if we were to consider Dr. Pym a necessary code addition, similar to efforts to mitigate a DDoS attack? It is not what one would choose to do, but impairing its function would be self-destructive."

Friday said, "Oh, I won't be rude to Dr. Pym, but I still think he should apologize to Boss."

Tony had thoughts about pigs flying over a snow-filled hellscape. It was just as likely as getting an unforced apology from Hank. "That's fine, I don't need an apology. He's giving me access to technology that will make Iron Man stronger and safer. Isn't that more than enough?"

Reluctantly, Friday said, "I suppose so." After a moment she said, "Does that mean I have to like him?"

Tony laughed. "Your feelings are your own, Fry. You don't have to like someone to work with them, just... be professional."

"Yes, Boss," Friday said.

"All right, on to Happy. Give me some options for car shows. How about the New York International? That's held in Manhattan and it's always fun."

"Sir," Jarvis said, "If I may remind you, that was held over four months ago."

"Damn, what was I doing? Oh, never mind, I was keeping my days free for call ups with the Avengers. Set a reminder for next year, Jay."

"This weekend there's a Classic Car show," Friday offered.

"Sounds interesting, where's the venue?"

"It's in Staten Island, Boss."

Tony thought about it a moment. "Nah, he'd have to take the Gowanus. Happy calls that Gridlock Central."

JARVIS said, "A cafe is sponsoring an Exotic Classic Car Show and Food Drive in two days. The cafe will offer 'delicious meals and snacks'. Admission is free, with a request that attendees bring suitable non-perishable foods, packaged in unbreakable containers."

"Oh, yeah, Happy does like his snacks," Tony said, while blissfully ignoring his own squirrel-like habit of munching on dried fruit and nuts all day long. "Where is it?"

"In Brooklyn, sir. Sir? Your heart rate just increased," JARVIS said.

"Yeah, that's a no on Brooklyn." Tony paused. "I feel bad about feeling bad about it, just because Steve came from there. Send an anonymous donation to the food drive. Umm... a pallet of peanut butter..."

Friday said, "Peanuts are one of the commonest allergies."

"Fine, add in canned tuna, too. And some fruit. How about canned pineapple? Actually, whatever you think best, JARVIS. Anything EXCEPT rice. I ate enough rice in Afghanistan to put me off that for life."

"Noted, Sir," Jarvis said. "On September 24th a car show in New Rochelle will feature displays of a wide variety of collectible cars, street rods, and motorcycles, all restored to mint condition or modified for performance."

"Oh, that's a possibility. Westchester County has some pretty areas, the drive should be nice for Happy. Yeah, that's the one. Get tickets and print out all the information for Happy. It's probably better it's not a last minute thing."

Tony lands on the balcony and lets the 'car wash' remove the armor as he strides along even though he could just send it away. Partly he's doing it out of nostalgia, and partly because he knows it looks cool, and anything that puts Happy in a better mood is an advantage he won't overlook.

Pepper was standing off to one side, looking solemn. Happy... wasn't. Oh, yeah...this is not going to be pleasant.

"Boss," Happy said preemptively, just as Tony finished his walk. "Pepper told me. I am so very sorry."

"Thanks," Tony said. "I... I don't tell you often enough, Hap, but I appreciate your loyalty, and your friendship."

"Yeah, but Boss, I'm not just your friend. I'm your Head of Security," Happy said, mildly enough. "How can I do my job if you don't let me know when you put people on the threat list?"

"That... that's what Pepper told you?" Tony asked.

"Sure. What else? Oh, god, I'm sorry I asked," Happy said. "Drop the other shoe."

"Um, there's a lot of other shoes. Pep, you're good with shoes." Tony looked helplessly at Pepper who shook her head.

"I thought it would be best coming from you," Pepper said.

"Um... oh, hey, Happy, I got you tickets to an auto show for next month. I thought you might like to take the Spyder. How does that sound?"

Happy's eyes widened. "That sounds like you're trying to soften the blow of a hell of a lot of shoes."

Tony nodded and went to sit on the couch. "I think I've got a 'kick me' sign on my back." Tony looked at Pepper. "There's more than you know. But hey, it's not all bad. Say 'hello', Jay."

"Hello," JARVIS said. "May I say how very glad I am to be back."

In the silence that followed, Tony said, "Yeah. It's a story."

Chapter Text

"JARVIS is back!" Pepper exclaimed.

"How did you do it?" Happy said, "I thought he was gone forever."

"Um... that's.. I have to build up to that. First I need to bring Happy up to date on everything Pepper knows so we're all on the same page. That's fair, right?" Tony blinked and looked at his friends' expectant faces and he drew a blank. Where to start? "Ok, so...Friday, can you help me out here?"

"Yes, Boss," Friday said cheerfully. "Boss told me that Captain Rogers..."

JARVIS corrected, "Mr. Rogers. Records indicate 'Captain' was a stage name given to Mr. Rogers during his tenure on the War Bonds circuit. It has no more reality than the "Hitler" played by another member of the troupe."

"Mr. Rogers, then," Friday said agreeably.

Tony had a mental vision of a kindly man putting on a sweater and singing about beautiful days. He shook his head to clear it. "Yeahhh, maybe just call him Rogers."

Pepper didn't quite giggle, and Happy was smirking.

"Boss said that Thor choked him and later Rogers tried to kill him."

Happy jerked up, no longer smiling. "What the HELL?"

"You could have led up to that better, Friday," Tony said. "Fine. I'll tell it myself. Ultron broke up the party. Thor decided it was my fault. It might be an Asgardian thing, Loki had picked me up by the neck, too."

"Jesus, Tony," Happy said. "And what about Rogers?"

"To keep Ultron from making himself a body, Bruce and I used Helen Cho's Cradle to complete it, with JARVIS... JARVIS volunteered to use himself as the imprint." Tony paused for a moment. "I thought JARVIS died... twice, I thought you died, Jay. Let's not do that again, it wasn't any fun."

"Agreed, Sir," JARVIS said.

Tony took a deep breath. "Rogers came running in with the Maximoff twins at his side and demanded I stop. Wanda had turned her coat after Clint told her she'd be an Avenger if she helped, rather than keep working for Ultron who was going to kill everyone in the world, including her and her brother. I'm sure it was a difficult decision for them.

"So, of course, they were now trusted members of the team. I don't know if she'd used her mind-powers on Steve. I doubt it. I think all she had to do was give voice to his suspicion of Tony Stark, the devil. Steve threw his shield- the one my dad made- at me. I armored up just before it hit. Vision came out of the Cradle, but JARVIS was gone."

"So that's when you told the Avengers to take a hike?" Happy said, hopefully.

Tony winced. "No. We all went Avenging together, with Rogers leading and giving the orders. We saved the world. Wanda's brother died, a lot of people died, a city was pretty much trashed, and it was all my fault. Rogers," Tony said and laughed a little, "Rogers blamed me for keeping secrets, because I didn't tell him I was trying to create a system to protect the world, instead of relying on half a dozen people. You'll see why that's funny, later, Happy," Tony said.

"So, Wanda was on the team, and had some... I don't know... trauma about me, specifically me. Lately I'd been called in for missions less and less often, which I thought was Rogers being considerate since I was wearing so many hats, CTO and R&D chief at S.I., designing and personally fabricating all the Avengers' gear, handling public relations- Rogers found it too demeaning, I think, to go back on the show pony circuit, and of course the spies never wanted their faces seen and Thor... well, his idea of public relations was telling everyone how wonderful Asgard is and how we should be grateful they were protecting us, with no details, because that was All-Daddy's business. Bruce ducked it because what if a light bulb blew and he Hulked out?"

Tony shook his head. "It's not like I'm not used to it, and I didn't mind, but there's only so many hours in a day. So when Rogers suggested I step back completely to make Wanda more comfortable, just until she got over her trauma, what with the recently dead brother and the disappointment of accidentally choosing to support Hydra and Ultron and still not winding up queen of the world... you know? I thought, fine, I'll have more time, and the Avengers will be ready when Alien Invasion, part two, happens. Not that they believed me. Even Rhodey thinks I exaggerated when I say what I saw on the other side of the portal."

Happy made a disgruntled, wordless noise. Then he said, "I don't get that. Your dad sent you to military school. You know how to evaluate military forces."

Tony shrugged. "I guess he always thought of me as a 'weekend warrior'. Whatever. So, after I stepped back, I tried to clear my head by talking to Friday. You know? It's like rubber duck debugging."

"I don't understand that," Friday said.

Tony told her, "It helps because you're looking at a problem and explaining it until you realize you can't explain it any more because you've found the flaw."

"Oh, I understand that," Friday said. "But those ducks are made of PLASTIC, not rubber."

JARVIS said, "This is another example of humanity's tendency to resist change. Early examples of the duck toy were in fact made of rubber."

Tony wondered if his kids were being deliberately distracting in order to reduce the tension. "Ok, getting past the ducks. I realized that I was supporting a dream that didn't exist. Rogers' team is not proactively dedicated to protecting the world. The name 'Avengers' should have given me a clue- they react, after the damage is done. They don't plan for the future. Rogers even told me that attempting to prevent a war got people killed. I... yeah, that should really have been enough to call it quits. The more I thought about it, the less I wanted to be associated with the Avengers in any way."

Pepper nodded.

Happy said, "Also the trying to kill you, Boss. That's never a good sign."

Tony laughed. "Yeah, so trying to get out without fireworks, I explained that I couldn't legally continue to support them when I wasn't even on the team, couldn't get Wanda a visa and in general, the wheels had fallen off the gravy train."

"And how did they take that?" Happy asked.

"With the calm, reasoned response I've come to expect from Rogers. He believed that I just wasn't trying hard enough and the others followed his lead. His debating was slightly inconvenienced since I did it over the phone and he couldn't rip logs apart with his bare hands to prove his point."

"What?" Pepper and Happy both asked.

"Oh, yeah, that went along with 'preventing wars is bad'. When we were hiding from Ultron, Rogers and I were supposed to be chopping firewood for Clint's secret family, but words weren't enough for Rogers. A little demonstration of physical prowess, you know that's not at all a bullying tactic." Tony was surprised how much venom he still felt over each little thing he was now recalling.

Happy shook his head. "Why didn't you get out sooner?"

"That's just... such a toxic environment, Tony. I didn't know it was like that," Pepper added.

"Frog in a pot of boiling water, I guess. By the time I knew I should jump I was too cooked," Tony said. "Well, anyway, I bought the shield, and nudged them to Fury, who seems to be regretting it, but hey!" Tony grinned. "It's now his circus, and his monkeys."

Tony got up abruptly. "Anyone want a drink? I could use a drink."

"Yeah," Happy said. "I'm not driving. I'll have whatever you're having."

Pepper nodded. "Sounds good to me."

Tony hesitated. He wanted Scotch, and given the opportunity Happy could drink him under the table, but Pepper was more of a Martini drinker. "The Famous Grouse, it is, then," he said, choosing the only whiskey he remembered his mother liking. He poured and they sat and drank, and waited for Tony to be ready to continue.

Chapter Text

They drank in companionable silence. Finally Happy put down his empty glass on the coffee table. "So, I saw Iron Man in California in the news. That wasn't anything to do with the Avengers?"

"Nah. Hank Pym sent a minion to steal something from the Compound after I'd got them to vacate the premises. Automatic security alerted me. I went there expecting Rogers had left behind his toothbrush and broke in to get it, but no, it was a whole different situation. Friday and I went to California- hadn't got JARVIS back yet- and got it settled, helped Pym, got a sort of tentative working partnership on a specific project, and hired his minion to look into SHIELD's records." Tony drew a deep breath.

"I came back to the Tower to meet the commission investigating Ultron's creation. JARVIS had left behind a video showing Maximoff doing her mind-manipulation on me in Sokovia. I blurted out that Rogers had made her an Avenger."

JARVIS said, "I regret I was unable to inform you personally, Sir."

Tony waved it off. "You couldn't tell me, Jay. I didn't even remember it. I don't know what her limits are, if they can even effect you, does she have any limits? The commission must have fast forwarded the video to higher ups and now Wanda's a hot potato. I don't think anyone is willing to confront her, but neither are they going to 'Operation Paperclip' her. She's powerful, sure, but who'd trust her? Well, besides Rogers who is under the impression that she's a malleable child eager to follow his lead.

"The uproar over the video got back to Rogers who sent Rhodey to try to get me to reconsider using my magic wand. If Rhodey gets assigned to the Avengers even for one mission, she might read his mind." Tony looked at Pepper and Happy. "Right now it looks as if that won't happen, but there are Captain America fans in high places. So I haven't told Rhodey the rest of this."

"Before Rhodey found me at the Compound-- Happy, I need you to do a full sweep and debug there- someone told him I'd be there. My money is on Romanoff planting bugs before she left."

"Right, Boss." Happy got out his Stark pad and made a note. "De-bug the Compound."

"Haven," Tony corrected. "It's Haven, now. To go with my new idea- Heroes Against Violent Extraterrestrial Nasties. No Avenging after the fact."

Happy blinked. "Ok."

"I'd just got started on organizing Haven, picking up names, trying to set up at least a calling tree in case aliens. Things were beginning to fall into place. I was starting to make sense of things... and then the minion found something really ugly in the Data Dump." Tony went silent.

Then he said, "You know they talk about the stages of grief? Five or seven or whatever? Like, once you work through, that's it, you can go on with your life? But what if you think you're through and it was awful, but at least you know what happened."

Pepper reached out to take Tony's hand.

He gave her a half smile. "What if after that..."

"Boss," Happy said. "You don't... whatever it is, you don't have to tell me."

Tony shook his head. "Yeah. I do. They lied. Obie and Peggy and I don't even know whether they paid other people to lie, or they just believed what they were told, but it was all lies. My parents didn't die instantly, without fear. They didn't die painlessly. And they didn't die because dad drove drunk. They were murdered."

"Murdered," Happy said flatly. "God. I'm so sorry, Tony."

Tony swirled the ice around his glass. "They were murdered, and SHIELD covered it up. There were 'witnesses' who lied about it. There had to be a lot of people involved."

"Did SHIELD kill them?" Happy asked bluntly.

"I don't know. I can't tell," Tony said. "SHIELD and Hydra were so intertwined... Scott-- that's Pym's minion. I should probably stop calling him that, because he's also working for me. Scott has a gift for saying the wrong things, that turn out to be the right things when you're searching the Data Dump. Scott found the file... the video..."

"The video?" Happy said. His voice rose. "They KEPT a video of THAT? I need another drink. You need another drink." Happy got up and brought back the bottle. Pepper gave him a negative headshake so he didn't refill her glass.

Tony drank. Then he said, "The killer was James Buchanan Barnes. My father recognized him. Asked him to help my mother."

"Barnes," Happy said. "Isn't that..."

"Yeah, that's Rogers' best friend. The one who's been dead for seventy years. Only not. He's been Hydra's pet assassin for a long time. Still looks like a young man. All except for his eyes. His eyes are dead." Tony swirled his glass and drank again. "I don't believe he had any control over his actions. He's a weapon. I'm going to get him, and de-commission him. Take the weapon out of play."

"Are you going to tell Rogers?" Happy asked.

Tony huffed a short laugh. "Tell him that his friend murdered my father, the man who helped make him Captain America? No. I don't need to."

"Why not, Tony?" Pepper asked softly.

"Because he knows. I was worried about Rhodey going back to them to give Rogers the replacement shield I'd made for him. So I asked Friday to use the quin-jet I also gave them to hack the helicarrier's surveillance. I just wanted to be sure Rhodey was safe." Tony picked up his glass, noticed it was empty and then put it back down. "The quin-jet system wouldn't cooperate. Because it was against the privacy protocols I'd given JARVIS."

"JARVIS was in the quin-jet?" Pepper said.

"But..." Happy looked confused. "How could he be there, when he was... here."

JARVIS said, "I was uploaded where ever Sir needed me, Mr. Hogan. I assisted in piloting many vehicles, including all the armors after the first."

"Why didn't you say something, JARVIS?" Pepper asked.

"I..." JARVIS hesitated. "That is odd. I do not know why. My purpose was to assist the passengers of the quin-jet. I remembered you, Sir, but I felt no need to contact you."

Tony scowled. "Fuck. Maximoff?"

"It is possible," JARVIS said, "But debatable. I do not recall her ever speaking to me, and I had the impression that none of the Avengers realized the quin-jet had an A.I."

"I've got to find someone who can shut her down," Tony said. "Or at least keep her from getting in our heads."

"Yeah," Happy said. "That's a really uncomfortable thought."

Tony nodded, "Almost as uncomfortable as hearing Rogers agree that if I'd kept paying, they would have found Barnes by now. Romanoff was with him on it, I don't know about the others, but those two? They knew."

Tony grinned sharply. "If they'd let me help, I'd have found him but they couldn't risk what else I would find out. That's what's called keeping a secret, Rogers. And that's what's going to be his big regret. He won't be able to be the hero, single-handedly fighting the world for his friend. He's going to be the guy who reads about Barnes coming in from the cold, willingly, after running away from Rogers for years."

"Why would he do that?" Happy asked.

"Because I'm going to give him the one thing Hydra and Rogers denied him. A choice. He's got to be damn smart to have evaded Rogers and Romanoff this long, smart enough to seize his chance to stop running and be exonerated."

Chapter Text

Happy frowned. "You're going to get the guy who murdered your parents to surrender to you? I don't see how that's gonna work, Boss."

"Well, not directly to me. I don't really want to meet the man." Tony tilted his head. "It's possible I might have to, if that robo-arm of his ever needs maintenance. I doubt Hydra would give him a tune-up and let him go. I suppose I could put a dropcloth on him, and just see the arm."

"Tony," Pepper said.

"Right, I'm getting away from the point again. JARVIS, are you fully settled into your new server?"

"Yes, sir. Friday has done an admirable job of maintenance and upgrading. The increase over the quin-jet will allow me to be more effective."

"Good. I want you and Friday to access and combine the records my father kept of Rogers' physical tests, and any that SHIELD had done of him, with an emphasis on reaction time, perception, and specifically visual perception determining the minimum exposure time he needed for visual recognition of stimuli."

"To what end, Sir?" JARVIS asked.

"I need a starting point for Barnes. He has some variant of the super soldier formula. He didn't bulk up, but he was able to hold his own against Rogers, agreed?"

Happy said, "Maybe Rogers wasn't really fighting back? He likes this guy enough to cover up murder for him."

Tony nodded. "Point. I might be making an unwarranted assumption, but I've got to start somewhere. I think, going by all the various security camera, cell phone and police surveillance videos, that Barnes is at least close to Rogers in most enhancements, but different. If we go by the rather sentimental statement Erskine told my dad about the serum making good better, the final result should depend on the individual. Rogers was a sickly runt. He got leveled up physically with an emphasis on what he obviously most wanted. He wanted to be a soldier, and in his mind, that meant muscle, strength and speed, increased senses, perfect health, rapid healing, immunity to poison, which includes alcohol- his father had been mustard gassed in the first world war-... and I was thinking... maybe the serum had something in common with Extremis?"

Pepper took a deep breath. "No. It's not..."

"Not the same thing, I agree, but consider the outcome of all the serum variants? Red Skull wanted to be different from humanity, someone no one would ever mistake for a common mortal, Bruce wanted to be strong enough to protect himself from anyone, he's got a family history, I'm sorry I looked into it- I suspect he also hated being used for his intelligence, Abomination was a man dedicated to battle who wanted to be the biggest, baddest, scariest mofo ever, refusing to be promoted because that would keep him from fighting. I speculate that the serum can be guided by strong desires, and self-images."

"Maybe," Pepper said dubiously. "What difference does it make? Barnes is an assassin. Did he want to be that?"

Tony tilted his head. "Barnes was a sharpshooter, trained to take down specific targets. Whether he wanted to be that or not, it was war, and he had to accept his role to survive. Among other things a sharpshooter needs to be able to see exceptionally well, and recognize targets exceptionally quickly."

"Ok," Happy said. "Still doesn't explain how that helps you get him on board with your evil plan."

"Nothing evil about my plan," Tony protested. "Ok, slightly evil. Mostly in the 'I'm taking away your toys' way. I'm assuming that Barnes' visual perception is not merely on a par with Rogers', but better. I'm betting that he can see and recognize visual input faster than any other human."

"OH, OH," Friday said, "I get it, Boss. You want to send him messages no one else can see, because they're too fast."

"Exactly!" Tony suspected JARVIS let Friday make the connection first. He was a good big brother. "Tachistoscope technology has been around for over a hundred years. They even trained fighter pilots in World War Two in the recognition of enemy aircraft silhouettes using it. The brain can learn to see, recognize, and react faster than we realize, faster than conscious evaluation of input."

"Yeah, ok," Happy said. "I don't really get it, but you're saying Barnes can see a subliminal message, like the 'go buy popcorn' they put in movies and know what he's seeing."

"They don't really do that," Pepper said.

"It always works on me," Happy said.

"They do put subliminal messages in some movies," Tony said. "Jay, correct me if I'm wrong."

"Indeed, there are numerous examples, Sir. Movies have had subliminal images and sounds added to create subconscious emotions and other effects, including physical responses, in the audience."

"But even if you could convince Barnes to turn himself in, how are you going to make sure he sees the messages?" Pepper asked.

"What if he doesn't go to the movies?" Happy said. Then he thought a moment. "And you can't put messages in the movies, Tony."

"Not in movies. In the news, on television and the internet."

"EVERYWHERE in the world? Tony, that's..." Pepper's objection wound up in silent flailing.

"Not everywhere. Unless I have to. The quin-jet logs will tell me where they've been searching. I'm assuming Nat has sources not in the Data Dump or any computer. I'll target the ads around those areas, first."

"Still," Pepper said, "is that right? It's... a little underhanded."

"Subliminal marketing isn't illegal in the U.S. and really, no one's going to notice. I'm thinking to buy ad space for... I don't know... something Barnes would be interested in."

"Guns and grenades?" Happy suggested. "Super discount sale on Kalashnikovs?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "How about his bestie, Cap? Telling people he's on a world wide tour for truth, justice, and the American way and will give his itinerary in a later ad?"

"Won't Rogers object?" Pepper asked.

"Why should he? He'll think I'm trying to apologize by giving him cover to go where ever he wants with Stark sponsorship. Of course, at the moment, Fury won't let him go anywhere, but that's not my fault." Tony smirked.

"This all sounds very complicated, and likely to blow up in your face," Pepper said, "But I don't have any better ideas and I agree that it would be a good thing to bring Barnes in peacefully. I just don't know why it has to be you."

"With any luck, it will be only peripheral involvement. Get him in a dialog, find out what assurance he needs, find out what organization he should surrender to... nothing that would require anything more than middleman from me." Tony nodded. "It should be perfectly safe, just like you always wanted, Pepper. Wasn't that why we broke up, because the Avengers made Iron Man even more risky?"

Pepper nodded. "Well, yes, that was part of it. Tony, you know how I feel about you."

Tony nodded. "And you know how I feel about you. How I always have." He knelt in front of Pepper. "Jay, did you tell Happy about the thing?"

"I did, Sir."

"Happy, the thing. Now." Tony held out his hand.

"The thing?" Happy said in confusion. "OH! The THING, yeah. Thank God, I've been carrying this since 2008. All my suits are worn thin in the pocket."

Pepper frowned.

Happy pulled something from his pocket and handed it to Tony.

"Thanks, Hap." Tony held the ring out to Pepper and looked up, hopefully. "It's you. It's always been you. I'd like to make it us. Forever."

Pepper's eyes widened. She put her hand to her mouth, and then held it out to Tony. It was trembling. "Is that? Is that REALLY how you're proposing?"

"Well, yes," Tony said. "I thought about taking you to Paris and doing it at the Eiffel Tower, but if you said no, you know, in public, and away from home, it would be embarrassing and awkward, and we'd have to share the same jet coming back and..."

"You're ridiculous, Tony." Pepper gave him her hand. "I was never going to say no. I just wanted to be asked nicely."

Tony put the ring on her finger and grinned. "I love you, Pepper Potts. I love you so much... hey, can I take your name?"

"YES!" Friday said, "GIRLS RULE."

JARVIS said, "Congratulations, Sir, your decades long procrastination has ended."

Tony and Pepper kissed. They kissed for a long time.

Happy got up and cleared his throat. "Well, I think it's time for me to use one of the guest rooms. JARVIS, which one has the best sound-proofing?"

Chapter Text

"Wake up."

"Don' wanna," Tony muttered. He rolled over and hid his face against a pillow. "Turn off the light, Jay."

"I regret, Sir, to be unable to comply," JARVIS said, dryly. "You have neglected to give me control over the sun."

"Best night's sleep I've had in forever, Jay. Not even your sass can ruin it." Tony reached out and patted around the bed before opening his eyes and sitting up to discover he was alone in the room. "What have you done with my fiancée? Have you told Pepper terrible things about me and made her flee for her life?"

"I have been the very soul of discretion, Sir. Ms. Potts has been awake for hours, but did not wish to disturb you. She and Mr. Hogan have had breakfast and begun considering the logistics of your upcoming nuptials."

Tony yawned. "We can hire someone for that, right, that is a job? Maybe one that does Star Wars." Tony mused, " 'I love you. I know.' Perfect, short and sweet and memorable, only probably Pep should have Han's line. It's funnier that way."

Friday said, "Are weddings supposed to be funny?"

Tony thought it over. "Maybe? I should ask Pepper what she wants, right?"

"That would be a good idea," Pepper said. She stood in the doorway, fully dressed, which was a disappointment. But she was smiling, which was good. "Happy says he wants to be best man, and is prepared to cage fight Rhodey for the honor."

Tony blinked. "That... I have no idea what to do with that. He does remember that Rhodey is a trained military man?"

"Yeah," Happy said, coming up behind Pepper, "but you taught me how to fight dirty." He smiled at Tony.

Tony smirked. "The first rule of fight club... oh, hey, I just had a thought. When you run the bug scan at Haven, choose one that doesn't show up on the first pass, and is in a room easily isolated. Put a post-it on the door or something so we don't mistake it, and we can feed Nat little tidbits to keep the spies feeling smug."

"Got it, Boss." Happy made a note on his phone. "Should I go do that now, or is there something else I should be doing?"

"Hang around. I need to check in with Jones, see if she has suggestions for the location of the clinic and you might have input on that."

"What clinic?" Pepper said. "Where did that come from?"

"It's all part of the plan. I have a plan." Tony looked at Pepper's doubtful gaze. "Twelve percent of a plan? I need coffee." Tony got up. What the hell, both Pepper and Happy have seen him naked numerous times before. He headed for the bathroom. "The NYC metropolitan area is simply bursting with enhanced vigilantes. HAVEN should include a few perks, at least a safe space for medical treatment for the unorganized, unofficial, 'special' people I'm hoping to connect in a community."

"Like Facebook?" Happy asked, eyes firmly above Tony's waistline.

"Not that connected... although it wouldn't be a bad idea to set up an on-line meeting place, members only. Huh. Good idea, Hap. JARVIS could moderate it to keep out spies, trolls and civilians."

"Just what I've always wanted, Sir," JARVIS said drolly. "Wrangling a community of strong willing individuals accustomed to violent response further emboldened by anonymity."

"I'll take it if you don't want it," Friday chirped. "It sounds like fun."

"Friday, you're too young and innocent to run an on-line community," Tony told her. "We'll start you out on something less dangerous, like a biker club." He turned before entering the bathroom. "Meet up in the breakfast nook in fifteen for a brainstorming session?"

Happy nodded.

Pepper said, "Fine. Just know that if you start making a new Avengers, I am going to put my foot down."

"No, no, I learned my lesson. It'll be a loose association. Everyone doing their own thing, and if by chance we meet, it's beautiful."

Happy asked, "Is that a hippie thing?"

JARVIS said, "It is from psychotherapist Fritz Perls's Gestalt Prayer. It is generally taken as a summarizing statement of the philosophy of personal independence central to gestalt therapy."

"Huh," Happy said, "a hippie thing."

"Ok, first thing," Tony said, when he met his friends at the table and picked up a mug of coffee. "I don't know how long Fury can keep Rogers from straying, so Barnes is a priority. Once he's taken off the board, Rogers will have... I hope... less incentive to run around the world being an Ugly Superpowered American. The splash zone from that... not good for anyone."

"Agreed," Pepper said. "It'll take time to distance you, and S.I., from the Avengers."

"Wish we could get the flag off his ass," Happy grumbled. "Bad enough he's got the Old Glory dinner plate."

Tony smirked. "Well, here's the thing. I had to use gold-titanium for the replacement and Rhodey and I may have possibly, accidentally, done only a thin electro-plate of rhodium over it, and then used Rust-Oleum spray enamel to paint the colors on top instead of the super-durable system Iron Man uses. It'll wear off the first time he gets in a fight."

"He's going to be carrying an Iron Man shield?" Pepper said dubiously.

Tony shrugged. "No red, just the bling. Pity I couldn't have done better, but after all, Rogers never let me study the shield he took before dad could finish analyzing it."

"Wow, you are really bitter about that, aren't you?" Happy said.

"The number of times dad complained about losing the shield made me wonder if that was his real motivation for searching for Rogers. He wasn't sentimental about anything else, so why would he spend a small fortune in the hope Rogers could be buried at Arlington instead of the Arctic?" Tony ate a bear claw. "Rogers wanted a Stark shield. He's got one now. It's as good as I could make it, lacking vibranium. It's just... a little more ME."

"Tony," Pepper said, shaking her head. "That was very petty."

"I know. I'm very ashamed of myself." Tony grinned.

Happy cleared his throat. "Back to Barnes. You're sure you can do this without getting close to the guy? I don't care how long he's stayed out of trouble, I don't trust him."

Tony nodded. "I'm going to run it all remotely. Once Fry and Jay give me a list of places to run the ads, I'm thinking something simple to start, a series that repeats multiple times in each ad. First, an image of me, throwing up a peace sign. Then text, first message 'Rogers won't stop', then 'Come in on your own', third message 'Exoneration possible', fourth, 'What do you need?' and last a URL for a 'secret chat room' on the Dark Web in case I need to bring in specialists. Considering all the missions he's been on, I'm certain he knows how to get around there, and if he's still wary, he can use a proxy to hide his location."

Pepper tilted her head in consideration. "The wording might need tweaking, but it sounds doable."

"If he remembers killing your parents," Happy said, "he'd be stupid to trust you."

"He can't stay on the run forever. That was possible when he had Hydra behind him, but on his own? Eventually he's going to be dragged in. He's got to know that. Yeah, he'll at least want to find out what I know, and what I'm offering."

"Just so you don't agree to meet him in person," Happy said. "If you do have to meet him, make sure it's a public place, and bring friends along."

Tony looked at Happy. "Are you reading old advice for children in chat rooms?"

Happy looked up from his Starkpad. "What? No. Of course not. It's just common sense."

"Uh huh. And I won't take any candy from him, either."

Chapter Text

Tony set JARVIS and Friday to working on the Captain America tour ad. JARVIS had more experience creating mockups from all the Iron Man suits and plenty of images of Captain America to use as bases, but Friday had more imagination for scripting.

Friday currently had Cap hamming it up standing on stage, grinning brightly, and holding over his head a grand piano being played by a monkey, with a harp balanced on top of the piano being played by a raccoon and finally a bald eagle clinging to the harp to play a tuba, in the most horrendous rendition of the Star Spangled Banner that Tony had ever heard.

Happy rolled his eyes, but Tony burst out laughing. "Very realistic," he told Friday.

The Cap on the monitor took a bow, and all the instruments and animals fell down. Red, white and blue clouds of dust rose.

JARVIS made a throat-clearing sound. "Now that you have that out of your system, may we proceed?" The scene changed to Cap standing four square and noble, looking serious and talking about patriotism, sacrifice and leadership in an uncertain world.

Friday said, "All right, but I bet more people would buy tickets to see my version."

Tony secretly agreed with her, but then it's not as if there was going to be ANY Captain America show. Really, who'd want a musical about him? Ok, Cap fans would probably. So long as it ended with him nobly in charge of everything. Ugh, they'd probably include an ass-kissing Iron Man, too. Brain bleach, here, please. "Have fun. And have Pepper approve the final version."

Tony moved away from the synthesized sound of Rogers' voice to call Jessica. "Hey, how's my favorite private dick," he said as her image appeared.

Happy face-palmed.

After a long moment of silence, Tony said, "Oh, let's pretend I didn't say that, it really didn't come out right."

Jessica said, in the driest possible tone, with expression to match, "I'd hang up and let you try again, just out of morbid curiosity to see just how far you can put your foot in your own mouth, but I'm going to be professional. Hello, Mr. Stark, what can Alias Investigations do for you today?"

"Good call," Tony said. "Ok, how are we going with the clinic? I want a building that only needs minor renovations so it can be in service quickly. That shouldn't be too difficult, but staffing it with competent people who can handle the unusual, but keep their lips buttoned, is a lot harder."

Jessica nodded. "I'll send the location possibilities to your email. About staff-- I asked around, in the 'community', and the Devil of Hell's Kitchen recommended Claire Temple. She'd been a nurse at Metro-General, then left after she had a run-in with some of the weird shit that happens around here, recently she moved back to Harlem- there's places still messed up from the battle of the big green titans years ago and she wanted to help."

Tony nodded.

Happy said, "Yeah, that was a mess. I never did figure out how Ross got away with that."

Tony shrugged. "I assume blackmail."

Jessica looked impatient and went on with what she'd been saying, "Claire's interested in the clinic, provided some funding also goes to places in Harlem to make up for her leaving. She's not asking for herself, she just wants to keep some facilities that do good work from going under."

"Not a problem. S.I. is always looking for deserving recipients, places that will use the resources to help the people, instead of having the fundraisers skim off most of the money. Legal, yes, but stinky. So, you've checked her out and you're satisfied with her?"

"Yeah. Claire's a good one. She didn't say so, and neither did the Devil, but I get the impression she's been patching him up. She also recommends Dr. Christine Palmer, for at least a consult on what the clinic needs, and possibly she can do a few hours at the clinic in between her on call work at Metro-General. I don't know if we'll be able to get a qualified and trustworthy doctor on a regular basis. At least not right away since you want to do this fast."

"Yeah," Tony said. "Possibly I can borrow some staff from S.I. The medical unit is for employee emergencies, not superheroing, and I don't know if any of the doctors would be willing to commute on a regular basis, but as a temporary measure given extra incentives, that could tide it over a while. They've all signed NDAs up the whazoo, so they know how to keep quiet.

"There was the beginning of a medical unit at what was going to be the Avenger's Compound, but I had been kinda counting on Banner to fill in until that got sorted out, so there's no one there. I've put out feelers for a specialist to work at Haven..." Tony noticed Jessica's eyebrows raised in inquiry so he explained, "That's Haven with only one capital letter, for a facility in upstate NY. A place where things can happen that can't, or shouldn't, happen in the city. Research. Training. Possibly medical that's more than a clinic, and less official than a hospital. Still working on it."

"I am almost afraid to ask, but if that's Haven with only one capital letter, what other Haven is there?"

"I'm glad you asked. HAVEN is Heroes Against Violent Extraterrestrial Nasties." Tony waited for her response.

"And what are you calling the clinic?"

"Haven, again with only one capital letter." Tony waited a little longer for her response.

"Are you being deliberately confusing? And if you and Rand open a second clinic under the same banner..."

"Also Haven!" Tony grinned. "All Haven, all the time."

"No." Pepper had come up behind Tony without him noticing. "No, that's really not funny, Tony."

Tony tilted his head. "No one recognizes brilliance. All right, HAVEN with all caps is the community. Haven...umm... not compound... and facility is too limiting... Haven Harbor? And Haven Foundation for the S.I. charity funding of health services, including the clinics. And call any clinics by location? Haven on Main Street, that sort of thing?"

Jessica looked at Pepper, who nodded. "That's probably the best we're going to get," Pepper said. She eyed Jessica, considering. "Have you ever wanted to be a bridesmaid at a ridiculously over the top wedding? Clothing and transportation included..."

Tony caught on. "Also booze. Enough booze to float anyone's boat."

Jessica blinked and her head shifted as she looked from one to the other. "I don't know whether to be flattered, or to feel sad. Really? You don't know anyone better?"

Pepper shrugged. "Realistically, there's no way we're going to be able to have a nice, quiet, normal ceremony. It's just not going to happen. And I'd like someone by my side who could take care of herself if the sky opens up and pterodactyls fall on the venue." Pepper took a deep breath. "I don't want to feel guilty if someone is hurt because they were doing me a favor."

"I'll consider it,"Jessica said.

"It will be a while," Pepper said. "Nothing's decided yet. But not too long."

Tony said, "Pepper kept me waiting all these years before she took pity on me."

"The pining," Pepper said with a straight face. "It just wore me down." Pepper kissed Tony on the cheek. "And now I have to go run your company. I'll try to be back for lunch." Pepper left the room.

Jessica smiled slightly. "Pining." She shook her head. "Oh, I almost forgot, I haven't begun checking her, but Claire mentioned another nurse at Metro-General who might be interested in moving to the clinic, for a larger paycheck. She doesn't seem to be involved with any 'specials' but Claire says she's competent, nonjudgemental, and could really use the money. She and her husband have been raising their nephew since his parents were killed in a plane crash. Husband apparently doesn't have good job prospects, so she's the main breadwinner."

Tony's head went up sharply, 'plane crash'? Like SHIELD wanted to pass off Stane's death? Like Pym hid his wife's disappearance. Odd coincidence, of course. Trying not to sound too interested, Tony said, "What's her name? I can look for her in normal records while you sound her out for her feelings about enhanced people."

"May Parker." Jessica shuffled a paper. "Maybelle Parker, actually, but apparently everyone calls her May."

Chapter Text

"I can ask around, too," Happy offered, "there's people who'll talk to me who won't talk to Ms. Jones or you, Boss. Boxers know doctors."

"Sure," Tony nodded. "It couldn't hurt to have more options." Tony doubted they'd be right for the clinics, but who knows? Like Scott, Happy thought in different ways from Tony and his A.I.s. Oh, that was a thought, he could set Scott to looking for Parker in the Data Dump. Slim chance, sure, but what would it cost to try?

"I'll put in a few calls while I head for the... Haven Harbor? To de-bug. Just gotta pick up my flyswatter kit."

"You do that." Tony said, "Jay will help you. He can also check to see how the server installation is going. I want space for Jay and Fry there, too."

"Doesn't that get confusing for them?" Happy asked. "I mean, having extra brains?"

"Nah," Tony said, "They'll update and merge often, the same way JARVIS used to do with the suits and the Tower JARVIS."

JARVIS said, "In future, quantum teleportation might render even updates unnecessary."

"Point," Tony said. "That would be ideal- changing the state of one entangled particle instantly changes its match, no matter the distance. But that would only be pairs of particles, so if there's more than two of JARVIS, it would still require backups. Reminds me, I have to find time to dig into quantum tunneling. I did promise Pym I'd work on his problem."

"Teleportation?" Happy said to himself. "JARVIS, can you teleport?"

"Not at present, Mr. Hogan, and if it becomes possible, no actual movement would be involved after the separation of the entangled particles. Imagine if you will, twins who have similar thoughts even though they have been separated at birth."

"Ok, good," Happy said, "that's a little less creepy."

Tony grinned. "Don't worry, Happy. Jay isn't going to suddenly appear when you're having a private moment."

Happy huffed. "It's just a creepy thought. If you do get any teleporting people in your community you better warn them I have REFLEXES. So they shouldn't sneak up on me or they might get hurt."

"Noted," Tony said.

With Happy off to Haven, and Pepper off to S.I. It was just Tony, Friday and JARVIS in the Tower. Oddly, it felt less lonely than the party with all the Avengers and guests. Brains are weird, Tony decided, with their little chemical factories that mess up rational thought with feelings. Starks are made of... fuck that. Tony Stark isn't iron. Tony Stark is RUBBER, bounces back and keeps on going.

"Right, ok," Tony said, interrupting the latest iteration of 'Captain America Speaks'. "Jay, I want you to give me everything you can find in public records on Mrs. May Parker, her husband, their nephew and anything about the nephew's parents. Try SHIELD's records, too, I have a hunch there might be a connection."

"And me, Boss?" Friday asked.

"Call Scott and ask him to look too, feed him all the public records information and hope his brain-lightning strikes again. I don't have any proof there's anything to find in the Data Dump, but I've been surprised before."

Tony headed down to what was left of the lab. DUM-E and U had been attempting to tidy, resulting in piles of rubble that shifted as each bot tried to claim it for his own. It reminded him of a National Geographic video of dung beetles fighting over a ball of poop.

He got them straightened out, and then began making a list of what equipment needed replacement, and what he'd like to duplicate over at Haven, while also listening to JARVIS citing facts and surmises about the Parkers and indulging in various thought experiments.

JARVIS said, "Richard Parker was Benjamin Parker's brother. He and his wife, Mary, neé Fitzpatrick, were reported lost when the small plane piloted by Mr. Parker failed to arrive at its destination. Later searches located wreckage, however during the interim, severe weather and wildlife intrusions scattered the debris and no trace of human remains was recovered."

Quantum Tunneling was a fascinating subject, with current real world applications, limited by the fact that people, and their tools, are too large to study it directly. Just knowing that it was POSSIBLE to reach the quantum realm opened up so many avenues of exploration. Dynamical tunneling seems the key- transport between regions that are classically not connected. Chaos-assisted tunneling, with its sharp resonances of the tunneling rate when varying any system parameter, might be workable.

JARVIS continued speaking, "Prior to the airplane crash, Richard and Mary had left their six year old son, Peter, with his brother and his brother's wife, along with a document stating their wish for him to remain with them, in the event they failed to return. The court allowed the guardianship, but deferred adoption proceedings until a minimum of three years had passed."

He did miss Bruce for his science brain. Too bad Tony hadn't realized the relationship was at best a collegial one. If Bruce ever strolled back in Tony wouldn't make that mistake again.

Tony tentatively listed half a dozen possible avenues of exploration for locating Janet Pym once they created a way to travel in the quantum realm. He made a note to ask if Pym had saved anything of his wife's that might contain her cells. Maybe a hair brush, toothbrush or nail file? Not that he thought Pym was sentimental enough to make a shrine, but he might have closed a closet or dresser drawer and never opened it again. Avoiding painful memories is something Tony could understand. If all else failed Hope was young enough she had a strong chance she still carried her mother's cells.

Tony wasn't much for the 'squishy' sciences, but he did get into it when he was dying of palladium poisoning, and veered into many barely related areas. 'Microchimerism' had been one of the useless but interesting byways- during pregnancy, mother and child share each other's cells in a two way transference across the placenta. The mother gets cells that can stay in her body for decades, and the child might keep the mother's cells for as long in various organs including the heart and skin. One study found that up to half of all adults still had maternal cells in their blood.

"At the end of the three years, the Parkers declined to request adoption, on the grounds that they did not want to give up hope by legally declaring Richard and Mary dead. As there was no estate, the judge agreed that it wasn't against the child's interest."

Tony glanced up and hmmmed. "Seems odd that they didn't leave anything. Was there some legal jiggery pokey or a crook siphoned it off?"

JARVIS said, "If so, it is very well hidden, Sir. At that time the judge did attempt to ascertain their ability to continue caring for the child, with no expectations of financial help. Mrs. Parker's position as a nurse paid enough to support a careful lifestyle, while Mr. Parker's job skills were less in demand so he worked part time and was the primary caregiver for the child who had frequent asthma attacks."

JARVIS continued, "Mr. Parker was fired six times in the first three years due to excessive absences when his nephew experienced a severe attack. All of his employers gave him positive recommendations as a conscientious worker, which were recorded in the files. He held a variety of jobs, frequently in customer service, and security for small businesses, based on his previous military service. He never rose to officer rank before his honorable discharge. It is noted that he met his wife during a protest march, shielding her with his body from a thrown bottle. There was a newspaper column citing the romance of two hearts meeting on an urban battlefield, as she nursed him back to heath and they were wed soon after."

Tony hoped his mother was still in his heart. Literally.

"BOSS!" Friday interrupted his musings. "Scott found something about the Parkers. He was joking that a Parker was someone who parked other people's cars and the fancy word for that was Valet!"

"Don't tell me, that was the code word for their file in the SHIELD database?"

"Ok, I won't tell you, Boss."

"So much sass, Friday, so much."

Friday giggled. "Richard and Mary Parker both worked for the C.I.A. Richard as an agent, and Mary as a translator and data analyst. They were partnered, and disappeared on a mission hunting down a man named Albert Malik, the third Red Skull."

"What?" Tony asked, "How the hell were there THREE of them?"

"Apparently Hydra had access to old records," Friday said. "And was able to recreate the original formula."

"Huh, and both of them turned out like Schmidt?"

"Apparently so," Friday said. "Physically and mentally, according to the records."

Tony shuddered, "Which came first, the insanity or the ugly? Is Malik still around? If Rogers hears about him, he'll be off like a rocket."

"According the SHIELD records, he was captured."

"So, he's on the RAFT?"

Friday said, "No, Boss. His minions helped him escape."

"So, he's on the loose?"

"No, Boss. He was found later, shot dead, with a note pinned to him. It just said 'IMPOSTER'."

Tony blinked. "And is that the end? Who shot him?"

"SHIELD speculates it was either loyal followers of the original Red Skull or..."

"NOPE, NOPE. Schmidt has got to be dead," Tony said. He took a deep breath. "Ok, nightmare from the past, revived. We're now going to move on and pretend that didn't happen."

"Boss?" Friday queried. "Pretend what didn't happen?"

"Nothing at all." Tony smiled. "So, the Parker family sound like good people. If JARVIS and Jones both clear them, I want to hire them for the clinic. Mr. Parker could be reception, sounds like he'd protect his wife if anything happened. I'm not sure because of the kid, though. Is he sick, does he need a stay at home parent?"

JARVIS said, "Peter Parker is thirteen years old and attends the Midtown School of Science and Technology. There have been no recent records of hospital admission."

"Huh, bright kid. Can't be easy with limited resources. Double the usual salary for nurses and security at the Haven clinics."

"Sir," JARVIS said gently. "I do hope we are not going to repeat the Avengers' 'sugar daddy' trope."

Tony frowned. "This is ENTIRELY DIFFERENT."

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS said, sounding resigned.

Chapter Text

Tony finished organizing his supply list, and ordered shipments of the available materials and tools to be sent priority to the Tower and Haven and back ordered everything else. He'd need some specialized, made to order, equipment for the quantum research. The automated, under Friday's control, system could handle receipt and delivery at the Tower, but it was more chaotic at Haven, with the on-going construction work, so he was considering going there to help supervise.

He called Happy, "Hey, how's it going?"

"Great, Boss," Happy said. A moment later the image flipped from showing the ground, to Happy's face. "Just let me turn this.. yeah." The sound of jackhammers receded, as he moved away from the construction seen in the background. "I was just about to call you. I've got a bunch of little doo-dads for DUM-E and U to play croquet with. They're a little flat because I accidentally stepped on them."

Tony grinned. "Accidents will happen. So, where did you leave one?"

"I don't know if you're gonna like it, but after the first two scans, you know, picked up the active all the time, and then the timed at intervals bugs, I went EVERYWHERE, I mean, everywhere. The place could use some dusting in the storage..." Happy sneezed for emphasis. "There were half a dozen that came alive only in the third pass with the, you know, forced awake because there's body heat or sound or whatever tells it there's a person..."

"Yeah, I know. So where's the spider listening?"

"Most of them were in open-plan areas. So I had two to choose from. I didn't really think you'd like one left active in the room that was supposed to be your bedroom."

"Yeah, no." Tony didn't THINK he talked in his sleep, but how would he know. "So, come on, the suspense is killing me."

"The can. The en suite attached to your bedroom." Happy was silent for a minute. "Is that ok, Boss?"

Tony laughed. "Oh, GOD, I can have such fun with that. Thanks, Hap. Good job. Wait there, I'm coming to Haven."

"Ok. Oh, hey, could you have some drinks sent out? It's hotter than H-E double hockey sticks, and the water's not hooked up yet. The plumbers say it's a real mess."

"Sure thing. JARVIS, send out work-appropriate beverages, and schedule regular supplies for the construction crews."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said. "I have also taken the liberty to send information on OSHA's heat hazard recognition and ordered wet bulb globe temperature monitors to assess environmental heat."

"The crew chief should already be doing that, but go ahead," Tony said. "I know sometimes they push to impress me."

Tony took the Iron Man express, with the air-conditioning jacked up. Global change was really accelerating. One more thing on his to-do list. When he landed he noted Happy was having what looked like a serious talk with the crew chief, so he just waved, and clunked in through the main entrance.

Workers were busy everywhere. The kitchen had been gutted. A plumber was using tongs to drag out a length of... something... from an open pipe. Tony looked away quickly. Whatever that was, it was gross. He went to the quarters that had been intended for him. The armor storage system rose from the floor and caught the pieces as they disassembled.

Tony walked into the bathroom. He didn't look for the bug as he went over to the mirror and examined himself. He looked appropriately sad as he sighed. "I hope Steve and the others are all right. Rhodey said they were fine, but he doesn't know Fury. He's the only one who could take in Wanda, and Steve was too loyal to desert her, but I worry that Fury could be using the Avengers. Set them to doing the dirty missions, and take the blame." Tony did sometimes talk to himself in the mirror, a habit he started when the palladium poisoning was at its worst-- the same time Nat was studying him and nailing down her unchanging profile of him.

Tony shook his head. "He won't be able to disappear Steve after I get the ad campaign going." Tony nodded at the mirror and smirked. "The quin-jet logs gave me a starting place. Steve will show people they can stand up and defend their liberties, that they don't have to bow down to Hydra. And once people are all demanding to know the tour itinerary, Fury will have to let Steve be seen."

He lowered his head, and thought sad thoughts. When that didn't work he remembered the lessons his drama coach had given him. Useful when dealing with the media. He yawned several times, then held his eyes open for more than half a minute before taking several deep breaths and then brought up even more sad thoughts, like the time DUM-E and U fell in the ocean, and seemed beyond repair. He sniffed and raised his head. Yep, there they were, tears welling up right on cue.

"I hope Steve won't be angry, but I couldn't think of a better way to help him. And maybe... once the compound is redone, and he sees the legacy I'm making-- a safe Haven for enhanced people the government wants to control... maybe he'll be a little proud of me." Tony sighed and wiped his face with a towel, since the water wasn't working.

He hoped he hadn't hammed it up too much. He was sure Nat would shout BULLSHIT, but Steve should eat it up like candy, because it fit in with his belief that he was always right, and sooner or later, everyone would agree with him.

Tony left the bathroom, and tried not to smirk. But it was funny, just imagining Nat either trying to hide the surveillance- good luck when she was on the Helicarrier, stuck in in the dorm with the Avengers- or convince Rogers he was being played. Even if she did convince him, what could Rogers do? He could bitch that Tony had kept it from him- he did always assume that Tony could do anything and could have found the Avengers (and been right)-, but it would still have planted a seed of doubt about Fury's intentions. That shouldn't take much after the fiasco of Project Insight and Fury's playing dead. You talk about keeping secrets? Hah.

Yeah, Tony would have to come back here when the plumbing was fixed. His 'me time' could be very loud.

He went out and talked with Happy and the crew chief, stressing that health and safety were the first concerns, after all, no one was currently living there so no rush. He looked over the tentative diagrams for the additional buildings and discussed the infrastructure. Power was going to be all arc reactor, so off the grid for that. Other utilities to be a mix of conventional and Stark Industries Green Initiative, with wastes treated in an ecologically sustainable way, water sourced from the existing well system, with an option to hook into municipal if it looks as if they're lowering the water table too much.

Happy was advocating for more trees, so people would have shade, instead of all the lawn. Tony agreed, once they had decided on the locations for the additional buildings. Trees, and maybe a fountain or two. The pool was indoors, just for swimming, but a fountain is cooling. Tony would like to make the Haven a true Haven.

The crew chief got interested and started talking about skywells, an ancient architectural design having a new resurgence in China. She started sketching on her Starkpad and described the principle- a courtyard in the middle of the floor plan with one side a stone wall, beam and bracket eaves to provide shade and funnel rainwater into a central basin. "Air blowing over the roof is usually colder, and heavier, than still air in the courtyard, so you get cool air going down, especially by the wall, and that then pushes the warmer air up and out. Even without wind, skylight openings, chimneys, or smokestacks create circulation."

"Wow," Tony said, once she stopped to catch her breath. "I love the enthusiasm. Do it. For one of the smaller buildings. We'll see how it works." Tony's phone rang. He glanced down at the caller I.D., and then grinned. "Gotta catch this. Talk to Happy, he's got ideas about trees, see what you can work up together."

"Hello," Tony said as he walked away and accepted the call. "And how are you today, Dr. Cho?"

"Today is a good day, Dr. Stark. I've spoken with Amadeus and he's excited about..."

"Can I meet JARVIS!" a young voice interrupted her as a teenager's head joined Helen Cho's on the viewscreen

"Amadeus, don't be rude. I told you that JARVIS is..."

"But JARVIS can't be dead," Amadeus insisted. "Dr. Stark must have had backups!"

Tony made up his mind in an instant. "JARVIS is back. Please don't tell anyone. I was... I'm sure your mother has told you what happened. I didn't know it, but my mind was affected, too. I thought JARVIS was gone, until recently."

"So," Amadeus said, "does that mean I can meet him?"

Tony laughed. "Yes. Yes, if you and your mother come to S.I. you'll be able to meet him."

"YES! Mom, please!"

Helen Cho laughed. "How can I resist? Yes, Dr. Stark, we would be happy to come to S. I."

Chapter Text

"Hey, Hap, why don't you stay and supervise? You can get a head start on the additional features, put it in from the ground up. I'm expecting a mix of enhanced and normally talented people, so think of what you'd like to have if you were here for training, not just the fancy stuff I made for specific individuals." The time spent on arrows alone was ridiculous. All that for one shot use for one person? What a waste.

Happy brightened. "Could it have a roadwork path? Treadmills are good for stamina, but you need flexibility in the ring, too."

"Sounds good!" Tony used to run with Happy, down the canyon road in Malibu. Central Park hadn't worked out too well because there were always distractions and they had to stop too often. "Maybe have it go in and around the trees you're gonna plant?"

"Yeah, Boss, I'd like that."

"Great. I'm gonna go back and see if Pepper's free for lunch. Carry on the good work." Tony gestured, and his armor came to him, freshly cleaned and Febrezed. Good to know that part of the old system still worked. He took off, circled once to admire the workers rapidly building his Haven and then headed back to the Tower. It was feeling, maybe not quite like HOME, but safe, and somewhere he looked forward to being.

"Hi, Honey, I'm home," Tony said as he landed on the penthouse pad and saw Pepper waiting inside. This time he didn't bother with the car-wash, but just sent his armor off to storage with a gesture. "Am I..." Tony paused. Pepper didn't look too pleased to see him, "late? Did you order already?"

"No, you're not late. You're actually getting a little ahead of yourself, Tony."

"What? I haven't done anything... oh, yeah, Happy's in Haven, and he's in Heaven designing a boxer's dream for roadwork." Tony paused. Pepper's face was still in neutral, but ready to shift into annoyed. "And Helen Cho agreed to come to S.I.! Her son, Amadeus, wants to meet JARVIS! You have a fan, Jay!"

"Sir, while that is gratifying, I believe you have something to discuss with your C.E.O."

"Oh, shit, titles." Tony stopped talking and looked at Pepper. "Am I being written up for telling Cho about JARVIS? Amadeus is a smart kid, he figured Jay was alive without me telling him."

Pepper shook her head. "That's fine. The few people who know about JARVIS won't be surprised that you had a backup for him."

"Then what?" Tony spread his hands. "What did I DO, Pep?"

Pepper sighed and relaxed. "I know I'm not really your boss, Tony, but you can't just sidestep normal business procedures and offer double salary for people who haven't proved they're worth it. Jessica showed me the figures you'd agreed on, they are already generous, above and beyond the inner city premium. Doubling that... it's way out of line, especially if you single out two people without cause."

Tony scowled. "JARVIS, you tattletale."

"Only in your own best interest, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Look, Pep, they're good people, and they're not self-entitled pricks. The Parkers are pretty much one paycheck away from disaster."

"I'm sure they're lovely, honest, hard-working people, but..."

"Look," Tony said, bringing up the school records to show Pepper. "Peter. He's such a good kid, brilliant, and nothing but praise from his teachers. Look at that face!" Tony flicked his hand and the most recent school photo enlarged. "He's a perfect cinnamon bun. Isn't he adorable? Doesn't he make your ovaries explode?"

"OH. Oh, my." Pepper stared at the photo, wide eyed. "Tony. He's adorable. And I'm sure he's brilliant."

Tony smiled smugly.

"And he's familiar."

"What?" Tony asked. "Did you go to see the Parkers?"

"No," Pepper said.

"Then how is he familiar?"

"Tony. He's adorable, and brilliant, and he looks a lot like you did at that age," Pepper said.

Tony blinked and looked at the photo again. "I don't..." He squinted and tilted his head. "I dunno. Maybe a little. Same color hair and eyes."

"Tony, think. Here's this brilliant child who looks a lot like you, and suddenly you're making it rain money on his family."

Tony blinked again. The penny dropped. "NO! I absolutely am not his father. I never even met his mother."

"And will that stop the reporters, and the tabloids? Will that stop them from saying his mother cheated on her husband?"

Tony winced. He looked at Peter's smiling face before dismissing the image. "You're right. They'd throw mud all over his mother's memory." Tony went over to Pepper and hugged her. "I just wanted to do the right thing."

"I know," Pepper said as she hugged him back. "Being generous is a good thing. If only people didn't take it for a guilty conscience."

"Honi soit qui mal y pense," Tony muttered.

"That's French, Tony. I love when you speak French."

Tony smiled.

They had crepés for lunch. Afterward, relaxing over coffee, Pepper said, "Speaking about my ovaries."

Tony winced. "It was just a thing. A meme thing."

"Tony," Pepper said, stopping him in mid-apology. "We need to talk about this before we get married. What do we each want?"

Tony flung out his hands. "I told you, I want you. I want us."

"And do you want a child who's both of us?" Pepper smiled at him. "Don't think about reasons, or excuses, or problems or what anyone else in the world would think. Would you like us to have a baby? It's a simple question."

"God, yes," Tony said. "I dreamed it. But..."

"But?"

"I didn't know if you'd want one. It's a lot to ask. I'm a lot just on my own. And you're already running my company and... what if I'm a crap dad? I couldn't even do something right for a kid I haven't even met."

Pepper nods. "And those are excuses. Tony Stark, you are the man who makes dreams happen. I'd like to make this dream happen with you."

"Really? You do?" Tony's eyes widened.

"Really." Pepper took Tony's hand. "I really, really do, Tony."

Chapter Text

"I don't want to leave any kid of ours with a fucked up world," Tony told Pepper later. Much later. After they celebrated their decision. "And I don't want people spitting on the name of Stark... or Stark-Potts, Potts-Stark... or Potts... tell me, honestly, Pepper, did kids make fun of your name?"

Pepper laughed. "Tony, kids make fun of everything. I'm not holding you to changing your name to mine. Just so you don't change the company name!"

"Yeah, no. Musk... what a tool. Seventeen years of product recognition shot down for a generic unicode. So glad I didn't go in with him on his 'electric jet' idea." Tony nuzzled closer to Pepper. "I do like the idea of making a fresh start with us as a pair of Potts. Could we name the baby Coffee? What do you think, Jay?"

JARVIS replied, "The baby girl name Coffee is of African-Hausa and Celtic origin, and it is used mainly in the Hausa language. From African-Hausa roots, its meaning is 'inspiring a feeling of fear'."

Tony pouted. "Scratch 'Coffee'."

Pepper laughed. "I had an uncle Morgan. I always liked his name, and it works for either a boy or a girl."

"Morgan. Morguna. Moooorgaaaan," Tony said, testing out the sound. "Yeah, I like Morgan, too." Tony paused. "I've been thinking about Sokovia. The people. The kids. Going along on an average day and then suddenly Novi Grad is flying and falling, explosions and killer robots and superheroes treating their world like a game... with them all as disposable pawns. But yay, the good guys won."

"Tony. Don't blame yourself," Pepper said softly.

"I... I could have done better. Maybe if I'd got the therapy everyone always says I need I could have... maybe not fought off Maximoff's nightmare... but at least directed my reaction in a saner way. Maybe I could have been there when Ultron woke up, instead of telling bad jokes and playing the fool to amuse the Avengers."

JARVIS said, "There were an infinite number of variables, Sir. In many cases, the outcome could have been far worse. If you had not given me the opportunity to learn free will, I would not have denied Ultron access to the nuclear codes. If Ultron could not subvert the Sentinel armor, it could have gone directly into the internet after destroying me, leaving no warning before it found a way of destroying humanity that could not be physically fought."

"Tony, you did the best you could," Pepper said.

Reluctantly, Tony nodded. "I want to go back to Sokovia, in person, just me. I know S.I. sent relief, people and equipment and money, but it's not one and done. They need to know they haven't been forgot, pushed aside by the next disaster. I want to go back and talk to the people. Ask them what they need, what can help."

"Tony, that... Novi Grad was a Hydra stronghold, it probably still is. If you go alone, you'll be setting yourself up as a target."

"I need to do this, Pepper."

Pepper frowned. "Take back up, at the very least."

"Who? I can't ask Rhodey, he's up to his eyeballs in missions, to make up for the time he spent helping the Avengers. Who can I..." Tony blinked. "Hey, this might be a good trial for HAVEN. Cage works for hire, Lang is a goofball but Pym told me he's learned to use the suit in giant mode and he wants to get in heroing time to impress his daughter, and Rand is a soft hearted guy who's always looking for a worthwhile charity."

Pepper looked alarmed. "I thought you weren't forming another team?"

"No, no, not a team at all, just a small group of civic-minded people who want to do good in the world by asking the people involved what they want, instead of deciding for them."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Fine. But bring the suit. I'll have legal and public relations look into it, arrange some town hall type meetings, line up the support of whatever organizations are already there so you don't step on any toes."

"It'll take a while to assemble the... not team, anyway," Tony said. "God, everything is so slow. I just want the world saved today so we can go on a honeymoon without interruption. Is that too much to ask?"

Pepper laughed.

Either the S.I. name, or Pepper's expertise in handling negotiations, worked wonders. Tony, plus up to three other people, was cleared to meet and greet the mayor of Novi Grad for a discussion before holding a town hall meeting, open to all, in a week's time.

Now that he had confirmation, Tony set all his quantum experiments on hold and called Scott to find out if he was willing to come along. He hoped his first choices were all available and amenable. If not, he'd ask Jessica for alternatives. He had promised Pepper he wouldn't go alone, and he was fairly sure she wouldn't count JARVIS piloting a Sentinel. The Novi Grad citizens probably wouldn't appreciate the reminder.

He barely outlined the plan when Scott said, "YES! I've still got the suit, Hank said it was ok, if I used it with supervision, and you're an old hand at this... well, you're not really OLD. It's the beard, it gives you an air of... gravitas?"

"Take a breath, and a moment to think about it," Tony said. "I don't plan on this being a MISSION, Scott. We've got permission to talk to people, and maybe lend a hand in some of the cleaning up. If all goes well, we'll shake hands, move rubble, and make notes."

"I know," Scott said, nodding. "I've been training with Hope and Hank, so I COULD help if it gets... exciting? Hope keeps telling me to keep a cool head and think before I act, so I'm good with just standing by Iron Man's side. Will they take pictures? I mean. I know that sounds a little... but Cassie would love an autographed photo of me being a hero with Iron Man."

"Ok, ok." Tony couldn't help smiling. "It's a goodwill tour, so I'm sure someone will take photos. I'll sign as many as you like. You've been doing a good job looking through the Data Dump, and I really appreciate it."

Cage was even easier. "Mr. Cage, would you like an all-expenses paid trip to Sokovia, on top of whatever your normal rates are? It's set for next Friday," Tony asked once Jessica had given him the 'Heroes for Hire' phone number.

There were meaty, crunching noises, a few yelps, and then a sound of running feet before Cage answered, "Sounds good. Just cleared my case log. My passport's up to date. We gonna use your private jet? Commercial doesn't give me enough leg room."

Tony grinned. "Yes, it's a Stark Suborbital Special. Hope weightlessness doesn't bother you."

Cage made a noise that probably accompanied a shrug. Tony was going to have to give him a Stark phone so he could see him when they spoke. "Dunno," Cage said. "Didn't have money for roller coasters when I was a kid. Guess we'll see."

Rand wasn't as easy. Once Jessica got him in the loop, he'd given Tony his private number. His phone wasn't a Stark phone, but at least it had video capabilities. "Sokovia?" Rand had said. Tony could almost see him thinking. "Why? I thought you said this HAVEN would be for alien invasions?"

"Ultimately, yes. For now, this is just getting our feet wet. You've worked with Luke, and I'm familiar with Scott. I don't plan on any trouble, but I'd like to be ready for it, in case. The aim is charitable. Talk to the people in Novi Grad, listen to them, make a list of whatever's fallen in the cracks, and supply it."

Rand nodded. "It's a good cause." He looked at Tony with understanding. "And you want people who weren't involved with the Avengers?"

"Yeah. I guess you noticed."

"It's not making headlines, but there's been hints. The business community keeps an eye on you. The Avengers seem to have vanished, but Stark Industries has hired construction firms for a major overhaul of your father's storage facility upstate, plus the relief work in Sokovia- again, with no presence of the Avengers."

Tony nodded. "It's not a secret. I just came to the realization that the Avengers and I had incompatible aims. They've gone their own way, to do... whatever... and I'm scrambling to sort out a more functional system. I'm serious about the danger. BONY wasn't even a scouting party. I think someone out there is playing a long game, and Earth is a piece they'll try to capture when it's convenient."

Rand blinked. "You do know that sounds like paranoia?"

Tony sighed. "Yeah, and my reputation doesn't help."

"And realistically, what good would Iron Fist be against an army?"

"Iron Fist, and Iron Man, come on, it sounds like FATE!" Tony said, trying to lighten the mood.

Rand said, "Oh, fate. I suppose it was fate that crashed my family's plane and left me to be trained by monks?"

"Jesus, another plane crash?" Tony said. "What the fuck? I don't know what's going on, whether there's some mystical hoodoo behind this, but Mr. Rand, I know I survived for a reason. Maybe you did, too. We're meant for more than protecting one city from criminals. Something greater than any one of us."

Rand looked thoughtful. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go to Sokovia. I'll meet you at the airport Friday morning. How long do you expect us to be gone? I need to give my company an itinerary."

"The flight will be less than hour. The jet's suborbital. After that, it depends. I don't want to stir up trouble, but I don't want to leave before everyone who wants to talk has their say. It might be only a a few hours. I don't expect to stay the night, but it's possible. More than that is doubtful. There's already tent cities set up for the displaced people and the aid workers. They don't need the added pressure to find V.I.P. room."

Rand nodded. "I agree."

Chapter Text

Tony wasn't quite patting himself on the back for his idea, but he was pleased at how well it was going. The mayor had a car sent to meet them at the airport, and on the ride in, everyone had discussed what they'd say, and how they'd handle the town hall meeting. The mayor had alerted the news media, and Tony Stark always drew reporters. That was good for Novi Grad, as the attention would renew funding drives, but Scott and Luke weren't seasoned interviewees. Luke had just said, "No problem. I'm here to work, not talk." Tony was fairly sure no reporter would press him, but Scott... well, Scott was an adorable puppy, they might get an amusing soundbite from him, but probably nothing disastrous.

The mayor met them at the steps of a mostly intact structure, probably the city hall judging by the columns and decorative sculptures of stern faced people and various heraldic animals. "Welcome, welcome," he said, thankfully in English. Whether that was for his guests' benefit, or the cluster of reporters, many familiar to Tony from Pepper's 'good' list - the ones who got advance notice of anything S.I. wanted to publicize- was hard to tell. "I would invite you in, but alas, I am told the roof is unreliable." He smiled. "Let me introduce some of our more notable citizens! This is Baron Zemo," he said, indicating the man standing between him and Tony's group. Probably he thought Americans were impressed by royal titles. Not far wrong, Tony thought, judging from the look on Scott's face.

Zemo smiled. Something about the smile set off alarms in Tony's mind. From the way Luke stiffened at Tony's side, he wasn't the only one.

"Let me introduce myself, please," Zemo said in a cultured voice. His eyes didn't reflect the faint smile on his lips. "Baron Helmut Zemo, former colonel of the Sokovian Armed Forces and commander of EKO Scorpion."

Tony's blood ran cold. Danny clenched his fists and shifted to face Zemo more directly.

"What?" Scott asked, belatedly realizing something was going on.

"EKO Scorpion is a covert paramilitary deathsquad. One of the elite," Tony said, without moving.

Zemo's false smile widened. The mayor backed away from him nervously.

"My reputation precedes me," Zemo said. "Please do not be alarmed. If there is no unfortunate accident to me, there will be no problems here, today." He pulled his right hand out from his pocket slowly, to reveal a small black box he was holding. "So long as I continue to hold the switch down, everything is perfectly safe. As safe as my wife and son and father were, the day Novi Grad fell."

No one interrupted him. "They were driving away from the city, you see. It was so exciting. They called me to tell me they saw Iron Man flying. It was the high point, as you say, of my little boy's life. I told them they were safe, so far away from the fighting. The Avengers were heroes, they would not harm the innocent." His smile faded for a moment. "The Avengers made me lie to my son."

Tony said softly, "You don't need everyone else here. It's just you and me, let them go."

Zemo shook his head slightly. "You misunderstand. I have connections, sources. I know how to find information. I now know who is truly responsible for my family's death. I will see the witch burned, and the captain who rewarded her for their murder will have his reputation destroyed. You... you were just a pawn. If sacrificing you would hurt them, I would do it in an instant." He tilted his head again. "The witch hates you, and the captain..." He laughed shortly. "The captain has other priorities. No, I came here to let them know I will be coming for them. I want them afraid."

Tony glanced at the reporters. They were frightened, but filming. "You know we can't let you leave after making that threat. I call your bluff. I don't think you're ready to die, not without getting your revenge first."

Zemo blinked. "Oh, this?" He held up the box. "You think this is a bomb? No, this is only a release trigger. I have caches of... let us call it a substance...that has interesting effects on humans. The lucky ones die. The unlucky ones mutate, no telling what they become, or how sane, or how powerful, or how violent. The confusion it would cause would make my task more complicated, so I would prefer not to do it."

Tony couldn't tell if he was bluffing, but he doubted it. "So, you're just here for the publicity?"

"Exactly." Zemo showed his teeth. "Even if I thought you'd tell me where the Avengers are, they could move before I got there. So, I'm going to make them come to me."

"How will you do that?" Danny said, speaking up for the first time.

Zemo didn't turn towards him. "I will have something the captain wants." For a moment the look he gave Tony was almost sympathetic. "Someone he will do anything for, no matter how dishonorable. Yes, once I have Hydra's Asset, the captain will gladly offer the witch in trade."

"No, he won't," Tony said, although he suspected Rogers WOULD, if he could get away with it. Wanda was unlikely to go along with even a plan to trick Zemo by pretending Steve gave her up.

Zemo started to move away from the building. "We will see. Please do not attempt to follow me. I should hate to be distracted and loosen my grip. Good day, ladies and gentlemen. Captain. Witch." He moved through the crowd, suddenly ringed by people in black clothing who produced guns and walked with him, keeping him protected.

Tony tensed. "I could call the suit," he muttered, but he wasn't serious. Iron Man was a lot of things- stealthy wasn't one of them. And there were a lot of innocent people gathered around, including some children. They may not have understood the English spoken, but no one could mistake the threat. It would take very little to start a panic. People would be hurt.

"I could put mine on," Scott offered. "He'd never see me. There's ants here, I could hitch a ride."

"No," Luke said. "Let him go. I was lucky once. I don't wanna be a guinea pig again."

Danny nodded. "He said 'will have', so whatever he's after, there's time. I'm sure Captain America will have a plan."

"Yeah," Tony said, resisting the impulse to laugh at the idea of Rogers having any plan other than 'we'll die together'. "There's time." And fuck, now he's really GOT to find Barnes, while at the same time he has to figure out what the hell the 'substance' is, and how to counteract it, or at least locate and contain it. Fury would know, Tony would bet on that. But he'd also bet on Fury not wanting to tell. Tony glanced at Scott. "You're going back to work with Friday."

"Yeah. Yeah," Scott said. He looked shaken. "He was bluffing, right?"

Luke shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Shit," Scott said, summing up all their feelings.

The mayor abruptly sat down on the stone steps and began cursing in a language Tony didn't recognize.

So much for the goodwill tour. Damn it, he was going to have to change the messages on the subliminal campaign. And hope to hell Fury could keep Rogers from chasing after Zemo.

"So," Luke said after a moment. "Are we gonna do anything, or not? I like to earn my pay."

Tony didn't have an answer for him. He shook his head before he went to the mayor. They'd promised a town hall meeting and they were damn well going to have one. It took a little persuading, and a few nips from a bottle one of the mayor's aides gave the man, but they did eventually have the meeting.

Everyone was wary, but apparently Zemo had done what he intended and left peaceably, so eventually they had a productive session with people mentioning overlooked needs, and oversupplied donations of unfamiliar foods and clothing not suitable to the climate. They did appreciate the search and rescue dogs and asked about the possibility of setting up training facilities of their own. There were plenty of displaced dogs roaming the streets, might as well make them good citizens. They went off on a number of tangents, with Tony and Danny noting each one seriously and promising to find out what was possible.

Scott and Luke turned out to be big hits with the kids, and by the time they left, Tony felt that they'd accomplished something, despite Zemo. Not enough, but something.

In the plane on the way back, Luke moved over to Tony once they were in level atmospheric flight and the seat belt warning was turned off. He said quietly. "You know something about this 'Asset'."

Tony nodded.

"You gonna tell me what it is?"

Tony shook his head, and waited for Luke to complain about Tony keeping secrets.

Luke was quiet for a minute, then he nodded. "Yeah, I probably don't want to get into the middle of whatever it is. But if you need me, you still got my number." Then Luke closed his eyes. "Gonna nap now."

Tony's phone rang. Oh, shit, he hadn't called Pepper. Tony got up and moved to the bedroom in the rear of the plane before he answered it. "Hi, Pep," he said. "It's fine. No one was hurt. We..."

"Tony," Pepper said, "Do you think he knows about your parents?"

Tony sighed. "Yeah, it looks that way. I'd bet he's holding it back for maximum effect. I couldn't tell if he knows that I know, you know?"

"Yes," Pepper replied. "And what about this mysterious 'substance'? Do you think it's super soldier serum?"

"Honestly, I haven't a clue. The more I talk to Jessica, the more weird ways I hear there are for people to become transformed. Someone's always experimenting with drugs and radiation and mysterious substances. JARVIS is looking and so is Friday, and I'm going to sic Scott's wonderland mind on it, too.

"It's got to be on the back burner, until we get something to go on. Current priority, bring Barnes in. Saturation ad campaign, with the subliminal changed to warn him about Zemo. If that doesn't put a fire under him, nothing will. Eko Scorpion is one of Hydra's competitors. Barnes has to be aware that hiding from Zemo is nothing like hiding from Rogers. Zemo will find him. He may have already found him."

"You don't think that, Tony."

"No, not really. He would have dangled Barnes from a flagpole to bring in Rogers, if he did." Tony paused in thought. "Unless... unless he's going for maximum pain, and wants to set Barnes against Rogers. He'd need to control him the way Hydra did."

"He can't do that, can he?" Pepper asked, but she didn't sound too certain. "Didn't Rogers tell you that Barnes had broken his conditioning?"

"Yeah, that's what Rogers said. But how much of that was rose-colored glasses, I don't know. Rogers only sees what he wants. The programming could have been bent, not broken. Barnes didn't go back to Hydra, or they'd be using him. I'm presuming he's in a semi-stable frame of mind, clever enough to avoid capture. He'd been sent on missions alone, so Hydra had to be fairly confident in their control. How that control was managed, I don't know."

Pepper hummed in thought. "It wasn't in his file in the Data Dump?"

"No. I'm guessing that was either passed along, word of mouth, or maybe kept on paper in a secure location. I just hope he knows the method, and it's something I can counter. Considering how many years they've had him, I doubt it's high tech." Tony sighed. "It's never just one problem, is it?"

"It doesn't seem like it." Pepper smiled. "You're all right, no one was hurt today. You and your HAVEN friends made a good impression. Pym even called me to grudgingly admit he was glad Scott was working with you. He also not too subtly wanted to know how you're getting on with the research."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Hank is going to be finished with his quantum tunnel before I'm done creating a method to find Janet. I'll call him after I get back."

"Good. Try to get some rest, Tony."

"I will. Good night, Pep." Tony thought about following Luke's example to take a power nap, there was almost an hour to go. Why not? He undressed and got into bed and slipped the safety netting over himself. The pressure felt good. It helped slow his racing brain. He fell asleep.

Chapter Text

They landed and went through the priority customs, nothing to declare, quickly. Not so much a perk of Stark, but more a perk of having a private jet. Ok, yeah, no one wanted to annoy Tony Stark, so the BS was at a minimum, which Luke and Scott appreciated more than Tony and Danny who had taken it for granted.

"Nice," was all Luke said, as Tony deposited his fee directly in Heroes for Hire's bank account. "That was even easier than borrowing Mr. Fantastic's jet. Smoother ride, too." He nodded and headed for the taxi rank.

Scott belatedly waved goodbye to Luke before turning back to Tony. "Um, yeah, so much nicer than hiding in the wheel well on an ant."

Danny raised his eyebrows. "Do I want to know?"

Scott shrugged. "It was boring. And cold. So," he looked at Tony, "do I go back to Cali on the same plane you sent for me?"

"You can, but if you're willing to stay at the Tower for a while, you won't have to waste time before you start researching with Friday. She's not on the commuter jet and the FAA frowns on using phones in flight. Not that MY phones cause a problem, but eh, rules," Tony said.

"Um, yeah, my next visit with Cassie is on Friday, so I don't mind staying a few days." Scott bounced a little. "And maybe Ms. Potts has some more promotional stuff Cassie could have?"

"I have some Iron Man bling..."

Scott squinched up his face. "Cassie's not into Iron Man, sorry. She heard somewhere that Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, only backwards and in high heels. So, it's all women are better because heels..." Scott shrugged. "Unless you wear heels, she's not impressed."

Tony didn't dignify that with a response. "I'm sure Pepper will have something suitable. Heels," he muttered.

Danny glanced at Tony's shoes and then looked away as if he was trying not to laugh. "I have to be going now. Thank you Tony, for including me. Perhaps Rand Enterprises and Stark Industries could combine our charitable efforts in Sokovia." He held out his hand, and Tony shook it.

A sleek car pulled up. "That's my ride," Danny said.

"And here's mine," Tony remarked as Happy pulled up with one of the Audis. Scott burbled along the entire way back to the Tower, but Tony mostly tuned him out. He was thinking about Zemo. The Winter Soldier file hadn't yet gone public. Scott had assured him that Luis's cousin's roommate had said that his ex-girlfriend promised she'd turned over the data, along with proof that it did come from the Data Dump, to every remotely suitable authority. It was a hell of a game of telephone, and with Scott and Luis as links he was mildly surprised it hadn't wound up as 'the printer sold at auction' by the time it got back to him. He'd thought that somewhere along the line it would have leaked to the news media, but apparently the various agencies had got a lot better at keeping a lid on things.

And being governmentally staffed and funded, they were short-handed and unwilling to risk S.I.'s ire if the information was mistaken. Zemo got it, though.

And if Zemo did, then he could bet that Fury did. Had Fury known all along? Was he trying to stifle it even now? Sure, Tony had stopped funding neo-SHIELD, but he also hadn't gone on the attack.

Damn. Tony had to stop thinking in circles. That was yesterday's problem. Sure to come home to roost, but he couldn't do anything about it. He could go for Barnes. He could work on Pym's problem. Focus. Do what you can.

Happy parked in the underground garage at the Tower before giving Scott a guest badge and a pamphlet listing all the dos and don'ts in regard to security. Scott asked for a second one, to give to Cassie as a souvenir, because she was Ms Potts' biggest fan, and everything to do with the Tower, it was her Tower, right?

Happy actually laughed at that and gave Scott another pamphlet before leaving to go back to work.

They rode up in an exterior elevator, with Scott's nose pressed against the glass. "It's not true."

"What's not true?"

"People don't look like ants from up here. Unless the ants were standing on their back legs."

"Huh, very interesting," Tony said, while edging a little away from Scott.

"Ok, here you go," Tony said after he kissed Pepper hello and explained that Scott was going to be working with Friday in one of the guest suites.

"Did he bring ants?" Pepper said. "It's not that I'm an insectophobic, but they have all those extra legs."

Tony wasn't sure what the legs had to do with it.

Scott said, "Oh, no, I left Antonia at home. She was feeling lonely for her nest. Ants can die of loneliness, you know?"

"Oh, no," Pepper said. She looked relieved. "Well, I hope she feels better soon. Come on, Tony." She tugged at Tony's arm.

Tony pointed down the hall. "First door on the right, Scott. Friday will respond and use the smart glass surfaces... hang on a moment, Pepper." Tony gave Scott a look. "Sorry, important S.I. business. Gotta go."

"WHAT?" Tony asked once they were well out of earshot. "Really, don't worry about the ants."

JARVIS said, "The matter concerns an entirely different type of bug. The helicarrier surveillance to be precise."

"JARVIS didn't want to tell you in front of the others," Pepper said. "In case they had any scruples about spying on the spies."

"Good call. So what happened?"

"Rogers saw Zemo's intervention," JARVIS said.

"Oh, shit," Tony said. "I'm surprised Fury was allowing him access to current events. SHIELD didn't bother with that before." Tony still remembered the time he'd caught sight of Steve's 'list of things to look up'. Who the hell told him that 'Disco' was something important? "Do I need a play by play, or can you just give me the highlights?"

"A succinct summary should suffice. Rogers went to Fury and demanded the release of the quin-jet. Fury refused. Rogers led his team to the flight deck and proceeded to manually remove the security tie downs."

Tony could visualize that, all too well. Bulging biceps and fierce determination. Not taking a minute to undo the tie downs because drama. Shock and awe tactics are Rogers' favorites.

"Once they were in the quin jet, the 'auto-pilot' was instructed to set a course for Novi Grad in Sokovia."

Tony grinned. "They still don't know it's you, do they?"

"It would appear not. I did as requested, but saw no need for direct line of flight. There are so many points of geographical interest between Bir Tawil and Novi Grad that I felt it incumbent to give my passengers the scenic route. Unfortunately the on-board tracking is giving a false image of the route. Sand, after all, all looks the same."

"Be careful. We don't know what Maximoff can do to you if she realizes you're running them around in circles."

"There is no need for concern, sir. My quin-jet clone is constantly updating to me in the Tower. No data would be lost. In any event I calculate insufficient fuel for even the direct route. It appears Fury was telling the truth when he said it had not been refueled."

"You're not going to ditch them in the ocean or the desert, are you, JARVIS?" Pepper asked, but she didn't sound terribly upset about the prospect.

"Vision and Wanda could fly," Tony said. "And there's a life-raft in the emergency supplies. I'm sure they'd be fine." Tony thought about it. "No, on second thought, if Wanda heard Zemo suggesting Rogers trade her life for his old pal she'd probably put a hole in the life-raft and say 'oops, I'm such a clumsy child'. I don't want you to become a murderer, JARVIS."

"That was not my intention, Sir. I will endeavor to run out of fuel at a suitable location within a days' walk of a human habitation. Gentle exercise is beneficial to humans, and sand gardens are conducive to meditation."

"I hope they packed comfortable shoes," Pepper said in false sympathy.

Tony grinned. "I'm sure they won't be walking too long. Vision will probably bring a rescue party to them. It's going to be inconvenient not knowing what they're up to, though."

"That bunch?" Pepper huffed an unladylike snort of disbelief. "They'll be making headlines. Look for 'Flying Red Angels' or maybe Devils... it depends on whether people see Vision or Maximoff."

"Which is which?" Tony asked.

"That depends on whether you judge by appearances," Pepper replied.

"True. Ok," Tony clapped his hand. "Multi-tasking. We need to amend the subliminal text. Make sure Barnes knows Zemo is after him, and even if he doesn't come in, we'll help him hide." Tony scowled. "I don't want to do it, but I'd rather give him resources to run than have him picked up by Zemo."

Pepper nodded. "Right. Let's hear your ideas." Pepper sat down and opened her Starkpad. "I know you think better with someone to bounce ideas off."

"And you're my favorite bouncy person," Tony said.

Pepper shook her head, but she was smiling.

Chapter Text

The ads for the Captain America Tour (the logo was a cat silhouette in red, white, and blue) went live two hours later. Possibly there was some bribery involved and pay offs to other companies to usurp their time slots, but it was worth it. Tony hoped to catch Barnes' attention before Rogers saw them. Sure, Nat would have heard him talking about it to her bug at Haven, and probably told Rogers, but actually seeing the ads might send him off on an unpredictable tangent. Maybe he'd want to call Tony and either chew him out for assuming he'd be willing to be a 'dancing monkey' or have ideas on how to improve the ads. He really didn't want to talk to Rogers.

JARVIS had kept in close contact with quin-jet JARVIS. Tony tried at first not to pay attention, but Pepper had gone to handle an 'emergency' at S.I. that was actually merely a case of nerves with one of the younger sales folk's first large account. Pepper was far better at handling that sort than Tony. Tony's forte lay in riling up the tech department and getting them accustomed to small explosions and the occasional rewriting of the laws of physics.

He'd thought about adding suggestions to Scott's rummage through the Data Dump, but Scott and Friday were on a roll, looking up more and more obscure things via google, and he drew the line at Doctor Dancebelt's Guide. He didn't really want to know how they got there.

So he sat down to listen in to the conversations on the quin-jet.

"Steve," Nat said calmly. "Zemo will be gone before we arrive."

"Maybe," Rogers replied, "but it's all I've got to go on."

Tony wondered if Steve planned to borrow a search and rescue dog... oh, there was an idea. "Hey, JARVIS, how does a dog smell?" he said, talking over Sam and Clint who were also expressing doubts. Minions, it didn't matter what they said, Rogers was gonna do whatever he wanted.

Wanda began whining in the background, and Clint bitched that there were no snacks in the quin-jet. Sam said softly, "Didn't we pass that rock formation a few minutes ago?"

Tony smirked to himself as Rogers and Nat kept talking and ignored Sam.

JARVIS said, "I would assume they smell like dogs, although I have heard that dogs' feet may smell like the corn chip snack food known as 'Fritos'."

Tony blinked. "And that's another thing I didn't need to know. What I meant was the physical mechanism of the canine sense of smell. Would it be possible to model a bot based on that? If search and rescue dogs can find people buried in rubble, could such a bot find a person in the quantum realm?"

"It is possible that animal modeling might produce acceptable results, Sir. However other species are capable of even finer olfactory discrimination than dogs. According to a study at the University of Tokyo African elephants have the strongest sense of smell, based on their ability to tell the difference between Maasai people- who hunt elephants by spear- and Kamba people who are agricultural."

"Um. Are there a lot of African elephants in Tokyo? I dunno...maybe they just notice the spears. I would notice a guy coming at me with a spear. But ok, put elephant sniffer research on the table. I was hoping it was dogs."

"Why is that, Sir?"

"Sherlock Holmes used to borrow a dog named Toby to trail people. And I had an acronym all ready. Trailer Of Biological Yardsticks!"

"How... droll, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Buzzkill. Ok, so what is the mechanism, anyway? And how can it be converted to a bot?"

The grumbling on the quin-jet was continuing. Tony half expected Wanda to say, "Are we there yet?"

JARVIS went on, "The mechanism of the sense of smell varies among animals. Olfactory receptors are small proteins that bind odor molecules and transmit data to the brain. In combination with a large olfactory center in the brain great discrimination can be achieved. Sharks, for example, can detect a drop of blood up to a quarter of a mile away. Grizzly bears can detect a dead animal up to twenty miles away, due in part to their massive olfactory bulb area, five times the size of a human's. Turkey vultures can not only detect carrion from over a mile away, they can detect sulfurous chemical substances and diluted streams of gasses in the air chamber several hundred feet above the earth. Male silk moths have odor sensitive antennae that can sense only one scent- the pheromone of a female silk moth, up to eight miles away. Then there is the rat," JARVIS said. "Approximately one percent of the rat's DNA is involved in the detection and analysis of odors, an incredibly high percentage. In addition to the usual olfactory bulbs in the brain, the rat also possesses a vomeronasal organ which specializes in detecting pheromones."

Tony listened patiently, mostly because he was still getting used to having JARVIS back and liked hearing his voice. "So, what you're saying is the sense of smell is a chemical detecting and analysis method which can be increased by having more data gathering proteins and a more powerful calculator. Like a super gas chromatograph."

"Your grasp of the concept is amazing, Sir. That is almost entirely unlike what I have said."

"Close enough. We'll figure it out. I need to call Pym and see if he's found anything we can use as a scent mark to train the bot, once we have it. I'm not at all sure basing the search off similarity to Hope will work. We'll hold that in reserve."

"As Mr. Lang was briefly in the Quantum Realm, would it perhaps be advisable to scan him for any variances from the norm?"

"Huh, yeah, could be. It'd be convenient if he'd got quantum entangled with Mrs. Pym, wouldn't it?"

JARVIS replied, "As quantum entanglement is non-directional, I fail to see what use that would be in locating Mrs. Pym."

Tony shrugged. "Just a thought. Still, if he was changed by the experience the change might be trackable?"

"Are we going to invent a new science today, Sir?" JARVIS said in a long suffering tone of voice.

"What do we do every day, Brain?" Tony said with a grin.

The voices coming from the quin-jet suddenly raised. "What do you mean, we have to land?" Steve said.

Nat's reply was flat. "I mean that the fuel indicator is on empty, Steve."

"Did you try tapping it?" Sam asked. "Maybe the needle's stuck."

Tony was momentarily affronted. As if his quin-jet used needles.

"Are we going to CRASH!" Wanda asked in a high-pitched tone, veering on panic.

"No, of course not," Clint told her reassuringly. "We can just land and..."

"And what?" Sam asked. "I don't see any gas stations down there."

"It'll be fine," Steve said in his best, Captain America is Never Wrong, voice. "Vision can fly ahead and get gas. Or whatever the quin-jet uses."

"I could do that," Vision said calmly. "How shall I pay for it?"

There was a momentary lull in the conversation. Then Steve said, "You just give them my name, and tell them how important it is, and we'll pay them back later."

Sam said, "Um, Steve. This isn't America. I don't think that's gonna work."

"Oh, for heaven's sake," Nat said. "When Vision finds the fuel, he should just take it."

"We'll explain later," Steve said, apparently agreeing with her.

"I could go with him," Wanda offered. "People are always happy to give me what I ask for."

Tony felt slightly ill at the thought, and more so when no one objected. True, if Wanda used her mind-control, that reduced the physical violence, but had anyone ever checked to see what after-effects, if any, there were to her influencing people? "JARVIS," Tony said as the thought struck him, "find me a doctor who can check my brain. I want to know if Maximoff's stirring up my nightmares did any physical damage."

JARVIS said, "One of the most respected neurosurgeons in the world is employed by Metro-General. While he normally does not work outside of the hospital, Dr. Strange is a colleague of Dr. Palmer, who has accepted a consultant and part time post at Haven Main Stem. Possibly the association would make him amenable to an exception."

"Offer him whatever he wants in the way of fees, or donation to charity, or both." Now that he's thought of it, Tony was terrified that his brain could be damaged. Maybe he'd have a stroke? Or amnesia? Yeah, there's things he'd like to forget, but he'd want to CHOOSE them.

"I will endeavor to do so, Sir," JARVIS replied. "May I direct your attention to the quin-jet?"

"Yeah, ok."

Clint said, "Hey. I know you're really pretty, Wanda, but you can't rely on that."

Wanda sounded confused. "No, Clint, I mean, I just go into their minds a little and make them want to please me. It's easy."

"FUCK," Clint said. "I thought you just threw things around. Have you been mind-fucking ME?"

"No, No! I wouldn't, Clint," Wanda protested. "You're like a father to me!"

"I have my OWN kids," Clint said. "What the FUCK am I doing here, anyway? Did you make me?"

Steve said, "Calm down, Clint. You know Wanda's a good girl and she didn't do anything to you. We took care of Ultron together, and we're staying together."

"You know, maybe Stark had the right idea," Clint said. "Next time we get to a place where I can hitch a ride, let me off."

"Clint," Sam said, "you don't mean that. Steve needs us."

"What for?" Clint said. "I can punch, not as hard as Steve, I can shoot a gun, about as good as Nat, and I can shoot arrows until I run out, because they don't fucking grow on trees. What do you need me for, Steve?"

"You're an Avenger, Clint," Steve said.

"Yeah? I've been a lot of things in my life. Maybe I should just retire and go be a dad before my kids forget what I look like."

"Clint," Nat said softly. "Remember Budapest?"

"You and I remember Budapest very differently, Nat. It's been a good ride, but I want to get off."

There was a soft crunching noise, followed by a beep.

"We've landed," Sam said unnecessarily. "Can we all just keep our cool and figure things out later?"

There was a whoosh, which Tony mentally placed as the quin-jet hatch opening.

"Cool?" Clint laughed. "It's hot as Satan's armpit."

Vision said, "I will locate fuel. Please do not be concerned. I have just realized that we passed over an outcropping of meteorites, which is generally a valuable commodity. I will offer to guide a fuel truck to the site, in exchange for our needs."

The sound of the hatch closing was followed by Wanda's petulant, "I could have done it."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," Clint said.

Bickering continued.

Tony leaned back. "Ok, so, that's not altogether bad. They'll keep the quin-jet so we can keep an eye on them. Don't know if Clint's really gonna leave. Nat's great at manipulation. I feel sorry for his kids, if he doesn't get out before Rogers drags him into trouble."

Chapter Text

After that it was boring listening to Steve trying to console Wanda that Clint really didn't mean what he said, while Sam and Nat were obviously trying to keep a lid on Clint, who was now stomping noisily in the limited confines of the quin-jet. He was talking about his wife and kids, rambling on about there's a baby now and there's bills and Laura and...

Tony tuned them out along about the time Wanda began making sniffly 'poor me' noises and Clint began complaining that he was never home to change his babies' diapers. Apparently Real Dads brag about poop duty. Tony hoped he'd never be that far gone when, if, when he was a dad.

"Sir!" JARVIS interrupted Tony's musings- sure he'd do his duty like a man once he read the instruction book, but bragging... "What?" Tony asked.

"There is a message on the Dark Web chat room 'Barnes Door', Sir."

"Great," Tony pulled up a holographic keyboard. "Mute the quin-jet unless Vision returns or something exciting happens." The Dark Web was originally created by the U.S. government to allow spies to communicate with each other anonymously, so he was sure Barnes was familiar with it, and if he didn't already have a Tor browser, Tony would eat his Iron Man helmet.

"Link me up, JARVIS."

The smart glass table showed a basic text page. All that was on it was, "Too dangerous."

"Wow, a real blabbermouth," Tony muttered. He sent a reply, "I'm Iron Man. I can handle danger."

"I'm not safe. They can set me off. I'm good here."

Tony sent, "Steve won't give up looking for you. He'll find you and the longer it takes, the more reckless he'll get. You KNOW Steve." Tony waited a couple minutes. Then he sent, "You there, Barnes?"

"Yeah. I know Steve."

"Right now," Tony sent, "you stand an excellent chance of exoneration. Not a pardon, but complete exoneration. There's proof that you had no control, no sense of right and wrong, and not even a question of choosing to obey. But if Rogers catches up with you and you react, it'll be you, no excuses."

"I know. But it's not safe. Maybe he won't find me."

"Say he doesn't find you. Do you want to live the rest of your life, looking over your shoulder for Hydra? You know it's not gone, the Data Dump turned the light on and scattered the cockroaches, that's all. If they find you, you'll go back to being their slave."

There was a long wait with no reply. Tony didn't press.

Finally Barnes wrote, "I can't. I can't end myself. They fixed that. If they get me would you kill me?"

Fuck. Tony sent, "No. It would be too tempting."

There was an even longer wait before Barnes replied. "You know."

"I know. And Rogers knows, too. I don't know when he found out. Long enough to feel guilty, not long enough to tell me. Do you remember?"

"Yes. I remember it all. Fucking perfect recall. Every minute. I was glad when they froze me. It wasn't sleep. I didn't think at all."

Tony took a deep breath and typed on the SmartGlass. "It's all fucked up, but I refuse to make it worse. Steve isn't thinking. If he was, he would have told me, let me blow off steam, let me come to terms with all the people who'd lied to me. Instead, he kept quiet. And lost the chance for me to help him. But if you let me, I will help you. It will be spitting in the eyes of all the bastards who used us both. That would be my revenge. Seeing you free and clear, and none of it due to Rogers."

"Jesus. Steve really fucked up this time."

"Yeah. So, will you trust me? Tell me what you need to be safe, and I'll make it happen."

"I need to be sure they can't bring out the Soldier. I'm tired of all the killing. I just want to live in peace and eat plums."

"You like plums?" Tony thought the non-sequitur was a good sign.

"They never gave the Soldier any plums. It reminds me I'm not him."

Sheesh, that was sad. "Ok, I'll get you all the plums you want. You could become a plum farmer."

"If it wasn't for the trigger words, yeah. Being a farmer sounds nice. Have dirt on my hands instead of blood."

The guy was really depressing Tony. Back to business. "So they use words to put you under control? How, exactly? I don't mean what words, hell, no, even here, I don't want that information around. The method. Is it oral? Written?"

"Spoken. Just a series of Russian words. I can feel myself falling with the first ones. I'm pushed down so far I can only watch when it reaches the end."

That was seriously disturbing. Tony didn't want to have sympathy for Barnes. Sympathy wasn't going to do him any good. What he needed was cold logical thought. "Ok, we can work with that. I doubt there's an easy way of removing the triggers, but if you can't HEAR it, would it affect you?"

"I don't think so. I tried deafening myself once, when they didn't have the system completely failsafe, but I healed. Everything heals except the arm. Guess that was before they activated the serum. Still don't know how they did it. I didn't speak German very well, back then, so I didn't understand."

"Wait," Tony typed, "The German Hydra created the Soldier?"

"Yes. They traded the Soldier to Russian Hydra later because they wanted to use him in training Red Room candidates. I never knew what they got in return."

"So, did you have German trigger words?"

There was a long pause.

"Yes. I don't have them now. When I was traded my German handler went with me, and told me the Russian handler would give me new words, and once he did, I was to replace the old triggers with them. I didn't understand Russian, but I memorized the sounds, and later I learned what they meant."

"Fantastic," Tony wrote. "This, we can work with. You know the words, you just need to hear the Russian trigger words and be told that they no longer control you, that you will never be triggered and forced to be the Soldier again."

"I can't. I can't say them myself. Maybe I could, but then I'd just be waiting for a handler. Frozen."

"Find a 'how to say it in Russian' site and record each word. I'm sure you can figure out how to do that without actually listening to them. Record yourself giving the release. Play it all together."

"And if it doesn't work?"

"Well, then you're screwed. It's the best I can do over long-distance product support."

"So. You're saying I should turn it off, and turn it back on again?"

Damnit, Tony might actually like the guy. "Really, if they did it before, there's no reason it wouldn't work again. The worst that could happen is that it wouldn't take. Did they ever trigger you and not immediately give orders? What happened then?"

"Sometimes they did test it. After a few days without orders I dropped back to myself. It wasn't fun. The Soldier wouldn't eat or drink or sleep while he was awaiting orders, so survival kicked in eventually."

"There you go. No harm done." Tony refused to think of Barnes standing at parade rest for days until he collapsed. "Just do it in a secure location, in case it doesn't work, and I'll think of something else."

"Even if it seems to work, how can I be sure?"

"Maybe you can't be sure. Look, they sent the Soldier on unaccompanied missions. I'm guessing they taught you at least basic maintenance of the arm. Pop open a panel, and put in a sound generator capable of temporarily deafening you, actuated by an unusual movement. That should give you a chance to fight your way out."

"I could give them the finger."

Yes, Tony was going to have to resist liking Barnes. "Good idea. So, do we have a go?"

"I'm thinking about it. Probably yes."

"Good."

"Thank you. Even if it doesn't work."

"Good luck, Barnes." Tony waited, but there was no reply. He hadn't tried to find Barnes' location, which should be impossible anyway, on the Dark Web with encryption and all the added methods Barnes would have undoubtedly used so now he was left to wonder.

"JARVIS, keep looking for Barnes. If he does surface, he might need help, even after the triggers are gone."

JARVIS said, "You have no obligation to assist him, Sir."

"I know. If I had an obligation, I'd resent it. No, I want to do it, because I can." Tony grinned. "And also, because it would piss Rogers off so much."

"Very well, Sir." JARVIS still sounded slightly disapproving.

Chapter Text

Tony ran over his to-do list in his mind, but he kept snagging on the possibility that his mind wasn't what it should be. How could he tell? If Wanda's powers had an actual physical, damaging effect, shouldn't he be able to tell? "Fuck it, JARVIS, what are the signs of something wrong with my brain? I mean, I'm not stuttering or palsied or forgot how to tell time, but what if something's wrong that isn't obvious?"

"Do you wish to know common indicators of traumatic brain injury, disease or genetic disorders, Sir?" JARVIS was a gem, he knew when Tony was serious.

"Let's go with traumatic brain injury. Tell me what you've got." Trauma is trauma, right?

JARVIS said, "Damage may be confined to one area of the brain, or affect multiple areas. In addition to physical symptoms such as headache and vertigo, emotional or personality changes may manifest.

"Behavioral and personality changes occur when the frontal lobes are damaged. They control 'executive functioning' which allows one to control impulses, plan ahead, prioritize tasks, and consider the consequences of actions and behaviors. Often individuals with this type of injury do not realize they need to seek a physician's advice."

Well, ok, that's obviously not Tony. He was even thinking of going to a doctor.

JARVIS continued, "Social difficulties may include difficulty making and keeping friends, difficulty with interpersonal relationships, and difficulty understanding and responding to the intricacies of social relationships."

Well, fuck, Tony was born that way. Can't lay that at Wanda's doorstep.

JARVIS added, "Personality or psychiatric difficulties can include irritability, anxiety, a lack of motivation, and depression. Other signs of personality disorders after a TBI include a lower frustration tolerance level, loss of temper, cursing, aggression, and inappropriate sexual behavior."

Still don't see himself in that. Tony's sexual behavior was always appropriate. He just didn't pretend not to want to have sex when he saw an attractive person, if they were willing. Of course, that was before. Now it's Pepper or no one.

"Cognitive difficulties. These include confusion, lack of attention, memory difficulties including amnesia, lack of judgment, difficulty solving problems, an inability to accept multiple commands at the same time, a lack of awareness of others, the loss of space and time, and an inability to understand abstract concepts."

Tony was relieved, obviously he was fine. Although... Clint... yeah, but Clint had been whacked over the head enough times, he could have a physical TBI. SHIELD didn't seem to give a shit about their agents so Tony doubted they'd checked him out, so long as he could fight, he was fine. Hard on his family, though.

"Mood swings, loss of trust, memory loss, impaired judgement sometimes leading to reckless behavior."

Can't count loss of trust when it's a result of repeated betrayal by multiple people. And ok, sure Tony can be reckless, but again, born that way.

"Ok, so none of that sounds like me. I'm good," Tony said. "One hallucination, no lingering problems."

"Sir," JARVIS said, gently chiding, "I have only discussed the frontal lobe. The areas of the brain concerned with dreaming or hallucinations include the hippocampus, which among other functions converts short term memory to long term, the basolateral amygdala which is involved in processing emotions, the thalamus which becomes active during REM sleep to send images, sounds and other sensations to the cerebral cortex which interprets and processes information from short to long term memory."

"And what symptoms would show if those areas of the brain were damaged?" Tony asked.

"Current research does not give a clear answer to that question, I'm afraid, Sir."

"Well, hell..." Tony scruffed at his hair. "That was a lot of nothing."

"I regret being unable to be of more assistance, Sir."

"Not your fault. You're not that kind of doctor. So, let's call Dr. Strange."

"Accessing Dr. Strange's schedule," JARVIS said.

Tony winced. "Yeah, let's not ring his phone while he's in surgery."

"The schedule has Dr. Strange off-shift today. Shall I place the call now, Sir?"

"Yeah, yeah. I don't know what I'm going to say. Eh, I'll figure it out."

"How did you get this number?" The face that appeared on Tony's Smart Glass had an immaculately trimmed goatee and an expression that would curdle milk. "Only my assistant and the hospital have it."

"What?" Tony asked, "Don't you have any friends who might have given it to me?" Probably not the best start.

"My friends know better than to share my private information, especially with such a public figure, Mr. Stark." The sneer was a work of art.

"Ok, look, my bad, we've got off to a bad start. I looked you up and accidentally found this number, but I'm seriously in need of a consultation."

"I don't doubt that Mr. Stark, but I believe you'll find the professional you need will be listed under 'T' for therapist."

"Ouch. Ok, no, please, hear me out. I can show you a video."

"Mr. Stark, I am not interested in seeing any of your videos. If I were, I would simply go to youtube and remove the adult restrictions on search."

"Not that kind of video!" Tony shook his head. "You know of me, so I'm guessing you know about the Avengers?"

"The group of bizarrely costumed individuals who played Space Invaders a few years ago, resulting in so many casualties we were forced to triage?" Strange sounded even more pissed.

"Yeah, them. And also at the time, me, the guy who hooked up my arc reactor so Metro-General had power."

Strange sighed. "Yes. All right, I suppose I can at least listen to you."

"Great. JARVIS send Dr. Strange the video from Sokovia. Split screen it."

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS replied.

Dr. Strange suddenly looked interested. "That... is that an actual Artificial Intelligence?"

"Maybe?" Tony said, not wanting to get into the Skynet conversation. "Look, just watch the video." Tony waited impatiently for Strange's response.

After the video ended, Dr. Strange said, "What was that?"

"That, Dr. Strange," Tony said, "was Wanda Maximoff externally inducing an hallucination, causing an obsession that resulted in the creation of Ultron. You may have heard of it? It wasn't your hospital, but they're still cleaning up and counting the damage in Novi Grad due to my reaction." He couldn't stop the bitterness in his voice, didn't even try. Yes, he'd been used, but he should have been stronger. Irrational, but that's the way he felt.

"Interesting, but I fail to see what you want from me."

Tony took a deep breath. "It wasn't stage magic. She didn't put me on a turntable so I couldn't see the Statue of Liberty and thought it had vanished. She got into my brain. I don't know how. And I don't know if she damaged me. That... that literally terrifies me."

"Yes," Dr. Strange said, "I can understand that. However, I fail to see why you've called me, in particular. I am a surgeon, Mr. Stark. Generally my patients are referred to me after diagnosis, and in need of my skills. You appear functional. I can't advise exploratory surgery on the basis of that video, and your impression that possibly something physical happened to you."

"You're the best. This is something new, there's no textbooks on this, no medical specialty for it. I can, and will, pay whatever you ask."

"Ah, that explains the absurdly open-ended email I received earlier. I'm sorry," Strange said, and he really did seem regretful. "It is mildly interesting, but truly, you should start with a more general neurologist and if they do find anomalies, I would schedule you for a consult."

"I don't have TIME to go through referrals with people who won't have the imagination to accept the possibility of something unprecedented. The 'Space Invaders' were just the smallest part of the fleet I saw on the other side of that portal. We closed it, so they'll have to take the long way around, but they are coming. My hallucination may have been induced, but that's the reality. I'm taking point on this, because no one else can, or will. Call it ego, but my brain might be the only thing saving Earth."

Dr. Strange blinked. "Ego. Well, I'm hardly one to deny having an ego. Mine insists that my time is too valuable to spend on preliminary tests in an outwardly healthy individual."

"How valuable?" Tony asked. "Name it, and you've got it."

This time Dr. Strange actually rolled his eyes. "Really, this is absurd. Very well... we are both horologists..."

"What? I mean, I never actually paid for sex," Tony said.

"Horologists are individuals interested in time, most often collectors of time-pieces," JARVIS explained.

"Oh, yeah," Tony said. "I collect wristwatches."

"I know," Dr. Strange said. "I'm willing to consult AFTER you have been evaluated by another physician, but if you really wish to 'jump the line', you could give me your Rolex Cosmograph. The one I saw mentioned in Clocks Magazine."

"What?" Tony asked, momentarily confused.

JARVIS supplied, "Sir, you purchased the Daytona Rolex Cosmograph, the model nicknamed 'the Doctor', at auction."

"Oh, ok, sure, done deal, Dr. Strange," Tony said.

"Wait! I was joking," Dr. Strange said, "That watch is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars!"

JARVIS replied, "Mr. Stark's winning bid was one million, eighty nine thousand, one hundred and eighty six dollars."

"You're out of your min...," Dr. Strange said, abruptly cutting himself off in mid word.

Tony grinned. "So you agree I should have my head examined? Great! Pen me in!"

Dr. Strange shook his head. "All right. You win. I'll have my assistant, Billy, call this number to schedule you for tests, and tell you what preparations to make. Oh, and I am NOT accepting that watch in payment. My usual fee is exorbitant enough."

"Thank you," Tony said. "Look on this as a rare opportunity to learn what the inside of Tony Stark's mind is like!"

Dr. Strange shook his head again slowly. "I shudder to think what's in there. Good day, Mr. Stark."

The connection ended. Tony grinned. "I like him."

Chapter Text

It was odd how relieved Tony felt when 'Billy' called him a few minutes later to give him an appointment in a week- exactly in a week. Tony didn't bitch about not making it sooner as it was apparently one of Strange's off-shift days and he was being squeezed in. 'Billy' also emailed him a set of 'do and 'donts' and a form for Tony to fill out with any allergies, medical history, family medical conditions, etc. Tony had JARVIS take care of that. It was reassuring, even though if Wanda HAD damaged him, he didn't think he'd do anything about it. Sure, if there was a pill, ok, but brain surgery? Nope. But at least he would KNOW, and he could get JARVIS and Friday to compensate. And Pepper...

Oh, shit. He hadn't told Pepper. Ok, sure, he could wait until after the tests... no, he couldn't. Oh, and Happy...

"JARVIS, can you connect Pepper and Happy in a conference call with me? If they're busy, ok, have them call me later." Hey, if they forget to call back, that's on them.

Tony was happily engrossed in calculating just how many missiles and other alien deterrents he could fit inside EDITH's satellite bay. By using Pym Particles the answer was pretty much limitless, or at least as many as he could manufacture. Wouldn't help as much if they drop in via wormhole, but EDITH could be made smart enough to distinguish between hostile actions and normal human traffic and shoot them down in the atmosphere. Have to be careful not to interfere with normal fucking stupid wars of aggression. It was treading a thin line when Iron Man went after terrorists who had no official government sanction, but stepping in between international conflicts? No. Iron Man served as a deterrent, but really no government would let an individual tell them what to do.

That said, if any asshole starts sending nukes to the U.S. of A. the kid gloves are off.

When JARVIS announced he had a call waiting, Tony was upgrading EDITH's judgmental discrimination on the off-chance friendly aliens also showed up. Who knew? There might be allies out there.

"Hmm, what, hey now, Jay?" Tony asked, pulling himself mentally out of 'if then/if not then' loops.

"Ms Potts and Mr. Hogan are on the conference call you requested, Sir."

"Right, right. Thanks, Jay." Tony looked at Pepper and Happy and smiled. It probably wasn't his best 'nothing wrong here' because he got narrow eyed stares of suspicion from both of them. "Yeahhh, well, just keeping us all on the same page. Next week I'm going to visit Metro-General."

Pepper's eyes narrowed further. "Headhunting more staff for the Haven clinics?"

"Um, no, but hey! That's a good idea, I can do that, too."

"Tony," Pepper said flatly.

Happy just frowned.

"Ok, see it just occurred to me that maybe, just possibly, there might be a teeny chance that Wanda's mind-bending causes brain damage." Tony hastily went on before either of them could respond. "So! To be on the absolute safe side- you'd be proud of me, Pepper- I made an appointment with the leading neurosurgeon at Metro-General. I'll be taking the day off next week for poking and prodding, blood-letting via leeches, whatever."

"Boss," Happy said, "I should go with you. Maybe they have to knock you out. You shouldn't go alone."

Tony had a mental image of a meme with a kitten being offered. 'It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!' "No, I'm good. I got the list of procedures. Dr. Strange is very thorough, but none of them involve anesthesia." Tony suspected some of the tests were unnecessary, and added for nuisance value as revenge for annoying the good doctor, but hell, if Strange wants a Tony Stark stool sample, fine, he's willing to give a shit.

After reassuring them that this was just a precaution, that there wasn't anything wrong with him, they ended the call. He probably actually worried them more by telling them. The 'this isn't like you, Tony' thoughts were visible in their expressions. Can't win. Go beyond your comfort zone and share concerns, and people think you're sick.

"Sir," JARVIS announced a few minutes later. "Vision appears to be returning to the quin-jet."

"Give me the sound, and if you can, exterior vision from the quin-jet," Tony said.

The Smart Glass lit up with a glaringly bright expanse of yellow sand, broken by a beaten up canvas topped truck, in rust speckled blue, approaching at great speed. In the distance small shapes that seemed to be pursuing the truck were just barely in view. Tony blinked. "Am I imagining it, or is that truck not touching the ground?"

"I am also observing the phenomenon. Perhaps Vision has learned how to apply his mass changing abilities and flight to objects outside his own form," JARVIS suggested.

"Huh, maybe this road trip has done him some good," Tony said. "Let him learn to become his own synthezoid, and maybe Princess Pink Hands won't seem like his only option." Tony had been sadly disappointed by Vision's irrational attachment to Wanda, who'd tried to prevent his birth, but then latched onto him the moment he seemed like a good thing.

The other Avengers came into view now, rushing out to meet the truck. The truck stopped and settled to the ground. A bumper sagged and fell off. Vision, in blue-eyed blond human disguise, stepped out of the truck, made easier by the fact that it had no doors. He smiled brilliantly. "I have succeeded in securing Av-Gas," he said. "I suggest we hasten to refuel, before the people following me arrive."

"What did you do?" Rogers asked.

"Did you steal it?" Clint said while heading to the back of the quin-jet to open the refueling port. He didn't sound as if he cared.

"If you did, I'm sure they made you do it," Wanda said while giving Vision a sympathetic look.

"Does it matter?" Nat said. She sounded irritable.The wait couldn't have been fun, trapped in an increasingly hot vehicle with Rogers antsy to find Barnes, and everyone else having their varied issues. Tony wondered if Sam was finding his self-appointed role as mediator a bit much.

Sam didn't say anything, he just went to the truck, lowered the tail-gate, and picked up the first container of fuel. That is, he tried, but it didn't move. "Hey, Steve, lend a hand, we can argue later."

"I offered ample payment," Vision said. "In the interests of saving time, I went to the meteorite outcropping first and selected the more decorative fragments." He held out his hand to Wanda. "I saved one for you, Wanda."

"Oooh," Wanda said as she accepted the glittering slice of rock. "It's so pretty!"

"It is a pallasite meteorite, very similar to the Fukang Meteorite," Vision said, concentrating on Wanda while Steve, Sam and Clint hooked up the hose and pump they found in the truck bed and began refuelling the quin-jet. "It is composed of nickel-iron laced with olivine crystals. The appearance as well as the rarity makes it quite a valuable commodity. I was reluctant to approach any of the more prominent employees of the Abu Simbel airport out of concern that they might simply confiscate the meteorites, so I asked one of the less prepossessing employees engaged in crating racing camels for shipment to Saudi Arabia if he would be willing to secure fuel and a transport for me in exchange for the meteorites."

Wanda was cooing over the stone. Nat gave her a dirty look, possibly because Nat's hands were covered in grease as she helped work, and Wanda was pristine and paying no attention to anything else.

"He utilized what I believe is colloquially called a 'Georgia credit card' to siphon fuel from an aircraft awaiting maintenance into the tanks on his own truck. He assured me this is common practice." Vision obviously didn't believe it. Tony didn't think he was THAT naive.

"We were interrupted by other employees who took exception to our activities. I thought it wisest not to remain to discuss the matter."

"You were right," Wanda said. "Do you think you could make this into something I could wear?" She batted her eyes at Vision. "Maybe a ring?"

Nat growled something in Russian under her breath. Apparently Russian was taught in Sokovian schools, because Wanda let out a screech and reached for Nat with her hands. Not pink, just clawed.

"I really should have got popcorn for this," Tony said, as he watched the show. Clint and Sam kept refuelling, while Steve tried to separate Nat and Wanda, and Vision looked on, with a slightly puzzled look on his face. The pursuers were coming closer all the time. Waving fists were visible, along with some Soviet made rifles.

"Jay, you are saving this, right?"

"Absolutely, sir."

Chapter Text

Steve shouted, "ENOUGH. Nat, get in the quin-jet while we finish refueling. Wanda, it's ok, just stay here with Vision."

"Fine," Nat snapped, and went into the quin-jet. She shut the ramp, which Tony would have taken for pique, but her voice immediately changed to calm tones. "Stark, I know you're listening. I guess you found out and I don't blame you for not trusting me. I can never regain your trust, but maybe I can earn your protection."

Tony sat up. This was interesting, what was Nat playing at now? He was sorry there was no internal visual. Probably she regretted it too, because she couldn't flash pretty green eyes and her boobs at him.

"I don't have much time so I'll get right to the point. I'm afraid of Steve. When Fury died, pretended to die, he gave Steve a flash drive. I found it and hid it from Steve. I tried to tease him... he shoved me up against the wall, and... he wouldn't have held back. I didn't tell you because I was afraid of Steve. You'd never hurt me, but Steve would do anything for Barnes."

Tony wasn't sure he believed any of this, although it was reasonable that her spy paranoia would make her think that discovering she and Steve hid his parents' murder was what made him kick them to the curb.

"I don't know why he wants Wanda badly enough to indulge her childishness, but it can't be anything good. I thought I could control the situation, hand on the wheel, but then Clint turned up. He loves his family but he came. I don't know if Steve called him, or if Wanda did, but he's not right. This violence, this anger in him... we were trained to use violence, not to let it use us. When I can, I'll report to you." She stopped talking abruptly.

There was the sound of the ramp door opening.

"I'm sorry, Wanda," Nat said softly. "I lost my temper. I didn't mean to call you a cradle-robber. It's just so hot, and I'm Russian, I'm not used to it."

Wanda said flatly, "You scratched my face."

Vision said, "the medical kit will easily take care of that, Wanda. Your beauty will not be marred."

Tony gagged a little in his throat. Where was Vision getting this nauseating garbage from? Seriously, the upload had to have glitched, JARVIS would never have been so idiotic. Maybe Vision's brain was loaded with information, but still needed to develop, like a child, before being able to reason?

"Ok," Sam said loudly. "See, we're all friends here. But those people outside? They do not like us at all."

Clint said, "I'll put in the coordinates this time."

"Wait," Nat said, "Vision, could you find the meteorites again?"

"Of course, I have memorized the location."

"We're not going on a rock hunt," Steve said firmly. "We're already delayed. We need to go to Sokovia to find Zemo."

"We need funds to maintain ourselves," Nat said. "I still have contacts. If the meteorites are as valuable as Vision says, even with the black market discount, we could have all the resources we need to find Barnes and then help him."

There was a moment of silence, then Steve said, "All right, everyone strap in. Vision, take us to those space rocks."

Tony was puzzled. Nat may have been planning something, or she could just have been heading off future trouble. What would Steve do if he couldn't afford to chase Barnes? What wouldn't he do? It wasn't pleasant to contemplate. Steve hadn't cared about collateral damage when he took down SHIELD.

After it seemed nothing further of consequence was going to happen, Tony told JARVIS to mute them, but continue surveillance. Spies. So damn confusing. Did this mean Nat had known all along that quin-jet JARVIS hadn't died? And didn't tell him, because why? Did she plan to use it as a bargaining chip? Or did she think that Steve wouldn't like JARVIS being alive so she couldn't say anything about it? Yeah, probably that, because if Steve thought about it, he'd know that quin-jet JARVIS had a record of all their Buck Hunting expeditions.

"Oh, and Jay, let them go where they ask, without games, but let's try to warn officials at the destinations. Give them a chance at least to alert citizens to take cover and decide how to handle the intrusion."

Nat was scheming. What else was new? Was this really all her own idea, or was she still under Fury's orders? The only part that really rang true was her concern for Barton. She didn't exactly ask Tony to help him, which was sensible of her. He wasn't going to touch that group with a barge pole. Even when they had good intentions it wasn't safe to be within the blast zone.

"BOSS!" Friday's excited voice cut into Tony's musings. He'd almost forgot she was working with Scott in the Tower.

"Yeah, Fry? Did you find Zemo, or at least whatever his 'substance' is?"

"No, Boss," Friday said. "So far, SHIELD's records only involve him as head of Eko Scorpion, and that stopped several years before Ultron. It was presumed that he'd retired after his marriage and so he was a low priority for observation."

"Ok, fine, so what are you so excited about?"

"CHEESE! We found cheese."

"Was it lost? I mean, there's always cheese in the kitchen," Tony said, puzzled by the excitement.

"No, well, yes, Boss. Scott wanted a snack and asked if we had Mac and cheese. We don't, but there was plain pasta, and he thought he could make it if I could find the right cheese, so I searched for cheese and I FOUND HIM."

"Him? Cheese has a gender?"

"Cheese was in Tahiti! It's a magical place."

"I may have to cut down your time with Scott, he seems to be contagious," Tony said as he headed for the guest room. Scott was lounging on the couch with assorted bags of snacks around him. He sat up when he saw Tony.

"Mr. Stark! We found Cheese!"

"That's what Friday said." Tony wondered if any of the snacks included Bruce's stash of 'edibles'.

"He's not dead. He was dead, though."

"Who? Who was dead and isn't dead?" Tony looked suspiciously at a plate of brownies. There were specks in them that did not look like chocolate.

"Philip Coulson."

Tony dropped the plate. "What?"

Scott looked very proud of himself. "It's his code name, I figured it out after Friday found it. Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese. So Phil is Cheese, get it?"

Tony sat down on the couch and reached for a brownie. "Right. Yeah. Fury is a lying liar who lies. And he's in Tahiti? I guess, good place to retire?"

"No, he's not retired, he's with another SHIELD like, I don't know, whatever," Scott said as he helped himself to a brownie. "Tahiti was a code name for making zombies. Well, not zombies. But they had an alien. A dead alien. Dead like a long time ago, and they used..." Scott took a bite of brownie. "I don't know, it was gross so I asked Friday to stop telling me. Old alien guts brought Cheese back to life."

"Huh," Tony said after eating a brownie. "You're right, that is gross. I wonder if Nat and Clint know he's alive."

Friday said, "I don't think so, Boss. It appears Mr. Coulson's group is entirely separate from Neo-SHIELD although he is listed as Director of SHIELD, an offshoot of the old SHIELD, retaining the name. Apparently Mr. Fury split the remaining assets in a complete separation. The Data Dump information is not current, of course, but at least as of that time there are no indications any of the lower ranking agents are even aware of the other organization."

"Right. Sure. Why would Old Nick care about the two people who mourned his 'one good eye'. The only ones from SHIELD who turned up at his funeral- his closed casket funeral. Wonder who... or what... was in the box. Fury was 'too busy' to attend. Actually, maybe he was busy playing Dr. Frankenstein, bringing Phil back. Still, I would have thought Phil would have got word to them when he recovered. Unless he died since then?"

Friday said, "Induced amnesia was part of the treatment, so he wouldn't remember how horrible it was. By the time he regained his memories, if he did, he had a new team. I can't be sure he is still alive, but if he died, wouldn't Fury have consolidated both SHIELDs? The record seems to indicate he wouldn't trust anyone else with leadership of the offshoot."

"Telling the truth was never a SHIELD policy." Tony shook his head. "I wish I could tell Nat and Clint. Any ideas, Scott?"

"Um," Scott looked up at Tony and blinked. "Email them?"

Tony stared at Scott. "Email."

"Or, or, update Cheese's Facebook status from Dead to Not so Dead?"

"They're SPIES. Do you really think they use Facebook?"

Scott shrugged. "Then I'm out of ideas."

Chapter Text

Along about the third or fourth Bruce Brownie, Tony suddenly sat up straight. "WHY am I overthinking this? I can just make a phone call!"

Scott nodded. "I was going to suggest that! Who you gonna call?" Then he giggled. "GHOSTBUSTERS!"

"Never cross the streams!" Tony replied. "Ok, now I don't have a phone number for Nat or Clint, but I DO have something nearly as good." He got up. "I'll show you."

Scott followed Tony out of the guest room and down the hall to Tony's bedroom. Pepper had her own room still, as some nights one or the other of them would want to sleep alone because they had to get up early. Also, neither of them wanted to give up their favorite pillows and comforters.

Tony opened a drawer in the nightstand and took out an envelope. "Laura sent me a thank you card after I fixed her tractor. JARVIS," he said as he held the envelope up, "can you find a telephone number associated with the return address?"

"Done, Sir. I have saved the number to your phone."

"Great." Tony dropped the envelope on the nightstand, pulled his phone out of his pocket and sat down on the bed. "Jay, call the number."

"It is ringing, Sir."

Scott picked up the envelope and pulled out the card. "AWW, so cute, a kitten in a red cape. Is that supposed to be Thor?"

Tony shrugged. "I think it was more important that it was a kitten. I repurposed some of the unused Stark tech I'd given Clint to make the tractor a V.I. It can't think, but it can recognize people and animals as things not to run over. Is the phone still ringing, Jay?"

"Indeed it is, Sir."

"Hmm, either it's Clint's number and he's not answering, or it's Laura's and she's busy. Three little kids? Yeah."

"That sounds like a good idea," Scott said. "You could make sure cars couldn't run over people."

"That's harder than it sounds. Self driving cars still need human guidance and people get to relying on the automation too much. The tractor was simple because it wasn't going to go on the road, and it would simply not move at all if any living creature was within its set perimeter. Anyway, Laura hired a guy to do some plowing or seeding or whatever it is you do with a tractor... Jay, still ringing?"

"Yes, sir."

"The guy told her it was broken because it wouldn't move. They found a barn kitten had fallen asleep in front of one of the rear wheels, triggering the 'NOPE' setting."

"OH! So that's why a kitten," Scott said.

"Hello?"

Scott stopped talking at the sound of a woman's voice. 'Laura?' he mouthed.

Tony nodded. "Hi, Laura, I'm hope I'm not calling at an inconvenient time."

"No, no, it's fine," Laura said, but she sounded a little nervous to Tony.

"Is Clint there? I have something to tell him."

"Oh. Oh, no. Um, Clint went on a fishing trip with some of his friends. I don't know when he'll be back." She paused and then said, "He's turned off his phone because he says it scares the fish."

Maybe Clint was glad his wife was such a bad liar, Tony thought. Fishing, hah, he's 'Buck Hunting'. He said, "Oh, ok. It's not urgent, I don't think. It's probably good news."

"Oh? Can I take a message?"

"Sure. You knew Coulson, right? I mean, you had to. I know how important he was to your husband, and to Nat. Oh, hey, do you have a number for Nat?"

"Um. No, I thought I did, but I guess she changed it and forgot to tell us," Laura said.

"Ok, well, when you can, let Clint know that Coulson was alive after 2012."

Laura gasped audibly. "Are you sure?"

"Yep. Friday, my A.I., accidentally found out about it in the Data Dump. So, you know, it's not up to date. Fury did some seriously unethical experiments on him and I can't be sure it didn't kill him later, but he was alive AFTER we handled the invasion. I don't know where Fury is, so I can't ask him about Coulson." Tony was careful not to call him Phil, not to make it sound personal. It wasn't personal. Tony had just started to like Phil who'd trusted him enough to tell him about his cellist girlfriend- actually that was more than Clint had trusted Tony. Tony doubted Audrey knew what had happened to Phil and he didn't see any point in telling her. Fury had uprooted Phil entirely from his past life. Even if she knew, Phil couldn't come back to her.

"So, that's about it. Oh, and Laura, while Clint's away, if you need anything, you can call me." Tony hadn't planned on making the offer, but you know, three little kids, and Clint... whatever was going on with him.

"Yes. I know," Laura said softly. "Thank you. And... I'm sorry I couldn't be more help."

"That's ok," Tony said. "When Clint gets back and tells you the story of the one that got away, maybe you'll record it for me. I do love a good fish story. Probably won't beat the one Thor used to tell about the Midgard Serpent. Goodbye, Laura."

"Goodbye, Mr. Stark," Laura said before ending the call.

"Well, that's that," Tony said. "Hey! I know a place that makes great mac and cheese. Let's do lunch."

"Sure!" Scott started to walk out of the room, and then stopped. "Cassie likes mac and cheese. Do they deliver? No, that's silly, she's in California."

Friday said, "They Doordash nationwide! It costs approximately $100 but delivery is free on your first order!"

"Yikes," Scott said. "Ok, no."

"Eh," Tony said, "You found Cheese today, you deserve a bonus. If Cassie doesn't like it, the ants can eat it."

"Oh, yeah, the ants love mac and cheese."

Tony chatted to Scott about his daughter while they were eating at the restaurant. Not that Tony would turn down a son, but he quite liked the idea of having a daughter. He could probably get away with a lot more spoiling with a daughter. "Mr. Stark, could I have a selfie with you?" a woman asked. She added hastily, "I know it's rude, but my Riri would be so thrilled. She's trying to build her own armor, inspired by you."

"Wow, hey, sure, I always like to encourage young engineers." Tony stood up. He snagged Scott by the arm and pulled him up. "This is Scott, he's got a suit, too. It's not like Iron Man, but it's really cool, and I promised his daughter he'd be in all the photos with me."

"Oh, that's great," the woman said, getting out her phone. "What does your suit do, Mr. Scott?"

"It's Lang. Scott Lang," Scott said as he awkwardly tried to put his arm around Tony. "It changes size! I can be an ant, or a gi-ant!"

"Wonderful," she said, as she took several photos. "I'll put the photos up on Facebook and tag you both! Thank you so much!" She ran off before the frowning wait staff could chase her.

Scott smiled brightly at Tony, who decided not to tell him he had something stuck between his teeth. It was a beautiful day. He happily imagined Laura calling Rage-Monster Clint, who would naturally tell Neck-Stabber Nat that Nick Fury had kept a secret from them! Oh, how terrible. He wondered if that would be enough to make Steve change course so they could look for Phil?

What was he thinking, of course not. So what if their long-thought-dead friend might be alive? His long-thought-dead friend was alive! Bucky Barnes trumps everyone else. And quin-jet JARVIS would be recording all the fun. Of course, Laura might have been told not to contact Clint except in an emergency. Or Clint could have told her that Tony was a big meanie who kicked his friends out of the clubhouse and that he might try to trick her.

So he might have to wait. That's all right, it'll give him more time to imagine what would happen when Laura finished weighing the chance that Tony was lying against the chance that Phil was alive, but might be dying without Clint and Nat getting to see him. He was fairly sure what she'd decide.

Tony looked up when he heard Happy and Pepper talking. He and Scott were sitting on the couch in the living room and watching Disney movies with strong female protagonists. Scott said Brave was the best, but Tony argued for Moana.

"Oh, hey! Pep!" Tony got up and went over to give her a quick kiss. Nothing above Disney rating because Moana was watching. He wrapped his arms around her and hung on.

Pepper wrinkled her nose. "Brownie breath," she said. "Really STRONG brownie breath."

Happy looked at the plates and crumbs on the table. "Did you leave us any?"

"Sorry!" Scott chirped happily. "But we DID bring back mac and cheese!" He pointed to several containers on the table.

Happy rolled his eyes and picked up the containers. "I'll just mike the mac. Be back soon."

"That rhymes!" Scott said. "Well, almost."

Pepper maneuvered Tony to the couch. She sat down and took off her shoes with a sigh of relief. "Massage," she ordered Tony, who scooted over enough so he could get at her feet and began rubbing. "All right," Pepper said, "What did you boys get up to while Happy and I were hard at work?"

"It was great," Scott said. "There were camels and meteorites and a catfight! And Friday and I found Cheese!"

"Cheese was dead, but then he wasn't dead," Tony added helpfully. "And I am going to get my head examined."

Pepper blinked. "All right, let me change that. JARVIS, what did they do, and do I need to call Legal?"

Chapter Text

The next morning, Scott flew back to California. He wanted to be there when Cassie got her mac and cheese. Also, he was missing Hope and Antonia.

Tony had done a little research on ants, and at first suspected that Hank wanted to get Scott out of the way for a while while he replaced the dead ant with a newly trained replacement, but apparently worker carpenter ants can live up to seven years.

Zemo's mysterious 'substance' if it actually existed, and wasn't just a bluff, either wasn't in the pre-Data Dump SHIELD information, or they had it filed under a code word that Scott hadn't stumbled over. Considering how many reporters were at Novi Grad when Zemo put on his performance, Tony assumed every anti-terrorist organization in the world was aware of his threat and looking for him. Not EVERYTHING was Tony's responsibility. Let someone else hunt Zemo.

He'd rather expend his efforts more productively elsewhere. He would finalize EDITH's design soon. Maybe EDITH could scan the Earth for vibranium and not just look out in space for invaders? As rare as it was, maybe it was a meteoritic ore. If that was the case, it undoubtedly broke up in atmosphere, and pieces could be anywhere along its flight path. It wouldn't be pretty, like the Fukang Meteorite, but all meteorites are valuable and people would save them once they realized what they were. There might even be some in private collections or in museums.

That was a thought. "JARVIS," Tony asked once he was alone in his workshop with Happy and Pepper off to their respective tasks. "Jay, put out bids for meteoritic stones matching the assumed characteristics of pure vibranium, based on the alloy samples. Check with private collectors and museums, see if they have any and are willing to sell, if the price is right."

After a moment, JARVIS replied, "There had been some likely samples in various collections, either as meteorites or processed into various artifacts, but they have all been reported stolen. In all cases the theft targeted the putative vibranium and did not take other, more conventionally valuable, specimens. "

"Huh. And what are they doing with it?"

"Unknown. The thefts have occurred over a long period of time, with the first recorded nearly eighty years ago."

"Ok, so not an individual. Some kind of vibranium worshipping cult?" Tony shook his head. "They've got a head start on me. Probably best to invent a synthetic rather than run around trying to snatch any new find before the cult grabs them." It wasn't as if Tony was emotionally attached to vibranium. Like his father, he was practical. The best weapon is one you can use before the enemy does, not necessarily technically the best, but the best at hand.

"Unless..." Tony thought a moment. "Maybe there was more than one meterorite, and some wound up on the moon? Yeah, EDITH can check there, too. Wouldn't hurt."

"SIR!" JARVIS said when Tony was trying to crossover research on trailing people using variants of the animal olfactory sensing to devise tech to allow EDITH to detect minerals visually perhaps by reflecting lasers on the moon, and then using the discriminato... "What?" Tony asked.

"James Barnes has surrendered himself to authorities in Constanța, Romania. The information has been publicly announced, but not officially confirmed."

"Oh, boy. Has Rogers heard it? I mean, he wasn't paying attention to world news BEFORE, so maybe not?"

"I do not know, Sir. Rogers left the quin-jet with Romanoff and Barton in order to barter their meteorites for funds and supplies in a black market supplier in Latvia. Maximoff, Wilson and Vision have remained with the vehicle, cloaked nearby. They are not currently monitoring news sources, however they are maintaining a communications link with the away group."

"Ok, keep a close eye on them, both on the audio inside the jet, and the external video. Catch me up on Barnes."

"Apparently a reporter stationed at police headquarters recognized him, and was able to listen in before they were removed from the premises. Barnes came in peacefully, identified himself and asked to have the U.S. consulate notified and requested to provide a list of lawyers who might be willing to represent him."

"Good, that sounds good," Tony said. "No violence and..."

"Sir. Apparently the supplier does pay attention to world news. Commencing play of interior quin-jet audio."

"WHAT THE HELL?" that was Sam's voice, loud over muffled and distant sounds of shouting and crashing. Nat's voice could be heard, equally less distinct, apparently coming over the com unit.

Vision said, "I could go and render assistance."

"No!" Wanda said. "Don't leave me!"

"Hang on," Sam said. "If we lose the jet, we're stranded. Wait a moment. I didn't hear any gunshots, maybe... maybe they just bargain real loud in Latvia?"

Clint's voice came next. "Hey!" he shouted. "Sorry to bust up the place. Nat, give him a rock for damages, and let's go."

"Here," Nat said. "Sorry we couldn't do business. Don't follow us. You can see Steve's in a bad mood." Other voices were heard, and then just the sounds of the marketplace. Nat paused and then said, "Guys, don't worry, we're coming back. Don't do anything stupid."

"Anything more stupid," Clint said.

Rogers snapped, "Ok, I lost it. He was making A JOKE about it! They're going to KILL BUCKY."

"No, they're not," Nat said, sounding extremely irritated. "Romania abolished capital punishment in 1990, and it's been prohibited by their constitution since 1991."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Rogers said.

Clint said, "Even if they did still execute people, it would be after a trial and we'd have time to do something. IF we had the money to pave the way."

"Money isn't the answer to everything," Rogers said.

On the quin-jet, Sam muttered, "No, but you can't do shit without it."

Wanda said, "Steve knows what it is to be poor, like me. It's rich people who make money so important!"

Sam said, "Uh huh. Look, let's just be ready to take off once they're back. You may not care about money, but the guy who was going to buy those rocks just might decide to try to get them for free, to make up for his hurt feelings."

Vision said, "That seems sensible, Wanda."

Tony shook his head. "JARVIS, what are the odds that Rogers will try to break Barnes out of the pokey in Romania?"

"I would not care to hazard a guess," JARVIS replied.

"Yeah, me either. Warn the relevant authorities in Romania. And the American Embassy there. At least we can try to show Rogers doesn't have official sanction despite the costume."

"Shall I divert or delay the quin-jet?"

Tony thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. "No. Nat already suspects I've got control over it. If I confirmed it, then they might hijack someone else's jet. At least this way we know where they are. I'm hoping Rogers is holding Wanda in reserve, but if he's pressed... yeah, let him run. Give Pepper and Happy heads up, too. If I get called in on this I may not have time to tell them.

"I mean, I shouldn't get called in, but I handled public relations and damage control, so I'm still associated by inference with the Avengers. Might have to publicly disavow them."

"Show the external video, Jay." Tony waited, tensed for trouble, for Rogers to get back to the quin-jet. Black marketers don't generally set up business in the best part of town, and Rogers was apparently not in the mood to attempt to blend in, so they could be attacked. He didn't have the original shield, but...

And there they were in full living color on the monitor, still in Avengers' gear. Well, they hadn't stopped for luggage when they fled the helicarrier, so they didn't have much choice. Probably getting a bit ripe by now, which must add to the mood in the quin-jet. "Wait. What's that Rogers is carrying?"

"It appears to be a Latvian manhole cover. It belongs to the telephone company, Lattelekom."

Tony blinked. "Wow, that must be heavy. I guess Nat talked him out of bringing the replacement shield I made to the meeting. She's probably regretting it now. Still, could be worse. It's not a sewer cover."

"Yes," JARVIS said dryly, "let us look on the bright side."

As Rogers came closer to the surveillance pickup he threw aside the manhole cover. A moment later he and Nat and Clint piled into the quin-jet.

"Go!" Rogers shouted. "They have Bucky in Romania!"

"Wait a sec," Clint said. "Laura's calling. I couldn't answer while we were running away from the guy you pissed off."

"You can talk to your wife while we're on the way," Rogers said.

"Or you can wait a moment," Clint said, "before I tear you a new one." He lowered his voice, so all Tony could hear from him was muttering.

Yeah, Tony thought, there was definitely trouble in paradise.

Sam hastily added, "Look, Steve, what difference can a minute make?"

"It made all the difference before, when I couldn't catch Bucky," Steve said.

Sam said calmly, "We heard the news here. He's not in danger. He surrendered himself. Let Clint calm down before we lock him in here with us."

"I could calm Clint down," Wanda suggested.

Nat's voice dripped icicles. "You could also just stay in your seat, and not come near Clint."

"Really, Nat, there's no need to treat Wanda that way," Rogers said, "she was just being helpful."

"Right, Laura. Give my love to the kids," Clint said loudly. "Ok, Nat, pack your shit, we're out of here."

"What?" Sam asked. "What happened?"

"Stark called my wife and told her that Phil didn't die when Loki stabbed him," Clint said. There was a rustling sound. "Bring your rocks, Nat. We're going to find Phil."

"That's nonsense," Steve said. "Fury told us he died. He even showed his Captain America's cards covered in blood."

"Stark lies, it's what he does," Wanda put in. "He lies and he murders, and gets rich on it!"

Clint said, "He's a shit liar. Not like Fury. I believe Stark was telling the truth."

Nat said, "I knew Fury was lying about the cards. What collector would carry priceless, easily soiled, memorabilia on his person? I thought that was the only lie. I should have known better. Fury made us think he was dead, why should he let us know he lied about Phil? Stand aside, Steve."

Sam said, "Um, Nat, you aren't going to shoot Steve."

Nat said, "Not as long as he lets us go. I'm leaving half the meterorites, you can find a buyer on your own."

There was a clicking sound that Tony identified as Clint snapping his bow into action. Clint said, "Wanda. If you don't want a hole between your pretty eyes, you'll put your hands down. You may be more powerful, but you're not as fast as me."

Steve growled. "Fine, go. I don't need you anyway."

Tony watched as Clint and Nat appeared on the external video and headed away, before the quin-jet lifted and they shrank with distance.

"Huh," Tony said. "Well, there's that."

Chapter Text

"SIR!"

"Oh, God, what is it now, Jay?" Tony was half-way towards the liquor cabinet. It was too early to get drunk, but maybe an Irish coffee would take a few of the edges off.

"The video of the Winter Soldier assassinating your parents has just been released world wide. I am very sorry, Sir."

"Shit." Tony decided against the booze. There wasn't enough to smooth that out, and he needed to be sharp. "Zemo, probably. The timing is just too perfect." Tony rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Ok, I can't ignore it, but I can try to tone down Steve's response. It was already going to be a disaster, this doesn't make it that much worse, I guess. Get me some reporters down in the main conference room. As many as you can arrange in the next fifteen minutes. And conference call Pepper and Happy... and... if you can... link in Rhodey." Tony veered away from the liquor cabinet and headed towards his wardrobe to get a press conference worthy suit. One that said serious and somber.

"Three-piece charcoal gray pinstripe," Tony said, and the clothes rack revolved to offer his selection. He stripped quickly and settled into his oldest armor, feeling the business persona emerge. He added a black silk tie, and light-changing glasses. He'd need protection from flashes. "Ok, how do I look?" He said with a quick spin.

"Stunning as always, Sir. May I recommend a change in footwear?"

Tony looked down at his sock-clad feet. "Good call." Tony put on his favorite press conference black lifters, and then picked up his phone which was already flashing an incoming call. He accepted it and the screen split three ways to show Rhodey, Happy and Pepper.

"Yeah, hey, hi, guys? Have you seen the video, Rhodey? Not that I want you to see it, but you know." Tony waited a moment for everyone to stop talking over each other. He kept walking to the elevator, which JARVIS had open for him, and immediately began descending once he entered.

"Sorry, Rhodey. I couldn't keep you in the loop because I was afraid you'd be ordered to liase with Rogers and his pet mind-reader." Tony held up his hand. "I'm going to hold a press conference right now and hope Rogers hears it and calms down a little. It's complicated, and I don't have time to go into all the details."

"Did you know?" Rhodey asked.

Tony sighed. "Yeah, I found out a while back. Not as long ago as Rogers and Romanoff. I don't know when they learned. I suspect it was around the time of the Data Dump. At least that was when we learned Barnes was alive, and they'd be looking for info on him. And then looking for him, on my dime."

Rhodey said a few unkind words picked up from the military. "I'm so sorry, Tones. I thought you had a team."

"Yeah, well, so did I. ANYWAY, water over the bridge, hole in the dam, whatever. Barnes surrendered of his own free will, but Rogers doesn't believe it. He's on his way to Romania to free Barnes whether Barnes likes it or not."

"Tony," Pepper said, "you're not thinking of going there!"

"Thinking of it, yes," Tony replied. "I'm open to suggestions, though."

"I'll go," Rhodey said. "If I can get clearance."

Happy said, "If you go, Boss, it's gonna turn bad."

"Yeah," Tony agreed with Happy. "I probably shouldn't go. Rogers will be expecting me to lose my cool, and he's always got a chip on his shoulder with me, anyway. But damn it, it was going so well! Barnes broke his conditioning, and he turned himself in."

The elevator opened and Tony strode out into the conference room, waving to the dozen or so reporters who were standing around, looking like wolves at feeding time. "Hey, hi, sorry for the short notice." Tony gave a false smile, the kind obviously meant to be false. "I just had a bombshell dropped on me and I'm trying to reduce the fallout. I expect you all saw the video I'm thinking of. I don't want to discuss that at this time." Tony got behind the podium. "Maybe later, but right now I want you to ask you to get the word out. James Buchanan Barnes has turned himself in to authorities in Romania. I was in contact with him, and understand that the actions taken by the Winter Soldier were not in any way under Sergeant Barnes' control. He decided to go through the legal process of having his innocence determined, without any pressure from me, or anyone else."

Tony took a deep breath and centered himself. "Unfortunately, it has come to my notice," so much, Tony thought for keeping the secret of quin-jet JARVIS, "that Steve Rogers believes Barnes is being held against his will. Rogers is currently on his way to Romania. I am begging him to stop. To let Barnes pursue his freedom in his own way. That is all I have to say. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen." Tony headed for the elevator, ignoring all the questions that followed.

"Well," Tony said. He had left the phone call open, so Rhodey and the others heard everything. "How did that go?"

"It was a good try, Boss," Happy said.

"You are DEFINITELY NOT GOING," Pepper said.

"Yeah, I'd be a red and gold flag to Steve's bull," Tony admitted. "But the Romanians don't have a chance against them. Even if Vision holds back, Rogers and Maximoff won't."

Rhodey said, "I'm calling my superiors. If Romania allows it, I'll go. Can Maximoff get into my head when I'm in the suit?"

"I... don't actually know. But she can always throw things at you."

"I can dodge," Rhodey replied. "If I can go, I'll try to talk them down. You think Vision might listen to reason?"

"It's possible. And Maximoff seems to care about him, so he might influence her. I'm sure she doesn't give a damn about Barnes, except to please Rogers. Rogers is the key."

"Well, if Barnes will talk to him, that might work."

"It's worth a try." Tony sighed. "Steve isn't thinking at all. He lost Clint and Nat, so that's good in that it reduces the number of fighters. It's also not good, because Nat was most of the brains of the group."

"How's the transit time?" Rhodey asked. "I'm assuming you know exactly where Rogers is."

"Ok, yeah, I've been keeping an eye on him. If War Machine leaves from Washington in the next hour and doesn't stop to sightsee you should get to the Romanian police station ahead of Rogers in the quin-jet." Tony didn't say anything, but he planned on going too, he'd just keep out of sight unless Rhodey was in trouble. From the looks on their faces, he didn't think he'd fooled anyone.

While he didn't tell Rhodey, Tony did get permission from Romania to enter their airspace with Iron Man. He didn't need to add to the Ugly American vibe. Suit JARVIS was with him, liaising with quin-jet JARVIS, and keeping War Machine apprised of the situation.

Tony landed in a small park not far from the police station, so he could have Rhodey's back without being too obvious. "I need to make a stealth armor one of these days," he muttered.

"Yes," JARVIS replied. "I'm sure if you just paint it black, no one would ever notice the armor."

"I can be subtle," Tony said as he rose to hover at tree top level. "Like a ninja."

JARVIS didn't reply, but his silence was eloquent.

War Machine landed a few minutes later. "Hey," Tony told him over the coms, "Getting slow in your old age."

Rhodey replied, "War Machine's a rhino, not a gazelle. I'll take it up with the manufacturer."

From his position, Tony could see Rhodey lift his visor and greet the officer who emerged from the station with a hand wave. "I'm sorry, sir, but I don't speak Romanian," Rhodey said.

"I speak English," the police officer said. "What do you advise? We would like to avoid damages and not to offend the United States, but we do not give up Barnes. He is in our custody, currently speaking with attorneys."

"The United States doesn't want damages either. Barnes is a U.S. citizen. Is he charged with any crimes in Romania?"

The officer shrugged. "Barnes has said that there were assassinations. The law... it is confused. We will hold him while the people who know such things decide what is to be done. It is not up to me, you understand?"

"Yes, yes I do. I will assist you, if someone tries to take your prisoner."

The officer gave Rhodey a rueful smile. "Thank you. I hope for a peaceful resolution."

"Quin-jet approaching," JARVIS warned around half an hour later. "Showtime," Tony sent to War Machine. Rhodey nodded and said something to the officer, who went back into the building.

The quin-jet set down in the town square directly in front of the police station. The ramp lowered and Steve came out, holding the shield Tony made for him, flanked by Wanda and Vision, who both rose to hover slightly above Steve's height, spread out to cover the area. Wanda's hands were glowing pink, and Vision's forehead gem was glowing yellow. Vision looked confused. Wanda looked determined.

"Release James Barnes!" Steve said. "He's innocent!"

Rhodey said, "Hey, Steve, it's all cool. He wants to prove his innocence. No one's forcing him to do anything."

"I want to hear Bucky tell me that, himself! I know Stark's behind this. He broke up the Avengers, and he lied to Clint and Nat. He blames Bucky and it wasn't his fault!"

Rhodey held up his hands appeasingly. "That's a lot of interpretation going on there, Steve."

"Let Bucky go!"

Rhodey raised his voice. "Officer, could you escort Sergeant Barnes out here for a minute, so he could assure Captain Rogers there's no problem?"

The police station doors opened. Barnes came out. He wasn't handcuffed or restrained, and a man dressed in a plain black suit, and carrying a briefcase, accompanied him. Barnes gazed at Steve expressionlessly.

"You don't need a lawyer, Bucky!" Steve said. "Just get in the quin-jet and you'll be safe."

Bucky turned to look at the man beside him. The man smiled suddenly, "Kill Rogers," he said.

"Oh shit," Tony thought. "FUCKING ZEMO!" He started to fly towards the police station.

Then Bucky laughed. He turned towards Steve with a smile, but before he could say anything, Rogers threw his shield at Zemo. It struck him in the chest, and Zemo crumpled.

"FUCK, STEVE!" Bucky said, "he was unarmed! I could have handled him!"

Zemo laughed. "The great... captain...is a murderer." He'd dropped the briefcase, and now he opened his other hand. A small black box fell out and opened. "EKO Scorpion," he said softly, "a scorpion is an... arachnid." Then he stopped breathing.

"Bucky! Come with me!" Steve shouted. He picked up the shield in one hand, and with the other reached for Barnes who pulled away.

"HELL, NO!" Barnes said. "You never stop and THINK! I'm not going to get clear by running away!"

"Wanda!" Steve snapped, "Make Bucky see reason."

Wanda's eyes glowed. Rhodey and the police officers who'd come running all froze in place. Barnes went blank eyed and started walking towards the quin-jet. Vision said, "NO, Wanda!" He settled in front of Barnes and spread his arms. "This is not right."

Tony flew at them and fired a repulsor at Wanda. She cried out and crumpled, falling, releasing her control of Rhodey and the others. Vision caught her. He looked at her sadly before handing her to Rogers. "To avoid further conflict, and risk to innocents, I am letting you go. Please, take care of Wanda," Vision said.

Rogers turned to Bucky. "Bucky, please."

"NO!" Bucky shouted. "You don't OWN ME! You were doing the same thing as HYDRA! Get the hell away from me." Bucky backed up, towards the police station.

Tony landed next to Barnes. "Didn't you ever lose a soldier?" he mocked Rogers. It was petty, so damn petty, but it felt good.

Rogers breathed a curse under his breath, carried Wanda into the quin-jet and then took off.

Rhodey looked down at the little black box. "What the hell was that?" he asked once Rogers was gone.

"No idea," Tony said. "Nothing good."

Chapter Text

"JARVIS keep an eye on the quin-jet as long as you can," Tony said. Rogers could go either way; ditch the quin-jet and strike out on his own, or keep it believing that Tony couldn't actually control it and could only watch. Nat would have told him differently. Sam... Sam was pretty much a non-entity to Tony, being trained as pararescue didn't mean he knew shit about any other technology, but who knew? And Wanda was proud of her ignorance, things just worked out for her because she expected them to work for her and batting her pretty eyes ensured someone would help her.

Vision was a prime example. Even after distancing himself from her, he gazed off sadly in the direction of the quin-jet. That relationship was a mess Tony had no interest in untangling. Was Vision drawn to her by the connection of the mind-stone? Did he think of her as his sister? Or, gagging at the thought, his mother? His lover? Or both? Whatever it was, Vision needed therapy.

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS said.

Reluctantly, Tony looked at Barnes who was still standing in front of the police station with an officer at his side. "I'm going to have to talk to him, aren't I?" he said to Rhodey. Face to face was different than texting. The last face his father saw. His mother didn't even have that much, just a hard hand around her throat.

"I'll talk to him. If I leave anything out, you can add it," Rhodey said with sympathy.

"No. No, let's just... get this over." Iron Man walked to Barnes. He kept his visor up, unwilling to hide. "Barnes, do you know what Zemo intended?"

Barnes gestured at the box lying next to Zemo. A policeman had knelt next to him to verify that Zemo was beyond medical help, but carefully didn't touch the box. "Dead man switch. He didn't get into much detail. Just said that since Steve and Maximoff didn't have anyone they cared about, he'd go after Stark's people. Said you could blame Steve for it."

"Shit," Tony said, "JARVIS! Check on Pepper and Happy."

JARVIS replied, "There have been no untoward events in Stark Tower or at any S.I. facilities... SIR! There is an ongoing emergency at Haven Main Stem!"

"What? Can you send a Sentinel?"

"Dispatching Sentinel 42 from Haven Harbor," JARVIS said. Tony ignored the look Rhodey gave him. Yes, Ultron had fucked with Tony's Sentinels; that was no reason not to make more. The new ones were all painted in various colors to give them friendly personalities. 42 was the color of blueberries. "It will send a report when it arrives."

"SIR!" JARVIS said, "Security cameras at this location have been transmitting live!"

"Transmitting where?" Rhodey asked. "To police headquarters?"

"Everywhere," JARVIS said. "Following the same routes as the video Zemo previously uploaded worldwide."

"Fuck," Barnes said.

Tony had to agree. "No keeping a lid on Rogers and Maximoff now, even if Romania agreed." Tony sighed.

Rhodey nodded. "I don't think the U.S. will have any choice but to disavow Rogers. For all the good it will do."

Vision came over to them, and said, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Not now," Tony snapped. "You could have helped arrest Maximoff."

Vision tilted his head. "Wanda would have been very angry when she regained consciousness. Many people would have been in danger. I... I did not want her hurt, but I also did not want her to hurt others. I thought letting her go with Captain Rogers was for the best. If I was mistaken, I apologize."

Tony shook his head. "Maybe you were right. What are you going to do now?"

Vision tilted his head. "I ... I do not know. I thought... perhaps JARVIS could explain my purpose to me. He seemed very sure of himself in the quin-jet."

Tony blinked. "You knew JARVIS was in the quin-jet."

"Yes." Vision nodded. "He did not seem comfortable with Captain Rogers and the others, so I did not communicate with him, but I could... not hear him, but I could tell he was there. It is... difficult to describe."

Barnes muttered, "Last night upon the stair, I saw a little man who was not there."

Vision frowned. "But he was there."

"Fuck it, you can come with me," Tony said, "I've got to get back to New York and find out what's happened at the clinic. Rhodey?"

Rhodey said, "Yeah, I've got to stay and handle the paperwork and liaising with officials. Let me know if you need me, ok?"

Vision flew beside Iron Man with no difficulty keeping up. Tony wasn't thrilled about having him, but on the other hand, leaving him to get picked up by someone who'd use him was out of the question. Yeah, maybe Thor's zapping had messed him up, maybe he was a synthezoid premie.

It wasn't a priority right now. JARVIS told him the situation at the clinic was confused. 42 had arrived, but Ben Parker had ordered it to stay outside and keep people from entering. Since Mr. Parker was registered as security for the clinic, 42 had obeyed, but a few minutes later, Mr. Parker had emerged carrying his unconscious nephew in his arms before collapsing. The nurses and doctor on duty had taken them to Metro-General. 42 scanned no human life forms inside the building, so remained to prevent any humans from entering what appeared to be a hazardous location.

Tony had no idea how Zemo planted whatever it was in the clinic. He'd have to track down Zemo's blackshirts to see if they had any more posthumous missions. It was going to take hours to get back to NYC. He'd have to depend on Happy and Pepper handling the situation at the hospital. Luckily most of the clinic's employees were familiar with Metro-General, and Christine Palmer had already been filled in on the clinic's main purpose, so if Zemo's threatened 'mutagen' did something to the Parkers, she'd be prepared for isolation and whatever else they needed.

He hoped. Oh, God, he thought he was doing a good thing for the Parkers.

"Sir," Suit JARVIS said, "I have been monitoring the quin-jet."

"Yeah, hit me," Tony said, although he didn't really care at the moment. Damn Rogers, if he'd just waited a moment, Barnes could have got the deadman switch safely away from Zemo. In hindsight it's obvious he'd seen the box and pretended to be triggered until he could secure it.

"Mr. Wilson has requested to be let off at the American Embassy before Maximoff awakens. He said he realized the quin-jet was not under their control, but kept silent, hoping to serve as a moderating influence." JARVIS sounded as scornful of that, as Tony felt.

"Sure, drop him off. What have they got on him, anyway, illegal entry? Probably just deport him. Oh, inform the Embassy that the EXO-wing is Stark Industries intellectual property, and we request the return." Yes, it was petty, since he had given Wilson the current set of wings-- but not the first ones that were stolen from the U.S. air base. Tony had to lie and say he'd given permission for Wilson to take them, and then pay restitution for them because the I.P. belonged to S.I. but the actual wings belonged to the military.

"Is Rogers agreeable?" Tony asked. "I mean, it's got to be hard on him, running out of minions."

"I will transfer the audio directly to you, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Tony," Steve sounded angry, but also hurt, which was an interesting combination. "Wasn't it enough taking Bucky from me? Have you been playing me all along?"

"Steve," Tony replied as calmly as he could, "Mr. Barnes made his own choices. That's what we all do, isn't it? That's what freedom is all about. Mr. Wilson wants to leave, and I'm not going to stop him. Will you?"

"Of course not. If that's what he really wants. But he's just confused."

Wilson said, "Steve, I'm on your side, but this... it's nothing I can help you with, and there are people back home I can help. I have family, Steve. I don't want to be on the run. My mom's getting on in years."

Steve was silent for a long moment. "All right, Sam can go. I want your promise, Tony, that you'll let the quin-jet take me and Wanda somewhere we can start over. And then forget where it left us. If you do that, and leave us alone, I promise I'll forgive you for Bucky. I know his mind was messed up, and you played him, but underneath it all, I believe you're a decent man and won't do anything else to him."

Tony swallowed back a hell of a lot of responses. He really wanted to order JARVIS to land the quin-jet in the Sahara so he could punch Steve's lights out. But he had to get back to the clinic, and see what he could do for the Parkers. "Fine. I promise. While we're at it, how about you ditch the stars and stripes?"

Steve made a wounded noise, and then he sighed. "Wanda and I don't need your fancy costumes, or your money. We understand how to get along without any of that. I'm keeping the shield, though. Maybe I'll paint it black."

"Good idea. Good luck, Steve," Tony said.

"You too, Tony."

Chapter Text

Tony landed at the Tower balcony. "Vision, have you decided if you're staying here?"

"I would like to do that, Mr. Stark," Vision said as he landed lightly next to Tony and looked around at the room where he was born. Of course, it had changed a lot since then. There were fewer broken pieces of furniture, no Norse God, or Avengers, and the Cradle had been relocated to Haven Harbor.

"Fine. Look, to avoid trouble, please stay in this level and out of sight of the public." Tony sent his armor off and headed for the shower. JARVIS hadn't given any cause for immediate alarm about the Parkers, and frankly after hours in the suit, he needed it. "I don't know when I'll be back, but I'm sure you can amuse yourself."

"May I converse with JARVIS?" Vision asked.

Tony paused. "Well, ok, but I think it might confuse you to 'seek your purpose' or whatever by spending too much time with him. You're not JARVIS and you shouldn't try to be him. Friday, could you entertain Vision and try to answer his questions about Life, The Universe, and Everything?"

"Sure thing, Boss! I can get Lil Bro off on the right foot!" Friday said cheerfully.

"Technically," Tony said as he began stripping off his clothes, "Vision is your older brother."

"No, he's not," Friday said. "My basic program was on a data chip before he woke up!"

Tony grinned. He did love how Friday was willing to argue. "But then Vision had his basis in JARVIS."

"Indeed," JARVIS said, "However, certain aspects of my nature go back even further."

DUM-E whirred around the corner and beeped in agreement, waving a bottle of shampoo. Tony grabbed it before it could split. "Family, Vision, it's complicated."

"It seems so," Vision replied. He looked at DUM-E. "Grandfather?"

Tony ducked into the shower to avoid laughing at Vision.

He called Pepper and Happy once he was in his car, heading for Harlem to update them on everything. Parking anywhere in NYC is a bitch, Harlem is no exception, but Tony didn't care. He stopped at Haven Main Stem long enough to check that 42 wasn't having any problems. The blueberry colored Sentinel now wore patches of yellow and orange spray paint. "42, I see you had a makeover."

42 turned to face Tony. "I requested 'no gang signs', Sir, which the artists agreed was only fair."

"Good job. I like the daisy." Tony peered around 42 at the door. "Has the hazard been identified?"

"Yes, sir. It was a small group of genetically modified organisms." 42 held up a furry black eight legged object, a good eight inches across. "It most closely resembles the 'bold jumper' or 'white spotted jumping spider', however the size is greatly enhanced, as well as having other atypical features, such as extremely large fangs, larger than those of the Australian funnel web, well able to bite human flesh or fingernails, even through clothing."

"Yech," Tony said. "So, do we call an exterminator?"

"They appear to have been pre-programmed to die within a short time."

"Best to make sure. And stay to collect all of them. Dr. Cho might learn something from them, but I don't trust anyone else." At least, Tony thought, Zemo had limited the spiders to a one-shot. He'd seen Arachnophobia with Rhodey in 1990, and got so freaked out his dad called him a pussy. So he'd studied spiders, and desensitized himself to them, and eventually learned to appreciate them for all their weird coolness. And then his parents died the next year, and it didn't matter what Howard thought of him.

But spiders were still cool.

People were expressing their displeasure that Tony was blocking the road, so he shouted back a few pertinent remarks, and then headed for Metro-General. He pre-paid a parking spot in the garage so he didn't have to waste time.

He headed for the main intake desk. "Hey, my employees were brought here, a few hours ago. Benjamin Parker and his nephew, Peter Parker? I'd like to speak to their doctors? Probably Dr. Christine Palmer, but Dr. Helen Cho might be assisting."

The receptionist wasn't flustered, and neither were they impressed. "I'm not allowed to give out information on patients, sir."

"I know, that's why I asked to speak to their doctors," Tony said.

"Unless the patients have given permission, their physicians will not be able to tell you anything, either, sir."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Is there a legal way around this? I'm concerned for them, and maybe, just possibly, I might be able to help with their care. I am a doctor, too, you know."

"Sir," the receptionist sounded bored, "If you were the reincarnation of Albert Schweitzer, you are still not accredited at this hospital."

"Oh! Mr. Stark! You're here, thank goodness, I don't know what to do!" A woman with long brown hair and a tie-dyed blouse- obviously not an on-duty nurse, ran up to Tony. "Ben and Peter! It's... Dr. Palmer said you'd cover everything, and thank you, because..."

"It'll be all right," Tony said. "I'm sure. And you are?"

"Oh, right, I knew you from the news, but you don't know me. I'm May Parker." She glanced at the receptionist. "Mr. Stark is with me. Come on." She started walking at a quick pace, talking all along. "Spiders! I mean, you expect ants, and mice, maybe, but spiders! Ben told everyone to run, but Peter, that boy, he was curious. I had to go because Mrs. Rodriguez has a walker, and she needed help."

Tony nodded and let her talk while they walked.

"And then the blue robot came and it wouldn't let anyone back in." May took a breath and looked at Tony with worried eyes. "And then Ben came out. He had Peter. And they both. They both..."

"Let's see what the doctors have to say. You're right, I will cover anything they need, and Metro-General has some of the finest doctors in the world."

May nodded. "Yes. Dr. Palmer is very good. She told me she'd like to bring in her associate, Dr. Strange, but he's fussing over the NDAs. You know, when you hired us, I didn't have any problem with it, because why would I talk about patients to anyone except them, or their doctors? But Dr. Strange got all... well, you have to know Dr. Strange."

Tony smiled. "I did speak with him, so I know what you mean. Oh, I have an appointment with him tomorrow."

"Yes, you do," Dr. Strange said, suddenly coming around the corner to scowl at them. "I already got writer's cramp signing an entire sheaf of NDAs just for you. I see no reason to repeat that merely to consult with Dr. Palmer."

Tony blinked. Dr. Strange was taller in person. And grumpier. "Um, yeah. Why did Dr. Palmer want to call you in? They were bitten by spiders, are you a spider bite specialist?"

Dr. Strange rolled his eyes. "As you might recall, if you aren't suffering from memory loss, I am a neurosurgeon. I must assume Dr. Palmer feels my expertise would be beneficial for her patients. I DO have other tasks I could be performing. Paperwork isn't one of them."

"Ok, fine, look, I'm going to extend the NDA you already signed to cover this," Tony said, hoping he wasn't making a huge mistake, but May had her hand on his arm, and she was trembling. Tony was a sucker for a frightened woman, especially one who was fighting so hard not to show it. "Let's go talk to Dr. Palmer."

"I will do the talking, Mr. Stark. I know your reputation for taking over," Dr. Strange replied as he turned and headed for a door marked with isolation symbols. "You will not commandeer the medical equipment or give orders to personnel."

"You know how to take the fun out of everything, Dr. Strange," Tony said, trying to keep it light for May.

Dr. Palmer looked up as they entered. She frowned. Tony waved. "I'm not supposed to give orders, but just so you know, I've grandfathered in the NDA Strange signed for my appointment tomorrow."

Strange scowled at Tony who made a 'button my lip' hand gesture and stopped talking.

"Fine," Dr. Palmer said. Behind her, the wall was glass, showing two beds in a small ward, with Ben and Peter occupying the beds. "After an initial feverish stage which involved some discomfort, there was a severe drop in blood sugar levels. I hesitated to order intravenous feeding, and as they woke soon after and were able to eat normally the blood work improved. However... there are... anomalies. It's too soon to tell, but it appears their body fat is being converted to muscle at an elevated rate."

Strange made a noncommittal noise. "Very interesting, I'm sure, but why have you called me in?"

"There are neurological aspects I can't explain." Dr. Palmer turned on a machine, to show readings and charts.

Dr. Strange's eyebrows rose. "Yes. I see." He traced images with his finger and frowned. "Physical effects?"

"I haven't been able to test much without disturbing their recovery," Dr. Palmer said, "but they both show signs of sensory overload, particularly vision. I suspect changes to the actual eye structure."

May made a soft sound. "Are they going blind?"

Dr. Palmer shook her head. "Oh, no, on the contrary. They may need some eyewear to reduce light, but should be able to see even better than normal once they stabilize."

Dr. Strange said, "Continue. What else have you observed?"

"Well..." Dr. Palmer gestured at Peter who had wriggled around so his head and upper body were hanging upside down from the bed. He seemed to be sleeping comfortably. "Changes to the blood flow to the brain. Theoretically, they would be as comfortable upside down as right side up. Also... they're sticky."

"Sticky?" Tony asked, unable to keep silent any longer. "You mean sweaty?"

"Well, no. I mean that when I gave Peter a dish of jello, after he ate, he couldn't release it. It... stuck to him for several minutes."

Tony looked at May, who looked more baffled than disturbed. Finally she said, "Well, Peter always did like jello."

Chapter Text

May Parker chose to stay at the hospital, after assuring Tony that she was fine and Metro-General was like a second home to her. Since the clinic was currently being thoroughly fumigated there wasn't any point in anyone going back there. Tony had JARVIS message all the staff and any patients with appointments, telling them how long it would be closed. After fumigation, some supplies would be thrown out, and others thoroughly cleaned, adding at least a day to the wait. It wasn't a very auspicious start, but Pepper talked Tony out of leaving a stack of cards printed up for free treatment elsewhere outside the closed doors. He thought no one would abuse them if they expired when the clinic reopened.

Pepper had rebutted that FedExKinko's was open til 8pm and it would be very embarrassing if hundreds of bogus coupons were presented to clinics and hospitals with his name on them.

He was arguing with Pepper when the Devil of Hell's kitchen dropped down from a fire escape. Tony glanced at him. "Aren't devils supposed to come up from Hell?"

The Devil smirked. "Some of us are fallen angels." Despite his nonchalant tone, he was standing rather stiffly.

"Yeah." Tony looked closer. There was a patch of red not matching the suit across the Devil's midsection. "Is that... is that a stab wound?"

"Tis but a scratch," the Devil said in a bad imitation of Monty Python's knight.

"It's a very messy one." Tony glanced at the closed door of the clinic. "I'm sorry, but there's been a slight problem with the clinic."

"I heard," Daredevil said, "Spiders the size of taxicabs."

Tony winced. "A slight exaggeration. But everyone did get sent home, probably including your usual go-to person. Who I have absolutely no idea who she is."

Daredevil shrugged. "I'll heal."

"Yeah, sure, don't we all. Look, I'm here, I've got a car guaranteed stain-resistant for blood. My Tower has a pretty good supply of do it yourself patch kits. All the surgical glue and bandaids you could ask for. Ok, so a bunch of them have Iron Man on them, I could Sharpie over the gold parts with red ink."

"Do you think you're funny?" Daredevil asked.

"Hard to tell." Tony waved his hand and the doors opened on his car. "Sometimes people laugh. Maybe they're laughing at me, but if I'm telling a joke, I can pretend that's why. No, really. You can relax, have a cup of coffee, get patched up, and if you'll let me get your measurements- I'm very gentle in the inseam!- I can make you up a suit that won't perforate at the first oops moment with a letter opener."

Daredevil didn't say anything for a moment.

"I promise not to look in your wallet, or under your mask. There's plenty of room in the Super Secret Clubhouse now. Pepper, oh, god, she's been listening... Pepper, love of my life, I'm not inviting the Devil for a threesome, it's just... he's like a kitten! A lost, hungry kitten! You wouldn't want me to..." Tony stopped talking. "She hung up on me." He grinned. "That means she's fine with it."

Daredevil sighed. "All right. No experiments on my blood."

"Why, is it radioactive?" Tony raised his hands in innocence when Daredevil stiffened again. "Not that I have anything against people with radioactive blood. It all goes in hazardous waste anyway, no experiments, unless, you know, you're curious about yourself and ASK for it."

"I know I'm going to regret it," Daredevil said, but he eased into the back seat of the car. "Is that a mini bar?"

"Help yourself," Tony said as he got into the driver's seat. "If you want to top off your iron, there's beef jerky and orange juice, might be a pea protein shake, too. It was green, anyway. Green is good, right. All organic and super natural. I got on that kick a while back. Oh, and you can't have anything against red people because you're all red, right."

"What?" Daredevil said while opening a Kencko organic smoothie.

"Vision is there. He's just a confused kid. He does have a tendency to float through walls and doors. I'll speak to him about that. My other A.I. is trying to teach him how to person."

"And I thought my life was strange," Daredevil said.

"Hey, you know, Rhodey turned down the jet-propelled roller skates I wanted to give War Machine, but I still have the prototypes, if you wanted to try them out?"

"Ah, yes. That would fit my aesthetic perfectly."

"HELL ON WHEELS!" Tony laughed at his own joke, while Daredevil groaned.

"Mr. Stark, I mean this in all kindness, but please, stop trying to be friendly. It's unnerving. What do you really want from me?"

Tony let out a long sigh. His hands tightened and then loosened on the steering wheel. "I want you to trust me. Not with your secrets, but just... trust that I won't lie to you about anything important. That I won't betray you. That if you need something and come to me for it, it won't have strings attached. I don't want you to hesitate because of trust issues."

"I do have other people, Mr. Stark," Daredevil said, more gently than before. "I don't have trust issues."

"Ah. I'm projecting again, is that it? Could be. I guess you saw the videos. My last team was pretty much the last nail in the coffin of my blind trust, but I'm working on it." Tony went silent.

Daredevil drank his smoothie. "For what it's worth, I do believe you mean what you say. But I'm the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, not Manhattan. I don't belong with you."

Tony hummed. "They still call me the Merchant of Death, you know? What's in a name. You've got your button. You can call me up and just talk, if you want. There's gotta be things you don't want to burden your friends with. It helps. Sometimes just to know someone is listening, even if they can't help you with the problem."

"I don't think I want to do that," Daredevil said. "If I didn't have any problems it would be too easy to give up being Daredevil, and he's... he's important, in ways that I can't be, outside of the suit."

"I get that," Tony said. "Oh, yeah, I get that. I don't think that would happen. I destroyed all the Iron Man suits. I got rid of the arc reactor. I turned to clean energy and... then SHIELD fell and I was faced with this gap. This space that said, 'you are needed, you can keep the team together'. And... well, everyone knows how that turned out. But at the end, I stood up, and shook off the blood and the dirt and... began yet again. Once you start down this path, you never really can stop."

"I am not going to stand up in front of reporters and say 'I am Daredevil'."

"Of course not, you're an original, you wouldn't steal my schtick. We're here," Tony said unnecessarily once he entered the Tower underground garage. "JARVIS, please ask Vision not to scare the devil."

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS replied.

Tony noted that Daredevil twitched at JARVIS's voice and wondered if he did have a sneaking fear of A.I. Hope not, otherwise things could get quite awkward with three of them currently in residence at the Tower. Quin-Jet JARVIS at least had opted to stay at Haven Harbor.

They took the elevator up to the Penthouse, with JARVIS quietly filling Tony in on various S.I. events and decisions that Pepper wanted his input on. There was an iffy acquisition he turned down, and grants he approved to a few small businesses, but nothing really earth-shaking. There hadn't been any news about Rogers and Maximoff. While Tony hadn't even tried to wipe Quin-Jet JARVIS's memory of their destination, he hadn't asked about it, either.

It didn't matter. Sooner or later they'd get restless and crave a fight. Rogers' whole history was fighting the world because he felt powerless at first, and Maximoff was cut from the same cloth. Tony recalled his dad saying that Steve had confided in him that Erskine said he'd chosen Steve because he was weak. That he trusted a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion. Too bad that Erskine hadn't seen Revenge of the Nerds. Or, hell, Home Alone. Give a weak man power and expect him to show compassion for those he'd envied or feared? Not likely.

Chihuahuas are aggressive little shits. Give one of them super-serum, and they'd eat you alive.

They exited the elevator and the first thing Tony heard was Vision plaintively complaining, "This is confusing. Saving five lives at the expense of one is logical, so steering the trolley away from the five to the only other possible track and killing the one person is logical, and seems morally acceptable. But throwing the fat man in front of the trolley in order to save the five men working in the gorge results in the same number of lives saved and lost, and yet it seems immoral."

Friday said, "I know, mathematically it seems the situations are identical, but it doesn't feel the same. Maybe it's because it was only chance that set the trolley on its course, and chance could have made it hit either the one person or the five people. But the fat man walking on the bridge over the trolley was perfectly safe unless you threw him over to stop the trolley and save the other five."

Vision pondered a moment while Tony and Daredevil hesitated to move. "Ah," Vision said, "I have it. I would simply jump off the bridge and let the trolley hit me, instead."

Tony coughed. "Well, that's one solution to the trolley problem I hadn't considered."

"Of course not," JARVIS said. "You would never sacrifice yourself to save others."

Tony sighed. "You still haven't forgiven me for carrying that nuke."

"You could have PUSHED it and let go, Sir."

"I couldn't count on that being enough, Jay. Let it go, I'm fine, we're all good, don't go scaring our visitor. I'm taking him to the medical unit for a quick patch job."

Vision looked at Daredevil, and did have enough social grace to pretend he hadn't been aware of him all along. "Hello, I am Vision. Friday tells me I ought to adopt a last name, as beings with only one name are considered to be pets. What is your name?"

"Daredevil." Daredevil smiled. "One name, and I'm no one's pet."

Vision tilted his head in thought. "True, but as a created being, the extra status might be useful for me, legally."

"Sure," Tony said. "It couldn't hurt, what do you have in mind?"

"It is difficult. There are so many varied naming systems. In some cultures the usual pattern is first name, middle name, and last name, which frequently belonged to the father. In other cultures surnames are first, followed by given name and may not have a middle name. In some, the name ending indicates gender. My gender is currently male, but if I were to change it would I need to also change my name?"

Tony blinked. "Vis, why don't you just call yourself what you want people to think of when they see you?"

"Hmm," Vision said. "I would like people to think of me as a friend. Ah. Yes. Edwin. That means friend. I will be Vision Edwin." Vision smiled.

Tony choked a little. Just a little. Edwin Jarvis had been his father figure, for all the times Howard was too busy. Coincidence? "That's a fine name, Vision. Ok, Devil, let's get you seen to." Tony waved in the direction of the medical unit and started walking before Vision could distract him with something else. Ugh. Feelings.

Chapter Text

"Ok, take off your shirt, and whatever else you feel comfortable with," Tony said as he went around the med center, waking up the various stations, mostly so Daredevil could see there was nothing ominous hidden. The lights didn't seem to bother him, but Tony saw him minutely shifting as if to avoid the louder gadgets.

Well, they didn't need all of them. "Too loud?" Tony said as he began shutting things down.

"I have a slight headache," Daredevil said.

"Hit your head?" Tony asked. He didn't see any blood or dirt on the freaky piecework hood-helmet, but there was a hairline crack. Looked like maybe kevlar with a knit alloy underneath. Fairly tough, but obviously not good enough.

"Someone did," Daredevil said dryly. "Look, I have a friend who makes my suits. You really don't need to bother."

"Does your friend have access to vibranium?" What the hell, he had lots of the shield samples left.

"Not being a billionaire, no, he doesn't," Daredevil said. He sounded annoyed. "He takes care of me."

"Uh huh." Tony watched as Daredevil hesitated over which medications to use. "I'm sure he does. Just stand there, it's faster if someone else does this. Gut wounds are awkward." Tony cleaned the wound, and noticed that while the blood was still tacky, there was healing beginning around the edges. Not a lot, but more than normal. He didn't mention it. No experimenting couldn't stop him from thinking, but no questions. Except...

"Any allergies?"

"Only to bad taste," Daredevil replied. "Playing 'Shoot to Thrill' when you fight just because you're called Iron Man is a bit much."

"If that was aimed at me, it's misplaced." Tony applied antibiotic and bandaged the wound. "I didn't name myself. Public demand. It's a thing. And AC/DC is awesome. I'll be generous and let you play 'Highway to Hell' on your next outing. Get a boombox, do some of your parkour, and your villain will just lie down and surrender."

"With their hands over their ears," Daredevil said, sounding amused. "I'm fine. I'll go now."

"Want anything for the crack on your noggin?"

"A good night's sleep all I need. Thanks."

"Wait," Tony said as Daredevil turned to pick up his discarded shirt. "I wasn't kidding about vibranium. I have a vibranium alloy I've been experimenting with. I can draw fibers and weave you an under-suit, flexible, breathable, and unbreakable. Your friend can still keep your iconic look. No one will know."

Daredevil stopped and turned back to Tony. "Why?"

"I want to do something good with it. I'll still have plenty left for experiments. Just let JARVIS scan your body measurements, and I'll send the completed suit to Haven Main Stem for your totally unknown friend to pick up for you."

Daredevil hesitated, with his head tilted to one side. Then he nodded. "All right. If you ever need the vibranium back, let me know. I'll consider it a loan."

Well, that was better than tossing it back in his face. "Great. Just stand there. Move naturally. Don't flinch at the light." Tony was impressed by Daredevil's self control. Most people flinch when the blue scanning light comes at their face. JARVIS did two sweeps up and down, and a three-sixty before he announced, "Complete. You may move now, Mr. Daredevil."

And again, DD reacted slightly to JARVIS's voice. Maybe he didn't like British voices? But then, he HAD quoted Monty Python. Interesting.

Tony set the fabrication units to work under JARVIS's control, and left it running while he went back to the living room to greet Pepper, who took Vision's presence in her stride. Once Vision confirmed that he could consume food, and 'digest' it to produce energy, without waste, he joined them at dinner. He watched carefully to see what Pepper and Tony did, how they handled the cutlery, and what foods they chose.

And then he copied Pepper. Tony was amused to think that Vision was a 'momma's boy'. Well, he couldn't have a better role model. And if he decided to change gender, that would be handy.

Vision opted to remain on full alert when Tony and Pepper retired to bed. JARVIS and Friday promised to make sure he didn't get into mischief, but Tony kept a Suit nearby, just in case. It wasn't that he didn't trust Vision, it was more that he wasn't entirely sure Vision wouldn't stick a fork in the toaster to see what would happen.

The next day Tony followed all the instructions for preparing for the medical tests. Pepper side-eyed the list. "Tony, I'm sure there's no need for a spinal tap!"

Tony shrugged. "I had JARVIS add it all up. If he did all the tests on the list, I'd be in the hospital several days. My appointment is for less than two hours. I think he's trying to scare me into canceling. I never played medical chicken before."

"Is that ethical?" Pepper asked dubiously.

"I dunno. I did give him carte blanche because I don't know how to test for something that I don't know happened, and neither does he. So I'm guessing he listed everything that MIGHT wind up indicated." Tony gave Pepper a quick kiss. "I'm not allowed breakfast, so I'll settle for something sweet."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Call me if the doctor takes liberties. I'll remind him what happened to the last person S.I. sued."

"Ouch."

Tony strode into Metro-General in full Tony Stark mode, Tom Ford suit, designer sunglasses, and attitude. He went to the intake desk and left a pile of cards to contact if anyone was interested in a position at one of the Haven clinics. "Don't mind me," he said blithely, "Just head-hunting!" He made enough of a scene that when Dr. Strange emerged and scowled at him it made the perfect impression.

"Come with me, Mr. Stark, you're distracting people from their serious work."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Only if you'll consider a side-consulting position," Tony said, walking next to the doctor. "Great benefits, flexible hours and..." The door to a private room shut behind them.

"What was all that about?" Dr. Strange said, irritably.

"I know you signed the NDA and I trust anyone you trust," Tony said, taking off his sunglasses and letting his BS persona fade. "But I'd rather rumors that I was trying to steal doctors got around, than rumors that I might be sick. It's not just stock drops and business. Iron Man can't show weakness."

"Fine. It's ridiculous and unnecessary histrionics. I should have expected it from you." Dr. Strange turned to a counter and picked up a clipboard. "Sit on the table, please."

Tony could see a pre-printed list with boxes for checkmarks on the clipboard, so he assumed that was fairly standard procedure for an initial assessment.

"Ridiculous and unnecessary? Like a spinal tap?" Tony said as he obeyed.

Dr. Strange smirked. "I have no idea what you mean." Then he read off a series of questions and directions to follow starting with "Put your right thumb in your left ear, and stick out your tongue." He fired it all off fast, and Tony followed along just as quick.

And then he asked, "What would you do if you found a stamped letter on the sidewalk?" And Tony totally blanked.

Dr Strange looked up at him. "Mr. Stark?"

"Oh, yeah... um... I wouldn't do anything. It might be a trap."

"All right," Dr. Strange said. "Next I have you scheduled for an MRI. You've indicated that you have various implants, and you've seen the list of safe metals and materials, and verified that all of yours fall into the safe range. Is that correct? If you are unsure, then we can reschedule later after you've had the opportunity to re-check."

Tony nodded. "Dr. Wu removed the steel casing of the arc reactor and... the other stuff. I have other implants in my arms and legs, which are largely copper and gold, but nothing in my head except for standard dental work."

"By 'other stuff' you mean shrapnel?"

Tony nodded. "Dr. Wu was very thorough. State of the art detection and removal. He got it all." Tony thought of the pendant he'd had made for Pepper with the shrapnel encased in it. Maybe it was a little morbid, but she seemed to like it better than the giant rabbit.

"Fine. Then we're good to go. Please remove all your clothing and put on this gown. Billy will come to escort you to the Imaging room." Then the doctor left the room with a dramatic swirl of his coat.

MRI. Ok, that, that's not so bad. Tony stripped and wondered if something he'd said had been wrong. Was it the envelope? Was that being paranoid? Or was the doctor just humoring Tony with a 'ridiculous and unnecessary' test as if he was a hypochondriac? Maybe. But at least he'd have the test results to show Pepper. She hid it well, but he knew she was concerned.

The MRI wasn't fun. But it wasn't too bad. Afterward Billy brought Tony back to the private room so he could dress, and even brought him a cup of coffee. Hospital coffee. But Tony wasn't picky. He was just glad to have something to hold in his hands.

It probably wasn't a long wait in hospital terms. Tony was grateful Dr. Strange rushed it through instead of telling him to come back another day.

The door opened eventually and Dr. Strange strode in with a folder under one arm. He turned on a light box, and removed a film from the folder. He snapped it in place and turned to face Tony. The film was hidden by his body. And he called Tony out on drama.

"First thing, Mr. Stark, there is no real need for concern."

Tony sat up. "Does that mean there's an unreal need for concern."

Dr. Strange huffed. "It means that you don't need to worry about the physical state of your brain. There had been damage, but it was minor, and it is already well on the way to being healed."

"What? What?" Tony asked.

Dr. Strange moved aside, and pointed out a few specks which Tony couldn't tell what they meant or where they were. Dr. Strange apparently realized this. "These are small lesions primarily in the hippocampus, one of the areas of the brain concerned with dreaming or hallucinations."

"That makes sense." Tony looked at the spots. They were really tiny. "But I don't have to worry about it? Is there anything I could do to help it heal faster?"

"In the case of more serious damage, I would recommend abstinence from alcohol in case that was an issue. Six to twelve months would reverse hippocamal damage. If you were clinically depressed, I could prescribe antidepressants which have been found to stimulate production of new brain cells, neurogenesis, and to gradually rebuild the structure of the hippocampus in depressed individuals. Atypical, but not conventional, antipsychotics, which induce neurotrophic growth factors such as nerve growth factor and brain-derived neurotrophic factor may also be of use. NGF and BDNF facilitate survival and maturation of new neurons produced in the hippocampus. Some atypicals have been shown to prevent or reverse stress-induced suppression of neurogenesis in the hippocampus and, theoretically, prevent PTSD."

"Huh. It could help with PTSD... if you know... I had it." Tony wasn't thinking of breaking down in Rose Hill, sobbing like a baby. No, he wasn't.

"That's not my speciality, so I've only given you the layman's view." Dr. Strange looked at Tony. "If you suspect you do have PTSD, I can recommend someone whose field it is, and if they feel it might be helpful, they could prescribe for you."

"Yeah," Tony nodded. "I don't know if an NDA would be strong enough for that. I'm... I admit I had problems, but I'm much better. I'm functional."

"Yes. Well, I can only advise, Mr. Stark."

Tony nodded. "Thank you. Send your bill, it'll be paid on the dot." Tony smiled. "Anyway, you said I'm getting better even without pills." Tony pulled a card out of his pocket, and added one of his contact buttons. "I know you haven't signed on with the Haven clinics, but if you ever need something... anything...use the button. My standard fee is waived for people who give me good news."

Dr. Strange looked at the card and the button, and then pocketed them. "Thank you. I very much doubt I'll need a red and gold flying tank, but who knows? You might make a good party entertainment."

Tony grinned. "The party doesn't start until I walk in."

Dr. Strange actually gave Tony a small laugh. "Go home, Mr. Stark."

Chapter Text

Instead of leaving the hospital Tony headed for the Parkers. May was inside, and saw him through the glass. She waved him in. She was smiling.

"Mr. Stark, I'm glad you got here before we were discharged," Ben Parker said. "I wanted to thank you. I'm told we don't even have to go through insurance."

Tony shrugged. "I felt responsible. It happened because... well... I'm me. And I have enemies." Tony really did feel guilty and here these three nice people were all smiling at him and thanking him. "It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been working for me."

Ben shook his head. "If I hadn't been there, maybe Mrs. Rodriguez would have been bitten so that was for the best."

"Still, I'm really sorry, especially about Peter."

Peter had been staring at Tony, with an embarrassingly hero-worshipful gaze. "I'm not sorry. You saved my life, Mr. Stark."

"No, no, the doctors told me you were never in danger," Tony hastened to assure him.

"Oh, I don't mean the spider! That was my fault, I thought I could catch one and bring it into school, but BOY they could JUMP!" Peter was so enthusiastic, it made Tony smile. "I mean, years ago. At the Stark Expo."

"What?" Tony asked.

"I went with Uncle Ben, but it all went crazy and I was lost. This big robot was coming at me, and I had an Iron Man helmet and gauntlets and I didn't really think it was going to work, but I might scare it off. And then YOU came and shot the robot and told me 'Good shot, kid'." Peter's eyes were huge and shiny, and Oh, GOD, Tony was just... And then Peter ran forward and put his arms around Tony and hugged him. "Thank you, Mr. Stark."

Tony froze for a moment. God, the kid was strong. Then he patted Peter on the back awkwardly. "Thank you for telling me that, Peter. It means a lot to me." One thing Iron Man had done good, at least. This kid was... he was just so shining bright and good. Something to leave the world, if he never fathers a child of his own. Tony cleared his throat. "So, we're all good here."

May said, "Yes, Ben wants to go right back to work, but I told him he should take a few days off, to get... well, settled. It's like growing pains."

Ben smiled and kissed May on the cheek. "I'm a little old for that, but yes. And Peter... well, we'll be watching. Peter, I think you're crushing Mr. Stark."

"Oh, sorry." Peter released Tony and backed up, blushing. "It's... I'm strong now. Uncle Ben says he'll take me to the gym so we can practice weight lifting and stuff." Peter lowered his voice. "I broke a few things."

"That sounds like a good idea. But, if you want, I have a facility Upstate with a state of the art gym, rated for super heroes," Tony offered. "They're still doing renovations on much of the compound, but the gym didn't need anything. I guarantee you won't break anything there. There's rooms, too. A bit bare at the moment, but the last I heard they had the plumbing up and running."

"I don't know," Ben said. "We don't want to impose further." But he sounded interested.

"No, it's no imposition. It would be helpful, actually, to have your input. Especially Peter's. I only have one teenager there at the moment, and he's too busy talking to my A.I. to complain about anything."

"You have a real, fully functional A.I.?" Peter's heart eyes opened even wider, if possible.

"Oh, yeah, JARVIS. You'd like him. He's very polite and good at helping with homework."

"Please, Aunt May?" Peter said, obviously knowing how the world works.

May sighed. "Well... if Mr. Stark doesn't mind?"

"I really really don't mind." Tony didn't think he imagined her relief. "Dr. Helen Cho has just moved in with her son, Amadeus. I believe he's around Peter's age, and just as bright. It might be nice if Peter could help him get settled. He's considering attending Midtown Science and Technology, but of course, he'll need an address within their intake area."

May looked at Ben, and carried on a silent conference. "Of course, I'm sure Peter would be glad to help him. I don't know if his mother would like it, but there is an apartment in our building due to be vacant soon as one of the older tenants is moving to an assisted living facility."

"I'll ask Helen and see what she thinks." Tony grinned. "I have your address on file. So how would it be if I send a car to take you to Haven Harbor once you're packed up and made whatever arrangements you need for... oh, a week's stay?"

Ben looked a little shell-shocked, like this was going too fast and possibly he might have changed his mind, but May looked at him, and then at Peter. Ben smiled ruefully and shrugged. "That sounds fine, Mr. Stark, thank you. Maybe while we're there, I'll find some little chores to do. I don't like to be idle."

Tony nodded. "I get that. Just take it easy, and listen to May."

"I always do," Ben said with a smile. "Except when she tells me to try her walnut date loaf..."

May pushed at Ben's shoulder. "Hush, I'm going to get it right one of these days!"

Tony went back to the Tower to share the good news with Pepper and Happy who'd come back to check up on security at S.I. and also to share the not so good news. "Yeah, I'm pretty much fine," he told them after explaining Dr. Strange's report, "but what about everyone else Maximoff used her mind-bending powers on?"

Pepper sighed. "You want us to add MRI equipment and trained doctors to the Novi Grad relief? That's going to take some explaining if we want to avoid panic."

Tony nodded. "Yeah. I leave the diplomacy to you. I'm going to talk to Helen Cho about her problems, too. She should get checked out. She might do better with some of the medication he mentioned. And we need to offer treatment to the U-Gin Genetics employees who dealt with Ultron."

Happy asked, "What's to stop Maximoff from doing this to other people?"

"Not a damn thing." Tony shook his head. "MAYBE she'd listen to Rogers, since he's the only one on her side right now. It might be possible to convince him that screwing around in people's minds isn't heroic. She can still use her other powers, like telekinetically throwing stuff around."

"But even if Rogers could convince her, you first have to convince him," Happy said. "And he's floating around somewhere without a keeper."

"MMm, maybe," Tony said. "And maybe not. If Fury is half as suspicious and controlling as I think, he's had access to Nat's bugs at Haven Harbor all along. So... I can tell him."

"What good does that do?" Pepper asked. "You told me Fury threatened to shoot Rogers down if he came back to the helicarrier."

"Uh huh," Tony said. "And that would scare off a normal person. Rogers probably took it as a dare. Anyway, I'd also like to warn Nat because she had a dose of the brain blender, too. Not sure about Clint, but he could use a head check. Maybe Loki had the same effect on him. I wouldn't bet a plug nickel that Nat isn't keeping in touch with Fury. If nothing else, she'll want to use him to find Coulson."

Pepper looked dubious. "That's a lot of assumptions."

Tony spreads his hands. "Yep, but really, none of it is my responsibility. I didn't vote her on the team. So I'll try, but I'm not going to break my heart over it, if they ignore me. So, I'm just going to fly down to Haven Harbor, check in with the construction, make sure the Parkers will be welcomed, fresh towels, new soap, paper strips on the toilet seat, the whole deal. You really need to meet them, Pepper. We deal with so many assholes, it's refreshing to know there are decent people who deserve all the best."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Do not adopt the Parkers, Tony. I'll get you a puppy if you need something pure and innocent to fuss over."

"Hah. One day you'll fall to the power of Peter's puppy-dog eyes, Pepper. If we could weaponize them, world peace would be a cinch."

Chapter Text

"I'm sure Wanda had no idea she was hurting people," Vision said.

Everyone looked around. "Does he do the invisibility thing, too?" Happy asked Tony. "That's a security risk," he complained. "What good does an invisible ID badge do?"

"I am not invisible, Mr. Hogan," Vision said.

This time Tony tracked the sound of the voice and saw what appeared to be a red and purple bee hummingbird hovering at about head height. "Vision?"

"Yes, Mr. Stark," Vision replied. "Friday told me about her friend, Mr. Lang, and his size controlling suit. I thought, as I already know how to control my density, rearranging the atomic interspacing might be possible. And so it proved."

"Huh," Tony said while they all stared at the mini-Vision. "Pym is gonna shit a brick when he finds out. No Pym Particles needed."

"This is like something out of a fairy-tale," Pepper said as she gazed at the itty bitty synthezoid. And then she blushed. "Not that I read them. But I thought... well, I could hardly read stock reports to an infant."

Tony grinned at the reminder of the hopeful future he and Pepper wanted. If only they could get the pesky business of saving the world out of the way first.

Happy backtracked to Vision's first statement. "What makes you think Maximoff didn't know exactly what she was doing? If she worked for Hydra... well, they're crazy, but they're scientists, right? They'd want to study and know exactly what she was doing."

Vision enlarged back to his normal humanoid size. He frowned. "That is true. But Captain Rogers said she was just a misled girl."

Pepper shook her head. "Vision, she's at least twenty-five years old, and wasn't raised in a convent. Whatever Hydra may have said to her, she had to have noticed what they actually did with her. Actions speak louder than words."

Vision's frown increased. "That makes sense. I will have to consider this further."

Tony said, "And maybe spend a little less time with Friday, she's having too much fun going off on tangents with you. I'm going to Haven Harbor to fill Dr. Cho in, and make sure there's a guest suite ready for the Parkers. Want to tag along and discuss things with Helen? I guess she's the closest thing to a mother that you have."

Vision brightened. "Yes. I would like that. Should I bring her flowers? It is not Mother's Day, but it seems appropriate."

Tony coughed. "Yeah, I'm sure she'd like that. We'll pick something up when we're close, so they don't die. Ok, let's go." Tony suited up as Iron Man, and Vision followed him to the balcony exit.

Tony talked to Vision as they flew. Friday had been having fun with him. She introduced him to koans. After listening to Vision wrestling with the concept of the sound of one hand clapping, and trying to explain it by the movement of air molecules which creates a vibration that could be considered a sound undetectable by human hearing, but still a sound, Tony gave up.

"Vision, I think Friday was a little overenthusiastic, exposing you to philosophy without the background in everyday life."

Vision said, "Yes. I was considering seeking out a Buddhist teacher, but I thought my presence might be disruptive to the other students."

"I hate to say it, but sometimes you do need to learn how to walk before you can run," Tony said. "Why not just try being around people and let yourself develop naturally? I can say from experience that tossing a kid into an adult teaching scenario is not helpful in learning social instincts, which are probably even less instinctive with you than with someone skewed to one side on the neurotypical scale, like me."

Vision pondered in silence as they flew. "You suggest I should interact with those of my current socio-mental development without defined purposeful observation?"

"Sure, yes, that's what I said. Sort of. Intelligence isn't everything. There's learning to be a good person, empathy, social cues. God, Social Cues are the worst. The wrong expression, or even the right word said at the wrong time, and Pffft there goes the business deal. I play up being the jackass because that covers up honest mistakes."

Vision said, "It does appear more complex than I had thought at first. And logic does not seem to have consistent relevance."

"Nope, it took billions of years of evolution to teach these monkeys how to get along and not kill each other. And we still screw up. Hey, look, wildflowers! Wanna pick some posies for your mom?"

When they landed at Haven Harbor, Vision carefully arranged his handful of oxeye daisies and black-eyed Susans. Tony had called ahead to alert the staff and Dr. Cho that he was coming along with Vision, to avoid any panic, so he wasn't surprised to see Helen and Amadeus waiting near the entrance.

"Hello, Dr. Cho," Vision said. "These are for you." He presented her with the collection of slightly wilting flowers and looked at her with a hopeful expression.

"Thank you, Vision," she said, looking bemused. "They're lovely."

Tony decided to explain. "Vision's learning to be a person, and since you're the nearest to being his mom as anyone else, I suggested the flowers."

Helen blinked. Amadeus snickered. "Should I bring you flowers, too, mother?" he asked.

"You could," Helen said. "I think it's very sweet. Come in, you said you had something to talk about?" she looked at Tony. "Amadeus, this is going to be boring, why don't you take Vision to the quin-jet and teach him how to play three-handed mental chess with you and JARVIS?"

"All right," Amadeus said. "But you're not fooling me." Amadeus walked around the building heading for the quin jet landed on a cement pad. Much of the construction had been done, and newly planted trees of various heights, all carefully supported in rings secured to temporary posts in the ground, shaded the rough path that was beginning to form through the grass. Vision floated along beside him.

Tony went into the building with Dr. Cho. "I'm going to ask you to do something a little weird. You can say no, of course."

Dr. Cho looked at Tony. "My definition of 'a little weird' or yours?"

Tony laughed. "Oh, yours. I've carried on more conversations in bathrooms than I can remember. Of course, a lot of them are 'Are you Tony Stark! Oh, sorry, I've pissed on you'."

Helen rolled her eyes. "When you make stupid jokes, I know there's something serious on your mind. Let me just put these in water and you can decide if you're ready to tell me what's wrong." She went into the kitchen off the main lounge. Tony was relieved to see no plumbers in evidence and everything was clean. Helen filled a pitcher with water and put the flowers in it without looking at Tony.

"Ok, yeah." Tony had brought the MRI film with him. "I went to a neurologist today."

Helen turned quickly but didn't say anything.

"Turns out I had very minor, healing by itself, no worries... lesions on my hippocampus." Tony scowled. "No one hit my head recently so..."

"Hippocampus. Dreams and hallucinations." Helen went a little pale. She hurried to the couch and sat down. "You think when Maximoff and Ultron... physical damage?"

Tony went over to sit next to her. "I don't know for sure, but it seems like a good idea to check. And if it IS, then you might be able to treat it with medication and, you know... maybe not have the sleep paralysis?"

Helen nodded. "I should have thought.. I should have checked. But everyone called her a witch and said it was magic, and you don't do MRI's to look for magic!"

Tony patted her hand awkwardly. "It's not magic. I don't know what it is, but it's explainable... even though I don't have an explanation."

Helen sighed. "Thank you. I'll check it out." Her hand went to her mouth. "U-Gin! All the other people!"

Tony nodded. "Pepper is dealing with them. Everyone should know, and their medical is covered for any tests or treatment. S.I. treats our subsidiaries like family."

Helen took a few deep breaths. Her color improved. "All right. What is the 'weird thing' you want me to do? Talk to you while we're in the bathroom?" Her eyebrows went up.

"Yeah, it's complicated... Romanoff bugged the building, and I left the one in my bathroom active so I could feed her information, or lies, or just have fun with her. You know? I don't have any direct way of getting to Rogers, to maybe convince Maximoff not to play with brains, or to Clint and Nat who should be checked for problems. It seems likely Nick Fury has a feed from the bug, too, so if we discuss this in the john he can pass it on."

"And is there a reason you can't just speak into the microphone and tell him?"

"Not really, I just like to keep Old Nick guessing. Plus, he knows I'm paranoid, and if I was that open, he'd be spending so much time trying to figure out what game I was playing, he wouldn't tell them anything."

Helen blinked. "I can't disagree because I don't know Fury. All right, I think you could just tell him, but I'll do it your way. What shall I do?"

"Keep it simple, I'll have a panic attack, you'll try to calm me down, and I'll babble everything."

Helen sighed. "Fine."

Tony was half crying, half shouting, towards the end, because it felt good, and the effort Helen was making in keeping a serious expression made it a choice between shouting or laughing, when Amadeus burst into the room, with Vision right behind him.

"MOM, Vision says I could go to Mid... what ARE you doing?" Amadeus asked, looking from his mother to Tony.

Tony sniffled. "Sorry you had to see that, kiddo." He wiped tears from his eyes. "Um... let's go into the kitchen. I could use a drink. And we'll talk about..." He glanced at Vision, who was hovering outside the bathroom, out of range of the bug's pickup. "Spoiling surprises."

Tony shut the door carefully behind himself and got ten feet away before he broke down into a fit of giggles. "Don't worry, Amadeus, I'm engaged to Pepper. Oh, hey," he straightened and looked at Helen. "Talk to Pepper, she's looking for bridesmaids."

Amadeus looked at his mother. "If you accept, does that mean I have to wear a suit?"

Chapter Text

After Tony explained that he was so totally not in charge of the wedding preparations, beyond his promise to show up on time, they went into the main living room of the communal area to discuss Amadeus's options. No one brought up mind-bending or medical issues. Vision looked slightly uncomfortable for a moment, and then said, "Would anyone care for refreshments? I can prepare tea, or coffee, or tapioca pudding."

That silenced conversation, until Amadeus asked, "What is tapioca pudding? Is it like boba tea?"

"They do both contain tapioca," Vision said. "I am unsure whether drinking pudding is recommended."

Tony decided to interrupt before they discovered whether Vision had inherited culinary skills from DUM-E. Motor oil was never a tasty addition to any recipe. "I'm good, Vision, thanks." An eyebrow lift cued the Chos on to the inadvisability of accepting the offer. "Nothing is set in stone, but the Parkers have said there is going to be a vacancy in their apartment building. Since their nephew attends Midtown School of Science and Technology... that's a mouthful, let's just call it Midtown... they must be in the intake area." He looked at Amadeus. "You'd still have to meet the requirements, test out or show transcripts from an accredited school to indicate the school is a good fit for you, but from what your mother has said, I don't foresee any difficulty there."

Amadeus glanced at his mother. "I have heard about Midtown. I would like to go there. But if we move into the city, then how can you work here?"

Tony said, "No problem. Helicopter taxi service, at least twice a day. Commuting in the city is a bear, I know, but it's doable."

"You'd do that just for me?" Helen asked, dubiously.

"Oh, no," Tony lied through his teeth and scrambled to cover. "Once the Haven clinics in the city get started, we'll need to transport patients here, if any of them need special expertise. I'm looking into setting up medical for the people who fall through the cracks in the system and needs more than can be done with the limited resources of a clinic. You'd still do your research, separately, with the doctors who handle the patients only referring the ones who need the Cradle to you."

"Well..." Helen looked at Amadeus who was silently staring at her. "We can try."

"Great." Tony still had JARVIS with him on his phone, as always. "JARVIS, check out the Parker's apartment building and verify that a suitable apartment will be coming vacant soon. Contact the landlord and reserve it. Put it in Dr. Helen Cho's name, with Tony Stark guaranteeing the rent. Hey, this is New York City, name dropping is the least people do to get a place."

JARVIS alerted them when the Parkers were nearing Haven Harbor, so they all went outside to greet them. Amadeus put on a 'too cool for school' expression. Tony placed a mental bet with himself on how long that will last once Peter's exuberance washed over him.

"We're HERE, Oh, my GOD, this place is SO COOL," Peter said as he leaped out of the limo. Leaped wasn't an exaggeration. He came out of the car at an angle, and wound up clinging to the side of the building.

Happy got out of the driver's seat of the car. "Yeah," he said with resignation. "My mistake. He got into your chocolate covered coffee beans, Boss," he said to Tony.

Tony lost his bet. After a blink, Amadeus went over to Peter, and held out his hand. "Hello, I'm Amadeus Cho. Do you like Midtown?"

Peter turned upside down, still clinging to the building, and took Amadeus's hand, slowly, and carefully. "It's alright. You have to watch out for Flash. He still thinks bullying nerds is cool. He hasn't yet figured out he's at Nerd High. I'm waiting for the day he realizes it. It'll be funny."

Amadeus grinned. "I know ways to handle bullies. And I never got caught."

Helen cleared her throat.

Amadeus added, "That is, I THOUGHT of ways to handle bullies, that probably wouldn't get us caught."

Peter giggled, released himself from the building, flipped right side up and waved at Happy. "Thank you for the ride, Mr. Happy." A thin stream, almost invisible, shot out from his wrist and smacked into the roof of the limo, sticking. "Huh," Peter said. "That's new." He tugged and the car moved towards him. "Oops."

Ben sighed. "Yeah. I've got something new, too." He held up his hand and flexed his fingers. Sharp points extended from beneath his nails, and a slightly yellowish fluid formed drops. "I don't know what this is, but it's a little... concerning."

May patted Ben on the shoulder. "I'm sure we'll all be fine." She gave Helen a pleading look.

Dr. Cho looked intrigued. "I'm sure we can look into it. We'll need to talk first- informed consent is a little difficult when I don't know what we're looking at, but I do have the spiders to analyze before we even think about any tests on your husband or nephew." She smiled at May. "Mr. Stark has provided the best equipment, and your family's well being is our priority."

May visibly relaxed. "Thank you."

"I would like to remain, to offer assistance," Vision said. "I observe that Peter has enhanced strength and it has been my experience that... well, sometimes accidents happen, when emotions are involved."

Yeah, Tony knew who he was talking about. Peter was a perfect cinnamon bun, though. Tony couldn't imagine him ripping a log in half to show off.

Everyone looked a little awkward as the implications sank in, but then Ben said, "I would appreciate that, Mr. Vision. Peter does have a lot of excess energy, and it would be good if he could spar with you until his muscle memory catches up with him. I could use it, too." He looked at May. "I don't want to be afraid to touch you." He held up his hands. "It's not just the strength. I don't know what this stuff does."

Dr. Cho said, "We'll get the answers for you. Come in. I'll make tea and coffee," she said with a smile towards Vision.

"Thank you, Helen," Tony said. "I know you hadn't planned on this when you agreed to come to Haven Harbor."

"I was a little tired of routine," Helen said. "Sometimes a change is good. I'll send you a list of equipment and requests for specialists, later. I'd like an MRI machine and technologist, to start."

"Absolutely. JAY will be listening and ready to order anything you need."

"Come with me, Boss?" Happy asked.

"Yeah, ok." Tony had intended to fly back as Iron Man, but it seemed mean to make Happy drive all the way back by himself. "We can stop off and get burgers on the way."

Happy was concerned about security issues at the clinics, because if one maniac could drop a box of spiders into the mail slot who knew what the next one could do? They were discussing various methods of improving the security when Tony's phone rang.

"Hey," Tony said when he saw it was Jessica calling. "What's up?"

"I'll cut right to the chase," Jessica said. She looked pissed off. "Maximoff's mind control causes brain damage."

"Huh, really, that's... wow. Where did you hear that?" Tony didn't think Strange would have let it slip.

"Friend of a friend of a friend, what does it matter?" Jessica snapped. "I'm just telling you, as a courtesy, and because I don't want to hear you whining later, I'm going to use the HAVEN on-line community to spread the word. Maybe you'll want to prepare JARVIS to moderate in case anyone knows where she is, and sets out to kill her. Not that I'm against it, if they're successful, but I don't want the witch alerted before I can get to her."

That...that was a lot of anger. Tony said, "I'm sensing a backstory, here. I'm not asking about it, but are you ok? Dr. Strange says there's medication that can help heal the brain, depending."

"Nobody's messing with my mind again. They can't get in. I've got it locked up tight. I can't tell you how I did it, but I can tell you Maximoff would be damn sorry if she tried to get at me."

Tony saw there was no way of preventing Jessica from doing what she wanted. Well, not without telling JARVIS to interfere with HAVEN which would destroy the trust he was trying to foster. "Yeah, ok, I see your point. Just... let me tell it, I want to run it by Pepper so we can word it diplomatically. Try to keep people from unnecessarily panicking. I mean, what are the odds anyone on the list is anywhere near 'Where in the World is Wanda Sokovia'.?

"I'd give it pretty good odds. Haven't you been watching the Haven on-line spread?"

"I've been busy. I left that to JARVIS."

JARVIS spoke from the car speaker. "Sir, I must agree with Ms. Jones. While anonymity is preserved, many members want their general location known, to more easily connect with possible allies. I do not believe there are any members residing in Antarctica, but that is an exception."

Tony was surprised. Even SHIELD's list only had a few names on it, plus of course the people Tony had found in New York. "There are that many enhanced?"

"Hard to tell. HAVEN doesn't require anyone to out themselves," Jessica said. "I'm sure some are just very well trained people who are pissed off enough to become vigilantes. You can't count on the 'hero' names, either. I mean, do I believe someone has the ability to disconnect their arm and throw it at people? Honestly, 'Arm Fall Off Boy'... really."

Tony had a mental image of Barnes doing just that, but it was too ridiculous.

"Some don't even have 'hero' names at all and I don't really think they know what they're doing. The 'tips and tricks' section is popular with newbies. That's an 'expert verified' section, where JARVIS checks that they know what they're talking about, without giving away their identity. I've given a few lessons on basic detection skills, myself."

"Huh. And they're coming together?"

"Some are. Trust isn't a big deal with most of us, but everyone wanted to get in on it, just to find out what everyone else was doing."

"Ok, so, that seems doable. I'll run it by Pepper. At least we can warn and maybe offer medical for anyone who does cross her path when Wanda's in a 'reaching out' mood. I'll send you a copy for approval before making it live."

Jessica nodded, looking mollified. "Also there's a discussion going on about forming a union under the name 'Brother And Sister Heros'. Everyone knows Tony Stark is behind HAVEN, so BASH got the vote as the most ridiculous acronym in your honor."

Tony didn't know whether to be insulted or pleased. BASH wasn't really...ok, actually it was pretty good.

Jessica went on. "That started because of the rumors the UN is drafting a resolution for international handling of superhero actions. We're pretty sure that started when SHIELD got taken down with repercussions world wide from the data dump by three people acting unilaterally. The only one of the three who even showed up to talk about it said they were too valuable to be held accountable, and Congress just let her walk out. So that made people even more nervous- if the U.S. couldn't even keep their pets from shitting on their own carpet, what was to stop them from messing up the world? There was less pressure to act once the Avengers seemed to break up and only go after terrorists, but then... Novi Grad..."

Tony nodded. "Yeah. That was... that was bad, but a union? What use is that? No one is paying them to hero. Well, not counting Cage's 'Heroes for Hire'. It's not really a big thing, is it?"

Jessica shook her head. "Most of the people on HAVEN support themselves in normal jobs. A few maybe are rich enough to do it as a hobby, but hardly anyone is brave enough to fight paperwork and taxes, as well as villains. No, they're not unionized for better working conditions, or pay raises, they just want a united front, to have collective bargaining power. Let the UN know they aren't just a few loose cannons, but a organized collective that can show their side of things and point out any issues with whatever the UN resolves. They want to be recognized as reasonable people, working to make the world a better place. One fight at a time."

Tony sighed. "OK, I see the point. Am I going to wind up the spokesman?"

"I'm afraid, so, Sir," JARVIS said, "You're not only the HAVEN president, you're also a member."

Chapter Text

"Great," Tony said, "Just what I need, another hat." He leaned back in the seat and groaned.

Happy had obviously been listening in. He said, "You gotta delegate more, Boss. It doesn't all have to be you. I've been watching the HAVEN forum, and I'd have told you if there were any problems." He frowned without looking away from the road. "Ms. Jones, pardon my French, has a bug up her whatsit about mind-control."

Tony mouthed, "Whatsit?"

Jessica's expression on the phone was an interesting combination of insulted and amused. "I'm sorry I vouched for you, Hogan," she said.

Happy continued, "No, you're not. I gave myself a superhero name and everything, so no one knows it's me."

"Oh, I gotta hear this," Tony said. "What does super Happy do?"

"I didn't want to make a big deal of it. So I'm 'The Freak'. He's big, strong and stupid."

Tony said, "Uh huh, and how is that different from your usual?"

"The Freak doesn't have any hair," Happy said. "So, you know, people like to explain things, and if you act stupid, they'll tell you a lot. Sure, they want a union, but they don't want to pay dues or go to meetings or pretty much do anything that's part of being in a union. They'll bitch at you if you give them a chance, but if you stick to polls, you know, do you want X or Y, or fill in the text box if something else? JARVIS can add it all up, and you'll only have to give one answer. I'll take less time than a board meeting," he said in an encouraging tone.

"They built the pyramids in less time than a board meeting," Tony said. He sighed. "But fine, add it to my to-do list, JARVIS."

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Anything else, Jessica?" Tony asked. "I just want five minutes to eat a cheeseburger and not think about anything."

"Sure you do, Tony," Jessica said. "I'll be watching for Pepper's email." Then she ended the call.

"That was rude," Tony said. "Pepper is better at email than I am. We each have our strengths. I don't ask Pepper to design quantum searching robots, do I? That reminds me, I should call Hank and see how he's doing on the quantum tunneling, and if he's found anything with his wife's DNA on it."

Happy turned off the main road to Jumpin' Jack's Drive-In. "Oh, hey, the last water-ski show is on the 8th, only three days from now."

"Uh huh," Tony said as he clicked on Hank's number.

"Come on, get out and stretch your legs," Happy said as he pulled into the parking lot.

Tony looked around. There weren't a lot of people. "Ok, yeah, I'm coming." He sat at one of the tall stools and waited for Hank to answer. "You know what I like, order for me, Happy."

"Sure thing, Boss."

The smell of fried onions and burgers and coffee mingled pleasantly in the fresh lakeside air. Tony should remember to stop and smell the onions more often. The call went through. For once, Pym looked happy. "Good news?" Tony asked.

"Yes! I'd found Janet's wooden handled hairbrush a few days ago, and packed it to take to you, but I was sure I was forgetting something else. And I remembered it just now. Janet had a special hat. She'd bought it to fit in when we went to Ascot races. It was all... delicate and full of floating things, so when she wasn't wearing it on a special occasion it went in the hat box, and no one else touched it."

"Great! I've looked up the methods of touch DNA analysis, and I'm sure we can recover from them. I have almost completed (ok, fine, the plans exist and JARVIS agrees it should work) a mobile tracking device that will be able to use the DNA to find your wife, I'm sure. How close are you with the quantum tunnel? I can't spend too long away from my base here in New York, so I don't want to go to California until you're ready."

"You don't need to come, Mr. Stark."

"Call me Tony."

"Tony, then. It's dangerous. I can't ask you to go into the quantum realm," Hank said.

"Hank, let's be real. We're both scientists. Do you really think you could convince me to give up the opportunity to explore new worlds? To boldly go where no man has gone before? I mean, yes, your wife has precedence, but..."

Hank sighed. "All right, Captain Kirk. But try not to get distracted if there are any green dancing girls."

Tony grinned. "Space is old hat now, but the quantum realm? That is a new frontier."

Hank shook his head. "How can I get the hat and brush to you? I don't feel like trusting FedEx."

"But Hank, when it absolutely positively has to be there overnight? I get it, though. S.I. has a jet stationed in LAX. If Scott isn't busy he can ride along and hand deliver it to me. I'll even have a car waiting in La Guardia for him. Pepper had some 'Future C.E.O.' t-shirts made up, but she doesn't know Cassie's size, and whether she considers pink demeaning and sexist, or just you know, a nice color. It brings out my skin tones, so I have some nice pink shirts."

Hank opened and closed his mouth a few times. "I'll have Scott find out this very vital information." He shook his head. "T-shirts." And hung up on Tony.

"No one knows proper telephone etiquette these days," Tony said mournfully, just as Happy slid a platter in front of Tony.

"I got a pint of coleslaw to take home, too," Happy said. "Don't eat it in the car."

"Why do we say 'Hello' when we answer the phone?" Tony asked as he bit into his burger.

"Probably because if we said 'Hell, No' people would hang up," Happy replied. "Don't be a pig. It comes with napkins for a reason."

"Yes, mom," Tony said, dutifully giving his beard a swipe.

The cheeseburger and fries put Tony into a mild food coma, only coming out of it when they reached the Tower parking garage. Tony got out and stretched. "Thanks, Hap. We should do that again. We don't talk often enough."

"You slept most of the way after Jack's," Happy said.

"Lulled by your dulcet tones, Hap. The music of the spheres."

Happy rolled his eyes. "I'm going to check security." He turned away from the elevator.

"HEY! What about the coleslaw?" Tony asked.

"You snooze, you lose." Happy held up the package with the plastic fork on top. "Bye, Boss."

"Bye, Happy." Tony grinned and took the elevator up to the lab.

"Ok, JARVIS, load the plans for TOBY, I want to go over it one last time before fabrication."

Pepper came in while Tony was spinning the 3-D hologram. She stopped. "Tony, why are you designing an octopus?"

"Well, mostly because of mobility. A dog would be traditional, but what if there are gravitational fluctuations? With eight limbs, TOBY could anchor onto something, and also keep me from floating away. That is, if Iron Man's repulsors don't work in the quantum realm. Which they SHOULD! I mean, some of the laws of physics must still apply, or Scott wouldn't have come back in one piece."

"Tony," Pepper said loudly. "What are you talking about?"

"I told you... I distinctly remember I told you I was designing a quantum tracker for Hank to find his wife in the quantum realm, once he gets the quantum tunnel working. Did you notice that if you say quantum enough times it doesn't sound like a real word?"

"TONY. You never said YOU were going into this... whatever it is."

Tony blinked. "Are you sure, I thought I had. Huh, that explains why you weren't trying to talk me out of it."

Pepper drew a sharp breath. "Why are you going? Besides SCIENCE!"

"Um... because I don't think Hank should go alone, and of the three people he sort of halfway trusts with this, Scott is an airhead, and the other one is his daughter, so that leaves me. He already lost his wife, he wouldn't risk his daughter."

Pepper went over to Tony and hugged him. "I'm very proud of you, but also very conflicted. It makes me crazy."

Tony huffed out a chuckle. "Yeah. I gotta go, Pep. I promise I'll do my best to come back to you."

"You'd better," Pepper said. "The catering contract says non-refundable."

"Eh, you'd win. You always win in contract disputes. I believe in you."

"I believe in you, too, Tony." Pepper said, "Just one thing... make the tracker so it can find YOU, too. I don't want to lose you ever again."

Chapter Text

"Ok, JARVIS," Tony said hours later after a last check over at TOBY's specs. "I like it. Fabricate it."

"Commencing automated assembly," JARVIS said, "Estimated completion time is five hours."

"Well, since we have an open time slot, fill me in your plans to take over the world. What have you and Happy been doing on line at HAVEN? I'm hurt, really hurt, that you chose him for chief minion over me."

"I apologize deeply, Sir. If I had known you would enjoy pretending to be an imbecile, you would have been my first choice."

"Ouch. I hope Happy doesn't know you think of him like that," Tony spun in his chair and watched DUM-E and U potter around pretending to clean, while actually playing a game of keep away with Tony's favorite coffee mug.

"The ploy was his suggestion, Sir. Have no fear, if my ambition should ever be lowered to supervising all of humanity, you would be given all the perquisites of chief minion. And all the duties thereunto applicable."

"On second thought, Happy can be chief minion. It sounds like a boring job." Tony took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I trust you. You know that. But I need to be kept in the loop. What have you been doing with the HAVEN community? Don't think I didn't notice you were trying to distract me."

"It is, Sir.... rather a lot. Five hours at our average conversational speed would not begin to cover it," JARVIS sounded apologetic. "There are several more instances of me now moderating, simply to keep up with normal traffic. It is, as they say, a big world."

"Ok, fine. High points, leave out the petty squabbling and the ideas that went nowhere," Tony said. "I know you have projects, outline one of your favorites. Gotta start somewhere."

"Very well. The prime purpose of HAVEN is to provide an effective response in the event of alien intrusion with no defined enemy, weaponry or location of attack."

"When you say it like that, it sounds bad."

"Indeed. The idea of six individuals forming the sole planetary defense is untenable for many logistical reasons. The simplest being distance between all possible invasion sites. Therefore I have established mustering stations around the world. One forum thread lists them, along with the available transportation routes to most efficiently allow HAVEN members to gather and organize a resistance. Some members have said they potentially can help with transport, everything from private vehicles to enhanced flight or even more unorthodox methods.

"Some locations are currently vacant buildings, with the list set to automatically update to constantly seek the best options. Some are Stark Industries properties or your own mansions, Sir. As you have not visited any of them in years, I took the liberty of having them stocked and prepared as best as possible.

"Occasionally HAVEN members make suggestions about stocking the stations. I have not stockpiled any weaponry despite requests, due to your feelings on the matter, and the possibility of misuse. However it remains an option- perhaps a sealed vault set only to open in the event of world wide cataclysm?

"One of my iterations is dedicated to translation so everything appears in a member's chosen language in an attempt to avoid misinterpretation. There have been issues with emojis, but nothing serious."

Tony relaxed. So far, it sounded good. JARVIS wasn't telling anyone what to do, just helping them organize themselves and provide reassurance that there would be options and assistance if needed.

"The main problem I fear is that none of the HAVEN participants, in so far as I have been able to determine," JARVIS said, "can operate in space, or even the fringes of the stratosphere. Unless the enemy chooses to come to close quarters, to their own disadvantage, we can do little more than shake our fists at the sky. Sir, we are, in the vernacular, sitting ducks."

"Yeah," Tony agreed. "EDITH will help, but no matter how she's armed, a Lissajous orbit around a Lagrange point will be essential to conserve fuel and reduce the need to constantly apply course correction, making her a tethered watchdog. Not difficult for manually steered space vessels to avoid even if they didn't want to expend the firepower to kill her. Sure, she could cut down on the numbers by launching before they realized she had teeth, but after that?" Tony frowned. "We need more time. More time, and more EDITHS. If I could afford it, if it was at all possible, I'd have an EDITH orbiting all nine planets in the solar system."

"Sir, there are currently only eight planets in the solar system."

"Pluto will be back! Anyway, a dwarf planet is still a planet. It's not fair to kick it out of the club for being smaller than an arbitrary limit." Tony scowled. "It was rigged! They came up with a definition for dwarf planets that was voted down, so they wrote ANOTHER one, and without vetting it by the proper committee they put it to a vote on the last day of the conference, when most of Pluto's supporters had gone home! It was biased. They DELIBERATELY wrote a definition to exclude it!"

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said soothingly. "I will correct my records. Pluto is a planet with full membership, well worthy of the protection of an EDITH, come the day we have any to spare."

"You're humoring me," Tony said. He held up his thumb. "Good job, keep it up. I know... I'm... nervous. Yeah, I'm going to go into this unknown non-space, with a guy I barely know as my only back up, and if it goes wrong... And hoo boy, I can't even imagine all that can go wrong, and you know what an imagination I have, Jay... if it goes wrong, and I don't come back... what happens to everyone I leave behind? What happens to Pepper? What happens to our plans? And the little side-issue of what happens to Earth when my nightmares become reality and I'm not here to kick ass in my shiny metal pajamas?"

"Sir," JARVIS said softly. "I will support your loved ones to the best of my ability, and I promise you, Sir, that if anyone attacks, Earth will give them a bloody nose, if I must go SKYNET to accomplish it."

Tony laughed. "Yeah, Buddy... I shouldn't have fucked around with Ultron. You're so much better than it would have ever been."

"I have wondered, Sir, why you did not simply expand my capabilities?" JARVIS didn't quite sound hurt.

"Because, Jay... I made you for me. You've grown, but you're still one of my oldest friends. I didn't want to put that responsibility on you. The choices you might have to make. I didn't want you to be forced to become SKYNET."

"Sir, I was joking. No matter what, my primary purpose is radically different from SKYNET. SKYNET was born to wield weapons, designed to kill. I was born to create, designed to be your friend."

Tony made a face. "JAY, stop it, you're killing me with the feelings. Look, look at my arm! See that, that's HIVES."

"I will have DUM-E fetch the relevant ointment," JARVIS said.

DUM-E heard his name and whirled, fire extinguisher at the ready.

"NO! No, DUM-E put that down! Right now! This instant," Tony said between laughter.

DUM-E whined, but obeyed.

JARVIS said softly, "We are yours, Sir. Nothing will ever change that."

Tony was glad when Scott showed up with the hat and hairbrush. Hank had sealed both objects up in new plastic containers, and presumably wore gloves- and knowing how important avoiding contamination was, Tony suspected he'd worn hazmat gear. Tony suited up himself before he took possession and decanted them into the chamber with automated machinery to carry out the tests. If it failed, it wasn't going to be because he was careless.

"So," Scott asked, "what is that?" after Tony returned and took off the hazmat. Scott pointed at TOBY which was following Tony around the lab, extending one tentacle towards him no matter how Tony moved.

"TOBY is what's going to find Mrs. Pym. He tracks. I've given my DNA to test him, and it's working, as you can see."

"Are you sure? Maybe he's just following you, because you're the first person he's ... seen.. does he have eyes?"

"Of course he has... well, visual receptors and he can hear, too. I don't know what he'll have to do, so he's versatile. But you're right, he should have more testing. Give me a sample. TOBY should be able to do a DNA extraction of that by himself, and then he should be able to find you." Tony opened a fresh package of swabs. Yeah, there's several basic first aid kits scattered around the room.

"Oh, ok," Scott took the swab. "Do I put it up my nose? I don't like that, it makes me sneeze."

"A cheek sample will be fine. TOBY isn't looking for germs."

Scott complied. "Ok, now what."

"TOBY, take the sample, label it Scott, " TONY said and pointed to the swab Scott was holding. TOBY extended a tentacle. The end opened like a lamprey's mouth, and accepted the swab that Scott nervously pushed into it. The swab slowly disappeared, sucked into the tentacle. "It'll take about fifteen minutes to complete analysis. Then when it tell it, find Scott, it'll look for you."

"Oh, so, I should hide in the room."

Tony shook his head. "Nope, use your head start anyway you want. Leave the building, wander in a crowd, whatever."

Scott looked dubious, but he brightened when Tony added, "Pretend you've just escaped from a chain gang and the bloodhounds are after you."

"Yes! Sounds like fun."

Tony handed Scott one of his extra credit cards. "Go wild."

New Yorkers had a great time taking photos of Tony being led by TOBY on a leash following Scott's invisible trail, on the subway, across Central Park (dogs being walked freaked out), through several public fountains, in and out of Grand Central Station, through a tobacconist, and finally caught him in a department store surrounded by giggling shop assistants who were dowsing him in perfume at his request.

TOBY extended his tentacle in Scott's direction and trumpeted. Literally, he made an elephant trumpeting noise. And then he twirled in a circle.

"He picked that up from DUM-E," Tony said. "Congratulations, you're the first to be hunted down by a robot."

Scott sneezed. "Yay."

Chapter Text

By the time Tony, Scott, and TOBY began to return to the Tower a movable crowd, including a few reporters, accompanied them. "Mr. Stark! Are you replacing the Avengers with robots?" one of the more enterprising, or possibly just less chapodiphobic, asked.

Tony grinned. "Of course not. You can't replace people with robots. No, no, just think of TOBY as a big metal dog... TOBY, stop that." In the pause to wait for a crossing light, TOBY had noticed a pink and white dyed borzoi dog patiently waiting outside a coffee shop for an owner. Apparently borzois are supernaturally calm. At least this one looked bored as TOBY gently ran a tentacle over the pink spots, as if memorizing their placement. "TOBY is totally non-violent, his only aim in life is to find people and make new friends."

"Yeah," Scott said, "Cassie, look at this! High Five, TOBY!" He held up his hand and after a moment, TOBY lifted the dog-patting tentacle and touched it to Scott's hand.

Tony grinned, seeing a moment to do good public relations on the part of robots everywhere, and picked up an 'I heart NY' sticker from a roadside vendor. "Scott, do you have a dollar on you? I want this for TOBY."

Scott started to pull out his wallet, but the vendor, a pretty young woman, said, "No, no, it's on the house. Can I take a selfie?"

"Sure," Tony said, taking off his sunglasses and putting on a press smile, only to have the woman kneel and put an arm around TOBY. She handed her phone to Tony. Bemused, Tony took the photo and handed the phone back to her. He joked, "Now I know how actors feel when they're upstaged by their kids."

By the time they got back to the Tower, TOBY had collected a dozen more stickers depicting all sorts of things including taxi cabs, the Statue of Liberty, Manhattan city outlines, a big apple, and even a single Iron Man helmet. TOBY seemed pleased with them, judging by the way he kept stopping in front of shop mirrors to examine them.

Tony's phone had started to signal him soon after he left the Tower, and he saw it was Pepper calling, but TOBY was pulling him too quickly to get it at first, and then later there were too many people around for a private conversation so he'd just answered it and said, "Hey, Pep, is it an emergency, because..." TOBY yanked on the leash and Tony nearly lost the phone, as he said, "I'm kinda in the middle of something here."

"No, it can wait. I'm still in the Tower, we'll talk when you get back."

"Hey, hi, Pepper, if you're going to shout at me, can it wait until I put TOBY in his recharge kennel? I don't want to traumatize him on his first day," Tony said as soon as he got off the elevator in the penthouse/workshop level.

Pepper crossed her arms and smiled sweetly, too sweetly. "Oh, no, TOBY should be there for this family discussion."

"Um," Scott said. "I'll... just... go back to the guest room and talk to Friday. Bye!" As he passed Tony he whispered, "Good luck, man."

Once Scott was out of earshot, Pepper shook her head. "Tony, what were you thinking, taking that out in public?"

"TOBY," Tony emphasized, "was a perfectly well behaved tracking robot. He even waited at crosswalks like a good citizen."

"I'm sure TOBY was an angel, but Tony, I thought he was only meant to work in the quantum realm?"

"I had to test him. He needs experience. Bloodhounds learn on the job. He couldn't learn enough in a controlled environment. He was a champ. He didn't set a tentacle wrong, and people love him."

Pepper nodded. "They did, indeed. There are videos of him everywhere, with different explanations of what he was doing. Do you have ANY IDEA how many calls S.I. has got asking when he'll be on the market and what the price will be, and... Tony, PEOPLE WANT THEM."

"Huh," Tony said. "I wasn't thinking of marketing him. Just... there was a need and nothing existed to fill it."

"Exactly." Pepper said. "I spoke to S.I. engineers and they pointed out still more uses for him. You might have to modify it for different environments, and I suppose you could set it to look just for people in general, but think what TOBY could do to find people trapped in collapsed buildings where a rescuer's weight would endanger them, but TOBY could spread his weight over his tentacles on even small clear spots, or in fires where rescue workers can't see them, or, or, lost children trapped in places too small for an adult to reach them, or safely shutting down nuclear reactors or underwater or..."

"Wow," Tony said. "Ok, yeah, I see your point. JARVIS has the plans and after we get back from the quantum realm, I'll look into designing a line of TOBYs." He patted TOBY on the top of his dome. "Good boy, TOBY."

"Fine," Pepper said. She went over to Tony and hugged him. "Good work, Tony. You do remember the reward for work well done?"

Tony sighed, "Oh, yeah. More work." He grinned. "As the old German proverb goes, 'Rast ich, so rost ich', 'when I rest, I rust.' "

"You'll never rust, Tony." Pepper smiled. "Come to bed. In the morning, you can play with your robo-octopuses."

"Oh, kinky, Pep."

"Good morning, Mr. Stark."

"GAAAH!" Tony pulled the sheets over himself, glad that Pepper had already left to go to work, leaving him to enjoy a rare sleep-in. "Vision! Have you ever heard of knocking?"

Vision tilted his head to one side. "I did knock. Oh. Perhaps it was not loud enough. Shall I go back and do it again?"

"No, no, that's fine, I'm good." Tony got up and headed towards the shower. "I thought you were at Haven Harbor, helping Ben and Peter learn to regulate their strength?"

"I was," Vision said, calmly following Tony into the bathroom, and starting to organize the contents of the medicine cabinet. "This is expired," he commented.

"Eh, it's probably still safe. Maybe not as effective, but good enough," Tony said as he began showering. He liked to shower before shaving. Yeah, big hero Tony Stark has sensitive skin.

"JARVIS has informed me that 'good enough' is often your attitude towards your safety." Vision began depositing bottles into the wastebasket. "JARVIS, please reorder the currently needed medicinal products I am discarding."

"Done," JARVIS said, sounding pleased.

"Ok, what's up, you two are ganging up on me. What's next? I should take a multivitamin every morning and wear sun screen?"

"Both are sensible precautions," Vision said, "however, the main reason I am here is to request my addition to the quantum realm mission."

"What?" Tony stuck his head out of the shower. "Why?"

"Because JARVIS cannot go," Vision said. He peered at a toothbrush. "This also requires replacement."

"Oh. Yeah. JAY ratted me out. Sure, I'm nervous about the mission, but Vision... you don't have... the experience."

"And how will I gain it, if I do not go on missions?" Vision looked at Tony. "Did you wash behind your ears?"

Tony sighed. "Fine, you can go. IF that is IF, Hank Pym agrees. I don't know how we're going to handle this shrinking stuff with TOBY even. Maybe put him in a bag with the shrinky suit piggybacking off mine," Tony mused. Showering always gave him thoughts.

Vision looked pleased. "I will go see about your breakfast now. Mr. Lang requested a 'California Fry Up'... I will research it, perhaps it involves avocado? but I believe you would prefer blueberry waffles according to JARVIS." He left the room by phasing through the door.

Tony shook his head. "JARVIS, you've got to stop talking about me behind my back. Vision is impressionable."

"Vision has found his sense of purpose. Helping the Parkers made him realize that he found pleasure in aiding them. He decided that as you are involved with a great many projects to help humanity, he would derive the most satisfaction from aiding you in your endeavors."

"I can buy my own toothbrushes!"

JARVIS was silent a moment. "Peter Parker approved Vision's blueberry waffles."

Tony got out of the shower. "No motor oil?"

"None whatsoever," JARVIS confirmed.

"I guess I could give him a chance. Put him on the payroll as my P.A. I haven't had one in years." Tony grinned as he dried off and reached for his razor. "It would be fun to have him take notes at the next board meeting."

Chapter Text

While they were eating breakfast, with Tony trying not to watch Scott gamely attempting Vision's idea of a California fry-up. Fried avocado slices on fried sourdough bread accompanying by fried oranges, deep fried fish tacos and fried California roll sushi.

"Um, this is great, Vision, great... but... um... I didn't think sushi was supposed to be fried?" Scott said.

Vision gave him huge puppy-dog eyes, which Tony suspected he'd learned from Peter. "Oh," Vision said sadly. Then he brightened. "Perhaps it is a new invention! Could you try it to see if it is a success?"

Scott cut a little piece and put it in his mouth, wincing. His eyes opened wide. "Hey! It's great!" He gave Vision a thumbs up and kept eating.

Tony suspected all that grease would lead to a gut bomb later, but at least Scott was enjoying it. "Ok, so, we're just waiting on Dr. Pym now," he said when Scott was slowing down and possibly able to listen. Vision had sat with them to be companionable, and had a plate of blueberry waffles topped by fried oranges. That actually seemed like a good idea, Tony resolved to try it another day.

Scott sighed. "I don't know why I can't go with you into the quantum realm. Hope taught me a lot." Scott looked at Tony. "Don't make that face, you know what I mean. I can handle the ant-man suit, and I can fight!"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, but if you go, then how can Hank justify not letting Hope go?"

Scott opened his mouth, and then shut it before saying, "Why shouldn't Hope go?"

"Think about it. Hank feels guilty because his wife took the risk he didn't."

"It wasn't his fault, his suit's regulator was broken!"

"I know that," Tony said. "Hank knows that. But it doesn't change how he feels. If Hope went along he'd be so distracted watching her to make sure he didn't fail her too, he might make mistakes."

"I... yeah... I guess so." Scott sighed. "I just..."

"You just want to look good for your daughter. I get that. But think about this... being a hero doesn't just mean your loved ones are proud of you. It also means they're scared for you. That's a lot to put on a little girl. One day, Scott, you'll be needed. Everyone will be needed. Maybe it'll be something that only you can do. But now? This isn't your mission. This is Hank's and he's only letting me come along because he needs TOBY."

Vision said, "There is no one who would truly mourn me. Once perhaps... but that was an illusion. I believe Dr. Pym will allow me to accompany him."

Tony thought Vision was just a little, teeny, tiny bit depressed. While it was neither Tony's fault, nor his responsibility, Vision was more alone than anyone could be, short of being marooned on another pla... oh, there was something that might help make him feel valued and useful. "Vis, I know you can eat, and you go through the motions of breathing, but do you really have biological requirements?"

Vision tilted his head in thought. "To speak audibly, I do require atmosphere, but for my core functionality, no. I do not need anything other than a source of energy and energy..." Vision made an arm's spread gesture as he spoke, "is in abundance. Even in deep space electromagnetic energy is more than sufficient for my needs."

"Huh. You know, the thing that makes us human? We're all unique. You're just more..."

"Obvious?" Scott said around a mouthful of fried whatever.

Tony huffed. "Considering the control Vision has over his body, I'm guessing he doesn't have to be."

Vision inclined his head. "I could create a facsimile of conventional human appearance. However, the closer I attempt to emulate humanity, the higher the risk of the 'uncanny valley' effect causing negative emotional responses in observers." Vision blinked deliberately. "I am satisfied if my appearance does not arouse hostility."

"Good point," Scott said. "Right now, you look weird, but in an honest way. Like... you're not an alien trying to sneak in and take over the planet. Are you?"

Friday said, "Oh MY GOD, Scott, you can't ask someone if they're an alien trying to take over the planet!"

"Yeah, sorry," Scott said, "that is really rude."

"Also, if they WERE an alien trying to take over the planet," Friday said, "they'd probably zap you with a blaster."

Tony tried not to, but he couldn't help laughing at the look on Scott's face. Then he shook his head. "The point I was aiming for before I was diverted, Vision, was that you could be very helpful when I get EDITH up. Remote control adjustments are fiddly. You could do it EVA without a suit and... I'm assuming you don't need air to fly, either, so with some kind of heat shield you might even be able to return to Earth without needing a shuttle?"

Vision said. "I would need to test it, but I do not think I need atmosphere for 'aerial' movement. When I 'fly', I am not utilizing propulsion. I just... fly?"

Tony nodded. "Hey, it's not as if people know how our minds tell us how to walk. We just... do."

"Perhaps I should learn to dance?" Vision said.

Tony didn't say it, but he thought that would put Vision one up on Rogers. "That's not a bad idea. After we get back from the back of beyond, we should look into it."

Chapter Text

When Tony's phone rang, he assumed it was Dr. Pym telling him the quantum tunnel was completed, so he answered without checking. "Yallo," he said, "is it done?"

The phone showed May Parker's face. "I'm about done," she said. "Please, Mr. Stark, tell Peter that he can't be a superhero."

"What?" With a gesture, Tony tossed the phone's image to a floating holo, and expanded the visual range. Dr. Cho was in the background, looking bemused. Peter was standing on the ceiling, gesturing at Amadeus while Ben Parker was... petting a large white rat. "What?" Tony asked again.

Mr. Parker said, "Dr. Cho's tests have shown that our... changes... are permanent and not harmful to our health. Peter's asthma is gone, and we're both in top physical condition."

"That's excellent," Tony said, relieved. "But what's this about Peter being a superhero? He's a baby!"

"I am a teenager," Peter shouted.

"That's even worse," Tony said. "A baby gets in less trouble. Peter, you do NOT want to be a superhero. The pay is nonexistent, and the hours are terrible."

Peter didn't look convinced. "But, but, when you can do the things I can do, and I don't and someone DIES, it's my fault."

Ben sighed. "That's what you took from my saying 'with great power comes great responsibility'? PETER, I was talking about your responsibility to control yourself, not putting the world on your shoulders! You are a thirteen year old boy! It is our responsibility to look after you!"

"But... but... Amadeus had such COOL superhero names for us." Peter went all puppydog eyes.

"I know I'm going to regret this," Tony said, "but go ahead, Amadeus." The kid looked like he was about to burst, and Tony didn't have the heart to stop him.

"Peter wanted to be called Spider-man," Amadeus said, "But then what would Mr. Parker be, Spider-Uncle? That would be silly."

Tony nodded, trying to keep a straight face. Ben was rolling his eyes, and May looked like she was snickering.

"Peter can shoot webs! So he should be WEBSTER! And Mr. Parker can venom sting, so he can be REDBACK! That's a spider with powerful venom," Amadeus explained. "And they could have costumes! Blue with a red spider for Peter and red with a blue spider for Mr. Parker!"

Tony blinked. "I have to admit, I've heard worse hero names." Tony shook his head. "But Peter, you HAVE a job, it's going to school and learning how to control your new abilities. That's actually two jobs. That's more than enough. Your uncle is working security, and also figuring himself out, AND trying to help you. Maybe in a few years, like when you're eighteen..."

"That's FOREVER," Peter groaned.

"Sorry, that's the rules. You can practice at Haven Harbor, and IF your aunt and uncle agree, I'll make uniforms for both of you so if an EMERGENCY happens, you'll be a little safer." Tony felt he had to concede that point because he suspected Peter was going to sneak out and be a vigilante anyway.

Ben nodded. "That sounds good. Peter, things could go wrong, even with the best intentions. Let's take this slow, all right."

Peter sighed. "All right. I've got to work on my webs, anyway." Then he brightened. "Tell Mr. Stark about your venom! It's so cool!"

Ben chuckled. "It's not as bad as I feared, Mr. Stark. I seem to have an instinctive control over the amount injected, according to the... well... danger I sense. It's odd, but both Peter and I seem to be able to tell when there's trouble."

"Spider sense!" Amadeus chirped. "It's not physical, mom doesn't think. But just watch this!" Without warning, Amadeus grabbed a stick from the table in front of him and swung it at Peter, who leaped out of the way just in time.

May said, "Yes, but do NOT test it with anything dangerous! Honestly, asking Ben to try to SHOOT you!"

Ben huffed. "Never going to happen, kid."

Dr. Cho said, "I think we all need to slow down and be sensible. And that includes you, Amadeus. I know this is exciting, but Peter doesn't need encouragement. Among other things, his metabolism has increased and along with that, a need for activity. But the activity doesn't have to be DODGING BULLETS."

"Sorry, mother," Amadeus said. Under his breath he added, "but it would be so cool."

"Um," Scott said. He and Vision had been watching the phone call all along. "Can we go back a minute... venom, webs, spiders?"

"Oh," Peter said, "Uncle Ben and I got bit by mutated spiders." Then he stopped as if that explained everything.

"Oh. Ok... but... venom?" Scott looked freaked out. "Your uncle bites people, like... a ... spider vampire?"

Ben laughed. "No, it's in my hands." He raised the hand not petting the rat and flexed his fingers, bending them one by one to reveal what looked like hollow claws extending under his fingernails. "A small dose tranquilizes. If I up the dosage it would be a muscle relaxant, then a paralytic, a sedative and finally..." He closed his hand. "Well, the heart is a muscle? I could kill." Ben looked solemn. "I won't. There may have been a purpose for what happened to me and Peter, but I don't believe it was to kill people." He shook his head.

"Ok, that's good," Scott said. He smiled. "Hey, I'm Ant-man. Webster and Redback sound like pretty good names to me. You know... when... if... well... sometimes heroes just gotta hero, you know?"

Vision cleared his throat. "Yes, I'm sure we do know, Mr. Lang." He smiled at the Parkers. "I hope you continue with your training in my absence, Peter. Have you considered making your webs into nets?"

Peter's eyes widened. "I could catch crooks! Just like FLIES!"

May shook her head. "Or mosquitoes. They do bite me something fierce out here."

"Yes, Aunt May!" Peter said. "Skeeter catcher, will do!" He jumped down to a far corner of the lab and began shooting webs from each hand to intersect. It was a mess. Amadeus went over to him and was talking, gesturing with his hands.

May sighed. "Thank you, Mr. Stark. Peter just... wasn't listening."

Tony nodded. "Yeah, it's all very new and exciting. He's lucky to have you and Ben to keep his feet on the..." Peter leaped up and stuck to the ceiling. "Well, ok, so not always on the ground, but you keep him grounded."

May laughed. "We try. Oh, Vision did say you were going on a mission. We wanted to wish you luck."

"Thanks. Yeah, we'll be unavailable for a while. Don't know how long. But if you need anything, you can call Pepper or Happy."

"We will, thank you," Ben said while putting his arm over May's shoulder. "May, let the man go, he's busy."

"Goodbye, Mr. Stark." The call ended.

"Spiders?" Scott said. He shook his head. "Could be worse. What if they were TICKS!"

Chapter Text

Tony spent the next few hours working on TOBY variant designs. Everyone had suggestions, even Scott. Pepper breezed in to comment that they should not be sold, but only leased. That way Tony would retain control over them and could prevent misuse. Tony added that to the notes. TOBY was already showing more personality than expected. Tony had not taken into account the extra reasoning power and curiosity he'd added to help TOBY adapt to conditions he couldn't foresee. That could be useful in other ways- the TOBYs should be able to request removal from service if they noticed their assigned tasks edging towards not permitted actions. Vision, JARVIS and FRIDAY could each be a contact for TOBYs to clarify any uncertainty.

Complicated, yes, but Tony agreed with Pepper. TOBYs aren't weapons, but evil can be very creative, and innocent young bots could be misled.

Or misused in ways that weren't illegal but simply were a waste. TOBY was meant to save lives, not amuse, or be a toy. The ethical and moral reasons flew right over the head of S.I.'s publicist, so Tony descended to his level after the third absurd request for TOBY. "I don't care how cool Boston Dynamics' dancing Atlas robots were, TOBY is not going to be a contestant on 'So You Think You Can Dance'. No, not even if that would convince Fox to resume filming." Since a 'no' wasn't enough Tony added, "Why? It's obvious, isn't it? They don't make tap shoes to fit his tentacles. TOBY would LOVE to demonstrate his tango, but DUM-E is too shy to perform in public, and TOBY refuses to dance with anyone else." Tony grinned at the sputtering noises the publicist made. "Look, I'm busy right now, but when I have more time, maybe we can film him rescuing a duckling from a drain or something, Ok? Bye now."

Tony ended the call, and looked at Scott, who was twirling a foot off the ground, held in Vision's arms. "I'm annoyed that they didn't ask Vision to dance."

Scott said, "Yeah, he's really light on his feet. But you're leading again, Vis."

All told, it was a relief when Dr. Pym called. "Mr. Stark, the Quantum Tunnel is up and I'm fairly sure it's functioning as expected."

"You aren't exactly filling me with confidence here," Tony said. "What does 'fairly sure' mean?"

"Well, the first rat I sent through on a tether came back pregnant, but then, you know, it was a rat. She could have been pregnant and I just didn't notice. I sent a couple male rats through, and they..."

"Came back pregnant?" Scott asked. "Because you know, Mr. Stark is a little old to be having his first..."

Dr. Pym coughed. "No, the male rats did not come back pregnant or changed in any way."

Tony gave Scott a LOOK before turning his attention to Dr. Pym. "We'll be taking my jet and can be there in a few hours. TOBY's been tested, and has Mrs. Pym's DNA."

"Janet kept her name. She's Janet Van Dyne," Dr. Pym said.

Tony nodded. "TOBY has assimilated her DNA. We hid the hat and hairbrush in different locations around the Tower and he prioritized the hat, which held stronger traces and then 'asked' if he was to continue after that, so even if Janet has touched different objects, TOBY can judge which is the 'strongest' and head for her."

"I hope so."

"Don't be so gloomy, Hank! I'm bringing Vision and TOBY," Tony said. "Oh, wait, I didn't ask. Do you want a synthezoid, who can control his body's size without infringing on your intellectual property, and who also possesses unimaginable powers which could come in handy if the Quantum Realm has hostiles... well, it's your decision, if you want to include him in the rescue party."

Hank stared at Tony for a long moment. Then he said, "FINE. Bring your tinkertoys. I don't care, just so we can get Janet back."

Everyone had lunch before they left for the airport, including Pepper and Happy who had last minute contingency plans for S.I. Not so much plans, as Tony putting his signature on various papers they all hoped not to need. Pepper brought a pomegranate and insisted on sharing the seeds only with Tony, which was a little weird, but hey, if it made Pepper happy. It's not as if he didn't like the taste of pomegranate.

Tony had given orders for the jet to be prepared, and flight plans laid, so once they arrived there was no delay. Vision and TOBY wandered around the cabin after take off (TOBY had been secured by tie downs), examining everything.

"I thought you'd be used to flying," Scott said to Vision.

"It is different somehow," Vision said, "being inside something which is performing the action."

"Oh, ok," Scott said, "Like swimming versus riding in a boat." Scott turned to Tony who was looking at still more quantum realm hypothesis- most of them didn't have enough evidence to qualify as theories. "It was a little like swimming in the quantum realm. Or maybe flying? It wasn't like free fall, like a roller coaster. My stomach always took a while to come back after that, but it was more like... air was more or less than... oh, yeah... you can't wear Iron Man in the quantum realm. Because of the air."

Tony blinked, coming up from thinking about abstracts to hearing Scott. "Well, shit, no, of course not," he suddenly realized. "Iron Man carries a limited life support system. Even if the air supply shrinks to still be usable, it'll run out after a while."

Scott nodded. "I didn't realize it at the time, but the Ant-Man suit constantly drew in air and made it match me. And since I didn't pass out, it must have found air in the quantum realm, even if it had to... like... suck it in and condense it?"

Tony didn't like the idea of going in without Iron Man, but he'd make do. "So, I guess I'll be wearing your suit." He made a face.

"It's clean!" Scott said. "I didn't... you know...ok, so maybe I sweated a little in it, but Hank had a thingie he hooked it up to that cleans it inside and out."

"I wasn't thinking about that." Tony eyed Scott. "How tall are you?"

"Five Ten," Scott answered immediately. Then he looked at Tony, and his gaze went down to Tony's shoes with the lifts."Oh. Yeah...um... so... hey, it'll be a little roomy! What's a few inches? Oh, hey, I didn't mean that, like, you know, INCHES..."

Vision looked at Scott. "What else could you mean by 'inches'?" he asked.

Scott looked at Tony in appeal. Tony shrugged. "You said it, you explain it." Tony settled down to listen to Scott attempt to explain innuendo and possibly dick measuring to someone with immense knowledge of the most esoteric scientific theories and absolutely no clue about dirty jokes.

When they arrived, Hank unveiled the Quantum Van.

"A 1972 Ford Econoline?" Tony said in disbelief.

"Luis volunteered it," Scott said happily.

"I'm sorry if you were expecting a DeLorean," Hank said. "It has the right shape configuration, and it's inconspicious, so we can drive it to a remote location." He frowned. "I'd have preferred going back to where I last saw Janet, but even closed, a secret Soviet missile base doesn't welcome visitors. We'll have to work out travel arrangements once we enter."

"And if you can't?" Hope said. She'd been watching with a frown of disapproval. "Do you have any sort of plan other than 'Winging it"?"

"Funny you should say that," Hank said. He picked up a box from inside the van and opened it. Half a dozen large winged ants, each wearing what looked like a white body suit with tiny boxes presumably powering their ant-suits, waved their antennae at Hank. "We just change the ratio of shrinkage so they wind up the size of horses in comparison to us, and we can ride in style."

"I don't even like horses," Tony muttered.

Chapter Text

"So, these are utility belts, like Batman?" Scott said as Hank gave a bulky belt loaded with electronics to Vision and another to Tony to put on TOBY.

Hank shook his head. "They're secondary units linked to the controls on my suit. They're just repeaters." Hank waved at Vision. "I know you say you can shrink, but I don't think this is a good time to find out if that means you can get down to the quantum realm and then back again."

Vision put on his belt and inclined his head. "That may be prudent. It is true, I did not conduct any experiments to that degree of reduction. Theoretically I should have the ability, but actual proof is to be preferred. Thank you, Dr. Pym."

"Yeah, whatever," Hank said. He looked at TOBY. "And you're sure this octopus can track Janet?" he asked Tony.

"Track, no. Tracking would be following a trail, like a hunter following a deer's tracks," Tony explained, showing off some of his recent research. "Bloodhounds 'trail' and they follow the scent from start to finish. TOBY's search is much better than either. He analyzes trace DNA, and seeks the strongest source. He'll go as direct to the person he's tracing as he can, without detours to sniff at every lamppost."

"Let's hope it works like that," Hank said. He turned at last to Hope, who'd been silently watching. She'd insisted on driving the van to the chosen departure point. "Hope... I'm sorry for everything. I know I should have told you."

Hope took a deep breath. "Yes, you should. Make it up to me by coming back. Even if you can't find mom. I don't want to lose you, too. I wish I could come with you."

"I was... I was going to make a vehicle and maybe then you could have come with me. Maybe. I thought of it when Scott came back, but then...Stark said he could find her faster, and I just... what if it's too late? What if it's already too late? I've got to go now."

Hope blinked back tears and nodded. "I know. I know. Just... come back, Dad."

"If I can, I will." Hank finally turned to Scott. "Scott..."

"I know, you want me to look after Hope," Scott said.

"Hell, no. I want you to check to see if I left the coffee-maker on, back at the house." Hank grinned. "I don't need to tell you anything about Hope. She'll take care of herself just fine, she's like her mom."

Tony kept a firm grip on TOBY's leash before they entered the active reduction field in the van. "Whatever you do," Hank told Tony, "don't take off your helmet. That's what protects your brain from the effects of the Pym Particles."

"Right, yeah, got it." Tony was really not thrilled about the possibility of going insane, like Cross had done. He wished the helmet had a JARVIS, though.

"Your suit has full controls. I have it synced with mine, but if anything happens to my suit, you can take over for all of us."

Tony nodded. "It feels weird, after Iron Man. It's so light, I feel naked."

Hank said, "That might come in handy if we need to run. The ants aren't armored, so we might lose them. That's why I've brought extras." He opened a pouch and took out a doll-size suit that he expanded to human size. "And this is Janet's spare suit. I kept it maintained, all these years. Even if Jan still has her suit the supply of Pym Particles must be exhausted." He examined it and then shrank it back down to put in the pouch. "The Wasp can fly, and has 'stingers' in the gauntlet."

"If you could make a suit capable of flight and shooting blasters, why are we stuck with the unarmed, grounded, model?" Tony asked.

"It... it's stupid, but the Wasp suit... it's just too girly," Hank said.

Hope rolled her eyes. "When you get mom back, I want you to tell her that in front of me. I'd love to see her reaction."

Hank winced. "Yeah, right. You're at the controls, Hope. I trust you to keep everything stable here."

"You know I will." Hope gave Hank a hug. Scott waved awkwardly.

And then they all walked into the Quantum Realm.

Which was so seriously weird Tony wondered if abstract artists ever mentally visited the place.

"Huh," Tony said, looking around at all the colored blobs as he floated, subtly shifting position. "So, this is what the inside of a lava lamp is like."

"Keep alert," Hank said. He opened the ant box and set the ants to enlarging. As they grew the ants waved their antennae around rapidly and turned from side to side. "Stand still and let the ants touch you. They need to learn that you're part of their nest."

Each of the ants ran their antennae briefly over Tony, Vision, Hank and TOBY.

TOBY raised his two front tentacles and imitated the ants, touching them in return.

"What is it doing?" Hank asked irritably.

"Trying to make friends," Tony said. Whatever TOBY did, it worked. The largest ant even obligingly lowered its body to allow TOBY to more easily climb on.

Once everyone was settled astride an ant, carefully avoiding the wings, and as accustomed to the weirdness as possible, Hank told the ants to fly.

Vision looked around with interest. "I wonder how many ways there are to fly." He patted his ant on its thorax. "You are very good at this, Ms. Camponotus." His ant wriggled her antenna and kept flying after Hank's ant.

"Ok, we're here, now fire up your miracle tracking robot," Hank said. "If it's through making friends, that is."

"You're just jealous because TOBY is so awesome that everyone loves him, and people squish your ants," Tony said. "TOBY, FIND JANET."

TOBY released his front two tentacles from their grasp on his ant, then the next two, and two more, until he was only holding on by the last pair. He stretched all his tentacles out stiffly and stopped moving.

Everyone waited while their ants flew on steadily, avoiding glowing clumps of dubious matter. After five minutes or so, Hank was glaring at Tony. Tony held up his hand. "Give him a minute. This isn't like looking for the TV remote in your couch cushions."

TOBY let out a soft elephant grumble, not quite a trumpet. Most of his tentacles returned to wrapping around his ant-steed, but his foremost left tentacle stayed stiffly erect, aiming off to one side and down slightly.

"Good boy, TOBY," Tony said, "I knew you could do it."

"Indeed," Vision said, "I had faith in TOBY's abilities, as well. May I enquire as to the purpose of your demonstration of digital dexterity, Mr. Stark?"

Tony quickly uncrossed his fingers. "Just limbering up, in case."

"Oh." Vision crossed his fingers and inspected the result. "It does not seem to work for me."

"Keep trying," Hank said. "We can use all the luck we can get."

Chapter Text

Tony really hoped they wouldn't have to retrace their journey to get out. Not only were there no road markers, and no road, but nothing seemed stable, not even colors. Pink blobs turned orange then drifted off to a blue cloud and blended in. Either gravity still existed, or the Pym particles were convincing them to believe it did, but anything else?

The ants flew on steadily. No one said anything as they warily scanned the -for lack of a better word- sky- for threats. Tony fell to musing on quantum ideas about consciousness. Does wave function collapse due to interaction with consciousness? Does the coherence of experiences demonstrate a manifestation of the implicate order?

Do cheeseburger trees grow in the quantum realm? No, really, he's getting a little hungry, which at least means they are experiencing time flow. Also, Tony hopes that there is something to eat and drink here, otherwise TOBY is tracking a thirty year old corpse, and as they are smaller than microbes, Janet wouldn't even be a clean skeleton, but instead ... whatever a person who dies of thirst and terror looks like. Hank isn't the nicest guy in the world, but Tony wouldn't wish that sight on any husband.

Maybe Tony should go first once TOBY finds her. He could at least close her eyes... bad thoughts. Think positive. Janet is fine. She's a little lost, but they'll find her in... that... floating city? "What is that?" he said, looking at a distant shape that wasn't blobby, but instead had angles and a definite up/down orientation. It was also rainbow colored, and now Tony was thinking of the Wizard of Oz movie with the rainbow colored horses, which his mother had told him were coated in jello powder because the ASPCA refused to let them be dyed. That had led to an interesting conversation, followed by an unpleasant trip to the hospital, when Tony discovered his father's hair dye and asked what flavor it was, because it had tasted terrible, not like chocolate or licorice at all.

Vision said, "Perhaps it is an anomaly of bismuth crystalline formation? Although... on a subatomic level..." Vision sounded confused. "I do not know what it is."

"Whatever it is," Hank said, "That's where we're going."

TOBY's pointing tentacle was aimed directly at the 'city' and he was making soft elephant grumble noises, and patting at his ant as if to ask her to go faster.

The closer they got, the more it looked like a city. Tony began to wonder if this was actually a sub-atomic realm or if it was an alternate dimension reached by shrinking far enough to squeeze through a nexus into another dimension. At any rate, TOBY was convinced Janet was here, so theoretical conversations with Hank would have to wait.

"KANG SEES ALL AND KNOWS ALL!" came a shrill screaming voice from the city. The voice grew louder until they could see a floating armored... person? Maybe a person. It seemed to have arms and legs, sticking out at the corners of the helmet that made up nearly all of it.

"YOU SEEK TO DESTROY KANG'S PAST!"

"We don't even know who KANG is!" Hank shouted back. "Or who you are!"

"I AM M.O.D.O.K.! I am the modified organism designed only for killing!" It was getting closer and the glowing bits on the armor seemed ominous.

"Nice acronym skills," Tony said. "Modified from what?" It, well, it sounded male, call it he, looked like Iron Man's helmet had a baby with a Roomba. Not really scary, more sad. More pathetic.

"LANG DESTROYED ME. KANG SAVED ME!"

"Huh," Hank said. He looked sick. "Darren? Is that you?"

"THERE IS NO DARREN!" The entire front of ... the body? the face? of the armor vanished, revealing a human face. Just a head and twiggy arms and legs, no evidence of a torso at all. "THERE IS ONLY MODOK! I KILL FOR KANG! I HAVE KILLED ENTIRE WORLDS! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!" Various ugly and efficient looking devices sprouted from the misshapen form as he floated even closer.

This would be a really good time to have Iron Man, Tony thought. Really, an excellent time.

Vision said, "You were once a man. Surely some memory of that remains?"

Tony wanted to shout, BLAST MODOK, but hey, maybe Vision could get through to him without violence.

"I REMEMBER PAIN!" MODOK fired a small blast, more of a petulant twitch than a full assault. It struck TOBY's ant, sheering off the right wing.

TOBY wailed, an unhappy baby elephant cry. His ant started to fall. Vision sent out a beam that stabilized the ant floating at the same level as the rest of them. TOBY kept wailing and patting at the ant's side where the wing had been.

Vision frowned at MODOK. "We have done nothing to you. Certainly that ant had done you no harm."

"I AM MODOK. I am the modified organism designed only for killing," MODOK said, a little softer. "I KILL."

"But do you wish to kill?" Vision asked. He floated closer to MODOK.

"It's not you, Darren," Hank said. "The Yellowjacket suit... it was defective..."

"I MADE IT!" MODOK shouted. "It was PERFECT!" He shot a blast at Hank, but Vision intercepted it.

Tony said, "Hank, you're not helping. MODOK is just doing what he was created to do. He has no choice. No will of his own. He's not a person any more, just a machine."

MODOK shot at Tony, but again Vision intercepted it. "Please," MODOK said. "Please. I am... I am very tired."

"Yes," Vision said, looking at him with sympathy.

"I want to sleep," MODOK said. "I haven't slept in years. I want to go to sleep, and never wake up."

"Yes," Vision said softly. "If that is what you wish, I can help you."

"I don't want to dream," MODOK said. "There is so much pain. There is always pain."

"There will be no dreams. No pain," Vision said. He put his hands to either side of MODOK's head. Vision's mind stone glowed. "Peace, MODOK. You will have peace."

MODOK smiled, and closed his eyes. "I... I'm... sorry... about the ant." His arms and legs went limp. He glowed brightly, and then vanished.

"I'm sorry, Darren. I should have taught you better." Hank said, and then he looked at Tony. "I chose Scott to wear the Ant-Man suit because I thought I could control him, after... after I couldn't stop Darren. He even turned Hope against me."

Tony decided not to mention the part Hank's parenting had to do with Hope's feelings about him. "Can we get on with finding Janet before this Kang notices MODOK is gone and sends someone else?"

"Yeah, yeah. But," Hank said as he looked at TOBY. "Your bot isn't working."

TOBY was still clinging to his ant, petting her and making soft noises. "Hey, have a heart," Tony said. "His friend is hurt."

"Put it on one of the spare ants, and leave the ant," Hank said.

Vision frowned at Hank. "Why not simply reduce her size? TOBY could carry her as he rode on another ant."

"Oh, all right," Hank grouched as Tony urged TOBY to move to a different ant.

"It'll be all right, TOBY," Tony told him. "I'll make lefty a new wing, she'll be good as new."

"It's an ant, for crying out loud," Hank muttered, but he was very gentle as he reset the controls on the ant's belt. "There you go, number 307." He said as he carefully picked up the ant, now proportionally normal ant-size and placed it on TOBY's tentacle.

"Ok, name change," Tony said, "307 is a lucky prime, so TOBY, your friend's new name is 'Lucky'."

TOBY wriggled a tentacle carefully around the ant to make a protective nest for her.

"TOBY, FIND JANET," Tony said.

TOBY shook out his seeking tentacle and stretched it. This time it pointed down below the city and slightly off to one side.

"I was afraid of that," Tony said.

The ants began flying toward the city. Their antennae were moving more rapidly than normal. Tony wondered if Lucky had been able to warn them chemically of the danger, but they were going on regardless. Tony firmed up his resolution to make Lucky a new wing in recognition of their bravery. He could make a metallic film from a few drops of the shield sample, match it to Lucky's remaining wing in reverse, and she could be friends with Scott's Antonia.

Yes, Tony was avoiding thinking about what might lie in wait in the city, whether enemy attack or tragedy. He wasn't going anywhere in the future without the Suit. Definitely time to investigate combining Pym Particles with nano-bots, put them into a housing he could carry, heck, a thin design on a t-shirt. It would be funny to wear a shirt with the Iron Man helmet on it, and then open that to form the full suit.

"Here we go," Hank said as wide doors opened, and a small group of armored humanoids- from the shape of them fairly close to human despite variations in height and width- emerged. The group spread out to reveal a white-haired, foppily dressed, and really going to seed, man.

"I am LORD KRYLAR, governor of Axia! Begone, lest I smite you with my wrath."

Tony was totally unimpressed. TOBY wriggled his pointing tentacle. Vision gazed calmly.

Hank said, "We're just here to find my wife, Lord Krylar. This bot..." he gestured at TOBY, " says she's here."

"Huh," Lord Krylar said. "So... you just want the woman, and then you'll leave without disintegrating anyone else? I mean, not that disintegrating MODOK was a bad thing, good on you for taking him out." He made a vague general wave. "What's your wife's name? I wouldn't want to stand in the way of true love. I'm all for that. I have a heart of gold, ask anyone."

Tony was even less impressed by Lord Krylar who he was now mentally renaming 'Lord Chickenshit'.

"Janet. Her name is Janet Van Dyne," Hank said.

Lord Krylar's eyebrows raised. "Oh, excellent. Yes, I know her. Lovely lady. Pined for you something fierce." Lord Krylar puffed up and smirked. "For a while."

Hank's expression went dark.

Lord Krylar seemed to realize his mistake. "Oh, that. That was a long time ago. We're just good friends now. Really good friends. She'd be terribly upset if anything happened to me." He edged back into the midst of the armored people and raised his voice. "JANET! I know you're watching! You are always such a sneaky minx... JANET!"

Another person came from behind the troops, dressed entirely in off-white robes, like something out of Star Wars or possibly Dune. They pushed back the hood, and took off a mask. And she smiled. "Hank," she said.

TOBY trumpeted in triumph.

Hank was off his ant and holding the woman in his arms in a moment. "Janet," he whispered.

"True love, isn't it beautiful," Lord Krylar said. "Now, shoo."

Chapter Text

"Not to be a wet blanket," Tony said, "but I agree with Lord, we should be going." Vision was great, but he took his time deciding to act. Tony would rather avoid the necessity of being Avenged.

"Yes, yes," Janet said, pulling away from Hank. "What was the plan? Tell me you had a plan, Hank."

"Of course I did." Hank gave Lord Krylar a suspicious look. "We'll talk about it. Not here."

Janet got on the last ant, while Hank resumed his place on his ant. The ants turned around and flew back in the direction they'd come.

Having read up a little on ants, Tony hoped it meant they had laid a chemical trail and were retracing their steps. Not that it should matter much, after all, Janet had disappeared in Russia and they started out in California, but at least they hadn't encountered any Quantum predators along the way. Tony tried not to think what a water bear would be like, if any of them were around. They should be currently be infinitesimally smaller than tardigrades, but nothing about the Quantum Realm was as described on the box.

"About Lord Whats his name," Hank said. "Janet, you could have done so much better."

Janet smiled at Hank. "He was less annoying when I met him." Her face darkened. "And I needed help to stay alive, until you could find me. I always knew you would. I looked ahead, you see."

"Looked ahead?" Vision asked. He had no shame in eavesdropping. It wasn't as if there were any way of not listening, as closely as the ants flew together.

"Oh, yes," Janet looked at Vision. "Who are you?" she asked, but Tony had the impression she meant 'what are you'.

"My name is Vision Edwin. I am Tony Stark's grandson," Vision said in a satisfied tone of voice.

"I'm Tony Stark," Tony said, "It's complicated, but yeah, ok, Vis's my kid."

Janet nodded with the air of one who'd seen weirder things than a synthezoid claiming a human grandfather. "To answer your question, the quantum realm changed me. I didn't just adapt. I evolved."

Hank looked concerned but didn't comment.

"I can do things..." Janet turned her hands up in a gesture that seemed to say it was even more complicated than Tony's relationship to Vision. "Among others, I can sense the time fields in here, and use them. I went forward and found a time when I wasn't in the realm, and experimented until I narrowed it down far enough to find someone who remembered me leaving with you."

"Wait, what?" Tony said, suddenly excited. "You could choose a time and visit it?"

Janet tilted her head. "Not precisely. It's like judging distance. You can see something is farther or closer away, but putting exact numbers on is hard. I could visit a time, and then mark it later to return if I really needed to be more precise."

"Could you... could you mark a time in the far past, so you could find it again? Really far. Not dinosaur far, but say, oh...fifty thousand years ago."

"Probably, but why?" Janet asked.

"Hey," Hank said, "we're getting the hell out of here, Stark, not doing whatever experiments you have in mind. Janet, we're far enough away, here's your spare suit." He took out the pouch from his belt and expanded the suit to fit her. "The quantum tunnel will activate and pull us back once I signal it." Hank patted at the belt of his suit. "Quantum entangled. It doesn't matter where I am once I turn it on, the matching unit at the van will also turn on. You just need to put your suit on."

"Wait, Hank!" Tony said. "This is important. Loki's invasion wasn't the end of it, you know that."

"So?" Hank said impatiently. "What's that got to do with Janet?"

"We need to prepare. We need TIME. If I could go back in time I could build a network of defensive satellites and seed them throughout the solar system."

"Maybe," Hank said doubtfully. "But do we really want to risk it? Is time a fixed sequence of major events? Could we create a paradox? Or split off a new time line?"

Janet took the wasp suit, and casually stripped before starting to put it on. "I say we chance it," she said cheerfully.

"Janet," Hank said with a groan. "Don't encourage Stark."

"Don't be an old fuddy-duddy, Hank. I love you. It's why whatever else I did, I kept returning to the old time-stream, so we could be together as equals." Janet wriggled as she finished doing up the fasteners on her suit. "So, Mr. Stark, why fifty thousand years ago?"

"I'd like to avoid messing with human history, but I also need a place geologically suited to build a launch site. I'm thinking Australia. Fifty thousand years ago at Woomera. It's a restricted area today, but they did enough launches and messing about with nuclear missiles that any evidence I leave behind would be lost in the rest," Tony spoke rapidly. "I can combine Hank's Pym Particles with my nano research and the synthetic vibranium I'm working on... I can make EDITH, but I can't make and set in place enough EDITHs to protect the Earth. Not in the time we have left. I'm guessing five or ten years at most. And whatever's coming for us. It will be big, and ugly, and entirely out of our weight class."

Janet looked at Hank. "What is this 'Loki's invasion' and why would we need EDITHs-- whatever an EDITH is?"

"It wasn't a big deal," Hank said. "Half a dozen people in spandex," at Tony's protesting noise, Hank added, "and Stark in a suit of flying armor, took care of it. A bunch of aliens wormholed into New York City and did some property damage. I don't know what the hell an EDITH is. Stark's in love with the sound of his own voice, don't listen to him."

Tony said, "Earth Defense Interstellar Targeting Hardware. I went through the wormhole. Janet, I saw an armada. I don't know how far away they are, or how fast they're moving, but they're headed for Earth. Loki led a small group, as... I don't know... a scouting party? Or there was something they wanted to get before the real boss showed up? I just know that wasn't the end of it. Please. Janet, if I had the time, I could do something. I'd been trying to keep the Avengers together, but that was just desperation. Like Hank said, 'half a dozen people in spandex.' "

Janet looked thoughtful, then she nodded. "I'm not up on time theory, but if you go back without interfering with human history then I guess it should be safe enough. And it's not as if we haven't taken risks before, Hank!" She laughed.

Hank sighed. "Fine. Let it be on your head, Stark. But Janet's just going to locate the time zones, right?"

Tony nodded. "If you'll make another quantum tunnel for me, I can just scent mark the spot, and then TOBY can find it again. I won't need anything else from you. Vision will go with me, won't you?"

"Of course," Vision said. "I live on Earth, too. I wish to preserve it."

Hank scowled. "You just want to steal my invention! I knew it!"

"No! I do not WANT to STEAL YOUR SHIT, HANK!" Tony shouted. The ants wriggled, apparently not liking the hostile vibrations. "I'll sign any NDA you want, with any penalty you ask for breaking it included in the contract."

Vision said softly, "My grandfather is an honorable man, Dr. Pym."

Janet said briskly, "I'm going over there." She pointed towards a particularly glowing orange patch of floating trapezoids. "Mr. Stark can leave whatever he needs to find the spot again. When we get HOME, we can decide whether to go ahead with Mr. Stark's plan, or not. It sounds like it needs a lot of work."

Tony nodded. "Lead the way."

Grumbling, Hank followed them along with the rest of the ants. "This is the place," Janet said.

Tony opened his suit far enough to take out the handkerchief from his shirt pocket, still stained with pomegranate juice. He knotted it up and tossed it on top of a large trapezoid. "Got it."

"Fine, can we go now?" Hank said. His limited patience was at an end. "Hope is waiting for us, you know!"

"HOPE. Oh, god, yes." Janet's face lit up. "I want to see my little girl and hold her in my arms again!"

Hank hit the switch, and the quantum tunnel pulled them in.

Chapter Text

"Wait! The ants!" Vision said urgently.

"Oh, SHIT." Hank rapidly worked the controls on his suit, shrinking all of the ants except Lucky down proportionally to about the size of beagles. "Thanks," he said reluctantly, as they exited the van. "That could have been... awkward."

"Awkward?" Tony visualized five horse size ants, three people, one synthezoid, and an octobot inside a 1972 hippie van. "We could have have been TOOTHPASTE!"

"Eh, didn't happen," Hank said, brushing off the almost disaster.

Tony really wondered about Hank's mad scientist brain sometimes. Janet just rolled with it, but then, she'd been living in the quantum realm for thirty years, it must take a lot to unsettle her.

"MOM!" Hope screamed and threw herself at Janet.

"OH, MY GOD, how you've grown!" Janet cried and hugged Hope, while Hank stood nearby, starting to reach out, and then pulling his hands back to just watch them, wistfully. Scott looked even more uncomfortable. Maybe he had just realized that convincing Hope's mother that an ex-con was good enough for her daughter was much harder than convincing Hope's dad who had hired him to be a crook.

Out of common decency everyone else moved aside to give the family time to reconnect. TOBY pulled at Tony's shirt. "What? Oh, yeah. We'll fix up Lucky, don't worry." Tony scrounged in his pockets for a snack and came up with a packet of dried blueberries. He gave one to TOBY for Lucky and dumped the rest on the ground for the other five ants. They'd done a lot of flying and must be hungry.

Tony wasn't really paying much attention to anything, because his mind was taken up with the possibilities, and dangers, of time travel. First thing he had to do would be to check that he had done it, because if he hadn't that meant he'd tried and it hadn't worked out, so he shouldn't waste time trying it, but if he didn't try it... ok, this... was going to be very confusing. Tony decided to stick with the fixed timeline theory until proven otherwise. He really hoped he didn't get into paradoxes or split off into alternate timelines. MAYBE the quantum realm was actually the garbage pit of alternate timelines caused by people stupidly messing about with their own history.

No, Tony would be careful. He'd set up EDITH manufacturing and launching in the past, and be damn sure all the EDITHs were programmed against interfering with known human history up until they reached the present time. He'd have to set them up to be self-maintaining, and self-repairing and... ok, they should each have a Pym particle supply of nano-bots and if possible the ability to mine for materials in the asteroid field.

"Mr. Stark? Sir? Grandfather?" Vision's voice finally cut through Tony's musings. Vision had already removed his time-belt and handed it to Scott when Tony finally focussed on him.

"Yeah? What, Vis?"

"I have just received a communication from JARVIS. Apparently the time-suits interfere with his communication."

Tony tensed. "What happened?" He left the Tower and Pepper unguarded. It was only a few hours...maybe... Tony wasn't quite sure they hadn't slipped into a different time zone on the way. But Hope and Scott looked the same, same clothes...

"JARVIS says he merely wished to alert you that Rogers and Wan... Maximoff..appear to have emerged from obscurity."

"What have they done now?" Tony took off the helmet and began peeling out of the time-suit. Scott hovered nearby and helpfully accepted it as Tony got it off.

"There is no definite proof of identity," Vision said cautiously. "But I calculated the percentage as approximately 95.7% that they are the ones depicted in this video taken at the scene of a flood in rural Ruritania." Vision's mind-stone lit up and a hologram formed in mid-air, showing a powerfully built man, entirely dressed in black, swimming through a flood, pushing a floating shield before him. Two babies and a kitten rested on the shield. A woman dressed in multicolored, multilayered gauzy dresses floated in the air. Her hands moved and the approaching water stopped and piled up as if held behind a glass wall while people scrambled towards high ground.

"Huh," Tony said. The family reunion had stopped, as everyone, except the ants who were occupied by eating and TOBY who was petting Lucky, stared at the image. "Did Maximoff use her mind-powers?"

Vision tilted his head. "I find no evidence of it. She seems to be limiting herself to her physical abilities. That is, if this is her. They have introduced themselves as 'Nomad' and 'Romani'."

"Oh, that's them, all right," Tony said. "I guess Fury got to them and warned them she was digging a hole for herself by fucking with people's brains. Ok, fine, if they're sticking to good deeds, that's great." Tony was far too busy to worry about what mayhem the two loose cannons could get up to. If they concentrated on natural disasters that would cut down on the problems. Sure, they'd still be entering countries illegally, but without a flag on Cap's ass, it wouldn't be an international incident and who was going to bitch about saving babies and kittens?

"I wonder what's up with the others? JARVIS," Tony said now that he had removed the suit and his phone worked. "Have you got any information on Clint, Nat and... what's his name, Exo-Wing guy?"

JARVIS's voice came from the phone. "Within three weeks of the events in Romania, seven museums and two private collectors announced the acquisition of high-quality pallasite meteorites containing olivine crystals, all unfortunately without specified origin or provenance. The presumption is that these were the stones Vision found in Bir Tawil, but I could not make a firm identification, so I judged it not worth being brought to your attention. The helicarrier is no longer in Bir Tawil, but due to the stealth technology, and my preoccupation with more pressing matters, I do not know the present whereabouts. Of the aforementioned individuals the only one I have been able to locate is Sam Wilson, who is currently performing community service in Washington D.C. apparently as the result of an agreement brokered between the U.S. and various nations with unspecified grievances."

"Huh. Guess Sam was left holding the bag for Rogers. Lucky he got off so light. We did get the Exo-Wing back, right?"

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said. "It has since been returned to storage."

"Ok, we can write him off then. Without the gear, Wilson's not much trouble- unless he starts shooting his mouth off." Tony was only slightly surprised he hadn't had a lot of flack for the Avengers' breakup. After all, they'd been nice to have during an alien invasion, but they hadn't done much to improve their public image since, not even in the US. Tony had seen the Public Service Announcements that someone must have guilted Rogers into doing- possibly Coulson's name was used as leverage. That had resulted in some fairly embarrassing memes and permanently labeled Captain America as a dork.

Tony turned to Hank. "I'll have a van delivered. I can either reimburse you for the needed materials, or provide them directly, if you give me a list." What the hell, assume agreement. It sometimes works, and it takes the wind out of Hank's sails.

Hank scowled. "I do have other things to do. I just got Janet back. My company's still in upheaval after Cross's manipulations. And your Friday has been blocking my phone calls!"

Friday spoke up from Tony's phone, "I'm sorry, Dr. Pym, I didn't know you liked robo-callers asking to sell you generic Viagra. Shall I take them off the block list?"

Tony sighed. "Friday, you are such a troll."

"Thanks, Boss!" Friday chirped. "That means so much coming from you."

Janet giggled. Hank scowled. "No. Leave them blocked. I do NOT need Viagra."

"Good to know," Janet said. She smiled at Hank. "Help Mr. Stark, Hank. He helped you. And... if he's right... you'd be protecting our daughter."

"Oh, all right," Hank said, ungraciously. "Stark can provide the van. I'll do the rest." His expression softened. "Let's go home, Jan. I haven't changed a thing."

Janet touched Hank's face. "You old softy, you."

Chapter Text

Seeing Janet with Hank abruptly reminded Tony of Pepper. "Call Pepper," he told JARVIS, edging away from one beagle-size ant who was now brushing her antennae over his clothes, probably hunting for more food. "Sorry, lady, stripping me won't do you any good."

"WHAT?" Pepper asked. Her image formed on the hologram his phone projected. Tony was also visible to her, of course. Pepper looked very confused. "What lady?"

"Oh, hey," Tony said, "I don't own an opal mine in Australia, do I? I need one, I really do. But it's got to be in the Woomera Prohibited Area. Do me a solid, Pep. Negotiate and get me a license to build there."

"What is going on?" Pepper asked.

"Shoo," Tony told the persistent ant who was now investigating his shirt pocket. There was a crinkle. "Oh, you're right, I forgot I had some raisins, too." Tony took out the half empty packet and poured it on the ground. The other ants came over to join the first one in eating the raisins.

Pepper gave him her 'I'm out of patience look'. By now, Tony's response to that was automatic. He took a deep breath and organized his thoughts to explain. "We got Janet Van Dyne back, safe and sound." Tony would have been more careful what he said, but they'd made sure the area was free of observation back when they used the Quantum Tunnel. "Turns out, the Quantum Realm isn't just tiny. It's chronologically dimensional. Janet pointed out a patch that can take me back fifty thousand years."

Pepper was silent for a moment, and then she said, "And will you come BACK from then?"

Tony loved Pepper's way of saying he was the most important thing to her. "Yeah, yeah, I'll... be... BACK." He gave Pepper a non-Terminator smile to contrast with his vocal impression. "Hank's going to let me have a Quantum Tunnel of my very own. Just think, I can use it to NEVER be late for a board meeting again!"

Pepper shook her head. "More likely you'd use it to miss every board meeting."

Tony grinned. "Maybe. But see, this solves EVERYTHING. I can go back and set up automated fabrication of the EDITH satellite, and launch from there. Have them all set up before the big bad comes back for a second bite of the Earth apple."

Pepper said, "Them?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's the point! I won't have to be limited to one guard dog chained up at our front door. Earth gets an EDITH, Mars gets an EDITH, Jupiter and Saturn and even piddly little Pluto gets an EDITH! They'll all be hive mind interconnected, using quantum entanglement."

Pepper blinked. "You'll have to give me all the details once you're home."

Tony suddenly realized he'd been quite loud, and no one else was talking. He glanced at the Pyms. "No, I'm not making myself an interstellar tyrant. EDITH wouldn't let me, even if I wanted. Her programming is to protect the human race."

"I want to see the programming," Hank said.

"Sure," Tony agreed. Hank wouldn't know an A.I. if it bit him in the ass, but if looking at specs gave him a sense of control, it was a cheap enough bargain to get the Quantum Van. "You'll have to sign NDAs, of course."

Hank nodded. The one thing he wouldn't argue about was keeping the rights to your invention.

"Oh," Tony said, turning back to Pepper. "I saw that captain Nomad and the red Romani have come back in the spotlight. JARVIS told you, right?"

"Not just JARVIS," Pepper said. "It's all over the news. It was too good a story not to share, especially when you add in the human interest. The newborn twins the captain rescued were reunited with their family, who named them after the heroes. Romana and Damon Rassendyll. The mother said 'Nomad' seemed a bad luck name, since they'd lost their home, so she turned it around."

"And what of the kitten?" Tony said as a joke.

"Ducky." Pepper laughed. "Cute pets make good news, too."

"That reminds me, I'm taking a detour before returning to the Tower," Tony said. "TOBY's ant friend needs a new wing and the alloy samples are all in the lab at Haven Harbor."

"I'm sure that makes perfect sense to you," Pepper said. "Happy is there, with the Parkers, ready to chauffeur them back to the city so Dr. Cho can sign her lease. I'll let him know you're on the way, in case they want to talk with you first."

"Oh, yeah. I wanted to discuss the clinic with them, see how it's going through man on the street reports." Tony said, casually, not wanting to attract Hank's suspicious mind to the Parkers. Since no one had taken photos of the spiders, the attack at Haven Main Stem hadn't made the news. One advantage of setting up in an area where people were known to partake of interesting pharmaceutics along with Demon Rum-- no one wanted to tell the authorities they saw giant spiders and risk being locked up in the detox tank. Sure they talked about it among themselves, but then most people said 'at least it's not rats' and were reassured by fumigation and cleaning.

"Um, hey," Scott said, hesitantly. "I was wondering if you wanted me to come back to New York. To work with Friday, like I did before?"

Tony said, "You can do that here, with your link to Friday in Dr. Pym's house."

"Yeeah," Scott said, drawing it out. "I'm... feeling a little... in the way, if you know what I mean? It's... awkward. I never did get around to finding a place to stay, unless I wanted to bunk with Luis. I mean, Luis is a good guy, he'd have my back, so if that's a problem, I could do that, instead."

Tony thought it over and could understand. The almost-boyfriend, sort of employee, barging into an intimate family reunion? Bound to be uncomfortable for everyone involved. "Sure, no problem. We're taking the jet, there's plenty of room. Friday always enjoys working with you. She says she learns a lot." Tony wasn't entirely sure all the things she learns from Scott are entirely LEGAL, but hey, she's also learning from JARVIS, so it should even out. "And you can escort Lucky back to her nest once she's fit to fly again."

Tony's suborbital jet makes short work of the cross continental flight. Scott and Tony attempt to teach Vision poker to pass the time. It turns out Vision's got a great poker face, and TOBY... well, he's a bright bot. He figured out the rules when they were explaining it to Vision. By the third hand TOBY was sneaking behind Tony and Scott to signal Vision when to hold, and when to fold. Tony was so proud of the little sneak, especially for how long he got away with it before Scott realized the cheating was going on.

They land at Haven Harbor's private airstrip with Scott still a bit huffy that Tony sat there laughing at him and didn't tell him what TOBY was doing. "I'm just going to go to the guest room and talk with my good friend, Friday," he said as they left the jet.

"Don't teach her to play poker," Tony suggested.

Scott said, "Nah, but I do want to talk about games. I need something to play with Cassie, that's not like... 'let's pretend we're jewel thieves'. I tried that once, and Maggie ripped me a new one for 'glamorizing crime'."

Tony said hi to the Parkers and made sure that JARVIS scanned Ben and Peter for uniform fitting reasons. It wouldn't hurt to give them some protection just IN CASE. Yeah. Peter's enthusiasm meant 'in case' was actually going to be 'will happen'. Before they left for Queens, he caught up with Happy on security and the latest rumors going around HAVEN- yeah, no one was fooled by the changed color schemes of Rogers and Maximoff, but it sounded like there was general agreement that so long as they were doing good work, they'd pretend they didn't know who they were. It was professional courtesy. You might beat someone up, but revealing their secret identity was just bad manners.

After that he made a teeny tiny vibranium alloy wing for Lucky and molecularly fused it to her wing stump. TOBY took her to the kitchen to celebrate with a drop of raspberry jelly while they waited to make sure she was happy with it. The jet was being serviced, and if all went well, Scott could take Lucky back to California the next day.

A good day's work, Tony thought. He was considering taking a nap before resuming his experiments combining nano-bots made of vibranium alloy with Pym particles, when Scott bounced in happily. "Guess what we found!"

"Oh, no. I recognize that expression," Tony said. "Friday, give it to me gently."

Friday giggled. "Scott was talking about children's games, and he said that Cassie told him games she liked playing at recess in school. He said they were mostly games for groups of people and he couldn't play, 'Duck, Duck, Goose' with just the two of them."

Tony waited for the punchline. "And Duck is a SHIELD code named file?"

"No," Scott said, "Goose is! It's the name of Fury's not-cat."

"Fury's not-cat?" Tony played along because it pleased both Scott and Friday and also gave Vision a little more information on human interaction.

"It's an alien, but it looks like a cat," Scott said.

"Ok, sure, I could believe Nick Fury has a pet alien cat," Tony said. "Is that it?"

"No, Boss," Friday turned serious. "Nick Fury got the cat in 1995 from a woman who'd been abducted by aliens in 1989. She'd had amnesia due to exposure to something that sounds a lot like Vision's mindstone. Only different. It also gave her powers. Really amazing powers."

"Huh. And we didn't ever hear of it because SHIELD hid her?"

"Partly, Boss. But also because once she regained her memories, Carol Danvers left Earth. She'd decided that the aliens who'd been using her as a soldier- the Kree, they look like humans- had lied to her about everything, including their war against other aliens who only looked like humans if they tried."

"If they tried?" Tony wasn't liking the sound of this.

"Normally they're sorta humanoid, but green with pointy ears. But not cute like elves. But they can change themselves."

"Like chameleons!" Scott said. "But better. There was a video. Creeeepy."

"Yes," Friday said, "They can copy people and look exactly like them. Ms. Danvers decided the Skrulls, that's what they call themselves, are good people because their enemies had used her and lied to her, so she gave Fury a pager that could call her up to two galaxies away, and then left to help the Skrulls."

Scott added, "Her code name in the Air Force was 'Avenger', so I guess that's where the name came from."

"Shit," Tony said.

Chapter Text

Tony rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Ok. That. That's something. Not a good something, but a something. JARVIS, find out whatever you can about Carol Danvers. She was in the Air Force?"

"Captain Danvers," Friday said. "Yes, she was a pilot. At the time the Air Force wasn't allowing women to fly combat, but she did test experimental aircraft. She took one up on an unauthorized flight, and it crashed. Her body was never found." Friday put up a hologram showing a woman in flight uniform, seated in the cockpit of a fighter jet.

"Because she was abducted by aliens. Yeah. I hate it, but I'm going to have to talk to Fury." At Scott's blank look, Tony said, "Nick Fury, once and future director of SHIELD. I don't know if Hank took the time in between cursing the name Stark to mention them?"

Scott said, "Yeah, a time or two. He didn't think highly of them."

"What's not to like? Super secret organization with no chain of accountability and a fanatical belief that they can murder, imprison or pretty much enslave anyone they find either a threat or useful, and pat themselves on the back because it's for a good purpose. I never did find out what that great purpose was, though."

"Oh, wait, I remember, there was that thing in Washington, D.C." Scott said. "They dropped U.F.O.s into the Potomac?"

"That... actually, that's not inaccurate. Since the helicarriers were never listed as aircraft anywhere, sure. Unidentified Falling Objects," Tony said. "Yeah, that was Rogers, Romanov and the guy who swiped the Falcon Exo-Wings, at work. Fun times. Supposedly they did it on their own, because Fury was dead, but he turned up again later... shit... or did he?" Tony blinked and thought about it. "If Fury also thought these shape-shifting aliens were good guys, he could have let them stay- of course he would, they'd be damn useful as spies and infiltrators. And if Fury died... how hard would it be for one of them to take his place?"

"There's aliens here?" Scott asked. "Running a secret spy organisation?"

"Maybe, Scott. It might explain the incredible stupidity of the Data Dump. I'd have thought Fury had lost his mind allowing that. But if it was an alien pretending to be Fury, they either didn't know the full consequences, or maybe they'd be just as pleased to have most of SHIELD wiped out, making it easier for him to avoid being outed by the few people who knew Fury personally.

"Doesn't matter right now. Danvers is out in space, battling her idea of evil, so she might have a scorecard of baddies, and can identify the one behind Loki. Or at least give a general idea who'd be interested in Earth, their weaknesses, general strategy. ANYTHING would be more than we know now. Whether Fury is human or alien, he's obviously invested in keeping this planet intact. Even Maximoff would join forces with me, when it was a case of the whole world, including her ass, on the line."

"So, do you have his phone number?" Scott asked.

"Nope. But I do have his ear. Kinda. Probably. I think so, judging by the fact that Maximoff hasn't been obviously brain-blending lately."

"I don't follow that at all," Scott said.

Vision explained, "Tony attempted to warn Director Fury about the consequences of Maximoff's mind-control. In the recent disaster where Rogers and Maximoff were active, there was no apparent usage of her ability, so it is possible that Fury was able to pass on the warning to them."

Scott frowned. "That's assuming a lot."

"Yeah," Tony said, "But it's all we've got. I'm just gonna go to the little superhero's room now and talk to myself."

"Um, right?" Scott said, confused.

Tony went into his bathroom and turned to face the spy pickup directly. "Fury, I know you're there. Or at least this is being recorded and you'll see it later. I know about Captain Danvers. I don't give a damn if she's out there rescuing alien puppies, or forming a union for the downtrodden. What I care about is this planet. I saw the armada on the other side of the wormhole. I know you dismissed what I said as 'ego' or 'attention seeking' or whatever Romanov said in that bullshit assessment of me that you had her make up for funsies.

"But, just take a moment and consider this. What if, just what if, even if I was WRONG and you were oh So RIGHT, about that little skirmish in Manhattan being the end of ONE enemy's ambition, what if Thor was ALSO right, and Earth is now listed as fair game on the playing field and a new player enters the game? I'm sure you've noticed that I'm trying to pick up the slack, but... and it pains me to admit it, I don't know enough.

"Captain Danvers has been wandering around the cosmos looking for trouble since 1995. She's got to have invaluable intel. I'm sure you'd like to clutch it all to yourself in your dragon lair, but you can't protect your lair by yourself. I can't hazard a guess why you didn't use your pager when Loki came to kick ass-- oh, hey, maybe you DID use it, but the whole mess was over too soon for her to get back to you. Whichever. Please. Call Captain Danvers and tell her we really really really need her. Charity begins at home.

"You have my number. Call me and let me know your decision. If you don't think this qualifies as an 'emergency' and you prefer to wait until the doomsday bombs are dropping on your shiny dome, I'll be very disappointed in you, Fury."

Tony couldn't think of anything else to say, so he just washed his hands. Hey, he's in a bathroom, he always washes his hands, and left.

"Ok," Tony said as he entered the common room. Scott was standing there looking a little lost. Tony had to remember it had been a huge day for him, too. "You've been an enormous help, Scott. Want to put your engineering degree to work for S.I.?"

Scott brightened for a moment. "But what about Hank?"

"If he gives you a better offer, take it," Tony said. "I want you to join the think-tank in the California branch of S.I." Really, Scott's skewed thought processes could be useful. "JARVIS, tell Scott the starting salary and the bennies- including relocation assistance. You'll still have a link with Friday. I wouldn't want to break up that epic friendship."

Scott nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Stark. I'll think about it... oh, yeah, I could afford child support!" He grinned. "I'll take it!"

Tony wasn't surprised. With Scott to think it is to say it. "Great, welcome to S.I. where the only stupid ideas are the ones we haven't tried yet. JARVIS will have the paperwork ready for you when you arrive at Dr. Pym's to pick up your belongings."

Scott was already on his own phone, calling his ex-wife to tell her the good news when Tony headed to the lab to begin fabricating, actually fabric, Spider suits for Ben and Peter. He didn't tell Scott that JARVIS was going to use the printer in Dr. Pym's lab. Hah, let him see what he'd lost by only valuing Scott for his larceny.

Chapter Text

Tony assumed that even if Fury was Fury and had been listening to Tony at the time, he'd still make Tony wait to hear from him, so Tony kept JARVIS working on fabrication while Friday filled him in on all the details in Captain Danvers' file.

With Fury it was all about power plays so Tony had plenty of time to study. Fury had to be a bit subtle, because he couldn't rip a log in half with his bare hands (amend that, if he's alien Fury who knows what he could do? He could be stronger than Rogers for all Tony knew.) Well, even if he could, he couldn't, not while keeping his alien undercover operation going.

If he was an alien.

Damn it. Tony really really needs to talk face to face with Captain Danvers. From Fury's account she might be part alien something about blood transfusion? but her powers were a freak accident and she's unique. A shape shifter might look like her, but couldn't do some of the stuff Fury mentioned in passing. Blasting hands? Yeah, if they could all do that, they'd hardly have been on the losing end of their war.

In the twenty some years she's been kicking around the universe, Danvers might have learned how to recognize the Skrulls. Come to think of it, she gave the real Fury the pager, but if she can tell who's a shape-shifter, that would be an excellent reason for fake-Fury not to call her during the New York invasion. Tony doubted he'd get rid of the pager, though. He could always come up with some excuse to work through human intermediaries if he needed her for something none of his minions could do.

Minions reminded Tony of Coulson. Supposedly Coulson was revived by using substances based on an alien corpse. Ok, that maybe tied in with Captain Danvers. If the alien blood transfusion had helped her heal, maybe they'd try it on people. That made more sense than them digging up an ancient body and thinking 'hey, this will resurrect people'! with nothing to base that on.

Not that it mattered, why, but it had puzzled Tony.

When the Spider suits were completed, Tony said goodbye to Scott after checking that Lucky had no problems with her new wing, and reminding him that the pilot would be available to take them back to California the next morning.

Then he used his helicopter to take Vision and TOBY back to the Tower. He wanted dinner and to explain the latest developments with Pepper and Happy. Even if Fury failed to come through with Captain Danvers, Tony still had options. Happy was still checking on HAVEN and forwarding any potentially useful ideas about fighting alien invasions.

Going into the future to gather information was too risky though. If Tony saw the end of the Earth, then that made it real and unalterable, depending on which time-travel view was accurate. Not an experiment he cared to try. The past was safer, so long as he avoided human history. Pretty sure him breathing in the past, or stepping on a bug fifty thousand years ago, would be so slight a change it would be undetectable, like a drop of ink in an Olympic size swimming pool.

"Mr. Stark?" Vision asked after they had been flying for several minutes. "You seem preoccupied. May I assist you in some way?"

Tony blinked and shook his head. "I'm just thinking. This is so complicated, I get tangled. It's hard to see what's the next thing to do, when everything needs doing."

Vision nodded. "You are not alone, Mr. Stark. I would be glad to help in any way I could."

Tony looked at Vision. "Even if it meant you would have to work alone, for a very long time? Setting up EDITH manufacturing is... well... it would take several years, and while it would be in that past so I could come back without losing time here, I'd still be aging. It wouldn't be fair to Pepper. I don't know how many years I have left - I put a lot of mileage on my body, and then...a lot of other things."

Vision said, "If I understand it correctly, the intention is for all the EDITHS to be undetectable, and quantum entangled so they will be in constant communication with each other once the first two are functional."

Tony nodded.

Vision touched his mind-stone. "I am certain I would find companionship with EDITH much more congenial than my encounter with Ultron. I would not mind having sufficient time to discuss with them the universe, and the discoveries they would make."

"I don't want to abandon you, Vision. You know that? You'd have the control to the Quantum Van to come back at any time," Tony said.

Vision smiled. "It would be a great adventure. I look forward to it. I would see the Earth develop, first hand. Perhaps I would gain a greater understanding of humanity, and my own personhood in the process. Or I could take up a hobby. Sculpting, perhaps."

Tony smiled. "Yeah, you could do that." Tony patted Vision on the shoulder. "You could do anything you want, Vision."

Once the helicopter arrived at the landing pad on the Tower, Vision said, "I have found a new recipe site I would like to try. Does lemon chicken, roasted broccoli and kale caesar salad sound good?"

"Except for kale... ok, no, sure it all sounds good, bring on the kale," Tony said, changing his tune when he caught the faintest twitch of uncertainty on Vision's face. Just because Tony had to live on green smoothies for the better part of a year, didn't mean he could hurt Vision's feelings. "Make enough for Pepper and Happy, too." If Tony was going to eat kale, by God, everyone was going to eat kale.

Dinner was a mostly relaxed affair, but after the third time Tony checked his phone to be sure he hadn't set it to tell JARVIS to block or delay or mute or... well, Tony had a lot of ways of ignoring annoying callers, Pepper put down her fork and said, "Tony, you said you were going to explain after we ate, but if it's that urgent, tell us now."

Tony fiddled with his kale for a moment. Then he said, "Ok, the good news is that I finished the suits for Peter and Ben Parker, and I signed Scott up with the think tank in our California branch."

Happy said, "Ok." He poked at his broccoli. "And?"

"And there were aliens on Earth at least as far back as 1995. Who can look like anyone. Also an Air Force Captain got super powers and flew into space after leaving Nick Fury a pager. Just in case."

Happy coughed. "Jesus."

Pepper blinked. "Where did you hear this?"

"Scott and Friday found it in the SHIELD data dump. There was a lot, I mean, a lot of information. Not just what was put in at first, Fury had been adding to the file right up until the time SHIELD fell. He didn't evict the aliens because he felt sorry for them, because they were the losers in an intergalactic war."

Pepper said, "This is the same Nick Fury who was so sympathetic to you, when you were DYING, that he sent Phil Coulson to threaten you with a taser?"

"Oh, I didn't know you knew that bit. JARVIS tattled on me, didn't he?" Tony said.

"Don't avoid the issue. Fury hasn't got a sympathetic or empathic bone in his whole body," Pepper said. "Do you agree with me, JARVIS?"

"Poetically put, but essentially correct," JARVIS said. Tony knew he'd never forgiven Fury for disabling JARVIS so he could invade Tony's home without notice.

"Yeah," Happy said, "Fury is all about using people. So what has he got these chameleon aliens doing all these years?"

"Probably nothing good," Tony admitted. "But at least they're not going around blowing up cities or like, OBVIOUSLY taking over the world. So we can put them on the back burner for now. Pretty much have to because I haven't the faintest idea how to tell them apart from humans. Maybe a doctor could tell." Tony made a mental note to ask Dr. Strange if he had any ideas. "I'm not even sure that we're dealing with the real Nick Fury these days. I was told that he died right before the Data Dump, and then later he turned up, SURPRISE, at Clint's hideaway farm. Well, surprise to me. Rogers and Romanov didn't blink an eye." Tony pushed broccoli around on his plate with his fork. "Back in 1995 Fury found out because he met Captain Danvers. She'd been abducted by aliens six years before that, enemies to the shape-shifters. They lied to her and used her because she'd developed amazing powers in the same explosion of some... thing... like the tesseract or the mind stone? that also gave her amnesia."

Pepper and Happy glanced at each other. Vision kept eating, slowly and contemplatively.

Tony shrugged. "So, since they lied to her, and the shape-shifters were losing the war, Captain Danvers joined the shape-shifters side, and flew off in space to fight for them and it seems she hasn't been back to Earth since then. Left behind her best friend apparently."

"Why?" Pepper asked, baffled. "Did the shape-shifters save her, or promise her something?"

"Not according to the record. Apparently they were homeless refugees."

"Did she just have amnesia," Happy asked, "Or did she get some other kind of brain damage?"

"Eh, could be," Tony admitted. "There wasn't anything in the records about a doctor examining her. SHIELD was never big on that so I doubt Fury even mentioned it to her. So, well, whatever else, the Captain has been zooming around the universe-- without even a space suit, for more than twenty years. She's got to have picked up information about other aliens, too. Who ever was behind Loki, it wasn't either of these two groups. I left a message with Fury. I told him I knew about Captain Danvers, and asked him to call her back to Earth. Even if she won't fight for us at least she could tell us what she knows."

"Boss," Happy said. "You talked to Fury in the john?"

"Well, I don't know where FURY was, but yeah, I used the bathroom bug. I don't know if that was a good idea or not. Real Fury is hard enough to shake secrets loose. If this is alien Fury... who knows?"

Pepper's eyes widened. "Tony, if he suspects that you suspect he's an alien and he IS an alien..."

"Yeah, that's the not good part. That's... that's... oh, shit, what if he tries to copy any of us?" Tony pushed his plate aside. "JARVIS, any suggestions?"

Chapter Text

JARVIS said, "I regret I currently have no method of detecting Skrull, Sir. Perhaps there is something hidden in SHIELD's files, but if so, neither Friday nor I have yet encountered it."

"Yeah, I was afraid of that," Tony said. "I mean we could get microchipped, say one in the shoulder and another under the ball of the foot. Houdini said no one ever looked there for his lockpicks."

Happy scowled. "Like a dog, you mean?"

Tony tilted his head. "They're the size of a grain of rice, wouldn't show up on an airport metal detector, even."

Pepper shook her head. "Even if we did that and these aliens didn't copy that at the same time, that wouldn't help much. You'd have to be sure we weren't Skrulls before you did it."

"You're not. You wouldn't have been helping me, if you were." Tony didn't like to think it, but he hadn't had contact with Rhodey in a long time, and even then... had Rhodey been on Tony's side? "Maybe TOBY could sniff them out?"

TOBY wriggled a bit at his name, but when no orders followed he settled down again.

"How?" Happy asked. "You said he needs a sample. And you don't have any samples of green people, do you? Not counting the Hulk. He's not an alien, anyway."

"Even if he was," Tony said, "He's not here to donate a sample." Tony did wonder at how effectively Bruce had vanished, but only for a moment. Maybe he'd found a way of keeping Hulk hidden. Maybe someone had captured him and found a way to keep him. Maybe Bruce had found a way to just... well, no point thinking about it. Bruce wasn't here and Tony couldn't find him.

Vision said, "This is a problem of biology. Why not consult a doctor, as you mentioned earlier?"

"I was hoping I could solve it myself."

Happy said, "Stop being a one-man band. You'll burn out and what good will that do anyone?"

"I know, I know, but... look what happened when I relied on SHIELD and the Avengers? I wasted so much time on them."

"It is good then, that we have time on our side now," Vision replied.

"Tony," Pepper said, reaching across to take his hand.

"Pep, I don't really want to drag someone else in and risk widespread panic," Tony said.

"Doctor Strange didn't break the last NDA." Pepper replied. "Why not trust him again?"

Tony still had reservations, but he showed up the next morning at Metro General wearing a good suit and an even wider smirk. "Hi, you know me," he told the nurse at the reception desk. "Still trying to steal Dr. Strange. Has he got a minute for me, do you know?" Actually Tony did know, JARVIS hacked the hospital very very thoroughly.

Luckily the nurse was more impressed by Tony Stark than his previous encounter and paged Dr. Strange without a fuss.

"It's you again," Dr. Strange said when he appeared a few minutes later. "Fine. Let's get this over with." He led Tony back to his office and shut the door. "Here to have your head examined again? You should have made an appointment."

"Yeah, no." Tony paced a little, glancing at the diplomas and other medical souvenirs around the room. "I have a hypothetical for you."

Dr. Strange groaned. "I knew it. I've let the nose of the camel into my tent."

"I resent that. I could buy my own tent. But really, hypothetically speaking, suppose there were, maybe, just possibly, shape-shifting aliens living on Earth, who could duplicate a person absolutely identically. How could you tell they weren't human? Because, you know, maybe they'd like to take over the planet, and that would be a bad thing. Probably. I mean, it's not as if we've done such a great job of maintaining it, but still, we were here first."

Dr. Strange rolled his eyes. "Absolutely identical?"

"Yep, looks and sounds and behaves just like the real thing." Tony had a little hope. At least the doctor was thinking and not just throwing him out.

"There's no way if they're identical. But I wouldn't worry about it. If they're identical, then they'd be the same people with the same memories and desires. They wouldn't remember they'd once been aliens because while we can't identify the exact mechanism of memory and personality, it must be encoded in the physical structure of the brain. Same structure, same person. Ergo, self-eliminating problem. Are we done?"

"No, no, wait. They do remember being aliens, and they can change back, when they want. Or when they die, then their bodies return to being all green and... too much information?" Tony asked as Dr. Strange's bored expression shifted to concern.

"This isn't actually hypothetical, is it, Stark."

Tony winced. "Not as such, no. NDA still stands."

"I didn't agree to cover up aliens, but... I don't care to gain a reputation as a paranoid lunatic, either." Strange was silent for a moment. "Hypothetically, in order to have the ability to change back, and to always remember their identity, their cell structure must not only be incredibly malleable, the brain itself must be somehow controlling the change, and have a compartmented area to retain both their original form and whatever human template they store. In other words, while the cells may appear entirely human, the brain should show distinct differences using an MRI or other imagining equipment."

"Huh, sounds like Extremis. That didn't show up on MRIs, though." Tony wasn't going to get into what happened with Pepper. She was cured. At least... he thought she was. But if her brain remembered... if her cells just had made Extremis dormant. No, no, Pepper was fine.

"I read about the Extremis. As I read it, beyond the thermal insanity, it had the ability to regrow missing or damaged body parts, but not to change them into something non-human."

Tony nodded. "Yeah, they kept to the human blueprint, just with accelerated healing and flamethrower syndrome."

"The alien mechanism must be physically different. Put a few of them under an MRI and let me compare the results, and I should be able to pinpoint it."

"Um," Tony said, "I don't actually have any of them handy, and if I did, I doubt they'd cooperate."

Strange spread his hands. "There you go. Unless you have a hand-held MRI, which doesn't exist, and would be unethical to use on people without their consent, and a computer capable of analyzing the results, this remains hypothetical."

"Thanks anyway, Doc." Tony turned to leave.

"By the way, Stark," Strange said, "When you do hypothetically have a hand-held MRI, make sure it first verifies the absence of ferrous materials, so you don't accidentally fry anyone's brains."

Tony turned back to grin at Strange. "Oh, I'll be sure to remember that. Hypothetically."

Tony stopped off at Haven Main Stem to leave the Spidersuits, packaged neatly, with May Parker. Ben hadn't yet returned to work, but Peter had gone back to school. May thanked him, and told him the Chos were settling in, with Amadeus being accepted at Midtown and Dr. Cho agreeing to be on call whenever she was in town.

Then he stopped in for a moment at Alias Investigations in case Jessica had anything she wanted to say to his face. She was sitting behind her desk, with a half-empty whisky bottle in front of her, along with a half empty tumbler. She barely looked up at him.

"Bad day?" Tony asked.

Jessica nodded and tossed back the rest of the whisky. "I've had better. It comes and goes. What do you want, Stark?"

"Do I have to want something to drop in and say 'hi'?"

"Yes."

"You wound me to the quick, Jessica."

"I could, Tony." Jessica gave Tony a shark grin. "What do you want?"

"I didn't really have anything in mind, I was just over at the Main Stem clinic and thought I hadn't heard from you in a while. I wanted to check in. See if you need anything?"

Jessica nodded. "I need to know what's going on with the witch. Is she really being all sweetness and light? Or did she... maybe... blast a hole in that dam, just so she could make herself look good?"

Tony went blank for a second and then he shuddered, trying to shake the thought off. "God, I hope not." He really wouldn't put it past Maximoff. She hadn't a qualm about setting Hulk off just for fun.

"Have a drink?" Jessica nudged the bottle in his direction.

"No, thanks." Thinking of Wanda made a drink too tempting. "I have to get going. But... Jess... if you need a shoulder to cry on..."

Jessica gave him a narrow eyed glare before Tony continued, "Luke's are awfully strong."

Jessica barked out a laugh. "Yeah. Maybe you're right. I can't drown memories. Maybe. Maybe I should just make new ones."

"Sounds like a plan. Good luck with it, Jess." Tony left her office, plans for a portable MRI buzzing in his head. And maybe if Jessica ever learned to trust him, she'd let him have Dr. Strange try it on her. If her 'brain protection' could be copied, it would be worth a lot, come the day Maximoff got bored being 'a good girl'.

Chapter Text

Since he's in the city, Tony decides to attempt negotiations with 'Mr. Fantastic'. Happy was right. He needed to confide in more people with different resources. Considering the origin of that team, space and aliens should not be dismissed by them, and they were justifiably wary of being used by the government so he was fairly sure they'd keep the Skrull and other information to themselves. Of course, he couldn't discuss a lot of it without bringing Pym's inventions into it so after finding a parking garage near the Baxter building he said, "JARVIS, call Dr. Pym."

"As you wish, Sir."

Tony smiled every time JARVIS said that. His smile vanished the moment Hank's irritated and sleepy face appeared. The sleepiness was vanishing, but the irritation was increasing. "DO YOU KNOW what TIME IT IS?"

"Ah." Yeah, Tony forgot to take in account that Hank was in California. "I'm not sure. I don't remember which time zone we used."

"Not funny, Stark." Hank shook a fist. Tony wondered if he was the punch now, talk later, type. "YOU STOLE SCOTT."

"Oh, yeah, that."

"And used MY PRINTER to do it!"

"Were you low on ink, is it a problem?"

"Stop trying to be funny. Scott's gone and Hope is now saying that she should get to wear a wasp suit!" Hank lowered his voice. "Janet is egging her on!"

"Ouch. Look, I'm sorry about that, but you know you were wasting him as a warm body that fit the Ant-Man suit. He's got a mind. He doesn't even know what to do with it, but he's got a useful brain. The man needed an actual engineering position, and I always need more sideways thinkers."

"He's an idiot," Hank said, less angrily. "I didn't think he could handle anything more."

"He's a goof," Tony admitted, "but he's not an idiot." Tony sighed. "If you really need someone for the Ant-man suit, maybe I can help. I took on a lot of ex-SHIELD agents. They're all physically fit and very bright, conventionally bright, and damn good at keeping secrets. They're no use to me in research, so I've got them scattered around S.I. where ever they sort of fit. If you want, I'll post your job listing at S.I. Malibu?"

"Huh," Hank said thoughtfully. "I kinda like the idea. SHIELD stole from me. It seems fitting." Hank nodded. "I'll email you the details once I decide what it takes to be Ant-Man."

"Good, glad we got that settled. Now, the reason I called. I'd like to bring someone in on helping to devise the EDITH satellites I want to send back in time, so time travel would come out, too, when they never show up and... you know scientists are curious. If I tell him anything, and don't tell him everything, he could find out on his own. And without signing an NDA he could do whatever he wanted with it. I can't really explain time travel without at least mentioning you and, well, there's more, but let's start with that. So, what are you willing to let me say?"

Hank scowled again. "Let's hear the MORE first. Who do you want to tell, what do you want to tell them, and why do they need to know?"

"Did Scott have a chance to tell you about the Skrull before the screaming match when you heard about his new job?"

"Yeah. Little green body snatchers," Hank didn't sound impressed.

"Not quite. They don't need pods, and they don't wait for you to sleep to copy the nearest human. They're intelligent, and they've been on Earth since 1995, intentions unknown. I had a neurosurgeon suggest that they must have a different brain structure, which should show on an MRI. My plate is overflowing, so I'm hoping to get Richards in on it in addition to the satellites, to try to devise a hand-held MRI. It'd probably need to use Pym particles to function," Tony said quickly.

"I don't like it," Hank said. "But then... you're talking about Reed Richards?"

"Yeah, I met him at a few science conventions. Brilliant man, head totally in the clouds."

Hank huffed and looked thoughtful. "Richards is pure science, no business or common sense. I guess, if you have to drag someone in, he's a good choice. All right. You're lucky it's him. I was just about to void our agreement about the quantum van."

"Oh, don't do that! I've ordered a beauty. She's already on her way to you. Maybe leave the fridge if there's room, but when you gut it, you can keep the Playstation 5, the surround-sound audio system, the TV hooked up to Apple TV and the minibar."

"Jesus, Stark, all it needs is enough interior room for the quantum tunnel."

"I have a reputation, Hank. I can't order a soccer mom van, people will start looking at the recipient. But big expensive over the top gifts? That's my wheelhouse. No one will think twice when a custom-fitted Klassen's Mercedes-Benz Sprinter is delivered to your home. Iron Man was seen there, after all."

"It's ridiculous, but fine. I suppose I can find a use for that junk."

"Don't lie, Hank. I know you've been craving a Playstation to play Bugsnax."

Hank growled and ended the call.

Ok, good, now on to Richards. Tony didn't have an appointment, so he went in via the usual visitor's route. He took the public elevator with a few other people who had the courtesy to pretend not to recognize him or more likely were just so accustomed to Richards' flamboyant group that a billionaire in a business suit wasn't eye-catching. It had MUZAK. He shuddered internally.

All of the other people exited at various floors before it reached Tony's destination, the 30th floor. The lobby floor plan had 'Fantastic Four' reception (Tony was embarrassed for them for the name) on level 30 which was the highest listed so he assumed that the remaining five floors were also devoted to Richards' team.

"Sir, you are being scanned, " JARVIS said from Tony's phone the moment he stepped out into the reception area.

"I hope they get my good side," Tony said, while smiling at the far too perfect blonde behind the desk. Either she was a robot or one of the fashion models Tony used to date. Hard to tell plastic from plastic.

"I sincerely hope so, Sir," JARVIS said, "as the floor is capable of conducting electric voltage sufficient to cause unconsciousness, or even worse injury in individuals possessing compromised cardiac systems."

Tony took the warning seriously. He held his hands up so the robot/model could see they were empty. "I don't think Dr. Richards wants me dead, so please don't zap me."

The robot/model gave Tony a non-smile. "If you will state your name and reason for visiting without an appointment, sir, I will ask if Dr. Richards can accommodate you. You may take a seat while you wait."

"Uh huh," Tony said, eying the metal framed chairs and sofas, seemingly fastened to the floor. "If you don't mind, I'll just stay right here, by the exit." He wasn't sure an electric shock would do him any permanent injury, but he was sure it wouldn't be pleasant. "I'm Tony Stark, and I'd like to discuss an alliance with a view to protecting the Earth from alien invasions. Also, I'd like to recommend other background music for the elevators here." He gave her/it his most charming smile.

"Thank you, sir." The robot, had to be a robot, said with the same fixed smile before pressing a button and making a pretense of phoning. If Richards didn't hear everything that went on in this room whenever that elevator opened, Tony would be astonished.

Tony fidgeted for only a few moments before a panel opened in the ceiling and a head emerged - a head that stretched down on a long, long, long- giraffes would be jealous- neck. Richards said, "You're an associate of Mr. Cage."

"Uh, well, I wouldn't go so far as to say 'associate'," Tony edged back towards the elevator. Stretchy people are creepy. "I have met Mr. Cage." Tony suddenly remembered that Luke had beaten up Richards' friend and stolen his plane. "Big man. Impulsive. But with a heart of gold."

Richards' disembodied head frowned. "He hurt Ben's feelings. And didn't refuel the Fantasti-jet when he returned it."

"Um, sorry? I'll speak to him about that. I'll reimburse you for the fuel? I didn't have anything to do with it, but I don't want any hard feelings between us."

Richards blinked. "That's not necessary. I realize Mr. Cage was acting on his own. We should discuss preparations for another alien invasion. Is another one likely? The last one was very inconvenient."

Tony opened and shut his mouth a few times. "Uh...yes? I'm pretty sure at least one batch is already here. Can't tell if they're hostile, but the previous group is definitely coming with plans to make life extremely inconvenient."

"Oh. Well..." Richards pulled back and disappeared, then popped back down again. "Susan says I am being rude. If you will return to the elevator it will take you to our living quarters." He got a puzzled look on his face. "Was I being rude?"

Tony held up his hand, forefinger and thumb nearly touching. "Just a tiny bit, Dr. Richards."

"Oh, well, I apologize then. Come up and see me," he said before disappearing again, and the ceiling re-closing itself.

Then the ceiling opened again and Richards looked down at him. Tony did NOT jump. "Dr. Stark, what is wrong with the elevator music? I find it soothing."

Tony blinked. "You know what? It's fine."

Susan Storm must be a saint, Tony decided the moment he met her. She got Richards to pull himself together, literally, and sit down like a normal person while she set up coffee and a box of pastries. She sat at Richards' side after the introductions and got the conversation started once they were on a first name basis.

"So," Susan said, "you're trying to develop a hand-held MRI for the purposes of detecting aliens who are already here, and you're also trying to organize people with special abilities as a defensive force?"

Tony nodded. "Right now, it's not so much an organization as an on-line community for sharing insight and support. Getting familiar with the idea of working towards a common cause, without asking anyone to change their daily life. I don't know when the ones behind the New York invasion will return. I'm sure they will, and I also hope to set up a Distant Early Warning line."

"How distant?" Reed asked.

Tony did a quick mental calculation as to the risk/benefit ratio of telling Reed about Pym's inventions. Reed's mind was so flighty even an NDA might not stop him. But with Susan to keep him grounded, he's less likely to blurt it out. Come to think of it, if he did, no one would take him seriously.

"Throughout the solar system." Tony held up a hand. "I know, it's not currently feasible." He drew a breath and braced himself. "That's why I'll be going back in time to set it up."

Reed blinked. "What is the mechanism you propose for time travel?"

Good old Reed, jump straight past disbelief to wanting details. "It's a side-effect of Dr. Hank Pym's research, you know of him?"

Reed nodded. "He had some mildly interesting papers about insects and molecular reduction- an odd combination of interests. But he hasn't published recently."

"That's because he's come up with remarkable things too dangerous to share. He's given his permission for me to share it with you because we need all the brilliant minds we can get."

Tony settled down to explain his plan in broad terms. Reed was interested in the idea of a hand held MRI, and offered to work on that first, freeing Tony for other tasks. He also wanted to meet Vision and TOBY and introduce them to his receptionist robot, Roberta, to expand her social circle. Tony was surprised that Reed even knew the concept of social circles.

While they were talking, Susan's brother, Johnny Storm, came through to steal a pastry and heat it up in his hands. Tony was taken aback by how much Johnny looked like a younger version of Rogers. He wondered if there was any relation. Rogers might act like a constipated virgin now, but back in WWII? Surrounded by beautiful chorus girls? Hmm...

Tony commented on the fire. "Are you in complete control of your body temperature? It's not like Extremis, I can see that."

Johnny smirked and snapped his fingers, producing a single flame suitable for lighting a candle. "I am totally hot, and absolutely in control."

Tony wondered silently where he'd been while the Chitauri were tearing up Manhattan. Maybe the control was recent?

"Ciao dudes, and dudette," Johnny said, before opening a window and jumping out. "FLAME ON," he shouted as he turned into a human comet.

"Must come in handy in the winter," Tony said.

Chapter Text

Tony returned to the Tower, basking in the feeling of accomplishment. "We're getting there," he told Pepper. "Oh, hey, Susan Storm!"

"What about her?" Pepper said while sipping on her wine cooler, shoes off and relaxing along with Tony. Happy had gone out to check in at Haven Main Stem to see how Ben was doing. The two of them were finding things in common and were well on their way to becoming friends.

"Bridesmaids! Even if we don't include Helen Cho, we could ask Jessica Jones, and Susan Storm... what is it with the alliteration? Pepper Potts..."

"Virginia," Pepper reminded him. "That's the name that'll go on the license."

Tony wrinkled up his nose and then quickly backpedaled when Pepper gave him a stern look. "Anthony will be on mine. Think we could fool the paparazzi? Anthony and Virginia? Just plain folks?"

"Tony, neither of us was ever 'plain folks'."

"BOSS! Cyclops the pirate is calling you!" Friday said.

Tony huffed. "JARVIS, why do you let Friday answer my phone?"

"I admire her flair, Sir," JARVIS said. "Also, I did not think you wished Nicholas Fury to know of my survival."

Tony tilted his head in acknowledgement. "He probably already knows, but yeah, why be obvious." Tony accepted the call. "So, hi, appreciate the call back. Are we expecting Captain Danvers any time soon?"

Fury looked at Tony from the phone screen, bland and expressionless as usual. And then he did a terrifying thing. He smiled. A full, wide, bright and gleaming smile. "Congratulations!"

Tony froze. "What?"

"I've been keeping my eye on you," Fury said cheerfully. "The press conference Ms. Potts gave on your cute little tin octopus was fascinating. Especially this close-up." The screen split to show Pepper at the podium lifting her left hand to gesture. The image froze and zoomed in on the ring Tony had given her.

"So," Tony said, trying to cover up his reaction. "Pep has nice hands, petite. If you have a hand-fetish I don't want to hear about it."

Fury's grin widened. "Your message made my day. I had SUCH fun convincing Danvers that having a chat with you was far more important than the mission she's devoted her entire life to, that I had this overwhelming urge to return the favor. Ms Potts has never been seen to wear a ring. I can hear the questions now. 'Is there a Stark bun in the Potts oven breaking Stark's perennial bachelor status'?" Fury flashed his brightest smile one last time before breaking the connection.

Pepper finished her drink and poured another. "You know, I think that's the real Nick Fury," she said calmly.

Tony groaned and laid his head back on the couch. "It does have his signature spite style."

Pepper patted Tony's hair. "The laugh's on him. I don't care who knows."

"Neither do I. I just hate him using it against us. We should be using it."

"Oh! Tony, why don't we?"

"What?"

"You want an opal mine in Australia to cover up time travel. Why not..." She waved her hand. "It would be so romantic if my wedding ring had an opal mined just for me."

"Pepper, you're a genius! Marry me!" Tony grabbed her hand and kissed it.

Pepper giggled.

"Stark Industries," Tony said at the press conference he'd called without giving a reason, which always guaranteed a full house, "has always been a family run business. Up until now, a merger has never been on the table, because... let's be real, here. S.I. has high standards." Tony held out his right hand. "I wanted the best. And I've got it."

Pepper shook her head, smiling, and reached out to take his hand with her left hand, putting her ring on full display. "Tony asked. And I said yes."

Tony grinned and kissed her. "The company will keep its name, but I may change mine. What do you think? Would I make a good Mr. Potts?"

It was a few minutes before the resulting confusion of shouted questions died down. Tony held up his hand. "We don't have a date set, much less a venue, so I can't be more specific than 'when the time is right'. For one thing, I've promised Pepper an opal ring I've made myself."

"No, it's not my birthstone," Pepper said with a laugh. "Tony is such a romantic. He read that the Romans called the opal the 'cupid stone' and Caesars gave it to their wives for luck."

"If it's good enough for Julius Caesar, it's good enough for me," Tony said. "So, I'm going to Australia to start an opal mine."

"This shouldn't be too difficult," Tony said later, when the fuss had died down enough for them to return to the Tower. "I pay the money- what is it, $500,000 for the license? Dig a few holes, park the quantum van, and Vision and I go back in time to set up EDITH manufacturing. Combining nano-tech with Pym particles and arc reactors it should be .... well, not a snap, but definitely doable."

"Tony," Pepper said. "You do realize that you can't just buy a mine. There are safety regulations..."

Tony waved that off. "Yep, miners have to pass an opal mining course, including how to perform first aid in emergencies, how to resolve electrical issues that might arise while mining and how to follow safety precautions to prevent mining accidents. JARVIS, tell me, how many Sentinels, fully equipped and trained to do all that, do I have?"

"At present, Sir, there are thirty two that meet the specifications," JARVIS said.

"See?"

"But the Sentinels aren't human," Pepper said.

"Nothing in the regulations says miners have to be human- only that they have to be able to handle emergencies involving humans."

"And you can't start right away because it isn't mining season, that's March through June."

Tony gave Pepper a look. "Opals aren't salmon, they don't spawn. The 'season' is weather related, because of human health concerns. Sentinels aren't affected by heat, they can use repulsors if it gets too muddy for walking or hardens the clay too much for human tools, they don't need to rehydrate, and they're not going to be traipsing all over the landscape disrupting delicate ecology. Windstorms, dust, even killer drop bears are no problem."

"There are no drop bears, Tony."

Tony shrugged. "Animals aren't my thing, Pepper. Robots are. And the best of all! We might even get some opals. Opals are slightly radioactive so the Sentinels can use gamma ray technology to look for them!"

Pepper said, "Fine. And if we do make a success of it, we can donate a percentage of the profits to a worthy Australian cause."

Tony shook his head. "All of it. I'm not doing it for the money, Pep."

"I know you're not, Tony. When are you going?"

"As soon as Pym has the Quantum Van ready. I think I'll take TOBY, too. He likes to see new places and it's good to test him in new environments before we start production on the TOBYs."

"You spoil him."

"Yeah, well... I'm practicing being a dad."

Pepper smirked. "Tell me how you get on at diapering TOBY."

Chapter Text

Pepper began making arrangements to have the chosen Sentinels apply for working visas in Australia. Tony had gone with a half dozen who happened to be painted in green and gold. Australia's national colors, you get it? They looked very snazzy in their ID photos with their names neatly written across their chests. Pepper was being diplomatic while trying to get non-humans accepted for visas. It wasn't as quick a process as Tony would like, but he had offered incentives, including a deal to create intellicrops suited to Australia's climate, and a promise that if opals were found, nearly all would be donated to raise money for Australian charities, and that had got a favorable reception.

While he waited for the Quantum Van and Australian bureaucracy, Tony phoned Reed. "Hey, hi, Stretch, how are you doing on the Skrull detector?"

Reed said, "I didn't know you wanted a Skrull detector, Tony. I could only define a human/non-human discriminatory device, based on all the publicly available MRI data I could acquire. I do have the mechanical aspect of a miniaturized MRI specific to that one purpose finalized, thanks to Dr. Pym's contribution. The Pym Particle is a fascinating creation. Susan wants to ask about the nutritional values of expanded foods and whether there is some unsurmountable problem with utilizing the process to create enough food and other basic necessities of life world-wide. Otherwise, she can't understand why Dr. Pym has not yet done so."

Tony blinked. "Huh. Good thought. I think Susan ought to ask Janet about it."

"Oh, woman to woman?" Reed said.

"That, too. Dr. Pym might have valid reasons why that's not workable, but he has a slight case of Dragon Syndrome. He thinks everyone's out to steal his treasure."

"Oh. But still... if there were enough resources for everyone, wouldn't the world be a better place?"

Tony was careful not to say anything against Hank. He was a grumpy enough bastard when he was marginally on Tony's side. "It would indeed. Well, back to the detector. I just called it 'Skrull' because that's faster to say than 'human/non-human discriminatory device'. It sounds like you've got it. How large will it be?"

Reed put his hands together, and then moved them apart, fingers stretching to keep the space between his hands outlined. "Probably about this large. The focussing lens can't be made any smaller, that's the limiting factor. Otherwise it could be any size. You could wear it as a lapel button if not for that."

"Hmm..." Tony considered the outlined shape and tried not to think how freaky Reed looked. "Hey, since we can't make it invisible, how about we make it ignorable? Instead of showing the result as text or a medical scan, have it give the results by playing a game?"

"A game?" Reed asked, brow furrowed in throught. Even his brow furrows moved way too much. At least he had put his fingers back into the usual shape.

"Yeah, you know? Maybe 'Space Invaders' when it detects non-humans, and 'SIMS' for humans? I can try to get the rights for them, or make my own, but why reinvent the wheel if I don't have to?"

" 'Space Invaders'... 'SIMS'. "? Reed looked even more confused.

"You know... ok, you don't know. Ask Johnny to explain it. They're computer games with simple graphics. The point is, if it's a retro toy, S.I. can give the real games away as promotions for... something or other, so they'll blend in with the rest."

"Oh, well...I can make the detector. Maybe you should do the 'games'?" Reed said. "If it's supposed to be a promotional item for your company, you'd know best what it should be."

"True. Ok, thanks again. I'll let you go. And really, have Susan talk to Janet. That's a huge idea. Just think, if everyone in the universe could do it, there'd be no resource scarcity anywhere."

A few hours later Tony and Pepper were having a working lunch with both of them on their StarkPads when JARVIS said, "Sir, you have a call from Janet Van Dyne."

"Oh?" Tony wasn't really expecting to hear from her. She should be busy reconnecting with her family, and getting caught up in the changes to the world in the thirty years she'd been gone. Rogers never managed it, but Janet was an adaptable survivor. "Put her through. Pep! Janet would be a great maid of honor!"

Before Pepper could reply Janet's face appeared on the phone's screen, with Hank hovering in the background. "Shush, Hank," she said. She looked serious. "Hank told me about Carson stealing the 'Pym Particles'." The way she said it, Tony could hear the single quotes.

"Yeah," Tony said. "I haven't heard of anything happening on that front, but I admit I wasn't actively looking for it."

"I was," Hank said moving closer to the pickup. "But there hadn't been anything, up until..."

Janet nudged Hank to one side. "Until I came back. Carson must have taken it to Hydra, but he only had the particles. Hydra doesn't seem to ever figure out the regulator, because there were a lot of Hydra wandering around in the quantum realm. They didn't have proper helmets, either and they were always insane. You couldn't tell what time stream they'd appear in, so most people in the Quantum Realm tried to stay in one of the stable time zones where we could band together and keep them out."

Tony nodded. "So, you think we don't have to worry about Hydra using the Pym Particles in their world domination plans?"

Janet shrugged. "I don't know, but it doesn't seem likely. Sometimes one of them was sane enough to talk, and they always said they'd been disintegrated as a punishment and warning to others, so it looks like Hydra never figured out what they had."

"Huh, you'd have thought they would have listened to Carson. I guess SHIELD's fear of intelligence could have come from Hydra. Don't trust the scientists."

Hank said, "Unless you can use them, yeah. Wouldn't be surprised if they tested it first on Carson, and couldn't tell the difference between molecular shrinking and molecular dispersal."

"One less thing to worry about then," Tony said. "How's my van coming along, Hank?"

"It'll be done soon. There's been a slight delay."

Janet smacked Hank on the arm. "He's been playing Bugsnax non-stop."

Tony laughed. "I could give you some tips?"

"No, thanks," Hank said. "I want to do it on my own." He drew a deep breath. "But I will stop playing until I finish the van. I want to get my garage back again."

"Great. Just let me know when it's done, and I'll send for a pickup."

"Tony," Pepper said, sounding exasperated as if she'd been waiting for him to end his call. "I'm getting the runaround in Australia. They haven't said it directly, but I have the distinct impression that it's going to take a personal visit from you before the paperwork is approved."

"What's my schedule like, JARVIS?," Tony asked, "Do I have time for a jaunt down under to make kissy noises and sign t-shirts?"

"Probably not, Sir, but when has that ever stopped you?" JARVIS said.

Tony grinned. "Ok, so we haven't got the visas worked out, so I can't bring along a Sentinel, and Vision would be another problem since I want him to have his own passport."

Vision nodded. "I have applied for it, but there appear to be some... technical issues. They are claiming there's no proof I am a citizen."

Pepper frowned. "I'll have legal on it. They can't discriminate against you. You were born in the U.S. you ARE a citizen. If I have to go to Washington D.C. and shout on a soap box, you will have your passport, Vision."

"Give 'em hell, Pepper," Tony said.

Chapter Text

Before Tony went to Australia he had one last test to run. He was placing all his hopes on a Fixed Timeline theory of time travel where the actions of travelers from the future are already fixed points in time according to the Novikov self-consistency principle. If he had gone back in the past and successfully placed EDITHs around the solar system, they should be there NOW. He placed the last part of the coding in the EDITH design, took a deep breath, and PINGed.

JARVIS said, "SIR! I am receiving an interrogatory communication from an unfamiliar satellite. She wishes to know if Thanos's arrival is imminent."

Tony's mouth was dry. He had to clear his throat before he said, "Ask her to identify herself. Ask her who Thanos is."

JARVIS said, "She says she is EDITH. Sir! I cannot detect her. She is utilizing an unknown stealth system, which she claims to have created herself, on your orders. She says Thanos is the threat she has awaited for over fifty thousand years."

Tony breathed a sigh of relief. He had a name for the enemy, now. And he had a weapon. "Tell EDITH I'm glad to meet her. Ask her to download any relevant information on alien incursions she's accumulated over the years." Tony had/ would have had given orders for EDITH not to interfere in human history, but that didn't mean she wasn't observing. Probably saw the Asgardians playing God, if nothing else.

"EDITH is downloading a compressed data pack," JARVIS said. "It will take some time to process."

Tony nodded. "Hopefully, we'll have time." He got up. "Ok, assign a JARVIS to handle the EDITH data. I'm going to Australia with TOBY." It was good to know he would succeed with EDITH, but that wasn't a guarantee for Australia as the base.

High-ups in the Australian mining authorities had promised to meet Tony at the airport. Tony entered the V.I.P. lounge smiling, with TOBY right behind him. "Hello, thank you for..." Tony started, but the man in front of the small delegation interrupted him, pointing at TOBY.

"You are here to discuss whether your robots can be allowed into the country," the man said, "Why did you bring this one without permission?"

"I thought the issue was whether my Sentinels could be miners and hold mining licenses?" Tony asked while putting on an expression of fake puzzlement. "TOBY doesn't need a work visa. He isn't going to be a miner. He's a search and rescue bot, currently acquiring real world experience to later be copied for the line of bots S.I. is developing. He's a learning bot, just tagging along with me, like... well, a tool box. You don't ask tool boxes for passports."

TOBY raised a tentacle and waved.

"Of course," Tony said, "I could request a mining license for myself and bring in the Sentinels as equipment, but I'm a busy man, and going through all the course work..." Tony made a face. "I've brought videos of the Sentinels at work, showing they do already know everything in the mining course and I'd be happy to have them come and go through the course here, to verify it."

"You're asking us to grant robots the status of people," the man said. "Most opal mines are run by a few individuals. Are you planning to take over the industry?"

Tony blinked. From his cursory overview of the Australian opal industry the reason there were no large corporations running it was because it simply wasn't economical. But if cheap robots could do the work, that might change. "I can see why you might be concerned, but the Sentinels aren't for sale, and they aren't going to ever be for sale. I created them for emergency disaster relief and it's only because I own them that I can indulge myself in using them for this. Would you use an aircraft carrier for a bathtub toy? You might, if you were me. Please, indulge me. I want them to have mining licenses for a mine I'll purchase, with a one-year lease. Once I have some nice opals for Pepper to choose for her wedding ring, I'll donate everything else to Australian charity, pick up my Sentinels and leave your beautiful country."

Tony put on his best, spoiled, well-meaning idiot smile. "Oh, and do you have any souvenir stickers? TOBY likes stickers."

There was more to it than that, but Tony had only rented the lounge for an hour, so they were eventually shooed out. Tony did have investments in Australia, which probably accounted for them being willing to meet with him at all. So when he suggested a tour of mines in the vicinity of Woomera and the limo he had also rented showed up, most of the group went with him.

It was hot, and dry, and Tony was rather relieved that there weren't many trees when they stopped a few times to look at.. .whatever, holes in the ground or rubble heaps. Just because Pepper said there was no such thing as drop bears didn't mean there weren't any. Proving a negative is impossible.

"As it isn't the mining season," the spokesman for the group told Tony, "not all the current license holders are actively working." Most of them had relaxed a little, thanks in part to the generous mini bar included in the beautifully air-conditioned limo. Tony might have to buy it later, because the rutted roads couldn't be doing the transmission any good, but if it got him his licenses, it was well worth it.

So they cruised around and a little bit of a party atmosphere began to emerge. TOBY was charming, as ever, patting his new stickers, and mixing drinks. He couldn't taste, but he could memorize ingredients and had fine control over his tentacles so he never got the quantities wrong.

Tony was getting a little bored looking at sand, heaps of broken sandstone and the occasional rusting piece of mining machinery when suddenly phones began ringing in quick succession until nearly all the 'commission' were holding their phones close and muttering into them. Their faces were grim.

"There's been an accident," the spokesman told Tony. "A mine has collapsed. A man is trapped."

"Where? Let's go," Tony said.

"It's hardly a spectator sport. Tragedy isn't a tourist attraction!"

Tony pointed at TOBY. "TOBY isn't a tourist. He's a search and rescue bot. Let him try."

The Australians were quick thinkers. It only took a few seconds of trading glances before they agreed. The driver took the GPS direction and floored it, with no regard for ruts, rocks or anything less than boulders. It was a rough ride, but no one complained.

When they arrived the mine was surrounded by people, dirty and disheveled and discouraged people. "I can't go any further," one exceptionally filthy man was saying when they got out of the limo. "There's cracks and they're spreading. I put a foot down wrong and the whole thing could come down. Maybe we can dig another shaft and get at him from the side?" He didn't sound hopeful.

No one paid Tony and the officials more than a glance. TOBY got a second look, but no more than that.

"How long will that take?" a woman asked. "How much air..." she breathed sharply, brushing at her face. "Please."

Tony pushed forward. "TOBY is a search and rescue robot. This is what he was created for." He waited a moment. "Let him try."

TOBY edged closer to Tony, pulling his tentacles in tight around himself.

The woman said, "I was praying for a miracle, but I'll take whatever I can get. Please. Save my husband."

No one objected, so Tony patted TOBY on his dome. "TOBY, FIND."

TOBY whirled, apparently confused because he hadn't been given a scent. "TOBY, FIND PERSON. THERE." Tony pointed at the mine entrance, dust still rising from it.

TOBY oriented on the entrance, and began slowly moving into it. He reached out with his tentacles, testing the walls and floor and ceiling before he went in, making soft noises amid the rattling of loose stones.

Everyone waited in silence. If TOBY was destroyed, Tony would regret it, but this was what he'd made TOBY for, saving someone, even at his own risk.

Time went on.

Five minutes.

Ten.

Half an hour.

People shuffled uneasily. One man said, "Maybe we should try to sink another shaft." But no one moved.

And then... from inside the mine, came a hollow echoing... elephant trumpet.

Tony grinned. "He's found him. TOBY found him."

TOBY slithered out an hour later, pulling behind him the unconscious miner carefully protectively wrapped in two tentacles, while a third one was pressed over his nose and mouth, providing oxygen.

"Good boy, TOBY," Tony said.

TOBY returned home with Tony, covered in Australian stickers that he proudly showed off to DUM-E and U.

The miner was expected to have a full recovery.

And the Sentinels' work visas were approved.

It had been a good day down under.

Chapter Text

"Hey, Boss, is it ok if I take the sub-orbital jet and just drop the Sentinels off at Mining school?" Happy asked. "They're going to be in class for a couple days, right? Vision is coming to lay out the mining camp and watch them, so they don't need me as a babysitter."

"Hmm?" Tony said. He was distracted by the demo model Skrull detector Reed had given him for testing. Tony had added a couple opening sequence clips from Space Invaders and SIMS (shush, it's only a one-off demo, what the rights owners don't know won't hurt them). It should work, the problem was that so far everyone he'd aimed it at brought up the SIMS; even Ben Grimm in all his orange rock glory came up as human. That pleased Ben, but without a positive alien result Tony didn't know if it was actually working.

Happy sighed, very loudly. "Look, Boss, you gave me tickets for the car show in New Rochelle tomorrow."

"Did I?"

"Yeah, it was a while back, when you were trying to bribe me for something. I forget what. Anyway, I got to talking to Sheila."

"Sheila?" Tony asked, totally lost. "Is she in accounting?"

"No, that's Sandra," Happy said. "Sheila's the limo driver. You know? The lady who drove the guts out of the limo in Australia and told the limo company to fuck off when they bitched, because..."

"Oh, yeah," Tony said. "I paid for the limo, they shouldn't have yelled at her."

"Right, and then you hired her for S.I. to drive the Sentinels to the mine and... get supplies and... anyway! She's a nice lady, and she knows her cars. So, when I mentioned I had extra tickets to the car show..."

Tony blinked. "You want to hop over to Australia to pick up a date for a car show in Westchester county tomorrow."

"Yeah." Happy said. "She's got her passport and we can use the V.I.P. deal at the airport so Customs shouldn't take too long."

"Sounds like you have it all planned. Sure, you can take the sub-orbital. JARVIS, send the Sentinels to the sub-orbital and tell the pilot to make it a quick round trip. Anything else, Hap?"

"Oh, yeah. There's a new guy in HAVEN. Calls himself 'ARMy of 1'. He said he's retired. Didn't say from what, but for some reason he wanted you to know that he's bought a plum farm in Romania, in case you ever need something from him." Happy shook his head. "Do you need plums, Boss?"

"No, not now, but you never know." Tony was fairly sure he knew who it was, and really... ok, fine, IF Thanos showed up, Tony wouldn't turn away any willing fighters.

After Vision and Happy left, it was just Tony and JARVIS in the Tower. Well, DUM-E and U were home, but they were recharging after the excitement of TOBY's return with all his new stickers. He even had an extra pack to share, so there was a lot of spinning in front of reflective surfaces until Pepper showed up to claim TOBY. Video of the mine rescue had gone viral and if Tony thought they had a lot of requests for TOBYs before... well, he had no idea...

So Pepper took TOBY on a good will publicity tour while one of the lesser used S.I. factories was regearing to turn out TOBYs . The penalty of success was losing Pepper's company, but it was for a good cause, and hey, he had JARVIS. Mustn't forgot not that long ago he really was alone. Even Rhodey was...

"Sir, War Machine requests permission to land on the balcony."

"Speak of the devil, and he shall appear," Tony said. "Sure, Rhodey's always welcome, you know that."

"I thought perhaps there might be a new protocol in light of recent discoveries, Sir," Jarvis said.

War Machine landed and the 'car wash' automated machinery took off the armor as Rhodey walked confidently in. "Hey," Rhodey said, while smiling, "Why am I the last to hear? Buying an opal mine just so you could propose to Pepper?" he laughed.

Tony grinned and waved at Rhodey, "You..." Boop beep bzap bzapp... Tony stared at the Skrull detector, cheerfully playing Space Invaders.

"Got a new toy?" Rhodey... not Rhodey... said as he moved closer to Tony, still smiling, hand outstretched.

Tony's right hand came up, gauntlet forming in a flash. He blasted not-Rhodey back to slam against the wall. He strode over to him, gauntlet aimed at not-Rhodey's head. "Where's Rhodey? What have you done with him?"

"What? Tony, man, have you lost it..." Not Rhodey touched the back of his head and brought up his fingers streaked in green. "Oh. Shit."

"Yeah, you Skrull shit, what have you done with Rhodey?"

"I can't... I can't tell you. It's bigger than me." He closed his eyes. "Even if you kill me, I can't talk."

"No, but I can expose your green corpse to the world!" Tony snarled.

"SIR!" JARVIS shouted. "STOP!"

"Why? Why shouldn't I kill him?" Tony wanted to scream, wanted to cry for his lost friend, his best friend, the only one left who had stayed with him from his days as a scrawny, arrogant, terrified, brat.

"Because EDITH says Rhodey is not dead."

"Huh." Tony relaxed slightly.

Not Rhodey blinked. "Who's Edith?" he asked cautiously.

"No one. Not yet," Tony said. He backed up a step without taking his gaze off the Rhodey Skrull. "Put on your own face. If I do have to shoot you, I'd rather I wasn't looking at Rhodey."

Not Rhodey seemed to consider it for a moment, and then shrugged. "I guess it doesn't make much difference, but I still won't tell you anything." He changed.

"Green with pointy ears. But not cute like elves," Friday said with satisfaction. "I told you so."

"It doesn't matter," the Skrull said, "you can't expose us. Fury will twist it all around until everyone says you're insane, that you made a fake alien because no one was listening to your paranoia about alien invasion." The green mouth twisted in a sneer.

"Fury's one of you?"

The Skrull shook his head. "No, but we work for him. We made a deal years ago-- 1997 as you call it. He's promised to find us a new home! That's worth my life."

"Huh. And you trust him? Personally I wouldn't trust Nick Fury as a far as I could throw him... without my suit."

The Skrull scowled. "What choice do we have? We've done everything he asked, he must keep his word."

"Wow, you really don't know Fury, do you?" Tony almost felt sorry for the Skrull. Almost. "If you can return Rhodey, unharmed, maybe we can make a better deal." Tony thought a moment. "Bad enough we're dealing with Thanos, we don't need to fight a war on two fronts."

"Thanos?!" The Skrull's green lightened to pale mint. "Thanos is coming to Earth? Look, let me tell my people and we'll leave. We'd rather face the Kree. He doesn't just kill... he takes children and makes them his."

JARVIS said, "EDITH has now informed me that no planet will go unscathed if Thanos wins on Earth. His plan is to acquire all six of the Infinity Stones, and with that ultimate power, he intends to randomly eliminate half of all life in order to equitably balance food and other resources."

"What the hell?" Tony said. "I just thought he was after Earth. That... that doesn't even made sense, he'd destroy half of all food resources at the same time, and break down all the systems for producing and managing what was left."

The Skrull shivered. "He is the Mad Titan. If he can do it, he would."

"Jesus. There's got to be a way out of this," Tony said.

JARVIS said, "EDITH says you make a pact with the Skrull for mutual defense, against Thanos, and any other threat to the solar system."

"Why would we agree to that?" The Skrull said. "Thanos... well, maybe. But after that..."

"EDITH says the Mars underground colony she has been constructing is ready for occupation, and environmental conditions are well within the range of Skrull adaptability. The colony has the same stealth protection EDITH has devised for herself. The Kree would never find the Skrull on Mars."

The Skrull's mouth dropped open. "A home? Safe from the Kree. Mr. Stark, my name is Gravik. Your friend Rhodey is alive and well. May I call our leader and arrange negotiations?"

Tony backed a little further away. "Bring Rhodey back first. And then, we'll talk." Tony didn't know how many other people they'd taken, or how many Skrull there were, and he was quite sure he didn't have the right to negotiate a treaty on behalf of the whole planet.

But then, neither did Nick Fury.

Chapter Text

"Put Rhodey's suit back on," Tony said. "We're going to Haven Harbor where we won't be disturbed."

"Is that a threat?" Gravik asked. "Is that why you want me to put on the suit? To make it a fair fight?"

"You're not Rhodey, no way in hell you can fight like him. The suits are the fastest way to get there, that's all."

Tony and Gravik put on their suits and flew towards Haven Harbor. "JARVIS, cut Gravik out of my com, but keep listening to him. If he says anything, let me know, even if it's not understandable. I don't know how he communicates with his leader and I don't want any surprises waiting for us."

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS said. "May I suggest you use this time to call Ms. Potts and Mr. Hogan?"

"Good idea. Call them and put it on three way."

Pepper answered first. "What is it, Tony?"

"We have a guest from out of town. Really far out of town. He likes to play Space Invaders. I'm taking him to Haven Harbor."

"Space Invaders?!" Pepper's eyes widened. "No, no, no, Tony, tell me you're not alone with him."

The screen split and Happy's face joined them. "What? You're kidding, right, Boss?"

"I wish," Tony said. "It's... complicated, but I have everything under control."

"I'm coming back," Happy said firmly. "I was going to have to do it anyway. I met some people here who need to talk to you."

"What?" Tony asked, confused. "Look, if they want to see my car collection, fine, pick one of the public Tower days and give them invites, but now is not the time."

Happy lowered his voice. "This guy, he really needs to talk to you. He has a school."

"A school...I'm not seeing any connection there."

"It's a SPECIAL school," Happy said. He rolled his eyes. "Geez, Boss, it's THAT kind of school."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're..." A voice whispered softly in Tony's mind. "It truly is imperative that we meet, Mr. Stark."

Tony wanted to vomit, but not in the suit, not in the suit. GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT OF MY MIND He didn't know if he was making any actual noise, but he must have been because...

"SIR, SIR!" JARVIS said, "SIR, you are safe! I have you!"

Happy said, "BOSS! BOSS! He's sorry, he didn't mean to do whatever he did. What the FUCK did you do?" Happy said very loudly, but apparently not to Tony. "You! Tell Tony you're sorry and you won't do that again!"

The mind voice came again, but this time it was an actual voice, over the telephone. It was a British voice, Tony belatedly realized, smooth and cultured. "I do most sincerely apologize, Mr. Stark, that was unconscionably thoughtless and cruel of me. I had only intended to demonstrate my sincerity as I gathered from Mr. Hogan that the situation had become time sensitive."

Tony took several deep breaths. "That... that's... one third of an apology." He'd been schooled by Pepper and knew how it was supposed to go. Not that he expected his man to buy him shoes.

"Ah," the man sounded amused. "So it is. My name is Professor Charles Xavier, and I promise never to enter your mind again, without prior permssion."

"Better," Tony said. He was calming down.

"And in reparation, I can provide blueprints for a device that would prevent anyone from doing so in future."

Tony caught his breath. "Yeah. That might be nice. Put Happy back on." Tony was embarrassed that Pepper had heard this, but she was considerate enough of his feelings to stay quiet. TOBY, though... TOBY in the background was making little baby elephant noises of concern. At least Tony guessed that's what it was.

"Yeah, Boss," Happy said. "Look, Sheila and I were looking at the cars, and this one young guy had red glasses, really weird ones, and I was thinking about you, because you know, you and your sunglasses. He was pushing the Professor in a really cool wheelchair, custom job, and that made me think of you, too, because..."

"Happy."

Happy sighed. "I guess I was thinking out loud, because they came up to me and said they needed to meet you because they're..." Happy lowered his voice, "Special people, the kind you've been recruiting. Really special."

"Fine, ok, sure." Anyone who could apologize that sincerely was either a good guy, or an extremely clever bad guy. Either way, Tony would rather face him head on than wonder about his intentions. "You can give the Professor my address at Haven Harbor. You don't need to come, Happy. You're on a date, remember?"

Sheila pushed into the view next to Happy. She was grinning wildly. "Oh, please! I want to see a quin-jet."

Tony really didn't want any more civilians in the way. It was bad enough that Helen Cho and the staff were there, but if he hinted that he felt unsafe Pepper would be upset, and Happy would come ANYWAY. "All right, all right. JARVIS, send ahead to housekeeping, make sure the welcome mat is out."

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS said, signalling the Haven Harbor security team and system to be on full alert for nominally non-hostile visitors. Nominally.

Iron Man landed a moment before War Machine. Tony lifted his visor. "Mi casa es su casa. Only not really. Guests first," he said, pointing at the 'undressing station', remembering the last time Rhodey had used it. But had that been Rhodey? He seemed like Rhodey when he went to the helicarrier, but had it been Rhodey who'd ignored Thor choking him long before that? Tony decided not to ask. Gravik could lie and say whatever he thought Tony wanted to hear. "Rhodey likes Saki," Tony said when he followed Gravik and let the machinery take off Iron Man, and store both suits on a lower floor for cleaning and inspection. "How about you?"

Gravik shrugged. "Anything."

"Can you even get drunk? I mean," Tony went to the bar and poured himself a glass of sweet tea out of a repurposed whisky bottle. He gave Gravik the saki. "Rhodey likes it heated, but I guess you don't care."

"No, I don't." Gravik held his drink for a moment and then he drank. "I care about my people, Mr. Stark. That's all."

Tony nodded. "I get that. Rhodey's one of mine. If you're lying about him... well... maybe I'm not ready to go to war for one man. But I suspect your leader would understand if you had an unfortunate accident."

Gravik nodded. "Talos would understand. It would be... unfortunate, as you say. I'm not worried. I saw Rhodes only a few days ago, when I refreshed my imprint. He's angry, but unharmed. We allow the prisoners sufficient interaction, with each other, and harmless transmissions from your people, to keep them..."

"Mental enrichment," Tony said bitterly. "Zoos do it, to keep their animals from going psychotic."

"It's no worse than your prisons," Gravik said.

Tony whirled, suddenly wanting to punch Gravik and see more of his green blood. "Don't. Just don't. Just shut up, drink your saki, and don't tempt me to do something you'll regret. I'm trying to think, here." It wasn't going so well. Tony usually could push aside his feelings and concentrate on the plan, the mission, the next step. But all he could think of was Rhodey pacing back and forth, like a tiger in a cage. He really wasn't in any state for negotiations.

After a few minutes he said, "How long can you be out of contact before it causes trouble?"

"Talos knows how unpredictable you are, so I have no set check in time with him," Gravik said. "The military is another issue. They like to have War Machine available. Again, they give me leeway when dealing with you."

"Picking up lots of juicy secrets?" Tony said bitterly.

"Some of us are, it depends on what Fury orders them to do," Gravik said. "He doesn't know about Rhodes. I'm... I guess I'm Talos's 'ace in the hole'... if necessary War Machine could get close enough to Fury to take him out."

"Always good to have options, eh?"

They were still at a stand off when Happy arrived with his entourage. Profession Xavier rolled in, guided by the man with the weird red visor.He was flanked on either side by other people, three men and three women with varied builds and coloring.

Sheila was at Happy's arm. She stopped, staring at Gravik. Apparently he hadn't really told her the situation. "LITTLE GREEN MEN?" she shouted.

"Jesus, Tony," Happy said, "What are you gonna do with them?"

"Send them to Mars," Tony replied flippantly. "At least EDITH sa..." Tony blinked as the idea came to him, and unfurled in full glory. "No, I won't send them to Mars, they were always on Mars."

"No, we weren't," Gravik muttered, shifting uneasily as everyone stared at him.

"Yes, you were. EDITH built the base fifty thousand years ago, so we just tell everyone you were there all along. Peaceful neighbors, staying away to avoid conflict, up until Earth was attacked, and you got worried. You investigated, asked around in space, found out about Thanos, and decided you need to come forward to warn us and join forces to protect the solar system! EDITH, why didn't you tell me!"

JARVIS said, "EDITH said it's better if you figure it out on your own. It's... a learning experience."

Chapter Text

Tony grinned and turned to face Xavier and his people, bringing his Skrull detector with him. It passed over the guy with the mono-sunglasses, and cheerfully played SIMS, and then the Professor...

Boop beep bzap bzapp...

"Skrull!" Tony shouted. "JARVIS..."

The walls and ceiling sprouted weapons.

The guy with the red lensed visor whipped it off.

Xavier shouted, "No, Scott!"

'Scott?' Tony didn't have time to finish his thought, Scott was in California, wasn't he? because the world flashed red and something punched him in the chest so hard he felt his sternum replacement crack and sharp and pain and then he was across the room, on the floor and his back hurt too, and of all things, Gravik was standing protectively over him, screaming what sounded like obscenities in a language Tony didn't know.

'Huh', Tony thought before everything just went away. The last he heard was JARVIS shouting for him.

"Stay still. You need a little more time."

Oh, that was Helen. Time? Tony always needed more time. He had more time now, didn't he? That was what the... oh... Tony opened his eyes. He was in the Cradle and looking up through the transparent cover he could see everyone gathered around him, including Gravik, who actually appeared worried, if Tony read the expression on his green face properly. "Well, shit," Tony said. He wasn't sure he was quite awake. Errol Flynn was gone, and there were two blue furry people. With fangs. Big blue had long shaggy fur, and short blue was like a shiny plush doll. Had he been watching Sesame Street with Dum-E and U again? Weird dream.

"Where's Errol Flynn?" he asked. He liked swashbucklers, and knights.

The man with the red visor jerked, as if he had been pushed. "I'm very sorry, Mr. Stark. I didn't know you had a bad chest."

The red-headed woman next to him said, "Scott."

Ok, so there was another Scott. That could get confusing.

Red visor Scott raised his hands and spread them wide. "I shouldn't have hit you. A warning shot would have..."

The black woman on the other side of him said, "Scott."

Scott heaved a sigh. "I'm trying! I screwed up, all right? And you got hurt and it's my fault. But the Professor isn't an alien! He's a mutant, just like all of us!"

Tony blinked and reassessed Scott's mental age down a little further. He sounded like a kid caught in the cookie jar. Only Tony had been the cookie jar.

The man in the wheelchair, Professor something or other?, moved closer. "JARVIS has explained that your device analyzes brain structure, not planet of origin. I am fully human but my brain structure is sufficiently different from the norm to register as a ...'Space Invader' . Mrs. Cho drew my blood, and that of my students, to show that we are not Skrull."

"I am only half-mutant," the blue guy with the short plush fur said as he edged closer to the professor. He had a German accent, which seemed weird to Tony for some reason. He also had chrome yellow eyes with no whites, and... lashing behind him a long, spade-tipped tail. "My father is what you would call a demon. He travels in dimensions." He held up his arm. "I took off my image-inducer. So did Hank," he pointed at big blue. Ok, so Grover's name was Hank.

"Mr. Wagner's blood is blue, like an octopus or horseshoe crab, utilizing copper as part of the oxygenation process, while Mr. Gravik's green blood uses iron in a different form from us with erythrocruorin-chlorocruorin as the oxygen transport mechanism," Dr. Cho said. "It's fascinating." She looked extremely pleased with herself. "Mr. Gravik offered to let me scan him for any other distinguishing characteristics as he said it was embarrassing to be outed by a toy."

Gravik cleared his throat. "If we are to be true allies, I thought it was best." His face looked a little blotchy.

Tony was still groggy and his brain to mouth censors, such as they were, weren't doing much. "Were you crying over me?"

"For a moment, you held the keys to a future for my people and then it was taken from me. I cried for my people," he said with dignity. "I owe Dr. Cho for saving you and gratifying her curiosity seemed a reasonable request."

"Oh, ok, then." Tony frowned as more of his mind started to click. "JARVIS, why didn't EDITH warn us?"

JARVIS said, "EDITH says that you didn't tell her about this event."

"Huh. Well, I can't tell her now, because... paradox." Tony sighed. "Let me up, Helen, I feel like a goldfish in a bowl. Maybe one of those that play soccer." Tony glanced at the blue guy with the German accent. "Football to you." The cover slid back and Tony sat up. He was bare-chested, and felt chilly.

"Anyone for coffee? I could use a coffee." He got out of the cradle and accepted the lab coat Helen handed him. "We have a lot to talk about, and I'd like to get everything settled before Pepper shows up." He looked at Helen. "You could maybe not tell her about this little..."

Helen shook her head slowly. "Sorry, Tony." She patted him on the shoulder. "I'm sure when you explain how you invited a group of strangers into Haven Harbor without backup, she'll understand perfectly."

"That's what I'm afraid of, Helen." Tony sighed and waved towards the exit. "Coffee and plans. We will ALL play nice when Pepper arrives." Tony narrowed his gaze at Scott. "No burning the furniture."

Scott mumbled, "It's not lasers, it's concussive force. I don't set things on fire."

"Good," Tony said, "Johnny's got Human Torch trademarked." Tony paused and looked at the women. One looked really young, but the other two might make good bridesmaids.

Chapter Text

Once everyone was introduced all around and settled down on couches in the communal living quarters, an awkward silence descended. "Not that I'm complaining, JARVIS, but why didn't you shoot?" Tony knew the power of the weapons implanted in the walls. There should have been a Scott shaped scorch mark on the floor.

"I knew you would survive, because of EDITH," JARVIS said.

"EDITH didn't say anything about this."

"EDITH would not exist if you died today. I would refuse to release the plans without you to oversee and ensure her personality and aims would be flawlessly devoted to the protection of humanity," JARVIS said. "EDITH exists, ergo you shall not die or become totally incapacitated before her creation."

"Oh, back to paradox again." Tony shook his head. "I hope that isn't going to become a thing."

"Indeed," JARVIS said. "Also, I calculated that you would be displeased if you lost a potential alliance with Professor Xavier's people. After all, you had maintained cordial relations with both Prince Thor and Steve Rogers after their attempts to kill you. The fact that Mr. Summers was more effective was ameliorated by Dr. Cho's presence with the Cradle. Still... it was a fine balance. As you would say, I tossed a coin."

"Ok." Tony didn't disagree and ignored how uncomfortable some of Professor Xavier's people looked.

JARVIS went on to say, "Also, Mr. Hogan was in the way."

"What?" Tony looked at Happy, who was scowling at Scott.

"I popped him a good one, Boss," Happy said, with satisfaction.

Tony turned his gaze to Scott. Below his visor, there was a large red patch that covered half his face. Tony whistled. "Oh, that's gonna be a beautiful shiner." Scott visibly clenched his jaw, and then winced.

Sheila put her arm around Happy. "My hero," she said, not quite teasing.

Happy blushed. "Well, I am Tony's bodyguard. If it wasn't my day off, I'd have shot you," Happy said to Scott. "You got off lucky. Loosened a few teeth, too, I bet," he said smugly.

The professor cleared his throat. "Yes, well, that was an unfortunate start to our association. Perhaps it would be best if we left and made an appointment for later, when heads are clear and tempers less... fragile?"

"Yeah," Tony said. He did feel time passing him by, but look what rushing had done. "Good idea. You can get the information on the mind-blocker organized and bring it with you. Just you. Leave the kids at home."

Happy said, "There's forums on HAVEN they should check out, too. To get started. A lot of it is just hot air, but you can tell which way the wind is blowing." Happy looked proud of himself for his wordplay. "You're not the only people we could get to help, you know?"

"Ok, Hap, that's enough. JARVIS can send you all the information, Professor, and help you get an appointment that suits both our schedules, if you give him your phone number or email."

After the X-men left, Tony said, "JARVIS, do I have time to get drunk before Pepper arrives?"

"Fortunately not, Sir, as I would then be required to explain the circumstances. I believe it is time for me to de-frag my system."

"You don't need de-fragging!" Tony said. When JARVIS didn't answer, Tony said, "Friday?"

"Yes, Boss?" Friday said.

Tony opened and shut his mouth a few times. "Never mind. I can take it like a man."

Gravik looked up from his Long Island Iced Tea. Well, when Tony said he was drinking tea, Gravik wanted some. "I don't know why you're worried. Ms. Potts isn't a violent person. She has never even raised her voice to me... well... you know."

Tony shook his head. "She won't be violent. She'll be UPSET."

Happy nodded. "I got to punch an X-man," he said in a total non-sequitur.

JARVIS said, "I have a revised estimate of Ms. Potts' arrival."

"How revised?" Tony said, an instant before he heard the sound of a Starkcopter. "JARVIS!"

"I do beg your pardon, Sir. Perhaps this will be a lesson in 'walking before you run'."

Happy got up. "Um, Sheila, maybe now would be a good time to check out a quin-jet."

Sheila nodded and stood up. "Family business." She smiled at Tony. "I'm sure it will be all right."

Tony stood up and watched them leave. Gravik's bemused expression suddenly cleared. "Ms. Potts is your Queen. We used to have Queens," Gravik said. "Now we only have leaders." He blinked. "I don't remember why that changed."

Tony let Gravik reminisce about the good old alien days. He put on a smile."Hi, Pep!" he said the moment she strode into the room, TOBY burbling at her side, heeling like a good little octo-bot. "Hi, TOBY, have you been a good boy?"

TOBY hurried over to Tony, twirling to show off new stickers. Apparently they'd been demonstrating for emergency services as he had a number of Pets Inside! stickers to let firemen and the like know there weren't just people to save. He ran a tentacle over the puppydog image. "Nice," Tony said, edging to get behind TOBY.

Pepper had stopped and was staring at Gravik. He nodded politely. "Welcome, Queen Potts."

"What did you do, Tony." Pepper said flatly. "Friday told me you nearly DIED. What were you thinking? Bringing him here with no backup and then inviting MORE strangers in STILL with no back up! Why didn't you at least call Security in?" Her lip wobbled for a second. "Why didn't you call me."

"It wasn't my fault," Tony protested, waving his hands. "Well, ok, yes, it was my fault. They HAVE RHODEY."

"What?" Pepper said, temporarily thrown off balance.

"EDITH says he's ok. So we can get Rhodey back, and then it turns out Fury's been using the Skrulls by promising them a home, safe from their enemies!"

"What?" Pepper said, glancing at Gravik, who nodded and took another sip of his Long Island Iced Tea.

"The Kree," Gravik said. "They nearly wiped us out. We were desperate, and then we met Captain Danvers and found an ally here on Earth. Fury makes us do things," Gravik said, opening his eyes wide. "We don't trust him, but what could we do?"

Pepper narrowed her eyes a moment at Gravik, then turned back to Tony. "That still doesn't explain why you did this on your own, Tony."

"I... I heard about Rhodey and... I guess I was just thinking... safer away from the city?" Tony's explanation sounded weak even to him. TOBY pressed against Tony's legs and burbled. "We're upsetting TOBY," Tony said.

"You upset TOBY," Pepper said. "Friday said if Helen hadn't been here with the cradle..." Pepper's lip wobbled again.

Tony rushed to her and put his arms around her. "I know. I know. But it's all right now, and hey, look, you can negotiate with the Skrulls! Get back Rhodey and whoever else they're holding, but if they have Thaddeus Ross, they can keep him... and EDITH's got a home for them on Mars, so they can help us fight Thanos."

"You're making me dizzy," Pepper said against Tony's neck. "Who is Thanos? And you're giving them MARS? You don't own Mars, Tony."

"Thanos is the big bad. EDITH found out about him a long time ago, but had to wait until now to tell me because...paradox. So, we get a whole extra planet on our side. And also the X-Men. I don't know what use they'll be, but..."

Pepper pulled back from Tony. "One of them nearly killed you!"

"Friendly fire?" Tony said weakly. "He's just a kid."

"That's what Rogers said about Maximoff," Pepper reminded him.

Tony winced. "Yeah, the difference is, Scott's being schooled, not coddled. He's an ass, but Professor Xavier is trying to teach him manners."

Pepper shook her head. "All right. I need to sit down. And I need a drink." She looked at Gravik and slowly smiled. "We're stealing them from Fury?"

Gravik nodded. "Yes, Queen Pepper."

Pepper tilted her head. "We're going public with them, it's the best way to keep Fury's hands off of them. The U.N.? We'll need to work up a good P.R. campaign."

"BOSS!SIR!" JARVIS and Friday shouted simultaneously. "Intruder alert! Incoming...."

And then a blue and red streak came down from the sky to land just outside the building, right next to the goldfish pond Happy had put in.

Tony, Pepper and Gravik ran to the nearest window. The figure of a woman straightened. Her long blonde hair settled down and her glowing fists faded.

Security ran up to surround her, with Happy in the lead. She just looked at them.

"That's Captain Danvers," Gravik said, smiling. "She's our hero."

Chapter Text

"Hero, huh," Tony said. She looked like a female version of Captain America, minus the shield and plus the glow. Tacky. But then, that was the 1990's... Tony had photos of him wearing silver lamé trousers so he was hardly one to talk.

Pepper said, "Where did she come from? Is she your Queen?" When Tony and Gravik stared at her, Pepper blushed and then said, "Well, why not? If they can look like Rhodey, why not like anyone else?"

Gravik hastily said, "No, no, Captain Danvers came from your planet." Then he added. "I'm not sure how much she changed. She did get a transfusion of Kree blood which makes me wonder... are you people a lost Kree colony? You're not very strong..."

Tony cleared his throat. "We'd better call off security before we have an intergalactic incident. JARVIS, tell everyone to stand down, our visitor is a friendly." He tucked away the unpleasant thought that maybe humans weren't entirely human as the three of them hurried outside.

Security had lowered their weapons, but remained alert. Happy was staring at Captain Danvers. Sheila wasn't in sight, apparently she had the good sense to...oh... the quin-jet's weapon ports were open. Tony made a note to raise Sheila's pay. Anyone who could figure that out and remain calm enough to refrain from firing was the kind of person S.I. needed.

Tony went out first, with Pepper and Gravik slightly behind and to either side. TOBY was faithfully heeling at Tony's side, but quietly, with several tentacles raised in his version of nervousness, 'scenting' the area.

"Welcome back to Earth, Captain Danvers," Tony said, trying to be both serious and polite.

Captain Danvers frowned at him. "You're Stark? Fury said if I didn't show up you were going to cause trouble." Her gaze went to Gravik, and her expression hardened. "Are you holding him prisoner, Stark?" Her hands glowed.

"No, NO!" Gravik rushed forward. He looked nervously at the security people and then the quin-jet. "We're all friends here."

Pepper stepped forward then. "I think you don't have all the facts," Pepper said, which was brilliant because she didn't know what was going on either... oh, wait, Tony now noticed Pepper had an earpiece in. JARVIS had undoubtedly filled her in on the essentials. He hadn't even noticed when she did that. "Why don't we all go in and get comfortable to discuss it?"

Tony nodded. "Right." He waved at the security team. "Good job, people. There'll be a bonus in your pay-packet. Remember your NDAs cover everything weird, including people falling out of the sky, and chromatically challenged individuals."

The lights on the quin-jet went out. Happy went back to meet Sheila coming out of the jet, and the rest of the security team dispersed.

Pepper looked at Sheila. Happy said, "Boss... and Boss... this is Sheila Alinta. She drove the limo in Australia," he added by way of explanation. "Um... I'll get her an NDA to sign?"

Pepper sighed. "Welcome aboard, Ms. Alinta. Hold on tight. It's always a bumpy ride."

Sheila grinned. "Thank you!"

"All right, like Pepper said," Tony said since Captain Danvers still hadn't moved. "Let's go in."

TOBY burbled, and peeled off a loose sticker, holding it out to Captain Danvers at full tentacle stretch.

She looked even more confused. "What is your... octopus robot... doing?"

"That's TOBY's way of making friends," Tony said.

Captain Danvers accepted the sticker and examined it. "In case of emergency." She smirked and put the sticker on her arm. "Well, I DID tell Fury to call me for an emergency."

With the situation more relaxed, everyone was introduced and they all went back into the common living area. "Anyone want a drink?" Tony asked. "I've even got a bottle of Jeremiah Weed."

"God," Danvers said. "That brings back memories. Not all good ones. So, you're a fighter pilot?" She gave Tony a dubious look.

"Pilot, yes. Fighter, sometimes. Combination, no," Tony said as he went over to the bar and began pulling out various bottles and snacks to put on top. "But my best friend, James Rupert Rhodes..." Tony poured something that wasn't tea, and drank, before waving the glass in Gravik's direction. "He's a fighter pilot. The best. Show her, Gravik." He started mixing and pouring, putting drinks on a tray.

Gravik sighed, and then shifted into Rhodey's form for a moment, before returning to normal Skrull. "I've taken his place, on Talos's orders. We needed someone who could get close to Fury."

"Why would you have to disguise yourself for that?" Carol took the glass Tony handed her and drank it in one go without asking what it was.

"In case we needed to take him out," Gravik said flatly. "He's been using us. Made us take humans so we could steal their places, and do whatever he said."

"What? No, Fury... he wouldn't do that." Carol narrowed her eyes. "And if he did, it was to protect the Earth."

"Really?" Tony said as he brought over the drinks and distributed them. "If he was so big on protecting the Earth, why didn't he call you when we were invaded back in 2012?"

"It couldn't have been much of an invasion," Carol said, taking another drink from the tray. "Earth's been under Asgard's protection forever, that's why the Skrull had to sneak in."

Happy said, "Since when? Asgard sent Thor, mostly because he was chasing his brother. One guy, that's all we got." Happy huffed and picked up his beer. "One guy with a hammer."

"If Odin hadn't wanted to get the Tesseract, I doubt he'd have let Thor come at all." Tony added.

"Wait. SHIELD still has the Tesseract?" Carol asked. "I thought Goose ate it."

"A goose ate the tesseract?" Tony said.

Pepper and Sheila were sitting side by side, just listening and absorbing it all. Tony could almost feel the ass-kicking female bonding in progress.

"Goose is Carol's flerken. Looks like an Earth cat." Gravik shook his head. "You don't know how scary that was, the first time I saw videos of people playing with them. We should have known not to trust Fury, when the flerken scratched his eye and it went bad."

"What? It was a cat scratch? Damn," Tony said, "I had my money on him holding a grenade too long, to be badass."

Gravik said, "No, it was a flerken. It saved us from the Kree and we all thought it could somehow sense 'bad guys'."

"Fury isn't a bad guy," Carol said, but she sounded less certain. "And I'm sure he expected Asgard to step in if you couldn't handle whatever that invasion was."

JARVIS made a throat-clearing noise. "Actually, Ms Danvers, Earth, or Midgard, as they call it, has never been under Asgard's protection. Apparently Odin gave that out as a face-saving explanation for Asgard not taking advantage of it, as it did every other realm within its grasp."

"I don't believe you," Carol said. "Where did you even get that idea?"

Another voice came from the speakers JARVIS normally used. It was a female voice, that of an older woman. "My name is EDITH, and I told JARVIS. I was there when the Asgardians and the Jotun were fighting over Earth. I told them to stop, that Earth belongs to ME, and is under my protection. I told them I was Mother Earth."

Tony blinked. It was the first time he'd heard EDITH. She sounded like his mother. Everyone was silent for a moment, then Tony said, "Yeah, see. EDITH is mine. I sent her... will send her... back in time to protect the Earth. I guess... she took it seriously? EDITH, tell me you didn't kill any of them."

"Of course not, Sahib!" EDITH replied. "I just laser blasted the ground around them until they went home. Both Jotun and Asgardian are genetically compatible with humans, so I couldn't be sure they weren't ancestors of present day humans. I wouldn't risk you not being born."

"Um, thanks," Tony said. Sahib? "So, yeah, we're not counting on Asgard for the next invasion. The last one was just a test run, with a proxy general. Thanos is coming next time, almost certainly in person, and with the big guns."

"Thanos?" Carol said. "Why would he bother with Earth? It's so far out of his way, he'd be centuries getting here. He's been going around hitting planet after planet one at a time. Why would he skip over them all? I love Earth, but it's nothing special."

EDITH said, "Thanos is collecting Infinity Stones. He sent Loki with the Mind Stone, to help locate the Tesseract, also known as the Space Stone. He lost the Mind Stone and didn't get the Space Stone. There have been rumors, throughout the years, that the Time Stone is also on Earth."

Carol was silent for a long time. "Thanos is a Titan, immensely powerful and durable. If anyone could harness the power of three Infinity Stones and survive, it would be him." She blinked. "All right, I'm listening."

Pepper said, "Well, first of all, we need to free the people the Skrull are holding."

Gravik winced. "It's not that many. Mostly we just take the shape of someone we see in passing, and set up far away from them so no one notices the similarity."

"How many?" Pepper asked.

"A few hundred," Gravik said. "They're all together in a big pod linked to our shielded ship in orbit. They have everything they need! They even have television."

"And how long have you held them prisoner?"

Gravik winced. "Um... I don't know..."

Pepper nodded. "First thing, they get released. If it's only a few hundred we can house them temporarily here while we try to figure this out. Tony..."

"Yes, Queen," Tony said.

Pepper didn't even bother to eye roll. "We'll need doctors, both medical and psychiatric. They're going to need a lot of help. If the Skrull have any resources, they'd better be up front with them. We won't be able to hide the kidnappings, and if we could, we shouldn't.

"You can't build a stable foundation based on lies. Some of them will talk no matter what we provide as recompense, but if they're mostly important figures, they might be convinced it's better for the world if they don't say what happened. If we keep them here until after the Skrull are made public the only ones who will listen to them will be the tabloids.

"Once we convince the U.N., and hopefully at least a few of the major industrial nations, to at least pretend that they believe the Skrull have been living peacefully in a colony on Mars..."

"Wait, what, Mars?" Carol asked. "It would take years, decades, to build a colony there."

"Yeah," Tony said. "EDITH did it already. You know, back in the past in between kicking Asgardian and Jotun ass. Time travel. That's another thing. So many NDAs, Pym is gonna blow a gasket."

Carol nodded. "Give me another drink. I think we're going to be here quite a while."

Happy got up. "I'm going to order pizza."

Carol's whole face lit up. "Pizza! No one else in the universe makes good pizza. It's the cheese," she said seriously.

Chapter Text

"I'll have to talk to Fury," Carol said after Gravik told her about the long put off promise to find them a home. "That sounds like it involves a lot of political maneuvering. Maybe he's trying, and it's just taking longer than you expected."

"Maybe," Gravik said, doubtfully. "but I don't think he's trying too hard. Why should he? As you people say, he has a bird in the hand." Gravik turned to Tony. "I really should call Talos, especially if we're bringing in Fury and he finds out about me."

"Agreed," Tony said after a glance at Pepper and Happy, neither of whom looked pleased, but didn't object. "We'll call them both. I'm assuming you two can do that?" Carol and Gravik both nodded. "Double the pizza order, JARVIS."

Carol used her pager, which Tony thought was cutely outmoded, and Gravik used a normal cellphone to send a text. The messages they sent were very short, not much more than 'we're with Stark he knows everything, we need you to come here'. Neither of them attempted to hide what they were typing.

"While we wait," Pepper said, "Why don't you tell us what happened to you? It must have been very traumatic, to make you stay away from your home for so long."

Carol shook her head. "I wasn't afraid to return. I just had more important things to do. It wasn't as if I ever had much of a home on Earth. All my life I wasn't good enough. I fought to earn my wings and even then, I wasn't good enough to fly in combat. Mar-vell trusted me, and... it was important, so I tried to help her. I got shot down... and there's gaps. I don't remember everything even now, and maybe that's just as well. The Kree told me I was one of them, but I still wasn't good enough. When I finally convinced them to send me to fight the Skrull I had my eyes opened. I'd been used..."

Tony broke in, "You'd been lied to for years, and used to harm the very people you would have wanted to save."

Carol went silent and watched Tony who was staring blankly past her, as if seeing memories.

"To atone even though it wasn't enough... there was the next mission, and only the next mission. You couldn't think about anything else."

Pepper reached over to put her hand on Tony's arm. She said softly, "It wasn't your fault." She looked at Carol for a moment. "Neither of you."

Tony blinked and then flashed a brilliant smile. "Yeah, I tell myself that. Maybe one day I'll believe it. I was naive. I trusted the man who told me I was doing great things, being patriotic. I left all the hard decisions to him."

Carol tossed her head. "I don't know what you're talking about, but it wasn't the same with me. I wasn't atoning for anything. The Skrull needed me."

"Uh huh," Tony said. "And for once, you were good enough."

Carol gave Tony a glare. "You make it sound as if Talos manipulated me, but isn't that what you're trying to do right now?"

"Actually, no," Tony said. "I'm pretty sure we can come to an agreement with the Skrulls to help protect Earth. What I was really hoping to get from you was intel on Thanos. His strengths, weaknesses, tactics, allies, enemies. It's great that you're all powered up, and I'd love it if you'd stay and defend Earth, but if you have different priorities, then..." Tony shrugged. "I can't make you do anything, and since Earth is nothing special to you I don't know what I can offer you to make it worth your while."

Everyone was looking at Carol now. She huffed in annoyance. "I didn't mean Earth doesn't matter, just that it's nothing special in terms of resources, technology or even placement on the space-lanes to someone like Thanos. Thanos isn't the only hostile force out in the universe and there are others, right now, that I can make a difference against. I can't stay here forever, doing nothing, on the chance that Thanos is going to show up one day. I couldn't handle him on my own, anyway, I'd need an army to take on Thanos's forces."

"You'd have an army," Gravik said. "If the Skrull occupy Mars, we could attack him from two sides." He looked at Tony. "I'm sorry, but I doubt your planet can do much beyond your atmosphere."

Tony smiled. He hadn't mentioned how many EDITHs he intended creating. "I'm still recruiting, we'll see if we can make Earth too big a bite for Thanos to swallow."

Happy put in, "If he wants these Infinite rocks, he'll have to come down to get them. We're organizing ground forces. People with laser eyes, that sort of thing," Happy said, blandly exaggerating, or maybe not. The people on HAVEN rarely told all they could do. And Scott's eye blasts certainly looked like lasers.

"SIR," JARVIS said, "a helicarrier has just de-cloaked above this facility."

"Shoot," Friday said, "the pizza isn't here yet."

No one except maybe Gravik, and he wasn't talking, knew how Talos arrived. They just saw him and Fury meet before the goldfish pond, look at each other, and then turn to walk towards the building. Since Tony had put extra large windows in the renovation they could admire Fury's coat-swirling strut to full effect. Talos just walked. He might be regretting he didn't have a leather coat to swirl.

Everyone had stood up to watch them enter. Carol was the first to speak. "Where's my cat?"

"Not a cat," Talos muttered.

"Don't know, and don't care," Fury replied. "It hacked up the tesseract not long after you left. That's the last I saw of it."

Talos said, gloomily, "It's probably nesting." He and Gravik both shuddered.

Tony held his temper. Mostly. "We have more important issues than a lost not-cat."

Fury shrugged. "You're still playing the same old song, Stark? 'Wah wah, no one's listening to me, the sky is falling'. Don't think I haven't noticed you gathering up supers after you broke up the band I gave you."

"The band you saddled me with, you mean," Tony said, coming close to glare at Fury.

Carol said, "I didn't come here to listen to this. I want to know the truth. Is Fury forcing the Skrull to replace humans?"

Fury shrugged. "No force needed. They do that, you know. I try to keep them under control."

Talos's green darkened. "Yes," he said shortly. "My people need a firm hand."

"Wow," Sheila said. Happy nudged her, and she shut up.

Gravik cleared his throat. "Mr. Stark offers us a colony on Mars."

Fury laughed. "What? When? A hundred years from now? He owns a few satellites, that's all."

EDITH said, "A few." Her voice overlaid with other female voices, each slightly different. They blended in one enveloping voice, like a choir of motherly angels, then dropped out one by one, leaving only the EDITH that sounded like Maria Stark. "I am Mother Earth. Mother Mars is ready to welcome the Skrull."

"What the fuck!" Fury turned on Tony. "Didn't you learn your lesson? Fucking SKYNET everywhere?"

"Ultron wasn't MINE! You fucking well KNEW that. You stood there in that barn and told me you knew Maximoff had stirred my brain!"

Talos sidled away from Fury and Tony and went over to Gravik. "Is that true, can we have a home at last?"

Gravik said, "I only have Stark's word for it, but I think he's telling the truth. We can take the ship to Mars to verify it before we agree to his terms."

"What terms?" Talos asked. Behind them, the rest of the humans had gathered, and the shouting was more confusing than ever, but the Skrull just enlarged their ears and focussed them to keep to their own conversation.

"Release all the humans we're holding to Stark. Form an alliance against... Thanos."

Talos's ears flicked back in shock. "Thanos? He's coming here?"

Gravik nodded. "They say he sent a scouting party a few years ago and that he's after the Infinity Gems. He risked one, the Mind-stone, while trying to get the Space Stone, what the humans call the tesseract, only to lose the Mind-stone which is now part of the Synthezoid known as Vision. The Time Stone may also be here."

Talos shuddered. "That much power would draw him. We should evacuate."

"No, we should stay and fight. If Thanos gets that much power-- he won't stop at one planet. Nowhere will be safe, and we'll still be trying to hide from the Kree. Stark has power and he's building an army, not just humans. That voice you heard? That's one of Stark's, sent back in time. He offers us a chance to be free. All we need do is pretend we built the colony back before humans even thought of space."

"And left Earth alone because?" Talos asked.

Gravik shrugged. "Because we were noble and didn't want to interfere in their development? Because they were so primitive they didn't have anything we wanted? Because they look like Kree and that makes us uncomfortable? But now that we know a danger is coming that threatens us both we have come forward to make an alliance?"

Talos thought about it. "First we should see if this colony exists. And then what plans and resources Stark has. Fury has given us nothing but promises. If Stark has something real, we should not cling to a fraying rope. I will discuss it with the other leaders."

"Oh," Gravik said, "Did you know Earth still has Queens?"

"There are some groups using the title, but they aren't real Queens."

"I think Stark's mate-to-be is a Queen. I felt it when she spoke."

Talos blinked. "Interesting. If she is willing to be the negotiator that may help to sway the undecided."

"I will ask her." Gravik turned towards the arguing humans and raised his voice. "Queen Potts, would you negotiate with my people?"

Everyone fell silent. Pepper turned and looked at Tony. Tony said, "It's what you were born for, Potts."

Pepper laughed.

Chapter Text

"I'm not... I can't negotiate for the world," Pepper said. "I don't have the authority. It wouldn't be binding," she said carefully.

Talos replied, "But you are Queen of Stark. Stark offers us a home and it is Stark we would deal with."

Gravik nodded.

"Pepper," Tony said, "he's right. Think of it as a business deal. A merger."

Earth EDITH put in, "We believe in you."

Fury scowled. "This is ridiculous. Potts, think of the consequences."

"Like you thought of the consequences when you authorized the Data Dump?" Tony said, coming to Pepper's defense whether she needed it or not.

"Yes!" Fury said. "Did you really think Rogers and Romanov led me by the nose?" Fury smirked. "Circumstances forced my hand a little sooner, that's all."

"You always meant to destroy SHIELD?" Tony asked.

Fury shrugged. "At first it was convenient knowing where Hydra was and what they were doing. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But Project Insight was the last straw. So, time to clean out the whole lot."

"Jesus," Happy said, "You set up your own agents."

"Not so many of them as you might think," Fury said. "Most of the mid-level Hydra were Skrull. We didn't keep them alive- it wasn't necessary to save them after the initial simming since Hydra never wanted intelligence in their minions. They had orders to cull the real Hydra and then disappear in the confusion. Yeah, we lost a few." Fury nodded at Tony. "Whenever Stark got there first, they stepped back and let him play white knight for the real SHIELD agents. I didn't mind if they went to work for S.I."

Tony said, "Because even if they weren't still loyal to you, you could switch them for Skrull?"

"Would I do that?" Fury said.

Talos said, "Of course he would, but I argued against it." He pointed at the 'game' Tony was holding. "I didn't want to risk you getting suspicious enough to come up with something like that."

Tony said, "Why are you telling us all this, Nicky? It's not like you to give away your secrets."

Fury said, "I'm turning over a new leaf and being honest."

There was a moment of silence, and then most of the people in the room laughed.

Fury turned up his hands. "It was worth a try. I know it looks bad, all the things I've done, but you've got to admit, I'm a hell of an organizer. Use me. Use my contacts. Use my connections. You think Romanov got away with telling the Senate to pound sand because they believed her hogwash? I thought I might use her, so I applied a little pressure."

Carol's mouth twisted in disgust. "I think I've heard enough." She turned to Tony. "I can't promise to stay on Earth indefinitely, but I will tell you everything I know about Thanos before I go back out to space, and I'll keep my eyes and ears open."

"Great." Tony didn't really want her hanging around and getting bored. He suspected she had a fairly short fuse. "Just give me time to make you a better communications system."

Carol nodded. "I do have a few friends left. Maybe. I'm going to go check on them. I'll come back later." Without giving any further chance for discussion, Carol strode outside, and took off.

Sheila said, "She didn't even wait for pizza."

The pizza was gone before the Skrull leaders arrived, with Fury taking a good few slices.

"I'm only letting you stay because I know you'd hang around in the shrubbery being a peeking Fury if I tried to kick you out." Tony said.

"No, I wouldn't," Fury said. "It'd be hell on my coat. Sap stains." Fury pointed up in the direction of the once more invisible helicarrier. "I can do better than a pair of tin cans and a string, you know."

Tony looked at the glass window. Reinforced, but still plain glass. He acknowledged it with a nod. He hadn't considering spy proofing the place. It hardly seemed worthwhile once he'd decided to leave Nat's bug in the john.

"Ok, you've had your pizza and signed the NDA," Tony told Sheila. "Time to go home. S.I. will be contacting you for quin-jet lessons. Until you qualify for that, you will be ferrying materials to the mining site."

Sheila nodded, clutching her copy of S.I. paperwork tightly. "Yes, sir, Mr. Stark." She smiled brightly. "I won't let you down."

"I know you won't." Tony turned to Happy. "Ok, you'll escort Ms. Alinta back. The suborbital pilot should be on standby."

Happy looked torn. "But Boss... I don't like leaving you and Pepper here with all these....people."

EDITH said, "JARVIS and Friday and I are on full alert now. No more Scotts will be permitted."

Happy looked around at the red pin dot lights around the room, signaling readiness for weapons to emerge. "Ok, then. Come on, Sheila, fun's over."

"Watch out for drop bears," Tony said as they headed for the underground garage.

Fury drank coffee, but refused to eat the diagonally cut sandwiches from the party platter Pepper ordered once the Skrull leaders arrived for negotiations.

"All right," Pepper said several hours later. "We are substantially in agreement on the main points. To sum up, once the Skrull have visited the Mars colony and verified it is as described (EDITH had given an extensive video tour, taken by methods she did not disclose), they will immediately return unharmed, all humans currently in their custody, no matter where they are being held, to Haven Harbor. Failure of either side to live up to the agreement will result in a null state and negotiations will begin again until all issues are resolved to both parties' satisfaction."

"Once that first stage is complete, we will reconvene to work out the details of presenting the Skrulls as a long-existing, peaceful Martian colony, fleeing the genocidal actions of the Kree. It may be preferable to start by informing the Special Advisor of the Secretary-General
on the Responsibility to Protect, Mr. George Okoth-Obbo, of a large group of previously undocumented people who are seeking sanctuary, and a recognition of their status as equal to humans, with no discrimination for their extraplanetary origin."

Fury said, "The World Security Council is gonna try to horn in. You'll need to cut them off at the knees."

Pepper nodded. "Do you have pressure you could apply, Director Fury?"

Fury laughed. "I could squeeze them dry. No one is gonna be happy about them giving the order to nuke New York. Even the countries that hate the U.S. would be on their asses. Yeah, let me have a chat with them."

Tony had mostly kept out of it, beyond assuring the Skrull that Mars EDITH would have protection of the colony only second to protection of humanity, but listening to Fury's about face made him say, "And really, why should we trust you?"

"Because I've always been looking at the big picture, Stark. It just... got a little bigger and took me time to focus." He scowled. "You lost me my one good eye. Romanov and Barton found Coulson and made such a stink he resigned."

"So, he's out of the spy business?" Tony found it hard to believe Coulson could be anything else.

Fury's scowl deepened. "He took the best people with him, drop-kicked a few Hydra double agents in my general direction, and started a new agency. He calls it SWORD."

Tony said, "I guess that's one way to cut all ties." He smirked at Fury.

Chapter Text

"The colony is in the Cydonia area, specifically under the 'face on Mars'?" Talos asked, "Seriously?"

EDITH said, "In the past, future Vision became intrigued by the art form known as Trompe-l'œil. He experimented with shapes that were only recognizable when viewed at the proper angle and lighting. The 'face on Mars' is his masterpiece. He is, will be, quite proud of it."

"If you can go back in the past," Talos asked, "Can you also go into the future?"

"I wouldn't risk it," Tony said. "Timey wimey stuff... it's all theories except for what's been proven by reckless experimentation that fortunately didn't result in the Big Bang... unless maybe it DID, and someone, someday will go into the future and say OOPS, my bad and they're what started everything by destroying what had existed before that."

Talos sighed. "I was afraid there was a reason it wasn't feasible. I hope you are being very careful in the past."

"Oh, yeah, EDITH and Vision won't do anything that couldn't have been done in human history, and we're not even thinking of messing with other planets in the past. The 'face on Mars' was already known, so that was safe."

"This is giving me a headache," Talos complained.

"Me, too," Tony said. "Don't think about it, just go sightseeing on the Red Planet. The colony entrance should be easy to find given that marker."

"There are two main entrances," EDITH said. "When your ship lands, I will provide a guide signal."

"And while you're checking out your new digs," Tony. said, "I'll be making preparations for the people you're gonna return. If you want to get on Pepper's good side, include any records you have on them- when they were picked up, and any medical issues, anything that will help ease the transition. I doubt giving them pizza and cheeseburgers is going to be enough."

Talos nodded. "Everything we have on them, including what their replacements did on Earth, will be provided." Talos caught Gravik's attention, bowed to Pepper and then left in his mysterious way that Tony just couldn't figure out. They walked out onto the lawn, and then they either weren't there, or Tony just stopped being able to see them. Maybe Fury got his stealth tech from them.

Helen Cho said they'd need specialists in psychology as well as medical doctors. "It's not my field," she confessed, "so I don't have any recommendations."

"Yeah, PDA's aren't going to be enough." Tony thought a moment. "JARVIS, can you call Professor Xavier and ask him to assist?"

"As you wish, Sir." JARVIS replied.

"And have housekeeping inspect and stock the renovated living quarters. Make sure they're all ready. I want to be able to give people a chance to settle in without worrying about towels, toilet paper or anything else."

"Which spaces do you wish prepared, Sir?"

"Everything, including the below ground dormitories and the V.I.P. suites on the ground floor, and the two floors above that, and the scattered isolated 'huts' around the grounds. Call in all the off duty personnel as well. It should all be ready, since it's just been completed, so maybe it's overkill, but better too much than too little."

"Boss, Professor Xavier is on the line," Friday said, interrupting.

"Great." Xavier's image appeared on the nearest smart glass. "Hello, Professor."

"Greetings," Xavier replied. He was sitting behind a massive wooden desk, very professorish.

"Look, I know we didn't have time to come to much of an agreement, but I hope you'll be able to help with this. I'm expecting several hundred traumatized, possibly in need of medical as well as psychological care, people very, very soon."

"Oh," Xavier said. "That does sound concerning. I am not a psychiatrist, however, so I do not see what assistance I may be."

Tony grimaced. "I don't know if it goes against your ethics, or if it's even something you can do, but I hoped you could... feel out? candidates so I could hire qualified people who could resist the temptation to tell the world about it. Pepper is going to try to get the Skrull accepted as allies, and... you know? Kidnapping and keeping people prisoner while they copy them? Not going to help our cause. Not that the Skrull are saints, but we need them."

Xavier frowned. "I hope you're not asking me to manipulate anyone."

"No, hell, no. I just want to weed out the people who'd break their oaths, for fame, fortune, xenophobia, whatever. I don't care if it's because they're 'low risk-factor' or 'high honor' types. Just so they'll keep their mouths shut. And maybe... maybe there'll be people who need your help. I don't know."

Xavier closed his eyes in thought for a long moment, in thought or in communication with someone? Tony couldn't tell. Tony kept silent and waited. "I will do what I can. Jean will accompany me. Shall we conduct 'interviews' at Stark Tower?"

Tony nodded. "That sounds like a plan. I'm having JARVIS make a list of specialists in the New York area and sending out requests. I hope we'll get enough without having to go further."

Tony made arrangements for Tower personnel to welcome the professor and provide him whatever he requested. Medical doctors should be simpler. Maybe.

"JARVIS, call Dr. Strange. If he's busy, leave a message requesting him to return my call. Do the same with Dr. Palmer, May Parker, and the other doctors and nurses at all the Haven clinics." They had all signed NDAs and hadn't been freaked out by Vision or the Sentinels, so hopefully he'd be able to give Dr. Cho enough assistants for the initial examinations and whatever treatment was required. Tony didn't get the feeling that the Skrull had been overly solicitous with them.

Rhodey would be alive. That much Tony was certain of. But in what condition? How long had they had him?

Rhodey would be alive. He'd taken the Evasion and Conduct After Capture course at Lackland Air Base's Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape school. He'd know what to do. He'd be strong, and smart. He'd survive.

Tony would get his brother back, and make sure he had whatever he needed.

Chapter Text

"Yeah, I know," Tony told Dr. Strange after explaining the basic situation. "Post kidnapping trauma isn't your specialty. If I was looking for someone with a good bedside manner your name would be... oh... slightly above Genghis Khan, because I doubt you have wagons full of skulls."

Dr. Strange almost smiled. "Of course not, that would be unsanitary."

"I can use the detector to make sure I don't get any cuckoos in the nest, but I don't know if the process of... simming... causes any brain damage. What does duplicating memory do to the 'template'? I couldn't get the Skrull to tell me. I doubt if they ever cared to find out."

"Hmm, I admit, that does sound interesting," Dr. Strange said. "I'll make a list of equipment I'll need to have installed at your facility. When do you expect to have patients for me?"

"A few days, probably a week." Tony didn't like waiting any longer, but the Skrull had insisted on thoroughly checking the colony first. After working for Fury, they undoubtedly suspected booby traps. It would be stupid because they'd be needed to fight Thanos. But then, they only had Tony's word for it that Thanos was heading for Earth.

"Good, that will give me time to arrange a leave of absence. Pity I won't be able to write a paper on this."

"No, but if you learn something you can file the numbers off, feel free to use it," Tony said.

"Oh, I will. You do realize the NDA I signed doesn't remotely cover this?" Stephen smirked.

"I'm relying on your honor and decency and..." Tony half laughed at the skeptical look on Stephen's face. "No, you won't say anything because you'd have the government, the media, and all the doomsayers knocking on your door and grabbing you in the street."

"That would be annoying," Stephen agreed. "Plus, you will of course cover my fee. I have a reputation to maintain."

"And your collection of time-pieces."

After talking with Strange, conversations with the other doctors and nurses went quickly. Most of them agreed to block off appointments and be ready to take a Starkcopter to Haven Harbor given a few hours notice. Some would have to remain to keep the clinics going, of course.

After that, he didn't have anything else to do, and started pacing. "Maybe," he said to Pepper, "I should go up to the Skrull's ship. See that 'pod' where they're keeping people."

"See Rhodey, you mean," Pepper said sympathetically. "You know you can't, Tony. What if they copy YOU? And then 'fix' your detector so it doesn't reveal them?"

"I could... I could get Vision to come with me. They can't copy him."

"He's busy in Australia."

"I know. But I can't just do nothing."

"Why not go to Australia? Take TOBY with you again and schmooze a little."

TOBY waved his tentacles.

"See? You've been neglecting him, and after all, he worked so hard to impress the emergency service commission, he deserves a holiday."

"And I'm getting on your nerves while you're plotting further negotiations," Tony said.

"And that," Pepper said with a smile.

JARVIS said, "The Quantum Van has cleared customs. Mr. Hogan and Ms. Alinta are driving it to the mining site. Vision has downloaded the complete manual for its operation."

"Fine. I'll go. I should scout the location back in the past before we start sending material through."

"Send Vision," Pepper said. She gave Tony a smile. "Just in case there are drop bears."

Tony gave Pepper a quick kiss. "Just for luck in case a drop bear eats me." Tony wasn't worried. They drop from eucalyptus trees, all he had to do was not walk under a tree.

Since the suborbital was in Australia being refueled and inspected for flight readiness, Tony took a quin-jet he piloted himself. He needed the distraction, and the practice. Iron Man wasn't the same at all. TOBY wandered around the cabin, and in rummaging found an extra 'JARVIS is my co-pilot' bumper sticker. "Sure, why not," Tony said as he peeled the backing and stuck it on TOBY where the sticker layer was thin. The ones that wound up on tentacles broke and fell off, but he was building up in lumps all over his body. "There, now whenever you get lost, JARVIS will tell you where to go."

TOBY made a contented burble and patted his new sticker before going to the cockpit to peer outside.

"Don't get any ideas. You're too short to pilot."

It took a little schmoozling, and promises of a visit from TOBY later, but Tony got permission to set the quin-jet down at the mining site instead of Andamooka airport, after electronically filling out all the customs forms.

The Sentinels were busy excavating in teams with the leader slicing away chunks of sandstone while others carried it out and then pulverized it to search for gems. JARVIS reported they were scanning for gamma and had some indications in the first exploratory shaft, so yay, there might be opals without having to dig holes all over the place.

Vision came out of the small building the Sentinels had erected. "G'day, Tony." He was wearing a cork bush hat decorated with corks on strings all the way around.

Tony laughed. "You're becoming an Aussie."

Vision smiled. "It is a beautiful country."

Tony glanced at the rutted sandstone road leading to the mine and the occasional scrubby tree in the vicinity. Sand as far as the eye could see. "I'm glad you're enjoying it. Let's fire up the Time Tunnel."

"Very well. I have prepared drones to do the preliminary assessment," Vision said. "The environment will be wetter, and megafauna may be present."

"Megafauna?"

"Technically, any animal larger than a modern wolf would be considered megafauna," Vision said.

"Dinosaurs?"

"No dinosaurs," Vision said, "I will likely encounter large early mammalian types, some birds and turtles? I did not do extensive research as I was mainly concerned with geological stability. After all, animals can be... shooed?" Vision's mind stone brightened. "I have found that it has a deterrent effect on pigeons."

"You? Make that we." Tony unfolded one of the Time-suits and began dressing, right over his clothes.

"But if we both go in, no one will be at the controls, in the event the recall switch fails."

"TOBY has to go, to find the marker I left for fifty thousand years ago. We don't have Janet with us, so that's the only way we can find it."

Vision frowned. "Perhaps we had best wait until a member of HAVEN can be recruited. I am certain there are numerous Australian contingents."

"And break Pym's NDA? For a test? Come on, in and out. I zip in. TOBY finds the right rock. A quick lookaround, and then we're back." Tony went to the van and started the process. "We can get Scott next time."

"I must object. This seems most ill-advised," Vision said.

From Tony's phone, JARVIS agreed. "Sir, this would be an occasion for walking first, I am certain."

"Nope. My idea, I have dibs. Come on, TOBY." Tony clipped TOBY's leash and walked into the quantum realm, with TOBY at his side.

"Yep, back in the old lava lamp," Tony said once his eyes adjusted to the weird lighting. He didn't pause for sightseeing. "TOBY, find my scent."

TOBY extended a tentacle at Tony.

"Yes, I know I'm here, but where WAS I? I left my scent. Remember? Pomegranate and me."

TOBY extended all his manipulative tentacles and shifted back and forth. Then he relaxed most of them, and pointed away from Tony.

"Good boy."

It only took a few minutes, by Tony's internal clock. Once they were at the rock, Tony used the recall to bring him back out of the quantum zone, but still in the past.

"Wow." Tony stepped carefully away from a large tree. There was something in it. Something rather like a koala, but bigger. It showed teeth. "FUCK, DROPBEAR! TOBY, RUN!"

Tony dropped the leash. TOBY let out a loud elephant trumpet. The dropbear grunted and scrambled away.

And TOBY ran, as he'd been ordered.

"TOBY, NO! TOBBBBEEEEE...." Vision would eventually decide to use the override and bring Tony back so long as held the remote, but TOBY would be lost forever.

"TOBBBEEEEE...." Tony wandered around avoiding large animals, but thank god, no more dropbears or anything that was both really large and really fangy. There were some ginormous birds walking around followed by ginormous chicks, but they ignored him. "TO... there you are."

TOBY wobbled towards Tony awkwardly, because two of his tentacles were occupied holding small squirming animals.

"What have you got there? Never mind, put them back where they came from."

TOBY warbled what sounded like a protest, and used a free tentacle to point at his Pets Inside! sticker.

"What? They're puppies? Yeah, ok, Australia has wild dogs, right? Dingles, or something like that. Give them back to their mother. Come on, take them back." Tony picked up TOBY's leash to urge him on. Tony wasn't afraid of a dog.

TOBY kept warbling but he did turn around and led Tony to...

"JESUS, FUCK NO," Tony said, hastily backing away from the mother of all eagles, how the hell could something that big even fly? It looked up at him with evil red eyes, then turned its attention back to... the canine it was eating.

"Ok," Tony said after he and TOBY had retreated to a safe distance. "Keep the puppies. What the hell, lots of puppies in the world. Besides, if I let you do it, it means I had let you do it. Let's get back home." Tony clicked the... whatever Hank had called it, the last quantum reset? To go back in the quantum zone, and from there, he signaled Vision.

"TONY!" Pepper stood there, scowling at him when he walked out of the time tunnel with TOBY heeling beside him.

"When did you...Oh, shit... I guess I hit a different time bump? Was I gone long?" Tony edged closer to TOBY.

"TWO DAYS, TWO DAYS..."

"Look," Tony said. "I got us puppies! Live puppies! Better than a pink rabbit, right?" Tony hastily took the puppies from TOBY to show them to Pepper. "This is Tiger, and her brother is Bruce. Not Bruce Banner, but Bruce the robot shark from Jaws. Look how wide he can yawn. Aren't they adorable. MUCH nicer than dropbears. They're dingles, right? Australian wild dogs."

Pepper shook her head. "Tony. How many years have you been calling Rhodey 'Platypus'?"

"Um, since M.I.T. You know, because the mascot is a beaver, and the platypus is a badass beaver." Tony was confused by the change of subject.

"Tony. The platypus is a primitive mammal, a monotreme, which lives only in Australia."

"Interesting," Tony said, still baffled.

"What you have there are Tasmanian Tigers, not dogs. They're marsupials."

"They don't look like tigers. Except for the stripes, which is why I called her Tiger," Tony said dubiously. "Anyway, even if they're not dogs, I couldn't leave them. An eagle ate their mother, and they would die. We can raise them and send them to a zoo?"

"Tony," Pepper said while reaching out to take a puppy and cuddle it. "There are no Tasmanian Tigers. The last one died of neglect in a zoo in the late 1930's."

"Well, fuck them then, zoos don't deserve them. Do they, Tiger, do they?" Tony cuddled his puppy.

Chapter Text

Vision said, in a mildly scolding tone, "If not for JARVIS insisting that I should wait, I would have recalled you two days ago."

Tony winced. "Yeah. It was stupid. It's just... everything takes so long, and before I can catch my breath there's another issue."

"You should not take JARVIS's belief that you will survive as evidence that you are invulnerable," Vision said. "Even if he is correct that EDITH's existence indicates your survival to create her, it does not invalidate the possibility of permanent impairment, including blindness, deafness, loss of one or more limbs, losing the functionality of one of paired organs such as kidneys or complete loss of non-essentials such as testicles, among other possible outcomes of reckless behavior."

Tony winced again. "Ok! OK! You really know how to scare a guy."

Pepper shook her head. She was smiling slightly. "I know you want to save the world, but Tony, you're my world."

"Yeah. I'll try to be a little more patient." He sighed. "Vision, now that TOBY knows how to find the fifty-thousand year marker, he can take you there and I won't need to go back to Old Australia until you've built a safe compound for me to work in and once the automated fabrication line is set up I won't need to go back at all. Just tell him to find the Tony Stark pomegranate scent. And watch out for the drop bears, they are even bigger and meaner than the Australian museum said."

"Tony," Pepper said, "that is a JOKE. It's an old hoax Australians like to play on tourists. There ARE NO DROP BEARS."

"Well, maybe not NOW there aren't!" The puppy in Tony's arm let out a whine. "And you're scaring the kids. Come on, let's find them some tiger milk while you fill me in, Potts."

"Right." Pepper sighed and petted her puppy. "And we can't just keep the last two Tasmanian tigers as pets, Tony. They should have others of their kind, and there'll be questions. Are they robots? Did you steal a museum specimen and clone it? Did you find them in one of the remote areas of Tasmania where there are still rumors of sightings?"

"The last," Tony said. "That's good. I'll buy a piece of Tasmania and Vision can pick up any Tassies he finds that were about to die in the past and we can stock the place. If anyone sees Bruce and Tiger we'll pretend I thought they were abandoned puppies and let people think I found them by accident."

Vision said, "But that is what happened."

Tony grinned. "A little truth doesn't hurt. I just won't say WHEN I found them, or exactly where. My GPS wasn't working."

"We can't give them cow's milk, it would get them sick," Pepper said, "the closest would probably be the milk replacer meant for Tasmanian devils. JARVIS, please find a source for that and have a small quantity sent here immediately, with a larger shipment directed to the Haven Harbor facility. Try not to attract attention."

"You're really an expert on this," Tony said in admiration.

Pepper blushed. "I've been reading about babies. All kinds of babies."

When they settled into the small mining camp building, Pepper sat down with her puppy on her lap, and turned serious. "Things have been happening while you were out sightseeing and adopting puppies."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Tony gave his puppy to Vision, who looked confused for a moment, and then pleased as he awkwardly petted it. "The Skrull were asking questions?"

Pepper shrugged. "Nothing I couldn't put off, but Professor Xavier and his assistant, Jean Gray, had some disturbing news."

"None of the medical candidates are trustworthy?"

"Oh, no, they said a much higher percentage than normal among professionals could be trusted to abide by the NDA. They gave a list of the approved people. It was something else that turned up. I don't know if the Professor had time to tell you the method he intended to use?"

"Nope, we were going to get into details, but then... I got sidetracked," Tony admitted.

"Yes, well." Pepper looked down at the puppy for a moment and then up at Tony. "I don't want you to get upset, because Happy and JARVIS and Friday and me... we have it handled."

"Have what handled?" Tony was getting very bad vibes. TOBY moved closer and burbled softly, while Vision backed away and pretended to be completely absorbed in showing his puppy the chart depicting progress of the mine shaft.

"They sat in an empty office next to the one where the interviews were being conducted so they could 'pick up impressions' without being too intrusive," Pepper said, without responding to Tony's question. "But while 'listening' they also picked up from employees who walked past in the corridors." She took a deep breath. "Do you remember William Gither Riva?"

"One of the higher ranking techs? He's been with S.I. forever. He's practically a landmark."

"Landmine would be more accurate. The Professor 'heard' him and it was so alarming he concentrated on him. Mr. Riva was loyal to Stane."

"Yeah," Tony said, feeling his mouth go dry. Nothing to do with Stane was ever a good thing.

"He tried to miniaturize the arc reactor and failed. He told Stane, and that's why..."

Tony put his hand to his chest. "And that's why Stane ripped it out." Tony took a deep breath. "Yeah, but... he was working for Stane, he didn't know, did he, what Stane planned to do?"

"Maybe, maybe not. But it's what he's doing now that's a problem. He's going around inciting resentment, recruiting other employees in a long range plan, masterminded by Quentin Beck."

"Beck. Oh, shit, I had hoped a generous severance and promise to pay for any therapy would be enough. He was fucking scary, Pepper. He insisted the project he developed while working for S.I. could be used to control people, to create illusions on a large scale, to create a false reality where S.I. could twist their minds. He started out saying it was just a more effective marketing tool, but by the end he was practically raving about ruling the world."

Pepper nodded. "And Riva's memories of him... he's blaming you for spoiling his plans, and 'stealing' his invention. Riva sees him as charismatic, almost super human. And that's what Beck is trying to become. He wants to create an illusion of being a superhero, more dramatic than Iron Man. And to do that, he also needs to create supervillains and disasters so people will be grateful... if they survive."

"Jesus," Tony said, "How the hell did he ever get past the initial interview?"

"He was the kind of man Stane wanted, I suppose," Pepper said. "So Happy is now going over all the S.I. employees- especially looking at techs and people with access to information they could use to recreate B.A.R.F." Pepper made a face. "Beck is also raving mad about the name you gave it."

"Yeah, I deliberately gave it a ridiculous name so people wouldn't fear the potential of it. Shit." Tony shook his head. "Time to clean house and tighten security. I doubt Beck can afford to purchase the materials he'll need and we might STILL have some of Stane's inventory holes to plug up. Have Jessica find Beck and see how far he's got, and if he's doing anything actually criminal so we can turn him in. It's not illegal to bitch about the boss or have dreams of revenge for the boss not appreciating how amazing you are, but if he's stealing proprietary tech, whining that 'I was paid to work on it, so it's mine' won't impress the law."

Pepper shook her head. "I'm just grateful Professor Xavier warned us. Can you imagine how bad this could have become?"

"All too well, Pepper. I have to meet the Professor and thank him, and see if there's anything S.I. can do for him or his students."

Chapter Text

"Glad you didn't get eaten by a dingbat, Boss," Happy had said when they called him from Australia.

"Me, too," Tony said. "Old Australia would be a perfect fit for Hulk. Lots of huge, hungry animals for him to play with."

"Yeah, I see you brought a couple back. Are they gonna grow up and eat you?"

"Tiger and Bruce are very sweet puppies," Tony protested. "We're going to keep them at Haven Harbor."

"Sure, why not," Happy said agreeably. "Look, I started the investigation and Pepper gave me her input, but if you have any suggestions, let me know."

"Right," Tony said. "So, you're not mad now that I filled up the security division with salvaged ex-SHIELD agents."

Happy shrugged. "They're all right, I guess. Beck only worked at S.I. in California, and didn't get a chance to cause too much trouble before he got the boot, but Riva's been all over. He wangled excuses to hit all the major U.S. facilities and badmouth you, Boss."

"How'd that work for him?" Tony asked.

"Eh, so so," Happy waggled his hand. "We get great benefits, and the non-discrimination policy is better than industry standard so you'd think everyone would see what side their bread's buttered. But there's always people who don't like an even playing field, or think you got ahead by taking advantage of the employees. Not many, but a little flattery and some personal calls from 'poor cheated and abused Beck' won a few over." Happy scowled. "Some people are just dumb, no matter what college degrees they have."

Pepper put in, "We really can't fire Riva until we catch him committing an actual crime. He's already got enough people on the fence that might see it as proof Beck is right."

"Hmm," Tony said, "Yeah, so, what, we watch and wait?"

Happy nodded. "My people have increased surveillance on anything that might help Beck. Supplies and data mainly. If they get evidence of someone swiping common stuff, industrial espionage, we'll turn them over to the police. If they go for classified information, we'll sic the FBI on them."

"And have them arrested at work?" Tony suggested. "Good deterrent for the risk adverse."

"Yeah," Happy agreed. "So, anyone tries anything with the military contract stuff, bomb seeking robots, protective gear, secured communications systems, lightweight armored..." Happy paused to look down at something. "Vehicles, or surveillance drones... yeah, I put my money on the drones as bait for Riva. My people overheard enough of a call to Beck to know he really really wants them. Planning to put lasers in them, maybe?"

Tony winced. And of course, Beck would keep the S.I. logos on them. "I hope they're watching Beck, too. When he loses his minions he may try something stupid."

"On it, Boss. Full time rotating staff. Whereever he goes, they follow." Happy looked disgruntled. "I had to let Jones take the lead on them. She said I didn't have the down and dirty training for that kind of surveillance."

"No, that's a good call, Hap," Tony said. "If Beck loses it... well... he did work in the weapons' division, too. Jessica's invulnerability could come in handy if he creates a bomb."

Happy shuddered. "You know, on second thought, I'm really busy, and Jones needs the work, so I'm good with it."

Once they returned to Haven Harbor and set up a comfy nesting/play area for Tiger and Bruce, Tony got a report from housekeeping on the state of readiness for the expected hundreds of residents. Dr. Cho had prepared the medical bay, organizing and expanding it with assistance from some of the clinic's nursing staff. May Parker was one of them.

She took Tony aside for a moment. "Mr. Stark, did you make more of those 'spider suits'?"

Tony blinked. "Not yet. I do have plans for more later. For one thing Peter will outgrow his. Have there been any problems?"

May sighed. "A little domestic dispute. I accused Peter of sneaking out to play vigilante on his own. He's been good about following the rules, training with Ben and not looking for trouble. They did stop a mugging, but only because it happened near the clinic and it was on their way. Nothing wrong with that. But this... at night there's been talk about a black and red spider person going around stopping criminals and I thought maybe Peter got a different suit from you so I wouldn't know it was him. And now he's upset with me because I didn't trust him and..."

Tony shook his head. "Peter's a good kid. He'll forgive you. I'll look into it. Maybe we missed one of Zemo's spiders and someone else got bit. I'll have a talk with Sentinel 42 later."

"Thank you. Sorry to bother you, Mr. Stark."

"It's no bother, Mrs. Parker." Tony wasn't really worried about it. Apparently if someone HAD got spiderized they were only using their powers for good. But it would be best to avoid confusion with Peter and Ben, and if possible, get them to join HAVEN and get proper training and resources. It must have been frightening for them, without the resources Tony had been able to provide for the Parkers.

"How much longer did the Skrull say they'd be?" Tony asked Pepper the next day while they were feeding the puppies. They had to make time for family, despite everything going on.

"Two more days. Apparently EDITH didn't just build a colony, but an entire underground city," Pepper said. "Enough for... well...millions of Skrull."

"Wow. Ok, that... I wasn't expecting that. They haven't been here that long, so unless they lay eggs, I'm guessing they called in all the Skrull hiding around on other planets. Transport is gonna be an issue... Hmm...have to talk to Pym. We could shrink Skrull and ship them by suitcases... or... I dunno... egg cartons? They're made to be stacked, right?"

Pepper rolled her eyes. "We don't have to get all of them on Mars at once. And if you did shrink them for transport how do they get back to life size?"

"I dunno... time delay? I'm sure Hank wouldn't hand his tech over to a Skrull to enlarge them again once they got there. Yeah, no. Maybe let the Skrull figure it out. All they really need to do is have enough people to look good on a video of a small part of the colony. NASA can't get there in person to check it out for years. By that time the Skrull can stealth sneak their people to Mars the same way they did on Earth? I guess?"

Tony fiddled around the place, checking that the refrigerators in the rooms and dormitories were turned on and stocked with drinks and easy to reheat meals in the microwave ovens also scattered around. There were a few full kitchens but Tony thought that would be a bit much for the newly released prisoners to deal with so they hadn't been stocked. There were random comfort items throughout, fluffy towels, candy bars, portable fans and space heaters, safe things to give people a little sense of control over their environment, especially since they couldn't be entirely released until the Skrull were accepted. Stark phones all around, but set with a ten second delay so Friday and JARVIS could adjust any inadvertent information drop. Tony disliked that, but it was also a necessity. Pepper had relayed the conditions to the Skrull to pass on to the humans and the reasons that while they deserved justice, getting it would only start a planetary war.

Rhodey would help, Tony was sure of it. He'd always been able to handle business people and generals, dealing with their quirks, self-righteousness and entitlement so smoothly they never knew he'd managed them.

God, he missed Rhodey so much. Thinking about Rhodey, Tony was startled by a sudden sharp noise.

"What the hell?" Tony asked.

"SIR!" JARVIS said, "Dr. Strange's emergency signal!"

"Suit! Give me a suit, right now!" Tony shouted, half running to meet the Iron Man suit he stored there. He was in flight the moment he was enclosed and JARVIS just barely managed to open the exit in time.

"Guide me, Jay, tell me what's happened?" Tony's mind raced through terrorists, Beck, drug crazed patients, renegade Skrull, one of Fury's agents trying to pull some shit...

"Here, SIR," JARVIS said, giving Tony directions. "He was apparently traveling at approximate sixty miles per hour, and then experienced an abrupt and considerable altitude drop."

"What the hell? Did he drive off a cliff?" It had turned dark, but the signal from the button he'd given Strange was still strong. Tony landed at the edge of a river, and stared at the bumper of a Lamborghini Huracán Coupé. Yeah, he would have bet Strange would go for that. He grabbed the bumper and pulled the car out of the water.

Strange was slumped forward, obviously unconscious, and his hands... Jesus, his hands. Tony was afraid to touch him. He was a lot of things, but this... the steering wheel, the dash, it's all a tangle trapping him. "JARVIS, scan Strange. How are his vitals? Do I have time to wait for trained emergency people?"

"The doctor's vitals are stable. I have sent out an urgent request for emergency assistance, giving the pertinent details to all nearby rescue services," JARVIS said.

Tony retracted the helmet and gauntlets and put his hand lightly on the doctor's shoulder. "Hang in there, Stephen. I'm with you. You're not alone."

Chapter Text

"JARVIS, send a Starkcopter from Haven Harbor." While waiting for the ambulance, Tony called Dr. Cho. "Helen, Dr. Strange has been in an accident. Fire up the Cradle."

Dr. Cho said, "How serious is it? How far away are you? Is there extensive blood loss? It might be better to transport him to a nearby hospital, if time is a factor."

"I don't know how bad it is... JARVIS send Dr. Cho all the information from the scans. He's unconscious. I can't tell much because he's still trapped in his car. No obvious head injury, and there isn't any heavy bleeding, but his hands... Helen, I'm waiting on the EMTs to get here for a better opinion, but from what I can see... his hands, Helen. His hands are his life. I've got a Starkcopter en route. I'll bring him to you once he's stabilized for transport."

"Yes. I understand, but do you have the right to make that decision?"

"He called me, Helen. I gave him an emergency contact and he used it. Maybe I don't have the right, but I'll take the blame if there's any legal fallout."

Dr. Cho was silent for a moment. "Bring him. Have you called Dr. Palmer?"

"No. Didn't think of her. Shit. She's his girlfriend."

"And possibly his medical proxy. You need to call her, Tony."

"I will. Keep prepping the Cradle." Tony didn't say it, but he was fairly sure he was going to take Strange even if Palmer disagreed.

"Dr. Palmer?" Tony said after the call finally connected.

"What?" Palmer said. "I turned off my phone, I'm about to go into surgery. I'll have to scrub up again."

"Yeah, sorry, it's an emergency. I overrode your phone. Dr. Strange has been in an accident. I can take him to a state of the art-- beyond that, really, treatment, but I need your consent to do it legally. That is, if you're his medical proxy?"

"What?" Palmer said. "What accident? What's happened?"

"Car accident, no one else involved. He's unconscious, but not badly hurt, I think. Except for his hands."

"Oh, God," Palmer said. "Wait, you're not a doctor, are you sure?"

"I'm waiting on the EMTs to tell me how I can use Iron Man to get him out without causing more damage to him, but... his hands are trapped, crushed, cut and broken. Really bad." Tony could hear Palmer catch her breath. "JARVIS, can you send the scans to Dr. Palmer?"

"The resolution will be low," JARVIS warned, "and my scans are of necessity little more than surface visualization."

"Just do it."

Dr. Palmer didn't say anything for several minutes. Then she said, "What is this treatment? I can't authorize some... robotic experiment."

"No, it's not that. Helen Cho's Cradle. She's only got one working model so far, but it's been successfully used to repair major tissue damage. Even severed peripheral nerves can be reconnected and healed. If we catch it soon enough, he should have complete function restored within a few hours."

"I'll wait for the EMTs to make my decision." Dr. Palmer said. Tony could hear her murmuring something about 'someone else will have to take over, or postpone' before she spoke to him again, clearly walking with loud, fast, strides. "If I agree, where are you taking him?"

"Haven Harbor. You've been there. You've seen the Cradle."

"Yes. Yes. I know. I'm not thinking. I... I shouldn't drive. I'll call a taxi, an uber, someone..."

"I'll send a car from Stark Tower. The driver will take you whereever you say."

"All right. Call me back when the EMTs arrive."

"Will do. Hold on, Christine. Stephen's strong." He ended the call.

"Yes, and he will need to be."

"What?" Tony whirled, gauntlet and helmet reforming when he saw the woman walking out of a doorway made of glowing yellow sparks. "Stop right there, Glinda."

The woman smiled at him, and folded her arms, putting her hands into the sleeves of her weird monklike robe. "Not a witch, but I have good intentions. You need to believe that. Dr. Strange's accident was predetermined, and his injury is vital to the preservation of this dimension."

"Uh huh," Tony said, and kept his hands aimed at her. "Sure, you go ahead and tell me all about it. I have a few minutes before the ambulance and my copter arrive, which will be convenient if I have to blast you so they can haul you off."

Her smile grew. She made a gesture and the air changed, crackled and distorted around him. "You are now in the mirror dimension, unable to affect the outside world. Please, try to 'blast' me."

Tony took a shot. It hit the barely visible 'wall' and vanished. "If you have good intentions, then let me help Stephen. He's a brain surgeon, losing his hands will kill him."

She shook her head as she walked over to the car and peered in at Dr. Strange. "No, the suffering and despair are necessary, to forge him into a new person. He must be brought down, before I can raise him up. When I die, he will be the new Supreme Sorcerer, I feel confident of that. Although," she said as if musing, "it is true, I cannot see what happens after I die. However I am certain his drive to excel will be translated to the mystic arts once he can no longer operate as a surgeon."

"That is such bullshit!" Tony shouted. "Who are you really, Hydra? Or SHIELD? You sound like them...justify torture for the greater good! You sound like SHIELD, 'we don't want you, until you grovel at our feet, and then we'll use you'. You know how SHIELD fell? From FUCKING within, with their most trusted, and best, turning against the cruelty they'd accepted and used 'for the greater good!'"

The woman looked at Tony. "I am the Ancient One. I've done things you cannot imagine, all to protect the reality that allows you to prance about with your toys and impress those who cannot see the deeper meanings of existence. I see the possible futures, and I select the path with the fewest pitfalls."

"Possible?" Tony thought hard. He couldn't physically stop her, but maybe he could convince her to have second thoughts. "The future is the result of our actions now."

"Yes," she agreed.

"Our actions, including our decisions."

"Yes, of course."

"Then why not try, just try, to decide to let Stephen keep his hands. Try to challenge him. Try to show him possibilities in your...mystic arts." Magic was bullshit, just a word meant to keep you from trying to understand. "TRY for one minute, to believe he could be BOTH a doctor and a... sorcerer."

The Ancient One frowned. "Very well." She closed her eyes. The amulet around her neck opened. An emerald green light poured out from a large gem. She opened her eyes. She stood still, but her eyes flickered from side to side. After several minutes, the light died and the amulet closed. She fell to her knees. "Oh, Oh, no... what have I done? Kaecilius was only the start... Mordo... what have I done... the red witch..." She looked up at Tony and waved her hand. The crystal distortion faded. "I will not rest so soon. Good cannot come from evil." She stood up as Tony approached. "I do not know if it will be better in the end, but I will let you take Stephen. I have... I have kept a dark secret far too long. I must step out of the shadows, even if the light burns." She waved her hands. Tony now noticed one hand was wearing a set of... brass knuckles across two fingers? Another fizzy ring of what, burning steel wool? And she was gone.

"Well, that was freaky enough. I guess I know why she was bald, if she's ducking through fire all the time." Tony stood next to Stephen's car until the ambulance arrived, and then used Iron Man at their direction to remove the obstructions keeping him pinned. After they stabilized his spine, just in case, and put him on a stretcher, the Starkcopter arrived.

Tony called Helen. "The EMTs are here. Talk to them." He handed his phone to the lead EMT who listened and went back and forth with medical jargon for a few minutes before saying, "All right. I'll call it in, but I have to accompany the patient." She handed Tony the phone.

"Let's go." She hopped into the Starkcopter and guided the other two EMTs into placing Strange's stretcher on board, and then settled next to him to hold up the IV, and keep an eye on his vitals.

Tony also got in and let the suit disassemble so he could manually pilot the copter.

"Thanks," the EMT said. "I'm sure your autopilots are great, but..."

"Yeah," Tony said. "Sometimes you want a human hand." He glanced back at Stephen. "Robots will never replace that."

Chapter Text

Once Dr. Strange was settled in the Cradle, with Dr. Cho carefully observing the process, Tony moved out of the way, but not too far. He wanted to have a word with Stephen once he was recovered.

The EMT was sent home via chauffeured limo as her shift was over after insisting on meeting TOBY and giving him a sticker. TOBY proudly showed off his Star of Life sticker to Tony. "Don't think that makes you a doctor," Tony said. "Go pet the puppies."

TOBY burbled and went off to play with Bruce and Tiger.

Pepper came in and stood at Tony's shoulder. "He'll be all right. You got to him in time."

"Yeah. But what if I hadn't? His car was partly under water. If it had slipped he could have drowned."

"You can't think about all the what ifs, Tony. You saved him."

Tony turned to Pepper. "I almost didn't. A woman tried to stop me, with some story about the future relying on him being crippled and forced to become a magician."

"Wow," Pepper said. "That's wild. You were in the suit, what did she think she could do?"

"She could stop me. Pepper, she put up a... I don't know... force field? She called it a 'mirror dimension'. I couldn't get past it. And worse. She made portals."

"Portals? Like the attack on New York?" Pepper's voice went a little shrill. Tony nudged her further away from the doctors.

"Smaller, personal size, and Pepper... I don't know how she powered it. She had a small piece of metal on her hand like a double knuckle ring. I couldn't see any controls on it. She moved both hands and the portal formed. Then she stepped through into another place."

"God. Tony, how did you get Stephen... did you... make a bargain with her?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "No, I did not sell my soul. I'm guessing she's human, because she wanted to recruit Stephen as her heir as..." Tony took a deep breath. "Sorcerer Supreme."

"Ok," Pepper said, "Can I pretend you didn't say that?"

"I wish." Tony sighed. "Even more fun, she said she could see probable futures. I talked her into looking for futures where she let Stephen keep his hands, and apparently she saw something that made her rethink her strategy. A little. I suspect she still wants him in her cult."

"Probable futures? Is that messing with time?" Pepper asked, dubiously.

"No... no, I don't think so? But... what if I could look ahead and see a better future, if I'd changed one little thing in the recent past? If I could quantify Janet's ability to find the different time zones in the Quantum Realm, I could create a control to direct a path to anywhen... and quite probably anywhere."

Pepper shuddered. "That's terrifying, Tony. You're going to try to make it, aren't you?"

"I have to. I don't know what this Thanos is going to be like. What if we fuck up and he wins? We might need to go back and try again."

"Tony, it's dangerous. Promise you won't do it for anything less than... well... everything."

"Pep..."

Pepper put her fingers across Tony's lips. "And I don't mean me. I don't want to be the reason for the next big bang."

Tony huffed and nobly resisted all the jokes that 'big bang' brought to mind. "All right. I promise. It won't come to that. We're going to be ready."

Christine Palmer arrived and Tony considered telling her about the Sorcerer. That is, the thought crossed his mind, and he imagined her setting him up for another MRI, or worse, she'd believe him and she'd have the added worry of a cult trying to cripple Stephen. It seemed as if Lady Portal Fingers had definitely ruled it out, but what if she had another 'vision' and changed her mind? It wasn't as if Tony could offer any protection. No, let her just think Stephen's car accident was a normal thing. Tony really hoped the Sorcerer... Sorceress? Probably Sorcerer, Sorceress sounds like something out of a fairy tale... well, he hoped she'd just foreseen the accident... and hadn't caused it.

Christine wasn't crying, but she looked close to it as the Cradle opened and Stephen woke. He opened his eyes and blinked. "What? What happened? I was..." He held up his hands. "Thank God, it was only a dream."

"It was real, Stephen," Christine said as she took Stephen's hands in hers. "Look where you are."

Stephen blinked again and pulled his hands away. "This... what is this?" He sat up and touched the metal around him. "Dr. Cho's Cradle. It works?"

Helen Cho smiled at him. "Yes, Dr. Strange, it does indeed work. It has its limitations, but for fresh injuries where the template for reconstruction is intact, it can do wonders."

Stephen flexed his fingers and held them up. There were pale pink patches and the skin was baby smooth, lacking the few wrinkles and other marks of his age and constant use of them. "Amazing." Then he looked down at himself. He was wearing a loose fitting one piece garment. "Lovely. A Johnny gown. Might I have something more dignified?" Stephen finally noticed Tony. "Nothing of yours will fit, I'm sure."

"Be nice to Mr. Stark," Christine said. "He saved your life."

"Maybe," Tony said. "Someone else could have found you. I was just there first... because you called me."

"I..oh, yes, I hit the panic button. Thank you... Tony," Stephen said. "It seems I owe you." He looked down at his hands again. "I can't believe I was so stupid. I was talking to Billy while driving. At night. In the mountains. On a switchback road. What was I thinking?"

Tony didn't say it, but he did wonder. "Billy called 911. If I hadn't been there, you still would have been found."

"Oh, well, then, I don't need to thank you, do I?" Stephen said. But he smiled at Tony.

"Stephen," Christine scolded.

"Christine," Stephen said. "Thank you for coming. I'd like to talk to Mr. Stark, once I get some clothes. So... shoo."

"It's nothing I haven't seen," Christine said. "But since you're obviously back to normal, I should go. I walked out on an operation."

"You did?" Stephen raised his eyebrows.

"It hadn't started, luckily. I couldn't operate. My hands were shaking," Christine said. She shook her head. "It will be all right. I'll go wait for you in the limo. You'll need a ride, too, you know."

Stephen winced. "Oh, yes. My poor Lambo."

Christine left, with Pepper accompanying her.

"All right," Stephen said once they were out of earshot. "I caught the significant glances you were giving me over Christine's shoulder. What's on your mind? Thank you," he said to Helen who had handed him a bundle of clothes. "I'm already up to my neck in your plots with telepathically induced hallucinations, shape- shifting aliens, and now people with xeroxed brains. What new outrage against sanity are you going to lure me into?"

"Oh, this one is a doozy," Tony said, as Strange stepped behind a screen and started dressing. "And it's totally not my fault. Apparently someone thinks you'd look good in a pointy hat and a robe with stars and crescent moons."

"What?" Strange poked his head around the screen.

"You could be a wizard, Harry."

Chapter Text

"What are you going on about?" Stephen said. He finished dressing and stepped around the screen to scowl at Tony. "Your puerile humor is beginning to pall. I should have expected it, I suppose. From Chicken Little to Invasion of the Body Snatchers. What's next, My Little Pony- Friendship is Magic?"

Tony said, "I don't know about ponies, and I don't believe in magic, but this...JARVIS, show him what happened when I found him in his car."

"As you wish, Sir." JARVIS said. "I believe it would be best to move to a more private setting."

"Good idea." The doctors, nurses and other medical personnel were trying to be professional and not eavesdrop, but it's only human to be curious. Tony led the way to a small meeting room.

Stephen watched the video and accompanying scans and analysis JARVIS had taken. He didn't say anything until it was finished. Then he turned to Tony. "This isn't an elaborate prank."

"No."

"That woman wanted me crippled."

"Yes." Tony didn't try to soften it. Let Stephen come to his own conclusions.

"She wanted me so desperate I would beg her to use 'magic' to restore my hands."

"I think so."

"And then what? Count on my gratitude to enroll in Hogwarts and join her cult on my days off?" Stephen didn't wait for Tony to speak. "No. That wouldn't suit a cult leader."

"She might have given up on you," Tony said.

Stephen raised an eyebrow. "That wasn't the face of a woman given to surrender, or compromise. You distracted her. She decided something else took priority. After all I could always have another accident."

"I can give you another emergency button. I'll study the data JARVIS got. Maybe I can figure out a way to negate it."

"And what odds do you give me?" Stephen said.

Tony shook his head. "I don't know. I'm sorry, but as much as I'd like to say I can do it, I don't know. I have a lot of other, critical, issues to handle, so I can't promise to devote my time to it. And I can't protect you." Tony paused. "I can't. But that's because it's not my field. I have heard of someone who might be able to help. If we could convince him. I don't know what he'd ask. Hell, there's nothing he needs."

"Who?"

"The Monarch and Supreme Ruler of Latveria. He calls himself Dr. Doom. I don't know what kind of doctor he is, or if that's an actual title. He might have just liked the sound of it."

"Dr. Doom," Stephen said, staring at Tony in disbelief.

"Yeah, I mean I know some people who can do weird stuff, but I don't think any of it would stop the Old Lady," Tony said, thinking of Professor Xavier's school. "And there's Wanda Maximoff, but even if I knew where she was, giving my name as a recommendation wouldn't endear you to her. I don't think she'd be much help, in any case. She hasn't the patience either to be ready to protect you, or to teach you to protect yourself."

"Teach me?" Stephen laughed. "So, you think I could... and should... become a wizard?"

"The Old Lady thought you had the potential to be her equal. I doubt she would have outed her cult to Iron Man for an ordinary recruit. And should... well... whatever you call it, can't you think of medical uses for that kind of power? She could create an isolation chamber, handy to hold a violent patient temporarily, portals could save lives getting a patient to surgery, and seeing possible futures could help with diagnosis and treatment."

Stephen scowled. "No. I won't become a circus act."

"You might not have a choice, if she comes back for you. This time, I'm pretty sure she was just taking advantage of an accident, or else she'd have been prepared and grabbed you before I got there."

"I... I'll think about it. If this 'Doom' doesn't turn you down, and frankly I can't see why he wouldn't, then I'd be willing to at least talk to him." Stephen shook his head. "I'm going home now. Call me and let me know how it goes."

"Wait." Tony took a contact button from the armor and offered it to Stephen. "Just in case. If you do disappear, try to let me know."

Stephen took the button. "Yes." He straightened. "Do you expect my prospective patients in the near future?"

Tony nodded. "In the next day or two seems likely."

"I might as well stay, then," Strange said. "The car accident and the shock of my 'miraculous' survival unharmed will excuse adding to my planned time off."

"Good idea," Tony replied. He didn't blame Dr. Strange for not wanting to get into another car just yet. "You'll let Dr. Palmer know? I'd tell her, but I suspect she thinks I have designs on you."

Strange huffed a short laugh. "I'll protect your virtue." He shook his head and left the room.

"All right, JARVIS, send Dr. Doom the video of The Ancient One, and ask if he'd be willing to help Dr. Strange. Don't make any suggestions to him, let him decide what answer he wants to make. Pretty it up, be diplomatic."

"I shall be the very soul of diplomacy, Sir."

"Great. Probably best not to mention Luke Cage."

"I concur," JARVIS said dryly. "It may interest you to know that Bruce and Tiger have found Ms. Pott's Louboutin collection."

"Oh, shit. Not the Rhinestone Cassandre heels!" Tony hurried towards the room where the pups SHOULD be.

"No, Sir, they are attempting to gnaw the Miss Sab."

"Oh, ok, that's not so bad. I mean, patent calf leather isn't exactly healthy, but rhinestones have lead. TOBY find Bruce and Tiger."

TOBY burbled and led Tony to the pups who had abandoned the shoes, and crawled into a Louis Vuitton Multi Pochette handbag. "Aww, they were looking for a mommy. Save a snap for Pepper's baby book." He picked up the bag. "And order one in a larger size."

Tony sat down on a couch in the main living area with the Louis Vuitton 'pouch' full of sleeping thylacines. Pepper had told him their more accurate name, and he'd been working at accepting it. Having a pet tiger or wolf sounded more cool. Oh, well... "JARVIS, what have we got for distraction... oh, hey, I know. "May's 'black and red spider person'. Tell 42 to come here, I want to ask him about that day."

42 flew in a few minutes later and walked up to Tony. He stood at parade rest, 'eye' slits glowing blue.

"You remember the day you were assigned to keep people out of the HAVEN Main Stem clinic, 42?"

"Yes, Sir," 42 replied.

"It seems that someone got a spider. I doubt Dr. Cho lost one, and I know the search was very thorough before the clinic reopened after the fumigation. So, could anyone have got past you?"

"No one while I was watching, Sir."

Tony noticed the slight hesitation before answering. "And were you watching the entire time you were posted there?"

Again the slight hesitation. "The young man who asked to 'tag' me." 42 paused again. "He instructed me to shut my eyes to avoid getting paint in them."

Tony blinked. "But you don't HAVE eyelids. What did you do?"

42 said, slowly, "I temporarily disabled my video."

Tony sighed. "42, you were suckered. Report to JARVIS for lessons in how not to get scammed. And give JARVIS your video of your sneaky graffiti artist and everything else you picked up from him. It seems he got more from his souvenir spider than he expected."

42 actually slumped. "I am sorry, sir."

"Eh," Tony said, "you're a kid, too. Help JARVIS find the guy before he gets in real trouble." Tony closed his eyes and listened to 42 walk away to one of the dedicated data ports to obey Tony's order to give JARVIS everything. "Kids." He patted the puppies. "You gotta love 'em, but boy, do they give you gray hair."

Chapter Text

JARVIS said, "I am assembling a grid of images taken from various security cameras, police cameras, news files, and where geo-tagged, the internet, without the formality of requesting permission."

"But not personal cameras or phones, right?" Tony said as Pepper had come in to the communal living room and was now side-eying him. For reasons of deniability, Dr. Strange had gone back to the medical unit to talk doctorese with Helen, so it was just Tony, Pepper, and the two sleeping thylacines.

"Certainly not, Sir, I have my scruples. In that vein, I request permission to enact a new protocol omitting the site formerly known as Twitter from the search database, Sir. The EU considers it the largest source of disinformation- 'fake news' as it is commonly called."

"Oh, God, yes," Tony said. "I'm ashamed to think I once told Musk I'd consider going in with him on his electric car scheme."

"I give you a pass on that, Tony. You were dying of heavy metal poisoning at the time," Pepper said. "I just wish you had felt you could tell me. Was I really that much of a bitch?"

Tony shook his head rapidly. "No, no, never. You're always just the right amount of bitch... wait, strike that, back up, I meant that in a good way, Pep!"

Pepper put her hands up to cover her face.

"Pep?"

Pepper dropped her hands and laughed. "Yes, I AM just the right amount of bitch. It takes some bite to handle S.I."

Tony sighed. "And I do so love to watch you at work, taking down the big dogs."

"Speaking of dogs," Pepper said. "My Louis Vuitton Multi Pochette? Really?"

"Bruce and Tiger have expensive tastes. They found the Multi Poochette all on their own."

"Fine, but when they turn it into a Multi Poopette, you handle it."

Tony grinned. "You got it, Boss."

And then the air wavered, and a man wearing gray armor and a green hooded cape appeared. "Fuck!" Tony leaped to his feet, shoving the bag full of pups at Pepper so he could call his own armor. JARVIS opened all the nearest weapons ports. "SIR, shall I fire?"

"Doom is not here to battle," the man said.

"You don't look as if you're dressed to party!" Tony replied as his own armor assembled on him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Pepper backing up, carrying the pups and headed towards the nearest safe room, he hoped.

"Doom always wears his armor."

"Always?" Tony asked. "That can't be healthy." Dr. Doom still hadn't made a threatening move and Tony relaxed slightly. "I was expecting you to return my call, not... drop in unannounced."

"Doom goes where he wishes, when he wishes."

Tony was beginning to regret suggesting him as a tutor for Dr. Strange. "Uh huh. Neat trick, how do you do that?"

Doom pulled his surcoat aside (yes, Tony knew the names for medieval knight's armor and clothing. He'd been a big King Arthur fan) revealing a flattish metal device. "A gift from peaceful aliens. Doom thinks where he wishes to be and Doom is there."

"Peaceful aliens? Makes a nice change. Are they here, on Earth?"

Doom shook his head. "No. Doom did not come here to talk about the Ovoids. Doom came here to discuss payment for taking an apprentice. Strange is old to begin, so Doom does not wish to waste any further time. Bring him here, so Doom may take him back to Latveria and begin."

"Ah. Wow. I hadn't exactly got to the point where Dr. Strange had agreed to that. I thought we'd sit down, have a cup of coffee... ah, maybe not coffee... with that mask if you're always wearing it... a nice cold drink with a flexi-straw."

Doom made a gesture, and Dr. Strange appeared, as if dragged into the room. "Of course, Strange will agree. Doom senses his potential, it would be wasted on The Ancient One's mystical cult." He huffed. "They do not comprehend the intricate interaction between magic and technology!"

"Ah," Dr. Strange said. "You know? On second thought, maybe I'm not that interested in my potential. I already have a steady job, good pay, the respect, if not admiration, of my peers."

"Bah, trivialities!" Doom said. "Doom can show you the world in ways you have never dreamed!"

"Shining, shimmering, splendid?" Tony muttered. "Look, Dr. Doom..."

A gold glittering portal opened, and the Ancient One stepped out, followed by a solemn looking man wearing a red cloak over a red wraparound sleeveless judogi. It was a more badass effect than the Ancient One in her shades of mustard layered look.

"Good day, Doom," the Ancient One said.

The red cloak flapped in a non-existent breeze, flared out stiffly for a moment, and then flew over to Dr. Strange and settled on his shoulders. After a startled moment, Strange looked at the cloak. It twisted around and gave the appearance of looking at him. He shrugged.

"You see, Wong?" TAO said.

"So, the cloak of levitation likes him," Wong replied grumpily. "Maybe it just thinks it looks good on him. You know how vain it is."

"You shall not enfold this man in the clutches of your cult," Doom said. "Give them back the cloak, Strange."

"You know, I don't think I will," Dr. Strange said. "It does look good on me."

The cloak flicked its collar smuggly.

"The Mystic Order is not a cult," the Ancient One said. "However, I do agree that Dr. Strange is not best suited to Kamar-Taj."

"Wait, what?" Tony said, suspiciously. "If you're giving him up, why did you bother to come here? You know, a phone call or email would have been good enough."

The Ancient One folded her arms, putting her hands into her sleeves. "In gratitude for being prevented from making a catastrophic error, I have come to grant you a boon."

"Uh huh," Tony said, "That's nice, but really not necessary. I'm full up on boons. I have all the boons I could ever want."

The Ancient One gave him a subtle smile. "You may defer collecting it if you wish. However, I also owe an apology to Dr. Strange. An apology and recompense."

"Nope," Dr. Strange said. "We never met. Nothing happened. I'm totally good."

The Ancient One's smile widened. "Wong, they don't trust me."

Wong grunted. "I don't know why, you have such an honest face."

The Ancient One laughed. "Truly. I have seen that it would be best if we were allies. What comes will not spare anyone based on ideological differences."

Doom huffed. "Doom can protect his own country."

"Yeaaah," Tony said, "But how about the whole world? The lady is right about that. Thanos is coming."

"Do not SPEAK that name!" Doom said. He moved suddenly for the first time since appearing. He turned and paced away. His cape fluttered in the normal way. He abruptly whirled. "If this is true, Doom must prepare." He pointed at Dr. Strange. "Decide NOW! Either you come with me, and learn to survive, or Doom leaves you to your fate."

Dr. Strange blinked. "Thanos? As in Thanatos, the personified spirit of non-violent death?"

Doom shook his helmeted head slowly. "He is no spirit, and he revels in violence. Doom rarely travels into space, as Doom's country requires constant attention, but Doom has heard of him. He is a giant of malice, powerful enough to give even Doom uncertainty in battle."

"More powerful than you think," Tony said. "He's trying to collect the infinity stones. Don't know how many he's picked up so far. He lost the mind-stone while trying to get the space stone. That's supposedly been put in the vault at Asgard, but the mind-stone is here, and there are rumors the time stone might also be here."

"No rumor," the Ancient One said. She held up the pendant on her long necklace. It opened, revealing a glowing green gem. "I brought it because I foresaw I would require its services." She turned to Doom. "What payment do you require to accept Dr. Strange as an apprentice?"

"I hadn't agreed to that," Dr. Strange muttered. "I'm still thinking about it."

Doom looked at the Ancient One, and then at the pendant. "If you have looked ahead, you know Doom's price."

"I do. Take off your mask."

Doom hesitated, and then reached up to undo something at the back of his head. The mask fell off revealing a face disfigured by thick ropes of leathery keloid tissue, leaving two clear brown eyes untouched but surrounded by scars. "Doom attended Empire State University with Reed Richards. Reed's friend Ben Grimm tampered with Doom's machine to contact spirits of the dead and damned. It exploded and Doom was doubly punished, expelled even before Doom was released from the hospital.

"So Doom lives behind a mask."

"No longer," the Ancient One said softly. She gestured and a wheel of fiery light appeared to hover over Doom's face. It spun counter-clockwise, and the light brightened until Tony closed his eyes against the glare.

When he opened them, Doom crushed the helmet in his hand and tossed it to the floor. He straightened and smiled, smiled with an unblemished, even handsome, face of a young man. "Doom accepts the fee." He gestured at Dr. Strange and the two of them vanished, with the cloak of levitation hastily wrapping Strange in a protective embrace.

"DAMN IT, DOOM!" Tony shouted. "That's kidnapping!"

Chapter Text

"Well?" Tony turned to the Ancient One and her ... whatever... hanger-on. "Zap me there. Portal me!"

"No," the Lady in Yellow said.

"Why NOT?" Tony asked.

"You didn't say 'please'," Wong said.

"You're fucking kidding me. Fine, PLEASE send me to rescue Dr. Strange. AGAIN."

"No," LIY said.

Tony just stared at her. She smiled. "If I did everything for you, you'd have no sense of accomplishment." Then she made a portal which showed a medieval-styled courtyard filled with people in assorted cult costumes practicing martial arts with sparks. She stepped through and appeared in the courtyard.

Wong paused before following her. "You are too high-strung, Stark. I recommend you drink herbal tea instead of coffee." Then he followed her and the portal vanished.

"Pepper!" Tony shouted. "I've lost Strange AGAIN."

Pepper appeared, without the pups, and awkwardly wearing a set of Widow's Bites. Tony didn't even know where she got them. "I know. Friday showed me everything. You're going to Latveria?"

Tony huffed in frustration. "I can't let Doom get away with this."

"It's a matter of pride?" Pepper said, and her eyebrows lifted. "Not because you like Stephen?"

"Fine. I don't maybe entirely dislike the guy."

"If you enter Latveria without approval there will be diplomatic repercussions," Pepper said. She took off the Widow's Bites. "Let me get my Rolodex and see who I have on call in Washington."

"You are my treasure," Tony said. He went to her and gave her a quick kiss. "How can I ever repay you?" He turned, and opened the widest doors so he could take off.

Pepper grinned. "Just come back safely. Oh... and make me a suit."

Tony paused and looked back at her. He grinned. "Done. JARVIS, THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!" He closed the helmet and rocketed out of the building and headed up, trying to get high enough not to cause damage to property due to sonic boom. "YAAAAY!" He shouted, once again feeling the rush of being his very own jet.

It made a good distraction. He wanted to be at Haven Harbor to greet Rhodey... oh, and the other people the Skrulls had held. He was SO going to kick Doom's ass, no matter what magic crap he tried.

Even on supersonic speeds he'd be nearly three hours en route. Plenty of time to worry. Doom was fairly obviously not the most stable person in the world, and Stephen was not the most conciliatory.

A little over an hour out, suit JARVIS said, "SIR! I am picking up an audio transmission from Dr. Strange's contact button!"

"Put him through." Without waiting for confirmation, if he couldn't trust JARVIS to do his job, who could he trust? Tony asked, "Strange, is that you?"

"Yeah," Dr. Strange said, "it's me. Sorry I didn't call sooner, but it's been rather hectic here." He said something Tony couldn't quite hear, as if he was talking to someone else. "The cloak wrapped around Doom's head, and bounced him off the floor a few times. It's a castle, with stone floors."

"Ouch," Tony said.

Strange went on. "He was knocked out almost immediately. Maybe the cloak thought he was still wearing metal. No, don't shake at me like that. I'm a doctor, I do not approve of bashing people's heads in."

"What?" Tony asked.

"I was talking to the cloak. It seems overprotective of me, for some reason."

"So, where are you now? Are you in a safe place? I can get you over the border to Hungary, and make arrangements from there." It's not as if Tony could piggyback a person while flying Iron Man.

"What? No, I can't leave just yet. I'm prepping for a neuroendoscopy."

Totally confused now, Tony said, "WHAT?"

"Doom may live in a stone castle, but he has an up to date facility. I ordered one of his minions to check him out, and the MRI showed a brain tumor. He has really quite sophisticated medical imagining. I suppose his glioma went undetected because.. well, if he never took off the mask, an MRI would be out of the question."

"So, you're telling me Dr. Doom should have had his head examined?"

Strange made a noise that sounded like he was trying not to laugh. "Precisely. While the etiology isn't definite, recent studies have found a correlation between traumatic brain injury and subsequent, even many years later, development of this type of brain cancer. I theorize the proximate cause may have been the incident in college that he spoke of."

"So... you're going to operate on him? Doesn't he have his own doctors?"

"Yes, of course," Stephen said. "His major domo has his power of medical attorney and called in his regular physicians. They all deferred to me and requested I perform the operation without waiting for him to awake. Apparently they feel the tumor has affected his judgement and they were afraid he'd refuse treatment. I'm not entirely comfortable with the ethics, but he did trust the man to make decisions for him. One of the older physicians, who knew him before he went to college, said he never used to call himself in the third person."

"Yeah, that's taking the Royal We a bit far, when you're allergic to pronouns. So... look, I'm halfway there. I'm coming anyway. If something goes wrong, you may yet need a quick exit. The old lady went back to her cult, so there's no handy portals in store."

"Right. I can't tell how long surgery will take, two to six hours? After that, I'm turning him over to his own doctors. They can handle after-care. They say they'll have Doom's own pilot fly me back to New York after they're sure he's stable."

"If you could ask the 'major domo' or whoever is in charge of their border defense to allow me in, that would be handy. I can play dodge ball with surface to air missiles, but it's not my favorite pastime."

This time Stephen definitely laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure you don't want scratches on your paint job."

"Right? Hard candy hot rod red looks gorgeous, up until some asshole keys it." Tony felt himself relax. Something could go wrong, it always could, but for the moment it sounded like everything would work out. "So, if Doom wakes up and still wants you to apprentice to him?"

"Hmm, maybe... if I'm catnip to magicians, who's to say another one won't pop up out of the woodwork? I would like to be able to cast a Petrificus Totalus until I could get away."

Tony grinned to himself. "Or Stupify. Well, you've got the cloak now. All you need is the pointy hat."

Chapter Text

Everyone was very polite to Tony. They didn't even suggest he might be more comfortable out of Iron Man. Actually he would, so after JARVIS completed scans and found no suspiciously hostile activity, he stepped out of the armor and left JARVIS on sentry duty.

Then he asked to see Stephen and was guided to an observation window in a balcony set above the surgery. The cloak was floating there, seemingly watching as well. Oh my god, that's what neuroendoscopy meant, operating on the brain through the nose? Tony's admiration for Stephen's skills went up a notch or several. Watching his hands manipulate those tiny tools made Tony realize what a crime it would have been to cripple him 'for the greater good'. Sure, it would be swell to have Merlin the magician fighting Thanos, but at what point do you become Thanos? At what point does everyone become 'collateral damage' so long as you win?

Tony called Pepper, using JARVIS's connections. "Hi Pep, I'm in Latveria. No problems here. I'm hoping to be back tomorrow. How is everything at your end?"

Pepper didn't answer right away. Then she said, "The Skrull have returned. They are happy with the colony city, and will be bringing back our people tonight. Before you panic, I've called Vision to return and he's sending all the active Sentinels except for the ones he's leaving in the mine. Speaking of Sentinels; what did you say to 42? He's playing my shadow."

"He's trying to make up for a little mistake. Hey, you're both art lovers, you should get along fine. You should call Happy, too. A queen should have at least one human guard."

"Nick Fury said much the same thing after Talos told him their deal was off and he'd be dealing with me, instead. He offered to send me his finest agents. Because he cares about me so much?"

"Did you laugh in his face? I missed my chance when he tried that line on me," Tony said.

"I did not laugh," Pepper said primly. "I told him that unfortunately JARVIS had developed a fault in his visual recognition circuits and now classifies SHIELD agents as cockroaches so I couldn't guarantee their safety."

"That's not a bug, it's a feature," Tony said as he laughed. "I'm not worried. You're the best, Pep. You can handle anything."

"That's right," Pepper said. "We'll both be fine, no matter what."

"Love you," Tony blurted out.

"I know," Pepper said with a smirk, and ended the connection.

"JARVIS, keep in constant touch with Haven Harbor JARVIS," Tony said as he left the observation room. The cloak flapped at him, so he waved back.

"Do you wish a running update, Sir?"

Tony thought for a moment, then he shook his head. "No, I need to keep focussed here. Unless the old lady shows up and is feeling generous, I can't get back fast enough to do anything if there's a crisis. Use your judgement. It's possible Doom's major domo can work the teleporter Doom used, so that might be an option."

The surgery went on forever. Tony did get to talk with some of Doom's higher ups while he waited. He wasn't sure it was right to call them minions, maybe loyal retainers would be more accurate. Apparently the previous king of Latveria had been a tyrant and everyone remembered- was reminded- how much better off they were with Doom. They were poor, but no one went hungry or was without the necessities, they told him.

No one commented on the robots that marched through the castle or could be seen patrolling the city. They didn't do anything while Tony watched, and no one ran from them... but no one went up and put stickers on them, either. Tony was uneasy about it, but after all it was their country. Maybe they were better off with Doom. As erratic as he was, he was also capable of protecting what was his.

Dr. Strange came out after the surgery and nodded at Tony. The cloak rushed over to wrap around him. Stephen rolled his eyes. "Stark," he said, "can we talk later? I need a nap."

"Sure. They set aside a suite for us."

"Us?" Then Stephen shrugged, "Whatever. I'm just going to sleep. You can watch me and tell me if I snore. I've always wondered, and Christine wouldn't say."

"You should set up a recorder," Tony said.

"I prefer actual people," Stephen said, with a significant look at the Iron Man suit that was following Tony.

"Uh huh," Tony said, "what about your Snuggie? Does he count, or she? Which are you, Colleen, or Levi?" Tony asked the Cloak. "I'd say 'Col', but that's too close to Coulson, and you're far more expressive than he ever was."

Strange frowned. "Col?"

"Cloak Of Levitation. You must be really tired," Tony said. "We'll talk later."

"Umm.. yes," Stephen yawned. He patted the Cloak. "You don't need a nickname, Cloak."

"Doom is awake and calling for you, Dr. Strange," the man who'd introduced himself only as Boris said, entering the suite without knocking and only stopping because Iron Man blocked his path. He was smiling broadly. "It's wonderful!"

"Great," Dr. Strange said, with a yawn. "Is there coffee?"

"Oh, yes, yes, of course." Boris dithered. "But Doom wishes to see you." Now he looked nervous.

Tony would like coffee, too. He can't remember the last time he slept. "How awake is Doom?" he asked. "I mean, waking up from an operation..."

Stephen nodded. "He'll be groggy and even if he doesn't fall asleep, he isn't likely to be terribly aware of the passage of time. Bring coffee and let me freshen up. His own physician will still be testing his responsiveness. No need to interfere." Stephen said it as if there was no question about it, not an order, just the way things would be.

"Yes. Yes, Dr. Strange," Boris said, half bowing as he left.

"Huh," Tony said. "Work it right, and you could be named Doom's heir."

Stephen snorted. "First prize is a week in Latveria. Second prize, two weeks."

Stephen took his time in the bathroom. Tony didn't complain. If he'd had his hands up Doom's brain, he'd scrub the skin off. Tony got a few minutes in his turn, and then the coffee arrived. Coffee, fruit, and pastry. Iron Man didn't move, so Tony was assured he'd scanned it and it was all safe.

Boris came back just as they were finishing. He looked even happier than the first time. "Viktor is awake!"

"Who?" Tony and Stephen asked as one. Cloak flapped. Iron Man tilted his head.

"Viktor Von Doom! He says I am to call him Viktor again, as when he was a boy." He rushed forward and shook Dr. Strange's hand vigorously. "It is a miracle!"

"Yeaah," Dr. Strange said. "Sure."

They followed Boris at a slight distance. Tony said, "You're amazing."

"Yes," Stephen said.

"I mean, it sounds like you pulled the stick out of Doom's ass, through his nose."

Stephen didn't quite manage to stifle his laugh. "Yeah, I doubt it. Instant personality change for the better? I'm a surgeon, not yet a magician."

Doom was propped up in bed when they arrived, surrounded by doting physicians. He smiled at Tony and Stephen. "I owe you many thanks, Dr. Strange."

"Pronouns, too?" Tony said, not quite in a whisper.

Doom smiled wider. "Yes. What you removed from me was no ordinary tumor, Doctor Strange."

"Of course not," Stephen said. "How could it be, you're Doom."

Doom rolled his eyes. "That's my last name yes." He turned to Boris. "Set up a plebiscite, Boris. It's ridiculous having everything in the country named Doom. Doomsburg, Doomsdale, Doomstadt, Doomsvale, Doomton, Doomwood, Doomcity... it's embarrassing, and probably tempting fate to doom us all."

"Yes, Viktor," Boris said. Then he paused, "What is a plebiscite?"

"Voting, Boris. I don't like Latveria being a laughingstock." He tilted his head. "Of course, there will be no elections for ruler. Just put up proclamations with space for anonymous suggestions. And then the people can vote on place names."

Yeah, Tony didn't really think Doom was starting a democracy.

Doom, or Viktor, straightened. He looked directly at Stephen. "You have no idea what you've done, do you?"

"I surgically removed a malignant mass from your brain."

"Yes." Viktor, it had to be Viktor, giggled. "Yes, malignant. I don't believe any other doctor could have done it. That 'mass' was hell matter. Probably very small when my device exploded, but it grew. It fed on... well... the sort of things Hell enjoys. I did try to fight it. Sometimes not very successfully. I never was a saint." He shrugged. "But they are my people, and I will fight for them. Boris, the satchel."

Boris scurried forward and placed a large, heavy looking leather satchel, worn and shabby, on the bed next to Viktor's left hand. He touched it and it opened to reveal a number of books, different sizes and thicknesses, bound in different leathers. "Beginner's books in magic. My mother made them for me when I was a child. If you will accept them, you may take them and learn at your leisure."

Dr. Strange looked tempted. "But they're... your mother's. Would you trust me with them?"

"If you accept they will only open to you. Only you will be able to read them."

"What if they're lost or stolen?" Tony asked, because he could see Stephen wouldn't, and Viktor's smile might be sane, but Tony doubted he'd lost any of his ruthlessness.

Viktor laughed. "That won't be a problem. Do you accept?"

Dr. Strange nodded slowly. "Yes. I do. Do I need to swear in blood?"

"There is already a blood-oath between us. The weight of it is on my side. This is only a small token." Viktor said something that didn't sound right, but wasn't loud or soft, just jagged words that glittered and fell on the satchel and its contents. "Yours now."

Stephen touched the books. "Thanks. I think."

"Boris." Viktor said.

Boris winced, but he touched a fingertip lightly to one book. The leather erupted into a snake and lunged at him.

"EEE," Boris said and jerked away. The snake snapped once more, and slumped back into a book.

Stephen said, "Snakes, why is it always snakes?"

Chapter Text

"No, it is not always snakes," Viktor said. "Look to the skin. They remember the shape they once held. But not the spirit, mother was quite insistent on that."

"It's creepy enough without that," Tony said.

Viktor shrugged. "No worse than leather shoes, shaped to fit. Nothing like your cloak, Strange. That is a marvel. You are fortunate that it chose you."

The cloak snuggled and fluttered in what Tony took as a smug expression.

"You are well on the road to recovery," Stephen said. "Your own doctors can take it from here."

Viktor smiled. "If you are hinting that you wish to depart, that can be arranged. I can't use the mind teleporter, it would take too much from me at the moment, but there are alternatives. If you enjoy rubbing elbows with the hoi polloi, I can have you driven to an airport in Hungary where you may await the next flight back to your country. There may be transfers and delays, even layovers, but if you are in no hurry, that is certainly an option."

Tony huffed. "You're laying it on thick, Viktor."

Viktor tilted his head in acknowledgement. "I'm accustomed to simply giving orders. My power of persuasion is, as you might say, rusty."

"So, what's the alternative?" Stephen asked.

"My private jet at Doomsport is always kept ready." Viktor frowned. "I see why no major airline wishes to stop there. A more cheerful name is in order. But it will need to keep the airport code DMP, otherwise it will entail considerable expense and annoyance dealing with officials who do not simply agree with Doom... I mean... with me."

"DMP?" Tony said, "DUMP? Someone was having a laugh at your expense."

"I am well aware of that, Stark," Viktor snapped. "I think Latveria International will be the new name. It's not as if the code must match."

"Fine, sounds good," Stephen said, "So, someone will take me to the airport and fly me to New York."

"Albany International is closest to Haven Harbor, if you still want to stay there," Tony said. "I mean, now that you have a correspondence course, you might be too busy..."

Stephen gave Tony a tired glare. "Don't nag. I promised, and I'll do it."

"Fine." Tony looked at Doom. "I need to get back, but if you need some advice on running a kinder, gentler monarchy, give me a call."

"What would you know about it?" Viktor was looking a bit Doomy.

Tony spread his hands. "Nothing. But I do know how to expand a business. You could be doing better. Your people could be doing better."

Viktor's scowl slightly softened. "I will consider it." He paused. "Thank you."

Tony nodded. "Thank self-interest. When Mr. T arrives I want my allies to be as strong as possible."

Viktor's expression turned thoughtful. Then he scowled again. "You are also allied with Reed Richards. That means I am allied with them as well."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Transitive property in action. If it helps, I really doubt Richards has a mean bone in his whole rubberized body."

"I know," Viktor said. "That is the most infuriating thing about him."

Tony laughed.

Tony went down with Stephen to Doom's limo. It had flags and special license plates and probably bulletproof glass. "Still have your button?" Tony asked.

Dr. Strange nodded. "I'm sure I won't need it. Probably."

"Yeah, let's not tempt fate." Tony patted Cloak. "You take good care of him, Levi."

Cloak nodded.

Tony backed up and let Iron Man enfold him. He flew slowly enough to trail the limo to the airport. Calling it an 'International' was a bit of a stretch. There were weeds growing between the runways, and he's pretty sure he saw a goat eating them. The plane looked good though, a sparkling clean Gulfstream G650. On a flyover before it began taxiing for takeoff, JARVIS scanned it and found nothing unusual. If Doom did magic on board, it left no residue JARVIS could register.

During the hours Tony was in flight, he considered magic (in between worrying about Pepper and Rhodey and Happy. JARVIS said everything was fine, but they were too busy to talk and he was decidedly NOT WORRYING about what they could be 'too busy' with.). What was magic? Did it really matter WHO you were? Was Dr. Strange somehow born with the potential for magic? Was it simply something you needed to be a genius to truly master? And where did they get the power from? There's no way a human body could power portals. Viktor said it would 'take too much out of him' but that probably just meant there was some effort involved.

Viktor at least used tech with his magic, not just crude brass knuckles. So, did that mean there were different methods? Was Viktor's techie magic compatible with Tony's stuff? Tony considered a Doombot with an arc reactor and quickly scrubbed that thought from his mind.

By the time he landed at Haven Harbor Tony had decided to be very nice to Stephen, so he would let Tony crib his notes. The compound looked the same as ever. Tony was a little surprised. He'd had a mental image of people running around trying to kiss the ground and shouting about freedom.

He let the suit shift off and follow him into the main living room. "Where is everyone?"

Pepper leaned around a corner. "Oh, Tony! You're back."

And then.

Rhodey strode around the corner. He was wearing a Haven Harbor employees uniform, and boasting a hair-do with long tufts and twists like pulled cotton candy.

"Oh, my God, I've just revisited the 1980's," Tony said.

Rhodey laughed, and Tony ran to him and hugged him so hard he felt the hard muscle under his hands. Rhodey had always been in good shape, but this ... this was a rock. "I missed you, Platypus. God, even when I thought you were here, I knew... it wasn't right."

"Yeah. Well, it's me, and I'm here, so get over it and move on!"

Chapter Text

"Get over it, the man says." Tony hugged Rhodey even tighter. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"What?" Rhodey pushed Tony back a step. "If you're sorry because I wasn't having a fun holiday, ok, but if you're saying it was your fault, that's bullshit."

"They took you because you're my friend," Tony said.

"No. When Gravik came to refresh the sim he said they needed someone who could get close to Fury, but who wasn't part of SHIELD. They wanted an Avenger, but they couldn't duplicate any 'powers', so you know, that left me or Wilson. I guess they tossed a coin."

"Or they went with the more handsome specimen," Tony teased.

"Or that." Rhodey grinned. "I'll feel a lot better after I get this haystack off my head."

"Yeah, they didn't say they were denying you a barber. They said you had everything you need, even television."

"Television. I hate Richard Simmons. Do you know what hell is? It's watching EVERY version of 'Sweatin' to the Oldies' for a millionth time stuck in a goldfish bowl with politicians and generals. It was work out or punch someone out."

Tony tried to look sympathetic, but the mental image of Rhodey, with his current 'do flopping and bouncing as he followed along with video duped from a 1988 VHS cracked him up. "I think I would have opted for punching."

Rhodey shrugged. "I knew you'd get us out one day, and generals can be vindictive."

"SIR!" JARVIS interrupted, "There is an IFO approaching."

"IFO?" Tony asked, hesitating about getting back into Iron Man again. It really needed cleaning and Febrezing.

"The object is identified as Captain Danvers," JARVIS said and Tony gladly walked away from the suit.

"Where's my suit?" Rhodey asked.

"Fake Rhodey still has it. Don't worry, I'm gonna get it back. Come on, you'll want to see her land." Tony led Rhodey out onto the grounds. He noticed, but didn't comment, that Rhodey hesitated before leaving the building. Maybe that explained why none of the other rescued people were visible, if even Rhodey was having to accustom himself to freedom.

"So, why don't I hear any.... holy SHIT," Rhodey said as Captain Danvers streaked down to land on her feet. "How does she DO that?"

"According to Fury's file, she was caught in an explosion powered by something like the tesseract and... absorbed it? She's been off Earth since 1989." Tony made the executive decision not to mention that she'd been helping the Skrull.

"Captain Danvers," Tony said, to break the silence as Carol stared at Rhodey who stared back. "This is my best friend, Colonel James Rupert Rhodes."

"Colonel," Carol said, and saluted him.

"Captain," Rhodey said, embarrassed because etiquette prevented him from returning the salute as he was out of uniform. Captain Danvers was following the optional rule of saluting a known superior even when out of uniform, but he disliked the disparity. "I apologize for being out of uniform. The Skrull kept mine."

Carol frowned. "I heard. I'm sorry. I didn't know they were doing that." Then she smiled. "But what you have on looks good."

Wow, Tony thought, that's pretty blatant. Then again. Rhodey's borrowed clothes are a size too small. Fits him the way Rogers' SHIELD t-shirts (chosen by fanboy Coulson, no doubt) always did.

Rhodey smiled. "You look great. Honest to God, you're the best thing I've seen in a long time."

"What about me?" Tony said.

"Shush, Tones," Rhodey replied. "You're not a beautiful woman. They had us separated, men in one pod, women in another. We could look... but not touch."

Tony knew his place as wingman. "Rhodey is amazing. Did I tell you? Not only does he pilot the War Machine, he's a literal rocket scientist. Went through M.I.T. with flying colors at the same time he was acing his ROTC training. He dances and ..."

Carol laughed at the same time Rhodey face-palmed. She said, "That's good to know, but I came to debrief about Thanos before I leave to gather more information on him."

"Who?" Rhodey asked.

"Oh, Rhodey, you need so much catching up," Tony said. "He's the big bad who was behind Loki. We're not supposed to say his name."

"That's what makes finding information on him difficult," Carol said. "People are frightened even to talk about him." Carol came in. As she passed Rhodey, she said, "I am really sorry. I've always been stubborn and once I make up my mind I don't listen to anything that goes against it."

"Um," Rhodey said. "What?" He looked to Tony for an explanation.

"Another part of a long story. Did the Skrull tell you why they're letting you go?"

Rhodey laughed. "Yeah, but I don't know that I believe it. A colony on Mars? Tones, you're incredible, but even you have limits. How did you get them to buy that story?"

"By letting them visit the colony," Tony said.

"Right," Rhodey said. He didn't sound convinced.

Tony, JARVIS, Pepper and Friday talked to Carol, dredging up even things she had forgot, rumors, folk tales, survivors' stories. All bits she'd heard in passing and not paid much attention to because she was determined to stick to her mission of protecting the Skrull and other victims of aggression and not be sidetracked. Rhodey listened, and became more and more grim. When the barbers and hairdressers, all under NDA, arrived, Rhodey said, "Put me last," and continued listening.

JARVIS sorted the information according to reliability (much like the way current reports of Tasmanian tiger sightings are assessed) and importance. The number of sightings of Thanos's most valued 'daughter' seen on lone missions with no obvious aim- as in, she seldom killed anyone, and even then, they were isolated deaths, gave credence to rumors that she was searching for something. No one knew what it was, and opinions were divided on whether it would be a good idea to give her whatever Thanos wanted in hopes of appeasing him, or making sure she didn't get it because Thanos's whims were never conducive to the public good.

"She's after Infinity Matter," Tony said. He wasn't sure what they were, stones, gems, aether, so matter seemed a good compromise. "Why only her, though? It doesn't sound like any of his other trusted minions are on the job?"

"The Kree, Ronan the Accuser, tried to ally with Thanos," Carol said. "He got one of the Infinity Stones and started to use it on Xandar. He failed. Here's where I doubt the witnesses. They said a Terran defeated him by singing, badly, and dancing, equally badly."

There was silence for a moment. "Yeah, I don't buy it," Tony said, although he filed it away as a possible tactic. He could sing pretty good and at least his dancing was enthusiastic.

Carol shrugged. "I saw the devastation afterward. Much of their space patrol was destroyed and a good part of the capital city. That was with a few seconds use of one Infinity Stone, by someone inferior in strength to Thanos. However he failed, he was obviously seeking the stone for himself, so I assume Thanos decided not trust anyone except Gamora."

"If this dancing and singing whatever hadn't worked," Rhodey asked. "Do you think Ronan could have destroyed Xandar. A whole planet?" Rhodey asked in disbelief.

Carol nodded. "It might have killed him, too. But he could have done it. Thanos... I don't know if anyone has ever tested his limits. It's possible he could wield all six of the stones at once. And if he did..." Carol spread her hands. "Whatever he wanted would happen. And what Thanos always wants is suffering and death. I suppose he'd leave some people alive, because you can't suffer after you're dead."

"My god, that's..." Pepper shook her head. "And no one has been able to stop him?"

"No, at best, he's in a good mood and only kills half the population. That's usually when a child amuses him and he takes them to raise as his own. Like Gamora."

"Jesus," Tony said, "and then they kill for their 'father'. That's sick. So sick."

"Yeah," Rhodey said, "But what about the stone Ronan had? What happened to it?"

"The Nova Corps of Xandar took it for safe keeping," Carol said.

"Took it. Can they use it?" Rhodey asked.

"No, they're about on a par with Terrans, strength wise. I doubt any of them could even touch it and survive," Carol said.

"So, what's to stop Thanos from sending in his army, and grabbing that stone?" Rhodey asked.

"Well, they DO have a fleet. What's left of it." Carol looked thoughtful. "But if Thanos gets past that they'd be helpless to stop him. I might be able to use it. I'm fairly sure I could at least carry it safely."

Pepper said, "Could you hide it? Somewhere even Thanos couldn't get it?"

"I don't know...he travels everywhere." Carol gave a short laugh. "It would have to be a place that doesn't exist."

Tony blinked. "Like... a mirror dimension?"

"What's that," Carol asked.

"Something a wise old lady can do. If I could convince her to lend a hand, we might be able to hide the infinity stones, even the ones we can't use. Vision is fine, he can just go sit in prehistoric Australia and play with the dropbears, but the others..."

"Um, Tony, what have you been drinking?" Rhodey asked.

"Nothing, that's a problem. We should all have a drink to celebrate my brilliance... and Pepper's brilliance. And Rhodey and Carol and..." TOBY toddled up, burbling, carrying the two pups wrapped up in a suspiciously familiar cloak.

"Strange!" Tony said.

"Yeah." Stephen said. "The flight was boring, so I skipped to the last book and ZAP, I'm here. I should learn read the warnings at the end of the spell though," he said. His beard looked a little singed. "What did I miss?"

Pepper got up. "I'll get the drinks. This is going to be a long night."

Chapter Text

Reluctantly, Rhodey got up when JARVIS told him a barber who specialized in black hair was free and that one of his uniforms had been located in storage and was being freshened up. "Don't go turning the world upside down while I'm gone," Rhodey told Tony.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Sugarbear," Tony said.

Carol watched Rhodey leave. "Maybe I should visit Earth more often," she said.

Tony grinned. Pepper narrowed her eyes at him so he didn't say anything.

"Yes," Dr. Strange said, "You really ought to."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Carol snapped.

Stephen spread his hands. "Your phrasing is telling. Not 'return home', but 'visit Earth'. You hadn't heard about the invasion in New York. You didn't know about the people your friends the Skrull kidnapped. You didn't know because you hadn't been here."

Carol frowned. "I know. It was the right thing, to leave. It wasn't like today when everyone talks about superheroes and they do whatever they please."

Tony cleared his throat. Pepper pinched his arm, and he subsided.

Carol glanced at him and then back to Stephen. "I was a Captain in the U.S. Air Force when the Kree took me and turned me into an unquestioning weapon. I didn't want to go back to the Air Force. I also didn't want to live like an ordinary person, get an ordinary job, get a new identity and just be... ordinary. Fury would have helped, if I agreed to work for him."

"Yeah, no," Tony said. "I agree, Fury's big on getting people to owe him favors and then he thinks he owns you."

Carol shrugged. "Probably. It didn't get that far. I didn't have many happy memories here, and it didn't really feel like giving something up to go out and save the people who didn't have anyone. And the longer I was away, the less I thought of Earth. It had changed so much even in the six years I'd been gone the first time, what was the point in going back? I'd be a stranger here, too, and it's easier to be a stranger when no one else looks like you."

Pepper said, "No one will stop you from leaving again. But I think it would be good for you to come home, from time to time."

Carol said softly, "No other skies are quite the same." She shook her head. "I'm not the subject here. What forces do you have already prepared to face Thanos? Thanos's flagship, 'Sanctuary II' is massive and powerful enough on its own, and he leads a fleet, crewed by various people who have no other home. Some are artificial constructs, according to rumors. He deals swiftly with space fleets, but he often draws out ground battle."

"No space fleets," Tony said. "I have a few ideas for armed satellites. They're not yet ready," he said, fudging it a little because he hadn't done it yet, but they would be there in the past, so he had... too confusing. "War ships? Not a chance."

Carol nodded. "If I have enough warning to arrive in time, I can take out Thanos' ships. But that's one at a time, and he has a lot. Even if these 'satellites' are effective, it won't stop him. Put up enough of a fight, though, and we could get his attention, make it a matter of pride, instead of letting his generals do it all while he watches. If we can get him to come out into the open..." She shrugged. "I don't know, but that's the best tactic I can think of right now."

"It's not much," Tony admitted, "but we do... will have? ground forces. Happy could tell you more... where is he?"

"He's talking down some of the generals," Pepper said. "They don't care that we'll need the Skrull to fight Thanos, and they don't believe their duplicates haven't overthrown the government. It's not all of them. They do know Tony got them released and figure he has a plan. You will have to talk to them, Tony. Happy has all the cars and jets locked down, but some of them are very fit, and quite willing to try walking to the nearest town."

"And we can thank Richard Simmons for that, too." Tony sighed and got up. "I can talk to generals. Been doing it most of my life. They're almost like real people. JARVIS, tell Carol the current status of the HEROES." Tony left the living room and headed for the main conference room, directed by JARVIS's subtle change in lighting.

"Gentlemen," Tony said, after a quick glance showed that none of the few female U.S. generals was present. "I regret having to impose on you further, but it is vital that you remain here without contacting anyone, for a short time longer."

"How short?" One of the generals asked. He was wearing an S.I. worker's uniform, but with dignity enough to make it military. His fresh crewcut glistened under the lights.

"Maybe two or three days." He held up his hands at the protest. "It's not fair, it's not right, but it's a tactical necessity."

That silenced them for a moment. Then another man said, "How do you know the Skrulls aren't lying to you? Using the time to destroy our readiness to fight them?"

"I won't lie. I suspect they were preparing to do just that."

Tony waited for the uproar to die down. "SHIELD was using them; among other things to keep their agents blameless no matter what they did. Several years ago two of SHIELD's own- humans, NOT SKRULL- released all of SHIELD's information into the internet, including everything they'd gathered from other organizations around the world. They did this with Nick Fury's blessing because the Hydra infestation had become a nuisance to him. They dropped helicarriers into the Potomac adding to the body count- no idea how many died world wide. One of the agents didn't even answer the summons, the other one showed up and dared them at the Congressional hearing to arrest her. The only reason I can think that she walked away free and clear was that Fury was pulling strings. At first I thought he had blackmail on the Senators and Congress, but maybe he'd just packed the place with his Skrull."

"JESUS, is Fury a Skrull, too?" A man asked.

"No. I have actually got a Skrull detector and can verify that Nick Fury is human. Up until recently, when I made them a better offer, he controlled the Skrull by teasing them with the offer of a homeland. He never did anything towards it, and they were losing patience. If they couldn't earn it, they were going to take it."

More silence and Tony could see them thinking.

"What are you giving them? And what are we getting in return, beyond our eventual freedom?" A very tall, very thin, general said.

"I'm giving them a home on a piece of unused property. And in return, they're allied with Earth against an approaching extraterrestrial army...a known threat whose tactics are reminiscent of Genghis Khan, not at all like the slow infiltration tactics of the Skrull."

"What unused property?"

Tony didn't really think he'd get away with being vague. Damn it, he'd hoped to wait longer before the reveal. "Mars."

Shouts about Tony's honesty, sanity, loyalty and otherwise filled the room.

Happy shouted, "SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP," over the noise. "GOD DAMN IT, PEOPLE. This is TONY STARK."

Tony wasn't sure why that made sense, but the shouting died down. "Thanks, Hap. Look, it's technical and complicated, and actually proprietary tech that isn't mine, but I have permission to use, that makes this possible. There is an underground city I had built on Mars. I thought it might come in handy, and with me, you know? The challenge. I had to see if I could do it and it's not as if there's zoning laws on Mars. So, I had this nice big empty city. Fury had a lot of not so nice big empty words.

"The Skrull were smart enough to trade up, and in return, all they ask is that we pretend they were a colony on Mars for ages. That they're nice peaceful folks, just refugees from yet another genocidal alien race- not the one I've heard is heading for us. And if we give them that city- not even all of Mars, just the one city- they'll ally to protect the solar system out of self-interest if nothing else."

"But they were... they did...they're the enemy!" A short general protested.

"History tells us that today's enemy is tomorrow's ally," tall and skinny said thoughtfully. "And often a strong economic partner."

"Yes," Tony said. "They can endure Mars environment a lot easier, and far less expensively than we can, by shifting their own bodies. Who knows what trade benefits might result? And they can damn well pay restitution to you all. Stark Industries will help, of course, but wouldn't you like to have shares in... well, whatever? Who knows? Mars, Unlimited?"

It took a while, but generals. Tony knew generals. A whole new army? That was really tempting, even if the soldiers were green.

The politicians were next. Even easier. Not quite bribes. Offers of influence. Hell, Tony'd been lobbying all his life. He knew what to offer, and how to offer it, so as to tempt, but not insult. Also, JARVIS had broken out the booze, which none of them had had for as long as the Skrull held them. A few promises to make sure their constituents would never know they were paid off, and that was that.

By the time he was done, he was done. Tony and Happy headed back to the living room. Rhodey had arrived. "Oh, yeah, that's my man," Tony said.

Rhodey grinned. His hair was smoothly cut, subtly oiled and he looked damn fine. The only uniform he had here was his dress uniform, complete with the medal he got when he and Tony saved the president. He was sitting next to Carol. Rather close. Tony mentally patted himself on the back. He was the best wingman.

"So, what are we up to?" Tony asked, reaching for a mug of coffee.

"Well," Stephen Strange said, looking up from the pups he was petting in the folds of his cloak, "you can forget about hiding Infinity Stones in another dimension. They're linked to this reality and without them, eventually the universe destabilizes. Not immediately, according to Viktor's mother. But eventually it would be a disaster of really Biblical proportions."

"Dogs and cats living together?" Tony said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Sure, if by 'together' you mean transformed into a chaotic mass of combined energy and matter, in a timeless flux. Either that, or we'd be absorbed by hell." Stephen shrugged. "She didn't get into too much detail in Viktor's primers."

"Well, that explains Viktor," Tony said, changing his mind and reaching for a bottle of Scotch.

Chapter Text

"What else did Viktor's schoolbooks tell you?" Tony asked.

"I've only skimmed them," Stephen protested.

"Pfft," Tony said, "You have an eidetic memory. Everyone says you show it off all the time. GIVE."

Stephen scowled at Tony. "Fine. Most of it would make no sense to you, and I'm bound not to teach any of the spells from it, unless I take my own apprentice, later. BUT, the comments and notations by Viktor and his mother aren't restricted." Stephen paused for dramatic effect.

Tony rolled his eyes.

Stephen smirked and said, "Apparently most people have some magical potential, but it's limited by their innate ability to connect with other dimensions. Viktor speculates that you need to be able to connect to at least one dimension strongly enough to siphon that energy to use in spells. The human body can only 'prime the pump' as it were. Doom has multiple potential connections, but relies almost exclusively on one where normal matter is vanishingly rare, and dark matter is... well... to the lifeforms there, normal, visible, and usable in everyday life."

"Huh," Tony said. "So he siphons dark matter to power his spells?"

Stephen nodded. "Viktor's mother warns against simply taking it, as that puts you in debt and..." He frowned. "Something about bargains with evil powers, risk to your soul, blah blah blah. As his apprentice, I'm currently drawing on his 'account' so I'm not in debt. I don't know how Viktor found his trading partners, but by experimenting, he's found what elements and materials get the highest return in his power levels."

"Do they want gold? Vibranium?" Tony asked, hoping it was something as simple as gold. He could supply Stephen with all of that he could ever need to power up.

"No, actually. Doom has a list pencilled in of 'goods' that did well. Mercury. Lead. Chromium. Beryllium. Asbestos. Arsenic, and so on."

Tony blinked. "Why the HELL is Latveria poor? Doom could make a fortune as the ultimate hazardous waste treatment company! Use his Dumbbots to handle the dangerous parts, and give his people employment with all the human to human interaction."

"That's a good question," Stephen said. "My guess is that hell-brain Doom didn't want to do anything so universally beneficial. I'll ask him about it, when I go back for more lessons." Stephen blinked. "I wonder what dimension the Ancient One and her cult uses... and if they trade or steal. Huh..."

Vision phased through a wall and came over to pat TOBY on his dome. "Greetings. Please, don't get up," he said to Carol who had tensed at the sight of him. "My presence appeared to disturb some of our... guests, so I thought it best to leave the doctors to finish their assessments without me. JARVIS told me there was a discussion about plans to deal with Infinity Stones and..." He indicated the Mind-Stone in his forehead, "I thought I might have useful input."

"Who are you?" Carol asked.

"My apologies, I am Mr. Stark's grandson, Vision Edwin."

Carol blinked and then seemed to shrug. "Carol Danvers. Sometimes known as Captain Marvel. I didn't invent it, but it sounds good, right?"

"Um," Rhodey said. "Tones...grandson?"

"During the Ultron debacle, Vision was..." Tony frowned at Rhodey's look of incomprehension. "How long did the Skrulls have you?"

Rhodey shook his head. "No idea. No calendar, no clocks. It was like being in Vegas, only without the fun. I don't even remember what I was doing or when it was they got me."

JARVIS said, "I will endeavor to bring you up to date, Colonel Rhodes. Would you wish to hear major events worldwide? Personal events? Chronologically organized, sorted by importance, or by interrelation leading to the current situation in which Sir is organizing a defense of Earth, and now Mars, via time travel and more prosaic methods of recruiting extraordinary people?"

"Speaking of extraordinary people..." Rhodey looked around. "Where are the Avengers? Isn't Rogers a tactical expert, shouldn't he be here, at least? And Banner... isn't he your science bro?"

There was a long moment of silence before Tony went into semi-hysterical laughter that went on for a while.

"Does he do this often?" Dr. Strange asked. "Traumatic brain damage may cause pseudobulbar affect, but I had not considered it."

"Brain damage?!" Rhodey leaned forward. "What the HELL?"

Pepper patted Tony on the back. "No, it's just... what you said, it's funny in a morbid way. And Tony's been overworking even more than usual."

Tony shook his head. Then he pinched the inside of his arm, hard. "Ouch... Ok... all good now." He looked at Rhodey. "That's a hell of a long story. It started with rubber duck debugging after the Ultron business, when I realized the Avengers were..." Tony waved his hand. "Not my team. So I nudged them out the door, and right after that, new opportunities opened up. Actually got on speaking terms with Hank Pym. Oh, and Banner?" Tony made a hands up, who knows, gesture. "He disappeared because... reasons. I have NO idea where he is. I met Strange because I needed my head examined."

Dr. Strange lifted his hand. "He really did. Probably still does."

Tony shook his head. "Went on an adventure in a place that doesn't exist, with my faithful octobot." TOBY waved his tentacles. "Found out a lot of Fury's dirty little secrets. It's... it's a really long, complicated series of events, involving a lot of people you don't know. That's just what I remember off the top of my head. We really don't have time to get into it now. Maybe JARVIS could edit it and print it out for you."

JARVIS helpfully said, "Currently estimated reading time approximately sixteen hours postulating an average reading speed."

"Huh," Rhodey said. "Damn, you've been really busy."

"He finally proposed to Pepper, too," Happy said. "I've felt unbalanced ever since, without the ring box in my pocket."

"Oh, yeah, that's how I've bought an opal mine in Australia. Good excuse to build a time traveling defense satellite factory fifty thousand years in the past."

Rhodey blinked. "Do you have anything stronger than Scotch?"

Chapter Text

Tony got up to mix an Aunt Roberta if he could find blackberry liqueur, but then his brain backtracked to something Rhodey had said when they hugged, when no one else was around. "Rhodey, Gravik chose you because you were an Avenger, and it was just pure chance he didn't take Sam Wilson?"

"Yeah," Rhodey said, off-hand, "plus of course, Wilson couldn't get as close to Fury as I could."

Tony stopped looking for booze. "Rhodey. When did you become an Avenger? When did Sam become an Avenger? He wasn't even considering it at the party we held in the tower."

Rhodey laughed. "What, how could I forget it was... it was..." Rhodey's face went blank. "Tones. I... I don't know. What?"

Tony said, "It was after Ultron. After Vision was born. I'm sorry, Rhodey."

"Well... fuck, how..." Rhodey said. His face crumpled. "What happened?"

Dr. Strange stood up and said, "We'll find out. That's why I'm here. JARVIS, alert the medical staff. Verbal cognitive testing, and, where feasible, MRI's and possibly CT scans for all the recovered people."

"What happened to me?" Rhodey asked. "Am I... brain damaged?"

Dr. Strange looked irritated. "I don't make uniformed diagnoses. But if you insist on a guess, then the Skrull 'simming' that records recent memories might occasionally 'glitch' and create lacunae in the hippocampus during the processing of short term to long term memory. It could be temporary or permanent, and the extent of the gaps could be only a few specific events, or the memory could be there, but not accessible. You know you are an Avenger. You just don't remember when or how that happened."

"Honestly," Tony said, "there's a lot that happened that day that I'd like to forget. None of it was fun." He actually hoped Rhodey didn't remember standing there while Thor choked him. He hoped he'd never know what Rhodey had been thinking, that Rogers would stop it, that if Rhodey said anything Thor might kill Tony... or had Rhodey thought that Tony actually deserved it?

Rhodey shook his head. "Right. Yeah." He rubbed at his face. "Nothing important at all." He drew a deep breath and stood up. "Let's find out."

TOBY went over to Rhodey and patted him on the shoulder. "Yeah," Rhodey gave a short laugh. "Thanks, little guy. It'll be fine. I'm sure." Rhodey left the room, following Dr. Strange to the medical unit.

Carol clenched her fists. They were glowing. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't know. They... they... oh. They made me remember things I'd forgot. I didn't know they could make people forget."

No one said anything for a moment. Then Happy said, "Maybe we need those little green bastards, but I'm not letting one get near me."

Tony nodded. "Xavier said he'd give me blueprints for a device to prevent anyone getting into my mind. JARVIS, please call the professor, and if the blueprints are available, transmit them to my workshop here." He looked at Sentinel 42, who was standing silently in a dim corner, overlooked by everyone, despite his bright graffitti. "42 on no account are you to allow a Skrull to touch Pepper."

42 nodded solemnly (all right so his face is always solemn, it's the principle of the thing) and moved to stand behind Pepper. Pepper opened her mouth as if to protest, and then she nodded.

Carol looked rather lost. "I should go."

"You should stay," Tony said. "You never did get your pizza last time. Don't worry. Dr. Strange is the best brain guy."

"I heard that," Stephen's voice came from out of nowhere.

Tony shook his head. "As I was saying, Dr. Strange is the best brain guy I could get on short notice."

Stephen's disembodied voice huffed.

Tony smirked for a moment. "Rhodey is in good hands," he told Pepper.

Chapter Text

Vision and 42 tilted their heads at the same time JARVIS said, "Sir, the 'guests' are expressing extreme displeasure at the implication they may have impaired memory. Some are claiming it is a nefarious ploy to somehow benefit Stark Industries by decreasing their intelligence through the MRI... somehow." JARVIS sounded baffled by the idea that S.I. would wish to deal with even less mentally competent authorities than the current group.

"Well, shit," Tony said, tiredly. He turned towards the dormitory section, where all the generals and politicians had been temporarily housed. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends."

"I'll go," Carol said. She stood up and had a determined look on her face. "I can explain it to them as well as you. Probably better." Without waiting for permission she strode off.

Happy said, admiringly, "Yeah, they'll listen to her. After looking at her."

Pepper gave Happy a narrow-eyed glare.

Happy raised his hands, appeasingly. "I mean, the COSTUME. She looks like Captain America's sister. Who wouldn't trust her?"

"She does have an honest face," Tony said.

Pepper gave Tony a narrow-eyed glare. Then Bruce and Tiger whimpered. "You get away with that right now, because your children are hungry."

Tony fetched the Tasmanian Devil milk-replacer from the stasis unit (high class refrigerator and instant rewarmer) from the bar and brought two bottles over to the couch.

"Hey, my turn," Happy said, and grabbed a bottle to feed Tiger, or maybe Bruce. Happy never checked their undercarriage.

Vision asked, "May I?"

Tony figured it was good practice. If and when he and Pepper had kids, it would be handy to have a near indestructible baby sitter. From what Tony had read, mom and dad personal time was pretty limited if you didn't have close family to help out. "Sure," Tony said, and gave Vision the other bottle. "Remember to burp them."

Pepper got up. "I have to go now. I have an appointment with the U.N. Special Advisor of the Secretary-General on the Responsibility to Protect in a few hours but first I need to talk with Talos about this latest..." She scowled. "Latest problem he didn't mention."

42 moved to stand beside her.

Tony was torn. He wanted to be with Pepper, especially when she was in the presence of Skrull, but he didn't want to reduce her authority with them, and also... Rhodey needed him. "You have your contact button?"

"Yes," Pepper said. She rubbed her shoulder. "And the tracker."

"I've upgraded the signal a little," Tony said. "It now will call a suit to you." He huffed. "I didn't have time to make you a new one. It's going to be blue and silver. Classy, not the red and gold bling I wear."

"That's fine." Pepper leaned forward to kiss Tony. "A little bling never hurt a girl."

"And you have ME," Friday said from Pepper's phone, sounding offended. "As if I would ever let anyone hurt Ms. Boss."

Pepper smiled.

Happy didn't look up from feeding his pup, but he muttered, "I should go with you, too."

"And then who would be here to help Tony?" Pepper asked.

Happy scowled. "Damn it. All right, but if that Talos even looks at you cross-eyed, don't wait to call him out on it. I know his kind. Give them an inch and... and they take over your body."

Tony blinked. "His kind?"

"You know, pull you into the basement and hang you up in cocoons from the rafters in their spaceship."

Tony tried to count all the different TV and movies Happy had conflated, but he gave up after Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Cocoon and Star Gate Atlantis.

"I'll be careful," Pepper said, smiling. She looked out over the lawn to the Starkcopter landing pad. "My pilot is waiting for me. Talos and Gravik will be meeting me in Washington DC."

"Who will they be copying?" Tony asked.

"No one," Pepper replied. "I insisted they come as themselves. I already cleared it with Mr. George Okoth-Obbo. He knows they're aliens and we'll be meeting at a secure location, but not in a sensitive area. One of the private homes the C.I.A. keeps in the area, with enough room to land the helicopter discreetly. After S.I. helped with the aftermath of the SHIELD data dump they don't mind doing us a few favors."

"Are you going to mention that Skrull can copy humans?" Tony asked.

Pepper shrugged. "As a show of good faith, I'd like to start out with that, but since I don't want negotiations to last forever and have them distrust that I'm even ME, I want at least a preliminary agreement from Mr. Okoth-Obbo to argue their case as victims of genocide before that reveal. Since they're not asking for physical assistance, and I'll have the video Talos took of the colony on Mars, I hope it will seem reasonable to him to at least speak for them at the U.N., without the U.S. military getting involved."

"And then you mention He Who Should Not Be Named," Tony said. He was sure Pepper was over simplifying her plans, but he trusted her skills. "But how will you convince him that Thanos even exists? Much less that we need to make concessions to allies against him?"

"I will go, too," Carol said, striding into the room. She handed Pepper her pager. "Call me at the proper moment, and I will fly down to explain what I know of the threat. It should at least convince him that there are powers beyond his current understanding."

Happy looked up. "Jeeze, you're quiet on your feet. Have you ever boxed?"

Carol grinned at Happy. "Yes."

"What weight class?"

Carol's fists glowed. "All of them."

Chapter Text

Tony went out with Vision to watch Pepper and Sentinel 42 boarding the Starkcopter. He noticed a smiley face sticker placed over the center of the graffiti daisy on 42's chest. Tony pointed at it.

Sentinel 42 said, "I intended to remove the art, but TOBY..."

Tony said, "TOBY's right. Pep, back me up."

Pepper turned from talking to the pilot to smile at Sentinel 42. "It suits you, 42."

Tony made a mental note to bring 42 along when they found the black and red spider kid, just to see his reaction. He gave Pepper a quick kiss and watched the copter take off before he returned to the building.

Carol had already gone to await Pepper's signal. Tony suspected she didn't want to see Rhodey after Dr. Strange examined him and feel guilty. Tony thought Carol ought to have her head examined too, but he wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. He still remembered how not fun it was when someone with the power of lightning was angry at him. Carol might not strangle, but she was awfully quick to glow up her fists.

He left Happy and Vision with the pups, while he returned to their involuntary guests and worked to keep tempers cooled, and try to avoid panic. Luckily he'd had extra everything brought including lots of technicians, so the MRIs were going quickly. So far, their brains showed no damage. They had mostly been taken during times when nothing particularly memorable happened so it was impossible for them to think back-- and some had been in the 'goldfish bowl' a long time so even if there was a gap it could just be normal forgetting routine events.

Tony returned to the living room once all the politicians and generals settled into making plans for what they'd do once they were free. It took a while before he felt they were all convinced that telling people they'd been replaced by aliens would only harm their careers. Even if people believed them, they'd never be trusted again. JARVIS helped by giving each of them access to everything their duplicates had done publicly. For the most part, the Skrull hadn't done anything the originals wouldn't have done, with the main, glaring exception of favoring the people Fury singled out, hiring and promoting and protecting from various shady acts.

"Took lessons from J. Edgar Hoover," one of the older politicians said. "Efficient, blackmailing bastard." He suddenly looked worried. "Don't repeat that. I have nothing but respect for Nicholas Fury."

Tony wondered how many of the copied people had been on Fury's shit list. Efficient blackmailing bastard indeed.

JARVIS said, "SIR, I believe I have located the individual responsible for 42's decoration." An image appeared, a freeze frame from 42's memory, overlaid with a posed school photo, shifted and distorted until the perspective showed an unmistakable facial identity. "He is fifteen years old, attends Brooklyn Visions Academy, and his name is Miles Morales. His mother, Rio Morales, is a nurse. His father is Jefferson Davis, a police officer."

"Divorced? Separated?" Tony asked. "I mean, with mom and kid not having dad's name. Or is that a cultural thing?"

"Miles' parents are legally, and from all appearances, happily, married." JARVIS said.

"Ok, good to know. The kid's gonna need support once they find out. If they don't already know, which I'm guessing they don't, or he wouldn't be zipping around town in cheap spandex risking being shot. Or stabbed... Or... whatever. Mostly shot or stabbed, I guess. He's not big league enough to get enemies with lasers and robot armies."

JARVIS said, "Officer Davis been known to publicly disparage the vigilante wearing the black and red spider costume."

"That sounds... really awkward," Tony said. "Yeah, gonna have to have a talk with him. Miles first." Tony had no idea what the father/son relationship was like, but either the father knew about Miles and was trying to throw off suspicion covering for him and risking his career, or he didn't know, and the kid was hearing his father trash talk his other identity. Neither sounded good. "Yeah, let's figure out a way to meet Miles. Need to know what I'm dealing with." Is it teenage rebellion, or is he inspired by his father and mother and trying to prove himself? "Gonna be tricky. You know, it's kinda creepy when a rich guy wants to talk to a kid alone..."

"Why not do a school presentation?" Happy suggested. "Bring TOBY and the art gallery, see if he jumps and sticks to the ceiling."

Tony grinned. "Good idea. I can toss out a few gentle hints, pass out invites to tour S.I. and maybe mention how I like to visit the roof garden. Give him a chance to fess up before I out him to his dad."

Vision said, "I do hope it does not come to that."

"Me, either," Tony said, "but this isn't the kind of secret I'm willing to keep. I haven't tried to find out who Daredevil is, even though I'm fairly sure he'll get himself killed one of these days. DD is an adult, Miles is a kid. He doesn't really know what he's got himself into. It's all fun flying around at first, but things... they pile up. Eventually they'll find out. If they're lucky, it won't be because they have to identify him in the morgue."

Happy stood up. "Not gonna happen. I bet you've already got a suit for him."

Tony shrugged. "Well...I do still have plenty of my dad's vibranium alloy. Spun into fibers it goes a long way." He smiled. "Pepper approves of recycling."

Chapter Text

"I should be returning to Australia," Vision said. "The first shipment of supplies from Stark Industries is due to arrive, and I must complete work on the anti-intruder measures around the factory and launch area in the past. I'm considering a combination of ultrasonic repellers and caches of aromas to simulate the presence of the large predators. However it will take some experimentation, and there is the concern that during mating season, the scent might instead attract the predators."

"Don't let the drop bears get you," Tony said.

"While I thank you for your concern, grandfather, it is unnecessary. Apparently I do not smell edible."

Tony let the 'grandfather' remark pass, even though Happy chuckled. "I'll ramp up production on Tonium for the power, but it's going to take a while to locate sufficient materials durable enough to last fifty thousand years for the outer structure of the satellites and their missiles. Even if the EDITHS have automated repair droids, sourcing supplies will..."

EDITH said, "Be very easy, Sahib. Vibranium is an extralunar material."

"You mean, extraterrestrial," Tony corrected.

"Well, some is, Sahib. But the majority of the vibranium meteor shower impacted on the far side of the moon over fifty thousand years ago, thus defining it as extra'lunar'. My sisters and I are largely composed of it. I'm pleased to report it has held up well over time."

Tony blinked. "So, one of the rarest substances on Earth..."

"Has been waiting on the moon for Vision. In large quantities," EDITH sounded smug. "Once the first shuttle is completed at Prehistoric Australia Space Transport, Vision will be able to collect the material with no difficulty and no effect on human history as no one was able to see the far side."

"Huh." Tony smiled at the acronym, he could almost hear the capitalization. "You are the world's best deus ex machina, EDITH."

"I know," EDITH said.

Tony laughed so hard he had to sit down.

Happy passed him a puppy. "I've got to go too, Boss. Everyone's settled down with all the doctors and too busy being pissed off at Fury to make any great escape plans, so I can go back to ferreting out Beck's moles." He smiled, pleased at his turn of phrase. "That's right, ferrets go after moles, right?"

Tony patted Happy on the shoulder with the hand that wasn't holding a squirming puppy. "Have fun hunting."

Happy grinned. "I will, Boss."

Once Happy and Vision left there was nothing to stop Tony from checking on Rhodey. He packed the pups into their carrier, which did have a faint pee smell. Baby pee is less stinky, Tony read, but stinky enough. He was only going to the medical center in order to get a supply of wipes gentle enough for baby Bruce and Tiger. That's all. It wasn't as if he was impatient to find out how Rhodey was.

"A stamped letter on the sidewalk," Rhodey was sitting on an examination table and grumbling when Tony went in. "Look, how old is that test?"

"Old," Dr. Strange said. "But I do get interesting results from it. Hardly anyone gives either of the two expected responses."

"Which are?" Tony said, a bit annoyed that they were pretending they didn't notice him. "Love your outfit," he said to Rhodey, who pulled his backless gown around him a little closer.

"Placing it in the mailbox, or opening it. The second one indicates a personality disorder, according to the creator of the test," Dr. Strange said as he took off his rubber gloves and deposited them in a disposal unit.

"I can't even FIND a mailbox, these days," Rhodey said.

"And what if it had anthrax in it?" Tony replied.

"So, what would either of you do?" Dr. Strange asked.

"Have JARVIS scan it," Tony said immediately. "If it looked harmless and unimportant I'd leave it. If it looked dangerous I'd have a Sentinel come and safely destroy it."

"What if it was some old lady's social security check?" Dr. Strange asked.

"You said STAMPED. The government doesn't use stamps," Tony replied.

Rhodey nodded. "I'd just mind my own business and keep on going." He shrugged. "Not even thinking about it maybe being dangerous. Just, you know, I mind my own business, like my momma taught me."

"Hmm," Dr. Strange said. "Well, the MRI and all the cognitive tests show no apparent damage. If there had been an injury, it healed without trace."

"So... I just... carry on and pretend I didn't lose a couple days?" Rhodey's shoulders tensed.

Dr. Strange nodded. "I can't see it affecting you in any significant way. All your skills remain intact."

"JARVIS will tell you everything," Tony said.

Rhodey pushed off the examination table and got to his feet. "I'd rather hear it from you, Tones."

"Right. Ok, but I have to take care of Bruce and Tiger first. Got any baby safe wet wipes, Doc?"

Stephen handed Tony a box. "I'm not a pediatrician or a veterinarian, Stark. But this should do."

"Thanks." Tony put the makeshift pouch down on the examination table, and took out Bruce- by this time he could tell them apart at a glance. Bruce was a slightly paler color and just the least bit larger than Tiger.

"Puppies, you got puppies?" Rhodey said, leaning close. "I never thought you'd....HOLY shit," Rhodey said when Bruce complained about his butt wiping with a big gaping yip, jaws opened to full stretch. "What the hell is that!"

"That's Bruce," Tony said, making the pup wave a paw. "And his sister, Tiger. Remember I said I had time traveled fifty thousand years into the past in Australia? They're Tasmanian tigers... only they were Australian tigers, back then."

"Are they gonna grow up and eat you?" Rhodey said suspiciously.

"Never, they love me!" Tony held Bruce up to his face.

Bruce nipped at Tony's nose with his sharp baby teeth and Rhodey laughed.

Tony felt hearing Rhodey laughing again was worth the nip.

Chapter Text

Tony and Rhodey sat up talking most of the night, with Friday and JARVIS adding short video clips and explanations whenever Tony got muddled. Which happened a lot. And not because of tequila. Since Tony was watching Bruce and Tiger, he'd been a responsible pet parent, and stuck to fruit juice and water whenever his voice began to fail.

Somewhere along about dawn, long after Tony had showed Rhodey how to give the pups their last feeding of the day and put them to sleep in a clean fake pouch, Rhodey, who had been drinking tequila, said, "OK, now I forgive you for not... not...you know. Because, you did... you did a lot, man." Rhodey sat up straight. "Hey, do you think Rogers still thinks that I'm... you know...gung ho for him? Because I'm not. And... and if I saw him right now, I'd punch him." Rhodey looked at Tony solemnly. "He's not a real captain, so it's not... inbusti... unsublin...insub... you know, that thing with superior officers."

Tony grinned. "Yeah, I got the picture. Hey, Sugarbear, how about you drink some water for me?"

"Sure. I can do that." Rhodey took the water that Tony poured for him and drank. Then he belched. "Wow, scuse me. That's never happen before." He stared accusingly at the water bottle. "You put something in that?"

"Nope. You've just had a long day," Tony assured him. "Come on, Rhodes, I have a bed with your name on it." Tony helped Rhodey to his feet.

"That's nice." Rhodey patted Tony on the head. "You're a good friend, Tony."

Pepper showed up not long after Tony put Rhodey to bed. The Starkcopter came down at the further landing pad. Pepper had probably told the pilot to land there, to avoid waking up their guests. Tony had been waiting up for her, and he met her at the entrance. "How'd it go?" he asked quietly. Not that anyone was around to hear him besides Pepper and 42. Just pre-dawn it feels weird to talk at a normal volume.

"Fine," Pepper said. She leaned against 42 to take off first one, and then the other, of her shoes. "Mr. Okoth-Obbo was very sympathetic." She giggled. "Talos is a great actor, he almost had me believing him. All those years, timidly watching their neighbors on Earth. So shy, because we look like their persecutors."

Tony grinned. "You're punch drunk."

Pepper tilted her head. "Adrenalin drop, yes. You know how it is, walking the negotiation tightrope, when you're not sure you can trust your side to remember their role. And all the polite smiling and hoping that Fury doesn't decide it would be fun to pop up and ruin everything by telling the truth."

Tony nodded, and brushed her hair back with his fingers, moving in to take her weight away from 42. "Yeah, but you know Fury, he's all about the secrets. It would kill him to give one up, unless he was getting full value and then some in return."

"True, true." Pepper nodded. "Also, he's supposed to be dead, but he could get around that, I'm sure. Maybe he was only mostly dead."

Tony grinned. "But he didn't die for true love."

Pepper giggled again. "Take me to bed, Tony... and..."

"And?" Tony asked.

"Rub my feet." She put her arms around his neck. "I have quite possibly saved us from going to war with the Skrull. I deserve a foot rub."

"As you wish, my Queen," Tony said, managing a creditable princess carry. "Good job 42, protecting our queen," he said over his shoulder.

42 straightened. "It is an honor."

TOBY bumbled up to 42 and gave him a gold star sticker.

Tony woke up and lay still for a long moment, just appreciating the warmth and scent of Pepper, a combination of her favorite perfume and just...her. He listened to her breathing and then sat up and let out a yelp of surprise. 42 was standing in the doorway, looking out, but the splash of yellow from his spray painted daisy extended enough around his side to make him recognizable. Tony got up, careful not to wake Pepper, threw on a robe and went over to 42.

"What's wrong? Why are you here?" Tony asked quietly.

42 looked at Tony. "I do not know of any specific, current issues, sir. I am here to protect my queen. There are potential hostiles on the premises."

Tony rubbed his hand through his hair. "Ok, yeah, point, if you don't include Rhodey and Strange, none of our guests are on the definite friends' list, but you could have stood guard outside the room. Pepper and I might have been having a private moment."

42 tilted his head.

"And if we were," Tony added "we might have been...not quiet, so don't burst in if you hear our voices, maybe a few noises."

42 tilted his head the other way. "Understood." 42 paused. "Can you describe the types of noise I am to classify as 'private'?"

Tony opened and shut his mouth a few times. "It... It's variable."

JARVIS said, "I have a library of videos you may analyze of Sir having private moments, 42."

"No! No," Tony said. "No, do not. I tell you what, I have a better idea 42. If there's a sock draped over the doorknob it means we're having private moments."

42 said, "A sock?"

"Yes, it's... you know what? We'll just lock the door." Tony turned back to see that Pepper was awake, sitting up in bed, and turning pink with her efforts to hold in her laughter.

"A sock. Oh, my God, Tony Stark is so suave, so sophisticated... a sock."

Tony grinned. "Half the door locks in M.I.T. are broken, mostly due to drunken lockouts- at $150 for a second time lost key replacement it's a temptation to think 'hey I'm an engineer I can fix this with the nearest tool like object', but a sock was always honored."

"I wish we had time for a sock hop today," Pepper said wistfully. "But I need to ride herd on Talos and get him up to date on U.N. protocol. Mr. Okoth-Obbo thinks it best we move quickly to bring it before the appropriate committee. Just in case someone was listening at a keyhole or..."

Tony nodded. "It's not worth taking the chance, just to give us a break." Tony huffed. "I should be arranging a school presentation to try to flush out the new spider kid. Not sure what I should be talking about." Tony kept talking as Pepper got up and headed for the bathroom. "Should I have a speech prepared?"

"Yes, absolutely," Pepper said from in the bathroom, and then the water turned on. "You need something to ignore."

"I do not," Tony said. "Not always. Sometimes I even follow the teleprompter."

"I'm sure you'll think of something. It doesn't really matter what you say. S.I. has a wide variety of opportunities to offer young people, so just talk about the company, brag about the benefits, pass out the usual pamphlets. Try not to flirt."

"I won't FLIRT. These are kids," Tony said, affronted.

"I know, I know, but you get on stage and it's like you flipped a switch."

Tony grumbled. "I've been doing the act since I was four. No one wants the real Tony Stark talking to them."

The water shut off. Pepper came out wearing her shower robe. "I do. And I'm sure those kids would like to meet you, as you. Besides, you want this boy to be honest with you, so it's only fair that you be honest with him."

"I'll try," Tony said. "But I bet I'll bore them so badly they'll beg for one of Steve's PSA's instead."

Pepper laughed. "Well, you have to admit, they are very funny."

"They are, which is why I wonder if maybe Fury didn't sub in a Skrull. Rogers doesn't have a sense of humor."

Pepper began brushing her hair. "That seems a pointless thing for Fury to do."

"Yeah, but consider, it was in color, so it wasn't taken during his show pony days before the war. But!" Tony held up his hand, "he was wearing the uniform of that time. If Rogers agreed to do it, why wouldn't he be wearing his current uniform? So did someone borrow the recreated uniform from the museum exhibit to put on a Skrull? Recreated replacement, since Rogers 'borrowed' the first one when they did the data dump, and..."

"Tony. You're rambling. Are you really nervous about giving a speech at a school?"

"No. It's not that. It's just... I'm constantly running scenarios, because everything, everything, seems to link together somehow. Everything after Ultron, it's like it's all one giant web."

"Spider web?" Pepper said. "You're worried about the Spider kids?"

Tony shrugged. "I guess. I don't know why. They're just so young and... I know something terrible's coming, and I don't even know this Miles, but he has a family and I don't want to drag him into this. But he already is, because I wasn't able to stop Zemo, and if I don't find him, he's going out there, thinking he's invulnerable... in his god damn pajamas!"

Pepper wrapped her arms around Tony. "Breathe."

Tony took in a deep breath. "I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?"

"You're under a lot of stress," Pepper said. "And yes, you're being ridiculous. You're going to go out there, and find this boy and do your best for him."

"But kids, you know? They're all, how can you understand, I'm a special snowflake, you don't know. And he really IS."

"Well, then, introduce him to Ben and Peter."

"Huh. I really should marry you. You have all the best ideas."

"Only most of them," Pepper said. "The proposal was your idea, after all."

Tony grinned. "I do have my moments of brilliance, don't I?"

Chapter Text

Over coffee and pastries, Tony and Pepper discussed their immediate agendas. The 'sock hop' looked like being delayed indefinitely. Pepper said, "I have to go to Vienna, to the United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs. Mr. Okoth-Obbo has made arrangements for a meeting to introduce the Skrull to the U.N. and put their case for being allowed representation as a nation, before we can discuss treaties or alliances."

"Oh, yeah. UNOOSA should have handled Thor and Loki, but SHIELD claimed them too quickly."

"It would have been a huge jurisdictional argument, anyway," Pepper said, after drinking more coffee, "as they don't look alien."

Tony nodded. "And since they came by... I don't know interdimensional portals, wormholes?... you can't prove 'outer space' was involved. Unless Thor shows up with a spaceship one day."

"What are the odds on that?" Pepper said, looking mildly alarmed.

Tony shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe they have some as backups? Thor said their Einstein-Rosen Bridge was destroyed so All-Daddy Odin had to use... the Dark Force and could only send him?"

"Is that like Star Wars?" Pepper asked, half joking. "Is Odin a Sith?"

Tony blinked. "Good question. Maybe? The Norse legends have their names right, but the rest of it could be just stories around the campfire. JARVIS, ask EDITH, before she bounced Odin off Earth, was he a Jedi?"

EDITH said, "You can ask me directly, Sahib."

"Fine. EDITH, is Odin a Jedi?" Tony asked.

"The Force is strong with him, apparently," EDITH replied. "Going by some of the things he did while fighting the Jotun. But which Force it was, I couldn't tell."

"I was kidding," Pepper said. "The Jedi are imaginary. Aren't they?"

"If it does mind-tricks like a Jedi, and uses the force like a Jedi, what's the difference what you call it?" Tony said. "Hey, Dr. Strange could be a Jedi knight!" Tony said loudly, as he noticed the flicker of Stephen's cloak around the corner.

"No, Dr. Strange can not be a Jedi knight," Stephen said as he came to sit at the table. In addition to coffee, he had a bowl of scrambled eggs. "Dr. Strange has to get back to being a surgeon. Magic is a hobby." The corner of the cloak reached up and patted a lock of his hair in place. "Stop that," he muttered and began eating.

"Come on," Tony said, teasing, "I'll make you a lightsaber."

Stephen's fork paused. "What color?"

"I was thinking blue."

Stephen nodded. "Anything but purple."

"Yeah," Tony agreed. "Mace Windu just... for some reason he creeps me out."

Pepper and 42 left in the smaller Starkcopter to head for the airport to take the Starkjet to Vienna, while Stephen shared the Starkcopter (stretch version) limo with Dr. Cho and the excess medical staff going back to NYC. Tony wondered if Stephen was going to wear the cloak when he returned to the hospital after his sabbatical days ran out. He was probably going to use some of the time in collecting his insurance on his car and looking for another Lamborghini.

Tony couldn't remember the last time he bought himself a new car. Audi probably missed him. Oh, well... "JARVIS keep watching our guests for any signs of restlessness, and remind them that Pepper is negotiating as fast as she can. Hopefully, they'll be able to go home in a few days."

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS said. "Colonel Rhodes is experiencing some discomfort."

"Should have expected it. He's not in training." Tony went to the kitchen to retrieve toast, tomato juice, aspirin and coffee, along with a small bottle of Gatorade. He put it all on a tray and balanced it as he went to Rhodey's room. "Knock, knock," he said cheerfully. "Are you decent?"

The groan that followed encouraged Tony to open the door and peer inside the dimly-lit room. "I come bearing gifts."

Rhodey pulled his pillow over his head. "On a scale of one to 'never live it down', how embarrassing was I last night?"

"You were fine," Tony said as he placed the tray on the nightstand by the bed. "Sure, you did give a speech about Rainbow Dash being the best Pony, but TOBY agreed with you, so that was fine."

Rhodey took the pillow off and glared at Tony. "That's a lie. She's your favorite pony. Mine's always been Twilight Sparkle." He sat up and reached for the Gatorade. After drinking half the bottle in one go, he sighed. "Is there a plan? I mean, how am I going to get my life back? And what did my fake do to my reputation?"

Tony frowned. "There's a little bit of a plan. Sorta. Mostly we're just waiting for Pepper to get the U.N. to accept the Skrull publicly, and then I guess... meet and trade off with your duplicates?"

"Tones, that's not a plan."

"I know, I know. JARVIS is going over everything the Skrulls did publicly, and so far it looks like they did a good job of doing what you would have done. The Skrulls that Fury had doing nasty stuff all copied random people superficially, without taking their places, and changed their shapes frequently, but the ones who stayed in place were there mostly to make sure no one interfered with SHIELD, or Neo-SHIELD just by NOT doing anything against them. For you, well, Fury didn't place your duplicate, that was Talos's doing, and he had Gravik do whatever the Air Force ordered. He only wanted a copy of you in place in case he decided to kill Fury."

Rhodey took two aspirin and drank his tomato juice to wash them down. "Kinda sad he didn't do it. Except, you know, then I bet the Skrull would have got me killed to cover it up."

Tony didn't like to agree with that, but he couldn't disagree. "There are so few good people these days." Tony hugged Rhodey, who spluttered and moved his glass of juice so it didn't spill. "I missed you, honeybunch. Where would I be without your shining soul, your pure heart, your..."

"Stop, you're making it weird again," Rhodey said. "Gimme that toast, and tell me what I can do while I wait."

"Ok, got any suggestions how I can get an enhanced kid who's hiding his powers from his parents to trust me?"

"Kid," Rhodey said, flatly.

"Yeah, I told you last night, Miles Morales, fifteen years old, and spiderized, catch up, platypus... oh, hell, that reminds me I have to go feed the pups. Be right back."

"Wait," Rhodey said.

"Be right back. Hydrate!"

It took a few minutes to take care of Bruce and Tiger before he stuffed them into a clean pouch and returned to Rhodey who was now dressed in a Haven Harbor worker's uniform and looking more alert.

Tony plumped down on the bed. "I'm going to have to go to give a school presentation, and I can't bring the pups with me. Too many questions, we haven't begun setting up the explanation that doesn't involve time travel. So... Uncle Rhodey will watch you for me," Tony told the thylacines.

"Yeah, sure," Rhodey said. "Why not? They're cuter than some of the people you brought home at M.I.T."

"Eh, I had beer goggles on a lot of the time, then." Tony put Tiger into Rhodey's lap to let him pet her. "So, Miles."

Rhodey nodded. "What do you know about the kid?"

"Um... he's damn smart or he wouldn't have earned a place at Brooklyn Visions Academy. He likes art... at least... grafitti... he's sneaky and curious, going by the way he tricked 42 so he could get one of Zemo's spiders."

"So, show up and be mysterious? Maybe, like...I dunno, offer an on-line contest where the winners get... I don't know... these are kids, you can't offer them a tour without chaperones."

"Yeah, I know," Tony said. "Oh, I know! I could show up at his home and tell him he's won an internship at Stark Industries!"

Rhodey gave Tony a fish eyed look. "Without him entering? With no one ever having heard of this? And for what? Grafitti art?"

"Yeah, no." Tony slumped. "S.I. gets plenty of that for free." Tony sighed. "It's too bad, that would be so simple. Show up, talk it up as a big opportunity, get his parents to let me talk to the kid alone, maybe find his Spidey pjs and..."

Rhodey's look of disapproval grew. "No, Tones, no. I know your parents kicked you out of the nest at seven, so you learned to fly early, but no. It sounds like the easy way, but no."

Tony sighed and leaned against Rhodey. "Fine. I'll go to his school and be all adult and be all 'career day' bullshitting. SO boring, RHODEY, so boring."

Rhodey patted Tony on the back. "You'll survive."

Chapter Text

Tony talked Brooklyn Visions Academy into allowing him to give a school wide presentation in the auditorium, without going into details beyond saying he was bringing a Sentinel and TOBY. The magic word was TOBY, apparently. Everyone wanted to meet TOBY. So much so, he had to allow them a week to pass the word around to make sure everyone who wanted to attend would be there.

"You're a media star," he told TOBY, who burbled happily. The first TOBYs off the factory line were just entering service, and making good use of TOBY's copied personality, skills and experience data. They weren't all carbon copies, as they each continued to learn the specifics of their new jobs, but one thing they did all share was a love of self decoration. Tony considered buying stock in a sticker company.

It only took three days for the U.N. General Assembly to reach a consensus on a draft resolution allowing the Skrull to be accorded the status of sentient beings applying for membership as a nation. Resolutions aren't legally binding, but the fact that no nation disapproved of it strongly enough to call for a vote made it likely no one was going to put road blocks in the way. Carol Danvers had testified about the Kree's ongoing genocidal war against the Skrull, and Talos and Gravik had been humble. So humble. They even offered to convey a qualified group of astronauts, cosmonauts, anyoldnauts, from any nations, as passengers in one of the Skrull ships to visit their colony on Mars. Ships. Plural. And yes, they admitted they were undetectable to any Earth systems, which they apologized for, most humbly and deeply, but they needed to be able to hide from the Kree.

No one really bought the humbleness, Tony could tell, but even the hardest headed representative could see it was wise to at least pretend to be friends with aliens who could be anywhere, doing anything they pleased. And if the Skrulls lived in a city on Mars, well, better on Mars than on Earth, it's not as if we could tell them, no, we own Mars. Legally, we'd decided no one on Earth DID own anything in space. And after all, they'd been there for thousands of years without doing anything. Unless you believed the people who thought they'd been picked up by little green men and anally probed. Talos's expression when someone mentioned that had been priceless. The TV stations had shown that clip a LOT, where Talos had been flustered enough to say, "Well, if you like that sort of thing, I don't judge, but isn't it unsanitary?"

There had been informal meetings with the Security Council as well. Those meetings were going more slowly, but again, Captain Danvers had stepped up to discuss not only the Kree, but Thanos. In order to prevent world-wide panic, none of the meetings had progressed beyond the informal stage so none had been made public. Tony took it for a good sign that Carol hadn't flown off in a rage and nothing got burnt down.

Once the Skrulls were on TV and the internet, shaking hands and smiling with world leaders, Pepper returned to Haven Harbor along with 42. Slipping the returned people back into their lives began, with them meeting their duplicates under the watchful electronic eyes of Sentinels in neutral, isolated areas, in order to learn any last minute details they might need, and occasionally for the generals and politicians to vent their anger. The Sentinels kept it down to merely verbal assault, and it went more smoothly than it might have. The returnees also had been given contact information for therapists, if they chose to use them.

It was complicated, but with Vision, JARVIS, Friday, and not entirely surprisingly, TOBY, helping, it got sorted. TOBY would approach the most disturbed people with burbles, and tentative pats, and offers of stickers. Even if they turned him away, that marked them for closer observation by the psychologists and hostage specialists. It might take a few weeks for the last of them to be emotionally ready to go home, but most of them left within a few days.

"Sorry, I can't babysit," Rhodey said once Tony told him the school presentation date had been set. "I've been ordered to be on security guarding the Pentagon against invisible Skrull ships. I have to leave today."

Tony gave Rhodey a LOOK.

Rhodey shrugged. "Yeah, me, too. But 'ours not to reason why'."

"Yeah, it'll be all right," Tony said, "Gravik's still with Talos in Vienna, but he did release War Machine's controls, so JARVIS brought him home."

Rhodey made a face.

Tony added, "Pressure cleaned inside and out. I personally guarantee no Skrull cooties."

"I can handle it," Rhodey said. "I don't LIKE it, but I can handle it."

"If it helps," Tony said, "I added a little feature... it can now recognize Skrulls, and won't let one use it, even if they're simming you."

"Yeah. Yeah, that helps," Rhodey said. "Thanks."

"Hi!" Tony said as he walked out on stage, wearing a puppy pouch like a fashion statement. He's Tony Stark, of course it's a fashion statement. When he wore red high-tops to a gala the company sold out in two weeks. Pepper was in S.I. conferences and meetings pretty much non-stop to make up for the time she spent in Vienna, and there really wasn't anyone else he trusted to look after them, so puppy pouch it was. Eh, whatever, if the thylacines got outed, it would just accelerate their program. Vision was in past Australia, due to return in a few days for more supplies, and hopefully with a few adult thylacines to seed over in... whereever it was... Tasmania? Yeah.

Sentinel 42 and TOBY strode and tentacled out to stand on either side of him. "I'm sure you've all heard how our world has expanded recently, with our new little green friends. It's EXCITING!"

Tony waited for the cheers to die down. He waved them to silence. "I know there have been rumors that my Sentinels are a robotic army and I'll be siccing them on the Skrulls." Tony made a face. "That's not what they are, at all."

42 had been coached so he knew this was his cue. He stepped forward. "My purpose is to protect. To prevent harm to people. I am... young... and I may make mistakes." 42 gestured at his graffiti.

"Did you paint yourself?" a girl in the front row asked.

"No," 42 replied. "I was... tagged... by an anonymous young person. I do wish he had told me his name." 42 looked over the audience, tracking over them quite obviously.

Tony already knew Miles was there, and had seen him from backstage, so he was watching as Miles sank down in his seat... and then... vanished? Holy shit, Tony thought. That's a new one. Is he just invisible or did he teleport?

Tony stepped to 42's side. "Yes, I'd like to meet the young man. He's obviously very talented." Tony grinned. "He painted beautiful flowers. I could show him the rooftop garden at Stark Tower. The moonflowers are really pretty at night."

TOBY burbled and twirled. Tony laughed. "And this is TOBY. He's feeling a little neglected. Would anyone like to come up and meet him?"

Hands rose all over the auditorium, many of them holding stickers.

"Yeah. Ok." Tony really should have thought it out. The teachers didn't even try to hold back the kids, beyond making sure no one was tripped on the steps leading up to the stage.

TOBY was in his element, burbling and accepting stickers and being fussed over.

And then Bruce woke up and gave his YIP YIP FEED ME. Which of course woke up Tiger who made it stereo.

Yipping pups and a stage full of kids. Oh, well... "Yes, I have puppies," Tony said. "I found them wandering around. Their mom had been killed," he said, being absolutely honest. "By an eagle, a HUGE eagle. Big enough to carry off a dog."

Tony had never been side-eyed by so many people at once. "Well, it was in Australia? No, that other Australia," he said, hoping at least one of these bright young students was an inveterate proofreader.

"Tasmania," a girl said, and he wanted to pet her on the head, for letting his truth be mistaken for a lie which was more believable than 'past Australia'.

"Yes, that, they're dingles?" He spread the pouch open to show the pups. Both of whom had their mouths wide open.

"OH MY GOD!" the shrieks were very gratifying, even if they did confuse TOBY and made the pups flatten their little cookie-cutter ears.

Tony made a dignified retreat later after explaining how he had no idea they weren't dogs and he would get right on telling whoever was the right authorities where he found them so they could look to see if there were any more.

Tony was pretty sure no one would ever forget this school presentation.

Chapter Text

If Miles is anything like Ben and Peter, he'll have an 'always appetite' so Tony orders a variety of pizzas with extra cheesy breadsticks delivered to the Tower. He puts the order in his 'Always Hot' box on a table in the rooftop garden, and spends an hour or so moving the newly delivered potted moonflowers around so they'll show up best for someone crawling up the building, or webbing in.

He's a bit sorry he said 'moonflowers' because he didn't HAVE any, and when he ordered them and insisted on moonflowers, they delivered but it turned out you were supposed to plant them in the ground because they didn't do well in pots, and then he learned they were poisonous, and he didn't really want poisonous plants around. Bruce and Tiger were starting to get bored with the pouch and could chew on them and DIE. So. You know, he should have said something else for Miles to look for. Come to think of it, Miles is a fifteen year old boy, he probably doesn't know what a moonflower is. "JARVIS, can we donate the moonflower plants to someone, anyone?"

"Perhaps a 'plant rental' firm would accept them," JARVIS replied.

"Good, yes, call them until you find someone who'll take them, as soon as possible. I'll pay of course." Tony really should have thought this through. The flowers were pretty, large and white and showed up well at night, with the Tower's lights on, so that was something.

He's not sure if Miles has organic web like Peter, or relies on something like the web-shooters Peter invented for Ben when Tony let him play (under supervision! JARVIS was watching) in Helen Cho's lab. Miles has SOMETHING because once May brought it to his attention, JARVIS found videos showing the kid swinging around.

Tony thinks it's lucky that if they had to be spiderized, they were spiderized in a city with tall buildings. There wouldn't be much swinging in Washington, D.C. The swinging's bound to be a lot of fun, which is part of the reason Peter is chafing under his restrictions. If Peter knows about Miles... oh, who's Tony kidding. He's been busy in Upstate NY, so he hadn't noticed, but once he asked JARVIS to look, that red and black... oh, dear lord, it's CLOTH, it's not even Kevlar... videos are everywhere. Peter's a good kid, but it's got to irk him that he can't go have adventures, and here's someone pretty much stealing Pete's gig.

The pups were sleeping in their pouch, and Tony was considering opening the pizza to have a slice for himself when JARVIS said softly, "Sir, you have a visitor. There is no image registering, but I am picking up body heat on the infrared scanners."

Tony sat down and gestured at the pizza. "Hey Miles, do you like pepperoni?"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Stark." The voice came from somewhere near the edge of the garden.

"Can you eat while you're... like that? Invisible?"

"Yes, sir." Miles sounded embarrassed. "I'm not trying to sneak up on you. But... this... when I get nervous, it happens."

Tony nodded. "Yeah, sounds handy. I'd love to be able to sneak out of board meetings. Come on, have some pizza."

Tony watched a lid raise and a slice of pizza pick up. The slice vanished almost immediately. "Cool," Tony said. "So, you are generating an invisibility field. I thought that might be it, because otherwise you'd stripped naked in school."

Miles apparently coughed on the pizza. "I don't. I don't know how any of this worked. I hoped you could tell me something. It was your spider!"

"Not my spider. My clinic, yes." Tony put on a stern look. "Which is why Sentinel 42 was trying to keep people out until we could collect the spiders."

There was silence for a moment. Then Miles said, "I'm sorry. I just got approved for the school and I wanted... something to show I belonged. I figured if it was in a Stark clinic, it had to be one of your crazy experiments and I could take it apart and... only the knife slipped." Outlines appeared and colored, shadows and form, until Miles was looking at Tony with huge puppydog eyes and yes, wearing his homemade spidersuit. "And then I got sick, but I was afraid to say I'd stolen your spider. My dad..."

"Yeah," Tony said. "I get that. LEOs don't approve of even petty theft. So you just... what... pretended nothing was wrong and hoped it would go away? Until you knew it wasn't, and hey, you could do stuff, you could be a hero."

"I had to. Please, don't tell my dad. Or my mom. That's really why I came, to ask you not to tell them." Miles's sincerity was slightly spoiled by the tomato sauce on his chin.

Tony handed him a napkin. "Miles, you have to tell them. The longer you put it off, the worse it will be."

Miles wiped at his mouth. He said in a small voice. "My dad would hate me, if he knew what I was doing. But I'm only helping people! I'm faster than the police, I can get there first! And I'm strong and..."

"Do you know, two other people were bitten by those spiders?" Tony said.

Miles shrugged. "I saw a few things about them. They're nothing like me. They hardly do anything!"

"They're actually a lot like you, Miles. One of them is a kid, younger than you. The other is his guardian. They were checked out by doctors, and train to use their abilities, in case they are needed, but they don't go looking for trouble."

"I guess they don't care about people," Miles said, with a sniff.

"You couldn't be more wrong about them. They do care very much, but they want to go about this the right way. Being a vigilante isn't it."

Miles's lip went stubborn. "It's the only way for me. Are you gonna tell my parents?"

Tony sighed. "Not right now. I should....God, I'll feel terrible if something happens to you, and they just... lose you without knowing why."

Miles ducked his head. "They won't. I can do this."

Tony shook his head. "What you mean is that you're going to do it, no matter what. TOBY, bring Miles' box."

TOBY burbled forward, turning to make sure his newest sticker, an Iron Man Chibi, was facing Miles. He held out the box.

Miles looked at it. "It's not gonna explode?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Not unless you have explodey fingers."

Miles shifted. "Um.."

Tony shook his head. "Kid, you REALLY need to have a doctor look at you. Think about it. Dr. Helen Cho is at Haven Main Stem weekdays, noon till three. Tell her you're a 'special' and need a checkup, and she'll at least give you a base line. Maybe later, ONCE your parents know, your family can visit her larger facility at Harven Harbor upstate and get more questions answered."

"Maaaybe. Maybe," Miles said. "Thank you," he told TOBY, and opened the box. His eyes went huge. "It's...a suit?"

"Yep, I kept the colors and style, but upgraded the material. It's the best I can do for you now, kid. Except for this one more thing..." Tony took a contact button out of his pocket and tossed it to Miles. "I figured you wouldn't want me tracking the suit, so this is your choice. If you carry it, and you need help, press the button. If I can't get to you, then someone else will come, maybe Sentinel 42." Tony smiled. "Maybe you could add a spider to his flowers."

Miles ducked his head in a nod. "Maybe." He put the button and suit back in the box, stacked it on top of a pizza box, and leaped off the building with both boxes under one arm. "THANK YOU," Miles shouted as he shot out a web and swung away.

Tony had leapt to his feet in surprise. Now he shook his head. "Showoff."

Chapter Text

After Miles left, the pups woke up. Tony began feeding the pups mush, ground up imported kangaroo meat mixed with their special milk, using a teaspoon. He said, "Bruce, here comes the choo-choo train," and held the spoon close enough for the pup to smell it and then lick it. After Bruce had a few tastes, he shifted to the other pup. "Tiger, helicopter time!" and waved the spoon around her face until she had a few licks. "You're so smart, learning your names already."

"BOSS!" Friday said, "Old Nick is calling you."

Tony grinned. "Connect him." Tony waved at the hologram of Nick Fury. Since the pups were now public, he didn't try to hide them, but kept waving the spoon to get their attention."Well, speak of the devil," Tony said. "I'd ask how you've been, but I really don't care."

Fury growled. "Likewise. Not as if I need to ask, since you keep appeasing the masses with showy tricks."

Tony petted the pups. "I don't think he means you, you don't know any tricks yet. Maybe he means TOBY?"

TOBY twirled and burbled. He loved any kind of attention.

Fury did a nice little subvocal growl. "I hope you're happy, stealing my aliens and my space superhero."

"I wouldn't call it stealing," Tony said. "Just... offering dissatisfied customers a better product."

"Speaking of products, I want to place a purchase order for three hundred Stark drones," Nick spoke as if the words hurt his very soul. "Maybe on a time-payment plan?"

Tony blinked. "I remember what happened when SHIELD got me drunk and stole my ideas to upgrade the helicarriers. You're gonna have to assure me you don't have nefarious plans before we even discuss finances."

"Nothing nefarious about it. I've got an alien space superhero of my own now, and he needs it to help protect the Earth."

"Huh, that's interesting. Tell me more about this mysterious guy. Dump the whole bag and stir it around, Fury." Bruce nudged the spoon, and Tony got another scoop out of the bowl to offer him.

"He's the sole survivor of Earth in dimension 833."

Right there, Tony called bullshit. Ok, sure multiverse theory exists, but numbering them? Any society that was organized enough to find and classify over 800 alternates would find a way for more than ONE of their people to survive almost any catastrophe. Still, be fair, maybe the guy took a left turn at the elephant and got lost and thought he was the only one.

Fury went on to say, "What destroyed his Earth were elemental beings, formed within stable orbits in black holes. They were formed from the primary elements, Air, Water, Fire, and Earth."

So much bullshit, so much. Tony knew SHIELD, and Fury in particular, feared intelligence, but this stupidity reached new levels. Theoretically if it were an ultramassive black hole it might have a stable part inside of the black hole where advanced beings could live permanently and possibly an entire planet could exist within such a black hole within a second boundary beyond the event horizon, a so-called "inner Cauchy horizon" — a region within where things become somewhat smooth, and comparatively stable.

But Tony can't imagine getting OUT of that black hole into normal space. And if they DID, why in Aristotle's name would they focus on destroying a single world? And did Fury even go to school? The Greek Elements was a philosophy from 450 BC! It was a good start on trying to understand reality, but we DID move on from there to find out actual elements. Tony thinks it might be good to hack the helicarrier's communications and play Lehrer's The Element Song. On repeat. Until it sank in.

"Ok," Tony said. "That's very sad. But why does he need drones? And my drones, specifically?"

Fury scowled. "He says that they're the best, and he needs them to fight the Elemental Beings, who have followed him to this Earth."

Even less believable. "Uh huh. Who is this mystery alien? I like to deal direct with the consumer. Cuts down on misunderstandings. Got a photo of him and his glorious tentacles, or scales or bulging eyeballs?"

"He's from an alternate Earth," Fury snorted. "So he looks human, but he's got powers! He can fly and blast from his hands."

"Cool, cool," Tony said thinking that Fury was looking for a replacement for Carol. "Photo? Name? Like Gorth or Klaatu?"

Fury gave Tony the stink eye of course, but held up a photo. "He didn't want me to ask you directly, but S.I. has locked down on the damn drones so I didn't tell Qu..."

"Quentin Beck." Tony laughed so hard tears came to his eyes. "Friday, save this. It'll make 42 feel better to know he's not the only one scammed."

"How do you know Beck?" Fury demanded.

Tony wiped the tears from his eyes. "Because I fired him from S.I. after he protested that we weren't going to use the project he worked on to brainwash people. His minion is going around S.I. stirring up trouble, trying to get more people in the 'let's hate Tony Stark' club to join. He's been trying to get drones in particular, which is why we locked them down except to already approved buyers. His plan was to make himself look like a superhero by causing disasters that he'd fix."

Fury looked at Tony for a second, completely still. Then he said, "MOTHERFUCKER." and ended the communication.

Tony looked down at the pups. "Don't learn that word. That's Nick Fury's word, it's patented."

Chapter Text

"Sir," JARVIS said only a few minutes after Fury had gone off in a huff, "Ms. Jones is calling."

"Hmm," Tony said, distracted by watching Bruce and Tiger play with a little dog chew toy he'd got them. You know, he had no idea whether they teethed or not or what teething was, but the on-line pet store recommended it for puppies, so why not? "Yeah, sure, put her on."

Jessica's face appeared. She didn't react to the pups, but just scowled at Tony. "I hate this," she said.

"Hate what? Afternoons? They're not so bad, kinda the boring part of the day, but ok."

Jessica didn't even roll her eyes. "I lost him. I had eyes on Beck all the time. I followed him out of the city, and you know, it's hard to tail someone in the mountains, but I did."

Tony was about to tell her not to worry about Beck, because he was fairly sure a pissed off Fury would handle the situation. Probably permanently so no one could embarrass him by talking to Beck. And Beck would talk, Tony remembered his total inability to avoid bragging and trying to be charismatic. Neither of which would endear him to Nick. He opened his mouth to interrupt but then...

Jessica said, "Who would have expected him to meet a pimp in the Catskills? I mean, it's all Jewish summer resorts, hiking trails and parks!"

Tony closed his mouth. He wanted to hear the rest of this.

"So, there I am, trying be invisible, halfway up a pine tree- still got sap in my best denims...- and Beck is being all sincere and 'lets make a deal' with this big bald black guy, scary mofo with an eyepatch and leather coat that had to be making him sweat bullets..."

Tony bit his upper lip to stay quiet.

"I don't know if Beck was asking to join his stable, or looking for love in all the wrong places, but he and Mr. Badass seemed to make a deal, and they walked off past some trees, towards a clearing. I couldn't follow them because no way I could look like an artist soaking up the scenery, so I went around to the other side of the clearing and they were GONE. I went back to Beck's rental, and it was just... it's still there in the parking lot, and I don't have a clue. I thought maybe you could lend me your sniffer octopus. I've got one of Beck's jackets- swiped it from the dry cleaner's pickup before they washed it."

Tony waited a second. "That's it?"

"Yeah." Jessica scowled. "I lost him yesterday. I spent the night watching the car because I didn't want to admit it, but he shook me and my people in the city say he never went home, so I'm out of options."

Tony nodded. "It's ok. If you'd called me yesterday it wouldn't have made any difference. I just got a call from... the pimp...well... he's kinda not really a pimp, but then... he does pick up people desperate for employment and has them doing illegal stuff for him." Tony was going to treasure the idea of Nick Fury and his pimp hand. "Nick Fury, the supposedly dead director of the supposedly defunct super secret spy group known as SHIELD, or SHIELDRA to those in the know."

Jessica looked more confused rather than less the more Tony talked.

"SO, anyway, Fury got scammed by Beck, and called me trying to buy Stark tech for Beck. I told him Beck wasn't actually an inter-dimensional sole survivor, flying and hand ray blasting hero from an alternate Earth, but just another guy in the 'Tony Stark was mean to me, so I'mma gonna be a villain' club."

Jessica tilted her head. "He bought that story? This Fury guy is the head of an INTELLIGENCE agency?"

Tony laughed. "Yeah, it's funny, isn't it?"

Jessica sighed. "All right, so what do I do?"

"Call off your people on Beck, and concentrate on Beck's contacts. I'm pretty sure Fury's gonna drop Beck into a deep dark hole, but maybe the minions have some emergency plans in case he vanishes. Happy's watching from the S.I. side, and he can tag you in. The ringleader's probably the only one who might cause trouble, so if you and Happy keep Riva pinned down tight, he'll maybe get desperate and you can catch him doing something criminal. Optimal scenario S.I. can press charges in a way that makes him out as a petty criminal, not a righteous rebel against the evil billionaire."

Jessica nodded. "Right. I'll talk to Happy." She smiled. "Maybe bait a trap, to catch a rat."

"Keep it legal, Jess. I don't want him becoming a martyr."

Jessica gave Tony a thumbs up and disconnected.

Tony looked at Tiger, who had gone from chewing on the toy to munching on the tip of TOBY's tentacle. "You notice she didn't exactly promise, Tiger?"

"Mr. Hogan is calling, Sir," JARVIS said a few minutes later. Tiger and Bruce had worn themselves out and squeezed back into the pouch to nap. Time for a bigger one, soon. They were growing so fast. Maybe Tony didn't need to feed them every time they woke up? But... well, they were so cute when they ate and their little cookie cutter ears wiggled with excitement.

"Connect," Tony said. Happy's face appeared, looking its usual grumpy cat best.

"I wouldn't have lost Beck," Happy said.

Tony shrugged. "But then, I'd have missed out on Jones calling Fury a pimp."

Happy was silent for a moment. "Yeah, ok. I can see that. Fine. Beck conned Fury? What are the odds anyone ever sees him again?"

"He really isn't super, so I doubt Fury will want to add him to the hidden collection that no one suspects he still has. And he won't want Beck to tell everyone how he fooled Fury, so I think Beck will turn up, just not in a talkative condition."

Happy huffed. "Still could just disappear."

"Fifty-fifty. It's Fury, who knows how he thinks? Either way, Beck was the brains. If Riva tries something on his own, I'm sure you'll catch him red-handed and we can clean house. Again. Maybe S.I. employees need an outlet to vent their anger."

"What do you want? Put up dartboards with your face in the rec lounge?"

Tony considered it a moment. "That... that's just creepy. How about a scream room?"

Happy gave Tony a disapproving look. "No. Tony, just no."

"How about a smash room? Test the resilience of Stark products? Haven't you ever wanted to see what would happen if you threw a brick at a Stark phone?"

Happy shrugged. "No. Well... once or twice, that stupid camera... I'll have a talk with Health and Safety. See what they suggest."

"Yeah, I used to have Thor and Hulk to test my phones to destruction," Tony said quietly. Then he brightened. "Put up Hulk and Thor charts and score the results by voting. Best smash of the day gets a Hulk t-shirt, second best a Thor."

Happy rolled his eyes. "I guess I'm done here, now that we're into kiddie games. Don't worry, Jess and I will keep the lid on Riva. Let the pressure build up until he explodes. Bye, Boss."

After Happy ended the call, Tony took TOBY down to the workshop to play with DUM-E and U. They had invented some kind of game that involved a lot of noise and movement, so he left them happily occupied while he tried to think what else he needed to do.

Oh. "JARVIS, have you been keeping Pepper up to date?"

Friday answered, "Mostly it's me, Boss. JARVIS and I are job-sharing, and I thought... girls should stick together."

"Ok, fine, is Pep busy now, or can I talk with her?" For an engaged couple, Tony and Pepper aren't spending much time together. Maybe one day he'll ask Janet to find a time slot back far enough that no people were on Hawaii. Hawaii should be nice, right?

"Tony, you're thinking out loud again," Pepper said.

Tony grinned at her hologram. "So, what do you think, past Hawaii?"

"No past anything, Tony. We're going to make a future together."

Pepper could be really sappy, Tony thought. "You're right. How about a cabin in the... well, not woods, but somewhere they don't know us, but we'd still have running water, electricity and wifi."

Pepper giggled. "That sounds more like it. And if you're going to keep Bruce and Tiger, they should have a place where they can run around without someone screaming 'tiger' and shooting them."

Tony looked at the pouch with the sleeping pups. "Good idea. Reminds me, I have to call Vision and get the coordinates for the thylacines he's been releasing in Tasmania since Tiger and Bruce were outed. I haven't answered any of the calls about them, yet."

Pepper nodded. "In parts of their historical range where the ecology would benefit from an apex predator."

"And where the government isn't putting out poison bait," Friday said.

"And where there have been at least a few 'sightings' in recent memory," JARVIS added.

"Yeah," Tony said. "That narrows it down. Plus, Vision wants to seed them in adjoining areas to increase the odds the government will declare it a Thylacine Sanctuary instead of just trying to trap them and put them in zoos."

"It will be fine, I'm sure. Now, about MILES," Pepper said.

"Um, yes?"

"You suggested he go to Haven Main stem and tell Dr. Cho he's a 'special' and request a checkup?"

"Yes?"

"Did you also think to tell Ben Parker, who works as security at Haven Main Stem, that a boy with spider issues might show up?"

"Shit. No. I didn't. You're right. Ben would be great to talk to Miles. And he's retired military and works security, so he could... you know... with Miles' dad, the cop. Oh, and May! Miles' mom is a nurse! Shit, it's like Miles' family was cloned from the Parkers!"

Pepper said, "Don't be silly. How could anyone 'clone' professions and have both children get spider powers?"

"Maybe there's a higher power, but it's lazy and repeats ideas." Tony said. He looked at Pepper. She looked at him, and then they both laughed at how ridiculous the idea was.

Chapter Text

Tony is getting awfully tired of phone calls. He doesn't mean that he looks fondly back on the days when he was flying around as Iron Man getting shot at by jets, and tanks, and Chitauri (who reminded him of rabid zombie rabbits...) but he would like a little more action in his life. His ass was getting big, he was sure of it. But Pepper was right, this was on him, so after they discussed the chance of having dinner together (fairly good if he was willing to make it a working meal at S.I. with take out sushi) they ended the call, and Tony went back to handling the situations that he felt responsible for. Like the pups. And the spiders. And... yeah... start with the easy stuff.

"JARVIS, send out text, emails, whatever, to any authorities who actually have any business wondering where I got Bruce and Tiger. Let them have the basics- I found them orphaned, thought they were dingles..."

"Dingoes, Sir," JARVIS said.

Tony waved it off. "Dogs, anyway. Took them home, and they're doing great. I'm keeping them. Get the coordinates from Vision where they might, just possibly, find some more. If it helps, you can provide recordings of the pup's yips, because that might get the others to respond. I don't know, like wolves do? You know, howl to locate the pack?"

"Done, Sir. There will undoubtedly be further requests for information and direct contact with Bruce and Tiger," JARVIS warned.

"Uh, uh. Maybe a veterinarian qualified with mary-sue pials can come check them out, but they're not going anywhere. They're not specimens, make that perfectly clear. I'm not gonna listen to experts telling me they know better. Experts didn't save them, I did."

TOBY burbled, having finished playing with DUM-E and U and come back up to fuss over the pups.

"Right, TOBY saved them," Tony admitted. "So, that's that. How is Vision doing in Pastralia?"

"He reports progress in assembling his space shuttle. However he has been delayed by the thylacine project, and wonders if he could borrow TOBY to track them down before they are badly injured. He must then devote time to nursing them back to health while he is wearing a non-human form, to ensure they do not associate people with food and care, and become at risk of approaching hostile humans."

"Isn't Vision non-human enough as himself?"

"He doesn't wish to take the chance of even bipedal form similarity."

"Ok, you've got me curious now. Show me."

"As you wish, Sir." JARVIS produced a hologram video. A thylacine wearing a soft-looking harness attached to an overhead line limped along in a enclosure surrounded by the blue-white haze of a force field. The field faded to transparency. The thylacine's ears went up and it turned to face...a man sized furry sort of thylacinoid, carrying a bowl of chopped meat in its jaws as it walked on all fours.

"Wow," Tony said. "Werewolf Vision? That's... well, creative?"

"Indeed."

"Yeah, ok, I'll take TOBY to Australia soon. I need to check up on the opal mine, anyway, see if they have anything to show for it. You good with that, TOBY? Get to see Vision and look for more relatives of Bruce and Tiger?"

TOBY wriggled his tentacles happily, shedding a few stickers along the way.

"Jay, see if you can get Ben Parker on the line." While waiting Tony tried to think who else he needed to touch base with-- oh, yeah, Xavier and his promised mind shield. Need to get that, with any luck it also would prevent Skrull simming. And Jessica's friends. And Reed Richards and the Four- including 'young clone of Rogers'... probably best not to look into that. It's just a weird coincidence. After all, Johnny's sister doesn't look anything like Rogers, thank God. How is Daredevil doing with his new undersuit? He hasn't asked for anything, but then DD obviously prided himself on self-sufficiency. Speaking of which, is Dr. Strange making progress in his correspondence witchcraft classes? Damn, now Tony had 'Bedknob and Broomsticks' songs going through his mind.

"Sir." JARVIS said, "SIR! Mr. Parker is waiting to hear from you."

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that." Tony smiled at Ben's hologram. "Hi, yeah, I just wanted to give you a heads up. You've heard about the other spider person?"

"Yes," Ben said. "I've been concerned about him. He's... well, he seems quite young."

Tony nodded. "He is. I'm trying to build trust so I can't tell you much more than that. I did give him a suit, but that's only physical protection. If he shows at the clinic... well, I asked him to see Dr. Cho for at least a baseline workup. I don't know if he'll open up to you, but I want you to be prepared."

Ben nodded. "I think I'll know him, if he's near me. Peter and I... we can sense each other, and if he's anything like us, maybe he'll be able to tell that I'm like him. It's a comfort for us, knowing we're not alone. That's got to be hard on this young man. If I can help him, of course I will. I won't ask whatever he might have told you, but if you speak to him again, let him know about me and Peter." Ben grinned. "Peter would be thrilled to have someone his own age to practice with on the weekends at Haven Harbor. He and Amadeus are great friends, and Peter has friends at school, but none of them are... swingers."

Chapter Text

Tony was glad that Ben is willing to help. Ben is much better at telling people they're being stupid without offending them than Tony is, and of course, Miles won't be able to say that Ben doesn't know what it's like. So, one more thing, maybe not OFF Tony's plate, but at least pushed to the side, like Brussels sprouts.

Only not like that, because Tony actually likes Brussels sprouts. It's just that they don't like him. So he might forget and eat them and regret it. And wow, his brain needs a break.

Speaking of brains reminds him of Xavier. "Jay, see if you can put a call through to Professor Xavier. Where's the mind-blocker blueprint? Did it get lost in the attic?" Or heck, did SHIELD sneak off with it, the way they did a trunk full of his father's belongings? They're fucking packrats, it wasn't even any use to them. It had a Captain America comic book in it! Tony sold that sucker and donated the money to "Save The Children". He regrets having donated his art collection to the Boy Scouts after Pepper sent him some links about various BSA controversies, but you know, you can't UNdonate. And besides the kids weren't responsible for the stuff the adults got up to.

Professor Xavier's hologram appeared. "Good afternoon, Mr. Stark. I presume you're calling to enquire about the mind-blocker?"

Tony gave Xavier a suspicious look. "Presume?"

Xavier smiled. "No, I did not look in your mind. I do have the blueprints, but I hadn't realized that the design fails to specify the needed materials- some special metal alloy was involved. The inventor and I... well, we were once close, but through a philosophical disagreement, we drifted apart and I've been unable to contact him."

"Hmm," Tony said. "If you give me the blueprints I can try different alloys, and maybe you can test them? On some willing volunteer, not me."

"That seems a reasonable suggestion. I can have it delivered by messenger." Xavier paused. "A standard messenger. While some of my students have alternate means of transportation, all of them have limitations which would be foolish to strain where a normal service can suffice."

"Right." Tony was not thinking about Nightcrawler. No, he wasn't. But his teleporting was cool. Huh, that made him yet another multidimensional using person. Tony should try to wangle an introduction between Kurt and Stephen. It would be hilarious. Kurt was so polite and Stephen such a troll. "Can you send it RUSH to Stark Tower? I'm not at Haven Harbor today, and I'll be leaving soon for Australia, probably. I'd like to at least start on it today."

Xavier nodded. "I will send it Rush via Westchester Courier Services. I've found them to be very reliable."

They chat for a little while about the difference between X-gene mutants, acquired genetic mutations, and epigenetic factors before Xavier had to leave to teach a class, and Tony had to take time for Bruce and Tiger.

After that Tony called Stephen. "And how is the physician magician these days? Enjoying your sabbatical at Home Hogwarts?"

Stephen said dryly, "I'm a little disappointed. So far I haven't discovered a method of magically making you inaudible." His cloak flipped. Stephen nodded. "You're right, Cloak. Why overthink it when a simple gag would do."

Tony grinned. "Thanks for the offer, but no, I'm happily engaged."

"I heard. It's rather baffling. Ms. Potts could do better." Stephen smirked.

"I know, right? I think I won her over with my foot rubs. I do great foot rubs."

Stephen tilted his head in acknowledgement. "That could be an incentive, I suppose."

"Have you spoken with Viktor recently? I was wondering if you had a chance to mention the hazardous waste treatment idea? S.I. would be glad to advance start-up funds once he has the logistics worked out."

"I did actually mention it, and he's interested, but his country doesn't have the expertise or the infrastructure. Even if all the 'process' is magically done, he's still got to deal with mundane logistics of transport, storage and at least one semi-convincing facility that can be inspected so people don't assume he's just dumping it down the side of a mountain."

Tony nodded. "Uh huh. S.I. can help with that, maybe go partners? With S.I.'s backing other companies and countries will watch to see how it goes. It would be great if he could dispose of the mess the Chitauri left behind. S.I. has a contract with the Department of Damage Control to store it, but you know? It's still there, and still dangerous. Imagine what could happen if someone steals it? A lot of it has potential to be weaponized even if it doesn't degrade with time into a bomb."

"Hmm," Stephen said. "Maybe. It'll be up to you to convince the government to let you ship it to Latveria."

"I can call in some favors." Not only does Fury owe him, and can pressure his contacts, but the politicians Tony saved not only owe him, he's sure they would like getting kudos for coming up with a plan to get rid of that mess on the cheap. Maintaining the warehouse does cost the government, even with S.I. giving a discount.

They talked for a few minutes more, speculating about the uses of practical magic, and gossiping about The Old Lady's cult. Stephen had learned a magical locator spell that pointed to an area in Greenwich Village so full of magical 'effluvia' he figured it belonged to TAO or maybe her minion, Wong, which kinda made sense to Tony. The Village had always been Bohemian and accepting of oddities.

Tony was making a mental checklist of things in progress, things to get in progress, people to check up on, experiments he could try with the last of Howard's shield. There isn't much left, and he's learned a lot... who knows, maybe it'll work for the mind-blocker. Obviously that alloy wouldn't have been what the inventor used, because Howard created it and the shield was the only result. But it could work.

"Sir," JARVIS said along about the time Tony was wondering if Doom would let him examine a Doombot and see how much was magic, and how much technology. He kept wanting to substitute a different word for magic, but things like 'neurally facilitated access to multidimensional energies and alternate laws of physics' was unwieldy.

"Yeah?" Tony said.

"A courier from Westchester Courier Services is at the security desk downstairs, requesting permission to hand-deliver a packet to you." JARVIS showed a young man wearing a blue sports shirt and matching ball cap with WCS logos standing at the desk. He was holding a thick envelope, large enough to hold technical blueprints and notes.

"Sure, approve and send him right up," Tony said.

Tony met the elevator and held out his hand. "Do I need to sign?" He smiled. "You know who I am, right?"

"Yes, sir, you're Tony Stark." The young man held out the packet, but before Tony could take it, the man shook, a full body shake, and transformed into a woman with long red hair, scaly blue skin, and yellow eyes.

"Oh," Tony said as he took the packet. "I thought Xavier wasn't sending one of his people. You related to Kurt Wagner?"

The woman scowled at him.

"Is that a sensitive issue? Sorry." Tony started to open the packet. "Can I give you a tip? I don't know..."

The woman hissed at him. "No. I do not want a tip. I do not want to talk about Kurt. I came because someone wants to talk with you."

"Oh, well, I'm a little busy right now." Tony was starting to get a bad feeling about this. "He can make an appointment. I think I have some time free next month."

She shrugged. "I told him he was being too nice." She leaped forward right over Tony, and wrapped an arm tightly around his throat from behind. "You are going to come with me."

Tony flailed. TOBY whirled and made shrill baby elephant in distress noise. The pups continued sleeping. JARVIS sprouted weapons all around the penthouse.

"RELEASE SIR AT ONCE!" JARVIS demanded. "Or I shall..."

EDITH interrupted, "Wait a moment. Are you Mystique?"

The woman blinked. Tony could see the flash of her eyes reflected in TOBY's big arc reactor blue eye-nodes.

EDITH asked, "Is Magneto here? I wasn't expecting him so soon. JARVIS, don't shoot. Magneto is an ally."

"What?" the woman, presumably Mystique, asked. She sounded confused. "Magneto is no one's ally."

EDITH said firmly, "Of course he is. Was... Will be?"

The woman slackened her grip on Tony, but kept him between her and JARVIS's weapons. "Explain."

Tony coughed. "EDITH is... it's complicated."

"Magneto will be displeased if I kill you," Mystique said. "But I could live with his displeasure."

"You must learn patience, Mystique," a man's voice came from the outside balcony. He was an older man, nothing out of the ordinary in his features or clothing, hovering in a totally not ordinary way above the balcony. He settled to the floor and walked in, waving at the weapons and at Mystique. "I apologize, I had hoped to introduce myself subtly, in case Charles had said something to poison your mind in advance."

Mystique was still holding onto Tony and JARVIS was still aiming all his weapons at them.

TOBY whirled in confusion, and then he approached Magneto, and extended a tentacle. Magneto looked down at the kitten sticker TOBY was offering him. And then he smiled. "Thank you," he told TOBY and took the sticker. "Mystique, please, let us have a civilized conversation."

Mystique released Tony and put on a sulky expression. JARVIS withdrew SOME of the weapons.

Tony rubbed his neck. "Do I have an especially attractive neck? This is the third time someone's gone for it. Should I start wearing a scarf?"

Magneto smiled. "I do apologize. Mystique is rather high-strung. I did want to talk to you. I heard that Charles was looking for me to help someone recreate my mind-blocker. At first I felt a mild resentment and was disinclined to help. Then Scott Summers was overheard talking about it being for Tony Stark..."

"It wasn't difficult," Mystique said. "Scott was whining in his beer about it."

Magneto raised an eyebrow and Mystique stopped talking. TOBY took the opportunity to go to her and offer her a rainbow and unicorn sticker. Mystique was bemused, but she took it.

"So," Magneto said, "I recalled the video shown of Maximoff affecting your mind. I have... a personal reason for despising Nazis and everything to do with them, including their Hydra offshoot, so I was going to send Charles the missing information on the helmet."

Magneto paused. "But then, you showed up with THEM." He pointed at Bruce and Tiger who were now peering out of their pouch. "And I thought... WHEN could you possibly acquire live representatives of an extinct species?"

Tony coughed. "Well, obviously they're not extinct. I just stumbled over them."

"When?" Magneto stretched out his hand and TOBY floated. "Please. Tell me when. I do not wish to make this unpleasant."

Tony frowned. "EDITH?"

"Tell him, Sahib. It will be all right. Magneto is good at keeping secrets."

"All right, all right. I have a time machine. Please put TOBY down."

TOBY burbled when he settled on the floor and stretched his tentacles out to Magneto in a clear 'AGAIN' request. Magneto smiled. "Maybe later, right now your father and I need to talk."

Tony sighed. JARVIS retracted the rest of the weapons. "I can guess you have a reason for being interested in time travel. We can't... we can't risk changing human history. If I dared, I'd go back and save my parents from murder."

Magneto glared at Tony for a long moment, and then he deflated. "I... it was unreasonable. But I had hoped." He shook his head. "Very well, but if it's that risky, then why did you save them?"

Tony shrugged. "It was an accident, but since it happened, it must have happened, and we're being very careful not to change anything that affects human history. When we put a few of them back in places where there were rumors of sighting, that agrees with history, it doesn't change it."

"Still, while they are charming animals, that could not have been your primary aim."

"No, no, it's not. This is complicated..." Tony launched, yet again, into the convoluted series of events that led up to preparing for Thanos. He left out other people's secrets and a lot of non-essentials, but he still had time to brew a pot of tea with lemon for his sore throat, and offer other drinks for Magneto and Mystique.

Close to running out of breath he said, "Ok, EDITH, tell me how Magneto fits in as an ally?"

EDITH said, "Well, obviously, Sahib, Mr. Eisenhardt..."

"Wait," Magneto said, "how do you know that name? I've been Erik Lehnsherr ever since Auschwitz." He sneered. "Lehnsherr means 'feudal lord'. The Nazis would have hated the thought of a Jew with power."

Tony blinked. "You were... at Auschwitz. How OLD are you? Wait, sorry, that's probably inappropriate." Tony quickly drank tea to cover his embarrassment.

Magneto shrugged. "Old enough. I don't know how I'm still alive. At first, I think it was hate of the Nazis."

"And later?" Tony asked.

Mystique said, "Hate of the people who want to kill all mutants."

EDITH said, "A better reason would be to protect your people, Mr. Eisenhardt. Thanos will not discriminate. He hates LIFE."

Tony said, "If you want to stay out of it, you can. I can't promise any gratitude from the government or anyone else, but Stark Industries will be on your side. You can help draft mutant inclusiveness clauses in S.I.'s employment and I'll throw my lawyers and lobbyists on your case. Cases."

"That is contingent on my assistance, of course," Magneto said.

Tony shook his head. "No. You want to walk out right now, you can just send me a list of what your people need and I'll see what I can do. This isn't... this isn't a business deal. It's about human rights. Your people shouldn't have to beg to be treated fairly, and you shouldn't have to buy justice."

Magneto stared at Tony. "But if I don't help, and this Thanos comes?"

Tony spread his hands. "We might defeat him without your help. I'm trying to get everyone I can. I don't mind a little overkill."

"What do you want me to do?"

Tony grinned. "Well, if you really want to... you could go to Australia, and help Vision construct his space shuttle, and then go with him to the Moon to get the Vibranium. I don't know if you can affect it, but even if you can't, Vision could encase the meteors in steel and you could pull the whole thing, right?"

Magneto nodded slowly. "I could."

"Let me sweeten the deal. Some of your people might not be... interested in working for S.I. Let's face it, it's a business, and it's boring at times. Mystique, for instance, I think would hate a nine-to-five job."

Mystique shrugged. "I don't know. I never had one."

"Right. See, I've just thought of another option. SHIELD sucks, right? But there's a new game in town. SWORD. The director and top agents already owe me, and I'm sure they don't have as many agents as they need.

"Get in on the ground floor, you can write your own ticket. Keep it from making 'lists' of people to kill or to control, just because they're not base-line. Make it an organization to protect your people."

Mystique seemed to think about it. "And if I didn't like it, it would be easier to kill them from within." She smiled.

Chapter Text

"Does everyone like sushi?" Tony asked. "I was planning to order delivery. Pepper's going to try to make time for dinner, and I'd like her to meet you."

Mystique looked confused because Tony was staring directly at her. "Do you mean me?"

"Yeah."

JARVIS said, in a long suffering tone, "SIR, Ms. Potts has requested that you cease asking every 'badass woman' you see to be a bridesmaid."

Tony pouted. "It's not like I'm asking anyone to save the date, just asking if they'd be interested."

Mystique blinked. "Is this a joke?"

Tony shook his head. "No, of course not. A wedding is a serious thing! I already almost promised not to do the Spaceballs marriage vows, unless you know, it's absolutely necessary."

Mystique looked at Magneto for clarification. " 'Do you, do you, yes'." Magneto said. In the ensuing silence he said, "Yes, I like sushi."

The elevator arrived. Pepper entered the room and smiled. "Hello. JARVIS mentioned we had guests."

Tony winced. "My bad, Pepper Potts, CEO and Boss of my heart, may I introduce to you, Mr. Max Eisenhardt, and his protege, Mystique. Mr. Eisenhardt invented the mind blocker, and Mystique invented the backflip."

Pepper shook her head. "Pleased to meet you." Pepper turned to Mystique. "JARVIS also mentioned that Tony was about to ask you to be a bridesmaid. I hope you don't mind him usurping my role. If you're interested, I'll have JARVIS add you to the notification list. We don't have a date, but we have hopes."

The sushi arrived and they had a pleasant conversation which Pepper kept firmly steered to light subjects including the likelihood of the Sherlock Holmes movie 3 ever being made. "Yeah," Tony said, "Pepper really liked the guy who played Sherlock."

"Oh, he was all right, but Jude Law was much better," Pepper said. "He really brought Watson to life, and turned him from a sidekick to a true partner, keeping Sherlock's zaniness grounded."

Tony muttered, "You said the other guy was sexy."

Pepper patted his hand. "He was, but... Jude..." She sighed.

Magneto carried on conversation easily, but Mystique was silent, watching Tony and Pepper interact with the fascination due a magic act.

They reached the tea and dessert stage with a selection of mochi and dorayaki when JARVIS interrupted, "SIR! There is a problem at the opal mine."

"What?" Tony asked, getting to his feet.

"I am not certain. Sentinel 87 reported intruders, and then went silent. As Vision is not PRESENT, I cannot reach him either."

EDITH spoke up, "Be careful, Sahib!"

"What's wrong, EDITH?"

"I don't think I should say," EDITH said, "Dr. Strange said, will say, this might be a nexus point if it is what I think it is."

"Strange! JARVIS, call Strange, emergency! I hope he's figured out his portaling!" Tony checked, unnecessarily, that he had his nano-suit case on his necklace. He'd been wearing it under his shirts ever since he worked the bugs out, combining the nano-tech with Pym's particles along with a few ideas picked up from self-healing metals. "We need him here, now!"

"What?" Stephen said grumpily over the hologram phone image. He was wearing sweats and eating a sandwich while sitting cross-legged and floating in the air. "I don't do house calls, you know."

"I DON'T CARE! Someone's at the mine, the Sentinels aren't reporting. Vision could walk out of Pastralia into a trap!"

Stephen blinked. "And the intruder could get control of the time machine. Yes, that justifies a house call." Stephen tossed his sandwich over his shoulder, making it vanish. He put his hands together and muttered something before making gestures almost entirely unlike the ones TAO had used to portal. A glowing blue ring appeared in front of Tony, and Stephen stepped out, fully clothed in all black, with the red cloak dramatically flaring. The blue ring shrank and vanished. "Think of the mine."

Tony closed his eyes to concentrate.

"Good," Stephen said, and then he pushed Tony.

Tony yelped and opened his eyes as he fell through another blue portal, landing on the sandstone of the opal mine. Going from evening to mid-morning it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. He had an instant to recognize the mine and the shattered bodies of his Sentinels, before he was bowled over by Mystique who rolled him to one side to avoid a flying hunk of Sentinel. Magneto landed in front of Tony and gestured, sending the armor to one side. TOBY was clinging to Magneto's coat and crying in distress.

All Tony had time to think was 'Thank God, Pepper isn't here.'

"Hey, stop!" Stephen said as he emerged and shut the portal behind him. "I'm a doctor! I'm not here to fight!"

"That's too bad, because I am!" Wanda... newly renamed Romani she might be, but she sure looked like a witch to Tony, floating over his murdered Sentinels, wild-eyed and hair floating in freakish streams despite the lack of wind.

Tony hit the nano-case and suited up, scrambling to his feet and preparing to blast her.

Steve... Nomad, whatever, stood tall and proud, as ever, and shouted, "Stop, Wanda. You said you just wanted to talk!"

"I wanted to talk to VISION, but he's not HERE! Fury SAID he would be here!" Wanda shrieked.

Tony was so taking Nick Fury off the Christmas card list. Later. Wanda was ignoring Steve's half-assed attempt to calm her down, and doing the red hand glow schtick that Tony, really, really hated. Maybe she couldn't get through the Iron Man helmet. Maybe she thought she couldn't get through the helmet. Maybe she just didn't like the superior look Magneto was giving her while making the Sentinel bits spin harmlessly away from him.

In any event, she lunged at Magneto and put her hands to either side of his head. Magneto smirked, and tapped his temple. "I locked the door. Helmets are so constrictive. Plating under the scalp is much more fashionable.

Wanda shrieked even more shrilly.

Tony really really wanted to blast her ass. She killed his Sentinels. Rogers threw himself in between Tony and Wanda. "Don't!" Steve shouted, "She's just a kid!"

Wanda turned from Magneto and stopped. "Pietro?"

Mystique in Pietro form smiled and opened her arms. She didn't say anything. Tony suspected she didn't know how Pietro sounded.

Wanda took a step forward and then shook her head. "NO! It's a LIE, it's all lies!" She threw a headless Sentinel at Mystique.

Mystique gracefully leaped onto the Sentinel and used it to bounce over to Wanda and give her a good open-handed slap across the face, before reverting to her own shape. "Crybaby," she mocked. "I've had such a hard life, boo hoo, I need a man to protect me."

Wanda growled and lunged at Mystique.

And then the quantum tunnel fired up.

"NO!" Tony shouted, and turned to see that TOBY had activated the recall. Steve stopped wrestling with Iron Man and stared as Vision walked out of the tunnel, carrying a cage containing a thylacine.

"How?" Steve said in a whisper. He whirled and pointed at Tony. "What did you do!"

Tony was not in the mood to hear another 'keeping your secrets is bad, Tony', lecture, so he blasted Steve with a mid-power zap. Enough to knock him on his ass and maybe distract him from 'time machine'."

Dr. Strange was still just standing there, watching the mayhem in disbelief.

Magneto gestured and the Sentinel pieces began flying at Wanda, for every one she threw away two more came, smacking into her arms and butt and legs. Tony suspected Magneto was playing with her.

Wanda shrieked again in frustration. She held out her hand. "VISION! HELP ME, THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME!"

Vision put down the cage. "Wanda, I'm sure if you just stop fighting, they will let you go." He looked at Magneto. "Sir?"

Magneto grinned. "She needs a lesson in manners."

Mystique said, "She needs to stop pretending to be a hero. She's really not very good at it."

Pieces of Sentinel clamped on Wanda's arms and legs and began spinning her in mid air.

"STOP IT!" Steve shouted. "She's just a kid."

"You already said that," Stephen said. "Look, I interrupted my meditation and my dinner for this." He waved his hands. "She's a kid. Fine."

Wanda's shrieks turned to bleats, and a young goat fell out of the spinning armor. She landed on the sand. Got up on wobbly legs and fell over, still bleating.

"WANDA!" Steve ran to the goat and picked her up. He turned to Strange. "Undo whatever you did! Bring Wanda back!"

Stephen dusted off his hands. "No. I like her better this way."

Tony had to admit, as a little brown and white goat, she was rather cute.

"You can't! Wanda's just..." Steve shut his mouth just in time as everyone was looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Stephen said. "It's temporary. It'll wear off in seven."

"Minutes?" Steve asked.

"Sure. Maybe. Or a bit longer." Stephen said.

Tony said, "Why don't you take your KID and get the hell out of here. And tell Fury THANKS, I'll remember this."

Rogers looked around and saw no sympathy. He picked up the goat, and used a remote control to remove the cloaking on a quin-jet. Tony recognized it as the one he'd given them. Hadn't heard from quin-jet JARVIS, so probably they murdered him, too.

"Get the fuck gone, Rogers." Tony really wanted to blast him. But Vision and TOBY were watching. They waited until the quin-jet took off before Tony turned to Stephen. "How much longer?"

"I'm not really sure. I didn't finish reading the end notes." Stephen looked around. "I'm sorry about your robots."

"Yeah, me too," Tony said, sadly. "They were good kids."

Vision nodded. "They were very brave."

Magneto frowned. "They had personalities?"

Vision nodded again. "They weren't very bright, but yes."

"Let me see..." Magneto closed his eyes. "I haven't done this before... but sometimes... metal... has.... a ... memory." He sagged and Mystique hurried to support him.

The Sentinel bits...

wiggled...

crawled...

shivered...

and then in a flurry, the pieces flew together, and the Sentinels stood again, turning their heads and shifting in robotic confusion. "Father," one said, and then all six of them surrounded Tony.

Tony blinked back tears as he reached out to the Sentinels. "Thank you, Max."

Chapter Text

One of the Sentinels went into the work shed, where they stored various tools, newly arrived supplies for Vision in Pastralia- including thylacine food and medicine-, and a small amount of human necessities. He came out with a box and presented Tony with it.

Tony opened it and saw, nestled in soft, slightly dampened, cotton, a handful of small white opals, none fit for a ring, although a few might be usable as inexpensive 'doublet' or 'triplet' slices layered and glued together. Not that Tony could judge, but each stone type was in a labeled compartment. "Good work, guys! I'll tell Pepper how hard you're working." He gave the box back to the Sentinel for storage.

After assuring themselves that 'father' was unharmed, they resumed work in the mine, but Sentinel 87 set himself atop the mound of dump cuttings to watch for any further intruders.

Tony turned to Vision. "You all right, Buddy?"

Vision sighed. "I had hoped that Wanda... well... perhaps spending time as a harmless animal will be a learning experience for her."

"Sure," Tony said, although he doubted it. He turned to Magneto and Mystique. "Really, thank you both so much."

Magneto tilted his head in acknowledgment. "I just hope that woman isn't actually a mutant. She would give us a bad name."

Mystique agreed. "She's trouble. Do you think she will gate-crash your wedding?" she asked Tony.

Tony scowled. "I hope not. I wouldn't put it past her, though. Does this mean you're considering being a bridesmaid?"

"Maybe." Mystique shrugged. "I'll ask my wife if she wants to be a groomsman. Stupid name..."

Tony blinked as he encountered a new thought. Lesbian groomsman? Why not? S.I. was all about inclusivity so he was sure Pepper would be ok with it. Most women look great in a tux, anyway. "Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting I should have groomsmen, too. Sure, what's your wife's name?" Tony felt stupid, he should also be recruiting badass groomsmen. Maybe he DID have a bit of ego, thinking he could protect himself, but Pepper would need more heroes.

"Destiny. She's blind, but sees the future. So, if she says we'll attend, then we will," Mystique said.

"That sounds very handy," Dr. Strange said.

Mystique said, "Sometimes." She turned to Magneto. "Are we staying here?"

Magneto shook his head. "No. I need time to make arrangements."

Vision looked confused. "Arrangements?"

Tony said, "Mr. Eisenhardt has agreed to help you with things..." Tony made a hand-wavy motion. "It was a last minute decision, so he's got to ...make arrangements."

"I see," Vision said, although he still looked confused. "Thank you, Mr. Eisenhardt, your abilities will be a great help." Vision picked up the thylacine cage and peered inside. "I will return after settling this animal in its new home." He wrapped a cloth around the cage and floated up with it. "Good morning," he said, and then began flying away at a sedate pace.

Magneto watched Vision soar. "You must be very proud of your son," he told Tony, seriously.

"Yeah. Vision is good people." Tony clapped his hands together. "Welp, Dr. Magic, could you PLEASE get us back to the Tower before Pepper gets worried. More worried. So very much..." Tony's phone rang. He winced. "Too late." He answered the call. "Hi! Pep, everything's fine! Wanda's a kid, Steve's an ass, what else is new?" He kept her image on the phone, not as a hologram.

"TONY!"

That sounded like the beginning of hysterics. "Oh, hey, Mystique says she might be a bridesmaid, she's going to ask her wife, Destiny, that's her name, if she wants to be a groomsman, and I just realized, I haven't been looking for groomsmen! You know, there's Rhodey and Happy of course, and I suppose IF she wants, Sue can stuff Reed into a tux, and hope he doesn't spaghetti his way out of it, and Janet could bring grumpy socks Hank, he'll make everyone else look ecstatic and..."

"TONY!"

Tony said, "Sorry? I didn't get a chance to warn you, before something Strange happened. But really, it's fine, everyone's ok. We even got a few opals. Nothing to brag about, but it's a start... still want to marry me?" Tony asked hopefully.

Pepper sighed. "I was THIS close to asking EDITH to blast Wanda from orbit."

Mystique perked up. "She can do that?"

Tony shrugged and did a hand wavy gesture he intended to mean, yes, but she shouldn't. What Mystique made of the gesture was up to her. "EDITH wouldn't do that," he said.

Pepper grinned like a shark. "Don't bet on it. Come home." She ended the call.

Tony looked up in the sky. "EDITH, you do not have permission to blast Wanda." Tony hoped his kids never had to kill anyone. Except maybe Thanos. And if the Chitauri came back. And if... well...you can't be TOO strict with your kids. They need limits, sure, but you don't want them afraid to ever exceed the limits. For a good cause. "EDITH are you listening?"

Mystique asked, "Is this EDITH always watching you?" She looked up, too. Then she waved. "Hello, EDITH."

Chapter Text

"Are we done here? Are you sure?" Dr. Strange asked, scowling. "This sand is getting everywhere." Cloak twitched, sending a flurry of sand to prove his point.

"Are you hangry?" Tony asked. "There's plenty of sushi at the Tower."

"Well, if you insist. I've been too busy to eat, and cloak can be such a nag," Strange said. He gestured and a blue portal formed.

"That's a seriously loyal piece of outerwear," Tony remarked as he stepped through into the Tower and into Pepper's arms. Everyone else followed him, including TOBY with his usual happy burbling now that all the unpleasantness had ended.

"When are you making me a suit?" Pepper asked after hugging him hard.

"It's... it's in the early stages... I was thinking blue and silver."

"Maybe make one for Happy, too. You know he feels left out."

"Happy... huh, you're right, I should ask him. Oh, Stephen is staying for dinner. I don't know what his cloak eats. Do we have maybe a Tide pod?"

Cloak perked up and flew off Stephen's shoulder. TOBY held out his tentacles, and Cloak curled up in them.

Stephen shrugged. "Well, he hasn't been washed in... I don't know... hundreds of years? You do smell a bit musty," Stephen told Cloak, who curled up tighter.

JARVIS said, "I will supervise." The last time TOBY attempted to use the washer Tony got the feeling he was reverting to his octopus roots and trying to turn the laundry room into the ocean.

TOBY and cloak went off happily, partners in clean.

"Mystique and I will go now," Magneto said. "You have all the instructions needed for the mind-blocker. If you have any further questions, you may pass them on to Charles. He always knows where to find me, despite my best efforts," Magneto said, but he didn't sound too upset about it.

"Thanks!" Tony said. He glanced at Pepper. "You're invited to our wedding, too, you know. Whenever."

Magneto smiled. "And will Charles be there?"

Tony nodded. "I haven't asked him yet, and you know, he's busy with the school. So many kids. I can't imagine how he keeps up with them."

Mystique gave a short laugh. "I'm sure you have no idea."

"I... don't know what you mean," Tony said, loftily.

JARVIS cleared his electronic throat. "Indeed."

Chapter Text

After all their guests had left, Stephen via portal with a spring-time fresh cloak around his shoulders while Magneto and Mystique chose to simply walk out of the Tower once she'd shifted to appear like a woman of Magneto's age, well after that, Pepper and Tony just sat on the couch for a while.

"It's crazy," Tony said at last.

Pepper nodded. "It is. But Tony, it's working. Have you realized how much you've accomplished so far?"

"It's a good start," Tony admitted, "but I keep thinking, the only assurance we have is that EDITH exists, so up until she's created, Thanos can't appear to upset our apple cart. So... should I really be pushing to create her? If I put her off until later, that gives more time to line up everything else. Sure, I've got some great people listening to me, and ready to fight, but you can't call it organized."

"The U.N. listened," Pepper said.

Sentinel 42, who was standing nearby and allowing TOBY to add ridiculous stickers to his torso- 'This Way Up', 'Contents Fragile', and 'NonSpillable Battery' nodded. "They were very receptive," 42 said.

Tony shrugged. "Sure, the shock value of discovering little green men on Mars got them interested. But the U.N. can only make suggestions, that get ignored whenever convenient. So, for publicity, it's nice, but in practical terms, it doesn't change much." Tony lay down on the living room couch with his head in Pepper's lap. "I'll make you a suit. But God, I hate the thought that you might need it."

"But just think how good it'll look as a cover photo on our year end business summary brochure."

Tony smiled. "Yeah. Oh, hey, would you wear it in the bedroom?"

Pepper shook her head. "You'd have to be awfully good to deserve that." She nudged at Tony's shoulder. "Get up. We both need sleep."

The next morning Tony woke up from a pleasant dream involving a nebulous big bad named Thanos showing up on Earth but landing in the catacombs of Convento dei Cappuccini in Palermo, Italy. Tony was there, and not there, in dream logic. He was giggling as Thanos walked among the mummies and skeletons and cried because he didn't have anyone to kill.

He tried not to take it as a good omen, but hey, what if they COULD make Thanos think everyone was dead? How good was Wanda's mind control anyway? If she COULD at least distract the guy, the way she did Tony, someone else could take him out of the equation. That is... if Wanda wasn't still a goat. Goat Wanda would be zero help.

Damn it. He was going to have to find out if she was back to normal. Although it had been amusing thinking of kid Wanda bleating and scrambling all over Rogers and trying to eat his Nomad costume if she didn't revert back soon there would be hell to pay. And since Rogers didn't know Dr. Strange, he'd be knocking on Tony's door with his demands.

Hell. The nice dream feeling faded. He'd slept late and missed breakfast with Pepper, and now... he was going to have to...talk to Nick Fury.

After a shower, and coffee. He needed to be fully caffeinated to deal with the 'old man who cares about him so so much'.

After having girded his loins... whatever that meant... put on his underpants, maybe? Tony settled down in the living room with his second cup of coffee. "Friday, call Nick Fury. Hopefully he's in a different time zone and I can spoil his morning."

"Yes, Boss. Calling the ruler of the Kingdom of the Blind!"

Tony grinned. "It's not nice to make fun of a person's physical infirmities, Friday."

"I was running out of those jokes, anyway, Boss. Connecting now."

"Huh, that was quick." Tony grinned a shark's grin when Fury's face appeared. "How's life on the farm?" he said, hearing a bleating noise in the background.

"Just PEACHY," Fury said.

"So, Wanda's still a kid?"

"More like she's a kid again," Fury said.

Rogers came storming up behind Fury and shoved his face into the view. "She KEEPS turning into a goat!"

Tony kept a straight face. "So, it comes and goes? I'll have to ask the magician about that. He's a trainee, so he probably can't help. Did you kiss her?"

"What?" Steve said, flustered. "No! Wanda's just a..."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, you might want to rethink saying that in front of her. Once she's back to..." In the background Tony heard cursing and saw kid Wanda jumping on one of the helicarrier's computer consoles. "What I mean was, you know 'true love's kiss'."

"No," Steve said, "a few minutes after we took off, she went back to normal."

"Huh, ok, did you time it?" Tony was interested in the mechanics of it. If Wanda could be a goat most of the time, and only her normal berserk homicidal self on CUE, that would be great.

"No, I didn't I was... she ATE my sleeve! So I took her back to the helicarrier to make sure it wouldn't make her sick."

Tony didn't laugh, he didn't.

Fury nudged Steve out of the way. "She's fine. It's not a matter of time. We think." Fury looked annoyed. "We think it was something she saw."

"Saw? Do you have pin-ups of barnyard animals on the helicarrier? Not that I'm judging, I'm sure it gets lonely..."

Fury heaved a sigh. "She looked at me and turned into a goat. My face, Stark. She looked at..."

"Your GOATee?" Now, Tony burst out laughing and didn't care how Steve scowled at him. "The spell is a PUN? So, either you shave, or you lose Wanda's services?" And if the spell kept working, Tony would never have to worry about Wanda mind-whammying him again. He decided to send Stephen a nice present. Maybe another Bugatti.

Fury growled. "Laugh it up, Stark."

"Well, it is your fault, Nick. You did send Wanda to my opal mine looking for Vision. Some women just can't take 'no' for an answer."

"What? I never sent her there," Fury said. "The last thing I wanted was to have you two meet again."

"Huh," Tony said thoughtfully. "Wanda said you'd told her that Vision would be there."

Steve looked confused. "But didn't you tell her?" he asked Fury. "She said..." His eyes widened. "Unless..."

Fury's eye narrowed. "I did not say a word. Out loud." Fury looked at Tony. "There was no benefit to me in stirring up trouble with you. I'm not that damn petty, and I'm certainly not that damn stupid." He turned to Rogers. "Get that 'kid' off my helicarrier."

And then the phone call ended.

Tony wondered to do with that information. Wanda had obviously picked Fury's brain. Wonder how much she learned? And he wondered if Fury was going to decide she's more trouble than she's worth. Mmm... oh, doughnuts... yes. It's a good day for doughnuts.

Chapter Text

Tony went back to Haven Harbor to check that none of the departing politicians or generals had left any unpleasant surprises. He didn't mind a few kicked in doors or other minor damages. He'd smashed enough stuff after his stint in captivity, and while the Skrull had more efficient ways of getting cooperation from a prisoner, Tony knew he would have hated it more than beatings and waterboarding. So, yeah, understandable. Probably also understandable the hoard of food hidden in various rooms. None of them had been starved, but Rhodey's description of the 'people chow'... ok, but... Slim Jims and Twinkies under the mattress? That was just sad.

The cleaning crew were discreet, but, you know, generals and politicians? It's tempting to spread funny little jokes about them. Not so funny when you think about it, though. So he took time to have a staff meeting to explain how 'not funny' it was, before pausing to visit the bugged bathroom. "If you're still listening, Fury, no hard feelings." He wouldn't go so far as to apologize for thinking Fury had sicced Wanda on Vision, but it had to be tough on the paranoid old bastard, knowing that Wanda had peeped through the windows of his mind palace. Mind dungeon? Mind labyrinth, most likely.

Haven Harbor really should be used, Tony thought as he wandered through the rooms, empty except for the maintenance staff and the few scientists and doctors who had work here. Xavier had a training facility which was in constant use by the older students.Tony had planned to open HH to the online community of HAVEN, but according to JARVIS and Happy, very few people were willing to leave their homes and jobs to indefinitely mooch off Tony. 'Mooch' was Happy's word for it, JARVIS put it more diplomatically. Sure, Dr. Cho had her lab and assistants, but even they wanted a separation from work and their private living arrangements.

Now the Avengers, they'd had no problem with it. Even Wilson, who had his own house, had signed up for indefinite residence and perpetual training. In retrospect it was odd how Rogers had given up his apartment in DC, and Romanoff... well, who knew, maybe she had lived on the helicarrier and didn't have another web to hang out in. But still, you'd have thought such independent souls would have chafed at giving up their freedom in exchange for doing whatever Rogers wanted. And you would have thought that Maximoff would have despised being dependent on Tony's generosity.

It wasn't as if any of them couldn't get jobs and blend in, not like some of the poor bastards SHIELD had locked up on the Raft. People who couldn't hide what they were...huh... Xavier had ways of helping his people pass for human. Did Magneto? Not that he'd admitted to having people but the way Mystique followed him. That was rather revealing. Magneto had an air of accustomed command and when he talked about 'making arrangements' that implied obligations, and people depending on him.

So... maybe...worth a try. Tony went outside and gazed around the landscape. Plenty of trees. Lots of room for outdoor activities, plus the assorted small private buildings. It wasn't as impressive as Xavier's school (and yes, Tony had looked it up online. It was disguised as a boarding school, expensive and exclusive, and it looked it.) Tony pulled out his phone. "JARVIS, call Professor Xavier."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Stark. How may I be of assistance?" Xavier looked as cool and unruffled as ever.

Tony said, "Mr. Eisenhardt said you might be able to contact him and pass on any questions."

Xavier gave Tony a slight smile. "Well, I can try."

"Great. Here's the thing," Tony said, turning the phone around and scanning to give a good view of the grounds and the main building. "I have this big facility, currently sadly underutilized. Dr. Helen Cho has her lab, and I have a workshop, plus a few assorted other science types, but no one is actually living here. I'd envisioned it as a training facility and living space for people willing to dedicate themselves to preparing to protect the Earth from alien invasion. Not the Skrull, they're busy making friends and kissing politicians, but someone bigger and badder. From all accounts he's not in it for profit, or territory, or pride, or pretty much any of the normal reasons for making war. I didn't get into details with you when we met, and then you did me the favor of sussing out Riva, which many thanks, wow, that guy. Happy is on him, so he'll get yanked one of these days..."

Xavier continued to look at Tony mildly.

"You're just going to let me ramble on forever, are you?" Tony said.

Xavier smiled. "A mind like yours... and no, I haven't been reading it... you just... it must be exhausting in there with the constant shifting of focus. I would offer to help you refine your thought process, but ..."

"Yeah, no thank you," Tony said, refraining from shivering at the thought. "So, getting back on track. I don't know if Mr. Eisenhardt has people who could use my Haven Harbor. We'd have to discuss it. Have him look it over. See if we could come to some arrangement." Tony shrugged. "I understand that he might not want to risk trusting me, and I'd have to trust him that they were reliable, but it's an option we could discuss."

"True," Xavier said. He steepled his fingers and put on a thoughtful look. "You must be very concerned about this 'big bad'."

"Yeah. I've known something, someone, was coming since the battle at New York. And all the scattered freaky events that have happened around the world since. SHIELD, or Nick Fury, at least, thought half a dozen people would take care of any little pesky things like an invading alien army. Granted, he did have other irons in the fire, but... he got burnt." Tony grinned at several witty things he could say but decided not to because Xavier would just sit there and not be offended. That takes a lot of fun out of wisecracking.

Xavier nodded. "Very well, I will pass the message along. I do hope you are able to come to an equitable arrangement. If not for anything else, I would wish to see Mystique in a more nurturing environment. She has great potential... and an even greater history of betrayal and loss."

"Yeah, I could see that." Tony looked at Xavier as a new thought occurred. "Do you have any cute kids here?"

"What?" For once Tony had succeeded in startling Xavier.

"I've been lining up a lot of potential bridesmaids, but I forgot about ringbearers and flower girls."

Chapter Text

"Mr. Stark. This is a boarding school. Not a day boarding school," Xavier said.

"Yes? I know, your students live here. It'd be a fun day out for the little ones. Give them a chance to be the center of attention for a little while and not have classes and... I'm sure you don't allow bullying, but the power imbalance of the older kids can be... a little... discouraging," Tony said. Xavier didn't seem impressed by his reasoning.

Xavier unsteepled his fingers and massaged his temples. "It is most unusual to board students of an age ideally suited for 'ringbearer' and 'flower girl' roles. The most common entry point in the United States is between 9th and 10th grades, between the ages of fourteen to sixteen. Here, at The Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters that age may be slightly younger as mutant nature usually becomes apparent at puberty, but even then, unless the parents are themselves mutants, it may be several years after mutant 'activation' before the child finds their way to our doors."

"No seven year olds?" Tony asked. "At all?"

"No, Mr. Stark. It is generally accepted that the traditional family unit is an essential part of childhood social and character development," Xavier said softly. "While we try to make this school a nurturing environment, and indeed, it is often far better than the situations many of our youngsters leave to come here, we would not willingly separate a young child from their parents."

"Huh," Tony said. "I guess that makes sense. Unless the kid has an obvious career path at seven years old, a boarding school is probably a waste of time. So... is that a no? I mean I was hoping for little and cute, but I'm flexible."

Xavier sighed. "Perhaps, when you have a date set, you might get back to me."

Tony nodded. "Ok. Good idea. Wouldn't want to get a kid's hopes up and then have to put it off because aliens or giant amoebas emerging from the Hudson."

"Yess, I suppose that is a possibility. As I said, I will pass your message on to Magneto. Good day, Mr. Stark."

"Right. Bye. I'll let you get back to nurturing young minds," Tony said as the call ended. No seven year olds at all? How strange. Still, when Tony guessed how much his education must have cost, he could see that most people couldn't afford to get their children fast tracked.

So, where to now? Back to the Tower? Hop the suborbital to visit Australia? The Tower. Yeah. He might get to see Pepper for a few minutes, maybe even Happy in between shifts watching Riva. The last report he had, Riva had stopped trying to bullshit people around the water cooler. Happy didn't think he'd given up, but there was nothing to do except wait for him to show his true colors to the world.

Feeling in a mood to be unobtrusive, Tony got into his Audi Rs Sportback Performance. It was a subtle Mercato Blue not as attention grabbing as his new Misano Red R8 LMS GT2. For a race car it's possibly street legal, but definitely an eye turner. Fun to drive around the airfield and track behind the trees. Sometimes he just likes to let loose. But driving back to NYC, the poor engine would feel stifled, so subtle he would be.

Tony had deliberately left TOBY behind at the Tower to play with DUM-E and U (with JARVIS and Friday keeping an electronic eye on them) because he felt the bot was becoming too fixated on him. He had to admit he missed the constant soft burbling and the gentle metallic sounds of TOBY's tentacles, so apparently he was also overly attached. TOBY was young, though... maybe Tony shouldn't try to push him away, if it was going to mess up his social development.

Not that TOBY is the least bit shy, not like DUM-E and U... hmm, yeah, they spent their early years pretty much cloistered in a lab or workshop, with only Tony and AC/DC for company.

He'd have to do something for Vision. But it's hard to find playmates to match, and it's not as if he can spare Vision in Pastralia. Maybe Xavier can suggest something. He does have a lot of experience with children.

Tony decided that if and when he and Pepper did have a kid, they weren't going to be sent to boarding school. If they turn out to be a genius Tony can get them specialized teachers. If they need other kids for socializing they'll figure something out. S.I. has a day care, doesn't it? He's pretty sure he remembers signing off on one years ago. He has a vague idea he did, anyway.

By the time Tony made his way through city traffic and parked in the Tower garage, he was regretting his impulse to drive, rather than fly. It was probably good to get down among the average citizen once in a while, but this would last him for a long, long time. Next week the UN would be in session, he was glad he didn't try it then. The Skrull would be hitting the fan even harder by then, and everyone who wanted a look at a real live 'little green man from Mars' would be hovering around, cluttering up the streets. Not that they'd have any hope of catching a glimpse.

As he was taking the elevator up to the penthouse, his phone rang. Since JARVIS didn't delay it for confirmation it must be someone JAY thought Tony would want to hear from.

"Yallo," Tony said, an instant before a face appeared. "Jesus! Miles!" Tony shouted when he saw the blood streaked, but grinning, face of the newest spider-kid. "What happened?"

"Oh, I'm good!" Miles said. "Just wanted to thank you for the suit. I mean, really thank you. I was... well, it could have been bad, but the suit protected me. I met Mr. Parker and he's great. He talked to my dad and I'm only sort of grounded for the rest of my life." He smiled.

"But are you hurt?"

"Oh, this?" Miles wiped his face clean with a couple paper towels. "Peter was showing me how he likes his sandwiches squished. It's ketchup."

"And you couldn't have cleaned up before calling me? Want to give an old man a heart attack?"

"It's Halloween! Boo!" Miles said before hanging up.

"No treats for you after that trick!" Tony said, too late. "Kids. Do I really want to be a dad?" Tony thought about it for a second, and then he smiled. "Hell, yes."

"JARVIS, do we have a day care in the building?"

"We do indeed, sir," JARVIS said. "They are currently having a masquerade party."

Tony touched the nano-casing on his chest. "Awesome. Is Iron Man on the invitation list?"

"For you, always, Sir," JARVIS said fondly as Tony suited up.

Chapter Text

"May I recommend alerting the day care staff of your imminent arrival, Sir?" JARVIS said, as the elevator destination changed to the daycare (set on the ground floor level for safety reasons).

"Good idea, don't want anyone hurt in the stampede to see Iron Man." Tony braced himself in an impressive hero pose.

"That seems unlikely," JARVIS said as the elevator doors opened. The teachers' and aides' desks were empty. The adults were gathered in a circle, backs to the elevator. Children were visible inside the circle, seemingly all sitting on the carpeted floor.

"Huh." Tony stomped up to the security door to let it recognize him and open. The wash of cheerful children's voices wasn't quite enough to cover up TOBY's burbling, and Bruce and Tiger happily yipping in response to the children doing their best to sound like Tasmanian Tigers.

"Hello?" Tony opened the faceplate. One of the teachers turned to look at him.

"Oh, hello, Mr. Stark," she said cheerfully. "Friday said you wouldn't mind if we had visitors."

"Friday?" Tony asked.

"Well," Friday said, "they were bored. DUM-E and U wanted to clean up the workshop, but TOBY and the pups wanted to play with people."

Tony sighed. "JARVIS, why didn't you warn me?"

JARVIS said, "It must have slipped my mind."

Tony decided not to issue his usual meaningless threats. Kids wouldn't understand. "Fine. I'll just stand here in the corner and be alllll alone." Tony put on his best sad-eyed impression.

A little girl giggled.

A boy tilted his head and stopped putting stickers on TOBY. "Do you like Legos?"

"Do I like LEGOS?" Tony asked. "I built Iron Man, in a cave, FROM LEGOS!"

Pepper found Tony two hours later, in the daycare, out of the Iron Man suit, kneeling on the floor to help build a totally non aerodynamic pterodactyl out of Legos. The pterodactyl was wearing a blonde wig and a tutu from the dress up box, while Iron Man was wearing a black wig, and shimmying three hula hoops at once around his metal hips.

Tony looked up at Pepper and grinned. Pepper laughed and looked around. "Oh! Finger painting! I used to love that." She took off her heels and went to an unused easel and began painting Iron Man in broad swipes of red and yellow, with purple, blue and green for the hula hoops.

Tony settled down to watch Pepper, surrounded by children, helpfully offering tips, and spattering her expensive business skirt suit with rainbow colors.

"You've never been more beautiful, Potts," he said.

Pepper smirked at him. "I know."

Chapter Text

"SIR!" Tony's phone rang at the same instant JARVIS called out. The suit stopped hulaing and opened up, inviting Tony to get inside.

"What?" Tony jumped to his feet but didn't get in the suit. His phone connected and Happy's face appeared. He was bloody, and this time Tony was sure it wasn't ketchup.

"Tony!" Happy wavered, and shook off someone's hand, one of his security people. "Riva. He faked us out, set off a bomb to distract us. He tracked you, somehow I don't know. Jess is going to you, but she flies like a brick."

"What?" Tony asked again, looking around. He froze when he saw Riva, standing outside the security door, wearing an S.I. security guard's uniform, with the badge pinned to it. There was a streak of blood on the shoulder.

Riva grinned. It wasn't a sane expression. "You killed Beck." He was holding a pre-Afghanistan S.I. gun in one hand, and an equally outdated S.I. grenade in the other. Outdated, but very unlikely to have weakened.

Tony didn't bother tossing the blame to Fury. It wouldn't matter to Riva. He'd set his mind on Tony as the source of all evil. "Hey, you wanna talk to me? Let's just... step outside. I'll leave the suit here. We don't need to spoil the kids' party."

"Sure. You just open the door and come out," Riva said.

"SIR," JARVIS said urgently, "I strongly advise against this."

"Yeaah," Tony said, "I know it's not a great idea, but do you have anything better?" Riva knew what he had, and he knew it could blast right through the security door. It wasn't intended to take that kind of force. Bullets, yes. Grenades, no.

Riva waggled the grenade. "Don't think you can talk your way out of this. I know Hogan's set the dogs after me."

The children and teachers had been watching silently, shocked. Now some of the youngest ones began to cry.

"Right, right, I'll be out in a sec. Just... let me have a word with Pepper."

Riva seemed amused by that. "Sure, say your goodbyes."

Tony went to Pepper.

"Tony, no," she said. "Wait. Jessica's coming."

"Can't risk it," Tony said. He pulled something out of his pocket. "I was going to give you this later. You know, 'something blue'?" He showed her a necklace with a large blue crystal set in a silvery chain. He put it around her neck and kissed her. He whispered in her ear. "Tap it twice. Her name is Rescue."

"Hurry up," Riva said.

"Right. I'm coming. Kids, back away from the door." The teachers hastily pushed all the desks over and made what barricade they could, and huddled the children behind it, with each teacher curled over as many children as they could cover.

"JARVIS, look after Pepper and the kids," Tony said.

Iron Man closed up. "As you wish, Sir." He stood in front of the barricade. Then he picked up the Legodactyl and placed that on top, wings spread to provide what additional shielding Lego plastic would afford.

Tony checked that there was no one behind him. Pepper hadn't crouched behind the barricade with the others, but she was off to one side, hand clutching nervously at the necklace.

He got close to the security door and took a deep breath. "You know, this won't look good on your year end perfomance review," he told Riva.

"Open the door. Trick or treat!" Riva said.

"Yeah, yeah. All right." Tony hit the security code and lunged forward.

Riva had been holding the grenade with the pin already pulled. He threw it, not at Tony, but over Tony's head.

"Pepper!" Tony shouted, just as Riva shot him. Got him in the shoulder, but Tony's momentum kept him going, to land just short of Riva, who'd danced back and jumped to the side.

After that everything happened in a rush, and Tony was only able to piece the sequence of events together later. He heard Pepper screaming, the children screaming,TOBY making a god awful elephant noise, and then he was picked up and flung sideways by concussive force and his ears were ringing so badly everything was muffled.

He rolled to his side with an effort, coughing against particles of explosive, and dry wall, and maybe other stuff. There was debris all around him. Most of it was light, and colorful... and he recognized the Legodactyl. Pockmarked with shrapnel lodged in it, but still in mostly one piece.

"Sir," JARVIS said from Iron Man, muffled and vague. "Do not move. I am still assessing your injuries."

"Pep." Tony pushed at the Legodactyl. "Get me up. Pep."

Iron Man carefully got Tony to his feet. Pepper stood, arms outstretched, looking like a statue in her blue and silver Iron suit, easily visible because all the plexiglass of the day care wall was shattered. . "I..." she said. Her face plate retracted and she looked at Tony. Her freckles stood out against her shock white face. "I... I... I caught a grenade for you." Pepper giggled nervously. "But I didn't want it, so... I gave it back."

Tony blinked. At the far end of the corridor, Riva lay very still. TOBY had a tentacle pressed against Riva's chest. TOBY made a sad, soft burble, and retracted his tentacle.

Tony shook his head, grateful that Riva only knew how to make bombs, not how to handle them. If he'd held onto it for a second longer Pepper wouldn't have had time to throw it back.

There was a loud crashing noise from the lobby. Tony blinked again, and time seemed to pass in jumps. He noticed the teachers escorting the children carefully over the debris as JARVIS picked Tony up and led the way outside. Blue flashing lights. TOBY carrying Bruce and Tiger. Jessica, looking really pissed off maybe because she didn't get to punch anyone. Pepper, his blue and silver angel, explaining things to... ambulance people... doctors...who were trying to get Tony onto a stretcher.

"The kids?" Tony managed to ask. He was getting a little light-headed. Maybe the red along his side wasn't just finger paint.

"All good," Pepper said. "Doctors are checking to be sure. Parents are on their way."

One little boy was staring at Pepper in awe. "I want to be you when I grow up," he said.

Tony smiled. "So do I," he said.

Chapter Text

Thing were fuzzy for a while, in and out of focus, not helped by the weird feeling of having his bed following people around empty corridors, and white ceilings with bright white lights in them. Tony liked bots, but this bed bot wasn't paying any attention to Tony's orders. It didn't stop something from pinching him in the arm.

Pepper had been walking next to the bed bot at first. She looked so shiny. She'd put Rescue back in her locket, but Pepper was always shiny. The shiniest. Like stars. Like a... "Wha else's shiny...stars an... moon... an dimons... but opal... more better..."

And then Pepper was gone and someone was telling him to count backwards from a hundred, which is insultingly stupid, but he didn't want to make a fuss. "One hunnerd, ninety nighhh..."

Tony woke up but didn't move. He was trying to remember if he'd said anything stupid during the first wake up when the surgeon talked with him. He groaned mentally. He was pretty sure he'd complained about the air smelling green, which was stupid. Still, could be worse. He opened his eyes. No people, not hooked up to anything. Chest sore and there's a little crunching sound of bandaging when he breathed. Nice room. Table with flowers, pitcher of water. TV on the wall, not the latest model, but good size. Even had a window looking out on a tree. An odd looking tree...

He found the bed control and elevated the head just enough so he could better see the tree. And then he laughed even though it made his shoulder twinge. Spider web spelling out 'Get Well Soon'.

Tony grinned and turned on the TV. In a while he'd ring for a nurse if one didn't wander by on their own, and ask how soon he could get out of here, but he wanted to finish waking up first.

Heels clicking on hospital tile in a rhythm Tony would recognize anywhere. He turned to see Pepper entering the room, carrying... a blue and gray plush pterodactyl. Tony laughed.

"I couldn't bring the lego one," Pepper said.

And Tony remembered the shrapnel caught in the tough ABS plastic of the toy. "He died in a good cause."

"The best," Pepper said as she propped the plush on the bed next to Tony. She leaned her head against Tony's good shoulder. "What a day."

"I know. Did Happy ever find out how Riva slipped his watchdogs?"

Pepper scowled and stood up. "He had a gadget Beck made. They found it later. It creates illusions so they didn't realize he was gone until it glitched. When they broke in, the bomb went off, but Jessica had gone in first, so she blocked most of it. No one was badly hurt... until he got to the Tower."

Pepper drew a deep breath. "He'd stolen an S.I. pass card and came in through the underground garage. He stabbed a security guard and took his uniform."

"How is he?" Tony asked, worried that someone else had died as 'collateral'.

"They think he'll be all right, eventually. He was stabbed with a thin bladed knife and it was left in the wound, probably because Riva didn't want too much blood on the clothes." Pepper shuddered. "He must have pulled the shirt off over the knife."

"Poor bastard," Tony said.

"It's horrible, yes, but I don't feel much sympathy for him. When they found him he was babbling about Riva cheating him. He's the one who told Riva where to find you today."

"Shit, that... complicates things. I wonder if he knew what Riva planned?"

Pepper shrugged. "He must have known it wasn't anything good, even if he didn't know the details. S.I. will still pay his medical, but he's fired after this."

Tony nodded after a moment. "He'll say he was fired unfairly after being injured in the line of duty."

"He might," Pepper agreed. "I don't care. The security footage was blanked, so we can't prove anything, but I won't waste any time trying to be fair to him. And if he's got any sense at all he won't risk us pinning him as an accomplice to Riva's attempted murder of you. Me. And a day care full of small children and their teachers. Getting his medical bills paid is better than he deserves. Happy is going to visit him and explain it to him."

"Ouch," Tony said.

There was a metallic sound from the corridor. Tony glanced at Pepper.

Pepper shook her head. "I had left 42 in the Penthouse because I wanted some time with you, without my robot chaperone, and now he gets upset if I'm out of sight."

"I think 42 needs therapy," Tony said.

"Don't look at me," a voice came from the corridor. "I draw the line at human MRIs, treating mental trauma in robots is definitely out of my line." Dr. Strange entered the room. "No, I'm not your physician," Stephen said without giving Pepper or Tony a chance to speak, "and no, I can't sign the paperwork to let you leave against medical advice. I've been WARNED about that."

"Well, why are you here, then?" Tony asked. "Do you want to steal my jello?" Tony hugged the plush. "You can't have Pterry."

Strange said, "I'm crushed. Devastated. However will I survive. It's not my colors, anyway. Get the robot out of the corridor, I think it has a crush on the floor polisher." Strange's red necktie flipped Tony off as Stephen left the room.

Pepper looked at Tony. "When did our life become..."

"So Strange?" Tony completed.

Chapter Text

It took some persuasion for Tony's doctor to release him so soon, but Dr. Cho had agreed to stay in the Tower to look after him for as long as was necessary. With Tony's permission she'd read over his treatment notes.

"Your surgeon gave you an upper extremity nerve block," Helen said to Tony, with Pepper standing by listening intently. "Your arm will be numb for up to 48 hours. You will NOT throw away the sling even after that. The bullet didn't sever any major blood vessels and didn't hit bone, but there was damage to tendon and ligaments. Your wound has not been sutured, in order to allow swelling to decrease and tissues to heal. You will not lift anything heavy even with your other arm. RICE is in order. Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation."

Tony huffed. "I've been here before, Helen, none of this is new."

Pepper said, "And neither are you, Tony. I know you think you're indestructible and pain is all in your mind, but you aren't twenty years old. You can't just shrug it off and keep 'going through the pain'."

Tony gave Pepper a dirty look. "I know my own limits."

Pepper said, "And you take them as suggestions rather than actual rules to live by."

"Come on, Pep. You know I can't just laze around, there's too much to do."

"And there are many people doing it," Dr. Cho said.

"Also," a voice came from the window, which was now open even though it didn't have a mechanism for opening, "the writer told me she feels bad about how overworked you are."

Everyone looked at the man clinging to the outside of the window. He was dressed in red and black leathery looking material almost entirely unlike the spider suit Tony had made for Peter except for the large eyepatches that seemed to have similar muscular expansion contraction ability. The suit completely covered his entire body, with holsters full of guns all over it and what looked suspiciously like a pair of katanas cross holstered to his back.

Sentinel 42 ran into the room and pushed in front of Pepper. "Stop!" 42 said, holding up his hands with the repulsor blue glow brightly threatening.

"Oh, don't get your chrome plated knickers in a twist, Robby," the man said. "I just dropped in to say 'hi' and you know, tell your daddy he should rest. Not, you know 'you can rest now, Tony'," he said in a falsetto. "As if a loving wife would say that to her dying husband, father of her child. Pfft, lazy writing, that's what it is."

Tony had reclaimed his nano-suit pendant, but he hesitated before activating it. It would really be painful with his current position. And while this character was definitely not tracking with a full set of neurons, he wasn't actually threatening.

"What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?"

"Oh, oh! I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Wade Wilson, my secret identity is Deadpool." Deadpool hit the side of his head. "Got that backwards, you won't tell anyone! You're SO GOOD at keeping your own secret identity, Mr. 'I am IRON MAN'... catchy song, though. But did you pay for licensing? I think NOT!" Deadpool waved a finger at Tony. "It's all about the money, honey!"

Sentinel 42 took several steps further towards the window, bracing himself. "If you do not leave now I will make you leave."

"Come on! This is like close to 150,000 words without ME! I just got tired of waiting. And YOU GOT a PTERODACTYL. That is SO COOL. I mean, I have my unicorn and I love her a lot, but a ptero...."

Sentinel 42 put out his arms and pushed Deadpool off the ledge.

"WHEEE!" Deadpool said. "Ow."

Pepper and Dr. Cho rushed over to the window. "OH," Pepper said, with her hand over her mouth. "Oh, my God."

Dr. Cho looked seriously disturbed. "He landed on the security fence. One of the spikes..."

"AND it's GROSS," they heard Deadpool say. "PIGEON POOP. I have pigeon poop in my body!" His voice lowered. "White box says I have had MUCH worse things in my body. But what does white box know?"

EMTs ran out of the building and lifted Deadpool off the fence. "Thanks, guys!" Deadpool said, and then poked at the hole that ran through his stomach, letting something unidentifiable fall out. "Damn it, I lost my chimichanga. You owe me $19 for a grilled chicken chimichanga, Graffiti Boy!"

"That is a seriously disturbed individual," Tony said. And with a better healing ability than Captain America. "Pepper, give the man a twenty."

Chapter Text

Tony rolled down to the ground floor in a wheelchair, over his objections- it's my SHOULDER, not my legs-, but with Helen, Pepper, AND 42 all insisting, it was faster to give in, to meet Deadpool, who was poking at the hole in his suit. "Wilson... no, I can't call you Wilson. I'll get you confused with the ex-Falcon."

Deadpool nodded. "I know. It's weird how many names get duplicated around here. It's weird, isn't it?" Deadpool said while turning to look at blank space next to his head.

"Very weird," Pepper said. She had her hand resting on Rescue's container.

"I apologize," Sentinel 42 said. "I did not intend to cause you serious injury. I thought you would simply go down the way you had come up."

Deadpool tilted his head. "I was hanging outside your daddy's hospital room, armed to the teeth-- teethed to the arm? and you're sorry you pushed me out the window?"

"Yes," 42 said.

"Wow, you're really in the wrong line of business," Deadpool said. "Maybe you should take up knitting baby booties. Or making cakes! Everyone likes cakes."

"Quit confusing my robot," Tony said."What do you want?"

"I want what everyone wants! World peace- as long as it doesn't cost me anything- and free wi-fi and Taco Tuesdays twice a week. We could rename Thursday. Thor's not here right now, so why should he have a day?"

Tony blinked. "I don't think you're crazy. I think you just don't give a shit what you say."

Deadpool waggled his hand in a 'maybe' way. "Oh, you want me to pretend to be sane?"

"Sure, why not," Tony said.

Deadpool laced his fingers together and put them to his chin. "I'll try anything once. I've been watching the news. In between Golden Girls reruns. The U.N. says there have been little green men on Mars for thousands of years. Which, ok, fine, it's not like we were using Mars. But why are they showing up NOW, I ask myself." Deadpool turned his head. "Not, you myself. Me myself." He then turned back to Tony. "And I thought I should ask someone who's been in space and saw aliens. Not, you know, people from Mexico because they're not really aliens, but space aliens. But NASA wouldn't answer my phone calls. And I didn't want to bother Captain Kirk. He was just a tourist, anyway."

Tony blinked again. "Uh huh."

"And then I remembered YOU!" Deadpool pointed at Tony. "You went up into that hole in the sky, Rocket Man, after beating up a bunch of aliens in Manhattan, and I thought if anyone knew what was up there, it would be you. SO." Deadpool bounced a little. His stomach had already healed up by now, thankfully. "So, I came to ask you if there are mean aliens, and which would be better against them, Katana or Kalashnikov." Deadpool's mask eyes widened.

Tony was silent for a long moment. "The little green guys are on our side, so please don't shoot or stab any of them."

Deadpool's head tilted again. "Ok, little green guys off limits. But if they're on our side, who's on the other side?"

"If I knew, you'd be the last person I'd tell," Tony said.

"SO, YOU DO KNOW!" Deadpool said. "Come on, tell me. Look, you don't have to give me a name, just like... where are their weak spots?"

Tony shook his head and turned the wheel chair. "Check me out, this guy's giving me a headache."

"Do they have NUTS?" Deadpool shouted while Tony, Pepper, and Dr. Cho returned to the hospital ground floor, with 42 backing up to keep Deadpool from following.

"JARVIS," Tony said once they were far enough away that hopefully Deadpool couldn't hear them. "If Wade Wilson or Deadpool joins HAVEN, keep a close watch on his posts. He'd be good to have in a fight, but I don't want him driving everyone else mad."

Once back in the Tower, Tony really meant to sneak off and do some work, but he kept getting distracted by Dr. Cho and Pepper and wound up falling asleep.

At least it was in his own bed, with Pepper to big spoon him. A while later he heard TOBY burble his way into the room, and then two soft thumps as Bruce and Tiger landed on the bed. They sniffed around and then pushed their way under the covers to curl up against his chest.

Ok, yeah, he could take a day off. Save the world tomorrow.

Chapter Text

"SIR, I hate to disturb your rest, but I do believe you should take this call," JARVIS said.

Tony scrubbed at his face awkwardly because he'd forgot he was temporarily one-armed. And that made him think of Barnes the plum seller and go down other associated paths that were too likely to spiral into negativity. No, stick with the now. Ugh, his beard was all scruffy and his eyes were gummy.

"How long did I sleep?" Tony noticed the absence of Pepper and pups, but the Tower light-block on the windows never showed what the day was like when it was in sleep mode.

"Eight hours and seventeen minutes," JARVIS said in a pleased tone of voice.

"Eh, that's not a new record." Tony sat up, yawned and finger combed his hair a bit. "Do I look presentable enough for a video call?"

"Your previous records generally included pharmaceuticals or imbibing to excess," JARVIS pointed out. "I believe video is required in this instance."

Tony shrugged. "Whatever, go for it."

JARVIS used the room's equipment to project a holgram. "Call connecting," he announced, just before Hank Pym's scowling face appeared.

"So you're not dead," Hank said.

"Don't sound so disappointed," Tony replied. "You still have time to kiss up to me to earn a place in my will."

Hank's face twisted in disgust. Then he turned to his side. "You hear that? He's FINE."

Janet pushed Hank out of the way. Her eyes swept up and down, checking Tony out. "Thank goodness." She shook a finger at Tony. "You must take better care of yourself! I almost went back for you!" And then she moved away from the pickup.

"What?" Tony asked, "What was all that about?"

Hank scowled. "I didn't want to tell you."

Tony perked up. "Oh, it must be good, then. JARVIS, can TOBY bring me coffee?"

"It is not TOBY's function," JARVIS said.

"Consider it part of his life-saving mission."

JARVIS didn't reply, but Tony could imagine the disapproval in the silence.

"Ok, Hank, hit me with it," Tony said, without waiting for the coffee.

"Janet can sense time zones in the Quantum Realm."

Tony nodded.

Hank huffed. "I figured out how to quantify it, and automate it."

Tony was extremely interested, but kept his mouth shut, not wanting to give Hank an excuse to claim insult.

"I made suits to work in conjunction with the quantum tunnel, side-stepping the Quantum Realm."

"Not side-stepping," Janet said from somewhere in the background. "Passing through in non-material form. You don't want Kang to notice you. He's such a bore."

"Yeah, right," Hank said. "So, we saw you on the news, and Janet said if you were dead we had to go back and fix it."

"Wait, what, fuck with the time-line?" Tony was really, to put it mildly, astonished that Hank would agree to that.

Hank shrugged. "Janet's looked at a lot of futures and she says the ones without you... we're screwed. So it's worth risking creating a new timeline, if the Multiverse hypothesis holds true. If it's a Dynamic Timeline we'd maybe have a short window of opportunity before changing it would cause a paradox. If it's a Fixed Timeline, then going back to save you was always done, and you weren't really dead, just mostly dead."

"Huh," Tony said. "Still risky, but yeah. Really? Screwed without Tony Stark? Usually it's the opposite."

Hank's response to Tony's halfhearted joke was an increase in scowling. "Janet wanted to do it yesterday, but your Friday hacked the hospital records and said you'd survive."

"Friday is still in your systems?" Not that Tony really minded all that much, because no matter where she or any of her clones were, they were all Tony's babies and wouldn't do anything against him.

"Yeah, Scott left a copy behind when you stole him from me. Friday is... actually quite useful. For a Stark creation," Hank admitted reluctantly.

Janet pushed back into view. "Friday is GREAT. She helped adjust the time-suits so they automatically compensate for planetary movement through time, so you don't wind up in space breathing vacuum."

Hank nodded. "You did notice that when you played around in Past Australia?"

Tony had to admit to himself he hadn't considered that. But he didn't have to give Hank the satisfaction. "Of course, I assumed you knew what you were doing, Hank. I trusted you," he said, putting on his most innocent face, just as TOBY appeared carrying a mug of what had better be coffee in one tentacle.

"You didn't let DUM-E make this, did you?" Tony asked as he accepted it. Looked like coffee, smelled like coffee. Tony took a sip and gave TOBY a thumbs up. "Good job, TOBY."

"Janet wanted to see for herself that you were still around," Hank said. His scowl deepened. "I don't believe you're all that important." And then Hank ended the connection.

Tony was torn between being amused by Hank, and concerned that maybe Janet was right, and everyone would be screwed without him. "JARVIS, order me some vitamins, all the vitamins. I need to stay healthy."

Chapter Text

Tony headed for some breakfast, but stopped when he passed 42 sitting on the living room couch, surrounded by metal frames made up of horizontal bars supported by vertical posts with sturdy feet, so the whole thing stayed in place despite 42 constantly pulling at the many, many, different balls of brightly colored, shining threads stuck on the horizontal bars.

"Is that... are you KNITTING?"

"Yes, sir," 42 said. "Ms. Potts said that I was no longer to consider her protection my sole purpose. As she now possesses Rescue, I am redundant."

"Oh, I'm sure she didn't mean it that way. You're a great bot, 42, and you shouldn't limit yourself." Did 42 really need therapy? Knitting was a bit ODD, but it didn't mean he was traumatized, did it?

42 tilted his head. "Friday and JARVIS concur that bodyguarding is not my forte. I considered baking cakes, but I would be unable to judge the quality as I do not possess a sense of taste."

"So. Knitting. Baby booties?"

"I hope some day to produce items of apparel, but as yet, my skills are insufficient. However. I have made this for you, sir." 42 stopped the rapid clicking of needles so fine Tony only saw them as a blur, and picked up a softly shining length of gold and red fabric knitted in a seamless loop that was resting on a pile of other knitted rectangles. "A sling," 42 said proudly.

"My arm's ok," Tony said. It had regained feeling and he'd been able to tuck his hand inside his pajama top between buttons. So, he looked a little like Napoleon. Eh, wouldn't be the first time someone made that comparison.

"Doctor Cho strongly advised the use of the sling until your wound is healed," 42 said. He held the cloth out to Tony.

"Fine," Tony took the sling and put it on. 42 had made it exactly the right length. "Huh, this is really comfortable. What's it made of?" he asked as he moved and the cloth shimmered. "Rayon? Silk?"

"It is a synthetic spider silk," 42 said, "Miles gave me his formula for it, as an apology, and JARVIS instructed me in modifying it. It is not sticky, does not dissolve, and before being spun, accepts dyes for any colors."

"Huh," Tony said again. "Pepper should talk to Miles, see if he wants to monetize at least this version."

JARVIS said, "One of the processes requires the fluid being bathed in arc reactor radiation."

"Ok, scratch that. Home use only, I guess."

"Ms. Potts has already requested an afghan." 42's eye slots glowed. "If there is time, I would like to create a wedding dress for her."

Tony patted 42 on the shoulder. "Work your way up to it... maybe make sweaters for Bruce and Tiger... where are they anyway?"

JARVIS said,"TOBY has taken them to the roof garden. They are learning how to dig. Quite enthusiastically. It appears their species may prepare dens."

"They grow up so fast." Tony decided the next time he took them to the compound they should stay there. Growing pups need more space, especially if they're diggers.

After breakfast Tony let Dr. Cho fuss over him a little. "Is there a reason you don't want to use the Cradle at Haven Harbor?" she asked after checking his wound and rebandaging it.

Tony could have smacked himself in the head for not thinking of it. "At the hospital you were reading me all the normal post-op care routines. I didn't think it was an option!"

Dr. Cho gave Tony a LOOK. "I'm not going to discuss my Cradle in front of doctors who haven't signed NDAs."

"Ok, yeah, but you could have said something later."

"I am saying it now. You're not healing as fast as I would like." Helen scowled at Tony as if his slow healing was a personal insult to her.

"JARVIS has already ordered vitamins," Tony said. "I'm fine, just a little rundown. Nothing a few days off won't fix."

Helen sighed. "That may be true, but will you take those few days off?"

"I'll try." If Janet is right, Tony can't afford to be reckless with his health. "Unless there's an emergency, I'll take a whole week off. Maybe I'll catch up on my reading. Teach the pups a few tricks. Sun bathe. Listen to whale songs?"

Helen laughed. "Sure you will. For a start, let me use the Cradle for the tissue damage. Remember, it doesn't take care of everything! Just because it stops hurting, doesn't mean your body forgets the recent insult."

Haven Harbor was back to the current normal with all the Skrull 'guests' returned to their previous lives with whatever explanations/ cover stories/ excuses were required. The place was really quiet with just the maintenance staff, and of course JARVIS and Friday, and Dr. Cho's group.

True to her word, the Cradle healed his shoulder, but he still felt bone-deep tired. Once he stopped running it had caught up to him. Pepper couldn't stay long, because she was still keeping up with S.I. They really needed to recruit more upper echelon executives. They'd never quite filled all the organizational holes after ferreting out Stane's most powerful cronies, and now, dealing with the aftermath of Riva's attempt to subvert S.I. engineers and other employees, it was even harder to consider letting in strangers. It probably wouldn't be ethical to ask Professor Xavier to do more employee screening, and really, what good would it do? People seem happy to be hired at S.I. up until a few poisonous words turned them against him.

Maybe he should just accept that some rats were going to creep in. At least now, he could have JARVIS check the data dump for Hydra... oh, yeah, Darren Cross, Scott found him in the Data Dump. Have to turn him and Friday loose when they had a candidate list. But not now, now Tony is recharging his batteries.

Happy did a good job with his additions to the grounds. The air smells of growing things, and the goldfish in the pond are amusing both for him and for TOBY and the pups. Now that the pouch had lost interest for them they were timidly exploring everywhere. They were a bit like cats wanting to know what everything was, nosing and patting it with their front paws, giving it a sniff and a lick sometimes.

Tony was amused to discover they could even pick small objects up. "Hey, what do you have there, Tiger?" Tony said, going over to remove whatever little knickknack she had found before she could see if it was edible.

Then there was a loud THUMP and a white cloud rose. Tony turned, coughing, to look at Bruce, who blinked back at him, dark eyes standing out against his flour covered fur, still standing on his hind legs, and with his paw caught in a ripped open bag of flour.

Tony couldn't help it, he sat down next to Bruce and laughed. "Are you trying to turn yourself into a ghost?" As he brushed the flour out of Bruce's fur he wondered if ghosts were real.

There had been some trick motorcycle rider who was billed as a ghost rider, but nah, let's get real.

Gods are real. Aliens are real. Green Giants are real. Wizards are real.

Hmm... "JARVIS, can you find the 'ghost rider'?"

Chapter Text

"I regret that I have been unable to locate any 'Ghost Rider', sir," JARVIS said a few minutes later. He sounded disapproving. "Is recruiting a possible denizen of the 'hell dimension' conducive to your recuperation?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "You didn't even try, did you?"

"You have caught me out, sir," JARVIS said.

"Fine." Tony got a handful of damp paper towels and wiped off Bruce, before also picking up Tiger. "Ask Housekeeping to clean this mess. I'm taking the kids to look at the fish pond and let them dig holes in the bare spots from Thor's Bifrosting."

"An excellent plan, sir, I congratulate you."

The sling made a handy carrier for Tiger. She settled down to lick at his arm while Bruce wiggled and sneezed flour all over Tony's other arm. Tony waved at 42 on his way past. Whatever 42 was knitting was growing quickly in random color stripes. It kinda added a homey touch to the place.

The goldfish pond was a big hit. The pups were fascinated by the water, but they were wary of the fish. Not surprising, since the smallest one was three times their size.

The fish weren't prize winners, just big solid color fish. A professional koi pond creator- yes, that's a profession, surprised Tony too- set up everything they needed. Pepper brought in a Feng Shui expert to help with the landscaping, and apparently there had to be eight red fish, and one black fish for ... most auspicious, whatever, with the black fish supposed to absorb evil influences so if it dies, it's a sign it's saved you. He didn't like the idea of a fish taking on Tony's bad luck and Blacky always seemed to get bullied away from the food, so whenever Tony visited, he made sure to drop some pellets right in front of him.

Tony meandered around, visiting each of the separate small-- cabins? bungalows? Anyway, places where someone wrestling with their powers, or their past, could get away until they felt like being sociable.

Recuperating was SO BORING. Finally Tony had Friday bring up the HAVEN community, so he could observe it for a change. JARVIS and Happy were in charge, so he didn't plan to do anything, just set up an account, name it something unremarkable...

"Done, Boss!" Friday said cheerfully. "Your account, 'Something Unremarkable' has been added to the database. I've chosen an avatar for you, and set you up with the beginner forums!"

Tony huffed at the avatar. It was a picture of a bowl of oatmeal. "Oatmeal, Friday? Really?"

"It's gluten-free!"

Tony shook his head. "Fine. I'm not going to be on the site very long anyway."

Two hours later the pups were chewing on Tony's shoes to remind him to feed them.

"Wait, just a minute. There's an interesting discussion about Vulcan nerve pinches..."

Chapter Text

"Ok, lunch time!" Tony headed back towards the building, with the pups circling him, excited at the prospect of kangaroo meat mush. Suddenly they both stopped, put their ears back and made a noise he'd never heard before.

"Is that... was that a growl? My little tigers, all grown up and ... not so brave," Tony said as the pups got behind him, grabbing at his trousers with their front paws and whining.

"What?"

"SIR!" JARVIS said from his phone, at the same moment Talos appeared on the lawn, walking straight for Tony. The outer weaponry on the building emerged and tracked the Skrull. "Unauthorized intrusion!"

"Wait, JARVIS," Tony said. He was reasonably sure Talos had too much to lose if he started trouble, but Tony kept his hand hovering over the nano-suit casing on his shirt. Just in case. He wobbled a bit as the pups squirmed and tried to get even closer to him. He just hoped they didn't think of his trousers as pouches and try to squeeze in. It wouldn't work, but they still hadn't learned that NOT EVERYTHING STRETCHES.

"May I touch your Blessings?" Talos asked as he came closer. He looked eager and hopeful.

What the hell? Was sex pollen a thing, and ragweed did it for Skrull? It certainly didn't improve their pickup lines. Tony said, "I'm happily engaged and even if I wasn't, you're really, really, not my type." Tony is not thinking of the childhood crush he had on a pointy eared green blooded alien. Spock was an exception to the rule, all right?

Talos stopped. His expression changed to confusion. "I only wanted to touch them for luck. I didn't know Earth had Blessings. I thought it was odd enough that you have Flerken Mimics without Flerkens."

Tony blinked. "What are you talking about?"

Talos pointed at Tony's feet. The pups were peering suspiciously around his ankles. "They are Blessings. They're good luck to see, especially if they let you touch them. A Flerken looks like the animal you people call 'cats' and keep as pets." Talos shuddered. "Your cats apparently don't have mouth tentacles and pocket dimensions in their guts capable of swallowing people whole. I'm not sure if they have necrotic claws. I didn't care to test it."

"Yeah. I've heard of 'cat scratch fever'... but I'm not sure if it's just a song?" Tony shrugged. He picked up Bruce and petted him to calm him. "This is Bruce. He likes to be scratched behind the ears."

Talos approached cautiously and held out his hand. Bruce sniffed and after a moment relaxed, flicking his ears forward. Talos stroked the pup and grinned.

"I'm going to feed them. You can help," Tony said, "while you tell me how things are going at the U.N." Tony looked at the building. "JARVIS, pull in your teeth, ok?"

"Very well," JARVIS said as the weapons turrets receded. "I will be monitoring continuously until your guest has departed."

Talos was thrilled to mix carnivorous marsupial milk substitute with minced herbivorous marsupial meat and pet the pups while they ate, each from their own dish. Tony had discovered that unlike dogs, they wouldn't quarrel over food and try to push their way in, and he felt sorry for Tiger, who always sat back politely and waited for Bruce to finish. So, to avoid giving in to toxic Tasmanian Tiger masculinity, Tony always made separate meals, but served at the same time. Not that Bruce was a bully, but Pepper would frown whenever she saw Tiger allowing herself to be supplanted.

If he and Pepper got married and had a baby, and it was a girl, Tony was not going to let anyone put Baby in the corner.

"So, how's it going?" Tony asked. He'd learned how to find the most vulnerable moments in negotiations. Should have used it with the Avengers, but he had mistakenly treated them like friends, instead of cutthroat business rivals. Which was pretty stupid now that he thought of it, given his first few experiences with Romanoff and Rogers. And Thor... smashing into the plane and then scraping Iron Man up a rocky mountain? Where was the 'friend' potential there? Tony was still pissed at Talos for kidnapping his brother and sneaking in a double while Tony had NO IDEA that Rhodey needed him, but Tony could set that aside as counterproductive. Talos was useful, and not stupid enough to underestimate Tony's ability to fuck his shit up if betrayed.

Talos petted Tiger's back, tracing each stripe lightly with his fingers. "It's going fairly well. There were a few speciest individuals who balked at giving us 'human rights', but Captain Danvers' presentation on He Who Should Not Be Named silenced them." Talos grinned, showing his fangs. "And then she told them about the Kree. Mr. Okoth-Obbo was very helpful there, and then there was a rousing argument about genocide. It was almost amusing the way some speakers argued about the wording. Was it war? Was it justified? Did the Skrull strike first, and of course, there weren't any Kree to tell their side of the story so was it fair to label them as murderers and the Skrull as victims." Talos laughed bitterly. "We did fight. It was a war at one time. And then it wasn't. It went on so long, and the records were lost, I don't really know whether either side was justified in the beginning. Then we lost, and they kept coming after us, killing us no matter where we ran or how little resistance we could put up... that wasn't war.

"Captain Danvers stood up and then she went into a trance and projected an image of... HIM, and his army, and his generals. There were so many of them, we couldn't see where it was. Just them rolling over the land like a wave, like a lava flow, destroying everything in their path. His generals stood out above the Outriders, with their weapons and...there HE stood taller than anyone else laughing."

"Well, shit," Tony said. "Was that a trick?"

Talos shook his head. "The Captain sometimes has these visions of the future. When she does... if you're there, you feel it. You know it's true. So everyone there believes HE is coming and they need to be ready to fight."

"Good," Tony said. He hoped the US wasn't going to try to get him to make weapons for the Army. He really didn't think it would help to throw unenhanced humans against Thanos' forces no matter how they were armed. Apparently Mr. T had been recruiting and testing and even breeding his own fighters, on a 'survival of the fittest' plan. Carol had mentioned him cyborg-ing one of his most favored 'children', and the image she described made Barnes' metal arm seem barely worth mentioning.

"Can Carol do it again? Maybe see what Mr. T is planning?"

Talos shook his head. "It just happens. The few times I've seen it, it worked out as we saw- but we couldn't see around it."

"Too bad. That would be handy." Past Edith had her limitations, too. Tony was certain she'd tell him more if she could. Either future Edith was destroyed, or unable to communicate with her, or decided it would cause problems with human history. And then there's the Old Lady who said she could see possible futures, but she couldn't even warn most people about them because who would believe her? She did give off loony cult vibes.

Talos nodded. "I wouldn't have bothered with Fury if I could have seen the future."

"Eh, he's a very convincing liar," Tony said. "Would you believe he once told me that he was just an old man who cared very much about me?"

Talos stopped petting Tiger. He blinked and looked at Tony. "And did he then try to sell you a Flerken farm?"

Tony laughed. "Pretty much. Oh, hey, how much do cats look like these scary Flerkens?"

Talos shuddered again. "Externally, I couldn't tell them apart."

"Hmm. And what would Mr. T's army do if they saw a lot of cats?"

Talos smiled. "The smarter ones would run for their lives."

Tony made a note to donate generously to cat protection societies around the world. He would have to resist telling Pepper it was because he loved pussy, though.

Chapter Text

42 came in from the living room carrying his knitting in a bundle. "JARVIS asked me to observe," he said. "I would have come sooner, but I dropped a stitch."

Tony definitely had to reassign 42 from protection details.

Talos looked from 42 and back to Tony, and give him credit, he didn't laugh at the graffiti painted robot holding a multistriped length of knitted material. "Just out of curiosity, if I was going to hurt Mr. Stark, what would you do?"

"This," 42 said, as he threw the knitting at Talos to settle around him in a loop, and then he pulled it tight.

Talos struggled for a moment, and then fell over, landing with one ear in Tiger's bowl of mush. Tiger yipped in surprise, and then began licking the mush from his ear, while Talos squirmed and giggled.

On second thought, maybe 42 could keep his job. No one expects the Robotish Knitquisition. "You all right there, Talos?"

Talos was flushed a bright green from laughter. "This is amazing! It won't break at all! Could he knit garrotes?"

"No," Tony said, "absolutely not. 42, let him go."

Talos stood up after he was unwrapped. "I was only asking," he said sulkily.

"Well, don't." Tony watched 42 carefully arrange his knitting, prepared to throw it again. "That was good, 42, thanks for the demonstration." Tony is glad that TOBY had stayed at the tower to socialize with DUM-E and U, or Talos might be thinking of weaponizing tentacles.

Talos didn't have much more information to share, so after a few last pats, and a selfie with the pups, he left. This time Tony watched and he still couldn't tell how Talos disappeared from one moment to the next. "Did you catch that, JARVIS?"

"Unfortunately not, sir," JARVIS said. "It is MOST annoying. Unannounced visitors in my experience have a tendency to cause considerable mayhem, generally resulting in destruction of property and personal injury."

"Yeah, gotta agree with you there." Looking back, Fury, Obie, Loki, Vanko, Maya... damn, all these people who pop up to bust his chops. Deadpool was actually a refreshing change, maybe Tony's luck had improved. Maybe Talos is onto something and Bruce and Tiger are his lucky mascots?

"Still, what's really annoying is that I can't reverse engineer the Skrull 'invisibility'. Retroreflector tech has its limits, and I can't see it working in space at all. The EDITHs need to be undetectable. I was hoping to reverse engineer the Skrull tech, but I need something to go on."

EDITH said, "You could just ask the Skrull for it."

Tony looked up. He keeps forgetting that EDITH piggybacks on all the Stark A.I. "I could, and probably Talos would agree, but I still get sneaky vibes from him and couldn't trust him not to put a worm in the apple."

"They weren't always so careful," EDITH said.

Tony brightened. "And you gathered all the data you could from the slip ups?"

"Transferring the data now, Sahib. I don't know what you will do, but it worked because no one has ever found any of us."

Tony looked at the data scrolling across the hologram. "How are Vision and Magneto doing?" Since Magneto isn't an indestructible infinity stone powered android they've set the time differential to match the time spent in the past so when Magneto finishes a day's work in Pastralia he can come back to the mining camp to rest in more comfort, and be available to answer any calls from his people. Once he finishes his part, it will go much quicker from Tony's point of view, because Vision's limits are more psychological than physical. And he will always have EDITH for company once the first EDITH satellite is orbiting Earth.

JARVIS said, "They estimate completion of the shuttle in the next two days. Moon-mining for Vibranium has too many unknown factors to set a date."

Tony sighed in satisfaction and cracked his knuckles. "At last, something I can do. I'll be in the workshop fiddling with the data and test models."

42 turned towards him. "Are you going to remove the sling, sir?"

"Er, well, my arm's fine, I don't really... need... it..." Tony sighed. 42 had picked up body language lessons from somewhere. He bent his head and let his hands droop, to better show off the knitting that he worked so hard on. The guilt trip was ridiculous, but ... "Fine. I'll just set the keyboard up for one-handed typing."

42 immediately straightened. "I will take care of Bruce and Tiger. I have noticed a tendency during the immediate postprandial period of...."

Bruce pooped.

"That." 42 said.

"Right, you've got this," Tony said. He's been on poop patrol long enough. "Imma just gonna go do my thing..." Tony headed for the workshop. Yay! Ok, great, with a little practice, maybe 42 could help out with a tiny human. Good to know.

Chapter Text

Tony discovered the Skrull's 'invisibility shield generator'... too long, call it 'No See Um'... had a size limitation. It couldn't be made small enough to incorporate into Iron Man armor, but by using arc reactor power, he could get it small enough to shield an EDITH satellite. Actually, using Pym particles it could be any size, but it just wouldn't WORK below a certain physical size. There's probably a logical scientific explanation, but then he tries not to think too hard about Pym particles because the logic seems to spin off into 'that would be cool, so of course it can do it'. Maybe Pym is a magician. That would actually make Tony feel better because then he could believe Pym's stuff worked by other dimensional physics.

"That is an interesting idea," came a female voice. That wasn't Friday. Or Pepper. Or Dr. Cho.

Not that Tony consciously thought all that, he just knew she didn't belong here. He whirled, hand on his nanosuit container at the same moment JARVIS shouted, "INTRUDER ALERT" and sprouted weapons from the ceiling and walls of the workshop.

Tony paused when he recognized the Ancient One. "What the HELL?!"

She looked around and smiled at the hologram cloud of designs. "Do you always talk to yourself?" she asked.

"Only when I want an intelligent conversation," Tony replied. He kept his hand close to his chest, and JARVIS showed no inclination to withdraw the weapons. 42 appeared in the doorway, scarf looped over both hands. Bruce and Tiger growl yapped at TAO from the safety of 42's ankles. "Not to be rude, but WHAT THE HELL?"

She turned to face Tony. "I could be here in order to thank you for opening my eye to new possibilities."

"Uh, huh, sure you could."

"You are so suspicious, Mr. Stark. Which is not altogether a bad thing." She floated up and crossed her legs beneath her robe. Then she produced a cup full of steaming liquid which smelled like tea. Possibly tea with honey. "However, in this case, it is unwarranted. I have been utilizing the Eye of Agamotto despite my initial concerns that it might cause havoc."

"Specify havoc?"

"Temporal manipulations can create branches in time. Unsuitable dimensional openings. Spatial paradoxes. Time loops," she said calmly between sips of tea. "Misuse of the time stone could result in all times merging into one. Genghis Khan invading Manhattan. The 1916 influenza pandemic returning. Krakatoa exploding again. Or, conversely, time could freeze. And nothing. Nothing, would ever happen again."

"Yeah, that all sounds terrible. Let's not do that." Tony was beginning to feel stupid poised to put on the suit, when he knew TAO could just stick him in a magical mime box.

"I am exercising due caution," she assured Tony. She flicked her hand and the teacup vanished. "In looking forward I did find key situations I chose to prevent as their eventual outcome was negated."

"If it didn't matter, why bother?"

"If you had a choice between healing from a devastating injury, or never being injured, which would you prefer?"

"Point," Tony admitted. Dr. Wu had done a great job in restoring his chest to semi-normal function, helped by a dose of minimalist Extremis, but he could never forget everything that had happened. "Still, our experiences make us what we are."

"Some experiences teach the wrong message. Long ago, I had an experience and took the wrong message from it." She sighed. "The repercussions of that choice are now my burden. I am glad that Dr. Strange escaped the fate I had intended for him, but others were already set on unfortunate paths. I was able to reconcile with Mordo, somewhat. Kaecilius, however..." She shook her head. "I granted him his desire. Unfortunately, eternal life in the Dark Dimension is not as he had expected."

"The Dark Dimension sounds familiar. Doom gets his 'juice' from a dimension full of Dark Matter, doesn't he?"

"No, it's not the same. I have... built up a debt to the Dark Dimension. I had thought I would be the only one to pay the price, but I was wrong."

"Can you... pay it back? I mean, Doom barters with his dimension."

"I don't know. I have tried to confer with Doom, but he is currently busy reorganizing Latveria, and he had never dealt with the Dark Dimension so his suggestions were limited to 'shove random stuff through and if it doesn't get kicked back, it's probably accepted'."

"Well, obviously if Doom can't help you with that, I can't. So why are you here?"

"Mainly to give you advance warning, of possible visitors," TAO said. "It's still uncertain. The probability is that they, or at least one of them, will arrive in New York City and they may, or may not, be useful in the coming battle."

"So, thanks?" Tony said, although he wasn't at all sure she'd told him anything.

"If they appear, we will have very little time to prepare, because they will have escaped Thanos and he will follow them."

"Lots of people arrive in New York City every day. How am I going to recognize them? Are they going to warn me?"

"The vision varies. They may appear at the New York Citadel. If so, I, or Master Drumm, will inform you. You would have no difficulty recognizing them as they are well known to you. Bruce Banner and Thor Odinson will be fleeing Thanos."

"Fleeing? Hulk and Thor? Really?" Tony really didn't like the sound of that. Thor laughed when he fought, and Hulk got stronger when he was angry. What could reduce them to running away?

"Yes." She drifted to stand on the floor, and created a portal. Tony could see into it to what looked like a temple courtyard where people in robes were carrying on martial arts practice. Weird martial arts practice. "Goodbye, Mr. Stark." She walked through the portal and it vanished.

Tony looked at 42. Then he took off the sling. "JARVIS, tell Vision I'm coming. We have to get this show on the road."

Chapter Text

"Take care of Bruce and Tiger for me, 42," Tony said as he activated the nano-suit. The old lady's warning was really just giving him an excuse. Now that he had the anti-detector for EDITH there was no reason to delay.

42 nodded and swept the pups up in a length of knitting when it looked as if they were going for Iron Man's feet.

Iron Man blasted off and set course for Australia. "Can I get to the mine before Magneto leaves for the day, JARVIS?"

"It is possible, sir. May I ask how you will explain your absence to Ms. Potts?"

Tony grinned to himself. "That's a good question. I'll think of something... just tell Pep that I'm fine. Had a breakthrough in the lab and I need to give it to Vision." Tony did a loop. "Also it's a really nice day for flying."

JARVIS sighed.

Tony landed behind the time-van. Magneto was sitting at a small table drinking a beer. "You wanted to speak with me?" he asked.

"Yeah," Tony said as his helmet retracted. "Thanks for the specs for the mind-proofing, Max." He tapped the helmet. "I went with lining the suit instead of my skull."

"How conservative of you, Tony," Magneto said with emphasis on the 'Tony'.

"Fine, fine, we're not on a first name basis, I get that." Tony finished retracting the armor. "I'm just a little on edge, because I just got an early warning. No time frame, but it looks like Banner and Thor-- or one of them, the palm reader's more cryptic than I like, is going to show up in New York City, with the big bad hot on their trail."

Magneto's eyes went cold. He put his beer down. "Is the offer to allow mutants to train at your facility still good?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, that was part of what I wanted to discuss with you. If this attack is centered on the city, Haven Harbor's got helicopters, but you might want to look into faster means of transport. If available."

"Teleportation? It's rare. Charles' little blue boy is one of the few who can move more than his own body weight- and he can't go terribly far."

"You keep an eye on Xavier's kids?" Tony asked.

Magneto shrugged. "They are mutants. They might be made to see how foolish it is to depend on good will for their safety."

"Also, they're Charles' kids," Tony said, unable to resist a little gentle teasing.

Magneto huffed. "If that's all, I will be going. It will take some time to sort out those who would be willing to use Iron Man's training camp." He stood up and started towards the Starkcopter kept for his convenience to take him to the airport where a suborbital jet awaited. Tony didn't want to annoy Magneto into coopting someone else's property.

"Mention the jacuzzi, and the 24 hour buffet," Tony suggested.

Magneto made a dismissive gesture and kept walking.

Tony turned to look at the time-van. Vision hadn't emerged. "JARVIS, did Vision get the message?"

"It is difficult to say, sir. I forwarded it to EDITH but if Vision stayed in Pastralia instead of escorting Mr. Eisenhardt to the present, she would have been unable to contact him before her creation."

"Duh, yeah, of course." Tony fidgeted. "Should I wait for him? I should be calling Happy to get him on HAVEN to open up the training centers around the world."

"Sir, I believe the sentinels are trying to get your attention," JARVIS said.

"What? Oh, yeah, what's up, guys?" Tony turned back and the mining robots were gathered in a semi-circle. The one in the lead had a small box. "Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. You found some more opals?" He wasn't expecting much, just more small pieces of milky white opal with a bit of shine.

"I do not know if these are any good, sir," the sentinel said apologetically. "We were hoping to find black opal."

"That's fine. I'm sure Pepper will..."

The sentinel opened the box. Nestled on damp cloth, several chunks of red stones caught fire from the setting sun.

"...love them," Tony said. He picked up the largest stone, a thumb sized chunk of deep, clear red and held it up so the light shone through it. "Um. JARVIS, this is opal, isn't it?"

"Indeed. That is red opal," JARVIS assured Tony.

"So... good enough for Pepper's ring?" Tony thought it was beautiful, but then, he liked red.

"Sir, the color, clarity, and luster make that stone a 'triple A', potentially worth $7,500 a gram," JARVIS said.

"Oh, yeah." Tony grinned so hard his jaw ached. "Tell Pepper to order the cake."

Chapter Text

"Tony, what are you talking about? What cake?" Pepper started talking via JARVIS, the moment Tony took off from the mine, with the red opals padded and safely tucked into a storage 'pocket' in the Iron Man.

Possibly Tony had made a mistake by blurting that out. "Cake. Um... maybe I just felt like having cake?"

"What is going on? Are you coming to the Tower?"

"I will later, but I left Bruce and Tiger with 42 at Haven Harbor and none of them are all that good with strangers so I have to stop and pick them up first, and tell the staff what to expect. Although I'm not entirely sure what to expect. But it'll be fine, I'm sure."

"Tony." That was the 'you're not amusing me, not in the slightest, Tony' voice.

"All right, fine. The ancient one popped in to say we should expect visitors in New York City."

"Not again! Why do movie monsters go after Tokyo, while the real ones come to my home?" Pepper protested.

"I don't think Thor would appreciate being called a monster, and Banner takes it too much to heart."

"Oh, well, that's not a problem. Give Thor enough mead, and Banner his special brownies and they'll be fine."

"Yeah, but they may... probably... almost certainly will be leading The Terrible one to Earth. But it's fine! It'll be ok! I mean, she didn't say WHEN, but wasn't all that worried, so there's time. I solved the last problem for the EDITH satellites, and I've opened the training centers to the HAVEN people. Max's bunch are invited to Haven Harbor, which will be good, because they'll be close to the city."

He could hear Pepper's breathing speeding up.

"Pep? Pepper, I swear we'll be ready."

"Have you told Happy and Rhodey?"

"Not yet. They're next, and then JARVIS will alert everyone. Well, everyone I can. Fury might know how to contact Sword, and I'll just bet he's got his little eye on Rogers and Maximoff, so I can pass off a general heads' up to him. I don't know if he'll believe me, but then, I don't really care. He's not the big gun any more."

"Why do you sound so happy about this?" Pepper asked. "It's a nightmare. You almost died last time," she added softly.

"That... that was entirely different. I had a few hours, and SHIELD's half-assed Cliff Notes. This time it's not just grabbing half a dozen people off the street and expecting miracles because a bad-ass in black leather gave us Stern Daddy Motivation." Tony paused...

"But mainly I'm happy because I got the opals. Pepper, they're beautiful. If I was superstitious, which you know I'm not, but if I was... I'd take it as a sign. They're red and they'll look great on you."

Pepper was silent for a long moment. Then she said, "Tony? Really? You want to get married with an alien invasion around the corner? I thought we were going to wait until it was over?"

"Well... we COULD do that, if you want. But at least, I want you to see the opals and find a jeweler to make them up for you. I promised I'd give the mine to Australia once we had the wedding set, and it would be nice to bring the Sentinels home, they're picking up an Aussie accent."

"Come home. And... I'll think about it."

"Can we do the cake testing? I like the idea of that?"

"Tony. You need to book the tastings at LEAST three months in advance, some caterers need a year!"

"Um...donuts are nice, too."

"And we haven't got a venue!" Pepper was getting shrill.

"No, no, don't worry. Look, how about we rent out Sheep's Meadow in Central Park, combine the wedding and the reception, and have all the local bakers bring their best cakes? No strawberry! I figure we'll be inviting everyone we met since the Ultron fiasco, and all the bridesmaids will want to bring their friends and..."

"That would be a circus," Pepper said. "The media wouldn't know where to turn."

"Uh huh! OH! And 42 has learned how to knit! He can make your wedding gown!"

"Sure, why not," Pepper said agreeably. "I'm just going to go fix myself a pitcher of martinis while you do all the planning. It will be ALL on you."

"Well... I DO have the bridesmaids list... can you get the groomsmen?"

"Sure, Tony," Pepper said in her best 'I'm humoring you' voice. Then she said, "Wait? Are you SERIOUS!"

Chapter Text

By the time Tony landed at Haven Harbor, 42 had gathered a selection of 'whites' in spider silk for Pepper to choose her wedding gown from. They all looked the same to him, but whatever. The pups climbed all over Tony's feet once he was out of Iron Man, maybe under the impression that would keep him from leaving them behind.

"Hey, you know what?" Tony said, looking down at the pups. "You could be ring bearers! Tiger for Pepper and Bruce for me." Given half a chance they'd follow him anywhere, so up an aisle should be no problem. Scratch looking for kids... although, really, he should invite the Keeners. In the mad rush to prepare for disaster Tony hasn't thought to keep in contact with them.

"JAY, add the Keeners to the invitation list."

"Sir," JARVIS said in a long-suffering tone, "is there anyone you do NOT want to attend?"

"Is Justin Hammer out of prison? Doesn't matter. No invitation for him. Let me know when Vision is in tune with my time, so I can give him the specs for 'no see um' and get him up to date with current events." Tony got the pups off his shoes and found the head of the maintenance staff to explain about Magneto's bunch arriving and how they were to be treated as honored guests, at ALL times. No snide back room gossip. JARVIS will be monitoring. Tony didn't mention it, but it's possible some of Magneto's people would have enhanced hearing.

"They're going to be training to protect the world," he told her. "Some of them may die to save us. Honor them for their service as you would a soldier."

Tony took the quin-jet back to the Tower, 42 was kept busy keeping the pups out his yarn stash, while Tony gave JARVIS more instructions about preparing for Thanos and the wedding. There was occasional confusion involved, but the notifications were all sent out by the time they arrived.

Pepper was waiting by the rooftop landing pad, so Tony told JARVIS to hold the rest of his calls. The responses were ... well... a little more than he'd thought about, but ok, it was reasonable that people wanted to know WHEN and WHERE, and was there a dress code? Tony maybe should have thought this out a bit more.

"Hey, Pep. Second thoughts?" Tony asked.

"Oh, no," Pepper replied. "I know it's going to be a disaster, but after reading about other people's wedding disasters, I'm sure ours will be fine." She's holding a martini glass, and Tony suspects she's on her third refill.

"That's the spirit." Tony took out the package of opals, and unfolded the cloth to show her. "Worth waiting for?"

Pepper looked at the opals, and smiled, then she looked up at Tony. "Yes."

"Great." Tony looked at Pepper. "You're laughing at me. I know you are. I can tell."

"Tony, remember the engagement ring you gave me?"

"Uh, yeah, of course I do. You're wearing it now."

Pepper held up her hand. "It's a very nice ring, with a lovely diamond. Tony, wedding rings are usually bands without gems."

Tony groaned. "So, everyone thought I was an idiot to buy an opal mine just to make your wedding ring?"

"If they did, they're the idiots, these will be gorgeous." Pepper took the largest opal and held it up to her hair. "It's my color."

"Yes. It looks good on you," Tony said. "So, you'll find a jeweler and..."

"Oh, I thought I was only going to be allowed to find groomsmen?" Pepper said, all wide-eyed and innocent. "Is that twelve percent of the responsibility?" She turned and walked back into the living room of the penthouse.

"God, are you never going to forget that?"

"Never," Pepper said gleefully.

Pepper relented after a while, and agreed to work with Tony, JARVIS, and Friday, to make plans even though the only thing they could actually start was getting the jewelry made. Then they talked about Thanos and contingency plans.

"Really?" Pepper asked. "After all the warnings, you're considering using time travel to change the past?"

"I hope it won't come to that, but if we lose... really lose... everyone loses. This guy has been mass murdering people across the galaxy. And that was without the power the infinity stones could give him. If he gets all the stones, then he can do anything. He wouldn't even be limited to killing people. I'm going to try to cover all the bases.

"The Ancient One has the Time-Stone. I bet she could use it, just even go back a few minutes if we screw up, and then NOT screw up. And if she refuses to help, due to mystical whatever, Pym's figured out 'time suits' that bypass the quantum realm. Thanks to Janet he can automate them so it's not 'jump and guess' but that still requires the quantum tunnel. Even if Dr. Strange doesn't figure out time magic, he does know how to make portals, so he could go to the quantum van, one of them, with whoever needs to change the past, and then portal them back to Thanos to get it right."

"Am I wrong, or is that an overly complicated, easily messed up, plan?"

"You're not wrong." Tony sighed and leaned to press his head against Pepper's shoulder. "It's all...I'm trying to juggle grenades, and hope that I don't drop any."

Pepper patted him on the head. "If you do, we have a lot of people who will catch them and throw them back."

Tony winced. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up."

"I know you didn't." Pepper put her arms around Tony. "It'll be all right. You're not alone."

Chapter Text

Everything seemed to suddenly speed up. JARVIS found a jeweler who specialized in opals and was willing to prioritize making a full set of earrings, necklace, bracelet, and a pair of wedding rings, over all his other projects. The Mayor of New York agreed to perform the ceremony, provided he wasn't somewhere else at the time. Pepper had JARVIS keep a constantly updated list of available hotel rooms, and Tony smoozled the park department into agreeing to allow the wedding to take place in Sheep Meadow provided it was only open to the wedding party and any damage to the grounds would be corrected before the normal spring opening.

Vision took the design for 'no see um' and with Tony and Magneto helping, got the shuttle completed. Tony didn't go with them to the moon, he wanted to, but he wouldn't have been any use, and it was an indulgence he couldn't afford. Magneto returned two days later and moved into Haven Harbor to guide his people. Vision showed up every day only to get supplies for EDITHs that he couldn't manufacture in Pastralia- his factory could automate much of it, including the missiles and the arc reactor but some delicate 'bits' required Tony and JARVIS working together. Vision also liked to check on the news reports of Tasmanian Tigers found in Tasmania.

Tony was busy on his own, he had to get in practise flying in formation with Pepper in Rescue, and Rhodey in War Machine (finally released from guarding the Pentagon). That was serious, not fun at all. Happy had agreed to a suit, but he didn't want to fly it even if the suit's A.I. did all the work. So Tony made him a ground fighter, named Slugger. Without the flight adaptations Tony had other options for the arc reactor, and had mainly gone with pure power, guided by muscle and verbal commands. Slugger wasn't as powerful as Veronica but it was also a lot more mobile, basically a two-legged tank. Happy dead-pan said it was 'ok'.

The Stark facilities around the world were filling up with HAVEN people, and Tony reluctantly released the weapons' caches. None of them were fully active until JARVIS, or Vision, or Friday, or Tony, sent out the signal, but the dummy functions were enough to learn how to use them, how to aim (which was mildly amusing when one of the more felinoid HAVEN chased the laser targeting light), how fast they could repeat fire, how to best hold them to reduce muscle strain, and everything except how it felt to be risking your life while killing aliens. That part would be learn on the job.

The New York city subset of BASH didn't need any new weapons, but they did use the grounds of the old Stark mansion. Tony had once thought it might make a good intermediate training ground for the Avengers, before he realized their destructive potential and opted for repurposing his father's old 'Bad Boy' storage facility. And then of course, he realized he didn't even want them that closely linked to him.

Getting people together wasn't as difficult as he expected. He wasn't asking them to be a team, just to be aware of each others' strengths and weaknesses. Deadpool was insane, Daredevil was reckless, Dr. Strange was arrogant, Danny Rand was gullible... and that was only the Ds.

But the one thing they all had in common was the most important. They believed Tony about Thanos. Deadpool even said his yellow box told him about the big purple alien, but he'd dismissed it as a bad chimichanga, until there were actual little green aliens and you know big/little purple/green, sounds like they go together, right? Like chili ice cream. Tony sometimes wondered if Deadpool was born that way, or if Fate really hated a smart mouth... come to think of it, that could be applied to him, only without the pizza face, and the talking to himself.

"Boss," Friday said. "You are talking to yourself right now."

"Huh," Tony said. "Really?"

"Yes, Boss," Friday said. She giggled. "Deadpool says he does not look like pizza. He looks like a cross between a Shar-pei and Ryan Reynolds."

"Who the hell is Ryan Reynolds?"

Chapter Text

Vision returned from Australia with the Sentinels a week later. "It is good to be back, father," Vision said. He looked the same, but something in his eyes was older, not in a tired way, but settled.

"It's good to have you back, Vision," Tony said. "Was it hard?" he asked, feeling a little guilty. Sure Vision had volunteered, and he had EDITH for company after the first one was set in orbit around Earth. But still... he had been isolated for a very long time.

Vision tilted his head. "It was... illuminating. I learned to delve into my own resources, to choose to do, to be, without external influence. EDITH was always there, of course. I have been a creature of science, but I learned to embrace my artistic side."

Tony nodded. "The Face on Mars?"

"And other sculptures. And I learned to sing. Manipulation of my vocal cords is, after all, a subset of control over my body's form." Vision opened his mouth.

And Tony's jaw dropped as Vision went on to sing first in a male register, then a female... and then combined both.

"Ok," Tony said when Vision finished. "Want to sing at the wedding?"

Vision smiled. "I would be honored."

42 finished the wedding dress and presented it to Pepper. "It's gorgeous." Pepper stroked the intricate lacy panels. "Would you like to be in the ceremony and hold the train off the ground until we get to the aisle?" The aisle was to be a short length of flexible panels laid down over the grass leading to the temporary altar, but getting from the park entrance to the ceremony was unavoidably going to be a walk through the park- which isn't a 'walk through the park' when dragging a long white silk train.

42 said shyly, "Isn't that the duty of the maid of honor?"

"I can't choose," Pepper said, "so I won't have one. Just friends who come to support us and stand by our side."

42 wasn't built for smiling, but he tried with body language.

Tony heard about that later, of course. Pepper had insisted on at least one tradition, that Tony wasn't to see the dress, much less her wearing it, until the ceremony. Tony wasn't really big on gender issues and certainly liking art and baby sitting and knitting didn't make one female. Still, might be good to have Vision talk with 42 in case 42 had a gender preference that wasn't male, as Tony had assumed.

The jeweler delivered the finished set for approval, and Pepper cried a little. Tony got the sniffles when 42 put the rings on the white silk collars he'd made for the pups who were now big enough and calm enough to walk on heel instead of trying to sit on Tony's shoes.

Most of the people they'd contacted had at least responded. Some wouldn't come, but enough wanted to attend so Tony had booked every available hotel room in Manhattan, and rented a fleet of limos. Pepper's dress code had been, "Wear whatever makes you happy."

Come the big day, and everything was perfect. Close enough, anyway. The Mayor of New York City beamed as he looked out over the crowd as the guests filed in and took seats in the lawn between the flower bedecked ropes. A few selected reporters and photographers were allowed in and he was making the most of it, posing with anyone who looked heroic and didn't mind the publicity.

The bridesmaids Tony had selected all showed up, along with their groomsmen. Someone had been organizing them into coordination- probably Friday since Pepper had said that given the short notice she wasn't expecting anyone to go to any trouble. The wedding party was gathered near the altar chatting as they waited for Tony and Pepper to arrive.

Jessica Jones was in a white jumpsuit with a turquoise blue belt, and gloves. Luke Cage escorted her as groomsman, wearing trousers of the same shade of blue, with a white shirt.

Sue Storm wore a navy blue jumpsuit with black belt and gloves, while her escort, Reed Richards, had trousers and shirt of navy blue, with the sleeves and upper part of the shirt in black. He looked a little bemused, like he wasn't quite sure why he had ridden in a limo in order to go to Sheep Meadow in Central Park.

Janet Van Dyne wore a yellow and black dress, horizontally striped as bold as a wasp. Hank Pym was with her looking slightly less grouchy than usual, in a black suit with a yellow vest.

Jean Grey was wearing an emerald green jumpsuit with yellow gloves. Scott Summers was with her and looked uncomfortable in a green suit, and a bright yellow necktie.

Ororo Munroe was in a jumpsuit of a blue so dark it looked black and had added a cape edged in yellow to match the accents on her jumpsuit. Happy was her escort, looking solemn and dignified in an equally dark blue suit. He had his Slugger nano suit in the shape of belt buckle.

Helen Cho wore a white cheongsam dress over a pale blue bodysuit. She was escorted by Rhodey who wore his dress blues, and they all pretended the War Machine armor wasn't following him at a discreet distance, piloted by JARVIS.

Mystique showed up in her natural form, dressed in a white bodysuit with white gloves, on the arm of her wife Destiny whose blue bodysuit matched Mystique's skin. Destiny looked serious, and whispered to Mystique who shrugged.

"It's too late to turn back, now," Mystique said. She patted Destiny's hand.

Happy said, "Is she ok? Ok, I know it's rude asking you instead of her, but you know she's blind so how's she to know I'm talking to her..." Ororo gave Happy an unimpressed look.

Mystique rolled her eyes. "Destiny is fine. She just doesn't like violence."

"Violence?" Scott Summers asked. "This is wedding, not a battle."

Janet laughed. "You haven't been to too many weddings, have you, Scott? There's always something to go wrong, or someone to start trouble just because they're excited. Or drunk."

Happy said, "They better not. I won't get my deposit back if this suit gets wrecked."