Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

*MCI chat created*

12:03 pm

Fritz: guys message me so i can make sure it went throw

Jeremy: *through

Fritz: shut up

Gabriel: why do we even need a chat group? we can just talk to each other without the watches

Susie: this is kinda exciting, hehe. we've never done anything like this before

Cassidy: pls refrain from using the hehes susie. you aren't mj

Susie: ...mj?

Gabriel: Michael Jackson. and leave Susie alone, Cassidy

Evan: why am i on here? i'm not even from the mci

Fritz: i must have accidentally added you. want me to kick you out?

Gregory: pls do. evan's pretty sus

Fritz: how'd you get on here? i don't even have you as a contact

Gregory: pro hacker, remember? i've added myself to everybody's chats lol. anybody wanna hear some gossip?

Gabriel: whatever the others are discussing isn't any of our business. please keep it to yourself.

Fritz: depends on who it is.

Evan: *face palms*

Jeremy: ...you know, you could just use an emoji, right?

Evan: what's that?

Gregory: lol old people

Gabriel: what does 'lol' mean?

Gregory: case in point

Jeremy: ...lot's of love?

Gregory: definitely not lol

Evan: it means laughing out loud

Jeremy: so you know what that means but you don't know about emojis?

Evan: yeah?

Gregory: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 🥲 🥹 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 🧐 🤓 😎 🥸 🤩 🥳 😏 😒 😞 😔 😟 😕 🙁 ☹️ 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😮💨 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯

Cassidy: wtf

Gabriel: please do not spam, gregory

Gregory: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 🥲 🥹 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 🧐 🤓 😎 🥸 🤩 🥳 😏 😒 😞 😔 😟 😕 🙁 ☹️ 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😮💨 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯

Gregory: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 🥲 🥹 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 🧐 🤓 😎 🥸 🤩 🥳 😏 😒 😞 😔 😟 😕 🙁 ☹️ 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😮💨 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯

Evan: fritz, kick him out.

Jeremy: just for the record, evan, those are emojis

Evan: i figured

Gregory: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 🥲 🥹 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 🧐 🤓 😎 🥸 🤩 🥳 😏 😒 😞 😔 😟 😕 🙁 ☹️ 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😮💨 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯

Fritz: gimme a sec

Gregory: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 🥲 🥹 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 🧐 🤓 😎 🥸 🤩 🥳 😏 😒 😞 😔 😟 😕 🙁 ☹️ 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😮💨 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯

Gregory: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 🥲 🥹 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 🧐 🤓 😎 🥸 🤩 🥳 😏 😒 😞 😔 😟 😕 🙁 ☹️ 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😮💨 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯

Gregory: you guys are no fun

Evan: i don't know how this proves it, but you are definitely michael's son.

Gregory: 😁

Fritz: alright, i think i got it

Gregory: 😢

*Gregory was kicked from the chat*

Cassidy: weirdo

Jeremy: thank god

Gabriel: kids these days are strange

Susie: we were probably just as weird. in early 80s standards, of course

Fritz: we were 4-8 yrs old. i'm pretty sure adults expected that stuff from us

Evan: besides, gregory is twelve. he's got quite a few years on us, granted you ignore the extra fifty years

Fritz: oh yeah, do you still want me to remove you evan?

Evan: i suppose that's up to you lot

Cassidy: i've spent fifty years listening to this asshole british kid complain about his family. you all have to suffer with me now.

Evan: fuck you too, love

Jeremy: that's a very conflicting statement

Fritz: EVAN, DO NOT CURSE ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER

Gabriel: what is minecraft?

Fritz: i dunno, i just heard a lot of people say that on the internet and thought it was funny

Susie: i'm sure it wasn't that bad, cassidy. evan's really sweet!

Cassidy: ask him about his brother, then. we'll be here for hours.

Jeremy: why? i thought they got along?

Cassidy: evan's feelings toward his brother are extremely fucking complicated. the two are alright for the most part, but evan isn't sure if he's scared of Michael, hates him, just generally dislikes him, or is just glad to have his brother back.

Evan: ...i thought you were asleep whenever i talked about my brother

Cassidy: believe it or not, i actually did listen to your rants. it was pretty obvious you needed someone to just listen, which is why i didn't say anything for the most part.

Susie: aw

Gabriel: Cassidy's always preferred to listen rather than talk anyway. when were at freddy's, she would usually stick to my side and follow me around everywhere, never really talking to anyone. ironically, it was after she met Evan that she seems to have started talking more

Cassidy: this ain't about me, gabriel. this is about evan never shutting up

Evan: on one hand, i'm touched to hear that you bothered to listen to me. but on the other hand, i feel slightly attacked

Cassidy: look, dude, i'm saying i want you to stay on the chat. what else do you want from me?

Fritz: your hand in marriage?

Cassidy: wtf, fritz

Fritz: i'm not the only one who thinks cassidy and evan act like an old married couple, right?

Cassidy: i thought you were asking me to marry you

Fritz: fuck no

Evan: what was that about cursing on here?

Fritz: i'm the admin, i can do whatever

Gabriel: you are abusing your power, Fritz.

Fritz: shut up

Jeremy: this is why you should have had me as the admin

Fritz: you and your fucking mets hat can go elsewhere

Evan: ...what?

Susie: jeremy always wears a mets cap, remember?

Evan: wtf is the mets?

Jeremy: a baseball team my dad liked. and you can go fuck yourself, fritz

Gabriel: whoa, ok, maybe we should all take a break from the chat for a while

Cassidy: are you kidding me? things are just starting to get interesting

Fritz: uno reverse, jeremy

Jeremy: do you realize how fucking immature you sound?!

Fritz: do you realize I can kick you off here if I wanted?

Jeremy: do it then! fucking do it!

Fritz: stop saying fuck

Jeremy: FUCK

Fritz: you asked for it mf

*Jeremy was kicked from the chat*

Cassidy: oh lawd

Gabriel: Fritz! Add Jeremy back right now! He's our friend!

Fritz: he's your friend. jeremy and i just got invited to the same birthday party. we all got screwed over, sure, but we ain't friends

Susie: boys

Cassidy: seriously

Gregory: oooooooo spicy

Evan: gregory!

Gregory: i know, i know, you guys missed me

Evan: gregory i swear to

Gregory: swear to what?

*Evan was kicked from the chat*

Fritz: whoops, i meant to kick gregory. you guys' names are right next to each other

Cassidy: isn't it in alphabetical order? your name should be between them

Fritz: i don't see my name

Susie: his is probably at the top of the list since its his profile

Fritz: man this fazwatch thingy is confusing

Gregory: you'll get the hang of it

Gabriel: Fritz, at the very least go talk to Jeremy.

Fritz: fuck off, gabriel.

*Gregory was kicked from the chat*

*Evan was added to the chat*

Evan: oh hello again

Cassidy: welcome back. fritz is still pissed off for some reason

Fritz: i'm not pissed off

Cassidy: then why are you aggressively bouncing your leg?

Fritz: cause i have app

Evan: you have... app?

Fritz: yeah

Susie: i think he means adhd

Evan: how'd you mix that up?

Fritz: i dunno?

Gabriel: Fritz.

Fritz: gabriel.

Gabriel: Fritz Campbell, stop being stubborn.

Fritz: gabriel foster, kindly leave me the fuck alone

Cassidy: what, are we playing the name game now?

Susie: susanna may sutherland

Evan: ...that's your full name?

Susie: yup! you can probably guess why everyone just calls me susie

Cassidy: ok then, guess we are. cassidious fosterious

Evan: evan garrett not-afton.

Cassidy: your middle name is garrett?

Evan: yup.

Gabriel: we are not playing the name game. Fritz is just being stubborn

Fritz: sure we were. fritz scott campbell.

Gregory: gregory leslie afton lol

Evan: GREGORY

Cassidy: dear god. michael gave you leslie as your middle name?!

Gregory: actually my uncle did. fuck you evan.

Evan: no, that was one-hundred percent michael. if it were up to me, your middle name would've been aiden or something.

Gregory: that's boring af

Gabriel: i give up.

*Jeremy was added to the chat*

Fritz: there. god.

Gabriel: is that all i have to do to get you to listen to me?

Fritz: nah, i just felt like adding him again.

Jeremy: fuck you

Fritz: NO CUSSING, ASSHOLE

Evan: but you just... oh whatever.

Susie: guys! chica's making pizza!

Cassidy: so? it's not like we can eat it

Gregory: yeah but i can, see ya suckers

Evan: quick, get rid of him before he comes back

*Gregory was kicked from the chat*

Gabriel: he's probably just going to add himself again.

Fritz: then i'll kick him again. i've got the rest of eternity to fuck with the kid

Jeremy: hopefully we're not stuck here for that long.

Susie: guys, at the very least you could come help chica

Evan: i'll come help ;)

Cassidy: evan, what the actual fuck does that winky face mean

Evan: I MEANT TO PUT THIS :)

Fritz: sure you did ;)

Evan: FUCK OFF

Fritz: WHAT. DID. I. TELL. YOU.

Gabriel: is the only curse word you all know 'fuck'?

Cassidy: pretty much

Fritz: GABRIEL. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAVE FALLEN TO OUR LEVEL.

Jeremy: fritz, shut up.

Freddy Fazbear: Children, come to the kitchen before Susie murders us all a second time.

Fritz: tf- freddy fazbear?!

Gabriel: Glamrock Freddy, Fritz. Otherwise known as Michael. i'm pretty sure he has clearance to connect to any of the chats on the faz-system.

Jeremy: don't you meant the faz-net?

Cassidy: or would it be the faz-chats?

Fritz: I GET THE FAZ-POINT, JEEZ

Freddy Fazbear: Children, please.

Susie: freddy's laughing. y'all are doofuses

Evan: don't you mean he's faz-laughing?

Fritz: too much.

Jeremy: yeah, sorry evan, that doesn't work.

Gregory: cringe

Evan: ...goddammit, greg

Gregory: lol

Freddy Fazbear: If it is any consolation, Evan, I've never been more proud of you.

Evan: ...not really, but thanks anyway, mike.

Susie: aww

Cassidy: peace out, mfs

Fritz: heck yeah

Jeremy: wait- what?

Gabriel: let's just head to the kitchen, jeremy.

Jeremy: ...sure.

12:37 pm

Gregory: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 🥲 🥹 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 🧐 🤓 😎 🥸 🤩 🥳 😏 😒 😞 😔 😟 😕 🙁 ☹️ 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😮💨 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯

Evan: GREGORY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP

Gregory: lmao

Chapter Text

*cultofjeremys chat opened*

12:58 pm

Jeremy 3: Hello, Jeremy.

Jeremy 1: why, hello, jeremy!

Jeremy 3: How's your day been, Jeremy?

Jeremy 1: just fine and dandy, jeremy, just fine and dandy.

Jeremy 2: what the heck? who are you people?

Jeremy 3: Jeremy!

Jeremy 1: also jeremy. are you a new jeremy, jeremy?

Jeremy 2: no??? i'm from the 80s. what about you two?

Jeremy 3: Can't say I am. Last I checked, it was 2026. I didn't know I was talking to someone almost fifty years my senior, heh

Jeremy 1: i'm from the 80s, too. wait... you aren't that jeremy, are you?

Jeremy 2: what jeremy???

Jeremy 3: yes, what are you referring to, Jeremy?

Jeremy 1: the one who was killed in '85.

Jeremy 2: that's exactly who i am! now, who the heck are you two??!!

Jeremy 3: What are you insinuating, Jeremy? That he was one of the children murdered?

Jeremy 2: there's no insinuation about it! that's me! and stop referring to each other as jeremy! it's disorienting!

Jeremy 1: woof, them's some big words there, kiddo

Jeremy 2: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU

Jeremy 1: calm down, kid. i was a night guard at freddy's back in the day. do you remember what was happening two years after y'all died?

Jeremy 2: er... that was when the toy location was established and then closed down, wasn't it?

Jeremy 1: exactly! it was partly my fault it got shut down on account of my involvement in... well, you probably don't remember. you and the other kids were in the storage room during that.

Jeremy 2: during what? were you a copycat killer or something? fritz mentioned there were other murdered kids at that location that he found the bodies of

Jeremy 1: what-? no! of course not! no, i was the dumbass that got his frontal lobe surgically removed in the bite of '87. the killings were already long over by the time i started working at that location

Jeremy 3: A night guard who lost his frontal lobe in 1987... A kid who was murdered in 1985... The two of you are Jeremy Fitzgerald and Jeremy Hall, aren't you?

Jeremy 2: ...and just how do you know that...?

Jeremy 3: Anyone associated with the Fazbear brand in the '80s and '90s are the stuff of local legend these days. Plus, I could have sworn your names were mentioned in the VR game I was testing a while ago...

Jeremy 1: either way, now that we got all that cleared up, what are you still doing around, Hall? i thought mike mentioned y'all moved on after the fire at fazbear's fright 20ish years ago?

Jeremy 3: The spirits were at Fazbear's Fright?!

Jeremy 1: that's what michael claimed, anyway.

Jeremy 2: it's, er... complicated. believe me. wait...

Jeremy 1: yeah, kiddo?

Jeremy 2: how'd you know we were at the toy location? or that we were supposed to 'move on' at Fazbear's Fright?

Jeremy 1: i thought i just said it? michael told me. while i may not have helped out too much in the old days, i was still the one mike confided in for the most part regarding y'all's continued stay on our ugly earth.

Jeremy 2: oh. right. did michael ever tell anyone else about us...? like, maybe our parents...? also, if he---or you, apparently---knew where our bodies were, why didn't either of you report it to the police?!

Jeremy 1: i don't know about michael, but i sure as hell didn't and don't know where your bodies were. i take it they were still in the restaurants?

Jeremy 3: They were inside the animatronics.

Jeremy 2: how do you know that?

Jeremy 3: ...That's a long story.

Jeremy 2: ...either way, yeah, they were. i was stuck inside of Bonnie.

Jeremy 1: oh lovely. the faceless one, i assume.

Jeremy 2: ...yes. thank you for reminding me of that, by the way.

Jeremy 1: well, my face wound up getting pretty messed up, too, ya know

Jeremy 3: ...huh. So, did mine.

Jeremy 1: it did? what happened?

Jeremy 3: I sliced it off.

Jeremy 1: ...

Jeremy 2: ...

Jeremy 3: ...I suppose my name was a sort of foreshadowing.

Jeremy 2: please, don't say that. it's already messed up enough that there's so many jeremys involved with freddy's in the first place.

Jeremy 1: if it helps any, my name is technically jeremiah.

Jeremy 2: not really

Gregory: jesus christ, there's three jeremys

Jeremy 2: gregory, don't even start. i will summon evan.

Gregory: i ain't scared of him

Jeremy 1: evan? as in... '83?

Jeremy 2: yeah...? how do you know about him?

Jeremy 1: you could say i may or may not have had a hand in his death...

Jeremy 3: You mean William Afton's son?!!

Jeremy 2: DO NOT SAY THAT MAN'S NAME. YOU MIGHT SUMMON HIM OR SOMETHING!!!

Gregory: hehe, peepaw willy go brrrr

Jeremy 2: GREGORY!!!

Gregory: i dunno what you guys are so worried about. he's gone now lmao

Jeremy 1: that's what we're all prayin' for anyway

Jeremy 3: Then how do you explain Malhare?!!

Gregory: malhare? you mean the floating blue rabbit thingy? according to Vanessa, that's got nothing to do with the old pile of ash

Jeremy 2: who, bonnie? also, who's vanessa?

Gregory: nope, two completely different things that just so happen to be rabbit-shaped

Jeremy 3: No! I am referring to the golden rabbit virus inside the... uh... Well, none of you would know about that, would you? Seeing as it was in a VR game I doubt Fazbear Entertainment ever released. Also, how do you know Vanessa? You are talking about Vanessa Fitzroy, right?

Gregory: i dunno her last name, but she's got really long blonde hair. also, she has mentioned something like that before. she thinks it's apart of the Mimic1 program thingy

Jeremy 3: Her hair was short, but she was blonde. However, I'm not familiar with this program you mentioned. She was set to take over playtesting after me, though, so she probably found something I didn't. I'm glad to hear she survived it.

Gregory: define 'survived'

Jeremy 2: what the hell are the two of you going on about?!!

Jeremy 1: you don't mean to tell me there's another rabbit running around, is there?

Gregory: i wouldn't call it a rabbit so much as a rogue AI that likes to dress up like a rabbit. and other things. it's, er, complicated.

Jeremy 2: great. just wait 'till I tell the others about this. they'll be over the moon.

Gregory: sarcasm?

Jeremy 2: what do you think??!!

Jeremy 1: well, whatever's going on, i hope michael at least knows about it

Gregory: sort of. for all the technological advancements freddy and the pizza plex gave him, he still doesn't understand a lot of the things going on right now. i kinda feel bad for him

Jeremy 3: Do you know of anyway I could get in touch with Vanessa, Gregory?

Gregory: er, yeah, but i dunno how she'd feel about talking to a dead coworker she apparently found the body of.

Jeremy 1: eh, you get used to it. i found michael as a rotting corpse making tea in his kitchen back in the late '90s. he was purple and missing all of his organs, but he still made pleasant conversation and offered me a cup. i can't help but think there was something extremely british about that

Jeremy 2: rotting from the inside-out but still had time to make tea. sounds about right lol

Gregory: that's my dad 😃

Jeremy 1: huh? since when has michael had a kid?

Jeremy 2: that's a long story.

Gregory: well, long story-short, he helped me not die and then unofficially adopted me

Jeremy 2: oh, i thought you were actually blood-related to the aftons

Gregory: nope, my real parents are dead

Jeremy 2: ...sorry for your loss

Gregory: it's whatever. i can't even remember them. sorry about your parents dying, though, since it's been forever since you kicked the bucket

Jeremy 2: ..........thanks

Gregory: 😁

Jeremy 1: if i remember correctly, Dick Hall moved to Montana after y'all were gone for a few years.

Jeremy 2: my dad's name isn't dick!

Jeremy 1: yeah, but his name was richard. it's a nickname, kid

Jeremy 2: still. don't call him that.

Jeremy 3: alright, alright

Gregory: jeremy #3 are you still here

Jeremy 3: Yes, I am.

Gregory: ok, vanessa wants your number so she can private chat you

Jeremy 3: ###-###-####

Gregory: 👍

*Gregory left the chat*

Jeremy 2: why do we get a notification when someone leaves but not when they join?

Jeremy 1: i have no idea

Jeremy 3: I'll talk to you two later. It was nice getting to meet you both.

Jeremy 2: yeah, thanks for the existential crisis, guys

Jeremy 1: all in a day's work, kid

Jeremy 2: -_-

Chapter Text

*afton'slittleshits chat opened*

2:30 pm

Freddy Fazbear: Who on earth titled this chat group?!

Elizabeth: it's glorious.

Evan: you did it, didn't you

Elizabeth: of course not, i just think it's better to embrace it

Evan: you would.

Elizabeth: and just what is that supposed to mean?

Evan: you aren't father's little girl for nothing beth

Elizabeth: that's an insult to my intelligence, evan

Gregory: lmao afton's little shits

Freddy Fazbear: Gregory, watch the language.

Gregory: i was just copying what it said

Evan: serves you right beth

Gregory: wait, am I considered an afton shit?

Elizabeth: you are an afton's little shit, after all

Freddy Fazbear: Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: don't pretend like you didn't use to swear enough to make a sailor blush, mike

Freddy Fazbear: Yes, well, I've put that behind me. And you all should as well.

Evan: sometimes i wonder how we got from the muscle t-shirt, mullet guy to this

Gregory: DAD HAD A MULLET???

Evan: yes, yes he did

Freddy Fazbear: And, here we go.

Elizabeth: it didn't look that bad on him, all things considered

Evan: yes, yes it did

Gregory: LMAO DAD

Freddy Fazbear: Hey, at least I didn't look as bad as Jeremy after he got that bowl cut.

Evan: i forgot about that lol. that was nightmare fuel. and that's saying a lot considering how much you guys scared the shit out of me back then

Freddy Fazbear: ...Are we doing this right now, Evan?

Evan: depends.

Elizabeth: oi vey. if you two start talking about that again, i'm going offline

Evan: it would be good for you since you're chronically online or playing arcade games

Freddy Fazbear: Like aunt, like nephew.

Gregory: hey! i'm not that bad

Elizabeth: not my fault some twat who calls themselves ftz keeps beating my high scores. i have to stay on top of things else i'm going to lose my free prize.

Evan: what's the free prize?

Elizabeth: i don't know. but the thrill of the chase is worth the mystery

Gregory: haha, you scare me

Freddy Fazbear: Try working at Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental back in the day. Then you really would have been scared.

Elizabeth: whatever could you mean? :v

Gregory: btw, i'm pretty sure ftz is fritz

Elizabeth: who tf is fritz

Evan: fritz campbell. he's one of the missing children from 85.

Elizabeth: what does he look like? i've got a few choice words for him

Freddy Fazbear: Elizabeth, I would not suggest you engage with the other children. Remember what Charlie said?

Elizabeth: fuck charlie. she doesn't let me do anything

Gregory: red headed kid with glasses, i think

Evan: that's him. and if you do go through with this beth, goodluck.

Elizabeth: why?

Evan: he's extremely petty. you'll likely be declaring war on him

Elizabeth: good! besides, he already declared war when he started fucking with my high scores

Freddy Fazbear: Evan, do you not remember how petty she is? This will likely be a never-ending battle.

Evan: oh. right. nevermind then. this will be fun to watch

Gregory: hell yeah it will! i'll be rooting for you aunt beth

Elizabeth: thank you, gregory. i'm now going to go find that kid

Freddy Fazbear: Wait, Elizabeth!

*Elizabeth left the chat*

*Fritz joined the chat*

Fritz: ...tf, this isn't what i meant to join

Gregory: lmao your about to be dead

Freddy Fazbear: *You're. And Fritz, he is not wrong. I would keep an eye out for a red headed girl.

Fritz: ?

Evan: my sister's pissed at you apparently

Fritz: you have a sister? also, what's up with y'all's chat name lol

Evan: why is everyone surprised to find out i have a sister?

Fritz: wait a red head?

Evan: yeah?

Gregory: wait, i think i know who dubbed us afton's little shits

Freddy Fazbear: Vanessa.

Gregory: how'd you know?

Freddy Fazbear: Because I asked her and she burst out laughing. I think it speak for itself.

Fritz: whelp, that explains that

Evan: what? the chat name or my sister?

Fritz: well, evan, there's a red headed girl currently chasing me down the hallway

Gregory: aww romance

Evan: hell no.

Fritz: i mean, she is kinda pretty

Evan: FRITZ NO

Gregory: wait are you texting while running

Fritz: yup

Gregory: lmao

Freddy Fazbear: Hold on a second, Fritz. I will come get her.

*Freddy Fazbear left the chat*

Gregory: somebody come get 'er, she dancing like a- yeahhhhh i'm not finishing that lol

Evan: do i even want to ask greg

Gregory: nope! 😃

Fritz: actually it's all good michael. i'm enjoying this

Evan: you're WHAT

Gregory: ngl i always thought my dad would be the overprotective one

Evan: it's not a matter of overprotectiveness, its the fact that we're all way too young for that shit!

Gregory: what shit?

Evan: dating! or, er, whatever fritz is doing

Fritz: jesus christ, man, you just skipped like five steps. i'm just enjoying having someone to play tag with again. no one else will play with me

Gregory: believe me, she is not playing tag with you lol

Fritz: then why is she chasing me?

Gregory: because you apparently keep beating her high scores on something and it pissed her off

Fritz: wait she's ezb?!!

Evan: yes?

Fritz: holy shit i'm being chased by a legend rn! i didn't know ezb was a girl!!

Gregory: what the hell is happening right now lmao

Evan: i have no fucking idea. fritz?!!

Fritz: well at ole fazbear's back in the day, i used to play a lot of tron. but there's was always this one player who i just couldn't beat: ezb. so i've been trying my hardest since then to beat them! or well i guess her

Gregory: jeez dude we didn't need a whole backstory

Evan: and you didn't question when ezb scores started popping up on the arcade machines around here?

Fritz: ...er, no?

Evan: fucking genius

Gregory: ok seriously is she still chasing you

Fritz: nope i dunno where she went

Evan: well you've apparently achieved your goal and now she's pissed off about it

Fritz: hehe if that's her mad, i can only imagine how pretty she is when she isn't mad

Evan: fritz, i swear to god you're just saying this shit to piss me off now

Fritz: maybe a little, but seriously your sister is very pretty

Evan: you're a deadman fritz.

Fritz: well darn. guess you really are afton's little shit

Gregory: lmao i should not be laughing at that

Evan: no, you really shouldn't.

*Elizabeth joined the chat*

Elizabeth: well that was a waste of time

Gregory: oh shit

Evan: thank god you stopped chasing him

Elizabeth: that kid can definitely run fast. i haven't been this out of breath since evan stole my chocolate biscuits in 82

Evan: how the heck do you still remember that?!

Fritz: thanks! you're pretty fast yourself, heh

Elizabeth: ...since when have you been on here?

Fritz: since a few minutes ago. i was trying to join a private chat with my friend and i wound up accidentally adding myself to y'all's. you guys should probably lock your group.

*Freddy Fazbear joined the chat*

Freddy Fazbear: Elizabeth, you cannot chase down Fritz. He's by far the fastest of the children.

Evan: since when?!

Fritz: actually yeah, i thought that was gabe? he fucking teleports, i swear

Freddy Fazbear: ...While I admit that Gabriel seems a lot more intuned with his abilities than most, Fritz is still the fastest overall. Believe me.

Elizabeth: if i had my roller skates, it would be an entirely different story

Evan: since when have you had roller skates?

Elizabeth: baby

Gregory: tf does that mean

Freddy Fazbear: She means Circus Baby. Or a... refurbished version of her, I should say.

Elizabeth: the better version. one where i could actually move around properly. circus baby took a lot of willpower to move, powered on or not. so when she got scrapped, not only was i free but i could also manipulate her a lot easier

Freddy Fazbear: I'm glad to have helped.

Elizabeth: ...right

Fritz: so... ezb, huh?

Evan: you just had to bring the conversation back around to that, didn't you

Fritz: it's not every day you meet the record setter of tron, evan

Elizabeth: what?

Fritz: didn't you use to get the high score on tron back in the day?

Elizabeth: i did, but most people didn't really care

Fritz: well i do and i think it's an honor to meet you :)

Elizabeth: .........thanks? i suppose i should apologize for chasing you around the place, then. it was rather immature of me. sorry.

Fritz: its fine! i actually had fun

Evan: too much fun.

Gregory: way to make it sound weird evan

Freddy Fazbear: Heh, Elizabeth are you making a new friend?

Elizabeth: i guess? i don't really know how to feel about this

Freddy Fazbear: You should tell Charlie.

Elizabeth: you hate me, don't you

Fritz: what does charlie have do with this?

Elizabeth: charlie doesn't trust me to do anything. something about me potentially burning the place down, i think. she should be casting a wary glance in michael's direction if you ask me

Evan: michael and his son

Gregory: probably lol

Fritz: man charlie's such a control freak sometimes. she doesn't let us go off on our own much to explore. says we gotta stay together. i mean i get it, but i'd rather not be cozying up with jeremy every minute of every day, thank you

Elizabeth: that's exactly how i feel about my brothers!

Evan: gee, thanks

Freddy Fazbear: I can just feel the love.

Elizabeth: its not just charlie. michael doesn't let me do anything either.

Freddy Fazbear: You scooped out my insides and used me as a skin suit. I think I have a legitimate reason for being a wary.

Gregory: what the actual fuck

Fritz: that's badass. holy shit. most i ever did was stuff guys in empty suits

Elizabeth: i mean, that's pretty interesting too. i had a springlock suit, but that was about it. stuffing people in suits sounds a lot neater and cleaner than what i did

Fritz: hey springlock suits are no joke. your dad was writhing on the ground for days after he set off the yellow bonnie's springlocks. none of us really cared, but you could hear him whimpering in there. it was pathetic.

Gregory: ghost kids, man. going from bonding over an arcade game to methods of fucking murdering people

Fritz: naturally ;)

Elizabeth: er, fritz would you like to talk elsewhere

Gregory: OH?

Evan: beth don't even think about it

Fritz: sure! meet me at the fazcade

Evan: oh hell no. you are not meeting him anywhere

Fritz: jeez evan. we're probably just gonna play a few games

Elizabeth: what on earth is your problem evan?

Gregory: to be fair, fritz, you were going on about how pretty elizabeth was earlier

Fritz: ...

Elizabeth: ...

Gregory: lmao whoops

Fritz: whelp, i'll talk to y'all later

*Fritz left the chat*

Evan: gregory, thanks and fuck you

Gregory: you're welcome...?

Elizabeth: that was a joke, wasn't it

Gregory: nope. scroll up in the messages a bit

Freddy Fazbear: It was likely just a joke on Fritz' part. He strikes me as that kind of child.

Elizabeth: huh. he did say that. multiple times.

Gregory: indeed he did, hehe

Evan: think nothing of it. you really don't want to get involved with fritz. he's a twat.

Elizabeth: i haven't had anyone to talk to in forever aside from you all. i need something new. besides, he seems nice.

Gregory: i can just see you twirling your hair while you typed that

Elizabeth: shut up gregory. evan, please leave me alone.

*Elizabeth left the chat*

Evan: michael why aren't you doing anything?

Freddy Fazbear: Ultimately, Evan, it's her choice. Besides, Fritz isn't that bad a kid, is he?

Gregory: then why wouldn't you shut up about charlie?

Freddy Fazbear: I was just teasing Beth.

Evan: this is happening whether i like or not, isn't it

Gregory: you make it sound like it she's running away to get married to him. they're just hanging out and playing some tron. what's so horrible about that? honestly, evan, sometimes you blow things way outta proportion

Freddy Fazbear: Besides, they're both too young for that kind of relationship, Evan. I doubt it's going any farther than it has.

Gregory: and they literally just met apparently

Evan: still, i'm keeping an eye on him -_-

Freddy Fazbear: You remind me of mum sometimes, Evan.

Evan: i... do?

Freddy Fazbear: Yes, yes, you do. Hehe.

Gregory: the old guy who used to have a mullet just said hehe

Freddy Fazbear: I would not advise calling me old, Gregory. You might not like where it gets you.

Gregory: he doesn't have a sense of humor either apparently

*Charlie joined the chat*

Charlie: why are elizabeth and fritz of all people hanging out?

Gregory: IT WAS EVAN'S FAULT

Evan: GREG DON'T EVEN FUCKING START WITH ME

Freddy Fazbear: Is that actually a problem?

Charlie: no, it was just kinda weird lol. they seem to be getting along pretty well, actually. glad to see lizzy's finally coming out of her shell a little

Gregory: ...why'd everybody make you out to seem like a control freak?

Freddy Fazbear: Gregory!

Charlie: lol, it's ok, mike. it's kind of an inside joke, gregory. don't worry about it.

Evan: fritz and elizabeth sounded rather genuine when they called you that, charlie

Charlie: ...well, whatever. i'm too exhausted right now to care. oh yeah, cassidy told me to tell you that you apparently owe her ten bucks, evan

Evan: I DON'T OWE HER SHIT

Gregory: lmao

*Fritz joined the chat*

Fritz: do any of you guys wanna play with us? we're playing street fighter II

Freddy Fazbear: Ah yes. Street Fighter II. Jeremy was terrible at that game, hehe.

Gregory: FUCK YES VIOLENCE

Evan: why are you asking us?

Fritz: because you were being a jerk earlier about me finding a pretty girl pretty. i just figured i'd give you a chance to chill the fuck out

Charlie: wait, what?

Fritz: shit

Gregory: i'm not the only one confused by everyone's relationship with charlie, right?

Charlie: you find liz pretty?

Fritz: man, i should have just kept my mouth shut

Gregory: just saying -> romance

Evan: earlier you were telling me it wasn't like that, gregory

Gregory: yeah but it's fun teasing people evan

*Elizabeth joined the chat*

Elizabeth: for fucks sake would you people shut up about this shit

Fritz: she was reading over my shoulder

Gregory: yeah, this is actually getting kinda boring. can I GET OVER HERE somebody yet?

Evan: what does that mean?

Freddy Fazbear: Scorpion. I've never been more proud of you, Gregory.

Fritz: yeah, c'mon, gregory

Elizabeth: evan, piss off

Fritz: lmao

*Elizabeth left the chat*

*Fritz left the chat*

*Gregory left the chat*

Charlie: you might want to go talk to cassidy about that money you owe her, evan

Evan: can't you see i've got more important things to worry about?!

Charlie: cassidy will do whatever she can to get her money. i wouldn't risk it

*Charlie left the chat*

Evan: why does it feel like everyone's against me today

Freddy Fazbear: Not everyone! :)

Evan: ...heh, thanks, michael.

Chapter Text

*MCI chat opened*

12:00 am

Fritz: anyone else awake?

Jeremy: well i am now, jerk

Fritz: jeez jeremy just turn off the notification sound

Gabriel: its midnight, isn’t it

Fritz: yup

Gabriel: damn it.

Susie: i think we got so used to being active at midnight that our internal clocks have been permanently set to wake us up then

Fritz: sounds about right

Cassidy: i wonder if anyone else has this problem

Jeremy: you were rarely active, cassidy. you have no right to talk

Cassidy: bullshit. i was awake when you guys were, i just couldn’t move. mostly.

Evan: my sister doesn’t even have a consistent sleep schedule. she just sleeps whenever. apparently she never had a good way to find out what time it was

Jeremy: your ‘sister’? there’s another afton kid?

Fritz: yup. she’s pretty chill. her name’s elizabeth

Evan: shut up fritz

Fritz: well someone’s still salty

Gabriel: i believe i’ve met her before. it was way back in the day, though

Fritz: doesn’t surprise me. when we were alive, you made it your mission to greet any new kids at freddy’s, no matter how much of an awkward loser they probably were. like jeremy, for example

Jeremy: says the kid who used to run around barefoot yelling shitty Treasure Island quotes

Fritz: hey, treasure island’s a classic

Gregory: what’s that?

Cassidy: and he’s back, guys. the man, the myth, the legend

Gregory: hell yeah 😎

Susie: a pirate movie from the 50s fritz use to be obsessed with for some reason

Gabriel: the fact that it was a pirate movie should speak for itself. Fritz was obsessed with pirates.

Gregory: fritz you used to possess foxy, right?

Fritz: …yeah

Gregory: lmao that’s tragic

*Gregory was kicked from the chat*

Cassidy: lol

Evan: sometimes i’m glad he’s adopted

Cassidy: and being directly blood-related to afton is better somehow?

Evan: …shut up.

Gregory: if i may make a suggestion

Fritz: mf’s back again?!

Cassidy: damn that was a new record

Gregory: you should check out The Pirates of the Caribbean movies, fritz. assuming you still like pirate stuff anyway

Susie: oooh, i watched those with cassie the other day! fritz, you would absolutely love them!!

Fritz: i guess i’ll give them a try. but if they’re shit, i’m coming for you, kid

Gregory: i’m so scared. see me shiver

Evan: gregory don’t be an arse

Cassidy: that’s not how that’s spelled dumbass

Jeremy: oh yeah, evan, can i ask you something?

Evan: huh? yes?

Jeremy: do you know someone named jeremiah fitzgerald?

Evan: why the fuck are you asking me that?

Cassidy: that would probably be a yes, my dude

Jeremy: just… er… reasons

Evan: what reasons???

Gregory: there’s a chat room made exclusively for people named jeremy, and fitzgerald and hall were added to it a few hours ago. hall wound up having an existential crisis over it lmao

Jeremy: how would you feel if you were suddenly added to a chat group where you had zero individuality from anyone else aside from being called ‘Gregory 2’??!!

Fritz: that kinda shit wouldn’t happen to anyone else but you, jear-bear

Jeremy: what’s that supposed to mean?

Gregory: 0_0

Evan: =/

Gabriel: -_-

Susie: =D

Jeremy: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME??!

Cassidy: took him a second

Susie: aww you’re his jear-bear =D

Jeremy: susie that is definitely not what he meant by that

Fritz: i mean… that depends, jeremy

Jeremy: i know you hate me just as much as i hate you. don’t even joke about that shit

Gregory: besides, it was made pretty clear yesterday that fritz likes girls

Evan: gregory. gregory i will kill you. you will die.

Gregory: damn that sucks. anyway

Gabriel: what happened yesterday?

Fritz: for the last time, it’s not like that

Gregory: then why’d you keep reiterating how pretty my aunt was?

Jeremy: HUH?

Gabriel: i’m assuming you mean Elizabeth?

Gregory: yup. they bonded over some super old arcade game yesterday

Susie: FRITZ HAS A GIRLFRIEND????

Fritz: no, i don’t. and, anyway, why does that make you so excited?

Gregory: not yet ;)

Evan: not my sister, if that’s what you’re asking

Gabriel: heh, you remember when the power went out at freddy’s, evan? it was in 83

Evan: for the love of God would you people stop talking about my sister

Gregory: wtf happened in 83

Evan: your father killed me, twat

Gregory: yeah, yeah, i already know about that. i’m talking about the thing gabe mentioned

Gabriel: it was when elizabeth and i first met, i believe.

Fritz: what happened?

Evan: gabriel in all his wisdom decided it’d be a good idea to hold hands with some random girl he’d never met

Gabriel: she was scared

Evan: oh please. the two of us were probably more scared than she was.

Cassidy: gabriel, how come you’ve never told me about this?!! that’s so scandalous!! honestly, what would mom say?

Susie: oooh, gabriel held hands in the dark with a girl

Gabriel: it sounds pretty bad when you word it like that, but i assure you nothing questionable happened

Evan: we were like five, gabriel. something questionable did essentially happen

Susie: i remember when i used to hold all the boys’ hands in kindergarten. my ma got really mad at me for it

Cassidy: susie!! you’re the last person i would’ve expected that from

Susie: hehe

Cassidy: again with the ‘hehe’?

Gregory: lmao what is this conversation

Fritz: so gabriel and elizabeth hung out one time. what’s the big deal?

Cassidy: jealousy??

Gregory: 🤔🫢

Fritz: i was just saying, why is everyone making it bigger than it is?

Gabriel: you’re the one who’s acting weird.

Fritz: how tf am i acting weird? i just said one thing???

Cassidy: if you had to chose, evan, which would you prefer elizabeth to date

Gabriel: Cassidy, no one is dating anyone.

Evan: when push comes to shove, it’s her choice. but if we’re speaking hypothetically, i’d pick gabriel. i don’t trust fritz in the least.

Fritz: wha- why? i thought we got along yesterday

Gregory: i’m not the only one who’s already bored of this stuff right

Jeremy: i’m just glad fritz isn’t bothering me anymore

Fritz: jear-bear, save me. they’re accusing me of doing shit

Evan: i didn’t accuse you of anything. i just don’t trust you in general.

Jeremy: fritz, fuck off. and that’s completely fair evan

Gregory: just outta curiosity, which out of you guys have crushes on each other? since we’re on the topic of crushes n stuff

Gabriel: we weren’t really, but i suppose it’s a fair question. i believe Jeremy has a crush on Susie.

Jeremy: no, i don’t? what gave you that idea?

Cassidy: careful there, jeremy. susie’s a wild one. she goes round holding hands with all the boys

Susie: and carl and i are a package deal. you date me, you date carl

Evan: i still can’t believe you named that cupcake carl of all things

Fritz: i mean, she named her dog buttermilk

Susie: he was my little butter pupper =D

Gregory: that’s actually kinda cute ngl

Susie: oh you should’ve seen him. he was the cutest, sweetest puppy ever!!

Evan: that dog bit me

Susie: only because you startled him with your crying. who cries under a table at a church christmas party?

Evan: to be left alone

Gregory: lmao loser

Evan: jesus christ you really are just like michael

Gregory: ?

Cassidy: i have a theory that gabriel likes charlie

Gregory: the girl nobody likes for some reason?

Gabriel: i do admire Charlie, but i don’t have a crush on her. she’s quite a bit younger than me

Fritz: i have a crush on jear-bear

Jeremy: STOP. FUCKING. CALLING. ME. THAT.

Fritz: but. i. love. you! ;)

Gregory: i. thought. you. liked. elizabeth.

Cassidy: would. you. fuckers. stop. putting. periods. after. every. word.

Fritz: no.

Evan: can we just forget my sister exists for a minute

Fritz: that’s harsh

Evan: …i give up. i don’t care what happens anymore. marry her for all i care.

Gregory: damn bro really just did a 180

Evan: tf does that mean?

Fritz: alright, it looks like i need to make something clear. i do think liz is pretty, but that doesn’t mean i like her like that. i’m just happy to have a friend i can talk to about things i actually give a shit about.

Jeremy: wow. you really are an asshole.

Susie: but… we talk about stuff, too?

Gabriel: i’m sure there’s a better way you could’ve worded that, Fritz.

Fritz: look, you three have always been together, and cassidy had evan. but i’ve been by myself for the most part. it’s nice to meet someone who gets how that feels.

Gregory: big sad

Evan: now’s not the time, greg

Gregory: 🤗

Gabriel: i understand what you mean, Fritz. i think everyone’s just blowing things way out of proportion like normal.

Gregory: *cough* evan *cough*

Evan: don’t shove me under the bus! you’re the one who couldn’t leave well-enough alone.

Susie: will we get to meet elizabeth soon?

Evan: you want to?

Susie: she is the only afton we haven’t met yet, after all.

Gregory: that’s not necessarily true

Susie: who else, then?

Gregory: vanessa’s kind of an honorary one, i think

Jeremy: you and Jeremy 3 were talking about a vanessa earlier. is it the same one?

Gregory: yup

Evan: i suppose you guys can meet elizabeth (as long as you don’t act weird or mention the Fritz thing). just don’t tell charlie.

Gregory: ness, too

Gabriel: i can talk to Charlie later.

Cassidy: ooooh

Gabriel: again, i don’t like Charlie like that.

Cassidy: of course you don’t ;)

Fritz: ya know, i think we should log off for now. it’s already one am. normally Jear-bear would’ve failed to catch the night guard by now

Jeremy: i swear to god if jear-bear becomes a recurring thing, i’m gonna punch you

Fritz: oh well that’ll put a damper on our relationship

Jeremy: no shit sherlock. and what relationship? you hate me and i hate you.

Gregory: i hate you, you hate me, let’s team up and kill barney with an RPG and a 4x4, no more purple dinosaur.

Cassidy: LMAO

Evan: …why

Gregory: because

Susie: goodnight/morning, everyone!

Gabriel: goodmorning, Susie.

Cassidy: morning, sinner

Susie: sinner?

Cassidy: cause you went round holding boys’ hands

Susie: hehe

Evan: goodmorning, susie.

Fritz: TOP O’ THE MORNIN’ TO YA, LADDIES

Gregory: YES

Evan: i knew you were going to reference that

Jeremy: goodmorning, susie! =D

Fritz: so i take it you guys agree we should take a break for a while?

Gregory: NEVER

Evan: actually, greg, why aren’t you asleep?

Gabriel: …that’s a good point. we don’t need sleep anymore, but you’re still growing, Gregory. you should’ve been asleep hours ago.

Gregory: ‘cause sleeping’s for the weak

Fritz: damn, if you were asleep these bitches might’ve left me alone about liz

Gregory: sucks to be you pirate wannabe

Susie: maybe we should temporarily close the chat so he’ll stop getting distracted?

Jeremy: he’ll just hop onto another one.

Gregory: haha you can’t get rid of me. i am inevitable.

Freddy Fazbear: Gregory, go to bed.

Fritz: oooooooh

Cassidy: oooooooooooooh mf’s ‘bout to get in trouble

Freddy Fazbear: Children, please.

Evan: just so you know, i’m pretty close to killing greg, mike

Freddy Fazbear: You wouldn’t be the first person. Haha.

Gregory: haha.

Freddy Fazbear: Gregory. Go. To. Sleep.

Gregory: 🫡

Freddy Fazbear: That means turning off your Fazwatch.

Gregory: 💤💭can’t, i’m asleep💭💤

Freddy Fazbear: Don’t worry, children. I will handle this. Please, get some rest. Tomorrow might be a big day.

Evan: ??

Fritz: ooh

Cassidy: i don’t know how much i trust you

Evan: you don’t trust anyone

Cassidy: exactly! susie, especially. she’s the real deviant here apparently

Susie: that’s why we’re friends, honey! =D

*Gregory was kicked from the chat*

Fritz: that wasn’t me

Freddy Fazbear: Goodnight, children!⚡⚡️⚡️

Jeremy: why the lightening emojis?

Evan: because 80s teen possessing a glam rock-themed animatronic

Jeremy: …ok?

Fritz: you struck my heart with lightning when we first met, jear-bear

Jeremy: ………?????

Fritz: you just don’t understand my love

Jeremy: i’m already so done with this

Evan: welcome to my world

Fritz: pleasure doin’ business with you, gents ;)

Jeremy: ???

Chapter Text

*charlie’sangels chat opened*

8:47 am

Cassidy: hey, my mom used to watch that all the time

Susie: what’d she watch?

Cassidy: Charlie’s Angels. it’s a cop show from the 70s

Charlie: very funny elizabeth

Elizabeth: is that sarcasm? if it is, then it’s extremely misguided. this was one of my greatest chat names yet, charlie

Susie: omg are you elizabeth afton??

Cassidy: i already love this girl

Elizabeth: yes. and i won’t lie, that’s a little surprising, cassidy; my brother made it sound like you disliked anyone associated with my father

Cassidy: evan is dramatic as hell, elizabeth. dude exaggerates everything

Charlie: his paranoia can be a bit… much sometimes

Cassidy: it’s not even paranoia. he’s just that emotionally-driven

Susie: is evan trans?

Elizabeth: is evan what?

Cassidy: susie wtf

Charlie: she’s asking if evan is transgender. transitioned from girl to boy. and no, he’s not. he died when he was six, susie.

Susie: so? sometimes you just are the way you are

Elizabeth: my father would’ve probably laughed his arse off if evan asked to be considered a girl. that wouldn’t have happened if evan wanted it to

Cassidy: God, i hate that man… also, why do you aftons keep spelling ass wrong? is it a british person thing?

Elizabeth: i’m surprised you know what arse is if you’re asking me that

Susie: what do you think evan’s girl name would be?

Elizabeth: evangeline

Cassidy: that was quick

Charlie: when we were still alive, the three of us and my brother were talking about what our opposite gender names would be and that’s what evan picked

Susie: ooh, evangeline is super pretty! i’ll have to consult evan next time i wanna name a new pet

Elizabeth: no. no, you do not. he named his favorite bath toy señor duck duck

Cassidy: LMAO

Susie: aw, but that’s so cute!

Charlie: sammy used to tease the hell out of him about it lol

Elizabeth: sam was an arsehole in general, i’ll be honest

Charlie: eh, he had his moments

Susie: what was y’all’s boy names?

Cassidy: i thought it was ya’ll

Elizabeth: what is it with you and bloody grammar?!

Charlie: charles, i think. also, no, cassidy, susie’s right

Cassidy: mine would be exactly the same ‘cause it’s neutral i think

Charlie: yours would be andrew

Cassidy: ……..why exactly…?

Charlie: reasons

Cassidy: ????

Elizabeth: if i remember correctly, i couldn’t decide between elliot and edward

Charlie: —and i never understood that. edward sounds nothing like elizabeth

Cassidy: oh my lawd, please let me call you eddie; i wanna confuse the hell out of everybody

Elizabeth: something tells me you’re going to do it anyways so by all means, do as you wish, andrew

Cassidy: …shit lmao

Elizabeth: problem?

Cassidy: nope, i think we’re gonna get along just fine

Susie: what do you think my boy name would be? i can’t think of any good ones

Elizabeth: samuel lol

Charlie: ehhhhhhh how about not

Cassidy: sebastian? i was also thinking stefan or solomon, but those don’t fit you at all

Susie: sebastian may sutherland. i like it!

Elizabeth: may?

Cassidy: it’s her middle name i think

Susie: nope, my full first name is susanna may!

Elizabeth: you have two first names???

Cassidy: NEVER TRUST A PERSON WITH TWO FIRST NAMES

Susie: hehe

Cassidy: i’m starting to think that’s your evil laugh now

Susie: ;)

Cassidy: 0_0

Charlie: so i’m charles, elizabeth is eddie (still don’t get it), cassidy is andrew, and susie is sebastian may

Susie: =D

Cassidy: ya’ll

Charlie: *y’all

Cassidy: …

Elizabeth: lol

Cassidy: y’all, we should change our names to the boy versions and invade the boys’ chat

Susie: can we even do that? don’t we have to be invited to join it?

Cassidy: yeah, but i know a guy

Elizabeth: it’s my nephew, isn’t it

Cassidy: he is our resident pro hacker, after all

Charlie: no, he fucking isn’t. he’s just a stupidly brave kid that goes around wrecking everything he touches and constantly fucks around with the fazwatch settings.

Cassidy: damn girl, chill tf out

Elizabeth: and everyone says you have beef with me

Susie: i just thought she didn’t like you interacting with us for some reason?

Charlie: ok, seriously, who the fuck came up with that? i don’t give a shit who hangs out with who; you wanna set shit on fire with some random kid from another group of dead mfs, go right ahead! i am waaayyy to tired of everyone’s bullshit to give a shit about that stuff

Cassidy: for a girl who doesn’t curse normally, that’s a lot of shits lol

Elizabeth: i could have sworn you told me to stay away from the MCI 85 back when they first came up from the sinkhole in roxy raceway

Susie: and no one ever mentioned that evan had a sister until this morning!

Charlie: i said to be wary of them. back then, they weren’t all that friendly to anyone nightguard/afton-adjacent. but, for fuck’s sake, that was more than a year ago!

Cassidy: is that why you didn’t let us do anything? because you thought we were going to go apeshit or something?

Charlie: i wouldn’t word it like that, but pretty much, yeah

Elizabeth: fritz made it sound as if you still don’t let them branch off

Charlie: elizabeth, fritz campbell is a fucking dumbass. please don’t take anything he says seriously or you WILL lose precious brain cells.

Susie: …yeah, i love him, but he can be a bit of a jerk. especially to jeremy.

Cassidy: oh yeah, he’s a fucking ass to jeremy. it’s been that way since the day we died. the jear-bear thing is pretty funny though, ngl

Charlie: jeremy’s not entirely innocent either. he knows very well that him getting pissed off is what gets fritz motivated to keep pissing him off.

Susie: he has some anger issues, yes, but at least jeremy’s trying to work through them. fritz just acts like a jackass all the time and thinks he can get away with it because everyone thinks he’s funny

Cassidy: damn susie

Charlie: you could describe gregory that way, too.

Cassidy: gregory is a living, growing twelve year old. fritz is a fifty-ish year old spirit of a seven year old. i don’t think that’s a fair comparison, charlie

Elizabeth: you all certainly have some strong opinions about your friends

Susie: it’s a little hard not to when you’ve been stuck with them for so long. still love them, though. they’re like my older brothers

Cassidy: they definitely fight like they are lol

Susie: it makes me feel pretty bad for gabriel sometimes

Elizabeth: how is he? i haven’t seen him in years

Cassidy: 0_0

Susie: cass, remember the boys got mad at us yesterday. let’s leave the teasing alone for now, hehe

Elizabeth: ?

Cassidy: yeah, you’re probably right. still, can’t help being excited about it ‘cause gabriel never told me about that, you know?

Elizabeth: told you about what?

Charlie: a little off-topic, but i take it we’re not invading the boys’ chat?

Cassidy: i thought you didn’t want to?

Charlie: i didn’t say that, i just said gregory wasn’t a professional hacker. you people never actually listen to me, i swear

Susie: i still want to!! it’d be so much fun!!

Elizabeth: i mean, why the hell not? we’re just sitting here talking shit about them anyway, why not say it to them directly?

Cassidy: holy shit you’re right, i can finally tell fritz his freckles are weird

Charlie: what’s stopping you from doing that normally?

Cassidy: gabriel gets kinda pissy when i pick fights. buzzkill older brother stuff.

Elizabeth: i can relate to that lol

Susie: eeeeeee, i’m getting so excited now!!! they’re gonna be so confused

Cassidy: what’re you going to say to them, susie?

Susie: everything i’ve ever wanted to! susanna sutherland might be a sweetheart, but sebastian sutherland definitely won’t be. ooh boy, have i got some choice words for them

Elizabeth: you’re certainly an interesting one, susie. i respect that

Susie: aw, thanks!! =D

Cassidy: alright, imma message gregory now. deal with it, charles

Charlie: yeah, yeah, whatever.

Elizabeth: while she’s doing that, i’ve got a question

Susie: ooh, ask away!!

Charlie: nothing insensitive

Elizabeth: hmpf. and i was just about to ask you a question about mr. henry’s death, too. ah well, better luck next time.

Charlie: …point made, elizabeth. now shut the fuck up.

Elizabeth: i don’t think i will. let’s see, what are your thoughts on the current freddy’s incarnation? the pizza plex is definitely… something

Cassidy: ngl, i probably would’ve sold my entire cabbage patch dolls collection just to go to the daycare, let alone the entire mall. this place is like if freddy fazbear’s pizza and the hurricane south mall had a baby and then fed it nothing but cheesy sci-fi movies and sesame street

Elizabeth: alright then

Susie: i really like chica’s new design! she wears pink now like me!! =D

Gregory: you know she eats stuff out of the trash right

Charlie: so does susie. i once saw her scarf down a discarded cupcake when she thought no one was looking

Cassidy: SUSIE YOU ATE CARL??!! HOW COULD YOU???

Susie: IT WAS A BLUE CUPCAKE, CASSIDY!! BLUE!!!

Charlie: yes, because that makes the fact that you ate a germ-filled piece of trash better

Elizabeth: as if you didn’t lick the tables at freddy’s once, charlie.

Charlie: it was a dare from my dumbshit twin. i had to do it.

Gregory: lmao i should hang with you guys more. you four sound waayyy more fun than the boys

Cassidy: heh, welcome to the darkside, kid

Elizabeth: speaking of the boys, did cassidy tell you our plan yet?

Gregory: nope

Charlie: just for the record, this wasn’t my idea.

Cassidy: so basically we’re gonna change our names to the boy versions of them and then invade the boys chat to roast the fuck out of them

Gregory: lmao

Cassidy: you know a way to help us do that?

Gregory: hell yeah i do!! just gimme a sec tho

Cassidy: take your time

Susie: so charlie, what do you think of the new freddy’s?

Charlie: it’s a maze of neon lights and pathetic attempts at covering up its fucked up history. i really wish michael had gone through with burning it down.

Elizabeth: it’s still ended up getting hellishly messed up, though

Charlie: yeah, but the fact that it's still standing at all is ridiculous.

Gregory: i would happily burn it down, but that would definitely release the thing ness and i trapped in the basement. believe me, that would not be a good thing

Charlie: ……….pardon?

Gregory: alright, we’re all set! i just sent out the invite

Susie: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Gregory: …you trying to quote rush e or something?

Susie: what’s that?

Gregory: …nvm

Charlie: alright, angels, are you ready for your next mission

Cassidy: LMAO CHARLIE

Elizabeth: yessss, i knew you loved the chat name

Susie: hell yeah!!!! let’s go confuse the boys!!!

Gregory: lol what

Cassidy: my lawd, you’re uncultured, kid

Elizabeth: he hasn’t heard of M*A*S*H, either. how, i have no idea since that was one of michael’s favorite shows

Susie: i kinda used to have a crush on hawkeye… hehe

Cassidy: oh, you weren’t alone, susie. i might not have been able to truly understand him yet, but he made five year old me feel some time of way

Charlie: i always liked radar more. he was an adorable sweetheart :]

Elizabeth: radar always reminded me of evan lol

Cassidy: OMG HE IS JUST LIKE RADAR

Gregory: you guys gonna join the other chat yet, or…?

Cassidy: switching over now, bitches

*Cassidy left the chat*

Susie: see you guys on the other side!!

*Susie left the chat*

Charlie: this is going to be a train wreck lmao

Elizabeth: isn’t that the fun of it~?

*Charlie left the chat*

*Elizabeth left the chat*

Gregory: this is gonna be chaotic as hell lmao

Chapter Text

*unnamed chat opened*

9:13 am

Andrew: that is the lamest chat name i’ve ever seen

Jeremy: …and you are?

Fritz: we’ve been trying to figure out who the admin is ‘cause it ain’t me this time

Gabriel: i am. i just haven’t come up with a good name yet

Gregory: guys these are my friends from school

Evan: how the hell did they even get on here?!

Gregory: i invited them

Evan: that’s not how that… oh whatever

Gabriel: would all the newcomers say something so i know who all is active

Andrew: dear pesky plumbers, the koopalings and i have taken over the mushroom kingdom

Gregory: lmao how do you even know that quote

Andrew: the internet

Sebastian: hello gregory’s other friends =D

Fritz: we’re more like his uncle’s friends, but sure

Evan: you consider yourselves my friends?

Gabriel: of course

Jeremy: yeah?

Fritz: we had a birthday party for you dumbass, what do you think

Evan: ………..thanks

Edward: with all due respect, gabriel, can’t you see who all is in the chat by way of the listing?

Gabriel: …sort of

Fritz: he’s still learning the ropes

Charles: it’s andrew, edward, sebastian, and me

Fritz: btw, you guys realize you’re talking to a bunch of dead ghost kids right

Andrew: and?

Sebastian: i commune with ghosts every saturday! it’s kinda my thing

Fritz: stunning

Edward: what’s life without a little spice?

Jeremy: …that’s one way of looking at it i guess

Gabriel: so, Gregory, why’d you decide to have your friends talk to us?

Gregory: ‘cause i mentioned i knew ghosts and they said they wanted to meet you guys. we’re doing it as a 3am challenge kinda thing

Evan: 3am was almost six hours ago, twat

Edward: someone’s got their panties in a twist

Evan: EXCUSE ME?

Andrew: you tell ‘em eddie

Fritz: lol i think i’m gonna like this guy

Andrew: 0_0

Fritz: what?

Jeremy: aren’t you guys going to ask us some dumb ghost questions?

Charles: are any of you haunting anyone?

Evan: my brother sometimes. it really depends on the day.

Fritz: i like to terrorize the occasional toddler

Evan: i would’ve hated you growing up

Fritz: probably lol

Jeremy: back when the pizza plex was still open, i messed around with the bonnie bowl alleys occasionally. you’d be surprised how pissed off grown men get when they think they’re being cheated

Gregory: that was you?! i swear to god the only time i’ve ever sucked at bowling was at bonnie bowl

Jeremy: when did you play bonnie bowl? i made a point to remember the people i screwed with so i could find them again and i never saw you

Andrew: that doesn’t mean anything, you can barely remember what the the back of your own hand looks like

Jeremy: …what?

Gregory: wrong jeremy, andy

Andrew: oh. uh whoops

Edward: and so it begins

Charles: shut up

Edward: <3

Jeremy: ??

Gregory: to answer your question jeremy, i played some bonnie bowl at cassie’s bday last year. we spent most of the day at roxy raceway, but we figured we’d change things up a bit

Evan: you were trying to show off i bet

Fritz: jeremy apparently fucked that up lmao

Jeremy: i don’t remember this but you're welcome

Fritz: you did good, jear-bear, you did good

Jeremy: i’m begging you, please stop calling me that

Fritz: whatever could you mean, jear-bear :v

Sebastian: you seem kinda rude

Fritz: huh? what’d i say that was rude?

Jeremy: …i mean, the nickname’s annoying as hell, sure, but i don’t think it’s rude

Gregory: sry, i was afk. evan wtf do you mean i was trying to show off

Evan: you spend an awful lot of time with cassie. it just makes me wonder sometimes

Gabriel: you spend a lot of time with my sister.

Andrew: disgusting

Gabriel: sorry?

Evan: are you being serious right now gabriel

Charles: andrew, you’re being particularly talkative today

Andrew: i can’t help it, dude. it’s like a compulsion. i have to type out my thoughts

Charles: that’s a load of shit

Gabriel: i’ve never been more serious, Evan. i just think you shouldn’t go around making accusations like that without thinking it through

Fritz: that’s a very wise thing to say gabriel. gregory you should take notes

Gregory: hey evan was the one who wouldn’t shut up about you and my aunt

Evan: oh for the love of— i thought we passed this!!!!

Fritz: only in your dreams, lovebug

Jeremy: why tf did i laugh at that

Fritz: ‘cause you’re the only one who gets me, jear-bear

Evan: fritz i really don’t understand you sometimes

Edward: andrew what’s the problem? do you know gabriel’s sister…? :0

Andrew: yes

Charles: ???

Gregory: lol what

Fritz: i know everyone’s already moved away from this, but wtf is this sebastian guy’s beef with me

Sebastian: don’t worry about it =D

Fritz: 0_0???

Gabriel: when did you meet my sister, Andrew?

Evan: wait why does that name sound familiar

Andrew: my name?

Evan: yeah…

Andrew: you’re probably high or smth idk

Charles: why does he have to be high?

Andrew: that’s what cassidy said

Evan: ok seriously who tf are you???

Jeremy: hey no offense evan but didn’t your brother used to smoke

Evan: wtf does that have to do with anything?

Andrew: uh so like cassidy’s my gf

Edward: lmao

Gabriel: interesting.

Fritz: y’all should see gabe’s face rn. he’s smiling way too much. i think this andy guy’s gonna get stuffed in a glamrock or smth

Jeremy: …andrew, you are aware cassidy’s dead, right?

Andrew: yeah. so am i

Gregory: plot twist 🥵

Evan: bloody hell gregory

Gregory: hah british

Evan: no shit

Charles: ok this is just getting ridiculous. girls, we should stop.

Evan: ????

Andrew: buzzkill

Edward: and just who are you calling ‘girls’?

Sebastian: aw, already?

Gregory: wait no you can’t

Charles: why not?

Gregory: evan will actually kill me

Evan: 🤨

Gregory: omg you used an emoji 🫢🥹

Evan: what did you do now?

Fritz: oh i get it

Jeremy: get what?

Sebastian: oh yes bless us all with your wisdom

Fritz: …………….???????

Andrew: ngl sebby you’re acting kinda weird

Sebastian: hehe

Andrew: e v i l l a u g h

Sebastian: =D

Evan: out with it, fritz

Fritz: jeez dude gimme a second

Jeremy: to do what?

Fritz: your mom

Gregory: LMAO

Evan: i just audibly groaned

Charles: i didn’t think i’d be seeing a ‘your mom’ joke in this century

Andrew: oh lawdy

Gabriel: lawdy?

Andrew: yeah. it’s the country accent version of lord. kinda like how susie pronounces it

Gabriel: my sister usually uses that spelling.

Andrew: huh. weird. guess cass and i are a match made in heaven! ♡

Fritz: or your just cassidy pretending to be some random guy (and failing)

Jeremy: just for the record, fritz, my mom’s dead

Fritz: everyone’s moms are dead now dumbass, you ain’t special

Charles: it is cassidy. i’m charlie

Andrew: whelp so much for calling fritz’ freckles weird

Fritz: aw shucks cass. you flatter me

Evan: who are the other two?

Sebastian: your worst nightmare! =D

Evan: ah so see-through fredbear then

Sebastian: …eh?

Jeremy: i think sebastian might be susie. ‘he’s’ been using a lot of smiley faces lol

Sebastian: you figured me out that easy? =/

Gregory: they’re all lying. they’re nobody

Evan: the jig is up, greg, just fess up. you hacked us didn’t you

Gregory: IT WAS CHARLIE’S IDEA

Charles: wha— no it wasn’t? it was cassidy’s, dude

Fritz: so that just leaves this edward guy. which girl have we not listed off yet?

Edward: ezb

Fritz: …ah hi

Edward: ‘ello

Evan: gregory i’m going to tell michael

Gregory: i’ll give you all my not-pissed-on faztokens if you don’t do that

Evan: you’re going to have to try harder than that dear nephew

Andrew: damn dude you're acting kinda vindictive today. you and susie plotting on us?

Sebastian: maybe

Evan: that depends

Sebastian: =D

Evan: =D

Gregory: lol im in danger

Andrew: i think we all are dude

Jeremy: gregory, why tf do you have pissed-on faz— actually don’t answer that.

Fritz: i mean it is a freddy’s establishment. our location had to have a rule that specifically told kids not to crap on the floor

Jeremy: yeah and you were probably the target audience

Fritz: nah i was usually too constipated for that

Andrew: tmi dude

Gabriel: real quick, can i ask why you girls decided to do this?

Andrew: ‘cause i thought it would be funny but charlie’s a buzzkill and y’all are lame

Edward: omg she spelled it right

Charles: hallelujah, praise the lord

Andrew: fuck off

Sebastian: it was fun talking to you fritz =D

Fritz: did i just spend the past couple minutes getting trolled by susie

Jeremy: i have no idea what she was trying to do, but i guess?

Andrew: the susie may is an enigma

Sebastian: hehe

Evan: alright i told mike

Gregory: shit

Edward: oh please, he’s not going to do anything. maybe he’ll give gregory a stern talking-to, but it’s not like gregory was spamming anyone.

Evan: not today anyway

Gregory: soon

Evan: case in point.

Gabriel: i think i figured out how the system works. sorry, girls, but i’m going to kick you now.

Andrew: fine but pick a better name for the chat dude. i refuse to be related to a guy who named his chat ‘unnamed’

Sebastian: ours is called charlie’s angels! =D

Jeremy: like the cop show?

Edward: exactly

Charles: i still don’t know how to feel about it

Edward: oh you know you love it ;)

Fritz: did you come up with it?

Edward: i did! it was either that or the powerpuff girls but that would’ve excluded charlie

Gregory: charlie could’ve been that one brown-haired girl who told the doc she was a mistake

Jeremy: that’s oddly specific

Gregory: i dunno what the girl’s name is and you guys probably don’t care anyway

Jeremy: not really

Evan: we could just call it freddy’s chat since it’s, you know, freddy’s chat

Gabriel: i’d rather not -_-

Fritz: wait we can be gabriel’s angels since there’s an archangel named gabriel or smth like that

Jeremy: he’s god’s messenger if i remember correctly

Evan: 1. gabriel foster is not even close to that. 2. we are definitely not angels

Sebastian: freddy and the rock-afire explosion ripoffs?

Fritz: who hurt you

Jeremy: holy shit i forgot showbiz pizza place existed

Andrew: those restaurants were the best back in the day ngl

Gregory: wtf is that?

Evan: one of two restaurant chains my father and henry got the idea for fredbear’s from

Edward: let’s say it how it is: they stole the idea. it’s a miracle freddy’s ended up being as moderately successful as it was during the times that it was open

Andrew: was the other place charles entertainment cheese’s

Gregory: damn bro rlly broke out his full government name

Evan: it was not called that originally, but yes

Fritz: wasn’t it like chuck e. cheese’s pizza time theater or smth like that

Evan: *theatre

Andrew: you literally just swapped two letters dude

*Edward was kicked from the chat*

Andrew: gabe wait a sec

*Sebastian was kicked from the chat*

*Andrew was kicked from the chat*

*Charles was kicked from the chat*

Jeremy: uh well that just happened

Fritz: dammit gabriel i was gonna make a charles entertainment cheese joke at charlie

Evan: just put it in the mci chat

Jeremy: i don’t think charlie’s in the mci chat

Fritz: she’s not, imma add her

Gabriel: we were going to be here for hours if i didn’t do something.

*chat name changed: boys’chat*

Fritz: dude that so fucking lame

Gabriel: serves its purpose, no?

Fritz: yeah sure whatever

Evan: you named our main chat ‘mci’. it’s just ‘missing childrens incident’. it doesn’t even specify which one it is

Fritz: its supposed to stand for ‘moon colony isolationators’

Jeremy: that’s… that’s not a word

Fritz: whatever you say, gaslighter

Jeremy: ignorant dunce

Gregory: ☝️🤓

Evan: my kindergarten teacher made me wear one of those dunce caps

Fritz: i basically owned that hat lmao

Jeremy: what the heck was wrong with your teachers?! that’s humiliating!

Fritz: I think we had the same one ‘cause there were only two kindergarten classes in our school and the other was super nice

Gabriel: cassidy’s calling me

Fritz: oh fuck

Gregory: tell her i said your welcome

Evan: for what? getting yourself in trouble again?

Gregory: 😬😔

Fritz: hey did we ever figure out what susie’s problem was

Jeremy: i think she just doesn't like you. i’ve noticed her glaring at you before

Fritz: that’s a weirdass way of getting that across

Evan: speaking of susie, i actually like her suggestion for the chat name

Jeremy: rock-afire explosion ripoffs?

Evan: its accurate, nostalgic, and gives a lovely middle finger to my father

Fritz: we should be the charles entertainment cheese bouncers

Jeremy: why the bouncers?

Fritz: cause chuck e. cheeses’ were where the mafia hung out n stuff. somebody’s gotta make sure the floor-crapping toddlers pay their due and our animatronics were practically killing machines with or without us

Gregory: jeremy that’s where i got the pissed-on faztokens from

Jeremy: you weren’t even born then

Gregory: bro chuck e. cheese still exists

Evan: you got faztokens from a chuck e. cheese?

Gregory: it all kinda blurs together sometimes

Gabriel: how about this: rock-afire explosion bouncers

Fritz: hmm…. i think i can get behind that

Evan: why not. it’s better than the mci chat name

Fritz: you don’t wanna be a moon colony isolationator? i can remove you

Evan: no, it’s fine. just very stupid.

Jeremy: it’s a good thing the girls aren’t on the chat anymore.

Gregory: they can still see the listing lol

*chat name changed: rock-afireexplosionbouncers*

Evan: that’s a bit of a mouthful to read

Fritz: i t ’ s p e r f e c t

Gregory: holy shit guys i just looked up this band and they’ve got a bear too

Jeremy: good ‘ole billy bob brockali

Fritz: i think you spelled that wrong, jear-bear

Gregory: nope, that’s exactly how you spell it lmao

Gabriel: alright now that we’ve got our chat name semi-figured out, let’s take a break, guys. we’ve been on here for almost an hour.

Gregory: who made you the screentime police? i’m no tablet kid

Evan: —the words of a technology addict

Gregory: at least i know how to screenshot something

Evan: -_-

Fritz: i’m gonna go see what the girls think of our new name

Gabriel: i’ll come with, assuming Cassidy isn’t planning on disowning me in the near-future

Jeremy: i think i’ll come, too. i don’t really have much going on

Fritz: reunited once again, jear-bear <3

Jeremy: that is seriously getting old

Evan: it got old a long time ago.

Gregory: shit, dad’s on my trail. byeeeeeeeeee

Evan: took him long enough.

*Gregory left the chat*

10:22am

Jeremy: where the heck are you guys?

Fritz: that direction

Jeremy: what direction?

Fritz: that one

Evan: we’re in the main atrium. fritz fuck off.

Gabriel: or what’s left of it

Jeremy: i’ll be there in a sec

Fritz: i’ll be waiting, darlin’

Jeremy: -_-

Chapter Text

Gabriel: *Shuffling cards*

Charlie: *Holding a stolen microphone from a storage room* We're here at the World Championship "Texas" Hold'em Poker. We're down to our final four now and the stakes have never been higher. No player is giving anything away; faces so still, they may as well be carved from stone.

Fritz: *Adjusting his semi-cracked glasses* [Alright, Fritz. You've got this and when you win, you can finally afford to buy that new pair of specs you need.]

Cassidy: *Staring around at her competitors* [They can't read you at all. You're a Sphinx. You are s m o o t h like the wind.]

Susie: *Awkwardly shuffling her cards* [I have... no idea how to play this game. I should have been out a long, long time ago but I keep w i n n i n g..?]

Jeremy: *Eyes closed* Breathe. [...ERRRRGGHH-HU, I CAN'T TAKE THE STRESS]

Gabriel: *Deals out the first three community cards*

Charlie: And starting with the flop, we've got the king and queen of spades and the ace of diamonds.

Fritz: [Nothing again?! I'm sick of waiting for a good hand. Time to bluff my way to victory!] *Moves Fazbear arcade tokens forward* 10,000.

Charlie: Oh my! Well, Fritz Campbell comes out swinging; what could possibly be going through everyone's heads right now..?

Cassidy: [AAAAAAAA-]

Jeremy: [WAAAAAA-]

Susie: *stares dreamily off into space* [...mmm, Sandwiches...]

Fritz: [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-]

Charlie: Nothing but calm calculation down there.

Cassidy: *Lips pressed together* [AAAAAAAA-]

Charlie: Let's see what they do.

Cassidy: Call. *Moves tokens forward* [Keep it together. You're calm. Like the wind.]

Susie: *Also moves tokens forward* Call. [What does call even mean...? I am literally just doing what the person before me does.]

Jeremy: *Eyes wide and staring straight forward* [Keep. It. Together, Je- Jeremy. Make the other Jeremys proud.] *Moves tokens forward* Call.

Gabriel: *Deals out the turn card*

Charlie: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a poker game on our hands! Now here comes the turn with the king of hearts.

Jeremy: *Eyes widen even more* [AAAAAAA-]

Fritz: [Okay, the bluff didn't work, time to bail.] *Glares down at his cards* [Erghhh... How can I just throw away 10,000 dollars?! No. I need this. Time to scare the children away.] *Moves tokens* 50,000.

Charlie: Oh my goodness! This is really heating up! But look at those faces--complete calm.

Cassidy: *Narrows eyes at Fritz* [YOU WANNA PLAY? YOU WANNA MESS WITH THIS?! I AM FIERCE. LIKE THE WIND!!] *Moves tokens forward* Call.

Susie: [Okay, she put in six red circles and two blue ones, so...] *Copies Cassidy* Call.

Jeremy: Call. *Stares at his cards* [What am I doing?! I have a two and a seven. ...That's not good.]

Gabriel: *Deals out the river and final community card* [Heh. They're all panicking.]

Charlie: And this is the river; looks like the king of diamonds! Oh my, could be a big game changer right there.

Jeremy: [AAAAAAAA-]

Fritz: *Stares hard at the other three* [NO!! JUST FOLD, YOU FOOLS!!!! I NEED THOSE G L A S S E S!!!!!] *Breathes in slowly before shoving all his tokens forward* All in.

Charlie: Hundreds of thousands of dollars are on the line! How do these players deal with the tension?

Cassidy: *Staring at the pot* [AH HAHAHAHAAAA! YOU WANNA DANCE, FRITZ?!! I'M ABOUT TO GET CA-RAZY UP IN HERE!! LIKE THE WIND!!!!!!] *Shoves all her tokens forward* All in. [THERE. YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T DO IT, DIDN'T YA?!!! LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES, YOU DIRTY COMMIE]

Fritz: *Eyes narrowed, glaring daggers at Cassidy*

Cassidy: *Glaring right back* [YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. IF I LOSE THIS TOURNAMENT, I'M GONNA FIND YOU AND BREAK YOUR KNEES. LIKE THE WIND.]

Susie: *Shoves all of her tokens forward* All in..? [Look at all those circles... I wonder what they mean...?]

Jeremy: [FOLD, JEREMY!! FOLD NOW AND CUT. YOUR. LOSSES!!!!] *Shoves his tokens forward* All in. [WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!]

Charlie: This is it! Now it's time to see which of these players walks away with a million dollars. Fritz will show first:

Fritz: *Flips his cards, staring hard at them*

Charlie: A six and seven. Hokay, looks like he was making a bluff that clearly backfired. Gotta wonder what he must be thinking right now

Fritz: *Staring at the floor* [I'm gonna have old people reading glasses.]

Charlie: Cassidy, to show next:

Cassidy: *Grinning internally while flipping over her cards*

Charlie: And she has a pair of queens, so full house for her! Great hand!

Cassidy: [I AM THE WINDDDDDDD]

Jeremy: *Staring wide-eyed into the void*

Charlie: Jeremy... still hasn't shown his cards. He's just sitting stone-faced. It seems as though-

Gabriel: *Whispers to Charlie*

Charlie: O- oh, wait, we're getting word from the dealer that- yes, okay. Jeremy is in fact dead (again?).

Fritz: *Pokes him curiously*

Charlie: And finally, Susie:

Susie: *Flips her cards whilst staring at a dead Jeremy beside her*

Charlie: Okay, it looks like Susie was somehow playing with Uno cards…?

Gabriel: *Coughs* [How'd she get- Oh, whatever.]

Susie: *Starts merrily pulling the tokens toward herself* Y a h t z e e