Chapter Text
Soon, the game of truth or dare fell away, no longer a necessary scaffold for honest conversation between them. Jack was surprised by how natural it felt to just be with Sam, without all of their self-imposed barriers in place.
They discussed hopes for the future, laughed about shared memories, and kept getting sidetracked by kissing and touching. It was the best Saturday night Jack had experienced in a long time.
In fact, it was the best night he’d had in a long time, full stop.
“If you could take a vacation to any planet, which one would you pick?” Sam asked while her fingers absently traced circular patterns on his bicep.
“A nice sunny one with a beach. Like what we thought Urgo’s planet was, but real. And if you happen to have a black bikini you want to wear…”
“It’s blue.”
“What?”
Jack could’ve sworn that she said–
“My swimming suit is blue,” she replied, nonchalantly, as if she didn’t know the effect those words would have on him.
Now all he could think about was Sam Carter in a blue bikini. Blue like her eyes and the endless ocean. Much better color choice as far as he was concerned. Although, she probably could have said any color and Jack would have decided it was the best color a bikini could possibly be. It would be, as long as she was wearing it. Hell, it could be a one piece and she’d still look gorgeous.
“We need to go to a beach as soon as possible,” he decided. They both had plenty of leave saved up. They could make it work.
Sam laughed and leaned close.
“Why do we need a beach? Don’t you have access to a cabin near a body of water?”
Jack could get used to her teasing him. Especially if the result was getting to see her barely clothed in one of his favorite places in the universe.
“Are you inviting yourself to my cabin, Carter?” he asked, unable to keep a grin from spreading across his face. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
“I did make a promise,” Sam reminded him. “I said I’d see it one day.”
It had been a long time since she said those words. He’d held onto them when he’d been at the cabin doing his best to get his head on straight after everything that happened with Ba’al.
“You did.”
Sam’s smile widened.
He noticed that she was playing with his fingers, smoothing the calloused pads of her fingertips up, over, and around each digit. She didn’t even seem to realize she was doing it. Somehow, the unintentional touch was as exhilarating as the intentional ones.
“Let’s go,” she said. “As soon as my transfer’s finalized.”
Jack liked that idea. It turned out there were a lot of benefits to this whole talking thing.
“Maybe we could go up early,” Sam continued, “just the two of us, and invite Daniel and Teal’c to come later. It would give the four of us a chance to relax together before I go to Nevada. One last hurrah for SG-1.”
“Works for me.”
They talked briefly about timing and logistics for the trip. He liked making plans for the future with her. It made it feel like they were a real couple.
Jack also liked the fact that she moved closer to him as they talked, her bent legs pressed against his thigh and her hand touching his arm every time she made a point.
After a few minutes of Sam cuddled up against his side, Jack remembered that he could be touching her too. His hand slipped under the hem of the sweatshirt she was wearing. Her speech faltered, briefly, at his touch.
Sam shot him a look that was more pleased than irritated, so he started caressing the small of her back. She kept talking and Jack enjoyed the freedom of touching her bare skin.
“So, what do you think?”
He blinked.
She was still looking at him, waiting for a response, when he cleared his throat. This was like when Daniel asked the question during the timeloop only much riskier. He could bluff or he could admit that he hadn’t been listening to her…even after their whole agreement to work on communication.
Jack decided to go with honesty.
“I was thinking that I like being able to touch you.” His hand continued to move across her skin in slow circles.
“You have no idea what I was asking about, do you?”
She didn’t look mad, which was a good sign.
“Not really,” he admitted. “But to be fair, we have been talking a long time and I was doing a really good job of listening until I got distracted.”
Jack really thought he should get some credit for how well he’d been listening and sharing up until this point. After years of sitting next to him at a briefing table, Sam knew how easily his attention could drift.
“You could just agree with me,” she suggested. “It’s in your best interests.”
Jack thought about it for a minute. He could just agree with whatever she’d been saying and it would probably be fine. He trusted her. Plus, he had years of experience agreeing with ideas she had that he didn’t fully understand.
“It’s not something that has national security implications, is it?”
He should rule that out before giving her an answer…just in case.
Sam shook her head. “No. Completely personal. Nothing to do with work.”
“Okay.”
He waited for her to elaborate, but she just stared at him, possibly in shock at his easy agreement. Jack kept caressing the smooth skin of her back, more than happy to focus on that until she started talking again.
It seemed like a great plan until all of the sudden she scooted away from him on the couch and tugged the hem of the sweatshirt down.
“I can’t focus when you do that.”
Jack smiled. “That’s the point.”
It was a boon to his ego to know that he could affect her like this. He was tempted to push things further…to close the distance between them and kiss the sensitive curve of her neck. He could probably entice her into spending some time making out on the couch, her body stretched over his. It was tempting, but it could wait.
“So what did I agree to, Carter?”
She hesitated before answering.
Sam’s uncertainty seemed to come in waves, overriding the natural confidence she had in other areas of her life. Jack knew they wouldn’t be able to get past all of their carefully constructed walls overnight, but he looked forward to the day when the past stopped holding them back.
“I thought, maybe, instead of driving straight through to the cabin, we could stop at that bed and breakfast in Iowa that you mentioned a couple years ago. We don’t have to, but I just…”
Her voice trailed off and Jack grinned. The comment he made about that B&B had been brief and unremarkable, which meant she remembered it for a reason.
“You have a list.”
It shouldn’t have been a surprising realization. After all, he had one too: a list of things he wanted to do with her. A list that had been merely a fantasy until tonight’s events gave it life.
“A list?”
“Yeah. A Jack O’Neill ‘To Do’ list.”
Sam blushed and Jack’s smile stretched wider.
“So…a romantic stay at a B&B’s on the list. Going fishing at the cabin, of course. Sex in front of my bathroom mirror was on there until we checked it off. What else?”
“It’s not like I have it written down.”
“Shocking,” he said. “You’re usually such a good notetaker.”
Jack took advantage of her laughter by reaching out and pulling her in his direction. They fell back on the couch, her body stretched over his.
He could feel the vibration of her giggles and soft exhales of breath against his neck. Jack slid his hands down the side of her body, stalling at her hips.
“You know, making out on the couch is on my list.”
That set her off on another peal of laughter. Jack didn’t mind the giggles so much now that he was allowed to like them.
Once she stopped laughing, Sam lifted her head to look at him.
“Your Sam Carter ‘To Do’ list?”
The way she said it sounded dirty and Jack didn’t have any problem with that.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “My Sam Carter ‘To Do’ list. It’s a very long list.”
She captured his lips and Jack’s focus narrowed to the feel of her against him.
This was exactly what he wanted: Sam’s body pressed against his as their lips met in leisurely exploration. After so much talking earlier, it was a relief to just lay here kissing her, without having to worry about finding the right words.
Her legs fell to either side of him and her hands pressed against the couch cushion under his head. She lifted herself up to change the angle of their kiss and as much as Jack missed the heat of her body against his, it was really doing it for him to have her take charge like this.
Jack let his hands trail up her back, under the fabric, before reversing to move down her body. He smoothed his hands over her ass and then moved down the back of her legs to her ankles.
All of this still felt like a dream, the best he’d ever had. He could kiss her and touch her anytime he wanted.
The sweatpants she had on were baggy and moved easily out of the way as his hands slid up her calf muscles. Fabric gathered around her knees, unable to move higher because she was kneeling on the cushion beneath them.
Jack brushed his fingers against the skin behind her knee and was surprised when Sam let out an uncharacteristic squeak and squirmed away from his hand.
“Are you ticklish?”
“No,” she insisted, despite evidence to the contrary.
“Okay.” He reached back towards her legs. “Then you won’t mind if I–”
Sam had his hands above his head, wrists in her grip before he could finish the sentence. He didn’t mind. The way she was leaning over him in that loose sweatshirt gave him a great view of her cleavage.
“I really think you’re going to want to give me my hands back,” Jack pointed out.
“No,” Sam replied.
Jack leaned up, nudged the gaping fabric out of the way, and set his lips to the upper curve of her breast. He kissed his way across the available skin and Sam helped him, leaning closer so he could reach more of her. They weren’t in a hurry. He could take his time, enjoying the sweet sounds she made.
Jack dipped his tongue into the valley between her breasts, prevented from going any further by the neckline of the sweatshirt.
Sam’s grip loosened as she sighed, but as soon as Jack tried to break free, she tightened her grasp on his wrists again.
“If you’re not going to let go,” he said, “at least lose the top.”
She almost fell for it, but then realized she’d have to release his arms to take the sweatshirt off.
“Nice try.”
Jack knew that he could break out of her grip if he really wanted to, but it was much more fun to try to convince Sam to let him go.
He stretched to kiss the sensitive underside of her jaw and the patch of skin behind her ear that made her catch her breath.
“Promise I’ll behave,” Jack said before tugging her earlobe between his lips and flicking it with his tongue.
Behave might have been an understatement, but he’d at least do his best to avoid tickling her.
“I doubt that,” Sam replied.
Jack couldn’t help but chuckle.
Sam shifted her position above him, his laughter turning into a groan as her pelvis rocked against his burgeoning erection.
“Is this on that list of yours?” Jack asked. “Having me at your mercy?”
Sam shook her head. “Probably should’ve been.”
She leaned down to kiss him. It was slow, sweet, and over way too soon.
He wanted to pull her back towards him and kiss her until they were both aching for breath. He wanted to caress every inch of her body.
“Release me, Carter.”
Sam’s playful grin only made him want her more.
“Why?” she asked.
Jack tested her grip. Looser, but she wasn’t letting go yet.
“I’m good with my hands,” he reminded her.
Sam’s eyes darkened. ”I know.”
He could seduce her, Jack realized, even with his hands restricted. She wanted to be seduced. She was practically begging for it.
“Where do you want me to touch you first, Sam?”
Jack wasn’t sure which reaction he liked better: her sharp intake of breath or the instinctual way she rocked slowly against his erection.
“Anywhere,” she whispered, still holding his wrists in a tight grip.
“That’s not very specific.”
Sam laughed before she leaned forward to kiss him. It was a brief, joyful kiss, even if Jack tried to coax her into more. They grinned at each other when they separated, basking in the newfound freedom of their relationship.
When they’d had sex earlier tonight, it had been hot…the fulfillment of a fantasy. But being with Sam now was something else.
It was fun.
“So many possible places to start,” Jack mused. His hands flexed at the thought of touching her. “Maybe I’ll start slowly…just run my thumb across your lips and think about how much I love kissing you.”
“Jack.” The desperate way his name dropped from her lips only encouraged him to continue.
“Or maybe you don’t want slow. I could just pull the sweatshirt over your head and touch all of that newly available skin.”
Her breath hitched as Jack rocked his lower body against her.
“There are so many ways I want to touch you. Years of fantasies to pull from.” He leaned up to whisper in her ear. “There are a hell of a lot of items on that Sam Carter ‘To Do’ List.”
Jack kissed the underside of her jaw before he let himself relax back against the couch. Sam’s eyes fluttered open and he was warmed by the heat in her gaze.
This started as a game, but the game was over.
“Let me touch you, Sam. Please.”
Jack could see the exact moment when she broke. Her tongue swiped along her lips and her grip tightened before she released him.
He reached for the bottom hem of her sweatshirt, but Sam beat him to the punch by pulling it over her head and tossing it to the floor in a single, fluid movement. Her hair was askew and her skin flushed as she straddled him, topless and smiling.
Jack might’ve fantasized about making out with Carter on his couch before, but his imagination had failed him because he never thought it would be this hot.
He reached up, brushing his thumb across her lips because her smile was like sunlight and he needed to touch the beam.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Sam brightened even further and reached down to caress the curve of his face.
“I shouldn’t have waited so long to let myself love you.”
Jack saw the shine of unshed tears in her eyes and his heart clenched. Years-worth of wasted and missed opportunities flashed through his mind, but they couldn’t think of that now.
“We can’t dwell on the past.”
“I know.”
“But we can make up for lost time.”
Sam nodded and leaned forward to kiss him.
It was an intimate moment, made more so when he felt a small splash of moisture on his cheek. He didn’t want her to cry, but he understood the release of tears. It felt like they’d finally made it to the end of a hard-won battle. Emotion swelled within him and Jack kissed her back the way he’d always wanted to: like a man in love.
He let his hands trail over her body, grateful to be able to touch her again. They’d fought so-called goddesses, but as far as Jack was concerned, Sam Carter was the only one who deserved that title. He wanted to worship her, body and soul.
Jack broke their kiss to trail his lips down her neck, enjoying every sigh and moan he caused on the way. Sam’s hands were in his hair, directing him where he already wanted to go.
He took his time: first nuzzling the upper curve of her breast, then letting his lips explore her cleavage, before finally taking her in his mouth. Sam’s soft curse made him pause and smile against her skin before he resumed movement of his tongue.
With one hand, Jack cupped her other breast, massaging it and circling her nipple to bring it to a tight peak. With the other, he held her tight against him, hand slipping under the fabric to grip her bare ass.
He wanted to touch and kiss and taste every part of her body. He wanted to watch her squirm with pleasure and breathlessly pant his name.
They had a hell of a lot of time to make up for and Jack was up for the challenge.
He had plans to take it slow. This would be their first time together after admitting how they felt and he didn’t want to rush.
But then Sam got impatient.
She moved his hands out of the way and stripped him of his t-shirt with ruthless efficiency before starting to tug on his sweatpants.
“Bedroom,” he gasped.
As much as he’d love to keep this going here, the condoms were in his nightstand. Really bad planning on his part. If he had known this was a possibility, he would’ve hid them all over the house.
“Uh huh,” Sam mumbled against his lips.
When she didn’t move, Jack grabbed the top of the couch and levered them up. They both groaned at the change in position.
He allowed himself a moment to enjoy the way her breasts felt pressed against his chest, the warm breeze of her shaky breath against his neck, and the pleasurable downward pressure her body was exerting on his erection.
When the moment was over, he spoke again. “Bedroom, Sam.”
“Uh huh,” she repeated. “Yeah.”
This time she climbed off of him and offered a hand to help him off the couch.
Jack wondered if the dazed look in her eyes was reflected in his own.
It could have been awkward making the long walk to the bedroom, both topless and wearing baggy sweatpants, but Sam kept shooting him these cute, sappy little smiles and that was all he could concentrate on.
When they got to the bedroom, he directed her to sit down on the bed. He tugged off the sweatpants she was wearing and took a moment to just look at her, sexy and naked on his bed.
“No underwear. Sweet.”
Sam laughed.
“My underwear got wet, remember?”
Jack liked that sweetly seductive tone in her voice. He leaned over, placing his hands on the bed bracketing her body.
“Oh, I remember.” He kissed the sensitive spot below her ear. “It got wet and then you got wet.”
She said his name on a sigh and Jack grinned against her skin.
“The real question is…”
Jack let his voice trail off as he kissed his way down her neck, teased her nipples with his tongue, and ran his hands up her thighs. He pushed her further onto the bed so he could kneel between her legs.
“...Are you wet now?”
This time, the way she said his name was closer to a moan. He rubbed his thumb against the crease at the top of her thigh and kissed the rounded curve of her abdomen right above where he knew she wanted him.
“Please,” Sam begged, opening her legs even wider.
“Well?” Jack drawled, slowly moving his thumb inches from where he was sure her opening glistened with moisture. “Are you?”
“You know I am,” Sam said, desperate and impatient. Jack felt a surge of pride that he could make her feel this way.
“Good,” he muttered, before leaning down to press his thumb to her clit and coat his tongue in the taste of her.
Sam was vocal in her pleasure as Jack relearned her preferences. Moans and sighs were punctuated with single word pleas.
“Yes…more…faster.”
One of her hands gripped his hair tight while the other was tangled in the bedsheets.
“Harder…fuck…please.”
Every flick of his tongue and stroke of his fingers brought her closer to orgasm.
“Jack…oh god.”
When she came, the sounds of her enjoyment reverberated through the room.
He kissed his way up her body while she caught her breath. Jack was still hard and aching, but he was too smug about what he’d done for her to worry about his own needs.
“Wow.”
Sam said the three-letter word like it was a revelation. She turned to him and brushed the sweaty hair back from his temple.
“Gotta give you a reason to keep me around,” he joked.
Instead of laughing, Sam frowned.
“I wish you could see how amazing you are.”
The statement caught him off guard. It was raw and honest, but Jack had never been good at accepting compliments. Most of the time, he didn’t think he deserved them.
“You sure you don’t have me confused with someone else?”
Sam shook her head at his deflection.
“You…” She paused, seemingly unable to find the right words. Her hand slid down to cradle the side of his face. “You give so much of yourself and you don’t ask for anything in return. I am so lucky to have you in my life.”
He didn’t know what to say, but Sam knew him enough to realize that. She leaned forward to kiss him.
“You’re brave,” she whispered when she pulled away.
“Sam.”
She ignored him and kissed the underside of his jaw. “You’re honorable.”
Then she kissed the curve of his neck. “You’re sexy.”
She kissed his temple. “You’re smart.”
She kissed below his ear. “You make me laugh.”
Every compliment hit him with the force of a bullet and it felt like his heart was going to burst.
Sam kissed the corner of his lips. “And I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone.”
He did his best to ignore the tears gathering in his eyes.
“You were always the first choice, Jack.”
She pulled him towards her while her words were still sinking in and deepened the kiss while he adjusted to the shock. Sam, for some reason, thought he was amazing. She didn’t just love him. She loved him more than she thought she could love anyone.
Sam rolled onto her back and pulled him with her so that his body pressed her into the mattress.
“Lose the sweatpants.”
Jack had forgotten he was even wearing them.
“You’re amazing too.”
Sam laughed and the leftover tension from their serious conversation dissipated. Everything felt right again.
Jack pulled off the sweatpants and tossed them to the floor. He reached in the nightstand before returning to the bed, grabbing a foil wrapper.
Sam welcomed him back with open arms and searching lips. He reveled in the feel of her body beneath his.
A brief, random thought occurred to him: What if Sam had never come to his house tonight? What if they hadn’t pushed through the arguments and the misunderstandings to make it here?
The possibility was unbearable.
“Sam…”
What he felt for her at that moment was too large, and too important, to be put into words.
She looked up at him, blue eyes full of affection and acceptance.
“I know,” she said. Those two words spoke of missed opportunities, inside jokes, and unconditional love. “Show me.”
She placed the foil wrapper in his hand.
Jack put the condom on and slowly slid into her.
Damn, she felt good.
Sam shifted underneath him and he moved deeper into her warm body. The sigh that she let out was one of the sexiest things he’d ever heard. He nuzzled his face against her neck and kissed her bare skin.
“For future reference,” she said, her breathy voice ruffling his hair, “I’m not against relying on a single type of birth control for long-term, committed relationships. If you wanted—”
“Carter,” Jack ground out, “can we have this conversation some other time?”
“Oh.” Sam’s eyes focused and she remembered exactly what position they were in. Her inner muscles clenched around him and Jack groaned. “Yes.”
“Love you,” he panted before he started to move. If sex with her felt this incredible now, he could only imagine how it would feel in the future without any barrier between them.
He heard her repeat the sentiment in a passionate whisper before she began to move with him. Her hands gripped the tense muscles of his back while her legs curled around his.
He came so close to losing her. Jack wished he could blame the job, but he’d been held back by his own insecurities more than rules and regulations.
She was everything to him.
And until tonight, he’d doubted she still felt anything beyond friendship for him.
Those doubts couldn’t survive in the face of living, breathing, moaning evidence to the contrary.
In every movement of her body against his and every whisper of his name, Jack could feel her love for him. He realized that her feelings for him hadn’t been absent these past couple of years. They’d been in hiding. The full force of that knowledge felt like the sun breaking through the clouds after countless dreary days.
“Jack,” she sighed, gripping the curve of his neck. “Kiss me.”
His lips met hers in a passionate embrace as their movements got more frantic, racing towards climax.
Jack reached down to touch her, determined to push her over the edge before he lost his own control.
It didn’t take much. Sam broke their kiss, her head arching back as she cried out.
The aftershocks of her orgasm set his off like the toppling of a domino, and Jack groaned into the tousled locks of her hair as he came.
They lay there, entangled, until Jack’s breathing returned to normal. He lifted his head up to look at her, still a little in awe of the fact that they were together right now.
Sam’s eyes fluttered open and a satisfied smile stretched across her face. Jack wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen her look more relaxed.
“I’m so glad I came over here tonight.”
“Me too,” Jack replied. “Try to avoid walking four miles in a storm next time, though. Don’t want you freezing your ass off.”
She laughed and gave him a sassy, “Yes, sir” in reply.
For the first time in a long time, that three letter honorific didn’t pain him. It felt like an inside joke instead. Jack liked it better that way.
After they took turns in the bathroom, the two of them settled in under the covers. Sam turned on her side, facing him, and draped her arm across his chest. He reached up to hold her hand, needing the contact.
Jack was exhausted. His nights usually involved a cold beer and whatever was playing on ESPN. Not lengthy emotional conversations, amazing sex, and a figuring out a new relationship with the woman he loved. The past several hours had been emotionally and physically demanding. In a good way, obviously, but Jack knew that he was going to sleep well.
He had just started to drift off when Sam spoke.
“So…you liked the Bed and Breakfast idea?”
“What?” It took Jack a second to remember what they’d been discussing in the living room before they got carried away. “Oh, yeah…I like any idea that includes you and a bed.”
The comment earned him a quick, affectionate kiss.
“Same,” she replied before cuddling back up against his side.
Lying in bed with her, both of their hands moving in gentle caresses over each other’s skin, was almost perfect. Jack had spent a lot of time over the years daydreaming about these comfortable, quiet moments they could have together. He just wished he wasn’t her commanding officer right now. He didn’t want any part of this to be wrong when it felt so right.
“I’m going to sign your transfer paperwork as soon as you send it over.”
As much as he appreciated that Sam was willing to break the rules for him, he didn’t want her to be in that ethical gray area for long. It wasn’t fair to her. He didn’t want this relationship to start off with secrets and lies.
“No work talk for an hour,” Sam said. “You have a rule, remember?”
He didn’t even mind that she was teasing him.
“No work talk,” Jack agreed, running his fingers through her soft hair. “It’s a good rule.”
He thought about letting it go, but he couldn’t.
“I just don’t want it to bring you down…tarnish your sense of honor.”
“What?” Sam asked, lifting her head to see his response.
“The technicalities. The regulations.” He waved his free hand vaguely in the air. “All that bureaucratic bullshit that kept us apart for years.”
Sam made a quiet, thoughtful humming noise.
“What?”
“You’re sweet.”
“I’m not sweet.”
She smiled.
“I’m not,” he reiterated.
Jack couldn’t remember the last time anyone had attempted to call him sweet.
“You don’t need to protect me,” Sam continued. “You have for years in all the ways that matter and this doesn’t. It is bullshit. You can rush the paperwork if you want - it’ll mean I’m that much closer to being able to hold your hand in public - but it doesn’t matter to me the same way it used to.”
Sam’s hand reached for his temple and she ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy her touch for a minute before asking a follow-up question.
“Why?”
Sam sighed and let her hand drift down to his chest. Jack waited while she gathered her words.
“When I first came to the SGC, I felt like I needed to prove myself. I was used to people not taking me seriously because I was a woman and I was young. I wasn’t allowed to go on the first trip to Abydos. I’d just gotten out of a relationship that messed with my head. But more than all that, I knew that any mistakes I made would make it that much more difficult for the women who came after me. I wasn’t the type of woman who would even consider getting involved with her commanding officer. I was mortified when I realized I’d jumped you in the locker room after that mission to P3X-797.”
“I didn’t mind it much,” Jack said. “Which reminds me, if you still have that tank top around somewhere…”
Sam rolled her eyes at him, but she also relaxed, which was the important part.
“This isn’t some fleeting affair that threatens unit cohesion and no one’s going to find out if we fudge the timeline of our relationship,” she continued. “Some people probably think we’ve been together for years. It doesn’t matter. We’ve saved the world, we’ve lost good people, and we deserve to be happy.”
After so much time spent thinking of their feelings as a complication, it really was that simple. Life was hard and they deserved to be happy.
“You make me happy,” Jack said, pulling her towards him for a kiss.
Years ago, he doubted that he’d ever feel this way again. It wasn’t in the cards for him after losing his Charlie and getting divorced from Sara. Then he started to heal and started to hope, but Sam got into a serious relationship and all those dreams fell apart.
Jack never thought he would get this second chance, but he planned to make the most of it.
The kiss ended and Sam lifted her head. He loved how disheveled she looked, with ruffled hair and reddened lips. She was always so proper at work that it felt like a gift to see her casual and satisfied.
Sam touched the corner of his lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much.”
He didn’t even realize he’d been grinning until she mentioned it.
“Don’t tell anyone,” Jack whispered. “It’ll ruin my reputation.”