Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything was going exactly to plan. Ryoba smothered down her excited giggle as that disgusting girl came into the bathroom, head bowed shyly with clasped hands hanging low.

“Who would want to talk to me in a place like this?” Sumire wondered aloud.

She grinned wickedly, recognizing her having a point. Maybe a bathroom was an odd place to meet, but her emotions were running high when she made the snap decision. Besides, cleanup would be easier, and the girl wouldn’t be able to care where she was for much longer anyway. Gently pushing the stall door open so it would creak, she stepped out and stood right behind her target facing the wall. Somehow she hadn’t noticed the scare tactic. “Ahem.”

“Oh!” she gasped, clutching her heart as she whirled around. “Oh, Ryoba-chan!” she sighed in relief. Her hand dropped back to her side at the familiar face. “Are you the one who left that note in my locker? What did you want to talk to me about?”

Hook, line, and sinker. “I need to tell you something about -“

“Wait!” Sumire so rudely interrupted. “I’m sorry, Ryoba-chan. I wanted to be able to say something first, if I know what this is about. I think I do.” She refused to meet her eyes the whole time she spoke such brave words to her face, cheeks flushing slightly. Her legs bounced and shifted in place as she held her elbows tightly.

Ryoba almost let the surprise show on her face, but immediately schooled her features to remain in a non-threatening half-smile as usual. “Oh? You already know what I’m talking about?” The venom dripping from her tone was masked poorly, hissing out from between her teeth. “Continue.”

She either didn’t notice or pretended not to notice that it was a command, not a suggestion. In fact, she raised her head a bit higher. “I saw you watching me for a while now,” she admitted. “Just barely, but I know it was you.”

Dammit, dammit, dammit. She had been positive she was so careful and remained undetected. Inexperience wasn’t a good enough excuse in her mind, even though she never stalked a rival before now. What if this ruined everything? She clenched the knife in her skirt in the fist behind her back. Anchor yourself, Ryoba, her mind ordered. You can make her pay even more now. None of it showed on her face as she nodded once. “I was, yes. Why do you believe that is?”

Sumire flushed an even darker shade against her pale skin, and her throat wobbled as she swallowed. “Ryoba-chan, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. You’re really nice and all, but I don’t know.”

She didn’t know? Ryoba grinned even wider, showing off her predatory teeth. “But you don’t know what, hmm? Why would you want to hurt my feelings?”

“I don’t want to hurt them,” she corrected, “but I don’t know if I’m like…that. Um, like you. I haven’t given it much thought before.” She shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. “But I do like you because you’re a good person and you are pretty! I just don’t know if I like girls like that, you understand?”

Her fake expression slid right off her face, showing her confusion first, then dawning horror. Oh no, how had she messed it up this badly? The voice in her head that resembled Mother’s was growing louder and louder. Failure. You did it badly. Look at what you’ve made. “I,” she squeaked. ‘I didn’t mean to,’ she tried to say. It died on her frozen tongue. “I didn’t,” she tried again.

“I’m sorry, really! I know you didn’t want me to find out, it’s really okay! I’m not mad or disgusted about it.” Sumire lunged forward, grabbing her hands. “I don’t care if someone is like that, I just -“

Clang.

Ryoba’s eyes slowly lowered to the tile, finding the knife yanked out of her fist clattering on the floor one more time before lying still. The glint of the blade seemed to mock her, winking up cheekily. She exhaled, struggling to open her mouth. “Sorry,” she whispered, then shouted as the girl took a shaky step back. “Wait! I was returning it to Home Economics, I swear! Someone left it in the Cooking Club by mistake!”

“Were you…going to hurt me if I rejected you?” Sumire asked slowly.

“No, I could never hurt you!” She brought forth her convincing acting abilities to tear up and blush darkly. “I’m telling the truth! I couldn’t never hurt someone that I lo…” She, of course, had trailed off there purposefully. Hell, maybe she could join the Drama Club this year if she got through the current situation. Her eyes were half-lidded, showing total infatuation (lust?) in her words before they widened at her false slip of the tongue. They still glittered beautifully from unshed tears.

It worked. Sumire’s demeanor changed back to frantically apologizing, waving her hands in front of her dramatically. “That’s not what I meant, I’m so sorry! It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just kind of don’t know you that well? No offense! I’m not saying I don’t want to know you! I’m not against um, people like you! It’s rude when people are, you know?”

Ryoba wasn’t listening to her groveling. On the contrary, she tuned her out so she could celebrate in her head. She hadn’t messed anything up after all. It hadn’t gone all according to plan, but she could work with it. “You mean it?” She tried her best to speak shyly.

“Oh, this is embarrassing!” She pursed her lips, gathering courage. “I - I like this boy, Jokichi? So I haven’t been thinking about…girls? I think? But when I saw how you looked at me, I didn’t hate it. Gah, I can’t believe I told you about him! Please don’t tell, it’s our secret!” The poor redhead looked like she was about to explode where she stood, turning her back to her. Foolish.

“Oh, Jokichi? He’s cute.” She slowly picked up the knife. Thinking of her beloved Senpai made her bashful act much more realistic. “I’ll tell you a secret, too. I’m this Western thing called bisexual, so I like boys and girls. Keep this between us and I’ll keep your secret, deal?” She drew her arm back and forth, practicing her blade swings as she slowly brought her other hand to clamp over her mouth.

Sumire suddenly began to turn around, forcing the yandere to pull her hands back. “Oh, I’ve heard of that! I think it’s kind of nice, you know? You’ll always be able to find someone that way!” She rubbed the back of her head. “I’m not being offensive, am I? I don’t know a lot about these things. You can teach me, though! Want to be friends at the very least?” she offered.

What? Ryoba tilted her head as she thought carefully. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, her mind helpfully supplied. Use her to get to Senpai. Once she is no longer useful, just dispose of her like you originally planned. “Alright,” she agreed. “I will not make you purposefully uncomfortable with my…feelings. It means a lot to me to have your friendship.” It sounded more artificial than she had intended. More sincerity next time, sure.

She smiled, one of pure gratitude. “You’re so kind, Ryoba-chan! I need to get going, but maybe we can exchange numbers next week? I don’t have paper on me right now.”

“Next week is perfect,” she laughed, finally sincere. “I hope you have a great weekend, Sumire-chan.”

Ryoba yanked away and speedwalked out of the bathroom before Sumire could get another word out. Angry, she was angry that her first plan hadn’t worked. It wasn’t good enough if she needed a backup plan. Disappointment was another emotion she hated. Love is pain, she remembered, to feel love you must also feel other emotions. Some are good, some are bad. This is love. Love is to hurt.

Love wasn’t her father, though. The first time she ever felt pity was for her mindbroken father. He was a shell of whatever he used to be before meeting his wife, withering away obediently under her watchful gaze. Ryoba didn’t want to mindbreak her Senpai. There had to be another way, even if Mother considered it tedious and not as effective. Pity was the third emotion she hated feeling.

Why had she felt it at some point in her chat with Sumire?

Chapter Text

The day’s events seemed to prevent Sumire from spilling her heart out to Senpai, which was a silver lining. However, Ryoba needed more than just a silver lining to feel proud of her efforts. She was lying on her bed and staring up at the ceiling, contemplating her emotions. To this day she had only felt three major things: love, rage, and pity. Love was for her Senpai, rage was for Sumire trying to take Senpai, and pity was for her mindbroken father. She was curious as to how her mother was able to break her father down, but was too afraid to ask (she was not afraid). She knew she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to do the same, and it wasn’t like she’d have to. Senpai would love her for real.

“Sumire Saitozaki,” she hissed like the name was a swear word. The stupid girl thought she had some lesbian crush on her, seriously. Her mother would react poorly if she knew she messed everything up that badly. She knew Mother didn’t care if her Senpai was a boy or a girl, having had said conversation before. Something about the heart wanting whatever the heart wants, no matter the gender. It was alright, and love would keep you together.

Unless it wasn’t enough.

There were horror stories in Ryoba’s childhood of ancestors being caught for getting their Senpais, executed for what everyone else (normal people) thought of as crimes. Even worse were the women who never met their Senpais and died all alone. To never experience love was the worst of the two, obviously, so meeting Senpai had made her extremely happy. She needed to be careful to not be caught in this process, and realistically it would be best for her to do it all peacefully. The problem was she didn’t want it like that, because she wanted to hurt people. That’s what horrid girls after Senpai deserved, and who else but her to punish them for it? She needed to do this.

Ryoba swallowed, glancing over at her shrine dedicated to Senpai. She could do it for him and pretend not to know how much he wouldn’t want her to do this. Senpai was a better person than her. Sumire was a better person than her. In the back of her mind she acknowledged how fitting they seemed to be for each other, then smashed it down angrily. “He’s MINE!” she roared up into empty air. No one called back. Mother didn’t bother caring, and Father probably couldn’t. Sometimes she felt like they didn’t love her as much as they should love the product of their true love. Senpai could fill that gap, surely. It was insulting that Sumire even thought she could do that for her.

Sighing, she rolled onto her other side to avoid the Senpai shrine. Why should she even care? Mother told her to hide her weak emotions (fear) once she felt them, only showing the good ones at appropriate times. How disappointed would she be if she knew Ryoba was feeling this way?

“Dammit.” Ryoba sat up, eyes searching the darkness. She shuffled out of bed and over to the shrine, picking up the photo of Senpai she kept at the top. Sighing again - but this time with happiness - her fingers traced the smooth glass. “My beautiful Senpai.” She smiled, shivering from the glass catching on her skin for nanoseconds before continuing to slide away from them. “Don’t worry, I can think of a use for little Sumire. This all won’t be in vain. You trust me, don’t you?” Her nails slowly pressed against the surface. “You trust me with your whole life?” Screeeeeech. “Don’t you trust me?”

Huh.

She shook her head, examining the scratches she’d made in the glass. At least they weren’t on Senpai’s beautiful face. She put the picture back and fell into her bed. She was losing it a bit, wasn’t she? It would be fine after a good night’s sleep. She could dream of Senpai and clearly devise a plan all weekend until she was back to normal. Perfect.

Chapter Text

Kaguya Wakaizumi.

The pink-haired bubbly girl was cute, kind, and currently in Ryoba’s way. She woke up that Monday morning with a new purpose, which was to eliminate the girl as quickly as possible. She had it all planned out too, she would make Senpai hate her so much that he would reject any advances towards him. As soon as she was dressed in her uniform, she practically skipped out of her room to get the day started. Stopping in front of her younger sister’s door, she greeted her brightly. “Good morning, sister!”

“Five more minutes,” her sister groaned from the other side of her door.

She giggled. “Rise and shine, dear sister! You don’t want to be late for school, do you?”

“I’m not going to school today.”

“What? You aren’t? Why not?” Ryoba knocked on the door once. “Hey, sis?”

“I don’t feel like it,” she replied plainly.

“You’ve been skipping school a lot recently, sister. It’s not healthy to isolate yourself from society.” How else would she find her Senpai like she had?

“Whatever, just leave me alone.”

“Alright. But if you want to talk, I’m just a few steps away, okay? Sis? Hello?” No reply. “Oh, sister.” Ryoba slid down the door and sat on the ground, thinking things over. Raising her little sister had been left up to her with her absent parents, and it was so hard trying to do it sometimes. The thought of Senpai sometimes helped, but his handsome face wasn’t working much wonders for her today. Feeling like she was getting off to a bad start, she walked downstairs and looked to her mother and father sitting on the sofa. “Good morning, mom!”

“What do you want?” Her mother didn’t even look up from her book.

“Nothing, I was just saying -“

“If you’re hungry, go bother your grandmother.”

“No, I’m -“

“Ugh! Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it. Can’t you see that your father and I are busy? Hurry up and scurry off to school or something, you and your sister are just impossible.”

Impossible, huh? For existing? Ryoba grit her teeth, her mood souring even further than it already had. Lazy, delusional, mean, all those words described her mother. Her father didn’t even answer, just looking down at his cupped hands solemnly. Did he even know she was there? Did he even know where he himself was? She ignored her grandmother’s pitying look and just walked out the door, heading to school. She followed her Senpai the whole way and quickly ducked behind a tree to watch him interact with Kaguya, where she learned she would have to sabotage a bento she had lovingly made for him. Disgusting.

“Ryoba-chan?”

Ryoba jumped, luckily having stopped eavesdropping a moment before. Turning around, she came face-to-face with her new fake crush. “Sumire-chan!” she announced faux brightly. “How are you this morning?”

“I’m good.” Sumire bit her lip, averting her eyes to the ground. “Will you walk with me?”

Walk with her? She paused, weighing her options. She really needed to hurry and break into the gardening shed to retrieve rat poison for the bento, or else the Gardening Club president would get there first and make her job of picking the lock harder. Perhaps she could steal the keys off of him when his back was turned? Either way, if she refused the redhead’s request, it would look suspicious on her part. She needed to keep up the façade of having an embarassing crush on her for now.

“Ryoba-chan?” Sumire prompted gently.

Ryoba finally nodded, smiling back shyly. “I’d like very much to walk with you.” The two girls set off, entering the school and separating briefly to change into the appropriate shoes. “You said your day has been good so far?”

She seemed to brighten at this. “Very much so! What about yours?”

Terrible. “Great!” Between her home life and this whole Senpai dilemma, of course. You’re blowing this, her mind helpfully supplied. You’re doing it all wrong. Mother and your grandmother would be so disappointed in you. “I’m sorry if my…confession has made things weird between us.”

Sumire blushed, a look that could almost be interpreted as endearing or cute to someone who didn’t know any better. “I’ve been thinking a lot about it,” she admitted. “Walk this way with me.” Changing course, she looped around so they were eventually heading for the Zen Gardens. “It’s kept me up at night, I’m afraid. Wondering who and what I am, ever since you told me your secret. We didn’t have a way to talk, so I couldn’t tell you my decision sooner.” The two young women sat next to each other on the bench. “I’d like to get to know you better first, if you don’t mind.”

Well, this wasn’t what she had expected. “I understand.” Ryoba looked at her seriously. “I um, appreciate you giving me this chance.”

“You’re very beautiful, Ryoba-chan. You know that?” She tilted her head, hair framing her face and a strand flitting over her nose a bit.

What?

“Really?” She never had anyone say that to her before in that context, and she always expected to hear it from Jokichi first instead of from another girl’s lips. Something throbbed in her chest, threatening to move higher and choke her. As suddenly as it came it was gone, and she was left looking completely lost.

Sumire was visibly confused, either from the single-worded question spoken or the expression on her face. “Of course! You’re amazing, I’m just still trying to process it all. Are you feeling alright?”

Was she? Ryoba was having a bit of trouble thinking clearly, for a moment the fitting and attractive name of Jokichi leaving her mind. Who? “Yes.”