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Xue Yang had a list of regulars and their orders in his head. Some of them were derogatory, like the lady who always complained that her drink wasn’t hot enough even though he legally couldn’t make it any hotter. He’d thought about making it hot enough for a lawsuit but decided he liked his job, actually.
And then there were the customers he liked, the ones he remembered by name. First was Song Lan, who came in sometimes before his shifts at the tattoo shop down the street. He usually just ordered an americano, but if he was feeling festive he’d sometimes get a cappuccino. He’d started coming in the winter, in the like three weeks in Orlando when it was cold, so he was wearing a hoodie and Xue Yang couldn’t see any of his tattoos. Without them he looked so normie, it threw Xue Yang off his game the first time he saw him with a tank top revealing his tattoo sleeves. The arm holes were cut low enough that Xue Yang could see part of a tattoo on his ribcage too and he really wanted to know what it all looked like.
The other was Xiao Xingchen, angel in human form, the prettiest boy Xue Yang had ever seen in his life. He always ordered an iced peach tea, and at first Xue Yang had no idea why he didn’t go to the significantly better Thai tea shop a couple miles away, but then he discovered that Xiao Xingchen worked at the flower shop just two buildings down and it was easy for him to pop by on a break. He always tipped, and he laughed at Xue Yang’s stupid jokes.
Okay, maybe Xue Yang more than liked both of them.
He liked them so much that he was sulking about it being Song Lan’s day off, and Xiao Xingchen had only been able to pop by for about 30 seconds. Apparently someone had called out sick. Xue Yang was so busy staring dejectedly at the sample cake pops on the counter that he didn’t notice Meng Yao until he was right in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” Xue Yang blurted out. Meng Yao usually wouldn’t be caught dead in a chain shop like this. He was too much of a snob. He wouldn’t call himself that, he would just say he had high standards, but he was fully just a snob.
Meng Yao sighed and took off his sunglasses.
“You haven’t answered any of my texts. Give me an oat milk latte. When’s your shift over?” he asked.
“In like two minutes,” Xue Yang said, punching in the order.
“Great. Bring it to me outside,” he said, and he handed Xue Yang a $10 bill and walked back outside.
“I’m not your servant,” Xue Yang yelled towards his back, but he rung it up anyway and threw the change into the tip jar.
Meng Yao was looking at his phone when he got outside, so he nudged him to get his attention and handed him the coffee.
“Thanks,” Meng Yao said, taking it and pocketing his phone. “Where have you been?”
“Here,” Xue Yang said, shrugging.
“You still haven’t RSVPed to the wedding,” Meng Yao said.
“I’m invited?” Xue Yang asked, genuinely surprised. Sure, he was invited to the bachelor party, because he was fun. But he was in no way involved in the wedding party despite being Meng Yao’s oldest friend. Meng Yao had very bluntly told him that he couldn’t be trusted with any responsibility on a day that needed to be perfect. Fine with Xue Yang anyway. He didn’t want to be in charge of shit, especially not important shit.
“I sent you an invitation months ago,” Meng Yao said.
“Oh, I thought that was, like, a courtesy,” Xue Yang said.
Meng Yao sighed, which Xue Yang thought wasn’t very generous, considering that Meng Yao did a whole lot of things just to be polite instead of because he actually wanted to do them.
“Are you coming to the wedding or not? And are you bringing a plus one? he asked.
“Who would I even bring?” Xue Yang asked.
“I don’t know, Xue Yang. How about one of the customers you’re in flirtatious purgatory with,” Meng Yao said.
“It’s not purgatory,” Xue Yang said, though he had thought about 20 times about asking either Song Lan or Xiao Xingchen out. He’d flirted a whole lot, but flirting was different. He had no idea how either of them would respond to being asked out, which is what kept him from doing it. Like maybe Xiao Xingchen was just really, really nice to service workers and if he got hit on he would be uncomfortable and ghost and Xue Yang would never see him again. And Song Lan was an enigma, Xue Yang could not figure that guy out. “Isn’t asking somebody out at work harassment or something?”
“So come alone, then,” Meng Yao said, looking more disgruntled by the second. It would be scary if he didn’t kind of look like a kitten.
“Come to a Jin wedding alone? Who the fuck am I gonna talk to, your racist cousin? Your boring as shit brother?” Xue Yang said.
“You’re exhausting. I’m putting you down with a plus one. Bring whoever you want, just make sure they’re presentable. Catering is all vegetarian, but let me know if they have a gluten allergy or something,” Meng Yao said.
“Hey, what if I’m the one who doesn’t wanna go to your wedding?” Xue Yang asked, even though, like, theoretically he would like to be there? Probably? Did he? He absolutely wanted to be at the bachelor party, but since he’d assumed he wasn’t invited to the real shindig, he hadn’t put much thought into it.
Meng Yao put his hand on Xue Yang’s shoulder and looked at him with a sincerity he rarely showed anyone else.
“A-Yang, you’re my only real friend. If you miss my wedding and leave me alone with my father and Lan Xichen’s uncle, I will have you murdered,” he said.
Xue Yang had known Meng Yao for a long time, so he didn’t need to be told that wasn’t a joke.
“Jesus, gross, your dad’s actually gonna be there?” Xue Yang said, making a face. He hated that guy. He’d kind of assumed he wouldn’t be bothered to come.
“It’s complicated,” Meng Yao said, with the air of someone who had a permanent ocular migraine. “Do you have a suit? I will not have you show up in ripped jeans and a Metallica t-shirt.”
Xue Yang looked down at himself. He didn’t think he looked bad enough to require that kind of an inflection.
“Where do you buy a suit? The mall?” Xue Yang asked.
Meng Yao looked like he wanted to push him in front of a passing bus.
“Find a well dressed boyfriend and ask him. I have to go. Please show up on time and please try to keep up with your texts,” Meng Yao said.
“Kay,” Xue Yang said, knowing he absolutely would not do the latter, but he could probably do the former. He did show up on time for work most days even when he had to be there at ass o’clock. He could probably make it to a wedding on time. “Tell your fiance hi and I’m still up for a threesome if you two are down.”
“I’m not telling him that,” Meng Yao said, marching off to his car, sunglasses back on, without a backwards look at Xue Yang.
You could probably get a suit at the mall, right?
When Xiao Xingchen came in the next day for his drink, it wasn’t very busy.
“Sup. The usual?” Xue Yang said, already punching it in.
“Of course,” Xiao Xingchen said, smiling at him. His credit card was already out, but Xue Yang waved him away.
“You don’t have to do that,” Xiao Xingchen said, just like he said every time.
“I dunno know what you mean,” Xue Yang said, putting in an order for himself too. “It’ll be up in a minute.”
“Thank you,” Xiao Xingchen said, putting a few dollars in the tip jar, like he always did. He went to sit down in corner. He was on his afternoon break, so he always took his time. If he came in before work, he grabbed it to go, but if he was there for a midday pickup, he usually sat down for a few minutes.
Xue Yang made their drinks and started out to the corner table where Xiao Xingchen was sitting.
“I’m taking my break,” he called back. He could practically feel the eye rolling from his coworker, but he didn’t care. As if she didn’t also have a crush on the girl with pink hair who came in to study on Sunday nights.
He only had a few minutes, so he already had the straw in his mouth when he handed Xiao Xingchen his drink and sat down. It was a thing to make everybody try the monstrosities you invented in the back, and no one else liked this one. Too sweet, they said. No such thing, Xue Yang replied.
“Hey, so I have kind of a weird question for you,” Xue Yang said, and he hated so much that his heart rate went up when he said it. What the fuck was he, 12 years old with his first crush?
“I love weird questions,” Xiao Xingchen said, and he really had no right to look like that and to smile like that.
“So my best friend is getting married next Saturday and I don’t have anyone to go with. If I don’t find someone I’m gonna be stuck talking to his shitty cousin and probably get kicked out for punching him. So are you busy? Do you wanna crash a wedding with me?” Xue Yang asked. He had probably explained too much. But Xiao Xingchen was smiling at him, amused.
“Saturday the 19th?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Xue Yang said.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Xiao Xingchen said, his face falling a little. “Unfortunately, I’m working that day. I have a really big order for a big client, so I don’t think I’ll be able to get away all day.”
“Oh,” Xue Yang said, deflating a little bit. He tried to recover. “No worries, I get it. Make that money.”
Xiao Xingchen smiled softly at him.
“The answer would have been yes otherwise,” he said.
“Oh,” Xue Yang said, pretending his heart hadn’t just jumped into his throat. “Cool.”
“Maybe once the wedding is over with, we can go out sometime,” Xiao Xingchen said. “Unless you find a date you like better than me, of course.”
“Impossible,” Xue Yang said automatically. “I mean. Yeah. After. Which means maybe I should have your number.”
“Of course you should,” Xiao Xingchen said, pulling out his phone so they could exchange numbers.
Okay. So he was still dateless and didn’t have anything to wear to the wedding, but he couldn’t be mad at this outcome.
Song Lan came in the next afternoon before his shift, like he usually did. Xue Yang had already used up his break and there were a lot of people waiting in line, so he didn’t have an excuse to stop. So when he handed him his coffee, he decided to shoot his shot.
“Hey. Random question. My best friend’s getting married and I don’t have a date. Do you wanna come with me?” Xue Yang asked, leaning over the counter.
Song Lan blinked at him. He’d messed up the script. Song Lan had gotten very good at the script and had even started to respond to Xue Yang’s teasing and flirting, but this was a totally different thing, so he had to take a second to process. For a moment, Xue Yang was sure he’d give him a bewildered no and leave the coffee shop forever, never to return. This had been a little bit easier with Xiao Xingchen. Why? Maybe because he and Song Lan had never actually really talked? It was sort of a silent understanding most of the time? Well, not silent, because Xue Yang was never silent, but Song Lan was.
“You want me to come with you to a wedding?” Song Lan asked slowly.
“Yeah. I mean, if you want to,” Xue Yang said.
“When is it?”
“Saturday the 19th.”
Song Lan thought for another moment, looking like he was really considering the question, then he nodded.
“I can make that,” he said.
“You can?” Xue Yang asked, straightening up and nearly knocking over the container of straws.
“Yeah. Is it really formal? I still have the tux I wore to my cousin’s wedding last year,” Song Lan said.
“Yeah. That’d be perfect. Yeah,” Xue Yang said. With all his tattoos covered up, he had strong accountant vibes. Surely Meng Yao couldn’t possibly disapprove of that.
“Okay,” Song Lan said.
And just like that, Xue Yang had a respectable date to his best friend’s wedding after all.
“I think this one would look nice on you,” Qin Su said, holding up a suit jacket against her body.
Xue Yang cocked his head to the side and stared at it. She was a little smaller than him, so it engulfed her. The color was okay. Like a light gray. He reached forward to look at the tag. $40, but it was a green tag, which meant it was half off today.
“Come on. Fitting room,” she said, ushering him to the back of the thrift store.
Xue Yang had originally gone to the mall and was horrified to find that suits at the department stores were, like, really expensive. Meng Yao had been absolutely no help when he called him and had seemed mildly horrified when he’d said he’d gone to JC Penney, but Qin Su had hopped into the conversation from the background and offered to help Xue Yang find something. She’d suggested scouring thrift stores. Xue Yang had gotten a fair amount of shit from thrift stores (band t-shirts, old video games, a nice rice cooker that had barely been used) but he’d never thought to look for fancy clothes.
He stepped out of the fitting room with the suit on, letting Qin Su see.
“I can hem the pants and take the waist in a little bit. What do you think?” she asked.
Xue Yang turned back around to the mirror. He tried to picture himself in a collar and tie too instead of the t-shirt underneath and made a face.
“I dunno,” he said. “I look like my name is Jason and I have an NFT profile pic on Twitter.”
Qin Su laughed.
“We’ll edge it up for you with the styling,” she assured him.
“Hey, have you ever heard of the Metaverse?” Xue Yang asked, putting on his best white frat boy voice.
“Yeah, it’s just like Club Penguin,” she said.
Xue Yang laughed.
“It totally is, holy shit,” he said. “You’re so much funnier than all your brothers.”
“That’s not hard to do,” Qin Su deadpanned. “Go change and let’s find a shirt and some accessories.”
They wandered through the store, suit slung over Xue Yang’s arm. Qin Su picked up shirts and held them up to the fabric, deciding whether they would work or not based on, as far as Xue Yang could tell, completely arbitrary requirements. She found four for him to try and made him put each shirt on underneath the jacket to see how they looked and felt. She found him some jewelry too. They had no luck with shoes, but Xue Yang had some that he didn’t think would be too offensive to Meng Yao’s sensibilities as long as he stood far enough away and/or got champagne drunk enough.
“So tell me about your date,” she said once they’d left the thrift store, putting a little sing-songy emphasis on the last word.
“He’s a tattoo artist. Super jacked. Super hot. Lots of tattoos, but none on his hands or face, so nobody’s grandpa is gonna have an aneurism,” Xue Yang said. “I dunno, he doesn’t talk a lot. But if I’m not at the register he won’t order. And he didn’t even hesitate to say yes when I asked him to come. Those are good signs, right?”
“He definitely wants to get in your pants,” Qin Su confirmed.
“Will A-Yao be mad if I hook up at his wedding?” Xue Yang asked thoughtfully. Not that it was going to make a huge difference in his decision, but it would change how discreet he was about it. The thought of going down on Song Lan in a bathroom stall or a closet during the reception was really appealing.
“He and Xichen will be out of there by 8pm, so don’t worry about it,” Qin Su said.
“Losers,” Xue Yang said, automatically. But Meng Yao had told him things, mostly under the influence of vodka. He knew what kind of shit was about to go down at the honeymoon. He’d only sort of been joking about the threesome.
They picked up boba on the way back to Meng Yao’s house. They were even nice enough to pick up one for him, even though he was sure to look at the outfit they picked out and find something wrong with it. When they pulled in, Meng Yao was escorting someone out the door to a car Xue Yang didn’t recognize parked in the driveway. He hella recognized the person walking down the driveway next to Meng Yao though.
“Xingchen?” Xue Yang asked, stepping out of the car.
Xiao Xingchen smiled brightly at him and waved.
“Hi. I was gonna call you later. I have good news,” he said, meeting him around the hood of the car. “It turns out the wedding I’m working is your friend’s, so I can come after all. Unless you’ve invited someone else already, of course.”
“Really?” Xue Yang said. “Fuck yeah, that’s awesome.”
Qin Su side eyed him as she reached between them to grab her drink from the drink holder he was carrying, but she didn’t say anything. She held out her hand to Xiao Xingchen.
“I’m Qin Su. Meng Yao’s sister,” she said.
“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you,” Xiao Xingchen said, shaking her hand. He looked back to Xue Yang. “We’ll talk later. I’ll have to meet you at the venue. Do you mind?”
“Nah, that’s good. Great. I’ll text you later,” Xue Yang said.
“Please do,” Xiao Xingchen said, smiling brightly. “I’ll see you later. Nice to meet you, Qin Su. I assume I’ll see you at the wedding?”
“You will,” Qin Su said.
Xiao Xingchen waved goodbye to Meng Yao too, and then he was in his car and pulling out of the driveway.
“You didn’t tell me you’d asked my florist,” Meng Yao said, taking his boba from Xue Yang as well before starting back towards the house.
“I didn’t know he was your florist,” Xue Yang said, following. “He said he was gonna be busy.”
“He’ll be finished before the ceremony,” Meng Yao said. “He’s very nice, I approve.”
“How are you gonna break it to hot tattoo guy?” Qin Su asked, kicking the door closed behind them and heading for the couch.
“Fuck,” Xue Yang said.
“You asked someone else?” Meng Yao asked, sharply.
“Yeah, well, Xingchen said no,” Xue Yang said, in his own defense.
“Unfortunate,” Meng Yao said.
Xue Yang had gotten pretty attached to the idea of walking into the wedding on Song Lan’s gigantic arm and judging everybody there. But he was also pretty attached to the idea of getting wine drunk with Xiao Xingchen at the reception and making him laugh with mean jokes about Jin Zixuan.
Shit. He was gonna have to choose.
Xue Yang could have, like, texted Song Lan. But texting him that he was uninvited felt like shit. He also could have called him, and he did kind of intend to, but then a day passed and then another day, and it was probably better to say it in person anyway, right? That was how you broke something like that to someone. So when Song Lan came in to get his coffee like normal before his shift, Xue Yang took his break and pulled him to the side.
“Hey, so about Saturday,” Xue Yang started.
“Yeah, I meant to ask. Should I pick you up?” Song Lan asked.
It had taken Xue Yang a while to pick up on Song Lan’s little micro expressions. To an outside observer, he kind of looked like he hated everyone. But it wasn’t that. He just had resting bitch face was all. He wasn’t good at smiling. He did this little lip twitchy thing that Xue Yang eventually learned was a smile. He smiled more with his eyes. And right now his eyes were looking at him with such sincerity and openness, Xue Yang hesitated to respond. And that hesitation was just enough for Song Lan to keep going.
“Sorry, I’m not very good at this. I’ve thought about asking you out so many times, but I thought it might be weird. So I’m really glad you asked me, and I’m really looking forward to Saturday,” he said.
There wasn’t a lump in Xue Yang’s throat. Definitely not.
“Yeah. Yeah, uh, I’ll text you my address. I’m like 20 minutes from here though, west side,” he said.
“Okay. And you said Jin Resort and Hotel, right?” Song Lan asked.
“Yup,” Xue Yang said.
“I’ll pick you up around 3 o’clock?” Song Lan said.
“Great. Can’t wait to judge A-Yao’s terrible cousins with you,” Xue Yang said.
Song Lan did that little smiling with his eyes thing. They said goodbyes, and then he was gone.
God fucking damn it.
“You have to let me bring both of them,” Xue Yang said as soon as he managed to get Meng Yao on FaceTime. He was in a bathrobe and had clearly just done his evening skin care routine. He even still had little paper thingies underneath his eyes, which should have made him look less intimidating, but it didn’t.
“Absolutely not. Seating arrangements are already done, I can’t change anything now,” he snapped.
“Come on, somebody’s gonna be a no show,” Xue Yang said, pacing around his apartment, circling around all the dirty laundry that he should probably actually put in its place.
“No. You can’t bring two people, you’re only slated for one,” Meng Yao said, looking exactly like an angry kitten. “Besides, would they even be all right with it?”
“I mean, they wouldn’t have to know if you seat them in different places,” Xue Yang said.
The laugh that came out of Meng Yao’s mouth was downright mean, Xue Yang thought.
“Come on, I can’t tell one of them no. You should have seen Song Lan’s face. And you have seen Xiao Xingchen. How am I supposed to disappoint either of them?” Xue Yang said.
“Not my problem. You’ve never had a problem breaking hearts before,” Meng Yao said.
He was right on that. Xue Yang had dated around, fucked around, and had no issue telling people to fuck off before. He didn’t know why this was different. It just was. Xue Yang heard a voice off camera, and Meng Yao’s attention diverted.
“It’s Xue Yang,” he said, and a moment later, Lan Xichen appeared in frame. He smiled and waved at Xue Yang.
“Hi Xue Yang,” he said, brightly, because he always said everything that way.
“Gege, tell your husband to let me bring two people to the wedding,” Xue Yang said, trying to do the cute fluttery eyelashes thing that he’d seen Meng Yao do, but it looked really weird on his own face, so he gave up and settled into a pout.
“Oh, I think it might be too late to change the seating chart, isn’t it?” Lan Xichen asked, looking at Meng Yao for confirmation.
“It is,” Meng Yao confirmed, way more sweetly than the way he’d just talked to Xue Yang.
“I’m sorry, Xue Yang,” Lan Xichen said, genuinely sounding apologetic.
Xue Yang groaned and gave up looking cute. Fuck both of these guys, actually.
“I’ll see you on Friday night. Don’t call me,” Meng Yao said.
He didn’t even say goodbye before he hung up. Xue Yang was starting to think he had picked a bad best friend.
The days leading up to the bachelor party had been actual torture. Xiao Xingchen had taken to texting him good morning and good nights with flower emojis. Song Lan had texted him a mirror photo of the suit he was planning to wear, asking if it was okay, and Xue Yang had gone so feral over the half undone shirt underneath he couldn’t respond right away, which led to Song Lan sending him some follow up question marks an hour later.
By the time the bachelor party rolled around, he still hadn’t figured out what to do. There was maybe 20 hours till the wedding and he was kind of just hoping it would fix itself. Maybe one of them would get the flu. Maybe he would get the flu. If he was being fully honest with himself, he was also hoping Meng Yao would get drunk enough that he could be convinced.
Unfortunately, Meng Yao was not keeping up with him and the rest of the wedding party. Xue Yang had to practically force feed him a tequila shot when the shot boy came around to the patio.
“Your husband may be super boring but you don’t have to be,” Xue Yang said. “You’re allowed to fucking party.”
“Lan Xichen is not as tight laced as you think he is,” Meng Yao said.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, he ate your ass for like 20 minutes straight on the first date,” Xue Yang said, taking a shot of something blue. There was a green one too, which he handed to Qin Su. If anybody was gonna out-drink him at this party, it was probably gonna be her. The bitch could hold her alcohol.
Jin Zixuan, on the other hand, came back into the conversation pit and immediately turned back around as soon as he heard that. Xue Yang wanted to laugh, but he had a point to prove to Meng Yao.
“What do you think he’s doing for his bachelor party? Probably sitting in a room playing chess with his even more boring brother. What a waste of a face on that one,” Xue Yang said, shaking his head. He’d met Lan Wangji exactly once and had been blown away by how gorgeous he was, but it took about 12 seconds of trying to flirt with him for that boner to disappear.
“They’re having a party too, actually. Da ge didn’t hire any strippers though, which like, what is even the point,” Nie Huaisang said, flopping his little twink body back into the chair next to Meng Yao.
“What is the point?” Xue Yang agreed.
The gay bar they’d chosen was one Xue Yang and Meng Yao had spent a lot of time at back in the day, before Meng Yao went and got wifed up. The drinks were too expensive, but they had the best drag shows in town and Xue Yang had hooked up with at least half of the regulars on this very patio, so it held a lot of good memories.
“Speaking of, those go go boys are working so hard in there. You should go give them money,” Nie Huaisang said, poking Meng Yao.
“You two can do that on my behalf. I’ll tip the performers, I promise,” Meng Yao said.
Jin Zixuan came back to the couches with a waitress in tow, carrying another bottle and mixers on a tray. He had sprung for VIP, which was also way too expensive, but hey, it was his money, and Xue Yang was gonna drink enough for the guy to get his money’s worth.
“To my big brother and his new husband,” Qin Su said, maybe a little too loud, raising her glass, but at least somebody else was doing proper celebrating at this thing. Xue Yang woo-ed appropriately and they all drank.
She demanded that they all go to the dance floor, and Xue Yang jumped to follow her. Nie Huaisang grabbed Meng Yao and pulled him up to follow, and Jin Zixuan trailed behind. Xue Yang didn’t have a spare second to feel sorry for a straight guy, but Jin Zixuan had been surprisingly cool about the whole Long Lost Illegitimate Siblings thing. And it was nice of him to do all this even though he was clearly out of his element. He was just so awkward it made Xue Yang want to bother him every way he possibly could. It was too bad Meng Yao had forbidden him from flirting with him because that took away a lot of his options to make the guy uncomfortable.
They danced until the dance floor cleared for the drag show. As promised, Meng Yao did tip all of the queens, and he even accepted a kiss and a shot when one of them brought him on stage to congratulate him on his wedding. Thanks to people buying him drinks at the bar after, Meng Yao was actually properly fucked up now, face pink and smiling and swaying to the beat of Beyonce over the speakers.
They were back in VIP taking a break from the floor when Jin Zixuan’s phone rang. He stepped outside and two minutes later returned looking pale and wide eyed.
“A-Li’s going into labor,” he said.
“What?” Xue Yang asked. Meng Yao sat up stock straight, looking like he hadn’t fully comprehended either.
“Yanli, she’s having the baby,” Jin Zixuan said, looking like he was about to vomit.
“Oh my god,” Nie Huaisang said, gasping.
“But she’s three weeks early,” Meng Yao said, looking almost as panicked as Jin Zixuan, and Xue Yang wanted to laugh. Of course that was what he would think about. The fucking schedule.
“You have to get to the hospital,” Qin Su said, standing up.
“Right. Right, right, right,” Jin Zixuan said, nodding, but he was still standing there, looking like a deer in the middle of the road.
“For fuck’s sake,” Qin Su said, snatching his phone from him and taking his arm. They stalked off out of the club, presumably to order an Uber to the hospital.
Meng Yao had his face in his hands and had slumped back into the couch cushions. The music was still blaring around them, the disco ball still shining, the go go dancers still shaking their junk at everybody.
“You’re gonna have a nephew,” Nie Huaisang said, patting Meng Yao’s knee, looking delighted.
“He wasn’t supposed to come until after the honeymoon,” Meng Yao said, hands still over his eyes.
“That means you have extra seats,” Xue Yang blurted, as soon as the thought came to his mind.
Meng Yao peaked through his hands.
“What?” he demanded.
“Those two definitely aren’t coming to the wedding with a fresh baby,” Xue Yang said.
Meng Yao was staring at him, and his brain was clearly working overtime.
“Which means you have room for me to have a plus two,” Xue Yang pressed.
“Absolutely not,” Meng Yao hissed at him.
“Why not?” Xue Yang asked.
“I will not be part of your stupid little game,” Meng Yao said.
“It’s not a game,” Xue Yang insisted. “I want both of them there, and now you have room.”
“I thought they didn’t know about each other,” Nie Huaisang said, sipping the last dregs of his drink thoughtfully.
“They don’t,” Xue Yang said.
“And you’re just gonna put them at the same table? Isn’t that a bad idea?” Nie Huaisang asked.
“No, because it’s not happening,” Meng Yao said, sounding a little bit more hysterical than he would have if he were sober.
Qin Su came back into the area and sat down.
“Well, I think it’s safe to say you’ve lost your best man,” Qin Su said.
“Oh my god, I’ve lost the best man,” Meng Yao said, slinking down further into his seat. “The wedding party is uneven. It can’t be uneven. How is that going to look in photos?”
“Xue Yang can do it,” Nie Huaisang suggested.
“I can do it,” Xue Yang said, leaning forward. “If you’ll let me bring Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen.”
“No!” Meng Yao said.
“You can’t be best man,” Qin Su said, putting a hand on Xue Yang’s shoulder, pulling him back out of Meng Yao’s face. “I’ll be your maid of honor. Xue Yang will take my place.”
Meng Yao narrowed his eyes at her, but he was listening.
“I’ve been to the wedding rehearsal, I know how it all goes. All Xue Yang has to do is follow Nie Huaisang and stand there. You can handle that, right?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Xue Yang said, because why not?
“Song Lan can stay at Xue Yang’s table, and Xiao Xingchen can sit at the Jiang table,” Qin Su said.
Meng Yao looked like he was about to protest, but Qin Su gestured for him to let her speak, and he clamped his mouth shut again.
“If you think Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are going to be at the wedding instead of at their sister’s side, you’re insane,” she said.
Meng Yao thought about this for a moment. Xue Yang could see him doing all the calculations in his head. He probably had the whole seating arrangements map in his head and was rearranging them mentally. He inhaled deeply and sat up straight. He looked at Xue Yang.
“I refuse to have any gay drama at my wedding,” he said.
“There won’t be any,” Xue Yang assured him.
Meng Yao stared daggers at him for a full few seconds before finally sighing and pouring himself a shot. He took it, and then he stood up. He didn’t even sway or lose his footing.
“I’m going back to the hotel. Do not be late tomorrow,” he said, pointing at Xue Yang.
“We’ve got this, babe,” Qin Su said.
“Yeah, it’s gonna go perfect, don’t worry about it,” Xue Yang said.
Meng Yao didn’t look like he believed that for a moment, but he stepped away anyway, tapping his phone to call a car.
It was Nie Huaisang who spoke first.
“What are you gonna wear?” he asked.
“We’ll have to safety pin Jin Zixuan’s suit. It’ll be fine,” Qin Su said.
Xue Yang was too busy basking in his win to worry about it, so he poured himself another shot in celebration.
Xue Yang had to take a full minute to remember where he was when he woke up. His phone was ringing, and after a moment of scrambling, he found it under his discarded jeans on the floor and answered it.
“Hello?” he asked, squinting at his surroundings. He hadn’t made it home, clearly. He was pretty sure he hadn’t hooked up with anyone, but he also wasn’t wearing pants, so he had questions.
“Hey, I just got your texts. Uh, I don’t know what they meant,” Song Lan said.
Xue Yang let out a string of curses and squinted around the room, trying to put the pieces together.
Hotel room. He had crashed in Qin Su’s hotel room. She had offered the pullout couch. This way they could get up early and figure out the clothing situation and he wouldn’t have to drive home and back. He’d texted Song Lan the new plan. But also, well, his drunk typing skills weren’t exactly up to par.
“Yeah, okay, so A-Yao’s best man had a baby last night, or maybe is having a baby right now, I dunno, so I have to take his place, so don’t pick me up, because I’m already here,” Xue Yang said.
“Okay. That explains the baby emojis,” Song Lan said. “So you have wedding party duties now?”
“Yeah, is that gonna be weird? I’ll be with you during the reception. You might need to stop me from punching A-Yao’s dad,” Xue Yang said.
He heard a kind of half laugh over the phone.
“Your friend is Jin Guangshan’s son,” he said.
“Yeah. Wait, do you know him?” Xue Yang asked.
“Not personally, but when you said it was this weekend at the Jin hotel, I figured it out. Hard to miss the news if you’re local,” he said. “I’ll see you later then?”
“Yeah. Text me when you get here and I’ll come see you before I have to do the groomsman thing,” Xue Yang said.
“Will do. Good luck,” he said.
Xue Yang set his phone aside and put his pants back on. There was no sign of Qin Su, but he heard the shower running. He wondered if Xiao Xingchen was here yet. He should explain the whole deal to him too.
Xue Yang contemplated finding his shoes, but he had no idea where they were, so he just grabbed his phone (almost dead, hopefully Qin Su had a charger) and walked down the hotel hallway barefoot. He hadn’t been here in ages, so it took him a minute to find the ballroom. These fucking resort hotels had no business being this big. He indeed found Xiao Xingchen amongst the staff finishing up the decorations and setting up the reception area. Meng Yao was among them, looking infuriatingly not hungover and like he’d had a perfect night’s sleep. He was freshly showered and his skin was glowing. When he spotted Xue Yang walking towards them, he gave him a very unflattering once over.
“Hey, has A-Yao told you I’m a groomsman now?” he asked Xiao Xingchen.
“Yes. Apparently poor Jiang Yanli is still in labor,” Xiao Xingchen said, looking genuinely saddened to hear that news.
“I’ve seated him with Lan Wangji. Did you know Wei Wuxian is his nephew?” Meng Yao asked.
“Oh. Small world,” Xue Yang said.
“Everything looks beautiful so far,” Meng Yao said to Xiao Xingchen, and it was a little shocking hearing a genuine compliment come from his mouth. He turned to Xue Yang. “Come on. I need to get ready, and so do you.”
“Kay. See you at the wedding,” Xue Yang said, waving bye to Xiao Xingchen, who waved back and then went back to his flower arrangements.
“I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but the Lan table is across the ballroom from where I had you and Song Lan. I absolutely mean it when I say I will abide by no homosexual drama on my special day, A-Yang,” Meng Yao said, so sweetly it would have been easy not to see it as the threat it was.
“It’ll be fine,” Xue Yang said. It would be easy to make sure they didn’t run into each other. Super easy. Not a problem in any way. No gay drama here.
Qin Su was still pinning him into Jin Zixuan’s suit when Song Lan arrived, but he ran down to say hello to him anyway while Meng Yao drank champagne beneath a green face mask and pointedly refused to get involved.
Song Lan looked… fucking magnificent, honestly. The guy cleaned up good. Holy shit. His tux was slim fitting and made him look like a movie star walking a red carpet.
“Damn, you look hot as fuck,” Xue Yang said, pointedly looking Song Lan up and down.
Song Lan straightened a little bit, doing that little half smile, and he looked like he may have been blushing a little bit.
“You too,” he said, taking in Xue Yang’s new outfit.
“It’s not done, I have to go back,” Xue Yang said, deeply regretting being in the wedding party now, because he kind of just wanted to skip the whole thing and shove Song Lan into a utility closet somewhere.
“I’ll be here,” Song Lan said, nodding.
Goddamn it. Xue Yang waved and ran back to the elevator before he could do something that would definitely ruin his best friend’s wedding.
As soon as he got to his floor though, Xiao Xingchen was on the other side of the elevator.
“Holy shit,” Xue Yang said as soon as he saw him.
Xiao Xingchen laughed, and he looked ethereal. Incredible. Stunning. He was wearing a silvery gray, which draped over him like he was one of those Greek statues or something. He wore silver jewelry and had a little bit of silver glitter dusted over his eyes.
“I asked Meng Yao if this was formal enough, and he said it was fine,” he said. “Is it too much?”
“I mean you’re hella outshining the bride, but I don’t give a shit, he’s not my fiance,” Xue Yang said, looking him up and down. The elevator door started to close on him and he waved his hand in front of the door to keep it open. “Fuck, I gotta go finish getting ready.”
“I’ll see you down there,” Xiao Xingchen said, stepping into the elevator as Xue Yang stepped out.
Once again Xue Yang pondered doing something in an elevator that would definitely get this wedding ruined. Instead of doing all that, he walked down the hallway back to Meng Yao’s suite, cursing his friend’s name under his breath.
The wedding itself went off without a hitch. If Xue Yang were any kind of romantic he probably would have thought it was nice, but he mostly stood there trying not to look bored while Lan Xichen teared up giving his vows and Meng Yao fluttered his big eyelashes like a fucking romcom character. Disgusting. He was happy for them.
Once the reception began, he went to Song Lan first, since he was closest to the door, and plopped into the seat next to him.
“That was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” he said, reaching for one of the bread rolls sitting on the table. Food hadn’t been served yet. He was starving. He was still mostly running on coffee and the remainder of his hangover.
Song Lan half laughed.
“I thought it was nice,” he said. But then he hesitated, looking like he was about to say something else. Xue Yang raised his eyebrows, prompting him with his eyes. “I don’t think I would write my own vows. It’s so…”
“Cringe,” Xue Yang finished.
“Yeah,” Song Lan said.
It turned out Song Lan actually did know how to hold a conversation, which was kind of a surprise to Xue Yang. But when the rest of the people came to their table, he clammed up a little, and seemed not to know what to do after the introductions and small talk began. He wasn’t totally alone there though, because Mo Xuanyu, by far Meng Yao’s weirdest sibling, was in the seat next to him glowering at everyone.
Xue Yang was just trying to figure out how to make a quick exit when Qin Su appeared at his side. She looked pretty incredible, actually, wearing a blush pink knee length dress. Her makeup made her look soft and dewey, like she had some kind of inner glow.
“Hey, we have to take pictures,” she said.
“Oh. You good for a little bit?” Xue Yang asked.
Song Lan glanced at the rest of the table, and then he nodded.
Xue Yang followed Qin Su.
“Didn’t we already do pictures?” he asked once they were out of earshot.
“Yes,” she said with a sly smile, taking him across the ballroom towards Xiao Xingchen’s seat.
“I’m obsessed with you,” Xue Yang said.
She preened, tucking her hair behind her ear, and then she veered the other way as he approached the table and deposited himself next to Xiao Xingchen.
“Hey, sorry it took so long. Pictures,” he said.
“Of course, not a problem,” Xiao Xingchen said, casually reaching forward to touch his arm, squeezing it lightly before turning back to Lan Wangji, who was watching Xue Yang with his usual completely unreadable expression. “Have you met Lan Wangji?”
“Yeah, we’ve met,” Xue Yang said. He looked to Lan Qiren, who also looked stony and disapproving in general. “Sup, teach?” he said, nodding to the old man.
“Hello Xue Yang,” he said, long suffering as always.
“Professor Lan taught my intro to psych class,” Xue Yang said.
“Oh? You went to USF?” Xiao Xingchen asked, looking surprised, and honestly Xue Yang felt maybe he should be a little insulted by that, but he was working as a barista after all.
“I didn’t graduate,” he said, waving it off. “He told me my paper about cults was concerning and referred me to the university’s mental health services. At least I didn’t get kicked out like Wei Wuxian, though, right?”
Before Xiao Xingchen could ask questions, and he really looked like he wanted to ask questions, the food arrived, and Lan Qiren looked grateful for the interruption. It was for the best, because Xue Yang suddenly remembered Meng Yao’s instruction not to cause drama, and teasing the father figure of his new husband was probably not the way to go here. Luckily, Xiao Xingchen changed the subject to the food. Turned out he was vegetarian too, and he talked about how nice it was to not even have to think about it here, to which the Lans agreed. The food was all right. It was some fancy catering bullshit. What Xue Yang really wanted was a taco or a Cuban sandwich but whatever. He downed the glass of champagne.
“I’m gonna go to the bar. You want anything?” Xue Yang asked.
“Oh, another glass of rosè would be nice,” Xiao Xingchen said.
Xue Yang gave a thumbs up and got up, heading back across the ballroom. He did stop by the open bar and grabbed a vodka soda on the way. He planted himself back into the seat next to Song Lan, who was, shockingly, talking to Mo Xuanyu.
“If you’re genuinely interested, come by the shop. Bring some samples with you,” he was saying.
“Okay,” Mo Xuanyu said, and he looked more excited than Xue Yang had ever seen him.
“You corrupting the youth?” Xue Yang joked, digging his fork into the food in front of him. More rabbit food, but like, what else was he supposed to do?
“He’s interested in apprenticing when he graduates,” Song Lan said.
“Huh,” Xue Yang said. Xue Yang had been inside the tattoo shop. Now that he thought about it, the kid would fit right in there. “You ever need practice, I’ve been thinking about coming in for the Friday the 13th thing.”
“You have tattoos?” Song Lan asked, and the way he looked up and down Xue Yang’s body wasn’t subtle at all.
“Yeah. They’re all kinda random,” he said, shrugging. He’d gotten just about every one on impulse.
Xue Yang listened to them chat for a while, throwing in his thoughts occasionally. Then he drained his glass and stood up.
“I’m going to the bar. Anybody want anything?” he asked.
“Get me a whiskey sour,” Mo Xuanyu said.
“Nice try, kid,” Xue Yang said. Frankly, if they weren’t at a Homosexual Drama Free Wedding, he would consider it, but Meng Yao would kill him.
“I’m all right, thanks,” Song Lan said.
Xue Yang fingergunned at him and crossed the ballroom once more.
He lost count after a while. He was also downing a drink at every table every time he switched, so things were starting to get a little blurry. When Meng Yao and Lan Xichen finally did their first dance to open up the dance floor, Xue Yang wolf whistled at them and was about half a millisecond away from telling Lan Xichen to take off his shirt when Song Lan casually put a hand over his mouth. Automatically, Xue Yang licked it, and Song Lan jerked his hand away, giving a look that was equal parts disgusted and a little bit horny, which made Xue Yang laugh.
Xiao Xingchen asked him to dance, and he figured that was fine, because there was no way in hell Song Lan was ever gonna get on the dance floor. And if Song Lan saw him dancing, that wasn’t totally weird right? Okay, granted, when Xiao Xingchen wrapped his arms around him and held him close, that was probably pretty damning, but like… there were a lot of people, there’s no way he noticed, right? He was still talking to the goth kid over dessert.
There was one more harrowing moment where he accidentally brought Xiao Xingchen a whiskey neat instead of the glass of wine he’d requested. Instead of being annoyed about it, Xiao Xingchen laughed and made him sit down and drink water instead of going back to the bar to correct the mistake. Then he forgot to bring the whiskey over to Song Lan, but Song Lan also smiled at him and gently suggested that he switch to non-alcoholic drinks for the rest of the night. It all made him feel weirdly warm inside.
Qin Su covered for him, either distracting whoever he was with so he could switch places, or reminding him to move when he’d been with one of them for too long. He wanted to kiss her on the mouth. He had no idea why she was helping him, but she seemed amused by the whole thing. He had even managed to avoid Jin Zixun and Jin Guangshan the entire night, so he was feeling pretty great about himself.
He was just coming back from the bathroom, mentally congratulating himself, when he finally crossed Meng Yao’s path again. He put his hand on Xue Yang’s upper back, stopping him before he could get back to his table.
“I’m afraid your actions are about to catch up to you,” he said, nodding towards the bar, where Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan were talking. Song Lan’s brows were furrowed, and Xiao Xingchen was blinking at him, a quizzical look on his face.
“Shit,” Xue Yang said, immediately starting to turn around and head for the door. It was a nice wedding. He’d give his compliments to Meng Yao’s wedding planner some other time. But Meng Yao squeezed his shoulder and kept him in place.
“Zixuan and Yanli finally had the baby. Xichen and I are going by the hospital before we go back to the honeymoon suite,” he said.
“Cool, I’ll come with, I love babies,” Xue Yang said, even though he was pretty sure he’d never even met a baby before. Because now Xiao Xingchen had looked directly at him, and Song Lan had turned to follow his gaze. They looked at each other, and then they started walking towards him.
“It has been an occasional pleasure knowing you. I’ll make sure the funeral is nice,” Meng Yao said, patting his shoulder. And then he was gone, and Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan were in front of him, side by side.
“Xue Yang,” Xiao Xingchen said.
“Hey, how’s it going,” Xue Yang said, looking between them. Maybe he could salvage this. Maybe they had just been talking about how cool the wedding was and how passable the vegetarian food was.
“I’ve just run into Zichen. Did you know we went to high school together?” he asked.
Xue Yang blinked at them. He had no idea. Why would he? But he tried to still the pounding of his heart, because maybe that meant they’d just been catching up.
“I asked how he knew the grooms. He said he was here with you,” Song Lan said.
“Which is very funny, because Song Lan said he was also here with you,” Xiao Xingchen said.
Xue Yang stared between them, trying to get a read on the tone. They were both very calm. Like, creepily calm. Xiao Xingchen almost looked amused. Was he amused? Did he also think this was funny? Or was that the alcohol?
“I mean, that might be true,” he said slowly.
“Why didn’t you just tell me you found another date?” Xiao Xingchen asked.
“You want me to say no to you?” Xue Yang asked. Surely he knew that was an impossible task.
“You could have told me you wanted to go with someone else,” Song Lan said, and he looked like he was bracing himself to be let down.
“I wanted to go with you though,” Xue Yang said.
The brow furrow was back, but he glanced at Xiao Xingchen, who looked like he was fighting back a smile.
“So you’re saying you’re interested in both of us?” Xiao Xingchen asked.
“”Uh. Yeah?” Xue Yang said, ready to make a run for the door. If they asked him to choose, he couldn’t. He was just fine being single. He’d transfer coffee shops so he’d never have to see either of them ever again. Cut his losses, start over. It’d be fine.
“That works for me,” Xiao Xingchen said.
Xue Yang blinked at him.
“Huh?” he asked.
“I don’t mind either,” Song Lan said, looking at Xiao Xingchen out of the corner of his eye before looking back at Xue Yang.
“You don’t?” Xue Yang asked.
“I haven’t been in a monogamous relationship since I was sixteen. I figured it would come up if we went out again,” Xiao Xingchen said.
“Oh,” Xue Yang said, still definitely too drunk for this.
“If things start to get serious between any of us, I want to talk about it again,” Song Lan said. “But for now, it’s fine with me too.”
“Huh,” Xue Yang said, trying to make his brain think harder about this, but there didn’t seem to be a lot to think about. “Yeah, that sounds good to me.”
“Great, it’s settled. Lan Wangji and his uncle have already left if you want to come back to my table,” Xiao Xingchen said.
“Or we could go somewhere else. Looks like most of the wedding party has left,” Song Lan said.
“I want a taco really bad,” Xue Yang said.
“I know a place,” Song Lan said, a small twitch of a smile on his lips.
Since Song Lan was still sober and had a car, he took them downtown to where his favorite taco truck was parked. He said it was the best in town. Xue Yang was skeptical, but Song Lan ordered for the three of them in Spanish and the guy in the truck handed him the best carne asada he’d ever had in his life. Sitting cross legged on a bench letting the taco meat soak up all the alcohol inside him, listening to Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan chat on either side of him, Xue Yang thought vaguely that he’d actually done what he’d promised. There was absolutely no gay drama at his best friend’s wedding. He couldn’t wait to tell him how it all worked out.