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Chapter Text

May 2023

“What the hell do you want?” 

Sapnap scowled down at the small cat staring at him, wondering why Patches had come to him for salvation. Her beautiful coat and soft eyes worked on Dream without fail, and made George spoil her with extra treats. Sapnap loved her, but he had a stronger backbone than his roommates. The late hour of the afternoon settled between her normal lunch and dinner feeding. Either Dream had gotten caught up in his editing and forgot to feed her, or Patches was looking for a sucker to sneak an extra meal.

“You’re not going to trick me,” he said with conviction, hating the sweet head tilt that melted his heart. “I know your little game. Pretty faces like yours think you can make these cute expressions and I’ll just give in to whatever you want.” 

“ Mrr ?” Patches didn’t blink at his accusation, little paws kneading at the edge of the counter.

“Dude, not the biscuits.” Sapnap groaned at the display, feeling his defense crumble at her adorable behavior. “Fine, whatever. If your dad gets pissed at me, it’s his fault for teaching you this trick.” 

He pulled out her special food, going through the normal process Dream had taught him years ago. Dream had been particular with how they fed Patches when Sapnap first came to Florida, keeping to specific times and portions. Sapnap had tried to keep his confusion to himself, still getting used to being in the new home. He’d been around animals his whole life, though the cattle and pigs weren’t as sensitive about the meals as Dream’s pampered feline. It made more sense as the months went on, Sapnap realizing that Patches had been one of the only things that kept Dream sane in his lonesome home. 

“But now he’s got me,” Sapnap said to Patches, smirking when he bent down to place the food in front of her. “And the idiot, I guess. We’ll take care of your dad, so you don’t have to worry.” 

Her face was already shoved into her meal, showing how little his words mattered to her. Sapnap sighed at the familiar feeling, petting between her ears. He wasn’t sure who was more soothed by the movement, Sapnap ignoring the ache in his thighs to continue the motion. The smell of the special food made him queasy, but he shoved down his disgust to wait for her to finish her snack. His room felt too empty with Dream and George missing somewhere in the house, and he wanted to snuggle with his furry roommate while waiting for his stream with Punz to start. 

Before the dish could be finished, Sapnap felt his phone buzz in his pocket. With a groan, he pushed up from his squat and winced at the tingles rushing through his thighs. He needed to start working out again, or at least get back on his skateboard. He had gotten too comfortable ordering his food and choosing to cuddle with his roommates over playing basketball. But he wouldn’t have traded the long nights of laughter with George and Dream for anything, knowing the past eight months had been the best of his life. 

Smiling at the thought, Sapnap pulled the phone from his pocket, seeing his mother’s contact flashing across his screen. “Hey, mom.” 

“Nick, there you are.” His mother’s tone was a warm breeze against his ear, slipping years off his back with the soft twang. “It’s been so long since I’ve gotten you on the phone. What, with you being a world star, traveling all over the place.” 

“Yeah, it’s been a lot,” he replied, leaning back on the kitchen counter to look out the window. “I think this is the first time we’ve all been in the house together in a while. Sorry I haven’t been able to call.”

“It’s not like I’d expect anything different if you were off at college. I’m trying not to be a mama bear, but it’s just in my blood.” 

Her laugh brought out Sapnap’s smile, relaxing muscles he hadn’t realized were tense from old stress. “I don’t mind. Dad came by for the basketball bracket, and Dream already offered our house if you wanted to bring Josephine down here.” 

“Unless you can promise I won’t get swept away in a hurricane, I’m quite cozy in Texas,” she answered, the same reply she’d given the last two times he asked. “How are my boys? Did George and Dream figure out their feelings now that George has settled in with y’all? I was only around them for a few days, and I thought they were already picking wedding colors.” 

“Nah.” Sapnap blinked at the little tilt of his tone, shaking his head at how easily it was to fall back into the old accent. It came out when he was angry or tipsy, but nothing tugged on his Texas roots like his own mother’s vocal sway. Unsure if he wanted to correct it, Sapnap spoke slower. “They’re still idiots. Dream’s got a lot on his plate with his music and the upcoming cons, so he’s too stressed to see how bad George is for him. And George is too stubborn to make the first move, so he’s being a bitch about—”

Sharp as a knife, his mother cut in. “Nicholas.” 

“Sorry, he’s being lame about not admitting his feelings first.” Blowing out a frustrated breath, Sapnap looked back to Patches, scowling when she trotted out of the kitchen. He would have to track her down for cuddles after the phone call, if she didn’t find a way to sneak into Dream’s room. 

“Be kind to your friends,” his mother said, her fondness for his two roommates echoing in the receiver. “Feelings can be kind of scary, especially at your age. I’m sure they’ll figure it out.” 

Everyone knew the end of the ‘DNF’ fairy tale; they’d find a way to be together, soulmates or whatever stupid trope their fans wrote in their works of fiction. He had only read a few with George, mainly to make fun of the crazy situations their followers put them in. But even with the years between then and now, Sapnap remembered George’s reactions. He had seen first hand how George’s smile softened at Dream’s make-believe words. When the phrase ‘I love you’ spilled out of George’s re-telling of Dream’s confessions, he slowed his cadence, like he wanted to live in the moment a little longer. Sapnap had known Dream was in love with George since they were teens, but George’s shyer feelings cemented it was only a matter of time. 

Despite agreeing with his mother, his mouth wouldn’t sway from the frown that tugged at his lips. Anxiety bubbled at the dwindling ‘when’, and Sapnap forced the conversation away from the troubling thoughts. “Mom, I have to stream soon. Was there something you needed, or you just checking in?” 

“Oh, right!” His mother snapped her fingers on the other side of the phone. “My bad, sweetie. I actually wanted to know what you’ll be up to in July. The week leading up to the 20th, to be exact.”

“Uh, I don’t know.” His mind rolled through the events that Dream had drilled into his head, brows furrowing. “We’ll be out of the house for most of June. I think George wants to visit his parents after Paris, but I should be back by then. What, we doing a family reunion?”

“Something like that. The town got the approval to have our annual festival again.” 

“Oh, no way.” Sapnap’s interest piqued, grinning at the news. “Seriously? Thought they were never gonna lift that ban after Covid. Is Pa still doing the livestock show? He’s gotta have too many since he hasn’t been able to sell them for the past two years.”

“He wants to, but we’re hitting a bit of a snag.” Her answer and slow sigh dimmed his earlier excitement. “You see, your uncle’s one brick shy of a load, and thought he could do a backflip off the diving board. Cept he ain’t young like y’all, and he ended up breaking his arm. He won’t be able to help your Pa for the festival, so I was hoping you, Dream, and George might want to come the week before and lend a hand or two. Maybe you could even invite your friend, the one who plays with Mr. Beast… Karl? You always talk about him, but never brought him home with you.” 

“Oh, I don’t…” 

Sapnap’s stomach clenched before he could shut down the offer. Part of him knew it would be cutting close to the multiple work trips they were taking and they hadn’t been able to enjoy their house for more than a week since Christmas. George loved traveling, wanting to explore all the places he hadn’t been able to when stuck alone in his apartment. Dream was trickier, knowing his tight schedule was almost as sensitive as his physical health. The years of seclusion made it hard for him to travel long periods of time. Sapnap didn’t want to guilt his friend into ignoring his immune system to visit his family in the middle of the summer. Karl was a whole other problem; if anyone had a more complicated schedule than Dream, Karl took the cake. The fact that it would cross paths with his birthday made it unlikely Karl could join on the trip to Texas. 

But Sapnap knew the financial and societal importance of the event. The Maybell festival brought large amounts of revenue for all who participated. With only fifteen thousand residents in Maybell Hills, the town had always used the three-day event to gain attention from larger towns. But Sapnap, who had grown up in the tall fields and dirt roads, knew it was more than that. Their community came together, allowing everyone to escape the stress of the outside world to enjoy their slice of life. Children and elderly alike looked forward to the Maybell festival, leaving with more friends then they started with. Sapnap had countless memories from when he was younger, throwing his teenage problems to the wind to eat funnel cake and show off his bull riding skills. 

Sapnap knew he couldn’t say no to his mother’s simple request. “Yeah, I’ll be there to help Pa out. I can’t promise the boys will come, cause we’re going to be traveling a lot.” 

“Just tell them I’ll make that homemade cornbread George couldn’t get enough of when you visited.”  

“He shouldn’t get any because he stole mine last time,” Sapnap grumbled, rubbing his palm against his nape. “I’ll throw it into the group chat, and we’ll let you know. Either way, plan for me to be there.” 

“If you’re the only one who can make it, I’ll be the luckiest woman in the world.” She laughed at her own tease, though he knew she believed her words. “Pa and Josephine send their love, baby boy.” 

“Mom, I’m twenty-two.” Knowing he wasn’t going to win the fight about the endearment, Sapnap leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Tell them I love them, too. I’ll talk to you about flights and stuff soon.” 

After ending the call, Sapnap switched into his group chat, skimming the weird conversation between George and Karl about spoiled food. Not wanting to know how the topic had come up, Sapnap typed out the offer from his mother. 

>> Sapnap (2:37pm): okay i dont know what youre talking about but shut up for a second

<< Karl (2:37pm): there’s my handsome boy!
<< Karl (2:37pm): whats up?  

<< George (2:38pm): No.

>> Sapnap (2:39pm): stfu bitch
>> Sapnap (2:41pm): my family wants us to come visit after london to help out with a town festival we do every year
>> Sapnap (2:42pm): its kind of a big deal and my uncle broke his arm or somethin so i have to go
>> Sapnap (2:43pm): you three were invited too

<< George (2:43pm): Sounds like you’re trying to get free labor from us. 

<< Dream (2:44pm): when?

<< George (2:44pm): I’m not going.

>> Sapnap (2:44pm): events starts on the 20th but id wanna go the weekend before to see my family

<< Dream (2:46pm): ill call ken for flights 2nite

<< George (2:47pm): Have fun without me.

Despite George’s refusal, he reacted with a thumbs up on Dream’s confirmation. Sapnap rolled his eyes at his friend’s dumb behavior, knowing that he wouldn’t let Dream go to Texas without him. George didn’t care about leaving Dream when going to North Carolina or California with Sapnap, but hated when the roles were reversed. He had given them a cold shoulder the one time Sapnap had ‘stolen’ Dream to the Sooners game. If Dream was going to Texas, George would moan and complain while following after him. 

Still, he didn’t answer the two confirmations, unsure why he kept staring at the screen. Karl was the least likely to have the time; just having Dream and George for the trip was enough. Anxiety swelled through his chest, lip jammed between his teeth to try and soothe the unreasonable emotion. Stuck in the moment, his fingers tugged down the screen, as if refreshing it would make the conversation change. 

He almost dropped the phone when Karl’s text finally came through.

<< Karl (2:53pm): omg meeting the fiance's family?? I’ll book out the whole week! <3

“This nimrod.” Sapnap grinned at the overeager answer, double tapping to add his heart reaction before closing out of the conversation. A warm brush of soft fur against his leg made Sapnap glance down at Patches, who had returned from her exploration. Scooping her into his arms, Sapnap kissed the back of her head before murmuring. “Come on, Patchy-poo. Let’s go harass George until he agrees to go to Texas.” 

And when Patches only meowed in reply, Sapnap laughed and moved out of the kitchen.

~**~

July 9th

“Oh, what about this shirt?” 

“You’re gonna wear that in Texas?” Foolish’s brows furrowed, head tilted like a puppy. “Ain’t it hot there?” 

“Well, yes. But I’m meeting Sapnap’s family. Like, his grandfather. I can’t show up to the farm looking like a bum from Ohio.” 

“Hey!” Foolish scowled, Karl giggling at the easy jab. “Come on, don’t be like that. We look perfectly fine in Ohio.” 

“Yeah, spoken like a man from Ohio. You wear the same three shirts every week.”

“When did this become ‘pick on Foolish because I’m a big jerk’ day?”

“That’s just my normal morning.” Once happy with his daily tease, Karl turned back to his suitcase, stuffing the flashy button up into the corner of the luggage. “I’ve got to bring a nice set of shoes, too. Maybe I can offer to take them out to dinner? I bet they don’t get out alot.” 

“Wow, you’re really excited about this trip.” 

At Foolish’s observation, Karl paused in his packing, shrugging. “It’s just a rare opportunity. Sapnap doesn’t talk much about his family, so I want to make the most of it. He’s met my family like, a hundred times, and they love him. I want to try my best at stealing Sapnap’s family from right under his nose.”

“Huh.” 

“What?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing.” Except Foolish’s mannerisms and tone of voice proved there was more waiting on his lips. “I just don’t remember you being this eager when my parents invited you to Ohio.” 

“Are you jealous of my super awesome friendship with Sapnap? You want me to make you a friendship bracelet to feel better?” Karl let his loud laugh take over when Foolish sputtered. 

“What? No! Well, wait. I wouldn’t mind a bracelet.” Foolish tapped his chin in thought before shaking his head. “You’re just doing a lot for this trip to Texas.”

“Well, that’s…” Karl scrunched his nose when rolling over the new information. “I think maybe because I’ve known Sapnap for so long? He’s been in a lot of my videos and we’ve shared so much time together, it just feels like the next step for us.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.” Foolish’s smile could light up any room, bright and full of good intentions. “I don’t know how to explain it, but you get all silly when it comes to Sapnap. It’s pretty cute.” 

“I don’t treat him differently,” Karl said, unsure why he rushed to defend a topic that didn’t need it. Foolish was a little mushy when he wasn’t on camera, soft edges a complete contrast to his toned frame. 

“Yeah, you’re just super excited to melt in Texas and get attacked by a wild pig or something.” 

Karl laughed at the outlandish theory, tossing his pillow from the bed and toward the gamer chair Foolish spun around in. Foolish took it like a champ, his shark persona popping out when he snagged the corner with his teeth. Overwhelmed by his friend’s unreasonable reaction, Karl flopped over onto the bed, laughing hard enough to rattle his chest from the noise. Though he sometimes worried he picked the wrong decision when staying in North Carolina, having Foolish move near him had been a blessing in disguise. Their friendship was a rock in his river of stress and obligations, knowing he could always cuddle with the welcoming man whenever he dragged himself back from a long business trip. 

Once both settled down, Foolish popped the pillow from his mouth. “You know, I’m actually pretty happy.” 

“Yeah?” Pushing up onto his elbows, Karl cocked his head. “Why?”

“I knew you and Sapnap were close before, but getting to experience it first hand is something completely different.” Foolish’s words seeped under his skin, warming him. “It’s nice seeing you have a little buddy that you can be yourself with without worrying about the backlash.” 

“It’s always been like that with him.” When Foolish only nodded, Karl let his mouth wander in his reminiscing. “I clicked with him the first time we streamed together. He didn’t care about the million questions I asked or how I followed him around the server. When I played up the marriage thing, he didn’t hesitate. It didn’t matter that he’s straight; he just wanted to make me happy. Bro even got into a throuple with another man. Tried to kill Punz for flirting with me.”

“Oh, I saw that one. You totally set that up,” Foolish said, Karl shrugging through his grin.

“I like my men possessive.” 

“Poor Punz, just a little pawn in your sick, cruel game of chess.” 

The dramatic comment rolled Karl’s eyes. “You don’t even know how to play chess.” 

“That’s not the point!” Foolish shouted, Karl laughing while shaking his head. 

“Either way, Sapnap’s been there for me through everything.” Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, the truth like pop-rocks fizzling over his lips. “I want to make a good impression on the people who taught him to love others so openly.” 

“Oh, well that’s easy.” Without missing a beat, Foolish pushed out of his seat, Karl shouting when he leaped onto the bed. The suitcase slipped off the mattress, Foolish taking its spot when crawling over to Karl’s side. “You’re a swell guy. Sapnap’s parents are gonna love you, probably more than anyone he’s brought home before.” 

“You’re making it sound like we’re actually engaged,” Karl replied, hiding his smile against Foolish’s shoulder. 

“ Well …”

Foolish’s lingering sentence triggered playful fighting between them, Karl pinching and poking whenever he found an opportunity. Foolish was stronger, could throw him off the bed without a second thought, but he kept his strength contained when flicking Karl’s cheek. The growing intimacy between him and his friend had blossomed throughout the year, Karl sneaking Foolish into his friendship pocket to join the others. Though he got along with several people across the spectrum of their platform, Karl felt a natural click settle into place with Foolish. 

Their weak back-and-forth fight stopped when Karl’s phone rang out from his desk across the room. Knowing the ringtone was set for only one person, Karl rolled off the bed, quick to snatch up his phone to greet the man of the hour. 

“Sapnap!” Karl’s happiness echoed in his cadence. “Were you ears burning? We were just talking about you.”

“No, I… wanted to update you on the Texas trip.” 

Sapnap’s demure reply made Karl wonder if he was trying to stay quiet for something on his side of the call. A quick glance to the clock by his nightstand proved it wasn’t late, just rolling past seven. Then again, Karl knew how strange Dream’s sleep schedule was. It wouldn’t surprise him if their friend had stayed up all night editing, leaving him to drop into a coma for a day. 

Hoping to inject some enthusiasm into the conversation, Karl switched to positive news. “You and the boys are flying out tomorrow, right? My plane’s booked for Monday, so I’ll be a couple days behind. But don’t worry! I will not let Paris happen again. I’ll make Foolish drive me there overnight if I have to. I’ll be in the heart of Texas by Monday morning.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Sapnap said, and Karl’s smile dropped off at the sadness flooding the response. 

Concerned, Karl glanced over to Foolish, who had sat up on his bed to watch one side of the conversation. He wasn’t sure what his face expressed, but Foolish gave a quick nod, mouthing his offer to order dinner before he scampered from the mattress. The long legs meant Foolish was out of the room in seconds, giving Karl the privacy to delve into the unknown problem tainting Sapnap’s mood. 

“What’s going on, handsome?” Karl asked, hoping the gentle endearment would make telling him about the conflict easier. 

A hot breath slipped through Karl’s ear before Sapnap’s bitter answer struck. “Dream and George aren’t coming to Texas.”

“What?” Stunned, Karl’s jaw dropped, though he knew Sapnap couldn’t see his surprise. “What do you mean? We’ve been planning this for months.” 

“Yeah, except Dream’s shitty immune system doesn’t give a fuck about that. He’d been super sick since Paris. We had to cut our London trip early. Guess what idiot got Covid?”

“Oh, no shot.” Karl pressed his palm to his forehead, eyes closing at the pain he felt for Sapnap. “When did he test?”

“Last night. He’s not gonna be better for our flight.” 

“Wait, but you and George tested negative?”

“Yeah because we don’t catch the plague when seeing someone sneeze.”

Both knew that it wasn’t Dream’s fault his immune system was so vulnerable, but Karl understood where Sapnap’s snark came from. “So why isn’t George coming?”

“Well, part of it’s cause Dream’s mom isn’t around. His family’s on their own vacation. George said he should stay behind in case Dream gets worse.”

“Okay, that makes sense.” When Sapnap didn’t agree, Karl took back his statement. “Unless you think there’s something else going on?”

“Dream finally kissed George when we were in London,” Sapnap answered, Karl’s noise of excitement slipping out before he could stop it.

“No way! Seriously? Did you get in on video, because I don’t think I can believe it otherwise.”

“I wasn’t there for the first kiss, but I’ve been around for the aftermath. With how much they were kissing before Dream tested positive, I’m surprised George hasn’t caught it yet. Actually, scratch that, I think he tried to catch it so he’d have an actual excuse for why he couldn’t come with me.” 

Karl fell quiet, unsure what emotion to follow. His happiness for the long-awaited hook up between Dream and George was at the forefront of his mind. Years had been spent building their relationship, despite both denying any romantic feelings. The relief dulled when his head flipped to the other side of the coin, knowing the poor timing of their relationship compared to Sapnap’s trip. George’s desire to stay with Dream when offered a trip to travel was out of character, and anyone with two eyes could see he was swayed by the week-long relationship. Nobody wanted to be torn away from their lover days after finally confessing, and while Karl empathized with Dream and George…

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, unable to shed his sympathy for Sapnap’s predicament. “You’re getting the short end of the stick out of this deal, and you don’t even have Covid.” 

“It’s whatever. I knew I’d be shoved in the backseat once ‘DNF’ became real.” As if he hadn’t meant to let his hurt slip out, Sapnap growled and barreled into his next thought. “I know it's kind of lame to ask you to work for my family without everyone here to hang out, so I don’t want to waste your time. If you want to back out—”

“Hey, none of that.” Keeping his voice quiet through his response, Karl didn’t let Sapnap’s thoughts have a second to breathe. “If those nimrods want to miss out on seeing your family, it’s their loss. I won’t be selling my ticket for anything. In fact, I’m looking forward to it even more now.”

“...Why?” Sapnap asked, Karl using his hesitant curiosity for his benefit.

“Less competition to be your mother’s favorite! George really gets away with his polite accent, and Dream is just any mother’s fantasy. I was going to have to bring out their dirty tweets or something to get the upper hand.” 

“You’re the only one who's been banned from Valorant for threatening to burn a family alive.” 

“Okay, in my defense , I never said I would light it. Everyone forgets that!” 

“Because it's implied, dumbass.” Sapnap’s soft chuckle made Karl’s smile grow, relieved to pull him out of his negative mindset. “I love that I can always count on you.” 

With a warm heart, Karl let his impulse get the better of him. “Then put a ring on my finger, handsome.”

He knew the offer was out of left-field, the two dropping the joke of their marriage since the end of the Dream SMP. Foolish’s previous conversation teased it back from his mind, knowing that part of the original creation of their engagement was because of Dream and George. Karl never told Sapnap how often he’d watched his streams before they became friends, not wanting to seem weird or stalkerish. Even though he’d been an outsider then, he picked up on the different dynamics between the members of the Dream Team. While he knew none of them meant for any fissures between them, Dream and George’s attraction had been instant. If anyone was going to convince Karl of soulmates, it would be them.

But Sapnap was the one whose Karl’s eyes lingered on from the beginning. His quirky humor left Karl in stitches, wanting to earn the little smiles that made Sapnap look so much younger than he was. When he managed to weasel his way by Sapnap, he took his shot, overlaying Dream and George’s blatant flirting with his own teasing compliments. Sapnap clung to him like a baby koala, accepting his role as Karl’s fiancee. The rest was history, though Karl liked to bring it up when Sapnap needed a pick-me-up. 

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” Sapnap’s yawn cut through the conversation, catching his voice. “I should finish packing. I’ve got to get to the airport so fucking early tomorrow.” 

“Go get some beauty sleep. Not that you need it.” 

“Thanks. I’ll pick you up at the airport, like a good fiance.” 

Laughing at Sapnap’s joke, Karl murmured his goodnight before hanging up, pressing the phone to his chest. He only lingered in the comfortable energy for a moment before he moved out of the room. A quick walk through his house helped him find Foolish, who was laying across his couch with his phone perched over his face. 

“Find anything good for dinner?” Karl asked, not asking when he crawled onto the sofa to flop over Foolish’s chest. 

A steady arm wrapped around his back, though Foolish didn’t look away from the menu on his screen. “How are we feeling about some wings?” 

“I’m not really a wing guy unless it's Wednesday.” Karl snuggled under Foolish’s chin, peeking from the corner of his eye. “I want a burrito. And guac. So much guac.” 

“Mmk. I could go for some Chipotle.” The quick switch of restaurants matched Foolish’s topic change. “Is Sapnap okay?”

“Kind of.” Karl weighed the pros and cons of telling Foolish about the conversation, then spoke. “Dream and George aren’t coming to Texas. From what Sapnap said, Dream got Covid and George is staying to… well, support him?” 

“That’s weird. He normally likes going with Sapnap places, right? I mean, unless he finally asked Dream out— why did you flinch?” 

“Uh.” 

“Oh.” Foolish didn’t react immediately, though nearly dropped the phone on Karl from his abrupt realization. “ Oh ! Wait, Dream finally—”

“I don’t know if you’re supposed to know that,” Karl replied, firming his voice up. “Wait until they say something, okay?” 

“Yeah, of course! Lips are sealed.” Like a child, Foolish dragged the edge of his phone over his mouth, then softened his gaze. “But man, that’s gotta be tough for Sapnap. He’s probably happy to get out of the house, if his friends are in their honeymoon phase.” 

“Maybe.” 

Foolish, still distracted by their food, let his words shed a different light on the situation. “Yeah, I had a friend in that situation. His roommates were together, and it was super awkward. There was this weird pressure to give them space in his own home. Dynamics shifted, secrets were kept, and he never felt like he had an ally on his side in any apartment fight… he found a new place to live about a week after we walked in on them having sex on the counter.”

“That must have been awkward,” Karl said, Foolish nodding while scrolling down the menu.

“Super strange. And since Sapnap’s been best friends with George and Dream for years— he’s really gonna need some extra affection, you know? Least that’s how I feel whenever my friends get into relationships…okay, we thinking a bag of chips to share, or—?”

Karl hummed his agreement over whatever Foolish was suggesting they share for dinner. He wanted to listen, knowing Foolish had weird tastes that he wouldn’t eat. Still, despite it being for his best interest, Karl’s mind couldn’t focus. The words stuck to the back of his brain, playing like a song on repeat. Sapnap’s bitterness and expectation that Karl would also let him down made his stomach twist, but it wasn’t from hunger. While he didn’t have his bags fully packed, Karl wanted to speed up time and force them into Monday. He couldn’t change Dream’s Covid, or Sapnap’s hidden thoughts over the first bit of conflict created from the new relationship. But Karl did have one thing he could promise. 

No matter what, Karl would make sure their time in Texas was the best week of Sapnap’s life. 

Chapter Text

Texas was hot. 

Too hot.

Karl tried to hold back his groan when stepping off the boarding bridge. His lungs begged him to return to the air-conditioned airplane. Even with the insulated ceiling, the bright sunlight baked him through the glass, Karl’s hair springing up from the humidity. Grateful for the several bottles of hair products shoved in his luggage, Karl hiked up the sleeves of his sweater, trying to give his skin space to breathe. The morning had been warm in North Carolina, but nothing like the soul-stealing temperature of Texas. As soon as he got his bags, Karl planned to find a bathroom. The last thing he needed was to show up at Sapnap’s home looking like a poodle. He doubted his mother would judge him, but he refused to take the chance. 

A ping of his notifications setting off dragged his attention to his phone, tapping the screen to catch up on what he missed on the plane. Twitter and emails were swiped away quickly, though the ‘See ya soon’ from Sapnap got to linger on his display. A quick glance to the clock made Karl sigh, knowing his prediction of landing had missed by twenty minutes. As if the phone had read his mind, more messages popped up, shifting between pictures of Sapnap’s drive to the airport and complaints of Karl being late to their meet-up. Like he somehow had control over when the pilot landed the plane. His final text dragged out Karl’s giggle into the humid air.

<< Nick Sapnap (12:37pm): get your pretty ass off the flight! im sweating my dick off

“He’s so impatient,” Karl said, shaking his head before wiping the back of his hand over his forehead. The collection of sweat made him grimace. He’d only been in the state for a few minutes, and he could already sense the difference in his lungs. 

>> Karl (12:42pm): Meet me at baggage claim!

Excited to see his friend, Karl bounced on his feet when rushing deeper into the new location. He thanked Jimmy for his comfort in random airports when taking in the large space. In minutes he located the luggage claim, eyes scanning to find a familiar face. Sapnap’s profile filled his gaze in seconds, but Karl didn’t call his name. For a moment, he took in his friend’s appearance, smiling at Sapnap’s little pout while watching the bags slide by. He always stood with a slouch, like he hadn’t quite learned how to accept the growth of his body through puberty. Sapnap wasn’t big, Karl adoring his overwhelming energy despite his shorter stature. He kept his hat low on his face, as if waiting for someone to recognize him in the airport. Karl held back his giggle, knowing Sapnap’s sweatshirt and shorts combination were too iconic for any real fan not to notice. 

What really made Karl’s heart melt was Sapnap’s choice to wear the sweatshirt that matched his own back home. Their clothes had grown more similar throughout the years, even splitting some sets despite the difference of their size. He never questioned why they didn’t buy their own pairs, both having the finances to cover it. At the time, it’d made sense to share; Karl hated shorts, and Sapnap’s broad back made the matching shirt too tight for his comfort. Like everything else between him and Sapnap, they found the easiest solution and went with it without thought.

Getting his fill of watching from afar, Karl raised his voice with his approach. “Sapnap!” 

“Karl?” 

Like a magnet, Sapnap’s body snapped to face him, leaving Karl with no choice but to seize the opportunity. Letting his backpack roll off his shoulders, Karl picked up his speed, lips pushing out an indecipherable noise before he jumped into Sapnap’s chest. Legs too long to be wrapping around Sapnap’s waist, Karl clung to him like a lover after war, unsure if they’d ever get to feel their soulmate’s heartbeat again. It was dramatic, too over the top for two best friends that just saw each other the month before, but Karl didn’t care. Physical touch was his favorite love language to pepper on Sapnap, knowing how long it’d taken his friend to give in to the healthy style of affection. 

Instead of shoving him off, Sapnap only huffed before wrapping steady arms under his shoulders, burying his face into Karl’s raised shoulder. “I missed you, too.” 

“Sorry I left you and George out to dry in Paris,” Karl said, knowing it was a worn-out apology. 

The squeeze around his back proved he’d been forgiven weeks ago. “I keep telling you it wasn’t your fault. Well, maybe trying to wear too many hats at once, but you had no control over the weather and their lack of back-up plans.” 

“I know, but— ugh. I just wanted to explore the city with you. It was so pretty when I went for the Mr. Beast video, but we were only there a day. I bet you found the coolest places to eat without me.” 

“Nah, you didn’t miss much.” Like he was holding precious cargo, Sapnap gently placed him back onto his feet, hands Karl held while painting virgin nails much steadier over his hips. “Dream and George were disgusting as always, and I spent most of the time making fun of them with Bink and Bonk.”

“You’re not actually calling them that.” When Sapnap only grinned, Karl tossed his head back to let out his laugh. “That’s crazy!”

“They like it,” Sapnap replied, sliding one hand from his waist to find solace at the bottom of Karl’s spine. “Now go pick up your backpack and I’ll drag your luggage off the carousel.” 

“Oh, my strong man.” 

Karl tilted his head to beam at Sapnap, who only rolled his eyes before pushing him away. Giggling from the high of being near his friend again, Karl almost skipped to his backpack, grateful nobody took the opportunity to steal it. By the time he returned, Sapnap had snagged his two rolling bags, knowing Karl well enough to pick out the ones with purple tags. Karl grinned when Sapnap grunted while lifting them over the lip, sure they were far heavier than his friend expected. After getting them on their wheels, Sapnap led Karl out of the airport, letting him talk off his ear over the weather and annoying passengers on his flight. 

“— he wouldn’t stop picking his nose. It was so gross.” Karl grabbed the front of his sweater, trying to air out the sweat collecting on his chest. “Sapnap, this isn’t livable. I keep my house at sixty-two degrees, because I hate weather like this.”

“What do you want me to do about it? Shut off the sun?”

“That’d be nice,” Karl said, giggling when Sapnap jabbed his ribs. “Hey, be gentle! I’m already sensitive from this unbearable heat.” 

Sapnap’s dry stare evaporated any sympathy. “It’s cause you decided to dress like we were heading back to Antarctica. Why do you have two shirts on?”

“If you want me to get naked—”

“What the hell?” Karl’s head snapped up when Sapnap’s Texas twang sprung in his question, though he didn’t seem to notice. “I just ain’t looking to see you fry before you meet my mom.” 

“Uh.” After letting the southern sound swim in his mind, Karl gathered his bearings. “You’re excited to show me off? Aw, I’m flattered. I’ll be on my best behavior for you, love.” 

Sapnap couldn’t hide his small smile at the memory, “Love…been a while since you called me that, love .” 

And there it was again. The little hitch to his tone, like someone had dipped his voice in Texas sunshine. He knew Sapnap had come in a few days before him, meaning he was marinated in the sweet southern drawl. Karl had caught glimpses of it before in their streams, though Sapnap normally dramatized it while hunting bigfoot or joking about his roots. Maybe the temperature had boiled his brain, but Sapnap’s smooth transition between his normal and childhood dialect had Karl’s heart swooning. 

“Is it a bad thing?” Karl asked, leaning into Sapnap’s side despite the sweltering heat. 

“I didn’t say that, Jacobs.” They shared a grin before Sapnap looked out into the parking lot of the airport. “Alright, let's get you to my house before you melt away.” 

“You sure I can’t go back home? I think my socks have puddles in them.”

“Karl, you were stranded on a desert island and shipped off to Antarctica. You’ve had hitmen coming after you. How are you going to let a little hot weather take you out?” 

“It’s not terrible in the air conditioning, but it’s like a sauna out here!” 

“I think the great Karl Jacobs can handle a little southern heat.” 

Karl wondered if he forced the accent that time, though the effect of the tease didn’t leave Karl’s cheeks any less flushed. “The car you rented better have the best ventilation system in all of Austin.” 

“Rented?” Sapnap arched his eyebrow, letting the wheels of the bag leap off the edge of the sidewalk before walking across the asphalt. Karl’s only saving grace was the garage’s several levels leaving him shade to hide under. 

“Well, yeah. You didn’t come pick me up on a tractor, right?” 

“Pa’s John Deer wouldn’t make it that far.” 

“Okay, so then what…?”

“I have a truck.” 

Sapnap’s hand yanked out a set of keys, hitting the fob to unlock one of the parked vehicles. When the lights of a looming truck flickered on, Karl stopped walking to stare. He wasn’t a car expert, knowing nothing about what horses had to do with speeds or why men drooled over it so much. He preferred casual drives over drag racing or gas guzzlers. But the sleek, black truck that took up every inch of the small parking space felt like a threat to Karl’s masculinity. There was no reason for his widened eyes, or the returning flush on his cheeks. 

Sapnap didn’t look bothered by the behemoth in front of him, tossing Karl’s luggage into the bed of the truck with a grunt. “God, what do you have in these things? Foolish’s dead body?” 

“He’s got too much muscle to kill,” Karl mumbled, still starstruck by the truck he walked closer to. “This is…big.” 

“You like the size?” Karl’s eyes darted to Sapnap, whose own face showed his instant regret. “Fuck, wait. Not like that!” 

“Oh, sure.” Karl hid his own awe with a snicker, fixing the bag over his shoulders before he walked toward the passenger side of the truck. “Can you even drive this?” 

“Yeah, course I can. I got my license in a truck just like this. I mean, the F-150 might be a little thicker or… okay, shut up. Stop laughing about the truck! How else am I supposed to describe it?”

“No, no. Keep talking about your truck . I’ve never seen you so passionate about something. Well, except beating Punz in Valorant, but then you called him—”

“Don’t even bring it up!” 

Karl laughed hard enough to almost fall off the truck’s running board, though gathered himself and scrambled into the passenger seat. His sigh slipped out when cool air blasted his face, happy to see Sapnap had clicked the engine on before revealing the truck. Ignoring the dampness of his nape when pressing it against the leather seat behind him, Karl curled his legs up into the oversized seat. Closing his eyes, he listened to Sapnap fiddle with something outside of the truck before the driver’s door opened, Sapnap’s little mutter fading out when settled behind the wheel. 

Karl rolled his head to the side, only opening his eyes when asking his question. “How long is the drive to your house?” 

“It’s kinda far; we’re outside of the city. Maybell Hills is pretty small, actually. Can’t even find it on a weather map most days.” 

“That’s kind of cute.” Karl hid his smile in his sleeve. “You’re my small town boy.” 

“Not all of us got to grow up in the city,” Sapnap said, though the smile he wore when pulling out of the airport proved he didn’t mind the title. “It’s kind of weird being back here. I’m used to there being a Starbucks or McDonald’s ten minutes in any direction. Here, the only breakfast place is Granny Susan’s cafe, and it’s only open when her dog wakes her up.”

“How does she keep her business running like that?” Karl asked.

Sapnap smirked over his shoulder. “Trust me, if you got a taste of her breakfast, you’d make sure she stayed open. The whole town’s invested in making sure she’s here until she’s too old to work anymore.” 

“Holy honk.” Finding himself wanting to meet the elusive woman and her mystical cooking ways, Karl turned to the front of the truck, eyes catching something swinging on the rearview mirror. Blinking, Karl’s grin widened in joy when catching the small panda against his outstretched palm. A mixture of sandalwood, bergamot, and lemon wafted through his nose, the name ‘Black Ice’ printed over the belly of the animal. It was a perfect match in Karl’s mind to Sapnap, though he couldn’t pinpoint why.  Beady eyes looked up at him, a little paw waving from the chibi-style design. “This little guy is so cute.” 

“Josephine got it for me. She never accepted that Dream switched my name, so she always shoves pandas down my throat whenever I come home. She’s a pain in the ass.” 

Karl didn’t hear about Sapnap’s little sister often, though he knew it wasn’t from any family conflict. Sapnap was just busy, and didn’t have much in common with the seven-year-old. From the soft rounding of his tone, and Sapnap’s fond smile while merging onto the highway, Karl could feel how much he loved being a big brother. The family ties that bound them together didn’t seem to fray from the distance. Karl wanted to pinch his cheek and coo over the sweet sentiment. Even with his gruff words, every inch of his best friend oozed family man down to his sturdy bones.

“Softie.” Karl’s tease got lost in his quiet yawn, and Sapnap’s eyes caught the motion before he frowned.

“Take a nap,” Sapnap said, not looking for a protest. “We’ve got some time until we get to the summerhouse, and you’ll need the energy for later. My family’s… very excited to meet you.” 

“Hmm… okay.” Happy with the news, Karl flopped into the seat, ignoring Sapnap’s snort to settle his mind. Too used to being stuck in weird situations, Karl didn’t need much to let his brain lull into a pleasant haze. 

A soft pressure against his curls almost made him open his eyes, but trusting Sapnap only made him lean into the momentary touch before it was pulled away. With the quiet hum matching the radio and the sound of the road flying by, Karl slipped into a peaceful sleep under the Texas sun. 

~**~

The dust of the long driveway flared up when Sapnap’s tires hit the loose dirt. Sapnap wondered if his mother would ever let him pay to pave the road leading up to the summerhome. He snorted after the thought, knowing his mother barely let him splurge for a new set of spoons without getting a lecture over ‘trying to wear boots too big for his britches’. She was the one who taught him to fight for everything he wanted, though she never took ownership of his ego. She was stubborn, leaving him to suffer the specks of brown that stained his truck when parking in front of the family garage. 

Sighing before slumping into his seat, Sapnap let his eye take in the sun that decided to sneak closer to the horizon. It wouldn’t be dark for hours, the summers in Texas fighting until the bitter end for their sunlight. Then again, the stars that burst through the smogless sky always made him crave the night, even if he lived for tanlines and swimming holes as a child. His mother claimed Sapnap was worse than the dog at getting back into the house each night, begging to stay in the lake until his fingers nearly fell off. No matter how blue his lips got, Sapnap would only grin wider when asking if he could go back into the freezing water tomorrow. He could still remember his mother’s soft smile when she called for him from the shore.

“Let’s get going, Lightning Bug!”

The snore beside him broke his moment of reminiscing, Sapnap’s snort staying soft to keep from waking ‘sleeping beauty’ beside him.

“You’re a fucking mess,” he muttered, knowing Karl couldn’t hear his assessment. 

The glimmer of drool by Karl’s lip made him wrinkle his nose, not wanting the spit to end up on the leather of his seats. Strands that needed a good brush flopped all over the place, covering the lashes that twitched from whatever dream danced on the back of Karl’s lids. Though he kept an easy personality for all who came across his path, Karl never left himself vulnerable. Sapnap wondered if part of it came from being bullied as a child, or people who took too much permission with his affectionate nature. Here, where Sapnap could snap an embarrassing picture or pour a water bottle over his head, Karl held no hint of tension in his slumped form. He trusted Sapnap, and the thought kept Sapnap’s fingers soft when slipping through the messy strands on Karl’s forehead. 

His palm brushed the skin when smoothing the hair from Karl’s eyes, bending close enough to speak low in his ear. “Wake up, dumbass. We’re here.”

“Huh?” Karl barely lifted his head, Sapnap moving back quick enough to avoid a broken nose. 

“Woah, watch the headbutt. You’re the shittest princess I’ve ever met,” Sapnap said, enjoying Karl’s slow blink while trying to return to the real world. One hand rose up to rub his left eye, the other still half-lidded from his snooze. 

“Most princesses get woken up with a kiss.” Then Karl dropped his head to the middle console again. A whine was muffled against the leather, Sapnap rolling his eyes. He would have felt more embarrassed admitting the noise was cute if not for how often the synonym was connected to Karl. “Let me sleep five more minutes.” 

“You don’t want to meet my family?” 

Like a gunshot, Karl reared back again, eyes wide and filled with his excitement. “Oh, right! I’ve got to rizz up your mom.” 

“Ew, don’t make jokes like that when you’re actually meeting her,” Sapnap said, Karl shrugging before he fumbled for the handle of the door.

“You just don’t want to call me daddy. Then again, Punz—”

“I hate you.” 

Face flushing from the horrible memory (why had he ever cared about the Valorant match enough to call Punz that?) Sapnap pushed out of his seat, shutting the door to hide Karl’s loud snorts of laughter. He almost left the luggage for Karl to figure out himself, but the flash of the sleeping face in his mind made his irritation simmer down enough to snag the rolling bags. When he dragged the oversized baggage around to the front of the truck, he found Karl staring at the house in awe. His bright eyes beamed like a lighthouse in the fog, and Sapnap’s heart clenched at the genuine glee oozing from Karl’s frame. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen someone so excited to walk into the house he knew most of his friends could buy without making a dent in their bank accounts. 

But like everything else, Karl left him speechless.

“This looks like something out of an old country rom-com,” Karl said, awe lining his voice. “It’s so adorable. I almost expect an old man rocking on your porch with a pitcher of lemonade or something.” 

“Pa lives on the farm with the animals,” Sapnap said, stopping next to Karl. “My uncle’s the one who keeps this place in order when mom and Josephine are home during the school year. But he’s off in California or something to get his arm fixed up, so we’re here instead.” 

“Does that mean we’re gonna have to share his room?”

The wiggling eyebrow wasn’t sly, and Sapnap pushed him away. “Keep dreaming. I’m not George; I don’t need you to cuddle me to sleep.”

“I wonder if that’ll change, with him and Dream finally getting together.”

“It shouldn’t,” Sapnap answered, wondering where the sharpness of his words came from. “If they let their relationship change things, they’re fucking dicks.”

Karl paused, but Sapnap refused to look at the face he knew would hold too much concern. The topic was fresh, and he didn’t want to spoil their first night together. Talking about something he wasn’t sure how to process wasn’t Karl’s battle to fight. Sapnap needed to forget about Dream, George, and whatever he’d left behind in Florida. He doubted they were thinking about him, anyway.

A hot pain settled in his chest, but he tried to leave it in the muggy sunset when walking forward. “Come on, we should get inside.”

“Yeah, sure. Make sure to give me a good introduction.” 

Sapnap ignored Karl’s tease when jogging up the small steps of the porch, hiking the luggage over the stairs before nudging the front door open. He’d always enjoyed the comfort the space brought him, from childhood to now. It was a quintessential Texan home, with a stone fireplace and tacky rugs over the wood floor. They’d made it more modern as he got older, swapping out cattle skulls for landscape art. His uncle’s weird lamp shades had been stored in the attic, his mother demanding lighting that didn’t make the place feel ‘out of an old western’. Though the living room was empty, he knew it wouldn’t be for long. He dragged the bags into the corner of the room, waiting for Karl to close the door behind him before he cupped his hand around his mouth.

“Mom, I’m back!” 

“Nick.” His name was wrapped in a heavy southern bow, his mother’s bright green eyes sharpened with her irritation when entering the room. “What have I said about shouting? We don’t need that kind of ruckus in the house; go over to Pa’s barn if you wanna yowl like a dog.” 

“I wasn’t that loud,” Sapnap answered, though he quickly covered his protest when catching his mother’s brow lift. “Sorry, mom. Just thought you’d want to meet Karl.” 

“Of course I do. He’s only been every other word out of your mouth since ya got here.” As if she hadn’t dropped an embarrassing comment, his mother turned to Karl, arms opening while she approached. “You must be Karl. Welcome to our home, darling.” 

“Thank you for letting me stay for the week, uh… Miss—”

“Nope.” Sapnap smiled when she collected Karl against her chest, hugging him like she did her own children. “I’m just Grace to you. Or mom, whatever makes you feel more at home here.”

Leaning against the side of the couch, Sapnap felt his grin widen at Karl’s shocked face. It was nice to see someone knock Karl off his feet with outward affection and a comfortable aura that was even bigger than his own. It only took him a moment to make a realization he should have had years ago. His mother and Karl had a lot in common. With bright personalities and a love for being the center of any party, both used physical touch to express their affection to those who mattered. Even their stubbornness carried the same tune, refusing to admit defeat until the bitter end. Seeing the two embrace in his childhood home was a lot to process. Karl was used to being the best hugger in the room, so seeing him melt into his mom’s hug made Sapnap’s heart fill without a reason behind it.

When she pulled back, her fingers caught Karl’s cheek, pinching it. “You’re so much more dashing in person than those Beast videos my daughter watches. It took me a moment to realize you were the same boy Nick talks about so much.” 

“Do-don’t say it again,” Sapnap said, hating the pitch crack in his voice from his embarrassment. Karl’s mirth coated the blue eyes that flickered toward Sapnap, his smirk hidden in the sleeve over his mouth. 

“Oh, don’t be so shy. I bet Karl loves finding out you’re saying nice things behind his back.” 

“It’s nice to know Sapnap thinks about me so much,” Karl said, and Sapnap bit back a groan over the blackmail that would be held over his head for years. 

“Why don’t you two go bring Karl’s stuff to his room for the week? Then you can come down for dinner. I made your favorite: fried chicken and collard greens with homemade cornbread.” 

“Really?” Sapnap’s stomach growled from the mention of the meal, Karl giggling when Sapnap grabbed the luggage and pushed him toward the stairs. “We’ll be back in a minute.”

“Take your time, I’ll keep it hot for you.” 

At his mother’s reply, Sapnap and Karl went up the stairwell, Sapnap trying to keep the wheels from knocking against the polished wood of the steps. Karl went first, walking backward up the incline and looking too pleased while watching him struggle. Fake threats of dropping the bags didn’t sway Karl’s giggle, and they managed to reach the second floor without losing any of the luggage. 

When he swerved around Karl to walk down the hall, Sapnap paused at a familiar girl wandering toward the stairs. With her head in her phone, Sapnap cleared his throat to keep her from bumping into them. “Heads up, munchkin.” 

“Or you could move, nerd.” Her eyes paused mid-roll when she finally looked up, mouth dropping open when catching sight of Karl next to him. “Uh.” 

“Hey there!” Karl waved with enough vigor to flop his long sleeve, cheeks pulled back from his grin. “Are you Josephine?” 

“Oh my God!” Without any modesty, Josephine rushed forward, hugging around Karl’s waist while she squealed into his belly button. “My brother wasn’t lying? You’re really staying with us all week?!” 

“Why the hell would I lie about that?” 

If Josephine heard him, she didn’t reply, eyes turning up to Karl with overwhelming awe. “I can’t believe he hangs out with someone so cool.” 

“I can’t believe he lets me hang out with him ,” Karl replied, relaxing against the tight grip around his thighs. “Did you know he won Squid Craft? Literally threw another man off a cliff. It was quite impressive.” 

The ease Karl had with Josephine, despite just meeting her, had Sapnap smiling while he snagged the back of her shirt and tugged her off Karl’s legs. “Stop acting like you’ve never met someone famous before. Dream and George were here back in December, remember?”

“Ugh, but they’re lame .” Josephine wrinkled her nose. “Neither of them jumped out of a plane or rode a horse in a castle.” 

“Dream is a literal millionaire.” 

“So? He wears cat beanies. That makes him a dork like you.” 

Josephine’s counter made Karl laugh into his palm, Sapnap smirking before he ruffled her hair. “I’ll make sure to tell him how lame you think his hats are when it's time for your birthday next year.” 

“Wow, you’re so cool blackmailing a seven-year-old.” Then Josephine stuck her tongue out before moving around them, jogging down the stairs while calling for their mom. 

Sapnap ignored the whine to turn back to Karl, whose bright smile had only grown after his banter with his sister. “Why are you looking so happy?”

“I didn’t realize everyone in the Nap family would have such beautiful curls.” 

“Wh-what?” Sapnap’s neck burned with his embarrassment, tugging his hat to secure it over his hair. “You barely see mine.”

“Aw, don’t be shy.” Karl stepped forward, tugging on the ringlet by Sapnap’s ear. “They sneak out from under your hat; I don’t know why you don’t let them run wild.” 

“You’re being weird.” After batting Karl’s hand away, Sapnap pointed to the room down the hall, right across from his. “Stop schmoozing up to my family and put your shit away. Greens are gross when they’re cold.”

Karl only snickered while finally taking hold of his suitcases, dragging all of his items into the guest room. He popped back out seconds later, only losing the sweater from his trip from North Carolina. Like a child, Karl rushed past him to get down the stairs, Sapnap shaking his head. Even though he was older, Karl would never grow out of his childish heart. Sapnap shoved his hands into his sweatshirt when he took his time wandering to the kitchen. Josephine and Karl were seated at the table, and he couldn’t tell which one was more excited: Josephine (over having Karl in her house) or Karl (because of the food being placed on the table).

“Wow.” Karl’s tongue slipped along his lower lip while sniffing the recently baked cornbread. “I don’t remember the last time I got to sit down and actually eat something without a meeting, a plane ride, or a stream in the background.” 

“Well, it’s a good thing having any electronics at the table will get you a wooden spoon to the back of your hand.” His mom swept by Sapnap, nudging him toward the seat next to Karl. “We eat as a family, since we’re all too busy during the rest of the day.” 

Once she slipped into her place at the table, the food took center stage. Sapnap savored the home-cooked meal, knowing nothing would compare to his mother’s skill in the kitchen. Dream did his best, but the comfort of deep-fried chicken and perfectly seasoned sides could never be dethroned. From Karl’s quick inhalation of the dinner, he knew that his first real taste of Texan cuisine was a hit. The plate was almost licked clean by the end, Karl’s bright smile smeared with butter from the greens. 

“This was… wow.” Karl took the offered napkin from his mother, cleaning his face while he continued. “If you opened up a restaurant, I think Jimmy would fund it.”

“Aw, aren’t you the sweetest?” Her pride filled her cheeks from her grin, leaning on the table to peer up at Karl. “What do you normally eat when you’re home?”

“Honestly? Whatever I can cook or order in under five minutes. And that’s even if I remember to eat.” Hearing Karl’s lack of consistent care for himself made Sapnap scowl, though Karl pushed forward with his excitement. “But your cooking puts every country restaurant I’ve eaten at to shame. I could have this every day for the rest of my life and be happy.” 

“Kiss-ass,” Sapnap said, then winced over his swear when his mother sent him a warning look.  Despite his teasing, he was pleased with how much Karl fawned over his mother’s cooking. Karl had been all over the world, pampered with food that Sapnap could only dream of. To hear his mother’s skills left Karl so smitten filled his chest with pride. 

“I like this one,” his mother said, patting Karl’s cheek when she walked around the table to collect the plates. “Bring him around more often.” 

“He’s too busy for us to come every time,” Sapnap replied, though Karl shook his head enough to move his curls. 

“If you give me the notice, I’ll tell Jimmy to clear out any time you want to cook me dinner.”

“Perfect. I’ll make sure to pack you some leftovers before you leave so you can fill up on the plane. We need some meat on your bones, sweetheart.”

“Okay, mom. Karl’s not your new guinea pig.” Sapnap pushed from his spot before snagging Karl’s wrist, dragging them away from the table. “I’m taking him to his room to unpack.”

“What? No way!” Josephine pouted over their departure, arms crossing over her chest. “You just want him for yourself. TikTok’s right; you’re so possessive over Karl.” 

“Shut your mouth, munchkin!” 

“ Nick. ” 

The warning tone from his mother straightened his spine, and it was Karl who saved him from a verbal tongue lashing with his yawn. “I could go for a little sleepy-sleep. We’re going to your Pa’s farm tomorrow, right?” 

“Yeah, bright and early. And we don’t want to make our guest live out of his suitcase. That ain’t hospitable or whatever. Which means we should go.” Smirking at Josephine, Sapnap puffed out his chest and led Karl away from the table. Though he did plan to go into the guest room, he yelped when Karl flipped the grip and snatched Sapnap’s wrist, tugging him to Sapnap’s instead. “Wait, Karl—”

“I want to see your room first,” Karl said, puppy eyes shutting down any protest. 

Once Sapnap’s shoulders slumped, Karl grinned and nudged the door open. Sapnap stepped back into his childhood, still adjusting to the room that had started it all. Though he hadn’t been living in the room for four years, he could still remember every poster and book with his eyes closed. The age difference was obvious, and he bit back his embarrassment when Karl took in the ambiance. Like a kid in a candy store, Karl moved around the room, fingers tracing the trinkets sitting on his bookcase that held more value when he was still a teenager. His bloodhound nose sniffed out Sapnap’s old binder of Pokémon cards, sending a Cheshire smile at the discovery before moving to the sport magazines piled on the top. 

“You have so many collectibles here. I mean, it’s back before you were cool enough for anime, but it’s not terrible. Glad I showed you the light once we met.” 

“It’s not like I’d never watched anime before you,” Sapnap replied, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. “I had already found Hunter x Hunter. And Naruto was a thing, too.” 

“Oh, yeah? Then where’s the manga? The posters, the figurines? Not even a Funko Pop!” 

“Well…” Sapnap hesitated, moving from his spot to sit on the end of his bed. Looking around his room with so many memories, the truth slipped from loose lips. “To be honest, I read most of my stuff in the library. None of my classmates were really into anime, and my family didn’t get it like baseball or other sports. I didn’t have a friend like you back then. You’re the first one I didn’t worry about judging me for liking this kind of stuff.” 

“Sapnap…” He didn’t look up when the mattress dipped next to him, letting Karl collect his hand in his softer touch. Their fingers linked together, and it was only when Sapnap looked over that Karl lifted his hand to kiss the back of it. “I’ll never judge you for being happy. You look way better when you smile.”

The fuzziness in his stomach stole Sapnap’s breath. Karl always had a way of making complicated things feel so easy. He squeezed Karl’s palm, keeping his voice low. “That’s why you’re my favorite.” 

“As I should be.” Karl beamed at the compliment, eyes darting back to where he’d found the card binder. “Can we go over your old Pokémon? I want to trash on babynap for having terrible choices.” 

Karl shot off the bed to collect the item, Sapnap slipping down to drop onto the floor. With his back to the mattress, he settled into the new spot, knowing Karl would spend hours on his large collection. 

Despite the backaches he was bound to gain, Sapnap was happy Karl was finally with him in Texas.

Chapter Text

Six in the morning should not have been a timeframe for anyone to wake up. Karl’s eyes refused to open when his alarm went off, hand barely finding his phone that was inches from nose-diving off the bed. Despite the early hour, light was already shining through his window, nagging at him to get out of bed. From downstairs, he could hear Sapnap’s mother calling out for both boys, using breakfast as incentive to start their day. Karl’s stomach grumbled with the need for another home-cooked meal, and he bit back a groan before he started his slow roll off the mattress. With both feet secure under his still woozy body, Karl rubbed his eye while making his way to the closet full of clothes.

After Karl had thoroughly inspected Sapnap’s old room, his friend had pushed them to Karl’s, demanding he pull his clothes out from his luggage. Karl was used to living in his suitcase, so hearing the demand had thrown him for a loop. Sapnap was too stubborn, and after they bickered over what Karl felt was a silly request, Sapnap unzipped his luggage and flipped it over. Karl screeched when his products and clothes flopped on the floor, forcing him to do what Sapnap wanted all along. He glared and grumbled when hanging up dress shirts and shoving his beauty supplies into the guest bathroom. Sapnap didn’t seem to care, smirk far too wide while lounging on Karl’s bed. 

“What do I wear to a farm?”

The question made him frown, scanning the plethora of items in his closet. He had done his best to pick his favorite clothes to charm Sapnap’s family, knowing soft purples and dark blues really brought out his better features. The problem came with the other half of the trip; working for his Pa at the fair. Sapnap hadn’t given him a lot of information about the festival, and Karl had only learned about ‘Pa’s farm’ the night before his flight. Now, staring at his closet of options, he didn’t think any of them were meant to take a roll in the hay. 

“Okay, maybe there’s some leftover clothes inside the closet.” 

Dropping to his knees, Karl pushed deeper into the walk-in, eyes peeled for something he doubted he’d find. The floor was mostly bare, a shoe box shoved in the corner he doubted would hold anything of value. Like he thought, the search was a bust. Sapnap’s mother was too good at keeping her house spotless to leave piles of clothes for him to explore. With a sigh over his terrible planning, Karl tried to reverse his crawl, blinking when his bare feet skimmed something from behind. His shoulder bumped the flimsy sliding door when he turned in the cramped space, eyes focusing on the new discovery. The brown cowboy hat, with hints of dust from years of not being used, stared back at him from the corner of the closet. 

“Well, that’s better than nothing,” Karl said, yanking out the new accessory before he popped out of the closet. He tried to swipe away any of the dust on the brim, though he knew the hat would need an actual scrub before wearing it outside. But, as a joke for breakfast…

When Karl finally made it downstairs, he wasn’t surprised he was the last one to make his arrival. Grace stood in front of the stove, sliding an omelet onto Josephine’s plate. The younger girl didn’t look fully awake, swaying in her spot until her mother gently pushed her toward the table. Sapnap’s mouth was full of bacon and hashbrowns, eating like a man starved for weeks instead of hours.

Clearing his throat, Karl waited for three sets of green eyes to look up at him before he struck a pose with the cowboy hat. “Howdy, partners!”

“What the hell?” Sapnap’s fork dropped onto the plate while he stared at Karl, mouth opening twice without sound before he finally spoke again. “Where did you find that?”

“In my closet. I was snooping around for some more farm-friendly clothes and all I could find was this little thing.” Karl nodded, laughing when the larger hat slumped over his eyes. With a flick under the brim, it settled back up onto his forehead, though he wasn’t sure how long it’d stay in place. “I just had to try it on. You know, to get the real feel of Texas life.” 

“Aren’t you just the cutest thing?” Grace’s smile was sunlight in a bottle, a noise close to a coo when she moved over to place her hands on Sapnap’s shoulders. “Do you remember when we got you that?” 

“Wait, this is Sapnap’s ?” Karl asked, his glee growing when Sapnap’s cheeks started to darken. 

“They’re a part of the attire for all the bull-riders at the festival,” Josephine said, showing her missing canine when she smiled. “I’ve got a pink one, but it’s cause I do horse riding!” 

“I bet you’re the best in the whole town,” Karl replied, getting her to giggle when he tipped his hat toward her. He felt silly rocking the accessory with his cable knit sweater and plaid pants, but he enjoyed bringing joy to Sapnap’s family. 

“Oh, she’s quite the rider. I think she’s going to sweep the competition on Friday.” Grace’s motherly adoration warmed her conviction, her hand reaching up to tug on the Balenciaga hat covering Sapnap’s head. “Now if we could get him to switch his hat—”

“I ain’t wearing that. It’s, like, gross .” 

“Oh, don’t be like that. You loved that thing when we got it for you.” 

“Mom…”

At Sapnap’s protest, Karl tugged the hat off his head, tilting it in his hands for inspection. “It doesn’t look like it’s that old. I mean, it’s well-worn, and definitely needs cleaning, but I think it’s pretty neat.”

“Sapnap kept it in great condition,” Grace said, wrapping her arms around Sapnap’s shoulder to press their cheeks together. Despite Sapnap’s wrinkled nose, Karl caught the hint of a smile from the affection. “Before this one, we only got him the straw ones, cause he’d always lose them or damage them with his friends. When he was fifteen, he begged us to get him a felt one; the same one his grandfather had when he was little. So, for his sixteenth birthday, we got it for him. The rule was it was the only one he was getting, so he needed to treat it like gold.”

“Told you I could do it,” Sapnap finally said, his smirk smushed from their proximity.

“I swear, he didn’t take it off his head for months! Cleaned it weekly, no matter how much mud and chaos it went through. I always wondered where that went.”

“I guess a pretty safe place, considering I found it in one piece.” Karl moved around the table, giving his own luck a try when reaching out for Sapnap’s hat. “And now it can go on it’s rightful place—”

“Nope.” 

Karl shouted when Sapnap snatched the cowboy hat from his hands, ruining his fun. “Sapnap!”

“It’s dirty and wrinkled,” Sapnap answered, pointing to his own hat. “This isn’t.” 

“I can fix that.” Grace took the hat into her care, rubbing her thumb over the brim. “A little sponge bath and some ironing will make this thing brand new. I can get it all cleaned up while you help Pa at the farm. Then you can wear it for the festival.” 

“That’d be awesome!” Karl said, cutting over whatever Sapnap planned to say. 

“Oh, it’s nothing at all. Just a quick little fix.” Grace’s smile widened when she placed the hat on the counter, turning around to point at Karl’s sweater. “Your outfit is a little bit harder to take on.” 

“Oh, this?” Karl laughed at being caught unprepared, tugging on his collar. “Yeah, I sort of forgot to pack any work clothes. But I don’t mind getting this a little dirty.”

“Nonsense.” With a wave of her hand, Grace slipped her palm onto Karl’s shoulder, squeezing. “You look far too pretty to do farmwork, love. You’ll ruin your nice clothes out there.”

“This is actually the cheapest thing I brought,” Karl admitted, hoping the comment didn’t make him sound too posh. His need to impress Sapnap’s family had backfired, though the mirth in her eyes proved she didn’t mind his slip-up. 

She guided him to the other side of the table, sitting him in front of a plate he knew was his. “I still have some of Nick’s clothes from when he was a teenager. It should be good enough to sweat through at the farm.” 

“Mom, Karl doesn’t know what ‘sweat’ means. He doesn’t participate in physical labor,” Sapnap teased, Karl fighting the urge to flip him off in front of Grace. Instead, he snatched a hashbrown off his plate, tossing it toward his friend. Sapnap didn’t miss a beat, lifting up on his seat to catch the cooked potato in his mouth. Looking like a seal, Karl laughed at the childish display, snagging another one to try the trick again. 

The second one hit Sapnap's nose, Grace stepping between them with a sigh. “Alright, enough fooling around. Eat your breakfast so I can get you that change of clothes. Then, you both need to get on out of here. Pa’s not the type to like wasting the morning light.” 

“And you don’t wanna get on Pa’s nerves!” Josephine said, making Karl smile at his companion beside him. 

He gave her a gentle pat on the head. “Thanks for the advice, Josie.” 

She giggled at the attention, stars filling her eyes with her admiration. Her excitement rubbed off on him, and Karl popped the bacon into his mouth between scoops of scrambled eggs. Just like dinner, everything tasted authentic, a treat he never experienced when at home. The ingredients melted in his mouth, and Karl wondered how much came from a local farm or market. Even the orange juice held a sweetness that he doubted came from a condensed can or jug. 

Karl hummed against the lip of his cup before looking at Sapnap. “Why would you ever give this up to live in Florida?” 

“It isn’t always like this,” Sapnap answered, talking through a mouthful of toast. “Mom only gets to cook full homemade meals when we’re at the summerhouse. She works full-time when the munchkin’s at school, so this isn’t normal.” 

“He just wanted to go to Florida because Dream offered him a bunch of cool stuff,” Josephine said, waving her piece of bacon at Sapnap. “Like a house and a cat.” 

“Patches is quite adorable; I might have moved in if she asked.” Karl savored his bite of hashbrowns while looking around the kitchen, eyes falling back on the hat left behind. Smiling at the accessory, he turned to Sapnap, swallowing the under-chewed food to speak. “You really do have a good face for cowboy hats.” 

“Guess you won’t find out until the festival.” Sapnap seemed stubborn about the timestamp, pouty lips falling into a guarded scowl. “I know the second I put that stupid thing on, you’re going to take way too many pictures and spam them on Twitter.” 

“What? I would never!” He stopped himself from grabbing his phone, remembering Grace’s rule from the night before. Instead, he moved his fingers into a square, closing one eye while he pretended to snap a photo. Sapnap’s smile didn’t show any teeth, but the fondness seeped through his nose crinkle and rounding eyes. 

“TikTok’s right.” Josephine’s voice cut into the moment, Karl turning to catch her gaze flickering between them. “You two act like an old married couple.” 

“Shut up and go wash your dish,” Sapnap said, Josephine huffing at his demand before she hopped out of her chair.

“I hope Annabelle poops on you today. Then Karl will see how smelly you are.”

Karl wanted to ask about the unknown name, but Grace’s re-appearance stole the moment. “Okay, found some things that should work for you! Now, hurry up and get changed, unless you want Pa to have your hide for being so late.” 

“Thank you. Sorry for causing you so much trouble.” 

“It’s no trouble at all, sweetie.” She led him to the storage closet next to the kitchen, closing the door to let him change while she spoke through the polished wood. “Actually, Josie and I are going into town for some final touch ups on her festival outfit. Have Nick give you my number so you can text me your measurements, and I’ll see what they have in your size.” 

“Oh, are you sure?” Karl rushed into the new clothes, enjoying the baggier feel of the soft jeans against his thighs. Biting back the comment about how Sapnap’s legs hadn’t changed, Karl worked on tugging his sweater over his head. “If you really don’t mind, I can leave my card for you to use. Buy whatever Josie needs as my thanks for getting me clothes.” 

“You don’t have to do any of that.” 

“But I want to!” Emerging from the closet, Karl tugged the gray t-shirt down the exposed part of his stomach before he glanced over to Sapnap. “Tell her to let me pay.”

“Mom, he’s pretty rich. He buys me stuff all the time,” Sapnap said, though Grace’s curls bounced off her shoulders when she shook her head.

“He’s a guest in our house, and I won’t be taking any of his money. If he wants to pay me back, he can keep spoiling my baby boy when I’m not around.” 

Karl’s lower lip slipped between his teeth when he bit back his smile, enjoying how bright Sapnap’s face got over the sweet endearment. “Yeah, I can do that.” 

“Don’t feed into her— ugh, whatever.” Sapnap shot out of his seat, snagging the last piece of toast before he moved toward the front of the house. “Let’s go.”

“Don’t forget to text me!” Grace said when Karl chased after him. Spinning around, Karl waved at her and Josephine with a smile, slipping through the door before it shut behind him. 

Though he’d thought the summerhouse was in the middle of nowhere, Karl was surprised by the long trip to the farm. Acres of open fields and farmland kept Karl’s interest for parts of the trip, though he let himself sneak another nap when his early wake-up time caught up to him. Sapnap’s truck was roomy, the seats meant for someone to curl up and snooze. Even the heat of the leather became a warm caress along his body as he dreamt, keeping him comfortable through the forty-five minute drive. 

“There’s my boy.” The old man that greeted them at the farm’s archway looked like Sapnap, if he’d taken a time machine into the future by fifty years. The wisps of brown were chased out of his hair by silver strands, laugh lines and years spent enjoying the open air appearing along his face. Karl hung back when Sapnap took a few steps across the dirt entrance to hug the older man, wrinkled hands patting his back. “Nicholas, where have you been?” 

The full name caught Karl off guard, but Sapnap didn’t seem to notice. “Sorry I haven’t visited in a bit. Covid and my job has me running all over the place. I’ll be here for the whole week, and mom asked me and Karl to come help you out today.”

“Oh, is that your little friend by the truck?” 

Wise eyes fell on Karl when his grandfather scooted around Sapnap, Karl biting back his nerves over the introduction. Though he’d started working out with Foolish for the past year, he knew he was still what most considered ‘scrawny’. His earrings and more gentle features always caught stranger’s eyes, though normally Karl gave no care toward their views or values of him. This was different; Karl didn’t want to be rejected by someone that Sapnap flew across the country to help out without hesitation. 

“Yup, that’s Karl.” Sapnap walked up beside him, a comforting hand dropping on his shoulder. “Karl, meet grandpa Randall. But we just call him Pa, for short.” 

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Karl said, hoping his voice stayed steady when holding out his hand. 

The breath he hadn’t meant to hold dropped out of his chest when Randall returned the shake, his broad grin tugging at the sun-dried lips of the older man. “The pleasure’s all mine. Grace says you’ll be helping with the farm while I go into town for some silly doctor’s appointment.” 

“The cardiologist isn’t silly, Pa. We can’t take chances after your heart attack.” 

“Oh, hogwash.” Randall’s hand waved in the air, as if trying to disperse Sapnap’s logical concern. “I’m fit as an ox, I am. That one time was a fluke.” 

“Then prove it with a clean bill of health.” Dropping his elbow onto Karl’s shoulder, Sapnap jerked a thumb toward the farm. “We’ll do all the hard work around here for the day, so don’t worry about us. Is the list of chores pinned on the fridge still?”

“Of course. If I moved it, that darn barn cat would swipe it and feed it to the goats.” Karl wanted to ask more about the furry characters of the farm, but Randall pulled out his keys before walking toward a green Chevy. “I’ll be back before sundown, so don’t slack off while I’m gone. I know when you’re not putting your back into it, Nicholas.” 

Karl watched the black smoke of the older truck splurt from the muffler before it petered out of sight. Once sure they were alone, Karl nudged Sapnap, feeling his own mischief grow at Sapnap’s head tilt. “Nicholas, eh?” 

“Shut up.” With a huff, Sapnap turned from Karl’s giggling, walking toward the fields of the farm. 

Hot on his heels, Karl didn’t relent. “Nah, it’s totally fine. It makes you sound so mature! I thought Sapnap was already a super sick title, but compared to Nicholas— ”

“Call me that again and I’m hiding all your hair products.” The threat made Karl stop talking, knowing it wasn’t a bluff. “Look, I… I’m not Sapnap here. Or, I wasn’t when I left. The Dream Team was pretty unknown until Covid shut everything down, and I was still playing around with gamer names at the time. Even with my popularity, the people in this town don’t know me as Sapnap. You’re gonna hear a lot of people call me Nick, but it doesn’t mean you have to. I’ll still answer to Sapnap. But, I— Nicholas is just a family thing. Does that make sense?” 

“Not really.” Karl had never understood why Sapnap wouldn’t want to share his name with the world. It was very strong, and he felt it fit his friend to a tee. Still, he moved forward, wrapping his arms around Sapnap’s bicep before dropping his chin to the strong shoulder. “If you want me to keep calling you Sapnap, I will. It’s no skin off my back. But if you ever want to just be Nick here, I can do that, too. You just say the word and I’ll blend in with the country folk. Whatever you want, you just let me know, okay?” 

“Like you could ever ‘blend in’.” Sapnap leaned his head over, bumping his cheek on the top of Karl’s hair. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” Closing his eyes to savor the quiet moment, Karl finally pulled away, beaming a smile at Sapnap. “But when we get married, I’m totally calling you Nicholas.”

“You’re so ridiculous.” Laughing and shaking off the tender moment, Sapnap dropped his hands onto his hips and turned toward the farm. “Alright, let’s put you to work.” 

Though Sapnap had been in Florida the last couple years, Karl watched how easily it was for him to slip back into his old routine. Sapnap showed no hesitation leaping onto the old wood of the fence, climbing into the horse’s stall to drag out the hay bales. He didn’t mind slowing down his explanations when modeling how to feed each of the animals, spewing out agricultural facts Karl hadn’t expected him to know. Karl tried to keep up the best he could, grateful the sneakers he packed were steady enough for the farmwork. The sun made sweat pool down his back while he dug the shovel under the animal waste, ignoring the smell and Sapnap’s smirk to finish the gross task. He got his revenge when Sapnap had to shove his feet into rain boots to muck the pigpen. Amused at the ridiculous look, Karl laughed against the fence when Sapnap cussed out the pigs getting in his way. The swine dragged out his Texan drawl, Karl leaning his arms against the wood to listen for the twang between the swears. 

An hour later, Karl hummed while he swung the pail by his side, heading back toward where he’d left Sapnap last. Collecting the eggs had been easy, though Karl found himself distracted with saying hello to each of the feathered animals in the coop. He didn’t mind the smell hanging off him from their hard work, the sense of accomplishment easing the ache in his unused muscles. Though he knew he’d be sore in the morning, something about the physical labor made it easier to smile through the pain. 

When coming to the edge of the cow pasture, Karl cupped a hand by his mouth, raising his voice. “Sapnap!”

 Though his call didn’t carry as far as he wanted, the need to get Sapnap’s attention disappeared. Instead, Karl felt his focus fall on his friend’s frame bathed in the afternoon sunlight. Sapnap’s outer shirt had been stripped off, the long sleeves tied around the broad waist. Sweat darkened Sapnap’s curls, the hat flipped backwards to keep the brim out of his way. The black tank top underneath clung to Sapnap’s chest from the exertion of using the pitchfork to spread out the cow’s hay in the patchy spots of the pasteur. Karl blinked when taking in the developed bicep curving from strained use, which looked bigger than he remembered. Had Sapnap always been hiding the strong muscle structure under too loose sweatshirts? The rare appearance of the skin peaking through the sweaty shirt left Karl mesmerized, unsure why his mouth forgot how to speak. His fingers tightened around the pail’s handle, the itch under his skin unwilling to be scratched. 

He wasn’t sure if he made a noise, but Sapnap’s head popped up to look at him. “Hey, you finished up at the coop?” 

“Oh! Uh…” Shaking out of the weird moment, Karl lifted the bucket, hoping his smile didn’t show his distraction when Sapnap walked toward him. “Yeah, they laid a ton.” 

“That’s awesome.” Sapnap dropped a hand over Karl’s head, messing up his hair while he grinned. “Good job, bro.” 

“Eh, ya know how it is.” Warmed by more than the sunlight, Karl glanced to the left, hooking onto a new topic. “Are you done feeding all the cows? There’s so many of them.” 

“Well that’s cause Pa sells these the most during the festival.” Sapnap took the pail from Karl’s hand, placing it by the pitchfork. “People come from all over the place to get some of his cattle.” 

“Does he keep any of them for milk?” Karl asked, unsure of the process of raising and selling cows.

Sapnap leaned his arm against the fence, and Karl made his eyes dart from the exposed bicep back to Sapnap’s serene face. “A few. Most get rotated out after a few years if they’re not sold. Oh, well except—”

A sudden pressure slammed into Karl’s side from between the horizontal planks, nearly knocking Karl off his feet. He yelped and windmilled, Sapnap reaching over the fence to wrap his arm around Karl’s back. The force pulled Karl flush against the wood, hips and thighs meeting the planks while his chest bumped into Sapnap’s. 

“Woah.” His breathless response dragged out Sapnap’s laugh, looking over to whatever had caused the displacement of his weight. To his surprise, a cow looked up at him, snout still poking through the fence to try and bite at his shirt. 

“Annabelle, what did I teach you about headbutting strangers?” 

When the cow released a moo in reply, Karl cooed at the cuteness. “I’m guessing this was the exception you were talking about?” 

“Yeah, she’s my baba.” 

“You’re what?” 

“My baba. Kind of like a… a baby cow. That’s what I call her, at least.” Hearing the casual endearment fall from Sapnap’s lips matched his easy grin, using his free hand to pet between her twitching ears. “She’s been here since I was fourteen. Pa planned to auction her off for meat cause she’s never been good with producing milk, but I got really attached to her as a kid. I think I like, tied her lead to my wrist for two days to make sure he wouldn’t sell her. When my mom realized I wouldn’t shower or leave the barn until I knew she was safe, she made my Pa agree to keep her until she passed away naturally. And here we are.”

“So she’s like your Texan pet?” At Karl’s question, Sapnap nodded, continuing to stroke her fur. The tail wag reminded Karl of a dog, leaning more on Sapnap’s chest when running his own fingers down the bridge of her nose. “She’s so beautiful. You picked a good one.”

“Yeah, she’s amazing. Well, ‘cept she’s a major cockblock.”

Stunned by the blunt statement, Karl glanced over to Sapnap, pausing his hand. “I’m sorry, what?” 

“Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t told anyone about Annabelle.” Sapnap pulled his hand back to lift his hat, raising it just enough to shake out his hair before tugging it back down. “During some weeks of the summer, I would live in the room on top of the barn. You know, to help Pa out and stuff. When I got older, obviously it felt like a goldmine. I had a place to bring girls without my sisters or family interrupting. Except Annabelle used to stick her head into the barn window and moo so loudly, it would ruin the mood. One girl got so scared, she fell out of bed and sprained her wrist.” 

“No way.” Amused at the story, Karl put a foot on the bottom rung of the fence, lifting over the wood to kiss the top of her head. “Keeping our boy safe before he became famous. Don’t gotta worry about a baby showing up with you around.” 

“Ha ha, so funny.” Despite his dry tone, when Karl looked back at Sapnap, he caught his fond expression. “She doesn’t like strangers being around me. I don’t even know how I managed to lose my virginity before moving to Dream’s.” 

The casual comment made Karl’s smile drop, though he hid it with a laugh. “Oh, uh… she liked one girl?”

“I guess. I mean, she was my neighbor, so Annabelle knew her. We also hung out a lot, cause she was my best friend in high school. She knew a lot more than… anyone else about me.” Softness curled in Sapnap’s cadence when speaking about the mystery girl of his past. “It makes sense she was the only one good enough in Annabelle’s eyes.”

It wasn’t often Karl felt discomfort when being around Sapnap. They saw each other in weird situations all the time, whether on or off stream. But Sapnap’s confession about his romantic past felt different than previous sensitive conversations. The uneasiness tickling the back of his throat made him want to cough, despite having nothing to dislodge. His eyes stung from the heat of the sun, but he hadn’t noticed it until now. Sweat that he forgot about before collected under the arm still holding him against Sapnap. Normally he reveled in physical touch, especially from his friends, but the moment felt claustrophobic without tangible reasoning. 

Needing to take a breather, Karl used his placement on the fence to climb up, dislodging Sapnap’s touch to hop into the green pasture. Cupping Annabelle’s face, Karl crouched down, meeting her gaze with a friendly smile. “Well, I hope you’ll become my friend as well, Annabelle.” 

“Course she will.” Sapnap’s confidence earned Karl’s head tilt, looking up to see his endearing look. “Everyone loves you.” 

“Twitter says otherwise.” 

“Fuck Twitter, what do they know?” Sapnap scoffed and held out his hand, yanking Karl up to his full height when Karl accepted the offer. “Alright, let's bring the eggs inside and we’ll grab some lunch. Sounds good?” 

“Anything for you, dear.” Karl laughed when Sapnap pretended to swipe at him, running around to snag the bucket before sprinting toward the farmhouse. 

He hoped the strange feeling stayed buried in the grass of the pasture. 

~**~

Sapnap hadn’t realized how small Karl was until he fell asleep. It wasn’t something that crossed his mind normally, more focused on the game they were playing or what part of Banter they were working on. He took up a whole stadium with his personality. Sapnap had always admired that about Karl, and made it easier for Sapnap to quietly fit into his life. When he felt a little too overwhelmed with the stress of their careers, Karl swooped in to take over the attention, luring their followers or the camera’s focus his way. 

But in the quiet of their evening, while driving back to his summer house, Karl’s personality was contained. With arms resting on the middle console, Karl’s head was pillowed to lessen the jostling of the road’s random bumps. Whatever gentle noises came from his mouth, Sapnap’s old shirt muffled it, the slender nose buried into the sleeve Sapnap knew had better days. He didn’t remember the shirt specifically from his teenage years, but the loose way it settled on Karl’s frame tugged on a thread in his stomach. Karl had the ability to take Sapnap’s attention without doing anything, but he didn’t mind the distraction. 

“Hey.” He almost felt bad shaking Karl awake after parking at the house. “Yo, Karl. Come on, we’re back.” 

Karl let a low sigh slip out before he rolled his forehead against his forearm. “Everything hurts.” 

“Cause you didn’t stretch before we got in the truck.” When Karl only whined in response, Sapnap chuckled and tapped his shoulder. “We just gotta get you in the house, and then there’s a hot shower and a bed waiting for you.” 

“Give me a piggyback ride.” 

“Lazy.” 

“Ugh, fine.” Karl moved his hands to the armrest, pushing himself up to sit straight while he yawned. “Can we sleep in tomorrow?”

“Pretty sure.” He’d check with his mom once Karl was snuggled into his bedsheets. “Just a couple flights of stairs and you’re home free.” 

“Yippee.” 

Even the cheer lacked his normal energy, Karl managing to push himself out of the truck. Sapnap hurried from his seat, moving around the front of the vehicle to make sure Karl was stable in his walk. The sleepy sway and bed hair was charming, Karl’s worn-out aura cuter than it had any right to be. Despite his drowsiness, Karl managed to keep himself upright while they pushed into the house.

“Mom, we’re back.” 

Instead of his mother’s welcoming greeting, Josephine skidded into the living room, eyes wide and bright in her excitement. “It’s about time! We've been waiting forever .”

“What are you talking about?” Sapnap asked, narrowing his eyes at her vibrating body. “Actually, bigger question; why are you so happy?” 

“We’re having a fashion show!” Josephine’s shout was followed by her hands clapping together, jumping in her spot. “Mama and I got so many clothes for Karl, so we need to make sure they all look good.” 

“Uh, that’s…” Sapnap’s worry dragged out his answer, looking over his shoulder to Karl. Instead of the weary man that had dozed off in his truck, Karl’s face only held a mirroring excitement when nodding at Josephine. 

“Yeah, totally.” Karl stepped forward, crouching in front of Josephine to speak with her on her level. “How about this; you let me go take a shower, and then I’ll try on whatever you and your mom bought for me. I don’t want to get all the pretty clothes you bought me dirty, right?”

“Yes!” Josephine didn’t seem to care about Karl’s hygiene when she launched forward, arms wrapping around his neck. Sapnap jolted closer when the sudden movement made Karl fall back on his butt, hiding his wince with a weak laugh. The fatigue riddled his frame, but Karl’s great acting skills hid it well. 

“Munchkin, stop bowling people over.” He reached past Karl and snagged the back of Josephine’s shirt, lifting her off Karl to give him relief. Josephine tried to squirm out of the touch, then glared at Sapnap when his grip was too strong. “Go get into your pjs while Karl takes a shower. That way when this is all done, mom ain’t hollering at you while we try to sleep.” 

“You’re just trying to hog him again.” 

“If that was the case, I’d tell you to buzz off so I can get him in bed.” He paused over the wording, cheeks flooding with color. “In his bed, I’m not meaning— just go get dressed.” 

“Then let go of me, stinky!” 

Sapnap dropped Josephine to her feet, watching her rush across the room and toward her own. Once sure she was gone, Sapnap crouched down to slip his hands under Karl’s armpits, pulling him to his feet. After the grateful smile, Karl leaned into Sapnap’s side, letting him lead them up the stairs and into the hallway. Quiet from his obvious exhaustion, Karl’s head dropped against Sapnap’s, looking ready to fall asleep in the arm around his waist. 

“Listen,” Sapnap started, making sure to be blunt and direct for his kind friend. “If you’re too tired tonight, we don’t have to do this. I’ll tell them you’re exhausted and we can do it tomorrow morning.” 

“No, it’s okay. I want to spend time with your mom and sister.” 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself for some stupid fashion show.”

He felt Karl’s head shake against him. “They spent their day doing something for me, and I want to repay them. These people are special to you, and so they’re special to me, too. If I have to stay up a little later to make them happy, I don’t mind.”

“You’re too…” 

Admirable flipped through Sapnap’s mind, his throat swelling with an emotion that threatened to choke him. Karl cared enough about Sapnap to try and build a real relationship with his family. Sharing his week had already been a big enough ask, and using him for ‘free labor’ had made Sapnap feel a little guilty. But here, Karl went above and beyond, willing to sacrifice sleep just to make Josephine smile. What kind of a friend did that but Karl? 

“Come here, nimrod.” Sapnap yanked Karl closer for a hug, pressing his face onto the crook of the warm neck above him. 

“Hey, I haven’t showered yet.” Karl didn’t pull away, keeping his voice quiet in the soft moment. “I’m still covered in farm stink.” 

“I don’t care.” Because he didn’t; Sapnap ignored how they smelt, or the dirt and sweat clinging to their skin. The soreness in his bones took a back seat to squeeze Karl tighter, letting his eyes close when the affection was returned. After a few seconds of the shared moment, Sapnap sighed and dropped his hands, wiggling out of Karl’s grasp. “Alright, go get ready for your fashion show.” 

“You’re going to watch, right?” 

Sapnap rolled his eyes even as he nodded. “Obviously. I’m heading down there once you get your ass in the shower.” 

“Sir, yes, sir!” 

Karl saluted with a beaming smile, jogging toward the guest room. Sapnap felt his lips rise from the energetic behavior, wondering where Karl kept the extra reserve of energy. Knowing he’d never figure it out, Sapnap moved out of the hallway and back downstairs. While he wanted his own clean up, he’d have to wait until Karl finished his to keep from both getting a cold shower. Instead, he reserved the idea for after the fashion show, choosing to find a good place on the couch for the performance. He stopped in the doorway when finding his mother already in the large room, shaking his head at the plethora of clothing splayed out around her.

“Mom, he’s only here for a week. How much did you buy?”

 She waved him off, holding up one of the shirts before laying it out next to a pair of black jeans. “Well, now he’ll have stuff for the next time you bring him by.”

“He’s gonna offer to pay you back again,” Sapnap said, walking deeper into the room to stand by her. 

“And I’ll make sure he doesn’t try that a third time.” From her serious tone, he knew she meant it. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to do anything for you and your friends. I’m just excited to baby my boy’s friend. Feels like you’re a teenager again, and I missed that.”

“You used to complain about doing my dirty dishes and picking up my laundry.” 

“I said your mother, not your housemaid .” Then she leaned over, pinching his cheek with enough pressure to sting. 

He yanked his face away, rubbing the pinker area while he spoke. “Karl’s not going to tell you, but he’s super tired. I’m not letting him do this for more than an hour, then I’m pulling the plug. And we’re not getting up before ten, because Karl really needs a good night of sleep.”

“Oh.” His mother slowed her sorting of the clothes, watching Sapnap with something he couldn’t place tinting her gaze. “You’re quite protective of Karl.” 

“Huh? No, that’s… he just sucks at taking care of himself. I have to look after him.” 

Her smile stayed light, and Sapnap wasn’t sure why his neck burned at the attention. “Of course. I really raised a good son.” 

Before he could scramble for an answer, she laughed, winking at him while she wandered into the kitchen. There was only a heartbeat between her exit and Josephine’s entrance, the blaring rainbow sleepwear almost painful to his eyes. 

“Karl, I’m ready!” Her hands shot out like a pose, though her smile slipped into a pout when only Sapnap greeted her. “Where is he?” 

“Still taking a shower, obviously. He’s not magical.” 

“Ugh, that’s so lame. I wanted to show someone my cute pjs.” 

“Excuse me, I’m right here.” When Josephine wrinkled her nose, Sapnap reached out, snagging her by the waist to swing her around. “What, your brother isn’t cool enough now? I’ve won three of Mr. Beast’s videos, how many has Karl won? Who is the coolest YouTuber you know?” 

Her giggling sprouted through her shout after he tossed her onto the couch, squealing when he started to tickle her. “Karl is better! And George was right— you're super stinky!” 

“George said that? Wait until I get home. But until then, you’re suffering his punishment.” 

“No! Get away you smelly pig.” She continued to laugh during the playful fight, Sapnap only pausing when hearing Karl’s sweet voice. 

“To be fair, he totally blended in with the cows.”

“Watch yourself, Jacobs.” Turning away from Josephine, he ignored her foot shoving against his cheek to wiggle his fingers at Karl. “Keep running your mouth, and I’ll take you both out.” 

“I don’t know, I think we could take you,” Karl replied, tongue poking out from the side of his mouth like a tease. Sapnap wasn’t surprised by Karl’s silky sleepwear, knowing comfort while he slept was always Karl’s first priority. He looked relaxed, some of the sleepiness in his eyes washed away in the shower. Still, Sapnap planned to keep a close eye on his energy levels, willing to pull the plug the second he saw Karl yawn. 

Josephine rolled off the couch, quick to rush to Karl’s side. “Let’s make him take a bath; smelly pigs hate that.” 

“Trust me, there’s nothing I wanna do more. And stop calling me a pig before I tell Karl about the Oreo incident.” 

 “That’s not fair!” Face scalding, Josephine tugged on Karl’s sleeve. “Can we start the fashion show now?” 

“Sure. Want to pick out my first outfit?” Karl asked, smiling when she shrieked and rushed to one pile of clothes. 

“Mama! We’re starting!” Then Josephine pushed the chosen clothing into Karl’s stomach, rocking on her feet. “This was her favorite, so I hope you like it.” 

“Can’t wait to try it on.” With a final glance up at Sapnap, Karl turned away, moving up the stairs to change into the new attire. Sapnap settled onto the couch, knowing he wasn’t planning to move a muscle unless the house caught fire. 

The fashion show was… interesting. His mother and sister’s taste in style wasn’t the best, though farm clothing and basic wear didn’t have to appeal to the Paris runway. Still, Sapnap couldn’t hold back his snort when seeing fringe on some of the jackets, patches of cow-fur on others. Karl took each strange outfit like a champ, twirling and posing to the claps of his family. Blue eyes always sought out his, Karl tilting his head to wait for Sapnap’s shrug or head shake. He didn’t consider himself the most well-versed in fashion, but he knew his friend. Specifically, what would be comfortable for Karl, and what would make his smiles border fake. Each time his friend appeared with whatever his sister or mother chose, Sapnap focused more on how Karl would feel in the clothes over their actual look. 

But spending so much time watching Karl, Sapnap’s mind spun into different thoughts. If he had to choose a second job for Karl after streaming, modeling wouldn’t be off the table. Karl had a good frame to make even the ugliest of fabrics appealing. When his family had picked out something less atrocious, Karl looked…nice. Attractive, on an objective level. He knew he had good-looking friends all over the place; he lived with two of the biggest thirst traps on Twitter. But Karl’s aesthetic kept jumbling Sapnap’s brain. Something stuck out with his features that kept dragging Sapnap’s attention to doe-eyes that sloped in a way that made Sapnap’s fingers twitch with the urge to trace them. His soft cheekbones contrasting the curves of his unique nose, how his smile looked endearing whether it was just his lips or a full teeth grin. Even his ears, something Sapnap didn’t think could hold an appeal, kept grabbing his attention with his dangling earrings. 

I really do have a pretty best friend. Sapnap thought, unsure why the conclusion made his heart beat faster. He shoved down the strange reaction when Karl hopped up the stairs with the final outfit, only looking away when hearing a sharp noise from his mother. 

“Oh shoot. I forgot to give him the vest. Nick, can you go give this to Karl? It’ll look great with the blue button up for the festival.”

“Ugh, but I’m comfortable.” His protest only earned him a pointed look, Sapnap slowly pushing onto his feet to snag the soft fabric. Muscles protested the trek up the stairs, wanting to change paths and flop into his bed. Instead, he kept his feet moving, dragging himself to the ajar door down the hall. His knuckles brushed the wood, only knocking twice before elbowing it open enough to slip through. “Hey, my mom forgot the—”

Words left his brain when he looked up from the mentioned fabric. The low light from the lamp in the room casted a glow too sensual for his brain to separate from the scene in front of him. Karl’s shoulders were bare from the shirt that had slipped down his slim arms, the fabric pooling in the corner of his bent elbows. Buttons that had once kept the front of the shirt together hung without restraint down Karl’s side. The reveal exposed tender flesh that looked pale compared to the sunlight Karl’s face and arms stole throughout the day. Karl’s eyes, falling half-mast in his quiet moment, shifted to Sapnap in the door. His lazy smile stayed small yet alluring, showing how tired he was. If Sapnap hadn’t watched Karl exhaust himself at the farm, his brain would have assumed the expression wasn’t fatigue, but desire. 

Oh, Sapnap thought, unsure where the moisture in his throat had disappeared to. He’s not just pretty…but kinda…

The slight flex of his thighs brushed his jeans a little closer to his groin, stomach clenching at the weird flicker of heat sparking without reason. 

“Hey,” Karl said, Sapnap blinking to clear out the underlying tone that wasn’t there. Any embarrassment or awkwardness at being undressed didn’t show in Karl’s casual demeanor. “Something up?” 

“Uh, m-my mom—” Karl’s shirt falling to the floor tugged Sapnap’s tongue away from his words for a moment, only catching the sentence again when Karl snagged the new shirt and pulled it over his shoulders. “She… this.” 

Karl’s fingers made quick work of his buttons while turning back to Sapnap, eyes opening completely at the offered vest. “She wants me to try on the vest with this shirt?” 

“Mhm.” The lack of words earned Karl’s giggle, Sapnap’s self-consciousness raising his temperature. 

“Wow, Sapnap. Did the sun fry your brain? Now you’re really gonna have to be my trophy wife.”

Laughing at the dumb response, Sapnap shook off the strange reaction when he watched Karl slip on the final garment. Karl blurred everybody’s lines between friendly admiring and romantic arousal. Everyone he knew got hit with Karl’s overt charm. The ‘effect’ had become a joke among their followers and friends, and Sapnap had probably just gotten a heavier dose than normal from the long day and lack of clothes. It didn’t have to mean anything more than Sapnap recognizing his friend was cute. That… had to be all it was.

Closing the chapter before questions could bubble in his head, Sapnap spoke. “After this, wanna watch Hunter x Hunter until we pass out?” 

“Really?” The sparkle in Karl’s eyes made him look younger, reminding him of Josephine when getting a new pair of cowboy boots. “Then let’s go show me off! Come on, handsome.” 

Sapnap’s wrist fit perfectly in Karl’s palm when he grabbed it, dragging him. He let Karl lead him out the room and down the hall to get his family’s approval. 

If Karl was the one asking, Sapnap knew he’d always follow.

Chapter Text

Despite being allowed to sleep in later than the day before, Karl still hated the world when his alarm went off. Groaning and forcing himself to shut off the loud noise, Karl didn’t move from under the blanket, wondering how long he could get away with staying in bed until Sapnap came to find him. The warmth of the sunlight from his window made the sheets a teasing comfort, begging him to keep them company a little longer. 

Though he knew it was well into the morning, Karl didn’t feel he’d gotten any sleep. The sun had moved, but Karl swore his eyes had only been closed for a minute from when he hit his pillow and now. The ache from the farmwork the day before didn’t help convince him to push out of bed. His slow groan shoved from his lungs when he wiggled from the sheets, taking minutes instead of seconds to push into the bathroom. Loose fingers grabbed the toothbrush and toothpaste, slow to coat the bristles to clean his morning breath away. 

Slow to get his brain back online, Karl remembered why he was so sleepy. To Sapnap’s credit, he had suggested Karl go to bed after the first episode of Hunter x Hunter had ended. Karl had struggled to keep his head up and watch, though he’d watched the show enough to know most of it with his eyes closed. Karl had refused to go back to his bed, wanting to spend more time brushing knees with Sapnap and showing off the TikToks he saved on the plane. Being worn down didn’t matter at the time, Sapnap’s little chuckles in the late hours of the night being a quick replacement for actual sleep. When Sapnap had leaned against his shoulder and buried his face into Karl’s neck to muffle his noise, Karl’s eagerness to hear it again wiped away his desire to leave the room. 

“He’s just too cute when he laughs,” Karl said through his brushing, giggling from the sweet memory. 

The lax movement of the toothbrush broke when Karl’s lips stretched from the sound, the brush flinging out of his hand. Stunned at the movement, Karl didn’t kick his reflexes into gear fast enough, his shriek filling the bathroom when it fell into the toilet. Stunned, his eyes stared down at the purple toothbrush, mouth hanging open in shock. He didn’t blink, as if thinking the look would make the unfortunate situation change. When nothing happened, Karl moved over to the toilet paper, scrunching his nose in disgust when plucking it out of the water. The damage was done, and he sighed before tossing it into the wastebasket. After saying a silent prayer to his fallen toothbrush, Karl spit out the rest of the suds in his mouth before he moved out of the bathroom. 

Stumbling into the kitchen, he found Grace cooking away, though the smaller breakfast caught Karl’s interest. “Good morning, Grace.” 

“Oh, hello dear!” She turned around to plant a kiss on his cheek, her smile bright as the sun in the window. “You down here for breakfast? We’ve got some burritos and waffles today.” 

“Both sound delicious.” He leaned back when remembering his half-clean mouth, nervously rubbing his tongue against his teeth. “I just wanted to see if you had a toothbrush I could use afterward? Mine just took a nosedive into the toilet.” 

“Oh, yes! Of course, our extras should be under the sink in Sapnap’s bathroom. Go snatch one and let him know breakfast is ready while I make a plate for you two, okay?” 

“Thanks!” With a quick side hug, Karl rushed out of the room, the growling in his stomach demanding him to make the trip quick. The smell of maple syrup and cooked vegetables begged him to hurry downstairs, Karl only skidding to a stop when hearing the shower coming from the other side of the door. Hesitating, Karl hit his knuckles against the wood, making sure that Josephine hadn’t snuck into the bathroom without him knowing.

“What do you want?” Sapnap’s shout relaxed Karl’s muscles, his hand reaching down to open the door and slip inside the bathroom. “W-what the hell?”

“Oh, it’s just me!” Karl said, brushing off Sapnap’s weird noise when he moved over to the sink. “Your mom told me to come let you know that breakfast is ready. Also, I’m trying to find a toothbrush, and she said they’re under your sink.” 

“Why are they in here?”

“Probably cause it’s used less than the one downstairs.” Karl crouched in front of the sink, lips bunching to the left when he was unable to see the mentioned brushes. He squinted his eyes while pushing some of the items around, but nothing stuck out to him. “Sapnap, can you come help me find them? I don’t want to scare your mom away with my bad breath.” 

“Dude, I’m in the shower.” 

“Which you’re supposed to be getting out of, anyway. Come on, help your buddy out.” 

Sapnap’s sigh was followed by the cutting off of the water, Karl grinning at his little victory. Wiggling in his crouch, Karl glanced over when hearing the pop of the glass door open. A puff of stream billowed out from Sapnap when he leaned out, hand curled around the door to balance his position. The frosted style of the door kept most of Sapnap’s body hidden from Karl’s wide eyes, but the exposed skin of his chest and shoulders was free for him to see. Karl’s mind shot to ‘chest hair’, not used to seeing the splattering of dark curls peppering the new skin. He tried to remember a time that he had seen Sapnap’s bare body so open to his view, but the memories around swimming with his friend or taping a video in water were murky in his head. The water that rolled over off Sapnap’s shoulder and across Sapnap’s nipple left Karl’s mind blank, unsure why the trail had stolen so much of his attention. Mouth dryer than cotton, Karl couldn’t swallow, quick to shoot up to stand when Sapnap met his gaze. 

“If you want me to help, throw me my towel. I ain’t getting out of the shower naked.” 

“Y-yeah, sure. Makes sense. Totally.” He cut off his rambling when yanking the blue towel off the rack to throw Sapnap’s way. Karl winced when it hit his face, but was caught by one hand before it fell to the floor. Karl’s eyes widened when the loss of the extra hand on the door made it wobble. The quick intake of breath didn’t have a reason to happen, unsure if he was worried or interested in the frosted glass revealing more of Sapnap’s torso. 

With a half-smile, Sapnap slipped back into the safety of the shower. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” He wasn’t sure where the force behind the reply went, leaning back against the sink to try and settle himself. 

The weird increase of his heartbeat matched heat collecting in the palm of his hands. His logical side reasoned that the interaction wasn’t a big deal. How many times had he walked in on one of the Beast Crew dressing in-between videos? This wasn’t even the first naked, wet, man he’d seen. Hasan hadn’t been shy with displaying himself while they hung out in LA, walking around in a towel after swimming or taking a shower. Appreciating his body had just been a passing thought, recognizing the hard work his friend had put into his physique. It didn’t meant anything—

“Alright, move over so I can look.” 

Sapnap’s voice cut into his train of thought, Karl losing all of his composure at Sapnap’s presentation. He knew the towel would be the only thing he wore, but having the knowledge didn’t make the effect any less intrusive. Dark blue around Sapnap’s firm waist played up the beautiful shade of his complexion, a little lighter than his arms and face. The attempt to wipe the water from his skin had missed his stomach, letting the bathroom’s light reflect in the droplet hanging in his happy trail. The tighter fit over Sapnap’s thighs compared to his waist made Karl’s head spin, trying to throw measurements in the brain that had lost half of his processing speed. 

I’ve seen Austin naked , Karl thought, as if the desperate reasoning would change the heat filling his stomach. His eyes didn’t seem to care, staying focused on taking in Sapnap’s frame. Despite his best effort, he couldn’t remember feeling so fascinated by Austin’s appearance when losing his clothes. Karl knew that to the mainstream world, Austin was the ‘perfect body type’. He took care of himself to the point of being mistaken for a model, and Karl recognized how attractive he was. But his chest didn’t feel the same tightness appreciating Austin as he did now, noticing the natural curves and strength of Sapnap’s frame. Sapnap was… beautiful . He couldn’t think of another way to separate the feelings he had between the other men he’d seen and Sapnap’s morning look. 

Feeling his knees weaken from the moment, Karl slipped to the side of the sink, quick to drop onto his butt to hide his wobbly posture. “She said it’d be under here.” 

“Hm, makes sense.” Sapnap crouched beside him, resting the back of his thighs against his heels. The split of the towel rose higher on Sapnap’s right thigh, exposing the line of muscle Karl hadn’t needed to know about. Hair covered him with a thickness Karl wasn’t used to, but didn’t mind. His own peach fuzz on his thighs had a blonder tone, and he’d look bare if their naked thighs were pressed together. The thought made Karl snap his eyes forward, trying to stay focused on Sapnap’s large hands shoving shampoo and rolls of toilet paper to the side. “Bro, it’s right behind the shaving cream. Did you even look?” 

“I looked a lot.” At what , he wasn’t sure, but Karl kept the answer vague enough to satisfy the conversation. 

“Nimrod.” A poke of the new toothbrush against his nose made Karl jerk away, looking up at Sapnap’s little smirk. Sitting on the floor made him shorter than Sapnap, a rare shift in their dynamic. The light from above almost gave Sapnap a halo, his wet hair starting to curl in the heat. A second poke at his cheek made Karl hide the skin with one hand, the other reaching up to try and snatch the offending item.

“Give me that, you’ve lost toothbrush privileges.” 

“Pretty sure my mom’s gonna have some words if you tell me to stop brushing,” Sapnap replied, avoiding Karl’s first swipe with a laugh. Huffing, Karl scrambled to his knees to get a better angle, finally snagging Sapnap’s hand against his palm.

“Sapnap, don’t tease me.” His tone intertwined with a whine, leaning closer to get a better grip on the toothbrush. But his weight swayed a little too forward, and both men froze when his nose brushed Sapnap’s from the proximity. Eyes wide, Karl released a quick breath, wondering if Sapnap could feel it against his lips. Their gazes met, but words that could dispense the unexplained tension stayed dormant in his mouth. Though embarrassment nipped at the red of his ears, he noticed that Sapnap had fallen quiet as well. 

Before he could process the new information, Josephine’s fist smacked against the door. “Nick! Mama says she needs you to do an errand for her. Are you almost done?” 

“Fuck.” Sapnap’s soft curse brushed Karl’s cheek before he looked over Karl’s shoulder, raising his volume. “I’ll be right down.”

“Fine, but I’m eating your waffle.” 

“Touch it and I’ll delete your TikTok.” 

Josephine only scoffed at his threat before Karl heard her smaller feet run away from the bathroom, leaving them in their silence again. Whatever spell had settled over them was broken, and Karl laughed a little too loud for the small space before he scrambled to his feet.

“Okay, I’m gonna go save your waffle and thank your mom for—for the toothbrush. Thanks for…uh, helping? Bye!” 

Unwilling to wait for Sapnap’s reply, Karl pushed out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him before he leaned against it. With the toothbrush pressed to his chest, Karl closed his eyes, unsure why he felt he’d just run a marathon. He tried to shut out the shuffling on the other side of the door, knowing he had to be out of the hall before Sapnap found him. Forcing himself to move, Karl tossed the toothbrush onto his bed before he made his way back down to the kitchen. 

“Did you find the toothbrushes?” Grace asked, holding out two plates of food for Karl to bring to the table. Happy to see Josephine’s threat of stealing Sapnap’s breakfast hadn’t happened, Karl settled in the seat from dinner, hoping his blush when he nodded wasn’t noticeable.

“Uh, yeah. Sapnap helped.” He shoved a bit of his burrito into his mouth to give him time to chew and change the topic. “Oh, and he’s coming down in a minute, but Josephine said you needed to tell us about an errand?” 

“Oh, yes. I actually was hoping you two could bring Josie to get her hair done. I planned to, but my job needs me to fax something back at the house, so I’ll be busy driving back there during her appointment.”

“I’m sure he won’t mind,” Karl replied, looking around for the missing sister. “She getting it cut?” 

“Maybe the dead ends. She’s in the horse riding part of the festival, so she wants to get her hair done beforehand. If we don’t get her in today, we’d have to wait until after the festival.” 

“Yeah, we’ll bring her. It’ll be nice to see more of the town.” 

“You’re a lifesaver.” Collecting her purse and keys from the counter, Grace walked over to give him another kiss to his temple. The motherly affection made Karl’s smile grow, happy to be accepted so easily in the warm home. “Tell Sapnap to go to Mackenzie’s place; he’ll know who I’m talking about.”

He blinked at the new name, but nodded when she moved toward the door. “Oh, sure.”

“Nick, Josie! I’m leaving, so come eat your breakfast. Love you!” Her final shout echoed in the house before she gave Karl a wave and left. He didn’t have time to roll over the new questions he had, Josephine’s appearance making him slip out of his seat. Still in her pajamas, and her hair tangled from sleep, Josephine seemed to wake up more when Karl helped her make a plate of food, offering his waffle to keep Sapnap’s protected. 

Once she had poured enough syrup to make his teeth hurt, Karl sat back in front of his burrito. “Your mom says we’re going on an adventure today. Going to the salon to get your hair ready for the festival?” 

“Oh, you’ll meet Kenzie!” The joy in her smile was outlined by the mess of her breakfast. “You two are gonna be friends, because she’s pretty, too.” 

“That’s Mackenzie?” Karl asked, picking up on the name introduced minutes before. She nodded before digging back into her food, the pep in her movements meaning the woman mentioned was someone Josephine liked. 

“God, you’re an actual gremlin.” Sapnap’s teasing insult when stepping into the kitchen was aimed at Josephine, smirking when she rolled her eyes and shoved another large bite into her mouth. Instead of going to the food, Karl watched Sapnap move behind Josephine’s seat, fingers tugging at the untamed curls on Josephine’s head. “You’re gonna get syrup in your hair. Where’s your brush?”

“In my room,” Josephine answered, pausing to lean her head back and look up at Sapnap. “I want two braids.” 

“You’ll get what I wanna do, Munchkin.” 

Karl bit back his smile when Sapnap did as Josephine asked, his skill with brushing and braiding her hair contrasting his normal personality. Others saw Sapnap as having a more brutish mindset because of his style of Minecraft and how he dealt with conflict. Seeing Sapnap’s gentle and intricate movements while weaving the strands made Karl giggle into his last bites of burrito, leaning his chin into hands to watch the quiet moment between the siblings. 

Karl hated breaking the moment, but he knew Sapnap needed to know about his conversation with Grace. “After she’s done with her hair, she needs to get dressed. We’ve got a mission from your mom in town.” 

“Where the hell are we taking her?”

“Don’t swear in front of your sister,” Karl said, though Josephine didn’t seem surprised by the language.

“I’ve got an appointment with Kenzie!” 

Like magic, Sapnap’s demeanor softened, hands slowing at the edge of the second braid. “Kenzie? If we’re going to the salon, why am I doing your hair? They’re gonna need you to have it loose to cut it.” 

While Josephine giggled over the realization, Karl focused on Sapnap’s visible change. Curiosity tilted his head, wondering why this ‘Kenzie’ caused such vivid reactions from each member of the family. He tried to think of a reasonable answer while Sapnap loaded them up into his truck, driving into the center of Maybell Hills. It was possible the person in question was a family member, one who lived closer to town. But from everything he could scrape together from his memory with Sapnap, the name never came up when recalling family events. Whoever the woman was, the family loved her, and Karl wanted to get to know the person who made Josephine skip into the beauty salon. 

“Hello!” Josephine shouted, lacking any semblance of embarrassment when the whole shop turned toward them. He admired the innocence of the seven-year-old, who still didn’t have the self-conscious insecurities the rest of the world did. 

“Josephine. Lovely to see you again, sweetie.” An older woman greeted her grand entrance with a crinkled smile, though her eyes shifted into shock when turning toward Sapnap and Karl. “Oh my, is that our hometown star?” 

Several shouts of greetings and overlapping compliments aimed at Sapnap dragged out his modest blush when he rubbed his nape, using his other hand to wave at the hairdressers. Karl’s pride grew at the recognition, knowing Sapnap deserved every bit of praise. While he loved Dream and George like his own family, he knew their dynamic had the habit of leaving Sapnap in the background. Seeing the townsfolk treat him like the main character left Karl buzzing with a pride he knew wasn’t his to feel. 

“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” 

The young southern drawl dragged Karl’s attention to the back of the salon, surprised at the woman weaving through the stations. The floral heels matched her flowing blouse, which was tucked into her high-waisted jeans. Her long blond hair had perfect beach waves, make-up not needed for her natural beauty. Blue eyes popped out with the perfect shade to get lost in, and Karl’s gender envy sparked for the first time in years. She held an effortless grace despite walking in heels, like she was used to being the star of the show without realizing all eyes were on her. 

Her hometown beauty didn’t lose any of its appeal when she stopped in front of them, curling her manicured nails to punch Sapnap’s bicep. “Here you are, making all my ladies hot under their collars. I outta kick your butt out, cause none of em’ are gonna concentrate worth a lick with you here.”  

“Ouch.” Sapnap laughed and pretended to rub the spot, shrugging his shoulders with a sheepish grin. His ease radiated off his relaxed frame, reminding Karl of how Sapnap acted about Sylvee and Hannah. But there was something a little different with their looks, like both had a secret neither were willing to reveal to the rest of the world. “Not my fault I’m attractive.” 

“Your head gets any bigger, and we’ll have to widen the doorway.” Her eyes moved to Karl, blinking long lashes that he knew were natural. “I’m sorry, are you here for an appointment?” 

“Nah, he’s with me.” Karl almost stumbled when Sapnap hooked his arm around Karl’s waist, pulling them closer to prove they were a pair. “Karl, meet Mackenzie. Her parents own this place, but she’s the one that keeps the lights on with her big brain.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Karl said, quick to extend his hand to the woman, who sent him a welcoming smile. 

“Always nice to have a new face in this dust bowl. Though if you’re hanging with Nick, I might have to question your sanity.” 

“Shut up.” Pushing her with his free hand, Sapnap looked up at Karl and gave a crooked smile. “This is Karl, one of my best friends. Honestly, he’s been my lifeline way too many times when I’ve been out in Florida. So don’t try to chase him away.” 

“What do I look like, Annabelle ?” Mackenzie’s mention of the cow straightened Karl’s back, brows furrowing when she laughed. “How is my favorite girl doing? I owe her an apple next time I stop by your pa’s farm.” 

“Does she still try to get into your parent’s yard when your apple tree is in bloom?” Sapnap asked, and Karl’s brain made an unpleasant connection while she nodded. 

“Oh, you’re…” Karl flipped his tone from hesitant to excited when she arched her brow at him. “You’re Pa’s neighbor?” 

“Well, used to be. I moved closer to town to help out with this place a few years ago. But Nick and I used to spend all our summers up at the farm when we were kids. Right until graduation, I’d say.” Wearing the information like a badge of honor, Mackenzie turned her pretty gaze to Sapnap and grinned. “We were basically attached at the hip from diapers to diplomas.” 

“Aw, how cute,” Karl said, hoping that his tone matched his smile. The truth was, it really was an adorable story. If he wasn’t hearing it straight from the original source’s mouth, he would have assumed it was a rom-com plotline. He knew growing up in a small town probably meant generations stuck together, explaining why Mackenzie and Sapnap had such a long friendship. If given the dynamic for the plot of an anime, he would be supporting the ship all the way. 

So why did he feel so uneasy about hearing more? 

Sapnap’s blush and soft scoff saved him from his pondering. “Then you got super bossy and I ran to Florida to get away from you.” 

“Running away, how typical of you.” She turned to Karl, shaking her head. “How do you deal with this hothead?” 

“He’s not that bad,” Karl said, reaching out to tug the brim of Sapnap’s hat. “He’s cracked at Minecraft, and he’s pretty cute. That’s all I need to ignore the ego.” 

“I should have never let you two meet.” 

“You love us.” Sapnap’s grouchy huff earned Mackenzie’s laugh, the woman leaning over to flick his cheek. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got a pile of paperwork with my name on it. I love my parents, but they’re not the best with tax forms.” 

“I say just commit tax evasion; it always works for me,” Karl said, giggling when Sapnap squeezed his side. 

“You’re too cute. Better be careful, Nick, or your friend’s gonna get those little apple cheeks eaten right up.” Mackenzie’s tease seemed out of left field, Karl blinking at the tensing of the arm around him. Her eyes sparked with intrigue, but it was replaced with realization while she tapped her lips. “Oh! Hey, why don’t you bring Karl down to Starry Point Lake? Jackson’s having a party, and he’d love to see you.” 

“Who calls him that? I only know him as Jack-Off.” Karl snorted at Sapnap’s crude nickname. “I haven’t seen him in a long time. Surprised he hasn’t blown himself up with his auto repair shop.”

“He’s not eighteen anymore.” Then Mackenzie looked at Karl, giggling. “Southern boys, amirite?” 

“The closest thing I’ve got back home is a friend from Ohio named Foolish,” Karl said, thinking about how often he caught Foolish doing something weird. “But yeah, same kind of idiot.” 

“Well, I hope to see you both at the lake later. We’re gonna shoot for six, but come at any time!” 

“Sounds like fun,” Karl replied, unsure how to take her excited reaction. 

The short time he spent with Mackenzie had been pleasant, proving hospitality wasn’t dead everywhere. She was like a summer day; bright and something everyone looked forward to. The strange need to find something to smudge the perfect image made guilt bubble through his stomach. She had been nothing but kind to him, and Sapnap seemed to enjoy her friendship. Why would Karl want to find anything negative about her? A hint of disgust over his impulsive thoughts caught the back of his throat, Karl falling quiet to let Sapnap take over the conversation. 

“I’ll see if my mom needs me for anything tonight. If we’re free, we’ll swing by, but don’t make any promises for me.” Then Sapnap took a step toward the entrance of the salon, dragging Karl with him. “We’re gonna wait out by the benches, so just send the munchkin out there once she’s done.” 

“Or maybe I’ll just adopt her as my little sister. Sure she won’t mind.” Sapnap ignored Mackenzie’s tease, shoving his hand into his pocket to pull out his wallet. The crip hundred dollar bill floated onto the counter while he walked by, Mackenzie’s laughter lining her shout at his retreating back. “That’s too much, you showboat!” 

“She’s so loud,” Sapnap muttered when they made it back into the sunshine, keeping Karl pressed to his side while guiding him to a set of benches by the salon’s stairs. “Glad to know some things never change.” 

“She seems nice,” Karl said, taking his spot on the bench warmed by the noon rays. 

Sapnap’s grunt when sitting next to him didn’t give him insight of what he thought of Karl’s assessment, the conversation trailing off. The street wasn’t quiet, and when Karl leaned back and closed his eyes, he could hear how alive the town was. People were shouting and laughing in the distance, dogs barking and slow moving cars providing background noise. Karl’s muscles relaxed in the soothing sounds, the sunlight on his face letting his mind wander. Mackenzie’s playful personality came to mind, making questions he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to pop up. 

One was too tempting to keep from slipping out. “Is she single?” 

“Who, Kenzie? Karl, not to be a dick, but she’s totally out of your league.” 

“Can’t be true if—” 

His comeback cut off without permission, a snare around his heart squeezing too tight to mention facts he wasn't positive were true. It seemed to line up with the previous information Sapnap gave him about him losing his virginity to a neighbor in high school. Plus, Annabelle seemed to like her. Despite the information making perfect material to tease Sapnap, the words wouldn’t come out. Like deep down, he didn’t want Sapnap to confirm the truth. 

Instead, he switched gears. “Do you still talk to her? Like, when you’re in Florida?”

“Uh, sometimes.” Sapnap’s arm flexed under his head, and it was only then Karl realized Sapnap had slipped it behind him as a cushion between Karl’s skull and the metal bench. “Twitter messages mainly, but we’ve texted when she sends me pictures of my sister. It’s not consistent or anything, but I like knowing what’s going on around here.” 

“Oh, that’s… pretty cool.” He wasn’t sure if he trusted his own words, though Sapnap seemed to believe him. 

“I guess. Uh, did you—” Sapnap paused, and Karl peeked one eye open to watch his hesitation. “If we don’t gotta help my mom out with chores tonight, do you wanna go to the lake? We don’t have to—”

“Oh, I’m totally down for a lake trip,” Karl said, smiling at Sapnap’s hopeful look. “A party without Karl Jacobs is just lame.”

“Can't argue with that.” Sapnap’s easy agreement made Karl laugh, snuggling into the arm underneath his head. 

He couldn’t wait to meet the people who made up Sapnap’s childhood. 

~**~

By the time six o’clock crossed his phone screen, Sapnap had already started filling the cooler with him and Karl’s snacks for the party. While Monsters were snuggled in between Sapnap’s beer and Karl’s hard seltzers, random packs of sour candy and chips took up the rest of the space. He left room for the two sandwiches his mom had offered to make for the party, despite doubting they’d want to eat such a heavy meal when swimming in the lake. Sapnap shook his head at the weird combinations, smiling when thinking over his and Karl’s bickering at the corner store. Though he still thought his candy choices were better, he had conceded when seeing how excited Karl was for the party. Offering to buy Karl’s snacks made his friend squeal and jump on his back in the middle of the store, hugging him until Sapnap’s face nearly overheated from the added temperature. 

“I got them!” Karl’s shout made him lift his head from the bed of the truck, watching his friend wave the plastic-wrapped sandwiches over his head. His shoulders each held a colored beach towel, and Sapnap noticed Karl had changed into a larger shirt (another one from his high school closet) that almost covered his purple swim trunks. 

“What took you so long?” He asked, Karl skidding to a stop before offering the food for Sapnap to fit into the cooler. 

“Sorry, your sister needed help with her nails. She was having a hard time choosing between red and purple, and I obviously told her purple.”

Laughing at his choice, Sapnap finished packing their supplies before he shut the tail end and spun to face Karl. “She’s going to miss you spoiling her when you go back to North Carolina.” 

“I’ll make sure she gets my number before I leave so she can call me when she needs fashion advice.” 

“Just what we need, a little Karl Jacobs Jr. running around Texas.” Sapnap smirked while they walked around the truck, his hand snatching the passenger door open for Karl to hop in. 

Karl stopped next to him, pouting at the comment. “What’s wrong with that? I’m lovely, and there should be hundreds of mini mes making this world a better place.” 

“That implies there’s a big you, which I don’t see.” To prove his point, Sapnap reached out, fingers wrapping with ease around the slender frame of Karl’s torso. With a yelp, Karl jumped back, smacking Sapnap’s hand away. 

“You’re gonna talk to me about size?” Prepared for the short joke, Sapnap’s world was thrown for a loop when Karl jerked his thumb to the truck behind him. “Everyone knows why guys get big trucks. They’re just trying to compensate for something smaller.” 

“That’s just bullshit,” Sapnap said, eyes narrowing when Karl slowly hummed and tapped his upper lip. 

“I don’t know, if you look at the proof in the statistics—” 

“Oh, I’ll show you proof.” 

Karl squealed when Sapnap launched forward, palms snagging around his ribcage before he could scamper away. Sneaky fingers didn’t hesitate to start moving, tickling down the slender stomach without remorse. Karl shrieked out his laughter, trying to wiggle away while backpedaling. Sapnap didn’t let him escape, both backing into the side of the truck before Sapnap used his body weight to pin Karl in one place. With his thigh wedged between Karl’s to keep him from getting away, Sapnap shoved his hands up into Karl’s armpits, knowing how ticklish he was in the sensitive spots. No matter how Karl arched or tried to squirm from his perch, Sapnap’s leg hiked him up too high to get any leverage. 

“If you’re gonna talk shit about it, I’ll whip it out and make you eat your words.” Sapnap’s threat only made Karl laugh harder, hands smacking into his chest. “So either admit I’ve got the best dick ever, or suffer the consequences.”

“Fine, fine! I give!” Slender hands wrapped around the back of his neck when Sapnap slowed his tickling, Karl’s voice a wheezy pant from the ongoing ‘torture’. “You’re massive! Too big for me to ever handle.”

“That’s what I thought, bitch.” 

Grinning at his victory, Sapnap let his hands slip down to Karl’s waist, both of them catch their breath from the fight. Karl whined before dropping his head forward, letting it rest against Sapnap’s shoulder while his giggling slowed. It wasn’t until Karl’s soft puff of air crossed over his collarbone that Sapnap realized their position: Karl’s weight rested against his thigh and chest, arms lazy while relaxing around Sapnap’s neck. To anyone walking by, they may not have looked like two friends, but… lovers caught in an intimate situation. The thought spiked his anxiety, though the thrill wasn’t from panic, but adrenaline. Like something about the idea made his heart flip. His thigh flexed where it sat between Karl’s, able to feel the soft flesh warming his own. The revelation punched into his stomach, and he forgot how to breathe when arousal dribbled low in his stomach. 

“Okay.” Tightening his hands on Karl’s hips, Sapnap slipped his leg away, using the strength in his arms to lift Karl off his feet. “Up you go.” 

“Sapnap!” 

Ignoring the protest, Sapnap carried Karl to the passenger seat, stepping on the rail bar and lifting him up with ease onto the seat. Proud of his improvements since starting his new work-out program, Sapnap glanced up at Karl, catching the wide eyes and parted lips over the display of strength. Despite the lowering sun, Sapnap still caught the rosy color of Karl’s cheeks, flustered by being moved around with ease. 

Grinning, Sapnap leaned his arm on the door, knowing his cocky tone filled his words. “Nah, I think you’d handle me just fine.” 

“Y-You’re gross,” Karl said, foot lifting to push Sapnap’s chest away. 

Feeling too good from making Karl stutter, Sapnap hopped off the step, unable to hold back his grin when walking around the truck. He climbed up into his own seat, starting the engine before he snuck a glance at Karl. Though he wasn’t facing Sapnap, Karl’s embarrassment ran rampant through his twitching fingers in his lap and how he curled himself to face his window. With the curled movement, Karl looked ready to sleep again, making Sapnap frown. 

Unable to stop himself, Sapnap reached out, knuckles brushing Karl’s jaw to catch his attention. “Are you sure you wanna go? I know we’ve had some late nights, so we can stay home.” 

“No way.” Karl leaned his head into the touch, looking up at Sapnap to protest the offer. “I’m excited to meet your friends.” 

“If it gets too much, let me know. We can leave whenever you want.” When Karl only nodded, Sapnap dropped his hand to the wheel, pushing the truck into drive before pulling away from the house. 

Though he thought Karl would follow his new pattern of sleeping during their drives, Karl turned toward him, head resting on the back of the seat. “Do you know who's going to be there? Like, anyone I should be aware of?” 

“Eh, probably not. I didn’t really have a problem with anyone when I left, and I doubt Kenzie would invite people who would cause problems. Probably just my old football buddies, or the ones I’d hang out with at the bull arena. Or both, like Jack-Off.”

“You said that name before,” Karl said, smiling over the childish insult. “I doubt his mother wrote that on his birth certificate.” 

“Well, I’m not gonna call him Jackson .” 

“Were you not friends with him?” 

Sapnap shook his head, merging onto the long road that would lead them toward the lake. “Nah, nothing like that. Jack and I were actually pretty close in high school. We hung out, mainly cause we did a lot of the same things. He’s a good guy, and had a mean spiral when we were younger. Plus, we used to swap the title of best bull rider whenever the festival came around.”  

“Wait, you rode bulls ?” Karl’s head popped up, eyes widening. “Like, you climbed on top of them and let them ragdoll you?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I think Jack’s still in the bull riding scene, so I won’t be surprised if he takes a gold medal at the event this year.” 

“Holy honk, you’re crazy.” Karl’s dazed reply made Sapnap chuckle, eyes staying on the road despite feeling Karl’s gaze on him. “You’re not gonna participate this year, right? I don’t really want to see my best friend die in front of me.” 

“Why would I? I haven’t been in one in years, and I’d probably get kicked off after three seconds. I used to ride pretty good, but that was when I was a teenager. And I don’t have the same motives as back then.” 

“What, money?” 

“Nope; most of us did it to catch the eye of a girl. I don’t have anyone to impress anymore, but back then… nothing was cooler than getting the longest time without breaking an arm. Actually, even getting injured could earn us a date, depending on the girl.” 

When Karl fell quiet, Sapnap wondered if he was trying to process the tradition that wasn’t casual in most parts of the world. Sapnap, taking space from his Texan roots, could understand why others would find the sport crazy. But there was heritage and history in bull-riding here, and Sapnap would never regret how many bruises and injuries he’d earned from being a reckless teenager with his friends. 

“Did Mackenzie watch the bull rides?” Karl finally asked, Sapnap grimacing at the unpleasant memory. 

“Oh yeah, made sure we knew how bull riding was just ‘testosterone driven hospital rides’,” he said, shaking his head. “She was always standing outside the arena, yelling some colorful words each time another one of us hopped onto the bull. I always got the worst of her mouth. She’d wait by the exit gate to chew my ear off while cleaning up my wounds.” 

“She’s a lucky girl, getting to help you out. Mackenzie must have really worried about you.”

“That’s one way to put it.” 

He left out how often her hand would end up smacking the back of his head while throwing medical supplies at him. Her help would come between rants about the girl Sapnap planned to impress with his skill. The insults and questions of his sanity only got worse when she became the only person in Texas who knew he also wanted to catch the attention of the guys riding with him. 

Though Karl put together some of the clues about Mackenize and Sapnap’s romantic past, only Dream and George knew the truth behind their night together. While there was a natural embarrassment that tagged onto anyone’s first time, the sexual crisis that stained Sapnap’s memory always turned his stomach. It hadn’t been Mackenize’s fault; Sapnap’s anxiety over his growing interest in guys affected his body’s reaction. Everything before their first time, between soft kisses and hands skimming under clothes, had felt safe. Sapnap tried to focus on how much he enjoyed being with her when he handed her his virginity. And at first, he almost tricked himself into believing nothing was wrong. It wasn’t until a stray thought of wanting firmer muscles and a muskier scent tugged on his brain that Sapnap fell into a panic attack. 

Like everything else in their friendship, Mackenzie took the terrible experience with grace, never holding his ill-timed revelation against him. She stayed with him all night, helping him untangle his attraction to men without judgment. Holding his hand while they layed in bed, Mackenzie let him fall apart against her shoulder. While their romantic relationship withered in the morning sunlight, their friendship got even stronger, Mackenzie promising to keep his secret during junior and senior year. She was the person he went to the first time he kissed a guy, Mackenzie teasing him for chickening out on ‘going all the way’ with his hook-up in college. Covid, moving to Florida, and gaining popularity in the Minecraft community stifled his ability to explore more. No matter how often she encouraged him to make time for himself, Sapnap shifted the thought about his sexuality to the back of his mind.

When pulling up to the lake, Sapnap grinned at the familiarity of his old stomping ground. The small beach by the water couldn’t compare to Florida, but the sand was smooth enough to walk without shoes. Though the trees surrounding the lake attracted people for the scenery, Sapnap’s friends had picked the spot for a riskier reason. To the right of the lake’s entrance had a path that led to a cliff overlooking the water. The tree that grew along the edge of the rocks had a swing tied to its thick limb, Sapnap proud of the rope he’d climbed up and knotted a decade before. 

His truck parked along the make-shift dirt lot, knowing it was a strategic placement for when the sunrise finally disappeared. Fog lights and high beams would be used when the sun went too far behind the hills in the distance to keep their party lit. Sapnap glanced above them when slipping out of his truck, catching the moon trying to reclaim the night sky. Music swayed through the humid air, enticing Karl from his seat to stare at the lake party in awe. One quick scan of the people hanging around the dock brought back memories of high school, naming each of them silently while he clocked the matured faces. Even Jack looked a little older, though his clean shaven face slowed Father Time more than Sapnap’s beard. 

Painted nails tugged on Sapnap’s sleeve, eyes blooming with his excitement. “This is so cool.”

“Are you nervous?” Sapnap asked, though smirked when Karl shook his head. It wasn’t surprising that the star of every show had no fear walking into a party where he knew nobody. Him being the social butterfly was a nice contrast to Sapnap’s more demure nature, like two pieces of a puzzle. “Alright, let me grab the cooler and we’ll go meet everyone.” 

“Yippee!” Karl buzzed in his spot while he waited for Sapnap to swing behind the truck, dragging the container out before he launched forward. His arms wrapped around Sapnap’s bicep, and the thought of ‘girlfriend hold’ slipped through Sapnap’s mind before he waved off the weird thought.

Instead, he led Karl down the beach, grinning when some of his friends started to shout his name once noticing his arrival. Not willing to shake off Karl for his free hand, Sapnap lifted the one with the cooler in greeting. He placed it down once they got to the other supplies brought by his friends. They had enough stuff to last all night, and everyone wouldn’t mind sharing as the hours dwindled away. It was the sense of community that made Sapnap miss home something fierce, though he wouldn’t trade living with Dream and George for the world. 

“There you are!” 

Mackenzie’s bright smile when she jogged over matched her excited wave, unashamed of the curves she showed off in her approach. Sapnap understood how attractive his high school sweetheart was, even if his body didn’t fall for her allure. The baby pink bikini top was too dry if she’d gone into the water, though he doubted she’d still be wearing her jean shorts if she was planning to swim yet. He almost scoffed at the messy bun holding back her golden locks, sunglasses propped on her head. Sapnap could only wonder why she still needed them so late in the evening. Shorter in her bare feet, Mackenzie didn’t let their height difference change her confidence when tackling into his side. Her hug pressed her chest into his pectoral, only hooking one arm around him while her other hand kept her drink steady.

“Hey, be careful,” he said, digging his heel into the dirt to keep from falling into Karl.

The warm embrace around his bicep disappeared when Karl stepped away, and Sapnap swung his head back to catch the other’s soft smile. “Mackenzie, you are gorgeous in that color. Really makes your eyes pop.”  

“Aw, you really think so?” Mackenzie hopped over to toss Karl his own hug, leaning up to ruffle his hair. “You’re quite the cutie yourself. Think we’ve gotta keep you away from the boys, or they’ll try to take you home to their momma.” 

“Is that supposed to scare me? I’m a treat for any mother.” Karl laughed when she flicked his cheek, Sapnap rolling his eyes at his playful tease. The good mood weakened when Karl didn’t return to his side, his arm flexing when it tingled from the missing touch.  

“Well, well, well. If it ain’t Mr. Big Shot.” 

The familiar energetic lithe of Jack’s voice made Sapnap look back to Mackenzie, who pretended to gag when Jack dropped an arm around her. Though Jack wasn’t full of muscle or overwhelmingly attractive, his true ace-in-the-hole was his charm. Jack could sway birds off the trees, and have them sing him a song while he chopped down their home. His cowboy hat had no reason to hang on his head while at the lake, but Jack wore it like a second skin. Lacking a shirt with the pride of a bodybuilder, Jack stayed respectful with his hand curled in a loose fist next to Mackenzie’s shoulder. 

“What are you doing here, Jack-Off?” Sapnap asked, grinning when Jack scoffed at the nickname. 

“Don’t worry, Nick. I kept your sweetheart safe while you were off touring the world.”

Sapnap laughed at the stupid tease. “I’m pretty sure Mackenzie could kick your ass, so I don’t think she needs you playing Prince Charming.” 

“Ain’t that the truth.” Beaming while he held his hand out, Jack gave a friendly shake before his eyes drifted to Sapnap’s side. “Oh, well hello there.” 

Sapnap dropped Jack’s handshake, eyes flickering between Jack and Karl when the former offered his hand. Their touch lingered, and Sapnap’s spine straightened after noticing the pinker tone of Karl’s cheeks. A quick look to Jack made him realize why; Sapnap knew the ‘Jackson grin’, his tell-tale sign of interest, from a mile away. His smile was his best feature, only improving his southern charm to anyone who he aimed it at. It only took one signature look and a few pretty words to get most men or women (as Jack hadn’t tried to hide his bisexuality) under his spell. Sapnap hadn’t cared, even if Jack flirted with the people he had low-key liked at parties or football games. Too insecure to go after anyone in high school, Sapnap never minded Jack taking the guys he liked. But Karl, who wasn't a romantic interest, just his best friend…

He felt a little different. 

“Can I catch your name? I don’t think you want me to keep calling you ‘pretty boy’ all night.” 

“I’m Karl. You must be Jackson.” 

“No one ever calls me Jackson to my face because they know better.” Smooth as butter, Jackson moved to Karl’s side, arm finding a home around Karl’s waist. “But just for you? Guess I’ll let it slide.”

“You’re so gross,” Mackenzie said, Sapnap finding himself agreeing despite his teeth pressing too tight to get the words out. 

It wasn’t the worst line, and Jack reminded him of Sam whenever he popped into a Discord call. Jack wouldn’t cross the line with someone that wasn’t interested. He’d been raised by a woman that would never tolerate otherwise. No girl or guy Jack courted complained about overstepping or trying to make unwelcome advances. If Karl wiggled away from the fingers tapping his hip, Jack would let him go and never bring it up again. Sapnap stared at the touch for a moment, unsure if his own hand looked so wrong when he jokingly tugged Karl into him for cuddles.

Mackenzie didn’t seem to notice his internal confusion, moving by Sapnap and nudging his elbow in his ribs. “While Jack introduces Karl to everyone, let's get the tiki torches set up before it's too dark. That way they’re not too busy talking to you to forget his name three seconds after meeting him.”

“I don’t know.” He tried to let his focus shuffle through the half-baked reasons floating in his mind. “Our friends can be dicks to new people, and Jack’s the leader of the band of idiots.” 

“That’s okay!” Karl’s rush to soothe his concern only made Sapnap want to protest more. The smile Karl rolled out wasn’t too wide, lacking the genuine happiness his voice tried to force out. “We’ve been together for days; you should spend time with… with Mackenzie. I can hang out with Jackson.” 

“Yeah, I’ll keep those horndogs away from him. Karl’s in good hands.” Another mention of the grip on Karl’s hip dug at something under Sapnap’s ribs. 

“Alright then, Jackson . Show me off to your little friends.” 

Karl’s giggle was one of Sapnap’s favorite noises, so he wondered why the sound grated against his eardrum when Jack caused it. Tongue heavy like lead in his mouth, Sapnap watched the duo wander toward the crowd hanging out at the end of the old dock. Jack didn’t miss a beat launching into a new conversation, but Karl’s head turned back to glance at Sapnap over his shoulder. The little smile held more truth than any of the words he exchanged with Jack, and Sapnap’s back unwound from its tense position from before. Sighing through the strange reaction, Sapnap waited for Karl to turn back around before he pressed his palm over his eye. The strange energy in his chest felt knotted and prickly, though he didn’t know why. Karl always made him feel better , so having the bitter aftertaste in his mouth after he walked away didn’t make sense.

“You ready, or are you gonna keep sulking like a baby without his favorite blanket?” 

Mackenzie’s words cut through the noise in his head, Sapnap looking over at her to scowl. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing I think you’re ready to talk about,” she said, knocking their shoulders together before walking toward the cars. “Now get the torches out of Jack’s truck and help me keep this place from going dark.” 

“You are definitely never meeting George.” 

“Is that the British one? Has he hooked his man yet, or are they still playing their silly game?”

Sapnap tried to ignore the clench in his chest when yanking the torches a little too hard from the open bed of the truck. “They’re dating.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. Finally!” She laughed after her whoop, crawling up into the truck to get the lighter before hopping down. “Even I knew they liked each other, and I’d never even seen them.”

“Yeah, everything’s great.” He winced at his snark, knowing Mackenzie picked up on it when she slowed her pace back toward the beach. 

“Hey.” Her hand was soft when curling on his arm, waiting until he looked over to her to speak again. “It is great. Your friends found love with someone you know are good people, since it’s with each other. And I know this little scowl on your face right now isn’t cause you want them to break up, right?”

“Obviously not. I’m the one who begged Dream to get George a ring way back at Christmas.” He had almost gotten on his knees to make his best friend agree, knowing Dream was still too in his own head to think George would give him a second glance. Despite how hard he had worked to get his friends together, the fallout tugged on his lungs hard enough to make him fight to keep a straight face. “They’re happy together.” 

“They’re happy together with you ,” Mackenzie countered, though Sapnap shrugged off her touch and walked forward to the edge of the beach. 

“It’s fine.” Slamming the first tiki torch into the ground, he let the bamboo dig down until it buried into solid dirt. “There’s nothing to talk about.” 

“Well, it's either them or we tackle the whole Karl thing.”  

Her blunt tone made him blink, looking back when she moved over to light the planted torch. “Karl?”

“Oh, okay. You don’t know yet.” She grabbed his wrist, pulling him to the next spot before tapping her foot on the ground. He didn’t need another incentive, working on the next tiki torch when she spoke again. “You’ve always had a type, you know.” 

“Everyone has a type,” he replied, unsure if he liked what she was implying.

“But yours is pretty obvious. You’re into confident people with soft features and a pretty laugh. Someone who makes you be social without demanding you change your quiet nature. Any fella who can make you laugh might as well offer his hand in marriage.”

“Th-that’s not…”

“And the hair . Don’t you think it’s strange that you only started flirting with me the summer I went brunette?” Her face knew more than her words said when the new flame glowed over her arched brow. “Blonde for fifteen years, and you didn’t bat an eye. I go for a little bit of brown, and you almost tripped over your boots the first time you saw me.” 

Face hot with the call-out, Sapnap rushed past her and shoved the next torch hard enough to crack the bottom piece of wood. “That was just a coincidence.”

“Name one red-head you’ve liked.” Not letting him think of a famous person with the mentioned tone, Mackenzie continued. “How bout a fella with black curls? Pretty girl with long blond strands? Anyone you’ve ever kissed that didn’t match Karl’s lovely shade of brown—” 

“This isn’t about him!” Sapnap whipped around to glare at her after the last torch shoved into the thick sand, keeping his hand on the wood when realizing he hadn’t hit the dirt underneath. “Karl is... he’s funny, and social, and all those other stupid things you said. He’s the best thing in my life. But he’s not— he’s just my friend. That’s all. So stop trying to make me chase something that’s not there.” 

“Nick—”

“ Mackenzie .” His use of her full name paused her lips, though the narrowing of her eyes proved she didn’t like his interruption. For once, he didn’t care about being rude, refusing to let her ruin his favorite relationship. “Let it go.” 

“...Fine.” She moved over to place her hand onto the torch, wiggling it before she sighed. “Use those Minecraft muscles and get this thing into the dirt. Don’t need to light the whole forest on fire cause you forgot how to put your back into it.” 

“What are you, Smokey the Bear?” 

Whatever her response was didn’t reach his ear when a familiar laugh caught his attention. While grinding the torch down into the ground, he looked over his shoulder, wanting to know what caused Karl to throw his head back with such joy. He was too far away to hear the conversation, too far away to catch which of his friends made Karl’s face light up in pure joy. For once, he connected to Dream’s frustration with the ocean that once kept him away from George. Though it was only a beach standing in their way, Sapnap hated his inability to reach out and snag the hem of the t-shirt that kissed Karl’s hips. 

The clearing of Mackenzie’s throat snapped him out of his daze, her pursed lips and head tilt saying more than her words. “Wow.”

“Shut up.” His flustered breath didn’t make sense, nor the sudden uptick of his heartbeat. 

“Yeah, yeah.” She reached out, linking their pinkies against the tiki torch while she caught his worried gaze with her own softer look. “Just like before, I won’t say anything. But I think you should, if you don’t want to see Jack steal him.” 

When he didn’t respond, she turned to the wick of the torch, working on lighting it. It only took two tries for the lighter to click on, and he nearly ripped her arm off when dragging her back toward the rest of the group. Karl’s head popped up from the others first, the edges of his lips twitching further up when their eyes met. Sapnap’s breath came easier when he yanked off his socks and shoes before hopping onto the faded wood, though nearly fell off when Jack jumped on his side. 

“What’s with the fancy cap?” Jack yanked on Sapnap’s brim, laughing when Sapnap smacked his hand away. “Where’s your Texan pride?” 

“I’ve been trying to get him to wear his cowboy hat,” Karl answered, hand covering his smile after Sapnap playfully glared his way. “But with no success, sadly.” 

“It’s cause he doesn’t think he’s got the chops to match my good looks when I wear one.” Jack’s joke was finished off with him rubbing his smooth cheek, winking Karl’s way. Sapnap fought the urge to bite his lip, wondering if Karl would agree with the opinion. 

Karl didn’t let the thought linger beyond a heartbeat. “Sapnap looks good in anything he wears. I’d pay him to be a model for my merchandise, but he gets too shy.”

“He does have that big-heart-dreamboat look, doesn’t he?” Jack didn’t mind the shift of attention onto Sapnap, hugging his shoulders. “Bet he could have gotten homecoming king back in high school, ‘cept he skipped out on the whole dance. Won’t even come to the Barn Bash, and that’s the best part of the festival!” 

“Barn Bash?” Karl asked, and Sapnap flinched at the event he’d tried to sweep under the rug. “What’s that?” 

“You didn’t invite him?” Mackenzie poked his cheek, her nail pushing the skin until he jerked his face away. “Nick, that’s the biggest night of the whole festival.” 

“I didn’t know if they were doing it this year,” Sapnap answered, which was partially true. He hadn’t confirmed it with his mother, but he also didn’t ask. 

“The Barn Bash is Saturday night, where everyone gets together in the big renovated barn and celebrates the festival. There’s food, alcohol, and a live band. It’s all free, too!” Mackenzie’s excitement rubbed off on Karl, who spun to face Sapnap with brightness in his wider gaze. 

“We’re going, right?”

“Uh…” Sapnap tried to hide his discomfort with a shrug. “I don’t know. Have to check in with my mom and Pa to make sure they won’t need us to bring the animals back to the farm that night.” 

“That doesn’t mean Karl has to miss out,” Jack said, shrugging. “I can bring him if you’re busy. Kenzie and I will keep him company, make sure he doesn’t get too wild on the dancefloor.” 

“You…” The bubble of something unpleasant filled his chest. Sapnap glanced away from Jack’s hopeful look, catching the dim sunlight reflecting on the lake’s water. Impulse made him reach out, noticing Jack’s towel and phone were on one of the dock chairs. Smirking, he snatched Jack’s hat off his head before shoved his free palm into the bare chest. “Need to cool off, buddy.” 

“Fuck!” Jack shouted before he flopped back into the lake water, the splash hitting the group on the dock. Karl laughed through his scream when jumping behind Sapnap to shield from the water. When Sapnap tossed the hat to the side, the others took the hint. In seconds, clothes were strewn over the chairs and towels, shouts of excitement filling the night sky while joining Jack in the cooler water. Sapnap grinned when Jack flipped him off, seeing his smile before he tried to dunk one of their friends into the lake. 

“That wasn’t nice.” Karl’s lecture lacked impact with his humorous tone lining his voice. “But it was pretty funny.” 

“It’s going to be hilarious when I throw you in.” Sapnap spun to face him, ignoring the way his heart tried to break his rib cage when his palms slipped under the hem of Karl’s shirt. “So take this off or lose it in the lake.” 

“Okay, okay!” 

Laughing while he jerked away, Karl backed up from his touch, though Sapnap felt the minor shiver against his fingertips when they dragged over bare skin. His attention darted up to Karl’s face, breath stalling at the sleepy eyes that watched him. Karl’s hands balled in the oversized fabric, and their gazes only broke when Karl’s shirt obscured his pink cheeks while popping over his head. Pale tones looked tanner in the final orange rays of daylight, and Sapnap wondered if Karl realized he looked like his skin was glowing. 

Karl was… ethereal.

But the image was lost when Karl threw the shirt at Sapnap’s face. The splash of water caught his ear before he could remove the blocker, and he missed Karl’s submerging into the lake. Not wanting to miss out on more time with his friend, Sapnap tugged at his own shirt, hating the short time he had to take his hat off in order to undress. Ignoring the wolf whistles when he stretched his arms over his head, Sapnap tugged on his hat backwards. He didn’t care about his friend’s chanting for him to jump in, taking his time to empty his pockets. When he bent over to fold his phone into his towel, his gaze moved to the water, catching Karl’s eyes already watching him. Curious, Sapnap tilted his head, which seemed to snap Karl out of his trance before Karl dunked himself back underwater.

The movement made Sapnap chuckle, unsure why the shy response sent tingles through his stomach. Before he could simmer in the feeling, a sudden weight crashed into his back, making Sapnap stumble before balancing himself. Mackenzie’s laugh when wrapping her arms around his neck warmed his ear, bare legs quick to find their place on his hips. Gone were her shorts, though he knew wet jeans were worse than death. 

“Charge into battle!” She called out, pointing her arm over his bare shoulder. 

With a laugh, Sapnap hooked his arms under her thighs to keep her secure before he let out a warcry. Fueled by her scream, he ran down the dock, jumping with Mackenzie into the cool water. As soon as the shock from the drop into the lake wore off, Sapnap let her go, both paddling back to break the surface. A splash of water hit his face, and Sapnap glared over at Mackenzie’s smirk before he tried to dunk her back under. After the playful fight and checking to make sure his hat hadn’t been lost in the water, Sapnap looked over her head, easily finding Karl. Like he had grown up with the group, Karl only used one arm to keep himself floating, using his free hand to show off his earrings to two of Mackenzie’s friends. The sight of Karl’s easygoing smile while hanging out with his school classmates loosened any tension left in Sapnap’s body. 

The night didn’t speed by, but Sapnap still felt like he didn’t have enough time to catch up. The music continued to lull the group into easygoing conversations, everyone taking turns sitting on the dock before jumping back into the water to cool off. Sapnap regretted jumping with his hat into the lake when he felt it drying too stiffly on his head, knowing it would need a thorough cleansing before he could wear it again. But even that couldn’t ruin his mood. Sitting on the dock, Sapnap kicked his legs in the water, watching his friends playing chicken in the lake. The darkness had consumed the sky, forcing his friends to turn on their fog lights to help the tiki torches light up the beach. 

A slow scan of the darker water made him scowl, mouth parting to call the name of his missing friend. “Karl? Where the fuck are you?”

“Oh, your friend?” Mackenzie’s co-worker, once on the cheer squad, caught his attention when she passed to grab a beer from her cooler. “Jack and some of the others brought him up to the swing for the tradition.” 

“Y’all still do that?” Sapnap asked, though turned sheepish when she gave him a teasing look.

“Says the one who made the tradition mandatory?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Yanking his legs from the water, Sapnap blocked the brightness of the fog light to look up at the cliff. Even in the darkness, he picked up on Karl’s frame easily, his head shaking at the rope that Jack held out to him. Mackenzie’s hand on his back seemed to help lower his shoulders from his ears, but his discomfort quickened Sapnap’s pace. Jogging off the dock, Sapnap hissed when a rock from the beach dug into the bottom of his foot. Ignoring the minor pain, he cupped his hand around his mouth, shouting up toward the hill he was moving toward. “Jack-Off! Leave Karl alone until I get up there.”     

“Aw, you don’t trust us with your buddy? You know I’ll teach him how to hold the rope right.” 

Despite Jack’s offer, Sapnap didn’t answer, focusing on getting up to the flat surface of the cliff. Karl’s relief covered his face, though he tried to hide it with a smile. “Hey, handsome. You come up here often?”

“Not as much as I did when I was a kid,” Sapnap replied, wishing the idiot from a decade ago hadn’t made the rope swing rule for newbies at the lake. 

“We’re just trying to indoctrinate him into our little family. Look, I’ll show him how easy it is!” 

Jack’s shout when he curled the rope around his hand and swung over the lake echoed into the night. Used to taking the risk, Jack flowed through the air, hitting the water with practiced ease. The others in Jack’s group jumped without the rope, cannonballs and dives followed by cheers of adrenaline. 

Mackenzie gave Karl one final squeeze to his shoulder, and Sapnap knew her smile was genuine. “You don’t have to jump if you’re scared. Nick will fight all of them for you, okay?” 

Then, after retrieving the rope to hand over to Sapnap, Mackenzie took her own leap off the cliff. Sapnap watched her to make sure she landed safely, waiting until she swam out of the way to look back at Karl. 

“You wanna walk back to the dock?” 

Karl shook his head despite his frozen frame. “This really isn’t a big deal. I do crazy stuff for Jimmy all the time. I literally stripped in Antarctica and jumped out of a plane!”

“People get freaked out by random stuff. You know how I am whenever I have to fly for work,” Sapnap answered, ignoring the cheers of Karl’s name below to focus on his friend’s shaky breath. “Can you tell me what’s throwing you off about this?” 

“I do want to do this, but — it’s stupid.” Karl only spoke again when Sapnap nudged his side, words spilling from shaky lips. “The rope is messing with my sensory stuff. It's so rough, I think I’ll let go over the rocks and hurt myself.” 

“See, not stupid at all,” Sapnap said, moving behind Karl while tightening his grip on the swing. “And it’s an easy fix, cause you’ve got someone whose hands have grabbed this rope hundreds of times.” 

“How’s that gonna help me?” 

“Because you’re going to koala hug me, and I’ll swing us both into the water.” 

“What?” Karl spun around, letting Sapnap start his normal process of finding the right spot on the rope to grip behind him. “Like, wrap my arms and legs around you and just… hold on?”

“Yup, exactly. Arms around the neck, legs over the hips, and then just hold on tight. Like I said, I’ve done this a hundred times.” Ready for the extra weight, Sapnap glanced up at Karl and lowered his voice. “Trust me to keep you safe.” 

And, after a silent swallow, Karl moved closer. His fuzzy arms skimmed Sapnap’s neck when finding their secure hold along his nape, hesitating before hopping off the ground. Sapnap’s knees bent to accept the new weight settling on his hips, Karl’s chest pressing against his from how tightly he wrapped around him. The bare skin touching his was warm, long ago losing its goosebumps from the lake water. Sapnap closed his eyes, wondering why the chill still ran down his spine. Not wanting to linger on the thought, Sapnap widened his stance and hopped once, hiking Karl higher up on his torso before feeling Karl slot into place against him. 

He tugged the rope taut, foot finding the knot at the bottom of the swing before Karl’s voice warmed his ear. “I always trust you.”  

His smile when jumping off the cliff took over his full face, safely letting go once sure Karl wouldn’t get hurt in the dismount. Karl’s laughter was almost a shriek when they went under, Sapnap quick to let go in order to make sure his friend didn’t inhale water from his giggling. He didn’t let any time between them emerging from the lake slip by before he swam over to Karl, hands cupping his cheeks to do a quick assessment of the other’s face and neck for any accidental injuries. 

But Karl’s laugh made it hard for him to concentrate. “That was amazing!”

“Are you okay? Anything feel weird? Mary’s a nurse, I can have her check you out—”

“Sapnap.” All of his focus scattered when Karl let the wave of the lake push him into Sapnap’s chest again, kissing his cheek. “I’m okay, promise. Thank you for taking care of me.” 

The normal affection that Karl gave to all of their friends shouldn’t have felt so overwhelming to Sapnap, whose eyes widened when Karl hugged him in the water. He barely remembered to keep them bobbing in the waves, only snapping out of his daze when Jack and the others swam over to congratulate Karl on the jump. While Karl leaned away from the safety of Sapnap’s neck to interact with their friends, Sapnap peered over his shoulder, finding the knowing blue eyes of Mackenzie on the dock. Her smirk and gentle head tilt made his stomach twist. Paddling arms twitched in the water from the urge to wrap around Karl’s back, as if protecting him from whatever allegations her silent expression made. Too unsure over his evolving emotions, Sapnap looked away, his hat jarred when resting his head against Karl’s cheek.

When the night ended, everyone did their part in collecting the trash around the dock and beach, refusing to leave any trace they’d been there. Sapnap forced Karl’s sandwich in his hand before making him sit on the back of his truck, knowing his friend hadn’t eaten throughout the day. The last thing he needed was Karl passing out due to hunger, and Sapnap having to carry him into the house. Shouts of goodbye and tires hitting pavement filled the space, until only he, Jack, and Mackenzie were left at the lakeside. 

“This was so much fun!” Mackenzie, back in her shorts and a shirt Sapnap knew wasn’t hers, tugged Karl down to hug her. “You two better say hi to me at the festival.” 

“Stop by her booth for a good time,” Jack said as a joke, and Sapnap glanced at her in surprise.

“You still run the kissing booth? Cause I ain’t putting in another shift when your dumb cousin shoots an arrow into his foot.”

“Aw, don’t say that.” Pinching his cheek, Mackenzie snickered. “We had fun, didn’t we?” 

When the memory of their first kiss popped into his head, Sapnap scoffed. “Whatever.”

“It was nice meeting you all,” Karl cut in, eyes flickering between Mackenzie and Jack. “I had a lot of fun getting to learn more about Sapnap in high school.”

Jack’s tease came lightning quick when he sauntered closer to Karl, hand clapping over his bare knee. “I ain’t just Nick’s side character, you know.”

“Oh yeah?” Karl asked, not pushing off the friendly touch.

“If you wanna hear some really crazy shenanigans I got into when we were younger, just gotta ask.” Karl squeaked out a laugh when Jack snuck a side hug in, though Sapnap noticed the hand that stayed splayed on Karl’s lower back. “And since you didn’t go on the swing with me, you better save me a dance at the Barn Bash.”

“Well…” Karl curled his hands on the edge of the tailgate, leaning closer to Jack while he grinned at the taller man. “I hope I can cash that in, Jackson.” 

Sapnap’s tongue pressed against the back of his teeth when Jack erased a chunk of space between his and Karl’s face. “There’s just something really pretty about the way you say my name. Kinda wanna hear it more.” 

“We’ll see if we run into you at the festival,” Sapnap answered, moving over to grab Karl’s hand and lead him off the tailgate. He waited until Karl was mid-hop before tugging him his way, disconnecting the hand from Karl’s back. “For now, I’ve gotta get Karl home.”

 “Bye guys!” Karl kept waving until shutting the door of the truck, Sapnap letting Jack and Mackenzie leave the lake first before he turned on his engine. As soon as the radio clicked on, Karl reached for his phone, connecting it to bluetooth while he rambled. “Hey, I’ve got this song I wanna show you. Jackson showed me on the dock, and it’s super cute!” 

“You—” Sapnap cut himself off, unsure if the words on his tongue would come out as friendly. Veering away from the question marks over Karl and Jack’s friendship, Sapnap tightened his hands on the wheel. “You really fit in with everyone tonight.” 

“I was trying my best, honestly. You don’t really talk about your childhood with me, so getting to come here feels… sort of special. Like I’m special to you.” 

“Cause you are,” Sapnap said without thought, though Karl shook his head. 

“I am to Sapnap . But this wasn’t your YouTube persona. This was… before that. There’s a difference between being important to Sapnap, your career, and being special to Nicholas—er, I mean Nick.” 

“Nicholas is fine.” He wasn’t sure if hearing Karl call Jack by his legal name bewitched his lips to speak, but he didn’t take back the comment when Karl went silent. “I don’t really care if you use it when it’s just you and me.” 

“Are you sure? Cause yesterday you said it was only a family thing.” 

Knowing the sudden shift of thought drifted too close to the topic he refused to speak about with Mackenzie, Sapnap huffed and focused on the road. “Well, who says you won’t be family one day?” 

“Oh.” 

Karl’s quiet surprise halted the conversation, phone dropping to his lap when his eyes deadpanned to the windshield. Sapnap’s mind flipped back over his words before he flushed. He hadn’t meant to make it sound like a proposal, despite them joking about marriage a week ago. Something about the offer in the truck didn’t feel so unrealistic. Sapnap wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but he’d only had one beer throughout the night hours ago. When he slowed at a traffic light, his eyes turned to Karl, surprised to find his stare already on Sapnap. The cut of the streetlight didn’t help Sapnap recognize the hidden emotion in Karl’s expression. Something in the look made Sapnap want to press, but fear kept his tongue numb in his mouth. 

After a blink, Karl’s emotion shifted, lips tugged into a teasing smile. “Technically, we’ve been engaged for years, and you introduced me to your grandfather. So I would hope I’d be family soon.” 

“Shut up.” Scoffing, Sapnap turned back to the street, realizing the light had turned green. 

“Okay… Nicholas .” 

For a delusional moment, Sapnap wondered what it’d feel like to trace the lips that whispered his name with such affection.

Chapter Text

“Karl Jacobs.” 

Karl stopped when Grace pointed the spatula at his nose when he walked into the kitchen. At the look of disappointment, Karl held his hands up, wondering how he could have upset the lovely woman ten minutes after waking up. “Uh… yes?” 

“In what world did you think you could waltz into my home and not tell me about your birthday?” She asked, eyes narrowing at her accusation.

“Oh, that.” Karl laughed, relaxing over the small problem. “To be honest, I kind of forgot it was my birthday.” 

Grace wiggled the spatula before turning back to the stove, flipping the large pancake in the skillet. Karl’s mouth watered at the size, stomach grumbling with desire. He hadn’t been lying about his birthday; Karl had been having so much fun in Texas, the days slipped by without thought. Even as she pointed it out, he almost wanted to keep pretending he wasn’t aware. The week was meant to be about Sapnap, and keeping his mind occupied from the tangled conflict back in Florida. If Karl’s birthday took center stage, he knew it would drag away from what Sapnap wanted to do for his week back home.

But Grace didn’t seem to be on the same page. “I swear, most of the time I say that phone being glued in Josie’s hand is a problem. This might be the one instance that Twitter and their trending tag was a positive thing.”

“Oh, I didn’t even notice.” Because he hadn’t been on his phone for most of his stay in the Texan home. 

A shuffle by the kitchen’s doorway pulled his attention from Grace, finding Sapnap yawning while he walked in. The lack of his hat threw Karl off, his grin growing while taking in the bed hair. The color was lighter than the last time he saw it, the softer look making his fingers twitch. Sapnap’s hand scratched along the curve of his stomach, his thick wrist lifting the baggy shirt he wore. His shorts hung lower than normal, and Karl’s smile slipped off in shock, the peek of his dark happy trail teasing his unwavering gaze. He knew he needed to look away; Karl was almost ogling his best friend with his mother three feet away. The blunt realization finally turned his head, cheeks hotter than the pan Grace slipped the pancake from. 

She saved him when spinning to Sapnap, her hand curling on her hip. “And you . You’re also on my list.” 

“List?” Sapnap smacked his lips together, eyes flickering to the pile of food on the counter. “List for pancakes?” 

“List for people who didn’t tell me it was Karl’s birthday.” 

“Oh, that.” 

Karl giggled at Sapnap’s dumbstruck look, though Grace wasn’t as amused. “How am I supposed to give him a real Texan party with such short notice? You’re making me look like a terrible host.” 

“In my defense, I barely know my own birthday,” Sapnap replied, scratching the back of his neck. “I only got a party this year cause Hannah’s is the day before mine.” 

“Oh, I see.” He ignored the pinch of sadness over the comment, choosing to keep the mood light. Wanting to tease Sapnap, Karl stepped closer to him, forcing his lips into a fake pout. “So I’m not important enough to remember? You really didn’t know?” 

Sapnap’s eyes flickered over Karl’s face, lips twitching with hesitance before he sighed. “Technically no, but…”

A gentle tap against his chest made Karl glance down at the phone resting there. When he looked back up, the silent nod was enough for Karl to pluck the phone into his possession. Flipping it over, he clicked the screen on, pleasantly surprised when ‘Don’t forget Karl’s birthday, nimrod’ sat as an alert. Sapnap had made his birthday a calendar event on his phone, with a reminder alarm.

“Aw, Sapnap…” Karl whispered, toes curling in his socks when handing back his phone.

Sapnap’s eyes drifted to the window, unwilling to face the endearing action head on. “I put this in last year when you got mad I didn’t know it.” 

“And look what it got you.” Before Sapnap could ask, Karl jumped forward, wrapping his arms around Sapnap’s shoulders for a hug. His face buried into the warm cheek beside his, eyes fluttering shut from his happiness. “Thank you for remembering.” 

“Yeah, uh… ha-happy birthday, Karl.” Strong arms pulled him in and slotted them together, Karl melting into the touch without a fight. Being held by Sapnap in wrinkled sleepwear and terrible morning breath was exactly what he wanted for his birthday. He didn’t need anything else to feel content, sighing while his muscles relaxed into Sapnap’s care. 

“How sweet.” Grace’s comment made Karl blink out of his fuzzy headspace, breath catching when he realized they weren’t alone. Trying to keep his reaction casual despite his embarrassment, Karl looked over his shoulder, unsure what reaction he was prepared to see. Grace’s gentle glances between them, and the close hold they still kept despite the audience, made Karl’s heartbeat skyrocket. Still, he refused to let his panic show, wanting to stay in the safe embrace until Sapnap forced them apart. 

“I have yours in there, too,” Sapnap blurted out, as if worried his mother would get upset about the special treatment. Karl, who was always better with reading others, knew her smile was too soft to be about Sapnap’s concern. 

“We’re definitely having a party for Karl,” she said in conclusion, making a decision that only she knew about. 

“That’s okay.” Karl paused when Sapnap dropped his arms away from his waist, mourning the loss before he continued. “Really, I don’t need anything. You housing me here for the week is enough.” 

“Even if we don’t have a party, a nice dinner is a must. We’re going to give you the birthday treatment you deserve.” Her eyes shifted to Sapnap, and a new edge to her tone tugged on Karl’s ear. “Actually, now I think about it… I should make him my homemade birthday cake. What do you think?”

“What?” Like a truck drove into his chest, Sapnap’s body tensed up, eyes staring without blinking at Grace. “Mom…”

“Nick.” She tilted her head, fire Karl couldn’t place filling her gaze. “I think Karl deserves a cake. It’s tradition.” 

“He doesn’t— we’re not even— ” The anger that bursted out of Sapnap’s cut off sentence almost made Karl jump from the rise in volume. He caught a flash of panic across Sapnap’s expression before it sharpened with his glare. “Why would you say that?”

“Well, one of us has to.” 

“No, we didn’t!” 

Fearing the growing argument, Karl pushed himself between the two stubborn Texans, hands out in peace. “I really don’t need a cake, or even dinner. Whatever you have in the fridge is totally okay for me! The last thing I want is for my birthday to cause you two to fight.” 

Despite his offer, Sapnap’s frown only grew, his arms crossing over his chest like he needed protection. Karl hated feeling so far away from Sapnap, when minutes ago they were in such a friendly space together. Sapnap wouldn’t look at him, trying to burn a hole in his feet instead. Karl ached to see the sleepy green eyes from before, wanting to smooth the furrowed brows from their pinched position.  

“Sweetheart, you’re not doing anything wrong.” She moved forward to give him a side hug, leaning up to pepper his temple with a kiss. “If you don’t want us to, we won’t do the cake.”

Karl glanced over at Sapnap, hoping the fake cheer fooled everyone in the room. “I don’t need the carbs weighing me down.” 

“That’s fine, but while you two go food shopping, don’t be afraid to change your mind.” 

“Food shopping?” Karl asked, not aware of the plan Grace nodded over.

“Well, of course! You’re not eating cheese whiz and leftovers from last night.” She moved across the kitchen, pinching Sapnap’s cheek. “And since Nick is getting such an attitude with his mother, he’s going to take you to the harvest market.”

“What’s wrong with the store?” Sapnap asked, closing his eye before yanking his head out of Grace’s touch. 

“Karl deserves fresh ingredients for his birthday dinner. Or do you want to argue about that, too?” 

Sapnap matched her challenging stare in silence for too long. Karl’s stomach twisted from his fear of another argument starting. He wanted to protest again, but he somehow knew that it wasn’t his place to interrupt. There was something bigger about the moment he wasn’t aware of. The mention of tradition didn’t feel crucial when she said it, but Sapnap’s violent reaction proved he was missing pieces of the conversation. Karl hated having things out of his grasp, especially when it came to Sapnap, but he didn’t know his place in the current climate. 

For the first time since stepping into the home, he didn’t feel welcome. 

“I can’t go out,” Sapnap forced through his teeth, hand reaching up to touch the crown of his head. “My hat got wet last night, so I don’t have anything to wear until I soak it.” 

“Good thing I finished with your other hat last night.” She moved around him, though spoke to both from over her shoulder. “Get some breakfast in your bellies while I go get it from upstairs.” 

“Mom, I’m not—” 

But Grace walked out before he could protest, showing what she thought about the conversation. Karl bit back his smile at Sapnap’s pout, tugging on his sleeve while dragging him toward the offered food. Sapnap’s scowl didn’t leave while he shoved the huge pancakes in his mouth, and Karl wondered if he even bothered to chew the delicious breakfast. Karl cut his into small pieces, savoring the meal he didn’t often get to eat. He’d only gotten through half of his pancake before Sapnap was pushing out of his chair, snatching his plate and cup to dump into the dishwasher. 

Sapnap spun around when Grace appeared again, hands holding the cleaner version of the cowboy hat Karl found days ago. “Alright, good as new! And it’ll look fantastic when you take Karl to the harvest market.” 

“Great.” Sapnap’s disgust of the attire dripped off his tongue, quick to find a solution when staring at her hands. “Can you clean my other hat? It’s soaking in the sink upstairs.” 

“Of course. Might take a day or two, with the festival starting tomorrow,” Grace answered, her challenging eyes daring him to say something about the timeline. 

Sapnap’s grimace kept his lips still, though he didn’t move to take the hat. Instead, he spun on his heel when walking toward the front of the house. “I’m changing, then going to clean out the stuff from last night so we have room for the groceries. Just… text Karl the list.” 

“I’ll be right out!” Karl called, shoulders flinching when hearing the slamming of the upstairs door. He tried to wrap his head around how the morning turned upside down so fast, but nothing added up. His concern curbed the appetite, Karl glanced down at his remaining pancake, pushing it with his fork.

“Oh, none of that long look.” Grace moved over to the table, brushing dust Karl couldn’t see off the brim of the cowboy hat. “Nick’s mood has nothing to do with you. I might have pushed a button he wasn’t ready to press, yet.” 

“What do you mean?” He asked, watching her sigh before she took the seat Sapnap hadn’t pushed in from his anger. 

“As a mom, I just want to see my baby boy happy. But sometimes he gets in that big old head of his and doesn’t see what’s right in front of him. It’s not always easy to get him out of there, like when a snake gets stuck in your engine.”

“I’ve never really had that problem,” Karl said, though the sentiment helped him think over a reply. “Maybe this was part of why I didn’t even bring up my birthday. After how he reacted to Dream and George’s announcement, I just wanted to give him an easygoing week.”

“Oh, that situation.” She hummed while she tapped the manicured nails onto the table. “It was a long time coming. I knew those two were in love the moment they stepped into this house. A mother’s intuition and all that.” 

“I wish he didn’t feel so left out,” Karl admitted, knowing the truth behind Sapnap’s discomfort. “He’s really amazing on his own, and I know Dream and George love him. We all do! If he could just see himself the way all of us do, he’d never worry about being alone again.” 

“Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice?” Her head tilted while she scanned something on his face, Karl blinking at the sudden attention. Before he could ask, Grace leaned over and grabbed the hat, gentle when placing it on his head. Bigger than he was used to, Karl’s eyes disappeared under the brim, hearing Grace’s soft laugh before her knuckle tipped it back up to see him. “If he won’t wear it, keep this safe for me today. It’ll help with heat stroke, and I doubt he’ll say no to you when you look cute as a button. I think Nick will get a smile out of seeing you in it. Maybe even make his grumpy mood a little better.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t fall off,” he replied, both sharing a smile before he looked toward the front door. “I should probably get going. He’s not known for his patience.” 

“He didn’t get that from my side.” 

Karl wasn’t sure if he believed that, but he chose to slip out of his seat instead of questioning it. “We’ll be back as soon as we can.”

“I’ll send you the list of everything you’ll need. Maybe even some stuff you might not.”

Karl shoved his feet into the worn-down sneakers by the door before slipping outside, letting out an annoyed breath at the first blast of hot air. He pressed his hand to the top of his hat when jogging down the porch stairs, worried it might blow away from its loose grip. Sapnap had his back to Karl, hiking the last of the supplies from the lake trip into the back of the truck. Despite looking comfortable in the new relaxing outfit, Karl could still see the tension crossing Sapnap’s face when shutting the truck door shut.

“We ready to go?” Karl asked, rocking on his heels when Sapnap turned to face him.

“As good as we’re gonna—” Sapnap paused when his eyes found Karl, mind seeming to forget whatever he planned to say. Karl hoped the hat matched the green plaid shirt and jeans, knowing his shoes might have thrown off the look. 

When Sapnap still didn’t continue, Karl shrugged. “Well, someone should wear it. I think it’s meant for your head, since it’s swallowing mine, but you’re being a little grump, so…”

“I only agreed to wear it at the festival.” Still, Sapnap moved closer, his hands rising up to either side of Karl’s head. Despite his complaint, Sapnap’s lips tugged into an amused smile while bending the cowboy brim up. “Gotta get it the right curve, or everyone’s gonna know you’re a secret city boy.”

“Who said I’m trying to hide that? I’d never trade my Yankees!”

“Sadly.” After Karl’s squawk, Sapnap laughed, scrunching the felt a little more before letting his hands slip down. “Even if you’ve got a small head, I think it looks…” 

Rough hands caught Karl’s cheeks in their descent, and his breath stalled when they didn’t move away. The sunlight that caught across Sapnap’s face didn’t explain the conflicted look looking up at Karl. Wanting to comfort him from whatever negative thoughts were jumping through Sapnap’s mind, Karl tilted his head, resting the weight of it into one of the bigger palms. Words that normally flowed between them without thought jammed up behind his tongue, Karl wishing he could understand the shine to Sapnap’s quiet stare. 

He mourned the loss of the gentle touch when Sapnap dropped his hands, turning away. “We gotta get going.”

“Yeah, sure.” Feeling silly over the weird reaction to Sapnap’s touch, Karl rushed to the passenger side of the vehicle, trying to get his mind off repeating the scene from a minute ago. 

An hour later, he was sure he’d imagined the whole thing. With his fingers swinging the basket from the entrance of the harvest market, Karl tried to understand what had gone so wrong. Sapnap’s demeanor, while scavenging for the ingredients Karl read from his phone, radiated silent irritation. From the moment his shoes hit the dirt of the fields, Sapnap’s scowl didn’t leave his face, letting each of Karl’s offered conversations die between the fresh vegetables. Though Karl loved being around Sapnap, the long silences and stilted atmosphere made him wish he’d stayed at the house. When his gaze wandered to pick up an ingredient, the sensation of familiar eyes on him made his spine tingle. Sapnap watched him, but when Karl glanced over his shoulder, the gaze was already somewhere else. 

After three times of the frustrating pattern, Karl let out a loud sigh, feet pausing in the fallen hay along the pathway. “I’m sorry.” 

“Huh?” Sapnap glanced back at the sudden start of the conversation, stopping when Karl didn’t follow. “Why are you apologizing?” 

“I never planned for my birthday to mess up our trip.” When Sapnap’s eyes widened at the confession, Karl clutched the basket like a lifeline, hoping his eyes didn’t get glossy when he tried to smile. “I know you’ve been upset because of Dream and George not coming. And all I wanted to do this week was make it about you. To show you that you’re not someone we’re going to just… forget about. But then your mom found out, and I didn’t want to be rude to your family, so of course I said yes to her without thinking how that would make you feel on your family vacation—”

“Karl, you think your birthday ruined things?” 

Sapnap’s quick summary of his blabbering made Karl stand up straighter, nodding when he couldn’t get the admission out. Sighing at the conclusion, Sapnap moved back toward him, nudging the basket into one of Karl’s hands with his knee. Confused over the silent request, Karl switched the handles into his right side, then held back a surprised noise when strong arms wound around his back. He was jerked forward into Sapnap’s chest, the force of the motion almost knocking the oversized cowboy hat off his head. Sapnap didn’t seem to care, choosing to drop his bare forehead onto Karl’s shoulder while tightening his hold. 

“Sapnap?” Karl asked, quieter than he intended. 

Sapnap didn’t seem to notice, lips already moving with his reply. “Your birthday isn’t the reason I’m being a dickhead. Fuck, I didn’t want you to think— it’s not about you at all.” 

“Okay,” Karl said, patting his hand against Sapnap’s back. “I believe you.” 

“I’m not even mad that we’re here. This place is one of my favorite spots back home. Actually, I wanted to bring you here, cause I knew you’d love it. But I’ve wasted half of it being stupid.”

Not liking how negative Sapnap spoke about himself, Karl settled his arm across Sapnap’s back, tugging him closer. “It’s okay for you to have bad days. You’re human, nimrod.” 

“I’m being a bitch,” Sapnap answered, though Karl shook his head against the side of the prickly face.

“No, just grumpy.” Karl leaned back enough to slip his arm around and pinch Sapnap’s cheek. “But I like you, even in your Grumpnap arc.” 

The playful dismissal of their earlier conflict seemed to be the right path, and Karl beamed when Sapnap snorted out a laugh. Like magic, Karl watched whatever had captured Sapnap melt off his shoulders, the soft smile that had eluded his face all day tugging at Sapnap’s mouth. He always thought Sapnap was more handsome with a grin than a scowl, and he let his thumb brush the edge of the upturned lips before he dropped his hand.

Sapnap didn’t flinch away from the soft affection, arms only shifting to hold him closer. “Okay, let's get the rest of the shit my mom sent you, and then I’ll show you the fun parts of the harvest market.” 

“We’re almost done!” Karl squirmed to collect the phone he’d shoved in his pocket, letting the screen brighten both of their faces. “Uh, I think just some basil and thyme for the dinner.” 

“What’s the stuff listed under it?” Sapnap asked, trying to read the longer list upside down. 

Karl hesitated to answer, unsure if the information would sour Sapnap’s mood again. “Uh, nothing much. I think she sent the recipe for the cake on accident, but we don’t have to get that stuff—”

“No.” When Sapnap interrupted, Karl glanced across the phone, surprised that Sapnap was already looking at him. “We… should. Get them, I mean.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“It’s your birthday,” Sapnap answered, one arm deserting Karl’s frame to snag the free hand hanging by Karl’s hip. Karl’s stomach turned into cotton candy when thicker fingers slipped between his, unsure how the familiar touch could feel so new to him. “I want to celebrate one of my favorite people the way he deserves. Sorry it took me this long to get over… my own stuff.”

Karl wanted to press, to question what ‘stuff’ had made Sapnap so adamant against his mother’s offer, but he chose to focus on the sweeter part of the reply. “I can’t think of a better way to spend my birthday.” 

“Cool. Then tell me what’s on mom’s list.” 

The mood during the second half of their shopping was lighter, in Karl’s opinion. Sapnap didn’t let conversation dribble off, and kept Karl by his side instead of walking ahead of him. Their jokes and teasing rose through the old awkward cracks, Karl holding the phone too high for Sapnap to grab when he demanded the next ingredient. Arms brushed while they bought hand-churned butter and farm-fresh eggs. Karl laughed when Sapnap grabbed his hips to lift him out of the way when looking at bags of organic flour. The ease in the movements, like Sapnap barely noticed the strength it took to push Karl around, left him a little more breathless than normal. Letting the good vibe feed his movements, Karl snuck his hand into Sapnap’s whenever he could. From how Sapnap stole the basket when it became too heavy for Karl to hold with one hand, he knew his friend didn’t want to lose their connection, either. 

“You’ve gotten so big, Nick!” The cashier looked Grace’s age while she cashed out their supplies, slipping them in paper bags with more care than Karl was used to. “What a fine young gentleman you’ve become. I can’t believe how much you look like your mother. How is she doing, by the way?”

“Mom’s good,” Sapnap answered, and Karl smiled when noticing his pinkened cheeks at her fawning. “Um, Mrs. Sutter? Can we leave our bags here? I want to show Karl the back of the harvest market.”

Karl didn’t know what Sapnap was referring to, but Mrs. Sutter’s quick nod while moving the bags to rest by the register made his excitement grow over finding out. “Of course, darling. Have fun in the maze!” 

“Maze?” Karl let Sapnap snag his hand again, pulling him beyond the market’s canopy and back into the fields. Instead of the marked area for picking their own vegetables, Sapnap veered to the right, following a pinned path that led them toward the high vegetable stalks. The hand-painted ‘Corn Maze’ stained a sign standing over the entrance of the field. “Wow, it’s an actual maze?”

“Yup. They make it for the kids that have to come here with their parents, but I figured you’d still want to do it. Actually, I… before I got stupid with my mom, I planned to bring you here anyway. Seemed like something you’d enjoy for your birthday.” 

“Totally! I’ve never been in a corn maze before.” Karl squirmed in his spot, wanting to rush in and see how quickly he could complete the task. Sapnap, seeming to read Karl’s mind, squeezed his hand, keeping him by his side when he moved to pay for admission tickets. 

“You two have fun,” the older man said, marking both of their free hands with an ‘x’. “If you get lost, just wait where you’re at, and we’ll be sure to find you.” 

“Thank you,” Sapnap answered, nodding politely before they moved past the open gate. Karl’s eyes lit up while they walked into the first pathway of the maze, Karl swinging their arms from his unspent energy. If Sapnap cared, he didn’t show it, stopping at the first crossroads of the maze. “Alright, do you want to go left first or—”

Karl shoved into Sapnap’s side without restraint, arms wrapping around Sapnap’s chest to squeeze him close. “This is the best birthday present ever.” 

“It’s just a corn maze,” Sapnap mumbled, though slipping an arm around his back to keep Karl close. “Ain’t nothing special. I bet Mr. Beast got you a plane or something—”

“This is better,” Karl said, not caring about the interruption to shut down Sapnap’s dismissal of his effort. Cheeks warm, Karl leaned his forehead against Sapnap’s temple, speaking through his embarrassment. “You thinking about something I’d like, not the price tag or how impressive it could be, is what makes this better. I love it.”

“Okay.” Sapnap’s moment of insecurity softened his voice, pressing his own weight back against Karl’s tight hold. “Happy birthday.” 

“You said that already, nimrod.” 

“Is there a law that says I can’t keep saying it?” As if to prove a point, Sapnap turned his face to brush his lips against Karl’s ear, lowering his voice. “Happy fucking birthday, Karl Jacobs.” 

“Wow, so sweet to me. What a good fiance.” Karl smiled through his shiver, wondering if Sapnap noticed his tremble from the proximity. 

Before he could think of a way to change the topic and stop himself from his embarrassing blush, the sound of duel giggles dragged his head up over Sapnap’s. There, a few feet behind them, was a pair of women that looked closer to Randall’s age than him or Sapnap. His heart softened when seeing their little hands intertwined together, neither hiding their relationship when walking by. 

“Betty, look at these little cuties.” The shorter of the older ladies giggled, pushing her glasses up higher on her nose. “Adorable.” 

“Reminds me of our first date here, twenty years ago.” Betty’s eyes danced between them, her grin making her look decades younger. “Hope your relationship lasts as long as ours.” 

“Oh, we—” Karl glanced down to Sapnap, whose face matched a tomato in its hue. When Sapnap didn’t jump away from him, or shut down their mistake, Karl turned his attention back to the women who looked smitten watching their ‘love’. Not wanting to take away from their walk down memory lane, Karl cuddled closer to Sapnap, hoping his smile hid his embarrassment. “I hope so, too. You look really happy.” 

“When you find a kind soul like Sally, you don’t ever let them go.” Betty kissed the wrinkle by Sally’s eye before she waved to them, the older couple disappearing down the left path of the maze. Once they were out of sight, Karl burst into laughter, leaning his weight against Sapnap’s chest while he shook from his snickers. 

“What the fuck,” Sapnap murmured, dropping his forehead on the side of the cowboy hat. “I’m never going to show my face around here again.” 

“Aw, don’t be embarrassed.” Karl patted Sapnap’s cheek, enjoying the prickly beard against his palm. “You should be proud, having such a cute boyfriend. Or are we engaged here? Your sister has to be our flower girl!” 

“You’re so funny.” Karl kept laughing when Sapnap shoved him to the right, the competitive gleam in his eye sending a row of shivers down his back. “You better run, Jacobs.” 

Squeaking over the unspoken threat, Karl grabbed the top of the hat and sprinted down the new row of corn. He knew his laughter made his spot known, Sapnap too fast to lose even without the added assistance. Karl didn’t have time to think about which routes were the correct one, Sapnap’s taunting shout of his name forcing his heart into overdrive. Luck helped him through the first three options, thankful there wasn’t a lot of traffic in the corn maze. Karl stumbled into the wall of corn on his large turn, but recovered fast enough to miss Sapnap’s swipe of his shirt. He darted into the next path, though his eyes turned wide when a dead end with hay bales and more corn faced him. 

“Got you!” 

Karl’s shout echoed in the warm air when Sapnap tackled him into the pile of hay, the two rolling twice before Karl gained him bearings again. His hat rolled to the side from the fall, though Karl chose to focus on the bigger task at hand. Being on the ground didn’t stop the action, Karl trying to fight Sapnap off in order to slip away again. Sapnap took advantage of his position over Karl, using his weight to pin his waist down between thick thighs. Hairy shins crossed over Karl’s thighs, Sapnap hooking his feet along the back of them to keep Karl immobile. When Karl tried to push Sapnap’s chest in order to throw off his balance, rougher hands grabbed his wrists. He knew his fate when his sensitive skin met the scratch of the hay on either side of his head, leaving Sapnap leaning over him with a wide grin.

“You can’t ever beat me in a race,” Sapnap panted out, though his confidence filled his tone. “I’m fast as fuck. You’re never gonna get away from me.” 

“Maybe that was my plan all along,” Karl replied, his body relaxing under Sapnap’s when the truth shaped his words. “Don’t think it’s a crime to wanna keep your attention all for myself. I mean, it is my birthday.” 

“Yeah?” Slowly, like worried about startling Karl, Sapnap lowered down, his elbows finding a home just above Karl’s shoulders. The tight hold on his wrists weakened, but Karl didn’t see any reason to try and break away. Not when Sapnap’s eyes looked warmer than the sunset that had just begun to pepper the Texan sky. “That what you want from me for your birthday?”

“Only if it lasts until my next birthday,” Karl answered, eyes threatening to shut when Sapnap’s thumb brushed a few sweaty strands away from Karl’s temple. “Then I’ll renew my ‘Sapnap attention’ subscription again.” 

“How long do you plan to keep that going?” Sapnap asked, and Karl wondered if he knew how soft his voice had gotten during their conversation. With their chests and hips pressed together, Karl tried not to tremble under how nice the weight felt against him. 

Weak to his heart’s unspoken desire, Karl spoke through flushed cheeks. “Forever, probably.” 

“Karl…” 

Hazel eyes, which looked darker with the shadows of the looming corn around them, watched Karl after Sapnap murmured his name. Though nothing physically held him to the dirt anymore, Karl was frozen in his spot, stomach filled with too many sparks to move. Karl tried to find his breath, but all hopes were lost once the quiet gaze was dropped to the mouth trying to suck air in. Eyelids too heavy to keep open, Karl let his flutter shut, aware of the warm sunlight painting over the flush of his face. He wasn’t sure where his head was at, or why his fingers twitched with the urge to grab something tangible. Contrasting sensations waged war in his body, wanting to tense and melt into the smallest brush of Sapnap’s knuckle against his cheek. Like Karl was something precious, something Sapnap needed to make sure was real before he made his next move. 

A delirious thought echoed in his mind. Is he going to…

The sudden burst of children’s screaming pushed Karl’s eyes open again, jerking at the unexpected intrusion against his eardrums. Sapnap also snapped back, leaning his weight on the heels under his butt while looking behind them. The hand which had been stroking Karl’s cheek found a new home on Sapnap’s thigh, and he wondered why he mourned the loss. Trying to shake off the strange feeling, he pushed up onto his elbows, peeking around Sapnap’s body to watch the group of kids rushing past their dead end. The tense moment only lasted a few seconds, and once all traces of the group faded, Sapnap groaned and flopped into the hay next to Karl.

Rolling his head to his right, Karl bit his lip when noticing Sapnap’s unfocused gaze staring up at the pastel sky. “Sapnap?” 

“Yeah?” 

Even when he answered, Karl doubted Sapnap was fully listening. He was still trying to process the strange moment himself, wondering if Sapnap felt the same confusion of the line between ‘platonic’ and ‘romantic’ intentions. Karl kissed his friends, cuddled with them to show each person how much he loved them. Touch wasn’t the problem, but the intent behind the touch. The spot where Sapnap’s knuckle creased still tingled on Karl’s face, more distracting than any pair of lips that had pressed to his before. Had Sapnap felt the same undeniable spark that had urged Karl to close his eyes and wait for… something? And if so, was it fear or excitement that caused the surprise tinting his eyes? 

Wanting to save his friend from his own thoughts, Karl nudged his elbow into Sapnap’s ribs. “We should hurry up and finish the maze. Your mom needs the groceries to get dinner started.” 

“Oh, shit. Yeah, let’s get out of here.” Sapnap pushed up on his feet, turning to snatch the forgotten cowboy hat from the ground. Then, he offered his hand to Karl, yanking him up once he accepted the assistance. “Let's go home.”

And though neither really thought of the summer house as their legal residence, Karl lingered on the idea of a home being theirs.

~**~

Sapnap wondered if his truck’s speakers would blow from how loud he blasted the music on the way back from the market. Karl didn’t seem to mind, throwing himself into every song with dance movements and mismatched lyrics. His off-beat singing wasn’t going to sell any records, but Sapnap didn’t care, quick to join in on the screaming. He needed the bass to pound into his brain, unsure how to process the flickers of moments that riddled his week with Karl. Things that hadn’t felt like grenades at the time suddenly blew up, demanding Sapnap’s heart to pay attention. The admiring of his physical appearance, how badly he loved having Karl within arm’s reach. How perfect Karl fit in with his friends and family in Texas, and how relaxed he’d been when people mistook them for dating. But it was Sapnap’s inability to look at anything but Karl, laying in the dirt and hay of the corn maze, that finally detonated all of the other confusing signals. 

He wasn’t sure if it meant something. He tried to think of a time George or Dream left him frozen, but the only thing that came close hadn’t even been a moment he was a part of. Sapnap had been the sole witness to the moment Dream and George met for the first time in person, the camera in his hand willing to capture it for the rest of the world. But he doubted the lens would ever be big enough to hold the swelling emotion in his chest watching Dream’s hesitation flip into wonder, finally getting to take in George’s smile with his own eyes. Sapnap had seen George meet others in London for the first time, including himself, but the unfiltered joy George poured out for Dream proved what Sapnap already knew about his two favorite idiots. Their meet-up had slowed down to a still frame for Sapnap, because it was the acceptance that his two friends were truly in love. 

So why had it felt so similar to the moment he had shared with Karl in the cornfield?

“I can carry more bags than you!” Karl gloated around the three bags in his arms, Sapnap rolling his eyes when he walked up the porch steps. 

“There’s only five of them, and I needed to open the door.” 

“Still counts as a win.” Then, like it was his childhood home over Sapnap’s, Karl moved inside and raised his voice. “We’re back!” 

“Welcome home,” Grace said from the kitchen, Sapnap following Karl into the new room. 

“How come you don’t scold Karl for yelling?” Sapnap asked, Grace placing her hand on her hip while they deposited the market bags onto the kitchen counter. 

“Cause he doesn’t sound like a cow giving birth when he announces his arrival.”

“I do not sound like that!” 

Karl popped his head up from the bags, tapping his finger onto his cheek. “I don’t know what that sounds like, but I could see it.” 

“You’re the worst best friend ever,” Sapnap replied, though smiled when Karl laughed at the lame joke. 

Once he collected himself, Karl looked at the clock on the stove, snapping. “Oh, shoot. I told Foolish I’d give him a ring this morning, but I totally forgot. Is it okay if I go call him? Then I’ll help cook dinner.” 

“You don’t have to,” Sapnap said, scowling. “It’s your birthday.” 

“Actually, it might be helpful to have Karl with me in the kitchen.” His mother’s offer threw Sapnap off-guard, her smile warm when looking between them. “Nick needs to go pick up Pa from the farm for the dinner.”

“He’s coming?” 

“After Josie told him it was Karl’s party, he called me, demanding he come celebrate. You know your Pa loves a good birthday dinner,” she replied, opening the first paper bag. “Why don’t you help me get these groceries unloaded while Karl does his business, and then you can go swing by the farm and pick up Pa? That’ll give us enough time to cook everything before you come back.” 

“Sounds good to me!” Karl took the choice from his hands, and Sapnap flinched when Karl dropped the hat on his head while moving from the room. “I’ll be back in a little bit!” 

“Karl!” Sapnap tried to swipe at him while he scooted away, scoffing before he yanked off the cowboy hat and threw it onto the kitchen table. “What is with all of you and this damn hat?” 

“Maybe we think it looks nice.” She seemed willing to drop the conversation when he sent her a look, moving to pull out the vegetables from the first bag. “How was the market? Did you and Karl have fun?” 

“Oh, I think so. He liked the maze, and a bunch of kids at the end asked for our autographs,” Sapnap answered, tackling a smaller bag. Though he knew better than to mess with his mother’s organization of the kitchen, he was able to line them up on the kitchen island for his mother to collect. “He doesn’t have stuff like that back where he lives.”

“You said he prefers the city, right?” 

“That’s what he says, but Karl is pretty good at adapting to wherever he is.” 

She hummed at his answer, though whatever she planned to say fell to the wayside when she paused in her unpacking. “Nick?”

“Yeah?” He looked up from the small container of eggs, throat tightening at the flour in her hands. Like a bullet, his eyes darted back down, counting the eggs silently to ignore the pinch of tension in the air. “You put it on the list.”

“For the cake you said you didn’t want us to make,” Grace answered quietly. “But you knew that.” 

He felt his fingers tighten on the carton, so he placed the eggs onto the counter to keep from breaking them. “I talked to Karl. It helped me… I don’t know. See I was being dumb or something. Cake is just cake, it doesn’t have to be more than that.”

“Not if you don’t want it to be.” Warmth spilled from her tongue when she got closer, the soft touch on his back making him realize how tense he’d become. “Did you tell him what the cake normally means for us?”

“How do I casually say ‘sorry, Karl, my mom has this thing about baking cakes for my girlfriend’s birthdays, and she must have forgotten you’re a guy’?” His heart throbbed at the idea of Karl being in the same category of his exes, though he wasn’t sure if it was from pain or something else. “That’s so embarrassing.” 

“You know it’s not just about their gender or relationship with you,” Grace said, gentle when she turned him away from the island to face her. A curled finger under his chin pulled his attention off his fisted hands, facing the green eyes that never judged him. “Baking something for the people you love is my way of welcoming them into the family. That’s all I’m offering, here.”

“You didn’t bake one for Becky freshman year,” Sapnap argued, knowing the answer before she even furrowed her brows.

“Well, considering she ran off with your little ex-friend a month later, I’m happy I didn’t waste the sugar on her.” They both laughed at the memory, Sapnap thankful she showed her true colors before he fell too hard for her. Once she composed herself, Grace pinched his cheek. “Also, did you forget I made a cake for your senior English teacher, because she was the only person who supported you doing YouTube, and helped you get into college? Or your basketball coach after he let you play in the championship despite missing the mandatory practice for Grandma’s funeral? We even had a cake when Dream and George came.” 

“Oh, I… forgot about those,” he admitted, his earlier outburst feeling even more stupid now.

“Darling.” Grace leaned up, pressing their foreheads together. The memory of them doing the similar pose when he was younger made the edges of his eyes sting, blinking a little faster than before. “When I offered to make Karl a cake, why did your mind automatically assume it was romantic love I was celebrating?”

“Mom,” Sapnap managed to force out, though her strong gaze holding his didn’t waver. 

Instead, she collected his hands between her own, squeezing them. “I won’t speak about things I don’t know about, because I’m not quite sure you have it all untangled yet. So all I’ll ask you to do is this: if things feel right, let them happen. You take care of my baby boy’s heart, and make sure you don’t run away from something that’ll make you happy.”

Sapnap’s heart lodged into his throat at her request, unsure if she felt his tiny head nod. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to follow through with the request. There were far too many factors to simply follow his heart, and that was even if he knew what he wanted. Plus, Karl was his own person. Even if there was some sort of… romantic undertones of Sapnap’s affection for Karl, there was no guarantee it would be reciprocated. A crush wasn’t worth throwing away everything he had with Karl, but if it was something deeper... 

He didn’t want to let the thought linger. When he heard movement from upstairs, Sapnap excused himself from the kitchen, knowing he wanted to leave the house before Karl returned. His mother didn’t comment about his rush to leave, only telling him to drive safe as he snatched his keys from the table. Unlike the ride from the market, Sapnap didn’t turn the radio up and kept his eyes facing the darkening roadway. He knew the passenger side was empty, but the residual memory of Karl’s sleeping form made him stare ahead. With more effort than he wanted to acknowledge, Sapnap forced his mind to stay blank, thankful when the first glimpse of the farm appeared in the headlights. 

He barely took three steps past the cow pasture before a familiar moo made him smile. “Hey, baba.” 

Annabelle trotted to him, flopping her head over the fence to receive Sapnap’s gentle petting between her ears. Despite not being around the farm for years, she didn’t show any animosity or hesitation accepting him again, her messy snout bumping into his chest. Smiling, Sapnap continued to shower her with gentle affection, wondering why she never showed the same love for other people. 

“Well, except Karl,” Sapnap mumbled, less surprised about her ease in letting Karl into her space than he should have been. 

Annabelle was a tough stone, but Karl was water, able to smooth down anyone’s rough edges with ease. Like a photograph, his brain switched to the image he’d mentally snapped hours before; Karl in the hay, with half-lidded doe eyes, plush lips, and a pretty blush Sapnap wanted to trace with his fingertips. He admired Karl’s looks, multiple times during the week, but this had felt different. Never before had his mouth tingled, like he wanted to use it for more than just compliments. He kept waiting for the stray thought to feel weird, but nothing but excitement bubbled in his chest. 

Unsure how to accept the strange reaction, he finally pulled away from Annabelle, walking toward the barn house. “Pa! Are you ready to go?” 

“Hold your horses, Nicholas.” Pa appeared from the screen door, and Sapnap shook his head at his grandfather’s suit. “I had to shake the mothballs out of my nice clothes.” 

“It’s just dinner,” Sapnap said, laughing when Pa’s cowhide leather boots clicked down the stairs.

“Yeah, but it’s a birthday celebration for your little friend. Have to look nice for the birthday boy.” 

“Karl’s not going to care. He’s not like that. The only reason I’m wearing real jeans is cause I went to the market with him today.” 

“You should wear them more; they make you look a lot older than when you wear those shorts that fall off your hips.” 

Sapnap ignored the comment about his normal attire, helping his grandfather into his truck. The large step was tough for most people, but his grandfather took on the task like a champ, and Sapnap was proud of how his grandfather kept himself limber despite his age. Once sure his Pa was secure in his seat, Sapnap moved to his side of the truck, quick to start it before the heat of the evening filled the cabin. With more caution that he used when he was alone, Sapnap pulled out of the farm, knowing the way back to his house with his eyes closed. 

“So.” The clipped emphasis of the word made Sapnap hold back a groan, knowing there was a conversation waiting to be had. “Your mother told me that you two had a bit of an argument this morning.” 

“It wasn’t a big deal,” he answered, knowing his dismissal wouldn’t end the conversation. “I’m gonna apologize tonight, once everyone goes to bed. I want to get through Karl’s birthday first.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I might be able to help you figure out how to do that, if you wanna tell me what the argument was about.” 

“She didn’t say?”

“Nope. She said it was your burden to bear, and your hill to die on.” 

Sapnap groaned at the snarky implication under her words. “Yeah, sounds like mom.” 

“Sure does. So, you want to tell me what’s going on? It ain’t like you to yell at your mother. Or that’s not the man I helped raise.” 

“She wasn’t doing anything big, but it… felt big at the time. When we were talking about dinner, she offered to make Karl a cake. One of her personal ones.” 

Pa’s whistle meant he caught onto the meeting. “I forgot she picked up on that tradition from her mom. My little Wyona could barely tell me she loved me after forty-five years, but boy did her desserts make me feel it. Her affection made my belt holes wider every winter before I sweat it all out during the farming season. Your mother got her baking thumb from grams, you know?” 

“Course I did.” He still remembered the perfection of his grandmother’s chocolate chip cookies after school, and how often he scarfed down her holiday pies every Christmas. “I was her favorite grandchild, so she made me the best cakes.” 

“So, it ain’t the cake that’s the problem. Seems like maybe it’s just the meaning behind your mom baking it for Karl. You’re not close enough to say he’s somebody you care for?” 

“What? Of course I care about Karl. He’s right up there with Dream and George.” Sapnap almost wanted to scowl at the wrong assumption. 

“Well, is it cause you have a different kind of love for Karl?” At the innocent question, Sapnap jumped in his seat, glancing over to his Pa who laughed at whatever face he made. “What, cause I’m old and southern I can’t accept people like who they like?”

Sapnap’s cheeks swelled under the switch of topic. “Uh, no. I just didn’t… why would you think I like guys?” 

“Well, you stopped bringing girls over after ‘Kenzie, and you got a lot more quiet about your love life. Just put two and two together, and waited for you to maybe mention it before you left. At first I thought maybe your friend, Dream, was your internet boyfriend—”

“Oh God, ew.” Sapnap knew about the sexual jokes they made toward each other on streams, but he prayed his grandfather hadn’t seen any of that. Last time he checked, his Pa didn’t have a laptop in his house, but Josephine had been teaching him about the benefits of a smartphone for his farming business. “Dream’s my brother. And he’s with George; nothing’s getting between those two.” 

“Which brings us back to Karl. Is he also your brother?” 

The title didn’t sit right, despite how much he cared for his friend. Confused over the difference despite no explanation, his words blurted out without permission. “I’m not sure what he is to me. People always think we’re dating or together but— but it’s not like we’ve ever talked about romantic shit. That’s just weird.” 

“Weird to like a fella?” His pa asked, Sapnap quick to shut down the misconception. 

“No, no!” Though his grandfather had opened the door, Sapnap’s fingers clenched around the wheel and swallowed. “I’ve kissed guys in college.” 

His eyes stared at the road rushing under them, but he caught Pa’s head nodding. “Makes sense. But Karl wasn’t one of them.”

“No, we met from my job. And he’s too…” Thinking about Karl made him smile, even as his heart clenched in his chest. “He’s amazing, Pa. Karl’s one of the best people I know. It wasn’t until this week that my brain’s thought patterns about him got all weird. Like, I thought I saw him the same way I did with Dream and George, until I just… didn’t . Cause of the stupid cake.”

“Oh boy, you really are my grandson.” Pa laughed, a hand curling on Sapnap’s shoulder to show his support. “You can’t see love until it smacks you in the face.”

“What’s that mean?” He asked, wishing he wasn’t driving to see his grandfather’s expression.

“This sounds like how your grandma and I started. She was so amazing, that I was happy just being her friend. Honestly, I thought all the affection I had for her was because she was just perfect. I didn’t get how she stayed single. Anytime a guy would ask her on a date, she’d turn him down, and I never picked up on why that made me happy. We were in each other’s back pockets, and I assumed it was because we were friends. Man, was I shocked when she pinned me against the wall of the market we worked at and kissed me. Almost knocked the boots right off me. But it was her angry face after the kiss, yelling at me about being the dumbest man she knew, that lightning struck.”

“Lightning?” The description came out of left field, unsure if it was a good thing. 

But Pa’s laugh proved it was a fond memory. “There was this moment between her insults and hitting my chest where the earth stopped. The world took a few seconds off to let me see everything beautiful she offered to us mortals. Like some angel sent to make me a better man. And I knew she was lightning, cause I wasn’t ever gonna get another woman like her. No, she was my one shot at happiness, and I woulda been a straight fool to pass up on that. Our love was all I ever needed, and Wyona gave me the best forty-five years of my life.” 

Sapnap smiled at how much his Pa adored her, even years after her passing. The loss made Sapnap bittersweet, but Pa’s voice never showed any regret over giving his heart to someone who died too soon for him to join. 

The recalling of their first kiss did drag a question to the front of Sapnap’s mind. “Would you have regretted going after her if it hadn’t worked out? Since you were so close before you started dating and stuff.” 

“Who says love has to work out to be worth it?” 

“What?” Confused, Sapnap furrowed his brows, pulling onto the new road to head toward their town. “Why would I want to fall in love if I’m just gonna get my heart broken? Sounds stupid.”

 “You’re missing the point, Nicholas. Love can hurt and still be real after the scar heals. And trust me, love ain’t ever a mistake. Me and your Grandma fought like cats and dogs sometimes. My back still remembers the spring from the couch when she kicked me out of the bed. But even the moments we didn’t want to be in the same room, we still loved each other. It just makes anything that can go wrong feel worth it in the end.”

“Ugh.” Sapnap slumped lower in his seat, wishing he had his hat to tug over his face. “Yours worked out like a Disney movie, but I don’t think it’s gonna be the same with me and Karl. There’s just too many things that don’t work for us, and that’s even if he saw me like that. Karl’s affectionate with all of his friends, so I’m not special to him. Or I don’t think I am. I don’t want to chance it for a couple days of feelings I’m still trying to figure out.” 

“Are you sure it’s only been this week?”

At Pa’s inquiry, Sapnap planned to say ‘yes’, but his mouth froze before the word could slip out. Could he confidently say that, when Karl’s attention had always been something he sought out? If his feelings were this confused, wouldn’t that mean they had been there longer than Sapnap realized? 

“I don’t… know,” he forced out, wishing his voice didn’t shake from his fear. 

Pa gave a gentle squeeze, showing his unspoken support. “Well, good thing you’ve got some time to figure it out. There’s no rule that says you have to spill your guts out tonight.” 

“It just feels kinda scummy to be seeing Karl like that without talking to him about it.” 

“Is he the type of fella who’s gonna judge your heart for being confused?” When Sapnap shook his head, Pa continued. “Good. Then let’s spend tonight celebrating whatever brought him into your life. Whether that's just as a friend, or something a little sweeter. Sound good?”

“What other choice do I have?” He asked, laughing despite the discomfort in his stomach. 

Pa was right; he didn’t want to ruin Karl’s birthday with his anxiety. The week was supposed to be about spending time with his family and enjoying the festival. If he did have real romantic interest with Karl, wouldn’t it happen naturally? The thought kept dancing between his ears as he drove, grateful he knew the roads to his summer house like the back of his hand. Sapnap parked the car, but it took him almost a minute for him to compose himself from the sudden blooming of fear inflating his chest. Pa, despite no words said between them, sat patiently in the truck, giving his silent support and Sapnap remembered to breathe. 

“You ready to see him?” Pa asked, and Sapnap forced out all the air from his lungs before he nodded. 

Like before, Sapnap helped Pa out of the truck, keeping an arm on his back to assist him into the house. The aroma of dinner hit him full force, eyes fluttering shut to simmer in the amazing smell. Knowing he’d find his family, he guided his grandfather through the open archway, any of the tension or stress from their conversation left in the dust when stepping into the kitchen. Instead, he froze, eyes taking in the scene with wide eyes and parted lips. Pa’s little chuckle beside him didn’t register, Sapnap’s whole focus staying on the moment in front of him. 

His mother smirked at his breathless expression, staying silent in her pride while plating the last of the food by the table. The glorious display of the perfectly cooked dinner should have been the star of the show, but Sapnap barely glanced at it before turning back to the island counter. Karl and Josephine had commandeered the space, wide grins almost as distracting as the pure mess that covered them. Josephine wore the eggshells in her curls, the same as Karl, but she didn’t seem to mind while she proudly slathered a bright green glob of frosting over a bare cupcake. Karl didn’t look any better, cake batter smeared over his right cheek without a care over his messy look. The laughter that pooled out from Karl’s mouth sounded sweeter than the dessert in his hand, cheeks as bright as the pink icing he decorated the cupcake with.

“What the hell?” Sapnap asked, earning Karl’s attention mid-frost. 

“Sapnap!” Karl’s excitement over his return made Sapnap bite the inside of his cheek, trying to hold back his own grin. “You’re just in time to help us finish the frosting process.” 

“You made cupcakes,” Sapnap said, slow to approach the mess of the counter. 

“Well… yeah.” Karl shrugged, his eyes darting down to fix the pink that started to bubble over the edge. “Just thought maybe they’d be cooler than a cake. Josie wanted to do something to pass the time while dinner was being made, so we did this. Kinda awesome, right?” 

Sapnap knew Karl’s real choice for the different dessert; he wanted to put distance between the tradition and what he was currently doing. Not for Karl, but for Sapnap’s comfort. Shaking his head while he laughed, Sapnap walked around the island counter. “What am I gonna do with you?” 

“Marry me, of course.” Karl looked over the shoulder Sapnap approached, eyes crinkling with his tease. “I’m obviously a catch.” 

“Obviously.” Sapnap took in Karl’s giggle, mind drifting to the conversation he’d had with Pa in the truck. Still muddled with his confusing emotions, Sapnap focused on the cake batter on the rosy cheek, impulse raising his fingers to the messy skin. Cupping the cheek, Sapnap’s thumb wiped the batter away, lips quirked into a smirk when seeing Karl’s eyes widen. “You’re something else, Karl.” 

“Thanks.” The heat of the face under his touch increased, but Karl leaned into his palm, lips brushing the rougher skin as he spoke. “I made a special one for you.” 

Pleased at the thought, Sapnap leaned closer, grinning. “Oh, just for me?” 

“You’d like that too much. I have an orange one for you, a pink one for Josie. Your mom’s got the yellow one. And even Randall get’s a blue frosted, Karl-cupcake special.” 

“Now mine feels less special,” Sapnap said, Karl’s warm breath tickling his skin. 

“If it makes you feel better, I did yours first.” It did, but Sapnap played up his pout to earn Karl’s playful eye-roll. 

Before he could come back with a sassy reply, Josephine cut in with a groan. “Mama, can we eat? Nick’s being gross again!” 

“What? I-I’m not—” Flustered over the call-out, Sapnap’s eyes darted to the cupcakes in front of him, grin widening with his revenge when catching the pink decorated cupcake in front of Karl. “I’ll show you gross.” 

“That’s mine!” Josephine’s screech when he snagged her cupcake hurt his ears, but Sapnap ignored Karl’s call of his name when he made eye contact with his sister and chomped into the side of her cupcake. The frosting smeared over his lips, and he could feel it coating his teeth when he grinned at Josephine’s feet stomping against the stool she stood on. “Mama!” 

“You two are both going to be sent to your rooms if you don’t stop the childish behavior.” Grace sighed like the world weighed on her shoulders before looking toward Karl. “Everyone just wants to be your favorite, I fear.” 

“I’m used to it.” The comment didn’t feel cocky coming from Karl’s sweet tone, the openness in his eyes hitting Sapnap full force when he focused them back on him. “Well, I love you all, so you’ll just have to share me.” 

But I don’t want to share your love with anyone else.

The thought tilted Sapnap’s world. The sudden pressure in his chest made air unable to escape, struck by the possessive thought. He couldn’t breathe, knowing he had no right to the selfish demand. Karl loved being loved, and sharing that love in return. And if he was honest, Sapnap admired that about his friend from the first day they met. He’d never want to make Karl stop loving other people, because the world needed his affection and brightness to keep spinning. It was the idea of someone else having more of Karl’s love that made Sapnap’s jealousy rise beyond logical reason. It wasn’t something that could be explained away with their friendship or close connection. Any other explanation would just be an excuse for the truth. 

Sapnap was in love with Karl. 

Lost in his own revelation, his savior was his mother, who clapped her hands together to draw everyone’s attention to her. “Alright, dinner’s ready. Pa and Sapnap can help me set up the table. Josie and Karl, get your butts out of this kitchen and clean up. Wash your face and hair. We don’t need no batter or egg yolks ruining Karl’s night. Shoo, shoo!” 

“But mama, we’re not done with the cupcakes.” 

“They’ll still be there once dinner’s done. Or maybe your brother can help Karl finish them off while Pa reads you a bedtime story.” 

Josephine’s eyes sparkled with the idea, quick to hop off her stool. “Okay! I’ll be right back.” 

“Me, too. Let me go get pretty again.” Karl gave Sapnap a sheepish smile before he scurried from the kitchen, Sapnap’s body turning to follow the disappearing frame. Starstruck, Sapnap didn’t move from his spot, amazed that his heart could beat so fast while standing still. 

“Lightning.” Pa’s gentle nudge on his bicep finally broke the spell, looking to see the knowing grin on his wrinkled face. “Intense, right?” 

Despite knowing exactly what Pa meant, Sapnap stayed silent, unsure how to put the feeling into words. Karl’s emotions were still unknown, nothing more than friendly appreciation for Sapnap. Even if Sapnap’s heart was trying to thrust itself out of his chest, he had no sure place to put it. Hadn’t he and Pa just agreed tonight wasn’t the time to have his love revelation? He tried to stomp down the feeling when Grace’s soft touch fell on the middle of his back.

“Come on, space cadet. Get yourself in gear and help Pa with the table, or you don’t get dinner.” 

“Sorry,” he said, forcing himself to move over and accept the plates Pa handed to him. 

Organizing the table was mindless work, having done it dozens of times when he was younger. His mother brought out the fancy glasses for the special event, and Sapnap made it a point to ‘forget’ to place a fork where his sister would sit at the table. While folding paper napkins under the utensils (because they were not fancy enough to own linen napkins), he gazed over the meal waiting for them. His mother went all out, putting the same attention into the meat and sides like she did for a holiday or family birthday. Despite only being around his family for a few days, they already loved Karl, trying to accept them into their traditions. A tear in his stomach left him unsure how to process the information. Though he wanted Karl to feel welcome, he knew there were bigger consequences if Karl rejected Sapnap’s recent emotional development. 

He managed to get it under control until Karl appeared in the doorway again, looking lovely in his black button up and jeans. With the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, Sapnap was left staring at the pale skin of his forearms. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat when Karl came closer, brushing his shirt off before linking his hands behind his back.

“What do you think?” Karl asked, rocking on his heels while he waited for Sapnap’s compliment. 

Unsure if he could stop himself if he started, Sapnap coughed before reaching out, feeling the silk of the shirt when his hand dropped on Karl’s shoulder. “I’m kind of surprised you didn’t show up in your pajamas.” 

“You’re just jealous you don’t have your own,” Karl teased, and Sapnap shrugged at the honest statement. “Next time, I’ll get us a matching set. Oh, actually! I’ll wait until you pop the question, handsome. Then we can wear them on our honeymoon.” 

“K-Karl.” The joke had been tossed around more often than Sapnap was used to since they came to Texas. Despite knowing none of it was real, Sapnap’s face bloomed with color, wondering if his heart would care if Karl was serious about his offer. 

Not noticing Sapnap’s internal struggle, Karl tapped his nose before he slipped around him, attention drawn to the other entrance of the kitchen. “Josie! I love those pjs. Are those cats?” 

“Are you feeling okay?” His mother appeared by his side again, her concern curling through her tone. “You’re out in space tonight. Something you want to talk about?” 

“I-I’m here. Sorry, probably just tired.” He let her lead him over to the spot next to Karl, encouraging him to sit down before she moved to her own plate. A quick look to Karl found blue eyes already on him, tilting his head that spoke of his curiosity without words. Not able to find a sliver of courage, Sapnap tried to show a fake ease by tossing his arm on the back of Karl’s chair, fingertips brushing the side of his neck. Karl shivered at the touch, but didn’t lean away, turning his attention back to the table when his mother started splitting up the dinner. 

The warmth of the meal and the easy conversation proved what Sapnap already knew: Karl was the newest member of their family. It wasn’t the first time that Sapnap had brought someone over for dinner, remembering Dream and George at their smaller table in the other home the previous winter. Even when he was a teenager, Sapnap made it a point to bring a potential girlfriend over in order to see how she got along with the people that mattered most to him. None of his family had been rude to previous partners, never showing a cold shoulder even if they weren’t the biggest fan of his choice. But the way that Karl clicked so effortlessly between silly conversations with Josie and mature curiosity with Pa about his life on the farm was something Sapnap hadn’t experienced since Mackenzie. She had years to create a natural comfort with his family, since they literally grew up together. 

Karl was a charmer, Sapnap knew that better than anyone else. On the rare times Sapnap tried to put his foot down about something, Karl plucked his strings and made him dance exactly the way he wanted. But his mother was just as endearing, and she wouldn’t let someone pull any wool over her eyes. Watching her genuine pleasure while conversing with Karl, despite their very different upbringing and lifestyle, left Sapnap lost. For a delirious moment, he wondered if his own feelings about Karl were so strong, his family could sense it before he did. 

“Okay, time to sing!” 

His mother let Josie walk with the tray of finished cupcakes to the table, keeping a close eye on her wobbly hands as she made her way around the table. Sapnap stuck his tongue out at her while he took his orange cupcake, then laughed at the horrible drawing of his Minecraft character on the frosting. He planned to cut it in half and offer some to Josephine, knowing he’d eaten half of hers. Everyone had their special dessert, including the purple one Josie had designed for Karl. Sapnap could see the overwhelming amount of rainbow sprinkles and purple frosting that only a child could see as pretty, but Karl accepted it with an awe that even fooled Sapnap. After his mother placed the candle into the middle of the treat and lit it, the family sang to Karl, who ate up the attention without shame. 

“What did you wish for?” Josephine asked, splotches of pink and orange frosting on her face from her two different cupcakes. Her pigtails swung as she rocked in her seat, waiting for Karl’s answer, though he only leaned over and tapped her nose.

“If I told you what I wished for, then it won’t come true. That’s the rule about birthday wishes.” Sapnap blinked when Karl glanced over to him, unsure of the softer tone despite his smile. “It probably won’t, but… a guy can dream.” 

Somehow, he didn’t think the comment was meant for Josephine. Sapnap wanted to press the strange reply, mainly to see if it had anything to do with him, but Karl’s quick turn away from him kept his mouth shut. With the emotions still raw and untethered in his head, he didn’t think bringing up more feelings into their friendship would be a smart idea. He just needed a day to fully wrap his head around what his heart was trying to beat into his brain. 

It didn’t stop his hand from reaching out under the table, feeling Karl tense when his hand brushed over smoother knuckles. Sapnap could only see the profile of Karl’s face while he jumped between a conversation between Josephine and his grandfather, but the smallest change in his face’s color made his stomach twist. Sapnap’s tongue smoothed against his lower lip when smaller fingers linked between his, their hands sitting comfortably on Karl’s thigh. The warmth of their touch wasn’t anything new; he’d held Karl’s hand hours before at the market. Karl had kissed his hand on stream in front of thousands of people. It was the most innocent sign of affection between friends they could share.

But this time was different. He wanted to place his heart, not his hand, into Karl’s palm. Sapnap didn’t care if he would cherish it, or squeeze until it burst. For one self-destructive moment, all he wanted was to feel Karl’s gentle love surrounding him. Even if it ended in a rejection and distance, Sapnap almost thought the pain would be worth the memory. The need was there, begging to burst out of the carefully sewn seams of friendship. He didn’t think it could stay contained throughout the festival, if Karl kept stroking his thumb gently along the back of his hand. Soaring through the sky or crashing into the hard ground, Sapnap wanted to jump to see if Karl would follow. 

And that dangerous thought proved that when it came to Karl, Sapnap was fucked. 

Chapter Text

Karl knew that the Maybell Festival was important to the people in the small town. Sapnap and Grace had both explained to him throughout the week the economic impact it had, as well as the cultural importance. Randall also mentioned that it was a big attraction for people outside of the area, and that it would even make a ‘city boy’ like Karl feel a little overwhelmed the first time he saw it. He had only nodded over his birthday dinner, not wanting to mention how many countries and experiences he’d held in his young years. A town festival couldn’t throw him off when being in front of some of the most famous places in the world. 

But when he stepped under the handmade entrance sign of the Maybell Festival, Karl had to eat his words. The event was huge , eyes unable to take in the acres of tents, rides, and other events that filled the space. How was someone supposed to process everything the fair had to offer when it was bigger than an amusement park? His feet paused in its walk while trying to comprehend what he was seeing. Children ran by him without a care, little families seeming unaffected by the yearly festival. Karl stared in awe, only blinking back into focus when his sleeve was tugged on. 

“Bigger than you thought, right?” 

Again, Karl found himself needing a moment to speak. Sapnap hadn’t been able to ignore his mother’s demands the morning of the festival, the hat Sapnap had avoided planted firmly on his head. The brown of the felt matched his boots, his stone washed jeans tucked neatly into the shoes and the belt looped around Sapnap’s hips. The loose white t-shirt was only tight around Sapnap’s bicep, Karl unsure why he picked up on the pointless detail. It wasn’t an overtly sexy outfit, Sapnap wading between comfort and fashionable. Still, it made Karl happy to finally get a picture of his best friend in the hat he’d been eyeing since the second day of Texas. 

“You okay?” 

When Sapnap stepped closer, Karl forced out a laugh, quick to run his hand up Sapnap’s arm before squeezing the muscle. “You’re really cute in your cowboy stuff, handsome.” 

“Stop that.” Blushing more than he could blame on the sun, Sapnap glanced away and scowled. “This is why I didn’t want to wear this. Knew you were gonna make fun of me.” 

“Hey, I’m being serious.” Wanting to stomp out the misinformed thought, Karl bent down enough to sneak his gaze under the brim of the hat. “I think you look really good, Sapnap. Promise.” 

Sapnap bit his lower lip, nodding gently. “Thanks.” 

“Anytime.” Karl grinned and stepped back, turning toward the festival. “Okay, what do we do first?” 

“Gotta set you up with Pa for your shift at his stall.” Sapnap shoved his hands into his jeans, lips tilted in a frown. “Are you sure you'll be fine helping out? I didn’t actually plan for you to have to work during the festival, but—”

“It’s no big deal. I just have to play with some baby animals, right?”

The petting zoo aspect of Randall’s stall was a good idea, from a business perspective. The families that came by to speak with him about getting livestock would need something to distract their younger children away from the other ‘fun’ stalls of the festival. From what Sapnap said, the baby animals were up for sale as well, but most preferred Randall’s adult livestock that didn’t need around the clock care. While he waited for them to grow up, Randall used them as a pen for kids to chase around or pet, keeping them happy while the adults talked.

Sapnap had been set to help man the station, until an oversight caught up to the family. Grace had woken them up with the reminder that his uncle had an extra responsibility at the festival. The baking contest for teens was more competitive than Karl expected, Sapnap speaking of the scholarship that was attached to winning the grand prize. Though his uncle didn’t do any of the food judging (he didn’t have a strong enough pallet for tasting), he did set up and pass out the ribbons, both things Sapnap could do without changing anyone’s future. After a few minutes of debate, Sapnap caved, asking Karl to take his spot on Pa’s stall. Of course, Karl agreed, though demanded Sapnap take him around the festival after their shifts. 

“I feel like I’m going to get lost in all of this,” Karl said, scooting closer to Sapnap when a group of children rushed by him. “I’m used to busy streets and stuff, but this has no rhyme or reason to it. How do you navigate this place every year?” 

Sapnap shrugged, arm finding its way around Karl’s waist. “You just get used to people and where their stands are gonna be. Bigger ones, like the bull riding and the horse show, are always in the back because of the space it takes up. The games aren’t the same every year, so they put them in a clump in the front. But for the ones run by the families of the town, we normally sign up for the same spot of land we had the year before.” 

“You all really are just a giant family.” 

“Well, it happens when you’re raised in the same backyard from cradle to grave.” 

“Not you,” Karl teased, happy to lean into the warmth of Sapnap’s side. Even without his sweatshirt, Sapnap’s body radiated heat, combating Karl’s normally cooler temperature. “You got out of here the first chance you got.” 

“Because I had the opportunity to live with a fucking millionare.” 

Laughing, Karl glanced around the fairgrounds, letting Sapnap lead them on a path he seemed to know by heart. “So if I become a millionaire, you’ll come be my housewife?”

“If I don’t have to pay rent, sure.” Sapnap turned them to the left, eyes scanning the stalls they walked past with a nostalgic smile. “But I did miss this. I’ll have to make sure to come back next year. I think Dream would have a lot of fun.” 

“George would pick out twenty things he hates in the first hour,” Karl replied. 

“What about you?” Sapnap’s question made Karl blink, looking down to see green eyes peeking from the brim of his hat. “Would you, uh… wanna come back?”

“Of course I will,” Karl answered, quick to smile at the hint of Sapnap’s nerves. “This has been really fun, and I’ve barely even seen the festival.” 

“I’ll change that after we do our shifts.” The familiar sound of farm animals made Karl look up, smiling at Sapnap’s grandfather just ahead of them. Though he was happy to see the older man again, not getting enough time to speak with him as he did Grace and Josephine, Karl almost regretted the emotion when Sapnap pulled away from him. “Okay, here’s your stop.”

“Oh, right.” Searching for something to change his soft tone, Karl’s eyes lit up at the baby pig that rushed by the smaller pen. “Oh my god, he’s so tiny! I get to play here for the day?” 

“Don’t sound too excited to get away from me,” Sapnap grumbled, Karl turning back toward him before snagging his cheeks under his palms. 

“Go have fun drooling over pie you can’t eat so we can try all the fair food together after.” Hoping his smile eased the furrowed brows, Karl leaned in and lowered his voice. “I’m really excited to spend the afternoon with you. Promise.” 

“Oh.” It was almost comedic how quickly Sapnap’s eyes darted away, like Karl didn’t normally shower him with compliments. “Cool.” 

“Not sure if ‘cool’ is in the cowboy dictionary, partner .”

A scoff brought Sapnap’s gaze back to him, reaching out to ruffle Karl’s hair. The motion made Karl close one of his eyes, though it shot open in surprise when Sapnap gentled his touch and sunk his fingers into the silky strands. 

“How about you let me worry about the way I talk, and you focus on keeping from charming everyone in Texas into buying Pa’s animals?” 

“No promises,” Karl mumbled, winking before leaning into Sapnap’s touch. 

He fought back the desire to close his other eye and settle into the warm aura, knowing they were surrounded by thousands of people. While their followers were used to his platonic flirting, he didn’t want to put Sapnap into an awkward situation trying to explain Karl’s behavior to the older members of his town. But his desire to pull back lost its drive after Sapnap’s smile went soft, like he expected nothing else from the man in his hand. Like Sapnap wanted to hold him longer than time would let them.

Heart skipping at the thought, Karl forced himself back, hands clapping in front of him. “Okay, good luck with the pies. Keep an eye out for some food I should try.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll come pick you up when I’m done.” 

Karl waved when Sapnap walked away, letting his eyes strain until he was no longer in sight. After dropping a slow sigh, Karl turned back to the farm set-up, back straightening when realizing Randall had been watching them. 

“O-Oh! Hi.” Unsure of where to put his hands, Karl shoved them in his jean pockets, his smile more shaky than he wanted. “Reporting for duty, sir.” 

“Yeah, I saw.” Grinning with an ease that rolled down Karl’s back, Randall waved him over, laughing and patting his shoulder once he came closer. “You ready to get a little dirty? Looks like Grace got you the right clothes, but you can’t buy work ethic ‘round here.”

“I’m okay with whatever you need me to do,” Karl answered, knowing Randall wouldn’t care about the extreme conditions he’d gone through for Mr. Beast videos. The manual labor he’d build his life on was admirable, and Karl wouldn’t try to dismiss it when comparing their lives. 

Nodding, Randall pushed off the fence of the livestock, moving over to the petting zoo just in front of it. “Nicholas says you’re good with kids, so this should be easier than trying to barter about livestock. Just need you to make sure none of the babies, human or animal, get too aggressive with the other. Think that’s something you can handle?” 

“Yeah, totally! You can count on me.” 

“That’s what I like to hear,” Randall said, moving to the gate of the petting zoo. “Alright, let’s show you how to feed the babies, so you can model it for the kiddos.” 

“You mean with an open palm? Things like that?” He remembered the instructions of feeding the otters in Japan, and how their whiskers had tickled his palm during their nibbling. 

“Exactly. You don’t want the kids moving their hands too much, or else the goats or pigs might think their fingers are pellets. All of the snacks in there are safe for the animals, so no worry about mixing food. We just label ‘em different so the kids have fun.” 

“That’s so cute,” Karl said, looking at the different bags of pellets. He liked how the pigs, goats, ducks, and bunnies had different colored bags with chibi animals on the front. Finding a seat on the hay bale inside the pen, Karl squealed when two goats rushed over, butting against his hands when he reached out to pet them. “And look how friendly you are. We’re going to make sure every one of you gets lots of love today, huh?” 

“That’s the plan. Lots of love, and lots of money in old Pa’s pocket!” Randall chuckled, knocking his wrinkled knuckles against Karl’s shoulder. “If you’re any good, I might make Nicholas bring you back next year.”

Karl, with a goal in mind, thrived at the petting zoo. The children stuck to him like glue, some recognizing him from his videos online. Even the ones who didn’t know anything about Roblox or Mr. Beast still fell under his endearing charm, eager to follow whatever game he played with them and the animals. They giggled and squealed at the farm noises Karl made, quick to rush (not run, Karl warned at the start of the activity) to point at which baby made it. Feeding took practice with all of the young children, and some were close calls of getting fingertips nibbled. He taught each how to pet the different skins and furs, learned the individual personalities of the little animals he worked with. Karl even named them to help keep track of the more temperamental ones. Whenever one of his visitors got scared, Karl let the child sit on his lap, showing the animals the kid feared were nothing but friendly. He’d rush to laugh if any of the goats nudged a kid onto the dirt, his loud clapping and smile making the tears change to giggles. 

But what caught his attention, between rushes of children, weren’t any of the animals in the petting pen. With his back to the larger fence, the gaps of the wood left his shirt open for the tugging from behind. The first yank had almost pulled him off the bale, but he managed to keep his balance to look back at the cause of the shift. The big, brown eyes that stared back at him were almost too big for the calf’s face, darker than her coat and the white heart on her forehead. Not showing any fear at being caught, she shoved her nose between the planks again, trying to take a little nibble from his outfit. Heart squeezing at the cute scene, Karl cooed down at the calf who was his similar height if he sat on the hay. 

“You’re just so pretty, aren’t you?” He murmured to the calf, shoving his hand into the pellets to collect a handful of treats to spoil her with. After getting a steady grasp, he squeezed his arm into the make-shift pasteur to offer her the snack, which she easily licked up. Despite the slime on his hand from her tongue, Karl ignored it and pet her glossy fur. With floppy ears and a small tail, the cow only moo'd back at him, making Karl giggle and scrunch his nose. “Just the sweetest baba ever.” 

His new friend didn’t leave for long periods of time, continuing to try and eat his shirt if he spent too much attention on the children or animals in his petting zoo. Her aggressive tugging and headbutts against the plank by his back didn’t make him upset, Karl showering her with every ounce of affection he could between his duties. The calf didn’t seem old enough to sell for meat or milk, but either idea made Karl’s stomach lurch in discomfort. What if the next time he came to visit Sapnap’s family, the calf wasn’t there?

“How’s it going over here, squirt?” Karl looked up from the calf’s eyes, hands still cupping the head resting on his palms. His thumbs stroked the velvet ears, which twitched under his gentle ministration. “Oh, seems you’ve got a furry friend to keep you company.” 

“Randall,” Karl said, unsure how to ask his random question. 

“Just call me Pa.” Was the reply, Karl smiling at the friendly response before looking back to the calf. 

“Do you think Annabelle gets lonely with her friends always leaving?”

“Annabelle? That cranky old lady?” Randall laughed at his own joke, leaning against the fence on the other side of the pen. “I don’t know, to be honest. With some cows, I’d say they’re missing far too many crayons from their box to notice, but Annabelle has always been smart. She gets grumpy when Nicholas leaves, or I go on long trips from the farm. I could imagine her being a tad sad, sure.”

“That’s what I thought.” Squeezing the calf’s cheeks, Karl dropped the touch and turned back to Randall. “I want to buy her a friend. This calf, to be exact.”

“Come again?” 

“I don’t know if it’s possible,” Karl said, quick to back away from what could have sounded like a command. “But Sapnap told me what you did for Annabelle when he was younger, and— I don’t have the space in North Carolina to take her home with me. But I could send you money every month to keep her fed and taken care of, and any medical things she may need in the future. Plus, she’s got a similar personality to Annabelle, so she could be a companion of sorts!”

“You’re doing this for Annabelle?” He asked, arching a brow. 

Karl felt silly when he nodded. “She probably has seen a lot of her friends disappear, and it’s got to be lonely. If she had this little gal with her, she'd never feel sad!” 

Randall stayed quiet while he stared down at Karl. Though he knew the man wasn’t cold-hearted, Karl still struggled to keep his breath steady under the assessment. He fought not to chew his lip, trying to calm himself by petting over the heart on the calf’s forehead again. The farm wasn’t a nursery, and Randall had to make a profit on his livestock. Karl was willing to pay him whatever he needed to keep her healthy and safe, but it was still a tax on the other man’s shoulders. 

He blinked when he heard a hearty laugh from Randall, his lips ending in a crooked smile. “My boy sure has a good eye.” 

“What…” Karl felt his throat go dry, swallowing over his emotions that he couldn’t label. “What do you mean?”

“Nicholas has a heart the size of Texas. Has since he was a little kid,” Randall said, scratching the scruff of his jaw. “I’ve always worried it’d be hard for someone to get to see that, though. My grandson acts tough, but he’s a sensitive soul. He cared about a lot more than he likes to tell people. Most don’t look beyond the scowls and cocky bravado, but you… yeah, I can see you’re a good match for him.” 

“Oh, wow, I…” Karl’s cheeks burst with color, quick to clear the misread. “No, we’re not— Sapnap’s one of my favorite people, but I think you’ve got the wrong idea about us.”

“You don’t see my grandson that way?”

Unsure how to answer the blunt question, Karl changed the direction of the conversation. “I think anyone who gets to share their heart with Sapnap is a lucky girl. But I think… well, not to share his gossip, but I think he’s got his eyes on Mackenzie.”

“ Our Kenzie?” His surprise turned to intrigue when Karl nodded, crossing his arms on the wood. “What would make you think that?”

“He’s so happy when they’re hanging out.” Karl couldn’t look at Randall as he spoke, so he focused his attention on the calf again. He wondered if his voice poured out the feelings he still hadn’t processed. “Sapnap talks about her with such softness, it’s…she’s special to him, something I couldn’t touch. N-Not that I want to! Cause we’re friends, and they’re really cute together. She’s… amazing. I could never get in-between him and his second chance.” 

“Oh, so it’s both of you.” Pa’s laugh made Karl’s head snap up, but Randall was already pushing off the fence. “Wow, it's like rewatching my favorite movie over again. No wonder my dad said I was dumb as a bag of hammers.” 

“Is this still about buying the calf?” Karl asked, unsure where he had lost the plot. 

Before Randall could answer, Sapnap’s voice cut in. “You’re buying what ?”

“Sapnap!” Karl jumped to his feet, hiding his panic of the previous conversation by waving both of his hands. “Welcome back. Are you done with the desserts?” 

“Yeah, just wrapped up with my shift. It was a pretty good show, lots of participants.”

“What won?” Karl asked, unsure how the process worked.

“Fuck if I know.” Sapnap glanced at Randall, quick to cough. “Uh, sorry.” 

“Should’ve washed your mouth out with soap when you were younger.” Despite the comment, Randall laughed, waving them away. “Alright, let me get some water and then you can take your boy. I can handle this place now that the big rush is over. Go enjoy the festival. Oh, and Karl?”

“Yes?” 

“You better have a name for your calf when I get back.”

“Your what ?” Sapnap’s question made Karl look down and smile, crouching next to the calf still waiting by the fence. 

“This little sweetheart right here? She’s going to keep Annabelle company for the rest of her days in the pasture.” 

“You’re buying one of Pa’s cows to… give Annabelle a friend?”

“What, is that a problem for you?” 

“No, it’s just…” Sapnap stared at him in silence before he laughed and plopped down next to him, shaking his head. “You’re crazy.” 

“I think it’s the best idea I’ve ever had,” Karl replied, laughing when Sapnap lightly pushed him. 

“Okay, Einstein, what do you plan to call her?” 

“I haven’t exactly gotten that far. He just agreed to let me buy her.” 

“Well, we’ve named shit together before.” Sapnap took his own liberty to scratch under the calf’s chin. “Just pick Lasagna again.”

“This isn’t a Minecraft fish!” Giggling after his shout, Karl tugged on Sapnap’s sleeve. “We’re not naming her after a meal made out of cow.”

“There’s vegetarian lasagna…” 

Karl ignored the reply, leaning against the wooden fence and sighing. “I want something sweet for her. Something southern, but gentle. Like my little sweetie, or darling, but… not a pet name.” 

“So call her Lightning Bug.” Sapnap shrugged when Karl tilted his head, the top of his cheeks dusted pink. “Uh… my mom used to call me that when I was younger. Just kind of a nickname cause of how late I’d hang out by the water. I’d stay until they came out, hence the name. But you don’t have to use it. Shit, it was probably a dumb idea—” 

“I love it.” Karl looked back to his calf, cooing when leaning down and lowering his voice. “Hello, my beautiful Lightning Bug.” 

The immediate moo in response to the cooing made Sapnap snort. “Oh, so she’s a talker? Yeah, her and Annabelle are gonna get along just fine.” 

“See? And you thought my idea was stupid.” 

“Putting words in my mouth, Jacobs.” 

When Sapnap’s knuckles tapped the side of his jaw, Karl tried to swallow down his blush, keeping his eyes on the cow and not the handsome man next to him. “Well, at least I have a name to give your grandfather.” 

“You better not get too busy and forget about her,” Sapnap said, Karl quick to shake his head.

“What kind of a parent do you think I am? We’ll have Josephine take pictures of Lightning Bug whenever she goes to the farm. Maybe she can even FaceTime with us. Oh, and we’ll make trips every year in order to visit our sweetheart!” 

“So she’s ours now?” At the question, Karl’s stomach flipped. His mouth fell open, unsure what was the right response. He hadn’t even given the idea of sharing Lightning Bug with Sapnap a second thought. Karl’s head swirled, trying to figure out if it was his own feelings or Randall’s previous confusion that made the assumption roll over. 

“Oh, I…” 

Before Karl could laugh off the misstep, Sapnap cocked his head and smirked. “Fine, but just so we’re clear, you’re the mom.”

“Sure.” His agreement came out breathless, eyes wide at how quickly Sapnap accepted his role as his partner. Sure, it was just for a calf, and it didn’t mean anything in their real lives, but the ease of slipping into the roles felt too simple. Struck by the warm feeling, Karl laughed, leaning forward to collapse into Sapnap’s chest. 

“Hey! Be careful.” 

Sapnap’s scolding paired with thick arms wrapped around Karl’s back, shifting him to a more comfortable spot in the embrace. Karl dropped his head against the side of Sapnap’s neck, wondering if his friend realized he’d tucked Karl into his lap during his adjustment. He refused to mention it, not wanting to lose his new favorite spot. Instead, he snuggled closer, letting his wrist lay limp on the wood plank of the fence. Even as Lightning Bug licked his hanging fingers, Karl didn’t think of a better place he could be. 

“You good with it just being us today?” 

Sapnap mumbled the question against his temple, and Karl felt his lips twitch into a smile. “Aw, are you asking me on a date?”

When Sapnap didn’t answer the teasing question, he almost looked up from the spot against Sapnap’s neck. He felt the hint of tense thighs under him, and the stuttered breath against his side. Karl had meant it as a joke, like he always did, and expected Sapnap’s eye-roll or teasing back. The silence that fell after his question deviated from their norm. He couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing, needing to read it across Sapnap’s expression. Before he could move his head up, Sapnap’s hand covered his nape, keeping him secure in his spot. The tremble of the fingers made Karl’s soul ache for Sapnap, wondering what about his innocent question had unraveled his friend so quickly. 

Wanting to show his own vulnerability, Karl reached for the hand holding his neck, linking their fingers on the sensitive skin. “I’d love to hang out with you, Sapnap. Show me everything, even the stuff you don’t think is important. Because I wanna learn everything I can about the town that raised you.”

“Karl…” Sapnap’s arm, still wrapped around his waist, tightened, as if afraid Karl would disappear if he spoke. “We’ll do whatever you want.” 

What if all I want is… 

Karl refused to let his thought continue, shoving it to the back of his mind when Randall came back, shooing them away from the stall. The moment of unspoken tension between them didn’t linger, because there was too much to do. Sapnap became a Maybell Festival tour guide, doing everything he could to show off the event to Karl. From the small shops with people’s handmade items, to the bigger event platforms for the evening events, Sapnap knew more about the fair than Karl expected. He took Karl around the ring where Josephine would be performing her show ride, both agreeing they wanted to watch the performance. Karl’s mouth couldn’t stop smiling at the people who called out to Sapnap, heart softening at how well-liked his friend was in the community. 

“Oh, is that…” 

Karl paused, unsure if he wanted to bring attention to his new discovery. Guilt pooled in his stomach at the hesitation, knowing it was selfish for him to fall mute. Because what had caught his attention was Mackenzie, looking ethereal on the seat under the ‘kissing booth’ sign. Her bright red lipstick made her smile beam at the pair chatting with her, pretty blond hair pulled into an updo that looked amazing despite the messy design. Her flowy white dress matched perfectly with her jean jacket and boots, the flowers tucked behind her ear the final touch to her beauty. Mackenzie didn’t belong in a small town, but on the cover of a Vogue magazine. The stuffed dollar bills in the huge jar proved that anyone with eyes would want to kiss her. 

Sapnap would want to—

“Huh?” Sapnap stepped in front of him, blocking his sight while waving his hand in front of his face. “Are you okay?” 

“Oh, I’m fine!” Karl grabbed his shoulders to keep him from turning around, tugging him away from Mackenzie and the taunting sign of her stall. “Actually, can we go back to the ring toss game? I thought it over, and I want you to win me that stuffed animal.”

“Bro, I asked you if you wanted it twenty minutes ago!” Despite his tone, Sapnap let Karl drag him away, Karl’s heartbeat slowing from the danger his body thought was real. 

“That was past Karl. Present Karl wants to see you strut your stuff and win me things.” 

“You’re so stupid sometimes. Lightning Bug better get all her smarts from me.” 

Karl laughed and smacked Sapnap’s arm, slipping his grip around the bicep once they walked far enough for the crowd to hide Mackeznie’s booth. “So our next stream should be ‘Type or Die’? You know, to show which one of us is smarter.”

“You cheated the last time we played. I watched that vod.”

“Okay, but you started cheating right after me! And you didn’t even hide it.” 

“Because I ain’t gonna let you beat me at the dumbest game ever,” Sapnap said, both laughing at the ridiculous night. 

Karl hummed when their conversation wound down, his eye flickering to the right after hearing a chorus of childish groans. The group were kids of all sizes, though he guessed they averaged Josephine’s age. The booth was a little larger than most, though when he watched the activity unfold, Karl understood why. The four barrels on the other side of the arena had wooden designs, the shapes and sizes differing. The large ropes were looped into lassos, and the children swung them over their heads before trying to catch the statues. Most couldn’t hit the marks, while a few just skimmed the sides of the wood before the rope flopped the wrong way. 

“Wow,” Karl said, leaning against Sapnap. “You teach ‘em real young, huh?”

“Most of us learned how to tie a lasso right after our first ride on a horse. It’s not even that we use it for more than a party trick, just something that’s stuck with the town for decades. Almost like a rite of passage for us.” 

“So you know how to do that?” 

Sapnap shrugged, but his cockiness grew in his smile. “Yeah, surprised Dream, too. I think we have a video of me doing it at the house with random objects, but I never posted it.” 

“I’m asking Dream for that the next time I visit.” Then Karl paused, realizing the opportunity he had in front of him. “Wait, actually, buy a ticket.” 

“What?”

“Buy a ticket for this game and show me you can lasso!” 

Sapnap shook his head. “This is for kids. And I thought you wanted me to go get you the stupid prize from the other one?”

“I changed my mind.” Karl tugged him closer to the person running the lasso game. “Come on, just one round!” 

“Karl—”

“Look!” The cut into their conversation made Karl turn toward the children, who were staring at them in excitement. 

“Oh, hey there.” Karl waved to their new audience. “You guys enjoying the lasso toss?” 

“Are you the Karl Jacobs?” One girl asked, her eyes darting to his left. “And Sapnap?” 

“Oh, you watch our Minecraft videos?” He asked, a few of the children watching while others seemed more confused. 

“I thought his name was Nick?” Said a smaller boy, hand curled in what Karl assumed was his sister’s hand. “Josie said that’s her older brother’s name.”

“Yup, that’s me.” Sapnap crouched down into a squat, smiling when they crowded closer. “Sapnap’s just the name I use at my job. When I’m here at the festival, you can call me Nick.” 

“What name are you going to use for the bull-riding event?” 

At the unfamiliar information, Karl snuck in a question. “You think he’s going to ride a bull?

“Nick’s the best at it!” The one who knew Josephine beamed up with a childish innocence Karl missed. “Josie told me he’s won two gold medals before.” 

“Oh, is that so?” Karl nudged his knee into Sapnap’s shoulder, trying to catch the face his cowboy hat hid. “How come I didn’t know about your secret skill?” 

“It’s been years since I’ve done any riding. We don’t exactly have bulls in Florida.” Then Sapnap pushed back to his full height, stretching out his legs. “And even if I had been training, I didn’t plan to sign up. Pa and my mom need my help, so I didn’t want to make any commitments.”

“Yeah, makes sense. Don’t wanna get hurt by not being safe.” 

The chorus of the children’s disappointment over the news made Karl smile, reminiscent of their followers when they turned down a con event or ended a stream. Sapnap seemed to pick up on it too, and Karl watched his shoulders inch a little closer to his ears. “But… hey, you never know. Maybe I’ll surprise you with an appearance.” 

“In the meantime,” Karl said, tugging Sapnap closer to the lassos on the ground. “Why don’t we make it up to you by having Sapnap show off his lasso skills? Then you can give all the prizes you win to the kiddos. What do you think?” 

“Karl—” But Sapnap’s protest died out when the group’s excitement poured out in screeches and cheers, hands clapping together in their joy. 

Not afraid to use the moment to get what he wanted, Karl moved to stand behind the kids, grinning at Sapnap’s narrowed eyes. “We all really want to see what you can do with your hands and a rope.” 

“ Karl .” The blooming hue of red over Sapnap’s face was pretty, and Karl giggled at knowing where his friend’s head had gone despite the ‘innocent’ comment. 

“What? I’m just talking about lassos!” 

“You’re such a bit—” But Sapnap caught himself when seeing the seven younger pairs of eyes watching him, coughing before he changed his wording. “A nimrod.” 

Karl didn’t answer the insult, the children’s whines and begging for Sapnap to play the game that none of them could finish. Though some had been able to lasso the cow and horse figurine, their struggle to zone in on the smaller sheep and goat had been impossible for them. Pleas of his skill seemed to wear down Sapnap, and Karl was the loudest cheer when he groaned and offered his money to the runner of the game. 

“I’m only doing it once, so pay attention to my wrists.” 

Sapnap’s firm tone and quick scan of the group had everyone nodding, Karl included. Sapnap tugged on his hat before he let out a low sigh, fingers feeling down the base of the rope before he rolled it against his palm. He took time swinging the lasso in the air, like he needed to gauge the flow before he set his sights onto the cow. Karl watched how Sapnap’s posture changed, feet settling into a pose that seemed familiar to his body. A slow rotation of his wrist got the lasso moving, and in seconds, Sapnap angled his arm before he let the loop fly over his head. Karl watched along with the children when the rope flopped over the cow’s neck, easily hitting its target.

From there, the confidence only grew. Karl’s affection rose with each claimed wooden statue, smitten with how bright Sapnap’s smile shined after each toss. The children were in awe over his easy skill, tucking the rope around each challenge without any fear of missing. This was how Karl wanted Sapnap to stay; confident and free to show everyone in the world why he was more than just a side character in someone else's world. He added flare in his wrist flicks, letting the rope float over his head when he looked back at Karl and smirked before aiming his next calculated shot. And though he’d promised only one round, one prize for the small group, more money was pooled into the game in order to make sure all of the kids watching him got something to take home. 

Because Sapnap was not just confident, but kind, and Karl could only watch in amazement as he shined. 

“Do you kids wanna know what the hardest thing to lasso is?” 

“You want a bigger challenge?” Karl asked, curious about the question when Sapnap nodded. A quick glance to the kids proved a couple more had come around to see the exciting display, and Karl wanted to give them something else to idolize Sapnap for. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s harder than this?”

“Something that’ll fight back.” The gleam in Sapnap’s eyes when focusing on Karl punched the air from his stomach, unable to look away. “Go on, go stand by one of the statues.” 

“Me? No shot.” 

But like he’d done minutes before, Sapnap used their crowd against him. “You kids wanna see me lasso Karl?” 

“Yes!” Like a chorus, they sync up their excitement, leaving Karl unable to shut down Sapnap’s deviance. Biting back his own desire to flip Sapnap off, he sent the stall’s worker a sheepish smile while he hopped over the small barrier separating the throwing area from the wooden figures. He felt like an idiot, being along the farm carvings, but he tried to keep his appearance up by waving with both hands. 

“Alright, I’m here. What do you want me to do?” 

“Nothing too big, just jog around. Give me a moving target,” Sapnap said, lasso already starting to swing in his easy grip. 

Karl tried not to watch the natural sway of his wrist before he nodded, awkward in his shifting around the small area. The children giggled when he tossed out terrible animal noises, deciding he was going to have a good time with his embarrassment. If he could use his time to help younger people see it was okay to be silly, he didn’t mind throwing himself into a self-conscious moment. It helped to see Sapnap laughing at his antics, struggling to gain control back on his emotions before he finally focused on the task at hand. Though Karl didn’t throw his all into running around, he was still surprised how easily the rope caught around his shoulders, a sudden tug from the rope tightening the loop when it fell to his biceps. 

“I’m caught!” He squeaked out, playing up his surprise for the children, before Sapnap smirked and reeled him closer.

“Come here.” 

Like everything else in their dynamic, Sapnap’s gentle aura dragged Karl in, shins knocking against the little barrier between the two areas from the guidance. Not seeming satisfied with Karl’s teasing wiggles, Sapnap wrapped the length of the rope around him twice, grabbing his arms before hiking him over the lip of the fence. Karl squealed out his laughter at being ‘caught’, feet kicking in the air before being set back down onto the bare ground. He continued to giggle when he lost his balance from his wiggles, falling into Sapnap’s chest without a care. A hand splayed over the middle of his back, Sapnap’s other arm wrapping around his waist to keep him steady. 

Once Karl managed to stop his laughter, he looked up from the broad chest, pleased at how the angle made Sapnap almost taller than him. “You happy now, getting your prize?” 

“Who wouldn’t be?” Sapnap asked, grinning as wide as the brim of his hat. “I got you, Jacobs. Mine to show off for the rest of the festival.” 

And though it was a joke, something that would fall away once Sapnap released him from the lasso and finished their performance, Karl’s mind couldn’t help but want it to be true. 

Not just for the festival , Karl thought, eyes unable to pull away from Sapnap’s expression when his realization slammed into his chest. I want to be his forever. Because I’m in love with Sapnap. 

The thought tickled his mind when he shrugged off his bindings and helped Sapnap hand out the won prizes for the kids. After their shouts of gratitude, and some requests for signatures, they dispersed into the festival, their excited chatter filling the warm air. Karl waved them off with a bright smile, always happier when he got to interact with his fans. When they had all disappeared into the crowd, Karl turned back to Sapnap, mouth paused mid-motion when seeing the cow plushie pushed into his line of vision. 

“Aw, how cute.” Karl laughed at the soft-looking stuffed animal, peeking around it to see Sapnap’s relaxed expression. “Was she an extra?” 

“Something like that,” Sapnap said, wiggling it closer to Karl’s cheek. “Thought you’d want a little reminder of Lightning Bug for when you go back to North Carolina. That way you can take a little piece of Texas home with you.”

“Sapnap…” Vulnerable from his earlier realization, the vicious desire to show his appreciation with his lips against Sapnap’s hesitant smile struck his chest like a vengeance. Fighting off the urge, he turned his affection to the cow, closing his eyes to kiss the snout. He tried not to notice the sharp intake of breath curling around his ear, only lingering a few moments before pulling back to send Sapnap a small smile. “Thanks, I love her.” 

“Uh, sure.” Softer in tone, Sapnap’s eyes fell on their hands when Karl reached up to take the stuffed animal, fingers lingering when they brushed each other in the exchange. He wanted to know what the flicker of emotion rushing through Sapnap’s gaze was, but a sudden call of his name pulled his attention behind him. 

Turning around, Karl blinked when seeing Josephine’s frantic face while she scampered their way. “Josie?”

“Munchkin, why are you—oof.” Sapnap’s grunt broke up his question off when Josephine speared into his waist, arms rushing to squeeze his torso with a desperate grasp. Karl’s worry spiraled up when catching the gleam of tears on her cheeks, and he could see how puffy and red the skin under her eyes were. 

“Nick, m-my… my…” Josephine sniffled and buried her face into Sapnap’s stomach, ruining the shirt with her mucus and tears. 

With his protective brother mode switched on, Sapnap scowled, hand dropping to the top of her head. He tried to ease her back from where she had hidden her mouth. “Hey, what’s going on? I can’t understand you when you’re talking to my belly button. C’mon, tell me what happened.” 

“No!” Her sob broke Karl’s heart, looking over her to see the concern marring Sapnap’s brows. 

Karl took charge of the moment, kneeling next to Josephine and placing his hand over the small of her back. “Josie, you sound pretty upset. I’d love to hear what’s going on, but only if you feel comfortable telling me. If not, is there someone we could call to help you? Like your mom?” 

“Mama’s trying to… to wa-wash it out.” 

“Wash something out…” Karl tried to think about the small snippet of information, eyes lighting up with clarification. “Did you spill something on your outfit for the show?”

“It wasn’t me!” Finally, Josephine’s teary face turned to Karl, her cheek smushed into Sapnap’s stained shirt. “Callie had a-a shake and… mama said we couldn’t have food ba-back there, but Callie’s mama didn’t listen. She didn’t! And now there’s chocolate all over my jacket fo-for the show.”

“Oh, I see.” Karl nodded to validate her feelings of distress, despite not knowing the value of the jacket for her performance. “Does that mean you can’t perform?” 

“She can,” Sapnap said, his hand overlapping Karl’s when pressing to Josephine’s back. “But the outfit is kind of important for the show. Talent’s a bigger deal, but…” 

“But it adds some flair, like frosting on a cupcake,” Karl concluded, then looked back down to Josephine when she whimpered. “Okay, that’s never a good feeling. I get why you’re so upset. Did any other part of your outfit get dirty?” 

“No,” she said, trying to keep her lower lips from trembling. “My pants and… and shirt are still okay. Hat, too.” 

“So there’s a little bit of good news.” 

She nodded, then tightened her hands around Sapnap’s waist. “But I’m scared.”

“Scared?” Karl scooted closer, tilting his head. “Can you tell me why?”

“Because everyone’s going to laugh at me. I don’t know if I wanna do it anymore.”

“Hey, what’s that mean?” Sapnap couldn’t see her expression from his angle, but Karl knew he was stuck standing with her clinging to his lower half. “You’ve been working really hard on your routine.” 

When she flinched, Karl reached up, taking one of her hands from Sapnap’s waist to hold it in his own. “Hey, Josie? Can I let you in on a secret?” 

“A secret?” Curiosity overriding her panic for a moment, Josephine nodded into Sapnap’s stomach.

“Every time I’m doing a live show, or I have to perform for a video? I worry about making a fool of myself.” Karl smiled at her widened eyes, nodding to emphasize his confession. “Yeah, not kidding! For a lot of performers, being scared is normal no matter how many times you do it. Especially when something like a wardrobe malfunction or equipment accident happens right before we’re supposed to go on. But then I realize I’m having fun, doing something I love. Even if I don’t win a Mr. Beast video, or I do something silly on a stream, I’m still having fun with people I love.”

“Really?” Josephine asked, Karl smiling and squeezing her hand. 

“Of course.” Karl peeked up at Sapnap for only a moment, but switched his attention back to Josephine to finish his comforting speech. “So know that when you go out there, Sapnap and I will be watching you. And we’ll be proud no matter where you place. I know you think me and the Mr. Beast crew are your idols, but not this time. Today, when you go out there without your jacket and still do your best, you’ll get to be my hero. You think you can do that?” 

“Yes! I wanna do that!” Her excitement flushed her cheeks, any trace of her previous fear gone with a new goal in mind. She tugged her hand out of Karl’s grasp, refusing to let go of Sapnap’s waist when she wrapped her free arm around Karl’s neck and tugged him closer. The hug made Karl’s chest push into Sapnap’s thigh, but he ignored the weird angle to return her affection. 

“Don’t look for your own value from other people, Munchkin.” Sapnap finally wiggled down to a crouch, Karl’s back warmed when Sapnap’s arm ended up around his waist. His other hugged Josephine between them, showering her with unconditional love. “But if you want it, Karl and I will be cheering for you the whole time.” 

“Okay.” Her head buried into Sapnap’s shoulder, but Karl’s cheeks warmed when her words filtered through his shirt. “Thanks for bringing Karl with you to the festival. I’m happy you met him.”

“Oh, I…” Karl bit his lip when Sapnap peered at him over Josephine, dropping his chin to the crown of her head.

“Yeah, me too.” Before Karl could process the soft reply, Sapnap squeezed Josephine and pulled back to look at her. “Alright, wipe your face off and get going. The show’s gonna start soon, and you still need to get dressed.” 

“Okay!” Her smile beamed with childlike wonder, and Karl was thankful how quickly kids could process emotions. She waved to both of them before she darted back toward the ring Sapnap had shown Karl before. Karl pushed back up to his standing position to make sure she got there without problems. 

He watched her duck into a tent where he assumed the other performers were, then turned back to Sapnap once he knew she was safe. “Poor Josie.” 

“She’ll live,” Sapnap said, waving off his concern when pushing up to his feet. “We’re tough around here. Plus, now she knows she’s got her idol watching her. That’s going to make her work twice as hard to be her best out there.” 

“Aw, stop it.” Karl didn’t know if his mood brightened because of the compliment, or the touch that returned to his hips before Sapnap walked them toward the bleachers of the event. “You should be her hero. But I guess maybe we could share it, since I’m pretty awesome.” 

“You’re definitely pretty good at the big brother thing.” 

“Well, I’ve had some practice,” Karl replied, settling into the embrace. His heart flipped at the thumb stroking along his waist, unsure if his breathing would give away his stomach’s fluttering. Wanting to keep himself distracted, Karl switched the topic. “Let’s make sure we do something nice for Josie after the festival. Maybe we can take her out to that breakfast place you were telling me about?” 

“Granny Susan’s Cafe?”  

“Yeah! You said everyone loves it, right? I think we could surprise your sister and mom with it as a thanks for letting us stay with them. Obviously Pa will come, too. Make it a whole family event.”

“A family breakfast, huh?” Sapnap laughed, and Karl shrugged at the implication in his tone. 

“Well, they obviously love me. Why not take my rightful place in your family?” He giggled at his own dramatics, but his laughter cut off when the hot hand on his hip tightened. 

“Yeah, I kind of like that idea.” Karl wanted to know what he meant by the statement, but then Sapnap tilted his head up to smile at Karl, hat following the movement. “Then next year, you can help Josie make an even better costume for her performance. Maybe we can try to get Jimmy to let you come a little earlier.” 

“You’re okay with me coming back?” Karl asked, surprised at the ease in Sapnap’s nod. 

“Yeah, of course. It could be our little tradition or something.” Sapnap shrugged, quick to turn his gaze forward when they stopped at the entrance of the performance arena. “I’ll still ask George and Dream if they wanna come, but I think it’s not really a big deal if they end up wanting that time to… I don’t know. Do their thing while we do ours.” 

“Oh.” He tried not to think too deeply into Sapnap’s reply, but his mind rushed into overdrive. Because Sapnap had compared their time together to Dream and George’s, as if they needed moments of just them as a pair. Except they weren’t a couple. They were best friends whether there were no people or a hundred people around. Best friends didn’t make family traditions. But Sapnap didn’t seem to care about the expectations or limitations of their dynamic, because he wanted to keep Karl by his side. 

“So what do you think?” Sapnap shifted them forward in the crowd, getting closer to the entrance. “That something you’d like to do?” 

“Yeah,” Karl answered without hesitation, turning himself to better snuggle into Sapnap’s side. “Of course I’d love to come back.” 

“Then it’s a date.” 

Karl smiled and dropped his head to the crook of Sapnap’s neck, uncaring of the slight strain on his lower back. “Can’t wait, handsome.” 

Thankfully, Josephine’s ride went without another hitch. While Karl understood why she had been concerned, seeing the flashy outfits of the other riders, he still cheered loudest at her performance. Josephine was as talented on a horse as a seven-year-old could be. Karl barely managed to stay upright on a horse when he rode it, nevermind do any tricks. But Josephine, as well as the other younger children, rode like it was in their blood. Karl clapped and shouted praise for each wonderful show, laughing at Sapnap’s whistles piercing through the noise. The applause was even louder for Josephine, both making sure she heard their support each step of her routine. 

“Second place!” Karl grabbed Joephine’s hands in his own when she appeared from the performer’s booth, both jumping in their spot from the excitement. “You did amazing. I’m so proud of you.” 

“That’s the highest I’ve ever gotten!” Josephine said, all previous distress from the earlier breakdown gone. 

“Must be cause I was here to give you some good luck.” Karl winked at her, both laughing before Josephine reached up with a silent request for a hug. Eager to provide physical affection, Karl bent down to hug her, rubbing their cheeks together while they giggled over the heightened feeling of excitement. “You’re going to get first place next year, for sure.” 

“Obviously. I’ll be the best, just like Nick.” 

Hearing her praise of Sapnap made Karl grin, looking over to catch his friend’s stunned expression before he covered it with a laugh. “Well, I wouldn’t be getting too cocky, there…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, hands on her hips with a pout far too close to Sapnap’s. 

“It means you’re still a munchkin who needs to get her equipment into the back of my truck.” Sapnap hiked his thumb over his shoulder toward where Karl knew they’d parked earlier. “Mom’s caught up in something, so I’m bringing you home.”

“Really? Cool!” She gave Karl a final squeeze before snagging her bag from where she’d dropped it, tossing both straps over her shoulders. “I don’t ever get to ride in your truck.” 

“It’s not that much different than mom’s car.”

Karl had seen the size of Grace’s sedan, knowing Josephine probably liked the height of the truck when flying past other cars on the open road. Before he could point out the difference, the cow keychain that hit against the side of Josephine’s bag made Karl’s head spin, looking around for a missing item of his own.

“Karl?” He glanced up when Sapnap called his name with a frown. “You good?” 

“Uh, I think I left my stuffed cow back at the bleachers. Is it okay if I go get it and meet you two at the truck?”

“You sure you won’t get lost trying to find your way back?” 

“I can call you if I do,” Karl said, Sapnap pulling out his phone as if to check his signal before he nodded. 

“Works for me. If you can’t get ahold of me, just look for my mom or Pa. They’re still around helping get ready with some of the stuff tomorrow, so they can show you where the lot is.” 

“Sapnap, I’m fine. If I can navigate New York City, this is a piece of cake.” He may have felt less confident during the peak of the festival, but the setting sun chased most of the visitors away. From what Sapnap had mentioned during their exploring, the late night of the festival was Saturday, when everyone joined together for the Barn Bash. Though Sapnap had not confirmed if they were going, Karl yearned to experience the entire festival, dance included. 

“Alright, just hurry up.” Sapnap reached over to ruffle Karl’s hair, letting his smile grow when Karl laughed and pretended to swat away the touch. “I’m tired, and we’ve got two more days to get through.” 

“Be right back!” 

Despite his claim, Karl didn’t run, taking his time to adventure through the more vacant fairgrounds. Some of the stalls were already closed up, others lingering to finish up with the final customers. The jewelry stand tempted him to stop, but Sapnap’s fatigue pushed his feet forward. By the time he got back to the stands he and Sapnap had sat in, everyone else was gone, and he worried his cow had been picked up by a stranger. His luck kicked in when peeking underneath, seeing that his prize had slipped below during their descent from the bleachers. With a little wiggling, Karl snuck under the seats, and was able to use his long limbs to drag the cow from the dirt it landed in. Though a little worse for wear, the plushie peered up at him, as if happy to be back in his care. 

“Hey there, sweetheart,” Karl cooed at the inanimate animal, squeezing it before tucking it back under his arm. 

Happy with his find, Karl squirmed his way out from under the seats, sending a sheepish smile to the pair that watched him pop out from his spot. He tried to ignore his own discomfort with a wave before he scurried away, hoping the lower light hid his flush. How could he make a fool of himself for millions without breaking a sweat, but felt the heat of embarrassment with just two sets of eyes? Karl shook his head, laughing at his own behavior before he tried to retrace his steps to find Sapnap again.

 “—my boy’s a mess.” Karl paused his steps, Grace’s voice tugging on his lobe. A peek beyond the edge of the ring toss stand revealed Sapnap’s mother, though her attention was on Mackenzie’s hunched frame. Remembering Sapnap’s request, he moved to greet both women, but his words froze in his throat when she continued to speak. “It doesn’t surprise me that he's missing the hints. Nick’s never been the type to know if someone’s flirting with him.” 

Unsure why his heart throbbed at the comment, Karl hid himself closer to the wood of the booth, watching Mackenzie sigh before she pushed up from her position. “I just don’t know how else to get it through Nick’s thick head. You’d think it’d be easier this time, since we’ve already been through this rodeo once.”

His stomach twisted at the confirmation he’d feared since meeting Mackenzie; she did like Sapnap as more than a friend. It made sense, when he thought about their dynamic; growing up as high school sweethearts, seeing each other again in more stable lifestyles probably made them see the other in a better light than whatever broke them up. Sapnap was gorgeous now, though Karl doubted he wasn’t a cutie in his younger years. Mackenzie was lovely, as well, and Karl knew any of their friends would trip over their jaws to get a chance with her. Karl understood it was only a matter of time that Sapnap caught the eye of someone that saw beyond his money and career status, but…

“Well, you know how he was the first time this happened in high school.” Grace gave Mackenize a knowing look, like there was a secret only they knew about. But Karl doubted Mackenzie and Sapnap’s attraction was something they hid from the rest of the town. “I know I wasn’t supposed to know about it, but you two made it so obvious that something was different after that junior summer. He probably thinks these… feelings he’s having right now aren’t returned by the person he’s head over boots for.”

“Oh, trust me. Those feelings are mutual.” Mackenzie laughed, obviously unaware how her joy tore into the center of Karl’s heart. “That chemistry is hotter than highway tar in the desert at noon. I don’t understand how Nick ignores it.” 

“Because my boy was blessed with many things, but confidence in his own value wasn’t one of them.” Grace’s affection for Mackenzie curled her hands over the girl’s shoulders, the plea of her words reflecting in the green eyes. “Have you tried talking to him about it? He’s never been able to lie to you when you lay it to him straight.”

“I tried at the lake,” Mackenzie replied, comfortable with the physical affection. Karl’s mind, like the backstabber it was, danced around a horrible reason for why. Had Mackenzie already thought of Grace as her future mother-in-law, meaning the touch was just an expectation? Karl wanted to think Grace thought of him as family, if the dinner and celebration for his birthday was any indication. But he was no Mackenzie. His role was the same as Dream and George when they came to visit; Sapnap’s friend to stand beside him and cheer on the romance between him and the beautiful girl smacking her forehead. “He just shut me down cause he was so worried about Jack and Karl.” 

“Oh, I could see why that would be a distraction for him.” Grace frowned, worn down lipstick from the long day curving her next suggestion. “I think you should give it one more shot tomorrow. You know, try to give him some tough love.” 

“He’s not going to leave Karl alone,” Mackenzie said, and Karl hated how her smile brightened over his name. “Not that I want to separate them, because they’re adorable when they’re together. But with what I want to discuss with Nick… how do I explain to Karl that I need some one-on-one time with Nick without exposing what I know about his feelings? I don’t want to make things awkward for Karl before Nick has time to tell him that he’s… well, for lack of a better word, smitten with a special someone.” 

Sapnap’s in love with her. Karl read between her lines, feeling his chest cave in at the thought. From how dedicated she was to getting the truth out of Sapnap, it was obvious that Mackenzie felt the same. How long had the two been feeling this way? Why had Sapnap never told him? Then again, from how little Grace reacted to Mackenzie’s comment, maybe Karl had just been naive. They spoke out in the open, like the rest of the world knew who Sapnap was in love with. The pair of the revelation was a hot knife in his heart, tearing into the small bloom of hope he’d had just hours before. While Sapnap had held him, complimented him, and treated Karl like he was special, how many times has his thoughts lingered on Mackenzie? 

And how stupid had Karl been to believe any of his love might have been reciprocated?

Heartbroken, Karl pushed away from the stall, keeping himself silent as he escaped from the upsetting scene. He tried to refocus his mind on his original task of finding Sapnap and Josephine, but his feet couldn’t turn back toward the dirt lot. Everything ached from the stress of the day, none of it hitting into him before his world started to crumble. Thankful that the fairground had barely anyone around to witness his panicked running, Karl turned his attention to something he wished would give him a sliver of the comfort it had hours before. He ignored his heavy breathing and how his lungs tried to remind him of his lack of exercise to keep pushing forward, needing to get somewhere he felt safe enough to fully unravel. 

The sight of the makeshift pen for the farm animals made Karl slow to a walk, glancing around for any sign of Randall. Seeing nobody around, he let out a final breath, collapsing against the wood when he let everything fall apart. Karl panted into the warm air, finally feeling the sweat against his neck and cheeks from his running and the humid night. He looked up when hearing a familiar moo, Karl’s small smile breaking through his broken heart when seeing Lightning Bug. The calf trotted forward like she remembered Karl, pacing back and forth by the planks that kept them apart. Wanting to be closer, Karl shoved his foot onto the wood, hiking himself up over the fence and into the pasteur. Like a magnet, Lightning Bug pressed her forehead into Karl’s stomach. 

“Oh, baba.” 

Eyes welling at the soft affection, Karl’s knees gave out, both finding the soft ground beneath him. His sob filled the summer skyline, arms shaky when wrapping around Lightning Bug’s neck to pull her closer. He closed his eyes, but it didn’t stop the onslaught of emotions battering his weary heart. Karl’s mind drifted to the earlier memory of him and Sapnap, debating names for the precious animal in his embrace. At the time, everything had felt so perfect, unaware that the overwhelming feelings in his chest would be used as a weapon on the same day. 

A gentle nudge into his back pulled his face from the scruff of Lightning Bug’s neck, looking behind him to see Annabelle’s big eyes watching him. He laughed when another set of tears dripped down his face, reaching one hand out to press against her wet jaw. 

“Hey there, darling. I got you a friend to keep you company while Sapnap’s gone.” A hot puff of air from her snout was her only response, and Karl’s lips trembled from his watery words. “I promise I’ll come back and visit you and Lightning Bug every year. Even if it… if seeing Sapnap and Mackenzie in love will…” 

Unable to finish the painful truth, Karl dropped his face back against Lightning Bug’s fur, shoulders heaving in his loud tears of heartbreak. Adopting her meant a piece of his heart now lived in Texas. 

The rest of it belonged to a man he couldn’t call his own.

Chapter Text

Sapnap wanted to pull his hair out. 

He hadn’t thought the growing frustration in his chest could get any bigger without bursting through the flesh. His jaw ached from how often it clenched throughout the morning, unsure if he’d ever be able to open his mouth wide again without cracking the joints. Saturday was always the longest day of the festival, with the biggest rewards for more who came there. Though he avoided the Barn Bash, Sapnap always enjoyed spending time late into the evening, using the hours to explore every stand and ride he could. But the morning had been confusing. Even with a much smaller shift of running the dunk tank (refusing to get in it, despite his uncle always loving the role), Sapnap felt fatigued. 

Mainly, because Karl was being weird . He still laughed at Grace’s jokes in the morning over breakfast, helped Josephine pick out her outfit for the day at the fair. Karl never ignored Sapnap when he tried to start a conversation, throwing in his casual comments of head nods at the right time. But Sapnap knew Karl too well to miss the dimmer edges of his smile, and subdued excitement whenever Sapnap pointed out something for them to try after picking him up from Pa’s petting pen. Karl’s affection when saying goodbye to Lightning Bug didn’t reach his normal level of genuine warmth. Pa hadn’t said anything to Sapnap when he showed up, but one look from the older eyes proved he had also picked up on Karl’s small changes. The problem was, neither of them knew what had switched Karl’s happy aura from the day before.

Sapnap tried not to push the topic when showing Karl around the fair. His mind did its best to remember what Karl had been excited to see the previous day, when they didn’t have as much time to fully dive into the events. They stopped at the basketball toss, Sapnap trying to show off for his friend by sinking shot after shot to get the high score. Karl’s little clap and smile didn’t tug at his heart, the hollow reaction almost worse than if he’d been silent. The irritation grew when Sapnap got a similar response to the balloon dart game, wanting to shove his fist into his mouth. Instead, he held down his anger, snagging Karl’s wrist and pulling him toward the ring toss.

 “Alright, Jacobs.” Even the name couldn’t bring out the real glow in Karl’s eyes, but Sapnap pushed forward with his plan. “I’m going to show you why I got banned from these games when I was a kid. They used to say I was cheating cause I hit so many ring tosses.”

“You really want another stuffed animal?” Despite the strange energy between them, Karl still leaned closer when propping his hips on the edge of the booth. “Or is this a pride thing?” 

“Maybe I just like winning you stuff.” Sapnap watched Karl’s cheeks darken under the reply, though he scowled when the pretty flush was ruined when Karl dropped his gaze away.

“You don’t have to give it to me.” Karl hadn’t worn long sleeves the second day of the festival, but Sapnap could imagine his desire to make his iconic sweater paws. “Actually, maybe… you should try to win one for Mackenzie.”

“Kenzie?” Sapnap squinted in his confusion, trying to read the hidden emotion on Karl’s face. “Uh, pretty sure she can win a hundred of these on her own. And she might actually punch me if I do something weird like that.” 

“That’s not weird! Not if—” But Karl stopped himself, and Sapnap blew out a long breath of frustration when the broken sentence killed the conversation.

“If you don’t want it, I can give it to the munchkin. Don’t have to be weird about it.” Sapnap turned back to the game, hating the sour taste that lingered in his mouth after the sentence. Karl loved things soft and fluffy. He’d been enamored by Sapnap’s skills the day before, accepted the won prizes with warm cheeks and a beautiful smile. Why was he acting like the thought of Sapnap doing something nice for him had become…appalling? 

“Hey.” A tug on Sapnap’s rolled up sleeve made him look back at Karl, hating how easily his tense back relaxed when catching the softer gaze looking down at him. “I want the bunny.” 

“You don’t have to—”

“Please?” 

Like wet paper, Sapnap’s ire folded into nothing at Karl’s little smile. He wasn’t sure what was causing the hot and cold behavior, or how to predict when Karl’s next mood change would happen. Despite only having a few years together, Sapnap liked to think he knew Karl better than most. The sudden wall that had slipped between them came out of left field, and the need to break it down twined itself around Sapnap’s brain with each passing second. He poured his irritation into the game, easily earning the stuffed animal Karl had requested. When Sapnap held out the purple bunny, Karl pulled it to his chest, lips pressing against the furry forehead before peeking over its head at Sapnap. The look held an edge that scratched at his spine, but he tried to ignore it when redirecting them to the apple bobbing line. 

“You ever done this before?” 

At Sapnap’s question, Karl shook his head, plushie still held tightly in his arms. “Nope. Is it hard?”

“It can be annoying as fuck. And expect to get wet.” 

“Good thing I wore the right clothes for that.” Karl’s dry reply while motioning to his white shirt earned Sapnap’s snort, pressing his elbow into the other’s slimmer side. 

Karl’s giggle was a soothing balm over his ears, missing the sound throughout their morning. The good feeling was short-lived when Karl tugged out his phone. Throughout the week, neither had spent time on their devices, choosing to devote their attention to enjoying the short time they had in Texas. Seeing the device pulled out in a rare moment where it was only the two of them made Sapnap’s stomach clench. Was Karl starting to lose his excitement over being with him in Texas? Did the trip lose its shine, and he was looking forward to getting back home? A home without… 

Shaking his head from the negative feelings, Sapnap glanced around the area, eyes falling on a poster hanging on the entrance of the apple bobbing arena. “Oh.” 

“What’s up?” 

“Nothing, just saw a poster for the Barn Bash.” Then, remembering Karl’s excitement at the lake, Sapnap glanced back at Karl. “I talked to my mom and Pa this morning. You know, about the dance?”

“Really?” The topic dragged Karl’s attention from the phone, hope blooming in the blue gaze. “What did they say?” 

“Pa’s got some helpers that are gonna bring the cattle back to the farm tomorrow, so he can get one more day of selling in. We’re free tonight, if you…” He hesitated, but the first real smile on Karl’s face made him shove down his own discomfort with the event. “You wanna go with me to the dance? See what a real party looks like?”

“Yes!” Karl hopped in his spot for a few seconds before he paused, a hesitation curving his words. “But, are you sure you want to go? I don’t wanna make you stay up late if you really hate it.” 

“Hey.” Stepping closer to Karl, he smiled when catching the other off guard by their proximity. “I’m not the biggest fan of dances, but I’m down to go if you’re gonna be there. Really, I’m down for whatever if I get to spend time with you.” 

“You’re such a flirt.” Karl tried to hide his embarrassment with his teasing tone, but Sapnap saw through his ruse. There was the spark he’d felt during Karl’s birthday, and throughout most of the day before. He wanted to bottle it up and hold it to his chest, or use it to break through the distance between them. 

“So, you’ll go with me?” Reaching out, Sapnap pushed Karl’s hair behind his ear, wondering if he had been just looking for a reason to touch Karl. 

From the slight hitch in Karl’s breath, he also had noticed the lack of physical touch between them throughout the day. “Yeah, sure.” 

“Cool.” Slow to drop his hand, Sapnap turned his attention to the line again, realizing it had disappeared during their conversation. “Oh, shit. Guess it’s our turn.” 

Unlike the other festival games, Sapnap did not have the same skill for apple bobbing. He shrugged off his plaid shirt, grateful his undershirt was black when perching over the steel container. Karl met his eyes across the water before the foghorn went off, both dunking face first into cold water. Despite the sun beating down on the large pails, the constant refills kept it chilly, and Sapnap almost snorted the water on his first try. From Karl’s squeals and the laughter around them, he wasn’t doing any better. Taking another shaky breath, he dove back in, ignoring the water soaking his clothes to try and win. 

In the end, Karl’s teeth grabbed the apple first, Sapnap pulling out of the water when hearing the cheers from the on-lookers. Letting the stream dribble off his chin, Sapnap looked up, watching Karl’s fists pump in the air during his victory. He didn’t spit out the apple in his flaunting, somehow making himself cute despite the stupid look. Karl took his ‘prize’ with him when they pushed off their knees, not seeming to care about how transparent the shirt clinging to his body became. Sapnap tried not to notice how Karl’s nipples peeked through the flimsy fabric, grateful when the booth runner’s giggle grabbed his focus. 

“Wow, Nick.” She handed Karl a plastic trophy that was no bigger than their palm, though Karl cradled it like it was gold. “You’ve sure got a lively one on your hands.” 

“He’s one of a kind, for sure,” Sapnap said while slipping his second shirt back on. He knew his words sounded more like a brag than an insult. 

His heart skipped a few beats when she gave him a sly look. “Why is it you always manage to snag the pretty partners? You better be smart and settle down with this one.” 

“Oh, I—” Karl’s smile dropped for only a moment, but his forced laughter afterward covered the hiccup in his facade. “Bet I’m nothing compared to what Mackenzie and Sapnap looked like in high school.” 

Sapnap’s stomach twisted when his childhood friend was brought up again, wanting to yank his lips into a frown. He was happy that Karl seemed to like his friends, and he hoped they got to spend some time together at the Barn Bash. Mackenzie was one of Sapnap’s favorite people from his hometown, and he always thought she would get along with Karl. But Karl’s sudden need to pull her into every moment between them tugged at something unpleasant in the back of his mind. 

His discomfort over the change fell to the backburner when seeing Karl shiver from the water collected in his shirt. Though the weather was beautiful outside, Karl never handled temperature changes well, and Sapnap didn’t want to take a chance on him getting sick. “We should go. I’ve gotta get him something to keep him warm.” 

“Oh, of course! Tell your momma I say hello.” 

Sapnap waved and tugged Karl away from the apple bobbing stall, making sure to link their fingers together so they didn’t get separated. If Karl minded, he didn’t say anything, but it felt wrong that Sapnap had to question if his touch was welcome. Karl loved being shown affection, everyone knew that. They’d held hands plenty of times before! Yet while he led Karl back to where his truck was parked, the fear that Karl would try to shake away his touch never left.  

“I think I have a jacket back here.” He hopped into the backseat of his truck, knee pressing to the seat while he scavaged through the random items on his floor. 

“You don’t normally wear jackets,” Karl said from below, waiting for him on the ground. “All I ever see you in is sweatshirts.” 

“Yeah, this one’s from my high school. My varsity jacket from playing football.” His eyes lit up when seeing the yellow and blue coloring of his old school. With a few wiggling tugs, he was able to pull it out from where it was wedged, grinning before he jumped out of his truck. Shaking it to get rid of any crumbs or dirt that may have come from being in the truck, he held out the jacket to Karl. “Here, see if it fits.” 

“Well, considering all your high school clothes swallow me…” 

“You just like stealing my stuff.”

Karl giggled, quick to slip the rough material over his shoulders. Sapnap stepped back, hands shoved into his jeans pockets while taking in the new look. Karl’s body was still slimmer than when he was in high school, meaning the fabric ate him without a fight. With a few gentle tugs on the front of the jacket, Karl looked back at Sapnap, meek in his smile like he was waiting for Sapnap’s critique. But there was nothing to alter; ‘breathtaking’ was the only word that came to Sapnap’s mind. He didn’t know Karl back when he got the jacket, and never thought of what it’d look like draped over someone else’s back. Now, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to wear it again without wishing it was on Karl instead. 

God, I wanna kiss him.

The urge to step up and finally taste the mouth that he’d paid too much attention to almost made him move. What kept his feet still was the weird tension that kept dancing around them. Before he took a chance on adding more stress to their current relationship, he needed to iron out the new wrinkles that had popped up overnight. He needed to make sure that each loose end was taken care of. Karl’s place in his life was too important to throw away on an impulse. 

Taking a slow breath, Sapnap used his words instead. “Looks good on you. You gonna try to steal it?”

“Why would you say that?” 

“Because you steal everything that you like.” Sapnap shrugged, leaning back against the truck after shutting the door. “George still wants his stuff back.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Karl grinned at his own joke, but the moment of joy fled his face when an unspoken thought dimmed the mood. Confused, Sapnap watched with furrowed brows when Karl’s nervous fingers tugged at the bottom of the jacket. “Unless you, uh… wanted someone else to have it. Giving your jacket is kind of a symbol or something, right?” 

“Karl.” Wanting to cut through the aggravating tension, Sapnap stepped forward, snagging one of his fists to get his attention. With a smile he hoped alleviated the stiff shoulders in front of him, Sapnap continued. “I don’t want anyone else to wear it but you, okay?” 

“Are you sure?” 

The insecurity in the question was another piece of evidence that something was off with Karl. In all the years they’d been friends, even before the questioning about their dynamic, Karl was never one to shrug off a compliment. His friend lived in the limelight, basked in each kind word with giggles and winks. Sapnap loved watching Karl’s face light up in his excitement, tugging on his sleeve to ask for more ‘pretty words’. 

The Karl standing in front of him showed none of his usual joy, even when he pushed out a laugh that was drier than the hay by the entrance. “You’re really hard not to swoon over.”

“Who says you shouldn’t?” Hoping to use the joke to bring Karl out of his shell, Sapnap tugged at the brim of his cowboy hat. “Since you’re my fiance and all.” 

Finally, he earned another real smile. “Don’t see a ring on my finger.” 

“Then let's go win you one; I’m sure one of these stupid stalls has it as a prize.” 

They didn’t find what Sapnap was looking for, but the funnel cake caught enough of Karl’s attention to divert their plans. Sapnap offered to pay, knowing the treat was something Karl had been looking forward to the whole trip. Karl’s eyes shined when presented with the sweet treat, and Sapnap let out a sigh of relief when Karl hugged his arm before taking the carnival treat over to a table. Powdered sugar peppered Karl’s lips while he bit into his snack, Sapnap leaning his chin in his palm to watch his friend make a mess of himself. He didn’t care if it stained his jacket, knowing he’d trade most things to keep Karl’s giggle in the warm air when he almost lost the bite of dough hanging from his lips. 

He just wanted Karl to stay happy with him. 

“Do you want to get a drink? I think there’s water somewhere.” Sapnap looked around them, but when Karl didn’t answer, he turned his attention back to the quiet man in front of him. Karl’s eyes were back on his phone, though Sapnap couldn’t tell if whatever he was seeing was good or bad news. “Karl?” 

“Huh?” A quick glance up washed away the previous expression, tilting his head. “Sorry, what did you need?”

“I asked if you wanted something to drink.” 

“Oh, yeah! Good idea. I could totally chug some Monster or something if they’ve got it.” 

He doubted the particular drink would show up in the festival vendors, but Sapnap nodded, glancing back at the device Karl dropped on the table. “You’ve been looking at your phone a lot. Jimmy texting you or something?” 

“Wrong J.” Karl pushed up from the table, crumpling the paper plate to throw it in the wastebasket just outside the food stall. Not wanting to lose the conversation, Sapnap followed, though his feet froze mid-step when Karl continued. “Actually, Jackson’s been texting me.” 

“You got his number?” Sapnap asked, unsure why the nod made his eye twitch. “When?”

“At the lake, remember?” He didn’t, and he wondered if it was when he was talking with Mackenzie. “We were sharing music and stuff. He asked me about the dance tonight, saying he’d sneak me out if you tried to make me work. But I told him you wanna stop by tonight, so no worries!” 

“Oh, cool.” An uncomfortable energy buzzed under his skin, Sapnap untucking his sleeve before rerolling it to distract himself. “Guess we can see him there or something.” 

“Actually…” Karl’s hesitance made a cold tingle creep down Sapnap’s spine, and for the first time, he didn’t want to hear Karl continue. “He offered to hang out with me for a little bit before the dance.” 

“I thought we were gonna spend today together?” He asked, a little sharper than he intended. 

But Karl didn’t flinch, nodding to soothe the bubbling irritation in Sapnap’s stomach. “Yeah, of course! I just thought— I think Mackenzie wanted you to go visit her at her booth.”

“What?” Scrunching his nose at the random tidbit of information, Sapnap scoffed. “When did she say that?” 

“Maybe at the lake?” Karl’s eyes darted to the left, fingers toying with his rings when he shrugged. “But you’ve been stuck with me this whole week, so I thought hanging out with her might be a breath of fresh air for you.” 

Sapnap’s immediate thought was to deny the offer rushed to his lips, but he held back when he thought over Karl’s strange behavior. He hadn’t heard Karl talk so much about Mackenzie since meeting her, yet her name was tattooed on his tongue all morning. Whatever was going on with his best friend, Mackenzie had something to do with it. He wasn’t happy about wasting his time with Karl, but he needed to figure out what was causing the distance between them. 

Annoyed over what he needed to do, Sapnap sighed. “I guess I can swing by or something, just to let her know we’re going tonight. Can you go find my mom and sister and tell them about our new plans? They should be helping Pa out with the booth, so they won’t be hard to find. Also, maybe you can introduce the munchkin to Lightning Bug.” 

Karl’s initial panic at Sapnap’s agreement faded with his suggestion to hang out with his family and their shared calf. “Oh, sure! You can count on me.” 

“Then I’ll meet you over there when I’m done.” Lips pressed together after a concerning thought, Sapnap leaned forward and flicked his forehead. “ Don’t go find Jack-off. Got it?” 

“I told you I’d go find your mom!” Annoyed, Karl swatted the hand before he huffed. “But if you end up wanting to… I don’t know, stay with Mackenzie—” 

“Then what, ditch you to hang out?” Sapnap rolled his eyes before he met Karl’s widened gaze, making sure to slow his response down so it wasn’t misheard. “I’m going to the Barn Bash with you, and nobody else. Got it?” 

Karl’s cheeks looked burnt with his flush, but he nodded. His smile bloomed with more beauty than a sunflower, and basking in the glow made Sapnap’s body move on its own. Yanking the surprised man forward, he wrapped his arms around Karl, squeezing him closer while pressing his face into the crook of the slender neck. There was a hint of sweat and dirt from the long day, but Sapnap picked up on the wisps of his cologne from the morning. Closing his eyes, Sapnap settled in the moment, ignoring the brush of warm skin against his lips. 

“What’s this for?” Karl asked, softer from the proximity. 

Sapnap shrugged, spilling his truth with a lax mouth. “You just make everything better. I’ve missed getting to hang out with you like this, without a Mr. Beast camera or some sponsor stream wedged between us.” 

“We can hang out more after this.” With reluctance, Sapnap let Karl pull back, looking up at his warm expression. “I’ll try to come by Florida more, though I think Foolish wouldn’t mind you staying for another month with us.” 

“Only if my room’s still there.” 

“It’s always there for you, handsome.” Then, as if his common compliment crossed a line they never worried about, Karl glanced to the food stand. “Bring her some funnel cake. She’ll like that.”

Then, Karl gave a sheepish smile that rubbed against Sapnap’s spine like sandpaper before he scurried away. Though Sapnap had wanted to follow Karl, living for their softer moments that tip-toed beyond the boundaries of friendship, he forced himself to buy another funnel cake (to eat in front of Mackenzie to spite her) and headed the opposite way. He needed to figure out what piece of the strange puzzle he was missing, and only one woman could give him the information. Sapnap didn’t need instructions to weave his way through the festival, knowing exactly where the kissing booth would be. It’d been in the same lot for the past decade, and he doubted Mackenzie’s family would change tradition. 

When he caught sight of familiar blue eyes and bright pink lipstick, Sapnap didn’t introduce himself. “What the hell did you and Jack-off tell Karl behind my back?” 

“Nick.” Her annoyance over his blunt interruption earned her pursed lips, though she switched it into a charming smile when she turned back to the customers in front of her. “Excuse me, but I have to remind my friend what manners are. Ginny, come take over my spot at the booth!” 

“Uh, sorry.” He wasn’t sure if he was aiming his apology to the pair sending him annoyed glares or Mackenzie’s older sister coming to overtake the stool Mackenzie once sat on. None of them replied, though Ginny’s smile looked too fond to hold any real anger. 

Mackenzie wrapped her soft hand around his wrist, feeling more like steel from its power when dragging him away from their audience. Though there wasn’t much privacy in such an open space, she hauled him behind one of the vacant stalls before she whirled around to poke her nail hard into his chest. “You did not come stomping over here with that attitude aimed at me because you can’t open your dumb mouth.”

“ My dumb mouth?” Sputtering over the accusation, Sapnap crossed his arms, glaring at his friend. “How are you going to pin this on me? When I went to bed last night, Karl was fine. Now, he’s… he’s not.” 

“Ugh, boys.” Mackenzie rolled her eyes, taking a slow breath before she relaxed her grip on his wrist. “Okay, because I’m the only person with half a brain in her head, tell me what’s going on. Why do you think something’s wrong with Karl?” 

“All day, his whole mood has been off. He keeps falling into his normal behavior, with nicknames and physical affection. But then something comes over him, like he’s remembering something bitter, and then he brings you up. Telling me to win you things, offering to hang out with Jack so we have ‘time together’, and the looks— it’s all fucking wrong.” Hating how the words tugged at his heartstrings, Sapnap slumped his shoulders forward. “Why does he think I… I don’t want to hang out with him? I think about kissing him everytime he smiles at me.”

“You…” Something flashed through her eyes, and for the first time since they’d met, Mackenzie didn’t speak her mind. Sapnap almost flinched away at the change in her behavior, hating the defensiveness that rose through his blood. 

“What? Go on, tell me.” He needed to hear what she kept behind her silent lips, trusting Mackenzie more than almost anyone in his hometown. Whatever she was seeing became his focal point, his lungs refusing to breathe until she spoke. 

“Have you told him the truth?” She didn’t give him time to answer, Mackenzie stepping closer despite her rising voice. “Or did you hope that he’d figure it out without putting your heart on the line?”

“It’s… what does it matter? Karl’s not dumb.” 

She frowned at his avoidant reply. “Nick, everytime something in your life shifts in a way you don’t think is right, you get freaked out and clam up. Like you’re scared you somehow failed people you love for not being the person they want you to be. Everyone else around you has to take the risk before you’ll follow them into whatever crazy idea you secretly wanted to do first.” 

“I went halfway across the country to stream with Dream. How is that not taking a risk?”

“You went there because Dream and George are your safe place.” The ease in her tone didn’t feel like a strike, but Sapnap still felt under attack with her blunt honesty. “They wouldn’t abandon you for liking men, instead of giving your family the chance to maybe reject you. The second their relationship became real, here you are, running back to Texas with your other safe place. Except now Karl’s more than just a friend: he’s hogtied your whole heart, and you’re trying to blame me and Jack for you not telling another person how you feel. Again .” 

Sapnap’s hand trembled by his side when he curled it into a fist. “So, what? The problem is that I’m a coward?” 

“You’re not; you’re one of the bravest fellas I know. Well, when it comes to everything outside of your heart. That’s one of the things I found out when dating you.” Dumbstruck at her words, Sapnap fell silent, and she reached out to link their hands together. “The reason I first fell for you was how you would take chances and not care if you failed. You made the rule about the rope at the lake, you were the first of us to learn bull-riding. But ever since that night in the barn with me, where you realized you liked men, you’re always so worried about the consequences of living for the things you want.”

“I don’t have to want Karl,” Sapnap said, shaking his head. “He’s my best friend, I already have him.” 

“Not the way you want. Because if it was, you wouldn’t care that Jack plans to ask Karl to go to the bull-riding event with him tomorrow.”

“He’s what ?”

Mackenzie nodded, not pulling any punches. “You know what’s going on after the riding competition, right? The fireworks. Jack’s going to impress him with his bull-riding, then probably make a move when they watch the fireworks together.” 

“Karl’s not gonna ditch me for Jack,” Sapnap replied, Mackenzie’s eyes rounding with a sympathy that made his stomach twist. 

“Maybe he won't this time because he’s still hopeful you’ll give him a reason to turn Jack down. Except this isn’t going to be the only situation where someone wants to fall in love with him. If you don’t say something, someone else is going to take the chance you won’t. Karl’s waiting for you, but he’s only human. He wants to be loved back.”

“I do love him!” He tugged at his hat, hating how the words didn’t seem enough. “We tell each other all the time how much we love each other. Karl’s not afraid to tell people how he feels about them.”

“But are you afraid to be something special to him?” The innocent question choked Sapnap, and Mackenzie sighed before pulling him forward into a hug. “Please, listen to me. Don’t let him slip away because you’re scared you’re not good enough for someone to want to keep.”

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Sure you don’t.” She sighed, stepping back before her eyes dropped down and blinked. “Hey, is that funnel cake? Cause after dealing with your constipated emotions, I could use a snack—”

“Oh, yeah?” Making eye-contact, Sapnap took a chunk of the sweet treat off the plate with his teeth, chewing through a grin when she huffed at him. “It’s mine.” 

“The funnel cake, or something—” She cleared her throat, too smug in her correction. “ Someone else?”

“You are never meeting George.” 

Her laugh curled around his ear when he stormed away, grumbling through the half-chewed dough while he looked for Karl again. The search didn’t take long, his friend thankfully listening to his direction to go to his family and wait for his return. He wanted to scowl at Karl’s surprised blink when he stopped next to him, like he hadn’t expected Sapnap to return. Like he still had the crazy idea that Sapnap wanted to spend the final hours of sunset with Mackenzie instead of him. None of the thoughts that Karl wore on his face spilled from his lips, instead smiling and poking his arm to beg for Sapnap’s last bite of sweetened funnel cake. 

As soon as the first whisper of night peeked over the horizon, Sapnap felt the shift in the atmosphere. Like a siren, the far back of the festival called him, and he dragged them to his truck to drive to the opposite side of the fairground, Pa’s truck right behind him. Sapnap let Karl wrap an arm around his bicep when hopping out of the cabin, following Pa, Josephine, and his mom toward the huge barn. He knew they’d done work to the hall, the structure several times larger than it’d been when he was a child. What once was a shabby, abandoned shack that the town could sell, the dance location was now buzzing with new wood and a freshly shingled roof. The alluring scent of bar-be-que danced with the music in the air, the soft feminine chords too fresh to be recorded. Despite the crowd now piling in, Sapnap caught a glimpse of the band behind the woman greeting the citizens with a friendly country song. His eyes glanced at the jugs of unknown alcohol Jack and a friend from the lake carried from the back of a truck, knowing it was moonshine without needing to taste it. The insane amount of people who got wasted in the summer night was the reason there was a buffet every stall renter was required to pitch in for. 

When Jack’s eyes fell on him, the look of mischief made him shut down the obvious plot. “No fucking way.” 

“Aw, Nick! Don’t be a wet blanket.” Jack kicked at his leg while they passed. “Come bring Karl over and give him a little taste of a southern greeting!” 

“Stay away from that,” Sapnap mumbled when leaning closer to Karl, pointing toward the snickering men disappearing. “Unless you want to be on your ass in three minutes.”

“What is it?” Karl asked, Sapnap holding back his groan when seeing Karl’s curiosity grow. Neither of them were heavy drinkers, but even the strongest livers quivered at the brew in the barrel. 

“This right here?” With a grunt, Jack placed the barrel onto the grass by the entrance of the barn. “I ain’t surprised the city boy doesn’t know what real alcohol is until you get Uncle Arty’s Apple Pie Moonshine!”

“Apple pie?” Karl’s hands clapped together, eyes too bright at the mentioned taste. “Oh, that sounds amazing.” 

“Karl,” Sapnap said, wishing his voice held more timber when Karl spun around and offered him puppy dog eyes. “I’m not going to dig your grave cause you’re a nimrod.” 

The friend laughed, dropping an arm on Jack’s shoulder. “Someone’s acting more like a guard dog than a friend.” 

“Guess our guy’s got some teeth when he cares about something,” Jack replied, and Sapnap tried to bite back his irritation to focus on Karl’s rounding gaze.

“Just one cup?” 

“You…” Sighing, he let his shoulders sink away from their tense position, praying he didn’t regret his next words. “Half a cup.” 

“Yippee!” Karl’s arms snaked around Sapnap’s neck to hug him to his chest, Sapnap peeking over his shoulder toward the two men watching them. Acid burned his stomach at the obvious interest in Jack’s gaze rolling down Karl’s back, looking too smitten for Sapnap’s heart to swallow. With a huff, he wrapped his arms around Karl, like a shield from the watchful eyes. Karl didn’t fight the touch, almost melting into the embrace. The moment lasted a few moments before Karl slipped away, snagging Sapnap’s wrist to drag him over to Jack and the moonshine. 

Despite Sapnap’s caution, Karl’s tipsy smile took over his lips an hour into the Barn Bash. The red solo cup in Karl’s hand never left his grip, but Sapnap wondered if his sneaky friends ‘helped’ keep his drink half-filled whenever a call of Sapnap’s name dragged his attention away. From Karl’s innocent grin and giggles between sips, Sapnap refused to let the wool stay too long over his eyes, snatching the cup and cutting off his friend by chugging the strong alcohol. But the damage had already been done: Karl’s flushed cheeks and loose movements proved he was feeling good. Sapnap hated how quickly his heart drowned in his own feelings at the sight, fingers twitching with the desire to cup the warm face in his palms.

With empty hands and a free mind, Karl shot to the dance floor. Though the main area was covered in hard dirt smoothed out with cowboy boots, there was a wooden platform that was higher than the main floor. Karl didn’t hesitate to take the center stage, dragging everyone he could to join him in the spotlight. Sapnap’s mother was first, the head-strong woman only laughing through her adoring expression when Karl helped her onto the glossed wood. Hearing the cat-calls from the crowd made Sapnap groan and cover his face, mentally threatening to dunk any of the idiots cheering for Karl to spin his mother around. 

“My turn!” Josephine shouted from below the platform once the song ended, her arms up in the air to let Karl hoist her up. She squealed when taking center stage, waving to everyone watching while Karl laughed at her joy. The band seemed to fall under Karl’s spell, the same as the whole event, starting up another song to watch him dance with his newest partner. 

And Karl didn’t stop with Sapnap’s family. Like the world was his to play with, Karl charmed every giggling girl and swooning old woman with his dancing and unrelenting energy. Sapnap doubted he knew the lyrics to any of the country songs that had been his entire childhood, but Karl didn’t seem to care. As he swapped out Sapnap’s old chemistry partner for Mackenzie, Karl’s excitement never lowered, treating each person he led in his embrace like they were his only worry in the world. They all fell in love with him for those few free moments, swaying like the lights inside the hanging mason jars. The Karl effect struck again, like clockwork.

Sapnap, while watching his heart dance freely around the wooden platform, couldn’t blame them. 

“Alright, you little jitterbug.” Jack’s call-out to Karl marred Sapnap’s good feeling under his buzz, mouth catching the sour taste of the alcohol when his high school friend hopped up onto the platform. “Let’s see how you do when someone else takes you for a spin.” 

“Jackson!” Karl’s giggle crept down Sapnap’s spine with more of a scratch than its normal caress, turning into cat claws when Karl’s arms flopped over Jack’s shoulders. “That moonshine was something else. Of course I’ll let you have a dance.” 

“If I’m the best dancer of the night, you gotta let me have a special prize,” Jack said, and the eyes that fell over Karl’s syrupy-sweet smile was all Sapnap needed to know what he wanted. 

Karl only laughed, seeming too tipsy and thrilled over another dance partner to care about the flirty undertones. “Come on, dance with me!” 

And to Sapnap’s displeasure, Jack was good on his feet. It didn’t surprise Sapnap, who knew that he always enjoyed charming people with the sway of his body. Karl was spun and lifted to the spunky beat of the song, and he looked starstruck when a strong arm dipped him down like a princess. Karl fell against his chest when he was pulled upright, having to look up from their height difference. Because Jack was tall, way taller than Sapnap, like most people wanted to be. He didn’t want to admit that they looked like a Hallmark movie, the moment when the protagonist fell hopelessly for the hometown heartthrob. 

“ Fuck that.” Sapnap downed the last of his drink before tossing the empty bottle to the trash, pushing through his group of friends to get to the stairs of the platform. He ignored Mackenzie’s cheer of his name, knowing his embarrassment would make him turn around if he caught her smug look. Instead, he kept his sights on Jack and Karl, the latter looking elated when finally catching on to the newcomer on the stage.

“Nick.” Karl’s whisper of his real name rushed through Sapnap’s lungs like natural spring water, too pure to experience every day without it changing his very soul. “I’ve been waiting for you.” 

“Karl’s waiting for you, but he’s only human. He wants to be loved back.”

Like a hot iron, Mackenzie’s soft words floated to the back of his mind. He shoved it down, refusing to give it any space to fester when Jack’s arm looked too cozy over Karl’s hips. His fingers curled into a fist by his side, unsure where he wanted the tense knuckles to land. 

“Yeah,” he said instead, moving his eyes to Karl’s when he pulled out his own southern charm. “Just letting everyone else warm you up for the fella you came here with.” 

“Oh.” Lashes fluttering, Karl’s mouth dropped open with his surprise, breaking from Jack’s hold to slip into Sapnap’s proximity. He didn’t seem to notice having to tilt his chin down to express his adoration, hands collecting his between warm fingers. “You’ll really dance with me?” 

“ Only with you,” Sapnap replied, wondering if his own loose lips came from his chugging of the moonshine too pure to drink so fast.

Jack’s whistle made Sapnap look over Karl’s shoulder, unsure if he liked the smirk crossing his friend’s face. “Smooth move, partner. Guess you win this round.” 

The tip of the hat didn’t feel like a victory. Sapnap knew Jack. Because Sapnap kept his mouth too close-knit to express his interest with men until after they graduated, most didn’t know the truth about his sexuality. To Jack, this wasn’t Sapnap staking a romantic claim over someone he was invested in. Sapnap probably looked like a good friend just taking care of the person he’d invited. Platonic, harmless, and nothing to stop Jack from pursuing Karl another time. Acid burned the edges of his heart at the thought, but he didn’t let the feeling bubble past his lips. Instead, he tucked Karl closer, waiting until Jack left the platform to loosen his hold. 

Like they’d been watching (which they might have, nosey as everyone else in the small town), the band only waited a heartbeat to start up their new song. Softer than the lively music that had carried the festival, Sapnap blinked at the slower chords. Karl didn’t miss a beat, arms sliding up without hesitation to wrap around his neck. The few stupid school dances Sapnap had attended dragged his arms a little lower on Karl’s waist, only shifting his weight once Karl sighed into his ear. 

“I love this song.” 

Sapnap took a quick glance to the dancefloor below them, watching the crowd pairing up to sway to the endearing track. “I’ve never heard of it.” 

“Don’t let Hannah hear that.” Karl’s soft giggle followed Sapanp’s scoff, his head leaning against the side of Sapnap’s hat. “It reminds me of you.” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah, it’s…just the feeling it gives me. The mood.” 

Though he wasn’t as connected to music as Dream, Sapnap still tried to understand the meaning while he let his feet follow Karl’s gentle movements. “Is that a good thing?” 

“Always.” 

Unsure why the conviction in Karl’s words made his stomach warm, Sapnap tightened his touch before he lifted Karl up from the ground, spinning the giggling man around. He didn’t care about how ridiculous they looked, the warm arms around his neck too comforting to give up. Once sure both were too dizzy to continue, Sapnap dropped him back to his feet, closing his eyes and turning his face to press the bridge of his nose along Karl’s flushed cheek. He wanted to settle into the moment, not thinking about what crossed his face for the outside world to see. Karl held his attention without words, his gentle breathing against Sapnap’s chest when moving closer in their dance more than enough to block out the universe. Under the safety of the mason jar lights and southern flow of music, Sapnap didn’t carry the weight of insecurity and confusion on his shoulders. All he needed to care for was Karl, and the soft curls that brushed his ear anytime Karl tugged him into another lackadaisical turn. 

Baby you showed me what living is for, I don’t want to hide anymore.

The gentle shiver under his arms made Sapnap open his eyes, slow to step back. He didn’t go far, just enough to catch the doe eyes that appeared behind Karl’s long lashes. Despite their relaxed framing, the blue gaze focused on Sapnap, long fingers tangling in the wisps of hair on his nape. The affection that blazed through Karl’s expression held more weight than any swig of moonshine could be blamed for. Despite everyone and their mother watching, Sapnap’s mouth buzzed with the desire to kiss him. The urge nearly ripped his heart from his chest, demanding he show Jack and anyone else who wanted to steal Karl away that it would never happen. 

But Mackenzie was right; no matter what Sapnap’s soul demanded, his body wouldn’t move. The pure fear of failure, the possibility of Karl smiling sweetly at him while rejecting his love, killed any liquid courage he could build up from the alcohol. No matter how open Karl’s stare was as the song dwindled down, and the energy he felt trembling between them in the moment, Sapnap’s mouth stayed sealed with his panic. The clapping around them broke the ambiance that had been building throughout the song, and Sapnap shook his head before he let his arms drop from Karl’s waist. 

“Another one!” Karl didn’t seem ready to let their connection die, hand catching Sapnap’s and tugging him closer. “That was so much fun, we should dance again.” 

“How about we get you some water?” Sapnap suggested, knowing Karl had been dancing for way too long without any replenishment. 

“Ugh, lame.” But when Karl linked their fingers together, Sapnap knew he won the debate. “I want some chicken.” 

“Now you’re just being greedy.” 

Sapnap didn’t care about Karl’s request, happy he managed to get the man off the stage without him falling from the stairs. The moonshine made sure to remind them of its presence when Karl stumbled a bit in their walk off the dancefloor, proving he was only coordinated when he had a partner to lead the way. Making sure Karl didn’t bump into anyone on their search for food, Sapnap redirected them when catching sight of Mackenzie and their friends in the corner of the barn. 

“Kenzie.” At the call of her name, Mackenzie looked up from her conversation, smiling through her head shake at Sapnap and Karl’s approach. “You know where we can get Karl some food? And a huge ass bottle of water.” 

Before she could answer, Jack caught Sapnap’s attention with a wave that had a buzzed sway. “Aw, is Karl done for the night? If I knew you were going to put him out of commission, I wouldn’t have let you steal my dance partner.” 

“Not my fault he likes me more than you,” Sapnap shot out, ignoring Mackenzie’s brow arch at the slight snap in his voice. The others in the group joined in with coos and chants of ‘burn’, though Jack only laughed at the accidental snark. 

“That’s just cause he ain’t seen how good I can be with my hips.” Jack’s ease with his flirting was aimed at Karl when his boyish grin tilted his way. Sapnap tightened his grip between Karl’s fingers when Jack sauntered closer to his friend. “But I can show you, if you want.” 

“Huh?” Karl’s head turn proved that he hadn’t been looking at Jack at first, and Sapnap bit back his smirk when wondering if Sapnap’s comment had distracted the tipsy mind that normally managed multiple conversations at once.

But like the southern gentleman he was, Jack didn’t let the accidental snub change his warm smile. “At the bull-riding event tomorrow. You should come with me to cheer me on. And after I win, I’ll bring you to the fireworks for the end of the festival.” 

“I didn’t know there were fireworks,” Karl said, the excitement over the mentioned show brightening his expression. 

“They’re the best in the state. So, how about it? Watching me win the competition, then being my date for the fireworks?” 

Sapnap scowled at the offer, knowing Jack had been planning to ask Karl the moment he could. A peek over to Mackenzie’s sympathetic gaze before she shrugged proved he had probably told the group before Sapnap dragged them right into the lion’s den. 

Annoyed when Karl didn’t turn down the offer right away, Sapnap stepped closer to him. “Cept there’s a problem with your plan, Jack-off.” 

“Aw, come on. Don’t even say you’re having Karl work during the show, cause everyone goes to the fireworks.” 

Sapnap scoffed, letting his chest puff out when he spoke. “Nah, it ain’t got nothing to do with that. We’re gonna go to the fireworks, but since I’m gonna be the one to win the competition, Karl will be hanging out with me during it.” 

“Wait, what?” Karl’s whisper of shock at Sapnap tossing his hat into the ring was overshadowed by the eruption of cheers from their friends, some reaching over to punch his arm or shake his shoulders with their excitement of his ‘return’. 

The only one who wasn’t happy about the information was Mackenzie, who looked ready to smack him when she spoke. “I think you’ve had too much alcohol, Nick. Because only an idiot who hasn’t been practicing his riding would get in that ring tomorrow. Or someone with too much pride for his own good.” 

“Aw, don’t be like that, Keznie!” Sapnap wasn’t sure which friend had wrapped an arm around his shoulders, cheering him on. “Nick vs Jack? We ain’t had that since high school. Everyone’s gonna be excited to see him ride again!” 

“Ugh.” Not swayed by the drunk words, Mackenzie reached around them, snagging Karl’s wrist and pulling him from Sapnap. “I’m going to get this one some food and water, and then you’re taking him home. Go wait for us at your truck.” 

“Gotta love a strong woman who knows how to keep her man in line,” Jack teased with a laugh, and Sapnap caught Karl’s flinch. 

Before he could try to understand the vivid reaction, Mackenzie tugged him away from the group, Sapnap’s stomach turning. He wasn’t sure why the small motion bothered him so much, but Karl’s stiff posture after being so relaxed all night left an unpleasant taste in the back of his throat. No longer wanting to be around anyone, Sapnap shrugged off the arm before he stormed out of the barn. The cooler air of the Texan night only felt good compared to the heat from the overstuffed dance, and he was grateful they’d moved the truck to the impromptu parking lot between the barn and the actual festival. 

“Nick!” Before he could get to his truck, a shout of his name turned him, jaw clenching when Jack jogged over. “Hey, you good? You know I was just joking about Kenzie. If I crossed a line—”

“Nah, you’re fine.” Sapnap wasn’t the one bothered by the comment, knowing there was nothing between them. But Karl’s reaction had tugged at something at the back of his mind. 

“Cool, cause it’d be pretty weird if you were pissed when I asked you to be my wingman.” The request made Sapnap blink, brows furrowing when Jack gave a sheepish grin. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious that I’m into your friend. And I think Karl’s kind of interested in me, so if you could put in a good word for me, I’d totally owe you.” 

“That’s… not a good idea.” When Jack frowned, Sapnap shrugged. “I mean, Karl’s really busy with Mr. Beast stuff. Like, he does YouTube like me. And he’s leaving in a few days, so you can’t really start something serious with him.” 

“Eh, I’ve still gotta take my shot.”

“Why?” Sapnap’s hand twitched by his side, and he wondered when he started to tighten it into a fist. “Why Karl ?”

“Cause he’s funny and cool, man. Like, I get you’re not into guys, so it ain’t on your radar but…he’s really pretty.” Jack’s comment about his sexuality twisted the annoyance in his chest tighter, and Sapnap tried to ignore his clenched jaw when Jack continued. “I get you’re trying to be a good friend and keep him safe from creeps. That’s the kind of friend you are. Except you know me. I’d never do something he didn’t want, and I don’t just want some quickie. Long distance isn’t my favorite thing, but Karl seems worth it.”

“He is.” Because Sapnap had already given Karl his heart, so he knew just how ‘worth it’ his best friend was. 

“You’ve gotta admit it’s worth a try, right?” When Sapnap refused to answer, Jack’s lip twitched into a fleeting smirk. “Even if it doesn’t work out forever, I’ll kick myself if I don’t get a taste of that sweet giggle—”

“Shut up!” Losing control over his impulse, Sapnap shoved Jack back, sneering. “Back the fuck off Karl.” 

Stunned at the sudden outburst, Jack held his hands up, annoyance and worry making an interesting tone. “Hey, I’m not trying to start anything here. What’s the big deal? Does he have a boyfriend at home or something? Cause if he’s waiting for someone, I really didn’t know.”

Not at home, Sapnap thought, far too cruel to put into words while he stared his naive friend down. He’s not waiting for you, or some idiot back in North Carolina. The only one he’s waiting for is…

His eyes grew wide when his hands fell limp by his sides, unsure how to manage the punch of panic hitting his chest. Too many feelings collapsed onto him at once. Upset over the idea of projecting his deepest desire onto Karl without being brave enough to ask what he actually wanted. Angry at Jack for wanting the chance he couldn’t force himself to take. Scared over how much was going to change when he went back to Florida, and the haunting feeling of being an extra over a needed partner. Dread at the realization that he wanted to run again, but that he’d burned all of his bridges, and he had no more safe places to hide away. But the biggest feeling that tore through him was the hatred he had for himself and how much of a coward he had become without realizing it. 

“Sapnap?” The little tremble in Karl’s voice made Sapnap snap his hard glare from Jack, quick to turn when a warm body collapsed in his chest. He grunted when all of Karl’s weight settled into his arms, looking over the cuddling mess against him to find Mackenzie. 

“He’s really feeling the alcohol, now. Guess the dancing delayed some of the effects.” Then she glanced between him and Jack, quick to pick up on the tension. “What’s going on here?” 

“Ask him,” Jack said, hands shoved in his jeans while he shrugged. 

Not wanting to have another heavy-hitting conversation, Sapnap tugged Karl toward his truck. “Nothing. I have to get Karl home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Nick—”

Whatever Mackenzie wanted to say was lost when he opened the passenger side door, focusing his attention on getting Karl buckled in his seat. Karl batted at his hands while he giggled, and Sapnap wished the gentle touches could wash away the negative feelings that pooled in his stomach. But even when he started up the truck and pulled away from the fairgrounds, Sapnap couldn’t shake his conversation with Jack. If he wasn’t a jealous mess, he knew his friend wasn’t out of line. He had come to Sapnap for help, not to rub it in his face that he was going to… take Karl away. But the thought that there could be something there between them had Sapnap fighting back the urge to throw up. 

“Nick?” Karl’s head rolled on the headrest of the seat, the name sounding just as perfect as it had before. “The road’s upside down. Oh, wait, now it’s good. Wait, it’s spinning!”

Despite his horrible mood, Sapnap’s lips twitched. “It’s okay, I play Mario Kart. I can handle it.”

“Mmk.” Karl held his hand out, smacking against Sapnap’s shoulder. “Hold my hand?”

“Sure.” 

Because Sapnap was never going to turn down a request from Karl. The warmth of the touch had become second nature over the trip, and Sapnap thought his right hand would always feel a little colder when he went back to Florida. Karl didn’t know about any of the intrusive thoughts, humming with his pleasure over their linked fingers before tugging it to rest in his lap. Like magic, the small comfort he got from Sapnap’s touch seemed to be enough for him to snuggle into the seat, sleep claiming him a few minutes later. Sapnap was left alone with the quiet music of whatever playlist Karl had put on that morning and his own thoughts. Somehow, even with the little snore that slipped out from Karl’s slumber, Sapnap was dragged into his aura without a fight. Helpless to do anything but fall deeper into the pit he could never get out of.

Sapnap hated waking Karl up when he pulled up to the house. His mother and Josephine were still at the Barn Bash, which meant there was no witness when he slowly lifted Karl from his truck and managed to carry him down the steep step to the grass. Karl whined when being placed on his own feet, sleep and alcohol making him sway in his spot. 

Sapnap locked up the truck before he moved in front of Karl, opening his arms. “Koala?” 

“Yes, please.” Like it was his second home, Karl climbed into Sapnap’s embrace, barely hopping up to wrap his legs around Sapnap’s waist again. Sapnap caught him with ease, closing his eyes when feeling Karl easily bury his face into the exposed side of his neck. When Karl had done the same hold at the lake, Sapnap had been too distracted with keeping him safe and the confusing jealousy to really experience it. By the time his heart and head connected, they were already back in the water, and Sapnap shelved it as just another pleasant memory with his best friend.

Now, he wondered if Karl could feel his heart trying to beat out of his chest. The close hug felt different, but he knew he was the only one who would notice. Karl settled into the koala hold like it was an old friend, loose limbs and warm breath leaving goosebumps down Sapnap’s nape. As he carried Karl over the threshold of his childhood home, it meant something more. The wooden floorboards creaked their greeting while he kicked off his shoes and walked silently toward the stairs. Shadows played tag along the walls of the darkened room as he climbed, Sapnap tightening his hold when Karl mumbled something against his shirt. His hallway let the moon from the lone window create a light to Karl’s room, as if he was always meant to carry the exhausted love of his life down the fated path. Like this really was their home to live in, to love in, forever. 

Karl tried to bury deeper into Sapnap’s throat when Sapnap bent down to put him back on his feet, seeming far too content in the embrace to leave. “Karl, come on.” 

“No.” Stubborn no matter if he was sober or drunk, Karl tightened his hold. “You’re warm. Let me sleep here.” 

“Sure,” Sapnap answered, knowing he was lying. “But let's get you in your pjs first, okay?” 

“Mmk.” 

It was easier to get Karl to listen after getting him to sit on the bed. Sapnap tried to ignore his own warm cheeks when Karl didn’t hesitate to lose his shirt and pants, leaving himself in far too small boxer briefs and socks that went over his ankles. Anyone else would have looked stupid, drunk and half-naked on the guest bed, hair a complete mess from the weird way he’d slept on the way back. But Karl made Sapnap’s lungs freeze, and he rushed to tug the fuzzy sleepwear over his alluring skin before his body forgot what their original plan was. Karl’s yawning and half-open eyes proved he wouldn’t fight when Sapnap urged him under the covers. 

A gentle touch on his wrist stopped Sapnap from slipping from the room, Karl’s pout tugging at his heart. “Don’t go.” 

“I’ve gotta get to bed, too,” Sapnap answered, though it only took a weak tug to pull Sapnap to lay beside Karl in the small bed. The cowboy hat fell to the floor behind him when he plopped his head onto the pillow next to Karl’s, feeling the warm breath against his cheeks from their proximity. He laid over the blanket, knowing he couldn’t stay there all night. Even with the barrier between them, and the knowledge that they’d cuddled several times before, Sapnap’s butterflies refused to calm down when Karl snuggled into his chest. 

“Tonight was fun.” 

“I guess.” Needing to calm himself down, Sapnap moved his hand up to scratch his fingernails along Karl’s scalp, letting the hair tickle his palm. 

Karl hummed into the touch, eyes already falling shut from his tipsey sleepiness. “I love when you do this.” 

“Cause you like being pampered,” Sapnap mumbled, though he felt the slight shake of Karl’s head against his touch.

“Because you’re my favorite.” The admission made Sapnap’s mouth dry out from shock, but Karl barreled forward to a new thought. “Oh. We’re alone.”

Trying to follow the random train of thought, Sapnap nodded. “We are.”

“So I can say it.” 

“Say what?” Sapnap asked, leaning forward to press their foreheads together.

As he finally gave into his dreamland, Karl whispered one more truth. “Love you, Nicholas.” 

Sapnap didn’t need to respond, Karl already asleep. It didn’t make the pain stinging the corner of his eyes any less shameful. Closing them to ignore the tears he had inflicted on himself, Sapnap pressed against Karl’s forehead more, wanting to transmit every emotion he couldn’t get past his cowardly lips into Karl’s perfect mind. Even if Karl didn’t mean it more than a platonic declaration, the same way he said it to Foolish or Nolan, Sapnap’s reply died in his throat. Because the ‘me too’ that wanted to burst out had a different connotation. It held the weight of his heart in its letters, ready to never return to the sender. 

He waited until he was sure Karl wouldn’t wake up before he moved. Getting off the bed only hit a snare when he realized that Karl had grabbed his hand again when they had laid together. His eyes stared down at the connection between them before looking back to the relaxed face pressed into his guest bed. If he was a little braver, willing to take the risk, he wouldn’t have to leave at all. He could climb under the sheets, pull Karl into his embrace, and never let go. Instead, while he cowered in the corner, hiding from feelings Mackenzie, his mother, and Pa all knew were real, Karl would find someone else to koala carry him. To barter with him into his pjs, to watch him fall asleep and drool into his pillow. To love him the way Sapnap couldn’t. 

Wincing, Sapnap let go of Karl’s hand, moving to the doorway of the room. He only paused once out, looking once more at the sleeping man curled just outside of his touch.

I’m gonna lose this. 

And he had nobody to blame but himself. 

Chapter Text

Sapnap wanted to say that Karl’s lips mumbling his love for him hadn’t kept him up all night, but he knew it was a lie. No matter how many times he tried to forget how it sounded, the sleepy look on his face, and the warmth of his touch, nothing escaped Sapnap’s mind. He had always felt he wasn’t good at remembering things in detail, but the night before proved him wrong. No matter how many times he had tossed and turned through the early morning hours, nothing would shake the film replaying in his mind. The day before hadn’t settled right in his heart, extreme highs and dark lows leaving him unable to catch his breath. 

By the time the morning poked its head through the window, Sapnap’s chest felt empty. An unknown force had scooped a part of him out from his ribs. His bones ached without reason, but Sapnap couldn’t find the answer of the loss in the ceiling of his childhood bedroom. With aching eyes and heavier limbs, Sapnap gritted his teeth and pushed out of his bed, forcing himself into clothes for the final day of the festival. By the time he fumbled down the stairs, fatigue hung like a winter coat on his back, his scowl growing when noticing Karl’s seat was empty.

“Good morning,” his mother said, placing a plate of eggs and toast in front of Josephine. With an ease only a mother could carry, she plucked Josephine’s cell phone from her hands, the warning look saying more than any words could. After slipping the device into her pocket, she turned back to Sapnap and smiled. “I’ve got some breakfast for you and Karl packed up if you want to eat it on the go. From what I heard last night, you’re going to need all the nutrients you can get.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sapnap asked, the lack of sleep making his gaze a little sharper when Josephine scoffed. 

“Everyone knows you’re planning on riding in the bull event today.” Despite her eye roll, Josephine finished swallowing her mouthful of food and wiggled her fork his way. “Except some people are saying you’re full of hot air.” 

“Honey, are you seriously signing up to participate?” 

At his mother’s question, Sapnap shrugged, dragging himself to the kitchen island to scoop the meal onto the empty dish. “Yeah, I guess. If I said I was gonna, then I’m not backing out.” 

“Nobody’s going to hold you to it if you end up not entering,” was the soft reply, but her kindness only rubbed his nerves raw. 

“You don’t think I can do it?” 

“They don’t have bulls in Florida,” Josephine said with a bluntness that only a child would use. “Everyone thinks you’re going to break something if you do it.”

“Who’s everyone?” He asked, bitterness licking the back of his throat at the thought of others speaking about him. 

“Just people on the Maybell Twitter. The festival has its own page. It’s got about twenty thousand followers.” 

“Fantastic.” Because Sapnap needed another negative trend with his name attached to it. Praying most of the people would use his actual name over his Youtube signature, Sapnap huffed out his irritation and dropped into his chair. The plate clattered on the table with more force than he planned, and he pressed his shoulders closer to his ears when his mother sent him an arched eyebrow. 

“Well, if you’re going to be reckless, it's a good thing your mother is always one step ahead of you.” She didn’t explain herself, but her disappearance from the kitchen proved she had something up her sleeve. Sapnap groaned at the thought, forcing himself to shovel the breakfast into a mouth that didn’t want to eat. His stomach twisted with his uneasiness, doubting the plate of delicious smelling food would ease it. 

“Where’s Karl?” 

At Josephine’s question, Sapnap tried to ignore the hint of bitterness to his next bite. “I’m not his keeper.” 

“Uh, you kind of are,” she answered, arching her brow. “Twitter thinks so, anyway.”

“Do you live online or something?” Sapnap asked, narrowing his eyes. “You sound like a toxic user.” 

“Just because you’re all huffy about Jack and Karl—”

Before he could ask her where she’d gotten the bite of gossip, his mother popped back into the kitchen. “I found it! Good thing I put your riding jacket in a cover, or else it’d be too dusty to wear today.” 

“You still have that? Why?”

“You mom’s sentimental,” she said, draping the jean jacket over his shoulders. “That thing is going to throw you off very fast, and I don’t want my baby boy getting a rash for his pride.”

“Does nobody believe in me?!” Too worked up in his irritation and hurt, Sapnap pushed out of his seat, catching the jacket before it fell off from his jerky motion. “Whatever, I don’t care. Just send Karl out to my truck when he’s done with breakfast.” 

“Maybe he should drive with us if you’re going to be rude…” 

Sapnap ignored Josephine’s grumble when he stormed out of the house, tension tightening through his back. He tried to focus his anger toward the truck, trying to pull out the useless stuff from the back of his cab. Sapnap didn’t care if dirt covered the junk when he tossed it to the grass in the front yard. When was the last time he even looked at this stuff, high school? Why did he care if things spilled out or broke while gutting his truck? If he was being honest with himself (the bitter inner voice asking when he’d ever done that mocked him), the whole cleaning was just a distraction from the truth. 

He only lifted his glare when a familiar clearing of a throat came from behind him. “You cleaning it out for little old me?” 

“Something like that,” Sapnap said, spinning around to face him. “It's the last day of the festival, so I bet you’re gonna want to buy a bunch of random stuff. Day three is the biggest one for the trades stalls.” 

“Just for the entrepreneurs?” Karl’s tone stayed light, but the nervous glance to his side made the hair on Sapnap’s hair on the back of his neck stand up. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Karl chewed his lower lip, fingers tangled at the bottom of his sweater. Years of being friends with him pulled Sapnap’s knowledge to the front of his mind; Karl was nervous. Nervous around him . “What’s going on?” 

“Some people I’ve talked to said the bull riding event is pretty serious.”

“Yeah, thing’s kind of important.” Not wanting to know who he’d spoken to in order to get the information, Sapnap looked away, wrapping up the loose rope he’d stored in the back of his truck. “Some of the riders come from other states to participate.”  

“Is it true they film it? And place bets on who’s going to win and who’s going to get thrown off?”

“I guess so.” Sapnap fixed his cowboy hat when it tilted after bending down, piling his random junk into a neater pile. “I never got into that betting stuff, but they have a whole medical unit on standby for the show.”

“You didn’t tell me any of that,” Karl said, his softer tone only fanning Sapnap’s irritation when he scoffed.

“It’s not a big deal. I’ve only had to use it a few times, and that was when I was first starting out.” 

“Would it be crazy to ask you not to do the bull-riding today?”

“What?” Jerking back, Sapnap’s eyes widened when he stared at Karl in shock. “Why?”

“I thought that’d be kind of obvious,” Karl answered, stepping closer despite the painful words shooting like daggers into Sapnap’s ego. “I don’t want to see you hurt.” 

“Wow. Glad to see everyone’s on the same page about this. Group disbelief for the fucking win, I guess.” 

“Sapnap, I’m always the first person to root for you, but this—” 

Before Karl could try to soften his betrayal with gentle words, Sapnap slammed the back door shut. “Why would you? Apparently, your new boyfriend’s going to wipe the floor with me.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I ain’t stupid.” Crossing his arms on the truck, Sapnap refused to look back at Karl when leaning his head on his wrists. “Jack’s everyone’s pick to win. And since you two were getting so cozy last night, you don’t gotta worry about my feelings. Why don’t you go real traditional and offer to wear his hat while he rides. You know, make it known to everyone you fancy him.” 

Sapnap flinched when he heard Karl shuffle closer, a caring touch caressing his shoulder. “You know if you’re riding, I’m going to cheer for you. You’re my favorite person—” 

“I don’t need your pity.” Shrugging off the touch, Sapnap jerked away, keeping a wall of distance he never had before between them. “I don’t need anything from anyone, especially you!” 

He regretted the words as soon as they slipped through his mouth. Karl’s eyes widened with his shock, and Sapnap wanted to eat the tongue that had let the shimmer of hurt taint the gray-blue gaze now staring at him. The desperate need to keep his emotions from the week hidden had finally turned toxic, sharp and willing to tear apart anyone that wandered in its path. Karl, being his compassionate self, simply stepped into the destruction. Panic clenched in his stomach when the truth of the moment slammed into him. He’d done the one thing he had been scared of since Mackenzie questioned him at the lake; Sapnap rejected Karl. 

“Wait, Karl… I—” 

“Then maybe I should go home.” Karl’s smile lacked any joy when he forced it over his shaky lips, arms wrapping around his chest like a shield. “I mean, you really don’t need me there. You’ll be busy with the bull riding and Mackenzie, so— I’ve just been in your way this whole time.”

“That’s not true,” Sapnap replied quickly, but the flame he’d started blazed like wildfire between them.

As if the heat of the invisible inferno burned him, Karl stepped back and laughed. “No, it’s fine. You should spend time with your family and friends here. I can call Jimmy right now and get a flight.”

“But… no.” Throat dry, Sapnap shook his head. “You’re not supposed to leave until Wednesday.” 

“I don’t—” Tears lined Karl’s eyes and voice when he fished his phone from his pocket, and Sapnap’s stomach ached from the agony he caused. “I don’t want to be somewhere I’m not wanted, Nick. Not unless I have a reason to stay.”

Sapnap knew he only had a moment to clear up the misconception. To lay everything he had held back on the ground, and pray that Karl wouldn’t let his recent lapse of judgment ruin whatever they had. From how Karl’s gaze pleaded with him, he knew he wasn’t the only one that wanted something to break the tension. The paler hand shook, as if resisting pressing on the screen to follow through with his unwanted threat. Karl didn’t need to leave. Sapnap didn’t want him to go, either, and he had the power to stop him from setting the terrible plan in motion. But like every time before, Sapnap’s throat closed up, the whisper of his previous insecurity sewing his words to the back of his mouth. He couldn’t break through the toxic threads, leaving him helpless while watching Karl’s heart break in his gaze.

It was pathetic that Josephine saved Sapnap from his own disaster. “Karl! Can you come help curl my hair?” 

“Um.” Quickly, the phone disappeared back into his pocket, Karl swiping his palm on either side of his eyes before turning away from Sapnap. “Course I can! Be right in!” 

“Karl—”

“I have to help Josie.” Without telling him his plans after the request, Karl ran away, leaving Sapnap to wallow in his own pity party. 

“Fuck.” Rage swept over him like a hurricane, his eyes darting around to find something to pour his unbridled emotions into. The bat gleaming in the sunlight set his feet into motion, snagging the handle before storming to the back of the house. His thoughts ricocheted in his head while he picked up a rock from the edge of the grass, tossing it into the air before slamming the bat against it. A high shriek from the metal chased after the pebble shooting through the sky, but he barely watched it before searching for another stone to smash. Fingernails dug into the soil, Sapnap uncaring of the prickles of pain under his nails when they scraped along the unforgiving ground. He ignored the bite, blaming the burn in the edge of his eyes on the spray of dust from each hit.

“Oh, wow. I haven’t seen you this angry since you were a teenager.” 

“Mom.” Sapnap tried to keep his voice flat when he glared out at the yard, knowing the creek behind him had come from the back porch swing. 

Gentle patting against the cushion didn’t fit his darkened mood. “Come here, Lightning Bug.” 

“Why?” 

“Nicholas.” Her tone didn’t raise, but just the edge of his full name had enough pull to make him sigh and drop the bat. Shoving his hands into his pockets, Sapnap dragged his boots through the dirt when climbing up onto the back porch, flopping into the empty space on the swing. “Thanks for joining me.” 

“Not like I had a choice,” he answered, speaking toward his lap. 

Manicured nails wrapped around his shoulder, squeezing the bicep under the jacket. “Josie was a little scared when she heard you and Karl arguing. Cept you were the only one yelling.”

“No wonder she tried to save him.”

“Maybe more than just him,” she said, and he didn’t need to look at the green stare to feel her intention. “You bottling up your emotions again?”

“Thought I was getting better at it, but being here— ugh.” Sapnap slumped back into the swing, rocking them quietly while leaning into her. “I didn’t even realize what was happening until I almost knocked Jack out at the dance.” 

His mother hummed, rubbing his arm despite the smile in her tone. “Mackenzie mentioned he was showing some interest in Karl. And that maybe you weren’t so keen about it.”

“Like I have a fucking right to say anything.” Groaning, he bent over to press his elbows to his knees, palms covering his eyes. “Why am I pissed that Jack’s smitten with Karl? He’s amazing. I think anyone who doesn’t want to date him is an idiot.”

“Even you?” She asked, his hat lifting off his head before she pressed her temple against his. “Would my bull-headed son be one of those idiots that doesn’t want to date that wonderful man?”

“Mom…” But it was the only answer he could mutter, throat too weak from his cowardice to defend his beating heart. 

“No, that’s not it.” Loving despite his terrible mood, she only softened her voice. “You’re quite smart. Too smart to let Karl slip away from you like this.” 

“I’m fucking stupid.” Ashamed of himself, Sapnap buried his face into the safety of her neck, knowing he wouldn’t be able to speak without the familiar warmth of her hug. “So stupid for falling in love with him.” 

“My poor boy.” Her hand rubbed down his back, and he squeezed his eyes shut to ignore how little he felt. For a moment, he wished he was still young, able to curl up into her lap and hide from the fears he didn’t feel big enough to face. “Love is a beautiful thing, sweetie. Why would you think loving Karl is stupid?” 

“Because I’m scared he’ll turn me down.” Admitting it to his mother was the release that never came when rolling the thought over in his mind. Emboldened, the words poured from his bitten lips. “Even if… if for some reason, he loves me, we’re so busy. Our lives aren’t simple like here. We live in different states, I’m too possessive, and he spreads himself too thin trying to make everyone else happy. Nothing is working for us anymore. It’s bound to just… fail.”

The long pause after his confession wasn’t daunting, Sapnap knowing his mother could take time to think over her response when it mattered. “So fail.”

“What?” He almost jerked back at her blunt answer, but the hand cupping his head didn’t let him go far.

“Fail.” She didn’t back down, confident in her words. “Burn and crash to the ground like you are right now. But then figure out why it’s failing, so you can work on it .”

“That sounds toxic. I don’t want to hurt him with my feelings,” Sapnap said, feeling her curls hitting his cheek when she shook her head.

“But that’s bound to happen, especially in love, because the people in your life that are only around for your wins aren’t worth your time. And definitely not worthy of your affection. And listen to me when I say this.” His mother’s gentle guidance pulled his face out of its hiding spot, her eyes loving and warm despite the conversation. “This isn’t just about romantic love, either. If Karl’s the sweet boy I think he is, he’s going to adore you no matter what version of you he gets. If Dream and George see you as their family, they’ll listen to your fears about change and hold your hand through it. I won’t stop kissing your forehead and making your favorite dinners if you bring home a handsome boy over a beautiful girl. Love that matters doesn’t break the first time a stone gets thrown at it.” 

“I…” Shuddering, Sapnap finally lifted his arms, wrapping them around his mother to pull her into a hug. “Sorry, I knew you wouldn’t care I liked… I didn’t mean to hide it from everyone.” 

“Well, it wasn’t like you did it that well. It was hard to miss your sudden interest in the Men’s fitness magazine we always got in the mail.” 

“ M-Mom !” 

Laughing, she leaned back to tap the tip of his nose. “Teenagers are never as sly as they think they are.” 

“God, this ain’t the conversation I wanna have with my mother,” he replied, hating how red he knew his face had become over the topic. 

“Well, then how about this?” Slipping from his hold, his mother stood up, brushing off her clothes. “I’ll go work my mom magic and make sure your sweetheart comes with us to the festival. But it’s up to you to find the right moment to tell him what he’s been waiting for you to say.” 

“I tried earlier, but my… throat just closed up.” 

“Yup, fear will do that to the best of us.” Ruffling his hair, she grabbed the hat she’d discarded earlier to place it back on his head. “If you fail, fail. But don’t fail because you never tried. The son I raised faces any challenge head on, and takes his bruises with a grin.”

“Just make sure to keep my room open for the next year for me to die in when he laughs in my face and goes back to North Carolina,” Sapnap muttered, Grace only shaking her head before she moved toward the door of the house. 

“We’ll meet you out front once Josie’s hair is done. Don’t brood back here too long.” 

He waved her off, leaning against the back of the swing when the door clicked shut. His head rolled onto the top of the cushion, closing his eyes to avoid the sun burning them. Though he’d have to face Karl and the unspoken tension between them, Sapnap knew there was something else his mother had brought up that stuck in the back of his brain. He already smoothed over the small bump from his past with his mother, but there was another home that needed his attention. While he loved Texas, and wouldn’t mind coming back if his next conversation went sour, two people on the other side of the country persuaded his hand to pull out his phone. 

It barely finished its first ring before Dream’s voice curled around his ear. “Nick?” 

“It’s me,” he mumbled, the smile hooking the edge of his lips from his friend’s genuine joy.

“Hey! How’s Texas going? George, Nick’s checking in.” 

“Oh, look what Patches dragged in.” The hint of the fading British accent still held too much smugness. “He actually remembers us side characters.”

“Fuck you, I’m only calling for Dream.” He laughed when George scoffed, a fondness blooming in his chest from the wisps of home. “Sorry for ghosting you two. Karl says hi, by the way.” 

“Tell him hello, and we miss him, too.” Dream paused after his reply, like he did whenever he was trying to evaluate a new situation. “It’s pretty early in the morning over there. Any reason you decided to call now? I mean, we don’t mind, but you’re gonna be home in a few days.”

“Home…” Slowly, he pressed his free hand over his eyes, taking a shaky breath to try and slow his growing heartbeat. “Kinda scared to still call it that.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The bite of George’s question felt like an accusation, always the first one to get defensive when he was upset. 

“Look, I’m…” His throat tried to close up again, but Sapnap didn’t give it time to fully stop his voice from coming through. “I always knew you two were different. It’s not like I wanted you to never get together, but I’ve kind of dreaded this day. When you were both … figuring stuff out, I still had times where it wasn’t all about ‘DNF’. I got George for trips around America, and football was my time to hang out with you, Dream. But the first opportunity after you two hooked up, George chose you over our normal flow of things. And I’m… guess I’m nervous my place in both of your lives isn’t gonna be the same when I get home.” 

“Nick…” Dream’s tone held no fight, a plea more than an attack. “Can we switch to video? I think we need to talk about this face to face.”

“I guess.” Sapnap still took almost a minute to follow the request, pushing into the shade of the swing’s overhang before switching his camera on. 

Dream’s smile was squished against George’s scowl, the two a complete contrast despite how well they fit together. “There you are. It’s nice seeing you.” 

“Nice hat,” George said, Sapnap flipping him off before glancing lower on the camera.

“Nice hickey .”

“Jealous?”

“I don’t need my brother sucking my dick. You’re the one into step-bros.” 

“Boys.” Dream’s eye-roll felt too normal despite the tension lingering through the phone. George glanced at his boyfriend, and Sapnap watched how easily it was for them to speak without words. Nerves rolled down his spine, wishing he hadn’t turned on the camera, before George groaned and snapped his gaze back to Sapnap.

“Dream cried three days ago because you hadn’t called us. He was scared you weren’t going to come home.”

“George!” Despite the glare on the screen, Sapnap caught the pink of Dream’s cheeks. “Well, you made us sleep in his bed last night because you missed him.” 

“What the hell?” Sapnap wrinkled his nose. “Please tell me you changed the sheets.”

“We showered everything off first.” Before he could ask what that meant, Dream’s eyes rounded, too honest for his own good. “We miss you, and there’s nothing that will stop us from being the Dream Team. No matter what George and I have, you’re my best friend. ‘1-2-3’ will always mean something to me. I love you like a brother, like a soulmate . You’re always going to have a place in my life.” 

“Why did we start talking about feelings—” George flinched when Dream sniffled at the start of his tears, but Sapnap watched how his face softened when watching his emotional boyfriend before he shrugged. “When I was… not happy in England, you didn’t hesitate to fly over and be with me. The others were a nice surprise, but you went through hell and back to be there. I don’t really know of another time someone did something like that without expecting me to repay it. You… saved me, I guess. So I don’t get why you think I’d replace you, Stinknap.” 

“You bitch,” Sapnap said through his own hint of tears, nothing compared to Dream’s wobbly smile. 

“Oh my God. You guys are gross.” George kept them grounded with an eye-roll. “We lived apart for several years, it’s been a week. Stop this.”

“I’m gonna hug the shit out of you when I get back.” When George only scoffed and glanced away, Sapnap laughed away his sentiments and cleared his throat. “Okay, guess we’ll be together forever. Since George begged for it and all.”

“Until you run off to North Carolina and marry Karl.” 

Sapnap groaned at George’s taunt, Dream scrunching his brows. “Oh, that sounds bad.”

“How did you mess this up?”

“I didn’t!” Then, remembering he was trying to be honest, Sapnap amended his words. “Not completely. I’m working on it, I think.” 

“That’s a good thing,” Dream replied, always supportive in the bleakest of times. “You’re your biggest barrier, you always have been. If you’re taking it head-on, I know you’ll get it figured out before you come back.” 

George showed his support in his own way. “He better fix this; I’ve got money with Punz that they’ll start dating before he comes back to Florida.” 

“Seriously?” 

“What he means,” Dream cut in, quick to shove George out of the camera. “Is that we’re both rooting for you. Just keep us updated, okay? Don’t leave us in the dark, anymore.” 

“Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow. If my plan works, I’ll have my answer by then.” 

After they shared a quick goodbye, Sapnap hung up the phone, blowing out a long breath before falling back in the swing. Letting it rock him, he pressed his screen to the brim of his hat, closing his eyes. He knew, even if things blew up in his face today, not everything was lost. He had Texas, with his family and fond memories. Florida had a welcome mat rolled out, an ugly house with his best friends that would always support him. Sapnap didn’t have to worry about being alone. But maybe he was greedy, because he still wanted Karl. 

He just had to figure out how to make their ‘moment’ big enough for Karl to want him back.

~**~

Karl knew that green eyes and brunette curls would always be his weakness, and the rule hadn’t changed with Grace and Josephine. His plan to feign illness or an injury to not go to the festival slinked to the back of his mind when both women wrapped arms around him, electing him to keep them company while Sapnap ‘played with angry cows’. Their desire to show him the hand-made necklaces and scarves at the festival meant he was never alone with Sapnap, which helped keep his emotions from the morning rejection down. Sometimes, when Karl would peek over Josephine’s head or Grace’s shoulder, he caught an unreadable gaze watching him. He wanted to make a joke or compliment his friend to earn a smile on the quiet lips, but he couldn’t find his voice. Like a ghost lurking in a lonesome mansion, angry words haunted his broken heart.

“I don’t need your pity.”  

“I don’t need anything from anyone.

“ Especially you!” 

“Karl?” Josephine’s call of his name made him blink back into the current moment, beaming a fake joy down at one of his favorite people.

“Whoops, sorry! Head went off on a little field trip. What can I do for you, Josie?” 

“Mama wants to go bring some of our stuff back to the car before the bull ride event. Did you want to come? My idiot brother already left, so we didn’t want to leave you on your own.”

“Oh, I—” Before he could agree, he paused, then shook his head. “Actually, I want to go check on Lightning Bug. We can catch up at the firework show, okay?”

“Okay!” With a quick hug, Josephine scurried off, waving with both hands before she disappeared in the sea of plaid and boots. 

Karl only kept his smile up until she was out of sight, his shoulders dragging down in sync with his lips. Fighting back his sigh, he weaved through the people he’d grown accustomed to over the days spent under the Texan sun. Though he was simply a guest to the little town, the citizens never treated him as a stranger, some calling his name or waving while he made his way to Randall’s stall. The little glimpses of comfort from the welcoming feeling almost distracted him from Sapnap’s words.

But when he saw someone familiar petting Annabelle’s snout over the fence, Karl’s heart stuttered. “Mackenzie?” 

“Hey there.” Giving a friendly wave, she brushed her blond hair over her shoulder before leaning down to kiss between the cow’s eyes. “I wanted to give our sweet girl some loving, since I hadn’t seen her all month. What are you doing here?” 

“I bought a calf from Randall. Wanted to come see her.”

“Oh, you just missed Pa! He’s helping load up the last of the cattle to bring back to the farm. They get a little spooked with the fireworks, so it's better to do it now. Annabelle’s the last one they’re loading up, though if you wait a bit, I’m sure he’ll swing back around.”

“That’s okay, I can always check in with her there,” Karl answered, tongue running over his lower lip before he produced a shaky smile. “Thanks for helping me out last night. And saving me a dance. The whole night’s a little blurry, but I think I had a lot of fun.” 

“Yeah, moonshine from the boondocks will do that to you. I learned my lesson a time or two.” 

She laughed at a memory Karl wasn’t a part of, and he hated that his mind wondered if Sapnap had been there. Had Sapnap let her shower him with drunken affection, carried her into her bed like a southern gentleman? In the quiet night, would Sapnap have taken it a step further, kissed her forehead and whispered his love against her skin? The thought was another knick to his heart, but Karl added it to his unspoken battle wounds when Mackenzie rose back to her full height. 

“Hey, why don’t you accompany me to the bull-ride? You’re heading over there to see Nick make a fool of himself, right?”

“Of course! I don’t mind at all.” He did, knowing he planned to hide with his cow until the event was over. But explaining to Mackenzie why he didn’t want to go was too much for his heart, forcing himself to offer his arm instead. She laughed at his old school antics, but accepted the bicep by curling her hand around it. 

While they followed most of the crowd toward the back of the festival grounds, Mackenzie tilted her head up toward Karl. “You sure have made yourself quite the name in our sleepy little town, Karl.”

“I tend to leave my stamp wherever I go. It’s my brand,” he answered, smiling at her laugh and rolling eyes. 

“On some more than others, for sure.” When he only hummed in reply, she leaned closer  and lowered her voice. “Jack certainly hasn’t been shy about wanting to date you.” 

Her blunt approach to the topic earned his first flush of the day, using his free hand to wave away her interest. “Well, call me flattered. Jackson is quite attractive, and everyone’s been telling me he’s gonna win tonight. He seems like a catch.”

“I mean, I watched him eat a bug for two dollars when we were six, so I don’t really see it. But if you talk to some of the other folk round here, they’d be willing to do a lot to be in your boots.” 

  “Then why hasn’t he found someone to settle down with?” 

“Guess he’s looking for the same thing all of us are; true love.” Her words and steady gaze on his made Karl slow his gait, unsure how to handle the unspoken emotion in her eyes. “I’ve been with these idiots my whole life; they’re dumb, but they’re pretty easy to read when they’re got a crush or they’re down bad. Jack likes you, and I think you could make him really happy. But I have woman's intuition, too. And that’s telling me there’s someone else who’s got a hold on your pretty heart already.” 

He wanted to look away, knowing the truth would bleed into his all too honest eyes. Karl did his best work of hiding emotions with distractions and flashy effects that pulled the attention off the heart on his sleeve. But Mackenzie didn’t look like a woman who could be tempted with his illusions and magic tricks. She was a gentle calm before the hurricane, lulling Karl into a security that would keep him still while the water slowly filled his home.

“I’m not interested in dating Jackson,” he admitted, unsure if he could tackle her second inquiry without making things awkward between him. The last thing he wanted was to cause Sapnap more trouble by telling the girl he loved that Karl also wanted his heart. Burned at his own thoughts, Karl glanced away, staring at the lines starting outside of the bullpen. “But I think he wants me to go to the fireworks afterward, so I don’t mind keeping him company. You know, if you were worried I’d be hanging out with Sapnap or something. He might want you to hang out and… catch up on things you need to talk about.” 

“Oh boy. I was hoping you were the pretty and smart one, but you’re both idiots.” Running her hand through her hair, Mackenzie pulled them away from the line to a more secluded spot behind an empty stall. “We need to clear some things up. Mainly, whatever you think is happening between Nick and I.” 

“Mackenzie, th-that’s not my business—” He didn’t want to hear the words that already echoed from the night before, wincing when remembering her softer expression talking to Grace.

But Mackenzie didn’t let him save face, wagging a finger into his face. “No, it really is. Listen very carefully; Nick and I had a thing in high school. I loved him, I’ll always love him. But that love isn’t romantic.” 

“What?” Karl’s mouth dropped open, unable to process her clarification. “But… Everyone said you two were high school sweethearts.”

“We were. Were . It didn’t work out because of things that are not my place to say.” She looked like she wanted to spill more, but she took a slow breath and placed her hands on both of his shoulders, softening her cadence. “What I can tell you is that Nick hasn’t been chasing after me all week. Someone else has stolen a piece of his heart, he’s just too stupid to admit it. Then again, maybe the person who owns it is too blind to see what he’s holding…”

Then her hand on his left shoulder slipped down, a baby blue nail poking the fabric over his heart. She didn’t look away, as if the answer was written inside her irises. Karl stared, breath dancing just outside of his lungs while he tried to process her meaning. His first instinct was to laugh, because the moment felt like a morbid joke or dream. Like he would wake up from the fantasy that only came to him when he was too tired to block out his mind. Except the longer she stared at him, without flinching or pulling back her comment, the quicker Karl’s sardonic humor faded into shock. 

“Me?” Karl wasn’t sure his voice came through from how breathless it became. “You’re saying this whole time, it’s…me?” 

“Karl.” Collecting his shaking hands into her own, Mackenzie’s smile only held sympathy that made his heart lurch into his throat. “In all the time I pined for Nick, in the months that he was my boyfriend, before he realized I wasn’t what he wanted? He never looked at me the way he looks at you when you’re smiling. The only thing that comes close to it is the way you look at him .” 

“But he’s always looked at me that way,” Karl argued, unsure why he was fighting so hard against what he wanted.

Her lips quirked into a smile while squeezing her touch tighter. “I think that’s what we call soulmates, darling.” 

“I…” His lashes blinked faster, laughing through a smile he wasn’t sure he wanted to reveal. Not to Mackenzie, at least, though the man that held the answer to the emotions swirling in his chest was nowhere in sight. “He said he didn’t need me. Just this morning, he said—” 

“But does he want you?” Her eyes searched his face like he somehow held the answer to Sapnap’s heart. “And do you want him enough to not let his fear of what you have steal him from you?”

“I want him happy.” But before she could cut in, he let the walls built from insecurity and doubt crumble down. “And I want to be the person who brings him that happiness.”

“Then let’s tell him that.” 

She laughed like it was her own love confession, quick to pull him with both hands toward the bull-pen. With a confidence that would make Roman Emperors bow in her presence, Mackenzie led him through the crowds without feeling she had to wait in line. People didn’t try to stop her, the freckled red-head at the ticket booth only waving while she marched into the event. Karl felt like a celebrity when they hopped past ‘riders only’ signs, Mackenzie navigating the busy back area of the pen like the back of her hand. He took in the new sights and sounds, even the unpleasant smell of manure, before she was yanking them to the red metal bars separating the bull from the on-lookers. 

And there, behind Jackson, donned in the hat that made Karl’s cheeks flush, was Sapnap. 

“Hey, fellas!” Mackenzie called out, hands leaving Karl’s to curl onto the cool red metal. “Ready to get your boots knocked off?” 

“Have a little faith in us,” Jackson teased, eyes already glancing at Karl with a mirth that proved he was in his element. “But I’m all for the incentive you brought.”

Karl forced his eyes off Sapnap’s concentrated face (wishing his gaze would follow him instead of the bull tossing another man into the air) to send Jackson a smile. “Don’t let that thing kill you. I think half the town’s population would be heartbroken if you passed away single.” 

“I don’t know.” With a flirty grin, Jackson stepped close enough to prop his chin on the  rung closest to Karl’s face. “Might do a little better if I got a goodluck kiss.”    

“Well…” The corner of his eye caught Sapnap’s stiffened frame, his fist tightened despite his silence. He didn’t seem willing to step in between them, like he’d lost the right to claim Karl as his own. And though his heart softened at his friend’s attempt not to stand in his way for ‘love’, Karl wanted his jealous monster back. Reaching out, Karl tugged the hat over Jackson’s eyes, snickering at Jackson’s soft curse. “If you can’t win it without a buff, then you ain’t the best. People need to earn kisses.”

“You’re a minx, Karl Jacobs.” Jackson popped his hat back up before the bell went off, making him move toward the newly open gate. “My turn to ride. See you after my run.” 

Karl didn’t commit to the offer, but waved to him when he climbed up to where the bull was waiting. Mackenzie shouted her support for her friend before she tugged Karl closer, popping a kiss to the curve of his cheek. 

With a gentle tone, she whispered. “I’m going to the other side to yell at my friends who already did their run. Come over there after you give Nick something to fight for, okay?”  

“I will.” Silently, he thanked her with his eyes, knowing she caught his meaning when she winked and jogged away. The departure left him alone with Sapnap, Karl taking a slow breath before turning back to face the man who still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “So, you’re really going out there? I can’t get Jimmy to buy you a car instead of getting on the smelly beast?”

“I wanna do this, Karl.” Sapnap’s head finally lifted, staring into the ring where Jackson now jerked around on the angry animal. “After thinking about it all day, I know it’s gonna be ugly. Jack-Off’s gonna have the best run, I can already tell he’s got a good grip on the rope. It ain’t like you were wrong this morning; I know I’m not going to do anything but make a fool of myself.” 

“Yeah, but can he win SquidCraft and MCC?” Karl asked without missing a beat, giving a half-grin when finally earning Sapnap’s beautiful gaze. “Cause if he can’t, I’m not impressed.”

“Then I’m the only one who can earn your favor,” Sapnap replied, Karl aching from the missed banter between them. 

“Well, you are pretty cracked. Then again, Spreen thinks he can beat you—”

“That beanstalk wouldn’t last two seconds on a bull. Argentina can keep that furry out of my state.” 

“You still mad I let him mod for me?”

“That whole stream was bullshit. You know you just did it to annoy me!” 

Karl grinned and crossed his arms on the fence, dropping his chin down. “But you’re so handsome when you get jealous for me.” 

“Remember that when this bull leaves me black and blue.” Sapnap looked away, hand fussing with his cowboy hat. “Cause that’s why I’m getting on this stupid thing.” 

“Sapnap…” Karl flinched when he heard the warning bell go off, meaning it was time for Sapnap to take his turn. Sapnap sighed, starting to step away from the fence keeping them apart. Not wanting to let the moment go yet, Karl quickly scrambled to climb onto the metal rungs, grabbing the collar of the riding jacket to keep Sapnap from turning away. Yanking him closer, Karl didn’t let his insecurity stop him from pressing his lips against the scruff of Sapnap’s cheek, lingering longer than any platonic intimacy allowed. His stomach stung from the metal bar pressing into it, but he ignored it to share his affection with the only man he truly wanted to love. 

When Karl loosened his grip and pulled away, Sapnap’s mouth hung open. “...I thought kisses were only for people who earned it?”

“You already have, you nimrod,” Karl whispered, hoping the adoration for the man under him leaked out from his words. “ Only you, Nick.”

“Karl.” Staring at him like Karl answered the 7th world wonder, Sapnap snapped out of his stupor when someone called out his name from the ring. “Shit—look, if I’m lucky, I’m probably gonna fall off this thing in three seconds and make a fool of myself. So you better be waiting for me at the exit to give me something worth this trainwreck.”

Karl nodded, but Sapnap had already turned away, moving toward the bull being prepared for his ride. Though he wanted to watch, the fear of seeing Sapnap get hurt made Karl rush away, focusing on finding where Mackenzie and Jackson had ended up. Asking a few people he knew from the lake visit helped him ignore the cheers and groans from the crowd, knowing it was far too short to be anything good. But Sapnap didn’t seem to care about the run, just the prize afterwards. Breath catching over his emotions instead of his sprint, Karl managed to stumble to the exit of the arena the same moment Sapnap limped his way through the archway, dirtier and sheepish in the embarrassment of his attempt. 

But the smile when seeing him looked too hopeful for Karl to fight against their natural pull toward each other.

“Sapnap!” Karl rushed forward, hands running up the jean-clad arms while scanning Sapnap’s face for serious injury. “How bad was it? Wait, your mouth’s hurt. You better not have mess up this handsome face up because—”

But his joke never slipped out; dirty hands cupped his pristine cheeks, pulling him down to press a split lip against his own. Stunned, he almost inhaled mid-kiss, but the pleasant sensation rushing through his body helped him realign his mind and return the affection. Fingers grasped at Sapnap’s nape to keep him close, uncaring of the sweat and dust that caked the skin to deepen their connection. He leaned into the broad chest, needing to feel Sapnap in every way he could without breaking them apart. Days, months, maybe years of longing crashed into him like a wave, threatening to drown him without resistance. He’d take the sweet death if it meant never having to let go of the mouth trying to sear its mark against his. 

Breath demanded they part, Karl tightening his hold brushing Sapnap’s hair to keep them close. He took his time to open his eyes, only doing so when something soft dropped over his head. Lashes fluttering open, Karl caught Sapnap’s ruffled curls swaying in the summer breeze, the missing hat sitting over his own instead. 

“If we’re gonna do this right,” Sapnap mumbled, lip shy with his nervous smile. “Then wear this for me at the fireworks tonight.” 

“Of course,” Karl answered, cheeks warm and aching from how big he grinned while tugging the brim snuggly on his head.

“Well I’ll be damn.” Jackson’s laugh when both men jumped and looked over at him held no contempt, his arm relaxed when leaning on Mackenzie’s shoulder. “No wonder I was more confused than a blind dog in a meat house; Nick, why didn’t you tell me I was stepping on your boots?” 

“Because he didn’t realize it until last night,” Mackenzie answered for him, giggling while Sapnap blushed and scowled her way. “But Karl thought me and Nick were still a thing, so you weren’t the only confused boy in town. The video games must be eating up their brains.” 

“You two are annoying,” Sapnap said, tugging Karl by the waist to press them closer together. “But to make it clear, Jack-Off, he ain’t going with you to the fireworks.” 

“Well, even angels gotta have a flaw. Bad taste must be Karl’s.” The tease and Jackson’s taunting wink made Karl burst into laughter, tilting his head to lean into Sapnap’s without jostling his hat. Ignoring Sapnap’s middle finger, Jackson turned to Mackenzie, giving a dramatic bow. “How about it, Kenzie? Wanna help soothe my broken heart at the fireworks tonight?” 

“Only if you bring some beer, cause I’m not doing it sober.” Mackenzie tugged his ear, then walked away with a sway that would make a runway model take notes. “Bug boy.”

“We were six. Six!” 

Karl watched Jackson chase after Mackenzie, shaking his head before glancing back to Sapnap. “She’s amazing.” 

“More like terrifying.” Sapnap glanced up at him, contemplation crossing his face before he squeezed around Karl’s hips. “C’mon, let’s find my family and get ready for the show.”

Snuggling into the side of Sapnap’s chest, Karl couldn’t fight off his smile. “After you, handsome.”

It didn’t take long to find the others, who rushed them to the ‘perfect spot’ for the fireworks. Though Grace and Randall had sent curious glances at him when Sapnap tugged Karl’s legs onto his lap, neither said a word, choosing to listen to Josephine’s excited gasps when the fireworks started. Sapnap stayed a warm presence by Karl’s side throughout the show, hand resting on the bottom of his spine or his thigh while grumbling about the ‘two idiots’ who always ran the firework show each year. Though Karl giggled at the stories of them lighting the trees, land, or themselves on fire, his mind drifted to one thought that hadn’t fully been answered yet. Sapnap had implied they were doing ‘this’ but…

What was this, exactly? His mind tried to settle on different answers while the night crept further along. But even once the show was over and Sapnap chatted with his family on the way to the cars, Karl couldn’t feel satisfied with any of his options. They couldn’t just go back to friends, not with the way they kissed. But being boyfriends meant a lot of things would have to adjust in their personal and public lives. While it might have sounded good after the high of riding a bull and surviving, would Sapnap still feel as confident claiming Karl as his once the Texan dust settled? 

He barely waited until they were alone in Sapnap’s truck to let his word vomit out. “What are we?” 

“Huh?” Caught off guard but the burst of volume, Sapnap froze mid-key turn to glance Karl’s way. 

“Us.” Moving his finger between them, Karl tried not to show his insecurity when he rephrased his question. “Like, I’m happy we’re not mad at each other anymore, and the kiss was great! But I still don’t exactly get why we were fighting to begin with? And after this trip, when we go back to our real lives… what are we?” 

“We…” Sapnap glanced at the windshield, brows furrowed while his hands tightened on the wheel. “Should talk about it. But I want to shower and change before we do that. I kind of have a place I wanna take you to, away from my family and stuff. Plus, I smell like a bull and I don’t want this to be what you remember about tonight.”

“But after that…?” 

“I promise, we’ll talk. I’m not running away anymore.” Green eyes turned to him in the dim lighting from the radio. “It’s not worth the risk.” 

Sapnap’s steadiness in his voice sold Karl more than his words. Karl nodded before settling into his spot in the passenger seat he’d claimed as his own over the week. Though the rollercoaster of the weekend had made him a little wary, Karl’s adoration hooked on the gentleness of Sapnap’s touches during the fireworks. The anger that pierced Karl’s heart the morning before was smoothed over from their first kiss. But the wound could be reopened or infected if they let it fester the same way it had since his birthday. The fear of not having a clearer understanding of their new dynamic made him nod when Sapnap promised he’d be in and out of his house in fifteen minutes, Karl choosing to stay in his comfortable spot and catch up on missed sleep. 

“Karl.” The fondness in his name coaxed his heavy eyelids open, Karl fighting back a yawn to snap out of his nap. It took him a moment to realize the scenery change, familiar despite not being the house he’d called his own since touching down in Texas. 

“Are we… at your Pa’s?” 

“Yup.” Offering a hand, Sapnap helped Karl slip from his seat and into the grass of the field the truck was parked in. “Near the bar where I used to sleep when I was a teen.” 

“What are we doing out here?” Karl asked, the darkness of the night making it hard for him to see Sapnap’s expression when he shrugged. 

“I mean, it’s probably not the most romantic shit you’ve ever seen but…” 

With fingers linked between his own, Sapnap led him around the side of the vehicle. Karl bit back his surprise when the bed of the truck wasn’t empty like the day before, but filled with a mix of unmatched pillows and blankets. A cheap lantern, similar to the ones he’d bought at the dollar store when he was a child, provided the only artificial light for the display. But Karl didn’t mind the lack of modern comforts; being away from the city meant the stars provided their own clear glow in the sky. 

“This is so cute,” Karl said, squeaking when firm hands grabbed his hips before hoisting him up onto the flat tailend.

Sapnap was quick to follow after, both making their way to flop into the makeshift bedding on the truck. “I guess. I mean, I did what I could with the time limit I had. Nothing fancy, but—”

“It’s sweet.” Making his point known (or maybe to remind himself he could), Karl leaned across the plaid blanket and popped a gentle kiss over the mumbling lips. “And totally explains how you got girls to come out here with you when you were in high school.” 

“Shut up,” Sapnap replied, trying to tug off the hat Karl had refused to part with, even in sleep. 

Batting his hands away, Karl dove deeper into the pillows with a laugh, peeking up from his prone position with a grin. “So, you bring me out here to seduce me?” 

“Something like that.” Sapnap mirrored his position, both laying on their sides with only a few inches between their bodies. Though Karl wanted to snuggle closer, the serious look that crossed Sapnap’s face stopped him from moving. “Karl… I— fuck. I really like you.” 

“I like you too.” The answer slipped out like a gentle sigh, though Sapnap winced as if he’d shouted against his ear.

“Yeah, cept the difference is you don’t mess things up when you like someone.” 

“Well, considering I’m single af—”

“Karl.”

“Okay,” he said, leaving his humor in his back pocket when reaching out to collect Sapnap’s fingers between his own. “What do you mean?”

“I… I tend to get the romance part of relationships wrong.” Sapnap tugged on the Balenciago hat he’d retrieved from his house, taking a slow breath before forcing himself to continue. “Like, I put a lot of expectation on myself to be enough. Not to fail them, you know? And then my mind tells me about how I’ll let people down if I don’t remember anniversaries or choose a football game over date night. It just gets kind of loud in my head, then I just run away.” 

“That doesn’t sound pleasant.” When Sapnap didn’t reply, Karl chewed his lip before he gave his own insecurities away. “Mine just tells me you’re trying to rekindle your relationship with Mackenzie.” 

“What the hell?” Sapanp tightened his grip on Karl’s, snorting. “She was our biggest supporter. Well, her and my family. Wait, Dream and George, too.” 

“I think Foolish also thought there was stuff going on with us even before I came to Texas,” Karl added, hiding his smile with his free hand at Sapnap’s groan.

“So everyone knew I wanted you, but you. And I guess me. Ugh, George is never going to let me live this down. How did he figure it out? Bro thought Dream’s offer of marriage for a visa before Covid was ‘bros being bros’.” 

“Maybe we needed to be shoved into a rom-con scenario to see what everyone else did?” Though he wanted it to be a joke, Karl’s previous thoughts chased away his smile. “Which means when we go back home…”

“Nothing’s gonna change.” Karl tensed at the interruption, feeling his eyes widen in his panic. “Shit, hold on. We’re not going back to how things were before the trip! I meant that— this, right here? This isn’t going to change. I want to figure it out, like visits and video calls, so we can make it work.”  

“Meaning you want to be a couple.” The conclusion was enough to encourage Karl to erase the space between them, fingertips tracing the scratchy beard he couldn’t fully make out in the darkness. “You just want me to be your boyfriend cause then you can be jealous and possessive of me.”

“That’s not why, dumbass.” 

“Then why is it different now?” 

“Cause—” Sapnap tilted his head into Karl’s palm, lips hesitating against the smooth skin. “It’s cause I love you. I’m in love with you.” 

“Sapnap…” Blooming in his happiness, Karl rushed forward to steal another kiss, though the connection was ruined from his laughter and broad smile. Sapnap huffed at the misalignment of their mouths, but didn’t stop Karl’s kisses peppering his cheeks and nose, only slowing when he pressed their foreheads together. “I’m obviously in love with you too, silly. When I assumed you were falling for Mackenzie again, I thought I was gonna have to go home alone and cry my eyes out in Foolish’s big, muscley arms.” 

Sapnap narrowed his eyes on Karl’s innocent smile, grabbing his hip and squeezing hard enough to earn a squeak. “Fuck that himbo. He can snuggle with a Chipotle burrito.” 

“There’s my green-eyed monster.” Laughing when he only earned a pout in reply, Karl pushed him onto his back, crawling forward to lay over the warm chest underneath his lax body. “You really want to keep me for yourself?” 

“I think Pa would run me over with his truck and feed me to Annabelle if I let you go.” 

“Because they know I’m a catch.” 

Sapnap’s eyes fell half-mast at his tease, the low tone of his voice sending shivers down his spine. “That’s why I lassoed you, obviously. Can’t let others try to steal something special like you.” 

“Then I guess I should give my cowboy a prize for winning my heart.” 

Then Karl leaned down, pressing a slow kiss over the chapped lips. He hummed at the sound of Sapnap’s sigh, heated palms slipping under Karl’s shirt to skim the flushed skin of his back. A wave of need flexed Karl’s thighs around Sapnap’s hips, Karl parting his lips to swipe his tongue into the warm mouth under him. His own fingers shot into action, tugging the hem of the sleep shirt over Sapnap’s fuzzy stomach before pressing his palms just under his belly button. 

But when he noticed the tremble of the touch against his spine, Karl broke away from the deep kiss. “Sapnap?” 

“W-what?” The matching quiver in the response made Karl sigh, smiling when he slid a hand behind him to collect one of Sapnap’s. 

Pulling the linked fingers to rest over Sapnap’s heart, Karl felt the rapid heartbeat under the thin t-shirt. “Not to bring up an awkward situation mid make-out, but how far have you gone with a guy before?” 

“I— fuck.” Shoving out a groan, Sapnap closed his eyes and dropped his head. “I’ve never gone all the way with a guy. Like, I’ve messed around with handjobs. Got a blowjob once, but… not enough to know how everything works.”

“Babe, that’s fine. It’s not like I want to pop your gay cherry in the back of an uncomfortable truck.” Giggling despite Sapnap’s immediate grimace, he kissed the tip of Sapnap’s nose. “You’ve only kissed me, and I’m already feeling amazing. But just to be clear, your sex appeal isn’t even in my top twenty things I love about you. We can take our time. Work up to it. And if you don’t ever want to do this, I’m down to just watch anime and be in love until we’re old and still very gay for each other.” 

“Trust me, I want sex. Once I figure all this shit out, I’m going to rock your world,” Sapnap said, shaking off Karl’s hand to wrap both of his around the hips above him. “But we can still mess around—” 

The loud moo from the field paused the conversation, Karl’s lower lip trembling before he burst out into laughter. “Wa-was that…” 

“Fucking Annabelle.” Sapnap groaned and pushed into a sitting position, the movement plopping Karl into his lap. Linking his arms around Sapnap’s nap, Karl smiled while watching him turn his head to shout into the darkened pasteur. “Go eat some grass or something, you cranky old woman!” 

“At least she’s not shoving her nose in here and trying to break us up,” Karl replied after another moo, lips peppering Sapnap’s scowl with gentle pecks. “Guess that means I’ve got her approval.” 

“That’s cause the world loves you.” A firm thumb hooked under the waistband of his jeans, Sapnap tugging it with his unspoken intent. “Cept you’re mine, now. Everyone else can take a long hike off a short cliff.” 

Karl shivered at the touch, trying to arch into the fingers slowly inching toward the button keeping his happy trail hidden. “So romantic.” 

“Just your modern day Prince Charming.” 

But Sapnap’s voice lacked its normal strength, eyes squinting between them from concentrating on his progressive hands. Karl moaned softly when his zipped was tugged down, the cool air of the night following greedy fingers under his boxers. Half-hard a heartbeat before, Karl’s pulse skyrocketed with the blood rushing between his legs. He tried to part his thighs wider to accommodate the intrusion, thankful Sapnap only stroked once before leading his arousal out of the cramped space. 

“Me, too,” Karl breathed out, arching his weight lower on Sapnap’s thighs to mirror the actions. Grateful Sapnap had changed into sweatpants after his shower, Karl didn’t have to use any brain power to find the hot hardness he’d dreamed about since their toothbrush debacle. The hiss of pleasure brushed against his ear made Karl smirk against Sapnap’s cheek, nuzzling the scruffy spot while stroking over the sensitive skin. 

“Fuck.” Sapnap tried to arch up, but Karl’s weight kept him seated, Karl rocking down into the limp hand to gain its distracted attention again. 

His silent request worked, earning his gasp when a warm grasp matched the pace he set against Sapnap. Karl’s stomach cramped in pleasure, mouth opening to pant out his encouragement for firmer touches. He didn’t know the pace or grip that Sapnap liked yet, but the thought of getting to learn made his thumb rub the sensitive gland under the dripping head. Sapnap jolted like he was shocked, but the groan and increased strokes against his own pulsing skin enticed Karl to rub it again. Sweat collected against his neck when he turned his head, lips already seeking his for a kiss. Karl’s toes curled at the neediness commanding his attention and the palm smearing his pre-come down his sensitive flesh, wishing he could lose the jeans keeping his thighs hostage while they rocked together. His tongue buzzed pleasantly at the first thrust into Sapnap’s mouth, unsure which of them vibrated their connection with a groan. 

Heat spiraled between them while they moved, Karl finding a smooth rhythm against the hand stroking him. His mind didn’t need to focus on the practiced movement, tuning into his fingers gentle strokes over Sapnap’s cock. They kissed and stroked without shame under the Texan night, pushing each other deeper in the bliss of their intimacy. His thighs trembled from the tension growing in his stomach, Karl mouthing Sapnap’s name against bruised lips when his pleasure pushed to the edge of his limit. He almost pulled back from the messy kiss to warn of his orgasm, but the sudden grunt and shudder in his palm proved it wasn’t needed; Sapnap came beautifully under him, strained noises and whimpers earning Karl’s soothing coos for the vulnerable moment until his own climax whitened his mind.  

The stickiness of the neck his face was buried into was the first thing he noticed when coming back to himself. He was no longer sitting up, but laid out against Sapnap’s chest, who was propped up on his elbows while he heaved to catch his breath. Karl didn’t open his eyes, though wondered how long he’d been out of it when missing a familiar wetness against his stomach and hand. A nose was pressed into his damp curls, and Karl wondered at what point the cowboy hat had fallen off his head. 

“Wow.” 

At his dazed murmur, Sapnap snorted, shifting his thighs to better settle Karl’s ass into the thick muscles. “Good thing you didn’t join the competition today.” 

“Hmm?” Karl asked, half-asleep from the orgasm and the warmth of Sapnap’s breath fanning over his forehead. 

“You would have showed all of us how to ride a bucking bronco without breaking a sweat.”

Karl giggled at the terrible joke, snuggling into Sapnap’s chest to enjoy their afterglow. “You’re missing the bigger picture, here.”

“What?”

“We had sex, and Annabelle didn’t cockblock us. So that’s basically her blessing for us to get married, right?” Karl finally opened his eyes, glancing up at Sapnap to grin. “So, you gonna finally make me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen like a good little wife?”

“You’re the weirdest fucking—” Sapnap groaned and shook his head, Karl squealing when thick arms grabbed his waist before scooting them toward the tailend of the truck. “I’m too tired for your shit. We’re going to the barn and getting some real sleep, because I ain’t pulling a muscle sleeping out here.” 

“Sounds good to me, so long as I don’t have to walk,” Karl replied, yawning and dropping his head back onto Sapnap’s collarbone. 

“Yeah, yeah, you lazy koala. I’ve got you.” 

And though neither said it, ‘forever’ echoed in the sweet summer air of the little Texas town. 

Chapter Text

“Do you really have to go home?”

Sapnap rolled his eyes at his sister’s pouting face, her watery green eyes aimed up at Karl’s soft smile. Though Sapnap and Karl had spent plenty of time with her the final days of their vacation, Josephine was just as greedy as the first night they met. When the family had gone for breakfast at Granny Susan’s Cafe, Josephine wedged herself between them, demanding Karl share pancakes and home fries with her. She demanded his attention at night for movies, and even made Karl read her a bedtime story (despite not needing one for years). Grace only shrugged and laughed at Sapnap’s irritation, knowing nothing would stop the little tornado.

Karl leaned down to settle at her eye level before he gave a slow nod. “My boss needs me to go make videos. You want to watch me hang out with Mr. Beast, right?”

“I guess so.” She didn’t look happy with the compromise, but her frown broke into laughter when Karl tickled her. “Karl!”

“I’ll be back before you know it, Josie! Then we can do all of this fun stuff again.” He continued his playful attack until Josephine was in tears, only stopping when her cheeks turned red from lack of oxygen. “I love you all too much to stay away for long.” 

“Okay.” Happier than before, Josephine launched forward to hug him, her face buried into the collar of his sweater. “I’ll miss you.” 

“Not as much as me.” Giving her a final squeeze, Karl pulled away, and Sapnap watched him collect a steady breath before pushing back to his feet. Like the polite person he was, Karl turned toward Pa, hand held out with a softer smile. “It’s been nice to meet you, sir.” 

“Aw, none of that. Come here.” Pa grabbed his hand, using the connection to yank him forward into a firm hug. Too familiar for Sapnap’s overfilled heart, he only grinned at seeing how easily Karl fit into his Texas home. They’d been at the house for a week, but to him, it felt like Karl had lived there their whole lives. The comfort was genuine, too organic to ignore. 

Grace’s eyes had already filled with affection when Karl stepped in front of her. “You have some nerve, sweeping in here like this and stealing our hearts.”

“Guilty as charged,” Karl replied, sheepish in his grin while holding out his arms. Her soft huff mixed disbelief and affection, hands dropping on his shoulders before reeling him in. 

“If you need anything at all, you better call me. I know you’ve got a lot of support in North Carolina, but don’t be a stranger once you leave. We’ll have to plan your next trip before Thanksgiving.” 

“I bet it’s lovely here in the fall.” 

“Come around October and we’ll show you the best Halloween you’ve ever seen.”

“Sounds… perfect.”

Karl went limp in her hold, though it didn’t surprise Sapnap. He knew how powerful his mother’s embrace was, despite never adding her strength in it. She made sure everyone felt loved, sharing her sunny soul to each person that stumbled into her care. He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten so lucky to have her as his mom, but he would never look a gift horse in the mouth. 

He didn’t want to break up the moment, but the time worked against them. Taking a slow breath, Sapnap moved forward and cleared his voice. “We gotta get going.” 

“Okay.” Karl squeezed her once more before stepping back, his back bumping into Sapnap’s chest. Too aware of what the clock also meant for them, Sapnap wrapped his arm around Karl’s waist, pulling him closer during his goodbye. “I’ll visit every chance I get. Can’t be letting my Lightning Bug grow up without her papa. Even if Stinknap doesn’t come, you won’t get rid of my anytime soon.” 

“Sweet!” 

Josephine’s excitement earned Sapnap’s snort, rolling his eyes before leaning around Karl to flick her forehead. “Keep dreaming, munchkin. He ain’t stepping one foot in this town without me.” 

“You worried Jackson will whisk me away?” Karl teased, leaning back and laughing at the pinch Sapnap pressed to his hip. “Don’t be mean, or I’ll tell Kenzie.” 

“See, this is why I never brought you here.” Groaning, Sapnap dropped his forehead ont he back of Karl’s head before shaking it. “How do you manage to turn everyone against me? This is my town.” 

“Maybe I’m just cuter.” 

“I’ll show you cute, you fucking—”

“Nicholas.” 

His mother’s warning tone cut off Sapnap’s insult, scowling into the brunet curls while Karl giggled. “We’re really gonna miss our planes if we stay any longer.”

“He’s right.” 

Sending the family a final goodbye, both men grabbed their suitcases and moved into Sapnap’s rental car. Though he had wanted to take his truck, leaving the car at the airport was easier for the family, and gave him more time alone with his boyfriend. Their trip to the airport was bittersweet, and he hated how the time slowly slipped away with each traveled mile. Karl tried to keep Sapnap laughing with loud singing of songs he didn’t have a right to belt out with a straight face. It was terrible, but just seeing Karl enjoy himself in his passenger seat was worth his ear’s pain.

“How are these even heavier than when you got here?” Sapnap complained, dragging the mentioned luggage along the polished floor. 

Karl only shrugged, more interested in looking at the numbers on the gate. “Magic? I am pretty enough to be a Disney princess.” 

“You gonna wear a gown and clean my house?” Sapnap asked, grinning when Karl laughed at the stupid question. 

But the fond look faded away when Karl stopped walking. “Oh, well… here’s gate six. My final stop.” 

“Shit.” 

Sapnap stared at the painted number, wishing he could make it vanish with his scowl. His hands tightened on each of the handles he hadn’t let go of, knowing it was too dangerous to release them. Without something to keep them occupied, Sapnap would snag the other man into his embrace to kiss him until both missed their flights. Though neither was ashamed of their feelings for each other, they knew what it meant to expose their relationship to the world. With the stress, rumors, and low-key homophobia that social media spread, both wanted to enjoy their ‘honeymoon’ phase before sharing it. 

After taking a few slow breaths, Sapnap held out the suitcase to Karl with a hesitant smile. “I don’t know if I ever said it, but… thanks for coming to visit my family.” 

“Uh, I think you mean our family. Your Pa basically offered to build a house for me on his farm.” 

“That’s cause he wants me to come around more and give him free labor! He knows it's easier to get to me through you.”  

“I wonder why that is.” Testing the limits like he always did, Karl stepped forward into Sapnap’s space, tapping sneaky fingers onto his chest. “Is it because I’ve stolen a little piece of your Texan heart?” 

“You’re…” Whatever joking comment he wanted to say fell out of his mind when peering up at Karl, watching the morning light soften the edges of the pretty face. With a stare he felt projected his feelings for anyone around them, Sapnap ignored his mind’s reminder of keeping their relationship out of the public eye. His feet moved without permission, yanking Karl forward into a bear hug. The motion made Karl squeak and drop his luggage, but the reaction didn’t stop his mouth from mumbling the truth into his collarbone. “You have my whole heart, nimrod. You always have.” 

“T-That’s sneaky, Sapnap.” Karl’s wobbly voice gave away the true damage of Sapnap’s reply, lanky arms quick to return the affection. 

A set of soft sniffles into the side of his hat made Sapnap squeeze tighter. “I’m going to come visit you and Foolish as soon as I can, okay? I promise we won’t be apart for long.” 

“Good, because the fans think we’re breaking up anytime we go missing for a week.” With a hidden kiss dropped against Sapnap’s curls, Karl only pulled away when the announcement of his plane boarding echoed overhead. Neither looked excited when Karl bent down to collect his stuff, Sapnap clutching his own baggage to remind him of his own plane in an hour. 

“Guess this is it,” he said, unsure which emotion weighed down the soft comment. Karl didn’t reply right away, his eyes more focused on taking in the scenery outside of the large airport window. Sapnap tried to think of how to break the silence, but Karl beat him to it. 

“I want to keep coming here.” Bittersweet but genuine, Karl’s eyes shined with his honest confession. “Visit again and again until I can see the roads on the back of my eyes when I close them. Until I can name all your Pa’s cows, and have everyone one of Mackenzie’s ladies do my hair. Until I can jump off the rope at the lake by myself. Until I actually earn your mom calling me her son.”

Sapnap’s world froze when the light blue gaze caught him in a spell that felt too much like forever to breathe through. “Nick, until my heart stops beating, I want to do it all with you.”

“Karl…” His throat caught his voice, wishing he had something to soothe the growing ache in his stomach. They weren’t even separated yet and he missed him. Needing his own form of comfort, he reached out, knocking their knuckles together while he nodded. “Anything you want, I’m down. No more holding back.”

“Not until Jimmy kidnaps me on a stranded island or something.” Karl laughed and blinked away his tears, stepping back toward his gate. “Gotta go. Text me when you get home, okay?”

“First thing I’ll do,” Sapnap promised, forcing his feet to stay still when Karl smiled and turned away. 

He watched silently while Karl slipped through the security gate, making easy conversation with the worker while following her instructions regarding his luggage. He didn’t leave until Karl peeked one more time over his shoulder, pretending to blow a kiss that would be seen as Karl’s normal flirting if anyone caught it. Then, Karl disappeared out of Sapnap’s sight, and he was alone. The instant rush of overwhelming feelings made him suck in a shaky breath, hand scrambling to find his phone before calling the only person he trusted to help him get his head on straight. 

“He went to his gate, didn’t he?” Dream didn’t say hello, but kept his tone more sympathetic than cocky regarding his question. 

“Now I know why George didn’t want to come to Texas after London,” Sapnap admitted, tugging on his hat while blowing out a slow groan. “What the fuck do I do now? My heart just hopped on a plane to North Carolina, and all I want to do is chase after it.” 

“Ugh, don’t say that.” George’s voice pressed closer, meaning Dream had put the call on speaker phone. “Dream’s gonna get an even bigger head.” 

“What?” Sapnap blinked, then scowled at his friend’s stupid interruption. “What the hell? I’m heartbroken and you’re worried about Dream’s ego?”

“No, I’m annoyed with your stupid brotherly connection with my boyfriend.” 

“Want me to start introducing him as my ‘step-bro’? Cause let me tell you, fanfics about to go crazy when I get back.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you, Sappy Nappy?” 

“George,” Dream cut in, sighing before he seemed to turn his attention back to Sapnap. “I had a feeling that you’d need more time to be with Karl, since it’s a new relationship. But you’re not the type to figure out your feelings until it’s almost too late. So, we called your mom last night and asked when Karl’s flight was. And maybe I bought you a ticket to North Carolina, too.” 

“Dream’s 1000 IQ isn’t perfect ,” George said, scoffing. “He thought you’d call before this, so really it’s your fault if you don’t get on that flight.” 

“But…” Sapnap’s stunned mouth struggled to work through his racing thoughts. “But I thought you missed me?”

“Ew, no. Never come back.”

“We do. We both do, very much.” Dream made sure that Sapnap didn’t feel left out before he gave a light laugh. “But like you said; we know what it feels like to be separated from the person you love when you’ve finally figured it out. The last thing we wanna do is get in the way of you and Karl’s happiness. So go enjoy it for a week or a month. Whatever you need. Nothing will change between us.”

“Yo-you guys…” For the millionth time that day, the edges of his eyes started to burn with his emotion. “Fuck, I love you idiots.”

“George and I love you too,” Dream answered, George dramatizing his sigh so much that Sapnap could almost see his eye-roll.

“Go be with your little Karl. I guess we’ll be here, waiting for you to come home. We might give your room to Skeppy, though.”

“Thanks, dickhead.” 

“I just sent the email with the ticket,” Dream said, Sapnap’s heart flipping with the new opportunity. 

“Go go go!” George shouted, like he was causing chaos in MCC. “You’re gonna take the biggest L when you can’t get on the plane. Get off the phone, Sapnap!”

“Fuck you.” Then he hung up, ignoring his bright grin when seeing the mentioned email pop onto his notification screen. Yanking his bags up while he rushed toward the gate Karl had just disappeared into, he couldn’t shake his racing heart. Sapnap didn’t know how long he’d stay in North Carolina, or what would happen with their relationship in the future. But none of that mattered when tossing his bags through the check-in slot. For now, there was one thing on his mind.

He had the biggest heart in Texas to catch.