Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was just another day at Northside Academy, the occasional gossip floating around, the standard couples and way too much PDA.

‘I mean seriously, school isn’t exactly a place to stare down each other’s throats..’ James thought, making his way to class. James was quiet, kept his head down, and was as least noticeable as possible. Unlike everyone else, or so it seemed, James didn’t care about drama, or relationships, or really anything except his academics. Well that’s not entirely true. He did care about one other thing.

Ajax Lawrence, Northside’s heart throb. Well.. at least he used to be. He was the star quarterback, he had straight A’s, he was popular. That was until June of last year, where he was mysteriously pulled from school. He dropped out of all his sports and when he came back he was almost like a shell, nothing behind his eyes. Of course, rumours spread. Some were about him being involved with drugs, or that his mother had passed. But for whatever reason, James never really believed it.

James sat in his seat, blankly staring at the board. He opened his notebook, mindlessly doodling until the teacher walked in.

“Alright, class, we actually have a transfer from another class. He’s been in this class before, but I’m very happy to welcome him back.” Miss. Naomi said, gesturing for someone to enter.

Ajax Lawrence entered, looking soulless as ever. Holy. Cow. Even when he looked like a depressed mop, Ajax still managed to be hot.

“Alright, Mr. Lawrence, take a seat next to Mr. Valentine” Miss. Naomi gestured to James. Ajax walked over to him, sitting down beside him, their shoulders touching slightly.

The class continued as usual, besides the fact James felt like he was going to explode. He still took notes, highlighting and colour coding them, and he also made note of important dates, such as the day of their first exams for the last term.

“Oh, also” Miss Naomi continued “We have a small passion project of sorts for our year tens to get extra credit.” Extra credit? James’ ears perked up. Although he was nowhere close to failing the class, if he got this extra credit he may be bumped up to an A+.
James volunteered almost immediately, raising his hand.

“Alright, James.. Anyone els- Oh, Ajax, I’ll put your name down too.” Miss. Naomi said, tapping her pen lightly against the paper. She pulled them both aside after class.

James could feel his heart pounding, he could barely focus on what Miss. Naomi was saying, all he could think about was the fact he was standing next to Ajax. He was quickly snapped back to reality when Ajax nudged him slightly

“Uh, dude, did you catch any of that? You looked so spaced out it was crazy” Ajax giggled slightly, looking to James for an answer

“Oh, uhm, no, I didn’t” James blushed, looking down slightly.

“Woah, dude, my eyes are up here-” James’ eyes immediately snapped up to meet Ajax’s. “Good, anyway. Since we were the only two to volunteer, we’re gonna be working together.” Ajax smiled.

First of all, James hated group projects, second of all, spending a prolonged time with Ajax!? Nu uh, James wouldn’t be able to focus on anything. James stared at Ajax for a minute, waiting for him to continue.

“Uh, anyways.. I’ll give you my number, we can start the project over video call tonight?” Ajax asked

“Uhm, yeah, sure.” James said, handing Ajax his phone to put in his number.

The rest of the day was normal, James got his usual bus, got home, studied for a few hours, the norm. Then it came time to call Ajax, the thing that James had been dreading all afternoon. He had buried himself in extra work to avoid thinking about it but it didn’t work, Ajax was all he could think about. His eyes, his hair, his face, his arms, his hands, his- We’ll stop there. But to the point, James was obsessed. It was obvious, even his sister had made comments about it. His brother probably would too if he was here, luckily for James he had sport practice.

James’ parents had suggested that he join a sport, well.. Suggested is a relative term. He had until the end of the week to pick a sport and it was already Thursday. Well, it’s now or never. James hit the call button. After a few seconds of ringing, Ajax picked up.

“Hey.” Ajax said, sitting his phone on his desk
“Hi.” James replied, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it wasn’t comfortable either. Ajax finally broke the silence.

“So, uhm, our extra credit project is making the year ten leavers video. Not sure why they’d leave that up to the students” Ajax laughed, getting out his laptop.

“Oh, really? That’s actually kind of cool. I’ll choose our leavers song?” James said, typing something on his already turned on computer.

“That’d be great, darlin-” Ajax couldn’t cut himself off fast enough, quickly putting his hands over his mouth.

Ajax. Lawrence. Just. Called. Me. Darling.
James thought, almost having a heart attack in the process. They stayed silent most of the rest of the call, only talking when necessary. At the end of the call they both said their goodbyes.

“Crap. It’s ten thirty and I still haven’t eaten.” James muttered to himself, getting up from his desk. He slowly made his way to the kitchen. Everyone was already asleep but there was a plate of food with a note on it.

Hey, I love you. Try to eat earlier tomorrow, okay? We miss you

-Mum

Oh. Oh, he completely forgot he promised to eat with his family today, they even made his favourite. James sat at the table, looking at the plate, starting to tear up.

His mother had woken up to the cries and came out to see what had happened.
She saw James, sitting at the table, slumped over himself. She didn’t say a word, not about his posture, not about his grades, not about the scars that were under his night shorts that barely poked through. She simply came up behind him and held him. He jumped slightly, not saying a word before turning in his seat and sobbing into her chest.

“Hey, pumpkin..” She spoke softly, “Do you want to do this together?”

He nodded, letting go. She put the plate in the microwave and boiled some water. James had the habit of drowning himself in tea when he was overwhelmed, among other things. She got out his favourite tea bag, pouring the boiling water over it before handing it to him.

“Hey, uhm.. Mum” James said, as quiet as a mouse “Thank you.. For putting up with this” His mother turned to him before getting the plate out of the microwave.

“Nonsense.. I’m not putting up with anything. I’m glad you’re eating though.” She smiled, holding James’ hand with both of hers.

James was mostly silent while eating, occasionally laughing at his mother’s jokes. After he had finished, his mum led him to his room. He was so out of it that she pulled back the covers he simply flopped into bed.

“Mm.. night, mum..” James said, sitting up slightly
“Night, pumpkin”.

The next morning was a student free day.
James peeled himself off his bed, getting dressed. It’s not that he had anywhere to be or anything, but getting dressed made him feel good. Whenever he just stays in his PJs there's no possible way he can be productive. He slipped his beat up vans on and walked down stairs.

“Morning, loser.” Iris said, not looking up from her phone.

“Lovely as ever, I see.” James rolled his eyes, sitting across from her.

It’s not that Iris was mean per se, but she certainly had an interesting way of showing affection. She had always been like this. But it’s not as if it was ever one sided. James pulled his phone from his pocket, going through his notifications.

Instagram.. Tumblr.. A new message? James didn’t really get texted much, people usually just called him, so this was unusual. The text read;

A: Hey, uhm, it’s Ajax, not really sure how to start this? But, good morning!

Attached was a picture of two cats, trying to suffocate Ajax—by the looks of it.

James put his phone down after simply responding good morning.
A few seconds later his phone dinged again, but he decided it wasn’t worth it to reply, he’d just mess it up.

His dad was at work, like always. Luckily, he was going to finish early today. James planned on just studying all day, but it seemed as if his mother, Iris and Noah had different plans. After James had finished the piece of toast he had made, his mother had walked into the room.

“Alright, everyone” she started, “this is the first early day your father has had in years” which was true, the last time he got off work early was James’ fourteenth birthday. James was currently sixteen years old.
“And I want to make it special, so we’re gonna make a meal as a family, got it?”

Noah looked up and rolled his eyes. “Why exactly are we getting Mr. Never eats over here to help with making food? He’d probably just burn it, or throw it u-”

James’ mother looked at Noah with fury in her eyes.

“Room. Now. We’ll talk later.” She spoke as if she was holding back fury.

James just sat there, staring into space. It’s not like Noah didn’t say stuff like this all the time, it’s just that.. It hurt. It still stung like a cut was placed directly in James’ throat. Iris looked over to him, there was obvious concern in her eyes but she was figuring out how to voice it.

“I’ll go get the ingredients, gotta put my licence to use” James laughed, grabbing his keys from the table. His mother handed him the list and he headed out the door.

It wasn’t much to get, just cheese, milk, pasta and oregano, they already had everything else. James walked around the supermarket, looking like a lost puppy.
“Where the hell is the good cheese..” he muttered to himself, looking down. He kept walking until he bumped into something warm, and soft.

“Uhm, James?”

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. It was-

Chapter Text

“Uhm, James?” Ajax said, taking a step back, evening out his clothes.

James stumbled back, almost bumping into a display stand.

Ajax had taken a liking to James, he’s not completely sure why. Something about him was just, calming.

“Hey, hey” Ajax started, grabbing James’ arm, “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” he pulled James away from the display. He could see how red James was getting. He was used to it. It’s not like this was a new phenomenon. Ajax was traditionally attractive, whatever the actual hell that means. He was used to having girls swoon all over him. Not that he ever liked it.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for ignoring your message this morning- I-” James stuttered. You could see the cogs turning in his head. It was.. Kinda cute.

“It’s alright, Valentine” Ajax gently pet his head, “You looking for something?” He inquired.

“I’m trying to look for this specific brand of cheese, mum refuses to cook with anything else but I can’t bloody find it!” James rolled his eyes, clearly frustrated.

“Oh, wait, it’s the Northview Cattle brand, right?” Ajax asked.

James nodded his head

“Oh, it’s right here, it’s got its own little section. No idea why, it’s not like this is the Kurt Lewis of cheese.” Ajax joked, turning to James.

James’ eyes lit up with excitement, “You listen to Kurt Lewis?” he asked, trying to not seem too excited

“Yeah, I’ve been listening to him since he started his music career. He also got me into Jack Buckley, so.” Ajax gave a small laugh, picking up the cheese.

“i’M kUrT lEWiS iN cHeeSE FoRm” Ajax said in a ridiculously dumb voice.

After a few seconds of silence the two burst out laughing, James almost fell over.

“Oh, actually.. Would you mind joining me? I think mum thinks I have no friends” James laughed nervously
“Isn’t that like, half true” Ajax retorted

“No! I have friends.. Sort of.” James thought for a few moments trying to come up with an answer.

“Teachers don’t count!” Ajax said, holding in a giggle

“Oh come on, that's not fair!” James responded in a whine.

Ajax had agreed to join James for lunch, they both messaged their respective guardians to ask, or more accurately in Ajax’s case, tell them what was happening. James’ mum sounded surprisingly enthusiastic considering it was through text. Ajax’s older sister, Erika, simply asked him to stay safe.

James collected the rest of the items on the list before heading to check out. He had added a few extra things to his basket that were not on the list, Ajax had noticed.

“That’s $111.34 total, cash or card?” The cashier asked in a monotone voice.

James gulped at the number

“Card.” James said, pulling his card out of his wallet. He tapped it against the screen and in bold letters it read “DECLINED.”

Ajax could see how embarrassed James was, so in a fit of blind affection and stupidity, Ajax tapped his own card against the machine. A quick ding was heard and he grabbed the bags

“Alright, let's go.” Ajax said, turning to the door.

“What? My card declined, I haven't paid-” James was quickly cut off

“I did. Now let's go.” Ajax grabbed James’ hand, pulling him towards the exit.

James’ face displayed a mixture of embarrassment and confusion, but didn’t say anything. They loaded the bags into the back of the car, making sure nothing broke or split.

“I’m gonna have a quick smoke break, alright?” Ajax said it more as a question rather than a statement.

“You smoke?” James sounded rather surprised

“Yeah, nasty habit but.. Everyone has their vices.” Ajax said, pulling a packet and lighter from his pocket.

“Right, I’m gonna sit in the car, just get in when you’re done” James said, almost as a squeak before getting into the driver's seat. A few minutes passed and Ajax got into the passenger seat silently. It was awkward for the first few minutes before a song came on the radio. I’ll steal your heart (since you stole my car) by Kurt Lewis.

Out of nowhere James started singing the intro, it sounded like he knew it off by heart.

Ajax hummed the melody while James was singing his heart out. Ajax turned to look at him, smiling softly before getting right back into it. Around twenty minutes later they pulled into the driveway of a very lived in looking cottage style home. James brought Ajax inside.

Sitting at the table, not having moved, was Noah.

“Oh, you’re back. And you brought a random guy off the street, great.” Noah rolled his eyes

“He is not a random guy off the street!” James said, seemingly getting more frustrated by the second.

“Probably a good thing. Hey, random hot guy, are you good in the kitchen?” Noah turned to Ajax.

“Uh. Sort of?” Ajax responded, nervous.

“Good enough. You’ll be better than James over here, considering you’ll probably actually eat what you cook.” Noah laughed, getting up.

“Noah cut it out.” James said, trying to hold back some amount of obvious fury.

“Pft, cut what out? The only cutting I know of is your damn thighs-” James put a hand over Noah’s mouth

“Knock. It. Off.” James said, in an almost threatening tone.

“Jeez, I was just joking.” Noah rolled his eyes, walking in the direction of his bedroom.

“Is.. he always like that?” Ajax asked softly.

“Not … Always. Most of the time though. I’ve learnt to deal with it.” James sighed, sitting on one of the dining room chairs.

“Do your parents do anything about it?” Ajax sat down next to him.

“Mum tries, nothing really seems to get through to him though. And dad is barely home so..” James started to tear up. “Sorry, this is stupid..” he trailed off.

“No it’s not! The way your brother treats you is horrible.” Ajax grabbed James’ hands. Ajax only had one sibling, an older sister. But he couldn’t imagine anyone treating James like that. Sure, he didn’t really understand proper sibling dynamics but that just seemed unnecessarily cruel.

Someone who appeared to be James’ mother came out of the kitchen.

“Oh, hello dear” She said, smiling, “It’s lovely to finally meet you, Ajax.”

He’s not sure why, maybe it was her voice, maybe it was her demeanour, but Ajax just felt so at home around this woman. She was barely one hundred and fifty centimetres, round and had lovely gold-brown eyes.

“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Valentine.” She laughed at his formalites

“Ajax, please, just call me Mandy. I’m not into honorifics.” She smiled, sitting across from them.

“Anyways.. Oh. Wait, you haven’t met Iris yet. Eh. you’ll meet her eventually..” James trailed off

“Why don’t you two go up to James’ room until I need you both, hm?” James’ mother smiled.

“Uhm, yeah okay, c’mon, Ajax” And just like that, James had pulled Ajax from his seat, dragging him up the stairs.

James’ room was … Well exactly what you’d expect it to be. Homework everywhere, pens scattered across the floor, a few posters hung up. The most unexpected thing was the fact his room wasn’t completely white. He had a light olive accent wall that his bed rested against that was decorated with a corkboard and book pages.

“You have a loft bed? And a desk? Why? that seems… Overkill” Ajax said, sitting on the floor in the middle of the bedroom.

James cocked his head slightly to the side
“Why exactly are you sitting on the floor? I have chairs, you know.” He said, pulling out his desk chair and pointing to the bean bag chair that Ajax had sat right next to.

“Your carpets are soft. I like them. Anyway, we should work on that project” Ajax nodded to James’ open laptop.

“Oh, yeah right. I totally forgot about that—” James said, loading up the video software they used. He turned to Ajax and thought for a moment. “We.. should start this off with us. Considering we made the video.”

James grabbed his phone, walking over to Ajax and slumping down next to him. What he did next took a stupid amount of guts and a disproportionate amount of stupidity. He put his arm around Ajax’s shoulder, pulling him in smiling. A few clicks later and it was over.

The burning feeling in Ajax’s stomach subsided. He wondered briefly if James felt it too..

“Alright, that should be good..” James thought of what to say next, you could see it in his eyes. “We should add something like ‘brought to you by the incredibly hot Ajax Lawrence and his pet’-” James paused for a moment.

“No-not, that- NO, I didn’t mean-” James stuttered “I mean, you’re hot, but- ahHa” James looked at Ajax like a kicked puppy. “I’ll shut up now.”

“That’s probably for the best, you sound like a kid just starting puberty.” Ajax cleared his throat. “nO- Not, ThaT-” Ajax laughed.

James screamed at the horrible impression, kicking his legs in the air. “I don’t sound like that!”

“Yes you do!” Ajax yelled back, laughing.

Mandy had called them down a few minutes later. Ajax tried to be as useful as possible, cutting vegetables, boiling water, but he still felt like he wasn’t doing enough. James’ dad was going to get back soon and they had just set the table.

There was a sudden sound of keys and a lock turning

“Honey I’m home!” A deep, rough voice yelled.