Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They were all laughing. No one believed him. And why would they?

Twenty-three-year-old Nick Nelson, fresh out of University, at the beginning of his first teaching job. He’s practically invisible. A nobody. Why, of all people, would he be dating a celebrity — at least, that’s what his new colleagues thought.

They’d asked him if he had a girlfriend, to which he responded that, actually, he had a boyfriend. He couldn’t help but smile as he said it. Just thinking about the boy he’d been in love with since he was sixteen was enough to make him giddy, even now, while standing in a crowded Primary School staff room.

“He’s a drummer,” he told them proudly when a woman — who he couldn’t quite remember the name of — had asked.

“Yeah? Does he get gigs at pubs and parties, and things like that?”

“Well, uh, actually,” he paused, “he’s on tour.”

“Tour,” someone echoed from across the room — he wasn’t sure who, they were all looking at him by then — humour evident in their voice. “What, is he famous or something?”

They had decided to keep it quiet, staying out of the public eye, while Nick was studying and the band rose in success. Their friends and family knew, of course, and their old classmates from Truham Grammar probably assumed they’d still be together — it was obvious to everyone who knew them that they would never be able to get enough of each other. There just wasn’t any need to bring unwanted attention to their relationship during that time in their lives, from people who didn’t truly know them. But now it was different. They didn’t want to hide it anymore.

“Kinda,” Nick laughed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Who is it?” One of the women asked expectantly, sidling up next to him — Suzy, he thinks her name is — she couldn’t have been much older than he was.

“Go on, tell us,” another young woman, Rochelle, chimed in, standing on his other side.

Everyone had fallen silent as they stood in anticipation. He wasn’t used to this kind of attention outside of rugby, he didn’t care much for the spotlight, if he was being honest. It was a bit unnerving having all eyes on him, for them to be this interested in who he was romantically involved with, a crowd of people literally on the edges of their seats. Waiting. Wondering.

It was now or never.

“His name is Charlie.” A smile tugged at his lips just from saying the name out loud. “Charlie Spring.”

And that was when the room descended into chaos.

“BULLSHIT!”

“From Queer Intentions?!” one of the women beside him shrieked into his ear.

“ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT!”

“Good one, Nicholas!” someone chuckled.

“YOU’RE TAKING THE PISS!”

“Who?” an old lady at the back of the room asked.

“CHARLIE FUCKING SPRING?!”

“How long have you been together?” Suzy asked him, gripping at his arm. If her wide eyes, gaping mouth and general demeanour were anything to go by, she must’ve been a fan.

“Don’t encourage him, he’s obviously just having a laugh!” a bloke named Kyle shouted from across the room, the same one who had been swearing like his life depended on it.

“Seven years,” Nick said, ignoring the chorus of absolute denial and mayhem that filled the room as he said it. “Since I was sixteen.”

He really should have anticipated their reactions. Nick Nelson dating the Charlie Spring. For seven whole years! If he was one of them, he probably would have laughed too. But they’d been together for so long, intertwined in a way that no one could even begin to comprehend. It was as if there was a thread tying their souls together — invisible but infinite — like they had been destined to meet. Although the world hadn’t seen it yet, there couldn’t be one without the other. They were Nick and Charlie, after all.

“That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard, there’s no way!” Kyle continued his rant. “Next week he’ll be telling us that the guitarist is his ex, or something!”

“No,” Nick snorted. “Sahar’s just a friend.”

The laughter went on for weeks. They teased him to no end, not a single one of his coworkers believing in his relationship. Even Suzy — which he’d discovered actually was her name — had gotten over her initial awestruck reaction and joined in with the throng of jokesters in their endeavours. Nick just rolled his eyes, there was something new every day.

“I can’t believe you thought you could trick us into believing that Charlie Spring is your boyfriend,” snarky Kyle roared with amusement, wiping tears from his eyes.

“I know he’s hot, mate,” another man, Stanley, added, “I’d be down to go out with him too. But come on, at least pick someone you actually have a chance with!”

“It’s alright, Nick,” Angelica, the librarian, patted him on the shoulder as she walked past a little too gleefully with a cup of tea, “celebrity crushes are completely normal.”

Celebrity crush? That was the furthest thing from what Charlie was to Nick. They wouldn’t even be able to comprehend the feelings that were constantly swirling around his heart about the wavy-haired young man. He had gotten far beyond anything as simple as a crush.

The day he brought in a photo, fits of laughter erupted around him once again — various people chuckling about how he had made the effort to both print it and get it framed.

“That’s so obviously photoshopped,” somebody said, peering over his shoulder to get a look.

It was one they had taken only a month before, Charlie’s arms wrapped securely around Nick’s middle, their cheeks pressed together, grins spread across their faces. Charlie was wearing one of Nick’s sweatshirts, one that he’d taken with him on tour, looking cuddly as ever.

“I’ve definitely seen that picture of him before,” Rochelle added. Suzy nodded in agreement.

Wrong again. Their friends hadn’t even seen the picture yet, let alone a pair of obsessed fangirls.

At the beginning of the second week, it was announced over the intercom that his boyfriend was waiting for him in the staff room. He knew that wasn’t true. Charlie was rehearsing with the band all day, he wasn’t even in the same town.

When he arrived, deciding to humour them anyway, there was a cardboard cutout waiting for him. A cardboard cutout of his boyfriend. He didn’t even want to know which of his coworkers that belonged to.

They were all swooning over it, giggly and doe-eyed.

At least whenever Nick was enamoured by Charlie, it was over the real thing. Holding him in his arms. Kissing him whenever he wants. Whispering sweet nothings to him as they stay up ‘til the early hours of the morning.

“I can see why you’re obsessed with him,” a guy named Edmund, who he’d never spoken a word to before, said from beside him. “He’s fit! ”

It wasn’t entirely inaccurate. Nick was definitely a bit Charlie-obsessed. But he was allowed to be.

“Will you all stop ogling my boyfriend,” he grumbled as he folded his arms over his chest, earning some laughs from each corner of the room.

Rochelle and Angelica were practically drooling. Suzy was down on her knees as if she was speaking a prayer. If they heard him, they didn’t let on, too caught up in their own little Charlie Spring fantasy worlds.

He almost tripped over himself when he noticed that Kyle was the one departing the school with the fake version of his boyfriend. That was something he never would have expected.

The end of the third week came around and the teasing hadn’t ebbed. Nick was sitting in the staff room at the end of the day, bopping his head along to the Queer Intentions song that was currently playing over the office intercom. They had been playing on a loop for days, and honestly, he didn’t mind one bit. He could listen to Charlie play the drums indefinitely.

There was a knock at the door which pulled him out of his thoughts. The room fell into a stunned silence as the door creaked open. He turned to face the entranceway, following everyone’s line of sight, when he saw him.

Charlie.

His hair was a mess of curls, his lips smiling sweetly, and his bright eyes were so soft as they gazed right back into Nick’s.

“What are you doing here?!” Nick squealed in excitement, leaping up from his chair to wrap his arms tightly around his boyfriend. “I thought you were coming back tomorrow night!”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Charlie told him, laughing lightly when Nick lifted him off the ground for a brief moment.

“I missed you,” Nick whispered, resting their foreheads together, “so much.”

He leaned in closer, breathing in his boyfriend's scent, letting their lips find each other in a gentle kiss. They’d been apart far too long.

A chorus of gasps filled the room. Someone screamed — Suzy — the sound muffled by her hands. Kyle was choking on a biscuit as Stanley slapped him repeatedly on the back in a failing attempt to clear his airway. A mug clattered to the ground, Angelica’s hands now empty as she visibly malfunctioned, spilling hot tea across the carpet. Rochelle was either on the brink of tears or murder — probably both. Eyes were twitching. People were shouting. Several faces were glaring at Nick, jealousy seeping from their eyes.

He couldn’t care less.

“WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!” Kyle screeched with a raw and ragged voice, his airway presumably clear.

“C-Charlie Spring…” stammered Suzy, she was starting to hyperventilate.

Angelica took a wary step forward, eyes bulging. She tripped on her forgotten mug, knocking a seething Rochelle into the puddle of tea.

“Come off it, Nick!” Rochelle wailed, her face screwed up and her fists clenched, where she sat on the floor. “If this is some kind of sick joke it’s not bloody funny!”

She was wrong. It was most definitely funny.

“You done for the day?” Charlie asked softly, ignoring the commotion, as they pulled away from one another.

“Yeah,” Nick smiled back, slinging his bag over his shoulder and lacing their fingers together. “Let’s go.”

They bumped their shoulders together as they walked out of the school grounds, neither one wanting to be more than an inch away from the other. Not even for a second.

“You’re gonna get mobbed on Monday, you know,” Charlie laughed, gently rubbing his thumb over Nick’s knuckles.

“I know,” Nick sighed dramatically, turning back to Charlie with a grin. “But I don't care. It means I get to talk about you all day.”

“You need more hobbies,” Charlie told him jokingly.

Nick stuck his tongue out in response. “I could always be your roadie.”

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you.”

“Following you around all day? I can’t think of anything better.”

They laughed, they both knew it was true. Nick would give up everything for Charlie in a heartbeat. The same could be said for Charlie too. They’d felt that way for seven years already, the deep love they shared for each other was never going to change. Not for anything.

“Nick, that’s so cringe.” Charlie rolled his eyes, giving him a slight shove.

“Admit it,” Nick grinned, “you want me to.”

“Okay, fine,” Charlie said. “But only because I love you.”

Chapter Text

People were shouting, cameras were flashing. All because of their intertwined hands and a kiss on the cheek.

They had gone into town for an outing — Charlie was wearing a cap so as to not draw too much attention to himself. Incognito, he’d called it, slapping the hat atop his head before they left their house that morning. Nick chuckled, chasing his not-so-well-camouflaged boyfriend out the door and into the autumn air.

“You should wear caps more often,” Nick told him, brushing his shoulder against Charlie’s as they walked closely down the buzzing shop-lined street.

“Will you stop looking at me like that, you’ll trip over,” Charlie warned with a blush, noticing he was the focal point of Nick’s attention. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“But you’re so nice to look at,” Nick gushed.

It was true, what Charlie had said, Nick got a bit clumsy when he was around him — giddy and drunk on love. On more than one occasion he had tripped over his own feet or bumped into a wall, eyes never straying far from the dark-haired boy that he found himself so captivated by. He was always in a state of awe, endlessly wonderstruck. It was a mystery how he’d managed to get through seven years of their relationship without sustaining injuries.

“You’re worth tripping over for,” he confessed, wrapping his arms around Charlie from behind.

Charlie rolled his eyes, placing his hands over Nick’s to keep him close as they continued lazily down the cobbled street. “You won’t be saying that when you’ve forgotten who I am because of all the head trauma.”

“Well, then I can just fall in love with you all over again, can’t I?” Nick uttered back fondly, resting his chin on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Lucky me,” Charlie replied, humour in his voice.

“Unless you don’t want me to,” Nick said, pulling away and attempting a look of indifference as he side-stepped past Charlie. “We can go our separate ways now, if you’d prefer.”

“I think that would be for the best,” Charlie quipped back, continuing on his journey down the street leaving a dumbstruck Nick in his wake.

“Charlie!” Nick called out with a pout, racing to catch up with his boyfriend and capturing his hand in his own. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” Charlie squeezed his hand in reassurance, smiling up at him sweetly. “Now, come on.”

They ended up in a small record shop — one that Charlie regularly dragged Nick to — their hands still firmly clasped together, neither one planning to let go. It was a safe place for them, somewhere that was never overly busy, where they had never felt the need to hide.

Pulling Nick along behind him, they found themselves at the back of the shop. Charlie instantly began rifling through the records, piling up anything that piqued his interest — which Nick noted was beginning to look like half of the entire store’s collection.

“And here I was thinking you brought me back here to make out,” Nick huffed dramatically, leaning against the wall.

Charlie only grinned at him before resuming his task.

“And where, exactly, are you planning on putting these?” Nick asked, pushing off from the wall to flick through the stack. “Don’t you already have enough?”

“Excuse me!” Charlie exclaimed, grabbing the ones from Nick’s hands and slapping them back onto the pile. “Some of these are for you!”

“I’ve already got an album at home, thank you. I don’t need any more.”

“An album? Singular?” Charlie questioned, eyebrows furrowing.

“Yep. It's by Queer Intentions. Have you heard of them?” he said jokingly.

“Hm, no, I don’t think I have,” Charlie played along, pretending to look perplexed.

“They’re pretty cool,” Nick informed him, stepping forward to close the gap between them. “The drummer’s kinda hot too.”

“A drummer, eh? Sounds a bit lame.”

“Oi!” Nick gasped in offence. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about!”

“Boyfriend? What happened to going our separate ways?” Charlie teased, moving backwards to widen the space between them that Nick had tried so desperately to close only a moment before.

Nick lunged in an attempt to wrap his arms around Charlie but the younger man evaded his grasp with ease, laughing and making a dash for the shop door. They stumbled outside — records forgotten — Nick chasing Charlie down the tree-lined walkway as if it was the hallway of their own home. If people were watching them, they didn’t notice, too distracted by one another to care.

Slowing down, Charlie turned and leaned back against a tree to allow his still-slower boyfriend to catch up. It had been that way since they met, Nick more often than not a pace behind, whenever they raced. 

“Caught you,” Nick grinned, out of breath, snaking his arms securely around Charlie so he couldn’t slip away again. “I win.”

“I let you catch me,” Charlie pointed out.

“Doesn’t matter, I still won.”

“Sure you did,” laughed Charlie.

Looking down at him where they still stood in each other’s arms, Nick’s face softened, his grin melting away. Charlie peered up at him, his blue eyes reflecting the same gentleness in Nick’s. Their hearts were beating fast in their chests, both from the chase and being so close to one another.

Nick leaned in, eyes fluttering closed as he tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips to Charlie’s cheek in a gentle kiss. Something so simple yet so full of love. It was only when he pulled away and opened his eyes again that he became aware of the bright flashes of light surrounding them and the people shouting his boyfriend’s name.

Charlie! Charlie Spring! Look at the camera, Charlie! Charlie, is he your boyfriend?! Charlie! What’s his name?! Give us a smile, Charlie! Charlie Spring! Kiss for the camera! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!

Swarms of people were circling them. Hands were reaching out towards Charlie, flailing about in a desperate attempt for his attention. Cameras were being shoved so close to their faces that Nick was afraid they’d get a clear shot up his nose. Weeping and whistling could be heard from all around, a mixture of emotions from seeing the Charlie Spring. Clearly, the incognito cap that he still wore was a failure.

There was another string of shouts, this time directed at Nick, making his head spin.

Are you Charlie Spring’s boyfriend?! Lucky sod! You’re so cute together! Kiss him again! Charlie is way out of your league! What’s your name?! This isn’t fair! How long have you been together?! Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

It was overwhelming — the chorus of crazed fans and paparazzi calling out to them both. Nick had never been at the centre of it before, always watching on from the sidelines or listening to Charlie’s experiences. This was different. He felt disoriented as he scanned the growing crowd around them — they came en masse, in far greater amounts than in his Rugby days — the only thing keeping his mind slightly sane was the warmth of Charlie’s hand that had slipped into his own, locking their fingers together.

He felt a tug on his hand and the next thing he knew they were moving, out of the busy street and away from the sea of flashing cameras, getting further and further from the cacophony of frenzied voices. They disappeared down an alleyway, tucked inconspicuously between some quiet shops, and into a small alcove.

“You okay?” Charlie asked him, a look of concern on his face.

Nick couldn’t help it, he burst into a fit of laughter, unsure whether it was due to what had just happened in the middle of the busiest shopping street in town or because the pair of them were currently crammed into the smallest nook that Charlie could’ve possibly found.

“It’s not funny, Nick!” Charlie shrieked, jabbing him in the chest with his finger. “You had me pressed up against a tree!”

Nick paused for a moment, taking in his boyfriend's serious expression before he resumed his sniggering and Charlie was overcome with laughter as well, the two of them leaning on each other as they rode out the hysterics.

Charlie gasped suddenly, hands flying up to cover his mouth, his eyes wide in realisation. “They’re gonna have a photograph of that!”

“Good,” Nick said cheekily. “I can hang it on my wall.”

There ended up being more pictures from that day than they had imagined — from the moment they had entered the street to when they had run off — Charlie’s hat doing very little to hide his identity. Photos of Nick draped over Charlie’s shoulders, holding hands as they entered the record shop and chasing each other out the door. Charlie against the tree as Nick held him tightly, a kiss on the cheek, their stunned faces, hands grasping each other and never wanting to let go.

The Queer Intentions fans going crazy was an understatement. The pictures spread like wildfire, each one being reposted over and over again. There were speculations about who Charlie’s mystery man was and how deep their relationship went — some people were claiming they were one second away from getting married while others were calling Nick an obsessed fan. Old photos were being dragged up from who-knows-where of all the times Nick appeared to be with a member of the band, which apparently had been quite a lot, not that anyone had ever paid him any mind until now.

“I suppose it should have been expected, people's reactions, especially with your fanbase,” Nick said as they lay in bed that evening, scrolling through some of the articles and posts that had already filled the internet.

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed, plucking the phone from Nick’s hand and tossing it aside, they didn’t need to look anymore. “As much as I want everyone to know we’re together, I’ve definitely enjoyed having you all to myself these past few years. Something that’s only mine.”

Nick hummed his agreement, snuggling further under the blankets and as close to Charlie as he could get.

“It’s draining,” he said after a moment.

“What is?” Charlie asked, pulling the duvet down a bit to reveal his boyfriend's tired face.

“People knowing everything about you,” he clarified. “I’ve only experienced it for a week and I’m exhausted, you’ve had to deal with it for four years. It’s a big difference to when we came out as a couple in school.”

“Yeah, it can get a bit tedious,” Charlie admitted, stroking a hand soothingly through Nick’s messy blonde hair. “I’m glad I’ve got you though, you make everything easier.”

Nick smiled up at him softly, love dancing around in his sleepy eyes. He leant up and gave Charlie a gentle peck on the lips before flopping back down onto his pillow with a sigh.

“It was funny at first — at work I mean — but then it just got irritating,” Nick confessed as he rolled onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. “My coworkers keep trying to score free tickets to your shows — it’s like they all suddenly think we’re best friends or something. I wish they’d stop treating me differently.”

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said quietly.

“Don’t be sorry,” Nick scolded lightly. “It’s just a lot, you know?”

“I know.”

There wasn’t much they could do about it, they both knew that, it came with the territory of fame. But at least they had each other — as well as Sahar, Aleena, and Jay, who had the shared experiences from being part of the band.

They’d gotten their first big break before Charlie had even graduated from Truham Grammar and then the next thing they knew they had signed with a widely renowned record label. Fame came fast after that, globally rising in success. Queer Intentions were the new big thing — bigger than any of them could have imagined. Everyone loved them, loved Charlie, and Nick couldn’t be prouder.

“Ugh!” Nick sighed heavily, rolling over again and burying his face into Charlie's stomach. “Can we run away together and just be us?”

“Is that really what you want?” Charlie asked softly, his hand moving to rub small circles onto Nick’s back.

“Yes,” he said in an instant, not even pretending to hesitate.

“Nick…” Charlie laughed. “You’d get bored.”

“I wouldn’t,” he professed truthfully.

He’d never get bored of being just Nick and Charlie. Neither of them would. It was their favourite thing in the world, just being with each other. They didn’t need anyone else. 

“What about Nellie and Henry? Your mum, Tori and Oliver, our friends?” Charlie reminded him. “You’d miss them.”

“Fine,” he mumbled after having thought about it for a brief moment. “They can come too.”

“Well, then it wouldn’t be just the two of us, would it?” Charlie teased, prodding Nick lightly in the ribs causing him to squirm.

They were always like this, poking fun at each other, even during the deeper and more open conversations. It’s just the way they were, nothing would ever change that. Not fame, not intrusive fans or paparazzi, not any of the difficult things that they went through in their lives. They joked around, they had fun, they cried together, they supported each other — because they were in love.

“Can we at least go on holiday?” Nick asked, peering up at Charlie with tired eyes.

“I dunno,” Charlie said with faux uncertainty, his voice playful. “I'm not sure I want to spend that much time alone with an obsessed fan. I have a boyfriend, you know.”

“Charlie!” Nick whined, throwing an unoccupied pillow at him and rolling to face the other way in a huff.

“You’re such a big baby,'' Charlie laughed as he pulled Nick back to face him. “We can go on holiday, I'd like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed. “Where should we go?”

“Anywhere.”

“We can just stay here if you want,” Charlie spoke softly, snuggling further into the bed, his arms back around Nick where they belonged. “We can nap and watch movies and no one will bother us.”

“That sounds nice,” Nick whispered, closing his eyes.

Charlie pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head, settling in for the night. They drifted off to sleep, the worries of the day slipping away, wrapped up in each other's arms.

Chapter Text

He was completely and utterly embarrassed. The whole world would’ve seen it, there was no taking it back. Not that he would, anyway, he had meant every single word. But, of all the things Charlie could’ve said on camera, it had to have been that.

It was his sister’s fault, really — at least that’s what he tried to convince himself — she was the one who had said a press weekend was the perfect time for Nick to accompany him out of town, for the two of them to spend some time alone together at the end of it. She was right, of course, it had been an amazing weekend. Aside from the fact that he apparently couldn’t keep his mouth shut about Nick on live television.

“Did you get the plane ticket?” Tori had asked him when she arrived at his and Nick’s house for dinner the week before, Michael Holden trailing behind her with a goofy smile on his face.

“Yes, Tori,” Charlie rolled his eyes, “I do know how to book a flight.”

“Just checking,” she said, shuffling further into the house and hanging her coat by the door.

“Popping the question tonight, are you, mate?” Michael grinned as he stepped inside, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses.

“It’s a plane ticket, not an engagement ring!” Charlie exclaimed, his face turning red.

“What’s this about a ring?” Nick’s voice called out from the other end of the hallway, causing Charlie’s breathing to falter and his eyes to widen significantly. He was standing by the doorway to the living room, his shoulder leaning casually against the wall. 

“Nothing!” Charlie said a little too fast as he turned to look at him. He hoped that his flushed face had dissipated slightly.

“I was just telling Charlie about my plans to woo his sister into marrying me,” Michael fibbed, slinking an arm over Charlie’s shoulder.

“We are not getting married,” Tori said flatly, marching off down the hall.

“Whatever you say, Tori,” he smiled widely as he strolled after her, the pair slipping past Nick and into the busy living room.

Nick’s mum and Charlie’s parents were chatting happily on one of the big sofas. A thirteen-year-old Oliver Spring was playing Mario Kart with an old border collie under his arm and a small pug curled up on his lap. The game was supposed to be on pause as he waited for his older brother to return, but Charlie could hear the game clearly from where he still stood in the hallway.

“What was that all about?” Nick laughed as Charlie went to stand beside him.

“Nothing,” Charlie told him again, this time calmer, linking their hands together and pulling him back into their living room. “Just Michael being Michael.”

It’d been a while since they’d had a big Nelson and Spring family gathering. Charlie was often busy with the band and Nick had felt swamped by his new teaching job. This was nice, having their joint family over, in their house. Nick joked that he finally felt like a real adult — a job, a house, a boyfriend waiting for him when he got home — hosting parties was the newest addition to their grown-up list.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Charlie announced after dinner, plonking himself down on the couch beside Nick, everyone watching on from the various other seats around the room. He held an envelope in one hand, Nick’s name was scrawled across the front in swirly letters with little doodles of hearts and stars surrounding it.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Nick told him sincerely, carefully plucking the package from his boyfriend’s grasp.

Charlie watched as Nick traced his finger delicately over the penmanship, his touch resting over one of the small hearts closest to his name.

“Go on, open it,” Charlie smiled at him encouragingly.

Slowly, Nick ripped open the envelope and pulled out the contents. He gasped lightly, a look of surprise painting his features. “Rome? You got me a plane ticket to Rome?”

“If Nick doesn’t want to go, can I?” Oliver butted in, excitement in his voice at the mention of a foreign city.

“Quiet, Olly,” Julio chided lightly, hushing his youngest son. Jane was sat beside him, her demeanour rigid as usual.

“It’s for next weekend,” Charlie told Nick, ignoring his little brother. “I know it’s kind of last minute and I’m gonna be busy for a lot of it with interviews and stuff, but I thought… maybe… if you want to… unless you think it will be boring—”

“Charlie,” Nick said softly, cutting off his boyfriend’s rambling. “Of course I want to go. Thank you.”

“And… You’re sure you won’t be bored? We can go another weekend if you’d prefer—”

“Charlie,” Nick interrupted again, chuckling slightly. “I promise I won’t get bored. I’ll have a whole city to explore, a fancy hotel room, and a rockstar boyfriend to follow around.”

“Still haven’t found yourself a new hobby then?” Charlie asked, a smile spreading across his face.

“Never,” Nick muttered, lightly resting their noses together. 

They locked eyes, gazing lovingly at each other, their foreheads touching. Charlie pulled Nick’s hand gently into his own, fiddling absentmindedly with his fingers, not caring that everyone’s focus was on them.

“That sounds like a lovely wee getaway,” Sarah smiled at the pair fondly. “Make sure you take lots of pictures, darling.”

“I will Mum,” Nick assured her, turning his face away from Charlie to smile back at her.

“Try to take some that aren’t of Charlie this time,” Tori commented pointedly.

“No promises,” he grinned, tugging the boy in question onto his lap so he could rest his chin comfortably on his shoulder. Charlie rolled his eyes, both at his boyfriend's comment and how clingy he was being, settling himself into the new position and pulling Nick’s arms securely around his torso.

It was very rare for Nick to take pictures that didn’t include Charlie as the focal point. He was always snapping photos, his phone filled with pictures of the boy he was in love with. He wanted to remember all of their little moments, even when Charlie fussed about being at the centre of it.

“So I can’t go then?” Oliver asked with a sigh.

“I’ll plan a Spring Siblings trip,” Charlie declared. “You, me and Tori. No boyfriends allowed.”

Nick and Michael both pouted at Charlie's comment, neither one enjoying the idea of being away from their partners. Nick had gotten used to it over the years with Charlie so often disappearing for band-related activities, but he still dreaded the separation, they both did. It was always emotional whenever they reunited. Even if they’d only been apart for a few days they would always cling to one another as if their lives depended on it, neither wanting to be the one to let go first.

They loved being together, never leaving each other's sides, so that’s — more often than not — what they did. Some people thought it was weird, especially when they were still in school, but they didn't care. They never cared. If wanting to be with each other indefinitely was considered weird then they supposed they’d be weird for the rest of their lives.

Charlie certainly enjoyed how weird their relationship was as they flew to Italy on Friday morning, his hand clasped in Nick’s for the entire flight. He could tell how much Nick relished in it too, hardly separating their fingers as he looked around in awe at the First Class cabin that they sat in. The only time he ever willed himself to let go of Charlie was to make a quick dash to the loo, which he came back absolutely beaming about.

“You’re acting like you’ve never seen a bathroom before,” Charlie laughed at his boyfriend's silly expression.

“It’s just so fancy!” Nick exclaimed far too enthusiastically, weaving their fingers together again and not letting go for the remainder of the flight.

When they got to their hotel room, still hand-in-hand, Nick surprised Charlie by tackling him — there had barely been enough time to set their bags on the ground before they both landed with a thud on the plush bed.

“Nick!” Charlie yelped, a little stunned. “You’re messing up my hair!”

Nick ignored him, relaxing his body and pinning the smaller man beneath himself.

“You know I have to leave with the others soon, right?” Charlie reminded him, patting Nick on the back with his right arm, the only limb that wasn’t trapped under the weight of his boyfriend.

“No,” he mumbled in protest, squishing Charlie further into the bed. “Stay here.”

“I can’t,” Charlie laughed, attempting to shove Nick away but failing. “Get off me you giant idiot, I have to change. I’ll be kicked out of the band one of these days if I keep turning up late.”

Sighing heavily, Nick rolled off Charlie, releasing him from his grasp and allowing him to scoot off the duvet-covered mattress.

“I can’t believe you’re abandoning me,” he moaned dramatically, pouting his lips and looking forlorn.

“If I knew you’d be this clingy I would’ve left you at home,” Charlie chuckled from where he stood by Nick’s feet.

Nick sat up, shuffling closer and wrapping his arms tightly around Charlie’s middle, smooshing his face into his boyfriend's hoodie-covered stomach.

“You can tag along tomorrow if you like,” Charlie suggested, brushing his fingers through Nick’s hair, “for the live interview.”

“Really?” Nick questioned with a hint of excitement in his voice, peering up at him. “I’ve never been to one of your interviews before.”

“First time for everything,” Charlie smiled as Nick tipped backwards, pulling Charlie with him.

Much to Nick’s dismay, Charlie left with the rest of the band not long later. The day was filled with a lineup of photoshoots and pre-recorded interviews, one of the most full-on days they’d had in a while, dragging well into the evening. Charlie was thankful to have Sahar, Aleena and Jay with him, they helped to keep his mind at ease whenever things got stressful — they had grown close over the years, experiencing and going through so much together. They made even the more monotonous days enjoyable, hardly ever a dull moment when they were around.

He felt kind of guilty for deserting Nick the way he had, inviting him to another country just to do his own thing — but Nick assured him it was fine, to enjoy his day and not rush. They texted consistently every hour, checking in on what the other was up to, sending little hearts and saying that they missed each other at least a dozen times.

“I got you a gift,” Nick announced when Charlie arrived back at the hotel that night, gesturing to the ‘ I love Rome’ hoodie that he had clearly just pulled on, his hair a ruffled mess on top of his head.

“It’s hardly a gift for me if you’re the one wearing it,” Charlie scoffed, shrugging off his jacket.

“I’m making it smell like me,” he explained, looking pleased with himself. “I thought you liked my smell.”

“I might…” Charlie muttered bashfully.

“And you like wearing my clothes,” Nick prodded further, closing the distance between them.

“Yes…” Charlie agreed above a whisper, looking up at Nick from beneath his eyelashes.

“Good, I like you wearing my clothes too,” he grinned proudly. “It’s a gift for both of us.”

Nick was still wearing the hoodie the next morning, looking as cuddly as ever, and Charlie wanted more than anything to spend the day wrapped up in his arms. He would’ve worn the garment himself had it not been for the fact that Saturday’s interview, the live interview, was the one that they as a band had been most anticipating. He wanted to look presentable for the camera and not be completely buried in the fabric of his boyfriend’s clothes, as much as he would’ve liked it.

Instead, he wore a charming white jumper and his usual black skinny jeans, strolling alongside his sharply dressed friends as they entered the elegant studio establishment where the interview would take place.

“Wait,” Nick gasped, falling a step behind Charlie and the band as he paused to take in the building that they stood in. “You’re being interviewed by the Giordano twins?”

“Um, yeah, I guess,” Charlie said, turning to see Nick’s wide eyes and his mouth agape. “Did I not tell you that?”

“Obviously not!”

“Somebody’s got a crush,” Sahar sing-songed.

“I do not!” Nick blurted out, his cheeks tingeing pink.

“I know a bi crisis when I see one, Nick, you can’t fool me,” she stated, continuing to poke fun at him.

“I’m surprised you didn’t guess — all of their interviews are in Rome,” Jay snorted, joining in with Sahar’s teasing. “You should know that, being such a big fan and all.”

“He was clearly too focused on Charlie to think about it,” Sahar laughed, raising her eyebrows at Nick as if to ask for confirmation.

“Well, yeah,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“What’s the big deal, anyway?” Aleena asked, continuing to walk through the hallway. “They’re just people like the rest of us.”

“Have you not seen them?” Nick exclaimed in mock offence, taking them all by surprise. Charlie couldn’t help but chuckle at his sudden change in demeanour — he was practically swooning. “They’re so cool, and their accents!”

“Says the French man!” Jay laughed.

“I happen to know someone who likes it when I speak French,” Nick said, wiggling his eyebrows in Charlie’s direction. “Foreign accents are a wonderful thing, aren’t they Char?”

Charlie just grumbled his agreement, averting his gaze to quell the flush that threatened to creep up his neck.

Nick practically skipped his way down the halls of the building, a grin plastered to his features — Charlie had to resort to placing a hand on his leg to steady it from its incessant bouncing as they sat backstage. It seemed to do the trick, like it always did, Nick placing his own hand atop Charlie’s and smiling at him sweetly.

They sat in a peaceful silence, letting the moments leading up to the interview tick by. Charlie’s mind was going over everything they had planned to talk about, possible questions that might be asked and the answers that they’d give.

“Hey, Char,” Nick whispered, tapping him on the arm to pull him out of his thoughts. “You playing the drums in that crop top of yours is my Roman Empire.”

A chorus of sniggering erupted from Charlie’s bandmates, clearly having overheard Nick’s words. Sahar was doubled over with laughter while Jay and Aleena were struggling to stay composed, the three of them failing miserably to hide their amusement.

“Nick, shut up!” Charlie squeaked, sinking low into his seat and covering his face with his hands. “Why did I invite you?”

“Because you love me,” Nick smirked. “And I’m serious by the way, you need to wear it more often. Look how hot you are!”

Nick pointed towards a poster on the far wall, it was a candid photo of the band playing one of their shows, ‘Queer Intentions’ printed over the top in big block letters. Charlie could be seen on the left of the picture, his black t-shirt that he’d cropped himself riding up slightly as he twirled a drumstick in the air.

“Nick!” Charlie screeched in embarrassment. “How am I supposed to go on camera when you’re saying stuff like that?”

“I can wait for you back at the hotel if you like,” Nick suggested, lowering his voice, clearly having noticed Charlie’s flustered appearance. “I know you’re not used to me being around for these things. If it makes it easier for you…”

“Do you mind?” he mumbled quietly, peeping at Nick from behind his fingers to study his expression, almost expecting to see disappointment but all he saw was understanding.

“Of course not,” Nick reassured him, reaching over to give Charlie’s hand a squeeze. “I’ve got some photos I need to take for my mum anyway — of something other than you, per Tori’s request.”

“Not sure how you’ll manage that, Nick,” Sahar laughed. “I’ve seen your camera roll!”

“I happen to like my camera roll, thank you,” Nick clarified happily, before turning back to Charlie. “Remind me to change my password later, yeah?”

“As if you’d ever change it to anything other than Charlie’s birthday,” Aleena teased.

“It’ll be Nellie’s or Henry’s birthday next won’t it?” Jay chimed in, raising their eyebrows at Nick knowingly.

“Right, well, that’s my cue to leave,” Nick announced, standing from his seat, slightly embarrassed by his friend's knowledge of his password choices. “Good luck with the interview, you lot. Say ‘hi’ to the Giordano’s for me!”

He leaned down to kiss Charlie’s forehead softly, locking their eyes together as he pulled away.

“I’ll see you later in our hotel room,” he winked cheekily before dashing away.

Charlie’s face flushed a deep red at Nick’s flirtatious departure, he was beyond thankful that his skin had returned to its usual shade by the time they were invited into the staging area.

There were various cameras surrounding the room, a couch large enough for the four of them to sit on and two chairs off to the side that were already occupied by the hosts. Giulia and Giuseppe Giordano were some of the most well-known interviewers in the world. This was a big moment for them as a band, announcing their next album on a widely acclaimed talk show.

The studio audience cheered and clapped, shouting their names as they filed onto the stage, Charlie’s heart thrumming with nerves and anticipation in his chest — he plonked himself down onto the couch between Sahar and Aleena, Jay on Aleena’s other side. He had never felt entirely confident when it came to interviews, always worried about slipping up on his words or saying the wrong thing. The others had always insisted that he did a lot better than he thought, but this interview had the added pressure of being live, a hundred people in the room and the whole world watching.

His mind still buzzed of Nick as the hour progressed, thoughts jumping between the slew of questions and the man who was waiting for him back at the hotel, watching the interview on the TV like he said he would. Charlie could picture him so clearly, bundled up in his souvenir hoodie, a giddy expression on his face and eyes so full of love. He smiled to himself, the thought of his boyfriend easing his mind slightly.

“You’ve got your UK shows coming up soon, I understand,” Giulia stated, leaning back in her chair and crossing one leg over the other. “You must be looking forward to those.”

“Yes, definitely!” Sahar answered happily. “It’s been amazing getting to visit other countries though, we love all of our international fans.”

“We’re hoping to go beyond Europe on our next tour,” Jay added.

“Speaking of your next tour,” Giuseppe said, clapping his hands together, “I’m sure you’ll have some new music by then.”

“Actually,” Aleena beamed, glancing at the rest of the band for approval before she continued, “our second album will officially be released early next year!”

The crowd erupted into applause, whistling and hooting at the news. Giulia and Giuseppe offered their congratulations, looking just as thrilled as everyone else in the room.

When the excitement finally settled down and they had discussed a few small details about their highly anticipated next album, Giuseppe turned his attention to Charlie, an inquisitive look on his face.

“Now, Charlie,” he began, “I’m sure you’re aware of these photos that have been spreading on social media, of you and another young man.”

Charlie nodded slowly, looking between the interviewers sceptically as he pulled the sleeves of his jumper over his hands in a wary manner.

“Can I ask,” he continued, “is this just a friend or perhaps a romantic partner?”

“Oh, um…” Charlie cleared his throat, taken aback by such a personal question. He hadn’t thought about the possibility of his love life being a point of discussion.

“That’s a bit off topic isn’t it?” Sahar interjected, noticing Charlie’s expression.

“You don’t have to answer that, Charlie,” Aleena whispered, placing a comforting hand on his back.

“Maybe we should just stick to questions about the band,” Jay said, somewhat awkwardly.

He appreciated them looking out for him, but he knew he needed to do this eventually. He and Nick had discussed it, they wanted the world to know. They’d told Nick’s colleagues and been seen in public together already, the photos spreading like wildfire across every social media platform. Millions of people either already knew or were actively piecing it together, what was seven billion more?

“No, it’s fine,” he whispered to his bandmates, giving them a reassuring nod.

They each smiled at him in understanding, letting him take charge. He turned back to the interviewers, sitting up straighter and taking a breath, willing his nervous energy to drift away.

“Nick’s my boyfriend,” he confirmed. A small smile tugged at his lips as he said the words.

Sounds of delight filled the room, the audience squealing and cooing their elation at the announcement.

“Excellent!” Giulia clapped her hands together. “And is this a new relationship?”

“Uh, no, actually,” Charlie answered with a shy laugh. “We’ve been together for about seven years, since I was fourteen.”

“Fourteen?” she exclaimed. “That’s very young, isn’t it!”

“So he’s been with you throughout your entire journey with fame,” Giuseppe commented, his eyes widening with interest. “And how has he been dealing with that aspect of your life? You’ve obviously kept him out of the spotlight until recently.”

“He’s been really supportive through it all,” Charlie told them easily, his voice more relaxed than it had been the entire day. “We’re working through this next chapter together.”

Nick had always been there for him, well before fame ever came into the mix, and he’d been there for Nick too. They were always there to comfort and encourage one another, even in ways as simple as holding hands or standing side-by-side.

“And the question I think most of our viewers would be interested in is,” Giulia began, leaning forward in her seat in anticipation, “are you and Nick in love?”

Charlie laughed lightly, his eyes twinkling, letting the words fall from his mouth. “I think we’ve gone beyond that, to be honest.”

“Care to explain that for us?” she asked, eager to hear his answer.

“Well, when you’ve been with someone for so long they kind of become…” he paused for a moment, mulling the words over in his head, “…almost an extension of yourself, I guess. He’s part of me. I don’t think I’d be able to survive without him if I’m being honest.”

It was something so personal that he had said, but in that moment he didn’t care. It was the truth, it was how he had always felt and he knew that Nick felt that way too. Talking about Nick came so easily to him — even in a crowded room, even when everyone’s focus was on him — the words pouring out of him effortlessly.

“So, you’re in love?” Giulia asked again, her eyes dancing as she awaited his answer.

“Yeah,” Charlie smiled, “we’re in love.”

His heart beat happily in his chest as he turned to find his friends all smiling at him proudly, Sahar tearing up beside him. Quiet sobs could be heard from various seats in the audience, whether from joy or the fact that Charlie Spring was a taken man.

“Nick came with you to Rome, I gather?” Giuseppe prodded further. “That or it was his lookalike backstage.”

“Uh, yeah,” Charlie said sheepishly. “He’s probably watching the interview right now, waiting for me in our hotel room.”

“Oh, I bet!” Giuseppe chuckled as if he’d been privy to an inside joke, someone whistled approvingly from amongst the audience.

Charlie blinked rapidly, furrowing his eyebrows as he thought over his own words. He hadn’t meant to insinuate anything, but Giuseppe certainly seemed to think he had. He went to open his mouth again, to clarify that he’d meant exactly what he’d said and nothing more, but it seemed the interview had ended during his mental dilemma. One moment he was sitting on the couch mulling over what he’d said, the next he was shaking hands with the Giordano twins and shuffling off the stage, being escorted out of the room behind his bandmates.

Sahar assured him that he hadn’t said anything wrong, that interviewers were always digging for something juicy one way or another in hopes of attracting a bigger reaction from their audience. Although he appreciated her words, waves of embarrassment continued to wash over him, his mind spinning as they departed the building.

He wished he had anticipated the questions about his love life sooner, that he’d had time to form answers that weren’t a direct insight into his feelings. It was the most important part of his life, he didn’t need the entire world to be a part of it too. But his heart took over when he started talking about Nick, he couldn’t help it, his mind was no longer in control.

“So…” Nick began with a shameless grin on his face when Charlie arrived back at the hotel that afternoon. “I’m part of you, am I?”

“Oh, shut up,” Charlie groaned, ducking away from Nick’s open arms. “It’s so embarrassing, I can't believe I said that on camera.”

“It’s okay,” Nick said, looping his arms around Charlie to pull him closer. “You’re part of me too.”

“Oh my god, Nick, stop. That’s so cringe.” Charlie laughed, attempting to wriggle free.

Nick held him steady as they swayed slightly in the middle of the room. He nuzzled into Charlie’s neck, refusing to let go.

“Did you hear what else I said?” he mumbled into Nick’s shoulder.

“About me waiting for you in this extravagant room of ours?” Nick asked, lifting his head from Charlie’s neck to look into his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“So what? We’re a couple, why wouldn’t we share a room? Did you forget the part where we live together?”

Charlie rolled his eyes. Of course, he hadn’t forgotten. They’d practically been living in each other’s bedrooms since they were teenagers. The moment they were able to have their own place they took it, neither one wanting to waste another minute being apart.

“Yeah, I know, but Giuseppe Giordano thought I was implying something when I wasn’t,” Charlie sighed. “The whole world will be talking about it soon. It’s none of their business.”

“Would it have been better if I'd stayed?” Nick asked genuinely, holding Charlie even closer.

“I don’t know,” he said truthfully. “I think you might’ve been even more distracting if you’d been sitting in the audience, to be honest.”

“Distracting? How am I distracting?” Nick asked, pulling back slightly to look his boyfriend in the eye.

“Telling me how hot you think I am, for starters.”

“I was just telling you the truth,” Nick chuckled. “What else?”

“The way you winked at me before you left earlier,” Charlie sighed heavily. “Just… You… In general. I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire interview. Everything about you is distracting to me.”

“Do you think I’m hot too?” Nick asked cheekily, stroking his hands up Charlie’s back.

“Mm, you’re alright,” Charlie joked, shrugging his shoulders and pretending not to be fussed as he pulled away.

Nick lunged forward, grasping at his boyfriend and earning a string of shrieks as he began to tickle him. Charlie fought back, swatting his hands about and wrestling Nick onto the bed. The assault of tickles ceased as they landed, both of them panting for breath as they lay in each other's arms.

A moment passed before Charlie turned to face Nick, finding that he was already gazing at him, a gentle smile on his face. The warm afternoon sun was cascading through the balcony window, dancing across his rosy cheeks and making his blonde hair glow.

“I think you’re kind of beautiful, actually,” Charlie said, voice just above a whisper, rescinding his previous teasing words.

Nick leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of Charlie's nose, a content hum escaping him. “I think you’re kind of beautiful too.”

They continued to lay there, just watching each other as the sun warmed them both, until Nick spoke again, breaking the silence that they’d created.

“You didn’t have to say anything about me,” he said softly. “You know that, right?”

“I know,” Charlie told him, placing a hand against Nick’s cheek. “But I wanted to. It felt right. Talking about you always feels right.”

It was the truth, every word. As much as it had embarrassed him to have said the things that he did on camera, he truly meant it. He didn’t plan on ever taking those words back.

“The whole world knows that we’re in love,” he uttered. “There’s no going back.”

“I can’t believe the Charlie Spring is in love with me!” Nick sighed dramatically, flipping onto his back to stare up at the ceiling, his eyes wide in wonder.

Charlie rolled his eyes and poked Nick’s cheek. “Believe it.”

“And he said that I’m part of him too!” he babbled on.

“You’re not gonna let that go, are you?” Charlie grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Nick grinned at him, wrapping him in his embrace once again. “Never.”

Chapter Text

He wished they’d all just get over it already, to stop making a fuss and not treat him differently. He understood why they did. How often was a colleague in a relationship with a famous rockstar? But it was really getting on his nerves.

They’d been extra pushy since Charlie’s live interview, where he had announced to the world that he and Nick were, in fact, in love. Of course, they’d already known for weeks prior — ever since Nick had told them and Charlie had shown up in the school’s staff room — but apparently it was much more exciting hearing the words from Charlie instead.

“It was so romantic!” Suzy sighed, her eyes wide in wonder. She practically floated through the teacher’s lounge the Monday after the interview, as if she’d gotten a boost of serotonin from the whole ordeal.  

“He spoke so eloquently.” Angelica swooned, slumping into a chair beside Nick. “I can’t believe he talked about you like that on the telly!”

“Be serious, Nick, how much did you bribe Charlie Spring to say that he’s in love with you?” Kyle barked out a laugh from across the room like it was the most ridiculous scenario he’d ever heard.

“Don’t listen to him!” Suzy shrieked, stumbling over and gripping at Nick’s arm. “Tell us how you fell in love!”

They wanted to know everything. Not a single question was off limits in their minds — Nick begged to differ. Some of their questions were more basic which, on occasion, he didn’t mind answering. Others he didn’t even want to repeat out loud when he eventually rehashed each day's events with Charlie.

“Just tell them to piss off,” Charlie said simply one night. He was stirring a pot of pasta, bolognese sauce bubbling away beside him.

“It’s not like they’ll listen to me.” Nick sighed, clunking his head onto the kitchen counter. “They keep acting like we’re best mates.”

They’d been sucking up to him for days, not being subtle at all in their endeavours to get on Nick’s good side. He knew what they were doing — they were doing it as a way to get closer to Charlie. It was very rare that they seemed genuine.

“Do you want me to have a word with them?” Charlie asked, pointing a tomato covered spatula in Nick’s direction.

Nick huffed a laugh, lifting his head to look at his boyfriend. “I appreciate the offer but I seriously doubt that would help.”

Charlie just shrugged and went back to his cooking. Nick watched him fondly, basking in the look of ease on his boyfriend's face as he went about his task. He was wearing a kiss the cook apron, one that Nick had initially bought as a joke but then decided to take the phrase quite literally, smothering Charlie in kisses whenever he donned the food splattered pinny.

This day was a little different though. With a whirlwind of thoughts spinning about in his head he only managed a small peck on the cheek before he had slumped heavily into his chair at the kitchen counter.

“Do you know how many invites I’ve received from my coworkers?” Nick said after a moment.

“A lot, I take it.” Charlie guessed, turning off the stove.

“I’ve lost count,” he groaned, rubbing at his temples to ease the ache in his head. “Dinners, drinks, trips — you name it! Hell, Kyle even invited us for Christmas!”

“Which one’s he again?” Charlie pondered, dishing up two bowls of food.

“The one with a cardboard cut out of you.” Nick reminded him with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh.” Charlie shuddered, pursing his lips as he walked around the kitchen island towards his boyfriend, bowls in hand. “Maybe not then.”

“Were you seriously considering it?!” Nick gaped at him, pulling a chair out so he could sit down.

“Well, I don’t know!” Charlie exclaimed. “Maybe he’s good at giving gifts!”

“I doubt it,” he replied. “Besides, anything we bring will probably be added to his Charlie Spring shrine!”

“He has one of those?” Charlie nearly choked on a mouthful, eyes widening in horror.

“I overheard him telling Stanley about it.” Nick grimaced.

Some of them were being far too relaxed for Nick’s liking, Kyle and Stanley in particular. It was obvious that they didn’t understand boundaries — or that they simply just didn’t care — too infatuated with the idea of Charlie to even attempt the basics of civility.

As much as it bothered him, he could deal with people sticking their noses into his personal life and weaselling their way into his vicinity. But a nook filled with all things to do with his boyfriend, a cardboard cut out and countless posters covering the walls, was something he felt he really didn’t need to know about — especially coming from a man who took the mickey out of Nick every chance he got.

“Oh, and Betty tried to bribe me with paid leave,” Nick continued, grumbling around his food. “In exchange for a ticket to one of your shows.”

“Betty?” Charlie wondered, furrowing his eyebrows at the unfamiliar name.

“Headmaster James.” Nick clarified.

“Really?” Charlie mused. He didn’t seem all that fussed. “Maybe you should take her up on it.”

“You think I should say yes?” he questioned, taken aback. He had kind of assumed a celebrity would be a little more shocked at the prospect, if he was being honest.

“Well, there’s worse things to be bribed with,” Charlie told him. “We get to spend time together and you’ll get paid for it!”

He had a point. If Nick was ever to succumb to a bribe then spending time with his boyfriend was a pretty good trade-off.

“I guess so…” Nick mumbled sceptically, poking at his pasta. “But what if everyone else starts bribing me, expecting me to say yes?”

“Just tell the headmaster to keep it on the down-low.” Charlie shrugged.

He could do that. But even so, with his colleagues' interest in Charlie at its peak it would certainly be the opportune time to use any incentives to his advantage. Their intrusive behaviour definitely wasn’t about to ease off any time soon, Nick knew that, but it made sense to utilise the notable bribes, like Betty’s, now rather than later — if he ever felt inclined.

“I suppose,” Nick said, mulling it over in his head before turning to look at Charlie with a small smile. “It would be nice to spend more time with you.”

“Yeah?” Charlie quipped. “Do you like me or something?”

Nick grinned, linking their fingers together on the countertop between them, both knowing it was far beyond the realms of like. “Just a little bit.”

He felt much more at ease when he arrived at work in the early hours of the next morning, opting to go straight to his classroom and get organised for the day ahead. The peace, however, was short lived as a pair of his colleagues barged into the room and interrupted his solitude.

“Sorry for being weird about your relationship with Charlie Spring,” Rochelle announced as she strolled towards him.

Suzy was standing behind her, bouncing on her feet and looking as though she was struggling to hold in her emotions.

“Um, yeah, thanks.” Nick eyed them suspiciously from where he sat at his desk.

“We just think it’s, like, really cool that you’re dating a celebrity.” Rochelle continued casually, examining her nails in what Nick assumed to be an attempt at looking unfazed.

“Yeah,” he said again, his voice slightly tense. He was unsure of what they wanted from him or what they wanted him to say. He had hoped that they’d just treat him like an equal — treat Charlie like an equal too, he was just a person like the rest of them after all — but apparently that was too much to ask.

They just stood there for a moment, neither one saying anything, though Nick could see the millions of questions and comments dancing in their eyes as they lingered in front of him.

“Well, if that’s all then…” he nudged, raising an eyebrow at them and gesturing to a pile of papers on his desk, hoping they’d take the hint.

Suzy’s eyes widened and her bottom lip jutted out in a pout as she realised that her presence was no longer welcome. Rochelle huffed in irritation at being booted from the room before she was ready, turning on her heel abruptly and marching out the door, the stomp of her feet rumbling through the floor.

“Bye Nick!” Suzy practically screamed as she followed after Rochelle, clearly an accident by the way she slapped a hand over her mouth which was then followed by a string of muffled grumbling.

He inhaled deeply, relaxing his mind in the temporary quiet. His students would be arriving soon enough, keeping him busy for the rest of the day. It was easy for him being around children, he enjoyed talking to them and revelling in their childish antics.

Nick had always been amazing with kids — from what his mum kept telling him, at least — his little cousins, Leo and Tillie, and Charlie's younger brother, Oliver, in particular. One day, he hoped to have some of his own. With Charlie, of course. Everything with Charlie.

He pictured them sometimes — what their kids could look like. Dark curls like Charlie’s or a blonde, floppy mess like his own. Maybe one of each, maybe more. They were far from ready for that stage in their lives, they were still young and had so much they wanted to do beforehand. But even so, their future together was something he liked to think about often.

“Mr. Nelson,” a girl named Inez called out nearing the end of the day, gaining his attention. She was sitting on the floor surrounded by all the other Year Five’s, watching him expectantly. “Is it true you’re married to a real rockstar?”

He paused, mid-scrawl on the whiteboard, taking in her hopeful face. “Where did you hear that?”

“My mummies told me,” she said proudly, sitting up straighter and placing her hands on her hips. “They said he’s really cool.”

“He is really cool.” Nick smiled, popping the cap of his marker back on and taking a seat in his chair by the board. “We’re not married yet, but hopefully one day.”

“When I get married, I'm gonna marry a rockstar too,” another girl, Ayla, announced with a smug look on her face. “She’ll have pink hair and a horse.”

“Aiming big, I see.” Nick chuckled.

A hand shot up into the air at the back of the room, waving about frantically.

“Yes, Iggy?” Nick encouraged, giving the nine-year-old freedom to speak.

“What’s your boyfriend’s name?” they asked, shuffling slightly closer and leaning forward expectantly. The other kids followed suit.

“His name is Charlie,” he answered happily. “He’s in a band called Queer Intentions.”

“I’ve heard of them!” Iggy gasped. Several other children shouted their agreement.

The room was humming with their chatter, their excitement radiating off the walls. They were in awe of the fact that their teacher was dating a famous drummer, one that many of them had seemingly heard of. Several of them told him repeatedly how cool he was, which had him rather chuffed. He liked the idea of being known as the cool teacher.

“Can we meet him?” one of the boys, Zack, pleaded. His eyes were wide and he looked as though he’d paused his breathing.

“No, you can’t meet him, celebrities aren’t real!” Another boy, Georgie, interrupted with a disapproving look on his face.

“I promise, he’s very real.” Nick assured them.

The next week, on Monday afternoon when the kids were all busy reading, there was a gentle knock at the door. One of Nick’s students, Inez, scrambled out of her seat and swung the door wide open. The sound of her hand slapping over her mouth echoed around the room, pulling the rest of the class out of their reading bubbles, small gasps emitting from each of them.

It was Charlie. He smiled kindly, waving at all the kids. Inez grabbed his other hand and practically yanked him into the classroom, soon relinquishing her grasp again and shoving him lightly in Nick’s direction.

Nick grinned from ear to ear as Charlie wandered towards him, weaving past the sea of children. He stood from his desk, wrapping his boyfriend in his embrace. Charlie was balancing on his tiptoes, his arms slung securely around Nick’s neck and his chin resting over his shoulder.

“Hi,” Charlie whispered into Nick’s ear.

“Hi,” Nick hummed back.

They melted into each other, relishing in the warmth of their hug as if they hadn’t seen each other mere hours ago.

Reluctantly Nick pulled away, clearing his throat as he turned back to his class. “Everyone, this is Charlie.”

A chorus of “ hi, Charlie” filled the room as they greeted him, their little faces beaming. A pair of the girls were squealing in their seats, others bouncing up and down with excitement.

Nick had told Charlie about their interest in meeting him, a real rockstar, to which he had enthusiastically agreed to come in for a visit.

“They were asking me all these questions,” he had said that first evening after telling his students all about his famous boyfriend. “It was different from when my coworker’s have asked, though. They were so excited and happy and curious, and they didn’t have any ulterior motives.”

“What did you tell them?” Charlie had asked, his smile gleaming as he watched Nick’s content face.

“I told them how we fell in love, how we met, that we were friends first,” Nick shared, his eyes glistening as he thought back to how they started. “They asked me how I realised I wanted to be with you as more than just friends.”

“Yeah? What did you say?” Charlie prodded again, shifting closer to Nick as he waited intently.

“I told them that I just always knew. From the moment I first saw you, I knew.”

That evening danced around in Nick’s mind as he stood in front of his students, Charlie by his side. It was refreshing introducing Charlie to people and for them to not act like crazy, obsessed fans for once. The kids were all genuinely interested and fascinated in meeting someone who they deemed so awesome, their faces all lit up and buzzing like it was Christmas morning.

Nick instructed them all to take a seat on the mat, the lot of them scurrying out of their chairs for the best spot. Charlie crouched to the floor too, getting down on their level and making the environment as comfortable and carefree as possible. They scooted closer to him, their eyes wide and waiting.

“Charlie?” Ayla asked, waving her hand above her head. “Are you in love with our teacher?”

“I am.” Charlie smiled, his soft eyes flicking to Nick who was still standing by his desk.

A bunch of kids giggled in response, looking both delighted and amused.

“I knew, as soon as I saw him, that I was done for.” He explained, echoing what Nick had told them days prior.

He recited stories about the band and about Nick too. They oohed and aahed, laughing at their teacher's expense when Charlie told them a funny story about the time he’d turned blue with ink, Nick’s cheeks tingeing red with embarrassment.

Nick couldn’t help but savour the moment that played out in front of his eyes. Charlie was so good with them, treating them like equals. He’d seen how Charlie was with Oliver, always so caring and attentive. They asked him questions about what it was like being famous and he answered them openly, feeding their curiosity.

Charlie would make an amazing dad, Nick thought to himself, watching how sweet and at ease he was with them. They hadn’t really talked about it in depth before, just little insignificant remarks here and there — not that they needed to rush into that conversation just yet, they had all the time in the world.

He didn’t know how often Charlie thought about it — if he even thought about it at all. Marriage and babies were probably the last things on his mind, what with how busy he was with fame and all. But the way they both felt about their relationship, how they wanted to spend their lives together, it seemed almost inevitable that they’d eventually get to that point.

Nick thought about it still as his students all packed up their belongings at the end of the day, saying their farewells to both him and Charlie with a series of high-fives. He thought about it when it was just the pair of them left in the classroom and again when they walked hand-in-hand to Nick’s car that was parked outside the school gates. His mind was still racing as he clicked his seat belt into place and pulled out into the road, Charlie sitting in the passenger seat beside him, having caught an Uber on the way in.

“You were really good with them today,” he told Charlie sweetly. “You’re really good with kids.”

“Well, when you have a little brother who’s eight years younger, you get good at it.” Charlie laughed lightly, tapping his fingers on the dashboard of the car in time with the quiet thrum of music that was emitting from the speakers.

“Do you ever think about it?” Nick asked, his eyes remaining focused on the road.

“Think about what?” Charlie wondered, furrowing his brows as he turned to look at Nick.

“Us… having kids one day.” He clarified, sneaking a quick glance at Charlie.

“Oh,” Charlie said, turning his head away again and fiddling with his fingers in his lap. “Yeah I think about that.”

“You do?”

He hadn’t meant to sound so shocked. His heart was racing away in his chest, rivalling the beat of the radio as his thoughts continued to swirl in his brain.

“Of course I do.” Charlie smiled at him. “When we’re a bit older. I don’t think I’m ready to be a dad just yet.”

“Oh, yeah, me neither.” Nick agreed hastily, awkwardly clearing his throat.

He could feel Charlie’s eyes on him, studying his demeanour. His knee started bouncing, only stopping when a hand slid over and patted it gently.

“Why are you acting so nervous?” Charlie sniggered, poking a finger into his boyfriend’s cheek.

“I-I’m not!” he said unconvincingly, gripping at the steering wheel.

“Yes, you are!” Charlie grinned at him, his hand still planted on Nick’s leg. “Did you think I was going to say no?”

“Well, I don’t know!” he exclaimed, his voice slightly higher than normal. “We haven’t exactly talked about it properly before.”

He could feel his boyfriend tracing patterns onto his leg, soothing him. They pulled up at the lights, and Nick carefully turned his gaze to look at Charlie. He was already looking at Nick, his blue eyes soft and loving.

“I want everything with you, Nick,” Charlie told him, reaching across with his unoccupied hand to squeeze Nick's fingers in his own. “Let’s just start with a dog, though, yeah?”

“A dog?” Nick repeated, as if he were trying to process the words.

“What, do you not want a dog?” Charlie snorted, already knowing the answer.

There were just a handful of things that Nick Nelson loved most in the world — the top of his list being Charlie, his mum, and his dogs. He had always loved animals and having one of their own, a dog that belonged to him and Charlie, was something he’d dreamt about for years.

“Of course, I want a dog!” Nick gasped, a wide smile forming on his lips.

“Good.” Charlie nodded in satisfaction. “Do you think you can wait a bit until I’m done with the tour?”

“That’s a hard ask, Char,” Nick sighed dramatically, though he couldn’t keep the joy off his face for long. “You know I’ve had puppy fever for years.”

Charlie matched Nick’s smile, releasing his hold on Nick’s hand as the traffic light turned from red to green.

“I know,” he said. “Me too.”

Chapter Text

Nick just wanted to have a nice day, but apparently that was too much to ask. People were recognising him now, having seen all the photos with Charlie, stopping him in the street and outside the school gates.

He was exhausted, if he was being honest. Exhausted from all the attention he’d been getting over the last few months. He didn’t know how Charlie could put up with it, he’d been getting far more attention for a far greater time.

Sometimes he didn’t mind it, even rather enjoyed it. Being able to be so open about his relationship with Charlie was one of the best things ever, he loved that they could just be them without trying to be subtle about it. But sometimes he wished no one knew.

He was a nobody. Just a rugby lad turned school teacher who happened to be dating one of the most famous young men in the world. Evidently that warranted a bit of scrutiny from the fans, no matter how insignificant he deemed himself to be.

Charlie was out of town with the band, the beginning of their UK tour under way, and Nick was doing anything he could to keep busy and distract his brain from the fact that his boyfriend wasn’t waiting for him at home. He hated the distance between them, hated that they had to spend time apart when all either of them wanted was to be wrapped in each other's arms.

He was wandering around a small market in town, Tara Jones by his side, the pair of them winding their way between each of the stalls. It was always relaxing being with his best friend, a good way to pull him out of his incessant moping, the two of them laughing about silly things and chatting about whatever came to mind — even if he was currently struggling to do so.

They did this often, a little outing to look at all the local foods and trinkets that lined the park. Sometimes Charlie went with them, Darcy too, but this day was just the two of them.

“You need to stop sulking, Nick,” Tara told him, linking their arms together tightly.

“I know,” he sighed, his head tilted back as he gazed up at the clouds looking forlorn. “I just miss him.”

“You talk on the phone every night, don’t you?” She raised a quizzical eyebrow at him.

“And in the mornings…” he added, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. “And whenever we both have a break.”

She gave him a knowing look, clearly a little amused. “So, why do you look so miserable?”

“I’m allowed to be miserable, my boyfriend left me.” He pouted dramatically.

“He didn’t leave you!” Tara laughed. “He’s on tour!”

“Same difference.”

“You’re so unbearably in love, Nick.” Tara grinned at her best friend, peering up at him with a cheeky glint in her eye. “When are the two of you gonna tie the knot?”

Nick faltered, his eyes going wide, he hadn’t expected her to bring that up. He had always been so open about his love for Charlie, never being one to hide how deep those feelings went, especially around their friends. But marriage was a big step, one he’d only spoken to Charlie about offhandedly, as if discussing their weekend plans. It was something they both knew they wanted — eventually — when life wasn’t so hectic or they simply couldn’t go another second without being husbands.

Husbands. He liked the sound of that. If he were being honest, he’d marry Charlie that very second if he could.

“I-I don’t know,” he sputtered nervously. “I want to, like, I really want to. We’ve just been—”

“Busy.” Tara cut in. “I know. I just can’t believe Darcy and I got married before you did. We all thought it would be you two. Safe to say none of us won that bet.”

“You were betting on Charlie and I getting married first?” Nick gasped, astounded.

“Have you not seen yourselves?” Tara defended herself. “Besides, it was Elle’s idea!”

She had a point. He knew they weren’t the most ordinary couple — whatever ordinary meant, anyway — that was especially obvious when they were still teenagers. They spent nearly every day together, preferring to be with each other, even if it just meant sitting quietly in one of their bedrooms. They didn’t need anything else.

Even now, with careers, a house and a future ahead of them, Nick struggled with the time they spent apart. He wanted to see Charlie every day and every night, this year and the next, over and over again until they were old and grey and had spent an entire lifetime together.

He could feel the corners of his lips tugging into a smile and a blush creeping onto his cheeks, the giddiness from his thoughts going straight to his head. He didn’t even want to imagine how sickeningly love-struck he looked as Tara watched him with a knowing amusement etched onto her face.

“So…” Tara continued, beaming up at him. “You do want to get married?”

“Of course I do,” Nick exclaimed breathlessly. “It’s Charlie.”

Tara squealed loudly, gripping at his arm even tighter as she bounced up and down with excitement.

“I’m not engaged yet, Tara!” Nick laughed. “Give me a chance, we don’t even know if Charlie will say yes.”

“Oh, he’s definitely saying yes!” she declared, tugging him along beside her as they began walking through the market once again. “Now, come on, we still have to find those cupcakes you like so much!”

The first time he’d had one of the market cupcakes was with Charlie. They’d shared it, not knowing if it’d be worth it to get two — it was worth it, of course, Nick continued to get them each and every time he went. 

Charlie had gotten the second bite, after Nick insisted that it was one of the best things he’d ever tasted, buttercream icing smeared across his nose. Nick had wiped it away with his thumb, smiling at his boyfriend sweetly as he did so.

He’d wanted to kiss him so badly that day, but the crowd was buzzing and it was only a matter of time before someone noticed that a member of Queer Intentions was amongst them, sharing a prettily decorated cupcake with his lover. Granted, he had been dressed in one of Nick’s sweatshirts with the hood over his head as his disguise, but just to be on the safe side they waited until they were in the confines of their own home before finally kissing each other as if it were the only air they could breathe.

The cupcakes that he and Tara had bought were as delicious as any other day, if not slightly less so, simply because Charlie wasn’t there to share them with. They each got two — Tara getting one for Darcy, and Nick getting a second for himself as an extra treat.

Just as they were settling down onto a picnic bench, half eaten cupcakes in hand, a flash of light caught Nick’s eye. A few more flashes went off, drawing his attention to the not-so-subtly hidden man that was furiously clicking his camera from behind one of the market stalls.

It was obvious to Nick that he was the focal point, the man wasn’t shifting the gaze of his camera an inch away from him for even a second. He should have anticipated this, should have thought about how people might recognise him, even amongst the crowd.

He looked around, at the busy sea of market-goers and the other picnic benches that sat nearby. A group of teenagers were whispering between themselves, but their eyes were on Nick. How long had they been watching him?

One of them lifted her phone up, pointing it towards Nick, camera at the ready. He didn’t need to see a flash to know what was happening.

He groaned to himself, exhaling deeply through his nose and closing his eyes in annoyance.

“What’s wrong?” Tara asked, slight concern in her voice. She must’ve noticed his agitation, pausing her eating and placing a comforting hand on his arm.

“They’re taking photos of me,” Nick muttered, tilting his head subtly in the directions of each of the offending cameras. 

He felt his body tense, the air of ease drifting away from him. It was one thing for them to be taking photos of Charlie, that was almost to be expected — not that he particularly fancied being in the midst of that either — but Nick was just trying to enjoy a day with his friend. He didn’t want to be wrapped up in all the attention and curiosity that they kept barraging him with.

He knew why they did it. They wanted to know anything and everything about Charlie’s relationship that he’d kept private for the last several years. But this was exactly why they’d kept it hidden in the first place, to keep the nosy onlookers out of their business, so they could just be them.

“We can leave, if you like,” Tara offered, standing from the picnic bench and brushing down her skirt, readying herself for their departure.

Nick just nodded as he got to his feet, picking up his cupcake box and placing his half-eaten one inside next to the other.

Tara was almost jogging to keep up with Nick’s long strides as they left the market. He was in a hurry, a bit perturbed by being watched so closely.

“I’m so sorry about all that,” Nick sighed as they approached his car.

“Nick, it’s fine,” she assured him, waving off his apologies. “You still up for coming to movie night tomorrow? Darcy’s picked out, like, fifty for us to choose from.”

“Yeah, definitely!” He smiled, letting his worries dissipate.

He’d been looking forward to it all week, wanting to relax in the comforting and occasionally chaotic company of his friends. Movie nights were a regularity, much like the market — sometimes it included all of them, other times it was just a few, but it was always the best fun when they were together.

Late in the afternoon, he was baking shortbread biscuits in preparation for Sunday night — his mum's recipe, one he’d indulged in countless times as a kid — when his phone began incessantly buzzing. 

Wiping his hands off on his apron, he plucked his phone up from where it sat at the edge of the kitchen bench. There were at least a dozen emails waiting for him, all from his colleagues, more and more coming in as the seconds passed.

He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what they could possibly want. He hadn’t missed a meeting had he? Or was this, perhaps, another attempt at scoring tickets to one of Charlie’s shows? He thought they’d calmed down about that, figuring out that sucking up to him was getting them nowhere.

His face screwed up in confusion as he read them. None of the emails were making any sense. Each was filled with strings of cursing and demands to know how he could have done what he did.

What had he done, exactly? They weren’t being very forthcoming with their obvious anger. Had he used the last teabag or something insignificant like that?

He wondered if it was to do with the day Charlie had come into school to visit Nick’s students. It hadn’t taken his colleagues long to find out about that, each of them visibly upset that they hadn’t been invited along. Surely if they were going to have a go at him for that, they’d have done it already.

The most recent email caught his attention. “Who is she?” it read.

“Who is who?” Nick mumbled to himself, his mind puzzled.

What were they even talking about? If they were going to insist on asking stupid questions, the least they could do was elaborate.

He shook his head in annoyance. First the watchful people at the market, now this.

Plonking his phone back down, a little harder than he had intended, he went back to his abandoned biscuit dough in the hopes it would alleviate his growing irritation. Taking a deep breath he began stirring the mixture again, letting the repetitive motion calm his mind.

The phone buzzed again, jolting him out of his reverie. His grip tightened around the wooden spoon, threatening to splinter it. He stirred faster, his movements rapidly becoming more and more aggressive with each whirr of the device.

He was finding it difficult to ignore, the sound piercing at his head and making it ache. The hairs on his arms stood on end as his nerves sparked with the aggravation. He felt as though he was about to catch on fire, the tension in the air almost tangible.

The phone kept on buzzing, the vibrations so constant that it was slowly moving across the countertop. He watched it intently, hand still gripping at the spoon, willing it to tip over the edge and shatter across the floor. Maybe then the buzzing would stop.

“Argh, fuck it!” he exclaimed in frustration, dropping the spoon into the bowl of overworked dough and charging over to his phone.

He couldn’t take it anymore. His heart was beating fast in his chest as he picked it up, the damn thing still vibrating in his hands. Missed calls and texts filled his notifications — friends and family and people he hadn’t spoken to in years trying to contact him.

He opened the most recent one, a text from Sai Verma.

“Thought you should probably see this,” he’d sent, an article link attached.

He hesitated for a moment before clicking the link, holding his breath as the page loaded. He felt his stomach drop as he read the headline, an ill feeling washing over him.

Charlie Spring’s boyfriend caught cheating.

Nick’s whole body was shaking, he wanted to throw up.

How could anyone say that? He hadn’t cheated. He would never cheat. He couldn’t do that to Charlie.

Skimming through the article, his mind unable to focus on any of the words, he stopped on a series of photos — pictures of him and Tara from earlier that day. He furrowed his eyebrows, his forehead creasing. They thought he’d been cheating on Charlie with Tara?

Anger bubbled in the pit of his stomach. All he had wanted was to spend a nice day with his best friend, but now it was ruined. Everything was ruined.

If the texts and emails he'd received were causing his stomach to churn, social media was even worse. People were tagging him in anything and everything. His newsfeeds were filled from top to bottom with pictures of himself and Tara, both new and old. They’d done extensive digging, dragging up old photos that featured the band, wherever the pair could be seen in the background.

They were blowing things well out of proportion, Tara was just his friend. His married, lesbian friend. Was he not allowed to have friends anymore? They didn’t know him, not really, and they certainly didn’t know Tara. Of course they would be in pictures with the band, they’d all been friends for years, only growing closer with time.

The rumours had spread fast, not helped by the fact that everyone knew Charlie was out of town. They claimed that Nick had been cheating for years, that he’d planned it. They said he was bored and lonely, and wanted to get off with someone else. None of it was true, how could anyone believe that it was true?

Had they not seen how devoted Nick was to Charlie? How completely and utterly in love he was? He would do anything for Charlie, anything at all. He wanted to marry him, to grow old with him. How was that not obvious in the way he followed after him, his eyes never straying far from the boy he’d fallen for all those years ago?

Their house felt so cold and empty when he was alone, all the warmth being sucked away into an abyss of darkness as his feet carried him through the hallways and to their bedroom. He wished Charlie could just come back, wrap him in his arms and chase the gloom away.

Charlie. He needed to talk to Charlie.

His hand shook uncontrollably as he lifted the phone to his ear, awaiting his boyfriend's voice to fill the space around him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

He waited and waited, until the melodic ring faded into silence. No answer. He tried again, still nothing.

Why wasn’t he answering? Charlie always answered.

Nick swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat, his palms clammy. He sat down on top of his and Charlie’s bed, bringing his knees up to his chest as he curled in on himself. Why couldn’t Charlie just answer the call?

He lifted his phone to his ear again, this time in the hopes that Tara would answer instead, sinking further into the pillows that rested behind him.

“Hi!” Tara answered, her voice light and cheery as usual.

“I don’t know what to do,” Nick trembled out, his lips fumbling over his words. “What should I do?”

“Nick?” She sounded worried, confusion laced through her voice. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“The photos—” he gasped out, feeling his chest constricting. “The photos from this morning, they’re everywhere. I don’t know what to do.”

“Is that bad?” she wondered. “You were only eating a cupcake.”

“They’re all of me and you,” he whimpered. “The whole world thinks I’m cheating on Charlie.”

There was silence on her end as she took in what he was saying, no doubt doing some digging of her own to see with her own eyes what had him in such torment.

“Oh, Nick…” she said softly, her voice apologetic.

“Charlie won’t answer my calls,” he uttered sorrowfully. He could feel his eyes stinging, his head pounding with the ache that just kept getting stronger.

“I’m so sorry.” Tara sighed, dejected. “I wish I knew how to fix this.”

He supposed there wasn’t a whole lot that she could do, Tara alone wouldn’t be able to sway the entire world's opinions on Nick, though he wished more than anything that it could be done.

“It will all be okay, Nick. I promise.”

It was the last thing Tara had said before they hung up. Alone with his own thoughts again he let the tears fall that had been threatening to escape, cascading down his cheeks and pooling onto the tops of his knees that he still hugged to his chest. He felt helpless, like a little kid, just wanting someone to hold him and make everything go away.

Several more times Nick tried to phone Charlie, silence each and every time until finally, after the sun had gone down, he answered.

“Hey!” Charlie's sweet voice rang through the phone, loving and carefree as always.

Nick’s eyes widened and his heart thrummed rapidly in his chest at the sound of his boyfriend. He answered. He finally answered.

“Where have you been?!” Nick cried out, letting the words rush from his mouth.

“Nick?” Charlie asked, sensing his distress. “What’s happened?”

“You ignored my calls, you’ve never ignored my calls!” The words came out panicked, his body shaking uncontrollably as unwanted thoughts hurtled around inside his head.

“Nick, slow down, what happened?” Charlie repeated, sounding a little unsteady as he tried to quell the worry that had crept into his voice.

Nick didn’t want to tell him. Maybe if he didn’t tell him, he would wake up and find that it had all been a dream. But he knew it wasn’t a dream. It was real. It was happening.

He told Charlie everything — from the morning with Tara to the rumours that had spread like wildfire. He fumbled over his words, stuttering every so often. He hated that it had affected him in such a way, hated that he couldn’t see Charlie’s face as he let it all out. Or maybe it was better that he couldn’t see his face at all.

“I know you wouldn’t cheat on me Nick,” Charlie assured him. “They’re just making up lies for their own entertainment. I know you wouldn’t.”

Nick hoped that the reassurance would calm him. It did, but only slightly. He needed to hear Charlie say those words, to tell him that he knew him. Charlie knew Nick better than anyone. But his rage and frustration still simmered beneath the surface, and the stress was all too much.

“Is this what’s gonna happen every time I hang out with a friend? I can’t fucking handle that Charlie!” Nick snapped, his words coming out harsh, unable to hold them back. 

He had stood up from the bed, pacing around the room, phone still clutched in his grasp. His breathing was heavy and his vexed mind was clouding over with a haze.

“Maybe this whole thing was a mistake,” Charlie whispered after a moment, so quiet that Nick almost missed it. Almost.

The words echoed in his head, the only thing he could hear. A mistake. If the room blew up around him he wouldn’t have known. He felt as though his world was being torn down and there was nothing he could do to stop it. His pretty face was wrecked by anguish, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

His heart seized, a crushing pain jolting through his body as he crumpled in on himself. His legs shook beneath him, barely holding him up as he fell back against the edge of the bed and collapsed to the floor. He heaved a shaky breath, sharp and piercing as it spread through him.

His mind jumped from one thing to another, horrible thoughts filling his head. They had been talking about the possibility of kids and puppies just a few weeks ago. He’d been thinking about marriage that very morning. They lived together, were meant to spend the rest of their lives together — had he been wrong about all of it?

“I want everything with you,” Charlie had told him a few weeks back. Maybe it wasn’t true anymore.

He could hear Charlie repeating the words “this was a mistake” over and over again, overpowering everything else. He couldn’t tell whether it was really Charlie saying it, still talking through the phone, or if it was just a voice inside his own head. 

The tears broke free again, spilling over the edge. A strangled cry left his throat as his body was wracked with sobs, the overwhelming pain taking a hold of him.

Charlie’s voice broke through over the phone, equally as pained. “Why are you crying?”

His whole being fought against the phrase that clawed out past his lips, he didn’t want to speak it into existence, never wanted it to come true. But he said it anyway, his affliction forcing it out.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Nick wept, his own words twisting in his gut.

“What? Nick—”

“You said it yourself,” he choked out, pressing the phone into his tear-stained cheek, “this was a mistake.”

“Nick,” Charlie said sadly. “Why would I break up with you? I love you.”

He paused to take in what Charlie was telling him, sniffling back his sobs. His head was spinning, contradicting thoughts and phrases rattling his mind.

“W-what?” Nick stammered.

“I don’t want to break up with you.” He reiterated it unwaveringly, sounding so sure of himself.

“But you said—”

“That’s not what I meant,” Charlie gently interrupted him. “I meant the fame — everything that comes with it. Maybe it was a mistake.”

“But you love being in a band,” he whimpered, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I do,” Charlie agreed quietly. “But I never wanted you to suffer because of it.”

Nick ran a shaky hand through his hair, brushing it away from his face. 

“So… You don’t want to break up?” He gulped, his words hesitant.

Charlie didn’t miss a second with his answer, speaking his own words as if it was the easiest thing he’d ever have to say. They fell from him effortlessly and with earnest, a vow to Nick’s ears.

“I never want to break up.”

Nick breathed a sigh of relief, the tremors that shook his body slowly ebbing away.

“Good,” he said, his eyelids fluttering slightly with fatigue. “Me neither.”

“I’m sorry I didn't answer my phone sooner,” Charlie told him, his tone full of guilt.

“No, don’t apologise,” Nick scolded lightly, shaking his head disapprovingly even though Charlie couldn’t see him. “I know you were probably with the band. I was just being stupid.”

“You weren’t being stupid,” Charlie promised him. “I get it.”

Hauling himself off the floor, Nick crawled up onto the bed, lying on his side as he pressed his face into Charlie's pillow. He inhaled deeply, letting a calm wash over him, the plague of his stress dissipating somewhat.

“I really wish I could see you right now,” Nick said softly, his voice just above a whisper. “I miss you when you’re gone.”

“I know,” Charlie told him. “I miss you too.”

They stayed on the phone a little while longer, the sound of Charlie's voice lulling Nick to sleep as he recounted his own day spent with the band, affirmations of love for his boyfriend weaved throughout.

Nick was bundled up in the blankets, clinging to Charlie’s pillow as he slept. An unwanted misery was still written across his face, unable to wholly let go of Saturday’s events, mingled with the exhaustion that had overcome his entire being.

He stirred slightly at the sound of footsteps entering the bedroom. If it was an intruder then there was nothing he could do about it — he couldn’t bring himself to move, the weight of his emotions pinning him down. His eyelids felt heavy as he struggled to open them, blinking in the morning light.

A figure walked in front of him, blocking the sun rays that broke through a gap in the curtains, crouching down beside the bed near Nick’s head.

Charlie. It was Charlie.

Nick’s heart stuttered, skipping over a beat as he took in the boy in front of him.

“Hi,” Charlie said softly, a sad smile on his lips.

He reached out a hand, stroking it against Nick’s cheek and wiping away the remnants of tears from the night before. Nick leaned further into Charlie’s touch, seeking the comfort and connection that he’d so desperately yearned for. He was there, he was real.

Nick sat up, pulling the duvet with him as he flung himself into his boyfriend’s arms. Charlie held onto him tightly, still knelt on the floor, hands slipping beneath the blanket to pull their bodies even closer. He breathed in Charlie's scent, letting the familiarity of it settle him.

“Hi,” Nick whispered back hoarsely, his face pressed against Charlie’s neck as he clung to him.

He twisted the cosy fabric of Charlie’s jumper between his fingers, Charlie’s own hands rubbing small circles into his back. They just held each other, neither one wanting to let go first, revelling in the warmth and comfort that surrounded them.

“What are you doing here?” Nick asked as he pulled his head back to look at Charlie, their faces mere inches apart. “What about the band? The tour?”

“You said you wanted to see me,” Charlie told him as though it were the most reasonable explanation. Perhaps it was. “I wanted to see you too. The band can do without me for a few days, it’s fine, I promise.”

They stayed there the rest of the morning, Charlie having climbed into bed beside Nick, the both of them dozing off every now and again.

“Shall I make some tea?” Charlie mumbled into Nick’s hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I saw the cupcakes in the kitchen, should we have those as well?”

Nick hummed in agreement but stayed put, his arms wrapping even tighter around Charlie’s waist, not letting him go. His head lay across Charlie’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart, their legs tangled together.

“Do you think we should’ve kept it a secret?” he asked quietly after a moment, eyes downcast.

“What do you mean?” Charlie wondered, brushing a hand lazily down Nick’s side and settling on his hip.

“Us,” Nick amended. “Do you think we should’ve kept us a secret?”

“Do you?” Charlie asked back.

He mulled it over in his head. He hadn’t told Charlie all of what he’d been feeling, not the full extent of it at least. He knew he should’ve told him already, they’d talked about what it would be like announcing their relationship to the world prior to actually doing it, and they’d even spoken on several occasions about Nick’s infuriating colleagues. He knew that it could take some time, knew that it could be difficult — he just hadn’t imagined it like this.

“Sometimes,” Nick admitted. “It's really hard having everyone know me, to be constantly watching me and judging my every move just because I'm dating you.”

He could hear the faint rustle of Charlie nodding his head against the pillow, not uttering a word to allow Nick space to say what needed to be said.

“But at the same time,” he continued, “I also love everyone knowing about us, to know that I'm the one you come home to.”

“I love that too.” Charlie agreed contentedly.

“I don’t want it to be a secret just because I'm scared.” He exhaled deeply, his voice shaking a little. “But I also don't want people prying into our life and making up rumours about me all the time. It’s not easy.”

Charlie’s hand reached towards Nick’s chin, tilting his head up so that their eyes met. He held so much understanding in those blue eyes of his, they were gentle and loving, peering into Nick’s as though he was baring his very soul.

“I found it hard at the start too, remember?” Charlie said softly. “I know it’s not exactly the same, but it gets easier. It will get easier.”

Nick sighed, he knew it was probably true. It would get easier. It would get easier because they were together, going through it all by each other’s side. But that didn’t make all the hard parts magically disappear.

“Everyone wants you,” he murmured, his lips wobbling sorrowfully.

“No, they don’t.” Charlie objected, shaking his head.

“They do,” Nick stated again. “They all want you, and they’re trying to pin things on me, ridiculing me, making it seem like I’ve committed a crime because I want you too.”

Charlie leant down and placed a gentle kiss to Nick’s lips, his hand resting carefully against his cheek. “You have me.”

He’d said it with so much love, so much force, that Nick’s heart ached inside his chest. They belonged to each other, the way the stars belonged to the sky, nothing and nobody could get in the way of that.

Nick shifted closer to Charlie, if that was even possible, smooshing into his side and gripping at his mess of a jumper that had twisted in all directions from laying in bed. He knew he was being clingy, but he didn’t want to let go.

“Never leave me, okay?” He spoke the words quietly, his vulnerability at its peak.

“I’ll have to use the bathroom eventually, you know?” Charlie quipped lightly, a small laugh escaping his lips.

“You know that's not what I meant.” Nick grumbled, scrunching his eyes shut as he pouted his lips.

Charlie’s hand found Nick’s, lifting it away from his jumper and interlacing their fingers, holding them together beside Nick’s sullen face.

“I’ll never leave you, I promise,” Charlie vowed. “You won’t either, right?”

“Never.”

When Charlie eventually stood from the bed to make them some tea and something to eat, Nick went with him, his arms wrapped securely around Charlie’s middle. He wasn’t ready to let go yet, didn’t want them to be separated by even a few walls, apparently taking the ‘never leaving each other’ thing more seriously than either of them had thought.

“Ugh, Nick, you’re so heavy!” Charlie heaved out, struggling his way down the hallway with Nick draped over his back. “You’re not gonna come with me when I eventually go to the loo, are you?”

“I might,” Nick mumbled as he stumbled behind him, occasionally knocking their feet together and threatening to topple them both over.

He didn’t need to see Charlie’s face to know he was rolling his eyes. But as much as Charlie protested, he never once tried to extricate himself from Nick’s grasp, lugging his boyfriend around the house with him wherever he went.

“What were you planning to do with this?” Charlie asked, gesturing to the rock-like dough that still sat in the mixing bowl on the kitchen bench.

“It was supposed to be shortbread,” Nick informed him, resting his chin on top of Charlie’s shoulder. “I was gonna take it to Tara and Darcy’s tonight.”

“Movie night?” Charlie guessed.

“Yeah,” he confirmed with a sigh. “Not sure if I’ll go now.”

“Why not?” Charlie pushed lightly. “You love movie night.” 

That was true, he did love movie night, he'd been so looking forward to it as well. He had told Tara that he’d be there, though he figured she would be understanding if he decided to stay home.

“Will you come with me?” Nick asked, almost pleadingly.

“Of course I’ll come,” Charlie agreed, before his tone turned teasing. “I’m kind of attached to you right now anyway.”

Nick stuck his tongue out, leaning even more of his weight on Charlie in retaliation which in turn caused them to sink towards the ground. Charlie laughed which made Nick laugh, the pair of them lying in a giggling mess on the kitchen floor.

They drove to Tara and Darcy’s house that evening, Nick’s hands fidgeting in his lap as he fought hard to keep to himself. Charlie was driving, wanting to make sure that someone’s hands were actually on the steering wheel. As soon as they stepped out of the car, Nick was hovering over Charlie again, twisting their arms together and intertwining their fingers.

“Charlie, what are you doing here?!” Tara exclaimed as she opened the door, pulling him into a hug before turning to Nick and wrapping her arms around him extra tightly. “How are you feeling, Nick? Are you okay?”

“I feel a bit shit,” he told her honestly, flicking a glance at Charlie. “Better, now that he’s here.”

“I got a few days off,” Charlie explained, rubbing comfortingly at Nick’s forearm with his free hand. “Thought I’d spend it with him.” 

Tara smiled at the pair warmly, ushering them both inside the flat.

“Nick! Charlie!” Darcy called out, bounding through the lounge and hauling them both into the room. She wound an arm over Nick’s shoulders, grinning at him mischievously. “My wife’s been making moves on you, I hear.”

He smiled at that. Actually smiled, despite still feeling a little unnerved by the whole thing. Darcy always knew how to make light of a situation, poking fun and cracking jokes, even at something that had caused him a great deal of grief just the night before.

Tara playfully smacked Darcy on the arm as she walked past, rolling her eyes as she settled down on the couch, the others following suit.

They chatted a bit about what had unfolded, each of them with their own aggravation towards the fans and news industries that had spread the lies. Nick was still slightly glum as they talked it over, his emotions sitting just beneath the surface. It was nice being in his friends presence, that they could talk about what had transpired — it helped to relax and ease his mind.

“Guys, there’s an obvious way to solve this,” Darcy announced, plonking herself down on the arm of the couch beside Tara, big bowl of popcorn in hand.

They all watched her, waiting, eyebrows raised suspiciously as they anticipated what she might say.

“Just make a post about it,” she said with a shrug, like it was the most obvious solution.

Nick pursed his lips, why hadn’t he thought of that? Charlie and Tara held the same expression on their faces.

“A photo or something!” Darcy elaborated loudly, jostling the popcorn that she still held. “You two making out on one side of the couch, Tara and I making out on the other!”

Tara snorted. “What, and have them start a new rumour that we’re in a four-way relationship or something?”

Nick’s face reddened severely, his eyes blown wide. Charlie choked on his drink, the liquid bursting out his nose as he startled at the thought. Darcy cackled with laughter at the sight of them both and the scenario that no doubt played out in her head, more popcorn jumping out of the bowl and into Tara’s lap.

“A photo could work,” Charlie wheezed out, his eyes brimming with tears as he held his nose between his fingers. “Maybe without the making out though.”

They did just that — a photo, not making out — messing about with Charlie’s phone and taking a series of pictures, the four of them squeezing into the frame. Charlie selected the best one, creating a new post on his public Instagram account and captioning it ‘couples movie night x’.

If that didn’t get the message across then Nick didn’t know what would.

Within minutes the post reached one million likes, more and more coming in as the seconds passed. Tara and Darcy sat silent as they watched the numbers go up, their faces conveying looks of shock.

“Damn, Charlie!” Darcy gasped as she leant over the back of the couch between the boys. “You really are famous!”

“What, did you think he was lying all this time?” Tara barked out a laugh from where she sat on Charlie’s other side.

“How many followers do you even have now?” Darcy interrogated him, raising her eyebrows as she awaited his answer.

Charlie looked a bit sheepish, like he didn’t want to say, his cheeks tingeing slightly. “About two hundred million…”

Darcy lunged forward, snatching the phone from Charlie's hands and began tapping away at the screen.

“Two hundred my arse!” she shouted. “You have nearly three hundred million!”

They spent the rest of the evening watching movies like they had planned, occasionally chatting and laughing about whatever came to mind, their night one of the most enjoyable they’d had in a while despite the mess of a weekend.

Nick pulled the photo up on his phone later that night as they lay in bed, Charlie fast asleep by his side. Shallow breaths escaped past his lips, a content look on his tired face as he rested his head on Nick’s shoulder.

Tara and Darcy were sitting on the floor in the foreground of the picture, Darcy’s lips pressed to Tara’s cheek, both of them smiling widely. Nick sat on the couch above them, Charlie on his lap, holding him close as they snuggled into each other, their arms firmly wrapped together across Charlie’s stomach.

Nick was watching Charlie as the camera had flashed, his soft and loving gaze caught in a little moment, frozen in time. His lips had tugged into a sweet smile, in a way that only his boyfriend could bring about. Charlie looked so comfortable, bundled up in a sweatshirt that he’d stolen from Nick’s drawer, his hands keeping Nick’s in place like he didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“I only want to be wherever you are,” Charlie had told him as they headed home from their friends’ house earlier that evening.

He knew it was true. It was true in the way that Charlie had let Nick cling to him the entire day, in the way that he looked at Nick like he was the only thing worth looking at. He had come running back home, from the other side of the country, to be by his boyfriend’s side when things had gotten too much.

Nick’s heart thrummed in his chest in a rhythm only made for Charlie, a warm feeling spreading throughout his body. This was all he needed — Charlie by his side, wrapped in his arms. It didn’t matter what anyone said about him, what names they called him or what rumours they spread, it would all be worth it in the end to be with Charlie.

Everything was worth it to be with Charlie.

Chapter Text

All eyes were on him, watching his every move as if he was the famous one. He wouldn’t have expected his own friends to look at him with such awe and envy, but they did. 

Nick hadn’t played a game of rugby with his mates since he and Charlie had decided to announce their relationship to the world. He’d been too preoccupied with work and the added stress of nosy colleagues and fans to put a sport into the mix. But he’d missed it, and all of his rugby friends.

It was a recreational team, one that he and his friends had formed themselves, a mix of guys that Nick knew from Truham Grammar and the University of Leeds. It was a very casual game they played, something they wanted to do for fun, which is why he felt he could turn up again after a couple months of not showing his face at all.

Making his way across the field, he could feel everyone's gazes locked on him — players and spectators alike. He was getting a bit more used to it now, finding it easier to ignore everyone’s incessant attention, though he still didn’t get why they all cared so much. His relationship with Charlie was really none of their business.

He supposed he could understand his friends' interest a lot more than the fans. They’d been playing together for years — had lived together, even — and, for the most part, had been none the wiser of the fact that he was in a very serious relationship with a celebrity.

Nick’s uni friends had never met Charlie during his time at Leeds, hadn’t known that it was the Charlie Spring from Queer Intentions that he kept hidden away in his room. They’d heard he was in a relationship, but that was all — they didn’t know Charlie’s name and hadn’t seen a single picture of the two together that hadn’t been explained away as a meet and greet or chance encounter. Evidently they all thought he was making it up, a phantom boyfriend, someone who didn't exist at all.

“He’s just shy,” Nick had told them one day, the very first time Charlie had gone to see him in his new university flat during his second year of studying.

It was known by his flatmates that his boyfriend was coming to visit, Nick had been giddy about it for the entire week beforehand. But Charlie hadn’t ventured out of Nick’s room once, not while the house was buzzing with people at least, so Nick figured it was best to tell them a believable enough lie to get them off his back.

They didn’t think much of it that first time, none of them asking many questions as to why they hadn’t met the boy that he was so clearly head over heels for, accepting Nick’s reasoning well enough.

After the third visit they were far more doubtful, watching Nick with raised eyebrows and not believing a single excuse that came out of his mouth about why he and his boyfriend were holed up in his room the entire weekend.

The only person who didn’t spare a single thought for Nick’s seemingly suspicious activities was Sai, simply because he was well aware of the fact that they wanted their relationship to remain private, and also because he’d aided and abetted by helping to hoist Charlie in through Nick’s bedroom window.

Nick and Charlie spent the entirety of Nick’s time at university sneaking about, tiptoeing through the flat at ungodly hours of the morning and spending days on end tucked up in Nick’s bed, revelling in each other's company before Charlie had to eventually leave again.

At some point Nick had roped Christian McBride and Otis Smith into helping them as well, his Truham friends taking their job very seriously — except for the few occasions where Christian very nearly let it slip, earning some scolding remarks from the others.

Nick had thought often about telling his uni mates sooner, but neither he or Charlie wanted it to interfere with his studies in case things went sideways and the whole university — and world — found out, which was a big part of why they hadn’t. They didn’t know how people would react, especially with Charlie’s fame growing by the day — it was easier to just keep their relationship on the down-low for the time being.

When he eventually did tell them, after graduation, the only people who believed him were those who already knew — his friends from Truham Grammar and one other bloke, Luca, who had inadvertently walked in on Charlie lounging about on Nick’s bed during third year. 

“Remember my boyfriend?” Nick had asked the last time he’d seen them, not long before he started his teaching job.

“The one that never existed?” Jacob, one of his mates, laughed teasingly.

“Uh, well, he does exist actually,” he said, chewing anxiously on his bottom lip. “But yeah, that one.”

“Still sticking with that story, are you?” Callum asked, shooting him a slightly pitying look. “It’s okay if you don’t want to date, you don’t need to make up a boyfriend for our benefit.”

They all nodded in support of Callum's words, offering him reassuring smiles. He knew the whole slew of conclusions they’d drawn over the years, the things that they’d been thinking. He couldn’t blame them, really — he was never subtle when Charlie went to visit, always love-struck and bouncing off the walls, only for his elusive boyfriend to never make an appearance. It was no wonder that they thought he’d made him up.

He shifted awkwardly on his feet, glancing at all of their sympathetic expressions.

He had felt nervous, hadn’t known what to say or how to say it. They’d all been friends for so long and he still had yet to tell them about the most important part of his life. He fiddled absentmindedly with the hem of his shirt, twisting the fabric between his fingers as he took in their watchful faces, waiting for him to spit out the words he’d been dying to say.

“My boyfriend…” he began, taking a deep breath and avoiding their gazes as he finally let the words that he’d kept close to his heart flow free. “My boyfriend is Charlie Spring.”

Relief rushed through him, the weight of the secret being lifted. A smile tugged at his lips, he felt a sudden elation from finally saying the words out loud. Charlie Spring was his boyfriend, had been the entire time, and now all of his friends knew.

“Charlie Spring?” Jacob asked, as though he hadn’t quite heard him correctly.

“Yeah,” he reiterated, an awkward laugh escaping past his lips.

“From Queer Intentions?” Hamish, another friend, surmised sceptically.

“Yeah.”

He had expected that they would be surprised, that there’d be some sort of outburst of gasps or cheers. Instead, they stared at him like he’d gone mad, dubious about the secret he’d unveiled. None of them spoke as they exchanged glances with each other, silently contemplating what to say next.

“I know you really fancy him, mate,” Jacob began, his face screwed up in a grimace, “but I seriously doubt he knows you exist.”

“We’ll find you someone, don’t worry.” Callum jumped in, patting him on the back in a way Nick assumed was supposed to be comforting. Two of his other friends, Marcus and Ashton, nodded in agreement.

“I already have someone,” he stated. “I have Charlie.”

“I love you, mate, but don’t you think it’s time to let this whole pretend boyfriend thing go?” Hamish prodded, sounding a little awkward. “I mean you just graduated from university, how long are you gonna keep up this charade?”

“I get it, I really do, musicians are hot. But you don’t have to pick a celebrity,” Marcus piped up thoughtfully. “It could be someone you met on holiday or went to secondary school with, that’s more believable.”

“But I did go to school with Charlie—”

Callum didn’t give him a chance to finish speaking before he cut in again.

“It’s okay to be single, Nick,” he told him. “You seriously don’t have to keep pretending to have a boyfriend.”

Nick blinked at them all, utterly dumbfounded. They seemed to genuinely believe he was still making it up, as if he had been doing it for attention and had warped the scenario in his mind.

If he'd wanted the attention he wouldn’t have bothered to hide his relationship at all. He would’ve brought Charlie in through the front door, introduced him that very first day he’d come to visit and kissed him in front of all his friends. But he didn’t. Because that’s not what he wanted.

Luca had been standing at the back of the group awkwardly, Nick shooting him pleading glances as he begged for help. He was the only other person there who knew the truth — since none of his Truham friends had attended that day — the only one who could set things right.

“I saw Charlie Spring in Nick’s room once!” Luca blurted out, his voice slightly panicked.

“Posters don’t count, Luca,” Jacob told him, rolling his eyes.

It went on like that for a while, both Nick and Luca saying anything they could in order to get the others to believe what was quite simply the truth. He understood why they hadn’t believed Luca, everything that came out of his mouth sounded more like a question, like he wasn’t sure of what he was saying, even though he was. But Nick sounded so certain. He was determined for them to listen to what he was saying, to take him seriously with the one thing he was most serious about.

It had taken a great deal of convincing for the others to believe him. He wasn’t entirely certain that they actually did, not until Charlie himself confirmed it months later in an interview.

If Sai, Otis or Christian had been there, it no doubt would’ve gone a lot smoother. They’d known Charlie just as long as Nick had, before the fame, before he and Charlie had even started dating.

He’d thought about it after, that maybe he should’ve just brought Charlie along and been rid of any lingering scepticism, but he didn’t want that to be their first interaction with him. Better to ease them into it rather than thrusting a rockstar in their faces and expecting them all to remain calm — which they wouldn’t have, they were all fans just like everyone else.

He hoped they were calm now, knowing full well that Nick and Charlie were committed to one another, that it wasn’t just some silly little story he’d made up in his head.

He was a bit apprehensive as he approached his teammates, not knowing how they’d react to his return or the knowledge that Charlie Spring actually was his boyfriend the entire time. It had been ages since he’d last spoken to any of them, since he’d seen them in person. He’d replied to some texts here and there but it wasn’t the same.

They had probably talked about him extensively, wondering how he could’ve lied for so long about something so big. Would they even want to be friends with him anymore? Surely he should’ve been able to trust them with the secret, given how close they had become. But with his boyfriend’s fame status and the way everyone always reacted when it came to Charlie, it just wasn’t something he had wanted to deal with.

The fears that swirled in his head dissipated slightly as he got closer to his friends, each of them grinning at him widely as his feet carried him across the field.

A chorus of cheering and hooting erupted around him as he was engulfed by the group of rugby lads. They leapt at him en masse — an onslaught of his mates from Truham and Leeds, and some others that were on the team — exuberantly slapping their hands on his back as their excited voices boomed across the pitch.

“Where have you been, mate?!” Luca practically screamed in his ear, bouncing about, clearly unable to stay still. “We’ve missed you!”

“Too busy living the high life, eh?” Jacob teased with a smirk.

“I can’t believe you’re actually dating Charlie Spring!” Ashton shrieked in disbelief.

“I feel like such a knob!” Callum said, looking completely embarrassed as he held a hand against his forehead. “The amount of times you tried to tell us you had a boyfriend and there I was thinking you were making it up!”

“You really lucked out, mate,” Marcus told him proudly. “Charlie Spring is fit!”

Nick grinned at them all shyly as they showered him with praise. They all seemed genuinely excited for him and welcomed him back with ease, which was all he could’ve hoped for.

“I would’ve told you guys sooner, but Charlie and I thought it would be better to wait until after uni.”

“Good call, I reckon,” Hamish assured him. “Callum had a bit of a thing for your boyfriend last year. He wouldn’t have been able to contain himself.”

“Wha– No! Uh, I–” Callum fumbled over his words, his whole face flushed red in embarrassment. “Sorry, Nick.”

Nick brushed it off easily enough. He couldn’t fault Callum, really, he hadn’t known that Nick was dating the sought after celebrity at the time. Each member of the band was fawned over often, so it wasn’t much of a surprise that his own friends were interested in someone of that calibre too — even if it was directed at Charlie.

They knew the truth now, at least. He just hoped they’d eventually treat Charlie like an equal.

The game kicked off not long later, Nick fitting right back in with the team as though he had never left. They joked around as they played, taunting and teasing each other like they often did, getting on well. Until, all of a sudden, his mates stopped.

They all stood still, whispering and staring into the distance, well past Nick who was standing between them and whatever had spiked their curiosity.

A commotion at the edge of the field caught Nick’s attention. He turned around to find that a crowd was forming, more and more people gathering on the sidelines as the seconds passed. They didn’t usually attract so many spectators, the crowd generally only consisting of friends and family and passersby since they weren’t playing official games, but this was far greater. They swarmed in, an air of excitement radiating off them all. Something had clearly drawn them in — or someone.

And then he saw him.

There, in the middle of the crowd, was Charlie.

He was looking right at Nick, ignoring the people that surrounded him, as though Nick was the only thing that existed at that moment. He began making his way across the field, walking with his head down, a smile gracing his lips as he slowly closed the gap between them.

Nick felt a great satisfaction at knowing that he was the one Charlie was walking to, that he would soon have him in his arms again.

Charlie wasn’t meant to be in town that weekend, had said he was busy with the band — which was to be expected, he was in the middle of a tour. But he kept coming back anyway, insisting that he wanted to see Nick as much as Nick wanted to see him.

It had been almost two weeks since they’d last seen each other face to face, had held each other tightly in the confines of the home that they shared together. It was two weeks too long.

That last night together Charlie had been grumbling about having to leave again, about the fans that fussed over him to no end. There had been a series of men backstage and at parties that had been pestering him, not seeming to care that he was in a now-very-public relationship with his long term boyfriend. They just wanted to get to know him better, they kept saying — each of them trying their luck with a rockstar.

“Just tell them to piss off,” Nick had said simply as he wandered into their bedroom clad in just his pyjama bottoms, his freshly-washed hair a mess atop his head.

“You don’t think I’ve tried?” Charlie pouted where he sat cross-legged on the bed.

“I’ll do it then!” Nick exclaimed, carelessly tossing his damp towel into a corner and earning a glare from Charlie in return. “Charlie Spring is off-limits, untouchable to everyone except his boyfriend!”

Charlie snorted, rolling his eyes as he slid off the mattress to retrieve the offending towel and flinging it back towards Nick before returning to his position on top of the duvet.

“What, do you want me to carry around a sign or something?”

“Yeah, that would work!” Nick nodded in agreement, choosing to ignore Charlie’s obvious sarcasm as he deposited his towel into the laundry hamper, where it belonged. “Or you could wear it written on a t-shirt.”

“I’m not gonna wear it on a t-shirt!” Charlie scoffed, sounding disgruntled by the idea.

“Why not?” Nick gasped dramatically. “It could have my face on it.”

“Nope, not gonna happen!” Charlie huffed in refusal, turning his head aversely away from Nick. “I am not walking around wearing your face!”

“I’ve worn your face!”

“As a joke!” Charlie reminded him. 

Nick made his way over to the edge of the bed, stopping in front of Charlie and peering down at him.

“I may have first bought that hoodie as a joke but I’ll have you know it’s one of my favourite possessions,” he informed him.

“Oh, is it now?” Charlie raised an eyebrow at him, folding his arms over his chest challengingly.

“Yep!” he said proudly, waltzing over to his drawer and pulling out the garment. “I’m hoping to get it signed one day.”

Charlie’s face was almost lifesize on the piece of fabric, with his name written below in big block letters. Nick held it up to himself, admiring the printed version of his boyfriend's face.

He’d purchased it while he was at university, something that he’d spotted online and impulsively bought when he was in a silly mood, making the decision to greet Charlie in it the next time he visited. They had both laughed about it for hours, Charlie flushing red whenever Nick departed his bedroom still wearing it, afraid of what his boyfriend’s flatmates might say.

Nick hadn’t cared. He kept wearing it well after Charlie left again. He wanted everyone to see it on him, even if they teased him or thought he was just another obsessed fan — anything to have Charlie closer while he was gone.

“Go on, put it on then,” Charlie laughed, watching Nick ogle the merchandise before yanking it over his head. “But I’m not signing it.”

“Oh, please can I have your autograph, Charlie Spring?” Nick had begged playfully, fluttering his eyelashes in an overly flirty manner. “I want to turn up at rugby in a few weeks with your initials all over me!”

Except that it wasn’t Nick who was wearing his boyfriends initials that day on the rugby field, it was Charlie. A silver chain with the letter ‘N’ hanging from his neck.

Nick could see it glinting in the sunlight from across the field but hadn’t noticed what it was until Charlie was a mere few metres away, his eyes entranced as they flickered between Charlie’s beaming face and the little letter of his own name.

His feet moved of their own accord, closing the space between them, not wanting to be away from Charlie a second longer. He ran to him, encircling his arms around Charlie’s waist as he lifted him slightly off the grass. They gripped at each other tightly as they spun around, faces buried in necks, breathing each other in.

They swayed together as Nick gently set Charlie’s feet back on the ground, both of them pulling away slightly to look at each other, their arms still holding them close.

Nick had missed his face, had missed his hair and his eyes and his mouth. He had missed his dimples and the way he smiled up at him. He missed the way Charlie clung to his shoulders, like he never wanted to let go, and the feel of their hearts beating in sync within their chests. He’d missed him — so much — and finally he had him back.

Charlie leant up, balancing on his toes, his soft gaze flickering between Nick’s eyes and mouth. Nick met him halfway, tilting his head down and connecting their lips together in a blissful kiss, making up for the weeks they’d spent apart.

He didn’t know how long they’d kissed for when they finally broke apart to catch their breaths — time had stood still from the moment they were in each other's embrace. Nick rested his forehead gently against Charlie’s, panting lightly, the contentment of the moment rushing through him.

Looking down, Nick once again caught sight of the necklace that adorned Charlie’s neck. He swallowed lightly as he reached out a trembling hand, carefully fiddling with the pendant between his fingers.

“What’s this for?” Nick blushed, eyes not straying far from the piece of jewellery that lay against his boyfriend’s heart.

“Just a little something I picked up while I was out of town,” he explained, voice just above a whisper. “Thought it might let everyone know that I’m very serious about you.”

Nick was utterly transfixed by it, the little initial taking over his thoughts. Charlie had done it on purpose — he must’ve — knowing full well it would be Nick's downfall.

“So, what do you think?” Charlie asked cheekily, pulling back so he could get a better look at his boyfriend’s awestruck face.

Nick gulped. As if it wasn’t obvious what he was thinking at that moment.

“I– I think…” Nick stammered, letting the pendant fall away from his fingers. “I think you look really good right now.”

“Yeah?” Charlie grinned. “I was just thinking the same about you. I haven’t seen you in your rugby kit in ages.”

They just stood there, continuing to take each other in, letting the world drift away around them. Nick began to lean in again, lips slightly parted, the boy in front of him the only thing on his mind.

Just as their lips were about to touch, someone coughed dramatically from behind them, causing Nick to whip his head around and step back slightly from Charlie in surprise. His friends were all huddled together, some smirking at the pair while others had eyebrows raised.

“Are you two done flirting yet?” Otis called out, rolling his eyes.

Nick let out a small sheepish laugh from being caught — not that he had been subtle in wanting to kiss his boyfriend. He looked at Charlie again, who was looking back at him, a small smile lifting one corner of his mouth. Charlie gave a nod, silently agreeing that it was time they finally made introductions.

The words didn’t need to be said aloud, they were very good at reading each other and knowing what they each meant with their small glances and gestures. Nick slipped their hands together, tugging Charlie gently along behind him as they made their way towards the group.

He held Charlie’s hand tightly in his own, brushing his thumb gently over the backs of his knuckles and giving it a light squeeze.

“Everyone,” Nick announced, stopping in front of them all with his boyfriend by his side. “This is Charlie.”

Nick’s university mates stood there in a stunned silence, wide-eyed and mouths agape. It was highly unusual for them, they were normally a loud and boisterous bunch. They had seemed fine in the moment beforehand, that is, until Charlie was a mere few metres away — clearly the reason for their sudden quietude.

“What are you doing here, Charlie?” Sai asked from the front of the group, his voice cutting through the silence. “Thought you had the tour.”

“Nick mentioned he was gonna be coming back to rugby so I thought I'd surprise him,” Charlie explained freely. “Cheer him on and all that.”

“You really didn’t have to, Char,” Nick told him sincerely, though he did really appreciate the notion.

“I know,” Charlie said, tilting his head to press a tender kiss to Nick’s clothed shoulder before smiling up at him sweetly. “But I wanted to.”

“I forgot how incredibly sappy you two are.” Christian grumbled.

Nick lightheartedly rolled his eyes, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face, even in the midst of being teased by his friends. Christian, Sai and Otis came forward from the group, greeting Charlie in the same friendly manner that they always did, the five of them chatting away like no time had passed.

“I’m sorry…” Callum interrupted, his expression completely astounded. “Do you lot know each other? How are you not freaking out right now? That’s Charlie bloody Spring!” 

They all turned, halting their conversation to acknowledge the confusion that had spread across the entire group's faces, bug-eyed and frowning.

“Oh, we went to school together,” Christian said flippantly as though it was a well known fact, turning back to Charlie to continue his chat.

“Since when?” Jacob scoffed.

“Since always,” Otis confirmed, shrugging his shoulders like it had been no big secret.

“Charlie was on the rugby team with us,” Sai informed them nonchalantly.

There was a silence again, looks of surprise marring each of their faces as the shock of all the revelations settled in.

“You played rugby?!” Hamish cut in, his question directed at Charlie.

Charlie wrung his hands together, his voice tentative. “Well, I was never very good.”

“He’s a really fast runner!” Nick boasted proudly, a grin planted on his lips as he rested his hand delicately on Charlie’s lower back.

Charlie rolled his eyes at the flattery, leaning into the touch nonetheless. Nick had always been quick at offering encouragement to his boyfriend, wanting Charlie to always know how good he was, even when he didn’t think so himself.

“You should play with us today!” Callum suggested, nodding his head to himself like it was the best idea he’d ever come up with.

“Did you miss the part where I said I wasn’t good at it?” Charlie reiterated.

“Come on, it will be fun!” Luca urged, the others nodding in agreement. 

“I’m not exactly dressed for it,” he reasoned, looking over his clothes that were far too nice for standing on a sports field, let alone playing on one.

A cream jumper and denim jacket weren’t exactly rugby attire, but obviously he hadn’t anticipated he’d be playing with them when he made the trip out, opting for some of his nicer clothes — barring the old pair of converse that donned his feet.

“I’ve got a spare shirt in my bag that you can borrow, if you’d like,” Nick told him, pointing towards the pile of all their belongings at the edge of the pitch.

“And what about pants?” Charlie probed, his hands on his hips. “I’m not running around in my jeans, Nick.”

“You can wear my joggers too.”

“Ugh, fine.” Charlie agreed before pointing an accusatory finger in Nick's direction. “Some would think you planned this, you know.”

“I didn’t even know you were coming!” Nick defended with a laugh.

Charlie made a move to leave, his body turning in the direction of the bags, when Nick grabbed his arm and held him back.

“You know you don’t have to play if you don’t want to, right?” Nick said, his voice quiet. He didn’t want Charlie to think he had to, that he couldn’t just sit on the sidelines like he’d planned.

In all honesty, he did want Charlie on the field with him. He didn’t want him on the sidelines, being further away than he had to be. They were together again, for who knows how long, he didn’t want to waste it by being fifty metres apart.

“I do know that.” Charlie smiled at him. “It might be a good way to get to know your friends though.”

Charlie gave Nick's hand a squeeze before eventually pulling away again, heading off to find Nick’s bag with Sai leading the way. He looked back at Nick before he got too far, glaring at him jokingly from over his shoulder.

“Just don’t make fun of me if I’ve forgotten the rules!” he called out.

“No promises!” Nick called back, grinning to himself as his boyfriend disappeared into the distance.

They continued to play as they waited for Sai and Charlie’s return, passing the time with a quick game as the sky slowly began to cloud over. Unfortunately for Nick, the game failed to distract him, his mind still stuck on Charlie who would be arriving back at any moment.

He was about to head off to find him himself when the familiar voice caught his attention.

“They’re a bit big,” Charlie commented from behind him, causing him to spin around on the spot.

Nick felt the air leave his chest when he laid eyes on him again, dressed in his clothes for everyone to see, the necklace still in its place around Charlie’s neck. His fingers were twisted into the hem of Nick’s old rugby jersey as he walked closer, fiddling absentmindedly with the fabric.

He pulled Charlie towards himself once he finally got close enough, his hands planted firmly on his boyfriend's waist.

“You have no idea how hot you look right now.” He inhaled deeply, attempting to steady himself.

Charlie grinned at him, his own hands creeping up to rest on Nick’s chest. “Do you like me wearing your clothes or something?”

“Yeah.” Nick gulped, his eyes trailing over every inch of the boy he held in his arms.

“You know, last week I didn’t even know if I’d be able to come, let alone be wearing your clothes in the middle of a rugby match.” Charlie beamed, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “I’m breaking all my rules for you, Nicholas.”

Smirking at him, Charlie relinquished himself from Nick’s grasp, making his way towards the others and leaving a starstruck Nick Nelson in his wake. Nick just stood there, mind blank as he watched Charlie walk away, his own rugby number written across his boyfriend's back.

“Close your mouth, Nick, you’re drooling,” Otis remarked, coming up behind Nick and shoving him along towards the rest of the team, snapping him out of his reverie, but only briefly.

The game kicked off again, the men all chasing after the ball. After a bit of hesitation, Charlie fit in easily with all of Nick’s mates, each of them doing their part in making him feel welcome. He wondered if he should’ve introduced them sooner, but he didn’t want to change this day or any of the days leading up to it for anything.

The spectators cheered loudly, but Nick didn’t know what for — he was paying far closer attention to Charlie than to where the ball had ended up. Charlie was running around, a smile on his face, laughing at something Otis had said. He looked so carefree, pure enjoyment radiating off of him. 

Charlie jogged over to him, cheeks red from the work out — or maybe it was Nick’s doing, he couldn’t be sure. He grabbed Nick by the hand and tugged him along beside himself, towards the chaos of the game.

“Come on, the ball’s this way,” Charlie uttered, his sweet smile never leaving his face.

Nick couldn’t care less where the ball was, if he was being honest, and he didn’t care that he was supposed to be playing a game with his friends. His focus was solely on Charlie, the way he carried himself and how cheerful he looked. He relished in the feeling of their hands linked tightly together, the way his own clothes hung loosely off of Charlie’s body and the piece of jewellery that had never left his thoughts.

A drop of rain splattered against his cheek making him blink. When had it started raining? He stumbled a bit as he tried to keep up with Charlie, his legs not entirely in sync with his mind, more rain drops falling down upon them.

Charlie turned around at the same time Nick tripped over himself again, slipping slightly on the damp grass. They fell into each other, both trying to hold each other up, but failing as they collapsed to the ground in a heap. Mud had smeared across them in the tumble, painting them in flecks of dirt. The rain crashed down on them harder, splitting open the darkening sky, soaking through their clothes.

The onlookers scurried away in search of shelter, Nick’s mates along with them, none of them caring to stand around or play in the downpour.

Scrambling to his feet, Nick hoisted Charlie up alongside him. They swayed slightly as they found their footing, hands gripping at each other firmly to keep themselves steady. Charlie looked up at Nick from below his lashes, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. He shoved him slightly, breaking free from Nick’s hold and dashed off into the rain.

Nick bounded after him, careful not to fall again, the both of them laughing as they ran circles around each other. The sound of Charlie’s amusement was like a melody to his ears, making him swoon.

When Charlie finally ran near enough for Nick to catch him, he reached his arm out, snaking it around Charlie’s middle to pull him close. A surprised squeal erupted out of Charlie’s mouth as they spun around, Charlie in Nick’s arms, back pressed against chest.

Nick set him on the ground in front of himself, turning him so they could look at each other, both panting to catch their breaths. His heart thrummed rapidly in his chest, mingling with the sound of their breathing and drowning out the rain that continued to pelt down on them, dripping off their hair and cascading down the skin of their faces.

Lifting up his hand, Nick carefully reached towards Charlie’s face, brushing his thumb slowly across the corner of his mouth to clean away a smear of mud from their earlier fall. 

Utterly mesmerised, he leant in, eyes fluttering closed.

But he wasn’t met by Charlie’s lips like he’d anticipated, only the warm air between them where their shaky breaths had weaved together. He opened his eyes, Charlie had pulled his head back, a conflicting look written across his face.

“Nick, that’s disgusting,” he said. “My face is covered in mud!”

He held both his hands at the sides of Charlie’s head, his fingers getting lost in dark waves of hair. He leant in again, their noses brushing against each other, mouths an inch from touching.

Nick's words came out in a whisper, low and honest. “I don’t care.” 

He kissed him anyway, connecting their lips in a manner that was needy and passionate and full of love.

It didn’t matter to him that they were both covered in mud or drenched from head to toe by the rain. It didn’t matter that people were probably watching them from various shelters, thinking they were fools for being out in the bleak weather.

Neither of them cared in the moment that their lips pressed together, hearts beating in time with one another, creating a rhythm that was only meant for them. They got so lost in each other that they didn’t spare a thought for anything else, the world fading away. There was only them — standing alone in the rain, wrapped in each other's arms — and that’s all that mattered.

Chapter Text

Charlie hadn’t anticipated how distracting Nick would be. Which was silly, really, because he could barely remember a time when his focus wasn’t on Nick.

He’d finally taken some time off work to join Charlie on tour, paid leave that his boss had previously bribed him with, in exchange for a ticket to one of Queer Intentions’ UK concerts. Nick had been a bit apprehensive about taking her up on the offer, but after weeks on end of missing his boyfriend and only seeing him a handful of times, he gave in.

Assurance from Charlie was what ultimately eased his reservations, insisting that it was okay — that if Headmaster James had suggested it then clearly she was more than happy with the arrangement.

Charlie certainly wasn’t bothered. What was one single ticket in exchange for having his boyfriend around for two whole weeks? He’d forgo all the money in the world to have Nick by his side, if that’s what it took.

Nick’s worries had all but dissipated as soon as Charlie was in his arms again, kissing away any uncertainty that still lingered.

He didn’t know that Charlie was going to meet him at the airport, under the impression that he’d be getting picked up by the band’s driver. That was how Charlie had wanted it. He loved surprising Nick, seeing the look of bewilderment on his face followed by a culmination of his emotions.

People crowded around as Charlie stood in the terminal, waiting for Nick to finally make his appearance after his flight. They were watching him intently, snapping photos and calling his name, all round making a fuss. The upcoming concerts had brought in fans from all over the United Kingdom and places further abroad, not wanting to miss a chance to see Queer Intentions live on stage.

They kept their distance at least, a member of Charlie’s security having accompanied him into the busy building, not allowing anyone to get too close. It was the last thing he needed, to be mobbed in the middle of an airport when all he wanted was to greet his boyfriend in the same way that everyone else got to greet their loved ones.

He fully expected that his presence would bring about an onslaught of attention, that people would swarm in just to catch a glimpse of him. He was used to it, having dealt with it for years, but that didn’t mean he wanted his reunion with Nick to be overshadowed by his fans' persistent fixation.

When Nick’s silhouette finally emerged from the arrival gate, suitcase in tow, Charlie felt his heart beat rapidly inside his chest. It had only been a few days since he’d last seen him, but that was still far too long.

He couldn’t wait for the tour to be over, if he was being honest — as much as he loved it, he just wanted to spend every second with Nick by his side. Which was why he’d declared that the next two weeks would be his favourite of all, because Nick was finally there to enjoy it with.

Charlie watched as Nick surveyed the terminal, his eyebrows knit together in perplexity as he noticed the commotion. He looked a bit like a lost puppy, out of place and a little awkward as the ruckus went on around him.

Their gazes found each other from across the room, Nick’s whole face lighting up at the sight of his boyfriend. He looked so enchanting as he made his way towards Charlie — it was as though his eyes were whispering all the longing and love that he held for the dark-haired boy into the space between them, the words not needing to be spoken aloud.

Running forward, Charlie brushed past the various people who were departing after their flight. He leapt at Nick, who in turn dropped his bag and stumbled backwards at the impact. They collided with one another, Nick’s hands gripping at the back of Charlie’s jumper as Charlie’s arms clung around Nick’s neck. 

Charlie could feel both of their hearts hammering away alongside each other, the rhythm of their matching pulses and Nick’s steady breathing bringing a comfort to him that he’d missed in the days they’d spent apart.

“Hi,” Nick mumbled into the crook of Charlie’s neck.

“Hi,” he whispered back, eyes screwed shut as he pressed his face into Nick’s shoulder. 

Gently lowering Charlie’s feet to the ground, Nick took a step back to take in his boyfriend’s face, brushing a hand softly against his cheek. The touch was so warm, so welcoming, like the feeling of home.

“I missed you,” Nick said, his eyes filled to the brim with adoration as his fingers moved to twist into Charlie’s hair.

“You saw me like three days ago,” he remarked playfully, a smile forming on his lips.

“I can get back on the plane if you don’t want me here,” Nick countered, turning away slightly and letting his fingers slip from their place in the dark locks of hair, only for Charlie to tug him back into his grasp.

Charlie grinned at him, lifting up onto his toes as he reached his arms behind Nick’s neck once again.

“No, don’t go,” he amended. “I need you here.”

“Missed me too, huh?” Nick teased, tilting his head forward to rest against Charlie’s as his hands moved soothingly up his back, bringing them even closer.

“Yeah,” Charlie told him honestly. “I missed you too.”

His voice came out above a whisper, the words flowing from his lips like it was a secret being passed between just the two of them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Charlie caught a glimpse of cameras flashing around them, the people in the terminal intruding on their little moment. He couldn’t bring himself to care. He blocked it out, his sights focused only on Nick, the feeling of their noses brushing and their breaths mingling between them.

His eyes flickered down to Nick’s mouth. He hated that they were forced to go days at a time without sharing a single kiss — it was so unlike them, always kissing every chance they got when they were in close proximity. It probably annoyed all of their friends to no end, constantly breathing each other's air, even when they weren’t alone. 

There was a time when they were more private about it — well before they wanted privacy due to Charlie’s fame — when they first started being more public about their relationship in school. But it was different now. They didn’t want to bottle up any of their feelings, not for anyone or anything. Neither of them cared if the whole world was watching, as soon as they were in each other’s arms there was only them.

Charlie leant in, his eyes fluttering closed as his lips connected with Nick’s. The blonde kissed him back with equal fervour, the both of them pouring all of their pent up feelings and longing into the kiss, making up for the time they’d spent apart.

Reluctantly, Charlie pulled away, breaking the kiss and tilting his head down to rest against Nick’s heaving chest. He didn’t want it to end, but with all the nosy strangers watching he figured it would be best not to get too carried away. They still deserved some things to remain between them, even if they didn’t care.

He felt as Nick pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head, causing Charlie to hum contentedly at the notion. Nick reached a hand out to grab the handle of his suitcase, slipping the other into Charlie’s and intertwining their fingers.

They departed the airport, hand in hand, talking about whatever came to mind. All the while, Charlie kept his eyes glued to Nick, occasionally squeezing his hand as if to cement the fact that his boyfriend was actually there.

Neither of them released their hold on each other for the remainder of the day, continuing to cling close when they eventually joined up with the rest of the band in their rehearsal studio the next morning.

They were only a few days out from their first London concert, the most highly anticipated one yet. The lineup of shows were completely sold out, in great demand from their vast amount of fans. Rehearsals had been taking place everyday, ensuring that they had their songs down pat.

Charlie was exhausted, to say the least, not helped by his lack of sleep in anticipation for Nick’s arrival or the fact that they stayed up the following night basking in being together again. His tiredness was well worth it though, he hadn’t wanted to waste his alone time with Nick by being asleep. It was a busy few days ahead of him and although rest was very much needed, he wanted to be with Nick more.

“You can’t practise if you’re sleeping, Char,” Nick cooed from beside him where they sat together on one of the studio couches.

Charlie was resting his head against Nick’s shoulder, the latter’s fingers tangled in his hair, massaging lightly, not helping with his already drowsy mind. He snuggled further into the touch, a contented sigh emitting past his lips.

“I’m not sleeping,” he mumbled, eyes still shut.

Nick’s shoulder shook with a bout of amusement, the comforting sound of his laugh like music to Charlie’s ears.

The gentle tug on his hair ceased as Nick shifted beside him. There was a faint rustling sound as Nick adjusted his position, followed by the snapping sound of a phone camera, drawing Charlie out of his slumber.

Charlie opened his eyes, squinting ahead at the phone being held in front of his face. He could see himself in the frame, lazing about against his boyfriend’s arm. Nick’s own cheeky face was above him, eyes twinkling and lips turned up in a grin. Bewildered, he watched as Nick tapped on the screen, capturing a photo of them both with Charlie at the forefront.

“Stop it!” Charlie grumbled, swatting one arm at the device in an attempt to shoo it away while his other hand covered his face.

“I’m just taking pictures!” Nick laughed, his thumb continuing to tap away at the screen as he captured another series of photos.

“Why?” he groaned out.

He searched blindly for the phone again, his fingers barely grazing it before it was lifted out of his reach.

“Oh, am I not allowed pictures of my boyfriend now?” Nick retorted.

He poked Charlie in the ribs, making him squirm and drop his hands long enough for Nick to snap a few more pictures with his pouting face uncovered. The sound of Nick’s evil laugh in his ear was enough for Charlie to slap both his hands back over his face and sink lower onto the couch so that his head rested on Nick’s lap.

“Not when I look like shit!” 

“You don’t look like shit, you’re just sleepy,” Nick assured him. “I think sleepy Charlie is adorable.”

“You have to say that, you’re my boyfriend,” he huffed, voice muffled slightly by his hands.

Charlie could feel Nick trying to pry his hands away but he didn’t budge, keeping them firmly planted over his cheeks and eyes. Reluctantly giving up his efforts, Nick’s fingers resumed their earlier ministrations on Charlie’s hair, coaxing him into a calmer state.

“It’s almost like you don’t realise that you’re the most wonderful person in the world to me,” Nick said.

His words came out gently, honestly, in a way that made Charlie’s heart stutter in his chest.

“You think I’m wonderful?” Charlie asked, tilting his head back and peeping up at Nick from between his fingers.

“Wonderful, adorable, stupidly attractive.” Nick listed, gazing down at him.

Finally uncovering his face again, he crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.

“Oh, I’m attractive too, am I?” he quipped.

Nick rolled his eyes, leaning down to press a small kiss to Charlie’s forehead. “Yes.”

“And here I thought you loved me despite my looks.”

“I do. Your looks are an added bonus,” Nick explained, his mouth forming into a smirk. “That and the whole drummer thing.”

Charlie smiled back at him, lifting an arm up to brush a fallen strand of hair away from Nick’s eyes, stroking his palm down his boyfriend’s jaw before returning it to where it had previously rested against his own chest.

“Do you have a thing for musicians or something?” he mused.

“I have a thing for one in particular,” Nick specified, his eyes transfixed on the waves of hair that his fingers continued to play with.

“I’ll be sure to tell Sahar you fancy her,” Charlie stated with a false seriousness.

Nick stilled his movements, eyebrows furrowed and mouth agape as he stared, dumbfounded, at his boyfriend’s teasing expression. Charlie’s body shook as he tried to suppress his laughter, eyes creasing at the corners, his tiredness being replaced by the sudden hilarity of the moment.

Squinting his eyes challengingly at Charlie, Nick pulled his hands free from the dark strands, inching them menacingly towards the sides of Charlie’s ribs. Charlie’s own eyes shot wide open in realisation of what Nick’s aim was, bolting upright in an attempt to get away. He didn’t move quick enough though, a loud shriek escaping him as Nick began attacking him with a slew of tickles.

He flailed his limbs about as he fought against the assault. He’d ended up on his back with his head at the other end of the couch as Nick hovered above him, hands scrambling over Charlie’s torso. 

“Nick!” Charlie gasped out as Nick kept giggling away. “Stop it!”

The tickles came to a halt, both of them panting to catch their breaths. Nick settled over him, their chests pressed together and their legs a tangled mess as Nick placed his hands on either side of Charlie’s flushed cheeks.

He leant down, nuzzling their noses together and humming blissfully at their closeness. There were mere millimetres between their mouths, their hot breaths mingling together in the almost nonexistent space.

Charlie titled his chin up at the same time as Nick lowered his mouth, closing the gap, their eyes blinking shut in tandem with one another.

They kissed lazily, smiling into it every time their lips brushed. It was soft and affectionate, their hearts beating steadily as they melded together. Charlie inched his hands to the back of Nick’s neck, pulling him even closer.

He didn’t know how long they were like that for, his thoughts slowly slipping away. He’d almost forgotten that there were other people in the room until he heard Sahar’s voice calling out to him, snapping him out of his moment of bliss.

“Charlie, we’re gonna run through it again in a minute!” she said.

He turned his head abruptly away from Nick, who hadn’t been ready to break the kiss and ended up planting his lips against Charlie’s cheek instead.

Sahar was smiling at them, Aleena and Jay sniggering away behind her.

“Kiss on your own time, Charlie,” Aleena commented lightheartedly.

He flicked his gaze between them and Nick before finally settling back on his friends, grinning at them all sheepishly. Charlie wriggled out of Nick’s grasp, which proved tricky as Nick clearly had no intention of letting him go, his hands gripping at the fabric of Charlie’s borrowed sweatshirt.

Finally scrambling to his feet, Charlie pulled Nick’s hands away from his body so as to not be dragged back into the comfort of his boyfriend’s arms. Nick hesitantly let them drop to his sides, pouting as Charlie made to depart from their shared space.

“Time to get back to work,” he whispered, leaning forward to press one last kiss to Nick’s cheek. “I might let you get your camera out again though, you can take some candid photos of us rehearsing.”

Nick’s face lit up at the idea, digging around for his phone that had fallen between the couch cushions during their playful tussle.

“Make sure there’s some photos of the others mixed in too though,” Charlie said pointedly. “We can’t have you playing favourites.”

“I dunno, Char, that’s a pretty big ask,” Nick replied doubtfully, right before he lifted his phone up to take yet another picture of the boy that stood in front of him.

Charlie just rolled his eyes, his request for pictures of the rest of the band was probably futile, knowing full well where Nick would be directing his camera. He had been right, of course. Every time Charlie glanced up from his drums as he and the band practised some of their songs, Nick was grinning away, his focus only on Charlie.

The photos were probably nothing exceptional, not to anyone but Nick. He never cared if his photos were deemed good quality or not, he just wanted to capture moments and memories to look back on later, all of them revolving around the young man who held his affection.

Nick became Charlie’s personal photographer over the days leading up to the big show. Even backstage at Wembley Stadium, mere moments before the band were to make their entrance onto the stage, Nick was busy clicking away at his camera. He wanted Charlie to remember it all too, to recall the thrill of the day and the euphoric and surreal feelings that swirled in his chest. He wanted to freeze time so that Charlie never forgot how spectacular the moment was, how life-altering it would be.

The crowd was booming in anticipation, the stadium practically shaking with excitement. Charlie was busy peeking at the sea of bodies from the edge of the stage, his pulse spiking with every cheer from the fans as they awaited the arrival of Queer Intentions.

“Are you nervous?” Nick asked, coming up behind him and settling a hand against Charlie’s hip, his fingers tickling at the exposed skin below the fraying edge of his boyfriend’s cropped t-shirt.

“A bit, yeah,” Charlie admitted, turning around to face him, a smile spreading across his face. “But good nervous.”

Charlie encircled his arms around Nick’s waist, one last moment of comfort before they had to eventually part ways for the evening.

“You’re gonna do great,” Nick assured him, lifting his other hand to stroke against Charlie’s cheek as he kissed him gently on the lips. “You always do great.”

They lingered there briefly, foreheads pressed together as they willed the world to stop around them, neither wanting to leave the little bubble they’d created. Nick’s fingers still brushed soothingly against Charlie’s hipbone, an air of calm washing over them both at the motion.

“You’re watching from back here, are you?” Charlie asked, sliding his hands around to rest against Nick’s chest. “Or should I get someone to take you over to the VIP tent?”

“And miss out on the mosh pit?!” Nick said incredulously, pulling his head back to look at Charlie as though it was the most absurd idea.

“The mosh pit…” Charlie repeated sceptically. “Are you sure about that?”

“Uh, yes!” Nick matter-of-factly told him. “I want the full concert experience!”

“Okay, fine,” he said, rolling his eyes before his tone turned serious. “But stand in front of the barriers, I don’t want you getting mobbed by crazed fans!”

Nick nodded frantically, his eyes wide with excitement and his smile beaming. 

After one last kiss, Nick went off with a member of the band's security. Their arms were outstretched to each other as they reluctantly parted ways, connecting via their hands in the space between them, Nick squeezing Charlie’s fingers in his own.

Charlie watched as Nick practically bounced his way to the front of the stage, his expression giddy as he waited in anticipation alongside the rest of the audience.

It wasn’t long until the band would finally step foot into the spotlight, until they could bask in the atmosphere of the event they’d pulled together.

Sahar, Aleena and Jay joined Charlie at the edge of the stage, each of them feeling a mixture of emotions. It was a big night for them, one they’d remember forever, a highlight of their career.

“Ready?” Jay asked them all anxiously, looping their arms over Charlie and Aleena’s shoulders as Sahar and Aleena tightly linked arms.

They all nodded, smiling at each other reassuringly and proudly as they let all of their feelings settle. One by one they stepped out, the lights shining on them, dazzling to their eyes.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Charlie made his way onto the stage, following close behind his bandmates. The crowd screamed and roared, chanting each of their names into the air. Charlie glanced around at the thousands of people in attendance, the flashing lights and his name on their lips stunning his senses as he took it all in.

His eyes trailed around the edge of the stage, stopping in their tracks when his gaze finally landed on the very person his heart had hoped to see. The overwhelming feeling vanished when he saw Nick’s face, smiling up at him proudly from the front of the stage.

It was like everything around him faded away, the noise and the lights no longer existing as his sights honed in on Nick. He felt a sudden ease surrounding him, the chaos becoming tranquillity as he continued across the platform.

He sat down at his drum set, sticks in hand as the others also took their places. It was second nature to them now, the four of them together on stage, making music for the world to hear. They’d created something extraordinary when they formed their band back in secondary school, none of them knowing that this was where it would take them.

It was almost muscle memory, the way his wrists flicked and his feet stomped with every beat of his drums as they began to play. His pulse thrummed in time with the rhythm of the music, his whole body being engulfed by the feelings and sounds.

The crowd in the stands went wild, the chanting between songs overpowering everything else, sending a thrill through each member of the band. They were all grinning, taking in every little moment and burning it into their minds. The night was sparkling, the electricity in the stadium almost tangible. They felt enraptured by it all, getting to rule the world for a night, dressed in band tees and ripped up jeans.

Throughout it all, Charlie’s eyes kept landing back on Nick. The blonde had been catching his attention repeatedly as the night progressed, making Charlie’s chest stutter each and every time. He’d had a few unnoticeable mishaps with his instrument several of the times that he’d looked in Nick’s direction, skipping a few beats here and there at the same time as his heart.

He knew he should’ve stopped himself from looking, to focus on the music and nothing else, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn away.

Nick was right there, dancing around all alone in front of the vast sea of people, blissfully unaware of the effect that he was having on Charlie. He was wearing some brand new merchandise, a t-shirt with Charlie printed on it that he’d happily traded for the one he’d arrived at the venue in earlier that evening.

He looked ethereal, his face gleaming as he swayed to the music, dancing in time with Charlie’s drumming. Charlie’s chest seized again as he watched him, his breath catching in his throat.

He missed another beat, the movement of his hands faltering as his eyes stayed glued to his boyfriend at the front of the stage. His mind couldn’t focus on anything else, Nick was the only thing he could see, everything else blurring around him. The tempo of the song was completely lost on him as Nick’s name echoed in his thoughts, banging on his drums in a way that barely resembled the song he was meant to be playing.

Nick looked up, halting his dancing at the unfamiliar sound of the drums. He’d noticed the change, of course he had, it had always been the part of their music he paid the most attention to.

They locked eyes from across the stage, the distance between them inconsequential, making his heart stop.  Everything felt dreamlike as thousands of lights twinkled around them, the crowds' phones and flashlights lighting up the arena like stars that were shining just for the two of them.

Charlie ceased playing entirely, his mind in another world as he stared right at Nick. He could faintly hear the rest of the band continuing without him and the screams of the crowd coming from all directions, but the sound was dull, waning as the seconds passed as though it was just himself and Nick left in the room.

He knew that he’d messed up in front of thousands of people, that everyone was going to know about it, talk about it, and never let him live it down. But he just couldn’t bring himself to care. 

They watched each other as the night went on around them, both of them completely lost in one another. Nick was beaming up at him, his cheeks pink and his eyes dancing in the dim light. Charlie was certain he looked much the same, unable to keep the awe and enchantment off his face.

Even with the distance separating them, he could see Nick’s mouth moving. The movement didn’t match up with the song though, he wasn’t singing like everyone else was. It was three little words that were forming on his lips, words that Charlie knew all too well, melting his very being and filling him with unbridled emotion.

“I love you,” Nick said into the space between them, and it was as if Charlie could hear him, the unforgettable sound of Nick’s voice drifting towards him and swirling in his head.

Charlie smiled back at him, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“I love you too,” he uttered gently, hoping Nick would hear the sound of his voice as well.

The look on his face said that he did, his demeanour softening even more. Time stood still as they continued to watch each other, just the two of them, hearts skipping beats in their chests as they got entangled in their little moment.

When the show finally came to an end, Nick was waiting for him at the edge of the stage. Charlie ran towards him, desperate to finally close the space that had separated them the entire night, and was engulfed in a tight embrace, their arms wrapping around each other securely.

“That’s the last time you’ll be getting the full concert experience for a while,” Charlie mumbled into Nick’s shoulder as they slipped backstage and out of view of the audience.

“But it was so much fun!” Nick pouted dramatically.

They pulled back to look at each other, the closest they’d been in hours, finally being able to take in every little detail of the other's features.

“I will admit though,” Nick continued as he brushed some of Charlie’s hair behind his ear affectionately, “all your fans were a little too enthusiastic about me being right next to them, especially when you messed up.”

Charlie paled, his eyes going wide in horror.

“Oh my fucking god, they noticed that?!” He cringed, covering his face with his hands. “I’m so embarrassed!”

Delicately pulling Charlie's hands away from his face, Nick held them in his own, fiddling with them gently as he attempted to ease Charlie’s mind.

“Don’t be, no one seemed to mind too much,” Nick told him softly, a reassuring smile gracing his lips.

Charlie tried to remain calm, to not overthink the events of the evening, but he couldn’t help but feel mortified. It was supposed to be the biggest night of their entire tour and yet he’d somehow managed to mess it up, all because his boyfriend was amongst the audience looking as captivating as ever.

“This is all your fault!” Charlie told Nick, smacking him lightly on the chest.

“My fault?” Nick asked teasingly, failing to hide his smirk. “Was it because you were busy staring at me?”

“Ugh, yes!” Charlie groaned, hiding his face against Nick’s chest as his fingers twisted in the fabric of his t-shirt.

Laughing lightly, Nick’s body shook with amusement and adoration as he encircled his arms around Charlie once again.

“It’s okay, they’ll understand,” Nick assured him, his tone tender as he pressed a kiss to the top of Charlie’s head. “We’re in love, after all.”

Chapter Text

Nick had been looking forward to the Christmas season all year. It was his and Charlie’s first Christmas actually living together, celebrating in the home that they shared.

They had wanted to live together sooner — would have if things such as university and distance hadn’t gotten in the way — not that they would’ve changed how their lives had gone up until that point for anything, it still felt as though they’d been living together for years.

It had taken all of a week after Nick graduated from university for the two of them to finally move into their new home, eager to have their own space, somewhere that belonged to just them. 

There was something so relaxing about the change, to never have to leave at the end of the night or after a weekend stay. They got to come home to each other every evening, to wake up in each other's arms day after day — barring from the times that Charlie had to go away with the band. Neither of them wanted it to end, they wanted it to be their life forever. 

Holidays and birthdays would all be extra special now, always getting to start and end the day with one another — one of the many reasons why Nick had been so excited about this Christmas in particular.

The morning sun broke through a crack in the curtains, rousing Nick from his deep slumber. He stretched his limbs and rolled towards Charlie’s side of the bed, reaching an arm across the mattress to pull his boyfriend near. But the sheets were cold, absent of the person Nick had hoped to have an early morning cuddle with.

He lifted his head from the pillows, in a daze as he blinked in the early morning light, glancing around for any sight of his boyfriend. But he was alone.

With his mind still clouded by the remnants of sleep he let his head crash back down onto the bed with a thunk, rolling onto his stomach to bury his face into his pillow.

It wasn’t long later that he heard the bedroom door creak open and the familiar sound of Charlie's footsteps making their way across the room. He felt as the bed dipped down beside him and a kiss was pressed to the top of his head, a hand simultaneously rubbing gently at his back that was exposed to the cool morning air.

He rolled over, a lazy smile spreading across his face as he fluttered his eyes open again. Charlie was peering down at him, his eyes twinkling and mouth pulled up in a wide grin.

“Happy Christmas,” Charlie said softly, leaning down to kiss Nick gently on the lips before wrapping him in his arms.

“Happy Christmas,” Nick uttered back, hugging Charlie tightly to himself.

They lay there for a moment as Nick’s mind came to, both of them snuggling into each other, enjoying the comfort of their bed. He knew that he should probably make a move to get up, they had a big day of festivities ahead of them, after all — festivities he was eager to get started. But even with the winter chill nipping at his skin, he was just so cosy with Charlie by his side that he would have been equally as happy to stay there for the remainder of the day.

“How long have you been up for?” he asked groggily, rubbing sleepy dust out of his eyes.

“Just a couple hours,” Charlie told him, brushing his fingers through Nick’s messy bed hair.

He wasn’t used to Charlie getting up that early, it was often the other way around since Nick generally had to be up and ready to get to work before his students began arriving. They usually tried to prolong their time in bed on weekends and holidays, basking in their time alone. There were still a few hours ahead of them before they had to be at Sarah’s house for lunch, so Nick didn’t feel any rush to move.

“I hope you at least waited until Santa visited,” Nick mumbled, burying his face into Charlie’s neck. “I don’t wanna miss out on presents because my boyfriend was trying to sneak up on an old man dressed in red.”

“Well, maybe he shouldn’t be breaking into people's houses,” Charlie countered. “I promise, Nick, there’s plenty of presents for you.”

“Okay, fine,” he said. “But if I find Santa in our garage, tied up to a chair or something, I’ll be blaming you.”

“I’ll just tell him I was coerced into it,” Charlie argued. “That it was all your plan.”

“And get me put on the naughty list?” Nick scoffed in outrage. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“I dunno, I think I could make a pretty convincing argument. He’ll have no choice but to believe me.”

Nick lifted his head and squinted his eyes challengingly at Charlie, a playful threat leaving his mouth. “I could tickle you, you know.”

“Not if you want to open presents, you won’t!” Charlie stated matter-of-factly, quickly trying to extricate himself from Nick’s grasp just in case. “Now, come on. Don’t you want to see what I got you?”

Truthfully, he’d been practically giddy thinking about the possible things his boyfriend might’ve gotten him — and the look on Charlie’s face when he opened his own presents too. Exchanging gifts was definitely one of their love languages, everything they had ever given each other on birthdays, anniversaries, or Christmases was always meaningful.

Even just something small would have Nick completely over the moon. Charlie could simply give him a pair of socks and he’d be cherishing them as though they were the best gift ever — it was certainly true the year before when Nick received a pair with pugs printed all over them to match Henry.

He barely took them off the first few days of owning them, which had forced Charlie to practically tackle him to the ground in order to rip them off his feet so he could chuck them in the wash. They were full of holes after a few months of incessant wearing, so Charlie had bought him some extra pairs to see him through the rest of the year.

Clambering out of bed behind Charlie, Nick pulled on his newest pair of pug socks and a fluffy Christmas jumper, the two of them padding through to the living room hand-in-hand. 

The room was glowing from the Christmas lights that were hung from the ceiling and spiralling around the tree, lighting up the space in red and gold. They had spent an entire day decorating the lounge, making it perfect for their first big holiday in their shared home. There was a pile of gifts under the tree, each of them wrapped and tied up with a ribbon. Most of them were for family — both Charlie’s and Nick’s — presents they’d be taking over to Sarah’s later that day.

Tori and Oliver had been invited, and Michael too, so they would all be exchanging gifts there. Their mum and dad had decided to go away for the holidays, visiting Julio’s parents in Spain, leaving Ollie in the care of his older sister for a couple of weeks.

Everyone was excited for the celebrations, to all be able to get together and spend the day with each other. Nick and Charlie still had a bit of time before they needed to start getting ready, the first thing on their agenda being to exchange their own gifts, both eager to see what the other got.

Nick knelt down beside the tree, digging around for Charlie’s present that he’d hidden at the back prior to going to bed the night before.

“Open mine first!” he blurted out, holding the basket out for Charlie to take who had already taken a seat on the floor, his own gift for Nick in hand.

Their knees bumped together as Nick sat down in front of him, shuffling as close as he could get, a wide smile etched onto his face as he anxiously waited for Charlie to open it.

“Got a bit carried away with the decorating did you?” Charlie asked around a teasing grin, gesturing to the abundance of ribbons that twisted around the wicker basket and were weaved through the handle.

“I wanted it to be perfect,” Nick blushed, hugging one knee to his chest as the other kept its connection with Charlie’s.

Smiling at him sweetly, Charlie set Nick’s own gift on the floor next to him to pull the basket further into his lap.

Nick watched with nervous anticipation as Charlie rifled through the basket, picking up each item with care. He’d included a newly framed photo of the two of them, plus several more to add to their photo album; a jar filled with love notes and affirmations that Nick had written himself; and a fresh batch of gingerbread that he’d baked while Charlie had been out of the house on Christmas eve.

At the very bottom was a perfectly wrapped rectangular box. Charlie’s beaming smile fell from his lips as he picked it up, his eyes wide and his breath catching in his throat.

“Nick…” Charlie uttered as he opened it, his voice and features full of emotion as he looked at the contents.

“I know you have lots already,” Nick began, “but these are supposed to be really good ones.”

It was a brand new pair of drumsticks, ones that he’d had engraved with Charlie’s initials. He’d purchased them while he was in London during the leave he’d taken to join Charlie on tour, slipping away briefly on one of the band's rehearsal days.

They were elegantly crafted with the perfect grip, a high quality set that Nick knew Charlie would get good use out of. He wanted Charlie to have the best, and these ones had the extra special benefit of being personalised by his doting boyfriend.

“They’re perfect,” Charlie expressed fervently, moving the basket off his lap and flinging himself into Nick’s arms, taking him by surprise as they toppled over onto the floor. “It’s all so perfect. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Nick cooed from underneath Charlie, wrapping his arms around Charlie’s waist and kissing him gently where they lay.

Clambering off of his boyfriend, Charlie reached around for Nick’s gift, holding out a messily wrapped box for him to take.

“Don’t judge my wrapping skills,” he requested, folding his arms over his chest challengingly as Nick held the present in his hands.

“I happen to think it’s endearing,” Nick professed with a smile, tearing into the paper.

He tossed the wrappings aside, revealing a boxed-up camera. 

“I know how much you enjoy taking pictures… so, yeah.”

It was Nick’s turn to engulf Charlie in a hug, but this time they didn’t collapse to the ground, Nick steadying them both as he clung to Charlie.

“Thank you, Char,” he beamed, littering a series of kisses all over Charlie’s face, making him squirm. “I love it.”

“You’ll have to charge it up first so you can use it,” Charlie told him, pulling back to look into Nick’s eyes, “but I’m sure you’ll have loads of fun with it.”

“I can’t wait,” Nick said excitedly. “The first photo I take on this will be of you, by the way.”

“Oh, I know.” Charlie rolled his eyes, clearly not surprised by his boyfriend’s proclamation.

Feeling Charlie’s eyes on him as he fiddled with the camera, he looked up, locking their gazes. Charlie was biting his lip anxiously and pulling the sleeves of his jumper over his hands. After a moment, he spoke, a smile spreading across his lips as he broke the silence that had surrounded them.

“This is just the first one,” Charlie explained. “I’ve got something else for you — well, for us — but I think you’ll really love it.”

He shifted to get up but Nick grasped Charlie’s hand in his own, halting his movements.

“Charlie, you didn’t have to get me anything else,” Nick told him earnestly.

“I know, but I wanted to,” Charlie assured him, squeezing Nick’s hand. “And like I said, it’s for me as well. Now wait here while I go get it.”

Hesitantly, Nick released his grip, allowing Charlie to get to his feet and practically skip out of the room. Remaining cross-legged on the floor, Nick waited anxiously for his boyfriend to return, fiddling with the discarded wrapping paper and ribbons between his fingers.

Charlie really didn't need to get him a second gift, a brand new camera was plenty. All Nick really wanted was to spend the day with Charlie, he didn’t feel like he needed anything else. But Charlie insisted, claimed that Nick would love it and that it was also something for them to share. His mind jumped from possibility to possibility, trying to imagine what it might be, but none of his thoughts even came close.

When Charlie finally returned, he had a bundle of blankets in his arms. Nick furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. What was so special about some old blankets?

As his boyfriend moved closer, a giddy smile on his lips, Nick noticed the faintest bit of movement from the small bundle. He gasped suddenly, eyes widening in wonder and shock as Charlie continued to close the space between them.

Nick leapt to his feet, heart beating rapidly in his chest as he flicked his gaze between Charlie’s beaming face and the blankets that he held snug in his arms. He gulped as he stepped forward and cautiously lifted a hand to the fluffy fabric, simultaneously desperate and nervous to see what it was. He pulled the top of the blanket back to reveal what was inside, and he could’ve sworn he’d stopped breathing altogether.

There, in his boyfriend's arms, was a puppy.

His bottom lip began to wobble as his eyes were transfixed on the small animal, its little face gazing right back at him. It was a golden retriever, blonde and fluffy and adorable, and it was for them.

“You can hold her if you’d like,” Charlie told him gently, smiling at him encouragingly.

“It’s a girl?” he asked with a shaky voice, meeting Charlie’s eyes with his own.

Charlie nodded, still grinning away as he manoeuvred his arms towards Nick’s, transferring the bundled up puppy into Nick’s waiting hands.

She was so small in Nick’s arms, so delicate and cute and warm. He was almost scared to hold her, but he cradled her so gently, in the same caring way he’d always held his dogs.

He just watched her, lips slightly parted as he stroked the soft fur on top of her head. 

Nick’s heart clenched in his chest and his eyes stung with unshed tears, an overwhelming feeling taking a hold of him. With a shuddering breath he tried to steady himself, but it was no use. The tears began to fall, cascading down his cheeks as his body was overcome with a wave of sobs.

“Why are you crying?” Charlie asked, concern laced through his voice, reaching his hand out to wipe gently at his boyfriend's tear-stained face.

“I love her,” he wept, hugging the puppy close to his chest.

“Oh, Nick…” Charlie softly murmured, supporting Nick’s head with his hands and rubbing soothing fingers along the sides of his reddened face.

His body shook with his emotions, an outpouring of his love and appreciation for the little ball of fur that he held in his hands. He had always adored dogs, had always wanted an abundance of them throughout his life, and now he got to have one with the very person he loved most in the world.

He had missed being around dogs all the time, if he was being honest. He still saw Nellie and Henry as often as he could, visiting them almost every week and even bringing them back to his and Charlie’s house on occasion. Nellie was very old so he tried his best to spend as much time with her as he could, not wanting to miss out on too much of her company while she was still around.

He was thankful that she would get to meet their new puppy, to be able to have memories and pictures of all three of his dogs together.

Nick’s eyes fluttered closed as he leant his head forward, resting it against Charlie’s, their foreheads touching. He licked his lips, slightly salty from the tears, and inhaled a calming breath.

“I love you. So much.” He sniffled, opening his eyes again to look directly into Charlie’s across the small space between them. “Thank you.”

Charlie was looking back at him, his lips twitching up into a sweet smile as his own words fell from his mouth with ease. “I love you too.”

The puppy began wriggling between them, attempting to clamber out of the blankets she’d been wrapped in. Nick pulled away from Charlie, getting down on his knees to place her gently on the floor. She hopped around, her tiny feet stepping all over the discarded wrapping paper as she explored her new home.

Nick couldn’t keep his eyes off her, watching her adoringly and stroking her soft baby fur every time she got within his reach.

“We need to pick out a name for her,” Charlie reminded him, settling back onto the floor as well, the puppy wandering happily between the two of them.

“Oh, um,” Nick began, biting at his lip, “I already know what her name is gonna be.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Do you now?” 

Nodding, Nick scooped the puppy back up into his arms and held her close to his chest as he ruffled her fur.

“I’ve kind of… had it picked out for years.”

Charlie watched him suspiciously, his eyes squinting and lips pursed.

“If you’re planning to name our puppy after a Marvel character then I’m breaking up with you, just so you know,” he said jokingly.

Nick rolled his eyes before sticking his tongue out childishly at his boyfriend. “I promise, it’s not after a Marvel character.”

“Good because I can’t be bothered packing my bags,” Charlie quipped. “What is it then?”

Nick had a rather extensive list of names for future pets — some of them being Marvel characters which were now seemingly not options, given Charlie’s disapproval — but the one he felt was right for this puppy in particular was high up on his list.

“Daisy,” he said softly, the name rolling past his lips.

He could feel his whole face lighting up as he said it, a warm smile spreading from cheek to cheek as he pressed a little kiss to the top of the puppy’s head. He’d always liked the name, thought it was cute and sweet and definitely fitting for a golden retriever.

Looking up again, he found Charlie smiling at him, watching the two new friends interact with each other.

“Daisy Nelson-Spring,” Charlie mused, testing the name on his tongue. “I like it, it suits her.”

Nick’s heart skipped a beat, the sound of their names melded together shocking his system. His mouth felt dry and his skin tingled as he looked, wide-eyed, at his seemingly oblivious boyfriend.

“Hyphenating our names already, are we?” he asked on an exhale, attempting to sound casual.

“Well, we’re both her dads so it’s only right she gets both our names,” Charlie reasoned, shuffling closer to Nick as he reached a hand out to pat the newly named Daisy.

Their knees bumped together again and Nick’s breath caught in his throat. He could feel himself internally panicking, Charlie’s suggestion of hyphenating their names and referring to them both as dads was causing his brain to malfunction exponentially.

They’d previously discussed the possibility of them becoming parents one day, as well as the much closer reality of getting a pet — but Nick hadn’t thought about the two points in their life coinciding, that they would in fact be essentially parents to the little puppy that he now held in his arms.

The idea of their fur-baby sharing their surnames made his heart beat rapidly inside his chest, the implication that they too would one day share the names. He wanted them to be husbands so badly, for his name to be Charlie’s and Charlie’s name to be his. It was a desperate need, that they would be married someday in the near future, taking their relationship another step further.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt Charlie place his hand on top of Nick’s wrist. It was like he had sensed Nick’s busy mind and wanted to bring him a bit of ease — but he didn’t confirm it outloud, only traced comforting circles into the skin beneath the cuff of Nick’s jumper.

He willed his heart rate to go down but it was beating so fast that he was afraid Charlie might be able to hear it or feel his pulse where they connected.

“So, you like your gift then?” Charlie asked, tilting his head to the side to peer up at Nick, his eyelashes fluttering prettily as his lips pulled up at both corners.

He kept fiddling with the sleeve of Nick’s jumper, twisting the fabric between his fingers and tugging his boyfriend's hand towards himself. The action was a comfort to them both, always wanting their hands to be connected with one another.

Nick nodded, leaning forward to press a kiss to Charlie’s forehead. “It’s the best gift ever.”

They sat there briefly, enjoying the little moment of bliss, until Daisy began fidgeting in Nick’s grasp. He set her down and she stumbled across from his lap to Charlie’s, curling up in a ball for a nap next to their intertwined hands.

Nick threw his head back with a sigh, leaning against the couch.

“My gift to you is really crap compared to what you got me,” he uttered disparagingly.

“It’s not!” Charlie quickly objected. “I love what you got me!”

Nick pouted, staring up at the ceiling. “You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend.” 

A flick on his shoulder grabbed Nick’s attention, making him turn his head to face Charlie who was staring at him sternly.

“I’m saying it because it’s true!” he corrected. “I can’t wait to use the drumsticks the next time I play.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” Charlie said, planting a kiss on Nick's cheek. “They’re perfect.”

They stayed there a while longer, basking in the quiet of the morning and just watching Daisy sleep. Neither of them wanted to disturb her slumber, they knew she would be fussed over to no end from the moment they stepped foot into Sarah’s house later that day.

Eventually Nick got up, making them some breakfast and tidying up the room as Charlie remained on the floor with Daisy. They took turns getting changed, carefully manoeuvring the passed out puppy between them as they each went about their own tasks, neither wanting to let her go.

As the morning progressed they packed presents and dishes of food into the car, ready to take over. Charlie slid into the passenger seat, still holding Daisy, and Nick helped buckle his seatbelt before they headed off to his mum’s house which was no doubt already full of people.

Daisy awoke as they departed their driveway, keeping them thoroughly entertained during their journey, playing with anything she could get her paws on.

Nick couldn’t wait to surprise everyone with the newest addition to their family. Charlie had told him that the only people who knew were Tao and Elle, the pair of them having taken care of her for a few days until Charlie went to pick her up again in the early hours of the morning. It was where he’d been disappearing off to in the lead up to Christmas, hanging out with their friends and bonding with their puppy, completely unbeknownst to Nick.

When they finally pulled up outside the house, Nick went in first, food in hand as he weaved his way past the guests that had already arrived. He greeted them all happily as he continued through to the kitchen, where he figured his mum would be, fussing over the abundance of food.

“Happy Christmas, mum!” Nick announced when he found her, placing his dishes down on the bench alongside the others.

“Oh, Nicky, happy Christmas!” Sarah beamed, stopping what she was doing to pull him into a tight hug. “Did you and Charlie have a good morning, darling?”

“Yeah, it was the best,” he smiled widely, hugging her back.

“Where’s Charlie? Is he still outside?” she asked, peering round past Nick’s shoulder to see if the boy in question was coming through the door.

“Yeah, he’s just grabbing the presents from the car,” he explained. “Actually, would you help us carry them in?”

“Of course, darling,” she said. “Let me just put the potatoes in the oven.”

She finished her task and they walked out together, wandering through the sea of people that filled the house. Nick was so excited to tell her, to surprise her with his new puppy the same way Charlie had surprised him. He couldn’t wait to see her reaction, he knew she’d be just as excited as he was.

Stepping outside, Nick could see Charlie still sitting in the passenger seat of the car. He walked over, opening the door for him so he could climb out with ease, Daisy still held securely in his arms.

Sarah gasped from behind Nick, watching them emerge from the car, her eyes focused on the puppy.

“Mum, meet Daisy,” Nick said, guiding Sarah over. “Daisy, meet your Nan.”

“Nan?” Sarah repeated in disbelief, her eyes welling up. “You mean she’s yours?” 

“She’s ours. Charlie surprised me with her this morning,” Nick said proudly, a blissful grin on his face.

She took in the puppy in front of her, reaching out her hand to gently stroke Daisy as if to confirm that she was real.

“She’s so lovely!” Sarah cooed and then turned back to Nick. “My baby’s all grown up!” 

She began peppering kisses onto her son's cheek as she wrapped her arms tightly around him once again.

“Ugh, Mum!” Nick groaned but made no attempt to shoo her away, accepting his fate.

Charlie was busy grinning at him and Nick couldn’t help but smile back as his mum continued to fuss over him dotingly.

Nick pulled away from his mum, wandering over to Charlie and stroking his fingers through Daisy’s fur. Sarah watched them fondly, revelling in their bout of happiness as they bonded with their puppy.

“This will be good practice for when the two of you have kids,” she chimed in, breaking their little bubble.

“Mum!” Nick choked out, his voice an octave higher than usual.

He could feel a blush rapidly forming, staining his cheeks red. His eyes were wide and he spluttered as he tried to form words, but nothing was coming out. She had caught him so off guard with her comment, stunning him speechless.

“Come on, Nick, our daughter wants to meet all her relatives,” Charlie teased, sensing Nick’s bewildered state, giving him a light shove.

Sarah went ahead of them, gifts in hand that she’d collected from the back seat, leaving a few more behind for Nick to carry. He scooped them up, closing the car door behind him, and followed his mum and Charlie back towards the house.

“Do you think this is funny?” Nick asked, walking close beside Charlie. “I feel like you’re trying to make me nervous or something.”

“Maybe,” Charlie admitted, grinning at him cheekily. “I think you’re kinda cute when you’re all flustered.”

His revelation certainly didn’t help with Nick’s composure, which was probably his intention, and Nick fought with all his might to remain calm as they made their way inside to join their families.

“Tori, Oliver!” Charlie called out, poking his head around the doorframe of the living room. “Come meet your niece!”

“What?!” Tori spluttered from across the room, choking on her diet lemonade.

Michael patted her on the back trying to clear her airway as they all raced into the hallway, Tori’s eyes bulging as she scanned the area before finally settling on Daisy.

“What the fuck is that?!” she exclaimed.

Charlie laughed lightly, smiling at her innocently. “She’s our puppy.”

“Can I hold her?” Oliver gasped, instantly stealing her out of his brother’s arms before Charlie could even answer.

A sudden whack to his shoulder grabbed Charlie’s attention away from Oliver and Daisy playing on the floor of the hallway. Tori was glaring at him intensely, looking thoroughly annoyed. Nick just stood there, mouth slightly agape as he took in the scene in front of him.

“Don’t do that to me!” She fretted. “I thought you had bloody adopted a child!”

Nick turned red again, his fading blush coming back in full force. It was as though they were all in on it, roped in by Charlie to try and turn him into an absolute mess with their comments. Which wasn’t actually true, the only person actively seeking a reaction out of him was his boyfriend, who happened to be sneaking glances at him as Tori babbled on about nonexistent children.

“Don’t you think I’d tell you something like that?” Charlie tried to reason, rolling his eyes.

“Well, you didn’t tell me about this!” she argued, gesturing to Daisy.

“It was meant to be a surprise!”

“I don’t like surprises,” Tori stated, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Well, tough,” Charlie uttered, looping an arm over her shoulder to pull her in for a hug. “You got surprised anyway.”

The day went on with ease after that, everyone wanting a turn at holding and playing with the new member of the family as the festivities carried on into the night.

When it came time for the big Christmas meal, in the early afternoon, Nick saved Charlie a seat at the table like he often did. Charlie slid into it happily, linking their fingers together between them as they tucked into the festive foods. Tori was on Charlie's other side, while Michael and Oliver sat opposite them, the five of them catching up and having fun.

Nick couldn’t keep the array of emotions off his face whenever he spotted Daisy interacting with his older dogs. She tried her best at playing with Henry, following him about all over the house — it wouldn’t be long until she became bigger than him and would have to watch her big puppy feet as she played. She also seemed really fond of Nellie, clambering all over her and snuggling into her fur as the elderly dog dozed by peoples feet.

He managed to get lots of pictures of them all together, just like he’d wanted. Charlie even took some of Nick surrounded by his three dogs, ones that he would cherish greatly and knew would always be so special to him.

After dessert, and exchanging presents with everyone, Nick and Charlie had settled in the lounge with Daisy. They didn’t know when they’d fallen asleep, but they had, letting the party fade around them.

“Take me home?” Charlie asked around a yawn when they both awoke from their slumber, stretching his limbs out and scooping Daisy out of Nick’s arms.

Nick nodded, heaving himself off the couch before helping Charlie to his feet.

They said their goodbyes to everyone with an extended farewell to Sarah, thanking her for the day and the gifts. She hugged them both tightly and stroked the sleeping Daisy on the head before they departed out the door and into the freezing night air.

When they finally arrived home later that evening they crashed together onto their couch in a heap, Charlie’s head laying against Nick’s chest as his own head rested on the back of the couch, tilted up to the ceiling. They were completely worn out, hours of socialising and having fun taking its toll.

There was a ding from beside Nick, his phone lighting up where it sat on the armrest. He picked it up, seeing that Charlie had made a post on Instagram. He scrolled through, smiling at each of the pictures — a series of photos from the day, all of them featuring Nick, Charlie and Daisy.

It had been captioned ‘parents’ with little hearts beside it in red and green, which had Nick’s heart stuttering in his chest. The fact that Charlie had posted it for the whole world to see caused butterflies to flit around inside him and a thousand thoughts to swirl in his head. He breathed in deeply in an attempt to steady himself, his racing mind making his pulse quicken, turning him into a giddy mess.

There had been so many photos and videos taken of them that day, all of them perfect beyond words, but one in particular was missing.

“How come you didn’t post this one?” Nick asked, stretching his arm out in front of Charlie to show him one of his favourites.

It was of the three of them, fast asleep on Sarah’s couch.

Nick had his hand in Charlie’s hair like he often did, the comforting action of playing with his curls having lulled Charlie to sleep. Nick followed shortly after, the steady rhythms of both Charlie and Daisy’s sleepy breaths causing his mind to shut off.

The celebrations had gone on around them, unfazed by the new family of three that were passed out in the middle of the room.

Sarah had snuck the photo of them together on Nick’s phone, wanting to capture the little moment of peace that her son and his boyfriend shared. She’d shown them before they left, told Nick how sweet they all looked and to make sure she got a copy. Nick loved the photo. It was so perfect and domestic, and pictured just how loving and timeless their relationship was. He wanted them to always be that close, and he knew they would be, forever and ever.

He kept looking at it the entire way home, Charlie driving them back as Daisy slept soundly in Nick’s arms.

“I think you know why,” Charlie said, answering Nick’s question.

“But you look so cute!” he whined, his fingers zooming in on Charlie’s face.

He looked so peaceful and relaxed, his cheek smooshed up against Nick’s shoulder and his hair falling over his face in a mess of waves, with his arm draped across Nick’s stomach in a lazy manner. Nick would do anything to have a thousand more photos of his boyfriend looking the way he did in the one his mum captured, there was no way he would ever get tired of it.

“Nick,” Charlie scoffed, “I’m literally drooling.”

Which was true, he was drooling slightly, but Nick thought that added to the charm.

“I think I’ll make it my lock screen,” he concluded, ignoring Charlie’s grumble of protest.

He smiled to himself, he couldn’t wait to look at it every day, to see his little family wherever he happened to be and be reminded of one his favourite Christmases ever.

Both setting their phones down on the coffee table, they snuggled further into the couch with Daisy curled up by their feet in her little bed. The room was warm but they pulled a blanket over the top of them anyway, bringing them an extra bit of comfort.

They fell asleep under the Christmas lights that night, the soft glow illuminating the room as they drifted off. They left the lights up ‘til January, neither one ready to pack away the holiday season for another year.

It was their first Christmas in their home, their first Christmas with their new puppy — they wanted to keep the memories going for as long as they could, so that’s what they did.

Chapter Text

Nick knew this day would come — knew, even before the band had risen in success, that Queer Intentions would one day get the recognition they deserved. He’d been hoping for it, expecting it to come to fruition, especially with how the band's fame had spread globally in the few years they’d been actively making music for the world to hear. Everyone loved and adored them, so much so that it almost didn’t feel real, and Nick couldn’t be prouder of Charlie.

It was merely a week after New Years that Nick heard a loud squeal coming from their bedroom, the tea in his ‘world’s best boyfriend’ mug sloshing out the sides as he jumped at the sound.

Charlie had given him the mug back when he was in university, the letters painted on in a cerulean blue. It was a bit wonky and the words a little off centre, but that’s what Nick loved about it — handcrafted by his doting boyfriend. 

His uni flatmates had teased him when they first saw it, thinking he’d made it himself to keep up the ruse of having a boyfriend, who they were convinced didn’t exist. They could think what they wanted — nothing could put a damper on the giddy feelings that swirled in his chest whenever he used it or the memory of Charlie’s slightly nervous smile when he gifted it to Nick, safely wrapped up in a little box.

“Nick!” Charlie shrieked, his voice echoing through the house.

He hurriedly put his mug down on the kitchen bench, stumbling as he bounded out of the room, narrowly missing Daisy in his haphazard rush. She was still just a tiny puppy, but they could both tell she was going to have quite the exuberant personality as she got bigger, rarely tiring from her playful antics.

Crashing through the door of their bedroom, Daisy close at his heels as she chased after him, his eyes scanned the space wildly as if looking for signs of danger. There was nothing out of the ordinary, no threats he could see, just Charlie standing in the centre of the room, phone clutched in his hand and a wide smile spread across his face.

“What’s happened?” Nick asked, his voice laced with trepidation, still uncertain if there was something he needed to be worried about, despite his boyfriend's obvious elation.

“We got nominated,” was all Charlie said, his eyes wide and glistening, a nervous excitement radiating off of him.

Nick’s eyebrows knitted together, not quite grasping what his boyfriend was telling him.

“What?” He blinked, trying to process the words. “What do you mean?”

“For the BRIT Awards,” Charlie elaborated, his smile growing even wider. “Queer Intentions got nominated!”

Nick let out an excited noise, similarly matching the squeal that Charlie had emitted moments before, as he closed the distance between them, not wasting a second to wrap Charlie in his arms.

“I’m so proud of you!” he exclaimed, hugging Charlie tight and lifting him slightly off the ground.

Charlie was busy giggling away in his ear, the sound sending tingles down his spine as they swayed together. The moment was so blissful and electrifying, a time of great significance that he didn’t want Charlie to ever forget.

Setting his feet back on the ground, Nick wasted no time in capturing Charlie’s lips with his own, pouring all of his proudness and admiration into the kiss.

“I knew you’d be nominated for an award!” Nick gushed after they broke apart, his fingers tugging slightly where they had tangled in Charlie’s messy morning hair.

“Well, actually…” Charlie began, leaning into his boyfriend’s touch as he bit his bottom lip to try to hide his obvious grin. “It’s awards, plural.”

At the amended declaration, Nick lifted him into his arms once again — even tighter than before as they spun around, Charlie clinging to Nick’s shoulders. Peppering a slew of kisses into Charlie’s cheek, his boyfriend's continued laughter reached Nick’s ears in a sweet melody, their hearts joining in with their own rhythm.

“You deserve this so much, Char!” Nick beamed, putting a halt to the spinning to steady them both before they could topple over but not letting Charlie go. “Have you spoken to the others?”

Charlie nuzzled closer, letting out a content breath as he pressed a gentle kiss to the junction of Nick’s neck and shoulder.

“Not yet,” he revealed. “I was too busy wanting to tell you.”

“Go phone them,” Nick encouraged as they locked eyes, knowing Charlie would be eager to share in the excitement with his bandmates. "This is your moment!”

With one last lingering kiss, Charlie pulled away and reached for his phone that had dropped unceremoniously to the floor during their embrace. Before Nick knew it, a series of screams and shouts were erupting from the small device, filling the room with unbridled elation as his boyfriend’s band celebrated together in the news.

Nick was beyond excited for them, the sound of Charlie’s happiness doubling his own as he relished in the moment.

All four of them were still buzzing a month later when the day of the BRITs finally came around, Nick tagging along beside them, equally as chuffed. They each brought along a plus-one, the three others aside from Nick being Aleena’s sister, Jay’s dad and Elle.

Elle had been ecstatic when Sahar had asked her at one of their film nights, already planning what she was going to wear. Tao was less pleased, grumbling about how he had to miss out simply because Charlie was going to be taking Nick. 

“Did you really think he wouldn’t be taking Nick?” Elle scoffed, reaching for the cupcakes that Nick and Charlie had baked earlier that afternoon.

“I just thought, maybe, I’d get a bit of appreciation for being such a supportive friend,” Tao explained, folding his arms over his chest, looking mildly offended.

“I do appreciate you, Tao.” Charlie rolled his eyes, playfully chucking a piece of popcorn at his friend from where he sat curled up on the couch beside Nick. “You can tag along next time, I’ll make sure I get a plus- two.”

Tara had jumped in after that, suggesting that Tao join her and Darcy at their place to watch the big event on the telly, offering the same to Aled who was nestled comfily on a beanbag by the snack table.

“Wouldn’t miss it!” Aled smiled, giving Tara a thumbs up.

“Ugh, fine!” Tao sighed heavily in defeat, plucking the piece of discarded popcorn up off the floor where it had landed and tossing it back at Charlie, only for it to hit Nick in the face instead. “But I expect to be mentioned in your thank you speech when you win!”

“If we win,” Charlie corrected, slumping further down into the couch to rest his cheek against Nick’s arm.

He hadn’t been wanting to get his hopes up, didn’t want to be too disheartened if it didn’t happen, even though everyone had been assuring him for days that it would. Nick understood of course, it would be an utter bummer to have one's expectations too high only to find out that, actually, someone else had won instead. Charlie was, for now, trying to be content with just being nominated, though Nick could tell he was still brimming with anticipation about the potential looming achievement.

“Don’t be so negative!” Tara chided. “You’re nominated for, what, three awards?”

“Four,” Sahar clarified, grinning happily from where she sat on the floor in front of Tara who was busy braiding her hair. 

“See, the odds are definitely in your favour! I bet it will happen!”

“Oh, we’re placing bets, are we?” Darcy cut in, striding into the room with a jug of some alcoholic concoction she’d made. “Much like the time we bet on whether Nick and Charlie would get married first!”

Charlie had choked slightly on a mouthful of crisps that he’d pilfered from the bowl on Nick’s lap, clearly taken aback by the comment. He hadn’t been privy to that information like Nick had, unaware that their friends placed bets on the status of their relationship.

Nick, however, had found out months beforehand when Tara had been interrogating him about marriage and whether that was in his and Charlie’s future. Though, that knowledge didn’t change the fact that he had stopped moving altogether, not even daring to take a breath as he sat wide-eyed behind his borderline panicked boyfriend.

Neither of them said anything, both just sitting frozen on the couch as their friends joked around them, seemingly oblivious to the turmoil they’d caused to swirl in Nick’s head. He couldn’t tell what Charlie was thinking, could barely see his face to gauge his expression, which ultimately addled his brain even more.

Tentatively he reached a hand over, brushing his thumb gently against the back of Charlie’s hand that rested atop his thigh. Charlie tilted his head back at the touch, looking up at Nick with a nervous but sweet smile. He linked their hands together, fiddling with Nick’s fingers as they just watched each other, neither of them daring to utter a word.

“Still shocked that hasn’t happened yet, by the way,” Darcy continued as she slurped on her drink. “Look at you two! Absolute saps.”

She wouldn’t have been shocked to find out that Nick and Charlie were still as sappy as ever when they made their way onto the red carpet at O2 Arena, hands intertwined as they exchanged loving looks. Nick could picture his friends huddled together in front of the television, giggling and teasing the pair through the screen.

It was an odd feeling, knowing that practically the whole world was watching at that moment, various cameras pointed at them and the other guests in attendance. He felt rather out of place amongst all the glamour, not used to being in a setting like the one he found himself in. 

The band and Elle certainly did well at fitting in, looking the part in all of their striking outfits. Nick thought he looked fairly ordinary next to them all, if he was being honest, but it was obvious that Charlie didn’t agree with that sentiment since he seemed to be having a tough time keeping his eyes to himself.

“You’re staring,” Nick remarked playfully, pulling Charlie closer to himself so that their shoulders brushed as they walked.

“Can’t help it,” Charlie confessed, leaning forward to softly kiss Nick’s cheek. “You look really good right now.”

“I look good?” he gasped. “Have you seen yourself?!”

Nick had been swooning over Charlie dressed up in his dazzling blue suit ever since they got ready earlier that evening. The outfit brought out the colour in his eyes, making them appear brighter than ever. His shirt was slightly open at the top, where Nick could catch glimpses of the silver chain donned with the ‘N’ pendant that Charlie had surprised him with months before, glistening in the light of the cameras that flashed around them.

His heart thudded faster in his chest and hindered his ability to breathe, forcing him to try to steady himself in an effort to not look like a fool on live television, which was ultimately a failure because his sights were entirely glued to his immensely attractive boyfriend.

It was obvious that Charlie knew the effect he had on Nick, eyeing him with a knowing smirk whenever he caught the blonde looking.

“Yes, I have, actually,” Charlie replied, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair into place, his fingers deftly tracing back down the side of Nick’s face. “And I think you look better.”

Nick gulped, he could feel his cheeks heating up at the small yet intimate notion. “Are you trying to seduce me, Charles?”

Charlie smiled at him, faking innocence, letting his hand fall back down by his side, his other still firmly holding Nick’s.

“Maybe,” he muttered cheekily before he turned on his heel and tugged a slightly flustered Nick along behind him.

The group stopped occasionally for photos but otherwise just chatted amiably as they lingered in the carpeted area, a sea of fans cheering from behind the barricades. Nick watched on, alongside Elle, as Charlie and the band got some pictures captured of just the four of them, in awe of how at ease and in his element he looked. Fame suited Charlie well, as much as he tried to deny it — he just fit.

Nick thought it was plainly obvious that he didn’t fit when he spotted one celebrity in particular several metres ahead of them, causing his eyes to widen exponentially. He lost his footing as Charlie ushered him along, tripping up on himself and bumping into Sahar.

Charlie managed to help steady him slightly before their friend toppled over from the stumble, who in turn was being steadied by Aleena.

“You okay Nick?” Sahar asked as she righted her dress, unfazed by the near bisexual-pile-up that they’d somehow managed to avoid.

“Y-yeah. Fine. Swell.” Nick stammered out, failing to sound even slightly convincing.

“You don’t look very swell…” Jay cut in, their eyebrows raised.

They were all watching him questionably, trying to figure out what had caused his sudden ruffled demeanour. He could barely find the words, mouth opening and closing as he stared ahead of himself at the dark-haired American.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Charlie following his eyeline, and then a moment of realisation when he finally spotted her.

“He saw Zooey Deschanel,” Charlie explained, chuckling lightly as he turned back around to straighten Nick’s jacket that had gone a bit askew.

She was most definitely one of his top celebrity crushes, one he used to have on a poster taped to his bedroom wall. It was not helped by the fact that she reminded him a bit of Charlie, which had been pointed out to him by Tao back in sixth form, as well as several other crushes of his.

“Fair enough,” Aleena nodded, seemingly agreeing with the reasoning behind Nick’s little mishap, as Elle was busy laughing over the situation. 

Just as Nick was allowing his mind to settle — looking anywhere but at Zooey Deschanel and trying to focus on Charlie’s hand that was rubbing calmingly across his arm — he froze in place, gripping tightly at the cuff of Charlie’s jacket.

“Oh, god,” he muttered as his breath hitched.

Charlie, who was now looking at him with a mixture of concern and amusement, continued with his soothing touch on Nick’s arm as he attempted to coax him back into reality.

“You’ve stopped breathing, Nick, what’s the matter now?”

“H-Henry Maddox!” he choked out, eyes even wider than before.

The scholar and former keyboard player of the band Spare Parts was walking straight towards them, a devilish smile on his face as he strutted up the red carpet.

“How do I look, is my hair okay?” Nick asked, hastily fiddling with the strands of hair that fell over his forehead.

“Yes, my boyfriend’s hair looks good enough to attract a middle-aged man.” Charlie rolled his eyes but looked as though he was trying to hold back a laugh.

He ignored Charlie’s little quip, still messing with his hair and brushing down the front of his jacket as he kept an eye on the older man's whereabouts.

“Oh, fuck, he’s coming over!” Nick blurted out, his voice panicked.

“Relax, Nick, you’ve met him before,” Charlie told him, though it sounded almost like he was trying to convince himself, taking a deep calming breath as he did so.

It was true, they had met him before, but only briefly at a classics talk and signing back in secondary school. This was different, it felt far more significant due to the fact that the Henry Maddox was approaching them at one of the biggest events of the year. Nick felt like his chest was about to explode from nerves and excitement

“Hi, love,” Henry announced as he came closer, smiling dazzlingly between Charlie and a visibly stunned Nick.

“Oh, um, hi!” Nick choked out, cheeks bright red as he waved awkwardly from where he stood beside his far too nonchalant looking boyfriend.

“You must be Charlie Spring,” he surmised, turning to Charlie. “I’m a big fan of your music.”

“O-oh! Thank you!” Charlie stuttered in surprise, his composure faltering as a blush crept up his neck to match Nick’s. “I’m a big fan of yours too! Music and classics, I mean.”

Henry smiled at that, not mentioning it if he noticed either of their flustered appearances.

“A man of many interests!” Henry noted with a smouldering look. “We should have a chat someday, I’d love to hear your thoughts on my newest book if you’re interested.”

“Yes!” Charlie exclaimed instantly, before realising his outburst and rushing to calm his tone. “I-I mean, uh, yes, that would be great!”

Dragging his sight away from the older man, Nick turned and smiled at Charlie, just watching him as he continued to anxiously converse with Henry. Charlie had been a fan for far longer than Nick, and the knowledge that Henry was a fan of his own must have been a pivotal moment for him, one he was not likely to ever forget.

He looked awestruck as he spoke to the scholar, his cheeks flushed and his eyes dancing in the flashing lights that went off around them. There would no doubt be photos of the three of them together, decked out in some of their finest clothes, Nick and Charlie both looking utterly nervous.

Faintly, Nick could hear Henry saying goodbye and his presence disappearing, leaving just the two of them once again. His eyes were still trained on Charlie, watching him fondly as he slowly took in the situation that had occurred.

“That did not just happen,” Charlie murmured after a moment, eyes wide and mouth agape.

Nick chuckled lightly, still a little dazed himself from the encounter and the look of wonder that was etched onto his boyfriend's face.

“He wants my thoughts on his book…” Charlie said in bewilderment, as though the development hadn’t quite hit him yet. He turned abruptly to Nick, pointing a firm finger in his direction. “You are not coming with me, by the way!”

“What! Why?” Nick whined, pouting dramatically.

“I won’t have you ogling him while I’m trying to have a sophisticated conversation about classics!” Charlie told him matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Nick sighed heavily in defeat. “Fine.”

“Fine?” he repeated, eyebrows furrowing as though he’d thought Nick would put up more of a fight.

“Yeah,” Nick confirmed, a smile gracing his lips. “It’s gonna be a big moment for you, you can tell me all about it after. Besides, I’d rather be ogling you anyway.”

Charlie grinned at him, leaning up on his toes to press a quick kiss to Nick’s cheek.

“Dork,” he chuckled, clasping their hands together again and dragging Nick along behind himself to catch up with their friends.

Charlie’s bandmates were standing near the barricades, fans reaching across with wild hands and shoving phones in their faces. Cameras were going off everywhere as Nick and Charlie approached, hand-in-hand, the incessant flashes of light dazing to the eyes.

They shuffled further into the chaos, the cacophony of cheers and screams and his boyfriend's name only getting louder. Nick sidled up as close to Charlie as he could get, fingers locked together and shoulders bumping as they walked. It was a comfort to him, having Charlie so close, something that offered him a little sense of ease in the midst of feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Charlie didn’t look too worried as he smiled and waved, far more used to it by now after years of dealing with fans. He tugged gently on Nick’s hand where they were connected, the two of them moving together as they continued along the barricade, Charlie interacting and signing a few items as they went.

Nick could hear his own name amongst the shouting, mixed with a series of both sweet and heartless mutterings weaved between. It was one thing for people to write stuff online, hidden behind a screen as they spouted their aversion, but it was another entirely to speak such harsh words into the same air that he breathed where he and Charlie could easily intercept it.

“Ugh, look, he brought his clingy little boyfriend with him!” he heard one person say, the words cutting through the noise that filled the area and making his face fall.

He didn’t know who had said it, there were too many people making it difficult to discern one face from another, but there was no doubt in his mind that it was directed at him. They were in each other's space, like they always were, his fingers clutching at Charlie’s tightly and his chest pressed up against Charlie’s back, their feet moving in time with one another as they followed behind the others towards the main doors of the building. 

They were just jealous, Charlie had assured him several times before when people had gotten a little too brave with the things they said. He knew it was probably true, but that didn’t stop the words from cutting a little deeper each time he heard them, twisting in his gut at the possibility that they might be right.

Beneath the voices that plagued his mind he knew the truth, he and Charlie were always like that, had been for as long as they’d been together. Neither one wanted to be separated from the other, always finding a way to be close and connected. But as the thoughts overflowed in his head, he couldn’t help but feel like he should be giving Charlie some space.

He began to slowly pull away, his feet falling behind as their arms outstretched between them. Charlie turned around just as their fingers were about to break apart, looking at him questioningly yet full of love.

“Where are you going?” he asked gently as he closed the space between them, intertwining their fingers again before Nick could slip too far away. “I want you here, with me.”

The words were so reassuring, settling in his chest and making his pulse jump. He nodded infinitesimally, trying to fight back his nerves as he forced a small smile.

Charlie’s thumb stroked over the back of his hand, his other arm wrapping securely around Nick’s arm to hug him close. Every time Nick overheard someone else muttering something, Charlie squeezed his hand a little tighter, letting Nick know that he was hearing them too, that he wasn’t going to let go.

They made their way inside the venue, away from the bustle of fans and photographers that didn’t want to leave them alone. Their friends disappeared into the crowd ahead of them, heading off to find their seats. Just as Nick thought they would be following suit, Charlie led them away, pulling Nick out of the flow of people that crowded within the building.

The pair stopped once they reached an empty hallway, the commotion of the attendees fading out into a dull mumble of sound. There was a moment where neither of them said anything as Charlie rhythmically rubbed circles into Nick’s hand, soothing him.

“You okay?” Charlie asked softly, putting an end to the silence.

Nick didn’t know for certain what he was feeling, too many thoughts and voices in his head for it to be clear.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he spoke the first thing that came to the forefront of his mind. “Do you think I’m being too clingy?”

“What? Of course not!” Charlie assured him quickly, his face turning into a frown. “I want us to be affectionate in front of people, I want to hold your hand and kiss and make you feel safe.”

“You’re sure? Because what those people said—”

“You shouldn’t let them get to you, Nick,” Charlie sighed, cutting him off. “They’re not worth it.”

Charlie was right, of course he was. But it just didn’t feel that simple.

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbled quietly, staring down at his shoes as he allowed his thoughts to form. “But it’s hard to ignore them when they’re constantly saying things about me. I hear people whispering about how I’m ‘bad’ for you, even though they know nothing about me.”

Fidgeting with his sleeve he lifted his gaze to meet Charlie’s, who was looking at him sympathetically.

“Everyone thinks that they know us but they don’t,” Charlie began, an air of frustration forming around him as he spoke, the truth of his own words settling between them. “They just say things because they’re jealous, because they’re miserable people who take pleasure out of putting others down. I hear it all too, you know, it’s difficult to shut out sometimes. But in the end, none of them matter.”

It was obvious he wanted Nick to believe him, to realise that there would always be people like those who found joy in belittling others out in the world. The reasoning behind why they were cruel was clear, no matter how unjustified it was.

Nick nodded, knowing Charlie was right — about all of it.

He was still fairly new to the world of fame, to being in the spotlight. He’d spent so long not being in the public eye, not fully understanding the things that Charlie went through to get to where he was, that he felt like maybe he wasn’t built for that kind of life. He wanted to be built for it, so badly, to be by Charlie’s side through it all — but it was moments like this that the small thought grew, making him feel helpless and weak.

“You look like you want to say something else,” Charlie noted, peering up at Nick whose eyes were downcast once again. “What is it? You can tell me.”

It took all the courage he could muster to say it, to finally put it out into the universe for Charlie to hear. But he had to. He knew he wouldn’t be able to overcome it if he didn’t.

“It’s just… You’ve created this whole new world, and sometimes I wonder if I even fit.” Nick gulped, allowing the words to flow free. “Most of the time I love it, love experiencing all of this with you — but other times I just feel so out of place, like I’m not meant to be a part of it.”

The way Charlie looked at him then was so loving, so understanding, that it made his heart ache inside his chest. He closed his eyes as he took in a shaky breath, feeling the sting of unshed tears.

“Hey, look at me,” Charlie murmured, cupping Nick’s face in his hands. “It’s just us, you and me. You’re my whole world, Nick — not the fans or the fame or any of it. Just you.”

He let out a small whimper at his boyfriend's words and the first of the tears broke free, trickling down the skin of his cheek.

“You’re certain?” He sniffed.

Charlie smiled at him as he carefully brushed his thumbs against Nick’s face, clearing away the tears that continued to fall. “More certain than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

Leaning forward, Charlie closed the space between them as he pressed a kiss onto Nick’s lips. Nick didn’t know why but he let out a small giggle when Charlie pulled away, as though a simple kiss had been all he needed in order to be cheered up.

“I was telling the truth before, you know,” Charlie told him, running his hands down the sides of Nick’s neck to rest firmly on his shoulders. “I want you to be here, like, I need you to be here. I don’t want to do any of this without you.”

Nick smiled at him, believing every word that he spoke, feeling suddenly at ease despite the turmoil he had just faced moments before.

“God, you’re so obsessed with me,” he teased lightly as he fiddled with the collar of Charlie’s shirt, his face still blotchy from his tears. “I don’t know how you ever used to do these events without me.”

“Me? Obsessed with you? ” Charlie gaspsed, feigning shock.

“What?” Nick laughed, stilling his movements when his fingers brushed against the silver chain around his boyfriend’s neck. “Did I get that wrong or something?”

“No,” Charlie sighed in defeat, rolling his eyes. “I’m definitely a bit obsessed with you.”

Slowly, Nick reached his fingers up, tracing along Charlie’s jaw before tilting his chin so that their lips were mere inches apart. Their hot breaths mingled between them and Nick watched, transfixed, as Charlie’s gaze flickered between his eyes and mouth.

Nick didn’t know who had leaned in first, his thoughts drifting away as soon as their lips touched, the gentleness of the kiss warming his entire body. They were both lost in it, all of their earlier worries slipping into a void as the moments passed between them, hands caressing one another as their mouths danced in sync.

Eventually, the familiar sound of the opening music echoed around them, pulling them out of their haze. Nick reluctantly broke away, resting his forehead against Charlie’s as they both panted to catch their breaths, lips swollen and bodies tingling.

“Should we…” Nick started, attempting to collect his thoughts as his heart hammered away in his chest. “Should we be getting back? You don’t want to be late if you win.”

“I don’t care,” Charlie uttered, eyes still closed as he reconnected their lips for another quick kiss. “I just want to be here with you.”

The sincerity of the sentiment made Nick feel lightheaded as butterflies flitted around his heart from hearing the words. He knew Charlie had meant it, that he would rather just be alone with Nick than anywhere else — and Nick wanted that too, more than anything. But they had their whole lives for that, to escape the world and be alone with each other.  Nights like this one didn’t come around very often, and Nick didn’t want Charlie to miss any of it, even for him.

“No.” Nick shook his head, an encouraging smile forming on his lips. “You have to go, you can’t miss this!”

“Fine.” Charlie sighed but he made no move to leave, leaning in again so that their lips brushed as he spoke. “Just… one more kiss first.”

Nick gave in to the request, kissing Charlie back with equal fervour as they got lost in each other all over again. The single kiss turned into several, the night continuing on without them as neither one dared to pull away from the other for more than a second, not wanting it to end.

Just as they separated for a brief moment of air, a throat cleared loudly behind them, startling them out of their blissful states. Turning their heads to spot the intruder, their sights landed on Sahar, standing there with an eyebrow raised and a humorous look on her face.

“Sorry for interrupting,” she sniggered. “Just wanted to let you know they’ll be announcing the first awards any minute.”

They both stared at her wide-eyed, stunned that they’d been caught during their little private moment. Hurriedly, Nick adjusted his slightly crumpled clothes, attempting to gain a semblance of composure — though he was fairly certain his hair was a right mess if the state of Charlie’s was any indication.

“Right, okay.” Charlie nodded, clearing his throat and looking insanely flustered as he glanced between Nick and Sahar. “We should go.”

Nick hummed his agreement, stumbling alongside Charlie as they followed their friend out of the hallway. They fixed each other's hair, one after the other, as they went — Charlie’s curls being far easier to put back into place than Nick’s own hair which insisted on spiking up at weird angles due to the way Charlie had run his fingers through it moments before.

Charlie’s hand grazed Nick’s as they wandered side-by-side, sneaking glances and little smiles at each other every time they touched.

“You know you have a hotel room you can do that in later, right?” Sahar teased over her shoulder as she continued to lead the way.

“Sahar!” Charlie choked out, mouth agape.

Nick was busy blushing profusely, but still, when he looked at Charlie he couldn’t help but smirk in his direction.

“Shut up!” Charlie muttered, giving Nick a light shove.

“I didn’t even say anything!” Nick gasped in offence, still smiling goofily at his boyfriend.

They burst through the door where the ceremony was taking place, attempting to keep quiet as they scurried in. Anyone paying close attention would have noted their absence, or the fact that they had snuck in twenty minutes later than they were supposed to. They tried their best to duck out of the way of all the people and cameras that scattered the room, making their way to where the band and their plus-ones had been seated.

“What happened? Where were you?” Aleena whispered to Charlie as they finally slipped into their seats.

“I found them making out in an empty hallway,” Sahar informed the table, trying and failing to suppress a laugh.

“Of course they were,” said Jay, chuckling along with Sahar.

None of them looked surprised, almost like they’d been expecting it to happen some time during the night — which Nick couldn’t really blame them for, he and Charlie had been escaping parties and the like for as long as they’d been together.

“We just needed a moment to ourselves,” Charlie explained simply, placing his hand face-up on the table for Nick to easily intertwine their fingers.

They held each other as the evening continued on, laughter and cheering filling the space. The pair hadn’t missed much during their little detour, their friends filling them in on all the details during short breaks.

As the minutes ticked by and it became time for the band's first nominated category of Best Rock/Alternative Act, Nick could practically feel the nerves radiating off of his boyfriend. Charlie was chewing on his lip and bouncing his knee in anticipation as his hand gripped tightly at Nick’s.

Nick gave his hand a quick squeeze in return, smiling at him reassuringly. He could see how anxious Charlie was about the impending announcement, all the months of him brushing it off now meaningless as they awaited the reveal. Nominations themselves were such an achievement, something to be incredibly proud of — but the thought of possibly winning even one single award that night was out of this world, almost like they’d dreamt it up.

It felt as though it took hours just for the nominees to be listed aloud for everyone to hear, the crowd clapping and cheering for each one — though Nick was certain the applause was even stronger for Queer Intentions, the sound filling his ears.

Charlie stilled as the presenter peeled open the envelope, his leg ceasing its movement. He was holding his breath, Nick could tell, the usual signs of inhaling and exhaling nonexistent as he waited on the edge of his seat.

“And the award goes to…” the presenter began, carefully pulling the card out of the envelope. “Queer Intentions!”

The audience erupted into applause again, the noise louder than ever. People were standing from their seats and the cameras were all redirected to their table, the focus entirely on them. The band were all wearing looks of overwhelming shock and elation, like they couldn’t quite believe it was their name written on the card.

Charlie turned to face Nick, a look of relief and happiness written across his features. He reached forward, twisting the fabric of Nick’s jacket in his hand, pulling Nick towards himself as he leaned in. Their lips crashed together, taking Nick by surprise, the culmination of Charlie’s emotions taking over.

They kissed each other with everything they had in them, their lips melding together as though they were built for one another, a moment of celebration between the two of them as the uproar of cheers spread throughout the room.

When they finally pulled apart, Nick playfully shoved Charlie in the direction of the stage so as to not miss another second of being able to bask in the moment with his bandmates. The four of them hugged each other as they went, grinning widely all the way up to the podium where their award was waiting for them.

Nick had been so sure that it would happen, that they would win. Queer Intentions was so loved, so revered, that it only made sense they would be awarded for their talent and hard work.

They all took turns uttering their appreciation and gratitude, thanking friends and family and everyone who had worked with them for their unwavering support over the years.

Charlie was last, stepping up to the microphone with the trophy in hand. Even from where he was seated, Nick could see the flush to Charlie’s cheeks, prominent in the spotlight that lit him up like the sun and reflected off the chain on his neck.

He spoke so eloquently, his words creating their own melody, even in the short time he had. He mentioned his siblings, Tori and Oliver, two of his biggest supporters — even slipped a little something in about Tao like he had promised, laughing lightly to himself as he did so.

And then his eyes met Nick’s. His gaze was so soft and gentle even through the dim light that settled over the audience and the distance that separated them from one another. Nick didn’t dare to look away, keeping his eyeline locked on Charlie’s and smiling up at him proudly.

“I also want to thank Nick,” Charlie added, his lips tugging into a loving smile. 

The instant Charlie said his name, everything stopped. Nothing else mattered but the man on stage, delicately speaking words into the space between them as though they were sharing a secret moment and not in a crowded room.

“You’ve been by my side through everything,” he continued, his voice filled with emotion. “Words can’t even express how much that means to me.”

When Charlie stepped away from the podium he was still looking at Nick, his hand over his heart. He mouthed something then, a sentiment they had both shared for seven years, one they hoped to continue sharing until the end of time.

“I love you,” Charlie had whispered, the words just for Nick.

Tears pricked at Nick’s eyes and his heart thrummed in his chest, the overwhelming feelings of adoration and devotion taking hold of him.

“I love you too,” he mouthed back.

All the doubts and fears that he’d had in the past, and earlier that evening, were worth it to him if he got to experience even an ounce of Charlie’s affections, to know what it felt like to be loved by him and to love him back just the same. They had been through so much together already, and Nick wanted nothing more than to get to go through everything else with Charlie, whatever it may be.

When Charlie finally returned to his seat, Nick wasted no time in wrapping his arms around him, their hearts beating in time as they held each other close. Charlie hummed blissfully against him, pressing a small kiss to the side of Nick’s neck. It didn’t matter that people were no doubt watching or that camera’s could be too, there was only them.

Things only got better as the night carried on. Queer Intentions’ other three nominations were Song, Album, and Artist of the year, the latter two catching them all off guard when it was announced that they had won, being some of the most highly anticipated awards of the evening.

They were all tripping over themselves as they made their way back to the stage that final time, drunk on the excitement of it all and completely taken aback by the news. The four of them expressed even more gratitude, brimming with the overwhelming thrill of it all, unable to keep the smiles off their faces.

Three out of four of their nominations had been won by them that evening, far more than any of them had ever expected. They were still so new in their career, and so young too, yet they’d managed to achieve something phenomenal with their success. 

Their whole group was buzzing as the ceremony came to an end and the late hours of the night evolved into the BRITs after party. Nick’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much, both from the events of the evening and watching Charlie celebrate with his bandmates, bouncing between the dancefloor and the bar.

“We should go home,” Charlie slurred as he stumbled into Nick’s lap a couple hours after midnight.

Amusement was etched onto Nick’s face as he slid his arms around his boyfriend’s middle, holding him steady as he swayed, the dim lights creating a glow around him and making him look ethereal.

“Home?” Nick chuckled. “Char, we’re in London right now.”

“Hotel then,” he amended, leaning forward and nuzzling his head into the crook of Nick’s neck.

“Are you drunk?”

There was a hint of laughter in Nick’s tone as he ran his fingers through Charlie’s dark hair. They’d been at the party for nearly four hours already and had probably had far too many drinks as they mingled and danced.

“No.” Charlie mumbled innocently, his voice slightly muffled by Nick’s shoulder.

“You’re definitely drunk.” Nick teased.

“I am not!” He shook his head, accidentally knocking it against Nick’s.

Charlie groaned from the collision and Nick rolled his eyes, shifting his hand that was buried in his boyfriend's hair to rub soothingly at the spot that was no doubt aching beneath his curls.

“Pretty sure you are,” he attested quietly, leaning down to place a kiss on Charlie’s shoulder.

They stayed there a little while longer, Charlie relaxing into his boyfriend’s touch as Nick played with his hair and drew circles on his back. It was so nice, so comforting, like a small feeling of home in a far away place.

“Are you sure you want to leave?” Nick asked him, referring back to Charlie’s earlier request. “This is such a huge night for you all, I don’t want you to miss it.”

Charlie pulled back, lifting his head to look at Nick, his voice gentle and a soft smile on his face. “I’m sure. I just want to be with you.”

Nick nodded, smiling back at him sweetly.

He helped Charlie up, steadying him as he wobbled on his feet, wrapping an arm around his torso as Charlie’s own arm slipped lazily over his shoulder. They waved goodbye to their friends, Nick’s grasp on his boyfriend never loosening as they departed the building, stepping into the cold night air.

The entire drive back to the hotel they talked about the highlights of the evening and an abundance of nonsensical things that had them both giggling in each other's arms. They uttered sweet nothings to one another as they stepped through the threshold of their room and collapsed onto the plush bed, punctuating each notion of love with a kiss.

The night had turned into everything they’d dreamed of, despite the moment of uncertainty that had unfolded. If they could, they’d do it all over again for it to turn out the way it had, but for now they were content just to be tangled together, finally alone.

Chapter Text

Nick honestly didn’t know why he had signed up for it. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, something fun for him to get involved with, but now he was regretting his decision.

He’d been the first to put his hand up at the staff meeting that morning, liking the idea and remembering how exciting it was when he was a kid. Some of the other teachers had offered to help out after he volunteered, though he wasn’t sure if that was genuine interest or if they just wanted to nab an opportunity at getting closer to him, yet again, and simultaneously to Charlie.

The uncertainty of it all had led him to the abrupt decision to single handedly organise the entire thing, telling everyone that he was more than capable — which, by the time the evening came around, he realised was not the case.

“You okay?” Charlie asked when he arrived home to find Nick sprawled out on the floor of their living room, laptop open and a mess of paper strewn across the coffee table.

He’d been out all day with the band, doing interviews and the like for their upcoming album release. It was supposed to be a good day for Charlie, something exciting, which ultimately made Nick feel a bit silly for putting a damper on that with his moping the moment Charlie walked in the door.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Are you sure?” Charlie prodded him with his foot, making Nick meet his eyes instead. “You look a little sulky.”

“I said I’d organise the school disco,” he revealed.

“Oh?” Charlie furrowed his eyebrows, looking a little confused. “Is that a bad thing?”

Nick heaved himself into a sitting position, shaking his head as he did so, and Charlie crouched down beside him, his hand moving to rest comfortingly on Nick’s shoulder.

“No. I wanted to do it.” Nick admitted, breathing out yet another sigh. “It’s just… there’s a lot more to do than I thought.”

He explained that he was the only teacher working on it, to which Charlie quickly understood his reasoning as to why he wanted to do it alone. It would have ended up a nightmare if Nick had to deal with his nosy colleagues, or worse, if they decided to come waltzing into his and Charlie’s home on the pretence of work just to snoop around and possibly see Charlie in his place of safety and comfort.

Boundaries was something a handful of them seemed to be unfamiliar with, especially when it came to celebrities — especially when it came to Charlie.

On top of keeping his colleagues at arm’s length, he had to get in contact with parents who were part of the PTA. He hoped they wouldn’t be as intrusive as those he worked with but the odds of that were not in his favour if previous interactions were anything to go by. Most of them seemed to have their priorities straight, but some certainly appeared to be more interested in his relationship than the education and wellbeing of their own children.

There was food and drinks to organise, as well as things like glow sticks, finger lights and face paint, which he needed to talk to parents about who had past experience with school functions. Nick wanted all the students to have fun, to remember how enjoyable the night would hopefully be and think back on it as one of the best evenings they’d had while at primary school — but it was definitely a lot of work.

Nick closed his eyes, tilting his body to the side to rest his head against Charlie’s shoulder, the plush fabric of his jumper acting like a pillow and bringing him comfort. They sat there a moment, silent as Charlie’s hand gravitated up into Nick’s hair, twisting gently in his blonde locks.

“Are your students helping?” Charlie asked, putting an end to the quietude.

“Hmm?” Nick hummed in question, eyes still closed.

“The poster.” Charlie clarified, carefully shifting away from Nick so that he didn’t topple over from the loss of his pseudo-headrest and reaching over to pluck a piece of scribbled on paper off the table. “Did one of your students make it?”

Nick blinked at him, looking entirely disheartened as his eyes flicked between the bit of paper and his boyfriend.

“What?” he spluttered, his face becoming a frown. “No, I made it!”

“Oh! Well, it looks great!” Charlie smiled at him encouragingly.

It was essentially just a bunch of squiggly lines and doodles that looked nothing like what they were meant to be. Nick could’ve easily passed it off as a concept drawing because of how simple it appeared, but really he’d spent a good chunk of his afternoon focusing on it, just for it to look like it would be better off in the bin.

“You’re such a liar!” Nick huffed, folding his arms over his chest. “I know it’s bad.”

“It’s not! It’s just a little…” Charlie took a brief moment to ponder his words, “uh, rushed?”

Nick rolled his eyes, not believing Charlie one bit but appreciating the attempt at making him feel better about his failed artwork.

“You’ve got a bit of time to work on it, Nick,” Charlie reminded him, reading the date that had been scrawled across the top of the poster. “If you really need to, you could always text Elle to help with that, I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Fine, I guess you’re right.” Nick agreed, scooting over to the table to scribble a quick note of Elle’s name in capital letters onto the back of the piece of paper that had just been in his boyfriend's grasp.

It made sense to get people to help out in the areas that he struggled, and even more sense to ask those that he was close to and would be more than happy to lend a hand. He had a big task ahead of him, one he endeavoured to get perfect in the weeks leading up to the disco.

“What’s next on your list?” Charlie mused, looking over all the other bits of paper that covered their table in its entirety.

“Music.” Nick groaned, collapsing back onto the floor in a sullen heap.

“That doesn’t sound too hard.”

“Yeah, but I can’t just make a playlist of songs I like, you know? I mean, what do kids even listen to these days?” Nick wondered and then screwed up his face merely a second later. “God, I sound like such an old man.”

Charlie laughed at that, moving to hover over Nick and reaching down to lift him back into a sitting position. He slipped his arms around Nick’s middle and pressed a kiss to the side of his head, gazing at him in a way that Nick imagined would last a lifetime, all the way into old age that they were still far from.

His eyes were so soft as he peered at Nick, his mouth tugged into the most lovely smile that showed off his dimples which Nick found himself so incredibly enamoured by. Hours upon hours could pass them and Nick would never tire of admiring his boyfriend’s beauty, or the ease in which he gave his time to help and comfort people in their dilemmas, no matter how small.

“Why don’t I sort the music for you?” Charlie offered, the loving look still etched onto his face. “You’re clearly stressed and music is, like, the one thing I’m good at.”

“That’s not true,” Nick argued quickly, placing his hands on either side of Charlie’s face so that he couldn’t turn away. “You’re amazing at so many things!”

Charlie rolled his eyes in response, but his smile never faded. He tilted his head forward, catching Nick’s lips gently with his own, pouring his thanks and appreciation of Nick’s words into the kiss.

He pulled away, eyes locked on Nick’s. “Please, just let me help you?”

The look on Charlie’s face had him agreeing in an instant, so encouraging and sincere, like it always was when it came to Nick.

“Okay,” Nick said, leaning forward to kiss him again.

It wasn’t the first time Charlie had offered to help Nick with music, one of the most memorable occasions being a Halloween party that Nick and his university flatmates had organised during his fourth year of studying. It happened to be one of the only parties that Charlie was able to attend in Leeds, and one of the only times that he was able to show his face at all, simply because he was nearly unrecognisable under the layers of makeup he’d painted over his features.

The lead up to the party had been the best ever, two weekends in a row of Charlie visiting and the pair of them being shut away in Nick’s room, basking in each other's company yet again. They’d spent half of the first weekend listening to music and choosing the perfect songs for the party, as well as Charlie introducing Nick to several songs he’d never heard before.

Even when he couldn’t get into some of the songs himself, he watched in awe as Charlie got lost in the music, his fingers tapping along with the rhythm as though he was on stage during one of his gigs.

“You’re staring,” Charlie had commented, tossing a pillow squarely at Nick’s face.

“It’s not my fault you’re so nice to look at,” Nick explained, cheekily narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend and aiming the offending pillow right back at him.

When the Halloween party finally came around and Charlie had returned again after five days back in Kent, Nick was practically bouncing off the walls at the fact that they were able to go out in public with minimal hiding. They still endeavoured to stay clear of Nick’s mates to avoid the onslaught of questions that they would’ve received had they gotten too close to a reasonably disguised Charlie, knowing most of them still knew next to nothing about the mystery boyfriend that he’d been hiding in his room for several years.

Everyone loved the music they’d chosen, which was no surprise to Nick as Charlie had impeccable taste and they’d spent hours upon hours making it perfect. Nick had even slipped in a few Queer Intentions songs over the days that Charlie was out of Leeds — they weren’t exactly songs for Halloween but the whole house roared to life when they came on which had Nick beaming proudly at Charlie where they stood in a dark corner of the room.

Along with helping Nick with music choices, Charlie had made him countless mixtapes and playlists over the years, little loving acts that had Nick’s heart doing somersaults in his chest. This time was no different, the thought of Charlie actively trying to take away his stress and ultimately make his job a little easier caused his pulse to jump and a feeling of warmth to rush through him. It certainly made the weeks leading up to the disco a lot easier, knowing he had people in his corner that were so willing to help him.

Unfortunately for Nick, the day itself seemed to eliminate any calmness he’d gained altogether. He woke up feeling as though something was going to go wrong, that he’d arrive at the disco that evening and find out he’d forgotten something of importance and the whole thing would be ruined. Charlie just watched him, sipping his morning tea as Nick paced the room, checking things off on his fingers as he went.

“Nick, will you sit down?” Charlie piped up from where he sat in bed. “You’re making me dizzy.”

He paused his movements, eyes wide as he looked back at Charlie — for a moment he was seemingly more alarmed at his boyfriend’s potential state of dizziness than his own internal dilemma.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, crawling onto the bed and smooshing his face into the blankets.

Charlie threaded his fingers through Nick’s hair that splayed messily atop the bedding and peered down at him with an eyebrow raised.  “What happened to us banning the ‘S’ word?”

A small smile crept onto Nick’s face, usually he was the one to utter that phrase, having banned it when they were still just friends. He felt the urge to say the word again — this time half teasingly — and Charlie must’ve sensed it too because he hurriedly covered Nick’s mouth with his hand, causing it to come out muffled instead and tied together with small bouts of laughter.

Charlie chuckled along with him, careful not to slosh his mug of tea over them both in the process. He shifted to set the mug on his bedside table before scooting down the bed until they were face to face, his hand slipping away from its place across Nick’s mouth.

Their eyes danced over each other's faces, gentle and loving looks that were reserved only for them. Sunlight broke through a gap in the curtains, the early morning rays creating a halo around Charlie and tangling with his hair, making him look ethereal.

Nick would spend the whole day basking in his boyfriend’s beauty if he could, but he still had work to attend and a disco to put together, things that put a pause in his moment of contentment.

“You sorted the music, right?” Nick asked, grazing a hand across Charlie’s sunkissed cheek.

“I told you yesterday that I had, several times.” Charlie reminded him, running his own hand down Nick’s side and squeezing gently at his waist. “I also said I'd bring it to the school myself, remember?”

He had been well aware that Nick had a lot on his plate, and Nick knew that Charlie didn’t want him to fret about one more thing on top of everything else, especially on the day he had to piece it all together for the event to work perfectly.

“Just double checking.” He smiled at Charlie thankfully before his eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Are you sure you want to drop by a primary school disco? There’ll be a lot of people.”

“It’s mostly kids and a handful of parents and teachers,” Charlie told him reassuringly. “I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry about me.”

Nick sighed, his eyes never leaving Charlie’s as he traced his fingers along his boyfriend’s jawline and settled his thumb delicately against pink lips.

“You’re my boyfriend,” he stated matter-of-factly, his voice the only sound amidst the quiet of the morning. “I can’t help but worry about you.”

Smiling at him sweetly, Charlie leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Nick’s lips. Nick’s thumb fell away from its place beside Charlie’s mouth, gentle as his hand trailed down lower to feel the thrumming in his lover’s chest.

“If you’re concerned about your colleagues, don’t be,” Charlie uttered after they broke apart, shifting his own hand to rest comfortingly atop of Nick’s. “I can handle a few fans. Promise.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Nick sighed, nodding his head slightly so that their foreheads brushed together. “Now, can you tell me what songs you picked? I’ve been dying to know for weeks.”

Charlie pulled his head back, astounded as he gaped at Nick as though he’d asked the most bizarre question.

“Nope! Absolutely not!” he exclaimed.

“Char!” Nick whined, tossing his head back to pout up at the ceiling. “Please?”

“No, it’s a surprise!” Charlie interjected, a hint of laughter in his tone due to his boyfriend’s dramatic appearance. “You’ll find out later. I promise it'll be worth it.”

Nick was extremely fidgety the rest of the day, anxious to find out what Charlie had deemed worthy for a kids disco. Knowing Charlie, it wouldn’t be anything basic — an exceptional soundtrack to rival all other parties, which made Nick even more eager to know what he’d picked.

His students were all undoubtedly excited, the lot of them running around the classroom and rambling about how fun it would be as the day went on, especially since one of their favourite teachers had organised it. Nick wanted desperately to make it as fun as they had imagined, for it to all work out how he had imagined — though he was feeling increasingly on edge as he waited for Charlie to arrive with the music when the evening rolled around.

Granted, Charlie wasn’t late yet — nor had he stated what time he’d actually be arriving — but it felt like hours were passing him by as Nick stood by the door, hands shoved deep in his pockets to stop their incessant tapping against his thighs.

Just as Nick was about to pull out his phone, the door swung open and in came Charlie, face beaming as his eyes connected with Nick’s. Matching his smile, Nick stepped forward and pulled Charlie into a tight hug, the pair of them holding each other as they swayed slightly in the doorway. All of Nick’s worries slipped away, replaced by the moment of tranquillity he found himself consumed by.

The sound of mirthful chatter pulled Nick from his blissed out state and he looked up to find Sahar, Aleena and Jay standing behind Charlie, instruments in hand as they grinned at him. His face scrunched in confusion, looking between them and his boyfriend as his mind tried to piece together what was happening. 

“You guys go ahead and set up, I’ll be there in a minute,” Charlie told his bandmates as they all stepped through the door, nodding his head towards the stage.

They headed off, skirting around the sea of kids and adults that already filled the room, closely followed by a few members of their security who situated themselves at each side of the platform where they would be performing.

“What are you all doing here?!” Nick exclaimed, pulling Charlie to the side.

“I said I’d handle the music for you, didn’t I?” Charlie smiled, looking rather proud of himself.

He spluttered, eyes wide and hands flailing as he gawked at his boyfriend. “I didn’t know you meant playing a live show!”

Charlie laughed lightly, no doubt at Nick’s dumbfounded expression, his blushing face lit up with glee and his blue eyes twinkling with the reflection of the mirror ball that twirled on the ceiling of the room. He had on one of his cropped tees and his eyes were lined with black, a smattering of fluorescent painted shapes decorated the tops of his cheeks which glowed brightly in the dim lighting.

“I never actually made a playlist,” he confessed, “so I guess you’re kind of stuck with us.”

Nick’s mouth lifted into a smile and he bumped his forehead against Charlie’s as he chuckled to himself, eyes closing as he did so.

“This is way better than any playlist,” Nick proclaimed earnestly, his fingers twisting with Charlie’s by their sides.

Not letting go of Charlie’s hands, Nick turned to look back at their friends, the three of them crouched down on the edge of the stage talking happily with a group of children from his class. The teachers and parents in attendance were all chattering amongst themselves, eyes darting between the musicians on the stage and the corner that Nick and Charlie occupied.

“Are you sure you’re okay doing this?” Nick wondered as he spun back around to face Charlie, searching his eyes for any uncertainty. “Like, with all my crazy colleagues basically getting a frontrow seat?”

“Of course I'm sure,” Charlie said wholeheartedly, the sincerity in his tone causing Nick’s heart to skip a beat. “I want to do this for you. Besides, it’ll be fun!”

Overcome with adoration and gratitude, Nick wrapped his arms around Charlie once again.

“You’re so amazing,” he uttered, burying his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck.

When they pulled apart, not wanting to delay the disco longer than need be, Charlie leaned up on his toes and pressed a lingering kiss to Nick’s cheek. They grinned at each other, the distance between them growing as Charlie made his way onto the stage with the others, his eyes still finding Nick’s from across the room.

The band started playing and the room erupted into applause and cheers, all of the kids dancing around. Nick could see some of his colleagues trying desperately to keep their composure around the edges of the room, both Angelica and Rochelle failing miserably as they looked entirely too overwhelmed whilst Suzy was on the brink of tears. Nick just rolled his eyes at their ridiculousness and turned back toward the stage, watching Charlie and the band, unable to keep the smile off his face.

He was completely in awe of Charlie at that moment — he’d managed to rally his band to perform at a school function, something most bands of their calibre wouldn’t take the time to do. All four of them looked so at ease on stage and so happy to be there, the flashing lights dancing off each of them and illuminating their carefree faces.

Nick kept his sights on Charlie the entire evening, sneaking glances up at him amidst his teacher duties and ensuring everything was going as planned. He looked so cool on stage, drumsticks in hand, the same ones Nick had gotten him for Christmas a few months before. There was an abundance of glow sticks dangling around his wrists and neck, lighting him up in an array of colours, making it near impossible for Nick to look away.

“That’s my boyfriend,” Nick beamed, not caring if anyone noticed his obviously wonderstruck expression or the fact that he was getting lost in Charlie’s incomparable radiance in the middle of a crowded room.

Charlie continued to fill Nick’s thoughts as the night went on and eventually came to an end, even whilst he greeted parents and waved goodbye to students as the buzzing space slowly emptied out. It had all gone better than he could have imagined, every single person enjoying themselves immensely, their excitement almost tangible. Soon enough the band had left too, Nick hugging and thanking them each as they departed, leaving behind just him and Charlie.

A mess of glow sticks and glitter scattered the floor after the party, and the disco ball still spun in its orbit, cascading refractions of light upon the pair as they tidied the large room in a comforting silence.

There was a gentle tap on his shoulder and Nick turned to find Charlie smiling sweetly at him. He reached up, delicately placing a ring of glow sticks on top of Nick’s head like a crown, matching the one on his own — the colours illuminated them both, painting rainbows across their skin.

Tugging on Nick’s hand, Charlie pulled him into the centre of the dance floor, the disco ball directly above them as it rained down its fragments of light like a million pieces of broken diamonds. 

“What are you doing?” Nick asked around a small laugh, allowing himself to be swept into Charlie’s arms.

“Dancing with my boyfriend,” Charlie stated, his hands tracing up Nick’s chest and looping around his neck. “Is that okay?”

Nick grinned, leaning his head forward to press a quick kiss to the tip of Charlie’s nose, feeling it scrunch under his gentle touch. “It’s more than okay.”

“Good,” Charlie whispered back.

They swayed together, the sound of their breathing and the thrum of their hearts creating its own chorus between them as they held each other close. Charlie hummed quietly to himself, eyes closed as their feet moved them side-to-side and Nick just watched him, admiring how easily he got lost in their little intimate moment.

“There isn’t any music, Char,” Nick informed him, voice soft as his mouth twitched into an amused smile. “Someone forgot to make a playlist, remember?”

“I didn’t forget,” he corrected, opening his eyes to narrow them at Nick. “I just had something better planned.”

And it had been better — so much better — an act of love that was impossible to fault.

“You know I really appreciate you, right?” Nick gushed, his eyes flickering over every inch of Charlie’s face as though he was branding the moment and how lovely his boyfriend looked into his mind.

Charlie rolled his eyes. “Of course I know that, you dork.” 

They continued to spin slowly on the wooden floor, clutching at each other as their gazes remained locked, neither one daring to look away.

“I like this makeup by the way, it suits you,” Nick complimented, brushing a thumb across Charlie’s cheek, ghosting over the brightly painted drawings that had smudged throughout the night. “Very devil-may-care.”

“Anything to keep you looking at me.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

Pausing their steps, Nick tilted Charlie’s chin up so that their eyes met, blue connecting with brown. Charlie stood there, waiting, his fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of Nick’s neck and sending a wave of tingles down his spine.

Nick’s words came out ardently, falling past his lips like he was simply taking a breath. “I never stop looking at you.”

Charlie’s eyes crinkled at the corners and his dimples were prominent in his cheeks as his smile grew from Nick’s admission.

“I’ve noticed.” He teased, emitting a laugh that was like music to Nick’s ears, resounding through the room.

“Oi!” Nick gasped in mock-offence, though he couldn’t wipe the utter adoration from his features even if he tried. “Don’t act like you’re not constantly doing the same thing!”

Charlie’s laughter ceased and he looked at Nick from beneath his lashes, eyes shimmering despite the dim light, somehow even more enchanting than ever before.

“Yeah, well,” he began, voice just above a whisper, “you’re really fucking beautiful.”

The notion had Nick’s heart stuttering in his chest and his fingers flexed where they rested gently along Charlie’s jaw — he’d never tire of hearing the love of his life tell him such things, so sincere and full of devotion.

Charlie’s own fingers continued to stroke through blonde hair and he leaned up on his tiptoes, their bodies pressing together and their mouths an inch from touching. Leaning in at the same time, they closed the gap and allowed their feelings to take control. They lost themselves in the moment they’d created, like they often did, overcome by the emotions and the need to be close.

They kissed until the glow sticks began to fade, swaying in the empty room with their foreheads pressed together and arms holding each other tight. Neither one wanted it to end, so they stayed, until the only light left was the ball of glass that twirled above their heads, surrounding them in an air of tranquillity that they never wanted to forget.

Chapter Text

If Nick had known why Charlie had been so distant, things certainly would’ve gone a lot smoother. He’d been acting odd for weeks, little moments here and there that had Nick utterly confused, making him wonder what on earth was going on.

It had started when Nick arrived home from work one afternoon, loosening the top buttons on his shirt as he wandered into their bedroom, to find Charlie slamming the door shut on their wardrobe and spinning around wide-eyed at Nick.

“I didn’t think you’d be home yet!” he blurted out, gaping at his boyfriend.

“I left early.” Nick explained easily, dumping his bag on the floor and kicking off his shoes.

He looked up, smiling sweetly at Charlie, seeing his hand still gripping tightly around the handle of their wardrobe. His whole demeanour was jumpy, as though he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do — which maybe he had, Nick just hadn’t the faintest clue what.

“You got another man in there or something?” Nick asked jokingly, amused at the way Charlie spluttered at the implication.

“No!” Charlie choked out, quickly relinquishing his grasp and shifting away from the closet, cheeks reddening as he walked straight into Nick’s arms to be engulfed in a hug, eyes not meeting Nick’s as he did so.

Nick didn’t think much of it at first, deducing the odd behaviour to exhaustion from an overly busy day with the band. But it hadn’t ended there.

Several times Nick had caught Charlie watching him, lost in thought — which, generally, wouldn’t be considered odd at all given that they both had a habit of keeping their gazes locked on one another, except for the fact that Charlie abruptly averted his eyes when he noticed Nick was looking right back.

“You okay?” Nick asked the third time it had happened, to which Charlie just smiled and nodded somewhat unconvincingly, before turning back to the movie playing on the telly.

Charlie’s legs were draped over Nick’s lap, his head at the other end of the couch, which made it a tad trickier for Nick to discern what could possibly be racing through his boyfriend’s mind as he traced lazy patterns along his shin.

He seemed to get a little better at hiding his peculiar actions after that, at least when it came to the unidentifiable looks that marred his face. Nick mostly tried to ignore it, seeing as Charlie never offered up any actual explanation whenever he checked in, brushing off Nick’s worry like it was nothing.

Nick kept wondering if he’d done something wrong, if maybe he’d said something that had hurt Charlie’s feelings and it was his punishment to have to figure it out on his own. He searched his brain to no end for every interaction they’d had — which obviously was a lot seeing as they very rarely spent time apart unless one of them was occupied with work — sifting through each memory for anything at all unkind. He came up with nothing, of course. He couldn’t remember a single instance over the past few weeks — months, even — where he’d been anything but the loving and doting boyfriend he strived to be.

They very rarely fought and any disagreements they had were, more often than not, resolved with good communication. It was out of the ordinary for Charlie to be keeping something from him, especially with so many years of their relationship being as open and honest as one could be.

The thoughts certainly weren’t helped when Nick overheard Charlie whispering on his phone one night, locked away in their bathroom, his hushed tone just making its way under the door and into the hallway where Nick lingered, glass of water in hand on his journey back to the bedroom.

He couldn’t make out much of what was being said, though he did catch his name a few times amongst the unintelligible mutterings which piqued his curiosity, keeping his feet planted outside the room.

Charlie was just about startled out of his skin when he opened the door to find Nick standing there, eyes wide as he held one hand against his chest to steady his heart, the other clutching tightly at his phone that he’d been whispering into moments before. If he’d noticed Nick’s ear pressed up against the door upon opening it, he didn’t let on, brushing past Nick with a semi-forced smile and a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Who were you talking to just now?” Nick questioned, lips pursed as he followed Charlie into their bedroom, setting his cup down on his bedside table as he clambered under the covers.

“Oh, um,” he paused, his face scrunching in thought, “just Tori.”

It almost sounded like a lie, the way he’d seemed torn about sharing the information and the fact that he’d had to think about it before he did so — though, it wasn’t uncommon for Charlie to talk to his sister at that time of night, especially when they hadn’t seen each other in a while or their days had been too busy. What Nick didn’t understand was why Charlie had felt the need to shut himself away in the bathroom — away from Nick.

Some days Charlie was perfectly normal, himself in every sense of the word, going about his day as though absolutely nothing was amiss. They kissed and cuddled and talked about anything and everything that came to mind, laughing and teasing and sharing intimate moments with each other into the late hours of the night and into the next morning.

Nick thought they were back to normalcy until one evening when he offhandedly mentioned something about their future and Charlie shut him down, feigning a yawn and rolling onto his side where they lay in bed, facing away from Nick. He furrowed his eyebrows and tentatively shuffled closer, pressing his chest against Charlie’s back in what was one of their many sleep positions. He was almost expecting Charlie to shift again and create space between them, but instead he just yanked Nick’s arm over himself like he always did and settled further into the embrace.

Often it was Nick to be the one to act out of sorts when things like the future of their relationship were brought up, making him giddy and anxious and unable to form a coherent thought. It had happened more times than he could count, simply because he wanted each of the scenarios to happen so badly that he felt as though he might die right then and there. 

Charlie had made a habit of teasing Nick about it whenever he caught on, always endeavouring to turn Nick into a flustered mess — which was why it had striked Nick as weird when he didn’t, effectively ignoring him in place of the typical banter which he had been growing accustomed to.

The back and forth of behaviour had Nick feeling increasingly on edge and, quite frankly, it was starting to get on his nerves. Charlie must’ve noticed it too, or maybe he was just feeling guilty about whatever it was he was actively hiding, because suddenly he was doting on Nick at a much higher degree than ever before. It wasn’t abnormal for Charlie to be outwardly showering Nick with affection — it was, however, strange that it came en masse when he’d otherwise been avoidant for a few weeks beforehand.

Nick had asked on countless occasions if Charlie was okay, only for him to dismiss it as nothing, insisting that he was completely and totally fine. He tried his best not to question it, afraid that Charlie would start steering clear of him altogether if he dared to voice any more of his concerns out loud or come across as pushy when Charlie so clearly didn't want to talk about whatever was on his mind. The only thing worse than a bit of miscommunication, it would seem, was not talking at all.

And it wasn’t as though they weren’t communicating in some capacity. They spoke every day, constantly exchanging words of adoration and touches that were so full of affection, which was really all Nick needed to reinforce the fact that they were absolutely and unequivocally in love with one another, even if things were appearing a bit off between them, the reasoning still unbeknown to Nick.

Half the time Nick wondered if Charlie actually had noticed Nick’s own change in behaviour, the agitation and anxiety that plagued him or even the way he too was upping his romantic acts in the hopes of Charlie opening up to him. He wished Charlie would just do it of his own accord, but it seemed unlikely as time went on and Nick was still in the dark about what was actually going on with his boyfriend.

“Should we go into town today?” Nick asked one Saturday morning, plonking himself onto the chair beside Charlie, two plates of toast in hand. “We haven’t been on a proper date in ages.”

Charlie had been busy fiddling with his phone beneath the table ever since he’d wandered into the kitchen, only looking up when Nick placed his breakfast in front of him, smiling appreciatively before turning back to his phone like he hadn’t heard Nick at all.

“Char?” Nick prodded, bumping his knee against Charlie’s to get his attention.

“Hmm?” Charlie hummed distractedly, finally lifting his gaze to meet Nick’s.

“A date.” Nick repeated, a hopeful look in his eyes. “I was thinking we could go to the market or maybe try that new restaurant you mentioned.”

Switching off his phone, Charlie placed it down on the table. His face was unreadable, a blank expression as he took in his boyfriend’s words — not a smile or nod or anything.

Nick’s heart sank.

He shouldn’t have been surprised, really, not with how the last few weeks had gone. But he was. Because he thought, if anything, Charlie would want to spend some time with him — to do something romantic — because they’re boyfriends, and that’s what boyfriend’s do. It didn’t even matter to Nick what they did, he just wanted to be with Charlie. He only ever wanted to be with Charlie.

“I’m not sure I have time today,” he said. And he must’ve noticed how dejected Nick was by that because a look of guilt crossed his face after he spoke the words.

“I thought you had the weekend off.” Nick frowned.

Charlie chewed on his bottom lip and glanced briefly at his phone that was face-down beside his untouched toast. “Something’s come up with the band.”

He seemed apologetic at least, and it wasn’t unheard of for band related things to come up last minute, but that still didn’t make Nick feel any better.

“What about tonight?” Nick wondered, remembering the plans they’d had in place for the past couple of months. “Elle has that art show, we said we’d be there.”

“I’ll be done by then,” Charlie assured him and Nick tried his best to hide his apprehension. “I can meet you there?”

“Okay.” Nick smiled halfheartedly, studying Charlie for a moment and watching as his eyes flickered towards his phone again, filling Nick with another wave of dread. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he claimed, reaching across and giving Nick’s hand a quick squeeze. “Don’t worry.”

He had departed by mid-morning, leaving behind a glum and desolate Nick. It wasn’t often that he felt lonely in their own home, even with Charlie absent, always having something to do whether it be chores or work or something more fun like video games or baking. Even the more recently added activity of entertaining and training their puppy wasn’t managing to ease his thoughts as the hours ticked by.

At some point, as the morning ebbed into the afternoon, he’d made the decision to drop round his mum’s house, not wanting to be alone with his swirling mind a moment longer.

Sarah wasn’t expecting him, not that she would mind his impromptu visit, always more than happy to see her son whenever possible. He tried to go over as much as he could, he and Charlie were even meant to have dinner with her the very next week — like they did most weeks — but now he wondered if there was a chance he’d be turning up alone.

No. Charlie wouldn’t do that. He would never bail on Sarah at the last minute. He just wouldn’t. Not like he’d done to Nick.

He couldn’t get it out of his head the entire drive, thoughts of not having Charlie by his side filling his brain. What if Charlie didn’t want to be with him anymore? What if he was trying to let Nick down gently, to avoid the devastation that would ultimately tear Nick in two.

Deep down, he knew they were unreasonable thoughts — that Charlie had said repeatedly throughout their entire relationship that he only ever wanted to be with Nick, that the two of them, together, was all he would ever need. But things — feelings — can sometimes change. What if it had all changed?

His eyes were stinging and his head was pounding by the time he pulled up outside of his mum’s house, his mind threatening to bring about his demise. He didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t want to feel what he was feeling — all of it too overwhelming as he stepped out of the car and tried his best to put on a brave face, which he was certain wasn’t brave at all.

Sarah was in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a cup of tea and her iPad like she often was, Nellie and Henry lying on the floor by her feet. She lifted her head as Daisy raced into the room, bounding towards the other dogs, smiling as the three interacted.

“Hi, mum.” Nick greeted her quietly from the doorway, forcing a small smile as he stepped into the room.

She looked up at him, her own smile fading as she took in her son’s demeanour, examining him from head to toe.

It was only then that he realised what he must’ve looked like, eyes red and hair a mess, mouth turned down at the corners in a state of anguish. He was still wearing what he’d put on when he woke up — an old pair of joggers and one of his hoodie’s that still smelled of Charlie, the younger man having worn it the night before.

He hadn’t even thought about what the piece of clothing had smelled like until that moment, the scent of his boyfriend suddenly unmistakable as it permeated the air around him, making his heart clench.

“Oh, darling, what’s the matter?” she asked, voice full of worry as she stood from her seat, stopping in front of Nick and gently holding his face in her hands.

He shrugged his shoulders but didn’t say anything. He really didn’t know. He could draw his own conclusions all he wanted, but that didn’t change the fact that Charlie still hadn’t spoken to him about any of it. He was completely in the dark.

Sarah brushed his hair out of his face with one hand, in the same way she’d been doing all his life, bringing him a small sense of comfort amidst his torment.

“It’s—” His words got caught in his throat and he closed his eyes tightly, he didn’t want to say it outloud. “It’s Charlie.”

“What about Charlie?” She continued. “Is he okay, has something happened?”

Nick opened his eyes again and she was looking at him with so much concern, so much care, that he felt the familiar prick of tears threatening to fall.

“I don’t know,” he confessed in agony, his chest constricting and making his heart ache. “He keeps saying he’s fine but I can tell something’s wrong. He’s been acting weird for weeks and whenever I ask him about it he just shuts me down. He won’t talk to me.”

Sarah brushed a thumb across his cheek, gently wiping away his tears. He hadn’t even noticed he’d started crying, his emotions overflowing without warning and staining his skin. She pulled him down into a hug, her arms wrapping around him securely as he screwed his eyes shut and buried his face in her shoulder. 

He felt so silly. Something in his life wasn’t going quite right and he’d gone crying to his mum like a little kid.

Pulling away slightly, one arm still holding Nick close, she guided him into the living room where they settled onto the couch. Nellie followed, and with her came Henry and Daisy, resting her head on Nick’s lap as Sarah rubbed comforting circles onto his back.

“Has Charlie said anything that might indicate what’s going on with him?” Sarah wondered, smoothing his hair back again and he leaned into the touch.

“Not really.” Nick sniffed. “He’s been really secretive.”

“Don’t you think he’d tell you if something was bothering him?” She tried to reason. “It’s not like you two not to talk.”

“That’s why I’m so confused.” He admitted, face creased with a frown. “We always talk about everything. I’m wondering if…”

“If what, sweetheart?”

“If—” He paused again. Everything in him was trying to fight against the words, but they tumbled out anyway, and something inside him broke. “If he’s trying to break up with me.”

His body was shaking and more and more tears began to fall, cascading down his blotchy cheeks and onto the couch. If the idea itself was torture he didn’t even want to know what the real thing would feel like.

“Nicky…” Sarah said sadly, turning his head so that he was looking at her. “Is that really what you think he wants?”

“I don’t know.” He choked out. “I don’t know what to think.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d ever been worried about it, nor was it the first time they weren’t communicating fully. But this was so much different. It had been weeks of Charlie acting weird, of being distant, not just one brief instance that had Nick’s mind wandering hastily to thoughts of it all coming to an end.

It reminded him of when they’d broken up when he was eighteen — however brief that was. And that’s what scared him the most. He couldn’t go through that again, he wouldn’t. Not for two weeks and certainly not for longer. It was too hard.

Nick knew that even if Charlie somehow found it in him to move on, he wouldn’t. He would have no choice but to stay there forever, in the place where Charlie had left him, as time went on. No matter what happened, he would never be able to move on from Charlie. Because he was ingrained in him, permanently marking Nick’s soul and taking up all the space in his heart.

He’d thought it was the same for Charlie, but now he wasn’t so sure.

His mind was muddled, a mess of contradictions. Charlie would say one thing and then do another — which made Nick question everything, the way he’d been doing for weeks, struggling to make sense of it all. He just wanted it to make sense, for everything to be okay.

“Nick, listen to me,” Sarah said, shifting closer to him on the couch and holding his left hand firmly in hers. “Charlie loves you — he told me so just last week. He tells you too, doesn’t he?”

“Every day,” he conceded, wiping at his eyes with the palm of his hand that wasn’t being held in his mother’s grasp.

Charlie had even said it to him that morning when they woke up, and the night before as they drifted off to sleep. He’d actually been saying it a lot lately, completely unprompted, like he just wanted Nick to know.

And he had meant it — under all of the uncertainty, Nick knew that. He sounded so sure of himself every time he uttered the words, as though it was the simplest thing to him. Perhaps it was.

Nick let out a shaky breath. His mum was right — his own overthinking had gotten the better of him, chasing away everything he knew to be true. There was no way Charlie would lie about loving Nick, no way he would lie about anything so significant, so special. Not after everything they’d been through together.

“See.” Sarah encouraged gently, offering him a small smile. “Maybe you just need to be patient with him, he’ll tell you when he’s ready. I’m sure it’s all just a big misunderstanding.”

He really hoped she was right about that too.

Nick nodded, trying to match her smile, though it still didn’t quite meet his eyes, the feelings continuing to swirl in his heart and head. She leant forward to press a kiss to the top of his hair, giving his hand a quick squeeze as she stood from the couch.

“I’ll make us some fresh tea,” she told him, disappearing back into the kitchen.

He stayed there until late in the afternoon, two cups of tea and a lunch later, talking to his mum about everything that had been on his mind. She listened intently to all of it, offering him wise words and understanding. It got easier the more he talked it through, and he was grateful that he had a mum as wonderful as Sarah that he could be so open with.

But somewhere in him he still felt a pang of worry — about the possibilities of what Charlie could be keeping from him and the fear that his unwanted thoughts might at all be true.

He was feeling a little more composed when he arrived at the building where Elle’s art show was being held, having finally gotten out of his sweats in exchange for a button-up shirt and jeans. He was even smiling when he greeted her and their other friends, pushing down all of his worries so as to not put a damper on the night for anyone else.

Charlie wasn’t there yet, that much he could tell from the lack of crazed fans huddling outside the door. There always seemed to be somebody that would spot him and let slip his location, beckoning in more and more people. But Nick wondered when he would actually make his appearance, if at all.

He’d been out with the band all day — if that was even true, Nick still didn’t know what to believe — so surely that meant he would arrive soon enough. If not for Nick, then for Elle.

After copious amounts of mingling and chatting with his friends, Nick slumped into a quiet corner, digging out his phone. He checked his messages, but there was nothing. No texts from Charlie. He’d felt like it had been hours of waiting, but really, it had been merely thirty minutes since his own arrival.

He felt so alone where he was standing, not helped by the dim light that drenched the corner in darkness. Even with all the people milling around him, his own space felt haunted, occupied by his ghost, like he wasn’t really there. If anyone took notice of him, they probably thought it a sad sight, lingering in the darkest spot in a room painted in all the brightest colours.

A slew of muffled shouts and cheers coming from outside the building caught Nick’s attention. He looked up, just as the door opened, and there he was. Charlie.

He must’ve gone home to change because he wasn’t wearing what he’d had on that morning — all of it different, a bit dressier, except for that same necklace adorned with the letter ‘N’ that he’d been wearing nearly everyday since he’d bought it.

Nick watched as Charlie slipped through the door, the shouts of fans dissipating behind him as it closed. He looked around the room, eyes scanning every inch of it. Nick figured he was looking for Elle, to congratulate her, until he glanced right past her and the rest of their friends without so much as a second thought, only stopping when his sights finally landed on Nick.

Charlie’s whole face lit up when he saw him, eyes creasing at the corners and mouth tugging into a wide smile, his dimples on display. He began to walk over, closing the distance between them, and Nick felt the moment stop.

He was looking at Nick as though he was the only person in the room, as though he was all he could ever want, chasing away all the thoughts Nick had been troubled by earlier that day. It was almost crazy how fast Charlie could get him to forget everything else, just by being there, just by looking at him the way he did — so genuine and so loving.

The way Charlie still made his heart race, even amidst all his confusion, was incomparable. And Nick could feel Charlie’s own pulse matching his as he was pulled into a hug, Charlie wasting no time in having Nick in his arms.

“Hi,” Charlie greeted, his fingers running up and down Nick’s back — a feeling that was so familiar and comforting, like he knew exactly what Nick needed.

Nick let out a sigh, relief and longing settling in his chest as he looped his own arms tightly around Charlie.

“Hi,” he mumbled back, pressing his face into Charlie’s shoulder, breathing him in.

After the day Nick had, all the thoughts fighting to be heard no matter how unwanted or how unjustified, this was exactly what he needed — to be held by his boyfriend, in the same way they’d been holding each other for years, in the way he wanted to keep holding each other forever.

Charlie pulled away, arms still wound around Nick to keep him close, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

“Sorry I’m late,” he apologised, his eyes conveying so much sincerity that Nick wanted to melt into his embrace all over again. “Things ran a little longer than I was expecting.”

“With the band?” Nick questioned.

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed, though Nick could’ve sworn he saw a hint of hesitation. “With the band.”

Nick nodded, eyes downcast as his uncertainty made itself known again. He leant his head forward, pressing his face back into Charlie’s shoulder as his fingers twisted in the fabric of his jumper, seeking out another bout of comfort.

“Are you okay?” Charlie asked quietly as his hand trailed up Nick’s back to play with the soft hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Yeah, fine, just tired,” he said, which wasn’t exactly a lie, he was feeling rather drained from the day he’d had, but he also didn’t want to get into everything when they were supposed to be celebrating with their friends, so he didn’t tell the whole truth. “And I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Charlie told him, and it was like Nick could hear the smile in his voice. “We can leave early, if you like?”

It was Nick to pull away that time, taking in the look of understanding that was written across his boyfriend’s face. He knew Charlie would leave with him then if he wanted, and the thought made his heart skip a beat.

“No.” Nick sighed, shaking his head. “You only just got here, you haven’t even seen Elle’s paintings yet.”

“You sure?” Charlie mused. “She’ll understand if you just want to go home for an early night. We can come another day.”

“I’m sure. Everyone’s here,” he affirmed, looking over to where their friends were all chatting and laughing together, glasses of champagne in hand, before turning back to Charlie who hadn’t taken his eyes off of Nick since he’d arrived. “You’re here.”

Charlie smiled and Nick couldn’t help but smile too, his eyes flickering across Charlie’s face. He reached for Nick’s hand and intertwined their fingers, tugging Nick along behind him as they stepped out of the dark corner that they had inhabited.

“Come on, let’s go find Elle,” Charlie declared, his smile never faltering.

They continued to hold hands the rest of the evening as they looked at all the art and caught up with their friends, Nick not wanting to let go. They kept clinging to one another when they finally left, pushing through the crowds that had formed outside due to Charlie’s presence and, even still, as they entered the home that they shared.

When they finally climbed into bed later that night, Nick nestled in as close to Charlie as he could get, his head resting atop Charlie’s chest, letting the calming rhythm of his heart lull Nick to sleep. There was still an air of doubt surrounding him as he let sleep takeover, his mind swirling, even in his dreams.

He felt groggy the next morning when he woke up, limbs draped over Charlie, keeping him in place beneath the blankets. Charlie was awake, if the gentle pull of his fingers in Nick’s hair was any indication, his other hand drawing lazy patterns into Nick’s side.

There was an incessant buzzing coming from his bedside table causing Nick to let out a sleepy groan as he smooshed himself even closer to Charlie, not wanting to move.

“Nick,” Charlie nudged, tapping his waist with his fingers and shifting ever so slightly beneath Nick’s weight. “I didn’t want to wake you, but your phone’s been going off for the last five minutes and I don't know how much more of it I can take.”

With another loud groan, Nick rolled over, eyes still closed as he searched around for his phone. Finally locating it, he picked up the vibrating device and rolled back beside Charlie. He yawned as he opened it up, his eyes blinking to adjust to the intrusion of light that was far too bright for so early in the morning.

He clicked on the first message, barely registering who it was from as his eyes took in the words in front of him — an article that had his brows creasing, painting a frown across his face.

“Charlie Spring engaged to long term boyfriend, Nick Nelson,” he read aloud, the phrase sounding foreign on his tongue.

“What?!” Charlie shrieked, sitting up in an instant as he tore the phone from Nick’s grasp, eyes wide as he read it himself.

Nick sat up too, looking over Charlie’s shoulder as he skimmed through the article and hastily scoured various social media platforms and websites. There were pictures everywhere — of course there were. The paparazzi had done it again, and the fans and reporters had encouraged the circulation by making false claims about their relationship.

He shouldn't have been surprised, really, he should have been somewhat used to people starting rumours about him and Charlie. But this was different. It was so personal, and the complete opposite of where his thoughts were at only the day before.

They weren’t engaged — far from it. He was still dealing with the unwanted thoughts of an impending breakup and now everyone was claiming they were about to get married. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t been thinking about it for many months prior, because he had. He wanted so badly for the two of them to be husbands, to spend their lives together, but the fans were wrong. Plain and simple.

Charlie pulled up one of the pictures, all of them from the night before as they departed the art show, dodging fans as they went. It was fairly incriminating, Nick supposed — he couldn’t really blame them for jumping to conclusions based on that image alone, but it still didn’t change the fact that it wasn’t true.

His heart raced as he looked at the picture, Charlie’s eyes were fixated on it too, neither of them daring to speak. He had been caught down on one knee, Charlie standing in front of him, and something shiny catching in the light.

They had departed moments before the photo was taken, hands weaved together as they stepped onto the busy street. Charlie’s necklace had come loose a few doors down from the gallery, and had fallen to the ground with a tiny clatter against the pavement. 

Nick bent down to pick it up, their hands still laced together as he passed it back to Charlie with a smile. Charlie had kissed him in thanks as he pocketed the necklace for safekeeping, the two of them carrying on walking through the crowd — unaware that a rumour was starting in their wake.

It hadn’t been a ring at all — just a necklace. A necklace that Nick had once thought meant that he was Charlie’s and Charlie was his.

“I can’t believe they think we’re engaged from that!” Charlie exclaimed suddenly, catching Nick off guard. “It’s ridiculous! Did they even look at the other pictures?”

Nick leaned his head back against the headboard with a thunk, not meeting Charlie’s gaze. Was the idea of them becoming engaged really so ridiculous to Charlie? Did he not think about the two of them growing old together the same way Nick did? They had a house, a puppy, a life together already — what was so wrong with them taking the next step?

He let out a heavy sigh of frustration, his face turning into a grimace. He felt so let down, like everything they had been building up to had suddenly been ripped out of his reach, like it had never been there at all. And Charlie was just sitting there, not saying another word, refusing to tell Nick if it was really over. He didn’t want it to be over.

“I guess someone’s gonna have to set the record straight,” he muttered, trying to hold back tears as he plucked his phone out of Charlie’s hand and aimlessly scrolled past all the pictures of them. Them happy, them in love. How could Charlie not want that?

Charlie hummed quietly in thought, fiddling with his hands in his lap where he still sat upright beside Nick. The room was quiet for a moment, the only sound Nick could hear being his own heart as it beat anxiously inside his chest.

“We don’t have to,” came Charlie’s voice, putting an end to the silence and pulling Nick out of his thoughts.

Nick looked up, dropping his phone onto the bed as his eyes connected with Charlie’s. “What do you mean?”

“We don’t have to tell them that we’re not engaged.” Charlie clarified, hugging one knee to his chest.

He looked nervous, chewing on his lip as he stared back at Nick, eyes wide and waiting as Nick’s own face scrunched in confusion. It didn’t make sense. Nothing was making sense.

“But we’re not,” he said, annoyance in his tone.

Charlie swallowed, his gaze never leaving Nick as he reached a hand across, brushing his finger delicately against the back of Nick’s hand. “But we could be.”

Nick faltered, taking in Charlie’s words. There were too many contradictions, too many things that weren’t piecing together in his mind. Charlie kept saying things that didn't match up, kept doing things that he didn’t usually do, making Nick’s head spin. It was all too much.

“Charlie, what are you even saying?” Nick blurted out, his exasperation taking control. “You’ve been acting weird for weeks and now you want us to lie to everyone? I’m so confused, I don’t… I don't understand what's going on with you, Charlie! It's like you've been mad at me, but I don't know why!”

There was no keeping it in, not anymore. He let the words tumble from his mouth, felt the irritation and uncertainty rush through him, spilling into the space between them. His eyes stung with tears and his heart was pounding, his whole body wracked with his affliction.

Charlie looked suddenly pained, alarm written across his face as he quickly shuffled towards Nick, gripping at his arm.

“What?” he exclaimed. “Nick, I'm not mad at you! Why would I be mad at you?”

“ I don't know!” Nick cried out. “I have no idea what to think! You've been acting so odd and secretive lately and I don't get it. I just want to know what's going on with you!”

Nick felt a sudden emptiness having said it, everything he’d been feeling finally out in the open, no longer weighing him down. An array of emotions crossed Charlie’s face all at once, eventually settling in what Nick could only deem as determination.

He slipped off the bed, leaving Nick to mourn the touch where Charlie’s hand had previously been.

“Where are you going?” Nick almost pleaded, afraid that he was about to disappear through the door.

But he didn’t.

Charlie headed towards their wardrobe, crouching down to rummage inside. Nick just watched him, unsure what was going on as he wiped the tears from his eyes, desperate for Charlie to return.

Finally, he stood, turning around to make his way back across the room. Anxiety radiated off of him, Nick could feel it, cautious as he approached. He held something in his hands, fiddling with it as he got closer to the bed, still never taking his eyes off Nick.

“I bought this a few weeks ago,” he confessed, and that’s when Nick saw it — a little velvet box.

Nick sat up suddenly from where he had sunken into the pillows, eyes wide and lip trembling as he scooted closer, flinging off the blankets to sit on the edge of the bed. He watched with bated breath as Charlie knelt to the ground, balancing on one knee with a nervous smile on his face, as he slowly opened the box to reveal a ring.

Fresh tears pooled in his eyes as he glanced between Charlie and the ring, the tiny piece of jewellery glistening in the light that slipped through a crack in the curtains. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what, words escaping him as he waited for Charlie to speak.

“I know we haven’t talked about it a whole lot, but…” he paused, choosing his words, and Nick could see the certainty, the sureness, dancing in his eyes. “I want us to be husbands, to have our whole lives together. I love you so fucking much, Nick. Will you marry me?”

Nick’s heart skipped several beats from hearing the words — so profound and sincere, causing every inch of him to tingle at the notion.

Climbing off the bed, he found himself in front of Charlie, the two of them kneeling together in the middle of their bedroom floor. He could feel the tears running down his cheeks but he didn’t wipe them away, letting them sink into his skin the way he let the moment sink into his heart.

“Char…” Nick began, taking a shaky breath as his eyes fluttered across Charlie's face. “I’ve been thinking about this for so long.”

“You have?” Charlie wondered, giddiness exuding from him.

Nick nodded in affirmation, tilting his head forward to rest against Charlie’s. Their breaths mingled between them, hot and familiar as their mouths inched closer. Nick kissed him then, eyes closing as their lips finally connected, soft and slow and heavenly.

His hands travelled to Charlie’s neck, holding him steady as he poured everything into the kiss, fingertips teasing their way into his hair. Charlie hummed quietly, the sound filling Nick’s ears, every dreaded thought disappearing from his mind as though they had never been there at all, allowing Charlie’s words and his noises and the feel of his lips against Nick’s to be the only things left he could comprehend.

Far too soon, they broke apart, panting lightly into the small space that separated them, Nick’s fingers tangling further into Charlie’s hair. When Nick opened his eyes he found Charlie looking right back, so beautiful and wondrous that Nick felt like his heart had stopped altogether.

“So, is that a yes then?” Charlie asked above a whisper, mouth tugging into a hopeful smile.

Nick pressed another gentle kiss to Charlie’s lips, his own teary smile forming as he gazed at the man in front of him. “Do you even understand how desperately in love with you I am?”

“I might have an idea.” Charlie teased lightly, resting one of his palms on Nick’s thigh, the other still holding the ring between them.

“Well, I do,” he proclaimed, “more than anything.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.” Charlie prodded, tilting his head to the side which was still being delicately held by Nick’s hands.

Nick’s smile grew even wider as he nodded his head, not wasting another second with his answer. “Yes!” he exclaimed. “Yes, I want to marry you!”

They were both beaming, tears filling each of their eyes all over again. Charlie flung himself at Nick in an instant, the two of them landing together on the floor as Charlie kissed him again with everything he had, firmer and more passionate than before.

He kissed him everywhere, every inch of Nick’s face being covered with the touch of his lover’s lips — his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, all of it. Nick giggled under the attention, branding the moment into the forefront of his mind and squirming to get his own lips back on Charlie, where they belonged.

Pulling away, Charlie scrambled for the little box that he’d dropped in his attack — and Nick followed him, chasing Charlie’s touch, wanting them to remain connected. Charlie plucked the ring from the box and reached for Nick’s hand, holding it gently in his own. Nick was transfixed, watching as Charlie carefully slipped it onto his finger, the ring settling into the place where it would sit forever.

A blissful silence surrounded them as the moments passed, only the sounds of their thrumming hearts to be heard. Nick felt like he was in a dream, everything about it was ethereal — the words they said and the looks they shared making him wonder how he’d ever thought the last few weeks could be leading to anything other than what had just transpired.

“You dick!” Nick gasped suddenly, lightly whacking Charlie on the shoulder as his face scrunched in mock-annoyance. “This is why you’ve been so secretive?”

“I can take the ring back if you don’t want it.” Charlie laughed with a teasing grin, playfully reaching towards Nick’s hand where the shimmering band resided.

“No, no, no, wait!” He protested, yanking his hand away. But then his own smile fell slightly, a look of vulnerability taking its place. “It’s just… this isn’t what I thought was going to happen at all.”

Charlie studied him, confusion and curiosity etching its way onto his face. “What did you think was happening?”

He hesitated, he didn’t want to say it out loud, not again. Even now, knowing that he had been so completely and utterly wrong, it was still painful to think about.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head in an attempt to brush it off.

Charlie shuffled impossibly closer, gripping at Nick’s hand and giving it a quick squeeze as his eyes searched Nick’s face, trying to understand.

“Nick, of course it matters,” he encouraged. “Tell me.”

Shifting his gaze down to their hands, Nick exhaled deeply, trying his best to allow his worries to fall easily from his chest and mind where he’d been keeping them hidden.

“I thought…” he gulped, forcing himself to look back up at Charlie, which somehow made it easier to say — Charlie always made everything easier. “I thought maybe you were trying to break up with me.”

“Nick,” he sighed sadly, cupping Nick’s cheek, “you should’ve said something. You know I would never do that.”

“I know,” Nick confessed, and it was the truth. “I was just being stupid and overthinking everything.”

Charlie was the one to shake his head that time, not accepting Nick’s judgement of himself.

“You weren’t being stupid,” he attested, before a small apologetic smile crept onto his face again. “I probably should’ve tried to be more subtle.”

“Probably.” Nick agreed, emitting a little laugh.

Standing from the floor, Charlie tugged Nick along with him, leading them back to the bed where they settled into each other's arms. Charlie was leaning back against Nick’s chest, fiddling with Nick’s fingers and humming contentedly as he traced lovingly over the ring.

“I actually thought about doing it after I bought the ring,” he admitted, tilting his head back to look up at Nick. “But then you came home early and I panicked a bit. And then I kept panicking because I didn’t want to mess it up. I was trying so hard to hide it, I had this big elaborate plan for it and everything!” Charlie was rambling and Nick couldn’t keep the smile off his face even if he tried. “I wanted it to be perfect.”

Nick pressed a kiss to the top of Charlie’s head, the arm that Charlie wasn’t clutching onto snaking around his middle and holding their bodies together.

“It was perfect,” Nick whispered softly. And he meant it.

They didn’t need fireworks or decorations or a fancy restaurant. It was perfect because it was them, in the home that they shared and dressed in their pyjamas as the sun broke through the curtains in the early hours of the morning. The only thing they needed was each other. That was enough — it would always be enough.

Chapter Text

They were engaged. Nick and Charlie were going to be husbands. It was something they’d both been wanting — for far longer than either of them had dared to tell the other until the moment Charlie was down on one knee, ring in hand, tears in both of their eyes.

Charlie was still reeling from the proposal, and Nick was too, his head laying on Charlie’s chest, no doubt listening to the sound of his fiancé’s fluttering heart as he admired the ring that adorned his finger.

Fiancé. They were fiancés.

The word sounded so foreign to Charlie, almost like he’d made it up. But he hadn’t — it was real, it was happening. They were going to get married. He felt a nervous excitement racing through him every second it crossed his mind — which was constantly, because he never stopped thinking about it. It was impossible to.

He could feel the pull of Nick’s smile against his skin, the happiness transferring between the two of them in a never ending loop. His fingers traced patterns between the sparse freckles on Nick’s back like a constellation and delicately danced up and down his spine. Nick kept gazing at the ring as he nuzzled his cheek further into the skin of Charlie’s chest and hummed at his fiancé’s gentle touch, his mussed hair tickling at Charlie’s neck with each small movement.

“Do you like it?” Charlie asked, his voice putting an end to the euphoric quiet they’d created as he brushed a finger over the golden band. “I can get you a different one if you don’t, I just thought this one would look really nice on you and—”

He was unable to finish his thought, cut off by Nick pressing their lips together, leaning up on one of his arms to bring their bodies impossibly closer, their legs remaining entangled beneath the sheets.

“Char…” Nick began as he pulled back, their faces aligned. “You know, you could’ve gotten me a ring made of paper and I’d still be saying yes, right? And I do love it.” He kissed him again, soft and lingering as his bejewelled hand came up to hold Charlie’s face. “Thank you.”

“Are you sure? Cause it’s honestly fine if you don’t, I can just—”

“Charlie.” Nick admonished, cutting him off again, his face still gentle and flushed as he looked down at the man beneath him. “It’s perfect.”

Charlie bit down on his lip, smiling up at Nick. “Okay.”

They lay there, smiling across the small space between them, eyes glistening as they flickered over each other’s faces. Charlie’s hand crept up between them, mirroring Nick’s as he held Nick’s cheek in his palm, fingers ghosting over blushing skin. He tilted his chin up, catching Nick’s mouth with his own once again and tugged Nick further on top of himself as he melted into the embrace.

Nick hummed into the kiss, his blissed out sounds mingling with Charlie’s, but eventually he pulled away. Charlie whined at the sudden loss, chasing after Nick’s touch and frowning when he failed to get it back. He opened his eyes and Nick was beaming down at him, mouth tugging up at the corners as his eyes roved over every inch of Charlie.

“I’m getting you one too, by the way,” Nick declared, lifting Charlie’s hand that had been inching its way up Nick’s chest and kissing his knuckles in the vacant spot of his ring finger.

“You don’t have to,” Charlie told him, shaking his head, but he couldn’t help the excitement that rushed through him at the thought of them wearing matching rings and showing off to the world that they belonged to each other.

“Oh, I’m gonna!” Nick grinned.

The beginning of their engagement had gone far better than Charlie could’ve hoped — even with the impromptu way it had come about. He began planning the proposal as soon as he first pocketed the ring, roses and candles and music at the front of his mind. He’d wanted to take Nick out to dinner first, to shower him with affection all evening before they headed back home where Charlie would get down on one knee and present him with a ring.

He had briefly dabbled with the idea of a public proposal — which he’d quickly crossed out, what with the way all eyes would be on them, no matter where they were. He’d also thought about the beach — the place they first declared that they were boyfriends — which was one of his top ideas as the weeks progressed and the ring lay waiting for the right moment. But that’s not how it happened.

He’d felt so nervous in the lead up, wanting every aspect of it to be perfect, for not a single thing to go wrong. But the way it had unfolded was so much better, so much more them — even with a little hiccup of miscommunication in the midst of it. There wasn’t a single thing about it that he would change, not for anything.

Tori had been the only one who knew what he was planning, Charlie turning up on her doorstep the day after Nick almost caught him red-handed with the ring as he hurriedly stashed it in their wardrobe for safekeeping. He needed desperately to talk to someone about it, and his sister was the first person he thought of, the perfect person to let in on the secret.

“I’m happy for you,” she told him after he finally got his words out, placing her lemonade down so she could pull him into a hug. “You’ve been wanting to marry him for ages.”

Which was true, he had. He just hadn’t realised that other people may have picked up on that fact, not wanting to make it too obvious to Nick — aside from a few teasing remarks to send Nick into a tizzy and gauge his feelings on the matter. He had even dropped a cheeky hint at Christmastime when he surprised Nick with Daisy, offhandedly suggesting that they hyphenate their names. The way Nick got all flustered still played in his mind, eyes wide and cheeks tinged pink as he spluttered at the implication.

Eventually, when he had purchased the ring and it all became so much more real, Charlie eased away from the hints — he didn’t want Nick to catch on, to know what he was planning.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Charlie had rushed out when he and Tori broke away from their hug. “Not even Ollie or Michael. I want it to be a surprise.”

“I know, I won’t.” Tori reassured him.

He would’ve loved for more people to have known, to be able to talk about his plans and how excited he was to see Nick’s face when he finally asked, but ultimately he didn’t want to risk anyone letting it slip.

Charlie tried desperately to hide it all, especially when Nick had started suspecting something was amiss, but he found it so hard to act casual when he so easily got lost in thought whenever Nick was near — thoughts of the impending proposal and simply how beautiful Nick was swirling in his head and making his heart skip a beat an innumerable amount of times each day.

There was one night where he was petrified that he’d given it away himself, unlocking the bathroom door to find Nick standing there, eyebrows furrowed as he stepped back to let Charlie out of the room. He’d just been rambling to Tori over the phone, letting her in on all the ideas he’d been having with Nick’s name and various other words tied to the proposal weaved throughout the conversation. The thought of Nick having possibly overheard any of it caused a nervousness to settle in his chest, not yet ready for Nick to find out.

But now Nick knew, now they were engaged — the concept still boggling Charlie’s mind and making him giddy, even days later when they arrived at Sarah’s for dinner, Nick’s ring tucked safely away in his pocket so their families wouldn’t see.

They’d discussed it beforehand, wanting to tell their families together, all of them in one place for the big surprise. Nick had gotten Sarah to invite Charlie’s family, which didn’t take much convincing as she was always more than happy to have them over, the house already buzzing with life as they pulled up outside.

“My mum’s probably gonna cry,” Nick said, locking the car as the pair of them and Daisy headed towards the house.

“Yeah, well, you were the same. You definitely get that from her,” Charlie commented, nudging Nick’s shoulder with his own. “Sappiness is in your blood.”

Nick fell a step behind, mouth agape as he pointed accusingly at Charlie.

“Oi!” he exclaimed dramatically. “You cried too!”

Charlie shrugged. “Of course I did. I was asking you to marry me.”

“Then why are you teasing?” Nick pouted, stepping closer to Charlie again.

He reached out and delicately brushed his finger across the back of Charlie’s hand, almost begging him to step closer too. Charlie’s eyes were glinting mischievously as he closed the space between them, watching as the pout fell from Nick’s face, replaced with an enamoured look as his heart undoubtedly sped up within his chest. Leaning up on his toes, Charlie’s mouth came to rest by Nick’s ear, his breath tickling his fiancé’s skin as words fell cheekily from his lips.

“‘Cause it’s fun,” he whispered, a hint of laughter laced through his tone.

Nick’s face was one of astonishment as he pulled back to take in Charlie’s clear amusement, jaw slack and eyes narrowing at the man who was busy poking fun at him. Charlie couldn’t help but snicker, thoroughly enjoying how easy it was to rile Nick up.

The giggles came to a halt as Nick dived at Charlie suddenly, fingers tickling over every surface he could reach, Nick’s own laughter filling the air around them. A shriek came from Charlie as he squirmed in Nick’s grasp, and Daisy was jumping at the pair of them, her leash twisting around their legs, threatening to topple them over as she endeavoured to join in.

“You’re late,” came a voice, cutting off their shared laughter as they both panted to catch their breaths, Nick holding Charlie steady where he hovered over the ground, both of them clinging to one another to keep their balance. Daisy dashed off towards the house, her leash coming loose from where Charlie had been clutching it through the attack, ducking past Tori on her way through the door.

The pair righted themselves, straightening up their clothes where they had become twisted and crinkled, before continuing their short walk up to the house. One of Nick’s hands was still holding onto Charlie, his other patting at his pocket where the ring resided, no doubt checking that it was still there after their little playful scuffle.

He’d been so adamant about not taking it off when Charlie first suggested it on Monday morning before he left for work, already thoroughly attached to the small piece of jewellery, even after just a day. But eventually he agreed, albeit pouting, not wanting to add any extra fuel to the rumours that had been started on Saturday night when incriminating photos had been taken, with Nick down on one knee. Nick’s colleagues would be nosy enough as it was, a ring on his finger certainly didn’t need to be added on top of that.

They wanted it to come out on their own terms, not because fans and paparazzi spread rumours or couldn’t keep their mouths shut when it came to the real thing. They wanted to surprise their friends and families with the news first and foremost, eager to share in the excitement with them.

Tori eyed them sceptically from where she remained in the doorway, arms folded over her chest.

“You did it, didn’t you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at her brother.

“What do you mean?” Charlie feigned innocence, his tone light as he attempted to keep his emotions in check — which proved to be difficult, seeing as he wanted to scream the news into the air for the entire world to hear, to have it painted across walls and written in the stars like a tattoo etched into the very universe itself. 

“You know exactly what I mean,” Tori scoffed. “I can see it all over your face.”

He couldn’t help it, a smile tugged at his lips, giving away his secrets at once. He turned to his fiancé, Nick’s cheeks all rosy as he looked back at Charlie and twisted their fingers together, his thumb rubbing gently across the backs of Charlie’s knuckles.

Tori saw right through them — of course she did — even when Nick and Charlie themselves didn’t think they were acting all that different, always showering each other with affection. Charlie could tell that they wouldn’t be keeping it a secret from everyone else for much longer, neither of them able to wipe the giddy expressions from their faces, and certainly not hidden by the way Nick was not-so-subtly caressing Charlie’s empty ring finger as they manoeuvred into the house. Charlie’s heart thrummed at the feeling, an indentation in the shape of Nick marking his skin, mirroring the place where Nick’s own ring had resided just an hour beforehand.

Charlie was desperately trying to maintain his look of innocence as they joined their families in the living room, but it faltered every time he glanced at Nick, something he found himself doing every couple of seconds like clockwork. He thought it might help to sit away from him, squeezing into the space between Oliver and Tori, only to find himself looking across the room instead where Nick was already looking right back, his face overtaken with a lovestruck grin and his eyes dancing with all the things he wanted to whisper into Charlie’s ear the moment they were side by side once again.

It wasn’t as though the two of them only having eyes for each other was anything new, their friends and families completely used to it after years of the couple being so completely drawn to one another that everything else in the universe fell away, leaving just the two of them to share small secret moments, even in a loud and crowded room.

The looks continued even when they all manoeuvred into the kitchen for dinner, when Nick kindly pulled Charlie’s chair out for him and again when they were finally seated, scooting as close to one another as they could get.

“So,” Jane piped up from across the table when they were about halfway through the meal, “what’s this rumour about the two of you getting married?”

The whole room fell silent, plates and cutlery clattering to a halt as everyone glanced between the pair in question. They were all watching them, waiting for an answer, their food abandoned in favour of quelling their curiosity.

“I saw the photos,” Oliver butted in from beside Charlie, going back to his meal as though it was just a regular dinnertime conversation. “Nick was down on one knee and everything!”

Charlie was frozen in his seat, no sounds escaping him barring from a shaky inhale. He really should’ve expected that someone would bring it up, the pictures were everywhere after all, but he’d hoped they’d be able to announce it on their own time, to not have their families listening to rumours or out of context photographs. Granted, the rumours were true, but from anyone else's perspective they were still only rumours.

“Oh, um,” Charlie laughed nervously, finally finding his words as he rubbed at the back of his neck, “that was just a misunderstanding.” 

Beneath the table, Nick’s knee bumped against Charlie’s, drawing his attention away from the lingering gazes of everyone else. He turned to Nick, their eyes meeting where Nick was already looking at him, a soft smile playing on his lips. Their knees continued to brush gently against each other, the comforting feeling settling inside Charlie and mixing with the fluttering in his chest induced by the look on his lover’s face.

Nick’s regard never wavered as he studied Charlie, the adoration in his eyes standing out for everyone to see. He lifted his hand, placing it palm up on the table between them, as though inviting Charlie in, beckoning him to make the connection. Carefully, with not a second of hesitation, Charlie slipped his own hand into its place on top of Nick’s, weaving their fingers together, right where it belonged.

A warmth rushed through Charlie, from his fingertips all the way to his heart as Nick squeezed Charlie’s hand in his own. Their eyes were still locked together, never straying from one another, and suddenly, everything went quiet. It was like a silent agreement between them, a feeling of rightness as they held each other's hands and each other’s gazes, their pulses syncing as if they were one. Charlie squeezed back, his hand grasping at Nick’s as his own smile spread across his face, love emanating from his entire being.

“But, well,” he continued, and he knew he’d caught everyone’s attention even as his eyes remained connected with Nick’s, “I asked Nick to marry me.”

Several gasps erupted around the room, the revelation causing a commotion as shouts of happiness filled the air.

“We’re engaged!” Nick added in elation, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his smile spreading even wider at finally being able to say the words aloud. He lifted their joined hands to his lips, kissing gently at the back of Charlie’s knuckles, the sensation causing tingles to dance up Charlie’s spine.

Charlie’s face matched Nick’s in every sense, the two of them grinning at each other so brightly as though every bit of happiness had been building up for that very moment. It felt so much more real to say it out loud, for their families to finally know. Charlie’s pulse jumped and he was certain that Nick had been able to feel it where they were connected, his eyes trailing away from Charlie’s face towards their hands, giving another gentle squeeze.

At the end of the table, on the other side of Nick, Charlie could see Sarah holding her hands to her face in shock as her eyes glistened with unshed tears and a small sob broke free. The sound caught Nick’s attention, his face softening even more at the sight of his mum. He stood from his seat, and Sarah did too, the two of them closing the small space between them as Nick wrapped his arms tightly around her frame.

“I’m so happy for you, darling,” Sarah uttered lovingly, her chin resting over his shoulder. “You’re both so lucky to have each other.”

“Thanks, mum,'' Nick whispered back, and Charlie could hear the smile in his voice, so full of emotion as he swayed in his mothers arms.

Pulling apart, both of them sniffling and wiping at their eyes, they sat back in their seats and Sarah’s hand reached across the table to pat at Charlie’s, her happiness for the couple radiating throughout the room.

Charlie wiped at his own cheeks on instinct, his palm coming away wet with tears that he hadn’t even noticed had begun to fall. Nick noticed, brushing away the smattering of tears that painted his fiancés face, the feeling sending a wave of tingles into Charlie’s skin. Tracing downwards, his touch ran along Charlie’s neck, lingering with his fingers twirling in dark curls before continuing down the path of his arm — he grasped Charlie’s hand in his own, locking their fingers together all over again.

Leaning up slightly to close the small space between them, Charlie pressed his lips against Nick’s forehead and Nick’s eyes fluttered shut in bliss, his smile never disappearing. It was as if they were completely alone, like they didn’t have six sets of eyes on them, paying attention to their every move and observing just how in love Nick and Charlie really were.

“Called it,” Tori announced, cutting their moment short.

“You already knew I was proposing!” Charlie pointed out with a roll of his eyes as he turned to take in his sister’s amused expression, Nick taking the opportunity to nuzzle into the side of Charlie’s head and resting his chin upon his jumper-covered shoulder.

“You mean you weren’t already engaged?” Michael wondered, pursing his lips as his eyebrows furrowed in perplexity.

“What?” Charlie snorted. “No! How long have you thought that?!”

“Like six months…” he admitted, and his confused face morphed into one of embarrassment.

Charlie couldn’t blame him really, they certainly acted like they’d already been married for years, like they were going to spend the rest of their lives together — which they were, there was no question about it now, not that there ever really had been.

He could feel Nick’s laughter at all the points where they were pressed together, the rumble of it reverberating through to his bones, and the way in which Nick played with Charlie’s fingers, comforting and familiar. But then it stopped, the laughter becoming a quiet hum as Nick readjusted his position against Charlie’s shoulder, and the fiddling of hands dwindled into a gentle caress.

“Char…” Nick began, whispering softly beside Charlie’s ear, his breath tickling at the side of his fiancés face.

“Yeah?” Charlie asked, tilting his head so that their eyes could meet, noses almost touching.

A hopefulness made itself known on Nick’s face, eyelashes fluttering and mouth tugging up at the corners as his cheeks tinged pink under Charlie’s gaze.

“Since everyone knows…” He paused, flexing his fingers where they were linked with Charlie’s. “Can I put my ring back on now?”

He was practically begging, eyes wide and pouting his lips. He was desperate to put it back on, had been since the very moment he took it off before they left their house earlier that evening. Charlie was well aware of how much he liked it, how much he adored it — the way it felt upon his finger and the way it looked too, intimate and beautiful, as though he permanently had a piece of Charlie with him, seeping its way into his soul.

Charlie had rolled his eyes when Nick first uttered the sentiment, but he would be lying if he said it hadn't made his heart melt right then and there. He loved that Nick thought it was perfect, loved that he wanted to wear it and be seen wearing it, to show off the fact that he was Charlie’s and Charlie was his.

“Go on then,” Charlie beamed, nudging Nick to do so.

Nick pulled away from Charlie in an instant, grinning as he dug around in his pocket. He exuded giddiness as he searched for the ring, glancing up at Charlie every so often, his cheeks flushing darker each time their eyes met.

Just as he was pulling his hand free of the pocket it had been buried in, something came out with it, falling to the ground between them with a thud. Nick’s eyes went wide, his smile fading as his gaze darted between Charlie and the object that lay in its lonesome on the floor.

Nick held his ring in his hand, Charlie could see it glistening between his thumb and forefinger, and the box looked different to the one Charlie had kept hidden away in their wardrobe for weeks prior — this one a deep blue, like that of the night sky.

Bending down, Charlie’s breath caught in his throat, his finger reaching out to graze over the velvety material of the little box that he found himself so transfixed by. Carefully, he scooped it up, turning it over in his hand and feeling the rapid beat of his heart come to a stop as realisation washed over him.

“I said you didn’t have to,” he reminded Nick, the familiar sting of tears pricking at his eyes.

“And I ignored you,” Nick uttered softly, his smile coming back as he plucked the box out of Charlie’s trembling fingers, his touch electrifying where he brushed against Charlie’s skin.

If the table had erupted into gasps once again, Charlie wouldn’t have known, his ears attuned only to the man in front of him as he waited with bated breath.

“I was gonna wait until after dessert but…” Nick started to explain before cutting his thought short, tilting his head to the side as he peered lovingly at his fiancé. “Char, will you marry me?” 

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes, even as tears started to cascade down his face. “You do know I already beat you to it, right?”

“I know.” Nick chuckled lightly, wiping away Charlie’s tears for the second time that evening. “But I wanted to ask anyway.”

“Dork.” Charlie sniffled.

There was a small moment where neither of them said anything, the silence filled with looks of affection and tender touches as the two of them got lost in the blissfulness of it all. Slowly, Nick brought his hand away from where it had rested against Charlie’s jaw, bringing it to the box that he held delicately in his other hand. He opened it carefully, his loving gaze never leaving Charlie’s, even as he revealed what was inside.

The ring was beautiful, golden like Nick’s but unique in its own right, with a little engraving on the inside of the band that had been scrawled in an elegant cursive. Charlie could make out the words even without holding it in his own fingers, words that Nick had uttered to him before. Mon Amour. He could still hear the way Nick said it, the memory of all the times his French accent rolled off his tongue making Charlie’s heart stutter inside his chest.

“Will you?” Nick asked again, his voice cutting through the quiet they’d created.

Charlie huffed out a tear filled laugh, the moment both ridiculous and wonderful all at once.

“Yes, Nick,” he nodded ardently, “I’ll marry you.”

Nick’s whole face lit up then, even more than before, and Charlie’s own smile grew wider too as the both of them allowed more tears to fall. Nick slipped his own ring back on first and then helped Charlie with his, sliding it up his finger into the place where it belonged.

It was silly, really, Nick proposing to Charlie when they were already engaged — but Charlie loved it, loved everything about how it had happened and that Nick wanted to do it too. It was something they had both been wanting for so long, had both been planning on doing at some point, and now they had — a ring representing their love and their desire to spend their lives together adorning each of their fingers.

The rest of the evening was spent celebrating with their families, everyone taking turns in congratulating them, the hugs and happy smiles neverending as the night went on. It hadn’t all gone exactly how Charlie had imagined — they’d announced it sooner than he thought they would and he certainly hadn’t been anticipating Nick’s surprise — but it had turned out far better, far more them , albeit a bit unplanned. There was not a single thing about it he would change.

In the weekend that followed they gathered all of their friends, the group arriving at Nick and Charlie’s house under the guise of a movie night. It didn’t take long before they made the announcement, unable to hold in their excitement. They had both been extra clingy that evening, taking turns in draping themselves over one another with arms wrapped securely around waists and faces buried in necks where they could press the occasional kiss.

The declaration of their engagement caused the room to be filled with cheers and shrieks of delight, each one of their friends ecstatic as they leapt up from their seats to bombard the couple with hugs. It felt amazing, for everyone they were closest to to finally know, to share in the thrill of the next stage in their relationship.

They didn’t announce it publicly for a few weeks after that, wanting to revel in the bliss of being engaged without the world’s prying eyes. There were still rumours floating around from before it had happened, and they didn’t see much point in trying to deny it when they knew it was something they were going to eventually share — but, for a little while at least, they wanted the truth to be something only for them, something they got to enjoy all on their own.

They eased into it slowly at first, Nick wearing his ring more and more when he went to work in the hopes of gradually getting his colleagues used to the idea. Neither of them wanted to hide it, but Charlie didn’t want Nick to be swarmed by peoples incessant nosiness when the news finally came out.

Eventually, when they both agreed it was time, they posted a photo on Instagram. It was of  the two of them, hands on display and showing off their rings for everyone to see, looking more in love than ever before.

Charlie loved that picture, one of their first since they became engaged, capturing a brief moment in time that showed a glimpse of how their future would be. They had been in their living room, pressed against one another on the couch with Daisy snuggled into Charlie’s side. Their hands were clasped together between them, resting against Nick’s leg, their rings unmissable as they shone brightly in the light. And they were both smiling sweetly at each other, Nick’s awestruck eyes gazing at Charlie as though he was the most perfect and wonderful thing in the world — which according to Nick after the photo was taken, he was.

It didn’t take long for the picture to be everywhere, spreading online and being printed on the front page of various magazines — which they found out the first time they dared to venture into town since they’d made their public announcement, wanting to experience something as normal and mundane as going shopping. Charlie was dressed in a disguise as usual, though Nick kept reminding him that it did nothing, the cap and hoodie doing little to distract from his pretty face. The compliment had Charlie blushing, shoving Nick lightly as they wandered into the shop where they’d spotted the lineup of magazines that had their faces plastered over the covers.

“I can’t believe they’re still using these photos,” Charlie commented, flicking through one of the magazines that had an entire page dedicated to the misleading pictures of Nick down on one knee. “You weren’t even proposing then.”

Nick was busy peering over Charlie’s shoulder, arms wound tightly around his waist. Pressing a kiss to Charlie’s cheek, Nick plucked the magazine out of his fiancé’s hands and placed it back on the shelf with the countless others.

“Let them think that.” He shrugged. “No one needs to know how or when it happened. Those moments are just for us.”

Charlie nodded in agreement, turning around in Nick’s arms so that they were face to face.

“I like having you all to myself, you know?” Charlie admitted as he looped his arms around Nick’s neck, lifting up onto his toes slightly. “To not have to share you with anyone else.”

“Are you trying to keep me your little secret, Charles?” Nick teased, a smirk playing on his lips.

“A bit late for that don’t you think, Nicholas?” he remarked, gesturing to the magazines that filled the shelves.

“We could always run away together, leave everything else behind,” Nick suggested, and Charlie loved the idea, more than anything actually. They would be more than happy just being the two of them, Nick and Charlie and no one else. But it wasn’t as simple as that, because they had other people too, people that they cared about and who cared about them.

“You’ve said that before,” Charlie replied, twisting his fingers in the hair at Nick’s nape. “We’d miss everyone too much.”

Nick sighed, knowing Charlie was right, burying his face into the crook of Charlie’s neck and inhaling deeply.

“For our honeymoon then?” he mused, his breath tickling at Charlie’s exposed skin.

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed. “For our honeymoon.”

Nick pulled back from his place on Charlie’s shoulder so that their eyes were aligned once again, faces mere inches apart. Slowly, he leaned in, pressing their lips together briefly, eyes fluttering closed alongside Charlie’s as both of them lost themselves in the gentle touch of the kiss.

“I can’t wait to be married to you,” Nick uttered quietly when they broke apart, so earnest and tender that Charlie could feel himself melting further into his lover's embrace, his heart long since stopped inside his chest.

“I can’t wait either,” he whispered back, his words holding just as much sincerity and love as Nick’s.

When they finally departed the shop it was hand-in-hand, Charlie clinging to Nick’s arm as they walked, matching each other’s steps. There were masses of people crowding outside, congesting the streets and cheering loudly, a series of congratulating shouts filling the air. They knew they were likely to gain attention, that there would be people chanting their names and snapping photos as they went about their day. It was to be expected given Charlie’s fame and the fact that they’d recently become engaged.

Charlie had been unsure how Nick would feel about it, about being even more at the centre of the world’s curiosity, previously nervous and weary around the fans and the things that they said. But he wasn’t acting that way, nor was he putting on a brave face for Charlie’s sake.

It was as though he wasn’t noticing the crowd at all, his sights focused only on Charlie as they continued to wander down the cobbled road. He had a small smile gracing his lips, only growing wider the longer he looked at the man that was wrapped around his arm. 

Charlie wondered briefly what was running through Nick’s thoughts, but as a matching smile formed upon his own lips he realised that he didn’t need to guess — he knew. It was the same thing that was flitting around his own mind, thoughts of marriage and the future and how utterly in love he was with the man that he got to call his. They were going to spend their lives together, and all the nosy people in the world were never going to change that. They were all that mattered.

Chapter Text

If Nick had been told ten years prior that this would be his life, he never would’ve believed it. He had a house, a dog, and supportive friends and family. He was beyond happy. In love. Married. And all of it was with Charlie.

The fame aspect was certainly not something he ever would have expected — that his boyfriend, now husband, would have become a world famous drummer and that he would get to be by his side throughout all of it. Nick was overcome with giddiness every time he thought about it, about the past few years, the time before and everything that would come after — and about how he got to know Charlie so closely, so intimately, in a way that no one else would ever get the chance.

It was the day after their wedding, mere hours after they finally became husbands, something neither of them had been able to stop thinking about for months prior — something they continued to think about, even as they wandered hand-in-hand through the airport, suitcases in tow.

Nick was well aware that all eyes were on them as they manoeuvred through the terminal, but he wasn’t paying the onlookers any mind, his focus solely on Charlie — even as they checked in their luggage and made their way through security, eventually finding themselves in the first-class lounge where they would await their flight.

They hadn’t stopped clinging to one another since the moment they kissed in front of all their friends and family, declaring their love like they’d done a million times before. Their shoulders brushed as they walked, and they both found themselves nuzzling into the sides of each other’s faces, decorating one another with kisses and touches that had them both swooning under the affection.

“I can’t believe we just got married!” Charlie exclaimed as he plonked himself onto one of the plush couches in a quiet corner of the lounge, his voice all giggly as he tugged Nick down with him. Nick went gladly, sinking into the space beside his husband, his own laughter escaping him as he pulled Charlie onto his lap, arms encircling around his waist.

His fingers traced delicately over Charlie’s sides, inching upwards to the spot just below his ribs and squeezing the flesh there with a cheeky pinch.

“Ouch!” Charlie gasped, squirming in Nick’s grasp as he swatted a hand against Nick’s chest. “What the fuck was that for?!”

Nick let out a low chuckle, unable to hold in his amusement at his husband’s surprise.

“You said you couldn’t believe it!” he reasoned. “I was just proving to you that this,” he squeezed Charlie’s hips for emphasis and then lifted Charlie’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the pair of rings that sat side-by-side, “is real.”

A smile formed on Charlie’s lips as he peered down at Nick, his shock drifting away. He reached up from where his hands had twisted in Nick’s sweatshirt to brush against Nick’s face instead, sweeping some of his hair out of the way. Gently, he pressed a kiss to Nick’s forehead, causing Nick to hum happily at the contact and tighten his grip around Charlie’s waist once again.

“If you even think about pinching me again, I'll bite you.” Charlie warned, pulling back slightly to look into his husband’s eyes.

“Oh, really?” Nick raised an eyebrow, his tone teasing. “Tempting.”

“Shut up!” Charlie groaned with a roll of his eyes but he started laughing anyway, and Nick did too, the pair of them giggling away in each other’s arms.

Neither of them could take their eyes off each other and they made no attempt to move apart, to end the embrace, even as the occasional person walked by, reminding them that they weren’t alone.

Usually, Nick would have been fawning over the luxuries that came with first-class tickets and all that filled the lounge the moment he stepped through the door, still not used to such extravagant amenities. But he was too focused on Charlie to care, too caught up in the man wrapped in his arms, the feel of their bodies pressed together and the look in Charlie’s eyes that screamed he’d never been so in love in his life.

It was the same look he’d had the day before, something so much stronger than any other loving look he’d bestowed upon Nick over the course of their relationship — a look that Nick reciprocated with equal devotion.

Something had shifted from the moment that they first locked eyes at their wedding, as though everything up until that point had been nothing but a dream, like every little thing they’d gone through together had been leading to that very moment — a day that was monumental, life-changing, heart-stopping.

Nick saw Charlie first, his eyes landing on the man he was about to marry from across the small stretch of beach that stood between them. He held his breath as he admired Charlie, the way his wavy hair sat perfectly atop his head, framing his face, and the glow of his tan skin that Nick had always found so beautiful, mixed with a tinge of pink that crept over his cheeks.

The moment that Charlie finally spotted him, Nick clocked it instantly — the way his eyes widened adoringly and how he bit his lip ever so slightly, out of anxiousness or excitement or something else entirely. Nick's own emotions were indescribable as they slowly walked towards each other, building in a culmination of feelings that he couldn't quite place, something so beyond words and utterly its own that nothing quite seemed to fit.

“Hi,” Nick whispered softly as they closed the space between them, and Charlie whispered it back, the simple word falling past each of their lips and somehow conveying all of the things they wanted to say to one another.

Charlie was finally close enough to touch, and Nick’s hand gravitated towards him, reaching out to brush a finger delicately across the back of Charlie’s hand. A small smile formed on Charlie’s lips at the contact, his pretty dimples unmissable and his blue eyes dancing about, reflecting the same awe that filled Nick’s.

Nick’s gaze trailed down to where their hands met, and Charlie’s fingers splayed out, as though he was beckoning Nick to link their hands together. So he did, weaving their fingers and squeezing tightly, as if to say; this is real, this is happening.

At the point where their wrists touched, Nick could feel Charlie’s heartbeat, a steady thrum that quickened every time he rubbed his thumb over the back of Charlie’s hand and again when their eyes connected across the short space that begged to be closed by the brush of lips. Nick was certain that Charlie could feel his too, could feel his pulse and the emotions emanating from him as they finally began walking, hand-in-hand, down the aisle.

Everyone was already watching them, their friends and families filling the seats that bordered the path they walked on, faces painted with happiness and anticipation. It made Nick’s heart skip another beat — the knowledge that they would soon be uttering vows in front of those most dear to them and proclaiming their love to the entire world, unwavering and everlasting, like a permanent mark on the fabric of the universe.

Time stood still as they took their places in front of one another, hands remaining linked between them. Charlie reached up, eyes never leaving Nick’s as he brushed a few wayward strands of hair out of Nick’s face that had gotten caught in the ocean breeze that swirled around them. 

“Nick,” Charlie began, his voice weightless as though it was the easiest moment of his life — which maybe it was, the same way it was for Nick. Their guests and the sound of the sea crashing on the shore faded away, leaving just the two of them, their words meant only for each other. 

Every word Charlie spoke had Nick swooning, each one floating toward him and settling deep in his chest, embedding themselves into his rapidly beating heart. He said so much about the future, about the life they were going to have — how when Charlie is eighty-seven and Nick is eighty-nine they’ll still be as in love as ever, if not more. He told him about the first time he’d laid eyes on him, about when he knew he was in love, and that in another life — in another universe — they still would’ve found each other, somehow, someway.

Nick’s own vows fell from his lips just the same, like nothing had ever been so simple, so right. He watched as tears welled in Charlie’s eyes when he told him that he was the strongest and most amazing person he knew. And he’d meant it. He said so many pretty things — things that he felt with his entire being and would never stop feeling, even when space and time itself came to an end. He promised they’d be together forever, that they were connected, that all along, throughout everything they’d been through and everywhere their lives had taken them so far, there was a string tying them together — invisible to the eye but more real than anything that had ever existed.

“I love you,” Charlie said, his smile bright as he slipped Nick’s ring onto his finger, beside the one from the day they became engaged.

“I love you too,” Nick replied softly, doing the same to Charlie before gently wiping away the tears that glistened on the younger man’s cheeks. “So much.”

He wanted to remember the moment forever — the way they both laughed and sniffled at each other's words; how Charlie slowly moved closer until their chests were practically touching, hearts beating in unison in a rhythm only they could feel; the graze of his fingertips on Charlie’s skin, inching up to the back of Charlie’s neck where his hands could bury themselves in the soft hair that he’d found himself so enamoured by since before the day they had even officially met.

It was one of the first things Nick had realised he liked about Charlie — the way his dark hair curled and flowed so effortlessly, and then how Nick grew to love it even more when he learned how it felt twisted around his fingers, or how it tickled at the skin of his face and neck as they swapped kisses and learned each other thoroughly. He wanted to watch it turn grey alongside his own, to feel the texture change as the years passed and bury his fingers in it one last time as they took their final breaths. And Charlie wanted that too, if his vows and the little contented hum he emitted was anything to go by as he leaned further into his soon-to-be-husband's touch.

Nick could feel Charlie’s breath wafting over his skin, the warmth of it setting Nick’s own lips ablaze in anticipation. There was a hint of mintiness, mingled with the scent of his cologne — the one that he knew Nick liked the most, that he had a habit of wearing on their most special occasions — but all Nick could smell was Charlie, all he could feel was Charlie. Comforting and electrifying, and like home. 

When the celebrant finally announced the words they’d been longing to hear — that they were married, that they were husbands — Nick’s pulse jumped, the words ringing in his ears and overpowering his senses. They both inched closer, hands moving to gently cup each other’s faces as their eyes fluttered closed and their lips finally connected, sealing their vows and marking the next chapter of their lives with a kiss. It was gentle and all-consuming, their lips brushing together in a way that felt both familiar and brand new.

The faint sound of cheering could be heard all around them, drowned out by the quiet hums they both emitted and the thud of their hearts that continued to match each other’s beats. If Nick could kiss Charlie forever he would, if he could lose himself in the feeling of having the love of his life tangled in his embrace until the day he died, he would. It would never get old, never lose its place as his favourite part of each passing day.

They pulled apart slowly, lips tingling as they briefly stayed connected by a shared breath. Gently nuzzling against each other where their foreheads touched, Nick’s eyes blinked open to find Charlie already looking right back at him, pure happiness written all over his face in the form of crinkling eyes and the brightest smile Nick had ever witnessed. Nick’s own smile was just the same, wide and blissful as he peered lovingly at his now-husband, his fingers twisting rhythmically where they remained in Charlie’s hair.

Nick studied Charlie’s face, engraving every detail into his mind — the way his lips were slightly parted, pink from their kiss and matching the blush that painted his cheeks; how his eyes sparkled in the afternoon light, resembling the ocean, pools of blue that Nick would gladly sink and drown in if given the chance; and how he studied Nick right back, taking in the man in front of him as though he was the only thing in the universe worth looking at.

His heart stuttered at the thought. He knew it was true — he was Charlie’s favourite person, just like how Charlie was his. They’d had years of loving gazes, of taking each other in and learning everything there was to know about one another. Charlie had admitted several times, in the moments where it was just the two of them, that he could look at Nick endlessly — and every time Nick whispered back that he would do the same, that if he could only set his sights on one thing for the rest of his life, it would be Charlie. Always Charlie.

They gazed at each other a beat longer, dancing across blushing faces and wind swept hair, and then they were laughing — giddy bouts of their joy erupting from them both like they couldn’t quite believe it was real, that it had actually, finally, happened.

Their laughter continued as they walked back up the aisle they’d come down, fingers entwined — and even still as photo after photo was captured of them, dressed in their wedding suits and standing on the sandy beach, their smiles never fading for a second. It was no surprise to anyone that they were still giggling away as they twirled beneath the blossom-covered ceiling of the marquee, having one of their private moments in the middle of a crowded room, cheeks pink in the twinkling lights that shone down from amongst the flowers.

They swayed together as Taylor Swift’s ‘You Are In Love’ played around them, mixing with the beat of their hearts and the euphoria of the moment. The occasional flower petal floated down from the ceiling, swirling around them in time with the music as if it was some kind of magic, enveloping them in their own little world.

But then Charlie stopped, pausing their movements so that they were standing still in the middle of the dance floor, Charlie’s arms wound tightly around Nick’s neck while Nick’s were around Charlie’s waist, holding him close. Charlie was watching him thoughtfully, eyes filled with wonder as he gazed up at Nick. His lips parted, letting out a small breath, the warm air brushing over Nick’s skin and sending a tingle up his spine.

“You’re my best friend,” Charlie said, and Nick’s heart lurched, a thousand butterflies flitting around inside him at the earnestly spoken words.

Nick smiled. He knew exactly what Charlie meant.

They’d been together for so long, knew each other so deeply, more than anyone else ever would. Nick could see it written all over Charlie’s face; he was utterly enamoured. Enchanted. In love.

Leaning forward, Nick’s arms still encasing his new husband, he carefully brushed their lips together. Charlie melted into it, his hands moving upwards to bury themselves in Nick’s hair like they always did, tugging gently as he kissed him back. 

They pulled apart grinning, panting slightly and tasting at their own lips to savour the moment. It was blissful and mind-altering, a kiss that caused tingles to flood Nick’s body like never before. But then Charlie’s hands were gone from Nick’s hair, trailing down Nick’s arms until he slipped their fingers together. He pulled Nick closer by the hand, their chests bumping together before Charlie moved back a step, then another, outstretching their arms between them. A cheeky smile was plastered on his face as he moved backwards, eyes never leaving Nick’s as he towed him along, both of them stumbling over their feet as they manoeuvred off the dance floor and into the parting sea of guests.

A chorus of cheering and whistling followed them as they slipped out onto the moonlit beach, but neither one of them looked back, not for a second.

“Where are we going?” Nick asked, laughter bubbling up in his chest as he trailed behind Charlie.

“No idea,” he replied, shooting Nick a smile over his shoulder, one that was full of excitement and anticipation, like he’d won a contest.

Nick certainly felt like he had, he felt like the luckiest man in the world — to be married to Charlie, the one person he’d been dreaming about marrying since he was a teenager, and to be trailing after said person on the night of their wedding, just the two of them on an empty beach with the moon as their only witness, reflecting on the water and in his husband’s eyes.

Charlie stopped a few metres from the shoreline, Nick coming to a halt soon after and instinctively wrapping his arms around Charlie from behind. He pressed a kiss to the side of Charlie’s neck, earning a murmur of contentment in return.

“We just ran away from our own wedding,” Charlie pointed out after a moment, placing his hands atop Nicks and leaning back into his husband's touch.

“So what?” Nick mumbled, pressing a few more kisses to Charlie’s exposed neck.

Turning around in Nick’s arms, Charlie pulled Nick towards him by his tie, grinning cheekily and loosening it slightly as he did so. And then their lips crashed together again, on an impulse, the longing to be as close as possible taking over. It was hungrier than on the dance floor — urgent — full of yearning and want and everything they’d been holding back when they weren’t alone.

Nick clung to Charlie, one hand holding firmly at his waist and the other travelling upwards to bury in his dark hair, keeping their faces and bodies flush with one another. He tugged at Charlie’s lip with his teeth, deepening the kiss further, both of them moaning into it as their mouths explored each other in a way they’d been desiring all day.

He wanted to kiss Charlie forever — he wanted to hold him in his arms, gaze at him, feel him, worship him.

Charlie’s fingers left Nick’s tie, abandoning it in favour of the shirt below. He nimbly plucked at a few of the buttons, his cold fingertips brushing against Nick’s hot skin, causing the blonde to jump at the touch. They broke the kiss then, eyes locked and breaths coming out in pants, Charlie’s fingers still teasing at the opening of Nick’s shirt.

He smiled up at Nick, his eyes dancing with something Nick couldn’t quite place, the older man’s soul still floating outside of his body as he came down from the intensity of the kiss. His mind was dazed by Charlie, the feel of fingers and lips and hearts beating in time with one another being the only things in his head.

Charlie kissed him again, this time gentler and over far too soon for Nick’s liking, and then he was gone, dashing off with a laugh and leaving a bewildered Nick in his wake.

Nick’s mind raced to catch up with the turn of events, the loss of his new husband as he ran across the beach and, in turn, the loss of the lips he wanted to kiss again and again and again until he couldn’t kiss anymore.

He stood there momentarily, blinking in what had happened, before his legs started to move and he was sprinting after Charlie, needing him back in his arms where he belonged.

“Oi!” Nick shouted out, running with his dress shirt unbuttoned, letting the cold air nip at his skin as he made a dash to close the space between them.

Charlie stopped in front of the water, waiting, letting Nick catch up. He’d loosened his own tie and top buttons, offering Nick a small glimpse at more of his tan neck, beckoning him to come closer and mark it with his lips.

He lunged to reach him, but Charlie dodged easily, laughing wildly when Nick stumbled in the sand, landing with his feet in the tide of water that crept up the beach. Nick didn’t care — he was laughing too — his feet soaked and his trousers damp, still careening after his husband who was having far too much fun.

This was what Nick loved the most — Charlie happy, Charlie carefree, Charlie in a state of revelry. He might’ve been crazy in times like this, but Nick was too, and he was the one Nick would always choose, would always want, no matter how crazy they or their love for each other seemed.

When Charlie came close the second time, Nick faked left, tricking Charlie into coming closer. His arm swung out as he veered right, bounding towards Charlie and catching him off guard. Nick caught him around his middle, lifting him off the ground in the process and causing a shriek of surprise to escape the younger man as they spun about, trying to balance themselves from the impact.

Giggles poured out of them both, in enjoyment from their game and satisfaction of finally being back in each other’s grasp. Nick’s arms were tight around Charlie, not letting him get away again, revelling in the feel of their bodies pressed together.

“You owe me another kiss,” Nick said pointedly as he set Charlie’s feet back on the ground.

“Oh? Do I now?” Charlie challenged, eyebrow raised even as his hands ran dangerously slow up Nick’s chest.

“Yes,” he stated, swallowing as he watched his husband’s deft fingers work their way to the opening of his shirt. “The last one wasn’t nearly good enough.”

“Well,” Charlie whispered, “I suppose we better fix that then.”

Nick let out a small puff of air, his eyes flickering to Charlie’s mouth. They leaned in, putting an end to the space that separated them, kissing with a gentleness that had Nick melting into the embrace.

A shiver ran up his spine, causing him to gasp before he dived back in for another kiss, then another — the exchange neverending as they held each other close.

The mild temperature around them had dwindled, coldness creeping in. But neither of them cared, neither of them could feel it, their senses overtaken by the heat that raged on between them, like a fire that couldn’t be put out. It radiated off of them — Nick could feel it now — as Charlie’s previously cold fingers seared into his skin, marking him, like a tattoo across his soul.

Charlie’s touch on him felt right, it felt astronomical, in a way that nothing else ever had. It had such an effect on him, as if the very notion of their bodies meeting could change the beat of Nick’s heart, altering every molecule in his body.

They pulled apart, Nick chasing after Charlie’s lips for one more kiss before they rested their foreheads together, catching their breaths.

That was when he felt it, a coldness on his face. He could see it floating down around them out of the corner of his eye, pretending to be stars as it reflected in the light of the moon that wasn’t yet obscured by clouds. It settled around them, landing on the beach that they stood on, sand and snow mixing in a way that seemed unfamiliar and other-worldly.

Nick pulled his face away from Charlie’s, watching as it landed on his husband’s flushed cheeks and mussed hair. He didn't dare to speak, afraid to jinx it — afraid that it would disappear as fast as it came. It felt impossible — impossible that a night could be so perfect, so magical, and that Charlie, dusted in snowflakes, could be gazing at him in the way that he was.

Charlie was the one to end the silence, his voice soft and quiet, like he too was afraid to break the spell they were under.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he uttered.

And Nick felt the whole world stop — the words that fell from his husband’s lips making his hands shake, in a way that he couldn’t explain. A sensation that flooded his entire being, grounding him like a lifeline — Charlie being the one and only person capable of drawing such a reaction out of him by a few earnestly spoken words.

He had whispered the same sentiment into Nick’s ear over and over throughout the night, and then again the next day, cuddled together in the first-class lounge as they waited for their flight. It was something he would never tire of; hearing the man he was in love with murmuring sweet nothings and echoing words of adoration, or even that look of his that Nick knew so well, speaking volumes of the love that he’d felt for Nick since they were teenagers without speaking a single word. 

It had always been obvious to Nick when Charlie wanted desperately to say something so lovely and profound about his feelings, but that he couldn’t, the simple word’s of an ‘I love you’ not proving nearly good enough for the extent of what he felt. He’d seen the look so many times over the years, but it still had such a visceral effect on him — now, when they were married, and back when they were only dating.

He still remembered how it felt to see that look a few short years ago during one of Queer Intentions’ small concerts in Leeds, whilst Nick was at university. It didn’t matter that they weren’t alone — Charlie on stage and Nick amongst the crowd — nor that they were actively keeping their relationship a secret from the public eye. As soon as Charlie looked at him in that way, eyes soft and mouth slightly open as if he was letting out a small breath in an attempt to steady his heart, Nick knew. He knew it was for him. That his presence alone made Charlie feel impossible things, the same way it did for Nick.

It had hit him so fast that he thought time should’ve ended then and there — a feeling that they were going to be together forever, stronger than he’d ever felt it before. He was always going to be Charlie’s and Charlie was always going to be his — and one day, everyone in that venue and the world would know too, that that look of love had been reserved for Nick and no one else.

The way they felt for one another had never been quite so obvious when it came to their onlookers, even in the times when they’d almost been caught by fans or friends that were out of the loop. It was silly, really, considering they’d been fairly hopeless at subtlety when it came to sneaking around.

Interruptions weren’t uncommon to them, it had happened more times than either cared to count — once being when they met up in the park after weeks apart from one another, unable to wait until they were in the confines of Nick’s bedroom to be together again. They had been moments away from a kiss, laying on the picnic rug Nick had brought — Charlie on his stomach as he leaned his face over Nick’s, inching closer, lips almost brushing.

It was a teenage girl that time, standing over them as she waited, hopeful, for a photo with Charlie. It wasn’t the first time someone had wanted a photo with him, but it was the first time one of their impromptu dates had been cut short because of a fan.

They half expected Nick’s flatmates to be waiting for him when they returned later that day, anticipating that slyly captured photos of the pair of them cuddled up on the picnic rug would have been posted somewhere online and their secret would be out. But it didn’t happen. He just snuck Charlie in like he usually did, his flatmates none the wiser, even as they giggled and stumbled their way through the house.

It was far different from the time a photo was snapped of the two mid kiss, huddled up in a corner of a party they’d attended. It had helped that Nick was barely recognisable, Charlie’s hands on his face and his hair an absolute disaster from Charlie running his fingers through it all evening. But some of his friends were being extra sceptical, knowing full well that he had been out that night and that the blonde man who had been spotted snogging the face off of Charlie Spring had apparently looked suspiciously like Nick.

He’d denied it, obviously, shutting down any suspicions they’d had before disappearing back into his room where a thoroughly drunk Charlie lay sleeping in his bed, lips and neck marred from Nick’s kisses.

It didn’t bother them as much now, the fact that people took photos and watched them constantly. It was something they’d always wanted eventually, to not have to hide or keep their relationship a secret. They were in love, had always been in love, and they wanted the world to know that. 

All eyes were on them when it came time to board the plane, crowds forming around them as they walked hand-in-hand to their departure gate.

Pressing his cheek against Nick’s shoulder, Charlie let out a small breath, catching Nick’s attention as they waited in line — their honeymoon in sight.

“Do you think they all know we got married last night?” he mumbled, glancing around the throngs of people before landing his gaze back on Nick.

“No,” Nick told him honestly, there was no way the crowd would've been as tame as it was if they did. He leaned in, lips ghosting across Charlie’s ear as he teasingly whispered his surmission, his breath tickling at Charlie’s skin, causing him to shiver slightly. “It’s ‘cause you’re a superstar.”

Charlie looked at him wide-eyed, giving him a light shove.

“Ugh, don’t call me that!” he grumbled.

Nick was busy grinning, his eyes squinting with amusement at his husband’s obvious aversion to the word. It wasn’t as though it wasn’t true — Charlie was a celebrity, one that people all across the world adored considerably, fawned over, idolised. The word seemed very fitting in Nick’s opinion.

“You’re my superstar,” he amended, planting a kiss on Charlie’s forehead and giving his hand a quick squeeze as they each scanned their boarding passes.

“Nick, that’s so cringe.” Charlie told him, screwing his face up even as a flush of pink covered his cheeks.

“So what?” Nick wondered. “We’re married, it comes with the territory.”

“No,” Charlie argued with a scoff as he tugged Nick through the boarding tunnel. “What comes with the territory is that I have to put up with your cheesy arse for the rest of my life.”

Nick looked momentarily offended, stopping in his tracks and holding his hand to his heart, letting Charlie get a few steps ahead. He squinted his eyes at his husband challengingly, seeing right through him.

“You love it,” he said knowingly, smiling widely as he closed the gap between them again.

Charlie shook his head. “Mm, I really don’t.” 

“Yeah, you do.”

“Fine,” he admitted. “Maybe I do.”

Nick laughed lightly and Charlie joined him, the sound echoing around them as they stepped foot onto the plane.

“I’m looking forward to it, you know,” Charlie declared, taking his seat. He had his hand palm-up on the armrest between them, inviting Nick to hold it in his own. Nick took it gladly, intertwining their fingers together in the way they both loved, his thumb brushing over the back of Charlie’s hand.

“What?” Nick asked, but he already knew.

Charlie’s smile, sweet and unfeigned, gave it away. Nick’s heart skipped a beat, like it always did, anticipating his husband’s next word — a word that would stick with him forever, filling his dreams and his thoughts until they were grey and old and had experienced their whole lives together.

“Everything.”

THE END