Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The past 24 hours have been nothing but chaos for Duke.

It all started when Bruce told them they were all going on a mission together, to "bond", and it turned out that mission would be in Washington, DC. They also weren't allowed to know exactly what the mission was, only that they'd be picking something up from the Hall of Justice. For some reason. Instead of having someone with super speed do it. Like a sane person. 

Bruce had emphasized that they all needed to go, stating something about "brotherly bonding" and it rapidly went downhill from there, with Damian screaming about being the blood son and therefore having no brothers, Tim trying to escape and disappear multiple times and having to be wrangled by Cass, Jason yelling about being a family outcast and how inconvenient this was for him and Dick simply glaring daggers at Bruce before having a "private" conversation (screaming match) with him in one of the studies and honestly, Duke wasn't hurt by any of their reactions. He didn't wanna do this trip either, especially since Bruce insisted they go by car, once again stating "brotherly bonding" as the reason but he tried to have some optimism, not really wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.

Most of that optimism died when they were forced to take one of the smallest cars they owned, meaning one of them was forced to sit between two others, effectively squishing all of them.

After that, it was just a giant mess of packing, unpacking, packing again, watching his brothers get tackled to the ground whenever they tried to run, nearly getting his shoulder dislocated when he tried to sneak away, hearing the girls talk about how much fun they were gonna have with them gone, and Dick running around making sure everyone had everything. It was… eventful. And it led him to now, rolling out of the cramped car with a groan, trying not to immediately lie down on the dry, dead grass beneath his feet despite wanting to so, so badly. The car ride had been long and awful, squished between Damian and the door, breathing each other's air, listening to each other's awful taste in music, a rather violent game of I Spy that caused about three new bruises to start blossoming on his side, Jason and Damian regularly trying to choke Tim from behind despite Dick’s multiple reprimands, and watching Damian and Tim pretend like they didn't both have to go to the bathroom despite both of them doing potty dances. He tried to ask about it but all he got were snarls in response. Literally.

He took a deep breath, leaning down to touch his toes and stretch as his brothers grumbled quietly, moving around each other to get all their luggage, all moving stiffly.

"Thomas."

He hummed, bringing himself back up to his proper height, blood slowly rushing back to where it belonged. He looked down at Damian who glared up at him before holding out the giant cat plushie he had insisted on taking along. Duke, on instinct, gently took the plushed cat and held it carefully, its head flopping to rest on his shoulder as he maneuvered it so he could hold it kinda like a toddler, arm wrapped around it with its weight on his hip. It was nearly as long as Damian was. 

Damian nodded approvingly before stepping off the curb, heading to the back of the car to help Tim and Jason unload while Dick headed inside, probably grabbing one of those trolley things, leaving Duke with his new cat child. Only sixteen and already a single father.

"-I already checked, Babs froze all my accounts temporarily."

Well, that got his attention.

"What?"

Tim looked up from his phone, eyebrows furrowed, a permanent glare on his face. "Jason was asking if we could sneak away and get a better hotel."

"Huh… Yeah, why are we in this one anyway?" He asked, eyeing the hotel. It wasn't horrible or falling apart but it definitely wasn't something he expected when Bruce said he had already booked the place. He had expected something with at least a bit more… Greenery or, well, flair.

Jason groaned, slamming the trunk closed, causing the whole car to jiggle. "It's a fucking test! He wants us to be able to withstand uncomfortable sleeping arrangements for some fucking reason to, I don't know, prove ourselves or some bullshit!"

Damian huffed, shifting from side to side awkwardly. "Father already knows I can sleep under less than ideal conditions. I still sleep at the manor, don't I?"

"Yeah! I slept in a fucking coffin! Everyone knows we all can handle some shit sleeping conditions!"

"If there's roaches, we're running away." Tim threatened, putting a computer bag over his shoulder and grabbing a suitcase as they all watched Dick get closer and closer with the trolley.

Instead of giving some sort of cheerful anecdote or quip as he rolled to a stop, Dick just stuffed their luggage on the platform and handed it off to Jason before leading them all inside, a tired glare set on his face until he spotted the receptionist, his annoyance melting into forced cheerfulness as he went over to get them checked in. The signature ‘Dickie Grayson-Wayne’ smile was always unnerving to see.

“This is such bullshit..” Jason grumbled from behind him as they all entered the hotel, pushing the cart, one of the wheels squeaking loudly and another one refusing to budge, making a screeching noise as it was forced to slide along the tile of the lobby.

“Tell me about it… Last time I let B pick a place for us to stay on an overnight, I ended up in a tent .” Tim hissed, shuddering at the memory while shifting his weight from side to side, glaring at the small water feature near the desk.

“I have been thoroughly trained, he knows I am able to handle uncomfortable conditions like these.” Damian added, now doing a barely noticeable bathroom dance.

“I don’t wanna sound ungrateful or rude.. But why couldn’t he have just done this himself?” Duke added, sighing. “I don’t do well away from home. I miss the stink of Gotham.”

“He doesn’t go on these errands himself because he has us!” Jason snapped, squeezing the bars of the trolley so tight they groaned.

“No, no, he doesn’t do these stupid trips with us anymore because the last few times, Damian and I kept beating his ass in random games! Last time I went with him on a trip like this, I crushed his spirit in a wonderful game of Guess Who Am I and he’s never been the same since! ” Tim spat out, now also doing a bathroom dance, bouncing from toe to toe.

“Well, who were you?”

“.. Oliver Queen.”

“Ooohh, that's evil.” Jason snickered.

“Yes, last time we brought along a small chess board and I beat him fifty six times in a row. I got so bored that when we reached our destination, I asked Jon to play against me. Obviously I won then too but it was more fun teaching him how to play than to sit there and-!”

“All of you!” Dick snapped, pointing a finger at them. “Silence! Whoever is quiet the longest gets twenty bucks, got it?!”

The four of them nodded quietly, looking at least a little bit ashamed of themselves. Duke didn’t really feel that bad but it was clear Dick was stressed and wasn’t having fun hearing his brothers whine behind him.

Luckily, check in went pretty quick after that and they were riding up the elevator to get to their room, squished together once again. However, the second the elevator doors chimed open, there was a loud yelp from behind him and then he was getting shoved aside as Tim bolted out of the elevator, Damian following closely afterwards with a noticeable limp.

“... Did that kid just stomp on the other kid's foot to get to the bathroom first?” Jason asked, pushing the trolley out of the elevator.

“Yup.” Dick sighed, following along at a normal pace, passing Duke a crumpled up twenty who immediately stuffed it into his pocket, belatedly remembering the promise Dick made minutes ago.

“Why didn’t they just use the restroom at the gas station?” He asked, watching Tim bolt into their room and slam the door behind him, causing Damian to almost slam right into it.

“I dunno, both of em got this thing with public restrooms but you can’t exactly blame em.” Jason explained, shrugging. “Bathrooms are gross.”

“Yeah and you didn’t even see the state the ‘basement’ bathrooms were in before both of them got fed up with ‘em. One trough urinal and a line of shower heads a few feet away. No doors, no curtains, nothing.”

Duke shuddered, suppressing a gag as he thought about it. “ Seriously? ”

“Yup. Jason and I weren’t really bothered by it, both of us growing up with limited privacy and all, but you should’ve seen Timmy’s face when he saw it for the first time. He looked like a really upset muppet, complete half circle frown and everything. Timmy's complaints got us shower curtains and a proper toilet or two but Damian , oh my god , you could hear him yelling all the up in the manor, he was so disgusted. Screaming about germs, privacy, how even his mother wasn't as awful to him as this. He and Tim worked together to wear B down and now we have the wonderful bathrooms we have today. Floor to ceiling walls in the toilets, separated showers, towel hangers, lockers, noise machine, bidets , it's so fancy now. Sometimes I come over just to use the bathrooms.” Dick rambled, smiling as he entered their room, passing a very angry looking Damian who was sitting in an awful mustard colored chair in the tiny entryway, glaring at the bathroom door but what immediately caught his attention was the sleeping arrangements.

“Dick… Why’s there only two beds…?” He asked, horror slowly sinking in.

“WHAT?!” Three other voices screeched, one echoing in the hallway, one echoing in the bathroom and the other directly into his ear.

“Technically!” Dick threw the couch cushions aside and pulled on a metal bar across the inside of the couch, unfolding a pullout. “There’s three!” He stated cheerfully.

Duke stared in horror, already imagining the worst. Two of them demanding their own beds, leaving him to either sleep on the floor or in between two people, having to deal with Jason who could barely fit into one of the beds by himself, deal with Dick and his octopus limbs, deal with Tim and have a phone shining in his eyes all night, or worse, deal with Damian and end up getting kicked off the bed.

Dick held up a hand, silencing the upcoming barrage of protests and complaints. “I know but I’ve already figured it out. Me and Jason will sleep in one bed,”

“It's not gonna fit both of us, Dickiebird-”

“Duke and Damian share a bed,”

“No-”

“And Tim gets the pullout.”

“No!” Damian snapped, stomping his foot. “That is unacceptable!”

Tim opened the bathroom door, squeaking when he immediately got shoved aside by Damian and kicked out into the tiny entryway with Duke and Jason. “I can bunk with someone, it’s fine.”

“Tim, I love your self sacrifice but it's not gonna happen. You, and I say this with love!” Dick waited a few seconds for his statement to sink in. “But you are the most high maintenance when it comes to sleep and we need you sharp because you’re the only one that can figure out the navigation system in the car.”

Duke sighed. This is what he gets for lying about not being able to use the navigation system. He knew how to use it but he just didn’t like taking orders from inanimate objects. He carried the cat plush further into the room and gently placed it on the bed closest to the door while Jason started arguing with Dick about how it would literally be impossible to share a bed properly while Dick heavily implied he’d be 100% okay just sleeping on top of Jason which, from the sounds of it, sounded like a sure fire way to get kicked in the crotch. He tried to just tune them out, carefully tucking in the cat plush where he assumed Damian would want to sleep, making sure it looked comfortable before he started helping Tim put sheets and pillows on the pullout.

“Thanks.” Tim hummed, having to speak up to be heard over the sound of Dick and Jason yelling at each other, stretching the elastic of the sheet over another corner, tucking it under the mattress tightly.

“Yeah, no problem. You sure you wanna sleep on this? I mean, I noticed you’ve got a lotta… sleep problems but we could probably call up Bruce and-”

“No, no, I’ll be fine. I’ve managed to sleep in worse places, I can make myself comfortable here. Don’t worry about it.” Tim gave him a semi awkward smile, skin washed out under the bright white ceiling lights and open curtains. He kinda looked like a vampire.

“Alright.. Just keep me updated if things change.” He smiled back, lightly nudging him when they met in the middle of the bed to grab pillows and spread them out properly.

“Yeah, I will. Right now I just wanna sit quietly and enjoy the air conditioning. Something about hotel AC is just so soothing and cold.”

Duke nodded, fluffing up one last pillow before straightening up, stretching a bit to ease out some of the soreness. He was seriously looking forward to the moment the exhaustion hit all of them at once and it was just quiet and peaceful, some of them taking naps and some of them on their phones. Maybe he’d take a nap.

Damian rushed past him, nearly knocking him over before standing next to Dick who was now trying to figure out the AC by the window, the youngest vigilante bouncing from foot to foot, eyes impossibly wide and breathing coming fast, phone clutched tightly in his small hands.

“Oh god- What is it, Dami?” Dick sighed, holding his hand out for the phone but instead the device got shoved in his face. “Okay, you know I can’t see it when you’re this close.”

Damian groaned, nose scrunching up and fingers flexing, clearly frustrated and over excited.

“Damian, don’t forget to breathe.” Duke reminded him, heading over and offering his hand to Damian to play with. He didn’t really understand it but kids seemed to calm down when they had something in their hands to fuck around with and hands were perfect little tools to mess with. Damian seemed to agree, easily handing the phone over to Dick in exchange for Duke's hand, holding it tightly and shaking it back and forth.

“Okay, what..” Dick squinted at the screen, before tensing up. “Dami, I don’t think we have enough money to-”

“It’s free .” Damian interrupted, now full on bouncing. “Free and they have buffalo and arapaima and bears , Akhi!” He started shaking Duke a bit, overexcited.

“Okay, what’re we talking about?” Duke interrupted, going stiff so Damian could do his weird headbang thing.

“If I have to get in that fucking car again, I’m making us crash.” Jason threatened, flipping through TV channels.

Dick sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Damian wants to go to the zoo.”

“No.” Tim and Jason snapped in unison, both of them shooting glares at Damian who looked ready to burst at the seams.

“It’s free! ” Damian protested, nails digging into his arm. “And- and!”

“ And , we’ll do it tomorrow.” Dick interrupted, physically flinching when Damian glared at him. “I know, I know , baby bat but everyone is super tired and it’s the middle of the afternoon so we wouldn’t be able to say hi to all the animals before having to leave so if we go tomorrow, we’ll have all day!”

“Not technically, we have to pick up the thing tomorrow.” Tim reminded, jumping a bit when Dick and Damian glared at him. “What? Just stating a fact…”

“Damian, we’ll go tomorrow, promise.” Dick tried to calm the youngest, left eye twitching.

“But I want to go now! They have buffalo , Richard!”

“Yes, you said that, but we’re all tired and it’s like an hour away and-”

“He’s not actually complaining about not going, you know.” Tim interrupted, eyebrow raised. “I mean, he does this all the time. He convinces himself that we’re gonna go somewhere or do something he wants to do, he gets hyper-”

“I do not get hyper! I’m not a toddler!”

“And then he doesn’t get what he wants so now he’s full of a bunch of energy that he doesn’t know what to do with.”

Damian scowled at Tim. “I never gave you permission to psychoanalyze me, Drake!” He snapped, proving Tim’s point by continuing to play with Duke’s hand.

“I mean… It’s kinda true.” Duke spoke up, jumping when Damians glare got turned on him. “I’m just trying to help! You remember that time you convinced yourself that we’d go to the-....” He glanced at Jason, Tim and Dick. God, they’d tease both of them mercilessly if they knew both of them liked hanging out at the cat cafe near school. Damian might actually gut him in his sleep. “Uh… animal.. Place.. And then we weren’t able to because Alfred didn’t wanna drive us? You ran for three miles straight on the treadmill, Damian. You didn’t stop spouting animal facts the entire time.”

Damian clicked his tongue, baring his teeth. “That was a completely reasonable reaction!”

Jason finally spoke up. “I swear, sometimes I think I’m the only person in the family that knows that kid is autistic..”

There was a long moment of silence before it dissolved into chaos, with Damian screaming and trying to attack Jason while being held back by Dick, Tim brought out his bo staff for some reason and backed himself into a corner, Duke just tried to stay out of Damians line of sight and Dick was desperately trying to calm Damian down while Jason pulled a taser out of seemingly nowhere, threatening to taze Damian.

“I am not autistic!”

“You don’t even know what autistic means, dumbass!”

“Dami, no biting! No biting!”

“I swear, if that thing comes over here, I’m gonna smack the shit out of it!”

“That thing is your brother, Tim!”

“Can everyone just calm down, please ?!”

“ I have no brother !”

Loud banging on the door interrupted them, Duke quickly dodging and moving around his brothers to get to the door, making sure to avoid the taser. He opened the door with his best apologetic face and smile. A man only a bit taller than him stood there, glaring down at him.

“Listen,” The stranger started, holding a hand up to silence Duke's upcoming apologies, “I get it. You’re all brothers and you’re all crammed in here together. I bet you even had a horrible ride over. I get it, I have siblings myself. But my wife and I are just trying to nap and we don’t need to hear every detail of your conversation from three doors away, okay? I’m not saying you can’t fight anymore, I’m just asking for a bit more quiet.”

Duke nodded, looking down at the hideous carpet in shame. “You’re right sir, I’m terribly sorry. Thank you for understanding, we’ll try our best to quiet down.”

“Thanks, kid. You guys have a good day.”

Duke mumbled out a ‘you too’ before closing the door, cheeks burning. God, he always hated it when strangers had to correct them. He turned back to his brothers, who were all tense and in fighting positions and sighed. Why did he go along with this so willingly? He could’ve at least tried jumping out a window when Bruce suggested the idea.

“Autism is a developmental disorder, it basically means you’re wired a bit differently. It’s nothing bad or anything, it’s just something that a lot of people have. Jason didn’t mean to hurt you or insult you.” That got him a tongue click. “Now, Jason, what do you mean you think you’re the only one who knows Damian's autistic? You test him or something?”

Jason shrugged. “I mean, no, but.. It’s pretty obvious. He’s exactly like Bruce.”

Tim snorted. “Bruce isn’t autistic.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “Timbit…” Jason sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Trouble with emotional communication, non verbal episodes, texture issues, takes everything too seriously, black and white thinking, all that shit is like, the definition of autism. Or at least other neurodiversities.”

“He does all of those things because he’s logical. I mean, I do all of those things and I’m not autistic.” Tim shrugged, waving his hand.

“Well…” Dick squeaked out, looking constipated.

“‘Well’? What do you mean, ‘well’? Dick, am I autistic?” Tim looked panicked, doing the hand pinching thing he always does when he’s stressed. “No, I spent like, two months convincing my friends I didn’t have anything wrong with me-”

“Woah, okay, maybe let's not call being neurodivergent wrong.” Jason interrupted, making a face. “Tim, just go to a doctor when we get home and ask em. All I’m saying is that Damian shows a lot of the signs and I’ve been around a lot of neurodiverse kids. Lil man’s got big emotions, that's all.”

Duke shrugged, sitting on the bed. “That does make sense. I mean, everything I’ve read about that kinda thing fits Damian and Tim and B but I didn’t wanna assume anything.”

Jason frowned. “Wait, only Damian, Tim and Bruce?”

“Yeah…? Why?”

Jason glanced at Dick. “No reason.”

Dick dropped Damian, gasping, ignoring the ‘OOMF’ Damian made when he fit the ground. “Am I autistic too?!” He squeaked, jumping onto the other bed with Jason. 

“No! I mean, I dunno! I’m not a doctor, Dickie! Why am I always forced to be the politically correct one? Why can’t it be Duke for once?!”

“Because I’m smart and keep my mouth shut when I need to!”

Dick shook Jason, looking terrified. “But there’s something weird about me and you never told me?!”

“Okay, can we stop calling being neurodivergent weird or wrong or whatever?!” Jason snapped, pushing Dick over who just rolled with the movement and folded himself in half. “Yeah, I kinda suspected you had some sort of mood disorder for a while now, Dickhead.”

“Pff, I do not have a mood disorder!”

“Well….” Tim mimicked Dicks squeaky voice from earlier.

“Tim?! Seriously?! What happened to being on my side?!”

“You did the same exact thing to me, Brutus! Besides, it makes sense! You have your rage episodes and every time I describe those to anyone, they always make a weird face! A-And you also, and I say this with love, but you also tend to be kinda.. Intense.”

“I’m not intense, okay?! Bat- Bruce, Bruce is intense!”

“You’re both intense, Dickhead.” Jason sighed, pushing on Dick’s exposed lower back, further folding him until his knees were covering his ears. “It.. All of you need to see some sort of psychologist, I dunno.”

“Well, what about you?” Damian spoke up as he got up from the floor, crawling over Jason and Dick to get to Duke, sitting next to him and the big cat plushie.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re supposedly the expert on.. Mental issues. So, what’s yours?”

Jason shrugged. “I dunno. I fit in a lotta different categories.”

“BPD, borderline personality disorder.” Tim immediately chimed in, phone lighting up his face. “Emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, insecurity, self harm, social isolation-”

“I don’t self harm!”

“If you think about it, we all self harm.” Duke finally chimed in, seemingly startling Jason.

“The fuck, man?! What happened to Crime Alley loyalty?!”

“Sorry but it’s true! But, to be fair, we all technically self harm. Training until we hurt ourselves and barely stopping then, skipping meals, purposely harming ourselves to build up pain tolerance, I mean… I’ve definitely seen self destructive behavior from all of us.”

“Hm, yes, especially from Drake.”

“I know that’s supposed to be a dig, but you aren’t really wrong.” Duke shrugged, feeling guilty when Tim shot him an offended look.

“Hey!”

“I don’t mean it in an attacking way! You just… You’re a lot like Bruce if he didn’t have Alfred to take care of him. But we’re all like that in a way.”

Dick unrolled, foot hitting the back of Jason's head. “We need to see some sort of doctor, huh.”

Jason shrugged, shoving Dicks legs away. “Can’t hurt but self diagnosis is also valid, especially given our situation. I think it’s best to experiment, see what coping skills and such work best for us and then work our way from there.”

“Great, my coping skill is going to the zoo .” Damian snapped, crossing his arms and glaring.

Duke sighed, gently nudging him. “Or you could scream into a pillow till you feel better.”

“Tch, I am not some teen girl in a movie! I can control myself!”

“What if we all screamed into pillows together?” Dick suggested, grinning. “Could be fun! I’ve had a scream bubbling up in my chest for the past ten hours!”

“No, Richar-”

“It’ll be fun, baby bat! Here,” Dick grabbed one of the pillows from the headboard and shoved his face into it, taking a deep, slow inhale before screaming into it, his whole body tensing and shaking with the effort. He even started to kick his feet and shake his head like a kid throwing a tantrum, really getting into it. He screamed for a solid minute or two before coming up for air, face red and hair a bit matted. “Okay, that was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.”

“Dick, you have issues.”

“Duke! C’mon, you’re supposed to be the nice one!”

Duke frowned, looking down at Damian. “I’m supposed to be the nice one?”

Damian patted his arm, shrugging. “They simply just cannot see past your fantastic façade.”

“Oh good. I was worried for a minute there.”

“Wait,” Tim spoke up, frowning. “You said all of us are neurodivergent, right?”

Jason shrugged, frowning. “Fuck if I know, I’m not a doctor.”

“Okay, but you named all of us besides Duke.”

“Well, yeah, cause I don’t think about the kid that often besides ‘Damn, this kid is fucking cool’ because, despite what you obviously think, I don’t spend my time thinking about all of you!”

“I mean, I don’t think I’m, uh, wired differently, I guess but I’m not a doctor.” He shrugged.

“Well…” Damian started but instead of listening, Duke just pushed him off the bed, snorting out a laugh when he hit the ground with a squeak.

“Hey!” Damian snapped, kicking Duke's calf in retaliation before hopping back up on the bed, this time further away from him to avoid getting pushed off again.

“I mean, and I say this with love, but you do do some weird things sometimes..” Dick shrugged, yelping when he was smacked in the back of the head with a pillow.

“Stop calling normal shit weird!” Jason snapped, rolling his eyes.

“Alright! Geez, Mr Grumpy Pants over here.. But anyway, a sign of being neurodivergent is texture issues and you seem to have a lot, Duke.”

Duke frowned, trying to remember if he had any issues with textures but nothing came to mind. “Like what?”

“Like how you can’t wear clothes with tags! Or eat all your food in a specific order!”

“Dick, I think those are normal and besides, I don’t get, like, up in arms about those things, they’re just annoying and I like saving the best bites for last.”

Jason sighed, rubbing his face. “If there was a Bechdel test for not being vaguely ableist, we’d all be failing so hard right now…”

“You make the same face I do when people don’t say the thing you expect them to say.” Tim supplied, now pulling various things like a sleep mask, earplugs and cords out of his bag. “Also, you seem to thoroughly enjoy more stimulating activities than others, such as loud music, flashing lights, etcetera. If autism and other neurodiversities are frequently seen as being sensory avoidant but also a spectrum, then I guess you’d be more on the sensory seeking side. I’ve seen you get antsy and frustrated around the W.A. due to the lack of stimulus but seemed to be perfectly fine when we were fighting in that underground rave, even seemed to enjoy yourself, while most of us were overstimulated afterwards.”

Duke grinned as he remembered how nice the lights were, how fascinated he was by all the LED objects, like gloves, retainers, anything you could think of and the way it felt like the music was buzzing through his skin.. It was nice. “I liked that one, so good point. Maybe we should all do more research on this when we get home?”

Dick nodded, leaning against Jason who was now focusing on the TV, trying to log into the family Netflix account. “Yeah! Could be fun to learn more about ourselves! And it’ll definitely explain some of our odd habits! Maybe even help us understand each other a bit more..?” He pointedly looked at Tim and Damian, grinning hopefully.

Tim simply flipped him off and got under his covers, holding his phone inches away from his face and officially zoning out while Damian huffed.

“I refuse to understand why Drake does all the strange things he does.”

Duke shrugged and yawned, the conversation fizzling out while everyone attempted to mentally recharge. Dick and Jason had a semi-silent argument over what to watch, landing on an old sit-com they all vaguely enjoyed, Tim was clearly dead to the world around him and Damian was tracing various patterns on his cat plushie, eyebrows furrowed and obviously tense.

Duke reclined next to him, sighing as his cheek met the cold comfort of the pillow. “What’s their name?” He asked quietly, eyeing the cat.

“Bing Bong. They help me sleep. Smells like home.” Damian answered, whispering, obviously not wanting the others to hear him. They had developed an odd relationship when Duke first arrived, Damian not knowing what to do with him and him not really knowing what to do with Damian but eventually they managed to find something. Duke talked about the things he was self conscious about, Damian talked about the things he was self conscious about. It was nice, having that special connection. Just two nerds in a family full of losers.

“Nice. I like sleeping on hoodies sometimes, makes ‘em feel right the next day. More comfortable.”

Damian nodded, gently rubbing Bing Bong’s paws between his fingers. “That is understandable. I like it when my clothes smell like me… I know you are probably tired, but..” He took a deep breath, now glaring at him but there wasn’t any heat behind it. He usually made that face when he was about to ask something he found embarrassing. “Could you and I go get some food?”

Duke nodded, pulling the twenty Dick gave him earlier out of his pocket. “Sure, let's go nuts.” He said before sitting up with a groan, lower back and knees aching and hopped/stumbled out of bed while Damian rushed to the door, doing his little tiptoe dance again. “Dami and I are gonna find a snack machine, you guys want anything?”

“Somethin’ salty, don’t care what.” Jason replied, eyes not leaving the TV.

“Sprite and anything with some sugar in it! I’ll also get us some DoorDash while you guys are down there.”

Duke looked over to Tim who just made some vague hand signals, eyes still glued to his phone, clearly recharging after the long car ride over.

“Timmy wants whatever energy drinks you guys can find and..” Dick squinted at Tim, clearly trying to either read his mind or decipher his hand movements. “Pretzels? No, no.. Tim, you can’t just get an energy drink, you’ve barely eaten! Get him something with substance in it, would ya? Here,” Dick handed over a fifty from another pocket, just as crumpled as the other one.

“Oh, uh, you want the change?”

“Nah, I stole that off of Bruce. You’d think he’d be better about not letting his own kids pickpocket him…”

Duke opened his mouth to say he wasn’t really comfortable with using stolen cash but remembered the billionaire had put them in this, at best, three star hotel so he kept his mouth shut and nodded, heading out with Damian who was clearly excited to be moving around.

He headed towards the stairs, figuring the younger would want the physical exercise, opening up the heavy door for him, earning him a mumbled thanks.

“So. Why’d you want me to carry.. Your stuff?” He figured it’d be better not to mention Bing Bong by name and risk Damian getting embarrassed.

“... My stuff is fragile. Couldn’t risk someone just shoving th- it wherever there was room. I knew you’d carry it properly. Besides, I didn't wanna seem… weird.”

Duke nodded, humming. He got it. A young boy carrying around a giant stuffed cat was adorable but seen as childish and a bit weird to some, given that plushies and cats were viewed as ‘girly’ things. Plus, Damian was weird when it came to things that would make him seem even remotely childish or weak. “I get it.”

Damian nodded, practically skipping down the stairs but being kind enough to wait at the bottom for Duke whenever he reached a new floor.

Chapter Text

They returned with snacks and drinks galore, Duke having to use his shirt as a basket to hold all the snacks while Damian opened the stairwell door for him, holding the drinks.

“I do not understand why Drake consumes this garbage. If it is not suitable for pregnant or nursing people, how could it be suitable for the immunocompromised?” Damian huffed, glaring at the back of the bright pink Monster can as they walked through the long carpeted hallway, the heavy stairwell door slamming shut behind them, the noise loudly echoing through the hall.

“Tim’s a smart guy, he’s probably got an argument locked and loaded for that.”

“Intelligence does not cancel out self destructiveness, as clearly proven by both Drake and Father.”

Duke chuckled, rolling his eyes. “He’ll handle a bit of caffeine, Dami. It’ll be okay and if he hurts himself, you can lecture him all you want.”

That seemed to satisfy the youngest as they unlocked the room door, shuffling inside, stepping over their strewn open suitcases and backpacks.

“We bring a bountiful feast before the great lord DoorDash decides to bless us.” Duke dramatically declared as he shuffled in, making sure to keep his voice down to match the quiet tone of the room.

Dick clapped happily and hopped up, taking the snacks out of Duke’s shirt pouch and tossing them to the correct people. Pretzels and trail mix for Jason, protein bar for Tim, sour candies for himself and the rest got dumped on Damian and Duke’s bed, sorted into piles of ‘Up for grabs’, ‘Duke’s’ and ‘Damian’s’. Damian kindly passed out drinks before hopping up on their bed, snuggling up to Bing Bong before grabbing his apple slices and oranges.

“When’s the DoorDash gonna get here?” He asked, cracking open his orange soda.

“Uhh, like, thirty something minutes?”

“Mkay.” He took a few sips of his drink, leaning back against the headboard with a pleased sigh. “When it gets here, I can go down and get it, I need to call my parents anyway.”

Jason cracked his neck loudly, yawning. “I’ll head with you. Might need extra hands.”

Duke nodded, eyes drifting to the TV. He knew Jason was actually just going to watch over him and make sure he was okay, the buddy system a habit that was deeply ingrained in both of them from growing up in Crime Alley and was further enforced by Bruce. He usually found it kinda demeaning when one of his new family members tried to ‘watch over him’ like that, like they were assuming he was weak but it was just different when it was Jason. They were looking after each other, the two brothers equals.

Duke entered the lobby with Jason, taking stock of their surroundings out of habit. The sun was starting to set, a sign people would be getting more bold. There were only two people behind the receptionist’s desk, one quietly typing something on the computer in front of them while the other looked down at their phone with pure boredom, the wall mounted TV a few feet away displaying the news. Other than that, there weren’t many possible threats. Fuck, he missed walking into a room and not mapping out all the possible exists and threats. He was so young and simple back then.

Jason led them over to a line of chairs in the lobby, sitting down with a huff. He sat down next to Jason with a grunt, wincing as his back protested against it, holding back the urge to roll his eyes when Jason looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You good?”

He blew out a heavy sigh, blowing a raspberry as he sunk into the chair further. “Yes, I’m fine.” He was starting to reach his social limit, having been stuck in the car with his brothers all day and he really didn’t want to have a whole emotional ass conversation over his lower back hurting.

“.. ‘Kaaaay, didn’t sound like it. I’ve got some Tylenol in my bag if you need it.”

“I’ll live.”

“Hm.” Jason definitely wanted to keep talking but luckily dropped the subject, going back to boredly staring straight ahead. See, this was a guy who knew when to shut the fuck up, it’s one of the reasons why he liked him.

“.. I’m gonna call my parents.” He said after a few minutes of silence, already pulling out his phone and dialing up the number he had memorized by now.

Jason nodded, looking over. “Want me to leave?”

“Nah.”

“Cool. Tell em I said hi.”

That was another cool thing about Jason. He didn’t get that stupid stage fright look when Duke brought up his parents. He’s always been so great about it, about pretending they weren’t insane, that they weren’t trapped inside their own minds. He just got it.

“ Gotham Central Psychiatric Hospital, how may I help you today? ”

Duke recognized the nurse’s voice immediately, trying not to look into that particular fact too hard. “Hey Matt, it’s Duke Thomas, I was just calling to check in.”

“ Duke! Oh, it’s nice to hear from you! Your parents were asking about you all day! ”

He knew it was a lie. He knew they knew he knew it was a lie. Everyone knew what was happening, why the nurse was lying and why Duke was going along with it. It was protocol. To keep some semblance of normalcy. To make it seem like his parents were in a nice, peaceful old folks home and not… There.

“Yeah, I’m just out of the city for a little while, doin’ a road trip thing. Think I might bring them a souvenir or something.” There was a short, awkward silence.

“.. I’m not sure that fits with our safety measures, Duke. ”

“Oh. Yeah. Well, that’s cool. No worries. Anyways, I just wanted to call and check in. Make sure to tell ‘em I said hi, my buddy says hi too. Oh, I also have a new joke for them!”

“ Alright, hit me with it! ”

“What has four wheels and flies?”

“ Hmm… The batplane? ”

“Nope! A garbage truck!”

Matt snorted, tinny giggles coming through the phone. “ Alright, you got me there, kid. That was a good one, I think your parents will love it. Hell, I think the whole staff is gonna love it. ”

“You flatter me.” He joked, smiling. He hated this act. It made him want to cry. But it was better than the alternatives. “Anyway, I gotta go, hope you have a good day.”

“ You know I’ll try. Take care of yourself, Duke. Bye.”

“Bye.” He hung up, nervously cracking his knuckles. “They say hi.”

Jason nodded, thankfully not looking at him. “Could get them a map or somethin’.”

“Huh?”

“For souvenirs. I, uh, know what the rules are at your folks place so something paper, like a map, would be acceptable as a gift but I’ve got no clue if they’d allow it. If we go to the zoo Dami is dying to get to, you could bring back a map.”

He smiled, heart clenching in his chest. He lightly nudged his brother, smile widening when Jason gave him a half hearted scowl that he always wore when he was trying to look tough and the family was ruining it for him.

“Softie.”

“Snitches get stitches, Thomas.”

Duke snorted, holding his hands up in a faux defeat gesture. “Hey, I wasn’t gonna tell anyone but my silence might need.. To be.. Bought… what’re you doin’?” He frowned, trailing off when Jason ‘casually’ put his arm across the back of Duke’s chair, twisting around to look behind them. It was a move that seemed completely normal, like he was just stretching or looking for the pizza guy but it gave Jason quick and easy access to his ear, allowing whispers to go unnoticed.

“Guy just entered, the receptionists got scared and keep looking over here. Knife on his thigh.” Jason whispered.

Duke snorted out a fake laugh and rolled his eyes, looking over towards the desk as casually as he could. The guy Jason was worried about was big, maybe bigger than Jason but his movements were clumsy. Those muscles were for lifting and hitting hard but not much else. Strangely enough, he was well groomed, not fitting the usual profile but people were getting smarter these days but the knife was definitely an open threat. God, now every single one of his brothers were going to give the toxic masculinity lecture again and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from joining in and then their pizza would end up cold from all their ranting.

“Why do we always have to be the cool male saviors..?” He murmured while the man headed up to the receptionist's desk, now ‘flirting’ with the poor person who was typing on their computer who now looked absolutely terrified, glancing over at him and Jason for help. At least he didn’t go after the obviously younger one who was now sneaking off into the back.

“You lead her away, I keep an eye on the guy?” Jason suggested, now slowly leaning forward to no doubt further hide the weapons hidden on his own body.

Duke nodded and took a deep breath before getting up, heading over to the desk with a slight jog. They were lucky the guy very obviously didn’t scan the lobby before targeting the worker or else this might not work.

“Um, ma’am?” He interrupted, smiling nervously when he gained both of their attentions.

“Hey, kid, can’t you see we’re having a conversation here?” Knife Guy snapped, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, but, uh, well, the ice maker down the hall is making really weird noises and there’s, like, a lot of water coming out of the bottom?” He lied, pointing down the hall where he spotted an icemaker when he and Damian went looking for snacks. 

“Oh! Yeah, give me a second!” She visibly relaxed and rushed into the back, soon coming out with the other receptionist and a load of towels.

“Oh, here, let me help you with that.” Knife Guy started but Duke smoothly stepped in front of him, taking one of the stacks of towels.

“I don’t think it’s a big deal but I just wanted to make sure you guys knew about it!” He spoke, giving the girls the excuse to pretend not to have heard Knife Guy. “But, my uncle owns a couple machines like that and whenever there’s a leak it’s always a huge problem for him and I just didn’t want the water to get the chance to cause any damage and, well, I just wanted to make sure no one slipped for something!” He lied as he led them down the hall, giving one last glance towards Jason before he disappeared from sight. He led them further down the hall, stepping into the small alcove holding the ice machine and delicately setting the towels on a cleanish surface.

“You did the right thing, kid, thank you so much! Um, where is the spill?” The older one asked, rapidly tensing up once she noticed there wasn’t any water.

“Hm? Oh, I lied, sorry. My brother told me to get you guys away from that guy so I did. He seemed.. Unpleasant.”

The two workers relaxed once again, putting the towels down and headed further into the alcove to hide themselves.

“Thank you, our security guard isn’t here yet and crap, he is terrifying !” The younger whisper yelled, shaking a bit.

“He comes around occasionally, I heard about him from the night shift. We can’t exactly do anything because he only ever says creepy stuff but we’ve been trying to find something to ban him for, for weeks now.” The older one explained, glaring at the direction of the lobby, keeping quiet as well.

“Don’t worry, my brother can get him to leave. Oh, I’m Duke by the way.” He held his hand out for a handshake, smiling.

“I’m Charlie, this is Mary.” Charlie, the older one introduced, shaking his hand. “Your brother isn’t going to do anything stupid, right? That guy is huge, I don’t wanna have to call an ambulance today.”

“My brother works for a private security firm, he’ll be able to handle that guy and if he can’t, he’ll call my other brothers.” He lied smoothly.

“Oh!” Mary pointed at him, recognition finally crossing her face. “You were checking in earlier! You were holding the cat plushie, right?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh my god, it was so cute, I was so focused on the plushie that I must’ve forgotten your face! Jeez, if those guys were your brothers then we really don’t have anything to worry about. Charls, these guys were built .” She made various gestures that he just assumed were about Dick’s and Jason’s muscles which was… Weird, but he was used to it by now.

“Alright… Well, if we can hide back here for a few minutes, our security guard should be here and can hopefully ask him to back off but that’s just a temporary fix. I think he knows our schedules by now. Stacy, one of the night shift workers said that he always conveniently shows up when security is out.” Charlie sighed, rubbing her face. “God, I wish it was okay to call the police on someone because they’re being insanely creepy. I mean, I know we can but the police wouldn’t take us seriously.”

Crap. Jason was going to kill this man. This was exactly the kind of situation that made his hairs stand on end when around Jason, his instincts telling him to get out of his second eldest brother's way to avoid getting caught in any crossfire.

He sighed and lightly tugged on his braids, needing something to fiddle with. “Okay, you two stay here. I’ll call my other brother and trust me when I say they can get him banned from all nearby locations for the next… ever.” He reassured them and stepped out of the alcove, pulling out his phone and waiting until the two receptionists started having a whispery conversation before calling Dick, who picked up after two rings.

“ You okay? We’re getting hungry up here! ”

“We’ve got a situation down here. Everything is okay but there’s a creep who’s been harassing workers for weeks now, memorized their schedule and is currently armed with a knife. Big but no clear fight experience from what I can tell.”

Duke heard Dick get out of bed, probably grabbing a few weapons before heading out, the door slamming behind him. “Is everyone safe?”

“Yeah, I’m with the workers, Jason is keeping an eye on the guy in the lobby. Their security is coming soon but we need something to get this guy banned, maybe a few restraining orders as well just in case.”

“On it. Stay on call.” There was the sound of harsh fabric rubbing against the mic, presumably from Dick putting his phone in his pocket.

Duke sighed and leaned against the door frame, keeping the lobby in sight.

“Thank you so much for this.” Mary interrupted his thoughts, smiling brightly. “You’re very brave for helping us.”

“It’s no problem and don’t worry, my other brother is on his way. He’s pretty good at getting what he wants so he can have this whole thing wrapped up pretty quickly.”

“Goodness, how many siblings do you have?” Charlie asked, chuckling.

“Four brothers, one sister.”

The two looked at him with horror.

“Yeah, we get that reaction a lot.” He chuckled, remembering the various times his friends would cringe when he brought up how many siblings he had.

“Christ, I’ve only got one baby brother and that’s enough for me.” Mary shook her head, shuddering. “Four more? No thanks. But you guys seem to get along, that's nice! Usually with that many siblings, it’s hard to get along or even stay in the same room for very long!”

“Ye-” Duke was interrupted by a shout and a loud thunk , making him flinch. Guess Dick and Jason figured out how to get rid of the creep. Damn, that was fucking fast. Did Dick run here? “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” He turned and jogged silently down the hall just to be safe and sighed when he saw Knife Guy crumpled to the floor, Jason and Dick standing over him.

“Guys…” 

Dick looked over and threw his hands up, huffing. “Duke! You’re never going to believe this! This asshole -” He kicked the guy in the side, “tried to stab Jay! My sweet little baby brother! Can you believe it!” He shook his head, clearly playing the whole thing up.

“Oh wow, that’s serious. You should call the police.” Duke’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out, finally ending the call with Dick and tapping the text notification he got.

It was just a series of pizza emoji’s from Tim along with a string of question marks and some exclamation points. Dude really typed like Cass when he was going nonverbal.

“Oh, hey, that’s ours.” Jason spoke up when a pizza guy entered the lobby, looking terrified when they saw Jason holding his bloody side, the guy crumbled on the ground and Dick angrily tapping his foot while presumably calling the police.

“Duke, go bring the pizza back to our room, we’ve got it from here.” Dick ordered, Rich Overprotective Older Brother persona now completely on. Honestly, it was really fun to see Dick get like this but he was starting to get tired and hungry and if he stalled with the pizza anymore, he was sure Damian would come down to check things out and that was the last thing he needed.

“Alright.” He went, grabbed the pizza and handed over a few bills he got in change earlier and headed towards the elevator, waving goodbye to Mary and Charlie, who were looking pretty terrified but still waved back.

He was pretty disappointed he wouldn’t be able to see Dick yell about his ‘sweet, baby brother’ being ‘horrifically attacked’ while Jason just loomed there, occasionally doing an obviously fake sniffle or sound of pain to encourage/goad Dick. It was one of his favorite bits the two did, never failed to make him laugh so hard his stomach hurt. The poor victim's reactions to said bit was always hilarious and usually fear filled due to the fact they usually pulled this prank when Jason had some blood on him.

He reasoned that Tim would steal copies of the security footage later for them to all laugh over. He exited the elevator, hurried down the hall, scanned his room key and went in, noting that Tim and Damian were now sitting on the two separate beds, watching the TV play an old Markiplier FNAF video. Nice.

“What happened? Are we needed?” Damian questioned, tearing open the pizza boxes the second they were within reach, immediately taking a few cheese sticks.

“Nah, just some creep, had a hunting knife, been terrorizing the workers here. Jason and Dick are handling it, they’re doing the big brother baby brother bit and they called the police.”

Tim snorted, getting out of the bed to grab a few slices of pizza, using a hand towel for a plate. “I’ll grab the footage later.”

“I assumed you would.” Duke also got himself a hand towel to use as a plate, sitting next to Damian. “What are we on?”

“Five Nights at Fredricks four.” Damian answered, hiding his smile. The ‘Five Nights at Fredricks’ joke started around when Duke first got there and caught Damian watching some old videos while drawing. He made a joke about how weird it was to hear the kid use an acronym or a nickname after hearing him talk so formally this whole time and it simply went downhill from there, with Damian terrorizing their older siblings and Bruce by telling them about the FNAF lore as grammatically correct as possible while Tim and Duke gave them the slang filled versions. They nearly made Dick cry from frustration from trying to bond with his baby brothers and getting the garbled mess. It also didn’t help that all three of them kept forgetting certain details involving the lore.

“I think the fourth is my favorite, to be honest.” Duke admitted, humming happily when he bit into his pizza. They didn’t get some cheap shit either, this was the good pizza with real cheese that was stringy and tasted so fucking good, fresh veggies on top, homemade tomato sauce and homemade crust. It was fucking decadent.

“I enjoy Sister Location. It holds a lot of lore and I believe it to be more entertaining than some of the others as well as better made. It is also done perfectly, allowing the character freedom to roam and move but still supplies that cramped yet exposed feeling that Security Breach failed to capture. The reason why the games are so terrifying is because the player has very limited movement, something that was fairly new at the time, I believe, and there was no way to protect yourself properly. You could find temporary solace in closing doors but that would ultimately drain your battery. I feel Security Breach could have been a lot better if it was done by a team that better understood that brand of helpless horror and if it was worked on more properly.” Damian rambled, a very familiar rant, as he deconstructed his cheese rolls, eating the bread parts before eating the cheesy middle like a little weirdo.

“I like the second one.” Tim added, “The mask is comforting.”

“The mask one is the second one? I always think it comes later than that..”

“No, because the third one is the one with the..” Damian snapped his fingers a few times, frowning.

“The old guy.”

“Yes! The old man in the suit.”

Duke shuddered. “That one always freaked me out the most. Not even in a horror way, it mostly just confused me.”

“Overwhelming game.” Tim supplied, flicking his fingers to symbolize the flashing lights the game featured.

“Honestly, one of my least favorites in the series.” 

Damian nodded. “The lore was very confusing in that one however, I did have a fever when I decided to finally watch playthroughs of that game so that may have severely impacted my opinion of the game overall.”

“I think the game is fever inducing so maybe you kinda just balanced everything out, ya know?”

Tim nodded wisely. “He saw the true Five Nights at Freddy’s.”

“Clipped through the wall and saw the game for what it truly was.. A fucking fever dream.” He chuckled then nearly choked on his own spit when Markiplier screamed after talking about how the first night is never that hard, Damian hitting his back to ‘help’ while also cackling.

“Oh my god! That-” Tim wheezed, hitting the bed. “Titans Tower!” He choked out which made Duke have to roll off the bed and take a lap, laughing like an idiot while he paced in front of the beds, Damian stuffing his face into a pillow to muffle his squeaky cackles.

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” Duke wheezed, trying to breathe properly while the ridiculous scenario ran through his head over and over again, forcing him to go down on his knees as he giggled, imagining Tim as Markiplier and Jason stuffed in some cheap Chica suit.

“ Titans Tower .” Damian whispered before erupting into another fit of giggles, rolling around on the bed and nearly kicking the pizza off it.

The door to the room clicked and whirred but the sound was barely audible over all of them trying their hardest to stop laughing, Duke covering his mouth, Damian now covering his whole head with a pillow and Tim looking up at the ceiling and fanning his face, obviously holding back tears. The door opened and their brothers stepped in, frowning at the sight in front of them.

“You guys get gassed or something?” Jason asked, the sound of him once again throwing the ridiculous image into his head and forcing him to squeak out more laughter, hitting the carpet below him while he heard Tim smack the bed a few times before falling off with a thump .

“Okay, I love seeing you guys happy and getting along- Damian, stop pointing and laughing, it’s rude- but I would love some context as to why you’re all laughing at Jason.” Dick asked, helping Duke get back on his feet as their laughter died into breathy giggles.

“Dick,” Tim started, peeking up over the bed, grinning, “There’s so many layers to what we’re laughing about that we can’t even begin to explain it to you.”

Duke giggled, sitting back down next to Damian who stopped his writhing around but still had his mouth covered with his pillow, hiding his smile, eyes barely visible from how big his grin was.

“You could at least fuckin’ try to explain why you’re laughing at me.” Jason snapped, crossing his arms, his cheeks turning a bit red from embarrassment.

“No, no, hold on!” Duke grabbed the remote and rewound the video, ignoring Dick’s exasperated groans when he saw what they were watching. He replayed the clip, trying his hardest to fight his giggles and paused it when it was over, looking over at Tim with a grin.

“Titans Tower.” Tim explained before snorting then hiccupping, making Damian point and laugh again.

“What?”

Jason stared at the TV for a few seconds before chuckling. “Yeah, okay, that’s kinda funny.”

“I don’t get it.” Dick complained, snatching a few slices of pizza and sitting down next to Tim.

“It’s- Dick, if they explain it to you then it stops being funny and I’ve never seen the demon brat this giggly so you’re just gonna have to remain in suspense here.” Jason huffed, grabbing an almost empty pizza box, adding some cheese sticks and then just took the box for himself to use as a plate.

“Fine but can we watch something else?”

“No!” Duke, Damian and Tim exclaimed, now no longer giggling.

“We’ve watched this a thousand times! I see this man's face in my nightmares!”

“Suck it up!” Tim shoved Dick which got him shoved back and predictably it evolved into a slap fight, both of them fighting like children and not trained vigilantes, with Dick giving Tim an aggressive noogie while Tim kept trying to bite him.

“We’re watching this because I’ve never seen it.” Jason took the remote and unpaused the video, stashing it in his pocket before sitting on Duke’s and Damian's bed despite Damian’s protests. “Explain this all to me, I don’t get it.”

Duke saw Damian’s sinister grin in the corner of his eye and decided to let natural selection take its course. “Well, Five Nights at Fredricks-”

After several hours of explaining FNAF lore to Jason, much to Dick’s dismay, they were finally ready for bed, all of them sporting new bruises from all the elbowing and wrestling they had to do to get a moment in the bathroom and the random brawls for the TV remote. Luckily, the fighting ended when the man who reprimanded them earlier showed up again and basically begged them to shut the fuck up, all of them now too embarrassed to keep rough housing around. Dude even brought his wife along who looked at least half as embarrassed as them, clearly not wanting a confrontation. The police also showed up once or twice to interview Jason, Dick and Duke again but that went relatively quickly given the fact Dick was being difficult on purpose.

Duke settled in bed, putting his bonnet on before hooking his phone up to his charger, the bedside table a giant mess of crumbs, greasy hand towels, random medicine bottles, trash, some knives and other various weapons and a single tiny bottle of moisturizer that the hotel provided that he tried and decided it sucked and just used the lotion he brought along.

Dick jumped in bed with a groan, burying his face in the pillows. “Don’t wake me up unless it's an emergency and even then, I will kick you in the balls as punishment.” He warned, crawling under the covers with a huff, his statement significantly less threatening with his retainer lisping his words, something that both Tim and Jason gave him shit for despite the fact they wore them too but pointing that out got him an elbow right between his ribs so he had dropped it.

“God, don’t be so transphobic, Dickhead.” Jason joked from the bathroom, finishing patching up the slash on his side. They had all examined it earlier and had determined it wasn’t that bad, just needed some bandaging and would be good. It also helped that the Lazarus Pit would have it healed by morning.

“How is that transphobic?”

There were a few beats of silence, Duke watching Jason step out of the bathroom, into Dick’s line of sight and gesturing towards himself, specifically his top surgery scars.

“I don’t- Jason, that means nothing to me.”

Duke snorted, Damian groaning next to him.

“Wh- I don’t have balls , Dick! Did you seriously forget that?!”

Dick stared at him for a few moments, eyes wide and face slowly going red. “... No-”

“Oh my god.”

“Jay-”

“I’ve been walking around with my shirt off for a good hour now!”

“It’s hard to see with all your other scars!”

“You knew me before I transitioned!”

“Listen-!”

“It’s okay, Jason, he forgets I’m bi all the time.” Tim added, clearly trying to stir the pot.

“Well, hold on, let’s be fair,” Duke held up his hands to calm them down, which obviously didn’t work. “Dick forgets straight people exist too so it’s not that he’s ‘phobic, he’s just a little…”

“Stupid.” Damian added, muffled by Bing Bong.

“Yeah, that’s the word.”

Jason rolled his eyes and huffed, shoving Dick over so he could get into bed, both of them clearly unable to fit without overlap but they didn’t seem to mind much, Dick happy to snuggle up. “I can’t believe you forgot.”

“Jesus, you’re freezing- It’s hard to remember sometimes okay?! You pass so well!”

“Lazarus pit really say trans rights, huh.” Tim joked.

The five of them went quiet after a round of giggles, the flow of the conversation coming to an end now that it was time for bed, the only sounds being Jason and Dick moving around to get comfortable and while normally, silence wouldn’t be a problem- Okay, that was a giant lie. Duke hated silence.

He despised the fact he could hear his own heartbeat, could hear every single one of his siblings breathing, could hear when they shifted ever so slightly, it felt like pure hell. Even at the manor there was some noise, Gotham providing a morbid but calming ambience day and night. It was always faint in the manor, given how far it was from everyone else, but you could still hear the city clearly. Ambulances, police cars, insects singing outside, gunshots, his favorite sound always being the quiet, muffled conversations he caught when his night shift family members came home. Footsteps going past his door, the occasional sound of the TV playing a movie way too loud, muffled play fighting and laughter that’s barely contained in the hallways as various people head in for the night or are trying to find something they left in their rooms. Always loud enough to be heard but quiet enough not to wake him up. 

You’d think a house that big, full of people who were trained to be silent no matter what, it’d be a lot more quiet, that you wouldn’t be able to hear someone walking behind you but the wood floors were old and creaked every few steps no matter what they did and sometimes they were so tired and felt safe that they felt no need to silence themselves and besides, everyone memorized everyone elses footsteps a long time ago. It was easy, everyone having their own way of making a bit of noise. Besides Cass, she usually tried her best not to sneak up on people… Most of the time. Startling someone wasn’t a problem for her since she could easily take all of them down in case they decided to throw a panic punch and she also thought it was funny to scare them sometimes.

But the dead silence was nerve wracking, habitual anxiety creeping its way into him, forcing his ears to strain to listen for someone who could hurt him or try to overhear a conversation to gather intel but there was nothing besides his own breathing, his siblings breathing and the occasional rustling of sheets.

“... Is there a Gotham ambience thing on Youtube or something?” Damian’s quiet voice borderline echoed in the dark, springing them all into action.

“Oh thank god, I couldn’t stand that for another second.” Dick whined, sitting up. “It’s so creepy!”

“Yeah, it was starting to freak me out.” Jason grumbled, grabbing the TV remote off the nightstand and turning the screen on, making all of them flinch from the sudden light.

“I don’t think there’s anything ambience wise we can play but I sometimes watch House when I need some home, it’s got a lot of ambulance noises in it.”

“Isn’t there a firefighter show or something?” Duke suggested, trying to remember details from all the TikTok clips he's seen.

“I don’t care what it is as long as it’s something, the silence was getting much too intense for my tastes. Christ, even in the League there was some background noise. Mostly people crying but one has to make do.”

“Just keep it down so that guy doesn’t complain again.”

“He seemed so reasonable but I felt so bad for his wife.” Duke sighed, holding his pillow as Jason pulled up ‘House’.

“Wait,” Tim held his finger up and took off his eye mask, pulling out his phone. “Give me a second, I’m just now remembering how problematic this show is.” After a minute, Tim shook his head. “Nope, gotta watch something else. Pedophilla, explicit animal abuse. Sorry.”

“How the fuck did you not know that?” 

“Because I was asleep during those parts! Okay, okay, hold on…. Okay, the firefighter show with that dude from Parks and Rec?”

“That’s the one!”

“Okay, okay… Okay, no pedophillia but some animal deaths once or twice in later seasons- Nope, graphic overdose scene in episode one.”

“How about we just watch Parks and Rec?” Dick suggested, sounding exhausted.

“There’s no ambulance sounds in it, that shit is like a lullaby to me.” Duke whined, rubbing his face. “I miss Gotham!”

“I’m gonna kill Bruce when we get home. British Baking show?”

“No, the only British person I can stand is Pennyworth. The rest are useless and creepy.”

“Fuck it, we’re watching How It’s Made and no one gets to be happy but it’s better than sleeping in this fucking mausoleum.” Jason snapped, pulling up the show and playing a random episode before laying back down as grumpily as a human can lie down.

Duke sighed but he couldn’t really complain. He really liked the show and honestly, he did wanna know how it was made. He snuggled back up, pulling his blanket back up to his chin, finally relaxing now that they had something to listen to. He listened to the narrator explain the process of making a carbon fiber bike, his eyelids growing heavy and his breathing evening out, the quiet narration combined with his siblings relaxing lulling him to sleep rapidly.

Chapter Text

He woke up to someone’s alarm going off, playing Dragula, and Damian sleeping with his head on his chest, breathing softly. He closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep but it was no use, awareness crashing into him with all the gracefulness of Aquaman out of the water, now wide awake and realizing just how uncomfortable he was. His arm was numb from being under Damian, he was sweaty, the sun was too bright and whoever’s alarm was going off wasn’t doing its job of waking said person up. But, he did have to admit it was a fun song to listen to, just not so early in the morning.

Damian huffed next to him, eyebrows furrowing as the kid slowly woke up due to the disturbance and sat up despite being mostly asleep, a weird habit he had. It was appropriately terrifying to witness in the middle of the night. He still hears Jon’s scream from randomly seeing Damian sitting up, half asleep and looking down at him. No one even blamed Jon for accidentally breaking two of Damian's ribs from punching him out of instinct.

He sighed and grabbed his phone, holding back a whine when he saw how early it was but the earlier they get this done, the earlier they leave and get back home. He repeated that mantra as he rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, squinting as he tried to find his way around everyone’s crap, almost tripping a few times.

“Turn it off!” He heard someone grumble, voice muffled but still loud enough to start waking everyone else up, the sound of various people groaning and smacking around their beds to find their phones making Duke hurry up and lock the bathroom door behind him to avoid getting elbowed out.

After he finished using the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face, the others were significantly more awake, Jason and Damian waiting outside the bathroom. Damian’s eyes were barely open, a scowl on his face, holding himself tightly as he shuffled past Duke and into the bathroom, Jason looking nearly identical. He moved past him, yawning as he went over to his suitcase and started pulling clothes out, knowing the others would wanna get out of there as soon as possible.

“They’ve got some, uhh…” Dick started but quickly trailed off, scrubbing his face, hair sticking out everywhere. “Food. Downstairs.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. “Cool. Know what they’ve got?” He asked, yawning, scrolling through his notifications and of-fucking-course the girls sent about a dozen texts in the middle of the night of the cool things they were doing. Cookies, manicures, face masks, beating the shit out of multiple robbers, watching horror movies, giving Bruce a ‘makeover’, god he was so jealous. He wanted cookies so badly.

“Fuuuuck…” Dick cursed, probably looking at the same text thread. “Jerks… I dunno, I think they might have cereal, maybe toast.”

He nodded, taking his shirt off and beginning to change. The awkwardness of having to change in front of others wore off rapidly when he realized none of them gave a shit and hated the experience as much as he did. Plus, when you’re a vigilante, you get over that pretty quick.

“Could get revenge by going to the zoo.” Damian spoke up as he exited the bathroom, looking far more awake, the texts pulled up on his phone. Their phones buzzed, making all of them look down to see the new message. It was just a string of middle fingers from Tim then a selfie with all of them in the background and it was honestly not any of their best pictures. It was taken when Duke had just woken up, bonnet half off and face dimly illuminated by the screen in front of him, a look of pure disgust gracing his greasy features. Damian was sitting up, looking like a zombie, mouth slightly open and eyes open just barely, mostly just showing the whites of his eyes. Dick’s arm and leg were hanging off the bed, the other half of his body completely on top of Jason, mouth hanging wide open, retainer on display and hair going everywhere. Jason was barely visible under Dick and unfortunately was actively drooling when the picture was taken, but that was about it but the person who was done the most dirty was Tim. Eyes barely open to see the bright screen that lit up his face a nasty, blue-ish pale color, the lower half of his face hidden by blankets, face inches away from the camera and dandruff clearly in view, eye boogers galore, looking half asleep and half furious.

“If you wanted me to kill myself, you could’ve just said so.” Duke muttered, shooting a glare over to Tim who just stuck an arm out of his cocoon, flipping him off.

“No suicide jokes.” A mumbled chorus reprimanded him, making him grumble out an apology.

“I vote we leave him here.” Damian raised his hand, glaring.

“I vote we do this.” Jason piped up, exiting the bathroom and dumping a cup of water on Tim who flailed, yelping before falling off the pullout.

“Fuck! What the hell?!” Tim snapped, kicking Jason in the crotch who squeaked and cupped himself before retaliating, laughing when Tim yelped again.

“Okay, okay, no more kicking! We’re all getting dressed and getting the fuck out of this hellhole!” Dick snapped, glaring at all of them. “Well? Get moving!” He ordered when they just stood there guiltily, all of them launching into action at the demand.

Duke pulled his pants on and started stuffing his things into his bag, trying to mentally prepare himself for the taxing journey ahead.

They all stumbled out of the elevator, each holding their suitcases and bags as they headed to the breakfast buffet, Duke carrying Bing Bong like a child again. Once again a single father, with no support. A single father who works two jobs.

Their phones were buzzing nearly nonstop from the girls making fun of them and he had just muted the chat the second Steph said she could drive a school bus through his nostrils with enough space for a Kia Soul on each side. Cass had responded with a bunch of emojis of a forest. He wasn’t going to recover.

Luckily, the smell of food did help, making his mouth salivate as he realized how hungry he was, catching a look at the buffet as Dick led them to a far corner facing all the entrances. Waffles, boxed cereal, yogurts, eggs, sausages, a classic American breakfast.

“.. Do we just wanna get something on the road?” Jason suggested, nose scrunched up at their food options which was honestly fair. The food didn’t look great, most of it seemingly containing some mystery liquid and odd coloration and very few vegetarian options for Damian. Plus, once you’ve had Alfred’s cooking, it’s hard to go back.

Dick sighed, plopping down in one of the sticky yet also overly sterilized chairs in the eating area, holding his arms up above his head to stretch. “Don’t care. You four decide what to do.” He yawned, clearly trying to get those last few minutes of mental rest before being forced back on the road.

“There’s an IHop nearby.” Jason suggested, sitting next to Dick, pulling out his phone. “Probably. I think I saw it on our way in here.”

“I do not like IHop. It’s loud and sticky.” Damian huffed, taking one of the nearby chairs and putting it at their table, sitting in it.

Duke sat next to Damian, holding Bing Bong carefully in his lap, bouncing a leg out of habit. “Maybe there’s a drive through type of place? Eat on the road?”

“There’s donuts, we can eat those on the road.” Jason suggested, regularly looking up from his phone to look at the people behind Duke and Damian, forever paranoid. 

“I want vegetables. Despite the rest of you, I would prefer not to develop scurvy.”

“Dude..”

“Thomas, you already know you are excluded from my judgments, as you have proven yourself many times over.”

“Thank you. Does McDonalds have something for all of us?”

“Uhh… Coffee, lots of sausage.. Oh, they have hash browns! That’s vegetarian!”

Damian shook his head, making a disgusted face. “Greasy.”

“Fair.” Jason shrugged, scrolling through their menu more.

Duke sighed and twisted in his chair, looking for Tim who he saw branch off earlier and- Yup, there he was, rawdogging waffles and filling up a mystery thermos with coffee. Yeah, he seemed happy, based on the fact he gave Duke a thumbs up when he saw him looking, which he returned.

“Okay, they’ve got a sausage burrito thing that I think has veggies in it-”

“Sausage makes me sick.”

“- but we can probably just ask them to put in potatoes instead of sausage- fuck never mind, you don’t like eggs. My bad.”

“Taco Bell?” Duke suggested, stomach grumbling.

“Taco Bell has a breakfast menu?”

“I don’t know, I’m hungry!” 

“Alright, Jesus! Hold on, let me just google breakfast places.”

Duke sighed again, rubbing his face. He was starting to get a bit cranky, hungry and tired and missing home despite being gone for less than twenty four hours. Obviously, he could handle worse conditions than this and has but there was a difference between being uncomfortable for necessity and being uncomfortable for no good reason. He knew that if someone handed him a plate full of mystery food and told him to eat or starve, he’d probably eat it but there wasn’t a need to right now. They weren’t being hunted or spied on or stuck in some weird prison and they definitely didn’t need to be any more careful than they usually were so there was simply no reason to force themselves into survival mode.

At least Tim seemed to be coping well but he was an outlier and shouldn’t be counted. Speaking of Tim, he was heading over, looking more bright eyed than the rest of them, holding a waffle in his bare hand and sipping on his thermos that he was absolutely sure was Bruce’s at some point.

“So, are you guys gonna go get food or..?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“No one likes you, Drake.”

“I wanna put you under a microscope but I don’t think I’d like what I’d find.” Duke admitted, cringing when he realized Tim most likely didn’t wash his hands before just grabbing food.

“I think that hurt more than whatever they said, Duke.” Tim sat next to him, looking at Dick who had been strangely silent. “Is he okay?”

“Genius Robin over here everybody..” Jason sneered quietly, rolling his eyes. “Dude’s just taking an eyes open nap, don’t mind him. Alright, we’ve got two options and they both aren’t the best.”

“If you make me eat those disgusting fast food powder eggs, I will projectile vomit into your receding hairline.”

“Dude, what is up your ass? Damn. No, we can go to Wendy's which doesn’t have any vegan options for breakfast… Or Chick-fil-A.”

“Vegetarianism or not being homophobic. A daily uphill battle.”

“Chick-fil-A, I am starving and about to start biting and hitting.” Damian decided, getting up and grabbing his things.

That was enough for Duke, making him gather up his things and gently shake Dick’s shoulder, waking him up from his ‘eyes open nap’. “Dick? We’re going to Chick-fil-A.”

Dick grunted and sat up, scrubbing his face. “They serve coffee?”

“Yeah.”

“Great, let’s go.”

The drive was shockingly quiet, Damian watching something on his IPad, Jason ‘reading’ AKA dozing while holding a book, Tim occasionally telling Dick to turn and he was 40% sure Dick wasn’t even fully awake but they managed to get to the fast food place in one piece so he’d count that as a win in his book.

Dick pulled into the drive through, slapped his face a few times… for some reason and finally spoke a full sentence. “Know what you want?”

Tim turned around, ready to memorize what they all wanted and relay it back to Dick so Duke took that as his hint to wake up Jason, dodging the large hand that went flying towards his face with ease. Jason was a slapper when he first woke up, everyone knew it.

“Wake up, food.”

Jason grunted and scrubbed his face with the hand he tried to hit Duke with before finding his phone and opening it. “Damian’s getting the hash browns, the yogurt parfait thing and the fruit cup, I’ll take, uhh.. Sausage, egg and cheese biscuits with an extra biscuit and iced coffee.”

“And apple juice.” Damian tacked on after nodding along with what Jason was saying. Usually, Damian would throw a fit if someone tried to order for him but Jason seemed to be the exception to that rule

Tim nodded along, looking towards Duke. “You?”

“Uhhh…” Jason showed him his phone, displaying the breakfast menu. “Thanks. Hash brown scramble burrito?”

“...” Tim raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“That’s it.”

“I will throw you in the trunk. Full breakfast, c’mon.” Jason threatened but it wasn’t that scary when he was still nodding off.

“Well, damn, okay. Umm.. Fruit cup, hash browns and… Half tea, half lemonade.”

“Oh, that sounds good.” Jason mumbled, nodding his approval.

“Rockin’.” Tim threw up a peace sign and took Jason’s phone from him, scrolling through the menu.

“Full breakfast.” Jason reminded, kicking the back of Dick’s seat for extra measure.

“Yes, if I am forced to swallow down this mulch then-” Damian was cut off by Duke and Jason lightly smacking him to notify him one of the workers was cheerily heading over to their car.

“Howdy, it’s a blessed day here at Chick-fil-A, how can I help you today?” The worker chirped once Dick rolled the window down, all of them (besides Damian and Jason) putting on their upstanding citizen smiles.

“Howdy! I’ll take an iced coffee in the largest cup you can give me, aaand… Egg white grill and spicy chicken biscuit and..” Dick leaned back, letting Tim lean over the center counsel to properly speak to the worker.

“Alright, this is a large order. We’re gonna need two more large iced coffees, one half iced tea and half lemonade medium, an apple juice-”

Duke tuned out the rest of it, leaning over so he could look at Damian's IPad, showing a little pizza making game. He’s been meaning to play it a few times but never really got around to it. What he really wanted to see was Damian discovering how many cat themed mobile games there were. It'd be the start of a horrible addiction to ‘pay to win’ games but damn would it be fun to watch.

He watched Damian play a few times, nearly cracking the device when he got an order wrong so he took that as a sign to stop watching, grabbing one of the baskets at his feet. Jason had brought it, calling it an emergency/hold over back and it was full of small throw up bags, some anti nausea pills and motion sickness pills, fidget toys galore, a few snacks, some water bottles, two pillows and one plush blanket. It really was a ‘hold over’ basket, just enough to hold them over until they got to a stopping point. Duke pulled out a bright yellow fidget slug that he was sure glowed in the dark, fiddling with it. The clicking noises and the smooth movements were soothing and helped him get through the boring conversation happening in front of him.

The clicking caught Damian's attention, making him turn off the IPad and putting it in the tiny basket connected to the center console, along with his Robin themed headphones, watching intently as Duke played with the toy.

“We’ve gotta tell B to get us a basket of these, right?”

“In each room, yes. I want mine to be green.”

“I’ll take yellow.”

“You both can take as many as you’d like, I don’t fuckin’ need em.” Jason grumbled, making Duke immediately hold the slug to his chest like a baby.

“I’m naming him Mustard.”

Damian nodded. “A fitting name. I want this one,” Damian grabbing a white and red fidget cube, clicking the buttons on it.

“Good choice, good choice.” Duke praised, finally tuning back into what was happening in front of him when they started inching forward. “How long have we been here?”

“Were you not list-? Oh, whatever. They recognized me, asked for a picture, took a second.” Dick explained, tapping the steering wheel.

“Have you tried getting a less recognizable face?” Duke suggested, grinning.

“I already suggested that.” Tim snickered.

“I’ve implored Richard to at least wear some sunglasses and a hat, like some stupid celebrity but he refuses to do so.”

“Could try dying and comin’ back to life. Helped me a lot.” Jason snickered before startling. “Oh, wait, hold on, did anyone see me?”

“Oh fuck.” Duke swore, grabbing one of the pillows at his feet and handing it over to Jason who covered the window with it quickly, leaning down in his seat.

“No, no, don’t worry, I kept their attention and they said they’d keep us being here hush hush for me so we should be good. Don’t forget the tint is Gotham dark so I doubt anyone saw you through the window or something.”

Tim nodded along. “I kept my arm blocking your face too, besides, you’re right behind Dick so I don’t think that’d get a look if they tried.”

“.. So they didn’t recognize me or Thomas or even Drake?”

Dick sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Well, Dami… Yeah, okay, I don’t have an explanation.”

“I do.” Tim spoke up, turning around with a smirk. “It’s because he’s nicer and prettier than you.”

Duke barely had a second to prepare before Damian was wiggling out of his seatbelt and attempting to strangle Tim, screeching in a language he didn’t understand but he was 50% sure it was curses. He held himself and tried to make himself as small as possible while Jason half heartedly tried to pull Damian back and Dick yelled, Tim screaming and hitting Damian to get him to let go of his neck.

It got worse from there. Damian accidentally kicked Jason in the face, causing the older man to start actively trying to pull him away from Tim to get his own revenge but that only caused Damian to start clawing and biting, making Tim retaliate by also biting. Then, it got even worse. He didn’t know how, unable to see much other than flailing arms and teeth and unable to do much other than desperately pull on the car lever, the child locks preventing him from escaping in the chaos and then there was a loud, smack , the sound of skin hitting skin and everyone went still.

Damian finally got back in his seat, revealing a rapidly reddening mark on Dick’s face, their eldest brother's eyes wide and twitching, hands gripping the wheel so tightly the leather squeaked and groaned. Duke froze up and tried to shrink in more on himself while Jason helped Damian get his seatbelt on, the air tense.

“Dick, I-I..” Tim started but cut himself off when Dick slowly shook his head, shrinking in on himself.

A small finger poked his side, nearly making him squeal in fear but instead he just whipped his head around to Damian who was looking at his nose for some reason and mouthing words.

You’re invisible .

He made an ‘oh’ motion, realized Damian couldn’t see it and tried to turn visible again, looking down at his hands. He concentrated, trying to focus on how light worked and reflected, visualizing how his body would look and.. Nothing.

“ Duke. ” Jason whispered, frowning. “Is he there?” The words were barely audible, meant for only the three of them to hear.

Damian answered the question by grabbing Duke’s arm. “He’s there. Thomas. ”

“I-I can’t- It’s not-” He stopped talking when Dick looked in the rear view mirror, pressing himself against the seat. Damian and Jason did similar things, looking guilty.

Dick sighed, the car inching forward in line and arriving by the window. It was silent as they got their food and pulled out of the drive through, heading back out onto the main road while Tim quietly distributed their food and drinks. Duke quietly sipped his sweet tea, knowing it looked stupid based on Jason desperately trying to conceal a smile, forcing Tim to cover his mouth to hide his own grin, which made Damian snort but the smiles disappeared when Dick looked in the rearview mirror again, clearly preparing to lecture them but stopped short when he saw Duke.. or lackthereof.

“I- Duke, you’re invisible, honey.”

“He’s stuck.” Damian helpfully provided.

“Stuck?”

Duke felt his face heat up. “I can’t help it sometimes..” He mumbled, opening up his fruit cup and eating a grape.

Dick snorted, the corner of his mouth twitching up. More silence followed but it was once again interrupted by Dick. “I’m sorry if I scared you guys.”

Jason leaned over the center console, blocking Duke’s view. “Seriously? You don’t fuckin’ scare me.”

“Jason-”

“As much as I hate to admit it, I must agree with Todd. Ahki, you were not scary, I believe we were all just afraid of being reprimanded. We would have the same reactions if we had been rough housing and accidentally hurt Alfred.”

“God forbid..” Jason muttered, even crossing himself. He did it wrong but it was the thought that counts.

“I was scared but that’s just because I saw you steal Jason’s taser.” Tim, ever the pot stirrer, hid a smirk.

“WHAT?! That’s one of my favorites!”

“And yet you let it be stolen! If it was really that important-”

“Do not give me that lecture right now!”

“ Anyway! .... Duke, did I scare you?”

“Huh? Oh, not really.”

“But you went invisible..?”

“Oh yeah, I sometimes do t-” He cut himself off. He could either reassure his eldest brother he hadn’t scared nor triggered him or he could keep his secret of how he almost never got into trouble like the rest of them. He sighed and decided the sacrifice was necessary. “I sometimes go invisible to avoid getting in trouble or getting tagged as an accomplice.”

“... Fuck, that’s smart.” Jason muttered.

“Wait- Is this why whenever the rest of us get in trouble, you always seem to disappear?!” Tim cried, looking betrayed.

“Yeah. I’ve done it so many times, it's just habit at this point.”

“Brutus!” Damian snapped before hitting his arm. “I don’t know what I just hit but I hope it hurt!”

“My bicep and yes, it did.” He got his retaliation by shoving Damian's head, snickering when he made a squeaky noise.

“So all those times the rest of us got yelled at, you were just standing and watching?!”

“Wh- No, I’m not an idiot! I would turn invisible and sneak away then come back during the aftermath. Listen, it’s survival of the fittest! It’s not my fault you guys aren’t willing to girlboss your way out of trouble!”

“I’m telling Bruce the second we get home.” 

“Timbit, why the fuck are you such a snitch? Here’s the thing; Duke didn’t do anything wrong. It’s like B always tells us, if you’re gonna commit a crime then don’t let him catch you!”

“Jaybird, he has never once said that-”

“Shut up, Dickie. My point is, Duke was just doing what he had to do to survive. It’s self preservation.”

“Thank you!”

“What isn’t self preservation is you being a fucking cop .”

“Christ Jason, are you still upset about me telling Bruce when you were sick?!”

“Yes! He stayed in my safe house for days, feeding me soup and you knew I was too weak to fight him off!”

Tim threw his hands up, eyes rolling. “Oh, forgive me for not wanting you to rot alone in your safe house and die!”

“You told Father I was bringing Terry to school that one time!”

“Because you shouldn’t bring a tarantula to school, Damian!”

“She wants to see the world, Drake, do not deprive her of that pleasure!”

“Wait, Tim was the one who snitched?! Dude..”

“Duke, do not give me those eyes.”

Duke slowly shook his head disapprovingly, frowning. “I don’t understand your beef with Terry.”

“I don’t have any beef with her! I just don’t think you should bring a tarantula to school! Dick, back me up here!”

Dick sucked on his teeth, face scrunching up. “Well…”

“Wha- Dick!”

Dick sighed, shrugging. “I’m sorry baby bird but that is pretty snitchy. I mean, I’ve met Terry and she’s a sweetheart. Besides, remember all those times you snitched on me to B?”

“You were trying to keep patrolling with a bullet an inch away from your spine.”

“Wow. Did you die?” Duke joked, grinning. It was a common joke to ask that whenever one of them recounted their life threatening injuries.

“Nah but it was close.”

“Because I told B!”

“I had a handle on the situation!”

“Oh yeah, tying some thugs t-shirt around your waist is definitely handling the situation.”

“See? I’m glad you agree babybird.”

“Dick, he’s gonna swerve us off the road.” Jason snickered, pointing at Tim’s pink face and furrowed eyebrows, the sight making the rest of them giggle.

“Dick, you called me Peter when I found you. Which was confusing until I found out Jason’s middle name but that barely cleared up anything because who the hell knows anyone elses middle name?!”

“Oh, wait, I did? I don’t remember that.”

“ Because you were delirious! ”

“It seems like you’re the delirious one right now, Drake.”

Tim went silent, making Jason’s muffled giggles audible which triggered Dick to start snickering until all of them were shamefully laughing, Duke at least having the shame to hide his now visible face in his hands, ears heating up. 

“What if I got to be happy? Just this once?” Tim muttered but he was also suppressing a smile.

Dick cooed in-between giggles, ruffling Tim’s hair. “Awhh, I’m sorry baby bird! The rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves, laughing at- snrk- such an innocent boy!”

That got Jason to start fully laughing, holding his stomach. “Oh my god! Oh my god, quit it!”

“I don’t think I appreciate how all of you started laughing when I finally gave in.”

“You were making a pretty funny face, to be fair.” Duke snickered, reaching into the bag he was handed and pulling out his hash brown burrito, unwrapping it finally which triggered the others to start finally unwrapping their own meals, the car filling with the scent of breakfast foods but mostly fried potatoes.

“Their iced coffee is surprisingly good.” Dick commented, changing the conversation topic. “I mean, it’s not great but it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“Can I have a sip?” Duke asked, leaning over a bit. 

“You can have a sip of mine.” Jason handed his drink over, having to delicately balance multiple things in his lap due to the lack of proper cup holders in the back.

He mumbled his thanks and took a sip, humming at the sweet, cold taste that mixed with the citrus and herb-y taste that was already in his mouth from his iced tea. The two didn’t really mix great but it wasn’t awful and he could still taste the coffee.

“Meh.” He shrugged, reaching over Damian to give it back to Jason.

“I would also like a sip.” Damian requested, intercepting Duke.

“Knock yourself out.” Jason shrugged, putting salsa on his burrito.

Damian took a sip, scowled and quickly handed it back.

“Not a fan?” Duke chuckled, watching Damian wash the taste down with his apple juice.

“Not exactly. Once you’ve tasted Father’s imported coffee, it’s hard to set a fair standard for others.” Damian shuddered, making a face for extra dramatics before popping an orange in his mouth, scowling again. “This breakfast is mediocre.”

“Yeah, the fruit isn’t exactly the freshest stuff.” Duke shrugged, taking a bite of his breakfast burrito. It was okay. Not the best thing he’s ever had and it made him miss the fresh tortilla’s at home but nothing he couldn’t rectify later.

Chapter Text

After they had all finished eating, the drive went pretty smoothly and was full of energy, blasting music and joking around with each other, trying to get the time to pass by faster. Duke’s favorite part was hearing his brothers all start singing along to Queen, Dick and Jason taking the time to show off their naturally good singing voices while Tim showed off how high he could pitch his voice and Damian showed off his breath control. Duke didn’t exactly have any musical talents yet but it was still fun to sing along and laugh when someone's voice cracked.

They reached the Hall of Justice in record time and all put on their ‘disguises’. Duke wore a cap with his symbol on it, along with sunglasses, a domino mask underneath the sunglasses and a regular yellow face mask. The others wore similar looks, each having their own symbols somewhere on their bodies to show who they were but Jason took it a step further and wore a rebreather and a hood instead of a hat, presumably to look more intimidating and, well, like the Red Hood.

Once they were all covered up, they got out and snuck into one of the side entrances, avoiding tourists with ease and getting inside without complication. Luckily, the public access part of the museum was closed for the day for various reasons, so they didn’t have to worry about being spotted once they got inside.

Duke followed the others closely, trying not to look star-struck as this was his first time inside the hall. Large, intimidating pillars, smooth marble floors, beautiful artwork depicting various battles or superheroes backstories. Wonder Woman leading an army to victory, Superman lifting a building off a mother and her baby, Batman standing around in the shadows while criminals cowered in fear and some walls showed photographs of the Justice League, some showed thank you letters from people they had saved, including cute drawings made by kids. It was honestly hard not to get caught up in the wonder of it all, hard not to picture himself somewhere in there. 

“Signal.” Jason called for him quietly, his mechanized voice echoing softly off all the stone around them.

“Right, sorry!”

“Don’t be, it’s easy to get caught up in all this.” Dick shrugged, slowing down so Duke could keep looking around. “I spent hours here just looking around when it was first built. I was a little bitter that there wasn’t a Robin section but hey, what can you do?”

“Nightwing, one of the first things you told me when I came back was the fact there still wasn’t a Robin section. I think you’re more than a little bitter.” Jason teased, snickering.

“I’ve been sitting on this for years now,” Tim started, looking bored, “But both of you twitch your eyes when someone brings up the Hall of Justice. Every time, without fail. Both of you are equally bitter.”

“... Red, we need to talk about this constant need to start drama.” Dick sighed while Jason huffed, muttering something about not being bitter.

“I stashed some spray paint in the trunk before we left, I could make us a Robin display in about ten minutes flat if you all kept watch.” Damian suggested, looking equally peeved there wasn’t a Robin display.

“Why did you bring spray pa- Never mind, I don’t need to know.”

“Damian, did you steal my spray paint?” Duke questioned, raising an eyebrow when Damian avoided eye contact. “Dude. I can buy you your own.”

“Guys, hush.” Dick cut their conversation off, doing a vague wave behind his back to get them to quit talking and appear like proper bats. They spread out a bit more and copied Dick’s footsteps exactly, moving in ominous sync. It was an intimidation tactic they almost always used when they were meeting up with other heroes, something to seem cooler or whatever. Eldest take up the front, leading them while the youngers hang back a little bit, spread out and sticking to the shadows so they could all easily surround someone in seconds flat but their cool formation was ruined in seconds, their cool kid facades broken when a blur of blue weaved between them to tackle Damian before anyone could blink.

“Dami, it was awful!” The kid, Superboy now that he could see him, cried, clinging to Damian who looked appropriately startled.

“Tch, pull yourself together! Also, names !”

“He made us drive here!”

“Who did?”

“Superman.” An older voice responded, heading up to Tim and wrapping him in a hug, holding a briefcase. “We weren’t allowed to use our powers at all!” He cried, sounding petulant. B had already told him their secret identities, Conner Kent and Jon Kent but it felt so awkward and weirdly invasive to even think about their ‘real’ names around them but also it was kinda weird thinking of both of them as Superboy. No one ever talks about this conundrum in the superheroing community. If someone had told him about this, maybe he wouldn’t have joined.

“Wait, seriously? Hold on-” Dick held his hands up, silencing the various whining and threats of bodily harm if the supers didn’t stop clinging to them ‘ right this second-’ . “Did Superman make you do all of this under the guise of ‘brotherly bonding’?”

“Yeah..?” Both Superboys responded, finally letting go of the two Robins.

“He said it was gonna give us ‘character’.” The younger Superboy huffed, pouting.

“Something’s going on here.” Dick mused, looking around for cameras or their fathers.

“Ten bucks on possession.” Jason called, following Dick’s lead and looking around, scouting the area in case this was a prank or something.

“What’s with the briefcase?” Tim questioned, taking said briefcase from Kon.

“I dunno, dad said not to open it no matter what. Said it was important.”

“And you listened to him?” Jason questioned, peeking out from behind a pillar, making both Superboys flinch.

“Yeah..?”

“Hmm..” Tim got on the ground, crossing his legs, holding the case in his lap. He pulled his lockpicking kit out, something they all carried with them, and got to work.

“You’re just gonna open it like that? What if there's important stuff in there?” Jon fretted, hovering (literally) around Tim.

“If it was so important, Superman would’ve delivered it himself.”

“Well, we all know it can’t be a bomb.” Duke added, watching Tim jiggle the lock. If it was taking this long then this definitely wasn’t an ordinary briefcase, probably a batcase.

“Sorry, what ?” Kon questioned, looking horrified. “Also, who are you?”

“Oh, Signal, nice to meet you.” He introduced himself, holding a hand out. “I mean, it can’t be a bomb. No ticking, no reaction towards a bunch of movement and it’s not going off now, so…”

“That doesn’t cross fear gas off the list.” Jason interrupted, walking over, interrupting Duke’s handshake. “No cameras, no bugs. Well, out of the ordinary.”

Dick sighed. “Same here.”

“Got it!” The briefcase clicked open and Tim carefully opened it but the carefulness turned into carelessness when nothing happened. The only thing inside was a bunch of pieces of paper which Tim picked up and began reading.. Which soon turned into him picking up the briefcase and throwing it, crumbling up the paper in his hands and throwing that as well before storming off, kicking a marble pillar while shouting while the others watched in fear and curiosity.

“Jesus, what?” Dick flinched, fetching the paper Tim crumbled and unravelling it, face falling once he started reading it. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Guys, the suspense is starting to kill me.” He complained, now starting to get seriously worried.

Jason huffed and took the paper from Dick, reading it out loud. “‘Boys, I know this is going to anger you but you have to understand the lesson in all of this. Superman and I thought you could all benefit from figuring out how to work together and arranged this quote, unquote mission, for you all. Comradery and teamwork is importan-’ Yeah, fuck this, we’re killing them, right?”

“We did all of that for nothing?!” Kon shouted, fists clenched by his sides and Duke would bet all his money that if he tried hitting a pillar like Tim was doing, he’d surely bring the whole building down.

“I had to sleep in a motel ! And share a bed with that !” Jon cried, pointing towards his older brother.

Duke wasn’t going to lie, he was just as pissed as the rest of them and was trying hard to conceal his rage but it was going well. He was going to destroy Bruce. They drove for hours, woke up at the ass crack of dawn, got stuffed like sardines into a tiny car with shit air conditioning, forced to share beds, all of that and for what? A so-called bonding exercise? Something they didn’t even need, by the way! Sure, maybe the others needed it, given the conversation he overheard of Dick accidentally nailing Tim in the face after a small missed que but him? He rarely had to work with them! There was no use for this torture! Sure, maybe when he was sparring with Dick or Tim he’d kinda fall behind and get his ass beat by accident and yeah, he’s almost been stabbed by Damian once or twice on the mats but he worked just fine with Jason! Sometimes! Sure, there was the time Jason punched left when he should’ve punched right and ended up getting slammed to the floor when they were supposed to be working together but that was once ! And it wasn’t even his fault!

“Hush!” Dick’s harsh voice broke through all their whining and complaining and raging, his expression absolutely stormy, even behind the masks. “Car. Now.” He snapped before storming out of the great hall, fists at his sides.

Duke didn’t question it and swiftly followed, not even glancing at the decor surrounding them. The others followed without comments, the anger and frustration so strong you could smell it, all of them desperate for revenge. For justice.

They got in the car, Duke taking the middle because the younger Superboy looked like he’d rather sit in the trunk than next to Jason and he didn’t want to risk speaking and making Dick mad. Both Superboys climbed in with their respective Robins, acting as chairs since no one wanted a Kryptonian in their lap. Dick opened up the glove compartment and pulled out a small bag, something that looked like it used to be used for holding menstrual products and opened it up, showing them the tinfoil layered inside. He lightly shook the bag in a ‘hand it over’ gesture and Duke sighed internally. This family was so weird.

He reached under his seat and grabbed the bug he noticed the second they got in the car what feels like weeks ago, detaching it carefully and putting it in the baggie, his other siblings following, detaching and gathering the bugs they had also noticed. It was.. Oddly comforting, knowing Bruce was watching and listening but right now, it only made him more pissed. He silently borrowed Jason’s pocket knife after he was done using it to cut open the driver's seat and take out a bug stuffed inside of there and cut open the thin fabric on the roof, revealing three bugs clustered together. He carefully removed them and tossed them into the baggie which was starting to fill up. He looked around, trying to spot any more bugs, noting how destroyed the car was now but found nothing.

The older SuperBoy lightly waved his hand, getting their attention and pointing to the middle seat, around Duke’s lower back. Damian let out a near silent annoyed huff and took the pocket knife from him, cutting into the seat and digging out the bug like it was personally insulting him… Which it probably did, given the fact Damian had complained about something digging into his back for the first two hours of their journey and they had all brushed him off, saying they couldn’t see anything so it must’ve been nothing.

Damian practically threw the last bug in the baggie and Dick sealed it up tightly, putting it back in the glove compartment. He held a finger to his lips before anyone could speak and nodded towards Jason who sighed and took off his rebreather, glaring, clearing his throat before taking a deep breath.

“I sure hope my dear, sweet Uncle Clark isn’t listening to or about to listen to this private conversation I’m about to have with my trusted confidants, as that would be a major violation of my trust and privacy and would give me even more reason to dislike him, since he owes me after letting me die in Ethiopia…”

Duke internally flinched, knowing Superman must be haunted by that but all's fair in love and war. Don’t hate the players, hate the game.

After a long moment of silence, Jason nodded and Dick took his mask off, sighing.

“Alright, revenge ideas?”

“Burn the manor to the ground.” Damian growled, crossing his arms.

“No. Tim?”

“I say we call Ra’s and let him run loose around Gotham for a while, maybe call Talia and see what trouble she can cause him.”

“Too tame, you’re supposed to be the evil mastermind here. Jay- No, never mind.”

“Hey!” 

“Superboys?”

“Never ever ever ever trust anyone ever again.” The younger said, glaring.

“Move in with Lex and become evil.” The older suggested, shrugging. “Destiny.”

“No. Duke? Any ideas?”

Duke sighed, thinking it over. He did have an idea but it would also mean exposing himself. However, the price seemed worth it. “Well… You know how when I first started in Gotham Academy and the teachers kept saying I was starting trouble even though I very obviously wasn’t?”

Dick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yeah?”

“Well, that’s still true but I went around purposely acting suspicious so I could drive them crazy. I even got a pen that looked almost exactly like a vape so I could see their crestfallen faces when I wrote with it. It drove them insane. It was pure gaslighting, I’m surprised none of you saw through it.”

“So, we should gaslight Bruce and Clark? No offense but Bruce specifically trains against that kinda thing.” Jason interjected, frowning.

“Yeah and I don’t feel comfortable gaslighting my dad?”

“Man up, Kent.”

“Oh, right, I’m Jon Kent, by the way.” The youngest SuperBoy told him, holding out his hand for a handshake. “Nice to meet you.”

Duke nodded and shook his hand, glancing at Dick and waited until he got the nod of approval before giving out his real name. “Duke Thomas, nice meeting you.” He decided against telling him he already knew who he was.

“Konner Kent but everyone calls me Kon.” Kon, the older SuperBoy, tried to shake his hand too but it was pretty hard when they were all crammed together so he settled on a two finger salute, which Duke copied.

“Nice. But what I meant was we all act like we have a plan, like we’re getting our revenge, ya know? Pulling each other aside to have whisper conversations, secret meetings, hanging out with each other a lot more, basically acting like we’re up to something. We can even pretend to speak in code, which would drive B extra crazy. That can also earn us extra time to make up a better plan and get real revenge.”

“How can we be sure they don’t just interpret us getting along as their plan working?” Tim asked, frowning.

“It’s B, Tim. He’s going to be suspicious no matter what.”

“And if B is suspicious and paranoid, Clark is gonna be suspicious and paranoid.. Duke, you’re a fucking genius, remind me to never cross you.” Dick praised, dapping him up.

“Thank you! For our second revenge after driving them crazy, I vote we all fake our deaths.”

“That’s what I like to hear! I want everyone to be thinking of second revenge plots just as crazy or even more crazy as that, got it? Now, let's go to the zoo!” Dick cheered, causing both Jon and Damian to cheer and start chanting ‘Zoo! Zoo! Zoo!’ 

“Uh, wait, this isn’t exactly safe.” Jason pointed out, gesturing towards the fact Damian and Tim were in the Superboys laps and also unbuckled.

“.. I’ll just drive real slowly, it’ll be fine.” Dick waved him off, buckling up. “Jon, Kon, I’m trusting both of you to act as living seatbelts.”

Jon snickered and wrapped his arms securely around Damian, making a quiet ‘click’ noise once he was secure. Honestly, it was fucking adorable and what was extra adorable was seeing Damian rapidly pull up the zoo’s website on his IPad after getting buckled in with the actual seatbelt, clearly eager to show his friend what kinda animals they were gonna have there. Once Jason gave Dick the nod of approval, they were off.

After a very sad and ego crushing video call with Barbra where the adults(ish) were forced to plead and beg and grovel while Jon and Damian were forced to cry, all for her amusement, their bank accounts were unfrozen and a couple hundred dollars from Bruce’s personal fund were transferred to them so Dippin Dots on Bruce!

They went in, Damian immediately dragging Jon over to get a map while Dick chased after a guy selling popcorn, leaving Jason, Duke, Tim and Kon to stick together.

“Wow, this place is so nice..” Duke awed, looking around. It didn’t reek of fear gas or the Joker or nothing! And all the animals were making normal animal noises!

Jason grabbed one of the maps Damian was handing out and looked it over. “Just because it’s nicer than a Gotham zoo doesn’t mean we don’t take the same precautions.” He warned. “Holy shit, they’ve got an Amazon exhibit!”

“The company or the place?” Tim questioned, looking over Jason’s shoulder despite Konner very clearly not wanting him to.

“The place. Wait, they only have one first aid center? Seriously?” Jason huffed. “And look! It’s not even in the middle!”

“Rookies.” Duke sighed, moving to look over Jason’s shoulder as well, right as Dick came back with a bag of popcorn.

“Okay! What’s the game plan?”

“Rendezvous point is at the first aid tent, naturally. The second rendezvous point is the car. Jon and I would like to go there,” Damian pointed to the trail near their right, “down the Asia Trail, see the giant pandas, bird house, etcetera then head down the main trail, Olmsted Walk, and follow that all the way down to the Kid’s Farm, circling around onto the American Trail and finally heading out. Since I imagine we’ll all get hungry at some point, I snuck our leftover snacks in but I wouldn’t mind stopping for a more filling meal at Lion-Tiger Hill, as they have vegetarian options.” 

Duke followed Damian's proposed path on the map and while his feet ached at the idea of walking that far, it seemed to be worth it. “I like that plan.”

“Ditto.” Tim nodded in agreement, handing one of the various maps Damian nabbed over to Dick.

“Wait, they only have one first aid tent?” Dick frowned, scanning the map.

“That’s what I said! I also agree with the brats' plans so if you wanna go running off somewhere, I can play chaperone.” Jason grumbled but Duke knew he didn’t mind watching over them. Plus, it was easy to spot Jason’s mouth upturning a little bit every time one of the SuperBoys expressed fear towards him.

“Hmm… I like this plan! So, we’ll all stick together for now but everyone make sure your phones are on and to tell either me or Jason before going off on your own, alright? Duke, Tim, Kon, I’m trusting you three to tell one of us if you see Damian or Jon take off or to just follow them around.”

“This is a lot of preparation for a zoo trip..” Jon mumbled, getting an eye roll from Damian.

“Well, some of us are the sons of famous billionaires so it’s important to avoid getting kidnapped.” Damian pointed out haughtily. “Also, Gotham’s zoos are much more treacherous than this, putting extra emphasis on staying together and having emergency plans.”

“Right! Now, what do we do if we meet a creepy stranger?” Dick questioned, clasping his hands together.

Duke, Tim and Damian all raised their hands up high, wanting to be called on.

“Tim!”

“Cry and scream for Jason!”

“Yes! Popcorn for you!” Dick tossed a piece of popcorn in Tim’s mouth, grinning. “Alright, what do we do if we get separated and can’t find each other?”

Duke waved his hand up high, pushing Damian’s head away so he’d get called on. Now that he knew popcorn was involved, he was a lot more determined.

“Hmm.. Damian!”

“Ha! Take that, Thomas! Should we get separated, we shall head to the first aid tent and wait there while calling you or Todd repeatedly. Should the zoo come under attack during this time, the best course of action is to run and find the car.”

“Bingo! Here you go,” Dick gave Damian a handful of popcorn who happily split it with Jon. “Alright, Duke, you ready?”

“Yes!”

“Someone grabs you and tries to kidnap you, what do you do?”

“Scream for Jason and if they succeed, hand over B’s phone number without any resistance!”

“Good!” Dick praised, tossing a piece of popcorn into Duke’s mouth who caught it with skill. “Well, I think we’re ready!”

“I didn’t get any popcorn..” Jason mumbled, pouting. 

“Yeah, Kon didn’t either.” Tim pointed out despite Kon shaking his head.

“Oh, okay! Jason, what do you do when you see one of your brothers sneaking into an exhibit full of dangerous animals?”

“Grab them if I can and if I can’t, get the smart ones and get out of there. Survival of the fittest.”

“Correct!” Dick gave Jason a handful of popcorn, turning towards Konner. “Kon, what do you do when your buddys are getting frustrated and tired?”

“Uhhh… Find a quiet place to sit and discuss plans from there?”

“Yup!” Dick handed some more popcorn over, grinning. “Okay, now we’re ready. Everyone have your buddies?”

Damian put his hand on Jon’s shoulder, nodding, while Tim linked his arms through Duke’s and Kon’s, giving a thumbsup. Dick still waited, giving Jason an expectant look.

“... I’m not calling you my buddy.”

“Jay, c’mon.”

“No.”

“Jaaayy, we can’t go anywhere if you don’t have a buddy! You know this!”

“Fine, Duke’s my buddy.”

Duke shook his head, lifting up his linked arm. “Sorry, I can only keep track of two people at once.”

“I’m a grown adult man, I don’t need a buddy.”

“But what if I get lost?!”

“Tough shit.”

“Richard, we have rope in the car..”

“No-”

“You know I will put you in one of those weird kid leashes, Jay- Why do we have rope in the car?”

Duke shrugged. “Rope purposes. Don’t question it.” He decided not to mention their plans to tie Jason and Dick up and leave them on the side of the road if they got too annoying.

“‘Kay… Think of it this way, Jay, if we don’t buddy up then the kids will sense our weaknesses like sharks with blood in the water and they’ll start a revolt! You don’t wanna be on the wrong side of a revolt, do you?” Dick gave him the puppy dog eyes, even pouting.

“It’s true, I’m already growing impatient and feeling the urge to riot.” Damian shrugged, completely deadpan.

“Don’t forget the spray paint in the car.” Tim recalled, smirking.

“I’m betting a good solid hour before we end up running this place and bringing home an animal or two. Does Kent Farm have space for an elephant?” Duke goaded, snickering. 

“I imagine Father and Pennyworth would be livid if we brought home a tiger simply because you did not wish to buddy up with Richard.” 

Jason groaned, rolling his eyes. “Fucking fine! God, every single one of you is insufferable!” He snapped, moving over to Dick and grabbing his sleeve. “I have my buddy, let's go .”

“Woo! Awh, my sweet li-”

“I have ten different weapons on my person right now.”

“... Well. Let’s get going.”