Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He couldn’t help holding himself back from laughing. He probably looked fucking crazy. Well not probably, he knew he did.

Here he sits in an interrogation room waiting for Athena to come in and question just what the hell happened today. Well, that was a loaded question with a complicated answer. Though he doubted it would be just her, or if she would even come into the room at all. She had a conflict of interest in this situation.

Four men whom Buck helped put away after tearing the operation apart from the inside with Hondo’s help were out. How the hell they got out of prison, he didn’t know. All he knows is they were out and attacked him on the job.

Buck had to show a side of himself to his team he hoped they would never have to see. He thought doing undercover work with Hondo would only help him. He always had this itch under his skin, no matter how much he scratched it, it was always there once he left the Seals. When he did undercover work with Hondo, it helped relieve the itch. Though never permanently or completely. God but he felt much better when the time came. He waited with baited breaths when his phone rang, praying it was Hondo or someone from the 20 squad. But it rarely ever was.

Buck didn’t think his working with Hondo would put his team in danger because all of the criminals they encountered either died or were put behind bars, and they stayed there. If he knew his trying to relieve this permanent itch would have put his team’s lives on the line, he would never have done it.

No way could the men have been anticipating Buck to be answering the call. They probably didn’t even know he was a firefighter. The last time he saw them, they were on a cruise ship.

Before Buck can really begin to ponder on what the fuck just happened; a detective comes in who flings open the door. The door hits the wall behind it, slamming against it and making a loud noise. Athena walks in behind the officer and lets out a huff. She then stands behind the detective with her arms crossed. She has a look on her face screaming she is pissed and waiting for the shitty excuse Buck has to explain his actions.

The detective slammed his hands down on the metal table in front of Buck where his hands are cuffed. The detective looks just as pissed as Athena.

“First things first, do you mind explaining to me firefighter Buckley why you had a gun on the job today? Or why did these citizens feel the need to attack you?” The old burly man huffed out. The shirt he was wearing barely even fit him. The buttons holding his shirt together were screaming as they barely held on trying to burst at the seams. The man also had greying hair which was combed over. It is obvious the man would look better bald, but Buck guessed the man was trying to make it last given the fact his hair actually had product in it. Not that it was doing much.

Buck huffed and went to talk and before the first word was out of his mouth the detective slammed his fist on the table.

“Or why did you fire a gun at four citizens?” The detective practically spat in his face as he yelled. The old man was throwing himself around so much, that Buck was surprised the top button on his shirt didn’t fly off and hit him in the face. If Buck was going to be blind because of this damn button, then he was going to be pissed.

Buck could tell from this man’s tone and blatant disrespect; that he wouldn’t be able to get the reason behind his stunt through this man’s thick skull. But he knew who else could.

“I’d like you to make a call for me–”

Before Buck could even get the name out of the man he wished to have called, the detective went back to spit in his face. Buck had to resist rolling his eyes. This man obviously had no idea of Buck’s history in the Seals. Did he really think yelling in his face would intimidate him? He obviously has never gone through basic training with the drill sergeants yelling in your face. But if the earlier incident didn’t already trigger Buck’s military facade, then this definitely did.

He could feel the switch flipping again. He was becoming who he didn’t want his team to see. Who the team didn’t know about, well except for Bobby. He knew they would be afraid of him judging by the fearful looks on their faces when Buck took action earlier.

But he can’t help it. He could feel his emotions leaving him and his face falling into a blank stare. His voice held no emotion. Buck didn’t even bother listening to the useless information this man was yelling in his face.

“Sir, call Commander Robert Hicks.” Buck then slowly shifted his gaze up to blankly make eye contact with the man. The older man who was beaten read with rage that his tactics were not affecting Buck.

“Now why would I listen to you? Why would I do what you ask? Just answer the damn question!”

Buck said nothing as he blankly stared ahead, seemingly staring at nothing. Before he once again stated in an emotionless voice, “Sir, call Commander Robert Hicks.”

“Do you think I’m stupid! How the hell would you know him? Leave Commander Hicks out of this because you would be wasting his valuable time. He actually protects the city and protects citizens. Unlike you,” he felt a glob of spit land on his cheek.

Buck huffed at the fact he couldn’t wipe it off his face because his damn hands were cuffed to the table. Sure, he knew how to take the cuffs off, but he was 100% sure that would make this situation worse. The man also probably wouldn’t call the Commander if he did that.

Buck could tell that his defiance to answer whatever question this man had asked him was pissing him off. The old man was sweating and having to take deep gasps between his words as he was shouting. How this man was still fit to be in the field, Buck didn’t know.

Buck made his deep blue eyes which were usually foaming with emotion, into a deep blue as cold as stone. He didn’t blink as he made direct eye contact with the older man. He let it show on his face, that this man’s tactics were still not affecting him.

Buck continued to stare at the man as seconds on the clock ticked by, not blinking. He was surprised this man hadn’t started yelling in his face again honestly.

Even though no words were spoken Athena nodded and then tapped the detective on the shoulder. “Detective Wilhem, Commander Hicks has requested to speak with you.” Athena presumably had a wire attached to her ear.

Buck couldn’t help but hold back the laughter as he saw the detective’s face pale. Serves him fucking right.

As Detective Wilhem left the room slowly, Buck could tell he was trying to prolong his doom for as long as possible.

Once the man left Athena hesitated. Her gaze lingered on Buck before she sucked in a big breath of air. “I hope you know what you’re doing boy,” before she turned around to follow Wilhem, presumably to listen to the conversation as well.

Buck was kind of bummed he wouldn’t get to see the look on the guy’s face as he realized how far he dug his grave.

Buck was kind of tempted to break out of the handcuffs himself to spite the old man. He would sit here with a sneaky grin on his face as his feet rested on top of the table. The man taunted Buck because he had a superiority complex and was choosing to flaunt it. Buck had a feeling if he wasn’t cuffed to the table, the man would have treated him differently.

He also kind of wanted to get the spit off his face.

Chapter Text

After around fifteen minutes another officer came scrambling into the room. One Buck did not know but he looked like a new recruit fresh out of the academy from the way he was a bit stiff around Buck. But then again, he was sure the detective felt just as jittery and nervous as this kid does right now too.

The kid went to unlock the cuffs around Buck’s wrists when Athena came storming into the room.

Buck didn’t know if he imagined it or not but the kid jumped a bit as the door slammed into the wall once again. Then the kid tensed up and fled the room as fast as his legs would take him.

He couldn’t really blame the kid though. When Athena was mad, she was scary.

His mind was still a bit fuzzy around the edges from the switch being flipped earlier. Though more accurately it wasn’t a switch, more of a dial. He was slowly coming down from it, but he knew the slightest reminder of his deployments or anything to do with the Seals would trigger him again.

With keeping this in mind, Buck was tense, something he would not have been if he was in his previous mindset. He had a feeling this conversation was not going to go well.

A soft click of a door caused Buck’s attention to flicker to the woman in front of him.

Athena walked over to him and took off his handcuffs. She then put them on the table between them before she pulled a chair from the side of the room and put it in front of the table. She didn’t say a word. She just sat there. Staring at him. Waiting.

Buck was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable in his seat before she began with, “Commander Hicks says he sent for Hondo. He should be here soon.” She then paused to make direct eye contact with Buck, making sure he could feel her hardened gaze. “Now,” she then shifted forward in her seat to get closer to Buck, “Where do you want to start? Because trust me, kid, I have questions,” she huffed and rolled her eyes in disbelief, “And a lot of them. Maybe you could start by answering the questions the detective asked you earlier. Or you could maybe tell me how you know Commander Hicks over at SWAT.”

Buck knew that tone of voice she was using, she was pissed. Now, Buck didn’t know where to start because it was a long fucking story he knew he didn’t have time for. He was just praying Hondo would be here soon to save him from her wrath.

“Or maybe you could start with the fact you just flipped a switch earlier. You are never like that.” She then looked at Buck with concerned eyes which also held a firm anger she refused to let go, “You were emotionless. You were cold to the detective. Quite frankly, I can’t blame you. But Buck, that isn’t like you,” she paused, “Or at least the part of you I know. Till Hicks let the fact slip you were in the Navy Seals, and you were in a squad with Hondo.” That hit Buck hard because he was the same person on the team he was all along. This, this is the reaction he was fearing. Doubt, anger, and fear. They now doubted him, whether out of anger or fear.

She then leaned back in her chair and moved her leg, so it lay atop the other. Her hands were placed together on her knee, “or you can maybe start with the fact you never told me you were in the Seals. I presume the others don’t know either because Chim can’t keep a secret to save his life. As much as I don’t want to say it, the team is a bit like dominos. You tell one secret, next thing you know all of them know.”

He felt a little angry. It wasn’t a justified feeling because Hicks didn’t know he hadn’t told his team. Buck has talked about the fact he told Bobby but hasn’t mentioned anyone else, not even his sister. He just couldn’t help but be angry because he didn’t have control of who knew because now Athena knew. Granted Buck was a little surprised she didn’t know because Bobby knew. But given Athena's comment earlier to the news, he didn't know if she would keep his secret. She probably thought she was protecting the team by telling them. She probably thought he was a monster anyway. A killing machine she should be afraid of. Not human. He wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't let into her home again. Let alone if he could see May and Henry.

She must have noticed Buck’s hesitation at first, “I won’t tell anyone on the team, but they are bound to find out eventually.” She then tilted her head slightly motioning to Buck, “Now would be a good time to start explaining.”

Buck sat there and paused for a second, trying to keep his composure. Just telling himself to breathe and calm down. He also had a slight feeling the police department had no idea who those men really were on the call today. Otherwise, Athena wouldn’t be sitting here questioning him with a fire under his ass. She would be out catching those basterds and putting them in custody.

He took a deep breath through his nose and let it out before he started, “Do you know who those men really were today? Because they sure as hell weren’t the neighborhood watch program. Do you have them in custody?”

Athena kept her composure and didn’t let a look of surprise pass over her face. But with his training, he could tell she was surprised by the slight way she clenched her hands together. She was probably surprised by this comment, he winced a bit at letting an old harsher part of himself show.

“You obviously have some type of history, otherwise they would not have felt the need to attack you earlier. I’m assuming it’s from the Seals?” She then took a deep breath before she shook her head. “We don’t have them in custody. When you shot at their car earlier they got in a car and drove off. They got away. The main focus was on you, a first responder waving a gun around. Who was also shooting at people we presumed to be normal citizens.”

Buck shook his head, “Not from the Seals. More of an association of my time with the Seals,” Buck didn’t bother explaining more in-depth. He knew this was going to be another case for SWAT to handle, which he more than likely was also going to be involved in. But he decided to let a piece slip to help get Athena to know he wasn’t the monster she was thinking he was. Which may end up causing more trouble than it is worth in the end.

“Those men Athena,” Buck made sure to look Athena in the eyes, so she knew he was telling the truth. Though the look he was showing her may not have any effect on her with the new information she knew about him. “Athena, those men are supposed to be in prison for life,” he heard a sharp breath from her, “lord only knows how they got out.” Athena’s face paled a bit and she tried to hide the shock on her face.

When Buck finished dropping that bomb the door once again slammed open. “Doesn’t anyone know how to open a door without slamming it,” he said out loud when he chuckled.

The man at the door huffed, “Nice seeing you too Pit.” Hondo walked over to Buck, completely disregarding Athena, and set his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Just the danger magnet I wanted to see,” Hondo chuckled as he patted Buck’s shoulder.

“Hey, I’m not as bad as Street.”

“That’s debatable.”

Chapter Text

“It’s nice to see you, man. How was your trip to Australia with Darryl?”

Before Hondo could respond to Buck’s question another voice spoke, “Sergeant.” Athena was no longer sitting in her chair but standing next to Hondo. She had her hand held out waiting for Hondo to shake it. Her eyebrow was raised, and she had a firm look on her face.

Hondo replied in a bit of a cold voice as he shook her hand, “Hello, Sergeant. Sorry for not introducing myself earlier, Daniel Harrelson but you can just call me Sergeant.” Buck assumed with the older man’s aloof manner he was feeling the need to protect Buck, whom the man kind of always saw as a little brother. Even though Buck was perfectly capable of handling himself. With the icy looks both were sending each other, he was surprised there wasn’t a blizzard happening.

“Athena Grant,” is all Athena responded. Buck wasn’t sure what emotion was lying behind her words. Usually, he was pretty accurate with reading people, a skill he had honed and perfected. For once, he couldn’t get a clear read. But Buck’s stature in her book is probably at rock bottom. He isn’t sure if her harsh two-word response was out of loathing for the new man in front of her or from the anger that Buck refused to elaborate on the information he told her earlier. It was better to act that way though, like he never told her. He had let the information slip out of a moment of vulnerability, with the look on her face at the time he felt guilt. He could not leave this place with the knowledge she thought he did all of this out of pure want. They hadn’t interviewed anyone on the team yet obviously otherwise Athena would have known something was wrong with the oh-so-perfect citizens. The police officers probably didn’t listen to the team on the scene either. He couldn’t blame the officers because he did look highly guilty at the time, but who knows what that mistake could have cost them.

As much as Athena probably didn’t want to accept it, it was better if she stayed out of this. It would be safer for her and her family. She would be in over her head. She was not aware of what these people had done. What they were capable of doing when they wanted to. She wasn’t aware of how many people were held hostage or who they killed, or he had to kill in the process to protect Hondo. He didn’t want her to know either. Sure, four of the people after Buck weren’t the smartest but one of them was. With the one smart escape artist leading them he knew he should consider all of them a threat. At the time of the mission, they never found out his name, Buck still wasn’t aware of it. He was sure it was in the database at headquarters. But he led the mission, he had contacts globally and a reputation. More than likely the reputation he had sunk because he got locked up, but Buck had no idea how long these people were out of prison. For all Buck knew he had already reestablished his reputation and was back in touch with the contacts he had in other countries. They may no longer be on American soil at the moment. It didn’t take long to get to the ocean from LA. They had showcased they could illegally pass country borders before, what's stopping the same from happening now?

He was unsure of why SWAT wasn’t notified these people had escaped in the first place. Given the fact they were the ones who put these people away, but more specifically Hondo’s and his life were at more of a threat. Especially his, given the fact he killed one of their own. But the mission in the past had showcased tensions were high between the group. It was a one-off mission that went wrong. Buck was honestly surprised the others were even alive, the leader of the mission stated if things went awry, he would kill the others.

But back to the situation at hand, one he could control and wasn’t just hypotheticals and what-if scenarios.

Buck wasn’t expecting Athena to say much more but the way she was clenching her jaw and taking in a deep breath signified she was debating voicing what was on her mind. “I assume you aren’t going to humor me to fill me in on this situation either, Sergeant?” It was meant to be a question but the way she gritted her teeth and voiced the words in an unamusing tone, it ended up being a statement. She looked Hondo up and down with an annoyed look on her face.

Unlike most, Hondo did not react to her cold nature. Hondo was trained to be this way, just like Buck was. “You are correct Sergeant,” in response to Hondo’s words Athena’s fist clenched together before she let her jaw unclench, trying to keep up the front she was unaffected by the matter.

“Come on Pit, let's head out,” Hondo stated as he once again gripped Buck’s shoulder with his hand.

Buck paused for a second, letting his gaze rest on Athena. He feels a bit guilty that he couldn’t tell her the full story, but he knows doing so would do more harm than good. The team must be so confused about what is going on, but after this is over, he can finally explain it. If they even wanted to be in the same presence as him, let alone believe the crazy story.

From their side of the story, they walked into a seemingly normal call. They went inside the apartment building and into a room filled with frantic whispers. A woman Buck faintly recognized but couldn’t place was lying in the middle of the room in need of medical attention, which he filed away into the information he should look into later. Then all of the sudden one of the men in the room started yelling orders as he gathered up all of their shit, the frantic yelling also included Buck’s name and something about his birthmark. He immediately clocked this and quickly looked from person to person at the five people in front of him. As he did this he realized where he knew them from, before Buck had the chance to try to calm the situation down one of the guys pulled out a knife.

The dial was turned, when that knife was held to the neck of one of his team, Bobby. Changing his main focus to getting Bobby out of the situation Buck helped contribute too. As soon as they packed up their shit and one of them carrying a woman Buck now knew to be Riley Pope, they all huddled to the door. Four of them left while one of Riley’s brothers, Remy stayed behind with the knife to Bobby’s throat. When a yell from their boss was heard, Remy went bolting down the stairs and was scrambling around like a baby giraffe walking for the first time. But he wouldn’t let them go that easily, he chased him down the stairs and shot at their car after Remy successfully got inside, trying to stop them from getting away.

“Hicks and the team are worried about you, let's head out before they decide to roll out with Black Betty to find out what’s taking so long,” Hondo finished as he squeezed Buck’s shoulder in a supportive manner trying to calm him down after feeling the other man tense up. Hondo always did this whenever he couldn’t verbally reassure someone at the moment.

When he is out in the field and his eyebrows furrow or his stomach drops, he feels the ghost of a hand on his shoulder causing him to take a deep breath and reevaluate. Ever since being back home in America and spending less and less time with Hondo, it has caused him to miss that reassuring squeeze more and more, wishing someone on his team would do the same. To help him calm and have a supportive beam he knew he could lean on. Eddie’s shoulder bumps of reassurance were not enough. They weren’t the same as the firm grasp, he was used to having in the heat of the moment. The firm grasp he craved; he hadn’t felt it in so long.

Buck faintly registered Hondo steering him out of the interrogation room and towards the gray Dodge Charger pursuit, meaning Hondo likely came rushing over here from work. He at least felt a bit better he didn’t disturb Hondo’s time off, knowing how little any of them get as first responders.

He was now sitting in the passenger seat, buckled when Hondo voiced, “Hey Pit,” he started, waiting for him to make eye contact to be sure Buck was paying attention. Hondo once again had a firm grip on Buck’s shoulder when he was crouched next to him with the car door open.

“I’m going to head back in to get your stuff, I’ll be right back,” Buck was glad Hondo had thought to do so, he forgot he didn’t have them in his pockets. Once the adrenaline wore off from having that high from the dial being forced to turn to the max, he was sometimes left in a foggy headspace. It wasn’t like this in the field because oftentimes he was prepared to be having that high. Though this time it was unexpected, he didn’t get to prepare for entering back into that mindset.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Whenever he has no control over how fast or far the dial is turned, it often has the same result. Whether it is from a danger-inducing situation or him being triggered by something in his everyday life. It often leaves him in this floaty state of mind. It wasn’t an immediate thing either. Sometimes it took minutes to kick in or hours, either way, he was often left feeling exhausted. Buck let himself relax in it knowing he had to pull himself out of it soon.

After all there are five fugitives on the run. Probably also in a stolen car, with a weapon. Probably guns too with the boss’s connections.

Snapping him out of his haze, the trunk slammed shut. This made him jump and he glanced behind him to look out the rear windshield, his eyes catching Hondo. Buck assumed his turnout gear was now in the trunk. Then Hondo opened and shut the driver's door and handed Buck his keys, wallet, and phone which was vibrating like crazy.

Hondo then hesitated for a second before he opened his glovebox and put Buck’s gun inside. “We will put it in here for safe keeping and in case you need it, I just want you to calm down for a bit.” Buck knew how it was, he was either in a zone or he felt jumpy as hell and like everything around him was a threat.

In his hand he felt his phone vibrate. Buck is guessing either from the 20 squad or Athena just notified the team Buck was leaving the station after someone collected him.

He didn’t have to guess who was messaging him and what it was about. His finger moved to silence his phone, knowing on top of all of this mess, he couldn’t be distracted. He needed to eliminate as many distractions as possible to fall back into the mindset again to help find these people before they left America. Let alone his team who was probably freaking out and begging Buck for an explanation for the events that occurred. He couldn’t really blame them though, today was wild, especially for Bobby.

A lingering squeeze on his shoulder pulled Buck out of his thoughts. However, it didn’t last for too long before Hondo put his hand back on the wheel of the car as they were driving back towards the station. “Your head is going to have to be in the game soon, you can stay at the station if you want. But you have to tell the team what happened, we’re worried about you Buck. You want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

Buck hesitated for a second, not sure of how he wanted to reply to the man. He didn’t really want to tell Hondo what was going through his mind, but he figured if anyone could give him good advice, it was the man beside him. “Just thinking,” was all he replied with as he was deciding how much he wanted to voice.

“Oh no, that never ends well, what should I be prepared for now? Should call up 20 squad or is this a DEVGRU situation. You know Steve and Bobby will be pissed if you do something stupid,” at Hondo’s reply Buck slowly moved his gaze to glare at him.

“Wow Hondo, how original. You always use to complain when I would head into something without thinking, but now that I am you are poking fun at me. Two can play at that game,” Buck responded with a half-cocked grin on his face. It came off as more of a grimace than a grin.

“All jokes aside though, I’m worried about the team. I mean, I know Hicks wouldn’t have done so if he didn’t know, but he let it slip to Athena I was in the Seals. I mean Bobby already knows obviously or I wouldn’t have been able to have the gun on the scene today but no one else knew.” Buck paused for a second to take a deep breath as used one of his hands to start fidgeting with the other. “She said she wouldn’t tell anyone, and she isn’t one to lie. But her reaction is just the type I was fearing from the team.” Although she semi-apologized afterward for her reaction, it still hurt she had reacted that way in the first place.

They both sat in silence because Hondo had the feeling Buck had something else, he wanted to say. But Buck was pretty hesitant about if he wanted to add it or not.

“Bobby was taken hostage today.” Buck struggled to get that phrase feeling a ball of guilt in his stomach and the urge to throw up. “I can’t help but feel it was my fault. Not only was it because of a mission I went with you guys on in the past, but I couldn’t hone in on my skills fast enough to protect Bobby.”

Hondo took a deep breath, “Buck this isn’t your fault. I’m not exactly sure of the specifics of what went on today, but I can tell you for a fact that knowing Bobby, he wouldn’t blame you. You couldn’t have known when you went on a call today this was going to happen. If you hadn’t answered that call today and it was a different team who knows what would have happened? Sure, they may have not reacted the way they did today, but they would’ve gotten away. You and I both know Bobby would have rather it happen like this than any other way. Lives have potentially been saved Buck, as much as this situation sucks, it isn’t your fault.” Buck nodded as he pulled at the skin around his fingers as the car parked in the spot at the headquarters.

“Don’t blame yourself. Besides it has been a while since we have been on a mission, so we can freshen up on some of our skills when we wait for information on their whereabouts.” Buck nodded as he opened the glove box to put the handgun in the holster he had on his ankle.

“Just prepare yourself,” Hondo added, “the team is pretty freaked out, understandably so. You know how the team gets when there is an attack on one of us.”

Buck nodded as he fixed his pants on his legs, “Can you just give me a second? I want to do something first.”

Hondo nodded as he unbuckled and opened the car door, “text me if you need anything. I’m going to go see if the team has any more updates.”

Buck nodded as he picked up his phone, he had let rest in between his thighs. He put in his passcode and ignored all of the notifications from everyone, going to text Bobby. He didn’t respond to any of the previous man’s texts, he just sent i’m sorry. tell Athena this isn’t for her to handle. it’s safer if you guys stay out of this.

He then slid his phone into his pocket and took a deep breath before stepping out of the car, trying to prepare himself for the hell that was about to rain down.

Chapter Text

After attempting to pull himself together, the effort was put in vain as Street’s gaze roamed his body to check for injuries. At the sight of finding none, Street practically tackled him. Buck could feel all of the stress in his body fade away as the man enclosed him in his arms. The comfort of being who he truly was and not having to put up a false facade, made him break. These people can place trust in Buck’s actions, and not believe he is a risky young kid who is out on the job just for the adrenaline. This swat family truly knew he was capable at his job and trusted him, just as he trusted them. As much as he loved his family from the 118, the crew, but not Bobby because he knew what Buck was capable of, always made comments about his choices. About how irresponsible he was, inexperienced, and he didn’t know what he was doing.

Street took a second with just holding Buck in his grasp, glad the younger was safe. “If trouble doesn’t find you, then it finds me. Thanks for taking one for the team on this one,” Street joked. Even though the man was joking, Buck could hear the worry clear in his tone of voice.

Buck patted Street’s back as he reciprocated the embrace, “Someone had to do it.” He then paused in his response to truly answer what he knew the other man was wondering, “Don’t worry Street, I’m okay.” He felt Street squeeze him one last time in the embrace before letting go.

As soon as Street’s touch left Buck’s body, a touch was felt on his head. Luca usually did this to let Buck know this was not an aggressive move. Before he was brought down into a headlock. As usual, when Luca greeted Buck he was met with a headlock followed by knuckles playfully digging into his head. “Can’t you try to go for at least a month without trying to give me a heart attack,” not long after Luca’s comment Buck heard Chris comment, “I’m pretty sure you got that one covered old man. Look at the state of your hip,” a laugh was then heard, more than likely Tan or Street.

Not long ago Luca sustained an injury in the field and injured his hip. He was currently, as the firefighters called it, the man behind. He usually helped the team with research and following up leads on the case. Quite obviously the team decided to tease the man about the injury.

Deacon and Hondo both voiced their complaint at the younger part of the team’s banter since they were older than Luca.

When Luca let go of Buck to retaliate against Chris’s comment, Deacon approached Buck and let a hand rest on his shoulder. “Glad to see you are doing okay, let me know if I can do anything,” the man then paused, “and for the love of God please make them stop. The old man jokes are practically nonstop, they are making me feel old.”

The banter quickly died down as a woman whom Buck had never met before appeared, “Who is this?” This woman’s presence seemed to kill the mood.

Instead of the question being directed at Buck, it was asked to Hondo. “Why is there someone in the headquarters when no one consulted me first? A heads up would have been nice,” her voice coldly rang out. If it wasn’t for the tone of the words being said then her posture was enough to say she was an authority figure who didn’t take anything from anyone. The reason she was here, was for work and work only, she didn’t want to make friends.

The safety the team had finally allowed Buck to feel was violently ripped away from his grasp by this stranger. He could feel himself pulling away from Deacon’s side. He stood tall, no slack in his posture. The emotion on his face disappeared and the tension was horrible causing everything to be so eerily quiet, you could hear a pin drop. No one wanted to speak first, as if they were afraid of what she would say, but Buck could see the anger on Hondo’s face. Whoever this was, it seemed as though almost everyone on the team had it out for her.

Hondo took a couple of steps forward to help draw the attention to him instead of Buck, he then cleared his throat. “Lieutenant Lynch, Commander Hicks has approved Buckley’s presence in headquarters today. He is here today in relation to the jailbreak with the prisoners we previously locked up on the ship hijacking mission.”

The woman, her name apparently Lynch, shifted her gaze over to Buck. She slowly looked him up and down almost in annoyance, probably at the fact Hondo went over her head and didn’t feel the need to contact her, just Hicks.

With the intense gaze on Buck all he did was nod, trying not to acknowledge the obvious tension in the room. The group sat there in silence for almost a minute before a sound of fast-paced shoes was heard down the hallway before Hicks appeared from around the corner. His stone-cold gaze flickered to almost everyone’s face in the room but lingered on Lynch’s. As if he was done with her shit even more than the team was, but he just had to put up with it. Finally, it landed on Buck’s before the man cleared his throat, cutting the tension in the room.

“Buckley, I haven’t had an update on any news regarding the case. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something,” Buck nodded his head in response before he regarded his thanks to the older man.

All Hicks did in response was nod his head and voice an, “of course,” before they were on to the next topic at hand. “Buckley, I’ve heard the reports from both Seargant Grant and Detective Wilhem of the event. As reliable as I would like to believe their reports are, I would like to hear it from your point of view.” Buck nodded in response, not very surprised at the man’s request. “As much as I don’t want to, the questions will have to be asked in an interrogation room for the purposes of the courts and evidence. I assume you’ll have Hondo question you?” Buck nodded in response as Hicks began his way toward the interrogation rooms.

— — —

Buck sat in a metal chair with Hondo standing across from him leaning against the wall with a little remote in his hand. He presumes everyone else is either trying to figure out where the fugitives are or is outside the room listening in.

Hondo looked Buck in the eyes before he stated, “Are you ready to begin?”

All Buck did in response was nod as Hondo pressed a button on the remote before he set it down on the metal table in front of him. “Sergeant Daniel Harrelson on September 15, 2019, with firefighter Evan Buckley regarding the case of Carson O’neill, Colton Pope, Remy Pope, Adam Foster, and Riley Pope.” Hondo then paused letting himself recollect his thoughts before beginning again, “On September 15, 2019, where were you at approximately 7 am?”

He tried to stifle his yawn as Eddie was letting his head rest on Buck’s shoulder. The holster on his stomach holding his handgun pressed uncomfortably into his chest, causing him to try to gently shift around to still allow Eddie to rest but try to alleviate the pain. He then let his head lie on Eddie’s as he let his gaze wander around the truck to the others in his crew. Eventually, he met Hen’s gaze, in which she was staring at them, in which she mouthed an ‘I told you so’ at him.

Earlier that week he had finally told Hen about the feelings he had towards Eddie and how he didn’t believe the older man reciprocated them. Hen had been very adamant he should shoot his shot and just tell the man because it was obvious the feelings were returned.

But in his mind this didn’t prove anything. They were often tactile like this, though Buck usually initiated it, but whenever Eddie was tired he got more touchy. This didn’t prove anything.

So in response to Hen, Buck raised his eyebrows with his mouth in a line as if to say ‘So? What the hell does this prove?’ and in response, he could see Hen huff as she rolled her eyes. If Chim wasn’t in the ambulance behind the firetruck preparing for the call they were going on, he was sure the man would have backed Hen up.

On that note, they arrived at the apartment complex. Dispatch had said the call was only a medical call. When the callers were pushed to give any more information they hung up, which Buck thought was innately weird. The odd parameters of the call with a lot of factors left unknown is why the firetruck was here to assist on the medical call. If these people were calling for help, especially in a medical emergency, why would they hang up and refuse to provide any feedback to the dispatcher? This wouldn’t be the first time that happened though. They had responded to plenty of calls when someone was embarrassed and refused to elaborate on the phone besides the fact they “slipped” in the shower and that something was stuck. When come on, how the hell does that happen?

Eddie followed Hen out of the engine, with Buck going after him; Bobby leading the group of firefighters into the building with Hen and Chim practically on his heels. Buck stayed towards the back of the group as they entered the elevator with the crappy elevator music playing.

With finally reaching the 5th floor in the complex, Bobby quickly started the search for room E-08 with the other firefighters following in a similar fashion. If the number on the door didn’t give the room away then the franticly mushed-together whispers of multiple voices definitely did. None of the words were able to really be deciphered because as Buck started to understand one, another louder one would replace it.

Not leaving more time to be wasted Bobby knocked on the door announcing the fire department had arrived. A middle-aged man with a dark stubble beard answered the door, allowing the group in. Buck could hear a woman groaning, as someone else was leaning over her comforting her. Something seemed to be wrong with her thigh, though since Buck couldn’t help much on medical calls he stepped forward to help move the man away from the woman so Hen and Chim could get a closer look.

As soon as the blonde woman on the ground made eye contact with him, he faintly realized he knew her from somewhere. From where, he didn’t know but that wasn’t exactly strange. It had occurred a few times when they responded to a call with someone he had previously hooked up with in his Buck 1.0 era.

Buck stowed the information away for later, moving to talk to the man at her side. As soon as he went to talk to the man, a different man who was talking to Bobby, started freaking out. He started yelling orders out to the people in the room before he pulled back the man Buck was trying to talk to.

Sirens were starting to go off in his head, and obviously, he wasn’t the only one this was happening to. Bobby was immediately trying to calm down the situation but now these people were refusing medical care.

In this man’s freak out Buck heard references to the hijacking boat mission which was an immediate red flag to his brain. He stiffened at the mention of Hondo and his name with the added remark about his birthmark. Not only that but they mentioned the fact he had to kill someone at the mission. His team was sure to be afraid of him now, but they didn't know the context, and why he had to do it. He slowly moved his hand to his belt so if needed, he could grab his gun.

The other firefighters in the room looked at Buck with a mix of questioning and horrifed gaze, while Bobby tried to gain back control of the situation. Before he could, a man whom Buck now recognized to be Remy Pope, the same man who opened the door, was handed a knife to which he held it up to Bobby’s throat. He kept yelling for ‘everyone to take a step back’ and ‘not call in the police.’

Buck lifted up his shirt so he was able to gain the grip of his firearm. Turning the safety off, he pulled the gun out and pointed it at the man who was holding Bobby hostage. “Let him go, Remy. It doesn’t have to be this way, don’t make me do this.”

Remy in response didn’t move the knife, he kept it there before replying, “Why would I listen to you, you pig.” Buck kept direct eye contact with his gun still pointing at the man with his finger resting near the trigger, but not on it. Honestly, this man was very inexperienced which made him more dangerous but less likely to act unless violently pushed. “Swat isn’t here to have your back huh? If we really wanted to, we could have killed you,” at the mention of this Bobby held his hands up in the air, begging for the man that was holding him hostage to calm down.

Not only was Bobby freaking out, but he could hear his team’s frantic voices as well. He could also feel Eddie standing beside him, ready to step in, in case any fighting started. He was here to have his back, as usual. At least, he knew he could rely on the man even though Eddie had a worried and concerned look on his face and kept glancing at Buck. The man looked sickly pale. Buck wasn’t shocked though, his team probably wondered why the hell he had a gun and why this man was who he was. Let alone why Remy mentioned he was on a swat team or that he fucking killed someone. His team probably felt like they didn't know who he was, everything they learned about him was a lie.

The others in the room were quickly grabbing all of their things while Colton Pope picked up his sisters and quickly rushed out the door. The others quickly followed him, the man Buck knew to be the boss of the mission stood in the exit of the doorway staring at Buck for a few seconds saying, “I will fucking find you, you piece of shit. You better watch your back, and your buddy Hondo better watch his too.” The man then made quick eye contact with his goon in the room before he swung around, a gun in hand, quickly rushing down the stairs.

At this point Buck could faintly hear Hen, Chim, and Eddie’s frantic chatter but it was more of a buzz to his ears than actual words. Buck followed Remy with his gun, keeping it aimed at the man’s chest because he was not shooting to kill. He couldn’t fucking explain that to the police who would eventually show up. A yell was then heard, which Buck recognized to be the same man who had threatened Buck at the door. Once the yell was heard Remy moved the knife and pushed Bobby away. He then frantically scrambled to get down the stairs, presumably so he could get away from Buck and his gun.

Ya, Buck wasn’t going to let the man get away that easily. Ignoring the yells of his crew, now including Bobby, Buck made his way down the stairs after the man. He liked his odds of catching up with the man who was likely much more out of shape and not in the condition to run down five floors of stairs.

Buck said nothing as he practically leaped down the stairs, skipping some as he went. Though when he finally arrived on the ground floor and raced passed frazzled residents, Remy was already in the car the rest of his crew was probably also in.

Not having justifiable reasons, and well also not wanting to scare the shit out of his team, he raised his handgun and shot at the tires of the vehicle. Evidently, it hit the car but not the tires the car now started slowly releasing a gray cloud, and when the car started driving away, Buck ran after it. He got in as many shots as he could before the car was in the middle of the street. Not wanting to hit any pedestrians, he stopped the fire with his gun. He clicked the safety back on his gun.

In a fit of anger, and with it being the closest thing to him, he kicked over a trash bin. Not even thirty seconds later squad cars pulled up with full lights and sirens. They surrounded him, some of them in the street and others slightly in the parking lot. As he was used to seeing criminals, the car doors of the cop cars opened with the cops standing behind them with their guns pulled, yelling for him to drop his gun and step away from it with his hands up.

He wasn’t surprised this was happening, but what did surprise him was when he was getting cuffed he heard a voice behind him.

Just his luck his arresting officer was Athena fucking Grant. He could feel her disappointed yet curious gaze engrained into his skull. “How are you going to explain this one Buckaroo?”

Chapter Text

Eddie stood next to the ambulance watching Hen and Chim checking over Bobby. Just what the hell was Buck up to? In part he felt hurt, Buck knows Eddie’s secrets and what parts make him tick. He used to feel like he knew Buck just as in-depth, but he was wrong. It seems as though the man he thought he knew inside and out, he didn’t know at all.

Pulling him out of his thoughts was Bobby, he was getting up from the ambulance after getting checked on by his team. But he didn’t get very far before he had to ask, “What the hell was that?” Bobby stopped in his tracks. Hen and Chim hovering behind Bobby as well but a bit further away, they were listening in, ready to step in if needed.

“I would like to believe you had no idea what was happening,” Eddie started as he crossed his arms defensively in front of himself. “But you didn’t seem to freak out by the fact Buck had a gun on call. Which believe it or not is very frowned on upon by protocol unless given a special reason.” Eddie said in a harsh accusing tone, he wasn’t expecting to get the truth given the nervous look on Bobby’s face. He was pissed and he could tell he was taking it out on Bobby, he would feel like shit later but why is the man hiding information in a situation like this. Bobby could have been killed for damned sake. Eddie had a feeling he knew why Buck had a firearm on the scene but wanted his captain to tell him, to get the truth from someone.

Hen stepped forward from where she was leaning against the ambulance, “Eddie you need to calm down. Give Cap a second to breathe, his day hasn’t exactly been easy.” She took a deep breath, “I would like to know what is happening as well but he needs a second.”

“Buck doesn’t have a second! Who knows where the hell he is, what is happening to him, and who those people were.” Eddie replied angrily before he continued, “But Bobby seems to know something, yet refuses to tell us. I know you usually keep things from us to help us but does this seem like the situation to keep things from us.” Eddie then stepped closer to Bobby, “Bobby, your life was in danger today! Buck’s life is in danger, did you not hear that man threaten him? For all we know, all of our lives are in danger, but here we are knowing nothing because you refuse to tell us!” He then stepped back keeping his accusing glare on Bobby, “Standing here like sitting ducks.”

The look on Bobby’s face seemed conflicted and hurt when Eddie let out a sigh while running his hand through his hair. He took a couple of steps backward, “Sorry Bobby, didn’t mean to take it out on you. I’m just really fucking stressed right now.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before Chim finally added, “Bobby, has anyone notified Maddie about this?” Chim then paused, “Does she even know Buck was a cop? Or the fact he was on a swat team?” Hen stayed quiet seeming to be deep in thought. “What kind of secret life is Buck leading? I hope he knows what he is doing,” Chim mumbled under his breath.

Bobby stood there quietly, looking like he was completely put on the spot and was nervous about what to say, which is totally unlike the man. After about thirty seconds with no response the man started, “I approved of him having the firearm on scene. He always has it with him and I’m not able to share much information. The things I do know are not mine to tell, even though I don’t know much. Buck has barely told me anything, I got most of the information from his file. Most of it is classified and completely blacked out.” The man sighed as he began to walk towards the firetruck. “Come on, we are going back to the station. If anyone wants to go home to their families I understand, but we need to put our team back online.”

Bobby then paused in his conversation when his radio rang out with Athena’s voice, telling the team to come to the station for questioning. Buck had left the police station after spilling a bit about his story and they needed their witness statements. Bobby brought his hand up to his face and started rubbing his temple while muttering under his breath something no one could hear. Athena must not know what happened to Bobby given the fact she wasn’t asking if the man was okay as well as hunting down the perpetrators who did this. “I know no one wants to but the quicker we get this done the quicker we can go home. Someone, please drive back to the station where the officers will meet us when I call the third shift so the station can go back online.”

Dan, a firefighter from the second shift who usually drove the firetruck volunteered to drive. He was covering Jen’s shift today because she was off for her daughter’s 18th birthday. Usually, Buck, Jen, or occasionally Bobby drove the firetruck, but obviously, none of them could do so.

As everyone piled into the firetruck, Eddie sat on his own. He couldn’t rest his head on Buck’s shoulder like he did on the way here, there were no silly jokes or random facts that were infiltrating him. The man felt like a hole gathered in his chest, a Buck shaped hole. What was he supposed to tell Christopher? Later this week all three of them were supposed to go to the Los Angeles Zoo to go see their new research topic, the Sunburst Diving Beetle. Chris had a project for the school where they had to choose a bug to research. The boy didn’t want to choose one on his own, he wanted Buck’s help. Together they had chosen this beetle and continued to do research. But that wasn’t good enough for Buck or Chris and they had convinced Eddie to take them to the zoo on the weekend to go see the bug in person.

Not only did he have to break the fact to the kid they wouldn’t be able to go to the zoo this weekend with his Buck but also the man was gone. Eddie heard over Bobby’s radio Buck was taken from the station to go to swat headquarters. Who knew how long Buck would be gone for, knowing Buck he probably felt guilty as hell about the events that occurred. One of two things will probably happen knowing Buck: he will either come back to protect his family at the 118 or he will stay away thinking he is endangering them and solve this damn problem. Either way, the man would be putting his life in danger.

The man in the apartment called Buck a ‘pig’ and referenced he was on a swat team. Let alone the fact Buck had killed a guy. But that form Buck held when he pulled out his gun, which he always had on him according to Bobby, was faintly familiar. It reminded him of the military, the cold look on Buck’s face, his stance, and how he handled the situation. Especially the fact it seemed he had to turn a part of himself off to be able to do his job. This had to just be from the younger man being on a police force none of them knew about, not even Athena. Buck talks about his younger days when he would bounce around from job to job and place to place, this must be the result of one of these scenarios. Except Bobby seems to know a hell of a lot of what is going on but refuses to spill. So he will have to find out himself. He is going to try to get Bobby alone later to try to get more information out of the man. Knowing the two men are closer than most on the team, hopefully, he will at least get some type of reassurance Buck is okay. The only thing the man mentioned was the fact he approved of Buck having a gun out on the force. After today, it makes sense why the man did.

He could recognize Bobby’s voice in the background talking with Athena over the phone. The older man wasn’t saying much, he was more just listening to Athena, which Eddie couldn’t hear.

Chim was also on the phone relaying information to Buck’s sister, Maddie. He could only imagine how frantic Maddie was, she would probably be at the station or on her way to the station when they got there. Chimney looked frantic and he was trying to console the woman over the phone, usually, Hen would help calm down the situation but she was driving the ambulance back to the station.

Eddie contemplated for a second before he leaned forward letting his hand rest on the man’s knee. Chimney’s eyes flickered to Eddie, Eddie then nodded before lightly squeezing the man’s knee. Even though Eddie didn’t say anything he could see the comfort the reassurance brought the man.

— — —

The team all went home besides for him and Bobby. The rest of the team was already questioned, and Eddie just finished up with his. He was alone in the locker room sitting on the bench with his phone in his hand. He was flipping the device back and forth in his hands, contemplating whether he should text Buck or not. He previously already did, multiple times, but the man never answered. His previous messaging was more frantic, in the heat of the moment, and short. It was more of him freaking out and looking for some sort of reassurance about what was happening and if the man was okay. Eddie knew the man couldn’t answer his phone when he was initially taken, but now that he knows the man is out and with some man Buck called Hondo, according to Athena. Now Eddie could finally get a response.

Eddie took a deep breath and opened up his phone which had no passcode. He tapped on Buck’s contact and tried writing out the message. But anything he typed didn’t sound right. He wanted to know what the hell happened but also didn’t want to push the younger man’s boundaries. Since he wasn’t already aware of anything he found out yesterday, this was a touchy subject. But in his mind saying the wrong thing is better than saying nothing at all. Usually, he would know how to comfort Buck, but number one this wasn’t in person and number two he found out a whole new side of Buck he never knew before yesterday.

He took a breath and started typing, he will just treat him how he used to treat him. It will hurt the man if he starts acting differently. He wasn’t very good with words but it’s the thought that counts.

Hey Buck. I heard you made it to the other station, please text me when you can about how you are. The team is really worried about you, and I am too. I don’t want to push but what happened today?

He then pressed send on the message before he decided to add Bobby’s okay too. Don’t worry about him, he’s a bit shaken up but he is alright. He hasn’t told us anything either. Whatever is happening Buck just please be safe, and please come home.

Eddie pressed the off button on his phone and slid it into his pocket letting out a deep sigh. Why did he have to have feelings for this man? He always falls for the troublesome ones. Life can never be easy.