Chapter Text
Chapter 12
“The rebuilding of the temple has begun My High Lord, but there are still whispers of strange noises coming from the sea,” Ianthe addressed me but spoke to the entire room as she glided into the ongoing war council meeting as if she were simply a guest late for tea. Lucien had already complained to me in private that Ianthe returned to the manor in the middle of the night, demanded an audience with him, and then was upset that he chose to meet her in the study instead of his bedroom. As she approached the head of the table, her blue eyes trailed up and down Lucien, who was sitting on my left side. I glanced over at my friend for a moment. He was still focused on the map, a bit too intently, not acknowledging her entrance. Ianthe was rarely denied what she wanted. I didn’t understand why Lucien refused to bed her when I had watched him take on far more questionable females, but a part of me enjoyed her having to deal with rejection. Ianthe bowed low once she was within a few feet of us. I nodded at an empty chair towards the center of the right-hand side of the table.
Once she sat, looking a bit put off at the distance I put between her and the head of the table, she continued on.
“The sound of large wings flapping violently in the darkness and the mysterious groaning of wooden ships are said to be heard most moonless nights, but neither has been seen in the darkness.” She continued her overly dramatic retelling. Two council members rolled their eyes, one of which was her father, but the rest focused on Ianthe as if she were the most vital member present.
"I implore this esteemed council to take time to consider. What threat still lurks in the darkness of our court?"
All at once, the males trying to gain Ianthe's favor began to speak over one another.
“Large wings could be Illyarian spies from the night-”
“It's probably King Hybern taking stock–”
“Perhaps that half-breed is setting the stage for war with us at last-”
Lucien and I locked eyes for the span of a heartbeat at that comment as the council continued to bicker over one another. Ianthe attempted to regain control of them. They were all still unaware of the terms Lucien and I sent to the night court.
I loudly cleared my throat, and silence immediately fell.
“Thank you, High Priestess, for your update. I will assemble a small unit to assess the strange noises-”
There was a rushed knock at the chamber door, and before anyone could answer, the sentry posted outside the door suddenly stepped in and bowed at the waist.
“Apologies, High Lord and esteemed council members, but there has been an attack on Eostre. Many are wounded, and they call for aid.”
Eostre was only a few hours by horseback from the manor. I stood up calmly in the stunned wave of silence that took over the room.
“Lucien, secure the manor’s warding now.” My voice had taken on the timbre of the War Band General I was supposed to become. Lucien nodded and took off as I turned towards the door, ”You,” I pointed at the sentry with a nail that was already elongating, “Update your chain of command that the manor is to be locked down. All remaining sentries are to meet me in the stables immediately.” He nodded and took off at a run. Ianthe's father stood and locked eyes with me and I nodded. Being both under his command and now above it came with the ability to convey orders with a look. He was to follow and assist that frightened sentry that took off running. He marched out of the room.
I took a deep breath and looked around at the remaining council members’ shocked faces. “The rest of you, ready yourselves, we leave in half an hour from the stables to Eostre.”
Everyone began to filter quickly out of the room, but I moved forward and grabbed Ianthe’s hand as she began to leave, stopping her at my side.
“Ianthe, I need you to protect Feyre.” I lowered my voice so only Ianthe could hear the pleading tone that took over. My gaze bored into hers. I needed to know Feyre was being watched and kept safe. I would not be able to focus otherwise. I respected the males at my table, and though they all knew the love I bore for Feyre, my need to keep her safe would be seen as a weakness a High Lord shouldn’t possess.
“Thank you for the honor.” She replied and walked straight for Feyre's chambers.
***
There was no battle to be fought by the time we arrived. Another mess to clean and argue about. The attack took place on the main road into town where most of the buildings had recently been rebuilt. The road was littered with debris. Wood splinters and glass from the broken windows were being swept into piles. Small pieces stuck stubbornly to pools of red and black blood. I checked into the tavern which turned into a town hall meeting place again. Witnesses claim it was a pack of a breed of Fae none of us had heard of before. They ran as fast as a naga but in the shape of a wolf. Black, smooth skin and rows of razor-sharp teeth. The pack ripped apart 4 Fae males and injured at least 10 others. And then they vanished into the forest, "as if being called back", without a single fucking footprint.
I searched the woods as the beast for a full week for any piece of evidence to show who was responsible for the attack at Eostre. And I found nothing.
****
“I’m telling you the mad king has never stopped wanting Prynthian. He may have the power to breed new fae!”
“You can’t possibly be blaming King Hybern when there are reports of the sound of wings here too! Winged Illyrian soldiers could have brought in those monsters from wherever they came from. Abominations attract other abominations. And they at least believe to have cause to harm us.”
Lucien convinced me to ride on horseback back to the manor to at least make the appearance that I was listening to the males who argued at my back.
“Families are leaving Spring Court, and this will cause more to do the same.”
I stopped my horse and turned to look back. Ianthe’s father was looking back at me intensely. He made that choice very choice himself. Putting his family’s safety above all other obligations.
They flee because they know you cannot protect them. You cannot even protect the one you love most of all. My father’s voice growled as I felt the familiar twisting and turning of the beast within me, pushing to get out as I pushed back. I couldn't stop it this time. I barely had enough control of myself to dismount from my horse before turning into the beast and letting it take me running ahead through the forest. Looking for something to satisfy the murderous appetite this week of failure created.
***
I washed and changed quickly in my chambers. If I hurried I could still have breakfast with Feyre before meeting with the court members who did not go to Eostre but proper politics ruled that I still attended the meeting to update them.
I sighed heavily. I would never enjoy this part of being High Lord. I had to don a mask that felt as real as the physical mask that was stuck on my face for 50 years. I opened my door and all hopes of breakfast faded. Ianthe stood outside of my door. Looking quite unhappy.
“Good Morning, Ianthe. I was about to find Feyre for breakfast.” I gave her one of my most practiced smiles but her mouth remained in a thin line as she glared at me.
“Do you truly believe you can abandon some of your most loyal subjects in the forest after an attack on our land and then go along as if it never happened?” The patronizing edge to her voice caused the false smile on my own face to shift into stone.
“Abandoned is a bit dramatic. I couldn’t take their bickering.” Ianthe's eyes widened for a moment at the forthright response.
“I have news to discuss with you and Lucien.” She inclined her head for me to follow and turned her body to walk down the hallway her blue robes swished ahead. I followed behind her when Feyre emerged from one of the smaller libraries unexpectedly.
Her hair was braided loosely to one and had on an aggressively pinkish-purple gown that clashed with her skin tone making her appear even more pale. She locked eyes with me. Empty eyes with large dark circles beneath them. I walked up and kissed her forehead. I closed my eyes and breathed her in before looking her over. Adjusting to becoming Fae had to be difficult I imagined. And with all the nightmares that haunted her, no wonder she still looked so fragile. Ianthe cleared her throat as she reached the double doors of the large study. I stepped away from Feyre and continued to the study.
Lucien opened the door from the inside for us but then mumbled a quick excuse to go and retrieve something from the upstairs study that he wanted to show me. I knew it was likely a lie to get away from Ianthe but usually, the ones he crafted for that were more clever.
I moved to sit at my desk and Ianthe walked to the door and closed it with a click. She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. I opened it and reviewed the numbers on it. My stomach dropped out from the amount of zeros.
“This is impossible. He can't possibly still have this many ready to fight.” I said in a low voice.
“My source is confident in that number, Tamlin. But you could be the one to stop it. He always favored your father and with my visits, I have built goodwill–”
“Don't dare speak of that aloud,” I growled in her direction causing her to take a step back from the other side of the desk where she stood. I didn't even trust these walls with the knowledge Ianthe had been covertly sharing with me about her trips to Hybern. This room was going to be hosting males who would not understand why I would put a high pristess at risk. And others who would celebrate the possible return of that alliance.
I walked to the window and opened it. I ignited the missive and summoned the wind to remove any trace as Lucien returned to the room with a large map of our court in hand. He seemed upset about something but his gaze told me we would speak on it later.
****
I wish later didn't come.
“You’re sure you saw Talons?” Ianthe asked Lucien for what must have been the fifth time since he explained what occurred this afternoon with Feyre. And as he and Ianthe went round and round yelling at one another about what we should do, all I could think about was the night I destroyed the study. The night she shielded and saved herself from my explosion of pain. The perfect ring that separated peace from destruction. Life from death.
Feyre has powers, akin to my own and the other High Lords.
Powers that would explain why Rhys refuses to break the bargain. Anger filled me at that thought but stronger than that was the acidic burning of jealously.
And she didn’t come to me when her powers started.
She asked Lucien for help.
Not me.
“Tamlin, Tam. Just let her train. Let her master this. If the other High Lords come for her, let her stand a chance.” Lucien's pleading cut through my thoughts. But the image of her shaking on the floor of the study changed into the moment I saw Amarantha snap her throat as I was bleeding and healing too damn slowly to save her.
I had to protect her.
“No.” I ground out. Ianthe smiled but Lucien looked like I had slapped him in the face.
“We give them no reason to suspect she might have abilities which training will certainly do.” Lucien opened his mouth in outrage to argue but I cut him off “Don't give me that look, Lucien.”
But my best friend stood there looking equal parts enraged and disappointed at me. As if he had any right to decide what was best for MY Feyre. As if he was the one being drawn and quartered by all of the needs and expectations of being a High Lord of a court with enemies at all sides. I felt for a second myself slipping away again as the rage took control and my power rattled the very foundation of the manor for a moment.
“Do not push me on this.” I spoke low and deadly and then inhaled focusing all of my strength into not killing my best friend and taking control of myself once more. But I still felt the beast there. Like a single misstep, one more small push, and I would topple over into the void again.
It must have been apparent because both Ianthe and Lucien existed. I laid my head on the desk. And without warning sleep took me.
***
“There was once a time of peace between our two lands, High Lord. A give-and-take that benefited all. My king desires that once more.” I shot a blast of raw power from my hands towards The Attor who hissed from the dark canopy above. Broken branches and leaves rained down on top of me as he chuckled from some unseen perch.
“Come out and fight you coward!” I bellowed to the point of pain as I searched the canopy for any sign of him. I lifted my arms up and pulled a mighty gust of wind to spear through all of the branches in the trees around me at the same time as I willed the ground itself to quake. But the Attor remained hidden. Hissing my greatest fears from the shadows.
“I can taste the madness worming through your being High Lord,” The rattling hiss barely louder than the wind roaring through the trees above, “You pretend to maintain control when in reality you have never learned how to survive the torrent of power within you. Like the beast you favor, you slash and grab and crawl for control. How much longer until the beast takes control of you forever?”
“I AM HIGH LORD!” I bellowed and reached for that torrent of power I rarely touched. Not the bottomless rage of the beast, but the true, Mother-given gift of power of the High Lord of Spring that I kept locked up because my mother told me I must.
If my father and brothers learned of it…
If the other High Lords sensed the true depth of it…
If Amarantha learned of it…
Ifs all ending in death.
But I was out of options. This was the only choice left.
The magic bucked and fought me like an unbroken stallion, but I held fast and let it fill me. Reform my bones, bring a pulse back into my heart of stone, and finally-
“There you are, I’ve been looking for you,” a cold voice suddenly echoed, turning my blood to ice. A voice I had not heard in many, many years.
Slowly, I turned around. Upon a black stone throne in the middle of the clearing was King Hybern.
“It is time to put aside the half breeds, monsters, and priestesses. It's time for you to stop playing political games and start acting like one worthy of your father's power.”
He paused, assessing me with black eyes.
I stood rooted to the spot.
Something was wrong.
This wasn't right.
This didn’t make sense.
I could feel his power moving around me just out of reach somehow.
Then, with his eyes still boring into mine, his thin lips curled upwards.
“Or perhaps I should treat with the one who sleeps beside you.”
I lunged forward to tear out his throat, but then I fell. I landed face-first onto the wooden floor.
“Tamlin!” Feyre's voice filled my ears, but she wasn't there. I shook with the raw power that I drew in my sleep. I took a few heaving deep breaths and forcibly shut the chest within me where I kept my true power inside.
I winnowed outside of Feyre's door and listened. She was still inside, and her deep rhythmic breaths made it sound like she was actually sleeping. I exhaled a small amount of relief but I couldn't go into her room. Because how could I even look at her when it was clear that not only were we compromised.
But the King of Hybern now had an interest in her.
*****
Lucien and I studied the three different maps he had recovered weeks ago. Based on Lucien’s most recent reports from the other courts: Spring was getting hit the hardest with corrupt Fae creatures but multiple other courts reported looting of libraries and temples.
“Even the humans are on edge.” Lucien's mechanical eye whirled as his fingers traced the wall line searching for a specific point, ”Bron reported finding another one of their tributes torn apart by the weak spot in the wall….. here.” Lucien's fingers stopped and pointed at a spot that already held an x on it. A known gap in the magical wall between our court and the human lands. It was the 5th human found killed on our side of the wall in the last week.
“We are being spread too thin.” I said while straightening up in my chair and arching my back to stretch out the muscles that tightened after being hunched over the three maps and all of our notes these past few hours.
“Feyre doesn't believe it's the Night Court,” Lucien said nonchalantly, but I could smell the scents of fear and apprehension wafting off of him. I stared at him, but he dodged my eye contact and went back to staring at the maps. I stood up from my chair and went to the window. It was still before dawn, and everything seemed so peaceful in the twilight. Such a contrast to the storm building within me.
Your closet friend fears you.
You will fail them all.
My father's voice echoed up from the dark pit within me.
Lucien shifted in his seat. He was never one to be comfortable with silence. And he was still mad at me for not taking his side last night.
Feyre was still only a few months into living in our world. Ianthe reported that Feyre was having difficulty even being around her for a significant amount of time. She was "rudely silent or sleeping" according to Ianthe. But Alix told me to give her more time. And despite Feyre thinking otherwise, she truly had no idea how treacherous many of the Fae kind could be. It was likely that Rhys was altering her memories.
But what if that smug bastard is right about what was coming?
I turned away from the window to face Lucien.
“I am going to speak with King Hybern.”
Lucien's head whipped towards mine. His metal eye whirled and clicked, and other widened in shock.
“Tamlin, that-”
“You don't need to come with me-”
“The Mother herself would need to stop me.” Lucien cut me off while he stood up and then strode across the study and stopped a few feet from me.
“Let me be clear, I don't like this idea. The cauldron boil me, I hate it. But you will not go alone, Tam. We will do it properly, and we will come home.”
Alive. Very few went willingly to that cursed island, and even fewer returned. King Hybern was known for his cruelty.
But he was also one of the oldest Fae alive. He had knowledge that could rival the best scholars of Day Court.
I clapped my hand on Lucien's right shoulder. He nodded. Not forgiveness, but understanding.
I would not fail them.
Not my court.
Or my bride.
****
By the afternoon, Lucien had sent a missive requesting an audience with King Hybern and secured a small group of males to join us and I had warded the manor itself. We returned to the study to arm ourselves, because there was no one alive that could beat him with magic, so swords and daggers were the best choice.
As we exited the study, Feyre stopped in her tracks in the foyer as if she were coming to see us. She wore a green silk dress but her eyes still held that emptiness to them as she approached.
“You're going so soon?” Feyre asked in a small voice.
“There's activity on the western seaboard. I have to go.” I answered.
“Can I go with you?” She asked in a slightly stronger voice. Lucien winced at her words and continued on past us.
“I’m sorry.” I tried to grab her hand to show I was sincere but she backed out of my reach. “It's too dangerous.”
“I know how to remain hidden. Just take me with you” she retorted.
“I won't risk our enemies getting their hands on you.” I felt both fear and anger rising at her defiance as she scanned the grounds outside of the open doorway.
“Don't even think about it Feyre,” I growled and her attention snapped back to me. I would not lose her to her own ignorance.
“I can fight. Please.”
I couldn’t stay here and fight with her. I shook my head and started to walk towards the doors. Once she was safe I could explain everything. And as if she could hear my thoughts she shouted after me, “There will always be some threat! Some reason that keeps me in here!”
I stopped. I would try reason.
“You can barely sleep through the night-”
“Neither can you!”
“You can barely stand to be around other people–”
“You promised” her voice cracked and for a moment my resolve almost did as well. But I had to protect our court. I had to protect her.
“Have Bron take you and Ianthe for a ride–” I tried to start over gently but Feyre yelled over me.
“I want to DO something! Take me with you!”
The anger in me began to win out as my claws punched out of my knuckles. We have had this fight so many times and yet still she could not understand that I was protecting her. She could not trust me enough to see all I was doing was to keep her out of danger.
“Even if I risked it, your untrained abilities make you a liability.” Feyre drew back for a moment. But it was true. She was a hazard to herself and others right now. She just needed time to adjust and I would force her hand.
“I’m coming with you.” she said again with a pleading undertone.
“No, you aren't.” I strode out the door before I could change my mind on the plan altogether. I felt Feyre hit the shield I had placed around the house.
She screamed my name but I couldn't stop.
One day she would understand, that I did this all for her.