Chapter Text
Diluc was dreaming. He had been seeing the same dream for months, but he couldn't remember it.
He had been like this ever since he stopped using the delusion. It called for him in his sleep, promising him great power.
Like a ghost, it never went away.
It had come to the point that a slight irritation caused Diluc to have a severe reaction. He would bark at anyone coming near, and he regretted it a lot, especially to an innocent person.
He felt more and more insane as time went on. Even the maids were getting afraid of him. Adelinde was the only one who could come near him without getting spooked or scratched. “Excuse me, Master Diluc,” she would say that sentence every time she entered.
A tray placed so softly; it made no sound. Her green eyes looked at him worriedly before she went away. On the other hand, he was curled up in his blanket as his whole body shook in desire.
'Kill her,' it sang in his mind.
With everything that went on, the delusion spoke into his ears with its alluring voice. It dragged him into the abyss.
Diluc wanted to escape this madness.
Everything he did had cumulatively become a blur as each day passed.
“Diluc, is something wrong?”
The image in front of him was blurred. It was something akin to blue in front of him. It reached out to him, but his hand flickered it away as quickly.
“Hmph.” His head hurt.
Whatever blue thing that was, it moved away and left him alone.
It was lonely somehow after that.
“Good morning, Master Diluc! Come for a prayer?”
There was a singing in his ear. Diluc could hear a song playing with the lyre and organ. It was sweet. Something akin to yellow and dark red touched him, and he slapped it away as quickly.
He heard a curse directed at him, but his mind didn't register it. “Hmph...” he started to walk away.
Leaving, the yellow thing with its shoulder slumped down.
The winds blew past him. He could hear something sneezing and a cat's meow. The source came from a weird green thing sitting on the roof. It said hi to him, and he quickly turned away.
“Oh, you poor, poor, boy.”
A tune played. The melody calmed him only for a moment before the madness returned, whispering in his ear.
Useless, utterly useless!
“...Hmph,” he turned away from the calming tune.
A smile, so soft and sad, was found on the green thing.
He was walking along the shore when a blonde thing ran into him. He grabbed it and suddenly pushed it away.
It stilled as his body did also.
“Diluc, do you hear me?”
He heard nothing, but he couldn't voice it. The whispering intensified as he was ordered to run by the voices inside his head.
“Hmph.”
He turned and ran.
There was something warm around him, holding him like a softball. When his eyes looked up, the same pair of red eyes as his own would look down.
“Shh, sleep Diluc, sleep.”
He closed his eyes as he fell into that warm.
“....Diluc... Di.... Luc,” something was calling for him. A pair of hands was on his shoulder, shaking him. The warmth was nice, not too hot nor too cold. It enveloped him perfectly. “Diluc!”
He opened up his eyes to see a cavalry captain sitting beside his bed.
'What's going on?' he thought as he tried to regain his memory. It was all blurry.
“You have been out of it for quite some time. Adelinde asked me for help,” the cyro formed on Kaeya's hand as it touched him. He tried to slap it away, but the knight held his hands down in time. Kaeya growled at him, “I'm not going to let you do that a second time.”
As the coolness hit him, Diluc felt like melting. His body leaned into the source of it all, nuzzling into Kaeya's hand. The lone sapphire inspected him warily. The man didn't push him away nor berate him for it.
'Lock him here, keep him here,' the delusion whispered in his ears once again as he sprang from Kaeya's hand.
“Hmph, why are you here?” he tried his hardness not to let those desires overwhelm him. His body was aflame. Several sinister thoughts went through him. He started to feel like the offer wasn't so bad.
But the knight didn't back down.
“Seriously, how would I not be here?” the hand retreated, and Diluc signed in relief. Kaeya continued, “You were walking around mindlessly and barking at everyone that comes near you with that 'Hmph',” Kaeya mocked him with a deeper voice. Their tone was a bit different with Kaeya having a higher octave than him, but the knight seemed to enjoy it. “You need to tell me what is wrong, Diluc, before whatever you're facing destroys the relationship between you and Mondstadt.”
“Is it all me?” he didn't notice as everything had been a blur, and Kaeya nodded.
What was happening to him?
Diluc felt something, two things, moving inside him. They were battling, and the residue of the fight burned him. His eyes landed on the delusion on the table along with the vision on his hip.
It was flame; the things inside him were flames.
'Throw that pretty rock away,' the delusion commanded. The chain of its black flame struggled him.
His whole body listened to its command as his hands reached down to grab the vision, but Kaeya snatched it away from him.
The knight eyed him warily, “Is it the delusion?” Kaeya appeared on his side once again, he didn't notice when the man moved. Kaeya's face was lit up by the pyro emitting from his vision. “Three years, is it?” he nodded, and Kaeya sighed loudly.
After his father's death, the delusion had become some sort of legacy for him. It was something passed down by his father, even if it killed his father and broke the bond between him and Kaeya.
It was Crepus' legacy.
After his journey in Snezhnaya and getting his vision back, Diluc still used it during his nightly activities as a vigilante.
Just like an addiction, it became a part of him.
“You're getting erosion. Never thought it could appear on a human. Hah, these counterfeits...” the knight mumbled things he didn't understand.
“Erosion?” he repeated as pain jabbed into his mind, making him wince. 'Get away from that man,' the voice inside him enraged.
“Yes, a state where you slowly lose your mind and become a creature moves by only your desire or whatever the abyss intends.”
Sweats appeared on him, “Is there no cure?”
The pyro in his vision shone brightly, and Kaeya gave him a reassuring smile. “Well, this boy didn't give up, so why should we?”
The gentle hands pushed him back down to the bed. Kaeya slapped a towel with cold water on him, as the knight giggled, and he growled.
Kaeya patted on his head, “Sleep Diluc, sleep.”
His eyes slowly closed, letting the cryo envelop him.
There was a small hand in front of him. It was shaking. His eyes followed the hand to see a boy with a medical eyepatch on his right eye. Kaeya? but it wasn't his Kaeya.
It was a small boy that looked like Kaeya when he was young. He never noticed how small Kaeya was before since Kaeya had always outgrown him in height starting from their teenage years.
This boy, at his height a little below his hip, was Kaeya Alberich nonetheless.
He was holding onto his shirt while looking down at the grass. The hand held in mid-air.
He tried to reach it, only for his hand to pass through, for a hand, much smaller than his, to take the hand ahold.
“Kaeya!” a minuscule version of him appeared, smiling at the blue-haired boy. Little Kaeya was startled, but he held the reaching hand tight.
The two smiled at each other before running to the hills of Mondstadt, leaving him alone in the middle of what appeared to be Springvale.
'What is happening?' was all Diluc could think of.
The feelings were similar, yet it was different like he had experienced this before. The truth was he hadn't.
His eyes scanned the area to find any way he could escape this or return to his place.
Whatever this place was, it wasn't his place.
His eyes scanned the surroundings as they landed on a man with dark blue hair and a dark cloak used for hiding from the surroundings.
It was someone similar to Kaeya, but older than his Kaeya. Their face was worn out by age and weariness. It gave off that the man had aged more than his age intended.
Their face was sharp with a softer jawline than his father's. It complemented his slim body with some muscle well, even if they looked starved more than anything.
The thing that captured him the most was their golden pupils with a star inside of them.
Their eyes followed the pair running to play, focusing on little Kaeya the most. A guilty smile appeared on them before they turned away.
Diluc's eyes and theirs intertwined as the man was in the process of turning away. Both of them stilled. The man spoke in an unknown language and ran away as fast as he could.
It left Diluc dumbfounded.
He analyzed the situation again.
He seemed to have appeared back to Mondstadt of the past. Little him and little Kaeya appeared unable to see him while the weird dark man appeared able to.
It was weird. Some theory popped up as his eyes landed on the red roof of Dawn Winery. He needed some test subjects to test his theory.
All in all, Diluc might be dreaming.
The maid couldn't see him, even Adelinde couldn't see him. It was a skeptical feeling to see Adelinde younger. She was famed for her ever-lasting beauty despite her age, but seeing her like this, the woman definitely aged.
He might take her shopping after this.
Everything else he did was treated like a ghost. If he lifted a book, the maids would run away instantly. Then, Adelinde would appear with her arms spreading behind her, protecting other maids like a mother hen.
But there was one person he hadn't tested yet.
His eyes landed on the dark fir wood door; it was the door to his father's office.
Diluc was afraid to open it to see the face of his once-dead father still alive and healthy. There were mixed feelings inside of him. One he was happy, second he was afraid of what it would do to him.
In order to return to where he was, Diluc steeled his mind and opened the door.
The office was similar to his, yet contrasting different in tone and mood; it was warm and soft compared to his dark and dangerous. The winds of Mondstadt blew inside as the bell hanging from the roof rang. He remembered removing it because it caused him irritation, but now it sounded sweet and calming.
The sounds of the pen moving resonated with the room. A small humming from the presence inside the room was melodious. An apple was placed on the table with little paper signed from 'K. and D.' A stack of unread children handling books was found on the desk.
A tea, prepared by Adenline, was placed on the plate. The presence didn't notice him, but Diluc felt stigmatized standing in his presence. All of Diluc's horrible actions came to him like a flood, his dealings with the Fatui, his action nearly killing Kaeya, his unfulfilled promise of becoming a knight, and his lost years fighting for nothing.
Diluc was unworthy to stand before him.
Whether by the hitch of his breathing or the winds passing the door, the red orbs looked up. They blew wide as they stared at him.
Excitement, fear, longingness came to Diluc like a tide.
He tried to voice out, but something struck at his throat. He wanted to voice something, anything.
“Huh? Diluc...? Is that you?”
'Father! It's me!' He spoke it out, but no sounds were coming from his vocal cords, as if he had become muted.
Crepus stood up from his desk to him, and Diluc's eyes started getting hurt. Bottled emotions inside him were leaking out bit by bit.
He didn't even know if he was more happy or sad.
All he knew was that he longed for his father's presence for the longest time. It was a desire he had kept in the back of his mind, one that was the most desired.
Crepus' warm hand cupped his face into the wrinkled hand. It warmly enveloped him as his tears slid down. 'Father, there have been a lot of things going on.'
His wrinkled fingers inspected his face as they also wiped his tears.
'It has been hard without you around. Things are never normal. I have been running around a lot of places. The mansion is empty.'
“If your mother was here, she would be angry at me,” Crepus laughed. “You look not an ounce like her!”
'Yes, yes, she would.'
The pairs of two red orbs stared at each other. Crepus gave him a sad slime, “What’s wrong, Diluc? You can tell your father anything.”
'I missed you a lot,' was the last unsendable message he tried to voice as his vision blackened.
He woke up again in his room to the same ceiling. His chest hurt. It was like there was a million blade plunged into him. He tried to sit up, but he was unable. Diluc groaned softly.
His body's temperature didn't died down one bit, it was still an unbearable burning flame. He heard someone talking. It was the voice of a male and a female. Diluc tried to inspect it but was rewarded with the hurting pain inside his chest. He winced loudly.
The voices outside his room stopped as the door opened, and Kaeya entered the room.
The knight sat beside him. A hand was placed on his forehead. He flinched, but Kaeya held him down as usual. He didn't notice the stain of tears on his face, had he been crying in his sleep?
“I have asked for Barbara. She said you were okay, but seriously how are you considered okay?” the knight frowned. His hands moved to change the towel from his face to a new one while Diluc sat there, still dumbfounded. The lone sapphire stared at him, “Tell me what's wrong, immediately.”
They would usually bicker back and forth before one of them surrendered, but he was too tired to fight. He blurted out, “I've met father.”
Everything stilled. Kaeya didn't say anything nor did he.
It took them a moment for Kaeya to address it.
“You were hyperventing and crying in your sleep. Is that why?” the knight asked.
Kaeya was sitting on the chair near the bed. There was a stack of paperwork and medicine on the counter. It seemed Kaeya was nursing him this whole time.
There was a bitter taste in his mouth.
One document was held in his hand, “Albedo has analyzed you.” Diluc frowned, without his consent? Kaeya was quick to dismiss it. “If there is anyone who can analyze you, it's Albedo. Don't judge me.”
Kaeya pulled out an apple and handed it to him. It overlapped with the apple on Crepus' desk.
“The delusion did quite a damage on you. It seems to break your mind into its way, which I don't quite understand, but I think you do, Diluc.” He did. “Luckily though, lady luck is on your side. You are still able to recover.”
“On what condition?” he asked, and Kaeya giggled. It was a sad giggle.
“Pyro visions are given to the people with strong passion or desire. Similar to vision, delusion operated similarly. Pyro delusion dragged you into your uncontrollable desire. Like an undying flame, it won't stop burning,” Kaeya monologued. “You can undo it on the condition that you best your greatest desire to stop the source of flame,” the knight pointed at him. “The desire you kept inside your heart, the strongest one. Do you know it, Diluc?”
His mind railed to the dream that kept him every night, the same dream that he had been having for the longest time which he didn't remember. When he woke up from it, the delusion was enraged. It whispered promises to him every time.
Was it his strongest desire manifesting into a dream?
He turned to Kaeya's lone sapphire, “Is there no actual cure?”
“If there has been something like that, I wouldn't even be here in Mondstadt, Diluc.”
The form of Kaeya was lonely. He wasn't looking at Diluc but something else entirely, something unknown with a hint of sadness.
The knight smiled as he changed the subject.
“How was your dream with fath-Crepus by the way?” Kaeya changed his wording amid his sentence as he continued. Diluc felt weird. He didn't like Kaeya calling Crepus father after the incident, and they had accustomed to this new routine, but hearing him call his father Crepus was weird.
He gathered his voice, “I dreamed of when we were young around 7 or 10.” Kaeya's eyebrows quirked up understandably. Diluc continued, “I met your younger self. Little you extended your hand to me.”
“Little who again?” Kaeya's voice became ridiculously high. The knight was mocking him with his eyebrows high.
“Just let me recount in peace,” he glared, and Kaeya shrugged. “I tried to accept your hand, but my hand passed through. I had become something akin to a ghost. The maids only saw the object I was lifting.”
“I see,” Kaeya nodded to reassure him that the knight was listening.
“That when I tested it with father, he saw me,” Diluc felt his eyes pained. “He recognized me at first glance and moved to hold me in his hand. It was warm, Kaeya. It was warm.”
Unlike the last time, Diluc had been with Crepus. The man was slowly losing temperature in the young knight's arms. His father smiled as the cold hands touched him for the last time.
Diluc's mind went blank.
A hand was placed on his shoulder. The lone sapphire stared at him.
He slumped down quietly. They didn't say anything as the knight let his emotions die down.
After he became a lot calmer, Diluc felt a bit embarrassed. Kaeya didn't tease him this time though.
It reminded him of when they were young knights; when he was still the cavalry captain. Diluc wasn't the best at handling his emotions, unlike Kaeya. When he had an outburst of emotion, the bluehead would be beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder and saying nothing.
It was all he could ever ask for.
Right now, Kaeya was doing his paperwork on Diluc's desk while he was still lying in his own bed.
The flame didn't die down one bit. He was still withering in agony and snapping at Kaeya from time to time. When he tried to go outside, the knight would stop him immediately.
He wondered why Kaeya spent so much time with him. He knew Adelinde asked the knight to help him, but even he knew this was excessive.
So, Diluc was struck looking at the knight's form.
'Kill him, it will be so easy,' the delusion whispered in his ears.
The black flame chains appeared around Kaeya's neck, slowly tightening him. All it took would be one snap, and Kaeya would fall.
His stomach churned at the image of the delusion shown.
He did notice something from the dream. The delusion couldn't reached inside his dream. It was a space only for him without the delusion interventions.
He might try to linger in it more next time.
His eyes stayed on the bluehead as he was the only thing interesting in this room, the way Kaeya scribbled his notes, how he groaned when something wrong happened, the little habit he did by mumbling in his breath.
It was calming, to say the least.
Suddenly, Kaeya turned to him. The voice asked, “What would you like for dinner, Diluc?”
“I thought Adelinde would prepare it for us?” he questioned it.
“Ah, no,” Kaeya shook his head. “All the maids had been moved to a safer place under the command of the Acting Grand Master.”
“What?” Diluc was sure his face looked ridiculous asking Kaeya back. Did Jean leave him alone with Kaeya? While protecting the others? “She left you to stop me, knowing fully what's happening to me.”
“Well, I'm pretty capable, aren't I?”
“I almost killed you once, Kaeya,” he reasoned with the man. His voice was near a growl.
'And you can actually kill him this time,' the delusion answered him.
“Fuck off, ” he swore, and the thing snickered back.
He fell to notice Kaeya was still sitting there. Diluc tried to voice out his apologies, but Kaeya feigned ignorance. “Ah such hard language, Master Diluc.”
The knight turned his back on him, his hand on the doorknob.
“You didn't need to tell me twice.”
The door shut with the knight walking away. Diluc was left alone in his room.
His eyes followed the knight, unable to refute. His legs dared not to go after Kaeya, so he was struck at the bed once again.
When he came to it again, the smell of Pile 'Em Up was the first thing he recognized. It was placed on the lap desk along with other utensils.
The one, who cooked it for him, was back at his desk, calmly doing his paperwork. On the knight's side was a plate of Mushroom Skewers.
He said a quiet thank you before picking up a fork and a knife.
They ate in silence. No one said anything as time went on. It was awkward without Kaeya's teasing, but considering his previous actions, Diluc couldn't rebut it.
He tried to focus on eating instead.
As the knife sliced through the meat, he thought of his journey on the foreign land, and how it made him eat snow to survive.
The fact that Diluc was born in a rich household was a miracle.
Starvation was something unfamiliar to him since he was young. Mondstadt was a kind city. If a person was starving, anyone would be willing to help.
The first time he saw Kaeya as a scrawny kid, it struck him as an outlier. A small child held his father's hand while his arms and legs were bones.
“That reminds me of something,” he blurted out. An image of the dark man overlapped with Kaeya; they did look similar. “There was another man other than father who seemed to be able to see me.”
“Hmm, is that so?” Kaeya didn't lift from his papers. He might have angered Kaeya for real.
“Yeah, he was a dark man with golden eyes,” he continued not knowing the pen stopped. Kaeya stilled as his face paled. “There were stars inside them. Those eyes looked like they were able to shine in the dark.”
The papers fall down, and Diluc stopped. Kaeya was on the floor, gathering all the paper. His shoulder was shaking while his mouth was mumbling in an unknown language.
It was a long time since he had seen Kaeya panicked like that.
The last time he saw something like this was when Kaeya first came to the estate, and it was raining.
“Kaeya,” he stood up. 'Don't,' the delusion commanded, but all he could think of was the man shivering on the floor. All the whispers and voices were out of his mind.
He placed the hand on Kaeya's shoulder as the starry eye snapped at him.
Darkness shadowed Kaeya's lone eye. Several emotions flew through it. Kaeya was looking at him, but not actually. It was a blank eye.
“The man was supposed to be dead, Diluc. He was supposed to be buried grounds deep,” the knight's hands trembled uncontrollably as those hands held him for support. All of the temperatures escaped Kaeya, making the knight colder than Dragonspine. The pyro inside him tried to warm them both.
The habit of biting his nails came back. Kaeya was biting his nails. Blood started gushing out the wounds.
Diluc tried to stop the knight, holding the arm still. Kaeya mumbled, “Hahaha, how interesting.”
“Who is he, Kaeya? Tell me,” he pleaded as Kaeya wasn't focusing on him.
The knight smiled. It was a forced smile. He spoke, “My father, Diluc. My damn father.”