Chapter Text
Shanks stared out into the vast ocean numb, his hand clenched tight around the jug of sake that he had hoped would make him feel something but he hadn’t felt anything beyond grief and anger for so long now. Copper tinged the air, the smell of blood permanently saturated the air of the Red Force, a constant reminder.
Red sails dyed with the blood of those who wronged him people say now, if you cross the beast then your soul and blood may be taken in recompense, to feed the power of its mourning monster of a Captain.
Shanks didn’t care about the tales they told of him now, those under his protection knew what had happened, and those under his command did as well, many understood. No longer did he throw parties, what was there to celebrate anyway when your son was dead? Nothing.
The last few months were a blur of grief and righteous fury, long nights locked away in their cabin drinking and staring at the photo or listening to the tone dial, all that was left of his son, his Anchor… his little Prince. The cheerful ‘Love you Dad!’ and his son's laugh haunted Shanks in every waking moment, his screams haunted him in his unconscious ones.
When he wasn’t hunting all who were responsible for Luffy’s death, he was hunting for any information, following every lead he could find for his son's fruit. It couldn’t be left for the Marines to find, no one deserved that fruit if his son couldn’t have it. No one.
Buggy was doing all he could, Ace and Sabo taking down the bastard who sold the information to the Marines in the first place. That night was a night that Shanks drank himself to oblivion with Beckman, the crew staying far away from the uninhabited island in the calm belt as his Haki tore through earth and rock, sea and wind… leaving nothing left in its wake. What was left, didn’t last long, not with Beckman’s rage.
“Captain,” Beckman’s voice called softly, causing Shanks to look away from the pitch-black maw of the ocean and to his husband.
“Beck? What is it?” He asked softly.
Beckman stepped closer, hand coming up to cup at Shanks’ cheek, thumb brushing the tear away gently. “Sabo is on the Den Den for you, love.”
Closing his eyes, Shanks allowed a moment, just a brief moment of comfort from his husband before heading to their cabin where the snail would be waiting, his heart lodging in his throat. Sabo rarely called, only if there was information and since he and Ace had dealt with that bastard of a traitor, all of his leads so far grew cold.
“Sabo?” Shanks tried to put emotion in his voice for his nephew, but couldn’t.
‘Uncle… I have some news.’ Sabo’s voice was hesitant and Shanks couldn’t help but straighten at the tone. Of all the brothers, besides Luffy, Sabo was the least hesitant on anything. Cautious, yes, but hesitant? Never.
“What is it?” He asked eyes flickering to Benn who was leaning forward, silver eyes glinting in the lantern light.
‘I received a call yesterday from Ace. I’m sure you know what has happened?’ Sabo asked slowly, stopping completely as a growl tore from Shanks’ throat at the reminder.
He had warned the old man years ago about Teach but was always brushed aside, even with the wounds still fresh on his face the Old Man still ignored him. It’s just a rivalry, he didn’t mean anything by it… Newgate always replied when Roger or Rayleigh brought it up themselves, never listening beyond what they were really saying.
Blackbeard was a killer, heart cold as the ice it was chipped away from and a snake. Newgate sees that now but nearly at the cost of another son's life. He screamed into the ocean when Marco had rung him and told him that Ace had gone off in search of him, his hand nearly shattering the poor snail in fury.
“I am aware.” Shanks managed to get out through gritted teeth and a harsh swallow.
‘Well, Ace followed a trail to an island but it was a dead end… he found a bounty though and… it’s King Tamer’s bounty, 200,000,000 Berri.’ Sabo explained and both Shanks and Benn’s eyes snapped up before they were tearing out of their cabin and towards their communication centre.
The room was a mess, Gab struggling to keep up with organisation with how much information filtered through here thanks to Sabo, Ace and Buggy, sometimes even Garp and their own network. The bounties always were the ones that slipped through everyone’s mind.
“Found it!” Beckman grinned, though it quickly fell, hands beginning to shake as he stared at the bounty before him.
Shanks didn’t hesitate before moving to his husband’s side, the snail nearly dropping from his hand as he took in the image of King Tamer. It was shot from a distance and blurry, but you could clearly see someone sitting atop of a Sea King with a crown of straw. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was red he would have demanded to return to the East, to make sure that no one had desecrated his son’s grave.
They… they found him, the man, the person that they owed everything to because it was because of them that they had their son's voice immortalised.
“You found him?” Benn managed to get out, his words thick.
‘Not exactly, he’s hard to find… he’s young… Koala came across him after he liberated a slave ship, barely spoke but made sure that she would take care of those on the ship, and ensure their freedom. He was only there to rescue friends, Nakama he called them. They called him Mugiwara.” Sabo explained with a sigh.
Straw Hat how fitting.
“If you find anything else, don’t hesitate to call us Sabo, no matter the time,” Shanks replied seriously, desperation in his voice.
‘I won't. I’ll see you on the fifth Uncle. Ace will be there as well. Neither of us would miss the celebration of… of Luffy’s seventeenth…’ Sabo trailed off a hitch in his throat, one that echoed them both.
It would be Luffy’s birthday soon, very soon and the day he would have turned Seventeen and started his adventure to become King of the Pirates. All of them had decided to meet up somewhere within the New World to celebrate it, to the ‘what could have been’s’. The reminder ached something fierce.
“See you then Sabo,” Shanks replied before disconnecting the call, his eyes turning to Beck. “We need to tell Blue and the men, finally, we have a lead to pay off the debt.”
Benn nodded, resting his forehead against Shanks’ crown. “Tomorrow, for now, you need to rest Love. Come join me, I’ll stay awake to keep the nightmares at bay.”
“Alright, alright…” Shanks sighed, following his husband out the door and back to their cabin. Tomorrow, everything can wait till tomorrow.
XX
The day of Luffy’s birthday was a sober affair, all that knew him wore black with patches of yellow and red, their Anchors colours in both mourning and celebration. Those newer to his crew didn’t understand, and stood apart while they sat around the table on the main deck, tears in their eyes and drinks in their hands, not one of them saying a word.
It didn’t take long for Sabo to find them, to join them, dropping from the sky and landing with a solid thump on the deck, legs bending to take the blow and hand clutching the top of his top hat firmly.
“Ace not with you?” Shanks asked with a frown.
Sabo blinked and gazed around in worry. “He didn’t meet me at our intended meeting point. I tried to call but it went unanswered, I thought he was here with you?”
Fear churned in Shanks’ chest as he sat up, eyes flickering to Beckman who had pulled out the snail and dialled Firecracker over and over, each time a little more desperately. In the end, he had given up, Sabo taking over the task on his own Den Den while they called Marco personally.
His reply had only garnered them even more worry, they hadn’t heard from Ace in over a week. They only knew that he was okay because of his Virve card, still whole and not even a hint of singeing around the edges.
“This… this isn’t like him,” Sabo whispered. “Ace wouldn’t have forgotten Luffy’s birthday, he swore to be here. He told me after the memorial that he renewed his oath to never not celebrate Luffy’s birthday because LuLu deserved to be celebrated.”
Shanks pulled his nephew into a hug, “he’ll be okay, perhaps he’s too far to join us. If he swore, he wouldn’t forget… for now, let's celebrate Anchor and tomorrow we can both start our searches for Firecracker.”
“Okay.” Sabo nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before putting on a smile. It was forced and a little fake, but still genuine in the way it softened when they raised their drinks high and wished Luffy a happy birthday.
The day and night passed with all of them drunk off their ass and reminiscing. Sabo told stories that Shanks never got to hear and in return, he told stories that Ace and Luffy told of their adventures after Sabo had vanished.
“He would have made it.” Shanks whispered, stilling the air and reminiscing, all eyes cutting to him but his gaze was locked on the image he carried with him always. “To Laugh Tale, it was his destiny… he would have made it to the very end and discovered everything my captain did. He would have loved it… and now… now that’s no longer possible…”
Nothing else was said after that, what more was there to say?
In the morning he bid farewell to Sabo, promising to keep an eye out for Ace, that he would look in every corner of his territories for him and any news of Teach he could. He couldn’t lose another member of his family, he’s pretty sure his mind wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Nor would the world.
XX
Weeks, months really since his son's birthday and those days since then had been dark. No matter how hard they looked, they couldn’t find Firecracker. They followed every trail and lead that Sabo and Gab could find, only to be told that Ace had been seen a week before. It wasn’t just that either, their hunt for King Tamer had died off, there were no sightings of him at all and even the Marines couldn’t find him. Buggy couldn’t even find a whisper of him.
They were back to square one all over again.
What made it worse was the kid that Buggy had come across, a kid with dark pitch coloured hair and a wide smile who fought with the same ability as his son. The fruit had been found and consumed by a stranger, his brother swearing that he’ll get it, if it’s the last thing he ever did for Shanks. Though the red-haired man didn’t know if he could condone the killing of a child, another son for a father to mourn like he? Could he curse someone else with this agony just to be selfish and acquire the last thing he had of his son?
Shanks couldn’t take this agony for much longer, his mind a broken ruin of a thing, his heart broken just as bad. Everywhere he looked he could see and hear Luffy, it had gotten to the point that he could no longer leave the ship if they had to restock. Every child's laugh sent him spiralling, one occasion Shanks had nearly torn a town apart thinking he could hear his son…
After that he barely spent a day sober, his husband, his first mate doing all he could to try and keep him sane, to keep him here and not in his head in the memories of long past. Shanks was filled with guilt, the 'what ifs' taunting him louder and louder as the days went on.
A sob lodged into his chest as he sat on the railing of the Red Force, the crew fleeing to the island to escape him and the Haki that he could barely contain to him. He had sent Beck along with them, begging that he needed to be alone, that he would be fine and he just needed to drink himself to slumber before trying to put himself back together again. They’d be back mid-morning, Shanks had till then to let the grief consume him.
Bottle after bottle stacked up on the deck around him, many of them falling into the ocean uncaringly as he gazed out into the pitch. The desire to step off, to sink into its embrace was overwhelming nearly but he resisted. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, leave Beck by himself… he wouldn’t do that to the love of his life no matter how hollow he felt.
“Dad shouldn’t be alone, Dad should be on shore with the crew.” His son’s voice shattered the silence, breaking the rhythmic lap of the waves on the side of the ship and causing him to spin around, wobbling slightly as he did so.
He rubbed his eyes as he took in the hallucination before him. There, his son stood, red hair glinting in the moonlight, straw hat… his straw hat prominent on his head.
“Anchor…” Shanks choked out around the lump in his throat as he turned away, it was hard, but then again it always was when he got this drunk and he saw his son before him. He had learnt the hard way that he was never there and had long since given up trying to reach out, to pull him into his arms. “They’re better off without me there… I’d just bring them down.”
“That’s not the Shanks I know and remember.” Luffy voiced, his footsteps light as he moved to sit on the railing.
Shanks refused to look, his body screaming to reach out and steady his son, to pull him close so he wouldn’t fall into the depths if the waves decided to pick up and knock him off. But the last he did that, he was on a bender for a week and Beckman had worried himself sick as he nearly poisoned himself to death. He closed his eyes and reached out with his Haki, flinching as he felt nothing there.
“The Shanks I remember would be with them, laughing and drinking, not here alone and sad,” Luffy stated with a frown, sparking a fissure of anger.
“Well, the Shanks you know is dead. The Shanks you knew died the day that Garp told me my son was dead!” he snarled furious, turning away from his kid and leaping down from the railing. His drink was out, and he desperately needed another, it seemed he couldn’t keep his promise to Beckman after all though.
There was a choked off whine behind him. “Papai…”
“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Shanks roared as he spun around, Haki flaring wild in his fury, chest heaving as he stared at the illusion. His fury began to dwindle as the illusion flinched back and no matter what, illusion or real, it ached to see his son terrified of him.
A sob tore from Shanks’ throat, legs giving out from under him and sending him crashing to the floor. He brought his legs up and buried his face into his knees, arm coming up to clench tight in his hair, tugging painfully. “My son is d-dead! I am a father no l—longer. He’ll never call me Papai again.”
In the next moment, there was a hand on his wrist, startling him badly. His head shot up, eyes wide as he took in the illusion crouched before him. His heart hammered loudly in his ears and chest as his gaze dropped from those sad dark eyes framed by crimson hair to the hand wrapped around his wrist.
He turned his hand, breaking the hold and reaching up towards the illusions face with shaking fingers. His hand met warm flesh, damp still but real. His thumb brushed over the familiar scar under his son's eye, feeling the raised edges, a frown pulling as his fingers swept over something new. When he pulled his hand back he could see raised pink skin of a burn.
Everything rushed back as he sobered up, his eyes locked on his son before him, taking note of everything that shouldn’t be there as every Luffy in his mind was either a child or blemish free as he should be, covered in leaves and smudges of dirt. This Luffy was covered in bruises and new but old scars, ratty bandages that would need to be changed soon, his eyes though sad, sparkled.
“A–Anchor?” Shanks asked brokenly, trying to fight the hope that was flaring in his chest that this was real. “Are… Are you real?”
Thundering footsteps caught his attention, his Haki blaring in a protective swirl for the threat only to reel it back when Beckman’s ashen face came into view, his eyes wide and fearful as he searched the ship only stagger to a stop as his eyes landed on them. Hand coming up to cover his mouth in a muffled sob causing Shanks to snap his gaze back to the illusion – not illusion – before him with hope… If Beck could see him too, then…
Luffy brought his dad’s hand up to his face once more, nuzzling it like he did when he was a kid. “I am Papai, I promise… I swear…”
“How…” Shanks choked out as he stumbled forward on his knees and pulled his son into a hug, squeezing tightly, sobs wracking his frame. “No, I don’t care how… just that you're here… I thought you were dead Anchor, I’m so thankful you’re not… that you’re okay.”
Sobs left Luffy’s lips as he buried his head into Shanks’ neck, knocking Beckman from his frozen position and causing him to rush over and drop to his knees, clutching them both tight in his arms, thanking the seas that Luffy was back.
“I’ve missed you so much Mamãe, Papai… so much… I was so scared, so ashamed I lost Hat and broke our promise… but King saved me and Tio Kuri and Cora healed me… When Sabo and Ace told me that… when they couldn’t reach you… I was so worried… the ocean said you were so close to joining her waters… I had to come… I had to… forgive me please!” Luffy sobbed violently in their hold, breaking their hearts.
“Of course we forgive you, Anchor, we’re so happy you're alive…” Shanks choked out. “I never thought I would see you again, to hug you and tell you how much I love you, how proud I am of you.”
“Sea’s kid, we’re both so glad you’re alive.” Beckman choked out, his tears seeping into his son's red curls.
Both of them held their kid close, moving to the hammock and squishing Luffy between them when the night grew longer, and his sobs turned into soft snores. Both thanked every deity they knew and the ocean for bringing their blessing back to them. Tomorrow they would discuss more, tomorrow they would find out how Luffy had gotten to them and everything else, but for now, now they just enjoyed holding their son, both of their hands resting over his chest and heart, letting the beat lull them to sleep.