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Chapter Text

Rei is new to the class. It is not the first time she has been in a new setting that she has had to fit into. She has tried new club activities in the past. It's not even the first time she's changed schools. Is the new girl. Therefore, it can't be that damn hard to eat lunch on her first day. And yet. The thought of eating all alone in the classroom while her new classmates share bentos and talk about what they did over the summer holidays, like the friends they've been for years and the possibility that they might make fun of the weird new girl sitting quietly in the corner spoils her appetite.

It's not like Rei can just easily walk up to them, engage them in a conversation or even make them laugh. Rei is not interesting. Rei isn't funny either. Rei is just new, and the fact that no one has approached her yet only emphasises that even that makes her uninteresting, unremarkable, indeed, undeserving of being talked to.

But these thoughts are mean. Her new class has known each other since the last school year, some no doubt still from middle school. They have groups and the same interests and Rei - well, she's new.

It's also not the first time Rei has eaten lunch alone.

She leaves the classroom at break time. Disappears into one of the crowded toilets. Girls stand in front of the mirrors touching up their make-up while others chat in the corridor, waiting for the stalls to become free. Rei backs out almost immediately.

The school has a beautiful courtyard where a few students sit on the benches reading while others talk in large groups. There seem to be more groups than lonely losers. Some of the clubrooms are jam-packed at break time. Rei feels like escaping the building. Standing in front of the school, one can watch the nearby canal. Instead, she makes her way to the roof.

It is more crowded here than Rei expects, apparently it is allowed to be up here during the break. The flat roof is enclosed by a large fence and lined with a few benches, there are even some raised beds in one corner where vegetables are planted, with a handful of students just repotting something.

Rei approaches a bench a little away from the small groups. Her fingers intertwine with the lattice of the fence as she gazes breathlessly at the city skyline for a moment. Cars speed by and the autumn wind brushes Rei, puffing up her clothes and hair. Rei feels happy. A multitude of metres below her, the water of the river glistens.

"Hey."

Rei literally jumps when a voice speaks right next to her and turns around. A girl stands behind her and is about to step closer to the fence. She smiles brightly. Rei dares a quick glance over her shoulder to see if another person has crept up to her and the girl is talking to them, but no. It's just Rei and the stranger.

Her face is striking. She doesn't seem to be purely Japanese, instead she seems to have some form of foreign roots. The girl also looks far too pretty to be completely alone and friendless, like Rei. She was just talking to a small group of girls, recalls Rei vaguely.

The stranger extends her hand.

"You're new in 2B, right? It was Hikawa-san, wasn't it?" her tone is friendly, but she has a special way of emphasising things. Her voice is soft and yet Rei pays the utmost attention to every word. "My name is Kusunoki Muu."

"Hikawa Rei," Rei murmurs out of reflex, shaking her hand, and the girl - Muu - laughs again, this time clearly at her. Rei wonders if she's about to be the victim of a prank.

"I know, silly!" says Muu then, but for some reason it doesn't sting and her tone is anything but mean. "What are you doing up here?"

She seems genuinely interested in her answer and doesn't take her eyes off her once. Rei swallows and searches for an answer that doesn't sound too pathetic, like the truth.

"I was curious about the view from so high up," she says, "I- I enjoy it? What are you doing here?"

Muu's eyes twinkle with interest as she examines her from top to bottom. "I'm enjoying the view too."

She smiles again. Rei realises she's wearing a cute pink lip gloss.

"What do you like to see the most?" she asks shyly. She didn't expect to make small talk today.

The question seems to have caught the girl off guard. She averts her gaze ponderously from Rei, which relieves her, and looks at the view as if seeing it for the first time.

"Birds," Muu says at last, and it sounds more like a decision. She reaches out and clasps the fence with her fingers, then leans playfully back as she puts her neck down and turns her attention first to the sun and then to Rei. She has beautiful eyes. A mixture of green and blue.

Rei nods slowly, nervously under Muu's gaze. "I think I even saw seagulls on the way there?" she tries to keep the conversation going.

It amuses Muu for some reason, because she giggles into her hand. It is elegant, adorable and seems so perfect, like it is practised. Rei feels herself blush as Muu appears to laugh at her. She wants to leave.

"Many people think seagulls are solitary," Muu says. "But that's not true, they're actually quite similar to us and argue loudly all day long as if they can't stand each other, but deep down they know they need one another. Especially when a predator threatens them." Muu chuckles into her hand again, having completely stunned Rei with this knowledge. "But there are certainly some strange loners among the gulls of the canal. After all, they must be kind of weird, don't you think? If they live here and not on the coast."

Rei can only make a humming, half-agreeing noise. Muu doesn't seem to mind, because she explains cheerfully, "I, on the other hand, like watching the migratory birds. It's rare to see them. You have to be lucky. But enough of that! It's unusual to change schools so late in the school year. Where did you go before, Hikawa-san?"

And so they begin a very ordinary conversation. Rei quickly notices that Muu always expresses herself in a chosen way, but that doesn't make it weird. She laughs in just the right places and asks exactly the questions that help Rei continue the talk despite her own nervousness. Ten minutes go by like this and Rei... she feels good. Talking to Muu feels good.

"Muu-chan!" one of the girls in the small group calls out. "Where are you!"

Muu gives the classmate a look Rei can't quite place and puts on a smile that looks almost apologetic. She tilts her head and her hand plays with a strand of her strawberry blonde hair. "I'm afraid duty calls me. But you can come with me, Hikawa. I'll introduce you to the others!"

Rei swallows audibly at this offer and gives the group of girls a quick glance. They are watching her with interest, well, probably only Muu, more likely. They seem nice, but the thought of being introduced to so many people right away, of trying to fit into this group - it gives Rei a queasy feeling.

It must have shown on her face, because Muu makes an understanding noise, which almost sounds like an "Ah".

"I should have guessed," she then says, casually pointing her index finger upwards towards the sky. "Seagulls."

Before she leaves, she smiles at Rei with the sort of smile as if she were sharing a secret and winks. Rei finds herself returning the smile.

Chapter Text

It's astonishingly easy to go to school day after day now. Rei's class is unbelievably nice. Something that makes Rei suspicious at the beginning. She waits the first days and weeks for the big bang, for the proof that it will be the same at a private school as it was at her old one, which was public. Of course there is competition. Of course there is pressure. But her classmates? They seem incredibly friendly because they don't do anything. Maybe that was the advantage of attending an all-girls school? Even before... it happened and things got worse, there were sometimes fights among the boys because although dating was of course strictly forbidden, things were always a bit tense between boys and girls - and the boys among themselves. And later it became unbearable.

But Rei doesn't want to think about that. Cheers to new beginnings, or some shit like that, as they say. After all, she has promised herself to do better this time.

At first, it's just Muu talking to her during some breaks. She chooses her to be on her team in sports and greets her when they meet in the corridor in the morning. It's nice to have someone like that, although Rei wouldn't go so far as to say they're friends. No. Muu is just very friendly. No wonder her friends appreciate her. She is pretty, performs well in class and almost sweet.

Muu's friends are all pretty. Sometimes Rei hears them making plans for the upcoming weekend or spontaneously making a date for karaoke. They all especially want to do something with Muu, and from the little kindnesses Muu shows Rei, they also seem to treat her with a smile. Ai has even voluntarily involved Rei in a group work.

There are also a few girls in her class and the parallel class who don't seem to like Muu. Rei believes that most of it stems from jealousy. Muu's family is rich and she is liked by teachers and students. It is hard not to envy her in some way.

It stings Rei a little that she hasn't been able to spend a real moment alone with Muu since that rooftop conversation. But it's fair, of course. Muu has only been kind and she has enough friends. Rei has no right to hope for more.

Instead, a girl, Yashida Sayuri, begins to sit next to her one day. While Rei always eats somewhat quietly with a friendly group in the classroom during lunch break, she has seen Sayuri reading alone from time to time, only rarely integrating herself into the group. Rei understands this very well. So it is not too difficult for her to have a conversation with the girl. Although she is mostly silent in class, she is friendly and helpful. Rei notices that they have a similar way of going to school and Sayuri lends her a book one day that she thinks Rei would like and then - they are suddenly good friends.

She calls her Rei-chan and they arrange to study together. Rei sometimes shares her bento with her and Sayuri sends the funniest stickers when they text each other on Line. Everyday school life - it's nice, with a good friend and Rei feels- She almost feels like someone knows her, can understand her. Almost.

She would love to let the things, that give her trouble sleeping at night go. She would love to just stop being so cautious and maybe share a little bit of her life with her new friend. She would love to. But Rei just isn’t there yet.

As time passes, autumn arrives and one afternoon Rei is certain that this is to be the last, of the few warm days that mark the dying of summer. She has stayed a little longer than everyone else today. Her concentration is poor at home. Her parents argue too much these days.

So she usually stays in the classroom and does homework. The school is not empty after lessons as most stay for club activities, but Rei hasn't been able to get excited about any of them yet and doubts she will soon.

Today she doesn't stop working until dusk and then heads out.

There is a pleasant peace in the school building, a silence that is broken at its edges by the low murmur that comes from some of the club rooms. Rice footsteps echo down the corridor, an endless clicking beat. Like clockwork. Or a heartbeat.

Rei almost flinches as she leaves the building and someone stands outside the school all alone, as if they were just waiting for her.

"Hello," Muu says, her eyes looking like pools of liquid gold in the dim light.

"Kusunoki-san," Rei says, her voice containing her confusion. "You're still here this late? Are you part of one of the clubs?"

"You and Yashida have become really good friends," Muu says, as if she hadn't even heard what Rei just said. Then she pushes her lower lip forward and whines, "You don't even care about poor Muu anymore..."

"Oh..." Rei stands speechless. A huge hole spreads in the pit of her stomach. It must be her fault, what she feels, because suddenly she can only swallow audibly. It had been... it had not been her intention, but maybe Muu was right? Rei never took the initiative. All the acts of kindness Muu showed her - it happened without Rei's action. Never as a reciprocation, always as an offer. An offer that was never taken up.

Muu's eyes shine suspiciously, her lower lip trembles and then... then her mouth twists into a grin. Cheeky, like that of a little girl. It's hard to be angry with a grin like that. "I'm just teasing you!" Her laugh sounds like the bright tinkling of a thousand tiny bells. "You're so gullible, Rei-chan~"

"I'm-I'm not!" protests Rei, but she doesn't feel angry. Her protest only seems to amuse Muu more. Something warm spreads through Rei's stomach area. Muu's joy is almost contagious.

She also admits that she might have fallen for it a little easily and says something about Muu having such a straight face when she lies.

"Still," Muu says after a while where it went back and forth between them. A trace of seriousness underlined by drive creeps into her voice. "We should definitely do something together!"

She tosses her hair back and looks at Rei intently, as if waiting for a specific signal. Rei catches herself smiling, The thought of doing something with Muu, anything, is a thing she has seriously wished for every now and then when her mind drifts. It's funny, but something about her....

"Sure," Rei says, before she can get to the bottom of it any further. "When... when do you have the time?"

Muus leans her shoulders back, her entire posture and face suddenly radiating contentment. She takes a slow, prancing step towards Rei. It's menacing in a plain way, and somehow this tiny movement makes her take up almost the entire space of the schoolyard. She is like an actress entering the stage and Rei- well, Rei is her spellbound audience. "I am free now. Let's go to the rooftop. I love watching the sunset from there."

Muu was right about that: Behind the thousands and thousands of rooftops of the city, the sun sets, painting the clouds and sky in shades of red, pink and orange. The view is so much more breathtaking than at noon.

Rei takes a moment to tear herself away from the sight and thus notices quite late that Muu is watching her. A smile graces her lips. It is a little triumphant, but it also carries another connotation that Rei cannot grasp.

She catches herself just holding eye contact with her classmate for a moment. Then a particularly strong gust of wind blows Rei's hair in front of her face and she tries with increasing desperation to stop it, while Muu laughs heartily at it until the wind blows a strand of her own hair into her mouth.

Rei makes the quick decision to drag Muu by the wrist with her near the door leading up to the roof. In the shade of the part of the building, it is almost breeze-free.

Muu fixes her hair in one swift movement. She manages it frustratingly easily. Rei finds herself putting her scarf on a little closer and rubbing her fingers together. The sudden cold seems to bother her companion little.

Rei is surprised by it. Muu seems almost like the personification of summer. And here it was dying at her feet and she didn't seem to mind.

"I'm going to miss the warm sunny days," Rei says as her classmate intertwines her fingers with the cold metal rail of the fence and doesn't even flinch. Muu has turned away. Her silhouette stands still in the dusk as she gazes like a statue at the city below.

"Don't be silly! After all, the sun stays even in the winter months, it doesn't wander off like some birds," Muu says more to the city than to her. "It's obvious, Rei! And besides that." She turns and smiles broadly, then Rei sees her too. Two seagulls make their way over the horizon.

"You see more of them in winter," Rei comments, and Muu nods in delight as she averts her gaze again to watch the gulls.

"Do you think they're friends?" asks Muu casually, and Rei shrugs, though Muu can't see it.

"I don't think birds make friends."

Muu emits a disapproving sound. "Maybe only one of them thinks so. And the other seagull enjoys their company."

Rei frowns. That almost sounded like Muu wasn't talking about seagulls. And to that, she sounded... almost hurt.

"Maybe they are friends," she concedes. "Yes, certainly. They watch the sunset in a shared sightseeing flight. They... um... they hunt together..."

"They take shits down on the city with no one to stop them."

Rei has to laugh at that. It is so unexpected to hear Muu speak crudely. She laughs as well.

It goes on like this for a while. Muu starts a game of pointing at houses and telling a story about their respective inhabitants. She does it a few times and seems pleased when Rei hesitantly tells a story of her own about a rather nondescript house.

By now the sun has set completely and only the afterglow keeps nightfall away.

Just before they finally make their way off the roof, Muu interrupts their conversation about how to make perfect hot chocolate and gives Rei a quizzical look.

"One thing still bugs me though, Rei. Muu-chan gets people asking her to do something with them all day. But you. You haven't asked once. Why?"

Rei stares a little at the answer.

"Well, you could have asked me," she points out defensively to Muu.

Muu looks at her as if the mere thought is the strangest thing she's ever heard. She even shakes her head a little in irritation, a movement so minimal that it must be something subconscious.

"You're so weird," Muu says when she's regained her composure, and it stings briefly, but then Muu smiles almost gently. "But I like it. It's a good weird, Rei-chan." Then she holds out her hand in invitation. "Still. I'll give you my number for now, so you can ask me for a meet-up soon then!"

Rei stares at her phone at night time. The light from the screen is the only thing that illuminates her room. The flat is finally quiet, which means her parents must have gone to bed.

The contact details of Kusunoki Muu light up before Rei's eyes.

Rei sighs and closes the tab. Without thinking much, she opens the social media app. Immediately, a few posts from people Rei barely knows pop up. She only has to scroll briefly through the photos of people whose faces look vaguely familiar until she finds the picture of someone she actually knows.

Inori.

Rei has to smile. Her friend had posted a cute group picture on her account. None of the other girls evoke any form of recognition, Rei concludes that they must be Inori's new classmates. The group looks nice. And Inori's smile is genuine. Rei had seen her smile often enough when she wasn't.

Rei likes the post and briefly considers writing Inori a message. She even opens the contact list, but then pauses.

It was for the best, Rei keeps thinking and believing. It was for the best that Inori changed schools after only the first term. Rei would have done the same if she had had the chance back then. If she could turn back time, she wouldn't have returned after the summer holidays, it would have saved her some trouble.

Still. Sometimes she couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of resentment. Not now, of course, when things were better. But back then- Back then…

I was all alone. Rei shook her head in annoyance. She's happy for Inori, of course. She'll get back to her tomorrow after there's been radio silence between them for a while, she decides as her eyes wander over Inori's number. Before she switches off her phone, she lingers once more on Muu's contact. A strange feeling suddenly comes over her. It is not unpleasant, but almost makes her smile. Inori is in a much better place now, judging by the photo. And who knows? Maybe Rei will be too. Very soon.

Chapter Text

"Can I ask you something?", Sayuri finally spits it out at cleaning time the next afternoon after acting weird all day. It irritated Rei greatly, but she had to be blamed for not daring to ask her friend about it either. They just weren't that close yet. Now, however, Sayuri finally seems to be coming clean, so Rei stops wiping her side of the board and nods.

Sayuri looks at her with a strange expression. Under her hand rests a cloth that has already wiped away half of a heart drawn in pink chalk. Rei's classmate takes a shaky breath, then pauses and glances over her shoulder at the rest of the classroom. Rei does the same. No one else is with them, the others in their group are probably tidying the blackboards and sweeping the floors in the other classrooms in this corridor, and the group tidying the rubbish bins has already passed by. They look at each other again simultaneously, but Sayuri's voice is still quiet as she speaks.

"There's a rumour about you," she says, looking worried.

Water runs over Rei's hands. She breaks eye contact with Sayuri and discovers that she has unconsciously squeezed the cloth a little too tightly. Rei frowns.

"A rumour?" she probes, and Sayuri suddenly looks so guilty that Rei fears she won't get an answer. She begins to wipe away the rest of the heart and avoids Rei's gaze. "What's it about? That... That wasn't a question?"

Sayuri prances uncomfortably from one foot to the other, still wiping the now blank spot on the board clean.

Rei drops the cloth completely as a queasy feeling rises in her and the memories she had been trying to suppress come up.

A glass vase with chrysanthemums were placed on Inori's table. One of the boys pulled her hair. Rei wanted to scream when the teacher made fun of Inori, because after all, she'd had it rough, hadn't she? Rei wanted to scream, but she couldn't. She couldn't. She had to keep her head down. Rei stood in the classroom, completely invisible. What had she done wrong?

She stood in the bathroom with Inori, trying to help her wash the stains of the soft drink from her uniform while her friend tried not to cry. Rei's sleeve caught the water tap, but she didn't care. It would dry. So would the stains Inori left on her shoulder, which Rei tried to politely ignore.

Rei stared at the note someone had left in her drawer and the empty space where a pair of street shoes should have been. When she glanced over the shelves at the other students, no one shared a grin. Instead, they were all whispering. Behind closed doors.

The next morning...

"Sorry!" Sayuri interrupts her thoughts. "I know it's stupid and childish to immediately believe everything you hear! So I thought I'd ask you, Rei-chan, but..."

"What did you hear?" asks Rei. Sayuri's rag quietly drips water onto the floor as she bites her lip.

"Rumour has it that you went to a public school before?" Her eyes widen as if she's said something terrible and she slaps her hand over her mouth before waving her hands (and the rag) around placatingly. Small drops splatter here and there, but Sayuri is too busy apologising. "Not that there's anything wrong with that! It's just... Well, everyone's wondering why you changed schools so late! I'm so sorry, Rei!"

"It's... it's fine. Please don't apologise, Sayuri," Rei says calmly, but her mind is racing. She absolutely must keep a cool head. Sayuri was nice, but this moment could be decisive. A friendly smile is on her face, at least as best she can manage. "I realise this must arouse curiosity, but I'm afraid my story isn't that exciting. My father took another job at short notice and we had to move because of it. The way to my former school was just so far away, and this school was much closer."

Sayuri listened attentively and when Rei finished, a relieved smile graced her lips. Rei hopes that her white lie will quickly find its way into the rumour mill.

Rei stares at her contact list again. She couldn't get the conversation with Sayuri out of her head for the rest of the evening, because she'd finally remembered who she'd told about the school she'd recently gone to.

It should be all right now. Rei had come up with a white lie and it had at least been convincing enough to win Sayuri over.

Actually, she didn't need to worry too much about it either. Muu is without doubt one of the most popular girls at school. Her classmates or her group of friends probably only asked her harmless questions about Rei and it wasn't Muu's fault that Rei had blurted out the truth on her first day.

Should the others know that she might have gone to a public school, so what? It wasn't as if Rei had told Muu the reason why she really switched. Why Inori could barely finish the former school year there- But no. Rei wouldn't have been that flaky. After all, her parents and the school administration have made it very clear to her that this is her chance to do better.

Her insides tighten at the mere thought. It wasn't her fault... But she would still do better in the sense that she would continue to remain inconspicuous. Blending in with the crowd.

Well, Sayuri certainly isn't the problem in her equation.

She opens Muu's contact just to try it out, how easy it would be to send her a text or call her. Just for the sense of curiosity. Then she stares at it until the screen goes black.

If she wants to stay inconspicuous, indeed, on the safe side, then a friendship with a girl as popular as Muu would certainly not be a good idea. 

Some things are much easier said than done.

Well, it really is mostly Reis's fault.

While it's true that Muu kind of made her an offer by giving Rei her number, Muu isn't the one out of the two of them to chase after a tiny sign of friendship.

So Rei decided not to take her up on it. The thought hurts her at first as she remembers Muu's little act and how hurt she sounded that Rei had never tried to reach out to her. But then she recollects herself, because after all, that's what it was, wasn't it? An act. If Muu had meant it seriously, she would have said it more clearly, Rei is sure of that.

Everyday school life only confirms this. Muu's life seems strangely stressful to Rei. She is constantly surrounded by a whole group of girls. And from the little bits of her that Rei has got to know, Muu is a very caring person.

When Rei watches her at lunchtime or on the way home, she is always talking. Attentive and laughing and deeply concerned about whatever her friends might tell her. Muu was so warm, so understanding, so vulnerable. But no, it wouldn't help Rei if she worried about Muu. In the end, Rei's new class is friendly and Muu is in no danger.

Her classmates are nice to Rei and Sayuri. Rei was only questioned once face to face about her past, but when she told Ai the same lie she had given Sayuri, the rumour never came up again - well, at least Rei didn't notice.

So it should be easy, right?

She has a friend that likes her and classmates that weren't completely awful and she's also doing well in class. So it should be easy, but Kusonoki Muu puts a spanner in the works.

It's the small moments. The looks Muu gives her in class. The way Muu's eyes always rest on her first when Rei meets her in the schoolyard or in one of the corridors. Muu and her friends used to spend their lunch break somewhere else, Rei assumes, on the roof - a place Rei began to avoid. Recently, however, they have started to stay in the classroom more often.

The sitting arrangement is always a little different during the lunch break, but there is usually quite a distance between Rei and Sayuri and Muu's group. Nevertheless, her presence disturbs something vague in Rei.

Muu is undoubtedly an eye-catcher and the way she talks, mostly in that sugar-sweet tone, makes people want to listen. But sometimes Rei caught her telling something to her listening friends, but her eyes were on her only. As if she were sharing her experiences and thoughts with Rei and Rei alone.

But she doesn't. In fact, she barely speaks to Rei. And although that's what she wants, it bothers her immensely.

Things are only going downhill from here.

Rei rubs her hands together on the way to school today. The train was full, as it usually is, but Sayuri had joined it at the same time every morning, making her journey to school a little bit more pleasant, despite the fact that this is the coldest autumn day yet.

"I like autumn," she says as Rei complains about the cold with half a curse. Sayuri keeps both hands buried in her pockets, but her jacket looks much warmer than Rei's and she's also been smart enough to put on a warm hat. She has braided her brown hair into two braids today. It looks cute, Rei thinks. "Every autumn day is a work of art in itself, don't you think, Rei?"

"Do you mean the leaves changing colour?" Rei imitates Sayuri, burying her hands in her coat pockets. It must be her lucky day, because she finds the cold weight of two 500-yen coins, which she feels next to the lining protecting her from the cold. "Well, that's true, I suppose," she continues, immediately feeling in a slightly better mood. "Also, shiitake is in season."

"Oh! I love it in Nabe!" Sayuri agrees eagerly and her pace quickens a little. Meanwhile, Rei recognises a small group of her classmates a few metres ahead of them. It clearly distracts her, because Sayuri gently nudges her with her elbow to get Rei's attention. "By the way, Rei-chan. Speaking of seasonal food! I brought a kaki especially for you!"

"That's very kind of you, thank you, Sayuri," Rei says, giving her friend a grateful smile.

"Always so formal!" says Sayuri, but it sounds like a endearment. Strangely, Rei can't help but think of Muu. She would surely complain loudly about Rei always acting a bit reserved if she were in Sayuri's place. Huh. What a strange thought.

Before Rei can dwell on it, Sayuri has already found another topic of conversation. Fruit, apparently. That's right, she's just said that she brought Rei a kaki. Well, that's really kind of her. Rei shouldn't have dismissed this kind gesture so quickly, especially as it benefits her in a special way today, as she unfortunately doesn't have any lunch with her.

It's not as if money was really that tight for them. However, Rei would still have to do the shopping today and simply didn't have the courage to prepare something from the remaining food in the morning, while she was happy to leave the house as early as possible anyway. It all sounds so awful, but it's not really. It's complicated, yes, that's more like it. And Rei loves her parents it's just... All the sacrifices they make for her make her feel incredibly guilty. Almost unworthy.

A bright ringing bell interrupts her thoughts and a moment later a bicycle rides along the small road leading to the school, parallel to the pavement. Yui's brown hair is blowing in the wind and her jacket is open. Rei doubts that she is freezing, maybe her classmate is too cool for that. She leans back casually on the saddle as Sayuri and Rei turn towards her, alerted by the sound.

"Morning!" Yui grins, releasing a fingerless glove-covered hand from the handlebars and saluting generously.

"Good morning, Mizudori!" Sayuri replies warmly. Rei just nods, but Yui's grin widens, then she leans forward, both hands on the handlebars, and speeds off again.

Rei watches her ponytail flutter in the breeze, then Yui leaves the road at a driveway and rides on the pavement, only to swing off her bike after a few metres, joining the group of classmates Rei had noticed earlier. Ah. So she was right. She can clearly recognise Muu, who is probably playfully scolding Yui for sneaking up on them so suddenly.

Rei glances at Sayuri and realises that she's probably been staring at her for a few moments.

"What?"

Sayuri presses her lips together and then stares at the floor.

Well, that was weird.

"...Sayuri?"

She looks up and her expression is almost angry, if Rei is interpreting it correctly. This is significantly unusual. She's never seen Sayuri angry before.

"I know," Sayuri says tensely. "You're still a bit new, Rei. But do you really not notice?"

"Do I not notice what?" asks Rei, completely confused.

Sayuri lets out a frustrated sigh and throws one of her braids back over her shoulder as she tenses up and suddenly increases her walking pace. "Forget it."

Rei almost stops and her heart suddenly starts beating fast. This is bad, it runs through her head like the opening verse of a long-familiar mantra as she watches Sayuri's pretty boots walk away. What has she done wrong? She can't lose her only friendship, because that would throw her right back to the beginning, make her an outsider - and she knows exactly what will follow.

"Sayuri!" when she says it, it almost sounds like a whimper. It sounds weak and no, no, no. It will happen again. All over again.

But miraculously, Sayuri's steps slow down so that Rei can catch up with her quickly, almost stumbling. Her hand hovers over Sayuri's sleeve for a tiny moment. But she wouldn't cling desperately. She's fine, because one look at Sayuri's face is enough to compress her pent-up anxiety back into that tiny ball. Her expression is a conflict of guilt and annoyance, but underneath, Sayuri's gentleness bleeds into it to calm Rei.

"You really have no idea, do you?" she says almost affectionately, shaking her head.

"What did I do wrong?" Sayuri raises an eyebrow, but Rei doesn't let it stop her, "Please, tell me, Sayuri. I didn't want to- if you tell me-"

" Whoa, hey, calm down!" says Sayuri quickly, giggling nervously, but Rei can see in her eyes that something is still wrong. So she stops.

Sayuri does the same.

Two or three classmates walk past them. The canal stretches out behind Sayuri, cold and grey, but its surface glistens in the white morning light. They stare into each other's eyes. A tremor travels down Rei's spine. Seagulls screech in the distance. A blush spreads across Sayuri's cheeks and she looks away, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," she says, "you didn't do anything wrong, it's just..." She takes a shaky breath and then points in the direction of Muu and her friends far ahead of them. "Don't you realise they're all being so friendly to you?"

Rei blinks. "Well. I think everyone in our class is very nice."

Sayuri sighs again and wrings her hands. "You must see it too, Rei? They always greet you and last week Ai invited you to study and the day before yesterday Yui wanted to have lunch with you. They're obviously trying to make friends with you and you-"

She slumps her shoulders and looks so dejected, then picks up her pace and Rei does the same. A few leaves fall from the surrounding trees.

"I just want to say," she says, her eyes back on the ground. "You don't have to feel compelled to hang out with me when you obviously have so many other options! And you're right, they really are all nice, so would you..."

"Wait, hold on!" says Rei when she finally understands what's going on. Her step is suddenly quick, light-hearted. She almost has to laugh at the relief that comes over her, but instead she latches onto Sayuri, who is momentarily surprised. Then the weak, pained smile she put on to fake a brave face cracks and she looks seriously happy.

Rei is the one shaking her head now. "Even if I became friends with Mizudori-san, it wouldn't change anything between us, Sayuri! Why should it? You're a great friend."

"I don't know either," Sayuri admits with a small laugh. "I hadn't - I haven't really been able to make friends with anyone in our year except you, Rei."

"Same here," Rei says, but Sayuri gives her a quick, sceptical look. Rei frowns. "But you know what? That's not a bad thing. Screw them. We found each other, more or less doesn't matter, right?"

Sayuri hides her giggle behind her hand. "Okay," she says, then whispers, "'Screw them!"

Rei nods encouragingly. The cold autumn day suddenly looks a little sunnier after all. "That's true. I'm glad that we have become friends and time will tell the rest. There's no need to worry."

And at that moment, she almost believed it. Maybe she would be able to come clean to Sayuri one day. About the reason why she kept her distance, even though they were all really nice. Even the popular girls. Maybe one day. Time would tell.

Chapter Text

The day starts dark and chilly. It's the kind of day whose clouds promise rain, wet socks and catching colds. Nevertheless, Rei finds a certain primal comfort in such days. They're days you want to spend at home. Well, at least most people do.

Her younger self would definitely have wanted to. Cooking with Mom Amazake and gathering all the pillows and blankets in their tiny apartment to build a pillow fortress where she would read manga with a flashlight until Dad came home. It was a simple, quiet life they once had.

Today, the memory is rather sad, but as Rei sits in the classroom for her first lesson in the morning, an echo of those domestic feelings catches her in the school.

A fall day, promising storms, left everyone a little quieter than usual. The classroom umbrella stand was already bursting when Rei arrived, though it had only been drizzling all morning. The bad weather has even tempted Yui to wear a raincoat and Sayuri has brought a huge thermos full of tea, which she and Rei take turns emptying one cup at a time as the day passes.

It stays almost gloomy for a good part of the morning, so that the view from the window first shows the inner courtyard bathed in twilight blue, interrupted by the yellow-white glow of the neon lights in the other classrooms, which can be observed like paintings or television screens without sun-reflecting window panes.

At lunchtime, thick raindrops clap against the glass. The atmosphere in the classroom is a muffled murmur, interrupted only by the dull pounding of the rain, which can be heard throughout the entire school building if you listen hard enough.

The storm is so heavy that the last class is canceled to send the students home for a short break, for fear that the next downpour will disrupt train services until the evening.

The prospect does not please Rei. In fact, as soon as she hears the news, an uneasy feeling spreads through her stomach, but Sayuri doesn't seem to notice as she urges Rei to finish her cup of tea while she pores over a math problem.

As the last lesson ends, the feeling is still present.

One would expect the students to rush out in a noisy, unruly mass, filled with the joy of an early out of school, but the classes move quietly and with an underlying awareness that reminds Rei of swarm intelligence. Only when they reach the shoe compartments a faint euphoria begins to take over the crowd, but the weather manages to keep it muted. For most outgoing people, dropping classes is of little use when the weather is bad.

"I'm really sorry, guys," Yui announces loudly as she pulls on her boots. Her rain jacket is open and her expression is one of feigned guilt, while her eyes sparkle with amusement. " I'll start making and hanging up my weather dolls again tomorrow!"

A few classmates laugh and Yui grins broadly, then her gaze wanders over the shelves and lands on Rei just as she's about to turn away and leave.

"Oi, Sayuri! Rei! Wait for me!" she shouts and then catches up, running a little so that they can leave the building together. "We have a similar route! And I'll probably be pushing my bike in this rain anyway," she explains to Rei, while Sayuri opens her umbrella.

Rei pauses at the threshold and watches the rain speckle her shoes and stockings. By now, the sensation is so strong that she almost feels sick. She knows she doesn't want to go home yet. Not when the day is stormy and cozy, but nothing there is as domestic as it once was.

"Actually," she interjects, interrupting Sayuri and Yui's conversation about Yui's neighborhood. "I... I think I'll stay at school for a while."

Sayuri looks dismayed and even Yui looks a little puzzled.

"Are you sure, girl?" she asks, giving Rei a doubtful look. "I think this is only going to get worse, you know."

"Yeah, I think you really should go home, Rei-chan," Sayuri says, nodding but pausing in her movement. "Actually... you always go home pretty late..."

Rei has to swallow instantly as the conversation turns in that direction. This is not good.

"Please don't worry," Rei says calmly as Yui raises her eyebrows. "I just like to do homework when it's quiet here. I'm certainly not the only one staying here, either. I heard the drama club is using today as another opportunity to rehearse, and I think a few students from the parallel class are waiting out the rain too."

"If you're sure," Sayuri says, although she still looks worried, but at least Yui seems to understand, because she grins.

"I hear you, Rei. I have siblings and I like hanging out somewhere else too. But I'm not a nerd! You know there are other places to chill, right?"

After that, she sneaks under Sayuri's umbrella, who immediately tries to hold it a little higher so that Yui doesn't catch any more drops. The movement immediately exposes half of Sayuri's backpack to the rain.

Rei steps back into the shelter of the building and waves. "Have a safe journey home!"

"You too!", Sayuri half shouts over the sound of the rain, sounding like a mother admonishing her child.

Yui, who urges Sayuri towards the bikes, gives Rei an amused look. "Don't worry, I'll take care of her, Rei-chan!" she proclaims with a laugh before mockingly blowing her a kiss. "Au Revoir~"

Rei just shakes her head, but can't suppress a laugh. She lingers at the school entrance for a bit until Sayuri and Yui have disappeared through the gate and everyone else is long on their way. The school is suddenly quiet.

The echo of her footsteps in the corridor is familiar from all the late afternoons Rei has spent at school to avoid having to go home. But although her motive remains the same, today it feels like something completely new, almost forbidden.

She takes the stairs on her way back to the classroom. Well, at least that was her goal, but when she arrives in the corridor, she realizes that the light has gone out. It's nothing, Rei knows, just a few steps in and the motion sensors would make the cold electronic light return and illuminate her way. But for now, in almost complete darkness, Rei finds herself in another world.

It's like building a pillow fortress or finding a stick sword in the woods. She doesn't need much to escape an often uncomfortable reality. She sees a dark corridor. Then there is a flash. And Rei is no longer here.

The world as it once was has disappeared. The deluge erupted above people's heads a long time ago, brought on by an endless storm. It thunders in the distance, somewhere above the surface of the sea. A faint sound that barely reaches the bottom of the abyss. Rei ventures a few steps into the strange world. Letting her imagination drift. Anything that distracts her is welcome.

And when the neon lights turn on, Atlantis doesn't disappear. Rei holds on to it.

She thinks she's too far gone when she reaches the classroom and is met with words she doesn't understand. She's never been so out of touch with reality as to make up a foreign language, but as she forces herself back to the real world, she realizes she's not dreaming it up. The language is only foreign to Rei, but at least she can almost certainly place it. French. For some reason.

So her underwater expedition ends abruptly, but she's not too disappointed about it, too curious about the person speaking a European language in an empty classroom completely to herself. Does this school have an occult club that she doesn't know about?

Rei peeks in cautiously and sees a familiar school uniform. Turning her back to Rei, the girl stands in front of one of the high windows and looks out. For some reason, the light in the classroom is off, so the sickly yellow of the corridor light falls sharply into the room, but only grazes the person. Light from the phone the girl holds to her ear is the only source of illumination, apart from a flash of lightning that cuts through the sky just as Rei recognizes the stranger.

Muu's voice sounds completely different when she speaks French.

She says something else, but Rei moves and realizes too late that the window is reflecting the door. She barely recognizes Muu's face in the glass, but can only make out a slightly illuminated cheek and the ends of her hair in the window, but knows that Muu must have at least noticed the silhouette standing in the doorway.

Unsure of what exactly she should do and struggling with the strange feeling of having been caught, she wants to leave the room, but only barely makes it half a step backwards towards the wall. Her fingertips touch the light switch.

When the light goes on, Muu hangs up and... They stare at each other.

...at least for a brief, shocked second as they acknowledge the intruder of their own little world. Then Rei opens her mouth and Muu does the same.

"What are you doing - "

" - I thought you were -"

" - and shouldn't you -"

" - saying that the trains are cancelled- "

It comes out in an unintelligible, rapid-fire babble, but even without Muu talking over her, Rei has to admit that she had only blurted out a few disjointed sentences.

An expression of embarrassment creeps onto Muu's face, and Rei quickly says, "Sorry, you-"

" - You go first!"

"Oh."

They stare at each other again. And then Muu's lips twist into a half-smirk. 

"I thought you went home like the others," she finally says, tilting her head.

Rei just gives her head a shake. She actively tries not to think of the reasons, even though Muu would undoubtedly start asking questions right away.

She is wrong. Muu shrugs it off and doesn't follow up like Sayuri sometimes does. Instead, she leans against one of the desks. Her face is relaxed yet thoughtful. Her cell phone lands on the surface of the table.

"...You speak French?" Rei finally asks when she realizes it's her turn to talk.

Muu's smile softens. "I was born and raised in Japan. But my mama is from France."

She reaches for her cell phone and turns it on, only to show Rei the lock screen the next second.

It's a picture of Muu standing at a scenic harbor. The sea water is deep turquoise and the few houses that can be seen are pretty and colorful. Muu's smile, however, is the most fascinating. Rei has never seen this kind on her face before. She has a strange feeling looking at it. As if she sees a hidden treasure.

"I went to Saint-Tropez for the first time this summer with Mama. It's her home."

"It looks beautiful over there," says Rei. " I bet the weather must always be nice in that place."

Muu laughs at this for some reason and then takes a look out of the window. "It's the most beautiful place in the world. But the sun has nothing to do with it, don't you think?"

She shows Rei a few more pictures as they slowly start talking. Sailboats and expensive restaurants and vineyards and everywhere Muu is smiling in a different way than Rei has ever seen her smile.

"You seem to have been so surprised that I can speak French," she says at one point, giving Rei a look of intensity and curled lashes, as if reading every change in her face, then grins. "As often as Yui makes jokes, I thought you knew that about me."

Rei shrugs her shoulders. She didn't. But that brings her back to the beginning of the conversation.

"What are you doing here so late?"

"Like I said before, I could ask you the same thing," Muu replies in a strange half-singing tone. "But it seems to me that neither of us are particularly eager for an answer, but maybe you've changed your mind now that you're stuck here with me?"

Rei frowns at this, causing Muu to snort.

"Now don't act innocent," she says playfully, but underneath her teasing tone is a sharp accusation. "I know you've been avoiding me. I've given you my number. You have to make the next move. That's how it works with friends." She tilts her head and her gaze becomes appraising. "But you haven't had that much experience with that, have you? At least not good ones, I suppose."

Rei's throat constricts. Her palms begin to sweat, because Muu is right, isn't he?

She watches, as if in a trance, as Muu slides off the surface of the table she had been sitting on and stands bolt upright in front of Rei, like a cobra catching sight of its prey. Something sparkles in her eyes. Then she reaches out to pat Rei's shoulder. A friendly, yet threatening gesture that almost makes her flinch.

"I know you have your reasons," she murmurs, and it reminds Rei of the sound of rain as raindrops drum against the window like a thousand little war drums and lightning shoots through the sky. Muu's smile has a predatory edge. "But be warned. If I wanted something, I'd get it."

"And what exactly could you want from me?" Rei asks challengingly.

Muu takes a step back, but it's not a sign of Rei's triumph. She just giggles in amusement. "Touché. There's nothing special about you. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder, Rei-chan, but your tactics fail on me~"

Rei laughs before she can change her mind. Muu has a kind of confidence that's almost enviable.

"Look, I didn't mean to offend you," she says, keeping her voice calm. "But it's not a tactic."

Muu clicks her tongue, clearly amused, and then moves through the rows of tables. "I only wanted to have said it once," she tosses light-heartedly over her shoulder. When she reaches the door, she turns to Rei again. She raises an eyebrow. "Are you coming or not?"

Chapter Text

Rei has the feeling that the fronts are at least roughly settled when she leaves the classroom following Muu. None of them are hurt about it, and it wasn't as if Rei had rejected her. They've come up with some sort of explanation as to why Rei won't call, and Muu seems to accept it, and maybe Rei can then accept that staying under the radar can work just fine.

The question then is why she follows Muu anyway. It's curiosity, of course. And surely they would be able to have that, right? They're two classmates spending an afternoon together, it's nothing that should tempt Rei to overthink it to the impossible.

So they end up in the school's small library after pulling some tea from the vending machine. There's no sight of a librarian, so they aren't admonished when they find themselves among the school's old computers armed with steaming mugs.

"It's too dark in here to read anything anyway," Muu says.

She's right. Apart from the lightning, the sky is now pitch black and in the small library only one of the older lamps at the back of the room is burning, but the glare from the computer screen lights up Muu's face.

Rei stifles a yawn and stares at her backpack lying at her feet.

"We could do some homework," she suggests, and Muu smiles mildly and agrees.

Time flies like that. They are productive together and it definitely helps Rei feel less nervous. Muu seems to be making good progress too, but their little work session is so successful that they quickly run out of school material and have to get back to each other.

Noticeable with Muu, who sits back and, sipping tea, begins to stare blankly at Rei, who has spent the last five minutes pretending she still has something to work on.

"What?" Rei finally asks.

Muu gives her a smirk. Of course she does.

"You're done."

Something about her words tells Rei that it doesn't matter here whether she's actually done or not.

She closes the textbook anyway. It's not as if she has something better to do or somewhere else to be. Still, she raises an eyebrow. "So, did you make good progress?"

Muu waves it off, as if a conversation about the subject matter is unworthy of her time and attention. Then she puts the empty cup on the table. Rei gives her own half-empty tea, forgotten and no doubt now undrinkably cold, a regretful look.

"Tell me about yourself," Muu says and Rei frowns. Her classmate tilts her head, still smiling. "If you give me something interesting, maybe I'll return the favor."

Rei opens her mouth, more out of politeness than to give an actual answer. And pauses. She hesitates.

Muu rolls her eyes. "I promise," she says, amused. "I'm not trying to make friends here."

She emphasizes the promise in the looming imitation of an oath.

Rei can't help but think of her words from earlier. There's nothing special about you.

"My name is Rei. I'm fifteen and I am in class 2B with you." After a little hesitation, she adds, "... I have hay fever."

She loosens her crouched posture slightly to squint at Muu.

"...Wow," she says after a moment of silence with an undefined expression. "That was terrible!"

She giggles and shakes her head in disbelief before saying patronizingly: "I'll show you how to do it properly!"

With these words, she straightens up straight as a die. Her face softens and she smiles warmly.

"My name is Kusunoki Muu and I was born in Japan, but my mama is from France! My favorite color is yellow, but I like all colors as long as they suit me." She underlines this with another giggle, not taking her eyes off Rei throughout her speech. "When I was little, I wanted to be a designer, my favorite dessert is crepe cake. I like tropical fish?"

Muu suddenly claps her hands.

"Aha!" she says triumphantly. "So you do too, don't you, Rei? A common interest at last~"

"You could tell by looking at me?" asks Rei, confused.

"I can do a lot of things," Muu promises. It almost sounds like a threat, but there's only an incongruous tingling in Rei's stomach.

"Birds and fish, then," Muu says, and Rei has the feeling that she's carefully trying to push forward with her, not quite knowing how to put her finger on it.

"Sea creatures, actually," Rei admits. "The ocean is fascinating. Whales, corals, jellyfish..."

"Jellyfish?" Muu's polite façade disappears, instead she looks genuinely interested and perhaps a touch confused.

"They're beautiful, don't you think?" asks Rei, somehow feeling in a position to defend herself.

Muu hesitates briefly and then mutters something. She repeats it before Rei can ask her to. "... Hard to love."

It only takes a second before she elaborates. "They may be pretty, but many species are dangerous. When I swim in the ocean, I tend to be afraid of them."

Rei hums. "...But many species of small tropical fish are also poisonous, you know?"

Muu shrugs her shoulders, unconcerned. "But they are all the cuter for it!"

Rei shakes her head disapprovingly, but for some reason she has to smile.

They talk like that for a while until the librarian returns and throws them out. When they find themselves back in the classroom, Rei glances at the clock and realizes that it is now much later than she thought. She has completely lost her sense of time.

Muu has noticed her movement and has now pulled out her cell phone. Her face suddenly radiates complete satisfaction.

"They've canceled all the trains for the next few hours," she says, unimpressed by Rei's horrified expression. "Don't worry," says Muu, and it's almost genuinely reassuring. "I'll organize a ride for us."

Muu stops her from leaving the rainsheltered school building by holding her by the elbow.

They wait perhaps two minutes, then a man approaches the school building. In the dim light, Rei can see that he is wearing a long coat and a three-piece black suit and even a tie. He protects himself only with an umbrella, also black, and the hand that carries it is wrapped in a leather glove.

Muu waves at him and the man approaches them.

"Miss Kusunoki," he greets and nods. His tone is low. Rei recognizes that he is Japanese. Then the stranger turns to her.

"Tokuma-san! This is my friend, Hikawa Rei," Muu introduces her effusively.

Rei indicates a short bow. "Hello..." she stammers, a little overwhelmed.

"Pleased to meet you," Muu's driver says smoothly and returns it skillfully, then calmly extends his umbrella. His movement reaches a brief doubt as he seems to realize that he can't possibly hold the umbrella over both girls while walking, but by then Muu is already taking it from him.

"So," she chirps, moving a little closer to Rei to give her shelter from the rain. Tokuma-san is soaked in seconds. "Let's get going, shall we~"

"Very gladly, miss," Tokuma-san says, nodding dutifully and leading the way.

Rei follows with a strange sense of excitement.

A black car with tinted windows parks in front of the school gate.

Tokuma-san hurries a few steps ahead and opens one of the back doors of the car, then has Muu hand him the umbrella along with her school bag before she climbs in as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Muu slides into the back seat, while the driver holds the umbrella over Rei. She tries to take it off first, but Tokuma just stares blankly at her and reaches out a hand. It takes Rei a whole moment to realize that he wants to take her backpack. She brushes it off simply and clumsily and then climbs in as well. Muu smiles confidently at her. Rei would like to say something, but she doesn't know exactly what. Questions about how rich Muu was or whether she happens to belong to the yakuza flit through her mind, but something tells her that she might be making a mistake if she actually asked them.

Tokuma-san shakes out the umbrella briefly before stowing it in the trunk and getting in.

"Please, Miss Hikawa, your place of residence," he says with polite expressionlessness, eyeing Rei through the rearview mirror as she fidgets uncomfortably in her seat.

"Huh?"

Muu laughs beside her. " The place where you live, silly."

Right, Muu has organized this pick-up for her. Rei meekly gives her address, Tokuma just nods and stares at the engine. The car's headlights are yellow incisions in the darkness, interrupted by countless, stringy raindrops pattering on the roof and windshield. In contrast to the cold outside, it is pleasantly warm in the car, there is even seat heating. Rei is afraid of soiling the fine leather seats. The driver waits with an iron gaze through the rear-view mirror until both girls fasten their seat belts, and Rei notices that her hands are shaking a little, but she blames it on an aftershock from the cold.

Then the car starts.

They drive through the darkness of the city, which is clouded by glowing billboards, the nightlife of the cafés and bars and the traffic lights. For Rei, it is as if she has entered a whole new world, because although she knows the area, everything feels as if she is seeing it for the first time.

Behind the veil of rain, she sees thousands of people passing through the never-sleeping streets, like a completely alien life form, shadowy and distorted by the umbrellas they carry. And Rei is among them, in a black car with tinted windows, a foreign body, an impostor.

The world is strange. But then there is Muu.

She doesn't know Muu. She has convinced herself that she doesn't want to get to know Muu. And yet here they are. Muu smiles at her. Her fair hair and flawless skin are painted alternately by warm yellow tones and the red of the taillights. She looks so different and yet there is an all-encompassing familiarity in her smile. Something that awakens a very primal feeling in Rei, while the question of what the hell she's actually doing here slips more and more into the background as they race through the night.

Muu gives Rei a glimpse through her eyes, into her world, allowing her to almost grasp it. She can almost reach out and grab the truth about Kusonoki Muu that she keeps hidden behind the facade of a sweet and popular girl. The honesty that Muu presented to her earlier under flashes and rumblings of thunder as she practically threatened her.

And Rei has no idea what to do with that.

For her own self-protection, she should look away. Close her eyes and hope that Muu's anger at her rejection will be manageable. But it is fear and curiosity and something else that keep her searching. She doesn't know exactly what. She doesn't know why either. But she knows that she is playing into Muu's hands. That Rei will only see as much as Muu allows her to see and that this new information would be extremely dangerous, a threat of its own wrapped in a vote of confidence. Poisoned cake that Rei can't stop eating.

Her head is buzzing so much that her whole body is tight. Rei is all tense and so lost in thought that she doesn't realize they've actually arrived at her street until Muu leaves the car.

She looks up in confusion as she hears the slam of the car door, right into Tokuma's eyes as he watches her through the rearview mirror.

"I got this, Tokuma-san," Muu says from outside. Rei gives her a sideways glance. The rain is no longer so heavy, but it's still there, though Muu only gives her a thumbs-up.

Rei looks back in the rear-view mirror. "Thank you for picking me up, sir..." she says meekly.

Tokuma-san just nods. "Be careful, miss. Have a pleasant evening."

Rei knows he's referring to her neighborhood, but as Muu opens her door and waits for her to exit with the umbrella up, a dull part of her finds that his words could also apply as a warning to other things.

Muu jokingly offers Rei an arm, but she doesn't take it. She slams the door of the car shut and suddenly Muu and she are alone on the dark street.

"Which block is it?" Muu asks cheerfully as the two of them squeeze under the umbrella.

Rei points to the high rise on the other side of the street. Muu sighs, but her eyes scan the street with interest as they pass.

It's dark here, one of the lanterns, already too few to feel safe here at night, has been failing for two days and flickers eerily a few blocks away. In the distance, where it gets brighter, the noise of the main street reaches Rei's ears. From one of the dodgy alleyways, the melodies of a radio float over the rain squalls towards them, so distorted that Rei can't recognize it.

They stop outside the front door. There is no canopy, but Muu still holds the umbrella protectively over them both. Rei fumbles dazedly for her bag and searches for the key. She can hear Muu humming softly, a sound so small that at first Rei thinks she has imagined it. Out of the corner of her eye, she realizes that Muu is staring at her again.

The bunch of keys is found with a bright clink, but Rei hesitates to tackle the lock. She stares at the door, its paint chipping. A car honks on the main road, but everything else - Muu's bee-like buzzing, the music and Rei's heartbeat - is drowned out by the white noise of the rain, accompanied by the drumming drops that land on the umbrella.

"You know," Muu's voice cuts through it and the world falls silent for Rei until nothing but this remains. The tone in which she speaks is completely different from before. "I meant what I said, earlier."

Rei meets her gaze. In the dim light of the few lanterns, her face is almost completely dark. They are in their own little shelter, framed by the blurring raindrops, all around the umbrella. Isolated from the world. Muu's eyes are the only source of light in their little saving ark.

"But you don't want me," Rei whispers back. ""Do you? No reason to have me."

She doesn't know if she intends to challenge Muu. She meant what she said. It's what Muu told her earlier. There is no reason for her to seek friendship with Rei. She's not interesting at all. And Rei should actually be happy with that. She wants to avoid getting involved in the dangerous side of trust and honesty that comes with popularity. Challenging Muu makes her more interesting than she is.

And yet Rei waits with a tingling stomach for a sign that Muu will accept the challenge.

Muu smiles, half hidden by the gloom.

A car suddenly drives past and the moment shatters. Rei takes a tiny step back, so little that the umbrella still protects her.

"Well," she says awkwardly. "Thank you, Ku- Muu. That... it really was..."

"Before you panic again. I would have done that for anyone. I'm just such a nice person," Muu chirps, but her gaze is distant.

"Then..." says Rei, trying not to think too hard about whether she's serious or not.

They stand like that for a tiny eternity while Rei clutches her keys. Then Muu hums without giving her another glance and closes the umbrella before strolling through the pouring rain back to the car.

There are no yelled goodbyes. Rei doesn't turn around either.

Chapter Text

School afterwards cannot be described in any other word than enjoyable. As strange as it may seem to Rei. It is this feeling that she has been missing for some time. Going to class. Doing homework in the late afternoon. Spending the breaks with Sayuri. All of this has become a cosy consistency in Rei's life, so that she has now reached the point where she almost longs for the weekend to pass.

She feels the same way this Sunday. Rei stands between pots and pans, used chopping boards and a recipe book from her grandma, while the rice cooker does a similarly good job.

A bento shouldn't be all that complicated, she thinks with a frown as she skims over the instructions for making cute panda onigiri for the fourth time.

Her effort is ridiculously high, as the battlefield that the kitchen had turned into would surely make anyone uninvolved realise immediately. Of course, not everything is supposed to be part of the bento, but the family dinner as well. And if Rei's father, Mr Hikawa, did not return home until nightfall, he would just have to put a full plate in the microwave.

Rei frowns when the recipe for mini Hokkaido cheese tarts calls for something with the name pate sablee and reaches for her smartphone to find instructions on the internet.

The rice cooker beeps and there is soft background music on the kitchen radio while the eggs bubble in the pot. It's a comfortable atmosphere.

As the unfathomable vastness of the wordwideweb answers her questions, she begins to prepare the shortcrust pastry. It's an easier task than she thought.

Then the hair on the back of her neck starts to stand up and she hears footsteps.

"What a lovely smell!" says Rei's mother as she enters the kitchen.

Rei doesn't turn round immediately, but wastes a moment to stare angrily at her fingers tightening around the whisk and forces herself to take an unnoticed breath. Then she smiles and turns round.

Her mother stands in the kitchen in awe, checking one of the pans for heat before removing the lid and stirring the broth in which the pork belly is simmering with a small spoon and then tasting it.

She nods approvingly and meets Rei's gaze. Her eyes are friendly.

"Your kakuni tastes almost like Grandma's, Rei!" she praises unexpectedly.

Rei bites her lip as she can only focus on the word almost but nods in agreement. "I followed all the instructions." She points to the old cookery book.

Her mum grins mischievously and then bends down and turns to the spice drawer. Taking a few jars, she examines the labelling. Then she lets out a delighted noise.

"There we have it." She passes a jar to Rei. "Star anise," she explains as Rei turns it in her hand. "The secret ingredient."

Rei smiles gratefully, but her mother quickly removes the jar and begins to grind some of the spice herself and then add it to the boiling broth.

Rei bites the inside of her cheek and lets her eyes wander across the kitchen to find another task. Her plan, still very clear a moment ago, is starting to drift away from her, so she finds the pot of eggs and sets about quenching them with an ice bath.

Her mother seems to be satisfied with the taste of the kakuni sauce after trying it again and nods approvingly, although Rei no longer feels as if the praise is directed at her.

The woman takes a step towards her as she bends over a board with spring onions. Rei's grip tightens around the knife, but she forces herself to inhale through her nose. She is... surprised. Her mom… She smells only of the perfume she's been wearing for as long as Rei can remember.

"So," says her mom and Rei forces herself to look at her. It's rude to deny people a glance when they're talking. The woman smiles kindly. "Why all this fuss, sweetheart?"

Rei swallows and looks at the chaos around her. It's quite a fuss she's making here, isn't it? Silly and desperate.

"It's..." she tries to explain and her gaze wanders briefly to the bento boxes on the table. Next to the old, worn-out one she's had since she started secondary school is the new one she bought from her savings. Her mom follows her gaze.

"Oh. You're bringing someone a bento? Is there a boy in your class I don't know about?"

Rei stops herself from explaining to her mother that she goes to an all-girls school. It's the kind of thing that's probably easy to forget.

"I made a friend, Mom," she says quietly and has to smile at the thought. Her mum returns it. Radiant and engaging. That smile that reminds Rei of the charity events and bake sales at her primary school that her mother used to organise when she was feeling better. It's artificial. "Her name is Sayuri."

"Oh, I'm so happy for you!" her mother says in the same tone of voice she used to congratulate neighbours and friends on pregnancies or job promotions.

Rei certainly gives her the same admiration just as all those women once did when they lived in the old neighbourhood.

"I'm sure she'll love it!"

Her mother reaches out and pats Rei's shoulder. Her grip is just a little too firm. When Rei looks up, there's that smile again. And when she lowers her head to turn her full attention to the finished rice, she simply pretends not to have noticed the coldness in her mother's eyes.

She wanted to give something back. That was what originally drove Rei into the kitchen for a whole day. And although Sayuri is probably the sweetest person in the world, she hesitates for a brief moment during the lunch break before finally handing her the bento.

Sayuri doesn't judge her. She looks at Rei, then at the box, with the contents of several hours spent cooking, and back at Rei, as if she can't quite believe it.

"I'm not the best cook," she tries to justify herself. "Actually, I always cook the same recipes, but I wanted to make something better since you're always so nice to me and... and you're my friend, but, um, I see now that that's probably a total exaggeration and-"

"I love it!" Sayuri interrupts her.

"You... you do?" asks Rei and then she grins as she realises that her nervousness is disappearing. "Um, I'm glad to hear that!"

"Rei-chan," Sayuri says with awe. "You're, like, such an incredibly kind person, you do realise that?"

Rei's cheeks are suddenly hot as Sayuri still eyes her with that incredulous yet enraptured look, as if she had personally hung the moon and stars in the sky. "I-I'm not..."

"No one's ever done anything like that for me before!"

"Well," Rei says, clearing her throat before giving Sayuri a mischievous smile. "I'd call that their loss, don't you think?"

At this, Sayuri giggles and punches her on the arm playfully. "Oh you! But I mean it sincerely! Thank you very much."

"I wouldn't give praise so soon, you haven't even tried it yet."

Sayuri dutifully sets to work immediately, somewhat hurriedly, so that the first piece of pork belly and rice leaves a stain on her table, which her friend stares at in embarrassment.

"Don't worry," Rei says quickly and makes her way to the bathroom to get a wet paper towel before Sayuri can protest.

She hurries quickly down the corridor, but a small pile of people have formed outside the door to the toilet.

Two girls seem to be talking to Yui, who is standing just outside the door, but they turn and leave before Rei can catch a shred of their conversation.

Yui seems to sigh before she makes eye contact with another girl, perhaps a year or so below them, heading for the bathroom from the other side of the corridor, shaking her head and calling out to her, "Sorry. This is a restricted area, please go down one floor."

The girl freezes in her stride for a moment as Yui addresses her directly, before apologising, turning around and scurrying down the corridor.

Rei frowns. "What's going on?" she asks as she gets over the last few steps and reaches Yui and the restroom door.

"Oh! It's you, Rei," she says, "I'm sorry, but..." Yui interrupts herself and looks her up and down, her gaze suddenly thoughtful. Then she shows her both palms. "Wait here for a moment, kay?"

She then turns round and disappears into the toilet. Rei remains in the corridor, confused and at a loss.

Barely half a minute later, the door opens again and Yui emerges.

"All right, all is clear," she says, "You can come in. But be nice and discreet, will you be, ma chéri?"

With these words, she simply steps aside, but only long enough to let Rei through the door, as if she were some kind of doorman. Rei almost flinches as the door slams shut behind her. All she wanted was a wet towel...

She briefly thinks of manga she has read. Perhaps this bathroom has become a place where a confession is made. But no. The toilet is surely the most unromantic place in the world. So maybe there's just an unauthorised place where betting or fighting takes place. Maybe one of the girls is trying out a new make-up look, or the drama club is having rehearsals, or...

The first thing Rei sees is her own very confused face in the mirrors hanging above the row of sinks opposite from the door. Then she looks to her left. The sky behind the single window is grey. Standing in front of it and directly outside the unused stalls is Sayu, one of Rei's classmates, who stares at her angrily.

She wavers between saying something to justify herself or rushing to get a wipe from the paper towel dispenser, moistening it and leaving, but a noise takes the decision out of her hands. A sob comes from one of the cubicles.

"R-Rei?"

It is Muu's voice, even though it sounds completely distorted, as much as she is shaking. Rei immediately feels her heartbeat all the way to her fingertips as her thoughts begin to race. Then she stumbles a step.

Sayu's expression becomes a touch more sinister as Rei reaches her, also standing in front of the locked toilet stall.

"Oh, hey, Rei," says someone from higher up.

Rei follows the source of the noise with her eyes and finds a trace of Ai's hair peeking out over the neighbouring cubicle. She must be standing on the toilet seat.

There is a muffled sound and her hair disappears; instead, the cubicle door opens and all three girls stand in the corridor in front of the locked toilet cubicle.

"She's been in there since break started," Ai explains in a hushed tone.

"I-I can still hear you, you know?" comes the prompt but fragmented sobbing from the locked cubicle.

Ai's face immediately contorts with guilt and Sayu lets out a short, almost soundless sigh before leaning against the opposite wall with her arms crossed. The wary look she gives Rei is enough to make her take definitive action.

She places her palm on the wooden surface of the locked door.

"Muu," she tries calmly. "What happened?"

Behind her, Sayu makes a disapproving noise, which was probably fair. This question was certainly one of the first that Muu's friends must have asked several times by now.

Complete silence reigns in the toilet for a moment.

The sobbing... It has also disappeared, Rei notices.

Then Muu's voice breaks through the wood again. There are no more tears. Her sound takes Rei back to other watery places. To a night in the rain, a predatory smile, a challenge and a silent act of trust. "Everyone is leaving. Except you, Rei. Please."

Rei notices in the corner of her eye how Ai immediately takes a step back. She casts a quick glance over her shoulder, meeting Sayu's gaze, who looks anything but pleased.

"Now," Muu demands in that tone of voice again.

With the movement in the bathroom, the sobs return. Rei thinks for a moment that it sounded a little different a moment ago.

Sayu mumbles something as they leave the toilets.

Then the door unlocks. And Rei stares straight into Muu's eyes.

"Are they gone?" Muu asks.

She is much more composed than Rei thought, but it is no secret that she has been crying. Her eyes are red and swollen.

"Why did you want me to stay?" Rei asks back.

She is unsure what to do with the situation. On the one hand, she feels nervous because she wasn't prepared for something like this. Almost two weeks have passed since Muu's kind pickup and Rei had become accustomed to a school day in which Muu and she exchange nothing more than polite phrases.

Muu wants nothing from her. And Rei returns the favour. At least she was content with that.

Then there is the fact that Rei feels anything but comfortable in the current situation. The thought that Muu is in pain, that someone might have hurt her, causes her chest to twinge painfully, and on top of that, she can't help but remember Inori.

Just like she was hiding in a girl's bathroom when she completely broke down. To find shelter from Kaoru and Ema, Rin and all the others. How Kaoru had found her in that safe hiding place another day and pushed her head into the toilet bowl and Rei could only watch while that bitch Ema pressed her against the wall.

"R-Rei?" Muu's sobs are back as she stares at her with her eyes welling up in tears and her lip trembling. "W-what's that look? Why... why are you so angry with me!"

Well.

Rei instantly feels like shit and she forces herself to relax her hands, which she has clenched into fists.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, blinking hard to banish Ema's face from her thoughts. "I'm not angry with you. I promise I'm not mad at you. I was just... thinking about something."

"It's okay," Muu whimpers heartbreakingly, wiping her face with the sleeves of her blazer. "Everyone seems to be mad at Muu..."

Rei puts on a worried face. In truth, she can feel herself breaking out in a sweat. She's never really known what she should and shouldn't say in situations like this.

"I'm sure it's not true," she says gently, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

Muu looks anything but convinced.

"Say that to Chiyo," Muu says, wiping a tear from her cheek with her index finger. A gesture that seems somehow theatrical for a millisecond, but also makes Rei feel a strange desire to reach out and do the same.

Muu leaves the stall completely and moves towards the sinks.

Rei finds herself staring at her. Something about Muu's way of walking doesn't quite seem to fit the picture.

Inori comes to Rei's mind. Then she thinks of her own time in another school bathroom, of a friend who left the class and herself, alone with the predators. She had wanted to make herself tiny. Her shoulders hunched. Her gait introverted. Anything to avoid attracting attention.

Muu is never like this. Everything she does is seen.

Her gait is almost upright and proud.

"What did Chiyo-san do?" asks Rei slowly. Her confusion at hearing the name of a classmate she barely knows is much smaller in contrast to the one that springs from her curiosity to observe Muu.

Muu's gaze finds her in the reflection as she lets the water run. She sniffles again, but her eyes don't tear up this time.

"What not," she says, barely audible over the noise that corresponds to the rushing tap.

Something flashes in Muu's eyes.

Then she is suddenly seized by a full-on fit of sobs, while the water is still running without any benefit. Muu's wet hands spread splashes all over the wash area and mirrors as she covers her face and cries into her palms.

Rei is beside her in a flash and before they know it, they're both kneeling on the bathroom floor, with Muu sobbing into her shoulder.

An all too familiar image for Rei. Once again.

But Muu is not Inori. Muu has friends. Muu is loved by everyone. Muu is not Rei's friend.

So she lets Muu cling to her uniform, but when her hands hover over her classmate's back, she doesn't give in to touching Muu.

"It's okay," Rei murmurs softly.

Muu breaks away and stares at her almost enquiringly, still crying.

"Chiyo," she says, making the girl's name, with whom Rei has barely exchanged two words, sound like breaking glass. Like a hiss and a groan. Like the announcement of an impending disaster. "She hurt me, Rei. Everyone... e-everyone hurts me..."

"I'm sure that's not true," Rei says, trying to be reassuring, but she can't suppress the indirect accusation.

Muu glares at her for a moment. Her gaze makes something in Rei wince and freeze.

Then Muu breaks into another wave of sobs.

They don't exchange a single word for the rest of the time in the bathroom and although Muu remains buried in her shoulder for a while, she has put a tiny distance between them. She eventually straightens up almost silently as Rei hesitantly follows her. She leaves the toilet and is immediately surrounded by Ai, Sayu and Yui.

Only the latter seems to take any notice of Rei and gives her a grateful look, while the other two try to supply Muu with make-up, chocolate and wet paper towels. Right. Towels...

She returns to Sayuri very meekly. The break is almost over and Rei hasn't got round to eating anything, but is somewhat reassured that Sayuri has.

She apologises, of course, but her friend assures her that everything is fine, even after the third time. The feeling of guilt in her stomach doesn't quite want to believe her.

Muu and her friends only arrive after the teacher of the next lesson enters the classroom. They buzz around her like moths attracted by the light.

Muu's face looks tidy.

Her expression is completely composed.

She sits at her table as the lesson begins. Then she just turns round and stares at Rei. The look in her eyes is intangible, but it causes her to lose concentration for the rest of the day.

Chapter Text

Next day, Rei is standing outside the school. It's almost dark that morning and the arriving students hurry across the schoolyard into the building to escape the cold.

By now the trees have lost all their leaves, so the yard is shrouded in a monochrome-brown mass of plant remains and the skeletal shapes of their original owners cast eerie shadows.

Rei's breath hangs in a steady cloud over her as she trembles, regretting that she still hasn't brought a pair of gloves. Perhaps she should get a fingerless one? It would certainly make her current activity a little more pleasant.

The screen of her cell phone glints in the gloomy dawn.

Rei's gaze shifts from an unread message to the arriving students and back to her phone. After this happens a handful of times, her message is actually read and Sayuri types.

Rei lets out a sympathetic sigh when it turns out that her friend can't come to school due to illness. This of course explains her absence, which has been cuttingly noticeable to Rei since she had entered today's train and had now grown with worry.

Rei wishes her a speedy recovery and sends her a humorous message implying that hopefully it had nothing to do with yesterday's bento, whereupon Sayuri sends her a picture of cough tea and a hot water bottle. Before Rei could choose a suitable sticker, she looks up when she hears her name.

One of her classmates is standing in front of her. Round face, brown chin-length hair - Rei quickly matches a name to the face and her throat tightens for some reason - Chiyo.

"Are you all right, Rei-san?" she asks.

Rei swallows and glances behind the girl standing in front of her, but she sees no sign of another classmate.

"It's- what do you mean?"

Chiyo frowns and stares almost reproachfully at Rei's hands, which, now buried in her jacket pockets, are still visibly shaking.

"It's cold," Chiyo says emphatically, but her voice contains a note of reproach. "I was just wondering what you were doing out here all by yourself instead of going inside, excuse me."

"Um. Thanks?"

Rei would like to ask her how this is her business. Another impulse is the thought of simply leaving her standing there. While she doesn't really have any idea what happened between the girl she doesn't actually know and Muu, and what she should think of the whole toilet incident, she can't deny that she now holds a certain distaste for Chiyo.

The sound of Muu's sobbing sits in her ear, just for a brief moment.

Chiyo's face shows confusion and a little doubt as she looks at Rei, who is straining to avoid her gaze. Instead, she looks over her shoulder again. And indeed. A familiar face is just entering the gate to the schoolyard. They make eye contact.

Chiyo must have read the change in her face, because now she takes a look behind her. When she turns to look at Rei again, her gaze is... almost betrayed.

"Oh, I see," she almost hisses, "and I thought you were different."

Now Rei frowns at that. Chiyo has no right to sound so reproachful. She opens her mouth, hoping to set the record at least somewhat straight.

"Don't bother," Chiyo interrupts her, sounding seriously upset. "At second glance, maybe it's no wonder, is it? After all, it's obvious that you -"

"Is there a problem here?" Yui asks sharply, finally standing next to them.

Chiyo instinctively takes a step back and gives Yui a piercing look before lowering her gaze and heading into the school building without a word or another glance at Rei.

"I thought so," Yui mumbles while the girl is still within earshot, staring after her until Chiyo's back disappears behind the shoe cabinets. Then Yui looks back at Rei, who is trying to understand the situation.

Her eyes briefly scrutinize her from top to bottom.

"Are you all right, Rei-chan?" she asks worriedly. "Did she insult you or something?"

Rei shakes her head and Yui looks visibly relieved.

"Good for her! I don't know what I'd do if she made a pass at you, too, after that thing with Muu yesterday. Fucking racist bitch."

"What?" Rei asks in dismay.

"Chiyo called Muu Konketsuji," Yui explains angrily. "I don't understand her, she tried to be friends with us and now when it didn't work out, she does what? Attack the ones who are weak? I hate people like that!" Her face softens as she smiles at Rei. "But I didn't even get to thank you for yesterday, Rei."

Rei suddenly feels a little warmer in the cold.

"I didn't really do anything," she mutters, but Yui shakes her head in refusal.

"Muu was instantly better. I knew it wasn't a bad idea to let a person like you in! But never mind. You look a bit lost here. If it's just because of the conversation with that bitch, then I understand, of course, but is there anything else going on, girl?"

"Sayuri is sick," Rei explains after a moment's hesitation. "Cold."

"Ohhh boy," Yui babbles. "There really is something going around, isn't there? Poor thing! And poor you! Don't worry, I've got you, we can eat together during the lunch break!"

Rei has to smile at that and Yui takes it as an invitation to pull them both into the building.

School without Sayuri is more of a chore than it warrants. Rei's first lesson is math, but she can't quite concentrate. Numbers are more Sayuri's thing. They complement each other well there. Sayuri can do science, math and physics. Rei is better at Japanese. She reads the kanji on the blackboard and Sayuri solves equations with speed - today Rei is struggling with both.

Even the bright spot of the day, art class, for both of them, can hardly comfort her when the class ends. The last period still seems so far away.

Maybe she should write to Sayuri and offer to bring her homework over? Or she could stay longer at school again and... No.

For a few days now, Rei has been trying to have a much more positive mindset. If she always manifests the worst, it's no surprise that even in the last few days, when things have been treacherously harmonious at home, she's been reading the sign of a future threat into every minimal gesture. No. She would definitely be home early today.

"Hello Rei," a voice purred.

Rei blinked up at Muu, who was leaning over her desk, both hands propped up on the surface. A serene smile curved her lips, as if yesterday had never happened and was just one of Rei's strange dreams.

"Are you okay?" Rei asked quietly, careful not to draw attention to either of them. It wasn't too hard, since in the short break between classes, most of the classmates were talking to each other half-shouting across the room instead of pushing their desks next to each other, as was common during lunch break.

Muu's smile widened a little. Her face always looks brighter when she smiles. It's as if she's basking in the compliments she receives every day or now in Reis's care, she must think to herself.

"I'm doing very well," Muu says, then casts a conspicuous glance to the side, at Sayuri empty seat, before moving out of Reis personal space and bracing herself on the empty table in one fluid motion. "Too bad Sayuri-san isn't here. I can barely watch you all alone!"

She nods encouragingly at Rei.

"She has a cold," Rei explains. "Maybe I'll bring her homework today if she sends me her address..."

Even as Rei speaks, Muu has started to make a dismissive hand gesture, as if she's really not interested in talking about Sayuri, but she freezes as Rei finishes the sentence.

Muu raises an eyebrow. " Aww. You don't have her address yet? The two of you seem like the best of friends at that!" She bats her eyelashes before emphasizing, "What a shame!" though Rei thinks she sounds anything but pitiful.

Rei feels the blood rush to her cheeks. Today is a strange day. She's not used to blushing so much.

"Whatever," Muu says in a saccharine voice, distracting her. "I just wanted to offer that you're welcome to join us in art, but I'm only doing that because I'm very well-mannered and for the sake of the counting gesture! I know you'll decline anyway, don't you?"

She returns to her seat without waiting for an answer.

Rei spends the next hour worrying about the indirect reproach.

During the lunch break, Rei briefly observes Muu and her little group of students. She makes eye contact with Yui, who is halfway through jumping up to go over to her, but Muu's hand on her arm makes her pause in her movement.

Rei can't hear what Muu is saying to her from her spot, but her face is darkened by a frown, then she answers Muu a little and listens to her intently afterward before dropping back to her seat.

Yui gives Rei an apologetic look, but jumps up again to call her name across the classroom, motioning for her and the others to sit down after all.

"Don't be silly, Yui~" Muu replies, this time loud enough for Rei to understand. "Rei is certainly enjoying the peace and quiet."

The day dragged on until Rei's last class.

The school's art rooms are on the top floor. Access to the roof can be found on the same floor, although Rei is betting that it has become a less popular break location since the days got so cold.

Her class is the only one that has art at this hour, so her teacher, Naru-Sensei, allows them to spread out across both rooms. Rei (and normally Sayuri) likes to take a table near the windows and slightly away from the others.

Sensei hands out the sheets as the lesson begins. It is an A3 sheet of watercolor paper and the students have already had the task due today of finding and bringing enough references for the motif they want to paint. Rei runs her fingers over the texture of the expensive paper, lost in thought, as she thinks about how she wants to plan the painting.

The teacher distributes opaque white and watercolor paints to all the students and provides a huge box full of brushes. Although they have a double lesson in art, there will hardly be enough time to finish the painting, so today they are mainly supposed to learn how to use watercolors for sketching.

Rei stocks up on water and brushes before she starts. Her plan is to sketch an underwater scene and it's going surprisingly well, perhaps thanks to the book full of fish photographs she borrowed from the library last week. As she paints, the memory of her conversation with Muu comes back briefly.

She likes small tropical fish... Rei looks critically at her drawing of a surgeonfish. Then Muu stands next to her, as if she has heard her thoughts.

"Do you still need that, Rei-chan?" she asks in a friendly tone, pointing to the small tube of opaque white. "There was so little in mine, I've already used it all up!"

Rei is a little confused, as Muu is actually sitting at a table on the other side of the room with Ai, Sayu, Yui and a few other girls, and surely some of them must still have some white left. Muu also had to pass Sensei's table to get to her and could certainly have asked Mrs. Naru for more color.

"Of course," she says anyway, since strictly speaking you don't need white for watercoloring anyway, but use the paper instead, so Rei has no need for opaque white.

"Thank you!" says Muu, exuberantly happy, and reaches across the table.

As she does so, her arm accidentally grazes Rei's cup and knocks it over. Dirty paint water spreads over the entire picture, turning the vibrant colors a grayish brown.

"Oh no!" says Muu, wincing in horror. Her hand lands on Rei's hand, which quickly grabs one of the towels put aside in an attempt to save the painting. Muu immediately pulls away from the touch. Rei lifts the towel with little hope, confirming her hunch that the painting is completely ruined.

"I'm so sorry, Rei!" says Muu, and when Rei looks up at her, her expression is a mixture of panic, guilt and dejection. Before she can calm Muu down, she has already disappeared and hurries back to Rei's table in a few seconds with a new sheet of paper.

"Only I can be that clumsy!"

"Thank you," says Rei and takes the sheet from her hands. She glances briefly at the clock. More than half the time has already passed.

"Would you like to join us?" Muu offers, pointing casually behind her in the direction of her table. "Keiko is almost done with hers, maybe she could do it for you then! I just feel sooo guilty, Rei! What can I do to make you forgive me?"

Muu's eyes are wide and desperate. Rei suppresses a sigh and smiles instead.

"It's okay," she says, trying to be very honest. "It could have happened to anyone. I'll do it... quickly myself."

Muu leaves only after Rei assures her once again that it's fine and Rei reconcilingly hands her the opaque white. She then believes it herself.

She imagines she hears Muu laughing about something with Sayu as she returns to her own seat.

When the lesson ends, it's clear that Rei has to stay and she retreats to the smaller art room, hoping that her classmates will notice less.

Rei thinks she is the last to leave. The sun is setting behind the window panes of the school building and some crows, gathered on the power lines, are putting on a weird screaming concert.

So much for being home early today.

She looks at the finished picture. It's impossible to say whether she could have achieved a better result with the first attempt - woulda, woulda, coulda - she didn't want to get hung up on what-ifs. Rei preferred to take things as they came and today she is satisfied. Sensei is in the other art room and as Rei approaches to hand in the painting, she realizes that not all the students have left after all.

Voices echo down the corridor. She enters the room and it becomes quiet.

Oh. It was Muu who stayed. Rei briefly sees water running over watercolors flash before her mind's eye, but she quickly suppresses the image. Instead, she wonders what Muu is still doing here.

The girl beams at her with that perfect smile that moved something in Rei's heart, but something... something was wrong with her eyes. Rei realizes a little late that she must have interrupted the conversation between Sensei and her.

"Finally done?" asks Naru-sensei and Rei nods, handing her the painting. She hesitates briefly for some reason, as Muu is standing right next to it, but scolds herself for this irrationality. It had just been an accident and all her classmate does is stand there calmly smiling.

"Wow," she fluted, "Hikawa-san, that looks beautiful! No wonder you stayed the extra hour, it shows the extra work you put in!"

This comment irritates Rei. She's flattered by Muu's praise - she sounds so sincere when she says it, but the rest of it... Surely Muu is aware that she had to start from scratch after the little accident?

Sensei says similar words of praise, noting that she's happy to be teaching two students so arranged at once.

Muu graciously lowers her chin at what Rei very belatedly recognizes as a word of praise, and then gives her a mock-tabby look.

"I stayed a little longer too, just like you, Rei!"

Mrs. Naru starts a conversation about this, while Muu excuses herself and retreats to the back corner of the room, where her bag still is. Rei can't hear properly the conversation because of some reason. Her gaze follows her classmate as she packs up her things.

"Ah, there we have it," Sensei says, stopping searching through the piles of watercolor drawings and pulling out a painting instead. It is intricate, lifelike and testifies to a patient technique. The colors, however, remind Rei of the ones she had used for her first attempt. In the end, she didn't manage to achieve the same contrast again. It's Muu's picture, Rei realizes belatedly.

Naru-Sensei begins to rave about Muu's technique and, pointing with her index finger, encourages Rei to admire the particularly detailed parts of the painting. Rei follows her movement, but eventually she looks up. Muu is no longer at the back of their seats, but halfway towards them, but... huh. Instead of taking the direct route between the chairs and tables, she stays close to the wall and stops short in front of a shelf.

The teacher points enthusiastically at Muu's depiction of a coral reef. The outline is almost perfect. Rei moves away from the picture again and can just see something flash. Muu had pulled something out of the shelf. A box cutter. Then their eyes meet and for some reason Rei doesn't dare to breathe. Muu tries to hide the tool in the folds of her skirt, but it was too late. Her gaze is not caught or guilty, but almost daring. Rei feels her own throat constrict.

Rei looks back down at Muu's painting, which looks eerily similar to her first attempt.

She hears Muu say goodbye as Rei begins to wash away the used brushes and her mixing cup, but doesn't look after her.

Sensei puts the remaining brushes in the box on the shelf and the class's finished paintings in a large folder before wishing Rei a good day when she leaves the art room herself.

Muu is waiting for her in the corridor and beams again.

"Rei-chan!" she says so happily, as if she actually means it, and latches on to her. Rei smiles back awkwardly as she wonders where Muu has hidden the box cutter. The question is answered when the blade rests in Muu's hand. Rei almost flinches, but the other only leans a little closer to her in a conspiratorial manner. Her face is friendly as Rei searches her face in alarm, trying to gauge her intention.

"That'll be our little secret, huh~", Muu says. It doesn't sound like a question.

"What do you need it for?" asks Rei in honest curiosity.

There's a very brief flash of annoyance in Muu's gaze, but then she giggles lightheartedly.

"I just wanted to practise the technique we learned last week at home," she says. Muu tilts her head and winks. "There's no harm in that, is there?"

Rei catches herself shaking her head. Muu smiles and makes the blade disappear, then suddenly rests her head on Rei's shoulder as they both walk down the hallway.

"I knew you'd understand, Rei," she says, her voice sounding so soft, almost sad. She also drops the artificial endearment of her first name. Rei's heartbeat quickens at the warm weight on her shoulder and her steps slow down. Muu's hair smells of strawberry shampoo. She catches herself leaning her own head against Muu's a little.

They quickly return to normal and Rei tries to convince herself that it is only because they are reaching the stairs. Muu, hanging on her arm, almost seems like a heavy ballast to Rei now as her thoughts turn back to the knife. She thinks back to when she saw Muu crying yesterday, after she apparently had a fight with Chiyo. Did the other girl hurt her? Does Muu feel so insecure that she feels the need to carry a weapon?

Rei unconsciously shakes her head at her own thoughts. Surely Muu has just told the truth. The girl next to her is so cheerful as she starts a conversation about Rei's last school, as well as the beginning of spring and how much she's looking forward to the cherry blossoms even though it's not even really winter yet. It's hard not to be infected by Muu's smile, Rei remarks.

"Why did you pretend you didn't know what happened to my painting?" asks Rei when they reach the locker, not quite able to keep the accusation out of her voice.

Muu gives her a sad look that feels like a sting. "I thought you said it was okay. If I would have said it, I would have gotten in trouble after all."

Rei has to admit that she's more concerned with the knife than the accident. Still, there were the striking similarities between her first attempt and Muu's finished picture. But something in the other girl's gaze makes her drop it. Her eyes remind her of watercolor.

"You're right," she presses out.

"No," Muu replies, still sad. "I... I'm so clumsy. You know... since the thing with Chiyo, I don't really know where my head's at. I know it's silly of me to take it to heart like that..."

"It's not silly," Rei replies. All half-hearted accusations fall flat. Instead, Rei feels guilty and angry at Chiyo and... She reaches out a hand and gently places it on Muu's shoulder. Barely daring the touch to go deeper than a brush. Her courage is immediately rewarded with a radiant smile from Muu. She feels the phantom warmth of Muu's head on her shoulder just moments ago and a strange tingling warmth spreads through her stomach.

Rei has to smile. Just tiny, small, but -

Muu's cell phone rings suddenly, making Rei immediately flinch and let go of her, and Muu greets the person on the other end just as cheerfully. It seems to be Ai. Muu promises to meet her right away and Rei feels an irritating twinge of jealousy.

"I have to go, Rei-chan!" announces Muu lightheartedly, and Rei screws up her face slightly as Muu uses the honorific again. Muu disengages from her side and opens her arms for a hug. Rei goes for it before she really thinks about it. It is not common to do such things with your friends in public. Then she smells Muu's shampoo again and feels all warm in her arms. Before Rei can break away, Muu leans forward a little and her lips brush Rei's cheek, as soft as the wing impact of butterflies.

She then disappears with a broad, warm smile as quickly as the sun on a cloudy day.

Rei stumbles out of the school, her breath visible in clouds of vapor. The cold isn't the only thing that makes her blush.

Chapter Text

With a hollow clonk, Sayuri's head lands on the surface of the table, or rather directly on her notes from the last math lesson that she missed. Tea water in the cup next to her sways ominously from the impact.

"How am I going to pass this exam!"

Rei gives her a pitying look as Sayuri sits up again. "And you're sure you'll be able to come back to class tomorrow?"

"Don't worry!" Sayuri says promptly, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly, her fingers still loosely clutching her pink ballpoint pen. "I'm just being a bit dramatic, Rei! Exams always make me nervous and this one makes up half the grade on top of that! It would be different if it was the only one we were writing, but it's so- so-"

"I understand that," Rei admits. "It's always so much stress, isn't it? But you're really good at math, you just put too much pressure on yourself."

"Yeah, but you know me, I don't really say that much in class."

Sayuri reaches for her cup and takes a sip of tea. Rei does the same.

Sayuri's room is a little smaller than Rei expected when she stood in front of the beautiful single-family house this Sunday afternoon. There was a wide garden and a white-painted fence, while the lawn was scattered with toys that Rei couldn't quite figure out whether they were for dogs or children.

It turned out to be both shortly after Rei rang the bell. A woman opened up the door, wearing the same warm smile as Sayuri. Meanwhile, two little boys of the same age were chasing a somewhat fat pug through the hallway, its short tail wagging in excitement.

"Ah, you must be Rei!" the woman had said, even before Rei could explain that she wanted to drop off Sayuri's homework, she had invited her in and offered three different types of snacks and tea in the short time it took Rei to take off her shoes.

Then Sayuri had come down the stairs and rescued her from the ensuing conversation about Rei's family and led her to her room. One of two rooms under the converted attic, with a simple futon but an impressive closet, a large shelf full of books and manga, a TV and an astonishing number of fairy lights.

There is an indisputable truth in Sayuri's words. Rei has been sitting next to her for more than two months now. That's enough time to know that her friend is actually a pretty good student. She is better in some subjects, worse in others, but she is certainly at least slightly above average in all of them. Her only problem is that she seems too shy to speak up in class. In fact, this rarely happens.

Rei sees this as less of a problem than Sayuri. When they graduate from high school and apply to university, they are expected to take written entrance exams.

Nevertheless, she gives Sayuri a few words of encouragement and then asks her to explain a task that she has already solved in secret to cheer her up a little. Sayuri always feels happy to be able to help others.

Rei actually meets Sayuri on the train on Monday, just as she said she would. Wearing a mask, but looking even healthier than yesterday, she happily tells Rei that she has brought a lot of tea with her today, partly to cure herself, of course, but also to be able to share it with Rei. It makes her smile.

"I want to ask Naru-Sensei if I can paint the picture during the break," Sayuri explains on the cold, gray walk to school.

Rei, both hands buried in her pockets, detaches her gaze from the canal. The water is partially covered in a thin layer of ice.

"Sounds like a good idea."

Sayuri looks pleased at the reassurance and her step becomes a little skittish, perhaps just aiming to get the pressing cold out of her limbs, which Rei can understand very well. "I need all the study time I can get! This is the last lesson before the exam, Rei!"

She can't help but smile mischievously and nudges Sayuri jokingly with her elbows without releasing her hand from the protective covering of her pocket. "And I'm sure you've already finished all your study notes, haven't you?"

"You don't?" asks Sayuri, making a bewildered face.

Rei shakes her head indulgently.

"Not quite yet. I've made ecosystems and the carbon cycle my first priorities. I think concentrated study can save me a little better there."

"Don't make it sound like the exam is already a lost cause! You understood everything quite well yesterday, you just need to focus on remembering the correct formula..."

Rei has started to take these cozy school mornings to heart. The building is usually pleasantly heated and although she misses the green of the trees, the sunrises become more beautiful as winter approaches.

Watching this natural spectacle on a packed train, or even on the short walk to school with Sayuri as her companion, is a comfortable experience. The reflection of the sun forms a street of light on the water of the canal at a very specific point. It almost excuses the remaining barrenness, characterized by brown, dead grass and bare trees.

Rei is not a big fan of either winter or summer. Either too hot or too cold is not exactly a compellingly better choice. However, the one thing about the onset of winter that she has started to like is the winter birds.

Normally, Sayuri and she usually only encounter a bunch of crows on the way to school, but just as Rei has accompanied Sayuri to the art room and is now faced with loneliness during her lunch break, her gaze out one of the windows falls on a couple of seagulls on the canal bank. Well, two to be exact.

It makes her frown and one floor down she can't stop herself from looking out of the window again. The feeling that comes over her when Rei realizes that the birds have disappeared is close to disappointment and upsets her so much that she only does not look up until hearing someone call her name for the second time.

Yui flaps her arms to get her attention, so hard that her ponytail sways with the movement. Rei almost shivers a little at the sight of her - her classmate is wearing a cozy-looking hoodie under the blazer of her school uniform, but the sleeves of both are rolled up to the elbow. Even though the hallway is quite cold...

"Where did ya leave Sayuri, girl?"

"Oh," Rei says, catching up the few steps to Yui, then she points her finger gently at the ceiling of the corridor. "She's using the break to catch up on the art project."

"Ohhh. I see! That's right, she was sick last week. I'm glad we got that done at least." She interrupts herself, looking as if a sudden realization has come to her. She gives Rei a questioning look. "That goes for you too, right? Muu told me that you accidentally spilled your water and had to start all over again?"

"Well, actually, she -" Rei bites her tongue before she can finish the sentence. Yui's head snaps in her direction and Rei lets out a fake cough before she starts again: "Yes, I managed to finish in the end."

"Ah, that's great! But that also means you definitely need a rescue, doesn't it?"

Rei raises an eyebrow questioningly, Yui takes this as an opportunity to jokingly pat her on the back and herd her further down the corridor.

" I'm not letting you spend the break alone again! Only losers do that!"

Rei lets Yui pull her towards the classroom while she processes the new information.

What were the facts? Muu had (accidentally?) knocked over some water during the last art lesson, which resulted in Rei having to start all over again. It wasn't all that bad and Rei didn't blame her at the moment for not being honest in front of the teacher and admitting that she had caused the accident. Rei understood her reasoning. But the fact that Muu lied in front of her friends is confusing. Rei's first impulse was to feel attacked. However, she has never seen Muu do anything mean. Maybe she needs to look at the big picture.

Fact is, Muu was nothing but nice to Rei.

It's also a fact that Rei is determined not to get involved in a friendship with her - not that Muu could be seriously interested in something like that with someone like her - and Muu seemed understandable about it.

Telling the truth in this situation might have led Muu's friends to speculate.

Another fact is that it was definitely an accident. If Muu was playing foul with Rei, surely she would have bragged about what she had done?

Rei finds peace in this realization when they reach the classroom. After Muu revealed her vulnerability to her in the bathroom, she would have found it hard to feel resentment towards her classmate anyway in the first place. So something inside her barely resists when Yui shoves her right up against Muu and her group.

"Ohooo, what gives me the honor?" Muu pouts after Yui successfully pushes Rei down on the chair right next to her.

Muu's group - Yui, Ai, Sayu and another girl named Toyoko, who Rei has already worked with once in a group English assignment, but who she sees a little less often with the rest of the group - have pushed their desks together for lunch, as many in the class do. Rei spends the break with Sayuri. Most of the time, when they eat or play cards together, it is enough for the two of them to just push a chair up to the others' desk. In contrast, the girls here have set up a small board - and Rei is now sitting at the head of it.

Ai gives Rei a nod as Yui plops down in her own seat. Sayu, on the other hand, only looks up briefly from her papers. The two of them and Toyoko also sit a short distance away from Yui and Muu. A glance at the class notes they all have in front of them offers an explanation. Rei recognizes some numbers and can quickly draw the conclusion that they are studying for the upcoming math exam.

Muu doesn't seem to have studied anything and instead eaten, but Yui, who is sitting across from her and therefore to Rei's right, also seems to have done some math. The calculator still shows a recent result, which does not seem to match the calculation on Yui's sheet. There are a few scribbles in the edges that remind Rei of her own in her dog-eared math notes.

Yui's pen has rolled across the table, and from the way the sheets of paper, along with pencil case, ruler and calculator, have been pushed aside so that Yui can rest an elbow on the table and cradle her head in the palm of her hand. Rei quickly assumes that learning has been abandoned on her part. A mixture of sympathy and suffering fills her briefly, especially when Yui apologizes to Muu: "I can't watch her spend the break all alone!"

Her voice is a little too loud. A girl - Hamasaki Fuyo - from the next table lifts her head curiously from her light novel and Ai seems to have made a mistake, swearing and giving her friend a sour look.

"As you can see," Yui now addresses to Rei with an exaggerated whisper. "Has our table become a hell of studying."

"Maybe all the more reason why you should shut up and do so," Sayu mutters and Ai laughs, but Yui only sticks out her tongue in response.

Rei gives Muu a look, which she catches with a grin, then clears her throat falsely. Rei watches everyone at the table stop what they're doing to look at Muu. She stands up and rests a hand on the desk.

"Well," Muu says, drawing it out. "I think you're out of luck, Yui. Won't you join Rei and me so we don't bother anyone else here?"

She tilts her head slightly in a question and Yui stands up from the table without comment, seemingly pleased to leave the math behind. Considering she ran into Rei in the hallway, it doesn't seem like the first opportunity she's used to escape.

"It's time for a pee break anyway!" she declares far too enthusiastically.

Rei rises last, she has noticed that only Yui was asked if she wanted to come along, but the fact that she was always involved in unplanned plans with Muu surprises her only a little.

So they go to the toilet first, but it seems that only Yui of the three has to go. Rei feels a bit strange and doesn't quite know what to do while they are waiting, so she leans against the wall next to the door.

Muu, on the other hand, heads for the sink. Her handbag was left behind in the classroom, but she pulls something small and metallic out of one of the pockets of her blazer.

The cap of the lipstick shines golden in the cold light of the bathroom. Muu leans closer to the wash basin. Rei has a glimpse of her loose strawberry-blonde hair at the back of her head, but then realizes that she can see the reflection of Muu's face in the mirror.

Muu purses her lips and skillfully traces the delicate pink on them before gently rubbing them together. She seems pleased with the result, as her freshly painted lips curl into a small smile. Then her eyes meet Rei's and suddenly she feels... caught out.

Her eyes quickly dart sideways down to a worrying patch of mold under the farthest sink. A sound tells her that Muu has stepped away from the mirror.

"I think you should try it" Muu then says out of nowhere and Rei looks up. Her turquoise eyes are friendly and the closed lipstick lies in the palm of her outstretched hand. "This color suits you for sure!"

"You should listen to her, Rei!" agrees Yui, coming out of a stall. "Muu-chan is very good with make-up."

"I'm not sure," Rei tries to explain. "The school rules say -"

"And we don't support this misogynistic crap!" protests Yui. As she does so, she moves the hands she is washing vigorously and splashes the mirror.

"I get the point," Muu mocks ironically. "At regular schools, they don't want our pretty faces to distract the boys. But there are no boys here. So we can be pretty in peace. Or who do you think you might distract, Rei-chan?"

Before Rei can think of an answer to that, she prefers to take the lipstick, but Muu's fingers suddenly tense up and she holds it tightly.

"I think it's best if I do that! It's a very good brand. So you should apply it properly. So better no smudging."

She doesn't really allow any discussion and is immediately so close to Rei that she suddenly becomes very aware of the wall at her back.

Muu's face is so near that Rei can smell a trace of her peppermint chewing gum and the scent of her sakura perfume. Her eyes glide inquiringly over Rei's face and linger on her lips. Rei has to resist the urge to moisturize them, hoping Muu won't be too judgmental of the slight tears the cold weather has brought.

Muu opens the lipstick. Rei has to suppress a wince as Muu's fingers graze her chin and her free hand holds it gently to ensure some stability. Then she begins to draw.

Rei releases her breath, which she has been holding unnoticed, slowly through her nose, trembling but trying. Muu's gaze is calm and her movements routine. The lipstick has a pleasant smell. Cherry, perhaps. The touch of the tip tickles slightly. Rei has a whole lot of thoughts buzzing through her head as she stands calmly, like a statue, letting Muu do the work. She watches the brown curve of her eyeliner blur with the pink splash of her eyeshadow, so subtle that Rei doesn't notice it until they're standing so close together. She thinks about how Inori once gave her a lip gloss because she thought it would suit her. It felt less special than this moment.

For one thing, Inori didn't want to prove her own point. While Muu has the same statement, she has an undeniable urge to prove her hypothesis. She reaches for pen and paper, brush and canvas - for lipstick and Rei - to give her words a value.

What's more, it is she who persuades Rei to do something forbidden. It's true, Rei would probably be much more worried if Muu persuaded her to steal something. If they were caught, it certainly wouldn't even warrant a conversation with a teacher, so small is their crime.

But Rei still finds it significant, and in that brief moment when she can think about it, she believes to find a similar form of importance in Muu's eyes. They seem like those of a victor.

Because she has gained a bit of confidence.

Even if Rei didn't intend it. She can hardly undo it, while Muu leaves a imprint on her.

It's not the first time something like this has happened to Rei, but this is a mark she's almost content to bear. It is not associated with pain. It feels more like a tribute. Instead of an ugly graffiti on a wall, she wears a symbolic haiku. A handful of humble and modest verses, but they are written with honesty, from the heart of their creator with the ultimate goal of capturing a small moment and imbuing it with a little more significance in contrast to constant change.

Rei can't help but feel more comfortable with it than she would like to.

Muu nods contentedly and examines her work.

"Cute!" Yui comments.

Only now does Muu take a step backwards. Her hand leaves Rei's shoulder and she smiles patronizingly as she closes the lipstick. "Very lovely. Just as I suspected."

Rei takes a quick glance towards the mirror. The color is a little unfamiliar, but... well, she doesn't hate it.

"Thank you, I… uhm. Yeah."

She feels strangely warm.

"Well, so I guess we're done here," Muu announces, signaling for them to leave the restroom.

Yui goes ahead first and Rei notices Muu's sideways glance as they follow her. Her eyes hang on her lips, but when they make eye contact, her smile widens.

"This was worth breaking school rules for, huh?"

Chapter Text

Rei tries to brush off the thoughts that follow. She tried to be careful right from the start. Changing schools - it was her chance. Probably her last one. She can't risk anything and yet here she is again with Muu, having just borrowed her lipstick as if they were best friends. So even if things look sunny right now, with the sky always clear of clouds, Rei knows she might conjure up a storm sooner or later.

All it takes is to get something wrong. To feel too comfortable with Sayuri, perhaps to say a little too much. It's enough to hang out with Muu more so that people would get jealous. Maybe even Muu's friends themselves. Sayu or Ai-

She needs to stop doing that. If things get out of hand again- If they escalate again...

As they walk down the hallway and Rei tries to convince herself that Muu's lipstick is a rather subtle pink and that many girls here wear much more noticeable makeup despite the ban- because those are the thoughts and problems she can deal with right now. She can't and shouldn't think about the girls at her old school - she suddenly stares into a face that reminds her directly of Kaoru. Although there are no outward similarities to her old bully, her classmate makes her blood boil in a familiar way.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Kusunoki-san?" asks Chiyo, fixing Muu with an intense stare that awakens an irrational impulse in Rei to shove herself in front of her.

She doesn't, but she can still feel her body tense up and can see in the corner of her eye that Yui feels the same way.

Rei's heart is pounding in her throat as she recognizes the hostility in Chiyo's gaze. She will never understand it. This undeserved hatred directed at the most sensitive of people. Inori is nothing like Muu. Rather, she reminds her a little of Sayuri. But back then, she had the same vulnerability as Muu in that bathroom.

Much worse, though. Rei was there when she broke. A sobbing mess on the floor of a closet of wet and cut up clothes with swollen eyes and bruises. The last day before...

Rei remembers how her face had taken on a strange sort of numbness as she had made her way home half an hour later, wearing Rei's spare school uniform with a trace of farewell pain. Inappropriately composed. And then, of course, her realization the following morning of what that actually meant.

And then she glances at Muu and sees a similar composure.

She isn't Inori. But Rei doesn't care.

"No," she says firmly. "I rather think not."

Chiyo's eyes become narrowed as she pierces Rei with her gaze. Rei stares back hard.

"Excuse me," Chiyo says sharply. "I wasn't talking to you, was I?"

"Well, you should excuse yourself, Chiyo-san. Last time I checked, you should watch what you talk about, right?"

Indignation and embarrassment spread across Chiyo's face. Rei is briefly filled with the same primal satisfaction she'd had when she'd punched Kaoru- She stops the thought. And Chiyo turns on her heel without another word.

Her silhouette disappears with quick footsteps that echo across the stone floor of the hallway, but she walks past the classroom, heading for the stairwell.

"Shit," is the first thing Yui says enthusiastically. "You're hardcore, girl!"

She pats her appreciatively on the shoulder afterwards. Rei tries to hold on to the satisfaction she just felt and not get caught up in the burgeoning images of her past. A glance at Muu is enough to keep her in the present.

"Thank you, Rei," her tone is relieved, effusive, but for a moment Rei thinks she sees something else flash behind the vulnerability of her gaze.

Chiyo doesn't show up for class for the rest of the day. It's a little strange, Rei thinks, because her things - a purple leatherette shoulder bag, a bottle of unsweetened tea, a light brown pencil case and even her notes - are still in place, but then Sayuri returns for the next class and Rei puts the recent events out of her mind.

It's math, the last period before the upcoming exam, and the whole classroom is filled with unanswered questions.

Rei and Sayuri use the last break briefly to go outside, as her friend is sure there are a few snowflakes among the drops of drizzle, though when they check for themselves in the yard, all that greets them is rain and a cold wind, which hurries them back into the school building.

After the last lesson - science - most of the class remains in the room, as Ai and another classmate named Mari agree to recalculate the last math problem of the lesson for everyone on the blackboard.

Rei takes notes, Yui curses out loud in despair and Sayuri finds the courage and even corrects a formal error made by the two girls on the blackboard, while another group competes to see who can enter the partial calculations into a calculator the fastest.

It is around this time that Rei notices that Chiyo's things are no longer in their place. She must have picked them up.

When the final result appears on the board, at least those who were actively involved in the calculation process congratulate each other before a few people besiege Ai to beg her for her notes, while Yui flees the scene as Rei assesses it, thinking to escape math as quickly as possible.

Her escape goes in Rei's direction and she can't help but tense up. She hopes Yui isn't planning on thanking her again for everyone within earshot for how she handled that with Chiyo.

"Hey!" Sayuri greets, sounding surprisingly sincere. The interaction with the class just now seems to have boosted her confidence somewhat.

Rei feels conflicted about it, happy for her friend on the one hand but a little uncomfortable on the other, especially when Muu's face suddenly appears from behind Yui's shoulder.

"So, what are you two doing now?" Yui asks in a casual tone, leaning against Sayuri's table.

"There's a new rather fancy coffee place we wanted to go to. Want to come along?" Muu adds.

Rei gives Sayuri a quick sideways glance. There's no mistaking her delight at the offer. Rei would be lying if she said that she didn't feel the same way, at least to some extent.

However, there is still the promise she made to herself for her own protection. Doing something with Muu and Yui would involve Sayu and Ai and probably even a few other girls. And the way Yui and especially Muu are always so social, including a rather boring person like Rei might give the wrong impression to the other girls.

After all, what else explains why Rei always finds herself the focus of Muu's attention? She is always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Although there is of course a certain degree of attraction that Muu naturally exerts... But Rei wanted to do her best to resist it! Her actions during today's lunch break have only confirmed another failure in this endeavor.

Rei is about to refuse when Sayuri looks at her promptly. Her eyes and the smile on her face show joy.

She remembers that Sayuri once told her that she doesn't have that much experience in making friends. Maybe this is the first time in a while that someone has invited her to something. Not that Rei has even come close to fulfilling these minimal conditions of friendship. But Sayuri - sweet, nice Sayuri - remained friends with her anyway, even though she clearly deserves someone who appreciates her even more than Rei does.

If she declines, she might take away Sayuri's chance for something like that, because she's pretty sure Rei will seal the decision for both of them. She doesn't think she would even consider the invitation if Muu and Yui had only invited her and ignored Sayuri completely.

What's one insignificant afternoon, she thinks briefly, but decides that she should at least be a little more hesitant to be able to justify a quick exit should things get awkward.

"Shouldn't we all be studying for the exam on Thursday? Or science on Wednesday?" she asks the class, and immediately gets a twinge of guilt when Yui's face looks pained.

"That's actually the compromise," she groans, "The other girls are only coming along because we're planning to do some studying there..."

"I'm sure Ai would be happy to exchange notes with you, Yashida-san!" says Muu, turning to Sayuri. "I didn't know you were so good with numbers!"

Before Sayuri, blushing a little, can say thank you, Yui joins in: "True! Maybe you should tutor me a little, Sayuri! However, I don't know if I can see any more numbers today..."

"I'm sure some coffee will help with that," says Rei.

"So it's a done deal then." Muu smiles victoriously.

Muu waits for them to pack up before they all put on their jackets. Ai and Toyoko still join them and they leave the classroom clearly as the last group, but Muu stops Yui with one arm in front of the exit.

"There was something else you wanted to discuss, right, Yui-chan?" she asks with a smile.

Yui's face shows incomprehension, then she looks back into the classroom. Rei follows her gaze.

The last one in the room is Sayu, who, realizing that she is being watched, pauses to gather her things. She straightens up and crosses her arms in front of her chest. The black strands of her long bob come loose from one side of her ear, fall over her chin and obscure her face. She catches Rei's gaze and her expression turns dark.

Rei quickly looks back at Yui.

"Right," Yui says with realization. "This thing- uh. The talk."

She returns to the classroom.

Rei opens her mouth to ask what the matter is, but Toyoko immediately says that she's about to die of thirst.

Then Ai latches onto Sayuri, who is immediately flustered, but doesn't dare or doesn't want to free herself from her grip. Ai starts questioning her about math and Rei's attention quickly wanes as a result, Toyoko joins them in following down the hallway and hooks onto Ai's other side.

Now only Muu and Rei remain in front of the classroom.

She tilts her head. Still giving Rei a smile, but her expression is thoughtful.

Images of a late afternoon after art class, when Muu had hooked up with her, flare up for a moment. The weight of her head on her shoulder. How it had felt almost natural to walk like that. As if they were no longer Rei and Muu, but a piece that had been put back together after being broken for so long.

As Rei makes her way down the hallway after a prompting word from Muu, the small disappointment that they probably won't even mirror the other girls today is extremely annoying. Rei is walking all alone, not even alongside her classmate. It's what she's supposed to be aiming for. A distance between them.

Muu's echoing footsteps behind her are a constant reminder.

Muu follows her small group a few steps away, Rei notices. She sees Sayuri a couple of meters ahead of her and her joyful expression reassures her somewhat. Then she dares to glance over her shoulder.

Muu looks straight to the side, briefly out of the window. Her expression is... almost tense. Not sad. Not angry either. Perhaps... brooding. But then her eyes break away from the view outside the window, skim briefly over the stone floor, and then shoot over to the group, checking. Rei quickly turns her head away before they can make eye contact. Something inside her hopes that Muu hasn't caught her again, like she did in the bathroom...

The damp ground of the schoolyard remains untouched by the impact of drops as they made it out of the building. It has stopped raining and instead the sky is neutral white, but just at that moment the sun breaks through a few holes in the cloud covering and the bare court looks like a glass walkway.

It's a beautiful sight, Rei decides, but her companions don't seem to be paying any attention. Ai has just been admiring Toyoko's umbrella. It's a cute thing with an elegant handle and little cherries as motifs. The other one stretches out the umbrella just for show.

Rei looks at her own umbrella, which she carries closed and useless in her hand. It's just a cheap plastic thing. Sayuri has a foldable one that she always carries in her school bag and has been a lifesaver for them both from sudden rain showers over the past few weeks.

Muu doesn't carry an umbrella. Rei wonders if her driver still accompanies her to the doorstep of the building on rainy days and holds her umbrella, as he did when he picked her up, or if Muu exposes herself to the rain. Then she pushes the thought out of her mind. Distance is the word of the hour and although she has let Muu persuade her to do something again, distance should be maintained.

The café has just the right mix of trendiness and cozy atmosphere needed to persuade a group of high school students to pay for an overpriced hot drink. Rei finds herself skimming the menu above the counter at least thrice, each time with increasing desperation.

All the products have English names, none of which are particularly informative about the drink in question, Rei thinks, although her English is relatively good.

Perhaps she should have thought about the problem with the prices earlier. The private school is located in a nice neighborhood, populated mostly by the upper middle class. It's hardly surprising that the new coffeeshop, set among the pretty detached houses, is now packed with students from the nearby school in the early afternoon.

As Rei turns around hopefully, just to calculate how successful a secret getaway could be to escape the extortionate prices and at best not come out as poor, she spots a few familiar faces from the parallel classes, but more importantly Yui and Sayu, who enter the café shortly after them and squeeze their umbrellas into the same overcrowded basket as they did before.

"Hey guys!" greets Yui, as the two girls fall in line behind her. "Man, this place is cool! I think I've seen a few posts from people on Instagram!"

"That's why I chose this one, of course, silly~" greets Muu, standing at the front. "The drinks here are of very good quality. I've actually had the chance to get takeout a few times."

Rei briefly has the image of Rei's intimidating driver, Tokuma-san, in her head, ordering one of the coffee drinks with a particularly floral title at the counter.

Then she is diverted by Muu, who breaks away from the queue, nods briefly to Ai, who is now at the front, and then half-dances past Toyoko and Sayuri. She enters next to Rei, presenting her back to her, and concentrates fully on the new arrivals.

"That's why it's a bit crowded, I'm afraid. Still, we're sure to get a table. But no matter." Muu's voice abruptly loses its flute-like cheerfulness, causing Rei to turn to her to scrutinize her face. She gives Yui and Sayu an intense look. "All done?"

Sayu crosses her arms in front of her chest. Instead of answering, she presses her lips together.

Rei sees that Muu is about to say something, but Yui jumps in: "All done!" She puts on an almost mischievous smile, but Rei finds that the expression in her eyes doesn't quite match the picture. Then Yui's eyes dart in her direction and make contact. "...We had a nice talk, don't you think, Sayu-chan?"

She nudges the girl with the bottom of her elbows.

"Certainly," Sayu murmurs softly.

"I'm glad to hear that!", Muu half exclaims, and it kind of sounds like praise to Rei's ears.

"You've been here before, Muu-chan?", Ai now asks from further ahead, after the group has moved a step or two after a customer left the line with their order.

"Indeed I have! I haven't had a chance to try the whole menu yet, but I can certainly make a few recommendations if anyone is unsure about what to order!"

She sighs in relief afterward and floats a step forward, directly to Reis' left, before her limbs visibly relax. Muu leans her head back and closes her eyes. She gives the impression of a cat sunbathing. It briefly brings back memories of a sunset on the school roof, but Rei quickly shakes it off. Still, she can't help but stare. A crowded café with admittedly pretty brass lamps is no justification for Rei to bask in the artificial light. Especially with all the crowds in front and behind them.

Almost as if on cue, the line moves again and Rei already has Muu's name on the tip of her tongue, but her notice is not needed. Still blind, Muu makes up the distance. It's oddly impressive.

Rei gives the lamp another critical look. It's unsatisfactory at best. True, the black metal is graceful, reminiscent of one of those old lanterns that could be found in European old towns. But for Rei, the most important thing is missing: the tickling warmth of the sun's rays. She gives Muu another glance, feeling almost inclined to judge her, because how can Muu not notice? On the other hand, Muu doesn't seem to have much appreciation for the sun.

Muu's eyelids flutter open. Not quite. It's just a little gap that allows her to give Rei a little sideways glance, supported by a smile.

"Just as I thought," she purrs.

"What?"

Muu chuckles softly. It's not the girlish, bell-like giggle she usually uses. It's very quiet, not a hiss, much more a humming or buzzing that reminds Rei of cicadas perhaps. Or bees.

"Oh, I just knew it would be you asking me for a recommendation, Rei-chan," she murmurs, still underlined by that sound. Her relaxed posture loosens. Rei notices for the first time that Muu is a few centimeters taller than her. It's strange that she only notices it now.

It's hardly a noticeable difference, but right now it feels like Muu is staring down at her from above.

"I must have convinced you of my excellent taste."

Muu's gaze briefly passes over her lips. Rei crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"I doubt anything will be worth its price."

Muu's eyes twinkle in amusement at that.

"Good reminder." She clears her throat again, phony, before saying a little louder, "Oh, by the way, I forgot to make it clear that I'm inviting you guys, of course!"

Muu is immediately inundated with thank-yous and protests that it's impossible to accept something like that.

"It's just too nice!" says Ai and Sayuri nods in agreement.

Rei can barely give them a glance, she's too focused on Muu. The same smile is on her lips as just a moment ago. Rei's eyes dart briefly up to the lamp. Now Muu's basking makes some sense.

"It's only fair!" she says in her sweetest voice. "It was my suggestion to go here, and I'm the only one who's been here before. I couldn't stand it if you spent your money on something you might not like in the end! I'd like to be in charge!"

"Oh, Muu-chan!" exclaims Toyoko delightedly. "That's so thoughtful of you! Thank you!"

Muu quickly raises her hands defensively, her smile turning sheepish. She even blushes a little. "No need to thank me! Although..." She taps her chin with her index finger as if something has occurred to her. "There is one thing you can do! Don't mention it and don't even think about paying me back!"

She gets a few laughs in return, before the attention turns away from Muu with the next person leaving the line, the conversation mostly revolving around Muu's kindness, Rei overhears.

Then she notices Muu watching her.

"Thank you, Kusunoki-san. That's very- Ow!" Before Rei can finish the sentence, Muu has suddenly raised her hand and flicked her cheek with her finger. Rei flinches in surprise. It even hurt a little. Her hand moves to her cheek. "What was that for?"

Muu shrugs her shoulders.

"You clearly weren't listening~ I said the only form of gratitude is not thanking me for it!"

Rei rubs her cheek and to make matters worse, she can feel herself blushing.

"I was just trying to be polite," she says somewhat sharply.

Muu gives her a soothing look. "You don't have to be polite with me. But how about this, I'll make it up to you by giving you a recommendation. How do you like that, Rei-chan?"

Chapter Text

Rei ends with a Golden Caramel White Mocha Latte. Of course on Muu's recommendation. She doesn't even get to order her drink herself, instead Muu does it for her, which Rei doesn't think is as terrible as she'd like, especially when she witnesses Muu not only calling the names of the drinks flawlessly, but also making a ton of extra requests ( winking at Rei with a "Trust me on this!") and then, to top it all off, starting small talk with the barista. Socializing seems so easy when Muu does it.

Muu then confidently leads them through the spacious café and finds a table for them. There are a few cozy backed chairs and a corner seat where Rei lands.

Muu and Sayuri sit next to her, depriving Rei of any chance of making a quick escape. Even more awkward is that about everyone wants to start a conversation with Muu, so Rei finds herself constantly at the center of the group's attention beside her.

"You were so right about the Magical Matcha, Muu-chan," Ai enthuses about her drink. "You have such good taste!"

"Oh, Ai-chan! I don't know what I did to deserve all this praise," Muu chats cheerfully. "I was so scared that you wouldn't like it, but then again, I already helped Rei today and she praised me too! Right, Rei-chan?"

"Mhmm," Rei agrees vaguely and quickly takes a sip of her (admittedly, unfortunately, incredibly good tasting) drink to avoid having to elaborate. 

"Is that so?" Toyoko joins in the conversation and Rei catches Sayuri's analyzing look.

"Yup, I was there!" Yui confirms to make matters worse. Rei takes a bigger sip in an attempt to hide behind her cup and burns her tongue. Muu grins at her.

Don't do it...

"Oh, you really didn't notice anything about Rei?"

Oh no.

Rei chokes on her next sip and has to put the cup down to cough. It makes her situation minimally worse at best, because it's already happened. Everyone's eyes are already on her.

Sayuri pats her on the back helpfully, but even she is staring and now Rei is blushing too. She tries to give Muu a scowl but doesn't quite succeed, still racked with coughs and Muu just stares back innocently, but there's an amused glint in her eyes.

"Well, it's kinda wearing of by now..." continues Muu, smiling. "I can make it for you again, Rei-chan! Right about now, I have it in my bag~"

"Like what?", Ai asks and she sounds a bit envious. Rei gives her a look, then Toyoko. They have a longing expression as if to say, do it to me too, whatever it is....

"Muu lent Rei make-up!" Yui blurts out light-heartedly, her voice a little too loud as usual. Rei sinks down in frustration. Well, at least she's the center of attention now, but Rei has been too happy too soon, because Yui continues blithely, "Lipstick, to be exact, but Rei-chan rocked it, it looked cute!"

And the eyes are on her again. Great.

Rei stares intently at her cup.

"Hmmm," says Toyoko after a moment's hesitation. "Somehow I don't really see anything."

"Well, it's already worn off, like Muu-chan said!" Ai interjects. "But I'm sure you looked cute, Rei-san!"

"Look, Ai-chan, that's where you're wrong," Muu says, her voice lecturing. Rei watches out of the corner of her eye as an anxious expression flits across Ai's face. "Rei is already cute!"

Okay, that's enough, Rei thinks and gives Muu the deadliest look she can muster. What was she thinking, following Muu here? It was clear that she only extended the invitation to make fun of her. After all, that's how it's always been with popular girls.

Muu's expression remains innocent. Needless to say, Ai now joins in on Muu's joke, while Yui looks completely oblivious to what's going on. Toyoko makes a comment about Rei's supposedly "beautiful eyes" as if Muu hadn't already found enough to make fun of. It has to be a joke, right?

Rei can't help but compare herself to Muu. Like every girl in her year, no doubt. Muu has no outward inconsistencies at all. She is beautiful. Some days, Rei feels like her appearance consists only of things that make her feel insecure. When she was alone with Muu in the bathroom, it was different. She let Muu talk her into it, because... well. She believed Muu. But now, in this situation where everyone is witnessing, her words don't feel good.

Everyone stares at her and Rei hardly dares to look at them, too afraid of finding hemic amusement or incomprehension that someone like Muu would say something like that about someone like Rei, among those who haven't yet realized it's a joke. Rei wants to get away. She wants to hide her face.

"Wow," Sayu says sarcastically and Rei looks up.

Relief sweeps through her as all eyes turn from her to her classmate.

It's the first time Sayu has said anything since they were standing in line.

"What," Muu asks, but something stronger is bubbling under the surface, Rei senses. "You didn't think Rei looked cute with my lipstick on, Sayu-chan?"

"I thought we were here to learn. Instead, we're talking about useless topics. You know, Yui certainly needs the practice," Sayu counters, then she catches Rei's gaze and hers gets angrier.

Well, Rei had already suspected that her classmate didn't really like her, so it confuses her even more that she detects something like sympathy alongside the frustration. She can't quite put her finger on where this might come from.

Instead, Rei can sense the tense atmosphere at the table. She sees Yui's strained expression. No wonder, given the sharp comment, but Rei also can feel how everyone is waiting for Muu. For her signal, her judgment, her acceptance of the obvious argument that is about to break out. She also knows that no one will stand up for Sayu. Sayu - the only one of Muu's friends who hasn't just made fun of Rei.

She even actively refused, Rei realizes.

Almost with anxious anticipation, she finally looks to the side. She is ready to see Muu's challenging look. She expects anger and combativeness and delicacy. Rei is not ready for what she sees instead. A terrible feeling of guilt immediately overwhelms her.

Muu's lower lip trembles. She is not crying, but vulnerability lies in her eyes. Her face is open and the expression reminds Rei too much of the situation in the bathroom that a spark of irrational anger immediately flares up inside her, which she tries to mentally stomp out.

"I just don't get it, Sayu-chan," she whimpers, "I invited you. I thought we could have a nice time with friends while studying. Wh-what did Muu do wrong?"

Muu looks around helplessly. Yui puts a comforting hand on her shoulder and stares angrily at Sayu, whose expression remains unchanged.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Muu," Yui says in a trembling voice.

Sayu's look becomes angrier. Rei gives the others at the table a scrutinizing look. Toyoko looks uncomfortable, Ai looks upset and Sayuri...

Suddenly it beeps. Sayu's cell phone, lying on the table, lights up. She is receiving a call.

It rings for a brief moment, which feels like an eternity to Rei.

"You might wanna get this," Yui presses out.

With that, the spell breaks and Sayu takes the call as she stands up. She's quickly out of the coffee shop, armed with her jacket and bag, and doesn't give the table another glance. Rei hears her answer the call with an accented greeting and feels Muu slump beside her.

She takes a look and realizes that her classmate's head is hanging down. Rei's hand twitches. She tries to conceal the movement by reaching for her cup again. Nevertheless. She can't help but just let go of all her anger and embarrassment at Muu's joke as her voice sounds almost completely broken:

"I screwed up again, didn't I?", Muu asks meekly.

"No, she did!" Yui now hisses with pent-up anger.

"I hate her for taking it out on you." Ai gives Muu a sympathetic look, and when Muu thanks her with barely a whisper, her face softens a touch more. Yui nods in agreement.

"She's such a bitch!" The three girls immediately stare at Toyoko strangely. Her blue eyes dart back and forth between their faces in incomprehension as uncertainty becomes more visible on her own. "I-isn't that right?"

"I-I... I think...," Sayuri suddenly says, and Rei is a little taken aback. Her friend doesn't fall silent, even when all eyes turn to her. "Sayu-san must be stressed from all the school."

Rei watches as Ai and Yui exchange glances. Toyoko still looks unsure. To Rei, it just sounds like a stupid excuse. But then Muu speaks. "That'll be it." Her voice is not quite composed, but friendly and gentle. She wipes her cheek. Rei must have missed that a tear escaped her after all. Then Muu smiles gratefully. "I'm just being a bit dramatic. Exams and schoolwork have been a lot, haven't they?"

"Plus there's the teachers' conference tomorrow!" groans Ai.

"Conference?" Rei finally speaks up, immediately earning incomprehensible looks.

"Didn't you see it on the schedule, Rei-chan?" Yui asks curiously, while Ai already pulls out her cell phone.

The school has an internal website where the current timetable for the week can be accessed, which informs students about last-minute absences or substitutions, but where they can also view news and the canteen's meal plan. There is even a chat system, which the clubs in particular use to recruit new members.

"I didn't see it at first either, until Makoto-san from 2D posted a message!" explains Ai and then holds the current plan under her nose.

The lesson directly after the lunch break is marked in red.

"So the fourth lesson is canceled? But what kind of conference is this?"

Muu shakes her head at Rei's questions and looks at the group with an indulgent expression. "That's right, you're still new, Rei-chan! That no one has informed you though..." She glances at Sayuri over Rei. Rei follows it questioningly.

Sayuri looks apologetic. "It's... nothing to worry about, Rei" - Yui laughs bitterly at this - "The teachers get together every term for something like this. They sometimes talk about the students' grades and the individual difficulties of the class in order to plan the content for the next term and then about other incidents!"

"So they discuss the grades..." Rei mumbles.

Muu hums in agreement. "It starts at lunchtime, but usually continues into the next lesson, sometimes skipping it depending on the amount of content."

"It can only benefit us," Toyoko joins in the conversation. "We can study a bit more during the break tomorrow!"

"Funny you bring that up," Muu says, but she sounds only mildly amused. "Time to remind everyone why we're here. That counts you in, too, Yui."

Yui responds with a groan and Rei has to grimace, then they all set about squeezing their papers and calculators onto the table.

Rei is filled with gratitude that they have actually changed the subject. She starts to help move the cups and saucers around so that everyone has space. Her hand quickly finds her own cup, but she instantly freezes in her movement when Muu's hand lands on hers. She manages not to outwardly flinch, however.

A million thoughts race through her head. Now she notices the hint of Muu's lipstick that remains too clearly and has to actively force herself not to lick her lips in her nervousness.

The question is clear: why was Muu making fun of her? Because it must be a joke. Dragging her and Sayuri here just to reveal to their circle of friends what they did during the break. Rei agreed because she thought she was sharing a secret with Muu (and Yui). If she were one of them - pretty and popular - it would be less of a mystery and more of an honest nicety. But like this. Muu has marked her. And the trail that Rei thought was an intimate poem has become a billboard.

But what does Muu have to prove with this?

Now that their hands are accidentally touching, Rei thinks she has found the answer. Muu thinks she is someone she can push around. Someone who doesn't stick to their word. Someone who caves in quickly. Someone Rei was for a long time. But not anymore. Never again. After all, this is her new beginning.

Someone like that would flinch in the current situation and withdraw their hand as if they had been burned. She would look for something else to do to cover up what had happened.

Rei does not. She keeps her hand in place - it's her cup, after all - and waits for Muu to withdraw instead.

...Except Muu doesn't.

So, after this brief hesitation and moment of invisible force-measuring for everyone else present, they move the cup and saucer across the table's surface in a slow, sliding motion.

Rei stares down, suspecting that she might buckle if she dared to meet Muu's gaze. Something deep in her subconscious seethes at the image she sees instead. Muu is wearing pale pink nail polish and two gold rings with small gems. Their metal triggers tiny shivers of cold on Rei's fingers.

It ends without any witnesses. No one at the table notices what has just happened. Rei thinks it's for the best. Surely it is she who is once again attributing meaning to things that do not exist.

She quickly tries to distract her thoughts and throws herself into her first math problem. She makes far too many mistakes when she enters partial calculations into the calculator.

Yui breaks out in another theatrical fit. It consists of an anguished howl, the dramatic tossing aside of her pencil and the words "Never, never, never will I pass this!" This time, however, she emphasizes it with another gesture and hits the table. Her hand doesn't exactly strike the surface with much force, but the cups at least clink a little and Sayuri winces.

Rei can say for herself that she is doing better. She has gotten used to these outbursts after the third time.

Meanwhile, Muu sips the drink of their second round next to her. Something just as extravagant as her first. Rei tries to ignore the tinge of envy and looks at her own drink a little glumly - a simple cappuccino. She may have taken her cue from Sayuri just a little out of pettiness this time. If she could have regular coffee to spare, she might be able to enjoy the quality of the beans. Muu even made a comment about it.

Rei is undecided about the hint of Muu's secret coffee expertise. She thought they had a sweet tooth in common.

"I don't get it either..." mumbles Ai, but her eyes are on Yui's papers. "How do you always manage to miscalculate so much?"

"I don't even know where I took a wrong turn..." mumbles Yui resignedly.

Sayuri pushes her own calculation across the table. She has to lean forward to reach the paper and point to the most important parts of the steps with her pen. "This step," she explains quietly. "You can also break down into another sub-step. Maybe that will help you."

Yui stares wide-eyed at the bill, then looks up and looks at Sayuri for help.

"Teach me!" she demands loudly, causing a girl at the next table to give them a quizzical look. "Please Sayuri! You're my only hope!"

Without waiting for an answer, she jumps up and makes everyone scoot so she can sit next to Sayuri. It causes Rei to awkwardly perch on Muu while she barely moves.

In general, she acts unnaturally calm, with a constant smile on her face.

Rei can't quite decide whether it reminds her more of a lazy cat on a summer afternoon or a predatory feline on the prowl.

The afternoon passes by slowly and quickly at the same time, Rei thinks. Doing math together, interrupted by Muu persuading them to order another round, Toyoko's light anecdotes and Ai and Sayuri's growing desperation to help Yui are as constant a companion as the ticking of a clock or the chatter of the other café patrons around them.

Time passes fast as Rei bumbles from task to task and yet - when Toyoko is the first to head home and Ai joins her, Rei feels as if she has woken up after a long night.

She can feel the weight of concentrated work on every fiber of her body, along with a mental wall that instantly spreads as the realization sets in that she can't do any more studying today. Well, at least not math.

Muu leaves without many words shortly afterwards. It's a quiet, cautious exit, as Sayuri explains her current calculation to Yui in a soft tone. The two of them are so focused that they barely notice Muu's departure. Only Rei lifts her head and looks at her.

Muu meets her gaze shortly after she releases the other two. Something in her face lights up.

The café's lighting hasn't changed, but looking outside, all that can be seen is darkness and the warm glow of distant lanterns refracted in the scattered raindrops running down the windowpane.

But now, as Muu catches her eye and realizes that she is being seen, it almost seems to Rei as if the light is changing. As if she were beginning to shine.

Only the shadow of a smile crosses Muu's lips as she simply nods. Rei tastes words of farewell on her tongue, along with a thank you. She holds back both. Afraid that if she utters the words, they will take on a greater meaning than is warranted. So she nods back. And Muu leaves.

Rei and Sayuri are the last to go. Yui has hurried off at lightning speed after glancing at her cell phone. Finding that she has forgotten an appointment, she runs out of the café into the storm in a partly-put on jacket before they can react.

Rei sees her silhouette hurrying past the window in the direction of the school as she packs up her things.

Sayuri and her take the cups to the counter before stuffing all the rest into their bags. Rei hears Sayuri take a startled breath as she organizes her notes. She glances at them. Yui's handwriting is unmistakable.

Sayuri runs to the door of the coffee shop before Rei can suggest that they can give her the notes tomorrow. It's almost a miracle when a dark figure on a bicycle rides past the café, slowing her gait.

The bell above the door rings loudly as Sayuri pulls it open. The sound of the rain becomes more present in the room for a moment. Underneath, Rei hears the echo of Yui's voice as she pulls her jacket closed. She reaches out to wave to the figure at the door, grabbing Sayuri's bag and jacket, but by the time she gets to her, her classmate is already driving up the street.

Sayuri only notices Rei after she has closed the door. She is slightly startled, but thanks her for bringing her the jacket.

A strange, tingling feeling catches up with Rei as they both bend over the basket full of umbrellas to look for hers.

A discovery distracts Rei briefly as her fingers run over the handle of a green umbrella. It is wooden and the shade of green reminds her of pine or lake water. The metal accents on the handle testify to its quality. Perhaps the umbrella is an antique. It particularly catches her eye, as Rei had thought the same thing about this umbrella earlier that day. 

Sayuri gives her a questioning look, then the umbrella, which Rei picks up.

"It's Sayu-san's," she explains to her, blindly groping for her own umbrella.

The contrast between the practical plastic umbrella from the convenience store and this antique is almost laughable. Rei can imagine fine ladies from the past, equipped with this accessory, ready to embark on a long sea voyage.

"It's so pretty!" Sayuri comments now and Rei tears herself away from the sight.

"I'll give it back to her tomorrow."

She can see Sayuri smiling in the reflection of the store door as they leave the café.

The rain outside is less torrential, but it's still heavy. Sayuri suggests that they share an umbrella and Rei agrees. She puts her practical model in her bag and takes off Rei's.

It relieves her on one hand, since she already feels weird carrying two umbrellas at once, but on the other, she feels bad that Sayuri is carrying it.

Then there's a brief flash of memory and then a strange noise beside her.

It almost makes Rei freeze in her movement. The street in front of them is dark, half-flooded. The only lights provide brightly lit living and dining rooms, offering glimpses of the families who occupy these sweet single-family homes and duplexes, and the lanterns.

White headlights appear on the street and a car speeds past. The impact of the wheels causes the puddles on the road to ripple and Rei doesn't have to look to see that Sayuri - who is walking close to the road - has been hit by the splashes.

The strange noise stops briefly and then returns with more force. Rei is confused. She glances at her and then... then that warm, tickling feeling returns as she realizes Sayuri is laughing. Bright. Omitting. And blatantly.

It's almost contagious.

"What?" asks Rei, trying to hold back a grin.

Her current feelings are quite conflicted. She can clearly see the splashes of water on Sayuri's tights and even on her skirt and wants to shout something after the reckless driver's receding red taillights, but on the other hand... She feels-

"It's just," Sayuri starts and interrupts herself with a laugh. Rei can only stare at her wide-eyed. She almost feels as if she's seeing her for the first time.

Sayuri tries again, but the wind suddenly picks up and pushes hard against the umbrella. Rei's hand reaches over Sayuri's as they lean against the gust and the plastic bends. Sayuri's laughter is so loud that it drowns out the pattering of the drops.

"I had so much fun!" Sayuri shouts against the storm.

With that, the wind dies down and Rei's throat tightens.

It was her goal, her argument for why she agreed to all of today. To give Sayuri a chance to make better friends. She seemed to have a good connection with Ai and Yui. Rei should be happy. So why the hell does she suddenly feel so anxious? She had been happy just a moment ago and now...

"It was nice, wasn't it?" she forces herself to say. "Spending time with the others?"

Sayuri's laugh sounds a little different now.

"Sure, I guess!" she says curtly and then turns her face. Rei does the same so that they can look at each other. Sayuri's face is lit up by the lantern light. It reminds Rei of Muu and at the same moment, not at all. "It was the first time," Sayuri says, an honest smile crossing her lips. "That we did something together, Rei. Outside of school, I mean."

It leaves Rei without breath for a second. She can feel herself smiling even as she processes the words.

"Fuc- Screw them, right?" asks Sayuri softly, then laughs sheepishly. "Kidding! They're nice, but that's what I especially like! You and I have spent some time together!"

"Well, technically, we just worked for the school too...", Rei notes with a laugh and lowers her eyes. She feels nearly embarrassed, her heart fluttering, because for some reason Sayuri still seems to want to be friends with her, even though she's now been given prospects of friendship with much more interesting people.

Sayuri slaps her playfully on the arm for the comment, but she still laughs and Rei joins in. The rain lets up and they finally reach the intersection that leads to the station. It's lively here, with groups of friends hanging out in front of resteraunts and couples strolling along the street.

After Inori left school, mundanities have made Rei feel lonely. It's strange how things like that can turn your life upside down.

She didn't really have any trouble making friends. She had regular get-togethers with the kids from the neighborhood. Later, when she got to middle school, she knew some of the students from elementary school or even kindergarten. She saw people at club activities and weekend events and could talk to them, but she didn't really have someone to talk to, someone she could confide in - a good friend. Until Inori.

She shakes off the thought and glances at Sayuri out of the corner of her eye. She's still carrying the umbrella, and Rei notices that whenever they have to cross an intersection or dodge someone, she takes extra care to keep Rei dry.

Something bittersweet takes hold of Rei. The fear of letting people get too close... It makes her vulnerable and, as she's learned, it's not a good idea to trust people too quickly. But then there are people who are simply kind-hearted. So different from Rei.

Rei is not a good person. Or a friend. If she had been, she might not even be here. Maybe she would still go to class with Inori and ride her bike back from school to a quiet neighborhood.

It's wrong to give Sayuri the burden. It's wrong for her to treat her with nothing but kindness and hope. It's wrong for Rei to want nothing more than to open up to this caring person at this moment.

And it's wrong for Rei to ask her to.

"Huh?"

Sayuri startles as she folds up her shrine when they both arrive at the railroad track. Her gaze is immediately friendly as Rei murmurs her name.

Rei's throat feels dry again and she's scared, because even if she ignores all the reasons the voices in her head keep listing, there's still the fear of rejection.

"Shall we..." she says slowly, on the verge of swallowing it all and apologizing. Normal people don’t talk this formal. She should give up. Should stop right now. But something stubborn gains the upper hand at the last second. "Let's do something together again soon, okay?"

The honest smile that blossoms on Sayuri's face almost makes all her worries fizzle out at once.

Chapter Text

Rei is one of the last students to hand in the exam. This is often the case with her. She tends to write or correct her answers until the last minute - usually from the right result to the wrong one.

This time, however, she doesn't have such a bad feeling as she hands the teacher the papers for her science exam, her bag already on her shoulder. Surely that will change in the next few hours, but Rei wants to avoid it completely today. It's a strangely sunny and almost warm weather. Apart from the exams that decide grades, Rei actually likes the days when tests are written.

They wrote the paper in the first hour. Perhaps an advantage, Rei thinks as she approaches the exit and casts a pitying glance at the handful of classmates still writing. Now she has at least one thing behind her. Before the sheet was handed out, she had thought differently. It was still dark outside and the class mingled with students carrying textbooks, notes and flashcards, those staring blindly into space or out of the window, a few chattering groups talking and those carefully arranging pencils, spare pens, rulers, highlighters, chewing gum and water bottles on their desks.

Writing in a later lesson would have given them all some more time to study, but now that science is done, the rest of the day can be confidently devoted to the final boss: Math.

Rei enters the corridor. The morning sun shines through the high windows and reflects on the tiled floor. The rays of sunlight illuminate Sayuri's hair alongside her body as she stands waiting directly in front of one of the windows. She smiles radiantly.

"So!" she asks cheerfully, without waiting for an answer. Her step is a little erratic as she approaches Rei. "It wasn't so bad, was it?"

Her voice echoes down the hallway a bit, causing Sayuri to speak quieter as she goes.

Rei smiles, because it's only morning and one of the exams is behind her. There's nothing she can do about her answers now anyway and she has a good feeling.

"I should have passed."

 Sayuri shakes her head playfully and hooks up with her. It's almost become something natural.

"You always underestimate yourself! But do you know what we've earned now?"

Sayuri grins broadly and Rei feels herself returning it, instantly, at the sudden thought.

"Vending machine cocoa?"

Sayuri beams and her step becomes even bouncier. "You betcha!"

As second period dawns and they return to the classroom, Rei is hit with a whole series of realizations: first, she would have to take the math exam tomorrow, even though she doesn't feel nearly ready enough. Second, there is the somewhat positive prospect that the probable absence of the fifth lesson due to the teachers' conference would provide some extra study time. Third, and finally, Rei forgot to get Sayu's umbrella out of her shoe locker. Well, at least she had brought it to school today after forgetting it at home on Tuesday.

Originally, she had intended to give Sayu the umbrella back before the test, but as usual, science was taking place in the labs and everyone was busy with themselves and studying before the exam anyway, so Rei didn't risk upsetting Sayu. 

Sayu seems to be behaving a bit strangely, Rei notices as the lesson progresses. She's still sitting in one of the front seats right behind Muu and next to Yui, but she seems to be absent the whole lesson and keeps giving the window side strange looks.

Once Rei catches her in the act, she does the same. Her eyes find another girl who is behaving strangely, although her expression immediately darkens at the sight.

Chiyo stares fixedly at the surface of her desk. Her hands rest in her lap and her hair covers almost the entirety of her face. She doesn't seem to fit in. Next to Rei and Sayuri, a few girls are whispering and pencils are being borrowed a couple of rows ahead of them. Everyone is making a note of the dates and a few key points that Sensei Musora is writing on the blackboard, but Chiyo remains completely motionless.

Then something strange happens.

As if her classmate had noticed that Rei was actively staring holes in the back of her head, she wakes up from her stupor. Her head twitches briefly, then moves from right to left. And then she turns around. Just like that, she stares directly into Rei's eyes.

Six other rows of seats separate them on the incline, and it's coincidence enough that Hiro-chan is leaning over her sheet of paper just enough to clear the air so that they can even make eye contact.

And now she feels like she's been caught doing something forbidden.

Chiyo seems to feel the same way. She breaks contact immediately, turns around and follows the events of the lesson. Her expression remains in Rei's conscience nonetheless. Something is terribly different about Chiyo.

But why should Rei care?

After the second lesson, Sayuri moans and Rei loses herself in an exaggerated whining contest with her about how bad the approaching class test would be. Her classmates join in as they all pull their materials for the next lesson - English - out of their bags.

Rei decides to pick up Sayu's umbrella during lunch break, then Sayuri asks her if she's read a certain light novel yet, to which Rei replies negatively. Sayuri is almost offended by this. "I'll see if there's a copy in the library! I promise you, it will change your life."

"You could just lend me your book, Sari-chan," Rei teases.

Sayuri blushes, maybe because of the nickname or maybe because she says, "I-I would, but I already lent it to someone... a while ago."

Which suggests to Rei that this isn't the first time Sayuri has had this conversation.

When the lunch break finally begins, any residual tension from the previous exam breaks away from the students. The sun shines brightly through the windows, as if it has forgotten that winter is approaching. The air today is surprisingly warm and the wind is mild. Classmates to Rei's left and right suggest going to the schoolyard or the cafeteria, some even illegally leaving the school grounds to get an iced coffee on the go from the new café. Rei can forgive and understand it, after all, you have to take advantage of the extra break.

Sayuri stuffs her materials into her bag as she excitedly tells Rei about the light novel that Rei must read. Her voice jumps a little and she has a talent for creating curiosity for her interests. But then Rei is momentarily distracted when her eyes fall on Muu.

She's laughing with Yui and Ai about something. Sayu is standing next to them. She smiles thinly, but her gaze is quite dismissive. And a few meters beside her, there's Chiyo. On the direct path to Rei.

Rei is doing it before she realizes it. Tugging Sayuri by the sleeve, Rei stares in Chiyo's direction while listening to her heartbeat in her ears.

"I have to get Sayu's umbrella," she says quickly. "B-but you wanted to look for the book? Let's meet at the library right away, shall we?"

There's a hint of doubt in Sayuri's gaze, and Rei is still pulling her arm as she deliberately gives Chiyo the cold shoulder. The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand up as the certainty sets in that they absolutely have to leave the classroom, because that expression- Chiyo's face...

Fortunately, Sayuri is quickly distracted by this novel, which she seems to like so much. She practically runs out of the classroom with a quick goodbye. Rei carelessly stuffs the last of her remaining belongings into her bag, intending to make a quick exit as well, while keeping an eye on the group in front of her.

Chiyo is still prancing a few steps beside them and in Rei's direction. She even says her name, very quietly, but Rei understands and takes a step backwards, glancing at the door. But it’s too late.

The other remaining group of girls leaves the classroom in heated discussion about a music band, while Muu and Co seem to be waiting for Yui to finally put all their things away.

"Hey," Chiyo says, reaching her, but without looking her in the eye "I... I lost all my papers in math, and I was wondering if you could lend me something? It doesn't matter what, just... anything, really."

"You thought of that early," Rei comments, and Chiyo winces. Out of the corner of her eye, Rei glances at Muu and the others, but so far no one seems to notice the interaction. "I'm not exactly a model student in math. Don't think anything I gave you would do you much good... Sorry."

Chiyo doesn't comment on Rei's obvious sorry-not-sorry apology and even looks a little hopeful.

"Please." There is something painfully familiar in Chiyo's voice.

Rei forces herself to look her in the eye. It's not fair. Chiyo had made Muu cry. She's just as bad a person as the girls from Rei's former school. The girls who had bullied Inori, even though she hadn't done anything – nothing at all –

But you didn't always care that much, did you? A nasty voice whispers in the back of her mind. You think you’re so innocent. But you have done nothing. Nothing, when you could have prevented-

Rei grits her teeth and stares angrily at Chiyo. Chiyo, who sounds broken and wears this expression of helplessness that doesn't suit her, that doesn't belong to her. It distracts her from her own thoughts.

Rei's right hand twitches. The sound of a breaking bone echoes in her ear. Just for a millisecond.

"Can you ask Sayuri then?" she asks as it becomes painfully obvious that Rei wouldn't lend someone like Chiyo anything.

"I don't think so," Rei says curtly, forcing herself to smile, then she turns away resolutely and looks helpfully at Sayu, who stares at her in surprise. "Would you come with me for a moment, Sayu-san?"

Rei immediately bites her tongue after calling out to her. It's an invitation to the next confrontation, after all Sayu hates her... well at least she can't really stand her.

So Rei is all the more surprised when Sayu actually nods in Muu's direction after a quick scrutinizing glance. She walks past Chiyo without giving her a glance and grabs Rei's arm, pulling her out of the room.

Her nearly fleeing stride continues down the entire hallway.

"How did she manage to lose her notes?" Sayu says in an indefinable tone as they reach the stairs.

Rei feels her facial muscles tighten even more as she stares grimly holes into the steps they're descending. It's not her problem that Chiyo is a mean, racist bitch on top of being a messy one. This isn't elementary school anymore, and any Japanese girl who survived middle school will agree that school is not a cute little family club. They compete against each other here. Fighting for the fastest answer, the best solution, the best exam result, the best reputation. If Chiyo were a nice person, she would already have problems getting real help. In the end, if Chiyo failed the exam, it would be the fault of Rei's messy papers.

"You really have to be a whole other level of incompetent", Sayu now repeated.

As Rei's thoughts have gotten darker and darker, Sayu has spoken up several times now, always spitting out a new phrase concerning Chiyo's loss of notes. It's clear that she wanted to talk about Chiyo or was trying to find out something.

"Don't you agree?" Sayu probes again, painfully obvious.

They turn the corner and Rei can see the shoe cabinets.

"I don't know how you lose something like that, but I think it can happen. Study on the train and accidentally leave your notebook, put it in a weird place in the house... It's really nothing that unusual Sayu-san."

'Sayu-san' seems anything but thrilled with Rei's answer, Rei remarks with the small wish she had never asked Sayu to come along. Wait. What does she want from her again? Oh yeah, right. The need to escape the awkward situation with Chiyo was almost so great that she forgot what she originally wanted from her classmate.

"I don't care if she fails or not, either."

This seems to wake Sayu, who has been staring at her suspiciously. Her look and tone are almost indignant.

"You really don't?" she asks pointedly and her gait quickens a little. "That's quite a statement, you know?"

Rei frowns, trying to keep up with rising annoyance. That was a mistake. What's Sayu's problem anyway? She seemed desperate to talk about Chiyo, and now that Rei had thrown the ball back, she only seems more upset. And why should Rei care if Chiyo passes the exam?

"I don't quite understand..." she tries to formulate calmly, but before she can even manage a complete sentence, Sayu interrupts her.

"Well, that's not surprising," she says in the same condescending tone and then stops so abruptly that Rei almost runs into her. Sayu straightens her back and glances over her shoulder. Rei stares in return.

Sayu's expression is almost thoughtful and something in her face softens.

"But are you serious?" she asks almost quietly now.

"What?" Rei asks, irritated.

The coarseness beneath Sayu's fine, almost fox-like features returns immediately. She squints her eyes slightly before leaning against one of the shoe cabinets they have now reached, arms crossed.

"Kind advice," Sayu says in a tone that doesn't sound kind at all. "You should also keep in mind in future not to interfere in things you don't understand."

"I'm not interfering in anything," Rei says firmly, even if in the same breath she thinks it's more of a lie than the truth. Something stubborn in her nevertheless lets herself in for it, because it's obvious that Sayu wants a fight. She was going to get it. Even if the small voice of Rei's remaining sanity is yelling at Rei right now that this is a stupid idea.

"It's better this way. You're new here. You don't know anyone here. Not me. Not Chiyo. Or Muu."

Rei bites her tongue before she blurts out carelessly. It's obvious Sayu is trying to get her to do something. Wait. Did she maybe want Rei to give Chiyo the notes?

The thought makes her frown.

"I... You're right, I'm still pretty new," she says slowly as she continues to think. Her thought leads nowhere; after all, if Sayu wanted people to help Chiyo, she could have easily done it herself. "But I've seen how Chiyo treated Muu. I think that was enough for me to form an opinion."

"And I'm sure Muu appreciates your concern for her. It's nice that you care about someone you - I repeat - don't know," Sayu says shortly. She gives a dismissive wave of her hand. "Keep it up and we might all become friends, but then you should be true to your word, right? You're not going to give Chiyo any materials?"

Before Rei can answer, Sayu's curt tone changes and her voice becomes serious again, making her next words almost threatening: "Because I assure you, Rei, everyone will know if you do."

Rei swallows. Sayu wants to make sure that she doesn't give Chiyo the notes, although that's almost out of the question.

"Why is it important?" she asks instead. A few hours with someone else's notes until the exam wouldn't help Chiyo much anyway. "After all, we're writing the exam tomorrow - "

"What's your goal, Rei?" Sayu asks suddenly.

"A goal? I - I don't have a goal! I don't meddle anywhere and - " 

"Of course! Since you've been here, you've been meddling in everything."

"I'm not!"

Rei feels the need to run. She thinks back to the situation at the café when Muu made fun of her - well, she probably did. Back then, she thought Sayu was defending her from the others.

Now Sayu is angry with her. And Rei shouldn't care, because Sayu has always expressed that she doesn't particularly like Rei. But then there are moments like now. Just like back at the café, there seems to be something behind her mask of displeasure. Because suddenly Sayu looks thoughtful again and her posture relaxes slightly.

"...Maybe you really don't. And it would be better that way. But there's something about you that Muu keeps dragging you to everything. I... I don't understand it."

Rei has the awkward realization that she's blushing. She has to resist the urge to squirm under Sayu's analyzing gaze. Because Sayu struck at exactly the right spot and asked the question that's always in the back of Rei's mind. What is Muu's motive with her?

And yet. She sees the lights, a sparsely lit street blurred by the water bouncing off her umbrella. Under the sounds of the thunderstorm, she hears her own voice and the spoken challenge.

But be warned, Muu had said. If I want something, I'll get it.

Well there was nothing Rei had. Nothing special. Touché. And yet, back then in the rain. She smiled at me.

Sayu seems to realize at the same moment as Rei that they've been staring at each other alone in the hallway a little too long. While Rei quickly looks down, she can just see Sayu's expression turn angry again. Which. Well- It's almost too predictable at this point.

"Never mind," she snaps, and she sounds mean again. "If you're asking for my opinion though, pretty pathetic too, the way you're running after her. Must be quite hard for you to make new friends, isn't it?"

"Sayu-san," Rei says and now that she thinks she has the other one figured out a bit, doesn't even get angry. However, she decides that by now enough of her break has been sacrificed for this little interaction. "Where exactly are you going with this now?"

Sayu opens her mouth indignantly and promptly shuts it again, taking a tense breath.

"...So! You're one to talk. You- You better make sure you stick to your word about what we discussed about Chiyo, after all, of course you mindlessly jumped in there like everything you do! And what's with this question!" A very late realization flits across her features and her nostrils flare. "What did YOU want from me now anyway?"

Something in her expression becomes confident of victory. Surely Sayu assumes that Rei only pulled her out of the classroom as a first-best rescue from Chiyo. So her eyes grow wide as Rei reaches into her shoe compartment blindfolded. 

"Your umbrella," she points out the obvious and holds out the umbrella with the pretty antique handle to Sayu.

Sayu stares at it silently.

"You're right. I am new. I hardly know anyone yet. But that goes for both sides, don't you think?" Rei says quietly when Sayu makes no move to take it from her. It feels like it takes her classmate an eternity to tear herself away from the sight and meet Rei's gaze. "I don't know what I've done to you, but... please don't judge me until you know me? Or at least wait until you hear a really bad rumor about me before you do."

Rei tries to keep the tremor out of her voice in the last sentence. For most of the conversation, she had felt almost confident. She liked that she could at least somewhat size Sayu up, but in her last words she now put careless genuine concern. Because of course it bothers her that Sayu only ever gives her disapproving looks. If there was still some sort of unspoken resentment around here somewhere... well, Rei didn't want to risk strengthening it so that things escalated in the worst case scenario.

Sayu takes the umbrella from her hand just after Rei's hand starts to shake. She has long since broken eye contact, because now a trace of excitement or even fear is forming in her stomach area instead.

"...Nice to meet you, Rei."

When Rei looks up, there is an almost audacious grin on Sayu's lips. It's somewhat reserved, and her eyes are a dichotomy of analysis and a tiny trace of recognition. Rei notices at that moment that Sayu very rarely smiles, lately at least, while relief comes over her with a very slow rush. She was so surely expecting a dismissive response that the meaning of Sayu's actual words dawns on Rei like honey, slow and viscous.

Then, a single melodic sound echoes through the empty corridor. Rei assumes it's the break bell at first, but Sayu pulls out her cell phone instead, her eyes darting over the display.

She curses under her breath. Looking up, she gives Rei a very curt nod and runs down the corridor. Rei almost yells after her, but the speed of the situation confuses her enough to stare after Sayu's rushing figure - wielding the umbrella like a sword in her hand.

Rei's original intention had been to go straight to the library, but just as she started to walk down the corridor Sayu had just run down, she saw something small and shiny gleaming under one of the shoe cabinets, and when she bent down, she suddenly found herself holding a 500-yen coin in her hand.

So she begins her journey back to Sayuri with a short detour to the vending machine, from which she pulls out a pack of chocolate balls to surprise her friend with. However, the rest of her way through the school building was to be marked by yet another obstacle. Just as Rei reaches the second floor, Muu enters the stairwell.

They both freeze in their movements for a moment, Rei notices. Then Muu smiles brightly and suddenly looks as if she has found exactly what she was looking for.

"Ah, Rei!" she says brightly. "Come with me, will you?"

Without waiting for an answer, she hooks up with Rei and they continue up the stairs to the second floor.

"What beautiful weather!" Muu comments on the window front on the next landing and Rei casts a suspicious glance at one of the canal gulls circling in the sky in the distance.

Muu's arm intertwined with hers is pleasantly warm. Rei is also surprised that she hasn't even bothered to comment on the chocolate balls in her hand. It's quite a rarity to find Muu alone during school hours. All the other times, Rei has the feeling that she has caught her in a rather private moment or stumbled into a plan to intercept Rei.

She also notices the irony that this seems to be a similar situation to the one with Sayu earlier, but this time Rei finds herself on the other end.

"Have you been studying a lot for the exam?" Muu asks before Rei can ask where she's actually accompanying Muu to. Then she giggles. "Apart from Monday, of course."

"I think I'll pass," says Rei, secretly wishing she was a little more confident. Muu looks at her from the side. "You don't seem to have that many problems in math?"

"Not as many as Yui, no," Muu laughs.

They reach the second floor, but instead of leaving the stairwell (to get to the library, for example), Muu heads for the next flight of stairs.

"Aren't you going to ask where we're heading?" whispers Muu, who seems to have noticed Rei's longing look in the direction of the corridor exit.

"Yes, but are you going to tell me?" says Rei, raising an eyebrow.

Muu laughs and doesn't answer. Of course she does.

The bag of sweets crackles in Rei's hand.

They leave the staircase on the third floor and as they enter the corridor, Rei can recognize someone from afar.

The corridor is actually just like any other, with a series of classrooms and subject rooms that Rei is far from familiar with. But the room at its end, in front of which a bored Ai is standing, is something she is already familiar with. It is right next to the principal's office, where Rei picked up her timetable just over two months ago.

The question of the hour is now, what do Muu and Ai want in the staff room?

"Yui has really serious problems," Muu murmurs. Out of the corner of her eye, Rei realizes that she is watching her closely. "Her final grade depends on this paper, you know? I don't want to put any pressure on you, Rei, but they're really weighing the exam result heavily at this school."

Rei feels a twinge of guilt as she thinks about the topics she's only studied up to now on fill-in-the-blank. She meets Muu's gaze. The last time she was asked to calculate something on the blackboard, her result had been as clean and flawless as her handwriting. Muu seems to have anything but problems with math.

"I hope she passes," says Rei. "I know you helped her study? Our meeting on Monday was a great idea, and Ai seems to have been trying to tutor her."

"You know how it goes," Muu still says in that calm tone as they get closer and closer to the teachers' room door. "Yui's not exactly at the top of our class in other subjects. She might even have to repeat if she fails."

A pained expression crosses Muu's face. She swallows visibly before she says anything again. Her pace also slows a little and something in her eyes glistens. "I wish I'd been better at explaining. But I tried, Rei. I tried to be a good friend." She stops suddenly, and since they're still walking together, Rei does the same. The nervousness and fear from earlier returns inside her, because she doesn't like seeing Muu so upset.

"I believe you," she says quickly, trying to find better reassuring words. "I'm sure she'll make it. You tried to help her and you're a good friend."

Muu shakes her head vehemently and disengages from Rei in the same motion, only to grab her free hand with both of hers. She comes unusually close and there is sudden determination in Muu's eyes.

"Good friends" All distress is gone from Muu's voice. Her eyes seem to stare deep into Rei, staring her down, causing her to suddenly feel very small. The need to help Muu fizzles out. "Don't just help and hope for the best. You make sure of it."

She picks up her pace, but tugs Rei by the hand behind her, giving her a scrutinizing look over the shoulder.

"And if you want, I'll do you the favor, too."

"Muu," Ai says doubtfully as they reach the door.

"What are you doing here?" Rei asks, addressing Ai more than Muu, but she just gives her a dismissive look.

"You're welcome to join us," Muu replies quietly. "We'll get the test answers."

"W-what?!" Rei immediately lets out.

Ai gives her a chastising glare for making her half-shout echo a little across the hallway.

"Break's over, silly," Muu murmurs, pointing to the door. "The principal's office and the staff room are empty. We'll find the answer sheet and make sure Yui passes. If you want some safety too, then help us. Sayu and Yui are already on the job."

She gives Ai a brief questioning look, who nods in confirmation and then looks at Rei again, waiting for an answer.

"No," Rei says almost immediately.

Of course it's tempting. But the fear of being caught is far too great. If Rei hadn't already blown her chances. If this school wasn't Rei's last chance, the chance her parents had sacrificed so much for and her chance for a normal teenage life. Yes. Maybe she would have done it then. But not now, when so much is at stake.

After she utters the answer, fear grips her again. She expects a threat that will somehow persuade her to go along with this, to make her complicit, or at least a strong plea to be discreet. But instead Muu just shrugs her shoulders and opens the door. Just a crack wide, big enough to slip through and close it again, leaving Ai and Rei all alone in the hallway.

It's no wonder Ai is the one standing guard. She's certainly the least reliant on the answers, and on top of that, she looks like she'd like to be somewhere else. Not in a 'being pressured' kind of way, but rather as if her current task only tires and bores her.

If Rei had been the same person she was in middle school, the current situation would certainly have caused her enormous worry for her classmates. She wouldn't have dreamed of skipping even one lesson. Her current self... well, a reluctant appreciation fills her for having the courage and only a little worry.

Ai meets her gaze. "Still, it should be clear that this little matter is between us?"

It's not a threat, just Ai's always somewhat put-upon polite manner.

Rei nods, but frowns.

"Don't you think it's a bit over the top?"

"You've never cheated before, huh?"

"Of course I have, but... Couldn't Yui-san just write herself a cheat sheet?"

"Been there, done that," sighs Ai. Rei casts an anxious glance over her shoulder to check that the corridor is still empty. Ai gives her a mocking look. "Relax. Everyone's at the teachers' meeting in the hall. They'll just be in there for a bit, looking for the quiz results."

"Still, though..."

"Nothing 'still, though' at all. It's not the first time we've done something like this, you know. I think Sayu even knows how the printer works by now..."

Rei can't seem to hide her surprise, because Ai laughs briefly at her expression, then glances at her cell phone and her expression becomes bored again.

Rei swallows again and takes this as a sign to leave. Ai barely even acknowledges it.

Chapter Text

There is a library in Rei's former neighborhood where Rei spent almost half her childhood. At least her elementary school years. The building was small and old. There were very few employees, including a stone-aged librarian - Watabe Sachiko, known to everyone as Wata-baachan. Back then, she was the one who kept the place running. She could tell you the location of every book and knew the names of all the primary school pupils from their library cards.

Rei was absolutely terrified of her too. It wasn't even her fault, because the woman always wore a very stern look and looked exactly like the witch Yubaba from Spirited Away. She seemed to be aware of this too, as she regularly threatened to turn the children who hung around the manga and storybook section after school into pigs if they weren't quieter.

The small library needed regular support. There were numerous fundraising events for repairs to the building or a new set of books and furniture, which Rei herself was involved in until middle school due to her mother's charity efforts.

In contrast, the exterior of the library in this area alone tells Rei that it has never needed any charity. A fundraising event to enable a school somewhere in Kenya, certainly - but a buffet, funded voluntarily by children and over-ambitious parents? Certainly not.

The building here looks new and is located right next to a bus stop. The street is lined with beautifully manicured gardens and detached houses, a row of modern apartment buildings, a convenience store, a restaurant and two cafés. The avenue is lively.

Sayuri's search in the school library for a copy of her favorite light novel this lunchtime had been unsuccessful. Rei had definitely felt bad for making her wait so long because of the things she'd had to sort out with Sayu and then the one she'd unwillingly witnessed.

Rei didn't tell Sayuri about Muu and her friends secretly going to the teacher's room to steal the answers for tomorrow's math test. She didn't quite know if they had succeeded either, but when the bell rang for the last class of the day and the teachers' meeting in the hall was over, the four of them looked quite pleased.

Sayuri had of course noticed that something was up, but didn't ask. Rei felt bad about leaving her friend alone at break yet again and even the chocolate balls pulled from the vending machine couldn't quite make up for it. It wasn't like Sayuri deliberately gave her the cold shoulder, but when Rei had to turn down her invitation to do something after school because of the upcoming exam, Sayuri's usual cheerful nature seemed a little dampened.

At the end of the day, however, Rei thought she had made up for it a little when she announced that she had planned to study for math in the library nearby today anyway and that she could look for Sayuri's favorite book there.

Rei had visited this pretty library a few times now (it was getting conspicuous and boring to stay at school every afternoon) and knew her way around so well that she was able to find the light novel in under five minutes.

The atmosphere in the building reflected the weather of the unusually shallow afternoon and although this library is completely different to the one she grew up with, she has to admit that she does enjoy coming here.

After finding the book, she starts to browse a little more before eventually ending up in the section for life guides or travel manuals - Rei has been paying more attention to the cozy little corner between the shelves than the books they house - on the carpeted floor and pulling out her math notes.

Despite the good weather, the library is pretty full and in the manga section, where Rei spotted the only free seating area away from other people and with enough space for her documents, was simply too noisy for her. The integrated café offered some cozy seats, but the prices had made Rei quickly lose interest, so she finally found herself here.

The search was fun, though. But now there is no escape. For better or worse, she has to study. Rei pulls out her calculator, opens the textbook and gets started.

It goes almost suspiciously well.

Rei completes four tasks flawlessly, as she checks in amazement before choosing the next one. Her neck is a little stiff, but she leans a little more upright against the shelf at her back with the next task completed, then gropes blindly for her bag and re-reads through her last solve as she fumbles for her water bottle.

The unsweetened green tea will certainly give her a little more energy for the late afternoon, she thinks, bringing the bottle to her lips.

"Excuse me?"

Rei winces and snatches the bottle away. She just manages to keep the drop from landing on the blue blouse of her school uniform, but instead directly on her solvent. She frowns at the bleeding ink for a moment, then looks up.

A boy is staring down at her.

Well, not really. Right now he looks more like he's trying to look anywhere but at Rei. He's wearing a school uniform that looks vaguely familiar to Rei and is tugging at the tie that goes with it. He must be about Rei's age, even though the dark hair that sticks unruly from his head makes him look a little younger, his physical size gives him away.

"...Um," the boy says.

Rei blinks in confusion. And notices a few freckles on his nose.

The boy seems to have spotted an interesting book two shelves above her head.

"Sorry," he apologizes again. "B-but... drinks aren't allowed in here."

"Oh," Rei says. Then she startles abruptly and twists the bottle closed. "Oh, sorry!"

Great, not only has she unwittingly broken one of the house rules, she's also been caught. The strange boy must probably have a temp job here.

In fact, he finally meets her gaze at that moment. For some reason, he looks a little sheepish.

"Um... yeah..." the temp stammers. "You... you go to Tamagawa High? I've seen you here a few times..."

Rei nods vigorously. She knows that many from her school go to the library nearby. Halfway to standing up, she's getting a little embarrassed about the whole thing, but suddenly the student assistant looks panicked.

"So- I wasn't watching you or anything! Just... my sister goes there too, that's why I know the uniform and you-"

Rei freezes and looks for something like a small laminated sign on the boy's navy blue blazer that says temp or something. Rei can't find a sign.

"I've never seen you," she says slowly, staring, but the boy seems to have found another interesting book. His hand is now playing with his hair instead of his tie.

"Y-yeah, you also have a habit of disappearing into these corners instead of finding a table, so..."

Rei raises her eyebrows.

Great, she hasn't been caught by the temp, but by... and what does he think he's doing, reprimanding her for taking a tiny sip?

"Well," Rei says curtly, hoping that this straitlaced dude would go away now that he's corrected her.

Instead, the boy apologizes again.

"It wasn't my intention..." he stammers in response. "I-I'm sorry you can't have a drink now, so I thought maybe I'd make it up to you by... W-would you like a cup of coffee? Or tea?"

After the beginning was an exhausting collection of incoherent ramblings, the last few sentences came out incredibly quickly.

The boy even looks straight at her for a moment and then away again.

"Yes... that was... a stupid idea. I didn't mean to bother you - " he then blurts out just as quickly, while Rei is still trying to classify whether this is an innocent attempt to make new friends or whether she has a secret stalker.

The latter option is admittedly unlikely. And the guy actually seems quite nice. And Rei did find the café tables very pretty earlier.

Anyway, the stranger turns and dashes towards the next department with record suspicion, then stops abruptly, turns again towards Rei to give a short apologetic bow and -

"Do you think they have iced coffee?"

His name is Teruya Kenji. Rei is right about the fact that they are the same age, but his sister Hinami is a grade below Rei in A or B, so Rei doesn't know her. He also goes to Suwa High School. Rei knows that there is a kind of friendly relationship between their schools and sports festivals or similar activities have often been organized together in the past.

Kenji actually seemed to be able to produce complete sentences at a normal speed - well, at least for the most part. He is also very friendly and apparently good at math and science. He reminds her a bit of Sayuri.

Rei can't quite put her finger on what made her accept the awkward invitation. She only socializes with others her age at school, and Kenji reminded her a bit of herself when she was in middle school, trying to persuade the shy kids at her mother's boring charity events to join the group, much to the displeasure of her former... acquaintances. But Rei doesn't want to think about those people anymore.

The only thing that bothers Rei a little is the silly thought that Kenji, with his polite manner, his apparently good family background and his ambition to become a doctor, would please her mother.

However, she quickly tries to push this aside as well.

"I kind of miss it," says Kenji, after taking a sip of his coffee. "My middle school was normal, but spending high school only with boys..."

Kenji seems to realize that what he's saying might also somehow come out wrong. He quickly tries to deflect it by asking Rei if she had a similar experience.

"I went to a normal high school my first year before I transferred within this term," she catches herself saying. Kenji immediately looks interested and opens his mouth to ask something, so Rei quickly tries to dissuade him, "I like Tamagawa more. But it's a bit weird having only girls as classmates."

"Certainly less drama," Kenji says, and Rei rolls her eyes inwardly.

On the other hand, he's kind of right. And then somehow he's not. It's complicated.

One positive aspect of Rei's new acquaintance is that Kenji's class just recently did a test on her math topic. He tells her the types of problems that came up, and as they share a laugh, realizing they're using the same textbook, he recommends she review one of the chapters.

"Well then, good luck with the exam!" Kenji wishes as they both stand on the street outside the library, grinning ear to ear, which might have something to do with the fact that Rei has just given him her number.

They say goodbye and Rei says something like they'll definitely see each other again soon. Realizing that she doesn't think it's such a bad idea if it does happen.

Rei spends the evening hunched over her books and notes. The apartment remains suspiciously quiet, as it has been for the past week. It puts her in a dilemma as she is about to rub out her latest mistake. There are days when Rei welcomes peace into the house and some days when Rei is particularly jumpy and cautious. She can't help herself. After all, she always closes the windows hours before the storm hits.

Part of the pleasant calm is certainly that her father is on a business trip. Her mother has always reacted to these events in two predictable ways. Either there would be lots and lots of phone calls or she would attempt no contact at all. Okaa-san would clean. Try out a new dish. Entering Rei's room at unexpected moments and talking to her. About nothing important, really.

How is school going? I saw this brochure. It's a cute top, isn't it? You can buy it if you want. How's your little friend? Sayori was it?

They would eat together and when Rei came home from school, the apartment would smell like cake or buns.

It's relaxed. And either there's a big bang or time passes, and they gradually get back into a regular routine.

At the moment, Rei is pretty sure that she is living in the latter case. She thinks her parents spoke to one another on the phone a few days ago, but the conversation was short and sweet, full of questions about the accommodation, whether there was enough underwear in the suitcase and if you're eating enough. Everything was fine.

Today she even had meat and potato stew.

Rei can still feel the food warming her up, hours later, when she is now studying. Her neck hurts a little and although she is now almost certain she can do most of the task types in tomorrow's exam, her already low appreciation for the subject has only dropped that much further. She can hardly wait for tomorrow so that she doesn't have to deal with pointless equations for a while.

Rei stifles a yawn and spins around on her swivel chair, letting herself circle as she scans the room with her eyes. Where has she left her cell phone again? Fortunately, she finds it on her neatly made bed.

Rei wouldn't describe herself as tidy, which a rough look around her room would have confirmed, on most days that weren't immediately before an exam, when she suddenly finds a great joy in tidying up, escaping from notes and textbooks. So, although she otherwise lives in a slight chaos rather than a predominant order, she at least tries to make her bed every day.

Pushing off from her desk, she rolls her chair across the floor a little and reaches for her cell phone. The time announces that study time has slowly but surely turned into sleep time, but it's the notification that almost startles her.

She ignores Kenji's message and even Sayuri's sticker. The screen notification underneath shows a missed call. She is still saved under the same name as she was all those years ago when school days were carefree.

At least yours used to be, a voice hisses in her head as Rei scrolls over the notification again and again.

Missed call from “Inoriଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ”

Rei's thumb sweeps across the display. Very slowly. Until the notification disappears. Yes, she will certainly call back tomorrow. Just like she wanted to get in touch with Inori months ago and never did. A comment under her latest post. A like. What a great friend she is.

It would be different if these feelings hadn't accompanied her from the beginning of this first real friendship. This certainty. Rei is not a good person and certainly not a good friend. It had just been easier back then to ignore that guilt, to push it aside and try to pay off an unspoken debt by adopting the outsider. Inori had a hard time in middle school at first, since Rei knew almost all the students from kindergarten or at least elementary school. No wonder with her immediate neighborhood.

And then there was Inori. Completely unknown in seventh grade. She had previously lived in Osaka. Nobody had met her. And instead of just making friends with her-

Well, in the years that followed, it had become easier. Rei now had a real friend. A best friend? Was it possible to have a best friend if you didn't have any other friends? No matter. It had been easy to ignore everything before then. Years of being friends, almost carefree. Or with worries that were much more manageable, at least.

But then the first year of high school began. And everything caught up with Rei.

She turns off her phone for the night, resisting the temptation to check Inori's social media account, looking for confirmation that everything is okay with her. Because surely it is. Time has passed and she has made friends at this new school.

Inori is happy.

And Rei doesn't want to open old wounds.

"Hikawa," Sensei Sejou snaps Rei out of her trance.

She stands up while the shock of being asked to do something just like that is still setting in, Rei hasn't really been paying attention to the Japanese class with her thoughts on the exam in the coming lesson. She doesn't even know which page they're on right now.

Sensei just smiles across the teacher's desk and points at the blackboard.

"Would you be so kind to go and get some new chalk from the cabinet? Surely you already know where it is?"

"Yes, sensei," Rei says quickly, because who would turn down an invitation to escape class for a moment?

She hurries through the rows towards the door while the teacher is still formulating a thank you. With her hand on the handle, however, her gaze happens to wander towards the classroom once more. At the front of the second row, Sayu has turned around and gives her a strange look.

Rei heads down the corridor in the wrong direction. There are two wall cupboards on this floor, one that is often used because it contains cleaning utensils and a smaller one where materials such as posters, spare pencils, new chalk and sponges for the blackboard and similar things are kept, making it very rarely used.

So when Rei changes direction, she almost opens the door of a classroom by mistake, but then she checks the door sign in time.

It takes her a moment to feel for the light switch in the cabinet. She sees its interior for the first time and it's pretty much what she was already expecting, along with a few extra shelves, a broom and a spare blackboard. Next to a half-rolled up world map, Rei quickly finds the box labeled chalk and then-

An incongruously sweet smell makes her pause.

She takes the lid off the box while she checks the shelf above her to see if anyone has left an open can of soda or something, but finds nothing.

Right away, she takes out a small box of blackboard chalk and puts the box back in its place, but because of the temporarily empty spot on the shelf, she notices that there is a small open space behind the shelf of school supplies.

Rei walks along the shelf and pushes the world map aside. Now, if she were to bend down, she could easily crawl into the cavity behind the cupboard. She almost does the same, because the sweet smell gets stronger.

Rei shakes the shelf a little and easily pushes it a few inches to the side so that a little more light can fall into the hiding place.

There is something on the floor that certainly doesn't belong here, or to be more precise, lots of things.

In addition to candy wrappers and pens, there are many pages that are torn, crumpled or just lying loose on the floor along with a notepad. As Rei tries to decipher the pages, she realizes where the sweet smell is coming from, because the pages are covered in light pink stains and a can of drink is hidden a little under the shelf that Rei has just pushed away. Nevertheless, it seems as if the mess has also been doused with water or some other liquid, because the writing on the paper is completely illegible and washed out.

Rei senses something is upsetting her for some reason. A purple, overturned leather bag towers above everything, a cute key ring dangling from one of the open zippers. There is something wrong with this image.

Perhaps someone had lost the bag and its finder wanted to secure it on the shelf and it accidentally fell behind here? The can of drink could have opened accidentally and... though that wouldn't explain the traces of much more liquid.

Rei reaches out unnaturally slowly and lifts the bag. She takes a startled breath as she discovers a wallet in one of the pocket compartments and Oh. A phone, too.

Wait.

That's it! Because whoever has lost their bag must surely have an ID, especially if they go to school here.

Rei pulls out the green wallet, it's an anime merchandise item. She has to pull herself together to ignore the large number of cash bills that almost fall towards her. Whoever the finder was, they probably didn't steal anything. Then she actually finds a student ID card.

She reads the name first, then processes it as she pulls the document out far enough to see the photo.

Rei drops the ID card abruptly. Staring back at her is her classmate Esaki Chiyo.

Chapter Text

Rei stared down sullenly at the sports bag in Kaoru's hand. She knew that it was a lost cause with Ishida Kaoru anyway, but maybe she could somehow talk her friend Hisako out of it.

"Don't you think that's a bit mean?" Rei asked meekly.

Hisako's face briefly flushed with guilt, but soon her eyes were only on Kaoru. The latter was now staring at Rei condescendingly.

"Mean?" she asked almost indignantly. "Who called us mean? We're just having a bit of fun, Rei-chan."

She spoke the words so forcefully that the image of her red hair tied back in a ponytail for gym class, bobbing back and forth with each word, would surely have made a comical picture had Rei not been afraid of the girl.

Rei clutched her legs, but the strange squat they were all three doing, hidden in the bushes, was starting to hurt seriously, so she repositioned herself awkwardly. Her head briefly peeked halfway over the leaves so that Rei could take a look across the sports field and-

"Hey, are you nuts? You're going to give away our hiding place."

Kaoru pulled her down again by the arm so violently that Rei instantly lost her balance and landed on the cold ground.

Wincing, she pulled back the hand she had used to catch herself and sure enough, there was even a small abrasion in addition to the burning inside.

"I don't like this," Rei said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

It was cold in this stupid hideout, despite the summer, and if they continued like this, Inori wouldn't be the only one missing class.

"Can you actually do anything other than whine?" Kaoru asked, annoyed.

" I don't find it that exciting anymore," Hisako stammered to Rei's surprise.

"We should just give Inori the bag," Rei tried from the other side. "If she changes her clothes now, maybe she'll-"

"Wait," Kaoru interrupted her. Rei liked her less and less. "If you two are scared, then let's just go. PE class starts soon anyway. But we'll leave the bag here."

"But that's-"

"Well, I think it's a good idea," Hisako said before Rei could finish her sentence. She also gave her a smile. "It's really just an innocent little joke, Rei. Inori-chan will understand!"

Rei bit her tongue. Ever since her childhood friend Hisako had started hanging out with Kaoru, she had suddenly become so different. But she didn't want to risk a fight with Hisako either, especially not in front of Kaoru. She had to get herself involved in everything.

Eventually, she was persuaded to join the rest of the class, who were lined up along the track. A little further back, by the bleachers, she could see the new girl, Inori, talking to the gym teacher while her gym bag lay alone in a bush nearby without her knowledge. While Kaoru and Hisako next to her were laughing and warming up for the exercise, Rei wasn't feeling well.

"Reiii, again, we survived! You don't have to look so traumatized," Sayuri's voice snaps her out of her thoughts. She also tugs gently on her arm as they wander through the school building towards the exit. "You will have passed for sure! Now it's time for the positive things!"

Rei tries to relax her face and especially forget about that stupid bag from the storage room. Sayuri was right. They had finally gotten the math test over with. Rei even has a good feeling. In math, that good feeling had often been deceptive in the past, but Rei is determined to look on the bright side. Like the fact that she would finally be doing something with Sayuri.

"What did you have at 3B again?" she asks anyway, but without really being interested in an answer. Just then, Rei notices a familiar figure walking down the corridor a few girls ahead of them.

Chiyo has been carrying a black backpack for a few days now. Rei noticed yesterday or the day before how she always took it out of the classroom during lunch break. She thought for a moment that there was something wrong with the sight of it, like in those children's puzzles she used to love, where you had to compare two pictures and find the differences. She quickly dismissed it at the time. Many left the classroom at break time to eat lunch elsewhere and took their bags with them.

Now Rei finally knows what didn't seem right to her at the time. It wasn't primarily the fact that Chiyo took her bag with her wherever she went, but rather her bag itself. On Monday, when Rei had bumped into her outside the bathroom with Muu and Yui, she couldn't remember this behavior. And on the same day, the purple leather bag she had left behind had disappeared.

The same bag that was lying in a storage closet among chaos that was clearly caused by someone else.

Sayuri has stopped talking about the task at about the same time as Chiyo surprisingly turns in the hallway to walk down the side corridor instead of heading for the exit like most. Rei can't help but look after her as she gnaws on her cheek.

Chiyo had said she had misplaced her math notes, but the truth was that her bag had been stolen along with her notes. Why had she lied? And of course there was the real question: who had stolen from her?

Rei suppressed the fact that her conscience seemed to know exactly who the culprit was with another tug on her sleeve.

"Here's the shoe shelf, Rei," Sayuri sang with a hint of amusement, though, as always, it's tinged with indulgence. She smiles, but it's friendly. It's one thing Rei really likes about her. When she teases her, it always seemed so full of tenderness.

"Sorry," Rei says, trying to sound apologetic. Then she puts on a smile. "I guess I'm just so happy."

It's certainly true somewhere and seems to bring Sayuri a lot of joy. It's the first time they would do something together. Today, the subject of school is off limits. Well, at least everything concerning grades, teachers and homework. Their routine consists of spending ( partly hard-scraped together) savings on candy and chatting.

"After all, you have to tell me every last detail about this Kenji!" Sayuri whispers excitedly, putting a bit of a damper on Rei's mood.

Instead of going to the convenience store near the school, Sayuri and Rei first take their usual school route by train and get off at Sayuri's station. It's less crowded here and there's no direct school nearby, which makes for privacy in the store and hopefully lower prices. Besides, Rei doesn't mind not running into anyone they knew.

There's something so incredibly warm about Sayuri. No. Not really warm. She's soothing, if anything. Rei knows that when she was brand new to the class, she hardly noticed her friend. Now she can no longer explain it. It's true, Sayuri doesn't exactly fulfill the qualifications of a classic Japanese beauty. Boys never turn their heads to look at her when they go home. But then there's her smile or the fact that her slightly wavy hair, which at first glance doesn't look any different from the most common hair color among girls, has a very slight copper tint. Or the tiny gold reflections in her eyes.

Sayuri is charming in her own way, Rei thinks. She can listen well and inspire other people. She can knit and her fingers have sometimes suffered tiny injuries when she has tried her hand at sewing. She can solve equations frighteningly quickly, but never gives you the feeling that she is in any way better than you for doing so.

But the most astounding thing is that almost no one seemed to know any of these things. No one seemed to know the fact that Rei always feels so damn calm when she spends time with Sayuri. It's silly. Someone wrote a masterpiece of a book, a story that would make every reader a better person, a work of art that would shape generations. A book that would change and shape its medium forever. Someone wrote a book, but unfortunately no one in the library picked it up and read it.

Sayuri is something like that. A masterpiece in a sea of tabloid reads, successful to bad copies of a long-told tale and those books that you accidentally put on the wrong shelf. She's right here, but no one seems to notice.

Rei thinks all this along the way, until she finally discovers Sayuri's half-hidden quality, which she clearly has yet to come to terms with. Her love for romance.

When they arrive at the store, Rei has already summarized the strange encounter in the library twice and shown Sayuri Kenji's profile picture somewhat reluctantly. Which she commented with 'He's so cute!

"Oh my God," she now says, giving Rei an incredulous look via her cell phone. "You can't be serious."

"What?" Rei asks, frowning, and Sayuri rolls her eyes.

"Kenji is texting: Hello, smiley face, good luck once again with your exam."

"Yes. I know, I read the message."

" - you only reply with a 'thank you'?"

Sayuri lowers Rei's cell phone.

"I can't wish him a 'thank you, you too', can I?" Rei quips, but gets no response from Sayuri. Rei has to nudge her with her elbows. Sayuri gives her an extremely doubtful look.

"It's not that bad!" protests Rei, taking back her cell phone as she squints at the open chat.

Sayuri's expression becomes a little more desperate.

"I need a cold drink for this."

"- And that means," Sayuri finally concludes as she bends with a bag of chips and chocolates from the candy shelf and makes her way to the drinks. "That he very likely thinks you're gorgeous!"

Rei can feel herself grimace at the idea.

"But Kenji-san doesn't even know me..." she mumbles, causing Sayuri to groan in frustration.

"He might still find you likeable, though, right, silly? That's why he approached you! Haven't you ever liked people at first sight? Felt a connection?"

"I could introduce you to the others!"

There's a smile on Muu's lips even before Rei can answer, as she stretches her index finger to the sky in a small gesture.

"Ah. I should have expected it. Seagulls." 

Rei almost stops on her way to the refrigerated section. What a strange thought.

"So~," Sayuri asks, long drawn out. She seems to realize quickly that she's not going to get an answer from Rei and strikes another topic, immediately bright with excitement at the suggestion she voices, "We should make a nice profile picture of you!"

"I don't think he can even see the current one, I haven't even saved his number yet..."

It seems to give Sayuri another near cardiac arrest and Rei is easily persuaded to give her friend her cell phone so she can change that fact to lessen her shock.

"Oh dear God!" she says a moment later, giving Rei a quizzical look across the screen. "What a coincidence! Guess who just happened to text something!"

"Let me see!"

But Sayuri quickly pulls Rei's cell phone out of her reach. Now there is a winning grin on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes. Her voice resembles a triumphant singsong. "Ha! So, are you interested!"

Rei quickly looks for a distraction as she realizes how easily she fell for the bluff. Her cheeks grow hot, but they finally reach the refrigerated shelves.

A huge selection of iced drinks spreads out before her eyes. It's so much better than the selection from the vending machines in the city center.

"Oh look!" Sayuri says, successfully distracted, and pulls open one of the cabinets to take out a pink can. She holds it under Rei's nose. "I love this! It's with pineapple!"

"It's the only good thing about summertime!" Hisako said enthusiastically, tearing open the refrigerator shelf. She only had to stretch a little to reach the pink can of drink.

"Oh no, it's that time of year again," Rei commented. She could see her friend's face through the open glass door. In her hand was the can of drink.

Over the past year, she had developed an actual addiction to the limited edition version of lemonade. It was helpful in dragging her out of the house more, Rei remembered back. Hisako usually avoided the sun like the plague, but when she started carrying at least one of these cans with her everywhere she went and repeatedly borrowed money from Rei as her own was used up, she became increasingly worried.

Now Hisako's face had a look of rapture on it, as if the Lunar New Year and her birthday had been moved to today.

"Special Summer Edition." It sounded almost like a prayer. "Your Tropical Island Desire Flavor." By now, Hisako even sounded like a true American when she said the long title. At least as far as Rei could tell. Her English skills were enviable. Rei, on the other hand, was dreading English class a little, now that they were out of elementary school.

Hisako held the door open further. Closing her eyes, she felt for Rei to pull her a little closer.

"Isn't it nice?" she commented on the coolness emanating from the closet in visible smoke. It hit Rei, just as taken away by the summer heat as being immersed in cool water. She had to sigh instantly.

Then she tugged Hisako away from the cupboard so as not to bequeath the owner of the store, promising to buy her ice cream in return.

Sayuri lowers the can. Her expression suddenly worried as smoke from the open cooler escapes into the convenience store around her. She mumbles Rei's name.

"Sorry," she says, quickly reaching for a can to avoid Sayuri's worried gaze. She grabs some cheap melon-flavored brand. "They were limital selling this in the summer for a while, you know?"

"Really?" asks Sayuri in surprise, looking at her drink. "I think I've been drinking this all year round for years."

"It's been a while... Wanna pay?"

They stay at the store's dining area with their loot. Sayuri opens her cans with a satisfying plop, which makes her laugh before she hands Rei her drink and they clink the tin together before taking a sip. A toast for surviving the exam. Sayuri also insisted on one of those ice creams to share, even if Rei was hesitant. She never managed to break the two pieces apart equally. Neither with Hisako... nor later with Inori. But she doesn't want to think about it anymore.

And as it turns out, Sayuri seems to be a pro. She divides the two popsicle sticks (chocolate) with such precision that Rei is sure that if you weighed them both, the number of grams would be equal. Sayuri lets her choose anyway, to dispel any doubts about giving herself the bigger treat.

Rei wants to enjoy this time. She even goes to great lengths when Sayuri repeatedly encourages her to pose in the sitting area in order to take the most favorable profile picture of her. Her friend seems to have a lot of self-control, because she doesn't laugh when she sees the results. At some point, they even find one that seems halfway successful and that Sayuri thinks Kenji will find totally cute.

As hard as Rei tries to stay focused, her thoughts keep wandering to storage rooms and sports bags.

She shouldn't care. Chiyo-san is racist and a bully. She had made Muu cry. On top of that, Rei would get in trouble with whoever stole Chiyo's bag and turned her possessions into such a mess. All the strange moments with Sayu, as well as their confusing conversation are at last adding up. Of Muu's friends, she's the one who looked the angriest in the bathroom situation.

Rei finds her obvious sense of protection for Muu nearly admirable. Sayu is a good friend and Chiyo is only reaping what she has sown, but - now that Rei knows, now that she knows that Chiyo's things - even her cell phone and wallet - are untraceable to her in a storage closet - she couldn't stop thinking about it. Rei has become a witness. An accomplice.

And it makes her feel terribly guilty.

And then there's the memory of Inori.

Still very young, freshly transferred to her former school and looking so utterly lost, searching for her sports clothes, hidden in the bushes.

And maybe that's what prompts Rei to head back towards the station after saying goodbye to Sayuri.

The sun is setting behind the rooftops of the city as Rei boards the crowded train she takes every morning to get to school. But the journey feels much longer than usual. It's almost dark when Rei arrives, but it's more because of the approaching winter than the time of day. The lights in the building tell her she's not late.

Again, it feels unnatural to walk through the deserted corridors, even though the school shows clear signs of activity. A few doors leading to classrooms stand open and Rei picks up the occasional murmur of conversation as she stalks through the corridors.

The school orchestra is holding rehearsal on the fourth floor, and the music echoes even down to her as she arrives in the hallway where her classroom is located.

Rei cautiously glances up and down the corridor. Suddenly, she catches the memory of Chiyo turning off before the exit. Could she still be at school at this time?

The thought frightens her so much that she almost turns around on the spot and drives home. The idea of confronting Chiyo alone makes her feel distinctly uncomfortable, and not for the right reasons.

There is only one way to alleviate these feelings of guilt.

Rei practically sneaks to the classroom, just to make sure she can really leave it and avoid a confrontation with Chiyo. Then she finally continues down the hallway, to the closet, trying to ignore Sayu's words. Because if you do, Rei, everyone will know.

Sayu wanted to protect Muu and she chose her own form of retaliation. Worst case scenario, Chiyo would fail the exam they wrote today, but... would just stealing her math notes have been enough for that?

She suspected I might find out what she did with Chiyo's things, Rei realizes as she reaches the closet. I didn't only promise her not to give Chiyo my own notes. Sayu-san must have known that I suspected something and wanted to make sure that I didn't reveal what she hidden in the closet.

Her classmate must have realized this at the latest when Rei went to fetch the chalk. The look she had given her across the rows had been a warning.

Rei closes the cupboard door behind her. The light flickers briefly before the buzzing bulb sparsely illuminates the closet. The sweet smell is still all over the place.

Swallowing, she takes a moment to organize her plan. Cell phone, wallet and a key, if she can find it - Rei would only take out the essentials.

The leather bag is sticky from the remains of a sugary drink. Rei briefly wishes she knew a little more about fashion brands to rule out the possibility that the bag is a more expensive designer piece. The brand's symbol means nothing to her, but the way it's made and the fact that the earthy, unobtrusive scent underneath the note of lemonade clearly reveals that it's real leather leads her to conclude that it probably is.

Rei feels even more out of place than when she originally discovered it. She quickly finds the cell phone and wallet, because the last time she put them roughly back into the bag and left the room in a hurry. It feels forbidden to rummage through Chiyo's personal belongings.

Perhaps because most of them are so painfully revealed, almost exposed. Rei feels like she's crossing a line and the last bit of privacy Chiyo has left after someone - Sayu - stole her belongings and carelessly destroyed them in part, and someone else - Rei - stumbled into the evidence, rummaged through it, and then ran out as if she'd never discovered anything in that closet.

Rei finds the key in the last bag she opens. It is a surprisingly full bunch of keys. Rei can only guess which locks the keys are for. Front doors, cellars, a bicycle lock, perhaps a key to a club room? Is Chiyo a member of any club? You're new, Rei. You don't know anyone. Unfortunately, Rei has to agree with Sayu. She hardly knows anything about Chiyo.

A key chain also catches her eye. A little sparkly thing. It's a tiny bottle with a little green star with a cute face inside. Rei wonders if it belongs to some lesser-known anime or something similar, but maybe it's just a treasure from the many gacha machines in various convenience stores.

She catches herself smiling as she looks at the cute thing and quickly pulls herself together, clutching keys to her chest along with her cell phone and wallet. Her gaze glides over the chaos again. The sight still hurts and the thought of leaving the cupboard again, locking the door behind her and pretending she hadn't seen anything seems like an impossible feat of strength.

The three objects suddenly feel so sheer. Rei sees an ocean of scraps of paper, pens, candy wrappers and coins. She sees a sea of memories. Things that could be important to Chiyo. Perhaps the pencil she used to pass the Tamagawa entrance exam. The eraser she stole from her childhood friend. Class notes with tiny drawings scribbled in the margins.

Rei sees all these things and is supposed to pretend they are gone forever?

She makes up her decision not quite in her right mind.

Of course, Rei can't put everything away properly - most of the things are most likely destined to be thrown away. What's more, it would certainly cause a stir if she walked through the school building with the stolen bag and was discovered. If the thing was waiting in Chiyo's seat on the next school day, there could be a big fuss. Rei might get into trouble with Sayu or the whole drama between her and Chiyo could take on bigger proportions.

Rei could hardly give Chiyo the bag in person. Her classmate might still think that she did all this and report her to the teachers. Another thought also occurs to her on the way to the classroom. Of Chiyo judging her. Rei has defended Muu, but... Muu has nothing to do with this.

It's all very risky.

Even this original plan that Rei is now executing bails its risk. She keeps things as planned when she arrives at Chiyo's table in class and opens her locker. It's perfect. Rei has no intention of leaving a note, and if Chiyo is smart, she'll be extremely discreet about her discovery tomorrow. Yes. Rei wouldn't get in trouble for this deed.

That's what she thinks as she places her classmate's items in the tray in the table - right next to a fresh piece of chalk. A hint as to the whereabouts of the rest of her possessions and the least Rei can do to ease her guilty conscience.

It works immediately. Rei even exhales in relief as she lets Chiyo's table close again, mindlessly wiping the remnants of the chalk on her fingers on her uniform skirt. Her step is almost springy, and she discovers that she must be smiling when -

"Rei?"

Rei visibly flinches. Ideally, she would have liked to stop in place to take a moment to get her face under control before turning back to the voice, but her body has other plans. She immediately turns towards the sound, her gaze finding someone standing in the doorway to the classroom.

Ai is still wearing her school uniform. Her long hair appears reddish in the evening light and a long shadow stretches across the classroom floorboards at her feet. It almost reaches Rei.

"I was just...," Rei babbles before she can stop herself. Ai hasn't even asked her what she's doing here. Her hands find one of the tables to hold onto, and she half realizes that it's actually her own.

Ai tilts her head. There's a slight smile on her lips, but it means nothing. Ai smiles a lot. A polite, small, terribly put-on smile that she meets everyone here with. Maybe it's one of the reasons why Ai is very popular, from the girls in her class, to her many friends in the parallel class and even some younger students who call her Senpai. Ai knows almost everyone.

"It's quite late, I didn't think anyone from our class would still be here." Ai's voice lacks any trace of accusation, but Rei still notices that her hands are starting to sweat and she has to suppress the feeling of nervously shifting her weight from one leg to the other.

"I've been driving myself crazy, you know," Rei says quickly, avoiding looking Ai in the eye. "Because of the exam? It was so bad I had to go back and take a look at the textbook."

Ai chuckles softly, after a moment of strained voice that was so brief that only Rei seemed to notice it. This time, she clearly remarks how different her classmate is compared to Muu.

At first glance, they might have seemed quite similar: both pretty girls who are insanely popular and always friendly towards others. They are the kind of girls who never eat lunch alone, who are helpful and never seem to have problems at school. They come from wealthy homes and are always lovely.

But Ai is a perfect cliché. She's normal, you could say. The high school student who in a light novel or manga would be the protagonist's love interest, whose character consists of being popular and excelling in some school subject. Later, the story would unfold and somewhere beneath the perfect surface, a semi-unique person would lie dormant.

Muu is simply fascinating. She is beautiful in a strange way. Perfect too, but beneath her surface lies something deep that only sometimes emerges. She has perfected this. The game of wearing a mask so slippery that she occasionally reveals a glimpse behind it and captivates the world with her face.

If it had been Muu who found Rei here, she would surely have seen through Rei's poor excuse. Muu cares little about things like grades and schoolwork. She would have taken one look at Rei and found all the truths that Rei is desperately trying to hide.

But Ai's world is limited to normal things. To meetings with friends, long school days and good grades. She immediately believes Rei's lie, standing here and giggling in a fake charming way.

"That reminds me so much of me," she says, amused. "I look up every answer after an exam, too."

You hardly ever make mistakes, though, do you, Rei thinks.

She smiles herself and opens her own desk drawer. Ai asks her which task is giving her such a headache and Rei lies through her teeth.

"5c," she says and breaks eye contact to look for the book. Her eyes land on something that doesn't belong in the subject...

"Oh, I know," Ai says, still in the doorway. "That formula gave Yui trouble, too. If you haven't forgotten the second bracket, though, you should have it right."

Rei swallows and fumbles for the book, trying to hide the pretty-looking box of chocolates between it and a stapler. It works well. With the things in her arms, she closes the compartment and meets Ai's eyes with a smile that looks perhaps almost as falsely sincere as her own.

"Now I got everything," she announces, emphatically casual. "But, Ai-chan, what are you doing here so late?"

Rei paces the classroom, not forcing herself to look back at Chiyo's desk.

"Oh, I'm playing the piano," Ai explains and then frowns. "Why are you laughing?"

"I'm sorry," Rei says quickly, trying to stifle an honest laugh. It was just such a cliché. Of course the rich, popular girl plays the piano. "It just suits you."

Ai's face is indulgent.

"It's been my dream for a long time, you know," she says now, strangely quiet. "I played the flute for years because my parents wanted me to. I'm brand new at playing the piano and I'm still really awful."

The... confession dispels Rei's malice. Not for the first time, she is embarrassed to realize that she has misjudged someone. You're new here. Sayu was so right about that. And Rei has always been a little too quick to judge people.

"Is it fun?" she asks in return, not having to feign friendliness this time. The tiny wince on Ai's face at her confession just now made Rei immediately regret laughing at her.

Now Ai's eyes take on a small gleam.

" Very much," she says, "I want to be good at it. Someday."

Before Rei can say anything in reply, a phone rings.

Ai takes a step backwards and steps into the hallway as Rei processes that it's her own. How unusual.

Probably Sayuri... at least she hopes so, it would be awkward if it's Kenji. Or maybe her mom just wants her to go shopping for something.

Ai nods at her and Rei is distracted from returning the goodbye as she inattentively takes her cell phone out of her pocket and answers the call without taking note of the name on the display.

"Hello, Rei," says a voice on the other side of the line that is painfully familiar to Rei.

Memories of lost girls on the sports field, soda, sleepover parties, and cut-up school uniforms flash before Rei's mind's eye.

"Hello, Inori."

Chapter Text

"Oh, great! They got it!" Inori said, dramatically ripping open the door of the refrigerator shelf, cold steam immediately pouring out and wrapping them both up. Rei had been watching this with a smile, but now felt the cold, or rather the sight freeze the grin on her lips.

Inori reached for a can of drink with a very familiar label to Rei. She turned her head towards her, her braided hair and the tiny ribbons in it swaying in the wind as she moved. She smiled happily. "Do you know these, Rei? I love it!"

Rei stares at the can of Tropical Soda with such disgust, as if it contained poison, before forcing herself to make her smile look genuine, "Not quite my cup of tea," she finally croaks. "Last summer or so, the flavor was still a limited edition, you know?"

"Really?" Inroi asked with wide eyes. Rei then quickly pulled her out of the store and forced herself not to waste a thought on Hisako.

"Will she be there too?" asked Inori on the way home some time later, just when Rei had calmed down a little. Rei stubbornly forced herself to look straight ahead, past the small family homes and occasional bikers on the street - anywhere but at Inori whenever she became the topic of conversation. "At your mom's event? What is it this time, a fundraising for the library?"

"Animal shelter," Rei pressed out. At least at the library she could have hidden from all those people between the bookshelves. But like this... "I'm sure it'll be terribly boring. But she won't let me skip it again. Says I should start socializing, whatever that means." She punctuated the statement with a sigh.

"You know," Inori said, nudging her again. "I'll come with you, okay? We could make a sleepover out of it!"

Rei gave her an unbelieving look. After all, Inori knew how boring these events were, Rei was constantly texting her about it - both metaphorically and literally, should she have found a quiet corner away from her mother's suspicious gaze at one of these events to be undisturbed on her phone.

"It'll be fun," Inori said with conviction, and the braces she had been wearing since last month gleamed in the sunset.

Rei thought of her mother, of the terrible speeches or the weird, middle-aged people she was bound to strike up a conversation with sooner or later. She also thought of the group of usual guests her age. A collection of young people she had once considered to be almost friends. She thought of Hisako.

Rei decided that any form of distraction would only benefit her.

"I meant to call back..." Rei stammers as she steps out into the hallway. Behind the golden streaks of evening gold that fall through the large windows and the glittering dust particles they contain, Ai's silhouette is already disappearing. On her way back to practicing the piano.

Inori laughs.

It sounds different from back then.

"We seem to miss each other all the time," she says. Rei has always had trouble gauging her feelings from her voice, now that they're on the phone and not face to face it's even harder. Besides, it's a total lie. Rei has never really managed to miss her. Except for one time...

Missing, she did that every day.

"Are you having exams too?" Rei asks, and the uncomfortable feeling swells.

They always say that life only gives you one great big something...

Rei stops in front of a window. Something is squawking. It's not a seagull, she realizes dully. A crow, or perhaps a raven, is just spreading its wings over the orange panorama; in a few wing beats, the animal that Rei could just reach with a sudden leap from the third-floor window is out of range, heading across the gleaming canal to nowhere.

"I'm still having trouble in math...," Rei whispers into the phone.

"If that's all..." Inori replies.

Rei swallows. It's not all. So much had happened in high school that it would take Rei a few years to process everything, both when Inori was still in school and then when she transferred. Rei could never find words for it.

And now so much had happened again.

"How's the new school?" asks Inori.

"Might as well ask you." Rei bites her tongue as she falls into that slightly teasing tone again. She's known Inori for so long, but every time since last term she wonders if she can ever stop stumbling over her words and choosing her emphasis carefully. A smile, she forces herself to smile, though logically Inori can't see it. It brings back memories. "I saw that picture. Seemed cute."

"Natsuki-chan took it." Inori sounds cheerful. "She's good at it. I linked her in the pic. The pretty girl with the bow. She loves taking pictures, you know, I've had to model from time to time."

Inori sounds as relaxed as she only sounded in Reis's distant memory, before those carefree times were covered over with more intense emotions. No anger, no sadness, no apathy - just the Inori who likes tropical soda and will even go to the most boring charities for Rei. The Inori with whom she could catch fireflies and dreams.

It releases the tension from her stomach.

"...Have you made any new friends yet, Rei?"

Rei swallows and thinks about what to answer. There's this girl I keep running into over and over again... Then she realizes with a strange embarrassment that she doesn't have to tell Inori about Muu, since she's actually made a friend.

"A girl in the class. Sayuri," Rei says and has to smile sincerely. "She has the same taste in drinks as you, you know. Special Summer Edition: Your Tropical Island Desire Flavor?"

"Oh, I haven't had that for so long," says Inori, almost surprised.

Reis's smile feels bitter. She has heard that there are moments in every life. Decisions that are made, steps that are made or taken back. Words that are said or swallowed. There are a few moments that can be described as turning points. A directly identifiable point at which everything changes.

She wonders when it happened. With Inori. Whether it is her fault that they are now caught in this dichotomy between friends for life and strangers with a shared history. When did Inori stop loving this soda? When did Rei stop getting some with her?

And why does this conversation still feel so bittersweet?

"I'm glad you changed," Inori says suddenly. "We should meet up soon, don't you think!"

Rei gives an approving murmur, but her thoughts linger on Inori's initial statement. She can't help but notice a double meaning in Inori's words.

Why are you happy, Inori? she asks herself as her friend speaks the first heartfelt yet parting words. Because I changed schools? Or maybe it's actually me who's changed?

She whispers a ‘bye’ long after Inori has hung up. The word weighs heavier than all the others. Fear catches up with her, as it did almost a year ago, this biting, crystal-clear certainty. I don't want to say goodbye yet.

After the phone call, she stares for a long time at what she has found in her desk drawer. A high-quality looking box of chocolates. There's no note on it and no other clues as to who it might have come from.

The frown on Rei's face deepens. In elementary school, it had been an annual tradition for the girls to give the boys chocolates on Valentine's Day. Sometimes her grandmother had brought some for the New Year, an expensive box similar to this one. After her mother's charity events, neighbors or her friends had sometimes given her gifts like this or something similar.

Rei's hand clutched the box of sweets and the bouquet of flowers. The latter felt almost pleasantly cool, still slightly damp from the vase where it had rested in the store. The former, however, was slippery. Her sweaty hand slid restlessly back and forth on the wafer-thin layer of plastic foil, afraid of putting holes in Inori's gift.

She forced herself to breathe in and out calmly as people hurried down the corridor. They all had a place to be. Rei... Rei had to force herself to open the door.

She put the box of chocolates in her bag after some hesitation. Someone had probably mixed up her drawer with someone else's.

"A little more team spirit, girls," Mrs. Numakura says with a stern look, just as the hand on the clock in the gym announces that the discussion between Ai and Toyoko has been going on for more than five minutes.

The two girls exchange an amused glance. Rei can literally hear their thoughts. The plans they are making to drag this out even longer.

Next to Rei, Sayuri fidgets restlessly. They are standing against the wall on the right side of the center line. A few other girls from Ai's team have retreated a little further into the hall and are doing some stretches, but most of them are watching the discussion with amused expressions. On the other side, Toyoko's team doesn't look any different.

Although. Sayu looks angry.

She sits next to Muu on the mat cart, arms crossed. Muu smiles next to her and lets her legs dangle - then, suddenly, she straightens up. Her gaze wanders searchingly across the hall and catches Rei.

A brief moment passes, then Muu's whole face contorts with pity and her eyes wander to the cause that kept them all waiting.

Chiyo sits on the bench all alone, as she has been doing for the past five minutes after the second-to-last student is chosen by Ai to be on a team for dodgeball.

"Sensei," Ai says graciously now, and Rei's gaze shoots to her. She makes a good picture as team captain, standing there in her sports uniform with her hair tied back in a ponytail. One hand on her hip, the other holding the ball under her arm. "It would just be unfair if my team had an extra member."

"Likewise," Toyoko quickly agrees.

There's something about her that Rei doesn't like, and it's not just because she keeps on seeing her around Muu during the breaks. It's perhaps the way Toyoko inelegantly tries to constantly snatch attention from her and her friends. She spoke up quickly and often presumptuously - Rei knew it was mean, but sometimes she thinks Toyoko is the kind who always talks first and thinks later.

"She should just sit out for this round, sensei," Sayu advises from the mat cart, rolling her eyes. Next to Rei, Sayuri fidgets even more.

"Maybe you should sit out, Takagi-san," Sensei Numakura now says angrily to Sayu.

"I'll do it!", Sayuri blurts out and Rei sighs inwardly.

It's the first time since the start of the sports lesson that Chiyo doesn't look like she's in a completely different place mentally. Her head snaps up, searching for Sayuri. Rei realizes with resignation that her gaze only lingers on her friend for a moment. She stares at Rei and her gaze becomes almost questioning.

Rei can no longer say with full conviction that it makes her angry to interact with Chiyo since she indirectly returned her belongings to her. The whole farce with Chiyo gives her extremely mixed feelings.

While the thought of Muu in the bathroom and the horrible things Chiyo said to set that off still makes her blood boil, she also can't help but think sometimes that it's all been going on a bit too long by now. Maybe... her classmate had slowly learned the lesson?

However, Rei would do her damnedest to get involved in this drama, so she just gave Sayuri a shake on the arm, hoping she would stop staring at Chiyo so openly with pity. Her friend, however, barely seemed to notice her.

Before the whole charade can continue, Sensei Numakura claps her hands furiously and announces that dodgeball has been canceled and that they will be doing gymnastics for the rest of the lesson instead. "Get into groups of three!"

This time Rei sighs openly; after all, it's not hard to see what would happen now. She even gives the teacher a sharp look of reproach, but she has already turned away and heads for the equipment shed in the hall. Instead, Rei witnesses Chiyo rise clumsily from the bench and quickly looks away.

She glances over at Muu and realizes that Ai and Yui have joined them, Toyoko is there too and it's obvious they're discussing the group constellation.

"Rei, maybe we should..." Sayuri suddenly says next to her, tugging at her sleeve.

Rei closes her eyes for a moment, hoping her friend has another concern, but eventually has to make herself look at Sayuri.

Although she smiles, uncertainty is reflected on her round face. She observes something diagonally behind Rei and Rei thinks, as a group of girls she can see are about to form one, that it doesn't take a genius to know who's standing behind her.

She is all the more surprised when she turns around and doesn't see the expected sight of Chiyo, not only. Instead, she first sees Sayu, standing a little further away on the center line, arms crossed and eyeing her with suspicion. A few meters to the right, Chiyo shuffles with her head down and catches Sayuri's attention.

Rei swallows. She can't help but feel the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her palms begin to sweat. It does feel like a test. Sayu was definitely watching her, but Muu's group behind her doesn't seem to have noticed that she had wandered off.

Rei also meets Chiyo's gaze very briefly before quickly looking away. She could feel the catastrophe approaching unstoppably. Because within seconds, Sayuri would surely call Chiyo to them. But Sayu was also watching.

Everyone will know, Rei.

What if Sayu had realized that it was Rei who had given Chiyo a tip about her things in the cabinet? What if she had a hunch and was now looking for the slightest confirmation? Or was it a test to see if Rei had taken Sayu's words to heart about not judging too quickly? She had to do something as soon as possible, because if not -

"Reiii. Sayuri-chan!" a bright voice suddenly chirped and her classmate Kana appeared at her side with a little hop. Most look at Kana and see a pretty, sturdy girl with elegant features and striking blonde hair - Rei, on the other hand, sees an angel as she asks, "Do you guys need one more?"

"Yes!" she blurts out, while Sayuri still appears to be answering the question. Relief spreads through her.

Kana immediately starts chatting about how she does ballet in her spare time and knows some stretching exercises she could show them. Rei doesn't dare look in Chiyo's direction, but she wants to give Sayu a glance. A glance that should show understanding that she has taken something away from their past conversation, but just as she is about to look up, someone pushes past her rudely.

Rei almost stumbles against Sayuri, who is startled and asks if everything is okay. She can only stare after the person in confusion and realize that it is Sayu who had bumped into her.

"Rei?" asks Sayuri when Rei doesn't answer.

She gives her overprotective friend a half-smile and rubs her shoulder while muttering, "I think Sayu-san has mood swings."

Rei wishes the following days would be normal, but while the lessons remain challenging even after the exams are over for now, the class is defined by a strange harmony. Rei finds her homeroom very nice - at least that was her first impression when she was new to the school. Looking back, however - well, an outside observer might have said the same about her old class, and Rei knows very well that appearances were deceptive, at least in this case.

Now it's peaceful here.

Chiyo is still shunned, but when there is group work, not everyone avoids having her as a partner anymore and Rei notices that she no longer leaves the classroom during lunch breaks. Instead, there are occasional tense moments in the half-empty room when Muu's group gives her furtive glances and vice versa.

Rei tries to ignore it as best she can, unlike Sayuri. Soon Rei begins to lure her friend out of the classroom during the breaks. It's far too cold most days to go out onto the yard or the roof, the highest of feelings is a short walk over dead leaves when they have to go to the gym, but they visit the library more often, while Rei desperately tries to forget who she had been in this place with first. An afternoon accompanied by a thunderstorm.

Her distractions work well at first. Rei can't risk getting any more involved in this mess than she already is, and thus can't risk Sayuri getting caught in the crossfire. But her friend is stupidly perceptive and sees through her after a few days.

Just then, after a boring hour of Japanese, a commotion emanated from Muu's group as the break began. Rei looked up from her seat to find Chiyo staring intently at the surface of her table. The girl - Megumi - sitting next to her had let her slightly nervous gaze slide repeatedly between her seatmate and Muu and her friends. Rei had looked for the cause - she could only notice that Muu looked kind of pitying, while Ai laughed and Yui had to stifle a grin. Sayu's anger was written all over her face, as it often seemed when she looked at Chiyo.

Once again, the strange conflict had awakened in Rei. She admired Sayu for her protective instinct, but this was all going way too far and Muu... well, at least on the outside she seemed okay. Very different from the crying mess in the bathroom, rather like she herself felt sorry for what her friends did to Chiyo.

Then Rei had discovered a crumpled up piece of paper on the floor near Chiyo's shoes and could roughly imagine that someone had probably thrown it at her. One look at Sayuri was enough to realize that her friend had witnessed the act.

Now they were standing next to the vending machines, each armed with a steaming paper cup of oolong tea, which tasted pretty bad compared to the other vending machines on the streets, for example, but at least it warmed and woke them up.

The pleasant heat under her fingertips isn't enough, however, as Rei notices after a glance, successfully distracting Sayuri from the subject.

"I just hate seeing her treated so badly by everyone," Sayuri sighs, giving her an almost sharp look as she explains, "Chiyo-san."

In doing so, she deprives Rei of the opportunity to ask about the obvious in order to buy some time. Her own tea suddenly tastes even more bitter and she does her best to avoid Sayuri's gaze as she mutters, "I hate what she said to Muu."

Sayuri sighs and her shoulders slump. Her face softens.

"But you can do both, right?"

It makes Rei swallow. For some reason, this conversation feels so accusatory to her, even though she's barely involved. It's true, the way Chiyo is being treated makes her feel bad, just like the scene in the bathroom. She clearly remembers the anger she had felt when Chiyo had tried to confront Muu, the memories that had almost come flooding back...

Her knuckles ached. That was the only thing that penetrated the dull emptiness that had settled around her since it all happened. The chair in front of the principal's office was uncomfortable and the hand on the clock seemed to move in slow motion.

Finally, the door opened and the secretary informed her that her mother was on her way.

Rei had to stifle a groan.

"I wouldn't call it a misstep," Sayuri said quietly. "If Chiyo-san said those things, that's terrible, but..."

Sayuri sighs again and Rei mentally forces herself to relax the tension that has built up in her jaw. She shouldn't feel so guilty. After all, she's helped Chiyo more than she's actually hurt her, which leaves her feeling a little bitter. Especially coupled with the thought that Muu has a much better friend standing up for her, protecting her, albeit through somewhat extreme means.

"I might talk to Sayu and ask her to tone it down a bit or even let it go," she finally says, not liking the sight of such a downhearted Sayuri, though Rei doesn't quite want to judge if she truly means that offer.

Instead of the relief and cheerfulness that Rei had hoped for as a reaction, serious confusion now streaks Sayuri's face. She frowns and opens her mouth slightly, but something Rei doesn't understand seems to be holding her back. Before she can follow up, the bell rings, announcing the next lesson.

"Let's get our umbrellas," Sayuri suggests cheerfully, looking out the window where it has just started to drizzle. Rei, however, finds her tone a little artificial. "I don't want the students who get off after the lesson to steal mine."

By the time they reach the shoe cupboard, where some students have stored their umbrellas due to a forecast of rain, while others are gambling on getting wet (or have a chauffeur), they are out of breath as they have to hurry to avoid being late.

"If we're lucky, sensei will be late," Rei gasps, having to brace herself against the sturdy wood of the cabinet as she holds her sides.

Sayuri, meanwhile, grabs her handy folding umbrella and hangs it around her wrist, but when she reaches into Rei's drawer to hand her her own, her fingers recoil in surprise. Rei has to stifle a groan as she watches, while Sayuri's whole face lights up with admiration.

She pushes herself off the shoe rack to look in her own compartment. As expected, the handle of her cheap plastic umbrella peeks out of the elongated compartment, but - oh.

Beside them only the gloomy light of a rain-washed early afternoon seeps through the glass entrance doors and the buzzing neon lights in the hall provide anything but much illumination, but the gleam still stands out.

It sparkles silver between the spokes of the closed umbrella.

And this is the other thing that disturbs Rei's desire for normality.

The blush shoots into her cheeks as she fishes the chain out of the umbrella. It's a silver necklace with a small pendant. A fish with a tiny green stone in place of an eye.

Someone is leaving Rei... presents.

What started with the box of chocolates, which Rei had thought was a mix-up, was quickly followed by another. Then the next day there was an origami figure in one of her indoor shoes - Chono - a butterfly.

Sayuri had first noticed the tiny box in her seat a day or two after that. Inside was a small palette of eye shadow, almost natural, with a tiny tinge of purple, and a lipstick. One of those pretty ones set in golden metal with decorative engravings, like idols or actresses in movies had.

Sayuri then began to refer to this person as Rei's 'secret admirer'. Rei doesn't quite want to believe it, as the possibility seems so unworldly to her.

"You should wear it," Sayuri says excitedly, looking intently at the necklace Rei has given her. "Then they'll know you received the gift!"

Rei swallows her retort that she certainly won't be wearing it. All of this just doesn't feel right to her, still like a big mix-up. Instead, she finally says, "We should try to find out who it is, don't you think?"

Chapter Text

There is a letter in her shoe compartment. An innocent, pink envelope emblazoned with the kanji of her name - it's almost a cliché. Someone else would have blushed and looked around in surprise, searching for the sender. Rei does this with a delay. What pops into her head is certainly, in some ways, the last thing that would pop into anyone else's head.

“Oh my god!” Kaoru squealed in a fake cute voice directly into her ear, while Ema tugged roughly on Rei's arm behind her to keep her at a distance. “How cute! Rei-chan has a love letter!”

“Give it back,” Rei said, trying as best she could to keep the trembling out of her voice and snatching at the paper Kaoru was waving around in front of her nose with her free arm.

The taller girl pulled it just out of her reach, a few more centimeters and Rei's fingers could have brushed over the familiar paper.

“Awww, no need to be shy, Rei-chan,” Rin said with a sneer. “Who's it from?”

Kaoru took another look at the paper. Her expression became mock horror. Rei thought she looked like an overgrown balloon with the appalled gasping for air and her red face. Kaoru's nostrils flared with the next words and a wicked glint entered her eyes, “Scandalous! But it explains so much!”

“I'm so sorry for you!” Rin said, peering over Kaoru's shoulder and skimming the lines herself. Rei almost had to laugh. It had always been like that with Rin. Her voice sounded genuinely sympathetic in this situation, and though she tried to put on a triumphant face, you could never really believe someone like Rin was as hostile as her friends. Not because she wasn't, but. Rin was shy and very ungainly, but not nice. To Rei, she belonged in the same dirty corner as the others of Kaoru's group.

“It must be awful to be separated from your little lover now!”, Rin continued to speak, actually managing to put on her impersonation of a very bad villainess. She even took an intimidating step towards Rei. Rei stared down at her, expressionless. It was hard to be intimidated by such a small girl.

Rin was so damn pathetic.

“You should take a look, Hisako-chan,” Kaoru demanded in her awful singsong voice with a grin that reminded Rei of a rat.

Her words made her stomach clench.

She hated them all. Kaoru, of course, as well as Rin and Ema, though the latter almost never did anything but restrain Rei, looking just as apathetic as ever and everywhere else; but almost worst of all were Kaoru's hangers-on. They were the ones who either did nothing and watched, or the ones who tried to integrate themselves into the group by suggesting particularly cruel things. Contenders, hangers-on - they sucked, especially when they wore the face of a former confidant. But that was ages ago.

Hisako wore the same barely concealed look of disgust on her face that she usually did, now matched by an angry blush. Rei knew she hated it when people referred to her former... friendship, toward her. As if Rei was a particularly embarrassing experience of her past, like destroying a skirt or making a fool of herself in front of the boys, and Kaoru found it damn funny to constantly tease Hisako about it.

“For the hundredth time, Ishida,” Hisako hissed, nearly spitting out Kaoru's last name. “You know very well that only our mothers were friends.”

She also had a habit of never really looking Rei in the eye. Not when things escalated with Inori, nor nowadays, when Rei was alone and this bored group of bullies were still mourning the loss of their toy. It was a fact that Rei didn't want to think too hard about.

She didn't know if the fact that Hisako might be feeling something like remorse would help the situation.

“But shouldn't you care?” Kaoru asked in surprise, but there was a mean glint in her eyes. She elbowed Hisako almost roughly in the side and wiggled her eyes. “Surely you were Rei-chan's first crush, before Inori!”

Rei could literally see the energy in the group shift. Rin looked nervously back and forth between Hisako and Kaoru, and the way her light hair stood out a little reminded Rei of a small beetle stretching out its antennae.

She also glanced furtively at Ema, but she was staring stubbornly at a wall. Rei sometimes wondered what the tall brunette was really thinking and what made her want to spend time with these people.

Kaoru grinned mockingly at Hisako and the queasy feeling in Rei's stomach warmed a little. If the group started arguing, she could certainly make an exit sooner or later.

But she had been too quick to rejoice, because Kaoru suddenly waved the letter around again.

“Who knows,” she said, glancing around - even at Rei - giving the impression that she was sharing an important secret. “Maybe you wrote such a sweet letter to our little Rei once! Do these lines ring a bell? Dear Rei, they say life only gives you one big something. I know it sounds strange, so please stay with me - but I think meeting you was mine. I could - ”

“Give it the fuck back!” -

“Stop it already!”

Rei blinked in surprise as her own words were drowned out by Hisako's exclamation.

There was a brief, strange moment as they stared at each other. Hisako looked her in the eye and Rei thought for a moment that they were back at the beginning of middle school, together at some boring weekend event.

Then Kaoru exploded.

And luckily, she was aiming for Hisako.

Rei took the tiny moment to finally snatch the letter back, which stupidly drew everyone's focus back to her immediately, Rei readied herself to kick in case of emergency while her free hand stupidly tightened around Inori's letter, crumpling it all the more. She could feel everyone turning on her like felines of prey, then -

“Teacher,” Ema's usual monotone voice cut through the tense silence and she immediately let go of Rei.

Sayuri's association is the first one to be expected. At least, one look at her friend reveals that much to Rei. Her eyes are large and her lips form a tiny 'o'. Rei is just able to reach out and snatch the envelope from her drawer.

The paper under her fingers has a strangely smooth, yet heterogeneous texture. It shines and tiny tendril patterns can be made out if you hold it under the light at a certain angle.

“It can't be,” Rei denies before the accusation even comes.

Amusement mingles with Sayuri's excitement. She raises an eyebrow.

“It must be the one!” she chirps, “Your secret admirer! I wonder if it's an invitation? You have to open it, Rei!”

That's easier said than done.

Rei hesitates to open the envelope. She would have liked to turn around on the spot and flee to the nearest toilet with a poor excuse. Yes, she would have liked to barricade herself in a cubicle, vomit briefly and then devote herself to this oh-so-innocent-looking letter.

But she knows on the spot that Sayuri wouldn't let that pass. She is her friend, after all. And although some of Rei's nervousness is certainly justified in this situation, such a level of anxiety has no right to exist. The last thing she needs right now is for Sayuri to think she's weird.

So she opens the envelope with slightly trembling fingers.

Or at least Rei starts to, then a terrible question finally sinks into her consciousness. Because what if it really is a love letter that she is holding in her hand? What should she do with flattering words on expensive paper? What, with a confirmation buried deep in the back of her mind in the form of a signature?

The inner life that the envelope conceals is just as impressive as its exterior. It's the subtle kind of style, of class, that feels strangely familiar to Rei. It is the image that her mother has tried, and failed, time and time again to build. Elegance hidden in its simplicity, that speaks of true wealth.

The first lines are short but precise. Almost a haiku. Perhaps a well-known quote? The realization triggers a strange tickle in Rei's stomach, then she skims the concluding words and has to swallow.

“What kind of secret?” asks Sayuri immediately, who has of course been reading everything from over her shoulder.

And I cut our hair

Drops spread across the sea

Sharps and grains of sand

Intertwined, You and Me

We’ll both share a secret, don’t we? Finders keepers, as they say. And I’m sure you have found my gifts by now. Please meet me on the rooftop this afternoon. 3:30.

“I don't know,” Rei says, attempting to sound convincing as she folds up the letter and stuffs it back into the envelope.

Although she consciously avoids Sayuri's gaze, she can feel it with a piercing intensity as she inwardly screams at her body not to blush.

“You...,” Sayuri begins slowly and Rei waits for the verdict.

It's not a love letter. It's... Rei doesn't know exactly what it is either, but it can't be one.

Hisako and Kaoru's faces flash briefly in her mind's eye. Rei's hands close around the paper, long since crumpled a hundred times and smoothed out two hundred times. Her fingers tremble and she doesn't want to let go, no, she can't. Not until the ink has completely faded. She's all alone in this place since Inori changed schools, but at least she still has her words... paper that lets Rei hear her voice...

“You said,” Sayuri says more firmly now, and Rei is relieved when her gaze is no longer directed accusingly at her, but scans her locker in search of more gifts. “That we'll find out who it is, Rei.”

Right. This envelope is very different from that letter back then. It's a mystery. Nothing more. Rei doesn't hear a voice when she reads the lines... right?

She straightens her shoulders. “And I intend to do so. With your help.”

“Then show me!” At least Sayuri seems excited and not the least bit scared. “They want to meet you! Do you know what that means?” She doesn't even wait for an answer. “They probably want to confess to you! On the roof of the school too, it's so romantic and - ”

“That's not a confession,” Rei quickly interrupts. Because that would be really ridiculous, wouldn't it? After all, that would mean that someone had a crush on her, which is just... no.

When she says exactly that to Sayuri, she laughs heartily and openly before suddenly taking Rei's hands, which are still holding the envelope. Her smile is affectionate, yes, indulgent, and the gesture so open...

“Rei,” Sayuri says in the same tone she used when she was trying to explain a math problem to Rei. “Someone sends you gifts, like candy, probably self-folded origami figures - jewelry! - and now such a pretty letter. What exactly do you think could tempt this secret person to do otherwise?” Rei begins to loosen her grip because now she is definitely embarrassed, which seems to amuse Sayuri all the more because she giggles: “Please show me, I bet it's sprayed with perfume!”

“And what are you going to do then?” Rei mocks, trying to cover up her awkwardness. “Sniff and find out who's wearing this brand?”

Sayuri conscientiously brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and stands up straight before placing a hand on her chest. “I'll analyze their handwriting and their choice of words and see if they look familiar, silly.”

“And I'm going to look at the clock and realize with shock that we're going to be late for class.”

Before Rei can escape, however, Sayuri jumps in front of her with amazing speed, bracing herself with one hand against the shoe lockers to further block Rei's path.

“You can't escape from me so easily,” she says with a smile and Rei sighs theatrically.

Still hesitant, but recognizing defeat when she sees one, she finally hands the envelope to her friend.

“Well then,” she sighs resignedly. “Detective Sayuri. Do your worst.”

Her friend ignores her mocking tone and starts jumping up and down excitedly, causing the few students who are in the corridors and have not yet entered her classroom to give them quizzical looks. Sayuri doesn't seem to notice any of this, but reads the letter carefully.

Rei joins her and they begin to follow the corridor into the school building. Rei has to be careful that Sayuri doesn't bump into anyone or trip when they reach the stairs.

“It's almost a haiku, isn't it?” asks Sayuri on a heel, covering the last line of the quatrain with her finger. “If you ignore that line.”

Rei suppresses agreeing with her. She didn't want to read too much into it, even if that had been her first thought, and instead gives Sayuri a little nudge to get her to climb the final steps.

“They want to cut my hair,” Rei quips, blowing a strand of her pony that falls across her forehead into the air. “Maybe I shouldn't go to that meeting.”

“Of course you should!” Sayuri protests, completely ignoring the joke. “That way you'll know who it is and besides- It's so romantic! Like in a manga! Think of the beautiful view from up there!” She stops on the landing of her classroom floor and looks intently at Rei. A few classmates push past them and the sun shines through the windows of the corridor. “Have you been-you've been on the roof of the school before, haven't you, Rei?”

Behind the thousands and thousands of rooftops of the city, the sun sets, painting the clouds and sky in shades of red, pink and orange. The view is even more breathtaking than at noon.

Rei takes a moment to tear herself away from the sight and thus notices quite late that Muu is watching her. A smile graces her lips. It's a little triumphant, but it carries another connotation that Rei cannot grasp.

“Yes. I... I've been up there before.”

That seemed to inspire Sayuri, because she cheerfully resumes her walk to the classroom while saying with conviction, “Then you know exactly how romantic it is there!”

“It's cold outside - ”

“ - And that there couldn't be a more perfect place! Well, we don't have a cherry blossom tree on the grounds, not one that's in bloom at least. So if this were an anime, he'd definitely be up there confessing his feelings to you!”

He... Rei can't help but swallow at the thought and suddenly finds it hard to keep her eyes on Sayuri. All the manga, light novels and TV dramas - of course they led to a boy confessing his love to the girl. Sayuri's next words, however, dispel the sudden worry.

“Or her!” her eyes sparkle - if that was possible - only all the brighter at the prospect, as if she had realized something. “Of course! It could be a classmate. Do you have a guess, Rei?”

There's nothing interesting about you.

Thankfully, Rei can't answer this time either, because Sayuri says with some conviction, “I bet it's Yui! She's so cool, she'd definitely have the guts to do it and she seems to like you.”

There is sudden exuberant confusion in Rei's mind because... Yui?! Now she's the one almost tripping over her own feet. To make matters worse, they then enter the classroom and Rei's gaze finds the tall girl whose eyes are resting on the doorway completely by chance. Their eyes meet and Yui salutes... a greeting that has become a sort of running gag over the weeks that Rei had never given too much thought to until... well, until now.

Sayuri's triumphant smile is anything but helpful at this moment.

So Rei spent the first hour of the day, while the teacher wrote equations on the board, brooding over the letter, the meeting and also Yui. There was a tiny ball of nervousness in her stomach that twisted at the idea of meeting the unknown - or perhaps known? - on the roof.

She still couldn't quite believe what Sayuri was so firmly convinced of: that she had a secret admirer. That she had received a love letter. And now, when she had brought Yui into the picture...

Rei would be lying if she said that her eyes didn't wander to the self-confident, almost daring girl more often today.

Yui had been nice to Rei from the start. She is always so confident, so pretty and so cheerful. She has a large circle of friends and is always ready to stand up for them. When Chiyo tried to talk to Rei after the toilet incident, it was Yui who had immediately rushed to her, almost protecting her... She is everything that Rei is not, and maybe that's why Rei feels the way she does at the thought that Yui is the secret sender of the letter.

The fact that Yui is nice to her, that she constantly visits her and Sayuri during breaks to chat or copy, that she stands up for her and protects her in extreme cases, like with Chiyo - all this has nothing to do with Rei, but is due to the fact that Yui is just like that. To imagine anything beyond that just feels foolish.

But then who is it?

After the second hour, Rei's musings had demanded more questions than answers, but Sayuri provides new conjectures, each more unlikely than the next.

Rei has to pull herself together not to laugh when Sayuri very seriously tries to impute a theory of a secret crush on the cold, unpredictable Sayu of all people and justify her mood swings with it.

The thought is too funny, until it isn't. Of course, Rei doesn't believe in the least that Sayu could harbor feelings for her that were better than animosity or at least quite a bit of mistrust, but with Sayu in mind, one line of the letter suddenly seemed to make sinister sense. We'll both share a secret, don't we? Finders keepers, as they say.

A lost bag and a mess hidden in a closet.

Someone knows about it. Or worse. Someone knows that Rei knows and has intervened to help Chiyo find her things...

It has to be Sayu, right? Or maybe even Chiyo herself?

Rei can't tell which would be worse.

“What if it's Kenji!”, Sayuri suddenly exclaims with her mouth half full when they're at lunch.

Then she swallows hard as her own realization surprises her so much.

It is this sentence that brings Rei completely out of her ruminations. In English class, she has been trying to calm herself down the whole time. Realistically, as unworldly as it may seem to Rei, Sayuri's assumption that the letter is some kind of love letter and a confession awaits on the roof has the most stable ground.

No one, neither Chiyo nor Sayu, would use such stationery for a kind of blackmail, and all the little gifts would make even less sense. The candy, the origami figures, the necklace that now dangles around Rei's neck, finely concealed by her school uniform, all fit much better in a deed pattern with a romantic motif.

The only question is who the stranger is. Sayuri's latest guess seemed to have the eagerness to trump the absurdity of its predecessors.

“Why would it be Kenji...” mumbles Rei, more utterly confused than anything else, looking up from the letter she had been rereading. Sayuri's face is a mask of conviction that Rei cannot comprehend at all.

Kenji has only met Rei a few times in the library. He doesn't know her. And above all, he doesn't go to this school.

“Think about it,” Sayuri whispers with conviction, though. At least their discussion has become a little more discreet. “He knows where you go to school. You even told him your class when you were talking about his sister.”

Sayuri's eyes grow wide again and she almost chokes a second time. “That's it! The sister! He wouldn't even have to come here and hide the things himself, he could just ask her to!”

Rei doesn't quite know how to feel about this. Still, the assumption that she's expecting a romantic confession from her secret admirer on the rooftop is foreign to her; something she can't quite grasp yet.

That the latest prime suspect is a boy seems fitting for Sayuri's romance manga and light novel-influenced imagination, but... well, Rei just assumed it was a girl, that's all.

She's already settled with Yui.

Kenji's sister could have actually been acting on her brother's behalf and he could have spent his hard-earned money from his mini-job on these silly gifts to, well, impress Rei?

Something about that must have reflected on her face, because Sayuri asks her out of nowhere if everything is okay.

“I just don't think it's him,” she says defensively, crossing her arms in front of her chest, ”He doesn't know me. But I guess I'll find out later who it is and what they want. That's all.”

Sayuri gives her a thoughtful sideways glance and her voice is more cautious, gentler, than the flustered tone touched by a non-existential love affair she had struck before, “Who do you wish it to be, Rei?”

This makes Rei wince, as it's just one more thing she hasn't even thought about yet.

Her feelings are definitely different at the thought that it's A: a confession and B: that it's Kenji expecting her than they were for that brief moment when she suspected Yui.

She'd been flattered then, and now she felt like she was expecting a chore on the roof of the school that she couldn't put off. But does that mean she wants Yui to be the sender?

So she remains indebted to Sayuri for an answer, but for some reason her gaze falls on a very specific person she's barely paid attention to after the drama surrounding Chiyo and Sayu. Muu looks as cheerful as ever as she laughs at something Yui must have said, because she jokingly smacks her arm while her hair falls over her shoulder in a mesmerizing way, reflecting the ceiling light. Although there are several rows of tables separating them, Rei thinks she recognizes the very specific shade of pink lipstick on her lips.

Rei's knees are shaking even before the last class ends. Meanwhile, Sayuri is getting more and more excited, as much as she can tell by the way her foot bounces up and down merrily. She also keeps glancing at Rei as she wipes the sweat from her hands repeatedly in the folds of her skirt.

When the bell rings, she tells Sayuri that she will do it alone.

“What?!” is the first and expected reaction.

Rei straightens her shoulders and puts on a stern face. “If you're right and this person really wants to confess their feelings to me, that's very brave of them. If you're secretly watching us, it might scare them or give them the impression that we're making fun of them.”

Of course Sayuri understands immediately.

They briefly pass the last half hour by strolling to the shoe cupboards and chatting. The stranger hadn't left anything else behind. The letter is probably his last gift for the time being.

The corridors empty and Sayuri finally takes her leave, demanding that Rei tell her everything in detail, which she ends up having to promise to do so that Sayuri really does make her way home, still considerably more elated than Rei.

When she leaves, Rei wishes she could have followed her. Maybe they could have made another trip to the convenience store. Anything that would have taken her mind off the fear and excitement.

But it's no use.

She climbs the stairs to the roof with a pounding heartbeat she can hear in her throat and a feeling of dizziness. Her mind is filled with seemingly distant memories of a first day at school and a golden evening - barely more than two months ago.

Her walk through the school was accompanied by flashes of thoughts about who the suspect might be. She's ready to meet Yui on that rooftop, or maybe even a girl she hasn't paid as much attention to yet, like Kana or Toyoko.

She is even prepared for a fight with Sayu or Chiyo, as well as a meeting with Kenji, the awkward boy from the library - she still doesn't quite know how she feels about this scenario.

As she lifts the handle of the door, the decision feels final. She can no longer run. But she still needs a moment before she really pulls on it.

She immediately sees who it is, even if she can't comprehend it for a moment.

The person stands with their back to her and clasps a hand around the fence that surrounds the roof, despite the cold.

Last time, the sky was pink, kissed by the evening sun that painted her hair liquid gold. Now it looks strangely pale in the cold light.

Nevertheless.

Rei feels warm at this familiar sight. Yes, there are tingles all over her body, a far cry from the excitement she felt a moment ago. She is still excited, no doubt, but also relieved, amazed and... happy.

“It's you,” she says, realizing at the same moment how clichéd it sounds. But there's no self-loathing, she's too... Rei can't describe it, but she can't stop herself from smiling.

Muu only turns to her when she hears Rei's voice.

There's something wrong with her smile, is the first thought Rei has when she can finally detach herself from the way those eyes reflect the light. The thought is confirmed when it turns into a predatory grin. A tiny voice screams at Rei to run, but it falls on deaf ears. Rei is frozen to the spot and can only watch helplessly as Muu performs an elegant turn and begins to slowly prance towards her.

Her voice sounds sweet as honey, so thoughtful and considerate and wrong, wrong, wrong as she says, “Oh, no~ You didn't seriously expect to find a confession here, did you Rei-chan?”

Chapter Text

“You were the one who wrote the letter?” Is what Rei brings out. A wind that promises winter carries her words over to Muu. Rei feels the need to put her yet warm hands over her ears. But she's too afraid the movement will end in her covering her eyes with her fingers instead, running blindly from what she's found here.

A few seconds ago it was summer for her, the day still long and the world wide and open. And Muu was just a pretty girl on a rooftop, waiting for her all alone. Now the panic in Rei's body speaks that Muu is so much more than such simple words. The primal fear that saved her ancestors from sabre-toothed tigers screams at Rei to flee.

But there is no gatherer in her who had stumbled upon something dangerous in a cave - that much Rei realizes painfully, for everything about her refuses to leave. Standing there, still as a statue, as the beast approaches, she feels at its mercy.

And so she decides against it.

Because if there is no gatherer in her, then - Rei tightens her muscles. She can stand on a rooftop in Tokyo and wait for the storm or the mercy of God. But she's survived worse than anything Muu could want from her.

“I see you like my gifts,” Muu says, still with that smile on her face, as Rei begins to calm down. Her gaze is even sharper now, and although Rei knows that the small silver chain with the fish pendant is carefully tucked under her uniform, she can feel the coldness of the metal quite clearly as Muu continues, “I'm sorry. I didn't really know whether you were the gold or silver type.”

“My grandmother used to say Silence is gold, eloquence is silver.”

“I see, a mistake then,” Muu says now and her words are tinged with a whisper of regret before she smiles again. This time it's a grin. “I'll keep it in mind, next time I buy jewelry.”

Rei manages to put on a smile herself. It's small, tentative even, but it feels like taking a deep breath.

“What makes you think I prefer gold?”

They're facing each other now, so close that Rei is sure that if the wind were to play a trick on them, she'd only have to reach out to grab the blown-away scarf of pink fluffy fabric that's protecting Muu's neck from the cold at this moment, for example, before it could be carried over the fence and the rooftops of the district of Setagaya for good. Muu could do the same. And they'd be standing right there, connected by a pink leash of soft wool.

But that doesn't happen. Instead, Rei feels much more like a little sheep that has lost touch with the flock. It's a very familiar feeling, she realizes.

But Rei can't quite explain why. Call it fate or intuition. She has been running away from this sensation for so long that she has seriously begun to believe she can escape it or ignore it like a call from an unknown number. Irritating for a moment, but quickly dismissed with a shrug.

She did for a while. Fit in brilliantly, even made a friend or two. And this is really just a secret meeting on the roof of a school, but something tells Rei she's walked into something terrible when Muu finally tilts her head slightly. Her smile is now frozen and her gaze as piercing as ever.

“No...” she almost whispers, ”You don't think much of silence, Muu-chan thinks.”

So it was about the thing with Chiyo. It's kind of a relieving realization.

“I will not apologize for this,” Rei says, tight with relief. But instead, her words come out like an accusation. She hadn't considered that. Because when it comes to Chiyo, Sayu is surely the one who makes Muu talk to her.

It's almost pathetic. For her to send someone like Muu. But it could give them both - Muu and her a chance. They could be allies...

Muu frowns. Surely a result of Rei's lapse in tone.

“It didn't feel right,” Rei tries to explain, more conciliatory now. “Just walking away and pretending you didn't see anything, Kusunoki. You have to understand that.”

Her heart skips a beat as the grin reappears on Muu's lips.

“Muu understands you better than you think, Rei~”

Rei tries to suppress the shiver of discomfort that comes over her. Because... that was good, right?

“Please don't get me wrong. What Chiyo did... If-” If it's true that Chiyo said something horrible about you. Rei interrupts herself, because this thought... This thought came to her for the first time. That maybe something was wrong from the very start...

Muu raises her hand in a quick motion and all doubting thoughts abruptly break off. Her frown has deepened and something strange flashes in her eyes, something Rei has never seen before.

Anger.

It's anger, she realizes belatedly, when Muu has already started talking. “I don't want to talk about Chiyo. This is about you, you silly.”

Suddenly Rei is no longer here. Forgotten is the autumn wind that pushes the fabric of her skirt against her legs at that precise moment. Forgotten are the thoughts that haunted her seconds before. About the fact that Rei might have believed a lie and about all the mistakes she might have made on that basis. Rei forgets about the new school, the new district, the new classmate and is back in a place of the past.

“I'm not apologizing,” she said tonelessly, not looking at any of the many people in the yet small office. Rei found no use in it, for she already knew that they were all angry with her. And she was also afraid that if she looked at Kaoru, she would burst out laughing again, like she had in the schoolyard barely two hours ago. Even she could see that this would only worsen her miserable situation, so she preferred to stare at Principal Takahashi's polished desk.

In the last few minutes, she had wondered what kind of wood it was made of, as it was dark but had a slight red tinge. Rei regretted her ignorance of wood types and trees. She had done so while the people around her were arguing loudly and Kaoru had burst into an obviously staged weeping that threatened to take on hysterical proportions. She did that. And of course she wished she was somewhere else.

It was the first time she had ever spoken up.

Rei's mother was less taciturn as she immediately began apologizing to Kaoru's parents - for the hundredth time. She had found excuses that were more ridiculous than anything Kaoru had ever said, which was to say a lot before she had continued with the promises. Rei was affected by a misfortune in the family - which didn't exist, by the way. Rei was just jealous, Ishida-san, your daughter is great and Rei would like to be her friend, but as young girls are... but of course she will do anything to earn Kaoru-chan's forgiveness!

I won't, Rei had thought and then said her next thought out loud. I will not apologize.

Now another discussion had broken out. Rei only managed to catch a few scraps of words. Before she had entered this room, she had been so nervous, but now... well, she felt surprisingly calm.

Director Takahashi moved some documents on the desk so that they covered Rei's patch of polished wood, it was something that darkened her strangely placid mood.

She lowered her chin and her gaze drifted to her hands resting in her lap. Someone, Kaoru's father or the principal perhaps, was saying something, but Rei only understood the word suspension. The knuckles of her right hand still hurt and Rei spotted a few small scrapes.

“She broke my nose!” Kaoru cried again. Then she asked if she could finally go to the hospital, but Miss Ishida hissed angrily, whereupon her daughter's whining became a little quieter.

Rei found a small, dried bloodstain on the sleeve of her uniform blouse and had to suppress a smile.

It had just felt way too good.

“Chiyo's lousy little drama has long been water under the bridge. Your dirty laundry is so much more interesting.”

Rei snaps back to reality.

Autumn breeze. Muu Kusunoki. And threats. Apparently.

“I thought I was trying hard to stay clean.”

Rei meant these words as a joke. But they're actually true. She avoided conflict as much as possible. She refused to get involved in anything forbidden, like stealing test answers and breaking into the teachers' office. She didn't hug back the girl with runny mascara in the bathroom.

Now she's sure she was right about that back then.

“So, clean slate, right?” Muu asks, putting both hands on her hips and raising an eyebrow. “I don't think so. You're not as innocent as you pretend to be.”

Neither are you, Rei thinks. This conversation is proof enough. She tries to push the thought aside. That Muu has spread a rumor based on nothing but a lie and that all the things Sayu, for example, has done in an attempt at revenge were completely unjustified.

She crosses her arms in front of her chest and her gaze wanders away from Muu to the tip of her shoe. She doesn't want to see the truth. “What the hell do you want from me, Muu?” she asks between clenched teeth. She's cold and wants to go home. Hah. That something like this would ever happen. “I haven't done anything to you.”

“Not yet, have you?” asks Muu. It really sounds like a question that underlies some fear. “You haven't done anything. I kept trying to get in touch with you. I gave you my number. But you never reached out to me.”

“You said there was nothing special about me”

The smile is back and Muu's almost pensive expression becomes strangely triumphant. She shrugs her shoulders vigorously. “I guess I was mistaken about that.”

The feeling resonates in Rei. She feels misled.

“I thought you were just being shy,” Muu says in an explanatory tone. She looks far too cheerful as she utters the next words: “Turns out you're dangerous. You broke that poor girl's nose, didn't you?”

“How do you know -”

Muu raises her hand again to silence her. It's a bossy gesture. Rei hates that it works. She hates more that it doesn't seem wrong that this innocent-looking girl, too weak to defend herself, can be like this. She has seen Muu act like this before. She exerts control over her friends. Rei has just been too blind to see it.

“What do you think our class would say about the fact that their new classmate is a violent bully?”

Rei draws in a sharp breath at the word bully rather than at the barely veiled threat Muu utters. She clenches her fists. Because that's simply not true. “You're just making allegations. Why should they believe you?”

Her resistance, finally budding, only seems to please Muu more.

“Of course they believe me, Rei-chan. Especially when I show them the truth in black and white. It's a good thing Sayu knows how the printer works by now.” Muu's gaze turns condescending and her lips curl. “Such a funny thing. If you had helped to get the test answers, Muu-chan certainly wouldn't have rummaged through your file out of boredom. This little secret could have remained yours alone.”

Relax, Rei reminds herself and takes a deep breath. So Muu knows why she changed schools. This is - a catastrophe, completely futile, the end - not the end of the world. She can explain herself. She can plead with Muu. She still has options.

A hint of feigned sadness crosses Muu's face as she sighs and takes a step closer to Rei. Her hand lands on Rei's shoulder and the touch startles her so much that she doesn't dare shake it off. It's a grotesquely twisted way to offer comfort.

“I was devastated, you know,” Muu murmurs softly. “I never thought you could do something like that to someone. You seem so nice.”

Tension grows in Rei's throat, because these words sound far too sincere for Muu to have just threatened her. Maybe they really were. Maybe Muu just made up this complicated plan to confront Rei.

Rei forces herself to look her in the eye.

“Listen, Muu, I don't feel guilty for what I did,” Rei says, forcing herself to keep talking. It's not a good start, but it's the truth. Rei believes it's best to start with the truth. “The girl that I hurt, she...”

She...

What?

She had it coming? She deserved it? Muu's previous accusation gets into Rei's conscience. How is she supposed to articulate what happened to her without sounding like one of those girls who made Inori's life a living hell?

“I want to understand,” Muu says quietly with her head slightly tilted, sounding so genuine.

Rei swallows. Straightens her shoulders. “She made my friend... She's not a good person because she- w-why do you want to know?!”

Rei barely registers Muu's hand dropping from her shoulder and her taking a step back. What does this girl allow herself to do? Bringing her here on this roof and - and...

“What kind of game are you playing?” Rei hisses, because she has no intention of feeling like this again. Cornered. “I-I can't do anything to stop you from telling everyone anyway, o-or can I? Message... message received, Kusunoki. Go and do it.”

In her anger, Rei suddenly finds confidence. Muu apparently has copies of her school file. But what bad things does it say? That she had hit a girl? Maybe. But Rei is sure that she can explain. That the right people would listen.

“Come on,” she says again. Louder. Provocative - Rei has always had a talent for it. “Or tell me what you want.”

The look she gets from Muu is different than she expected. What started with a startled flinch is now a mixture of shock and sadness, as if Rei is the one who dragged her up here and is threatening her.

Muu's lower lip begins to tremble as she hugs herself. “I wanted to help you,” she sniffles, ”Just like in the beginning. How come you never called Muu? Surely Sayuri and you text all the time, right?” Rei freezes and can feel the anger die away immediately. “What do you think Sayuri will say?”

“She'll- will understand,” Rei says, more to convince herself than anything else.

Muu seems to lean a little deeper into her own embrace, her gaze brushing past Rei. She can imagine the girl watching the canal. Or the birds in the sky. “Only if you have a chance to tell her...”

“What do you mean?”

Muu takes a deep breath and... completely dissolves that pose of hurt. Her face is... Rei wishes she had that condescending smirk back, because Muu's look is one of calculation.

“I thought you were boring. A plain little hick who thinks she's better than everyone else,” Muu informs her coolly. “I gave you my number and you couldn't bring yourself to call? At least you stood up for me later - good for you, I might add. Well, you did it, Rei-chan, I admit it. You got my attention.”

Rei isn't sure if she's processed this correctly.

“You,” she begins slowly, barely daring to say the words. It all seemed unreal to her. “You want to be my friend?”

Muu shakes her head bitterly.

“You will be my friend,” she spits in a tone that allows no argument. “You have no other choice.”

“You know what?” Rei can't hold back a laugh. Because this is absurd. “Fuck you. I have- You... you think you could blackmail me into befriending you with my file?! Do you know how weird that is? Go ahead and hand out copies all over the school, it won't get me to do your bidding. I'm sorry, Kusunoki-san, but I have...” Survived worse. “...a certain amount of self-respect.”

“That's news to me,” Muu says, then claps her hands and giggles. “And of course not! That would be silly!”

She even goes so far as to wipe an imaginary tear from the corner of her eye. Seized with renewed energy, she skips two, then three steps towards Rei and takes her hands in her own. It's a sweet gesture, but her grip is so tight that Rei can't just shake it off.

“You're not going to be my friend because of your cute delinquent record, dummy,” she says in a weird croon. “You're going to, because you don't want to get kicked out of school, of course!”

Rei at least manages to release her right hand from Muu's grip, tilting her face to the side because somehow they've gotten pretty close, but still forcing herself to look Muu in the eye.

“The school administration knows about my past, after all, it's in my damn file.”

“Exactly,” Muu purrs ecstatically. “That's why they'll make a huge fuss if they find a weapon that's also school property in your shoe compartment, don't you think? With your criminal past!”

“Weapon? What do you mean – the.. the box cutter? But... but you stole that!”

“That's strange. I forgot to mention that to Naru-sensei when I kindly helped her take stock of the art department after class the other day. We suspected it had fallen behind a cupboard, but if they find the knife in your possession now!” Muu smiles broadly. “What could you possibly be planning to do with it at school, Rei-chan? Mutilate another poor classmate?”

“I...” Rei's hand trembles in Muu's grip and her sting is strangely blurry. “I'll tell the principal...”

Muu rolls her eyes at this desperate attempt. “Like you're gonna be believed. It's not like you haven't attracted negative attention yet. Everyone knows how cold you are towards poor Chiyo! I wonder if people think you're the one who made her things disappear...”

“Stop!” shouts Rei desperately. She returns the grip, clutching Muu's hand and trying not to plead too pathetically for mercy. “Please, Kus- Muu. What do you want?”

Muu beams as brightly as the sun on the day they first met.

“I already told you that! You're going to be my friend, Hikawa Rei.”

Chapter Text

“I like texting – I love those cute stickers, you know? But a phone call is okay too. I'd say at least once a week. And you should finally start calling me Muu, after all, that's Muu's name and now that we're friends, the whole Kusunoki thing should stop, don't you think, Rei-chan?”

Rei doesn't answer. Instead, she watches as her pen moves across the paper and words emerge. Written in black and white. Like any self-respecting set of rules. Then she looks up, as she has done many times in the last fifteen minutes, to signal to Muu that she can continue.

Muu smiles a beatific smile that has remained almost unchanged for those fifteen minutes, apart from the brief interruption when the waitress brought their drinks. Now it is fixed on her lips. Her fingers are interlaced and her elbows are propped on the table as she leans her cheek a little on her hands and watches Rei with half-lidded eyes.

Just for the record, it wasn't Rei's idea to take notes. For her, everything that has led her here has happened in a running stream of growing confusion and disbelief, alternating regularly with the panic and anger that threatened to boil up inside her.

As it should be – because how could it not be, they are talking about Kusunoki Muu after all – Rei finds herself in an overpriced café again. This time, however, not near the school.

The first few seconds after the penny dropped and Rei's fate was sealed, back at Tamagawa High School, there were a few half-finished thoughts about finding a way out. Most dominant, of course, was the idea of pushing Muu-chan off the roof. Doomed to failure, thanks to the high, barred fence, through whose gaps only occasional rays of sunlight fell, which faded as quickly in the shortening daylight as Rei's hope of a pleasant ending.

The first thing her new friend had said to her had been an order.

“Don't make such a serious face!” said Muu playfully. There was no longer any reason to threaten Rei. Her fate had been recognized, sealed and accepted. “Don't worry! I'll take good care of you now, because something tells me you like crepe cake as much as Muu does!”

She then made a phone call and a short time later, there was Tanaki-san's black car with the tinted windows at the door, driving them through Tokyo's busy afternoon traffic for a while without the two girls in the backseat exchanging a word with each other let alone the driver.

Muu texted. With a carefree smile on her lips and without giving Rei a glance. As if she wouldn't care if Rei decided to simply open the door out of panic and jump out into the speeding traffic.

Rei prayed that she would devote herself to more important things. For example, the blow-off command of the sabotage operation that would deliver a stolen knife to Rei's cupboard.

Rei stared out the tinted window, envying the people, cars, houses and stores as they flew past her, blurring only into shadowy outlines and colored lights that didn't care in what position she was in. She knew, logically, that she should say something else pathetic. A plea, perhaps, for Muu to show mercy now that she was playing along, to back off her threat as she had promised, Rei knew that. But all she could feel was numbness, like back then, right after the attack, with aching knuckles and a red mark that almost looked like a flower on the barren ground. It was probably still the shock.

Now she's here in a night neighborhood she's clearly never set foot in, judging by the new cars that meticulously line the parking spaces on the street, the cleanliness that stands out despite such an orderly city, the fact that Rei had heard several people speaking bustling English in her short stay so far and about everyone here looks like they are idols, models or older, moneyed business people who age distinctly gracefully and wear few wrinkles or gray streaks in dark, perfectly styled hair, like medals of honor.

The café, if you can even call it that, has a bar located in the breathtaking entrance area, where a chandelier towers over the guests, all engrossed in business meetings and on the hunt for the next deal. Rei would have liked to stare open-mouthed at this entryway with its gold ornaments, classical background music and freaking  ice-chilled oysters and fish displays for a few minutes, but stupidly Muu had walked straight through the establishment as if she owned it, and Rei was certainly not going to be left behind in this alien company. They had ended up here, after all:

A secluded, less busy area that looks like a small parlor. Its furnishings are a strange mix of Western European classicism and East Asian trendiness. Fine tablecloths and velvet-covered armchairs form the seating. On each table is a floral mix of peonies, bluebells and spider lines, the large number of visitors are teenagers and the current radio hits blend in perfectly with the background chatter. A group of middle school students have claimed one of the screens and seem to be engaged in a karaoke session in a separate area. Plus there's a wine list on the menu.

And one look at the couple of girls their age a few tables away, dressed in Gucci and armed with Prada bags, as well as glasses filled with a bright, sparkling drink that simply has to be champagne, suggests to Rei that certain rules, such as the Youth Protection Act, are not quite so strictly observed, having reached a certain social standing.

Muu does not mimic the order. Instead, they had already received iced coffee, which – if Rei knew a little more about bean quality - would certainly be nothing other than premium... unlike other unsweetened coffee drinks, it lacks any bitter notes, but there is a mild acidity behind the creamy, vanilla-like Hokkaido milk. Nevertheless. Sweetness is missing for Rei. Whether a luxury or not.

Perhaps it's also a blessing that Muu has a very clear idea of what she wants and Rei doesn't have the opportunity to take a look at the menu and the undeniably high prices.

Her free hand, which is not busy writing a rulebook, gently strokes the three coins in her jacket pocket dangling over the chair. Clearly untidy compared to the rest of her surroundings. With her current wealth of 800 yen, she could perhaps afford a glass of water if only she was here privately and not as a prisoner. With bubbles. She guessed it would come with a slice of lemon and an exact number of ice cubes if desired.

“You look funny,” Muu comments suddenly, after Rei has used the short break in writing to circle her wrist a few times and drop the pen.

She raises her eyes and tries not to make the anger so sharp. Ice cubes melt in her glass, symbolizing the little control she still has and how it continues to slip away from her. She has to be careful. She mustn't upset Muu. It's a shame that her classmate doesn't support her in this endeavor.

“Look around you,” Muu prompts when Rei doesn't respond to the insult. “We're not the only guests in school uniform.”

Rei doesn't have to look around, she's obviously already noticed because she's not blind, instead she continues to stare accusingly at Muu. It's good to focus. And her focus is easy to understand: She's here against her will just because this delusional girl is blackmailing her into a friendship. Yes, it's pleasant to hold on to anger. It almost makes Rei feel like she still has self-respect.

Muu doesn't seem the least bit irritated by her scowl. She stretches out her arms and elegant long fingers form the frame of a portrait that captures Rei. Muu scrutinizes her through it, squinting one eye as if she's really taking a picture and looking for focus.

“It wouldn't take much,” she murmurs, ”and you'd fit right in.”

Rei grabs the coffee, takes a sip and decides she doesn't like the drink altogether after all. It is bitter.

Her gaze sweeps over her notes, her cheap ballpoint pen on the snow-white tablecloth and then to Muu. Bright eyes scrutinize her intensely.

“Shoot,” Rei sighs in frustration, blowing a strand of bangs out of her face.

Muu is disconcertingly happy at the request and rolls her shoulders back, now just sticking a finger up.

“First, our uniform can stay for sure, Tamagawa is certainly a respectable school, but even further down the line, it's less about wearing brands and more about keeping your clothes in order.”

She moves forward unexpectedly, slightly to the side and eyes Rei's face from there, watching her, before grinning sardonically. Another finger is raised

“Second. More good news: You wouldn't need a nose job as a celebrity, congratulations!” Rei wants to interrupt her, but Muu continues briskly and raises finger number three. “The things that expose you are obviously your bag, of course, but especially that thing you call a jacket! You know, my mom says only absolute philistines fail to recognize the importance of the transitional fashion and only focus on the main seasons of winter and summer. So. Caught.”

Muu chuckles softly, but her tone becomes more conciliatory and she props an elbow on the table - which shouldn't be appropriate in this establishment at all, but annoyingly still makes her look elegant as she leans her cheek into her palm and she automatically closes the distance by leaning forward.

“However, my mama is also a model,” she explains quietly, as if sharing a secret. “So it's her job. That's why I know so much about how to present your appearance in spheres like this.”

Her gaze takes on something distant that Rei can't interpret, especially not when Muu suddenly, with this reduced space between them, stretches out her free arm and reaches across the table for her.

Her hand moves down to the neatly knotted bow of Rei's uniform.

She has always observed Muu wearing it with a similar neatness, but students like Yui can sometimes be seen tying it loosely around their necks or leaving it off entirely, exposing themselves to reprimands from teachers. Rei never really took advantage of the few opportunities Japanese students had to spice up their uniforms, having grown up in an environment that was the life experience of most students in the country. Standing out is to be avoided at all costs. At Tamagawa, it's a little bit different. Perhaps it's because she now attends a private school or the fact that it's an all-girls school, but the students are allowed to wear their hair long and loose and although stricter teachers turn up their noses at Yui's styling decision to wear a hoodie instead of a blazer with her uniform skirt, Rei has never witnessed any serious consequences.

It made it a little easier to feel less guilty about putting on make-up, even though the school rules actually prohibit it.

Now she is still frozen, staring at Muu, who gently touches the back of her neck until her fingers catch on something. A triumphant grin appears on Muu's lips, but she looks openly pleased and much less mean than she did on the roof. She pulls the chain out gently, without hurting Rei.

Rei can't help breathing a sigh of relief when it's over, but she's obviously rejoiced too soon, because Muu touches her cheek lightly and brushes a strand of hair out of her face so quickly that Rei can barely blink in shock before it's over.

“No pierced ears,” Muu says, sounding genuinely surprised. She leans back in her seat and tilts her head questioningly.

Rei rolls her eyes. “Of course not.”

Pierced ears and piercings stand as a no-go for any public school, certainly above dyed hair and below – God forbid – tattoos.

“I think a few small diamonds would look good on you,” Muu informs her unbidden.

Rei clenches her hands into fists on the surface of the table and lets them go again. Now that she's mentioned it, she notices that Muu is wearing rather striking earrings in a dull shade of gold. She seems to have registered her sudden observation too, because with a slight smile this time she brushes her own hair behind her right ear, revealing another adornment. A small piercing – a golden leaf with a tiny green stone in the middle – adorns her ear almost inconspicuously. How scandalous.

Rei would be lying if she said she didn't find it beautiful. And it's no wonder. Muu is objectively pretty and she doesn't seem to mind that she stands out, no. Rather, she grasps at all the tiny external features that make her distinct from the others and looks for ways to make them stand out, spice them up and turn what could be interpreted as a weakness into a strength.

“What is…,” Muu begins, not taking her eyes off her. “The most radical appearance change you could imagine? It doesn't have to be anything you've done,” she adds, as Rei is haunted by a flashback from her kindergarten days, when she chopped up her bangs with craft scissors and nearly gave her mother a heart attack. “Just something you fantasize about.”

Muu is also leaning halfway across the table again, with that look Rei can barely escape and... She's making it so obvious. This interrogation, Rei thinks. She's looking for weapons, fuel, ammunition. She pokes around, hoping to find something of value that she can use later and turn against Rei.

She's almost offended, because just because Muu once managed to get her into a predicament like her current one doesn't mean Rei is stupid enough to give her more ammunition that could get her deeper into trouble. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me.

So she dares to be a little rebellious, after all, she's already given in once.

Rei tries to keep her gaze as icy as possible - it seems all those charity events of her childhood had some benefit after all - and her voice calm and articulate as she stares into Muu's inquisitive face. Her bright eyes widen a little at the prospect of an answer.

“Implants,” Rei lies in cool explanation, crossing her arms in front of her chest to emphasize her point.

It's immensely satisfying to watch Muu's expression change from smug to outright shocked. Her long fingers flick up and there is a brief flash of her ringlets as she covers her mouth with her hand, but the widening of her eyes is not so easily hidden.

Rei is filled with tingling satisfaction and though she would surely be instantly embarrassed by what she just said in another situation, she brushes off the threat of embarrassment and stands her ground, staring defiantly at Muu and tasting victory. She feels like a lioness who has set her sights on a lonely prey animal.

Actually, their roles are different. Rei's purely logical side knows this. Lionesses of a pride hunt together and, sometimes followed by hyenas, drive a herd apart, pounce on the weakest animals and engage in a long and relentless hunt until the prey is driven away from the rest of the herd and left to die.

But Rei has no herd, not even a pack. Muu is the one with a retinue. But the queen of beasts is just as much at her mercy at this moment as the other way around. And she has allowed herself to make a mistake by showing herself vulnerable at Rei's lonely waterhole to drink.

The moment of triumph and Muu's shock is exhilarating and delicious. It ends far too quickly with Muu catching herself and daring a smile that is just a little nervous, even a little strained. The final strand fades, however, with her witty retort. “Well, you really don't need that after all.”

She emphasizes her retaliation with a look to where Rei's eyes are clearly not. It weighs heavily on her, causing her to tighten the crossing of her arms. Embarrassment belatedly catches up with Rei and she hurriedly searches for a way to defuse this conversation, or better yet, end it completely.

Her fingers reach desperately for the paper on the table.

“Are you finished,” she snaps, glancing meaningfully at the list. “Just because you don't seem to have anything to do, Kusunoki, doesn't mean the rest of the world does. I, for one, have enough other duties after school-”

“Two,” Muu interrupts her sharply. Her voice doesn't need to be loud, Rei notices, and is almost impressed. All it takes is a toss of her hair back, a glance and a cold smile, and Rei is once again bound to her seat with invisible restraints. “Call me Muu. And you can't leave,” Muu adds now, reaching for her coffee. “You haven't tasted the cake yet.”

As if on cue, a waitress suddenly stands next to their table, armed with a tray. She is not the one who brought them the drinks, nor is she the first to take their (Muu's) orders. However, the three women have more in common than their pretty uniforms. All three looked pretty, in their twenties, and had bright smiles.

“Thank you, Megumi-san,” Muu says as the waitress places two plates in front of them. Rei tears herself away from watching the woman's elaborate updo and realizes that there is not a trace of a name tag on her uniform.

“No need to thank me, Miss Muu,” Megumi flutters and indicates a tiny bow. Her actions are cordial, but less respectful than those of Tanaki-san, who is undoubtedly Muu's employee. She sounds more like an older sister.

Nevertheless, Rei is surprised that they seem to know each other when the café waitress leaves. This can only mean that Muu comes here very often. That and the fact that she doesn't take out her phone to take a picture of the work of art when she sees the dessert she's brought.

There is a tiny lake of white cream on the crêpe cake, with a selection of blueberries, raspberries and blackberries draped over the top. Powdered sugar and white strips of chocolate are scattered in stripes on top. They form floral ornaments next to the cake. Leaves and tendrils made of chocolate. A tiny heart on the edge of the dish.

The plates are light green and of a special design that Rei quickly recognizes. Kintsugi. Shards that bear witness to a past breakage form the tableware and are held together by a shiny gold glue.

“Finally,” Muu announces and promptly reaches for the cake fork. She immediately takes a stab at it, as if destroying something so pretty is an everyday occurrence for her.

In a trance, Rei grabs her fork herself and lets one of the tines trace the gold trail between the shards. It leaves a thin line in the wafer-thin layer of powdered sugar above. Rei has always liked Kintsugi. The way brokenness adds so much specialty to a once ordinary thing.

“You should definitely try it!” Muu demands cheerfully, pointing a tiny knife over to her.

It's a pretty thing. Small and delicate, like the equivalent of a cake fork, even if Rei has never seen anything like it. However, there are probably very few cakes that can be eaten with a knife and fork. Crêpe cake is probably something special between cakes and pastries. Multi-layered.

Rei hesitantly tries to cut off a piece without spoiling the overall work of art too much. She can only delay the destruction. The crêpe shards can hardly be saved with glue made from chocolate and cream.

It tastes wonderful. That much can be said. A sweetness that warms Rei's insides, makes bitter coffee just right and leaves her feeling like everything is going to be okay, if only for a moment. The lightness of the crepe combines with the sweetness of berries and the filling pleasure of cream and chocolate. There is something forbidden about the taste. Like the dessert a child steals before dinner and enjoys in their secret hideaway with their best friend.

“It's good, isn't it?”

Muu looks seriously happy. Her fork half disappears into her mouth and she smiles without triumph or malice, but happy nonetheless.

Rei decides to ask a counter question, “Are you bringing all your friends here?”

Muu shrugs and only answers after another bite. “If they want to,” she says casually. “They have good offers for karaoke nights.”

Rei feels broken, like shards. She doubts Muu's gold dust can put them back together again. Perhaps, ironically, there is a way out in the rules, a loophole into which she can stick glue.

Muu's smile takes on a note of encouragement.

“I can bring you back here. Or not, if you don't like it. We could find something else fun to do.” She sighs and lowers her fork. It's hard to find the malice in moments like this that she caught Rei in the trap with. Like Rei just imagined that part and is the one who's completely wrong. “It could work for both of us, you know.”

Now silence hangs over their table. Neither Muu nor Rei are eating, because Muu is watching her and the smile fades and Rei... Rei once again finds the list and stares holes in it until a noise makes her look up.

“I have an idea!” announces Muu cheerfully again, clapping her hands and then promptly snatching pen and paper. “You could also add rules.”

She immediately removes the cap and places the tip of the pen on the next line under the last point Rei wrote. Her gaze is prompting and she reminds Rei of an overzealous reporter eagerly awaiting her statement.

Swallowing suddenly feels difficult as all of Rei's attention is demanded again. She panics slightly. This is probably a fundamentally true statement. The traces of her relatively young past frighten her, as do the expectations of others, and some days the world seems so big and so much that even getting out of bed takes courage.

Rei is afraid of saying the wrong thing, she is also afraid of saying nothing at all and watching bad things happen. Rei is afraid of losing control, she is afraid of turning the front door key in the lock when she gets home and stepping over the threshold - Rei is afraid of everything and then sometimes, when all seems lost, she is afraid of nothing.

And this is the root of her fear. She is afraid of what she might be capable of if she sheds all fear.

Rei is blackmailed into a friendship by Muu, but sitting here listening to her rules and writing them down has a strange comfort. She likes that the two of them craft a framework. That she can stick to rules like memorizing a script.

She just has to make an effort now and maybe even think of something to make this at least partially work out in her favor.

“I don't want to...” Rei finally answers, and her hand finds the fork handle. The coolness of the metal steadies her, “...hurt anyone.”

Muu blinks once. Then twice.

“Hurt, in the sense of breaking a poor classmate's nose bone?”

“Hurt, in the sense of stealing from classmates and pouring water over their things.”

Muu puts her pen down and leans back a little in her chair. One of her elbows finds the armrest.

“That makes two of us. Muu would never do something like that.”

“Hurt,” Rei repeats again, pulling her hand back as she accidentally digs her index finger into the tip of a tine. “In the sense of spreading false rumors.”

The hint of a smile slips across Muu's lips.

“Your wish is my command,” she finally says, shaking her head indulgently. “But you should start thinking about yourself! Give me a good point and not such altruistic posturing.”

And what would that be? All the rules that come to mind would be designed to get as far away from Muu as possible. Surely she wouldn't approve of Please don't talk to me ever again or Stop it and leave me alone. But right now, Rei lacks any logic, even though she should be so desperate to turn things in her favor.

If it doesn't work, Rei thinks weakly. If we're not going to be friends, can you please leave it at that? But she can't possibly say that, can she? It would only goad Muu on; reassure her in this endeavor that she would only try harder and not give up.

Maybe...

Maybe the solution lies on the other side. Maybe Rei should stop resisting and play along instead. Become the greatest friend imaginable. If she was accepted into Muu's circle, it would be easy to find out the truth behind all the unanswered questions. She would find out who is really in charge and appeal to Muu's humanity through kindness until she let her go.

It sounds difficult and Rei's sudden eagerness is certainly not due to a plan on how she would go about it, but... There is something else. The tiny tingle that stirs in the face of danger.

Muu has fascinated her from the very beginning and now she is a closed book just waiting to be deciphered. Rei is forced to do this. She is forced to be here and has to remind herself of this far too often than she would like. Because Rei has always had a weakness for puzzles.

So she will play along, but won't let it all be taken away from her. After all, the ball is in her court. She has suddenly become an interesting toy.

In a way, it's easier now that she's already lost. All she can fight for is to keep what little she has left.

“Sayuri.”

Her voice sounds firm, somehow almost unfamiliar. Rei suddenly sits up straight as well, and now that she has an overview of what she can work with, she no longer feels compelled to slouch. These are not just Muu's negotiations.

“I'm Sayuri's friend. Her real one” – This stings, Rei sees, if only for a moment, as a tiny twitch of Muu's mascara-darkened eyelashes. It feels just as long as a final blow, but still. Rei juts her chin. “That won't change either.”

Again, Muu reacts slightly off the exact timing. Too fast this time. She nods once in assent. Then once more, as if assuring herself, and smiles her superficial smile of friendliness.

“Of course, of course! Little Sayuri is a blessing! Especially for Ai's nerves, considering how she helped Yui in math the other day.”

Rei bites her tongue and swallows down a comment about how they'll never know the extent of Sayuri's tutoring, since the test solutions were stolen and the paper passed by cheating. Instead, she extends her hand.

“Here's to good cooperation.” Rei intended it to come out as a joke. It turns out serious and increases in severity as Muu grabs her hand and shakes it. They look into each other's eyes. Rei doesn't know if she's looking for something specific or waiting for anything, but it feels fitting.

The nature of their meeting would have been much more suited to the next room. They set the terms of a deal. As formal and unemotional as possible, because that's all Muu deserves. Rei makes a deal. With the devil.

And both can only hope that their plan succeeds.

Chapter Text

Rei used to have a cat. A kitten, to be precise. Looking back, she's still a bit miffed that she didn't at least make it into the regional headlines. She's pretty sure she broke a national record as the briefest pet owner ever when it turned out shortly afterwards that her father had allergies.

Rei remembers how proud and grown up and happy she felt about having a pet. Even today, nearly ten years later, she can almost reach out and touch it. That feeling of responsibility. The feeling of being needed by someone.

Now, in the middle of the night, in a pitch black room, she stares at the almost undetectable ceiling and wonders if this is what Muu sees in her. A pet.

The thought is humiliating and chilling at first.

After that, it is perhaps the best thing Rei can hope for from this alliance.

Most people take good care of their pets. Then again, Muu doesn't seem like most people.

Rei's eyes squint shut in a flash as she presses the button. She blinks a few times against the bright screen light of her cell phone that she groped in the darkness. Then she reads the very short chat with Muu again, knowing that more messages would soon be bound to follow.

Muu wasn't lying when she said she liked the stickers. Her short message about wishing Rei a nice evening, which she must have written in the car while Rei was climbing the stairs to her apartment, is finished off with an animated bunny sticker.

It makes Rei a little angry, as she actually likes these things too. Sayuri always sends the best ones and they had sometimes made it a pastime to surprise each other with new stickers when they texted each other.

Now Muu also shares this fondness.

However, it didn't mean that Rei would give her that much.

She reads her message again and finally nods with satisfaction.

Thank you for today's treat. I liked the café. Enjoy the rest of your evening too, Muu-san.

There's a fine line between politeness and aloofness that makes the distance between the lines so great as to make the unspoken resentment clear even to someone uninvolved. Rei would have preferred to use Muu's last name as well, since that seems to be something that really bothers her, but that's one thing Muu won't easily excuse now that Rei is in her trap. She'll try to let it pass with casualness in future conversations. She should be sure of that.

“And suddenly it's so crowded in here,” Yui says with a wide grin, melodramatically sweeping her notes from the math lesson she just survived across the surface of the table. They slide a little until they land on Sayu's desk, who is still busy writing. The movement causes her hand to move unexpectedly and she clearly messes up the next note.

Her head immediately snaps up and with a furious look on her face, she appears to be seeking Yui to dagger her with it. Instead, her eyes meet Rei's. Sayu's head immediately snaps back down and she is engrossed in the lesson content again. A deep frown remains.

Rei lets her eyes roam over the other girls to see if anyone has noticed.

Yui is right with her comment. Muu's friends always put the desks together during the lunch break and form a kind of big table where they eat, chat or do homework - usually all at the same time. However, there are often other girls at this table besides Muu's closest friends Yui, Sayu and Ai. Rei has observed the process a few times. It's not always the same girls, and they're not always the immediate ones sitting next to them. It's also not as if a queue of students who want to sit at the table that day forms every lunch break - this has never really happened, at least Rei has never noticed such things, instead the chosen ones seem to have arranged to meet members of this clique beforehand or have perhaps been invited.

Today there also seem to be a few lucky ones: Himari and Ichika. They are sitting at the other end of the table and have done nothing but send angry glances in Rei's direction since the break began.

Just before third period, Rei had experienced an invitation process in person when Ai had come to her seat, exchanging a phrase or two with Rei without responding to Rei's curt answers. The girl had smiled politely, asked Sayuri if she had gotten the same result as her on one of the math problems, and then had suddenly quieted down a bit.

“Come join us at lunch, will you?” asked Ai, with more finality in her voice than a question deserved. Rei watched her face, which hadn't changed in the slightest - still polite and open - and wondered inwardly how much she knew.

Rei resisted the urge to cross her arms defensively. She knew from the knot in her chest that she was in no position to refuse. But then a glance towards Muu's table, realizing that this nice interaction was definitely being watched, was enough to tighten the muscles in her jaw.

She blinked once too long and put on a slight smile before raising an eyebrow and turning to Sayuri. It was too dangerous to refuse. But Rei wouldn't agree, yet she knew very well that Sayuri, especially under pressure to answer quickly, would accept the invitation for the courtesy alone for the both of them.

“So it's a deal then,” Rei said with feigned cheerfulness after exactly that happened. Ai still fixed her with that polite smile and nodded before turning and returning to her own seat.

Rei wondered if the coldness she thought she found in Ai's gaze was just her paranoia.

She doesn't look angry now. She talks most to the others who aren't in her clique. Earlier, she asked Sayuri about the math problem and the two of them bent over the calculator for a moment. Of course, Ai has the unit model that was on the book list that Rei's parents received when she transferred here. But she had freshened hers up a bit by putting tiny stickers and gemstones on the cover.

Rei didn't dare to do that. From Ai's reputation as a straight-A student and member of several clubs, she's surprised she dared. It's the little things that Rei notices more and more now.

Looking around, she finds all sorts of discreet things that would be clear rule-breakers at another school. All the girls at this table are wearing some form of makeup, excluding her and Sayuri. Himari is the most obvious with it, since she wears so much foundation that part of her scarf is always stained with it when she puts it on on her way to school in the morning to protect herself from the cold.

Ichika and Yui wear brown mascara that is barely noticeable, while Ai wears something sparkly on her eyelids. Like Muu, she has earrings, although hers are much tinier. She also only has one piercing per ear. It's hard to tell that Muu actually has more, as her ears are usually covered by her hair and she doesn't always wear jewelry. Most noticeable of all, however, is Muu's lipstick.

It's the same one she gave Rei in the bathroom and later left as one of those gifts. Rei should have known back then that the sender was Muu. At the time, she just told herself that it was a coincidence and that she couldn't remember the brand anyway. Either way, the thing lies unopened in her room.

Rei doesn't use makeup at school. There was a time when she had some with her or even wore it, but now with a fresh start she didn't want to go against the rules. At least since the bathroom incident, she knows that she was too careful in this regard, but nothing has changed yet.

She uses lip balm against the cold air and religiously applies sunscreen to her face almost all year round, which probably doesn't set her apart from the rest of the Japanese female population.

Her mind wanders as she ponders what form of makeup Sayuri likes to wear in her free time.

“Oh, I have problems with that too,” says Himari now, one of the two girls, holding her vocabulary book. A test is coming up soon. She tilts her head tentatively, a question, and looks hopefully diagonally across the tables at Muu. “Muu-chan, you're so good at English! Maybe we could quiz each other?”

Her look is somewhere between hopeful and full of devotion. Rei briefly sees Sayu roll her eyes and bend even lower over her notes before looking back at Muu.

At the mention of her name, she paused with what she was doing on her phone. She smiles kindly now and takes her time setting the device down straight on the table. She props an elbow on the surface of her desk and rests her cheek in her hand, her gaze flitting over Rei and the others very briefly before giving Himari's hopeful face her full attention.

“No,” she says after a short pause. “I'm eating lunch, Himari-chan.”

She subtly points to a bento box she hasn't touched in the last ten minutes.

Himari's face closes up, she obviously has to swallow, and her gaze darts back and forth between the witnesses and Muu.

“I'm so sorry,” Muu adds regretfully. “Another time, yes?”

The girl nods quickly and wrings a brave smile. “Thank you so much!”

“I-I can quiz you,” Sayuri says. Rei has to resist the urge to close her eyes. She looks to Muu, whose expression shows mild interest, to Himari, who looks first surprised and then angry.

Rei sees her swallow a snippy reply, controlled to control her expression. Then Muu claps her hands in delight, calling it a great idea and oh well. So the decision is made.

The worst part is that Muu then suggests that Ichika and Sayuri switch places for the sake of simplicity. The former immediately accepts the suggestion to sit closer to the action and Sayuri just sees a logical decision so she can practice better with Himari, leaving Rei alone as she moves to the end of the small table. Rei looks after her longingly, wondering if she could get away with pretending she wanted to practice for English too instead of avoiding Muu's gaze.

After Muu watches as her friendly advice is immediately put into practice, she turns her attention back to her phone and shows Yui something.

Rei looks at her new seatmate and considers starting a conversation with her. However, one look is enough to stop it. Ichika doesn't even look at her, but keeps her eyes glued to Muu and Yui, who are again amused by something on Muu's cell phone.

“So, Rei-chan,” Ai says, tossing long, light brown hair over her shoulder. Rei notices that she always sits very straight at the table; she can hear her mother's voice in her ear, hissing at her to sit up straight, and subconsciously straightens her posture when she's addressed so directly. Ai eyes her carefully, though she smiles politely. “Do you have plans for the weekend yet?”

Rei forces herself to choke down the answer that usually comes to her when Sayuri, for example, asks such questions. She doesn't. Rei rarely has plans. And this answer sometimes leads to Sayuri and her doing something lately. She glances briefly at Muu.

Her posture hasn't changed, she seems to be involved in a giggle with Yui, but- ah. There it is. A tiny, curious glance before she hides behind the phone screen again.

This isn't like Sayuri. All her words are heard.

“I'm usually busy,” Rei lies. Another time, she might have worried about how easy it is to lie straight to Ai's face. “Before I moved, I had to help my mom prepare for some event all the time, so now I'm enjoying the new freedom and doing something else instead.”

Very convincing.

“Like what?” asks Ai, and everything crumbles.

“Um,” Rei says, glancing briefly at Sayuri but glad to see she's engrossed in practicing with Himari. It would certainly be some new information for her to learn here, and Rei would hate the thought of feeling lied to or betrayed. “Getting to know the city, really. My old school-home was so far out that there was little more than a nice cafe nearby. Everything is much more accessible here.”

That's very good. Excellent. Except Ai smiles eerily triumphantly.

“Oh, Rei!” she says exuberantly. “Why didn't I realize this before, you really need people to show you around the city!”

Oh fuck.

“A meet-up?”

“Yes,” says Rei.

Her mother stares at her across the table. The ladle she was about to fill is floating in the rice bowl. Rei feels a small sense of triumph at the delay. As if she is buying her father a little time.

The two of them sit at the table for dinner. It is set for three. Rei's father is not here yet. It was a new favorite topic of argument with her parents. Mr. Hikawa's new job makes him come home late and her mother is very fond of complaining - along with everything else - that he deliberately keeps her painstakingly cooked dinner waiting. When he arrives, the plate prepared for him is usually already cold.

Rei doesn't quite know what to think about this new topic of argument. She doesn't like being in the same room as her parents when they are arguing at all. But the development means that they have regular dinners again, like back then, in the very old house, when they lived with Grandma. Later they still had it, even though Rei's parents were increasingly busy with work or charity events.

At first, she had even welcomed the current change. Her mother had suddenly been happier cooking for the family a few weeks ago and they'd even had a few happy dinners together - Rei hadn't been used to eating anything other than leftovers, Cup Noodles or what she made herself.

The constant eating continues to this day. With the exception that her mother has recently brought her mealtime forward.

Now she raises an eyebrow.

“Isn't there a test coming up? In... Japanese?”

“English,” Rei corrects quietly. Her gaze slides down to her filled plate, but she quickly forces herself to look up again. Her mother appreciates that. When you look her in the eye when she's talking to you. “Today. It was... I think I passed. It was vocabulary.”

“Ah. So it's your little friend again? The one with the bento? Her name was Yashida Sayuri, right, do you know if her mom is the Mrs. Yashida who writes for the local paper?”

Rei's throat constricts. Actually, she really doesn't know what Sayuri's parents do for a living, but it could well be that her mother is that columnist and her friend mentioned it once, but Rei just didn't listen well enough to be sure. And then there's this feigned interest. Last time, Rei's mother still thought Sayuri was a boy. Rei is actually quite happy that she never has to say much about her new class at dinner, for example. This almost feels like a trap and the hope in her mother's eyes leaves her with the uncomfortable thought that she's longing for something bigger.

“No, I don't think so,” Rei says, even though she has no idea. “And it's not about Sayuri, it's about another... friend. She's also in my class. Her name is Muu. She's half-French, I think.”

Something ugly tightens her mother's facial muscles for a moment. Then it slips away quickly, like the shadow of a passing bird that briefly stops the sunlight from falling through the window. Rei still knows what it is, even as the familiar mask slides softly forward. Graceful politeness, a gentle smile. Enough to shine at charity events, swarmed by women who were like her or wanted to be like her. But it's not enough, Rei thinks the same mantra-like phrase that has been echoing through her head her whole childhood. All the skill that has gone into rehearsing and perfecting a mien and appearance of elegance is not enough - never has been - to disguise the coldness of her eyes.

“How nice,” says Rei's mother with the same kindness with which she always lowers her voice when she disapproves of something altogether.

The same anger Rei felt towards her classmate a few weeks ago flares up inside her within the trepidation. She should have ignored it then, when it had probably all been after a mere lie. She still doesn't know if Chiyo really said the things to Muu that she says she did. She doesn't know anything, really, only that she bit her instead of swallowing it and that it was probably a mistake. Now reason tells her to do it for real this time.

Swallow it. Because in this situation, her mother's hated resentment and prejudice is coming in handy, isn't it? Rei should welcome the fact that her mother is labeling this new 'friend' in her daughter's life as bad company, even though she knows nothing about her.

But Rei can't.

Not like this. And certainly not for that reason. And that's why she's angry, because her mother is angry that Rei has a new friend, and angry that she doesn't want this friend, but then angry that her mother would rather she didn't have her, just because she knows she's Hāfu.

And then something terrible happens.

Because Rei can feel her anger at herself, her mother and the situation turning into something else. A kind of defiance and a fierce determination and the tiny, dangerous hint of excitement at doing something her mother disapproves of. Tiny and yet with the danger of carrying a spark to where a forest fire might start.

“We had a deal, didn't we?” says Rei's mother now, still with that false sweetness in her voice. Rei looks up and she smiles thinly down at her. “You're still focusing on your grades, aren't you, Rei?”

“Of course,” she says immediately.

After that, she tries her best to become stiff as a board under her mother's gaze, but not to appear anxious. She studies her every move instead, as she reaches again for the rice bowl and then for Rei's not-even-half-empty plate to add up some more rice without looking. Rei watches it all as a snake would, getting ready to bite.

By the time Rei was in middle school, her mother had decided that they were henceforth Christian because her newest circle of acquaintances consisted largely of a housewives' Bible study group that met on Sundays after mass at the local church and chatted and gossiped over coffee table books and discussed the latest church fundraising goals - always involving some event planning for charity.

As a result, Rei had been sent to Sunday school for a period of time, which she hadn't known existed until her first day there. That all lasted perhaps only a year - then her mother had decided that they were back to being regular Shinto (and then they had gone vegetarian for about a month before her mother had discovered something new again).

Still, for some reason, Rei couldn't help but think of a quote from the Genesis story at that moment.

The Lord God said to the serpent,

“Because you have done this,
cursed are you above all livestock
and above all beasts of the field;“

Rei doesn't know if her poison has any effect. But the flow of the quote feels fitting. There was an enmity between woman and snake and if given a moment she would bite.

Her mother finally breaks eye contact, shakes her head disapprovingly and pushes the bowl over to her.

They eat in silence for at least the next five minutes. Rei fiddles with chopsticks, thinks about what homework she is about to do and makes a mental estimate of how many more grains of rice she will have to gobble down before dinner ends.

But the unpleasantness of this silence crawls to her like an adder through a field. Rei has never been able to stand it for long. The discomfort digs its way up her neck, deep into her scalp and takes root in the pit of her stomach. She can't quite define what it is. Shame? Guilt? Pure self-preservation?

It drives her to do what she has always done. She reaches for words. Her shields and weapons of defense. She's not good with them, of course not, but at least she knows how to defuse it a little, the art of not burning herself too much, but hurting just a bit, enough to keep a peace that exists more in her mind than in reality.

Rei knows that this is selfish. That she only eases her own conscience, but never has enough courage to seriously fix things.

“I know you and Dad sacrifice a lot for me,” she says, staring at the rice bowl as if it's her only interlocutor. At least the bowl doesn't have a sharp stare. “I'm grateful” - She quickly corrects herself before her mother can. “Very grateful. I'll try to be better, I promise. I've been trying.”

“Your last few grades were good,” Rei's mom says. She looks up and she doesn't look so sharp anymore. More thoughtful. Rei also realizes that doesn't reassure her. “I just don't want to...” her mother says slowly, as if Rei is not alone in thinking her words through very carefully. Then she sighs. “Who is this girl, then? Not another little welfare project, I should hope.”

Rei wants to laugh at the thought. Then she thinks of the one her mother is actually insulting and it chokes in her throat. “She is,” she presses out. “She... has a lot of friends. They want to show me around the inner city.”

Rei's mother raises an eyebrow. “So she's popular? Your friend?”

“You could say that.”

Her mother nods thoughtfully. Or meaningfully. Rei isn't sure. Then her whole attitude changes. She even goes so far as to give Rei some of the meat she's been saving for her father.

“Maybe you should take your new friends out for coffee then, sweetheart. To express your gratitude,” she says in a chatty tone. “Do you have plans for what you want to do there?”

Rei tries not to let her confusion show. She had either said something very wrong or very right, if her mother is now willing to give her money for something like this. Although her mother's mood has visibly lifted, Rei now feels even more insecure.

Belatedly, she replies: “Shopping, I think.” Her own mood darkens at this thought as she realizes why. “Muu thinks I have no fashion sense.”

“What?!" snorts Rei's mother and Rei stares in disbelief. She has often seen her mother angry. Sometimes in private, when she was arguing with her father. But mostly just a seething of passive aggression full of pointed smiles, cruel words and cold eyes. 

This is completely new. A kind of amused indignation. Rei must also realize that it makes her feel good, as if this were Sayuri's first reaction, for example. Like she has someone on her side. 

“That doesn't even make sense,” Rei's mother follows up, shaking her head in disapproval. “This girl has only ever seen you in uniform, hasn't she?”

Rei makes the horrifying realization that she agrees with her mother. She even nods. Her mother looks like she's figured out a difficult pattern. 

“Who does she think she is!”

Rei finds herself well on her way to smiling when suddenly the lock in the door clicks. That's when everything freezes. Her. Her mother. All that can be heard is the door opening, then the rustle of clothes, and finally footsteps in the hallway.

They slow down very briefly, Rei realizes. Then her father comes in with a look of armor on his face. His shoulders are tucked up under his dress shirt, he must have already slipped his jacket off somewhere in the hallway and his fingers are fiddling with his tie while his small eyes dart back and forth around the room. 

Rei sees the whiteness of her knuckles stand out as her hands tighten. She is braced for what is about to happen. Beside her, the chair squeaks across the wooden floorboards as Rei's mother rises quickly. 

“Sit down, sit down!” Mrs. Hikawa waves down to the vacant chair.

Rei's confusion is reflected in her father's face. He begins to walk towards her, walking unsteadily as if crossing a minefield. 

“You won't guess what Rei just told me, honey,” Rei's mother says exuberantly as her husband pulls the chair back. “Oh!” Her hand hovers over the prepared plate. “This must be cold now.”

Something about her father's shoulders sinks down, very briefly, but Rei has seen it. 

“Sorry about the traffic...” he starts to say, but Rei's mother waves it off as quickly as ever. 

“Don't worry, I understand,” Rei's mother says gently. She is still standing and her hands briefly stroke the back of his neck. Rei stares across the table at the couple with her mouth open. “Would you like me to warm it up for you?”

Something brushes across Rei's father's face that must surely be confusion, but then he shakes his head firmly and smiles. "No, thank you, darling. No need."

“Good, good,” Rei's mother half-sings, picking up on the smile. Rei forces her mouth to close as she feels spit forming. 

Her mother reaches for the plate of meat and scoops up a huge portion for her father, then fills his mug with warm tea. “Your daughter,” she says and sits back in her chair. “Has plans for the weekend.”

“So I can go?” asks Rei, trying to look like what she's witnessing here is very normal and commonplace. It's surprisingly easy for her, after all, it used to be. Even if it feels like a lifetime ago. 

Her mother nods exuberantly. “Of course, you have to!”

“Plans?” Rei's father asks now. 

“With a couple of girls from her new class!”

Her father smiles again, this time directed at Rei. “You've made some friends, little river?”

Something inside her flutters, at the nickname alluding to the kanji used to spell her family name. Her father often called her that when she was younger. So small that they still lived in the old house with her grandmother, in a very rural area. Rei's father always said she was like a brook when she babbled softly and moved around on walks. Forever heading towards a certain destination, but always taking seemingly random turns. 

Though she shouldn't, she smiles as she tells her parents about her classmates - not much really. Something about Yui, which makes them laugh, and a comment about Ai getting top grades and taking piano lessons, which earns her an approving nod from her mom. Rei wants to unpack the bad things. About the bag and Sayu and Chiyo. Of box cutters and lies. And of Muu, of course. 

Muu, who knows everything about Rei - who has black on white evidence of Rei's past. Who knows how to push her buttons. Muu's knowledge of bullies' broken noses. Of Muu blackmailing Rei. 

But she knows it would do no good - none at all. The highest of feelings would be for her mother to take her out of school and isolate her. And then Muu would have every right to make good on her threat. Rei doesn't think she can do it. 

Starting over - again. And it's not as if that's even a possibility. Her parents have sacrificed everything for this school. It's her very last chance if she plans to go to university. The transfer and its reasons look bad enough on her records as it is. 

Plus there are her parents right now. They get on well. They laugh and listen to her and that alone makes her swallow any harsh remarks about her classmates. It's not as if Rei is lying. She likes her class, she really does, which is why she is so willing to fight. 

However, there is a small consolation when Rei gets to Muu. 

Because again, her mother nods vehemently. “That girl!” she says, as she did earlier. “She's got a lot of nerve, she says our daughter has no taste!” Mrs. Hikawa gives Rei's father a look that obviously encourages him to get just as upset about it. He seems to succeed with little effort. “Half-French,” Rei's mother then adds in a knowing tone, as if that explains everything, before she laughs sincerely. "Another little social project. Sweetheart, you can't stop trying to help people out, can you?"

Rei thinks this is another thing she's not good at. Describing things. Well people at least, because somehow she's drawn Muu as a social project, someone less gifted - Kusunoki Muu! - her memory jumps back to a rainy afternoon in the school library. 

"My name is Rei. I'm fifteen and I am in class 2B with you." After a little hesitation, she adds, "... I have hay fever."

"...Wow," Muu says after a moment of silence with an undefined expression. "That was terrible!"

Muu is right again, of course. She is much better at these things herself, she uses her words masterfully, knows each of them, the gift or poison they contain and knows how to use them to fire or heal. Maybe that's one thing Rei can learn from her.

“Does she speak Japanese well?” Rei's father asks, and Rei rolls her eyes. Only briefly.

"She's definitely native. And she's not a welfare case either. Muu is - " 

rich, she swallows. She doesn't really want to reveal that. Rei knows exactly why. Because it makes her feel good to know that her mother is on her side and she doesn't know if it would stay that way if she told her parents what Muu is really like. 

“She doesn't even know how I dress outside of school,” she says instead, picking up on her mother's argument, which she seems visibly pleased about. 

Then she fixes her eyes on Rei. “You know what that means?”

It feels strange to go back to being uncomfortable. As if the past minutes of Rei's laughter and stories had filled her with years of bliss, so that the queasy feeling creeping back into her stomach feels like an ancient garment that she has long outgrown. 

Rei's mother smiles. “We'll make sure you prove them wrong when you meet up with the girls, dear.”

Chapter Text

Rei already sees them as the train pulls into the station and she stands at the door, staring out of the window. They are not hard to spot - a group of high school girls who stand out for being particularly pretty. They also stick out as a splash of color in a crowd of Tokyoites dressed in black, gray and brown, all staring down at their phones or straight ahead, along with a handful of lost tourists.

A cold wind greets them as the doors hiss open and Rei steps across the gap between the train and the platform. It feels symbolic, she thinks. As if she is stepping onto a threshold or jumping over an abyss. She leaves behind something that is either a moving metal box or solid ground and ventures into a territory that she is vaguely familiar with, but that now feels like a war zone.

And it's not the time to take cover. So she lifts up her chin. Rei's eyes scan the platform, which is now rapidly emptying. Above her, a female announcer is chattering from the loudspeakers about the next connections. Otherwise it is fairly quiet, so that the heels of her boots reverberate slightly on the stone floor.

Rei quickly finds them again, already facing her, but not taking a step. Firing line. But Rei bravely puts one foot in front of the other.

They look a bit strange, Rei can't help but think. Their group seems so unified at school that even an outside observer knows they must have known each other for a long time. There are so many subliminal mannerisms that they have adopted from each other that you can't even tell who first started a specific gesture. They also react somehow predictably in the group dynamic, at least as far as Rei has observed so far.

However, this is the first time that Rei has seen Muu and her friends without their school uniforms. So the unified character is very much lost.

It is also somewhat noticeable at school, as they all adjust their appearance a little. Rei doesn't think it's primarily out of a desire to stand out from the others, on the contrary, they seem to give each other styling and make-up tips. It's much more a sign of what their earrings, mascara or Yui's hoodie over her uniform are doing: Look at what we dare to do. See how no one is stopping us.

But now that Rei is seeing the group in private for the first time, it is noticeable that they are actually all quite different.

Rei is probably least surprised by Ai, whose outfit doesn't deviate much from her school uniform and confirms her expectations that she always looks very neat even in her free time. She wears the same short winter coat in beige, this time only tied over a blue pleated skirt and fluffy-looking leg warmers. Most striking is her pale pink scarf, which she has somehow tied into a large bow. She's also wearing small heels that make her as tall as Yui.

Yui isn't much of a surprise either, as she's wearing another hoodie with a gray hood peeking out from under the hem of her jacket. Instead of knee-high socks, however, she wears leggings and simple sneakers under her skirt.

Sayu's style, though, is unexpectedly beautiful  and Rei realizes a little ashamedly that she didn't really think she had any fashion sense. She wears exactly the kind of outfit Rei has admired from girls on the street from time to time. A long skirt, discreetly decorated with lace and a long woolen cardigan over it. She is the only one to have changed her hairstyle. The long bob Rei got to know her with has now grown out so that her black hair falls smoothly over her shoulders. She has pinned half of it up into a small bun.

The whole thing has an effortless coolness about it that reminds Rei of female artists and dreamy love interests in dramas. The whole getup, the almost messy hairstyle and the light skirt that floats around her boots with every movement, expresses a side of her that has a softness to it. It's either a good deception or something Rei hasn't gotten to know yet.

Sayu makes up for it, though, and gives her something familiar as well, as she also sips from a coffee cup that perfectly complements her outfit, like the burlap bag dangling around her shoulder, and wears in her free time the usual annoyed look she gives Rei all the time in school.

Rei pushes her shoulders back while her hand fumbles to slip into the second glove as the doors of the train close and it races along the station.

Muu gives the command to go towards her. And it is she who surprises Rei the most with her outfit.

Over an almost simple-looking light gray shirt, she wears one of those pants that Rei has often seen in summer. Fluttering, wide fabric and a waistband held together with a bow, tight around the waist. They were quite popular on the streets a few months ago, but Rei has yet to see their winter sibling, a slightly duller mint green and thicker but still strikingly draping fabric.

Muu doesn't bother to fasten her cream-colored coat, and the fluffy pair of earmuffs seems to be more for fashion than warmth. She has also tied her hair up in a ponytail. Rei has never seen her like this before.

Even in gym class, Muu always ties it low. Sometimes, when Rei was bored waiting to be chosen for a team or collecting the mats after PE, her thoughts had wandered in this strange direction and she had come to the conclusion that Muu probably didn't look good in a high ponytail because of all the layers in her hair.

Well, Rei was obviously wrong.

It looks great on Muu and maybe she even knows it. A smile blossoms on her face as she walks off to close the distance between them and the others naturally follow her. The braid flutters in the wind as her steps become faster and more prancing. Rei realizes too late what is happening, as the image stirs something deep inside her. Winter sun illuminates the station and Muu suddenly spreads her arms as if she wanted to spread her wings and fly away with quick, short steps. But of course that doesn't happen. Even if the image of Muu taking off, leaving the station and her entourage and Rei very small as she approaches the white sky might have surprised Rei less than what actually happens.

“Look at you, you have it in you to be late after all,” Muu scolds, still smiling with feigned annoyance, and hugs her warmly.

“Oh and what a cute outfit you're wearing, Rei-chan!” greets Ai and Yui whistles teasingly.

Muu nods either appreciatively or graciously. Rei suppresses the impulse to fiddle with the hem of the dress to fix it, as she has been doing constantly throughout the journey there. She is no doubt a little rusty. She usually wears her school uniform and rarely does anything on the weekends. It's been a while since she's seriously dressed up for an occasion, but that doesn't mean she likes to appear that way.

Right, someone confident straightens her shoulders, lifts her chin, smiles and says thank you.

Rei starts to just do that, but Sayu barely interrupts her having started her first sentence,

“Can we finally go?” She twists her eyebrows and waves the apparently already empty coffee cup demonstratively. “I'm cold.”

“Oh, but of course, we have a lot to do!” Ai announces in a half-sing-song and claps her hands. Fingerless pink gloves, matching the scarf, muffle the sound and she immediately takes the lead along the platform towards the exit.

“What Sayu is actually trying to say,” Muu says lightly as Rei turns to leave to follow Ai, hooking up with her as a matter of course. "Is that this isn't her time of day. Isn't that right, Sayu-chan?"

Rei glances at Sayu. Her expression has only darkened as she rushes past them, skirt billowing. She tumbles the coffee cup and sips it, searching for the last drops.

Yui giggles and catches up to her, quickly reaching out and swiping the empty cup from Sayu before tossing it a considerable distance into the nearest trash can.

So Rei and Muu suddenly end up at the end of the group.

Rei had only been to this area in central Tokyo once, when Inori and she decided during their very first summer break together that they should venture out of the provincial suburbs and experience the big city to the full. And of course they were drawn to Shibuya, which was loud and crowded and colorful, in addition to the other major tourist spots.

Here, although very close, she likes it more. Cat Street offers a good mix of smaller boutiques, cafés and vintage stores, each of which Sayu rates as she walks past. “Too unsorted,” “Too pretentious,” “Too much fast fashion,” “This one used to have some good offers, but now it's too overhyped,” and of course “Way too expensive!”.

No one in the group is paying much attention to her, Rei thinks, until she looks at Muu, who is still kind of hanging on her arm and staring at Sayu with her mouth slightly open.

Ai has kind of clawed at Yui since they left the station, so Sayu occasionally walks beside them or falls back to Rei and Muu. Rei thinks she seems like a button that keeps popping open and trying to fit back in with the rest of the hem. And inside, she would love to swap places with Sayu. Muu next to her is a grounding weight. She doesn't clutch, her touch is too light right now, but Rei knows better than to interpret it as weakness and break away. Muu doesn't need physical claws to chain her to herself. She attached the chain long ago, and although it's invisible, it weighs more than iron and steel.

“That looks cute!” Ai suddenly says, stopping and the rest of the group follows suit. A pity, really. If it were Muu walking in front of her, Rei would have taken the chance to run into her heels without remorse.

Ai points to a shop window. Yui follows with a neutral look and Rei also takes a look at the mannequin. It is wearing a green dress with delicate straps. The back is tied and the skirt is loose.

“Oh,” Sayu begins, almost disgusted. “I know this store, it's not exactly -”

“But how do you recognize a good second-hand store?” Muu interrupts her.

Rei looks over at her and finds only genuine curiosity and confusion. She suppresses the feeling of positive surprise that arises in her that Muu doesn't condemn buying second-hand clothes.

Then her gaze crosses Sayu's over Muu's head and for a moment Rei is sure that they are thinking exactly the same thing: that Kusunoki Muu has never entered a second-hand store.

They spend a little time strolling down the street, blocking out Sayu's reviews of vintage stores as they talk about the drive here. Ai has been dropped off by her mom who has to run errands by car, Sayu has taken the bus for a few stops and Yui tells a story about almost running over a grandma who then waved her cane at her until she disappeared behind the next block.

“You really bike everywhere,” says Ai, shaking her head. “Don't you live relatively far away from here?”

Yui just shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly and snaps her fingers once. "If I'm riding, it's a breeze! That old hag better consider herself lucky that I don't own a motorcycle yet!"

“If they even gave you a license for one,” Sayu rebukes with a snide undertone. “You don't even wear a helmet when you ride a bike, and something tells me your motorcycle skills aren't exactly reckless either.”

Even as she speaks, Yui raises her index finger in a lecturing gesture and moves her lips to Sayu's words.

“Yui!” Ai immediately scolds on Sayu's behalf, but Yui only winks.

“Well, chance gone, Sayu-chan. No ride from me in the near future,” Yui flutters, artificially stretching the chan, then winks in Rei's direction. "What about you, Rei? Do you want a ride with me? Then you don't have to take any more packed trains!"

Before Rei can say anything back, Muu grips her upper arm tighter.

“You can't even wear a helmet, Yui,” she says quickly, but a little too firmly to make it sound entirely like a joke. “No way you'd remember to bring a second one for... guests!”

Yui's hand jumps to her chest, playfully stricken, as she complains about the lack of confidence in the group, but Rei's mind is still on her offer from a moment ago.

There are quite a few moped riders in Tokyo and she's often seen two people riding them, but the thought of clinging so tightly to a girl as a passenger brings... strange thoughts.

So to distract herself, she spontaneously turns to the girl who is currently... clinging to her.

“And how was your trip here, Muu?”

“Oh, don't even bother asking,” Sayu mutters, but even the obvious disapproval in her voice doesn't stop it: Muu is beaming even before Rei realizes her mistake, apparently completely and utterly happy that Rei has struck up a conversation on her part. How great.

She lets out an artificial giggle and gives Rei a look that's a mixture of indulgent and conspiratorial.

“Sayu obviously feels a little disappointed about our little transportation problem,” she murmurs to Rei, quietly enough for only her to hear, before saying louder, “Which I'm sure won't last.” She winks meaningfully at Rei. Rei searches for an answer in the other girls' faces, but apart from Sayu, who is still rolling her eyes, the others seem to be just as stumped. Muu sighs theatrically and explains: "The question of our vehicle, of course! We no longer fit in the five-seater. But don't worry, the problem should no longer exist at our future meetings, girls."

The reactions are prompt and positive. Ai, at least, beams with delight and Muu smiles so genuinely happy, as if she has just done mankind a great service. Yui grins as Ai whispers something to her that Rei doesn't quite catch, though she's pretty sure she picks up the word limousine. She turns to Sayu with a pitiful residual hope.

What the hope is about, Rei doesn't quite know. Perhaps a hint that Rei has misunderstood something and Muu hasn't exactly implied that her driver will soon show up with an even bigger and more impressive car. She doesn't find it, Sayu tends to turn away from the group, apparently distracted by the next large shop window.

Rei cautiously glances at her phone and realizes that only thirty minutes have passed.

Rei spends the next half hour chasing after Ai, who has taken the wheel. It still surprises Rei a little, but after the last exchange, it makes a certain amount of sense. Cat Street offers a wide mix of stores, some of them quite expensive boutiques, but all in all it doesn't seem to be an area Muu is particularly familiar with.

As Sayu tells her thrift store stories, Muu laughs along, but Rei catches an almost shocked look on her face for a good deal her friend struck on a second-hand designer product and is bragging about it. As they walk past Uniqlo and Ai raves about the new winter collection, even Rei can join in the conversation, but Muu remains silent, even though she doesn't seem distracted - quite the opposite. She seems to soak up all the talk about cheap boots, pants and sweaters for everyday wear outside school as if she were learning another language.

This is not her world and everyone seems to be aware of it.

Just as Rei is thinking about how she can perhaps subtly smack Muu for this without overstepping her boundaries or even incurring the wrath of the others, Ai suddenly expresses enthusiasm about an outfit displayed in a shop window and pulls the group into the store belonging to it.

They are immediately greeted by the sales clerk and trendy pop music. A song that Rei has heard a few times echoes through the aisles.

“Oh, I looove this song,” Ai says immediately, while Sayu simultaneously makes stilted gagging noises and mumbles the band's name more like a curse. Yui gives her an approving nod, and Rei thinks this is the first time she's witnessed Yui agreeing with Sayu on anything.

“Ah, there it is!” says Ai cheerfully, because either she didn't hear them or - already used to these things - deliberately overheard them, and runs to a clothes rail where a number of long-sleeved yet frilly tops in different colors are hanging, which Rei recognizes as one of the pieces on display in the shop window. “Isn't it cute!” says Ai, reaching for one in the color of apricots.

“Hmmm,” says Muu and reaches for a turquoise version. Rei is standing so close to her that she can read the price tag with her. She is pretty sure that they are both shocked for opposite reasons.

This time it's Muu who notices her reaction before Rei can hide it. Something slides across her fine features, and though Rei is already scrambling for words to invalidate or at least deflect the cynical jest that was about to follow, a small unhelpful voice in the back of Rei's head suddenly mutters that this top would absolutely match Muu's eyes.

“Ewww, that doesn't look good on you at all,” Sayu says cuttingly, and Rei and Muu snap their mouths shut at the same time and look to the others.

Yui yawns and looks in another direction with a slightly puzzled expression, where a graphic t-shirt with an English slogan is hanging on a fashion mannequin and Ai looks at Sayu slightly sourly.

“It just is,” Sayu immediately mutters, and it sounds just a little defensive. Then she puts on a creepily friendly smile and points to a row of racks behind her. “I think one of those dresses would suit you much better, Muu.”

Ai looks like she's about to reprimand Sayu for the previous words, but then another thought seems to occur to her and she claps her hands in the girliest way Rei has ever seen. "That's a nice idea! We can find each other cute clothes! Don't worry, Muu-chan, you're in the best hands with me, I have excellent taste in fashion!"

“If you want to look like every girl next door, then sure you are,” Sayu mumbles with her arms crossed. “...or just watch every it's-so-clinche-please-kill-me drama on TV for inspiration.”

Rei lets out a sound that she barely manages to cover up as a cough and sees Sayu's lips twitch briefly as she registers it.

Ai forces a stiff, polite smile and bats her eyelashes once: “I think you two will find something cute, too.”

“So Muu is our model, then?” asks Yui suddenly, who seems to have awoken from some kind of daydream.

“Of course,” Ai says hastily. “Only if you want to.”

All heads move over to Muu, but Rei has already had her in her sight during the conversation. She's seen Muu listening intently to the proposal and waiting for everyone's reactions. Now that all eyes are on her, there's a subtle shift in her demeanor. She takes a tiny pause, for the sake of tension, then clasps her hands behind her back and balances a tiny, light step, like a dancer.

“Of course,” she says with a smile. "I'll be your model. That's a really fun idea." She comes to a halt and her gaze, which has briefly scrutinized each one in turn, stops on Rei. “And I'm looking forward to your suggestions!”

“How about this?” asks Rei ten minutes later, when they have gathered again in a circle near the changing rooms. She holds up the item. It's a leftover piece from the summer collection, reduced to over half its original price. Smooth, cool fabric shines matt in the store light, the flowing top has wide sleeves but a few ruffles in the chest area and at the hem, giving the blouse a playful character. But it was the color that attracted Rei. It is bright yellow, like a ripe yuzu.

Rei actually only went to the reduced corner because she assumes that disqualifies her from the outset, because although the current price is still quite high at 70 percent off, Rei firmly believes that this store is a little below Muu's usual level.

Ai smiles wryly and shakes her head. “Very pretty, but - uh... That's a bit...” she begins in a tactfully considered tone, pausing briefly and searching for the right words. "Too thin. Summer's long gone, it's far too cold outside to wear this now, Rei."

“It looks like a nightgown,” Sayu says much less politely.

Rei has to force herself not to grin when her plan works out so flawlessly, but when she looks to Muu, whose reaction she's been saving as the crowning touch, it's... surprising. She doesn't say a word, but scrutinizes the garment intently.

The light fabric suddenly weighs several kilos in Rei's hand. As if in slow motion, she watches Muu's hand twitch as if to stretch it out. Rei imagines the long sleeves taking on a life of their own, growing longer and wider, wrapping up her arm and all around her body, then pulling her down through the store floor into the depths, like some kind of deep-sea monster from an ancient legend, as Muu looks almost satisfied.

“I found the perfect one, Muu!” suddenly shouts Yui.

All heads fly in her direction as the girl comes running, holding a large pink collection of fabric in her hand. A hoodie, similar to what Yui likes to wear.

It's not Muu's style at all, Rei thinks, but everyone immediately welcomes it enthusiastically and Muu stretches out her arms and takes the sweater and hanger from Yui. Rei's remnants of the summer collection are forgotten.

“I saw that too,” says Yui hastily. "That tiny cat patch is so cute! I'm sure it suits you, Muu."

Rei observes the scene skeptically. Muu doesn't like cats. She likes birds. And fish.

Muu looks at the hoode for a second like she has the exact same thought, but then she looks up, she Ai and Yui smiling (of course Sayu isn't smiling) and then she smiles too.

"Really? Thanks, Yui-chan seems to know me well!"

"It could go well with one of those skirts fun

“It might work well with one of those skirts you wear sometimes!” says Yui, and Rei tries to find a hint that she's saying it in a form of defensiveness, but there's nothing to indicate that.

“It couldn't get any worse than Rei's suggestion anyway,” Sayu chimes in now, of course.

Muu smiles indulgently in her direction, but her gaze shifts briefly to Rei and then takes on a quick look.

“Oh, Rei-chan has taste too, look at the outfit she's wearing today.” Ai laughs at this, very briefly and giggly, but it still kind of stings, Rei realizes, while at the same time making the discovery that the fabric of the yellow blouse doesn't leave any visible wrinkles if you accidentally crumple it while clenching your fists.

“I'm serious,” Muu says, and Rei looks up again. Something in her tone has changed and her smile fades for a second as she stares at Ai, who's suddenly all interested in a rack of clothes being currently arranged by a worker. Then Muu smiles again as if nothing has happened and says with abandon, "Rei's just mourning the summer. That's the only problem."

“Who doesn't,” groans Yui. “I think I'm about to catch a cold because of the weather!”

“More like because you're not wearing a scarf,” Sayu mutters under her breath.

“That's true,” Muu says in agreement. “You should really watch out, Yui-chan, not that you-”

“Excuse me,” the worker from the side suddenly says. She looks directly at Muu and continues speaking, just as she started. In English. “Do you need any help, miss?”

Rei stares at the adult in confusion, making sure she is really an employee and not just a tourist who may only speak English. Muu is similarly frozen and looks at the worker. Rei is completely confused. Barely a step away from the stranger, they had just had a perfect conversation in Japanese. She was the one who interrupted Muu. Why was she speaking English to her?

The others, however, are much more eager for action than Muu and Rei.

“I do,” says Yui in Japanese, briskly taking the hoodie she got Muu. "You call that oversized? Maybe for a doll! I need a size bigger for my friend here, miss."

With that, she pushes the hoodie into the employee's arms, but before the woman can answer, Sayu pushes past Yui and throws the dress onto the sweater. "I really need a different color! This is the ugliest thing I've ever seen, what occasion would you want to wear snot green for? And hurry, before everything that's halfway wearable is sold out!"

“And I!” says Ai with her polite smile that Rei has seen on her own mother before - what an eerie comparison - "Need a size smaller! My diet finally seems to be working!"

She stretches out her hand with the hanger, but doesn't come any closer, so the worker has to go towards her to take the garment from her. The woman looks shocked for a moment as she processes what has just happened, then somehow professionalism seems to have taken over. "Of course. Right away," she says belatedly and in Japanese, then steps towards Ai.

As she does so, Rei realizes that all eyes, except Muu's, are suddenly on her, and she's overcome with the uncomfortable feeling of realizing too late that she's been put on the spot in class. It's up to her to say something, and it had better be the right thing.

“I...” she begins, then waves her blouse around. “I've changed my mind... It's too cold for summer clothes, could you maybe bring this back for me?”

"Why do you still stock clothes like this? They've been out since at least last year," Sayu grumbles, almost drowning out the worker, who verbally confirms to Rei that she will do just that and takes the garment from her as well. By now she is wearing a whole pile of clothes. Then she makes a hasty exit. Her heels clack along the linoleum-covered corridor.

“What a bitch,” Yui says as soon as she's out of earshot.

“Maybe she didn't mean...,” Ai begins, but Sayu shoots her a new variation of her many cutting looks.

“She did mean,” she says definitively.

“Muu,” Rei says tightly, and Muu turns her head towards her. And suddenly Rei doesn't care about anything that's happened. “Are you okay?”

She doesn't care that she calls Muu by her first name or that she should be feeling something like malicious joy right now. She doesn't. Not at all. Instead, the old familiar feeling bubbles up in Rei's chest, like when she witnessed the injustices that happened to Inori. Like weeks ago, in the school toilet, when she thought Chiyo had said something terrible to Muu. Maybe it was a lie then, all made up, and although this question makes Rei feel desperate and angry, now she can't help but feel angry too. Because that was something real.

“I...”, Muu says a tad too quietly and then smiles bravely and faintly at the edges. "Don't worry, guys. I just feel a little bad for this lady."

“Don't,” Yui says, still looking half like she'd like to punch something.

Everyone is silent for an awkward five seconds, probably mentally contemplating what to do next.

Then Sayu wrinkles her nose and says, "This place sucks anyway. Let's get out of here."

“Uh, let's find something to drink!”, Ai immediately says optimistically again before a thought momentarily darkens her mind. “But no more caffeine for Sayu, please!”

“We could try that boba place we passed,” Muu says softly. “So, only if you guys want to?”

“You know I live for that stuff,” Yui says.

Muu gives Rei a look. “I love it,” she says, and she actually wants to sound resigned, since Muu should realize that she has no decision-making power here and is here against her will anyway, but... it comes out more honest. Friendlier. And when Muu's smile in response is more honest this time, Rei forgets to be annoyed for a moment or two.