Archive of Our Own ^beta

There are a lot of abnormalities and paradoxes in nature: Vidyadhara are unable to reproduce like mammals and other species, but still have secondary genders. Intelligentsia Guild promised a generous reward for the explanation of this paradox, but anybody is yet to understand Long’s design. After all, Aeons and their minds function on the different plane of existence. 

It seems that Long observed only exterior features of the cycles, and Vidyadhara alpha, beta, and omega have scents, glands, heats, and ruts, but they are not controlled by the instincts and have no need to mate. The heretics among Vidyadhara believed that they still had on opportunity to reproduce sexually like other species, and they participated in the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae in hopes that he would fulfill their dream. The Sedition was suppressed. Imbibitor Lunae was imprisoned.

The Preceptors, Jing Yuan and the surviving written sources are silent about Imbibitor Lunae’s true agenda. Dan Heng doesn’t remember anything, and the Dan Feng of his dreams and hallucinations throws only accusations at him. 

Dan Heng doesn’t know Dan Feng’s secondary gender and whether he had any mates. Although he cut any ties with his homeland, the floor in the archives reminds him of the waters of Scalegorge Waterscape, so it’s not surprising that when his heat came, Dan Heng nested beside the Data Bank.

Some Vidyadhara believe that the cycle of heats and ruts is connected to the movement of the moons. The High Elder of The Xianzhou Luofu usually drunk the moon, but during heats luna hunc imbibit.

Dan Heng laments that the achieves have no windows unlike March’s room, but he doesn’t want to relocate to the room Pom-Pom suggested him long time ago. He wants to see the stars, but the familiar surroundings of the archives are more comforting.

Dan Heng slowly opens the door and steps into the dim corridor. It’s the second day of his heat, and he already feels exhausted. He built the nest with blankets and pillows and borrowed the things from other members of the Astral Express’ crew: alpha Himeko’s coat, beta Welt’s shirt, and omega March’s blouse. Stelle doesn’t have any secondary gender and any understanding of heats or ruts, so she offered Dan Heng the best of her treasured trash. He had to politely decline.

The stars shine brightly, and Dan Heng remembers Asta’s lecture: we see the light of the stars that may have died centuries ago. Long is dead. Dan Feng is dead. Blade is dead. Blade is alive. Blade is  a star which is already dead, but his light still reaches Dan Heng.

“Are you alright?” somebody asks beside him, but Dan Heng doesn’t flinch. He is accustomed to March and Stelle’s sudden appearances. 

March scratches her nose. It’s not her habit, but Stelle’s.

“I’m alright, just exhausted,” Dan Heng’s face is as reserved as in any other situation. “What’s Stelle up to?”

March smiles but her eyes shows her uneasiness. When Dan Heng and March traveled without Stelle, the people they talked to had a hard time to decipher their moods and intentions: Dan Heng was cold and reserved, and March was “cold” and expressive. The addition of Stelle didn’t help the situation because she could switch from silent mode to talkative one.

“So… Stelle may be talking with Kafka right now…” March’s eyes darts from Dan Heng to the stars. “Himeko, Mister Yang, and Pom-Pom are also there. As well as Silver Wolf and Blade.”

It’s strange that Himeko let the Stellaron Hunters on the board with such delegation. Especially during Dan Heng’s heat. Usually during his and March’s heats Himeko becomes protective and jokingly threatens them with her coffee so they won’t leave their rooms and won’t find troubles and adventures.

Dan Heng survived the Shackling Prison, numerous Nameless missions, and Blade’s sword. Himeko’s coffee is a terrifying weapon, but he is not afraid of it.

“So where are Silver Wolf’s screams?” wonders Dan Heng and resists an urge to scratch his nose. Their little habits are too contagious.

March looks at the door to the Parlor – nobody’s here, they’re alone and able to gossip – and whispers, “Blade babysits her. But do not call her “baby.” She’ll snap.”

“The Data Bank is too important to be wiped out, and I have no desire to taunt Silver Wolf… or Blade. Why are they here?”

March scratches her head.

“Something, something, Stellaron, our next destinations, bla-bla-bla,” Dan Heng is not impressed, so March continues. “Ask Himeko. They have been here for twenty? Thirty minutes?.. No, don’t ask Himeko, she’ll make you drink her coffee.”

Because March was trapped in ice and didn’t receive a proper socialization, sometimes she doesn’t get the clues right: once during her heat (which, like Dan Heng’s, are tame) she volunteered to go to  the mission with Welt and Dan Heng, and Himeko made her taste different coffee brews.

“Maybe I’ll ask Blade to stab me again.”

“Ew, don’t joke like that. When Stelle does that, I get anxious.”

“Don’t worry, your turn of being stabbed will also come.”

March huffs. “And you will see me in my full glory! I do hope that I’ll receive a cool outfit or a weapon. I don’t want to be stabbed for nothing.”

The door to the Parlor opens, and March and Dan Heng turn to see the intruder. Blade stares at them blankly.

“Pom-Pom will kill us if we make a space Western here,” loudly whispers March. 

Dan Heng and March exchange glances. Three cowboys (“I’m a cowgirl!” “Alright.”) with cool hats meet outside of the tavern and are hesitant to draw their pistols out. One wrong move – and BANG! BANG!

Every time Dan Heng meets Blade, one of them gets stabbed. Every time Dan Heng – in the company of other Nameless – meets Blade, something stupid happens.

March looks like she wants to walk away like a crab, snapping her claws threateningly. Even though the Astral Express and the Stellaron Hunters went on several missions together, she and Stelle only accepted Silver Wolf as their buddy in games. Kafka is Kafka, and Blade is a threat.

Dan Heng decides to save Blade from the attack of March the Crab. “The bathroom is down the corridor, it has a special pictogram, you won’t miss it.”

“I can show you,” exclaims March, motioning Dan Heng to return to the Data Bank.

Dan Heng slowly returns to the achieves (March in his place would have darted), the door softly clicks. Blade doesn’t say anything, but follows March.

The nest is still warm, and Dan Heng lays down and burrows into the blankets. Long is dead. Dan Feng is dead. Blade is dead. Blade is alive. The sins are Dan Heng’s to bear.

“Why am I thinking about this during my heat?” wonders Dan Heng, while blindly searching for Himeko’s coat. He grabs an empty bottle and sighs. Stelle managed to contribute to his nest.

When Stelle and March learned the truth about Dan Heng’s nature and stories about Vidyadhara cycle of reincarnation, they were scared that during his heat Dan Heng would turn into an egg, forget everything and leave them. (“I already had several heats and didn’t turn into an egg,” he tried to reason them. “But what if,” wailed March, while Stelle solemnly wiped her tears. “To reincarnate, we return to the waters. There is no waters on the Express.”)

Dan Heng uses Himeko’s coat like a blanket and closes his eyes. He is surrounded by the things of his new family, the people he loves and cherishes. He feels safe in his nest, even with the Stellaron Hunters nearby.

Dan Heng sleeps and sees no dreams.

However, after a while he smells a weird scent of metal and sweet petals. It’s like an echo from the previous life, something familiar, bur twisted beyond recognition. 

Dan Heng opens his eyes and sees Blade. Huh.

“Can you have your retribution later?” groggily asks Dan Heng. “I’m busy.”

“Imbibitor Lunae…”

“… When will our retribution come, yes, I know. Not now. I’m busy. Go away.”

Dan Heng does what March would do if she were in this situation: he burrows further into the blankets – if nobody sees me, I don’t exist.

“Imbibitor Lunae.”

“Go away.”

“I can give you my coat.”

Dan Heng emerges from the depths of his nest. Blade stares at him with his piercing red eyes. His scent is metallic like blood and sweet like rotting. Dan Heng doesn’t figure out his secondary gender.

“I have enough coats, thank you.”

“You need my coat.”

Blade looks determined enough to throw his coat and stay here till Dan Heng accepts it. He doesn’t want to fight (Pom-Pom stays vigilant, and Himeko will be upset), but Blade is not part of his family. Blade is a nobody to him – an echo from the past.

“It’s not polite to coerce an omega into doing something against their will.”

Blade looks at Himeko’s coat like it poisoned his family and his cute little rabbits (does Blade have any pets?.. or a family?) The Astral Express needs to report to the IPC: Blade’s gravest enemy (after Imbibitor Lunae) is a coat.

Blade sits on the floor like he decided to camp in the achieves. Dan Heng considers pretending to be  dead. Because of Long his only opportunity to do it convincingly is to turn into an egg.

“Your nest doesn’t look complete.”

“And you know this because?..”

Blade keeps silence, staring so intensively that Dan Heng doubts that he is even blinking.

In Dan Heng’s opinion, his nest is perfect. Other crew members of the Astral Express gave him extra blankets and pillows so he is surrounded by their calming scents. March’s blouse and Welt’s shirt are buried somewhere here like vegetables in the soup. Himeko’s coat is covering him like a shield, protecting him from the outside threats.

Is Blade a threat? Will his coat destroy Dan Heng’s inner peace and tranquility?

Blade’s coat is shredded as though its owner doesn’t care about patching it up. Blade is dead, Blade is alive, but his coat doesn’t possess a similar ability to regenerate. Its embroidery looks like an imitation of the ancient Luofu craft. Stelle would have loved to have this artifact in her trash collection.

Blade’s gaze is intense, but Dan Heng doesn’t flinch. Conversations with Blade feel like a taming of the wild animal with a nuance that the animal wants to be tamed, but Dan Heng is too confused to provide him with the thing he requires.

“Do you perhaps hope that your scent will trigger my buried memories?” asks Dan Heng, tugging at Himeko’s coat. “What even are you? Alpha? Beta? Omega? Or did you get rid of your secondary gender?”

“I am a weapon.”

“… What else did I expect?”

Blade takes off his coat, and Dan Heng stares at his chest – at his chest, wrapped in bandages. 

“Uh.”

There is an old mating bite on Blade’s neck, too faded but still present. Perhaps, Blade is like… that, because his mate is dead. Or Imbibitor Lunae killed him. Or Imbibitor Lunae killed Blade and his mate, but Blade survived and now wants to avenge. As they say, “it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.”

Dan Heng wants to shove out Blade into the open space. He is in heat (thanks Long!), he is exhausted, he wants to curl up in his perfect nest and sleep for a few hours. Vengeance, dead mates, and past sins do not concern him right now. Even if any Lord Ravager of the Antimatter Legion decides to show up, even Pom-Pom can shot it with a ballista without bothering Dan Heng. 

Dan Heng burrows into the blankets, but then peeks out. Blade is still half-naked and offering his coat. He is weird, but usually he is ferally weird in the I-will-kill-you manner. Dan Heng is used to dealing with problems alone, but now he wants Stelle and March to be by his side as an emotional support.

“Will you leave me if I take you coat?”

Blade is silent.

“Alright, I don’t care, stay here, but don’t kill me in my sleep.”

Dan Heng takes the coat. Up close he can smell more nuanced scent: it’s still sweet like rotting, but it’s not flesh, but like cemetery or funeral flowers. It’s not relaxing. Dan Heng looks up.

Blade sits like a statue and doesn’t show any signs of aggression. His mara is dormant, even though he spent so much time in the presence of Imbibitor Lunae. Dan Heng doesn’t want Kafka within the   confines of the achieves, but he also doesn’t desire to fight mara-struck Blade during his heat.

Dan Heng is not a fatalist, but he is too exhausted to care. He plops down on his nest, pushes Himeko’s coat behind his back and covers himself with Blade’s coat. The sweet metallic scent doesn’t feel foreign and doesn’t bother him, but his dreams are full of vague images.

Dan Feng’s nest is as simple as Dan Heng’s. He has no attachment to the expensive fabrics. Imbibitor Lunae caresses the blanket and something black which he uses like a pillow. Somebody is stroking his hair, lightly touching his horns.

Dan Heng wakes up. Blade is curled at his feet, guarding him like a hound. His black hair looks matted, and Dan Heng takes a brush without thinking. Blade’s sleep is deep, and he doesn’t wake up under Dan Heng’s touches. Or he is awake, but he trusts him enough to brush his hair.

Dan Heng slowly blinks, yawning. The brush moves steadily, and the black hair becomes less tangled. It would be good to wash it, but they are not yet so close for such intimate acts. Dan Heng doesn’t touch Blade’s mating bite, but he sees a trace of fangs. Blade and his mate must have been good for each other: Blade’s fangs seem to be sharp and would leave a familiar trace.

Dan Heng doesn’t want to mate anyone. He is content with voyaging with the Astral Express without any romantic attachments. But when he thinks about it, he hears distant Aha’s laughs: the mighty Imbibitor Lunae knows nothing! But I, Aha, know everything and laugh at you!

If Blade laid on him, he would cover him whole. Blade’s frame is solid, and his shoulders are broad,  Dan Heng notices absentminded, still brushing the black hair. Blade is Dan Heng’s closest and deadliest enemy, but they are bound by fate, as though they are connected by the red thread. Previously they strangled each other with it, but now they don’t know what to do with it.

Dan Heng doesn’t remember his past with Blade but he is willing to take the end of the red thread and see where it leads. Dan Feng is dead, but Dan Heng won’t run from their accountability anymore.

Blade snores like an old man and is woken by the abrupt sound. Dan Heng wants to laugh, but he trained himself to keep a straight face.

“Is my nest complete now?”

Blade doesn’t shy away from Dan Heng’s hands, content to lie at his feet. The rotten funeral flowers bloom.

“Yes, with me by your side.”