Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They lay on the bed, heads resting against each other, looking up through the skylight. Stars glitter above, endlessly stretching through that expanse. It felt to Kaidan as though he had explored so much of it by Shepard’s side. Yet looking out at the stars, watching their light ripple through the Normandy’s mass effect fields, Kaidan knows they’ve only seen a glimpse of it.
“What are you thinking about?” Shepard’s voice is a soft whisper. Kaidan squeezes the hand entwined with his own.

“You.” He says in a low rumble, afraid of shattering this moment of peace with his voice. Shepard’s head turns into his arm. He can feel her smile on his bare skin, the gentle kiss she leaves behind as she turns her head up to stare at him. Though Kaidan feels her eyes beckon him, he doesn’t drop his eyes to meet them. The rippling stars above, the deep warmth of Shepard’s bare body against his own that soaked down to his bone. He didn’t want to break the spell that kept everything in the room right where it belonged. Kept Shepard here where she belonged.

“Kaidan.” Her voice was a gentle whisper, as if she knew what he was thinking.
“It’s going to be two years soon.” Kaidan’s jaw clenches.

“Hey.” Shepard’s fingertips brush along his jaw, then slowly turn his face towards hers. He finally lets himself be pulled in by her gaze, he could only resist her for so long. Her gray eyes look up at him, an easygoing smile on her lips. His rough, calloused hands gently cup Shepard’s own, both calloused in the same way, from the same kind of work, and he holds her hand to his cheek. There's infinite gentleness between these hands made for battle. It doesn’t rid Kaidan of the ache, deep, deep in his chest.

Shepard’s smile grows wistful.
“It's going to be okay.” The shake of Kaidan’s head is minute, but his rejection of that idea is not.
“Kaidan, it will be okay. I made sure of that.”

“No. No.” Shepard laughs softly, as if he was pouting over something trivial and not the end of his whole world.

“Weren’t you the one who said it would be what it is?”

“I said we’d face it together.” Kaidan’s voice is gravelly, like his vocal chords were ground up in the same way it feels his whole being was. Shepard embraces Kaidan, pulling him into a hug that always made him feel secure. In his feelings, in the rightness of this thing between them, and just… secure in the normal way. Like maybe they wouldn’t get shot at or blown apart in the next second. Safe in Shepard’s arms. Soft kisses along his eyelids pull a tired sigh from his mouth.

“Can’t we just… stay like this?” Kaidan asks. “Just a while longer?”

A feather light kiss on his lips makes Kaidan open his eyes. Shepard’s eyes are sympathetic and soft. The gray there, usually like the cold steel of a blade, was a melted silver.

“You have a flight to catch, remember?” Shepard gives him that familiar, teasing grin he’s oh so fond of.
“Come on now, you wouldn’t miss my memorial would you?”

Kaidan’s eyes snap open to the sun peeking in through the blinds. Small specks of dust float slowly through those beams. A tell tale sign he wasn’t in space. The next sign was more obvious. The rolling mountains encompass the horizon, a hidden lake peeking out further along the ups and downs of the hilly planes. Alberta, Canada in all of its beauty.

Where Kaidan played as a child, legs carrying him through long grass as his family trails behind. Where Kaidan went after all of the efforts to reestablish peace after the Reapers began to pay off and more people stepped up. Where Kaidan retreated to, tail tucked between his legs like a kicked dog, once someone took some weight off him.

He was on earth alone. For a long moment, Kaidan simply breathes. Then, as he fully regains consciousness, he settles into that heavy, dug in grief. Wrestles with it for a moment so it's not as hot and violent and compulsive as it wants to be, but that dull, numbing ache that sits in his chest. He shrugs it on like an old sweater, familiar and worn to fit.

Some thought he was simply reserved, others thought he was dull or boring. But Kaidan described himself as disciplined. Careful. This usually applied to the aim of his gun, or proficiency in biotics, but he wanted that control here too. Over himself and his emotions. So, like every morning after Shepard died, he took a deep breath in, feeling the touch of her lips, and the pierce of her gray eyes, and that warmth, and he breathed it out. Released the memory of his dream, and his love, and everything else that cut him apart. Kaidan forced himself to plateau into an emotionally stable, if absent, state that wouldn’t fuck up.

He made it two years after Shepard died the first time. He can do it again.

Then he slips out of bed, because he does have a flight to catch, and he wouldn’t miss Shepard’s memorial even if he had to kill a reaper to be there.

He sheds the clothes he was wearing the night before when he passed out. Then, he showers off the scent of whiskey, scrubbing until his skin is pink before stepping out. The beard he let go wild in the two months here is shaved clean, his hair cut quick and neat with years of practice. Once he’s presentable, he leaves the bathroom and shrugs his travel bag onto his shoulder.

He’s striding out the door and towards the skycar when he pauses to take in the scenery one more time. Everything he’ll need is in a bag, his goodbyes to his family and friends said. Yet he can’t help but stare at the gorgeous rise and fall of the earth, and not because of the beauty. The entire time he’s been here its felt like he was forgetting something, that small itch that pokes at you until you remember whatever you forgot. Kaidan has been ignoring it but now he sits in the feeling, letting his mind race to find the answer before he leaves his home behind.

A breeze floats past as seconds tick away. They bring the memory of Normandy’s Command Deck, the sharp lighting and bustle of energy.

“Kaidan.” Shepard says quietly, a conversation just for the two of them, though members of Normandy’s crew drifted by the edge of the proverbial bubble around the two Spectres. She was looking at the galaxy map, a course set for the Cerberus base. They were all in their armor and bracing for a heavy fight. But Shepard had a soft look on her face, as if she were somewhere else entirely. Like she wasn’t boiling over with fury and regret before Traynor found this lead.

Kaidan blinks in surprise before leaning against the same wall as Shepard. Affectionately bumping their shoulders together and staying there. They rarely touched in public, neither a fan of PDA or incessant staring and questions. But this felt right.

He hums in acknowledgement, a question weaved in. Shepard continues to stare at the map but leans into his touch, lowers her voice further. Now they truly were whispering to each other.

“The galaxy is big.”
Kaidan nearly chuckles despite himself. Instead he gives Shepard an amused look and lets her continue. Her next words are a bit more sobering.
“And I’m small. I have so little time.” Shepard turns to Kaidan so they’re eye to eye a breath away.
“Where should I go before I die?”

Kaidan stares at her for a long moment. Everyone was feeling their mortality as they continued to check boxes off for this war. Go to that planet, form this alliance, save these people, kill those. At the end of the long list, there was simply do or die, and it was nearly time to check that box too.

As much as Kaidan wants to reassure and comfort Shepard, he can’t do it with obvious lies and disregard to the very real threat they face. Instead, Kaidan plays along.

“Well.” Kaidan starts, voice deep and low and just for Shepard. A smile pulls onto her lips at the sound.

He describes his home as a child, and as Kaidan remembers the soft conversation, his arm unconsciously raises to snap a picture with his omnitool of the very same landscape he spoke about. Shepard never saw it. He would have to bring it with him.

As Kaidan boards the Alliance ship to the Citadel, he knows that this trip will mark a turning point. He doesn’t know how, but the rope holding him up was fraying and long overdue to snap. The question was, what will be under him when he falls, if anything at all. Kaidan looks out the bay window one last time before the ship makes the FTL jump and he says goodbye to his home for what feels like the last time.

Chapter Text

22:05 CST, 9 Days Until the Memorial

Kaidan feels the music thrum through him, heavy pulses of bass sending waves across the crowd. It’s like the whole club was vibrating. Turians, Volus, and everything in between crashing together in time with the beat. They even look like they’re having fun. It was loud and alive, almost feverishly so.

Tucked in the corner of the bar, away from all of that energy, is Kaidan. He watches on as people dance, even though the crowd is right there, he feels galaxies away. The same music that moves them echoes hollowly through the shell he feels his body has become. The only effect it seems to have on him is aggravating the dull ache of an oncoming migraine.

Another glass down and Kaidan is eyeing the door longingly. The only issue was that leaving wouldn’t provide relief. Where else was he free from the obligation of masking his misery and the torture of silence?

He heaves a heavy sigh, still staring at the doors when they slide open and a group of women saunter in. Some are already dancing to the music or chatting excitedly with each other. But Kaidan only pays attention to one.

She has a blonde buzzcut that strikes a hard contrast with her dark skin. With every flash of the strobe lights her hair changes from pink to blue to green, and every other eye burning neon color. A lithe frame dressed in a tight black dress.

Everything but this woman blurs away, the rush of blood in his ears reaches a deafening roar as every inch and ounce of his being tries to process what he’s seeing.

She looks just like Shepard.

A soaring hope pierces through the grief that chokes Kaidan. Simultaneously, fear strikes him to his core, so deep and true it makes him physically tense. The sudden, uncontrollable onslaught of emotions that rages in him and against him are paralyzing. Possibilities, ones that haunted him since Shepard’s death, run through his mind again, infinitely more vivid and torturous and irresistible. If she came back once, couldn’t she come back again? Was that really so impossible for the woman who saved the galaxy

Kaidan watches her move through the crowd towards the dance floor, unable to do anything but stare.

She shakes her hands at her friends in refusal but they drag her out by the wrists, shaking their own hips and making playful remarks based on her laughter. She seems hesitant, but their eagerness is contagious and she follows them with an exaggerated groan. The blondie with the buzz breaks into an awkward but enthusiastic shuffle, her arms pumping at her sides. It’s awful. Laughably so.

And Kaidan does laugh, though it's closer to a watery heave of his chest, tears springing to his eyes. She’s beautiful. Terrible at dancing and unbelievably beautiful.

Kaidan releases a labored sigh. His mind is screaming caution, warning him against a hope that would devastate him. He can’t survive another loss of Shepard. And, yet.

And, yet.

Kaidan’s world is fundamentally, irreversibly changed by this woman’s presence, whoever she is. The music pulses through him like the pounding of his heart and, finally, he felt alive. Unwittingly and unprompted, she has become the subject of every thought, the reason for every breath, the sun around which Kaidan orbits. It was as certain as it was dangerous.

She turns toward him and his heart leaps in his chest.

Would her eyes be gray too?

This woman who isn’t Shepard, who could be Shepard, walks toward the bar Kaidan is leaning against. Her smile is bright and weightless in the way that Shepard’s was before the Reaper’s attacked earth. In the way Kaidan longed for Shepard to smile again.

Kaidan feels his heart race faster with every bouncy step this familiar stranger took, uncertainty and anxiety growing with it. Something in him knows it doesn’t make sense for this to be his Shepard. His eyes fall, staring into his drink. It feels like Horizon all over again. Anger, frustration, and confusion burn hot under the surface while his heart breaks again. Why here and why now? Why her? Just like on Horizon, he isn’t even sure if this was Shepard. He couldn’t escape this unbearable tug of war. Couldn’t find any peace.

Kaidan takes a slow sip of his drink and looks back up. He blinks in surprise when he finds her eyes on him. Their gaze holds for a moment.

A small smile, one that seems just for him, curves her lips.

Then she looks away. The smile is gone. Kaidan takes a step toward her subconsciously, almost stumbling, moved by his yearning for that smile again, that smile he’s seen so many times before, to hear the voice that would spill from her lips. But she’s turning away with two drinks and walking back to her group.

Every hair on Kaidan’s body is raised. He feels electrified, like he’s channeling dark matter. Kaidan quickly glances at his hands to make sure he isn’t. A loose L2 with too much alien swill in him definitely isn’t what the Citadel wanted when they invited him here. When Kaidan is sure he isn’t about to warp the whole bar he runs a trembling hand through his hair.

He’s stunned, by this woman and by himself. To have such a visceral reaction to what could be a complete stranger, he must be insane. The problem was, he really did feel like he was losing it. Because as likely as it is that this woman isn’t Shepard, he still desperately wants her. Her smile, her body, her affection.

Burning desire mingles with wrenching guilt, inspiring the kind of recklessness that Kaidan tries so hard to lock away.

He throws back the rest of his drink and closes his tab, the entire transaction he’s scanning through the crowd for his stranger. His search is short. The stranger he sought was walking straight towards him. This time it’s him and not the bar that holds her attention.

Though his heart is pounding fast enough to hurt, Kaidan leans back against the bar with a small, inviting smile. She returns it with one of her own, walking to his side and putting an elbow on the bar. Up close, Kaidan can see the absence of the hardened muscles and scars that Shepard had. The first clear difference between them.

“Hey.” Kaidan says in a low voice.

“Hey.” Shepard’s voice responds. Kaidan feels gutted at the sound. She doesn’t carry herself like Shepard and she doesn’t seem to know Kaidan. But she looks and sounds so fucking similar.

“Are you from around here?” Her voice is soft, missing the hardened authority and fiery confidence Shepard projected. But it's warm and Kaidan knows that tone well, it carries the promise of soft touches and intimate whispers.

“I’m not.” Kaidan leans in to say, using the volume of the music to close the distance between them.
“Just here for the memorial.” He says simply. She nods her head.

“Of course, Commander Shepard’s a goddess.” The woman says with more than a little admiration in her voice.
Kaidan takes a sip of his drink to hide his expression. So she wasn’t Shepard. Of course. He’s still confused as hell, but at least he can let go of that hope. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but skepticism has always come easy to Kaidan. He was ready for this.

With that question answered, there’s space for something lighter. It's a strange feeling, hearing someone who looks and sounds exactly like Shepard compliment her. It felt like Shepard was saying that about herself. Kaidan’s amusement must show on his face because the familiar stranger tilts her head with a questioning smile.

“What are you thinking about?” The question pulls Kaidan out of his thoughts.

He hums, considering how much to say.

“Has anyone ever said you look like her? Commander Shepard.” Kaidan asks after a moment. She has to know, she looks exactly like Shepard so there's no way she didn’t know about the resemblance. An amused look matching his own lights up on her face. She laughs lightly before answering.

“Yeah, that's been the opening line of most of my conversations the past couple of years.”

“I should’ve known. I’ll try to be less predictable in the future.” He says, voice deep and playful. His heart soars when her smile brightens.

“I don’t know, I think I like you, as is.” She says with a sly smile that sends Kaidan’s mind to shameful places.
“I’ll forgive you if you promise to be my drinking buddy for the night.”

“Done.” Kaidan nods to the bar.

“Were you in the Alliance?” She asks as she leans across the bar to get a bartender’s attention, the glossy fabric of her dress stretching with her.

“Don’t people usually share their names before swapping war stories?” Kaidan teases lightly, taking the sight of her in.

She turns to give him an apologetic smile.

“Wren.” Now that was a far cry from Shepard’s.

“Kaidan. To answer your question, yes. What makes you ask?” He’s genuinely curious. It's been a bit since he’s worn his Alliance fatigues around the Citadel, nothing about his appearance tonight should give his career away.

“Your build and demeanor mainly. And as popular as she is with everyone, Commander Shepard is doubly so with the Alliance.” Wren chuckles. “Half the people I talk to are Alliance soldiers with the unparalleled role model that is Commander Shepard. I almost feel bad for them. Imagine wanting to be like someone who killed giant man-eating worms every other Tuesday.” Wren shakes her head as she takes two shot glasses from the bartender. She has an incredulous look on her face that says, ‘Can you believe that?’

This line of conversation was increasingly entertaining to Kaidan, not only could he believe it, he was there for most of it. A humored chuckle escapes from his lips and he decides to turn his attention to the glowing neon purple shot he’s handed instead of answering. His gaze narrows in suspicion at the liquid.

The look has Wren laughing once again, something she seemed to do easily and frequently, much to Kaidan’s delight.

“Not a fan of the signature Citadel shots, Kaidan?” She knocks her shot back with a smile, and Kaidan shortly follows suit. It’s an offensive flavor and experience, both sickly sweet and reeking of alcohol. Kaidan is left with an aftertaste that has him frowning at the shot glass.

“Not in the slightest. God, some things don’t change I suppose.” That drink was just as bad as he remembers. Wren laughs again at that.

“Well, what are you into? I’m fine with anything.” She emphasizes that last bit with a low voice. Kaidan smiles down at her.

“Beer. But it’s hard to find what I like on the Citadel.”

“They actually have specialty drinks for the memorial. I’m sure I could find something you like.”

Kaidan perks up a bit at the thought. He didn’t even think to order something outside of the rather unimpressive whiskey he’s always ordered on the Citadel. Wren smiles a bit brighter as if sensing his excitement. She turns to catch the bartender’s attention once again.

While she’s ordering, Kaidan takes this situation in. His skin was humming from liquor and the buzz of music decibels too loud. A complete stranger that looks exactly like Shepard is an inch away. As if Shepard came back from the dead, two years later, like she had before.

And a man, dressed down in a hoodie, lingers near the bar. He looks away quickly when Kaidan spots him. Suspicious. Kaidan’s grip on the bar tightens.

“Ta dah!” Wren leans back a bit, showing Kaidan the score: Canadian lager, one of his favorite brands, and two held in each hand between her fingers. Kaidan gives her a surprised and grateful smile and takes two of them in a hand.

“Finally.” He pops the metal tops off of two and hands one to Wren. She takes it with a smile and gently clinks her glass against his. He can't help but raise an eyebrow when she proceeds to chug the whole damn thing. The bright smile on her face when she finishes makes him laugh. It takes him back to the drinking match he had with Shepard on their shore leave. They woke up, empty bottles surrounding the bed, legs tangled up together, and in desperate need of aspirin. The two continue to talk, surprising Kaidan with how easy it is. She seems enamored by every story he tells, asking questions about the planets he's been stationed on or the teammates he was with. He carefully leaves out anything that would reveal too much about him, but he enjoys every second of it. For a long while, he forgets the suspicious figure. But halfway through a story involving some biotic shenanigans, his eyes find that black hood from across the room once again. They’ve moved further away but they were still in sight. He can’t tell if they’re watching them because of the hood but something tells Kaidan they are. Wren puts a gentle hand on his chest, Kaidan startles a bit and looks down as she leans in.

“Want to go somewhere quiet, Kaidan?” Wren asks in a low voice, lips brushing against his ear. Her voice, barely audible over the music, sends shivers through his whole body, he can barely conceal it. It was the best thing he heard all night.

“Read my mind.”

Wren smiles and takes his hand, turning away from the bar to the door. The two move around groups of dancers, and Kaidan notices the hooded figure has disappeared from the wall. When they make their exit and the atmosphere changes, a thought comes to Kaidan.

He isn’t under the impression that there was world peace because the Reapers were no longer a threat. The universe Shepard had fought for, the universe Shepard had saved… It was a messy, violent place. Beautiful, but dangerous.

Much like Wren.

Her allure and familiarity, the pleasant surprise of his favorite beer that just happened to be sold for the first time in a Citadel bar, and that shady stranger. Kaidan can smell some kind of trouble coming, feels it in his gut.

Wren seems to sense some kind of hesitation on his end and slows to a halt.

“Oh… is it too early to ask you to come home with me?” Disappointment drips from her voice.

Kaidan nearly says yes, increasingly on edge by the growing number of coincidences. But he stares at Wren and the alarms that had started to sound suddenly go quiet, all at once.

Her eyes are the same gray as Shepard’s. He couldn’t see them before in the flashing strobe lights of the club. But he does now. They’re beautiful and look at him with a longing that echoes deep inside him.

If she really was sent to ruin him somehow, Kaidan would have to applaud the masterminds behind this.

“No.” He says softly.
“I’m all yours.”

A look of bashfulness graces Wren’s face for a moment. Then her lips curl into a devious smile, flirtatious and too fucking familiar for Kaidan not to go crazy for.

They take a cab to her place. Her hand runs up and down his inner thigh. When he catches her eye with a burning gaze, she gives him a taunting smile. Kaidan’s eyes don’t leave her for a moment.

Kaidan has Wren pressed against her apartment wall before her door slides locked with a soft sound.

They leave a trail of clothing through the kitchen on their way to the bedroom.

00:00 CST, 8 Days Until the Memorial

Chapter Text

09:52 CST, 8 Days Until the Memorial

Kaidan wakes with a start. It takes a long moment to get his bearings.

At first, he thinks he’s dreaming, another visit from the ghost of his memories perhaps. But when his eyes open, he finds the ceiling is completely unfamiliar. Kaidan’s eyes drop to the arm haphazardly draped across his chest. It may look like Shepard’s, but last night’s events flash in his mind. It was Wren who lay beside him, face down in the pillows with an arm around his waist.

The feeling of another person beside him is jarring, even more so because she looks like Shepard. But it's a comfort as well. Looking at Wren, he doesn’t feel the full weight of his grief. Just a heavy sense of guilt.

A self depreciating chuckle is all he can manage at that. Feeling guilt towards Shepard when she was already…dead. Well, he had felt this way when his friends had convinced him to go on a date with a doctor, just before he met Shepard again on Horizon. Nothing new.

Kaidan buries the memories and the pain again. This wasn’t the time or place.

He takes a cursory glance at the clock on the bedside table and his eyes widen. It was nearly 10AM. He hasn’t gotten more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep for longer than he cares to admit, and here he was about to sleep through his lunch plans.

With careful movements so as not to wake Wren, Kaidan slips out of the bed. He takes a moment to look around the apartment. It was one floor, the bedroom being the largest section. It had a high ceiling with windows that stretched to the floor, lining an entire wall. They let in a good amount of artificial Citadel sunlight, illuminating the huge mess Wren and Kaidan left the room in.

Somewhat embarrassed, Kaidan quickly gathers his clothes off the floor and replaces any fallen knick knacks or decorations. He’s in the small living room, reaching under the sofa for a boot when he hears movement in the bedroom. He pulls it back on and, fully dressed again, walks back over. He wouldn’t just leave without saying something now that Wren was awake.

Wren has pulled on a pair of thick gray sweatpants and a plain white shirt. She is sitting crossed legged on the center of the bed and looks up from her omni tool when Kaidan turns the corner. Kaidan is rewarded with a look of shock followed by a large smile. Wren’s eyes are warm, hidden slightly by the frames of her glasses which Kaidan immediately decides he loves on her. He never even imagined Shepard with glasses since she had sharp eyes even before Cerberus’ many implants.

Now that Kaidan is sober, he feels a bit bad for the constant comparisons between the two women.

“I thought you left already.” Wren’s voice is sugar sweet. Kaidan’s lips twitch into a hint of a smile. It’s hard not to be happy at such obvious affection, even if his feelings towards all of this are complicated.

“I need to, soon. Thought I would say good bye first.” Kaidan takes a few steps into the room as he speaks.
“Do you need anything before I go?”

Wren stares at him with wide eyes.

“...Your voice is incredibly attractive.”

Kaidan pauses.

“I heard it last night of course, but—“ Wren pauses when Kaidan smiles.

“Just thought you should know.” Wren finishes slowly.

“Thank you.” He’s walking towards her as if pulled by an invisible force. He could still make it to his lunch, even if he spent a little more time here. If he was a few minutes late… Well, Garrus and Tali would understand.

Wren’s eyes gleam with anticipation as he approaches. With a small laugh, she removes her glasses and shifts to the edge of the bed, towards Kaidan. Warm gray eyes call for him.

The only warning is a flash of movement in his peripheral vision.

The tall windows of the bedroom shatter inwards with enough force to cut, as four sets of boots repel through them, silenced assault rifles firing before the glass has settled. Debris and shrapnel lay relentlessly into Kaidan’s rushed barrier. But it only lasts a second, as Kaidan expands his barrier and pushes, sending the whole line of aggressors right back out the window, shattered glass following their descent. Their cries are muted by the sound of heavy boots in the hall and apartment above them.

“Shit.” Kaidan whips his head toward Wren, feeling the cruel twist of betrayal.
“What is this?” His voice is quiet but full of accusation.

Wren’s arms are shielding her face, when she hears Kaidan they lower. A breathless gasp escapes her as she moves her shoulder. The fabric of her t-shirt is burned along with flesh, likely from the heat of mass-accelerated shrapnel just missing her. Looking at that wound, Kaidan makes a split second decision.

With an angry exhale, he reaches across the bed and drags Wren with him. She squeaks in surprise but doesn’t resist.

Regardless of her role in this, it was clear they had no qualms with hurting her. If Kaidan hadn’t reflexively extended his barrier to shield her, she would be dead right now. The very thought of her laid out, bleeding out on the white sheets, her eyes cold, dead, and gray, just like Shepard’s… it made him physically shudder.

Kaidan no longer cares if Wren was lying to him this whole time, if she was helping these mercs or not, or even if her name was actually Wren. She looks like Shepard and he’d be damned if she was going to die in front of him.

There’s a loud bang at the door, the sound of someone forcing their way in. All these thoughts and emotions swirling through Kaidan are compartmentalized. It was time to move. He strides quickly to the shattered window, tightly gripping Wren’s arm. She makes a small sound of protest, pulling against him as they approach the edge overlooking a 400 foot drop. Kaidan swivels and pulls Wren to him, their faces a few inches away. He stares hard into her eyes.

“From now on, you have to listen to me or you will die. No questions, no protests. Understood?” He spoke with all the command of his rank, Alliance obedience is what he needed from Wren if she wanted to get out of this alive.

Wren’s eyes glisten with tears, but she nods fervently.

“Good. Get on my back, do not let go until I say you can.”

Kaidan turns and Wren obediently climbs onto his back, her grip tightening as Kaidan tests the repel ropes left behind. He could hear the boots retreating from the apartment above. Seems no one wanted to follow in the first mercs footsteps. Kaidan wraps the rappel rope around his forearm and positions himself over the edge. He slides down with Wren on his back, holding on for dear life. The very next moment, the front door flies open, slamming into the wall. The sound of boots and muffled commands flood her apartment.

Kaidan quickly cuts an opening in the thick window of the apartment below Wren’s with an omniblade. He’s rushed further by the fact that they’re one cut rope away from a deadly plummet, and Wren clinging tight enough to choke him.

As soon as the two maneuver through the window of the apartment, Kaidan taps her arms, signaling for her to let go. She slides off Kaidan’s back, her bare feet hitting the rug. Kaidan grips her uninjured shoulder and pushes her along, firm but careful.

They exit the empty apartment and quietly rush to the elevator, hitting the button for the bottom floor.

“Who are they?” Kaidan demands as soon as the doors close.

“I-I don’t know, I mean, I d-don’t— I’m not sure.” Wren stutters through a weak excuse.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen, I’m sorry, I-“

The look Kaidan gives her silences her immediately.

“There’s usually a reason when an entire squad of well armed mercenaries come boots first through your apartment window.” He says sharply.

“I know… I’m sorry, I don’t have an explanation right now, but I promise I’ll figure this out.” Wren says desperately.

Kaidan lets out a frustrated sigh. How many times could one person go through this? Blindsided by the last person he wanted it from, then asked to just let it go and trust. And when the dust settles, he’ll be the one feeling like a fool.

“This conversation isn’t over. We’ll get out of here and then I need an explanation. A real one.”

“I— okay, I promise.”

The elevator approaches the bottom floor, quiet but for a gentle hum.

None of this was making any sense to Kaidan. He may have some enemies, given his work as a spectre and in the Alliance, but he always did things by the book. Clean, no loose ends. No one should want him dead badly enough to give him Shepard’s ‘fish tank’ treatment.

Kaidan’s brows furrow before he glances at Wren.

She’s wiping away a stray tear from her face, the face that looks exactly like Shepard’s.

Is Wren a clone?

Kaidan takes a deep breath in as rage threatens to spill over. He’s dangerously close to just exploding.

But he has no time to dissect this or question her further. Kaidan’s biotics hum to life once more as they near the ground floor.

He didn’t know if this was just an assassination attempt or if a larger attack on the Citadel was in the works. It didn’t matter.

Kaidan vows to find every last person even remotely involved in this scheme, figure out what the hell is going on, and end it. He’d do it with just his bare hands and biotics if he had to.

“Stay close.” He says as he positions himself in front of Wren.

The elevator doors slide open.

Chapter Text

Kaidan pulls Wren behind a curving column as mercenaries clad in black armor fire from across the building lobby. He takes a quick glance around the column, surveying the room with a quick glance before he can get shot.

The lobby is a large circular space, similar in theme and structure to the buildings on the Presidium. The very center of the room was empty but for some furniture and heavy planters that surround a water fountain. High above the lobby, bridges held up by curved columns cross over the lobby in a loose helix, connecting opposite sides of higher floors. A dismal design choice, from what Kaidan can see from behind one of the columns. It seems they know this too, Kaidan can hear mercs running above, trying to spot him and Wren.

“Wren, are there any exits besides the front door?” Kaidan asks quickly.

“Yeah,” she flinches away from the edge of the column as part of it flies away in a cloud of glass and metal. “There are a couple of stores and cafes on the edge of the lobby, there should be a back exit in every one.”

“Great. Stay as low and close as possible. We’ll run to the closest store when-“

“Here!” Kaidan and Wren’s head whip up as a mercenary aims at them from one of the walkways overhead, in just the right position to see them behind the column.

“Go!” Kaidan pushes Wren forward, wrapping them both in a barrier as they’re fired upon by a growing number of mercs.

The two duck behind a large sectional planter that curves around the lobby, moving in a crawl as dirt, leaves, and debris fly over their heads. Kaidan spots a group of mercs rounding the corner further ahead to cut them off and pushes Wren to the ground behind him. He lifts a hand and puts all his focus into a biotic push, aiming low with deadly precision. Five sets of legs flip into the air, sending the squad into disarray as they land and slide across the floor. Kaidan strengthens his barrier once more as he pulls a fallen weapon across the distance, clattering as it makes his way to his palm.

A heavily modified Mattock. Definitely not the Alliance standard, but Shepard and Garrus had taught him the ins and outs of every make, model, and mod that was worth anything. He shoulders the gun and makes quick target practice of the disorganized group. There’s a pause of silence as the rest of the mercs realize five of them were killed in five seconds.

“Up.” Wren obediently hurries back into a crouch at his command.

The two rush forward, Kaidan picking off mercenaries above them when he can, and notices two large groups making their way around the edge of the circular room on opposite sides. There are at least 15 more people sweeping the ground floor of the large open lobby, moving to pin him and Wren down.

Kaidan steps over one of the fallen bodies to take cover behind another column. Wren and Kaidan would lose their cover when either group got close enough. They would have to keep pressing forward along the edge of the room, fight through one of the squads on the ground floor. Kaidan quickly picks up more thermal clips from the dead and readies himself.

He finds himself blinking in surprise as Wren reaches down for a weapon at the same time. He nearly tells her to drop it, but…

Wren handles the weapon with a familiar ease, quickly picking up a Mattock and inspecting it, then replacing the heat sink and readying it on her shoulder without flagging him. Her face lifts from the weapon, gray eyes no longer glassy with tears, but focused and sharp, looking to him for commands.

He has to remind himself this isn’t Shepard. Some armor and a witty quip and Kaidan could believe this was all a cruel joke, that Shepard was alive. But this is Wren, and Kaidan isn’t in the mood for banter.

The most he could do for Wren is keep her alive… and trust she wouldn’t shoot him in the back.

“We’ll take the group approaching on our right since they’re closer to an exit. I’m going to handle the squad, I need you to shoot at anything out there and give us some cover fire.”

“Understood.” She says firmly.

Maybe they could get out of this if Wren is as capable as she seems. Kaidan steadies himself with a deep breath.

“Let’s move.” Kaidan takes off low and quick, sticking to columns and cover when he can. As they move forward along the hall, the mercenaries above continue to fire at them, yelling out commands and splitting up to cover more angles on the bridges. He spots the ground team he is targeting as the mercs search for a better shot.

Kaidan takes cover in a corner made by a large column and thick, waist high planters. Wren sets up right next to him, aiming up at the arching bridges above. When the ground squad’s firing lulls, Kaidan sends off a biotic pull that drags three of the mercs across the hall. They curse as they slide to a halt right next to Kaidan, trying to scramble up as Kaidan puts bullets in the weak part of their armor at their neck. They go limp, blood bubbling up through the holes in their armor.

Wren fires next to him, a moment later the sound of shattering glass can be heard a few dozen feet above them. Kaidan glances over to see bodies clad in black armor fall from the bridges, ragdolling and spinning through the air before landing with a heavy thud on the ground 30 feet below. Her aim was scary good, to the mercenaries and Kaidan.

He refocuses on the ground team in front of them as Wren continues to drop the mercs above. Together, they make an opening to a small cafe, running past a group of dead bodies and vaulting the store counter. Kaidan shoulders through the door to the back, Wren hot on his heels. The pair sprint around counters stocked with coffee beans, dextro-based caffeinated plants, and the instruments necessary to make the cafe's drinks. They can hear footsteps sprinting in the lobby now in an attempt to catch up as they break out of the cafe into a nondescript back hall with a glowing exit sign.

Kaidan and Wren waste no time sprinting out of the exit. The open air of the Citadel hits them and Kaidan finds to his immediate relief that everything appears to be in its normal state. No smoke or screams, the sounds of chaos and battle fade completely as the door slides closed again. There is no foot traffic in the immediate area but skycars make their way through the ward at a leisurely pace. It seems the mercenaries are confined to the apartment building.

Kaidan inspects the area they’re in, a simple alley-like space between residential buildings, likely built as a fire escape. He spots a ladder at one end that descends to a lower platform that would lead to the Lower Wards where they could lose the mercs.

“Come on, we should try to put as much distance-”

“Kaidan!” Wren screams.

He whips around. Wren is sprinting, a hand reaching for him. Behind her, tucked behind heavy duty shipping crates is a mercenary holding a piece of heavy weaponry on their shoulder. It whirs with a mechanic whine, a red tracing light trained on them.

“Shit-” The weapon fires with a heavy thunk, Kaidan reaches out for Wren, a splitting pain shooting through his head as he exerts his biotics, creating the strongest barrier he can between Wren and the missile. It shatters as the missile explodes against it, the force of the blast throws Wren hard against Kaidan and carries them both right over the ledge of the platform.

Wren’s arms tighten around Kaidan, grasping for anything to keep them together. For a long moment they fly through the air, broken glass and shrapnel glittering around them before gravity takes them full force. A memory flashes in Kaidan’s mind as he hears Wren gasp.

Shepard sits up straighter, putting aside her tablet with a look of astonishment. She’s been curled up on her recliner, slowly working through war reports while watching Kaidan messes around with his biotics for the past few hours.

“No fucking way.” She exclaims quietly.

A bead of sweat rolls down Kaidan’s brow as they pinch in concentration. His feet slowly lower to the ground, his entire body outlined in the telltale blue of his biotics. He releases his channeling and looks up at Shepard with a smug smile.

”I told you I could do it.” A surge of pride rushes through Kaidan as Shepard looks at him with wide eyes and a smile, obviously impressed.

“I specifically recall you saying you couldn’t do that actually.” Shepard teases.

“No, I said I couldn’t within the next ten minutes.” Kaidan corrects, walking over to the coffee table for his towel.

“I was under the impression you had to live for hundreds of years and unlock the secrets of the universe to float around like Samara.”

“I’ve always been wise beyond my years.” Kaidan says nonchalantly, wiping sweat from his brow. Shepard stares at him for a moment before quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Sure you have. But seriously, how did you figure it out? Liara and Jacob already mentioned how strange it was that you could reave. And now you’ll be jumping off banisters instead of using stairs.”

Kaidan smiles and drops the towel.

“Some guidance and a lot of hard work.” He says with a shrug. “...And maybe a few pointers from Samara.”

Shepard’s eyes gleam with amusement.

“You asked Samara, the Justicar, to help you with a parlor trick when we’re at war.”

“I asked during the party, she was happy to help.” Kaidan frowns, faking offense. “And this is so much more than a simple parlor trick. You’ve seen it in the field, it has a real, tactical purpose.”

“Okay then, biotic god, since you’ve seemed to master floating around already, why stop at a couple feet. Jump from the balcony.” Shepard points at the banister of the second floor in her apartment.

Kaidan looks over his shoulder, eyeing the drop. He had been practicing by stepping off a box a couple feet tall. It took all his concentration and power to slow himself for that height.

“Okay,” Kaidan raises his hands in forfeit. “It’s not tactical yet.”

Shepard breaks into a rare bout of laughter and Kaidan can’t help but join in.

“Well, maybe not in the next ten minutes,” Shepard says with a smile full of love and admiration. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

The familiar glow of Kaidan’s biotics wrap around him and Wren as they plummet. It isn’t elegant or smooth, and feels closer to repeatedly slamming on the brakes while flooring the gas, but Kaidan slows their descent into something survivable. But that’s all he can manage.

Kaidan’s back slams into the metal floor and Wren on top of him, punching the air from his lungs hard. His vision darkens as he loses consciousness.

When his eyes open a moment later, a blurry figure is standing above him. He can barely see them through the afterimage the explosion burned into his retinas. The person is talking but all Kaidan hears is ringing in his ears.

He struggles to take a few gasping breaths before the world suddenly shifts, leaving him nauseous and breathless again. Kaidan realizes he’s being lifted, thrown across someone’s shoulders in a fireman’s carry. He hears that voice again, saying something to him though he can’t make sense of it.

Shepard?

Chapter Text

“Kaidan.” A familiar voice calls. “Kaidan, please. Please wake up.”

Warm hands grasp his. He can feel the chill of a metal floor on his back, a glaring light just behind his eyelids, the throbbing pain of a migraine and possible injury. Exhaustion lays heavy on him, begs him to slip into a deep sleep. The general sense of wrongness is the only thing that pushes his eyelids open.

“Kaidan!” The person beside him exclaims, relieved from the sound of it.

“Shepard?” Kaidan grunts out in confusion, still reeling from the sudden bombardment of consciousness.

“Wren. It’s Wren.” She says quietly. The somber tone of her voice pulls Kaiden’s mind into focus. A wave of grief washes over him, but it’s quickly followed by shame. Calling a woman he just slept with and nearly died with by another’s name, even if they sound the same... Well, Kaidan doesn’t feel too great about it. He squints through the harsh clinical lights in an attempt to read her expression, but her face is carefully neutral by the time his vision clears.

Kaidan frowns before hesitantly reaching for her. “Wren--”

“Thank god you woke up,” She cuts in, giving him a weak smile. “I was worried your injuries were worse than I thought. How do you feel?”

Kaidan sighs, letting the apology die. Foolish of him to think he owes one in the first place. Wasn’t this whole situation Wren’s fault anyway? His mouth twists into a grimace and he glances around, taking note of the medical supplies and equipment that fill the small room they're in. Packets of medigel, bandages, and pill bottles make a small pile next to Kaidan’s feet. Wren is sitting next to him, trembling hands holding an open tube of Medigel. Kaidan sits up with a grunt using a nearby wall for support, then runs a quick body diagnostic with his omnitool. The additional combat and medical support software was a nice perk of his Spectre and military status.

“How much of that did you use?” Kaidan asks as he gently pulls it from her hands and inspects the packet.

“Half the tube, it's quick setting and doesn’t have any sedatives in it.” Wren pauses, before adding softly, “I wasn’t sure what to do, so I brought you here, I’m so sorry.”

She can fight and now she knows her way around a medkit. So, she definitely has prior combat experience, and a lot of it based on her skill back at the apartment building. Kaidan lets out yet another sigh, growing more weary by the second.

“Where are we exactly?” It looks like a small clinic, likely in the Lower Wards based on the size and equipment. But it’s completely empty on what should be a business day. Plastic is wrapped over expensive medical machinery in the corner of the room.

“It’s a medical facility in the Tayseri Lower Ward.” Wren says as her eyes scan Kaidan full of concern.

“Why the Tayseri Ward?” Kaidan gives Wren a wary look. “Do you work here?”

“No, uh…” Wren looks around and sighs. “A friend of mine owns it. I just help out sometimes. She gave me the passcode in case of emergencies. It’s undergoing renovations soon so I knew it would be empty and figured this was the safest option for everyone.”

Kaidan listens quietly. He doesn’t think she’s lying, so this place could be a good lead to uncovering whatever hidden plot Kaidan was now a part of. The clinic and its owner. He checks the physical diagnostic from his omnitool, a minor concussion and some light bruising is all that remains after Wren’s application of medigel, though he expects it was far worse before her treatment. When Wren turns away to sort through the medical supplies, he quickly saves this location for later investigation.

Wren turns back with some tweezers and cleansing wipes. “Anyway, I didn’t want to drag anyone else into this. It’s bad enough I did this to you.”

Kaidan desperately wants to dig further into that statement, but he has bigger issues to address first. “No one tailed us right?”

“No, but we shouldn’t stay here long. They might be looking for us.” Wren sighs, resting her head against the wall. “They’re definitely looking for us. I bought us some time but not much.”

“Weapons?”

“None. They flew off somewhere when that asshole tried to blow us up. Thanks for not letting him.” Wren gives him a sweet smile with her thanks. It warms Kaidan’s heart, and shreds him apart.

“Sure.” Kaidan responds halfheartedly, trying to numb himself to the pain he feels on all fronts. “Are you hurt?” He looks at the shoulder that was burnt in the first attack but doesn't see anything else.

“Are we talking mentally or physically? Because yes.” Wren laughs darkly. Kaidan blinks, he wasn't expecting humor from her right now.

“Uh, I meant physically, mostly. Is it just your shoulder?”

Wren lifts a barefoot in the air, it's torn up and dirty from the shrapnel and debris from the hectic morning. Kaidan sucks in a sharp breath. He hates what seeing her hurt does to him.
Careful of the sharp migraine in the back of his head, Kaidan eases himself into a crouch and gently takes the tweezers and wipes from Wren’s hands. A quick search through the pile of supplies and Kaidan pulls out a glove and a container of topical light strength medigel.

“You were barefoot this whole time weren’t you?” It takes a lot for Kaidan to hold back the words of concern that sit on the tip of his tongue.

“Not much time to slip on sneakers in a firefight,” Wren jokes with a light laugh. Her smile falters when she sees Kaidan’s frown deepen as he checks her wounds. “It isn’t too bad, I just don’t think I can walk on them anymore.”

“That makes sense, they’re shredded. Lay back and lift your foot.” Wren does as he asks without question, shifting her position to lay on the metal flooring and lifting a leg. Kaidan grasps her ankle softly, guiding her leg to rest on his bent knee. Then he starts carefully picking out the shards of glass in Wren’s foot.

“This will sting a bit.” He warns softly before cleaning the cuts with a wipe. Medigel follows quickly after and the rips in her skin begin to pull themselves together as it stimulates the cells. Kaidan moves on to the next foot while that one heals.

“You know, medigel kind of tickles.” Wren tilts her head to smile up at Kaidan from where she lays on the floor. Kaidan chuckles despite himself, sparing her a glance before refocusing on the poor state of her left foot.

“That's a new one. I may know a few people who disagree.”

“It does! I think it's just the adrenaline and pain that keeps people from noticing.” Wren says with an overly thoughtful expression. Kaidan shakes his head in befuddled amusement as he lowers her treated foot. Wren slowly sits up again so Kaidan can heal her shoulder, still committed to defending her argument. “It feels like a bunch of tiny little people running on your skin when it regenerates. But you wouldn’t notice something like that if someone just shot you.”

Kaidan smirks, “Something about nearly dying makes everything a little less ticklish, huh?” He asks ironically while pulling back the collar of her shirt to inspect her wound. Wren laughs softly.

“Well, maybe not everything.” Wren says in a low whisper, catching Kaidan’s gaze with warm eyes, like pools of liquid silver. Their faces are only few inches away from each other, and as her breath skates across his lips, memories from last night and feelings much older flood Kaidan’s mind.

Those beautiful eyes underneath him, hot breaths crashing against his skin, intimate whispers just for his ears. Years of saving each other and forgiveness and trust. Safety. Acceptance. Peace, so deep it soothes the constant ache in his head.

Fuck. This is insane. He’s insane.

A complete fucking stranger, holding the key to his very soul when Kaidan already feels too fragile to make it through Shepard’s memorial. He has to physically pull away, leaning back to escape the pull of her gravity. A shuddering breath he didn’t know he was holding escapes, the exhaustion of this entire ordeal hitting him again tenfold. Kaidan breaks eye contact and runs a tense hand through his hair, willing himself to steady.

After a long moment and a few deep breaths, Kaidan returns his gaze to Wren’s wound, careful to ignore any expression she makes. Scared of what it might do to him.

“Wren. I need answers. Now.” He says quietly, aware that the hurt hidden behind the anger is clear on his face. Exposed, that's the feeling. Vulnerable in the wrong way.

A sigh. Then Wren, quiet and pleading, says, “Kaidan.” It’s that tone that makes him look up, the hand holding the now empty tube of medigel dropping to his side. Her face twists in pain, as if Kaidan’s demand was a knife in the gut.

“Can’t I just thank you for saving my life, then… we go separate ways?” She doesn’t appear to like that idea despite suggesting it. “I don’t want you to have to deal with this. It's my problem, not yours.”

Kaidan takes in these words like oxygen. It's dizzying.

“Wait. Were those men after you, specifically?” Kaidan asks, hoping for something he probably shouldn’t.

Wren simply blinks. Then her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“What? Yeah. Yes, of course.” She leans toward Kaidan with a look of worry, once again closing the space. “They were after me, why would they be after you?”

“Well, I thought…” you were working with them to kill me. Oh god, he knew this would make a fool out of him somehow. Kaidan drops his head with a loud groan. Was he being paranoid and self-absorbed? Or was this all part of the plan too? He felt like he was swimming through murky waters with no way to tell up from down.

He lifts his head and finds Wren staring at him with obvious concern.

“So they’re after you.” Kaidan just accepts it as the truth for now. “Was the man in the hoodie last night with them?”

“I never saw him,” Wren frowns. It feels wrong to Kaidan, watching Wren nervously pick at a nail. Probably because Shepard didn’t have any obvious tells of her immense stress. “It’s likely he was. I should’ve been more careful.”

“So,” Kaidan starts slowly, “It was just a coincidence that I was with you at the time?”

Wren nods.

“And I wasn’t their target?”

Another nod.

“And you aren’t working with them?”

Wren gasps. Then suddenly her hands cover Kaidan’s, squeezing them in an attempt to convey just how earnest she was.

“Kaidan, I would never.” Her eyes burn with a certainty that says more than her words..

It throws Kaidan completely off, and his eyes slowly widen as he realizes… He believes her. It was too dangerous to act on this feeling, but deep down he was already convinced. But then, how does he explain all of these coincidences? If Wren was in fact a clone, that might explain her combat skill and the militant group following her around. It doesn’t explain why she approached him though. Shepard’s clone, the one they had fought around two years ago (and killed), showed no indication of knowing or caring about Normandy’s team beyond Shepard. If Wren really was a clone, she had nothing in common with the previous.

She had already put herself in danger by carrying an unconscious Kaidan all the way here, barefoot and bleeding. That isn’t nothing.

Wren registers the odd look on Kaidan’s face as he tries to fit the few puzzle pieces he has together and looks away uncomfortably. Her hands pull away and Kaidan is tempted to reach out for them again.

“I… I should go.” She whispers before standing quickly on healed feet. This time Kaidan does reach out, catching Wren's wrist carefully.

“Wait.” His voice is soft enough to pause Wren in her tracks. “Stay. Where would you go when you have those mercenaries after you?”

Wren bites a nail nervously, “Off the Citadel, as quickly as possible. Maybe out of Citadel space entirely.” Kaidan couldn’t hate that idea more.

“You’re staying here.” He says with a finality that surprises him as much as Wren.

“What? No, no, I couldn’t- I can’t do that.”

“You can. I’m not going to let anyone get away with nearly killing us. Stay until the investigation is over.” Wren opens her mouth to argue, but hesitates as Kaidan gently pulls her closer, slides his hand from her wrist to her hand.

“Stay, Wren. Until we know its safe.”

Wren seems to deflate under his gaze, the fight taken out of her. Instead, a light blush dusts her face.

“Fine.” She says quietly, sighing after she says. “But we need to get somewhere safe.”

“I know just the place.”

12:13 CST, Presidium Commons

“I was starting to hope you’d never show up.” Garrus says, lounging back with an arm around Tali’s shoulders, half empty drinks sitting on the table.

“Sorry to interrupt your date.” Kaidan responds, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

“Oh hush, Garrus. We were worried, well, I was worried. It is so good to see you again.” Tali says warmly as she stands to greet him. She steps around the table, likely for a hug, but her approach falters when she sees the hooded figure standing by Kaidan’s side.

“A friend, Kaidan?” Tali asks in her usual warm lilt, though something in her tone tells Kaidan she’s already coming up with a story dramatic enough to rival Fleet and Flotilla.

Wren pulls her hood further down her face and tugs on the back of Kaidan’s shirt.

“You said somewhere safe!” She hisses angrily. “Not a picnic!”

“There’s nowhere safer than with my friends.” Kaidan quietly reassures her.

“You don’t get it…” Wren whispers, shifting to put Kaidan between her and the two aliens. Kaidan studies her for a moment, it seems like she’s more reluctant to be seen by Garrus and Tali than she is to be in the cafe.

Garrus stands up eyeing the new guest with sharp, curious eyes.

“Is this why you were late Kaidan?” Garrus asks, somewhat confused by the presence of a stranger but otherwise at ease.

“Introduce us,” Tali demands.

“Of course, this is Wren.” Kaidan places his hand on the small of Wren’s back and pushes her from behind him. She barely budges from his side, determinedly keeping the hood up.
“We met last night in… a bar. Which, uh, is irrelevant.” Kaidan can see the faintest movement of Tali’s eyes widening in her helmet.

“Anyway,” Kaidan continues. “To put it plainly, someone tried to give us the ‘fishbowl treatment’ this morning.” Garrus perks up at that. “And she… looks like Shepard. Just to warn you.” Kaidan adds quietly. Garrus and Tali share a look.

“Great.” Garrus hums sarcastically. “I knew we were due for some near death experiences.”

“I do recall you saying something about wanting to ‘try out these new calibrations’” Tali imitates Garrus, mimicking looking down a rifle's sights while dropping her voice comically.

Garrus frowns, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, I do not calibrate my Widow. It’s a completely different process from the Normandy’s guns.”

Tali laughs, drawing an amused chuckle out of Garrus. Kaidan watches the interaction with a small smile. Happy the two of them were able to find a piece of joy amidst it all, and actually keep it. Keeping it was always the hard part.

He’s pulled from his thoughts when Wren lets out a quiet sigh. She’s also watching the two, Kaidan realizes. Her shoulders are tense and there’s a strange look in her eyes. Kaidan can’t even begin to guess what she’s thinking right now. He can’t help but look between the three of them, trying to uncover what could possibly connect them all.

Garrus’ voice breaks that train of thought, “Shall we change locations? Somewhere a little less eye-catching?” The Citadel was already busy due to the Memorial, and the cafe they were in was a popular place this time of day. They were starting to draw too much attention.

“Sure,” Kaidan nods. “You know where my apartment is, right?”

Garrus and Tali nod before moving towards the exit. Tali pauses, then turns to Kaidan and rests a gentle hand on Kaidan’s elbow. It's brief and silent, but Kaidan feels the encouragement in the gesture. His eyes follow her briefly, full of gratitude for the Quarian, before refocusing on Wren.

“Let’s go.” He says gently, noting her obvious reluctance.

“You’re going to regret this.” She mumbles.

Kaidan hums, softly guiding her forward. “We’ll see.”

Chapter Text

“Alright, let’s see it.”

Wren slides her hood back with a glare. “I’m not an it. My name is Wren.”

Garrus and Tali lean in from where they’re seated on the sofa across the coffee table from Wren and Kaidan. Tali crosses her arms and leans back against the sofa again with an inquisitive hum. Garrus rests his arms on his knees before looking at Kaidan.

“So… She’s a clone,” Garrus says from across the table. Wren glares, crushing the fabric of the couch in a tight fist. Kaidan can only offer a small shrug in response. He’s thinking it too, but he hadn’t planned on bringing it up right in front of Wren.

“That’s ridiculous,” Wren huffs, not missing a beat. “I’m not a clone, I just look like the Commander.”

Garrus lets out a sharp laugh, eyes narrowing. “There’s resemblance and then there's this. Everything from your build, height, eye and hair color, it’s all the same.” His voice drops to a low, intimidating growl, inspired by interrogations during his Archangel days no doubt. “Plus, who would care about a simple Shepard look-alike enough to want to kill her?”

“I never said my situation was simple,” Wren grits out between clenched teeth.

“It’s obviously not,” Garrus shoots back. “Who are you working for?”

“I’m not working for anyone.”

“You’re unemployed?” Garrus tilts his head.

“W-what? I mean, I suppose…” Wren hesitates, unsure where this line of questioning leads. Kaidan remembers the clinic, how Wren ‘just helps out sometimes.’

“Then who supports you? The Citadel is an expensive place to live,” Garrus asks before Wren can think enough to elaborate on the previous question.

“Uh, some friends—“ Wren’s mouth clamps shut, a look of panic flashing across her face and gone so quickly Kaidan thinks he imagines it. A quick glance to Garrus affirms it though, the Turian looks like he just got his teeth on something. All that’s left is to bite down.

“Your friends, who are they?” Garrus asks.

“That’s none of your business, they shouldn’t be dragged into this.” Wren’s voice drops low, all edges and violence thinly concealed behind civility. Her tone nearly sends a shiver down Kaidan’s spine. He notices Tali shift uncomfortably. Garrus, the crazy bastard, leans in with a glare of his own.

“I have a feeling they’re already a part of this. Who are they?”

The two glare at each other in silence. The tension is rigid enough that Kaidan thinks it’ll be audible when it snaps. Much to his surprise, Wren breaks the glaring contest to glance at Kaidan. Her eyebrows pull together and her gaze softens into a plea. Kaidan realizes with a start that she’s hoping he’ll help her. A small frown tilts Kaidan’s lips. Sure, Garrus could be intimidating, but these questions should be easy to answer if Wren isn’t on the wrong side of the law. Not wanting to undercut Garrus’ interrogation, he refuses her with a small shake of his head. He tries to ignore the hurt in Wren’s eyes and the gut instinct to change his mind. Wren’s face twists back into a scowl as she turns to Garrus.

“I’m not involving my friends in this mess.” Wren stands abruptly, swiftly walking away before she can be interrogated any further. Garrus moves to stand, likely to force the truth out of Wren, but Kaidan shakes his head a fraction. That stops Garrus in his tracks, but it’s obvious he isn’t happy about it. The three watch Wren angrily retreat to Kaidan’s bedroom before anyone speaks.

“Kaidan,” Garrus starts with a doubtful tone.

“I’ll speak with her, get her to work with us somehow,” Kaidan says quietly, eyeing his bedroom door. “Leave her be for now.”

“If we don’t get something out of her now the trail will go cold.” Garrus matches Kaidan’s volume, but it’s cold and sharp. He’s taking this personally, which makes sense. Shepard was his best friend after all.

“I have a lead.” Kaidan pulls out his omnitool and sends a set of coordinates to Garrus and Tali.

“A clinic in the Lower Tayseri Ward and an apartment building in the Zakera Ward?” Tali asks a moment after looking at her omnitool.

“The apartment was where we were hit. Signals were jammed and there wasn't any sign of civilians in the building when we were fighting our way through it.”

“There hasn’t been any news about an attack either,” Tali says with a voice that tells Kaidan she’s deep in thought.

“You think there’s something suspicious with the owners of the property then?” Garrus asks. “It wouldn’t be easy to clear a whole apartment building otherwise.”

“It seems likely,” Kaidan says, gaining a nod of agreement from Garrus.

“And the clinic?” Garrus continues.

“Tayseri’s Hope Clinic, established by a Dr. Annara Fatomie in 2187, following directly after the first large scale rebuilding project on the Citadel,” Tali supplies helpfully, still looking at her omnitool.

“Wren said that clinic belonged to a friend.” Kaidan keeps his voice quiet, mindful of Wren in the next room. He doesn’t say more but it’s obvious Tali and Garrus know what this means. They have a solid lead, on the people hunting Wren and the people protecting her as well.

Garrus nods. “Okay, we’ll see what we can find.”

“You should rest,” Tali suggests to Kaidan. “Maybe speak with Wren soon. This would be much faster if she was on her side.”

Garrus hums in thought. “We aren’t going to leave her here right?” Kaidan and Tali look at Garrus.

“Where else would she stay…?” Kaidan asks, thinking about how they would even get her to stay put without Kaidan in the next room.

“A cell?” Garrus suggests. Kaidan is immediately against the idea and it must show because Garrus leans in shifting his tone in an attempt to convince Kaidan. “We can’t afford her tipping anybody off. If she’s a clone, her very existence is illegal anyway, I can’t imagine her ‘friends’ are law abiding citizens if they’re even remotely involved in this mess.”

“Isn’t that a bit of an assumption?” Kaidan asks with a neutral tone.

“Kaidan you could’ve died, this isn’t time for naivety,” Garrus warns. “Or being fooled by a fake.”

Kaidan sighs, stuffing down the flare of anger in his gut. “Garrus, Wren is as much a victim in this situation as I am. Until we find evidence, proper, irrefutable evidence, she’s innocent and so are her friends. They deserve our protection.”

Garrus and Kaidan lock eyes, neither inclined to yield on their perspective until Tali places a gentle hand on Garrus’ thigh. The tension dissipates and Garrus leans back with a sigh.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this Kaidan,” Garrus grumbles, albeit in a much softer tone. “I’m just worried...” about you, Kaidan mentally adds to the end of that statement.

He isn’t a fool. He could see the way people look at him. Kaidan forced himself into presenting some semblance of normalcy but it’s obvious he doesn’t share that gleam of hope so many have in their eyes since the Reapers were defeated. The dreams he had for the future died in the war along with Shepard. And now a clone of his lover was taking advantage of him in his weak state. At least that’s how he imagines it looks from the outside.

“Garrus,” he keeps his voice calm, but firm. “We don’t know who attacked us or what they’re capable of. Once we know more we can find somewhere else for Wren to stay, but right now this is the safest place for her. And if it turns out Wren or anyone else is guilty of some sort of crime, I’ll play it by the book. Like I always do.” He says pointedly, not entirely sure when Garrus of all people started feeling the need to babysit him. The Turian narrows his eyes, studying Kaidan for a moment before nodding. Tali releases a small sigh.

“Keep in touch, Kaidan. We’ll let you know when we find something,” Tali says standing. Garrus and Kaidan follow her.

“I will. Thank you—“ Kaidan is cut off when they both reach out, putting a hand on either of his shoulders. They’re silent but Kaidan gets the message. They’ve fought, risked life and limb, for each other’s homes, families, and lives. Thank you’s aren’t necessary. Kaidan chuckles when the two start after realizing they accidentally copied each other. The silent moment of comradery passes and they drop their arms with a glance at the other.

“Copying me now, Garrus?” Tali asks teasingly, crossing her arms.

“They say it’s the highest form of flattery,” Garrus draws out. “Are you swooning yet?”

Tali laughs, shifting her weight to her hip while she looks Garrus up and down. “It will take more than that to woo me, Vakarian.” Her tone makes it obvious that it’s an invitation to try.

“While this has been fun,” Kaidan says dryly, interjecting himself before this can continue. “It’s time for you two to go.”

Garrus chuckles before swinging an arm around Tali’s waist. “Fine, fine. We have to get to work anyway.” Kaidan thinks that sounds far too flirtatious for Garrus to be talking about the investigation. Tali leans into his side as they walk out the door, staring up at Garrus.

“You know what they say about couples who investigate deadly criminals together…” Tali says with a playful lilt.

“Oh?” Garrus asks, leaning over her.

Kaidan promptly closes the door on that. He might be happy for them, but damn. With a sigh he waves his omnitool over the security systems, activating them before turning to look at his bedroom door across the living room.

His apartment was nothing compared to the one Anderson had passed along to Shepard, which subsequently got passed on to him. This apartment is just a single floor with a good sized living room connected to a well supplied kitchen and a single bath and bedroom down a small hall. But it’s mercifully empty. There’s no blinking terminal with unread messages for someone who would never see them, or recordings of dead men with unforgettable legacies. No model ships, lovingly collected over the years. No memories of Shepard and him waiting to ambush him.

He’s grateful to this place.

Kaidan crosses the apartment and raps softly on the bedroom door. “Wren, I’m coming in.”

She’s curled up on the edge of the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. Her head lifts when Kaidan slowly enters, her eyes glancing nervously behind his shoulder.

“It’s just me,” He says softly before walking over and sitting by her. Her fists squeeze until they’re white knuckled.

“Kaidan…” Wren starts hesitantly, uncertain and quiet. Her eyes are glued to the ground like she’s afraid to look at him. “Please, promise me my friends won’t get hurt.” Kaidan studies her for a long moment.

“Why would they get hurt?” Kaidan asks slowly. Wren chews her lip before glancing at Kaidan.

“They aren’t… saints.”

Well, shit.

“But they never wanted to hurt anyone. They did all they could. They deserve a second chance.” Her hand falls to Kaidan's, squeezing it in desperation. “Shouldn’t everyone get a second chance?”

Kaidan mulls this over. He couldn’t have gotten where he was without the forgiveness of others but that doesn’t mean he didn’t pay a price. “Wren… I can’t guarantee they won’t face any consequences if they’ve done something wrong.” Wren’s face falls in dismay. Kaidan puts a comforting hand on her back before he can think better of it.

“But if you work with us, I’ll make sure no physical harm comes to them. The more information we have, the faster we can deal with this. I don’t think whoever was after you is against pulling bystanders into this if it suits them. If you want to protect your friends this is your best chance, regardless of what they did.” They sit quietly, Kaidan’s words hanging in the air.

“I don’t want them to get hurt,” Wren whispers. Kaidan raises an eyebrow.

“Your friends?”

“Tali and Garrus.”

Kaidan blinks in surprise. She had given no indication of caring about them anymore than being annoyed or fearful of their presence. This is a development.

“I know they would be safer if they didn’t go in blind. I’m just so scared.” Wren’s voice is broken and small. Kaidan could feel his heart swell, crushing his lungs. He rubs slow circles in her lower back.

“What are you scared of Wren?” He asks gently. She sucks in a shuddering breath.

“They’re going to take everything from me.” Her eyes are glassy with unshed tears as they look into Kaidan’s. “I-I just got this and they’re going to ruin everything, Kaidan.” Her trembling hands find purchase in his shirt, grasping in desperation. She looks up at him shaking, eyes wide in terror. Her words come out in a restrained sob.

“Please don’t let them kill me.”

That… that fucking hurts. Stabs a wound so deep and tender that Kaidan nearly writhes in the pain, has to fight back tears. Because he wants to say he’ll protect her. But look how successful he’s been so far. Shepard gave her life to save him and Normandy’s crew from the Collectors. Then again to save him and the rest of humanity. Kaidan couldn't protect Shepard when it really mattered. Not on Horizon, not on Virmire, not on the Collector ship, and not on that last sprint to the Catalyst. If he couldn’t protect Shepard, could he protect Wren?

Kaidan stares at the woman in front of him.

He doesn’t know if the universe was taunting him or giving him one last chance to do something right, but he’d be damned before he let anyone or anything harm a single fucking hair on her head, criminal or not. He wraps his arms around her and cradles her to his chest.

“I’ll protect you, Wren.” Or die trying.

Kaidan’s embrace tightens as he feels her lean into him, offering warmth and safety. She trembles in his arms, but if she cries it’s silent.

After a moment she mumbles into his chest, “I’m sorry.”

More apologies, Kaidan notes with a frown.

“I’ll tell you everything,” She says weakly, still hiding her face against his chest. “Just… just give me a little time. To think.”

Kaidan nods. “Sure.” He lets himself hold her for longer than he probably should before gently pulling away. Wren curls back on herself, hugging her legs to her chest as her expression turns thoughtful. Kaidan opens a drawer and pulls out a pair of sweatpants with a drawstring and white tee. He hesitates before pulling out a pair of compression shorts as well. Kaidan usually wore them under his armor or training gear but they would work well enough as underwear. Everything would be loose on Wren but the only thing that didn’t go through the firefight this morning was the shoes and hoodie Kaidan had bought her on their way to see Tali and Garrus. They could buy more belongings once they had a better grasp on the situation.

He places the folded stack next to Wren drawing her attention.

“There are towels in the bathroom closet. Use anything you want.”

“Am I staying here?” She asks with a searching glance.

“Yes.” Kaidan pauses. “If that’s okay with you.”

The small smile Wren gives him alleviates some of his unease about this situation.

“Yeah.” She takes the clothing in her arm and stands. “More than okay.”

Kaidan listens to the sound of the shower running with his eyes closed, head tilted back on the backrest of the sofa. The only light in the room spills in from under the bathroom door, leaving Kaidan in blissful darkness. His migraine was easing into a dull throb instead of the hammer-and-nail pain that accompanies overextending his L2 implant.

Garrus and Tali would figure out who was behind the attack, Kaidan has no doubt in the pair’s ability. But if a small militia somehow got control of an entire building on the Citadel and nearly killed Kaidan in their pursuit of Wren, this could quickly spiral out of control. Thankfully, Wren would provide more information on what was going on, but she wasn’t expecting the assassination attempt and won’t know how or when they'll be attacked next. There’s too many unknowns and Kaidan can’t afford to be complacent if he’s serious about keeping Wren safe. He needs to see all the pieces on the board to strategize.

And when you need information, who better to ask than the Shadow Broker?

His omnitool activates, casting an orange glow in the dimly lit room. Kaidan messages Liara.

Chapter Text

“Kaidan.” Liara’s voice is soft and raspy from sleep, but her vid feed shows her fully dressed in her command center. Light from what Kaidan expects is dozens of screens glow somewhere out of view, bouncing gently off her skin as she rubs at her eyes.

“My apologies, I was simply resting for a moment.” Kaidan’s eyes soften as Liara straightens in her chair.

“No, I’m sorry,” Kaidan keeps his voice low, on account of his guest and Liara still waking up. “I should’ve contacted you at a better time.”

“Please Kaidan, you know the time means nothing to me,” Liara says dismissively. “It sounds urgent. How can I help you?”

Kaidan pauses, suddenly uncertain.

After Shepard’s death, the entire crew was devastated, despite how familiar with death they had all become. The loss of their Commander, their leader, their bestfriend who beat impossible odds over and over, left the Normandy’s crew reeling. But Kaidan knows the bond Liara and Shepard had shared was special. From the very moment they met, Liara had been intrigued by Shepard. It probably began as some by-product of her obsession with anything remotely related to the Protheans, but Kaidan watched those feelings mature. With jealousy, at first.

But then he watched Liara’s mother die, with a comforting hand on the crying Asari’s shoulder. He and Liara trained their biotics together in the Normandy. They lost Shepard, got her back, and lost her again.

Along the way, Kaidan developed a deep respect for Liara. In many ways they’re similar. They hold the deepest regrets in being absent when Shepard arguably needed them most. And Liara had loved Shepard. Kaidan could understand that, could respect that.

He remembers the night after the funeral ceremony for Shepard. They had just buried an empty casket, not even dog tags were found. Liara had approached him with a small box in her hand.

“Kaidan.” Her eyes are red from crying, though she had remained completely stoic during the ceremony. Kaidan fears she would burst into tears again as she lifts a metal box in shaking hands.

“This… It holds some of Shepards precious moments in it. I made it, in case… in case we failed. I thought you should have it.” A glowing hologram of Shepard appears above, casting a blue glow on Kaidan and Liara as they watch their Shepard smile.

Kaidan reluctantly lifts his eyes to Liara, who watches the hologram with a tight lipped, pained expression. Her fingers grip the edges of the container, fearing its departure as Kaidan reaches his hand out. But Kaidan doesn’t take it. He gently pushes the device to Liara’s chest. She looks up in bewilderment.

“Keep it.” He says softly, voice hoarse from the despair that follows him.

“Kaidan-” Liara starts.

“Keep it. I have plenty to remember Shepard by.” Her many objects haunt him. He has no use for much of it but he can’t throw a single thing away.

“But… She was your partner,” Liara looks at him with eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “It only makes sense that you would keep these.”

“Liara,” he puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder, trying to convey the depth of his understanding with his eyes. “You were important to her too. You deserve to have that. I know how much she meant to you.”

Liara’s expression slips into a blank stare, completely unexpecting that response. Her eyes fall once more to the hologram of Shepard, and her slight, easygoing smile.

“I loved her.” Liara’s voice was softer than a whisper. As those words leave her mouth, her chin trembles and hot tears begin to pour out. Her face slowly collapses on itself. Kaidan can feel his own tears rise up, though he thought he had exhausted them. He pulls Liara into a hug, Shepard’s image still casting a glow between them.

“Kaidan, I loved her,” Liara sobs.

“I know,” Kaidan whispers. “Me too.”

“Kaidan.” Liara’s voice snaps him out of his memories. She smiles gently at him, as if she knows had been relieving a dark memory.

“Sorry,” Kaidan chuckles half-heartedly, devoid of any humor. “I called because I have a complicated situation on my end.” Liara’s eyebrows raise in question.

“I recently stumbled into someone who could potentially be a clone of Shepard’s,” Liara’s eyes narrow at that. “I’ll find out soon, but someone attacked us yesterday and I was wondering if you could find any additional information on the people who did it or their motives.”

“Of course. By the Goddess, peace never lasts long,” Liara begins to type something on a nearby computer. “Send me any relevant information you have and I’ll let you know when I find something.”

“Thanks. I’m going to talk to Wren, uh, the potential clone about the situation more in depth and I'll update you once I have.” Liara nods, focused on her new task, though Kaidan thinks she should probably sleep first.

“Liara.” She hums in acknowledgment, eyes never leaving her screen.

“Take care of yourself,” Kaidan says with a tone that draws Liara’s attention. They never spoke about that night following Shepard’s funeral ceremony, but Kaidan worries about it often, especially with how isolating being the Shadow Broker seems to be. Liara stares at him for a moment and, to Kaidan’s great relief, gives him a smile that seems warm and genuine and holds the promise of healing. It seems Liara would be okay. A comforting thought, since Kaidan knows she would live beyond many of them.

“You too, Kaidan. Rest.” Liara turns away towards a terminal beyond the camera and the feed cuts, throwing Kaidan’s living room back into darkness. He drops his arm to his side with a heavy sigh, feeling ready to pass out for the second time today. Wren was still in the shower, perhaps he there was enough time to sleep for a bit… And with that, he fades into a dreamless sleep.

01:15 CST, 7 Days Until the Memorial

Kaidan wakes slowly with an ache in his neck. A soft groan escapes his lips as he feels the soreness of the past day's events. It doesn’t compare to the deep ache of grief he feels, on the contrary, the pain in his muscles is deeply satisfying in a way he hasn’t felt for a while. It’s been too long since he pushed himself like that. As he shifts, rolling the kink out of his neck, something slides off his shoulder.

He sits up and stares down at the thick, warm comforter now in his lap. Wren must have stripped it from the bed and put it on him last night. It should probably concern him that she got so close without waking him but all he can feel is a deep, residual warmth clinging to the soft fabric. Kaidan stands, stretching his arms and back with a few pops. Then he gathers up the comforter and approaches his bedroom door quietly. If it looks like Wren is still sleeping he’ll just leave it on the couch.

To his surprise, his bedroom door is wide open and he sees Wren curled up in his sheets and a thin throw blanket from the living room. Kaidan feels a little guilty. He keeps it cold in his apartment.

He considers it for a long moment, not wanting to cross any boundaries, but Wren did it for him so surely she wouldn’t mind him draping the comforter over her? He moves as quietly as possible, careful not to touch her as he drapes the comforter over her sleeping form. His heart nearly fails when Wren lets out a content sigh and snuggles deeper into the still warm fabric, relaxing with the tiniest of smiles. He swallows before peeling his eyes away and walking out of the room with stiff and awkward steps.

07:30 CST

Wren and Kaidan are sitting on opposite sides of the kitchen island, an awkward silence setting in. They’ve just finished eating a simple breakfast of eggs and pancakes Kaidan had cooked and there really isn't much to do except talk about the looming secrets Wren has been keeping. Kaidan taps his fingers on the table and decides to spare Wren for a few more minutes, deciding to clean the dishes instead. Apparently, removing his direct attention is just what she needed to muster the courage to start talking.

“I, uh,” Wren takes a deep breath, looking near sick with anxiety. “I am a clone.”

Kaidan stills, the cutlery in his hand momentarily forgotten. “Okay.”

“And I knew who you were before I approached you at the bar,” She adds in a small voice. Kaidan isn’t sure what he was expecting her to say but it wasn’t that. He takes a moment to collect himself, places the forks in the dishwasher.

“Why?” His voice is quiet, but he can’t hide the confusion and hurt in it. “If you really weren’t working with our attackers, why would you…” He turns around, hands still dripping soapy water into the sink. Kaidan searches for answers in Wren’s eyes, the same eyes that watch him with such deep concern. She gulps before continuing.

“Let me- let me start from the beginning. I was created by an organization, they fed me information, a lifetime's worth of artificial memories and experiences, and ran me through simulations,” Kaidan’s eyebrows furrow. “They showed me Shepard’s life, her companions, the missions, footage from the SR2, everything they could get their hands on. Classified battle reports, personal history, even the smallest preferences in food. I had to learn and mimic everything.”

Kaidan walks back over to the island and sits. He has a feeling he’ll need to.

“But, for what? To replace her, like the last clone tried to?”

Wren nods with a dejected expression. Kaidan drags his hands across his thighs, drying them with a frown that conveys just how pissed off and tired he was.

“So, what then? Why are you here?” Kaidan glares across the island. “Why did you approach me?” Kaidan’s voice strains under the intensity of his emotion. He was tired of this, the uncertainty and anger that flooded him while Wren danced around the truth. Wren drops her head, out of shame or fear Kaidan doesn’t know. But it makes him want to shake the answer out of her, no more of these games. He opens his mouth to demand answers, but Wren raises her head. Kaidan pauses when he sees her eyes, clear and determined, despite her body being tense with nerves.

“I didn’t know you’d be there that night. I’d never seen you there before. When I saw you, I knew it was you immediately. But I didn’t mean anything by it, I just… I was just curious.”

Kaidan gives her a doubtful look and she rushes to explain.

“The memories I had before waking up were about you, uh, and everyone else around Shepard. Every moment I had after waking up was just training to take her place, and of course the hardest people to fool would be-” She gestures towards Kaidan. “So I spent a lot of time thinking about you. And the Normandy’s crew. I just… I wanted to know what it would be like in person.” Wren looks away, shifting uncomfortably while Kaidan watches her and tries to make sense of all this. Kaidan runs a hand through his hair, made vaguely uncomfortable by Wren’s obvious embarrassment.

His face warms at the realization; if Wren approached him out of sheer curiosity alone, having already known him through whatever reports she was given, then perhaps she also slept with him simply because she wanted to. Which was… flattering.

Kaidan clears his throat. “So who… created you?” Kaidan hated that wording. “And who tried to kill us yesterday?” He has his suspicions on who might have cloned Shepard, they did it once so why not twice.

“Cerberus made me.” As expected, Kaidan thinks. “And now they want me back.”

Kaidan blinks. Then sits up straighter.

“What? Cerberus?” Wren nods. “They’re still functioning? They were annihilated during the last stretches of the war. I saw their leader’s dead body with my own eyes. We had reports of their bases and core personnel being killed or arrested. They’ve already reorganized?”

“They never told me much, but it sounds like they were being sheltered by some long term rich donors of Cerberus. They were probably the reason the labs and personnel had so many resources despite being headhunted by the entire galaxy.”

Kaidan rubs a hand along his tense jaw while he stares at Wren. He kind of understands why she just wanted to disappear on Omega or something. Cerberus, even in a weakened state, would be a force to reckon with. And they aren’t afraid to play dirty, as Kaidan has found out time and time again.

“Your friends?”

“Cerberus bioengineers.”

“Wren-”

“Kaidan, I know. I hate Cerberus too. But those four helped me escape. They never wanted to do anything bad in the first place, they signed on for the Lazarus project, rightfully thinking they were going to revive the universe’s savior. They never wanted to help make… a fake.”

Kaidan’s eyes soften.

“That makes sense,” He says softly, trying to ease some of the sorrow in her eyes. “It doesn’t make everything okay, but we worked with plenty of ex-cerberus to defeat the Reapers. A lot of forgiveness was extended for people who were coerced into their work or left to assist the war efforts instead. It sounds like Cerberus’s plans were a complete failure anyway. How did you escape?” Kaidan asks. The question draws a heavy sigh from Wren.

“That’s where things get complicated. None of us wanted to be there. Unlike the previous clone they made for spare parts, I wasn’t anywhere near as… ambitious. The four scientists I escaped with could tell I was as miserable as they were stuck in that lab. So they surgically removed the device that kept me under Cerberus control and escaped with me. They were already trying to plan out how they would run without getting caught by the rest of their colleagues when the Cerberus facility we were in was attacked. That’s really how we were able to make it out. The entire lab was destroyed that night in a raid by some opposing force, ex-Cerberus operatives determined to get revenge from what we know. We escaped in the chaos.”

Kaidan hums, deep in thought.

“I have a few questions.”

“Anything.”

“You said Cerberus was controlling you?” Kaidan leans forward, eyeing her with concern.

“Some form of tech they made after Cerberus conducted research on the Reapers. It wasn't full indoctrination so I didn’t suffer any of the ego loss or other negative side effects from it. It was more like a mental shock collar,” Wren says with a deep bitterness. “To keep their favorite pet in line when it mattered.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaidan says softly. Wren responds with a soft look and a shake of head.

“It’s okay. I’m okay,” Wren says quietly. The two sit in a gentle silence, a silence that acknowledges the pain they both went through, a silence that comforts. It's Wren's voice that carefully interrupts it..

“The operatives that destroyed the facility, they killed everyone and destroyed everything, equipment, documents, nothing was left. I only got out because of the other four. I’m not sure they would really call me their friend, but...” Wren’s gaze drifts, eyelashes fluttering with emotion hidden behind a neutral expression. “They’re important to me. I don’t want them to get hurt.”

“Which leads me into my next question,” Kaidan quirks in eyebrow, deep in thought. “What are the odds those same operatives are still hunting Cerberus cells? And what are the odds they’d still want to kill you?”

Wren’s face takes on a hopeless wistfulness. “Odds are, if Cerberus is active then they are. And they probably will kill me. Would, I mean. If they got the chance. Let's not give them a chance.”

“Hm. But you don’t work for Cerberus anymore. What reason would they have to care about you?” Wren looks at Kaidan as he speaks, a somberness setting into her body. It takes a moment for her to respond.

“...It’s my body,” She says quietly. “Two years ago when Shepard’s body was never found, Cerberus decided to use it as the opportunity to put their own replacement in her spot. A ‘Doll Shepard’ they could puppet around however they like, taking advantage of all the connections and favors Shepard has racked up over the past couple of years.” Kaidan listens on, disgusted by the idea of such a sham, a complete disgrace of the Commander’s legacy. “After all, she had come back from the dead once, why not twice. And my… development had already started. ‘Just in case,’ they said.” Wren rolls her eyes.

“That night, during the raid, all the other samples and data taken before and during the Lazarus Project were completely destroyed. I’m the last piece of Shepard that's left.” Something in Kaidan’s heart twists painfully. “And that’s who they need to get what they want.”

“So they intend to use you for the next clone?” He could no longer disguise his disgust. Cerberus always found a way to make him hate them more with every encounter.

Wren sighs. “They’ll tear me up and use me for parts.” A humorless laugh escapes her. “Or maybe just throw another collar on me, like a dog.” A frown slowly deepens on her face. She keeps her eyes lowered on her hands hidden under the island, but Kaidan can see the shine of tears in her eyes.

“I don’t know which one would be worse,” She says with a watery laugh. Kaidan stands. He can’t help but round the kitchen island, the desire to comfort her overpowering anything else. He doesn’t hug her like he did last night. Just simply sits near her, hopefully reassuring her with his proximity and attentive eyes.

“And that’s also the reason whatever group or organization trying to destroy Cerberus won’t let me live. If they get rid of me, they destroy Cerberus’ only way forward with their plan to use a clone of Shepard for their political gain.”

Kaidan notes how quiet Wren’s voice becomes and the hesitant gaze she now casts in Kaidan’s direction.

“I have one last question for you Wren,” Kaidan turns towards her more fully. “Why were you so reluctant to tell me all of this?”

It’s a long silence of Kaidan watching Wren pick at her nails and work up the courage to respond. When she leaves a strip of skin raw and tender, Kaidan can’t help but wince and gently lay a hand over hers. That seems to calm her enough to answer him with a voice that's soft and careful.

“I knew you would involve yourself if you found out. I didn’t want to risk everything my friends had built for themselves with an investigation, but more than that I just didn’t want this to be on you. I could see you were hurting, and with Shepard’s Memorial only a few days away... It just wasn't fair, you shouldn't have to go through all of this for someone who shouldn’t even exist,” Wren’s voice is laced with pain. “And I was scared. I know you hate Cerberus. And they made me to be their slave. A cheap knock-off product meant to steal the glory and admiration of someone who actually deserved it. Someone you had loved. I didn’t want you… to think of me like that.” Wren’s hands tremble under his but never pull away.

Was his opinion really that important to her?

“Kaidan,” She continues, drawing his attention away from her touch as she looks up at him. Her gray eyes are glassy with tears but her expression is one of earnest seriousness that catches Kaidan off guard. “I just want you to know I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me, what I did that night at the bar. I know I look like Shepard, so if that's why you slept with me I completely understand. I just want you to know, I was being sincere. I meant everything.” She waits with anxious eyes for Kaidan to speak, but he finds himself completely speechless. He wasn’t expecting the night they spent together to be a topic of discussion. What should he even say in a situation like this? What could he say?

“Oh, Okay,” He murmurs with a furrowed brow.

“...Okay,” Wren whispers back in response. She bites her lip and quickly turns away, sliding off the chair and away from Kaidan.

“I’m going to go check in with my friends,” She says over her shoulder. “Maybe I can get them to cooperate with the investigation.”

Before Kaidan can say anything else, she’s rushing away to hide in his bedroom again, leaving him to stare at her back, utterly dumbfounded. He can’t help but admire the way his shirt falls over her frame or the way she has to bunch the legs of his sweatpants in her hands to keep from tripping while she makes her hasty retreat.

As the door to his bedroom closes Kaidan drops his head to the counter, trying to think about anything except those gray eyes underneath him, glassy with tears for a completely different reason. His own heart might kill him before Cerberus gets another try at it.

Chapter Text

13:30 CST, 7 Days Until the Memorial

Kaidan throws a towel over his dripping hair, staring at the bathroom door somewhat listlessly. Sure, he was used to having his own space now, long gone were the days of shared barracks and public showers used at scheduled times. But forgetting to bring clothes with him when Wren is around was obviously a careless slip up on his part. He wraps a larger towel around his waist, resigned to his fate.

They’re both adults, it would be stupid to get worked up over something as small as this, especially since they’ve already slept together. But he’d like to at least pretend he could keep this professional, and so far he was doing a piss poor job of that. Goosebumps freckle his skin, rising in the cool, damp air. With a sigh, he opens the door.

Coincidentally, Wren walks out of his room at the same time, putting the two directly across the narrow hallway from each other. Kaidan watches Wren’s lip pull into a timid smile at the sight of him, then watches it slowly fade as her eyes drop to his chest. She seems perfectly transfixed, eyes flicking across his bare abdomen. Kaidan can practically hear her brain short circuit. After a few long seconds, Kaidan slides the towel from his head onto his shoulders, the movement shaking Wren from her stupor. Her gaze lifts back to his face.

“Uh, I figured you’d want your room,” Wren says distractedly, “For… uh, your shower, I mean, because you showered, and now you’re here, like that.” She gestures to Kaidan, her eyes lingering a bit too long on his chest. Kaidan clears his throat and Wren blinks up at him.

“Excuse me,” Kaidan says, feeling strong secondhand embarrassment but amused all the same. Wren continues to stare up at him, his meaning not quite computing. He gestures to the doorway she’s currently standing in, blocking his path.

“Oh!” Wren immediately jumps into action, quickly turning to leave the hallway and slipping on the hem of Kaidan’s oversized sweatpants she borrowed. Kaidan throws a hand out to catch her but she quickly rights herself and dodges out of sight. Shaking his head, Kaidan steps into his room.

It doesn’t take him long to get dressed. When he walks back out of the room, hair still damp, he finds Wren sitting at the kitchen island with her head in her hands. As he approaches, her head lifts and she looks at him with an expression so serious his shoulders tense with dread.

“Kaidan,” Wren says quietly. “I’m going to hand myself in to Cerberus.” Kaidan quickly closes the distance, concern clear in his expression.

“What? Wren, why would you do that?”

“At least if they kill me, I won’t die from embarrassing myself.” Her voice and expression are so stoic it takes a moment for Kaidan to realize she’s joking. He heaves a quiet laugh in surprise as Wren stands and starts walking to the door, laughing even harder as Wren calls over her shoulder.

“Goodbye cruel world. Bitter until the very end,” she sighs dramatically. Kaidan stands and follows her, still smiling. “I mean, slipping? Really? Like I needed help making a fool of myself-” Kaidan catches her hand before she can open the door and set off his security alarm.

“Wren, you are not handing yourself over to Cerberus.”

“Sorry, Kaidan,” She shakes her head sadly and pulls her hand away to reach for the door again. “There’s no other way forward for me.”

Kaidan huffs a laugh before wrapping an arm around her thighs and lifting her in the air. Wren gasps in surprise, her hands flying to Kaidan’s shoulders to balance herself. She's placed back on her stool in a fit of quiet giggles.

“Sit,” Kaidan says firmly. Wren nods with a smile so warm and sweet, Kaidan nearly melts right there. He quickly turns away, feeling a rush of guilt and self-loathing at the fondness creeping into his heart. How professional, Kaidan thinks with a frown.

“Did you ever hear back from your friends?” Kaidan asks as he walks around the kitchen island to the fridge and pulls out a pitcher of water. He slides her a glass a moment later before sitting across from her with his own.

“Yeah,” Wren says with obvious relief in her voice. “I was able to talk to them over an encrypted channel. Seems like they’re all okay. One of them asked separately if we could meet though. She said it was urgent but wouldn’t talk about it even with the encryption. It must be related to Cerberus or this other group.” Wren’s expression falls into a worried frown. “I hope she’s okay.”

“We’ll do what we can,” Kaidan says softly. He knows all too well how Wren must feel right now, so far away from the people she wants to protect. A feeling the whole galaxy suffered through during the Reaper War.

“Why don’t you schedule a meeting with her?” Wren perks up at that. “If she has information that could help,” Kaidan continues. “Then we should meet her. Honestly, your friends should consider going into hiding. I could pull some strings and have them put in a protection program until we figure this out.” Wren looks at him like he’s hung the stars.

“Really? They might be hesitant at first, but I know I could convince them! I mean, it's coming from you.”

“What makes you so sure they’ll trust me?” Kaidan asks, skeptical of Wren’s certainty.

“Well, they quit their jobs and gave up everything to work with Cerberus, all because they believed in Shepard, and she believed in you. As questionable as they may seem because of their time with Cerberus, they’re good people at their core. And I think they’ll recognize that you are too.” Wren says softly. Tender emotions on clear display in her expression. Its a strange, gut-wrenching feeling, seeing an expression so familiar yet so far from what he once knew. A reminder of the pain lurking in the past, but maybe a warmer, gentler feeling as well...

Regardless, Kaidan appreciates the obvious trust Wren seems to have placed in him, even if he doesn't understand yet. For their sake, he hopes these ex-Cerberus scientists can do the same.

“Great,” Kaidan clears his throat. “I’ll get everything prepared just in case then. How about you tell me more about who we’ll be meeting?”

“Of course. Dr. Li Wang. She and the other three joined Cerberus together, they worked in the same bio lab beforehand so they’ve been friends for a while.” Wren continues on, giving as detailed a description as she can and answering any of Kaidan’s questions. As he listens to all of this, Kaidan can’t help but note with a raised eyebrow how open and animated Wren really is when sharing things with him. Now that her big secret is out it seems all of the smoke and mirrors are a thing of the past as well. The moody, secretive personality he was getting used to from Wren turns bright again. Energetic, direct, and honestly, a little goofy. He can’t figure her out.

14:10 CST, 6 Days Until the Memorial

Kaidan glances down at his omnitool. Both Liara and Tali have sent attachments into the group chat Garrus titled: [Just Like Old Times]

“Did they find something?” Wren asks quietly, leaning over the café table. Kaidan glances up at her, his response dying as he snorts, trying not to laugh for the third time today. She looks at him with a deadpan expression, though her serious expression is betrayed by the twitch of her lips.

“Sorry,” Kaidan raises his hands apologetically. “It's just… That disguise.”

Wren had raised some concerns about walking around the Citadel looking like she did. Forget Cerberus noticing her, with Shepard’s memorial just around the corner and her appearance, she was just as likely to draw a crowd of random bystanders. She had only dared to go out the night she met Kaidan because it was a club. Much to her delight, Kaidan had quickly agreed and let her order supplies on delivery. It was a good idea to cover all their bases. But nothing could have prepared him for Wren’s appearance when she emerged from the bathroom.

She had dyed her buzzcut a very natural looking brown and wore a thick jacket that Kaidan could only assume was popular Citadel fashion. It did a good job of hiding her form. Kaidan would’ve stopped there but Wren had other plans.

“What's wrong with my disguise, Kaidan? Huh?” Wren raises a brow and strokes the fake mustache stuck to her face. Kaidan shakes his head, squeezing the bridge of his nose as he tries to regain his composure.

“Can I just ask what inspired the…” He gestures to her face.

“Well… I watched some old vids in my abundant spare time after we escaped the facility. It was part of my ‘rehabilitation.’” Wren says with finger quotes. “I think the others were just bored sitting around while we were in hiding. But if I learned anything it's that a disguise needs either a huge pair of sunglasses or fake facial hair, and it would be weird to wear sunglasses on the Citadel, so…”

“Okay, you know what? Sure.” Kaidan shakes his head before returning to Wren’s earlier question. “Seems like Liara and Tali found a couple of leads on where they might be hiding. Mostly storage facilities and old hangars that were used for refugees back during the war. Still a lot of missing oversight in certain areas of the Citadel, though it's concerning they were able to get around security regardless.”

“I’m sure they have connections somewhere on the Citadel. Or they could just bribe C-Sec?”

Kaidan hums thoughtfully. Before they can continue this line of conversation, Wren taps his shoulder.

“That's Dr. Wang, down the hall in the purple and gold dress.” Wren says under her breath, discreetly nodding in the woman’s direction. She’s still a good distance from the cafe, but Kaidan spots her easily in the crowd. Dr. Wang is obviously nervous about something, she looks around every few seconds, Kaidan notes.

“She looks on edge. Is someone following her?” Wren whispers, voicing Kaidan’s own concern.

The answer quickly becomes apparent.

A group of three individuals walk up to her, towering over the Doctor. They seem to share a very tense few words before one of them grabs Dr. Wang by the arm, a thick hand crushing a much smaller arm. Wren hurries to stand but Kaidan catches her arm.

“Wait.” Kaidan says quietly. Wren reluctantly eases back into her chair, tense with anger and that same hardened determination that Kaidan saw back in the apartment building. The fact that the Doctor never once looks at the café or gives any indication that they were sitting nearby doesn't go unappreciated by Kaidan as he watches the interaction. When the doctor and her assailants start walking away, Kaidan stands. Wren is quick to follow, ripping off the fake mustache and eyeing the kidnappers with fire in her eyes.

“Let's follow them.”

Wren nods in agreement.

Chapter Text

00:18 CST, 5 Days Until the Memorial

“How is she holding up?” Liara’s voice softly filters into the room over vid on Kaidan’s omnitool. Kaidan shakes his head and takes a few more steps away from his bedroom where Wren has hidden herself once again.

“Not well,” Kaidan responds with a lowered voice. “She’s been quiet since we came back.”

“I can relate to how she is feeling,” Liara says carefully, giving Kaidan the distinct impression there was a story behind her words. “But you did the right thing. Following them into their hideout so ill-prepared would only put you two, and the doctor, in danger.” Kaidan nods along but the frown doesn’t leave his face.

“I know. But if I saw my friend getting dragged into a Cerberus base I don’t think I’d be able to stand off to the side.”

“No… I doubt I could either.” The two share a solemn moment of silence. “Still, they proposed an exchange for the doctor. If they think they can convince Wren to turn herself in in return for Dr. Wang’s release, we have time.”

Kaidan sighs, dragging a hand through his hair.

“Maybe. But we can’t guarantee Cerberus won’t harm her while she’s in their custody.” Deception and murder probably isn’t worth a second thought for a terrorist organization that nearly lost the galaxy the Reaper War. Kaidan may have kept Wren and himself safe, but only at Dr. Wang’s expense. Strategically, he knows it was the right decision. They’d regroup with the rest of the team, prepare to attack the base he and Wren found by following the small group, and hit them when they least expected it.

But still, it felt selfish. Kaidan’s heart kicks up a beat thinking about that moment Wren stepped around the corner they had hid behind. The Cerberus hideout was deep in the lower wards, an old rundown storage warehouse they likely reinforced on the inside. Seeing them pull Dr. Wang into the facility had nearly sent Wren running after them. No weapons. No cover. No concern for her own life. Only someone to save and an enemy in her way.

And Kaidan left safely behind with another empty coffin.

“Kaidan,” He breaks from his thoughts with a shiver before looking back at Liara.
“Perhaps you should speak with her, now that we’ve decided on a plan.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan sighs, glancing at his door. “…yeah.”

Liara unceremoniously drops their call, leaving him alone with the darkness and his thoughts. The only light in his apartment is a dim lamp in his room, its warm glow sneaking under the door to meet him. Two years of deep, intimate grief have made the solitude of darkness more comfortable than companionship and bright days. He stands motionless for a long moment, the feeling of sinking more natural than facing the light.

But Wren is on the other side of that door, hurting on her own. He shakes himself out of his stupor with a self disparaging huff and picks his way across the apartment, using that soft glow to guide him.

Kaidan approaches gingerly, knocking softly on the door before pushing it open. Wren lifts her head to glance at him briefly before pushing herself up from her side into a sitting position. Her head falls to stare at her hands. Kaidan wants to face her directly for this so he kneels in front of her instead of sitting by her.

“How are you,” Kaidan asks with a voice that makes it obvious he isn’t expecting it to be good. Wren lifts her gaze to meet his with an expression of pain that rips a new hole in his heart. Instinctively, he reaches out a hand to cover one of hers comfortingly. Wren’s expression softens slightly at the gesture, some of the tension dropping from her shoulders.

“Kaidan,” she starts in a quiet voice. “She was right there.” Her voice is drenched in regret.

“I’m sorry,” Kaidan murmurs earnestly. “I should’ve prioritized her rescue over gathering more intel.” Honestly, he doesn’t know how much better it would’ve been if they had rushed to her rescue as soon as they saw Dr. Wang confronted by the Cerberus operatives. As a biotic, Kaidan would always have some armor, a weapon. But he knows how easy it would be for them to dispose of Li Wang, even if they couldn’t overpower Kaidan and Wren. Not to mention the hundreds of innocent bystanders moving about outside of the cafe. Hostage rescue is always far too complicated.

“No, no, I guess… I just don’t like this. If I ask for proof of her safety they’ll probably comply. They’re really after me so she’ll probably be okay. Until the time proposed for the hostage exchange at least.” Wren’s voice wavers. “And now we know the exact location of their base too.” Kaidan’s heart aches. It almost sounds like she’s trying to reassure him.

“Right,” Kaidan agrees softly. “I spoke with a few people. C-Sec has the other scientists in their protection, I called in a favor with someone Shepard and I worked with a lot in the past. We can trust him to take care of them,” Kaidan reassures when he sees Wren’s suspicion of C-Sec.

“Okay,” Wren sighs. “But what about Li? Even if I hand myself over I doubt she’ll just be let go.”

“You aren’t turning yourself over to Cerberus, Wren. We have a plan. Tali, Garrus and I are going to sneak into the facility and locate the Doctor. We'll secure her, Tali will attack their tech, and Garrus will set off breach charges across the facility. It'll give us enough time to escort Dr. Wang out.” If we get lucky, we’ll have enough time to dispose of the entire Cerberus cell, Kaidan thinks, really hoping this is the case.

Wren nods along with this plan for a moment, but a small frown settles on her lips.

“What about me?” She asks quietly.

“Wren… you shouldn’t come with us.”

“What, why not? I can fight, you know I can fight. She’s my friend, this is my fault. I have to go!” The distress in her voice is evident. But she quiets when Kaidan squeezes her hand, looking into her eyes from where he kneels in front of her.

“Wren, I promised I would protect you,” Kaidan says, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles on the back of her hand. “So let me,” he insists softly.

Wren bites her lower lip, the conflict in her mind showing through her eyes. But it slowly dissipates as she holds Kaidan's gaze. The tiniest nod of assent from Wren puts a relieved smile on his face. It’s weak and doesn’t last but Wren smiles back, eyes flickering down to his lips. It’s enough for Kaidan. He’s about to pull away but freezes when Wren leans over him.

Wren is about to kiss him, he realizes.

There are a hundred well thought out reasons he shouldn’t let this happen, no doubt Kaidan could think of a hundred more. Except he isn't thinking. He can’t. His heart races with fear and longing, but his body doesn’t budge an inch during Wren’s almost painfully slow approach.

When her lips find his they're impossibly soft, the touch so familiar to Kaidan, yet the emotions conveyed through them are so uniquely tender. The kiss is short and chaste, and elicits a series of frighteningly intense emotions from Kaidan. He wants more. More of her, right here on his bed. The guilt and self loathing that accompany his desire makes him want to kill himself. Neither are appropriate responses for the situation so he stares up at Wren with wide eyes as she pulls away, still frozen in his mind.

The silence drags on as they stare at each other, Wren’s eyebrows furrowing in uncertainty.

“Kaidan?” She whispers, hurt already edging into her tone.

“Wren…” Kaidan starts, unsure of what to say. He doesn’t even know how he wants this to end. “I, why did you…” Wren’s face scrunches up in a grimace.

“I thought I made it clear,” she says quietly. “When I said I was being sincere. About that night.”

“No… you did, but…” Kaidan can’t keep doing this to her. Ignoring his glaring deficiencies and letting Wren believe she could be happy with him. That he could be happy with anyone.

“Wren, I’m still in love with Shepard,” Kaidan says. It’s quiet but sincere. Apologetic. A flash of hurt crosses Wren’s face.

“I know that,” she says, lower lip trembling. “But, you- I just thought…” She glances at their hands and Kaidan immediately pulls his away, letting it fall to his side. Tears pour over her cheeks as she blinks rapidly, watching him draw back. Kaidan can’t help but feel like the vilest piece of garbage when Wren is this surprised by his rejection. The confusion and pain are clear in her voice when she speaks.

“Why? Why are you- why do you care so much then? Why are you doing all this? Why did you-” she cuts herself off with a shaky intake of breath, biting down hard on her lip.

“Wren, just because…” I don’t like you? I don’t want you? Are either of those statements even true? “I just don’t want to see you hurt,” Kaidan settles on.

“Because I look like Shepard?” Wren asks weakly.

It isn’t the full truth, but Kaidan can’t deny that Wren’s appearance was the cause of his immediate and intense attraction. Why he wanted to keep her close instead of finding living arrangements As well as the main reason he couldn’t bear to leave her behind despite believing she was helping their attackers at her apartment building.

Wren muffles a sob behind her hand.

“I’m not Shepard.”

“I know,” Kaidan responds softly, voice full of sorrow. Wren breathes a few shuddering breaths before her expression hardens.

“I’m going with you.” Kaidan blinks in surprise. “I’m going with you all on the raid.”

“Wren-“

“Stop,” Wren pleads. “Just… get out.”

He knows he has no right to be so hurt by that statement, so Kaidan stands quickly to hide his darkening expression. Fuck.

Wren got hurt because of his carelessness, and now she’s insisting on putting herself in danger because of it.

Could Kaidan really keep her here against her will? Given her training it’s entirely possible she could leave regardless of what he tried. But more importantly, it was wrong to try to make her stay behind when his only reasoning was he didn’t want to see anything happen to her.

He glances over his shoulder as he slowly slips the bedroom door shut on his way out. Wren is curled up on her side under the comforter, facing away from him. He can still hear her cry though.

Fuck.

02:45 CST, 4 Days Until the Memorial

“You two look like shit,” Garrus says in greeting, earning him two glares and an exasperated sigh from Tali (Kaidan can tell she’s amused though.)

“Thanks,” Kaidan responds, too tired to put much of the sarcasm he feels into the statement.

Garrus takes a heavy bag of gear off Kaidan’s shoulder as he steps into the shuttle, punching the door controls after Wren steps in. The entire crew is already fully armored with weapons strapped to their backs and hips.

“Are you alright, Kaidan?” Liara asks, her voice crackling over the comm device in their suits as they get settled. Kaidan glances at Wren but she’s already putting her helmet on, expression hidden away from him.

“I’m good, Liara. Just a small migraine.” Kaidan says quietly. He catches Tali giving him a strange look and discretely gesturing between him and Wren before whispering something to Garrus. Wren had the right idea, Kaidan decides and puts on his helmet as well.

“If you’re sure,” Liara says directly in his helmet now. Liara quickly reiterates the plan, a hologram on the side of the shuttle detailing the warehouse’s floor plan and the team's route.

The shuttle reaches its destination at exactly 0300 hours, the team quickly filing out and making their way through the dense collection of buildings surrounding the warehouse until they reach a side vent. Tali kneels in front of it and starts making an opening without tripping any security while the rest cover her. She breaks in within a matter of seconds and the team is making their way through a large crawlspace into an unused portion of the building. Kaidan’s visor adjusts for the rooms lighting automatically, night vision and infrared technology kicking on in their helmets so the team can move in complete darkness.

They make their way through empty rooms and halls towards the center of the warehouse, guns flashing around corners as they quickly clear each room. It isn’t long before they reach a large sealed door, so heavily reinforced that Kaidan is certain this is where the Cerberus cell is set up.

“I can overload the circuits from here, but they probably have a backup generator.” Tali says as she works the door open. “We won’t have much time, maybe 30 seconds to a minute.”

“That’s not a lot of time,” Wren murmurs, speaking for the first time tonight.

“It just needs to be long enough to get you three in the door unseen,” Garrus responds quietly as he sets a charge by the door. Easier to run through a hole in the wall then hack the door again if they were being chased out. Wren nods, taking a deep breath in preparation as Tali’s program runs.

“Ready?” Tali asks. She gets three affirmatives before she executes a command on her omnitool, simultaneously frying the entire warehouse’s circuitry and opening the heavy door with an electric pop.

Tali, Wren, and Kaidan run through the door and close it behind them, Garrus splits off to retrace their steps and plant more charges on the outside of the building while Cerberus is preoccupied with the outage.

Proceeding quickly through the dimly lit halls, Kaidan can already hear a clamber of activity as the backup generator kicks on the auxiliary lights. The warehouse isn’t nearly as large as the previous facilities Kaidan has chased Cerberus agents through so it’s no wonder they stumble on a group so quickly. Hiding behind a heavy shipping container, Kaidan motions for Tali and Wren to freeze while he listens in on their conversation.

“It’s probably nothing, this building is as old as the fucking sun,” the Cerberus agent speaking kicks an old pile of trash to emphasize his point.

“This is why everyone calls you an NPC, you dumb fuck. Critical thinking skills of an oversized jellyfish,” another agent responds. “Obviously someone’s trying to break in. They’re probably here for the hostage.”

“We can’t confirm anything yet,” a third agent chimes in. He must be their senior as the other two stop arguing as soon as he speaks. “You three, go check on the hostage. Make sure Team A has enough people and supplies then report back. The rest of you, on me.”

“Yes, sir!” The group of Cerberus members split up. Kaidan waits for the larger group to exit before gesturing to Wren and Tali to follow him down the path the other three took.

Kaidan is grateful for the three agents' constant conversation along the way. Sure, he, Tali, and Wren are well versed in combat in some capacity or another, but they aren’t Kasumi. Or Thane. Thankfully, the voices of the Cerberus agents carry much further than the sound of their boots.

“You really think the clone would break into a Cerberus hideout for some bitch? I’d split the second I got that message,” the first one from before asks loudly.

The agent beside him shrugs. “Reports say the clone was defective from the beginning. Too emotional, easily distracted, lacked task focus. Biggest disappointment of the Lazarus Project, I’ve heard.”

“Heard some big brass complaining about the clone Commander Shepard killed a couple of years ago. They said it was a waste they hadn’t kept that one instead,” the third agent adds.

“What’s that got to do with the hostage though?”

“You really are a dumb fuck.” One of the agents gets shoved by the first as the other laughs.

“We’re saying it’s stupid enough to try and get the doctor back, it’s got a track record,” one of them laughs.

Kaidan is no longer grateful for their incessant chatter. He considers putting a bullet in each of their spines right now but they reach their destination before he can think through the logistics of dropping these assholes where they stand.

An agent punches in a few digits into a keypad and the door slides open. They’re immediately greeted by a Cerberus Guardian, that annoying shield at their side a clear indication they were prepared for an attack.

It’s quiet, but Kaidan hears a sharp gasp from Wren over the comms, prompting him to look further into the room. Sure enough, Dr. Wang is lying on the ground with her hands cuffed behind her, fast asleep. Kaidan types out a message on his omnitool.

[Dr. Wang spotted. Status on charges?]

[Charges ready to blow] Garrus responds.

Liara gives them a short countdown, the only one able to speak without alerting enemies of their position. Kaidan readies his rifle at his shoulder and feels that soft hum in the back of his skull as he wakes his biotics. He hears Tali and Wren quietly ready themselves to make a mad dash through that door. Getting to Dr. Wang was the biggest priority. They could fight their way out after she was safe.

“3…2…1…Go.” The charges detonate, shaking the entire warehouse and leaving the lights overhead flickering. By the time Cerberus agents inside of the room stop looking overhead in fear of the building collapsing on them, Kaidan is already halfway to the doctor, three dead Cerberus operatives outside the door and another sliding across the floor without his shield.

“Go for the optics, Chatika!” Tali yells, right before her drone zaps a Cerberus operative and Tali fires her shotgun into his chest.

She dives behind cover as a Guardian approaches her with his shield raised. Wren earns a breathless “Keelah” after she dumps a thermal clip expertly between the gap in the Guardians shield, every shot finding the same spot on their helmet until they drop limply to the floor.

Kaidan joins them behind cover a moment later dragging Dr. Wang who was now very awake.

“Excuse me,” Kaidan says politely before cutting through her cuffs with an Omni-blade and ungagging her. He then shoves a protective vest over her head, a quiet buzz emitting from it as it forms shielding around Dr. Wang.

It certainly isn’t Specter, or even Alliance grade, shielding but she won’t die if a stray shot glances her.

“Li! Stay close, okay?” Wren calls out as she hurls a grenade over the shipping container they hid behind.

“Wren,” the doctor sobs in relief after hearing her voice.

“We got the doctor, let's go,” Kaidan yells, providing cover for the others to run out the door. They tear down the halls, slowed only by Dr. Wang’s pace and the occasional team of Cerberus members. Based on what Kaidan has seen, they don’t have anywhere near enough people to stop their escape.

“Head’s up everyone,” Liara warns in their helmets. “I’m picking up activity outside of the facility, expect reinforcements ahead.”

“Of course.” Kaidan isn’t a superstitious man, but these past few days were testing his limits. At this point, it would make more sense if he actually was cursed.

The team rounds the corner back into the large docking area they had followed the chatterbox agents from, the remaining Cerberus agents already waiting behind cover along the far wall.
Wren pushes Li towards the next door, returning fire from her position while Kaidan and Tali push forward.

Kaidan is about to use his biotics to lift someone out of cover when the entire wall behind the line of Cerberus agents explodes into a cloud of metal shrapnel and smoke.

“Keelah! Garrus, what are you doing with those explosives?” Tali yells, ducking behind a shipping container as a stray piece of metal flies over her head.

“Not my explosives!” Garrus warns.

The closest to the exit, Kaidan sees Dr. Wang crawl through the door towards their escape route even with all the dust in the area. With her out of the room, he turns his attention back to the collapsing wall, squinting as he sees a figure in chrome black armor standing over a Cerberus operative. The glow of an omni-blade cuts through dust. Then it plunges straight through the chest of the Cerberus agent. Kaidan’s stomach drops.

“Those are not Cerberus reinforcements!” He yells over comms, trying to get a grasp on the situation.

The shot of a sniper rifle resounds through the air.

“Garrus?” Tali calls out nervously.

“Not. My. Rifle!” He warns again, likely sprinting based on the sound of his voice.

Kaidan hears what he can only describe as gurgling in his helmet. His head whips around as his heart beats out of his chest.

“Wren! Sitrep!”

No response.

He takes off towards the last place he saw her, diving for cover as he sees the glare of a laser. Another booming shot leaves a hole through the floor behind him, but the sniper barely slows Kaidan’s advance.

He closes the distance enough to see two silhouettes, their outlines becoming clearer as the dust settles. Wren, bleeding out on the ground from a gaping hole in her right shoulder, limply flailing against her aggressor, her assault rifle scattered in pieces around her. Another woman in a set of skin tight, full chrome black armor, shimmers with biotics as they crush a heeled boot against Wren’s clavicle. Her biotics flare as she drives her boot deeper. Kaidan’s vision tunnels on the scene, the only thing he hears is the sound of cracking armor, snapping bones, and that same nightmare inducing sound of choking.

Wren goes limp.

“NO!” Kaidan’s biotics flare to life.

Chapter Text

Kaidan puts all of his force into a biotic throw, sending the attacker flying away from Wren’s body. A barrier enshrouds her as she rolls, landing in a crouch with a SMG drawn. They dodge to the side as Kaidan fires his assault rifle at them. Despite his assault, the woman aims for Wren again, and Kaidan has no choice but to quickly close the distance.

With a thrust of his omni-blade, Kaidan cuts straight through the SMG aimed at Wren, but the woman dodges back before it reaches her, using her momentum to swing into a roundhouse kick that sends his rifle skidding across the warehouse floor.

Kaidan is painfully aware that Wren needs immediate medical attention, the kind that field-grade medi-gel can’t replace. He’s also aware that he can’t afford to let up his offensive at all, this woman would take any ground he gives.

Kaidan rushes forward, throwing a fist that's expertly dodged, quickly finding that he’s at a distinct disadvantage in hand to hand combat despite their size difference. Her technique is flawless and strengthened by her biotics, perfectly mastered like she was trained her whole life. Kaidan takes a particularly sharp blow across the head that sends his ears ringing and the sharp pain of a migraine through his skull.

“Liara,” he grunts, blocking a kick. “Need some help here.” The woman he’s fighting pauses abruptly, long enough for him to strike her with an elbow that sends her stumbling.

“The others are still preoccupied, hang in there a little longer Kaidan.”

Kaidan sighs as the woman rights herself, her biotics rippling the air around her.

“I’m getting too old for this,” He mutters. Committed to ending this as quickly as possible, Kaidan readies his biotics, disregarding the feeling of an ice pick through his skull as his migraine worsens.

The two charge each other, biotic attacks lashing out as they clash. The feeling of a warp rips across Kaidan’s barrier as he’s attacking with a reave. The biotic forces tear and burst against their barriers, mass effect fields crashing volatilely against each other.

A warp and a reave in close proximity.

“Shit,” The two say at the same time. Then a biotic explosion blasts them in opposite directions.

Kaidan rolls to a stop near Wren, armor smoking, and aching in every joint, bone and muscle in his body. His barrier was strengthened by his reave so he’s mostly unharmed, but for the stinging sensation of having just been blown up. Funnily, he has felt worse.

Kaidan rips off his helmet, the visor clouded with smoking residue. The crazy biotic assassin is still groaning on the ground, so he uses this time to administer medi-gel to Wren then himself.

“Stay with me,” Kaidan murmurs, mostly to himself. Giving first aid, he realizes with a shock that Wren has been conscious this whole time. Unfocused eyes track his face behind the tinted visor of Wren’s helmet. Good to know she‘s alive, but the pain she must be in…

“Hang on Wren, we’ll get you out of here,” he soothes. He raises his gaze, glaring at the one who did this. Kaidan draws his sidearm and aims it at the stranger, enshrouding both Wren and himself in another barrier.

“Don’t move.”

“Step away from the clone, Kaidan,” the woman in all black says, a heavy pistol of her own aimed at him. His eyebrows furrow when he hears his name. Does she know him?

“No, you step away,” a beat up and worn down Tali says, aiming her shotgun at the mysterious figure. Kaidan’s eyes flick to the sound of a reloading heat sink as another operator in a set of black armor limps to the scene. They’re clutching their side and lean heavily against a shipping container to stand, but they find the strength to point their pistol at Tali.

A stand off.

A tense silence grips everyone there.

Then a red dot lands on the mystery woman’s head.

“Checkmate,” Garrus yells from his perch. The sniper from earlier lays unconscious on the ground. “Drop your weapons. Now.”

The woman raises her hands in surrender, but her pistol stays in her hand.

“Wait,” she says, slowly using her free hand to peel back her helmet. Black hair cascades perfectly across her shoulders, an ebony that matches the color and shine of her armor. A familiar face.

“Keelah,” Tali gasps. The red dot shifts minutely, like Garrus flinched in surprise, but stays aimed at her head. Kaidan remembers this person, though he only really met her once.

“Miranda,” he says through gritted teeth. “I thought you worked for the good guys now?”

“The same could be said about you,” Miranda says with a cool confidence despite the laser on her head. “I thought you hated Cerberus. Vehemently, if I recall my conversations with the Commander. Why are you stopping me?”

“Wren isn’t part of Cerberus.” Kaidan’s eyes narrow.

“Please,” Miranda scoffs. “I was there on Horizon when you reunited with the Commander, you didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt so why start with this counterfeit?” She’s certainly less friendly now than the last time Kaidan saw her, though they did just spend the last few minutes trying to kill each other.

“Why are you here, Miranda?” Kaidan sighs, putting the nasty left hook she gave him aside.

This woman may have worked for Cerberus, justly earning his suspicion. But Shepard had trusted her with her life, and they’d obviously been close since Shepard was so involved in Miranda’s family life. He doesn’t know all of the details but Kaidan had been there when they rescued Miranda and Orianna from their father. He doesn’t want to fight with someone Shepard cared so much about.

“I’m here to kill the clone.”

Kaidan doesn’t want to fight… But he will.

“Leave, Miranda,” he says with a darkening expression. Miranda gives him a hard stare before sighing. Her shoulders fall and some of the invincible demeanor falls away, revealing a piece of that vulnerability that Shepard was privy to.

“Kaidan, please, this is important.”

“Miranda, I don’t want to do this with you. Walk away.”

“I can’t—“

“You can-“

“No, you don’t understand,” Miranda’s gaze drops to Wren, narrowing in icy judgment. “This was Shepard’s last wish, the only thing she’s personally asked me for.”

“What?” Tali gasps, her shotgun lowering to her side. The red dot on her forehead disappears as well. Kaidan can’t blame them either. His pistol lowers to his side as he waits for her next words with bated breath.

“Shepard asked me to destroy anything that had to do with the Lazarus Project. That includes clones, samples, data, all of it. Before she…” Miranda pauses and Kaidan can feel the pain fill the gap in her words. They all feel its sting.
“Before the final push on earth, she asked me, made me promise, if we won I would eradicate any trace of the project from this galaxy.”

“No, why?” Tali asks, tearing up. “What if we had found her body, we could’ve…” She trails off under Miranda’s sad gaze.

“I don’t know why she made the decision. I can only imagine,” Miranda looks back to Kaidan, determined to somehow convince him. “But this is what Shepard wanted. To protect her legacy. To protect her peace. She deserves that, more than anyone in this galaxy.”

Kaidan can’t agree more, and he feels the weight of that sentiment crush him. He can’t look at Wren.

“Please, Kaidan,” Miranda pleads. “I don’t want to fight you either. You least of all. Let me take the clone. Let me end this, for Shepard.”

Kaidan glances at Tali and sees her looking at him. Waiting.

Garrus and Tali would let Miranda take Wren, Kaidan realizes. They had built a lasting bond leading up to their suicide mission on the Collector base, a trust that endured up to now. Tali and Garrus may not be buddy-buddy with Miranda, but the three hold a respect for each other that comes from diving through hell with only your comrades' guns to cover your back. Moreover, they’d been by Shepard’s side through everything, there’s nothing they wouldn’t do for her.

Right now, Tali and Garrus were deferring to his decision. But would they change their minds later? Or resent him if he asked them to go against Shepard’s dying wish?

He promised to never doubt Shepard again, that day he had rejoined Normandy’s team after Udina’s death. Would he go back on his word for a near stranger?

All eyes are on him. Wren, or Shepard?

A featherlight touch brushes against his knee. Wren’s fingers twitch against his armor, too weak to do anything else. But it draws his attention. He looks down and meets Wren’s eyes. She looks up at him, tears pooling and falling from silver eyes.

The image strikes a chord in him, shaking the dust off a memory he had packed away in the back of his mind.

“Damnit, sorry,” Shepard angrily swipes at her eyes, trying to erase any evidence of tears.

“Hey,” Kaidan says softly, pulling her hand away from her face, intertwining his fingers with hers and using his other arm to pull Shepard to his chest. “It’s okay, love. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.” Her voice is defensive but it doesn’t bother Kaidan any, he simply scoffs in disbelief. It’s not judgemental, just a soft acknowledgment that they both know there’s more to the story. It takes a minute or two of gentle comfort from Kaidan, bare skin on bare skin and his calloused hand running up and down her back, but she slowly unravels.

“I was just thinking about some decisions I’ve made,” she says cryptically. “Nothing worth crying over.” Kaidan hums in understanding.

“The genophage cure?” He guesses, correctly. Shepard grunts.

“Yeah. You sure the eezo didn’t give you telepathy in addition to your biotics?”

“Think I’d have a few more medals if I could read Admiral Hackett’s mind,” Kaidan chuckles. Shepard snorts.

“Reading Hackett’s mind sounds horrifying.” Kaidan quickly nods in agreement and the two share a light laugh. Shepard snuggles deeper into Kaidan’s embrace with a sigh before speaking quietly into his chest.

“What do you think? Did I do the right thing?”

Kaidan never wants to give Shepard a flippant answer, so he takes a moment to think about it, trailing his fingers along the muscles in her back.

“It was a difficult situation, I wouldn’t fault you regardless of how you handled it,” Kaidan says carefully. Shepard pulls out of his embrace to straddle his hips, pressing him into the bed with two hands on his chest.

“But do you think I did the right thing?” Shepard demands, staring at him with eyes like molten metal.

Kaidan rests his hands on her thighs, and thinks. Given all the variables it's hard to say if there was a right answer, but…

“Yeah,” he says softly with a smile, pride evident in his voice. “I do.”

Shepard searches his eyes for a moment, trying to detect any falsehood or hesitation. Finding none, she smiles down at him before cradling the sides of his face and dropping to kiss him enthusiastically. He laughs as she pulls away.

“Does my opinion mean that much to you?” Shepard rolls her eyes.

“Of course. I wouldn’t be sitting on you naked in my bed if not.”

“Here I thought it was because of my dashingly good looks.” Kaidan’s voice drops an octave, trying to lure Shepard back into his orbit before some planet ending event steals her away again.

“You might be kind of okay looking,” Shepard teases, leaning in like a predator over their prey.

“That's high praise, coming from you,” he says with a raised eyebrow and humor in his eyes.

“I think very highly of you,” Shepard quips back. “You're intelligent, hard working, and always try to do what's right. Even if that means we butt heads sometimes or you call me a Cerberus husk.”

“Ouch, I didn’t say that exactly.” Kaidan grimaces. “But, maybe I deserved that.”

Shepard’s teasing smile turns serious, but the love in her eyes never leaves.

“You're my north star, Kaidan. My compass. You don’t just make me feel human,” she says, calling back to the words he had given her a lifetime ago. “You make me feel like a good one.”

Integrity. A commitment to the good in the world.

That’s what Shepard had loved about him. Why she had trusted him, again and again, despite the circumstances always trying to pull them apart. Why she could forgive him when he couldn’t even forgive himself.

Kaidan prays for that forgiveness, one last time.

“I-….. G-g-g…” Whatever Wren is trying to say, it’s lost to a wet cough followed by a weak sob.

He puts a hand over Wren’s and squeezes it, trying to calm her. Then he looks to meet Miranda’s eyes, expression hardened with determination.

“I won’t let you harm her.” His words fall over the group, a single sentence in a tense silence.

Then Miranda’s face contorts in anger and confusion.

“Why? No good will come from leaving the remnants of the Lazarus Project. Cerberus will continue to try to use it to their advantage.”

“We’ll deal with Cerberus then,” Kaidan grits out.

“We both know that’s a tall order, Kaidan.” Miranda takes a step forward, the grip on her pistol tightening. “Shepard asked me to see this through, she wanted this. If you really loved her-”

“Shepard is dead!” Kaidan snaps, heart hammering in time with his raging migraine. Miranda freezes. “I won’t let her memory be used against me. Not for this. Wren stays with me.” He says it loud enough so it's clear to the whole room. They’d have to put him down like a wild varren if they wanted to touch her. He’d like to see them try.

Miranda sighs, turning away to holster her gun and run a stressed hand through her hair. Kaidan doesn’t trust that this was truly over but with her back turned he relaxes somewhat. Static and a quiet voice sound from the comms in his suit.

“I’ve called C-Sec and Medical to your position,” Liara says. “They’ll be there shortly.” Kaidan can’t say how grateful he is to hear those words.

“Go, Miranda,” He says, nodding to her agents in black armor. “Take your people and get out of here, unless you want to deal with the consequences of trying to kill a specter.”

Miranda taps a heeled boot for a moment, back still turned. Then she whips around and starts addressing her agents, the ones who were still conscious, pointedly not looking in Kaidan’s direction. She pauses by a writhing Cerberus agent on her way out, putting a round through their head before making her way to her shuttle.

He can already hear the sirens when Miranda and her team fly off.

Kaidan stays by Wren’s side while Garrus talks to C-Sec and Tali drags the medical team over to them.

Wren cries the whole time. Weak and broken sobs, the sound so wretched, it nearly brings tears to Kaidan’s eyes. But he doesn’t, he simply holds her good hand in both of his, and whispers words he hopes reach her.

“It's okay. I got you Wren. I got you.”

Chapter Text

04:45 CST, 3 Days Until the Memorial

Kaidan is attempting to sleep in a waiting chair, arms draped over his eyes to block out the harsh lights above and his head resting against the wall behind him. He startles out of his migraine induced haze when someone taps their foot against his boot. Blinking, he sits up with a quiet groan as he focuses on Doctor Chakwas. He notes the painkillers have done little. But it’s manageable. For now. Doctor Chakwas quirks an eyebrow at him as she patiently waits for his full attention. Judging by the look on her face, Kaidan can tell Wren isn’t in any immediate danger, the Doctor’s face lacking any sort of somberness to it. Rather, she looked somewhat amused. Hmm, that’s bad news.

“How is she?” Kaidan asks, perhaps more guarded than he has any right or need to be.

“I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant, but she’ll be okay. I’ve never seen anyone heal so fast. Well except the Commander, of course. I suppose that’s to be expected.” Dr. Chakwas takes a step back to give Kaidan space as he sits up. He’s taller than her, but he spent the last few years of his career looking up at her, just like this. Typically while laying in a cot or hospital bed with a raging migraine and broken bone or two. But now, her white hair and deepening wrinkles inspire the same kind of protectiveness Kaidan’s own mother does, despite Dr. Chakwas usually doing all the saving in their relationship.

“What are the odds I’d see that face again, feels like a strange cosmic joke.”

“Not a very fun one,” Kaidan says offhandedly. “We’re lucky you were on the Citadel, thanks for rushing over.”

“Thanks for finally clueing me in,” she says with a look. That look. Then she turns around to take a seat across from him. “But you would’ve been fine without me. Doctor Michel runs a tight ship around here.”

“Don’t I know it,” Kaidan says with a wry smile. Dr. Chakwas responds with a small amused laugh, still proudly admiring the hospital around them. Huerta Memorial Hospital has only grown since the Reaper War ended. “Still, your medical experience with Shepard seemed valuable.” Kaidan rubs at his neck, trying to ease some of the tension that's gathered there.

“Indeed, though Wren has a far less complex set of modifications. Except for those for quick regeneration and general durability, she has next to no body modifications. Shepard probably had more in a single arm,” Dr. Chakwas says with a small chuckle. She leans back in her chair, crossing a leg over the other and threading her fingers together, resting them on her stomach as she calmly stares at Kaidan. They sit in a silence that Kaidan can tell will be short-lived. He sighs, letting his eyes close as he drops his head, still trying to work the knots out of his neck. Maybe that would ease some of this pain in his head.

“…Are you alright, Kaidan?”

Kaidan sighs. Short lived, indeed. He opens his eyes to look up and finds Dr. Chakwas analyzing him. None of the pity or hesitancy so many others view him with. Just the careful eye of a doctor still looking for damage. Karin was never afraid to poke around wounds if it meant they healed faster. Pain is the patient’s problem, Kaidan thinks with a sour smirk.

“Honestly, It's been… Hard.” He shrugs. “To, uh, say the least.”

“I don’t want the least Kaidan,” Karin insists, not unkindly.

“I…” Kaidan slides back in his chair, feeling the weight of grief and anger and confusion sliding back over him. “I don’t know.” He answers honestly. “I thought I would drop dead right there and then when Shepard was announced KIA. Don’t know what got me through the next few months. Work, probably. Anger, definitely. So much anger.” Kaidan rubs a hand across his eyes. “I was going to come to the Memorial, and then… I don’t know.”

“...Kaidan,” Dr. Chakwas’s tone is cautious. “Were you going to hurt yourself?”

“No,” Kaidan growls out, both hands scrubbing at his face now. “No, I… Maybe, I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Shepard miraculously comes back and I get her for just a few short months before she's gone again. She’s not the only one either. So many of my squadmates died in that final rush on earth, some of them had families, and then, nothing. It’s over. Shepard is gone, my friends are dead, and there's nothing to hate. Not the Reapers, or the Geth, not even Cerberus.” Anger sparks in his voice just saying that name. “Those bastards were hiding the whole time.” This whole time he could’ve been focusing on erasing their existence from the galaxy. This whole time he could’ve had purpose.

“Kaidan,” Dr. Chakwas voice is a bit softer, drawing his attention back to the present. “You need to talk to someone about this.”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” Kaidan is rewarded with an unimpressed look. He stands and stretches with a sigh. He knows he’s being deflective. He also knows it would be in his best interests to see a therapist. The problem is, he doesn’t think he deserves what's in his best interests.

“I’m fine,” Kaidan says quietly. He still has to destroy Cerberus, after all. “Is Wren awake?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Dr. Chakwas stands and watches him walk away. She knows Kaidan’s stubbornness well enough by now, is banking on it actually, so she lets the issue lie for today. “I’ll be leaving now. I need to oversee resupplies and then catch up on sleep. You know how to reach me if you need me.”

Kaidan pauses, before turning back and giving her a small smile. “Will you ever retire?”

Karin Chakwas sighs dramatically, a hand on her hip. “Someone has to look after Vegas. The boy is even more energetic after graduating from the N7 program.”

“Is that how you speak about your Commanding Officer?” Kaidan teases.

“That's how I talk about all of you,” Karin shoots back with a smirk. “Take care of yourself Kaidan. And get some sleep. Doctor’s orders.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Kaidan watches her leave, letting the elevator door slide close behind her before he turns back to Wren’s door. It opens with a muted slide. It's an isolated room for very obvious security reasons. Nicer, not unlike the one he stayed in when he was here a couple years ago. The cityscape drips in through the open blinds of the large windows that make up the back wall. Wren looks out those blinds with tired eyes, dark shadows haunting her gaze. A lightweight hospital gown sits on her frame. She looks so small, sitting there with crestfallen shoulders and bandages peeking out under the gown’s collar. Kaidan enters quietly and takes a seat in the chair next to her bed. A long moment passes before her head turns to Kaidan, half lidded, exhausted eyes already glassy with tears. They catch the first light of the morning as they slip down her face.

Kaidan’s brow furrows. He doesn’t know what to say so he lays his arm on the bed, hand open towards Wren. Her hand slides hesitantly into his, trembling. He catches hers firmly and squeezes. Their eyes meet. Kaidan watches her face crumple. Her hand tightens around his as the tears roll down in earnest now.

“Why?” Wrens asks, voice wretched and weak with tears. Kaidan’s brows furrow further and he sits on the edge of his chair, trying to solve whatever was causing these tears.

“Why what? Are you in pain?” Kaidan starts looking for a call button but Wren shakes her head, curling over his hand she now clutches against her chest. Legitimately concerned now, Kaidan moves to sit on the edge bed, his free hand coming up to circle around her protectively. It just seems to make her cry harder. Kaidan’s heart races, his brain very unhelpfully supplies him with a long list of worst case scenarios.

“Wren, please, let me help you. What’s wrong?”

“Me!” She cries out, head whipping up to look at him with a tear stained face. “Why? Why would you choose me?” Kaidan frowns.

“Wren, I promised I would protect you.” Great job of that, he did. She was sitting here in a hospital. “I’m sorry-”

“No, no, no, don’t apologize!” She looks horrified by the very thought. “This is all my fault-”

“Whoa, hang on there,” Kaidan interrupts, his tone gently admonishing. “This is not your fault. You had no control over anything that's happened so far.” She goes silent, avoiding his gaze. After a moment, she shakes her head.

“I still don’t get it. I’m not Shepard. Why would you pick me?” Kaidan’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Wren, Shepard is gone,” he says with a frown, thinking the rest is obvious enough. As much as Miranda would like this to be about Shepard, and as guilty as he felt towards his late lover in the moment, there was no scenario where he would let an innocent person die for the sake of satisfying some vague last wish. Regardless of who made the request.

Wren simply continues shaking her head in disbelief. “A dead Shepard is better than me.” Immediately, Kaidan’s face twists with a deep frown.

“Wren.” She doesn’t raise her head.

“Wren.”

“Wren,” He says a little more firmly. His free hand finds the back of her neck, bringing her closer to his own face. She looks up, blinking quickly at the sudden nearness.

“Shepard is dead, I’m not choosing between you two,” He says, quiet and sincere. “But more importantly, you deserve a chance. To live and make your own decisions, free from Cerberus’ demands or Miranda’s, or anyone else’s. Even Shepard’s.” Wren clutches Kaidan’s hand with both of hers.

“But I shouldn’t exist,” she whispers. Kaidan can see the fear and hurt as she waits for yet another to affirm this belief. As well as the spark of hope, a small, desperate plea for someone to prove her wrong.

“Wren, you’re alive. And you deserve to be. Cerberus’ plans be damned, you are not them. And I will never let them control you again.” Kaidan gently taps his forehead to Wren’s. “And you aren’t Shepard either. Your existence isn’t predicated on hers. Not anymore. Just Wren is enough. More than enough.”

Wren leans heavy into his touch, heaving a shuddering sigh. She clings to those words desperately as the room falls into silence. They have so much they still need to discuss, but it can wait. They sit there for a long time, sharing in the pain left by someone who was larger than life itself, an absence that had scarred the two to their core, albeit in very different ways.

Kaidan doesn’t know how much time passes, but Wren eventually speaks in a timid whisper.

“I know, uhm… I know you’re exhausted and you probably have a migraine,” Kaidan pulls his head back to look at her as she speaks, but Wren quickly ducks her head into his shoulder, escaping his eyes. “Stay.” She says quickly. “Please. Stay. If-if that’s okay. With, uh, with you.”

Kaidan was tired as all hell. He’d barely slept in the past day since the ambush as Wren got her caved in chest repaired. His head aches from lack of rest and pushing his biotics and he desperately needs sleep. And well, professionalism was already out the window and Wren would forgive him, surely.

“Scoot over,” he says before leaning down to unlace his boots. The bed shifts as Wren quickly moves to accommodate him. When he finally gets his boots off and starts climbing into the hospital bed Wren is looking up at him with wide eyes. He quirks an eyebrow at her.

“Always looking at me like a piece of meat,” Kaidan sighs sadly. It gets the reaction he was looking for. Wren sputters and her eyes search every corner of the room apart from him as her face begins to heat. Kaidan grins to himself as he settles in.

“I was not. At all.”

“Uh huh.”

“Kaidan,” Wren’s voice jumps an octave and rises in volume, but he just wraps an arm around her shoulders and drags her closer. Kaidan can already feel the sweet pull of sleep and his eyes close. God, laying tangled up with Wren in this tiny bed is far too comfortable. Wren goes still, feeling him slowly easing into sleep. She allows him to sink deeper, gently curling tighter against his side.

“Just me is enough,” she whispers to herself some time later.

“Mm hmm,” Kaidan hums, right before falling into a deep, deep sleep.

Chapter Text

Untangling himself from Wren and slipping out of the narrow hospital bed had been an awkward endeavor with the nurse’s reproachful gaze on him. He murmured embarrassed apologies as he straightened his clothing, feeling much better after sleeping for a few hours. While he was eager to go home and sleep for the rest of the day, he worried over leaving Wren.

Until her sleep laden eyes fell on him. Peaceful and warm, Wren gave him a smile before reassuring him she’d be okay alone. Somewhat reluctant and incredibly relieved, Kaidan checked in with Wren’s security detail one last time, then went home and got some much needed rest.

But that was three days ago.

06:50 CST, Day of the Memorial

“Liara, is that… bubble tea?” Kaidan asks quietly, out of nature this time instead of the splitting migraine that had lingered for two days.

“Indeed,” Liara responds, settling into her chair. “A relatively recent invention but a widely popular drink amongst humans. As the Citadel has such a wide variety of drink and food options for the memorial, I felt it only right to try one myself.”

Liara’s outward display of emotion is subdued, and has been since Kaidan met her again after Shepard’s revival. But Kaidan still sees the sparkle of academic curiosity in her eyes. Kaidan hums noncommittally with a raise of his eyebrows before turning back to tap away at the menu on his omnitool.

He glances up as Miranda approaches, holding a drink of her own, opening the glass door to their private booth and sitting gracefully into a chair. Kaidan eyes the drink with interest, probably a bit more civil than glaring a hole through her head.

“What did you get, Miranda?” Kaidan asks, watching Miranda eye the drink with suspicion.

“A drink called achk, supposedly a Batarian delicacy.” That earns her a look of judgment from Kaidan and Liara. “…my sister made me promise to try it,” Miranda supplies.

Again, Kaidan hums noncommittally before tapping away at the menu. With his order placed, he drops his arm to the table and his omnitool closes.

“Let’s not waste each other’s time here,” Miranda starts. “We need a way to guarantee Cerberus can’t use Shepard ever again. The easiest way, and what’s most in line with her last request, is to simply kill the clone.” Kaidan shakes his head.

“Miranda, that's not happening. Wren is nothing like the previous clone, that would be killing an innocent person for convenience’s sake. Hardly in line with what Shepard would want. And she hates Cerberus anyway, Wren isn’t the problem.”

Miranda sighs at Kaidan’s insistence but doesn’t argue further. She and Liara lift their drinks to their mouths in the lull of conversation. Kaidan leans back in his chair and watches as both of their faces twist for a fraction of a second before they slide their drinks away from themselves.

“That was… very sweet,” the Asari says with a small frown.

“Disgustingly so.” Miranda says, crossing her arms. “Why does she like this?” She asks under her breath.

“Perhaps one-hundred percent sugar was a mistake.” Liara studies her drink thoughtfully.

“I’ll be right back,” Kaidan murmurs as he slides out of his seat to get his order, returning with a tray of drinks. He slides a glass to Liara, an Asarian drink he’s seen her order regularly. Kaidan has no clue what’s in it but Liara seems to like it. Then he places an Earl Gray tea in front of Miranda. That’s a guess, Kaidan doesn’t know her preferences. The two stare at him as he sits, nursing his black coffee.

“Thank you, Kaidan.” Liara smiles softly and takes a drink happily. Miranda brings the cup to her lips, blinking in surprise.

“How did you know I liked Earl Gray tea?”

“You seem like the kind of person who would,” Kaidan says with a blank face before taking a sip of his coffee. Miranda gives him a look.

“That didn’t sound like a compliment.”

“Huh,” is all Kaidan says in response.

“Well,” Liara cuts in quickly. “Let’s make a plan then. Cerberus has money and a few powerful figures behind them, but their reputation won’t allow for more than covert operations. It’s unlikely they’ll be able to extend their influence quickly. If we handle them now, we can prevent them from being an issue in the future.”

“It’s not that simple.” Miranda pushes her tea to the side, fully focused now. “I’ve been hunting Cerberus for over two years. Their network is widespread and disjointed. Destroy one cell and it leads to three more that disappear without a trace before you can get on planet. They know I’m looking for them, and they’re being careful.”

“Careful or not, we can find them. We’ll handle their ‘sponsers’ first, then follow the evidence down to the smallest cell,” Kaidan says with a dark look. Miranda stares at him skeptically.

“How would you suppose we go about finding them—“ she stops speaking as Liara places a data pad on the table. Miranda picks it up and quickly starts scrolling through a list of profiles.

“These… These are some of the most powerful people in the galaxy, easily so in human circles. How did you get this?”

“I’m an information broker,” Liara says with a shrug. When she sees Miranda’s unbelieving stare she continues. “Shepard did a few favors for the Shadow Broker. I spoke with them through a contact and they’re willing to work with us. They compiled the profiles and information.”

Miranda doesn't know Liara is the Shadow Broker, but Shepard having an in must not seem far-fetched because she nods and continues reading through the data pad. Kaidan would bet she somehow memorized all the information there when she places the data pad back on the table.

“It’s not enough. Clearly they’re connected to Cerberus, but this isn’t enough evidence to incriminate them.”

“It’s enough evidence for me.” Kaidan’s voice is low, malicious intent evident. He’s a specter for a reason, right? The connections and data Liara has compiled is enough for Kaidan to be certain, moreover, Kaidan trusts Liara when it comes to her work. She’d point him in the right direction and he’d pull the trigger. If he was lucky, they’d put up a fight and he’d actually get to kill them.

Kaidan takes a deep breath, trying to soothe some of the venom burning his insides.

“They undoubtedly have strong influence over the media, probably a few local governing bodies as well. Are you ready to face the backlash?” Miranda asks, studying Kaidan.

“That’s the Council’s problem,” he responds with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

“And backlash from the Council?”

“That’s also the Council’s problem.”

Miranda huffs a dry laugh and falls into a thoughtful silence, her finger tapping the rim of her cup.

“…Liara provides the intel?” Miranda starts.

“I lead the infiltrations,” Kaidan adds.

“And Miranda, we’ll need you and your team for firepower,” Liara finishes.

The three simultaneously take a long sip from their drinks. When they put their cups down, they share the same determined expression.

“Deal.” Miranda finishes her tea and stands. She leans across the table and stabs a finger towards Kaidan. “You better not let Cerberus get their hands on her.”

“Would rather die,” Kaidan says simply, taking another sip of coffee. Miranda nods and makes for the door.

“I’ll have my people ready by tomorrow evening. Reach out when it’s time to move out.”

Liara and Kaidan wait for a long moment after Miranda leaves to speak.

“That went well,” Liara says, leaning back in her chair and sipping her drink peacefully. Kaidan meets her gaze from the corner of his eye before a small, satisfied smile quirks his lip. The two take their time quietly finishing their drinks.

12:17 CST, Day of the Memorial

Kaidan unlocks his door and swings it open. He takes half a step and pauses, six pairs of eyes staring back at him. Wren quickly walks up to him and pulls him inside.

“I am so sorry Kaidan,” Wren says nervously. “I wanted to ask first but Tali said not to.”

“Snitches get stitches,” Tali drawls out slowly, presumably glaring at Wren. The four other women in the room—god, his apartment was full of women—snicker at Tali’s playful threat. Kaidan recognizes one of them as Dr. Wang.

“Sorry!” Wren turns back to Tali with an apologetic grimace.

“Wren, it’s fine. And no one is getting any more stitches anytime soon. Stop making trouble Tali.”

Tali crosses her arms, “I’m not. We’re just getting ready for the Memorial Gala. If they’re making us dress up and play fancy, we should at least have fun with it.”

“And what does my apartment have to do with that?”

“Well, Wren can’t just go anywhere on the Citadel, it’s too dangerous for her. Plus, she’s still healing! Do you really want her to get ready by herself?” Tali exclaims.

Kaidan didn’t realize getting ready by yourself was such a big deal, but he catches a few disapproving looks and Dr. Wang shakes her head in exasperation. Wren is biting her lip nervously, staring up at Kaidan with big eyes.

He thinks they’re playing around, but the thing is, he can’t actually tell. Kaidan crosses his arms defensively.

“I never said that. Of course you can get ready here.” Tali nods like she knew that would be his answer all along, and Dr. Wang and who Kaidan assumes are the other doctors go back to chatting excitedly. Kaidan immediately turns back and opens the front door.

“Where are you going?” Wren asks, confused.

“I don’t want to be here for,” he glances at the group of girls. “That.” His gaze softens as he looks back at Wren. “You stay and have fun though.”

She smiles warmly and nods. Then her attention is claimed by the Asari walking through the door. Kaidan takes a step back to let her in.

“Liara,” Kaidan huffs, somewhat amused. “We were together all morning. You couldn’t have warned me?”

“Sorry, Kaidan,” Liara says very unapologetically. “Tali said not to.”

“Hey!” Tali gasps in betrayal. Liara just snickers while Wren grumbles about being the only one getting stitches. The scene is… surprisingly wholesome, and Kaidan feels the ever present scald of his anger cooling into something softer. Kinder.

And then his door opens again and the most obnoxious biotic Kaidan has ever known stomps in.

“Sup, bitches,” Jack calls loudly with a stupid grin. Kaidan glares at Tali.

“You invited the prison escapee to my home?”

“I feel like I’m back in prison, there’s no color in here.” Jack taps a boot to the black ottoman as if to prove a point.

Their rivalry, if you want to call it that, had begun a few months after Shepard’s death. Kaidan had been keeping to himself outside of his work so he rarely saw Normandy’s other crew members. Jack and him both led specialized biotics squads so somehow they had crossed paths. That day, Jack had taken one look at Kaidan and decided she would dedicate her entire personality to pissing him off.

At first, he was able to ignore her. He was a grown adult, and mourning besides, she wouldn’t get a rise out of him. But then she had the audacity to say that power is everything when it comes to biotics, skill and finesse were near useless. She even went so far as interrupting his team's training sessions to prove her, rather idiotic, point. Under all the pressure and expectations and stares filled with pity in his daily life, he had just snapped after Jack kept egging him on. Which led to a series of competitions between the two that mostly ended in draws.

If Kaidan is honest, he often had fun (when he wasn’t seeing red) with their little matches. An admission he might willingly give if there was any space for honest communication in their relationship. Instead he crosses his arms and stares at Jack with suspicion.

“Why are you even here? Do you even own formal wear?” Kaidan asks skeptically.

“Yeah, yeah, L2. Laugh it up. No one does eyeliner like I do.” Jack smiles smugly, as if challenging Kaidan.

“Good for you,” he says dryly, uninterested in competing in makeup. He grins when Jack sneers at him. Kaidan catches Wren watching the interaction with curiosity and has enough self awareness to be a little embarrassed.

“Alright, I’m leaving. Have fun and don’t let Jack tear up my couches—“

“Fuck you!”

“—I’ll be back around 1700 to get ready.”

“Understood. We should be done by then,” Liara says, laying out a small box of jewelry on the kitchen island.

“Bye, Kaidan,” Doctor Wang calls out in a sing-song tune. “It was very nice seeing you again.”

Wren spins around and glares at her, and the entire group of doctors break into laughter, falling over themselves in their amusement.

Kaidan takes that as his cue to leave as quickly as possible. Their laughter follows him out to the hall, muffled by the door. He walks, determined to put as much distance between him and the apartment as possible. Scary.

As Kaidan exits the apartment complex, with no real destination in mind, he spots Garrus leaning against a wall. The tension Kaidan didn’t realize was building inside him eases with a rush of gratitude at the sight.

He didn’t want to be alone today.

Kaidan approaches and Garrus straightens, walking over to meet him halfway with the usual laid back gait.

“Chased out of your own home?”

“We both know the answer to that.” Kaidan says with a sigh of amused exasperation.

“Well, a little angel on my shoulder told me you’d have time for a drink with an old friend.”

“Tali?”

“Got it in one.”

“First rounds on you,” Kaidan says, slapping Garrus’ shoulder as he walks by him. “You can thank your little angel.”

Garrus chuckles, then follows after Kaidan.

Chapter Text

When Kaidan returns he’s pleasantly buzzed and oblivious to the world beyond what’s directly in front of him. He isn’t sure if Garrus knew he’s on edge because of the memorial or just has a serious problem with alcohol but it was all he could do to not get piss drunk with the turian. He stumbles back when his front door opens suddenly. A frustrated sigh escapes his lips at his own state of being as he focuses on the group in front of him.

The women are gathering their belongings and heading towards the door. It’s a small swarm of fancy outfits and subtly sparkling accessories. Tali blinks up at Kaidan, her small form draped in deep purple fabrics with intricately swirling gold patterns.

“Oh. You’re back! Did you and Garrus have fun?”

“You’re both menaces,” Kaidan huffs. Tali laughs though she has the decency to sound embarrassed.

“Sorry Kaidan, I hope we didn’t bother you too much.”

Kaidan dispels her worry with a shake of his head.

“It’s fine. I’ll have enough time to sober up.” Tali looks taken aback at his statement, no doubt questioning how much trouble Garrus got into if Kaidan needs to recover from their short afternoon at the bar. She sighs and opens her omnitool to message the turian in question, giving a mumbled apology as she leaves first. Liara, wearing a high necked dress of contrasting blues with white detailing, follows closely after Tali. She gives Kaidan a knowing smile on her way out that he immediately decides means trouble. His worry is confirmed when Jack doesn’t flip him off on her way out, only smiles smugly. He follows the two with narrowed eyes before an unfamiliar voice catches his attention.

“Thank you again.”

Kaidan turns, it’s one of the doctors he hasn’t met yet. She’s tall and willowy, her loose black pantsuit a striking contrast with her pale skin. Kaidan shakes her extended hand as she introduces herself as Ophelia. Another doctor, though she insists he drops the formalities.

“It’s nothing, I hope you all had fun,” he says with a small smile, feeling the need to make a good impression.

“Not just for the apartment today. For saving my girl,” she looks back at Dr. Wang who eagerly runs up to hold her hand. “And for helping Wren and the rest of us as well.”

“Oh-“ It seems Wren is friends with all of them but they weren’t all friends, per say. “Well, you can thank Wren for most of it. She would do anything to keep you all safe.”

Their expressions soften, something loving and worried shared between the four of them.

“That’s why we’re so glad she has you,” Ophelia says with a smile. Before Kaidan can question her any further, the group starts moving towards the door. He sees them all out with hurried goodbyes and promises to speak again at the memorial.

Then he’s alone. But he shouldn’t be. He wanders toward the hallway. His apartment was only so big, Wren must be in his bedroom or the bathroom. The lilt of music spills from the bathroom, drawing Kaidan in. The door swiftly opens after a soft knock and Wren appears with a large smile on her face.

“Kaidan!” Unlike his front door, and most others on the Citadel, the bathroom door swings on hinges and Wren closes it a fraction to hide. “You’re back.”

Kaidan is staring at what little of Wren he can see. She has hair. A lot of it. It falls in loose dark waves around her face.

“Uh. Where’d you get the…?” He gestures vaguely.

“Oh! Ha! It’s a wig,” Wren peeks out further to show him. “Liara said it would be a good idea since the Commander and I look so similar. It’s distinctly different from the military buzz cut and it’ll help hide my face.”

“Smart.” Kaidan catches a strand of hair to feel the synthetic material before quickly realizing how that looks and dropping it. He used to be careful, before he met Wren. “It looks good. A master of disguise,” he says, trying to breeze over his mistake. Wren doesn’t seem to mind though. She gives a playful, smug grin at his praise before flipping a strand over her shoulder.

“I’ve had some practice,” she laughs. “Could you send someone over to help me with my dress? So I can talk to you without a door between us?”

Kaidan frowns, glancing at his front door.

“Everyone else already left, Wren.”

“What,” there’s a flash of hurt that’s quickly replaced by annoyance. “They’re doing too much.” Kaidan quirks an eyebrow in question.

“My so-called friends are trying to ‘help us’ get together,” Wren says with a roll of her eyes. “I’ll talk to them and make sure they don’t stick their noses where they don’t belong.”

Kaidan is once again reminded how candid Wren is. Her tears, joy, everything is always on full display. It’s…nice. Easy to be around.

“I’m sure Liara, Jack, and Tali did their fair share of meddling.” He sighs.

“Surely,” Wren’s face screws into a small scowl. “It’s not fair to you at all. I can talk to them if you want, just say the word.”

Kaidan leans back against the wall behind him, staring amusedly as Wren fumes silently.

“I really don’t mind Wren, but I’d say something if I did.” Wren deflates a bit before nodding.

“Okay… just- if there’s ever anything I can do for you, just tell me.”

“I will,” Kaidan says softly, a gentle smile brought to his lips. It’s a good feeling, having someone in your corner. He’s lucky he didn’t lose Wren’s support after the last few days. He’s lucky he didn’t lose Wren. He shudders. “So what did you need help with?” He asks, shifting away from thoughts of death and hospital beds.

“My dress,” Wren steps out of the bathroom, revealing a long black gown. The collar rests below her collar bones and off her shoulders, the form fitting sleeves extending just past her wrists. It subtly shimmers as she turns away from Kaidan, exposing the opened zipper running down her back. Kaidan inhales deeply.

“Just zip it?” He asks, quietly enough to hide the deep desire in his voice, he hopes.

“Yep,” Wren twists her hair out of the way. “The dress is a little snug, otherwise I’d do it myself.”

The subtle scent of something sweet and earthy is exposed with Wren’s neck. Torture is the word Kaidan would use to describe this. He reaches out to grasp the zipper and carefully pulls it up the back of the dress, his fingers gliding along warm skin. It sticks at the top and Kaidan tugs hard, successfully zipping it up and making Wren stumble back into him. She’s giggling while she quickly rights herself, but Kaidan feels like he's been branded along his whole body. Torture.

“Thank you,” Wren says with a large smile. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

Kaidan simply hums in response, distracted. He needs to get sober and fast.

“...Are you okay?” Wren leans into his line of sight and stares up at him. For a moment, Kaidan’s heart races at the thought she knows what he's thinking. But the only thing in her eyes is concern. He stays silent, unsure of the intent behind the question. Wren clarifies a moment later.

“It’s the day of the Memorial. We don’t have to talk about it. But I’m here… If you want to.” Her voice shrinks as she speaks, confidence draining the longer she goes. Kaidan doesn’t know how to respond. But the fact that Wren directly asked, is the only one who did, it does something serious to his heart.

“It… doesn’t feel real yet.” Kaidan’s eyes fall as he braves a look inwards. Turns the cold stone of grief that always sits there, its edges fuzzy from the alcohol. It all feels so far away, buried in the constant struggle of the past days. Wren nods, despite his non-answer. To his surprise, she slips her hand into his, the softest of touches.

“I’m here.” She says it like it won't change.

The Memorial

The skycar drops them right at the entrance and Kaidan gets intense deja vu as he escorts Wren down the carpet. There are no cameras or paparazzi this time but conversations and quips from a life ago follow him to the door. Ow, my heart.

It's a large hall at the top of the presidium, with all of the expensive elegance and high-profile personnel that comes with it. Notably, more than a few military full dress uniforms are present, Kaidan’s included.

In the center of the hall, of the crowd and lights, is Shepard. Standing tall amidst it all, looking towards the sky with stoney determination, stepping towards the galaxy’s assured future and her own death. People admire it between conversations, flutes of champagne in hand. Kaidan hates this already.

“I wish I had met her. Maybe we could’ve been close,” Wren whispers, squeezing Kaidan’s arm and startling him from his thoughts. “Or maybe I’m just being delusional.” She touches the faint scarring crawling up her chest, left from Miranda’s attack.

“No,” Kaidan says softly, pulling Wren away from the entrance. “I think she would’ve liked you.” Wren smiles and Kaidan doesn’t miss the misty eyed glance back at the statue.

The two make their way around the room, finding drinks and plates of finger foods from every cuisine. It feels like a gala. Kaidan supposes this is a happy occasion for most people here. They can admire their hero from a safe emotional distance, basking in all the benefits of a soldier fighting and dying for them while they drink their champagne and offer a few paltry praises.

Kaidan knows this line of thinking is foolish and self centered. Plenty of people here fought in the Reaper War, and certainly everyone was forced to sacrifice something. Even the rich and powerful couldn’t escape the destructive paths of the Reapers.

Still, it was hard to choke down the rage and sorrow he felt while standing under the stone gaze of Commander Shepard. His Shepard.

He huffs a shaky breath out, suddenly disoriented from the weight of it all. Grief is strange like that. One moment you’re fine, the next your vision is swimming with tears in a room full of strangers.

It’s been two years.

“Kaidan?” Wren’s voice is quiet and discreet. Worried, as well.

She’s really gone this time.

“I… I need a moment.”

Shepard is dead.

Wren drags Kaidan toward a dim corridor, leading to stairs up to the upper balconies.

There’s no body to revive. No remnants of the Lazarus project to do so. This is it.

Kaidan takes one last glance at the statue, crushed with the cold reality before him: the modern civilized galaxy is alive and celebrating because of Shepard. But they will never see that beautiful soul again. Feel the warmth and passion she put into everything she did. No one will ever see the happiness she felt when she could save someone, or the crushing guilt when they lost. Shepard’s life is now locked away in the past, in memories, pictures, and vids that could never capture who she really was. That would never change or move forward.

“Fuck.” Kaidan rubs a hand over his eyes, digging in until he sees stars. Wren has led them to a balcony, dim and secluded away from the noise of the Memorial. He leans heavily against the railing overlooking an outdoor garden. He misses the cool breezes of earth.

Wren says nothing, just stands beside him. Kaidan is thankful for the quiet companionship while he reels his spilling guts back in. His shoulders stiffen when he hears footsteps approaching. The voice that calls out to him nearly shocks him to the core.

“I must speak with Kaidan,” Javik says, pulling off the hood of a well-worn traveler's cloak. Wren’s mouth drops open in shock.

“Uh… Right. Um, Kaidan?” Wren reluctantly pulls her wide eyes away from the prothean to stare at Kaidan. He certainly isn’t in the mood to chit chat, but if the last remaining prothean who went missing directly after the war ended wanted to speak with him? Well, he won’t say no.

“Javik…” Kaidan turns around to face him. He reaches for anything to say but they weren’t exactly close when they were on the Normandy. He remembers Javik being rather taciturn and standoffish with most of the crew actually. Shepard had got along well with him, as she always did, but Kaidan had given the Prothean a wide berth. So his surprise at seeing him here and looking to talk with Kaidan specifically is not strange. Wren is also looking curiously at the hulking figure as she leaves them to talk. Javik’s eyes follow her out before turning to Kaidan.

“She is a clone.” The way Javik says it makes it obvious it isn’t a question.

“Uh, yeah.”

“And the two of you-”

“Don’t.” Kaidan cuts him off with a sour look. The Prothean shrugs and mumbles something, probably incredibly insulting and about Kaidan’s primitive lineage.

“What do you want, Javik?” Kaidan sighs.

“Your people have a saying, one the Commander told me.” Kaidan freezes at the mention of Shepard. “‘Let old ghosts rest,’” Javik says, his voice heavy with purpose. He leans casually against the wall, watching Kaidan.

“...Are you telling me to forget Shepard right now?” It comes out with an angry bite and Kaidan isn’t the least bit sorry about it.

“I am simply a voice for a dead hero.”

Kaidan is stunned into silence.

“If you are unable to let the dead rest, you will join them,” Javik says. Kaidan raises a hand, begging for a moment of reprieve. He isn’t sure if he can have this conversation right now, but the prothean is insistent.

“What of this clone? Are you not bound to her?” Kaidan shakes his head with a heavy sigh.

“No, it’s not that simple.”

“Of course not,” Javik huffs. The condescension practically drips off his words.

“I can’t do this again, Javik.” Kaidan’s voice barely escapes his throat. “I get close, someone dies, and I lose it all. First Rahna, then Shepard. And I only have myself to blame. I was even given a second chance to be there for Shepard. And I failed. Again.” Kaidan shuts his mouth and turns away. He will not vent about his problems to the prothean. Javik is silent for a heartbeat before he responds.

“Your people have another saying: the third time’s the charm.”

“Wonderful,” Kaidan huffs a derisive, teary laugh.

“The Commander told me it was better to simply drop what keeps you from moving forward.”

He doesn’t know why, but Kaidan’s mind flashes back to that moment on earth, during the final push. Where Shepard had pushed him into the Normandy and left him behind for good. He knows it was worth it. He knows why she chose what she did. But it still hurts. Because Shepard was willing to sacrifice anything for the future she dreamed of. And Kaidan wasn’t even strong enough to die by her side. Drop what keeps you from moving forward.

“That sounds like Shepard,” Kaidan mumbles.

“I have felt the loss that comes from your people’s death. I know the precipice which you stand upon better than anyone. There is a future for you, human. But only if you want it. The decision is yours alone.”

Kaidan turns around as he hears Javik make to leave.

“The Commander wanted you to live. I have said all that was requested of me. You will not see me again.” Javik says simply and leaves.

Kaidan watches him turn the corner, listens closely until the sound of his footsteps disappear. When he’s certain he’s alone, he opens his omnitool and pulls up the photo he took of his home. Soaring mountains, rolling hills, crystal lakes, and the bluest sky he’s ever been under.

“Shepard… You never did get to go. You would’ve loved the lakes, with all the fish swimming around,” Kaidan laughs, inhaling sharply to stop a sob from escaping. Then he tells stories from his childhood in Canada, as if Shepard was next to him. Each memory is another inch deeper in the ground.

When the tears have dried and he leaves that balcony behind, he walks down the stairs and finds Wren waiting for him.

Chapter Text

The memorial wasn’t all tears. At some point, Kaidan finds Normandy’s team packed into a sitting room not far from the main hall. He catches the end of a joke, it sounds like Traynor’s voice, and the room bursts into laughter. Kaidan smiles unconsciously at the sound.

“Kaidan,” Wren says quietly, tugging softly on his elbow. “I think I’ll go try to find my friends.”

Kaidan glances back at the room, laughter still spilling from the entrance. He turns back to Wren.

“Okay, I’ll go with you.”

“No, no. You stay. I’ll be okay on my own.”

“Is something wrong?” Kaidan’s brows furrow. The memorial’s security is airtight, but he can’t help but tense at the idea of Wren leaving his side.

“Nothing is wrong,” Wren says with a soft smile. She takes another step into his space putting them near chest to chest. Wren pulls a stray hair from his jacket arm, smoothing the fabric down as she speaks with an easy cadence. It’s a balm on his raw nerves.
“I want you to have this. Time with your friends and old teammates. I won’t be able to hide my appearance that close to all of them. I would be in the way.”

“You wouldn’t,” Kaidan starts with a frown. He pauses when Wren’s smile grows.

“It’s fine, you have your friends and I’ll find mine. I’ll be okay, promise.” She gives a gentle push against his chest. The quietest laugh falls from her lips when he resists. “Go, seriously!”

Kaidan relents, taking slow steps back towards the sound of laughter. Wren watches him with a smile on her face, giving him a small wave as he walks in. She’s completely unaware of how Kaidan peeks his head back out the door to watch her go.

Not a moment after Wren leaves his sight, he’s pulled into the room by James Vega, and a beer is thrusted into his hands.

“Sir, good to see you again.”

“Lieutenant, it’s nice to see you.”

“Captain now, sir,” James says with a puffed chest. Kaidan gives him an impressed look and congratulates him.

“Not without a fair amount of scars to show for it,” Dr. Chakwas says with a grin while pouring herself a glass of expensive whiskey. Kaidan slides a bit closer in hopes of getting a glass.

“Hey, chicks dig scars,” Vegas says with a casual smile.

“Yeah, the ladies are lined up at the door,” Cortez says with a snort. Kaidan can’t help but chuckle, his heart lighter around good friends. He’d always got along with Cortez, but especially after everything he did for Kaidan following Shepard’s death. They understand each other. The two men share a smile as Kaidan settles in between Cortez and Dr. Chakwas on a couch.

“Did I ever tell you about the pull up contest he had with Shepard?” Kaidan is mostly speaking to Cortez but suddenly he has the entire room’s attention. Kasumi cackles eagerly from… somewhere in the room.

“You wouldn’t,” James gasps.

Kaidan would. And does.

The rest of the night is spent swapping stories about Shepard and the rest of the team, some stories of ridiculous stunts that pull an impressed look from the rest of the group, some failures so grand they can’t help but laugh. And everything in between.

Kaidan starts the warpath early the next morning. He’s thankful for the eclectic personalities Shepard liked to collect because Liara and Miranda are just as ready and eager to get this done as he is.

Wren watches him from the couch, chin resting on the back so she can see him bustle about the kitchen for breakfast.

“…I just want you to know I don’t like this.” Wren says it with a matter of fact tone and an almost bored expression but Kaidan knows just how strongly she feels about it. She looked ready to actually fight him when he first told her their plan last night. It was only after a long conversation about her health and the awful strategy of bringing her to Cerberus’ front door did she reluctantly agree to stay behind.

Kaidan drops his bag by the door and eases himself on to the couch by Wren. They simply watch each other for a long moment. The longer Kaidan’s eyes linger, the more Wren’s mask of indifference gives away to a deep, anxious concern.

“Please… be careful. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

“Wren, I’m doing this as much for me as I am for you. Cerberus has terrorized the galaxy long enough. They’ve tormented me enough.”

Wren stares at him before slowly nodding. Her voice comes out a soft whisper, giving her words a feeling of intimacy. Kaidan matches her posture and leans his head on the back of the couch, curling in a bit closer as she speaks.

“I know you need to do this. Just…” come back to me, her eyes seem to say. But she remains silent. Kaidan offers all that he can.

“I’ll be careful,” he promises.

Then he’s off.

His first target is an older woman by the name of Amanda Travenni. She has the sort of generational wealth that could make a grown man cry, and all the connections that come with it. She’s pretty cooperative after Kaidan and Miranda sweep through her security, grab the evidence they need, then shove it in her face alongside the barrel of a gun.

Of course there’s plenty of push back from elites, probably afraid of a Specter going after their assets next, but with the irrefutable proof Kaidan gathered during Travenni’s arrest it’s difficult for the Council to say much on the matter. Somewhat understandably, the Council was always cautious when dealing with Shepard. Nobody wanted to believe the Reapers could be real. But the name ‘Cerberus’ still incites that reaction of anger and fear that makes the bureaucratic process a bit smoother for Kaidan. So he’s relatively optimistic when he returns to his apartment to wait for the Council’s decision on whether to further support his missions or not. Thoughts of Cerberus and diplomatic relations fade when he sees a note stuck to the fridge.

‘You left food in the fridge (silly) I threw it away, hope that’s okay. Feel free to come steal my food as repayment. Welcome back!

-Wren’

Her handwriting is one of the messiest Kaidan has ever seen but he’s so impressed that she took the time to find and use an actual paper post-it note that he doesn’t really notice.

Kaidan checks his fridge (sure enough, it was empty of any perishables), then his trash can (also empty), before realizing the entire apartment seems… neater than how he left it. He drops his bag and sets out to find Wren in hopes of solving this mystery. She’s living in the same apartment complex on the same floor as Kaidan, purposefully. The building’s security was pretty good, made better with a little meddling on Kaidan's part. She has access to Kaidan’s apartment as well, but he had intended that more for emergencies, not cleaning.

Kaidan knocks on her door and waits. There’s the sound of someone rushing to the door and then it swings open to a bright smile.

“You’re back! This is great, I was just about to cook.” Wren grabs Kaidan’s hand and pulls him into the apartment. He takes a look around as she excitedly flutters around the kitchen. Somehow she managed to decorate the place in the short few weeks Kaidan was gone. There’s a collection of plants growing on a short table by the window, softly glowing lights hung from the ceiling, and plush green throw blankets draped over the couch.

“You’ve been busy,” Kaidan says with a small smile. He follows her to the edge of a kitchen and leans a shoulder against the wall.

“Restless might be a better word,” Wren says with a little laugh. “Leaving the apartment is such a production. I’ve got to report where I’m going, how long it’ll take, don’t get me started on the security. Killjoys,” Wren grumbles the last bit under her breath. Kaidan can’t help but feel for her. It might be for her safety but surely this place feels like a birdcage.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay! It’s not like I can’t leave, it’s just a hassle. And I know this is the only way you’d feel comfortable leaving to hunt Cerberus.” Wren smiles while she adds the contents of a spice bowl to a large pot.

“Is that what got you cooking? Being stuck inside?”

“Well, I had to learn because Shepard knew how. But I always thought it was pretty fun. Now that I can make whatever I want, I’ve really taken to it! The plants are new though. Turns out plants can drown! Who would’ve thought?” Kaidan chuckles at the incredulous look Wren gives him.

It’s moments like these he clings to. Between the fighting and investigations and annoying bureaucracy, he has this.

The next time he comes back from a mission, much more time has passed. With the fall of Amanda Trevenni, the other sponsors have grown more shrewd and tactful, making the job of finding them and concrete evidence to condemn them more time consuming. They get the work done and every inch of progress they make is deeply satisfying, but the long stretches away have Kaidan aching to go back home. He likes to pretend he doesn’t know why.

“Your hair is longer,” Kaidan says over a bite of macaroni. The scalding cheese drips off his spoon like delicious napalm. He reluctantly puts his spoon down to let it cool.

“Oh gosh,” Wren runs a hand over her head, embarrassed. “It’s at such a weird length right now. Maybe I should buy a hat.”

“I think it looks good.” It does, it surrounds Wren’s head like a fluffy halo. It’s probably really soft but Kaidan successfully keeps his hands to himself this time. “What made you want to grow it out?”

Wren shrugs, quickly scooping up a large spoon of food and squealing when she burns her tongue.

After a few missions following the same pattern, he’s invited to a dinner with members of his previous biotic special forces team. Maybe on a whim, maybe because he feels responsible for her partial confinement, Kaidan invites Wren to go along with him.

They have a calm dinner and pass out beers. Kaidan is standing in the kitchen speaking with some squadmates when he realizes Wren has left his side. He glances over to the living room and sees her sitting with a young widow of one his squadmates, Elizabeth if he’s remembering correctly. She’s quiet and not particularly close with anyone here, so Kaidan doesn’t know much about her. But she’s sitting there laughing with Wren, so hopefully she’s doing alright.

Kaidan asks about their conversation while they’re in the skycar on the way back.

“Oh, Lizzie?” Wren smiles. “She’s pretty cool! Apparently she knows how to crochet. Who does that nowadays? She said she’d come over and try to teach me.”

Kaidan hums in interest and Wren continues on excitedly.

“She said she’s never been clubbing before. She tried to say she was bad at dancing but I showed her some of my moves and I think I convinced her to give it a try.” Kaidan snorts at that and Wren’s smile grows at the sound. “I can’t go clubbing right now, too many people and security risks. But I’m thinking I could invite her over for dinner with my friends. She could go with them if they hit it off.”

“It’s too bad you can’t go,” Kaidan says with a furrowed brow. Wren’s smile remains carefree.

“Honestly, I’m a little relieved. I’m really bad at dancing.”

“I’m sure you’re not that bad.” Wren nearly launches into a lengthy explanation of just how bad she is, until she sees Kaidan mischievous grin that is. She narrows her eyes.

“Oh. Oh, no. You saw me dance that day, didn’t you?” Wren smacks a palm to her forehead. Kaidan nearly laughs at her reaction. “I really can’t catch a break, can I?”

“Seems not,” Kaidan says with a subtle smile. Wren glares at him, though her lips are still turned up in a smile. “If you don’t like clubbing that much, why try to get Elizabeth to go?”

“It’s mostly just an excuse to get everyone in the same room. Lizzie seemed a little… introverted. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying time by yourself, of course!” Wren corrects herself quickly. “I just don’t want her to be lonely.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” Kaidan says. Wren shrugs.

“Lizzie is the sweet one. Hopefully I don’t scare her off with my antics,” Wren giggles.

Kaidan glances at her for a moment, taking in the smile on her face as she stares out the window, Citadel lights dancing through the skycar. Suddenly he wants to curl in on himself and just be cradled by this energetic, caring woman. Maybe she could try to cure his loneliness too.

Longing becomes an emotion Kaidan is deeply familiar with. It follows him into his ship’s cabin, finds him in the corner of Cerberus facilities, and haunts him in the apartment that Wren refuses to stop cleaning in his absence. Still, it takes months for Kaidan to acknowledge.

He’s just returned from a gruesome mission. All of the lead up was the usual tedious, lengthy investigative work but when they entered the facility they tracked down it became a bloodbath. The man they were after never intended to cooperate, and his security was well trained and relentless. It stretched the team dangerously thin, no one came out unscathed.

Kaidan stumbles into his dark apartment, not bothering to switch the lights on before shuffling in. He eases himself on to the couch, his aching, beaten muscles forgotten in the pain of an excruciating migraine. Sleep is not an option. As much as he needs it, Kaidan knows the only thing he can do is fade in and out of this hazy state, anything beyond this skull crushing pressure in his head lost to him. Medicine. He needs medicine. But the attempt to sit up sends a wave of nausea strong enough to have him gagging back the contents of his stomach, so he gives up on that. How much time passes like this is lost on him, but eventually his front door opens, letting in a cutting brightness from the outside. He turns into the couch, groaning.

The door closes shortly after blocking the light out once again. The quiet thump of footsteps moving about the apartment sends Kaidan into a panic he simply can’t process or respond to. He flinches when they approach him, but as a soft hand is placed on his arm he instinctively relaxes. Wren, it’s Wren.

“Migraine?” Wren asks softly, her voice barely audible. Kaidan can’t give more than a pained huff as affirmation, but Wren seems to know already. “Take this for me.”

Kaidan turns his head to squint at Wren, finding her kneeling next to where he laid on the couch with a pill extended between her fingers. She puts it between his lips followed by a straw. He gulps down the pill with as much water as his stomach can stand. He gives up on following what happens after that but eventually he sleeps.

When he awakens, he doesn't know how long it's been but his apartment is still dark. The rest and drugs seem to have culled the worst of his migraine, an unpleasant but manageable headache is what he’s left with, that and his sore muscles. Kaidan lets out a deep sigh as he pushes himself up, looking around. Again, there's a blanket draped across him, and he finds Wren tipped over on the floor beside the couch, bundled in a blanket. She blinks awake shortly after Kaidan sits up, turning on her back to look up at Kaidan.

“Morning,” she mumbles. Her voice is so gentle, Kaidan lays back down and leans over the edge of the couch to get a little closer.

“Sorry to wake you.”

“Don’t be.” Wren stretches with a yawn, breaking out of her blanket cocoon. Kaidan smirks as he notices her attire.

“Is that my hoodie?” Wren frowns before glancing at the sleeves of what was definitely his hoodie.

“No…” Kaidan quirks an eyebrow. “You keep it way too cold in here,” Wren grumbles.

She moves to stand and Kaidan follows her. His heartaches seeing her asleep on the floor for him. But it also moves him deeply. Kaidan studies her as she moves to the kitchen, trying to understand.

“Wait… are those my socks?” Kaidan mumbles. Wren stops suddenly, forcing Kaidan to do the same. The two are close enough to give Kaidan a small heart attack when Wren turns towards him with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry. But I didn’t want to leave you alone and it is really too cold in here. Forgive me?”

She twiddles with the strings of her (his) hoodie and gazes up at him with puppy eyes. He’s slightly taken aback, but he smiles, amused.

“It’s fine,” he murmurs and, because he just can’t help himself anymore, he reaches out and gently smooths a stray hair out of her face. “Looks better on you anyway.”

Satisfied with himself -her hair is even softer than he imagined- he makes his way further into the kitchen. Caffeine and more pain meds were on the menu. He turns the kitchen lights on to the dimmest setting so he’s not fumbling around blindly and begins fixing a pot of coffee. Wren remains stock still where he left her until Kaidan asks over his shoulder if she’d like a cup. After a mumbled yes, she busies herself taking out ingredients for something. Kaidan’s confusion grows when she pulls out a bottle of whiskey that Kaidan doesn’t remember purchasing.

“Day drinking?”

“Oh, god. At… five thirty-two am?” Wren snorts. “It’s for pancakes.”

Intrigued, Kaidan walks over with two fresh cups of coffee and leans a hip on the counter to watch her.

“You make them with vanilla and whiskey. I thought… Well, we usually eat together when you’re here.” Wren shrugs the way she does when she actually cares a lot but is trying to be nonchalant. “The recipe reminded me of us- like, as in, uh, I like vanilla, you like whiskey. It’s a good combo. For flavors.” She sighs quietly, shaking her head in frustration as she trips over words.

The display sends a rush of adoration through him that softly urges him to acknowledge the feelings he’s been ignoring for a while now. Kaidan loves her. It’s selfish, he knows it, but he hopes this means she thinks of him often while he’s away. He's already imagining her floating around her apartment trying recipes to cook for when he returns, humming in that sing-song way she does when she’s focused.

“It sounds amazing. Do you need any help?” Wren shakes her head, instead of letting him assist as he usually does, she insists Kaidan go shower.

He does as she says, eager to feel the sting of hot water wash over his aching body after a mission as taxing as that one. As he stands under the stream of warmth, he comes to terms with the now undeniable love he has for Wren. And what that might mean for him. They were good friends, Kaidan would consider them close. But is that because of convenience, Wren as isolated as she is, or is that because she still regards him as… special? It would be narcissistic of him to assume she still has feelings for him after he rejected her months ago, but would she really go out of her way to take such good care of his things, of him, if there isn’t something there?

He lets the water run across his face and a sudden epiphany silences all of these questions in his mind. It doesn’t matter if Wren still loves him or not, he’s willing to brave rejection to make his thoughts and feelings known. If she says no, that’ll be that, Kaidan is willing to do what it takes to ensure their friendship survives afterwards. But if there’s even the smallest chance he can earn her love back…

Well, life is tragically short. He needs to try.

Kaidan steps out of the shower, dries, and dresses quickly. The clarity he now feels makes him eager to return to Wren’s side. She’s sliding plates of breakfast food onto the table as he steps out, the smell of pancakes and bacon fill the air.

“Thank you for cooking,” he says softly. She smiles before sitting down and Kaidan joins her at the table.

“You have to let me know what you think,” Wren says, taking a sip of her coffee. “I changed the recipe to make it a little sweeter, so you might not like it.”

Kaidan nods, though he’s seriously doubtful he could hate pancakes. He cuts a small slice away and pops it into his mouth. Thick but soft as a cloud, the flavor isn’t over powering but he can taste the whiskey and vanilla. It really is a good combo. Perfect with maple syrup.

“Not too sweet?” Kaidan glances over mid-bite and Wren is smiling at him, head tilted up towards him to search his face. He’s lost to those beautiful eyes for a moment before he responds.

“No, it’s perfect.”

Wren brightens before turning back to her own meal, obviously happy with the results of her cooking. The sight squeezes Kaidan's heart.

Yeah, Kaidan is deeply in love with this woman. Not just because she makes the best pancakes he’s ever had, and they are really fucking good. It's the infinite warmth and care she offers those around her, how adventurous she is with her ideas and feelings. He’s never met anyone so accepting and open.

The two finish eating and Wren stands, stretching. His hoodie is far too big on her, Kaidan notes with a hint of amusement. Cute.

“Alright,” Wren rubs at her eyes and yawns. “Now that we’ve eaten, I’m sleepy again.”

“You can use the bed,” Kaidan says, sipping his coffee. Wren stares at him with wide eyes. It occurs to him belatedly that she probably meant to go back to her apartment, not sleep on his couch again. He no longer required immediate medical attention, after all. But Wren’s expression of surprise quickly melts into a smile.

“Well, I won’t turn down a gracious offer like that. I’m not sure where you got that mattress but I’ve never slept so well in my life as I did there.” Wren walks into his bedroom with a sleepy, yet cheery, expression and Kaidan smiles into his coffee at the sound of her diving onto the bed.

Letting some time pass first, Kaidan peeks into the room to ensure she’s asleep before he throws on a jacket. If the past 5 years taught him anything, it’s that wasted time will lead to regrets. There’s no fraternization policies, no intergalactic scandals, and no questioned loyalties preventing him from pursuing the woman he loves. There’s just one thing he needs to do before his conscience is free.

So he sends a few messages on his omnitool, hops in a skycar, and heads to Shepard’s apartment to pack away the remnants of his past.

Chapter Text

Kaidan spends most of the next couple days clearing out the apartment. It shouldn’t take long, they didn’t keep much beyond the essentials when he and Shepard lived there. But that just gives every item heavier sentimental weight. There’s no clutter, just cherished items and necessities. It’s a slow process, finding a place for everything now that it no longer belongs with him.

He starts in parts of the house that hold few memories and items, places like the guest rooms and sitting rooms. He’s downloading the audio clips of Anderson’s interview when he glances to the corner of the living room. He sends a pic of the sleek black piano to Liara with a short message,

[“Do you want this?”]

[“Yes.”] Is her immediate answer. Then a moment later, [“Are you okay?”]

[“I’m okay. It’s time. Come pick it up whenever you’re free.”]

Liara arranges a time to grab it and Kaidan returns to his task at hand. He lifts the photos on the fireplace mantle, blinking away the sting of tears even as a smile tugs at the corner of his lips. He spent so much time looking at these photos, lingering by this fireplace. Every memory resurfaces with a soft fondness, and grief that will never be forgotten. He lets these feelings linger, content to let the pain of the past remain as he works towards his future. After years of service and loss, Kaidan has come to terms with the fact that some wounds will never fully heal. Just like his elbow will always ache from a bad break years ago, so will his heart at the thought of those he lost. He owes at least that much to them.

Kaidan saves the photos, in hopes of circulating them to Normandy’s team at some point, and gently puts the original copies into a small box. These he would keep for himself, perhaps to place on another fireplace elsewhere, alongside new memories.

He moves throughout the first floor, leaving large pieces of furniture, bedding, art, and anything that didn’t have significant personal value. He’s just finished packing medals and personal effects from Shepard’s office when the ship model of the Normandy on the large meeting table catches his eye. Joker is off the grid right now, flying ships so wrapped up in secrecy that Kaidan couldn’t mention their names to anyone without the right clearance. But he had always appreciated the overly complex ship models Shepard collected, so Kaidan quietly puts aside the Normandy for him. Joker swore he would never love another ship more than that one, so it feels right.

Saving the bedroom for last, Kaidan continues on to the armory. The twang of metal and gun lubricant hits his nose and he sighs at the familiarity. Kaidan simply stands in the doorway, staring into the room. Shepard spent an unhealthy amount of time here. When the stress of the Reaper War overtook her, as it often did, she would come here to check, double-check, then triple-check every weapon and attachment. When she was falling apart on the inside, everything else had to be perfect. Kaidan spent many nights standing right in this spot, coaxing her back to bed.

He notes the safes in the corners. They weren’t there when he lived here with Shepard and upon further inspection he realizes these were her personal weapons, moved here after her death. He pops case after case, eyebrows raising at the honestly obscene collection. Kaidan knows Shepard was a bit of a collector but damn, the sheer amount is ridiculous. After a minute of staring at the open cases he puts his hands on his hips, at a loss for what to do with all of them. Kaidan gives up and just snaps another photo, this time to send to Garrus. He was nearly as obsessed as Shepard about this.

[“Help.”]

Garrus takes a bit longer to respond but when he does it’s with a barrage of texts, some in all caps. Kaidan chuckles before organizing a meeting with him. Garrus could help him figure out what to do with all of them. Kaidan was inclined to pass them on to those of the old Normandy’s team who still needed them in the field, but some of these guns feel like they belong in a collection. There was talk about a museum exhibit being set up somewhere on earth as well as the Citadel. Kaidan didn’t keep up with the updates at the time, too busy trying to bury what had happened instead of reliving it, but maybe there’s a place out there that can do Shepard’s memory some justice. It would be better than keeping it all locked away here.

Eventually, Kaidan has everything packed away and sorted for delivery. Some would make the journey to wherever he lands next, others would be shipped off to new homes. Liara and Garrus would be by tomorrow to help him find a place for all the guns, art, and strange memorabilia. Even the bedroom is completely packed, though being in that room again had pulled more than a few tears from his eyes. Thankfully, there wasn’t much beyond Thane’s messages in there, and Kaidan didn’t dare watch them. Those were for Shepard, so he simply saves them on a hard drive and leaves it at that. Maybe Kolyat would take them at some point.

With two days of emotional turmoil, help from some friends, and paid movers to extract the largest of items, Shepard’s apartment is cleared for another’s use. Figuring out a good owner may take some time but he doesn’t need to be on the Citadel to do it. He stands at the door, looking at the apartment with a bittersweet feeling that makes his breath catch in his throat. Another chapter comes to a close. He can’t help but recall the last shore leave they had, the words he shared with Shepard.

“The best,” Kaidan says under his breath with a sad smile, letting the door close.

The job complete, Kaidan makes his way back to the smaller apartment he temporarily calls home. He catches Wren in the hallway of the complex, his heart soaring at the sight of her despite the disappointed frown on her face.

“Wren,” He calls as he approaches. Wren turns to him with a furrowed brow. “Something wrong?”

“Yeah, but there’s not much to do about it,” Wren sighs. “Someone on my security team got sick suddenly and I didn’t want to ruin someone else’s plans by calling someone in, so I canceled mine.”

Kaidan frowns.

“What were your plans?”

“Nothing serious. I was going to see a movie, there’ll be more showings.”

“Did you already reschedule with your friends?” Kaidan asks. Maybe they could still make it, Kaidan’s confident he could keep her safe despite the missing personnel.

“Oh, no,” She says with a wave of her hand. “I didn’t have plans with anyone, I was going to watch it by myself.”

Kaidan blinks at that. The look puts an amused smile on Wren’s lips.

“All my friends are doctors, except Lizzie, but she has kids which is arguably worse for making plans,” Wren explains with a laugh. “Sometimes, I get so stir crazy that I just have to go out, with or without them.”

“That makes sense.” A plan forms in Kaidan’s head. “Why don’t we go see it together? I think I could make up for the hole in security.”

Wren’s face brightens.

“I’m pretty sure you could take the entire security team single handed, if I’m remembering correctly. Would you really be okay with that though? I assumed you were busy since you haven’t been around the last couple of days.”

“Just doing some house cleaning.” This pulls a curious look from Wren. “But it’s done. Let’s go out,” he says with an encouraging smile.

“Okay! There’s another showing tonight.”

“Do you want to get dinner before or after?”

Wren hums in thought. “Let’s go before, the next showing is a little late to get dinner afterwards. What are you in the mood for?”

“I know a place. Wear something nice.” Wren’s eyes sparkle with excitement at his words. Her mood seems to have made a full recovery and then some.

“Great! It’s a date!” Wren says happily.

“It’s a date,” Kaidan echoes softly, staring at her with warm eyes. The solemn tone catches Wren’s attention and her smile wavers for a moment. She looks away quickly before glancing back, a nervous laugh escaping under her breath. Her mouth opens as if she has something to say but it closes with a snap and she turns to unlock her apartment door.

“See you later then,” is all she says before stepping into the apartment.

Kaidan walks to his own apartment to get ready. Wren’s response is somewhat mystifying, but Kaidan simply shrugs it off. If Wren doesn’t want to do something, she’ll say as much. He knows how direct the woman can be, especially if she doesn’t like something.

It’s nice, being able to wear something besides his military fatigues. Kaidan spends a good amount of time getting ready for the date, enjoying the luxury of choice when it comes to his attire. After the war ended he was thrown head first into endless amounts of work to train others and rebuild. His work, especially as the only human specter and a member of the Normandy, was pretty significant. Admittedly, most of what he took on was his attempt to drown his mind in work so he didn’t drown in his grief. Regardless, he was pretty much constrained to his military uniform before and after the end of the war. Not having to worry about their wardrobes while they fought for the galaxy was convenient, but Kaidan likes to clean up every now and again.

Clean shaven and hair neatly done, Kaidan slips on a crisp white button up. He’s opted for a classic look that's popular on earth, instead of the overly formal, stuffy suits people like to wear on the Citadel. He thinks it’ll match Wren’s style more anyway, she seems to like the clothing she sees in shows and movies from old earth vids. He checks his watch, purely an accessory with an omnitool on his arm, and grabs a leather jacket before walking over to Wren’s apartment. Instead of knocking, Kaidan messages her to see if she’s ready and leans against the wall across the hall from her door to wait. Not a minute after he’s sent the message, her door opens. Wren is fidgeting with the hem of her dress when she steps out. She jumps when she sees Kaidan waiting in the hall.

“Ah! Oh my god— you can’t do that to me.” Wren puts a hand to her racing heart.

Kaidan’s lips purse in an honest attempt not to laugh. But he can’t help the smile that curls on his lips as he admires her dress. Or, rather how the dress looks on her. Damn, she is gorgeous.

A little distracted, it takes a moment for Kaidan to realize he’s staring and lift his eyes. Wren definitely caught him based on the smug smile slowly forming on her lips. Which sends Kaidan’s heart racing, not because he was caught but because of her reaction.

“See something you like?” Wren asks with a sly smile, twirling slowly in her silky little black dress and short heels.

“Mmm,” Kaidan’s voice is husky, deep enough to make his thoughts obvious. “Dessert before dinner? You spoil me,” Kaidan says, because his inhibition is out the window apparently. A nervous smile plays on her lips as her eyes widen in surprise. She takes a step closer.

“I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your appetite.” Her eyes steal a glance at his lips, voice a soft whisper. Kaidan tilts his head, eyes travelling slowly up and down her body. They linger on her lips before returning to her gaze.

“Actually, I feel starved,” Kaidan says, content to watch her flush under his gaze.

“Well,” Wren says, breathless. “Guess we should get that dinner then.” She takes a step back, eyes still trained on Kaidan, before turning suddenly on a heel. That same sweet scent that lingers in Kaidan’s mind follows her.

Kaidan gives himself a few seconds to process what the hell just happened before he pushes off the wall to catch up to Wren, suddenly far more confident in his chances today. Wren glances at him after he offers his arm, slowly weaving her own around his. He can feel her gaze on him the whole way to the restaurant, shy and inquisitive. He looks over a few times with a gentle smile, trying to assuage her nerves. Eventually, she smiles back. It’s small and sweet and hopeful. At least, that's how Kaidan wishfully interprets the look she gives him.

The space between the two is one of silence, somehow comfortable and charged at the same time. No commute takes too long with a skycar, but the stolen glances and darker atmosphere as they travel into a low-lit district stretches the time. Kaidan mulls over his words, searching for the exact ones he wants to say, and how he wants to say them. He may have ‘experience’ with romance but his heart and mind still race. He loves her after all.

Kaidan offers her a hand once they arrive and the two walk into one of the nicer restaurants he had discovered in his time here. They’re seated quickly upon arrival in a dimly lit alcove overlooking the ward.

“This is nice,” Wren smiles, eyes glued to the window. “Is, um… Is there a reason or an occasion…?” Her voice trails off uncertainly.

Kaidan hums, taking a sip of the iced water. It cools his burning insides as he figures out how to respond.

“No occasion. Well, maybe that’s not quite true,” Kaidan chuckles. He looks at Wren with a soft smile. “There’s a lot I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time. But I want to start with thank you.” Wren looks away from the window to blink at Kaidan in surprise. “It’s been tough, all of the missions against Cerberus. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help.”

“…my help?” Wren asks, puzzled. “But I didn’t help fight Cerberus.”

“You helped me. You took care of my apartment while I was gone. And when I was here, you took care of me. I’ve lost a lot, to the Reapers, to Cerberus, to my grief.” Kaidan’s voice softens. “Finally putting an end to Cerberus is bringing me closure, but it’s the time in between the missions that I think about the most. I didn’t expect the Citadel to ever feel like home, but that's what you gave me. A place to rest and heal. I know it was difficult for you to stay behind, so thank you. For your trust and support.”

“There’s no need to thank me,” Wren objects gently, although she seems elated at Kaidan’s words. “I did all of that because I wanted to. And… truthfully, I’m so grateful. You said you would’ve done it anyway, go after Cerberus, but you still saved my life. And continue to do so. At first, it stung knowing you’d be fighting them without me. I felt useless and guilty. But you gave me a chance to stop running and fighting every second I was alive, or trying to distract myself from the fact that I should be. And that peace helped me realize what I really want to focus on.” Kaidan looks at her with curiosity, but she laughs shyly and waves away the unspoken question. “I’ll tell you another time. But, uhm, yeah it’s been pretty nice, not being dead. So, thanks.”

“I’ll toast to that,” Kaidan chuckles and Wren laughs in agreement.

Their dinner passes with light hearted banter, their familiarity and easy connection softening any tension that might follow such a serious conversation. The food is even better than Kaidan remembers it, but that could be the company. Wren melts over the intricate plating and flavor pairings, and basically interrogates Kaidan on what he likes about the dishes so she can attempt to replicate it. The entire exchange gives Kaidan a steadfast certainty about his decision. He can’t think of a better way to spend the rest of his days than with her.

When they finish their meal, and a generous serving of dessert upon Wren’s request, Wren starts explaining the general premise of the movie. There’s plenty of time before it starts so they take their time walking the ward’s halls. Kaidan watches Wren happily gush over the adorable dog the movie is about. The more he hears, the greater his apprehension grows.

“Wren,” Kaidan starts with a raised brow. She hums, smiling in question. “Is… Hm, I don’t want to ruin it for you, but is this supposed to be a happy movie?”

“Of course!” Wren frowns. “It's about a cute little puppy.”

She stops abruptly, seeing the look of amused concern on Kaidan’s face.

“Unbelievable.” Arms crossed in anger, Wren glares at the elevator doors as the two ascend. “Who would make a movie about a pet that ends with the pet dying?”

“It’s basically its own genre at this point,” Kaidan shrugs. Wren glares at him, and he can’t help but break into a small smile. The pouting is adorable. Kaidan gently eases her hands into his.

“Hey, why don’t you come over? We can watch something else.” Wren’s frown softens quickly under Kaidan’s attention.

“…Only if you make your hot chocolate again. The one with rum in it.”

“Deal.”

The elevator door slides open and they walk to Kaidan’s apartment. Kaidan hangs his jacket up and rolls up his sleeves to the elbow, wasting no time on getting started on the hot chocolate. He can hear Wren moving around his apartment and smiles at the comforting presence of her being in his space.

“So, is there something else you want to watch?”

“Hmm… Maybe. I’m content with the current show.” Kaidan can hear the smile in her voice, and turns to see it. She sits on a stool at the kitchen island, enveloped in that hoodie she always steals when she's here. Kaidan has taken to just leaving it on the couch for her since he rarely uses it anyway. Her grin is wide and content, watching him stir the heating milk while she leans lazily against the island.

“Who taught you how to make this?”

“My grandmother, she passed away when I was young.” Kaidan’s memories drift to snowy days spent warm inside, his grandparent’s cabin deep in the country, and gentle hands cradling his, showing him how to stir to keep the milk from burning. His lips quirk into a melancholy smile.

“Fond memories?” Wren asks softly.

“Yeah.” Kaidan begins mixing all the ingredients together to pour into tall, mismatched mugs that Wren had brought the last time they had coffee together. He doesn't know where she got them but he likes them more than his all black set. “It's been a long time since I’ve thought about her.”

“Do you remember much? It must've been a long time ago.”

“Are you calling me old?” Kaidan smirks while he hands her a full mug with a mountain of whipped cream on top.

“No,” Wren laughs. “All my memories feel so… recent. Even the ones from childhood. They don't even feel like they're mine, well, because they aren't I guess. Just bundles of artificial images planted in my brain.”

Kaidan sits beside her and hums in curiosity. This is the first time he's thought about it like that.

“I guess I am old then, in comparison to you.” Wren grimaces, lowering her mug of hot chocolate.

“Don’t make this weird, we’re nearly the same age in any way that matters.” Kaidan quickly apologizes despite his amusement, seeing her very serious frown.

“When were you—“ Kaidan waves his hands vaguely, unsure how to phrase his question.

“Don’t you know better than to ask a woman’s age,” Wren says before taking an angry sip of hot cocoa.

“No, for your birthday. It seems a little silly that I don’t know it.” Kaidan smiles.

“Oh.” Wren relaxes again. “I’m not certain actually, but I like September.” Kaidan tilts his head in curiosity, prompting Wren into a long explanation of why fall is her favorite season despite having never experienced seasons. It’s not unheard of for people to go their whole life without stepping planetside. But Kaidan can tell Wren is desperate to see more, filled with the same wanderlust that brought humans to the stars.

“Hey,” Kaidan interjects softly, weaving his fingers around his. Wren’s eyes widen, glancing briefly at their hands before staring at Kaidan. “Do you want to go to earth with me? Canada is beautiful in the fall.”

For a long moment Wren just stares. She visibly swallows before speaking next.

“I’d love to… Kaidan—“

“I love you.” Kaidan interrupts softly. “No matter what happens, you’re important to me. As a friend or something more, I want you in my life. But I needed you to know.” Kaidan searches her expression for rejection, reciprocation, anything. “I understand if you moved on after-“

Wren cuts him off, leaning in to kiss him, tender and slow. Like early mornings on Earth. Like the snowfall in the deep woods of Canada.

She pulls away, just far enough to gauge his reaction. Kaidan can see the same smoldering warmth he feels mirrored in her eyes. He slowly pulls the mug of hot chocolate from her hand and places it on the counter. Then he stands and gathers her into his arms, savoring the taste of rum and sugar on her lips. The warm skin of her thighs in his hands. The pressure of her legs wrapped around his hips.

“So,” Wren breaks away, slightly breathless. “Did you still want to watch something, or…” She eyes the door to his bedroom. Kaidan chuckles, Wren’s laughter joining in softly.

“You know I’m serious about this, yeah?” Kaidan asks gently. “I just want to make sure we’re in the same place. I don’t want to hold you back, but I don’t share and I don’t want something temporary.”

“Kaidan,” Wren smiles, tangling her fingers into his hairs. “You mean the world to me. You… Us, that’s my priority. Nothing could change that, not even the end of the world.”

Who would've known it would be so easy? But it so often is with her. Like their step was always in sync, their trajectory perfectly parallel, their hearts beating in time. This feeling is probably what inspired the phrase when stars align.

Kaidan steals another kiss before trailing his lips down her throat, inhaling that dizzyingly sweet scent. Her fingers tightening in his hair draws a deep, appreciative hum from his lips.

“I love you,” Kaidan repeats, over and over as he kisses and bites at her throat, leaving proof of his affection on her skin. She’s flushed and gasping by the time he lifts his head, eyes half-lidded and burning with desire.

“Yeah,” Wren gasps, squeezing her legs around him a little tighter. “The movie can wait.”

“The movie can wait,” Kaidan agrees with a smile, carrying her to the bedroom.

Five Years Later

“Watching vids when the real thing is right here?” Wren asks softly, voice laden with sleep.

Kaidan pauses the video, one in a long series of cooking tutorials Wren has made over the years. Her love for film and food spiraled into a rather successful career making vids on food and culture on Earth, with an emphasis on adaptations that made it more accessible to those not on Earth, humans and alien races alike. Kaidan has been secretly obsessed with them since the first episode, the natural progression of being not-so-secretly obsessed with his wife.

“Habit,” he admits with a chuckle. “This is the first time in years you’ve joined me off planet. I usually watch one before I start the day.”

“Aw, Kaidan,” Wren sleepily drapes herself over his body, pressing little kisses into his collarbone. “Thank you, darling.”

He smiles, perfectly content, as he plays the vid silently while Wren doses in and out of sleep in his arms. She snuggles deeper into his side as he absentmindedly plays with her long, soft curls.

Eventually, the vid ends and he commits to getting up for the day. Most of his work was on Earth nowadays, but a typical day during his trips to the Citadel involved a litany of work for the Alliance and the Council as an extension of his duties as a Specter and an Officer. He’d transitioned into more administrative and mentoring roles after fully eradicating Cerberus from the galaxy, only taking to field work for training purposes and to stomp out any sparks of a possible Cerberus resurgence (it’s personal). Even those grew fewer as the new human Specters, James Vega being one of them, settled into their roles. That, and the galactic recognition that anything even remotely tied to Cerberus would be brutally and mercilessly crushed by the L2 Specter with a grudge, and Kaidan was sitting pretty behind a desk most of the time. The work can be a little dry, but he loves to see those serving under him flourish. More importantly, he didn’t want to miss any more time with his loved ones, which meant less time with bullets flying around his face. He's content with the battles he's fought and won up to now.

“Ready, love?” Kaidan kisses Wren on the forehead, staring fondly as she huffs and slowly sits up. “I think I remember you saying ‘I’m so excited to see everyone, I won’t be able to sleep.’”

“That was before I fell asleep,” Wren mumbles around a yawn as she shuffles toward the bathroom. Kaidan wraps a hand around her waist and pulls her away from the door frame she was about to walk into. Amused, Kaidan guides the two of them into the shower.

“Will you vlog today?” Kaidan asks, running shampoo through his hair while Wren stands somewhat listlessly beneath the spray.

“Nah. No work today. Just family.” Wren blinks awake, the gears in her mind turning. “I should bring a camera though. Oh my god, this is nerve wracking. But I’m so excited!”

And just like that, Wren is bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to attack the day with a level of chaotic energy that Kaidan calmly admires from behind a cup of coffee.

The reunion is at Traynor’s apartment, which just so happens to be the apartment Kaidan cleaned out five years back. Traynor and her wife had to spend a lot of their time on the Citadel for work, so Kaidan had offered the place to them. There’s no one he trusted more than the power couple that was Samantha Traynor and her AI-engineer wife, Veronica. When he had shown them the place, Traynor had said, “It’s certainly no white picket fence, but it’ll do.” Then proceeded to wrap Kaidan in a fierce hug with misty eyes.

And now Kaidan has returned some years later and could hear the raucous laughter of Normandy’s squad behind the apartment door. Wren pauses just outside and takes a deep breath.

“Hey, you alright?” Kaidan takes her hand and runs a thumb along her knuckles comfortingly.

“Yeah! Just…” Wren bites her lips nervously. “It’s been a while since I’ve been around so many people at once, and she’s so peaceful right now...”

Kaidan pulls her into a hug, speaking gently. “Hey, you know them. They’ll do whatever you ask, no need to be nervous.” Wren nods against his shoulder, leaning heavily into his embrace. “Why don’t I go in first and ask everyone to be quiet? Give you two some time to acclimate?”

“That would be nice. Thank you, Kaidan,” Wren responds gently, leaning up to kiss him. He smiles and returns it with one of his own before turning back to the apartment. A wave of loud cheering sounds when he walks through the door and he’s immediately grateful he thought to come in separately.

“Okay, it’s good to see you too, but I’m going to need you all to turn the volume all the way down,” Kaidan says, eyeing the overly excited group with a stern look. Everyone starts loudly shushing each other, a couple of stray elbows finding ribs. He gives the room a final glare to get the point across before poking his head out of the apartment.

“Ready?” Kaidan asks. Wren and his daughter Jacquline smile at him, the sight so endearing he’s forced to step out of the apartment fully to smother them in a hug. Wren laughs and Jacquline immediately starts giggling in response to the sound. A little slice of heaven.

“Ready, Jack?” Wren asks, playfully booping the two-year-old’s nose. Kaidan frowns.

“It’s Jacquline, she has class,” Kaidan says for the thousandth time, though there’s no strength behind it. Wren simply rolls her eyes with a grin.

“Yeah, yeah. C’mon, Jacquline,” Wren says with a highbrow french accent for emphasis. “Time for you to meet the rest of your family.”