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Chapter Text

Harry’s stomach was in knots the morning they were set to move to his father’s childhood house. He wanted more than anything to go there and to see how he’d grown up and to be surrounded by things he’d touched, but he was scared too. Grimmauld Place had come to be home and he didn’t really want to leave it. Even though it was old and a bit creepy, it had provided him with the one thing he never thought he’d truly get - family. And even though his dad’s old house was amazing by Remus and Sirius’ descriptions, it was still a big change, and change was hard even if it was positive. At least that’s what his therapist said.

It was nice to see Sirius so excited about moving, though. Harry hadn’t realised Sirius wasn’t completely happy in Grimmauld Place until they'd decided upon moving and suddenly he was ten times more excitable than usual. The last few days Harry had been woken up by Padfoot barking at his door at a stupidly early hour. Those days Harry tried to get Remus to take him, but his godfathers’ bedroom door was always locked with a ‘no dogs allowed’ sign hastily spell-o-taped to the door.

Packing up his room hadn’t taken long. For thirteen years Harry owned just enough to fit into his school trunk and nothing more. Even though he got pocket money now, and Sirius thought it fun to waste his family money on more things than Harry could ever want, old habits die hard and he still didn’t have much to his name.

In some ways, he preferred it like that. So, he had a trunk, Hedwig in her cage, his firebolt, and an old backpack full of the things he’d amassed in two years of knowing his godparents. Sirius had given him and his pitiful collection of items a wounded look before announcing his intentions of ‘spoiling him rotten’ from that day forward. Like he didn’t already.

With everything ready, and Buckbeak eyeing them all with her usual disdain, they paused in the entranceway. 

“Alright,” Sirius was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his cheerful energy infectious. “Moony darling, you first.”

Harry laughed as Remus shrunk the boxes around him and filled his pockets with them, making even the wand movement look long-suffering. When he’d piled as many boxes on his person as he could, he disapparated with a crack.

He was back within a minute to collect the final boxes.

“Nearly forgot something,” Remus said, straight-faced. It was only after spending months with his old professor that Harry recognised his slight smirk for the trouble it was. He barely had time to wish Sirius and Buckbeak a safe flight before he was accio ’d into Remus’ arms and whisked away.

*

They landed laughing, the sickening lurch of apparition barely registering in Harry’s mind. He’d forgotten to get nervous about it.

He was still laughing as he straightened up and looked around. His jaw dropped open.

“Nice, isn’t it?”

“Nice?” Harry sounded faint. The house in front of him couldn’t be called a house. It was a palace. “My dad lived here?”

Remus laughed, “you’re reacting better than I did the first time I saw this place. I almost ran away.”

Harry made a garbled sound in reply. The Potter Estate was like nothing he’d ever seen before. It was the kind of place he imagined families like the Malfoys living - all sweeping driveways and servants quarters and stables out back - it didn’t click in his mind that this was his. This is what he’d inherited. He’d always thought of Godric’s Hollow as his dad’s house. The small, family sized cottage which he didn’t remember at all but could picture clearly in his mind’s eye, that was where he was from. Not this. For some reason the only coherent thought running through his head was ‘thank god the Dursleys didn’t know about this.’

“Help me bring these inside. Your godfather will be an hour or so I’d imagine.”

Harry did what he was told to on autopilot. The miniature boxes weighed almost nothing at all and he stuffed them into his trouser pockets before following Remus up the gravel driveway. When they reached the huge front doors, which looked a bit like the doors into Hogwarts, Harry thought, they opened at his touch. Magic flowed through his veins then, like the feeling he’d had when he picked up his wand for the first time; this was magic that was meant for him and it felt right. 

His first step into the entrance hall echoed. Once again, his touch seemed to trigger something in the house and quicker than he could whip his head around to watch, the room came to life. Great clouds of dust rose into the air and vanished out of now open windows, marble floors were uncovered from layers of grime, and the stale smell in the air was replaced with the scent of freshly cut grass and summer flowers.

Harry didn’t know what to think. He looked back to Remus who was still waiting on the doorstep and looking around the hallway like he thought he’d never see it again. Harry turned back to look around the room. It had settled down, everything sparkling clean and looking like it was full of life, but Harry knew no one had been in here since his grandparents had died. It had only been a few months before his parents had been murdered. Sirius said that he and James hadn’t been able to face the empty manor in those months, and then the choice had been taken away from them.

It was exactly as it had been left. The thought bounced around his head. It was exactly the same as it was when his father had lived here! Harry emptied his pockets of the tiny storage boxes and raced through the first door he saw.

A ballroom. Dust disappeared and sunshine shone through newly uncovered windows. He went through the next door.

A formal dining room. Spoons shuffled in their drawers where they were being polished. Harry laughed and ran through the next door.

A sitting room. Faces in portraits turned to him as one, in shock as they saw someone for the first time in fifteen years. Harry searched every face, but they didn’t contain the ones he wanted to see. Through the next door.

Room after room revamped itself before his eyes. Everything he touched turned to perfection under his fingers. His laughter rang through the house and he heard Remus echo it, drawn into Harry’s world and seeing the house for the first time again through his eyes.

Harry ran into the next room. Remus was there, staring at a portrait that hung above the fireplace. Harry’s parents were staring out at him, holding a tiny baby that must have been him, and an elderly couple stood next to them smiling so large it looked like their faces would burst. This was the scene Harry saw in the Mirror of Erised. His family, whole. He heard Remus sniff next to him and he turned. Remus may not look like him, might not have his brown skin or his black hair or his green eyes. He might be 5 inches taller than Harry would ever achieve and speak with a completely different accent, but he was still Harry’s family too. That’s what the last few years had taught him. Family could be found anywhere.

*

Harry and Remus were still exploring when Sirius arrived. Harry was in his father’s old room, fighting with his warring emotions. He wanted to touch everything, to uncover bit by bit the man his father had been, but at the same time everything was too precious and it didn’t really feel like his. Harry didn’t know where Remus had gone. He’d disappeared with the miniature boxes sometime after Harry had spotted the quidditch pitch from one of the upstairs windows and begged for them to play a match.

“Brings back memories, doesn’t it?” Harry turned around at Remus’ voice and saw his godparents standing in the doorway, wrapped up in each other. Sirius curled one arm around Remus’ waist and used the other to wipe at his eyes.

“For a second there, I thought…”

“I know, Pads.”

Harry ducked his head. He knew what they’d thought. Standing in this room with his back to them it must have looked just like his dad was still with them. Harry had never believed it when people said he looked just like James until he’d seen that portrait hanging in the living room. Even years older, the resemblance between them was obvious. Harry had stared in the mirror after he’d spotted a school-age portrait of James waving at him. He mapped out his features with a new fervour.

His nose belonged to James. His wild hair belonged to his father and his grandfather before him. His chin belonged to his mother. His green eyes too. His sense of right and wrong came from Remus. His loyalty from Sirius.

He was made up of the people who’d loved him most.

“Tell me about them.” Harry had never asked so boldly before. He knew it hurt them to talk about, sometimes. But in this place, surrounded by everything he should have known, it would have been worse not to talk about it. Harry watched Sirius smile and Remus hug him a little closer. They felt the same, Harry was sure of it.

They sat on the floor.

“Where shall we start?”

Harry stared at the photo on the wall by the mirror. His mum and dad, smiling at each other and not the camera, Remus and Sirius rolling their eyes at them but holding hands themselves, Peter Pettigrew standing next to them with a good natured, long suffering look on his boyish face.

“Anywhere.”

Chapter Text

“Hey, Evans! Wait up.”

Lily shouldered her bag and walked out of the classroom, ignoring James’ calls. She had more important things to worry about than him trying to get her attention yet again. Petunia had returned her latest letter unopened. Somehow the lack of response felt worse than the rambling replies she used to receive about how stupid Hogwarts was and how much fun she was having at home without Lily. At least she could read between the lines of those letters to realise Tuney had some okay friends at school and mum and dad were doing okay. Now she had nothing to go off. Her parents tried to gloss over things in their letters, but it didn’t help the hurt that followed Lily to school every year. 

“Evans! Look, you want to sit next to me for dinner later?” Marlene had failed her last potions essay and she’d promised to help tutor her. Maybe they should go over the temporary deafening potion. That was sure to come up in their OWLs, and if she played things right she might be able to steal some to use for times like this. “C’mon, I broke up with the Hufflepuff hottie last week - you know I need a Gryffindor girl now.”

That was the last straw. That stupid bet James had started at the beginning of the year. She’d heard him telling Sirius and Peter about it on her first ever prefect round. Lily’s blood pressure rose every time she remembered his arrogant voice boasting that he’d date a girl from every house by the end of the year. Her blood boiling, Lily spun around to face James. She could feel her hands tense into fists by her side.

“Listen here Potter. I am not, nor will I ever be your ‘Gryffindor girl’ and quite frankly I think this bet you have is sick.” She turned to leave but thought better of it, “you think you can just waltz about this castle and pick up anyone you want, but newsflash - you can’t. Girls aren’t dares, Potter.”

She felt a little better as she turned to leave the classroom, and even better when she heard the thwack of Remus’ heavy textbook cuff Potter around the ears. She laughed and grabbed Marlene’s hand. They had work to do if that deafening potion was going to be ready for the next time she was bothered by James Potter.

--

“You okay, Rem?”

They were doing their nighttime prefect rounds together like always, but something was different this time, and not just the fact that every student was obeying curfew for once. Remus was shuffling and quiet, and he was trying to hide it but he was definitely wincing every time they had to go up or down the stairs. They’d only started to properly hang out this year but Lily already counted him as one of her closest friends and, being one of her close friends, she couldn’t help but notice certain...patterns of behaviour.

“Just peachy, Lils.” Remus tried for a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes and Lily knew, then, that her theory was right. “Reckon you can levitate me down the stairs so I don’t have to walk them though?”

“It wouldn’t even be a challenge, but that’s not what I meant.” Remus sped up, a hunted look in his eye. Lily’s heart started beating more quickly, fear that this knowledge would drive Remus further from her rather than make her his confidant making her panic. She darted in front of him and put a hand on his arm to stop him walking through her. “Wait! Remus, I know. I know, and it’s okay.”

“Know what.”

She glanced around and lowered her voice, “I know you’re a werewolf, and I don’t care.”

To her surprise, Remus didn’t try to deny it, he didn’t even try to get away. Instead, he laughed and rubbed his eyes with his palms.

“You know, you really should give James a chance.” He laughed again, “Merlin, you give him a run for his money in the do-gooder department.”

“What’s Potter got to do with this?” Remus never really spoke about his ‘Marauder’ friends while they were together, not unless she asked about them. She didn’t exactly want to speak about them now.

“Nothing...just that’s almost exactly what he said when he found out.”

“They know?” Somehow she wasn’t surprised. They’d been a gang since first year and despite the trouble they got into, they were surprisingly protective of Remus. Lily thought back to the times James had hexed anyone who questioned his scars, of how Peter would take the blame for anything that might get Remus a detention on days like this, how Sirius took notes more studiously when Remus wasn’t in class than he ever would have normally.

“Are you kidding? As if I could get anything past those idiots.” Remus linked his arm through hers and they started walking again, him leaning against her for support in a way she never would have thought he would. It felt good, being let into Remus’ circle. Safe and comforting despite his sharp tongue. “They found out in second year.”

“Of course they did,” she rolled her eyes, the thought of them figuring something out before her not registering as more than a feeble annoyance. She squeezed Remus’ arm and grinned at him cheekily when he looked over, “just because we’re best friends now doesn’t mean I have to like your idiots.”

“Sometimes I don’t even like my idiots. And I don’t recall agreeing to ‘best friends’ - I think you might need to fight James for that one.”

“Not Sirius?”

The blush that coloured Remus’ freckled face was very interesting. Very, very interesting.

--

“I have a bone to pick with you.”

Lily linked arms with Remus, just like they’d done every time they shared prefect duty ever since that one patrol the year before.

“Mmmhmm,” Remus had a dozy look on his face as he watched Sirius disappear into the common room.

“Hey!” Lily snapped her fingers in front of his face, “this is what I’m talking about! Now you’re all officially loved up, your idiot leader is venturing out into the common room. It’s taking away from my peace.”

“Boo,” Remus wasn’t apologetic in the least. “He’s not bothering you, is he?”

“No,” Lily grumbled, “which is the weird thing.”

“We told him to cool it. Nice to know he’s finally grown up enough to take our advice.” Lily secretly agreed. 

She’d noticed a change in James this year. He was quieter, less arrogant. When he came to sit out in the common room he sat with anyone who looked like they wanted company and he almost always left them laughing and happier than they had been before. With Sirius and Remus off on dates every other day, and Peter with his latest girlfriend camping out in the Ravenclaw common room, Lily had expected James’ attention to shift right back to where it had always been before - on her. It was nice this way around. She was the one watching him now, and she didn’t exactly hate what she saw. Not as much as she had before, anyway.

“I wrote to my sister again,” Lily said. Remus always heard about her weekly attempts to sway Petunia. “She replied this time, but I wouldn’t exactly call it progress. She wrote back to brag about this oaf she’s seeing. Guess what his name is. Go on, guess it.”

Remus laughed and Lily watched fondly as it took years off his face. Before he could fail at guessing Vernon Dursley , she saw a face she never wanted to see again.

“Something funny, mutt?” Severus’ drawl made her skin itch. He used to use that tone to mock the people they hated. Now he was the person she hated. 

“Don’t you dare,” Lily had her wand out and pointed at his chest before Remus had even stopped laughing. “Call him that again and you’ll regret it.”

“I got it when I saw you looking at Potter.” Sev’s eyes flashed. He used to say he loved her temper, back when she used it to protect him. “Someone like you will only be safe on the arms of a pureblood heir. The only thing lower than your type are half-breeds.”

“What did you just say?” 

“Lily, it’s not worth it. Let’s go.”

“Oh no,” her laughter was cutting, “he can’t get away with saying things like that. Ignis sermo. See how that feels, Severus. ”

“Lily, what did you do?” Remus was pulling on her arm more insistently now, but Lily wanted to see Severus understand the effect of his words. Just once, he needed to know how painful they were to hear. Needed to feel that pain himself.

“As if a mudblood like you could -” but before he could finish his sentence a great gust of fire burst from his lips, lingering in his mouth as he cried out. It only lasted a few seconds. Lily regretted they’d come to this.

She let Remus pull her away and didn’t object to the healing spell he quickly shot behind them. He’d been dealing with the ugliness of the wizarding world longer than she had, but she knew the words hurt him just as much. She didn’t mind being the one to stand up for them both if he continued to be the one to get them out of trouble.

--

“Hey Lily,” James’ voice was quiet and Lily forgot to be annoyed at him as she looked away from her notes. “Can I help you with your books?”

At her bemused expression he glanced around the deserted library, running a hand through his already messy hair, and she realised what he meant. “It’s curfew.” 

She used to stay out past curfew without thinking twice about it. She was a prefect, it wasn’t like it was against the rules. And even when she snuck her friends out with her it didn’t faze her in the slightest. But since she’d hexed Severus, things were getting bad. The already rising tension in the castle became almost unbearable and it seemed like a fight broke out every day now. Always for the same reasons.

Lily wasn’t the only one to take offence to what Severus said. Severus wasn’t the only one who thought the way he did.

They were calling themselves ‘Death Eaters’ like they weren’t all just a bunch of kids.

Two months ago, Lily would never have dreamed of letting James walk with her to the common room. Two months ago, Lily would have stayed in the library for another hour without any fear. But this wasn’t two months ago.

“You can walk with me, but I’m taking my books.”

“You’re the boss,” James’ wink was at least still as infuriating as it had been two months ago. 

The walk was mostly silent, just the sound of their shoes on the stone floor echoing off the walls for company. When they’d been walking for five minutes James cleared his throat.

“I wanted to say sorry.” Lily startled, those were words she hadn’t ever heard James say, and for once she didn’t know what they could be about. “For, you know, the constant asking you out and everything. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I had a crush and I didn’t know how to make you like me and I was an idiot.”

Lily snorted, “who told you that?”

“Ah well,” James ran his hand through his hair again, “just about everyone I’ve ever met. Thought it was about time to start paying attention to that sorta thing.”

“Thank you.” The apology wasn’t going to solve anything, but it felt like a good first step. “Maybe we can be friends.”

The way James perked up at those words was like something out of a comic strip.

“For real?”

“Well, Remus is awfully fond of you and he’s one of my best friends. I think there’s a code somewhere that states friends of best friends have to also be friends...or something.”

“That makes no sense, Evans.” James laughed and a second later Lily joined in. 

It felt nice to laugh with James. He was a fresh start, someone she was coming to realise that she didn’t really know. After years spent with Severus trying to reconcile the boy she’d grown up with and the hateful man he was turning into, it was time for a change. And, more than ever before, Lily felt the need to find people who thought like her and would stand up against the tide of hatred coming their way. James, the pureblood son of one of the richest couples in England, the boy who’d worked out his friend was a werewolf at age twelve and stuck by his side, the man who included everyone in his idiotic, hare-brained, fun plans - maybe he was one of those people.

--

“And then I said I wouldn’t ever go out with someone who didn’t know who George Harrison is anyway, never mind the fact he’s you know - a guy - and you know what he said?” Marlene was howling with laughter, “he said - ‘I might not know who that is but I know how to give you a good time, know what I mean.’”

Lily snorted with laughter. She’d claimed the good seats for her and her friends and they sat around the fireplace in the common room, lamenting the fact that nobody in the castle had any brains at all. 

“How men have this much confidence, I’ll never know.” She snorted again as she pictured Elven, Marlene’s would-be suitor, “I mean...has he seen the pubes growing on his chin?”

Marlene shrieked, sliding down the chair.

“Lily, I love you,” Dorcas wiped tears from her eyes. “Nothing like boys being dumb to make my evening better.”

“Speaking of…” Lily rolled her eyes at the now quite common image of James Potter walking into the common room all alone. Sirius and Remus were no doubt off studying together or on a date somewhere - Lily had finally got the truth from Remus last week that Sirius took him to the Room of Requirement and played him piano when he was tired after the full moons - and Peter was dating Beatrice Bover from Ravenclaw.

“Oi, Potter!” Marlene shouted from her position on the floor. Lily hissed at her, kicking her in the shin. She didn’t want James to ruin her evening. “Come over here, would you?”

James swaggered over, “ladies, what can I do for ya?”

“Go away.” Lily swiped a kick at him, too.

“No, stay.” Marlene was still laughing, “I want to know why your kind have so much confidence. Like, where does it come from? Is there an infinite supply? Do they not sense I’m not interested?”

“Ah, so Elfy Elven asked you out again?” James sat on the edge of the sofa and rested a foot on his thigh, leaning forward. “I hope you said no.”

Dorcas chucked a cushion at his face that he caught and hugged to his chest. “Obviously.”

“Mmm,” James put on an act of thinking deeply, “lack of societal pressures, yes, but the smart ones know you only have eyes for Dorky.”

“That’s not her name.” Lily snapped.

“Aw, come on Evans. I thought you’d stopped assuming the worst of me,” he did that annoying hair ruffle thing, “it’s an affectionate nickname. She calls me Potty - fairs fair.”

“Since when do you have affectionate nicknames for each other?” Lily narrowed her eyes at Dorcas.

“Since he’s been helping me practice quidditch for the try-outs after the holidays.” Dorcas stretched her arm behind her head, patting Marlene on the cheek, “I have to stay fit to keep her eyes on me, you know. Lots of eligible bachelors waiting to snap her up.”

“Piss off,” Marlene laughed again and Lily envied their ease in being around each other. She’d never really wanted a relationship, but now two of her best friends were part of sickeningly cute couples she realised she wanted that too. Maybe not the piano playing or tickling each other in the middle of the common room like Marlene was currently being subjected to, but there was a part of her that wanted to be somebody’s person.

She looked up and around, a joke on the tip of her tongue, but James had gone. Lily tried her best to ignore the disappointment she felt as she saw him laughing with a couple of seventh years on the other side of the common room.

She turned back to her best friends, “so - what did Elf face say when you said no?”

--

The day of Remus’ 17th birthday was a beautiful spring Saturday, and it would have been perfect if not for the full moon just two days before. Lily had snuck into the hospital wing with James, Sirius, and Peter the day after the moon but Remus had been asleep. Lily hadn’t seen him so soon after the full moon before and it was a shock to see just how brutal the transformation was on him. Bright red lines criss-crossed the pale skin Lily could see and countless bandages were wrapped around his body. His face was pale and drawn, but he smiled slightly when Sirius cupped his cheek.

He was back at the breakfast table for his birthday though, laughing along with his friends and holding hands with Sirius underneath the table like they thought they were being subtle. Lily walked straight over to him when she came down for breakfast.

“Happy birthday Re!” She hugged him tight and pecked him on the cheek - she could only ever do that when he was sitting and she was standing - and dropped his present into his hands. “This is for you.”

“Lily, you didn’t have -”

“Shut up Lupin, just open it would you.” She perched on the table as he unwrapped the present slowly. His slow smile when he realised what she’d got him was worth the dent it had made in her allowance. “See, knew you’d like it.”

“I love it!” Remus grinned at her and patted the book where it was sat on the table, ‘ 1984’ emblazoned across the cover. They’d been talking about muggle classics a few weeks ago, when after Christmas Lily had come home with a huge stack of books. As supportive as her parents were with the whole witch thing, they hated that she was missing out on a ‘normal’ education. Luckily, Lily liked the books more than she did the maths lessons her mother tried to force her through every break.

“I wanna see,” Sirius leaned into Remus’ space, practically crawling onto his lap, all the while giving Lily a side-eye that had been honed to perfection. “It’s not better than my present, right Moony?”

“Oh, it’s miles better.” 

Lily left them to their bickering and wandered back over to her usual seat. Sirius’ dramatic gasps could still be heard on her end of the table. 

When she sat down and went to fill her bowl with cereal she noticed writing at the centre of the bowl. Perfect cursive which looked like it was part of the design. If she hadn’t been eating from the same type of bowl every year for six years, Lily wouldn’t have even looked twice. But she couldn’t help the curiosity that overtook her. Leaning ever so slightly closer as to not bring anyone’s attention to what she was doing, she looked at the inscription.

‘Lily Evans, you are cordially invited to Remus’ surprise birthday party. Time: eight pm tonight. Place: Astronomy Tower. Desserts and drinks will be provided. Please wear pyjamas and bring what you need for a good night’s sleep.’

As soon she’d read the message it disappeared and was immediately replaced with another:

‘Don’t tell anyone else, he doesn’t like the fuss. Thanks, JP.’

Lily smiled, excitement building as she thought about sneaking out for a sleepover on the Astronomy Tower. She hadn’t done anything exciting for way too long. Prefect duties were taking up every other evening, then on top of that she had to study to get into her NEWT classes next year, and her other friends just didn’t have the same itch to get out and do something stupid that she got sometimes. Marlene and Dorcas were happy to chat all evening in the common room, Celeste was always helping one teacher or another, and Timmy’s idea of breaking rules was reading something from the restricted section. Lily loved doing those things with them most of the time, but sometimes when Remus told her about the stupid things he got up to with the Marauders she longed to be part of it. 

*

It was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, so Lily didn’t have to sit and twiddle her thumbs until eight. She headed into the village with the rest of the year and found herself in the middle of a huge group in the Three Broomsticks, laughing and recounting the drama of the last quidditch match.

She stood up to order another few butterbeers, feeling buoyed up by the company. She spotted Sirius and Remus out of one of the windows, walking hand in hand with pink cheeks as they laughed together, their heads bent close. 

“You know, if they hadn’t gotten together this year I think I would have been forced to intervene,” Peter’s voice made her jump. He was leaning on the bar and smiling at his friends too, “sharing a room with them was unbearable. All the blushing and note passing, and the fucking cuddling!”

She laughed at Peter’s look of horror. He had such an expressive face with his round cheeks and bright eyes that always made her laugh when he told stories.

“They’re those people, aren’t they,” Lily thanked the waiter who passed the butterbeers over. “The lucky sods who meet their soulmates young and never have to go on disastrous dates.”

“Yup.” Peter paid for two butterbeers, “bastards.”

“Cheers to that,” Lily clinked her bottle to one of his. “What’s happening with this surprise party later?”

“Shit! That’s what I came over here to say,” he rolled his eyes at himself, “me and James are planning logistics now then we’re gonna get a few things and head back early to set up. I thought you might help us?”

“Sure,” Lily held the drinks she was still holding up, “let me just drop these off first.”

*

Planning the party went pretty smoothly, and it was clear that Peter and James had most of it mapped out already. When Lily sat down at their table, James looked up with a blinding smile and gestured at the parchment he was looking at. His wild handwriting and the arrows that pointed every which way should have given Lily a headache, but after looking at them for a minute she realised they, appallingly, actually made sense.

“Black doesn’t know?” She pointed at one of the bubbles on the paper which outlined ‘surprise S+R’.

“You think we could trust him with the secret?” Peter laughed, “he would have burst. He can’t keep anything from Moony.”

James didn’t say anything and when Lily looked at him questioningly she saw him frowning at his paper. He glanced up and met her eyes, oddly serious.

“Hey,” he dropped his voice low, “don’t call him Black, please. He’s not been part of that family for years.”

The venom in his voice as he spat out ‘ that family’ made Lily realise how serious it was. She knew bits and pieces from what Remus had said, and she knew that Sirius didn’t believe in his family’s pureblood ideals of course, but she didn’t know it went so far as him giving up his last name.

“Oh,” she said, still processing the information and mentally catalouging every interaction she’d had with Sirius in a new light, “is he okay?”

James’ whole demeanor lightened at her question and he smiled at her like she was part of the secret. “Yeah,” he said, simply. “He lives with me now.”

“The Potter brothers, eh?” Lily knocked her shoulder into his, “watch out world.”

“Y-yeah,” James choked a little and ruffled his hair up, but couldn’t hide the starry-eyed smile he aimed at her. Lily felt her own lips quirk up in response.

“Um, guys.” Peter was looking at them askew, “we should probably go get some of this stuff.”

“Right.”

“Yup,” Lily turned away and stood up from the table to hide her blush. 

They rushed back to the castle to have time to set things up before dinner, and Lily couldn’t believe how easy it was to be on the inside of one of James’ plans instead of watching the chaos unfold from the outside. It felt as easy as breathing to share exasperated looks with Peter while James strutted about dramatically. It didn’t help that they were doing something for Remus that she knew he would absolutely love. She hadn’t thought James had it in him. The more time she spent around him, though, the more she realised just how much he loved his friends.

As James fretted about the number of blankets they’d need to be comfortable, Lily couldn’t hold it in anymore. She threw one of them over his head and ignored his protests.

“Dad friend.”

“Am not!” James glared at her from the confines of his blanket.

“Sure, Potter.” Lily smirked and patted his swaddled head, “you tell yourself that.”

“He is the dad friend,” Peter said, stretching out in the den they’d put together. 

“Shut up, Wormtail.”

“Why’s that your nickname?” Lily had wondered for a while about the nicknames Remus used for his friends, but he’d never told her where they came from. At least Moony was pretty self explanatory. She charmed a few more twinkling fairy lights, not really expecting an answer.

The high pitched, ‘umm’s’ coming from behind her told her more than she thought she’d get out of them. Something embarrassing maybe, or something rule-breaking - it could go either way with this group.

“I’ll find out, don’t worry.” She put the finishing touches on her charms and, happy with her work, turned to go. “See you at dinner.”

*

Dinner was a slow torture. Lily couldn’t enjoy her shepherd’s pie at all when she knew they had about three different types of cake up on the Tower that were just sat waiting for them to enjoy. As the hall started emptying she caught James’ eye and nodded. 

Peter had gone ahead to sneak Sirius and Remus’ pyjamas out of their dorms and onto the roof, and was up there now taking the preservation charms off the food and drink. It was Lily’s job to help James get Sirius and Remus to the Tower without catching any of the teachers’ attention.

They made it to Gryffindor Tower no problem. They made it past McGonagall’s office and the transfiguration classroom with only a few confused questions from Remus. It was when they got to the base of the Astronomy Tower that things got hairy. Peeves, the absolute last entity Lily ever wanted to see, was throwing books off the shelves in Sinistra’s office. This would require a diversion.

“Right,” Lily hissed. “James, get the boys upstairs - I’ll take Peeves.”

“What!” James’ whisper was almost loud enough to give them away, “I can’t let you sacrifice yourself to that toad. No, no way! I know him better, anyway.”

“Exactly! He’ll know there’s trouble around if you’re here.”

“Rude.”

“Please, that was a compliment to you.” Lily ignored his smirk. “Just go.”

She cast silencing charms on their feet as they climbed up the stairs and turned back to face Peeves. When faced with a poltergeist there was only really one option - create enough trouble that he’d zoom off to find it. Taking a deep breath, Lily turned her wand in her palm, before pointing it down the stairs they’d come from.

“ Chao partum.’” Lily couldn’t help but giggle as she said the words - she’d always wanted to use that charm. The effect was immediate - the spell bounced off the wall and hit a lamp which immediately duplicated until it hit a door which duplicated until it hit a window which duplicated. It went on and on until looking at the corridor was enough to make anyone feel drunk.

Peeves cackled in delight and floated towards it. Lily turned her back and ran up the stairs.

“That. Was. Amazing!” James pulled her up the final two steps and spun her around, “I think I love you, Evans.”

“That’s not news, Prongs.” Sirius gave her an appraising look, “you’re alright, Evans.”

“Not bad yourself, Potter.” Lily almost took the words straight back as she watched Sirius’ grin fade and his eyes become glassy. But before she could take a step forward, his grin was back even bigger than before and she suddenly had her arms full of a boy she’d once thought was intimidating. She caught Remus’ eye over his boyfriend’s back, “and to think I never believed you when you said he was a big softie at heart.”

“Shut up, I’m cool.” Sirius said, but there were definitely still tears in his voice.

“The coolest,” Peter said seriously, “especially when you smudge your eyeliner in the morning and lock the rest of us out of the bathroom until you can fix it.”

“Pete!” Sirius abruptly let her go to spin around and reach out for Peter, who was too quick and darted away just out of reach. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I brought cake?” The peace offering worked and they all settled inside the den and stuffed themselves silly.

“Thanks guys,” Remus said after the cakes had been demolished and they’d all fallen silent. “This has been the best birthday ever.”

“Only the best for you,” Sirius pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“No, I...I mean it. I never, ever, ever thought I’d have this. I thought Hogwarts would be seven years of hiding who I am but.” Remus huffed a laugh and lay down, Sirius following first before the rest of them lay down too, side by side so they were staring up at the stars. “But you guys made it amazing.”

Lily didn’t know what to say to that. Remus was hardly ever so sincere.

“Well, being best mates with a werewolf is pretty groovy.” Peter said, “you’ve done us a solid there.”

“Yeah, will be a good one to tell the grandkids.” James said, “how we tamed the killer beast inside.”

“Idiots,” Lily laughed at them, “if only you could tame your hair like you tamed Remus’ killer instincts, you might actually get grandkids.”

“Ouch,” Sirius reached out to high five her, “you got him there.”

“Well not everyone is as blessed as we are, Sirius.” Lily nudged him and they laughed before falling silent again.

It wasn’t that late but the warm den, pitch black sky, and the stomachs full of cake and the little bit of firewhisky they could steal had created such a cozy atmosphere between them all that Lily wasn’t the only one with drooping eyelids.

“I haven’t had this much fun all year.” Lily said into the silence, “with everything going on I’m just stressed out twenty four seven.”

“Yeah, me too.” James said and squeezed her hand, so quick Lily thought she might have imagined it.

“It’ll be alright though, right?” Peter said, his voice shaky. “We still have seventh year before we need to think about what comes next.”

Remus snorted, “shit, I have one more year left before what? A life of crap jobs and being poor?”

“You won’t be poor,” Sirius swatted his boyfriend, “I’m filthy rich even if my parents go through with disowning me.”

“I’m not going to spend my life mooching off my boyfriend, thank you.”

“It isn’t mooching when you’re married Re - it’s called sharing. What’s mine is yours and all that.”

Lily watched Sirius talk, all charm and bravado as he waved his hand about elegantly while casually saying he’d marry Remus. It can’t have been the first time he’d said something like that as no one else reacted like she had. Lily had no idea what to make of Sirius. She’d avoided him for most of her school years because you didn’t get James without Sirius, and she’d assumed he’d been just like James used to be, but she was starting to think she was wrong about that.

“That doesn’t help me!” Peter laughed at them, “I don’t have a rich heiress to marry.”

“I wouldn’t count that out, Petey,” Sirius grinned over at him, “I hear my cousin Narcissa is on the prowl for a husband.”

“I’m not touching your family for a million quid, thanks mate.” Peter chucked a pillow at Sirius’ face and Lily shared an amused glance with James.

Their laughter subsided until Remus broke it with a whisper, “isn’t it funny that I find the night sky so beautiful when it regularly ruins my life.”

“Sounds like Sirius,” Lily said at the same time as James. She turned her head to the right and caught his eye. They stared at each other in shocked horror before giggling like little kids. She was too wrapped up in the moment to hear Sirius’ crows of ‘you think I’m beautiful?’ 

They kept talking long into the night, their joking banter turning slowly into something more contemplative, the mood shifting as they settled into quieter conversation. Somewhere along the line Lily fell asleep, the light of stars in her eyes and James’ hand just out of reach of her own.

--

“Hey, Potter!” Lily was on her last prefect round ever. She was patrolling the Hogwarts Express on its return journey, making sure everyone was changed into their muggle clothes for the walk through Kings Cross Station. As always, the Marauders sat in the very last carriage on the train.

She’d been nervously thinking over her plan for the whole walk to their seats. The butterflies had kicked in when she was four carriages away.

“Lils!” James looked up at her with a grin already on his face. He was sitting by the window with Peter next to him. Remus and Sirius were taking up the bench opposite, sitting against opposite walls with their legs tangled in the middle.

“Can I have a minute?” Lily bit her lip and nodded to the corridor outside the compartment. She begged James not to question her internally - she hadn’t thought the plan through enough to have an excuse as to just why she needed to speak to him alone.

Thankfully, James just leapt to his feet with a bounce and walked out of the carriage, not even registering the raised eyebrows and pointed glances his friends were giving him. Lily caught Remus smirking and threw up her middle finger as she followed James out.

“What’s up?” James was looking at her so earnestly, the suggestive smirk he used to try on the year before gone. The openness of his face was what convinced her to follow through with her plan.

Taking a breath, Lily stepped forward into his space and oh so quickly stood on her toes to kiss him. She hadn’t done this before, not properly. There’d been a few games of truth or dare in the common room over the years but those pecks didn’t count. They didn’t mean anything, not like this. 

James kissed her back after a second and something within her clicked into place. Lily pulled away with a shy smile, but after catching sight of James’ still closed eyes and shell shocked expression it morphed into a full on grin. He was such an idiot.

“James, gonna need you to say something.”

“Guh,” James reached a hand to his lips and looked at her in wonder before he whooped and stepped forward to catch her in a hug. He lifted her off her feet and spun her around, and Lily would accuse him of stealing the move from almost any rom-com lead if she knew for a fact that he’d never watched a movie. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Lily laughed, “really.”

“This is amazing. You’re amazing,” he gazed at her with so much light in his hazel eyes. Lily was glad he wasn’t too tall as she just had to tip her head up slightly to kiss him again.

“We’ll write over summer, okay?”

“Come see me,” James’ hands caught hers and he started to sway them slightly, “please?”

Lily had spent the whole year getting to know this boy better, and more than anything she wanted to spend the whole summer with him too. But she couldn’t say that.

“We’ll see,” Lily pressed a kiss to his cheek and stepped away. “Now go scream with your idiot friends and tell Remus he better kiss his boyfriend goodbye and come finish patrol with me.”

James nodded and glanced over at his friends, laughter bursting from him as he saw them all pressed shamelessly against the window, having clearly watched everything that had just happened. 

Lily should have been embarrassed but she really, really wasn’t.

--

Lily hadn’t been in many stranger situations in her life. She was currently sitting in the grandest dining room she’d ever been in, in the grandest house she’d ever seen, with her second-hand flares and stripy tank top clashing against everything in the room. 

When James invited her to dinner at his house the idea of him living like a prince hadn’t crossed her mind. In retrospect, that was her first mistake. James Potter had come to school an arrogant little boy and had grown into a still-spoilt but incredibly generous man who didn’t show off his wealth but wore it as an ever-present aura around him. The richest people never did show it off, not really. James had become such a fixture in her life that she’d forgotten his eccentricities and written them off as just James being James. Faced with his parents and his house, this was her second mistake.

Lily sneezed as delicately as she could manage into her napkin. The starters were just being removed from the table and in the chaos of the house elves moving around, the lilies that were sat next to her had been nudged and the pollen had gone straight into her nose. She didn’t want to tell anyone she was mildly allergic, it didn’t seem like the time.

“So, Lily!” James’ dad had a huge smile that seemed to be on his face permanently and an accent that made every word out of his mouth charming. “Your hair is so beautiful, you must be using my potions, yes?”

“Pita!” James set his cutlery down and pointed a finger at his father and said something in Hindi that sounded like a threat.

“What is embarrassing about our family business, Jamie?” Mr Potter tilted his head and let a black curl fall artfully over his eye, speaking in English much to James’ annoyance. “The only embarrassing thing is that you don’t know how to use my invention, hmm?”

Sirius, who was sat opposite Lily, choked on a laugh. Mrs Potter passed him a glass of water and patted his hand gently as Sirius laid out a notebook and a pen, both muggle made.

“What are you doing mate?” James kicked Sirius under the table and the pen jolted across the page.

“Making a note of this so I don’t forget anything when I tell Re later.” Lily had the sense that Sirius would have stuck his tongue out had he not been in polite company.

“Silly boy,” Mrs Potter chided, “that’s what a pensieve is for.”

Lily laughed loudly at her antics. Both of James’ parents were much older than she’d expected, but they were so full of life and love it was infectious. Lily hoped she and James were like that when they were older. Merlin, she blushed at her train of thoughts, she was getting ahead of herself.

“So Lily, James tells us you’re the top of the year along with our two boys.” Mrs Potter was a beautiful, soft spoken woman who she’d heard James speak of with adoration.

“Well it doesn’t take much to keep up with these two.” The quip was out of her mouth before she could even think twice. The table stilled and Lily’s heart dropped. She’d just have to leave now before she offended anyone else. But to her surprise, Mrs Potter just snorted inelegantly and toasted her wine glass to Lily’s.

“I like you.”

Lily smiled and looked over to James who was beaming wide. He leant over and pressed a kiss to her cheek, and her smile grew even bigger. 

The dinner went on in the same manner, with Mr and Mrs Potter asking her questions about herself and her family and shutting down any attempt James made at sparing her from their interrogation. Sirius was looking more relaxed than Lily had ever seen him before, sitting at the table in his patched up leather jacket and conducting himself like he’d been born to sit at fancy dinner tables with mind boggling numbers of fork types to choose from. 

Once dinner was over and they were excused, James took her hand and pulled her towards the large doors to the gardens. The summer evening was still light and warm, but out here in the country the stars were already beginning to peek through the clouds. She noticed the gibbous moon - Remus would already be aching.

“Hey, Jamie!” Sirius called after them, “want to get our brooms and -”

His voice was interrupted by Mrs Potter, and try as she might Lily couldn’t hear what was being said. She heard what came next though.

“But he was my friend first!” Sirius’ petulant voice carried easily to their place in the garden, “it’s not fair!”

James pulled her more quickly onto the perfect lawn and spun her in a lazy circle.

“I’m glad you’re here.” He pulled her close and kissed her - their second ever proper kiss, even though it felt like they’d been together forever. The letters they’d been sending each other had been all that made the summer bearable, but right now, with James’ lips on hers, she realised being apart from him would never be enough. She wanted this all the time.

“Me too,” Lily said, and they just looked into each other’s eyes. How he’d become her most important person so quickly she didn’t understand. “Show me around?”

They walked hand in hand around the gardens of the manor house. It was more understated out here than it was inside - somehow the grandeur of the house wasn’t imposed on the crisp green grass that went on forever, nor the wildflower beds that led onto an orchard.

From out here she could see almost the entire estate. In the distance, quidditch hoops glowed gold in the setting sun.

“You have a quidditch pitch.” It wasn’t a surprise, not after everything else the house boasted.

“Yeah,” James bit his lip and mussed up his hair. Lily hoped he’d never use his father’s Sleekeazy’s, she loved the messy curls too much. “I know it’s a lot. I know how much this all is.”

“It’s a hell of a lot.” Lily laughed and squeezed his hand tighter. “Your parents are lovely.”

“They really liked you.”

“I’m glad, I hope I’ll see more of them?” They’d hinted at wanting a relationship in their letters, but pen on paper wasn’t the same as words hanging in the air between them. She held her breath and stroked a finger down the soft petal of a pink rose.

“Lily,” she spun back around and into James’ chest. “Be my girlfriend?”

“Yes.” Their third kiss was the best one yet.

--

Lily had been fake smiling for three hours straight and she was absolutely exhausted. Graduating from Hogwarts was supposed to be a celebration and a springboard for her future, but it just felt like the end of an era. She didn’t want to leave the castle that had given her everything she loved and go into the outside world which was looking more and more like it didn’t want anything to do with her.

James tightened the arm he had wrapped around her waist a little. She knew he felt the same and she was so glad he was by her side through all of this. They stood together at the front of the Great Hall by the teachers' table. As Head Girl and Head Boy they had to be seen at all times, smiling and congratulating everyone on their success. 

Finally, as ‘Zera, Naomi’ was called forward to receive her graduation certificate and shake Headmaster Dumbledore’s hand, it was over.

She heaved a sigh and whispered in James’ ear, “get us out of here.”

“Your wish,” he whispered back as he began to steer them both towards the crowd with purpose, “is my command.”

In no time at all they were outside in the sun and heading towards their tree - the one the Marauders had claimed back in first year and which was now carved with each of their initials. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and a whole group of relatives were all grouped under it.

They cheered as Lily and James walked up.

“Finally!” Remus, who was still on crutches from the brutal moon two days before, sunk back into Sirius’ chest on the picnic rug and started to eat with no finesse. Everyone stared at him before he shrugged and grunted, “hungry.”

“Well,” Lily’s mother said after giving her a huge hug, “can’t argue with that.”

They settled down to eat and Lily zoned out most of the adult chatter. The congratulations had stopped meaning anything after two minutes. Looking out across the grounds and trying to take in everything that had been her home for seven years and that she didn’t know if or when she’d see again was taking all of her attention.

A lump formed in her throat and she had to put her sandwich down, no longer hungry.

“Hey guys,” her voice was thick but she didn’t care. She didn’t have anything to hide from her best friends. “Let’s do one last stupid thing before we have to go. Please.”

“Yes! You are the best woman in the entire world,” James looked equally as emotional as she felt. “I’m going to marry you, Lily Evans.”

Her heart couldn’t take the emotional rollercoaster of the day without adding James’ dramatics to the mix.

“Not right now babe, ask me next year.” She didn’t register the serious look on his face as she turned to the others, “so, what are we gonna do?”

“Well,” Remus levered himself up with a hand from Sirius. He was always extra sneaky on the days following the moon, “I still have some polyjuice lying around.”

“Say no more,” Sirius stared at Remus with delight. It was the look Lily knew she gave James whenever he’d done something particularly stupid but annoyingly charming. “I’ll take Minnie, Head Girl you take Dumby, Pete I need you to get Slughorn, Re you get Hagrid, Head Boy you get Flitwick.”

“Meet in Myrtle’s bathroom?” Lily was already on her way to her Headmaster. Getting one hair from him shouldn’t be too hard.

*

The sensation of taking polyjuice would never get less weird. Looking in the mirror afterwards and seeing Headmaster Dumbledore in her graduation gown was a sight she immediately wished she’d never seen.

“I think there was a slight flaw in our plan,” Lily said as she saw Flitwick drowned in James’ three piece suit, and Hagrid stuffed into Remus’ clothes. Even being the tallest of them, Remus’ trousers barely went past Hagrid’s knees.

“Nonsense,” Remus said at the same time Sirius grinned, “don’t be stupid.”

“This is the plan.” There went Lily’s belief in Remus’ intelligence.

“Well, I did request we do something stupid.” As a parting gift of respect to her Headmaster she transfigured her dress into more of a cloak. Nobody else needed to be subject to Dumbledore’s chest hair.

Peter was the first of them to leave the bathroom, his impression of Slughorn perfect down to the affected bounce in his step. Lily was in hysterics long before they made their way onto the lawn.

“SIRIUS BLACK!” McGonagall’s shrill voice was the first thing they heard as they stepped into the sun. 

“POTTER!” Came next.

“LUPIN!”

“Three down, two to go!” James called back with a wave.

“PETTIGREW!” Peter bowed deeply, showing Slughorn’s balding head to the entire school.

“EVANS!” 

“Now, that one she hasn’t said before!” Peter grinned and shook Lily’s hand.

“MY OFFICE, NOW!”

“No can do, Minnie!” Sirius was still easily distinguishable through the Scottish accent that came from his mouth.

“We’ve graduated, see?” Remus laughed as soon as he heard Hagrid’s deep voice replace his own soft one. “Can’t give us detention.”

“Can’t take house points,” James flicked his wand and a shower of red sparks exploded around them.

Professor McGonagall put a hand over her eyes, and although she appeared to be rubbing her temples, Lily could tell she was really trying to cover up her laughter. She’d always had a soft spot for James and Sirius, god help her. Lily liked to think her affection for Remus and herself was built on mutual respect, and she didn’t know about Peter. Everyone liked Peter, though.

“Get out of my sight,” McGonagall actually laughed then, an honest to god laugh, “and god forbid any of you become teachers.”

“I’ll send you my resume,” Remus gave her a salute and lumbered off towards their tree again, high-fiving every student they passed.

Lily laughed and followed, lighter than she’d felt all day.

Chapter Text

Lily’s breathing was picking up, it felt like the heaving gasps of air she was taking weren’t reaching her lungs at all, but getting stuck in her tight throat. The bright jets of curses played out in front of her eyes like something out of one of her dad’s VHS tapes. She hadn’t seen her dad for a few weeks, too caught up in James and the Order and worrying about Remus going underground, and maybe she’d never see him again now. She wondered if he’d miss her. He never seemed to miss her that much when she was away at school. At least Tuney would be happy not to have to see her or James again.

A green light cut too close. The breath she’d managed to take shuddered out of her mouth again, leaving her empty. Her head was empty. Her lungs were empty. But her heart wasn’t empty. James. Where was James?

Desperately, Lily cast about for a glimpse of the messy black hair she loved so much. She didn’t have to look far. James caught her eye from just a few metres away. His bright hazel eyes were as green as her own in the eerie light of the Dark Mark floating above them.

Seeing him there spurred her into action. Lily knew she could do this. She’d been standing up to bullies for years and this was no different. Just more violent. Lily gripped her wand tighter and closed her eyes for a second, trying in vain to remember any of the lessons James and Sirius had given her on how to duel. Feet apart, that was step one. Shoulders squared, step two. Deep breath, step three. She opened her eyes. Find your opponent and don’t take your eyes off them, step four. 

Step four was the easiest one. James was holding his own, Sirius was grinning and fighting two Death Eaters at once, showing off like he was born to this. Peter, though. Peter looked like she felt and there was a Death Eater coming up behind him. Lily lunged forward, her wand drawn and a spell coming easily to her lips. 

“ Stupefy!” And the Death Eater was blasted backwards in a flash of red. She reached Peter’s side and held a hand out to the man she loved like a brother. Peter was the least flashy of all of them but somehow that made him the most human, too. He stayed up with her when she wanted to talk about what she’d learnt that day at uni, and he was always up for a trip into muggle London to try different restaurants or to see a film. He looked at her, his pale blue eyes wide in shock. Neither of them were natural fighters, but they did what they needed to do.

Standing back to back, they headed further into the fray.

And then Voldemort appeared.

He was tall, thin, ghostly pale. His face was inhuman. Lily hadn’t ever seen it before. He was blocking James and Sirius from her view. Marlene was over there too, Dorcas by her side. 

Lily expected the battle to stop at his appearance, but it didn’t. Voldemort was looking around like he was surveying the talent of his forces, not caring for a minute about the bodies lying by his feet.

Lily grabbed Peter’s clammy hand and started to lead them to their friends, dodging spells and firing her own back whenever she had the chance. 

“James!” He came into view just as a Death Eater raised his wand at him. At the sight of Lily, the wand stilled and lowered. Lily felt sick. She knew who was under that mask. “ Stupefy!”

Severus escaped, gone in the flick of his black cloak.

“Lily, oh thank Merlin,” James grabbed her hand. “Pete, thank Godric you’re okay.”

“Yeah, fine.” Peter was still looking slightly green, though that could have just been from the skull in the sky.

“DUCK!” Sirius’ roar made Lily jump and James pulled her to the ground, covering her body with his own. Lily could see the long, white fingers of Voldemort pointing a wand over James’ shoulder.

“Sirius Black,” Voldemort’s voice was high and dangerous, “you are a brave warrior. It is time for you to join your true brothers and sisters. Lord Voldemort will be merciful if you join us now. If you don’t, you will face the consequences.”

Lily’s heart was racing. Don’t say anything Siri, don’t bait him, please, don’t make him angry. Sirius opened his mouth.

“I already know who my true brother is. And I’ve already seen the consequences of joining up with people like you.”

“So be it,” Voldemort raised his wand and Lily jumped to her feet at the same time she felt James’ weight lift off her shoulders. They stood, side by side, and raised their wands as one.

“ Abite!” Lily’s voice ripped from her throat as she and James screamed the spell. The force of the pale light that shot from the ends of their wands was enough. Lily had one last look at Voldemort’s face, this time contorted in surprise and pain, before he was forced away from them.

The battle paused while the remaining Death Eaters looked at the place their master had been standing, then over at Lily and James, still standing with their wands raised. One by one, they disapparated. The cracks were still ringing in Lily’s ears as the Order converged around them.

She didn’t hear any of their praise, only James’ voice asking if she was okay and Sirius’ shaking voice thanking them over and over. Peter was silent by her side.

*

The clock struck midnight as they finally made it home to their place in London. 

The sound, so synonymous with home, was what finally shook the vice in her chest free. Lily felt everything at once - fear, anger, pride, relief, shock. She fell numbly onto a chair.

She felt James leave her side for just a minute before he was back, placing a little velvet box in front of her.

“Stupid ‘Dark Lord’ ruined my plans, so I’m technically a day late.” James’ voice was shaking with emotion, “but you said ask you next year and this is next year. So, marry me?”

Lily stared at him in shock. Of all the times to do this, now was when her idiot chose. She loved him so much it hurt sometimes. Nobody else could have gotten her to laugh after what they’d just been through.

She stood from the chair she was on and barrelled straight into his arms, “not right now, babe,” she said into his neck. She raised her head and looked into his eyes, pressing their foreheads together so he knew her words weren’t a rejection - they were a promise. A promise of more time together, “ask me again next year.”

James laughed, a wet laugh which sounded a touch hysterical, and gripped her back tightly, bringing their mouths together in a searing kiss.

“Yes,” he vanished the velvet box, “next year. There’ll be a next year.”

“There’ll be a next year,” she said back. They both needed the reassurance. “I love you.”

--

The little blue box in Lily’s bag felt like it weighed a tonne, and she didn’t know if she feared or longed for what it might tell her. She’d woken up sick again that morning, the same as every morning for the last week. She thought it had been stress that had made her late for her period two weeks ago - James was now a qualified Auror and had been out on a nasty mission the same week - but she didn’t think that was the case anymore.

Lily walked back to their house from the Boots on the high street with her mind going a hundred miles an hour. If she was right, if she was pregnant, that meant everything. A baby - James’ baby - she’d been entertaining daydreams about that for at least a year, but she hadn’t meant for them to come true. The war was as bleak as ever and moments of peace were fewer and further between. Remus was gone more often than not on his underground missions. Lily had only seen him for a handful of weeks over the last two years, and Sirius was getting more and more reckless with each month that passed, much to James’ constant worry. Marlene hadn’t been heard from since Dorcas had been killed in a battle two months ago. All of Lily’s letters came back undelivered. Peter was more tense than usual and never wanted to speak about anything that was going on. Lily thanked Merlin she had her studies to keep her occupied, although she might have something more pressing on her hands now.

She let herself into the house. It was James’ day off but he’d left for his morning run before she’d gone to the shops. She had about half an hour before he’d be back. She went to the bathroom and paced in front of the mirror for about five minutes before she convinced herself to take the test.

The waiting was torture. The little sign that meant she had a baby inside her was a dream come true. She couldn’t hold back a sob as she let the information sink in. A baby. It was crazy. She never planned for this to happen like this. She was still so young and her world was in chaos, but when she thought about telling James she knew in her bones this was a good thing. James - stupid, handsome, kind James - who'd wanted to marry her when they were eighteen, who always spoke in awed voices about how he wanted loads of kids and he wanted them when he was young so he could run and play with them like his parents never could when he was a kid. James, who she loved completely, and who miraculously loved her just the same. James, who promised her every night that the war would be over soon and they’d be able to move on in a better world. 

He’d asked her just last week to marry him for the third time. She’d laughed and kissed him and said, “no, ask me next year,” and that had been that. 

Lily knew what she had to do now. She grinned and let a few tears slip from her eyes.

When James came through the front door ten minutes later, she was sitting at the dining table with the ring box in front of her, trying and failing to keep the smile from her lips.

“Lils?” James picked up on her mood straight away and grinned, confused. “What’s going on?”

“Ask me again,” Lily pushed the velvet box closer to his hands.

“I don’t under-” Lily pushed the box at him more forcefully and he picked it up, twizzling it in his hands like he did the snitch he’d kept from Hogwarts. He looked into her eyes and she tried to show him how serious she was this time. He must have seen something there because he sank down onto one knee. “Lily Evans, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Lily burst out and the tears fell freely now, “yes from both of us.”

James whooped and opened the box to reveal a stupidly big, shining, diamond ring. It fitted like magic.

“Wait.” He paused, “both of you - what do you mean?” 

Lily grabbed his hand and pressed it to her body. He wouldn’t feel anything apart from her soft stomach yet, but the gesture meant everything. His eyes snapped to hers and she’d never seen him look so in awe, so in love, as he did in that moment.

“We’re having a baby,” Lily said, her voice cracking through tears and a blinding smile. 

James kissed her, his arms wrapping around her waist gently like any squeeze might hurt the baby. Their baby. He rested his forehead against hers and Lily wiped away his tears with a shaking hand. They’d be okay.

--

Telling Euphemia and Monty had been easy. Things were different in the wizarding world, people got married and had a family young, especially purebloods. They had been over the moon when Lily and James had broken the news, and the wedding was already half planned by the end of the evening. Lily’s parents hadn’t been quite so enthused, and the tears weren’t wholly happy ones, but they loved James and when they’d found out how serious he was about committing to Lily and the baby they were mollified. 

Telling Sirius, Remus, and Peter was the fun part. 

They’d been to see the maternity healers at St Mungo’s the week they’d gotten engaged to make sure everything was fine and had been given the all clear. The day after, they’d been to Windsor, and the day after that they’d seen her parents. A week had passed since then, a week filled with Lily having to send a letter to James every two hours to make sure he hadn’t spilled the beans prematurely. But finally, they were ready to break the news. Remus was back from his mission and in his rightful place next to Sirius at Lily and James’ dining table.

Lily assumed dinner had been nice but she hadn’t tasted a single morsel of it as she waited impatiently for the right time to tell them all. The weight of her engagement ring was ever present on her left hand but it was hidden under a concealment charm, and the absence of the glint of diamond was already foreign.

The conversation lulled. James squeezed her knee under the table and Lily lifted the concealment charm wordlessly. 

She reached across the table for the water jug.

Remus stilled. His sharp, clever eyes zeroing in on her left hand unerringly. Lily grinned. James owed her ten galleons - he’d bet Sirius would be the first to notice.

“Lily…” Remus’ voice was measured and calm and Lily had missed him so much. His Welsh accent was stronger than she’d heard it in a while, like it was when he came back to school from the holidays. “Got something to share with the class?”

Sirius looked at his partner in confusion but followed his gaze to Lily’s hand. His realisation was a lot louder than his boyfriend’s. He dropped his cutlery and gasped, a hand flying to his mouth, looking between Lily and James in shock.

“What?” Peter said through a mouthful of food.

“You’re engaged?” Sirius was still staring at the ring. At James’ confirmation, he cheered and got up to hug them both, “I’m gonna cry.”

Peter popped the cork off the champagne they’d got for the occasion and poured five glasses, handing them out and holding his up.

“It’s about time this happened,” his smile lit up his boyish face in a way Lily hadn’t seen since their graduation. The war had been hard on them all, but Peter was suffering alone. “Congratulations!”

They all cheered and clinked their glasses together, but James and Lily put theirs down and grinned.

“Also,” Lily waited until the others had taken a sip of their champagne, “I’m pregnant.”

The spray of champagne over the dinner table was totally worth it.

Sirius stood up and hugged James tight, his arms looped around his shoulders as he practically shouted his congratulations. Lily felt her heart grow two sizes watching them, and she took out a camera to save the memory for later.

“I’m going to be an uncle!” Sirius let James go just to smack a kiss on Remus’ lips, “we’re going to be uncles, Moony! I’m going to spoil this kid rotten, you hear me?”

“Lils,” Remus’ eyes were glassy with tears, “you realise this kid is going to be a complete nightmare, right?”

“The worst,” Lily laughed wetly, “so much trouble.”

“Here’s to the kid,” Peter stood up to give her a hug which Lily melted into, “may they be blessed with friends like us.”

Lily looked around at her friends and wished with all her heart that her baby would know and love these people too, and that they’d have their own group of friends to call family. Sirius and James were still locked in a hug and Lily didn’t know who was happier, Remus was wiping tears from his cheeks and telling her she’d be the best mother in the world, and Peter was right by her side. 

The future was scary, the present bleak, but the little person inside her was going to be the answer to everything - she just knew it. They’d be all of her and James’ love and it felt like that would be enough to change everything.

--

“Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand.” 

Lily watched from the garden doors as everyone stood. James took his position at the front by the enchanted archway which was in full bloom. 

“Ready?” Her father walked up next to her and offered his arm. “I can’t believe you’re getting married already.”

“Dad,” Lily had managed to keep her emotions in check all day, but her voice was shaking now, and she tightened her grip on her father’s arm. It had been a rollercoaster few months to get them to this point and Lily felt older than her twenty years. “Thank you.”

She didn’t say for what, Lily thought it was quite obvious. She meant thank you for being here, thank you for accepting James into their family, thank you for supporting her throughout the pregnancy and with the wedding. Things had been hard, but having her dad on her side like back when she was a kid had made the world of difference.

“Don’t cry on me sweetheart,” his voice was wooly and thick, “you know it’ll just set me off.”

Lily nodded and squeezed his arm. She took the first step out of the house and into the garden. The memory of kissing James on the same lawn and agreeing to be his girlfriend was at the front of her mind. She’d never have thought it would lead to this, just a few short years on; it was a miracle that this was how things had unfolded.

James was the only person she had eyes for. He stood, waiting for her in front of everyone, just like he’d waited for her to make the first move. He was already crying.

Lily kissed her dad on the cheek when they reached the front and wasted no time in hugging James tight, her stomach, now obviously rounded with child, pressed between them.

“You okay?” James whispered into her ear. Lily nodded, not trusting herself to reply without crying. 

She stepped back and James took her hand straight away, using the other to wipe her eyes. Lily knew she would treasure this man for the rest of her life. Suddenly the big, white wedding seemed unnecessary. She’d happily run away from the Potter Estate and marry him in their slightly run-down house with only their friends for company.

Still, she nodded when the wizard marrying them asked if they were ready. 

They’d opted for a wizarding ceremony, not least because it was significantly shorter than the muggle alternative and Lily was already becoming uncomfortable standing in her heavy gown. It felt like barely anytime at all before Remus was stepping forward with their rings.

“With this ring, I take thee to be my wedded wife and pledge my magic to be bonded with yours from this day forward, for as long as we both may live.” James’ hand was steady as he slid the wedding band onto her finger. Lily couldn’t look away from his eyes, not even when the officiant raised his wand to start the bonding ceremony. Golden lights encircled them both, but Lily only saw them reflected in the deep hazel of James’ eyes, glowing off his dark skin and making him look like an angel.

“With this ring, I take thee to be my wedded husband and pledge my magic to be bonded with yours from this day forward, for as long as we both may live.” Lily let her tears fall. The golden lights concentrated on their clasped hands then, and Lily felt the oddest sensation. The magic that she barely registered but which thrummed under her skin day after day suddenly sprang to life, rejoicing at the feeling of James’ magic mixing with her own. She felt warm all over, like coming home, like the feeling of James telling her he loved her, like finding out they were having a little boy in four months.

The sensation only lasted for a few seconds, but as the magic settled Lily felt like a new person. She was herself, she was James’, he was himself, and he was hers. They were strong apart but stronger together. 

“You may now kiss the bride,” Lily sprung forward into James’ waiting arms and kissed him like it was the first time all over again. Shy, but so certain they had something special in their future. This time she knew it for sure.

Cheers erupted around them. Alice Longbottom, her maid of honour, charmed confetti to float gracefully around them. Sirius, James’ best man, laughed loud and free.

With a flick of the officiant’s wand the wedding arch exploded into a million little lights and the guests’ chairs all disappeared into the grass. The sun was setting, casting everything in the same gold as the bonding spell, and their baby squirmed and kicked inside of her.

Lily grabbed James’ hand and pulled him into the crowd.

--

Lily held her baby boy in her arms and cried. He looked just like James, but he had her eyes. He was perfect.

James hadn’t left her side the whole night and he’d not taken his eyes off the baby since he’d let out his first cry.

They sat together, curled up in their bed, and savoured the moment of peace. The mediwitch had just left the room to tell everyone waiting downstairs the good news. Her parents and her in-laws would be up soon, and their friends wouldn’t be far behind. Lily just wanted this moment alone for her and James and their baby.

“He doesn’t have a name,” she sobbed. She was so tired, so alive, so full of love. “He needs to have a name.”

“Shh, darling.” James kissed her damp forehead, “there’s still time.”

“I know we didn’t decide for sure, but I liked Harry.”

“Harry?” James hummed and brushed the tiny lock of dark hair on the baby’s head. “I like it.”

“Harry James.”

James breathed in sharply at that. They hadn’t decided whether they’d follow the pureblood tradition of passing on names, but Lily had known since they’d found out they were having a boy that she wanted him to carry his father’s name. The Potter’s didn’t follow many pureblood traditions, and the ones they did follow were carried from India rather than England, but naming traditions were common in almost every culture. 

“Are you sure?” James breathed out. The wonder in his voice just cemented Lily’s resolve.

“The next one better be a girl though,” she laughed through another sob, “that way it’s fair.”

“Okay,” James kissed her again and again, “okay.”

They fell into an awed silence just looking at Harry James. A knock at the door stirred them and Lily looked up to see her mother’s face poking through the door. She smiled and waved her in.

Her mother cradled Harry in her arms with practiced ease and Lily cried harder when she realised she would have held Petunia’s son like this just a few short weeks ago. Lily hadn’t been invited to meet the child yet.

She didn’t want to take her eyes off her son for a minute, but her body had other ideas. She was exhausted and James had taken up rubbing her shoulders in just the way she liked, and Harry was safe in his grandmother’s arms. She let herself drift off.

*

Lily woke a while later to the dipping of the mattress. She opened her eyes blearily and immediately hissed at the pain radiating through her body.

“ Relevabor.” Remus’ soft voice washed over her and the pain eased. Lily opened her eyes wider and saw his soft smile. Peter was standing next to him, his blue eyes filled with tears as he put a finger to his lips and pointed to the other side of the bed.

Lily turned her head slowly and almost sobbed at the sight. James and Sirius were cradling Harry between them and staring at him in wonder, both of them oblivious to anything else around them. Sirius sniffed harshly and shuffled closer to James’ side. 

“Siri,” Lily said, her voice rough, “come here.”

Sirius looked at her with his glassy eyes and he and James sat on the bed. Lily caught James’ eye and nodded.

“Siri, we want you to be godfather.”

Sirius’ eyes went wide in shock and he immediately shook his head, even as he took Harry fully into his arms and rocked him ever so slightly. James squeezed her hand. Lily loved Sirius like a brother and despite his recklessness and flair for dramatics she knew nobody more loyal than he was. He would be the best godfather for her little boy.

“M-me?” Sirius said, still shaking his head, “but what about Re, what about Pete? They’re much more responsible.”

“You’re James’ brother,” Peter stepped back from the bed slightly, “there could be no one else.”

“‘Sides,” James tugged a strand of his brother’s hair, “you have Moony to keep you in line.”

“Since when did I become the good example?” Remus muttered to himself, but Lily ignored him as Harry scrunched his nose up.

“Gimme,” she felt everything in her ease as Harry was placed back in her arms where he belonged. She took one of his chubby hands in hers, the light brown of his skin so perfect against her own scarred palms.

Chapter Text

Harry sat up in his bed and drew the curtains of his four-poster tightly closed. His mind was still running at what had happened that evening, turning the events over and over even as he tried to forget it.

He flicked the page of the photo album Hagrid had given him in first year. Some of the pages were worn almost thin at the number of times he’d looked at them, but the new pages were still stiff and smelt of new parchment where they were filled with photos found in the new house.

Harry set the album aside as he came to the end of it. His own smiling face was staring up at him from his mother’s freckled arms. Her green eyes really were just like his own.

He picked up his quill and a new piece of parchment instead and started to write. The new scars on his hand stung as his hand flexed. I must not tell lies. Harry thought they were ironic. He’d never been one for lying to his godparents.

‘Dear Sirius and Remus,

I need to tell you about the new Defence teacher…’