Chapter Text
"Please... No..."
"Hush, pet," he purred, stroking a hand down her head like a dog. "It's showtime." She shot up in bed, gasping for air. Her skin was cold and clammy, drenched in rapidly-cooling sweat that had her clothes clinging to her body. Her heart thundered in her chest as she looked around, getting her bearings. She was still safe within the walls of her bedroom in the Bunker. She wasn't in Hell, chained to the throne like an animal while Lucifer-as-Cas treated her like his pet.
She'd been having the nightmare for weeks now, but was too scared to bring it up to her brothers, or- God forbid- the angel himself. They had enough on their plates, what with the Darkness loose and no idea how to stop her. It was currently just Cas and her in the Bunker because the boys were chasing a lead and since Cas was still recovering from the spell Rowena had cast on him, he'd been holed up in his room watching TV.
He was supposed to be helping find information on Metatron, but instead hadn't left his room while he binged show after show. She blamed Dean for introducing him to Netflix and cable. Kicking back the covers, she climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom. She stripped out of her soaked clothes while the shower warmed up. Steam filled the small space as she stepped underneath the stream with a sigh. Closing her eyes, she let the water beat the stress from her joints and wash away the memories of her nightmare.
She prayed with every fiber of her being that the dream was just that- a dream- and not a vision of things to come. However, knowing the kind of luck she and her brothers had, it would end up being a vision. If that was the case, she probably shouldn't have been keeping it to herself, but admitting out loud that she was dreaming about Cas possessed by Lucifer would mean she couldn't ignore it any more. And she absolutely could not let that happen. Forcing any lingering thoughts of the dream from her mind, she shut off the water, wrapping herself in a towel.
After getting dressed, she ventured out into the halls of the Bunker, briefly pausing at Cas' door on the way to the kitchen. "Cas?" she asked gently, knocking on the door before opening it a crack. "You hungry? I was just going to go make breakfast?" The angel was already up, curled up on the couch Dean helped him put in his room so he could watch TV. "Hello, Gabi," he greeted her, not tearing his eyes from the screen. Gabi's heart fluttered and her stomach tied itself in knots like it always did when Cas said her name.
Someone on the TV said something about running a paternity test and she wrinkled her nose. "Really, Cas? Reruns?" Cas shrugged, still not fully paying attention to her. "I finished watching Game of Thrones and decided to try something different." She snorted, knowing Dean would definitely have some choice words about Cas trading Game of Thrones for reruns of Jenny Jones. "You want some breakfast?" she asked instead of commenting further on his choice of show.
Cas finally looked over at her, the warmth in his crystal blue eyes a stark contrast to the coldness they contained when Lucifer would take over. If he took over. She still had no proof that her dream would ever come to fruition. There was no reason to get worked up about it now. "Yes, thank you," he said, and it took her a second for her brain to register the response. "O-okay," she stammered, bumping into the door as she tried to make a hasty retreat without watching where she was going. "Uh, I'll be right back."
She thought he might have tried to say something else to her as she left, but she was already down the hall and halfway to the kitchen and it didn't make sense to turn back around then. She spent the next fifteen minutes beating herself up as she cooked her and Cas plates of scrambled eggs and bacon. Nice going, Gabi. If you keep making a fool of yourself like that, he's going to find out about your nightmares for sure. She shook her head to clear it, leaving the food on the table to go get Cas.
When she got back into Cas' room, they were announcing the test results on the show and he was on the phone. "Jenny, he is not ready to be a father," Cas groaned, rolling his eyes in obvious distaste of the result. "Yeah, well, a man can't live on caviar alone, Dean," he spoke into his phone a moment later. Gabi snorted as she faintly made out Dean beginning some long rant on the other side of the phone. Cas sighed as her brother hung up a minute later.
"What'd Dean say?" she asked curiously. "He said I should turn off the TV and go outside," Cas replied. Gabi chuckled. "He's not wrong, Cas. You've barely left this room since Rowena cured you."
"I have everything I need here. There's no reason for me to go anywhere," the angel pointed out. "You need fresh air, Cas. And a shower. But first, breakfast. It's waiting in the kitchen. Let's go." She held out her hand, waiting until he grabbed it so she could help pull him to his feet. After turning off the TV, he followed her down the hall to the kitchen where their plates were sitting on the table. She tried to ignore the way her heart tried to leap out of her chest any time he accidentally brushed against her as they walked side by side. They took their places across from each other at the table, eating in companionable silence.
"So, what's the plan?" she asked when they finished. "Because you aren't allowed to go back to binging TV." A small smile tugged at Cas' lips and he laughed a little, causing her heart to flutter in her chest once more. "Well, I think I'll take a shower, and then I'll get some fresh air like both you and Dean suggested." Gabi nodded along with the angel's words. "Sounds like a great idea. I'll be in the library if you need me."
She watched Cas go, then made her way toward the library like she said. As she went, her phone rang. She groaned when she saw Dean's name on the screen. "Yes?" she answered, already guessing what he had to say. "I thought the whole point of you staying behind with Cas was to help him get back on his feet," her brother snapped. "Why's he still binging TV? And not even good TV? You're letting him watch Jenny Jones reruns?"
"Okay, first of all, I'm not letting him watch anything," she argued, rolling her eyes. "He's making those decisions on his own. And second of all, he's not binging anymore. We just finished eating and now he's taking a shower before he heads out to get some fresh air. So quit pestering me about it." It wasn't often that she and Dean disagreed on something. They were twins- he was older by two minutes and never let her forget it- and so they'd always had a special bond. They barely had any secrets from each other, telling each other everything growing up. Raising Sammy also brought them closer together during the long periods of time where their father was off on hunts.
For some reason, however, they never quite saw eye to eye when it came to Cas. Ever since the angel saved him from Hell and showed up in their lives, it had been a point of contention. He'd noticed the way Gabi looked at Cas back in the days of the first apocalypse, and had decided then and there that he wouldn't let it happen. She always tried to insist she was just grateful toward Cas that he brought Dean back from Hell, but her brother didn't believe her. He'd tried to protest when she volunteered to stay behind while he and Sam went to look into the case that turned into a lead on Amara, but Sam had pointed out that it would be nice to have someone looking out for Cas while they were gone.
"Whatever. We're not finding any more soulless people to follow to Amara, so we shouldn't be too much longer. Talk to you later."
"Bye, Dean." Gabi hung up, scanning the library shelves for anything they hadn't read yet that might contain information on the Darkness. As she did so, her mind drifted once more to the nightmare she was trying so hard to forget. In addition to herself, Lucifer also kept Crowley chained like a dog, though he didn't treat him nearly as nicely as he treated her. The sound of a throat clearing pulled her from her thoughts. She turned, seeing Cas in his normal suit and tie, adjusting the collar on his trench coat.
"Find anything?" he asked her. She shook her head, "Nothing new. Want me to head out with you?" It was the angel's turn to shake his head. "No, you stay here and keep searching. I won't be gone long." She nodded, trying to hide her disappointment as she turned back to the shelves. She heard Cas' footsteps as he headed up the stairs toward the door. However, instead of hearing him leave, she heard him breathing heavily, as if hyperventilating. When she looked over, he was leaning heavily on the railing.
"Cas?" she called out hesitantly. He didn't respond, instead rushing down the stairs and back down the hall in the direction he'd come from. When she finally caught up to him, he'd shed his trench coat and tie, back curled on his couch with the TV on. "Cas?"she tried asking again, keeping her voice gentle. "You okay?"
"Every time I try to help, I just end up hurting you and your brothers," he murmured, avoiding her gaze. Her heart shattered in her chest, and she swallowed hard. Cautiously, giving him every opportunity to tell her to go away, she moved closer, sitting next to him on the couch. When he didn't protest, she settled in quietly to watch the TV with him.
"Is that-?" Gabi gasped, eyes wide as she stared at the screen. At some point Cas had switched to a news station and they were showing video footage of a fight in the alley of a bar in Omaha. When the footage zoomed out, they could see the reflection of the cameraman in the mirror of a white van. Cas stood up, forcing her to sit up straight on the couch, moving closer to the screen with the remote in hand. As he got closer, he rewound and paused the footage when it showed the cameraman's reflection. Metatron was balancing the camera on his shoulder.
"We need to go," Cas said. "Now." She jumped up from the couch, hurrying back to her room to grab her jacket. She met Cas in the garage, climbing into the passenger seat of his Lincoln Continental and they took off.
***
"You know there was a time I could have brought you back from the brink with a snap of my fingers..." Metatron mused, staring down at the man on the ground gurgling blood. "Not that I would have." He leaned down, taking money out of the man's wallet. "But I'm not that guy anymore. I can't save you." He dropped the empty wallet on the dying man's chest.
"I can." Metatron turned, seeing Cas standing behind him in the alley with Gabi a step behind him. "How did you find me?" the former Scribe demanded. "Same way you found him," Gabi nodded at the dying man. "Scoured the police scanners, got ahead of the authorities." Cas walked past Metatron and leaned over the dying man. As he started to heal him, Metatron raised his video camera to capture the moment on film. "What was that?" the man Cas healed gasped as Gabi elbowed Metatron. He looked at Cas and her identical angry expressions.
"What?" he asked. "Look, a real-life angel caught on tape? That is way better than some random homicide." Cas swiped at the camera, sending it crashing to the ground. "Hey!" Metatron cried angrily. "Do you have any idea how much stuff I had to steal and then pawn to pay for that?!" Gabi rolled her eyes as police cars showed up at the end of the alley. Cas, Metatron and she fled the scene as the man Cas healed sat up. They ended up in an abandoned machine shop where Cas started pushing Metatron around. "Ahh! Oh," Metatron clutched his shoulder as he fell to the ground.
"Okay...," Cas glanced at the name on Metatron's hat before throwing it at him, "'Marv'. You're picking pockets, leaving a man to die. I-I- I don't know what I expected, but this is disappointing." Metatron scoffed, rubbing his shoulder and upper arm. "One to talk. You chose the life of a wage slave, slinging slurpees for, what, a month?" Gabi winced at the reminder of Cas' time banned from the Bunker because Dean had said he couldn't be there. She'd spent some time living with Cas, Dean not even putting up a fight about it back then. They later learned it was because Dean had let the angel Gadreel possess Sam and didn't want either Cas or her finding out.
Metatron had pulled himself to his feet, staring Cas down. "I am in it to win it," he continued. "I was at zero when you took my Grace, hiding from the angels, not a cent to my name. But I found my calling, and I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and started a business. And, you know, my story has only just begun."
"What story is that? You're preying like a vulture on human tragedy," Cas scoffed. Metatron stared at him incredulously. "Oh! Castiel! What century are you in? Religion is dead! The novel? Deader. You think I'm ashamed for dealing in fleeting visual sensation, in gift-length glimpses of horror, waste, and degradation?! No! I'm just caught up with the times. Reality is the great literature of our era, and I am out there, on the streets, every single night, capturing it! I am reality's author."
"Oh my God. Do you ever shut up?" Gabi groaned. "Save your story. It's not what we came for." Metatron looked from her to Cas and back. "Oh. So... straight to business. You want the Demon Tablet? Well, you're not gonna get it. I have hidden it very carefully in a place where you and your friends-"
Cas rolled his eyes, reaching inside his coat. "You hid it-" he pulled out the Tablet, "under your mattress." Gabi smirked, adding, "The TV station gave us your address, and we checked the place out. You realize you have bed bugs?"
"You broke into my apartment?" Metatron asked, glaring at them both in offense. "What do you know about the Darkness?" Cas demanded, stalking closer to the former Scribe. "The band?" Metatron feigned innocence. Cas took another step forward and he dropped the act. "Okay. Uh... Sometimes during late-night writing sessions, when God was deep in his cups, he may have let slip a few choice words. But... I don't have to tell you anything."
"Are you forgetting?" Cas growled menacingly, and Gabi felt heat rush through her body as he grabbed Metatron by the collar and slammed him against a cabinet. "You are human now, and I can crush you like a bug."
"Could, but you won't," Metatron challenged him. "You think I didn't notice? You are broken, Castiel. You were always a bit of a Nancy, but this?" Cas let go of Metatron, backing up a step. "You have gone full wuss. I don't know what it is that happened, but whatever it is, you are scarred... deeply, paralyzed by trauma, by fear."
Gabi thought back to Cas' initial response to trying to go outside the Bunker, ending up hyperventilating and running to hide away in his room once more. And his confession of feeling like he ruined everything any time he tried to help. "I mean, look at you. You can't even hit me!" She gasped as Cas threw a right hook, clocking Metatron across the face and grabbing him by the collar once more. "It's not fear," Cas growled. He punched the ex-angel once more, throwing him into a glass cabinet. She watched, heart hammering in her chest, as Cas continued to beat him up.
"The Darkness- what do you know?" Cas demanded. "Okay. So I misjudged," Metatron tried to backtrack. "You're not scared. You're mad. And I get it. I mean, it must suck being everyone's tool, manipulated and used by the angels, by your enemies-" the former Scribe crawled away from Cas, attempting to stand up. Cas just kicked him in the stomach. "-by your friends." Metatron's gaze drifted over to Gabi. Cas dragged him up by the collar, punching him until his face was swollen and bloody. Gabi bit down hard on her lip, holding her breath as she watched.
Metatron smiled, continuing to taunt the angel. "You thought if you could get your Grace back, it would help fix you, but it hasn't!" He cried out again as Cas threw another punch. "The Darkness," he growled. Metatron avoided the question, chuckling to himself. "Who do you have to thank for how angry you are, how lost?" Cas threw another punch, sending Metatron back into a workbench. Gabi shifted her weight, trying to decide if she should intervene or not. Cas had stalked over and resumed punching the former Scribe viciously. "You're welcome," Metatron said, smiling again.
Gabi took a hesitant step forward as Cas raised his fist in the air once more. "Go on, Castiel," Metatron said. "End me." Instead of punching him again, Cas let go of his collar, lowering his fist and looking at his own bloody knuckles. "No," Cas breathed. He turned around, locking eyes with Gabi and taking a couple steps in her direction. "Oh, please, Castiel," Metatron began to beg. "Help me." Cas turned back to face him in confusion. "You said you were happy, your 'bootstraps'."
"I was faking it. I mean, I thought, 'how- how hard could it be?'" Metatron started crying, tears cutting tracks through the blood on his face. "Can't take any more- not a single human day. I mean... The indignities- they just don't stop. Make- making my rent and keeping my phone charged... Hemorrhoids." Gabi wrinkled her nose as Cas crouched down to Metatron's level. "You were right, Metatron. I am sick of having my strings pulled, which is why I won't let you manipulate me into letting you off easy. Tell me about the Darkness."
Gabi was holding her breath again, waiting for the ex-angel's response. "The truth- ha- it'd make the Bible thumper heads explode," Metatron grinned, laughing. "I mean, they want their God to be a-a f-finger-snapping, all-powerful creator, you know... And they want... Mary Poppins. But what he did- creation... that took work. Took sacrifice. In order to create the world, God had to give up the only thing he'd ever known. He had to betray and sacrifice his only kin. The Darkness... His sister."
Her jaw dropped. Satisfied with the information he'd gotten, Cas straightened up. "Let's go," he murmured quietly as he passed her. "Wait!" Metatron cried out as she turned to follow Cas. "You can't just leave me here! Castiel! Gabriella!" They exited the factory, Metatron's cries fading away. "Is your hand okay?" Gabi asked Cas once they were on the street. "I'm fine," Cas dismissed her, attempting to head back toward where they'd parked the Continental. "Let me see," she tried again, reaching out to grab his hand.
"I said I'm fine, Gabi," Cas snapped, pulling away from her. She flinched, taking an involuntary step back from him. His expression softened immediately, realizing his mistake. "I promise, I'm alright," he assured her gently. "If you really want to, I'll let you treat it once we get back to the Bunker. We should get going, though." He reached out his good hand, waiting until she grabbed onto it. Her heart did flips in her chest as they walked hand-in-hand next to each other back to the car. It was moments like this that made her pray her nightmare was just a nightmare and not a prediction of things to come.
***
"Look, guys, I'm as glad as anyone that Stella got her groove back, okay? But you let Metatron go?" Dean demanded once more. Shortly after Cas and Gabi returned and she helped him get his hand bandaged, Sam and Dean had returned from their own adventure. They'd exchanged stories, which had led to Dean's angry reaction now. "Dean, how many times are you gonna repeat that question?" Cas asked in annoyance. "I'm gonna say it again. You let Metatron go?!"
"He's not going anywhere," Cas argued. "If he makes a move, if he draws the slightest attention, the full force of angelkind will snuff him out." Gabi jumped in, adding her two cents. "Look, you- neither of you saw him. He is a human- and a pitiable one at that. He's not a threat to us. I-I mean, I watched Cas put him in traction."
"Guys, bigger fish to fry here," Sam interrupted before Dean could argue with her. "Amara is in the wind." Dean scoffed, running a hand down his face. "Yeah, God's freaking sister." Cas frowned, narrowing his eyes as he focused on Gabi's twin brother. "You said you were close. Dean, how'd she get away?" They all stared at Dean expectantly, awaiting the answer. "'M sorry, what part of 'God's freaking sister' did you not understand? She overpowered me- end of story."
Cas and Sam eyed him warily, and Gabi frowned, sensing as she was often able to do that he wasn't being entirely truthful with them. She blamed it on the twin thing; she could usually tell when Dean was lying. She knew him better than just about anyone on Earth, and ever since the Darkness was released, he'd been really skittish about answering questions pertaining to her. "What's our plan here, fellas?" Dean pressed on, ignoring their looks. "You said you got everything you could out of Metatron, right? So, where on Earth are we gonna find an answer on how to stop her?" He turned to Sam, adding in a condescendingly sarcastic tone, "I don't suppose God's decided to share any wisdom on the matter."
Gabi scowled as Sam swallowed hard. "I'll look into the lore," he muttered. He hurried away from us, heading into the library. Dean met his sister's gaze, noticing her disapproving expression. "What?" he challenged her. "You're an idiot," she told him, turning on her heel and heading down the hall toward her room. As soon as she was safely inside, she slumped down against the door to catch her breath. She could almost hear Lucifer's cold laugh, Cas' vessel twisted in an evil grin.