Archive of Our Own ^beta

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OkAh, finally I've done it. These are a collection of fics that I've written for my tumblr account: @lotusarchon. If you find these posted on any other site, then it sure as hell isn't me.

I suppose, now that I've finally posted this: you may leave requests either on THIS chapter or on my Tumblr. So long as I can write it, I'll write. If I can't write it, I'll let you know :D But yeah, requests are opened, I guess? Idk lmfao- I can pretty much write anything, which vary from fluff, nsfw/smut to angst. Just request it and I'm yours to command.

Uh..what else- ah. No, I do not allow my fics to be translated or reposted anywhere else. If you do that, I hope you rot in a way not even God above would be willing to accept you into His home. 

Toodles.

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Oh boy, vampire Mayor brain rot now.

Where do we start with him? He’s still pretty much the same old Mayor- weird as ever, eldritch abomination, LBD’s lap-dog.

Now he has fangs and a thirst for blood.

And you, you especially- you’re his favorite. He really, really likes how nice you look: there’s something about you that has his tongue heavy in his mouth and his taste buds watering, itching to sink his teeth in your soft flesh and drain you (but at least not to hurt you.)

And, if you’re aware, and you let him- well, say goodbye to your rationality and morality. All that is long since abandoned the moment you consent to the Mayor doing whatever he wants, and by the gods he takes that to his advantage.

You could be anywhere, he’s having you. Maybe not during the day (how unfortunate), but at night whether you’re out or in your cozy little home, the Mayor will pin you to the nearest surface and have his way with you all night long. You better pray you have no plans the next day because when he starts, he’s not stopping till you’ve literally your voice is broken and you’re passed out- and even then, if you’ve claimed you’re okay with it- he’ll have you while unconscious . He’s a vampire, what else were you thinking?

Knowing the Mayor, he probably had a blood kink that worsened when he became a vampire. It’s not his fault! It’s yours for smelling and tasting so good- it has him hard in his pants even before he has his hands on you. You taste so sweet for him, so sweet and warm in comparison to his freezing body. His hands are always cold when they touch you, roaming every curve and scar on your body, feeling you up while you squirm under him. Any noises are silenced by him kissing you sloppily, greedily nipping at your bottom lip to taste your mouth, and drinking in your moans. He grinds himself against you, relishing in how you whine and buck into him, and he can’t help but find it adorable how you always react to him.

If he’s generous, he’ll finger you nicely while his teeth kisses your neck or wrist- whichever you’re comfortable with him drawing blood. His  fingers work inside you, scissoring slowly, sometimes using only two fingers, sometimes more, drawing out desperate little cries from you. It’s only to distract you of course when his fangs pierces your skin and he feasts on your blood. He’s always trying to be gentle in the beginning, his tongue lapping at your skin while you cling to him- sometimes his fingers will curl and rub that special spot in you that has you chanting his name over and over again.

When that was done- and he had his fill- then he’ll give you what you’d been begging him for the entire night, bent over wherever he wants while his cock stretches your pretty walls and you moan his name for your neighbors to hear. Sure, you’d regret it in the morning, but technically you were asking for it! And he’s giving it to you- as a reward, sort of. When you’re so generously sharing your blood with him, and he can make you feel good too, right?

And it’s not like you mind- not when the Mayor knows damn well what he’s doing, fucking you and filling you up nicely till you can only remember his name alone.

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Sometimes, I don't know what my purpose is.

I mean, that's not true. I'm sure I serve a good purpose.

I am my father's son. I am Pigsy's son. 

I am a noodle delivery boy. Everyday, I go to work, and I enjoy myself too.

I am….I am the Monkie Kid. The protege of the great hero Monkey King. The hero of the city.

I am…. MK. I am me.

But it's a weird thing, being me. Being me means being a lot of things, but sometimes I'm not even sure what I am.

Because….holy shit. What was I even made for?

It's like…it's like one of those days. When you wake up, and it's not early but also not late, and there's not much noise. And there's not much Life going on, so you lie there in silence and stare at the ceiling. Sometimes when I stare too much, those blinky things happen and then I see white spots.

It's the fact…the slow realization that I'm alive. That I'm not a doll, or some random person living a life that was given. I'm alive, and I feel things. I exist, and yet I don't know why.

What the fuck is my purpose in this godforsaken hell?! Why must I exist to hurt the ones I love?!

Why?!

He haunts me wherever I go.

It's…usually not that funny, really. He haunts me like a plague, never letting me sleep. In my dreams he's there, waiting for me, and when I'm awake, he's still there. Here. Stuck with me.

“Who are you?” I asked, with desperation and tears. I ask because if I don't I'll go mad again. 

He―they ―look at me, with a smile that resembles mine, and yet it doesn't. They smile like a monster that has finally captured the prey they've been looking for, waiting in the shadows. 

Their eyes are too bright. They're an inky abyss that blends into the darkness, but there's a silhouette that always makes them easier to notice than the others. That faint blue glow, just like her.

That witch.

(Do you mean the Lady Bone Demon~?)

“What do you think I am?” He asked, amused as ever. My pain is his enjoyment. “You can't tell me you're this stupid, MK.”

I don't have the energy to glare at him. Nowadays I barely have the energy to even speak to him.

Still….I can't help but ask, “Why are you still around?”

The scroll they come from had long since stayed in Nezha's care. When that incident happened, I destroyed him, didn't I? Monkey King said I did.

“Hm.”

They tilt their head and their smile becomes inhumanely wider.

“Well. That depends. Why do you think I'm still around?”

I frowned. “Because you're a nuisance.”

“Ooh~ouch! My heart―” They sneer and prop themselves on the edge of my bed, ink stains that remind me of a lesson I once failed. “So mean. Aw, harbinger, are you mad? You don't wanna accept that no matter where you go, I'll always be with you, forever and ever?”

I tried calligraphy class once with Mei. The strokes were too rough, the brush too big, and in the end all that was left behind was a stained parchment and wasted ink. 

“Oh, tut tut, don't get so gloomy on me now!” They prod at my face, and I slap their hand away with a glare. “You know it's true, why still fight it? MK, no matter how much you try to run, no matter how many lies you may feed yourself. In every timeline, every era, every universe, anywhere that you go―”

I pulled my covers above my head, like a little kid again, and tried to block them out.

“I will always be with you. You and I are one and the same.”

I've noticed something lately.

I made a friend.

They call themselves (Name). They're kind, and pretty. They remind me of someone I once knew a long time ago.

They make life bearable. Sometimes, I even find myself dreaming about them in the dead of the night, dreams of us always together, as friends or something else entirely.

But he is quiet.

I thought I was imagining it at first. Maybe he got bored of me and took his leave. 

No. He was still there. When the lights are off I can still see him in a corner, his eyes the only part of him I can see.

But he's quiet.

I don't dare ask anything though. I don't want him to haunt me again, like a disease. I want to be able to wake up and pretend he was just a bad dream, and on some days, I get lucky.

Other times, not so much.

(Name) doesn't know anything about what happened. I've never told them I'm a hero, or that I've had such a shitty fucking year since picking up that fucking staff. I've never even told them about my other friends.

They're my special secret. When they smile at me, it makes me feel warm. I don't want to ruin what I have with them.

They just mean too much.

Sometimes, I think I'm hallucinating a bit. 

When our hands brush against each other or we share smiles and glances, it almost seems like they're flustered. And sometimes, I'll think, ‘Maybe they think the same.’

They're gentle, like the wind. I'm scared that if I share that I love them too much they'll shatter and disappear.

So…I'll swallow my tongue, and I'll stay silent. I won't ruin the good thing that I have.

It's funny though.

I'm back in the same room again, and there's a brush between my fingers and a stained parchment paper on the table.

And I can see him nearby, silent as the ink that stains my fingers.

“Do you think they'll love me?” I asked, out loud, and out of habit.

I wait, and wait…

And he finally answers,

“How can anyone love you, when you don't even love yourself, harbinger?”

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“Where the hell am I?”

You stumbled in your steps trying to move through the unseeable darkness, swearing that this is the last time you'll ever disobey Wukong and mess around with his shit.

In your defense though, he was technically to blame….. he knows how you are when you're told not to do something! It's second nature!

And…that second nature is the reason how you wound up in this fucked up little place. But besides the point.

You dusted off your clothing, and raised your head. Maybe you fell into a hole???

You had no idea. One minute, you were with MK and Mei, then the next you were in here.

“MK? Mei?? Hellooooooo―” You cupped your hands around your mouth, shouting into the empty void. “Where are you guys? Helloooooo―”

The darkness was so unbelievably ...dark. Very creative choice of words, but who could blame you?? It's not like you were some sort of poet; it was dark, and that was final. 

You weren't even completely aware that you were walking in a particular direction at this point, hands outstretched to feel anything to ground yourself against.

“Oh?”

A noise echoed through the darkness, like a rock breaking the surface of a lake.

You froze in place and looked around. 

“Anyone there?” You deadpanned, and―nope, it was still dark. Well fuck. 

MK was a good guy, I mean, don't get you wrong. He was sweet and gentle and a cutie.

But god damn it, why did he always find himself in such weird adventures? And why were you involved in said adventure now? How was this even fair?

You would've kept walking forever, honestly, if you hadn't noticed the pair of glowing eyes staring at you in some other direction.

The place was so dark that you were surprised you missed it, even more so with how bright they glowed, and how they seemed to form crescents as they stared back at you.

What was the saying? Stare into the abyss long enough for the abyss to stare back? Or was that some other phrase?

Regardless…it freaked you a little, especially when the thing showed no intention of moving or even approaching you. 

This entire ordeal felt like a situation out of a horror movie. Unfortunately for you, you were an idiot, so―

“What the fuck are you supposed to be?” You exclaimed. “Don't you look at me like that, you crazy fucking―whatever you are! Why are your eyes glowing?! What are you, Gojo?!”

No one said you were a smart person.

The thing stared at you for a long while, and just as you contemplated trying to run into the darkness beyond, they moved.

You squeezed your eyes shut when the darkness began to dim, graying before it was completely lit up by a dark blue-ish atmosphere. Once your eyes adjusted to the new light, you figured you were on a version of Flower Fruit Mountain, but more emo-like and boring.

The glowing eyes had disappeared, and thus you assumed you had sealed your fate by cursing some eldritch abomination out. Was now a bad time to say how sorry you were for burning Tang's weird notebook of fanfiction?

Oh well. If you had to die by the hands of an eldritch abomination, then so be it. At least you cursed them out, which was an achievement in your eyes.

With a small sigh, you stared over the cliff to see if there was any way of leaving. As far as your eye could see, there was nothing but the same gloomy atmosphere for miles. If there was a way to get down, what good would it do you in the end?

You moved to take a step away from the cliff, and felt yourself run into something solid.

That's weird. There wasn't anything behind you before, was there?

Confused, you tilted your head back, and blinked.

“Hi~!”

“What the fuck?!”

You know….you expected a lot of random shit from your friend's adventures, but to see a version of him looking like something from Bendy and the Ink Machine was not one of your expectations.

I mean…he looked hot, there was no denying that, all smug and weird but―he was fucking ink. Ink!

“Careful there, (Name). You'll fall~!” The thing remarked, their hand gripping your arm from falling. They pulled you away from the cliff, and smirked. “We wouldn't want you to die now, would we?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Dying is gay. I'm not gay. I'm a bitch―” It really wasn't your fault your mouth spoke before you thought. You pulled your hand away, pouting at the faint ink stains against your sleeve, and looked at the creature weirdly. “And who are you, anyway?”

They looked at you like you were an idiot. Maybe you were, actually.

“Who do you think I am?”

“Definitely not Bendy―” You scratched your cheek and observed them. They definitely looked a lot like MK, but in a monkey demon form?? It was hard to say―they were literally an ink silhouette that was hard to decipher. “You know, you look a lot like MK, actually.”

A smirk danced on their lips, and you could've sworn they were mocking you as they perched themselves on their rock, clapping their hands slowly.

“Well done!” They remarked in a cheery-mocking tone. “You used your head for once! Impressive~!”

You narrowed your eyes on them. “Don't you mock me, you ugly bitch.”

“I would tell you the same thing, baby, but something tells me you'd love that, wouldn't you?”

And they were insufferable. Good to know; your MK was typically more gentler, nicer in comparison. Looking at him was enough to make him hide his face with the prettiest blush known to man, but not this ink version. This ink demon liked messing with you.

And maybe you liked it a little.

“What would you know?” You snapped back. “You're just a weirdo. Look at you! You're a washed up version of the real MK! You're not really him!”

Washed up wasn't really the word you were thinking about with this ink MK. You were thinking something on the lines of borderline inappropriate with their deep voice because…wow. You had to wonder if MK could have a deep voice too.

Not that you didn't mind how he always sounded. But a deep voice MK was something you weren't sure you needed until this very moment…

It's almost as if they could read your mind though. They kept giving you this weird look, smiling as if they knew something you didn't.

And you, like an idiot, had to keep insulting them, because if you didn't, you were positive you would die because they scared the ever living hell out of you.

But in a span of a few minutes, this inkified MK was on top of you, pinning you against the flat surface of their rock seat.

One of their hands was on your stomach, and the other held your hand, smiling down at you.

….what was going on?

“I―”

Oh my god. Oh my god, what were you doing? This was too fast! Wait, someone―help!

“You know. You're cute when you're all surprised like this―” You heard them comment above you, their eyes crescent. “But so annoying when you're blabbering. How does he put up with you, I wonder?”

You must've displayed your confusion, because they snickered.

“I mean the real one. The one you fantasize about so much.”

Oh. MK.

“Not my fault I'm hot as hell,” you couldn't help but say, and they stared at you with a blank explanation.

No wonder Monkey King was always stressing his ass off behind you. You were insane sometimes.

If you died right now, you doubted anyone would've been surprised. Your mouth is just too stupid for its own good.

With a low chuckle, they closed the distance between you two, hovering above you with a smirk.

“You are, aren't you?” They murmured. “Hot, but annoying.”

They went silent, and for a moment you wondered if they were having one of those astral projections.

And then ….

“You know what. Let's put your mouth to use, darling.”

You weren't sure if you were surprised or impressed when their lips felt solid against yours.

Did you mind? Not really, it was kinda hot.

You just had to hope the real MK wouldn't find you, because that would be quite an interesting conversation for later.

“Oh, hey MK! Guess what; I've had fantasies of fucking you so I decided to do it with an ink version of you instead.”

“Oh wow (Name)! That's not fucking creepy at all!”

Yeah….no.

Ink MK was a really good kisser though. You had no idea if this was because the real MK was good at kissing, or if this was some sort of magical talent or something to be envied. Their hand cupped your face, their tongue cold and dragging against your lips for entrance.

A moan managed to escape you when you parted your lips for them, and their tongue set to work tasting every inch of you. Their hands slid under your shirt, tracing your binder, your stomach, going lower till they were on your ass.

They smiled against the kiss when you gasped, settling themselves between your legs, and a knee pressing against your clothed crotch.

Every single noise you made was swallowed up by the greedy ink demon, who wasted no time teasing you. They nipped at your bottom lip till it was near bruising, hands moving from your ass to your front, hooking in the loops of your pants.

The kiss could've gone on forever, if it wasn't for the fact that you were a human that needed to breathe. They pulled away, smirking at the drool covering your lips and your flushed expression.

“Cat got your tongue?” They teased, raising your lower half high enough to pull off your shorts in one swift motion.

“Shut up,” you grumbled in response.

“Why~ you don't like me when I talk to you, mmh?” 

Your expression grew hotter when you felt their fingers against your entrance. They were teasing you, that prick, rubbing against your folds, brushing against your clit but never giving you the pleasure of slipping inside.

That cocky, son of a―

“Ah ah, sweetie. Gotta use your words.”

As if they could read your mind, their free hand grabbed your chin, tilting your head to face them. They smiled, their thumb brushing against your bottom lip while their fingers teased your cunt.

“MK―”

“Huh? Speak louder, sweetie. I can't hear you from there.”

They were having fun, clearly. They continued to tease you, and every movement you made was met with their fingers pulling away, making you squirm and whine their name in desperation.

“Don't tease,” you complained, reaching for their wrist. “Please.”

“Mmh. Why shouldn't I?” They tilted their head in an innocent display. “You like this, don't you? A little slut, desperate for someone to touch you.” They shrugged, and your body jolted slightly when their thumb pressed against your clit, rubbing painfully slow around it. “If you want it so bad, you've gotta beg, pretty boy.”

You could've whined in despair at their cruel remark. Their free hand continued to hold you in place, teasing you relentlessly while you bite your tongue in despair.

They could've gone on forever with teasing you, but you caved in, your desperation overcoming your pride.

“MK―” Your voice cracked. “Please, please touch me, don't tease me. You know I was kidding, right? You're not a washed up version of the real MK! You're um….hotter? No―nicer? Umm―”

It was a wonder this one hadn't gotten tired of you yet. They stared at you while your mouth babbled nonsense, and they couldn't help but chuckle at the display.

You were cute, but so stupid.

And how could they try to resist when you were trying so hard to get off?

Their fingers traced your hole, causing you to fall silent mid-ramble. Your expression flushed, they finally slipped their fingers inside, pumping two at a time while you clung to them, lips parted in a moan.

Your nails dig into their shoulders, bucking your hips against their hands.

Their smile never faded as their fingers worked inside you, thrusting them inside of you, moving in a scissoring motion that made you mewl and cling to them as if your life depended on it.

“You're taking me so well,” they murmured in your ear, curling their fingers in a way that made you cry out in surprise. “So dirty too.”

They spoke so casually, as if they weren't edging you on purpose, drawing out your pretty moans while you squirmed beneath them, your walls clenching around their fingers.

“Can't even understand what he doesn't see in you,” they continued, their thumb toying with your clit. “You're such a cute little whore~ so pretty. You should tell him you love him, you know?”

There was no way you were understanding anything he was saying. All you could think of was the warmth in your stomach and the way their fingers quickened their pace, pumping and curling inside of you until you had come undone by their fingers.

Instead of pulling out, they continued to thrust inside of you lazily, observing you with a grin.

“I think I'll keep you here with me for a little while,” they purred, kissing your flushed cheek. “Give you something to remember me by, yeah?”

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Peng's favorite pastime had to be whenever he spent it with you . You were so pretty, the perfect being in their eyes. He absolutely adored you, with your confident little personality, and the way you were one of the few dumb enough to argue back with that Monkey King and his short temper.

What could he say? They had a weak spot for a pretty thing like yourself.

Which was why, they never had any shame whenever they found themselves alone with you. You never rejected their advances, so they were allowed to keep going, right?

Always so pretty, that's why you of all people became the object of their affection. Having you on their lap, their fingers toying against your hole, praising you while you moaned and whined his name, begging for him to move , to have you as they wanted.

Sure, he wouldn't tell you, but he really did adore you, you know. You were so pretty, so perfect. Everytime you would latch onto him, moaning in their ear, chanting their name, it made them fall harder in love.

They took extra care with you, always. Fingers lubed, teasing your greedy little hole while you laid yourself bare for him. They'd coo your name, praising you for taking them so well, watching how your pretty cock twitched and pleaded with him to keep going. Teasing you till you were shooting blanks, and only then he'd give you what you wanted, filling you up till you could only remember their name alone.

You were his secret, and for good reason. They couldn't have their brothers knowing about you―they were just too greedy, that's all.

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Being the hero of the city was no easy task, was it? Having to deal with difficult villains, one after the other every single day, a pattern that had been formed, no one in their right mind could stand it.

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MK doesn't understand why he's feeling so lovestruck and giddy whenever you're around. This feeling is completely new to him; a jittery, pleasant feeling that has him crashing into lampoles during work hours and picturing your beautiful laugh. He doesn't get why, whenever someone mentions your name, he freaks, and his heart feels like it'll explode if he's not careful, but in a way he likes . When you're around he can feel himself walking on sunshine, literally, because you're the prettiest girl he's ever seen, with eyes that he could get lost in forever.

He finds himself asking Monkey King, because surely , Monkey King could have an answer, right? Monkey King was the smartest man alive!

Spoiler alert: Monkey King was in fact, the dumbest man alive.

He says MK's sick with love, but that's not right. MK loves you as a friend , there's no way he actually loves you, right? Friends don't love friends: it's a rule that Macaque told him once.

Friends do not look at friends like they've been granted the greatest thing in existence, and they most certainly do not get all blushy-blushy whenever you're nearby and trying to look cool so you'd notice him.

Friends do not do that. Friends are friends.

But, dear god, why does he want for your friendship to end so that he could be your boyfriend? You like him too, surely. 

Well, Monkey King was no help. Time to ask Pigsy for help.

“You shouldn't tease him like that,” Pigsy says to you, watching his kid stumble across the restaurant. “You're distracting him from work.”

He sighs when MK runs smack into a wall, and you giggle, which makes him blush.

“You should just tell him you feel the same, kid,” he deadpans. “I can't stand watching him break his bones like this.”

“I know, I know,” you say, a smile on your lips. MK catches your gaze, and you both look away, shy and incredibly awkward. “But…he's so cute, like this.”

“He won't be so cute when I send you into orbit.”

“Oh c'mon!”

Mei knows exactly what was going on the day you embraced her and cried. You showered her in kindness that she hadn't been so sure on how to respond, listening to you cry and beg her not to run off like that again, that next time she should be considerate of your feelings, how you missed her when she disappeared from the city, how scared you'd been when MK told you what happened to her with the Samadhi fire. How worried you were, your flushed expression, your teary eyes..Mei knew she liked girls, but this was a new level of love she would never comprehend.

It's a strange feeling indeed. She finds herself staring at you when you're not looking, imagining what it'd feel to hold you close in a tight embrace. How it would feel to wake up every morning sharing a bed with you, a ring on your finger. How pretty you'd look at her side near the altar, wearing a dress, and how you'd look as her wife.

Oh…oh god. Oh god, she was getting ahead of herself, wasn't she?! How could she be imagining that when she hasn't even asked you out because she's a little coward?! Oh god, oh god!!!

“Is she okay?” You ask Tang, wincing as the dragon girl runs headfirst into Red Son and MK, dragging them into the sea with her. You can spy her looking your way, and you raise your hand with a lovely smile, and while you can't see it, her friends can spy the dark blush on her expression that she hides by shoving her head underwater.

Tang looks at you, stealing the popsicle Wukong had given you before. He sticks his tongue out while the popsicle melts in his hands, making you sigh, “You're an idiot.”

“Mmh, says you ―” The scholar swallows the peach whole. “The answer is so obvious.”

“Is it?” You wince again when Red Son shrieks, “WHAT THE FUCK DRAGON GIRL?!”, and you're greeted with the sight of Mei picking up the fire boy by the ankle and throwing him at MK to catch. The noodle boy fails to catch him and they both fall into the water. “Because I have no idea.”

“Oh, don't be stupid. You know she likes you!”

“But does she like like me?” You point out. “She's been acting weird , Tang. I don't know anymore…”

Tang sighs. He reaches over to pat your back, and gestures at the dragon girl flexing her arms, and occasionally looking your way.

“She's trying so hard to get your attention,” he deadpans. “I'm certain if she's not gay, then she's insane.”

“Helpful.”

“No problem. Now go be gay and do crimes!!!”

Red Son does not do ‘love.’ He is the son of the great Demon Bull King and the beautiful Princess Iron Fan, and he does not fall in love. Love is for pathetic peasants who have no idea what to do with themselves, so they fool themselves with stupid emotions and waste their life away trying to get someone to feel the same. Love is but a tool used by the gods to get more little peasants , and Red Son is not a peasant. He is Red Son , the most powerful man alive, and he would rather be shoved into a meat grinder and be turned into meat for the noodle boy's food than to ever admit he was in love, worst of all with a mortal .

Which is funny, actually, because you've been plaguing his mind so much that the idea of love being a disease seems a bit far-fetched and childish now. You, you pathetic mortal that managed to get a grip on his heart, sneaking your way into his head, haunting his dreams by being all ‘cute and pretty’, bah! Curse you! How dare you do this to him!? Don't you realize what you've done?! Now he spends his free time thinking of you, wondering what you're doing!! He checks his phone for every message from you , and when you compliment him he runs home and hides in his room and kicks his feet like a little girl in love! How could you! How dare you bring him to such a level?!

You found it a bit funny how Red Son was the one who invited you here, and yet he's ignoring you and insulting you like it's your fault for being there to begin with. 

If you hadn't honestly realized what he was up to, you would've beaten his ass for calling your outfit ‘gloomy.’

“Why do you even like him?” Mei asks, sipping on her milkshake while Red stomps around like an angry child, after casually making the shoe store vendor cry for giving you his number. “He's a prick.”

“It's kinda hot though,” you admit, waving goodbye at the shoe store guy. Obviously, that doesn't sit right with Red, because he comes back to grab your hand and pulls you behind him. 

Mei follows, shaking her head. “You're weird.”

“Says you .”

“My girlfriend is pretty, fuck you.”

Nezha is actually genuinely confused. He thinks he's sick the first time he blushes around you. He assumes it's contagious when, the following day, you held his hand, and his heart was racing faster than Erlang's hunting dogs. The symptoms are very strange; racing heart, warm skin, blood rushing to his head and ehem other places. Having dreams of kissing you, cuddling you. Thinking things so improperly , getting annoyed when someone else so casually touches you….okay, maybe he is coming down with something. That was the only reasonable explanation he could think of, because that was the only thing that made sense . Nezha doesn't understand feelings , and who could blame him with a father like Li Jing?

He refuses to go to Erlang Shen or his brothers for help. They would mock him, or worse yet, try to give him that disgusting celestial medicine. Who can he turn to in such a dire time?

Sun fucking Wukong. God, he wants to die, asking Wukong of all people ... .but it was better him than another celestial. He swallows his pride and asks the great Sage ... .and completely forgets why no one ever asks Wukong for advice for relationships. That idiot Wukong….he tells him he's in love , and that he should be mean in order to get you to like him, because that is definitely how it works according to TV.

(It is not, in fact, going to work, but thank god, Princess Iron Fan is a life saver when he comes to her doors in the middle of the night begging for an adult with a brain.)

You stifle your yawn as you stand outside, ignoring your body's pleas of going back to bed to sleep the rest of the night away. It would be impolite of you, especially when Nezha is standing in front of you, fidgeting in place.

You sigh, and break the awkward silence by asking, “Nezha. Are you alright?”

He stops fidgeting, and stares at you.

Gods, you miss your bed.

“U-um, you look pretty―” He exclaims, and…you're not sure how to react to that when you're dressed in an ugly, hand-sewn sweater with a rat’s nest for hair. 

Still, the compliment is sweet.

“Thanks…” You tilt your head. “But….is that all you want? To tell me I…look okay?”

Nezha fidgets. “No.”

“Oh.”

You wait, again, and he gulps, looking away.

“I-I uh…want to ask you…to go out with me. Romantically. Please.”

….. aw . You can't help but smile at the weird attempt, especially when Nezha refuses to look at you after those words spilled out of his mouth. You could tease him about it, but the poor guy looks like he's going to burst into lotus petals, so you'll give him an answer.

“I'd love too,” you assure him. “But maybe next time, let's not do this at 3 in the morning, alright? I'm about to pass out from exhaustion―Nezha?!”

Turns out Nezha beat you to that passing out contest. Oh boy.

Chapter Text

Bai He would kill you once she found you again. She'd told you time and time again to stop treating her like a child, and even less leaving her behind to risk your life repeatedly.

Sadly….you weren't dubbed her older brother without reason. How else did you wind up being the vessel for that stupid Bone Demon to begin with, aside from whatever stupid reasons Wukong had once claimed. And well, you did have a habit of being way too impulsive, so could anyone be surprised?

When Azure had showed up, you just happened to tag along and leave Bai He home alone. You also just happened to be sucked into a scroll and happened to join MK and his friends in another world threatening adventure.

(Bai He is 100% going to kill you. Say your prayers.)

To be fair though, it's not like she shouldn't have expected it. You were never the type to fight for others. You just fought to keep your sister, and surprisingly now, your boyfriend and his companions safe. That was pretty much the gist of it.

Alas, this last minute interference just nearly cost you your life. Azure Lion could have killed you if your boyfriend hadn't saved your ass.

(That monkey form though? Hot as fuck.)

That didn't mean you weren't without your own injuries. You were certain your body was covered in not-so-pretty bruises in the aftermath of being used as a distraction and being tossed and thrown around like a ragdoll. You know you said you sympathized with Azure, but in the aftermath; fuck that guy. Seriously, you couldn't even lie down from the pain. Ugh.

When MK's friends finished worrying over him, and some (Pigsy) ready to give Wukong an earful for his definition of ‘fun’, you noticed your boyfriend had disappeared. Nezha was long gone with Yellowtusk in cuffs, Peng ran like a coward, Azure was dead and the group had split but…

Where'd your boyfriend go?

You were too busy frowning to take note of the figure sneaking up behind you, and a pair of arms wrapping around your middle until it was too late. You had half a mind to smack the figure, assuming them to be either Mei or Wukong coming to bother you, but no. 

It was just MK, who was smiling up at you with his typical dorky smile. Thank Heavens you hadn't actually hit him.

“(Name)!” He gasped as you turned to face him, still latched onto your torso like a mousetrap. “You're alive!”

“Of course I'm alive―” You sighed at his remark, brushing the rocks stuck to his hair from his battle. “You sound surprised.” You raised a brow. “Don't tell me you thought I would've died, huh? What idiot doubts his boyfriend like that?”

“That's not what I meant!!” MK hurriedly defended himself. “I-I was just scared, okay?!”

You were half tempted to tease him further, but after a second you decided against it. He was alright for now, but knowing MK…he wouldn't be in the right mood to mess with after all the mess he'd been through.

So, you gave his cheek a gentle pat, reassuring him.

“It's not your fault, relax,” you said. “So, quit looking so gloomy, monkey man.”

He relaxed, but only for a vague three and a half seconds before he frowned once again.

And boy do you recognize that worried stare. How could you not, when your sister ends up with the same expression very often every time you do something stupid?

(You're starting to wish Mei or Wukong had in fact sneaked up on you.)

“You're hurt,” MK pointed out, taking your hand into his. His eyes drifted from your face to the cuts on your palms (whoops), and the frost burned on your fingers. 

You sweatdropped. “It was an accident.”

“You were reckless!” He barely even gave you a chance to protest. You were grabbed (gently), thrown over his shoulder and forced to be brought back to Monkey King's hut and made to sit while he disappeared.

Oh, sure, he could risk his life against the blue, no balls bastard that tried to kill him and his mentor, but when you did it, it was a problem?!

“Yes! Yes it is, (Name)! You're important to me! Why would you be so reckless and hurt yourself?!”

Oh. He heard you. 

You sighed as he reappeared from the entrance with what looked to be a medical kit in his hands and an annoyed look on his fatigue-ridden expression. A part of you felt guilty by causing him to worry, but what else could you do? Stand by and let Azure hurt your boyfriend and destroy the world your little sister lived in?

“MK.” He barely even looked at you while fumbling with the kit. You hadn't noticed it before, but now, while he struggled to open the small box, his fingers trembled. Was he…scared? Perhaps exhausted? You frowned. “MK, look at me.”

The noodle boy raised his head to glare at you. You rolled your eyes and took the kit from him, opening it with ease.

He stared. “Oh.”

“Yes. Oh .” You held up one of the bandages that held a cute little cat in its center. This was definitely Sandy's kit he borrowed, wasn't it? You couldn't believe the blue guy kept the bandages he got from Bai He as a gift after so many months.

(Mental reminder: don't forget to check on Sandy later.)

MK snatched the bandaid from you. He closed the distance between you two to dab at one of the minor cuts on your cheek.

You winced, but said nothing. MK was most certainly not very experienced when it came to patching up his own wounds, which made sense given he's the Monkey King's protege and most wounds he ever did obtain would just heal almost immediately.

Which, technically, was so unfair . You ended up with a ghost lady and had so many weaknesses you may as well be a Victorian child nearing death.

Silence and an unwanted tension filled the air. While MK was usually the chatterbox of your relationship, you found yourself feeling…guilty, somehow. Because the only reason for his silence could only be your fault, right?

You purse your lips, a frown on your expression. When the silence became too much, you decided to speak.

“I'm sorry .”

MK raised his head and stared at you, and you stared back.

“I―” You sighed. “I'm sorry, really. For uh, making you worry.”

(What? You grew up with your sister of all things. You think you ever learned how to apologize properly!?)

MK stayed silent. His hands stopped their awful dabbing at your face, and the cotton ball was soaked. How badly had you even bled?

The burning sensation in your hands from frost burn was beginning to clear. MK's free hand had been intertwined with yours, and his warmth made the cold almost seem nonexistent.

(His hands were always so coarse. Yours were still smooth even after years of laboring as much as he had.)

“Don’t…apologize,” MK said quietly. “That's―it's not your fault, (Name). You've always been..so kind to me. And everyone else too. And, and you're always blaming yourself for stuff, but it's not your fault.”

You frowned, and he gave you a lopsided smile.

“That's what you told me, remember?” He shook his head. “You told me before that everything that happened, what should happen, isn't my fault. But it's not yours either, (Name). I..was just scared.”

He bit his lip, his thumb against your palm tracing patterns.

“You were hurt, and I didn't even get a chance to save you.”

Ah. He wasn't mad at you. He was mad at himself .

He stared into your eyes, his gaze so gentle, but so worried.

“I don't need saving,” you answered, and with your free hand gently cupped his cheek with a small smile. “I think I'll be fine enough on my own, you worrywart.”

He frowned, so you cut him off by pressing your lips against his, silencing him from protesting anymore. MK stilled under you, but after a moment returned the kiss with as much gentleness as he could, as if if he dared push further, you would break.

You pull away from the kiss, your expression slightly flushed, and press your foreheads together.

“You're an idiot,” you say, breathlessly. “I'll be fine, dumbass. I'm not going anywhere, ever.”

MK was silent for a minute. His arms wrapped around your torso, pulling you into him.

“I know. I love you so much, (Name),” he murmured. “You won't leave me, will you?”

You sighed, embracing him in return.

“Not in this lifetime, noodle boy.”

Chapter Text

Liked.

Liked.

Liked.

Liked.

Lik―

“Mei? Are you okay?” MK's voice made the dragon girl flinch. God damn it, MK, have some courtesy, will you? “You've been staring at your phone all day. What gives?”

“Erm.” Mei pursed her lips trying to come up with an excuse. How does she explain to her best friend that no, she is not chronically online, she's just been too busy stalking someone's online profile and liking any and all pics related to them, without sounding like a fucking freak?

(She, sadly, cannot. Sadly.)

MK rolled his eyes. As if he had any right to judge; he was online far more times than she was. 

“Can you two morons just, I don't know, pay attention for once?” Red Son's voice cut them both off. Clearly, the little red boy was still not very happy at the idea of suffering defeat at the hands of idiot one and idiot two, much less being their friend . Mei and MK joked a lot about Red having mental breakdowns about the concept of friendships, but lately they've been wondering if it wasn't much of a joke anymore.

Mei slid her phone into her pockets, away from MK's grubby little hands. She swatted his hands from trying to steal her phone, and joined him where Red Son was standing, overlooking a staircase that upon closer inspection seemed to be covered in blood.

Ah.

“Are you sure this is a demon's doing?” MK asked, using his sleeve to cover his nose from the stench of day old blood and rotting flesh. “I mean….I know your kind is fucking weird, no offense, but even this seems too far.”

“That's racist,” Mei commented unhelpfully, using a handkerchief to tie around her nose, and even then the stench was unbeatable. Yuck. “And, mean.”

“How is that mean?”

“Well! Demons take pride in being cruel, silly MK! If you say stuff like that, you're downgrading these demons' hard work and joy!”

“R-really!?”

“No.” Red Son gave Mei a glare. Somehow, he was wearing a surgical mask―he came prepared. “Don't be an idiot, dragon girl.”

Mei offered an innocent smile. It wasn't her fault MK had a tendency of being so gullible sometimes. That's what makes their daily ghost stories so fun!! MK was too easy to scare!

Sadly, Pigsy, and now somehow Red Son, weren't very happy with her idea of a joke. A scared MK meant a clingy MK, and now said guy was currently clinging to Red Son like a wet cat. Sure, Red could drop him, but maybe he just liked the closure. He was just too much of a bitch to admit it.

They followed the blood trail down the stairs, and Mei unhelpfully brought up the American urban legend of a skinwalker. Safe to say, it was a good thing she was ahead of the boys, or Red Son would set her on fire and leave her there to burn.

(Jerk.)

“Oh…it's not that bad―” MK commented when they found the area where the blood trail stopped. There was nothing but a detached arm left, covered in bite marks, pale with purple bruises. Mei swore it subtly twitched and MK hid near Red. 

The smell was horrible . The fact neither three gagged meant that they'd been in situations to handle said smell, and Mei didn't know how to feel about that.

(To be fair. To be fair. Mei had come across roadkill once before on her bike practicing trips. She couldn't leave them there, so she decided to give them proper burials, okay!? But what excuse did MK and Red Son have!?!)

“It looks like the guy was in some fight,” Red commented, kneeling to examine the remains with a fancy tool. She wasn't a doctor, okay? Don't judge her. 

“How do you know it was a guy?” MK asked. 

“Yeah. That's misogynistic, Red Boy!”

Red Son flashed her a look. “Are you dumb on purpose? Actually―” He held up a hand. “Don't answer that. I'll fucking kill you.”

Mei pouted.

“Anyways, noodle boy , we have an identification for him.” Red Son gave them a look. “Didn't you read the files I sent you yesterday?”

Mei and MK made no comment.

Red Son sighed, digging through his pockets for something before throwing the papers at the idiot duo.

Mei caught one of them, staring at the picture while Red Son acted out some forensic scenario. The guy was giving her major red flags; weird name, weird pic, was last seen following a girl, was one of those…otakus? A fanboy for a popular idol who was mainstreaming at the time.

She caught her best friend's gaze and frowned. This guy was definitely asking for it; he most likely followed the wrong girl home, and his life ended quickly. It was pitiful, but Mei didn't feel the slightest bit sorry for his situation.

“Wellllll, do we have any clues?” Mei asked, giving the paper to MK to catch up on. “I mean, we know the guy probably got what he deserved, but we shouldn't let the culprit roam free, right?”

Red Son sighed. He threw something else at the dragon girl (seriously, why ), which she caught with ease to examine.

The object was a sparkly, pink sequined headband with so much glitter staining her hands. It was stiff but aside from the useless glitter, it was in peak condition.

Mei stared at it for a moment. Where had she seen this before?

“So―” MK spoke up. “The guy got eaten like a cheeseburger?”

“Yes MK. Yes he did.”

“Damn. I want a cheeseburger now.”

“Same.”

“Both of you need to kill yourself.”

After much persistence, Mei was allowed to take the headband home, on the condition she didn't lose it. Red Son should have more faith in her because she never lost anything. Ever.

She knew she'd seen the bow somewhere before. She just couldn't put a finger on it.

The slight ping of her phone going off made her sigh. She dropped the headband on her bed, before joining it with a groan of despair.

Being a hero was a lot of hard work. Thank goodness she had something to take her mind off of things….and that was an idol….you. 

(How sad.)

The notification was from your page, a reminder that you had just made another post on your Twitter. It was a picture of you, wearing your typical uniform for your shows in an adorable pose that made her smile.

What? It wasn't weird, okay? She was admiring how gorgeous you were! You were like an angel, so it really wasn't too much of a surprise that people flocked to you like sheep to slaughter.

Out of curiosity, she checked the comments, just to see what others had to say about your newest pic. Everything was flooded with compliments, all in adoration,  desperate for even the slightest bit of attention.

One caught her eye though.

‘ (Name), where's your headband? You always wear it! Did someone steal your beautiful headband my lady!?’

Surprisingly, of all the comments, you had chosen to reply to this one. 

‘oh, ty for noticing!! i didn't realize it was missing (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ how sweet of you.🥺🥺’

….wait what the fuck? 

Envious, the compliments in the comments became repeated words, everyone suddenly noticing the missing headband, hoping to receive the same attention as their idol. Mei wouldn't deny being the slightest bit envious, but at the same time, wasn't that a little creepy? Even she didn't pay too much attention to her idol, because everyone deserves their privacy, right?

Curiosity be damned, Mei needed to see what was so special about this guy that made you of people reply to his comment. His icon was just an edit of you, and―

Okay, yeah, this guy was a creep. Every post he ever made was about the idol.

….did you like these kinds of things? You always seemed so sweet and gentle though, so―

“Another one?” Mei stared at her computer screen boredly, clicking through random tabs she'd left on since gods knew when. One of the tabs was on your account, which she decided to leave on for the time. “That's weird, isn't it?”

Red's face scowled on the opposite screen. It was barely 8 in the morning and yet here he was, already prepared for the day. MK's screen was blank, probably because he was in the middle of work, but every so often you could hear him screaming from either fear or excitement. You could never tell with that guy.

“It is. There was another clue left behind.” Red Son held a napkin to the screen. Mei squinted, spying faint glitterdust that was left behind. “The victim was forced to…eat glitterdust.”

MK snickered on his end. “What a way to go.”

“Aren't you a hero?” Red snapped. “What's so funny about a guy dying?”

“Nothing. But glitterdust? Really? Maybe the killer likes pretty things.”

“You think glitterdust could make your insides prettier?” Mei added helpfully, making Red curse at both her and MK.

She rolled her eyes, completing her task of removing questionable tabs, before she returned to your account. You made another post today; a picture of herself with a new headband, and posing with your grumpy manager.

Just like yesterday, she went straight to the comments. Aside from rude comments about the manager, most of them were still the same boring, basic attention seeking comments. She scrolled, and stopped.

Where was the headband guy? You'd think he'd be here but he was gone.

Mei frowned. She returned to last night's post, and…

He was gone. His account had been deleted.

…

Ah, maybe it was just a coincidence. Couldn't be anything else, right?

Mei was following a guy home.

Okay, okay, weird out of context, but hear her out; she was just making sure the girl he was following was safe, okay? She just happened to go out today and happened to see this really cute, bunny eared girl getting picked on, so she happened to step in. She also happened to get her number and happened to decide to follow her home when she noticed the creepy guy following her.

Yes. Everything happened to end up like this for her. She promised she was a completely ordinary human being―er, dragon. 100%.

She'd only taken her eyes off the creep in front of her for a few seconds when she heard a scream.

Look. Mei hated creeps just as much as the next decent person. But, sadly, she was also a hero with morals. She dropped the idea of minding her own business and gave chase, worried he might've caught up with the strange girl, even if the scream was not a girl's.

“Stop right th―what the fuck??”

She froze in place at the figure, hunched over the creep’s body.

(Note to self: never, ever tell MK anymore skinwalker stories.)

Ah, curse her luck. It was too hard to see anything, so all she saw of the figure was their silhouette, and the man by their feet. They made no sudden moves when Mei unsheathed her sword, and so she stepped closer.

They stayed still, up until Mei was nearing the body, and then bolted . If Mei didn't have a sense of shame, she would've screamed from the sudden movement.

“Hey! Wait!! You―” Mei cursed under her breath. She stared where the thing―whatever it was―fled, before her attention returned to the guy wheezing at her feet. Aside from the look of shock on his expression, he seemed fine enough.

She sighed and sheathed her sword, grabbing the guy by the arm and helping him to his feet.

“Dude. You've got some issues,” she grumbled, throwing him over her shoulder.

Mei groaned in more despair. She barely got any sleep last night, fretting about the mysterious girl who may as well have been responsible for that attack on that creepy guy. Not that Mei was upset, but Christ on a cross, there surely had to be better ways of handling situations like these, right?

She'd drop the creep into Red Son's hands, because he had more patience than she did and left for home….

And called the number the girl left behind.

Argh. How stupid. As if the chick would answer. If she was the culprit, she wouldn't answer Mei of all people. Only someone dumb would―

“Hello? (Name) speaking!”

Oh. Nevermind, someone did.

“Erm―” Mei sat up on her bed, subconsciously fixing her hair. “H-hi! Hi, erm…this…this is Mei! Y-you know, the dragon girl you met today, at the shop? You left me your number, haha.”

Smooth Mei. Really smooth.

“ Um…I'm sorry. I think you might be mistaken.”

Wait, what? Did the girl not remember her, or did she give her the wrong number on purpose? Or―

Mei checked the slip of papers and mentally cursed herself. Of course she dialed the wrong fucking number. Now she sounded lame and desperate on the phone with a cute girl.

The voice on the other end sighed tiredly. “ Let me guess. Did you get stood up on a date ?”

Whoever they were sounded so sympathetic, and of course, Mei hurriedly answered, “Oh, no, that's not it at all!! We just met tonight and I thought it'd be fun to talk to her. Erm, I-I dialed the wrong number, haha.”

“ Oh. That explains it.” They laughed. “ My bad. It's nice to meet you though, Miss Mei. You sound like a lovely person .”

Mei subconsciously wondered if they knew what they were doing to her, sounding so cute and tired on the opposite end. She held her face, hoping the cold from her hands would snap her out of her daze, and blushed .

“Y-yeah, you too, Miss (Name).”

(She spent the entire night thinking about the sound of their laughter.)

‘where r u? im at pigsy's.’

‘im coming, pls wait for me ( T_T)＼(^-^ ) im a bit lostttt.’

An unlikely friendship was formed after that chance encounter. Mei found herself calling her new ‘friend’ every chance she had, listening to her voice over and over again. It felt too much like a dream, because their voice was so―

“Mei! I'm so sorry I'm late! Ah..a-are you Mei?”

The dragon girl raised her head, and stared. The familiar face, the pretty voice― Mei thought she'd been hallucinating, but no, she wasn't. 

Her new friend was in fact the pretty idol she was always fawning over. They were you .

And you were here . Talking to her . Looking just as pretty as your pictures with an embarrassed expression that looked so cute.

Mei choked on her own spit trying not to scare you away. She waved her hands wildly, nearly dropping her phone in the process of reassuring you she was 100% normal.

“Y-yeah! Yeah, haha, aha―” The dragon girl cleared her throat, subtly adjusting her jacket and patting her hair. Shit, was her lipstick too messy? Maybe she should've worn some eyeliner, fuck― “I'm she. Me. Um. Mei.”

Her face felt like it was on literal fire when you smiled, looking as though you were happy you hadn't met some creep, but a true friend.

“I know,” you said, and extended a hand. “It's nice to finally meet you, Miss Mei. If I'd known I was meeting a member of the Monkie Kid hero group, I would've dressed better.”

Mei wanted to melt. You knew about her. Dear god she wanted to faint on the spot.

“Yeah.” She accepted your hand. “Same here. I-if I'd known I'd be meeting such a pretty girl like you, I-I’d have dressed better.”

She cringed at her stupid attempt at sounding cool, and tried to brush it off, but you only smiled and held her hand in yours, making the heat in her face get so much worse.

“I'm glad,” you said, smiling brightly. “It's so nice to finally meet you, Mei.”

Being the friend of such an idol was a dream come true for Mei. You were always so kind and caring, and you definitely didn't seem to mind the fact that wherever you two went, there were stares and whispers. 

You didn't care what others would've thought. You were her friend, as she was yours.

There was a sudden decline in murders for some reason, yet on days when you were too busy to hang out, there were several bodies found. How strange.

“You should be careful out there,” Mei said to you one day, feeding herself cookies you two had bought to share. Her face was a mess, but she'd grown comfortable enough around you to not feel too self conscious about it. “It’s really dangerous, you know. Creeps and that cannibal killer on the loose.”

You hummed, tracing the rim of your tea cup.

“I know about creeps,” you said to her, taking a sip of tea. “I mean ..with my profession, it's normal, you know?”

You sighed as Mei nodded, frowning slightly. You had often confided to her about some of your fans, how disgustingly weird they tended to be at times, which was all the more reason for her to worry over you.

She closed the distance between you two, hesitating. Her hand came to rest against yours, and she offered a smile.

“I'll keep you safe,” she promised, making you smile in return.

Your hand intertwined with hers, making her blush a pretty pink.

“I know you will,” you answered sweetly, your fluffy ears twitching.

(The murders come and go. There's no distinct pattern.)

You knew she'd have to pick up on it eventually. Mei was a smart girl, but sometimes she had the habit of acting too much like a fool, even if the answer was right in front of her. Maybe because she liked you too much to believe it.

Your ears pick up on the sound of her footsteps heading towards you, and the slight glow of her blade pressed to your neck.

You smiled as she frowned, her eyes betraying her feelings of conflict.

“You're the murderer!” She exclaimed. “You―you've been―”

“It's not like I hurt innocent people,” you answered in mild protest and traced a bloody finger against the blade. It was a pretty color, but it reminded you of someone you met before. “Just the ones that mess with me.”

“Murder is still murder, (Name).”

“So?” You pouted. “They're the creeps, Mei. You saw that for yourself, so many moons ago!” She stilled, recalling the memory and you continued. “They follow me home and can't take no for an answer so…I just have a little fun. C'mon, you've noticed it yourself, haven't you? They're creepy fans who follow me everywhere. It's self defense.”

Mei looked conflicted. She lowered her sword, yet it never shifted from its position near your neck.

“The problem isn't that you're just killing them,” the dragon girl remarked. “But you're eating them as well, (Name). That's fucked up.”

You lick the blood stains on your lips.

“But Mei-Mei, I'm a demon!” You protested. “Can't you forgive me, just this once?”

Mei hesitated. You smirked as her guard was dropped enough for you to slip past her sword and embrace her, your head against her chest. She spluttered, but her racing heart definitely told a different story.

“Besides. Isn't Red Son a demon too? He's eaten humans before, innocent ones even! And yet you're his friend!”

You can tell you have her right where you want her. Mei spluttered, trying to come up with a decent argument.

“But he's stopped!”

You smiled. 

“But so can I~! You'll give me another chance, won't you Mei-Mei? You love me, right? And you said it yourself; you'd protect me! So, you'll help me, won't you?”

You waited, and smiled as she caved in and nodded, embracing you with as much strength as she could muster.

Well. You supposed you could think about it now, right?

Chapter Text

Oh lord I've put of these requests so long 😞 my bad bros, my bad. Seeing the trailer has my blood pumping again soooo 🧍 time to simp over my husband once again on god.

𐙚 Personally, I think Wukong wouldn't mind a clingy partner as long as they're not overbearing. I think he's clingy himself, so a clingy partner that really does love him but also understands him without being insufferable is like a win for him, you know? In the beginning, he'd probably be a bit closed off with you, but once he warms up to you I think he begins to adore you just as much.

𐙚 It'd probably be a fight over who can be the most affectionate if his partner is a touchy person. Hugs and kisses at any random moment, or if allowed Wukong jumping on your back and making you both fall over with surprise, yet always making sure you're okay before he smothers you in a tight (albeit lovingly) hug.

𐙚 I think he wouldn't mind that you cling to him if given the chance. This man is SO touch starved; look at him. If you so much as hold his hand he probably wouldn't even wash it for days. (Not really, he likes being clean but y'know. He'll always find himself near you hoping to get touched again.)

𐙚 He'd probably like to lay on your lap me thinks. You're clingy and always hugging him if given a chance, and lying on your lap would be a better experience for the both of you, wouldn't it? You get to run your hands through his fur and he gets to look up at you from below.

𐙚 When he's especially down, he'd definitely appreciate your clinginess more than ever. Maybe he's thinking about his journey or fretting over MK, but if you're there to comfort him and hold him close, maybe he could stop worrying. Maybe.

𐙚 If you're the type to give kisses as a sign of affection too, he'd probably do the same and give you a wet kiss on your cheek or something. If you do give him a kiss though regardless, he looks like a looney tunes character, completely lovestruck.

𐙚 It honestly wouldn't be a surprise for anyone if you're just sitting on his back or shoulders being lugged around like an extra limb or something. No one asks because the last time Macaque did you mauled him and Wukong cheered you on. Fun.

Chapter Text

SFW:

𐙚 Honestly Mei would be that one weird girlfriend you HAVE to keep your eye on or else she'll explode the minute you look away. If you have a pet or a little sibling, surprise; they look tame in comparison to your wild and hyperactive and short tempered girlfriend.

𐙚 Though to be fair, she'd also be so ridiculously sweet. She's a touchy kind of person and so always has to put her hands on you regardless of the situation. I imagine she would also smother you with love any chance she had and would deadass tear out her heart if you dare ask her too. (For the love of god don't ask her too she will in fact do it.)

𐙚 She'd trust you with a lot of secrets me thinks. Especially one where she thought she had a crush on MK but turned out she couldn't differentiate platonic from romance until you came along. Girl would tell you about the times she also nearly died because she loves you that much.

𐙚 Mei would also, possibly try to keep secrets at first. Certain things like her relationship with her parents, the Samadhi fire. Times where she feels as if she's at fault, she won't say a word of it. However, if she trusts you enough, she'll open herself a bit with those problems, and together you two could figure out a solution to her.

𐙚 After the Samadhi fire incident, I like to think Mei would have a few scars on her body. There's no way anyone could tell me it wouldn't have taken a toll on her, and she'd feel pretty ashamed to admit she lost her cool that badly. Thankfully she (hopefully) got a wonderful, understanding girlfriend that will love her regardless. Give her scars kisses and tell her she's beautiful and amazing no matter what please 😞

𐙚 I think Mei would be a little tense around fires to be honest. Like yeah, she's friends with a fire demon and all, but a small part of her is just worried something might happen again. And now that she has you in her life, she's even more scared :(( she'd definitely avoid large flames like bonfires or something with you, at least till you assure her things are okay.

𐙚 She's incredibly attached. And I mean, incredibly attached. It takes a bit for her to trust people, but once she does she's stuck to them like glue, and you wouldn't be any different. She's always by your side when you least expect it.

𐙚 If Mei could, she'd buy you the world. So what if others think you'd use her for her wealth? She's your sugar mommy now, fuck what anyone else. (Sadly, you're always refusing her expensive gifts 😭 so she has to settle for trying to give you her heart)

𐙚 With how her relationship with her parents is in the first season, I think she would be hesitant to introduce you at first. Don't get her wrong, she loves you, but her parents are…complicated. I think she'd be scared knowing how traditional they are, they might refuse to allow her to stay with you and make her choose. Mei loves her family, but if they're cruel enough to make her choose, she's definitely going to choose you. Though, depending on her, folks may as well learn to tolerate your presence seeing how lovestruck Mei is for you.

𐙚 Knowing Mei, she would try to marry you in the beginning of the relationship. You have to gently pat her down and tell her to wait, but she already knows you're her soulmate, so why bother? But, for your comfort, she waits till a year has passed and then she'll host a small wedding with her friends and have Tang officiate the wedding so you could tell anyone else, “Sorry, I'm married.” (Also, she may have done it just in case her parents tried to reject you. Ya know. Just in case.)

𐙚 If given the chance, Mei will 100% wife you up on the first meeting. She's already a gay disaster and the prettiest girl ever enters her life looking like a gift from Heaven?? You bet MK and Red Son have to physically restrain her from giving you a goddamn wedding ring. She's gay. Gay little dragon.

𐙚 You're not free from her deez nuts jokes by the way. She also plays DND with you I like to think :3

NSFW:

𐙚 G-girls? Naked?! Naked girls!? BOOBIES!?! AUAUSBSJSOSJSJXJZHA AAAAAAAH―

𐙚 No okay, jokes aside, I imagine Mei might have a little experience. Might, because she feels like the type to have, sadly, been exposed to the internet from a young age and got scarred pretty easily, and also because she would be the type to experiment a bit. So I think she has some experiences in order to make her wifey (Mei is holding me at gunpoint as we speak) feel amazing.

𐙚 Mei is a giver. In bed or in general, she does shit to please you, so duh; she's giving you the best time of your life. She's good with her tongue too (help me I'm being threatened to say this)

𐙚 She's got dragon genes, and I'm saying this right now; she's always going to be bigger than you regardless of your height. She will dwarf you and maybe the great Mei has a size kink and maybe the great Mei likes seeing her pretty girlfriend under her begging for more :(

𐙚 Mei is a tease. Up front and honest, she will egg you on in a semi-public area or behind closed doors by ‘accidentally' squeezing your ass or tits, or maybe ‘accidentally' slipping her hands into her your underwear and teasing your sex by telling you all sorts of nasty things only to pull away and leave like she didn't just rile you up. She is a menace.

𐙚 I'm on my sugar mommy Mei agenda and I know damn well she's gonna buy you lingerie and shit from the most expensive stores only to tear it off you in the bedroom because, “I can always buy you more babe 🙄💅”

𐙚 She teases but I think she also gives just too much. This girl would have you on your hands and knees and fingering you through orgasm after orgasm until you're passed out and only then is she gonna realize, “Oh shit, I forgot about me too.” 

𐙚 Mei likes it when you're on top of her because I think she can get to see your pretty face even better, especially when she fucks you senseless with her strap wink wink.

𐙚 She's definitely the risky type. I don't think you'll be able to sit straight by the time Mei is done with you regardless of the situation. And if she can't fuck you, she'll probably just leave hickeys all over your neck and collar to prove a point to anyone who likes you. (Apparently, the wedding ring isn't enough.)

𐙚 Girlfriend = boobs. When she's fucking you she likes a position where she can just latch onto your tits and leave bite marks behind. She'll have your knees to her shoulders and bite on your boobies while you're fucked dumb under her 🧍

𐙚 I don't know what else to say other than she's horny and she's currently threatening me help me― dies.

Chapter Text

MK:

𐙚 This man is the sweetest and dumbest creature alive, because the first time he meets you, you were probably injured and he really doesn't stop to think that huh, maybe your fancy appearance means you're probably a deity he shouldn't approach so casually??? Nah, bud just wants to help you like a sweetie.

𐙚 Honestly I don't think he'll ever realize you are a goddess until you tell him to his face. He thinks you having powers or looking ethereal every day means you're just an amazing, pretty person and he just wants to be your friend, and if that's not enough to warm your heart then I don't know what is.

𐙚 He's honestly so surprise you tell him you're a goddess because?? Huh?? Fym you're a god?? You mean you don't look amazing naturally every day?? That's because of some heavenly radiance?? He calls BULLSHIT ‼️

𐙚 I don't think your relationship with MK would change to be honest. He's the kind of guy who likes you based on first impressions. If you're someone who's kind and sweet, and honestly not the kind of god who puts herself on a pedestal, his opinion of you simply doesn't change. You're his friend, he cares for you, and he's going to risk his life for you regardless if you can get hurt or not.

𐙚 Though, I also think his friends would tell him to try to be more respectful, and in a way, he'd try. Maybe being silly by greeting you as, “My lady,” instead of by your name or trying to know when he spots you only to fail and look ridiculous hitting his head now and again. He tries, or maybe he's so clumsy because of something else.

𐙚 Between the two of you, MK gets feelings first. Of course he does; the Monkie Kid can't help falling in love with someone so sweet and kind. You're a goddess and yet you probably don't even treat him like he's worth less than you, which is saying a lot compared to other gods he's met (heavy coughs, Li Jing)

𐙚 You'd have to be the one who has to come out and confess as well, otherwise MK is not saying anything. You're a goddess and you're important, and him? He's the hero of the city and literally nothing else. You wouldn't like someone like him over someone like Nezha, right? If you don't spot his feelings and admit you like him, he's dying with his feelings to the grave. 

𐙚 If you do confess, well. MK's going to faint. Yeah, surprise; the Monkie Kid has no idea how to react getting confessed to by the love of his life. He's fainting on your ass 😞✌️

𐙚 Okay, seriously; I think he'll adore you even more. If you have a thousand followers, he's one of them, and if you have one follower, he's that one follower. Bro is loyal to a fault, honestly. Please treat him well.

Red Son:

𐙚 The first time he meets you is probably when he's an evil little munchkin and the first thing he tries to do is attack you and burn you to a crisp. You survive and beat the shit out of him and that meeting stays with Red Son even years later. And..oh. Would you look at that? You're the goddess he so happens to meet one day after so many years.

𐙚 Older Red Son wouldn't try to kill you. He's an asshole but he definitely wouldn't throw himself at you after getting a butt whooping by a much younger you who had barely been his height back then. He's not taking the chance yet.

𐙚 In the beginning he'd probably be super insufferable though. Grumbling or complaining every chance he got, and every problem he'd sarcastically ask you to help since you're so holy and amazing. Safe to say, if you don't have a short temper, it's a wonder if he's still alive. If you do, in fact, have a short temper, how the hell did he survive you throwing him into the sea??

𐙚 Red Son is a super standoffish person in my opinion so I think he'll take a long time getting used too. He's a dick in the beginning, but the longer he's around you, the more he softens just a bit. Just a bit, but not enough to stop his bitching. He'd probably challenge you to a duel to prove if you're really a goddess and then get his ass kicked again

𐙚 I honestly think he's also the first to catch feelings too, or maybe he catches feelings the same timing as you. He'd spend his time avoiding you because duh, you're a celestial, and he's a (half) demon. If his parents' relationship didn't work out properly, he wouldn't be any different right?? What if he also cheated on you like his dad had done to his mom?? He couldn't do that, that was too much pressure!!

𐙚 Though, I also think Red Son would be a bit confused about his feelings too. He probably wouldn't know how the fuck he's supposed to react, so what better way than to go to the damn green and yellow duo that gets on his nerve all the time?

𐙚 Red Son's a stubborn ass, but y'know, he means well. He just really sucks at understanding Mei and MK's modern ideas of flirting so when he tries to ‘serenade’ he sets fire to your clothing and buries himself in his room sobbing pathetically over his failure. Please convince him he did fine or else he'll stay in his room and rot.

𐙚 He refuses to let you be the first to confess though, being so competitive and all, so of course…well. He goes to his mom for help, and his mom confesses for him. Kinda embarrassing, I know, but Iron Fan would rather drink a bottle of stale wine than to listen to her son bitch and moan.

𐙚 Red Son is, I think, the most loyal partner alive. If you accept his feelings, he'll probably keep his eyes focused on you. For Christs sake you're a goddess, the fuck would he care for anyone else at this point when he falls in love with the most amazing deity ever??

𐙚 Sadly, he's no MK. He probably won't be anywhere near your temples 😞 but it's okay, he'll worship you in bed― is gunned down.

Mei:

𐙚 One thought: a girl that's bigger than her?? Sign!! Her!! Up!!

𐙚 Mei is legit that one TikTok audio; “Are you a) something, b) something or c) a goddess!?” on your first meeting, and she's definitely right you're a goddess. Probably not a major one but regardless, still a goddess, and in Mei's opinion that's amazing. Like. Hello?? A REAL god that isn't an ASSHOLE like a certain Lotus Prince?!? You're a true blessing in disguise.

𐙚 Though honestly, like MK, you're just a potential friend for her at first. Although she's more blunt and thinks you're drop dead gorgeous, she also treats you just like any other person instead of fawning over you like any other person would. She treats you like you're human, and if you're a deity that likes that sort of treatment, it's welcoming.

𐙚 If you've never experienced modern life in the mortal realm, Mei is definitely treating you to a tour. It doesn't matter that you really should be tending to your temples and other godly business; in Mei's opinion, you deserve a break, and what better way to relax than to explore every shop and stall in Megapolis until you physically cannot move?

𐙚 She would try so hard to impress you, especially with her bike riding skills. She'd even ask you to sit with her and tries to ride without her helmet to look ‘cool’ and nearly crashes into MK on his way home from work.

𐙚 Mei takes you everywhere with her if she's free. Weather station, fucking Pigsy's, MK's bathroom (don't ask). She refuses to leave you alone and unless you ask, she's stuck to you like a rat in a mousetrap.

𐙚 I think of the trio she's probably a bit more understanding? At least with the pressure and responsibilities you have to bear, she can easily read if you're overwhelmed or stressed and tries to comfort you to the best of her ability. Even the smallest smile from you makes her feel slightly better.

𐙚 You would catch feelings first, but then again we could argue Mei caught feelings at the beginning? Regardless, her sweet nature is too hard to resist, so if you don't love her; get mental help. 

𐙚 Mei's not as clueless as her best friend though. I think she'll catch on to your feelings depending on how you act, and she's honored a literal GODDESS is in love with her, but also slightly worried it could cause problems for you in the long run. She has to go to Wukong of all people for advice before she acts on her feelings :(

𐙚 Most likely, I think, it just sorta happens you two begin acting like a couple. Even your fellow gods aren't necessarily surprised when they happen to come across you and Mei on a date-not-really date. You're too obvious gushing about the dragon girl whenever you're in the celestial realm.

𐙚 Mei says ‘I love you’ first, but it's so casual it's almost as if she's said it to you before?? And you have to sit down to explain to her that this means you both would be dating officially, and Mei's confused because?? You mean to say you two WEREN'T DATING BEFORE?!?

𐙚 At least in this AU her family don't seem to mind. You're a goddess, and at least not related to a certain dragon killing prince, right? Right!?

Chapter Text

SFW:

ೃ First thing to note; this boy is a hero who's constantly stressed. He would do his absolute best to spend as much time with you as possible, even if he's exhausted beyond belief. Pre-relationship of you and MK is him calling you at 4 in the morning asking you if he can come over after a night of saving the city.

ೃ Like I said, the dude is exhausted, but he tries his best to be a good boyfriend. He always has eye bags from lack of sleep either from stress from work or some other reason. If he thinks he needs an excuse to cover it up, he'll come to you immediately.

ೃ MK's biggest red flag is the fact he will not talk about his problems. As a good partner, you always have to prod him to talk, otherwise his lips are sealed shut. He means well, trying to not be a burden, but if you don't convince the guy he'd snap from his own stress!

ೃ I feel like he's a little insecure, somehow. The clones are proof of that―at least, maybe the Art clone. During your dating phase, he would always ask for your location, fretting that an enemy would hurt you. He would probably be jealous when someone else speaks to you, especially if they're someone as attractive as Red Son and Mei, you know? You have to convince him you're not leaving him for someone who's supposedly more attractive and more confident, because he is enough.

ೃ While we're on that topic, please give him some praise. Even if it's the smallest things, I feel like he'd feel somewhat better if his partner praises him, even a little.

ೃ I think, when it comes to stuff like romance, MK loves really deeply. We saw that already with Monkey King, and that's just platonically. He's always the first to fall in love, and he loves so hard he'd put Orpheus to shame. He would look back for you, forever and always, that's how much he loves you.

ೃ Depending on your personality, Wukong and Pigsy would either hate you, or love you. With Pigsy, I think he wouldn't like you in the beginning solely because he's afraid you'll break his boy's heart. If you prove you do, in fact, love MK enough to stay with him through thick and thin, he'll warm up to you enough to address you like a person. For Wukong, he'd probably be worried since he thinks you're just waiting for a chance to trick his student. It'll take you a while for him to stop glaring at you, but even then he won't trust you. Sorry dude.

ೃ The first person MK might confide too about his monkey form would probably be you. He trusts his friend, don't get me wrong, but I feel like in that situation where he's so overwhelmed, he'd probably seek you out first. Your warm hugs are the only thing that'll comfort him at this point, especially with his mentor gone.

ೃ He probably would like it if you ran your hands through his hair. I bet his hair is super soft thanks to special help from Mei, and your hands would feel so nice running your fingers through his hair while he relaxes on your lap.

ೃ MK would definitely try to get Monkey King to like you. After all, you're his partner, and might one day even be your husband!! You gotta get to know your in-laws too!

 NSFW: you know you are for giving me these ideas 🙂✌️ say hi for the camera 📸

ೃ He's probably scared of intimacy. Either from what happened s3/4 or his own lack of confidence, he would be too shy to make the first move. I think he would be surprised when you do, in fact, make the first move, but I think to him it's worth it when you're kissing him so sweetly.

ೃ MK has a praise kink. Be it nonsexual or sexual, please praise this guy. Praising him while doing the deed especially makes him such a whiny, little mess rahh

ೃ He also may or may not have a thigh kink depending. I think it doesn't really matter how you're built, your thighs are his favorite part of you and he loves resting his head on them and biting them till they're sore :3

ೃ To me he's probably a switch, and on days when he's really too tired to do much, he would much prefer for you to be on top. Maybe there's a small part of him that wants to be assured and taken care of, and he's lucky enough to have a partner that's more than willing to take care of him, and grant him the opportunity to let his guard down and just relax for once in his life.

ೃ He also may as well keep his mouth quiet during sexy times :/ his self confidence is so low you have to coax him to be as loud as he wants either in you or under you ☹️

ೃ In moments where he's like upset or you sense he's not properly taking care of himself, all you need to do is edge the poor guy till he promises he'll take better of himself. Your hands are cruel teasing him and never granting him that sweet release, but your words are so different in contrast, whispering soft praises and promises of rewards should he be a good boy and follow along.

ೃ I'm not gonna lie I think his favorite position would either be you riding him or missionary 👍 anything that gives you both a fun time and him a chance to see your expression no matter what.

ೃ I think he'd kiss a lot, especially when he's needy. I'm not sure why but I feel he's really the affectionate and touchy type, and if he can kiss you anywhere at any time, it's fine with him. Especially during sex like just cup his face and smooch him till he's drooling and he'll be happy for days.

ೃ Post s4, I think he'll also like biting you if it's allowed. Especially your thighs, he just wants to sink his teeth in your skin and leave hickeys all over you. I think he'll adore it if you do the same too, just a small reminder that you're his and he's yours.

ೃ Aftercare is him snuggling up to you and maybe crying, a little. He's even more clingy after sex and would much prefer holding you close and you reminding him how much you love him, please 🥺

ೃ It don't matter your gender he wants to breed you even if his ass is too broke for children stop him at once.

Chapter Text

The first time MK meets you, he thinks he's met an angel. You were so stunning and sweet and when you smiled at him his heart almost burst with the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

Pigsy tells him he's in love.

Pft! As if! MK doesn't do love at first sight. It's weird!

But dear god, when he sees you every time you're in the noodle shop, you look so divine. So what if your hair is a mess and you always look exhausted? You're beautiful , gorgeous. You take his breath away each and every time.

He swears it's not on purpose. His feelings…they just happened. He really didn't mean to fall for you so hard and so fast. You were just some stranger he had stopped by to deliver the final noodles of the day, and then…well. It just happened.

You were tired, maybe, on that chanced meeting, still in pajamas and your hair messy, and your eyes heavy with sleep. You grumbled but still managed to be polite when bidding him goodbye and apologizing about your appearance. When you flashed him that smile, simple but genuine, that's when an arrow had pierced MK's poor heart.

Cupid struck him down so hard. He found himself asking for you to stop by, perhaps bring a friend. That he'll guarantee Pigsy has a special discount just for you.

So what if Pigsy doesn't do discounts and it actually comes out of his pockets? It's fine, and it's worth it when you show up the very next day more formal looking but still with the same smile adorning your expression. It makes his heart beat faster and his ears ring and sure, he spills a bowl of lukewarm (thankfully) water on himself, completely soaking the kitchen. Pigsy gains a migraine as he kicks him out of his kitchen, but it's fine, because you're there worrying over him .

You were worried over him. Him!!

You were. Gods where could he even start?

MK always had a bad memory when it comes to remembering certain important details, but he just couldn't forget your face. He takes the opportunity to pass your home on his way to deliver noodles, hoping to see you and wave hello. He pesters Pigsy and begs him to see if there would be any orders from your address.

Anything if it meant he could see you more often.

But it's not like he's lovestruck or anything when you take notice and start chatting with him. It's not like he's head over heels when you invite him out on his free days and sometimes stop by the noodle shop to see him. He's not lovestruck when you take his hand into his and smile so sweetly.

Who, MK? Lovestruck ? Pft, as if!

(He will lay down his life for you if asked.)

Chapter Text

Nezha thinks you're a little odd. Well, not odd as in Monkey King level odd, but odd enough that he's left confused a lot whenever you're together. You're a sweet thing, he won't deny that, and he still loves you regardless, but well….

Your hobbies are certainly… questionable.

Well. Not so much your hobbies as your job. He thinks you're a―what do you call it again? Those people that study things related to the sea. He thinks they're called marine…scientists? Unless it's a biologist? He really has no idea, mortals are still beings far beyond his comprehension.

But you're pretty and sweet enough that he doesn't dare to ask. He'll join you if he can, or if you ask, even if he'd much prefer to stray from Dragon territory. Because. You know. That incident that happened when he was a child. 

“Nezha, Nezha, look at this!” You gush, holding what appears to be a weird caterpillar creature in your hands. You're kneeling in the water, and you're soaked from head to toe from all your flailing around, but at least you look happy. It's possibly the only reason your boyfriend tagged along to begin with, just to see your beautiful smile.

Nezha wades into the water, thankful he'd listen to Chang'e about wearing much shorter and loose clothing. He wasn't so sure he'd be able to survive getting wet entirely.

“It's. A caterpillar?” He deadpans, eying the creature in your hands. It wiggles, and the little weird antenna on its head reminds him of a bunny.

“It's a sea bunny ,” you explain. “Otherwise known as Jorunna parva , and they belong to a taxonomic order called nudibranchs which comprises 3,000 species! Oh, and nudibranchs―they're like, shell-less marine mollusks who shed their shells in the larval stage. They're also found in shallow waters of oceans all around the world! And, and , they have a regular feeding organ that they use to feed on other invertebrates! And―”

“Why call it a sea bunny then if it's a…parva?” He questions, watching the fuzzy white creature continue to squirm. You kneel in the water once again, dipping your hands below the surface. Gently, you set the sea bunny back into the sand before another happens to come closer, wiggling onto your hand again.

You hum. “Because of the ears, silly; but those aren't really ears. They're called rhinophores―organs that help the sea slug sense chemicals dissolved in the water and to detect changes in currents! In the sea bunnies group of nudibranchs, they're fuzzy to allow more surface area!”

You hold up your hand for Nezha to take a closer look, and you're right―they do in fact look a lot like baby bunnies.

“Aren't they cute?” You gush, setting this one back down once more. The water laps at your feet as you stand once again, a pleased look on your flushed expression. “I love my job.”

Nezha stares at you for a moment, a small smile on his lips. You look so happy just by sharing information he would probably forget the moment he returns home, but honestly? It's just worth it knowing he can at least see you smile like this.

“Wait. Why don't you take one as a pet?”

“They have short lifespans. Plus it's not advised.”

“Oh. That's sad.”

“Mhm.”

“Why don't you make a toy of it then?”

“I'll try.”

“...”

“Nezha what do you have in your hands?”

“....”

“Nezha…”

“....”

“NEZHA PUT IT BACK!”

“But it's cute!”

“NEZHA!!!!!”

Chapter Text

Dating the Great Sage can be super fun….for varying reasons. One of which involves arguments that you may think you're losing, but when your boyfriend goes low, you can go lower .

“Are you willing to admit you're wrong?” Wukong deadpans, chewing on a slice of cake you baked with your  bare hands. “Like, I'm your boyfriend. You know? So, everything that's mine is yours and vice versa.”

You give him a blank look. As if he really meant that―the other day you jokingly commented about eating his noodles Pigsy gave him and he burst into tears about dying from hunger, promptly forgetting that he was, you know, immortal ! That moron.

“I don't think you're in any position to talk,” you grumble back and throw a wet rag at his face. It misses. “Didn't you kill your ‘best friend' once?”

“Pft, bygones are bygones.”

“Wukong, you stabbed his eye out.”

“Yeah well. It's not that bad.”

“You also ate a guy and stole his clothes.”

“....he kinda asked for it.”

“You also beat up a bunch of gods, stole their peaches and wine, tried to take over Heaven, insulted the Buddha, bullied the Ten Kings of Hell―” He deadpans as you continue. “―bullied the local gods, stole the fetus fruits from that guy's tree whose name I forgot, desecrated Erlang Shen's family graves and temples, stole more stuff, murdered a bunch of thieves, attempted to fight a five year old boy―”

“Hey, that Red Boy started it!”

“―hit women.”

“First of all!! First of all!! Iron Fan was rude!! That Lady Bitch Demon tried to eat my master!! And Spider Queen is a thot!”

“...do you know what that means?”

“Yeah, Mei taught me it. Also, like. That Scorpion Lady tried to fuck my master. And the others tried to eat him! They were lady demons, okay!? Lady demons!!”

“―you also peed and made people drink it.”

“So did Zhu Baijie! And might I add Sha Wujing too!! And, and, Ao Lie peed in a medicine once! So ha!”

“Yeah, medicine. Not as a nasty trick, Wukong.”

“W-well―”

“You also beat up more kids. And you stole the map of Samadhi Fire from Nezha, again. And you're also wanted for multiple reports of indecency while drunk.”

“...”

“And for driving without a license.”

“Babe…”

“And for driving while drinking. And ignoring court orders from your lawyer.”

Wukong sighs.

“And―”

“Oh my god I'm sorry I'm sorry please STOP―!!”

Chapter Text

“ There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.”

You vaguely recall when those words had been spoken. It was just after the Bull King had taken over the city, when Mei showed up at your front door exhausted and a wreck. She hadn't even allowed you to speak before she'd thrown herself at you, hugging you in an embrace as if fearing you might leave.

To this day, she'd never tell you what prompted her to say that. Never an explanation on why she said it, why she had held onto you that night promising over and over again she'd never leave you, that she'd love you forever and always.

But she reminded you of it. Over and over, countless times, she always reminded, through words and actions, what she would do for you if you only asked.

And you only wished you could have responded with, “ Don’t get hurt, don't die. Trust me too. Don't leave me either. ”

If only you could've said something. Anything …

Maybe if you had, you could've prevented this. If you'd only acted instead of standing there, frozen as red flames consumed your girlfriend and her cries filled the air, and you just watched.

You couldn't move, even when the flames licked at your hand leaving you with a third degree burn. You couldn't move even while watching your girlfriend in pain.

God, you were so awful , weren't you? You were such a horrible person. All you've ever done is stand around and be so useless , how selfish .

Even when the group tried to comfort you with white lies, that you couldn't have done much anyway when Mei left, that the most important thing was that you were alive, and you needed to be strong for her―you felt so pathetic.  

You didn't like Macaque, but you had to thank him for dropping you off here, wherever ‘here’ was. Because ‘here’ was where your girlfriend would be, and ‘here’ is where you hoped you could find her while MK went with Nezha to find Wukong.

Quite frankly, you were surprised. You didn't have a difficult time as you thought you would, not when the random blasts of red fire constantly made the forest shake every five seconds. All you had to do was follow the noise and the intense heat.

“(Name)?” Mei looked just as surprised as you were when you found her lying on a platform. You were relieved to see that she was fine, not a hint of injury to be seen. Though, where the hell did she find the time to change her clothes? 

She was uncharacteristically silent, which made you frown. Did…did she not want to see you, maybe? Because you were so useless while she was in pain?

No. She was silent because she was focused on something else. Specifically, your arm wrapped heavily in bandages, and still throbbing despite Sandy's attempts to make you feel better.

You hid your arm behind your back, and she frowned.

“Why are you here?” She demanded, slowly standing to her feet. “You're hurt ―! Gah, I knew it. MK left you to run after that Monkey King, didn't he!? When I get my hands on him I swear―!” She cursed, approaching you step by step till she could tower over you and grab your shoulders.

“I'm here to help,” you deadpanned as she looked you over, grabbing your face to check for any other injuries. “So, ow ―! Do you have a fever or something?”

“...” She sighed, pulling away. “I think you should go home, (Name). I just…I don't think it's safe for you to be here.”

“Why not?” You glanced to the side when you heard muttering. A familiar redhead caught your gaze. He gave you a mocking salute before disappearing, still grumbling to himself while holding what looked to be a swollen cheek. “ Red Boy is here. And you two seem to be getting along just fine.”

“(Name), don't be stupid.”

“Oh, I'm stupid for worrying over my girlfriend!?”

“Yeah, no shit you are!” She groaned and collapsed on her butt on the pavilion, tearing off the remains of a cape you hadn't even noticed in your worry. The dragon girl buried her face in her hands, and sighed. “(Name), look at your arm. I did that to you. Me . I'm the one who's supposed to be protecting you, and yet…”

She hid her face.

“I hurt you. I hurt you. What kind of person even does that!?”

Ah, you connected the dots now. No wonder she and MK got along, they really did have one hell of a hero complex, didn't they? You were half tempted to stay mad, but seeing how remorseful she was, and the way she flinched when you tried to reach out….

You sighed, choosing to sit next to her.

“Mei. Look at me.”

“No.”

You huffed. “You can't be serious. You called me stupid, you know. If anyone should be mad here, it should be me.”

“No.”

“Mei!”

You poked at her, and she relented, turning to face you with a pout on her expression. Did that distract you from the tears in the corners of her eyes?

Ha. No.

“You didn't hurt me,” you said, grabbing her arm that was so uncharacteristically warm. “Not on purpose, anyway. It's not your fault any of this happened.”

She tried to look away, and you sighed.

“Mei. This isn't your fault.” You squeezed her hand. “I mean it. It's not your fault. You didn't know you had a deadly fire in you, right?”

“Yeah. But―” She groaned. “That didn't stop me from hurting you! MK…you know. I was so scared I would've killed MK too, and Pigsy, a-and the others but…”

You waited, and the dragon girl bit her lip.

“But I was so scared I would've hurt you too. I-I didn't…I mean. You know. You're human. And…and what if…what if Monkey King hadn't been there in time? And…and you were only there because of me anyway. Like. I could've left you home! O-or with Chang’e, she likes you! Anywhere where you'd be safe! And I―”

Before the dragon girl could continue on another ramble and explore, literally if the flames sparking on her hair wasn't obvious, you grabbed her face, promptly silencing her long enough for you to think.

You pinched her cheek, and Mei gasped.

“Ow!”

“I'm sorry! But you sound stupid.” You released her face and ran your hands through your hair. “Mei, look. This isn't your fault. And no, I don't care that you brought me along, I chose to come. I chose to follow you because I love you .”

You held up your bandaged arm. “I mean, yeah, being hurt sucks, but I'd rather you burnt me to a crisp than I sit around not knowing if you're alive or dead.”

“Well―”

“Remember what you told me a while ago?”

She blinked. “I've told you a lot of things…”

“I meant the. Fucking.” You covered your face and sighed. “You said to me, once, that there wasn't anything you wouldn't do for me, right?” You glanced at her to see the dragon girl staring right back at you. “And you meant it, didn't you?”

Mei rolled her eyes. “No, duh . Of course I did. I'd do anything for you―”

“And I'll do the same.” You turned to face your girlfriend fully, taking her face in your hands. She blinked and you offered a smile. “I'm human, yeah, but I'll still try, you know? Because I love you, and I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want to see you hurt, Mei, or crying. I want to follow you wherever you go. Hell, I'll even let the world burn for you if you want me too.”

Mei stayed silent. You wondered if those words may be too harsh for a hero, but within the next few seconds of silence, you get pulled into a hug, and your girlfriend's body shakes.

You blinked. “Mei?”

“ Pft ―” You hear a snort, followed by your body falling over from your dragon girlfriend's weight. “You're so stupid. If anyone's burning the world down, shouldn't it be me, huh?”

Oh. She was laughing .

Her lips pressed against your forehead, before she pulled away to look down at you, her expression gentle.

“I'm sorry,” she admitted. “It feels selfish wanting to keep you with me despite all the risks but…I mean if you're fine with it…” She shrugged. “Then I can just protect you, right? Because I love you. And I―”

“―should get back to training now?”

Mei barely hid her expression when she was interrupted, tilting her head forward to glare at a not-so pleased Red Son who looked disgusted at the position you were both in.

“You're no fun, Red Boy.”

“Well, excuse me for not wanting to see dragon girl and dragon girl's girlfriend fucking on my lawn.”

“This is a lawn?”

“Shut up.”

Chapter Text

Brief giggling echoed from the door leading to your room. Despite your repeated efforts of keeping your girlfriend silent, she still continued to giggle and push you against the bed, her lips pressing against yours. A moan escaped you as she nibbled on your bottom lip and made herself comfortable between your bare legs.

“ Mei ―” You scold when you feel her smile against your lips and her forked tongue playfully licking your swollen bottom lip. “ Quiet ―”

“I am, I am!” She insisted, but her tone was a bit too loud for her attempt. You tried to stay displeased, but her hands were already trailing down your thighs, and she was leaving kisses on your neck, clavicle―

Her warm breath fanned against your cunt, and you stiffen slightly. She giggled once again and swiped her tongue against your clit, holding your legs apart. The scales on her cheekbones scratch against your inner thigh, but the feeling became pleasant when your girlfriend buried her face between your legs and left you biting your tongue in an attempt to keep yourself silent. 

Your hands found themselves on her head, tugging on her hair that had long since fallen out of their twin buns. Mei's hands dug into your thighs, holding them apart while her tongue dragged against your pussy, thrusting in and out of your hole.

“ Ha ― Mei ―!”

You always counted on Mei's special hearing to listen for anything strange, but unfortunately for you both, she was way too distracted at the prospect of eating her girlfriend out to really hear the sound of a door knocking― or the frustrated cursed and the turned doorknob till it was a little too late.

“What the fuck ―!?”

“Red!?”

Yeah…..maybe next time you oughta lock your door, because you just scarred your brother who looked like he was about to throw up at any second. 

Mei raised her head from between your legs while you scrambled for your blankets. She raised her hand in greeting, “Yo! Whaddup Red Boy?”

Red Son's eye twitched when he stared a the dragon girl, and he immediately groaned.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” He yelled, tugging at his hair. “My sister!? Are you fucking serious, dragon girl!? What the fuck!?”

“She's hot!” Mei licked her lips shamelessly and you groaned. “And c'mon, we're dating! Of course we're gonna fuck.”

“You're what!?” Red looked horrified. “What!? Huh!? Are you fucking insane!?”

“Red!”

“What!?”

You threw a pillow at your brother's head. “Get the fuck out!”

“I'm going, I'm going!” The pillow was thrown right back to your face before the door was slammed shut. “But this isn't over, Missy! Ew!”

“Oh, piss off! You fuck the noodle boy don't you!?”

“That's none of your business, freak!”

“Fuck you!”

“Erm.” Mei interrupted your sibling moment. “Can we continue?”

You give her a look.

“So…no?”

“Yeah. No.”

“Fuck.”

Chapter Text

𐙚 I think in a scenario where Nezha's in a relationship, he's the first one to fall in love. Like, I just imagine Reader showing him the bare minimum of kindness and he's literally in awe. His poor heart is racing ‘nd everything because this little mortal just?? Showed him kindness?? For no reason??? :((( he is legit sobbing his ass off I swear

𐙚 He tries to play it off but not in the cliche tsundere way, more like the “Dear god, should I say something cool here?? What if she (you) thinks I'm cringe” kind of moment.

𐙚 Bro is the type who trips and falls on his face whenever you're around because he's so enamored by your presence he forgets everything else exists and gets bullied by his elders (looks at Wukong specifically.)

𐙚 What's funny is you're probably an ordinary mortal and like. That's it. There's nothing that other gods would find interesting about you, but you're so sweet that Nezha is so lovestruck

𐙚 Does he get bullied by his brothers because of this crush?? Mayhaps. Do they also call you over whenever they see you while Nezha begs them not to draw your attention and now he has to play cool while his brothers casually bring up the most embarrassing moments of his life? Sadly, yeah. Is it a little worth it when you actually compliment him and call him cute?? Damn right.

𐙚 Don't worry Muzha and Jinzha make sure not to let him live it down. What are siblings for if not to make the youngest feel misery am I right??

𐙚 Nezha is the type of guy to hide in the most obvious places and when you point out you can see him he gives you a cheesy smile and go “Ah you found me hahaha― you look pretty today. I mean. Um. Nice weather. Haha yeah.” And then explodes.

𐙚 Nezha is the type of guy to get the hearts aura and get this dreamy eyed expression whenever he sees you and then promptly gets embarrassed by one of his brothers popping the aura ☹️

𐙚 Nezha is also the type of guy who would send you gifts and think he's being slick and mysterious by not leaving a name…but you'd have to be an idiot not to notice the obvious pink and lotus petals everywhere. But, you'll humor him and pretend you don't notice.

𐙚 He would get so red in the face when you kiss him or hold his hand and he just stands there looking awestruck even when you're long gone. 

𐙚 I'm certain Li Jing has come back to see Jinzha and Muzha trying to catch Nezha only for him to be screaming, “No, I'm not washing this hand ever again, fuck YOU―” and he just walks away because he's not putting up with this.

𐙚 Nezha is the kind of guy that personally handpicks and makes a large bouquet of flowers and shows up at your door hiding behind them to ask you out on a date. Please say yes, he looks like a pathetic wet cat.

Chapter Text

Sun Wukong tends to be clueless sometimes, but not to the extent where he wouldn't notice something wrong with his partner. Yes, maybe you're still as sweet and gentle as you always were, but now something is particularly off about you, and he's determined to find out and fix the problem somehow. His usual first assumption is to blame himself, because come on. The Great Sun Wukong makes everyone ready to kill themselves―who's to say that this isn't the case with his partner too.

You'll have to sit him down to explain after finding him arguing with Macaque about your mental health, and he's definitely lost as shit, but he'll sit you down and assure you that you don't need to worry about everyone so much, that it's okay to be selfish. He's going out of his way to ensure you have at least a month to yourself to be, well, you . He won't even ask you for sugar, he's giving you all of it.

Six Eared Macaque, me thinks, notices it right away. Maybe it's just the way you smile, or maybe it's just the help of his six ears. Whatever the issue, he figures it right away. I don't think he bothers to mention it―talking takes up too much energy. He'll just kidnap you from whatever you're doing and drag you to your room before giving you a long ass lecture on why you should stop fretting over other people and focus on yourself. He'll probably even bring Wukong to assure you that it's fine to be selfish before kicking him out again because…yeah. Best not to keep them in the same room if you value your belongings.

Chances are if you aren't convinced he's going to bring Mei in or he's going stalk you at every moment just for you to relax and take better care of yourself.

The Third Lotus Prince really tries, don't get me wrong, but between stress behind the celestial realm and having to deal with the mortal realm’s shenanigans, you really can't blame Nezha for not picking up on the signs. He's just as exhausted himself if not worse, but you bet he'll realize something is off with you. He just kinda figures things out based on his own experience, you know?

I don't think Nezha would actually bring it up though. He's probably scared he'd make it worse by bringing it up, but you bet he'll try subtly. Maybe it's asking you to take naps with him, or bringing you treats you like, suggesting places to visit in your free time. Things to distract you and take your mind off of worrying and those silly thoughts. 

Chapter Text

MK stares at the statue on his table.

The statue is of a figure, their hands clasped in prayer. Every detail is visible, even down to the feathers where wings are, outstretched on the figures back.

He props his face on his hands, staring at the gentle expression on the statue's face. A smile that's not quite the same. It's too stiff, nothing close to the original.

But it's the only reminder he has. The only thing to remind him that the person he once loved did in fact exist. That they weren't a figment of his imagination like his friends say. They were real , and once upon a time, they were together. 

Once upon a time, he met a boy called (Name). He used to be a little strange, quiet and mysterious, maybe a little rude at times. But he was there, and he was real, and he had been there at MK's side when he was at his lowest. He had been there to hold him when he thought he was alone. He had been there to hug him and kiss him, and he had been there even when MK yelled at him and told him to leave.

He could still remember his soft touch. How this (Name) would run his hands through his hair while he laid on his lap to complain about his day or rant about losing to Mei again.

The head of the statue breaks, and MK sighs and drops his head on his hands. Sculpting had never been his style, but lately, for some reason, he wanted to try it. The broken head is obvious proof he still has quite a long way to go before perfecting it.

He's an idiot. MK's an idiot for thinking things could've stayed the same. That he and (Name) would be happy, that everything would be okay after the Bone Demon happened. That finally, they would be able to settle down, and be together, and be happy, because (Name) loved him, and he loved (Name).

But then Azure happened. And after Azure came her , that woman, and that demon. 

And (Name) had to make a choice. And that choice was for the universe, but not for him. That choice was to save the lives of millions, but not for him. (Name) didn't think of him .

He feels selfish, knowing he had wanted to do the same, sacrificing himself too. He wanted to die because that's what heroes do, but (Name) wasn't a hero. (Name) shouldn't have had to die. That wasn't fair. It isn't fair

No one remembers him. (Name). No one remembers that he existed. No one remembers that he used to be a person too, that he had a family and a job. No one remembers MK once loved him too.

No one remembers but MK. MK remembers because…because why ?? Because he couldn't let him go?? Because he sucked at moving on?? That the Lady Bone Demon's words still haunt him, how he was and will always be destined to bring chaos and destruction to those he cared about??

Because what ? Why did he have to remember and mourn alone? Why did he have to be the one to lose the person he loved? How was any of this fair!?

A gentle wind rouses him from sleep. 

You smile gently as he stares at his open winding, blinking in a daze. He's still so exhausted, still tired even though you've tried your best.

You can't touch him, nor hug him. You can only watch him from afar, watch as he closes the window and stands, taking extra care with the headless statue, watch as he collapses on the bed and falls asleep miserably.

“Sorry, MK. Maybe in another life.”

Chapter Text

We're playing a game of xiangqi, but you're the one with the chariot, and I hold the pawn. 

You don't even smile when you set a red piece down.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” I always ask, and I'll set a black piece down. I'll pinch myself from impulsively reaching over to grab you, so I wouldn't startle you. I have to remind myself to be patient, so I won't hurt you. 

Even though I really want to shake you.

You'll stare at the board with your expression blank. You don't even smile or blink as you used to, only setting another piece down, ever so closer to capturing my general.

“I don't know what you mean,” you say, as you always do. And you'll look at me.

It's hard to decipher what you're thinking. You don't react when I frown, and you look away whenever I try to be honest.

“You know what I mean.” I rest another piece with much more force. The board shakes slightly, but you're unbothered.

I hate that about you. I hate that no matter how much I try you just don't react. Don't you see I care about you too? Don't you see how much it hurts me when you're out and about with anyone that looks your way?

It's not fair. It's not fair to you to be unhappy.

And it's not fair I can never get a chance to tell you how I feel.

You respond in a tone riddled with amusement, “You're not my mother, MK. You don't get to decide what I can do.”

“You're right that I don't,” I admit and set another piece down. It's a horse. “But I'm your friend, aren't I? Doesn't that give me the right to be concerned?”

Your chariot moves closer. I can't tell what you're thinking, not when you barely show a hint of emotion on your face. 

I like you too, you know. I'm not as stupid as you think.

I love you, even, but how can I lay my heart bare for you when you won't even give me the chance? Why can't you see you're only hurting yourself more?

C'mon, Shu. Should I be more obvious?

“Not really. What I do or don't do isn't your business as my friend. ”

But it is. Don't you see that? If only you'd just give me a chance to treat you better….I can . I can treat you better. I know I can.

So why are you still pushing me away?

“....”

Your phone rings, and it breaks the silence. I don't need to look to know who it is, another one of your flings. 

I wish…

Oh, what's the point. As long as we're alive in this universe, we'll forever be apart.

Chapter Text

Rihe has always been a strange one.

It's not a bad thing―at least not to Nezha. She's eccentric, a bit, and stubborn, and always breaks the rules―okay, yeah, super annoying―but she means well. She has a pure heart, because why else would Lady Guanyin accept her as an acolyte? 

He's…he's glad he has her as his sister.

But there are times where she can be a bit…peculiar for lack of better terms.

Like right now, as she throws a jacket at him with the words, “Wear a jacket, it's cold out.”

Why would they need to go outside? Did they have a mission or task to be completed? It was cold as hell in the mortal realm and only someone really ballsy would want to go out in this weather.

But Rihe insists, and as a (curious) brother he obeys, shrugging on a jacket to follow her walking for two miles to the parking lot where Red Son's strange friends hang out to waste their time.

Rihe’s bike is there, and another one that he recognizes as the motorbike the dragon girl gave him. To ‘welcome him to the team’, she had said.

“Um. Rihe.” The tiger glances at him. “Why are we here?”

Her fangs are awfully sharp when she grins, paws propped on her hips. Her tail sways dangerously behind her, like a cat readying itself to pounce.

Not that Rihe would do that. Right?

“To race, duh ―!” She comments with a laugh, and throws a helmet at him. He catches it with ease while she sits on her motorbike, swinging her legs. “You're so pent up and angry all the time. I say, let's race.”

The helmet has a lotus pattern. Cute.

“Yeah….” He shifts. “I'm not so sure…”

“C'mon, Nezha.” She pouts at him. “You need to loosen up some more. It's fun! Hong’er is always much better after a good race!”

“You know this because…?”

“Mei told me.” She straps on her helmet with difficulty―even after persisting, she refuses to cut that hair of hers―and gives him a thumbs up. “Don't be a loser. I promise you it'll be fun.”

She pauses, then adds as an afterthought, “And if you don't like it, I'll make it up to you, okay?”

Well….

Nezha sighs. “Fine. I'll humor you this once.”

He sits on the bike.

“ But , don't cry when I beat you.”

“Ha, you wish.”

And afterwards, when they collapse on the sofa back at home, catching their breaths with adrenaline still in their veins, Rihe flashes him a grin.

“Much better now, right?” He asks, and Nezha closes his eyes and nods.

“Yeah, you're right for once.”

“Yeah yeah.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

“Do you think your brother will return?”

A white stone clicks against the wooden board. The sound snaps him back to reality, if only for a brief second to see black eyes staring into him. She tilts her head, a small smile on her lips, and he blinks.

“Ah―” The Lotus Prince coughs in his palm. He hadn't meant to get distracted, not when he was the one who suggested they play a game of weiqi while they wait on his brother's return from Lady Guanyin’s temple. 

He blames Muzha for this. That older brother of his had thought it was funny to announce his arrival when they'd visited Lady Guanyin. He says, “You shouldn't be so shy around girls, little brother. You're not a child.”

He wasn't shy. He was just….okay, he is, a tiny bit embarrassed around the Bodhisattva’s disciple. Yi Zhou was―is―the opposite of everything Nezha, and it was…a bit weird. Maybe because she had a really nice smile, and she was always kind to Nezha when everyone else wasn't.

And maybe she smelt nice too. But not in a weird way!! In, like…a sweet way, he guessed?

Look. Point is. This is all Muzha’s fault, and he curses him.

“Nezha?” A hand gently taps shoulder, and he jolts. Yi Zhou’s face is closer, and she's smiling. “Are you alright? You seem out of it for some reason?”

….

Yi Zhou is really nice. Really , really nice. She's always been so kind to him, to anyone for that matter. And she's so graceful, and pretty, and so, so sweet . 

And….and….

“I've loved you from the moment I've met you.”

Yi Zhou blinks.

Nezha feels horrified. This is―this is not what he had planned for today, and he certainly did not want to make that kind of confession. This―he didn't mean too―it just―oh fuck, this is Muzha’s fault, again . Why did that stupid older brother of his insist on bringing him here!? This jerk!

He can't bring himself to look her in the eye. The silence is uncomfortable. Oh, maybe he should just burst into flowers and make a hasty retreat. Lady Guanyin would understand and forgive him, right? She is the goddess of mercy after all. 

“I never pegged the Lotus Prince to be this shy.” The comment catches him off guard. He raised his head to see Yi Zhou looking at him, her lower face hidden behind her sleeves. The corners of her eyes have crow's feet from the smile she attempts to hide.

Nezha feels his face grow warm.

“I….I am not shy,” he grumbles, and she laughs, soothing and sweet.

“Well. You're not exactly looking at me,” Yi Zhou sing-songs, and she's hooking a finger under his chin, tilting his head to face her. Her cheeks are colored pink. It's pretty.

Nezha blinks.

“I love you too, silly,” she remarks, and leans close. Nezha half expects her to kiss him, but her lips brush against his forehead, and she pulls away.

“I―” Nezha splutters. “But―you―I― huh ?”

“It was unexpected.” Yi Zhou pats his hand. “But the thought behind it counts, right? And it was cute!”

“Oh…” The Lotus Prince stared at her hand on top of his. It feels nice. This feels nice, for some reason. “So….”

“So….”

“.....”

“....wanna leave?”

“Yes please.”

Chapter Text

There's nothing but an empty lair.

It feels odd, somehow. Walking through this empty lair, not a soul in sight. No mech spiders crawling around, beeping spontaneously. No one arguing or fighting over who pleased the ‘Queen’, no one to approach her on all eight legs and turn her nose up at her.

Even the distant trickle of the small underground stream had become silent.

How depressing.

Yeling had never anticipated she would have wound up like this. Heartbroken over an egotistical spider demon and her trio of minions. She'd only agreed to a ‘partnership’ in the beginning because it benefited her . She couldn't have cared less for anyone else that wasn't her.

Yet, somehow that had changed.

And it sucked . 

Because now. Now, her life felt pointless. As if what purpose she once had is now gone.

Her footsteps echo through the empty lair. The last place she had seen her disappear is standing before her―a cauldron with toxic green liquid. All that remains now is a floating headpiece.

Yeling sighs. It's a risk dipping her hand, but she'd much prefer to hold what remains of the Spider Queen than to leave it floating. The liquid drips from the horn, sizzling once it makes contact with the stone floor.

Still, she turns it, staring at it with blank eyes.

“..... I'm sorry,” she whispers, to herself. Who else would listen, anyway? “I'm sorry, Spider Queen. I'm sorry for everything.”

It's funny. She never believed she was capable of feeling remorse―she had the Monkey King to thank for that― but here she is now. It's so unfamiliar, so unwelcoming.

She sets the headpiece down, on a small rock that's shaped like a tombstone. It's not the best but…beggars can't be choosers.

Yeling kneels, staring at the headpiece, her wings fluttering behind her.

“...you know, I hate you,” she says out loud. “But I also love you.”

Silence.

She laughs bitterly.

“Why hadn't I told you that sooner? Do you think if I had, you'd be here?” She scoffs. “Who am I kidding? You wouldn't have listened to a word I say.”

Silence.

“....I never had regrets up till this moment, but I think…my biggest is that I've met you.”

Chapter Text

“You're not fine.”

It's the first thing he hears when he leaves his palace that day. Initially, Nezha assumed it was the little kid that was running around as if he was walking on sunshine, but closer inspection revealed the brunette he's seen around the celestial realm.

Well, ‘seen’ is a light term. They're friends, sorta. 

Or. Should he call themselves friends? This Tao Zhang speaks to him quite often, ever since the day he returned to the celestial realm peeved after allowing the Monkie Kid and his group to escape and…disappointing his father. The celestial guards whispered and stared, and Nezha knew he was a laughing stock―but then this guy appears, and he's nice.

The nicest a god can be, at least.

The guy looked so much younger than him. So much so that when Tao Zhang introduced his erm , son, Lotto, a bubbly child with a bright future, Nezha had laughed, because surely this Tao Zhang was a jokester and he didn't mean it.

He did, in fact, mean it. Though he found out much later that the kid was, surprise, adopted.

Tao Zhang wasn't… so bad. Compared to others he called his ‘friends’ (unfortunately including Sun Wukong) anyway, he was actually…nice. And okay yes shoot him for repeatedly calling his companion nice but c'mon, he didn't want to focus on appearances , okay? And anyway, even if Nezha had cared for appearances, he'd be more popular wouldn't he? But he's not, so shut up!

Point being, Tao Zhang gave Nezha comfort, as odd as it sounds. He's possibly the only person Nezha would actually trust with his life.

So, of course, when his friend tells him as he leaves his home that he's ‘not fine’, Nezha's confused.

“What do you mean, I'm not fine?” Nezha persists, waving the kid that jumps around him off. Lotto pouts, but then he's distracted by another celestial and they're left alone.

Tao Zhang flashes a smile, and it's nice. Nezha likes it when he smiles.

“You aren't,” Tao Zhang repeats, and offers him a lotus flower growing from the center of his palm.

Nezha accepts it with a sigh. “I assure you that I am fine, ‘Zhang.”

The god merely laughs and links their hand together, pulling him after Lotto. Nezha watches the way he smiles and the warm feeling he has in his chest, and oh ―that explains it. His brother was right after all. 

He likes his dear friend. 

…. shit.

Chapter Text

MK doesn't recall the last time he's left the city.

Well, not like that. He's left it countless times before―to train with Monkey King on Flower Fruit Mountain, to search for certain artifacts to help dispel a major threat, to find answers, etc, etc. He has left the city, technically, just. They've never really been for relaxing moments, so he's never really enjoyed any of those moments one bit. 

But Jia invited him, somehow, to a place not too far from the city. And he's not surprised―they're friends, so obviously friends would invite each other to places! And even if MK's still trying to process his ehem feelings, the invite’s appreciated, because at least he can admire a bit of scenery on his way there.

She's there, sitting on a picnic blanket facing west. It's funny, seeing how much she's changed from their first meeting, where she was once scared of even touching someone for fear of hurting them. Now, that fear is quelled, and she embraces this side of her she had tried so hard to ignore.

She raises her head and smiles once they make eye contact. She calls out to him, and MK waves as he parks the tuk-tuk and hops out to join her.

The sun sets, casting a pleasant afterglow against the backdrop of the city.

“Glad you could make it!” Jia quips and nudges him. “I thought Pigsy would've swarmed ya’ with another workload today.”

“Nah―” MK shrugs. The blanket feels warm beneath him. It's nice. “He says I deserve a break every now and again. He doesn't want me to―” He finger-quotes. “― pass out on myself. Pft, can you believe that? As if I would pass out like that. I'm the Monkie Kid !”

Jia only sighs at his comment and leans over to pat his shoulder. “MK, even heroes need breaks,” she says gently, and then places a plate of sliced cheesecake on his lap. “Even you .”

“But I am fine!” MK complains.

“Are you really ?” She remarks, and the hand on his shoulder squeezes gently. “It's okay, MK, I promise, for you to take a break. You need it.”

He wonders if she knows how warm his face feels after she pulls away to stare at the darkening sky with her signature smile. “And the meteor shower is supposed to happen soon! Aren't you excited?”

MK only nods. He picks at the sliced cake on his lap while Jia rambles, gushing about how long it's been, how she can't wait to see the meteor shower with her dear friend. 

“Why are you friends with me?”

“Huh?”

MK avoids her confused gaze. 

“It's just. I bring problems wherever I go. And my friends always end up getting hurt because of me. You, Mei, Pigsy. Mr. Tang and Sandy. Hell probably Mo too.” He frowns and clenches his fist. “Everyone that I know is always getting hurt because of me. All because I'm too stupid to do anything right. And it's just―”

Jia grabs his face. Her hands are cold, probably because of her hydrokinesis, and it makes him pout.

“Look.” She sighs and squeezes his squished cheeks. “Do you remember when we first met? And you told me that I should believe in myself?”

She drops his face, and he blinks, “Yeah, but what does that―”

“Let me finish, okay?” Jia huffs and looks away. “You told me that I…I wasn't some sort of bad person for not understanding my powers. And that I should believe in myself because even a smidge makes all the difference?”

“I got that from Monkey King.”

“Yes, I can tell.” She sighs. “My point is, MK, you helped me realize that I wasn't a danger to anyone or myself. You helped me change, for the better! So, I want to help you too in turn, because I like you. And, as your friend―”

She tilts her head and gives him a small smile. “I can't promise to solve all your problems, but I can promise that you won't have to face them alone. I'll be here for you, I promise.”

MK stares.

“Um. B-but I guess if that's too much―”

“You like me!?”

“I―is that what you picked up from that!?”

“No! Well, maybe.” Jia groans as MK perks up. “But! You like me! As in, like-like !?”

“Um….”

“That's so cool! I like -like you too! This is so awesome―!”

“Wait…wait, wait a minute―wah!” Jia groans as MK throws himself at her, arms wrapped around her waist. He gives a smile and plants his lips messily on the side of her cheek with a smack. 

Ah. Well, that wasn't so bad.

“So, my awesome Monkie Kid charms wooed you in I assume~?”

“More like your pathetic wet cat energy.”

“Whuh―”

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding!!”

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

“During the ritual, a piece of the Samadhi Fire got away from me. I don't know what happened, but I guess part of it was sealed in the closest vessel that could contain it. My loyal companion , the White Horse Dragon, Ao Lie.”

The paper dragon flutters with a brief wind. It falls on its side, paper tail crumpled. Wukong stares, eyes blank, and his lip pursed. No matter how much adjusting he's done, he can never get the stupid tail on this dragon right. It crumples at any little movement.

So annoying, he clicks his tongue in veiled annoyance, picks up the dragon once again. Maybe he should make a new one, out of a different material, but…

But I like this one.

“God, you're so boring sometimes.” His shadow cast against the wall blinks. A mouth curves, crescent eyes glowing faintly and staring. “ Origami ? You picked up origami as a hobby? Since when ?”

“Immortality gives new rooms for hobbies.” Wukong tucks the green dragon away and glares at his shadow. “What do you want, anyway? I thought you were sleeping in that tree at the foot of the mountain?”

His shadow twitches. It leans forward, solidifies. Black fur and a signature red cape gives away their identity―as if it would ever be too difficult to guess.

Macaque flashes a smile, none too warmly, and plants his feet on the solid floor. His arms crossed behind his back giving him a smug appearance, and Wukong can already tell he's here to be a pain, again .

“Harsh. I only came to check on you as the kid asked.” A likely story, but Wukong knows it's true. MK, bless his soul, can seek comfort with his friends. Wukong would rather not deal with them though, not without the painful reminder left behind. And then, MK's actions still fresh on his mind…it leaves things pretty awkward between them still.

He appreciates it though. But, he would've appreciated it more if MK had sent someone else.

Macaque eyes the remaining origami figures. Red paper, pink and blue, shaped into different figures and sits on the table.

One is missing.

“Mmh. Didn't think you'd be the type to like origami,” Macaque comments and sits uninvited on the sofa. Wukong's tempted to kick him off, but he spies the baby monkey curled into his cape, snoring peacefully. He'll leave him be for now. “I always figured you'd be too impatient for it.”

“I know.” He's still impatient. The wads of crumpled paper sitting in a wastebasket is proof of that. But sometimes he gets bored, and he's too lazy to watch TV or surf the internet to bully people. “There's no way you're here for this.”

Macaque shrugs. “Just a comment. When's the last time you slept?”

About a month ago. After he'd recovered from Azure's death and just needed to rest. Only for that to be ruined with Xiangliu and Li Jing recollaring him.

“Why do you care?”

“I don't.” Macaque's either honest, or he's lying again. Wukong can never tell. “But the kid…”

“I'll be fine. I won't die from not sleeping.” That's true. “And if I'm exhausted….I have methods.” Also true. He'll be fine regardless.

Macaque looks conflicted. It's odd.

“Wukong…”

“If that's all you're gonna say, can you leave?” The green paper dragon shifts with his movement. He doesn't want it crumpled, but he also refuses to give Macaque another reason to mock him. Another weakness to exploit. “I'm kinda busy, in case you didn't notice.”

Macaque gives him a weird look. He looks like he wants to make a remark, say something. Instead, he sighs and stands, waving his hand vaguely.

“Fine. Whatever. My work here is done anyway.”

Wukong waits until he can no longer sense him. He pulls out the origami dragon, tail still…not okay. 

Ah. He's tried. Maybe he just needs a nap….

Macaque comes around again. He wordlessly makes himself comfortable in the bad excuse for a kitchen, flipping through a fashion magazine. Probably Mei's. She's left behind selfies in the hut as well. It's a sweet gesture of friendship, but she's taken a lot of selfies. And Wukong's always looking weird with some filters. Uncool.

Wukong tries to ignore him and work on his project again. The paper that was once the dragon is smoothed out, though wrinkled horribly.  

He'll make it work, though.

“Ugh. You're so boring.”

He ignores Macaque.

“I wanna do something.”

“Mmh.”

“This is the part where you usually say; Gee Macaque, whaddya have in mind ?”

It's funny how the roles have reversed.

But, Wukong does miss exploring. He misses pretending to be a mortal and walking whatever path he comes across, sticking his nose in other people's business and gossiping about anything. He misses too, stopping by Pigsy's for a bowl of noodles and pestering him till the pig demon throws his spoon and threatens to boil him in broth.

He misses…

“Ugh. Okay.” Wukong stands. “Let's go. But I'm not buying you shit.”

“Rude.” Macaque also stands. He looks disappointed. “And I came all this way to cheer you up too.”

“What's that word Mei says? Oh. Womp womp. ”

“Fuck you.”

Wukong's never been a fan of crowds, but he will admit, he does miss the hustle and bustle of people. Macaque's taken them to a village not too far from his mountain, just in case he decided to get tired of people. A street vendor offers them a stick of tanghulu. He's quick to accept, dropping a few gold coins in his hands before departing.

“You do know people don't use coins anymore, right?” Macaque remarks offhandedly, watching the vendor's eyes bulge in pleasant surprise. “Certainly not gold. ”

Wukong shrugs. “Ehhh, whatever. I've got plenty more where that's came from!”

“Flaunting your wealth like that will cause attention.”

“Nice.”

“Bad attention.”

“Not nice.”

Macaque makes a noise of frustration. Wukong grins, mouth sticky sweet. He plays with the now empty stick, looking for other stalls to mess with. He spies one with a cute sign―written in messy block letters and a cute dragon drawing.  

“Where are you going?”

“Sweets!” Wukong chirrups, hands outstretched as he skips along. Ah, he's missed this. Wandering around, buying and eating anything in sight. All he needs to do now is to bug a local tudi or find a god's temple to fuck with and his day is complete! Behind him Macaque tags along, albeit somehow unwillingly, but who cares what he thinks? He did say he wasn't buying him shit.

The stall sells dragon beard's candy, but there's no one in sight at the moment. Huh. No one would be smart enough to leave their stall unattended, would they?

If this was his younger years, he'd sneak in and steal….just outta spite. He wouldn't now though, but ah…it's tempting.

Macaque peers inside. “Helloooo?”

“Do you think they have peach flavor?” Wukong remarks thoughtfully. “ Is there peach flavored dragon's beard? Also, why call it dragon's beard…it doesn't look like one.”

“God, you're annoying.”

“Then leave. Bitch.”

“No.”

“Fuck you.”

Wukong raises his hand to stab his stick into Macaque's arm. It wouldn't hurt, obviously, and he doesn't actually want to stab him, just poke him hard enough that he'll take a hint. He wants to poke him hard enough to earn a reaction, but someone calls out, “Coming, coming!” And he has to be on his best behavior.

The figure wears a green apron patterned with pink flowers. It's cute, though a bit of an odd choice. Higher up, he takes note of the snow white hair tied into a messy (ha) bun, strands dangling across their face on occasion.

Wukong stares. 

The figure stares right back.

“.....”

“Ao Lie?”

“E-excuse me?”

He's going mad. He has to be. Aside from the hair, this person is a completely different figure. Their eyes (eye color) and skin are (skin tone) but the smile….

He can recognize that smile in any lifetime. Gently curved, polite but giving you the sense of a mischievous side. He knows he can recognize this smile through any time…

Macaque rests a hand on his shoulder. He only just realized he's staring until the monkey demon remarks, “Wukong?”

He blinks. Laughs, because fuck , he really is going mad. Fuck . 

“S-sorry.” He rubs his eyes. “Ha! Sorry, you just. You looked like―”

“The White Horse Dragon?” The figure smiles. It's forced. “Yes. I'm aware.”

Wukong tenses.

“You have not aged a day since our last meeting, dear Wukong. It's an honor to meet you again.”

Sun Wukong cannot die. He is, after all, an immortal being.

He does, however, faint on the spot. He blames the sun for that.

Macaque is….intimidated, to say the least.

Well. No. Not so much intimidated than intrigued. He sits here with a figure he's not familiar with physically, but aware of to a certain degree. How can he not, when this figure has taken the role Macaque once played for Wukong, before the incident . A best friend, a loyal companion.

It feels weird. He hadn't really thought much of the stall vendor when they showed up some hours ago. He was just impatient to leave, bored out of his mind. Wukong usually always got them into trouble wherever he went, and he was impatient to leave the village before he decided to cause more. Who knew the insufferable Sage would recognize his old friend and pass out on the spot?

The things Macaque does for him too. He didn't necessarily need to help. But well, he couldn't exactly leave the guy to fall, so of course, Macaque caught him by the waist, huffing a curse. The stall vendor gasped in surprised, jumping over his stall to place a hand against the fallen Monkey King's forehead with a small curse.

Ao Lie, was the name Wukong knew him by, the figure explained when Wukong was brought to his home and left to rest. But now, he had a new one. He was a new person!

…..god, Macaque terrifies you. You really were trying your hardest not to come off as wimpy, but it's difficult when all he does is stare at you with obsidian eyes devoid of emotion. You can barely tell what he's thinking, especially in this situation. It really hadn't been your fault…you didn't mean to make Wukong faint….

You had anticipated this situation countless times in your head. Scenarios where you would accidentally run into Wukong, anticipating excitement, or sadness. And anger.

You'd spent so much of your time fretting over encountering him again that when you actually did, you didn't know where to laugh or cry. The gods above truly enjoy making a mockery of your unfortunate life, didn't they?

Now you're sitting here, waiting for Wukong to wake up, and glancing occasionally at Macaque.

Wukong had never stopped speaking about him. His best friend, the Six Eared Macaque. You remember during your journey in the past, whenever Wukong used to look after you before Zhu Baijie and Sha Wujing came along. When it was just the two of you with the Monk. He would recount stories of his life before, friends you could never dream of meeting. One that always stood out was Macaque, his best friend. The one he'd grown so fond of, how he (Wukong) had hurt him. 

And when the incident happened, Wukong had been so numb. He hadn't even spoken to you with the days that followed, but you knew. Master mentioned it to the others on occasion.

“What's your name?” Macaque queried, glancing at you curiously. “You said you had a new one in this life, right?”

You smile awkwardly. “Yes…I've grown fond of it too.” It honestly wasn't half as bad as your first name. And anyway, as you had been told, it's time to move on. Your new name had been accepted with grace. “I was called (Name).”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Macaque crosses his arms. “It just sounds a bit plain, is all.”

Your shoulders sag at that. Is it really a plain name? You thought your new name was lovely. Ao Lie was also a mouthful to say on occasion…

“Don’t do that.”

“Huh?”

Macaque sighs. He pinches his nosebridge and shakes his head like he's disappointed. Is it your appearance? You thought your new form was also fine! A bit weird at first, but it's easier to practice when you're a literal baby again. You didn't think it was too bad…

“That look. Quit that weird look you're making.” Weird look? What weird look? “The one you're making right now.”

Ah….you spoke too soon.

You smile sheepishly. “I'm sorry.”

Macaque sighs twice again. He looks exhausted, or agitated. You don't really blame him. It's a bit weird being around your friend's ex-friend. Though, you admit you're surprised―Wukong had killed him, yet here he is. Maybe they reconciled their friendship? It'd make sense, it's been years. You're happy Wukong isn't alone anymore to suffer. You're happy that he's friends with his best friend again.

“I expected you to be different,” he says suddenly. You blanch, yet he continues as if he hadn't noticed. “I'm not sure. Brave, maybe? He's never shut up about you either.”

…. whuh?

“I mean. He's still mourning. Even when you've all since supposed to be dead.” Harsh words, but you figured the point he's trying to make. “And I just. I don't understand. How can he still miss you guys? Even after what had happened?”

I could say the same for you , you think, picking at your nails. You don't say it though. You don't think it's fair. Macaque has known Wukong longer, in your past life, and in this new one. 

You will admit to being surprised though. You didn't…you didn't think your deaths would ever hurt Wukong so. You knew, before your last breath, that he would be lonely, with his immortality. You knew he'd have a hard time making friends. You just also didn't think he'd miss you .

You hadn't been impactful, and you're no idiot. You've checked the story on occasion―Bai Long Ma, Ao Lie, the White Horse Dragon, the Monk's faithful steed―whatever name they choose, it's still the same. You're just a figure that contributes little.

And you're not mad about it. I mean, it's depressing, because being a horse is really no easy business, but you're not surprised, and you can't be bothered to care. In your old life, maybe, you'd be concerned, perhaps hurt.

In your new one, you just can't care. The most important thing to you is the fact you spent your final years with people you loved. And yes, maybe waking up one day as a baby again is still a huge shock for you, but you're just glad you can have a second chance.

And you're glad you met Wukong again.

Macaque is still staring at you. His eyes are narrowed, focused, as if he's searching for something on you. You don't know what, but he seems to give up eventually and look away, passing his hands through his fur.

This is awkward. Actually, more than awkward. 

You want to say something. Anything. 

“I think Wukong wants to see you,” he says, finally and stands. “I'll give you two some privacy.”

Wukong stares at you. It's the same look he'd worn upon your first meeting, when you admitted defeat. It's the same look he also wore when he had to pretend to be a girl to seduce Zhu Baijie but that's besides the point…

“Wow,” he says.

“Yeah.”

“So. Your hair's still the same.”

“Oh. Yeah. Don't know why though. My new parents don't have white hair. I guess it followed me around.”

“Yeah. Why choose dragon's beard candy to sell?”

“Thought it was a funny idea. Plus it's easy to make.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah….”

God, maybe you should die a second time. The tension is so awkward. You can't even look at him now. It's just too much! It's too embarassing! Maybe Macaque should be here. Yeah! He's smarter, where's that stupid emo―

A hand wraps around your wrist. You're not fully aware of it until you're pulled closer and arms are hugging you close. Wukong's head is buried in your chest, and his body shakes. You can't tell if he's crying, or shaking from happiness.

You place a hand on his head. His fur is softer now. Makes sense what with mortals new inventions nowadays…

“You're alive, ” Wukong says, voice muffled. “You're alive. I'm not going crazy. Am I?”

“Well…” You sigh. “That would imply I'm going crazy too.”

“Ah..” He laughs. “Ha…hahaha. Hahaha, oh god. I'm not insane. Or maybe I am. Oh fuck.”

His voice cracks. He still hasn't raised his head. 

“You're alive. You're alive. And. And you remembered me. You actually…you actually remember me?”

You frown. “Why wouldn't I? You're my friend.”

“Yeah. You are.”

It's odd. You're not sure what prompts him to say this….were you not supposed to remember him? Maybe you were wrong then, and Wukong actually didn't care about you as much as you thought. Maybe if you threw yourself out the window you had enough time to flee….

The tail around your wrist squeezes, and Wukong sits up abruptly. The rims of his eyes are red and they look glossy with unshed tears. He grabs you by the shoulders, staring, staring , into your eyes.

You feel nervous. Is he going to yell at you? 

Where the hell is Macaque when you need him!?

“It is you.” Wukong smiles. It's so forced. You almost want to pinch his cheek. “It is you. Ao Lie.” He pauses. “Or…(Name)?”

“Whichever you'd prefer.” You mean it. Either way, you're Ao Lie, and you're (Name). Whichever he uses to address you meant little to you.

Wukong's shoulders sag slightly. You think he's disappointed, but his eyes are shining, and that in itself tells a different story. He looks pleased, somehow.

“(Name).” He perks up. “It's been too long. What have you been up too while I've been gone? No horse eating incidents anymore, right?”

You splutter, “Wukong! How rude!! I don't eat horses!”

“Ah..humans…”

“NO!!!”

The paper dragon flutters with a brief wind. It falls on its side, paper tail crumpled. Wukong pouts, vaguely disappointed.

“Aww. It's a dragon!” You enter the room, eyes instantly glued onto the origami dragon. You kneel, picking it up by it's crumpled tail. “So cute!!”

“It's not perfect,” Wukong persists, offering his hand. You place the dragon onto his hand, and sulk when he crumples it into a ball. 

You cross your arms. “Does it have to be perfect?”

“Nope.” Wukong fetches another sheet of paper, a lighter green. He offers you one to try―lately, he's been trying to teach you, but so far your only talent is creating paper planes to throw at Macaque. He's never very happy with that. “But….it never hurts to try, right?”

“Boooo.”

“Stop sulking.”

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

Chapter Text

I'm not dead 

Lmao, August has been one hell of a month for me Jesus Christ. Like, some assholes who's names I won't mentioned but start with G and N joined my old server, bullied and harassed me and sent their friends to further harass me off my own Tumblr acc, then I tried to kill myself and it didn't even work ffs my life has been absolute mess

But, don't worry, surprisingly I'm still alive. Just coping and currently trying not to fall into another episode. I've just been trying to fix my new Tumblr and then I'm gonna start posting again :( I'm sorryyy sobs

I cant wait for them and their fuckfriends to see this and start bitching again, acting like little children 💕 ngl this is why some people shouldn't have kids cause imagine fucking and waiting nine months only to push out a 26/21 year old who acts like a teenager rather than an adult. Embarassinggggg

Uh. Yeah I'm still petty about it...but seriously I promise to come back. Yaaaaah

Chapter Text

It started off with sweet kisses, locked away in MK's bedroom. He was never the quiet type, your boyfriend, always quick to giggle at every movement. Even when he nudged you towards his bed, crawling to hover above you, there was that sweet smile you admired and loved. He kissed the center of your palm when you reached up to cup his cheeks, pressing into your touch before he swooped in for another kiss, swallowing every sweet noise you made.

His hands drifted, on your chest, pushing your shirt above your tummy. They traced your underboobs and MK half-laughed when you playfully pinched him for the light squeeze.

Then his hands drifted lower. On your hips, hooking on the waistband of your pants. MK hummed when you sighed against the kiss, running your hands through his messy hair. 

He pulled away, flashing you a cheeky grin. “You're more excited than I am,” he teased when you raised your lower body high enough for him to pull your shorts off.

You rolled your eyes when your pants were thrown somewhere in his already messy room. Trying to find that back again would be a pain in the ass, and knowing MK, he would probably try to convince you to wear his clothing because, You can't go outside naked!!!!!!! As if he doesn't know where its hiding.

You can't say you mind though.

“You started it,” you pointed out when he shrugged off his own jacket, propping your legs around his shoulders. 

“Well, yeah. Do you expect me not to want to go down on my beautiful, wonderful, amazing, gorgeous, sweet―” MK paused. “I don't remember the other words. But, ya get what I mean right?”

“No.”

“(Name)!”

You shook your head at his offended expression, cheeks puffing like a chipmunk’s. That didn't stop him from settling into a more comfortable position between your legs, his hands on your thighs squeezing and kneading the tender flesh. 

You attempted to prop yourself up into a better position, one where you could at least see the sight of your boyfriend's pretty eyes looking up at you. Unfortunately for you, MK took your words to heart, and before you could even grab a pillow, his warm breath ghosted your exposed sex and made you jolt.

“MK!” 

L

“What?” MK remarked with a saccharine tone. His eyes were crescents as he smiled at you from his position, with an expression you could barely see from where you were lying. “You obviously don't believe your amazing boyfriend's words of…wisdom?”

“Praise,” you corrected, and he sighed. He pulled your thighs closer, placed upon his shoulders while he kissed your inner thigh.

“Yeah, that.” His breath ghosted your wet core once more. You tensed, biting your lip as his tongue darted out and teased your folds. “So, I think as a dutiful boyfriend should, if I can't convince you with words, I'll convince you with actions! Monkey King taught me that.”

“Why the fuck would you bring up Monkey Kin―ah!” Your words barely had a chance to escape your lips before MK’s tongue was on your pussy once again, his hands holding your thighs apart firmly. You had to bite on your knuckles to prevent yourself from making any loud noises, less Pigsy and his customers downstairs hear anything they're not supposed to. MK might get off easy but Pigsy would kill you before you could even blink.

MK's tongue brushed against your throbbing clit. You squirmed when the wet appendage dutifully teased you, your free hand grabbing a fistful of his hair while you whined against your palm. You could practically feel his smile when you tugged on his hair impatiently, and his tongue drifted from your teased clit to your folds. 

“ Hngh ―” You tried to squeeze your thighs together, grinding your hips against his mouth for some sort of relief, but MK's grip was strong. He wasn't exactly the Monkey King's student for no reason, and his strength to pin your hips down while his lips teased your cunt was proof enough of that. 

You could've cried when he finally picked up a pace and thrusted his tongue in your weeping hole, finally granting you the pleasure you desired. You bit down on your own hand, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when MK's tongue pressed into your hole and his finger rubbed your needy clit, edging you on. His fangs gently grazed your skin as he practically buried his face between your thighs.

“ MK ―!” You gasped when the pressure built up inside of you. Your body pressed against his touch, drooling around your own fingers while MK's grip on you tightened and his mouth continued its pace, alternating between your hole and sucking on your clit with his own pleasured moan.

White spots appeared in your vision when you came, and you were certain your lip was bleeding if the metallic taste was anything to go by. Your limbs felt weak, a stifled moan escaping you as that pressure burst, and you squirted from your boyfriend's mouth.

…. oh .

You spluttered weakly, hiding your face between your hands while MK shifted between your legs. You couldn't see his expression, and you weren't sure you wanted to. Not when you were reeling from embarrassment.

“(Name)?” Your boyfriend gently poked you. “What's wrong? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head. The spot between your legs shifted, and you gasped when a thick finger gently drew a circle around your sensitive bud.

“I can't help you if you don't speak to me,” he remarked in a sing-song voice, the pad of his thumb pressing against you. “(Name)~ are you shy? Was it because of that thing you did?”

You wanted to die.

“It was! It was so cute!” He applied pressure to your throbbing clit, and a whine escaped you. “Aw, are you embarrassed? You really shouldn't be, I liked it. And you did too, right?”

“ MK ―” You spared him a glance. The bottom half of his face was covered in your juices, and MK had no shame whatsoever. He gave you a sweet smile when he caught your gaze, and you wanted to look away again. “You're so―ugh!”

“Yes, yes, amazing I know,” he laughed impishly, and those fingers flicked your clit and made you jolt. They teased your folds, gathering your juices while MK teased your hole that clenched emptily around nothing. “Don't be shy. That was amazing .”

You spluttered when MK's fingers pulled away from your pussy. He maintained eye contact with you before propping them into his mouth, sucking them clean. 

“As a matter of fact,” he started off, leaning between your thighs again. “I think I wanna see it again. You don't mind, right, (Name)?”

Before you could even protest, his lips were latching onto your bud once again, and this time you weren't so sure you would be able to stay silent.

It was gonna be one messy night.

Chapter Text

𐙚 True love is when your boyfriend looks at you with hearts in his eyes and believes you're the most beautiful being in existence. No, it doesn't matter if you have three heads or multiple arms, or a singular eye that pierces your soul, or a form that'll make any normal mortal cry. You're beautiful as you are, and he loves you so, so much.

𐙚 Whatever circumstances you may have met, MK loves you. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and by the gods you're the most stunning being he's ever had the blessing of laying his eyes upon. 

𐙚 If there's one person who will ever make you feel the most loved, it's MK. His friends might be frightened of you (and for good reason, no offense), but to him; he doesn't care. You're stunning and so sweet, perfect in every way. Was there anything about you that would be flawed in his eyes? Ha! Never.

𐙚 Even if you're uncomfortable and believe you're too scary, MK's always there to assure you you're wrong, that you're beautiful and amazing and oh, how he loves you. 

𐙚 He literally has an entire sketchbook made entirely of drawings of you and him together. MK will pull up at your house (because you may not be able to stay at his apartment) and spend at least the entire day showing you the special drawings of you and him together going on walks or adventures, picking flowers, etc. There's even one of you together with him and Pigsy. He'll try to convince you to get a picture later on but for now a drawing will do.

𐙚 Bro does not give a FUCK about what anyone thinks about you. Pigsy and co have to learn to get used to you (and they do, don't fret) because he has 0 intention of pulling out anytime soon.

𐙚 Have I mentioned how much he adores you? Okay, here's an extra note: MK LOVES YOU!! And he will die for you, I said what I said.

𐙚 Pulling up to the most loyal boyfriend competition and who's already there? That's right, MK the Monkie Kid y'all. 

What do you mean I'm bias about MK shut up 🙄

Chapter Text

You're MK’s perfect match.

No, it wasn't because you liked Monkey King (he's such a big meanie to you), and it wasn't because you liked Pigsy's noodles (too spicy) and it wasn't because you were friends with Mei (you were but she always bullied you for trying to be MK's new bff ☹️), and it also wasn't because you pissed of Red Son by simply existing.

Nah, you were his match because you always matched his wild energy. Opposites usually attracted each other, but it seemed like similarities also drew each other in as well. And MK would have to be an ass like Macaque if he ever said he didn't enjoy your company.

And he appreciated you, he truly did. 

Even at his lowest point, even after everything he's done, your very presence filled him with joy.

“MK?” You gently pinched his cheek, bringing him back to reality. There you were, sitting next to him on the roof of Pigsy's noodles. You were smiling at him , your thumb rubbing the spot you had pinched with the sweet smile that you always wore.

MK stared at you, and felt tears threatening to spill, even when he'd cried enough in Monkey King's arms. 

If he had actually allowed the cycle to end, would you have been reborn? Would he have ever seen you again? If Xiangliu had never awakened him early, would he have ever met you?

His heart squeezed at the thought. The mere idea that somewhere out there, there was a universe where he would've never existed. That he'd never have met you ….

“Don't cry. You're so sweet, MK. Have I ever told you how much I loved you?” One after the other the words tumbled from your lips, and your arms wrapped around him, hugging him close. Your presence, so warm and comforting, reminding him of what he could've lost…. “I love you. I love you to the moon and back! Don't cry, you're way too cool to cry!”

And so sweet..

He couldn't help but laugh, returning your embrace with his own.

“I know,” he said, allowing you to thread your hands through his hair, scattering sweet kisses across his face. “I know, and I love you too, (Name).”

“You better.” You gave him another kiss. From below, Tang was gagging at the sight, but you stuck your tongue out at him. “From now on, just trust me, alright? We're boyfriends! And I need you!! I mean, who else is gonna help me piss off Red Son?”

“There's Mei―”

“She hacked his socials and posted FNAF fanfiction.”

“Oh. Then yeah you do need me.”

“Exactly!”

Chapter Text

Okay, this didn't end up being more fic-ly like my other fics, forgive me Nonnie, but the moment I saw it I just went, "Hey, wait a minute, how would this work?" And now I'm here hahaha. This got a bit into the analysis side, so uhhhh, yeah sorry 😭😭 I just reallyyyy like doing these kinds of things gah

 

(Edited on AO3: I really did drop my other fics just to explore this haha, it was too interesting not to rack my brain for)

 

 

 

🤔 I'm not sure if a relationship with him would work immediately if he's aware you're a spider demon on first meeting. Not to say that isn't impossible―MK the Monkie Kid will love anything if it feeds him. I know, I fed him and he loves me (this is a joke for legal reasons). It's just that his paranoia/fear of spiders overshadows any logic or reason, so a first meeting is him fleeing for his life. If you have an appearance like the Spider Queen he's just running around shrieking while you stand there watching him. If it's not as spidery he might give you a chance. Might, who knows if he doesn't freak out and faint again.

Of course though, as always I think it really just depends on the situation. If in the instance you're not a villain and you genuinely wish to help, then as scared as MK will be, he is NOT going to hate you, not MK. Have you seen how he pleaded with Spider Queen coming to the finale of S2, warning her about LBD?? He's not some heartless prick much less judgemental―he knows if you really want to change and do good, you're someone to change. Yeah, he'll be a bit scared still especially if you have more spider traits, but I genuinely think he'll warm up to you bit by bit till, and if you spend enough time with him, he forgets you're a spider demon. You're a friend now.

Like I said, it really does genuinely depend on the scenarios. Don't anticipate love at first sight―not unless you find MK fainting and his pathetic wet cat energy attractive 😭.

I think it could work out though, with a relationship. MK's not some judgemental prick. I know a lot of people might think, "Oh, but he's afraid of spiders!" but that doesn't overshadow his kindness. He would genuinely fall in love with you regardless of what you looked like, so long as you have a good heart. Hell, I don't think you even need to be a good guy. If MK runs into you enough times and you show the single ounce of kindness, if not to him then to someone else, he really thinks you'll be capable of change. If you're lucky, he would even tell you that he doesn't find Spider Queen so bad if she'd just stop trying to make everyone spider zombies.

Bringing us to the other scenario: being directly related to the Spider Queen. Honestly I think that matters little to him at this point with the points I mentioned above. I think the one difference if he finds out you're directly, directly related to Spider Queen is to faint on the spot and consider how the fuck he's gonna get her to not kill him :<

These are just if he's aware from the beginning you're a spider demon. If per chance you wear a glamor and befriend him and he finds out you're really a spider demon, much less some relative to Spider Queen, I can imagine different scenarios going down:

1) Were you pretending to be his friend to hurt him for your family? If so, expect him to be heartbroken as fuck. It'll take a while for you to regain his trust but if you do mean it, he'll forgive you. Just don't do it again.

2) Accidental? Oh, okay. That's cool. Do you plan on eating him? No? Okay....so what are you doing standing all the way there?? Get back here, he needs to snuggle and he can't snuggle when your ass is all the way there. Huh? Yeah yeah, it's creepy but you're not so bad. It's cute. Just don't eat him. Please.

A relationship with him though isn't impossible. Regardless of the scenario, everything falls under 2 things;

1) Are you capable of showing empathy and kindness?

2) Do you truly feel the same way about him?

If the answer to both of these are yes, then yes, regardless if you're a spider demon, a relationship is possible. Looks really don't matter to someone like MK. Hell, not even your shitty personality.

The only problems you'd have with MK when a relationship works out with him is Spider Queen because I know damn well she's gonna terrorize MK so bad.

"I'm gonna make you swallow spiders in your sleep try any shit with me boy, see if I'm playing 👁️👁️."

"Y-yes Ma'am, I'm sorry Ma'am. Please don't kill me Ma'am."

Overprotective mother Spider Queen my beloved 🫶

Edit: A lot of people will argue; "MK's scared of spiders, why would he date one?"

 

1) Spiders. Not spider DEMONS who have sentience and can act, speak and think like a human being, and looks human-ish too. He can give them a chance.

 

2) MK's not some heartless bastard. To the finale of S2, he genuinely tries to plead with Spider Queen about LBD. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have bothered reasoning with her. Spider Queen might've had a change of heart a tad bit too late but you can see that MK's words really did have some affect on her for to willingly risk herself FOR the kid she's trying to kill. She could've damn well fled for her life and left MK there, and MK could've simply fled and not said shit. I really can't see MK being a judgemental ass, I really can't. It just wouldn't be in his character, especially if it's before the events of s4/5.

 

Notes: I love doing analysis of shit like this, it's super fun, but to certain koala-brains, please understand this isn't me thinking I know everything. This seriously is just my opinion + how I IMAGINE LMK MK would react and be towards an s/o who's a spider demon. My word isn't law, and I understand there are others who will think differently. This is just how I interpreted MK based on the countless times I've watched the show. If you believe MK would act differently, good for you.

Chapter Text

Meeting you was a dream Nezha could never want to forget. It was one of his life's greatest mistakes, and yet for once in his life, it was one he held no regrets for. Not one bit, when the feelings he held for you were so pure and filled with nothing but the utmost passion. To him, you meant the world, and perhaps more.

“Nezha, is it?” Soft hands run through his hair, undoing the messy braids he'd struggled to tie just this morning. “An interesting name for a god like him.”

“Does it matter?” Above him, his father crosses his arm. “Can you heal him, or not?”

The soft voice sighs melancholy. It reminds him of a lullaby, sung to him by a distant voice during a thunderstorm. The hands that thread through his hair still, and the warmth spreads through his body. Gentle fingers press into his scalp, massaging the tender skin.

Then, there is silence.

“That's it?” Li Jing's bitter voice breaks the silence. “That's all?”

“I must remind you, my lord, that this humble servant is not as powerful as her elders.” The hands in his hair gently rub a pattern. “And she has done her best for this lotus prince. All that remains now is for him to rest and allow his body to heal on its own.”

He feels fine, though. Whatever this stranger had done, his body has never felt more alive. It was opposite feeling he had felt before, when Taiyi had restored him.

His father ‘tsks’ angrily. “He'll be fine. He's not some child to rest at every interval.”

He anticipates whoever the stranger is to agree with him.

“Li Jing. You are correct that this is no child, but he is, theoretically, your son. And unless you imply your wife has made you wear a green hat, there is nothing in this world that can change the shared blood you two will have even until death. Have some sympathy, won't you?”

Ah. This was a strange feeling, having someone stand up to that prick of a father he had. Something warm fills his chest at the thought.

It's only when a door slams shut that Nezha dares to open his eyes. A kind woman is looking down at him, with nothing but a smile on her lips.

“Hello, Nezha.” You spoke his name so kindly, filled nothing but gentleness. “I'm glad you're awake. How are you feeling?”

A goddess. No, something else indeed.

Nezha had zero qualms dedicating his life's purpose to you. It's not like he had much to do anyway, and the Jade Emperor did not seem to mind his attachment to you so long as he did his duties. Li Jing complained often, and for all Nezha knew, most definitely still did, about this vulnerability he showed the goddess that healed him, but the Lotus Prince found that he did not give one fuck . Why should he care if his father had a stick up his ass about his relationship with the goddess that healed him? Lady (Name) held no complaints towards his presence, and thus, any other complaints from outsiders were ignored.

And you truly had nothing against Nezha's presence at your side. Since the day he had found himself lying on your lap, he seemed to hold some form of attachment and loyalty towards you. You put it off as his attempt at being grateful, even though you really didn't mind. Helping people was always one of the joys you held ever so dearly in your immortal life. Nezha really didn't need to express his gratefulness…

Though his company was nothing short of welcoming. The Lotus Prince, for all his grumpy attitude and sulky expressions, was a dear to be around, and you quite liked how his expression would always turn so adorably pink when you compliment his feats. One of your favorite pastimes with him was styling his hair, and tying colorful ribbons in them for the funs of it.

A few gods and immortals were surprised at the sight, but soon enough they learnt it was best not to ask. Less questions meant less injuries, since a certain prince did not like it when people swooned over your kindness.

You were pretty sure that was why so many patients senses a cold aura every visit, come to think of it. But maybe it was just your imagination and not the lotus prince glaring from the window.

Speaking of which, how did he managed to climb so high??

“Sun Wukong, is it?” You thanked Nezha for the tray that he offered you, your favorite blend of tea―a gift from Nezha's older brother, Jinzha―already made and poured into the fancy porcelain cups you favored so much. The tray was set down on the small table between yourself and your guests, and you offered a cup to each. “And your loyal protege, MK?”

The boy wearing the red bandanna nodded quickly, a noticeable blush on his cheeks. You put it off as excitement, since the moment he'd entered the celestial realm, he'd been gushing about the beauty of the place, top to bottom and back again. His mentor wasn't half as excited, grabbing him by the collar to stop him from running off to who knows where while he sipped on a cup. 

“I'm surprised you haven't heard of me,” Sun Wukong remarked, raising a brow at you. “You a new god or something?” When you nodded in confirmation, he blinked. “Ah, that explains it. Pretty sure I would've recognized a pretty face like yours.”

Next to you, Nezha's aura radiated annoyance. Maybe it was just your imagination, but you swore you could feel the god and monkey exchanging heated glares.

Weird.

“You flatter this servant too much,” you answered humbly and smiled. “But it is true that this is the first time I've even heard of you, Sun Wukong.”

“Ah? How old even are you?” MK questioned curiously.

“25 when she first achieved enlightenment. 457 years in mortal terms.” This time, Nezha was the one who spoke. You flashed him a grateful smile―because sadly, you truly kept no track of these things, not when it felt so pointless―but Wukong exchanged a weird look with his protege, especially when Nezha gave him a stink eye. “And you should know better than to ask a lady her age. It's disrespectful.”

“Don't be mean, he meant no harm―” You chided Nezha, gently patting his face. He leaned into your touch with a pleasant smile, and you shook your head at the sweet gesture. “And yes, I've lived long, but not as long as the Prince or Sun Wukong has. I'm afraid there are still many things I am duly unaware of.”

Sun Wukong snickered. “Some more than others, aye, Nezha?”

In response, a golden brick was thrown at the monkey's face. It hit him square on the face, and you gasped as Sun Wukong fell over, holding his face painfully. 

“Nezha!” You scolded the lotus prince and gather your robes to stand and examine the fallen Sage. Aside from the red spot on his forehead, he seemed fine, but still whined about the pain he was in. You glanced at Nezha's pouting expression. “That was not very polite! Don't do that again, understood?”

Nezha relented. “Yes, Lady (Name).” Even when angry she's still as beautiful as the morning sun.

Sun Wukong peeked an eye open. He caught the Lotus Prince's gaze from his position on your lap, and while you focused on soothing his pain, he winked .

Let's just say all hell broke loose after that, and Nezha and Sun Wukong owed you a new palace.

“Nyahaha.”

“Fuck you you stupid fucking cock slobbing whore!”

“Nezha!”

“Sorry, Lady (Name).”

“:3”

Chapter Text

You remembered choking.

Honestly, it was an embarassing way to die, you won't deny it. How humiliating it was when people asked about your demise, anticipating a tragic if not heroic end. And usually, in the fanfics you read, that's how it always go!! Either someone dies by trying to save someone else, or by fucking suicide!! Not this!!! Not by choking on a dumpling while watching the fifth season of your favorite show; Lego Monkie Kid!!

Gods, how embarassing. Even when waking up, the memory of the dumpling stuck in your throat while you flailed wildly, surprised when the plot twist was revealed with the snake villain…gah! Just end you now!

Wait no. You died once. If you died twice again, that would be way worst.

Ah well. You couldn't say you were too disappointed. Though you missed a few things from your old life, your life was just…too boring. You didn't have much friends, your parents were emotionally distant and well, aside from your job, there really wasn't much to your current life. You felt too much like a burden to your parents, so maybe…you could free them of the worries of an unmarried, boring child.

You considered your ‘isekai’ moment as some sort of new start. Your chance to better your life! You didn't anticipate to be a part of anything major, not with your boring self, but the scenery in the Lego Monkie Kid universe wasn't so bad, and surprisingly the people seem nice. Perks of being a children's show, you guessed.

When you had first woken up, lying on the sand of some beach, you were both pleasantly surprised and concerned. It took a few minutes for you to process that you hadn't ended up in some weird coma because you choked to death and that you had, somehow, in some weird fucking way, woken up in the lego world. How did you realize that?

If the lego hands weren't enough of an answer, the green and white blur of a certain female character driving past should've been.

You were fucking isekai’d.

And then you fainted from shock.

When you woke up again, you were lying on a military cot, a thin blanket thrown over your form. There was sunlight from a window to the wall opposite of you, and the sound of clapping and cheering.

While you sat there contemplating your situation, and wondering if you were about to be canon fodder to some demon within the show, a door you hadn't been aware of opened and closed shut. A man wearing a thick black and red robe was standing in front of you. And come on, you're no fool―there was no way in hell you wouldn't know who this particular figure was. You'd have to be pretty stupid not to have recognized his dramatic robes from the second season.

Which reminded you. Where exactly had you fallen in the timeline, if Macaque found you and most possibly brought you to his weird theatre?

“You got a name, kid?” His gruff voice questioned, pulling the hood of his head to glance at you. In his hands was a tray, a simple meal of rice porridge and cut fruits. You accepted the tray awkwardly, wondering if the food would be edible if this was pre-s4/5 Macaque.

“Um. My name is (Name).” You smiled at the monkey demon awkwardly. “And…um…w-who might you be?”

“Macaque. The Six Eared Macaque.” He took a seat on a discarded chair, sharp fangs glinting in what little light it had. “(Name), huh? Well, I found you before you died from a cold, (Name). You were stranded on a beach not far from here.”

Right…that you already figured out.

“I hope you don't mind me asking. Do you have any family or friends to run home too?”

You thought for a moment. You didn't die and end up in any existing character already…..so as far as you knew, you were completely alone in this strange new world. The realization finally dawned on you that though it was a joyous feeling, being in your favorite show, interacting with nice people, there was no way you'd be able to survive. You were human for all you knew too, just some person living in a world with magic, demons and the occasional deity.

“No.” You signed, stirring the porridge. “I'm..alone.”

“You have no one?” Macaque repeated. “No one to turn too for help? Surely, your parents…friends…?”

You shook your head again.

There was a moment of awkward silence. You continued to stir the porridge awkwardly while Macaque possibly thought to himself.

“Alright.” Macaque stood. “It'd be cruel of me to leave someone as young as you to wander off on your own.” You tensed when he walked in your direction, but surprisingly, all he did was gently pat your head. “I'll offer you a deal, kid, since you're already in my debt.”

Please don't ask me to sell my soul.

“Wasn't planning on it.” Ah, you spoke out loud. “Be my apprentice. I'll feed and clothe you and in turn you train under me and help around the theatre here. It'll be a…mutually beneficial relationship.”

Well. You didn't have much of a choice now, did you?

After a moment of thinking, you nodded. There was nothing less to be done than to accept your fate. And hey, as cliche as it was, maybe you can turn Macaque over! Act like the MK to his Sun Wukong, you know?

And that was a lie.

Macaque was not a kind teacher. As the agreement followed, he did feed and clothe you. Hell, you swore he was even giving you your own salary helping him out with the theatre, either cleaning up or sending posters or dealing with guests. He wasn't so bad, that was, outside of training. During training, though, he was an entirely different person.

The first week, he was horrible. You swore you couldn't even repeat the degrading words he had said, every detail embedded in your head. Scolding you for being weak, to put more effort if you truly wanted to learn and be strong. That being weak was for those that were already dead.

It was difficult to think he was an entirely different person outside of training. Usually he would chat or show you things he's made, like puppets or dolls. If he was in a good mood, he'd even put on a puppet show for you, and you'd get to see his ‘The Hero And The Warrior’ tale up close and in person. But, if he was in a bad mood, you were lucky to get a simple grunt before he ignored you.

Between that and when you were alone, you got to explore more of your new world. You found out that his theatre was to the end of the city, so a lot of people would have to travel often to see his plays. After getting lost a few times and finally getting a map you could properly read, you found Pigsy's noodles and decided to pay it a visit.

What was the worst that could possibly happen? And anyways, you were both bored and curious to know where exactly you were in the storyline. Since you were supposed to be Macaque's apprentice now, surely that meant you'd most likely be involved now in the main story, right?

“I keep telling ya MK, you rarely ever focus!”

Ah, that should be an obvious enough an answer. There was an entire episode dedicated to MK's focusing. Erm, episode…6, was it? No, that was the racing episode.

Episode 7, maybe? Ah, yeah, that had to be it.

You dared to peek your head inside, catching sight of the protagonist and his father figure speaking to each other. Or, more like MK was clinging to his dad's leg while Pigsy scolded him with threats of firing him.

Ah, typical Monkie Kid moment. It felt so unreal to be here in person, watching them.

And then MK ran into you. Had you been that dazed out you completely missed him running until he ran smack into you, spilling noodles on the front of your shirt?

“Gah! Are you okay!?” MK spluttered, his eyes wide with panic. “Oh, shit―” Wait, was that normal? Wasn't this a kid's show? Why the fuck― “Fuck, uh.”

“Kid?” Pigsy's voice was heard behind him. “What's the keep u―oh, damn it MK.”

Huh? This is a kid's show! Why are they swearing!?

“I'm sorry!!” MK was whining. You felt his hands on your chest, dabbing away with swabs of paper napkins he must've grabbed from the counter. “Sorry, sorry!!! I'm so sorry, I just―aah!!”

You were to dumbstruck to even question the fact he was so blatantly touching your chest. Not when you were more concerned about the fact they cursed. This was a children's show. Why the fuck were they cursing!? Were they always cursing and it was just obscured because of the children audience it was aimed for!? Huh?!

“Kid, I think you've made it worst.” Pigsy's gruff voice brought you back to reality. You smiled nervously as MK pulled his hands away, wringing them anxiously from the stain he just left behind.

“I'm sorry!!” MK pursed his lips. Though he was never a favorite of yours, you had to admit up close he was kind of cute in the basic anime protagonist way. You wondered what would happen if you pinched his cheeks a bit. Would it be soft to touch? “I-I’ll um, I'll make it up to you! Promise!”

Oh. Right, he spilled noodles on your shirt.

You shook your head, waving off his worry. “No need too. It's fine, it was my fault anyway.” Technically you weren't wrong. You weren't paying attention, and how was MK supposed to know someone was kinda attempting to spy on him. “But uh….” You glanced at the sticky wet stain. “I don't suppose you have anything I can borrow…?”

MK perked up. He looked pleased you weren't yelling at him, nor demanding some form of payment that would probably give Pigsy a heart attack. He nodded quickly, fluffy brown hair growing even messier from his actions. Holy shit, was it as soft as it looked? Would it feel nice??

“I've got a spare shirt upstairs!” He exclaimed, once again interrupting your thoughts. “My friend leaves her clothes behind, there should be one that fits you! Gimme a sec―”

Oh, he was gone. You were going to tell him not to bother, it'd be too weird wearing his best friend's shirt….

Waiting in awkward silence, you glanced at Pigsy, who had crossed his arms opposite of you. He raised his head and caught your gaze, making you look away.

“You must be new around these parts,” the pig demon remarked, causing you to stiffen. “I don't think I recognize ya, kid. Got a name?”

Er….well.

“(Name).” It'd be pointless to lie about yourself. And anyway, if you chose the name of a character that was probably already in the series, it'd make one hell of a scenario. Too embarassing anyway. “Umm. You must be Pigsy, the owner of this er…fine establishment?”

The pig demon snorted, “As if the name isn't obvious enough.” You flinched, anticipating him to be rude, but who knew he was merely being sarcastic and teasing you. He shook his head at your expression, chuckling, “I'm pulling ya’ leg kid. Yeah, that's me. What brings ya’ here anyway?”

Before you could respond, the sound of someone falling down a flight of stairs, and a certain noodle boy reappeared with a clean, green and white T-shirt in his hands. He smiled bashfully, apologizing for his absence and shoved the cloth into your hands abruptly.

“So you won't have to wear a dirty one!” He exclaimed with his signature grin. “And my apology! It should be closer to your size…I think….”

The noodle boy trailed off, staring at your chest for a moment. You followed his gaze and blinked.

“I…eh?”

Instead of blushing like he was caught in the act, MK scratched his chin thoughtfully. He didn't come off as a pervert to you, merely concerned and almost confused.

“Kid. Ya staring too much.”

“Oh.” MK blinked. “Oh, my bad! Sorry, I just didn't know if you'd be comfortable wearing anything too small. If it doesn't fit, do you want mine?”

You knew he meant well, but you did feel slightly offended. You weren't that big, were you?

“Kid.” Pigsy sounded mildly exhausted. It seemed like it wasn't the first time the noodle boy had been a bit too blunt with his words. “I think ya should stop talking.”

“I didn't say anything bad this time!! Did I?!”

You and Pigsy exchanged a mutual stare, shaking your heads at the remark. He gestured towards the customer bathrooms for you to change, but when you returned MK had long since left for his job and typical adventure of the week. As a form of apology, Pigsy gave you a free bowl of noodles and invited you to return at any point for your cleaned shirt, which he insisted you leave behind for MK to wash.

You weren't sure if Macaque was pleased when you explained where you had gotten the noodles, or disappointed. By his tone and appearance, he didn't seem offended. If anything he seemed quite satisfied with your remark while you split your noodles with him, and he remarked, strangely, “That MK's a good kid. You can befriend him if you want.”

You paused mid-swallow, unsure of what to say. Macaque chuckled at your expression and patted your head.

“It's fine,” he said with a grin. “Just ‘cause I hate his mentor, doesn't mean I'll stop you from having friends of your own.” He stole a piece of meat from you. “Just as long as you don't pull a bitch move and abandon your mentor. I'd feel so heartbroken, y'know?”

There was something about his tone, that brief sarcastic comment paired with his saccharine smile that made you flinch. Still, you nodded, assuring him that you'd never abandon him.

It's not like you had anyone else anyway.

An unlikely friendship formed between you and the hero.

You returned to the noodle shop once your training with Macaque was completed, hoping to return Mei's shirt and retrieve your original one. Pigsy greeted you at the door, offering you to take a seat while MK returned from another one of his monster of the week adventures. Pigsy wasn't so bad, though you were surprised to see Tang absent. Then again, maybe the scholar was just busy―he didn't appear in every episode after all.

“Oh, Piggy! Tangy is dea―” Mei was the first to barge into the noodle shop, her eyes wide. Seeing her up close and in person, you were practically shocked at how pretty she was. You thought the Mei fans had been exaggerating, but no. The dragon girl was just as pretty if not more, and when she flashed you a grin you swore you might be a little bit queer. “Whoa! Cute girl!”

“Mei, what the hell?” You still couldn't get used to them swearing. Pigsy threw a spoon at the dragon girl, which she managed to duck. Unfortunately, the person behind her, MK, was the victim of the spoon, and he collapsed with a cry. “Just ignore her, she's always weird.”

You smiled, nodding while Mei protested against the comment. She took a seat on the stool next to you, offering her hand.

“Oh! You're the girl MK was telling me about!” Mei exclaimed as you introduced yourself. You were surprised MK would even bother speaking about you, who was pretty much an NPC at this point, but at the same time, being noticed by the protagonist was a pleasant feeling, wasn't it? “Did my shirt fit you or was your boobies to big?”

You heard MK choke at the remark, and when you glanced at him he looked ashamed.

“I didn't say that,” he quickly defended, throwing himself at Mei to stop her from sharing any more embarassing comments. “I-I just said that the shirt was too small!! I swear!! I didn't mean anything like that!!”

You smiled awkwardly. “It's fine. I'm sure it was an accident.”

The dragon girl merely sighed. You didn't miss the look she flashed at her friend, and as if they had some sort of telepathic ability, MK returned her look with his own. You were in awe at their silence conversation, and you had no problem merely observing them like animals in a zoo.

Ah, wait…there are animals here…oops.

“Sure. Accident.” Mei scoffed under her breath, turning her attention back to you. “Soooo~ cute gal. Did I tell you how cute you were?”

Basically. “You mentioned it, yes.”

“Good. ‘Cause you are.” The dragon girl pinched your cheek. The action made you wince, reminiscent of how Macaque tended to be, always pinching your face on occasion, but Mei's hands were gentler and less likely to make you tear up. She released your cheek after a while, arm still slung around your shoulders while she continued on, “(Name), (Name)...huh. You know, I actually don't think I've ever met you either.”

Without thinking, you sighed in relief. For what it was worth, you were still feeling jittery at the idea of being recognized by someone. After all, who's not to say you hadn't just ended up in a random NPC’s body that just happened to resemble you? The universe worked in mysterious ways, and you'd really not want that chance of being recognized. Even if it wouldn't be a major problem plot-wise, you'd rather not have to deal with the nagging feeling you were in someone else's body.

So, hearing one of the most sociable characters in the show admit to never meeting you before made you all the more relieved. If you could clap your hands, you really would at that moment.

MK had taken a seat on the opposite side of you, leaving you trapped between him and his best friend.

It…was a bit odd, you wouldn't lie. There was an empty seat next to Mei, so why choose to sit next to you of all places? Wouldn't it be easier to sit with his friend?

“Oh, yeah. I don't think you mentioned where you're from?” Pigsy had long since left for the kitchen, so you knew that question had been from MK. It was cute that Pigsy had chosen to mention something trivial you said to his kid, but you'd also hate having to be asked and make up a lie on the spot.

You thought for a moment, then nodded. “I didn't think it was important. My family moved here for some business stuff.”

Mei seemed to perk up at that. “Oh, you're a foreigner? That's so cool! Where are you from!?”

“Um….”

“Right. Right.” The dragon girl relaxed, her lips parted in a laugh. She waved off your nervous expression, “Sorry ‘bout that. Didn't mean to pry. But that's pretty cool.”

“It definitely is.” MK grinned next to you. “Traveling around like that sounds fun. How do you like the city so far? Have you seen the cheese tea stalls?”

They're actually called cheese tea stalls!? You sweatdropped, trying to imagine what tea would taste like with actual cheese in it. The combination in your head made you mentally gag, but with a smile on your face you merely nodded. Macaque had taught you well, even if not directly, so you'd consider yourself a pro at masking your feelings.

“Ah.” Was it just you, or did MK sound disappointed at that?

And yet, not only a few seconds later, his expression had brightened once again.

You spent at least three hours at the noodle shop, listening to MK and Mei ask you questions and share the wildest stories.

For some reason, MK always seemed to look for your opinion on something. You put it off as merely him hoping to impress a new friend he's made, as a newly turned hero.

You sat with Macaque once again for dinner.

Almost half a year had passed since you had arrived in this new world. Surprisingly, an unlikely friendship had formed between yourself and the dragon girl and monkey boy duo.

You didn't think something like that would've happened in over a million years. Someone like you, befriending people as fun and kind as Mei and MK? You'd have to either be high or dreaming.

But, you didn't mind it either way. They were fun to be around, and more often than not, they'd invite you on their hangouts. Especially that MK, who was always ready to pull you into an adventure with him.

You had to admit, you've grown quite fond of him over the past few months.

And as for Macaque…

You glanced at the simian. Though you'd like to think you two had grown closer, there was still a barrier that kept you at arms length. At this point, you assumed Wukong's supposed betrayal was still fresh on his mind after all these years, and so even if he was nicer to you, he never once actually attempted to draw you closer.

So disappointing…

You chewed on your chopsticks thoughtfully.

Over time, you've tried not to interfere with the canon plot too much. So, even when that particular episode regarding the key to unlocking the Bone Demon's tomb happened (cough, s1 episode 8), you didn't intervene. You didn't warn MK that he was toying with the very object that would change his life forever, nor did you warn him about the creepy Mayor guy.

Speaking of him…there's something really off-putting about that guy. It's like he knows something I don't. You frowned to yourself, recalling that particular interaction. Though you didn't do much, the Mayor had still been watching you.

“It would be my deepest pleasure to meet little miss once again,” he had said, oddly charming in a particularly creepy way. “So until we next meet, farewell~!”

Agh, whatever. It was canon he was total nutcase anyway, you shouldn't be worried about that.

What you were worried about though, was the episode where Macaque would meet MK. As much as you loved him as your favorite character, you couldn't deny that he had as much of a role to MK's trauma as the other villains did.

And with how fond you were of MK currently, you had to admit; hurting him just to spite Wukong was genuinely too far. When all was said and done, hating your ex best friend was fine, but there was no need to pull innocent people into the crossfire. MK might not have dwelled on it anymore, but the interactions he had with Macaque and later on Azure…it definitely fucked him up, didn't it?

Sigh. Though you knew this had to happen for plot's sake, you really wished it didn't have to happen. You didn't think you could bare to witness this scene upclose and in person, so you wondered if you should take Mei on that offer to leave the city for a few days…

“So, you and that MK boy are close now, hm?” When you raised your head, Macaque caught your gaze and grinned. He was sipping from a can of fizzy drink, something you'd never expect from him of all people, and occasionally would glance at you. He raised a brow, “You turned into a beaver, kid? You're chewing those chopsticks for so long.”

Embarrassed, you pulled the chopsticks out of your mouth. The ends were covered in your spit and bite marks, and you cried in your heart at the damage. How embarassing…

“Um. Yeah. Guess we are now.” You shoveled cold noodles into your mouth again, hiding your embarrassment. Until you choked and had to take a break, coughing and chewing soggy noodles.

Macaque slid a can to you, already opened. You accepted it with a nod, relieved at the sugary taste that freed your clogged throat.

He was speaking again. “I've been thinking. The kid looks like he needs some extra training, you know? I mean, looking at his fighting moves….something tells me that teacher of his hasn't been doing jackshit for him. Just shoved a big staff into his hands and told him to go crazy.”

If you didn't know Macaque's character in season one, you would've thought he was genuinely concerned. Though his words were criticism at Wukong, there was no warmth or genuinity in them, only a type of bluntness intended to hit home.

You stared at your can thoughtfully. Would he ask you to help him manipulate MK? Would you have to lie to him?

“Hey. Have you ever taken a break since you became my apprentice?” Macaque threw his empty can into a wastebasket, yet his gaze was still on you.

You blinked. You hadn't taken a break since you joined this world, and that been well over six months now.

Where was he going with this?

“I think you deserve a break,” he concluded and leaned back against his chair. “Spend a few weeks outside the city. It'd do you some good. I'll arrange some things for you, ‘kay? Maybe even hook you up with one of my pals to continue your training.”

Oh. Macaque hadn't sent you out of the city with good intentions. He'd sent you so you wouldn't be a hindrance to his plans―you liked MK, that much he knew. His six ears could pick up on the way you brightened around the kid, and he was well aware of the signs of affection. You adored him as he did you, but you were too stubborn to admit it.

Sure, there were some things about you that confused him. He couldn't hear anything from your past, as if it were a blank slate. No childhood, no recollection of a time before you came across him. It was if something was purposely stopping him from hearing beyond that first meeting between you both.

But to Macaque, that was fine. A hindrance, but fine. He would work with it.

As long as you weren't there to warn MK, to push him away from Macaque. As long as you weren't there to disrupt the natural flow of fate.

Macaque boredly nudged the fallen hero's face, a malicious smile on his lips. How the mighty had fallen, just a child with a heavy stick. And where was his mentor now?

“You know, it's a shame my student likes you so much,” he said, almost mockingly, and grabbed MK's chin. The little bastard tried to glare, his body weak from the sudden withdrawal of power within him. Good. “You know, she likes you so much. Thinks you're such a cool guy.”

MK's eyes seemed to narrow. His interest was piqued.

Good.

“(Name)...ah yes. She likes you so much, you know? Even told me not to go too hard on you and your fragile heart.” Macaque's smile merely widened. The longer he yapped some nonsense, the more this naive little hero bought into it.

Ah, that would be the death of him. What a foolish child, helplessly ready to believe what words were spoken. That would never do him any good.

Not that Macaque cared. Watching that look of betrayal flash across his face, the fight he had left fading…

Even when Wukong had stepped in, and he had suffered a bitter defeat, Macaque thought it had all been worth it.

You knew something was wrong the moment you returned to the city.

Maybe the plot had gone wrong. Maybe Macaque didn't betray MK because you had been his student? Maybe MK hadn't fallen fool to Macaque's charming words?

….

The city was fine. MK was fine.

When you stopped at the noodle shop, you were wholly surprised to see MK there. Aside from a bandage wrapped around his neck, he was fine. Laughing with his best friend, bothering Pigsy.

He was fine.

“Oh! (Name)!” Mei leaned over the counter, waving at you excitedly. You flinched at the attention, sparing the noodle boy a glance.

The smile he had been wearing fell. He wasn't looking at you with the same gentleness he had just only three weeks ago. Now, he looked wary, and upset.

Your blood felt cold in your veins.

Had Macaque done something?

“Hello? Earth to (Name)?” Mei gently racked her knuckles against your head. “Girl, you okay there? Did that three week vacay turn your brain into jelly?”

You tore your gaze away from MK.

Whatever it was Macaque had done, you needed to fix it.

At least, to explain yourself…

And surely, MK would listen to you…right?

MK's staff felt heavy against your chest. You knew this staff had once been a pillar in the dragon king's palace, but holy shit the show did not put enough emphasis on how heavy this staff was. The baddies that had to face the opposite end either had more plot armor than the protagonist, or fucking balls of steel.

Mind you, this was MK only allowing you to feel a quarter of it's actual weight. You figured he wasn't mad enough to crush you under it, given that he was still holding the staff above you with a conflicted expression.

You hadn't anticipated he would've followed you back to Macaque's dojo, which had long since been abandoned from his defeat. You hadn't anticipated he would've attacked you, if only to test something…

“He was right,” he muttered, caging you against the wall at the back of the building. “You…you're his student?”

Was, you thought, recalling the shadow powers you'd used to escape him. Now though…

“MK, I―”

“No. Don't you even.” You snapped your mouth shut at his remark. His eyes were glazed over, and you swore if he blinked, he would actually cry. As it stood, he merely glared at you, his expression flitting from angry, to upset, to hurt, and repeated the cycle. “You…you fucking lied. You…you were just pretending to be my friend!?”

You stayed silent.

MK laughed in disbelief.

“You won't even try. You…why?” The weight on your chest was lifted. MK's staff disappeared, but he still kept you caged between his arms, his shoulders sagging. “Why do this? Pretend to be my friend? Made me like you―” Your heart broke at the way his voice cracked. “You…you just…you lied. You lied and said I was your friend. Lied and pretended to be my friend, pretended to like me in turn, only for it to be all an act?? Why? What could Macaque have offered for you…to…to do this!?”

You heard him sniffle. “Fuck. You won't even defend yourself. Won't you lie and tell me I'm wrong?”

“But you are.”

MK raised his head.

Oh, you hated this. He looked so heartbroken. The tears had spilled, staining his cheeks. He looked so sad, and you hated this. You hated seeing him cry like this.

“I…never lied to you,” you mumbled, looking at your feet. “I did. Like being your friend. I liked…being with you. I never…I never wanted to hurt you, MK. I swear. I've always liked you. I wanted to be your friend, I liked you.”

But Macaque…

“I didn't know what Macaque was planning.” A lie. “But I never intended to hurt you, MK. You can hate me for what Macaque did, but I never wanted you to get hurt.” At least, not to this extent….

You raised your head to see MK still staring at you. His eyes wide in shock (hopefully not horror), and he looked…confused.

You never really noticed how cute he looked, all confused and lost. You wanted to pinch his cheeks.

So you did. You reached up, and squeezed his cheek between your hands. MK didn't stop you, too surprised, and you took advantage of it―squeezing and smushing, watching how red they became from your actions.

I don't like it when you cry. I really don't. If this is how hurt you are, I'll never do it again. I'll never let you cry again.

MK's hands grabbed your wrists. You stilled, expecting him to be angry, but he only pinned your hands to the wall.

“Prove it.”

“Huh?”

MK pursed his lips. The corners of his eyes were still red from crying, and his gaze had darted from your eyes, and then lower.

“You…you have to prove that you mean it,” he said, finally. “That…that Macaque was lying. You have to prove you're telling the truth.”

MK, aren't you sounding like a child right now?

You paused, but nodded. “I don't mind. But how am I supposed to prove that?”

MK stared at you so hard and for so long, you had to look away with shame. Why did it feel like he was implying something here…?

A hand cupped your boobs. You blinked when MK gave it a light squeeze.

….. ISN'T THIS SHOW RATED FOR KIDS!? WHAT THE FUCK!?

Note to future self: fucking in alleyways are very unhygienic and also just uncomfortable in general.

Other note to future self: you somehow gave Qi fucking Xiaotian a boob kink.

No, you weren't joking. MK had looked at you so pleadingly and helplessly that of course, you had to yield to his request. You liked him, he liked you, and if this meant he would trust you again and mend the bond Macaque had broken, then so be it. You'd fuck in one thousand alleyways if it meant MK would trust you again.

You just really hoped you wouldn't have too, though. Alleyways were weird.

And, you figured not to question this situation.

You ran your hands through MK's hair, sitting atop the tuktuk MK had parked in the same alleyway. Though you itched to pull his bandanna off, you decided not to. If only because when you had tried before, MK had looked at you with heartbroken eyes, and you didn't like seeing him upset.

His hand slid down the front of your pants, pushing your panties to the side. Your body tensed, and you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth when his fingers rubbed against your folds, following the same rhythm as his hand occupied with your breast.

Look. You were a total loser in your old life, okay? And in this one, you never bothered with dating.

So, of course, you're a total fucking virgin. The closest experience you had with anything porn related was fanfiction, and everyone knows fanfiction is never realistic!!

So, of course, you were embarrassed and completely tense, even when MK assured you not to be.

A fucking cartoon character is more experienced than me. A. Fucking. CHILDREN'S SHOW MAIN CHARACTER. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL!? You cried in your heart, but flashed MK an awkward smile nonetheless. He grinned at you, before his lips latched onto your nipple he'd been teasing. At the same time, his fingers had found your hole dripping with anticipation, gently pushing a finger inside.

Fanfiction did not prepare you for any of this. You thought you would faint from actually experiencing this the first time….agh…

MK's tongue was wet against your tit. He squeezed and fondled the soft flesh, dragging his tongue against your perked bud with leisure. His other hand gently pumped through your walls, slow, at first, until he added a second finger, and the base of his palm pressed against your clit.

Ugh, this was awkward. You slapped a hand over your mouth, hiding your embarassing fucking noises, and hopefully your own burning expression.

Oh god, what if I get sent back home? The fuck am I gonna tell my parents!? “Hey Mom and Dad, I lost my virginity to a fucking fictional character, no big deal!” Bah!!

Sharp teeth grazed against your tender bud, and the slight burning sensation from MK's fingers inside your cunt gave way to the slightest bit of pleasure, slick easing his movements. You felt yourself squirming against his hand, unsure if you wanted to pull away when his fingers curled against a spot that made you dizzy, or push into him for more.

The noodle boy released your tit with a wet pop, saliva connecting his lips to your breast. If it had been in any other situation, you wouldn't have mind to say it was borderline lewd, but this was real and it involved you, so naturally, you looked away in embarrassment. You heard MK laughing at your reaction, his palm applying pressure to your puffy clit, seeming to find your jolts and muffled whines amusing.

His free hand tugged on your pants, pulling them lower to your ankles. He settled himself lower between your legs, and your panties were pushed higher and his head lower.

You stiffened when his warm breath brushed against your cunt, your fingers still pumping in your hole.

“...hey, wait a sec―” Your hands landed on his head. “Aren't we…I mean you're…we really shouldn't―”

MK pouted, swatting your hand away. “I thought you said you wanted to prove yourself?”

You sneaky little bastard. “Not to this extent!”

“(Name), you're fine.” As if he to prove his point, his tongue swiped leisurely against your folds. You stiffened, feeling your face grow so fucking hot―was that a fucking piercing!? “Don't be scared. Or embarrassed if you're a virgin. I'll take good care of you.”

My brother in Christ you are a fucking lego character I'm more concerned on how either of us has the body part for thi―

MK's lips latched onto your puffy clit, sucking on the tender bundle of nerves. His hand gripped your thighs, holding you close while his fingers quickened and thrusted into your cunt, pressing against the soft spot that left your knees completely weak.

You didn't want to make any noise. You really didn't!

But when MK's tongue flicked your clit, the cold piercing a stark contrast against the warmth, and his mouth worked in rhythm with his fingers…

It wasn't your fault those noises slipped out. You mewled and pushed against him, gasping at the sensation.

You'd question how the fuck MK had a tongue piercing and experience in sex after you were finished.

If you remembered, that was.

MK's fingers suddenly pulled out of you, leaving you clenching around nothing. His tongued dragged languidly against your messy folds before he pulled away, your juices dribbling down his chin. He kept eye contact with you, propping his fingers between his lips to lick them clean…

Wtf…

“Okay! I think that's enough!” MK sat up abruptly and helped pulled off the rest of your clothing. You spluttered, trying to argue because of the very fun fact of you both being in public still, but apparently, the fucking Monkie Kid had no sense of shame or dignity. He simply flipped you onto your stomach, and your hands pulled behind your back and then tied with something…

Wait. “...did you just tie my wrists with your bandanna?”

“Yuh huh.” Gods, how could he sound so innocent after eating you out? “It's hot. I've always imagined tying you up with it, you know?”

You made a face at that. Did I also give him a bondage kink? Oh boy…

MK's chest pressed against yours, placing a chaste kiss to your cheek when he pushed himself inside you, causing you to burrow your face against the seats.

Fuck. I'm losing my fucking virginity to a cartoon character. Oh, isn't that fan-fucking-tastic. And he's fucking big, what the actual fuck. Why is he big? How does he even have a dick?? He's a LEGO.

Oh wait, this doesn't hurt that badly. Fucking fanfiction ass logic.

“(Name)?” You heard MK's voice filled with concern. “Do you want me to move? Or stop? We can stop―”

If your hands weren't tied behind your back, you knew for a fact you would be strangling him. There was no fucking way he got you into this situation only to fucking pussy out because of concern. You might be a virgin but you're no coward.

Probably.

“You can move.” You grumbled against your better judgement. “Just…be gentle.”

“I am gentle.” MK laughed in your ear. His lips pressed into another kiss against your temple, and his hips slowly rocked against yours, allowing you to adjust to the feeling. He pulled back slightly, just enough to snap his hips back in place in a slow thrust.

The first thing you thought was, Wow, this is weird.

Then you also thought, This really doesn't hurt as much as it should…

Maybe you were just weird, but MK huffing and moaning in your ear was…kinda hot, you wouldn't lie. Those whimper edit audios were tame in comparison to the noises he was making right now.

With your hands behind your back and tied, you couldn't do much but squirm in place with each of his thrusts. His hand pushed your head further against the leather seats, bottoming out fully against you. The wet sounds of his cock inside you filled the night air, and you had to muffle your own noises for your own dignity.

MK's pace quickly picked up speed, taking your muffled cried as a sign to keep going. His pelvis smacked against your ass, his cock stretching your walls and hitting angles you weren't even aware of and leaving you to drool against the seats of his tuktuk.

“You…you better promise not to leave me,” you heard MK mumble against you. “You can't leave me, okay? ‘cause you promised―” His cock kissed your cervix, making your toes curl and your pussy clench around him. “And you…you would keep your promises, right?”

You really needed your hands untied. “I do,” you promised, fighting back another moan. “‘promise not to make you cry again, ‘kay? Pinkie promi..mmph!”

MK angled your head back, slamming his lips against yours. His teeth grazed at your lower lip and sucked at your tongue, swallowing your cry when the strange feeling in your stomach snapped, cumming under his cock. His hips continued to snap against yours, each thrust feverish and driving you mad with stimulation.

It wasn't until MK had finally cum, collapsing on top of you on the seat, did he pull away from the kiss, and your brain return to normal.

How sticky…and your arms were beginning to ache from this position. You tried to turn on your side, but MK simply wrapped his arms around you and grumbled under his breath.

“Are you planning on leaving me again?” He asked, and you could practically hear the pout in his voice. How the fuck was he acting like the deflowered maiden here, when the one who just lost their virginity was you!?

“I…no.” You sighed, squirming in his hold. “My hands hurt though, so lemme go.”

“No.”

“....MK…”

“In a minute.”

“MK you came inside.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Fuck you mean oh yeah you tryna knock me up?”

“....”

“Oh my god I gave him a breeding kink too.”

“A what?”

“Nothing.”

Chapter Text

SFW :

𐙚 Dating Nezha includes having to deal with him go through a whole character arc while processing his feelings. Everyone but Nezha knows he's in love, so it takes a long, and I mean a long time for him to realize he's in love with you, and an even longer time for him to have the courage to confess. Or you can do what Wukong says and just be the first one to confess if you're impatient. That works too, I guess.

𐙚 Greenest flag boyfriend right there. He memorizes everything about you, from your favorite color to that one thing you mentioned from your childhood. He's not uncomfortable buying anything you ask for and is the happiest man alive to follow you wherever you go.

𐙚 Of course, dating Nezha means also dealing with his older brothers (and a rare Erlang at times.) Come on, you don't actually think they'd spare him, do you? What are older siblings for if not to embarrass their sibling to the point of melting?? Expect to see a bunch of paintings of him as a baby or even stories of his childhood and during the war. You might even see Deng Changyu ready to tell the great tale of the time she threw a rock at his head and broke his nose. Good times.

𐙚 Projecting on Nezha here but lord help the man because he's as loyal as a dog. If you went to hell, he'll follow you. You ask him to bark, and he would. He doesn't really love much (hehe aroace Nezha canon) but when he does in fact love, it's with one person and for life. Expect him to never leave you.

𐙚 He would also be the type of boyfriend to ask if you would love him if he was a worm. Yeah, the roles are reversed and he's a bit insecure, so please say yes. (If you were the one asking, he'd go off on a long story about how he'd learn about worms and create a kingdom of worms for you to command and make you immortal and shit. All with a straight fucking face.)

𐙚 He's pretty thin faced so while he does always appear pretty stoic and aloof, he does blush pretty easily. You flash him a smile? Red face. You laugh? Red face. You so much as look at him? Yep, you guessed it, red face.

𐙚 100% is the type to swoon on the spot. Full on blushing expression, heart eyes, dilated pupils, hand clutching his chest while Cupid's arrow pierces his poor beating heart. You could do so much as glance at him and he's in love with you over and over.

𐙚 I would like to think in whatever universe you and him exist together, he would always love you. He thinks he's incapable of being in love with anyone else, or for that matter, having anyone else to love.

𐙚 He lies awake at night dreaming of you. There's never a moment in his life where he stops thinking about you. There's probably even a picture frame with you that he holds and falls asleep with.

𐙚 I can see him being easily jealous if your attention isn't exactly on him, but he knows it's bad to think like that, so he wouldn't ever speak up or act on his feelings. You'd have to figure it out for yourself to understand why he's so moody sometimes. He'd much rather keep such feelings and thoughts to himself, because you do love him, and you aren't obliged to give him all of your attention, so what gives him the right to be jealous, right?

𐙚 His love language is probably gift giving. I'm not sure he's the type to feel comfortable with things like hugging at the beginning of a relationship, and even then things like that need to be kept behind doors. Maybe the occasional handholding sure, but definitely nothing to intimate in public, so…gift giving it is. Be it something silly as a new dress you might've mentioned, or a keychain you like. Hell, even merch if you're a fan girl. If you're happy then he's happy.

𐙚 Like I said, he's not too into PDA, but that doesn't mean he's not affectionate. Once the relationship feels steady, over the course of time, Nezha would occasionally give you kisses or hugs behind closed doors. If you move in together, he'd ask for a kiss from you every morning before he leaves.

𐙚 He's the type to have your future all planned out together. Every piece of his schedule eventually begins to involve you, in some form or manner. He can never stop thinking about you, and I can see him always trying to include you in anything he does, just so you're aware that he does love you, and he does appreciate you for loving someone like him.

𐙚 “Ah, (Name). They're so pretty…” “Gay.” “GET OUT OF MY ROOM JINZHA!”

𐙚 I can't see him introducing you to Li Jing. Even after things in season 5 have happened, he just can not introduce you to his father without being reminded of their past. He most likely would introduce you to his mother though, and she would adore you dearly.

NSFW ;

𐙚 Let's get one thing straight; you are Nezha’s first time. Before your relationship, he's never had an interest in anyone, romantic or sexual. His feelings had always been platonic or familial with people, if not estranged. You were his first love and by extension his first time, and he cherishes that dearly.

𐙚 Getting that out of the way, that man is incredibly pent up and horny. He literally has so much fucking duties to handle on a daily basis and I highly doubt he's ever been given a break for once in his goddamn life. Having a partner is probably the first time he's ever gotten the opportunity to relax and destress, and by the gods does he take advantage of it. (Always respects your boundaries though. My man would never do anything you're uncomfortable with.)

𐙚 Where did he get the experience? No idea, but he's a god so…yeah, he's a pretty fast learner. Especially if you're not a virgin.

𐙚 Now, Nezha. You know he's a strange guy, definitely not one to judge―he has a thigh kink. Yeah, that's right. Your thighs are his lifeline and if he can sink his teeth into them everyday then god forbid he would. He just wants you to wrap your legs around his head while he goes to town on you, eating you out like a starved man. If you get an inner thigh tattoo that just so happens to be a lotus flower then expect not to walk for days, because he is going to worship your lower body and probably eat you out till you're passed out.

𐙚 Hm…I can see him kinda being into the idea of a womb tattoo? But the author has no idea how that works so imagine the first time he fucks you it just appears on your lower stomach and the lotus patterns are so fucking hot he fucks you into another orgasm because that womb tattoo is from him, okay!?

𐙚 Look. He has a lot of parent issues, okay? He definitely has some sort of lactation kink that follows a breeding kink. Just, man. The idea of knocking you up with his kids is really fucking hot, and he thinks he can be a better father than his dad and prove he's better and well. One cannot blame a man for his kinks, okay?

𐙚 But yes, he does in fact think of knocking you up everyday and the idea of your tits with milk is kinda hot.

𐙚 Honestly though even if he doesn't get you pregnant, he's still obsessed with your tits. Squishy and soft, all for him to bury his head between and suck and bite while fucking you raw.

𐙚 Oh yeah, he's definitely a traditional type of guy. Missionary style all the way haha (he's not gonna look you in the face fot a while though. He's too embarassed about his actions in the bedroom.) But he might also find a mating press position rather interesting, the angles he could reach….

𐙚 100% ties you up with his armillary sash. Yes, I cannot be a Nezha simp without even thinking of him tying you up with his sash at any point. If you're into it, he might even have you all tied up with a vibrator strapped to you in his room until he returns from whatever he's got to do. I tell ya, that man is horny horny.

𐙚 Hm, can see him liking oral whichever direction it goes. He doesn't mind eating you out, but he also doesn't mind if you blow him. He thinks it's hot with your lips wrapped around his dick and tears in your eyes while you fuck yourself on him.

𐙚 He can be gentle if you ask, but I'd like to think 99% of the time he's just rough as fuck. Manhandling you if you like it, and fucking you until you pass out, and he's got the stamina to keep going until dawn. If it's a particularly stressful day though, he might be more into taking care of you (or you him, don't be fooled.) and making you feel good to forget your worries.

𐙚 Oh and he probably likes handjobs. Please jerk him off while he buries his face into your tits, he's just a silly guy.

𐙚 10/10 dick. Would recommend. Probably.

Chapter Text

SFW:

𐙚 Full honesty, I think he's an absolute asshole at the beginning of a relationship. Not out of spite or anything, but given that he was once a prince, and is seemingly used to getting what he wants, I can see him being a prick towards others, even someone he likes.

𐙚 Again, not in a spiteful way, but rather in the same way some kids might've bullied their crushes when they were younger. It doesn't make it okay though, and when Xiangliu realizes he's hurting your feelings, he genuinely brings a stop to it, because he does like you and he does want the best for you.

𐙚 I mean, he's still cocky though. He does have an ego like the Monkey King. I can see him finding it funny to teasing you a bit, poking your pouting cheeks and commenting how adorable you look when you're mad.

𐙚 Dating him also means you're gonna have to deal with him being protective as fuck. Maybe not borderline controlling, but he's the type of partner to worry if you're not with him. If he has a phone, he'll call you and if he can't call you he tries to look around for you. Most likely, if he was given a choice, Xiangliu would follow you everywhere to make sure you're okay.

𐙚 While I don't think he'd listen to you regardless of what you say, he does value your opinions. Maybe he might not listen if you ask him no to bring about the whole chaos business, but he considers what you've said to him, and might even think you're right. It'll have to depend if he actually decides not to go through with his plans, or to go through with them without hurting anyone else for your sake.

𐙚 If you sneeze, just know that Xiangliu can sense it from halfway across the three realms. He has a sense that tells him something is wrong with you.

𐙚 Please let him hold your hand and kiss you in public. Grant him the opportunity to get your name tattooed somewhere on his body so everyone can know he's taken, thank you.

𐙚 He's been married before yeah, but you're by far the first partner Xiangliu genuinely adores. You're just so amazing like that.

𐙚 Xiangliu is the type of guy to be so rude to anyone that flirts with you or him intentionally. What do you mean, the other partner doesn't need to know, or there's no ring on your finger, so therefore you have no partner? What do you mean, you think we're family and not dating?? He'll be so rude in the most polite way possible that when he's done, whoever is flirting with you or him will never be able to find the face to flirt again. You don't mess with Xiangliu and his pookie bro.

𐙚 Oh, speaking of which; he definitely calls you a bunch of weird nicknames. Some are sweet but others…are just insane.

𐙚 “Oh, my pookie wookie snookie bear.” “Now now my darling bumpkin―” “🥺 my favorite espresso with whip cream.” “Stay away from my omega, bitch.”

𐙚 Listen, I refuse to believe he doesn't know of slang and brain rot. You expect me to believe he was trapped in the mortal realm for so fucking long that the only thing to stop him from going insane wasn't to learn about mortal habits?? That fucker is worst than a gen alpha.

𐙚 If he has a phone, expect to see fanfiction. Somewhere out there, he's written a fanfic of the two of you in a highschool setting. I'm not kidding.

NSFW;

𐙚 This man was a prince and let me assure you by saying he definitely had women (and men, who knows) at his feet. Hundreds of consorts, and even a wife at his beck and call. I refuse to believe he doesn't have experience. Even without the countless admirers and wives he had, there was just no way the tutors with his previous identity hadn't taught him for the day he would be wed.

𐙚 So, with that out of the way, let me assure you by stating; outside of the bedroom, Xiangliu is overall a pretty sweet boyfriend. Yes, he can be cocky and eccentric at times, but he's also overprotective and values your safety. Inside the bedroom, he's an absolute menace. He will fuck and tease you until you're sobbing into the pillows, and all he has to say in response is, “Oh my darling, the fun has only just started. No need to cry~” like an absolute dick.

𐙚 He will literally torture you in any way possible. Fingering you until you're so close only to stop and leave you crying, tying you up with a vibrator to your puffy clit, adjusting the settings so it's just not enough for you to cum, whispering degrading things into your ear until you can only press your legs together yet never find any relief because he's suddenly ‘busy.’ Safe to say, he takes great pride in seeing you turn into a mess.

𐙚 I think he'd like to bite you if you allow him too. Neck, shoulders, thighs―if he sees any part of you bare, he wants to sink his teeth into your skin. This isn't even sexual, but it does happen often during sex while he's fucking you. Maybe while eating you out his teeth bites your inner thigh, relishing in the sight of his teeth marked into your skin. Or maybe if your back is against him while he fucks from behind he'll bite your shoulder and leave a nice mark for anyone to see. Or maybe your neck, on the rare occasion, right where your pulse is located, the mere idea that you're completely at his mercy spurring him on.

𐙚 Probably blindfolds you too if he's feeling extra evil. The fact you have no idea what he could be planning cause you can't see shit, completely tense on guard, it's just so fun. You're right where he wants you to be, and he'd by lying if he said it wasn't fun.

𐙚 On the rarest of occasions, he might spice things up a bit, probably by bringing in some candles. Xiangliu likes creating patterns on your body from the melted wax, but he's careful not to burn you with the dripping wax against your back, only for him to take his ever-so gentle time peeling them off right after, dragging his hands against the tender skin while he fucks into you from behind.

𐙚 Xiangliu seems like a pretty kinky guy honestly. He probably has a world of kinks (none gross) that he wants to try on you, and a wide variety of positions he wants you in. Doggystyle is fine, but he might also like the idea of fucking you in a nelson position, his arms holding up your legs to your shoulders while you squirm and moan against him. It's hot, he's not gonna deny that.

𐙚 Also, apparently snakes have two penises. So uh, double penetration via double dicks anyone??

𐙚 Not a headcanon but do the curtains match the drapes and does he have snakes down below? 🧍

Chapter Text

SFW;

𐙚 I can personally see Wukong being genuinely intrigued when you bring them up the first time. Mind you, he's never been beyond China and while he has borderline visited India on occasion, that really is about the limit he's done on traveling with his free time. So, naturally, his interest is piqued when you mention them.

𐙚 Wukong's the type of guy to ask you a lot of questions when curious. Though you haven't shown him the waist beads due to cultural reasons, he asks you a lot of questions, like what are their purpose, what do the symbolize, how are they made, etc. It's a good thing he has an amazing memory, but you have to pray he gives you a break between questions. (Which, knowing Wukong, might genuinely be never.)

𐙚 He gives you such a puppy eyed stare to see those waist beads 🥺 please show him, he's just so curious, and you love him, don't you? Don't you wanna show him your pretty waist beads? Pretty please?

𐙚 Dear god he's practically in awe. He wants to touch them so bad―he finds the uniqueness of the chosen gems and your favorite seashells handcrafted by your mother to be gorgeous. The way they settle against your skin and rustle when you move, gods he just wants to touch so bad, but at the same time, he respects you and wouldn't do anything that might make you sad.

𐙚 Consider him surprised when he finds out that in some cultures, the waist beads are intended to be seen only by your significant other. When you confirm he's the first, he is thrilled. To know that you trust him enough to show him…dear god this man is jumping up and down with utter glee. He is not shutting up about it and might also beat up anyone that asks to see it.

𐙚 If it was possible, Wukong would beg you to let him wear one too. He finds them cute and even aesthetically appealing, especially knowing that you don't need them to be all fancy looking or rich. Too bad he's not a girl…

NSFW;

𐙚 Watch him go from sad he can't wear one to intrigued when he finds out in (Igbo) culture, not only does a groom have to give his bride a Mgbájí (waist beads) to ensure her attire is complete, but it's pleasing to watch as the bride dances to her new husband.

𐙚 Well, you know Wukong. Till death till you both part, and he has zero intention of parting with you. You're both practically married at this, point, so wouldn't you love him enough to put on a dance for him, as good wife should?

𐙚 Of course, if you didn't want too, he wouldn't have forced you, but when you wholeheartedly agreed with his request, Wukong thought his dick was gonna bust through his pants.

𐙚 The way the beads looked against your dancing figure, your alluring smile…gah, did he mention how much he loves you? Because, he does, and once you're within grabbing distance he yanks you forward and smooches you so hard.

𐙚 Don't expect to have those waist beads removed, oh hell no. Wukong insists you keep them on, and while he strips you bare, he ensures they're not even hurt by his actions. He wants to see them on your body while he fucks you.

𐙚 His cock literally throbs inside you while you ride him, and the shift of your waist beads while his hands squeeze your ass and your arms are wrapped around his neck are enough to send him over the edge. It genuinely takes a lot for him not to just bend you over right then and there, because he likes watching the beads shift against your body while you bounce on him.

𐙚 Maybe it's your imagination, but you swear he mutters something about knocking you up? And getting you another pair of waist beads to match the one you were gifted with from your mother? Something about you being so utterly divine in this moment, the idea of stuffing you to the brim with his cum and having you as his wife forever and ever..?

𐙚 Long story short, Wukong gives you a baby and keeps his word about granting you another pair of waist beads with pretty flower seeds and shells. Yay.

Chapter Text

Macaque's arms wrap around your sides, his chin resting on your shoulder. The gesture is affectionate―hands squeezing your hips, a low hum from a new play he's working on in your ear, and he says nothing but watch you place cookie batter on a pan.

He does think he's lucky enough to have you, someone so kind and sweet. He does think he's happy enough that he's earned someone who willingly loves him for all his flaws and all.

(Wukong would like to argue attempted murder isn't a flaw, but what he would know? He's always been a weirdo anyway.)

He likes watching you cook, though. There's something about you wearing an apron, darting back and forth in the kitchen, humming the same tune he sings with flour on your face and your hair in disarray, that paints a scenery he just loves.

But there's always something that feels like it's missing. Something that would make this scenery complete.

Macaque pulls away from behind you, allowing you to slip past and finish the rest of the cookies you're making. He leans back against the table, observing the slight swish of your skirts as you bend over and place the rest of the cookies into the oven with a satisfied smile.

He stares, and stares, for quite a long time….

And it hits him.

Oh, we don't have a little one.

“Macaque?” You glance his way, a smile he wishes to paint etched on your lips. Your face looks warm from the oven heat, and there's still some dough left on your cheek from your hurrying. “You alright there? You've been acting kinda strange lately.”

You frown, brows furrowed while approaching him. He allows you to close the distance, pressing a hand against his forehead. He finds the way you pout to be just as adorable.

“Huh. No fever…did you run into Wukong or something?”

Silently, he shakes his head, amused at your worrying. Your hand trails from his forehead to his eye, thumb caressing the scar that runs vertically under his left eye.

He hates acknowledging this scar exists, yet when your hands are the one touching it, he feels at ease. He feels happier, somewhat.

“I'm fine,” he assures you, leaning into your touch. “Truly. I was just thinking.”

“Thinking?” You tilt your head. “About?”

“You.” His hands land on your waist, pulling you flushed against his chest. Your hands play with his hair, a simple smile on your expression. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

You laugh. “Multiple times, I'm afraid.”

“Well, I'll say it again.”

He presses his forehead against yours, a lazy grin on his expression. His free hand travels south, and you playfully swat at his chest when he squeezes your ass playfully.

You shift to press a chaste kiss to his lips, and Macaque's grin widens at the corners.

On the kitchen table….

It's not the first time you've had sex in any part of your house. Macaque's always been the type to be frisky, always ready to touch and grab. You'd be lying if you said weren't the same―alas, you picked up your husband's bad habits. Wukong would naturally be pissed.

Your legs wrap around his waist, moaning against his ear. His hands dig into your skin, squeezing your thighs while he thrusts into you. His pelvis smacks against your ass, and his grunts and groans fill the air, mixing with your moans and the wet sounds that follow.

Macaque likes you like this. All sprawled out under him, clothes torn and lips swollen, body covered in bite marks and bruises made in his haste. He likes the sight of your eyes all crosseyed, your expression flushed beautifully as he fucks into you.

He bites his lip when his cock rubbing against an angle withdraws a sweet moan from your lips, and he pushes into you harder. Your walls cling to him, drawing him deeper, and he wants to sink his teeth into your neck and leave another mark there.

And he does. He presses lower to your body, his teeth breaking the skin on your neck. Your hands claw at his back, moaning deliriously as you cum around him, gasping his name like a mantra.

Macaque mumbles something under his breath. He licks the broken skin and kisses your cheek affectionately.

“We need a baby,” he murmurs in your ear, and he yanks you closer. “A little me, or you, you know? Gotta…mark you up. All f’me.”

You don't oblige him with a reply, but the way you moan and bury your head in his chest is all that he needs to turn you onto your side with a smirk.

Oh, and you need a new table in the aftermath.

Chapter Text

MK remembered when you first walk through the door. It was another Tuesday afternoon, bored out of his mind after another day of delivering noodles and saving the city. He'd only just returned, filling in Tang about the demons he came across while Pigsy made something in the kitchen.

And you were there. A bit dull-eyed compared to what MK remembered, but still wearing that smile he'd grown so fond of. You'd raised your hand in greeting, asking for the owner of the establishment you'd enter.

He remembered being too dazed to really focus on the conversation. All he knew was that he'd call for Pigsy, then spent the next hour or so watching you from a corner. It wasn't until you had taken your leave did he realize to ask, and he turned to Pigsy for answers.

“Oh, don't look at me like that.” Pigsy had sighed, sliding a bowl of freshly cooked noodles towards him. “You've been busier than ever with your training. And since we don't want a repeat of last time―” Last time meaning the clone incident. He still couldn't get over obese Delivery Clone trying to eat Pigsy… “―I figured a helping hand around here would do the trick.”

MK pretended to pout. “So you're replacing me?”

“No, dumbass.” Pigsy threw a wet cloth at Tang. It landed with ease, and the scholar whined. “Just that you don't have to stress too much about not doing enough around here. (Name)’ll work in your free time, and you theirs.”

It didn't seem like too bad of an arrangement. There were days he couldn't be around, swamped with training or some monster that wouldn't leave the city alone, and Pigsy would need an extra hand to help around. He could've asked Mei though, but he figured that the pig demon also wanted to offer employment to anyone in need of it.

It's just that, while MK had eaten his noodles and stared through the window to past the time, he really thought you were interesting, and the plans Pigsy had meant that, most likely, neither of you would get to speak together.

And that sucked. Because, once MK had the idea (and mere audacity, to quote a certain hot tempered bull prince) of befriending someone, not even the Buddha could pry the thought from his head.

Which in turn, lead to certain events, as of now. Hanging around during his own breaks to catch a mere glimpse of you, trying to play off the ‘cool’ hero act only to have his own staff knock him over in the process, god awful flirting attempts (seriously, those lines were bad bad), to name a few of the things he'd done. That wasn't even mentioning the times he accidentally held you up during rush hour, earning a scolding from Pigsy and customers that were completely rude to you and made MK feel so guilty in the aftermath.

With that last one, you'd think that such behavior would be enough to put anyone off. No sane adult liked getting yelled at for actions that weren't their fault, especially from their boss.

But, no. You still smiled at MK every morning when clocking in for work, and you still laughed at his bad jokes and horrible flirting lines. The rare off chance you two spoke, you were always so nice, not even bringing up the fact he'd gotten you into so much trouble over and over again.

By the gods, you were a literal saint. And MK would be damn well lying if he said he wasn't head over heels in love, and that was saying something.

“You're going on your lunch break?” He asked, waiting outside for you to show your face once again. Today had been his day off, but with Mei busy and the city surprisingly peaceful for the time, what better way to spend it than with you?

The question was a bit…too obvious, honestly. Of course you'd be going on your lunch break at this hour, how would he not know when he worked for Pigsy at the same time?? Plus, it's not like he hadn't hassled Pigsy before about your work hours and the time you'd take your breaks so…

You raised your head and glanced at him, nodding slightly. “Yes. Would you like to join me?”

In his head, MK was jumping for joy. He had been planning on asking you if he should join, but then you went right ahead and invited him first. This was progress at its finest, and MK was nabbing at this opportunity faster than lightning.

Just as quickly, he responded, “I mean, if you wouldn't mind me, I don't mind! Like, if you want me, haha….”

He could imagine Mei looking down at him in disappointment. Seriously, confidence is key. You're the Monkie Kid, what do you have to be worried about!?

That was easy for her to say! She was always cool, unlike MK who'd embarassing himself in front of you so many times….

Lost in thought, he hadn't realized you'd stopped walking until he nearly tripped over a table. You had the kindness to grab at him before he fell, offering your sweet, signature smile while he took a seat, nervously laughing.

“So….”

“So…”

How awkward. MK played with his sleeves, watching you pop open a box of noodles from Pigsy and eat. How the fuck do you even start conversations again?

As if you read his mind, you raised your head and gave him another smile. How he wished he had a notebook and pen around, if only to sketch you with such a peaceful expression.

“You can speak, if you'd like,” you said assuringly, picking up a mushroom from your bowl. MK was never a fan of vegetables, but watching you stick it into your mouth made him wonder if he should try eating some. “I'll listen. ‘kay?”

So thoughtful. “O..okay…”

And boy did MK speak. He chattered endlessly about anything that came to mind, gauging how you reacted carefully. Sometimes, you'd finish chewing to comment or too, other times, your expression would change with whatever he was talking about, nodding along in agreement with his peeves and then shaking your head when someone else supposedly did him wrong.

At some point, he'd completely trailed off topic, staring at your lips wrapped around your chopstick. He was technically still yapping, except that now―

“What did you just say?”

He blinked.

What…..what had he been talking just now? Was it something that upsetted you!? Fuck, he's such an idiot, allowing his mouth to blabber―

“You…like me?”

….

…

MK stood to bolt.

It turned out you were a lot faster than you gave him credit for. You had already grabbed him by the collar, yanking him backwards and onto the seat―this time, next to you.

“MK.”

Dear god, he wanted to disappear. Why hadn't Monkey King taught him one of his 72 transformations?? Fleeing from this situation would be a whole lot faster….

“MK.” You repeated his name, turning his head to look at you. “I heard you, you know.”

MK sighed. “Listen, I'm so sorry―”

“Why? Who said I didn't like you too?”

“―like, I know, I know, you're not here for relationships or any of that sort, and I shouldn't―what did you just say?”

You smiled slightly. “I said, I like you too.”

“Oh.”

“...”

“...”

“MK? Are you alright?”

And then MK fainted.

Chapter Text

“What's the purpose of even using a wand?”

Erlang hadn't meant for the question to come off as rude. He was only mildly curious, and by extension, rather intrigued, observing you walk off ahead with a small frown.

He'd by lying if he said he was only interested in your magic tricks though. Coming across you after fighting that little monkey, walking around with the world's most befuddled expression. From what he could get from you on that first meeting, you were a mortal, with some interesting talents to keep yourself from dying.

And well. Given that you could survive a yaoguai despite having a weird old stick in your hand, you were worthy enough for Erlang to fully acknowledge you.

“It kinda. Like….helps focus the spells, or something?” You replied in response to his question, but judging by your own tone, you didn't quite know why either. It seemed that wherever you came from (which was far from here), using these little pathetic sticks to cast spells was a norm, and a contrast to how Erlang had grown up learning them.

He hummed to acknowledge your answer, quickening his steps to meet yours. “And I presume you know of transformation spells?”

You made a face. “Transformation spells? You mean like disguises?”

When he shook his head, you sighed. “Naw, we don't have that kind of stuff. Least, I don't think so. I mean…” You tapped your wand against your hand. “We can do transformation stuff? But like, I'm not advanced enough for that, plus I'm sure you gotta do like potions…this that…yadda yadda.”

You waved your hand, causing Erlang to chuckle. You glanced at him in turn; “Can you do transformation spells?”

“I have 72 of them.” As if to prove his point, his figure disappeared into a puff of golden smoke. Where he once stood, there was a fluffy white ermine, sitting on its hind feet and beady black eyes gazing up at you. You couldn't help but coo, squatting to rub his head affectionately.

“Your magic is certainly something,” you commented, scratching ermite Erlang’s head. “You didn't even need to cast a spell! Just, poof! So cool!”

You continued to gush, this time, picking up ermine Erlang in your hands. Though surprised, he remained compliant, allowing you to scratch his head and rub his belly while you continued to walk to whichever destination you wanted. He'd learnt that questioning your logic would only give him a headache in response.

And maybe he didn't mind. Just as long as no one knew the cute ermine getting belly rubs in your hands wasn't the great Erlang Shen.

Chapter Text

I know I'm basically a few days late, but still, happy holidays to those who actually celebrate Christmas! And happy nearly new year too :D

Despite the temptation I'm actually really happy I didn't delete this AO3 account. Albeit it's kinda weird writing my serious fics and smut fics on the same acc...

Oh well, here's to the new year. This year I've been the absolute worst person ever so in order not to jinx myself I'm planning on crying the entirety of January. Hopefully if I do that enough, it'll appease the gods ^-^ and if it doesn't I wasted my tears

At the current moment, I'm leaving my requests on here and my Tumblr closed. My mental health has been terrible and I've been stressed a lot to write.

I WILL be writing, don't misunderstand. So there'll be updates, but I overall dont have the energy to do requests.

Thanks to the people who...stuck around. Dunno why but thank you. My behavior hasn't been the best (understatement of the century), but I promised my best friend and little brother to improve on it, and that's what I'm gonna do. I'll try to be more polite to people 2025 but I can't promise if people are gonna be absolute pricks

I'm ending this year with uhh, no...negativity? Is that the word? I hope it's the word, but anyways; apologizing to the people I've hurt and hoping we never, EVER see each other again. Ever. Push them under the carpet, we don't recognize each other nahhh

This year was awful damn. Here's to the new one!

I would've waited until the 31st to make this because I really wanted to make a joke, but I'm actually not sure I'll have the energy to do that when the time comes sooooo

I haven't slept since last year. (Pls pretend it's the 1st)

No but seriously i haven't slept at all since December started I'm going nuts

Chapter Text

“To be human is to feel. To be human is to hurt, to be loved. I know this is hard for you, but I know you can do it. I know…you'll be able to survive without me.”

The first time you had woken up in this world, you were at a beach. The waves lapping at your feet, coarse sand against your skin. You had woken up again, in a theatre, meeting the Six Eared Macaque for the first time in person.

Now, a year and a half later, you woke up to a ceiling plastered with monkey stickers, and lying on a mattress. A thick coverlet rested against you, your hair splayed out against the pillows.

And next to you was your boyfriend, the Monkie Kid.

It was strange, calling MK that. In your past life, you had never been a fan of him―something about main characters that were so goofy and pure just wasn't your ideal type. You moreso had an adoration for Macaque, and maybe on occasion, Red Son or one of those spider demons. To you, MK had always been particularly boring, through no fault of his.

Now the roles were reversed. You absolutely disliked Macaque with a passion, and MK was your favorite…well, not character anymore, but he was your favorite anyway. You quite liked that goofy personality of his, and you quite liked that he might be boring and less appealing for others. If you could hide him away from everyone else, then you already would have done so a long time ago. It wasn't even because of the promise you made to him back then―you just did not want anyone else to have your boyfriend's affection.

Hahahaha. If anyone from your old life saw you now, what the hell would they be thinking? The little antisocial freak actually managed to get a boyfriend, yet it also just happened to be after they died.

Ah….

At least MK was as kind as he came off to be. Maybe a bit cheekier than you remember, but he was still oddly sweet and patient with you.

Even after your betrayal to him….

The arm wrapped around your lower waist tugged you closer, pressing your back against MK's chest. He sleepily rubbed his face against your back, his feet thrown over yours and practically crushing you with his weight. If you didn't know better, you would've guessed he was also drooling on you once again.

You sighed under your breath. Truthfully, you didn't believe you deserved MK's forgiveness after crushing his heart like that. He really was too soft for a main character, and it really was no wonder Azure Lion and others had managed to trick him so. Despite not wanting to change the plot, you really didn't want MK to be hurt anymore. Not ever again.

That being said.

“Come, come.” You attempted to break free from MK's hold. “We need to get up. MK, you have work today.”

Instead of complying with a response, the way a decent young man his age should, all MK proceeded to do was grumble harder and nuzzle closer to you. His hot breath ghosted over your nape, and you visibly tensed when you felt the slow drag of his tongue against the skin.

Still can't get used to that either, you thought, the shame from the way your body reacted to such an action flooded your brain. You elbowed him, harder this time, and MK whined in your ear. “Behave. We did it all night last night, don't be greedy.”

“(Name)’s the greedy one.” MK's tone sounded like he was crying. It was just too bad you've been with him enough to know that trick, even if you weren't always smart enough to avoid it. “You want me to leave the bed so you can get all the blankets for yourself, huh? You don't love me anymore, do you?”

If someone had told you the protagonist could sound like a little brat, you'd actually laugh at them.

“I have work today,” you pointed out, referring to the small waitress job you received from a cafe downtown. The lunarian theme gave you the vague feeling this was one of Chang’e’s shops in the mortal realm, but since the person that ran it was a sweet rabbit spirit who gave you snacks on occasion, you didn't complain. You needed something to survive on, and as much as MK kept assuring you he could take care of you, you'd rather try to survive on your own for a bit. Plus, as much as you didn’t mind Pigsy or working for him, both you and the pig demon knew that MK wouldn't get anything done if you were present. “Come, off me already. I'll be late too.”

You thought, before adding, “And you're a hypocrite. I can't even stand straight after what you did, but you're here sulking? Aren't you being too mean to your girlfriend?”

MK laughed and relinquished his hold on you, if only for a brief second. The next thing you knew, you were lying on your back, and MK caged you between his arms again, a sweet smile on his lips.

…seriously, what was up with him and trapping you like this? Did he like the idea of―no, actually. MK's multiple kinks were not something you wanted to think about so early in this morning.

“Wow, my girlfriend has the prettiest eyes in the world.” MK gushed, his voice sincere and sweet. His messy hair falling over his eyes paired with that sleepy look….you felt your face burn and something within you stir.

Ugh, I really am depraved. He's complimenting me and all I'm thinking about is getting dicked down by him. You cried internally. I'm so horrible, tainting this sweet protagonist. Oh. Wait. Nevermind.

“That's sweet.” You shifted, pressing your knee against MK's stomach. “But my answer is still no, MK. Go get ready before Pigsy beats your ass and mine.” Your hands joined you, pushing at MK's face, but one glance at his pouting expression made you cave. With an eye roll, you granted his silly demand, allowing him to swoop down and plaster his lips against your cheek in a wet kiss. Your hands wrapped around his neck, tilting your head back to catch his lips against yours.

Like a child receiving candy, MK was more than eager to accept what you offered. His teeth nipped at your lower lip, and his hands greedily grabbed at your clothing, pushing your shirt over your stomach―

By the time he was actually done, you were both 30 minutes late for work. Your boss would grant you leniency, but Pigsy would reign terror on MK for this.

However, because you had to work with a limp, you refused his cries of assistance, shoving all the blame onto him.

The last thing you saw was MK wailing as Pigsy summoned a wooden spoon.

Oh well. He deserved it for your limp. Albeit, you had an excuse now for your boss, who was more than willing to go easy on you today during work. That man was a god in disguise and you promised yourself to get him a bunch of red envelopes coming new year.

And, as if the gods above had heard your prayers, there were less customers today as well. You sat at a table to pass the time, twirling your straw in your drink while staring outside. If you were lucky, maybe your boyfriend would drive past.

You thought back to the recent events at hand. The plot of LMK carried out as it normally did, though in person, there were days in between the actual episodes with minor inconviences, if ever, which granted you time to familiarize yourself more with your surroundings, and MK's daily life outside of the show.

Season One's plotline carried out as it normally would. To your presumption anyway, given that you hadn't been present to witness any other episode happen, and your knowledge of episode nine coming from MK's brief answers you could get from him. After that, you never bothered to pry―clearly, what had happened had still affected him greatly, and the last thing you wanted was to worsen things for him.

As for episode ten, that, you knew, carried out as it should have.

But―

You glanced as the doorbell to the cafe rang out, recognizing the small figure with ease. It wasn't hard to miss the pink bow she wore, or her sweet smile when she spotted you and called out happily, “Jiejie!!”

In the show, the host the Lady Bone Demon had chosen was this little girl―Ba He, as was known in the fandom. She had been a major plot point in itself, because with a young host as her, it was easy to trick MK and force Wukong's hand. At the end of episode ten, she had been the one LBD possessed, which then led to season two's events.

You hadn't experienced certain plot points first hand, of course, since you were an NPC and not much of an assisting character. All you knew from what you could glean from MK, at times, was that Sun Wukong had most definitely run into the Lady Bone Demon as had happened in the original, and Spider Queen clearly was being manipulated by her in the sidelines. And recently, you knew MK had also run into her―his stubbornness in training harder, desperate to learn more than what Wukong could give him, and the manner which he answered your questions about his reasonings.

Sad as you were he didn't trust you enough to confide in you still, you didn't take it to heart. All you could do was show him you were there for him, without revealing too much of what you yourself already knew.

But if Bai He's here…who could've fallen victim to her? You thought pensively, glaring at the table. She had her tricks, that you knew, but it was pretty strange.

“Jiejie, you wouldn't believe what happened to me today! Can you guess? Ah, it's okay, I'll tell you anyway!”

Not to misunderstand; you were relieved Bai He hadn't been the Bone Demon's victim this time around. From what you've learnt about her since you first ran into her, she really was a sweet girl in her second year of highschool with big dreams and an adorable mien. You were pleased to know she didn't have to suffer as a victim to the Bone Demon's possession, but worried for anyone else who had been chosen.

Oblivious to your worries, Bai He prattled on after ordering a drink from the menu. She told you all about her day at school, about the new kitten she had found one night, her parents still unhappy with her grades, the Monkie Kid merch she had been saving her pocket money for recently.

Aiyah, Bai He, you really are a little sweetie aren't you? You propped your hand under your chin, watching her with a small smile. Something about her reminded you of your past life, especially your little brother….

A dull ache throbbed in your head, and you forced yourself to sip from your drink. There weren't many things you missed from your old life, knowing that you were only a burden to your parents being unmarried and a complete loner. But sometimes, you couldn't help but think back to the few good memories―online friends, your little brother that you swore to protect. Little memories and mementos that made you miss home, for a moment.

“Oh, Jiejie! How's things with your boyfriend?” Bai He's voice roused you back to reality. You glanced at her ever curious expression, her cheek smudged with icing from the cheesecake she had also ordered.

Unable to help yourself, you leaned over, using the corner of your sleeve to wipe her cheek, just as you used to do for your brother.

“MK's been fine,” you remarked, thinking back to your boyfriend's stupid little face. “More insufferable than ever though.”

“Ughhh, boys are always so lame.” She stuck her tongue out at the word. “Jiejie, you're so pretty and cool. Even if MK is the Monkie Kid, jiejie, don't settle for him, okay? Boys always get high and mighty when they get famous, and if he thinks he can be mean to you after everyone knows him, you leave him first. Boys are lame, okay? L-A-M-E!”

You smiled, nodding along to her words. “Don't worry, your jiejie won't ever settle for less.”

Besides, it's MK who should settle for someone worth more.

Something you had noticed, at some point, was that you replaced certain characters depending on their role for the plot. Most of the time it was entirely unintentional―you weren't very happy knowing you were changing the story too much, but yet somehow, there wasn't anything you could do.

Like now, for a prime example. When MK had dug through Wukong's dilapidated shack for anything to help him with training, Sandy and Mei had been the one accompanying him.

Now, for some reason, you had been thrusted into Mei’s role…and Sandy was nowhere to be seen.

Fuck.

“MK.” You stared at the square shaped dragon…ball? Was it okay to call it a ball now? Huh…regardless, you threw it to the side while your boyfriend continued to turn the shack upside down. “Is any of this really necessary?”

Since you had replaced Sandy and Mei for this episode, you decided you would act as the voice of reason.

MK snorted from where he was, head first inside a trunk. His legs wiggled as he looked around, and you had to sigh. “Of course it's necessary! I have to get super, duper powerful, alright?” His words were muffled inside the trunk, and within a few seconds he managed to pull himself out, wearing a strawhat that he threw off―wait didn't that resemble Luffy’s―

“But why?” You deadpanned as he stomped around. “Wukong's been teaching you…some stuff, I'm sure. Isn't that enough?”

Of course you knew it wasn't enough. You also understood MK's paranoia and insecurity, but a part of you hoped that perhaps he would confide in you now.

“It's not enough.” MK's voice was harsh. You were surprised at his tone, the agitation clearly visible on his expression when he faced you. “That training isn't enough, alright!? I have to get stronger, because if I don't, who's gonna defeat―” His words fell short, and his expression grew complicated. “Just, anyone. I need…need to be able to defeat anyone.”

Oh. He still doesn't trust me, does he?

You looked away from him. You understood why, of course you did. You had been Macaque's student while being his friend, and even then you hadn't spoken a word of it despite knowing his intention.

Without even thinking, you snapped back, “How can you defeat anyone when you can't even place your trust in your own friends? Much less your girlfriend?”

MK narrowed at his eyes at you. “What?”

“You heard me.” You crossed your arms, glaring back at him. “Something is bothering you, yet you won't even tell anyone what's wrong. How can anyone help you get stronger if you just don't…say something. Anything.”

“What, you're somehow an expert in this?” You didn't like his tone at all. “Oh, forgive me, wise one. I suppose you clearly have a method since you seem to know everything.”

Your eyes narrowed at that. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

MK met your gaze, jaw set. You were already beginning to regret the nonsense you had spouted earlier, but the damage had already been done. Why had your mouth acted before your brain could think?

“Your master was the Six Eared Macaque.” He scowled. “What do you think I meant? He who hears everything. Or did you not inherit his oh so awesome ability too?!” He held his chin with fake realization. “Ohhhh, wait a second. I forgot…he wasn't a very good master, was he? Abandoning you after you betrayed me for him!”

….

You had never been one for violence in your past life, but currently, the only thing you saw was blinding red rage. You surged forward, knocking MK over with your body. What followed was what might've been a tussle, but was probably the equivalent of children fighting over the last chocolate bar or something.

MK didn't hurt you, but that didn't mean he accepted your punches. He grabbed at your wrists, yelping when your knee connected with his stomach. When you couldn't hit him anymore, you started cursing, and the noodle boy took the opportunity to flip your positions―your back flat against the floorboards, and MK straddling your hips, pinning your wrists above you head.

“Ow! Stop kicking me!”

“Me! You're the one who won't get your ass off―move it!!”

You gave up your struggling―MK really was too heavy. Pigsy must be feeding him well, or Wukong's lessons were paying off. Either way, you were trapped, forced to give up the fuss you were kicking up under MK's weight.

MK looked as messy as you did―hair tousled and half falling out of his bandanna, clothes torn and crumpled from pulling, and there was even a slight swelling on his bottom lip that made you tense with guilt.

Unfortunately, that guilt wasn't enough to have you apologize in the slightest. You glowered up at him, and he glared back at you with his sore lip and an agitated expression, his harsh panting mixing with yours in that dilapidated shack.

As much as you disliked Macaque's teachings, he had taught you well in terms of sneak attacking. You relaxed your body slightly, going limp under MK's firm hold. When his grip relaxed for a brief second, you quickly turned the tables, flipping him onto his back once again and your arms caging his head between them.

“Ow.” MK muttered, his hands instinctively flying to your hips. It squeezed but helped balanced your position, and yet somehow, he still maintained his glare.

“You ….” You huffed, straightening your position straddling his lower body. “Apologize. Now.”

“Why should I?” He sniffed. “You attacked me first, you apologize.”

Your eye twitched at his high and mighty tone. Irritatedly, you hooked your finger under his chin, forcing his head to face you. Your thumb brushed against his swollen lip, a pang of guilt once more hitting you at the sight.

“You insulted me first,” you deadpanned, gently caressing his bottom lip. “You should try to apologize first.”

“No, I didn't insult you,” he remarked back, his hands squeezing at your hips. “I was insulting your mentor.”

Your eyes narrowed. From your position on his lap, you could feel the bulge pressing against the curve of your ass.

What the hell MK…. You didn't know if you should laugh, or cry. The sweet little protagonist wasn't at all as sweet or innocent as they made him out to be huh? You didn't know if that was your influence, but you'd also rather not know who might've pulled your boyfriend into this depravity behind the scenes, tainting his innocence.

With a sigh, you leaned forward. Tongue darting from your lips, you dragged it slowly against the faint bloodstain on MK'S cheek, careful in avoiding the cut on his lower lip. You could hear his breath hitching, his grip on your waist tightening, and slowly accelerating in his chest.

Pervert. You sat up once again with the metallic taste of blood on your tongue, mixed with the sweat on your boyfriend's face.

“Are you gonna apologize now?” You demanded, toying with the sleeves of his jacket.

MK dared to smile up at you.

“No.”

You couldn't be blamed for this. MK was clearly asking for it, acting like such an asshole. And since he wouldn't apologize or at least have the courtesy to apologize, what more could you do but try to tease an apology out of him?

“Ow…are you trying to wring my dick out?” MK's breathlessly laughed, his hot breath brushing against your ear. His hands were pushed under your pants, panties shoved to the side while his fingers brushed through your folds, the pad of his thumb teasing your puffy clit. The action made your body tense, and you sucked on your lower lip to withhold your moans.

No, you didn't know why you thought you might actually be able to outsmart MK like this. Handjobs were…they should be basic, right? Sure, MK was always the one who took control all the time, but it wasn't that hard, right? You've seen videos before…

MK's free hand grabbed your wrist, gently squeezing your hand. It snapped you out of your revery, and shame blossomed on your expression as he slowly guided your hand, his soft grunts echoing through the shack.

This is so embarassing, you fought back the whine that tried to escape your mouth when MK very much unkindly bullied two fingers into your fluttering hole. The tips of your ears burned, a familiar coil in your stomach bubbling with each slow thrust he made.

This was supposed to be your moment, bullying MK into an apology, but who would've guessed you sucked ass at being in control? MK was practically teaching you at this point, pinching your wrist if your hold on his cock was too tight or unbearable.

“Jeez. Do I have to teach you everything?” MK teased in your ear, curling his fingers in a particular spot that made you jolt. “Come on, hon. You can just admit that you were wrong first. I promise to forgive you~”

Begrudgingly, you followed MK's actions, pumping his cock in slowly, your grip slackened. You couldn't bare to look at his expression―no, you refused to look at him, not while he moaned encouragingly in your ear, and his fingers thrusted lazily inside your cunt, ever so slowly prolonging your pleasure as you did him.

Who was teasing who anymore? Your thumb swiped over his leaking slit, and you could've sworn you heard his breath hitch in you ear. The base of his palm kneaded against your bundle of nerves, making your toes curl and your teeth sinking into the skin of your lower lip harder.

This back and forth was too unbearable for you. You pulled back, showing him away with an annoyed grumble. It wasn't like you would get any nearer to an orgasm with MK's horrible teasing, so you decided to make the best of this already awkward situation and pray to whatever deity listening to show you some mercy.

And if not, well. You'd just throw yourself off a cliff from shame.

MK's fingers were coated with your arousal, glistening in the little light inside the shack. You tried not to stare when he impishly placed those two fingers between his lips, his pink tongue licking them dry while holding your stare. Only when that agitating mouth of his curled into a smug grin did you catch yourself, hurriedly turning your attention elsewhere to hide the shame on your expression.

Stupid, insufferable…ugh! You tugged MK's already unbuttoned pants lower, glaring at the ugly, heart patterned boxers he always seemed to be wearing everytime you had to do the deed. Did he just like wearing them everytime or did his fashion sense suck?

….might be the latter, knowing him, but you'd beg to differ.

MK shifted, his back leaning against the couch, and his legs propped open as you settled between them. You spared his face a glance―his cheeks flushed pink, one hand propped behind him and the other fisting his shirt, staring down at you with curiosity and confusion visible on his expression. He raised a brow, and his voice was a light tease when he spoke; “Do you even know what you're doing?”

You huffed. “Shut up.”

“Y'know, you really could just apologize―it won't kill you―”

“Shut up.” You pinched his thighs, causing him to fall quiet. Or, as quiet as he could get with his giggling. Why the hell is he laughing!?

Fine. You'd show him. You knew what you were doing anyway!

….

Definitely….

Who the fuck am I fooling!? I died a fucking virgin! A cartoon character has more experience than me!

Ugh. Too late to back out now. You were determined to get an apology from MK one way or another, and if that meant at the cost of your pride…so be it.

You poked at his erection, his tip flushed a pretty red that made you bite your lip. Above you, MK's breath hitched and his body became tense. He looked confused―unsure what to do, and surprised you were this determined to keep going.

Taking a steady breath, your fingers wrapped gingerly around the base of MK's cock. Copying his actions from before, your hands slowly begun to stroke him, your face burning the longer you continued. Your boyfriend squirmed under you, his legs twitching, but you didn't dare to raise your head and peek at his expression anymore. If you did, you'd probably die then and there honestly.

Fuckkk what am I doing with my life. With another shaky exhale, you ignored your inner complaints and leaned forward, dragging your tongue against the head of his cock.

Abruptly, MK seemed to be choking on his spit. You pretended not to notice, and your hands continuing its slow ministrations while your brain screamed at you.

Holy shit, what the fuck am I doing with my life at this point. I'm gonna be giving my fictional boyfriend fucking head I'm such a disappointment my mother was right I'm such a loser oh my god―

With your hands propped on his thighs, you leaned forward once more. Gingerly, you kitten-licked the head of his cock, pretending not to hear MK's pants hastening or the way his fingers scratched at the floorboards and especially the way his length twitched when you pressed your lips against his head―

No, you weren't paying attention to anything else. Your dignity was already on the line, and your inner thoughts were already mocking your inexperience and impulsiveness in whatever the fuck this situation was right now.

Just don't use any teeth. That's definitely how it works. Your mouth hollowed around his cock, slowly sinking inch by inch into your mouth. Yeah. That's…actually no, I don't know. I have no idea how any of this works. Why am I doing this?

The tip kissed the back of your throat, and your hands squeezed around MK's thighs. A strangled noise escaped MK’s throat, and his breathing deepened.

Internally, you lit a candle for yourself in your head, and pulled your head back. His tip remained connected to your lips with a strand of saliva, making the heat surge to your head again.

“(Name).” Your eyes snapped to your boyfriend's face, deadpanning at the pathetic expression he wore. His bottom lip was covered in teeth marks―probably from biting it as much as you had done yours. “D..don't…I can't…”

You raised a brow slightly. Was he telling you to stop?

“I can't…um.” You watched him hide his face behind his sleeves, his words completely muffled. “I…can't hold myself back.”

….

Huh?

“What? You'll cum quickly if I suck you off?”

Your words were meant to be teasing, but MK's deepening flush and the slight twitch of his cock made you choke on your spit.

Holy shit, are you a fucking cartoon character or a hentai protagonist!?

“.... you're pathetic.”

“What!?” MK spluttered, sounding very much offended at your words. And to be fair, maybe you shouldn't be allowed to judge when you weren't any better either. You were pretty sure you lasted about a few seconds give or take everytime MK used his mouth on you.

But still. You weren't passing up and opportunity to tease him when he started it first, refusing to apologize. With a pretense of sighing, your lips latched onto his weeping head once again, your tongue swirling languidly while he squirmed and whine.

“You….aren't you being unfair?” He complained when you pulled back and pressed a finger against his flushed head. Your finger dragged against the underside of his cock, tracing a vein that made MK's toes curl, and his body twitch. “Fine! Gods, I'll apologize, just don't―ah!?”

Without giving him time to finish, your mouth engulfed him again. This time, you set a pace for yourself, bobbing your head back and forth on his length.

MK's protests gave way into moans and whines, his hips bucking into your mouth. His hand flew to your head, lacing through your messy hair to tug at your scalp. His free hand slapped over his mouth, muffling his moans and whines as your tongue flicked over his dripping slit and your hums reverberated around his entire cock.

True to what MK claimed, his cock throbbed in your mouth. You pulled back with a wet pop, just as his length twitched and his hand on your head pulled.

You peeped at his expression, his head thrown back against his shoulders and his lips parted in a needy whimper, his cum coating his thighs, and your cheek.

“Huh. You weren't kidding.” Of course you had to have the last word in. If you didn't…you wouldn't be able to live with yourself, alright?

MK raised his head, glaring weakly at you. You had the audacity to smile back, dragging the pad of your thumb against his cock. His cum stained your finger, and you impishly popped your thumb between your lips, imitating his previous actions.

“What was that you said about an apology?” You asked sweetly, toying with his cock once again. “You were about to apologize, weren't you?”

MK's eyes narrowed.

Shagging in the Monkey King's shack….if Wukong heard about this, he was going to have a field day. Not even in a good way―there was no doubt about it; he would be setting fire to every single wooden plank in this little hut and probably make MK eat the ashes as punishment for defiling his home.

But you know what? At this moment, Wukong could kiss MK's fat ass. This was revenge for abandoning him on his training.

And also, he couldn't be blamed. You started this, and like a good angry boyfriend does, he simply followed along. Like that one Bible story…ah, right. Bad time to bring that up.

One of his hands hooked under your thigh, pressing your knee to your upper body. The other was currently preoccupied with teasing your clit while fucking you and mentally hoping you wouldn't be left with carpet burns in the aftermath of this.

His pelvis smacked against your ass, wringing out another moan from your lips. Your shirt pushed over your chest, bra hastily unclipped over one shoulder with bite marks visible on your breast, and tears of pleasure hanging off your lashes. MK had reduced you to this state, and he had very little remorse for it.

It was only fair, you know. You teased him even when he so humbly offered to apologize, so he would do the same.

Consider this a debt he was collecting.

His thumb and forefinger pinched your puffy clit, watching you writhe under him. Your bottom lip was swollen from both yourself and him biting down on the tender flesh―his in an attempt to slip his tongue between your lips, and yours in an attempt to silence your moans.

Hadn't you busted his lip in your tussle? Fair was fair in that, but he also did not like the idea of you being hurt…

“Are you gonna apologize now?” MK taunted, grinding his hips against yours. He watched your eyes flutter close, drool hanging from the corner of your lips. One of your hands covered your face, smothering your whines. The other clawed at the floor, and briefly, you spared him a heated look.

With a sigh of pretense, MK dutifully leaned forward. The angle made his cock kiss at your cervix and your body jolted much to his delight and your dismay. The moan you were fighting back so hard to hide escaped you, a sweet sound that MK itched to hear more of.

So, naturally, he drew his hips back and thrusted inside your fluttering hole once again, aiming at that specific spot to wring another cry from your lips.

“I'm..not…apologizing―” You gasped out, squeezing your eyes shut to block his stupid grin from your sight. “Not apologizing…go to hell!”

MK pouted. “You're kidding. You started it, why won't you just say sorry? You know I'll always forgive you, right?” He seemed to think, and his thumb applied pressure to your throbbing clit. “Or, maybe I just need to make you cum. If you cum, then that means I'm forgiven!”

If you want to protest or at least argue back, you never had the opportunity to do so. MK's thrusts picked up in speed, and his thumb dutifully rubbed circles against your needy clit. The stimulation from both sides made your body tense, and MK knew from the way your pussy clenched around him that you were close.

Your teeth bit your knuckles when you came, your face practically burning with shame, as if someone had actually set you on fire. You almost wished that was the situation, and not at all your boyfriend fucking you through this orgasm with the intention of bringing you to bliss again, until he either came or you passed out.

Hm…

Almost an hour later, the feeling of MK's cum spurting inside you roused you back to reality. He must've pulled you onto his lap at some point, his face buried in your chest that was probably littered with bites and hickeys.

MK blinked up at you, and you stared back.

“We need to get you condoms.”

“Nuh uh.”

You sighed, leaving him to rest his head against your breasts while shifting yourself into a more comfortable position. As much as you could anyway, considering MK refused to pull out and your legs were too weak to move.

“I'm sorry,” you spoke up first, running your hands through his hair. “I shouldn't have said that to you.”

MK grumbled between your tits. “No, don't be. I mean, I shouldn't have said that either. You're right. I can't get stronger if I don't trust my friends either. And…and I know you didn't intend to actually betray me. I'm sorry.”

His tone was riddled with self depreciation, so you couldn't bring yourself to stay angry. Even if it wasn't his fault, honestly. You were the one who opened your big mouth.

“I just.” You frowned. “MK. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want too. But I'm here for you, alright? So…so, you…don't have to feel lonely. You don't have to bear this burden alone. I'm…I'm here, you know?” You ran your fingers through his hair, gingerly massaging his scalp. MK seemed to relax against your touch, a soft mumble escaping him.

To stay like that, even for a little while, completely resting against the other's warmth, would be a dream.

“Oh hey, that reminds me. I found this video game thingy that looks like Monkey King's. Wanna try it with me?”

Ah, right. Plot…

“What's up with you, girlfriend?” Mei gently nudged you from where she sat, her expression playful. “You got ants in ya’ pants? You haven't been able to sit still, like, at all.”

That was true, but did Mei really need to point out? Everyone else seemed just fine with pretending your fidgeting was just from nerves. MK's hand, intertwined with yours, gently squeezed you in assurance, and he leaned back to catch his best friend's stare.

“Don't be mean, Mei,” he chided. “It's (Name)’s first time to the movies, that's all!”

No, I've been to movie theatres before. You tuned out the scripted lines you were already aware of, not feeling in the mood to relisten them in person, or even to admire the painted poster MK held up. You were too busy internally monologuing, wondering how you could avoid this particular plot without MK being affected. Macaque adding more trauma than necessary to your boyfriend was not something you wanted to see, plot be damned. I just don't like this place.

How could you not be familiar with this place? Macaque had allowed you sanctuary in this place when you had first arrived, and between his dojo that had long since been abandoned and the theatre you had lived in before you moved in with MK, the memories weren't particularly pleasant. Something about the way Macaque treated you left you feeling uneasy, especially after experiencing his personality first hand.

MK's hand tugged you back to attention. He was looking at you curiously, a faint purple glow from the stage capturing his features in an eery manner. You shuddered, shifting to press your shoulders against him with a small, comforting smile, and he seemed to relax with that.

“I really could go from snacks right now,” MK complained in your ear, staring boredly at the cloaked figure that stood on stage.

You glanced at them, and felt your heart stop. You'd be an idiot if you couldn't recognize Macaque, even from those shadows alone. The question was, did he know you recognized him?

Six ears that hear all, past…present…future….

“You know what. I've had it.” MK stood abruptly. “I'm going for snacks!”

“Kid. You literally just ate.” Pigsy deadpanned from where he sat on the far side of the bench. “You're not gonna starve if you go without snacks for a few seconds.” He glanced at you, brows raised in a silent gesture to convince MK, but you could only shake your head. If it was remotely possible for you to convince MK to do anything, you'd be able to walk for once without feeling sore. That guy was stubborn as shit.

Shaking his head, MK stomped his feet like a child. “Pigsy, you don't understand! If I don't have something to chew on, how can I think?”

The same thought ran through your and Pigsy's minds: How is that remotely relevant to anything!?

Regardless, MK had already made up his mind, so there was nothing neither you nor Pigsy could say anymore. With a sigh, the tired pig demon pinched his nosebridge, grumbling under his breath about MK's annoying stubbornness. As if he hadn't picked that up from the man who raised him, but for your sake you wouldn't point that out.

“Ugh. At least take ya’ girlfriend with ya.” Pigsy grumbled and slouched back. “(Name)’ll keep you out of trouble.”

You heard Mei snort from her side. “Pft. Yeah right.”

In response, you jabbed her in the side with your elbow, earning yourself a giggling fit from the dragon girl. She might be right to laugh―because you always found yourself in trouble with MK and his group, but seriously! Did she have to laugh about it!?

Still, you weren't about to pass up an opportunity to get out of this stifling atmosphere. And, if you were lucky, maybe you could keep MK from meeting Macaque while working on a method to rescue his by then captured friends.

“Ughhhh, fineeeeee.” MK stood, dragging you behind him. “Come on, hon. Let's get us some snacks.” As you followed behind him, he leaned back to whisper in your ear, “And maybe I can get a different kind of snack…”

You pinched him on the arm. “Absolutely not! Can you try to keep your dick soft for just a little bit?!”

“Hey, it's not my fault you get me riled up so much.” MK giggled and followed obediently as you dragged him to the snack bar, all sunshine and rainbows and not at all the same guy who had just asked to fuck in a public setting again. “You're so pretty, what do you expect me to do? Don't girls like when their boyfriends get horny for them?”

“MK, where the fuck are you getting love advice from?” By then, you'd reach the snack bar, and relieved to notice the girl behind the counter wasn't someone you recognized. Macaque must've had her replaced or something. “Because, they kinda suck.”

MK pouted. Once his order had been given, he tilted his head to look at you, batting his lashes innocently. “Are you saying Monkey King's love advice sucks?”

“Look me in the eye and tell me your mentor has ever touched a woman in his entire immortal life.”

“He says he has! Princesses threw themselves at him and stuff! Men too! Did you know Erlang had a crush on him once? So weird.”

You grimaced. “Your mentor is a damn liar, that's what. Erlang Shen, liking him? I'd have a better time believing pigs can fly.”

“Pigsy's a pig.”

“I mean an actual oinking pig. Not a pig demon.”

“Huh. Do you think Pigsy ever had the urge to roll in mu―”

MK didn't finish his sentence, and you didn't need to look to know why. You watched your boyfriend perk up at the brief shadow that passed by, and before you could try to stop him, he was gone, telling you to collect his snacks for him if he didn't return back on time.

Fuck. You were trying so hard to avoid this damn plotline―

“You can't change it, you know.”

The voice that had spoken up abruptly made you tense. At the back of your mind another voice was reprimanding you in a tone similar to Macaque's; Skills and strength are one thing, but having a good weapon can save a lot of time and energy. You should seriously invest in one.

Not now, inner Macaque. You turned your head warily, expecting some sort of attack. Though the voice was androgynous and sounded nothing like any character you knew, you still needed to be on guard. The storyline and characters had already taken their own initiative regarding certain things and seemed to have some sort of secret adult side (cough), so you wouldn't be far off to assume you'd run into your fair share of danger. This world was riddled with demons, and not for you to sound judgemental, but you knew for a fact that quite a few had an obsession with eating humans still. You weren't exactly too keen on taking that chance and ending up as some demon's meal, thank you.

Yet when you turned, expecting a demon ready to eat you, you were faced with the exact opposite―a fair skinned woman with short, chestnut brown hair, tied with a silly red bow that reminded you of Bai He. Her eyes were pitch black to the point you couldn't decipher iris from pupil, and you had a feeling as she stared at you that she could probably read your mind if she wanted to.

Though creepy in appearance, you wouldn't deny she was also slightly pretty. In a Sadako from The Ring kind of way, with her skin so pale it was almost translucent, and the visible eye bags she had.

You frowned, and the woman continued. “Whether or not you choose to intervene, it won't matter anyway. What is already prewritten must carry on as it should. There's nothing you nor I can truly change.”

Eh? Lady, are you insane or something? You sweatdropped at her words, glancing at the doors where your boyfriend had disappeared. So creepy…

“Um. Okay…?”

“Dizàng.” The woman's faint red lips curled slightly. “My name. Dizàng.”

Oh. You didn't think you were a native to question the peculiar name, so you nodded. “Um. (Name).”

“I know who you are.” The woman, or, Dizàng, raised a thin brow. Her dark eyes trailed your figure, looking you up and down the way a mother would on your first day of school. Not judgmental, but still aggravating nonetheless. Her hands clasped behind her, Dizàng tilted her head, and her dark eyes met your. “But do you know who you are?”

Ah, okay. You understood what was happening. This was some crazy weird half mystery plot thing where some crazy person would give you some bullshit ass words to play with your brain and disappear. Too bad for her, you weren't gonna fall for it.

“Listen, lady.” You exhaled, counting to ten in your head. “I don't know who you are, exactly, but I'm not in the mood―”

“You cannot change the story, (Name).”

Your words fell short. Eyes wide, you stared at Dizàng with what might've been a flabbergasted expression, but you didn't even care for that. You couldn't even be bothered to wonder where the hell the snack lady had disappeared too at this point or make a mental roast in your head.

All you could do was stare as she picked at the thread on the sleeves of her white cashmere sweater, her expression a mixture of exasperation and amusement.

You spluttered, “Wh…hat…what the hell did you just say?”

Patiently, Dizàng repeated. “You cannot change the story. What is written has to be, already predestined by fate herself. To change it will disrupt the path already engraved in stone. Is that what you want?” She sighed, lowering her hands. “You blame yourself and want to change, but if you do what will become of MK's path? Preordained, what more is there for you to do? To change it, it would be like taking the ocean into a desert without warning or thought of the disastrous consequences. Only the natural flow of time allows things to be as they are.”

Woman…can you be less vague!? What the fuck are you talking about!?

“Don't you think it's strange you're here?” Dizàng shifted in her spot to lean against the counter, her gaze on the wooden ceiling. “Or do you still believe the Six Eared Macaque took you in out of the kindness of his heart?”

You didn't respond.

“Not everything is as simple as you make it out to be, child. Perhaps, you should stop fretting over the boy, for his path has long since been determined, and focus on yourself.” You frowned, but she still continued, “You, who's existence defies all logic and reasoning. You've disrupted another path, you know. By existing, and being here.” She hummed, a low sound. “Even I fear what may become of you, without a path to guide you.”

She stopped just as she had begun, and your mind tried to process everything she had just said. The protagonist was normally the one who had to deal with vague as fuck premonitions, so why the hell did this lady just…

You raised your head to question her motives, but as quickly as she had appeared, she vanished. The only thing you could do was curse the cheap writing about it all just as MK returned with an apologetic smile.

As expected, that plot carried out as it normally should have. Er, would have?

Whatever. It happened, and nothing you said or did was enough to convince MK. He really had believed his friends had abandoned him, and like an idiot wounded, kept his distance from you, mumbling about wanting time alone for a while. You wouldn't push him, but for heaven's sake did he have to be such a…

You barged into the familiar theatre, your clothing soaked from the endless downpour outside. Typical cartoon villain confrontation. Always gotta be raining huh? You didn't bother to scoff at your own remark, shrugging off the cloak you'd borrowed from the back of MK's closet. It was probably Mei's if the design was anything to go by, but you didn't pay it much thought. Those two were peas in a pod anyway.

Besides, what did it matter to you anyhow? If you were petty enough to care about something like that, would you really have bothered to come all this way into the rain to confront a bastard?

Ah, speaking of that.

Wringing your hair dry, you stepped further into the interior of the theatre. It was surprisingly empty today, nothing but the sound of your squeaky footsteps echoing in the long corridor. You stood in the hallway, staring down the lamps that flickered with an occasional cold wind, your expression blank.

To be honest, you quite liked living here. Macaque wasn't necessarily that bad, and ignoring his guilt tripping nature aside, he was only ever awful with you during training. Outside of that, he was nice enough that you almost, almost wanted to call this place your home. How you foolishly tricked yourself into thinking you could have an influence on him, to convince him not to hurt MK, or maybe he would go easier on him…

What a joke. Macaque had used you to hurt him, ramming the belief into MK's head how you had played with him for his (Macaque's) personal gain. He really hadn't cared for you at all, had he, to not even spare you another word. Only to disappear just like that….

Did it matter anymore?

You shook your head and took a step forward.

It shouldn't matter anymore, right? After all, you had MK now. And his friends had come to slowly trust you. It was fine, really…

You entered the last room, eying the empty benches. The atmosphere was heavy if not tense, making you the slightest bit uncomfortable. Before, numerous people would be around, chattering away with ease. In a corner backstage, you'd be watching the performance Macaque would give, eyes wide and shining with awe at being present to witness his splendor.

“Finally, at last. The prodigal daughter returns.” An arm rested heavily around your shoulders, the unfamiliar warmth pressing into your side. You hadn't noticed it before, but in this disguise of his, he sure seemed to like the smell of lavender huh? You had to resist the urge to frown. “To what do I owe the pleasure of you finally remembering your old master?”

Your eyes twitched as you shoved him. He stumbled, but as you expected, Macaque was always quick on his feet. The disguise he wore fell, replaced with his smug grin and a toss of his red cape, eying you up and down with a gleam in his eyes.

“Who's your student?” You retorted, taking a step back. “Last I recalled, weren't you the one abandoning me after getting your ass kicked?” You paused, then added with a smile, “Revenge didn't work out as well as you thought, did it? Is that why you fled like a coward?”

You knew you'd hit a mark with that last sentence. Macaque's eye visibly twitched, his smile dropping by just a few inches. If you didn't know better, you'd have assumed he was even contemplating how to strike back―but, then again, this was the Six Eared Macaque. Always so quick to catch his bearings, so utterly thick faced and shameless.

With a hum for a tune you vaguely recognized, Macaque's posture straightened, his stance that of a lofty teacher about to lecture a wayward student. He spun on his heel, walking slow circles around you, his tail dragging against your face and poking your cheek out of spite. Irritated, you slapped it away, and he seemed to pout.

“Well, that's not very nice,” he remarked in an all-too sad tone. “I taught you so much, surely you can spare me some face. Where's your filial piety, huh? I might not be your father, but I still fed and clothed you.”

Your eye twitched. “Well, by that logic, where's yours? Wukong did so much for you in turn, huh? And yet here we are, with you holding an age old grudge.”

You were playing with fire, attempting to rile Macaque up like this…but hadn't he himself taught you, the more agitated your enemy was, the easier it was for their defenses to drop, and the quicker it would be to slip through them?

No risk came without a reward. “Honestly, it's kinda sad now, isn't it? Imagine being so unbelievably pissy about getting your ass kicked that you'd stubbornly hurt the student of your enemy…who's done you no wrong, dare I even add.” You sighed and held your forehead in an act of mourning. “Yet, not only does your attempt at revenge fail, that same student kicks your ass, so all you can do is cower in the shadows like a rodent, squabbling for scraps.”

Peng, I might not have met you right now, but god your insults against Macaque were good.

Macaque was glowering at you, and you returned his stare with a smile.

“Tell me. Did this second defeat taste as good as the first? Or did you want the other eye to follow?”

As you'd expected, his temper was just as short as Wukong's, if only more lenient. Once those words fell from your lips, you felt your body becoming weightless and the world growing dark.

Stupid shadow powers. You yelped when your back connected with the stairs, hissing in pain. The world spun as you tried to stand, but just as quickly you were pushed down, Macaque grabbing a handful of your hair and pressing your cheek against the wooden floor.

“That MK boy is a bad influence for you,” he remarked in a tone riddled with mockery. “You two are more in sync than I thought. It's like you're born of one emotion…haha..” His free hand pinched your cheek, tugging at the soft skin. “Two peas in a pod, two birds of a feather…whatever the saying goes. Huh, does he know you're here?”

When you failed to answer, Macaque giggled.

“Oh! Oh, I wonder how he's gonna be this time. You know, last time, he was so heartbroken. Gods, you should've seen his face. The kid was crying like a little baby.” He cleared his throat, taking on a high pitched tone. “Oh, my poor, pwecious (Name) betwayed me. Honestly, most fun I've had in ages.”

“Don't you have anything better to do than getting hot and bothered making someone else miserable?” You snapped back, attempting to push him off your back. Too bad, Macaque placed all his weight onto your back, forcing your face down once again. The hand in your hair toyed with the strands escaping your ponytail, while the other continued to pinch and toy with your cheek until the flesh was tender and burning.

“Hm.” Macaque pretended to think. “Nah, not really. When you live as long as I have, it's the simple things in life that count.”

“But you aren't supposed to be alive at all.” You weren't sure why you said that, but the remark had slipped out anyway. With his position on top of you, you could feel Macaque's body freezing, and you internally scolded yourself for letting your temper get the best of you.

Macaque closed the distance, his chest pressed against your back. His lips brushed against the shell of your ear as he spoke, his voice low, but loud enough to hear above the sound of thunder outside.

“You know that, don't you?” He murmured, tracing the area on your cheek he had pinched with a claw. “It's funny. You knew who I was before I even introduced myself. Knew what I was planning with the kid, knew what to say to piss me off.” The claw stilled dangerously close to your eye, and you gulped. “But none of this makes sense. Even the Monkey King couldn't predict what I was up to. How does a mere human girl like you know so much?”

“....”

Ah. Right. Of course Macaque would've known, or at least figured out, what you were thinking.

Shit, shit, shit. Did he get spoilers for the entire show too!? Can six ears read minds!? What the fuck!?

Worry flooded your mind. It wasn't that you doubted Dizàng’s words, mysterious and vague she might've been, but if another character figured out the story's plotline…wouldn't that be bad news!? Especially if it was a villain!

Sure, okay. Macaque's redemption happened probably in season 3, and even if you thought it was rushed, it still happened because the Lady Bone Demon stepped in and fucked him over. And then that whole speech MK had given…yadda yadda, whatever, those events happened for a reason. If Macaque, villainous as he was now, figured out the plot because of your slipup, wouldn't he take advantage of using things for his own benefit?

Then…then what!? He was able to get redeemed because the Lady Bone Demon had captured him, but if she didn't get her hands on him this round…. wouldn't he continue to be a villain?! You still had no idea what the hell she might be doing currently if she didn't get her original host…the plot was becoming more fucked up!

You can't change the story, my ass!! Even if I'm not trying things are still changing!!! Aaah!!

“You.” You tried to squirm, becoming increasingly self aware that in the position you were currently in, your ehem chest were being squished in quite an uncomfortable position. Not to mention, whoever Macaque had hired next as your replacement was doing a shitty job at cleaning, and you did not like having your face pressed into the dirty ground. “Get off.”

“Why? I'm quite comfortable, actually.” Macaque tugged on your scalp. “To be honest, you're the one who shouldn't have come here. Did you really think you could beat me in a fight, (Name)? I taught you everything you knew, all those dirty little tricks.” He sighed and shook his head. “It was all me. I'll admit, it was pretty heroic of you to come here for your little boyfriend….but so fucking stupid. Look where you are now. You're gonna be a burden to everyone at this point.”

The claw resting against your cheek retracted a bit, and the pad of his index finger gingerly caressed the swollen area of your cheek. The soft humming from earlier picked up again, leaving you dazed. Why did that sound so familiar?

“Worthless, useless. You're weighing everyone down. You can't win against me, yet you still came anyway. You can't protect MK, but you still fool yourself thinking you can.”

The entire time he was speaking, you finally realized his hold on your hair had slackened slightly. It wasn't enough to ease the pain in your scalp, but it certainly was enough for you to attempt something.

What do most characters do in this situation? You thought pensively. Ah…cry…

….hm. You couldn't cry hard enough or at will, but you could pretend to sniffle, hiding your face (or tried to) from Macaque. He was so busy monologuing on top of you, the sounds of your sniffling was enough to give him some sort of twisted sick joy…

As soon as the hold in your hair slackened, you reared your head back with as much force as you could muster. The back of your head connected with something, and Macaque cursed, pulling away enough for you to shift his weight and shove him off. He stumbled down the flight of stairs, and you jumped at the opportunity to climb the remaining steps to catch your breath and nurse your injured head.

Macaque stood, cursing under his breath. Blood trickled from his nose and onto his hand―oh, you broke it.

Ah, well. If he didn't want a broken nose, he shouldn't have left himself in that position.

Wiping his bloody nose on his sleeve, Macaque's gaze landed on you. You tensed, anticipating him to actually want to kill you this time, but he merely laughed, revealing his teeth stained with his own blood.

“Not bad. Not bad―” He chuckled, the sound becoming distorted with his broken nose. “Ah, my little wildflower has grown up so well. I'm so touched, really.” He shook his head. “Pulling my own tricks on me. You're a good learner, you know that?”

You squinted. He made no moves to attack you, instead drying the blood on his face on his sleeve. Did he have the same healing factors as Wukong would have…because, if not…he'd be pretty busy afterwards taking care of that.