Chapter Text
Kasey wasn't sure exactly when things shifted. He couldn't pinpoint a specific moment when his feelings began to change, it seemed either too fast or too gradual for him to catch on.
When he'd had a crew two years prior, he'd been close with everyone. He made it a priority to check in as often as possible, wanted his crew to see him as a leader and also as someone who cared for them. Now that he'd found himself again building up a crew, his motive was similar. Kasey wanted his new group to trust him, to check in with them often and ensure they knew they could talk to him.
He and Garrus talked frequently, catching up and reminiscing about the adventures they shared. He'd taken great interest in speaking with Thane, Samara, and Zaeed, and was forming a close friendship with Jacob. The person Kasey visited the most, however, was Mordin.
Every chance he got, he'd head to the tech lab on the Normandy SR-2, eager to learn more about the salarian professor he'd recruited. Initially his fascination with Mordin Solus was the same as his intrigue with his other new recruits. He wanted Mordin to know he was an easy-going Captain, that he valued the opinions of his crew and checked in frequently in case of issues or discussions that needed to be had.
Now though, Kasey went to see Mordin on a much more frequent basis than the rest of his crew. He'd run out of mission or career related questions to ask, and would happily listen to Mordin talk about anything and everything that came to mind. Hobbies, past stories, salarian culture. Kasey had shared a great deal of information about himself with Mordin, too. About his brother that had been born on Earth with him, about his adoptive parents. He spoke of his love for animals, past missions of his, and expressed interest in someday settling down on the Citadel.
Kasey found that when he didn't speak to Mordin, his day didn't feel complete. It was as though he'd missed something important. He'd pondered it a bit too long while feeding his fish one morning, and come to the realization that he'd developed a rather large crush on the professor.
Mordin was extremely intelligent, in and out of his field, and always eager to chat if he had free time. Mordin was passionate, about his work and his hobbies. Even with the fast speed he regularly talked at, Kasey had noticed that he spoke even faster when he was excited about something. Mordin was beautiful. Kasey loved his large eyes, his patterns along his face, his uneven horns, the way his unique attire hugged his body. Once he realized it, Kasey found more and more things he'd grown to appreciate about Mordin, and it was a struggle to make his cheeks stop burning.
It wasn't something he confessed immediately, but he did want to tell Mordin the truth. He ran it over in his head over a dozen times, and after putting it off for a bit, Kasey finally gathered his courage and made his way to the tech lab.
Mordin gave him a light wave as he entered, speaking quickly, "Shepard. How can I help?"
After a deep breath, Kasey reassured himself that no matter the result of his admission, he and Mordin were good friends and would work through it. "Do you have a minute to talk, Mordin?"
The salarian nodded, before stopping the typing he'd been doing, instead crossing the room to stand face to face with Kasey. "Actually…wanted to talk. Medical matters. Unsure when to bring up. Aware that upcoming mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress. Aware you come by a great deal. Have put the pieces together. Have had other species become attracted to me before…Awkward. Not interested."
Mordin's response hit Kasey pretty hard. He knew Mordin was spot-on about several of the things he'd mentioned, and though he was grateful for the professor's honesty, he was crushed by how quickly he'd been shut down.
He held back the negativity he was feeling, instead asking, "You've had members of other species make passes at you before?" Kasey wanted clarification, as he'd never intended to upset Mordin with his feelings.
"Constantly," Mordin said, exasperated, "Very awkward. Skin tone apparently attractive by turian standards. Subset of krogan sexual deviants enjoy salarian flexibility. More cartilage than skeletal structure. Asari offers intriguing, actually…wonder why…Transpecies pheromones unlikely to work. Must be neurochemical."
Kasey nearly laughed at the asari comment, managing a smile instead. He'd found many asari to be beautiful himself, and had once dated an asari named Liara.
He forced himself to keep eye contact with Mordin, "I apologize if I made you uncomfortable at all in our past talks. And, I appreciate you letting me down easy."
Kasey must not have kept all the sadness out of his expression, because Mordin's gaze softened. "No offense intended, Shepard. Salarian reproduction different. Very little sex drive." He paused briefly, looking at Kasey a little differently than before, "If intended to try human, would try you."
That made Kasey blush, harder than he had when he'd first realized his feelings towards Mordin. Once he remembered how to breathe, he took a hesitant step forward, "Mordin, I don't mean to push, so please stop me if I'm misreading things, but…is the sex aspect the only reason you're turning me down?"
Mordin nodded, not showing any indication of being upset by Kasey's question. "Affirmative. Sexual relationships taxing, no desire for them. If merely stress response, pointless in long run." He glanced at Kasey again, "Is that confusing to you? Could prepare pictures or writings if it helps."
Kasey shook his head, "No, thank you, Mordin, but that's okay. I just thought I should explain that I have a very low sex drive, too. I'm demisexual. I rarely experience any sort of sexual attraction, and when I do, it's only with people I've been with for a very long time, or have formed a very strong connection with."
Mordin seemed to look at Kasey in a whole new light, staying silent for a moment, before simply stating, "Incredible. Never considered that possibility before. Shepard, demisexual…What did you hope to happen between us then?"
Kasey fumbled a little, not expecting to be put on the spot. "Well…" He ran a hand through his hair, unable to stop his face from heating up as he admitted, "Well, I'd love to hold your hand. Or take you on dates whenever we have a chance to go on shore leave, to kiss someday. Just…small things like that. Something exclusive."
Mordin pondered that a moment, inching closer to Kasey, "Monogamy, yes. Something gentle, slow-paced, no sexual expectations. Would you enjoy hugs? Cuddling perhaps? And, am I truly the only person you are interested in exploring this with?"
Kasey nodded, any doubt or negative feelings he'd had seeping out of him. "Gentle and slow, yeah. I love hugs, and yeah, I think I'd enjoy cuddling a lot." He managed another step forward, having to look up a bit to meet Mordin's eyes, "And yes, you're the only person I'm interested in more than friendship with. Does that mean you…?"
Mordin nodded, offering his hand to Kasey, "Yes. Interested as well. New territory, new experience entirely, but admire and respect you, Shepard. Excited to date you."
Kasey took the professor's hand in his, his palm warming at the strange new sensation of holding hands with someone who had a different number of fingers than him. It felt good to hold Mordin's hand, though, and he smiled, "I'm very very happy right now, Mordin. I respect and admire you, too. If you'd like to, when we're alone like this, you could call me Kasey."
Mordin smiled, "Kasey. Sounds right, will remember that. Do you wish to keep this quiet, Kasey? Would understand if unwilling to share personal matter with crew."
Kasey gave the salarian's hand a gentle squeeze, "I don't mind if other people find out. But maybe we can keep it a little quieter until we're comfortable with this new dynamic?"
The professor gave Kasey a gentle squeeze in return, "Understood. Time to ourselves to settle. Looking forward to it. Talk later, Kasey."
Kasey nodded, reluctantly releasing Mordin's hand and making his way back to his quarters, absolutely beaming.