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Nobody involved in the attack on the Whitehouse came out of it unscathed. They would carry the scars, mental and physical, for the rest of their days. There was no exceptions to this in the case of President Benjamin Asher of the United States. Ben was plagued by nightmares, flashbacks and waves of grief from the events of July 5th. Combined with the longlasting effects of Maggies death Ben was a mess half the time. But he never let his calm, in control mask slip. His country needed him so he broke down in private, alone. The mask fell for nobody. Nobody that is except Mike Banning.

In truth, part of Ben's emotional turmoil came from the part of him he had suppressed over the last few years. He hadn't addressed it, he hadn't allowed himself to think the words or acknowledge them within his conscious. But in his heart of hearts he knew. He felt it in the way his stomach flipped when Banning walked into his office, the way he trembled under Bannings gaze and the in the quiet moments post-run or boxing when he watched Banning dress out of the corner of his eye. But he could not dwell on that because it was inappropriate, plus Maggie mattered to him still. He would be betraying her if he let his heart win. But that didn't stop the dreams, the way his mind wandered when he couldn't sleep, snippets of an unobtainable future, one where Banning was his.

Still that was enough he snapped to himself, he had thought too much about the subject and the paperwork was piling up. He sat down at his desk and put all thoughts of his friend out of his mind.

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Mike Banning stood in the corner of the Presidents meeting with the English Prime minister. He found himself zoning in and out, the boring negotiations of trade links were being made and frankly Mike couldn't care less. Instead he preferred to focus on the Presidents unwavering icy blue eyes as they took into consideration everything that was going on. Mike wouldn't name his feeling towards Ben, but since the Whitehouse attacks it was harder and harder to ignore them. Mike could now accept that they had always been there, he'd now just recognised what they were. He knew that it wasn't normal to feel so overprotective of your supposed boss/best friend. He knew it wasn't normal to wake up screaming into the black abyss of night after a nightmare that he hadn't been able to save Ben. He knew that friends didn't fantasise about undressing each other whilst they went on their daily "Presidential Race" runs. But Mike couldn't yet dwell on that for too long. After all it was pointless because Ben was utterly heterosexual.

Mike's vision refocused to find Ben staring back at him. His eyes seemed to smile but he continued his sentence, looking away before anyone noticed. Mike was content for the rest of the tedious meeting.

Afterwards, Ben called to Mike as he went to leave the boardroom. "Mike please can I see you in my office". Mike's heart skipped a beat for no reason whatsoever as he nodded in response. He couldn't refuse but he was finding it harder and harder to be in Ben's presence. Everything in him knew that it was wrong, how after everything he'd put Ben through could he even dare to have "feelings" for his boss. It was unfair and Ben was only just regaining his trust.

But just ocasionally, probably just in his imagination, Mike saw something in Ben's gaze. It was a look he'd seen in his eyes when Maggie walked into a room. It would only appear for a split second when Ben thought Mike wasn't looking but it lingured sometimes. Mike knew it was wishful thinking but in the quiet hours he allowed himself those thoughts.

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Mike Banning found himself with a knot of anxiety in his stomach. His right leg bounced up and down on the hard wooden chair outside his president’s office. He never usually felt like this around Ben but well recently things had changed. Ben’s strong voice rang rhythmically through the hall as he called “Mike you can come in now!”. Mike, unable to let his emotions take control of him in any situation, walked confidently into the office. He could not, however, meet Ben’s eyes.

“You wanted to see me sir?” he asked as he looked at the room around him delicately as if he didn’t see this office more than his wife. “Oh drop the sir will you Mike we’ve been through far too much for that”. A warmth spread through Mike’s chest as he realised the implications of this change. He was finally at the point he had been before that fateful christmas where he’d lost the 3 people in this world who meant the most to him. Memories of grief and heartbreak, of endless sleepless nights and all the days he’d tried to drown in alcohol swamped him for a second. Mike was trying to combat the obvious fact that he clearly needed therapy, but it was becoming increasingly more apparent by the day. Ben’s voice brought him back to the present. “Hey, hey Mike it’s okay what just happened?”. Shaken and unable to respond Mike shook his head. He felt so self conscious but he was haunted by the lives lost at his hands, specifically Maggies but also of the hell he’d caused for the man standing in front of him now. How was Mike ever supposed to make it up to Ben? He hated himself in that moment and found himself in an unusual position, close to tears.

But without warning, knowing just what Mike needed, Ben walked round the desk and without saying a word enveloped Mile in his arms. It was as simple as that and Mike was instantly relaxed. It felt like subconsciously, Ben had forgiven him for everything and this was his way of showing that. There were no words needed because Ben had gone through this himself. He was the one person who got him. Not Leah, not his so-called friends in the rest of the government. Ben. Who was now tracing circles on Mike’s bicep. When he could feel that he was ready Ben drew back from Mike. “It’s easy to get lost in the past Mike, I know that better than anyone, but I could see the self-loathing in your eyes and never do I want you to feel like that again.” Mike just nodded lost for words and took a seat in the chair opposite the Presidents. Ben took his and for a moment they just let each other breathe, the boundaries of their relationship having shifted.

“Now onto the topic of why I actually wanted you here, although that was definitely what I needed”. Mike couldn’t help but notice the playfulness in his voice, could it be that he wasn’t alone in his feelings?. “Look Mike there's no easy way to say this but something’s changed between us. You didn’t even look at me until I spoke to you, you zone out constantly, you’re always in this world of your own and it’s like someone stabbed you whenever I speak”. As Mike opened his mouth to defend himself, Ben cut across him. “Have I done something? Said something stupid or made you feel like shit because if I have I swear I didn’t mean to and I can’t think straight when you look at me like a wounded animal an-”. It was ridiculous, cliche and something out of a 90s chick flick but Mike stormed over to Ben desperate to shut him. Without allowing himself to even think about his next actions, Mike bent down, grabbed his face and their lips met. Ben’s eyes widened, but he kissed Mike back harder and held onto his arm, the one thing grounding him in this insane situation. Suddenly, as quick as it happened Mike pulled back, the realisation of what he’d done hitting him. He had kissed the fucking President,his best friend (who’s wife he’d killed), in an office where world shaping decisions had been made, where there was constantly monitored CCTV and THE PRESIDENT HAD KISSED HIM BACK. Mike on the only instinct he had legged it out the room before Ben could even react.

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A broken body lay in his arms, a mass of red spreading across his chest and all over his clothes. The man in his arms wept as he clung to the fringe of life itself as the last of his light slipped away. “I’m sorry things ended like they did Mike, who knows what could have been” Ben Asher sobbed. He wasn’t a tearful man but in this instant his cries were of regret. If only Mike hadn’t been so stupid. If only he hadn’t let his emotions rule him like an oversized toddler. He watched helplessly as the most important person in his world slipped away. He found himself out of control of his own body, yelling into the darkness “BEN, PLEASE I CAN’T LOSE YOU”.

Sweating and trembling Mike Banning sat up in bed, tears streaming down his face unaware of where he was. Adrenaline coursed through his veins as he took in his surroundings. It was okay. He was at home, in his bed with his wife unconscious next to him. He hadn’t lost Ben, he was in the white house fast asleep. He winced as he thought of the President. He’d taken leave for the past two days under the excuse he was “ill”. In reality, he could kill, torture and be tortured but he couldn’t face up to his own actions. It was cowardly he knew but he didn’t want to see the look in Ben’s eyes. The hurt and the confliction in his frosty gaze. He needed some air and so he walked over to the back doors. He looked back at Leah, the woman who he’d sworn he’d love forever just 3 years ago. It seemed he was becoming excellent at destroying the lives of others. Mike sat down at the table, staring out into the mild Washington night.

Just a few miles away, in the most heavily guarded building in the country, the President sat in his window seat with a cup of instant coffee in his right hand. He watched the goings on of his country in a desperate attempt to distract himself from his all consuming thoughts. Ben hadn’t slept in over 3 nights. Since the man he had inexplicable feelings towards had kissed him in his own office, the photos of his dead wife staring at him, Ben hadn’t been able to function. At first he’d been angry, not at Mike, never ever at Mike, but at himself for his inability to ever comfort or sort out someone's problems. He could run a country and do it well enough to be elected twice but he couldn’t console himself or the man he cared for more than anyone. He knew from the look on his face when he left the room without a word that Mike had acted on some primal instinct and that he was disgusted by his actions. Ben? It was the best experience he’d had in 3 years. He loved Mike and that's what 3 sleepless nights had led him to conclude. He’d finally come to terms with the fact that humans are capable of so much love. And he had loved Maggie and would love her forever but that didn’t undermine the fact that he cared so so much for Mike and he would do anything to spend the rest of his life with him. However it wasn’t as simple as his emotions and he’d spent these past few days figuring out all the complications that came with this. Firstly, they lived in a mostly conservative and traditional country and to come out to the public as even bisexual would be deemed as some act of defying God. Ben didn’t know how to approach the situation, he’d never dealt with anything like this before. And then, there was Connor. The only person who came above Mike in his life. Every decision Ben made revolved around Connor and he had absolutely no idea how he’d react. He knew that Connor adored Mike and the months he’d forced them apart had been some of the unhappiest of his life, but that didn’t mean he’d want someone to suddenly come in and replace his mother. Ben suddenly hated the fact that he was considering all of this without even thinking about it properly. Mike hadn’t contacted him since. He hadn’t come to work in two days and he was doing his absolute best to avoid Ben. Surely that suggested regret. Feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet, Ben put his head in his hands and fell fast asleep.

5:32 am
Mike Banning's phone rang, vibrating in his pocket. He wordlessly picked it up, stepping outside into the night. Lynne’s voice was comforting in his ear, a familiar sound in this horrific time between night and day. “Mike, you need to come back tomorrow”. Panic seeped into Mike’s chest as he was suddenly wide awake- “Fuck Lynne what’s happened?”. Lynne paused for a moment and in that second Mike was transported back to the dream he’d had a few hours earlier when his worst nightmare had played out. “I don't know what the hell happened between the two of you on Wednesday but he’s not slept in days and he looks like a fucking lost ghost. So get your arse in here before he does something to himself which I’m terrified of. You need to sort out whatever’s gone on because since you walked out of that office the man has gone back to who he was when we lost Maggie”. Mike took a second to drink all of this in, Ben needed him? It was stupid but he found himself aching to fix the mess he’d made and make things right between them. “I’ll be there Lynne I promise”. “Thank God for that Mike because it’s a shitshow without you right now”. Mike laughed and said his goodbyes looking up to the stars. He’d like to think one of them was Maggie and that if she was up there she wouldn’t hate him too much. He whispered up to the sky, “I’ll make this right Maggie I’m so sorry” and turned to get some rest.

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A loud bang on the door, simultaneous with his alarm, brought Ben Asher back to the world of the living. For the past few hours he’d been asleep for the first time in days, sitting at his window seat, his mug still resting on his knee. As he sat up his neck cracked and he audibly groaned, not quite awake yet. “Sir, can you hear me?” rang into his room along with another loud knocking. Jumping out of his seat, still in his crumpled suit from the previous night he straightened himself up. “Yes Lynne is everything alright, I fear I’ve overslept.” He began to undress and pick out another suit, waiting for a response and dreading the answer it would bring because as the president everything is never alright. Lynne replied quieter this time “President, Mike is coming in today so I do believe everything will be okay”. Ben felt his heart plummet as he took this in and replied with “Thanks for telling me, I’ll get ready now”. Holy shit, holy shit. How was he supposed to get through this?? Neither of them knew how to approach this. As he fixed his tie he studied himself for the first time since the day Mike had stormed out of his office. There were horrific bags under his eyes and cold water was doing nothing to wake him up. He ran a hand through the very little hair he had and pinched his cheeks.He also had a quick shave to stop himself from looking like he was serving a jail sentence. He looked dreadful and nothing could hide that, especially from the man who knew him better than anyone else in the world. He felt physically ill at the thought of hurting Mike further but he knew that this couldn’t go on any longer and they needed to have an adult conversation. Ben laced his shoes, and stepped out into his white house.

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Mike Banning was a mess. Efforts to sleep the previous night had been futile and nothing could disguise the fact that his stomach was churning with anxiety. He knew this was ridiculous and that they’d gotten through worse than this but he couldn’t help it. When it came to emotions Mike was an act from the heart kind of guy and his brain no matter how logical, couldn’t overstep this. He was driving to the White House for the first time in days and after agreeing just a few hours before to Lynne that he would somehow put all of this right, Mike had a mission. And if there was one thing that Michael Banning did not do it was back out of a mission. He slowly parked his car and made his way up the steps of the side entrance where he was expected and with an air of newfound confidence entered the White house.

Ben had been at work for 2 hours and it was now 9 pm, the time Mike was expected to arrive. He’d already asked Lynne if she could send him straight up when he came because the wait would give him a heart attack if he didn’t. And right on cue there was a knock at the office door. Anxiety rolled through every fibre of his being and he simply uttered “come in”. The doors were opened and as if he was a leader of some foreign country here on a state visit, Mike Banning walked in. He looked like a shadow of his usual self and even the way he carried himself suggested self loathing and such uncertainty that Ben wanted to hug him and tell him it’d all be alright, even though he felt the exact same way. The two slightly dishevelled, exhausted looking men gazed at each other as if it was the first time they’d met and their expressions never wavered. They were both on the verge of passing out so Ben was the first to say “I think we both should sit down”. Mike let out a genuine laugh, so unexpected that he even caught himself off guard. “Sorry I don’t know what's wrong with me, '' whispered Mike. And then at the same time they said “I haven’t slept in days”. Then they both laughed and the awkwardness evaporated. The light caught in Ben’s eyes and for a moment the breath caught in Mike’s throat. He spoke again “one of us is going to have to address this now realistically Sir”. Ben stared at the desk and tried desperately to collect his thoughts, however it was becoming increasingly difficult because Mike looked like a greek god with his hair tousled and the light shining in his face, his pained expression possibly the most attractive thing he’d even laid eyes on. And to think just a few weeks ago he’d refused to accept the possibility he might be bisexual. “Mike, I owe you an apology. I didn’t contact you and left you in the dark, probably knowing you, thinking the worst and I want you to know that what happened wasn’t disgusting or anything negative whatsoever. In fact it was one of the best thing’s which has ever happened to me and I never want you to doubt that”. Ben took a deep breath in and watched for Mike’s reaction.

Mike truthfully was in shock but at the same time so fucking relieved, “I’m the one who owes you the biggest apology. I kissed you without thinking and it was so fucking insensitive given who I am and what I did-”. “Don't you dare blame yourself for that Mike” Ben interrupted, sounding genuinely angry. “I need you to know that wasn’t your fault and Maggie's death is not on your hands because I have never blamed you.” His gaze was steady as Mike swallowed and nodded. “Nevertheless I acted on a whim and it could have ruined your life and our relationship if we’d been caught and I never want my emotions to cause you harm, but I don't have a regret in saying that it was one of the best decisions I’ve made even though it clearly took a toll on the both of our mental health”.

Ben slowly stood and looked out of the window. “So where does this leave us? You’re married and I’m the president and I- I love you”. There were tears in his eyes as he turned to face Mike. “It was a lavender marriage”, Mike said in the shakiest voice. Ben’s eyes widened in disbelief. “I know and I should've told you sooner but we’re best friends and I’ve been gay for my entire life as has she. I know it’s another betrayal of trust but I don’t want you to hate me for it-

It was Ben’s turn now to interrupt and he marched over to Mike and pressed their lips together. Mike tasted like cigarettes and coffee. He tasted like wet dreams and summer nights. It was bliss. This time though they didn’t stop, tongues circling each other as they both chased a high. They pulled back for a breath and Ben slowly and clearly said “There is nothing you could do Michael Banning which could make me hate you.”

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“I told him”, Mike said cautiously. “Wait I’m assuming you’re referring to the President but I think you need to be more specific”, Leah replied in the same measured tone. She was unwell with the flu and had pyjamas on as she stirred a cup of tea. “Yeah I’m talking about Ben and I mean-”. He hesitated because he was all too aware of the reaction Leah could have to this. After all, confessing the to President of the United States that your marriage is a total facade so both of you can fuck who you want has it’s consequences for everyone involved and Mike wasn’t an idiot, Leah had every right to be pissed at the next words to leave his mouth. “I told him about the conditions of our marriage”. Leah froze and her spoon clattered to the floor. Time seemed to freeze. The last thing Mike wanted to do was hurt his best friend because that’s what Leah was to him. She might not be the love of his life but she meant a hell of a lot to him and he cared deeply for her. She turned slowly to face him and said simply “how fucking dare you?!”

Mike closed his eyes and sighed slightly anticipating the giant row which would follow. “Leah I snogged his face like a lovestruck teenager in his office, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing and I panicked in a moment of desperation and in order to comfort him I told him that this is a lavender marriage”. Leah’s eyes widened in pure shock, she’d had no idea of Mike’s complicated feelings towards his boss. “Goddamn Mike what a mess you’ve made”. Leah didn’t sound angry now and she strolled towards the coach, elegantly perching on the arm of it. “You don’t say” Mike retorted and held his head in his hands. “I’m just going to say this now Mike. If you trust him and believe he won’t expose us then I know you and I have faith that you’re right. I hope this works out for you but I fear you’re playing a very dangerous game here and that you don’t understand what you’re getting yourself into. This is the President Mike, you’re not making out with a celebrity, this is a man who’s entire life is the country we hold so dear. I’m terrified for you.”

Mike felt like he’d been stabbed. All his innermost anxiety had been spoken in Leah’s speech. “I didn’t sleep for days over the thought of this man rejecting me Leah, I’ve been in love with him since the day I met him. I no longer care about some fantasy future where some how who the president fucks brings the country down. I truly believe we need each other”. Leah had never seen her “husband” so devoted to any cause. She wrapped him in her arms and said, “I’m here for you, always”.

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The White House- Around 2 months later

Ben was having dinner with his son who was slightly bemused by all of his father’s recent behaviour. “So are we going to talk about it or what dad?” Ben looked up from his burger and smiled slightly. “What do you mean”. “Look I’m not an idiot I’m 14 I think I know tension when I see it. Don’t play dumb dad I’ll spell it out for you if it’d help. I mean what is going on with Mike. You know? The one who you basically eye fuck-” “Connor Asher?!” Ben exclaimed loudly “HOW DARE YOU”. “Sorry dad that was rude of me, I just mean I hate you pretend I don't have a clue what’s going on all the damn time, can you please be honest with me?” God, kids these days. The internet at their fingertips and by 14 they can tell when their dads hopelessly in love. He didn’t really know what their was to say. Him and Mike had slept together a few times, they’d made out more times than they could count. But Ben wasn’t going to tell his kid that, he didn’t need to know. So he simply went for, “I love him Connor and I pretended for too long that I didn’t.” Connor didn’t seem surprised by this one bit, in fact he seemed relieved. “I approve and I know damn well that mom would too”. This bought tears to Ben’s eyes as he said quietly “I love you kid and this means more than you could ever know”. Connor smiled and gave his dad a hug, glad he’d finally told him the truth about Mike who was also Connor’s favourite person.

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The next day

Mike was barely spending any time at home these days. Instead he’d work overtime until the President finished his shift and then they’d go up to his room. They’d shag, kiss or like today talk because both of them were slightly emotionally stunted and needed someone to vent to. Today things were bad. Ben had been having horrific nightmares about the white house attacks and had only just confessed this to Mike. “Would it help to talk about it?” Mike asked in a small voice. “I think so,” Ben began. “I just can’t stop seeing the dead bodies everywhere. Mike there was so much blood and it was all caused by me and a hostage situation which was made worse by me.” Mike went to interrupt here but Ben cut him off. “Please don’t, I know you’re going to contradict me and I appreciate that but I just need to tell you this now. If it hadn’t been your name that had been mentioned by Forbes I would’ve given myself over to them. I had lost all hope by that point and genuinely believed I’d lose Connor too. But when you’re name appeared I just knew in my soul it’d all be alright. I didn’t have to worry because you just have this miraculous way of saving me over and over again. It’s the reason I love you so much, I know I can turn to you whenever I need it. Last night I had the nightmare again but this time you were there and it just all became less terrifying. You mean the world to me Mike and I don’t think I’d be able to exist without you”

Mike stroked circles on his back and whispered into his ear lobe softly, “I know every version of our tale in every universe will end like this. I would search for you in any world, life or death, across solar systems and through the pits of hell if it meant you were safe. There is nothing I would not do for you.”

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*From the perspective of Vice-President Trumbull*

Trumbull was a romantic. He was in love with love, the gentle communication between 2 people and right now he was lucky. He was watching two of his closest friends fall hopelessly in love with one another. Ben Asher was technically his boss however Allan didn’t view it this way and they had a mutual respect for each other that ran far deeper than President/Vice President. As for Mike, they’d been friends for years and Allan had suspected he was gay for a long time. Now, he didn’t need any confirmation. It was a brushing of hands as they walked past each other. It was the President grabbing Mike’s arm for slightly longer than necessary. It was the knowing looks or the blushing whenever the “closeness” of their “friendship” was mentioned. It was Mike staying later and later each night to talk to the President and these days, disappearing off to his room. In the white house, this was becoming an open secret because you can’t really just spend every waking moment with someone in a space like that and it go unnoticed.

Allan would often get slightly emotional thinking about this newfound love between his friends. When he thought back to the horrific time after Maggie’s death where Asher had come into work everyday like a machine with bags under his eyes. When he had started never sleeping or doing anything other than work. The empty look in his eyes like his soul was ripped apart. And perhaps the worst part, the empty space that Mike’s absence left in the White house. The president would flinch whenever his name was mentioned, dancing around the topic of replacing him. The stories of Mike that drifted round the White house of a man broken in a similar way to his boss, depressed and loathing life but forced to get on with it. At that time they needed each other but it was so painful for Ben that it would’ve never worked.

Now though, things were different and the future looked bright. Allan found himself alone with the President in his office, clearing away his last things about to leave when he decided he wanted to say something. This presumption they were all oblivious had to end. “Sir this isn't my place to comment but I’m happy for you and Mike”. The President looked up like he'd been shot (again). “I’m sorry what are you referring to”. “I think you well know, hell half the house knows! Don’t you worry though it’s our secret if you want it to be. But understand this Ben, you are the most deserving person of this love and I hope he makes you happy”. Realising it was a lost battle the President simply said “I’ve not felt the way I do now in years and years, he’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me”. Trumbull grinned about to say more when the stream of advisors, secretaries and security started rushing into the room ready for the next meeting. “I’ll see you tomorrow sir, take care”

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*Christmas Day 2011*
Benjamin Asher clung to the fragile body of his only son, a lifeline in the most unimaginable nightmare which had unfolded over the last few minutes. He was of course in a state of complete shock and refusal to believe what he’d just seen. But, under all that emotion, he was inherently angry. How dare Mike think he had the right to pick and choose who lived or died? Last time Ben checked, his until moments ago favourite person wasn’t a God. Ben was so incredibly fucking furious. That was the only feeling he had in his body because other than that he found he had gone totally numb. He knew that when Maggie had tumbled off the side of that fucking bridge, his and Mike’s relationship went falling with it. Nothing would fix the stab wounds that Mike had carved into his soul. “Why not me?” the small voice in the back of his mind chanted over and over the whole way home. Except Camp David wasn’t home now, and it could never be given that name again. Because he defined home as wherever his family was and now 2/3 of those had been cruelly ripped away from him. Devastated wasn’t the word to describe the loss already seeping through the cracks in his life, his heart was shredded and stamped on and burnt right in front of him. And the worst part of it all? The sinking feeling in his stomach when his mind replayed the scene as his car drove away from the scene, Mike still sat on the icy edge of the bridge, his eyes filled with tears illuminated in the headlights, looking like he was debating joining Maggie. No Ben couldn’t be around that face, it was far too painful. And in that moment, with his son on his arm, fast asleep he took his laptop and sent the email. “Please remove Mike Banning from my presidential detail temporarily whilst I go through this difficult period of time”. Within moments of typing this final sentence he slammed his laptop shut, the email unsent. He couldn’t do it. And at last he let himself cry the tears he’d been holding back and the sobs wracked his body. He cried for Maggie and the fear in her eyes when the cars collided, he cried for Mike who in his soul he knew had done the right thing, he cried for Connor who would never grow up with a mother and who would face a grieving, distant father for the next few months. And lastly he cried for himself, the man who’d had his 2 soulmates who were inextricably part of his lifeblood, taken from him. And the helicopter at last landed back in Camp David, whilst the anguish took a hold of it’s owner.

*the following day*
Before Ben could even open his eyes, he felt a sense of dread pool in his stomach. For a moment he’d allowed himself to believe that yesterday was a nightmare, crafted from his anxieties about losing people. Instead, his bed was sickeningly empty, and there was freezing space where Maggie should’ve laid. And there was no knock on the door from Mike, telling him he was late and the team was waiting with his cheeky grin. There was no breakfast with the 3 adults and Connor. How do you ever recover from something like this? Ben couldn’t take the day off. He decided at that moment, his country needed him. And so, shaking and utterly numb the president dragged himself out of bed and into his crumpled designer suit.

Silence. He fucking hated silence. People treading on landmines around him all day. Why couldn’t they just pretend it was all okay, like he was doing? It wasn’t that difficult. “Mike would understand,” the monkey on his shoulder yelled at him. His subconscious was eating at him all day, but the overwhelming grief and anger he still felt directed at Mike overruled this. He was torn in two, one half screaming at him to talk to Mike, he too had lost one of the most important people in his life and was perhaps the second closest friend to Maggie (after himself of course). The other half whispered that Mike deserved this treatment and that Ben should be dead. After all, the voice said, Maggie was a million times better a person that Ben could ever hope to be. Nothing would silence these thoughts and over the next few weeks leading to the funeral, Ben could only tame his grief with the deadliest poison of all. The whiskey and vodka numbed the intensity of emotions raging in his soul. It wasn’t like he was permanently drunk, just enough to quiet his mind. Maybe it affected his decision making, maybe it didn’t. Frankly Ben couldn’t give a crap whether this was the worst coping skill he’d ever turned to, he needed it just as much as his country needed him.

*the funeral*
Those weeks blurred into angry tears and the toughest conversations, hurt directed at everyone he could possibly lash out at and eventual acceptance that this was his life now. Then the day he’d been dreading most of all rolled around, Ben stepped out of the black car which had been trailing his wife’s for the final time and followed his world into the church where she’d be laid to rest. He was the last person in the building and as he made his way to the very front row his eyes laid rest on the man he loved, despised, wanted dead but yet also desperately wanted to himself. Mike Banning met his eye for what he thought would be the final time in their lives and Ben gave him a single tentative nod, with a look he knew only Mike could decode. He hoped the look said all the things his heart wanted to scream. And so as he took his seat at the funeral of his favourite person, he also took a seat at the funeral of his heart, for that belonged to Michael Banning and now he knew face to face with him that they couldn’t be around one another ever again.

And so as the next 18 months ploughed on, time ripping more of Ben’s heart away from him the pain never subsided. He was still broken and always melancholy. His anger faded over time into an acceptance and yet he still found himself flinching at the mention of Mike’s name. He still refused to officially fire him, still left his details on the security system. Ben held Connor as he cried over not only losing his mother but also the man who was a second father to him as he held back his own tears and the storm in his chest. Occasionally he would sit down at his desk and begin an email with everything he so desperately needed to say, he still knew Mike’s email by heart and yet something primal refused to let him hit send. There were sleepless nights, the loss of his appetite and the uncontrollable need to destroy things. Once upon a time he and Mike had boxed one another, the heat and passion in those days had been all the therapy Ben needed. And now Ben found himself in the gym alone in the morning, never working out, just wondering if Mike’s DNA was still in the air around him, preserved as more time pushed on around them. But for Ben, this was enough because if it was anymore he believed he would crash and burn and take the whole of America with him. The ultimate sacrifice he made each day was to not pick up the phone and beg for reconciliation and yet he never gave into the temptation of reclaiming his person, that was until the White house fell and out of the ashes rose his saviour.

Chapter Text

Over the next 2 years, Mike and Ben faced hell and heaven and came out the other side irrevocably changed, but irreversibly in love. Once a traitorous member of the security team at the white house leaked to the press how strange it was that the President was spending every waking moment with his head of presidential protection the whole country erupted. There were protests from homophobic conservatives who refused to live in a country where the President was a “servant of satan”. When Ben released a statement saying he was in fact, bisexual, in love with Mike Banning and asking for privacy this only fueled their fires. But Mike and Ben couldn’t care less about the undying hatred from the most insecure members of society. Anything they faced they did it together.

When Mike almost lost Ben for the second time in London after the horrific attacks by Barkwaki in his desperate attempt to get revenge for his father’s death it brought the two of them even closer together. Losing Lynne who had always rooted for them, made the couple more determined to not let others control their relationship. And Ben felt an ever growing respect for Mike, he had killed and put himself in extreme danger countless times, but this felt different. It felt like an eternal promise that Mike would always be there no matter the circumstances and this loyalty and strength which was always a part of their relationship had now been firmly cemented and neither wanted to ever live without it. Mike divorced Leah, who then married her beautiful girlfriend and adopted 3 children with. She was always Mike and Ben’s biggest supporter and lead several campaigns in Ben’s name for LGBTQ+ rights, their families were always extremely close.

Connor grew up to be a incredible young man, he joined the military and rose through the ranks- his secret service training from his other dad became essential in his career, and with every award he received, every medal honouring his bravery, he never failed to thank his mother who he said was the kindest and wisest person he knew, his dad Ben who raised him and fought for him each day. And the person who he thanked the most profusely was Mike who he called his other dad and who he said had taught him all he knew, who showed him what a gentlemen is, who showed him how to love and defend your love and who never once gave up.

When Mike proposed to Ben a year after London that was the first time Ben had cried since the white house fell. Of course he said yes and within 8 months they had been wed in a small ceremony in the grounds of a grand hotel in Virginia whilst their loved ones cheered them on. Connor was the best man and he gave a speech, expressing his gratitude for both his dads. When Ben’s time as president came to an end, Mike stayed on for a few years but ultimately the trauma and bad memories from all his experiences over years as a security agent started to outweigh his fond memories with Ben, afterall Ben had been the one thing he’d stayed in the role for, for so long. After he was framed and the whole country (other than Ben) turned against him, he retired and the pair moved to Pennsylvania. They were happy and although the obvious PTSD that the two faced as well as the physical pain that Mike was permanently in they overcame these challenges together.

The two grew old safe in the knowledge that they were the First Bisexual President and the first, First Gentleman. Connor gave them grandchildren, Margaret Lynne Asher (Jr) and Michael Benjamin Asher (Jr) who lived up to their namesakes. They played golf and occasionally boxed, they took up reading and travelling because they could and because sometimes the best thing to do is outrun your demons. When Mike died of a stroke at the age of 85, Ben shortly followed- they say it was a broken heart that caused his heart attack only 3 weeks later. But most said that their souls were never meant to be apart, after all they’d always found a way back to one another. They were buried in the same grave and the headstone read their oldest vow- 'together.’ Because they always would be, finally at peace, as one.