Chapter Text
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
If you're sleeping with Charlie you are sure to expect something a little out of the ordinary either way. Aftercare Wise this is no different. After sex, Charlie offers a snack, some water, both probably not the safest to consume but edible.
You are going to get spooned when you sleep with Charlie. The small amount of time he spends without Frank in his bed, he needs the physical touch and really gives one of the best hugs you could ever experience.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Ears. Charlie likes a pretty ear, he likes pierced ears, ones with plugs/tunnels, ones with no alteration at all. His ears are very sensitive and assumes everyone else's ears are too, he is always very gentle, with little nibbles and kisses. Mostly so his partner does the same back to him.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)
Charlie cums more than you’d expect for a little guy, it’s thick and there's a lot of it. He can only manage once in a day and would struggle to try to produce anything after a good romp.
Charlie does NOT like cum in his face or in his mouth. He can’t get his head around the taste and the texture, he gets it won't kill him but it really is the kind of slime he doesn’t enjoy.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Before Frank moved into his place, Charlie used to hump the couch pillows. He used to grind up against the edges feeling the rough bumps of the fabric rubbing up against him. It was an easy way to get off, now Frank is there however he can’t bring himself to do it.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Only a handful of times has Charlie gotten to actually have full sex with someone, he's not the most charismatic and he was always the weirdo at high school so he only really got who Mac didn’t want. Bottom of the food chain was kinda tough.
He knows what to do but he’s not had the best at actually executing the more advanced maneuvers.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Spooning. Charlie will happily curl himself into his partner and enjoy the more intimate movements of their bodies. The way he gets to snuggle into someone as they engage in a pretty animalistic act is a nice yin-yang that Charlie really enjoys.
G = Guests (Are they into more than one person being with them? Threesomes/Cucking/etc)
Does Frank watching through a crack in the closet door count as a threesome? Because that happens more than you’d think. In all cases that Charlie can help it, he is quite shy, he likes to keep it closed off, mostly because he’s self conscious of his methods. He might not be the most confident but he makes up for it in intimacy.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Naturally quite tight in the hair region, he doesn't really bother to shave much at all.
Surprisingly Charlie's pubic hair has a slight auburn tinge to it. He has no idea what part of his genes are ginger but hey it must have come from somewhere, it’s probably the Irish in him.
Surprisingly the least hairy legs of the gang! Including Dee.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
If he knew where to buy candles he would buy them. He sprinkles leaves on the bed instead of rose petals. He has a bucket filled with ice with a few beers stuffed into it. He really does try but it’s not quite the classic ‘romantic’ that you would probably expect with anyone more ‘normal’..
He does like to get close, he is probably the most likely of him, Mac and Dennis to say that he loves you during, without even thinking about it. It’s quite sweet.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Oh Charlie whacks off all of the time. It’s more often than not his only hobby when he is on his own and not in the bar. If he isn't smashing rats, plotting some bullshit with Frank, doodling in his dream book or breaking up Dennis and Mac fighting, he is tugging himself off.
Charlie also doesn’t need pornography to get off. He has a very vivid imagination and can get himself there by just making up something in his head.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Charlie isn’t into anything really whole heartedly, he likes a lot of this and that but more than anything he enjoys games. Not the classic sexy dice or strip poker, but more roleplay adventures. Knights saving Princes/Princesses but having to go through trials and riddles to do so. He loves making the most of the time he has with his partners!
L = Love (Do they have to love the person they are sleeping with?)
Not necessary but it really does help. Of course he still has a cling on to the Waitress and would consider her ‘love’ but that might just be obsession.
Charlie has never had an issue sleeping with someone ‘just because’. If it’s fun, it’s fun!
M = Measurements (How big are they? What’s going on in the undies??)
You’d be surprised. Fairly well endowed for his height, Charlie sits at a pretty 6 inches. Nothing too fancy but Charlie is happy with what he has and honestly doesn’t really think about it at all.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Public. Charlie really doesn’t appreciate the idea of people looking at him at his most vulnerable on their nightly jog or while walking their dog. Even the suggestion of it makes him squirm. He doesn’t want people to see his buttcheeks unless he knows about it.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Immaculate. As if he was dying of hunger and you were the last morsel of food known to mankind. He doesn’t give a shit if it’s messy, sloppy, or anything in between, he is just happy to be there. Whether it's a big ol dick or a juicy pussy, Charlie goes to town like the real champion he is. He especially likes it if the receiver pulls his hair, which means he’s doing a good job. He will 100% be found grinning into your genitals.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Mid range, Charlie paces himself without dragging himself down to a snail's pace. A nice rhythm (being musical helps with that) is set and he can keep to it like it’s second nature. He doesn’t really see that point in frantically jackhammering into someone. Why would you want to go that fast and it be over and done with?
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Going back to ‘P’ He would rather take his time, have some fun, play some games and actually enjoy the experience, but hey, he’s still a man, he won’t say no to a quick handy under the table.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
For someone who isn’t very cautious when it comes to his own safety on a day to day basis, Charlie really does keep everything almost entirely risk free. He would have to make sure he knew the exact plan before trying something new, especially if there’s any actual danger involved (Bondage/Wax play/ect.) He really does care if you are safe when you’re with him.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Considering how excited he gets, Charlie lasts quite a long time, the fact he enjoys more than just the penetrative parts of sex helps a lot. The games, the foreplay, the warm up.
He can only blow it once sadly, but he won’t make it an issue if you’re not finished yet!
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He doesn’t own them but his makeshift ideas for them are a little too makeshift. He has tried in the past to use an electric toothbrush, a dog lead, a rubber band ball, a fire extinguisher and a bowl of fruit in creative ways that didn’t quite end up working the way he wanted them to.
You can’t fault his creativity though! He tries.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Not too phased by teasing really, Charlie doesn't hate it or anything, it just never really comes up as a topic or attraction. He may engage in it a little without noticing but he really doesn’t go out of his way to tease people.
Teasing him doesn’t really phase him either, he gets a little lost if it’s too vague of a tease and just wonders why you two don’t just go have fun if that’s the goal.
V = Virginity (When did they lose their virginity?)
Charlie presumably lost his virginity to Stacy Corvelli in High School. He really doesn’t talk about it much if at all, it might be a bit of a sore subject so let’s just leave it at that.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Charlie surprisingly does NOT like to eat food in the bedroom. You’d think he would be eating mountains of cheese, pizza or cookies but no, he understands that crumbs in the bed aren't sexy and keeps it out of the area when the act is happening.
I mean, he still eats in bed when he’s on his own though, so his bed won't be 100% crumb free.
X = XXX (Do they watch X rated movies? Have they made one? Etc,)
He does but only old DVDs and VHS tapes, he hasn’t quite figured out how to get his old ass laptop to run a porn site without it downloading terabytes of viruses at a single click.
That poor laptop has seen too much anyway.
Y = Yell (How loud are they in bed and what sounds do they make?)
That squeaky voice ends up lowering quite a bit when he’s getting intimate. Charlie’s pitch rolls down to that of a regular guy and actually sounds pretty smooth. He is far more likely to breath heavy/loudly than actually say anything but when he does it’s something to the likes of “So good”, “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck…” or something incoherrantly yelled into your skin.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
You get roughly 5 minutes before Charlie is out for the count, he might not be dead asleep but he sure is useless after those 5 minutes are up. It’s ok though because he will give you the best cuddle you have ever experienced.
