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Chapter Text

Grian had to get away. His instincts were screaming at him to flee, to fly, to go as far away as he could manage. That being said, that is exactly what he does. Scrambling from his feet, he took off in a direction and didn't look back, not even managing to pull himself all the way up as his wings flapped to spur him forward. He was going to be okay, he tried to tell himself through his hyperventilation (Jeez why is that such a long word). The world around him faded into blurs of colors, voices called after him, hands reached for him trying to ground him, but that isn't what he wanted, it isn't what he needs. Panic clouds his vision, what he needs is everyone to just stop, but seeing as that wasn't going to happen, he let the builds get sparse around him, flying so fast even a skyscraper would look like nothing more than a prick in his peripheral. It doesn't matter though, even the boarder wouldn't take him far enough away, or at least that's how it felt.

The muscles in his wings gave a shudder at some point, he wasn't sure how long he'd been in the air, let along how long it had been since he had last seen a building. The tendons in his wings became more and more sore the longer he flew, he wasn't going to last long up in the sky, he knew this, and since he was seeking speed rather than altitude, he was rather low to the ground while flying. (Dammit forgot to blink) His eyes squinted and suddenly the world came crashing down, or he did, he wasn't sure which. 

The first thing he felt was pain, tumbling to the ground with a skip off a rock and into a tree, he heard a crunch, he winced at the noise more than the feeling of the pain. It was actually kind of helping, he realized. Pulling himself to his knees, he took in his own state. His wing felt limp, laying behind him hung down so that even some of his shortest primaries were on the ground. Okay, he though, no more flying, he can survive with that. 

Trying to pull himself to his feet, when he placed pressure on his foot, another sickening crunch graced his ears. Ouch, okay, it alright, no walking either, just great. But it's fine, no traveling long distances, not like he was close enough for anyone to find him, so he needn't run just yet anyway. Sticking low to the ground, Grian popped his head out of a bush hesitantly scanning the area. Seeing a small cave like structure wasn't what he was expecting but it was better than nothing especially considering he was in a bloody bush (lol season six where doc said nothing wrong with a full bush was definitely not the same circumstance as now). He made his way to it slowly, eyes mostly on the ground to avoid putting his hand on anything sharp that might be laying in the underbrush and could hinder his movement all together. 

A droplet of water hit the ground in front of the avian causing his stress to grow. If it was going to storm, he was in for a rough night. Looking up, there was in fact storm clouds on the horizon, threatening him, but they were too far away. A cool breeze brushed by alerting him to the growing wetness on his face, huh, since when had he been crying? A sob wracked through his body at that moment making him realize just how had it was to breathe still. If he had the air left, he would sigh at his own state and click his tongue in mock patience. Well, this was going to be quite the night wasn't it?

Finally reaching the spot he had set as his destination, he curled up into a shivering ball of feathers and blood, doing his best to ignore the ever throbbing in his wrists, the numbness from his ankle down, and the absolutely agony his wing was causing him. It is a common thing for avians to break bones what with them being hallow, but for most birds, it was a death sentence, and he couldn't help but feel it was the same for him despite his knowledge it wasn't and respawn was available to him. Even so, the panic he felt rise in his chest on top of the preexisting, was almost enough to knock him out. Almost. Scooting closer to the rocky surface of the wall, he could feel the jagged and sharp extrudes weave through his feathers and scratch at the delicate flesh underneath.

Finally as exhaustion was taking hold of his already frail form, he was the approaching clouds get closer as the light mist turned to downpour and a puddle began forming under him consisting of Watcher tears and the tears if the server itself. He found himself with no power to move regardless so he sank further into a sure to be unpleasant slumber with an even more unpleasant awakening. 

Chapter Text

He sighed looking at his not so meager profits from his shops. It's not that he doesn't appreciate the support from his hermits, on the contrary, he appreciated it very much, but just the fact that they had trust in him worried him. Being admin isn't an easy task and his confidence in his abilities had plummeted after last month's coding issue that had left Bdubs on bed rest for weeks despite respawn being available. Looking at the sky, he noticed distant rain clouds, another sigh left his lips. Looks like his day would be cut short and he would be restricted to checking the code for the rest of the day as there wasn't anything else to be done when such weather occurred. 

Gathering his belongings, he made way to the air using his elyctra, soaring over the district slowly as he admired each view. Suddenly a figure gusted past him, warping the air around the voidwalker causing him to lose a little altitude as the wind fought against him. Glancing behind him at the passing figure, he noticed the wings they had on their back were tinted with purple. Shrugging it off as simply a hermit in a rush, he made his way back towards his base. Or at least he was going to when he heard a ping from his com. Landing so he could check it without fear of crashing, he pulled up the messaging screen and toggled it over to the visor of his helmet.

<Mumbo: What just happened> He was wondering the same, lurking in chat until he had more information.

<Scar: He looked so scared> Xisuma could imagine the elf biting his lip nervously, a habit he'd always had.

<Impulse: Maybe he just needs a little space>

<Stress: That wasn' a normal reaction, luv> This was taking to long! He needed to know what had happened, growling to himself he waited for a second gaining his composure.

<Pearl: We need to go after him, last time something like this happened, it didn't end well>

<Xisuma: Can somebody fill me in?> If he had been speaking, it definitely would've come out sharp and with mild murderous intent towards any who looked guilty.

<Stress: Prank wars wen' too far an' Grian ran off, ended up scarin' the fella and he flew off in a tizzy afta we wen' over to make sure 'e was alrigh'> Okay, that's more like it, info he can actually work with. Even so, it did nothing to calm him, if anything he was more upset. He had to shake it off though, his hermits needed an admin, they needed him.

He was already in the air again when he had typed out his response. <Xisuma: Let me get home, I'll make a start on locating him, then we'll have a search in the area>

<Stress: Bes' make it quick, luv.>

<Ren: Looks like rain, my dudes, stay safe.>

Dammit, he forgot there was a storm coming, realizing that meant unstable winds for fliers, possible flooding, and increased mob spawn, he realized it would be quicker for him to just teleport. Space and time warped around him after he thought of the coordinates of his base. In a pop, similar to enderpearl transportation, he was back at base, rushing inside and plopping down, opening the code in front of him. He hoped he could locate the avian before any real damage had occurred. 

Searching the code had taken far longer than he would've liked but he had a rough idea of where the mia hermit was now, but with the possibility of him dropping his com, he couldn't be certain, after all if there is a chance something can go wrong, it probably will.

<Xisuma: I have an approximate location, is anyone available to come with> Dozens of dings from his com later, he had a small group assembled. It would take them a while to even reach the area, if they didn't have elyctras, it might've been days. Taking off they were in for a long flight, amongst them was Stress, Mumbo, and Scar of course, but also Pearl, Doc, and Impulse. Even with the normally charismatic bunch it was a relatively silent fly taking hours, flying close to the ground, having to yell over the rain that pounded on their backs and in their ears. X's vision was limited even with his helmet. The temperature change had it clouding up and the water droplets dripping down did nothing to help, he was stuck using nothing but coordinates.

By the time they had reached the area they were searching for, it had taken them until mid-morning the following day to reach. Upon landing, they gathered around their admin waiting for further instructions.

Clearing his throat, he spoke, and it came out a harsh rumble. "Alright, we are going to spread out to look, when we find him, don't approach if he still looks to be panicking, from my understanding that's what caused him to bolt last time, yes? So, message the coordinates the second to find him or any sign he might've been here. Scar go east, Mumbo go Northeast, Stress North, Pearl North-west, Doc West, and Impulse Southeast. I'll take south and southwest, hopefully if we get closer, I can get another ping from his com. Alright, head out."

Nervous grumbles were heard before they diverged, heading in opposite directions. South there was an ocean, so that cut off that direction. His com was still working so, don't hold your breath, but the voidwalker had hoped he didn't drop his com on purpose and dive into the ocean. If he had, the weight of his wet wings would drag him to the bottom to become nothing but chum for their less than welcome spawns. Shuddering at the thought, he began looking more to the east. There was a bit of a marsh so the ground that he could see would swallow his boots, trudging through it was no easy task. Halfway through the tedious search of the area his com pinged; the messaged auto pulled up on his helmet. It was Scar with a set of coords a dozen hundred blocks away. 

Both anxiety and relief flooded him, he hoped it was their friend. There was a chance it wasn't though, and he knew this. Bending the world around him again, he teleported to the location instantaneously, god this was going to be an exhausting day. The area that flooded his vision was something he wished he could erase from the elf's memories. The terror struck look on his face made him look like he was about to vomit.

"Stay here, have Mumbo come to you. I'll take a look." The rock in front of him had splatters of blood and colorful feathers. Parrot feathers, he thought, as he recalled the type of hybrid Grian was is.

Following the trail led him to skids of dirt and mud down the hill that led to a thick tree that had branches on the ground around it and a squashed bush with a blood dancing on some of the leaves. Weird, X thought to himself. it had rained, so wouldn't that mean the blood would've faded? Shaking the uncomfortable feeling that thought had given him from his brain, he continued to follow it to the base of a cliff that had a pile of what looked like bloody feathers. Approaching slowly, he made his way towards it, hoping to the void that his friend was okay, and this wasn't a sign of his demise.

Upon further inspection, the pile was moving slightly, breathing. Steadying himself, he brought himself closer, attempting not to rush forward and scare off the bird boy. "Grian?" The soft whisper came flowed off his lips, but that was enough to startle him awake. He looked around frantically before his eyes looked onto his admin. One of his wing's feathers flared up, the other sitting behind him limp. Silence engulfed them and it was clear Grian was trying to think of a way out. 

Raising his hands to show he meant no harm, he approached slowly, kneeling on the ground as he made his way closer. Silent tears began running down the avians face, eyes still wide and posture tense.

"It's okay, I just want to help Gri," The admin spoke again. His ever-growing proximity making him nervous, he backed up as far as the rock face would allow. Grian shook his head, no words were spoken as he seemed to regain some sense of what's around him, actually around him.

Finally reaching him, Grian made no attempt to move, seemingly submitting to his fate, head hung low and tears freely flowing. He still remained silent. Xisuma, recalling some of the things he had learned regarding trauma responses, realized perhaps this was selective mutism. Easy enough to deal with, as the admin of the server, he had grown accustomed to being able to tell discomfort based on body language and the sort, it was an important part of his job that many others would overlook.

Reaching for the avians form was met with a hard flinch but he didn't stop regardless, rubbing small circles into the palm of the others hand. "Nobody is upset, you pretty bird. They are worried about you."

Silence came from Grian again. No matter, it was almost expected. "Let's get you home, yeah? Then I can take a look over you proper." With a shrug, Xisuma took that as an okay, getting up and attempting to pull the other to his feet behind him. Grian winced almost immediately upon putting weight on his foot. Xisuma gave him a worried look. Communication wasn't his strong suite, but he was trying. 

"Can I carry you?" Grian shrugged again, alright. He scooped the hermit up gently much how you would cradle a toddler, sent off a message on his com letting the others know it was time to head home, he had found him and he was okay, injured but alright.

X, having no patience, teleported them to his base with a thought. His patience was far outweighed by his concern for his friend. Setting Grian down gently on his bed he went to grab the first aid kit. 

"Can I take off your shirt to see better?" Another shrug. Pulling up the code, he simply removed his shirt that way. 

"No foreplay, X? I thought you knew better." It was Ren, having known Xisuma would return with his feathered companion. Grian, however, backed away as quick as he could manage. 

"Oh, I can see I'm interrupting, sorry dudes. I'll head out, glad to see you safe, G." Ren left as swiftly as he came in. Still looking a bit uncomfortable, X made his way back to him after locking the door. 

"It's alright, let me help. I locked the door." Calming a little at that, a trill came from the avian. "We'll get you fixed up, don't worry, pretty bird."

Chapter Text

Grian had been in a right state when X had found him, his wing had been bordering on never allowing him to fly again (He would, X will make sure of that) and with his ankle being in the state it was, X was surprised the smaller of the two hadn't passed out immediately upon standing up when he had found him. That being said he was staying with the voidwalker until he was dubbed alright by Xisuma himself and nobody else. The distance between the two had closed significantly in the time spent together from the previous way their relationship was. It wasn't strained so to speak but it wasn't comfortable. Grian was always his charismatic self, so it was difficult to feel the tension between the two before but when the avian had been forced to stay with X, it was hard to ignore what with Grian not speaking. 

A soft coo came from the living room one day, after days of his hermit not speaking, X was accustomed to the bird noises that flowed freely from Grian's lips. They were the only verbal indicator of the others emotional state and despite lacking in the communication department, Xisuma was nothing if not a good listener. Strolling to the living room casually, the source of the noise was curled up on his sofa, the bandages on his wing having loosened slightly due to his shifting of positions. It wasn't hard to wrap a wing, as long as you were careful not to disrupt the flow of the feathers and made sure to change them often so that the feathers that were growing wouldn't be uncomfortable. No, what was hard about wrapping wings, the only difficult part really was that the bird or avian you were treating had to trust you. When Grian had allowed him to wrap his wing the first time, he had nearly gawked in shock that there was no fight, no attempted escape, no issue with it.

He supposes that must've been when he noticed the feelings he was so unaccustomed to having. Things like rage, protectiveness and anxiety came easy to him, suppressing them, not as much, so when he noticed his overall protectiveness of this particular hermit, he suspected it was the same as how he felt for the others, he was simply more aware of it. That however didn't seem to be the case. X's had noticed some things; when he was far away, a yearning that he hadn't had before yelled at him to go home; when he was in another room, he felt the need to check on him repetitively. So when Grian's call of mild discomfort echoed through the base, he couldn't simply put aside the need to see him now. 

"Hey, G. Can I redo the bandages?" His voice was unusual even to his own ears. Never before had he spoken with so much care allowed into his words, preferring to keep an emotional distance at all times. A mildly happy chirp came from between his lips as he sat up and removed his shirt stiffly. Void magic had a bit of an impact when used too much around those who weren't accustomed, thinning the air and causing mild hallucinations in severe situations, so X was keeping it limited.

Grabbing the bandages out of his pocket and setting them on the close by table, he sat behind the now upright avian and began unwinding the bandages from his torso, every now and then letting out a soft chirp of contentment.

Finally, all the bandages were off (of course only to be replaced for now) and Grian gave a full body shake, wings fluttering gently, before allowing X to replace the bandages. Wrapping them tightly, Grian was letting out a shiver every time X brushed his skin, it wasn't frequent. Once finished Grian hadn't put his shirt back on, and under different circumstances, X might've admired the latter's build. He was thin of course, metabolism running much differently than a normal hermit, but god was he toned. His stomach, had he been standing, had ridges of muscle definition, left right and center (Literally!). His shoulders smooth but freckled heavily, reminding the voidwalker much of sprinkles, it would tempt anyone to take a bite. 

Leaving his thoughts, he felt a weight settle into his lap. Looking down a bit startled, Grian was laying again, this time with his head in his lap. With a shaky hand he removed a glove of his suite and began weaving his fingers through the smaller's (is that a word?) hair, it earned him a content trill. 

"You know G," He said, "I just want you to know, when you are alright to talk, when you feel like you can, you can always speak to me. I know I'm no poet like Joe and I'm not as good at comprehending emotions like Scar, and I'm certainly no Mumbo but I can listen. I can always listen. I don't want you to feel pressure it though. It's just always available and I want you to know that." He trailed off a bit towards the end, but somehow the words still reached his ears. A coo made its way past Grian's parted lips. Feeling a little bit of pressure released, much like opening a shaken carbonated beverage slowly, he allowed his eyes to close as well.

"Thank you." His eyes burst open; his head jerked down to look at the sleepy man. Their eyes met for a second before X leaned over him giving him a gentle hug.

"Of course. You're important to me, G. All my hermits are," he back tracked quickly hoping the admission avoided detection. It didn't of course but Grian, having regained pert of himself, would hold onto that info for later use.

~~

Hermits had been sending him shulkers full of diamonds and valuables all week, and frankly, Grian was getting tired of it. Even X had been leaving little things around the house with each passing day. He should know he didn't have to buy his companionship in the first place, not that gifts weren't welcome, but they weren't needed, the others were grating his nerves though and he was growing tired of it.

"They are just worried, birdy." X kept telling him. Grian still wasn't considered safe to fly just yet, but it was coming and he was longing for it. He missed the air, the wind on his face, the freedom that comes with it. It wasn't that he was growing tired of X, no rather it seemed the opposite. X was stuck in his office for days while working on code, attempting to straighten out what was going on with the moon. Grian had the slightest suspicion he might've caused this and the guilt was eating at him a bit. Between that and knocking on X's door making sure he was eating and sleeping properly, (Something he was infamous for, I'm sure) Grian was getting antsy. 

On a random Thursday afternoon, Stress had knocked on X's door (who does anything on a thursday?) and Grian had answered it mindlessly.

"Oh! 'Ello there luv! Did 'ja get da sweets tha' I sten' ova?" A bright grin across her face, obviously having been worried about him.

"I did, there were so many that even 'Suma and I couldn't finish them all." He had since found his voice though still would refuse to speak from time to time, something that worried X endlessly though he wouldn't voice it. 

"'Ow is 'Suma by da way? Ya keepin' 'im on 'is toes?" She asked with a giggle.

"Course, right now he's up in his room coding, though. But, yeah, he certainly has his hands full. He does his best to keep this pesky bird occupied and fed till he can fly again."

"Soon, I 'ope? I know lotta people ben missin' ya flyin' roun' causin shenanigans."

"Yeah, he says in the next couple of days I should be takin to the skies. Course with how hard he's been working, just doesn't feel right leaving him alone. Figure I'll go home after he finishes up with the bug."

"Da's nice o' ya! Well, I jus' came by ta visi' ain' gonna keep ya any longa! See ya soon."

"See you."

And with that he turned back to the empty feeling house feeling absolutely drained. It seemed like a good time for a nap, and if he began making a nest at X's, well who could blame him.

~~

It had been a few days and Xisuma was finishing the patch that should slow the moon's descent to a mere crawl. By the time it hit, they would be long gone from this server and the next, it was a huge relief for their admin. Feeling like he finally had time on his hands, he made to get up and stretch his legs, only to hear a quiet knock and the creak of a door opening.

"Hey X, can I talk to you?" He fiddled with the hem of his shirt nervously.

"Course, Gri, what you want to talk about?" The avian took that as an invitation and plonked himself down on his bed. 

"Everyone's sending me crap and I don't want their pity." X shook his head a soft smile gracing his hidden features. 

"They just miss you, birdy. They were worried it was their fault." Grian shook his head.

"It wasn't though. I mean it was, just well not really?" That confused the admin as he sat down next to the avian.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you remember how when Mumbo had found me, I was world hopping?" And X did. Very clearly, in fact. Mumbo had said he had a friend that had gone missing from his server under some unfortunate circumstance that he had reconnected with while he was world hopping. Xisuma was against it at first, very clear that his hermit's safety comes first. Mumbo, however, hadn't backed down until he convinced X to meet him to see for himself if he would be a good fit. They had agreed and set up a meeting on an old server where the avian impressed his pants off, making him feel like a derp for his overprotectiveness. He nodded.

"Well, the people that took me, not even people really, wiped all of our server, or at least I had thought they did until we found Pearl."

"Where are you going with this G?"

"Xisuma, it was the watchers. And they did horrible, truly awful things. Nothing compares to what they did to me, though." X, a little shocked, sat there listening intently, not really knowing what to say. Watchers are usually a thing of religion, not actually beings, you weren't meant to see them, and they weren't meant to touch players. "They made me one of them, X."

"They made you hate them then turned you into one? I didn't even know that was possible." Grian nodded looking a bit pale.

"I suppose that's why I reacted so poorly to that specific prank. They didn't mean any harm, I know that. But, Suma, it scared me."

"What did they do if you don't mind my asking?"

"It's silly really, it was just a room I couldn't get out of myself. It was fine at first but then, well I don't even know. The Watchers," The word rolled of his tongue bitterly, "Their whole thing was isolation, it was a punishment. Since I never really made it to the point of a memory wipe, it didn't have the affect they were after. I knew what was out there, and I wanted it. By the third time I had 'disobeyed' their rules, I was branded." He took a sharp inhale. "I suppose I could've simply said I was claustrophobic and made this a lot easier."

"Not that I'm complaining, but why didn't you?"

"The moon was my fault Suma." Xisuma looked at him shocked.

"You can't blame yourself for that, it wasn't anyone's fault."

Grian shook his head again, but X couldn't fathom how this in any way this related to him being a watcher.

"I panicked, I let control slip after not using the magic for so long. I caused this."

"Even if you did, it doesn't matter. Look at me." X put a hand under his chin forcing him to meet his eyes as gently as possible. "Everyone is alright. And, bonus, this derp put in a patch. It's not an issue we'll ever have to deal with." Relief flooded the avian's face. X never thought he'd look as calm as he did right then. Acting purely on impulse, X leaned in and placed a kiss to his temple, his helmet thrown over on his desk earlier.

A shocked look crossed Grian's features, and before he had the chance to wonder if he'd gone too far, Grian's lips were pressed firmly against his. Their lips moved in tandem, gliding across each other's messily. Pulling away for a breath, Grian gazed into his admin's eyes with a softness he hadn't seen before.

"I've wanted to do that for a while now." His breath brushed against the voidwalker's chilled lips. The void was cold, so it made sense that X also ran a bit cold.

"Me too," the admin whispered back." 

Chapter Text

The air was rushing around him, blowing back his hair and filling his lungs. His wings gave a happy flutter as he did loops and rolls in circles around X's base. This is the freedom he was missing. It was like part of himself that he didn't know he was missing had found its way back to him. A loud trill came from his lips as he swooped down and gave X a passing peck on his cheek before swiping up and doing another loop and soaring higher again. Finally, the bird part of his brain was content, and it felt amazing. X had his hand over his helmet to curb the glare while watching Grian soar through the air.

A smile danced across his lips as the avian did stunts in the sky, the likes of which could never be pulled off with an elyctra. Swooping down in a nosedive, he skimmed the water before softly crashing into Xisuma with a hug.

"Thank you, X. Thank you so much!" The admin chuckled, his gloved hand running over the back of Grian's head.

"It's amazing watching you fly, you know." Grian looked at him quizzically as a hand was placed under his chin. At this distance it was easy to see his eyes through the glass of his helmet. "You're beautiful."

Grian nuzzled into the gloved hand with a trill before pacing a kiss on the covered palm. If X's helmet was off, there Grian would see a blush dusting his cheeks.

"You're not too bad yourself." He pulled away with a wink. He let his hand fall to his side.

"Suppose this means you'll be heading back to your base?" X knew he couldn't let the disappointment seep into his words, a forced smile on his face despite nobody being able to see it anyway.

"Mhm. I'll visit though. I'd like to think I have reason to now." X gave a soft hum of confirmation.

And with that, Grian was in the air again, this time going home. Though, X couldn't help but feel that home was the wrong word. Home wasn't necessarily a place anymore, rather it only felt like home to him when they were together. Even so, anxiety filling his chest, he watched the avian sink into the distance, growing smaller and smaller until he wasn't visible. He sighed, heading back inside. He had to catch up on some of his normal admin duties anyway. Pulling up the code, he got to work.

~~

Days, it had been days since he had seen hide or hair of Grian. The server's activity levels skyrocketed making it difficult for the admin to keep up. Farms caused lag that wasn't comfortable for anyone, Doc's work had almost led to a server crash, respawn had been temporarily disabled due to a bug at one point and it nearly gave X a heart attack. It was just one thing after another leaving no time for a break. The phantoms that swooped over his base was a testament to just how long he had been working, the number was bordering on the hundred mark.

Sighing at his rumbling stomach and aching head, he resigned himself to his bed for a while, hoping for a little sleep before the next issue appeared. Just as his eyes were closing, a loud alarm popped up at his desk flashing red. Groaning, he got back up and began working on the next issue. Honestly, he didn't mind it as much as he normally would, and that was a sign of an issue. He missed Grian so much it felt like a hand was crushing his lungs at times, that being said, it was a welcomed distraction. 

After putting in his latest patch allowing Doc's dragon to become passive unless provoked, he was too exhausted to move. With his helmet resting beside him, he set his head on his desk for a moment before promptly passing out.

~~

"I don't know Doc, I found him like this."

"Well not'ing is wrong wif him exac'ly, looks like 'e jus' overworked 'imself."

"What should we do then?"

"Jus' let 'im rest fo' now. When 'e wakes up make sure 'e eats. 'E'll be alrigh'."

"Alright, thanks Doc." Blinking his heavy eyes, he hears a door close softly. With a stretch he takes in his surroundings. Oh, that's right, he fell asleep at his desk. Making a move to stand up, a wave of nausea hits him, nearly knocking him to the floor. Hearing the stumble from somewhere else in the house, Grian rushes into his room to assess the situation. X is just barely supporting himself with the chair he was sitting on previously, though it is shaking precariously, threatening to tip.

"Nope, let's get you in bed." The avian broke his support on the chair, before replacing it with himself and guiding his admin to his bed and pushing him back so that he way laying down.

"Missed you." The admin mumbled sleepily, his hand brought up to push the hair from the others cheek. His stomach chose that particular moment to rumble causing Grian to chuckle. Turning his head into the hand, he placed a kiss on the palm.

"Missed you too, X." He turned to get up when Xisuma caught his hand. "I'm just going to get some snacks. Then I'll come back and you can have your way with me. Just a little bit of patience." Grian stuck out his tongue and gave a wink before strolling from the room.

Allowing the hand to slide out of his grasp, he closed his eyes, a blush dancing across his features. A few minutes later and Grian had come back and was gently waking him again, pressing something to his lips. Opening his mouth, for the unknown object and closing his lips around it, he realized it was a finger. Giggling around it, he gave it a swift swipe of his tongue before allowing it to retreat. When he opened his eyes, Grian's soft eyes were gazing at him with amusement.

"Mm, why do you taste sweet?" X pondered aloud while the avian laughed at him. His tongue danced across his pale lips and Grian's eyes followed the action. Popping something in his mouth, he leaned forward, meeting his eyes before his gaze returned to his lips. Leaning forward, X met his and his tongue darted along the others asking for permission, it was a welcome action as X's strength was returning to him with each passing second. Grian opened easily, their mouths slotted together tongues gliding against each other's. It took Xisuma a moment to notice his mouth was sweet too, and he simply couldn't get enough.

"Mm!" Grian let out a hum as the admins hand came up and grabbed a light handful of his hair at the nape of his neck. The two parted slightly when the admin gave a light tug, a trail of sweet saliva between their tongues before the two connected again. Grian had since climbed on top of the admin, careful not to let his weight press down on him. With the new position, X Broke the kiss and lowered his head to lick a strip along the avian's neck. Moaning in surprise, he leaned closer, adoring the attention. Placing gentle kisses at first, X settled on a spot and bit down lightly just under his ear. Letting a soft trill fall from his lips caused Xisuma to groan into the action and change targets. His lips caught Grian's ear between them and he began nibbling on the tender flesh causing Grian to rock his hips into his with a happy chirp. X let out a low moan at the action, reciprocating it. Coming back to his senses, Grian pulled away with a pout.

"We can't." X chuckled at the avian. "Doc said you need food and to rest."

"I don't know what you mean, you look tasty enough to me," Grian shook his head, pout turning into a smirk.

"Real food X, and sleep. And when you get up, we need to talk." X cringed at the words and anxiety filled his being, doubts filled his head.

"Alright," Xisuma whispered back, trying to keep the fear off his face. It was never too late to be rejected.

~~

"Hey, Suma?"

"Yeah, G?" It had been a few hours since his nap and he had been promptly stuffed with food after waking before returning to sleepy cuddles.

"I think it's time we had that talk." X fiddled nervously and Grian, having his head resting on his chest heard the uptick of his heart jumping. "I just want to know why you let it get so bad without reaching out for help." Grian supplied softly, fingers tracing figures onto the back of the voidwalker's hand.

"I don't know, I just got busy. There was never any time to ask for help and, honestly, I knew I could handle it." The answer was thrown together as if recited time and time again, some might call it practiced.

"Don't give me that crap. Really X, why?" Huffing slightly at being caught, the admin resigned.

"I missed you. I missed you so much that waiting to hear something from you hurt. I didn't know when it would feel like I was home again." X admitted with a defeated look on his face.

"Why didn't you just ask me to visit then? I would've come over." That made him sigh. He just couldn't keep him grounded like that.

"The day you left, you were beautiful, you always are, but the look on your face, your wind-swept hair, the smile on your lips, you were captivating, I could never take that away from you without a need for it (cause he was in fact temporarily grounded when injured), for any length of time. I don't want to ever take the wind underneath your wings." 

"Even so, you might not see it but, I am happy here with you 'Suma. I'd wager just as happy if not happier actually. You can ask me to come over. If need be, I'll message you ever two minutes to let you know when I'm landing. Ask me, please, and I'll make it a point to visit as often as physically possible." 

X nodded, tears welling up in his eyes and for once he actually allowed them to fall. "I love you, pretty bird." Grian grinned wide, mischief swirling behind his eyes.

"I love you too, Eks-eye-zoo- ma- void." 

With a chuckle of indigitation X asked incredulously, "How did you just say my name?"

Placing a peck on his cheek, Grian spoke with confidence, "Xisuma."

Shaking his head he shot back, "If you say so, Gee-are-e-en."