Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Having nobility visit Camelot was always Arthur's living hell. He wasn't very people-y to begin with, and snobbing it up with royals who were usually even ruder than his father was hardly fun. The only people he really liked talking to, besides Merlin and on good days, Morgana, were his knights. People who, for the most part, did something to earn respect, or who carried themselves with humor or with kindness. 

People like Lady Vivian were Arthur's absolute worst nightmare. She was rude about everything, so far. Her dismissive comment towards Gwen's radiance made Arthur mad in a way he didn't even have time to unpack. Gwen somehow managed to stay kind to her, despite how Arthur could tell she missed her station with Morgana.

When he mentioned it to Merlin, Merlin eyed him humorously.

"What?"

"Anyone insulting Gwen should do so at extreme peril..."

"Merlin -" Arthur started.

"Oh, come off it!" Merlin laughed.

"Tell me you're not still on this." Arthur said. "Because if you are, I believe you have six more chores to complete before the feast tonight."

"I- What, no - I've got-" Merlin started.

"Come on. Hop to. I need you to mend my clothes, decently this time, including my socks, shirts, and don't forget..."

By the time Arthur finally shut up, Merlin had been given what felt like a hundred tasks. After mucking out the stables and completing all of his outdoor activities, he retired to Arthur's chambers to tidy, re-embroider, and mend Arthur's socks.

Merlin was actually quite capable of sewing, and he remembered a time where he actually made clothes for his mother. She had taught him really well, but Merlin learned a serious lesson in Camelot: if he completed an assignment to the best of his ability, he'd be held to that standard for all time . It wasn't really worth the trouble, in his mind. But still, he took Arthur's words seriously for once - this peace conference was important, so Arthur should look his best. 

Merlin sprawled out on the floor, humming a bit, while completing the left sleeve of one of Arthur's most regularly worn white tunics. It was beginning to thin a little, and Arthur might elect to throw the thing away, but Merlin put his best effort into mending it, because he silently assumed it was one of Arthur's favorites. Because of the thinness and the sporadic holes in the garment, he elected to embroider it with an off-white thread. It dipped down, following the ‘V’ cut, but it was also going to spread to the sleeves, if Merlin had the time for it. 

Arthur came in loudly, and Merlin had to remind himself not to flinch at the sound. 

"Merlin!” Arthur yelled, clearly about to list off more tasks for Merlin. Merlin refrained from rolling his eyes, even though he wasn’t even facing the man.

“Are…Are you actually mending my clothes properly?" Arthur asked, stooping down to pick up his socks. The way Merlin had sewn them, the holes were nearly completely invisible.

“Did you not demand that I do so earlier today?" Merlin asked, craning his neck around to face Arthur, who still stood behind him.

“Just because I tell you what your assignment is, doesn't mean it's completed. Or even attempted..."

"What are you on about?” Merlin said, huffing a laugh. “When have I ever ignored you fully, not including when I was sick as a dog last month?" Merlin retorted, turning back to his task. 

"Mm. Let's see. The last time I asked you to mend my socks, you found a gaudy blue thread, and used a completely useless zig-zag stitch on them. I had to borrow Gwen to have them repaired." Arthur said, rubbing his scalp playfully and holding the socks in his other hand toward Merlin’s back.

"In my defense, I was very busy that day, and not in the best of spirits." 

"Oh, yeah? Busy doing what?" Arthur asked. Mentally, he counted to three.

"Collecting herbs for Gaius!" 

"Collecting herbs for Gaius." 

"You know, that's what you always say. And yet, I find it hard to believe, considering not many plants native to my land are meant to be collected at night ." 

Merlin felt bad. He always did. Moments like this, he entertained the fantastical idea of saying ‘fuck it’ and ripping the bandage off. He longed for Arthur to understand his inane lies and ramblings, instead of hating him for doing so.

Arthur felt bad. It wasn't fair to chastise Merlin when he was doing an excellent job so far. Assuming nothing went wrong during the banquet or the late-night conference, Merlin deserved some decency. However, he still found himself frustrated that Merlin would so obviously lie to him. If it wasn't herbs for Gaius, it was rats. If it wasn't rats, it was moths. If it wasn't moths, it was some teasing and ironically spoken story that would be weirdly specific yet hardly memorable. Arthur was fine with one of those a month, at the most. But Merlin was really pushing his luck as of late.

Merlin sighed and sat criss cross on the floor, facing Arthur. When he turned around, Arthur could see the work he had been doing.

"What is that?" Arthur asked.

Merlin's eyes went wide, and he looked down. He looked back up, still having a very ‘deer caught by hunters’ look about him.

"No, no, sorry. You're not in trouble, I mean... can I see it?" Arthur said, lowering to his knees, trying to make out the design. His words were spoken like how Merlin expected a father would speak to a son, which made him nearly laugh.

"Oh. Sure. Sorry about it. I knew it was one you wore more, but even after asking all the maids and searching my threads at home, I couldn't find a white to match it perfectly. So, I..." He trailed off as he locked eyes with Arthur. 

"I knew it was a risk since you might just throw it out anyway, but..." Merlin paused. "The more time I spend on this, the less time I have to spend mopping your floor again or clearing your desk again." Deflection.

"You've done a great job on this. I won't be throwing it out. I rather liked this one, even with the holes." Arthur took it in his hands as he stood. He looked toward the window. 

"How long did you spend on all this?"

"Uh..." Merlin twisted to look at the window behind him. "I don't even know. Before your practice began... But I'm hardly done with it." 

"I can see that." Arthur said flatly. The two stared at each other.

"Go get me something to eat." 

"But won't the banquet be pretty soon?"

Yes. But servants aren't allowed to eat during it.

"Yes, but after knight’s practice and escorting Lady Vivian around the castle, I'm famished." 

"If you're what passes as famished, I hate to imagine the bodies of the poor."

"Merlin . Quit calling me fat, and go get me a platter."

Arthur glared at him. Merlin put up his hands in defense, and left.

What Merlin didn't realize was that Arthur wasn't asking for the platter for himself. He knew that Merlin had completely lost track of time, and wouldn't be able to eat until much later that evening, when he'd likely be too exhausted to.

Merlin made quick work of collecting a few of Arthur's favorites from the kitchen. And hey. If he snagged some extra biscuits that Arthur didn't even eat much himself, that was strictly his business. By the time he was satisfied, he had collected a nice array of chopped fruits, cheese, biscuits, and a dollop of honey for dipping. Arthur had introduced him to the world of honey on fruits, and now, he had grown quite spoiled. He'd made sure to get honey enough for them both to enjoy.

When he returned, Arthur was stripping off his shirt, likely to bathe.

"It took you long enough. Get lost?" Arthur asked.

"It took me no time at all. You’re hardly defending your honor against my accusations of your, ahem, larger build." Merlin said, setting the tray down on Arthur's bedside table. Silently, he turned and left to fetch water for the basin, because he knew that Arthur would bathe after eating.

Surprisingly, when he returned for the final time and had the basin heated to a steaming temperature (of course, via magic), he noticed that Arthur hadn't so much as picked a biscuit from the tray. Arthur brushed past him, giving him a ‘shoo’ gesture. He indicated for Merlin to go sit.

"Arthur? Are you alright?" Merlin asked. His eyes darted to Arthur’s bed, before flicking back to Arthur.

"Physically? Yes. Mentally? Not with how boring my night shall be." Arthur languidly stretched, making steps toward the bath. He touched his hand in, making sure it wasn’t boiling. Trust issues. 

" Please . At least you get to sit." Merlin said, still silently asking for Arthur’s permission to sit on his bed. It was where he had gestured, but Merlin rarely sat on Arthur’s bed without him.

"This is true." Arthur said. His gaze gave Merlin approval to sit down. 

"Well, you took too long to fetch the tray. I no longer want it." Arthur flung a hand noncommittally. 

"You're joking." Merlin said flatly. 

"Mm, no, I'm quite serious." Arthur said.

Arthur stripped his trousers and smalls off before stepping in the bath slowly. Despite his hesitation, he made quick work of soaping and rinsing himself.

Merlin laughed a bit to himself. He turned his gaze with a very slight shift. If Arthur had wanted privacy, he could have properly asked for his changing screen, but he never really fiddled with that sort of etiquette. 

"It's all yours, Merlin." Arthur called over his shoulder, still wiping grime and sweat from his arms.

"Please, like I could eat all of this! You knew I'd get enough for us both, why refuse any of it?"

"Your idea of ‘enough for us both’ is enough for me and scraps for yourself. You're not going to get a break for hours, and you'll be standing for at least three." Arthur said seriously, finishing his work in the bath. It seemed he wasn’t in the mood to relax in it, which made sense given the time of day. Usually, Arthur took longer when he knew he had the freedom to, at night. Other than that, it was almost a mechanical process. The only deviation, or rather, combination of the two, being when Merlin was asked to assist.

"If my comments have gotten to your head, you should let me know, Sire." Merlin said, looking at Arthur’s face. Merlin picked up a piece of an apple. Arthur searched his eyes. "Because I'd be happy to make more." Merlin bit down on the fruit he was holding.

"You-" Arthur truly laughed now, the room slightly echoing. It was a rare laugh, the kind that made Merlin follow suit just because of the sheer joy in it. Merlin was a little self-satisfied about it. 

Arthur climbed out of the tub with practiced grace. He grabbed a clean sleep tunic and his smalls from where Merlin had laid them out and made quick work of dressing.

He walked over to where Merlin was sitting on the bed, getting on his self-designated side; Merlin’s right.

"Merlin. I am going to be bored for the next few hours. Sit and talk to me while we clear the tray, hm? We have some time before I must get dressed." Arthur said, gesturing to his tray beside him.

It wasn't unlike Arthur to share his food a bit more willingly lately. Nor was it unlike him to want to talk to Merlin, or rather, listen to Merlin talk. But to have both happen at the same time felt a little special, and Merlin felt his cheeks pink slightly. Merlin shook his head, as if the action would make the pink dissipate.

"Oh, have you heard about Garett? Apparently, he's in big trouble after..."

Chapter Text

After some much needed time to talk about castle gossip and quickly snack on fruit and biscuits, Merlin made a move to stand. The tray had long been cleared, so Merlin moved it to Arthur’s desk where he could collect it later. Arthur looked like he wanted to sigh, but he refrained from displaying his displeasure. He silently followed Merlin over to the changing screen. 

Merlin picked out Arthur’s clothes for the day, since Arthur didn’t indicate that he wished to do so himself. He helped him out of the sleep tunic and replaced it with one of Arthur’s classic red tunics. This one had a very deep ‘V’, so he made sure to grab Arthur a jacket for the day as well. Once on, Merlin brushed down the sleeves of Arthur’s jacket. Arthur made a face.

“Fetch me another.” Arthur said simply, a slight scowl on his features.

“And who might you be trying to impress, Sire?” Merlin asked.

“Well, let me see. Perhaps the five kings sitting in the banquet hall below.” Arthur said, shrugging the jacket off.

“Oh. Not the King's daughter, then? Lady Vivian, she is very beautiful.” Merlin said casually, still trading out the jacket for another.

“Anyone trying to impress Lady Vivian does so at extreme peril. Olaf would have their head in a vat of hot oil before they'd have a chance to say hello.” Arthur countered.  He stuck out his arms for the new jacket Merlin was helping him into.

“Besides, she's not my type. She may be beautiful, but she's incredibly rude. I already told you what she said to Gwen.” Arthur elaborated.

“About that. You never gave me a straight answer, you know.” Merlin started, while he grabbed at Arthur and turned him, making sure his tunic was tucked in the back. “Gwen. Do you care for her?” Merlin asked, wishing he waited so he could actually see Arthur’s face.

“Merlin, I’ve had enough of this discussion.”

“Well, I haven’t. I want to know.” Merlin said, spinning Arthur back around. Their eyes were locked, both unyielding. Merlin blinked.

“No. I don’t think this is… an adequate time for things like that. That is to say, I care for her. As I care for any of my companions. But now is just…” Arthur trailed off, breaking eye-contact.

“What’s wrong with Gwen?” Merlin’s gaze chased Arthur’s, silently asking him to look him in the eyes again. 

“Nothing.” Arthur said, acknowledging Merlin’s silent challenge. He stared at Merlin easily.

“I think she's very worthy of your love.” Merlin continued.

“Indeed, were it so.” Arthur said. It wasn’t bossy, but there was an edge of sternness. A firm declaration that wasn’t to be argued against any further. Merlin knew he was being truthful, now, but he still felt like it was lacking some dimension. 

Merlin opened his mouth as if to say something else, but he closed it again and said nothing. It was Arthur’s turn to shoot a look of entertained confusion. 

“I know that she’s your best friend, Merlin. I hope that you aren’t mad at me for how I feel. Or rather, how I don’t.” Arthur said.

“You can’t help how you feel. I was just worried you weren’t being truthful.” Merlin explained. “But now, I believe you. I’m just trying to support you, Arthur. That’s all.” 

Arthur thought about that admission. It made sense, really. Merlin might tell him idle castle gossip, but he hardly engaged in it otherwise. And if he were to gossip about the Crown Prince, it would be at a severe risk to his own sake, so… No. Merlin was not conspiring. Not even for Gwen’s sake. Arthur could see that, now. 

Merlin silently indicated that he was done dressing Arthur. Arthur nodded. 

“Right. Well, it’s probably about time for us to escort Vivian to the banquet hall.” Arthur directed. Merlin titled his head and followed Arthur, who led them both out the door.

They remained silent, putting on a convincing enough servant-prince act for the guests (and for Uther’s peace of mind). Merlin didn’t look up from the floor as he swiftly followed Arthur’s footsteps. 

It took them no time to reach the guest chambers. Arthur knocked politely. 

“Lady Vivian? I’ve come to escort you to the banquet, if you find yourself ready to go.” Arthur said, voice confidant but mildly disinterested, perhaps even to a stranger’s ears. 

The door opened at once. Vivian stood there with her lips pursed. Merlin didn’t have to look up to feel her pointed gaze, as it was sharp enough it felt like it cut straight through Arthur to reach Merlin.

“I doubt I needed assistance. Your castle is far too humble for anyone to find themselves lost.” Vivian said, though she still grabbed Arthur’s outreached hand. “Let’s get this over with.” 

Arthur managed to refrain from reacting, but Merlin knew the two of them would be talking about this much later. The three of them headed for the banquet hall. If it was silent on the way to get Vivian, then this was trying on deaf ears. No one said anything. No one breathed perceivably. Merlin repressed shivers.

When they made it to the banquet, Uther, Olaf, and Alined were already seated, the three of them almost as awkward as Arthur and Vivian had been. It was a discomfort that was only discernible to Uther and Olaf’s children, of course, keeping appearances enough for the rest of the world around them.

Arthur helped Vivian to her seat, fighting the urge to say anything when she batted his hand away. He instinctively looked to Merlin, who was already poised as a proper servant behind him. He forced himself to look away as he made his way to his own seat. 

Please let this night be swift was a silent prayer in Arthur’s mind as he plastered on his typical faux smile.

The banquet was not quite as long as anticipated, but Merlin's feet were becoming sore from standing, as they usually did. Recently, he afforded himself to zone out of these things a bit more, being used to his work and somewhat of a secure station, but he still tried to keep his mind focused. 

The only thing keeping him grounded in reality was the Trickler’s display of what seemed awfully close to magic. Merlin felt uneasy with the stranger’s actions. He made a mental note of it, but tried to keep his face emotionless or at the very least, as pleased as the rest of the guests and servants looked.

Without anyone noticing, the Trickler managed to steal a lock of Vivian’s hair. The Trickler looked to his King, who was extremely self-satisfied. 

The Trickler’s 'performance’ ended quickly after he got what he needed. Merlin kept his eyes on him, even as he poured wine for Arthur. Still, there wasn’t much to do but speculate. 

By the time the banquet ended, Merlin had forgotten all about the butterflies that appeared from the Trickler’s hands, focused only on the exhaustion in his features.

Arthur retired to bed and Merlin followed suit.

Unbeknownst to Merlin, King Alined and the Trickler waited at the end of the corridor. The two of them had made their love-spell, and they successfully dropped the potion in Arthur’s sleeping eyes before Merlin arrived for his duties the following breakfast. 

A lock of Vivian’s hair was shoved under Arthur’s pillow, also by the Trickler.

“Sweet dreams” whispered the Trickler harshly.

Chapter Text

Merlin was surprised to see Arthur awake and dressed when he came to deliver his breakfast. 

Arthur had been staring out the window, a displeased look on his face. That is, until he turned around to face Merlin.

"Merlin." Arthur said. The tone was unique, and Merlin felt suspicious.

"Yes? Going to demand a different breakfast again?" Merlin asked, referencing an incident a week ago.

"Hm? Why would I do that? You're quite good at remembering my favorites." Arthur admitted.

Merlin scoffed. "Are you... feeling alright?" 

"Never better! Honestly, I just... I can't wait for these talks to end." He stood up. "Peace is great, so great, but I want to get back to what I love already." Arthur looked to Merlin, expecting him to take notes. "I want to schedule a hunt the second these talks end. "

Merlin blinked, but didn't seem alarmed. It made sense, but Merlin himself was not a fan of the knights' hunting trips.

"Who all will be riding out?"

"Just us." 

"Us? You'll have to be more specific, I meant, which of the knights-"

"No knights. Just us two."

Merlin looked at Arthur. He spun around. "You're aware that we are the only two people in the room?"

Arthur laughed. "Yes. Us. Two." 

"You know I don't like killing animals, why would we-"

"We'll just say it's a hunt! We can pick flowers or stare at lakes, or whatever, but the point is, we're going." 

Confused didn’t begin to cover the look Merlin wore. Arthur laughed and stepped forward to grab Merlin’s shoulders. Merlin shrugged off his hands, still giving him an insistent look. Arthur dropped his hands immediately and sighed. 

“Tell me something. If I wanted to, let’s say, make a proclamation of love, how should I go about it?” Arthur asked. “What kind of thing would be most romantic?” 

Merlin blinked aggressively. “Arthur. You told me just yesterday you had no such feelings.” 

“I know. It’s hard to believe it myself. But… I’m in love. With a servant, no less.” Arthur said. “It feels so nice to speak freely!” Arthur said, an almost scary smile gracing his face. 

Merlin looked… small. “Right. Well, what will you tell your father?”

“What does my father matter?”

“Well, that's one way of approaching things.” Merlin said simply, looking to the ground.

“I need your help.”

“For what?”

“Expressing my feelings. I’ve hardly been honest in my life.” Arthur mused. “I don’t know how to impress… well. I’m asking you: what do you find romantic?” 

Merlin said nothing. 

“How to express my feelings.” Arthur repeated, stupid grin still there.

“Oh, I see. Erm. Feelings.” Merlin repeated weakly. 

“Feelings.” Arthur said.

“Girls.” Merlin said simply.

Arthur made a face. “I didn’t say that.” 

“Didn’t say what?”

Arthur frowned. “Perhaps I haven’t made myself clear. I’m asking you, Merlin, what you like.”

“Yeah. No, I know you wanted help. Expressing feelings. I just don’t think… Well. I doubt I can be any.” Merlin said. He was trying not to think too hard on what Arthur was saying, because it almost sounded like…

“Do you like flowers, Merlin?” 

“Do I like flowers?” Merlin asked.

“Yes. Do you like flowers? Or is that too girl-ish?” Arthur asked. “I really have no clue, myself. I’ve never gotten a flower before. Maybe it is nice. Have you ever gotten flowers, Merlin?” Arthur rambled. 

Merlin paled. This cannot be happening. 

“Maybe something else. Something from the heart. What do you think?” Arthur asked.

“I think… That I have got to go see Gaius! Yes. Right now.” Merlin said, happy to have found an out in this whole… disaster of a conversation. 

Arthur frowned. “Oh. Uh. I see. Yes, go see Gaius, but hurry back, please.” Arthur asked, his voice meek. 

“Yes. I will. I will be right back, Arthur. I promise.” Merlin said, hoping he could keep some semblance of normalcy. Arthur seemed to like it, because the frown dissipated. “Right.” Merlin said finally, turning on his heel and leaving.

Merlin walked a few paces out the doorway before breaking into a full sprint. He had no idea what was wrong, what could have happened, but he knew his best bet would be to ask Gaius.

When Merlin made it to Gaius' chambers, he was out of breath. He had stumbled the whole way, nearly stepping on other people's toes and tripping on air. 

"Gaius!” Merlin called as he flung the door open.

Gaius didn’t even flinch, bless him, having gotten quite used to this sort of ordeal by now.

“Merlin. What’s wrong?” Gaius said simply, not even turning to face his boy. That was an accidental kindness. Merlin wasn’t even sure he knew how to explain this problem.

“Right. I served Arthur his breakfast today, and he was,” Merlin started, punctuating his words with pants, “not himself. He was awake before I had gotten there. And he wasn’t making any sense. He’s not himself.” Merlin repeated. 

“So you’ve said. Any specifics?” Gaius said, still stirring… whatever he was working on. 

“Well, first he was really chipper. That was fine, I suppose, but then he asked me for advice on a 'proclamation of love'. He asked me for help 'expressing his feelings'." Merlin said.

“Oh. So, he’s finally acknowledging his feelings about Guinevere, then?” Gaius asked nonchalantly. 

“That’s the thing. He told me yesterday that he had no such feelings for Gwen.” Merlin explained.

“Feelings change. Sometimes, abruptly.” Gaius offered.

“Yes, but… I don’t know how to say this. It’s not Gwen he’s after.” Merlin said firmly. “It’s… it’s me.” Merlin tried to remain firm, but the end came off more like a question. Gaius turned to face him.

“Oh. You’re sure of this?” Gaius asked, still somewhat non-committal. 

“Well, first it was easy to ignore. He asked me to “schedule us a hunt” and I asked which knights he wanted me to post. He told me none, just the two of us. I told him I have no interest in hunting with him, and he said we could just stare at lakes and pick flowers. I honestly,” Merlin said, pausing for breath, “thought he was messing with me. He was not.”

Gaius nodded, beckoning Merlin to continue. Merlin couldn’t sit still anymore. He paced as he continued.

“He asked me about proclamations of love after. He asked me what I find romantic. I sort of froze, unsure how to answer a question like that. And see, I really wanted to think it was about Gwen! He even said he was in love with a servant, too, so I really kept thinking he just had a change of heart. But… when I was parroting his questions back, I said something about ‘girls’ and he… frowned? He told me ‘I never said that’ and then asked me, again, what I like. Then he asked me if I like flowers.” 

Gaius made a face. He seemed to be deep in thought. Merlin didn’t know if he should stop or not.

“The most obvious thing he said was that he 'hadn’t made himself clear' and that he was asking me what I like. He wasn’t just after advice.” Merlin said, finally not pacing, but shaking his head.

“I believe you, Merlin. Do you have any idea how this could have happened? Did anything happen between you two before this? Like yesterday, perhaps?” Gaius asked. 

Merlin had to try not to blush, even though there wasn’t anything particularly incriminating he could think of. He shook his head again.

“No. Things were completely normal yesterday. I mean… He was still in a good mood. He gave me dinner. Er, well. He had me fetch him a snack that I realize now was actually… for me. The whole time. He even said so, said that I’d have to stand for hours and he was… worried.” Merlin thought. “But still. That was nothing compared to today. Today he was very forward.”

“So it’s not unusual that he likes you, but unusual the method he went about it?” Gaius asked with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“What? No! It’s not like that. I don’t think... I don’t know! All I know is he told me to hurry back, and I have no clue what got into him.” Merlin said, slumping down in a nearby chair. 

“So, hurry back. Keep a watch on him, maybe there is something unnatural at play. Watch his eyes for discoloration, check him for any abnormalities.” Gaius said. 

“Yes, but… Well. How am I supposed to do… my duties… if he likes me?” Merlin asked. “I dress him. I have to do a lot of things for him in a day.” Merlin said, trying not to explain more intimate facts, like that he sometimes bathes Arthur. 

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Gaius asked. “That he likes you? Do you feel unsafe?” 

“No, not… Not really. But I don’t want to do anything that takes advantage of him. I think this has to be some sort of enchantment. I worry about our friendship after.” 

“Maybe this is an unfair or uncomfortable question to ask you, Merlin, but how do you feel about Arthur liking you? What if this is not the effect of a spell, but just Arthur?” Gaius asked. “You must prepare yourself for that outcome.” 

“I feel wrong entertaining it. I know there’s something off about this.” Merlin said, shaking his head. Gaius gave him The Eyebrow.

“But! If, somehow, this is just Arthur… As long as he’s being honest, I don’t… mind it.” Merlin offered.

“You don’t mind it?” Gaius repeated.

“I never thought it would be possible. But… I truly am dedicated to Arthur. I care about him profoundly.” Merlin said. 

“Out of responsibility?” Gaius asked, making sure to cover all bases.

“No. Yes? Not out of servant responsibility. Not out of prophecy responsibility. But out of a self-made one. I decided, myself, that I would do everything to protect Arthur. That probably would have happened no matter what.” Merlin explained. 

Gaius nodded. “Be careful. Go back to Arthur, check on him, and report to me later if you find anything.” 

“But I’m still lost on why this happened? Or how?” Merlin said.

“Sometimes, magic is not as predictable as we’d like for it to be. It’s entirely possible he’s under a spell meant for someone else, but that something didn’t go correctly.” Gaius offered.

Merlin paled. “I… I was the first person he saw.” 

Gaius nodded again. “That could be the reason. But there could be another. Don’t jump to any conclusions until we meet again later. We can’t be sure of anything yet.”

Merlin nodded grimly. “Thank you, Gaius. Not just for your help, but… You could have been judgemental. But the thought never even crossed my mind.” Merlin said with a smile as he stood up.

“I’m glad you feel safe with me. I’m grateful for your trust, Merlin.” Gaius said, making a move toward Merlin to envelop him in a hug. Merlin hugged Gaius back. 

They broke away and Gaius made a ‘shoo-ing’ gesture. Merlin smiled before turning and leaving.

Gaius looked back to the medicine he was working on. He’d have to start it over…

Chapter Text

Merlin bounded back up toward Arthur's chambers, but he didn’t rush himself as badly as he did the way to Gaius. 

When he made it back, he found Arthur sitting at his window seat, staring out the window, just like he had been the first time that morning.

“Merlin. You’re back.” Arthur said simply, turning to face Merlin.

“Yes. Sorry I had to leave abruptly.” Merlin offered.

Arthur waved a hand. “You hardly missed anything at the peace talks. It was as boring as ever.” 

“Oh. Right .” Merlin said, remembering that important part of the agenda. He really meant to be there for that, but his presence didn’t seem to be missed by anyone other than Arthur.

“Shouldn’t I get you ready for knight’s training?” Merlin asked.

“I canceled it.” Arthur said nonchalantly. 

“You- What? You hate cancelling knight’s training. You slump about when your father makes you cancel it.”

“Yes, well. I also hate not getting to spend time with you.” Arthur said earnestly. Arthur moved, grabbing something from his right. “Here. Though you never gave me a straight answer, I got you one anyway.” He held out a pink flower to Merlin.

“Forgive me if Morgana’s ramblings about flower language are lost to me. I don’t recall this flower’s name.” Arthur admitted.

“Ah, its Dianthus. Not sure about flower language either, but I do know I’ve made oil with them before. Can’t use the leaves, though.” Merlin mused as he held the flower. He smelled it habitually. 

“Right. Gods, was it stupid to get you a flower? You work with herbs, it probably just feels like more work, doesn’t it?” Arthur said, standing up. He looked like he was going to take it back, but Merlin retracted first. 

“No, not at all. It was…nice of you to do that. Thank you, Arthur.” Merlin said. Merlin looked at Arthur’s face, trying to see if there were any signs of an enchantment. Arthur was smiling, but it wasn’t as dramatic as the ones from this morning. Merlin thought carefully about the signs of an enchantment and what he could do to further analyze Arthur. 

“What’s wrong, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“Ah. I just… I was worried about you. You seem much different this morning.” Merlin admitted. 

“I do feel different . But it’s a welcome change.” Arthur said.

It might feel welcome now, but that’s not an indication it truly is. Merlin thought to himself. Still, the wording is interesting.

“How so?” Merlin asked, making a move to sit by Arthur. Not Arthur’s left, but Arthur’s right. If he doesn’t react to me sitting on the wrong side, I’ll know he’s under an enchantment.

“Well,” Arthur began, before standing up and moving to Merlin’s other side, “I feel happier. Better. I feel like I could enter a hundred tournaments and not tire.” 

Merlin repressed a scowl. He changed sides, which meant that Arthur wasn’t being fully brainwashed. Still, something was wrong.

“Oh? What made you so chipper?” Merlin asked.

Arthur gazed at his face. “It’s like everything finally makes sense.” 

“Everything?” Merlin encouraged. Now he knew how Gaius felt.

“I feel like I should be thanking you. I know I should, I mean. So I will. Thank you, Merlin.” Arthur said, looking away to stare at his hands.

“Thank me? For what?” Merlin asked, scared of where this was going. 

Arthur shrugged. “You do so much for me. I don’t deserve it. Now that I understand, I want to. Deserve it, that is.” He flicked his gaze back up at Merlin.

Merlin was almost speechless. What could he possibly say to that?  

“I understand now. When you love someone, you believe in their best version. Their full potential. That’s why you said all that stuff before. You love me.” 

“Stuff… I don’t-”

“And I feel like I finally woke up. Like I was just going through the motions and throwing away what I had!” He stood up again. He turned to Merlin. Merlin’s eyebrows were furrowed in sheer disbelief, shifting on his face with every reactive thought that crossed his mind.

“There’s so much I have to do. I still don’t know if I can believe in myself the way you can, but I can believe in you. And we seem to want the same things, so… Believing in you is basically investing in myself.” Arthur said, staring down at Merlin. Merlin looked like he was going to say something, but he was interrupted. 

“Have you always had those golden little flecks in your eyes?” 

Merlin made a very undignified noise and practically jumped five feet high. Arthur brought his arms up to catch Merlin. 

“Gotcha.” Arthur said, still staring at Merlin. Merlin looked anywhere but Arthur. 

“I get the feeling I’m bothering you.” Arthur said, not moving away from Merlin.

“It’s not that! I just… I think you’re acting differently. I’m thinking that, maybe, it could be… an enchantment?” Merlin asked rather than said.

“If by enchantment you mean being honest, then, sure. If you think that this isn’t what I’ve been thinking about since I met you,” Arthur said. “Then you’re wrong.” 

Merlin looked at him, and for the first time since he saw him this morning, he felt truly sorry for Arthur. He tried to flip things around in his mind and contemplate what it would be like if he were the one under the enchantment for Arthur, and he thinks maybe he would sound just like this. 

Merlin’s lips flattened into a straight line. “The problem with that logic is that you in this moment is not the same you from yesterday, if you’re enchanted. You can’t possibly know what that you, what normal you , wants. But I know it's not me.” Merlin said, shaking his head. 

Arthur huffed. “You find it that hard to believe?” Merlin nodded yes.

“I know I’ve been going about this wrong. There are many moments I am not proud of.” Arthur paused, searching for the words. “ I was rude to you, and it was wholly unwarranted. I know that there were instances I went too far, and as a result, pushed you away. I’m lucky you ever chose to forgive me, that you always showed up the next day, determined to be my friend. The truth is, I was being self destructive because I didn’t think-” Arthur broke himself off, looking to the side. He breathed deeply, then turned back toward Merlin. “I didn’t think I could ever have this.” His voice was the softest it had ever been, to Merlin’s ears. 

Merlin still hadn’t moved away. He was held in place gently by Arthur, the only thing keeping him from crashing to the floor, at least in his mind. Enchantments aren’t supposed to make you say stuff like that. Not stuff that convincing, stuff with that conviction… Merlin hated this, he wanted back the outlandish stuff. The outlandish part was tolerable because it couldn’t be real. But this… 

Arthur leaned forward with a very slight and patient movement, looking at Merlin. Merlin didn’t comprehend what he was doing until their lips were almost touching, and then he leapt away again. Arthur’s hands shot up from his waist to his shoulders, keeping him in place, but gently allowing him to move away. Arthur nodded.

“So… You don’t…” Arthur asked, genuine question lying there. 

“I… Arthur, it hardly matters what I want, you-”

“It matters to me.” Arthur said firmly, looking at Merlin with a fierce gaze.

“Okay. Well, I want to make sure you’re really as fine as you say you are. If you find a way to prove that to me, I… I won’t have any complaints. But for now, I have to say no, out of principle.” Merlin explained gently. 

Arthur stayed still for a few moments, but eventually he nodded. “I suppose that’s admirable. But if I prove it to you? Do you want the same things I do?”

Merlin gulped. There was no point in lying, was there? 

“Yes. I do.” Merlin admitted. “I tried my best not to think about it, but…”

“Why’s that?”

“Why’s what ?” Merlin asked.

“Why did you try not to think about it?”

“I guess… Like you, I didn’t think it would ever be possible.” Merlin conceded. 

The two were stiff now. Arthur didn’t want to make it seem like Merlin was to blame, that his rejection was wrong in any way. Still, he wasn’t willing to send him away, not just yet. He cleared his throat.

“My schedule is clear, without training. Shall we go for a stroll?” Arthur suggested. Merlin nodded.

“I think that would be good. Get you some fresh air.” Merlin said, punching Arthur’s arm playfully. He was eager to escape the tension of the room as much as Arthur was.

“I already got some. I picked that flower myself.” Arthur confessed.

“Oh, right.” Merlin looked down. He held the flower the whole time. 

Arthur nodded. “Well. Shall we?” He indicated toward the door.

“Yes, but first…” Merlin said, setting the flower down at the window seat, and turning to get close to Arthur’s face. He looked into his eyes, obviously searching for something. It was a moment where he really did favor Gaius, despite having no blood relation to the man. Arthur fought an amused smile as he watched Merlin continue his administrations. 

Visibly, Arthur’s eyes seemed the same. Merlin looked him over, staring at his ears, neck, trailing down to his shoulders and arms. He grabbed Arthur’s hands, looking them over and flipping them to stare at the veins in his wrists. Arthur laughed jovially. The sound caught Merlin’s attention, and Arthur pulled his wrists away gently. 

“You won’t find whatever you’re looking for.” Arthur said.

Merlin sighed. “Let’s just go.” 

Arthur led the two of them out to the courtyard, but he paid no attention to their previously careful servant-master etiquette from yesterday. He wasn’t technically acting much different by talking to Merlin and waiting for them to be side by side, but he usually made an effort to look more distinguished when guests were in Camelot. 

Arthur looked at Merlin, not beaming or smiling, but with a look that told Merlin he was deep in thought. Merlin cleared his throat, but it didn’t make Arthur look away. 

“What are you thinking about?” Merlin asked finally.

“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone.” Arthur spoke firmly, but it was hardly a demand.

“Like what?” Merlin asked.

“Like anything. Just tell me something no one knows.” Arthur said, looking away momentarily to look ahead of them. He kept Merlin in his sight.

“Um. My middle name is Ambrosius.” 

“Ambrosius?” Arthur repeated, his lips forming a soft smile. 

“Yep. My mother said that it came from my father’s family. I don’t know how true that is, of course.” Merlin added.

“That’s actually quite beautiful. Ambrosius. Much better than Merlin, if you ask me.” Arthur teased. 

Merlin laughed. “Okay, then. What’s yours?” 

“My middle name?” Arthur asked. Merlin nodded yes. “You don’t know your future King’s middle name? Wow.”

“Oh, apologies, my Lord. Don’t take it personally.” Merlin teased back.

“It’s Bardhyl. Comes from a King long before me.” Arthur explained simply. 

“Bardhyl. I feel like I should recognize that.” Merlin said. 

“Bardhylis was his name, the King. It meant something like white star.” Arthur continued. “But if you ask me, it doesn’t have the same charm Ambrosius does.” 

“Glad you think so, Sire.” Merlin said simply. 

“Tell me something else. You know so much about me, and yet, I have so much to learn about you.” Arthur asked again.

“What don’t you already know? You know about Ealdor. You know I’m an only child. I’ve only lived in one place, until I came here.” Merlin rattled.

“What about the things we don’t have in common?” 

“What, like you becoming King one day? You already know how different we are.” Merlin countered. 

“What would compel you to tell me about yourself? To be honest for a change?” Arthur asked, stopping in his tracks.

“For a change? What does that mean?” Merlin asked, not hiding his offense. His eyebrows were once again rivalling Gaius’. 

“It means that I would like you to tell me where you’re always running off to. What it is that you get up to. What hobbies you have. What your handwriting looks like when you aren’t forging mine. I want to know everything.” Arthur insisted, searching Merlin’s eyes.

“I’m surprised to hear you talk so openly.” Merlin said as he stared blankly back, not knowing what to answer Arthur’s demands with. 

“I want to know everything about you because I love you .” Arthur said. Merlin’s eyes went huge and he looked around them. He saw Gwen and Vivian walking down the other end of the corridor. Arthur grabbed his shoulders. “I want to tell the world. I want to shout it across the kingdom.” 

Merlin put his hands on top of Arthur’s, moving them off his shoulders and holding them firmly in his. “Yeah, maybe don’t do that, if you want me to live! I’m pretty sure I’d be executed by your father if he heard you right now!” Merlin hissed. Merlin glanced around them again. The girls had continued their stride, not paying Arthur and Merlin any mind. 

Arthur stood there with an impatient look on his face. Merlin was still shocked.

“You’re the future King of Camelot! I’m just a servant!” 

Arthur’s hands tightened on Merlin’s. “You are not just a servant. You aren’t fooling me with this act of yours anymore.” Arthur said, shaking his head. He let go of Merlin’s hands, more for Merlin’s comfort than because he wanted to. “I’m going to prove it to you.”

“That’s not necessary.” Merlin insisted. 

“Yes, it is. I promise you, by the end of the day, I will prove to you I mean every word I’ve spoken. I’ll prove to you how much I care for you.” Arthur said. He looked Merlin over. 

“Take the rest of the afternoon off. Come back to me tonight, at dinner. My chambers.” Arthur said. 

Merlin gaped. This was a good opportunity to go update Gaius, but… 

“Are you… sure? You don’t need anything?” Merlin offered weakly.

“You deserve some time off. Usually, you beg for it.” Arthur noted.

“If you’re sure. I’ll be with Gaius, then.” Merlin said, giving a quick nod, and walking toward the Physician’s Tower. Arthur watched him walk away, before he shook his head and walked back to his room.

Chapter Text

Merlin made it back home to Gaius in no time at all. He didn’t have it in himself for any more running this time, but he kept a brisk pace as he walked. 

His mind felt fuzzy. He was still lost on the steps he’d have to take to solve this issue. 

He knew that he needed to examine Arthur’s room. He hadn’t really found anything incriminating in Arthur’s features, but maybe he was looking in the wrong places. 

He opened the door of the Tower easily, gaze still unfocused.

“Merlin. How is Arthur?” Gaius asked. Merlin looked around. Whatever Gaius had been working on before was long completed and jarred. The man sat with a book open, his attention now on Merlin.

“I couldn’t find any evidence of an enchantment. Arthur gave me the afternoon off, so, I can’t search his room until dinner tonight.” Merlin said.

“I see. Any strange behaviors to note?” Gaius asked. 

“The two biggest red flags are him giving me time off and him cancelling knights’ practice today. Other than that, he was… talkative. He kept asking me questions and wanted to learn more about me.” Merlin shook his head. “Though, this time, he confessed that he… well, that he thinks he loves me.” Merlin looked straight at Gaius.

“In those words?” Gaius asked.

Merlin sighed. “Specifically, he said he wanted to know everything about me because he loves me.” Merlin paled. “Oh, no.” 

“What is it?” Gaius asked.

“He said he was going to prove it to me. By the end of the day! He gave me time off to prepare something for me, I think.” 

“Well, you have no choice but to go see him tonight. Keep him from doing anything that will get the two of you behind bars. I have a deep worry I didn’t want to impose on you…” Gaius admitted.

“What? What is it?” Merlin asked.

“If this is some spell at play, and Uther catches wind, he’s likely to assume that… Well, that you cast it upon his son.” Gaius confessed. Merlin’s eyes got big. “You must keep him from telling anyone else how he feels about you. It could endanger your life .”

Merlin nodded grimly. “I did tell him that. He told me that he wanted to ‘shout it across the kingdom’. I told him that his father would kill me, if he did. Hopefully, he has enough sense to remember that.” Merlin bet that he would, considering how much of his normal bearings seemed to be in place. 

“How much sense does he have? How much different is he from usual, besides the obvious declaration of love?” Gaius inquired.

“That’s the thing. He’s kept a decent amount of his normal self, even if he’s more poetic than he has any right to be.” Merlin started. “I sat on the wrong side of him, it’s this weird thing about him - he always sits to my right - and he moved back to his designated side. And he kept up some of our normal banter, too. He’s not completely gone, showering me in love.” Merlin went on, thumb to his lip. He lowered his voice before continuing.

“But, he’s making me nervous. It’s almost as if he suspects I have magic.”

Gaius’ eyes went wide at that. “What makes you think so?” 

“He keeps pushing me to be honest with him. He’s brought it up multiple times. That, and he… He said something about seeing ‘golden flecks’ in my eyes.” Merlin looked up at Gaius. “I hate to admit it, but he scared me when he said that. I jumped six feet.” 

Gaius nodded. “Have you performed any magic around him?” 

“No. Er. Yesterday. To heat his bathwater. But he didn’t see, I swear.” Merlin insisted.

“Merlin! How many times have I told you not to use your magic for chores?” Gaius grumbled. “How do you know for sure he didn’t see?”

Merlin huffed. He hardly felt like this was the most important thing to focus on, but leave it to Gaius to use this time to chastise Merlin.

“You need more faith in me.” Merlin refrained from rolling his eyes. “Obviously, I was turned the other way. There was no possibility of him seeing my eyes. Or whatever else you’re going to list off to me.”

Gaius frowned and sighed. “I trust you know what you’re doing, Merlin.” Gaius said finally as he indicated to a stack of books on his left with his eyes. “I’ve done you a favor by going through these books to find any commonalities between potential love-inducing enchantments. We need more information to narrow it down.” Gaius bookmarked the book he was reading and shut it.

“Without any physical symptoms to note, that rules out almost half. Many more than you’d like to think induce vomiting.” Gaius’ face was expressive at his final word. The air in the room was a bit lighter. 

Merlin facetiously shuddered. “There’s been none of that.”

“And you should watch him for hair loss.” Gaius said, looking to some imaginary point, keeping his gaze distant.

“Hair loss?” Merlin asked incredulously. 

“It can be a side effect. Much like scientific medicine, those are the side affects that are not guaranteed. But they are possible, and should they occur, it’d be a rather unfortunate prognostic.” He flicked his gaze back to Merlin. “Did his room have a different smell?”

“Uh. I’m going to say no. I didn’t notice any smells.” Merlin said, his expression becoming more thoughtful than humorous. 

“That rules out some more.” Gaius said plainly. “Are there any suspects? Any semblance of how this happened?” 

Merlin thought for a few moments. “Not really. I’m still…” His eyes widened and shrank.

Gaius gave him a look. 

“The peace talks. King Alined. He, he doesn’t want peace. He and Uther, they’ve been terse. Not to mention Alined has this jester he brought with him. The Trickler, they call him. He was performing what must have been magic during his act at the banquet.” Merlin’s head moved around as he made his realizations aloud. Despite the nature of them, he seemed a little brighter for making progress on figuring it out. “I had forgotten about that the second I saw Arthur the next morning. But he made butterflies appear in his hand for the Lady Vivian.”

“The Lady Vivian?” Gaius questioned. “Yes, I see it now. He spelled Arthur to fall in love with Vivian. That way, Olaf and Uther would be at odds.” Gaius’ face took on his own familiar thoughtful look.

“Arthur told me. Olaf, he’s protective of Vivian. Oh, no.” Merlin said, slumping down next to Gaius. “I should be pleased we’ve figured it out, but I’m not.”

Gaius gave a small nod of understanding. “I’m sure this situation has been taxing on you. You hardly expected something like this to happen in your friendship with Arthur.” 

Merlin didn’t move. He couldn’t bring himself to nod. 

Gaius stared at him for a few moments. “Merlin?”

“How do you figure the spell didn’t work? That he didn’t fall for Vivian?” Merlin asked instead, not yet ready to address his own feelings on the matter. It didn’t go unnoticed to Gaius, but he didn’t want to force Merlin to say anything else just yet.

“Well, I suppose they only spelled Arthur, which is part of the problem.” Gaius started.

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked. 

“Well, you would have mentioned if Lady Vivian was a new factor.” Gaius said. “And spells like this one, love spells, they’re often more like… well. Love is hard to force. It’s difficult to create a link like that to begin with, more difficult to artificially produce one. Only casting the spell on one person is, luckily for us, more easy to break. With both of them spelled toward each other, I’m afraid our options would be more limited and King Alined and the Trickler may have gotten what they were after.”

Merlin looked to Gaius, silently asking him to continue. He seemed to be familiar with enchantments like this, and Merlin could use all the advice and insight he could acquire.

“To get Arthur to fall in love with someone he hadn’t already been in love with, they likely would have needed something of hers to ground the spell. Whatever they chose, it must not have been their best option. I doubt they stole her most prized possession. If they obtained anything of hers, it was small, like a hair or a tear or a piece of her dress.” Gaius mused. 

Merlin nodded. “Yes. When the Trickler was performing for Vivian, he was close enough to her. He could have gotten a hair. I don’t know about fabric. I think Gwen would have complained to me if she had to sew up a dress for her.” Merlin punctuated that thought process with an exaggerated look to the side.

“But, wait. I’m confused. If they grounded it, how could the spell just… not work?” Merlin asked.

“A number of reasons. Like I said, it is my understanding that the more valuable the link to her, the stronger it would be. Arthur may have a natural resistance to magic.” Gaius spoke like there was another thing to list, but he stopped himself short.

“Do you have your own theory?” Merlin asked, staring down the old man.

“You could say that.” Gaius said.

“Which is?” Merlin insisted.

“It’s more like I have a few. I think it is entirely possible that the spell backfired because of your bond with Arthur. The fact that he fell for you, that’s nothing that was scripted into the spell. They couldn’t have fully artificed that.” Gaius said, looking carefully at Merlin’s eyes. “Then, of course, there’s your innate magic.” Gaius said finally, verbally lying out all his cards.

“What do you mean my magic? You think I had something to do with it?” Merlin’s confusion was evident in every word.

“Indirectly, perhaps. Your magic could have… sensed something. You told me just today that protecting Arthur is something you would always care about. Your magic could have sought to protect him much the same way.” Gaius mused. “It could have altered the spell the only way it knew how, by offering another end to the magical link. And from what you told me, Arthur seems to be able to sense something, even if he’s not sure what he’s sensing. It’s possible that’s how he knows when you’re not being fully honest with him.”

Merlin thought about that. If this theory of Gaius’ had any merit to it, then things just went from bad to worse. Merlin would then have been right about taking advantage of Arthur. And not to mention, it seemed that not just one, but two of his secrets were being revealed, and one to Gaius on top of it all! He hadn’t wanted anyone to find out just how much he cared for Arthur, and his other top priority was preventing Arthur from finding out about his magic.

“But if that’s true, then can I… I mean, is it possible for me to just get rid of the spell?” Merlin asked.

“Well, we don’t know yet. We don’t know if your magic is involved, I mean. And perhaps, the spell was poorly grounded enough that when Arthur saw you this morning, you just happened to be the first person he laid eyes on and the latent power of the spell cemented itself.” Gaius offered, sensing that telling Merlin what he thought may have been a bad idea for the already guilt-riddled boy.

“What I do know,” Gaius started, making a move to stand up and grab a different book he had set to the side, “is that in nearly all of these, the only undoing they list is a kiss from Arthur’s true love.” 

“Gwen.” Merlin said flatly. 

Gaius thought about how different Merlin sounded now. The idea of Arthur’s true love being Gwen visibly pained the boy, when just days ago, he complained to Gaius about how Arthur and Gwen needed to be together. 

“Perhaps. Or perhaps, it really is you.” Gaius said, almost tentative, with what could only be described as the softest of grimaces painting his features. 

Merlin laughed. “Oh, sure. Me. He is anything but in love with me, most days, how could it-” Merlin broke himself off. “No. I know it’s Gwen.”

“What gave you that idea? Seriously, Merlin. Why are you so sure it's Gwen? Surer than Arthur, mind you.” Gaius argued, trying to understand what Merlin was thinking. “Do you think that it’s Gwen or do you think that it just cannot be you?” 

Merlin’s face betrayed his heart. Gaius was right, like usual. 

“I think they would be lovely together. I love them both, very much. I’d be… happy to see them happy.” Merlin said, eyes toward the floor.

“Yes, you sound so happy just thinking about it. Merlin.” Gaius’ gaze was stern now. “Be honest with me. Are you in love with Arthur?” Merlin said nothing, but his eyes confessed for him as he looked at his veritable father.

“Oh, Merlin. You could never let anything be easy, hm?” Gaius said jokingly. It fell a little flatter with how somber Merlin was. “Come here, my boy.” Gaius held his arms out, ready to envelop Merlin in their second hug of the day.

“You’ve hugged me more today than you have when I’ve been on death’s door,” Merlin said weakly with a sniffle, as he let himself be held by Gaius.

“There’s still time left in the day for that to happen, knowing you.” Gaius muttered.

“Or, you could say that I am, knowing that Uther is going to be…” 

“He’s not going to find out. You already promised me that. Don’t let Arthur endanger you, either of you , by letting his father catch wind.” 

Merlin only nodded in confirmation.

“Merlin, I’m going to say this to you without bias. I need you to understand that I’m being fully serious.” Gaius said, finally moving to hold up Merlin’s shoulders so he could look him in the eye. “It would be wise for you to try and break Arthur’s spell first. And if it doesn’t work, then you can go match-making Gwen and Arthur, but… Don’t go give that poor girl hope out of the blue until you know for certain that it isn’t indeed you.” Gaius said, looking at each of Merlin’s eyes.

“Do you really believe that it could be me?” Merlin asked in surprise. 

“I really believe it is you, Mer lin. Even… It seems to be the one thing me and Kilgharrah both understood.” Gaius admitted.

Merlin laughed again. “I doubt that’s what the dragon meant when he said that.” Merlin argued. He looked at Gaius who was still serious. “Was it?”

“Who’s to say? He’d be rooting for it, seeing how the two of you together would serve as a literal union between Camelot and magic.” Gaius said. “But I’m rooting for it because it makes the two of you much better people.”

Merlin smiled and laughed sheepishly. “Thanks, Gaius.”

“We have some time yet. We should keep researching. I can work on dinner, too.” Gaius instructed. 

“Don’t worry about my dinner.” Merlin reminded him.

“Ah, yes. You’ve got a date tonight.” 

Merlin hadn’t ever wanted to throw something at the old man, until now.

Chapter Text

Merlin studied for some time, putting together a well-constructed mental checklist of things to search for in Arthur’s room. The spell couldn’t have been placed during the banquet, seeing as how Merlin served Arthur his wine. That ruled out any laced food or drink, at least for while Arthur was awake. And, yes, it was likely that the spell would have been cast while Arthur was tired and had little in means of defenses. 

Gaius told Merlin to look out for any smells and told him what herbs he might find in a stashed poultice. If Merlin found anything, he'd take it back to Gaius just to be certain. He'd promised.

Now that it was actually time to head back to Arthur's chambers, he felt like he had been dropped in ice water. He felt cold and his heart was racing. He didn't know what to expect, how manageable the consequences of Arthur's little plan would be. He was terrified in a way he had never been before. 

He could barely think as he walked to Arthur's room. His eyes were glazed over. He passed by people, including a man who must have been Sir Leon, but none of it registered to Merlin's mind. Instead, he kept on his walk like a death march, until someone forcibly got in front of him. 

At first, he'd tried to just maneuver out of the way, barely blinking enough for his eyes to process who it was. Only when he went left and they went left did he realize he had to snap out of it. He shook his head and finally recognized Gwen.

"Ah, sorry. I didn't see you." Merlin said plainly.

"So I noticed. Are you alright, Merlin?" Gwen asked.

"Mm? Fine." 

"You don't look fine. I was looking for you, you know. I saw you with Arthur one minute, the next, I'm hearing you're gone!" Gwen explained.

"Oh. That. Arthur gave me off." Merlin said.

"Gave you off? Are you alright?" Gwen asked, more insistently than before. Gwen’s mind was racing - the idea that Arthur would ever give Merlin a day off when he requested it was hard to believe. No wonder Merlin seemed tense. He must have assumed the worst.

"Quite fine. I just have something I need to get to." Merlin insisted.

"Merlin. You can talk to me, you know. These past few days, I've truly missed you." Gwen admitted. 

"Ah. You're right, Gwen. I'm sorry." Merlin offered. "I'm afraid I really can't say much, but know that nothing ails me. At least, not physically." 

Gwen nodded. "It's about Arthur, I'm guessing?" 

Merlin looked at her with a pleading look. He wanted more than anything to tell her, but she was definitely the absolute worst person to tell at the moment. To think there had been a time where she had insisted that Merlin and Arthur had some sort of bro-mance, then Merlin turned around and played matchmaker for her and Arthur, and now, after senseless arguing, Merlin was genuinely in love with Arthur. He wasn't sure how Gwen fit into all of this. He didn't want now to be the way he found out. 

"It is. I'm afraid I can say no more at this moment. But I have to get to him for a matter most urgent." Merlin said. 

"One thing before you go, Merlin." Gwen started. "Will I be covering for you again tomorrow?" She didn't ask it in a mean-spirited way, but she, of course, didn't seem thrilled by the notion. Merlin didn't even think about chores like laundry that must have gotten passed down to her. 

"I'm afraid I'm not sure. I doubt it." Merlin said. "For what it's worth, I didn't ask off." 

"You didn't ask off?" Gwen said blankly, confusion evident in every word. 

Merlin shook his head. "He uh, he gave me off. Just because." Merlin explained.

"Merlin. You know he isn't mad at you, right? I spoke to him for a moment, he's-"

"I know. That's what's scary. But it'll be okay, and I promise to update you later." Merlin said. "If you'll excuse me."

Gwen didn't move and watched as Merlin left. She was concerned for her friend, but had no clue what was troubling him so.

Merlin kept on, barely worried about Gwen's concerns as he reached Arthur’s door. A guard he didn't recognize stood outside it. 

Merlin looked up at the man. The knight looked down and eyed him curiously. 

Merlin wanted to roll his eyes at having to tell a knight who he was. This kind of thing had happened before, but only one other time he could remember, and it ended with an apology for insolence. 

Merlin didn't technically outrank knights in Uther's kingdom in practice, but it was still penned in the law scrolls that young knights often knew best. So, as such, they tended to not only lick Arthur’s boots, but even go as far as to worship Merlin’s. It made Merlin deeply disturbed. 

"I'm Arthur's manservant. I was summoned to complete my nightly chores." Merlin said finally. 

The knight walked a few paces down the hall and refused further eye-contact. Merlin blinked.

Merlin opened the door, of course, without knocking. He stepped inside. 

Arthur's desk was in the middle of his room. More Dianthus flowers were on the desk around the food. Arthur's room was very warm, meaning that Arthur or a servant had been keeping up with the fire.

Now that Merlin was fully in the room, he could smell and see the food clearly. It was a beautiful array of many of Merlin’s favorite desserts - plus many he had never tried! Strawberye and strawberry tartes caught Merlin’s eye immediately, as he had never gotten to try a strawberry, let alone either of these elusive favorites of the court. Gaylede was a familiar sight and taste, next to Prince-Brisket which he also recognized. Rastons and some sort of fowl and spinach tartes seemed to be the main course amongst all the sweets. 

Merlin’s eyes betrayed him, his excitement visible on his features. 

“What… What is all of this?” Merlin asked wistfully. 

“Ah, Merlin.” Arthur spoke coolly, more suave than he had any damn right to be. He was sat on his bed with a book, relaxed. He set the book to the side, making a move to meet Merlin at the table. 

“I decided to let actions say what my words so often fail to. I did a little digging. I found out more of your favorites.” Arthur said, every word soft and light. “The strawberries were my idea.” 

Merlin stood deathly still, but color had finally returned to his face, thanks to blush. 

Arthur chuckled. “Or were you being literal? I know you haven’t had much opportunity to eat at many of the banquets.” 

Merlin flicked his gaze from the display back to Arthur, who gestured for Merlin to sit. Merlin did so, with just a little guidance. Arthur walked back around to his seat.

“Yeah, um. This is… Thank you?” Merlin tried. 

“Mhm. Go on.” Arthur said. Merlin and Arthur had empty plates and silverware to fix their own plates. 

Merlin laughed and shook his head. “Don’t need me to fix your plate?” Merlin joked.

“Nope. You’re off, remember? This isn’t work.” Arthur reminded Merlin, with a stare for punctuation. It was a silent offer, to say that if Merlin didn’t want to be here, he didn’t have to be. 

“As Gaius said, it’s a date.” Merlin played back as he reached over to grab some spinach tartes. 

Arthur chuckled and opened his mouth. “He, he knows?” Arthur asked. “I mean… that’s…” 

Merlin eyed him humorously. “Mm. When I was off, I told him you expected me back for dinner, so he didn’t have to cook for me.” 

“Be honest. When you ran off to Gaius this morning, you told him every word I said to you.” Arthur assumed.

“I-Well. I.” Merlin laughed awkwardly. “Listen. I was worried about you!” Merlin admitted. “It wasn’t whatever you’re thinking.”

“Mm, I’m thinking a man who I think of like a grandfather knows I’m courting the man he sees as his son.” Arthur’s confidence in each word was short-lived. “Mm, uh, that sentence didn’t go how I thought it.”

Merlin choked on air. “I think you were right to stick to your actions. Words fail.” 

“Indeed…” Arthur said. The two remained bubbly and stared at each other fondly. 

“Is this your first time?” Arthur asked. 

Merlin took a bite of the tarte he was holding and blinked slowly. Syrup spilled past the corner of his lip. “Mm. Hardly had time for dating, what with all the chores you give me.” 

Arthur laughed. “Um, I meant, is this your first time trying a strawberry tarte?” 

Merlin blushed harder. “Is it bad?” Merlin asked, indicating toward the syrup on his face. 

“You got a… Just a…” Arthur reached over the table, rising off his seat to put his hand to Merlin’s lips. He wiped off the syrup with his thumb. “Yeah, do this,” Arthur said as he licked his lips the way he wanted Merlin to.

Merlin blushed under the focused attention and steady gaze. He looked down as he did as he was instructed. 

“Can’t take me anywhere.” Merlin said finally with a small laugh. It fell a little flat due to the disconsolate nature. Arthur couldn’t take him anywhere, to the point that they were having their first date in Arthur’s bedchambers. Arthur tried not to stiffen at that. 

“So… How was your day today?” Arthur asked. Merlin tried not to cringe at the awkwardness of chit-chat. 

“I spent it helping Gaius.” Merlin said before taking another bite of the strawberry tarte. He seemed to really like it, Arthur noted.

“So you said. What was he working on today?” Arthur asked.

“He was…” Merlin tried to come up with a story, but he himself wasn’t sure what the goop he saw Gaius making that morning was. “Working on hayfever treatments. Rather boring stuff.” Merlin lied.

Arthur stared him down. “Okay. You don’t have to tell me.” 

Merlin looked to the side. “It’s not… I mean.” He sighed. “Maybe you were right. Earlier.”

“About?” Arthur asked.

Merlin sighed loudly. “That I told Gaius that I suspected you had a… magical affliction. And he advised me on what I should do.” Merlin confessed.

“Oh? And his thoughts?” Arthur’s eyes were interested now.

“He… may have speculated that… Maybe you aren’t. Maybe. But he told me to be careful.” Merlin admitted. 

Arthur laughed. “See? Gaius cleared me.” 

“No, he didn’t. He said that he thinks you are fond of me, that it could potentially be… true. But that’s not the same as clearing you. I’m supposed to search for any signs that something magical occurred.” Merlin continued.

“Did you not get your fill of staring at my pretty veins? By all means, continue.” Arthur said, holding his wrist toward Merlin across the table. 

Merlin swatted his hand. “Ugh. No. Before I leave, I’ll check your room for anything potentially magical.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Sure. But for now, maybe you could try actually enjoying our date.” 

Merlin gave him a look. 

“You know, I had really wanted for the two of us to picnic. But what with the guests here, I was advised against it.” Arthur said, changing the subject.

“Advised? By who?” Merlin asked.

“I believe you mean ‘by whom”. And if you must know, I spoke with Morgana today. Well, and Gwen.” Arthur said casually. 

“You told Gwen?” Merlin asked, appalled at the idea of her knowing about their date. He thought back to Gwen stopping him in the hallway, and it felt like something clicked. 

“I didn’t technically say anything specific. Well… Okay, maybe I did.” Arthur said. “All Morgana knows is I was trying to see someone without my father knowing.” 

“But Gwen?”

“Probably did put it together, considering she was who I asked what your favorites were…” Arthur mused, clearly only just realizing it himself.

“She stopped me in the hallway and reassured me I wasn’t getting fired; that you weren’t upset with me. So, she knows… something.” Merlin said with a twinge of bitterness. 

“I am sorry. I didn’t think about the fact that she had heard my previous musings. All I could think about was seeing you.” Arthur said, though his face didn't fall in longing. "When you weren't at the conference today, I couldn't even think. I think my father may be upset with me for my lack of attention. That's another reason why I spoke with Morgana. But honestly, I don't care how he feels." Arthur shook his head to angle his gaze away from Merlin, because he secretly wasn't able to emote any bitterness whilst looking at Merlin's pretty face.

Merlin eyed him. "You don't mean that." 

Arthur flicked his gaze back to Merlin, and every feature softened. "I do. I think these past few days, I've realized it takes more than a crown to be a king."

Merlin tried not to emote, but he definitely failed, given Arthur’s furrowed brow. He chuckled lightly to clear the air.

"Well, ah. A crown does sort of. Make one a king. That's the point of it, is it not?"

"No, it… My father has his own presumptions based off of his experience, his loss of my mother, and has since categorized magic as evil and death as the solution. But at some point, I started to wonder what my mother would have wanted." Arthur paused, thinking carefully. "I don't know what it is, but I know you are… in some way, special. That there's something about you. I'm not forcing you to tell me right now what it is, but I'm not going to ignore it, either. Because you need to understand that I love you in spite of… in spite of the magic, I assume." Before he could see Merlin's scared or hurt or lying expression, Arthur made a show of closing his eyes and chuckling. 

"Mm, not looking! You're a horrible liar, Merlin. Just stop trying so hard, hm?" Arthur laughed. He leaned over to grab a bite of a strawberry tarte and continued. Merlin, of course, was paralyzed in fear, just staring at Arthur hoping this was a dream, or something. 

"Just like magical backgrounds shouldn't define a man, I hope one day the world realizes that my father doesn't define me. No one chooses their lineage." Arthur said with finality, reopening his eyes. 

Merlin was timid, making himself small, but he seemed slightly more comfortable after Arthur’s last ramblings. 

"I still stubbornly wish we could have made for a picnic. Would love to have gone swimming." Arthur mused.

"At night? Right now?" Merlin asked with interest. Arthur gave him a look with his eyes that said 'obviously' and Merlin snorted. "I'm glad to be here. Besides, you were right - I'd never tried a strawberry." 

"Ah, that explains why there's so few left." Arthur's voice had a teasing lilt. Merlin's eyes widened apologetically. "No, no. They were for you. It's fine. I know what they taste like, they're alright." 

"Alright? They're amazing!" Merlin countered.

Arthur laughed. "If you like those, try the Strawberye. It's richer. And it's made with Camelot's finest red." Arthur said, making a move to fix it for Merlin. Merlin stared at him as he did so.

"You don't see anything at ALL different with this? You're fixing me 'Camelot's finest'. You're doing my job, right now." Merlin asked, tilting his head and watching Arthur. Arthur stopped what he was doing for a moment, but was able to complete his task and set down Merlin's plate before he sat back down. 

"I'm choosing to." Arthur said. "When you do it, it is a job. Your station. I'm doing it because I have this feeling that I don't fully comprehend. This is my way of expressing it." 

"It really feels like a choice?" Merlin asked, his broken heart hanging on Arthur's words. 

Arthur's eyes narrowed. He nodded. "Yes. How many times must I say that?" 

"Until it sounds less like I'm dreaming." Merlin said, before he could even stop himself. "I'm glad you feel like you finally see… me, but, I feel like I'm looking at something so obviously not Arthur and just wishing it so." 

"Then you think poorly of me?" Arthur asked, his gaze flicked down at his plate. He looked back up at Merlin.

"No. I don't. I do, however, think you are often-times sadistic. " He paused, staring at Arthur's slightly shocked expression. "But your sense of humor is something I look forward to each day. I'm lucky enough to be able to counter your quips without dying as a result!" Merlin's face took on the familiar smug expression he usually wore when he and Arthur were bantering playfully. 

"I think you are honorable, and that you respect me, on some level. I've always cherished that." Merlin said, slowly finding his way around what he meant. "I have always… loved… many things about you, Arthur. But because of that, because of how often we don't talk about things the way I want to, I'm used to some disappointment." Merlin admitted. 

"What kinds of things did you want to talk about, then?" Arthur asked.

"Huh? Oh, uh, well. I mean… sometimes, emotional things happen. Sometimes, things happen on knight errands or in tournaments, and I advise you, and you trust me, but it takes a while. I was speaking in general." Merlin explained. It had been some time since Freya, since Uther had completely lost his mind for his love and his hate, but somehow, still not enough. And even if it had been ample time, how do you start talking about any of those things? Merlin shook his head.

"I know. I need to trust you more." Arthur admitted. "The thing that I have loved about you is your wisdom. I don't know the why or the how, but I do trust your extensive knowledge." Arthur's arms were crossed on the table’s surface. 

Merlin blinked and nodded.

“But in my defense, you were secret keeping. Are secret keeping. I think we would both have to be willing to make some changes for me to trust you when you first speak out.” Arthur said cooly, moving his arms off the table and leaning back in his seat. 

“That’s… fair.” Merlin said finally. His mind was screaming at him for that admission. But what was he supposed to do? Keep up a shit lie? Go against the advice of Gaius? It seemed even Gaius was okay with Merlin coming clean, since there was no way of making Arthur genuinely believe otherwise.

But if he told Arthur… If he gave him specifics, he could never go back on that. He couldn’t ever deny it later. Arthur would have that knowledge when he liked him most and when he was furious and afraid. Just because this Arthur, this enchanted Arthur, wasn’t about to set up Merlin a pyre doesn’t mean that no version of Arthur would.

…

But would any version of Arthur do that? It was already hard to believe, even in the relatively short time the two had known each other. 

“Merlin.” Arthur spoke finally. 

Merlin didn’t even realize how lost in his own head he was, for the second time today. 

“Sorry, Arthur. It’s not you. I’ve just been thinking a lot today.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it?” Arthur asked.

“You probably can figure most of it. It’s just… This is uncharted territory for us. With you refusing to pull back… I don’t know. I don’t want to play ‘you’ and make you be ‘me’, but…” Merlin said, fiddling with the edge of the plate. “What I mean is, I know how you feel. I feel like that all the time. You’ll tell me something about how you feel, or treat me like I’m on your level, and then… you pull away. Call me a servant, not a friend, or tell me to be quiet, and-”

“And I told you. That was wrong of me. I cannot undo those things which I have done. I cannot unharm you, cannot protect you from who I was by any means other than changing him now.” Arthur’s voice was firm and rousing, each word like a spoken embrace. “Because I’m aware of that, I understand that it goes both ways. That things were hard for us both in completely separate ways. I have told you my secrets. I have told you how I feel. I just… I would appreciate if I could have the same. If you cannot do that now, I understand, and I will wait for you, as long as it shall take.” 

Merlin looked to the floor momentarily, wondering deep within his mind if it were possible he’d look down and find his jaw there. 

“Since when were you such a poet?” Merlin asked finally, exhaling through his nose instead of laughing.

“Since when did you have magic?” Arthur asked, not losing the tone his voice had carried before. 

Merlin decided that enchantment or not, Arthur was right.

“I was born with it. How did you figure it out?” Merlin asked, speaking very slowly and cautiously.

“Well, aside from you admitting it, finally, may I add… It’s in the little things. I’m not blind. I tried to be, to make things easier… But I always knew. I knew something from the moment I met you.” Arthur started. “But recently? Lying isn’t in your nature; you’re not good at it. You have a mysterious quality and you lie a lot, despite having the very best code of ethics I’ve ever seen in a man…”

“You always solve the mystery. You fix whatever goes wrong. You do all these things, and more I’m sure, for the sake of the kingdom. For the sake of loving me. And that’s well and good, but… No one can be so… I suppose, lucky, as you. You try to play things off as coincidence too much.” Arthur explained. 

Merlin sighed and nodded. “You’re right.” Merlin didn’t know what else to say. He had questions, Gods did he want to ask questions, but, he feared the answers. 

Arthur eyed him. Merlin met his gaze. 

“Okay, but… Has knowing… changed anything? Made you…” He couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t say hate me at the end. 

“Yes and no. I can’t say nothing has changed. But it’s not as horrible as you must have dreamt it would be. I’m not blinded by my negative emotions to the point of forgetting who you are. All the good you’ve done, all the debt I owe you.” Arthur said.

“But you are upset? You can’t be this forgiving? It’s not really-” Merlin stopped himself, but it was too late.

“It’s not like me?” Arthur asked, though he didn’t seem stern. He was just curious.

“No. It’s not. You would react emotionally for a few days, lose sense. Lose sight. I’d have to talk it back into you. That’s our thing.” Merlin said, taking on a facetious version of exasperation. 

“What you’ve described I cannot call inaccurate. However,” Arthur started, leaning over the table and tilting his gaze toward the ground, “It sounds so much like… Well. It sounds like my father. Worse, somehow, it sounds like him and Gaius.” He scrunched his nose and looked at Merlin, telling this realization in what he hoped would be a way they could laugh over.

Merlin did have to laugh, but it was an awkward ordeal. “But, you are actually capable of listening. Your father… well.” Merlin looked as if he was double-checking for permission to speak, to which Arthur subtly nodded for him to continue. “He may respect Gaius, but not enough. Not the ways in which you’ve respected me. It’s something even your father realized. It scared him.” Merlin answered.

“Still. It’s too much like him. It’s… Well… I want to make my own decisions. I want… I want for people to respect me, not simply fear me.” Arthur decided finally. “And I do have the ability to make people fear my strength, but it has never felt as gratifying as it must feel for my father.” 

Merlin nodded. “That’s what I like best about you. You care for the people, even though for a while, you tried to force yourself not to. But I always knew who you were deep down.” 

“Then why was it so hard to believe when I knew who I was? Who I want to be?” Arthur asked.

“Because it was something I had been hoping for. Been equal parts patient and impatient for. Knew it would come, but still couldn’t wait. So, this, all of this, it feels…”

“Unreal?” Arthur tried.

“More than.” Merlin said, snorting a little at the end. “The other thing is that… Well. I had to grapple with myself, right? I had to realize that the version of you I saw would either happen or it wouldn’t. But I couldn’t do what Uther has done to you. I couldn’t make you who I want you to be.” He paused, scared that he might be at the point that was too far.

“Whenever you say that… you love me… it makes me worry you’re changing yourself to please me. And while some changes to you would be more than welcome,” Merlin jabbed, “I don’t want you to lose sight of who you are ‘for me’. I don’t want to make you who you are, be the reason you choose to do what is right. It being right or wrong doesn’t matter, it’s still the matter of influence that makes it unacceptable.” 

“What ‘right’ thing are you describing?” Arthur asked.

Merlin froze at that. He didn’t know how to tell Arthur the prophecy stuff! Magic was one thing, but telling Arthur the future as the dragon told him?

“Well… I guess I mean… Ending the war on magic…?” Merlin tried. Arthur looked at him humorously, a smile curling the ends of his lips.

“So, you admit it.” Arthur said with enthusiasm.

“Well, yes. But not for my own self interest, even. I’m not saying you shouldn't be wary of magic. I’m just saying hunting fellow men for the sake of, what? Whispers? Yes, that’s completely insane!” Merlin’s voice got louder than he had meant for it to at the end. He realized he had moved, as if he was going to stand, just instinctively. His mind was going back to Freya…

“Sorry…” Merlin looked bashful.

“Don’t be. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time to finally hear you speak your mind.” Arthur leaned back in his seat lazily. “The idea that you kept this to yourself somehow, despite how many of your other complaints you voice… Must have been gruelling.” 

Merlin took a risk, almost instinctively, when he willed one of Arthur’s pillows to his hand. Arthur’s lazy demeanor fled, though he didn’t startle enough to rise. Merlin smirked before chucking the pillow at Arthur’s head.

Arthur laughed as he effortlessly ducked.

“Magic. Still can’t give you a better throw.” Arthur mocked.

“Wanna bet?” Merlin asked, before willing another to his hand.

Chapter Text

After their pillow fight, somehow Merlin had drifted to Arthur’s side of the table. The two sat, legs touching, for quite some time, chatting about less serious topics as they knew they’d have to sleep sometime soon. 

Merlin’s gaze flicked to the window. He had no clue what time it was, and he was sure Arthur didn’t either. 

“You need to get some sleep. These few days are important, Arthur.” Merlin said, as he stood and walked over to the fire to stoke it. He did so manually, habitually, before he walked over to Arthur’s bed to fix his blankets and reset his pillows.

Arthur watched this with fascination and amusement before he cleared his throat. 

Merlin turned to him, whipping his torso around. 

“Why are you not using your magic?” Arthur asked.

Merlin froze, before he reminded himself that, oh yes , things were very different now. “Out of habit, mostly.”

“Is it hard? Making yourself do things the ‘normal way’?” Arthur asked.

“You have no,” Merlin said, as he finished his steps with the pillow he already had, though he hesitated to set it back in it’s place, “idea…” He dropped it, and grabbed the lock of blonde lady-hair that was laying under Arthur’s pillow. He turned to Arthur.

“You really need to start paying attention to the details, hm?” Arthur teased. He looked at Merlin’s frown and did the same. “What is it?” 

“Evidence. I was right.” Merlin said. “Ah, uh. The Trickler and King Alined; Gaius and I believe they had a goal. They wanted you,” Merlin said, still moving the other pillows and checking the sheets for anything else, “to fall for Vivian.” 

“Well. They failed.” Arthur said nonchalantly. 

“Arthur, this is serious!” Merlin said, though his voice was strained from him climbing all over Arthur’s bed. 

“I have to take this to Gaius. He’ll look it over. Make time to see him tomorrow morning. He’s going to want to analyze you himself. Maybe I just overlooked something.” Merlin said all at once. “For now though, I’m going to get you different sheets. These are going to go somewhere else, for now.”

Arthur started to argue, “You really don’t have to-” But this time, it was he who forgot Merlin’s magic, because before he was through with his sentence, it had been done. 

“What… How?” Arthur started to ask.

Merlin turned to face him. “Magic,” he said, as he fluttered his fingers. 

Arthur laughed at that. “Well, yes , but… Where did they come from? Did you make them?” Arthur froze. “My shirt. My shirt. Did you do that by hand or by… I suppose it doesn’t really matter, but…” 

Merlin looked at him and laughed. “Are you even talking to me?” Merlin asked, but he immediately made an effort to answer each question anyway. “No, I didn’t make the sheets. These are the ones I saw down in the laundry earlier. I just imagined them as they were and then… imagined them… here… I mean, it’s a little more than that, but I can sort of… just… will things sometimes.” Merlin said sheepishly. How he managed to admit to his prowess sheepishly was beyond Arthur, but he really wanted to walk up to him and kiss him. 

“Your shirt,” Merlin started, as he dropped onto the ground to look under Arthur’s bed, “I sewed entirely by hand. No magic. And for the record, I don’t use magic to polish armour either, so don’t even ask.” He didn’t find anything, and so he stood up and brushed his knees. “But I have enchanted it.” 

“Enchanted?” Arthur asked.

Merlin blushed. “Ah, er, yeah, well, think of it like a favor! It wasn’t like how it sounds. It was just sort of…”

“Like all the other times someone miraculously trips? Look, Merlin, you’re lucky I’m not as plagued by self doubt as you, because I would be seriously insecure right now if I was.” Arthur quipped. “Have I ever won anything without you making it so?” 

“I thought you weren’t self conscious.” Merlin quipped back.

“I’m not.” Arthur said.

“Then why are you asking?” 

“...”

“No, the enchantments I’ve put on that armour are nothing to gawk over. Simple things. Meant to heighten your skill, or keep you from dying, but nothing that would cause you miraculous good luck or the opposite to your opponents.” Merlin said, brushing his hands together.

“So then, you’ve enchanted other knights’ armour?” Arthur teased.

“...”

“Mm. Can I ask you something else?” Arthur continued. Merlin nodded.

“You didn’t deny it. Those other incidents, those were your doing?” Arthur asked. Merlin nodded yes. “Why?” 

“The same reason you tried to save me before. The same reason you take up for me when your father randomly blames me for… whatever.” He flung a hand. “It’s instinctual to want to protect the people we love. Not built out of doubt for your skill. I know you are great, Arthur.” Merlin said, walking over to him. 

Arthur felt like this was a dream for the first time. He fought his own blush.

Merlin put his hands on Arthur’s shoulders to guide him out of the chair and to his bed.

Merlin looked at him confused when he realized Arthur wasn’t understanding. 

“It’s time for you to get some rest.” Merlin said, tilting his head.

“Oh. Yeah. Right.” Arthur said, still gazing lovingly at Merlin.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked.

“Sorry. Got the wrong impression for a second.” Arthur said as he shook himself off and made his own way to his bed.

“Wrong impr…” Merlin started. “Oh. Arthur, I told you-”

“I know. But a man,” Arthur said as he flopped onto his newly made bed, “Can dream. Just like he can dream that perhaps you’ll sleep here tonight?” Arthur offered.

Merlin made a small wheezing sound in the back of his throat.

“I meant it. Sleep.” Arthur said with amusement.

“I’m afraid that’s not a very good idea.” Merlin said. He trailed off a little, thinking multiple things at once. “Hey, wait. This was placed under your pillow.” Merlin said, referring to the lock of Vivian’s hair he still held.

Arthur looked to him.

“So, those two came in here at night.” Merlin said finally.

“Oh. So you should stay here to protect me. Great idea.” Arthur said. Merlin batted his hand toward him.

“Well… No, no, that’s not what I meant. Not exactly. And I meant to ask earlier, that guard you had outside your door, what was that about?” 

“Guard outside my…” Arthur started. “Oh. That. I wanted to make sure no one was to bother us. Said the only person allowed in was you.” 

Merlin gawked. “You told that kid not to repeat those orders, right?” 

“Kid?” Arthur was hung up on that phrasing, but the knight was one of the younger trainees. He shook his head. “Uh, well…”

“Arthur, you’re joking! If your father came to your door-”

“We’d definitely know about it. He’d cuss and stir quite a fuss.” Arthur noted. “And, of course, that ‘kid’ probably would have let him in the second he got all ‘I am the King!’ and I wouldn’t have slighted him for doing so.”

“Okay, but if Alined or his jester came by, he might have repeated those orders to him?” Merlin tried again.

“Merlin. You’re tired and paranoid. They have no reason to suspect something from that. You’re my servant. That thought isn’t going to cross their minds.” Arthur soothed.

“They do if they know you are under a love spell and not tearing down Vivian’s door.” Merlin said. “You need to be vigilant. We might need to get someone we trust, someone like Leon to guard and-”

“Merlin. That’s enough. It’s going to be alright.” Arthur tried to soothe Merlin again. “We are not getting Sir Leon to stand guard. How would that look to the other kings? To my father?”

“Maybe… Maybe we should tell your father?” Merlin contemplated. 

Arthur’s wide eyes made him realize how stupid he sounded.

“Yes, because my father has a great track record for not overreacting!” Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. “If we do that, we doom the peace talks, not just between two nations, but potentially between five. We need to lie low.” 

“You’re right. You’re right.” Merlin nodded. He looked over at the table with the dishes and the flowers, and he willed the dishes to be cleared and clean, then made them stack themselves. He willed the flowers to sit on a corner of the table, he hoped, subtly, as he planned on taking them with him to dry and keep. 

Arthur couldn’t look away from Merlin’s gorgeous golden eyes. He barely paid mind to what spells Merlin was even casting, focusing only on the boy’s eyes and the words he uttered in a voice so low it was nearly unrecognizable. 

Merlin turned back to Arthur and startled. He’d never be used to being watched, even if he was trying to play it cool.

“Right. Well. Good night, Arthur. Sweet dreams.” Merlin said as he turned to leave. Arthur was asleep as soon as Merlin was done speaking, though it went entirely unnoticed to Merlin. As his hand felt the door, he willed all the candles out, and then he left for his own bed.

Chapter Text

When Arthur woke up to Merlin’s presence in his room, he felt so joyous he leapt out from bed. The swift movement startled Merlin.

“Arthur. Good morning.” Merlin said as he finished adjusting the curtains to let the light in. He willed the fire back to life with magic, gaining the astonished gaze of Arthur. Merlin blinked.

“Right. Sorry. It’s something to get used to, hm?” Merlin said, as he moved to collect the trays that had been left last night. “I’ll take these and be right back, yeah?” Merlin said.

Arthur looked deflated, but he said nothing. He stood, deathly still, as he waited for Merlin to return.

Merlin walked out to the kitchen to drop off the dishes. He made his way to pick up Arthur’s breakfast and took the tray back up to Arthur’s chambers. 

He passed by Gwen, who smiled warmly at him. He smiled back.

“Good Morning, Gwen!” Merlin beamed. 

“Ah. Good Morning, Merlin. Feeling better, today?” Gwen asked as she slowed to a stop.

“Much!” Merlin called as he continued walking.

Gwen looked at his back, smiled, and shook her head, before continuing with her own chores.

Merlin bounded up to Arthur’s door and pushed it open. He successfully brought the tray to Arthur’s table, which still was pushed closer to his bed than usual. He frowned and shrugged, making a mental note to move it back for Arthur later, to save him the effort.

He looked at Arthur and his frown didn’t fade as he realized Arthur had stayed in the exact same position he had been when Merlin left.

“Arthur? How are you feeling?”

“Better, now that you’ve returned!” Arthur cried.

Merlin blinked. “What?”

“You were gone for so long.” Arthur spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He clung to Merlin.

“Uh, I really wasn’t. But, I did get your breakfast. Here.” Merlin gestured toward the food. Arthur made no movement toward it.

“I don’t want it.” Arthur said, not trying to be petulant, but still somehow managing. 

“Why not?” Merlin asked.

“I just want to sit with you. Talk with you.” Arthur pleaded.

Merlin was creeped out.

“Well, erm. What time do you think the peace conference is today?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. Very much.” Merlin said sternly. 

“It’s not for hours yet. Come sit with me.” Arthur tried again.

“Mm, I’m afraid you promised me last night to come with me to my chambers, to see Gaius. Remember?”

Arthur crinkled his nose. “Mm. I suppose I did.” 

“I can sit and talk with you after. But we must do that first. So, eat. I’ll get your clothes ready.” Merlin walked over to Arthur’s closet. He picked out Arthur’s outfit, curious to see if Arthur would veto it today like he did yesterday.

He looked back and Arthur was barely picking at his food. He rolled his eyes.

“The faster you finish breakfast, the faster we’ll come back here. Be alone.” Merlin cringed at himself for the last bit, worrying Arthur would take that as some sort of intimate promise. But he needed to get to Gaius, and to figure out why Arthur seemed… worse.

Arthur ate his breakfast in five large bites and leapt up to Merlin, not moving to the changing screen, and completely stripped to change into the clothes Merlin was going to help him into. Merlin was shocked yet again at his speed and tenacity. Still, he forced himself to push onward and dress him with a blank mind.

Once he had Arthur dressed, he put his hands on his shoulders.

"To Gaius?" Merlin asked.

Arthur begrudgingly nodded. "I suppose."

"It'll be quick. Come on." Merlin walked them to the door. Once they were out of Arthur's room, he deliberated on keeping appearances. Really, he should let Arthur lead them and follow him politely but… it didn't seem like Arthur would be capable of doing that in this state.

Merlin sighed and walked briskly. Arthur fought to keep his steps even with Merlin's. Merlin hoped lamely that they wouldn’t be spotted.

In time, the two made it to the Physician’s Tower. Merlin prayed Gaius hadn't left to make his morning rounds yet. He'd meant to fill Gaius in last night, but of course, by the time Merlin made it home, the old man was asleep. And of course, this morning he was running a little late, which went unnoticed by Arthur.

Merlin pushed open the doors. "Gaius?" He called.

A moment passed and Merlin turned back to look at Arthur. Merlin bit his lip.

"I'm seriously hoping he hasn't left yet…" Merlin said, mostly to himself. 

"Gaius?" Merlin said, walking toward Gaius' bedchamber. 

It was no use. Gaius was already gone. That wouldn't be a problem, really, except for the fact that Gaius would likely be busy attending the conference today, since he had nothing more pressing to do. He was still Uther's most loyal advisor, after all…

Merlin walked back into the main room and grabbed Arthur. Arthur blinked slowly, but he said nothing.

"Arthur. I need you to do something very important for me." Merlin said in the sweetest tone he could manage.

"Anything for you, my love." Arthur said, no longer blinking. It took great strength for Merlin not to slap his own forehead.

"I need you to try to remember what happened at the last conference you went to. The one from yesterday." Merlin kept his voice soft and tried not to emote harshly.

"I… missed you." Arthur said. He noticed Merlin’s slight frown, and tried again, before being asked. "I really missed you. Um. I remember my father looking at me. It was when he was saying something about the… Northern territories." Arthur's face was furrowed in deep concentration.

"Good. That's good. What was he saying, Arthur?" Merlin tried again. Arthur looked up at him with a look of a kicked dog. "Take your time."

"King Olaf mentioned something I had been thinking about before. How the Northern territories are culturally distinct, but not where the official lines are. But I can't remember exactly what he wanted. I know I agreed with him, but… I don't remember what his actual goal was." Arthur said.

"Do you remember anything King Alined said that day?" Merlin asked, tilting his head.

Arthur looked at Merlin's eyes. He softened. A few moments passed. 

"Arthur? Do you need me to repeat myself?" Merlin said, trying to keep his irritation to himself.

"Mm. I don't think he said much of anything. He was… well. He seemed to be deep in thought. That's all I can remember, honestly." Arthur said. 

Merlin sighed. Arthur's gaze shifted, analyzing Merlin's face for worry lines. Merlin had to repress a second sign.

"Thank you, Arthur. That's very helpful." Merlin thought for a minute. "Can I ask you something else?" 

Arthur nodded a vigorous 'yes'. 

"Is there a meeting today for the same time?" 

Arthur thought about that for a moment. "Well. I doubt we're still talking about borders. But honestly?" Arthur looked up at Merlin. "Things were stagnant. Awkward. I think my father will arrange something more… entertaining for today, to give us all a reprieve, and then tomorrow we'll have another official meeting." 

Merlin nodded at that. That was plausible, especially if Alined was visibly terse and if Arthur was obviously distracted.

"Alright. Can you get out of it? Could you… be… sick?" Merlin asked.

Arthur opened his mouth and then closed it. "Do you want me to say I'm sick?" 

Merlin paled. Lying might not be in the cards.

"Well. We need to make a plan, and we have no time. I don't know what to do." Merlin started pulling at his hair. Arthur reached up and grabbed his hands.

"Everything will be alright, Merlin." Arthur promised.

Merlin looked at Arthur. What could have made him so much… worse? Merlin supposed he should be glad he was able to coax anything useful out of him, but… ugh. It was hard to be grateful. He was running out of time, and more importantly, out of options.

Merlin started to consider just kissing Arthur now to be done with it, but if it didn’t work, that would make things a hundred times harder, at least emotionally.

If he couldn’t go to Gaius for advice, there was one other person who could help. But Merlin needed to keep an eye on Arthur… There’s no way he could take Arthur along to go see Kilgharrah… Could he?

Merlin breathed deeply. 

"Alright. Arthur?" Merlin started.

"Yes, my love?" Arthur answered.

Merlin couldn't repress his cringe. "Mm. You definitely shouldn't call me that." 

Arthur frowned. 

Merlin sighed. He wanted to bang his head against a wall. He was really beginning to miss his best friend, here. 

Merlin settled for pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. He plastered on a smile.

"Arthur. Let's go… To a most secret place. Yes. Um, you are going to come with me on… an adventure!" Merlin said, trying his absolute best to find the words that would sell this to Arthur.

"An adventure?" Arthur asked, his brow creasing softly.

"Do you trust me?" 

"Always and forever." Arthur answered with a single vigorous nod.

"Good. Then, let's be off!" Merlin said, leading the way out of the Tower and toward the part of the castle he crept to so often, these days.

Chapter Text

Merlin didn't have a perfect plan, but he figured he could magic some way to keep Arthur from overhearing - and maybe use his neckerchief as a make-shift blindfold for Arthur. 

Merlin was familiar with spells that made it hard to remember or that blended words together. He was familiar with muffling door frames and keeping people from hearing things, like Merlin's voice reciting lengthy spells. 

He was not familiar with preventing someone from seeing, and he was not about to risk blinding Arthur. 

Arthur seemed to trust him enough that it shouldn’t be a problem, but if he did see The Dragon, well… That would just be a future Merlin problem, wouldn’t it? This Arthur couldn’t care less about any non-Merlin thing. 

Before they made it to the identifiable parts of the dungeon, he turned to Arthur, whose eyes seemed glassy and far away.

“Arthur?” Merlin whispered.

“Yes?” Arthur whispered back.

“That bit before. Trusting me. You still do?” Merlin asked, untying his neckerchief. He tested its length on himself, seeing if there was enough to tie behind his own head. There was.

“Yes. Of course.” Arthur said. “Though. I’m confused why we came all this way.” Arthur's face was a fraction as expressive as normal. He wasn't doing that dramatic scowl he often did with his lips and his forehead wrinkle when Merlin did something he deemed stupid. Instead, Arthur stood, staring plainly with a faint crease in his forehead from narrowing his eyes slightly. 

Merlin still held the neckerchief, knowing he needed to come up with some explanation before blindfolding the crown prince. Gods above, this was horrible. 

“Well. This is just a detour. Then we will head back to your room and…” Merlin trailed off. Arthur didn’t even seem to be listening anymore.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked. Arthur inclined his head, but he didn’t say anything. 

“I’m going to tie this around your head, hm?” Merlin spoke softly, still wanting to listen to any cues Arthur could give. Arthur really didn’t mind the makeshift blindfold, so Merlin cast a familiar spell that would keep Arthur from hearing what The Dragon told him. Well… He hoped. It was actually hard to tell, what with how loud The Dragon’s voice could be. Still, this was all he could do, since he needed to keep Arthur in his sight, and this way, Kilgharrah could see Arthur himself.

Merlin led Arthur safely and with certainty, but his grasp on Arthur himself felt cautious. It was a flimsy hold that demonstrated Merlin's fearful aura. Getting caught like this would be a horrible reason for Merlin's death sentence. And even aside from the eyes he feared he wasn't aware of, the ones he was seeking perhaps scared him more. 

He stayed on Arthur's left, walking painfully slowly, until he made out a familiar pit mere meters in front of him.

“Kilgharrah?” Merlin called. He waited a few moments for The Dragon to fly to his perch. The familiar sound of wing flaps and exasperation lightly bounced off the cavern's walls.

“Young Warlock. What brings you-” Kilgharrah cut himself off. He made a primal sound, much like a hiss as he noted Arthur’s presence behind Merlin. “Oh? What is this?” He asked once he took in the blindfold. 

Merlin watched as The Dragon visibly relaxed, but kept a calculating look as he stared at Arthur. 

"Arthur's under an enchantment. I wouldn't have brought him along if I didn't think you needed to see this." Merlin called up to Kilgharrah.

“This is magic, indeed.” The Dragon laughed. “I have to admit, I am more than surprised to see this boy in the flesh.”

Merlin looked to Arthur. He led him to sit on the cavern ground gently and patiently. Merlin sat on his knees for a moment, but ultimately rose to his knees to face Kilgharrah like he normally did a few steps in front of Arthur. 

“Everything I’ve tried has failed.” Merlin admitted plainly. 

“The magic; it captured his heart.” Kilgharrah said simply. “He must have been fighting a great deal to keep it at bay.”

Merlin looked up at him curiously.

“There is no magic that can break this enchantment. Not this one, in particular.” Kilgharrah admitted.

“There must be.” Merlin looked back to Arthur, who seemed to still be minding his own on the floor contentedly. “I’ve read a great deal about these types of enchantments, and-”

“And this spell has reached his heart. And from what I can tell, it’s been warped.” Kilgharrah argued.

“Well… Yeah, that’s sort of… Another reason I came to see you. I need your opinion on it.” Merlin flicked his gaze back to The Dragon. “This spell was meant to make him fall for The Lady Vivian. It didn’t. It made him fall for me.” 

The Dragon’s eyes widened and then shrank. His laughter boomed.

“This spell did no such thing.” 

“What?”

“Merlin.” Kilgharrah tsked. “If only you could see what I can. You’d understand why I’m laughing.” 

“Does it have to do with my magic? Gaius, he said… He said that I could have… subconsciously tethered this spell to myself. Is that… true?” Merlin asked.

The Dragon tilted his head. “Yes and no. I see your magic all over this boy. But that’s likely no different than usual.” He met Merlin’s sad gaze. He sighed, making the room a few degrees warmer. 

“We could sit here for hours and consider the possibilities. But in that time, Arthur would worsen.” He narrowed his gaze in an all-too familiar manner.

“I cannot let Arthur die.” Merlin cried pitifully. 

“Patience, young warlock. The solution lies in a force greater than you or I can understand, a force that has puzzled many minds…” Kilgharrah started. “A force…”

Merlin's frustration peaked. “Just tell me!” 

Kilgharrah laughed some more. “The greatest force of all: love. He needs to remember true love.” 

Merlin sighed. “And let me guess: you can’t tell me who that is.” 

“He’s your friend. Shouldn’t it be you who knows the answer?” Kilgharrah questioned.

Merlin sighed. The Dragon shook his head.

“True love’s kiss. Make it soon, Merlin. The longer he’s left enchanted, well…” Kilgharrah trailed off. 

The Dragon had the audacity to fly away. 

Merlin huffed. He turned to Arthur to emote something like 'can you believe him?' Before he realized that Arthur, uh… wouldn't.

He got to Arthur's level and helped him to his feet slowly. Arthur was still compliant, though a stiffness returned to his arms in Merlin's hold. 

Merlin whispered a few words to un-deafen Arthur and rushed to him to lead him out of the dungeon. 

“Hey, Arthur. Follow me, okay?” Merlin guided him out of the dungeons as quickly as he could, not wanting to keep Arthur blinded for much longer.

Soon, they made it back to the place they had been when Merlin had placed his neckerchief on Arthur. He quickly undid the knot and tied it back around his own neck.

“You alright, Arthur?” Merlin asked. He waved a hand in front of Arthur’s face. 

“Perfect.” Arthur said.

“Right… Well…” Merlin shook his head. “Let’s get back to your room. I think it’d be best if you found a way out of the council meeting. You’re hardly fit to attend…”

Arthur followed Merlin’s stride. “Yes. Then I could spend the day with you.” 

Merlin groaned. Still, he led them out of the library and into the corridor. 

His mind was reeling, but he managed to pay more attention than he was capable the day he nearly ran into Gwen. 

And yet, it still felt all-too late when he noticed the Trickler speaking to, not Alined, but King Olaf at the other end of the hallway.

Briefly, he contemplated walking the other way and taking a longer route to Arthur’s room, but before he could truly consider it, the two were charging his way. He blinked, before looking to Arthur, who stood up a little straighter. He tried to tuck himself the smallest bit behind Arthur, to keep appearances without looking more suspicious. 

“That’s the boy I saw.” The Trickler confirmed. “He was in your daughter’s room.” 

Merlin blinked. 

At that, Olaf got uncomfortably close to Merlin and Arthur. 

“Do you deny these accusations?” Olaf’s voice boomed in the now-cramped hallway.

Merlin waited for Arthur to say something and hoped he wouldn’t sound like a complete fool.

Olaf shoved Merlin’s shoulder. 

“I’m speaking to you, boy!” Olaf yelled.

“What is the meaning of this?” Arthur spoke up. “Remind yourself where you stand: We do not treat citizens this way in Camelot, King Olaf.” 

Merlin's mouth was agape as he watched Hell freeze over in front of him.

“What about thieves?” Olaf countered. “I’ve been told that he stole something of my daughter’s.” 

“Then you were lied to.” Arthur said firmly. He glared at the Trickler. “How could he have been stealing if he was with me all day?” Arthur crossed his arms and shifted his stance to cock his hip.

“If your faith in this servant is so strong, perhaps we could have a search conducted.” the Trickler said, leaning on the wall, gazing into Merlin’s now fearful eyes.

Fuck , was the only thing Merlin had going through his mind. He had left out every magic book he’d ever held in Gaius’s workshop and in his own room, trying to figure out how to fix the love spell. The Trickler must have suspected Merlin had cured him, or been working on a way to, because having his room searched would definitely result in his death right now. Not to mention, it’d make it seem like… Oh, no. The gears were turning. The Trickler must have come to the door last night. Must have devised this plan to shift blame to Merlin and make ever-paranoid Uther vulnerable by exposing the rampant magic in his kingdom. This situation would only benefit them, no matter the outcome.

While Merlin panicked, Arthur removed his left leather glove and threw it at Olaf's feet.

“Not only do you disregard my reminder of Camelot’s customs, you accuse our castle chamberlain of petty theft. Surely you are the one willing to back up your abhorrent behavior.” Arthur’s eyes had a deadly gleam now and Merlin was panicking. 

“Prince Arthur, ah , please, don’t do…” Merlin started. But it was too late. Olaf had the glove in his hand.

“Wait until your father hears about this! Threatening a King for the reputation of a servant!” Olaf scoffed. 

And as if the words had summoned him…

“Arthur! What is going on?” Uther’s voice carried in the increasingly packed hallway. 

“Olaf has chosen to lose his life to paranoia. He’s accused my servant of theft, disregarded custom, and taken the word of a jester from another land above my own. And on top of it all, calls me the fool.” Arthur said simply, as if he was disgusted to be sharing air with the men around him. 

“Merlin.” Arthur said firmly, turning on his heel and leaving the two kings shocked in the hallway. Merlin followed suit, staring blankly at the floor, fear swallowing his heart and mind. 

Chapter Text

Arthur and Merlin made it to Arthur’s chambers silently. Uther had trailed behind to speak to Olaf, but his footfalls were not unnoticed by the two boys. They knew he’d be sure to come speak to Arthur about his decision. 

Merlin didn’t have the confidence to say anything, not when Uther was a minute away. He made himself useful. He contemplated moving Arthur’s table back where it usually was, but… with nothing but parchment and a empty breakfast tray from less than an hour ago, it was probably more trouble than it was worth. Gee, if only Arthur could understand that concept. 

Uther didn’t bother to knock when he finally caught up to Arthur’s door. He marched in, noticing Merlin in the corner tending to the fire, then flicking his gaze to his son who sat with a blank expression on his bed. He took in the state of Arthur’s room, but made no mention of it.

“It's no good. I've spoken to Olaf. I tried to rescind the challenge, but he says his honour has been tainted. He demands recompense.” Uther said finally.

Arthur said nothing.

“You've challenged him to a death-match. What did you think you were doing?” Uther demanded.

“Standing up for what is right. Reminding Olaf, and any of the other Kings, that if they can be so easily misled, then they are no allies.” Arthur said firmly.

“You do realise that your actions threaten the peace talks, and that it may yet bring war to Camelot?” Uther questioned.

“I am happy to fight for what I believe in.” Arthur said. 

Uther turned to Merlin. “What’s happened to him?” 

Merlin’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure how to answer the question.

Luckily, it seemed rhetorical, because Uther quickly threw up his hands and left. Merlin sighed out of relief that Arthur didn’t say anything about his love for Merlin. He must have remembered that conversation they had.

Arthur sat on his bed with the same blank expression. Merlin hated to break the silence, but something needed to happen. 

“Arthur?” Merlin asked tentatively. 

Arthur flicked his gaze to Merlin and the anger beneath his eyes was fiery. Merlin could recognize it even underneath Arthur’s careful mask. Soon, the anger melted away as he tipped his chin up and saw Merlin. 

“Yes?” Arthur answered.

Merlin sucked in a breath. “You really… really shouldn’t have done that, you know.”

“What should I have done differently? You heard the Trickler. He knows you have magic. That’s why he did this.” Arthur said.

Merlin blinked. So, Arthur understood it, too.

Of course he did. He was always really good at understanding techniques of war, threats to his kingdom, and seeing the intention between words people said. It’s why, to the rest of the world, he was so good at his own mask. 

But still, it raised some questions about the spell. Made Merlin remember Kilgharrah’s praise of Arthur’s determination to fight the spell. Perhaps that meant there could be some other way around this…

“Well… That is true, but… What about what your father said? You don’t think that this was a little… drastic?” Merlin said as he inched slowly closer to Arthur. 

“Merlin. You’ve asked me for my trust, and I’ve supplied it readily.” Arthur’s hands went to his knees in preparation to stand. “Please,” He got up now, walking to where Merlin stood at the foot of his bed, quickly placing his left hand on Merlin’s shoulder and sneaking his right to Merlin’s hip, “Try to do the same for me.” 

Merlin’s face was red and his mouth went dry. 

“I would lay down my life for yours. That much is unchanging.” Arthur continued, subtly stroking Merlin’s hip over his trousers. 

“I’d never want to live in a world without you, Arthur.” Merlin said easily. 

Arthur blinked. He smiled and his eyes lit up. 

“Like I could ever lose to Olaf.” Arthur scoffed. Merlin chuckled, despite himself.

“And besides… I have someone waiting for my victory. Isn’t that true?” Arthur asked.

Merlin would be lying if he denied how attractive this whole thing was. Having someone fight for him as hard as he fought for them? But still, he had to shake his head, had to snap out of it, because

“You can’t kill him.” Merlin said firmly. Still, he didn’t move out of Arthur’s embrace.

“So you want me to lose?” Arthur asked playfully.

“I really want,” Merlin said as he placed his left hand on top of Arthur’s right, “for you to call off this challenge. For peace to resume.” 

“There can be no peace between me and a man who assaults my people and speculates about gossip. I’m sorry, but he must pay for his crime, Merlin.” Arthur withdrew from the embrace and walked a few paces away. It was obvious why - he couldn’t look Merlin in his eyes and deny him what he wanted.

“With his life?” Merlin insisted. 

Arthur said no more. At first, Merlin was angry. He wanted to stalk up to him, look him in the eyes, and give him a real piece of his mind. But as he staggered through his steps toward Arthur, he realized that every muscle in his body had gone slack. When he was able to see his face, the glossy look from earlier was back. Merlin's breath made a whistle as he exhaled.

He tore himself away from Arthur. He couldn't stand in here with Arthur like this. 

He did his duties he deemed most important, but if he had to recount his every step, he'd surely fail in his retelling. That paralyzing, numbing fear took him over again, and made it so he could see nothing. He worked on autopilot. 

He was going to have to take care of Arthur at this tournament. This tournament that shouldn't be happening. This tournament that was his own fault.

He thought about all the advice and insight he had acquired, and how, at this point, he might be more selfish for not attempting to cure Arthur with a kiss. But it was Arthur vs Olaf, the latter of which was hardly 'fighting fit'. Surely this would be yet another automatic victory for Arthur?

No . There's no winning in this situation. Even if he cured Arthur, how could he hope to resolve the tension between the two, maybe five ,kingdoms?

Merlin found himself in the armory, despite all his frustrations with the fight. He had no idea what kind of fight this would become, what weapons Arthur would need. Besides, Arthur's own inventory of armor was still in his room from when Merlin last busied himself with it. 

Merlin smiled weakly to himself. As much as he joked, he actually did like polishing armor. It was easy enough, compared to his other tasks, and whenever he got to do it in Arthur’s room and talk to him, well… Those were his fondest memories. Even though Merlin was always doing things for Arthur, the Prince managed to show gratitude in subtle ways or do his best to treat him as an equal.

Merlin paced the far wall and stopped when he came to Leon's designated section. He noticed a small pile of fabric, tucked away under a crossbow. Curiously, he reached for it. In doing so, he dropped bits of fabric on the floor, and he realized what he was holding in his hands for what it was.

"Admiring my collection?" Sir Leon asked, as he stopped from his pace in the hallway at the sight of Merlin. "I hardly know what to do with them, myself. But each and every favor there has been deeply appreciated." Leon stepped up to Merlin and knelt down to pick the fallen ones up and carefully lay them with the others.

"Ah. Sorry about that, Leon. I wasn't trying to-" Leon held up a hand.

"You're in here for Arthur? I… Heard about his fight today." Leon asked.

Merlin nodded yes.

"Is he… alright? It doesn't seem much like Arthur to challenge a king like Olaf, and I wasn't told why, or anything." Leon shook his head to punctuate how in the dark he was. His gaze was steady on Merlin. He realized how unwell Merlin seemed, but he knew better than to press on that. If Merlin looked unwell, and Arthur was acting strangely, well… There’s your cause and effect right there. 

Merlin sighed. He looked around them in the vast armory, but no one was around. Still, he lowered his voice. "It was… for me. He's doing this for me."

Leon quirked a brow but his face was still more focused than judgemental.

"I was accused of stealing from Lady Vivian," Merlin said, cutting the end off with a bitter laugh, "and there was Arthur, immediately defending me and saying all this stuff about how all people of Camelot are to be treated." Merlin waved his arms around before dropping them noisily to his sides. 

Leon nodded. "Well, Merlin. I think that's actually a noble cause." Merlin flicked his gaze up to Leon incredulously. "I think you know this by now, but there are hardly any knights, Uther's or Arthur’s, who wouldn't jump to your defense." Leon's gaze flicked back to the favors and he picked one up, holding it to the light.

"If you want Arthur to quit, maybe you could start by acknowledging what he's doing for you. Maybe then he'll realize he doesn't have to go through with a death match to win your friendship." Leon folded the favor he had held and set it back down. He made his move toward the door. "Arguing with him makes him double down sometimes. He just wants to feel heard, because he never has." And with that, Leon left Merlin alone in the armory.

Chapter Text

Merlin was never going to be able to forget Leon’s words. Long after Leon’s footfalls could be heard, Merlin’s heart was devising a plan faster than his brain could shut it down. 

With shaking hands, he untied his neckerchief. He held it longways and gazed at it a final time before he ripped it clean down the middle. Almost habitually, he found himself saying familiar words of incantations he had used on Arthur’s armor. It was still rather plain, which he supposed would be a good thing. Only Arthur needed to know where it came from, after all. But… Still, he had eyed the designs of some of Leon’s favors for long enough he knew his own paled in comparison. It was functional, where it should have been ornate and thoughtful. He chewed his lower lip and screwed his eyes closed as he thought to himself, how he and Arthur would never have the graceful allure of real romance. This whole thing was… Well, it was silly . But Merlin had done plenty of silly things for Arthur already. So, he silenced his mind, and he made enough peace with himself to retire for the night.

-

Merlin carried a breakfast tray up to Arthur’s room, the 'favor' he made shoved in a trouser pocket. He was still mulling over how he'd go about… kissing...Arthur. And if it didn’t take and fix everything, what he'd do next. It was originally a worry of grabbing Gwen and throwing her at Arthur, but now, he knew with certainty that it would never be that simple.

Merlin wrung his hands together as he stumbled around the corridor. He stopped short of Arthur's door - flung open with no light gracing the stone floor. 

He's already out, and it's not even midday yet…

Merlin walked into the empty room and noticed a distinct lack of armor, as well as a small pile of shirts. Arthur must have dressed himself, or had someone else help him… His impatience was not a good sign. Merlin threw the tray on Arthur's table with a loud clatter before stomping his way to the grounds.

He was trying very hard not to seethe. But he was doing that puffy exhale through his nose that didn't exactly radiate joy. When he made it to the tent he knew Arthur was using, he stopped in front of the entrance. He listened cautiously, fearful to hear Uther's voice. Luckily, or maybe not so luckily, everything was quiet. 

Merlin took in what felt like his final breath as he let himself in.

And sure enough, there was Arthur, struggling with his armor, looking his own kind of huffy. 

“Arthur.” Merlin said his name incredulously, in a tone that communicated his disappointment perfectly well. It said, “what are you doing?” with only one word.

Arthur stopped moving before abruptly turning towards Merlin. 

“I got tired of waiting. I knew this would ensure I'd see you much quicker.” Arthur said in a familiar tone. He sounded like himself, like his normal self. 

“Much quicker?! I had your breakfast and everything! Much quicker!” Okay, now Merlin was huffing. 

Arthur laughed. It shook up something in Merlin, because it, too, was his normal laugh. 

“Arthur. Um… The fight.” Merlin stammered. 

“Yes, Merlin?” Arthur cocked an eyebrow.

“Need to fix… all of this, wow, you truly are incapable without me.” Merlin said, gesturing wildly toward Arthur's loose ties and half-complete dressing. “And I… I need to give you something.” 

Yeah. A kiss. 

No, I can't! 

Arthur looked interested at that, but Merlin was already diving in to tackle the armor situation. 

“What do you have, Merlin?” 

Merlin’s eyes went wide, but he explained nothing. He just used his muscle memory to his advantage.

Arthur didn’t let up. He kept prying. 

“You have something for me?” 

Merlin relented. He finished the final adjustments on Arthur and looked him straight in the eye.

“It’s… It’s nothing, really. And I do mean that I wished you had called off this fight, but…” Merlin started.

“Yes, yes. Get to the bloody point, Merlin, I need to be out there to give my speech.” Arthur huffed.

“Speech?” Merlin blanked.

“I’m sure my father will try to do most of the talking, but… I have to say what I feel. What this whole ordeal is about.” Arthur waved a hand. His mouth was turned like it normally would be when he tried to hide his feelings, despite the topic of a proclamation of honesty.

The two blinked. 

“ Mer lin.” 

Merlin reached into his pocket for the favor. “Right. Er, well. Here.”  He handed it to Arthur.

“What is this… Your neckerchief? You-” Arthur was puzzled, but he put it together. “It’s a favor.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Made of your beloved neckerchief,” Arthur spoke wistfully.

Merlin looked down. “Well, beloved is a stretch.” He flicked his gaze back up. “Yeah, no. That’s precisely what it is.” 

Arthur didn’t say anything, but he tucked it under the leather strap that held his shoulder plate on. The blue was obvious against his red. Merlin’s face heated up. 

“Well, the thing is, Arthur, I-” Merlin started, but the sound of fanfare cut him off.

“Merlin. Thank you.” Arthur grabbed Merlin’s shoulders. He shook his head pulled Merlin into an embrace. He pulled away and made for the tent’s entrance. “I’m off.”

“Off? No, no, wait, Arthur-” Merlin called out to a sprinting Arthur. 

Oh no.

Merlin followed as quickly as he could, but even with the advantage of Arthur being cloaked in full armor, he still couldn’t manage to keep up. Before he could think of a spell to prevent this, Uther was speaking in the stands.

“May I have everyone’s attention?” Uther’s voice boomed over the noise. Silence. “While it is true that our kingdom has been joyously celebrating a new era of peace yet untold… I am afraid it may be untold for even longer, as my son, Prince Arthur, has challenged King Olaf to a tourney, following ancient laws of Camelot. This matter will be settled by a tourney in three stages. The weapons chosen are quarterstaff, mace, and sword. The fight will be by the Knights' Rules, and to the death. Are we all clear?” 

Arthur saw his opportunity and seized it. “People of Camelot. People of our allied kingdoms. There’s one last thing I’d like to say.” 

Uther looked furious, but everyone gathered seemed to give their full attention to Arthur. Merlin shot a look to Gaius, who had finally arrived beside him.

“This tournament,” Arthur began as he stepped forward, “Is about respect. Not for me, your Prince, and not for my father, your King. But for the people of Camelot. People, like each and every one of you. There will be no more tolerance for the inhumane ways our allies have been known to treat you.” Arthur said.

“This is about a dear friend of mine, who happens to be, yes, my manservant,” Arthur called out. Many people in the audience gasped and reacted with skeptical glances. 

“He does everything I could ask for and more. He heals our sick. He has saved my life countless, and I mean countless , times. And how is he rewarded?” Arthur shot a pointed look at Olaf. “With contempt by strangers and friends alike. No more. I will not stand for this disrespect. Not for him. Not for anyone.”

Olaf glared back, but his eyebrows fell. Perhaps it was the bright sun, or perhaps it was the fear that wracked his skin with goose-flesh underneath his armor. No one could catch it but Arthur and Merlin, down close enough on the arena’s floor. 

“Unless you back down, Olaf, you will die today by my hand. Unless you apologize to Merlin and to my people, you will not be returning home with your daughter. Is that understood?”

Uther leaned forward from where he sat with fury in his eyes. There was a right and wrong way to these things, and Arthur was choosing wrong, even if his conviction was unshakable. 

Gaius looked at Merlin with The Eyebrow as he smacked his lips and sighed. He offered another look, one that conveyed, “ You didn’t kiss that boy yet?”

Merlin looked sheepish, before he scanned the arena. 

Arthur wasn’t lying or bluffing in his speech. Given that he seemed to be like himself, he was not going to lose this match.

Especially considering Olaf’s age and Arthur’s opposite youth and vigor.

The match was beginning, finally, and Merlin tucked himself enough behind Gaius to be out of Uther’s sight. Not that Uther seemed like he’d look away from his son for a moment…

Arthur was doing well, in the beginning, too well, clocking Olaf and avoiding his swings perfectly. When Arthur began to look particularly blood-thirsty, though, Merlin saw his window. He didn’t want to harm Arthur too much, but he knew Olaf wouldn’t be capable of too much damage, so he risked a quick enchantment that tripped Arthur. Unfortunately, Arthur fell and faced Merlin, and recognized it was a spell he cast. He narrowed his eyes at Merlin, not noticing the warning on Merlin’s face, being spoken by him, and he was struck by Olaf’s quarterstaff in the ribs. 

A horn was blown and signaled the end of stage one. 

Gaius looked to Merlin. “You’re on your own for this one, Merlin. You know what to do.” 

Merlin nodded shortly. He ran out to the field and began to help Arthur, who was pouting and crossing his arms. 

-

“Come on, in you go.” Merlin said as he maneuvered Arthur, who he was supporting with his weight, into the tent. 

“Oh, shove it, would you leave me alone?” Arthur shouted. 

“What is wrong with you?” Merlin asked.

“No, Mer lin, what’s wrong with you ?” Arthur huffed. His face was constantly shifting with every emotion he would normally fight to conceal. “I’m doing this, all this, everything for you. And you, what? Give me a favor, and then get me killed? I can manage this fight, I don’t need your-” Arthur was cut off sharply by strong hands gripping his shoulders, pinning him to the tent pole, and Merlin’s lips touching his. 

Merlin finally kissed Arthur. 

Arthur, once he realized, moved his hand to Merlin’s waist, and dipped him. Merlin’s face lit up with shock, but Arthur didn't let go or break the kiss.

After a moment, they do separate, once Arthur eases Merlin back up. 

Arthur’s face contorts in pain. “Ow. What the-” He looks down at his armor. He sees the favor. He looks back to Merlin. His eyes are owlish. 

“Right. You’re in a fight. To the death. And right now-”

“Losing.” Arthur finishes. “After that big speech and everything. Why is that, Mer lin?”

“You can’t kill him. Please. Arthur, please, rescind the challenge.” 

“I can’t rescind after losing the first match. Do you know how that will look?” Arthur said as he started pacing. Before he opened his mouth again, a plan was formed. 

“Merlin. If anything should happen to me… I want you to know I have meant every word. That people have no right to treat you like you’re dispensable.” Arthur made his way toward the tent’s entrance. “You mean a lot to me, Merlin.” 

Merlin smiled as he handed Arthur his helmet.

And just like that, he was making his way back to the arena. 

Merlin made his way to his spot on the sideline and watched carefully as the second round began. 

Arthur makes eye contact with Merlin for most of the fight. It does something to help him this time, though, and he manages to disarm Olaf. He stands above his competition, poised and perfectly graceful, right before he throws his own sword aside. 

“This is no way to achieve peace.” Arthur calls out. “I rescind the challenge.”

Arthur offers Olaf a hand to help him up and the crowd cheers. Merlin and Arthur exchange smiles, before heading toward Arthur’s room to get him cleaned up. 

-

Merlin and Arthur don’t say anything until Arthur’s fully changed into day clothes. 

Merlin bites his lip before breaking the silence. 

“Arthur.”

Arthur looks him in the eye. 

“Thank you.” 

“For?” 

“Fighting for me like that. You didn’t need to.” Merlin said plainly. 

“Of course I did. It’s what I would have wanted to do, but not been able to do, without your love spell.” Arthur said. 

Merlin paled. “I’m sorry, my what ?”

Arthur laughed. “I know what you did. You gave me a love spell. Or a truth spell or something. I don’t know.” He smiled with his teeth. “Look, I get it. You had a crush on me. You didn’t trust that this could happen on its own. You sped things along.” 

“Well, the thing is, Arthur, I-”

“Don’t deny it, Merlin.” Arthur said. “How else can you explain the past few days?”

“I didn’t cast the spell. And it wasn’t supposed to make you fall for me, it was supposed to make you fall madly in love with “ Lady Vivian” ,” Merlin said mockingly. “Obviously, it didn’t work, so the Trickler got desperate, and he framed me to get at you. Don't you remember any of this?"

Arthur shook his head in thought. "But, no, but wait. That doesn’t make any sense. Why didn’t I fall for Vivian?” Arthur asked.

“Gaius has a few theories. Um, we aren’t fully one hundred percent.” Merlin admitted.

“Go on.”

Merlin sighed, but deep down, he knew he owed Arthur some sort of explanation. “It could have been a weak link. If they used her hair and somehow, you had mine already, the spell could have linked you to me. I could have been the first person you saw. Stuff like that.”

Arthur shook his head no . “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

Merlin looked exasperated. “It is… It’s possible that… Because I… care for you, that my magic, which has always sought to protect you… Well, that it offered me instead and it did, rewrite the spell. But, I didn’t do that knowingly, or on purpose, and-”

Arthur grabbed Merlin’s chin and tilted it upward. He leaned down and gave Merlin a chaste kiss. 

“Why did kissing me make it… less?” Arthur whispered. 

“Because we are… Well. We’re two sides of the same coin.” Merlin said.

“You keep saying that, I don’t know what that means.” Arthur said skeptically. 

“We’re soulmates, basically.”

“Soulmates?” Arthur asked, as he took a step backward.

Merlin nodded. “It is… our destiny, somehow, to be together. We’re fated.” 

Arthur looked around the room. “And you’re okay with this?” Arthur asked.

“Well, I have about as much of a say in it as you do.” Merlin said simply.

Arthur scoffed. 

“Arthur. This doesn’t have to change anything if you don’t want it to.” Merlin offered.

“Of course it changes things!” Arthur insisted loudly. “I mean. No, there’s no… going back to how it was before the spell, now. I’ve had to… face reality.” Arthur said.

Merlin tilted his head. 

“I do love you. I have loved you. I knew there was something about you the moment I met you. I just didn’t know what.” Arthur said, closing more of the space between him and Merlin. 

“Yeah, it was magic,” Merlin joked.

“No. It was just our destiny.” Arthur said.

The two stared at each other for a moment. 

"One mess at a time. Let's go see how the Kings are doing, now that the tournament is no more. We'll figure this out later." Arthur said.

Merlin gave a short nod, before following behind Arthur to the courtyard. Things were shaky, but Merlin knew deep down, he couldn't have expected it to be any sweeter than this.