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Chapter Text

Rooted to the spot, chest heaving and eyes pooled with tears Sidney watches, weighed down by the hopelessness of surrender, till the departing carriage becomes a tiny dot that slips over the horizon. A sorry figure alone on the hill, the reins of the horse slack in his hand, he cannot tear his eyes from the spot where the carriage has disappeared. He drops the reins and hugs himself, gasping for breath, pain pressing in sharply on his chest.  Engulfed in torment and wretchedness he pulls frantically at his shirt, then begins an agitated pacing and turning, his coat swishing in the wind. He bows low in the throes of grief, his face contorted, tears streaming. He wants to scream out her name, to howl his anguish at the world, but he cannot give voice to it; his throat choked off, no sound will come.

Turning blindly to his horse, pitching forward on the uneven ground, Sidney stumbles into its shoulder, hiding his face into its mane.  He weeps uncontrollably, gasping for air between sobs. The horse turns its face to him, nuzzling into his torso.

“I’ve lost her.  I’ve lost her,” he rasps against his horse’s neck, his voice little more than a husky whisper. “What have I done? I’ve lost her.”

With his sobs eventually subsiding he attempts to mount his horse, but has lost power in his legs and is so distressed that he cannot set his boot into the stirrup. Half blinded by tears, he swipes his sleeve across his eyes. Unable to halt the tide he gives up and opts to lead the horse along at a listless pace, uncaring of the stream of tears down his face.

 He drags his feet along the cliff road, towards the place a short distance away, where he and Charlotte had kissed on the day of the midsummer ball. His steps are slow and stumbling. From time to time he must wipe the back of his hand across his eyes for the simple purpose of seeing where he is going. 

At the point where he and Charlotte had kissed he is brought to a standstill, as memories rush in to torment;  occasionally bumping shoulders with her during their walk ... his tongue-tied attempts at intelligent discourse ... her shy laughter, and oh, the kiss ... the breeze teasing her hair around them ... the touch of her ... the warmth of her response ... tenderness ... emotion in him more wondrous than he had ever known ... the certainty of their shared love and longing ... his decision to ask for her hand at the midsummer ball ...

“So much I needed to say ...” he whispers, “so much ... forever unsaid...”

He looks out to sea, the brilliance of its shimmering surface causing shooting pain in his already moist eyes, before tearing his gaze back for a long moment in the direction the carriage has gone.  He is drowning in an ocean of despair and disbelief. Turning to his horse he lays his head against its shoulder for a second time, holding desperately onto its mane.

“I’ve sent her away. How can I bear it?”

The horse responds again, nudging him, whinnying softly against him. Much as he seeks tangible comfort from this connection, the extreme sorrow in Charlotte’s eyes with her brave attempt to refrain from crying leaves him inconsolable.  He cannot even attempt to banish this picture from his mind.

Finally pulling back he takes the reins again.  He is defeated, oblivious to whatever might be happening around him, not caring who might observe his distress. Teary-eyed, lost in misery, Sidney Parker trudges desolately on, down to Sanditon.

*  *  * 

Charlotte cannot bear to look back through the little rear window, afraid she will see Sidney in distress watching her disappearing into the distance, or find that he has ridden off in the opposite direction as soon as the carriage has moved away.  She does not know which would hurt more.

Knowing that Sidney had returned to London with Mrs Campion after the Babington wedding she is aware that he must have only travelled back to Sanditon this morning, so would have had to ride hard to intercept the Parker carriage. Shocked that he has done so, she wonders aloud, “Why?”

She thinks of her argument with him regarding a ‘proper parting’ for Georgiana and Otis, when Otis had come to Sanditon and the quarrel in the street occurred.  She then remembers his kindness in bringing Otis to Bedford Place for a final conversation with Georgiana. He has obviously taken to heart her words about proper partings.

Perhaps Sidney has come because he simply needed a proper parting ... has she actually stopped him from achieving some consolation, with the inevitability of their separation? Now she regrets interrupting him, as she wonders what he might have wished to say – to have come all this way in such haste, it must have been important.  Perhaps it was to share words of comfort? She feels the sting of tears at the thought she has prevented him from finding a way to make them both feel better. She is angry with herself for having thought for a brief moment that he was coming to say he would not be marrying Mrs Campion – how ridiculous of her to think he had found some other solution.

 Charlotte cannot bring herself to resent Sidney for what he has done to save the Parker family, but she is angry with Tom.  He did not have even a suspicion of the reason for her sadness as she left Trafalgar House – or if he did he ignored it – speaking only of Sanditon rising from the ashes, with no acknowledgement of the torment of her separation from Sidney and the destruction of their promise of a future together. She is trying to not think badly of Tom, but how can she forgive him?  Should she even try, when he simply does not appreciate that he has done anything wrong?  At least she will not have to listen any more to his rubbish prattle about Sidney finding his true love in Eliza. 

She thinks of Georgiana, and not being able to say goodbye.  Believing Georgiana is far too harsh on her guardian, she hopes her friend will come to appreciate his attempts to do better.  She cannot understand that Georgiana does not show some gratitude for Sidney’s paying of Otis’s debts and bringing him to Bedford Place to explain his behaviour and say farewell.

There is so much goodness in Sidney and it breaks her heart to think of him following Mrs Campion around like an obedient subordinate – he has lost his confidence, his spiritedness and self-regard.  There is no fire within, there is no joy; he is beaten, a version of him she has never seen before. She had witnessed him in his worst emotional state – or so she thought –when Georgiana was their main bone of contention, but even during the night of despair over her disappearance in London there was a force driving him to seek a solution.  Now there is only sadness as he is resigned to accepting his lot.  The man who assisted so ably after Old Stringer’s accident, the man who left no stone unturned to find his ward, the man who fought the blaze while his brother stood around fretting, waiting for him to provide the miracle and make everything alright, he is no longer here; it is as if he has become lost somewhere, strayed from his usual determined path.

 Charlotte is even displeased that Mary has not given Tom a scolding – why has she not expressed her displeasure and encouraged Tom to find his own solutions?   She has simply remained quiet and accepted that this is their fate. But then, what can a woman do?  There is proof all around that women are not regarded as capable in business – even though Tom had expected Charlotte to promote Sanditon at the London ball,  Sidney must have known she would have no place in the banks begging for money. Unless she could prove she already had wealth to bargain with, she would be laughed out of town, a subject of ridicule. Perhaps that is why he did not invite her to accompany him – wishing to shield her from the harsh reality of the business world. Oh it is all too confusing, and in any case it is too late, there is nothing to be done.

  If only Mrs Campion was a nicer lady – she thinks back to the Babington wedding, and wants to cry for the miserable man now in the widow’s power, miserable and compliant, allowing her to drag him about.

“Oh Sidney,” Charlotte says softly, “please take some control at least!  Do not allow her to browbeat you.”

In truth, Charlotte is most conflicted in her thoughts about Eliza Campion.  She has just this morning told Sidney that this woman loves him, but the selfish and possessive way Mrs Campion behaves is quite contrary to Charlotte’s own understanding of love. There is no true affection evident; it is as if she must own him. With Sidney and Charlotte doomed to be forever apart – much as she might wish it otherwise – she can only hope for his sake that he will find happiness with Mrs Campion, and even come to love her again. Perhaps he might bring out the best in her, and she might become worthy of his love and affection.

With a weary sigh, feeling heavy with fatigue and her eyes sore from crying Charlotte makes a sad decision, whispering now, “Accept it Charlotte, there is nothing to be done ... nothing ... noth ...” Her thoughts scattering, her eyelids drooping, she finally submits to the monotonous drumming and rumbling of the carriage, and finds escape in sleep.

Waking some time later to discover she is almost at Willingden, Charlotte makes a determined effort to leave this morning’s heart wrenching experience behind and to think of what is ahead, so she will not appear red eyed or upset upon arrival.  She steels herself to answer all the questions that she knows will come, and decides what to leave out of her story telling.

Chapter Text

Georgiana is reading a letter from Charlotte.

Georgiana, my dear friend,

It pains me to tell you that I am unable to visit you today as we had planned, to say farewell. Mr. Tom Parker has just informed me that he requires his carriage tomorrow, so regretfully I must hastily complete my packing to leave for Willingden within the hour.

I cannot tell you how much our friendship means to me! I will miss you most sorely. I will remember our time together with great affection, and I hope we can find a way to meet again soon.

Georgiana pouts, groaning as she rises to pace about the room in annoyance at this turn of events, then looks back to the letter.

There is one thing I must ask of you Georgiana – please try to see merit in my suggestion considering your guardian. I know that you believed you had the right to judge him harshly, but Sidney Parker is indeed a good man who has your best interests at heart, and who has come to appreciate your need for his affection as well as his guidance.  I will write more of my thoughts on this matter soon. I am only sorry that we cannot share the few hours we had set aside today for our final conversation.

Affectionately yours,

Charlotte

 Georgiana shrugs peevishly and throws the letter down onto her bed.  She goes to her writing desk, takes out a sheet of paper, picks up her quill and begins to write.

 *  *  *

Mrs Eliza Campion is most put out. She has waited through the morning for Sidney Parker to arrive at her house to discuss marriage plans. If he has no intention of coming – or is unable to – then surely he could have sent word. It is not as if he could have been mistaken.  She had made it perfectly clear last evening as he alighted from the carriage at Bedford Place on their return from that tedious, rustic Babington wedding that they must discuss their own plans this morning. She had noticed that he failed to reply, but then he had been in seemingly resentful humour during the whole journey back to London. Indeed he had spent the entire time staring out the carriage window, and had been so distant in his responses when she addressed him that she had eventually abandoned further efforts at conversation.

Eliza strongly suspects that Sidney’s apparent dudgeon was influenced by that Heywood girl.  What a pity Esther Denham had asked her to stand up for her – Sidney might think his sneaking looks in her direction while at the altar with Babington had gone unnoticed, but Eliza Campion is no fool.  At least that girl will no longer be a presence in their lives, as Mary Parker has confirmed she will be making her way home in the next few days. So, he will soon forget about her. There is much to catch up on.  She and Sidney will soon be as if they had never parted.

Her vexation with him for failing to arrive, however, becomes more acute as the morning passes. By midday she feels she has spent far too long pacing the room, agitatedly fixing her hair and checking at the window for any sign of his arrival.  Well then, if Sidney cannot be relied upon to attend her home, she must go to him and demand his attention at Bedford Place.  In fact, she will insist that he accompany her back in her own carriage. She would prefer to conduct their discussion in the comfort of her own home.

Arriving at Bedford Place, Mrs Campion is offended to not be invited in, but simply advised by the hired help that Mr Sidney Parker has had to travel to Sanditon on urgent business very early this morning, with no indication of when he might be returning.  Her shock at this news is made worse by the fact that Sidney has apparently not seen fit to advise her of his change to their plans.  It is difficult to refrain from stamping her foot in agitation.

“Advise Mr Parker when he returns,” she demands haughtily, “that I must see him without delay. It is a matter of urgency, and cannot be put off indefinitely!”

“Yes Ma’am,” is the politely indifferent response.

Eliza stomps angrily back to her carriage, planning her admonishment to the finest detail.  Sidney will not make this mistake again.  Eliza Campion will not be ignored!

*  *  *

Knowing he must try to put his tragic thoughts behind him Sidney decides to meet with Lady Denham, to discuss the current situation with the rebuilding of Sanditon.  By bringing her up to date now he should be able to avoid another trip to Sanditon for several weeks.  He arrives at Sanditon House and with a word of thanks to the groomsman he hands him the reins of his horse.  He has always had an aversion to visiting this cheerless, uninviting estate. He stands reluctantly in front of the house and inhales deeply, unwilling to be here and determined to put this ordeal behind him as quickly as possible.

As he is announced and moves forward to speak with Lady Denham Sidney is struck as always by the distasteful furnishings of the room and the cold, hard emptiness of the space; the uncomfortable chairs and the ridiculous incompatibility of the art on display, all its bodies on the walls having no relevance to the hideous serpent on the floor, an oddly incongruous mix at best.

Lady Denham remarks that she is very pleased to have him call, but wastes no time in launching into a barrage of questions concerning the current situation with the Sanditon project. They discuss the work at the site, and she is particularly scathing in her comments about Tom’s inability to manage the project properly. It is obvious to Sidney that she is inviting comment from him, but while he could admit to thoughts that would be in accord with her own he chooses to ignore her penchant for criticism of his brother.

Sidney goes into some detail about the creditors, informing Lady Denham that he has contacted all who are owed and paid the most urgent bills, and that other payments will be made in order of priority as funds become available.  Those creditors requiring urgent payment he has managed to satisfy from his own funds at this stage, not wanting to ask Eliza to assist, but he refrains from mentioning this to Lady Denham. He has no desire to be on the receiving end of her snide remarks concerning the Parkers’ financial dependency on his betrothed, so keeps the conversation as brief as possible, limiting it to nothing more than necessary topics.

Lady Denham expresses her approval that Sidney is now calling the shots on the clearing of debris and the proposed rebuild.  Suddenly very gracious towards Sidney, she states that she is relieved he has also taken control of the finances from Tom.  He is surprised by her comments as she has never shown any goodwill towards him in the past. As if she has read his mind, in her usual abrupt style she makes no bones about it that she used to think Sidney unreliable but in recent weeks has changed her view.  She mentions Miss Heywood, throwing him a strange, knowing look which gives him pause; although he is sure she is unaware of what has actually happened between him and Charlotte. She talks only of the young lady’s apparent influence over the people concerned with Sanditon’s development, and expresses disappointment when Sidney advises of Miss Heywood’s return to Willingden, as they could have used her skills going forward.

“Such a pity she decided to return to that village she hails from,” she declares, “Such a good sort of girl, full of opinions of course, but her thoughts were indeed quite sound.  She seemed very proficient, and at least able to keep your brother’s ideas in check!”

Sidney is uncomfortable with the direction the conversation is taking, well aware that Charlotte’s decision to return early to her family home was entirely the result of his engagement to Mrs. Campion.  Feeling a sudden surge of guilt he quickly changes the subject away from talk of Charlotte. He has worked hard on his way here to gather his wits and put her from his mind, intent on giving full attention to this meeting. To speak of her, even to think of her will mean he risks becoming a weeping fool before this scornful old woman and he must not allow himself to fall victim to her mockery.

Of one thing, he is certain.  He will only continue to be involved in the management of this project until Tom’s debts are cleared.  He has no intention of taking over beyond the foreseeable future as he simply wants to leave Sanditon behind. With the way he is feeling at this juncture he longs to ride hard out of this depressing place, never to return.  Although loath to admit it he is in danger of becoming emotionally unravelled, and to have to live in this town, with nothing left of Charlotte but memories, would be the very thing to bring him completely undone.

Relieved to have business dealt with, Sidney finally manages to bid Lady Denham good day and withdraw from Sanditon House. Once he mounts his horse he turns back to stare at the building, wondering how anyone could find even a scrap of contentment living in this mausoleum.  No wonder this woman is such a tyrant.  He thinks over his conversation with her and suddenly feels overwhelmed by the obligation that has come upon him with his efforts to save his family from ruin – a situation that is the result of his brother’s impetuosity and disregard for others. Once again, he is robbed of his hopes and dreams, due to the actions of another. He did not ask for this!  He looks skyward to seek the warmth of the sun on his face as he departs the grounds of this cold, inhospitable place.

“I hate you Tom,” he says, “I hate you brother.”

Chapter Text

His duty to Lady Denham now dealt with, Sidney stables his horse and makes his way to his favourite cove, intent on taking some bracing exercise and putting his thoughts in order. The water is chilly, something he usually enjoys and he strikes out, planning to swim until comfortably tired. Today, however, he finds the whole activity tedious, so leaves the water and dresses unhurriedly before heading towards the main expanse of beach.

Stopping on the sand he looks out to sea, hoping that perhaps it may bring him some sense of calm. For some time he stands, staring out across the waves but finds no relief from his cheerless thoughts. Eventually he turns slowly to head away, stumbling slightly as his weary feet drag through the soft sand. He looks up to the buildings that have some view of the shore, Mrs. Griffiths’ residence amongst them. Looking to Georgiana’s window, seeing only the reflection of the sun in its glass he thinks of the times he has come upon Charlotte there, visiting with Georgiana, and knows with an ache in his heart that it will never happen again. With a deep sigh he moves on.

* * *

My dear Charlotte,

I cannot believe fate has yet again been so unkind to us, that we must forego some final time together before you have to leave!   

I detest both my despicable guardian and his dim-witted older brother at this moment. I can barely hold back tears – I am so angry with both of them!  I do not understand why Sidney has allowed his brother to dictate his future and shown such weakness in his regard for you. I cannot bear that he has hurt you so badly. Nor can I understand how you can forgive his actions and not think poorly of him! Did I not warn you he was not to be trusted? And what will happen to me when he marries this terrible woman from London, I do not know.  I have no wish to live with her, and she will not want me anyway, but I shudder at the very thought of living out my time as his ward with the gorgon and these ridiculous Beaufort girls!

I am sure you will at least be happy to find yourself again in the midst of your family.

Alas, I cannot consider what you have asked of me regarding my guardian. As I have no affection for him at this moment, my anger prevents my even trying to share your point of view, and I cannot imagine that my opinion will change. If this distresses you then I apologise, but I cannot be less than honest. That is something I have learned from you.

Without doubt we have some amusing memories to hold close.  With my guardian’s engagement to that awful widow I am sure he will arrange my life according to her demands so who can say if I might ever see you again. She will want no part of my friendship with you, of that I am certain, and when she demands something from him, he simply obeys without question.

At least I can communicate with you by letter – Sidney would never forbid that, so I will write to you again soon. 

Your most affectionate friend,

Georgiana

Georgiana reads through the letter, seals it and calls for Crockett. Moving to the window as she waits, she notices a gentleman standing on the beach. Hat in hand he is very still, looking out across the water. Although he has his back to her she recognises Sidney and wonders with surprise why he is back in Sanditon, having only left for London yesterday with Mrs. Campion. As she watches, he turns slowly and begins to walk away. She ponders his sluggish pace. He is walking like a man exhausted, his boots kicking up a little sand as he appears to stumble. Her first thought is that he is inebriated, but although he has almost tripped there is no sign of a stagger. He is simply tramping heavily through the sand as though too weary to lift his feet.

When Crockett enters the room Georgiana absently hands the letter to her to post to Miss Heywood, her eyes still on her guardian. Unexpectedly he looks up towards her window and she moves back quickly to avoid being seen, feeling a strange, inexplicable stab to the chest. She is shocked by the extreme sadness in his face. Used to seeing him moody and irritated, she is at a loss to understand this change in him. In her confusion she turns swiftly and calls Crockett back.

“Crockett, stop. I have changed my mind. There is something in the letter that I wish to think over before sending it. Leave it with me for now.”

As Crockett hands back the letter and turns to leave, Georgiana looks at it again before hiding it under the pad on her writing desk away from prying eyes. The anger she felt while writing it has dissipated somewhat. She walks to the window and looks out again, but Sidney has moved away. She thinks of Charlotte’s letter, recalling the lines regarding Sidney’s wish to make amends and her desire for Georgiana to make an effort...

“Oh yes, Charlotte,” she mutters, thinking aloud, “I did have the right to judge him harshly! He treats me with disdain! You see a good man but I do not. As to my best interests, no, no, Charlotte, he does not care!”

As if seeking validation for her own harsh opinions Georgiana thinks over the years she has known Sidney. She reflects back to Antigua and her vague memory of the early days following his arrival, when he had never seemed to venture out of his room.  Ever the inquisitive child she had asked her father who this man was, and he assured her they would meet in good time.  Eventually Sidney Parker began to spend time with her father at his work, and to dine with them, becoming accepted as if he were family. She can recall a few pleasant times over their evening meals, when Sidney was kind to her, giving her his attention, seemingly taken with her childish chatter.  He would even show curiosity about her activities and pay heed especially to what book she might be reading. He was a good man then ...before her father’s death, but now ... is he really no different?

Is Charlotte correct in her thinking? Can she truly see a good man behind Sidney’s brusque exterior? Is it not just her strong feeling for him that makes her so persistent in her wish for Georgiana to make peace with him? He has always been harsh and unbending as her guardian. Does he actually have the capacity for softer feelings?

Unexpectedly, a memory comes to her, of watching Sidney striding the beach after visiting her, when they had promised each other that they would both do better as ward and guardian. Surprisingly, it has a sobering effect, as at the time, her promise was simply a lie, a false assurance to distract him from his determination to keep her away from Mr. Molyneux. Oh, how it has irked her to discover he had good reason to keep them apart. She is startled to find herself wishing that this purposeful man could be here at this moment, to speak of their current situation, share his plans for her and perhaps give her advice that might help to dispel her loneliness.

Where have these thoughts come from? Is this a yearning to have the old Sidney Parker back – the kind Sidney from Antigua days? Or is this some influence she feels from Charlotte’s letter? Surely she should not be considering Charlotte’s words as wise advice, when her friend has allowed herself to fall in love with this man who has so easily broken her heart and driven her away? But why does he look so miserable?

Georgiana shakes her head slowly, and gazes sadly out to the beach. Her forehead falls forward to rest against the window pane as more memories push in on her, memories she has kept at bay, nostalgic and sad, memories she can no longer ignore.

The window fogs up as she whispers against the glass, “Oh, Papa. Why did you leave me?”

* * *

Without conscious thought Sidney is drawn to the river. His head is again full of Charlotte and he cannot resist the urge to revisit this place of pleasant memories. Approaching the familiar patch at the water's edge he reminisces about the day they had first called a truce and later played with the children, with their toy boats. He smiles at the memory of Charlotte being nicknamed ‘Admiral ’eywood’, a title bestowed by a young girl at play, unaware of how fitting it might be. He thinks of the banter they had enjoyed that day, and a specific comment from Charlotte comes to mind:

          ‘Can we not re-write our history if we find it disagreeable?’

Sidney closes his eyes, facing the skies, wishing Charlotte could be by his side; that they could be together at this very moment, making truth of those very words. If only this could be the reality. If only...

Now staring across the river he contemplates his future without Charlotte – the way it must be from this day forth. He can never again engage in conversation with her, appreciate her wit, laugh with her, or admire her intelligence. He can never again welcome her closeness, touch her hand, breathe in her scent, or simply pause to take in her beauty. Through all the uncertainties of their history, they had eventually come to know the mutual love and affection that she had insisted must be present for one to consider marriage. They had embraced it joyfully, their hearts singing in warm and tender harmony for but a brief, stolen moment in time. The loss of it now ... this is too cruel to contemplate.

Wandering farther along the riverbank, still with thoughts of their conversations filtering through his mind Sidney considers their exchange at the regatta event, as they selected and placed the oars into the boat:

          ‘A man cannot step into the same river twice.’

He recalls his surprise that Charlotte had recognised and completed the quote, and his immediate realisation that of course she would know it. He looks back to their conversation in the boat, their talk of happiness, confusion and compatibility, and to how he had welcomed his developing feelings – unfortunately brought to a sudden halt, interrupted by Eliza’s shout from the riverbank. He remembers his guilty reaction to her calling his name, as if caught behaving without propriety. He regrets that reaction, wishing he could turn back the clock and respond differently, showing his unwavering admiration for Charlotte to whoever might be watching.

He bends forward, making a low, distressed growling sound, hands on his knees, struggling for breath. Inhaling heavily, he stares blankly at the ground. He remembers her specific response to his confused remarks regarding marriage:

          ‘I suppose it’s just a question of compatibility.’

Closing his eyes he slowly rises to full height again, drawing his hands up, wrapping his arms round his body as if the pain and trauma might ease with his own tight embrace. Even with eyes squeezed shut, he cannot escape – her image is there, a visual hallucination clearly stamped on the backs of his eyelids.

“Oh my love,” he says on a whisper, “must I see you everywhere?”

He takes a deep breath, grabbing at his hair, then sighs heavily continuing to look across the water as he drags a hand across his brow, wiping at the perspiration beading there. How ironic, that the sun should shine so brightly today, while it rains so heavily in his heart.

When he finally turns to continue towards Trafalgar House Sidney's shoulders are slouched and his head is down, a picture of defeat and despair. He kicks carelessly at the stones in his path as he shuffles clumsily along.

Chapter Text

Sidney comes into the dining room, where Mary is sitting drinking tea.  She jumps up in surprise and they embrace as she welcomes him.  “Sidney!  You are back in Sanditon already!”

“Yes. I left London at first light.”

“I am sorry, you have missed Charlotte. She has just this morning left for Willingden,” she says cautiously.

“No. I saw her Mary. I went to the Crown to take a room and the owner mentioned Miss Heywood had just left Sanditon to return home.”  He frowns as they sit down. “I had thought Tom said she would be leaving tomorrow.  How I got that wrong I don’t know.”

Mary pours Sidney a cup of tea, placing it in front of him. 

“Oh. Yes. We did have it planned for tomorrow but Tom wants the carriage, so she agreed to leave a day early.” 

“Ah-h ... Well I rode straight back out,” he says, “I intercepted the carriage a little way out of town,” he drops his shoulders, “so we’ve said our farewells.”

“Oh, I am so sorry.”

Sidney looks at her in silence for a moment, and then nods, knowing she is aware how difficult today must be for him.  Although not sure it is wise to speak of his disappointing attempt at a final conversation with Charlotte this morning, he feels a need to confide in his sister-in-law. 

“You’re very perceptive Mary.  It’s no wonder you and Charlotte became fast friends. You are similar in many ways,” he says as he fidgets with his tea cup.

“Are you alright Sidney?” Mary asks sympathetically.

Sidney shrugs.  “I’m not happy. Charlotte is not happy ... to my shame.  I know her distress is entirely down to me, but it appears she’s forgiven me.  In fact, when I returned from London the week after the fire and told her what I had to do, she said that ... that she understood.”

They are both silent as they sip their tea.

“I wanted to say some important things to her today,” he says, eventually, toying with his cup again, “but ... the words ...” he frowns, appearing irritated, “I couldn’t express myself in the manner I’d intended. I know the importance she places on a proper parting, and I wanted to offer a suitable apology and encourage her to find happiness, but instead ... she must have thought me utterly selfish.  I begged her to not think badly of me! As if I had the right!” he exclaims, now angry with himself, “I’m a thick-headed fool, Mary ... but in truth, all I wanted to do was go back ... back to before the fire, and ... and begin again.”

Mary puts her hand over his closest to her on the table as he continues, “She said I must speak well of Eliza, that I must try to make Eliza happy. Her ... understanding, her acceptance ... it was difficult to bear.  I think it would’ve been easier had she shouted at me, displayed anger towards me.”

They both sit in silence for a while, Mary not knowing how to comfort him.

“She is so sad, Mary,” he says, his voice breaking, “I’m besieged with guilt. What can I do for her?”

“Do?” she asks, puzzled.

His face crumples as he drags a hand through his hair. “To ... help her find comfort ...”

“I am sure she will find that Sidney,” Mary replies, herself close to tears, “she has a most affectionate family.  They will comfort her, and create diversion for her – if she even allows them to see her sadness.”

“I know she’s strong Mary, but I’ve hurt her so badly.”

There is a pause while both look down at their hands. Sidney sighs heavily, working to compose himself before changing the subject.

“Speaking of being with family, I’ve changed my plan for taking a room at the Crown,” he says, “I’ll have to go back to London in the next day or so anyway. I had no wish to make the situation awkward for Charlotte by staying here, but as she’s already gone I’d prefer to be here instead of the hotel, do you mind?”

“Of course not,” Mary replies, “Indeed that is a very good idea.”

Sidney nods, looking into his cup, but then pushes it away, leaving most of the tea unconsumed.

“I’ll see to my things. Excuse me,” he says, rising to leave.

“Of course,” she replies.

Mary watches him move away from the table and head through the doorway.  She sighs and puts her hands up to either side of her face, muttering, “This is not right.”

*  *  *

Charlotte arrives in Willingden in the late afternoon, to the excitement of warm embraces and what seems like the welcome of a thousand voices. She has no time for thoughts of Sidney now as she is so busy answering eager questions, explaining her experiences and speaking of the friendships she has made during her summer in Sanditon. She talks of the resort, of becoming Tom’s assistant and tidying up his chaotic paperwork, things she did with Mary and the children, her friendship with heiress Georgiana Lambe, the accident to Old Mr Stringer and the excitement of the cricket match.  Some of her tales have already reached them through her letters home, such as the enjoyment she had sea bathing, visits to Lady Denham, the planning and success of the regatta and her friendship with Lady Worcester.  She mentions that there is much more to tell, but she will leave some of it for another day. There will of course be some aspects of her adventure that she will leave out altogether; any talk of London balls, kidnappings, meetings at secluded coves and kisses on cliff tops will simply not be part of her story.

The family is excited to hear Charlotte tell of being Esther’s attendant at the Babington wedding and how lovely the day was.  She is careful to speak only in passing about Sidney as she does not wish to alert anyone to how she is feeling and so have to explain what has occurred, and how close she came to being engaged to him.  She is particularly relieved that she had not informed Alison, as that would mean talking to her privately to explain she had assumed too much and it would be a difficult conversation if she wanted to avoid tears.  Alison is aware she was intrigued and confounded by him but of course the letter she was writing when he arrived back at Trafalgar House was not posted; she had crumpled it and tossed it away as she was packing her belongings to leave Sanditon. Alison would no doubt have plenty of unfavourable things to say about him, and she simply could not cope with that at this point in time. Perhaps one day she might be able to speak of it without tears.

Telling a little of the sadness of Mr Stringer’s death and funeral, she is careful to not elaborate on her friendship with Young Stringer, simply describing him as a good friend she feels sorry for, losing his Da. The last thing she wants is to have people asking awkward questions about possible attachments.

*  *  *

Eliza sits at her desk, extremely annoyed with Sidney. He is not behaving as she had expected when she offered to clear his brother’s debts in return for marriage.  It should not be this difficult. This reluctance on his part to comply with her wishes simply will not do.  It is time to impress upon him where his priorities must lie. She takes a piece of paper and begins to write:

Sidney,

I must say, I am not pleased. I was deeply disappointed with you today, having waited through the morning for you to arrive to discuss our wedding plans, only to have you not attend my home as I requested last evening.

It was with great concern for your wellbeing that I ventured to Bedford Place this afternoon, alas to be informed by your uncaring servant that you had gone on urgent business to Sanditon. Even worse, the servant was unable to advise me as to the day and time of your planned return to London.

I do appreciate that at this time the Sanditon disaster is in need of your attention, but it is surely not of more importance than ensuring our arrangements are in place for a perfect day when we are united in matrimony. Indeed, without doubt the success of the Sanditon venture depends upon it.

I can only iterate I am most disappointed in your failure to consider my wishes. I request that you call to see me immediately, upon your return from Sanditon. 

I do hope that in the future this Sanditon venture will not intrude upon our valuable planning time. That you are spending so much effort on what is essentially your brother’s debacle is less than impressive, I have to say.

I must insist, Sidney that your future trips to Sanditon are undertaken when plans I have already put in place for our time together are not interrupted. I do find it difficult to understand that you have failed to advise me of your whereabouts on this occasion.  Please ensure that this does not occur again.

Eliza.

Calling for a servant to take the letter to Bedford Place immediately, Eliza settles back satisfied her missive will convince Sidney that his failure to consider her first must be a thing of the past.  He will change his behaviour. He needs her fortune, so if she seeks his attention, he will comply. It is a small price to pay.

Chapter Text

James Stringer and Fred Robinson are at the work site, taking a break for a meal. They discuss recent events in Sanditon and Charlotte’s departure for Willingden.  Stringer cannot understand why Sidney Parker has become engaged to Mrs Campion, but while sorry that Charlotte is heartbroken he is happy that she is free.

“How are you feeling now,” asks Fred, “with the loss of your Da so recent and now Miss Heywood gone from town just this morning?”

Stringer responds gloomily, “It’s lonely in the house but I have the dog for company. As to Miss Heywood I have to face it, she sees me only as a friend.”

“The competition’s gone," Fred replies. "You should write to her.”

“No,” James responds sharply, “She’s heartbroken.  I won’t upset her further.”

“Perhaps she’d welcome the distraction,” Fred counters. 

“If a distraction is all I can be then I’ll not bother her,” James says flatly, “I can’t for dear life understand why Sidney Parker would have done what he did, Miss Heywood was so sure she had a future with him but then he suddenly became engaged to the widow who’d come sweeping into town for the regatta.”

“He possibly thought himself ready to propose but suddenly his preferred choice became available again.  Wasn’t there a rumour about him being jilted by her years ago?” asks Fred.

“I don’t know the story of it, we certainly didn’t associate with each other, but if she did throw him over then more fool him for getting taken in again now, don’t you think?”

“Well I don’t know much about how the heart works,” says Fred noncommittally.

“Make no mistake,” James continues, “I admire his stepping up and fixing things here, making sure we are all paid and still have work. We’ve much to thank him for, his brother’s made an appalling mull of things and we would’ve all lost our livelihoods if not for Sidney Parker.”

“So you do think well of him then?”

James sighs as he admits his thoughts, ““Well, I can’t say he deserves Miss Heywood, but he is a good businessman, and does not hesitate to assist those in need of a kind deed. I realised that when he helped after my father’s accident, and he offered his sympathy and assistance after the fire. But he’s left Miss Heywood so easily for this other woman. And now he seems miserable – I just don’t understand,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

“I suppose,” Fred says, “if this woman who used to be the love of your younger years turns up again – perhaps that can throw a fellow into a state of confusion. Perhaps he never got over her. I don’t think he’s ever come into Sanditon with a woman on his arm in recent years.”

“Oh,” James, says ruefully, “I thought he was trifling with Miss Heywood’s affections, but I realised he was very much taken with her in the end.  I know they had some fierce arguments and I recall her describing him as ‘disagreeable’, but at the midsummer ball she told me she’d found a reason to stay in Sanditon. He looked quite besotted with her that evening. That depth of feeling does not simply disappear overnight. That's why it's so strange, what he's done. it just doesn't make sense!”

“You seem generous towards him!”

“Oh, I was envious at the ball.  I admit I stepped in quickly when I saw him moving towards her to ask her to dance.”

“So you got to her first?” Fred asks, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

“Huh!” James says with a grunt, “For what good it did me. Miss Heywood was only doing me a favour as a friend.  She seemed disappointed he hadn’t reached her first. She kept looking away.  I knew she was seeking him out.”

“That must have hurt?”

“I knew I didn’t have a chance, she’s too far above me anyway. I want her to be happy though and I could see she was, until the fire.”

“That fire changed Parker’s life,” Fred observes, “with taking on all the management. He’s doing a better job than his brother.”

"He is. But it doesn't seem to make him happy. On the few occasions he’s been back to Sanditon since his engagement he’s argued with Tom Parker. He’s always angry with him.  Perhaps he resents being relied upon to keep the work moving. He has his own business in London to take care of as well. His brother’s probably thrown that into disarray.  And then of course, the woman he’s to marry is in London so if they’re missing each other ...”  

Shrugging, Fred nods his agreement, and then looks up, his face registering surprise.

“Oh. Look sharp!  It appears we’ve conjured him up!”

Fred motions toward Sidney who is approaching them.  His face is strained. They welcome him politely.  He stops to discuss business with Young Stringer, quite content to include Fred in this conversation.  

Both men are intrigued; Sidney runs his hands through his hair several times while they discuss the rebuild.  He is wearing a scowl and appears to have difficulty maintaining interest in the conversation. He tells them he will call again before returning to London, in the next day or two.  As Sidney leaves the site Fred comments on his bearing.

"I see what you mean,” he says, “He has an air of dejection about him. It seems to me in spite of his engagement that is one forlorn and troubled gentleman. Maybe this betrothal isn’t all they’d have us believe.”

Stringer shrugs, as they watch Sidney’s retreating figure.

*  *  *

Tom stands by the fire, drink in hand.  He glances up as Mary enters the room.

“Sidney is very restless tonight,” he says conversationally, “obviously missing his beloved Eliza.”

Throughout the afternoon Mary has been much troubled, her thoughts with Sidney and their earlier conversation.  She stops, stares at Tom and shakes her head in disbelief.  In a moment of desperation she decides that enough is enough, and taking a deep breath strides across the room to face him directly, hands on hips.

“You astonish me Tom!” she declares.

He jerks his head in surprise.

“You have no idea what is ailing Sidney,” she continues, “and I truly believe that you would not want to accept the truth of it anyway, despite the pain it causes him.  You would deny it, and believe whatever you wish, simply to suit your own purpose!”

“Whatever can you mean my dear?”  Tom asks, astonished.

Mary looks at him, exasperated, “There is so much that you simply fail to see Tom!”

“Oh no, Mary, I beg to differ,” he replies, “I do see!  His lovelorn look, he is far away in London tonight. His thoughts are with Eliza.”

His smug assurance makes Mary want to scream at him.

“No. No! That is not ... so!”

He jumps in fright as with the lasts word she slams her hand down on the table. “He is far away, yes, but he is not in London! He is far from London!”

Tom looks startled, then perplexed, as she takes another deep breath.

“One day Tom Parker, not too far in the future I hope, you will come to see just what it is that ails Sidney! What you insist to be the situation is as far from the truth as it could possibly be.”  She moves close to him, removes the glass from his hand and pokes him hard in his chest, “And it is down to you!  It should never have come to this! What you demand of him has made his life a misery because...”

“My dear ...” Tom interrupts, stiff with resistance to her jabbing but afraid to grasp her hand to stop her.

All at once Mary becomes aware of Sidney’s entry into the room. She hastily takes a step back from Tom.

“Mary, my dear ...” Tom splutters.

Mary holds up her hand, “Not now Tom.” She looks over to Sidney, embarrassed.

“It’s alright Mary, I heard,” Sidney says resignedly, “I’m too weary to discuss it anyway. It’s not as if it would accomplish anything.”

Mary looks sadly at Sidney, nods to him and glares back at Tom who is open-mouthed.  She turns to leave, saying, “I must see the children to bed,” then swings back, pointing at Tom.  "Later!" she says sharply.

Sidney glances at Tom and then looks back to Mary to ask, “May I join you?”

“Of course," she replies, giving Sidney a warm smile, "they will want that. They are delighted you are here tonight.”

He steps aside to allow her to lead the way from the room. As Tom stares at him, Sidney pauses, giving him a look of loathing before moving to follow Mary. Tom watches them move towards the stairs, then slowly picks up his glass, frowning in bewilderment.

*  *  *

The children are all sad, bemoaning Charlotte’s departure.  Henry wants her here to read them a story. Jenny states most emphatically that she is missing her already and Alicia asks when she will be returning to Sanditon.  Mary explains that they don’t know when Charlotte might return, as she has been away from her home for so long and the Heywood family will be pleased to have her back.  The general complaining continues until Sidney makes a suggestion.

“I think perhaps Charlotte would be very pleased to receive a letter from you.  Do you think you can do that?” he asks.

The children agree happily to his suggestion, chattering excitedly about what they wish to send to Charlotte, Alicia suggesting that they address their letters to Admiral ’eywood.

“Now,’ Sidney says, authority in his voice, “that’s something to think on in the morning. It’s time to settle now, time for sleep.”  He kisses each of the girls on the top of the head and says, “Good night little ladies!”

The girls fall about on their beds, giggling at the thought that they are ladies.  As always, their cheerful response to his comments lightens his heart. At least in their company he is accepted without the judgement of those who expect so much of him.  He can simply be Uncle Sidney, knowing he is loved without conditions. 

Happy now, the girls finally settle and wish the adults good night.  Sidney sweeps Henry into his arms and takes him to his room, tucks him in and ruffles his hair as he shares goodnight wishes with him before walking with Mary to the drawing room. With relief he notices that Tom has removed to the study. It has been an exhausting day and he will head back to London tomorrow, so after a few quiet moments now with Mary he will retire for the night.

Sidney pours drinks, handing one to Mary as they sit down in front of the fireplace.

“Talk to me Sidney.”

“What about?”

“You know what about.”

He looks into the flames.  She waits.  Nothing.  If she wants him to share his feelings, Mary must be the one to start the conversation. 

Chapter Text

Attempting to draw Sidney out of his apparent trance, Mary says, “You rushed back today.”

He looks across at her, but remains silent.

Mary tries again. “What exactly brought you here today?”

“Need you ask?” he responds.

“So, it was only to farewell Charlotte?”

“Yes,” he says glumly, “I left London early as I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d have time to seek Charlotte out and ask if she'd walk with me today.  I wanted to explain things better.  I couldn’t bear to leave it the way it was, but I fear I’ve hurt her even more, rushing out, chasing her down with my thoughts so scattered.”

“I was concerned for both of you at the Babington wedding,” Mary replies, “It must have been difficult, standing up there together for the bride and groom.”

“It was,” he says, “I wanted to speak with her but couldn’t find an opportunity, until Lady D took it upon herself to  embarrass us.”

“Oh? What did she say?”  

“She declared that Charlotte would be walking down the aisle very soon, and asked my opinion.”

“Oh no!”

“Yes. We attempted a conversation then, but it was awkward. To have to be so formal with her ... when we’d ... I’d ... of course, Eliza noticed us together and quickly intervened with her penny’s worth. She ensured our conversation was brief,” he says as he places his glass on the side table.

“I know Charlotte was determined to give of her best until the wedding,” Mary remarks, “and Esther was grateful to have her. I wasn’t surprised she decided to go back to Willingden. She said it’s time.”

“I hope she can settle,” he says sadly, looking down at the palms of his hands, “I wished her every happiness this morning.  I’ve nothing else to offer her now.”

They sit quietly, Sidney staring at the flames and Mary unwilling to interrupt his thoughts. Eventually he begins to talk, and they reminisce about the way Charlotte had fitted in so easily with the family. They speak of her many qualities, particularly her ability to befriend and help others.  Mary tells of Charlotte’s assistance at the carriage accident in Willingden, her interest in Tom’s description of Sanditon and her delight at being invited to come for the summer. 

“New maid,” Sidney says with a groan, hiding his face in his hands.

Mary laughs softly and chides him for his dismissive comments that day. He surprises her with his admission that it was a bumbling attempt to protect his heart.

“So you noticed her even then.”

“Yes. I regret my behaviour. I took so long to appreciate her. Things could have been so different, had I not been such a fool. I chose to believe she was a frivolous girl who’d come to Sanditon looking for a husband.  What a preposterous assumption that turned out to be! ”

“Well, with time I saw she was not indifferent to you, even though you appeared to clash. I noticed the changes in both of you, in each other’s company. At the midsummer ball I was convinced an announcement would be made.”

“It should have been.”

“Yes.  It should have been,” she agrees kindly, “I was already thinking of her as family. And the children – she’s been wonderful with them. They adore her.”

“How could they not?  She loves them too.”

During the next hour, Mary listens while Sidney unburdens his soul somewhat, speaking of situations when he and Charlotte either locked horns or found enjoyment in banter and teasing.  She is surprised by his contrite admission of berating Charlotte on the balcony at the first ball, and the detail of their argument in the street.  When he speaks of the disparaging remarks made by an obviously jealous Eliza at the regatta, and again at the Babington wedding, she feels great sympathy for Charlotte and anger towards the arrogant woman who will be her sister-in-law. The more Sidney relates of his history with Charlotte, the more Mary becomes convinced this travesty must be remedied, but sadly she knows she is powerless to intervene, or find a solution.

Eventually, Sidney comes to the end of his tales, with a final comment, “So many times I was harsh with her, I even brought her to tears.”

“But she forgave you?”

“She did, which makes it so much worse that I’ve sent her away. So often she showed me up for the arrogant and dismissive fool that I was.  And yet, somehow, she still managed to come to admire me.  She redeemed me ... she ... brought me back to life.  I had such dreams ...” His voice falters, his attention distracted, "I cannot think clearly about anything.  These feelings tear at my heart.”  He drops his head almost to his chest as he mumbles, “It's physically painful Mary.”

Feeling a wrench to her own heart and lost for words of comfort, Mary reaches to his hand now resting on his knee, gently placing hers over it. 

“Such dreams,” he says again, “all lost ... out there somewhere.”  He waves his other hand vaguely away from his body as if to indicate all his hopes of happiness have left him, to turn to dust far away in some torturous place he cannot reach, to try to pull them back.  Bringing his head up again, he looks at her in agony, his eyes damp. “Where do dreams go to die Mary?  I think my heart has gone with them.”

Her own eyes well up as she shakes her head slowly, and squeezes his hand. Sidney looks back to the fire, and a single tear spills. 

For several minutes, the only sounds in the room are from the occasional crackling and shifting of the logs in the flames. Mary finally breaks the silence, asking gently, “And what are your feelings for Eliza?” 

Closing his eyes and shaking his head, Sidney replies, “I shouldn’t speak of this. After all, I’m committed. It seems disloyal. It will accomplish nothing.”

“Sidney, I need to understand.  Please.”

He reaches for his glass and takes a sip from his drink, silent for a moment before responding quietly, “I can barely tolerate being in the same room. Oh she knows when to be sweet and charming with those she might wish to impress, but otherwise?  She is rude and hurtful, showing not a whit of kindness to anyone.”

“Oh Sidney ...”

“The circle she moves in, their life is foreign to me.  They’re idle and spiteful. In this they imitate her and she enjoys it.  And as for me ... her possessiveness is suffocating.”  He stares into his glass. “I only hope that will change, now Charlotte has moved away. It’s clear she’s been harbouring jealousy against Charlotte. Perhaps my feelings have been too evident ... Eliza was well aware after the regatta, she waited for me but I told her ...” His voice fades away as he stares again into the fire.

Mary waits but he seems to have lost the desire to continue with that last thought. Believing it may be too painful she decides to speak of something else and perhaps introduce a little humour, or at least have him feel more cheerful, and cared for.

“I had never seen you or Charlotte as happy as at the midsummer ball.  I had hoped in her early days with us you might develop an attachment as I observed Charlotte thawing towards you in her talk of you whenever you were away, and I did notice her looking at your portrait more than once.”

Sidney looks up, surprised, visibly brightening.  “Really?” he asks, “And she spoke about me?” His tone is eager; as if wanting to grasp at any small indication of Charlotte’s regard for him.

“Yes, now and then. One particular morning quite early in her stay, I discovered her staring at the portrait. It may have been a day or two after that awful pineapple luncheon with Lady Denham. I startled her. She was quite embarrassed. I asked her about her visit to the beach to collect shells the afternoon before, but she said she’d come back empty-handed. She appeared very reluctant to speak of it.  Her behaviour seemed quite peculiar.”

Sidney sniggers, and pleased with this reaction Mary asks, “What amuses you?”

“Oh, nothing.  I might know what caused her discomfort, but I can’t be certain.”

“Do tell?”

“Oh, I chanced upon her on the beach the day after the luncheon, but our conversation was somewhat prickly,” he replies evasively, “as it always was at that time.”

“Well, she certainly warmed to you later, particularly once you came to Tom with the idea for the regatta.”

“Hmm, we both made a discovery that day; we agreed we’d had each other wrong. I left for London wanting to stay here, but I’d promised Tom I’d approach the banks.”

“She compared you to anchovy paste,” Mary says, looking amused.

“Who?” he asks, with a puzzled frown.

Mary giggles a little as she clarifies, “Anchovy paste.  An acquired taste, I believe.”

“Oh, really?” Sidney actually manages another chuckle, happy in the knowledge Charlotte had been speaking so mischievously about him, even at that time in their acquaintance.

“When I returned here earlier than planned it was on the pretext I needed to see Tom” he says, serious again now, “but I’d been thinking of Charlotte the whole time I was away. I was simply drawn back, to see her. Unfortunately, that was the day Georgiana had chosen to hoodwink me, and I was scathing in my judgement of Charlotte.  I wonder she ever forgave me.”

“So it was a simple misunderstanding?” 

“We both made assumptions, but I was wrong to blame her for what occurred that day. I witnessed her imitating me for their amusement and that - added to the shock of Otis Molyneux’s presence - well, it made me feel upset and betrayed. That was when we argued heatedly in the street. Neither of us even cared there was a captive audience.” 

He pauses, preoccupied, and then continues, the ache of loss evident in his tone, “You know, I think I loved her even then Mary. Do they not say you cannot be hurt by someone you do not love? Well, had I not loved her, I wouldn’t have felt so wounded.  If only I’d advised her of my reasons for separating Georgiana from Otis Molyneux, the outcome would have been very different.”

“About that first argument, on the balcony, I am at fault here Sidney.”

“You? How so?” he asks, frowning in confusion.

“Charlotte quickly became like a sister to me.  From the first days, she listened to my complaints about Tom neglecting us – especially the children – for his obsession with Sanditon.”

Sidney gasps. “Oh God!” he exclaims, “She said as much!  I believed she was being discourteous towards you and Tom, a frivolous girl, when in fact she’d made a very astute judgement, and as I see now, supported by your discussions with her! What a bully I was!”

“But she forgave you,” she replies.

“She did! She sought my forgiveness the next day at the site!  And I was even more dismissive then! Yet she eventually forgave me that as well.”

“She understood my annoyance with Tom," Mary adds, "but rather than judging him she put her own efforts into helping him to achieve his dreams.”

Sidney nods in agreement.

“Unattainable pipe dreams really,” she continues, “he has been a man possessed.”

“And is yet!” he replies.

“Yes, and I should have stood up and supported you and Charlotte when I saw the affection between you!  Tom should have gone to London, not you Sidney.  This was his doing, his responsibility. While you did all the hard work he simply spent his days pacing the study.  He relied completely on your ability to resolve this disaster of his making,” she declares, her voice becoming angry. “We have destroyed your happiness. And Charlotte’s! I want to make it right but I do not know how. Ironically the very person whose advice I would seek is Charlotte!  But I cannot do that now.”

"Mary, this is not down to you! Already you do much to keep Tom on the correct path.”

“But Charlotte was the reason Tom even had people interested. If not for the regatta ...”

“Yes,” he responds, “you’re right, and Tom’s taken too much credit for it. But believe me, he wouldn’t have achieved anything in London. His appalling lack of business sense is well-known. His reputation ... no bank, no business, no individual investor would’ve given him the time of day. His blustering efforts to obtain finance would make him a laughing stock. Forgive my being so blunt, but unfortunately this is how people see my brother.”

“I know Sidney, I do.  I am grateful for everything you have done, but because of Tom’s mistakes you and Charlotte cannot have what you deserve. I should have stepped in. Now I cannot. I am too late.  And it pains me to know I have failed two of the people I love most dearly.”

“Mary, your family must come first. I couldn’t live with the guilt if you and the children had to suffer the rest of your lives for Tom’s mistakes, without trying to remedy the situation.”

“But when I saw what was developing between you and Charlotte, I was so glad for you.”

“Thank you. But think on it. You’re very much like her, so you’ll appreciate Charlotte wouldn’t respect me for lack of action. She understands.  She has great affection for you Mary, and the children.  She would not see you suffer.  She wants all of you safe and cared for.”

Mary tearfully shakes her head. “I am sorry Sidney. So sorry,” she says, covering his hand again.

Sidney nods. They stay that way for a moment, both looking down sadly without speaking.

Mary brings the back of her other hand up to wipe under her eyes.

“If I could just find a way ... there has to be something ...” she says desperately.

Sidney responds hastily, “Please, what’s done is done.  We must make the best of it.”

“You have my heartfelt gratitude Sidney. You deserve happiness. I hope you find it.”

Sidney squeezes her hand, looks around, and then nods at the clock.

“It’s late,” he observes.

“Yes, of course.”

They get up, Mary leaving the room as Sidney extinguishes the lights.  He then climbs the stairs slowly to his room. He stands at the window staring out at a shining moon, pondering Mary’s words about shells and portrait gazing, feeling a confusing combination of warmth, desperation and loss.

Chapter Text

While Charlotte has been away in Sanditon for the summer, the Heywoods have made changes to the children’s sleeping arrangements, and she is surprised to find that she will no longer share a room with Alison.  This pleases her greatly, as although she and her sister have happily shared for many years, she has recently become accustomed to having a room to herself, where she might read well into the night, rise early or even lie in late in the mornings without disturbing others. It is particularly welcome tonight. The past several hours have been wonderful, surrounded by her loving family so happy to have her back home, but now, she is tired of the excitement and longs for quiet, to gather her thoughts.

Her room is small, but comfortable, with a splendid view from the goodly sized window, and she moves across to it now to gaze out over the moonlit expanse of the garden and beyond.  The evening light is so bright that she can see quite clearly  across the distance to the bridge over the small stream that runs through the Heywood property. She sits down on the chair at the modest table that stands flush against the wall, beside the window, knowing she will spend many hours here from now on.

Her thoughts go of course to her situation, and in a short time she becomes restless, wishing for space to walk off her discontent. Aware that the creaking floorboards will alert others to her prowling, she refrains from pacing about the room or venturing downstairs.  At this moment she wishes she could confide her thoughts ... she takes a few sheets from her writing compendium to begin a letter she has been dallying over writing...

Susan, my dear friend,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I have wanted to write to you for the past few weeks, but have been unable to find a way to put my thoughts into words. I arrived back at my home in Willingden today, and have been much occupied relating my Sanditon adventures to my family. Their excitement has kept me from dwelling on my situation, but now as all are abed and the house is finally quiet I find myself staring out into the stillness of a moonlit night, overwhelmed by sadness.

Gone but a few hours, already I am missing so much about Sanditon. I miss Tom and Mary Parker and their beautiful children. I miss Tom’s funny brother Arthur and his kind sister Diana. I miss my other friends - Georgiana, Lord Babington and his wife, Esther.  I miss the workers and all the people of the town, visits with Lady Denham, the balls and events, the sea and the sand, the beauty of the place. And Sidney Parker.  Dearest, dearest Sidney. More than anything else, I miss Sidney.

Charlotte pauses in her writing, taking time to consider her words and how to best explain why she is no longer in Sanditon, and how heavy lies the weight on her heart.  She decides to simply allow the words to spill onto the paper as they may...

Do you recall when we first met in London; I insisted you must be mistaken, believing that I was in love with Sidney? Then at the regatta I was still all at sea about him, and you said you are never wrong about matters of the heart? I was so confused – ‘befuddled’ you said? – I could not make out my own feelings.  During the course of the day at the regatta I came to realise you were right. But with that realisation came also my conviction that Sidney was again – or still – enamoured of his past love, and I simply could not hope to belong with him. When he sought me out to apologise for any offense from Mrs Campion during that conversation in the tent, I asked him to leave me alone. I was already hurting, you see, and needed to shield my heart from further pain. You will remember as you were leaving, I had resigned myself to the outcome. 

I was in Tom’s study that night – thinking over events, glad of the regatta’s success but otherwise feeling lost and heavy of heart, when I was startled by Sidney entering the room.  I had thought him on his way to London with Mrs Campion.  To my amazement he explained he had decided against joining her, as he had realised he would rather be in Sanditon. He then said something which left me breathless – that being with me made him his truest self.

Oh Susan, I could not speak!  I could not think! I could not move! My heart was bursting, but for fear of being mistaken I was afraid to even try to imagine what his words meant for me – or what this might mean for us! I barely slept that night, thinking over those words, again and again.

Pausing once more, Charlotte leans back in the chair, remembering her walk on the cliff tops with Sidney.  She cannot help a wistful smile, recalling his attempt to make an amusingly clever comment,

          'Ah, well, we both know nothing ever happens in Willingden.’

The poor man, he was so nervous, but oh yes, how true those words! She leans forward, to continue her story...

The next morning we had the opportunity to walk the cliff tops together, and I knew I had fallen irrevocably in love with Sidney. The ball that evening began so well, I felt as I had in London when I spoke with you about Sidney, but the feeling was so much more.  There was contentment, and anticipation – I could not wait to dance with him, speak with him, share conversation and laughter. I was sure he must feel the same way, smiling whenever I caught his eye while he waited patiently for me to be free.

Finally, we met on the balcony, and when Sidney talked of his feelings, I thought my heart would melt with the joy of it. I was certain that the next words he would speak would be a proposal of marriage, and I was happy, honoured and ready to accept. By sorry chance, Sir Edward Denham chose that precise moment to burst into the assembly room, inebriated and creating a very embarrassing scene for his sister, Esther. Lady Denham asked Sidney to put Edward on the next coach to London.

The next I saw of Sidney, he was leading the fight against a fire that had broken out in the new apartments. The fire was fierce and took most of the night to bring under control.  Morning revealed the devastation. Young Mr Stringer’s father had died in the blaze and the construction had been reduced to a desolate, smouldering ruin. Naturally, my balcony conversation with Sidney was left unfinished.

Looking over the lines she has written, Charlotte must now decide whether it is fitting to disclose the Parker secret; Tom Parker’s incompetence and its terrible consequences. With barely a pause, she forges determinedly on...

I must tell you something now which I would tell no other, because you are my most treasured advisor and I trust that you will keep my confidence.

After the fire Tom Parker confessed he had neglected to insure the building work. This disaster would ruin him. The amount that he owes, £80,000 is beyond my belief or comprehension. Lady Denham, understandably upset, was threatening him with Debtor’s Prison. Sidney felt obliged to go to London seeking funds to prevent a catastrophe for Tom and Mary and their children. He approached every bank and business in search of assistance, without success. Lady Denham had allowed only one week before she would pursue the debt.

Sidney’s last resort was to enlist the help of Mrs Eliza Campion, hence he returned to Sanditon an exhausted man from the long days of searching, and to my shock and disappointment, engaged to be married to her. He was much distressed at having to tell me; he had undertaken this engagement as a last desperate measure to save his brother’s family from ruin.

Throwing down the quill and rising abruptly from her chair Charlotte begins to pace the floor, forgetting the possibility of the sounds waking others. Her heart is racing, her breaths coming as shallow gasps, as a strong feeling of worthlessness overwhelms her. All the tears she has fought to keep at bay through the afternoon’s activity, the evening meal and beyond now well up, to stream from her eyes. The pain of loss takes her stumbling back to her chair. She looks out to the silvery stillness, across to the bridge, wishing she could walk there now.  She closes her eyes, trying to shut out the pain, only to have the image of Sidney’s face – his smiling face from the midsummer ball – float  in before her.  His smile, for her, that she will never see again.

Slowly, sadly, Charlotte dips her pen and returns to the task...

Susan, I am lost. I am broken. My world is undone. I am all too aware that Sidney is under an obligation, but I struggle with this agony of separation. I do not know how I can continue to deceive my family and live my days and nights as if all is well. My life has changed – it can never be what it was before I fell in love with Sidney.

We spoke briefly at the Babington wedding, and I saw that he was as despondent as I. Mrs Campion quickly drew him away, and it broke my heart to see him so sad.  I had come to see a spark in Sidney, lightness that I had not seen when we were first acquainted. It now troubles me greatly that his spark has gone.

So many memories invade my mind; our disagreements and misunderstandings in the early days of our acquaintance, then the enjoyment of playing together with his nieces and nephew, the delight of joining his team in the annual cricket match when together we scored the winning runs. Oh how we argued while we searched London for Georgiana, but through all the difficulties we came to realise that we worked well together under duress, and with that realisation came a new understanding. And then there was that dance. You were right, Susan, I was in love with him.

This morning when the Parker carriage was already out of Sanditon, bringing me to Willingden, Sidney rode out to intercept us, to bid me goodbye. He told me he does not love Mrs Campion. He will be a good husband to her, I know that. This is Tom’s liability, but Sidney will do whatever he must to see that Mary and the children do not suffer.  He is a man of honour and kindness, with an abiding love for his family. I know of further kind deeds he has undertaken for others, and this is the man I have fallen in love with – I would have him no other way. But after finally finding this love the absurdity now is that I cannot have him at all. Fate has dealt us a savage blow.

I beg your forgiveness for unburdening myself so heavily upon you, but I value your counsel, and if you can suggest something I might do that could help me maintain some semblance of happiness without Sidney I will be grateful. 

At this moment I cannot settle. Tears flow freely as I write. As you know from our conversation in London, it was not always an easy path for Sidney and me, but the difficult times simply faded away with the discovery of our deep admiration for one another. I must now accept that this was but a fleeting joy.  I can at least always cherish the memory of that wonderful evening at the London ball, where Sidney’s gaze held me spellbound, and we danced as if we alone had the floor. I wanted to dance with him forever. 

The joy and affection I shared with Sidney was all too brief, but it was true. Perhaps in time this pain will begin to subside, perhaps not, but for just this night I simply wish to allow these tears to fall, and to own this love.

Thank you for indulging me, my wonderful friend. I will endeavour with my next letter to give you a happier version of Charlotte Heywood. Better still, perhaps I might someday find a way to visit you in London.

I miss you.

With much affection,

Charlotte

Now, it is done. Her vision still blurred, Charlotte stares down unseeingly at her own words.  Not knowing how Susan will receive her sad news, she knows she must send it in any case. Slowly she goes through the motions of addressing and sealing the letter, ready for posting tomorrow. Taking a final look out the window she thinks for a moment of how things must be for Sidney, and wonders if he is sleeping now at Trafalgar House, or perhaps has returned to the obligations of his life in London.  Either way, it is no longer her concern.

“Goodnight dearest Sidney,” she whispers, "goodnight, and goodbye.”

Chapter Text

Sometime close to midnight, Sidney is dressed for bed but is wide awake. Having turned out the lamps he is relying for light on that filtering into his room from the waxing moon in a near-cloudless sky. He stands at the window again, looking out into the tranquility of light and shadow, wondering if Charlotte will find it easy to settle back into her old life on her return to Willingden.  What is she doing now?  She should be sleeping. Is she restless? Is she looking out at this same moon? Would it be too much to hope for, that she would be thinking kindly of him?  Of course she would not.  He does not deserve her compassion; it is selfish to even wish for it.

His thoughts are interrupted as he becomes aware of faint whimpering noises from Henry’s room. He quickly relights a candle and hurries in, to find Henry sitting up crying, holding fast to his toy bear. Sidney kneels beside the bed, reaching for his little hands.

“Henry! What’s wrong?” he asks.

Henry sobs, “Charlotte is g-g-gone.”

“Yes, she has,” he replies.

“B-but why?”

“Well, she had to go back home to her family,” Sidney explains softly.

“But this is her home,” Henry insists, on a hiccough, “We are her f-f-fam-ah-ly!”

Sidney moves to sit on the bed, leans back against the headboard and reaches for him. “Come Henry.  I’ll stay with you until you can go back to sleep.”

“I do not w-want to go to sleep. I am too s-s-ad!”

“Yes, I know, I’m sad too.  Sh-h ...”

“I want Charlotte,” Henry demands in a petulant tone.

“Yes.  Of course you do,” Sidney says soothingly, “We all want Charlotte. But her family in Willingden will have been missing her.”

“But now I am m-m-missing her,” Henry becomes dramatic, “There is no justice Unca S-Sidney.”

He is sobbing again now. “She m-must come b-back. Can you g-get her? I want her back here!”

Sidney tries to soothe him, explaining softly, “Henry, if I could bring her back I would do so. But her visit with us in Sanditon is done, and it was time for her to leave.”

“That is not f-fair! I miss her-r!”

“Yes. I miss her too.  Hush now Henry.  We don't want to wake everyone else. But, do you know, I believe Charlotte would not care to know you’ve been crying. That would make her sad too, and we don’t want that, do we hmm?”

Henry responds reluctantly in a very soft voice, “No.”

Sidney uses the wide sleeve of his banyan to wipe the tears from Henry’s face, as he says quietly, “Here, sit back against me and I’ll stay with you for a while.”

Henry snuggles against his uncle, one little hand on his chest, sometimes sniffing and with his body shuddering as he tries to calm himself. 

A maid arrives at the door. Sidney holds his hand up to signal all is well and nods to let her know he will ensure that Henry settles. The maid waves her thanks, bobs her head and leaves the room. 

Eventually Henry’s eyelids become heavy and he falls into a deep sleep, while his uncle continues to hold him close, thinking with guilt of the words he has just used to reassure the boy, when he has in fact been the cause of Charlotte’s retreat from the sadness that is Sanditon.  Sidney waits for several minutes before gently placing Henry under the bed covers, then quietly leaves the room.

Padding barefooted along the corridor Sidney becomes aware of noises from the direction of the study. Although muffled behind the closed heavy door, it is obvious that voices are raised in heated argument.  He pauses, knowing without doubt what this quarrel is about.  Mary is speaking at length with an occasional attempt at interruption from Tom, but their words are too indistinct to make out.  Sidney’s mouth twitches as he wishes her success in getting through to this blockhead she is married to.

Sidney knows Tom needs to own up to his blunders, and if Mary cannot make him see the error of his ways then it is pointless for anyone else to attempt it. Divine intervention might be of assistance, he thinks with a hint of sarcasm.  He feels a stab of guilt that his conversation with her this evening has led to this altercation, but Tom has abused others’ generosity for far too long. It is time.

Leaving the quarrel behind, Sidney returns to his own room, snuffs the candle and slowly sits down onto the bed. He stares ahead, thinking of Henry’s sadness, and the effect Charlotte’s departure has had on the whole family.  He smiles just a little at Henry’s quoting of his own words - ‘there is no justice’ - words used playfully at the regatta as he  lifted Henry to discuss whether the children’s efforts to win the sandcastle competition might bear fruit, with Charlotte sitting in the sand and Eliza standing aside looking down haughtily upon her as if in judgement. 

That was the day he had felt a shift away from the confusion of the previous week; the day he had found himself making comparisons between the wealthy, self-assured lady of the beau monde and the capable gentleman farmer’s daughter who won hearts young and old with her captivating smile, her courage and her gentle acceptance of others, no matter their station.  As he had told his brothers, happiness – or the impossible - was within his grasp, but while he described it as a strange feeling, it was in fact better explained as confusion; happiness with whom? ... Eliza or Charlotte? His reluctance to agree with Tom was because he had suddenly found himself not wanting to commit to the woman he had believed for so long held the key to his happiness.  That conversation with Tom and Arthur’s comment questioning her trustworthiness had forced him to reflect. Once he began to consciously take the time to observe, he was actually struck by how different these two women were.

There was Eliza, strikingly fair and beautiful to the eye, all feathers and silk; elegant, self-assured, surrounded by her fawning entourage, enjoying her power, ever in control... and there was Charlotte, also striking in her beauty, but in that very beauty portraying something more; a sunny disposition, genuinely welcoming, open and caring, engaging without pretentiousness, innocently allowing him to see into her soul.

So, there they were for the mulling over, characteristics he would be choosing between if looking for an attachment:  haughtiness and humility ... condescension and compassion ... sarcasm and sympathy ... by day’s end, there had been no contest. He could only give his heart to the lovely young farmer’s daughter, reader of books.  Indeed, he realised, he had already done so.

There had not been a particular moment of epiphany, but her plea that he leave her alone had brought him up short, and upon reflection the uncertainties he had been struggling with had been resolved. In fact, he had never been more convinced of what was right than when making his ‘truest self’ declaration to Charlotte. His lips curl slightly at the now fond memory of her stunned reaction, and of his flight from the room, attempting to appear self-assured but in fact fearful that his hopes of impressing her might have been dashed by his earlier behaviour during the day.

Looking back with clarity now, he struggles to understand why he had been so bewildered in the week following the London ball.  He supposes it must be that he had never been given an explanation for Eliza’s desertion, so had always blamed himself.  All those years he had wasted, believing her most worthy and himself pitifully undeserving, closing off his heart and mind from seeking an attachment with another. Now he is wishing he had never laid eyes on her at the London ball. Yet, here he is, engaged to be married to her. Where is the justice in this?

          ‘There is no justice’ ... Oh, the irony! His hint of a smile has faded. He rubs at his chest, trying to push the pain away.  Will it ever ease, or is he doomed to endure it for all time, punishment for what he now sees as a terrible but irreversible mistake? All the hopes and dreams he had finally allowed himself to indulge in, this wondrous love he had found, this lovely young woman who had accepted him with all his imperfections, they are his no longer; swept away by a cruel twist of fate before he could truly seek a lasting claim, gone from his reach because of his obligation to save an irresponsible, impetuous brother and his innocent family. Could he have done more? Could he have avoided this wretched situation? As he contemplates the loss of all that was wonderful and new, the inevitable enduring heartache of a life without this love threatens to utterly crush his already bruised and bleeding soul.

Sidney closes his eyes and puts his face in his hands. Finally, in the privacy of his room he can release the emotion he has fought so hard to keep buried, through what has been the longest day of his life. Surely now he is allowed to weep for the loss of what should have been. Silently, he begins to cry.  

After some time, he raises his head. His face and hands are wet.

“Charlotte,” he whispers.

Sighing, he draws an arm up, wiping under his eyes with the back of his wrist. His shoulders slump as his hands then drop onto his lap. Tears continue to trickle down his cheeks as he struggles to deal with the memory of Charlotte’s departure, knowing only too well that her desperate sadness is all his doing.

It is almost fully dark now. A breeze has sprung up and the wisps of cloud have thickened, and begun a swirling dance across the moon. The light in the room has dimmed, objects in the space now in shadow. It fits well with his mood. 

“Charlotte”, he whispers again, “my dearest Charlotte. I am so sorry.”

He stares into the dark. Tears flow, unrestrained.

Chapter Text

It is very early morning, not yet sunrise but dawn is creeping in. A chill is in the air; this is typical early morning weather in Willingden for the last weeks of summer, as if autumn is eager to find its way in. Charlotte has expected this and is dressed accordingly. She cannot help but think that if still in Sanditon she might be heading for the beach in an hour or so, to take a walk, or even indulge in a swim, gales permitting. She imagines that for a few weeks yet it will be quite different from here, where a light mist is already rolling in.

Unfortunately, the night has not been kind. Sleep has come but in fits and starts, and there is weariness in her step as she takes a walk around the perimeter to reacquaint herself with happenings at the Heywood estate. There is quite the lump in her chest and she swallows often, as tears threaten. Her throat aches with it. She is glad of the chance to be alone, before the family routine of noisy chatter and bustling activity takes control of her day. She must prepare herself; get ready for what she knows will be another onslaught of excited questions and of course, inquisitive looks if she is unable to mask her pain.

Trying to distract herself away from openly bursting into sobs, she forces her thoughts to practical things. She must try. There is no good to come from dwelling on the hurt of what she cannot change. If only Sidney could have done differently ... in her heart she knows he would have considered every possible alternative before settling for this, but there was nothing. 

As the futility of her situation strikes hard yet again the tears well up and, frustrated with herself she swipes an arm across her face. With a brief surge of anger she finds herself wishing she could swipe at Tom Parker’s face instead, to smite him for what he has done. Guilt for that thought rushes in and she holds her breath to calm herself, to try to think better of the man who has caused so much pain for others, and to somehow think better of herself. With an effort she draws her body up to walk taller.

“Courage, Charlotte,” she says softly, “Be strong. Be brave.”

She thinks of the long letter she has already placed on the hall table for posting today, and hopes that Susan will not think her a fool. She reminds herself of Sidney’s words at the masked ball...

          ‘Don’t doubt yourself. You are more than equal...’

Charlotte inhales deeply. She must try to honour his opinion of her. In spite of her wishing him a whispered goodbye last night, she is struggling to put yesterday’s parting behind her, thinking if only she could gather all the memories together, good and bad, and simply pack them into a box and hurl it out to sea she would perhaps rid herself of this heavy sadness. She chides herself for being overly dramatic, and even uses Sidney’s own words to try to find some sense of purpose without him...

          ‘You must put him from your mind, or you’ll go mad.’

Somehow it is not that simple. Does this really mean she should not hold any of these memories dear? Can she not at least keep the best of them close? Must she completely wipe him from her mind – and her heart – erase him altogether? And what if she did go mad? Would it not mean she could live in a fantasy world where she could imagine Sidney to be always by her side? Or would fate be cruel enough to condemn her forever, always sufficiently conscious of what she cannot have and thus lost in a world of misery?

Her eyes well up again and she brushes away the warm tears that spill onto her cold cheeks, feeling the astringent chill of the morning air biting in and playing with the trace of moisture still left on her face.  She thinks again of Sidney’s farewell and wonders how he is coping now. For his sake she hopes he can bear this anguish better than she. This is a bodily pain. She is hurting all over, with the sting especially sharp behind her rib cage. She understands now why such loss is called ‘heartache’.

Mr. Heywood comes upon her, and falls into step beside her. She is glad of the interruption, as it will distract her from her tears and help to drag her thinking to where she knows it must go. They talk in general terms about life on the farm, and her time away in Sanditon. Her father finds himself a little worried. He cannot quite put his finger on it, but knowing his eldest daughter well he has noticed that something is different, but it is not a good thing; there is a certain detachment about her that he has been aware of since the moment she stepped down from the carriage yesterday, a lack of enthusiasm in the face of the family’s excitement over her return. Added to that, the shuffling sounds he has heard from her room during the night persuade him she must have slept poorly.  Something distracts her. He is sure that she is troubled, despondent even, trying to hide some sort of melancholy.

Charlotte is of course being careful to hide how she is feeling, unaware that she is failing, at least with her Papa. Mr Heywood asks her if anything was not to her liking while in Sanditon.

“No not at all, everything went very well, Papa. It’s been wonderful, the adventure of a lifetime.”

She gives a short, self-conscious laugh, before looking off vaguely into the distance. He senses that somehow in this instant she has slipped away to another place, where perhaps no-one else is allowed to follow. 

Her father looks quizzically at her, choosing to remain silent.  She has not once looked at him during their walk, and he is certain this is deliberate, to hide her distress from him. He is convinced now that something is not right, so will not question further, but will wait for her to find the right time to talk about whatever it is that disturbs her. This is Charlotte, after all. Sooner or later she will open up.

Chapter Text

At first light, Sidney hastily hurls belongings into a bag.  He has to go.  He cannot bear to be in this house, now that Charlotte has gone. He is agitated, and struggling to distinguish between reality and what he longs for; he wavers confusedly between knowing she is far away and expecting to collide with her in the house at any moment. It was not quite so difficult when he stayed in London, what with business matters and Eliza demanding his attention, but he now regrets rushing back to Sanditon, as he is seeing Charlotte everywhere and the proper parting he had planned did not go as he had hoped. Not that he can truly define what that hope might be, apart from having wished to offer her some final words of apology and comfort. He has made a decision and much as he might wish it otherwise he cannot change it.

Sidney thinks that if Charlotte had asked, he might well have abandoned his agreement to marry Eliza. He is grateful for the family’s sake that Charlotte had been so considerate and accepting, but is also disappointed, as part of him had been ready to order the carriage back to Trafalgar House, send a letter of cancellation to Eliza and tell his brother to solve his own financial debacle, had she but said the word.  Instead she had done the ‘right thing’ – as he knew she would – even to the point of halting him in his declaration, and admonishing him for voicing his apathetic thoughts regarding Eliza.  She had responded exactly as he had known she would. So now he needs to get away, and stop wishing for the impossible.

Having not slept well Sidney is seething with anger and frustration. He hopes to steer clear of Tom; he is filled with resentment and is tired of his brother’s incessant babble and misplaced beliefs.  He wants to avoid a conversation with him at all costs, as he is certain it will only disintegrate into an argument and he will end up shouting at him, as Mary obviously did last night. Closing his bag, he picks it up and heads resolutely from his room towards the stairs.

As he strides past Charlotte’s room he glances across, slows down, and then stops. The door is open. Something draws him forward; he looks in, then puts his bag down at the doorway, enters the room slowly and glances around. Walking to the window, he looks out across the view of rooftops, to a small glimpse of the sea between. He imagines Charlotte would have stood taking in this view many times during the past several months. 

Turning, he notices a piece of paper in the otherwise empty fire grate; it is screwed into a tight ball.  Out of curiosity, he picks it out of the grate and, interested as to its contents, opens it out carefully to avoid tearing or damaging it. With luck it might distract him from his current misery and irritation. He looks to the writing and recognises it as Charlotte’s.

          Dearest Sister,

          It has been a week since Sidney left for London in his attempt to save Sanditon.

With a sudden lurch in his gut Sidney realises this is an unfinished letter from Charlotte to her sister Alison, likely written at about the time he returned from that fateful mission in London. He should not go on, but he cannot resist. His heart pounds and blood rushes to his temples as with trembling hands he grips the paper and continues to read...

          There is nothing but trepidation in the Parker family. Tom in particular has been consumed with worry as he awaits news.

Some crumpling of the paper at this point has caused the writing to smudge, making it difficult to read, but Sidney presses on regardless, determined to make out Charlotte’s words...

          Oh Alison .... my future too could rest on Sidney’s swift return..... it may be that very soon I will have the most exciting news to share.   

Sidney stares at the words on the paper.  He cannot focus.  The phrases begin to jumble together and bounce before his eyes.

In a sudden rush, shock hits him as a razor-sharp pain – searing, agonising, piercing violently through his body; he reels back, physically propelled by some mysterious, frightening force, teetering, stumbling till his knees crash into the side of the bed frame. Falling awkwardly onto his backside to sit on the mattress, he slams the paper against his heaving chest and holds it there hard with both hands. His eyes are wild, tormented by flashing spikes of piercing light and although he badly needs air he must fight for breath, his throat closed off in terror, his mouth wide open in a silent scream.

His body is rigid, stiff as a tightly wound bow, till it seems his nerves must explode and snap his spine apart in all directions. His eyes well up and spill over, the tears streaming down his cheeks, slowed but a little by the stubble there till fat drops splash from his chin onto where his hands still clasp the letter, fanning into rivulets through his fingers and over the backs of his wrists to disappear into his sleeves, rapidly saturating the cuffs.

This pain attacking his body is burning, excruciating. His head crushing in some vise-like grip, he is devoid of conscious thought, with but a vague sense that his mind has cut loose and  reached into his chest, taking hold of his heart; squeezing, squeezing, talons clawing at it, tearing it away, ripping it from his body with his ragged, tattered soul splitting off to follow, sucked into its slipstream. 

Fear ... Loss ... Dread.  

And the worst of it all is that he has done this to himself. 

Slowly, slowly, his breathing begins to settle ... dragging air in with long gasps, he takes several minutes to push against the fear, and gain some sort of composure. He struggles to still his trembling extremities. His head is pounding and his body is still taut with the pain. Time passes; perhaps minutes, perhaps hours, he has no idea how long he has sat; it is of no consequence. Stunned, bewildered, his mind in a haze, he looks down to the bed cover and distractedly draws a shaking hand in an arc across it, slow but regular in tempo, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth; he is confused, tired, lacking purpose ... thinking of nothing. 

Eventually he begins to indulge in self talk – of his sincere regret for causing so much pain and sorrow to Charlotte. He thinks back to his own despair when the similar thing happened to him at Eliza’s hands, and assesses his own worth in view of his terrible decision and subsequent actions. 

This is no better than was done to him. The victim of Eliza Campion’s mercenary actions ten years ago, he has now visited this same unbearable pain onto the only woman he will ever truly love. He deserves nothing good. He has sold himself to the very one who spurned him years ago – his honour and dignity surrendered once again, burned to ashes, his soul as charred as the shell of Tom’s ruined buildings, sacrificed on the altar of his brother’s narcissistic greed. He berates himself for his selfishness; he has no right to this misery, Charlotte is the victim here.  

And what does this make him?

Contemptible ... Mrs Campion’s coward ... Mrs Campion’s cur.

He sits for a long while, in dark mood. He shivers. He feels numb with cold, yet burning hot, and cannot understand the contradiction of it.  Weary to the bone, aware only of an aching heaviness, his body, his limbs are leaden.  If not for the painfully erratic thump of his heart he might wonder if he is dead. His once tall, strong frame is bent, hunched, shrunken.

He is empty.  He is exhausted.  He is spent.

After some time – he knows not how long – he brings his weary arms forward, and against his thigh he attempts very gently to flatten the crumpled letter out further, trying to concentrate with trembling hands on the simple task of folding it.  It must be precise, with corners matching. Satisfied at last with his effort, he then does the same again, folding it small enough to be able to hide it on his person.

He fumbles at his waistcoat’s inner pocket, finally placing the precious paper there. He will keep it close; it is all he has of her. His fingers linger at the pocket, still touching the folded edge of the letter as his eyes close and tears slide down the tracks on his cheeks once more.  He snivels his way through a jerky, drawn out sigh.

Opening his eyes he looks vacantly to the top of the dressing table. Caught in a small shaft of sunlight through the window, something glinting there catches his eye.  He recognises it – the jewellery Charlotte wore round her neck at the midsummer ball sits on a small glass tray.

Sidney gets unsteadily to his feet, wincing at the objection from his joints. He shuffles across, picks up the pendant and lays it in the palm of one hand, staring at it.  He runs his fingers along the ribbon, and as soot comes away on his skin he is almost puzzled by it, although he knows he should not be surprised, as he remembers all too well Charlotte’s fearless contribution in fighting the fire.  He takes a deep breath which brings pain again to his chest, and then lets out a long unsteady sigh, looking soulfully down at the pendant. Squeezing it firmly in his hand and thinking back to the ball, he lifts his head and shuts his eyes tightly, turning away from the dressing table as he does so.

When he opens his eyes again Sidney is looking across to a drying-rail beyond the fireplace, next to the wardrobe. Shock hits him anew – Charlotte’s silvery blue dress from the ball hangs there, splattered with mud and ingrained with soot from her efforts to fight the fire. He is astonished to see that it has not been cleaned. Then again, perhaps there was no point, the stains would have dried and been difficult to remove. Perhaps there was another reason, but he supposes he will never know. It doesn’t matter now. 

Hanging a little crooked on the rail there is something heart-rending about the soiled dress; a strange, bizarre kind of loneliness that reaches out to him, as if seeking to enfold him, and he wonders how he is meant to cope with this crushing, overwhelming sadness.

With eyes welling again, he shakes his head a little and, blinking rapidly against the tears he turns to replace the pendant onto the tray.  He then walks to the dress, where he gently, reverently touches the skirt, tracing his fingers lightly over one of the stains. He lifts the dress from the rail, holds it up and stands looking at it, as an uninvited profusion of memories rushes in – her arrival with Mary at the ball, gracing him with her smile as if it is for him alone... her eyes seeking him out while he waits patiently through her dances with Stringer... welcoming her onto the balcony and nervously beginning his marriage proposal, her eyes shining up at him as if she is ready to accept.

His heart warms as he finds reason to smile. It is short-lived, however, as his anger flares at the recollection of Edward Denham’s interruption. For a split second he feels a blazing hatred for this man, but it is swiftly crowded out by a new memory, of passing Charlotte as he runs with the water cart, seeing her leading the men and calling on them to form a line – he feels pride swell in his chest, pride in her – but within an instant he thinks of his loss, and his expression changes again, now sad and serious.

With a jolt, he notices a jagged tear in the skirt, and thinks of the irony of it - the torn skirt somehow symbolising his torn heart. He hugs the dress to him, then buries his face into it and breathes in heavily, making strange, rasping sobbing sounds.  He does not want to let go, but he knows he must. His heart is not ready, nor will it ever be.  Yet – somehow – he must find the strength to accept this half-life, endure this emptiness, to honour Charlotte’s sacrifice and his bargain with Eliza. 

Little by little, his sobbing subsides.  Eventually he holds the dress away again, looking forlornly at it, realising he has stained it further with his tears. He cannot feel sorry for that, surely his tears belong.

He has not yet moved when Mary, walking past, notices Sidney’s bag and glances up through the doorway to see him holding the dress. She stops in shock, then hurries into the room.

“Sidney, what are you doing?”

Startled, he appears a little embarrassed, clutches the dress possessively against him for just a moment and then holds it away again, displaying it over his hands to Mary. He shrugs.   

“Just ... ah ... reminiscing,” he says.  He tries to appear nonchalant, but fails miserably, his voice scratchy and quavering. 

Feeling much sympathy for him, Mary smiles hesitantly, comes further into the room and stands beside him, touching his arm lightly to draw his attention, but he looks away.

“Her pendant?” he asks, nodding towards the dressing table.

“Yes.  I do not know if she meant to take it with her.” 

“And ... the dress?”

“Oh ... yes ... I will have it cleaned now of course,” she replies. But I don’t know quite what I will do with it after that. Charlotte refused to have it cleaned, or take it home. She does not want it.”

She hesitates as Sidney remains silent, and then drops her voice. “She said she cannot wear it, not ever again.”

“No,” he says softly.

Mary watches him as he then nods, as if in agreement. “Understandable,” he says. He looks back down at the dress and studies the spoiling again. “It’s ruined,” he says quietly, “like so much else.”

“Sidney. I am sorry. Are you alright?”

Sidney looks directly at her for a moment, then opens his mouth as if to speak, but instead shakes his head and drops his gaze to the floor. There is no point in further discussion. What good would it do? He shrugs again, takes the dress back to the rail, lingers a little over hanging it up, and steels himself to behave as normal before letting go. He glances back at her, grunts, and clears his throat.

“I really must be off. Long way to go. I’ll take my horse, and send this,” he says, indicating his bag, “on the coach.”

He hugs her briefly – he is all ‘business as usual’ now.

“Are the children at breakfast?”

“Yes,” she replies, “Tom has already gone to the site, but the children are breaking fast now. Come down and eat something before you go.”

Sidney realises she is letting him know that he need not be concerned he will encounter Tom at the breakfast table. Although grateful for this he wants only to leave Sanditon without delay.

“Thank you, but no, I’ve no appetite just now, and I wish to be underway as soon as possible. But I’ll say goodbye to the children. I might catch up with Tom at the building site on my way out for London.’’

He has no intention of seeking Tom out, but there is no need to tell her that; she is angry enough with her husband already. No doubt he will see him at the site, and will just have to try to keep the conversation short – never an easy task with Tom. He affords Mary a quick smile, goes to the door and picks up his bag.

“Oh, I must tell you,” he says turning towards her, “Henry was very restless in the night. He wanted me to go to Willingden to fetch Charlotte back here. He insisted this is her home, and we’re her family. I wasn’t sure how to answer that, so I didn’t try.” 

He nods, turns away with his bag and, trying to ignore the aching in his limbs heads hurriedly downstairs.

Mary stands watching his back as he departs.  She knows. Her beloved brother-in-law is broken. He will live this misery but pretend all is well, for Tom, for her, and for their children. Whether wise or not, Sidney has made a decision and, honourable man that he is, there is no going back. He has drawn down the shutters. 

Clenching her fingers, she brings a fisted hand up to her mouth, and chokes on a sob as her vision becomes blurred with tears.

Chapter Text

Tom is jabbering at Stringer with his empty promises and pointless dreams about the rebuild. With most of the men returned to the site, the cleanup work is already moving forward apace and fresh plans have been drawn up for work to begin on the new apartments within the next few weeks. Everything has been organised with Sidney’s insistence on prompt payment of wages and improvements in working conditions.

As Stringer has mentioned to Fred, personal relationships aside he is grateful for Sidney’s participation and now prefers to collaborate with him, regarding him much more highly than Tom for managing the project. At this point no one is aware that Sidney has met the most pressing of Tom’s outstanding debts from his own income and he intends to continue this way for now, still firm in not telling Tom anything more than he needs to know, and not wanting to be beholden to Eliza until it becomes unavoidable, as he knows it will eventually.  

Sidney approaches the build site. He is tired, so tired, feeling utterly drained after this morning’s ordeal of panic and confusion but he wants to inspect the site, assess progress and confirm that things are now going well for the workers. He pushes his unsteady feet forward, determined to hide his exhaustion. As he arrives he sees Tom spouting forth with his usual gibberish, waving his arms excitedly while several men stand around paying little, if any attention.

Stringer spins away towards Sidney, shaking his head at this meaningless talk, and the men turn as one, as a flock of birds might turn, perfectly synchronised to go back to their work. Tom wanders along after them, still talking, but now embarrassed by their indifference he drops his hands to his sides, his body awkward as he realises he has lost his audience.

After some short discussion with Mr. Stringer, Sidney arranges to visit again in a few weeks’ time.  He moves away from the men for a brief leave-taking with Tom, who immediately attempts to draw him into a discussion of some new ideas he has for the project. Sidney wastes no time in cutting him off, telling him he must get on to London. Tom then comments on how happy Sidney will be to get back to Eliza but he ignores that, knowing that Mary would have tried last night to make it clear just how little Sidney actually feels for Eliza, and realising her attempt has been in vain. Interrupting him with an abrupt “Goodbye Tom,” he takes his horse’s reins and turns to leave. 

When Tom calls after him to make sure to remember them all to Eliza, Sidney’s resentment flares. He does not respond but simply walks on, wondering why he must be the one to put out Tom’s every fire. Why must the second brother make amends for the older one’s folly? Never has he felt so ill-treated. Tom has not once offered thanks for the time he is spending on clearing this enormous debt and none of these workers has an inkling of his sacrifice, his pain, or his commitment to their livelihood. If only he could simply walk away ... but then, there is Mary, and there are the children...

*  *  *

The visit with Georgiana goes not as Sidney would like, but much as he has expected. Contrary to her softer soul-searching thoughts of yesterday Georgiana is no longer in sympathetic mood, realising Sidney is leaving for London and so believing he is only visiting her for his own ease of conscience. She feels convinced again that he is still the man who has made promises to do better as her guardian with no intention of making such promises reality. Sidney’s hopes for a pleasant and productive discussion are immediately dashed by her response to his opening greeting.

“How are you today Georgiana?” he asks, smiling.

“Why do you ask?  It’s not as if you care,” she responds as if eager to argue.

“I think you know that’s not true,” he says, his smile dropping, “I promised you I would do whatever I can to make amends for my poor guardianship. But I think we both know that it will take effort from both of us if we are to find some common ground. To ignore that will lead us back to mistrust and disagreements.”

“Perhaps that is all we can expect. Your betrothed no doubt hates the sight of me.”

“I’m sure that if Mrs. Campion sees us both happy with our arrangements,” he says sympathetically, “you will not have anything to be concerned about.”

“Humph.”

“Is there anything you need, anything you’d like help with at this point?” he enquires, ignoring her impolite response.

“You can go to London and forget you have a ward. That would be the most helpful thing.”

Sidney looks at her long and hard.  “You’re determined to make this difficult then?” he asks.

“Why should I trust you to have changed in any way, when you have driven my only friend far away, without a care for what you have done to her?” she snaps back accusingly.

After a pause, he replies quietly, “I cannot give you details Georgiana, but I can tell you this. The situation was something I had no control over when Charlotte left for Willingden. It causes me distress too. You’re not the only one who has lost someone dear to you.”

“That is easily said Sidney. Why should you be distressed? You have the wealthy widow to fawn over. Surely you should be going now, she will be wondering what has happened to you.”

“Hmm, yes it is time to return,” he says without conviction, “there are business matters requiring my attention. Are you happy to remain here then? I know it’s difficult now that Charlotte’s gone. Would you like to come to London? I could speak with Eliza ...”

“NO! I have no wish to spend any time with that insufferable woman! She was offensive and rude to Charlotte and I will not abide such from her. I have no doubt she would not want me in her presence anyway. I would be as an irritating stone in her shoe.”

“Georgiana!  Now who is being offensive and rude?” he says, exasperated.

Georgiana turns away, fidgeting with trinkets on her dressing table. She has no wish to incur his wrath but feels she must speak her mind.

“Just go to her Sidney," she replies, "but know this, one day you will realise what a grave mistake you are making. I only hope it will not be too late. You need to know what it has cost –”

He interrupts, stating clearly, “I already know.”

Georgiana turns sharply and looks at him in surprise.

Sidney continues, his voice now subdued, his expression melancholy, “And I would change things without a second thought, if it was within my power to do so. Believe me Georgiana, I know exactly what this has cost. More than you could ever imagine.”

Georgiana is taken aback by his reply and, there it is again, that same deep sadness in his expression that she observed just yesterday. As quickly as she notices it there, it is gone. He lifts his shoulders, as he changes the subject and tells her curtly to write to him if she needs anything, as he will not be returning to Sanditon for several weeks. From the sudden stiffness in his posture she realises that the discussion is closed. As he departs, she cannot help but think there is something causing him considerable distress. His admission has startled her and she ponders the change in his demeanour during the conversation.

He had been conciliatory while she railed against him on his arrival, then appeared sad when he surprisingly spoke softly of knowing loss, but confused her further by taking an abrupt stance as he left. She considers it strange that he does not seem eager to return to his betrothed, almost as if he does not care that Mrs. Campion will be waiting to see him, and is only concerned about his business affairs. For the first time since his engagement, she wonders if all is not as she has assumed, between him and his betrothed.

*  *  *

Sidney has made good time, even though he is no longer in any hurry to reach London, having accomplished his aim of leaving Sanditon behind. He approaches a narrow junction off to the left, with a sign leading to Willingden. He is somewhat intrigued; he has never noticed this sign in all the time he has travelled between London and Sanditon, yet it is hard to miss today, almost shining at him like a beacon, drawing him in, inviting him to stay, if only for a while. He hesitates, and then on a whim he urges his horse up a little way, stopping to look out over the hills and valleys. He is captivated by the beauty of the prospect before him.

Thinking of Charlotte, he stays for several minutes, appreciating the serenity and wishing he could take the time to linger much longer; perhaps it might ease his exhaustion and restore his spirit, soothe his troubled soul. He breathes in deeply to take in this peaceful aspect of where Charlotte has grown up. No wonder she has such a love for life. He is envious, wanting ... if only he could share ... he feels the pull ... but is well aware it would not be wise to go farther, much as he wants to see her. Just a glimpse would be enough. But of course, he knows it would not.

"Fool," he whispers.

Sighing, he turns his horse again to resume the ride for London.

Chapter Text

Sidney has not visited Eliza, unable to bear the thought that she will set a wedding date and insist on dragging him about London again to all the society events that he despises. He has already seen enough of these in the past few weeks to last him a lifetime. This morning, he is still very sore and weary and is feeling ashamed, viewing the episode in Charlotte’s bedroom yesterday as punishment for his terrible treatment of her. Believing she must surely loathe him, he wants desperately to make amends, wishing he could write to her, to confess his sincere regret and beg her forgiveness. 

At war with himself since stopping near Willingden yesterday, he is torn between accepting his lot and trying to find a way out of this engagement, but even knowing that this is a ridiculous dream he still longs to tell Charlotte of his shame for the pain he has caused. 

Irritable after another restless night and simply feeling exhausted with it all, Sidney reads through Eliza’s missive that he had chosen to leave unopened on his return last evening.  Its content aggravates him further and instead of obeying her demand to visit he makes his way to the gentlemen’s club, unashamedly advising staff on his way out that if Mrs. Campion should call, they must tell her they do not know of his current whereabouts. He smirks at the wickedness of it, but is eager to get to the club, having decided it might be an ideal place to try to attract investors.

Once at the club, he strikes up a conversation with several gentlemen, making a determined effort to convince them of the benefits of investment in Sanditon. However, although they promise to consider, remarking that it seems a worthwhile project, he is left with a sense of failure as they depart. Thinking despondently over their conversation, Sidney wonders how he can make such a discussion more productive next time. He is determined to continue with efforts to find alternative funds. He suspects it is futile, but uppermost in his mind are the memories of Charlotte’s shock and despair when he had to confess to her his engagement to Mrs. Campion, her stoic acceptance of the situation at the Babington wedding and most heartbreaking of all, her undeniable sorrow at their parting on the cliff road. He cannot bear to do nothing, so his sore heart urges him on.

His conscience is troubled, however, as he is determined to avoid inviting family and close friends to invest in what he fears may yet be a failure.  Does this make him a dishonest negotiator if he is prepared to take money from those not close to him? If he can convince a large number of investors to contribute smaller amounts, surely that would be acceptable, as he would not then be asking a few people to risk a great deal? He curses Tom for both his reckless misuse of funds that were not his to squander and his belief that somehow Sidney is responsible for fixing his mess.

Caught up in his thoughts, Sidney is unaware of someone approaching, until a hand firmly taps his shoulder, and the booming voice of Crowe startles him out of his cogitation.  

“Parker!”

“Crowe,’ Sidney replies, surprised, “Well met!”

Crowe takes a seat opposite at the table.

“You’re let off the leash for this morning then?” he asks with a snigger.

“Is that the best you can come up with to amuse me Crowe?” Sidney responds with a weary smirk.

“Well you’ve been somewhat conspicuous by your absence lately. As a matter of fact, I’ve been wondering what took you back to Sanditon.  I called at Bedford Place and was told you’d gone to that boring little sea side place on urgent business. But here you are, after all.”

“It was a short trip.  I’m done there now. I returned yesterday.”

“So you should be content then. Yet you don’t appear so,” Crowe observes.

“How are you?” Sidney enquires, ignoring the taunt.

“Better than you, unless my eyes deceive me,” Crowe says bluntly, “I noticed on my arrival, you appear quite distracted.  What grieves your tortured soul? Does the merry widow have you in such sombre mood perhaps?”

Irritated with Crowe’s loud attempt at humour, Sidney’s rejoinder is short and sharp, “I’ve not seen her in days.”

Crowe sits back as a waiter places a bottle and glass on the table. He then suggests another possible reason for Sidney’s moodiness, asking, “Is it the great Sanditon projector then, causing your displeasure, demanding you run his errands yet again?”

“Huh!  ‘Great’ is hardly a description I would use for my brother’s ability as a projector,” grumbles Sidney, “Great at projecting pain upon others, that is all.”

“Oh?  Do tell!”

“It’s nothing. I’m dealing with it,” he says, with a slight shake of his head.

There is an awkward pause as both men concentrate on their drinks, before Crowe endeavours to open up the conversation again.

“So how goes the repair work in Sanditon? I suppose Miss Heywood is worth her weight in gold?  What new ideas will your brother have to thank her for, to make the place ever more entertaining and attract the whole of London’s best?”

“Miss Heywood has left Sanditon,” Sidney replies abruptly.

Crowe is surprised by this news, having come to regard Miss Heywood as practically belonging to the seaside town. He is also rather puzzled by Sidney’s continuing sharp tone. He attempts an innocuous response, “Oh. She will be missed!”

Sidney takes another gulp of his drink, refraining from making any reply. Crowe finds this unusual lack of flow in their conversation somewhat uncomfortable. It is not the first time he has seen his friend irritated, but this is more. His scowl is menacing and there is an obvious stiffness about him; yes, Parker is angry, very angry. Crowe is reminded of a day some months ago when Sidney chastised him for his glib comments about Miss Heywood and Miss Lambe. At least this time he knows the anger is not directed at him, but is anxious that Sidney may cause a scene by raising his voice and thumping hard on the table as he did on that other occasion. He is unsure whether to try to engage Sidney in further conversation and encourage improvement in his mood, or inquire as to whether he can assist with what is ailing his friend. He is concerned that there is something very wrong here, but does not wish to risk his companion’s ire by appearing too inquisitive. For once, although he has no idea of what is troubling Parker, he is sensitive enough to his pessimistic mood to desist from taunting him further.

Gingerly he asks, “What troubles you so, Parker? In all seriousness, is it your brother?”

“It’s always my brother.”

“What has he done now?”

“What has he not done, that irks those around him? What vexes me most is that he has taken the credit for Charlotte’s success in organising the Sanditon Regatta, and caused her such distress since that accursed fire. He’s failed to acknowledge her significant accomplishments, and to appreciate her tireless work in making his business operate far more efficiently than ever before.”

Crowe is surprised to hear Sidney’s anger involves Tom’s attitude to their summertime house guest. He is uncertain why Sidney should be so incensed – or why he has brought her into the conversation at all. Confusion keeps him silent.

Sidney’s voice gathers strength as he continues, increasingly irritated, “When all is said and done this situation is entirely his fault. He’s used me to atone for his sins, and caused the undoing of something that should have been a source of happiness for me ... and for another. He’s forced my hand, compelling me to take action I will regret for the rest of my life!” His tone changes from angry to scathing, “But that’s Tom Parker, useless businessman, dreamer, unceasing in his ridiculous fantasies, oblivious to the devastation he causes for those who are fool enough to care for him.”

Realising Sidney has finished his outburst, Crowe mumbles, “I’m sorry he’s always setting such blight on your life.”

Crowe’s comment steers Sidney’s thoughts back to the day he returned to Sanditon to give his family the news he had found a solution to Tom’s situation. He feels close to choking, an attack of needle-sharp pain spiking across his chest as he experiences again the devastation he had suffered during that journey. It had been all he could do, to not turn back to London to cancel everything that had been put into place the day before, Tom’s redemption be damned. He had considered simply asking the driver to take the carriage to the London docks, where he could book immediately onto a ship – after all, he had no reason to stay here, with nothing now to offer Charlotte. In the worst moments he had even contemplated going straight to the cove on arrival in Sanditon, to swim out fully clothed, as far as he was able, until fatigue should drag him under and liberate him from this hell of guilt and pain.

His family’s reaction to his news comes to mind; Mary’s cautious smile of relief – at least she was aware of his struggle – in contrast to Tom’s exuberant shouting, and the ecstatic, grinning faces of his siblings. There they all were, laughing triumphantly, Tom bouncing about, taking it as his due while the others behaved as if they had expected nothing less from Sidney, delighting in his success as if it was their own. 

Charlotte’s entry into the room had brought him nothing but shame. His remorse and bleakness of bearing were not even noticed by his family, rushing off in pursuit of approval from Lady Denham, oblivious to his torment and leaving him to face the horror and humiliation alone; to share with the woman he had come to love - more than he could ever adequately express - the terrible news that he must marry another. Instead of the proposal he had imagined in a blissfully romantic setting with her, he was forced to break both their hearts while his family rushed off to celebrate with Sanditon’s Great Lady.

From these memories Sidney now draws a simple, sickening conclusion; his sacrifice has been far too great. Nobody truly understands the extent of it, but Charlotte. Charlotte, who shares his pain. Charlotte, who should not have to even know of his pain, let alone suffer it with him. He has wounded his love most brutally – he may as well have driven a knife through her heart ... and his own. Tom would not have mourned him for long, and perhaps would have uttered a few words of regret over Charlotte, nothing more. His loss of access to Mrs. Campion’s wealth would have caused him far more grief. His selfish lack of compassion, his utter want of scruple – it is beyond comprehension. It is beyond bearing.     

“He will realise all too late that he needs Charlotte,” he declares through gritted teeth, “even now with all the Campion wealth that he cannot wait to get his hands on! If it brings him undone it will be poetic justice! When fate deals out its retribution then I will finally have the last laugh.” His face falls as he contemplates his loveless future. “But it will be all too late,” he says despondently.

Crowe is silent, trying to make sense of Sidney’s bitter tirade. Not understanding its meaning, he gulps again at his drink, wondering how to placate his friend. In the past he would have suggested without hesitation that they simply get drunk together to help him to forget his woes, but he perceives that this is far too serious. Parker’s face is a study in misery. His tone of voice makes Crowe wary; a step the wrong way may just cause an outburst that will be of extreme interest to other members sitting close by, and thus fodder for the gossip mill. No, Sidney’s troubles must not become public knowledge.

“What d’you say Parker, we find ourselves a more private place to indulge in a few ... might help to lighten your load?”

“No. I cannot. That would be completely wrong. She deserves better. I must remain sober and responsible. I owe her that much, at least.”

Crowe’s incomprehension continues as his friend looks intently into his drink.

“I’ve broken two hearts, and before long will no doubt break a third,” Sidney mumbles, as if to himself. 

Silence reigns as Sidney stares at his glass, and Crowe stares at him. Frowning suddenly, Sidney looks up to the bewildered expression on his friend’s face and realises that his anger has made him reckless; he has said too much. He lifts his glass to his lips, drains it and makes a sluggish move to leave, sighing as he gets to his feet. 

“I must be gone ... things to do. It’s been a pleasure. We must engage again soon.”

A curt nod and he is turning for the door.

Chapter Text

Crowe watches open-mouthed as Sidney shuffles away, slow to move, shoulders sagging, leaving without acknowledging others in the club.  Crowe is dumbfounded.  Sidney Parker does not behave in such a way.  Even on his most moody of days, he can be relied upon to be courteous to those around him.  And as to the conversation they have just had?  Parker has been unwilling to share a scrap of information, or even speak with him at all after his initial greeting, until his sudden heated outburst.  Then his parting words, ‘It’s been a pleasure’ ... well no, this whole conversation has definitely not been a pleasure!  And ... ‘We must engage again soon’ ... what? ... engage?   What is he now ... a business associate?  Is this how he has decided he should address a lifelong friend?  Is this down to the influence of the Widow Campion perhaps?  Sidney Parker, close friend of many years, has just addressed him with the formal politeness of a stranger.  

Crowe is not offended.  He is, however, exceedingly perplexed, and concerned for Parker’s wellbeing.  Only a few weeks ago he was witnessing a change in his friend – an ease of attitude, even joking and teasing as he used to do, so long ago.  Admittedly, his moods had swung a little, what with the various responsibilities heaped upon him by his brother; cheerful one day, irritable the next, but overall he had been a much happier fellow ... until he came back to London after that damned fire ... and now, today ... he is almost impossible to converse with.

Unbidden, thoughts of Lady Denham's awful pineapple luncheon come to Crowe - he does not stop to wonder why, but finds himself thinking of Miss Heywood’s comments on marriage...

          ‘Wealth would not come into it ... without equality of affection ... a form of slavery’.

He cannot help but compare the contrasts in Sidney’s behaviour ... is this engagement of his only for wealth?  Suspicious is it not, that Sidney has just railed about Tom waiting to access Mrs. Campion’s wealth?  News has got about that Tom Parker was in serious financial difficulty after the fire - has Sidney only proposed to the widow to get his brother out of trouble?  Has he committed to a life of slavery; hence this angry frame of mind?  If so, then how long before he will overindulge again, in fighting, drunkenness and carelessly risking his fortune at the gaming tables ... to be ruined yet again ... perhaps forced to go abroad again ... and all for what – his brother’s selfish greed and desire for grandeur?  What of his kind heart?  Will he try to hide it all again, all the hurt, the resentment, and now the sacrifice for this disgraceful brother’s recklessness and assumption of privilege? ... Perish the thought!

Crowe deliberates worriedly over his friend’s distressed state.  Lifting the bottle he pours another glass, but instead of drinking he stares into the liquid, ruminating on events of another time.  He remembers the sad youth of ten years ago, the gentle young man whose heart was crushed, rejected by a selfish girl who chose wealth and shiny things over love.  The trouble and strife he invited in, this grieving boy spinning out of control, falling into an abyss of pain, losing himself in drinking, gambling and fighting; night after troubled night seeking solace - and punishment - loathing himself for not measuring up to the standards of the girl he had considered his perfect match, his partner in all things ... the girl with the beautiful face, and the heart of stone.  

Forcing down his anxiety now, Crowe recalls the many desperate attempts he and Babington had made trying to wrest a reluctant and uncooperative Sidney from the seedy side of town.  He remembers Tom Parker’s eventual intervention, dragging Sidney bruised and broken away from it all, forcing him to sober up before seeing him onto a ship bound for shores unseen; a place so far away that the shame of his behaviour could be forgotten quickly and hence any disgrace to the Parker name could be avoided.  Yes, that was Tom Parker, the brother Sidney had indebted himself to, the brother he had repaid times over, the brother who could still find ways to trigger his guilt and force him to comply with his increasingly burdensome demands.

Crowe’s thoughts move forward to Sidney’s return from Antigua.  He and Babbers had missed him over the years and wondered frequently how he might be faring.  An occasional letter provided but little information, always somewhat terse, leading them to believe he was not particularly happy away from the motherland. Eventually he wrote of his imminent return, and in due course they had revelled in a delightful reunion on the docks, Sidney arranging for his belongs to be taken to Bedford Place while he joined his old friends for a night to remember – although with scant recall of their activities Crowe would freely admit it was more likely a night to forget.  

Their friendship and socialising together had resumed as if they had never been apart.  However, there was a difference – a significant difference – in Sidney Parker’s demeanour and his attitude to life.  The man who returned, elegant, strong, handsome and obviously wealthy showed little interest in allowing anyone to come close to his heart, as he had as a callow youth.  While he valued his friendship with his two loyal companions and imbibed frequently with them, joining in illegal fighting while they happily placed bets on the odds of his taking the win, his business had become his life.  An occasional remark about his time in Antigua was enough for his friends to avoid inquiring further.  Parker had seen things he wished he could forget, and had no desire to discuss them.  His guardianship of the young Miss Georgiana Lambe was also something he did not immediately inform them of.  About his personal life, Sidney Parker was a closed book.

Crowe recalls that subsequent to his return to London Sidney's business acumen quickly became apparent to those keen to observe.  With his swift return of profits, wise decisions in expanding his business and ability to drive a hard bargain while fair and honest in his dealings, he rapidly became highly respected with a reputation as an upright and judicious businessman.  Very few remembered the young man who had left the country to avoid disgrace so long ago, nor did any realise that he and this elegant and confident entrepreneur were one and the same.  Even his brother Tom, who had sent him far away to avoid having the family tarred with the brush of scandal, had quickly begun bragging to others of Sidney’s business success. 

The hidden tragedy of this success however, was Tom’s presumed prerogative to use it for his own benefit; placing financial demands on Sidney, never missing the opportunity to remind him of his familial obligation to return the favour of years ago, and abusing Sidney’s generosity as if it should be an ongoing entitlement for his own reckless business ventures, knowing his brother would always pull him back from the financial brink.

Crowe thinks forward to more recent times when Tom insisted on Sidney bringing his friends to boost efforts to promote the resort, summer months being the ideal time.  Sidney had not been keen, but had suffered Tom’s bullying demands and done his bidding in the end.  As a consequence Crowe had never warmed to Tom Parker, and he knows that Babington shares his unfavourable opinion of the man.  He knows also that while Sidney had felt guilty for dragging his friends to that sleepy place, he had been motivated by love for Tom, his wife Mary and their children, whom he had always spoken of with great affection.  Crowe knows that has not changed; when Sidney Parker gives of himself it is without reservation.  Tom had also benefited of course from the fact that Sidney had been unattached and had intended to remain so, his past experience firmly influencing his decision.

Crowe now deliberates over this morning’s chance meeting. He has just witnessed again the signs of despair and defeat that had overwhelmed his friend in the long distant past.  Here are the dull eyes, stooped shoulders, dragging feet and the aloneness that the guileless, kind-hearted youth of ten years ago was unable to rise above without help, though Parker would never admit to needing anyone’s assistance with any current crisis.  

The broken boy is back, in the guise of a mature, brooding man.  The difference this time is that, perhaps out of responsibility to family and whoever this anonymous woman is, he has not succumbed to the destruction that follows from consistently drinking oneself into a state of oblivion ... well, not yet, at least.

But what is the reason for his wretchedness?  Oh, it is all becoming clearer now.  There is a pattern here.  After all these years of guarding his heart, Parker has fallen again.  Those happier days just weeks ago were all too brief, his mood now dark and dispirited.  Just as in his youth, he has loved again and somehow lost. His heart is shattered, and it would seem the same individual is the manipulator, the mistress of his undoing, but for a very different reason.

Who is the woman he speaks of when declaring he owes her, to at least maintain sobriety?  It is not Mrs Campion, of that Crowe is certain.  He thinks over what Sidney has just let slip about his beliefs where Charlotte Heywood is concerned; his fury with his brother’s failure to acknowledge her contribution to Sanditon, the ease with which he has informally used her first name when speaking of her, his statement that he has broken two hearts already, and yet will break another ... and there it is!

Crowe gasps as he realises the truth of the matter; Sidney Parker might indeed wish to marry – but not Mrs. Campion!  In fact, he has not mentioned her name once, and even cut Crowe short when he asked about her, but has spoken of Charlotte Heywood with much feeling.  He is trapped, and desperate about this impending marriage!  If he goes ahead with it, he cannot bring love to this union with the widow, and thus will break her heart as well.  

So, the two hearts he has already broken?  There is only one answer – his, and Miss Heywood’s!  The simple truth takes Crowe’s breath away ... Sidney Parker is engaged to one woman but in love with another! 

But how has Parker broken Miss Heywood’s heart?  Perhaps she expected a proposal?  Why did he not seek her hand in marriage?  Or did he?  Has she rejected him? No-o-o!  No, no, not possible!  He recalls their attendance together at Mrs Maudsley’s ball.  He had not seen Sidney Parker so immersed in conversation with any woman in years.  He had witnessed Sidney accompanying her round, seemingly happy in her presence, reluctantly separating only when his tiresome brother called him away.  Crowe had thought it amusing to see him flirting for once.

Then there was that dance – Sidney escorting Miss Heywood to the dance floor, their talking softly together, taking their places with complete absorption in each other.  He recalls with surprise the totally rapt expression on his friend’s face, and the intensity of admiration he witnessed in hers.  They had held each other’s gaze as if they could not bear to look away, even forgetting the steps as the dance came to a close, Sidney actually holding her closer than deemed appropriate.  Crowe realises now what that was ... no mere flirtation, but their captivation with one another.

But what had happened after that dance?  For the life of him, he cannot recollect ... and Mrs. Campion at the regatta ... what followed then?  Crowe had gone back to London so was unaware of what transpired – did the widow actually ensnare him then?  No, as she had not gone back to him in Sanditon for the midsummer ball and rumour round London was that she had failed in her quest to win his heart again.  Well then, what a curious thing ... he had sent her packing, but suddenly within a week he had proposed?  Knowing the abject misery she had brought down upon him in the past, this engagement had not made much sense to Crowe then and it makes even less now, now that he has witnessed how distressed his friend is.

Parker’s fretting is the widow’s doing, of that Crowe is certain now.  On the few occasions he has seen them together, she has been playing the coy young girl he had loved in his youth.  Why Parker has submitted to her scheming he cannot fathom, but one thing he has gleaned this morning - his friend is desperately unhappy.  That spider Mrs Campion – a less than complimentary description, Crowe knows but, well, he never did like her, or trust her for that matter – she has been tightly weaving her clingy gossamer strands about him since the London Ball.  Why?  What is it that she is holding over him?  This is not the confident, quietly proud Parker that Crowe is used to sharing time with.  He has only seen him a handful of times since the Sanditon Regatta, but each time he has observed them as a couple he has been sure that the attachment holds nothing of the happy reunion about it that others speak of.  Parker seems to simply be going through the motions, allowing Mrs. Campion to cling possessively to his arm, speaking only when necessary and looking away into the distance, his face showing no emotion, or pleasure in her company.  He even appears to be hiding the irritation that Crowe knows he must feel while she chatters on with the latest monotonous London gossip.  Something is not right.

For some reason, Sidney is caught up in this widow’s wicked web and needs help; help to untangle him from its sticky, suffocating threads.  He cannot do this alone. And all this unfairness he speaks of – what if his resentment and anger begin to fester?  And fester they will.  In truth, if this morning’s conversation is anything to go by, it has already begun.

“No, Parker!” Crowe growls softly, rising resolutely from his seat, “You will not slide back into that hell. We will not allow it.”

Tossing a few coins onto the table and collecting his hat and cane, Crowe leaves the club to take the first available carriage, hopeful of finding Babington returned from his brief wedding tour.

Chapter Text

Mary is weighed down with guilt.  She cannot dismiss from her mind the discussions she has had with Sidney and the image of his countenance when she had come upon him holding Charlotte’s dress.  For a split second before his startled reaction, she had glimpsed the sorrow and hopelessness that now convince her he can only ever know heartache if he goes ahead with this marriage.  He had quickly tried to mask his despair after the shock of seeing her standing in the doorway, but they both knew it could not be ignored.  She admires him for his courageous attempt to bring a sense of normality back to the situation before taking his leave.  She is glad that he does not know what transpired between her and Tom during the argument of two nights ago.  She thinks back, remembering her disgust as she had tried to reason with Tom...

From the moment that she had opened the conversation he had taken a defensive stance, ridiculing her attempts to convince him that Sidney had no love for Eliza Campion and that his heart belonged to another.  Tom’s derisive laugh had reminded her of his condescending response in their carriage on the day of the accident in Willingden, at her suggestion that they were perhaps travelling the wrong road.  Although she had been proved correct, he had made no apology.  This is the man who stood before her in the study, spluttering about Sidney’s debt to him and his obligation to assist the family, with no gratitude to his brother for abandoning his own responsibilities, to travel to London on his behalf.  This is the man who still steadfastly refuses to take responsibility for the dire situation his brother has sought to put right. 

As she had anticipated, Tom was not prepared to consider her request that he at least make an attempt to find an alternative solution to his financial woes, simply insisting that it was Sidney’s obligation.  Refusing to consider the idea that Sidney could possibly have no feeling for Mrs Campion, he had employed his usual tactic of ignoring Mary’s anguished plea.   In her anger she had railed against his lack of principle, with his eagerness to take Mrs Campion’s money and ignore his brother’s despair.  His look of disbelief would have been laughable, had the subject not been so desperate. 

Apparently hurt by her accusation, Tom had reminded Mary of her words to him in the chapel after Old Stringer’s funeral, while Sidney undertook the journey to London to try to find a solution to his debt.

"But Mary, you said you believe in me. Do you not remember? You said you love me!”

Mary had wanted to shout at him that she regretted those words most sorely.  Why? - because at that time she had believed; at that time Tom had appeared repentant and contrite, but after Sidney’s return she had realised how self-centred his regret had been.  His only thoughts had been for his own redemption through Sidney’s actions.  At a time when he should have been considering Young Stringer and his loss, and what he might do to make amends to those he had disappointed, he was only concerned with how others regarded him. She feels repulsion at the words he had spoken, in apparent anguish, “What can you think of me?” 

"Oh yes, Tom. I remember.  I told you I loved you.  I told you I believed in you.  I said it because I foolishly assumed you would rise up from your self-imposed misery and take responsibility, but no longer.  I have seen how little you have done to fix this. You have allowed Sidney to bear the full burden of it.  And yes, I did love you Tom.  But now, do not ask those words of me.”

“You no longer love me?”

" I do not know Tom.  I may love you yet, I truly do not know ... but at this moment one thing I do know most surely; I do not like you.”

“But Mary –”

“No Tom, do not speak to me again, until you have accepted the blame for this disaster, and found a way to release Sidney from this farcical engagement.  You must earn his forgiveness and respect, for you have certainly done nothing to deserve it at this moment.”    

Not another word had been spoken.  Mary had hurried to the bedroom, locked the door and paced the floor in a bid to regain her composure.  Eventually, unhappy and exhausted, she had crawled into bed to find sleep. 

Apart from Tom’s early departure in the mornings and late return last night, going straight to his study without acknowledging others, Mary has no idea what he has been doing since the argument.  She does not wish to know.  She has tired of supporting his selfish whims.  He must now decide what is truly of most importance.  Enough is enough. 

Mary decides she will do as Sidney does to deal with difficulties in his life, such as when Tom upsets him with his outrageous demands.  She will try sea bathing in the hope of achieving some sense of peace.  It may even assist her to think of some way to right this wrong.  Going to the bathing machines, she enters the water and swims for a short while but does not find relief from her troubled thoughts.  Believing perhaps she has stayed too long, she dresses with difficulty, feeling exhausted and sore and aware of the beginnings of a headache, no doubt brought on by this unwelcome trouble in her life.

Distracted in her deliberations, Mary slowly makes her way home.  Arriving at Trafalgar House she is unexpectedly overwhelmed by the desire to walk on past, away from the anguish that is life behind that door.  Ashamed that she does not wish to enter her own home, she silently reproaches herself for ignoring her family.  This is her lot.  She must do as Sidney is doing - she must make the best of it.  Perhaps she will feel better if she takes a little rest while the nanny is still busy with the children.

*  *  *

Lady Susan has arrived back in London after a country trip visiting with friends.  Sorting through her post she is delighted to find a letter from Charlotte. From its thickness she detects that it is quite a lengthy correspondence.  She orders tea, expecting to settle in for an enjoyable account of her young friend’s news from Sanditon.  She is especially eager for details of the midsummer ball, intrigued as to whether Charlotte and the certain gentleman they discussed at the Regatta have perhaps commenced a courtship, or even agreed to an engagement.  In her anticipation of good news she fails to notice the address from which the letter has been sent.

 Within the first few lines of the letter, Susan is astonished by Charlotte’s sad news that she has returned home to Willingden. She becomes increasingly concerned as the story unfolds, and is shocked by the particulars of the fire and its alarming consequences.  Reading further, her usual composure is shattered by the engagement Charlotte speaks of between Sidney Parker and the wealthy widow Mrs Campion, a woman Susan has disliked and indeed mistrusted on sight. If Sidney Parker is in fact in love with Charlotte then how could he settle for this? What other options did he consider?  Of course his brother’s lack of business sense is well known, but surely his own high standing as an honest and capable business man with impeccable credentials and good connections would have enabled his securing of funds? What was he thinking? 

“Oh Sidney Parker,” she says on a rush of breath, “what have you done?”

Susan immediately abandons the plan for tea and calls for her carriage, to visit Bedford Place without delay.  She wants to gauge the young man’s feelings, as her lovely young friend is heartbroken and she is resolute that this must be remedied. Charlotte simply must not suffer. There is surely a story to this betrothal that goes beyond Mr Sidney Parker merely proposing marriage in return for Mrs Campion’s meeting Tom Parker’s debt, and she is determined to get to the heart of the matter.  If Sidney Parker is in love with Charlotte, as it would seem from the content of her letter, he must be dissuaded from marrying Eliza Campion.  As to this appalling debt, Susan must help Sidney to find a far more fitting solution to his reckless brother’s frightful ineptitude. 

*  *  *

As life goes on at the Heywood farm it seems to Charlotte that nothing has changed.  It is as if she had not ventured away for the summer; it is almost a dream – or perhaps a nightmare.  Since her walk with her Papa yesterday she has made a determined effort to remain busy, helping her mother with household duties and spending time in the family’s vegetable garden, tilling a small area in preparation for planting.  Although she has endured a restless night again, she is feeling proud of herself today as with family members always present she is able to put her mind to matters other than Sanditon.

Returning from the village with the day’s post, Alison hands Charlotte a letter.  Pleased that Susan has replied so swiftly, she glances down at it, but recognising Mary’s handwriting she realises her mistake and her pulse begins to race.  She is not sure what to think, as barely two days have passed since her departure from Sanditon, and she has not expected Mary to write so quickly, rather that she would wait to hear from Charlotte first.  Hoping there is nothing wrong at the Parkers’ home or the Sanditon rebuild, her heart thumps so hard she is sure others must hear it.  Thanking her sister for the letter, she makes her way to her favourite quiet place by the stream, settling back against a tree to read in seclusion from inquisitive family members.  When she breaks the seal on the letter she is surprised to find something from each of the children, along with a disappointingly short note from Mary. 

Each of the Parker children has drawn a picture for her.  Alicia has created a sketch of a boat, and has written underneath, ‘This boat belongs to Admiral Heywood.’  Charlotte laughs softly, wishing she could give Alicia a hug of thanks.  Jenny has written ‘I miss you’ under her picture of four people building a sandcastle, Charlotte’s and the children’s names printed above the figures.  This brings tears to Charlotte’s eyes and she takes a deep breath, trying to remain calm.  Henry has also drawn a picture of a boat – shaky, but delightful all the same.  Across the bottom of his page is a note in Mary’s hand, ‘I will sail to get you from Willingden one day’.

Feelings come flooding in.  Happy to hear from them, missing them and sad that she cannot be with them she wants to go back, but knows that would cause her too much hurt.  She turns now to Mary’s note:   

Dear Charlotte,

I hope your trip to Willingden was comfortable in the carriage.  No doubt your family would be excited to have you back amongst them.

The children miss you.  They have decided to write to you and send you some small drawings that may keep Sanditon in your thoughts.  They have enjoyed creating their little pieces of art, and we hope that these will bring you happy thoughts of the Parkers. 

Tom laments the loss of his very efficient assistant.  I know you do not look for approval for your efforts but I must say that he will always remember your contribution to Sanditon with much gratitude.

Best wishes Charlotte,

Mary Parker

 Charlotte looks over Mary’s brief letter, feeling deep disappointment, that her friend has not written more than a few courteous lines, and has not even mentioned Sidney.  She is well aware that she has no right now to expect anyone to keep her informed of his whereabouts, his actions or his wellbeing, but it hurts – more than she wants to admit.  There is nothing in these words to bring her joy, or even some measure of contentment.  The letter lacks warmth.  It is as if Mary has written from a sense of obligation, with no wish to be more than a distant correspondent from this point on, a different person from the wonderfully warm woman who had sat at the Heywood table inviting her to Sanditon for the summer.  She wonders why Mary has signed the letter with her full name.  There is a formality – and finality – about it that leaves her confused and disillusioned.  So, it is ended.  It is all in the past. 

Restless now, Charlotte gets to her feet.  She makes her way to her thinking place - the bridge, where months ago her father had warned her of the dangers of such places as Sanditon.  How disappointed he would be, should he learn what has transpired.  Leaning against the wall of the bridge, looking out to where the stream has stilled, she struggles to bring some order to her troubled thoughts.

Turning to what she almost had with Sidney, she hopes yet again that he is alright, and that first and foremost he and Georgiana can find mutual respect and even affection for each other as time goes on.  That, at least, might bring him some sense of accomplishment.  It concerns her that Mrs Campion might pose a threat to any truly comfortable understanding between them, as she believes it highly unlikely that the two women will find accord, and Sidney will no doubt struggle to mediate.  Charlotte sees that in some ways the two women are much alike, both self absorbed and determined, and although she is Georgiana’s friend she is well aware of her petulant character.  She hopes that with time, experience will bring to her friend some measure of maturity, as it has brought to herself, and that she and Georgiana can both avoid a hardening of their hearts.

Charlotte is feeling utterly world-weary, struggling to understand why she has had to endure this most undeserved and traumatic experience.  Mary’s letter has brought a startling revelation – Charlotte no longer holds any claim to closeness with the Parkers of Sanditon, or even the town itself.  Looking over Mary’s lines again, as if there she might find some sort of explanation, she feels instead the hollow pain of loneliness and disconnection.  These drawings from the children, filled with the enthusiasm and affection of three young hearts that miss her in the moment, will soon be forgotten as they grow and find other interests.  She will become a memory along with their sandcastles and toy boats, vaguely tucked away in the dim recesses of their minds, perhaps drawn out again over the years if they should happen to reminisce together over the days of their youth...

... That young lady who spent a summer with us – what was her name again?  ... oh yes, Charlotte, that’s right ... from a little village, somewhere, was it Wellington? ... no, Willingden I think ...oh yes, and she wore her hair all over the place ... kind young thing, she helped Father in his office ... yes, tidied up his messy papers ... that’s right, and she got down in the sand with us, with no care for how dishevelled she might appear ... oh and do you remember, she played with us and Uncle Sidney, with those little red and blue boats he gave us...

The papers slip from her fingers.  Her thoughts in tatters, Charlotte sadly tries to accept that her life will never be what she had envisioned before her summer adventure in Sanditon.  She admits now to some regret, that her disenchantment with Willingden had compelled her to seek excitement outside the familiar comforts of home, and she wonders what life now holds in store.  She can see no promise for her future.  It is natural for a woman of her age to be seeking to attract the attention of a young man with a view to marriage, and she knows that before long her parents will begin to question her reluctance to do so.  Even if she should eventually conquer this heartache, she has no interest in forming an attachment with any gentleman in the future.  She can only marry for love, and she has already lost her heart to the best man she knows.  

With this last thought the stark reality of her situation strikes hard at Charlotte's already aching heart. Grief hits with dizzying force as her knees buckle and she sinks down, her hands splayed, scraping painfully against the cold, rough stone of the bridge wall.

It begins small in her throat, a low, soft, guttural sob, a croaky growl borne of anguish and loss, growing, building in volume, rising in pitch as she finally begins to let go, to set herself free from all  the harrowing days and nights of pain and pent up sorrow.  Her chest now heaving, the harsh, rasping lament brings an ache to her throat, as it swells into a loud, plaintive cry.  Her lonely soul is in torment, in solitary struggle with no hope of settling scores, knowing only the hollow howl of defeat, no comfort to be found.  Alone in this place, where all around her is quiet and still, her hands pressing hard against the wall and head thrown back, her loud, pitiful wailing rends the air.

Chapter Text

Sitting in his study at Bedford Place Sidney has mail to read but is distracted; he is weary, from the combination of yesterday’s journey, another restless night and the fruitless visit to the gentlemen’s club this morning. He is disappointed, but not surprised by the conversation with prospective investors at the club.  Some of their comments have made it clear that Tom’s incompetence in business is well known, so the fact that it is his project makes them wary, especially after news of the fire.  He understands their reluctance, and this does nothing for his peace of mind.  

Sidney regrets having been so distant with, and dismissive of his friend Crowe, but is struggling to even think straight.  He hopes Crowe is not too offended, and decides he must seek him out to apologise.  It irks him that he must keep the true reasons for his recent actions from his two most loyal friends, but what would be the purpose in enlightening them?  They would try to dissuade him and that is something he cannot endure.  It is disheartening enough having to push down his own futile hopes that something might change for the better.  He should have visited Eliza by now, but cannot bring himself to take the carriage ride to her home.  Nor does he feel guilty for allowing her to continue to believe he has not yet returned from Sanditon.  He knows he is not doing enough to face the reality of his situation.  He must do better.  Absentmindedly staring straight ahead, he turns a paper weight over repeatedly with his hand.

As Jenkins announces Lady Susan’s arrival, she is swift to take note of Sidney’s dejected posture, and knows that here is a troubled young man.

Startled by her appearance in the doorway Sidney leaps from his chair to welcome her.

“Lady Worcester!  This is a surprise!”

“Mr Parker,” she replies, “Please, it’s just ‘Susan’, and may I call you Sidney?”

“But of course!” Sidney agrees nervously as he motions her to a chair, hastily winding his sleeves down, “please forgive my state of dress –”

“Oh never mind that,” she says, waving away his apology, “I come upon you unannounced!”

“Some refreshment?” he asks, now securing the buttons at the top of his shirt and retying the cravat that has been hanging loosely round his neck. 

“Thank you, tea would be lovely,” she replies, amused at his embarrassment.

Sidney motions to Jenkins, who bows and leaves the room.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Sidney asks. There is more to his nervousness than simply being caught in such a state of informal dress by a lady of the Ton; this woman has the power to raise one’s status or to bring one down, and he is well aware of her fondness for Charlotte.  Surely she can only think very poorly of him since his decision to enter into this engagement?  He fears a tongue lashing at the very least, and does not wish to even contemplate what further steps she might take to exact revenge for his treatment of Charlotte.  

Susan comes straight to the point. “I must speak with you about a mutual friend who needs my help.”

“You’re speaking of Charlotte,” he says cautiously.

“Yes,” she replies. “It is not my intention to pry, but I must understand what the situation is between you.  Charlotte is seeking my counsel, and I have no wish to risk making things more difficult for her by giving poor advice.”

“Of course,” Sidney says, fighting down his uneasiness, “I’m not usually comfortable with sharing details of personal matters, but if I can be of assistance ... I’ll answer your questions as best I can.  I thank you, for looking out for her.”

Susan looks at him, considering his words and noting his sincerity, before speaking again.  “I would not normally break someone’s confidence but in this case I believe it is necessary – and urgent – that I allow you to read a lengthy correspondence I have received today from Charlotte.”

She holds the letter towards him.  He takes it slowly from her hand, reluctant and frowning.

“Are you sure you want me to see this?” he asks, “Charlotte might not appreciate –”

“I am sure,” Susan interrupts.  She gestures toward the letter, insisting, “Please.”

Sidney nods, holding her gaze for a moment as he sits down, still uncomfortable with what she asks of him, but aware that he must comply. 

“Rest assured,” Susan declares, “that everything Charlotte has written – every detail – will be kept confidential by me.  I only share this with you as I consider I must.  I believe you will understand.”

Sidney nods, then looks down to the letter and begins to read.  He is surprised by the length of it, and believes Susan will become bored with waiting, but quickly becomes so absorbed in it that he forgets her presence in the room.

The first thing Sidney realises is that this letter was written at the same time he was staring at the moon with his own sad thoughts after Charlotte's departure for Willingden, the same night he had been so troubled and unable to sleep, wondering if she was thinking of him.  With her opening lines he now knows they had shared this heartache that night.  This somehow brings her written words to life in a way he had not expected, his reaction now threatening to put paid to his composure. 

Susan watches as he becomes emotional before he has even read beyond those first few lines.  She rises from her chair and paces slowly about the room while he is reading.  The maid comes in with tea, pouring a cup for each of them while Sidney continues to read, failing to notice either the refreshments or the maid’s exit from the room.  Susan sits down and begins to sip her tea.

Sidney reads in stops and starts.  He feels Charlotte’s anguish deeply, and must pause frequently to take long gasps of breath.  Susan is watching him intently, as he comes to a particularly moving section in the letter:

          The joy and affection I shared with Sidney was all too brief, but it was true.  Perhaps in time this pain will begin to subside, perhaps not, but for just this night I simply wish to allow these  tears to fall, and to own this love.

As he takes in the significance of these words Sidney becomes too distressed to read further.  He closes his eyes and holds his breath, tears threatening, the paper shaking in his hands as he drops them to his lap.  As at Trafalgar House on the morning after Charlotte’s departure, his limbs are weak and he feels a burning constriction in his chest.  Dragging a hand over his waistcoat to the pocket that holds his precious letter, he wishes he could be alone so he would not have to pretend.  He fights valiantly to compose himself, then attempting to control his trembling legs he moves inelegantly to his feet and turns to Susan.  She is dismayed at the look of hopelessness in his eyes.  Her expression tells him she has missed nothing of his emotional struggle. 

“Please,” he clears his throat, his voice husky, “forgive my lack of composure.  Thank you for allowing me to read the letter.  But...there is nothing I can do about this.  It is exactly as Charlotte has written.  I went up and down every avenue, visited all the banks and knocked on every door before settling for this engagement with Mrs Campion.”

“I see.  I must admit I was most surprised by the news.”

He shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other but doesn’t respond.

“I do not wish to appear impertinent," Susan continues, "but if I am to be of any assistance to Charlotte I must know, Sidney, do you love Eliza Campion?”

Sidney looks at her, then at the letter in his hands, and sighs.

Susan has her answer in his reluctance to speak, but she wants to hear it from his lips.  She glances about to check the servants are not within hearing distance.  “Believe me, I would never betray your confidence.  This is too important to both of us for me to indulge in gossip over it.”

Sidney looks back up, meets her eyes directly, and takes a deep breath before responding, his voice heavy with hopelessness, “No.  No, I do not.”

“I thought as much.  But you love Charlotte.”  It is a not a question.

Sidney drops his gaze, closes his eyes again and says almost in a whisper, “Yes.”

“Then for heaven’s sake my dear man, what are you doing?”

He raises his head in surprise at her vehement tone, pauses, and then drags his free hand through his hair.

“I don’t know.”  He spreads his hands in confusion, the letter dangling from one of them.  “I love Charlotte ... utterly and completely.  I never stop thinking about her, hoping that she is alright.  She's in my heart and my head, night and day.  And reading this,” he indicates the letter, “I cannot help but love her for her courage, her forgiveness ... her understanding.”

He releases the letter and watches it flutter down onto the table.  

“I see how distressing this is for you,” she says softly, pointing to the letter.

Her sympathy surprises him.  This is not what he has expected, but he finds it comforting, and is drawn to speak of his feelings for Charlotte, and his inability to truly let go.

“As she says, so many memories,” he replies, “I close my eyes and I see the cricket match she's written of.  I see her offering to play, partnering with me although we were not on good terms.  So determined she was, running the length of that pitch, so carefree, cheekily catching my eye as we passed each other.”

Sidney begins pacing, Susan watching silently, noticing cheerfulness in his voice for the first time, as he recalls, “She distracted the crowd from Tom’s petulant behaviour, entertained them, and even hit the winning run.  It was the most exciting cricket match I’ve ever played.”

He takes a deep breath, becoming serious as he goes on, eager now to have Susan understand the depth of his affection, “Another time, tending a worker who’d fallen at the worksite ... a broken leg ... knowing how to stem the bleeding, so calm, so compassionate, soothing the old man’s fears, distracting him from his pain ...”

He looks directly at Susan, his voice becoming soft and husky, “I loved her even then”, he says, “but like a fool ... that she is willing to let me go only serves to make me love her more.”  His voice flattens out, “If that’s even possible.”

“I see that you are affected by what you have read here,” Susan says, pointing to the letter.

“It’s as if Charlotte has read my mind.  I too wanted to dance, with her, forever.  She is right to say our joy and affection was true, and yes, that joy was all too brief.  But to speak of our affection as if we must assign it to the past ... I cannot.  I will carry it with me for the rest of my life.”

Susan replies softly, “You are heart sick.  You are in a world of pain!”

He whispers, “Yes.”

“Then this supposed ‘solution’ is not good enough," she declares.  "We must resolve this in favour of you and Charlotte.  You deserve to be happy – together.  You cannot marry this woman you do not love.  What on earth are you thinking Sidney?  It simply cannot be that you and Charlotte will not marry!”

Although she has spoken softly, he feels the admonishment in her words, and looks sharply across to her. 

“Do you think I've not searched in every corner for a solution other than this?”  He puts his fingers to his temples, “I do not want to marry Mrs Campion.  I must – for my family’s sake.  She insisted we marry before she would agree to fund Tom’s debt.  I was shocked.  I told her that was not possible.  She already knew my heart was with another, I’d told her so, and I believe she suspected it was Charlotte.  But she insisted.  I’d exhausted all other possibilities that I could imagine, but I left her house declaring I would have no part of it.  I roamed the streets in turmoil.  But it was exactly as Charlotte has written.”  He points to the letter on the table.  “I could find no other way.  So in desperation I returned, hoping to convince her – somehow – of the merits of investing without such a condition.”

“And?”

“She was unmoved," he replies, continuing to stare at the letter, "she knew she had the upper hand.  I barely recall what else was spoken between us.  I was devastated ... this ... this hideous bargain ... it was repulsive to me.  I felt ill."  He raises his eyes to meet hers as his voice takes a desperate tone, "But there was no other choice.  No choice.  I had to agree.” Feeling the sting behind his eyes, he is sure he must embarrass himself at any moment with a rush of tears.

Seeing his torment Susan moves towards him, laying her hand on his arm in a comforting gesture.  She knows he has taken a decision he will always regret.

Sidney's voice reduces to a whisper, “And so I broke Charlotte’s heart ... and my own.”

Chapter Text

There is silence in the room as Sidney makes a concerted effort to regain composure.  Susan moves away, to allow him time to gather his thoughts.  He still has one hand on the back of his chair, while the other has found its way to rest over the pocket in his waistcoat where Charlotte’s unfinished letter sits close to his heart.  After a few minutes, he looks up apologetically and gives Susan a wan smile.

Susan asks softly, “And how do you fare now?”

“How do you think?” he replies dispiritedly, “As you say, I’m heartsick.  I’ve caused Charlotte immeasurable pain.  If I am to be honest,” he continues, gesturing towards the letter, “I too am lost ... broken.  And the sad fact is that I’ve finally become the man Charlotte can hold in good regard, only to condemn us to permanent separation.” 

“So tell her you made a mistake.”

“Oh that I could!” he exclaims, “That I could go back, start our conversation anew.  But she wouldn’t be satisfied should I choose to ignore the needs of my sister-in-law and her children, even if it forces my brother to face the consequences of his own recklessness!  She’s right.  Fate has indeed dealt us a savage blow.  It’s futile.  I can do nothing more.”

Sidney looks down, not wishing to meet Susan’s gaze.  She allows a pause, before stating firmly, “Then I must take matters into my own hands and seek another solution for you!  You had been through a harrowing event, you were under duress, afraid for your brother’s family, and this Campion woman has played you.  I only wish you had come to me.”

Sidney jerks his head up, looking directly at her, “I called at your home when I was unable to find any joy with the banks!  You were the first person I thought of that may be able to assist me to find investors, and I knew of your care for Charlotte, but was advised you would be from home for several weeks.  I did not leave a card as I could not wait for your return.  I was out of time before Lady Denham would move against Tom.  I thank you sincerely for your desire to assist, but I don’t think there is anything you can do.  I’ve wrestled with this Susan, every minute of every day!  I pace the room.  I lie awake at night.  Huh! ... I’m at the end of my wits.  Sometimes I truly believe I will go mad!” 

He runs his hands through his hair, his eyes tightly closed.  Susan walks to him and places her hand gently on his arm again, as she takes the conversation into new territory.

“Forgive me, I do not wish to be seen as criticising your brother, but I simply do not understand, how is Tom Parker’s debt your responsibility?”

Sidney has known this question would come, and feels uncomfortable that he must delve into painful history he has kept buried for many years. If there is to be even a remote hope for him to share a future with Charlotte, he must be honest with Susan now.

“This is a long story,” he warns.

“My time is yours,” she replies without hesitation.

He looks to her directly, as he explains further, “I must tell you, some of this is difficult to relate.  I am not proud of it.”

“None of us is perfect, Sidney.  I am here to help, not to judge,” she replies, moving back towards her seat.

Heartened by her sincerity, Sidney stands gripping the back of his chair as, speaking softly, he begins...

“Ten years ago I was the victim of a broken engagement.  My betrothed, Eliza Sterling – hah, ironic is it not? – left me for the older, very wealthy Campion.  I did not take it well.  In a short space of time, I ceased caring about my life and everything connected to it.  I became absorbed in a pattern of self destruction, my days and nights spent in seedy public houses, brawling, drinking myself into oblivion and amassing enormous debts at gaming tables.  This went on for some time.  My friends, Babington and Crowe, tried hard to rescue me from my self-destructive behaviour but, young and naive themselves, were unable to prevent my downward spiral.  I even tried to get them to fight me!  Some nights I simply lost myself in drink and tears, convinced I was the most unworthy being on earth.  Other times I would swear to conquer the world, insisting I didn't need anybody, flailing helplessly about as my friends became increasingly desperate with me.  Eventually Tom stepped in, paid my debts and saw me off to Antigua.”

He glances at Susan.  She has resumed her seat and is listening intently.

“When I arrived in Antigua I was no better for my journey.  There’d been ample opportunity to continue my careless conduct on the ship, and I did not refrain.  I hated my very existence, and once on land I cursed the place.  The oppressive heat was an excuse to continue to imbibe and indulge in wild behaviour.  With the drink in me, I believed I was invincible.  In truth, I was naive and stupid.”

He looks again to Susan.  She is still watching him, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“One night, after a sound beating I was found collapsed outside a sordid tavern, by a man who owned a sugar plantation.  His name was Lambe.”

“The father of your ward?”

“Yes,” he says, looking up in surprise.  “You know her?” he asks, frowning.

“Of her, through Charlotte.”

“Oh, of course,” he says, nodding.  “Well, I’d been left for dead.  This man gathered me up from the dirt and carried me to his horse.  He laid me across the saddle and walked with the horse to his home.  It was quite a distance.  He saved my life.  He took me in, and with the care of his household I gradually began to recover my wits and my health.  He didn’t ever press me to enlighten him as to why I was in the situation in which he’d found me, but in time I was able to rise above my shame, at least with him, to share my sad history, and apologise for the inconvenience I’d caused him.  He insisted there was no inconvenience.  I'd never known such generosity.  I asked why he had rescued me.  To have been so generous, I believed there must have been something he wanted from me.  He said that he simply wished to give me a second chance.  He gave me a position of work, and taught me how to run a business.  Under his tutelage and with diligent effort I entered into business ventures and steadily amassed my own wealth, mostly through trade.”

“And your brother, Tom?”

“As I became comfortable financially I set up regular payments to him.”

“And you have now repaid him?”

“Financially, yes, many times over, in fact.”

“Then what keeps you tied to his dreams and schemes?”

“He is my brother; my older brother.”

“But ... he surely does not expect your contribution to continue indefinitely?”

“Ah, but he does.  That is the nature of the man, I’m afraid.”

“And why do you remain drawn into that?”

Sidney shrugs as he replies, “Gratitude, I suppose ... fear that he will fail ...”

“So he cannot succeed without you?  Or are you afraid to insist that he try?  This obligation – do you not wish to be free of it?”

“Of course I do, especially of late, having found good reason to be so.”

“Then why do you not insist?”

Sidney sighs again, considering her questions and seeing the sensible approach she is taking to his situation.  He cannot fault her reasoning, but in his mind he sees Mary and the children, relying on him.

“Tom is a man of grand ideas,” he replies, “and a great deal of enthusiasm but very little business sense.  His passion for his project means he neglects his family, and his lack of direction means the whole project flounders and he relies upon others to salvage it.  Charlotte saw this from her very first days in Sanditon.  Rather than judge him, she put her shoulder to the wheel to help him achieve his dreams.  For example, the regatta was Charlotte’s idea, and it was thanks to her organising that it actually took place.  Its success was assured in large part by your bringing half of London along.”

Sidney pauses, knowing his next words will not be favourable to his brother.

“Tom is hopelessly impractical.  He’s relied on Charlotte – and on me – for much of what was achieved.  And his failure to insure the building work was something I find difficult to forgive.  But I cannot allow his wife and children to suffer for his mistakes.”

“Your loyalty and affection for your family are to be applauded,” Susan says, “but your efforts to help them have brought undeserved distress and sadness to yourself and Charlotte.  I will not see your future happiness ruined in this way.  We must do something.  We need time.  Sidney, you must at least delay this wedding as long as possible.”

“I'm already doing exactly that, avoiding the question with Mrs Campion,” he replies.  He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, as he continues, “But I fear she will soon simply set a date and I'll be locked into it.  There’s no way out.  I’ve gone to great pains to have Tom’s creditors agree to wait, but that cannot continue indefinitely.  I’ve committed to this marriage, Susan. It was a desperate undertaking, but now I must follow through with it.  I’m honour bound.”

“Huh!  Honour!  Forgive me, but I must disagree!” she declares.

Sidney’s head comes up sharply to look directly at her, as she scathingly expresses her opinion, “She failed to honour her promise to you years ago!  You owe this woman nothing!”

“But –”

“Yes of course,” she continues, cutting him short, “you are anxious for your family, I realise that.  But there has to be another way.  We must find it.  I am gratified that you did try to call on me, I apologise for my hasty judgement of your actions.  I had not realised your time constraint.  I regret that I was out of town at such a crucial time.  But I am here now, and most eager to achieve a better solution, one that will result in a fair and happy situation for you and our dearest Charlotte.”

“I appreciate your desire to assist,” he manages to reply, “but I can’t think of anything –”

“I do have friends who are far from destitute.” she interrupts, “Perhaps we could form a syndicate.  What of your friends Lord Babington and Mr Crowe?”

“I know nothing of Crowe’s current financial position, and Lord Babington is not available right now, having married Miss Esther Denham only days ago.  I don’t know when they’ll return.  They chose to not reveal their destination or how long they’ll be from home.  In any case, I’m loath to even ask those friends to bail us out, they’ve supported Tom enough already, attending events in Sanditon when there was more entertainment for them in London.”

Sidney holds his hands out, and shrugs, a defeated man. 

Susan stands, donning her gloves, determination in her demeanour as she says, “Well, I will leave you now.  I have much to do, many people to consult over the next several days.  Do I have your permission to mention the debt – confidentially of course – to interested parties?”

“Of course.  Thank you.”

“Do not despair, Sidney.  I will send word immediately if I find a solution.  I will write to Charlotte as soon as I have some plans securely in place, but I will not mention our discussion.”

“Thank you,” he replies, “I appreciate your discretion.  I cannot hurt her further by encouraging hope which may come to nothing.”

Susan nods her agreement and Sidney picks up the letter on the desk, folding it as he speaks, “She’s suffering enough.  I don’t deserve her affection or her sympathy after the choice I made.  It was wrong.  I want so badly for it to be right, but I don’t know how to make it so.  I’m indeed grateful that you’re so willing and determined to help.”

“Charlotte is an exceptional young woman.  She deserves happiness.”

Whisper-quiet, his face giving away his feelings, he replies simply, “She does.”

Susan suggests softly, “Try to hold a little optimism in your heart my dear.  There are paths we might follow, and I will leave no stone unturned to find what we must do.  I will be in touch with you sometime in the next few days.”

Sidney hands back her letter, sees her to the door, goes to the fireplace and leans his head on his forearm against the mantle.  He considers all that has been said, longing for Susan’s efforts to be successful, but afraid to hope.  He cannot find a reason to believe he is deserving of happiness with the woman he loves so dearly.  In a despondent moment he becomes doubtful Susan will accomplish anything.  It is simply too much to hope for.

Closing his eyes he places his hand over the letter fragment in his pocket and says softly, "Please ... please."

Chapter Text

It is a blustery day in Sanditon.  Georgiana is preoccupied, staring out at the beach.  She has done little else in her waking hours since Sidney’s visit on his way out for London.  Remaining in her room she is happy at least to avoid those Beaufort girls, whose giggling annoys her to the point of distraction. Now believing she hasn’t a friend in the world she is finding it difficult to blame anyone but herself.  She has not been kind to her guardian, and has judged Charlotte to be foolish, falling in love with someone who proved to be undeserving of her.  She has no reason to judge her friend so harshly.  This is exactly the same as she had done with Otis.  The sadness of what has happened in recent weeks affects her greatly.  She even misses Arthur, and has no idea when he might grace Sanditon’s shores again.  Being so alone is not a good thing.  There is too much time for contemplation.

While staring vacantly out at the effects of one of Tom Parker’s nonexistent gales, she is brought back to the present by a knock at her door.  When Crockett enters with a letter she eagerly takes it, and noticing Charlotte’s handwriting she hurries to open it, feeling a pang of guilt for not having responded to Charlotte’s note of farewell.  She has done nothing to rephrase her original reply, which still lies hidden under the pad on her desk. Pushing this guilt aside, she opens Charlotte’s letter.

My Dear Georgiana

Well it is a strange feeling, to be back in Willingden.  I am making my best effort to see it as my home, but alas I am missing Sanditon so much! Of course Sanditon is not my home, and somehow I feel that perhaps I do not truly belong anywhere.  I miss you terribly already.  I am still sad that I could not visit, but I must acknowledge that Tom’s business is of far greater importance than my selfish whims.  It is difficult to accept that I can no longer walk on the beach or partake of sea bathing and the other activities that were so delightful to me, or spend time with the people I have come to regard with much affection.

I want to speak plainly again about Sidney.  It pains me that you still distrust his desire to do better as your guardian.  I know you have resented his lack of guidance through your difficulties, but I consider his failure was the result of his own disappointment and heartbreak, which I truly believe has affected him over many years.  He is deeply concerned for your happiness but still confused as to how he can make amends.

When we were searching for you in London Sidney was beside himself with anxiety and fear for your safety.  I witnessed him opening his heart to your hurt.  He clearly wishes to earn your trust and esteem, and he deserves your consideration of his kindness since that terrible night.  Can you at least consider the possibility of reconciling your differences?   With what he has had to undertake following the tragic circumstances of the midsummer ball, he is suffering torment he does not deserve, but is determined to be the man that his family needs.  I cannot fault him for that, in fact he has my admiration, as he is sacrificing contentment in his own life for that of the family he loves.

I once doubted that Sidney cared for your happiness, but I discovered to my shame that my assumption could not have been further from the truth.  If you can think of him with some kindness I am sure you will come to develop affection for him.  He simply needs to know that you are willing.

In the meantime, I hope for an opportunity to see you again before too long.

Your affectionate friend,

Charlotte

Georgiana sits with the letter, seeing the similarity between Charlotte’s remarks about her guardian and his own words in trying to find common ground with her.  He wants to gain at least her trust, if not something warmer in their relationship.  There is also a clue to why he has engaged himself to the wealthy Mrs. Campion.  Perhaps he has no interest in her wealth after all, but needs to access it for his brother since the fire.  Is this the sacrifice Charlotte writes of?  As with her previous letter, there is much to consider.  In some strange way, without actually putting it into words, Charlotte has given her a sense of what Sidney must have to endure, day by day, trying to help his brash, incompetent brother.  Georgiana knows these feelings only too well; frustration, anger, resentment, and even fear of what might lie ahead. 

How does Charlotte see all this in him?  Sidney is not one to share his feelings, or to admit to being unsure of himself in meeting his obligations.  He must have done so, with Charlotte.  Why would he open up to her, when he holds others at arm’s length?  He must have been at ease with confiding in her.  Charlotte had implied a closeness developing between them before the ball but, believing he could not be trusted, Georgiana had been horrified to think her friend might be deceived by some tender words he did not really mean.  Oh! Is it even possible that he has not been playing with her feelings, but in fact returns those feelings after all?

Looking up from the letter, she thinks of her discussion with Sidney yesterday, and his sad face is suddenly before her.  She recalls his declaration that he would change the situation without a second thought.  That same sad expression had struck her when he had looked up to her window from the beach ... oh yes, she knows that sadness ... he is living his days denied what is most important to him ...

With an immediate flash of  awareness, Georgiana's animosity and bias begin to fall away, thoughts of incidents through the years rushing in to overwhelm her.  In the space of seconds, she sees the times they have argued, his kindness in not berating her for her reckless behaviour over Otis, the misunderstandings that came from their mutual awkwardness upon his appointment as her guardian, and even the times when they sat at table in the early days, the much younger Sidney patiently listening to her childish chatter and showing an interest in her daily activities. 

This man is no ogre, as she has chosen to believe in recent years.  He is as confused as she is, trying to make the best of his obligation to her and worried for her future happiness.  His mistake was in not talking to her of his uncertainties.  Her mistake was to judge him as a young girl would do, a young girl with no experience of the world he has tried to protect her from.  How dreadfully she has behaved towards him, resenting him and refusing to even look for goodness in him.  These feelings stirring in her – wanting to understand Sidney, to make amends, to find trust – are unexpected, but strong and compelling, and all since reading this letter.  Oh how much she owes to Charlotte!  

Her decision is made.  It is now up to Georgiana Lambe to make peace with Sidney Parker.  She must seek to reconcile.  He has already extended the olive branch.  It is her turn now.  She begins to think out a plan.

About an hour later, Georgiana goes to her desk, lifts the pad and retrieves the letter she has not yet sent to Charlotte.  Without hesitation, she tears it into tiny pieces.  She then heads hurriedly downstairs.

Hesitantly, Georgiana approaches Mrs Griffiths in the drawing room.

“Mrs Griffiths, please, could you spare a moment to speak with me?”

Mrs Griffiths is surprised as Georgiana never seeks her company.

“Of course,” she replies, appearing sceptical, and expecting trouble. She puts her book down in her lap as Georgiana sits tentatively beside her on the sofa.

“I wish to apologise to you Mrs Griffiths.”

“Whatever for, Georgiana?” she asks in confusion.

“For my dreadful behaviour over these past months,” Georgiana replies, twisting a handkerchief between her hands, “in fact, since we came here to Sanditon.”  She looks away from Mrs Griffiths, embarrassed. “I have been reflecting.  I find it difficult to believe I have been such a rude and obstreperous charge.  I know that is how you find me, as my guardian has told me so.  I have been so ... so ... childish and sulky!  You must have despaired of me!”

Mrs Griffiths is astonished.  She tries to compose her face, taking a moment before responding, “Thank you Georgiana.  I know it must have been very distressing for you at times.  I cannot blame you for wanting to leave Sanditon.  And now your closest friend has gone, it would be even more difficult.  You have had considerable changes in your life and it was not easy for you to understand why your guardian chose to bring you away, first from your homeland, and then from London.”

“But I know he was only trying to keep me safe, and make sure I was learning how to behave in polite society.  I have not made it easy for anyone.  I have treated everyone badly, even my dearest friend.  I wonder at Charlotte’s kindness in putting up with my behaviour.  And she went to such lengths to find me when I got into trouble.  She put her own life in danger!  It is only since she left Sanditon that I have taken the time to think about it and ... I am ashamed.”

She looks at the floor for a moment, before continuing, “And my poor guardian, always so irritated, I would not blame him if he wanted to strangle me!  But I knew he would not.  He is too much a gentleman.”

She looks up to Mrs Griffiths, as she continues, “I was aware of that you know.  I think it made me more foolhardy.  I wanted to vex him.  Poor Sidney!  Even he was intimidated at times, I think!” she says with a smirk.

“Indeed yes, you may be right,” Mrs Griffiths giggles awkwardly, and Georgiana joins her.

Suddenly serious again, Georgiana continues, “It was Charlotte who made me think on it you know.  She insisted Sidney was a good man who was just confused about how to be my guardian.   She said that he was in a state of severe anxiety when they were looking for me in London.”

“Miss Heywood is a very observant young lady,” Mrs Griffiths agrees, smiling kindly.

“Yes.  And you know, Sidney was so determined to get me away from that wretched horrible Howard man and his flunkeys!  He was so angry.  I think they were afraid of him.  He threatened them with the gallows!  Then he was so kind to me, and he did not once rebuke me for my foolishness.  I did not want to see how good he was, I wanted to blame him for the whole situation.  Now, I really wish to speak with him, to apologise, to right the wrongs I have subjected him to!”

“I am glad to hear you say that Georgiana!”

“I have no idea when I might see him again.  Do you think I should write?  To apologise and try to start afresh?” 

“That is a wonderful idea!  Miss Heywood is right; Mr Parker cares a great deal about you.  Indeed they both do.  You are very fortunate to have two people so concerned about you.  Difficult as it may have been to understand, your happiness has always been very important to them – and your safety of course.”

“The scales have fallen from my eyes.  I knew Charlotte was the greatest friend I could possibly need or want but I judged Sidney most unfairly.”

“Then yes, my dear, do write to him.  He will be relieved that you wish to make things better.”

“But can you please forgive me the trouble and worry I caused you?”

“Of course!”

“Thank you Mrs Griffiths.”  She holds out her hands, Mrs. Griffiths takes them and they move together towards each other.

“My pleasure my dear!”  Mrs Griffiths replies, a beaming smile on her face, such as Georgiana has never witnessed before.

Georgiana places her hand on her heart.  “As you are my witness, I hereby promise to be a much better person!” she declares.

Both women begin to laugh.

Mrs Griffiths becomes serious again, as she opens up just a little, “I know how loneliness feels, Georgiana.  If you ever need to talk, I can be an attentive listener, and I am happy to be your friend.”

Chapter Text

Mary has not benefited from her rest. Having taken to bed she is feeling worse and is now showing definite signs of illness.  Tom arrives home to find her very sick, and immediately sends for Dr Fuchs, who determines that it is vital to reduce her high fever. He instructs Tom to keep visitors away but to ensure there is always someone present to see to her needs. He leaves with a promise to call again early in the morning.

Through most of the night Tom struggles ineffectually, trying to help her. He speaks to her of his confusion over her anger with him and apologises – for what he does not know, but he begs her forgiveness.  Terrified now, realising that Mary is very ill, he pleads with her to stay with him, telling her he cannot cope without her as she is his strength.  In her fevered state, he has no idea if she has heard him, but his constant rambling is the only way he knows, to control his alarm over her condition.  Exhausted by morning, Tom complains that Sidney is not in Sanditon, although what he would ask Sidney to do is not evident to others present.  While he contemplates his unhappy position, Dr Fuchs is ushered into the room.

Reviewing Mary’s condition Dr Fuchs sees immediately that Tom is not capable of continuing with Mary’s care.  He asks, “Where is Fräulein Heywood? She would be most helpful here.”

“‘Miss Heywood has returned to her home in Willingden,” Tom replies.

“Oh that is regrettable!” the doctor exclaims, “She would be of great assistance ministering to Frau Parker, a most intelligent young lady with remarkable skills.”

Tom grasps greedily at this idea and upon the doctor’s departure he moves immediately to his desk. Scrawling a very hasty note, he orders it be taken to Willingden immediately by his own carriage, telling the driver to wait for Charlotte’s reply.  He then writes to Diana and Arthur that Mary has taken ill, but requests that they keep this news from Sidney for the time being. He has changed his mind about needing Sidney in Sanditon, believing Charlotte will surely come, and thus relieve him and make Sidney’s presence unnecessary at the worksite. This would suit him better in any case, as while he is perfectly content to allow Sidney to keep Lady Denham appeased, he still has the conviction that this is his project, and it always will be, thus he should be at the site as much as possible.  He is already annoyed at Sidney’s delay in setting a wedding date, eager as he is to gain access to the wealth he anticipates with Eliza’s entry into the family. He knows that with news of Mary’s illness Sidney would abandon talk of weddings and return immediately for her sake.  No, it would not do.

*  *  *

Newlyweds Lord and Lady Babington arrive at Sanditon House.  Lady Denham is delighted to see them, but complains in her usual, cantankerous way, that they could have given advance warning of their visit.  They explain that they intend to stay a while, with perhaps one or two trips to London, before taking an extended wedding tour in a few weeks’ time.  Discussion then turns to Sanditon.

Lady Denham informs them she has a letter from Lady Worcester, advising of her intention to visit on Sunday to discuss a business proposition with her, and her desire to speak also with Lord Babington at his earliest possible convenience.  As they discuss the possible reasons for Lady Worcester’s interest, the conversation moves to the disaster Tom Parker has created, and the action required to find a solution.  Word of the fire has spread and rumours abound in London concerning Tom Parker’s debts, so it seems Lady Susan is keen to learn the truth of it.  When Babington mentions Lady Susan’s affection for Charlotte, Lady Denham is puzzled at such a connection.  Babington explains their meeting at the London Ball, and Lady Susan’s subsequent attendance at the regatta.

“It’s fortunate for Sanditon that Sidney hadn’t already proposed to Miss Heywood before the fire,” Babington says, “or he wouldn’t have been able to put himself into the position to gain access to Mrs. Campion’s money.  No doubt that will help his brother substantially.” 

Lady Denham jerks her head at his statement, appearing very confused.  “What are you talking about?” she asks sharply. 

Babington explains, “Sidney Parker is in love with Miss Heywood.  I am sure of it.” 

“And she with him,” Esther adds.

Lady Denham looks back and forth between them and her eyebrows shoot up as she is clearly surprised.

“Yes,” continues Babington, “I am convinced Sidney was on the point of proposing marriage on the balcony, when Edward burst into the ball with his frenzied nonsense.  When we took him away to the London coach I returned without Sidney.  He’d asked me to advise Miss Heywood that he would return as soon as he had ensured Edward was on the coach.  As he was returning he noticed the fire and the rest of the evening obviously played out very differently from what he had planned.”

“It should have been the happiest of evenings for him and Charlotte,” Esther says, her sadness evident in her face.

Babington continues, “Mrs Campion would be exultant as he had declined her invitation to return with her to London after the regatta.  It was obvious she was making eyes at him that day, and now, we may be mistaken, but it seems to us his desperation to get his brother out of some sort of trouble has played into her hands.”

“How can you be so convinced of this?” Lady Denham questions sharply, “It all sounds like poppycock to me!”

“Crowe called on us yesterday," Babington replies.  "He’s certain that Sidney Parker would never propose to Eliza Campion. I’d believed that Miss Heywood must have rejected Sidney’s offer but Crowe believes he must have been coerced into this undertaking with the widow.  He believes something is not right with this engagement, and I’m inclined to agree.  For many years Sidney’s been against forming an attachment with anyone, but at the time of the regatta and particularly the Midsummer Ball there was something different about him, something I’d not seen since we were young men; he was happy, and quite smitten I believe, with Miss Heywood.  Crowe has also come to this conclusion.  As I said before, I’m certain Sidney was interrupted, proposing at the ball.”

“And I am certain that Charlotte was carrying heartache while we were busy making preparations for the wedding,” Esther adds, “I queried, but she stoically insisted that there was nothing troubling her.  I did not believe it for one minute.  She was sad, Aunt, and that is not Charlotte’s usual way.”

“I had a similar experience with Sidney,” Babington says, “I had the impression that he was holding back on some disappointment as he tried to be supportive of me at the wedding.  I asked if all was well, and mentioned he had appeared unhappy for a number of days but he just shook his head and said, 'Let’s get on with this wedding of yours’.  I am sure now after speaking with Crowe, that I was correct.”

“So he is not happily engaged to this Mrs Campion then?” Lady Denham asks, perturbed by this news.

“I think she’d be the last person he would choose to plan his future with,” Babington replies. “I believe he’s a devastated man.”

“Shattered again,” Esther says, a touch of melancholy in her voice.

“Yes,” Babbers adds, “after all these years I think he’s at last found love but it’s been denied him – and we are thinking somehow it is due to this fire.  The irony is he’s forced to settle for marriage with the very woman who deserted him in the first place.  I cannot understand, Tom Parker must have incurred some enormous debt and this fire has prevented him from carrying on further work.  If Crowe is right, he must owe a great deal of money –”

“He does,” Lady Denham interrupts harshly, “he is a fool.  He has incurred expenses beyond his means, and did not insure the work.  He owes eighty thousand pounds, most of it to me!”

Esther gasps and Babington chokes on his reply, “Wh-What? Eighty thousand?”

"You heard correctly," she replies bitterly.

"But ... why did you not say?"

"What - show all of Sanditon what a fool I was to trust Tom Parker?  Why would I submit to the humiliation?"

"We would have respected your confidence."

"Well, nevertheless, Tom Parker deserves to be in debtor’s prison.  If not for his brother I would have demanded it.  Sidney Parker went to London and returned with a solution.  He can meet the whole amount of his brother’s debt, as he will marry into more wealth than Tom Parker can imagine.”

“Oh ... and Tom Parker is in blissful ignorance of the anguish he’s caused for two of the people closest to him,” Babington exclaims, shaking his head in disgust.

“The two people who have in fact been dragging him out of trouble,” Esther says firmly, “The success of the regatta was down to Charlotte.”

“Yes, and he’s relied on Sidney for help with finance more times than I care to count,” Babington further adds.  “Sidney and Miss Heywood have done more than anyone else to save not only Tom, but the whole Sanditon project ... and now ... well it's obvious now ... they’ve sacrificed their own happiness to save everyone from ruination and poverty.”

Lady Denham is horrified.  She has been given reason to think differently on marriage being a business arrangement; she can see how happy Esther is and wants the same for Charlotte as she has come to like her immensely.  She has also come to believe that Sidney is worthy of a fine match, as he has done so much to solve his brother’s failures and restore her confidence in her investment.  Babington’s words now force her to think on where the project would have been without Charlotte’s and Sidney’s efforts.

“How do you know all this?” she asks accusingly, “why did you not tell me before now?”

“There has been no opportunity,” Babington replies with a grin, “you may not have noticed, but we have been away?”

“This is a strange turn of events,” Lady Denham exclaims, “I had no idea!”

“No of course not, but I think it proper that we inform you.  Sidney is working hard to make things right with the restoration; the workers have accepted him, rather than Tom Parker, as the leader of the project, and why would they not be happy to accept him over his incompetent brother?  Things are much more settled now.  Indeed, if it’s true that he wanted to marry Charlotte then Sidney’s sacrifice has ensured their livelihoods, and through it all they are none the wiser.  Of course there is no saying what might change once Mrs Campion sees her money being channelled into Sanditon. She might wish to be heavily involved ... ”

“Oh!  Indeed!” Lady Denham exclaims, alert now to the possibility of being challenged on her status as the Great Lady of Sanditon.  So ... I have misjudged Sidney Parker.  Tom Parker could not hold a candle to his brother when it comes to business sense!  But this is not acceptable. This must change.  I will retract my threat of debtor’s prison.  I will allow Tom Parker six months.  That will buy his brother time to find funds.  Heaven only knows why Mr Sidney would feel this obligation to his useless brother.  But I do admire his concern for Mary Parker and the children.  We must find a way to get the money that does not involve him marrying that wealthy London woman.  We do not want her parading into Sanditon and expecting us to bow down to her.”

“I don’t know what we can do,” Babington says doubtfully, “there isn’t any other individual I know of who could fully finance it.  That’s obviously why Sidney went to her in the end – Crowe believes he was desperate.  Perhaps a syndicate ...”

“‘What of Miss Lambe?" Lady Babington asks, "She has 100,000 pounds to put into whatever scheme she might find appealing.”

“No,” Babington replies, “Sidney is very protective of her and would not contemplate using her wealth for any investment involving Tom, after all that’s happened.  He would believe he owes that to her father.”

“Well, we will have to start looking – immediately,” Lady Denham states emphatically, “I believe now that this must be the reason Lady Worcester wishes to visit, so we will accommodate her here for as long as necessary.  Miss Heywood deserves better!  Hmm ... Mr Sidney has risen substantially in my esteem.  I should very much like to see him content also.  I believe he chose well with Miss Heywood.  That would have been a most suitable match.”

“Their attachment to each other was obvious at the midsummer ball,” says Babington, “he watched her all night and she was looking to him whenever possible.”

“I must admit,” says Lady Denham, “I was too engrossed in what transpired between the two of you to pay much mind to anything going on with Miss Heywood and Mr Sidney.  But his proposal was interrupted by Edward, you say?”

“Yes.”

“Such a pity!  Evidently Mr Sidney was also of the opinion that one should marry for love over wealth.  Hmm, an interrupted proposal ... Oh dear, I feel responsible for that!”

“How so Aunt?” Esther asks.

“I asked Mr Sidney to put Edward onto the coach to London.”

“No, Aunt, it was not your fault, that was entirely Edward’s doing.”

“Yes,” adds Babington, “and the fire stopped Sidney getting back to finish the proposal anyway.”

Lady Denham suddenly remembers her brief conversation with Charlotte at the Babington wedding, and almost shouts in embarrassment, “Oh! What I said to that poor young woman at your wedding!  That we would see her walk down the aisle very soon!  And I asked Sidney Parker what he thought of that!  Oh!”  She puts her hand to her forehead dramatically, closing her eyes.

Babington, frowning, shares a concerned look with Esther before he asks, “How did he respond?”

“Oh I don’t know,” she replies as she flaps her hands about, “I was called away!”

An awkward silence falls, finally broken by Esther.  “I must write to Charlotte, to try to cheer her.”

“Yes,” says Lady Denham, looking pained, “such a sensible kind of girl.  What can I do? ... I must ... if only ... oh, Sidney Parker ...”

Talking to herself, Lady Denham hurries from the room, leaving the couple to share a confused look.

“Our friends need our help, Babington,” Esther says with a sigh.

“Yes.  We must see tomorrow if this is what Lady Worcester is coming for, and I shall make for London first light on Monday.  What we can do, I have yet to fathom.  I’ll speak with Crowe again before visiting Sidney.”

“And I shall delay writing to Charlotte until you have spoken with them.  This is for Charlotte.  She has been a good friend to me and I will be that for her.  If her happiness is with Sidney Parker then we will find a way.”

“I hope so, my love.  I surely hope so.  For both their sakes."

“We cannot fail, Babington.  We must not fail.”

Chapter Text

Charlotte is avoiding the rest of the family, having left the house early to work in the vegetable gardens. After yesterday’s incident on the bridge she is trying to keep busy, hoping that with hands in the soil, feeling close to the earth, she might find a little peace.  Her return to the house yesterday had gone almost unnoticed, the family all busy with their usual tasks.  She had retired to her room, her mother readily accepting her explanation that she needed rest, citing lingering fatigue from the journey two days before.  Unfortunately, after an initial feeling that she had finally left much heartache behind, the usual restless night has taken its toll and she hopes that today’s effort, getting back to the raw elements of nature, will help her heart to heal.

The Parker carriage arrives at the Heywood residence late in the morning, the driver delivering the note from Tom and advising Mrs. Heywood that he has been instructed to wait for Miss Heywood’s reply.  Concerned for the long journey the driver has to make back to Sanditon, Mrs Heywood sends Alison with the note, to find Charlotte, and to urge her to return to the house quickly to compose a reply for Mr Parker.

Upon reading the scribbled message from Tom, Charlotte is alarmed by his urgent request that she return to Sanditon immediately in the carriage.  Mary must indeed be very ill.  Forgetting her resolution to refrain from even thinking of the Parkers, she carelessly throws down her trowel, hastily wipes her muddied hands across her apron, gathers her skirts and runs to the house. Telling her mother it’s a matter of urgency that she go to help Mary, she hastily changes her attire for travel, packs a few belongings and, ignoring objections and questions from her family, gives all those present a quick embrace before rushing to the carriage.  She accepts a hastily prepared basket of food thrust at her, as she nods to the driver and scrambles in.

It is only as she settles into the journey that Charlotte is abruptly reminded of the short, disappointing correspondence she received from Mary. Her thoughts rush to the possibility that Mary might not welcome her at Trafalgar House. Will she be the Mary that Charlotte has thought of as a true friend, or will there be a barrier to that friendship?  With some trepidation Charlotte ponders the possibilities.  She briefly wonders if it is too late to turn back.  If Mary is as ill as Tom’s note indicates, perhaps she will be too feverish to know or care who is in the room and Charlotte can tend to her needs without awkwardness between them. Anxiety weighs heavily upon her as she anticipates the task of helping her friend through this illness, and being there for the family in this time of trouble.

Another thought comes to mind – where is Sidney now? Hopefully he has returned to London, but what if he is residing with the family in Trafalgar House?  Surely he will be elsewhere if there is sickness in the home? She considers the awkwardness that will exist if she is forced to spend time in Sidney’s presence.  

Taking a firm attitude, Charlotte decides she must help her friend.  She knows that Tom will be of little assistance in Mary’s treatment and recovery, and the children will need her, even if Mary prefers that others attend her in her room. If Sidney happens to be in the vicinity, she will simply have to avoid him as much as possible. Once Mary is sufficiently recovered, Charlotte will leave for Willingden again at the first opportunity.  

*  *  *

Making use of the sunny day, Georgiana makes her way to Trafalgar House after lunch, to visit Mary Parker.  She wants to speak with her about Charlotte, and inquire as to how soon Sidney might return to Sanditon.  Since her surprisingly optimistic conversation with Mrs. Griffiths, Georgiana feels a pressing need to make amends and forge a way forward in harmony with her guardian. She is also convinced now that he is unhappily betrothed, so is determined to find a means of assisting him to break his engagement with the widow Campion, and thus pave the way for his and Charlotte’s future happiness.  With no particular scheme in mind, she is aware of the difficulties that Sidney will face, if he can even be convinced by her argument that there has to be a better solution.

Tom is blustering about in the house, and as she is invited in, he launches into his sorry tale of Mary’s illness, and his hope that Charlotte will return to assist.  Surprised by the news, and realising Tom’s anxious state, Georgiana immediately offers to help with the children. Tom is grateful beyond words.  A note is sent to Mrs Griffiths explaining Georgiana’s decision and she happily goes to spend time with the children, anticipating Charlotte’s surprise when she arrives at Trafalgar House to find her undertaking such a task for the first time.

*  *  *

Charlotte arrives at Trafalgar House late in the afternoon.  Tom, visibly relieved, greets her loudly and thanks her for returning so swiftly.  She accepts his welcome quietly, wondering at his noticeable exuberance in the face of the urgency he had implied in his note concerning Mary’s illness.  When he states that she can now go to Mary while he attends to business matters, her resentment flares, and she replies that she must take some time to settle into her room after the long journey, before attending to Mary.  He appears a little startled at her reluctance to follow his suggestion, but after a brief pause, agrees grudgingly that she might take a short rest after her journey.

Surprised to find Georgiana at Trafalgar House, Charlotte is further taken aback when her friend welcomes her with a joyful embrace, telling her that she owes her a great deal, and will speak more of it as soon as they are able to find the time.  She explains that she has offered to assist with the children, and this will allow Charlotte to concentrate on tending Mary.  Charlotte is indeed surprised by her news, and happy to see her so determined to help.  It is with both relief and delight that the two friends are able to communicate as if they have not been apart.

The children are excited to have Charlotte back in their home, all speaking at once until Charlotte has to remind them that their mother is ill and must have quiet in the house.  Henry has thrown his arms round her skirt, grasping her knee, and is finding it difficult to let go, which brings a delighted laugh from Charlotte.

“Did Unca Sidney go and get you?” Henry asks, looking admiringly up to her face.

“No. I came in the Parker carriage,” Charlotte replies, confused by his question.  Her eyes seek Tom’s as she feels a lurch in her stomach.

“Sidney is in London Henry, you know this!” Tom says, ruffling the little boy’s hair.

Ignoring his father, Henry declares, “I knew he would bwing you back!”

Feeling awkward now, Charlotte does not know what to say, but Henry, still holding fast to her leg, continues on, “I do not want you to ever go away again. You must! Stay! Here!”

Charlotte chuckles now, and happy to leave Uncle Sidney out of their conversation, replies, “I will be here when you wake up in the morning Henry!”

“Pwomise?” he asks, still seeking assurance that she will not disappear.

“I promise,” she says, “Look, here is my bag. You may help to unpack my belongings if you wish!”

“Yes!  Come on Charlotte!” he says, still clutching tightly to her dress, scrambling awkwardly up the stairs and chattering excitedly, his face aglow with happiness.

*  *  *

Early next morning Dr Fuchs is examining Mary, while Tom and Charlotte wait in the drawing room.  Pacing the floor, Tom finds it difficult to concentrate, his mutterings unintelligible to her.

“Charlotte,” he says, turning to her suddenly, “We will not tell Sidney that Mary is ill.  We must leave him in London, to proceed with his wedding plans.  The sooner these things are arranged, the better for all.”

Charlotte turns away so he will not see the hurt in her face, but Tom is oblivious anyway. 

“But what if she becomes worse, Tom?” Charlotte asks, “Sidney would be most unhappy if something dreadful should happen and he is not at least informed ...”

Tom is spared the need to reply as there is a commotion at the door, with Arthur and Diana now rushing into the room.  Having travelled to Sanditon immediately upon receipt of Tom’s letter and stayed overnight in the usual rented cottage, they are now anxious to visit with Mary, Diana particularly concerned with what remedies might be used for her swift recovery.

“Oh Miss Heywood,” Diana exclaims, flapping her hands, “it is wonderful to see you here.  We have been so worried about our dear Mary.  Your presence here will be so good for her recovery!  Do you not think so Arthur?”

“Yes,” Arthur agrees, “Oh Miss Heywood, thank you so much for coming all the way back!”

Dr Fuchs comes out of Mary’s room, and seeing the Parker siblings, looks startled.

“Dr Fuchs! How good of you to come,” exclaims Diana, “How is our patient?”

Dr Fuchs fixes his eyes on Arthur, pushing his spectacles up his nose as he says firmly, “It is imperative that for now Frau Parker does not have unnecessary visitors.  I must insist Herr Parker that you and your sister do not visit with her yet.  Tomorrow perhaps, ja, but it must not be until her fever has reduced!”

Arthur and Diana respond together, “Yes, yes of course, whatever you say Doctor Fuchs.”

Looking now to Tom, Dr Fuchs asks, “Herr Sidney Parker is in London?”

“Yes, Doctor,” Tom replies, “He has important business to attend to there.”

“You must warn him that your wife is gravely ill,” the doctor insists, “he must be informed, in case your wife should take a turn for the worse.”

Tom, now alarmed, mutters, “Oh, but –”

“Mistake me not, Herr Parker,” Dr Fuchs interrupts loudly, “your wife is very ill.  She has been otherwise healthy so I am hoping that she will make a full recovery, but it is most uncertain at this stage.  Time will tell us.  We must be patient but vigilant.”

“Of course,” Tom replies, looking chastened.

“I must see other patients now,” Dr Fuchs continues, “I will return this evening.  Follow my instructions to the letter, bitte.”  He turns to Charlotte, “Ah Fräulein Heywood, it is most pleasing that you are here!  I shall leave the patient’s care in your capable hands!”

“Of course Dr Fuchs,” Charlotte replies, while Tom looks disgruntled that the doctor has turned his attention away from him.

“Thank you Dr Fuchs,” he says, “I will see you out.”

“Nein Herr Parker,” he replies, “I will see myself out.  Danke, und wiedersehen!”

As Dr Fuchs leaves, Charlotte’s immediate concern is his instruction that Sidney be advised of Mary’s condition.  She asks Tom if he would like her to pen the urgent letter to Sidney.

“No, no Charlotte,” he replies, “we must not disturb Sidney.  He has much to arrange with Mrs. Campion.”

“But Dr Fuchs said –”   

Tom talks over her, “We cannot interrupt his plans!  I am quite certain Dr Fuchs is exaggerating the severity of the illness.  We will continue to care for Mary and she will recover quickly, you will see!  By tomorrow she will be perfectly on the mend, as sure as eggs are eggs.”

Tom scurries out of the room.  Arthur and Diana appear startled, while Charlotte’s brow is deeply furrowed with her displeasure, his parting expression reminding her of her very sad departure just days ago.  She is appalled at his apparent lack of care for anyone’s situation other than his own.

“It would seem, Miss Heywood,” Arthur mutters worriedly, “that my brother is up to his usual strategy of ignoring the obvious!”

“I suppose,” she replies, “he wants to believe Mary will not be ill for much longer.”

“Your presence here will make the difference Miss Heywood!” Diana declares.

“Oh,” Charlotte replies hastily, thinking of Mary’s letter and wishing to end the conversation, “would that I could be so influential Miss Parker!  I must see to Mary’s needs now. Please excuse me!”

“Thank you Miss Heywood,” Arthur says, “Diana and I will follow the doctor’s instruction that we do not see Mary for now.  Please give her our fond regards.”

Charlotte nods her agreement and hurries from the room.

*  *  *

Lady Denham greets the day with much trepidation.  While she is perfectly comfortable with her position in Sanditon, the expected arrival of such a highly regarded member of the Ton is disconcerting to her.  She insists that all staff be available to welcome the visitor and spends much of the morning shouting orders at them.  By the time Lady Susan’s carriage pulls along the gravel driveway of Sanditon House she is finally convinced that all is as well prepared as possible.

Lady Susan immediately notices the long row of servants waiting to attend her, and is amused by all this fuss.  Although she would prefer to arrive without fanfare, she is conscious of the fact that this elderly lady will be of major importance in finding a solution for Charlotte and Sidney to have their happiness.  She will not risk spoiling that by appearing insensible to any measure put in place for her comfort.  She will accept all efforts with good grace and endeavour to form a firm friendship with this most influential member of  Sanditon's polite society.

As Lady Denham has invited her to stay at her leisure, Susan has brought many trunks and personal items.  The servants scurry to attend to these as Babington moves to assist her down from the carriage.  Lady Denham greets her warmly and invites her to join her with Esther and Babington for tea.

No sooner has the refreshment been brought, Susan begins to speak of her reason for her visit.  She  is delighted that Babington and Esther are present as this means they can have a very detailed conversation before arranging a formal meeting with others that she wishes to include in an investment group.  She asks Babington to give any pertinent information that he may have concerning Sidney’s situation.

“I believe, as does Mr Crowe, that he is trapped into an agreement he feels is the only answer to his brother’s debt,” Babington explains, “Crowe actually came upon him in London a couple of days ago, and was shocked by his state of mind.  As to details of his arrangement with Mrs Campion, I found it particularly strange that he engaged himself to her as I had been certain of his intention to propose to Miss Heywood."

“I too was surprised – and disconcerted – by this news,” Susan replies, “I have visited him at his London residence.  You are correct in your thinking.  He has explained the arrangement to me.  He is distraught.”

“Oh, I knew it!” Esther declares, “Charlotte would not discuss it with me but I have been convinced that they are both unhappy as a result of what has transpired since the fire!”

“Well, it seems we have much work to do,” Susan says, “I am willing to invest a substantial amount, and I have already spoken with Sidney’s brother Arthur and sister Diana, who are eager to assist with whatever they can contribute.  Diana was surprised to learn that Sidney does not wish to marry Mrs. Campion, but Arthur has suspected for some time that Sidney might be simply fulfilling a perceived obligation to the family.  They are aware that this is confidential at this stage.  I have also visited Lord Grasmere and Mr Harvey who are more than willing to invest as they see the potential for profit, provided it is under Sidney’s direction.  They have both stipulated that they want nothing to do with any project managed by Tom Parker.”

“Very wise!” Lady Denham declares, nodding her head vigourously.

“We have discussed this at length also,” Babington says, “and Esther and I can also contribute a substantial amount.  Crowe is also working to free up some funds he has otherwise invested, so there should be quite a sum we can add to ease the burden.  We should all be able to advise firm amounts by Tuesday morning.”

“Excellent,” Susan exclaims, “this means we are on our way.  It will still fall short by quite a sum as yet, but rather than joining together in a small partnership, what do you think of a group forming a syndicate, or a company to achieve our aim?”

“That would be ideal,” Babington replies, “as we can then prove that the risk will be spread and this should make investment an attractive proposition for potential contributors.”

“Good,” Susan says, “There should be several smaller investors happy to contribute, but there may be at least one or two large investors still required and I am seeking assistance on that already. Well then, at this point, I think we can send out some letters to invite them to a meeting here on Thursday morning.  What say you, are you agreeable to this Lady Denham?”

“Yes,” Lady Denham responds quickly, “and the sooner this is done, the better!”

Chapter Text

Sidney is sitting, staring into space, chin in one hand and elbow resting on the chair arm. A cup of tea, untouched, is cold on the table beside him.  He has been back in London for five days and not yet had even an inclination to visit Eliza.  He is unconcerned about the fact that she will berate him, especially should she find out how long he has been back at Bedford Place.  He has barely spared her a thought. Since his conversation with Lady Susan - days ago now - his head is full of what he should be sharing with Charlotte and the seemingly impossible task of changing the situation.

Small fragments of his conversation with Susan begin to battle for prominence in his mind, jumbling together, repeating, as if warring for some superiority in importance ...

          ... But you love Charlotte ... for my family’s sake ... I can find no other way ... paid my debts ... My dear man what are you doing?/in my heart and my head, night and day ... I am honour bound ... never betray your confidence/most exciting cricket match I’ve ever played ... I do not want to marry Mrs Campion.  I must ... alternative solution/knowing how to stop the bleeding ... Do you love Eliza Campion? ... But how is Thomas Parker’s debt your responsibility?’... never stop thinking about her/paid my debts ... I love Charlotte ... We have to find it/want so badly to make it right ... She is suffering enough ... I love Charlotte ...

Sidney puts his head in his hands, trying to make sense of his whirling thoughts, fraught with the avalanche of jumbled utterances from Friday...

           ...anxious for your family, I realise that. But ... /lie awake nights....  Huh! Honour! Forgive me, but I must disagree/soothing the old man’s fears ... cannot help but love her/I pace the floor ... she is prepared to let me go ... so calm, so caring/in my heart and my head night and day ... cannot hurt her further/I am at the end of my wits ... utterly and completely ... She failed to honour her promise to you years ago! ... victim of a broken engagement/running the length of that pitch ... You owe this woman nothing!/do not deserve her affection or sympathy ... I love Charlotte ... There has to be another way. We must find it./never stop thinking about her ... Do you love Eliza Campion?/soothing the old man’s fears ... cannot be that you will not marry Charlotte/want so badly to make it right ... love her even more – if that is even possible/do not despair I will leave no stone unturned ... utterly and completely ... I love Charlotte ...

Raising his head again, Sidney stares vacantly ahead, his hands flopping again onto the arms of his chair.  He has not heard the doorbell, so does not see Babington and Crowe hovering at the door, watching him.  After a few minutes, Babington decides to make their presence known.

“A penny for your thoughts old friend?”

“Uh!”  Sidney’s head jerks towards the voice, and he springs up from his chair, his expression changing to one of delight as he exclaims, “Babington!  You’re back!  And Crowe!” 

Sidney and Babington hug briefly, as Crowe waves and heads for the drinks cabinet.  Sidney takes a casual grip of his friend’s shoulder, as he inquires, “But where is your lovely wife?”

“Oh,” Babington replies, “visiting Lady D at present.  I can only visit you today as Esther has insisted I return to Sanditon tonight!  I am of the mind that perhaps she misses me!”

Both men chuckle, before Sidney checks his timepiece, “Well then, we’d best not lose track of time.  You enjoyed your few days away then?”

“Very much so,” is the happy response, “and now we’ve returned we are content to stay at Sanditon for a short spell.  We will return to London in about a fortnight’s time.”

Sidney moves to join Crowe pouring drinks, as he continues the conversation, “I must visit when you are both at home.  Are you planning to stay permanently in London or the country home?”

“London for a while, then we might disappear eventually for some peace and quiet.”

“Well my friend,” Sidney says, “it was most certainly a wedding day to remember.”  He hands Babington a drink, places a hand on his shoulder and raises his glass, “I am delighted to see you so happy.  You have what you deserve - at last!”

Sitting back for casual conversation, Sidney is happy to be distracted from the thoughts that have been tormenting him.  As always, he enjoys the exchange with Babington, and they discuss the wedding a little more, Babington giggling over the fact that Esther’s great aunt insists on taking credit for bringing them together.  Sidney then looks seriously at Crowe and haltingly begins an apology.

“Crowe ... I must ask you to forgive my lapse in manners –“

“Not necessary Parker,” Crowe says quickly, cutting him off, “we all have our less than perfect days.”

Grateful, Sidney nods, and takes a sip of his drink, remaining quiet while his two friends indulge in a little humorous banter.

All too soon, however, there is a lull in the conversation, and Babington notices his friend's smile has faded.

“And what’s had you so Friday-faced, my friend?” Babington asks.

Sidney looks up from his glass, frowning.  “What?”

“When we arrived, you were miles away,” he replies.  He waits, but Sidney looks back at his glass without responding.

“You are fooling no-one,” Babington continues, “how are you faring, really, with Miss Heywood gone, and your marriage imminent?”

Looking past Babington’s shoulder, Sidney says solemnly, “I cannot speak of it.”

“Perhaps you need to speak of it,” Babington suggests gently.

They wait for Sidney to open up, but he remains silent.

“We are old friends,” Babington continues, “You know very well that we would not betray your confidence.”

Sidney glances at Babington, takes a deep breath, looks down and decides to share some of his thoughts.

“I – um, I rode out there, you know,” he says, swirling the drink in his glass.

“Out where?” asks Babington.

“To the cliff road.  To intercept the carriage,” he replies, looking up to meet his friend’s gaze, “I just couldn’t let her go without a proper parting.”  Glancing down at his glass, he twists the stem round in his fingers. “I had to tell her ...”

Noticing that their friend suddenly appears distracted, the other two men wait patiently, Babington eventually nudging him to continue, “Tell her what?”

“That I love her.”  Sidney looks down to the floor, while Babington tries to hide his surprise, that Sidney would feel he must speak so to Miss Heywood when he is engaged to another.  “But I couldn’t say the words,” Sidney continues, “I ... it all came out wrong.”  He looks directly up at Babington, as his voice drops low, “I told her I do not love Eliza.”

Crowe looks knowingly at Babington, who sits up straight in his chair as he asks, “How did she respond to that?”

“She rebuked me.  Told me I must not speak like that.  Said I must try to make Mrs Campion happy,” he replies, still staring at his friend.

“She didn’t try to influence you then, against Mrs Campion?” Crowe asks.

“No,” Sidney mutters, shaking his head a little.  His voice disappointed, he adds, “not at all.”

Babington frowns, then realising something he raises his eyebrows in surprise. “You were hoping she would?” he asks.

Sidney whispers, “Yes,” and then, his voice a little louder, he goes on, “I am ashamed to admit it, but ... hah, I knew she would not, but I was looking for the slightest excuse I suppose ...”

“She is a remarkable young woman,” Crowe observes with genuine respect.

“Yes,” Sidney replies, staring into space, “yes ... and once she said that,” he adds, switching his gaze between his friends, “I couldn’t tell her.  I could not tell her that I love her.  Yet again, I handled it badly.  I watched her go out of my life.  And all the joy that could have been mine went with her.”

Babington and Crowe are staring at him, not sure how to respond.

Sidney is almost whispering again now, “I could not move.  I stood ... powerless to do anything ... just watching ... until the carriage disappeared.  I couldn’t even mount my horse.  I finally walked with it all the way into town.”

“And how are you now?” Babington asks worriedly.

“Wretched ... hopeless ... empty,” Sidney replies despondently.  His words come slowly, as he continues to describe the ache, “I had thought, for all these years, that I knew what heartbreak was ... but I did not.  I am now intimately acquainted with it.”

“I am sorry Sidney,” Babington says quietly.

“I am a fool, Babington,” Sidney says, “I finally found happiness, truly joyful, all-consuming happiness.  But it’s been wrenched from my grasp.  My own doing.  For so long I failed to realise what my feelings were.  All those weeks when I could not work out what I wanted.  I should have followed your example.”

“We are all different Sidney.  We do not all seek out love in the same way.”

“But you treated Esther with respect.  I treated Charlotte appallingly.  Why did I deliberately sabotage our friendship?  What was I trying to prove?  If I could have shown her from the beginning how much I cared for her ... we might be husband and wife by now ... and I would not have this abominable stone of obligation hanging round my neck!”  Sidney reaches to his cravat, squirming against it, clutching and tugging at it with his fingers.  “It chokes me.  It drags me down ... like a drowning man.  I’d not have been able to do this if I was already married or engaged to Charlotte.  My brother could not have expected it of me!” 

His friends do not miss the bitterness in his tone.   Babington takes a moment to think through what he wants to say, the true purpose of their visit now, and begins to put forward an idea that Sidney will hopefully find acceptable.

“Sidney,” he says, eager to sound convincing, “you deserve happiness with the woman you love, and it’s clear that Miss Heywood also loves you.  You have many friends who wish to do something – to help you.” 

Sidney’s head jerks up, looking to Babington in surprise, realising he must have spoken with Susan.  He is quite confused now, as he had thought when speaking with her that she would be pursuing other avenues, not speaking with Babington and Crowe.  He has already told her he does not wish to beg any assistance from them.

“This is why we have come to speak with you now.  Esther and I have been discussing the situation and we want to help, as do Lady Susan Worcester, your sister and your brother Arthur.  Crowe is also seeking to free up some funds,” he adds, looking to Crowe who nods in agreement.  “Even Lady D seems to have had a change of heart.” 

“What?” Sidney asks sharply, looking confused and disapproving.

“We know it is a vast amount that you need to cover your brother’s debt, but we are determined to work together to try to find it.  We would like to create a group, a syndicate perhaps, or even a new company, consolidating our resources to meet the debt.  Now, we know you would not take her money, but could you at least borrow from Miss Lambe, perhaps?”

“No! Definitely not!  That is out of the question! And I have no wish to impose upon my friends for a resolution to Tom’s folly.  The debt is far too high and the risk is too great.  Have you been speaking with Lady Susan then?”

“I have. She is visiting with Lady Denham at Sanditon House.  Crowe and I shared some thoughts this morning.  We need to approach –”

Sidney cuts him short, explaining further, “Look, Susan Worcester can confirm this.  I’ve already knocked on every door but to no avail.  Obviously word had already spread about the fire – it was as if they were all expecting me and they were already versed in what to say to deny me even a hearing.”

There is a pause, Sidney staring into space, visibly shaken.  Susan has achieved nothing.  She is now seeking help from the very people he has avoided burdening with these problems.  He should have known.  He should not have dared to hope. 

Babbers looks at Crowe uncertainly, wondering if he should speak to Sidney of what he has heard.  When Crowe nods, he decides he must.

“Sidney,” he says hesitantly, “there’s something we think you should know.”

Chapter Text

Babington appears hesitant, but at Sidney’s bewildered expression he leans forward and begins to tell what he knows. He starts in slowly, dithering a little, fearing Sidney will not welcome this news.

“I have been wondering whether I should speak of this," he says, "but we both consider you should be made aware, indeed you have a right to this information.”

“What information?” Sidney asks, anxious for Babington to get to the point.

“I believe your lack of success in obtaining investors was in large part down to the efforts of a certain widow getting to the financiers first. I have it on good authority she was very busy that same week, visiting the banks and business houses, offering incentives to dissuade –”

“What?” Sidney interrupts sharply, “She did what?”  He shakes his head, not wanting to believe Eliza would stoop to such tactics, “Surely not? I cannot believe ...” he breaks off suddenly, then unable to hide his incredulity, poses the question with annoyance, “Where did you hear this?  Who is your source?”

“Augusta.”

“Your sister?” Sidney questions, disbelief in his tone.

“Yes,” Babington replies.  He is not surprised by Sidney's scepticism.

“Humph,” Sidney grunts dismissively.

“Sidney," Babington says earnestly, "I beg you, do not underestimate my sister. Your betrothed was actually boasting of her success amongst her friends at tea, and Augusta pretended to be otherwise distracted but in fact paid much attention.  She was concerned about you.  She came especially to see me this morning, wishing to alert you to the situation.”

Sidney is shocked.  Drawing his hand across his facial stubble, he tries to recover his wits, still unwilling to be persuaded of Eliza’s duplicity. 

“Forgive me, I spoke out of turn. I’m grateful to Augusta, truly. But ... Eliza would surely not have such influence!”

“Money talks my friend,” Babington replies, “a simple suggestion that one might consider withdrawing funds? Perhaps you might question her Sidney, see if she can deny it?”

Sidney stares at him, but then appears to recall something.  “Oh, no, wait, now that I consider ... she was so sure when I returned to her house ...” he looks up, talking as if to the ceiling, “Ah-h-h! I have been taken for a gullible, wide-eyed fool!” he declares loudly.

He jumps up from his chair and begins to pace the room as he describes what transpired following the disaster of the midsummer ball.

“After the fire Lady D was furious.  She demanded her investment be paid back immediately and threatened Tom with debtor’s prison if he couldn’t comply. Charlotte spoke up, making her see reason, and she allowed me one week to find the funds.  I had rejections from all the banks. I then approached business acquaintances, also without any joy. When I went to Eliza it was merely to explain our situation and ask if she could see her way clear to helping us out, but she sent me away.”

“Oh?” Crowe asks.

“Well, I admit we’d not parted on the best terms after the regatta,” Sidney explains, “but I was desperate enough to hope she might assist us with a loan for even part of the debt. When I visited her again it was in fact at her summons –”

“Her summons?” Babington interrupts in surprise.  Crowe’s face is showing a knowing expression, as he slowly shakes his head.

“Yes,” Sidney replies as he turns to face Babbers.  He moves his hands in agitation as he continues, “Her note said that she had considered our situation and that she had a business proposition. I was desperate by then. I had only one day left of the week Lady D had allowed before she would have Tom in debtor’s prison.  I truly hoped Eliza was willing to offer a loan to assist us out of the mess, perhaps a kind deed for old times’ sake. But ...” he stops speaking, as if caught up in a new thought.

“But?” asks Babington, drawing his attention back to his account of what had occurred.

“The visit was in fact a disaster,” he explains, “she told me she would provide – fully – whatever funds were needed to get Tom out of trouble but only if I agreed to marry her.”

“What?  So it is true – you did not propose this marriage?”

“No!” Sidney exclaims explosively, “Why would I do that? I love Charlotte! I didn’t even want to be in London! This whole state of affairs had torn me away from the most important thing I’d ever wanted to do in my entire life!  My head was filled with Charlotte. I just wanted to go back to her. My original proposal had been rudely interrupted by Edward, and then, there was the fire ... I wanted to propose properly and I could barely wait to get back to do exactly that! No matter what dire straits Tom was in, I knew Charlotte was aware of my intentions and she’d already proven her loyalty to the Parker family.  She’d be willing to assist us in whatever way possible. She was ... oh-h-h-h!” he groans as he closes his eyes, his face contorted with frustration and disbelief.

Crowe catches Babington’s eye, again with his knowing expression.

“So, Crowe was right!” Babington exclaims.

“I insisted you would never marry Mrs Campion willingly,” Crowe says to Sidney, “but something must have happened to force you to agree to it!”

“Well, I’m sorry Crowe,” Babington says apologetically, “but you know how you can be, I thought it was the drink talking, and that you were just wishing it were so.”  He turns to Sidney as he continues, “I did experience some doubt as I was certain you planned to propose at the ball, but I thought Miss Heywood must have declined your proposal.  When I did venture to ask, your response made me feel I was meddling, so I drew back, even though I was very concerned for you.  But this situation ... surely there’s a better solution Sidney?  It cannot be hopeless?”

“But I believe it is,” Sidney replies, “I’ve allowed myself to be trapped into an engagement I do not want, but this is even worse than merely a trap. If what you tell me is true, Eliza Campion has deceived me in the worst possible way. I’d hoped to marry for love and I’d found that with Charlotte.  I do not love Eliza, and now, knowing this, I cannot ever love her! Nor can I trust or respect her! How do I tolerate this?” he asks, closing is eyes in desperation. “How can I enter into this marriage and retain my sanity?”

“We will find a way to negate the arrangement ...” Crowe says firmly.  He nods at Babington again, as if giving permission to confide more information.

Babbers explains to Sidney that since Lady Susan’s arrival at Sanditon House, there have been continuing conversations, with a view to finding alternative funds. Sidney is sceptical, reminding his friend that he has already been through the torment of rejection by the banks in London, but Babington insists that a list of potential investors has been drawn up, with a total of £45,000 almost certainly available. With Crowe already taking steps to free up funds and promises made for more, a sum of £25,000 is all they should still need to meet the full debt. He adds that firm figures are being made available this morning to Lady Susan from most of the potential investors.

Sidney is grateful for this but says that it is still too much, as he is now certain that Eliza Campion will have made sure this amount is not achievable.  Babington asks again if Sidney can see his way clear to borrowing against Miss Lambe’s wealth as a quick interim solution, to which Sidney responds with an adamant “No!”

Sidney sighs, and then says in a more subdued tone, his voice revealing a rueful acceptance of his circumstances, “No. I appreciate your concern, and I know Lady Susan is also intent on finding a different solution, but even if I should no longer need Eliza’s wealth, I’ve committed to this marriage.  Although I’ve been duped, I cannot break the engagement.  As Charlotte said, I must accept the situation.  Huh, it is after all of my own making.”

“No,” Babington says, shaking his head.

“What?”

“It’s of your brother’s making.”

Sidney looks at him, then at Crowe, but says nothing.  Then after a moment's thought he gives a slight nod. Babington rises, ready to take his leave, and Crowe moves to join him.

“We wish you well old friend," Babington says.  He touches Sidney's shoulder gently.  "This is not over. We will keep trying.  We must!”

With a deep sense of foreboding after what he has just learned, Sidney holds his friend’s gaze a moment, before looking down forlornly to his feet.

“I cannot see a way,” he says glumly, “I think it’s probably hopeless, but thank you, both of you, for trying.  I am grateful.”

Chapter Text

Dear Sidney

No doubt you will be surprised to receive this letter from me.  It is not easy for me to write.  There is much I wish to say but it is imperative that I catch the outgoing post today, so I will try to be succinct. Indeed some of what I must speak with you about cannot be done by letter so I am impatient to see you in person at the earliest opportunity. I will endeavour to explain.

To begin, I must beg most humbly for your forgiveness. Since the recent disastrous events in Sanditon and Charlotte’s return to Willingden I have had much time for reflection. I find I do not think well of myself.  I must admit that since your appointment as my guardian I have resisted your many efforts to ensure my safety, and acceptance in this society which is so strange to me.  I now realise that you were thrown into a position you had no wish for, and my resentment has caused you much unpleasantness. I now also appreciate that you took the right decision in bringing me to Sanditon.  I was not at all prepared for the kind of society that I was already subjected to during the brief period I was in London.  I am ashamed now, to admit that my failure to find kindness in your intentions was deliberate.  For this deplorable behaviour, I am sorry.

I come now to the hostility I subjected you to with my conduct in Sanditon. There is much for which I owe you an explanation. I must clear the air.

On the day Otis came to Sanditon, I told Mrs Griffiths that Charlotte and I would be attending a picnic with Mr and Mrs Parker. Charlotte had no part in this deceit; indeed she was shocked at the ease with which I was able to tell such an untruth. As I led her to where Otis was waiting, she was unaware of my scheming, and complained that we were going to a place too far removed.  When she saw Otis, Charlotte was more shocked and displeased than you can possibly imagine, and was not friendly to him. Until that moment, she had not known of his existence. We told her that we no longer needed her as we wanted to be alone, but she refused to leave my side, for two reasons; she had only just met him, and she unintentionally let it slip that she had given her word to you that she would keep an eye on me.

I reacted very poorly to this news.  I accused her of being your spy; your friend, not mine.  She insisted she must ensure that I was safe. She asked many questions of Otis, and I warned him to be careful how he answered as she would report it back to my guardian. I was too selfish and petulant to care about the awkward position I had put her in. I told her you had turned a blind eye to slavery making your fortune in the sugar trade, and implied you were prejudiced against Otis because of the colour of his skin.  She did not believe me. She argued this could not be so, and insisted you would have had my best interests at heart when you forbade our seeing each other, but Otis told her she did not know you as well as she thought. Together, we had ambushed her, leaving her confounded and upset. I felt no shame for this trickery, and made no effort to understand her dismay at having been deceived.

When you came upon us at the coach station I am sure she was not deliberately mocking you, she knew that we were sad on parting, and was merely trying to entertain us and make the best of the situation, as Charlotte does.  It is only now when I reflect upon it that I realise what a terribly anxious and distressing day I had caused her, only to have it made even worse for her when she realised your disappointment, as you witnessed her attempt to amuse us. I sometimes wonder why she is prepared to continue to be my friend.

Why am I writing of this to you? Because I know you were angry with Charlotte that day, and I believe this incident badly affected the friendship that was developing between you. I do not know how things stood between you when she left for Willingden, she told me she could not speak of it, but advised me to try to cooperate with you as you are a good, compassionate person whom I have judged too harshly.  I know that she came to regard you most highly, but if you still harbour any of that anger towards her I hope that my account of the day will relieve you of it. 

I am aware that you and Charlotte had a very public and distressing argument about what had taken place, and you both made assumptions that were the result of my behaviour, assumptions that were hurtful to you both. You told her she could not be trusted. In truth, she had done everything in her power that day to ensure that I was safe, proper conduct was followed and my reputation was unharmed. She had also observed Otis closely, and had decided that he was indeed in love with me, and I with him. I had realised she liked you and I tried to destroy the friendship you and she had established; this of course I had no right to do. Her kindness and loyalty I did not deserve. Please Sidney, do not think poorly of her for her actions that day.  The fault was entirely mine. Her opinion that you were prejudiced against Otis and that you had been happy to profit from slavery were influenced directly by our insistence that this was so. I deserved your wrath. Charlotte did not.

For the events that followed the cricket match, again the fault was mine. I wish to speak of it with you, but for now I can only say that I do not know how I can ever repay my debt, to you, my caring and somewhat bewildered guardian, and to Charlotte, my dearest and most loyal friend, for saving me from a life of despair. Charlotte also told me of what you did for Otis. I am ashamed to admit that I have misjudged you. Please forgive me.

I must speak of the matter which is of most concern to me now.  There is a situation causing me great distress; I cannot sleep at night for thinking on it as I cannot find a solution. I must speak with you about it, so I implore you to come urgently to Sanditon.  It cannot be discussed by letter, and I cannot speak of it with any other person.

Sidney, I could not blame you if you thought this yet another selfish demand from a spoiled heiress seeking to vex you, but that could not be further from the truth.  It is a humble request from someone desperate to help a dear friend. I cannot emphasise its importance enough. I would make the journey to London to see you if I had the courage, but the events of that disastrous day of the cricket match are still so vivid in my memory that I am too afraid to attempt it, even if someone might be prepared to accompany me.

I am indeed in your debt, and I can only apologise for inconveniencing you yet again, but please come to Sanditon as quickly as possible. I sincerely hope also that you will find me a better person.

Your humble ward,

Georgiana

 PS – I assume that you are aware Mrs Mary Parker has been gravely ill?  We have been most worried, especially as she has been too sick to receive any visitors.  I have just learned that the fever has finally broken.  There is still a way to go, but Dr Fuchs has declared only an hour ago that she may now have callers. Visits must be kept short until she regains her strength.  Mr Parker will be most relieved – at times he has appeared to me to be worried out of his mind.

Chapter Text

Last night, after hours of muddled thinking Sidney had succumbed to deep sleep, from sheer exhaustion.  Now, sitting at his desk at Bedford Place he is determined to find a way to confront Eliza without coming away the loser.  He is angry.  He wants desperately to put conditions on this marriage contract, and revisit the terms of their agreement before seeing Eliza again.  He needs to arm himself with something – but what?  When he was informed of her actions by Babington he was appalled by her selfishness, and her audacity to believe she was entitled to win him by such duplicitous means, when she knew his heart was with another.  He is certain that she would be elated she has won him away; her possession now.  He is no longer under any illusion that Eliza loves him.  This only adds to his anger.  So much heartbreak, deception and betrayal, and the one who suffers most is innocent of it all.  Charlotte.  Dearest Charlotte.

After his friends had departed, Sidney had sat again for some time, the conversation regarding the finances blurring in his mind, the shock of Eliza’s deception robbing him of clear thought.  Fighting for control, his confusion slowly clearing and anger building, he was struck by a sudden need to confront those who had brought this blight upon his life.  Tom.  Eliza.  A few months ago, he would have been barging in, throwing his weight around and letting them know exactly what he thought of their actions.  But no, this is not the way.  He must gather his thoughts and put his anger to proper use.  So much has happened that has hurt Charlotte.   That was, and is now, his foremost concern and knowing Eliza’s character as he now does, he is well aware of her ability to harm Charlotte if she perceives her as a threat to her own selfish desires.  While he might rage at the idea that he has been fooled so easily, he must tread lightly for her sake.  This will be a better way.  He knows that his new approach is the result of her gentle influence.  She has made him a better man.  His hand finds its way to his pocket, and he takes comfort in the touch of the letter fragment there.   He will come through this.  No matter the outcome, he will do this for Charlotte. 

Today, with the shock of Babington’s news now dulled and his thoughts much clearer, he is seething at the thought that he might have avoided this whole ordeal and in fact could have brought Eliza to task, to answer for her behaviour, had he only been aware of her plan.  He would never have entered into this agreement had he known, even if Tom had been marched off to prison!  He finds it surprising that Eliza has gone to such extreme measures to entrap him, without considering that he may react very badly upon discovering the extent of her deception. She must have been very sure that he would not raise objections, with her saving his brother from ruin.  With a bitter laugh he considers how he could make this very difficult for her after their marriage, with her wealth then under his control. He shakes his head, not proud of this thought – in fact he has no wish to ever take more from her than is necessary to meet Tom’s debt.  He is still firm in his resolve to do no more than that. Never again will he bow to Tom’s manipulation.

The knowledge Sidney has gained from Babington becomes more significant, the more he thinks on it.  Looking back to the day that, bewildered and sick with misery, he had agreed to this detestable deal, most of what was said escapes his recall, but he does remember trying during the entire conversation to believe that Eliza really did still love him, and her desperate demand was indeed motivated by that love. He had made every effort to accept that they could at least live with respect and friendship. Determined to help Tom’s family from ruin he had allowed Eliza the upper hand, control he would never relinquish so easily in his usual business negotiations.  His concern for them has clouded his judgment and now he must find a way to rectify that.

Sidney’s thinking has shifted dramatically from when he spoke with Susan of his commitment to his agreement with Eliza.  She had scoffed at the idea that he should feel honour bound, by reminding him of Eliza’s desertion years ago, and now with the revelation of her duplicity in securing his agreement to marry, he finds the very idea of honouring this agreement laughable. Even the word ‘agreement’ does not ring true.  This is not an agreement.  This is coercion.  This is deception.  His promise to Charlotte that he would try to make Eliza happy has become less of a possibility with each passing day, and he has now decided he cannot continue with such pretence.  He is certain that Charlotte would understand that it is a promise he now cannot keep.

Susan has given him a glimmer of hope, much as he has tried, for fear of failure, to ignore any signs that there might be a way clear of this marriage.  The last thing he can endure is another hope shattered, and he cannot abide the thought that he might hurt Charlotte even more. Still, Susan has opened the door, if merely a crack, and he cannot help but speculate just a little on how he might legally find a way out of this absurd engagement and somehow avoid a life of wretchedness in what can only be a sham of a marriage.  

He thinks long and hard on the fact that once an agreement to marry is in place, it is almost impossible to dissolve, unless there is undeniable proof of one partner engaging in fraudulent or treacherous behaviour.  Even then, innocent party or not, the scandal that follows is ruinous.  One’s business – indeed one’s whole life can change for the worse, with no hope of recovery.  There is one thing that he must ensure; one thing far more important than his own future happiness. No matter what happens, whether or not he can somehow manage to find a way to extricate himself from this contract, knowing now what Eliza is capable of he must take every measure to ensure that Charlotte does not fall victim to a severe and spiteful retaliation.  The sense of foreboding he had known in discussion with Babington and Crowe is back.  If Charlotte should suffer he could not bear it.

Thinking again of his conversation with Susan, he unlocks the drawer where he has kept his copy of the contract drawn up by Eliza’s legal representative. He is eager to read it through again, hoping to find a legitimate reason to have it reviewed.  Is it too much to hope for, that there might be a way out of it altogether?  As he sits back at his desk, he is distracted by Jenkins bringing in two letters which have just arrived from Sanditon.

Sidney is not surprised that one of the letters is from Lady Denham, but is puzzled to see that the other is addressed to him in Georgiana’s hand.  The thickness of Georgiana’s correspondence has him intrigued, but he decides to deal with Lady Denham’s missive first, as he is actually feeling a little alarmed that Georgiana would have written at such length. His ward has never written him more than a brief note or two in the past.  He knows she blames him for her loss of Charlotte’s companionship in Sanditon, so perhaps she is venting her anger.  He will see soon enough.

The news from Lady Denham allows him a modicum of relief, advising him of her decision to permit a further six months for her debt to be met.  This brief change for the better will allow him to continue to use his own funds to meet the most pressing debts. He can do this if he lives frugally.  He feels his anger ease, and relaxes into a brief smile.  He will not have to touch Eliza’s money.

Putting Lady Denham’s news aside, he breaks the seal on the longer letter, and is surprised to find its opening lines to be an apology.  His first thought is that Georgiana is working some trickery, perhaps with the intention of gaining his approval for some scheme she knows he will frown upon. That her letter continues in apologetic vein is astonishing to him.  Much intrigued, he reads on, to Georgiana’s account of the day of her visit from Otis.  Their accusations, and poor opinions that persuaded Charlotte to think badly of him bring a rush of feelings, unsettling him greatly.  Although he and Charlotte had moved past the anger and mistrust, he clearly recalls his own regrettable behaviour and scathing words of judgement that she did not deserve.  He is gripped by shame and wishes desperately that he could speak with her, to beg her forgiveness for his appalling accusations.

Sidney is immersed in the letter when Eliza visits, coming silently into the room, having told the servants she would find her own way as she wishes to surprise him.  She is happy to see him finally back from Sanditon, but annoyed that he has not called on her as she had demanded in her note. Caught up in Georgiana’s news Sidney has failed to hear her arrival so does not look up.  She watches silently, suspicious as to what so clearly has his singular attention.  At this point he is reading through Georgiana’s description of events leading to the argument in the street.  He stares at the page as he says sadly, “Oh Charlotte ... what have we done to you?”

Eliza stiffens, pursing her lips, not happy hearing his almost-whispered thoughts about that village girl. 

The genuine apology in Georgiana's writing surprises Sidney, as he finds between the lines both warmth and affection he had long ago given up wishing for.  Reading on he is surprised by her request that he travel to Sanditon to assist a friend, and thinking aloud again he says, “Georgiana, what have you got yourself entangled with now? Who is this mystery friend?”

Eliza stands perfectly still, waiting, and watching the changes of expression on Sidney’s face.  When he reaches the end of the letter, he is shocked by the post-script advising him of Mary’s illness, and is immediately angry with Tom for failing to let him know.

“What?” he exclaims as he pulls himself up straight in the chair. “Tom!”

He leaps up, to prepare to go directly to Sanditon.  As he moves away from his desk he realises with unwelcome surprise that Eliza is in the room. 

“Ah!  Eliza!” he exclaims, looking coldly at her. “Forgive my not greeting you,” he says abruptly, “I am quite distracted by a letter from my ward.”

Eliza is unsettled by his harsh tone and scowling face, but endeavours to gloss over it with her own style of chatter, “Obviously!  So, what is in this letter?  Good news I hope?”  She moves towards him, reaching to take the letter from his hands.

“No, not good news at all,” he replies.  Keeping the letter firmly from her grasp he folds it, tucking it into his waistcoat pocket and allowing his hand to linger over it, “I must travel to Sanditon immediately.” 

“But have you not just returned? You have not yet read my request that you visit me?” she asks, annoyed that he has neglected to welcome her and is more interested in his own plans to leave.

“I have many items of correspondence to deal with here, as you can see,” he responds, waving a hand towards a number of documents on his desk and unashamedly circumventing her question, "I have not had time to read them all.  These must wait, however, as I must leave urgently.”

“Oh, of course, give me a little time to prepare and I shall accompany you.”

“No!” he says sharply.

“No?  I beg your pardon Sidney?” she questions, her own voice responding to the intensity in his.  He immediately inhales deeply, attempting to remain calm.

“Forgive me Eliza, I do not mean to offend, but there is no time for leisurely travel; I repeat, these are urgent matters.  Time is of the essence.  I cannot wait for a carriage, I must ride my horse.  There is something I wish to discuss with you actually, concerning our situation, but it will have to wait, as this is more pressing.”

“Our situation?  What do you mean Sidney?  Our situation?” she asks, her voice rising.  She is well aware from his attitude that this will be something unpleasant.

“There is no time now, we must discuss it upon my return,” he states in a curt tone.

“Oh must we?” she replies haughtily, “So if this is more important than our situation then you need not hurry back!”

Sidney watches her spin away from him, noticing her petulant expression.  He is still feeling sickened by what Babington has told him, and is not inclined to humour her sulkiness. Foremost in his mind is the sadness he has caused Charlotte with his decision to marry this woman, and the certainty that it could have been avoided if he had only known of her perfidious machinations.  For now, visiting Sanditon must be his priority.  He will make his best effort to conceal his anger from Eliza, and discuss her actions and their consequences for him and the Parkers all in good time.  He has become aware of her determination to win at all costs, and must think hard before any conversation takes place.  Above all, he will avoid any mention of Charlotte.  Inhaling deeply he responds, “I will be gone as long as necessary to sort out an urgent matter for my ward, and to visit my sister-in-law who is very ill.” 

“Oh. I see ... and Miss Heywood?”

Sidney is taken aback that she mentions Charlotte – has she read his mind?  Surely she is not still concerned with his feelings toward Charlotte – she has won after all.  He has not mentioned Miss Heywood’s name in the weeks that have followed this engagement, and Eliza cannot be aware that they have spoken to each other since the Babington wedding, when they barely exchanged more than a few words.  He is genuinely puzzled by her question.

“What?”

“Well?” she asks, fixing him with a baleful stare.

“Miss Heywood?  I ... don’t ...?” he shakes his head in confusion. Without conscious thought, he moves his hand over the waistcoat pocket where his precious letter fragment resides, now joined by the frank confessions of his ward. He makes a supreme effort to maintain a calm demeanour.

“You will be seeing her too, of course?” she asks, determined to obtain an admission from him.

It is difficult now for Sidney to remain composed, almost smirking with the realisation that Eliza is indeed still insecure, fearing that he will see Charlotte in Sanditon.  Oh what a dramatic reaction there would be should she discover the reason for his rushed trip to Sanditon last week!  He chooses to avoid making a sarcastic retort, but his underlying irritation with her is evident as he informs her bluntly, “Miss Heywood is not in Sanditon.  She’s gone home to her family.”

Eliza looks disbelieving and turns sulkily to leave the room, with Sidney looking after her confused that she would believe he would tell her a falsehood about Miss Heywood’s whereabouts.  She stops suddenly, changes tack, turns back and tells him, “Oh, I was not serious Sidney, it must be just pre-wedding nerves!”  She gives her most demure smile.  “Do try to get back to London quickly to continue our plans and set the wedding date.”

He looks at her briefly, stony faced, without speaking, before taking some papers from his desk, including his copy of their contract, and placing them in a satchel, preparing to leave. 

Eliza is disconcerted; something is wrong but she cannot imagine what it might be.  He has ignored her letter and is now about to depart for Sanditon yet again!  She is not happy with his seemingly uncaring attitude, and with her mood swinging again she declares, “There are times I wonder if you really want this marriage, Sidney!”

He pauses, staring at her for a moment.  Want?  Want?  Oh it is tempting, but now is not the time to talk.  She can wait.  Ignoring the taunt, he responds brusquely, “Please excuse me.  I am obliged to resolve these Sanditon concerns as soon as possible.  I must prepare to leave.  I will have Jenkins show you out.”

As he heads for the stairs she watches him, pouting and frowning.  She must find a way to get things back under control.

Sidney calls back as he reaches the stairs, “Jenkins, please, Mrs Campion is leaving.”

“Of course, Sir.”

Sidney takes the stairs two at a time. 

Chapter Text

While Arthur and Diana are visiting with Mary, Charlotte makes her way along the beach, enjoying the wind in her hair and taking in the wonderful sparkle of sunlight on the water.  Even with all the turmoil of the past few weeks, she is happy to be back here, if only for a few more days, reassured of her strong friendship with Mary, and delighted with the changes she sees in Georgiana.  It has been a sheer pleasure joining with her at meal times and stealing a moment to help her now and then with the children at those times when Mary is sleeping.  This is the young woman she had known all along was hiding away behind a facade of anger and mistrust.  It is wonderful to see her embracing the life she has here in Sanditon, smiling, conversing, showing kindness to others and generally bringing a breath of fresh air to those around her.  Charlotte smiles at the thought of Sidney’s possible reaction when he next meets with this very different ward.

The only aspect of life at Trafalgar House that now worries Charlotte is Tom’s apparent desire to spend so much time away from home during the day, and to stay cloistered in the study during the evenings.  She is puzzled by how little time he spends with Mary and she has noticed stiffness in Mary, a harshness of tone when she speaks of him.  Charlotte is convinced all is not well, but does not think it her place to inquire as to what the problem might be.  She hopes that she is simply imagining coolness in their relationship.  Perhaps in time Mary will speak of her everyday concerns again in the way that she used to, but if she does not wish to confide in Charlotte then so be it.  For now, she will endeavour to enjoy what she has come to love so much, before the day comes that she must bid farewell to it all again.  At least this time she knows she and Mary will continue to share news and communicate as firm friends.

James Stringer is taking a walk on the beach, and although coming from behind her he recognises Charlotte and hurries forward to catch up with her. He is surprised and delighted to find she has returned.

“Miss Heywood!” he exclaims, “Upon my word! I did not expect to see you in Sanditon again so soon!  I hope you are well.”

“Oh, Mr Stringer!  Yes, I am quite well, thank you.  I have come to help at Trafalgar House,” she explains, “Mrs Parker is ill.”

They discuss Mary’s illness briefly, Charlotte explaining that her stay will be for several days, or at least till Mary has recovered enough to resume her daily responsibilities.  Stringer expresses his hope that Mrs Parker will recover quickly, and asks that she pass on his good wishes.  He also states that he hopes she can find time to walk again while in Sanditon and that he will watch out for her.  He accompanies her back to Trafalgar House, wishes her a good day, and moves away smiling, a spring in his step.

*  *  * 

Opening the door to find Mr Sidney Parker is the caller, Mrs Griffiths is surprised, and greets him rather nervously, “Mr Parker!”

“Good day, Mrs Griffiths, I trust you are well.  I have come to see Georgiana,” Sidney responds.

“Oh I am sorry, you have missed her,” she says, “she left early this morning for Trafalgar House.  I do not expect her return before sundown.”

“Really?” Sidney exclaims, with a lift of his eyebrows, “I don’t understand.”

“Georgiana has begun daily visits to Trafalgar House, to help with the children while Mrs Parker is ill,” she informs him, a touch of pride in her voice.

Sidney cannot hide his astonishment as he tries to picture his ward taking care of his nieces and nephew.  “She ... Wha-? ... I see ... how did this come about?”

“Oh she went to visit Mrs Parker, only to discover she is quite ill, so she has begun attending each day at the Parker residence to assist.”  Mrs Griffiths is enjoying imparting such news to Georgiana's guardian.

Sidney is reminded of Georgiana’s letter, and her advice of Mary’s illness.  He is confounded, however, that she would feel any obligation to assist the Parkers in such a way.

“She is doing this without any encouragement or coercion from others?” he asks in confusion.

“Oh yes!” is the excited reply from Mrs Griffiths, “Oh you would be very proud of her Mr Parker!  She has quite suddenly changed, a great deal, and we are actually enjoying each other’s company!  We have had a long discussion and Georgiana credits Miss Heywood with helping her to grow up and see reason.  When she returns from Trafalgar House each evening we enjoy a very pleasant conversation and she has some very amusing stories to tell of her time with the children.  It would seem Miss Heywood gave her quite a lecture before she left Sanditon, and has continued to advise her by letter.  You will find Georgiana much changed, much changed ...”

Sidney is now smiling, still in a state of near disbelief, as he says cheerfully, “Indeed?  Mind you, I should not be surprised, if Georgiana has finally listened to some advice from Miss Heywood.  She has a wise head on her young shoulders.”

“Oh yes, that is exactly what I told Georgiana,” Mrs Griffiths agrees, “and I believe Mr Tom Parker is delighted to have her working with the children.  This arrangement commenced only a few days ago, but she told me they all seem very excited about her continuing with it!  Indeed she was all excitement herself!”

Feeling light hearted and smiling broadly, Sidney replies, “Well then, I must go to my brother’s house and witness this development for myself!  I must say this news is most surprising!”

“There was none more surprised than I, Mr Parker,” she confides, “but there has been quite a remarkable change in her.   You will see this immediately. And I can only say this agreeable Georgiana is a joy to have in my home!”

“I am delighted to hear that,” Sidney declares, “till later then, Mrs Griffiths.  Good day.”

Sidney nods as she bobs a curtsy, and he strides away to see for himself just what is happening at Trafalgar House.

*  *  *

Charlotte has been sitting with Mary and has managed to convince her to eat a little food.  Although still very fatigued, Mary has been recovering well since her fever broke yesterday, and is happy to talk about the worksite, how things are being managed with the children and how helpful Georgiana has been.

Mary’s tearful expression of gratitude to Charlotte yesterday for her coming back so swiftly to care for the family has given Charlotte a new sense of purpose.  With the stumbling explanation of her seemingly indifferent letter, Mary now tries to elucidate - her reasons for its poor wording, and her regret that she had not simply written what she was truly feeling at the time.

“No sooner had I sent it in the post than I wanted to rush after the coach and take it back!” she says ruefully.

“It’s alright Mary – ”  Charlotte begins.

“No, it is not!” Mary interrupts, “I know it would have been upsetting for you to read such a cold letter from me, when we had developed such a warm friendship so quickly, one which means a great deal to me. You have no idea Charlotte, how much you have helped me to maintain my sanity in these past months.  I simply did not know how to write what was in my heart without hurting you further.  This sacrifice you have had to make for my family ... I am truly sorry.”    

“Thank you,” Charlotte says softly, “I realise how difficult it is for you also.”

For Charlotte, the great sadness she felt over Mary’s letter has lifted and she is relieved to know how much Mary is concerned for her as well as Sidney.  Mary confides now her anger with Tom for his lack of consideration for others, and his apparent belief that he is entitled to Sidney’s help to solve his disastrous financial mistakes.  She insists that she would understand if Charlotte should feel anger towards her husband, and thanks her sincerely for her forgiveness.

Leaning forward to grasp Charlotte’s hands, her voice husky with emotion Mary says softly, “I cannot thank you enough Charlotte, for coming back to take care of us. There is nobody I would trust more.  Oh, what this family has put you through!  I know how difficult it is for you and I wish with all my heart that I could have done something to help you and Sidney to not have to go through this sadness.  I feel so helpless.”

“Sidney is Tom’s most valuable support,” Charlotte replies, squeezing her friends hands gently.  He loves his family and it is of paramount importance to him that you come through this unscathed.  He is doing what he must.  I recognise that.  You must concentrate on recovering your strength.”

“You are so understanding, Charlotte.  I know how you and Sidney feel about each other.  I worry about him.  It was all looking so promising the evening of the ball ... I do not know how he will be with this marriage.  He will be tied to a woman he does not love, his situation made all the worse because he cannot be with the one he does love.  You, Charlotte.”

“Do not think of that Mary.  I know he will be a good husband to Mrs. Campion.  I wish them every happiness.”

“You are too good, Charlotte Heywood.  And Miss Lambe, I cannot tell you how surprised I am – she has been such a help with the children!  I am sure this is a result of her friendship with you.  I know Sidney has at times been at a loss to understand her.”

“She has found some purpose now.  I believe she is falling in love with the children!  And who would not?  I missed them already even in the couple of days I was not here.  Their drawings were delightful.”

“You know, Charlotte, it was Sidney’s suggestion that they write to you.”

“It was?”  Charlotte feels a thick drumming of her pulse, and warmth suffusing her cheeks.

“Yes.  I’ve no doubt he will inquire when he is next in Sanditon, as to whether you have replied.  I believe perhaps he finds that a way to at least keep some sort of connection with you.” 

“It is a pity that propriety’s demands prevent our staying in touch.  Just one letter would be enough to let him know I truly do wish him happiness.”

“He is most concerned for your happiness.”

Charlotte, not knowing how to respond, remains quiet, choosing to simply share a smile with Mary.  After a moment, she moves to pick up the tray.  “Well I shall just take these to the kitchen and come right back.  If you like I will read to you?”

“That would be lovely!”

“Choose a book then,” she says, taking a few from the shelf for Mary to look through the titles.  As Charlotte leaves the room with the tray, Mary watches her with a wistful expression.

*  *  *

Sidney arrives at Trafalgar House, striding purposefully into the drawing room at the precise moment that Charlotte, carrying Mary’s tea tray, enters by another door.  As their eyes meet, both stop short, gasping in astonishment.  Unable to look away, Sidney finally finds his voice.

“Charlotte!” he whispers, convinced he must be dreaming.

“Sidn ... Mr Parker ...” she manages to squeak out, staring at the man she has been unable to remove from her thoughts, wondering if this is a cruel hallucination.  Overcome with the shock of seeing him, still as a statue a mere few feet away, she struggles for breath, beginning to lose her balance, a loud thumping in her temples.  Tottering sideways she is aware only of strange pinpricks of light flashing round furiously in her head.  The tray slipping from her fingers, she tries desperately to hold it steady, failing to do so as the tea service slides off, hitting the floor with a deafening crash, tea dregs and shards of porcelain scattering about the room.  As Sidney rushes forward, Charlotte’s vision blurs, and she topples sideways losing her grip on the tray which clatters onto the floor.  As if from somewhere far away she hears an anxious voice calling her name.  Her last thoughts are of her failure to save Mary’s breaking china, as she feels a strong arm slide firmly beneath her back, and the world turns dark. 

Chapter Text

Startled into action by Charlotte’s sudden pallor and obvious loss of balance Sidney rushes forward, anxiously calling her name and reaching her in time to catch her before she falls to the floor.  Sweeping her up and stepping carefully to avoid slipping on porcelain splinters and messy tea residue, he slowly carries her across the room to place her gently on the sofa near the fireplace.  The harsh sounds of splintering china and the crash of the tea tray hitting the floor have brought Georgiana and a kitchen maid rushing into the room.

“Sidney!” shouts Georgiana, shocked to see him hovering over the sofa, “Oh!  Charlotte!”

“Georgiana,” Sidney exclaims, much alarmed, “she’s fainted!  We must ...” he says, anxiety and desperation in his voice, “Smelling salts ... quickly!”

Georgiana rushes to the drawer where the vinaigrette is kept, returning with the salts while the maid hurries about, trying to unobtrusively clear away the mess. Charlotte jerks to sudden attention, her nostrils irritated by the ammonia held under her nose by Georgiana.  She looks directly into Sidney’s eyes, so close to her face, and wonders distractedly why he is here.  He is holding her hands as he kneels beside the sofa, frowning with worry.  Charlotte looks vacantly at him, sighs and closes her eyes again. In her confused state she cannot speak. This is all too much.

Sidney continues to hold Charlotte’s hands.  He cannot stop staring at her, anxious for her health, surprised that she is here, unable to think what he might say or do to help her, but knowing he must endeavour to remain calm.  Charlotte meanwhile is trying to gather her thoughts.  She has wondered what she might do if they should meet but has not put any prudent thought into how she might behave, merely intending to avoid him. 

“Charlotte,” Sidney says quietly but with urgency, gently squeezing her hands, “Charlotte, are you alright?”

Keeping her eyes closed, Charlotte does not reply.  She is feeling nauseous and cannot put any thoughts into words.

“Charlotte! ... Charlotte ... she can’t hear me! Georgiana, what are we to do?” Sidney asks, still trying to quell his feeling of alarm.

Georgiana has brought a glass of water and a damp cloth.  Sidney takes the cloth and with tender care wipes the perspiration from Charlotte’s forehead, while Georgiana softly calls her name and lightly squeezes her shoulder, trying to get her to respond.

They both fuss over Charlotte until she slowly opens her eyes and begins to breathe in steady rhythm.  She is aware enough to realise that she must make the effort to appear well if she is to avoid being taken to lie on her bed with her friends calling for the doctor.

“Thank you,” she mumbles, bringing immediate relief to Sidney, “I am alright, truly I am.”

“Thank heavens,” Sidney says softly, “Charlotte, we must elevate your feet, keep them higher than your head!”  He raises her ankles as Georgiana places cushions under her lower legs and feet.

After several minutes of his staring into her eyes, frowning anxiously and rubbing her hands gently, she sits up cautiously to test if the dizziness should return.

“Are you alright Charlotte?  Would you like to take some water?” Sidney asks, nodding to the glass in Georgiana's hand.

“Thank you,” Charlotte whispers, as Sidney releases one of her hands.  She takes the glass and sips slowly.

“Perhaps, Sidney, you should leave the room,” Georgiana suggests quietly, “Charlotte may need to loosen her clothing a little, to become more comfortable.”

“Ah ... of course,” he replies reluctantly, glancing awkwardly between the two women, “well, alright then ...”

As Sidney draws away, releasing her hand, Charlotte finally tries to reassure them, saying, “No. There is no need for that Mr Parker.  I am alright.”  Georgiana frowns, but Charlotte hastily tries to convince her, “Truly, Georgiana, I am much better now.  Please stop fussing over me!  I must apologise for falling.  Oh, the china is broke ...” she adds sadly, watching the maid scooping the last of the shattered tea cups from the floor.

“Forget about the china!” Sidney says abruptly.  He moves back to her, pulling cushions behind her, hoping to help her feel more comfortable, “Porcelain is replaceable, you are not!”

Charlotte and Georgiana both look at him, surprised into silence by his tone.

“It’s your health we must attend to,” he continues more gently, smiling down at her and ignoring Georgiana, convinced she will be giving him a disapproving look.

Georgiana knows that although Charlotte’s fainting spell has clearly indicated the extent of her shock with this encounter, Sidney is also strongly affected by it.  She tries to ease any awkwardness between them by speaking, filling the sudden silence by thanking him for coming to visit today.

“It is good to see you here Sidney.  You received my letter then?”

Still holding his arm behind Charlotte’s back in support, he replies, “Yes.  I was somewhat disconcerted by your news.”  He looks up to his ward with a puzzled expression.

“I will explain when we have a moment,” she says, “I must speak with you in private, at your earliest convenience.”

“Of course, I am intrigued as you’ve spoken in riddles, but first things first; we must summon Dr Fuchs for Charlotte.”

“No!  No, please,” Charlotte interjects, “I have just had a shock, I am fatigued from lack of sleep, I have never fainted like this before,” she babbles, “I will be better soon, I will be able to rest more now as Mary is on the mend.  I believe I would benefit from some fresh air that is all.  Perhaps I should take a walk.”

Sidney slides his arm away from her back and places both hands on her upper arms, as he says softly but firmly, “Not yet Charlotte, you must allow yourself time to recover your balance first.”

“She has been working so hard Sidney,” Georgiana explains, “She came straight back to Trafalgar House as soon as she found out Mary was ill.  Your brother sent the carriage with a letter to Willingden.  She did not hesitate, she quickly packed some belongings and came back in the carriage, and she has been by Mary’s bedside almost every moment since.”

Sidney is looking at Charlotte in wonder.  He slides his hands down to grasp both of hers, nods his head, and then turns to Georgiana, “And Mrs Griffiths tells me you come each morning, to help the full day with the children,” he says.

“Yes,” she confirms, “but I have the easy tasks.  Charlotte has hardly slept over the past four days!”

Sidney looks at Georgiana disbelievingly, then back to Charlotte, his eyes soft and compassionate.  He can well imagine that she would have taken charge during the worst of Mary’s illness, a duty which should have been undertaken by Tom.  It strikes him suddenly that Georgiana, when writing to him, had deliberately omitted the information that Charlotte had returned to Trafalgar House, as to include it might mean risking his deciding to remain in London.  He wants to be irritated with her for that, but instead finds he is pleased, despite the reaction Charlotte has had to his appearance at the door.  Nevertheless, he makes a feeble attempt to scold Georgiana, giving her a sharp look before addressing Charlotte softly with his next words, “Forgive me Charlotte, had I known you would be here I’d have sent word, warning of my return.”

He gently releases her hands.  Charlotte feels the loss of connection, but tries to remain indifferent.

“It’s quite alright,” she replies, “You have every right to come whenever you please to see your family.”

“I must thank both of you,” he says, looking to each in turn, reaching one hand to Georgiana’s and moving the other to rest on Charlotte’s arm, “for helping the Parker family in this way.  And I am especially grateful that you advised me of Mary’s illness, Georgiana.”

“We are glad to be able to help, Sidney,” Georgiana replies, “Tom has been suffering anxiety of the worst kind!  We are more than willing.”

Sidney seriously doubts Toms’ anxiety is as much about Mary as it is about Sanditon, but he is realising the truth of Mrs Griffiths’ statements concerning the changes in Georgiana, and is both surprised and delighted by it.  At last he feels there is a chance for them to find mutual trust, and even affection.  He is happy that she has sought a conversation with him, but knows it must wait as he wants to be sure Charlotte is alright, and he is now anxious do what he came for – to visit his sister-in-law.

“I must see Mary,” he says.

“Yes, you must, of course,” Georgiana replies.

“I will come with you,” Charlotte says, moving to sit up.

“Are you sure you’re steady enough?” he asks, concern in his tone.

“Of course,” she says, “I am perfectly well.  I was simply startled to see you in the doorway.” 

“Forgive me.”

“Of course,” she replies softly, “a regrettable reaction I confess, but your appearance was unexpected.  I did not know you were in Sanditon Mr Parker.”

“Must you address me so Charlotte?” he asks, his expression sad.  Since entering the room, finding her here, the shock of it thrilling him, freezing him where he stood, unable to find words of greeting and trying to believe his eyes were not deceiving him, his thoughts have been thrown to the wind. And now, he is at war with himself.  Overcome with happiness just to be touching her and looking into her lovely eyes, he knows he must face the truth of her reaction to seeing him, needing his help but trying to be brave and addressing him so formally.

“Yes,” she replies, her brow furrowing slightly, “I believe I must.”

“Surely we are beyond such formality?” he asks, hope conflicting with his despair.

“It is for the best,” she replies, looking to the floor, “the situation being what it is.”

“Alright,” he replies on a sigh.  He wants to tell her how happy he is that she is here, to grip her hands firmly and tell her gently how sorry he is that he has caused her such pain, make amends somehow for what he knows must surely be the worst thing anyone has ever done to her.  Instead, he pushes these thoughts away, doing his best to comply with her wishes, and says simply, “Give me your hand.”

Charlotte, startled now, looks up at him but does not move.

“For stability, Charlotte, you may need someone to help with your balance,” he explains.

“Oh, yes, of course.  Thank you.”

Sidney helps her to stand, and they all make way to Mary’s room, Charlotte knowing that Mary will be pleasantly surprised to see this particular visitor. Charlotte wants to give the impression that all is well but her thoughts are in disarray.  Much like Sidney, she cannot deny her feelings. Overwhelmed by his nearness she is wishing for how things used to be, but knows it will only cause pain to continue with such thoughts. Breathing deeply she chooses to anticipate Mary’s reaction to Sidney’s visit, and takes heart in the knowledge that this visit from her brother-in-law will contribute in no small way to hastening Mary’s recovery.

Chapter Text

Sidney holds Charlotte’s arm as they move without haste, sliding his hand protectively to her upper back as they enter Mary’s room. Charlotte glances behind a little and, aware of his touch she looks up to meet his gaze but says nothing.  Sidney smiles hesitantly, apparently oblivious to the fact that the gentle pressure of his hand might make her feel uncomfortable, his first concern being for her recovery from the fainting spell.

Mary’s gasp of happy surprise breaks their absorption with one another. She is delighted to see Sidney and very quickly becomes involved in conversation with him about all that is of interest to the Parkers.  The only member of the family not mentioned is Tom, something Charlotte notices, feeling again that Tom is not well thought of by either his wife or his brother at this time. She understands this well, as she is still resentful towards Tom for the distress he has brought to all of them.  She is inclined to stay out of his way, simply to avoid his pointless, self-absorbed ramblings. 

Charlotte and Georgiana are happy to see Mary’s change in mood and they refrain from speaking too much, allowing Sidney to work his magic in bringing out Mary’s most cheerful smile.  Much to Sidney’s relief, Mary also appears to have no interest in asking after Eliza.  He is sure that this is deliberate on her part, and is grateful for her apparent understanding that he would not wish to speak of Eliza in Charlotte’s presence.

After about fifteen minutes they seem to have exhausted their discussion and Sidney notices that Mary is tiring.  He suggests that she rest while he and Georgiana go to the drawing room, to catch up on matters he must see to as her guardian.  Georgiana is eager to do so.  As they leave the room Sidney looks for a long moment across to Charlotte, but she does not look up. Certain that she is deliberately avoiding his attempt to catch her eye he leaves the room reluctantly, flagging with disappointment. 

Charlotte makes herself busy seeing to Mary’s needs again, hoping she will heed Sidney’s advice and settle to rest, or even sleep.  Mary, however, is not inclined to let this opportunity slip by, to state again her disappointment for Sidney and Charlotte.  Rather than try to prevent it, Charlotte allows Mary’s words to wash over her.

“You know, Charlotte, Sidney feels nothing for Eliza.  He is bound to her because of Tom’s mistakes.  It is so unfair.  He has been miserable without you my dear.”

Tears spring unwanted to Charlotte’s eyes, and she drops her head to hide her reaction from Mary. Her friend, however, is sympathetic to her feelings, and admonishes herself silently for her lack of delicacy.

“Oh, dear Charlotte, I am sorry, I did not think!  I would never upset you!  I just wanted you to know how highly he regards you,” she exclaims.

“It’s quite alright, Mary, “Charlotte replies quietly, “I am happy, really, that Sidney still thinks so kindly of me.” 

Her own tears welling up, Mary holds out her hands toward Charlotte, seeking connection, as she mutters again, “I am so sorry.”

They clasp hands tightly as Charlotte declares, “Well, are we not the pair of silly cry babies!”

The two women share a rueful little giggle, before moving on to a less emotional topic of discussion.  The previous plan for a book reading is quite forgotten.

*  *  *

They have barely set foot in the drawing room when Georgiana rounds on Sidney.

“Why are you marrying Eliza Campion?  The truth, please Sidney,” she demands.

He takes a deep breath, and knowing it is now time for honesty with her, he replies, “Alright, I will tell you.  But this is not public knowledge in Sanditon, and I’d prefer it be kept that way, or it may prove to be for naught.”

“Of course, as you wish.”

“I must keep Tom out of debtor’s prison, and his family out of the poor house,” he says abruptly.

“That is it?” she asks, confused.

“Yes.  It sounds so simple, does it not?  And yet it’s a situation that has changed my life forever.”

“What?  Why is this your obligation?  Is Tom Parker so useless?” she exclaims, angry with what she is hearing.

“Well,” he says, trying to damp down his own anger and not speak badly of his brother, “I don’t suppose you remember the state I was in ten years ago, when I arrived at your father’s plantation in Antigua?”

Georgiana shakes her head slightly, as she replies, “I did not see you arrive.  You did not come out from your room for weeks.”

“No, I was not at all well for some time.  I was young and foolish, Georgiana.  I had behaved badly and got myself into severe financial straits.  After Eliza Campion threw me over, I was a mess of a man.  Tom eventually intervened, paid my debts and got me on board a ship to Antigua, where I must confess I did not improve my situation.  Your father rescued me.  He saved my life, and gave me a fresh start.  It’s thanks to both these men that I am now successful in business.”

“Did you not repay the debt to your brother?”

“Yes, years ago, but he now needs my support as I did his.  I cannot turn my back.”

“Do you love Eliza Campion?” she asks.

“No,” he replies firmly, without hesitation.

“But you do love Charlotte.  Do not deny it.”

“I have no wish to deny it.  Quite surprisingly now, I find you are one of the few people with whom I can honestly speak of my feelings for her.  I do love her.  She has become my whole world.”

“I was certain of it.  But I was worried I had caused you to dislike each other.”

“To dislike Charlotte ...” he gives a small chuckle, “that’s impossible.  I never have, never could.  Even when I was most irritated with her, I never disliked her.  In fact it took me some time to identify the nature of my feelings, but I finally realised I was in love with her, and to my joy, found my love reciprocated.  Not that it matters now.”

“Oh, it matters,” she declares, allowing the statement to hang in the air a moment before she goes on. “So, the things I wrote of in my letter, you and Charlotte had already resolved?”

“Yes,” he replies, “or at least, she had forgiven my insults.  However, I must thank you for your explanation Georgiana.  We had come through all that anger and mistrust, but had not really discussed it much.  We’d both sought to apologise and set things right and somehow found ourselves in love.  You were sceptical at the Midsummer Ball but the truth is I was besotted by then.  I planned to ask for her hand that evening, but fate intervened in the most painful way.  However, I’m grateful for your letter.  As I read your explanation I realised yet again how badly I’d misjudged her.  I love her Georgiana.  And now, well ... now, I can only admire her from afar.  I’ve no right to do otherwise.”

“Sidney,” she says, concern making her voice sharp, “you have made the ultimate sacrifice and I admire you for your loyalty to your brother and his family, but I cannot bear that you have caused Charlotte to make that same sacrifice!”

“It’s not that easy –”

“Charlotte should be your priority over Tom’s family!” she continues, ignoring his attempt at reply, “she should now be looking forward to being your family, planning for a future with you.  You have acted on impulse, out of frustration and fear.  You did not consider all the possible consequences!”

Sidney appears astonished at her reasonable and mature outburst, and then turns thoughtful as realisation dawns.

“So, the friend you spoke of in your letter is Charlotte ...”

“Yes, and this is not right!  Marrying Eliza Campion for her money!  This is precisely what you were angry with Otis for!  But, Mrs. Campion is not for you!  You and Charlotte are made for each other!”

Sidney remembers a conversation of a few days ago.  “You are the second person who has said this to me," he says, "Lady Susan is of the same persuasion.”

“Then perhaps you should pay heed to Lady Susan!”

Sidney begins to pace the room, running a hand across his jaw line, before answering, “You told me you could not trust me, Georgiana, that you feared I would ruin her happiness.  You were right.  I've ruined my own happiness as well.”  He half turns away, pacing again, running his hands through his hair, “At times I think it is too much to bear, that I am losing my sanity.  But as much as I have hurt both of us, Charlotte has told me she understands.  I believe she would do the same for her family if the situation were reversed.”  His voice takes on a sad note as he continues, “She has stepped away, Georgiana.  She has stepped back from me.  I felt it ... here ... but an hour ago, and then again when we were with Mary.  I cannot blame her.  Ultimately, I can only wish her happiness with another.”

Georgiana snorts, bringing his head snapping round in surprise.

 “With whom?” she asks, suppressing a laugh.

“I am sure when she feels ready she will have no difficulty finding someone who will love her dearly,” he replies. “She is a beautiful woman, generous and kind, intelligent, capable, good with children,” he says, listing off Charlotte’s attributes, “there will be any number of suitors.  I know Mr Stringer is very taken with her.”

Georgiana snorts again, as she replies with disdain, “Charlotte will never marry Mr Stringer, or any other.  You know this!  You recall, surely, what she said at that awful pineapple luncheon at Sanditon House."

“I do recall, but Georgiana, that was months ago.  Things are different –”

“Yes.  It was months ago, but her opinion has not changed.  She can only marry a man she loves and for her, well, that is always going to be Sidney Parker.” 

Chapter Text

Sidney looks startled for a moment, his mouth agape, before gathering his wits as best he can to respond to Georgiana's most surprising statement.

“How do you know?  She has said this?” he asks, his thoughts in disarray, a muddle of hope and confusion.

Georgiana looks scathing as she replies, “Charlotte does not waver in her conviction.  She has expressed her views, and is true to her word.  She will not settle for less.”

“I know you are right about her views on marriage – I remember very well what she said to Lady D that day," he says thoughtfully as he puts his hands on his hips and stares at the ground.

Confusion has set in again for Sidney, as he does not understand why Charlotte would avoid even looking at him if what Georgiana says is true.  He had seen from her letter to Susan that her love for him was as deep as his for her, but with her avoidance this afternoon he has begun to think she wants to put it all in the past.  Why would she shun him if she loves him enough to marry him?  Has this terrible hurt he has inflicted made it impossible for her to forgive?  Perhaps it is simply too difficult to even see him as a friend.  Is she taking what she believes are necessary steps to put distance between them, so he can at least make some attempt to create a happy life with Eliza?  That would be Charlotte’s way, gentle and caring soul that she is.

Georgiana watches as he grapples with these thoughts.  After some time he raises his head to look directly at her.

“I don’t deserve her, Georgiana.”

“Yes, you do.  You are a good man.”

Sidney is again surprised.  “You’ve changed in your opinion of me!” he says.

“No, I must confess something, Sidney,” she replies, “I always knew you were a good man.  You were trying to protect me, and had my best interests at heart.  I knew all that.  I was an angry orphan, that is all.  I blamed you, not because you were at fault, but because you were there.  You were my father’s friend.  So I lashed out at you like a spoilt selfish child when he left me.  And when you refused to trust Otis ...” she shrugs as her thoughts become distracted.

“Please forgive me for taking so long to realise that you had been starved of affection,” Sidney says, “and for failing you as your guardian.  You know, Charlotte made me very much aware of my shortcomings in that regard, while we were searching for you in London.”

“It seems we owe each other an apology.  Can you forgive me for being such a troublesome ward?”

“Of course, as your behaviour was in large part down to my own failure.”

“Be that as it may,” she says by way of apology, “I had no right to behave like a difficult, unpleasant child.  You have shown me that you are sincere in wanting to make amends.  Please know that I am now determined to earn your trust.  I have come to realise that you are my family, and you do not need to be concerned with the immature railings of a spoilt younger sister.  You have so much sadness to endure and so many unpleasant commitments to attend to already.  It is desperately unfair Sidney.  You should not have to do this.” 

“I am grateful for your concern,” he says with genuine warmth. 

“You could be even more grateful," she says with a cunning smile, "if you would accept my proposal to have you rid of this debt.”

“Ah. No Georgiana.  I know what you intend to say!  I will not, I cannot use your money.  Tom’s debt is a crippling sum, but even if it were not, it would be highly inappropriate to use your wealth to pay it out, as you have not yet come of age and I am your guardian.”

“How much is he indebted for?” Georgiana asks.

“Eighty thousand pounds.”

“What?” Georgiana gasps out the word, appalled at the amount. “Eighty thousand ... Oh, now I understand.   This engagement ... finally, it makes sense.  Oh Sidney, I have thought so badly of you for attaching yourself to this wealthy widow ... I am so sorry!”

“Thank you.  You were not to know.  I've been embarrassed by it to the point that I don't care to discuss it with anyone."

“Your brother ... how could he possibly incur so much debt?  What a stupid, stupid man!”

“Harsh words, Georgiana,” Sidney replies dryly, but not disagreeing.  Knowing there is truth in her exclamation, he is not moved to defend his brother.  “So you see, there will be ramifications for anyone who agrees to provide funds to clear this debt.  It is certainly not what one does for a quick return.  It will take years now, for this project to turn a decent profit, and that is even if we manage to raise it back up from the disaster it is now.”

“All thanks to Tom Parker!” she says angrily.

“All the more reason to keep your money where it is,” Sidney replies.

“Oh Sidney I am not a child!” she exclaims, hoping he will see her as mature in her thinking, “I am perfectly well able to decide whether I should be involved in this!"

“No. No.  You owe Tom nothing.  I will not have you part with your inheritance.  I cannot allow Tom to abuse your generosity as he has mine.”

“But Sidney, you have ensured my inheritance is well invested.  You’ve done so much for me, but you will not allow me to return the favour!  You are so infuriating!  I could provide all the funds!  And what difference does a few months make?  Or another year?  If I was to come of age tomorrow, you would find it easy to accept what I want to do!  You would not need to seek any other person’s help at all!  If you will but agree!  Why will you not?  For Charlotte’s sake if nothing else?”

“No Georgiana.” He looks away from her, speaking harshly, “No!”

“Are you not even tempted?” 

His head comes up sharply, his look a little guilty.

“Ho!” she declares gleefully, “You are indeed!”

He weakly replies, “No ... Georgiana –”

“Can you not do this for Charlotte?” she interrupts, “And as an investment it would give me something to take an interest in and learn from, for when I do have to take care of my own wealth.  Or it could simply be a loan and you can take however long you wish to repay me.”  She is speaking quickly, excitement evident in her tone.

“Georgiana!  Please!  You must stop this.  I simply cannot do what you are asking, no matter the amount.  It would be looked upon as very dishonest behaviour on my part, and the consequences –”

She again interrupts him sharply, her frustration clear, “You are a fool if you refuse!  You have access to enough funds to allow you to reject Mrs Campion’s demands!  You do not need that woman!  You can break this farcical engagement!  Free yourself from her clutches!”

“No, I have made this commitment.  I must see it through.  It is a legally binding arrangement.”

Feeling exasperated now and wanting to shout at him, Georgiana struggles to keep her voice from rising in pitch, “Charlotte should not have trusted you!  I knew it!  I tried to tell her!  But she would not have it!”

Sidney closes his eyes, remaining quiet for a moment before seeking to placate his ward, afraid that their new understanding could be lost in a moment, with merely a few ill-spoken words. “Georgiana, please try to remain calm.  Harsh words uttered in anger are easy to regret but difficult to take back.  Shouting at each other will accomplish nothing.  I know what it will take to fulfill my obligations to family.  Charlotte applauds that and understands my actions.  It pains me more than you can possibly imagine that I have hurt her so badly.  But, like it or not, although I long for something different, I am legally obliged to go through with this marriage.  One cannot simply break off an engagement to marry.”

“Eliza Campion did exactly that!  And look how you suffered!”

Sidney is quiet, thinking on her statement, wishing to tell her of his desire to find a way to end his engagement, but unwilling at this time to share a hope that might yet prove futile.  Hoping to convince her he says, “For the last time, I cannot use your money.  It would be unscrupulous –”

“That’s poppycock!” is her retort.

“We are turning in circles here ...” he says on a weary sigh.

Georgiana tries to cajole, “We can have legal documents drawn up without delay, to make it all justifiable and accountable.”

“Can you not see, as much as I want and need a way out, this would be a conflict of interests?” he asks, believing she is well aware but choosing to misunderstand.

She huffs at him, then realising her behaviour is beginning to appear similar to that of the spoilt child she has vowed to leave behind, she capitulates, “Oh alright, but I am not finished with this.  I have tasks to complete here now before I return to the boarding house.  Please do not return to London before we can speak again.”

“I’ve decided to stay for a week,” he replies, “if it’s not too difficult for Charlotte.”  He then lowers his voice, almost conspiratorially.  “In truth I want to stay as long as possible.  I have no wish to return to London just now.  I’ve no wish to leave until Charlotte does.”

She looks at him with genuine concern.  “Will that not only make things more difficult for both of you, if you do not intend to change your plans for this wedding?”

Sidney’s voice softens, and his sadness is clear as he agrees, “Perhaps you’re right.  I just find myself wanting to be near her now that she’s here.  I was in despair when she left Sanditon.  I hadn’t realised it would tear my heart out ...”

His ward looks kindly at him, touching his forearm as she softly expresses her concern, “I feel sad and sorry it has come to this for you and my best friend. There must be something we can do!”

“I wish that were so, Georgiana, with all my heart, but I fear there’s nothing for it.  What’s done is done.”

“Do you not even dare to hope?  Will you not even try to change this situation?”

After a pause, Sidney explains, “I am afraid to.”

Nonplussed, she asks, “Afraid?  Why so?”

“If it should come to nothing, it would only hurt Charlotte further.  Especially so, should Eliza find ... no, I simply can’t take that risk.  That would be too cruel.”

“Lady Susan told Charlotte that in love there is no such thing as a foregone conclusion.”

Sidney stares at her without speaking, then nods as if in agreement, picks up his hat, and changes the subject, saying “I really am grateful for what you and Charlotte are doing for Mary and the family, and it is a relief for me to know that you and I are finally finding a way to reconcile our differences.  I’m glad we’ve at least achieved something in that regard.”

“I too, Sidney.  I have wasted so much time.  I want to get to know you and become someone you will be proud of.”

“I think that process has already begun!” He smiles at her, then takes a long, steadying breath.  “I think I need to take a walk, clear my head, there’s much for me to mull over.  Are you heading back to Mrs Griffiths soon?  I’ll wait and walk with you if you like.”

“No, but I will go back before dark,” she replies, surprising him as she takes his hands, “ go ahead and take that walk Sidney, you appear to be in need of it.”

“Yes.  We’ll talk again tomorrow.  Thank you, Georgiana.”

Releasing hands, he walks to the door, but turns, expressing his gratitude, “I’m surprised – and delighted – by what you’ve been doing.”

He smiles warmly, nods to her and leaves.  As Georgiana stands watching after him, she feels warmth and connection at last, and she too finds reason to smile.

Chapter Text

Sidney leaves the house to take a walk on the beach, unaware that Charlotte is already doing so, to take fresh air and recover fully from her fainting spell. As he steps onto the sand he sees her in the distance and stops in surprise. Believing she should not be alone so soon after the incident in the house, he hurries to catch up. Charlotte is startled to hear the squeak and crunch of his boots in the dry sand, and with his coming quickly alongside she moves to place a little distance between them.

“Charlotte!” he says with concern, “You shouldn’t be walking alone after that collapse!”

Charlotte frowns. Still feeling a little embarrassed about what has occurred she finds herself annoyed at his concern, realising at the same time that in fact she should be grateful. She tries to ignore that he seems insistent on addressing her informally.

“It is quite alright. I am quite well. The fresh air is stimulating,” she says.

Sidney is looking down apprehensively at her. “Well, I’ll walk with you,” he replies, “for my own peace of mind at least.”

There is no point arguing, he is determined to accompany her. She is reminded of her thoughts in the carriage on her way back to Sanditon from Willingden. So much for her resolution, that she would avoid him!

They walk together without speaking, both feeling the intensity of the moment but neither sure how to break the awkward silence. Sidney is thinking of the contents of Charlotte’s letter to Susan, but much as he would like to speak of it he is aware that he cannot break Susan’s confidence by revealing what he knows.

Charlotte is annoyed with herself as she is close to crying, and fears that Sidney must see her lack of composure. She is right in her thinking as he looks her way more than once, noticing the shimmer of tears in her eyes and blaming himself for her distress, his own agitation now building.

On impulse Sidney stops abruptly, turns to Charlotte and earnestly entreats her, “Please. Look at me Charlotte.”

She does so, to find his eyes also glistening with moisture.

“You told me I must try to make Mrs Campion happy, and believe me, I’ve been trying to accept ... I wanted ... that day, when I stopped you on the cliff road ... I told you I do not love her but you insisted I must not say that. I don’t know what good it can do to tell you this but I feel I must ensure that you know –”

“Mr Parker –” she says, trying to prevent his continuing.

“Hear me out, please, for I must be honest with you. The truth is ... I had never been as happy as I was in that short time before this chaos came upon us. I had such dreams for us, before I lost my soul to this wretched disaster. In these weeks, my feelings have not changed. I can never love anyone but you, and if I could make it different –”

“I understand,” she interrupts hastily, “I know what you mean. We were both happy. We found the best in each other and we fell in love. We discovered joy. We had a moment in the sun. Then came the rain. It is done. We cannot change things now.”

Sidney's eyes are fixed on hers. He stands motionless, unable to utter a sound, as tears trickle down her cheeks. Her words have washed over and through him, filling his heart with an ache he is sure can never be purged. Yes, it is done. No, they cannot change things ... and Charlotte ... she is blameless. This ... it is all down to him. He must speak.

“Please, forgive me,” he whispers.

“There is nothing to forgive, you are doing what you must, I do understand.”

“Charlotte,” he says, his voice pained, as he takes her hands, his sad eyes searching her tear-stained face.

She looks down to their hands. She does not pull away.

“I try to convince myself that I can be strong without you,” he says hoarsely, “but it is all in vain. I have been nothing but miserable since entering into this engagement.”

Charlotte quickly jerks her hands from his, her breath catching. “I am sorry,” she gasps, “you must not ... not...” she stammers, her voice fading to nothing.

Sidney takes off his hat, fumbling with it in both hands. Looking forlornly into her teary eyes he says softly, “Oh Charlotte, my dearest Charlotte, what have I done to us?”

She does not reply, but gazes up at him as if wishing to find the answer to his question in his own sorrowful countenance. He fears he has gone too far, but hopes she will understand what has driven him to speak in such a way. He waits for what seems an eternity, till she finally responds.

“I am not your Charlotte.”

He recoils, clearly wounded, and she cannot bear to see the hurt in his eyes. She looks towards the dunes, gathering her courage, knowing she must say more, to endeavour to explain her words and acknowledge his hurt, but to also make certain that he does not misunderstand her position. Her foremost thought is that she must try to assuage his pain.

“We should go back now, to Trafalgar House, but know this, I too have been miserable.”

Sidney nods his understanding.

“After what you have just told me,” she continues, “I must also be honest with you. I will say this to you now, and that will be an end of it.”

He does not interrupt, but his expression indicates that he fears the death knell is coming. Unable to meet his intense gaze, Charlotte looks down twisting her hands as she continues, her words coming on shaky breath, “I believe that I will never stop loving you. I cannot. I have no desire to be with anyone else, ever. Perhaps that means I am destined for loneliness in my declining years but knowing the sacrifice that you have made, for your sake I will try to make the best of it. But,” she is determined to keep her voice steady as she forces herself to look up, directly into his soulful eyes, “while I will always love you, I am no longer your Charlotte.”

Sidney closes his eyes briefly, the now familiar but unwelcome burn back in his chest. He brings his hand up to cover the place where his treasure sits in his waistcoat pocket, as if holding his hand over the letter will somehow help to relieve the pain.

‘‘Of course,” he replies softly, “thank you Charlotte, for your honesty. I wish that it could be otherwise for us. I am so sorry.”

Charlotte continues to look at him in silence, her own eyes filled with tears. He knows he has no right to ask her to share her thoughts any further.

“We will go back,” he says, offering his arm, but she hesitates, looking questioningly at him through her tears. “For balance,” he explains, “I would like to be sure you are steady on your feet. May I offer as a friend?”

Charlotte, seeing that this is sensible, says, “Thank you.”

She slips her hand lightly to the inner side of his elbow and he recognises in this gesture her unspoken acceptance of his offer of friendship. They nod to one another and begin the return to Trafalgar House. The walk, in silence, is bittersweet for both. Their progress is slow. Sidney glances at her often, but she chooses to look straight ahead or away to the other side, battling with the threat of more tears.

Though silent, to all appearances they are a couple enjoying a leisurely stroll in one another’s company. Neither notices that James Stringer has come to the beach, his intention to try to catch up with Charlotte if she is taking her usual walk. Immediately upon noticing them his breath catches. He stops, watching in annoyance from the top of the walk, then turns after a moment and strides angrily away.

Chapter Text

Back at Trafalgar House, after ensuring that Charlotte is feeling well, Sidney has gone straight to Tom’s desk.  His intention is to determine whether Tom has been true to his word, that he will refrain from introducing new ideas and plans until the current problems are all in the past.  After the heart wrenching conversation with Charlotte he must do something to occupy his mind or he fears he will go mad, so he thinks that checking on his brother’s activities might be just the thing to distract him from his muddled thoughts – either that, or send him more quickly to a place of insanity!  He does wonder exactly what Tom now does with his days, and hopes that he is not causing trouble at the worksite by being underfoot when the men are trying to work.  Sidney recalls how only last week as he approached to speak with James Stringer, they all appeared to be ignoring Tom’s feeble attempts to impress them.  

Sidney picks up a few sheets of paper, immediately noticing some incomplete building plans that are obviously Tom’s work.  Surely, surely he is not still putting his pipe dreams to paper?  To what purpose?  He no longer has access to funds; Sidney has made certain that he will not be issued credit from anyone – not for so much as a farthing!  But still he goes on with these ridiculous ideas.  Is there no end to his nonsense?  What exactly goes on in his head?

As he stares incredulously at the papers, Sidney hears the front door slam and expects Tom’s booming voice to announce his arrival home.  Surprisingly, there is no such call.  Tom simply appears quietly in the doorway, stopping suddenly, his jaw dropping upon seeing his brother standing with a frowning countenance, obviously having studied his work on the sheets of paper in his hands.

“Sidney,” he says, guilt in his expression, aghast that his brother has discovered his diagrams, “what brings you back to Sanditon?”

“Your wife.”

“Oh.”

“Yes Tom. Your gravely ill wife!”

“Sidney –”

“Leave it, Tom.”

Tom closes his mouth, and stands looking sulkily at his brother.

“Well,” Sidney says sharply, “what are you standing there for? Go.”

“Go where Sidney?” Tom asks, puzzled.

Sidney sweeps an arm out wide, towards the staircase, wordlessly inviting Tom to move.  Tom frowns, mystified.

“What?”

“Your wife,” Sidney replies, raising his eyebrows, his voice pitching up as if in a question.

“Oh.  Of course,” Tom mumbles sheepishly, turning towards the stairs, climbing them reluctantly to go to Mary’s room.  Sidney stares after him, thinking he cannot count the number of reasons he has to be angry with him.  He shakes his head, tosses the drawing sheets on the desk and decides to seek a little relief by spending time with the children.

Charlotte is tucking the children into bed.  Glad of the distraction from thoughts of her walk with Sidney she talks with them of their Mama feeling much better.  Sidney comes to the door and smiles wistfully at the scene before joining in the conversation for a while. He cannot help but compare – well aware that Mrs Campion would never be found enjoying the company of his nephew and nieces, as Charlotte does. Wishing the children goodnight he and Charlotte then head for the dining room.  At his inquiry she assures him that she is feeling fully recovered from the afternoon’s fainting incident.

“Really, you do not have to keep asking, Mr Parker.  I am quite well,” she insists.

“Well I am glad to hear it.  I will try to refrain from irritating you further,” he replies with a smile, as he pulls her chair out for her at the table.

Mary’s evening meal has been taken to her room and with only three people sitting down at the table to eat, the mood is quiet, to the point of awkwardness, the only sounds the scraping of cutlery on plates.  For once, Tom is not inclined to talk.  It should make Sidney feel relieved but with Tom in such close proximity he is agitated. Sitting opposite Charlotte he glances frequently at her, and with her doing the same towards him it becomes impossible to avoid eye contact.  Charlotte cannot help but wonder what Sidney is thinking.  He is obviously angry, and she is sure that this anger is directed at his brother. 

Suddenly, Sidney stops eating.  Holding his knife and fork vertically each side of his plate he glares at Tom.

“‘Why did you not communicate to me that Mary was so ill?”

Tom, flustered by the question, mutters, “I had no wish to interrupt your wedding preparations with Eliza.”

Sidney takes his time placing his knife and fork back down onto his plate.  He then looks back at Tom, his expression one of disbelief. 

“What?”

Tom has no answer.  He tries to stare back, his face reddening, but he cannot match Sidney’s glare.  Wishing to avoid his wrath he looks back down to his plate and begins stabbing at his food, giving it extraordinary attention.  Sidney waits, but it becomes apparent that Tom does not intend to respond.

His voice cold, Sidney asks, “You did not think that your wife’s serious illness was at least slightly more important than Mrs Campion’s elaborate wedding plans?”

Tom takes a mouthful of food, chewing laboriously as if unable to speak.

“Tell me Tom,” Sidney continues, “for there seems to be something I am missing here. Why are you so preoccupied with my marriage plans with Mrs Campion?”

Tom looks up, feigning confusion, and tries a distracting tactic, “Well, has a date been set? It seems there is a delay ...”

His anger boiling over, Sidney now slams his fist on the table, making Tom and Charlotte jump with fright.

“Stop! ... with your obsession about my wedding preparations!  It’s going to happen, so you can cease with this fretting that I might not drag you up from the mess you made for yourself, your family and everyone else in this wretched town.  I’m going ahead with it, but please allow me to decide at least one of the terms!  Excuse me!”

He pushes his plate away, throws his table napkin down, his chair screeching against the floor as he shoves it back.  He leaves the table, glancing at Charlotte as he goes, feeling a stab of guilt as he notices her startled expression.  Tom, truly speechless now looks to Charlotte, who lowers her gaze to avoid his eyes.

Barely out of the room, Sidney stumbles upon Mary who has stopped to listen near the door.  Grasping her arm to prevent her slipping over, he says quietly but with concern, “Mary!  You should not be out of bed!”

“I am much recovered Sidney.  I need to begin moving about again.”  Quietly apologetic, she puts her hand on his arm, “I am so sorry, for Tom’s recklessness.  And I wish that you and Charlotte did not have to be denied the happiness you deserve.  I know how you feel for each other!”

“It’s alright Mary, we’ve already discussed this – remember what I said, it is not your doing.  Truly, you shouldn’t be out of your bed.  Come, I’ll help you go back –”

“No Sidney, I must say this, and I want you to listen.  I have been thinking of little else.  There must be another way.”

“I’ve explored every avenue but all the doors are closed to me, nobody wants to do business with Tom.  Stories about the fire are everywhere, often embellished beyond belief, but the reality appears so far-fetched anyway; who can blame them for wanting no part of it?  And I cannot ask friends to fill the financial void.  They would do it, I know, loyal as they are, but it’s far too much, and far too precarious. I have already lost what is most precious and important in my life.  I will not now also risk the loss of those friendships.  And having recently learned what Eliza Campion is capable of, I will not put Charlotte in harm’s way.”

“But it is so unfair!”

Sidney sighs.  “I sometimes want to throttle my brother, but I cannot see you and the children suffer with Tom going to debtor’s prison.  I don’t know what else can be done.  Now, come, you’re still too frail, I’ll assist you with the stairs.”

He takes her arm to climb the stairs with her and escort her to the room.  Seeing her settled he returns downstairs, dons his coat, collects his hat and leaves the house.

*  *  *

As dusk comes in, Georgiana looks out her window to see Sidney walking on the beach.  She recalls other such occasions, once when he strode resolutely across the sand, his coat swirling behind him, the other as he is now.  He lacks his former distinctive vitality and she feels sad, for him and for Charlotte.  She is determined to find a way to relieve him of his obligation to the wealthy widow.  She paces the room, wondering how to find a solution to Tom Parker’s mess that will also allow Sidney and Charlotte the happiness they deserve.  While she is deep in thought, Crockett arrives at her door, with special delivery of a letter from Lady Susan Worcester.  Puzzled, she quickly breaks the seal and begins to read.

Dear Miss Lambe,

I am writing to inform you that I am at this present time visiting with Lady Denham at Sanditon House.  We have a business matter to discuss with you and would be most pleased if you could attend a breakfast meeting with us, and other interested parties at Sanditon House, tomorrow, Thursday, at nine o'clock.

I will send my carriage for your convenience.

I should also ask that you keep this matter in strictest confidence at this point in time, even from the closest and most trusted of your associates.

We look forward to meeting with you.  Should you be unable to attend, could you please advise me of this by return note as soon as possible so that we might arrange quickly for another date and time?

Kind regards

Lady Susan Worcester.

Georgiana is astounded.  What on earth would Lady Worcester and Lady Denham be conspiring over, and how could it possibly be of relevance to her?  A business matter?  It is all too intriguing.  Although her opinion of Lady Denham is less than favourable, she suspects that if Lady Susan is requesting her presence, there is a chance she is trying to do something to help Charlotte. Yes!  Of course!

Is it possible that there is a move afoot to help Sidney out of this horrible engagement?  Do they assume she can be of assistance?  Can they help her convince him to accept her money?  She has also understood immediately that the ‘closest and most trusted of associates’ of whom Lady Susan speaks are Charlotte and Sidney.

Her dislike of Lady Denham notwithstanding, she must attend, for the sake of her guardian and her best friend.  As she thinks on it, Georgiana considers the hurtful things she has said and done to disappoint, and becomes certain this will be her opportunity to make amends.  This is a meeting she must not miss.  With a rush of excitement, she scribbles a hurried note of acceptance to Lady Susan and asks Crockett to make sure it is delivered without delay.  She then prepares a brief note for Charlotte, to advise she will need to catch up on a few personal matters, so will arrive later than usual at Trafalgar House in the morning.

*  *  * 

Sidney meanwhile is deep in thought.  As he walks the beach he recalls Charlotte’s startled face and regrets his behaviour at the table.  It seems that everything he does causes her distress when it is the last thing he would ever wish for.  He wants Tom to understand and take some responsibility for his reckless business activities but no matter what he says or does to accomplish that, it is a lost cause. 

In the meantime there is something he can do.  On return to London he will seek legal advice before setting foot in Eliza’s house.  He will look for indisputable evidence of what Babington has revealed.  Should he find such evidence he will call upon Eliza to give her the opportunity to admit to her duplicitous activities, whereupon he will insist they cancel the engagement.  If she denies such activities he will advise her of his intent to appoint a barrister to prepare a case for court. 

If, however, for some reason it becomes clear that there is no way for him to avoid this marriage, his visit to her will be to make certain she is under no illusion – it will be a marriage in name only.  He will make it clear that strict stipulations will apply. There will be no elaborate wedding celebration.  He will not reside with her.  He will not attend any society events with her.  She will not be allowed access to his assets or income.  He will remind her that he has the right to ownership and control of her wealth once the marriage takes place.  He will suggest that they agree to the one legal avenue open to them – cancellation of the marriage contract by mutual consent.

Should Eliza, for some stubborn or vindictive purpose, still insist that this sham wedding go ahead, his first – and only – action as a married man will be to make the necessary transfer of Campion funds to cover the exact amount of Tom Parker’s debt.  No more.  No less. He will then sever all connection with Eliza. 

He will be a friend to Charlotte, even if it must be from afar.  Charlotte will never want for any material comfort.  He will make sure she is safe.  Should she wish it, he will write to her, and will visit whenever she needs the company of a friend.  If in time, contrary to her declaration this afternoon on the beach, she should fall in love with another man, he will be his best and truest self.  He will wish her well, step away and hide his broken heart ... and it will be alright, as Charlotte will know he does this because he loves her – enough to let her go, as she has done for him.  This is the least he can do.

*  *  *

Charlotte has left Mary’s room, happy that she is settled for the night.  As Sidney has just returned to the house, he and Charlotte bump into each other at a doorway where they have collided before.

Refraining with difficulty from reaching out to hold her steady, he steps back and makes an attempt at humour, “Miss Heywood, it seems I cannot escape you!”

They lock eyes and share in the amusement, but Charlotte feels that his laugh is hollow, forced, attempting to mask some sadness.  She holds his gaze as his laugh dies away, and is troubled to find there a haunted, bleak expression.  It is as if a lost soul, caught in a cage, looks back at her.  In a moment the impression is gone, as he smiles hesitantly at her again.

She asks with concern, “Are you well?”

“Yes,” he replies on a sigh, taking a moment to gather his wits, “please forgive my outburst at table this evening Charlotte, it is not your concern that I am at odds with my irresponsible brother.”

“I cannot help but worry.  I want to see you happy,” she replies quietly.

“Yes. I know you do.  My behaviour is not that of a gentleman at times, especially recently it seems.  I will do better.”

“There is no need for an apology.  I understand your difficulties.”

“I know,” he replies sincerely, “and I am grateful for your understanding ... truly.”

They share a smile, then still seeking to understand why he was the only sibling Tom had kept in ignorance about Mary’s ailment he asks, “Charlotte, forgive my asking, but were you aware that Tom had not advised me of Mary’s illness?”

Charlotte feels a flush come to her cheeks, not wanting to suffer his scorn and at the same time unsure whether to speak of Tom’s reasoning on the matter. She chooses to speak honestly.

“I was.”

Sidney’s face takes on a pained look, reminding her of his betrayed expression at the coach station weeks ago when he had come upon her in the act of mimicry.  He asks, “But why did ...?  Did you not see that I would wish to know?  Could you not have sent word, if Tom was unwilling?”

“I wanted to do exactly that,” she explains. “I wish now that I had.  I am glad that Georgiana had the foresight to do so.  In fact, I had already suggested to Tom that I write to you as Dr Fuchs had recommended it, but Tom was adamant that we must not.  He insisted you would be too busy, and must not be disturbed in your wedding planning with Mrs Campion.”

Sidney drops his head back, closing his eyes, breathing sharply though his nose and raising his hands, as if seeking an answer from the heavens.  He groans in frustration, and asks, “What is it with my brother, that he simply cannot see beyond his own selfish wants?”

Charlotte, having no answer, takes in his troubled expression and feels immense sympathy for him, knowing the injustice that he must endure in sheltering this family from destruction so carelessly invited in by his egocentric brother.  When Sidney opens his eyes it is to find her watching him, her dark doe-like gaze deep with compassion.

“Oh Charlotte, you must tire of me, always begging your forgiveness,” he says sadly, “I apologise for dragging you into this.  Please don’t be alarmed. We will muddle through this mire.”

“I should dearly like to be of assistance in some way, but I fear I am not the right person to be offering,” she wistfully replies.

“I suppose you’re right, although I wish it could be otherwise.  I am truly sorry.”

To avoid things becoming awkward, she smiles briefly and makes a move to the side, “Would you excuse me Mr Parker, I’ve things to attend to.”

“Of course.”  He smiles fondly as she bids a hasty retreat towards her room.  He is smarting that she is still so formal in her address when speaking with him.  He watches her go, regretful that she doesn’t turn to him at her door, but knowing he has no right to even hope for that.

Sidney stays at Trafalgar House overnight.  He spends time examining the contract he has with Eliza, searching for a possible anomaly he can use to his advantage.  Loath to encounter Tom again before retiring to bed, he remains in his room the entire evening, thinking and pacing the floor.  If he cannot spend the time with Charlotte, then he will opt for the solitude of his own company.

Charlotte is also still awake, standing at the window, staring out contemplatively into the night.  She thinks of the unfairness of Sidney’s situation and the difficulty of sharing their feelings on the beach.  She allows a few tears to fall for this kind and compassionate man who has been so badly manipulated by his brother, and truth be known, by his betrothed.  She knows without doubt that she can never love another as she does the gentleman in the next room.  Her heart is his, for all time.

Chapter Text

Charlotte greets the morning with little enthusiasm.  Having slept poorly, she feels exhausted. Choosing to forego her morning walk she breaks fast in her room.  After last night’s disagreement between the brothers, and with Sidney’s anger at Tom still fresh in her mind she is afraid she will feel awkward in their company if all are at the table together. Sidney keeps to his room, for much the same reason.

Once she has prepared for the day, Charlotte goes to spend the morning with Mary.  It surprises her that Mary knows of the altercation between Tom and Sidney last night, as she had been unaware of Mary’s venturing out of bed, and had not spoken much with her when she checked on her later, before retiring to her own room.  At Mary’s explanation and her attempt to speak about the situation, Charlotte tells her that there is nothing to be done, and that she and Sidney have now found a way to see each other as friends.  Adopting a happy smile, she suggests that she finally read that book she had promised yesterday.  Although disappointed Mary agrees readily, deciding she must find a way for these two to be together once she has regained her strength.  She sees it as a matter of urgency, and is determined to recover her health quickly, thinking perhaps she can begin her quest by approaching Lady Denham to at least explain what is troubling her brother-in-law.

Sidney leaves Trafalgar House to visit the worksite, to catch up briefly with Mr Stringer.  He is surprised to find the foreman is not yet there as he is always at the workplace early, preparing job lists for the workers before they arrive.  The men are not able to tell Sidney where Mr Stringer is, but all assume that he will be on his way presently.  There is a mention of his dog being unwell, so talk centres on the possibility that this is the reason for his lateness.  Sidney is not concerned, simply advising that he will come by again at another time.

James Stringer meanwhile has gone to the beach and, caught up in his thoughts he has not realised the passing of time.  Walking alone, he is irritable.  He is eager to meet up with Charlotte.  Thinking of her walking with Sidney last evening, he cannot understand that she has allowed this engaged man to accompany her unchaperoned, her hand on his arm, in such a public place.  Sidney Parker had his opportunity, but he abandoned her, so why does he continue to amuse himself, toying with her affections?  He will hurt her again.  From all appearances yesterday they are again – or still – very close.  He wonders what he must do to gain her attention while Mr Parker seems to only have to crook his finger and she will come running.  Truth to tell, he is jealous of her friendship with Sidney Parker.  He keeps looking round in the hope that she will appear, but to no avail.  Perhaps he needs to be more forward and show Miss Heywood his interest in her is more than just that of a friend.  Agitated, he eventually turns to make his way to work.

*  *  *

At precisely 9am, Georgiana is shown into Sanditon House.  Expecting to feel uncomfortable, she is pleasantly surprised to receive a warm greeting from Lady Denham and Lady Susan, who accompany her into the breakfast room.  There she is excited, if a little intimidated, to find Lord and Lady Babington, Arthur, Diana, and Mr Crowe about to take their seats at the table.  Arthur rushes to her side and greets her excitedly, pulling out a chair for her and happily choosing to sit beside her. 

“It is such a pleasure to have you here Miss Lambe,” he says, “we can conspire together!”

Georgiana laughs, and replies cheerfully, “I am most happy to be here.  I hope I can contribute well to this meeting.”

Lady Denham has heard their words, and nods her head approvingly. 

“My word, Miss Lambe, I believe we can certainly gain something from your contribution.”

Georgiana is unsure how to take this comment, knowing Lady Denham’s desire some months ago for her to make a match with her nephew.  She wonders if Lady Denham is simply coveting her money.  She cannot be irritated though, as it pleases her that they all welcome her as if it is quite normal to have her in their company.  She notes that the atmosphere is rather different from on that only other occasion she has attended for a meal at Sanditon House. 

Once all are seated, Babington wastes no time, thanking them for their attendance and launching into the reason they have been called together.  Once the purpose of the meeting is explained, a general discussion ensues.  All present are of the view that Sidney Parker is sacrificing his happiness – and that of their dear friend Charlotte Heywood – to not only save Tom Parker and his family from bankruptcy, but also to honour Tom’s debts to Lady Denham and other investors, and to prevent the workers’ decline into poverty; effectively a sacrifice to save all of Sanditon.  All are agreed that he should not have entered into an engagement with Eliza Campion and that every effort must be made to ensure he can claim back his freedom.

Babington and Crowe speak of their conversations with Sidney, thus confirming what the others in the group are already thinking – Sidney Parker has no wish to marry Eliza Campion, and is heartbroken at the loss of his true love, Charlotte Heywood.  Georgiana refrains from comment, respecting Sidney’s request just yesterday that she keep their conversation confidential.  Babington also asks that the details disclosed at this meeting remain in this room.

The news that Eliza Campion had put much effort into sabotaging Sidney’s efforts to gain finance has some of the group gasping with shock. Diana is aghast at the idea of welcoming such a person into the Parker family but Arthur calmly states that he is not surprised, as he has always felt Mrs Campion could not be trusted, no matter how much she may appear to have changed.

“Do you not recall, sister, the young man we saw Tom forcing hastily into the carriage to go to the docks?”

“I do, but what has that to do with this?” Diana asks in confusion.

“I was too young to understand why Sidney was leaving us,” Arthur replies, “but I remember that he was the saddest, most wretched young man I had ever seen.  All I knew was that a young woman named Eliza had broken his heart.  Our dear, once happy, even mischievous brother was lost to us.  I have missed him all these years.”

“You can have that happy Sidney back,” Susan remarks, “when he is reunited with Charlotte.” 

Her statement brings another gasp from Diana, “This is all very distressing!  I had no idea until Arthur expressed his opinion to me this very morning!  Charlotte is such a dear, and I can well see Sidney falling for her!”  

Georgiana expresses her anger at the actions of this woman who has led Sidney such a woeful dance, “I should have known this woman had done something underhanded.  I was not aware, but Sidney has been so miserable,” she says.  “He only told me of the amount of Tom Parker’s debt just yesterday, but did not elaborate any further or discuss her actions.”

“He has spoken little of it to anyone,” Crowe says, “because I believe he is afraid we will want to poke money at him.”

“Oh yes, I am sure you are right about that!” Georgiana agrees.

An in-depth discussion of finances and the work done to this point ensues, Susan explaining the steps taken so far and the group calculating that they can find sufficient funds from committed investors to meet a little more than two thirds of the debt. Georgiana becomes excited at the prospect of providing the final piece to the puzzle, knowing that she can easily afford to put up the remaining £25,000. She confirms her wish to contribute, but also advises that Sidney is adamant that he will not touch a penny of her money, insisting it would be unscrupulous.  Babington offers to speak with him, but Georgiana says “Leave it with me, I shall try again, and send word immediately, should I succeed.”

“Excellent!” Susan declares, ready to close the meeting, “we shall allow you some time, Georgiana, to discuss it with Sidney, and we will join you at Trafalgar House at noon.  Should he still need convincing, I have no doubt he will be unable to resist our entire contingent’s persuasive powers!”

“Oh dear,” Arthur says, chuckling heartily, “my poor brother is about to be ambushed!”

The business of the meeting done, breakfast continues with all in very good spirits, and Georgiana finds that she is enjoying the camaraderie.  Arthur’s presence by her side is most welcome, and the fact that she is seen by the others as having an important role to play in making their plan succeed gives her a feeling of belonging.  Even Lady Denham is kind to her, and compliments her on her efforts when Arthur explains to the group that Georgiana has been helping daily at Trafalgar House, since the onset of Mary’s illness.  Georgiana mentions that the best help has come from Charlotte, which brings exclamations of surprise from Lady Susan, Lady Denham and Esther. 

Georgiana explains that Charlotte has returned at Tom’s request, and has been by Mary’s side during the worst of her fever, and now her recovery.  The group is delighted and Susan says it will be an ideal opportunity to visit Charlotte when they go to Trafalgar House at noon. Esther is in total agreement as she has come to regard Charlotte with much affection, and wishes very much to see her again.

So, on this cheerful note, with all in consensus, Georgiana takes her leave, to board Lady Susan’s carriage for Trafalgar House.

*  *  *

Having returned from the worksite Sidney goes again to the desk where he had found Tom’s drawings, and stands looking at the mess of papers and books.  He has already arranged for all financial correspondence to be addressed to Bedford Place, so is merely checking to see that there has been nothing sent here in error.  His brother has allowed all Charlotte’s efficient sorting and filing to fall into disarray.  This would not worry Sidney if he was not now concerned with the running of the project.  Notwithstanding that this is Tom’s house, Sidney will speak with him this evening and insist that he stay out of this room, and take his silly drawings with him.  Unfortunately he knows he will have to employ an assistant to undertake the daily administrative tasks, as he cannot keep coming back to Sanditon – his own business affairs are in need of his attention in London.  There is someone who would be the perfect person for the tasks here, but he cannot ask that of her.  He has no doubt she would only wish to remain here as long as is necessary for Mary.  He must wade through this mess and decide what to do once he has ensured all is in order.

Sitting down to sift through the shambles on the desk Sidney is startled to find recently dated letters from supply companies, rejecting requests from Tom for credit to purchase materials and decorative furnishings.  His body jumps with the shock of his brother’s folly.  Tom has promised Sidney he will remain apart from any such involvement with the project until Sidney decides it is safe to withdraw and hand management back to him.  He knows this is a long way down the path, and is immediately incensed to find his brother has yet again ignored common sense, and broken what Sidney now realises was a spurious promise.  After all Sidney has done to save his brother, this betrayal is gut-wrenching. 

Furious, Sidney springs up from his chair intending to go searching for Tom, but is startled by Georgiana’s exuberant entry into the room.

“Sidney, you must stop everything!  I have news! You will be overjoyed!” she declares with great excitement.

“Whoa, slow down Georgiana, what’s this about?” he asks sceptically, his voice betraying his anger with his brother, something his ward simply fails to see as she is so fixed on her news.

“You do not have to marry that woman!  We have a solution!” she proudly announces.

Sidney fights to reign in his anger and lets out a sigh, believing Georgiana is on a wild goose chase again with unachievable ideas, just as she was yesterday. He thinks the best option is to hear her out, before then letting her down gently with the truth, and leaving to seek out his brother for yet another confrontation.

“Alright,” he says wearily, “you have my undivided attention.”

“There is no longer any reason for you to remain engaged to Mrs Campion.  The money you require is immediately available!  We need only visit the banks and draw up the contracts.”

“Georgiana, please don’t start with this again,” he begs, looking at her in exasperation, “I know you mean well but I will not – I cannot – use your money.  That would be highly unprincipled, as I have already explained.”

Georgiana screws her face up in annoyance, but deciding to return to the subject later, to perhaps wear him down, simply says, “Oh alright then.”  Her voice then changes, becoming very serious as she continues, “But I do have another matter to discuss with you ...”

“Oh yes?” he questions her suspiciously.

“What I have to say, I fear you will not like, not at all.”

Sidney looks directly at her, his expression unreadable.   “Georgiana, what have you done?”

“Please promise you will not shout at me.” 

Sidney feels alarmed now, but endeavours to remain composed as he replies, “Alright, no, I will not shout at you.  I dare to hope we’ve moved beyond such behaviour.  I will remain calm and considerate, even if what you have to say displeases me.  So yes, share it with me.”

Georgiana takes a deep breath.  She knows that this is perhaps not the best time to introduce a new complication for Sidney, but feels that she must take advantage of their new understanding.  If she waits any longer for this discussion she is sure she will go mad.

Wringing her hands, she says softly, “Otis has written to me.”

Chapter Text

“Ah,” Sidney says, staring into Georgiana's shifty eyes.

“I have responded,” she adds, guilt weighing heavily upon her.

“Right.”

Although fearing his wrath, Georgiana continues to explain, “He has decided to make his living at sea, and asked me to wait for him.  He sailed several weeks ago. In time he aims to amass his own fortune so we can marry without suspicion from you – and others. I have his letters for you to read.  You will see he is sincere.”

Georgiana holds two letters out to him and he reluctantly takes them.  His calm demeanour surprises her.

“Please do not be angry with us. Please do not forbid our communications –”

Cutting her short, Sidney hands the letters back saying, “I have no wish to read these letters Georgiana.”

“Please I ... I know he did me a grave wrong, but there was no evil intent, and he regrets it most sorely,” she says, now running her fingers along the tops of the letters as she hopes to convince him of Otis’s sincerity.  “He still loves me and has learned from this appalling mistake. He had no wish to place me in harm’s way ... but I believe he will be committed to life at sea for some time, so ...”

She stops suddenly, realising he is not angry, as he is looking at her with a soft expression, and a hint of a smile.  Incredulous, she says accusingly, “You are not surprised!”

Sidney shakes his head a little, his smile growing wider.

“You knew! But ... how?”

“How did you think he could afford to prepare for life at sea?” he asks, one eyebrow raised, “a man so staggered by debt that he was bailed out of his situation by another?”

“You paid his expenses?” she asks, her expression one of disbelief.

“I did.”

“And ... this was after that terrible night in London when you had already paid his debts?”

“Yes.”

“But ... why?”

“The man was devastated,” he says, putting it simply, “as his foolhardy behaviour had cost him the love of his life.  I wanted to provide him the opportunity of a second chance.  We spoke at great length at the time, and I advised him of the dangers of addiction to gambling ... that he would face ruination should he fail to ignore the impulse.  He chose life at sea for its distance from the gambling houses, and to strive to be a better man.  I made it clear; it will be just as difficult as if he had stayed in London.  There will be little to keep him occupied apart from the card games and drinking occurring on the ships when the men have free time.”

“Then why would he choose such a life?” she asks worriedly.

“He vowed to prove himself to you.  I made him aware that while that was a lofty intention, where there is such temptation promises are easily broken.  For this reason I introduced him to a captain prepared to have him only embark on two smaller journeys, as a trial.  He’ll then decide whether to stay for a much longer duration.  One benefit of working on this particular ship is that he will earn well.  I have access to information regarding his progress.  From what I hear, he is doing well but it is early days.  It will not be an easy undertaking.”

“You are spying on him?” she asks, her disappointment obvious.

“No,” he responds firmly, “not spying, I’m looking out for you Georgiana.  I’m also prepared to assist him should he find it too difficult.”

“You hate him, yet you have done all this for him.  I still do not understand why?”

“I do not hate him.  When you first showed interest in him, I thought it may be a good match, and simply did what was necessary to check his suitability.  Had I done less I would have failed your father, and you.  I was seriously disturbed by what I discovered about his habits.”

“But why has he not told me how much you have done to assist him?” she asks, still finding this whole revelation difficult to believe.

“I suspect that he may be embarrassed by the fact that he could not afford to do it alone.  Should he succeed he might tell you then.  I truly don't know Georgiana, but if it troubles you then simply ask him."

"Does it not annoy you, that he would allow me to think he has not had your help?"

"Not at all.  I don't want him indebted to me.  I wish for the exact opposite; for him to feel free of obligation to anyone."

“Oh ... but you already knew his history and you told me nothing!” she declares accusingly.

“Yes.  I tried to protect you, but by failing to inform you of his gambling I unwittingly invited your scorn and loathing down upon my own head.  There are many who would pursue you for your wealth, and when I learned of his circumstances I believed him the worst kind of fortune hunter, attracted to your inheritance because of his debts.”

“He was,” she says sadly, “I see that now.  He boasted about it in the gaming house.  But he is sorry for that, as he had no idea that it would put me in danger.  He was as naive as I.”

“I agree.  I realised he loved you after all.  It was Charlotte who changed my thinking.  Some of what you’re saying to me now is exactly what she said to me in London.  That’s why I brought him back to Bedford Place, for a proper parting.  Charlotte insisted that a man should not be condemned for one terrible mistake.  Looking back on my own history I realised she was right.”

“So you are not surprised we are writing to each other,” she says in wonder.

“No.  In truth, I expected this, and I’m glad of it.”

Astonished now, she exclaims, “Glad of it?  What can you mean?”

He frowns a little, asking hesitantly, “You have found it in you, to forgive him?”

“Yes.  It has taken much time and many tears, but I have.  I love him.”

With a slight nod of his head he replies, “I believed as much.”

Georgiana is overcome with a rush of feelings.  Elated, she crosses the room and throws her arms round Sidney's waist, burying her head into his chest.

“Oh Sidney, I have judged you so harshly!  I am sorry, please, please forgive me!” she cries, weeping into his shirt.  Sidney is startled, holding his arms out away from her at first, and then gradually bringing his hands to her shoulders.

“You surprise me Georgiana!” he says, laughing, “In my wildest imaginings I would not have thought to be embraced by you in this lifetime!”

She giggles a little, then pulls away, looking up to him, tears still running down her face as she replies, “I surprise myself!  But please, do try to forgive me?”

“I’m happy we’ve found some common ground.  I sincerely hope that can continue.”

“Then you will bless our attachment after all?  That cauterised heart of yours will forgive us both?” she asks, a small mischievous smile lighting up her tearstained face.

“Hah!” he says, smirking at her attempt at humour.

She grins cheekily now, poking at his chest as she asks, “You do actually have a heart in there?”

Sidney grins along with her, feeling an ease with her he has never experienced before, as he retorts, “Georgiana, I’m not as loathsome as you’d have others believe, and yes, I do have a heart.”  His face becomes more serious as he tries to explain his understanding of what she has endured over recent months, “But in fact, it’s far from cauterised right now.  I know exactly how you feel, unable to stand with the person who means most in the world to you, loving someone completely but having circumstances tear you apart.”

Georgiana stills, as she realises he is thinking sadly of his own experience.

“Oh, I ... I am so sorry Sidney,” she says softly, “thank you for not refusing us.  I have realised you were right to be suspicious.  But events have convinced Otis to abandon gambling.  He has turned over a new leaf ... and he is most grateful, to you for paying the debts.  He aims to pay back every penny.”

“Georgiana, this was not a loan.  I didn’t pay his debts to place him under obligation to me.  I simply gave him the opportunity to start afresh.  I did for him as your father did for me.”

Georgiana is quiet as she considers his words, and then she nods as they share a smile.  She thinks perhaps Sidney may be amenable to her wishes for the future after all.  She decides now is the time to visit this hope.

“Then, should he propose marriage when he is granted shore leave ... will you allow me to accept? Not have to wait even longer than we have already?”

“Whoa-ah!  Wait a mo-o-oment!  That’s ... something I’ll need to think on,” he says, stretching out his words.  “I apologise for having kept you apart, but I owed it to your father to keep you safe. I needed to trust whoever your suitor might be and I felt something was amiss with Mr Molyneux.”

“Well, reluctant as I am to admit this, you were right!”

“But wrong in the way I managed it.  I was suspicious of others’ motives after my own experience.  I didn’t want you to suffer the same heartache I had.  But the measures I put in place failed spectacularly, as we are all acutely aware,” he answers, his tone indicating regret.

“I think of this often, Sidney, and feel ashamed that I have not tried to understand what you have endured, and how it affected your view of Otis ...  and I am sorry, that you and Charlotte are unable to be together.”

“Thank you.  I value your opinion more than you know.  As for you and Otis, as long as he can prove he’s conquered gambling – which will not be easy, as such recuperation can take time – then as your guardian I’ll be inclined to agree to your marriage.  We shall see though, hmm, should he seek me out for that conversation.”

“Thank you ... and Sidney, I should have said long ago, I cannot thank you enough for your care for my safety in London.”

“All was well in the end, thanks to Charlotte,” he replies softly, “and we’ve both learned much from the experience.”

“Yes, indeed.  But as I said yesterday, your sacrifice for Sanditon, it is utterly unreasonable.  There is another way.  I have spoken at length with Lady Susan on this.”

“Lady Susan!” he exclaims, “When?”     

“Just this morning, in fact.”

“Aha!  So this is your reason for barging in here in such a state of excitement,” he says, enlightenment dawning.  “Lady Susan is in Sanditon, of course, Babington told me that.”

“She is a guest with Lady Denham, returning to London tomorrow I believe,” Georgiana goes on, “I was invited to Sanditon House for a meeting this morning with several people who will invest. Lady Susan sent her carriage for me.  The group includes the Babingtons, Mr Crowe, and Arthur and Diana.  We discussed how to gather the funds to meet Tom’s debt.  Lady Susan already has written promises from others in London.  Lady Denham has decided to give Tom a further six months to obtain all the funds and repay what he owes her.  She will then be happy to continue with her own investment.  Lord Babington has persuaded her I believe, to take a more moderate view.”

“Yes, she’s already written to me of that.  What did you mean, the money is immediately available?” he asks, unable to prevent a stirring of hope.

“The group of investors only needs a further twenty-five thousand pounds to clear the full amount of your brother’s debt!”

There is a moment’s silence, as Sidney hears loud and clear Georgiana’s unspoken question.

“And here we are again, back at the sticking point,” he says, his voice betraying deep disappointment, “Georgiana, the answer is ‘No’.”

Chapter Text

The Sanditon Flyer slows to a stop at the coach station.  Not waiting for the attendant, a young man in smart attire opens the door and jumps down, turning to walk swiftly to Mrs Griffiths’ boarding house.  On arrival he taps smartly on the door with his cane, as if in a hurry to be admitted.

Startled by the urgent rapping on the front door, Mrs Griffiths hurries to open it and is frozen in place by what she sees.  Mr Otis Molyneux, the man Sidney Parker had banished from Sanditon many months ago stands before her looking like a gentleman of prestige.

“Good morning madam, I am Mr Otis Molyneux.  I hope you are well.”

“Yes ...” Mrs Griffiths stammers, “Quite well ... thank you.”

“I wish to speak with Miss Georgiana Lambe, if she is available,” he states firmly.

Mrs Griffiths is horrified that her morning has been ruined by this gentleman’s appearance at her door.  Clear in her mind is Mr Sidney Parker’s instruction that she never allow this man access to Miss Lambe again.

“I am ... sorry Mr Molyneux ... but you have ... had a wasted journey,” she stammers nervously, “Miss Lambe is ... not ... receiving visitors.”

“May I at least be allowed to leave her a message?” he asks, frustration creeping into his tone.

“I recognise you, Mr Molyneux,” Mrs Griffiths says, regaining some composure, and now feeling brave, “I believe you would be well aware that I cannot allow you to speak with Miss Lambe.  Mr Parker was quite clear on this.”

Otis is deeply disappointed, but knows there is nothing to gain from arguing with this woman.  He takes a bow, tells her he regrets troubling her and moves away. Feeling lost, not knowing anyone in Sanditon other than Georgiana, and Charlotte if she is still residing with the Parkers, he decides to look for Charlotte at Trafalgar House, hoping she can convince Sidney Parker to rescind his order and allow him to visit at the boarding house.  First he will take a room at the Crown Hotel.  Thinking that Mr Sidney Parker may well be in London at the present time, Otis is prepared to wait here in Sanditon for as long as it takes to gain his approval.

*  *  *

Georgiana is becoming desperate.  She must convince Sidney to agree to her contribution to the Sanditon project and time is marching on.  She explains that the group will be visiting soon with the intention of finalising the agreement.  Her confidence in the group of investors and their ability to drag Sanditon up to a worthwhile resort impresses Sidney, and he is struggling to remain strong in his determination to have nothing to do with her money.  She has already expressed her determination to support the project and it is difficult to maintain his resolve.  He is disappointed it is still down to the Lambe inheritance to pull Tom out of the fire if he’s to void his engagement with Mrs Campion.  The fact that it will take so long to turn the project into something profitable is daunting, and he would prefer to leave Georgiana's investments as they are, bringing in comfortable earnings for her.  She should not be involved with this risky operation.  If only he had the resources to cover this amount himself!

The £80,000 that Tom had estimated after the fire was far from the full amount owing, as he had not accounted for invoices for substantial costs incurred on furniture and fittings for the apartments.  With Sidney unable to obtain funds from the banks on his behalf prior to the Regatta, Tom had made these purchases on credit as part of his promotional strategy, and in his usual way had not limited his spending.  As payments were due within fourteen days of delivery, Sidney had been forced to meet these urgent amounts himself in order to avoid asking for help from Eliza, and the outstanding accounts now stand at Tom’s original estimated amount of £80,000.  Unfortunately, although paying the accounts himself would not make Sidney beholden to Eliza, it had depleted his own funds and with loans already in place for his own business, he cannot borrow more.  The little he now has spare must be kept available to pay the workers’ wages for some time to come.

There must be something he can do, but at this point frustration is clouding his thinking.  His success in business over the years has come not through risk taking but through prudent decisions, and having to take over full management of a precarious state of affairs such as Tom has created is something new to him.  It angers him that Tom has taken such risks with other people’s money, and that his own financial position at this time is the result of bailing out this brother more times than he should have.  It will not happen again.

Concerned by his troubled countenance, Georgiana suddenly moves forward again and holds him tightly.  He is nonplussed.  This is a different Georgiana, surely?  This behaviour is the last thing he would have expected, and would have embarrassed him immensely only recently. In fact he is sure that until her recent letter she was so resentful of him she would have scoffed at the very suggestion she might engage in any display of care and affection for him. He allows her to embrace him again, not feeling comfortable with it, however, in view of the fact that he is refusing her request.

*  *  *

Elsewhere in the house, all is quiet.  Mary is sleeping and Charlotte has taken this opportunity to go back to her room to write a letter to her family.  A maid appears at her open door, and alerts Charlotte to the fact that an impeccably attired young gentleman has arrived, asking to speak with Miss Heywood about an urgent matter.  Intrigued, Charlotte goes to the door, astonished on recognising the visitor.

“Otis!  Oh my sainted aunt! What are you doing here?” she exclaims, her hand flying to her throat.

“Good morning Miss Heywood, it is a pleasure to see you.  I beg your pardon if I have startled you.  I wonder if you might indulge me – I need to speak with someone as a matter of urgency.  You have always shown kindness ...”

“Oh Otis, yes of course, come in,” she replies, moving aside for him to enter.

His hat and cane taken care of, Otis follows Charlotte somewhat awkwardly into the drawing room, carrying a satchel over one shoulder.

“What is it Otis?” she asks.

“I do not know how to begin,” he says hesitantly, “I tried to visit Georgiana, but the landlady refused me entry to the boarding house. I have news to share with Georgiana, but I was reminded sternly of Mr Sidney Parker’s instruction that I never see her again. I had hoped he might have relented somewhat in his opinion of me.”

“I think you would find that he is much more accepting of your communicating with Georgiana now.  In fact, they are both here today.  Shall we test my theory?”

Suddenly nervous, Otis smiles nevertheless and follows Charlotte to meet with Sidney and Georgiana. Entering the study, Charlotte moves to the side to allow Otis admission. The first thing that greets their eyes is his beloved embracing her guardian.

“Ahem,” Charlotte clears her throat. 

Both Sidney and Georgiana look up at the same moment, to see Otis watching them, his expression surprised, to say the least. They break apart, Sidney apparently embarrassed, but Georgiana squealing in excitement at the apparition before her.  She rushes to Otis, forcing him off balance and knocking his satchel to the floor as she throws herself against him, unable to believe that the very person she has been discussing with her guardian is in the room. Charlotte looks to Sidney’s startled face, and begins to laugh, sharing in Georgiana's excitement.  Otis, embarrassed to have Georgiana clinging to him but delighted all the same, tries to greet Sidney with the fear in the back of his mind that this little welcome from Georgiana might be frowned upon for lack of propriety.

Sidney, however, seems to take it all in stride in spite of his own surprise at Otis’s appearance, at the very time when he has been the subject of this discussion with Georgiana.

“Mr Molyneux,” Sidney says drily, “this is a surprise.”

“Sir, I beg your pardon, it was not my intention to intrude,” Otis replies, trying to extract himself from Georgiana’s tight hold.

“Sidney! I assure you I did not know!”  Georgiana exclaims, before turning back to Otis, “Why are you no longer at sea?”

“It appears you are quite the expert at appearing in Sanditon without warning, Mr Molyneux!” Sidney says, smirking, hands on hips, while Charlotte is tempted to suggest ‘popping up when least expected’, but holds her tongue.

“Oh, my apologies Mr Parker, but it is most important –”

“Relax, I speak in jest,” Sidney replies, smiling as he extends a hand to Otis, “You have shore leave then?”

“Ah, yes, but in fact I have news,” he says, accepting the handshake, “I would have written to Georgiana but this is too important, so I have come ... I also wish to tell you of it sir, as you have shown me such kindness and this news changes everything for me.  It is momentous. I am still trying to take it in. I wish to share it with those who I know truly care for my welfare.”

“So what is this news then?” Sidney asks, hoping it will not bring distress to Georgiana.

Otis glances at Georgiana again, as if to draw her attention, before addressing Sidney directly. "I have received an inheritance, sir.”

Sidney’s face shows surprise but he remains quiet, hearing Georgiana’s sharp intake of breath.

“Oh! How wonderful!” Georgiana cries, “How has this happened?”

Otis looks around them all, before beginning his explanation, “I was contacted by a solicitor in London and invited to a reading of the will of my former owner.”

His description of his former status makes both women gasp, and Sidney cannot help a tightening of his facial features.

“Go on,” he says gently.

“I was confused as to why I should be invited to this meeting, but as it transpired, I was named as one of several beneficiaries. Three other slaves, who worked with me and were freed with me, have also been named.  There were some complications as one of the other beneficiaries was difficult to locate, but all is now well and proceeds will be forthcoming within the next two weeks.”

The room is quiet as he looks at each of them in turn, his chest tightening.  He clears his throat, as he speaks again, “I will be a wealthy man,” he says, his voice hoarse with emotion, “in control of the sum of forty thousand pounds.”

Chapter Text

Otis picks up his satchel, removes a document and holds it out to Sidney.

“I would appreciate if you could read over this and agree to advise me sir.  While I have managed small amounts before, I am at a loss to know where to begin with investing such a sum.”

Sidney skims the content of the document and returns it, offering his sincere congratulations.

Otis then continues, attempting to control his nervousness, “First and foremost, I thank you again for finalising my gambling debts.  As you see, I now have the means to repay you.”

“There is no need, I think it should be left in the past and we all move forward now,” Sidney replies.

“No.  Sir, I must do this.  I am well aware of what my life would be without your help.  You were under no obligation.  You did this for me for no personal gain, and I will never forget your kindness. You are a good man, Mr Parker, fair, just and compassionate.”  Otis looks contrite and even a little embarrassed as he continues, “I regret that I have allowed others to think otherwise by expressing an opinion to the contrary.”  Glancing at Charlotte he knows she will understand he is referring to his statement to her about Sidney, months ago.

"Thank you,” Sidney replies, “but as to repayment, I only ask that you treat Georgiana with the respect and affection she deserves.”

“I have been given a second chance,” Otis says, “I will not squander it, sir.  The details of my new situation will take two weeks to finalise, but may I be bold enough to solicit your advice on possible investments for my sudden wealth?”

“Of course,” Sidney replies, “I’ll make time to meet with you and introduce you to appropriate business acquaintances.”

There is a slight pause, as all take in the significance of this news.  Charlotte suggests that they take tea, and Sidney chuckles, suggesting that perhaps a stronger beverage might be appropriate for celebrating this change in fortune for Otis.  He moves to pour drinks for all, as conversation resumes, and the room becomes filled with excited talk.  Looking around Sidney finds that for the first time in many weeks there is actually something to celebrate and feel genuinely happy about.

 “Otis, will you ask the question of Sidney?” Georgiana says suddenly, looking hopefully to her beloved.

There is a sudden hush over the room.  Otis shrugs his shoulders awkwardly, reaching his hand to his throat and fiddling with his cravat.  He is reluctant to speak of a future with Georgiana, afraid it is far too soon.  For now, he is happy to simply be in the same room, without disapproval from her guardian.  He thinks back to the night in London which has plagued his every moment as he has worked to become a man worthy of Georgiana's affections.  He recalls his fear at Sidney’s anger with him, the strength with which he was forced against a wall and the threatening words that filled him with guilt for his actions.  These memories now keep him silent.

“Otis?” Georgiana asks, confused by his apparent reluctance.  

“I believe it is too soon, Georgiana,” he replies, as he glances towards Sidney, “I have much to do to prove my worth.  Perhaps I could ask if I may seek a courtship.”

Sidney is suddenly serious as he asks, “When did you last frequent a gambling house, Mr Molyneux?”

“Not since that terrible, terrible night sir,” Otis replies, “I could never be so reckless and foolish again.  I learned a great deal that night.  To even contemplate such action again ... how disrespectful it would be to the woman I love, and to you who have shown me such kindness as I have never found from any other man.  I know it in myself, I have changed.  I have no desire to enter such premises again, as long as I live.  And this is largely down to you, sir.”

Charlotte speaks up quickly, suggesting that they might prefer she not be present for this discussion but Otis asks her to stay.  She looks to Sidney who glances at the other two before giving her a slight nod.

“As you wish,” Charlotte says quietly, moving to the background.

“What are your hopes then, with regard to my ward?” Sidney asks.

“Might I at least ask your indulgence, to allow me to court Miss Georgiana?” Otis replies hopefully.

 “Is that all?”

“It is as much as I dare to hope for at this time, sir. If I can prove my sincerity, I wish to eventually ask for Miss Lambe’s hand in marriage. I realise–”

“I am satisfied that you are sincere,” Sidney interrupts, “You do not need to ask, I give you my blessing, with a specific proviso.  Gambling is not easily left in the past.  No man is perfect; none of us is beyond reproach.  Some men imbibe and become lost to drink.  You became lost to gambling, and while you may believe now that you have conquered it, we need to witness that you can continue to stay away from those establishments.  I do not doubt your sincerity.  But time will tell if that sincerity has won over temptation.  I ask that your engagement is of sufficient length for you to know that this demon is no longer even a shadow in your life.  This will also allow you and Georgiana time to know each other better.  So, the idea of courting is not a bad one.”

“I am grateful sir, that you have at least given me this hope for a future with Miss Lamb.  I will not disappoint her, or you.  I gambled because I was poor.  I boasted about my connection to her because I wanted to be given a chance to improve my lot.  In my ignorance I believed I could thus acquire wealth to assist my brothers who are in dire need of help to be freed from slavery.”  He looks to Georgiana, then back to Sidney as he adds, “My intentions were honourable.  My methods were not.  You made me aware of that, for which you will always have my gratitude ... as will Miss Heywood, for without the determination of both of you in saving Miss Lambe, I would have lost my reason for living.”

Sidney, while thinking that anyone can give such a pretty speech, realises that this is from the heart of a man very much changed.  Nodding at Charlotte, he responds to Otis, “Indeed Miss Heywood has my own gratitude on that score.  Without her by my side I would have failed.”

“I thank you, Miss Heywood,” Otis says humbly to Charlotte.

“Having Georgiana home safe is all the thanks I need,” she replies with a warm smile.

“Well then,” Sidney says, “if Georgiana still wishes to make her future with you I will simply ask that your engagement is of at least three months’ duration.  I believe her father would want that, and so would be happy to give his blessing.  Just ensure that no matter what other things are important to you, Georgiana will always come first.”

Georgiana gasps, squeals, and then begins to cry, rushing to Otis for a strong embrace, then to Sidney and Charlotte in turn, babbling through happy tears about her joy and gratitude.

Sidney and Charlotte pull away from the excitement, Sidney suggesting, “I believe we should give them a moment alone?  I am sure Otis has a specific question for Georgiana.”

“Yes, of course!” Charlotte agrees, as she and Sidney share a knowing look, leaving the room and closing the door behind them, to retreat for a short time to the drawing room.

Otis immediately takes Georgiana's hands and says with trembling voice, “I did not expect to have this opportunity so soon, but I am glad of it.  Georgiana, you know I love you.  I told you in London that I would never forgive myself for putting you in harm’s way.  That is still true.  I also told you that I did not care a damn for your fortune.  That, also, is still true.  What is difficult to believe is that you have managed to forgive me.”

“You made a mistake.  Even Sidney could see that you deserved a second chance.”

“It would take the rest of my life to try to find the words to tell you what you mean to me.  I am in awe when I think of your beauty, your wit, and your charm.  You are a light in the darkness for me. It is true, what I told you then, I fell in love with your soul.”

“Oh Otis! I love you. That too will never change.”

He looks longingly into her eyes, and says, “Georgiana, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

“Yes.  I wish with all my heart to become your wife.  The honour will be mine.”

*  *  *

“Well then,” Sidney says softly, “this is a turn of events!”

“Yes,” Charlotte replies, “I am so happy for Otis.  After the difficult life he has had, it is as if he has now finally been rewarded.  He can hold his head high and follow his dreams.  Thank you for giving him your trust.  I am sure he will prove it is well placed.”

“Generous as always in your assessment, Miss Heywood,” Sidney says with a warm smile, “you are the most compassionate person I know.”

“I don’t know if I deserve such praise!”  she exclaims, “there are times my thoughts are not so generous, but I will not speak further on that."  She then adds, “but you must take credit; it was kind of you to give Otis a new start.  I was much impressed at Bedford Place when he told me his debts had been paid, and I realised what you had done for him.  Not many men would be so charitable, especially after the trouble he had caused for your ward.”

“I acted on wise counsel from a very dear friend,” he replies, his eyes shining with admiration.

“Oh.”

“Yes.  You, Charlotte.  Thank you.”

Charlotte looks up to into his kind face.  She has no words.  Overcome with a profusion of emotions, she hastily takes leave, muttering that she must let Mary know of Georgiana’s visitor, and her exciting news.  He smiles fondly as she rushes for the stairs.  He then turns as Georgiana's face appears round the door and she invites him back into the study.

Chapter Text

“Where is Charlotte?” Georgiana asks, speaking rapidly.

“Upstairs, telling Mary of your good news,” Sidney replies.

“Good, now Sidney, listen to us, we have only a little time, we have a solution to your problem with Tom’s debt!”

“Oh, no,” he groans, “not again.”

“Yes, but this time you cannot reject the proposal. Otis and I have agreed –”

“Yes, sir, we can do this,” Otis joins in excitedly, “we need not touch Georgiana's money.  I will have more than enough to cover the shortfall that she has just told me about.”

“Otis, this is your chance to make your own way,” Sidney argues.

“I will make my own way,” Otis insists, “I will still have enough to create other wealth, with your help. Did you not build up from nothing?”

“Yes, but, I was not trying to save a whole town from poverty first!” he says in exasperation.

“From what Georgiana has just told me, you are more than halfway to your goal. I wish to repay your kindness, and the opportunity is here, now.  In truth, I can never do enough to repay –”

“I cannot ask you to do this!  You would not see any return on this money,” Sidney says firmly.

“Sidney you are missing an opportunity –” Georgiana begins.

“Georgiana,” Sidney interrupts, exasperated with her determination to ignore reality, “the last word you should use to describe this throwing of money at Tom’s disaster is ‘opportunity’.  That is exactly what it is not!  Can you not see?  This money is not an investment to build on what is already there – because there is nothing there!  The only things my brother has given us are ashes on the ground, and a financial hole that this money will simply pour into, for no return.  This is not an investment.  This is simply the payment of money to people Tom owes. Once paid it is gone.  At that point, if it seems feasible, we will have to start again, from nothing. And everyone who has contributed will have nothing to show for it.  Nothing!  This is why I've not asked friends to assist in clearing this debt.  It is money that must be paid out to others, money Tom Parker had no right to squander.  If you wish to make profits from this project, you will then have to invest anew.  You will not see a penny of return for these twenty-five thousand pounds.  I repeat, it is not an investment.  It is payment due for goods or services already rendered.  I do not know how to make this more clear.”

“I see.  I did not think of it in that way.  But ... the men are working ...” she says, puzzled, “Are they not rebuilding?”

Sidney sighs, before answering, “They've only been clearing away the ruins, which is in itself a very time-consuming activity, and for which I am personally paying their wages.  Plans are drawn up for new buildings, but I do not see a way for it to go ahead in the near future, without Eliza Campion's money.  Very soon there will be no more clearing work and I will have to find something for them to do. I’ve not yet thought out what that will be.”

“I am sorry.  I did not realise ... so all this money being acquired is to simply cover debts ... but Sidney,” she says, her voice softening, “I do not care.  If your friends are prepared to part with their wealth in this way, for you and Charlotte, then Otis and I must join them!”

“You should keep your current investments,” he replies on a sigh, “as they pay you well.”

“And I thank you for that.  Truly I do.  You have made certain my future is secure.  But as to ‘throwing money away’ on this,” she insists, “if you do not accept, then all the work our friends have put into this will have been in vain.  If you do accept, there will be rejoicing all over Sanditon and we will do then what you say is necessary.  We will invest more.  It is fortunate that we can afford to do so.  The workers will continue to be paid and however long it takes, we will see the town prosper and your family will be safe.  Best of all, you can be happy with Charlotte, the woman you love, who has also done so much for Sanditon.  She deserves this happiness, Sidney, as do you!”

All is quiet as Sidney paces the room, dragging his hand across his jaw, thinking through the possibilities to ascertain whether it is fair to accept what is being offered.  Is it fair to Otis, who has only now come into wealth, to take so much from him? Is it fair to Georgiana who has tried to contribute and been met with such resistance from him and had to bear his lectures about the impropriety of using her money? Then again, Otis wants to help, just as Georgiana does. Is it a better thing to allow him to do so, to perhaps assuage his guilt?  This young man will in time become family.  He wishes to contribute, just as Sidney has been doing all these years for Tom.  And Charlotte ... is it fair to Charlotte to reject this offer, when she has suffered so much, and there is now a chance that they can finally ... finally ... oh, it is tempting ... it is what he wants ... so badly.

“Are you certain, Georgiana, that this morning’s calculations are accurate? That this twenty-five thousand is all that stands in the way of this alternative solution?”

“I am certain, Sidney,” she replies, excited again, “and in a few months’ time Otis and I will combine our wealth and still live comfortably – more than comfortably!”

“This is a great deal of money, Otis.  You have barely discovered your inheritance and you would give more than half of it away?” Sidney asks, still reluctant, but filled with new hope that perhaps this is meant to be.

“It is the least I can do sir, regardless of what the future is for this project.  You have said I owe you nothing, but my conscience tells me otherwise.  I wish to do this, no matter the future of this project.  I am more than ready to contribute, and it relieves me greatly that I am able to do so.  Please accept my offer.  Whichever way I look at it, this is an investment of a kind.”

“But it is a risky one!” Sidney exclaims.  He looks to Georgiana as he decides what to do, “As I have only your word to go on at this point, Georgiana, I believe I must go to Sanditon House, to speak with Lady Den –”

“They are coming here Sidney,” Georgiana interrupts excitedly, “as I said, they will come at noon. You can discuss it all in depth then.  We can introduce them to Otis and make definite plans!”

“As you wish, we will discuss it ... I hope this is fair to both of you ...” he says, trying to hide his new excitement at the thought of what might ensue, “but we must keep Charlotte away from this discussion.  I have no wish to get her hopes up if I am unable to offer her –”

“Oh, yes, of course,” she says quickly, “perhaps we can keep her busy with Mary, or the children ...”

Further discussion is halted as there is a commotion in the hallway, and the entire group from the meeting at Sanditon House is bursting through the doorway, the butler lost amongst them, trying to announce their arrival.

After the initial greetings, talk turns quickly to finance.  Susan outlines the situation for Sidney and Otis, and the group cannot contain its excitement at hearing Otis’s declaration that he is able and willing to contribute the shortfall.  All look to Sidney for his confirmation that he will accept this alternative and break his engagement. He is unable to speak or even nod in agreement, his heart running over with gratitude, but still feeling the weight of the stone round his neck that he had spoken of to Babington at Bedford Place.  Knowing now what he does about Eliza’s scheming, his fear is that she will stop at nothing to embroil him and Charlotte in a scandal, and gleefully thwart plans for Sanditon’s success.

After keeping them all on edge, all concerned that he is preparing to disappoint them, he finally manages to give voice to his fears.  At this, Esther steps forward, insisting he stop behaving as a vacillating, procrastinating fool and instead, find his lost resolve and think of the happiness he can have with Charlotte, compared with what he will have to endure if he does not break with Eliza Campion.

“But, the scandal –” he begins.

“To hell with the beau monde and its shabby scandals, Sidney!” Esther almost shouts, causing Diana to gasp in shock while the others in the room are smiling with delight.  “You have enough true friends here, to ignore all those ignorant fools in London.  Already, you do not think very highly of most of them, so why should you care?”

“For Charlotte’s sake,” he replies sheepishly.

“Charlotte does not give a fig for the beau monde’s snobbery and idiosyncrasies!” she declares.

Sidney stares at Esther, a look of befuddlement in his eyes.  She glares back at him, staring him down, waiting for him to see the sense behind her outburst.  Eventually, much to the surprise of all, Sidney begins to laugh.  His heart pounding with a wild joy that he is certain he is not entitled to feel, he laughs from deep within his belly, the full, spontaneous, rumbling sound of happiness long denied.

It is Arthur who reacts first, grasping his brother in a firm embrace, laughing with him, drawing the baffled stares of the others, until Babington joins in, with his infectious wheezy giggles.  Soon, all are laughing, filling the study with sounds of pure delight, sounds that have not been heard in this room in all the years that Trafalgar House has stood.

The strength of emotional release brings tears streaming down Sidney’s face.  His body feels light enough to simply fly away.  He has never known such a sensation.  Here, now, there is no longer any fear or indecision.  He feels only freedom, and the affection of close friends all around him, gathering in and protectively cocooning him with such loyalty and warmth that he cannot find words to express his gratitude.

When all have eventually recovered some composure, Sidney realises that the noise will have wafted upstairs.  He is anxious that Charlotte might arrive unannounced and question what the commotion is about.  He becomes very serious and finally finds his voice, to express his concern.

“Please, say nothing of this to Charlotte – or Tom – until I’ve spoken with Mrs Campion,” he says, wiping under his eyes with the backs of his hands, “I shall leave here presently.”

“Of course,” Susan agrees, “should she come upon us we will simply tell her we are here to see her!  It is a reasonable explanation, considering we are all visiting Sanditon, yes?”

Susan has barely uttered these words when Charlotte enters the room, and as Sidney has expected, she is inquisitive about the noisy merriment she has heard.  Lady Susan moves quickly towards her, embracing her and declaring her delight in Charlotte’s happy shock at seeing her. 

“We are catching up on so many things, Charlotte,” Arthur says, “Lady Susan is staying with Lady Denham and she had the idea that we all visit you.  So here we are!”

As greetings are expressed and the group crowds round Charlotte, the conversation centred on the reason for her recent return, Sidney quickly makes his way to Susan to express his thanks and advise her he will call on her in London after he takes care of the task now before him.  He then takes Georgiana and Otis aside to make arrangements for a meeting on his return, and asks them to watch out for Charlotte while he is away, to which they readily agree.  Finding it difficult to hold back emotion Sidney then quietly makes his way round the room, thanking each person individually for the caring and selfless contributions that have changed his life at last, for the better.

As much as Sidney longs to draw Charlotte away to speak privately with her of what has transpired, he knows that he must first secure Eliza’s acceptance of his decision to break this engagement.  Only then can he be certain of moving forward with Charlotte.  Still, he is feeling confident and happy.  His emotionally difficult decisions of last night while walking the beach alone are now fast flying away on the breeze of freedom that blows through his mind.

Mary has made the effort to leave her room, and she slowly descends the stairs, her entry into the study coinciding with Tom’s arrival home.  Watching Tom’s reaction to the crowd Sidney feels nauseated.  Far from making Mary’s comfort his first priority Tom begins to wave his arms and speak loudly in welcome to the group of people filling the room, seemingly insensitive to their rather cool response.  Sidney moves to assist Mary, but Charlotte, anticipating Mary’s need to rest takes her arm, leading her to a chair.  Sidney’s heart swells with pride as he sees that yet again she is putting another before herself.  How he loves her.  He will make this London trip as brief as possible and return to her, to ask her to share his world.

There is much celebration as the news of Georgiana's engagement to Otis is announced, Sidney expressing to all his delight that they have found happiness.  As a merry party is in full swing Sidney becomes anxious to leave for London, now eager to gain his freedom from this engagement.  Still angry with Tom, he decides he must put his confrontation with him on hold until his return.  Ignoring Tom’s babbling he seeks Charlotte out, telling her he must leave for London on urgent business for Otis and Georgiana. At his request that his horse be brought to the front of Trafalgar House, Susan states that she will also return to London tomorrow, giving Sidney a surreptitious wink. 

Sidney’s last word is with Mary, to whom he quietly says, “Take care till I am back, and please keep Charlotte cheerful if you can.  I may have some very good news when I return.”  He places a finger on his lips to indicate that it must be kept secret for now.  Her surprised gasp as she reaches for his hands and grips them tightly is enough to send him smiling from the room.

Sidney hurries upstairs to say goodbye to the children, and collects a few things he will need in London, packing lightly as he intends to return as soon as possible. Charlotte stands with the children outside the house, feeling heartbroken again as she watches Sidney swing up onto his horse. He knows she is watching, so gives her a brief nod and a kind smile.  It is difficult to remain so formal, but he knows there is too much at stake for him to surrender to the temptation of sharing his hopes with her and giving her the tender farewell he longs for.  He is committed to success on his own terms this time and feels well armed should he encounter resistance from Mrs. Campion, but experience has taught him that nothing is certain and he will not tempt fate; it is all too delicate as yet.

Georgiana comes to stand beside her friend.

“I fear I am looking at Sidney as an unwed man for the last time,” Charlotte says, looking forlornly after him.

“No, he has agreed to assist Otis with his inheritance,” Georgiana replies, “so there will be things he has to come back for.  Planning and such, you know. For now Otis will stay at the Crown.  Sidney will return from London in about a week's time to help Otis with whatever he feels unsure about.”

“If Mary is well by then I may have already left for Willingden,” Charlotte says sadly. “It is an all too painful thought, but I cannot help wanting to see him.”

Georgiana puts her arm around Charlotte’s shoulders, comforting her, as she says, “You will be alright Charlotte. You are the strongest person I know.”

“Why do I not feel that?” Charlotte ponders.

“Believe me. You will be alright. All will be well.”

Chapter Text

Rising early, Sidney is eager to deal with the day’s tasks, looking forward to finally putting an end to the injustices that have plagued him during this tormented period of his life.  Upon his return to Bedford Place yesterday he had made much ground dealing with his own business affairs and is confident he will be able to return to Sanditon without delay once the unpleasant task before him is completed.  His plan is to leave London at first light tomorrow.  He breaks fast quickly and looks through correspondence, deciding there is nothing of high priority, before heading out for this morning's task.

The destination this morning is his solicitor’s office, Sidney having secured this appointment immediately upon his return to London yesterday.  They proceed quickly with business, Sidney advising of his resolution to break the engagement, and explaining the reason for this decision.  Looking through the contract his solicitor notices that it has not been signed and asks the reason, presuming that their intention is to sign at the time of the marriage ceremony, as many couples do.  Sidney confirms that Eliza’s wish is to use the signing as a way of celebrating the marriage, but to do so at the time of setting a date for the ceremony.  At that time they would also have it mentioned in the newspapers' social pages, her way of making it official, even though they have already attended several recent events together and people are aware by now that they intend to marry.  He admits to the solicitor that if Eliza had her way the signing and the newspaper articles would already be completed, but he has been avoiding her requests to set a date.

Upon learning more of the circumstances from Sidney, the solicitor assures him that there should be no hindrance to withdrawal of this as yet unsigned contract.  Surprised – and confused – by this statement and wanting a firm assurance, Sidney questions the ease with which it seems to be dissolvable as he has actually verbally agreed to the arrangement, and his understanding is that this verbal agreement is itself a form of contract which cannot be broken, especially as it has become public knowledge, making the signing a mere formality. 

He is puzzled by the solicitor’s apparent nonchalance as he asks, “Who was your witness?” 

Frowning, Sidney looks back to the day of his terrible decision, the Campion drawing room dripping with opulence, this woman standing, looking at him with knowing eyes, smugly waiting for his agreement to this bargain to ensure his brother’s salvation from ruin.  He recalls that they were alone, without even a member of her staff in the vicinity. In all his tormented thinking, wishing for a way to terminate this terrible arrangement, he has forgotten that a verbal agreement requires at least one witness for it to be enforceable.  The fog lifts and he begins to smile.

“There was no witness!” he replies.

“Then you have no contract.”

With a joyful bark of laughter, Sidney jumps from his seat and holds his hand out to the other man.  “Thank you!  Thank you!” he almost shouts.

The broad grin that the solicitor rewards him with is a balm to his soul.  As a precautionary measure the solicitor advises him to make a statement regarding what he has learned of Mrs Campion’s actions during the week the banks refused his requests for loans.  This is completed, signed by Sidney struggling to control a shaking hand, and witnessed without fuss.  The solicitor tells Sidney he will contact Mrs Campion’s legal team to advise that as there is no legal agreement made as yet, Mr Parker has decided to not move ahead with a marriage contract.  Nothing further will be required.

Sidney leaves the office in a state of near-disbelief.  His body is trembling with sheer excitement after the solicitor’s revelation, and he wonders how he could have overlooked that he and Eliza had not met this requirement.  That this has been so simple, after the days and nights of agonising over what he might do, has him shaking his head at his own idiocy.  He places his hand over the pocket where he still carries Charlotte’s unfinished letter.  He feels her close, and hopes she will be as delighted as he is to find that he is free to offer for her hand after all.  Perhaps she will scold him for his ridiculous failure to realise this unwitnessed verbal agreement is not enforceable after all.  If she does, he will gladly accept any admonishment from her, as he has been such a fool!  He is eager now to get back to her, but knows he must try to settle his feelings directly; he needs a level head for the conversation which still lies ahead today.  His heart thumping so loudly that he thinks they must hear it in Sanditon, he returns to Bedford Place to gain some composure and put his thoughts in order before his visit to Mrs Campion.

*  *  *

After finalising some business matters and relaxing over a light midday meal Sidney is feeling perfectly calm as he heads out for his conversation with Eliza.  He has not bothered to bring his cane, and on arrival he refuses the servant’s offer to take his hat and coat.  He does not expect this visit to be easy but is hoping to make it as short as possible.  He anticipates of course that Eliza will react badly and is certain that she will resort to any number of tactics to thwart his intentions, but he is completely unruffled, especially knowing he has the advantage of surprise with what has been revealed to him this morning.  Eliza Campion has not yet seen the strong willed quality to Sidney Parker’s character, which has steadily developed over the years since she deserted him as a youth.  This might come as another surprise for her today.

Although angry with her, Sidney is resolved to exercise control and take a benign but firm approach to begin the conversation.  Not so long ago he might have had a strong desire for revenge, but today, especially as he has no need to fear for his freedom, he is prepared to try to part on amicable terms and he is thinking Charlotte would be proud of him for that.  How the discussion develops, however, will be anyone’s guess, and he has no intention of backing away from an argument if Eliza dares to resort to insults or untruths. It would be a fight she cannot win.  The simple fact is that there is not, and there will not be, an engagement.  He will give her time to absorb this information, but should she become offensive he can simply walk away.

As he is placing his hat on a table Eliza sweeps in.  She has spent much time since their last conversation preparing for a most agreeable meeting upon his return, convinced that she can make him forget whatever was vexing him at Bedford Place.  She is pleasantly surprised that he has returned to London and come to see her so quickly and, fixed on succeeding with her plan she does not notice his stern facial expression. 

Eliza greets him warmly, “Sidney!  You are back so swiftly!  I am glad to see you took me at my word! So you’ve come to set our wedding date.”

Sidney replies abruptly, “No, I’ve not.  In fact, I am here to speak of this, but not in the way you suppose.  Eliza, there is something I must tell you without delay.”  He takes a deep breath before continuing, “I did believe when I agreed to this engagement that it was the correct thing to do, for my family’s sake.  Believe me, I’ve tried to accept this.  But I find I cannot commit to this marriage after all.  I have come to the realisation it would be a grave mistake.”

Shocked by his words Eliza responds quickly, trying to make light of it as if he has attempted a joke, “Sidney!  That is ridiculous!  Of course you can commit to this!” she chides with a playful slap on his arm, attempting a light laugh to mask her anxiety, “You must not indulge in such banter –”

He interrupts without change to his tone, “I would not speak this way in jest.  I am sorry.  I cannot continue this charade.”

“Charade?  Charade?  Sidney!” she says, her voice suddenly fearful and shrill, “Do not speak such nonsense.  What is this?  You are suffering wedding nerves that is all.”

“No.  Forgive me, but I have thought at great length on this, and I must tell you, I cannot marry if not for love.  When I agreed to marry you we both knew that I do not love you.  I had made that clear before you left Sanditon after the Regatta.  When I came to you seeking help for Tom, you knew that was the sole purpose in my arriving at your door and in the first instance, you will remember, you turned me away.  I do not need to remind you that I only entered into this marriage bargain at your insistence, for my family’s sake, and to help my brother to pay his debts.”

“Yes, of course Sidney, as you say I was well aware of that and I find it perfectly acceptable,” she replies, having regained a little composure, “it is natural that you would be a little unsure after all this time.  But I am still the same person I was when we adored each other so much all those years ago.  You will soon feel again what you felt for me before.  It will be exciting for you to fall in love again!  You will come to love me as I do you.  There is no rush.  We have all the time in the world.”

Sidney cannot help feeling irritated by her arrogant claim, but maintains his composure as he continues, “I am well aware that you regard this as acceptable, but it is unacceptable to me.  I cannot marry without equality of affection between us.  As we had re-established a friendship I hoped that this would develop further, that I could love you again, as I once did, but I was wrong.”

They stand looking at each other, and although she is already sick with worry, she is giving him her most demure look, trying to win him over by being coquettish, a skill which usually works in her favour.

Sidney sighs, looking directly at her, “Forgive me, but I simply cannot.  I am sorry.”

Her demeanour changes immediately.  She is angry now.

“Then I will sue you for breach of promise!” she declares, her eyes squinting and her face reddening in sudden rage.

He is startled by her swift change in attitude, but not surprised by her words, having expected strong resistance from her.  Keeping to himself the knowledge that there is in fact no engagement, he asks softly, “So you would create a scandal?”

He pauses, holding her gaze, but she does not reply.  Rather than tell her yet that there is nothing she can do, he decides he will make this woman admit to her treacherous activities that have brought him – and Charlotte – so much pain.  He will continue this conversation remaining calm and composed, and allow her to fall on her own sword.

“Go ahead then, if that makes you feel better, but it will not change my mind, and in fact it will prove one thing – you do not love me.”

“Not love you?  How could you suggest such a thing?  You know very well that I have waited ten years to be with you again!  I am simply shocked that you would consider abandoning me.”

Sidney asks quietly, “As you did me?”

Eliza’s face hardens, and she turns away to avoid his penetrating gaze.

“I was young and inexperienced.  I did not realise...”  She spins back to face him.  “Sidney you forget, we have an agreement, a contract.”

Knowing he could bring her argument undone in an instant with what he has learned this morning, he chooses instead to force her confession as to the measures she took in preventing his success with the banks.

“Ah yes, as to that ... I didn’t intend to draw this into the conversation, but you know as well as I, your activities in regard to this contract are in fact in breach – you have rendered it not worth the paper it is written on – would you not agree?”

“What...wh...What are you speaking of?  I do not understand ...” she says, looking genuinely very confused.

“You do not recollect the conditions?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, “Well then, allow me to remind you.  Under the terms of the agreement our entry into marriage was to be dependent upon the need for funds should I not be able to negotiate finance through the usual lending houses.  But you had taken steps already had you not?  Steps you believed necessary that week, to ensure that my securing such funds was rendered impossible, thus ensuring I would accept your invitation to return to discuss your business proposition.  Questionable steps indeed ... but you failed to be discrete, Eliza.  You have not been careful enough about your manipulative activities, it would seem.”

Eliza gasps, looking like a child caught with a hand in the sweets jar.  Her guilt is obvious as she gapes at Sidney, unable to utter a word in her defence, and knowing there is no longer a need to question his meaning.

Chapter Text

Sidney is now silent, holding Eliza’s attention with a cold, steady gaze.  She takes in his bearing and facial expression; he exudes contempt. He waits for her to speak, either to admit her duplicity or to ask what he knows.  Initially she is willing to play his game, convinced that she can win any battle of wills by meeting his glare and forcing him to be the one to break the silence.  After all, she is in the position of power; put simply, he needs her.

An intense stillness prevails however, as he continues to stare, until with sudden awkwardness she finds she must drop her gaze, having no idea what she should say and realising he will not speak first.  She is not used to relinquishing control, and this sits poorly with her.  She feels the heat of embarrassment and desperately tries to think of a way to gain the upper hand.  She chooses to appear bewildered, and to use this as a coy ploy to elicit some statement or question from him, hopeful that he will take pity.

Eventually, Eliza realises Sidney is not going to help her.  He will stand before her, biding his time, not for her sake, but to make her squirm.  He will wait as long as it takes for her to confess what she has done to secure his hand in this dishonourable marriage bargain.  She fears he will be ruthless if she tries to play the innocent, but she is unsure of how to proceed.  Too late, it becomes clear to her that she does not really know him after all.  She has taken him for a fool, but he will not be played.  He is not the naive youth of ten years ago, ready to do her bidding, putting her first, ever eager to please.  He will be a formidable opponent should she antagonise him.  It is disconcerting that he remains so calm, not a muscle moving.  She realises that he is not bluffing – he knows more than she would like.  It will not do to offend him; she must remain composed and think in business terms.  To keep her bargain alive she must deliberate quickly whilst playing for time by allowing him to believe she is overcome with confusion.

 “Wha...what have you been told?  Who has..?”  She allows her unfinished question to hang in the air.

Sidney says nothing, continuing his cold stare. 

Eliza resorts to cajoling, desperate to appeal to his compassion, “I have only done what I had to, because I love you!”

Hands behind his back he looks down to the floor and moves up onto the balls of his feet, appearing even more intimidating  to her with the slight elevation in height. He then drops back onto his heels taking some time to consider her statement. When he looks back up directly at her, she fears that her appeal leaves him unmoved.

“No.  You did not act out of love.  You would possess me.”

Eliza gasps, turning away.  He has not fallen for her demure attempt to reason with him.  She waves her hands about, and then whirls back towards him, in a sudden attempt to shift the blame, declaring, “This is Miss Heywood’s doing!”

Her outburst confirms his suspicions concerning her jealousy of Charlotte, and the insecurity she must feel knowing he loves another.  This is her way of establishing who the other woman is.  He completely ignores her taunt regarding Charlotte, bringing the topic back to her recent behaviour.

“Your actions were most surely not connected in any way with love, Eliza," he says, "and as to the earlier question of abandonment, we were both young when you left me, very young, but I could not have abandoned you as you did me.  I believed we were meant to be husband and wife.  It was you who ruined that dream.  Things are different now.”

“But you were so happy to reunite at the ball!  You sought me out!  You greeted me with such warmth!”

“When I saw you at the ball," he replies, "gracing me with your beckoning smile, I admit I was shocked, excited even, somewhat like the boy I was before you left me.  I was also confused.  I needed to speak with you, to understand, to find resolution to what had transpired all those years ago.  I did consider, briefly that yes, perhaps, you and I could take up again; that we were never truly finished.  But we have become too different for marriage to work for us.”

“Sidney you are wrong!”

He continues on, as if she has not spoken, deciding now to answer her accusation against Charlotte, in a way that will leave her in no doubt, “When you threw me over for Mr Campion I did my best to absolve you of any blame, persisting in the belief that you were perfect and that I was at fault for your desertion; at fault because I wasn’t wealthy enough.  While I was filled with self-loathing and resentment, I took it out over the years not on you, but on other women – including Miss Heywood – always aloof, indifferent and surly.  I am now ashamed of that, and it grieves me that I have hurt her so badly, but perhaps it was meant to be, that I remained alone until I met her.  I now know, through her gentle example, what love really is.  True, abiding love, not the calf-love felt by the naive young man that I was.”

Eliza’s voice quivers, proving her desperation, “Sidney, this is something we can work out together!”

Sidney remains very calm and quiet, again raising the eyebrow as he asks, “After you have just threatened to sue me?  I think not.  I draw a comparison for you here; Miss Heywood loved me – so much – that she was prepared to let me go.  You certainly did not give me that option ten years ago.  You simply disappeared from my life, leaving me to the shock of learning through gossip and newspaper accounts that you had married. You have no idea what pain I endured, and what destructive behaviours I engaged in to try to overcome it, to cope with your betrayal.  I became an embarrassment to my family and friends.  So, full of despair I went far away, to Antigua, where I saw such horrors and atrocities as you could never imagine.  I learned what real suffering was.  I grew away from the apparent niceties of England’s polite society, and although I have moved amongst the beau monde since my return, I do not fit with it.  Whilst you relish a place amongst it, I am filled with antipathy for its shallowness and selfish greed. I am a wiser man – in part because of my experiences but mostly because of the strength of character I find in Miss Heywood.”

“So!  She is in Sanditon!  How convenient!  You went back there to see her!”

“No, I did not, but she is there now, as it happens.  She is staying with Tom and his wife.”

Eliza pounces, believing she can finally take the upper hand, “You lied to me.  You said she was no longer in Sanditon.”

Sidney replies calmly, as if explaining to a fractious child, “I did not lie to you.  She had gone home.  I was surprised to find she’d returned.  I didn’t know Tom had sent for her to help Mary through her illness.  I did not even know Mary was ill until my ward wrote to me.”

Eliza is now very angry.  Seeing her chance sliding through her fingers she is gripped by jealousy so strong that she can only respond with spite.

“I should have seen this coming,” she declares, “I knew there was something going on between you and that girl as soon as we met her helping those children with that ridiculous sandcastle.  I knew there was something in your reaction when you saw her there.  And later, there you were, rowing that horrible boat, touching her hands, looking at her as if nobody else existed.  Despicable behaviour which I was even prepared to overlook, in spite of the fact it was in such a public place!  And,” she adds scornfully, as if suddenly struck with the realisation, “she was the woman I watched you dancing with in London, such scandalous conduct, holding her too close, gazing the whole time into her eyes!  Miss Heywood shamelessly staring up at you as well, and moving in too close!  I knew, Sidney, I knew she intended to win you away from me!”  Her eyes are blazing with the fury of a woman scorned.

Sidney refuses to rise to the bait, for a brief moment enjoying the memory of that wonderful dance.  He refrains from smiling, however, and concentrates on the argument Eliza is using to disgrace Charlotte for her part in this apparently shameless public behaviour.  Although his voice is still quiet, he is biting in his response, “She did nothing of the kind.  Have you even listened to a single word I’ve said?  She did not yet know who you were in London.  As for winning me away from you – I am not some trophy to be fought over, and Miss Heywood would never offend me by viewing me in such a way.”

“Ha!  You are still the gullible fool!” Eliza declares with disdain.

“No, Eliza," Sidney replies, seeing this as the time to enlighten this woman about his love for Charlotte, "not gullible.  Perhaps I was once, but I am now wiser for my experiences. You are mistaken in your determination to believe that I have not changed.  And as to Miss Heywood’s position in this, as a matter of fact she went away, to give me the chance to try to make you happy.  This, when she already knew that I had given her my heart.”

Eliza gasps, but seems unable to respond.

“And ‘those children’?  You speak of my nephew and nieces with disdain.  Those children are my family, Eliza.  Those children love Miss Heywood, and she loves them.  And yes, it is true, she does have my heart.  I am in love with her.”

Gasping again, incredulous, Eliza brings her hands up to her cheeks, colour draining from her face, but she still does not speak.  While Sidney notices, he is unable to feel concern for her at this moment; he has become impatient to finish this conversation.  He is feeling insulted, and not inclined to be conciliatory now.

With stony countenance, Sidney makes sure Eliza is in no doubt of his complete devotion for Charlotte, as he continues, “If that upsets you, and you wish to create a scandal about my decision to not proceed with an engagement, then so be it."

Finding her voice, with all the contempt she can muster, Eliza chokes out, "You can rely upon it!"

"I am sorry you feel that you must make a public mockery of a situation that is your own doing.  Should you choose to turn this into some pity-seeking public display, then I believe that it can only bring you more harm than it will me.  For my part, there has been no impropriety here, but in truth, I don’t care who knows how I feel about Miss Heywood.  So, think seriously before you make any attempt to disgrace her.  I will do whatever it takes to protect her, and your invidious conniving may come back to haunt you.”

Chapter Text

Sidney is done here.  He moves towards the table to collect his hat, his intention being to have a final word – to tell Eliza that the contract does not exist, due to the lack of a witness, and that her solicitors will be advising her of this presently.  He had also thought to wish her well but with her declaration that she will cause him and Charlotte public embarrassment he has decided he simply wants to leave this house and forget that he has ever allowed himself to be so badly duped by this woman, all for the sake of his irresponsible brother. 

Eliza, however, is not yet finished with him.  As he reaches for his hat, she rushes at him, startling him as she grips his arm tightly, her face contorted with rage.

“You stupid man!” she cries, her voice harsh and high pitched, “You cannot possibly feel love for this ignorant country girl!  Are you so taken in by a comely face that you cannot see she is after your fortune?”

He looks hard into her eyes, then down at the hand clutching at his arm, pausing a moment before he deftly twists out of her grip.  He looks back up to stare directly at her, ice in his veins, as he asks, “Are you really that arrogant that you would judge her inferior because of her place of upbringing?  Miss Heywood deserves so much better from you Eliza.”

Eliza’s voice has become shrill, “I cannot believe you are serious!  How could you have feelings for a village girl?  A farmer’s daughter?  You have nothing in common with her.”

“It shames me to say that I once thought as you do.  But I discovered very quickly that I was wrong.  Miss Heywood is highly intelligent, capable and very well educated.  Oh and by the way, she is in fact a gentleman’s daughter.  Not that she makes any point of that. In her opinion social status is neither here nor there.  The truth is, in all things, she is above me.  I have never known a woman her equal.”

“I cannot bear to listen to this!” Eliza howls.

“But you will listen, Eliza, because you need to hear this,” he continues, and although still speaking quietly there is steel in his tone, “I was not sure of my own feelings before the regatta, but through that day as I spent time with you I realised I could never find with you what I had believed I would.  Your distasteful remarks to Charlotte only served to help me realise how different you and I had become, and how much I wanted to shield her from your offense.  Unfortunately your insults took me so much by surprise that I did not defend her as I should have, but she dealt with it in a most dignified manner in spite of that.  I found no humour in your attempt to belittle her.  I have long ago left behind the gullible boy that you deserted.  I have learned also to put anger and resentment behind me and to embrace kindness.  I have tried – truly I have – to view a future for us which would include that kindness and lead to a happy life together.  In fact Charlotte insisted that I must.  But I have failed.  I cannot be anything but miserable, and if I am to be honourable and true I cannot set that misery onto you.”

“No Sidney, we can finally be happy!” she whimpers.

“Ours would have been a loveless marriage,’ he continues, ignoring yet another frantic change in her approach, “and I now know it would not have included trust or even mutual respect.  I do not wish to hurt or offend you, but I must tell you in all honesty, I can never love any other woman as I love Miss Heywood – she has brought me to life after years of heartache, years of believing that I was fated to remain alone.  It is with her that I can find what has been missing in my life all this time ... if she will accept me.”

Eliza has heard more than she can take.  She resorts to contempt, speaking with venom in her voice, “You forget yourself Sidney!  You need my wealth to help your pitiful brother out of his predicament!”  She moves very close to him, forcing her face forward at him, “Or are you prepared to see him go to prison?  Let his poor wife and children starve?  There would be shame in that for you, simply because they are your family!”

“Do not let yourself be troubled on that score.  There is always a way, if one is prepared to put in the work to find the investors.”

Eliza replies, gloatingly, “I think you may find that a little more difficult than you realise Sidney.  Do you not recall?  That is why you came to me in the first place!  I will not allow this.  We have a contract, and whatever you find displeasing about it, you cannot break it.”

“We both know why I was unable to obtain the funds from the usual sources.  Perhaps it would be wise for you to cease with your reference to that before you make an admission you will later regret.  But there is also something that I believe you have not considered, about this supposed contract.”

“Supposed?  What do you mean, supposed?” she asks, her voice raised in alarm.

“It is time to put you right on that.  The document was not signed.  It is not a contract.”

“You know very well that it was my intention to use our signing as a celebration of the agreement.  It is set in stone Sidney.  If you break it I will sue!  Do not doubt it.”

“I wish you luck with that,” he says, unable to resist a chuckle.

“You have no idea of the influence I have Sidney!” she says sharply, annoyed by his nonchalance and apparent amusement.

“Ah, but I do.  And in this case it amounts to nothing.  However much you may wish it otherwise, we do not in fact have a contract.”

“The signing is a mere formality!  We have an agreement!  It is public knowledge that we are engaged to marry. You cannot go back on it.”

“Eliza,”  he says firmly, “there is no agreement.  The written document is useless to you without a signature and the verbal agreement required a witness to be valid and enforceable.  There was no witness.  I have already sought advice on this.  We are not, in fact, engaged to be married.  Your solicitor will be advising you of my decision presently.” 

“Your decision?” she shrieks.

“I have decided against it,” is the quiet reply.

Eliza’s face has reddened during the argument but now loses all colour.  She stands looking incredulously at Sidney, unable to take in that she has missed this important detail when persuading Sidney to agree to her bargain.  While she stares at him, powerless to speak, he continues with a new thought.

“I took you for a very intelligent woman, Eliza.  For this reason I simply do not understand, why you would wish to become trapped in this farcical union, when you know that I do not love you.  You say you have waited ten years for us to be together.  I can only assume from this that your marriage to Mr Campion was not happy, and if that was the case, why would you choose to enter into such an unhappy union again?”

“You can love me again Sidney!  I know it!”

“No.  I cannot.  Do not deceive yourself with such a thought.  I have been honest with you today.  Now you must be honest with yourself.  I am deeply in love with another, and that will never change.”

Eliza is silent, having no answer.

“I think we are done here.”  Sidney says, moving again to pick up his hat.

Once again Eliza tries to delay him, hoping yet to swing the argument in her favour.

“Your brother’s debt is enormous Sidney,” she says hastily, “you will not find anyone else to cover it!”

“There will be a way,” he replies simply, feeling no need to enlighten her further.

Eliza laughs scornfully, “It will be amusing to watch your efforts fail. You will be back. There is nobody in London who does not know of your brother’s bungling in his business ventures.”

“He has bungled. But I am not a novice, Eliza.  I am respected in business, and knowing what you did I am now armed with what I need to convince those who can help.  Believe me; I will not need your wealth. I will not be back.”

Sidney runs a finger along the brim of his hat on the table, as he pursues another unanswered question. 

“In fact, it confounds me that you could have thought I would not discover your deceit.  I note that you have made no attempt to apologise for your fraudulent actions to trap me into this sham.  How could you believe I would tolerate this?  Or were you confident that by the time I should discover what you have done, we would already be wed, rendering me powerless to do anything against it?”  

“I – I ...” Eliza chokes out, a guilty flush again staining her cheeks.

“So, you believe you have a right to ruin others’ happiness if it is to fulfil your own selfish wishes.  What is it that makes you believe you should be so entitled?”

She looks to the floor, unable to respond.

“Oh Eliza," he says softly, "you have destroyed any chance we might have had to at least remain friends.”

Eliza is harsh in her response, “Go then!  Have a wonderful life with your village girl!  I will not settle for second best.  You have changed too much. I no longer know you!”

Sidney gives a cynical one-sided smirk, “I doubt you ever did know me.  I did not know myself.”

“Just go from my house!  Get out!” she shouts.

Sidney takes an unhurried step back, but before turning again to leave he says, “Oh, before I go, a word on how we wish for our separation to be seen – I have no desire to hurt you or have others pity you, but I also wish for this to be fair to me and I will be alert to what is spoken of it in public.  So, it needs to be acceptable to both of us.  Perhaps we might simply say that it is a mutual decision; that we have discovered we no longer share the love we did ten years ago, and will not be entering into an engagement after all.”

“Why should I make it so easy for you?” she snaps, “I am the jilted one here.”

After a pause, Sidney says softly, “I know exactly how that feels.”

Eliza flushes, says nothing and pouting again she looks away, her head held high.

His anger now gone, although he cannot feel affection for Eliza there is a sudden sentiment that he would like to help her see a better way for her own life.  Even in Charlotte's absence, he knows this is her influence on him, as he says kindly, “Eliza, please look at me.”

Eliza turns her face to him, now puzzled. 

“I want you to know I no longer feel resentment for the past.  I forgive you.”

Eliza turns fully towards him now, and says sharply, “What?  Forgive me?  For what?”

“For breaking my heart,” he replies softly, “for failing to apologise, or inquire as to how I had fared for all these years, in the wake of that heartbreak.  For behaving on meeting again as if that hurt was a mere nothing.”

“I knew you would survive Sidney,” she says snappishly.

Still speaking calmly and quietly, he replies, “No.  You knew it would destroy me.  And yet you have not taken the trouble to even ask how I struggled through the pain.  But that is no longer of importance to me.  I only mention it in the hope that you may begin to see that there is more to happiness in life than this superficial existence that you persist with.”

“How dare you insult me?”

“That is not my intention.  It is clear to me that you are unhappy, beneath the facade of your contentment with your social standing.  Money cannot buy happiness, Eliza.  It must come from changes one makes within oneself.”

“You have no idea of what I have endured Sidney!   Do not tell me what to do to achieve happiness!  We could have had again what we had in the past!”

“Ah, Eliza.  Your past is what you have made it, and my past is for me to account for.  As to our past, you appear to have no comprehension of what your betrayal did to me.  You say that you knew I would survive.  Quite simply, it is down to the kindness of others that I did.  Without such kindness I would not have found determination to rise up from my despair.  And the memory of it persuades me to part from you now without rancour, to have – finally, after all these years – a proper parting.”  

Eliza turns away unable to look at him.  In a small, tearful voice she whimpers, “I cannot bear to lose you Sidney.”

He thinks a moment, then softly replies, “One cannot lose what one does not have in the first place.”

Still looking away from him she does not respond.  He is unable to tell if she is genuinely grieving a love lost, sorry that she has lost this argument, or simply trying to use her wiles to convince him to change his mind.  Whatever it might be, he cannot find it in himself to feel concerned.  He does not, however, wish to antagonise her further.  What he has come to say has been said.  He has not sought to belittle her, but has simply told her the truth, asking for the same from her.  He can leave this house with a clear conscience.

“I wish you well, Eliza.”

There is no response; she continues to refuse to look at him.  Sidney picks up his hat.

“Eliza?”

He pauses, but as Eliza still remains silent, he turns swiftly and departs.

Upon hearing the main door close, Eliza screams, before lunging forward, sweeping papers and books off the nearby table.  Servants rush in to find her standing still, staring furiously ahead.  As they scurry to clear the mess she remains motionless for several minutes, then goes to her writing desk, and hurriedly scribbles a note.  She holds it out to one of the servants.

“Take this to Mr Simpson!  Immediately!”

Chapter Text

Sidney feels a rush of relief. Breathless with excitement and jubilation, he is sure his heart must burst with the happiness of this new freedom.  He can scarcely comprehend this liberation from the despair that consumed him little more than twenty-four hours ago. His head is floating, yet his feet are firmly striding the path.  If only Charlotte could be here to share his news!  He would take her in his arms and dance with her in the street!  He feels ten years younger, and ten feet tall.  He bounces up to a lamp post, grabs hold of it like a rascally boy, and spins his body around it, his coat swirling out.  Taking a couple of skips, he almost collides with an elderly couple taking a walk.

“Oh, forgive me sir, madam,” he says bowing slightly, too elated to be embarrassed, “foolhardy of me, but I am in the highest of spirits! I have just made the most momentous decision of my life!”

After their initial surprise they look highly amused, smiling back at him.  He bows again taking a couple of steps backwards and they all begin to laugh.

“Good day to you too sir,” replies the gentleman, “and the best of wishes!”

Grinning broadly Sidney holds his hand up in farewell and turns to be on his way while the couple watch him striding cheerfully to his waiting carriage.  They continue to chuckle before walking on in the opposite direction. 

Sidney is now eager to get back to Sanditon.  He would leave London straight away but it is already mid-afternoon, and as he has promised to visit Susan after this discussion he elects to stay with the original decision to leave London at first light tomorrow.

Susan expresses her delight on his arrival, “Sidney!  Do come in.  I am not long home!  I trust all went well?”

“Yes!” he replies, “Mrs. Campion was angry, and prepared to fight. But it didn’t matter what she tried, to threaten, tempt or cajole, there was no hardship in telling her that I would not change my mind.”

“Oh Sidney!” she exclaims, “What wonderful news!”

“Indeed I practically danced my way over to my carriage!” he says sheepishly, “I almost collided with an elderly couple on their walk!  My behaviour Susan!  I am a foolish boy!”  He chuckles, and she joins in with his laughter.  “They wished me well!  But please, your discretion, I must speak with Charlotte before it becomes public knowledge.  In fact, I should like to keep it from London circles as long as possible, for obvious reasons.”

“Of course, I will keep this wonderful secret,” she replies, “but I shall remain vigilant to listen for Mrs. Campion’s explanation if she should speak of it.”

“Thank you.  I did suggest she simply explain it as a mutual decision, and I warned her I will be watching for any deviation from that.  I’m not sure what to expect.”  He immediately becomes serious, thinking back to Eliza’s inconsistent behaviour during their exchange, “She is very angry, and somewhat muddled in her thinking I suspect. At several points during the conversation I suspected she may be unwell, but perhaps it’s simply her desire to be in control ... ridiculous as it may seem, I truly cannot claim to know her well.”

“I will be sure to nip any nonsense in the bud, rest assured!  And now, I must tell you, we discussed more of the situation with finances when we returned to Sanditon House yesterday, and we all see our way clear to invest beyond the repayment of your brother’s debt.  We are intent on making Sanditon shine!  So there will be another meeting next week to get things established.  I will be contacting the London investors and Lord Babington will give you more details upon your return to Sanditon.  I have a list of what is proposed,” she says, reaching for papers from a nearby table, “for you to take with you to peruse at your leisure.  I fear your brother might find our plans difficult, but I shall not burden you further with it now, there is something far more important for you to be thinking on!  And you must let me know when you have proposed!”

“I shall!  Although I am a little nervous, I must confess.”  The rush of feeling he had experienced on leaving Eliza’s house has waned a little, with Susan’s talk of the practicalities to be faced upon return to Sanditon.

“About what, my friend?” Susan asks, frowning slightly.

“Whether Charlotte will still want me.  I did her such a terrible wrong.”

“She would think less of you had you not tried to redeem your brother and see his family safe!” Susan replies, “Should you begin to doubt, just remember this – Charlotte is strong. She is constant ... and, she is in love ... with you!”

Sidney briefly closes his eyes, stating quietly, “I have no idea why.”

“Oh but I am sure you do!” she says, smiling broadly, “and you deserve this!  Now," she says, handing him the papers, "you must go!”

“I must!” he agrees, smiling again with new determination.

As they turn to leave the room, she teases, “I have never seen such a sparkle in your eyes Sidney Parker!  At last you are a happy man.”

“I am,” he replies, the smile widening, “I only hope that Charlotte will see me in the same light as before this debacle took control of our lives!”

“Fear not,” Susan says firmly, “it will be all you are hoping for!  This is a new beginning!”

“Yes.  And thank you Susan,” he says with deep appreciation, “for your part in it, for everything you have done for us.  You are a true friend.  It was your showing me Charlotte’s letter that started me thinking clearly.  I am ever in your debt.”

“Oh shush!  There is no debt!  Just go to Charlotte and make her happy too!”

They laugh together as she shows him to the door.

  *  *  *

Charlotte has been walking.  Mary is much improved and insists on moving about and becoming involved again in the everyday running of the household, and Charlotte is pleased to have the opportunity to take some fresh air and let her thoughts wander.  Uppermost in her mind is the conversation she had with Sidney on the beach two days ago.  She has been thinking of the friendship they have mutually agreed to and she knows that although it can never be something more, she might find a way to make it lasting, even though distance will separate them. 

There is hope in her heart that she will not be leaving for Willingden before Sidney returns to Sanditon.  This may be foolish, but she longs to speak with him again, just one more time, so she can feel reassured that he will be alright with the future that awaits him.  Should she not see him again, perhaps she can at least write him a brief note, expressing her gratitude that they have had this short time together, time she will always treasure.  She might manage this through Mary ... and perhaps they could continue to – just occasionally – keep in touch and offer one another some support through the uncertainties of life.  Mrs Campion need never know.  Then again, Sidney might believe this too dangerous, or a breach of propriety...

Deciding she will seek Mary’s advice, Charlotte has just left the beach when James Stringer appears at her side.  Startled by his interruption to her solitude, she is annoyed by the intrusion.  She tries to accept that he has not intentionally disturbed her thoughts, and attempts a friendly exchange as she agrees to his request to accompany her to Trafalgar House.

“I missed you this morning Miss Heywood, as I did yesterday,” James says, hoping to learn what is preventing her usual early morning exercise.

“Oh,” she replies, irritated that he should presume to have a right to know the reasons behind her comings and goings, “I have been much occupied with the Parker children.”

“That early?” he asks, surprised.

“The children are always awake quite early,” she replies abruptly.

“How long are you going to have to spend your morning time with them?” he asks.

Taken aback by Mr Stringer’s inquisitiveness, she longs for him to simply go away.  Feeling ashamed for her thoughts, she wonders if he has noticed her grumpiness and if perhaps she should apologise.  She decides against it, and ignoring his question, makes an effort to appear cheerful by chatting about the work at the job site.

Once they arrive at Trafalgar House, James smiles at her, expresses the hope of seeing her again soon with a view to a more substantial conversation, bids her good day and walks on.  Although they have parted on friendly terms, she is irritable as she hangs up her hat and coat.  A sudden alarming thought occurs to her – although their discussion has been brief, and mostly of Sanditon happenings, something in his bearing has seemed a little odd.  Perhaps she is guilty of inaccurate assumptions, but his questions about her personal activity have appeared intrusive.  It is as if he is resentful that she is residing at Trafalgar House.  She cannot quite put her finger on it, but the term ‘proprietorial’ comes to mind. And as to a more substantial conversation, she feels uncomfortable thinking about it.  What does he want to speak about? ... Surely not...

“Charlotte,” she thinks aloud, “do be careful. Do not encourage that.”

Frowning, she realises her lack of interest in James in any romantic way is very much the result of her feelings for the man she cannot have. She is doing her best to face a future without Sidney, and is certain that she will not want any other man in that way.  She knows, without doubt, that what she said to Sidney two days ago is the undeniable truth. With a heavy sigh, she moves towards the stairs, to freshen up before the evening meal.

*  *  *

Mr Simpson arrives at Eliza’s house, and she immediately makes clear what she requires of him.

“I want you to ensure that Mr Sidney Parker does not receive any financial help from banks or investors in all of London,” she says, “he will be seeking help wherever he can and must not succeed.”

Simpson, bewildered, responds, “Forgive my confusion, but why would he be seeking help?  Have you not already provided for this in your recent agreement?”

“He has cancelled our agreement,” she says abruptly.

“Oh,” he exclaims, “then surely he has funds from other sources?”

“No,” she replies, “he has only cancelled the agreement today, and did not appear eager to discuss the financial situation. I know he has not been conducting business in London as he has had urgent family concerns in Sanditon over the last several days. He is deluded in his belief that he will find backers.  No doubt he will seek meetings with all who may be able to assist him.”

“He is an astute businessman,” Simpson insists, “so would surely have assurances from elsewhere before cancelling?”

“No!” she replies, annoyed with his persistent arguments, “I know he has not approached the banks.  He has not had time.  He has returned from Sanditon but an hour ago.  I do not intend to disclose the details, but Sidney Parker has allowed himself to be duped.”

“Oh I see,” he says, still somewhat disbelieving that Mr Sidney Parker would not be more judicious in attempting to restore his brother’s fortunes, “then his brother will be in a very precarious situation.  We know what a disaster Mr Tom Parker has created for himself and his investors.  Creditors will be hunting him down!”

“Humph!” she grumbles, “that will not be necessary.  Sidney Parker will come back to beg a renewal of our agreement, he will have nowhere else to turn.”

“How do you propose to achieve that?”

“Exactly as I did before,” she replies, now appearing smug, “just do as you did a few weeks ago.  Ensure that every door he knocks on in London is closed to him.  Do this properly and you will be well paid.”

“Very well,” he says, “but I will need a list of those you personally visited as well as the few you had me confer with.”

“Of course, I already have it here,” she says, holding the paper towards him, “now go.  Time is of the essence.”

Taking the list from her he says, “Very well.  I will begin immediately.”

“And be sure this cannot be traced back to me,” she says sternly, “it seems there was some information disclosed to persons who should not have been made aware of what was done on the previous occasion.  Discretion is paramount.”

“Of course,” he replies frowning at her implication, “rest assured, Mrs Campion, that I have never disclosed any –”

“‘Never mind that!”’ she interrupts irritably, “‘this must be done quickly, so Mr Parker cannot get to these people first.  Report back to me without delay.  Make sure the news is good.”

“‘Of course,”’ he replies, “Good day Mrs Campion.” 

He bows and leaves as Eliza sits frowning.  After a moment, her face contorts in a vicious sneer as she scoffs, “Oh Sidney Parker.  I will have you yet!  You will discover you have underestimated me most severely!”

Chapter Text

Back at Bedford Place, Sidney hands his coat and hat to Jenkins, who notices his exuberant mood immediately.

“Thank you Jenkins, good man.  I hope all is well!” he says with a grin, tapping Jenkins casually on the shoulder.

“Very good sir,” Jenkins replies, “may I say Mr Sidney, you appear to be in remarkably good spirits!”

“Ah, yes, Jenkins, and with good reason!”

“You have good news then, sir?” Jenkins asks.

“Very good,” Sidney replies, leaning in close, almost whispering, “I would ask you to keep this to yourself for now, but my engagement to Mrs Campion is over.”

“Oh!” Jenkins exclaims, trying to hide a smile, and to not be too obvious in his relief, “If I may be so bold, sir, is this the reason for your high spirits?”

“You know me too well Jenkins! But we must wait until I have completed a few tasks before I can discuss it openly. So please, not a word.” he says, lifting his finger to his lips indicating his need for secrecy.

“Of course, sir,” says Jenkins, smiling broadly now, “your secret is safe with me!”

“Thank you!  Now, I have much to do in Sanditon – I must leave at first light tomorrow for Trafalgar House,” he explains.

Going to his study, Sidney pours a drink, takes up the papers Susan has given him and sits into a comfortable chair with a boyish smile on his face.  Only days ago, if someone had asked him to read through any papers of Sanditon activity he would have found reason to delay it.  Now, however, with a new interest born of gratitude for the contributions of this group of loyal friends and family, he eagerly reads through the proposal, noting the attention to detail and recognising its potential for success.  As he reaches the last of the information, Jenkins comes in with a letter from Susan.

“This has just arrived from Lady Susan Worcester, sir.  She has asked that you be sure to deliver it to Miss Heywood when you arrive back in Sanditon tomorrow.  Her delivery man suggested you be made aware of its importance.”

“Of course!  Thank you Jenkins!” Sidney says, jumping up to take the letter. He notes the pleased look that Jenkins has as he meets his eye, and his apparent reluctance to leave the room, as if he might wish to speak with him.

“No doubt you are making deductions as to the nature of my good news,” he asks, still smiling, “and the detail that I am yet to divulge, especially in view of this important letter I must deliver?”

“I would not be so impertinent sir!” Jenkins replies, hoping to hide his amusement with a false attempt to appear offended.

Sidney lets out a chuckle, assuring him, “It’s quite alright Jenkins! How long have you been with us?”

“Since you were a youngster sir.”

“Yes, so you know me well, and I believe it will please you to hear that I may soon have the best news to impart to you, and to the household. However, I must complete some vital communications with a certain person in Sanditon first.” he says mysteriously.

Smiling, Jenkins nods to Sidney, “My sincere good wishes then, for a successful visit! May you achieve all that you wish for!”

“Thank you. I am hopeful. We shall see, hmm?  All in good time!” he says as he slaps Jenkins playfully on the shoulder again.

“Yes indeed, sir.”

As he reaches the door to leave the room, Jenkins turns to add, “Might I say, sir, that the household remembers a certain Miss Heywood as a most charming young lady when she was a guest at Bedford Place some weeks ago?”

“Ah,” Sidney responds, a glint in his eye, “I believe we understand each other very well. I have always admired your perception! But I must repeat, please ensure that this remains between us until I return from Sanditon.”

“As you wish, sir.”

Sidney puts the letter on the table and turns to finish his drink.  He finds, however, that he cannot settle, and instead begins pacing the floor. Moving to his desk, he opens the drawer and takes out a small dark red velvet pouch, opening it at an angle to allow a fine gold chain to pour out onto his palm. He then reaches into the pouch to draw out a beautiful heart shaped locket.  Threading the chain through the locket, he walks to the window, holding it up, to catch the light streaming in.  Smiling, he wonders when he might be able to surprise Charlotte with it.  Perhaps she might ask him to help her put it on.

Glancing over at Susan’s letter, he checks his fob watch and makes a sudden decision.  Sliding the locket back into the velvet pouch he places it into his pocket, patting it in place alongside Charlotte’s unfinished letter.  He takes Susan’s letter from the desk and hurriedly leaves the room, calling for Jenkins as he heads for the door to collect his hat and coat.

Jenkins hurries towards him, calling, “Sir?”

”I’ve changed my mind as to my travel arrangements,” Sidney replies, donning his coat, “I’m going to the stables now, and will leave for Sanditon immediately.”

Jenkins looks startled, and tries to dissuade him, “But it is so late in the day to be starting the journey sir, there will be so little daylight left now!” he exclaims.

“No matter, the weather is fair,” Sidney replies, “I am carrying very little and it will be well lit tonight with a full moon and hopefully very little cloud.”

Jenkins remains uneasy, but politely agrees, “Well, as you wish, sir.”

Sidney chuckles. “Don’t look so fretful Jenkins. It’s not as if I’ve never done something impulsive like this before!”

Grinning now, Jenkins replies, “No sir, to be sure. If I may say, you never were one to shy away from a challenge.”

“No, and this may be the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life,” Sidney replies more soberly now, “It is definitely the most important!”

Wishing him well, Jenkins says, “A safe journey, sir, and a fruitful conversation!”

Sidney grips his shoulder firmly, and with a quick word of thanks he hurries away to the stables.

*  *  *

Sidney has been riding fast away from London, but slows as he approaches the junction to Willingden.  As it is still not quite dusk he considers a visit to the Heywood estate, but is suddenly apprehensive.  What if the Heywoods know of all that has happened between him and Charlotte in Sanditon?  And London – has she told them of their travel in the carriage without a chaperone?  Has she mentioned other things?  Heaven forbid they should know about the incident at the cove?  What of the visit to the house of ill repute?  The kiss on the cliff tops?  Do they know that he was ready to propose marriage before Tom’s disastrous situation wrecked their hopes?  He cannot make a mess of this.  He must prepare well.  It becomes an easy decision, as he is excited to get back to speak with Charlotte anyway.  He continues on, riding at a gallop through the moonlight, arriving at Trafalgar House late into the night.

Finding the house very quiet, Sidney skips up the stairs to stop at Charlotte’s bedroom.  He hesitates; should he knock at Charlotte’s door?  Is she sleeping?  Lacking the courage to disturb her, he returns downstairs, finding Hodges still awake.  On inquiring he learns Miss Heywood has retired quite early, so is probably asleep.  Sidney is disappointed but says he will speak with her in the morning.

Going back up the stairs Sidney hesitates again at Charlotte’s door, raising his hand to knock.  He stops, walks round in a small circle and then back to the door, then changes his mind and goes to his own room.  He grins at his own antics, thinking if it weren’t so important he would laugh at himself for a love-sick fool.  He sits on the edge of his bed, drags off his thirsty boots and gently removes the pouch and Charlotte’s letter fragment from his pocket before tossing his dusty travel clothing haphazardly onto the floor.  He flings himself back onto the bed, unable to stop smiling.

Charlotte is awake; she has heard Sidney’s footsteps halting, shuffling outside her door, and then fading away to his room followed by the opening and closing of his door. Hesitantly, Charlotte pokes her head out her own door, vacillating; should she approach his room or wait till morning to see what has brought him back so late tonight?  Would he want to speak with her anyway?  He had appeared to be hovering at her door after all ... but what if she has misread his intention?  Sighing, she turns back into her own room.  Knowing he is so close makes her restless, wanting to speak with him now, but she tells herself that perhaps it is fortunate she lacks the courage, as she dreads finding out he has set a wedding date.

So it is that both spend a restless night, tossing and turning, but for different reasons; Sidney excited and hopeful and Charlotte quite the opposite.

Chapter Text

The sound of a door closing brings Sidney awake to early morning light, so he dresses, places the precious unfinished letter into his pocket, goes to Charlotte’s door and taps on it quietly.  A servant notices, and informs him Miss Heywood has gone for a very early walk.

“Ah,” he replies, annoyed with himself for having missed her, “do you know where she might have gone for this walk?”

“I believe Miss Heywood usually walks on the beach at this time sir.”

“Thank you,” he replies.  He hurries downstairs, dons his coat, snatches up his hat and cane and leaves the house, making haste for the beach, almost breaking into a run.  Arriving at the beach, however, he is brought to an abrupt halt, as he sees Charlotte, some distance away, approached by James Stringer.

“Miss Heywood!” Stringer calls.

Charlotte turns, startled, bringing her hand up to her face as she replies, “Oh! Mr Stringer!”

Sidney observes her turning in surprise, and although some distance away, it seems that she and Stringer are both smiling.  They appear to engage in what he can only surmise is an intimate conversation, as Stringer moves closer to her.

As Charlotte faces him, James takes off his hat saying apologetically, “Forgive me Miss, I did not mean to alarm you.”

“No, I am alright, Mr Stringer, I just did not hear your approach.”

“I hope you will not think it too forward of me,” he ventures, “but in fact I did hope to find you here. There is something of importance I wish to discuss with you.”

Puzzled, and now suddenly wary, Charlotte asks, “Oh?”

Both are unaware that Sidney watches from the distance, irritated that he is too far away to hear their conversation.

“I will come straight to the point,” James continues, turning the brim of his hat through his fingers, “I think you must be aware, I have regarded you with great affection and esteem from the day we first met.  I have said before, I have never known any other woman like you.  I realised before you even left Sanditon that my feelings were much more than the mere affection of a friend.”

Charlotte watches him but says nothing, wishing she had not ventured out this morning.  James moves in closer.

“I have known for some time that I am in love with you Miss Heywood,” James says, “but I could not tell you as I knew you had developed a strong affection for Mr Sidney Parker.  When I discovered that he had become engaged to Mrs Campion I found myself –”

“Please, Mr Stringer,” Charlotte tries to interrupt but he speaks hurriedly over her now. 

“I know you do not love me now.  I want you to know that it is my intention to go to London before long to accept the apprenticeship, and I am determined to become the best I can be in my profession, once I have trained.  Perhaps then I will be worthy of you.  May I dare hope?  Am I wrong to hope?  Do you think you could come to hold me in high enough regard to one day accept me in marriage?  I am willing to wait ...”

In the silence that follows, Charlotte tries hard to think of a gentle reply.  She finally finds her voice, “Oh Mr Stringer...” but she cannot say more, knowing her face betrays her discomfort.

James rushes on, “You need not answer me now.  If you will simply take time to consider –”

“Thank you Mr Stringer,” she hastily replies, feeling sympathy for him but eager to end the conversation, “but I do not believe that I need time.  I am not of a mind to marry.  In fact, I do not believe I will ever wish to marry. I regret if this disappoints you but I cannot be less than honest.”

Stringer looks deeply hurt.  “You still love Mr Sidney Parker,” he states flatly.

“It is pointless I know.  But there it is” she says, looking directly at him, “I am sorry.”

“Thank you for your honesty Miss Heywood.  I understand.  You already know my thoughts on his treatment of you.  I will not speak of it again.  But if you ever find you have a change of heart ... well, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you Mr Stringer.”

Sidney, still watching from a distance is scowling with envy and frustration.

An awkward silence ensues, before Charlotte, feeling resentful for his dismissal of Sidney’s good character, says firmly to James, “But I must also say, although I cannot give you details of what occurred I know that Mr Parker had no other choice in the decision he made.  One day you might discover the reason and appreciate the sacrifice he has made for his family and for this town.  I respect that, and I will always hold him in high regard.”

“I beg your pardon,” he says, wanting to hear more, “I do not understand, what could possibly –”

“It is not my place to speak of it,” Charlotte says, quickly interrupting him, “but it was a situation that could not be remedied by any other means.  That is all I can say about it.” 

There is another awkward silence, as Charlotte is feeling wretched and James seems confused by her revelation regarding Sidney’s decision to choose Mrs Campion over her.  He thinks of the forlorn and distracted man Sidney Parker appeared to be when he attended the worksite to speak with himself and Fred, and the closeness he witnessed between Sidney Parker and Miss Heywood a few evenings ago on the beach.  There is something going on here, but he cannot imagine what it must be.  Miss Heywood has just said it is hopeless, yet she obviously has a strong belief in this man’s integrity.  At a loss to understand, he says nothing more, for fear of offending her.

Unable to bear the silence, Charlotte makes an excuse to leave, “I must go.  Mary Parker will have need of me.”

“Yes.  Of course,” he replies, “I will leave you now.”

He reaches out and to her surprise, takes her hand, kissing the back of it.

Sidney’s throat is tight, his jaw set hard.  He cannot bear to watch this spectacle any longer.  Taking a deep, shuddering breath he looks out to sea, dragging his hands down his face.  He feels a sudden prickling under his skin.  His heart begins to hammer as he brings a hand to his chest to cover the precious paper in his waistcoat pocket.  Breathing becomes difficult and he must work hard to maintain his focus and remain still, as he has a sudden recall of that terrible morning at Trafalgar House, when he almost lost his mind after Charlotte had returned to Willingden. 

Surely he cannot come this close to happiness with her, only to have it wrenched from him again?  This fear is palpable.  He forces himself to look across again at the couple on the sand.  His thoughts are all a-jumble; he remembers her words when walking with him mere days ago and hopes she has not decided, in her belief that any hope of a future with him is long gone, to settle for something other than what she truly wants.

James speaks again, “Goodbye Miss Heywood.”  He bows and turns to leave.

“Mr Stringer!” Charlotte calls.

He turns back to face her as she says sadly, “I am sorry.  I regret that it could not be otherwise.  I wish you every happiness.  I have always placed high value on our friendship.  If you feel that it cannot continue I will understand.”

“Of course it can continue,” he declares, appearing hurt.  “I will always consider you my friend Miss Heywood.”

Charlotte knows that although he is declaring continuing friendship, he is bitterly disappointed by her rejection.  She wonders if a friendship can actually be maintained considering this strong feeling he has for her, which she can never return.  She cannot help but think it will spoil any comfortable communication between them.  She may be looking at him as a friend for the last time.

He bows slightly, moves away, turns and goes up to a path leading to the cliffs.  Charlotte watches him go, and then deciding she is not ready to return to Trafalgar House slowly turns to continue her walk.  Becoming distressed, her eyes well with tears, and she wipes them away with her sleeve.

Sidney has watched in consternation.  His face lightens a little as he sees them separate, but in view of what he has just witnessed he is unable to decide what he should do.  Stringer has now disappeared up to the dunes, too far away for Sidney to see his face.  He consoles himself with the thought that Stringer’s manner does appear flat, and wonders if it is a sign of disappointment. 

Sidney breathes deeply and emits a long sigh.  He has never known such indecision.  He simply does not know what to do, so turns and begins to walk despondently back to Trafalgar House.  This uncertainty is tearing at his heart.  He slows down, and comes to a stop, remembering Charlotte's sad face as she watched his departure from Trafalgar House two days ago.  He twists back again, returning to the original spot from where he has watched her speaking with Stringer.  There she is, wiping her sleeve across her eyes as she moves slowly away on the beach.  He watches her.  She looks defeated, her thin shoulders drooping; he wants to go to her and hold her, to clear away her troubles.  Would she welcome him though, or send him away?  He is torn between hope and despair; if only he could know what has just transpired between her and Mr Stringer.

There is nothing for it, he must go to her.  He begins walking quickly onto the beach.

Chapter Text

Although she had not slept well, Charlotte had woken early as usual, and was undecided as to whether she should take a walk or try to get at least a little more sleep, before the household should begin to stir.  She had wanted to be prepared for meeting Sidney at the breakfast table, and the idea of using a walk to gather her thoughts had seemed eminently sensible.  Now she is wishing she had not left her cosy bed.  Had she known she would encounter Mr Stringer, she would not have ventured out of the house.  She realises now that her suspicions after their previous walk were obviously well founded.  Why does everything have to be so complicated? 

Just a few weeks ago Charlotte was contemplating an exciting future with a man she had come to think of as the one who would share her every thought, every deed, and every wish for happiness.  So much has happened to put that well out of her reach.  Well, she will definitely speak with Mary to ask if she would be willing to allow occasional communications with Sidney, through letters to her.  That would at least bring her some peace of mind, as Sidney will know she has not forgotten him and is true to her word in wishing him well as a constant friend.

Charlotte turns to make her way back.  After only a few steps, she looks up and stops in surprise as Sidney hurries towards her.  How is it that the very person she is thinking of has appeared as if by magic in front of her?  Knowing how late he had returned last night, she has been sure he would still be sleeping.  Hoping he will not notice her tears she tries to surreptitiously wipe them from her face by making a half turn and bringing her arms up as if to hold back her hair which is blowing in the breeze.  She turns back to him and takes in his much animated demeanour as he comes to a stop directly in front of her.  Quite breathless, Sidney looks questioningly into her eyes but says nothing.

“Mr Parker,” she exclaims, “you are back so soon!”

Still feeling saddened after her discussion with Mr Stringer, and surprised by Sidney’s sudden appearance before her, Charlotte struggles in vain to avoid more tears welling up. 

Breathing hard, as if he has been running, Sidney comes straight to the point, “Yes.  Charlotte, I have something ... oh ... tears ...”

He catches his breath realising the extent of her distress, and moves forward to offer reassurance if he can.

“What is it?  I saw you in conversation with Mr Stringer,” he adds, vaguely waving his hat in the direction James has gone.

Charlotte hastily wipes her face with one hand, without speaking.  Sidney fidgets in his coat pocket, bringing out a handkerchief and holding it out to her.  She gives him a weak smile, and with a small nod of thanks she takes the cloth to wipe her eyes.

“Charlotte,” he says, deeply concerned, “what is wrong?”

“Everything is alright,” she replies sadly, “I did not find it a happy conversation with Mr Stringer.  But I had to ...” she looks down at the handkerchief as she continues, trying to explain, “my decision ... there was nothing else I could do.”

“Oh?  What has happened?” he asks in alarm.

“Oh,” she replies, flapping the handkerchief about, “it ... it’s ... this is something you do not need to be concerned with.”

“I suspect,” he says, anxious about what has occurred between her and Mr Stringer, “that ... perhaps ... I do.”

Charlotte wipes her eyes again, and then looks up at him, asking in confusion, “Why?”

“I came to find you,” he says, trying to keep his voice calm, “to tell you something that I hope you might regard as happy news, but if you and Mr Stringer have an understanding ...”

She looks up at him, trying to read his expression, before she says, “We do not have an understanding.”

“And this ... this is not ... likely to happen?” he asks, his heart pounding.

“No,” she replies.  She looks away, before continuing, “He offered to wait, but I could not ... no, it is not likely, not possible at all in fact.”  

“Ah,” he replies, much relieved, “at the risk of appearing selfish, I am glad to hear it.”

Charlotte stares up at him with a puzzled expression.  “Why are you asking me these questions?” she asks.

“Because ... I must tell you,” he begins, taking a deep breath and gripping his hat in a firm hold against his chest, “I will not be marrying Mrs Eliza Campion.”

Shocked, with heart hammering suddenly, and blood rushing in her ears, she asks in a whisper, “What?”

He says quietly, “I have broken the engagement.”

“Oh!” she exclaims, unable to take in the full meaning of his announcement.  Sidney is watching her closely as her expression changes rapidly, a delighted smile switching to a frown of confusion.  He is aware that she is struggling with this news, as she asks further, “But ... why?”

“I do not love her.”

“But what of ... you made a commitment?”

“Mrs Campion has agreed to end it.  I must say she was reluctant at first, but after discussion she did agree.”  His voice hardens as he continues, “It’s the least she can do considering how she behaved ten years ago ... and also recently, but I will not speak of that at this time.”

“But what of Tom’s situation?” she asks, vacantly sliding the used handkerchief into the pocket in her skirt.

“Ah ... of course,” he says, smiling at her, “you would be concerned about that ... yes.  Well, miraculously, through the generosity of others I’ve found another way.”

Charlotte is looking at him in disbelief.

“I know it will be difficult to take in, but several people have come together to offer to finance the total debt, and I’ve accepted that offer on Tom’s behalf.  I’ve much to tell him on return to the house.”

“B-but,” she stammers, “all that debt!  Who would do that?”

“Well, as it happens,” he replies, smiling, “a group of our mutual friends has banded together to provide a significant portion of the funds, and the rest, twenty-five thousand, has been met by a very generous young lady and her betrothed.”

“But who could afford such a sum?”

He looks fondly at her as he replies, “I believe she may be your best friend.”

The silence stretches out, before Charlotte suddenly realises who this benefactor is.  “Georgiana?” she asks, looking horrified at the thought.

“Yes.”

“Oh!  She is prepared to take this on?” she asks, still finding this information difficult to believe.

“Yes.”

“And you will allow this – as her guardian?” she says in surprise.

“Yes.  I was adamantly opposed initially, but I won’t be in control of her wealth for much longer anyway.  It will be up to her and Otis when they marry, and they are both eager to help us settle this as soon as possible.”

“Otis agrees?”

“Yes.  He’s relieved in fact to have a way to repay me for clearing his gambling debts.  I didn’t expect reimbursement as I was content to see him start afresh, but he insists it cannot be a gift.  As we know, he now has the means to contribute, without touching Georgiana’s inheritance.”

“Then ... that means ...”

“That means I am a free man, free to finally do what I want!  I am no longer harnessed to my brother’s foolishness!” he declares, his voice light and happy.  He hesitates briefly, however, seeing her confusion, but then quite decisively stabs his cane into the sand and places his hat atop with a flourish.  Moving closer to her he takes both her hands, smiles at her and looks hopefully into her eyes.

“So Miss Heywood,” he asks softly, “what now?”

“What now? ... I am not sure I fully ...” she says, closing her eyes briefly and speaking slowly, “I do not wish to assume ... after what happened before.”  She looks directly up at him with a slight frown, seeking to clarify his intent. He feels the tug of her hands, as if she is resisting, wishing to withdraw from his grip, as she asks, “What exactly are you asking me now?”

Sidney reacts immediately to her hesitancy.  He feels his heart sink.  Dropping her hands he draws back, overwhelmed by the startling thought that he has presumed too much.  Since their shared admission of undying love during their beach walk three days ago he has been convinced that the only obstacle to their happiness would be Eliza’s refusal to break the engagement.  Having successfully put that behind him he has imagined only a joyful reunion with Charlotte, but now fear rises again.

Can she forgive the hurt?  Will she need time?  Can she even find it in her heart to accept him?  If not, it will be a tragedy of suffering from which he knows he will never recover.

Chapter Text

Sidney makes the sudden heart wrenching decision that he cannot propose marriage yet. He knows Charlotte well enough to realise that she is aware of what he was about to say, and pulling her hands away from him has made it clear that she is not prepared for this.  She does not want him to ask that question.  There is something preventing her from accepting him as he is.  He feels the same hesitancy in her that was evident in her avoidance of his gaze in Mary’s room, even though she now knows he is free.  She has told him she does not think badly of him.  She has told him she will always love him.  Something is still causing her pain.

He is angry with himself, bitterly disappointed at his failure to consider Charlotte’s thoughts and feelings, and silently berates himself for having lost her trust.  He has been thrown out of balance this morning, having witnessed her rejection of Stringer’s proposal, and her sadness at causing Stringer pain.  She is in love with Sidney, of that he is certain, but her hesitancy now, pulling her hands away, convinces him he has much to do before they can be as they were on the night of the midsummer ball - radiant with joy, conviction and happy anticipation.

Sidney now thinks on all the events in his past that may affect his way forward with Charlotte; the loss of both parents at a young age – something he has never discussed with another, his rejection by Eliza ten years ago, his consequent reckless behaviour, his experiences in Antigua and his years of resentment – and more recent seething anger – towards Tom have all played a part in shaping the man he has become. 

He knows Charlotte accepts his imperfections, but he also believes she wants this to be different.  At the ball she had been ready to agree to marry the much improved man he had become, but he knows he has no right to expect her to accept the moody and sombre individual he has reverted back to since the fire.  He is certain her acceptance of his proposal would again make him a better man, but he owes it to her to be that man once more, before he asks the question.

Sidney is right to think Charlotte does not want a proposal.  She is in fact relieved that he has not asked for her hand.  She has feelings that are causing her some disquiet, feelings she has only realised during his absence these past two days.  There is something unresolved that she has believed important to her acceptance of what has occurred.  Looking now at Sidney’s sad and troubled face, she feels that her unease is of only small significance in light of what he has had to endure.  She will not speak of it, but resolves to allow it to slide into the past, and only discuss it should he be the one to mention it.  In the meantime, this man has accomplished some kind of miracle, and she has shown no excitement, only surprise and uncertainty, which has hurt him deeply.

“I am sorry,” she says softly, “I have offended you.  I would never intentionally do that.  I was simply not ready for all this news.”

“It’s alright, Charlotte.  Of course it’s overwhelming.  I’m still coming to terms with it myself.  I’ve been foolhardy believing that you would share the level of excitement that I feel.”

“It is truly wonderful news,” she replies, smiling up at him.

“Charlotte, there is much I wish to tell you,” he says, “much for which I owe you an explanation.”

“Such as?”

“Well, such as my ill mannered conduct in the early days of our acquaintance.  There are also things I am not proud of from the years before we met; reckless behaviour, irrational decisions and things I failed to accomplish.”

“Why is it so important to tell me things from when we were not acquainted?” Charlotte asks.

“I want you to know that I am at least an honest man.”

 “You have always been honest with me Sidney.  Sometimes a little too honest,” she says, trying to introduce a little levity.

“But I have surely lost your trust,” he exclaims, “I gave you to understand I would offer my hand in marriage, indeed I was sincere, but then made a decision that was nothing short of despicable.  I betrayed you.”  He looks down to the sand as he continues with a slight shake of his head, “I have much to atone for.  I must prove that I am trustworthy.”

“There was no betrayal,” she says firmly, “I trust you unreservedly.  Never doubt that.  It is not you, but fate that makes me wary.  We have both already suffered when neither of us was at fault ...”

“But I should never have taken that course of action to resolve Tom’s situation!” he insists, angry with himself.

“I do not know any man with a greater love for his family,” she replies.  “You chose what was necessary, to help those you love.”

Very softly, he declares, “Not all those I love.  I hurt you.  Heaven knows it was the last thing …”

Charlotte replies, “We were both hurt.  Your heart was shattered.  I know that.”

There is a pause, each looking at the other, until Sidney speaks again, his voice still low, “I would choose differently now.”

With a small gasp, Charlotte smiles gratefully at him, but then frowning she says, “Then your family would suffer.”

“No,” he replies, gently taking her hands again, “I would seek your assistance.  That would make all the difference.”

They look at each other in silence, before she whispers, “Thank you.”

“Is it presumptuous of me then, Charlotte," he asks, "to hope that you will agree to a courtship?”

She cannot hide her surprise.  “Do you think a courtship necessary?  Do we not know each other well?”

“I did believe so, but your hesitancy ...” he begins.

“Oh.  Yes.  I am sorry,” she exclaims, “it is just that ... yes, I must be honest with you.  I do feel uncertain.  I am anxious, I suppose about several things.  But it is wonderful, the commitment Georgiana and Otis have made, as this has helped you to have your freedom again as a single man. I find it difficult, however, to take in that you have in fact broken with Mrs Campion.  You will now be relieved, I am sure, to have time for yourself, no longer beholden to others who have asked so much of you.”

“Charlotte, when I left London I was jubilant,” Sidney says, “I could not wait to see you, and upon my return last night it was almost impossible to go to my own room instead of pounding on your door with my news and proposing marriage right there and then.  I admit I had a few anxious thoughts during the journey, that you might think me arrogant and assuming, but the memory of our conversation on this beach, well, it urged me on.”  His voice drops low as he adds, “However, I see now that I have assumed too much.”

“Why do you think that?” Charlotte asks, troubled by her own uncertainty and knowing he is aware of it.

“I was so elated at being free; free to come to you ... I believed this would be easy, that you would welcome my good news without a moment’s hesitation.  But your uncertainty ....perhaps you need time to even accept that I can be your true friend, let alone something more.  I have hurt you.  I might still make mistakes.  I must make sure that you are happy Charlotte.  I want to show you my true self.  It may take some time – my history is complicated – but I beg you to be patient and hear me out.”

“I do not understand – why would you insist that you must speak of your past?” she asks, confused as to the significance of his past history to his current situation.

“I hope eventually to ask a question of you, but I fear I may not receive the answer I long for.  This is why I ask for the chance ... to lay my whole sorry tale out before you, with all my imperfections.  I want you to hear it all from me, not through gossip and innuendo.  You can then decide if I am worthy of you, worthy to ask that question.”

Charlotte is much relieved, hearing his explanation.  She understands that Sidney needs to do this for them to move forward, but in a moment of clarity she realises that this need not be a barrier to their commitment to one another.  She is grateful for his determination to allow her to see all the facets of his character, strengths and flaws together.  She thinks for a moment, staring down at the sand.  There is nothing to fear here.  This is Sidney.  He loves her.  He will care for her in every way, and be his best and truest self.

“Perhaps your story can be told after the question is asked.  Perhaps you should throw caution to the wind and ask it anyway,” she suggests, smiling softly up at him, hoping he will appreciate her sudden change of heart.

“If the answer is not what I hope for, it will be the undoing of me," he replies, "or even worse, if it is what I hope for, but after hearing my story you change your mind ...”

Charlotte looks up at his worried face, and says simply, “I need no courtship, Sidney.”

“What do you need, Charlotte?”

“I need for you to be happy.”

So, is she not afraid after all?  Surely she is saying she will welcome an offer of marriage?  But what if he is mistaken?  Once again, she is thinking of another before herself, of course she is, and his heart leaps that she does that for him.  However, she speaks of her wish for his happiness but not for her own, and not of marriage.  Of course she would be afraid to assume, knowing their history in that regard.  But does she want marriage, with him?  Or would she simply accept because she wants to make him happy, prepared to live the rest of her days not entirely content?  She has told him she will always love him, but this does not necessarily mean she still wishes to spend her life with him.  He has after all given her more than enough reason to doubt his suitability for marriage. 

Sidney tentatively harks back to the aborted proposal on the balcony, “Do you recall what was said in our unfinished conversation at the ball?”

“Every word,” she replies softly, “It is with me, large in my mind, every waking moment.”

They stand gazing at each other, without words, and then quite taking her by surprise Sidney drops her hands to collect his hat and cane from the sand.  He reaches back to her again and says, “Walk with me?”

“Of course.”

Firmly entwining his fingers with hers Sidney leads her quite quickly along the beach without speaking, and in a short time they have reached his favourite cove.  He invites her to sit with him on a large, smooth rock jutting out of the sand, quite low to the ground and away from the shells that cover most of the surface here.  Being a little short of breath after the effort to keep up with his long strides, she accepts gratefully.  Having settled themselves, however, Sidney seems reluctant to commence any conversation, content to stare out at the water. 

Charlotte stands up and moves in close, directly in front of him, blocking his view and looking down at him with concern.

“Are you well?” she asks.

He remains seated, but looks up, reaching for both of her hands, bringing them to his chest and wrapping his own around them.  His chest is tight with an unnamed fear, but he must tell her what is in his heart, at least.

“Charlotte,” he says softly, gazing up at her, his expression tender and hopeful, “I love you.  I cannot imagine going on in this world without you, always by my side.  I want to care for you, all the days of my life. I should not have veered from the path I had planned. I should not have allowed my brother’s predicament to sway me. I have longed for you to be with me, sharing my dreams, guiding my decisions, since we parted on the cliffs.  When the carriage took you away, it also took my reason for being.  My heart, my soul went with you.”   

“And mine remained behind on the cliffs, with you.”

His heart sings at her response, but all too soon he is tormented again by this unrelenting fear.  How can he possibly be worthy of her? His eyes take on a haunted look, as he considers that whatever she may be saying to reassure him, there still may be an impediment to a happy future with her. He must tell her what is causing his turmoil.

“You told me you are no longer my Charlotte.”

“Oh.  Yes I did ... but that was another day.”

Charlotte looks searchingly into Sidney's eyes; his gaze is intense and pleading, inviting her to at least take a glimpse into his wounded and storm-tossed soul.  She sees a multitude of emotions – resentment and regret, sorrow and pain, not only from the circumstances of recent weeks, but also from years of torment after the cruel rejection of a youthful love.  She sees loneliness, and deliberate indifference forged by his determined efforts over time to distance his forsaken heart from the possibility of loving again, convinced that such a love could not be returned, and so shielding himself from further hurt.  All this, she sees, but there is more. 

She senses the importance of her own contribution to the changes in him since their early acquaintance – the unexpected but persistent stirrings of tender feeling that he had believed he would never know again, a desire to open his heart once more; a longing, yearning, loving desire – for her – daring to believe they would be happy together, until that dreadful, devastating night when fate had twisted their tale with such terrible cruelty.

In these dark, soulful eyes Charlotte recognises heartbreak, but she also finds warmth and hope; Sidney’s hope that her feelings for him will match his for her – a mutual love and affection – and that she is the one who will help him to heal.  This need for healing she understands well, for she too has known it, settling heavily upon her and remaining as a constant ache since his return from London with the dreadful news of his engagement.  Now, in accepting each other, they can begin their healing together. 

Sidney has been looking up unflinchingly into Charlotte’s eyes, and sensing the expressions flitting across her face. He drags his gaze away from hers for a moment, to look adoringly upon her features.  This is the woman he will always love.  She has no equal.  His eyes sweep over her beautiful face, her hair softly framing it, light shimmering through from behind with the breeze teasing wisps about her head, like a halo.  An angel ... his angel?  Her beauty steals his breath away, bringing a lump to his throat – not only the loveliness he sees with his yearning, penetrating gaze, but her compassion and generosity that shine from within.  She has just looked into the deepest, darkest part of him and yet she is still here.  What was it that Susan had said when he visited her? ...

          ‘Charlotte is strong. She is constant ... and, she is in love ... with you!’

Hope swells in his heart.  All that remains is to ask the question.  Fixing his eyes back on hers, he finally finds his courage.

“Charlotte ... please ... marry me?”

Chapter Text

Charlotte gasps with the joy of finally hearing the words that she has been too afraid to wish for, from this gentle and compassionate man who made his home in her heart weeks ago.

“Oh-h ... oh-h Sidney,” she whispers.

Slipping down onto her knees close before him in the sand, bringing her eyes level to meet his earnest, hopeful gaze, she slides one hand out from under his and reaches up, to touch her fingers feather-light against the stubble on his cheek.  Her eyes bright with happy tears she says softly, “At last ... at ...  last.  I have not dared to hope for this.  My dearest, dearest Sidney, yes, I will marry you.”

His immediate response is to huff out a rough sound that almost catches in his throat, something between a choke and a chuckle, as his face lights up with a dazzling smile.  Charlotte is elated at the sight of his handsome features so relieved, relaxed and loving.  Needing to be closer still, he slides off the rock onto his knees, their clothing now touching as he brings his hands up to gently frame her face.

“Charlotte,” he exclaims on a tender laugh, his eyes moist, “those are the most wonderful words I have ever heard.”

Her soft laughter blending with his, she replies, “I am most assuredly your Charlotte.  And I think perhaps you are now my Sidney?”

He chuckles again, his still moist eyes sparkling as he teases, “More assumptions, Miss Heywood?”

Charlotte leans her head forward, giggling with happiness and appreciation of his humour.  Hiding her face against his chest she feels the low rumbling of his laughter and is overcome with the joy of belonging.

“I am yours, Charlotte,” he says, now serious again as he gently runs his fingers through her hair, “I was yours before I even realised it, and that has not changed, but until this moment I have not had the right to speak that truth.  Now I’ll happily shout it to the world.”

Drawing back a little, she looks into the face of this wonderful man and touches her hand to his cheek again, teasing away an errant tear with her thumb.

“Oh Sidney,” she says, “Can this really be true?”

“Yes.  It is true.”  His voice is low and husky.

“It seems like a dream ...”

“It is a dream – come true!”  He chuckles.  “I love you Charlotte.”  His expression then changes, and he says in a very serious tone, “These past weeks have been a living hell.  You have redeemed me.”

“We are free to love ... to be together ...” she says in wonder.

“Yes, we are ... and I have missed you,” he says, leaning in very close.  “I have missed you,” he says again, his voice breaking with emotion.  “Perhaps ... Charlotte ... may I kiss you?”

“Please.”

His lips meet hers tenderly, holding still, lingering, and sending her mind spinning.  This is something she has believed she had no right to hope for.  As Sidney’s arms come round her waist, the kiss intensifies, and she thinks she might cease breathing with the wonder of it.

He pulls away a little to look at her, running his fingers through her hair again.  He stops, and in one swift movement he is on his feet.  He holds out one hand to gently draw her up to stand close to him.

“Come.”

He turns, holding one hand tight to hers while bending to pick up his hat and cane with the other.  Walking more slowly this time, picking their way across the shells, they move back out onto the beach.  They are barely onto the sand when he stops again, tosses the hat and cane aside, turns to her with love in his eyes, and says, “Dance with me?”

“But there is no music,” she replies, puzzled.

“Can you not hear it?  It’s all around us.”

Charlotte looks about, and then tilts her head, listening intently.  She feels the rhythm of her own heart, beating time against the soft hiss and thump of the waves gently hitting the beach and gurgling back on a receding tide.  She hears the squawking of the gulls, not the most melodious of sounds, but befitting the natural harmony in this place ... and then, Sidney begins to hum.  She recognises the melody from the London ball, where they had danced as if no one was watching. 

Here on the Sanditon shore it is as if time has not passed; the beach is now their dance floor, their eyes fixed on one another, Sidney’s hold on her hand firm but gentle.  Their movements are the perfect repetition of their dance at the London ball, until Sidney’s humming begins to lift in tempo and all at once their feet are tripping and stumbling, kicking up sand as they stagger against each other.  Charlotte loses her balance and begins to tumble but Sidney grasps her firmly, keeping her upright and pulling her in close.  They laugh together, abandoning the steps, his humming forgotten, not caring about the sand clinging to their skin, hair and clothes.  Kissing and embracing they are swept up, deliriously happy together, knowing that nothing will ever come between them again.  Finally, fate has been kind, and life is good.

“Oh Sidney,” she says, laughing softly, “I am so happy at heart ... I cannot explain it ... I feel I could fly!”

“Then come fly with me, my love, as my heart is already soaring!”

They collect Sidney’s cane and hat, and begin their walk back to Trafalgar House. Sidney places his hand over hers at his elbow, looking directly at her as he speaks of the joy he is feeling.

“I can’t take my eyes off you Charlotte.  I want to dance with you forever.”

“I want that too.  I wanted that, when we danced in London.”

“I know it.”

“You know?”  She cannot help a little smirk.  “So it was that obvious?”

“Well, yes a little,” he replies with a chuckle.  “I felt the same way until I rashly allowed myself to be distracted.  I was such a fool.  But I have a confession to make.  I know that you wrote those very words to Lady Susan.  She came to see me ...”

“She told you I wrote that?” she asks, suddenly short of breath.

Sidney pauses for a moment, noticing the change of colour in her cheeks.  He then gives a simple nod of his head.  Charlotte comes to a standstill, closing her eyes in mortification.

“Please don’t be angry. She insisted I must read your letter," he explains.

“Oh-h!”   

“Please, don’t worry, she only did that because she decided I must be made to realise how distressed you were.  When I read it, I was so desolate Charlotte ... it confirmed that it was entirely down to me that you were so sad.  Susan said she would never otherwise betray your confidence but this was necessary.  I’m grateful that she did.”

He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, worried that Charlotte might chastise him for not refusing to read the letter and hoping he can convince her that its revelations were important to him, and indeed influenced his later decisions. “I believe she was also seeking to establish how I was feeling.  It was my reaction to your letter that convinced her we must marry.  We talked at length and she was determined that we would find another way to meet Tom’s debt.  That made me begin to reconsider ... and to hope ...”

“Then how can I not be grateful also?  She is such a dear and compassionate friend.”

“Yes – to both of us.  Oh, I almost forgot – this is for you.”

Sidney takes Susan’s letter from his pocket and hands it to Charlotte.  She is surprised he is delivering it.

“You’ve brought me a letter from Susan?  What about?”

“I’m not privy to the content of this one,” he replies with a cheeky grin.

“Then I believe it can wait till we are back at the house,” she says as she places the letter into her pocket.  “I do not want to waste my precious time with a letter when I can spend it with you.”

He is fully smiling now, as he takes her hands again.  “Charlotte.  I am the happiest man in Sanditon and it’s all because of you.”

“I too am happy ... more so than ever before in my life.”

He touches her cheek, takes her hand and links it into his elbow, placing his other over it as they walk on, smiling, laughing and talking of their families and their future.  He is caught up in surprise at the idea that he will be brother-in-law to eleven children of all ages, and she expresses her delight at being aunt to the Parker children.

“Aunt Admiral Heywood!” he jokingly exclaims, but then corrects his mistake, “Ah no, Aunt Admiral Parker!”

They are laughing now as she insists, “But we cannot both be Admiral Parker, can we?”

“Can we not?  Uncle and Aunt Admirals Parker!”

Laughing out loud Charlotte exclaims, “We are being so silly!”

“Yes, we are!  And is it not agreeable?”

“Most agreeable!” she replies, grasping his hand and swinging it back and forth.

“You have brought back the young Sidney in me Charlotte!”

“I like this young Sidney!  Indeed I am happy to meet him!”

“As am I!” 

“And now, we can rewrite our history.  And there will be none of it disagreeable.”

“Ah yes, and as to the future, it is but a blank page.  We need only to pick up the quill, Admiral Heywood.”

“Yes.”  Charlotte smiles as she remembers that enjoyable afternoon with the children, “I will never forget that day by the river – it was a kind of turning point for us, don’t you think?”

“Yes, well, the first of several – we’ve had so many turning points we should both be in a dizzy faint!”

Charlotte laughs, and looks up to him, nodding vigourously.  His breath catches yet again at the beauty he sees.  He is lost in wonder that this lovely girl has chosen him and remained so steadfast in loving him, through the weeks of pain and loss that they can now finally put behind them.

“You are the woman of my dreams, Charlotte,” he says, his voice warm with contentment, “and I love you.”

Chapter Text

Arriving back at Trafalgar House, Sidney cheerfully dismisses Hodges as he takes Charlotte’s bonnet, putting it on the stand with his hat and cane.  Charlotte moves forward, looking up to his portrait. 

“Sidney, this portrait is the first thing I noticed when I entered this house, when Tom and Mary first brought me here from Willingden.”

“Oh?” he asks, appearing both pleased and curious.

“Yes, and I’ve been drawn to it so often.” She giggles as she continues, “Mary caught me staring at it the morning after our ‘meeting’ at the cove.”

“Did she now?” he asks, chuckling at the thought, and remembering Mary’s comments on it.  “I can’t see why you’d be drawn to it.  I’ve asked Tom on several occasions to remove it, at least to a back room if he must insist on displaying it, but he ignores my requests.  I’m not fond of it.  Actually, Mary mentioned to me that she’d caught you here.”

“Oh!  You did not tell her, surely?”

“Fear not, I told her nothing, Charlotte.  She’d have taken me severely to task.”

Charlotte looks back at him in relief as he saunters towards her.  “I was so embarrassed,” she continues, “She must’ve thought me very strange.  It was as if she was reading my mind.  She mentioned my beach walk and asked if anything impressive had caught my eye.”

Sidney, smirking, raises one eyebrow, and teasingly asks, “Hmm, really?  And had it?”

“Oh.  Sidney!”

“Well?  Come Miss Heywood, you are not usually so reluctant to voice your thoughts.  Share them with me!”

“Well ... I ...” she stammers softly, looking down and away, “well ... yes.”  She looks almost defiantly up to him then as she exclaims, “But of course, I couldn’t tell her!”

 Sidney is delighted, and chuckles again, indulging in the fun of teasing her, and enjoying her awkward reaction.

“And what would Mary have discovered if she had been reading your mind?” he asks, running his fingers along his jaw.

“Sidn-e-yyyy!” she exclaims, almost wailing with embarrassment.

Putting his hands on her shoulders, and holding her gaze he says softly, “Well, Charlotte, soon we will be able to meet that way whenever we wish, and rest assured I won’t be asking can I never escape you.”

“Oh-h-h,” she replies awkwardly, her cheeks now red as she pulls away, “Sidney, stop it!”   

“Why?” he asks, chuckling softly.

“You’re embarrassing me again!”

“Again?” he asks, raising both eyebrows this time, and feigning surprise, “Ah-h, so, in spite of being fully clothed, you were embarrassed that day after all!”

Charlotte sighs, screwing her face up as she looks away, admitting, “Of course I was, and I am sure you already knew it.  I just had to make it seem otherwise when you spoke of it.”

Taking pity on her he admits, “Well if it makes you feel any better, I was embarrassed too.  Although I tried to appear unaffected at the time I drank myself into a stupor that night at the Crown. When I think back, I now believe I should have made a proposal of marriage to you there and then.”

Charlotte gasps in surprise.

“But you had run away,” he continues, smiling at the memory, “and I didn’t know proper protocol.  I had no idea how to behave every time we collided with each other – which seemed to be with alarming frequency in the couple of days that followed!” he says as he takes off his coat, moving back to place it on the rack.

“And I hid under Tom’s desk!” Charlotte chokes out, with the faintest of smiles, putting her hand to her forehead and closing her eyes.

As Sidney turns to her he barks out a laugh, startling her. “So, you were hiding! I knew it!”  He cannot hold in his amusement and she finds she must join in.

“Actually,” he says, serious again, “while we are making confessions ... the first time I saw you, that day I met you walking with Mary, I noticed you before I’d even alighted from the curricle, but, well, I had to protect myself.”

“Protect yourself?”

“Mm-hmm ...” he replies, as his voice softens, “you were beautiful.”  She catches her breath at his tenderly spoken words. “I could easily fall.  I could not allow that so of course up went my guard!” he continues quietly.  “What a dismissive fool I was to pretend I thought you Mary’s new maid.”

 “You knew I was not?” she asks.

“I knew.  I saw how comfortable you were, you and Mary linking arms.  It was obvious you were very good friends.”

“Yes.  I found her lovely from the moment we met,” she says, remembering the unusual circumstances of her first meeting with Mary.

“When you helped her out of the broken carriage.”

“You knew of that?” she asks in surprise.

“Something of it.  I was more interested in you than I allowed you to believe.  I asked Tom that afternoon how you came to be a house guest.  Then, the night after you returned to Willingden Mary told me the whole story, how you’d put down your hunting gun to run to the accident, to help them out of the carriage.”

“I was hunting for dinner.”

“Yes, I know.  Mary told me you are a crack shot,” he replies.  “Charlotte, I was such a fool in those early days of our acquaintance!  My dreadful behaviour at the ball ... I knew the truth of your assessment of Tom, and I was annoyed that you should be so accurate.  I was in danger of allowing myself to become attached, and was afraid of that.  I had no desire to risk my heart again.  So what did I do?  I behaved like a senseless, arrogant brute.  I knew you were right, but I tried to turn it against you.”

“But I was discourteous –”

“No.  I asked your opinion and you gave it.  I chose to believe you were a silly girl who knew nothing of the world.  I was most unfair,” he insists. 

“Well, I should not have spoken of Tom and Arthur that way to their brother, especially as I barely knew you,” she replies with regret.

Trying to lighten the conversation Sidney attempts a little humour.  “Hmm ... had I known of your rifle skills, I wonder if I might have been so arrogant!” he says teasingly, “In the interests of my own safety I might have been less inclined to offend you!”

Charlotte chuckles, as she replies, “That is worth remembering for future reference, should you be tempted to cause me any irritation!”

They share a laugh, before he becomes serious again, saying, “Of course, I confirmed your poor opinion of me at the building site!  I foiled any beginnings of a friendship with you – deliberately!  In truth I was unable to think of you without feeling totally bewildered.  So again I was rude. Your angry reply made me feel ashamed.  I wanted to follow you to apologise, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit I was – as you said – so offensive and hurtful.”

“Oh.  You always remember my words!” she exclaims.

“So I should!  They are words of wisdom.  I wouldn’t have admitted it then, but I do now.  Charlotte, how did you ever manage to fall in love with me?  I do not deserve you,” he says, moving away from the coat stand to walk back to her.

“No-o ... all these things are over and done with.  I believe they are part of what we had to go through to find what we now have.  You refused to accept my apology in London, but we have both made mistakes, and for what I so wrongly accused you of I am sorry.”

“There is no need for apology my love ...”

“We are both less than perfect,” she says, “but whatever our imperfections, you are the one that I want to spend my life with ... and ... you love me.”  She smiles as she adds, “That is all I need to know.” 

Sidney gives a slight shake of his head, as he replies, “You are so much more than I deserve.  You say there is nothing to forgive, but I don’t forget the pain I have caused you, nor should I.  For the rest of my days your happiness will always come before all else.  That is a solemn promise, my love.”

“You are an exceptional man Sidney Parker, and I love you.  But you are still troubled by what has occurred, while I am not.  What has just happened for us on the beach – it has been a revelation for me in many ways, and I am now content. You deserve this same contentment, but Sidney, it is not my forgiveness that you must seek.  It is your own.”

Sidney appears surprised, as if this is something he has not considered.  He looks deeply into her eyes, and says very softly, “Then I shall try.  Thank you, sweetheart, for your understanding.”

Feeling swept up in his adoring gaze, Charlotte says simply, “Sidney, I am so happy.  I thought I could never have this kind of happiness.”

“I felt that way too, Charlotte.  But this jaded heart is beating like that of a young man today, all thanks to you.”

Charlotte laughs softly, looking at her hands.  “Lady Susan will say ‘I told you so’!”

“Ah yes, she has a sixth sense about such things.  I only wish I could have visited her when I first went to London to try to help Tom, but she was from home.  She might have set me straight on a few things and stopped my doing something so irrational.  She certainly thought I was foolish when she received your letter.  She gave me a stern talking to!  Told me it was simply unacceptable that I would marry anyone but Charlotte!  Like you, she believes marriage should be for love, not wealth.”

“And you?”

“I do.  You've taught me that.  Nothing else will do.”

“Well, if your decision was foolish, it was also kind and well-meant.”  She looks up to find Sidney gazing at her, his face inscrutable.  “What is it?”

“Charlotte, thank you.”  He takes both her hands in his own.

“For what?”

“For accepting this imperfect man ... for forgiving me ... helping me to find my truest self ... making me laugh again ... for loving me, Charlotte.  You are my happiness.”

Sidney has continued to hold her gaze as he has spoken, and now he leans in, sliding his hands to her waist and pressing his lips to hers.  She responds with the joy of knowing that her love is returned.  Barely a moment into the kiss, however, their bliss is rudely interrupted.

“Sidney!” Tom shouts, his body rigid with the shock of discovering his brother in an intimate embrace, not with his betrothed, but with the Parkers’ house guest.  “What are you doing?”

Startled out of the kiss Charlotte tries to move back, but Sidney still holds her quite firmly.  He smiles at Tom, his eyes shining with love for Charlotte, and just a hint of teasing for his brother.

“Do you want to ruin our Charlotte, Sidney?  Thank the good heavens it is only I who has witnessed this!”  In his alarm the pitch of Tom’s voice has risen sharply.

“Ah!  Tom,” Sidney replies calmly, now looking quite smug.  “We need to talk.”  

Chapter Text

Tom is horrified. Charlotte, embarrassed, tries to pull away saying quietly, “I will leave you to it gentlemen.”

Sidney tightens his hold on her. “No, Charlotte please, I need you with me.” He tilts his head and his eyes widen as he looks beseechingly at her, as if to emphasise the importance of her presence as he continues, “Please, you belong beside me!”

Tom gives no sign that he has heard this remark from Sidney; he is staring open-mouthed at him.

Charlotte looks up to Sidney with a shy smile, before suggesting, “Then shouldn’t Mary be here?”

“Ah.  Yes.  Tom, please ask Mary to join us,” Sidney says looking Tom’s way, “if she is well enough that is, or perhaps we can go to her room.”

Tom looks disgusted, anxious and totally confused.  He holds up his hand to have them wait, as he leaves the room.  Sidney looks down to Charlotte’s troubled face and shrugs, grinning at her mischievously, like a naughty young boy.

“Sidney, are you not at all worried about Tom’s reaction here?” she asks, aghast at his nonchalance.

“No.  Charlotte, I’m too damned happy!  I have never been so happy,” he replies, still grinning down at her.

She giggles as he hugs her closer, kissing the tip of her nose.  “Whatever he is thinking my love, he cannot take this away from us this time.”

They make their way to the dining room to wait, standing side by side, Sidney holding fast to her hand.  When Mary enters with Tom, they all take seats at the table, Sidney ensuring he is directly opposite his brother.  As Tom has already mentioned to Mary something of what he has witnessed, there is awkwardness amongst them, except for Sidney; he is positively beaming at Charlotte.

Coming to business, Sidney folds his arms onto the table.  Now taking a serious pose he looks directly at Tom, and begins to explain, “Tom, much has happened in the last couple of days, but first of all I want to say to you and Mary that the Sanditon project is still perfectly safe financially.”

Tom stares at him.

“The financial arrangements for resolving your debt have changed,” Sidney continues, “but insurance and security for the rebuilding have been guaranteed, for all the investors and all of your workers; there are contracts being drawn up as we speak.  But there is something important that I must tell both of you.”

Charlotte looks down at her hands folded on the table.  Tom continues to stare at Sidney, while Mary looks curiously from Sidney to Charlotte and back, remaining silent.

Sidney looks first to Mary, then meets and holds Tom’s glare, “I will not be marrying Mrs Campion.”

Tom gasps, clearly angry, and begins to object, “B-but –”

Sidney waves him quiet, “Let me finish, Tom.  Hear me out.” 

Tom looks sulky, but takes a breath and gives an impatient nod of his head.

“I do not love Mrs Campion,” Sidney says bluntly.

“What?” Tom asks, almost bellowing with shock.

Sidney allows a pause, and then looking directly at Tom speaks very confidently, and more slowly for Tom’s benefit in understanding, “You heard me Tom, I do not love Mrs Campion.”

“But at the regatta – Sidney, you said you finally had the impossible within your grasp!” Tom gasps.

“Within my grasp ... hmm ... yes.  But you will recall I also told you to steady on, that there was no need to rush things, and that it was in fact a strange feeling.  The shock of seeing her at the London ball – the pleasant surprise of it – had already diminished somewhat.  I admit that I was confused; I had not seen her in all the years since she had jilted me.  At Mrs Maudsley’s rout my reaction was one of a man who had not let go of what he had believed to be true and lasting love.  Unfinished business, you might say.”

Sidney glances at Charlotte with a hesitant smile, wanting to ensure she is comfortable with the conversation regarding Eliza.  She returns his smile, indicating with a small nod her silent approval to continue.

“I soon realised that what I thought I had with her 10 years ago I no longer even wanted.  You told me at the regatta that I was a new man, but it was not Mrs Campion who had wrought that change in me, Tom.  In fact, I spent the whole day comparing her with another woman who had already captured my heart, I just hadn’t fully realised it at that point in time.”

Mary glances at Charlotte, raising her eyebrows. Tom is still gaping, open-mouthed at Sidney.

“My thoughts were muddled, but I only needed a few hours in Mrs Campion’s company to know without doubt that I had fallen in love with another.  I told Mrs Campion I could not consider her as more than a friend.  She left for London very much put out with me.”

“But Sidney!” Tom shouts, leaping to his feet, “How could you not still love Eliza?  She is charming!  And wealthy!  And you proposed to her!  You are engaged to her!  How can you disengage?  Oh ... What will we do now?” he asks loudly, throwing his arms about, “We are ruined!”

Mary catches Charlotte’s eye, both then looking down and away.

Sidney, now irritated, barks sharply at his brother, “Tom, sit down!  I am not entirely heartless!  Alright, so this is not what you wanted, but you will not suffer.  As I have already said, your backing is secure.  But allow me to finish.  You need to hear this, what I did to try to remedy your situation!  It was no small thing Tom!  Please pay attention!  You owe me that, at least!”

Tom slumps heavily back into his seat, much peeved that Sidney is not allowing him control of the conversation.

Taking a deep breath, Sidney goes on, “At the midsummer ball – and you will recall, Tom, Mrs Campion was not in attendance - I intended to offer a proposal of marriage to the woman I mean to share my life with.  Unfortunately our conversation was interrupted, firstly by Sir Edward Denham, and then of course, the fire.  After that terrible night, trying to save you and your family, the workers, and Sanditon itself, I made the most monumental mistake of my life.  Nobody in London, no bank, business or friend, wanted anything to do with your project Tom.  Even Eliza Campion had turned me away.  I would be returning to Sanditon empty handed.”

Tom is staring at Sidney in astonishment.

“Eliza turned down your marriage proposal?” he asks in disbelief.

“I did not propose marriage!” Sidney declares with irritation, “I was in London to secure funds, not a wife!  I already had plans for marriage which did not include Mrs Campion!”

“But –”

“Tom!  Stop!  Please allow me to speak without interruption!”

Tom pulls back into his chair, his face surly, as Sidney continues, “On the day before I was to leave London, Eliza Campion sent for me, claiming that she wanted to discuss a business offer.  I became hopeful that she would assist us for old times’ sake.  But no, her proposal was to cost me my happiness – and that of the woman I love – she would fully meet your debts and finance the repairs, but only on the condition that we marry.”

Tom opens his mouth to speak, but a withering glare from Sidney keeps him silent.

“She knew that I was in love with another,” Sidney says, “as I had told her so after the regatta.  I became angry at her proposition.  I declined.  I left her house, fully intending to ignore her offer, but I was sick with worry.  For many hours I walked aimlessly around the streets of London, trying to think of another way.  Eventually, beaten down by the hopelessness of the situation, I found myself back at her house just on nightfall.  She greeted me with condescension and stated smugly, ‘I knew you would be back’.  That is the woman you think so highly of Tom, the woman you expected me to bind myself to, for the rest of my life.”

Tom makes a weak noise, as if choking, as his eyes remain large and bulging in disbelief.

“I felt only despair Tom,” Sidney says, looking directly into his brother’s eyes, and pausing a moment to make sure he is paying attention, “but to avoid Lady Denham’s threats to you, Mary and the children, I agreed to the terms of her bargain.  I did not propose marriage Tom, I had reached an impasse.  I forced myself to accept this engagement to a woman I did not love, and have in a few short weeks come to strongly dislike.  I’m now very much alert to what I should have done, and with the help of others I’ve taken steps to make amends.  A syndicate of dear and loyal friends will provide the funding for both reimbursement of your crippling debt, and investment in resurrecting the Sanditon project.  We will speak more of that later.  Suffice to say for now that I’ve declined the engagement to Mrs Campion, and she will not be required to provide any funds towards the Sanditon project after all.

In confusion and incredulity, Tom continues to protest, “But what of the funds she has already provided?  We cannot afford to repay her.  You will have to go ahead with your –”

“Tom!  Listen!  I have just explained.  The debt will be met!  Mrs Campion has not yet been asked to provide any funds.  I’ve paid the most urgent debts from my own reserves, and have covered the men’s wages as well.  You do not owe anything to Mrs Campion.”  He pauses to ensure Tom does not misunderstand the new position he is taking, and then adds, “Those debts you owe to me.”

Tom is gaping, stunned into silence, suddenly aware of the shift in Sidney’s thinking, astounded to see that his brother is intent on only lending, not giving to his project.  Mary remains quiet, but looks knowingly to Sidney as he continues, “And the best part?  I am going to marry, finally!  I will marry the woman I love more than life itself ... Charlotte.”  He covers her hands with one of his and looks tenderly at her, as she smiles back shyly.

Tom’s chair scrapes hard on the floor as he leaps to his feet in alarm.  Stunned by this news he stares unseeingly at his brother.  His world is spinning, out of control.  How can this be?  His anxious waiting for access to Eliza’s seemingly unlimited wealth to fund his dreams for Sanditon – it has all been in vain.  Shocked to the core, he sees each and every one of his hopes catch fire and burn, as if lost again in the inferno of weeks ago, reduced once more to a smoking ruin.  He tries helplessly to take in the meaning of it all, but this astonishing development, this loss of all he has been anticipating brings him close to collapse.    

Horrified, Tom can only croak, “Charlotte?”

Chapter Text

Ignoring her husband’s state of panic, Mary rises from her chair and rushes round to Charlotte and Sidney, reaching her arms around both of them as they turn to her, and exclaiming excitedly, “Oh! This is wonderful! This is how it should have been in the first place!”

They both look up at Mary with delighted smiles, and Sidney shifts his gaze back to Charlotte as he replies, “Yes, it is, Mary.”

“Charlotte?” Tom chokes out, “Good grief! ... I don’t underst ... how long? ... when did? ...”

“I don’t think either of us can give you a definite time or place that these feelings began, Tom,” Sidney says, without turning to him, “it all appears to have crept up on us unawares. We were in the middle before we knew that we had begun.” He continues to share an adoring look with Charlotte.

Tom is reeling from this news.  He looks at Mary and asks almost accusingly, “You knew?”

Mary draws back from her hold on the happy couple and looks reproachfully at her husband, finding it difficult to speak without being disparaging of his behaviour.

“I only suspected at first,” she replies, “but I was very hopeful!  As time went on it became obvious Tom!  I did try to share with you what I was thinking, but you were not in any mood to listen.  You were captivated by some other idea.”

“So, I had it all wrong,” Tom says glumly, now breathing heavily, “I am staggered that Mary knew how you felt!”  He looks at each of the others in turn, all staring at him in silence, and realisation slowly dawns that he has opened up a chasm of mistrust with his outburst.  In typical Tom Parker fashion he takes a sudden about-turn in position that he hopes will bring sympathy from them.  

“Sidney, Charlotte, my humble apologies!  What I have put you through.  I have been so blind to all this.  Was this all occurring right before me?  I was so relieved and happy when you engaged with Eliza.  I saw that you were so enamoured!” he babbles on.

“No, Tom.  You saw what you wanted to see,” Sidney replies, unwilling to let Tom be forgiven easily, “I was not enamoured.  Never enamoured.  ‘Befuddled’ would be a better description.”

Charlotte giggles, bringing a hint of a smile to Sidney’s face, while he continues to make sure Tom is aware of what they had been prepared to give up for him, “But not for long.  It was a mere distraction.  Charlotte has had my heart in her keeping for months.  I simply had to realise it for myself.  She’s brought me back from the gloomy man that I was, to find joy in life again.  She is my strength.”

“But what of Eliza, Sidney?  What will she do now?”

Sidney’s face hardens.  He stares at the man opposite, feeling a swell of anger that his own brother could be so insensitive to the feelings of the young woman sitting beside him, the young woman who has worked with such determination to help Tom achieve his dream for Sanditon, the young woman who has returned immediately at Tom’s request for help with his sick wife and their family.  He feels the impulse to leap across to grip Tom by the throat, but one hand is held tightly by the lovely woman at his side, and he realises she is speaking to him through her touch, pleading with him to remain calm.  He takes a deep breath, looks appreciatively at her and nods his acknowledgement of her understanding.  He looks again at Tom.

“I neither know nor care,” he says.

“But she must be so disappointed –”

“Tom!  You have just offered us your apologies, and yet you insist on worrying about the woman who has caused all this heartache in the first place!”

“But she is all alone, a widow, she must have been devastated that you have abandoned her!  Was it you who broke the engagement?  You –”

“What?” 

Sidney is struggling to contain what is now building to a blinding rage.  The one thing preventing an outburst is that Charlotte’s grip remains firm.  He stares hard at Tom, who is suddenly lost for words in the wake of his brother’s loud, sharp question.

“I think it is time to tell you more of what this woman is capable of Tom,” Sidney growls.  “I had intended to speak of this with Charlotte first, but you leave me no choice.”  He turns to Charlotte and hesitantly asks, “Please, forgive me my love, but do you mind? I must try to put a halt to my brother’s sorely misplaced admiration for this woman.  He needs to see what she’s done, to realise exactly how she thinks of all of us, and to know the hurt she’s caused you.”

“It’s quite alright, say what you must.”  Charlotte replies encouragingly.  He squeezes her hand in gratitude, before looking back with disgust at his brother.

“When I went to London, Tom," Sidney says tersely, "I knew my task was well nigh impossible.  I was already aware from my previous attempts to borrow on your behalf that you had lost all respect as a borrower with the London banks.  Nevertheless I put in long hours each day seeking assistance, visiting one lending house after another with no success.  However, it was not as if they wanted to hear the details of what I was seeking funds for.  On each occasion I had the strong impression that they were already waiting for my visit, and were prepared to give me a disappointing response.”

“Surely I still had their respect?  I have dealt with them for years!” Tom exclaims, bristling.

“No Tom.  There was not one encouraging response.  But only earlier this week, I discovered the chief reason for that.”

Sidney pauses, watching Tom’s reaction, wanting to ensure he is finally taking in that there is a very serious reason for this break he has made from Eliza.

“It was not only your poor business reputation that prevented my success Tom. Mrs Campion had heard of the fire, and was informed that I had come to London to seek financial assistance.  She had a very busy few days herself, it seems, visiting the banks and other lending houses, ensuring they would not lend you as much as a thrupenny bit.”

Charlotte’s gasp, and Mary’s “Oh no!” are noted by Sidney but ignored by Tom.

“She would not!” he exclaims.

“She did,” Sidney replies abruptly.  “You can deny this all you wish, Tom, but this woman took steps to ensure your trip to the debtor’s prison, should I not agree to her bargain.  She cares nothing for you, or this family.  I had rejected her wish to reconcile.  She wanted her pound of flesh.  This was her opportunity.  And ... she could also hurt Charlotte for winning my heart.”

“I cannot believe it!” Tom says.  “That Mrs Campion would do this.”

“Believe it Tom,” Sidney replies, “I put it to her and she could not deny it. And now, that is enough of Eliza Campion.  She has no place in our discussion from this point forward.”

“Oh-h-h!” Tom moans, head in his hands, “Can you ever forgive me?”

“It is alright,” Charlotte replies, “there is no sense looking back, and it has turned out well.”

“No, I must disagree,” Sidney declares firmly, “Charlotte has suffered more than all the rest of us!”

He looks at her tenderly, gently squeezing her hand again.  “You have shown us nothing but kindness and understanding,” he says, “while your own heart was broken, at my doing!  You have put everyone else’s happiness before your own, but things must change now.”

Sidney looks to Tom, and says in his sternest voice, “Tom, you need to take responsibility for the things you’ve expected others to do until now, especially Charlotte.  This will be discussed at a meeting that will be arranged with the investors before the end of next week.  And I will no longer go to the banks, seeking funds on your behalf; sufficient that Charlotte and I continue to invest as we see fit, and invite others to your events, but no more than that.  And the regatta – it was not your regatta Tom.  Its success, we all know, was down to Charlotte and her ability to make friends and draw people here.”

Tom, now looking guilty, mumbles, “Yes, of course.”

“I’ve learned from when Charlotte reprimanded me in the carriage in London,” Sidney continues, “I realised I was remiss, expecting too much of others for my responsibilities to Georgiana.  It’s your turn now Tom, to sort yourself out.  I think we would all agree on this?” he asks, raising an eyebrow as he looks at the women.

“Well, yes”, Charlotte replies, “thinking on it as you put it, Sidney, I find I must agree.”

“I certainly agree,” Mary says firmly, “Tom you have been very fortunate that you have such willing help and such loyal family, and I am so happy to include Charlotte as family now!”  She reaches to Charlotte, putting light pressure on her free hand, and they share a smile while Sidney contentedly looks on.

Tom mutters, almost agitatedly, “It would appear I must change my thinking and turn over a new leaf.”

“Talk’s cheap, Tom,” Sidney says, “You must act on your promises, now!  Remember what we spoke of at Bedford Place, stop merely dreaming and take responsibility for running your business properly.  Give proper time to family.  Manage your days better.”

“I will do this,” Tom says with seemingly new conviction.

“I intend to suggest we promote Mr Stringer to a position of authority as Project Manager, and Fred Robinson to Foreman,” Sidney says, striking while Tom is actually listening.  “The money is there, and you will use it wisely in future, as the investors will always have a voice in financial decisions.  This too will be discussed at the proposed meeting.  Their involvement is a condition of their investment.”

Tom begins to object, worrying that his dream will slip from his control after all.  “But am I not the visionary in this?” he asks petulantly.

“Let’s discuss it in a few days’ time,” Sidney replies, unwilling to be badgered further by his brother,  on this most wonderful day of his life, “I am going to be otherwise occupied until then.  The meeting will be arranged around all the investors’ itineraries, as soon as possible.”

“Of course brother,” Tom says, moving closer and patting Sidney on the shoulder, sadly realising he has lost the ability to influence or control him. 

Finding Tom’s touch somewhat irritating, Sidney continues with his directions, persisting with the explanation of his plan, “Charlotte and I will no longer be your unpaid help, Tom. I’m looking forward to having Charlotte share in all aspects of my life, including my business, so we’ll initially be in London a lot. We may settle in Sanditon later.  We will go where Charlotte is happiest, and that may even be closer to her own family.”

“Oh! ...” Charlotte gasps.

“It’s only right,” he says, squeezing her hand as he continues to look directly at Tom, “and I honestly don’t care where we live, I’ll be happy anywhere as long as I’m with Charlotte.”  He looks to her and quietly says, “All I need is for you to be by my side.” 

With Sidney gripping her hands, smiling lovingly at her, she grins cheekily back at him, saying, “See, I knew you were the sensible brother!”

Sidney and Charlotte laugh as their faces come close together.  Tom looks confused, while Mary smiles approvingly at them.

Sidney says to Charlotte in a gentle, apologetic tone, “I never should have doubted your opinions, any of them.  They’ve all proved accurate.”

“But I got so much wrong too, my naive way of looking at a thing...” she admits.

“I love your way of looking at a thing ... especially if I am the thing ...” he replies, smiling as he touches his forehead to hers.

They continue with faces close, chuckling at his jest, and uncaring that they have an audience, caught up again in the wonder of their newfound happiness.  Mary and Tom share a glance, and then look back at the star crossed couple.  Tom is struggling to accept the conditions Sidney has outlined.

“But Sidney, how am I supposed to –” he persists, not caring that he is spoiling the intimate moment.

Sidney looks up, annoyed, knowing immediately where Tom will try to take the conversation, but this time he is not interested in his attempts at manipulation.

“Tom, this is vital if you are to succeed with Sanditon,” Sidney warns him sternly, “there are no more chances. You must take the helm, listen to the workers, take advice from Mr Stringer, or delegate these duties to a suitable person, and listen to your investors.”

“But I need you Sidney ... and Charlotte!”

“No.  You don’t.  Not as other than investors, Tom,” Sidney replies, “we will give practical help when essential, but the everyday management is yours.  What you must do is step up Tom.  It is your dream.  You must make it your reality.  You are accountable.  Don’t muddle it up again.  And invite the investors to take an interest in what you do and how you lead the project.  You will be answerable to them.”

There is a pause, as Tom tries to take Sidney’s advice to heart.  Shrugging, he agrees to what Sidney has said, realising he must accept that this is the way it will be from now on.

Like Sidney, Mary is eager to move to more pleasant topics.  She moves again towards Charlotte, happy with the news that this lovely young friend is to be her sister after all.  The pain of the last few weeks is falling away. 

“I couldn’t wish for a lovelier sister-in-law!  I cannot wait for it!” Mary declares.

“Thank you so much Mary,” Charlotte replies, standing to meet her and share an embrace, “I feel exactly the same way.  I am just so happy, I cannot describe it!”

Pulling himself up to put his usual public persona forward, Tom moves to the decanter to pour drinks.  Mary suggests that the drinks should be small as all are due to break fast.  Handing the glasses round, he holds his aloft and says loudly, “Congratulations to Sidney and Charlotte.  We wish you a long and happy life together.”

As all indulge in a little celebration, Tom sees Mary’s delight with the situation and knows he is the odd one out in this happy circle.  There is much he wants to say; he would dearly like to speak of Eliza and the wealth she would have brought to his dreams for Sanditon, but he knows he has lost the controlling hand now, and such talk would only bring Sidney’s wrath down heavily upon him.  His brother is blissfully happy with Charlotte, perplexing as that may be, and he does not dare to speak of the plans he had intended to put in place.  He will lick his wounds much later, away from knowing eyes.

Chapter Text

 Since speaking with Tom and Mary, and then breaking their fast, Sidney and Charlotte have spent the morning at Trafalgar House talking softly together about the many changes they will have in their lives and what will need to be accomplished in the next few weeks. Tom has retreated to the study and Mary is spending time with the children. Having decided that Sidney should travel to Willingden to advise the Heywood family of their news, they are interrupted by noises at the door, to find Arthur, Diana, Georgiana and Otis entering the room, all surprised by Sidney’s presence back in Sanditon so soon.

Noticing immediately the closeness between Sidney and Charlotte, Georgiana is first to comment.

“So, Sidney!  What is it that has brought you back to Sanditon so soon?  I hope you come bearing the best possible news!”  she says.  From his relaxed, happy appearance she is certain that he will be telling them all exactly what they hope to hear.

Sharing a glance and a nod with Charlotte, Sidney takes her hand, and turns to his ward with a beaming smile.

“Yes, Georgiana, I do.  I have accomplished what I had to in London, and Charlotte has done me the greatest honour.  She has agreed to marry me.”

Great excitement follows, Georgiana squealing with happiness as she rushes in to embrace first Charlotte and then Sidney, declaring that she could not be more delighted.  Diana follows her example, sharing that she had not been aware of their mutual admiration until this week but is absolutely elated that her brother has found happiness with Charlotte.  Arthur takes Sidney by the shoulders, congratulating him gleefully, and suggesting that all at Sanditon House should be informed.  Sidney asks, however, that the news be kept within the walls of Trafalgar House until he has spoken with Mr Heywood.  Otis is also wearing a beaming smile, and offers Sidney and Charlotte his sincere good wishes for a wonderful married life.

After more celebrations, Sidney and Charlotte escape for another walk along the beach, their aim being to find a quiet space for some time alone. Sidney has insisted he talk with Charlotte of his past, his hopes for the future and even his feelings about Mrs Campion and the argument that occurred on his breaking of the engagement. They have agreed to do this by walking together for some time each day, talking of whatever they feel is important.  Sidney wants no doubts in the way of their happiness and is prepared to reveal all Charlotte might wish to know.  Charlotte loves this new side to the once taciturn gentleman who had been so determined to keep his personal life a mystery.  She jokingly suggests that the much improved version of Mr Sidney Parker is becoming more lovable every day. Sidney simply responds with a rumbling laugh and a warm embrace. 

They walk to their cove and sit together on the rock that they had shared early this morning.  Charlotte invites him to read Susan’s letter with her, and he squeezes her hand, delighted at her request. She breaks the seal, and Sidney moves in close, reaching his hand behind to rest on her far shoulder, as she begins to read.

My dear Charlotte,

If you are reading this letter, it will be a happy occasion for you, as a certain gentleman will surely have asked for your hand in marriage and I have no doubt you will have accepted his proposal.  I can only say I am delighted beyond words for both of you.  I know that Sidney believes you to be the most precious young lady of his acquaintance, and that he has fallen completely under your spell.   I believe also that perhaps he might think himself undeserving of your affection so you may have to convince him otherwise!  In the short time that I have been acquainted with him I have discovered him to be a most impressive young man, loyal, honest and kind, and utterly devoted to you.  Already, I regard him as a most esteemed friend.

I must thank you, Charlotte for the letter you sent me on your return to Willingden.  The content I did find shocking, but it also gave me the impetus to look into the matter most thoroughly.  I simply had to visit Sidney to ascertain if he was suffering as you were, and if so, to use any resources at my disposal to assist both of you to have the life you had been denied.  It was a distressing revelation!  I found that Sidney was indeed in as much pain as you my dear, and this terrible state of affairs for both of you simply had to be remedied.  I am delighted that we have secured such a satisfying conclusion to this hurtful situation that should never have occurred in the first place.

By now, Sidney will have given you some of the details of our plans to clear his brother’s debts and begin anew in making Sanditon a resort to be proud of.  You can be sure that all who have joined the investment group are celebrating their inclusion, and are eager to see it succeed.  Our other reason for celebrating is the certain knowledge that you and Sidney will now be able to enjoy the happiness that you deserve.

This has been a difficult time indeed for both of you but now you can take pleasure in planning a lifetime of joy and contentment in which you will be there for each other at every turn.

Did I not tell you that I am never wrong when it comes to matters of the heart?

I am overjoyed that fortune has turned for you, my two most deserving friends.  I wish you every happiness, as I know that you are meant for each other.

I look forward to your reply, my dear girl.  I must have you and Sidney to my home for a celebration of this wonderful event as soon as we can arrange it!

With my fondest regards,

Susan

“Oh Sidney,” Charlotte says, her eyes glistening with happy tears, “what might have happened, had Susan not intervened?”

“I truly don’t know, but I want to think I would have found another way.  You know, Charlotte, I have been feeling for some time that my loyalty to Tom has been sorely misplaced. There is, in fact, something he has done which I discovered the day I returned to see Mary, something which is against what he has promised, and I intend to speak with him about it, but not today.”

“Is it serious?” she asks worriedly.

“It could have been, but fortunately he did not succeed with his plan, whatever that might have been.  He will find when he attends the meeting next week that he has no control over the financial aspects of the project.  Susan has already indicated to me that he will not be pleased with their conditions.”

“Oh dear, he already appears disgruntled that there will be a board of management to answer to,” Charlotte says.

“Yes.  That will be unfamiliar, and displeasing to him of course, but what I find particularly irritating is his failure to consider others.  This morning he failed to display any gratitude for the steps so many are taking to drag him back from disgrace and ruin.  If not for Mary and the children, I might have let him go to debtor’s prison, if only to make him reflect on his selfish reliance on others.”

“Especially you!” she replies, knowing that this time he will not berate her as he did months ago.

“And you, Charlotte.  He has exploited your generosity also, with no gratitude for your accomplishments.  I find that difficult to forgive.”

“Sidney, are we just a pair of silly fools, easily taken in by others’ trickery?” she asks.

“Ah, I didn't think I'd ever hear such a thing from my confident Charlotte,” he replies, “but please, don’t let his selfishness cause you uncertainty.  I love you for your wonderful ability – to see the faults in others but still have compassion enough to help them.  If it were not for that, you would have dismissed me long ago.”

Charlotte shakes her head and leans into him, her whispered “No” telling him that this complete devotion that Susan has written of in her letter is very much returned.  They sit together in happy silence on the rock they have now claimed as their own, Sidney’s arm holding her close as they look out across the waves, appreciating this shared contentment that has been so long in coming.  Eventually they begin to discuss what they must do in the coming weeks, in preparation for their life together.

The only pressing matter yet is Sidney’s visit to Willingden. He and Charlotte are both eager to set a date for their wedding, and although Mr Heywood’s approval is not necessary, Sidney is determined to seek his blessing and of course meet the Heywood family.  He would go immediately and seek the opportunity to have the first of the banns read tomorrow, but with his break from Mrs Campion so new he knows he must not appear too hurried.  While Charlotte shares his excitement, her ability to remain calm is a balm to his feverish anxiety.  She suggests that she travel with him, and that they invite Georgiana to accompany them, certain her friend will welcome the opportunity to see the place where she has grown up.  It should also help to take Georgiana's mind off the fact that Otis will be leaving in the morning to undertake business in London, expecting to be absent for several days.  Sidney is immediately grateful and they begin to make their way back from the cove, to visit Georgiana and request her company on the journey. 

“May I ask you something Charlotte?” Sidney says, softly.

“Of course.”

“I want to be certain you’re happy with everything we do as we begin our life together,” he says, “I can’t imagine you idle; you’ll always want to be busy.  I know how competent you are, how well-read and organised.  When I think of the regatta’s success, your prowess on the cricket pitch, your courage in London and your valiant efforts against the fire, you amaze me.  I feel immense pride in you for all you’ve accomplished.”

He takes her hands, as he tells her how he would like to include her in his daily business activities, “My wife, my partner,” he says, smiling fondly, “not just in what happens day to day, but as my equal in all that I undertake.  So if there is a new venture to consider, we do it together and we make the decisions together.  Nothing would make me happier.  That is, if you wish it.  What do you think my love?”

“Oh!  Yes please!  But I will have so much to learn.  Is it possible I could actually make a worthwhile contribution?”

“Do you remember my thoughts at the London ball – that you were more than equal to any woman there?”

Charlotte nods.

“Then I will say now, you are more than equal to any challenge the business world might pitch your way.  I’m delighted that I’ll have you by my side.”

“I will be delighted to be by your side!” she responds happily.

“But feel free to take your time,” he insists, “I’m happy to wait, as we’ll be busy introducing you to London for a while.  When you’re ready, just say the word.”

“Of course.”

“Thank you my love.  I need you with me.”  He takes her hand, patting it with his in a protective way.

“Thank you! I promise you, I will not disappoint you.”

Smiling admiringly, he replies, “I know it.”

Chapter Text

As the happy couple walk back along the sand it is as if the floodgate has opened for Sidney, wanting to talk about all that has happened in his life that might be of interest to Charlotte and demonstrate his commitment to their future happiness.  In truth he is still somewhat disbelieving, that everything has been resolved so quickly.  He turns to her, to speak more of what is on his mind, and in his heart.

“Without you Charlotte, I have not lived.  I’ve merely existed.  I’ve been the most miserable of men.”  He slows his pace, looking at her, a touch of sadness crossing his face as he continues, “When you left for Willingden, I was wretched.  At Trafalgar House I only needed to close my eyes to believe you were there.  You were in every room, all around me, even in the air that I breathed.  I wanted to seek you out, speak with you, to catch your smile.  But all I found was empty space – in the house, and in my heart.  You were everywhere, and nowhere at all!”

Charlotte is silent as they walk on, remembering her own despair of that day as she travelled to Willlingden, her heartbreak ever heavier with each passing mile.  She dares to glance up at him, and is surprised to find the merest trace of a smile appear on his face as he continues with a small huff, “I couldn’t believe it when I arrived back in Sanditon and there you were – and you fell into my arms!”

“Popping up when least expected!” she says cheekily.

They laugh together, before he continues, half teasing, half serious, “Your reaction upon seeing me was not flattering!"

"My apologies, I was overcome by the sight of such a handsome man in the opposite doorway!" she declares, bringing forth a laugh from him again.

"But, you were there," he says, "in the house!  Everything was again as it should be.  I knew as the afternoon progressed, with you so near again, that I could never be my truest self in some sham of a marriage with the wrong woman.  I had no idea how to change the situation, but I knew I had to move heaven and earth to achieve what was right – what was honest, and true.  I’m grateful for our loyal friends.  They helped me realise what a monstrous mistake I’d made.

“Oh Sidney ...”

They have come to a stop and Sidney takes hold of both her hands.  He looks deeply into her eyes.

“Our dance in London Charlotte – you were the most beautiful, entrancing partner I could have wished for.  I was captivated.  I wanted to hold you, never to let go.  I’d never been happier.  I was certain you felt the same way.”  He looks down at their hands while he fidgets with them.  “But then – I behaved like such a fool.” 

“No, you had not led me to any expectations,” she replies. “You had every right to approach Mrs. Campion.  After all, Tom had stepped in to ask me to dance, so it was natural for you to seek out others.”

“I must admit, seeing her there, I was shocked, and it took me back.  I’d just shared the most wonderful dance with you – my  heart was open again at last – and I was thrown by her sudden appearance after all those years, standing there, smiling at me.”  He frowns, as he thinks back to the ball, “I’m so sorry Charlotte; I think I was temporarily that infatuated youth, allowing myself to believe that fate had decreed we must meet, for what reason I didn’t know, but ... well, I don’t truly know, even now ...”

“Perhaps as you told Tom, unfinished business?” Charlotte suggests quietly.

“Exactly!” he exclaims, “I’d never understood or accepted her abandonment; I merely tried to hide the pain.  For days after that rout I was bewildered.  You were on my mind, constantly.  I wanted to enjoy your company but felt obliged to spend time with her.  I heard Tom’s excited ramblings, his desire to have her attend the regatta, and I allowed myself to be led blindly into his fantasy.  My thoughts were all over the place!”

With a sweet smile, Charlotte replies, “Befuddled.”

“Yes, befuddled indeed!” he replies, grinning just a little.

“You know, Sidney, it’s comical really, but that is the exact word Susan used to describe my state of mind when she met me at the London ball, and you used it to describe your own confusion when you were speaking with Tom!”

“Susan said that?” he asks, surprised.  She nods, smiling again at him.

Wishing to ensure she understands his behaviour of that night, Sidney continues, now serious again, “For all my travels and experience of the world, I was without a clue when it came to my heart.  I’d ridiculed your lack of experience.  Hah!  But then, the regatta – within a few hours I came to realise that you were the one, Charlotte.  And what I told you that evening, that I am my truest self when I’m with you, I know now that I cannot go through life being less than that.  So there it is, plain and simple.  I must be with you.”

“I am glad of that.”  She looks down and squeezes his hands gently.  He slowly lifts them, to kiss her wrists, and then brings them to his chest while again catching and holding her adoring gaze. 

“Charlotte ... dearest, loveliest Charlotte ... you must know you’ve lit a fire in my heart!  I want to care for you, live with you, be your love, till I draw my last breath.  I regret that I’ve caused you so much pain.  You should not have suffered.  Please ... forgive me.”

“I have already said it, there is nothing to forgive.  I am not blind to your feelings, Sidney.  You too have suffered much.”

Sidney leans forward, tenderly kissing her forehead.  “The fear Charlotte – I was desperate when I left you at Trafalgar House to travel to London.  I could not admit to you then, but I was afraid of losing you, even before I left Sanditon.”

“Oh.”  Her face becomes unexpectedly sombre, as if forced to recall something grim.  This is the very thing that she has been troubled by, during his absence in London these past few days.  Although she has decided just this morning that she will leave it to fade into the past, she now feels she must speak of her regret for believing wrongly of his intentions on leaving Sanditon.

“I had no idea how to find eighty thousand pounds,” he continues, unaware of her unease, “and it would take my best powers of persuasion to convince the wealthiest of the ton,” he explains.

“Sidney, about that,” she says, “I must beg your forgiveness.”

“Whatever for?” he asks in bewilderment.

“I believed you would succeed, but you did not tell me of your intentions or plans,” she replies sadly.

He is taken aback, at the hurt in her tone.  “I had nothing planned, Charlotte.  I was completely at a loss.”

“Upon your return with the news of your engagement, I believed that you had planned it before you left Sanditon, you see.  I was hurt that you had not warned me, as I would have tried to accept and to understand –”

 “Charlotte, no!”  Sidney interrupts, grasping her hands tightly, “I had no such plan!  I was afraid, yes, but only that our family predicament would preclude my right to propose marriage.  Your family would be damaged by the scandal of Tom’s recklessness, what he had done to Sanditon, the investors, the workers ... I feared that if I could not prevent his fall to debtor’s prison I would forfeit the right to your hand.  I could not bring you and the Heywoods down with the Parkers.  That is all.”

“I know that now, with what you told Tom, and I am truly grateful.  I only wish I had trusted that you still wanted to marry me, and that you were not considering marriage to Mrs Campion as the solution, before you left Sanditon.”

“No! Oh Charlotte, no!  I didn’t give marriage with her a single thought!  Please believe me!  You know I only approached her as a last resort, knowing that without her help I had already lost you!  I sought only her financial assistance.  She ambushed me!  She played me for a fool!  I owe you an explanation of that, but today I don’t wish to even think of it.  I was sick with it all.  I almost turned back to cancel it.”

“I do believe you.  That is why I must now apologise.  I know it now, and I love you for it, and I realise this woman has made everything so difficult for you.”

When I had to tell you what I’d agreed to,” Sidney’s eyes are sorrowful as his voice drops to almost a whisper, “that ... that was the point at which ... oh Charlotte ... I died inside.  When you hurried away ... I heard you crying in your room.  I went to your door, but I had no idea how to comfort you ... I had nothing left to offer you but my own tears.” 

Sidney’s face contorts in pain and he brings a hand up to his furrowed brow.  “Until I severed the tie with her yesterday I’ve been living in some hell where nothing mattered except finding a way back to you, even if it meant only ever loving you from afar.  I had determined I would still watch out for you Charlotte, to see you always safe, and hopefully happy, even though it could not be with me.”

Charlotte grips back firmly on the hand still holding hers.  Overwhelmed by his words she gulps back a sob as she begs, “Oh Sidney, please forgive me.  I did not doubt your sincerity.  I was simply hurt, upon your return, that you had not shared your thoughts with me.  I truly thought you must have planned the engagement to her as there appeared to be no other way ...”

“No my love, all I wanted was to be here with you, discussing our future,” he replies, gently touching her cheek, “but I’ve hurt you so.  Tell me what I must do ...”

“Just love me Sidney.  That is all I need.”

He looks distraught, as he replies in a whisper, “I’ve done you such a terrible wrong.  I don’t deserve you.  I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you.”

“Just be your best self, as you are now.  That is all I wish for.”

“Your coming to Sanditon was the most fortunate thing that ever happened for me, Charlotte.  I wish I’d not taken so long to realise.  I could have saved both of us much sadness and anxiety,” Sidney says regretfully, “I wish I’d never met that woman again.”

“No,” she says firmly, “I believe you were meant to reacquaint with her.  You needed to know if it was truly in the past and you had recovered from the heartache.”

Sidney gazes silently at her, and again he cannot imagine a life without this wonderful woman by his side.

“Thank you Charlotte, for your wisdom ... and for your understanding.”

Sidney takes her in his arms, wrapping her gently and she leans her head against his chest.  He kisses the top of her head, rests his cheek against her hair for a moment, and then looks out to sea.  Speaking as if to himself he murmurs softly, “I suppose youthful infatuation is a form of love.  That was what I felt all those years ago, but I mistakenly believed it was more.  When I lost that, I almost destroyed myself.  I believed I’d never find it again, as I didn’t deserve it.  Perhaps it was merely somewhat like one of these waves, Charlotte, rushing in upon me but then drawn away, with my younger, innocent self powerless to hold it fast.”  He pulls back a little, looking again into Charlotte’s eyes, “It was through coming to know you that I discovered what true, enduring love really is. You’ve made your home in my heart.  I love you.  And, somehow, I find my love returned, by the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes on.”

Charlotte breathes in deeply, a shudder running through her as she replies shyly, “Oh, I don’t know about that, but it is a most wonderful sentiment.  I can believe I am beautiful when I am with you.  You make me so.”

He pulls her close again as he rests his forehead against hers.  “I don’t know what I have done to deserve such beauty, such love, or such happiness in my life.  I am helplessly in your power, and I couldn’t wish it otherwise.”

He moves his head back a little to look at her.  She pushes up on her toes and kisses him full on the lips.  His eyes grow wide with surprise at her forwardness, and he immediately slides his hands round her waist, as he happily returns the kiss.  They stand together, holding close, silent for a few minutes.

Sidney, serious again, asks, “How did you manage to forgive?”

“Forgive? Whom?”

“All of us ... Georgiana, Tom, even Mary ... but most of all me, for all my dim-witted, hurtful mistakes?”

“What would I gain by harbouring resentment against those I am fond of?”

“This is one of the reasons I felt compelled to seek you out this morning.  Had I believed you held resentment towards me, I would not have come.  I could only hope you’d think me worthy, and agree to my proposal.”

“So all this is why you came back so late last night?”

“Yes.  I was hoping you’d be awake, but Hodges told me you’d retired early.”

“Oh Sidney!  I was awake!  I heard your footsteps, and the door!  I looked out but you had already gone into your room.”

“So I should have knocked!  I almost did, but I was reluctant to disturb you when you’ve been working such long days!  I could have spoken with you then, instead of losing sleep all night!” he exclaims.

“It seems we both lost sleep!  I was so aware of you in the next room!”

“As I was of you!  It took all my strength to not disturb you!”  He chuckles, and she joins in, knowing his cheeky meaning.

“Impertinence, sir!” she declares, as they continue to laugh. “But I was afraid to go to you to ask why you had returned so late.  I believed you would be announcing today that you had set a wedding date.  It made me unbearably sad.”

“Ah ... so you were sad and I was beside myself with excitement! Had I known you were awake!”

“No matter, it was worth waiting for!"  She laughs a little as she adds, “The cove!  A fitting place for your proposal, do you not agree?”

“A more fitting place I cannot imagine!” he responds with a mischievous smirk.

“And this view, it is all so lovely here!” she adds, looking around, waving an arm to take in the sea and the sand.

“Yes.  It is.  So lovely.”  He smiles adoringly at her, deliberately ignoring their surroundings, and then pretends to suddenly realise her meaning, “Oh!  You’re speaking of the beach!”

“Yes!”  She pushes playfully at his chest. 

He chuckles.  “The beach is lovely too,” he says teasingly.  Charlotte giggles.

They begin to walk, and Sidney suggests he visit Willingden as soon as possible to speak with her father.

“I did consider calling on your family on the way from London last night, but I was afraid to meet with your father without preparation.  I was also against nightfall and I couldn’t bear to wait a moment longer than necessary to see you, so I simply rode straight here.  Do you think it best we discuss what I might say to him?  I wasn’t aware how much he might already know of me, and our history.  I didn’t wish to shock or turn him against me ...”

“Very wise, Mr. Parker!”

“Not so wise yet, Miss Heywood, but I shall improve with each passing day, with you to guide me.”

“Oh!  You do not wish to learn from me sir!  I might just lead you astray.  I have it on good authority that I am a bad influence ...”

“Ah Miss Heywood, I believe the man who said that has had many reasons to revise that opinion.  Then again, if he is now mistaken, and you are still a bad influence, perhaps I might find this entirely to my liking!”

Laughing together they resume the walk to visit Georgiana, both feeling happiness beyond measure.

Chapter Text

Sidney is delighted Charlotte wants to accompany him to advise her family of their engagement.  Her presence calms him.  He fears Mr Heywood might react badly to the news that they intend to marry when he has barely broken a former engagement.  Charlotte, however, insists her father will see a good man who loves her, and that will be what matters most.  Sidney is even considering leaving out the details of his engagement to Eliza Campion; perhaps there is no reason to mention it at all.  His only concern is that the family might hear of it from another source, which would make him appear less than trustworthy for keeping this secret.

The conversation in the carriage is light and good-humoured.  Georgiana, in her own happy state is full of mischief and clever wit.  This is a side to her that Sidney has not seen since she was a child, and he is elated that she is looking forward to meeting her new ‘family’, the Heywoods, and has finally found her way into his heart as a sister.  He could not wish for more.

Sidney tells them of Henry’s demand that he make a solemn promise he will not leave Charlotte in Willingden.  They all laugh about the little boy’s obvious adoration of Charlotte, which Sidney knows is richly deserved.

Upon their surprise arrival at the Heywood home, Sidney and Georgiana are introduced, and warmly welcomed by Mr and Mrs Heywood, who immediately invite them to stay for a meal.  Sidney is a little overwhelmed, with children coming from every direction, all chatting excitedly at Charlotte, who manages to give time to each of them.  In a quiet aside to her he murmurs, “I feel more foolish than ever to have judged you so wrongly. What was it I said?  ‘Sitting in your father’s house’ ...”

“Hmm ... ‘with your piano and your embroidery, waiting for someone to come along and take you off your parents’ hands.’ That is how I remember it,” she says looking cheekily up into his serious face.

“Oh-h,” he groans, “I cringe at the memory!  Forgive me?”

Charlotte simply laughs, “I already have, months ago!”

“I see how valuable you are to this family,” he says sincerely, “I spoke out of turn. If it were possible, I would take it all back.”

“Thank you,” she whispers, “but you are too harsh on yourself!”

He leans in, also whispering, “You are too generous Miss Heywood. I am blessed.”

Mr Heywood notices their intimate looks, their smiles and quiet conversation.  He sees a certain ease about how they are with each other, and ponders the reason for this unexpected visit.  By way of clarification of their sudden appearance Charlotte speaks of Mary’s illness, explaining they do not yet know when Mary might be able to do without her help, but as she is improving and now on her feet for at least part of the day, the Parkers have insisted Charlotte take a day at home.  She adds that as Sidney and Georgiana have wanted to meet the Heywood family they have taken the opportunity to accompany her.  Aware of a very definite lift in Charlotte’s demeanour from only a week ago, Mr Heywood smiles knowingly, keeping his thoughts to himself.

Georgiana is delighted with the welcome she receives, and is surprised nobody sees anything odd about her appearance. She quickly finds rapport with Alison, and as she takes a seat a small boy comes to her, holding up a children’s story book, giving her a hopeful smile.  She looks around, but all are otherwise occupied and she finds it refreshing to not be the subject of others’ curiosity.  She happily takes the book and invites the child to sit with her.  Meanwhile, Sidney quickly feels very much at home with the children, playing on the floor with small people climbing over him, Charlotte’s parents watching, liking what they see.

Seated next to each other at lunch, Sidney and Charlotte are careful to avoid touching, and both make sure to join in conversation with others.  During the lively discussion Sidney realises how important this couple considers education for all their children, whether sons or daughters.  He is drawn into conversation easily, answering questions about the goings on in Sanditon.  He is in no doubt that Charlotte has spoken fondly of her time there, and although the fire is mentioned, he is grateful for their understanding as they do not dwell on it.

As lunch draws to a close and people start moving from the table, Sidney approaches Mr Heywood with a request.

“If you have the time, sir, I should appreciate the opportunity to take a look round some of your estate.”

Charlotte catches Sidney’s eye, her hesitant smile a hopeful signal between them.  It does not escape Mr Heywood’s notice.  He appears amused as he responds, “My pleasure.”

There is definitely a little anxiety in the air as Sidney follows Mr Heywood out the door, glancing back at Charlotte as they go.

Walking through the fields and along the edge of a watercourse, Mr Heywood speaks of the work involved with growing their crops and caring for the animals. Sidney shows a strong interest, his intelligent questions making for a comfortable conversation.  Enjoying their discussion Mr Heywood finds him likeable, clever, and witty.  Feeling certain Sidney is here to speak of a future with Charlotte, he decides to test this young man’s knowledge and understanding of his daughter.  Aware that Sidney is nervous, he chooses to inject a little humour.

“Charlotte has considerable skill you know, with a gun.  We’ve missed her when it comes to providing for the evening meal.”

This statement takes Sidney by surprise.  He wonders why, of all Charlotte’s abilities, Mr Heywood chooses to speak of her talent with a gun.  He feels the tingle of an embarrassing flush under his skin as he replies, “Really?” He smiles at the mental image of Charlotte stalking her prey.

“Yes.  Does that surprise you?” Mr Heywood asks, looking up at his tall companion.

After a slight pause, Sidney responds honestly, “It would have a few months ago.  But no, I imagine her being capable of the perfect shot.  In fact, Mary has mentioned it to me.  I see your daughter as accomplished and well-informed, and she has a determination I have not witnessed in any other young lady.”

Mr Heywood squints up at him, looking for any sign of mockery but sees that Sidney is speaking frankly.

“Is that your polite way of describing her as stubborn?” he asks with a quirky smile.

“Oh!  No, I would not presume –” Sidney begins hastily.  He looks across fearing he has offended, but noticing the smirk on Mr Heywood’s face, realises the man is amused.  “Ah,” he says with relief, and both men chuckle as they walk on.

“So,” Mr Heywood says, “Charlotte was distressed to receive the news of your sister-in-law’s illness.  There was no question she should go immediately to help.  I’m glad Mrs Parker is recovering.  They’re obviously very fond of each other.”

“Yes,” Sidney replies, “I’ve noticed they’re like sisters.  Mary took a liking to Miss Heywood immediately, here with the accident.  As to this illness, I’m certain her recovery was hastened when your daughter returned to help care for her, and the family.  The children adore her, by the way.”

Mr Heywood appears pleased, as Sidney chuckles at a memory, and explains, “They think she should live the rest of her days with them at Trafalgar House.  We’ve had difficulty convincing young Henry that she has a family in Willingden.  He announced last night in fact, that if she won’t live at his house then he must come to live here with you.”

“Children!” chuckles Mr Heywood, “Charlotte always speaks very warmly of all the Parker family.  She describes her visit to Sanditon as the greatest adventure of her life.  Mind you, that it is the only adventure of her life – so far at least!”

Sidney, feeling a little uncomfortable, gives a short laugh.  Thinking of London but still undecided as to whether he should even mention it today he talks on, “I’m sure she’d enjoy any adventure she undertakes, but it might not measure up to Sanditon!  She told me once that she’d fallen in love with the place. She’s been invaluable to others with her knowledge, and ability to solve difficult problems, and yet she remains humble and unaffected.  She accepts people may not always agree but they’re entitled to independent opinions.  They adore her for her unassuming charm.”

“I am glad to hear she made friends there so easily,” the older man says with a hint of pride in his tone, “I did worry about her leaving home for the first time.”

“She was a godsend to Tom.  He was deeply troubled by the fear of bankruptcy with nobody interested in his resort venture, and it was she who came to his rescue.  Not only did she clean up his disastrously untidy office, but she saved him from imminent failure, with an event – a regatta – to showcase Sanditon.  It was her idea, and she organised it exceptionally well.  It was a resounding success.  As a result all the homes were booked for the season.  But then of course, the fire ...”

“Charlotte said it was devastating.”

“It was,” Sidney replies, “and she felt it as keenly as our family.   She worked very hard that night, organising the men into an efficient fighting line.  I was filled with admiration ... and sadness, as I saw her beautiful ball gown ruined.  But she continued on until dawn, when we were all exhausted.”

“She has not told us she assisted!” Mr Heywood exclaims.

It is Sidney’s turn to be surprised.  “No?” he asks. “Well, of course, that’s her humility I suppose.  She doesn’t seek recognition or accolade. It’s about compassion. She’s given wonderful support to my ward Georgiana, and to another friend Lady Babington who has been through much personal conflict.”

"Ah yes,she was her attendant at the wedding," Mr Heywood replies, nodding in agreement.

“Yes, that's right.  And then there is the great lady of the town, Lady Denham of Sanditon House.  She’s feared by most,” Sidney says, “but your daughter simply didn’t allow her to intimidate her.  Lady D found her refreshing and amusing.  She quickly became very fond of her and delighted in inviting her to tea.”

Mr Heywood chuckles, and decides to push this young man a little further.

“Am I correct in thinking Mr Parker, that you have also become very fond of my daughter?”

“Uh,” Sidney gasps, unsure now, as he tries to marshal his thoughts.  “Is it so obvious then sir?”

“Somewhat,” the older man says with a hint of a smile, “I noticed your care helping her from the carriage, and your whispered conversation as we moved to the house.  Then there were the furtive glances during our meal.”

“Ah,” Sidney replies awkwardly.

“I wonder if there may be a reason you have come here today, other than simply to ensure my daughter had safe company in the carriage?”

Now nervous, Sidney replies, “You are correct sir.”

“I see,” Mr Heywood says scratching thoughtfully at his beard, “I have to say I am surprised.  You see, in all her tales of Sanditon, Charlotte has barely spoken of you.  Oh, we were aware you existed, but she mentioned you in passing as Tom’s brother with business in London, not as part of Sanditon.”

“Ah, yes, my visits to Sanditon were few, until shortly before the fire.  I’m spending more time in Sanditon than London now, but my business is centred in the city.  I was privileged to spend time with your daughter in Sanditon each time I visited, as I went regularly to Tom’s house for both social and business reasons.”

Watching Sidney as he speaks of his acquaintance with Charlotte, Mr Heywood is eager to hear more.

“To be honest, I’m ashamed to admit that when we first met, I made foolish assumptions about your daughter," Sidney says apologetically, "I was sceptical of young women in general, used to them being concerned only with fashion and gossip, but your daughter not only had thought-provoking opinions, she was not afraid to voice them.  I invited her thoughts on something and instead of appreciating her honesty I spoke to her very harshly.  She tried to apologise, when I was the one at fault.  I soon realised she was certainly not the frivolous person I’d assumed her to be.”

Mr Heywood refrains from speaking, as Sidney takes another deep breath and decides that no matter what the reaction will be, he needs to tell this man of how Charlotte has changed him, and the place she has taken in his heart.

“May I tell you, sir?  It’s a long story, but it will explain some of the reasons I have such admiration and affection for your daughter.”

“Please, do.”

They recommence walking side by side.

Chapter Text

Having made Mr Heywood aware of his less than perfect beginning in his acquaintance with Charlotte, Sidney decides it is best to now speak of the accident in which she took charge of the care for Old Mr Stringer.  This is for him a most treasured memory.  This was the point at which he had first realised they could enjoy each other’s company and leave disagreements in the past.  As Charlotte had said, that day was a turning point for them. 

“Miss Heywood had been in Sanditon less than a fortnight,” he says, “when she was making one of her visits to the worksite.  It was something she enjoyed, as quite obviously she had a strong interest in Tom’s project.  On that day, she witnessed an elderly worker falling from scaffolding, badly breaking his leg.  She immediately took control.  Without her knowledge and competence he may have bled to death.  Seeing how she cared for him and assisted the doctor when he arrived, I was truly amazed by her skill, and her compassion for the man in his pain and distress.  That was a defining moment, in my regard for her.”

Sidney glances across to Mr Heywood, who is looking attentively at him.

“Until that time we were dismissive of each other.  She saw arrogance in me, and rightly so.  I’d carried a personal wretchedness around with me for many years and was inclined to take my resentment out on others.  After that incident we began to think well of each other, but it wasn’t long before this new, delicate peace was shattered.  Some things happened with Georgiana that changed everything, and could have had disastrous consequences.”

“Oh?’”

“Georgiana is my ward, an heiress with a very large fortune.  She was in love with a young man from London.  I had discovered he was a gambler, and I didn’t trust him to want her for other than her fortune.  I forbade her seeing him and arranged for her to live in Sanditon for safety, amongst my family and friends.  She was bitter towards me.  I’d not sought to be her guardian and had no idea how to go about it.  I detested the obligation.  I failed her badly.”

“It would be a difficult undertaking for someone of your age, a single man at that,” Mr Heywood replies with sympathy.

“I appreciate your understanding, sir.  The truth is, I sought to ease my burden of guardianship, and with my new accord with Charlotte, I asked her to keep an eye on Georgiana.  I left Sanditon feeling certain that Georgiana would be well supervised.”

“I suspect all did not happen as you wished?” Mr Heywood asks.

“No, it did not.  There was an incident in Sanditon.  Georgiana had secretly arranged a meeting with this young man, and Miss Heywood was unknowingly drawn into this.  When I returned that very day and discovered them all together, I was furious.  I vented my anger on Miss Heywood, assuming she was party to this deception.  She had in fact endured a trying day, honouring my request, shadowing them to keep Georgiana’s reputation intact.  She’d made her displeasure clear, but they didn’t care.  Georgiana had accused her of being my spy.  They’d told her I was prejudiced against him for the colour of his skin, and that I’d made my fortune from slavery in the sugar trade.  Charlotte doubted that, insisting I must have had Georgiana’s best interests at heart but they told her she did not really know me.”

“I trust she refused to be intimidated?” Mr Heywood asks hopefully.

“Hmm ... I don’t quite know, but after watching them together she accepted that he loved Georgiana without care for her wealth.  I was sceptical of that assessment and we quarrelled bitterly.  I held her responsible for what had occurred.  In fact, she was blameless.”

Sidney pauses.  Mr. Heywood is looking intently at him.  He feels a rush of anxiety, but knows he must continue.  He drops his head, embarrassed but determined to admit his mistakes.

“I told her I should’ve known she could not be trusted,” he continues, “and how she’s managed to forgive me for that I don’t know, but she was fierce in that argument.  She accused me of prejudice and involvement in slavery with my business in Antigua.  We were both hurt by things we said in anger.  All the goodwill we’d built up was gone.  I felt betrayed.  I wanted to go back, to start again, but my pride was wounded.  I left for London, in very despondent mood.”

Mr. Heywood silently looks ahead as they continue to walk.

“This was only the beginning of our woes,” Sidney says sadly.

Charlotte’s father looks up, asking in disbelief, “There was more trouble?”

“Yes.  I returned a week later to play in the annual Sanditon cricket match, intending to avoid Miss Heywood, and leave at the first opportunity.  By sorry chance our team was suddenly a man down so we would have to forfeit the match.  Miss Heywood came forward, offering to play, and partnered with me at the crease.  She scored the winning run.  The crowd was delighted.  All my anger was gone.  I felt only admiration for her in that winning moment.”

Mr Heywood notices Sidney taking a deep breath.

“But?”

Sidney gives a short huff, as he replies, “Yes, there is a ‘but’.  My ward’s governess came to me in great distress.   Georgiana had disappeared.  I was horrified when Miss Heywood admitted she’d posted letters from Georgiana to the young man.  A rendezvous had been arranged and Georgiana had disappeared to meet him while we were occupied with the cricket.”

“Oh!”

“Georgiana's letters had been intercepted.  She was not met by the young man, but abducted, taken to London and bartered into a loveless marriage in return for another man clearing his sizeable gambling debt.  Charlotte had forgotten the planned rendezvous in the excitement of the cricket, and Georgiana had managed to slink away.  Again, I was incensed.  Again I was a brute towards Miss Heywood.  I left for London in furious temper, worried out of my wits.”

“How distressing!”

“It was.”

Sidney now pauses, afraid of Mr Heywood’s reaction but determined to be the one to inform him of his coming upon Charlotte in London.  He turns to look at Mr Heywood directly, breathes deeply, and presses on.

“I arrived in London to seek out the address for the young man’s post.  Imagine my surprise when I met your daughter outside the building.”

“What?” Mr Heywood exclaims, stopping to stare at Sidney.

“She’d caught the Sanditon Flyer to London.  I was astonished.   Mary had denied her the family carriage, so she’d crept away, leaving a note.  I was much relieved it was I who found her, but irritated that I was then responsible for her safety as well.  I couldn’t help, however, admiring such courage.  We endured a night of anxiety, scouring London, following clues.  It was into the next day when we finally caught up with the carriage bound for Scotland, for Georgiana's forced marriage to a man she’d only just met.”

“You travelled round London at night?” Mr Heywood asks, shock evident in his face.

“Yes ... and if Charlotte hadn’t been with me, sir, I’d never have succeeded in my quest.”

“Wait!  You were alone in a carriage?”

“We were, for much of the time.  I was concerned for her safety and did attempt to take her to our London residence, where Tom was at that time.  She refused, insisting she must find Georgiana.  She blamed herself for the situation.  She was stubborn, and I was irritated, but we did work well together.  Her intelligence solving clues ensured we found Georgiana, and brought her back unharmed.  I was relieved when both ladies were safely under our roof at Bedford Place.”

Sidney finds Mr. Heywood’s silence unnerving but knows he must continue.  If asked, he will declare that Charlotte’s safety was his first priority in all their travel that night, but the older man is not seeking such an assurance.  Sidney decides that now is the time to express how important Charlotte has been to him in finding happiness after years of solitude.

“Something else, of great importance to me, happened during that journey,” he says.  “Miss Heywood and I talked at length about our misconceptions, when forming opinions of each other.  I faced several truths about myself, truths not easy to accept.  I discovered the value of her inherent kindness and generosity of spirit.  I realised that in the months I’d known her I’d severely underestimated her.  She was apologetic for her assumptions, but my dismissive behaviour had been far worse.  From this new understanding our friendship quickly developed, and within days I realised I was very much in love with her.  To be honest, I must admit, I had probably been in love with her for some time.”

Although appearing completely taken aback, Mr Heywood gives a small nod, and they walk on.

“There is more to our story,” Sidney says, now with some trepidation, “and I’m afraid you will not like it, but I must tell you.  I preface this by saying that Charlotte has been magnificent throughout this trying time ...”

Sidney halts in his account, unsure of how to word this next part of the story, but certain that he cannot risk that Charlotte’s father should hear of it through another source.  Mr Heywood, ever more curious, gently encourages him.

“Go on, son.”

Sidney does not miss the term Mr Heywood has used to address him, and it gives him strength to continue, “It’s all to do with a challenging situation involving Tom’s financial ineptitude that thankfully we’ve managed to overcome.”

“A result of the fire?”

“Yes.  You’ve met Tom.  I don’t relish criticising my own brother, but I’m sure you’ll appreciate I’ve at times found him difficult to work with.  I’ve never shared his enthusiasm for developing Sanditon, wishing only to be a minor investor, but he’s sought far more than that, drawing me into his schemes.  He has insisted I’ve a brother’s obligation to contribute both time and money, despite my own business commitments.”

“I appreciate that could well be.”

“The fact is Tom’s come close to ruining many lives, through recklessness,” Sidney says, feeling shame for his brother’s failures.  “He neglected to insure the building work, and in the aftermath of the fire, he admitted he had incurred debts of £80,000.”

“What?” Mr Heywood asks in a horrified voice, stopping and turning to look intensely at Sidney.

“Yes.  Lady Denham, the majority investor, demanded immediate repayment, or Tom would go to debtor’s prison.  Charlotte managed to convince her to give us a week to find the funds.  Aware Tom would achieve nothing I went straight to London, knowing very well it was an impossible task.  I approached banks, business associates and even Mrs Campion, the woman I’d been engaged to years before and now a wealthy widow, all to no avail.  I would return to Sanditon to Tom’s incarceration and Mary’s immediate destitution, as their assets would be seized.”

“This is astonishing!” Mr Heywood exclaims.

“Oh there’s more sir, and this troubles me most.  You see, I’d fallen in love, with your daughter.  After the regatta, I made some of my feelings known to her, and intended to propose marriage at the midsummer ball.  In fact, we were interrupted during that very conversation, and the fire prevented its conclusion.  So, while I was in London all I could think about was getting back to her, to propose properly, and Charlotte was aware of my intention.  I struggled to concentrate on finding a solution for Tom.  I was missing Miss Heywood terribly, but in order to be able to propose marriage I first had to solve Tom’s debt.”

“You felt obliged to remain in London, even though you could not help your brother?” the older man asks.     

“I had to find a way.  If I could not, then I had lost Charlotte.  I could not bring this scandal upon her, and you ... the Heywood family.  I received an unexpected invitation to visit Mrs Campion to discuss a business transaction.  I was hopeful this would be Tom’s redemption.  But no.  You see, she had attended the regatta, and suggested that fate had given us a second chance.  I’d rejected her suggestion.  I’d told her I loved another.  So, this woman saw a way to entrap me.  She would cover the complete debt, but only if we married.  I also came to realise later that she had enjoyed achieving spiteful revenge over Miss Heywood who, as she had realised, was the one who held my affection.”

“This is preposterous!  You do not need to elaborate further.  I know what you would say next!”  Mr Heywood’s face has flushed with anger, and his eyes are flashing his displeasure.

“Sir,” Sidney says hastily, short of breath in his apprehension, “my reaction to her proposal was disgust, and I left her house with no intention of agreeing to it.  I went away convinced I must find another solution.  I tried desperately to think of any possible investors that I had not already sought assistance from, but deep within I knew that I had exhausted all avenues.  After hours of walking round London, bleak with the misery of it I went back.”

“You gave in to her demands?” Mr Heywood asks sharply.

“Not initially,” Sidney replies, "my intention was to persuade her to invest as a friend, nothing more.”  His voice becomes husky as he tries to explain, “But I had no leverage.  She held all the cards.  I saw Mary and the children being turned out ... I thought of Charlotte and knew I would break her heart as well as my own ... but I also knew that ... with her love for Mary and the children ... somehow ... she would understand.”  Sidney comes to a sudden halt and drops his head, raising his hands to cover his face.

“So, how is it that you are here, with my daughter?  Why are you here speaking of your feelings for her when you are betrothed to another?”  Mr Heywood’s voice is trembling, in his anger and confusion.

“Please, forgive me,” Sidney says quickly, dropping his hands and looking directly at the older man, “I am explaining this very badly.  The truth is we have been rescued in this by loyal friends and my other siblings.  Individually they tried to assist, with suggestions that were simply not feasible.  My ward insisted I use her money.  Tempting as it was I had to refuse.  I’m her guardian.  It would be unscrupulous.  In the end, however, friends gathered together without my knowledge, or Charlotte’s, to find a solution.  In fact, it’s their love for Charlotte that brought them together to do this.  Lady Susan Worcester was determined that nothing would prevent our happiness.” 

Sidney clears his throat and breathes deeply, before continuing in a stronger voice, “It’s all in place now, and I’ve broken with Mrs Campion.  I can never dismiss this from my history, sir, but in finding an end to this debacle, and all this suffering I have the support of the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.  Your daughter.  Charlotte.  I know she has suffered as I have.  I hated myself for betraying her but she will not have it.  She bears no resentment.  She loves Mary and the children as if they’re her own family.  She is the most remarkable woman I know.”

Mr Heywood is staring at Sidney now without speaking, his face inscrutable, and Sidney does not know how to interpret his silence.  He feels a burning need to explain his feelings in the hope that he can alleviate Mr Heywood’s anger and re-establish at least some of the ease of their earlier conversation.

“I must tell you this, sir,” Sidney says, meeting his gaze unswervingly, “I am a changed man.  I feel contentment and happiness I’ve never known before.  I come alive in Charlotte’s company.  When my former engagement was broken I was very young.  Under the pain of rejection I didn’t believe that any woman should give me a second glance.  I convinced myself it was unimportant, that I was not suited to marriage.  For many years, something was missing in my life but I didn’t care to change that.  Charlotte has helped me to heal.  My life is incomplete without her.  I want to care for her for the rest of our days.  I love her.  And somehow – I know not how – she has fallen in love with me.”

Mr Heywood turns to move forward again, and Sidney walks beside him without trying to explain further. There is nothing more he can say.  He can only hope that this man will believe his devotion to Charlotte is absolute. They soon come to a stop at one of the fences.  All is quiet.  Sidney waits, but his companion does not utter a sound.  Unable to move, he is in the grip of an all too familiar fear.  Why is Mr Heywood not speaking to him?  Is he thinking Charlotte deserves better?  Will he insist his daughter should refuse to marry a man with such a history?  If so, will Charlotte comply with his wishes?

Sidney closes his eyes, reaching his hand to his chest, rubbing at that same unwelcome pain he remembers from the truly terrible morning at Trafalgar House, when he had struggled to accept he must live without hope of happiness.  Will fate yet again deal him the cruellest of blows?  Has he come through all this heartbreak, only to lose the love of his life after all? 

Whatever opinion this man might now have of him, Sidney knows that his happiness is now in Charlotte’s hands.  He will do whatever it takes over time to have Mr Heywood accept that he will never hurt Charlotte again, but will love and protect her as she deserves.  Here and now, however, this will be Charlotte’s decision.  Placing his hand over the treasure in his waistcoat pocket, he breathes deeply, and silently places his trust in her.

Chapter Text

Awkward with the silence, Sidney manages to find his voice and tries to encourage comment from Mr. Heywood, stating simply, “So there it is, our long story.  Thank you, sir, for listening.”

Mr Heywood remains silent.  Sidney is becoming very worried now, that Charlotte will encounter much resistance from her father in any attempt to have him accepted into the family.  Having determined he should give an honest account – omitting of course the incident at the cove and the cliff-top kiss, for they should remain private matters, of no concern to anyone other than himself and Charlotte – he now fears he has said too much.  Something has compelled him to make these admissions; be it honesty, integrity, or simply the desire to do what he believes Charlotte would wish, for her father to see a good man who loves her.  He is troubled, however, by the possibility that he has misjudged this man’s affable manner during this morning’s introductions.  It is one thing to welcome a previously unknown visitor with an invitation to share a meal, but quite another to have to consider his daughter’s future happiness with that same visitor.

Should he have omitted the London fiasco?  But if Mr Heywood learned of it from someone else, how could he then trust Sidney to be honourable, and worthy of his daughter? Should he have told him of the engagement to save Tom, or was that decision better left for Charlotte?  Perhaps that part of the story is simply unacceptable – Mr Heywood did appear very angry during his relating of it.  While concerned that it might be too confronting for this man to contend with just now, Sidney knows in his heart that it has been the right thing to do.  He hazards a look in Mr Heywood’s direction.  The gentleman is staring up at him, as if reading his thoughts, and aware of his discomfort.

Finally, the older man speaks, surprising Sidney with his calm tone, and apparent lack of irritation after all, as if he has taken the time to gather his senses.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says quietly, “I am grateful you took the care to accompany Charlotte in London, treating her with such kindness, however irksome you found it.  You saw her need for protection and you did not fail her.  I was fearful for her in Sanditon but I could not have imagined something like this.  Charlotte has not mentioned it.  I am appalled at her irresponsible behaviour!”

“I believe, sir,” Sidney replies without hesitation, “that her lack of concern for her own safety was the result of her fear for Georgiana.  I can only think very highly of her for that, and in fact, it was the saving grace. If not for her determination, Georgiana would have been condemned to a life of misery.”

“You defend her so swiftly!” Mr Heywood says with undisguised amusement.  “I understand.  I suppose I must forgive her recklessness.  I would never wish harm upon that other young lady.  Thank you for what you have done.  I am grateful that she has been so well protected.  As to the difficulties you have been subjected to, I felt Charlotte was holding something from us, she seemed so different, much quieter and keeping to herself.  I did broach the subject but she gave me no reason for concern, so I believed it best to allow her to talk when she should feel ready, if indeed I was not imagining a situation.”

“She’s been carrying a great sadness sir,” Sidney replies, careful to find words that will not irritate or offend, “entirely my fault, because of my actions following the fire, all to save Tom and his family.  I had so wanted to propose marriage but with my family facing ruin I could no longer even hope for that, knowing it would drag your family into the scandal.  As for the engagement to Mrs Campion, it became more difficult to accept as the days wore miserably on.  I came to realise that in spite of Tom’s situation, I could not go through with it.  I could not have made her happy, although Charlotte – Miss Heywood insisted that I try.”

“What is that?  I don’t understand ...”

“We spoke, Charlotte and I, and I tried to tell her of my feelings and wish her well, but she rebuked me and reminded me of what I had agreed to.  Even in our sadness she found words to encourage me in that regard.  I did try, at her request, but it was hopeless.  There is more I could tell you but now is not the time.  Through a twist of fate I discovered that what I had agreed to with Mrs Campion was not legally enforceable.  This meant it was far more simple than I had expected to put an end to this sham.  All was eventually resolved and Charlotte says there is nothing to forgive, but I was much aggrieved that what I’d done under pain of familial obligation had caused her such sorrow.  I’m grateful she has so many loyal friends who would do anything for her happiness."

Mr Heywood smiles as he notices, not for the first time, Sidney’s informal use of his daughter’s first name.  He replies, “I am grateful for that.  If she has fallen in love with you then I am grateful for that also.  I see that you would protect her in any situation.”

“With my life, sir,” Sidney replies sincerely, surprised at what he is hearing.

“Yes.  I believe you would.  Indeed you have, already, when you found her traipsing around London.”

There is another pause, before a much relieved Sidney says, “I was afraid you were too angry with me to speak your thoughts ...”

“My anger is not with you!  It is with this treacherous widow!” Mr Heywood declares sternly.  “I hope to never meet with any of her like!  Such selfishness is not our way here, and I believe you are of the same mind.  She has caused our Charlotte this pain, not you, and she has been prepared to have you live without love, to achieve her selfish ends!  Know this, I will never ask you to speak of this woman again.  I am glad that Charlotte has shown you the compassion you deserve, for your noble attempt to save your family.  I hope that your brother Tom will come to appreciate your sacrifice, and that of my daughter.  You are a good man, Mr Parker.”

Relief surges through Sidney, his knees weak and trembling.  He grips the fence rail hard with one hand, his head down and eyes closed as if unable to express his gratitude.  Mr Heywood stands by, simply waiting, knowing he needs time to collect his thoughts. 

Much reassured, and now gathering courage, Sidney looks back to Mr Heywood and speaks from the heart, “May I humbly ask then sir, if you would kindly bless our decision to marry?  I hope that you will believe me worthy?”

Mr Heywood smiles, and calmly replies, “I believe you to be honest and honourable Mr Parker.  I think there would not be a man more protective of our beloved Charlotte.  I can see you love her dearly and if those meal-time glances that I noticed are any indication, I’m sure she returns your feelings.  I also trust her judgement, although that may be a mistake on my part, considering her recent antics! ... but I believe you know and understand her well, and accept her for the spirited and warm hearted young woman that she is.  If she has agreed to your proposal, then you are destined for a marriage filled with love and affection.  She would not marry for less.  I gladly give my blessing, as I know Mrs Heywood will.”

Sidney briefly tilts his head skyward, closing his already moist eyes against the glare of the sun, grateful for this acceptance and vaguely aware of a chuckle from the man beside him.  He grins broadly, letting out a breath he had not realised he was holding, and turns to show his appreciation.

“Thank you sir,” he says quietly, “thank you.  And please, it’s Sidney.”

The two men shake hands, smiling warmly.

“Yes, Sidney, thank you, son.  Shall we go back to share the good news with the family then? Charlotte is probably becoming a little anxious by now?  She knows you were planning this discussion?”

“She does.”  Sidney cannot help smiling, impressed also with Mr Heywood’s use of the term ‘son’.  He feels not only relief, but the warmth of acceptance at last, acknowledged as family by his future father-in-law.

They move towards the house, settling in to comfortable conversation now, sharing an amusing story or two about Charlotte.  Mr Heywood adds with a chuckle that he is certain Sidney and Charlotte will lock horns on occasion but they will find ways to overcome any disagreements because of their deep respect for one another. 

  *  *  *

Back at the house, Georgiana has been much in demand, with the Heywood children all excitedly asking questions about her homeland.  She is happy to share memories of her childhood years in a land very different from theirs, describing the warmth and beauty of the place and her mostly carefree upbringing on her father’s plantation.  When asked about her parents she gives brief but honest answers and explains that Sidney, as her guardian, has undertaken the task of ensuring her safety and wellbeing.  While she is busy with the children, Mrs Heywood signals to Charlotte that they might walk together in the garden.  Charlotte happily agrees, knowing that it is time to confess her fascination for this fine gentleman who has accompanied her here today.

Taking a seat in a quiet place in her mother’s favourite part of the garden, the two women share a knowing smile.

“Alright, Mama, what is it you wish to know?” Charlotte asks.

Mrs. Heywood takes Charlotte’s hands, looking long into her eyes, before saying softly, “I think you must know, Charlotte, that your father and I have been much concerned about you since you came back from your summer in Sanditon.  Upon your return, we said nothing, hoping that you would speak of your troubles when you were ready.  You seemed to have lost your usual spirit, and it was with heavy heart that I watched you leave again so quickly when Mr Tom Parker sent that carriage last week.  We were most anxious for you.  We knew that you must attend Mary, but were worried that you would again be subject to some troublesome aspect of life there that you had not yet told us of.  Now, today, the old Charlotte has returned, with this charming man in her company, and it seems you are happy beyond all imagination.  Am I correct in assuming he is the reason for the change in your spirits?”

“Oh yes, Mama, I cannot tell you how happy I am!” Charlotte declares, “He makes my heart sing!”

“Oh dear, this is serious talk, Charlotte!” her mother exclaims smiling at her daughter’s choice of words to describe her feelings for this young man, “but how can this be?  You have barely mentioned Mr Tom Parker’s brother in all your talk of Sanditon.  I can only assume that you have been keeping this secret, but it does not make sense to me.  It is most confusing.”

“What do you mean, Mama?” Charlotte asks, herself confused.

“I should have thought that if you and this Mr Sidney were so enamoured, you would have returned to Sanditon with a spirited step, and spoken of him, singing his praises until we all tired of it, but you were the exact opposite.  What is this about, my dear girl?”

“Oh Mama, it is a long story, and it has not always been happy, but it has ended in the most marvellous way!  I will tell you more in time, but I am hoping that Sidney is even now impressing Papa as a prospective son-in-law!”

“Truly Charlotte?  Do you love this Sidney?”

“Oh yes, Mama, with all my heart!  And he loves me.  We have weathered some severe storms, but today is not the day to speak of them.  I simply wish to have your blessing, and Papa’s, on our plans to marry.”

“He has proposed?” her mother asks with a hint of excitement.

“He has, and I have accepted gladly.”

“Oh my dear Charlotte!  This is wonderful news!” her mother tearfully exclaims, as she takes her daughter into a warm embrace.

*  *  *

Back inside with the family Charlotte has retreated to a window to watch for the men, a little concerned that their walk is taking so long.  Finally, she catches sight of them approaching the house and rushes out to meet them, eager to hear what has transpired.  As she looks to him for some indication that his mission has been successful, Sidney gives her a secret wink, bringing a beaming smile to her face.

“I believe I must give you my blessing Charlotte,” her father says, “I have learned things today, however, that have left me surprised at your impulsiveness, and most grateful to this young man for ensuring your safety.”

“Oh Papa,” she says, happy with his approval of the proposal, but concerned that perhaps Sidney has disclosed more than she would like of their history, “what stories has this man been filling your head with?”

“Enough to fill one of those more romantic books you read my dear,” he says, smiling benevolently down at her.

Charlotte suddenly regrets not witnessing their conversation, especially as Sidney is chuckling along with her Papa.

“Just know this my darling girl,” her father says, serious now, taking her hand, “I believe you will have a most dedicated husband in this man.  Treat him well.  There are not many such as him in this world.”

Sidney is speechless with surprise, emotion welling in his heart, threatening tears. 

Charlotte looks to him with admiration as she replies to her father, “I know Papa.”  She then says to Sidney, “You have done well I think, Mr Parker!”

“His name is Sidney, my dear,” her father says, with a chuckle, “and please, do not tease.  He has been through enough of that for today.”  As he looks across to him with a wink, Sidney feels very much at home with this compassionate man, and looks forward eagerly to a future that includes this wonderful family.

“I have no doubt of that Papa, knowing you as I do!” Charlotte declares.

“I wish you every happiness, my dear.  Now, let’s not keep the rest of the family waiting for this wonderful news!”

After a celebration filled with excitement, congratulations and good wishes, the three travellers move to board the carriage for the journey back to Sanditon.  Charlotte and Sidney are surrounded and embraced, everyone talking at once of plans for the upcoming wedding.  Georgiana makes an awkward move to take Mrs Heywood’s hand, but is instead pulled into a warm hold.  She relaxes into it, grateful for this woman’s motherly care.  Before she can turn to the carriage she finds the whole family lining up to give her a kind farewell.  As they finally enter the carriage and it pulls away, the children follow for a short distance, waving and calling their goodbyes.

“This is just like when I left with Mary and Tom all those months ago,” Charlotte says, looking through the rear window.

“Except for your companions in the carriage,” Sidney says, with a happy smile.

“Yes, except for that. They trust you Sidney, and they already feel as if you are family Georgiana, and I could not be happier,” Charlotte says contentedly.

Georgiana agrees with a slightly bowed head, but her eyes are shining.

“Nor I,” Sidney says softly, “and your family Charlotte, they are wonderful.  I look forward to claiming them as my own.”

“So now, you will please excuse me while I take a well-earned sleep,” Georgiana says, yawning loudly, closing her eyes and stretching out along her seat.

Sidney takes Charlotte’s hand.  They smile at each other, sharing a long, loving look.  She leans her head in to his shoulder, perfectly content.

*  *  *

When the travellers arrive at Trafalgar House, Tom is already pouring drinks as they shed their coats and move into the drawing room.  The children are excited as they have been allowed to wait up for their return.

Henry shouts in excitement, “I knew you would bwing Charlotte back Unca Sidney!”

“Yes!” Sidney replies as he swings him up and holds him high, laughing up at him, “Of course!  Did I not promise?”

“Yes,” Henry chortles, delighted with his uncle’s attention.

“And that was a promise I could never break,” Sidney declares, tickling his ribs.

They laugh together, and Sidney lowers him back to the floor.  He runs to Charlotte, hugging her skirt.  She kneels down to him and puts her hands on his shoulders, saying, “I could not bear to stay away.”

Sidney looks on with an indulgent smile.

“Now children,” Mary says, “Sidney and Charlotte have some news for you.”

The children are suddenly quiet, looking back and forth between Sidney and Charlotte, as she gets to her feet again and moves to stand with him.

Sidney takes her hand, proudly making his announcement, “I have asked Charlotte to marry me, and she has said ‘yes’.”

Bedlam ensues, with Henry shouting excitedly, “Now I will not have to live in Willahgan!”

As laughter and merriment follow, Mary looks around her.  Even Tom is behaving well, appearing content to leave discussion of Sanditon to another day.  Unable to remember when such a happy family atmosphere was evident in Trafalgar House, she is almost brought to tears of joy. 

Finally, after a noisy evening meal the children are put to bed amongst a jumble of excited questions, with everyone very happy that Charlotte will soon become their aunt.

*  *  *

Weary from travel and the day’s excitement Sidney and Charlotte make their way towards their own rooms, tired but happy.  As they reach Charlotte’s room, Sidney gently turns her to face him.

“Charlotte, I have never known such happiness.  Thank you for accepting this brute.”

Charlotte looks adoringly up at him and says softly, “You deserve happiness!  A brute you are not! You are the kindest, most deeply caring man I have ever known.  I hope you will have the sweetest dreams.” 

“I intend to,” he responds, stroking her hair, “I will dream of you.”

Her heart leaps.  He gives her a cheeky look, saying softly, “Let’s not delay our wedding plans.”

Charlotte holds a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle, “Go,” she says, giving him a gentle push.

They both laugh again as he steps back a few paces, then turns towards his room.  She watches him until at his door he turns again, and she blows him a kiss.  He brings his hand up to catch it, moves to place it against his heart, and waits for her to disappear into her room.  Smiling, he enters his own room, knowing he will sleep well tonight.

Chapter Text

Sidney and Charlotte have decided that they will take a walk this morning to continue discussing their future plans.  He sits in the office, idly perusing the newspaper while waiting for Charlotte to have a short conversation with Mary and collect a bonnet from her room.  He has deliberately refrained from sitting at Tom’s desk as he has no wish to discover more evidence of his brother's devious behaviour and thus spoil this day. Confrontation with Tom can wait till another time.  This morning is for Charlotte. Sidney is therefore not particularly welcoming, as his brother enters the room with a loud "Good morning!" After replying with a disinterested grunt, he simply continues to read and ignore Tom’s presence.

“So, Sidney,” Tom says knowingly, his usual annoying grin on his face as he sits down at his desk, “you will be securing a room at the Crown today?”

“Whatever for?” Sidney asks, bewildered, looking up from the newspaper.

“Well, Charlotte is here.”

“I am well aware of that fact, Tom. We are engaged to be married – or have you forgotten already?”

“Of course not!” Tom replies, showing his exasperation with the movements of his hands, “that is exactly my point.”

“What is your point, brother?  I am at a loss here,” Sidney says, although he has indeed picked up on where this conversation is leading.

“Propriety, Sidney!  You and Charlotte cannot be accommodated under the same roof now!  You must live elsewhere until the wedding day!”

“I must do nothing of the kind!” Sidney replies bluntly.  “Are you saying you cannot trust me to do the right thing here?  You believe I would compromise the woman I love?”

“Well, no, of course not.  But the scandal Sidney, when people find out that you are sharing a dwelling as betrothed ...”

“I don’t think you need to worry about that Tom,” Sidney interrupts, “as there are people coming and going here as if it’s Bond Street.  There are chaperones aplenty.”

“It is not the same thing, Sidney!”

“Understand this Tom,” Sidney replies harshly, suddenly standing and throwing down the newspaper, “for I will say it only once.”  He walks to the desk, grasping its edge and leaning in towards the older man, “I have no intention of moving to the Crown Hotel.  I enjoy being in this house. I enjoy the company of its inhabitants.  I enjoy sleeping in the room next to the room where the love of my life sleeps.  I do not give a fig for the opinions of the high-and-mighty that spew out their propriety nonsense, while vast numbers of them ignore and flout it at every opportunity!”

“But ...”

“Propriety!  Huh!” Sidney declares, “Its sanctity is only truly respected by decent people who know nothing of the deeds of others happily making a laughing stock of the very meaning of the word! I will have none of their hypocrisy!  Charlotte and I will do as we wish.”

“But Sidney, Sanditon cannot endure another scandal!”

“You should have thought of that before you brought it to its knees,” Sidney says scathingly, “I will not be moving out of Trafalgar House unless Charlotte wishes it.  That is all.”

As Sidney strides from the room and heads to the stairs in search of Charlotte, Tom is left open-mouthed.  Mary, who has overheard the entire conversation, sweeps into the room with a look at Tom that makes him draw back in his chair and quiver with apprehension.

“Tom,” Mary says, confronting him at his desk and making no attempt to conceal her anger, “Charlotte will be staying at Trafalgar house as long as she might wish, and Sidney will not be asked to lodge elsewhere while I am living under this roof.  Do you understand?” she asks with irritation clear in her tone.

“But Mary –” he pleads.

“But nothing Tom,” she interrupts, “you will stay out of Sidney’s personal affairs.  You will not try to influence any decision he makes.  You will refrain from expressing any opinions on his ideas, his thoughts, his comments or his behaviour.  Do you understand?”

“Mary, if you will just listen, we must save Sanditon’s reputation –”

“Sanditon’s reputation!” she retorts in loud voice, “Did you not hear what your brother just said?  Do not mess with him Tom!  Do.  Not.  Dare!  Or you will suddenly see a side to Mary Parker that you will wish you had not, and your regret for such foolishness will mess with you for as long as you live!”

Tom lowers his head not knowing what to do to convince this raging woman that he is right.

“Promise me Tom!  You have done enough to ruin Sidney’s happiness, and Charlotte’s as well!  You will not dare to attempt such interference in their lives again!  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes,” he mumbles.  He is far from happy but cannot argue, as his wife will only bring up more of the ludicrous mistakes he has made and make him look dishonest and greedy.  She knows him too well.

“Then promise me Tom,” she insists, “you will not interfere with any of Sidney’s actions or plans. Promise me!  Now!”

“I promise I will not interfere with any of Sidney’s actions or plans,” he mutters quickly.

“Thank you,” she replies, “that is the first sensible thing you have said since the beginning of summer!”

Still wearing a look of disgust, Mary stomps out of the room.

Sidney is bolting up the stairs, and as chance would have it, Charlotte is coming through her bedroom doorway as he reaches the top step.

“Ah.  There you are, right on time!”

“Forgive my tarrying!  I was unsure which bonnet ...”

“That one will suit you very well.  You look equally striking in whichever one you wear,” he says indulgently as he leans forward to play the backs of his fingers over her cheek.

“Thank you!” she says smiling up at him.

They share a chaste kiss, before she nods her head towards the stairs and asks, “What is going on down there?  I heard raised voices.  Is everything alright?”

“Just my brother trying to dictate our lives yet again,” he growls, “trying to interfere.”

“Oh, no,” she replies, “so was there a quarrel?  I thought I heard your voice, but then Mary’s ...”

“I hate to speak of it Charlotte, for fear I will become too angry, but I must tell you, he decided I am obliged to move to a room at the Crown.”

“He did not!”

“He did indeed,” he says softly, “but I told him I will only move to the Crown if you wish it.”

“You did?’

“I did,” he says and, heart pounding, he then asks a little hesitantly, “Do you wish it?’

“I definitely do not,”’ she replies, her voice as soft as his.

“Thank you,” he says, briefly closing his eyes in gratitude, “I love you more for that than you will ever know, and believe me, Tom will not have what he demands this time.  I am well past allowing him to manipulate me, to manipulate us.  It almost ruined both our lives, and it will never happen again.  I believe we now also have Mary on our side to set him straight.”

“I wish her luck!” she declares with a frown, and then asks hesitantly, “So she is happy with this arrangement?  She does not want you to take a room?”

“She is fine with us both under this roof, he answers, “and in fact, I believe she welcomes our presence as she is still angry with Tom for what he has put us through.  I don’t believe there has been much discussion between them since he caused us all this distress.”

“I’m afraid you are correct.  He is avoiding her I think.”  Charlotte says sadly.

“Well, on a happier note,” Sidney replies, “it's quite early yet.  What say you to that walk on the beach before we eat?”

“I say yes!”

*  *  *

Sidney and Charlotte have made haste to leave Trafalgar House before anyone should interrupt, not knowing exactly what Tom has said, and unaware that Mary has extracted a reluctant promise from him to stay out of their personal matters.  As has happened in the past, but this time with much less awkward conversation, they fail to pay attention to where they are going, and all too soon on this occasion they find their steps have led them to a certain cove, now their special place...

“Ah.  Look at this.  How did we arrive here Charlotte?” he asks, with a smirk.

“Well I am sure I don’t know!” she retorts, “Once again you have led me astray Mr Parker!  I fear I cannot concentrate on the destination while you distract me with your prattle about the weather and what does not happen in Willingden!”

As they laugh together he is delighted that they can indulge in such banter these days, especially when their first meeting in this place had caused so much awkwardness when they were trying to not think badly of each other, or indeed to not think of each other at all.

“Do you know, I believe we were meant to arrive here,” he says, suddenly in serious frame of mind.

“Oh?  Why is that?” she asks, eager to hear his reasons.

“Well, you know that we’ve decided to enjoy regular walks and use them to talk about our history, our feelings, and anything else we wish to share...”

“Yes.”

“Charlotte, I believe it’s time for a confession.  I hope it will not bring you distress, but we’ve agreed, no secrets, and this is on my mind, so I must speak of it.”

She looks at his troubled face and decides that no matter what he has to say, she must remain calm.

“Whatever it is, Sidney, we deal with it together,” she says determinedly, “as there is nothing we cannot overcome.  I love you.  I will not judge you.”

“You are too good.”

“That is very generous,” she says with a loving smile, “but you procrastinate.  Now, what is this about?”

“Well then,” he replies, but then suddenly feeling a need for her touch he asks, “may I have your hands?”

She willingly holds her hands towards him and he grasps them firmly, looking down at them.  He takes a deep breath.

“I told Babington and Crowe,” he says quietly.

“Told them what?” she asks.

“Oh Charlotte, please don’t tease, this is too important,” he begs, looking dejectedly up to meet her gaze.

“I am not teasing!” she says sharply, “I do not know what you speak of.”

“But I’m sure that you do!” he exclaims, now quite flustered, “Charlotte, I told them that evening at the Crown!’”

She is still puzzled, as she asks, “Told whom?  Babington and Crowe?  What evening?  Please, you must be more specific ...”

“But you surely recall, I told you I drank myself into a stupor?”  At her still puzzled expression he jerks his head towards the waves.

“Oh!  Oh Sidney!” she gasps, suddenly realising what he means by the significance of their arrival at this place this morning, and that he needs to make a confession.  He has told his friends of the embarrassing incident here!  Pulling her hands from his and holding them up to her cheeks, she murmurs, “I cannot believe ... I thought you would never tell anyone ... I have never told anyone.”

“I know my love,” he replies dejectedly, “I am so sorry.”

Charlotte looks up into his anxious face.  He does not look well.  She decides immediately that she must make light of this confession he has made so solemnly.  She seeks to infuse a little levity.

“Well then, if I cannot look Lord Babington or Mr Crowe in the eye from this moment on, it will be entirely down to you!” she retorts, trying to sound teasing, wanting him to know that while she is shocked that he would share this with his friends, it will not change her feelings for him.  Unfortunately he does not appear amused.

“Of course it is down to me.  I am so sorry Charlotte.  Forgive me, I beg you.”

“Sidney,’ she continues, now more seriously, “As we both know, I was embarrassed that day and I thought you also should have been, but you appeared completely unaffected.  However, you have since admitted that you were embarrassed after all.  Am I correct in thinking that you might never have confided in your friends about it had you not been drinking?”

“Yes,” he says humbly, “you are right, as usual.”

“Well then,” she replies with a chuckle, thinking all is well.

He cannot share her amusement, as he adds, “but Charlotte I did not behave as I should have.  You must surely agree?”

“Mr Parker,” she replies, “as I have no experience in such matters beyond that one incident, I have nothing to compare it with, so cannot give you an opinion, sir!”

“Charlotte, please, don’t tease!  This is difficult to admit, but I was seriously remiss, I should have made you an offer of marriage.”

“You have already said words to that effect but I thought you spoke in jest.  To have made a proposal at that time, simply because ... because ... well, that might have been a little extreme, don’t you think?” she huffs in surprise, “after all, there was no witness to your ... erm ...” her voice fades out as she is unable to find the words to continue.

“Witness or no, I didn’t behave with proper decorum. I could have ruined your reputation. It’s a fortunate thing that my friends didn’t speak of it to another soul.  They merely enjoyed laughing at me and ridiculing my lack of common sense. As you can imagine, they took delight in surmising what your reaction would have been, mercilessly poking at my pride.”

Charlotte gasps loudly, throws her hands up to her face and turns swiftly away from him as she mutters, “So it is a source of amusement for them, and embarrassment for us.”

Sidney is startled, knowing she has every right to feel offended now that he has spoken of what he should have done, and has confessed that his friends have discussed it with great hilarity.  He is aghast as he notices her shoulders begin to tremble and he rushes forward to grasp them from behind as he begs her, “Charlotte, please, please don’t cry.  I can’t bear to have you doubt me, to be disappointed in me so, not now, when we’ve endured so much, and come so far ...”

She lifts his hands and twists under them as she turns to face him.  He notices the shine of tears in her eyes and his immediate thought is to brush his fingers gently against them, but he is shocked to find that she is not upset.  Her face is happy, her mouth smiling widely, and her shoulders shaking with silent laughter!

Astounded, he says, “You laugh!  You mock me?” He does not know whether to laugh with her, or fall on his knees before her to beg her forgiveness.

“No, Sidney! I  do not mock you”’ she replies, now chuckling softly as she wipes tears of mirth from her eyes, “I simply find it amusing as I had a sudden vision of you begging for my father’s blessing, and him insisting that you tell him why you are to marry his eldest daughter after such short acquaintance!”

“Ah,” he replies.  He cannot bring himself to smile, as the mere thought of such a demand from Mr Heywood near-terrifies him.

“Sidney,” Charlotte says, “you know that I love you.  Whatever troubles you, I will face it with you, gladly.  But this is not even something to regard as trouble.  Neither of us has been harmed.  Should Lord Babington or Mr Crowe ever make mention of it, we will laugh with them about it, without awkwardness, and the novelty of embarrassing either of us will soon dissipate.”

“Ah, Charlotte, I bow to your wit and wisdom!  Yes.  That is precisely what we must do!” he declares.

“This is a truly entertaining story we can perhaps even enjoy telling our children someday,” she continues, “when they are old enough to hopefully not be scandalised and to understand that we have prevailed at all odds.”

“Odd is exactly what it was,” he mutters, relief flooding his features, “I felt such a fool next morning, such indiscretion was reprehensible.  Oh Charlotte, what have I ever done to be so fortunate in having you accept me?”

“Oh, I think I am just as fortunate as you, Sidney,” she replies honestly.  I have behaved just as poorly at times, and we both know it!  We are simply suited.  We are a perfect match.”

“A perfect match ...  you know, I truly want to believe that.  Perhaps one day I’ll improve enough to deserve your faith in me.”

“You are not alone in that hope.  I too hope that I am worthy of your faith in me.”

“There is no doubt of that!  I like to think we would have found our happiness, Charlotte,” Sidney says softly, “no matter when or under what circumstances we had married."  He reaches for her hands again, saying softly, "We are stronger for the longing and the waiting, the explanations and the new understandings.”

“I think – every day – of what you told me on the evening of the regatta,” Charlotte replies, “it was a declaration I could never have dreamed of, and I love you for it.  Had we married in haste after the cove incident, I would not have heard those words from you.”

“I think I would have found a time and place to say them anyway,” he says, smiling indulgently.

“Thank you Sidney.”

“Thank you, my darling girl,” he says as he leans in for a loving kiss.

Chapter Text

Accompanied by Georgiana, Sidney and Charlotte visit Lady Denham as a priority, knowing she will be offended if others hear of their news before she does.  To their astonishment, she is delighted about the engagement, and takes pleasure in offering tea, asking in her usual prying style for full details of the proposal and acceptance.  Reluctant to share such personal information, Sidney attempts to satisfy her curiosity by simply stating that he is delighted that the lady who has won his heart is happy to share her life with him.

“So, you also believe in marrying for love, Mr Sidney!” she teases.

“I do indeed, my Lady,” he replies, amused by her veiled implication that he will not benefit financially from this marriage.

“And you have managed to accomplish a marriage for both love and wealth at once, Miss Heywood!” Lady Denham adds, turning her gaze to Charlotte.

“I have not a care for what Mr Parker’s wealth might be, Lady Denham,” Charlotte replies with a hint of annoyance, “I would marry him if he were a pauper as we share so much love and affection.”

“Still opinionated I see, Miss Heywood,” Lady Denham says with a chortle, “well, I can see you are supremely happy, so it pleases me greatly that you have had this wonderful outcome after suffering so, at Tom Parker’s hands.  I sincerely wish you well.  You deserve it, both of you, and I shall now refrain from teasing you further.”

“Thank you,” Sidney and Charlotte reply as one, and all continue to drink their tea.

After a sip from her cup Lady Denham surprises them further, with an apology for contributing to their distress on the night of the midsummer ball, now knowing that Sidney was on the point of proposing marriage to Charlotte at the time of Edward’s interruption.  She then expresses her unease that she had spoken out of turn at the Babington wedding, by giving her opinion that Charlotte would walk down the aisle very soon.  They manage to joke about it, saying that they intend to make her prediction come true.

It seems that for Lady Denham this is a day for apologies, asking Georgiana's forgiveness for offending her so badly at the pineapple luncheon, months ago.  She willingly admits it would have been a grave mistake to continue to encourage her nephew to seek Georgiana's hand.  In surprisingly humble voice, she declares that she has learned much since that day, and hopes Georgiana can forgive.  Wishing her the very best, she also expresses her pleasure in having Mr Molyneux a member of the Sanditon investment group.

“All is forgiven, my Lady,” Georgiana replies sweetly, “and I look forward to our future friendship and business dealings.”

“Yes,” Lady Denham says, somewhat surprised by the younger woman’s ready acceptance of their new position with each other, “I am sure it will be mutually advantageous!”

Talk turns briefly to the Sanditon project, and Lady Denham says again how grateful she is that Sidney is involved, as things are moving along nicely now.  She comments on Tom’s good fortune, having a brother who was prepared to sacrifice his own happiness to drag him out of his mess.  Sidney refrains from advising her yet of his intention to pull away from the project as the strategies planned by the investors are put into place.

“And now,” Lady Denham says firmly, “I wish for both couples to think about using Sanditon House for your wedding celebrations!”

As her visitors prepare to leave Sanditon House, Lady Denham asks permission to pass on their news to Lord and Lady Babington, who have returned briefly to London for business reasons, but will be back in Sanditon in a few days’ time for the investors’ meeting.  They happily give their approval.

*  *  *

My dear Charlotte,

My aunt has told me your news!  This is wonderful!  First and foremost, I must apologise for the opinion I gave of your intended when you first came to Sanditon, especially as he has been so much a part of the restoration since the fire, and appears to have been hiding a tender side to his character all these years!  You have captivated him, and brought out the goodness in him!  Indeed I feel somewhat ashamed for those earlier thoughts, as I believed much the same about Babington when we met, and now he is my husband!  But I shall not dwell on my former foolish assumptions!

So, might I say congratulations to you and Sidney!  Babington and I are both delighted and relieved for you.  Indeed I have believed since the midsummer ball that it was most unjust that you and Sidney were unable to make a life together.  We know how different things would have been but for the terrible events of that evening.  I have not heard anything of my step-brother since, and have no desire to.  I am so very glad also that the rebuilding after the fire is finally being addressed without you and Sidney having to suffer.

I might say, however, that my assessment of Mr Tom Parker has not changed at all.  I know I can trust you to keep that small piece of information to yourself!

I cannot wait to return later this week to celebrate your news with you in person.  I so wish to hear how things are progressing with your wedding preparations and whether I can help to make this the most memorable day of your life, as you did for me.  My aunt still speaks of you with affection, so perhaps you can continue to visit her occasionally whenever you are in Sanditon – she really is not such a monster after all I feel, more likely simply misunderstood.  Perhaps she will always wish to reign over us all, but I do suspect she feels somewhat lonely at times and she does enjoy your company and appreciate your forthright manner, as do I.

I might also add, I really can recommend this marriage lark.  In fact I believe I have fallen hopelessly in love with my husband!  I know you and Sidney are already in love – indeed I was sure of it as we prepared for my wedding, although you spoke little of it and were so kind in your comments as to his decision at that time.  I am assured by Babington that Sidney is besotted, so I am certain you have a wonderful life ahead of you, something you both handsomely deserve!

Once you and Sidney have settled into married life, Babington and I are looking forward to sharing many happy times with you.  We do not venture out much at present for lack of true friends to enjoy events with, but that would be very different if we were sharing the entertainments with you.  We will make a formidable team on the social circuit!

I thank you again for your care and kindness at the ball, and for being my trusted friend and attendant on my wedding day.

I shall see you soon my dear,

With affection,

Esther 

 *  *  *

Charlotte and Sidney are blissfully happy spending every possible moment in each other’s company, sometimes just together, other times with the children or other family members.  They discuss  where they should live once married, how soon Sidney will begin to introduce her to the various aspects of his business, and preparations for their wedding ceremony, most specifically arranging for the reading of the banns and setting a date for the event.  Sidney has also asked Charlotte to give some thought to where she would like to take their wedding tour, thinking he would happily have their trip replace her summer in Sanditon as her ‘adventure of a lifetime’.

Meanwhile, at Lady Denham’s invitation Mary has joined forces with her to set about preparing for the wedding breakfast to be held at Sanditon House.  Charlotte and Sidney have made it clear that they have no desire for an elaborate wedding celebration, and Mary is amused to find that this sits quite well with Lady Denham, who comments frequently that it is what she would expect as Charlotte is such a sensible sort of girl.

In a letter to Charlotte, Mrs. Heywood states again how wonderful it is to welcome Sidney to the family.  At this, Sidney becomes quite sentimental, feeling that this lady is like his own mother in the way she accepts him.  It is a poignant moment for him as he wishes Charlotte could have met his mother, knowing she would have embraced her as a daughter without a moment’s hesitation.  As the days open out for them he feels a rekindling of long buried happiness and knows it is down to his darling Charlotte.

Feeling a little guilty for monopolising Sidney’s time, Charlotte suggests he take a trip to London.  She knows there must be a great deal for him to attend to with his business affairs, and also feels he should catch up with his friends Babington and Crowe.  He suggests she come with him, to visit Susan.  No sooner has he made this suggestion, than they receive a letter from Susan stating she is giving them a party – a small, intimate group, to include Tom and Mary, Arthur and Diana, Georgiana and Otis, Lord and Lady Babington and Mr Crowe.  They happily reply with their acceptance, and Sidney ensures that all at Trafalgar House are aware he wishes to enter and exit London quietly, preferring that his and Charlotte’s engagement is not known there at this stage.

Sidney invites Charlotte to join him rowing on the river again, resolute that this time there will be no interruptions. Although their engagement is new, the residents of Sanditon are already seeing a very happy couple as they walk the beach or shop at the stores in the town.  They are content.

These days, Mrs. Eliza Campion’s name is never mentioned in Sanditon. While she was thought to have expressed interest in the Sanditon venture, and some had noticed her in the company of Mr Sidney Parker on one or two occasions since the regatta, it is as if her attendance at that event with her entourage of fancy hangers-on has well been forgotten.

*  *  *

Charlotte is delighted with Esther’s letter and excitedly shows it to Sidney who, upon reading it, is pleased to see how happy the Babingtons are, and curious as to Esther's thoughts about him. 

“So, besotted then am I?” he asks, raising his eyebrows in mock surprise.

“I cannot rightly say,” she replies primly, “Are you?”

“I think Esther has evaluated the situation rather well actually,” he says with his lopsided grin.

“I am very pleased to hear it!” she replies.

“Well then,” he says, looking over the letter again, “what was this opinion she gave you of me when you first met?  Or are you sworn to secrecy?  Is it perhaps too offensive for you to repeat?”

“Oh,” she exclaims, her face falling, “I forgot that was in there, I was so excited.  I should not have shown you the letter!  I should have only read aloud to you the parts I wanted to share with you!  I am so sorry ...”

Sidney looks at her questioningly, tilting his head to the side, amused as Charlotte bites her lip in vexation.

“I would rather not tell you, as she has revised that opinion completely anyway,” Charlotte insists, seeking a way out.

Sidney sighs.  “Right,” he says, dropping his shoulders and assuming a forlorn expression.  Looking to gain her sympathy he deliberately puts a sad tone into his voice, “Perhaps I should not insist if it’s going to make you uncomfortable.”

Charlotte giggles, “I can see you are dying with curiosity.  But she did not know you well then, so ...”

“So?”

“Well ...”

“Come my love, share it with me,” he pleads with soulful eyes.

“Oh, alright then.  She described you as very unstable and unreliable!  She advised me to be on my guard.  There, I have said it,” she says, frowning, “and now I feel terrible.”

Sidney surprises her with a cheerful laugh, as he replies, “Don’t feel badly.  It was probably true.  I hope it is no longer.  As long as you don’t believe it ...”

“You know it is far from true.  And so does Esther.  She is very happy for me – for us, and that would not be the case if she still found you wanting.”

“I suppose you are right,” he agrees, “as a matter of fact, I've had similar thoughts about her.  We’ve known each other for many years, but not spent much time in the same company.  I failed to really see what had Babbers so smitten, but she’s changed now that she’s thrown off the shackles of Edward’s influence.  She’s allowed us all to see what she had kept so well hidden ... perhaps Babbers has done for her what you’ve done for me!”

“I think you and I have changed each other – somewhat ...” she says pensively.

“Well I know I have changed,” he says with pride, “and you seem to be quite content with that so I am exceedingly pleased with myself!”

They both laugh, before Sidney goes on to ask, “And what was this assessment of Tom that Esther wants to keep under confidence?”

“Oh, she described him as a monomaniac who would bankrupt himself, well on his way to ruining himself and his family with his crazy schemes.”

With dry humour and a faint smile, Sidney says, “She has a keen eye for qualities of character then.”

“But you must not share that information with anyone!” Charlotte says anxiously, “no secrets between you and me, but we must keep this to ourselves for her.”

“Of course, my lips are sealed.”

“You are not cross with her?” she asks, surprised by his casual acceptance of Esther’s opinions, “She has said much more than I did when you berated me at the ball, but you seem amused on this occasion!”

“How can I be angry?  I’ve learned a valuable lesson on that score.  She’s much like you I think, observant and honest, and doesn’t shy away from expressing her opinions.  She gave me plenty to think about when they visited Trafalgar House the day I left for London.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.  Her comments were the final inducement for me to take action, to clear the way for you and me.  She reminded me of you with her fervour – and such accurate assessment of the situation.  No wonder you are well suited as friends!” he says with a beaming smile.

“In truth, I was somewhat wary of her when I first came to Sanditon,” Charlotte admits, “she appeared suspicious of how I might behave towards her brother, but she need not have been concerned.  I did not have a good impression of him from the beginning.  I found him a little too full of his own importance!  I felt most uncomfortable with him, dancing at that first ball.”

“Hmm ... as I have been aware since our early acquaintance, you too have a gift for quick and accurate interpretation Charlotte,” he replies, “and as to that ball, well, you were correct in your observations of a certain trio of brothers ... we both know that only too well.”

*  *  *

Delighted with what Esther has written, Charlotte writes back, inviting her to be her wedding attendant.  She then visits Georgiana and they shop happily together while Mary spends time with the children.  With Charlotte away from the house, Sidney goes into her room, walking directly to the pendant which still sits on the glass tray on the dressing table.  Picking it up, he checks the length of the ribbon.  Replacing it on the tray, he then goes to the rail where the dress still hangs.  Lifting it from the rail, he looks at it for a moment as if deep in thought.  Then, folding it with great care he takes it from the room and hurries out of the house.

Chapter Text

The day dawns cloudy and blustery, fitting perhaps, for Tom Parker’s upcoming confrontation with the investors’ group.  He rises with a feeling of trepidation, but while breaking his fast he becomes sure that he can convince this group his contribution will be essential to Sanditon’s success.  He takes the view that Sidney has exaggerated the situation, and he has every confidence that the group will be eager to hear his ideas and will appreciate his conviction to making the resort the most popular on the south coast. 

Tom takes breakfast early to avoid confrontation with Sidney, or with Mary, both of whom have offended him with their nonsensical idea that he has no right to give Sidney advice – in his view, the right of an older brother.  After all, where would Sidney have been without this advice in the past?  Not to mention the latest turn of events – his engagement to Charlotte!  Goodness, how on earth did Sidney fall in love so quickly, and with someone from a family who, while of excellent character, would have very little dowry to speak of?  So many children!  Oh dear, what he could have had with Eliza ... riches ... and such an easy life ... such benefits now sadly lost to the Parker family ...

Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Tom hastily replaces his cup onto its saucer and flees the room to take refuge in the study.  He hopes his brother will not choose to come in, as he must gather his papers for this meeting, free from distraction.  The work he has been putting into his designs over these past weeks will surely impress the most fussy of the attendees.  It will be so rewarding to be able to access funds to develop his ideas and create the artful buildings which will draw the beau monde in droves.  Perhaps after all, this will be a far better arrangement than he could have hoped for with Eliza’s welcome into the family, as Sidney appears to have no intention of supporting his plans and he has the distinct feeling that funds would have simply dried up after the debt of £80,000 had been cleared.

Mary arrives at the table, followed shortly by Sidney and Charlotte who have met on the stairs.  They talk happily through breakfast, until Sidney asks if Tom has come down yet. 

“I have no idea,” Mary says with a shrug, “I presume he’s in the study.  That is his usual hiding place.”

Sidney shares a concerned look with Charlotte, and turns back to Mary.

“Forgive me Mary, but are you alright?” he asks.

“I am as well as I can be Sidney.  I am now feeling quite recovered.”

“No, that’s not what I meant, Mary,” Sydney says gently, “I'm happy to see you are regaining your strength, but I'm wondering if you need any assistance with Tom.  Something appears terribly wrong here.”

“Please do not be concerned.  Tom and I have argued.  It was before I became ill.  I challenged him to accept that this dire situation we have been wallowing in was his doing.  He has not accepted the blame.  Until he admits that, I cannot bring myself to care where he is or what he does.  He has not tried to improve the situation at all.  I will not be the one to capitulate ... not this time.  He must make amends.”

“Oh Mary!” Charlotte exclaims, as she pushes her chair back and moves round to Mary’s side of the table, sitting next to her and placing her arm across her shoulders.

“Thank you Charlotte,” Mary says, “I am so glad I have you here.  And you, Sidney.  You might not know it, but together you have saved my sanity.”

Sidney reaches across the table and takes Mary’s hands, while she leans in to Charlotte’s hold.

“We are here for as long as you need us,” he says.  “You can ask anything of us, and we will both do our best to assist with whatever you require.”

“Thank you Sidney.  I would be lost without you two wonderful souls,” Mary says, her eyes now filling with tears.

“Mary, let’s spend time together this morning while the meeting is taking place,” Charlotte offers, “just the two of us.  We can do whatever takes your fancy.”

“Thank you Charlotte.  Yes, let’s do that!”

Sidney nods his head in approval and gives both women his most engaging smile.

*  *  *

Mary is now much improved.  Feeling ready to take a little exercise, she leaves the house with Charlotte and as the wind has dropped they take a leisurely stroll to the beach.  Meanwhile, Sidney is aware that Otis might find this morning's meeting a little intimidating, so calls at the Crown to see if Otis and Georgiana would like his company to Sanditon House.  The offer is gladly accepted and they walk together to collect Georgiana.

As they arrive at Sanditon House Sidney feels relief that the history of the past several weeks is about to be rewritten.  For once, he is happy to enter this place, and is delighted to see that there will be a strong attendance.  He is aware that Otis is quite nervous.  Although Otis had already been accepted without question during the discussion at Trafalgar House last week, this is new to him and he is anxious about his ability to understand and contribute to what might be a very complicated morning of business.  He welcomes Sidney’s expertise and Georgiana's confident encouragement.  

Sidney has not invited Tom to also accompany them.  He prefers to have Tom arrive in his own time, thinking it best to keep distance between them as Tom is about to discover the determination that Sidney will bring to this meeting, to ensure that his brother will not endanger the project as they plan its revival and work for its success.  Whether or not his suggestions will be taken on by the committee, he knows Tom will be angry, seeing his plan as disloyalty when in fact it is Tom’s opportunity to be redeemed and be regarded as a man of integrity again.

James Stringer arrives, having been invited by Babington at Sidney’s request, and Sidney introduces him to those he has not met, ensuring he feels welcomed.  Tom finally saunters in, assuming an air of importance and behaving as if it is natural for all to have waited for his arrival.  Watching Tom, Sidney is already annoyed.  He uses his now familiar way of dealing with his brother’s irritating habits – thinking of what Charlotte would do – to remain calm.

After all have briefly greeted one another the official proceedings commence, Babington taking the lead and advising that with much to cover they must make headway without distractions.  Membership of the committee is decided and agenda items are addressed, with many completed quickly and satisfactorily.  Sidney is then asked for a report on what the situation has been since the fire.  His response is simple and to the point, including the reality of the debt, his efforts made to meet the most urgent payments including the men’s wages, and what the workers have achieved in clearing the site.  He now expresses gratitude to those in the room for their most loyal and unwavering support through his period of trouble and indecision. 

James Stringer has been listening in a state of stupefaction.  All at once Sidney Parker's situation becomes clear, something he knows he should have realised from the outset.  It is at this point that Sidney makes several suggestions.  

The first recommendation is the promotion of James Stringer to the position of Project Manager and Fred Robinson to that of Foreman, Sidney citing their experience and loyalty to the project.  These recommendations are resoundingly accepted by the committee, and James accepts his new position with great excitement, expressing his gratitude to Sidney and the committee, and assuring them that Fred will be a most appropriate choice for the role of Foreman.  Sidney states that he has a further proposal to put forward but will leave that until other matters are dealt with, as its importance is not to be lost in the general business.  All are in agreement.

Tom has been fidgeting in his seat and has attempted on several occasions through Sidney’s talk to interrupt with his own opinions, but Sidney has simply ignored him, continuing to speak until his presentation is finished.  Frustrated that he is disregarded, Tom stands and professes loudly that he has much to contribute to this meeting, if he could simply be given the courtesy to put his ideas forward.  Babington gives him a nod.

Rolling out the drawings which he has brought with him, Tom begins to gush about his dreams for the new resort.  He has barely started, however, when Lady Denham interrupts, “Tom Parker, we will not be looking at those drawings today.  Take them off this table.  Now.”

“But Lady Denham –” he sputters.

“Take them away Mr Parker!” she insists sharply.

“But you need to see where this project can –”

“Are you deaf Mr Parker?” Lady Denham asks, eyeing him angrily, “You wish to destroy the re-establishment of our project, before it has even begun?”

Babington speaks up quickly, “Tom, this is not the time.”

Looking to Sidney for support, Tom says hopefully, “Sidney ... brother ...”

“No, Tom,” Sidney replies quietly, shaking his head, “put them away.  I have something to say and I think now is the time for my final proposal to this meeting.”

“You have the floor, Sidney,” Babington states, nodding at Tom with a frown, indicating for him to sit down.

Sidney looks round all present at the table, and knows that what he is about to say will be fully supported.  Everyone in attendance is well aware of the terrible trouble Tom has caused not only for his brother, his wife and children, his other siblings and his future sister-in-law, but also for Lady Denham and the entire population of Sanditon.  Sidney takes a moment to think through what he must say.

“I have given much thought to what I wish to put forward.  I believe my brother Tom has a certain talent, to promote any project he is committed to,” he says, “but very little ability to understand the financial and administrative responsibilities that come with its management.  For this reason I propose that Tom be appointed to undertake the promotion of the project, with strict adherence to tasks under that role only.  This would include that he not have the approval to seek quotes, place orders or have access to financial resources for any aspect of the project.  As to whether he is given a place on this committee, I will abstain from discussion due to my familial connection with him.  We are all aware that he cannot contribute financially to this project, so perhaps he might be given a paid position as Promotions Manager.  That will be for others to decide.”

“Sidney!” Tom exclaims, his face red with anger and embarrassment, “How could you?  I would have expected much better from you!  After all I have done for you, this is your way of repaying my generosity?”

Crowe snorts, catching Esther rolling her eyes, and Diana gasps in alarm, gripping suddenly at Arthur’s arm.

“Tom, this is not the place to be airing personal grievances,” Sidney replies wearily, “if you take the time to consider what I propose, you will see it is an attempt to provide you and your family with a living.  We both know this is something you have relied upon me to assist with, for some time now.  We can discuss this later at Trafalgar House.”  

“No!  We will discuss it now!” Tom says, fuming in his frustration.

Sidney looks to Babington, nodding.

“Tom, we must move on with this,” Babington says.  Then looking round the table he asks, “Do we need to discuss this further?”

Susan speaks up, stating that she believes this would be a fair and just appointment as a paid position, without Tom being appointed to the committee.  She then suggests it be put to a vote.

“Are we all satisfied that it be put to a vote without further discussion?” Babington asks.

The response is immediate and unanimous.  Tom, furious, leaps to his feet.  He looks glaringly at Sidney as he says harshly, “You have betrayed me Sidney!  After all I have done to make a man of you!  I can no longer call you my brother!”

With that, Tom rushes from the room.  Sidney is hurt, but not surprised.  He feels a sudden need for Charlotte to be by his side.  With a sigh he lowers his head, hoping for the meeting to simply continue without need for his further input.  The silence, however, makes him aware of others sympathising with his position.  He raises his head and takes the time to look round all at the table, before expressing his thoughts, “I beg your forgiveness.  This has been an unwanted distraction and for that I apologise.  Please do not allow this to influence your decisions.  Tom simply has no idea of how a business should be run.  His outburst has been unwelcome and unprofessional.  There is no need to attempt to convince you of his ineptitude but he truly does have talent for promoting a project.  That is all I will say on the matter.  Perhaps you should excuse me while you discuss this.”

“We do not wish for you to absent yourself, Sidney,” Susan replies, “as we are all aware of the position you are in.”  She looks round the table as she asks, “Are we all in agreement on giving Tom time to settle, and offering him this position, as Sidney has suggested?”

“I agree, provided it is a paid position and he is not appointed to this committee,” Lady Denham replies.

James looks a little startled by all that has happened, and quickly says, “I will not contribute to this as I am not part of this committee.”

“Of course, thank you,” Babington replies. 

“I will abstain,” Sidney says, “for reasons already stated.”

Babington nods to Sidney, and then looks for a response from the others, asking, “So, we are in accord?”

“We are,” Arthur replies, as there are murmurs of agreement and some nodding of heads from the others present.

Susan adds, “I also speak as proxy for the London investors, and I vote in the affirmative on their behalf.”  She hands the appropriate signed documents to Babington.

“With one abstention then, otherwise unanimous,” Babington says, ticking off some notes on his agenda.

“If you will bear with me now, for one more moment,” Sidney says, “I wish to advise that from today I will steadily reduce my involvement with this project in terms of its management.  Charlotte and I will happily continue as investors, and I will extend help to Mr Stringer as needed, but I will gradually withdraw from the management of the project to allow him full control.”

Lady Denham appears most displeased, saying sharply, “Are we not good enough for you now Mr Sidney?” 

“It is not that, not at all,” he replies, “I must attend to my own business which has suffered some neglect while I have been occupied with concerns here.  I also have a very important event coming up in my life, and it simply comes before all else.  I hope that does not offend you my Lady, but there it is.”

“Oh alright,” lady Denham says with an air of weariness about her, “I cannot deny you deserve to be with the one you have fallen so hard for, especially after the sly manner in which that other woman tried to wrest it all away.”

Uncomfortable with Lady Denham’s comments providing a public airing of his former difficulties, Sidney attempts to bring the conversation back to the business at hand.

“Well, Babington, are there other matters?” he asks.

Within a short time the meeting is done, and all are happy with the outcome.  Babington and Crowe seek Sidney out to offer their help if he should need it with Tom.  He is surprised by his own anxiety over Tom’s whereabouts since he fled the meeting, but has no wish to ask his friends to put themselves out for this man yet again.  They insist that he call for them should he need their help.

Georgiana and Otis leave together and Sidney now walks with James to the worksite. A fresh breeze has sprung up, and both are happy to take in the air after the lengthy meeting indoors.  They discuss aspects of the work and both feel sure that they can have a successful working relationship.  James is feeling much chastened by what he has heard at the meeting, and now understands that Charlotte has not suffered alone.  There is a seemingly very complicated story here.  Lady Denham’s comments have alerted him to the fact that Sidney Parker has been trying to satisfy the selfish demands of his brother and been caught up in a very much unwanted engagement with Mrs. Campion.  These concerned people have somehow helped him to break away from those circumstances with dignity.  What he has obviously endured, it would stagger any man. 

 James is resigned to his fate.  News of the engagement has circulated very quickly since Sidney and Charlotte announced it to Lady Denham, and while he was deeply saddened to hear it, James knows now that they are happy and he wishes them well.  Enlightened at the meeting as to the reasons for Sidney’s engagement to Mrs. Campion, he now regrets his harsh judgement and feels much sympathy for the man, realising the sacrifice he had been forced to make for his family.  While he cannot rejoice in the recent turn of events, he is accepting of it, and feels embarrassed now that he had even dared to hope, considering Charlotte's devotion to Sidney Parker.

After discussion with the workers, Sidney walks the beach and searches the coves in an attempt to find Tom.  Unsuccessful there, he turns to the cliff paths, but again finds no trace of his brother.  Taking swift strides and holding his coat tightly around him against the now biting wind, he visits Arthur and Diana, but they too have no idea where Tom has gone.  Arthur suggests that perhaps Tom is hiding somewhere he feels sure they will not look for him.  This gives Sidney an idea, and he returns to the beach where he looks into each of the bathing machines, finding Tom crouching in the far corner, in the last of them. 

“Tom,” he says with relief, “are you alright?”

“You know the answer to that,” is Tom’s gruff reply.

“Do you wish to speak –”

“Go away Sidney,” Tom interrupts, “I do not know you and have no wish to,” he mutters, keeping his face turned away.

Accepting that he will accomplish nothing here, Sidney turns back for Trafalgar House.  He feels exhausted.  As he walks, he decides that as Tom is unhurt he will not continue to pander to his sulking.  He will see to some other concerns, and look forward to some hopefully cheerful conversation with Charlotte and Mary this evening.

Upon his return to Trafalgar House Sidney skips up the stairs to his bedroom.  He sits at his desk, takes out a sheet of paper and begins to write a letter.  As he commits his thoughts to the paper, the words flow far more easily than he has expected.

*  *  *

After the evening meal, from which Tom is absent, Sidney tells Charlotte and Mary about the meeting outcomes and Tom’s flight during the proceedings.  Mary, not feeling sympathetic, says that Tom deserves to find himself alone and that he needs to consider the harm he has done to others.

“I can try again to speak with him Mary, if you think it might help,” Sidney offers.

“No.  He is not a child.  He must take responsibility.  For far too long he has relied on you Sidney, and I will not see it continue to spill over, onto your life with Charlotte.”

Sidney nods his head to indicate his respect for her wishes.  In his heart he agrees, he finally has the happiness he has craved and he knows Mary will not have Tom destroy that.  He takes Charlotte's hand, suggesting that they all take an early night.  The women agree, Mary needing rest and Charlotte happy to go to her room to write a reply to her mother's recent letter.  She and Sidney part at her door, Sidney asking her to give his regards to her family.

*  *  *

Charlotte begins her letter to Willingden.  After writing only a short line, she sits back for a moment to consider her words.  Looking across towards the wardrobe she realises with a start that something is missing.  Her ball gown is no longer hanging on the drying rail.

A rush of thoughts invading her mind, she sits open-mouthed, wondering what has happened to the dress.  How has it disappeared from under her nose?  Has a maid removed it?  No, they have never asked what should be done with it; in fact it is as if nobody has wanted to speak of it.  But where has it gone?  She remembers back to the conversation she had with Mary a fortnight ago ... oh dear, Mary has taken her at her word that she did not want it ... perhaps this is Mary’s attempt to remove some of the sad memories, to help Charlotte and Sidney to forget ...

Abandoning her letter, Charlotte sits, staring at the empty space and thinking sadly of what she has lost ... it is ridiculous, she knows, but she had changed her mind ... she would never be able to wear it anyway, ruined beyond repair as it is, but somehow, there had been a connection ...  

Chapter Text

Being first to the table for breakfast Sidney is thinking over yesterday’s happenings, delighted that James Stringer has so eagerly accepted the role of manager for the Sanditon project.  He feels immensely relieved that the last vestiges of this unwanted weight of commitment to Tom Parker’s catastrophe have finally begun to lift from his shoulders. He wonders where his brother has spent the night, and while concerned for his safety and wellbeing, he knows that Mary is right.  Tom must make an effort to accept his own faults, seek forgiveness for the hurt he has caused, and make a start on the path to a better self.  It will be difficult, of course, and he must be sincere.  His character is such that his promises are easily made, with no real desire to hold to them. Those promises, all empty or broken, have brought him to this point of despair. He must now decide whether he continues to blame others or face the truth that he is the architect of his own downfall.

Charlotte’s arrival in the room brings Sidney out of his reverie and he rises to greet her, kisses her cheek and pulls out the chair for her to sit beside him.

“I hope you slept well?” he asks.

“I did.  And you?  I was a little worried you might have Tom on your mind.”

“Well yes, a little, but his behaviour is not my concern now.  I do need to speak with Susan and Babington before she returns to London, regarding the offer Tom seems reluctant to even consider.  I'll make sure of the details before I seek him out again, if he will even give me the time of day!”

“I am so sorry Sidney.  You are still tormented daily with this situation when you deserve to be rid of it all!” Charlotte declares.

“I have you.  You keep my feet on the ground,” he says, smiling and leaning in to bump shoulders.  “And now,” he says, waving his arm across towards the dishes and changing the subject to more cheerful things, “what do you desire, my dear?  Some anchovy paste, perhaps?”

Charlotte looks up to him with suspicion, and knows without a doubt that he is aware of the comparison she made about him at this very table when speaking with Mary and Tom.  Sidney has a most mischievous look and she feels a flush to her cheeks as she asks, “Who told you?”

Laughing, Sidney says, “Ah, divulging that would be putting someone at risk of your wrath.  I do not dare.”

Charlotte bumps his shoulder as he has hers, and laughs with him, before holding a cup forward for him to pour her some tea.  “I think I might forego the anchovy paste this morning,” she says, giving him a delightfully cheeky grin.

Their conversation turns to their plans for today.  Sidney apologises for the possibility that they will not be able to spend much time together.  He mentions that even with his thoughts wandering a little over Tom, he has dealt with some business since his return to Trafalgar House yesterday and will be posting letters off to London before visiting the worksite to speak with James again.  This is something he will do as needed until James is confident in all aspects of the management position. The most pressing business will be his discussion with Susan and Babington, which might take some time, before he looks for Tom.  

Charlotte assures Sidney she will be occupied while he is otherwise busy, as she and Georgiana intend to spend the morning with the children, perhaps take a walk later to purchase writing materials and simply spend time in conversation, at the beach or by the river.  Knowing from last night’s discussion that Mary will probably come down a little later this morning, Sidney kisses Charlotte’s cheek again and wishes her a pleasant morning before heading out.

When Georgiana arrives later in the morning Charlotte is already enjoying time with the children.  They welcome Georgiana into the school room and the morning seems to disappear quickly as she holds their attention with her painting skills, and helps them to create some interesting drawings for their Mama.  As they break for the midday meal Mary joins them and is surprised and pleased with their artistic offerings.

Charlotte and Georgiana are delayed in their walk after the meal as Susan appears at Trafalgar House, wishing to visit Charlotte before she departs for London.  They spend some time discussing the celebration planned for next week, and Charlotte is surprised by Susan’s determination to introduce her to her modiste and arrange for her wedding dress and trousseau.  When Charlotte begins to protest, Susan simply tells her to hush, and adds that she has already spoken with Sidney who wishes for her to choose from the very best, in style and fabrics, with whatever colours she might prefer; no detail is to be neglected.  An appointment has already been arranged and Charlotte must allow the full morning.  Thinking this is unnecessary, but surprised and pleased that Sidney has been giving thought to such things Charlotte thanks Susan and agrees to this appointment on the morning following their celebration.  Susan adds that this will take place at her home, so that Charlotte need not feel concerned about being seen in London, something both she and Sidney wish to avoid.

Sidney’s morning has gone reasonably well; having posted his letters he has had a productive discussion with Babington and Susan, but his search for Tom has been exhausting.  He is surprised to finally find him at his favourite cove, and is immediately annoyed that Tom is sitting on what Sidney now considers his and Charlotte’s rock.  Knowing his annoyance is a ridiculous reaction, he takes a deep breath and walks over, to sit beside his brother and attempt a reasonable conversation. 

“How are you Tom?  Have you eaten?  Have you slept?” he asks with concern.

“What do you care?” Tom replies sullenly.

With this petulant reply Sidney is reminded of the cricket match when he had attempted to reason with Tom as he left the beach, embarrassed by the workers’ claim that he had not paid them in weeks.  On that occasion Sidney had been shocked by the news that the men had not been paid for their work but he had tried to restore calm and help Tom to maintain some dignity.  Here and now he is not feeling so eager to help his brother, but he knows that Mary and the children need this man to face up to the very challenges that he has brought upon himself.

 “Believe what you will, Tom, but if I did not care then I would not have spent so much of my time searching for you to make sure you are alright,” he replies, “and I would not be here taking this nonsense from you when you owe so much to others, who have prevented your being taken to debtor’s prison and having your family thrown out of their home.”

“You have always been so capable of exaggeration, Sidney.” Tom snarls, “and have ignored the fact that I saved you from your despair all those years ago.  You had the opportunity to make it up to me but no, you chose to throw away a life of ease and take up with someone who cannot hope to provide a fraction of what Eliza could.  You have ruined our family’s future, Sidney.”

Sidney is stunned.  He had expected before sitting down with Tom that he would be subjected to angry accusations, but not to this extreme.  His anger boils.  He could overlook – with difficulty – Tom’s rudeness if only directed at him, but to offend Charlotte in this way is unforgivable.

“That’s it Tom.  I came to speak with you about your position with the rebuilding of what you claim to be your dream.  If you truly cared about it you would seek to remain involved, in whatever capacity you can.  You do not care about this ‘dream’.  You care only about Tom Parker.”

“Of course I care about it.  You would not know Sidney.  You have never had a dream that keeps you going night and day.”

“You could not be more wrong Tom.  My dream was to spend my life with Charlotte.  I allowed your folly to convince me to give up on that dream.  Now, I can finally see that dream come true.  You believe what you wish to believe.  You want me to continue to feel that I will owe you for the rest of my life.  I owe you nothing Tom.  You owe me.  You owe Mary.  You owe your family.  You owe all of Sanditon.  And do not ever forget, you owe Charlotte.”

“Charlotte?”

“Yes Tom.  You owe Charlotte.  I could sympathise with you, had you not chosen just now to offend the woman who has done more than any other person to help you at least make this supposed dream of yours come true.  You have no gratitude, Tom.  And now you have offended Charlotte.  That’s it.  Enough. I wipe my hands of this.”

Without further words, Sidney leaves Tom gaping, and makes his way to Trafalgar House.  He needs Charlotte.     

 *  *  *

Charlotte and Georgiana have barely left Trafalgar House to make their purchases when Sidney arrives back.  With one glance, Mary is aware that he is in terrible frame of mind.

“What is it?” she asks hesitantly.

“Where is Charlotte?” he replies, with his own question.

“You have just missed her.  She and Georgiana have gone to purchase stationery.”

“Oh of course,” he says, keeping a tight rein on his words, although he would like nothing better than to let forth a string of curses, “I’ll find them.”

“Are you alright?” Mary asks, frowning.

“I will be Mary.  I will be, when I find Charlotte.”

He leaves the house and as he begins to walk briskly towards the shops he sees Charlotte and Georgiana laughing together as they come towards him.  Calm washes over him and he slows his pace.  Just seeing her coming his way has been enough. 

*  *  *

Back at the house, Sidney declares that he must go to the kitchen to find some sustenance as he has not eaten since breakfast.  Charlotte and Georgiana decide that they will take that short walk to the river as they know Mary would like a word with Sidney, to see if Tom has accepted the position on offer from the committee.  Promising they will be back in time for tea, they leave the house and are surprised to see Otis coming towards them.  Charlotte offers to let them have this time to themselves but they insist that she join them.  Happy to do so, Charlotte enjoys hearing their version of events from yesterday’s meeting.  While she is concerned about Tom’s flight from the meeting she is happy that with James accepting the manager’s position, Sidney will soon be free of the burden he has carried so faithfully and so long.

Sidney, meanwhile, has taken a moment to speak with Mary and advised her of Tom’s insulting accusations against him, and the offensive comments about Charlotte.  Mary is horrified to think that Tom could have such disregard for Charlotte’s contribution to Sanditon, and that he would still prefer to see Sidney suffer with marriage to Eliza Campion.  Apologising to Sidney, she fears that Charlotte will be deeply hurt by Tom’s behaviour.  She thanks Sidney yet again for his help in getting this family through so many difficulties.

After a quick sojourn to the kitchen Sidney heads out to the worksite to discuss some further management matters with James Stringer.  Returning a short while later, he makes his way upstairs to his room, advising Mary on the way that he has letters to write but will join the ladies for tea when Charlotte and Georgiana return.  He has had this feeling throughout the day; he simply wants to be with Charlotte.  Within a few minutes he becomes aware of the happy sounds of their laughter at the entry, so promptly leaves his unfinished letters to join them.  Surprised to find Otis accompanying them Sidney quickly relaxes into conversation and a merry party ensues.  Sidney is grateful; this is exactly what he needs today.

Some time later, Georgiana realises that Mrs. Griffiths will be wondering where her charge has gone.  She quickly says her goodbyes and Otis leaves with her to accompany her home.  Charlotte has been feeling guilty for not yet writing back to her mother, so excuses herself with a smile to Sidney and Mary, promising to not take too long as she would like to get the letter to the late post this afternoon.    

Sidney watches Charlotte go, puts his cup down and glances up smiling, picking up the teapot to pour a refill.  Mary looks curiously at him before turning to watch Charlotte walking towards the stairs.

“What are you up to Sidney?” she asks, her curiosity aroused.

Sidney looks at her, adopting an air of innocence.  “Nothing,” he replies, “Why?”

“You seem to be keeping some amusing thought to yourself?”

“Just happy Mary.  So very happy.  Sometimes I just can’t stop looking at her.  She is simply devastatingly beautiful.  I’ve missed her all day.  I just can’t take my eyes off her...”

“You are very much in love I believe,” Mary says.

“I could not be more so.”

Mary squeezes his hand on the table.  “Finally, you have what you deserve,” she says happily.

“Oh, this is so much more than I deserve,” he replies, “but I have no intention of denying myself this joy.”

*  *  *

As Charlotte enters her room, her glance is immediately drawn to a large parcel on her bed – an exceptionally attractive box, similar to those used by dressmakers and milliners.  Very curious, she approaches the bed, wondering if this parcel has been brought to the wrong room, as she has certainly not purchased any bonnets or items of apparel since returning to Sanditon.  Deciding to open it, she lifts the lid to find something well wrapped in tissue paper.  Fully inquisitive now, she hesitantly touches the tissue, wondering what this can be, wrapped so perfectly.  Carefully, carefully, Charlotte draws the tissue away ... to gasp in astonishment at what lies before her ...

“Oh!” she whispers, “My dress!  My beautiful dress!”

Touching the fabric with the softest movements of her fingers, she knows a sudden rush of joy.  Almost afraid to take it from the box, she gazes at it in fascination.  Her pendant from the ball is placed there, in such a way to appear that it is already being worn over the dress, the ribbon new and beautiful, the pendant clear and shining.  And there, set a little lower on the dress is a large piece of paper, neatly folded and simply marked with one word, ‘Charlotte’.  She recognises the hand.

“Oh Sidney!” she whispers.

Picking up the letter, Charlotte sits on the bed to open it out.  Her heart swelling with joy and wonder, she begins to read ...

My most beloved Charlotte

I can scarce believe my wondrous good fortune, that I now have you in my life. I bless the day you arrived in Sanditon. Yes, our early acquaintance was marred by misunderstandings and confusion, but we have weathered the storms and arrived at a place of harmony and joy. You have taken my cold, stony heart in your gentle hands and warmed it through with new life, with laughter, with love. You have brought me happiness I cannot describe. That you have accepted me, that you have agreed to share with me whatever life may bring, I scarce can take it in.

The contents of this parcel may surprise you, but I had to at least try to make reparation for their destruction on that fateful night. I wanted them restored to what they were when you wore them, on what I had hoped at that time would be the most important evening of our lives. So many thoughts have been chasing round in my mind: It seems that every ball we have both attended has brought us frustration and discontent.  

At the first ball I caused you great distress, and I can only say again that I am truly sorry, and grateful that you found it in your heart to forgive me, brute that I was.

Of the second ball, in London, what can I say? I was spell-bound by your beauty, happy in our new-found understanding, and for the first time I felt a connection with you so powerful that I was unable to resist. Nor did I wish to. What was its cause I did not know, but I was totally content that it should be so. I could not take my eyes from your lovely face. I found joy and laughter bubbling up inside me.  I wanted our dance to go on forever, without a care for who might be watching. My subsequent foolish behaviour I now look back upon with regret and disbelief. I can only plead confusion, and ignorance of the depth of my affection for you at that time – something I realised when I discovered I was in danger of losing you. 

At the regatta, when you asked me to leave you alone I found the very notion unbearable. I wanted so desperately to recapture what we had shared at the ball. I could think of nothing else, and by the close of the event I had come to realise that you are everything to me. I thank the stars you were prepared to listen when I came to Tom’s study that night. I was by no means confident of your returning my feelings, but I was never more hopeful of anything in my life. 

And then, the midsummer ball - you were wearing this gown. I watched you enter the ballroom, the pendant at your throat, its sparkle reflecting your own. I had never seen you look more beautiful. You took my breath away. Your loveliness filled my world. I wanted to dance with you, hold you close, gaze forever into your eyes, your beautiful face, and rewrite our history. And I wanted to marry you.   

Who could have predicted that such disaster could ensue after the wonderful promise we had found in our cliff top walk but a few hours before? I so much regretted what occurred in the weeks that followed. I despised myself with every breath while I felt obliged to engage myself in the only solution I could find to Tom’s disastrous situation, knowing that I had broken both our hearts and no longer had anything to offer you. From the depths of my being, I thank you for your understanding. You are the most remarkable of women. I will strive for the rest of my days to make up for all the sadness I caused for you – for both of us – and I will do whatever it takes to be the man that you deserve.

Mary told me you no longer wished to wear this beautiful dress, and I fully understood that sentiment when I looked at it; the splashes of mud, the soot, the undoing of our evening and of that promise we had found on the cliffs.  And the pendant – its ribbon also soiled – such a terrible spoiling of what was supposed to be our most precious night, when I had intended to ask you to share your life with me forever.

Please, my dearest Charlotte, if you can find the resolve to do so, will you wear this dress and your pendant this evening? We will walk the cliff tops together, to that special place. You will take my breath away. Your loveliness will fill my world. We will dance without a care for who might be watching. I will hold you close, and gaze again into your eyes, your beautiful face. We will begin to re-write our history and all will be as it should. And just as at the midsummer ball, just as at this moment, I will want to marry you.

I love you,

Sidney

Chapter Text

Charlotte closes her eyes, bringing Sidney's letter in to hold it close to her chest.  She lets out a long, slow breath and says on a whisper, “Sidney ... Oh-h ...”

That Sidney has written such a romantic letter has her almost disbelieving.  What could be more wonderful?  What more charming and delightful things is she yet to discover about this captivating gentleman?  Every day brings a new surprise, and this is the most extraordinary surprise of all.  This is Sidney Parker at his most improved.  This is the Sidney Parker she will love till she draws her last breath ... and astonishingly, of all the ladies he might be impressed by, he has fallen in love with her...

Turning to look again at the dress and the pendant, Charlotte cannot stop smiling.  This man, so taciturn and aloof when they first met is now showing her again, without reservation, that same tenderness she had discovered and cherished from him for an all too brief moment, before their hopes for a life together had been so mercilessly dashed.

“Rewrite our history,” she says softly as she hugs his letter close, “Oh Sidney, my dear, dear Sidney!  If this is a dream I never want to wake up!”

Charlotte stands again and turns back to the parcel.  Putting the letter down, she picks up the pendant, holding it out to catch the light, looking it over before placing it on the bed.  She takes up the dress, drawing it carefully out of the box, allowing the skirt to fall free as she holds it away to gaze at it, tears welling in her eyes, emotion welling in her heart.  Turning round slowly, she brings it against herself, so that she might look at its effect in the full length mirror.  She glances up to find Sidney standing at the door, hands behind his back, watching her with a soft and loving expression.

“If it is a dream, then I hope I have a part to play in it,” he says, with a tender smile. 

Charlotte gasps, drops the dress onto the bed and rushes to him, throwing her arms round his neck.  He wraps her gently, pressing his face into her hair while she holds him tightly. They stand together, simply holding one another, as she whispers, “Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.”

Drawing back a little, she looks up to him and says, her voice choking with emotion, “Sidney, the dress, the pendant ... what you have done with them ... for me!”  She shakes her head, “Your letter ... your words, they are so beautiful!”

Her hands slide down from his shoulders, and he takes both of them in his own, drawing them up against his chest.  He gives her his crooked smile as he says, “As you are very much aware I rarely manage to express myself well.  In truth, those words cannot begin to say what I feel, but they are from the heart.”

“They are perfect ... they are simply perfect.”

Sidney leans forward to kiss her gently on her forehead.

“I missed the gown last night,” she says, her voice betraying her disappointment at having discovered it gone, “I thought Mary had discarded it!  And that made me sad and regretful for what I had told her, that I would never wear it again ... I had changed my mind ... you see, with all that has happened now I no longer feel the distress of it all.  It’s the happy memories I find myself dwelling on, and I had so loved wearing it that night!”

 “And I loved you wearing it! When you walked in with Mary ... my heart turned over!”

“But how did you manage this?” she asks, waving her hand to indicate the items on the bed.  “How did you have the dress repaired?  It was in my room until yesterday, or have I simply failed to realise it had been taken away?

“Yes, it was already gone before yesterday,” he explains, “I took advantage of your time with Georgiana the day prior.  Mary was busy with the children and you were out walking.  I had to be quick!  I was also afraid of meeting you in the street but happily, chance was on my side.”

“How very daring of you!”

“Well, it all went as planned,” he says proudly, “but today has not been so easy.  I had made a request of the dressmakers to have it done as a matter of urgency.  Even so, I had not expected such a rapid completion of the repairs.  They took the task very seriously.  I checked in this morning to see how it was progressing, and they assured it would be delivered this afternoon.  I had to make some hurried decisions to ensure you would not discover my intentions.  I spoke with the staff when I went to the kitchen for a morsel to eat.  They were happy to take it to my room upon delivery, without Mary being wise to the secrecy.”

“Oh, what a delightful conspiracy!” she exclaims, “You are a devious one Mr Parker!”

He chuckles, tightening his grip a little on her hands, then looks fondly into her eyes and says, “This is the only kind of secret I will ever keep from you, my darling girl, the kind that is simply meant to conceal a pleasant surprise.”

“And what a surprise it is!  Your care for me, Sidney, the trouble you go to, it leaves me breathless sometimes,” she replies softly.

“It’s no trouble.  It's simple Charlotte.  I love you.”

“And I you.  But what of the pendant?  The new ribbon ... and the polishing ... it sparkles so well!”

“Ah, that took a little time, also when you were not in the house.  I purchased the new ribbon while you were with Georgiana.  And I borrowed the polish from the servants.”

“So it is all your own work?” she asks in surprise.

“A labour of love, my sweet,” he replies, smiling down at her.

“And the letter ... how did you find the time to write such a beautiful letter?”

“Ah, those thoughts had been floating round in my mind for some time.  It was after my return from finding Tom in the bathing machine that I simply had to put the thoughts to paper.  It is only the last part – the request – that I have added today, before tea.  It calmed me Charlotte.  Writing those words to you brought me happiness ... contentment ... just as your presence does.”

Smiling, Charlotte replies, “Simply knowing that makes me happy too, Sidney.”

“And now, about this dress,” he says, “it is my dearest wish now to see you wearing it again.  Do you think perhaps we can recreate that night for ourselves?  I know there is no ball we can attend, but we could walk to the cliffs, to that special place where we might indulge in a dance of our own, perhaps?  Just the two of us?”  He is looking longingly at her, hoping for her agreement.

Smiling brightly, she replies, “Yes. Then I had best prepare!"  She begins to pull away.

“I too! ... But wait, wait ...”

Sidney grasps her hands, draws her to him slowly and touches his lips to hers.

“Hmm ... I think it best I let you go,” he says with a soft chuckle, “before I forget how to be a gentleman!”

They both laugh as she moves back and they slowly let go, fingers lingering as they slide apart.

“Yes!  Go then!” she says, “But hurry!”

Sidney walks backwards from her room, with both laughing softly.

*  *  *

Arriving back at Charlotte’s door, Sidney only has a minute to wait.  His hand moves to his chest, covering the unfinished letter; it resides as always close to his heart.  With every change of his waistcoat he transfers it, and he always places it under his pillow as he retires for the night.  There are times when he thinks it might be awkward should his friends ever discover his secret.  For sure, Crowe would enjoy trying to embarrass him for his sentimentality.  Such thoughts are not enough, however, to make him cease with his little ritual.  He is certain that this little letter fragment has been significant in keeping him sane, this mad world he has been struggling to survive in.  How different this week has been! Dreams lost now rediscovered, love denied now strong and bright, for him and his shining girl.

As Charlotte comes towards him from her room Sidney meets her shy smile with his expression soft and warm.  He says nothing, but takes a deep breath, gazing at this angelic creature before him.

Charlotte, almost breathless, speaks first, “‘Thank you so much for this.  I feel so cared for, so loved.”

“You are so loved,” he responds, “and ...  Charlotte, you look beautiful.”

Charlotte whispers in response, “I feel beautiful ...”

Sidney holds out his arm, she takes his elbow and they walk downstairs smiling.

When they enter the dining room, Mary looks up, astonished. 

“Oh Charlotte,” she says, “you look ...” she stops abruptly, and then recognising the dress, exclaims, “The gown! It’s ...”

“Yes,” Charlotte replies, “It’s as lovely as it was before the ball.  I have Sidney to thank for that.”

“Oh! I knew you were upset to see it ruined, Sidney.  I had no idea you had arranged for its repair!  It’s wonderful.  But where are you two going?” she asks, suddenly puzzled, “I haven’t heard of any event?”

Charlotte looks up at Sidney, to find his gaze fixed on her, as he responds to Mary’s question, “Oh yes, there’s an event.  We are attending a private party.  We two are the only invited guests.”

Mary looks momentarily bewildered, but all at once smiles knowingly.  “You will not be needing a chaperone then?”

“Ah, no,” he replies, smiling at Mary's teasing while finding it difficult to draw his gaze away from Charlotte.  There are smiles all round as he nods to Mary before they leave for their evening out on the cliffs.

“Go on then you two,” Mary says as she cannot help but smile.

Sidney and Charlotte look at her in surprise.

“An instance of déjà vu I am feeling here...” Sidney remarks.

Mary laughs, remembering these were her very words on the last occasion they took a walk to the cliffs, before the fiasco that had changed all their lives.

“Yes, indeed,” she replies, “now off you go!”

Chapter Text

Sidney and Charlotte are walking the cliff path. Far from feeling the awkwardness of their previous walk in this place they are enjoying cosy conversation, happily looking out to sea, laughing, and almost skipping along as they share in what they both know is carefree, silly  nonsense, their hearts lively and spirited, their eyes sparkling. 

Charlotte looks down at her dress and then at Sidney’s ever so fine evening outfit, slipping her hand in behind his elbow before declaring, “Anyone watching would think us mad, wandering about the cliff tops before sunset in this formal attire!”

Chuckling down at her, Sidney replies, “Yes, you are probably right.  But I don’t care!”

“Neither do I!  I could not be happier.  I am taking this most delightful walk with the most handsome and charming man I know.”

“Are you flattering me, Admiral?”

They laugh as she leans in against him, looking adoringly up at his handsome, smiling face.

“Charlotte, might we set that wedding date tonight?” he asks hopefully.

“I should like that very much!”

“Are you satisfied with taking up Lady D’s offer?” he asks, a little unsure, “I feel she may have assumed too much, as we didn’t give her a definite affirmative answer but she’s drawn Mary into her planning already.  I don’t mind where it takes place, but you weren't given the opportunity to choose.  I wonder if you might prefer that we are wed in Willingden.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, I am happy with Sanditon, actually.  As much as I love my family and grew up happily in Willingden, I feel much more settled here.  It is as I’ve said before; I’ve fallen in love with the place.”  She is quiet for a moment, before she continues pensively, “I felt some strange kind of emptiness, upon my return to Willingden after ... after we parted ...  and it’s as if I have somehow grown away from it now, as my home.”  Her face brightens as she then says, “In any case, I would not wish to offend Lady Denham.  It was kind of her to offer, and she seems much taken with you lately!  You have charmed her!”

“I cannot imagine how!” Sidney chuckles.

“I can.  You saved her investment!  I think perhaps this is her attempt to atone for any previous offence.  But, that aside, you only need be your usual self.  You charm everyone.”

“Well, I believe you are exhibiting a distinct partiality there, Miss Heywood,” he replies with a smirk, “but I’m quite content to acknowledge your opinion and assure you that you have no argument from me!”

Charlotte giggles, “I am glad to hear it!”

“But she really is fond of you Charlotte.  I agree, we can indulge her whim.  Perhaps three weeks from today?  What do you think?  Not too soon?  We need to have the banns read, but there should be no other reason for delay.”

“So this would not be rushing things, inviting gossip?” Charlotte asks, “I do not want you to suffer; after all you have a business to run in London.”

“I couldn't care less for whatever gossip there may be, nor do I anticipate any repercussions, as Mrs Campion’s manipulations will be seen for what they truly are if Susan has anything to do with it.”

Although wondering what he means concerning Mrs Campion’s manipulations Charlotte chooses to keep the conversation cheerful and focused on their plans.  “If you are certain, then I think that would be marvellous!” she says excitedly, “We could visit Reverend Hankins tomorrow.”

“Yes.  We should also speak with Mary and Lady D.  What would you like them to include in the planning my love?”

“Well, nothing elaborate,” she replies.

Sidney turns to her, remembering their brief conversation at the Babington wedding; Charlotte’s question, and his use of that very word ‘elaborate’ in his description of the plans for the wedding with Mrs Campion.  While he was resentful and uncaring about such preparations then, this is different.  This is Charlotte.  Her day must be all that she should wish it to be.

“Are you sure?” he asks, “I know you’re not inclined to indulge the pretensions of high society events, but I don’t want you settling for less than you desire on our special day. I would give you the world, Charlotte.”

“I know!” she replies, smiling happily up at him, “but yes, I am sure. I wish to share our day with family and close friends.  Beyond that I do not care.  I only need you.”

Sidney tilts his head and gives her his disarming smile.  “It seems our needs are well matched.”

“I believe they are,” she replies.

“We will only invite a trusted few from London,” he says musingly, “I don’t particularly want all of London even knowing we are to marry.  We can return with it simply a fait accompli.”

“That suits me very well.  Your friends are now my friends, so invite whomever you wish, but as long as Susan can join us I will be perfectly happy!”

“Of course, and I’ll ask Babbers to stand up for me.”

“And I have already asked Esther! Once she has spent some time with Lady Denham I am planning to visit her while she is at Sanditon House, and she will no doubt have an answer for me,” Charlotte replies, her excitement growing.

“You know,” Sidney says, “it’s good that Esther has found such a loyal friend in you.  She’s so much happier.  She’s had a difficult time under Edward’s control I believe.  And now she’s finally in love with the man who worships her.  Fate does make it right in the end, for some.” 

He looks down, smiling at her, and gently covers her hand in the crook of his elbow. 

“Yes, as it did for us," she replies, “we have been tested, but it has been made right for us too."

He nods in agreement as they walk on.  Charlotte looks down at her dress wanting to thank Sidney again for his thoughtfulness and generosity.

“Sidney, I keep thinking this must be a wonderful dream.  I cannot thank you enough for what you have done, I feel so beautiful in this dress, so happy, so different from when I was preparing to leave for Willingden.”

“Oh?”

“When I was packing my things for the journey, well, I simply could not bring myself to fold the dress into my trunk.  You see, it was a reminder of too many things; memories that I believed I should not take home with me.”

“Charlotte, I am so sorry.”

“No, please do not be!” she pleads, running her fingers along the ribbon round her neck, “It’s just that while I was packing, I picked up my pendant and memories of the ball rushed in.  It made me sad, and ...” Her voice trails off. 

Sidney glances at her, then looks back in the direction they are walking.  He needs to know more.

“And?”

“Well ... uh ... no, no matter, it is nothing,” she mutters.  She is unaware of Sidney turning his head sharply, taking in her troubled countenance and her unexpected change in humour.

“Please, Charlotte, I see you are struggling with my possible reaction to your comments.  Do not refrain from speaking your mind.  That is not your way.  You always speak honestly, and I’ve no wish for that to change simply because you fear I might be offended.  If it causes you pain to speak of it then by all means don’t, but please don’t hold back on my account.  If you wish to share your thoughts, then I wish for that too.  No secrets, remember?”  He smiles, taking her hand and pressing it lightly in encouragement. 

Charlotte takes a deep breath, and then continues, “Well, I decided I could not take the pendant home with me.  I could not bear those memories to plague me every time I might look at it, you see.  So I left it on the tray, and went on with my packing.  I took the dress off the rail to fold it into my trunk, but when I looked at it ... well,” she drags out her words uncertainly, “... I could not continue ... I ...  all at once, I found myself in the grip of this ... flood of memories ... of the ball.”

Sidney takes a short, sharp breath, “Such as?”

Charlotte looks up at him as their pace slows.  She speaks softly, feeling a little shy about revealing these very private thoughts and hoping Sidney will not find her silly and foolish.

“Arriving to see you smiling at me, I felt like the most fortunate girl in the room ... then when Mr Stringer asked me to dance ... although it was enjoyable, all I wanted was to be twirling about the room with you, I could not help seeking you out and hoping the set would finish quickly ... till finally I followed you up to the balcony where you started that conversation ...”

Sidney is looking directly at her now, ignoring the path as he listens intently.  Charlotte is frowning, her voice now almost a whisper, “Only to be interrupted by Sir Edward Denham ... and then there was the fire ... you were so strong, dragging that water cart, leading the fight ... but after all was done, only the ashes and ruin ...”

Charlotte pauses, wondering if she should say what is now on her mind, and if Sidney will understand her thinking.  She decides she must be honest, and take the risk of his finding her dramatic and silly.

“You will think me mad, but I looked at the stains on the dress and ... I imagined them to be the stains of ruination ... ruination of our happiness.  I held it up to observe the soiling and ... this feeling ... it was as if my whole world crumbled around me.”  She takes a deep breath, smoothing her hands down the fabric of her skirt and then gripping it, bunched in her fingers, she continues, “I buried my face into this dress, Sidney, and I cried.  I cried for you, and I cried for me ... for what we had lost.  I cried till there were no more tears in me.”

“What? ...”  Sidney has stopped abruptly, turning to face her.  He is looking at her in astonishment.  He feels his heart beating hard against the wall of his chest, his skin hot and prickling as he thinks of the significance of what Charlotte has just revealed.   She has listed his very memories from when he had held her dress.  She looks up to him, seeing the shock in his face.  She takes in a sharp breath, dropping her gaze to the ground before continuing, her voice soft and remorseful, “Oh!  I am so sorry Sidney!  I should not have said these things.  I really do talk too much!  I ... forgive me ... now I have ruined our evening.”

“No!” Sidney disagrees strongly, “Charlotte, you have not ruined anything!” 

“I fear I have, but something compelled me,” she says in an endeavour to explain, “I felt I must tell you, whatever you might think of me.  The dress is now beautiful and it is even more special for me to be wearing it now than it was on the night of the ball.  That is because you have made it right again.  It no longer makes me feel the sadness that it did that day, when it brought me to tears.”

“Charlotte, I find this difficult to take in.”

“Forgive me ...”

“No, there is no need ... it’s not that.  You say the dress brought you to tears.  I must tell you ... it ... it also brought me to tears.”

Sidney has brought his hand up to rest on his chest, over the place where her precious letter is safe in his waistcoat pocket.

“I don’t understand,” Charlotte says, but while frowning at his words she also notices his hand over his heart, and her concentration shifts immediately to his wellbeing.

“Sidney, are you unwell?  You are in pain?”

“No, my love.  Not at all, but I have a confession to make.  There is something I’ve wanted to tell you but not found the right moment ... but I am certain now, that this is the time.”  He glances about and takes her hand, “Come, sit with me,” he says softly, “this will take a while in the telling.”

He guides her to a small rocky outcropping that provides a naturally flat seating area.  As they sit, he reaches into his pocket and brings out the small square of folded paper.  Very softly he says, “Give me your hand.”

As she does so, he turns her hand palm upwards and places the paper on it.    

“Yours, I believe,” he says, with a trace of a smile.  He gently closes her fingers over the paper.

Mystified, Charlotte asks, “Mine?  What is it?”

“Open it,” he says as he moves his own hands to his lap.

She carefully opens the paper and discovers her own handwriting.

“This is ... how ... Sidney where did you get this?” she asks in confusion.

“I am sorry.  I must admit that I stole it ... from your room at Trafalgar House.”

“Wha... but?  I discarded it!” she exclaims.

“Yes, into the fireplace.”

She nods slightly, remembering that she had screwed the fragment into a ball and tossed it angrily at the grate while wishing she could berate his brother for his recklessness.

“That’s right ... but ... you have read it?” she asks in alarm.

“Yes,” he replies, “when I recognised your hand, I am ashamed to admit this but I could not resist.  I was also acutely aware that your action must have been in anger.  This was quite crushed and tightly screwed into a ball.  I knew I should not read it, but then.... please forgive me.”

“Indeed I was angry, with Tom, and with Mrs Campion ... but not with you ... never with you.  She gives out a little chuckle as she continues, ‘It does not matter now Sidney.  This is in the past.”

“It’s not merely in the past for me Charlotte.  It’s very much part of the present for me.  This fragment holds your thoughts, and has been with me since the day I discovered it.  I carry it with me.”

“You do?” Charlotte asks in surprise.

“Wherever I go.”

“But ... why?”

“Well, at first, it was all I had of you.  These days, it’s a reminder of the good fortune you’ve brought into my life.  I’ll keep it close for however long it might hold together.  It may well fray away to nothing in time, but you and I, we will never suffer that same fate.  I promise you.”

Charlotte almost chokes with emotion.  “Oh Sidney, that is a most beautiful sentiment.”

“Quite simply, it is how I feel, my love.”

“I too.”

“But now, I have a long story to tell you Charlotte.  You said I would think you mad.  I do not.  However, perhaps you will think exactly that of me when you hear what I have to say ... but I must share it.”

“Please, no, if it is something you would rather not ...”

“I want to.  Truly.  It’s especially important, after what you have just shared with me.”

“Alright then.”

Sidney takes a deep breath, running his hands through his hair, briefly allowing his fingers to interlace at the back of his neck as he gathers his thoughts, then sliding them down to grip the lapels of his coat. 

He looks out to sea and launches into his story.

Chapter Text

“It was the day after you left Sanditon to return to your family.  I believe ... I believe I had ... I don’t know, I can only suppose it was some sort of ... breakdown.”

“Oh!”

“Yes ... it’s quite difficult to explain ... indeed had it been witnessed I might now be locked away, perhaps shackled to a cold, rough wall in Bethlem.”

“What?” Charlotte gasps.

He turns now to meet her horrified gaze as he tries to put the details of this bewildering incident into words, “It was very early morning.  I hadn’t slept well.  In fact I’d spent most of the night reflecting on the past weeks and cursing fate, wishing I’d acted differently, knowing I’d made a mess of things.  I’d destroyed our hopes and made you sad –”

“No, Sidney, no, this whole situation, it was not your –”

Charlotte is halted, by Sidney very gently placing two fingers to her lips as he continues, speaking very softly, “Please my love, I think we both know better than to deny this any longer, and that is in fact why I came undone so badly I think, trying to deny the truth.”

Charlotte says nothing more, looking sadly into his eyes and wanting to reassure him, but knowing that his fingertips resting softly against her lips are asking for her silence. 

He drops his hand and then reaches to grasp both of hers as he continues, his voice tense, “I packed my bags in a hurry, to depart before the household stirred.  I planned to leave Mary a note and get away as soon as possible.  With you no longer there, I could not remain in that house.  I was passing your room when I noticed the open door.  Somehow my boots simply found their way in, and all at once I was looking at this fragment of your letter to Alison.  When I read your words, Charlotte ... I don’t know if I can adequately describe what happened to me ...” He frowns as he attempts to relate the effect of what she had written, “I was ... shocked ... it was as if the words on the paper came to life, rose up to strike me ... to punish me.”

Charlotte gasps, as he goes on, dropping her hands and wrapping his arms tightly round his body.  He looks to the sea again as he quietly continues.

“I felt ... a blow to my body ... it was savage.  Something was exerting a power over me.  I was falling, stumbling ... some strange force pushing me back, crashing me against the bed, tossing me like a toy.  It was frightening.  I was so afraid, Charlotte, I thought I would scream ... but the scream was trapped inside.  I could make no sound ... I could not draw breath.  I was rigid with fear.  I could not think, or attempt to understand it.” 

He pauses, taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly.  Charlotte waits patiently for him to feel ready to continue.  Needing her strength, he turns back to her, reaching for her hands again.

“It was terror such as I had never known, even in the worst times of my sorry youth, even at my most lost and wretched point in Antigua.  Pain ... my entire body ... so much pain, Charlotte.  I had never known such pain.”  He closes his eyes, his brow furrowed deeply and his breathing now rapid as if he is feeling again the agony that had ripped through his body that morning.

“Oh my love I am sorry!”  Charlotte whispers.  She tightens her grip on his hands.

Sidney takes a moment to gather his thoughts.  His voice is soft, as he drops his gaze to their hands and continues, “I could not defend myself against this ... this ... thing.  My mind was in torment.  I felt I was being torn into a thousand pieces ... such agony ... my heart ripping away.  I had not the strength to fight it, unable to lift a finger, or even to think of what I could do ... it was all I could do to cling to your letter ... I was truly in trouble ... trying to find a breath of air.”

Sidney is now fidgeting, loosely smoothing his hands over Charlotte’s, before entwining his fingers with hers and holding tightly.  He whispers, “I believed I must be dying.  Punishment, Charlotte. And I knew the blame ... the fault ... was all mine.”

She whispers back to him, “No!”

“Yes.” 

With difficulty, Sidney raises his head.  He is determined to look directly into her eyes as he confesses his thoughts.

“I don’t know how long I sat on your bed.  I was crushed by this ... this ... experience.  My body was limp ... useless.”

He is frowning now.

“There was such an ache.  I was not capable of movement of any kind ... as if I was buried under the rubble of Tom’s ruins.  Oh-h-h ...”

He closes his eyes tightly as he feels the smarting of threatening tears.  He holds his breath a moment, and then continues, forcing himself to look directly at her again.  He knows already that she will understand but he wants her to see his deep remorse.

“And then a new pain,” he says, “the pain of guilt ... pressing down upon me.  Shame flooded through me ... shame that I had treated you so badly.  Charlotte,” he says, slowly shaking his head, “what you had endured at my hands...”

Charlotte’s eyes are now pooling with tears.  He lifts one hand to her face and as those tears spill over, he tenderly catches them onto the backs of his fingers.

He struggles on, “I had done worse to you than Eliza Campion did to me all those years ago.  Worse, because I knew what you would feel ... how could I?  Yet I did.  I had already known that pain ... and yet I did this.  I had tried to convince myself that you and I were together the victims of fate’s cruel twist, but there in that moment, sitting on that bed, I finally admitted the truth.  I was not a victim.  I was the perpetrator.  I finally saw Sidney Parker as he really was; selfish, uncaring and hurtful ... a despicable man.”

“No!” Charlotte exclaims, shaking her head vigorously, gripping his hands hard.

“Yes.  Were it not so, I would have decided otherwise to solve Tom’s situation.  You would not have suffered.  But I needed to face this situation honestly Charlotte.  I took some time to reflect, and it was as I began to think clearly again that I noticed the pendant in the tray, and then the dress.  And now ...” he pauses as he begins to push and pull with her fingers, “I must tell you what happened next – something that I am sure must surprise you at least ...”

“Alright.”

“I picked up your pendant,” he says. “and my thoughts were a muddle.  Soot came away from the ribbon, onto my fingers.  I thought immediately of the ball.  Then I saw the dress ... the stains ... I could scarce believe the state of it!  I had to touch it.  I had to hold it.  I took it from the rail.  And – this is what I find astounding Charlotte – there was a flood of memories for me, all from the night of the ball, the very same memories you have just described!  Every one!  I looked at the dress again, holding it out.  I saw you wearing it ... so beautiful ... love of my life ... my future wife ... I saw how it should have been.  I became distraught.  I could not bear to think on what had unfolded ... the tragedy, the despair of what my life had become ... the loss ... loss of you ...”

Sidney looks down, picks up part of Charlotte's skirt and gently rubs the material between his fingers. 

“I saw then that the dress was torn.  It was torn, as I was torn.  I couldn’t bear it.  I buried my face into this dress, and ... and ... I cried."  He meets her gaze again.  His voice becomes a husky whisper.  "I sobbed, Charlotte ... till I could sob no more ... till ... till I was empty of tears.”

Sidney’s eyes are glistening, threatening to spill over.

“Oh Sidney!” Charlotte exclaims softly.

“When I gathered my wits and looked at the dress again ... there were new stains, from my tears.”

“Oh.  Your tears and mine ... together on this dress.”

“Yes.  Do you see why I had to tell you my love?  Do you see this as I see it?”

“I believe I do,” she replies, breathless now, “Sidney, we were meant to be.  This dress – it was keeping us ... well, tied to one another in a way, during that sad and painful time!  We believed it was over, but it was not truly done.  Perhaps our hearts - indeed our souls - were not truly separated.  Do you agree?”

“I am convinced of it,” he agrees, his voice hoarse with emotion, “Should anyone ever need proof that we belong together, well, there it is.  I can’t imagine why we’ve had to endure this heartbreak to find our happiness, but I would suffer it again and again for us to be with one another at its end.”

“I too.”

They fall into a long moment of silent gazing into each other’s eyes, their hearts overflowing with this newfound awareness of the strength of their bond.  He holds out his arm for her to move in close, drawing her gently against his side.  They sit without words, looking out together, simply drinking in the beauty of their now special, beloved place, observing its subtle transformation under the changing hues of the setting sun.

After some time Sidney sighs.  Charlotte looks up at him questioningly.

“I hope I've not brought a chill to our happy evening now,” he says with a touch of regret.

“No!” Charlotte declares, “We have just discovered this most wonderful aspect to our attachment!  She gathers the skirt of her dress into her hands.  “You must have somehow known within yourself that this dress has an important place in our history!  You had to make it right, and you have accomplished this in the most delightful way, even if it was not consciously done, even if your intent was simply to make me happy.”

“Perhaps,” he agrees, his voice husky.

“All is well for us now Sidney,” Charlotte exclaims, “thanks to your wonderful kindness.  In mending the dress you have mended us.  Perhaps it is the final piece we needed to be complete again, but we simply hadn’t known this.”

“Yes, and perhaps we were meant to discover this here, in this very place, that we might forget the pain of that sad farewell.”

“I believe so.”

“You know, I've seen much in my life that has left me jaded and mistrustful,” he says quietly, “I've never believed in miracles.  But if there is such a thing, then you are my miracle.”

"This is a miracle!” she replies, swishing her skirts about, “You are the worker of miracles!  You have made this evening perfect!  For me!" 

"I'm glad."

With sudden seriousness, Charlotte says, "And now there is one more thing you must do, this time for you."

Confused, he asks, “What is that?”

“You must allow this remorse to be a thing of the past.  I have already made it clear that I need no apology.  There is nothing I must forgive.  You must forgive yourself.”

Sidney’s gaze sweeps over Charlotte’s face, her skin now blushed from the warm shades creeping in with the sunset, her hair picking up the soothing coral hues of its afterglow.  A crimson streak settles low across the sky, gently reaching across the water and promising the beauty of a rich purple twilight.  He cannot think of an occasion when he has felt more content, more at one with another, more loved and admired.  As the sun slips down behind the sea, he feels the weight lifting, his heart now free of the heavy shame he has carried for these long, troublesome weeks.

“Charlotte,” he whispers, “my most beloved Charlotte.  Thank you.”

“I love you Sidney!”

“And I love you.  I cannot find words to express this feeling.”

“Oh, but you have already,” she replies softly, “Your letter.  It is exquisite.”

“Well then,” he says softly.

“Well then,” she replies. 

Smiling, they share the memory of those words from another conversation months ago, when they had made their first tentative approach towards friendship.  They move towards one another and their lips touch, tenderly holding together for a long moment.  As they draw away he feels he must say more.  He tightens his hold on her hands just a little.

“Charlotte, I love you with all that is in me.  I give you my heart, my soul, my whole self.”

“Oh-h," she says softly, "you have my heart too Sidney. When I left in the carriage from these cliffs that sad day, I believed I had lost my chance of ever having a perfect love.  But here I am, with you.”

He chuckles a little as he responds, “But do you not recall our conversation after the regatta?  I'm a great deal less than perfect.”

“You are perfect for me,” she replies with a loving smile, “my perfect love.” 

Charlotte turns to pick up the unfinished letter, folds it carefully back along its creases and holds it out to him.

“Yours, I believe,” she says softly.

He reaches for it slowly, with a slight nod of his head.  Without words he places it back into his pocket, close to his heart.  As he lays his hand over it, she recognises the significance of his gesture and allows herself to bask in the unmistakable joy evident in his smile.

With twilight now settling in, Sidney stands, offers Charlotte his hand, and asks softly, “Dance with me?”

Rising from the rock, she takes his hand and moves in close.  Sidney begins to hum and, as on the beach after he had proposed, she recognises the melody from the London ball.  This time they pay no attention to the proper steps of this dance but simply hold each other close, moving together in time with the melody.  Throughout his rendition of this lovely air, their eyes are fixed adoringly on one another, their hearts in perfect harmony.  

As his humming comes to an end they continue to sway together ever so slightly, Sidney bringing her hand to his chest, just as he had at the ball.  He looks down at her in the early evening light, her beautiful face bathed in its lustrous shimmer, her dark eyes soft as velvet.  He whispers, “I wish we could stay here, dancing forever.”

“So do I,” she whispers back.

There is a long pause as they simply stand together, holding each other close.  Eventually they draw back, by unspoken mutual consent.

“Much as I’d prefer to remain here with you,” he says reluctantly, “I suppose we must head back down to Trafalgar House?  We’ll not have the twilight for much longer."  He looks up.  "With only a half-moon, although it’s already high in the sky, it will not be so bright for finding our way tonight, and it's always a little more difficult on dusk.”

“Yes, perhaps we should go anyway, before Mary sends out a search party!” she replies.

“You know, my love,” Sidney says softly, “this evening hasn’t gone exactly as planned.  I hope you’re not disappointed ...”

“Perhaps it’s gone much better than planned!” she replies, looking up at him, radiant with love, “it’s been absolutely perfect.”

“I’m glad.  And Charlotte, may I say again, you look beautiful.” Sidney gives her his adoring smile.

“Thank you, and may I say I have the most handsome companion here this evening!”

“More flattery Admiral Heywood!” he says with a soft chuckle.   

Charlotte giggles, and cheekily says, “You laugh and smile a lot these days!”

“I have good reason,” he replies, “You.”

“I like that ... very much!”

She tucks her hand into the crook of his elbow, and perfectly content they begin a leisurely stroll back towards town.  As they go forward Charlotte makes a silent vow that she will find a way to surprise Sidney, to return his wonderful gesture, and to prove her gratitude for his love.  It will not be easy, as he is not a person who seeks satisfaction from others in any aspect of his life, but there will be something.  Perhaps she will speak with Mary, or perhaps Lord Babington ... she smiles in secret anticipation of finding the perfect surprise.

Sidney is thinking of his own good fortune; he now has all he could possibly desire.  He is a most fortunate man, somehow blessed with far more than he deserves.  This beautiful young lady by his side is his light, his love, and his future.

Chapter Text

Charlotte wakes to the sound of a door closing.  Immediately alert with thoughts of last evening on the cliffs, she happily allows herself a few minutes to become lost in the memories of her conversation with Sidney.  Tossing back the covers she sits up hugging her knees, smiling with contentment.  She is in love, with the most handsome, charming and compassionate man she has ever known, and this man returns her feelings, utterly and completely.  Only a week ago she was adrift in a world of confusion and heartbreak.  Who could have thought her life would be so different today?  She must be the most fortunate woman in the world.

Leaving her bed, Charlotte almost skips to her window, to pull back the curtains and greet the new day.  To her delight it has dawned sunny and clear.  This will be perfect for her plans, to walk with Sidney to visit Reverend Hankins and set the banns in place for the wedding, now that they have fixed a date.  Dressing quickly she hurries downstairs to find Sidney has also risen early.  He greets her with a kiss to her cheek and assists with her chair, then squeezes her shoulders lightly before taking his seat beside her.  They take this opportunity to discuss the plans for the day, and as Mary enters the room they are already rising to leave.

As Charlotte has expected, Reverend Hankins takes the opportunity on their arrival to begin sermonising.  Sidney cleverly cuts him short with the statement that they have much to attend to and must not be late for another appointment.  With an air of despondent resignation, the reverend takes the appropriate information from them, slowly and fastidiously making his notes.  With all finally in place, he advises them that the first of the banns will be read at tomorrow morning’s service and insists that Mr Parker should attend.  Sidney nods cheerfully, pleased to do whatever is asked of him to ensure the most important day of his life should proceed without difficulty.

Happy, and at least a little excited that this first task is taken care of Sidney and Charlotte make their way to Sanditon House to spend time with Lady Denham, Babington and Esther.  All are delighted to see them and it is a very happy group taking tea and engaging in conversation, mostly about the engaged couple’s upcoming wedding and future plans.  Esther tells Charlotte that it will be an honour to assist as her attendant, and Babington is delighted when Sidney asks if he will do the same for him.  Lady Denham insists that they stay for the midday meal, after which she retires to rest, Babington and Sidney remove to the study to discuss the Sanditon project and Esther invites Charlotte to take a walk in the garden.  Charlotte broaches the subject of a surprise for Sidney, and while Esther has no immediate ideas she promises to speak with Babington, who might know of something special Charlotte can do.

After their pleasant day at Sanditon House, Sidney and Charlotte begin their walk back, along the cliff road. Talking of upcoming activities Sidney suggests that they stay an extra day in London following Susan’s celebration dinner.  Charlotte is happy to do so, as this will work perfectly with Susan’s intention for Charlotte to spend the entire morning at her home for her appointment with the modiste.  Having requested assistance from Susan, Sidney is delighted to hear that this has already been arranged.  He mentions that he has no desire to be seen in London, so will make his necessary visit to his business very early,  before doing most of his work from Bedford Place.  Staying another night will allow them an early morning departure when they are less likely to be noticed, Londoners not being in the habit of rising early.

“It would not surprise me, Charlotte, if Mrs. Campion has people stationed near Bedford Place to report back to her, should they notice our comings and goings.”

“Oh!” she exclaims, “Do you think she would stoop to doing something that might harm you?”

“I believe she is capable of it,” he replies, “and would take great pleasure in causing me pain.  But it is you I am concerned for, Charlotte.”

“What?”

“She is convinced that you have won me away from her,” he says with a touch of awkwardness.

“She cannot think that!  I went away –”

“Yes,” he says, placing his hand over hers on his arm, “I told her that.  She is desperate, Charlotte, desperate to win,” he replies, “She regards this as some sort of competition.”

“That is not the behaviour of a woman in love!” Charlotte says emphatically.

“No, she is not in love, certainly not with me.  She is a vindictive woman, who must win,” he says harshly.

“Oh yes, she told me,”  she says, remembering the snide insinuation in the other woman’s comment as they watched the rowing race, “at the regatta, she said she does not see the point in entering a race if not to win.”

“She said that to you?” he asks in surprise.

“She did, and I was well aware of her meaning,” Charlotte replies knowingly.

“Charlotte,” he says looking fondly down at her, “she could not hold a candle to you for fighting spirit.  What she has is a selfish, manipulative way.  What you have is all compassion and fairness.  You will always win.”

“I have no desire to test my wits against hers!” she retorts.

Sidney laughs, grasping her hand, as he says, “Don’t ever change, my darling girl!”

“Alright.  Since you ask so nicely.” She replies, relaxing into sharing his humour at her outburst.

“I hope though, that I haven’t worried you, with talk of her scheming,” he says, taking a serious tone, “I think perhaps she is not well, so her behaviour might be unpredictable.  Not that her health should be our concern, provided she does nothing to harm you.”

“Or you!” she exclaims, trying to not sound too alarmed, “Sidney, I am not sure I should ask, as speaking of it may be unpleasant, but is there anything you wish to tell me of the conversation with her when you broke the engagement?”

“I’ve no difficulty with that.  As a matter of fact, l will tell you all you wish to know.  It was a long conversation, with much said that was hurtful and malicious.  She proved herself a very spiteful woman.”

“So she has maligned me?” she asks, “Is this why you have refrained from telling me of the conversation?”

“No, not at all.  I’ll never keep anything from you.  I’ve simply been too happy, spending my time with you.  I’ve not given her a second thought, except when you mentioned her.  Oh, and when we told Tom and Mary, of course.  But I will answer anything you ask of me.  You’re right of course, she has said the worst possible things about both of us.  I cannot tell you how grateful I am that I was not caught in her trap.”

“What happened?”

“She played me for a fool, Charlotte, a gullible fool.  That’s also how she described me when she realised I had lost my heart to you.”

“Oh.  How insulting!”

“It was insulting, to you.”

“But you must have been angry.”

“I was outraged, on your behalf Charlotte.  I cared not for what she said of me.  But I didn’t allow her to see that outrage.  I told myself you wouldn’t wish for me to display anger.  The fact that I was calm, I think incensed her further.  But had she been honest when I first called on her for help, none of this debacle would have occurred to destroy our happiness and bring us such torment.  I have Augusta Babington to thank for the knowledge that she had used her influence, to prevent the banks from lending Tom even a precious penny.  She knew I would discover her treachery, but she didn’t care.  She believed she and I would already be wed, and so it would be too late for me to do anything about it.”

“Oh-h-h.”

“Her actions came back to smite her, however, as she had delayed making our engagement known to the newspapers.  Her intent was for it to show in the social pages at the time we signed the contract.  She wanted the attention, while I wanted none of it.  I believed – as she did – that we were committed due to our verbal agreement, but she had not sought a witness to that at her house.”

“So?” Charlotte asks, confused. 

“So, the unwitnessed verbal agreement and the unsigned document were both useless to her.  In fact, there was no contract.”

“Oh my!  Oh Sidney! What a happy relief you must have felt!” she exclaims, “But oh, how you suffered – for naught!”

“Well, not for naught, Charlotte.  This whole ordeal has taught me something wonderful – that what I have with you is the most precious thing I will ever know.”

Charlotte smiles up at him, and for a time they walk in silence, both thinking through the conversation so far.  She then seeks further clarification.

“You think her perhaps unwell,” she says suddenly, “so what leads you to that opinion?”

“She was inconsistent in her mood,” he replies, “and there was a lack of coherent reasoning.  She tried to change my mind by any means, grasping chaotically for something to convince me.  She berated me, called me for a fool and threatened me, then cajoled, promised and pleaded, changing from one to another and back again.  She spoke ill of you, me, Tom, the children –”

“The children!”

“Yes.  When she spoke of them her voice was dripping with scorn, and she said that when you sat in the sand with the children she knew you intended to win me away from her.”

“Oh!  I had no such plan!  I was intimidated by her elegance!  I believed I could not hope to compete with her! I was covered with sand, for goodness’ sake!”

“Ah, Charlotte, perhaps you were not trying to win me, but you most assuredly had a hold on my heart!  I became aware of her jealousy as we moved on to the bathing machines.  I was finding my way to you even then.  It was later in the day that I knew ...”

Charlotte feels breathless at the thought that Sidney was falling in love with her at the regatta, when in confusion and hurt she had sent him away!  She loves this man.  She loves his concern for her happiness.  She turns to him, pulling gently on his arm to have him halt in his steps.

“What is it?” he asks with concern.

“Just this,” she replies.  She steps up to kiss him.  “Just that.”

“Ah.  You may do just this, or just that, again if you wish!” he says laughing.

“Let’s not get carried away!” she retorts.  They chuckle together as they turn again to the path.

As they walk on, Sidney mentions Eliza only once more, “I think Susan will be keeping a close watch on Mrs. Campion’s activities, so we need not worry overmuch.”

“Of course.  Let’s simply enjoy our visit to London!” Charlotte replies with determination.

“Yes.  Let’s do exactly that!”

Chapter Text

The carriage trundles along at a fair pace, having approached the outskirts of London.  Tom and Mary have already travelled on ahead and Otis, already back in London will meet with the rest of the party at Lady Susan’s residence this evening.  Sidney had offered to accompany Tom, to allow Mary to travel in this carriage with more pleasant company, but she had steadfastly refused, insisting that she had every intention of sleeping through most of the journey.  He is well aware she has no desire to make conversation with Tom, so is sympathetic to her having to bear such a tiresome trip, but complies with her request.

Charlotte has written to her parents to advise that the wedding date has been set and the banns have been read for the first time.  Sidney admits that although he is not a regular church-goer, attendance at the service on Sunday had not been the ordeal he had feared.  Reverend Hankins had seemed a little subdued in his sermon and there had been no mention of blossoms or toiling, Charlotte’s stories of which had left him somewhat horrified at the reverend’s implications.

Sidney has enjoyed the journey so far, unable to recall ever having such an amusing and enjoyable time in the company of Diana and Arthur, and more especially, Georgiana. In the past few minutes the conversation has ceased, however, the three companions sitting opposite succumbing to sudden weariness.  He looks out the window for a short while as all has become quiet.  Glancing across he sees that Georgiana has fallen asleep against the wall of the carriage, Diana now has her head resting on Arthur’s shoulder and although his eyes are also closed, Arthur is sitting very erect as if seeking to support his sister.

Sidney senses that the woman by his side is watching him. He turns to her, his heart warming as he looks into her wide brown eyes reflecting his own feelings of love and admiration.  He gently squeezes the hand he has been holding since leaving Sanditon.

“What is it, love?” he asks.

“Oh, I am simply thinking how much more pleasant this journey is than the only other one I have ever taken from Sanditon to London,” she replies.

“Better company this time I hope?”

“Much better!” she declares with a smile, “I spent that whole time huddled against the wall of the coach, a stranger to the other travellers, lost in my fears and guilt.”

“I am sorry Charlotte,” Sidney says with genuine sympathy.

“This time I am with people I love, and seated next to ... next ... err ...” she says, her thoughts difficult to express.  It has been easy to describe him as handsome, but to speak of his attributes other than his striking facial features is now making her uneasy.

Sidney is confused by her apparent awkwardness and wonders what it might be that she is unable to articulate.

“Err?” he asks, amused, prompting her with a bump of his shoulder against hers, “Err? I don't understand your meaning.”

“Well, Sidney ... you are such a handsome man,” she says shyly, unsure how to continue.  She suddenly feels quite awkward trying to express her admiration.  “And your attire ... it fits so fine ...and enhances your bearing.  Not that your attire is that important,” she hurries on, trying to explain, “as you would appear just as well without it –”

“Miss Heywood!” he exclaims, putting his free hand to his chest, feigning shock while attempting to hide his amusement at her stumbling attempt to compliment him.

Charlotte gasps at the unintended implication of her own words, but then stammers as she tries to find her way out of this self-imposed awkwardness.  “I did not mean it that way ... not the way you were when... when ... oh-h, I am just making this worse,” Charlotte squeaks out, unable to express her thoughts in a more proper way.  A flush comes to her face, and Sidney realises with amusement that she is now thinking – as he is – of that potentially scandalous meeting at the cove.  He is surprised that she is now embarrassed, after they had come to an understanding on it several days ago, but he assumes her awkwardness is possibly due to the fact they are not alone, and made even worse that their companions are his siblings.

Sidney glances across to see Georgiana and Diana very much lost in the world of slumber, but although Arthur’s eyes are closed there is a slight twitch, and the rising of a smile to one side of his lips.  Sidney knows Arthur has heard every word.

“Charlotte,” he says softly, “I should dearly love to continue this conversation, but at a time when we are without travelling companions if you don’t mind?”

Charlotte looks across the carriage.  “Oh but they are all asleep,” she says a little insecurely, hoping she is not mistaken.

“Ah, no,” Sidney replies, “we have an audience.  I believe my brother is an avid listener, Charlotte.  But I’m confident he can be persuaded to keep the content of this conversation to himself.”  He turns to Arthur with a slight smile, “Is that not right Arthur?” he asks.

Grinning broadly now, Arthur opens one eye and directs his reply to Charlotte, “Your discussion delights me, Charlotte, but it is safe to say that I will divulge nothing.  I am unsure in any case, of what you might be referring to.  I am simply happy to see Sidney has found the true love of his life, and I am delighted that it is you who holds the key to his heart.”

Charlotte is lost for words, afraid that if she does speak she will make her embarrassing situation worse.  Sidney and Arthur share a chuckle, as Charlotte looks apologetically up to Sidney and whispers, “l am so sorry!”

“Don’t be,” he whispers, leaning in to her ear, “I will happily continue our discussion as soon as we have the chance to be alone!”  He kisses her cheek, and drawing back, squeezes her hand again.  “You look a little tired yourself,” he adds softly, now feeling guilty for the teasing, “lean on me if you wish, and get a little rest.”

Charlotte stares at him for a moment, unsure whether to make an attempt to dissuade him from returning to this subject at a later time.  Deciding against it she happily leans her head into his shoulder and with his arm comfortably around her is soon rocked to sleep as the carriage continues through the outer parts of the city.  Sidney looks out the window again, this time thinking of what a wonderful turn his life has taken.  The lady he most loves and admires is at his side.  All’s well in the world of Sidney Parker.

*  *  *

Susan looks round the table, appreciating this group of friends that has brought new purpose to her life.  It is especially gratifying to see that her determination to reunite her dear friend Charlotte with the besotted man who had obviously stolen her heart has prevailed.  Aware that she would not have been able to achieve this without the help of those gathered here, she nevertheless feels a quiet pride in having been the one to draw them all together, and it is even more satisfying now to have commenced a wonderful new friendship with Charlotte’s parents. 

Susan will always remember fondly the delighted surprise on the faces of not only Charlotte, but also Sidney, arriving here to discover Mr and Mrs Heywood waiting to greet them.  Susan is exceptionally pleased that she has managed to convince Mr Heywood to make the journey, not that he could have refused, surely, when she had turned up at his very door with her summons to return to London with her and spend a night at her home, to attend this celebration of his daughter’s betrothal.  Although he is adamant that he and his wife must return to Willingden tomorrow, they have both relaxed within a very short time of their arrival, and are enjoying this dinner immensely, accepted by the other guests as if they are already firm friends.  Susan has taken an immediate liking to this couple, and recognises their qualities in Charlotte.  She resolves that this friendship will endure.

There is only one person not engaging in the enjoyment of the evening.  Susan notices that Tom Parker’s behaviour is very different tonight from what she has seen in the past; rather than taking the floor and spouting his usual nonsense seeking to be the centre of attention, he has barely uttered a word.  Others in the group are having a marvellous time, sharing in the happy, relaxed conversation that indicates genuine friendship.  At another time she might try to draw Tom into the conversation, and indeed have him admit that Sidney is following his own dreams and rightly so, but she chooses to allow him to wallow in his own self pity and to see his wife enjoy this evening, free of the devastation he brought upon his family, especially his younger brother.  No, let him stew, men like Tom Parker take a lifetime to see the error of their selfish exploitation of others, so why ruin Charlotte’s and Sidney’s wonderful evening?

With completion of the celebration dinner, the party has moved from the dining room and there is much milling about, with guests reluctant to depart.  Susan takes the opportunity to draw Lord Babington and Mr Crowe aside, to discuss the situation regarding Mrs Campion.

“I have my people keeping a constant watch on our fair widow,” she advises them confidentially.

“Excellent,” Crowe declares, “and what is our fair widow up to?”

“That is the interesting thing!” Susan says, “She has not left her house, since Sidney visited her to break the engagement.”

“Really?” Babington asks in surprise, “I should have thought she would be out and about, trying her best to clear herself of any blame, and ensure Sidney is seen as the worst kind of cad!”

“I am as surprised as you,” Susan replies, “but be sure of this, I will not lower my guard.  She is up to some nefarious behaviour, of that I am certain.  I think she may be investigating Sidney’s creditworthiness.”

“Oh, yes, about that,” Crowe says, “I want to tell you, I have heard a rumour that someone has been asking questions of the bankers about Sidney’s borrowings, trying to cleverly fool them into thinking he is considering lending him money, but this chap’s apparently someone they know to have no capability of doing such a thing.”

“This will be the man we have seen visiting Mrs Campion at her home.  I am having a little work done to discover just who this gentleman is and what his association might be with Mrs C.  I shall keep you informed.”

“Thank you Susan, we are grateful,” Babington says, as Crowe nods his agreement.  “It’s clear Sidney is a different man now that Charlotte is by his side.  We must protect them from this woman’s machinations.”

“Do not worry," Susan replies, "should she so much as sneeze, I will be advised of it.  They will be safe.  I guarantee it.”

Meanwhile Mrs Heywood and Charlotte have joined with the other ladies to discuss the wedding plans, so Sidney approaches Mr Heywood, and they are quickly absorbed in relaxed conversation.  Mr Heywood soon speaks of a matter that has concerned him since Charlotte and Sidney visited Willingden with their news.

“Sidney, the banns are already being read, and we have not discussed the dowry for Charlotte.  We should arrange a meeting.”

“Ah, well.  There is no need for such discussion.  I have no wish for control over any dowry Mr Heywood.  Whatever you mean to provide will be Charlotte’s to do with as she pleases.”

“Are you sure son?” Mr Heywood asks, unable to hide his surprise.

“Absolutely.  We’ve not yet spoken about my own wealth either.  I’m happy to meet to discuss that at any time that suits you.  Or I could show you round my business tomorrow should you have the time ...”   

“Unfortunately, we need to return as soon as we are able, as the older children are taking charge while we’re in London, and while we know they’re highly capable we don’t wish to leave too much on their shoulders for too long.”

“Of course, I understand.  Another time, but I am happy to visit Willingden when time permits.”

“Sidney, if you are concerned that I should doubt your ability to care for our Charlotte, please do not be.  I have every confidence that you can provide for her.  You are destined for a very successful future together.”

“Thank you.  As a matter of fact, Charlotte will join me as my partner in the business, when it suits her to do so.  She is looking forward to it.  We both are.  Her capabilities are remarkable.  She will bring much value to it.”

Considerably surprised, and delighted, Mr Heywood replies, “It is pleasing to see that her intelligence and aptitude are so respected.  Thank you son.”

All too soon it is time to leave the party and the guests take some time moving about, to bid farewell to one another.  Embracing her mother Charlotte promises an early arrival in the morning, looking forward excitedly now to having her mother present for at least part of her appointment with the modiste.  She and Sidney wait, to wish their final goodbye for the evening to Susan, thanking her most sincerely for providing this truly memorable evening.

Upon their return to Bedford Place Otis spends a short time with Georgiana while Charlotte and Sidney move to sit by the fire to share their thoughts on this magnificent evening.  The others of the party are retiring for the night, Mary having chosen a room as far as possible from Tom’s. Otis soon takes his leave and Georgiana also heads for her room.

“Now,” Sidney says quietly to Charlotte as he moves closer, “what was it exactly that you were saying in the carriage this morning?”

“Oh,” she says, already feeling a flush to her cheeks again, “I don’t rightly remember.  I am afraid I was a little too forward anyway.”

“Hmm, a pity that,” he says, tenderly touching his forehead to hers, “I didn’t have that impression.  In fact, I think knowing what you do about me, you could have been far more enlightening. It was such a disappointment that Arthur was witness to our conversation.  I was intrigued to hear what you might say next.”

“You are speaking again of the meeting at the cove!” she exclaims with an embarrassed giggle.

“Do you mean to tell me that you were not thinking of that as you spoke of my ‘bearing’, and how I might look without my attire? What more did you have in mind?”

“You misunderstood!  At least, I did not explain my thoughts as I meant them ... I really must not say, not here.  It is all too much against propriety...”

“Ah, yes, propriety of course.  But we don’t feel embarrassed about the cove any more do we?  I thought we were clear on that?”

“We were.  We are.  But I was speaking out of turn in the carriage ... I believe I should leave such talk until we are wed.  I have become uncomfortable about it now,” she replies.    

Amused by her embarrassment but not wanting to make her feel worse, Sidney takes her hand.

“Charlotte, it’s alright my love, we can postpone the conversation. It will be all the more enjoyable for the wait. Now, it's been a very full day, and tonight’s event has been wonderful, but it’s late and we need to rest.  We’ll have to rise early for our busy day tomorrow.”

Much as she would prefer to continue talking together by the fire, a little weariness has crept in after such a long day and Charlotte agrees it is wise to retire.  She is thinking with some excitement now, of the appointment with the modiste, and wonders what styles she will find appealing for her wedding dress, and other accompanying garments.  She is especially happy that her Mama will be there for at least part of the appointment.  What a lovely thing for Susan to do!  And oh what a surprise that Papa has acquiesced!  Their presence tonight has made the evening perfect, and assures her of their acceptance of Sidney into the family.

After a brief kiss and a gentle embrace at the top of the stairs, Sidney and Charlotte part company, happy in the knowledge that their much anticipated wedding is coming ever closer.

Chapter Text

During these last days of summer there is much to keep the available members of the Parker household busy.  Arthur and Diana have even begun to visit daily, excited with the idea that they can assist in making the upcoming wedding day simply perfect.  Their contribution is only small, but it gives them great satisfaction to have a say, even if only by way of giving unproven health advice.  With the exception of Tom, whose suggestion that Sidney secure a room at the Crown has brought fire down upon his head through Mary’s irate demand that he stay out of their personal concerns, there is not a person in the house – or indeed Sanditon itself – uneasy about what Sidney and Charlotte spend time doing in each other’s company without a chaperone. Diana has even put into words the generally held belief that they have suffered much and they deserve this happiness.

Charlotte still feels a little guilty that so much effort and expense has gone into the choosing and preparation of her gowns and other items for not only the wedding day, but also the coming months.  With no firm decision made yet for their bridal tour, Sidney had simply advised Susan to let her choose whatever should take her fancy.  Susan has been the perfect advisor, and Charlotte is both grateful and excited for what lies ahead, eager to wear the beautiful designs and colours that are now being prepared for her wardrobe.  She smiles at the memory of her dear Mama’s reaction to the number of items considered necessary for a successful introduction to London society, but she knows that although shocked at the extravagance, her Mama is really quite impressed, and pleased for her. 

During the morning with the modiste, Charlotte had expressed the view that she would dearly love for Alison to attend her with Esther on the wedding day, so of course, Susan had sprung into action to arrange for Alison to have a special dress made for the occasion.  Charlotte had immediately written a letter which had been taken by her Mama for personal delivery to her sister, with all knowing Alison would be delighted.

Since the celebration dinner with Susan, Charlotte has received letters from both her mother and her sister; Alison expressing her delight and anticipation, and Mrs Heywood advising that certain tenants will manage the farm while the Heywood family takes a few days in Sanditon prior to the wedding.  Without delay, Sidney has secured accommodation for them, and Charlotte is excited that she will have an opportunity to show them the place she has come to regard as home. 

It is evident in Mrs Heywood’s correspondence that she has complete trust in Sidney’s love for Charlotte and considers him a perfect gentleman. Her opinion is not simply a result of seeing them together in Willingden and recognising the admiration they share.  After their visit to the Heywood farm, where Sidney had opened his heart and confessed all to Mr Heywood, Charlotte’s parents had taken time together to discuss all the details of this astonishing story and agreed that their daughter had found a truly perfect love match.  This was further proven when they observed Sidney’s attention to Charlotte at Susan’s party.

With the banns now read for the second time, the wedding is less than two weeks away.  Sidney will make another business trip to London later this week, and suggests hopefully to Charlotte that she accompany him, but she is mindful of the risk of being noticed in the city, so regretfully declines.  While he is disappointed, Sidney admires her for her sensible decision. 

As Sidney and Charlotte have made it clear that they want nothing ‘elaborate’ for their special day, Mary is planning accordingly, consulting with them on every aspect of the wedding breakfast and ensuring that the day will be perfect.  When Charlotte suggests that she should be more involved with her own preparations, Mary insists that this is her opportunity to repay at least a little of Charlotte’s kindness. Amusing all, Lady Denham insists on being informed of progress at all times, to the point where  others jest that she believes it is her intervention that has brought the bride and groom together. 

By chance, the old Parker residence on the outskirts of the town has become vacant.  Knowing that Charlotte much prefers Sanditon over London, Sidney invites her to look through the property, with the idea that perhaps they might make it their home, using Bedford Place only when business requires their presence in London.  Recalling Mary’s wistful countenance when she spoke of once living in the Parker house before Tom had decided to move into town, Charlotte happily agrees to Sidney’s suggestion. 

Moving through the rooms of the old house with Sidney reminiscing about his childhood there, Charlotte finds herself entranced with it.  There are many aspects of the old home that can be repaired or renovated, and Charlotte finds it exciting to think of what they can achieve to make this place their own.  They enter the main bedroom, Sidney leading her to an impressive floor-to-ceiling window. Charlotte is amazed by the truly captivating view of the sea.  He stands behind her, hands resting lightly on her shoulders, chuckling softly at her gasp of admiration.

“You like this Charlotte?” Sidney asks hopefully.

“It is absolutely delightful!” she replies, “Such a magnificent view!  This would be our bedroom?”

“Yes.”

“I love this! Sidney, it is perfect!”

Resting his chin on her head and wrapping his arms round her waist, he happily declares, “I agree.  Let’s make it ours!”

Their decision made, they happily return to town to arrange the setting up for their living at the house.  Unfortunately it will mean having to speak with Tom, but he has no fear that Tom will refuse him, as he can benefit from Sidney’s attention to necessary repairs on the property.  Commencing immediately they will add their own touches to it, by way of renovation and decoration.  Charlotte is surprised at the enjoyment she finds in the very idea of this domestic activity, and is delighted that Sidney wants to accompany her with the choosing and purchasing of new items.

Spending these days together, Charlotte finds that Sidney is eager to hear her stories of growing up on the farm, and she is happy that he wants to share his childhood tales with her. They are learning much about each other, and she thinks back to that glorious day on the beach, and his initial request that she allow him to court her.  While she had resisted, confused and feeling there was no need, she now sees that there is much to gain from his courting her and realises that he is doing precisely that.

Sometimes, Sidney speaks of the more difficult memories that have plagued him since his first foray into London society.  For many years he has considered his activities as a broken hearted youth to be sordid and shameful, but in opening his heart to Charlotte he is grateful to find a compassionate listener. At times he is surprised by this need to speak of his past. He marvels at her acceptance of this imperfect man struggling to be his best, never judging him but loving him for his honesty.  She gently reassures him that he has no reason to be plagued by guilt, and encourages him to find peace in his own heart. 

They are both surprised – and delighted - that these weeks of anticipation seem to be rushing by.

*  *  *

Eliza has sent for Mr Simpson.  He arrives, and reports that there is still no sign of Sidney Parker seeking financial help from anyone in London. It seems that the elusive Mr Sidney Parker has only made two business trips to London during the past three weeks, and has spent little more than a day there on each occasion. On the most recent of these, just yesterday he had travelled alone, but on the other, a week ago he was accompanied by several members of the Parker family and others who were not known to Simpson's informants.  He has also discovered that nobody has been socialising with Parker as he arrives late in the evening, conducts his business early the next day and apparently returns immediately to Sanditon. In fact, the time of his departure cannot be accurately reported as it has not been witnessed on either occasion.   

Eliza is perplexed.  She is exceedingly annoyed that Sidney Parker is spending so much time in Sanditon where he will be socialising with that Heywood girl, and jealousy is driving her to distraction.  What if he has commenced a courtship, or even done the unthinkable and proposed marriage to her, this ungroomed village upstart?

It is now a point of agitation for Eliza, that Sidney may have managed to find a source of finance she has overlooked in her attempts to frustrate his efforts. She tries to discuss this with Mr Simpson, but he is not wise to any such connection. However, one piece of news she finds particularly upsetting is that on the occasion that the Parkers all came to London, they did indeed host several other people overnight at Bedford Place, including Mr. Sidney Parker’s ward from Antigua, Miss Georgiana Lambe.  All were observed attending Lady Worcester’s residence for a lengthy evening of dining and entertainment.  Mr. Simpson is unable to inform whether a certain Miss Heywood was in their company, but he considers it was possible, as they made quite a large party with Lord and Lady Babington and Mr. Crowe also in attendance. The idea of the Parker family even being amongst Lady Worcester’s guests at any event causes her to feel nauseous in the extreme.

“There must be some fairy godmother somewhere!” she exclaims in frustration. “Why have you not discovered who this is?  This has gone on for far too long!”

“I am sorry, Mrs Campion,” Mr Simpson replies, “but there is simply no information on what Sidney Parker does in his comings and goings.  All I have been able to gather from my investigations is that he is in good spirits when in London, has made only one very short visit to his usual bank, is not interested in visiting the gentlemen’s clubs, and simply conducts his business before disappearing back to the seaside town.”

Eliza does not like what she is hearing.  She has been certain that she would regain control in her relationship with Sidney, convinced that he would have to return to beg from her a large helping of humble pie, but it seems he has thwarted her ambition after all.  She wonders now if she badly misread the situation on the day he broke their engagement.  He had appeared to have no concrete plan for obtaining the money, but perhaps he had played her, far more effectively than she could ever imagine.  Perhaps he had already put all his plans in place, and had turned the tables on her while she had not suspected a thing.

“Tom Parker’s creditors would not be holding out this long for their payments from him!” she says irritably, “Find out what is going on! Ask questions! And bring me the answers immediately!  It’s time to bring Mr Sidney Parker to heel!”

*  *  *

Sidney has had a productive business visit to London, and is hopeful that this is the last trip away he will have to make before the wedding.  He is anxious to get back to Sanditon this morning, to see Charlotte and talk of what she has been doing in his absence, share thoughts on what they yet have to do at the old Parker house and simply enjoy spending time with her. He is especially happy that he carries with him his mother’s wedding ring, which he has had cleaned and polished, and delivered to Bedford Place, rather than risk being seen entering the jewellery store. The ring now resides with his precious letter, close to his heart. Eager to surprise Charlotte with it on their special day, he knows that she will appreciate the sentiment attached to it for him.

As the carriage approaches Sanditon on the cliff road, Sidney alights at a place pre-arranged with the driver, to walk the short distance to the Parker house.  Anticipating Charlotte will be working there on some renovation task, he is not disappointed.  As he enters the house he can hear her humming, and his heart skips as he recognises the melody from the London ball.  Arriving at the door of the main bedroom, he sees his beloved Charlotte applying sheets to the bed.  Thoughts of his words at the first ball, months ago, come flooding in.  How different this woman has proved to be from the privileged piano playing girl he had assumed.  Here she is, doing all the most practical things to make this house a loving home. 

“Would you like some help with your task?” he asks, smiling his crooked smile.

Charlotte turns about, drops the sheets on the bed and runs to him, exclaiming, “Sidney!  Oh I have missed you!”

“And I you!” he replies, taking her in his arms for a firm embrace, “you are a sight for a weary man’s eyes!  But we must employ a maid my love, without delay.  You shouldn't be doing all this work!”

“I am perfectly capable,” she retorts.

“I know that only too well, but I want you to have time to do other things that you enjoy,” he says, “especially now as we lead up to the wedding.  Let’s look for staff to do these everyday tasks.  We'll have other things to take up our time.”

“I think you are being cheeky Mr Parker, but I do like the idea of having time to ourselves.”

“Good,” he says with a devilish smile, “and now, I’ll help you with this, and perhaps that will do for today.”

Having a little fun flapping the sheets about, they finally complete the task of making up the bed. Then, locking the house they head into Sanditon.  As they walk Sidney asks if anything of note has happened in his short absence.  He is particularly concerned for Mary and wonders what Tom has been doing with his days of late, having not seen him since the party with Susan, except for a brief discussion when he advised him that he and Charlotte would be living in the old Parker house.

“Do you know if Tom has made a decision on the position offered by the committee?” he asks.

“I don’t think so, but he has not spoken to me.  As a matter of fact, I’ve not seen him while you were away, and Mary has not mentioned it. He spends much time in the study, but even then, it's usually when he knows we are away from the house.”

“He fails to see the gift he is being offered,” he says pensively, “and I am concerned.  His lack of perception is creating problems for Mary.  He irritates me exceedingly, Charlotte ... do you think I ‘m being too harsh?”

“No.  I do not, and I fear for Mary,” Charlotte replies.

“As do I,” he says quietly. 

They walk in silence now, her hand slipped in behind his elbow.  As they enter Trafalgar House they are alerted to Mary’s voice, loud and angry, emanating from the study.

“Oh no," Sidney groans, "what’s this about?”

“I have no idea,” Charlotte replies frowning at the possibilities, “but I’ve no doubt Tom has done something we’d rather not know about.”

Chapter Text

Sidney and Charlotte quickly remove their hats and coats, Sidney taking Charlotte’s hand as he turns to move towards the study.  Charlotte, however, tugs back on his hand, reluctant to go forward. 

“Do you not think that perhaps this is not our concern?” she asks hesitantly.

“I think Mary needs us, love.”

“Oh.  Of course, alright then.”

They enter the study to see Mary, a paper – seemingly a letter – in her hand, shaking it at Tom’s face as she shouts, “How did you think you could possibly go ahead with this?  Have you no integrity? Have you no respect for the people who have supported you through this hell you created, a hell this woman made unspeakably worse?”

Tom is standing with arms spread, as if waiting for Mary’s tirade to cease, before he can explain as if to a child, what she appears to misunderstand.  She continues, disgust and disappointment in her tone.

“Lady Denham was right.  You are a despicable man!”

“Mary, you do not understand –”

“Oh I understand.  I understand perfectly!  You are a selfish, dishonest man Tom Parker.  Selfish!  Dishonest!  Despicable!”  Her voice breaks on the final word. Turning her back to her husband she notices Sidney and Charlotte in the doorway, still as statues, confusion and concern marking their faces.  Sidney has one hand against his chest, as if protecting his own precious letter, while the other hand holds fast to one of Charlotte’s.  Mary walks to them and holds out the paper in her hand.

“Look!”  she exclaims.  “This is what your brother has been whiling away his hours on.  How he expected we would not discover his treachery I will never know!”

Sidney is still holding Charlotte’s hand.  Mary’s words have his mind whirling.  Tom has done something unspeakable, and Sidney knows without being told that the woman Mary has spoken of is Eliza Campion.  With his free hand he takes the paper from Mary.  He sees immediately that it is an unfinished letter, in Tom’s hand.  As he reads, his body stiffens, and his grip on Charlotte’s hand tightens, until she feels pain. 

“What is it?” she asks.

“Read it,” he replies, handing the letter to her. “He’s betrayed us.”

Charlotte takes the letter, and hesitantly begins to read ...

Dear Mrs Campion – dear Eliza,

I have no doubt you will be surprised to hear from me.  I hope this letter finds you in good health. I also wish to express my sincere disappointment that things have not happened as we both thought fit, for you and my brother Sidney.  Indeed, I fear that the action he has taken he will come to regret, but his stubbornness is such that once he has made up his mind it becomes impossible for others to have him see sense.

I wish to put a proposition to you, Eliza; one that requires no participation from Sidney, is guaranteed of success, and which I am sure you will be most excited to support.  I have been busy these past weeks, drawing up plans for provision of new and improved apartments in Sanditon to replace those unfortunately destroyed in the fire.  With this letter I shall enclose copies of these plans for your perusal and consideration.  The costing for the entire project can be made available to you upon your request.  I can of course come to London at your convenience to discuss all aspects of the project in detail.

It is imperative that this project should advance without delay as there are moves afoot by others to create a 

It is clear Tom has been interrupted at this point.  Charlotte is horrified.  All at once she feels a burning sensation in her throat, a nauseous rumbling in her stomach and a sting to her eyes from the threat of tears.  Tom has not mentioned her name in this letter, but has made his feelings clear.  He might as well have said she is responsible for the broken engagement, but this is not what troubles her most of what he has written.  He has spoken so ill of Sidney.  This is appalling.

Charlotte looks up to Sidney’s angry face, her eyes brimming with tears.  His expression changes, as he tries to imagine what she is thinking.  He feels her hurt.  Reaching his fingers to her cheeks he tenderly wipes away the tears now spilling onto them.  Holding her gaze he speaks softly, leaving her no room for doubt.

“Charlotte.  Charlotte.  I love you.  Whatever his words are meant to imply, Tom Parker could not be more wrong.”  He moves his hands to gently frame her face.  “And I will never, never regret the action I took to rid my life of that woman, and give my heart to you.  Never!”

“Sidney, my dearest love, please, it is not what Tom has implied about me.  It is what he has said about you.  He has no right.  We all know what this woman was willing to do –”

“Yes!” Mary says sharply, turning back to rush at Tom, “Tom, tell me this, why did you spurn the offer from the committee at last week’s meeting?  Why did I find you writing this disgusting letter to the woman who you know was happy to see you go to prison if Sidney did not agree to her plan?  What is it about her that has you behaving like a fool?  Why does your conceited need for fame and fortune have to come before all else?  Why does your family always have to be last?”

Her voice falters on the final question.  Tom is silent.  Sidney is holding Charlotte as if to gain from her strength, as he looks with loathing at his brother.

“Yes Tom, I too would like answers to those questions,” he says, his tone bordering on hatred.

“You know Sidney,” Tom replies, waving his hands about, “you know she holds the key to our fortune, and to your happiness.  You say you no longer love her but that is impossible, she is –”

Before Tom can say more, Sidney has released Charlotte to stride swiftly across the room, grasping Tom by the front of his shirt.  Tom gasps, but makes a feeble attempt to appear unmoved as Sidney’s hands tighten their grip on the material, reeling Tom in close enough for their faces to be almost touching.

“Enough!” Sidney says harshly, “You are a fool, Tom. You sought my advice, but then ignored it.  I suggested you try living within your means, but you failed to listen.  I said you must do whatever it takes to be the man Mary deserves.  You did not.  Added to that, having been forced to admit your monstrous debt after the fire, I've discovered you've stealthily sought more credit knowing you could not hope to find the means to pay it back. I told you that I cannot own your mistakes, but you used your guile to convince me that I had to bail you out for them.  And not least of all, Charlotte deserves your eternal gratitude, but you have treated her with total disrespect.  Mary is right.  Lady Denham was right.  You are a despicable man!”

Sidney shoves Tom back as he releases his shirt, then turns away in disgust.  Tom seizes the moment while Sidney’s back is turned, to accuse him, “You forget Sidney!  I made a man of you.”

“You what?” Sidney snarls as he spins back to face him.

“You were a drunken failure, fit only for the streets,” Tom shouts. “I sobered you up.  I sent you to Antigua to face your mistakes, and make your fortune!  I made a man of you!”

Sidney moves again towards Tom, bunching his fists but holding his arms straight and tight against the sides of his body.

“Do not flatter yourself Tom,” he says, his voice a low growl, “You had no part in what I became in Antigua.  I did it without you. You put me on a ship and sent me away, a sorry youth, deeply afraid, vulnerable to thugs and thieves.  Georgiana's father is the one who allowed me to become a man.  He asked nothing of me.  He treated me with respect and kindness.  He showed me what it is to be a man of integrity, something I doubt you will ever understand.”

Mary moves to stand beside Sidney.

“Tell us Tom, the truth,” she says, “why did you send Sidney away?  It was not to have him mature – he was a boy, a lost and lonely boy and you threw him to the wolves.  You wanted him out of the way for your own position in society to be undamaged.   It was not to make a man of him.  It was to spare yourself the scandal.  Be honest with yourself.  You turned a deaf ear to a young man’s cry for help.  You were responsible Tom, you were the older brother.  You had the means to help him recover his self regard.  Do not dare to tell us now that you helped in any way to make him a man!  A stranger did what you would not."

Tom stands staring at his wife, but says nothing.  Sidney takes a step towards him and asks, “While we’re seeking truth from you Tom, perhaps you can tell me this?  At the London rout, did you cut in on my dancing with Charlotte to steer me to Eliza Campion?”

“What?” Tom asks loudly, looking cornered and defensive, as Charlotte gasps at this thought, something she has never before considered.

“At the rout, Tom, you knew Eliza Campion was there before you cut in, did you not?  She was watching my dance with Charlotte, she told me so.  You knew.  If you watched me dancing with Charlotte, you would have seen how I felt.  I could not hide it.  You maneuvered, did you not, to remove Charlotte and allow Mrs Campion to gain my attention?  Perhaps you even knew she would be there before we ever walked in the door.”

“No!” Tom shouts.

"Why should I believe you?"

“I would never deceive my brother,” Tom splutters.

Sidney walks over to Charlotte, reaching for the letter.  When she hands it to him, he walks back to Tom, holding it close to his face as he says coldly, “Read this Tom, and then tell me again, to my face, that you would never deceive me.”

Tom looks away and down to the floor.

“You need to try harder Tom.  We can see through your lies.”

Sidney tosses the letter onto the desk.  Mary picks it up, tearing it straight down the centre and places it back, then picks up the drawings Tom had intended to send to Eliza.  She folds them to half their size, tears them in the same way that she has the letter, then gathers all the pieces and walks to the fire, flinging them into the flames all at once.  Tom gasps with shock, and begins to rush towards the fireplace, but Sidney steps into his path, grabbing his upper arms.

“Leave it Tom,” he says, “you cannot retrieve them.  It’s too late.  Mary has sent them to where they belong.”

“So many things, Tom,” Mary says bitterly, “so many ways you have disappointed me.  For so long I have tried to forgive your prideful mistakes.  I regret that in doing so I have hurt others who deserved far better.”  Her shoulders slump and she adds, as if resigned to something she cannot change, “You are a weak and dishonest man.”

“No, Mary –”

“You are weak,” she repeats, as if he has not spoken, “How many times have you made promises Tom, only to break them?  You bought me pearls, to butter me up, with money you owed the workers.  You lied to me, said that all was well as Sidney had found success with the banks!  At the midsummer ball, when Edward Denham caused his scene, you ran away.”

“Ran away?  I did not run –”

“Tom, please,” she interrupts, “no more lies.  I saw you.  I watched you scurry off to hide, behind the curtain by the balcony stairs.  Only when Sidney and Lord Babington took Edward from the room, did you come back out, to show what a presence you were.  You were the master of ceremonies, but you ran away from your duty.”

“But Lady Denham asked Sidney to do it!”

“Yes,” she responds, her voice rising again, “because you were nowhere to be found!  For heaven’s sake Tom, admit your mistakes!  Admit that you ignored Sidney’s growing attachment to Charlotte.  Admit that you took credit for Charlotte’s work on the regatta ... and please, have the decency to admit that you blithely made promises to the workers that you knew you could not keep!”

Tom turns away, knowing he has no answer to Mary’s accusations.  He shifts his attention to Sidney, seeking now to excuse his own failures and place blame elsewhere for this most recent abhorrent behaviour.

“You insisted, Sidney that I have to manage the project properly.  I have been trying to do that, but you turned on me.  You played me false, at the meeting with that committee you drew together –”

“Do not try to guilt me Tom,” Sidney rebuts firmly, “I did not form that committee.  The people who did have tried to save you, from your own financial collapse.  You owe them your freedom, and yet you spurn their kindness.”

“But you did not give me the chance to manage the rebuilding!”

“I watched you Tom, in the week following my explanation of my break with Mrs Campion and my engagement to Charlotte.  You did nothing to make amends for your failures.  You sat around making your silly drawings, and now we find you were making your own plans, to conspire with a woman who despises you.  Nor does she care for Sanditon.  Nothing would please her more than to be told your resort has washed into the sea!  She had no qualms telling me that she would only help you if I married her.”

“You should have humoured her, Sidney –”

Keeping rein on his temper, trying to suppress his rage on Charlotte’s behalf, Sidney interrupts loudly, “Do you not see that woman does not care a fig for your welfare?  She would be happy to ruin you Tom, to spite me!  You are a fool to think otherwise.”

“You cannot think this of her Sidney!  You have loved her for ten years!”

Sidney looks to Charlotte, mortified by his brother’s insensitivity and disrespect.  Charlotte walks towards him, reaching for his hands.  As they stand close she looks up to him, her dark eyes soft with admiration.  She is not concerned with Tom’s foolish declaration.  She cares only that Sidney is assured of her love.  At once, he is calm, knowing she has not believed a word Tom has said.  He takes a long breath, and raises her fingers to his lips, closing his eyes as he kisses them, lingering for just a moment, again drawing on her strength.  He opens his eyes again, looking at her with love and gratitude, and then turns back to Tom.

“But then, Tom you are unscrupulous, as is she.  Perhaps as business partners you deserve each other.  You most assuredly do not deserve the commitment of others who are genuinely trying to help you.  You are dishonest in your dealings!  You cannot look me in the eye and tell me the truth!”   

Tom begins to stammer a rebuttal, but Mary steps forward to interrupt.

“Take whatever things of yours that you need, Tom, and leave this house.  Now.”

“But Mary, this is my home.  I need you.  You are my strength,” Tom splutters.

“I once believed that, but no longer.  Just go Tom.”

“Mary please –”

“Tom," she says interrupting his plea, "I do not care where you go, or what you do.  Do not darken the door of this house again.  You are not the man you think we see.  If you wish to become that man, you must look into your own conscience.  Do it honestly.  As to what you want of us, this is not simply another of the many chances you continue to expect from us.  There are no more chances Tom.  Go away.”

Tom stands open mouthed, staring at Mary.  All are waiting for him to leave, but he is unable to move a muscle.  Sidney steps aside, holding his arm out towards the door, indicating that Tom must comply with Mary’s command.  Finally, he looks round the room, and then down to the desk, but finds nothing there that he should be taking away.  He looks to the fire, where the papers have rapidly burned to ash.  His shoulders droop as he realises the finality of Mary’s words.  He cannot take it in, that she is evicting him, from his home, from her life, and from their family.  He looks forlornly over to her, meeting her eyes directly, hoping to find some small shred of sympathy there, but sees only disappointment, angry judgement and firm resolve.  Bowing his head, he avoids Charlotte’s unsympathetic stare and walks slowly to the door.  He turns, looking at Sidney with a sudden new contempt.

“This is your doing brother.  I will not forget.” 

He turns away, and leaves the room.  Mary bursts into tears.  Charlotte hurries to her side, embracing her as she sobs uncontrollably.  Sidney joins them, placing his arms gently round the two most important women in his life.  He is furious with Tom, but makes a determined effort to put that aside for now.  He knows he must find ways to fill the lonely space that has been so evident in Mary’s and the children’s lives.  Tom has neglected them for far too long.  What a blessing he has Charlotte to help him with this.  Mary and the children love her.  Together, he and Charlotte will make sure that they will be alright.

“What can I do Mary?” Charlotte asks, as they draw away from the embrace. Mary shakes her head a little and wipes her eyes with the backs of her hands.

“Are you alright Mary?” Sidney asks.

“I am better than I have been in years,” she replies, “yes I am upset, but only because I have failed you and Charlotte.  I should have confronted Tom years ago.”

“You have not failed us Mary,” Charlotte says quietly, “you have had a great deal to endure.”

“Well, the children deserve a father who considers them before bricks and mortar,” Mary says, accepting a handkerchief from Sidney, “but how are you Sidney?”

“Cut ... to the bone,” he replies quietly, “I see my past before me, all my own mistakes, and the many times I too should have confronted him, but to be honest, I should not be surprised.  It is Charlotte who has suffered because of his treatment of me.  I allowed myself to be drawn unwittingly into his dishonesty.  I needed to see all of this, to know, his delusions of grandeur are beyond me.  I cannot help him.”

“No,” Mary replies, “none of us can.   He must now help himself.  Until he does, until he accepts that the efforts of others have kept him safe and free, and until he becomes the man I wish to see in this house, giving something of himself, especially to the children, I wash my hands of him.”  She takes Sidney’s hand as she adds sadly, “I am sorry Sidney, to speak so about your brother.”

“No Mary.  That man is not my brother, and I feel no obligation to try to make it so.  As you say, he must change.  Then, we shall see.”

Chapter Text

Things have been very quiet at Trafalgar House in the days since the Parker family storm and Tom’s eviction. On that day, at the sound of the front door slamming, Charlotte had gone briefly to the kitchen to request some tea.  The expressions on the faces of the kitchen staff showed that they were well aware of what had transpired.

“I am sure we can keep the details of this incident within the walls of Trafalgar House?” she had asked.

“Of course, Miss Charlotte,” the cook had replied, “we hold Mrs Parker, Mr Sidney and yourself in the highest regard.  There will be no talk of it.”

Words left unsaid by the cook had spoken volumes to Charlotte about the staff’s opinion of Mr Tom Parker.

In describing what had happened leading to the argument Mary had told Sidney and Charlotte that they had missed very little.  She had heard Tom whistling, which had aroused suspicion.  With the cold atmosphere between them she had expected he would be far from happy but there he was, in seemingly very good mood.  Stopping at the door of the study she had watched him silently for a few minutes.  Tom was not yet aware of her, engrossed as he was in his letter, a deviously satisfied smile on his face as he wrote. 

Moving quietly, Mary had halted close to the desk and asked, “What are you doing Tom?”

Startled, Tom had dropped his quill and almost leapt from the chair, his hand flying to his chest. Taking advantage of his panic Mary had snatched up the letter and begun to read.  Tom, at once nervous and overwrought, had begun pacing the room, eyeing her curiously, saying nothing while she read through to the point where she had interrupted him.  Her shock at his treachery had sent her mind reeling, and her heart hammering.  Her immediate reaction was to shout angrily at him, weeks of frustration and disappointment – and now this new horror at his duplicity – rising in her, clamouring for release.  The argument had barely begun when she had turned to find Sidney and Charlotte standing together in the doorway, hands clasped, silently watching.  Although it felt like poison in her hand, she had known she must show them the letter.

After a long and heartfelt conversation, Mary had insisted there be no further mention of Tom as they prepared for the wedding.  In her view Tom Parker would have no place here and would not be welcome at the happy event.  She had vowed that should he dare to attend she would have him quietly removed, as nothing would be allowed to tarnish what must be a perfect day for her brother-in-law and her dearest friend.  Sidney and Charlotte had sadly agreed, knowing it could not be otherwise.

That conversation had been exhausting but helpful for Mary, in that Sidney and Charlotte were empathetic listeners.   She told of the occasions over the years that she had been forced to accede to Tom’s fanciful dreams and risky ventures, always aware of his reliance on Sidney to save him from failure.  She would try to influence him to make more modest decisions but was always rebuffed and made to feel inadequate in terms of business ability.  In the early years it had been bearable, but since his obsession with Sanditon there had been ever increasing incidents of recklessness, but oh, Tom was always right.  Tom was always the intelligent one. Tom knew how business worked, and how to manipulate any situation.  Advice from his wife was neither necessary nor welcomed.

*  *  *

With only two days until the wedding now, Charlotte is pacing the room.  Sidney pretends to be engrossed in the newspaper, but is secretly watching with amusement as she moves to the window every few minutes to look out in search of the carriages, muttering to herself about how long they must wait.  Today is the day they will welcome her family to Sanditon.

“Wearing holes in the rug will not make the carriages suddenly appear you know, Charlotte,” Sidney says with a smirk.

“Do not tease me Sidney,” she replies, “and if you are honest with me, you will admit that you too are excited that they are on their way!”

He puts down the newspaper and pats the seat beside him, inviting her to sit.  “Come on, you’ll have yourself in such a state of torment you’ll have lost the power of speech by the time they arrive!”

“Alright,” she says on a sigh, “but I do so detest it when you are right!”

At this moment Henry bursts into the room, demanding that they come out to meet the carriages, which are turning into their street.  He takes them both by the hand and together they head out to join Mary and the girls to welcome the Heywood family to Sanditon.  As they are leaving the house Arthur, Diana and Georgiana arrive with perfect timing to join the welcoming party, Georgiana happily holding onto Otis who has finally returned from London.

With the carriages pulling to a stop Charlotte’s brothers are already alighting and as Alison emerges hard on their heels Charlotte cannot help a squeal of delight.  Sidney laughs at her antics and appreciates as always the sheer joy that she finds in the everyday.  The excitement as more of the family seem to spill from the carriages is unrestrained, people embracing and babbling their delight at seeing each other again.

After Sidney’s arrangement for trunks and bags to be taken to the appropriate lodgings, the whole group gathers in Trafalgar House for refreshments, Mary having ordered a special spread for tea. Some time is spent on introductions, and the adults are happy to see the children making new friendships, the Heywood children of similar age to Alicia, Jenny and Henry all coming together as if it had been planned.

Sidney has arranged the Heywood family’s accommodation at a large house quite close to the one rented by Arthur and Diana, who offer to accompany them to it as soon as they wish.  Plans are made for the family to be shown all the interesting aspects that have made Charlotte ‘fall in love with the place’ and to visit Lady Denham later in the day.  Charlotte is also eager to show her parents where she and Sidney will live, so arrangements are made for early tomorrow to visit the old Parker house.

The rest of the day passes quickly, the family quite taken with Sanditon’s many features, so different from home.  As they walk the beach the Heywood children quickly join in the excitement of building sand castles with the Parker children, while the older ones examine the bathing machines, exclaiming in astonishment at Charlotte’s explanation of how women go about sea bathing.  There is much debate as to whether they will try this intriguing activity, some excited at the idea but others, including Mama, not so eager. 

Sidney is amused by the conversation around him, and is relieved as it becomes clear to him that Charlotte has no intention of taking the family near ‘their’ cove.  While he is happy that the family is already enjoying this visit to the seaside town, the cove he now considers special to him and Charlotte and he smiles at the thought that she shares his view.

The visit to Sanditon House is the final activity for the day and the Heywood family finds it immensely enjoyable.  There is an initial sense of awe amongst them as they take in the impressiveness of this home’s interior, and the appearance of the lady of the house as she sweeps in to welcome them, Esther following closely behind.  The woman who some months ago had spoken quite offensively to Charlotte about the size of her family’s brood is nowhere to be found, this gracious host even taking one of the smaller children onto her lap, to the astonishment of Esther and Charlotte, who cannot suppress a giggle.  Sidney is disappointed that Babington has been called away to London on an urgent matter, but is happy enough that there will be an opportunity for Mr Heywood to catch up with both Babington and Crowe on the wedding day.

Leaving Sanditon House the youngest Heywoods travel with their Mama by carriage to their rented accommodation while the older ones are happy to stroll back, looking out for the deer that Lady Denham has spoken of during their visit.  Sidney walks with Mr Heywood, who shows a keen interest in matters important to the town of Sanditon.  Choosing to confide in him, Sidney tells of his brother’s follies, taking heart from the fact that Mr Heywood shows great concern, and agrees with their efforts to make Tom take his responsibilities seriously.  Sidney is grateful for the older man’s advice and support.  Mr Heywood is grateful that his beloved daughter is to marry this man of integrity and compassion.  The two men are forging a strong bond.  

*  *  * 

On the day before the wedding, Charlotte and Sidney excitedly take Mr and Mrs Heywood to the old Parker house, and the parents are suitably impressed.  After they are shown through the home Sidney eagerly shows the outer property to Mr Heywood while the women discuss the improvements the couple have already made inside.  It is a very happy group that returns to Trafalgar House, where Mrs. Heywood joins the women for tea and discussion of what might still need to be done for the important day, and Sidney joins Otis in taking Mr Heywood to examine the work site.  Introducing Mr Heywood to James Stringer, Sidney leaves the gentlemen discussing aspects of the work and returns to the house with a very specific activity in mind.

*  *  *

Mr Simpson goes searching amongst Sidney’s friends and acquaintances for gossip regarding the Parkers’ financial circumstances. He asks around the haunts where he thinks their situation will be known, but it appears people are either not familiar with it, or not prepared to discuss their business.

Simpson is relieved upon entering one of the clubs to see Mr Crowe sitting alone gazing into a half empty glass.  He sidles up to him, quite sure Crowe will be useful with a crumb or two of information regarding Sidney Parker’s recent activities.  Although he does not know him well, Crowe is not averse to talking with him.  Unfortunately he is already somewhat in his cups, so is more inclined to talk than he would be if sober.

Mr Simpson assumes his most friendly and caring attitude, making small talk before launching in for the attack.  Seemingly very concerned and considerate, he asks questions about Sidney, the Sanditon fire and the financial crisis Tom has created.

Crowe, waving his glass about declares, “Oh that’s all been taken care of weeks ago!”

Simpson is surprised but tries to keep an unreadable expression, showing interest without appearing overly curious, “So he no longer needs help financially?”

“No. Parker, being the resilient man that he is, found several individuals happy to invest. It did fall short by a few thousand but the final amount they needed to raise – well an heiress friend of Parker’s has come to the party on that.”

Simpson is taken aback.  He does not know of any connection Sidney Parker might have to a wealthy heiress other than Mrs. Campion, so tries to entice Crowe to tell him more, “An heiress?”

“She’s someone he’s known for years,” Crowe replies, “from his time in Antigua. Her betrothed also inherited from somewhere, so they formed an alliance with other friends and so the debt was covered perfectly well.”

“Oh.  So, that is good news,” Simpson replies, now realising who Sidney Parker’s young ward must be, “and the wedding between Sidney Parker and Mrs Eliza Campion?” he asks, feigning ignorance, “how are the preparations coming along for that?”

“Oh where have you been man?” Crowe asks in surprise, “Parker has also cancelled that, weeks ago.  That was only dependent on the widow providing the funds for the rebuild at Sanditon.  They called off the engagement as he doesn’t need her help now.  Parker is engaged to another young lady now, a lively little beauty.  Their big day is tomorrow as a matter of fact.  I’ll be heading to Sanditon this afternoon for their marriage ceremony in the morning.”

Simpson almost chokes on his drink. He takes a deliberate look up to the clock on the wall. “Goodness is that the time!” he exclaims, “I have just remembered an appointment. Must make haste! Good day!”

He leaves the club in a rush and heads nervously to Mrs. Campion’s house.  

Crowe watches the other man leave, intrigued by his unexpected nervousness.  Frowning now, he feels a sudden suspicion regarding the conversation.  This man whom he is sure Parker would barely know, if at all, has asked for details that he would surely have no use for.  That would not be worrisome, provided he was a friend of Parker, but why on earth would he be seeking information otherwise?  What had appeared to be idle conversation Crowe is now convinced was in fact a deliberate strategy to get him to divulge his friend’s business.  With a feeling of dread, Crowe realises he has just given away information to someone who might take it straight to the widow Campion.  Susan has not mentioned the name of the man she is having watched.  Is it Simpson?  What is this fellow’s occupation?  Is he some kind of investigator?

“Parker!  So sorry!” he says under his breath, “I’m on my way man, I’ll fix it.”

In a flash, Crowe leaps from his chair and heads quickly out to find a carriage.  Once again he is on his way to see Babington with a view to helping their most esteemed friend. 

*  *  *

Mr. Simpson is right to be nervous.  On his arrival at Eliza’s house she greets him cordially, anticipating good news. Of course, it is not to be, but when he apprises her of what he has learned he is abysmally unprepared for her response. His report that Sidney has succeeded in funding the Sanditon rebuild is astonishing to her, and that he is to marry tomorrow even more so.  Although Mr Simpson cannot name the bride, she is in no doubt that it is the fortune hunting upstart from Willingden who has ensnared him.

Thunderstruck she stands, staring at Mr. Simpson, the intensity of her icy blue eyes causing a chill through his spine.  She is silent, eerily still, as if waiting for a misstep from him that will give her reason to strike him.  This continues for what seems an eternity to him.  Feeling alarmed now, he begins to fidget with his coat lapels, wondering if she has understood what he has said.  He is undecided as to whether he should wait for her to speak, or simply follow instinct and bid her a hasty farewell. 

When Eliza finally speaks, he regrets his procrastination. Her voice is cold and accusing; fixing him with her most vicious stare that belies her apparent composure, she quietly growls, “Why have you failed me?”

“I .. ah ...” he stammers.

“I asked you to assist me with one simple task!” she snaps, interrupting his attempt to reply. Her tone becomes stronger, the growl now menacing, rising in pitch, “Why have you failed me?”

Mr. Simpson is stupefied.  He begins to shake inwardly.  He has never faced a woman’s wrath, and is suddenly gripped with an indescribable fear.  This woman is small, but she is fearsome in her fury.  Surely, to be set upon by a horde of savage knife-wielding villains could not be so terrifying.

“I ... I have tried to please you with what I have done,” he rushes to explain, “but if Mr. Parker has accomplished what he was seeking ... then ... I have no control ... over that.”

Eliza’s face becomes contorted; she is frowning and pursing her lips, hunching one shoulder in her now stiffened body and raising one heel as if she will leap at him.  He steps back, struggling to concentrate as he attempts to mollify her and have her not lay blame on him, “If the information I have gathered is not ... what you wished for ... that is not my doing Madam.”  He spreads his hands as he continues, “I am merely the messenger ... I am sure you recognise –”

“Enough!” she shouts, interrupting his attempts to explain, “I will not hear it!  Do not speak!  You are a fool!  An incompetent fool!  You have failed me!  It was a simple task.  But you are fool, a disgrace!”

“But Mrs Campion, I have done exactly as you –”

“Get out!” she screams, her hands tightly fisted by her sides.  “Leave my house!  You are of no use to me.  I will bring that hateful girl down myself.  She will pay for this! And he will suffer for it!”

Mr Simpson is now in a state of panic and confusion.  He has no idea what she means but feels anxious for whoever her target might be.

“Begging your pardon –”

“Do not speak to me!” she is screeching now, as she reaches for the poker from the fireplace, swinging it at him, “Get out! I never wish to look upon your traitorous face again!”

Highly offended and fearing for his life, Mr. Simpson turns to rush from the room.  His chest is heaving, as he cannot leave quickly enough.  As he snatches his hat from the doorman and is ushered out he hears a blood-curdling scream and jumps in terror at the sound of smashing glass.

“I am sorry!” he says to the doorman on a wheezing breath.

“Do not concern yourself sir.”

He looks to the doorman’s face, and recognises fear in his eyes.  He stares at him in astonishment.

“Is this a regular occurrence?” he gasps.

While his facial expression proves otherwise, the doorman speaks softly and clearly, attempting to imply that nothing is amiss.  He states simply, “Sir, it is best that you keep the details of this encounter to yourself.”

“Yes, of course.  I thank you.  I wish you well,” he replies hurriedly, while trying to impart a sense of sympathy for the man’s situation.

“The same, sir.”

Mr Simpson departs, in disbelief.  He walks quickly, with long strides.  He is bewildered, fearful and unable to fully recall what has just occurred.  He is sure of one thing.  It is better to never speak of it. He needs to leave this terrible situation behind, somehow wipe it from his memory.  This woman is mad.  Why has he ever done her bidding?  Shame sweeps over him.  He has been party to a vicious woman’s attempt to ruin a man’s happiness – and his sanity.  He whispers his apology, “Oh Mr Parker, I am sorry.  You will never know what I have done.  But I hope you will know happiness after all.”

He must go home now, quickly, and try to forget...

Still shaking with fright, he is flooded with fear that this woman will come after him, wielding the fire poker to continue with her frenzied behaviour.  As if fleeing a demon, in a moment of panic he looks over his shoulder, and although there is no sign of her he cannot convince himself that she will not pursue him.  Alarmed that she will seek revenge, and wishing only for the immediate safety of his home he breaks into a run. 

*  *  *

Crowe is relieved to find Babington at home, and confesses immediately his fear that he has placed Sidney – and possibly Miss Heywood – in danger of some sort of spiteful reprisal from Eliza Campion.  To his relief, Babington appears less concerned for their welfare, confident that it is too late for the widow to prevent their marriage tomorrow.  After some discussion, however, Crowe becomes agitated again, as he cannot shake this feeling of dread, believing that he has been unwittingly disloyal to his friend.  In an effort to placate Crowe, and now also feeling caught up in his panic, Babington decides they should seek Susan’s advice.  They hurry to his carriage and Babington directs the driver to make haste for Lady Worcester’s residence.

Arriving at Susan’s house, Babington and Crowe are announced, and she greets them warmly.  Without delay Crowe apologises for their intrusion, but insists that he must make her aware of a conversation he has had that may have endangered Sidney and Charlotte.

“Oh Mr Crowe, have no fear of that,” Susan says without any sign of distress over his news, “I am already very much aware.  I do not believe you have endangered Sidney at all.  In fact, I believe you may have provided us with a definite source of entertainment.”

“What can you mean?” Crowe asks, bewildered, as Babington frowns in confusion.

“I think I should tell you, this man Simpson is the one we have had under observation.”

Before Crowe can find words to reply, Susan’s butler enters the room.

“My apologies my Lady, but I have a man here in the hall, asking to speak with you as a matter of urgency.  He appears to be very agitated ma'am.”

“Of course,” Susan replies calmly, “please see him in.” 

As a very nervous Simpson enters the room, Susan looks to him and says simply, “Ah, Mr Simpson.  Do come in.  We’ve been expecting you.”

Chapter Text

Sidney finds Charlotte in the study, and invites her to picnic with him, whereupon she cheekily asks, “Do we have a chaperone?”

“‘Unfortunately, all are rather taken up, apparently very busy.  It seems there is a wedding imminent,” he sighs, “so we shall simply have to behave ourselves with impeccable decorum. The alternative is to cancel the idea and perhaps sit about getting underfoot while others become increasingly exasperated with us.”

“Well, that will not do!  We must go I think!” she replies with a laugh.

“My thoughts exactly!  I’ve already consulted with the kitchen, so I’ll collect the basket and we’ll be on our way!”

They head out, Sidney offering her one arm while he carries their picnic in the other.  They converse cheerfully as they walk.  Charlotte thinks the path is familiar but does not realise exactly where they are until Sidney leads her into a clearing filled with wild flowers.  She recognises it from the day Georgiana had deceived her, arranging a rendezvous here with Otis.  Amazed Sidney has chosen this spot, Charlotte remarks that she had assumed he would never wish to come here. 

“Georgiana tells me even though you objected to coming this far, you were quite taken with the beauty of the place,” he says.

“Indeed I was,” she replies.

“Well then, I hope it's still to your liking?”

“More so, as I am here with you this time.”

“I’m a fortunate man Charlotte,” he says, looking more serious now, “and that’s the reason I wished to come to this place with you.  It’s become especially important to me this week as I’ve watched Mary deal with things she has learned about Tom.  She told him that he’s not the man he thinks we see.  How long has she known this?  I wonder, had she known his true character she might never have agreed to marry him.  Her regrets ... I want none of that for us.”

“Sidney, Tom has kept things from her.  He has been dishonest.  You are always completely honest with me.”

“I’m sure Mary would have thought the same way when she married Tom.  I cannot see you hurt by discovering something about my character after we have wed, and struggling to live with that the way Mary has had to do.  I couldn’t bear it.  She’s happier now than I’ve seen in years, but without Tom.  It ought not to be so.  Should I stifle your true self and drive you away like that I could never forgive myself.”

“Sidney, that is impossible.  You are honest and true.  You worry for naught.”

“Perhaps so, but I want to be certain there’s nothing I’ve failed to tell you that will disappoint you in the future.”

“Sidney, I have fallen in love with you.  You are nothing like Tom.  You are the best of men.”

“I hope I will never disappoint you Charlotte.  These past weeks, sharing our stories has brought me joy and contentment.  You’ve freed me from the guilt I’ve lived with since I brought us both so much pain.  I sometimes can’t believe I’m the one you’ve chosen, when I’m the least deserving. I am fortunate indeed.”

Sidney pauses a brief moment and chooses his next words carefully, “But now, why this place?  Well, there’s one occasion we haven’t spoken of – here, that day when Georgiana duped us both.  You endured a terrible day, staying with her to ensure her safety, and then had to suffer my outburst of temper.  I questioned your trustworthiness.  That was terribly wrong of me.  I hope you can forgive, even if you can’t forget.”

“Oh, we are long past that!”

“Charlotte, please, I must say this.  Georgiana wrote to me of what she’d said, here in this place, to convince you I’d failed as her guardian and was prejudiced against Otis.”

“She wrote to you?” she asks, frowning.

“Yes, some truths I needed to know.”

“So she was honest?”

“She was. Her letter was lengthy, and she omitted nothing of what occurred that day when you met Otis.”

“Oh.”

“She confessed she’d accused you of spying for me.  She said you defended me, but she’d eventually convinced you that I was a despicable man.”

“No! Not despicable –”

“Charlotte, please, I know what you were thinking.  You told me in the street.”

“Oh,” she says with a softening of her tone, “I am so sorry Sidney.  If I could take it back ...”

“But I provoked you to speak that way.  I was despicable.  I accused you.  I had no knowledge of how the meeting with Otis had come about but I assumed that you were party to it, when you were unaware of Georgiana's scheming.”

Charlotte nods her agreement.

“Georgiana told me you weren’t happy with her deception,” he continues, “and you’d initially insisted I could not be the man they described.  I’m sorry they used falsehoods to convince you.  I’ve deeply regretted my behaviour at the coach station.  I did precisely what I accused you of.  I made assumptions that were incorrect and unjust.”

Charlotte longs to respond but holds still while he continues, taking her hands more tightly. 

“We are to be wed tomorrow.  I’m filled with joy at the mere thought.  But I wish to begin our marriage with no uncertainties from the past between us,” he continues.  “This is why I’ve told you of what Georgiana wrote.  I should have known, Charlotte, that you would never have taken my request lightly, that you would have cared for her as best you could.  I was in a temper.  I’m sorry.  I will never embarrass or upset you like that again.  It shames me to think of it even now.”

“Sidney, I judged you badly too,” she responds, her eyes now glistening with tears, “I too was in a temper.  I did not care who heard us.  I still think back with humiliation at my own behaviour.  I saw your disappointment at my mimicry of you, the hurt in your face, my betrayal in your eyes.  I knew I had done wrong.  You had every right to be angry, but in my shame I sought something to blame you for.”

As he retains the tight grip of her hands, she continues in a sad, husky tone, “I took offense when you declared I could not be trusted.  But in fact, I proved you right, later, when I encouraged Georgiana to write to Otis, and to meet him again without your knowledge.  We both know the disaster which followed from that.  It was impulsive and childish of me, and I have learned much from it – that actions have consequences.”

She hangs her head, as she continues, her tone very soft, “But during those days ... I was untrustworthy.”

“Sweetheart, you were hurt and confused, as was I.  Charlotte ... I loved you then.  I simply didn’t know it.”

“I loved you too, but I took so long to realise ...”

“As did I.  But it was worth it.”

She looks up to him again, her answer almost a whisper, “Yes.”

“So all is well?” he asks softly.

“All is well,” she replies, with a tearful smile.  Sidney moves one hand to his pocket, produces a handkerchief and gently wipes the tears away.  She continues to smile up at him, and whispers, “Thank you.”’

“My pleasure, but I find it strange, I’ve been led to believe that admirals don’t cry.”

Charlotte emits a half strangled giggle.  Grabbing the cloth and crushing it in one hand she throws her arms round Sidney’s waist, surprising him.

“This admiral is moved to tears for any reason lately,” she mumbles against his chest, “whether woefully sad or incandescently happy!”

Well then, shall we celebrate by enjoying today in this place, with a picnic, my incandescent beauty?” he asks, as he draws back to look adoringly down at her.

“Yes please!”

They turn to the task of unpacking the basket, and Sidney pours each of them a small glass of wine.

“To us, Charlotte,” he says, raising his glass, “may we live long, together, in love and happiness.”

“Yes,” she replies brightly, raising her glass and repeating the toast.

After sharing the food and wine, Sidney picks a flower and hands it to her.  

“I am told flowers have meanings,” he says softly, “I have no idea what this flower might represent but I choose to give it to you now as a symbol of my love.  It is unique in its beauty.  Like you.”

“Oh.  This is exquisite, Sidney,” she replies. “You know, I have read that this flower represents humility, constancy, gratitude and everlasting love.”

“Then what could be more fitting?” he asks, smiling yet again at her knowledge and wisdom.

“Do you mind if we take it back to the house in the basket?” Charlotte asks, “I would dearly love to have it in a vase by my bed tonight.”

“Of course,” he replies, reaching for the basket and holding it out for her to place the flower gently onto the cloth inside.  He puts the basket aside, and takes her hands.

“With you, Charlotte,” he says, holding her gaze, “I am happier than I could ever have imagined possible.  I know there will be times when we’ll disagree, and perhaps even irritate each other, but I will never thoughtlessly offend you again, as long as I draw breath.  I will never underestimate you again, and I will always seek your counsel.  I give you my solemn promise.”

“And I give you mine.”

Reluctant to leave, he leans forward and kisses her softly.  They hold each other close, sitting together for some time, reflecting on their wonderful resolution of the troubles they have endured and anticipation of the future they will create together.  Eventually Sidney rises to his feet, offering her his hand.  As she stands, he draws her close, her breath catching under his loving gaze.

“Tomorrow, my love,” Sidney whispers.

“Tomorrow,” she whispers back.

They turn, Sidney collecting the basket and offering his arm.  She slips her hand into his elbow. They begin the walk back sharing beaming smiles.  There is no need for more words.

*  *  * 

Mr Simpson is astonished.  Lady Worcester has addressed him by name without the butler announcing him.  How does she know him?  Added to this, he feels nauseous, knowing he must talk about his visit to Mrs Campion.  He wishes he could simply disappear.

Susan looks kindly at him as she asks, “Won’t you sit down?”

He looks round, hesitating, confused to be asked to do this when no one else is seated.  He looks at each in turn, then reluctantly chooses a chair and sits slowly onto the very edge of it, afraid of the inevitable interrogation and wishing he had never got himself into this situation.  This feels all wrong to him.  He is usually the one asking the questions, but now he is trapped, realising how it feels to be the victim of a gruelling interview.

Susan takes her time moving to her seat, Babington and Crowe waiting courteously for her to be settled before they too sit down.  She looks directly, but quite kindly at Mr Simpson, and says confidently, “You have something of importance to tell us.”

“Yes,” he replies, “but I ... I fear it is not good news.”

“Allow me to be the judge of that,” she replies calmly but firmly, “take your time, and omit nothing.”

Mr Simpson briefly squeezes his eyes shut, trying to gather his thoughts.  He has been unable to think straight since scurrying back to his home after abuse from a lady he had thought such a gentlewoman.  Having paced back and forth without relief, he had made the decision he must somehow do something to save Sidney Parker and his intended from her venom.  Rushing over to this place in such frenzy he has not considered whether he is entering the house of friend or foe.  He only knows he must save two people from the malicious intent of a woman crazed.

“I must first apologise,” he says timidly, “I am an idiot.”

The three listeners remain silent, waiting.  He feels they must despise him.  He begins his explanation with some trepidation.

“I was employed by a woman, Mrs. Eliza Campion some weeks ago, to observe and report on the activities of Mr Sidney Parker,” he says. “At the time she led me to believe she was saving Mr Parker from making a bad investment which could only lead to bankruptcy.  She told me that he is a man who makes reckless business decisions and has over the years incurred debts for which he has sought her assistance.  She had it on good authority – or so she said – that his recklessness was about to be repeated and she wished to prevent it.  I was directed to approach a number of people to warn them, to ensure he did not obtain funds he could not repay.  She was saving him from his own business ineptitude.”

Crowe’s eyes narrow and Babington leans forward in his seat, as if ready to pounce on the man telling the story.  Mr Simpson cringes at their displeasure.

“At the time, I had no reason to believe otherwise,” he says defensively, “and she had also been very busy with her own visits to the banks that she said were ‘the more important ones’ while I had to steadily work through the list of names she had given me.  I believed she was happy with my efforts, as she recently rehired me to do a similar thing.”

Simpson squirms in his seat under three pairs of watchful eyes.  As no one speaks, he struggles on with his story.

“I did not know then that the older brother, Mr Tom Parker had brought his family to financial ruin.  It was only after the engagement of Mr Sidney Parker and Mrs. Campion I realised there was possibly more to her plan than she had told me, when I heard about the Sanditon fire and Tom Parker’s debt.”

“Did that not seem strange to you?”

“When she rehired me she told me he had cancelled their agreement.  She did not describe it as a broken engagement.  She was sure he would return for her help when refused by the banks again.  She did not mention the engagement, she only spoke about money.  I did not realise she was so displeased, as she always speaks arrogantly anyway.  I had not thought it a love match to begin with.  I thought they were lifelong friends.”

“But you learned the truth today, from Mr Crowe,” Susan says.

“Yes.  And that was like a lightning flash for me,” he answers in a rush, “I had only been looking for information about the money, but I was becoming suspicious ... then ... this was a sudden realisation, that Mrs. Campion would not be pleased with this wedding.  If they were still friends, then she would have already known he is to marry ...” 

“Indeed.  Tell me, why did you accept further work from her?” Susan asks.

“This is my livelihood, my Lady, and I was not aware then of this woman’s true character.  I had become doubtful with time, but had work to do and was determined to do it well.  It was only today – after I told her of the wedding tomorrow – that she mentioned another woman – a girl she said – and showed absolute hatred in her talk of her.  I see now she wants Mr Parker for herself after all.”

“What did she say?” Susan asks, looking suspiciously at him.

“She screamed at me to leave her house.  She said, ‘I will bring that hateful girl down myself.  She will pay for this! And he will suffer for it.’  I am so sorry my Lady.  Whoever this young woman may be, I now realise Mr Parker is in love with her, and I fear for them.  I have done these people such a wrong.”

“You have the list?” Susan asks.

“Yes, of course,” he says, fumbling in his pocket to draw it out.  He hands it to Susan.  “You are welcome to it.  I have no desire to have it in my possession now.  I only wish to forget my part in this terrible injustice.”

“I have a question for you,” Crowe says, “How did you know to come to Lady Worcester?”

“I had no idea where to turn,” Simpson replies, “but during my investigations I observed Mr Parker one evening at this house, an evening when both of you were also present.  It was the only thing I could think of, to come in the hope that someone here can help this man and his intended.  I did not know how else to warn him as I know he is not at Bedford Place today.”

“You have come to exactly the right place,” Susan says soothingly.

“Thank you,” Simpson says with relief, “but I still worry that she will do something we cannot prevent.  She seems very powerful.  I believe she will find people who can harm them.”

“They will be safe.  You have my word,” Susan replies.  She feels pity for this man.  He has come of his own volition, to confess his part in this treachery, unintended as it was, and sought to help a man he barely knows.  She has no doubt Mr Simpson has not consciously contributed to Eliza Campion’s evil plotting. 

“Thank you,” he says, looking grim.

“And now, you fear for your own safety?” Susan asks.

“I do.  I have never known such fear.  This woman is crazed I think.  Forgive my impertinence, but I cannot say otherwise.  She lunged at me wielding a fire poker.  She will take revenge upon me I know it, but I had to come, my conscience would not allow this to be left unsaid.”

“Go home Mr Simpson.  Have no fear.  I have already seen to it.  Two men will join you as you leave here.  They will be protecting you, not out for your blood.  They will walk with you, to convince others that you are with friends.”

“I cannot thank you enough my Lady!” Simpson gasps.

“Mr Simpson, you have done well.  I thank you for this list,” she says, holding it up, “Sidney and his betrothed will be safe.”  

Mr Simpson nods.  Babington and Crowe remain silent, both still uncertain of Susan’s intentions.

“Go home Mr Simpson," Susan says again, "we have this in hand.  Let this be a lesson to you in your work.  Never take an assignment without ensuring your work will be above reproach.  You are an investigator.  Be cautious in whom you trust.  We wish you well.”

Mr Simpson lets out a long breath, rises, and expressing his thanks again he bows to all and leaves the room.

“Now, gentlemen,” Susan says, turning to Babington and Crowe, “Sanditon awaits!”

  *  *  *

It is the evening before the much-awaited wedding in Sanditon.  Having bidden the Heywood family a good night, Sidney and Charlotte have returned to Trafalgar House and enjoyed a meal with Mary, who has now retired for the evening.  Sitting by the fire they quietly share happy thoughts in their last conversation as an engaged couple.  After only a short while they reluctantly decide that Sidney should depart for Sanditon House, to ensure they both have a good night’s rest.  Tonight Sidney will sleep at Sanditon House, at Lady Denhams' insistence, and in the morning will prepare from there for the wedding, with Babington and Crowe.

“It feels strange, Charlotte, that tonight I won’t be sleeping in the room next to yours.  I’ve become used to having you near.  I can’t tell you how happy I am, that from now on you will not only be near me, but with me, if you wish, wherever I go.”  

“Yes,” she says a little shyly, “finally, we will have what we have longed for.  It will be perfect.”

“Yes, perfect,” he agrees.  He looks down to reach for her hands, and brings them up to his chest.  “I suppose I must go, love.  We must be at our best tomorrow, but before I go, do you think my dearest Miss Heywood might allow me to kiss her one last time?”

“Miss Heywood will certainly allow it,” she says, “in fact, it is best that you do it tonight, as Mrs Parker must surely forbid your kissing any Miss Heywood tomorrow!”

“That is Mrs Charlotte Parker you speak of?” he asks, chuckling at her humour.

“Correct, sir!” she replies.

Sidney leans in slowly, lips meeting hers with a gentleness that makes her believe he must surely melt her heart.  This is her future, a life of love with this wonderfully caring and devoted man.  As they draw back, he says softly, “I must go.  I will dream of you tonight ... and in the morning, at the church ...I will be waiting.”

“I will dream of you too ... and tomorrow we will make our dreams come true.”

They rise, and walk together to the entry.  Sidney dons his coat and collects his hat and cane, before turning to give her another soft kiss on her forehead.

“Sweet dreams love,” he says softly.

“Sweet dreams.  I will see you in church.”

Smiling, he opens the door, touches his fingers lightly to her cheek, and goes out into the chilly night.

With a near full moon and a cloudless sky Sidney makes it a leisurely stroll to Sanditon House, thinking of tomorrow, now so close he can feel the joy of what is to come. Reminiscing on today’s conversation and the serenity of the whole afternoon and evening, he could not be happier.  As he approaches the cliff road he looks up to the place he has come to think of as sacred to him and Charlotte and is startled to see a lone figure there, a tall, thin man standing hunched against the chill, seemingly looking out to sea. Under the moon’s silvery brightness Sidney can easily make out who it is.  Tom.

Sidney stops, wondering why Tom would be roaming the cliff road at this time of night.  He is surprised to see him in Sanditon, having felt certain he would have sought solace at Bedford Place.   Perhaps he has sneaked back in on the late Flyer.  Briefly he wonders if perhaps Tom’s intention is to spoil his wedding day, and hopes that such a thought has not crossed his mind.  Knowing of Mary’s determination that Tom will not be permitted to attend, Sidney is curious as to whether she has set a plan in place for this eventuality.  Charlotte deserves a perfect day.  It must not be ruined.

Sidney watches until Tom turns, to make his way down to Sanditon.  Having no desire for an encounter with him tonight, Sidney immediately leaves the path and uses the shadows to hide away until Tom has moved past.  He steps out to watch his retreating form, and notes he is changing direction, towards the beach.  Perhaps he intends using one of the bathing machines again, to sleep.  That would certainly be practical if he cannot afford a room at the Crown – or wishes to remain unseen – and presumably safe enough, but for a man of his height, exceedingly uncomfortable!

Putting Tom’s woes out of his mind, Sidney resumes his walk to Sanditon House, eager now to rest and allow his lovely Charlotte to fill his dreams.     

Chapter Text

“Oh Charlotte!” Alison exclaims, “You look like someone stepping out of an enthralling dream!”

“You will take Sidney’s breath away,” Georgiana quips.

“Yes,” Esther agrees, “he will take one look at you and swoon.”

“He will not!” Charlotte denies breathlessly, “but I think perhaps I am in a dream, and I have no wish to step out of it.  But this unruly hair!”  She touches her fingers lightly to her swept up tresses, “Will it do?”

“It is beautiful Charlotte,” Susan says, entering the room, “and I have the very thing to give it the final touch.”

Susan brings out a small case, opening it to reveal two matching combs with a simple row of small, sparkling diamonds on each.   Charlotte gasps in happy surprise, gently touching one of the combs.

“I want you to have these, Charlotte,” Susan says, “I wore these as a bride myself.  They are my gift to you.”

“Oh, I will happily borrow them, but I could not keep them!” Charlotte gasps.

“Borrow? I will not hear of it.  My dear girl, they are yours.”

Charlotte embraces her, expressing her gratitude, Susan smiling with satisfaction that her gift is perfect.  Alison takes the combs, expertly applying them to Charlotte’s hair.  They all move back to admire the radiant bride before them.

Mrs. Heywood has been quietly watching, delighted with the happiness in this room. She touches Charlotte’s arm and says, “Charlotte, you are the most beautiful bride.  I could not be a more proud mother than I am at this moment.  I am overjoyed that you have found such a devoted man with whom to share your life.”

“Thank you Mama, for everything,” Charlotte replies.  They embrace for a moment, before her mother says, “And now, I believe there is a nervous father downstairs waiting to escort you to the church.”

The ladies leave the room, allowing Charlotte to take one last look around, memories of her days here flooding in, happiness for the outcome that she had never thought possible filling her being.  She follows the other women downstairs, to see her Papa waiting, looking at her with pride.  The ladies quietly depart, leaving Charlotte and Mr Heywood a private moment together.

“Look at you then Charlotte,” he says quietly, “my lovely girl, all grown up, and leaving us for another life.  I knew this day would come, and can only say that Sidney is a most fortunate man.  You are a beautiful young woman, and I know that you and he will bring each other much happiness.”

“Thank you Papa.  I am grateful you have accepted Sidney so well.  He was unsure, but he now already feels part of our family.  He looks upon you as a father.”

Mr Heywood’s eyes are misting.  He offers Charlotte his arm.

“I believe we have an appointment,” he says, “and we must not keep this man waiting.”

  *  *  *

Sidney, Babington and Crowe are talking together while dressing, Babbers laughing as Sidney’s hands tremble so much that he cannot tie his cravat.  As he takes over, they discuss his nervousness.

“I don’t understand, having waited so long for this day, why I should be so nervous.”

Babbers replies, “Don’t you recall?  I was the same. I think all grooms must do this.”

Sidney grunts at him, and he laughs again.  “It is a good omen old friend.”

“How so?”

“It means you will have a happy life with your lovely lady. She is lovely, Sidney,” Babington says as he finishes the task.

“I know. I am the luckiest man alive.”

“Well yes, you are ... after me,” Babington says with a giggle.

Crowe snorts.  “I had a feeling you would fall for Miss Heywood,” he says, “You were always looking at her.  You were as bad as Babbers with Miss Denham.  This was inevitable.”

Sidney looks into the distance with a distracted, tender smile.  He turns to his friends, now becoming serious, and begins to express his gratitude for their unwavering support through the misfortunes that had befallen him, not only recently but also when they were young men with very little experience of life.

“A man could not wish for more loyal friends.  My happiness today is largely down to you.  I will never forget your generosity.”

 “Parker, stop,” Crowe exclaims, “let’s not get maudlin.”

“I speak in earnest Crowe.  I am truly grateful.”

Sidney’s countenance is happier than Crowe has seen before, in all their years of friendship.

“Parker!” he replies, humour in his voice, “You are done for!”

“Yes,” Sidney says, grinning broadly, “and I am perfectly content to be so!”

There is laughter amongst the three, as they leave for the church.

*  *  *

Invited guests are arriving.  Susan notices James and Fred standing uncertainly in front of the church, seemingly waiting for the family to enter first.  She wanders over and begins a friendly conversation, regarding the current situation with the Sanditon rebuild.  As their talk becomes more involved, family and friends enter the church in preparation for this morning’s ceremony.   In the congregation are Mary and the children, most of the Heywood family, Diana and Arthur, Georgiana and Otis, Lady Denham, Mrs Griffiths, the Beaufort sisters and Dr Fuchs.  This small number is in keeping with Sidney’s and Charlotte’s intention to have nothing ‘elaborate’.  Susan, James and Fred choose to sit behind the family, leaving space for any latecomers.

Charlotte’s attendants, Esther and Alison enter the church and all are awaiting the bride’s arrival.  Lord Babington and Mr Crowe find the groom’s nervous state quite comical, but Sidney is oblivious to their amusement as they try to distract him with Crowe’s droll humour and Babington’s giggles.  His thoughts are fully taken up with giving his beautiful bride a perfect day.

Charlotte enters the church, on Mr Heywood’s arm.  Sidney’s expression betrays his anxiety, as he turns to the sound of his bride and her father entering and pausing at the door.  When he looks to his darling Charlotte he knows immediately that all is well, and breaks into his most dazzling smile.

Walking forward, her eyes sparkling, she looks like an angel to him. Choking up, he drags his gaze from her face to take her in fully, and with a sudden gasp, he realises what she is wearing. 

The dress!  Charlotte is wearing the dress!

All the beautiful memories rush in for him – how breathtaking she looked at the midsummer ball, how extraordinary their conversation was on the evening they danced at the cliffs.  His thoughts have been centred on making this day perfect for her, but with her decision to wear the dress, Charlotte has made it perfect – for him, for them. She has understood exactly how to banish all the pain of the past, to make it simply slide away, bringing with her the joy and conviction that will ensure the fulfilment of their hopes and dreams.

Sidney is certain the whole congregation must hear the hammering of his heart, hammering not with the punishment of pain and regret that has dogged his days, but a wondrous explosion of light and joy dancing through his whole self.

Unashamedly, he begins to cry; swept up in a tide of admiration and gratitude, that on this special day his most cherished Charlotte thinks so highly of their connection through this dress that she has chosen to wear it over anything new.  Through tears, he watches this beautiful young woman walking serenely towards him, with eyes only for him, her face radiant with love.  He glances down to the hand not resting on her father’s arm, and gasps again.  Charlotte is carrying a single flower, the flower he gave her just yesterday, its stem wrapped prettily in a fine white cloth and tied with a dainty blue ribbon, the slight trembling of the flower against her fingers the only sign of her nervousness.  He recognises the cloth, wrapped in such a way as to show the initials ‘SP’ embroidered on the front.  This is the handkerchief he had used to dry her tears, amongst the bluebells.

As Charlotte and her Papa join Sidney at the altar, he hastily brushes away his tears.  Mr Heywood nods to him, squeezes Charlotte’s hand and kisses her cheek.  He glances between them, places his daughter’s hand into Sidney’s and whispers proudly, “This is the best of days,” before turning with a broad smile to take his place beside his wife.

Sidney and Charlotte look adoringly at each other, both breathless, both misty eyed.

He whispers, “Good morning, my miracle.”

She whispers back, “Good morning, my perfect love.”

As Rev Hankins begins the service with his typically long-winded sermonising, James Stringer is alerted to crunching of carriage wheels on the gravel outside. James knows the person planning to enter the church will not be welcome.  He moves quickly from the pew, Fred hard on his heels.  Through the open doorway James sees Eliza Campion about to enter, her face like thunder and steely intent in her eyes.  This is something Susan has just warned them about and requested their help to prevent.  James glances quickly at Fred, and hurries to meet the woman, stalling her at the door.  Speaking in a whisper he tells her this event is for invited guests only, and asks, “Why are you here?”

“I have come to stop this travesty of a wedding!” she hisses savagely.

James takes her arm firmly, saying quietly, “Come with me!”  He quickly leads her away from the church, ignoring her squirming and her frantic protests.  Fred joins them, anticipating James will need his assistance to send her on her way.  To ensure this woman’s behaviour will not disrupt the ceremony he has closed the church door behind him.

Eliza, writhing in James’s grip, demands harshly, “Unhand me! I must stop this wedding!”

“Sorry, madam, but that’s not going to happen.  Mr Parker will marry the woman he loves.”

“Sidney loves me, not her!  He only abandoned me because he was distracted by a scheming village upstart!”

“I beg to differ.  There is no village upstart here!  A city upstart perhaps!  Mr Parker is marrying the woman he loves.”

“She does not love him; she wants his wealth and position!  She has bewitched him!  But it will not last!  He will regret this!”

Now annoyed, James retorts, “She is in love with the man, not his money!  If you can even think that, then you don’t know Miss Heywood at all, and you’re sorely mistaken in your estimation of Mr Parker!”

“No!  He will come to see her for the fortune hunter she is!”

“Mrs Campion, you have no claim to Mr Sidney Parker’s affections.”

“How dare you!  You know nothing about this!”

“Oh, I know.  We all know.  You think that after you broke his heart you have a right to come back after all these years and lay claim to him?  You are too late Mrs Campion.  Mr Parker is marrying a woman who loves him simply for who he is.  He does not need you.  He does not love you.  But you knew that already.”

“He does love me!  She has ensnared him!  He only broke our engagement because of her!”

“Do you expect pity for that, after your treatment of him 10 years ago?  Mr Parker has found love and contentment.  If you care for him at all you’ll accept that and be happy for him.”

“What would you know?”

“Believe me, I know, better than you suppose.  The woman I love is in that church right now, about to exchange vows with Mr Parker.  And I can only wish them happiness.”

Alarmed, Eliza attempts to push past James, her voice rising hysterically. “No!! It must not happen!!”

James grasps her arm again, as Fred steps forward to block her path.

“Sometimes,” James says through gritted teeth, “fate does not give us what we want, but we have to make the best of our lot ... as Mr Parker did all those years ago.  You think it was easy for him, a shattered young man wondering how he had lost you?  Without explanation, you simply threw him over, and married for wealth.  Remind me Mrs Campion, who is the fortune hunter here?”

“Who are you?”  She is shouting now.  “You have no right to speak to me in that way!”

James, far from intimidated, replies calmly, “You have no right to have come.  You were not invited. There is no place for you here.  You must leave, now.”

He escorts her, resisting, to her carriage, and instructs the driver, “Mrs Campion will be returning to her home.”  The driver nods.

Eliza tries again to slip past him but he catches her arm, as Fred moves to block her path back to the church.

“Miss Heywood will regret this!  You will all regret this!”

“Have a care madam!”  James replies.  “In Sanditon we are loyal to our friends.  We look out for them and do not take kindly to threats made against them.”

Eliza looks defiantly up at James, pouting and wondering desperately how to gain control of the situation.

“Baring’s Merchant Bank,” a woman’s clear voice breaks the silence.

James and Fred turn to see Susan standing close, in her hand a paper which she appears to be perusing.  Eliza is startled to see her, and is puzzled by what she has said.

“Gosling and Childs, 19 Fleet Street,” Susan continues, reading from the paper, “Drummonds Bank, Charing Cross ... Thomas Coutts and Co, 59 Strand ...” She looks up from the paper, fixing Eliza with a cold stare.

“Lady Worcester,” Eliza gasps, “what are you doing?”

“Herries Bank, St James Street ... Rothschild and Sons, New Court, St Swithins Lane,” Susan reads further.

As a bolt from the blue, Eliza is struck by the significance of Susan’s reading.  Susan Worcester has her list!  Simpson has betrayed her.  Gasping for air, she opens her mouth to speak, but cannot find words to defend herself.

“Barclays Bank ... oh Mrs. Campion, do you really think Mr Parker would have even considered that bank, given the well known links that certain of its members have to slavery?  I should have thought you more discerning than that!  Oh, and this ... Gurneys!  Really?  Gurneys of Norwich?  More than one hundred miles north of London! You thought Sidney Parker would travel that far to seek the funds that would free him from your clutches?  Exactly how desperate were you, Mrs. Campion?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about!” Eliza denies loudly.

“Oh, but you do,” Susan replies, “and you are about to pay dearly for what you have done.”

“I do not know what you mean,” Eliza croaks in panic, knowing she is outclassed.

“Come Mrs. Campion, let’s not be tedious about this.  You have behaved fraudulently and such behaviour invites reprisal.”

“I have done nothing wrong!  This is Simpson’s fault!  He has overstepped.  I asked only for some simple information –”

“Do not take us for fools!” Susan says sharply, “You lied, to achieve a disgraceful objective, and your treachery is revealed.  You will now follow my instructions, to right this wrong and ensure that Mr Parker need never be concerned with you again.”

“You cannot threaten me!” Eliza shouts, “I can destroy your reputation with a simple word in the right ear!”

“Go ahead,” Susan replies calmly, “I look forward to your humiliation, at your own hands.  You do not have the power you think.  Should you attempt to make trouble you will be hunted out of town, make no mistake!  So, you will listen now to what I say, and if you value your reputation you will do exactly as I suggest.”

“You do not frighten me!”

“I have no interest in such games, that is your partiality.  My interest is in seeing justice done.  Now, to my suggestion.  Leave London. Immediately.  Go far from the city.  A trip abroad for an extended time would be ideal, permanent residence in another country even more appropriate.”

“You are being ridiculous!” Eliza gasps.  “I have no intention of leaving London, my home or my friends!”

“From what I have learned of late, you no longer have friends,” Susan replies calmly.

“How dare you insult me!” Eliza exclaims in shock.

“Oh, enough with the pretense,” Susan says wearily, “you know as well as I that you have lost the trust of those who once fawned over you.  A life in Spain, or perhaps Portugal would be far more favourable than here in the chilly London climate ... and I am not speaking about the weather.  I am sure you understand.”

“Simpson!” Eliza shouts, “I will have his head!”

“You will not!” Susan declares, “It is your own neck you should be thinking of, with grave concern.  If that decent man suffers even a scratch, you will be arrested, and once you are, there will be very awkward questions asked, do you not think?”

“You have no proof, only the word of a lowly investigator, one who is not even competent at his job!” Eliza retorts.

“Which is why you hired him again, of course.  Excuse me while I take a moment to try to understand that.”

“You cannot do anything to me.  You are attempting to trap me!”

“Why would I do that?  Trapping people is more to your liking.  You have left yourself open to detection of your deceit.  A word in a magistrate’s ear and the constabulary will simply turn up at your door and proceed with your arrest.”

Eliza is speechless, her shoulders slumped, her face red with anger and embarrassment.  She is, however, defiant to the end.

“You have no proof!” she says again, with less conviction.

Susan holds up the list.  She raises one eyebrow, smirking at the frantic woman before her.  There is silence for a long moment.

“These people will not lie to us, especially as they will be warned of the consequences.  Leave London Mrs. Campion.  Be gone by the time I return to my home.  Go to the continent, and do not return.  If you do, you will be ostracised, and if you cause trouble you will be arrested and charged.”

Eliza’s face suddenly pales.  Her eyes now brimming with tears, she looks pleadingly at Susan.

“You would not do that.”

“Oh but I would.  You tried to prevent a perfect match between Mr Parker and Miss Heywood.  Your actions were selfish and unforgivable.  Do not look here for sympathy.  Just go, and prepare quickly for your journey.”

Defeated, Eliza slowly turns away.  Fred opens the door and James hands her into the carriage.

He shuts the door and signals to the coachman, “Drive on.”

The carriage leaves slowly down the driveway, Eliza furious, pouting with angry tears.  The two men watch as she is taken through the gates, and then turn back to re-enter the church with Susan.

Tom Parker, hiding behind some thick shrubs nearby, has watched this whole incident.  Aghast at what has been said, at last he understands the extent of Eliza’s treachery, and his own selfish disloyalty to his brother who has always been supportive of his ventures, even if unwillingly.  A great sadness washes over him.  This is his brother’s wedding day, and he cannot join the celebration.  He is a lost and lonely man, who has brought this shame upon himself.  Sidney deserves Charlotte.  They share common goals, they are both compassionate and giving, and they understand one another, just as he had believed he and Mary did.  How wrong he was.  How dismissive he has been.  How long it will take to arrive back at a place of trust with Mary.  How she must detest the very sight of him now.

“Excuse me sir, are you unwell?”

Tom turns, startled to find he is not alone.  He is facing two sturdy gentlemen, strong in appearance and stern in expression.  Unbeknown to him, while he has been watching Eliza’s comeuppance, Susan’s men have been watching him.

“Oh, I am just taking some air,” he splutters, “my brother is the groom, you see, and I am a little nervous on his behalf.”

Knowing the situation, but humouring his attempt to maintain some dignity, one of the men asks, “Do you wish for us to accompany you into the church?  You could remain standing at the back of the pews, and leave as the service is drawing to a close.”

“Oh ...  alright ... that would be splendid,” Tom stammers.

They enter the church quietly, as Reverend Hankins asks, “If anyone can show just cause why this couple may not lawfully be joined together, speak now or hereafter forever hold your peace.”

James and Fred glance at one another, shrugging and shaking their heads, then share a smile with Susan before looking straight ahead.  Tom stands back in the shadows, with head bowed.

As the marriage proceeds and the couple exchange their vows, Sidney placing his mother’s ring on Charlotte’s finger, emotion in the church is palpable.  Tom watches, understanding at last, struck by the love and admiration he sees in Sidney’s eyes as he gazes at his bride’s lovely face.  Knowing the significance of what is happening here, Charlotte’s acceptance of Sidney’s troubled and painful past, and the future she is willing to forge by uniting with him and taking her rightful place in the Parker family, Tom is swept up in a whirl of anguish.  He withdraws quietly, Susan’s men accompanying him and suggesting that he leave the property before he is noticed by others.  He reluctantly agrees, slipping out quickly, knowing he cannot do otherwise.  He has brought this punishment upon himself. 

After being rained upon with petals and enjoying the delight of everyone’s happiness for them, Sidney and Charlotte try to do the rounds of the people milling about in and out of the tents, both too excited to consume much of the wonderful food provided for the attendees’ enjoyment.  At times separated by guests wishing to speak with one or the other, they maintain their connection through constant meeting of eyes, and smiles across the gathering.  Sidney takes the opportunity to speak for a moment with James and Fred, advising them he will be in touch soon and ensuring them he is confident in their ability to keep things going well in his absence.  Not wishing to be apart from Charlotte any longer, he draws their conversation to a close.

“If you’ll excuse me, I should get back to my wife.”  He smiles indulgently as he watches her.

“You are missing her already then?” Fred asks, grinning at him.

“Indeed,” Sidney replies with a chuckle, “indeed I am.”

All three laugh, as Sidney pats Fred’s shoulder and moves towards Charlotte.

He stops in front of his wife, takes her hands and gives her a light, gentle kiss on her forehead.

Charlotte, smiling but puzzled, asks, “What is this for?”

“I was over there,” he nods towards James and Fred, “and I missed you.”

Charlotte looks up at him and her lips part, smiling with happy surprise at his words.  She appears about to speak, but then says nothing and closes her mouth again.

“What, no response Mrs Parker?  No opinion on this?  No assumptions?”

“Mr Parker,” she replies hesitantly, “I ...,” she shrugs giving up trying to outwit him, “words fail me.” 

They both laugh as he happily squeezes her hands a little more tightly.

Becoming restless, however, he gently takes hold of her arm.  “I think I need you to myself. There are so many people,” he says with a hint of exasperation, “and none of them exhibiting any desire to go home.”

“They are happy for us,” Charlotte replies, “they want to share our day.”

“Yes, of course,” he says, with a heavy sigh, “I am being selfish.”

“Should we ask Lady D to tell them to ‘clear off’?” she asks with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, that might work!” he says as they both begin to chuckle.  “But seriously ...” he continues, as he now looks about, frowning.

Charlotte is determined to dispel any irritation he might feel today.  Tenderly, she raises her hand and gently trails her fingers across his furrowed brow.

“Sidney,” she says softly, “please ... smile for me.”

Immediately he brightens, and asks teasingly, “Why?”

“Because it is like sunshine in my heart when you do.”

Sidney’s frustration of a few minutes ago is forgotten, driven out by the thoughts that Charlotte has just lovingly given utterance to.  He looks tenderly at her, basking in her smile, and grateful that it is he she considers her one true love.  Charlotte smiles shyly up at him, as a thought occurs to her, “So, my dear husband –”

“Ah!”’ he interrupts, gazing down to her with a broad smile, “I do like to hear you say that!”

“Good!  Now, I think you should make a speech. After that, well, then all these people might start to leave?”

“Excellent notion, Mrs Parker!” he declares, bringing a smile to her lips, “Come, we'll tell Lady D.”

He grasps her hand as they approach Lady Denham.  His suggestion that he make a speech delights her and Sidney taps a spoon against a glass to gain attention.  When all becomes quiet, he begins, thanking all for their attendance, and their help in making this a truly memorable day.  While making this speech as succinct as possible, he omits no one, his sincerity evident in the words of gratitude for the loyalty and love of family and friends.  At last, there is only one person left to thank.

“My final thank you ... I have left my most important, very personal one until last, but I want to say this for all to hear.”

He turns to his wife, with love in his gaze.  “Charlotte.  My most beloved Charlotte,” he begins, taking her hands, “when we first met I was a lost soul. For many years I had lived with the belief that I was not worthy of a woman’s affection or admiration, not capable of finding an enduring love.  You have changed all of that. You have picked up the pieces of my long broken heart and ever so gently put them back together.”

Charlotte’s eyes have not left his face.  He lifts one of her hands to place it over his heart.  “This heart is now in your keeping. Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world.”  His voice begins to break, “You are my world,” and reduces almost to a whisper, “and I love you.”

Sidney softly kisses Charlotte’s lips and she responds, with everyone quietly watching them, all delighted to witness their devotion to one another. 

“Finally!” Arthur exclaims, bringing them back to reality as he claps excitedly. He is promptly joined by the rest of the assembled group, all laughing and cheering, thrilled that these two deserving people have at last found their happiness.

Tom, unable to bear his exclusion, has returned.  Lurking in the shadows behind a sizeable tree he hears Sidney’s speech, sees his kiss with Charlotte and realises how much they are loved and respected by all in Sanditon.  Mary, noticing a movement looks across, directly meeting his eyes, but she does not acknowledge him.  Knowing she is right to ignore him, he slinks away.  This day has been a revelation.  He admits now, finally, that he is at fault.  He has much to atone for.  He sees the damage done at his hands.  His monumental failures have hurt so many, and yet Sidney has remained concerned for him, still making efforts to help him.   What a fool he has been to not appreciate his self-sacrificing brother’s care.  What selfish pride!  He should have accepted with grace the paid position.  Now he cannot – it is too late.  He cannot remain in Sanditon.    At least Sidney and Charlotte are now blissfully happy.  Oh ... Charlotte ... how she must detest him for his ingratitude ... he must find a way to make amends.  But now, he must leave, and not return to Sanditon until he knows Mary wants him to.  It may take months, years, or it may never be, at all.  So be it.  That will be Mary’s choice.  Meantime, he will go.  Go away, as she said.  He must do the humble thing.  He will find work.  He will send money to Mary so that she and the children need not rely on Sidney and Charlotte any longer.  Aware that he cannot hope to win Mary’s trust until she can see him as an honest man he takes a purse from his pocket, counts his few coins and heads for the coach station, hoping the Sanditon Flyer has not yet left for London. 

The day concludes with the happy couple stepping up into their curricle, Sidney taking the reins and moving the vehicle forward slowly.  Strewn again with flower petals, surrounded by family and friends skipping for a little way alongside, they depart the celebration amid lots of love and laughter.

*  *  *

Sidney brings the horses to a halt at the place on the cliffs where they had kissed and danced.

“We are stopping here?” Charlotte asks, looking up to him in happy surprise.

“Yes, for a short while,’’ he responds as he leaps from the vehicle and hurries to her side, to help her to alight.

As they move forward he takes her hand, and gently entwining their fingers, he says, “I could not pass by without spending at least a moment in our special place.  This is where it all comes home to me Charlotte, all the wonder of what I now have.”

They stand together for a few minutes, hands clasped, looking out from the cliff top in blissful silence. Their hearts are full; there is no need for words.

Sidney turns towards her, bringing both her hands up to lie flat against his chest, and she splays her fingers against him.  He reaches up to gently cup her face and leans in to kiss her softly, feeling the same tenderness in her response. As their lips part, he wraps one arm around her waist, drawing her against him, Charlotte welcoming the opportunity to slide her hands up to meet round his neck.

“I have something for you,” he says.

Moving back a little and reaching into the pocket where his letter still resides, he draws out the velvet pouch he had brought with him from London, the night he rode through the moonlight hoping to find her awake at Trafalgar House.  He hands her the pouch, noting with pleasure the surprise on her face.

“I bought this in London, love.  It was the week I went searching for a solution for Tom.”

“That terrible week?  You were thinking of me!”

“Every moment.  I purchased it the very first day I was there.  It was to be a wedding gift.  Little did I know the heartbreak and pain that would almost prevent my giving it to you.  But at last, this precious day has come.”

“Oh Sidney,” she says, as she tips the pouch and the locket slides onto her hand, “it’s beautiful!”

“Open it,” he says, smiling indulgently down, taking the pouch and returning it to his pocket.

She opens the locket to find portraits of Sidney and herself.  “Oh!  This is superb!”

“The artwork is Georgiana's,” he says proudly, “she was delighted to satisfy my whim.  I wanted us to be together, wherever you are.  Should I have to be apart from you, this ... well ...”

“Yes!” Charlotte exclaims, “You will be always with me!”

“Do you wish to wear it now?  I can help –”

“Yes, please,” she interrupts excitedly, reaching to take off the pendant she has worn today, the one he has brought back to its original condition.  He stops her, turns her gently and reaches up to untie the ribbon, taking it off to slide into his pocket.  Then taking the locket he drapes it round her neck, clasping it at the back.  She touches it where it sits against her skin, below her throat, and turns to him. 

“Oh Charlotte, it's beautiful.  Like you,” he says softly, taking her into his arms, leaning his forehead against hers.  “I want to hold you in my arms, forever.”

“I have dreamt of it.”

“I too,” he whispers, “all those lonely nights.”

“This is the happiest day of my life,” Charlotte says, “there is one thing now that will make it complete.”

“What is that my love?”

“We make our way home.”

“Yes.  Home,” he replies.

She pushes up onto her toes and their lips meet again, before they turn back to re-enter the curricle.

“Now, it’s your turn,” he says, smiling broadly as he hands her the reins. 

“Oh.  Thank you,” she replies, looking cheekily up to him, “must I keep my back straight?”

With a delighted chuckle at her witty recall of their conversation in the boat on regatta day, he moves an arm behind her to lay his hand gently on her far shoulder, and rests his head against her temple for a moment.  Charlotte begins to drive the curricle, and as the horses step up their pace she turns to look adoringly at this man who is now her husband.  Meeting his tender gaze she knows that nothing else would do.  This is the man with whom she shares that mutual love and affection.  This is the one she will adore till her last breath.  Their future is bright with their unfailing commitment to each other’s happiness. 

Sidney smiles down at her.  “Charlotte, thank you, for wearing this dress,” he says, placing his hand on her knee and feeling the fabric in his fingers, “It is the most wonderful thing you could have done today, such a special way to banish all the pain, and bring me such joy and hope for the future.”

“I wanted to surprise you, as you did me when you had it repaired,” she says softly.

“And then the flower, and the handkerchief ... it was a magnificent gesture, my love, simply magnificent.”

“I am glad you found it so.  Sidney, I believe I have everything now that I could possibly ever wish for.”

“You do?”

“I do,” she replies, “I have love, I have loyalty ... and I have this beautiful dress!” she says as if teasing while he looks down at her with an enigmatic smile.  “But best of all by far," she continues, adoringly, "I have you.”

"And I have you," he says softly, "What we have together here Charlotte ... two hearts ... two souls ... one love ..."

"Yes.  One perfect love."

Sidney draws her in firmly against his side.  They drive on, sharing thoughts of this wonderful day, a day they had both believed could never be theirs, but is now a shining example of the joys to come.  At last, they are content.  They have each other.  They have it all.

Anyone noticing the elegant curricle traversing the cliff road this evening would see a delightfully happy couple, laughing and teasing together as they make their way to the old Parker home. Anyone noticing their joyful faces would see that here is a couple sharing their hopes and dreams for the wonderful life they so richly deserve.

This is Sanditon’s most admired and beloved couple, Mr and Mrs Sidney Parker.

~~~The End~~~