Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mikey grasped at his hair, unsure if it was too early for a haircut. 

6 AM.

Alright, why not?

The strands hit his shoulders, maybe a little shorter…

And layers to frame his face. Yeah, that’ll look cool. It’ll especially look good with his mask on. 

He stuck his tongue out as he worked his way around his head, pieces of him littering the floor. His arms trembled from holding up the scissors too long. He paused to slap his hand. “Stop it,” he hissed. The scars over his fingers—sharp like lightning and zig zagging up to his elbows—heated up even without his use of ninpo. All these years later, and the scars had a way of waving hello over and over. Not too bad. It wasn’t too bad. He set the scissors aside, put on his mask, and checked the reflection. Much better. Smirking to himself, Mikey slid on his brown and orange poncho (made by Casey; he’s pretty wicked with the needle) and went out to make breakfast for when Raph woke up. He hesitated. There was a pulse in the air—Leo’s ninpo whispered. His blue flame licked the outer corner of Mikey’s mind, then was gone. He hurried to his older brother’s room, fingers twitching with an anxiety that never uprooted since the krang attack. But he said he didn’t like it when Mikey kept checking on him while he slept. 

No, no, he’s fine.

Mikey walked back in the other direction, forcing his hands into his poncho. 

It’s fine, it’s fine.

The flame sparked and licked and licked and didn’t go away. It spurted.

Nope. 

Mike turned back and ran. 

Bad sign, bad sign, bad sign.

“I don’t need your coddling,” Leo said. “Everything’s fine.”

Mikey brushed both hands to his brother’s face, tracing his thumbs over the red markings. “I feel your nightmares,” he whispered. “They’re loud.”

Leo pulled his hands away. “And so is your snoring, which is what I’m about to do if this conversation continues a minute longer.”

But this was different. It’d been at least a year since Leo’s ninpo sparked in his sleep. He’d been doing so well, too.  

Taking a breath and bracing himself, he pulled the curtain aside. Sure enough, his markings were alight, setting a soft glow across the room. A tense vibration was in the air, and it was good Mikey came when he did. Every metal in the room glowed blue, a thumbtack keeping a poster up created a small portal, engulfing itself and sending itself zipping across the room. Mikey ducked when one spiraled for his head. A soda can vibrated and crumbled. Leo gritted his teeth, panting while gripping the bed sheets in a death grip. 

When first learning this spell, Mikey struggled with going in slow. It was so easy to slip in too fast, or go in with a too eager hand. Donnie was skittish, he had to be slowest with him, while Raph and dad didn’t shy away. With the state Leo was in, it was safer to go at Donnie’s speed.

Resting a hand on Leo’s sweaty forehead, he knelt down, humming a little. “Thank you for protecting him,” he whispered to the ninpo. “But he’s safe here. You can let go.” The tension in the air fell back. There were no more portals, at least. The metals still glowed, and their vibrating went down. The blue flame inside Leo grew smaller. Mikey pressed his forehead against Leo’s, and moved his hand onto the white-knuckled hand about to tear the sheets. “That includes you, you know.” He nudged his ninpo to Leo’s, but it was too fast. Leo whined, straining. He was still in the nightmare. He still believed he experienced the five months of straight torture. He was still fighting. His markings brightened, the objects glowed anew. A thumbtack vibrated itself out of the wall. “Uh no, wrong direction,” Mikey said. “The krang are long gone. Remember? They’re gone. And we are safe. You are safe.” He held onto Leo’s hand. 

His brother gasped, inhaling air like his lungs may never work again. The glow of the objects died off. All that remained was the glow of his markings, and that nightmare. Mikey gripped Leo’s sweaty palm with both hands now. “Come on, big brother. You can let go.”

With a last whimper, his muscles loosened, the glow vanished, and his head lilted to the side in deep rest. He would be sleeping in until lunch now, that was for sure. Smiling, Mikey kissed Leo on the forehead and shut the curtain. He turned and yelped at the sight of Donnie, then slapped his mouth at how loud his surprise was. Wearing his purple hoodie and holding an empty coffee mug, Donnie pointed to the kitchen, and they headed over. Oh boy. Flipping on the lights, Donnie set the mug down and pinched his eyes. “I was going to get you,” he muttered. 

Donnie and Leo could sense each other’s ninpo without even trying. After the krang it took Mikey a year to feel everyone’s power without reaching, and Raph… Mikey nicknamed him “ninpo blind.” He couldn’t feel a thing unless they were all using their ninpo together and within proximity. 

The twins could feel each other’s even as they slept, making their sleep schedules a royal pain after the invasion. But Donnie, unsurprisingly, hadn’t been sleeping. Mikey rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s gonna be mad at me.”

Grabbing the coffee mug, Donnie put it in the sink and humphed, hunching over the dirty dishes. “Probably.”

Tapping his fingers with jittery nerves, Mikey hopped into the air, his orange glow settled on Don’s features as he floated up into his business. “Are you mad at me?”

Donnie flicked his forehead. “I don’t like it when you’re taller than me. Stop it.” He chuckled and set his feet on the floor. Don waved his hand around. “Look, you did the right thing. He was going to portal his entire room to Kentucky if you didn’t stop him. He’s just upset somebody needs to babysit him when he sleeps sometimes.” 

Yet another reason behind his insomnia. As much as he could sense their ninpo, Mikey wished he could also sense when Leo was actually sleeping and when he was faking it. Donnie could tell the difference, but he didn’t want to bother him so much. Plus, he needed sleep as well. 

Mikey’s ninpo sparked and opened a few cabinets. A frying pan floated to the burner, its flame flicked on. Mikey jumped and levitated in place, criss crossing his legs and leaning on a knee. “It’s good to be babysat sometimes. Kind of like Raph, when he goes savage.” Donnie stepped aside as the fridge opened and eggs floated out. He raised a brow. “Uh huh. And kind of like how someone needs to tell you to stop overusing your ninpo.”

He stuck his lips out, making the stupid duck face that made Don always smirk. Sure enough, the lip quirked up. “It’s not overusing if I’m one with it. My mystic mojo flows in these veins, baby. I turn oxygen into magic.” 

He twiddled his fingers and stuck out his tongue. An egg cracked itself and sizzled on the pan. Donnie glared flat faced at him. “Uh huh. You better be making me scrambled.”

Mikey shook his head. “Nope, over easy is for Raph.”

A red head popped out, making Donnie tense at his booming voice. “Someone call for Raph!”

Mikey floated and popped himself right onto his biggest of brother’s shoulders. He propped his chin atop Raph’s head. “Morning! Your eggs are cooking.” He tapped his hands on his head like he was playing the drums. “You feeling bacon or sausage?”

“I’ll take the eggs now and sausage and bacon after the workout.”

Mikey rolled backward and floated back to the over easy eggs. “Kay.” Salt and pepper shook themselves out onto it, then the spatula slid it off and onto a plate. Another egg cracked itself. The pan caught it in time, and the spatula went to work. Laying on his stomach in the air, he kicked his feet while pouting. “You guys didn’t notice.”

Donnie, who leaned against the counter with crossed arms, raised a brow. “Oh, I noticed, I just didn’t say anything.”

With half an egg spilling out of his mouth, Raph turned his blind eye toward Mikey. “Huh?”

He got up in Raph’s face, pointing at his hair. “Haircut! Did it myself, baby! The face is framed now, ya likey?”

Raph gave a thumbs up, slurping the rest of the egg down. Donnie shuddered at the sight and pulled out a new mug. “Are you going to make coffee for me too or should I do it myself?”

Mikey smirked. “I got it.” The coffee grinds pulled themselves out and measured themselves. 

Raph stood up and his plate flew and settled in the sink as he stretched out his arms. “Thanks for warm up breakfast, big man.”

Grinning, Mikey saluted him as he went off to their dojo. Hands found his waist and yanked him back to the ground. “Seriously. You are overdoing it this morning. You just helped Leo out and now you’re,” Donnie waved at the supplies moving themselves, “showing off.”

Mikey giggled and rocked back on his heels. “Sounds to meeee like you’re jellyyy of my mystic mojo.”

Donnie slapped his forehead, taking a deep breath. “Michael. Everyone here wants to be “one with their ninpo” as much as you are. Alright? But for some of us, it feels like learning how to walk all over again. And if all of our ninpo started acting up when we turned twenty, then yours is about to be overdue!”

Mikey stuck his tongue out. “You’re no fun.”

He was met back with a flick on the forehead. “And neither will Leo be in a couple of hours. I’ll let him have the honor of tearing you to shreds.”

They eventually informed Raph what happened, and the rest of the day went smoothly except for at 11 AM. Dad wondered why Leo wasn’t up and went to go shake him awake. All of them jumped and nearly tackled him to the ground. When they informed him, Splinter paled. “Oh dear. This… is not good.”

Sweat slid down Raph’s forehead. “Yeah, pops. So uh, let’s give him space, yeah?”

Splinter paced back and forth. He always got this way when their ninpo acted strange. He would ask the same questions over and over and never find an answer. 

No one in their family experienced this. 

Mikey had spoken with Gram-Gram multiple times. She too didn’t understand it. 

Fun times. 

It was 2 PM when Leo made his appearance. While painting in the living room, Leo snuck behind Mikey and breathed on his neck. “Nice haircut, My.”

He bristled and dropped his brush. “Hey, Lee.” He fully faced him, his grin probably too wide. He never mastered that smile like Leo could. “Wassup?”

Leo wore the dark blue scarf Casey also had made for him. One hand gripped its sweet warmth (Leo did this now for comfort) while the other hand rested on Mikey’s shoulder. Menacingly, Leo hissed, “Let’s talk.”

Gulping, he floated after Leo into the hallway, then glued his feet back down. It’s always better if he didn’t float during an argument. Especially with Leo. Now in their private corner of the hallway, Leo leaned against the wall and rubbed his forehead. He let silence build between them, and Mikey didn’t like it. The words were building and structuring themselves in that brilliant mind. He had no idea what he would say next, whether he would be calm or mad or sad, it was impossible to know. Leo sighed—Mikey was pinned in place by his scowl that bent the scar over his lip. “I know you care about me, I’m grateful for your help, but you can’t be doing that to me, My. It ruins my sleep. It ruins me.” He raised his hands. They trembled. “I’m feeling your scars. Then it’ll be a migraine, then my blood sugar will drop.”

Mikey shook his head. “That was when I was still learning the spell! I got it down like levitation, I’ve done it so many times for everyone.”

Leo grabbed Mikey’s hands. They both were shaking now. “You and I both know this time was different. It’s new, it’s bad, and it came out of seemingly nowhere. It will not react well to your soothing.”

Mikey grit his teeth. Shut his eyes. He hadn’t thought about that. “I’m sorry.” 

Shaking fingers cupped his cheeks, a mirror of what he’d done for Leo. It was like his older brother had felt his touch through it all. Maybe he had. “Hey.” Leo’s soft smile, Mikey’s favorite, widened like dawn cracking the sky in half. He rubbed a thumb under Mikey’s eye. “No tears, now.” A sniffle. A nod. Chuckling, Leo pulled their foreheads together. “I forgive you, My. But be careful from now on.”

“What if it happens again?”

“We’ll find another way.”

“What if you get worse? Like Raph and Donnie?”

Leo pressed a kiss to his forehead, then pulled away. “We’ll find a way.”

Chapter Text

Floating in place helped Michelangelo to focus and tune into his ninpo, taking deep breaths as Splinter directed. The first few times, he was honored dad wanted him to be there for Raph’s practices with his ninpo. While dad led them, Mikey sometimes had something to add. Then he spoke up more. And more. The confidence had grown, and he couldn’t remember when dad backed off to allow him to take over, or how he learned so much so quickly. He wondered if this meant he knew more about ninpo than dad did, or what it could mean in general. Dad still joined, he liked leading them in breathing exercises, which ended with a long sigh, and Mikey gently floated back to the ground. At peace with his ninpo, it almost felt like it was saying I feel recharged now. Sometimes it felt like his mystic powers spoke to him. He imagined the words in his head—it especially helped after the krang’s invasion. 

Ninpo wasn’t just a part of him. It felt like a friend, and that friend was eager for use.

Mikey jumped off the ground to stand and stretched his arms wide, ninpo making his poncho and hair float and glow orange. “Right! Is there something specific you want to work on today, Raph?”

Raph focused on his fingers, tapping them, frowning. He looked like he wanted to hide. If he was the size of Mikey, he wondered if he would still try to hide himself, if he would still try to make himself smaller. If he would become someone easy to forget about when not speaking. No, they would never forget him. Something in Mikey’s ninpo twitched from his thoughts—it barely lasted a second. But in that second, he glanced away from Raph, as though looking for something else to preoccupy himself with. Hm. 

“I don’t…” Raph sighed, his chasm getting oh so big. Mikey just hoped it wouldn’t turn into a Grand Canyon, stretching for miles and separating them. Permanently. Splinter patted his arm, rubbing it a few times and letting him speak. “I just want to be able to go on missions again.” He uncurled his fingers, palms open like flowers in morning light. “Every time I’m in action, this feeling comes to me like second nature… and I’m lost.”

Splinter lowered his hand to Raph’s thigh. “Do you remember anything when it happens?”

Mikey knelt down, focusing on Raph’s eyes. They went wide and unblinking, unbelieving of what was in front of him, because there was something else sprouting in the mind. Poor Raph, the eldest son, the one whose ninpo fell first, the one now fearful of going on missions, the one who should always be fearless, crumbled. “I see flashes.” 

“Do you have flashes of what you saw from the last mission?”

His last mission: one month ago. They hunted down krang infested foot clan members and other humans too. Their bodies weren’t like Raph’s, where he could fight back the control he was placed under. It was after learning that there was no proper cure except death where Raph’s ninpo really went wild. It’s hard. Missions weren’t as fun as they once were. Leo’s snarky comments died, Donnie no longer shouted the names of philosophers er—whatever else he shouted—and Raph feared himself. 

Mikey fought to keep them together. That’d always been his job, and he would keep it still.

Raph’s lip wobbled. Nodded. Mikey scooted closer, hands raising with an orange glow to them. “Let me see.”

He didn’t fight back. He dipped his head for Mikey to place his hands on, and he shut his eyes. And slipped under the surface. 

It was all red. Red. Red. Red and painted blood. Monsters screamed, he screamed back. Destruction. Destruction. Nothing could be whole ever again—

Mikey gasped, pulling away, head throbbing the same way Raph’s did. The aching would dull, but not for Raph. He’d probably be popping pills again in an hour or so. Splinter scratched his chin. “Your ninpo draws from the energy you hold within yourself. Fear is a powerful emotion, and with powerful emotions comes powerful responses within your ninpo. And you are angry at yourself, aren’t you, Red?”

Discussing the trauma still leftover from the apocalypse always occurred again and again with each of them. With Raph, it’s been coming up more often. Years later, and the scars still sting. Mikey clenched his hands until the cracks embedded in his flesh bit back. If he grew stronger, he’d be able to lift every burden from his family so everyone could take a break for once. If he took on their pains, their lives would be easier. Everything would be easier. They could go back to the way they were before. When they had more fun. Raph disrupted Mikey’s thoughts by groaning as he stood. “I really am not in the mood for this. I’ll just go on a walk and meditate more to relax. I need a break from…” he waved a hand everywhere, “this whole situation. But I’ll get back to it! Eventually. Promise.”

“All the more reason to do it now, Red,” Splinter said, staying seated while Mikey stood up. 

If Raph didn’t want to continue now, he wouldn’t push him. He jumped up and floated to tap Raph on the shoulder. “It’s okay! I bet skating will loosen you up. Maybe Donnie will want to join too.”

Raph nodded. “Yeah… yeah, that sounds good.”

They already started walking out, leaving Splinter by himself in the dojo. He raised a skeptical brow, Mikey shrugged with an apologetic grin, then led them to the kitchen where the smell of microwaveable pizza rolls wafted. Donnie sat on a counter hunched over his phone while waiting for his very unhealthy choice of lunch, and from the living room, Leo laid flat on his plastron. His ninpo felt weak. Mikey leapt onto a couch and leaned over him. “How’s the migraine, Lee?” He let out something like a moan and lifted a thumbs up. Mikey tapped his fingers together. “Well, don’t forget to drink juice or something for when your blood sugar drops.” 

His arm flopped pathetically back down. 

“Donnie, want to join us for skating after lunch?” Raph asked.

Mikey stayed on the couch but leaned over the back to watch them in the kitchen. Donnie sighed and set his phone in the pocket of his purple jacket. The microwave beeped, he slid off the counter. “Alright, I suppose I could go a few rounds.”

Leo moaned into the floor, his voice muffled. “I wanna…go too…”

Donnie scoffed. “You’ll fall flat on your face. Bad idea.”

Dad’s voice was a pleasant sound that surprised them all. “If you’re having a bad day, Blue, perhaps tomorrow we can hit our secret spot.”

“WHAT?” Mikey, Donnie, and Raph all shouted. Mikey leapt up and floated in Splinter’s face while Donnie and Raph surrounded him, Raph using big hand gestures and Donnie flapping his hands.

“We haven’t gone to our secret spot in months!”

“Why Leo?”

“I’ve been wanting to go to our spot for ages! I’ve been begging and begging and now—”

“Seriously, Splinter, it’s been months!”

“I mean, seriously? Leo? Is he your favorite, now?”

“Where did I go wrong?”

They stopped at a slapping and squeaking sound and collectively turned to find Leo slapped his hands against the floor and pulled himself toward them at a snail’s pace. Upon reaching the group, he peeled his sweaty head from the floor, a wide grin took up half his face, and he pulled up the middle finger at them. “Suck my dick, suckas.”

The brothers tackled him all at once, kicking and biting until someone accidentally hit Leo’s head, and he wailed about his migraine again. Shortly after, Leo’s blood sugar had terribly dropped, and because the idiot didn’t eat or drink anything before, he fainted. 

So… yeah, he kinda deserved that sweet time with dad after all. 

~

Leonardo kept his hands in the pockets of his dark blue parachute pants, his lighter blue printed kimono flowing behind him with the tail of his scarf while following Splinter into the noodle shop they discovered together about a year ago. Something dad had declared in front of the family was making sure he spent time with each of his sons and designated somewhere that would be their special place. It was dad’s attempt at improving his parenting style—which was to ignore his children and let them take care of their problems all on their own. Splinter had went out to find a special spot that would interest each son, a “secret spot” that took five seconds for Leo to find where everyone else’s was. A long alleyway designated for Mikey’s artwork (Mikey often went by himself, too), a Hidden City gym for Raph and Splinter to work out in (dad was trying to lose weight. He was failing due to all the cake), a shop on the surface secretly run by mutants that had a secret entrance inside holding rare and expensive pieces of tech for Donnie (Donnie would ramble and Splinter would listen without knowing or remembering a thing he said), and a simple noodle shop in the Hidden City for Leo. Noodles and tea unlike any other they’d tried. 

It wasn’t too often they went to their designated spot, but Leo had grown suspicious of papa suddenly wanting to go not long after his nighttime incident. They sat at the table by the window like always, and their waiter came by with a smirk. “Always nice seeing familiar faces,” Phillip the leopard cat yokai said, giving Leo a fist bump. “What can I get ya?”

Leo opened his mouth, but Splinter quickly said, “The usuals! Hehe. You always know.”

Phillip, still smiling, nodded. “Of course.”

Leo tapped his finger against the table to call the attention onto him. “And,” he said, glaring at dad, “I want california rolls.”

Phillip snapped his fingers into a thumbs up. “I gotcha.”

Their waiter went off, and Splinter raised a brow toward Leo. He shrugged. “I’m starving. Any moment longer and I’ll hit the table with my face.” 

He smirked. 

Splinter’s game was pathetic. That’s why he’d never been able to make deals with Big Mama or speak or face any of their more common villains. Too obvious, and Leo and his brothers mystic abilities exploded in power in just the last few years—there was no need for Splinter to help them in the streets anyways. His wisdom and love was what they craved anyway. But moments like these when his father tried to be sneaky, Leo chose to hide the betrayal crawling its way into his heart. He just wanted to spend time and have fun together. 

But papa was tricking him.

He leaned his cheek on his hand and quirked the lazy smile. “How’s that book club you joined?”

Splinter shook his head. “Left it. Too many pages and words! I want a tv show or movie club. It would be much easier. More interesting, too.”

“Yeah, well,” Leo flicked a crumb off the table, watched it skid across the floor, “I’m sure there’s one out there. Or could, I don’t know, find a new hobby.”

The old man crossed his arms. “New hobbies are for the retired! My job still keeps me busy.”

With a roll of the eyes, Leo rested his chin on the back of his hand, fingers waggling. “That job being… what?”

“Protecting my cake from four ravaging turtles! Oh, and passing on everything I know as well. Perhaps that’s more important.”

The air was warm. It helped Leo relax more, forgetting for just a moment what Splinter was doing and said, “Oi! Blame mi hermanos, the only cake I eat is the kind found… on…”

Splinter raised a brow. His eyes dared him to continue. 

Leo tugged on his scarf, sweating. “Heh. Right. Save the joke for when we’re drunk. Got it.”

Splinter smirked at that. “For Orange’s twenty-first, I was thinking of breaking out the sake I recall my mother loved to drink for special occasions. Last time I drank it was after officially beating the Shredder. My joy and love for you boys could not be contained.” 

“Neither could your alcohol. I recall you smelling like vomit in the morning.”

“It was worth it.” Dearest father’s eyes softened. “And everything is worth it for you boys too.”

Leo looked down, smiling and warm in the face and bringing up the scarf to cover the scar over his mouth. Phillip arrived with their food, setting in front of Leo thick udon noodles and the sushi. They both snapped their chopsticks, Splinter quickly dug in, but Leo hesitated. The noodles. After the first three times from eating the udon—one of his favorite foods he’s ever had, second only to pizza—Splinter and him took notice that the same thing happened each time. They joked about it. Laughed and brought it up when he ordered the stuff. 

Ha! Do they mix sleeping pills into those noodles?

What’s in the sauce?

Special sauce…

Geez, Nardo, I’ve never seen you nap like that.

Dude, dad and I ate at this one place, and the udon was so good and just heavy in my stomach, ya know? I had to get those beauty Z’s in!

Haha! That’s the third time, Blue. Is our waiter poisoning you?

Nah, the udon is just that good, I swear. It’s just like you with your cake. 

His eye twitched. 

It was only his second day of no sleep. 

Tap. Tap. Tap.  

And dad was already trying so hard.

Tap. Tap. Tap. He tap tap tapped his chopsticks against the bowl, mixing the noodles and watched the sauce slide down the ceramic sides. Special sauce. He bit down on his tongue. Tap tap tapped his chopsticks. Clicked them and snapped them together without thought, and Splinter cleared his throat. “Your noodles will go cold.”

Leo set the chopsticks down. “You brought me here to get me to sleep tonight, so I’ll say this bluntly: nuh uh. Not happening. Sorry not sorry I would rather swallow Krang tentacle—”

“Blue—”

“—than fall asleep tonight or tomorrow or the day after that or the day after that. Never sleeping again. Nope.” 

Splinter picked up two gyoza, both perfectly balanced between two perfectly broken apart perfect perfect chopsticks everything was just perfect. “You will lose to your body.”

Leo took the chopsticks and snatched up a california roll, waving it with irritation. “I’ve been losing since the apocalypse, baby! I grew out of my winning phase anyway.” He bit into and chewed the sushi roll and picked up another, this time, aiming it at Splinter and saying with a full mouth, “You should try it sometime. Feels less stressful when you know ahead of time that you’re gonna lose.”

Splinter’s hairy eyebrow twitched like before, but it wasn’t the same. This one felt threatening. “Then you should admit defeat now and sleep anyways.”

“Nah, I’m gonna stick it out.”

“Blue!” The chopsticks snapped onto the table. 

He raised his arms in a shrug. “What? At least I’m telling you the truth, right? You rather I lie and put makeup on my eyebags again?”

“You better not.”

Leo rolled his eyes and waved a hand dismissively. “Oh please, I ran out of that shade anyways. Mikey promised he’d come with me to the makeup store in the Hidden City. Concealer of every color, every shade, there’s even brands for anyone with fur. Wanna look younger, pops? I think you can pull off some eyeliner, too.”

“Please be serious, Blue, and sleep—”

“Hey, I am serious!” He wagged a finger at his father. “Just because eyeliner is typically shown to express femininity doesn’t mean it can’t be used in a masculine manner. It makes the eyes pop, pops. Well, if your eyebrows get any bigger soon you won’t be able to see, and then it won’t matter. But look at this.” He pointed to his lower lash line. “See that? Barely anything, but now everyone is drawn to my pretty eyes.” He batted his lashes a few times. “You didn’t even notice, did you?”

Splinter tapped a finger on the table, thoughtfully studying his eyes now. “Well, now that you’ve pointed it out, no, I hadn’t noticed at all. Huh. Ah—Blue! Stop distracting me!” Leo smirked and leaned back in his chair. “Just because it happened the other night doesn’t mean it will happen again. And I don’t want to see my son destroy himself over worries. I don’t… I don’t want you to turn back into who you were after we finally got you back.”

Leo’s fingers curled, nails digging into his thighs. “Dad, drop it now.”

But he only seemed more eager to keep talking. “The last time you deprived yourself of rest your screams kept us up—”

“Dad.”

“You think I’d rather have that than a few extra portals? I don’t want to see you experiencing your flashbacks, I don’t want to see you suffer over—”

Leo forced his papa to stop speaking by raising a paperclip, the little metal pulsed a dull blue. He felt like his eyes were on fire, his hand shook with the urge to drop it. “If we speak of this anymore, I’m out of here.” Just one twitch of the finger, the paperclip would fall, and he’d disappear through the portal and arrive back home ready to take out his stash of caffeine pills and make sure he didn’t need a restock of epinephrine. Get his own stash of coffee, maybe buy his own coffee machine. Ewe, he’d turn exactly into Donnie. Guess it was inevitable.

Splinter raised both his hands. “Pocket that, I… I won’t bring it up again.”

Leo zipped it back into his side pouch and crossed his arms, waiting for papa to restart the conversation. Whatever Splinter said to try to convince him, he could argue better, he had the better solution. He wouldn’t be convinced by the rat. He wouldn’t.

Dad looked like melted ice cream, slumped in his chair, looking down. “I… I already know my words aren’t doing anything for you, are they?”

Leo didn’t make eye contact. He melted into the scarf, pulling it up again. He wouldn’t fall for anything anymore. His body was weak, but he’d find every way to keep it awake. He wouldn’t be weak. 

Not anymore. 

~

Mikey sensed Leo’s portal at the entrance of the lair, felt him coming closer. The agitation was strong. “How was it?” he tentatively asked. 

He didn’t expect Leo to be holding leftovers, so much udon filled the plastic container. “Wasn’t that hungry,” he said with a shrug. “You can have the noods if you want them.”

Mikey shook his head. “Please don’t call them that ever again.”

“I thought you loved it when you got noods?”

Mikey smacked his arm, Leo raised his hands in chopping mode. “Come on, no need to be embarrassed!” They both found openings to chop the other, Mikey got a good hit on his shoulder and Leo shouted for it to echo, “MIKEY, STOP HITTING ME OVER YOUR NOODS!”

“STOP SHOUTING!” Raph came in, vibrating the room and making Mikey and Leo stop. Mikey rubbed his aggravated tympana. Raph waved. “Raph’s going out on a walk. Later.”

“Be careful,” Mikey said.

“If there’s anyone out there asking for Mikey’s noods, tell them they’ll have to speak to his manager—”

Mikey chopped him in the face, he held his snout with tears in his eyes. “Ow! Not the face!”

Donnie’s head poked in, a mischievous grin splayed up. “Mikey, you’re selling nudes?”

“No! Drop it already!”

Raph laughed, saying he’ll be back in an hour.

Mikey tuned into Raph’s ninpo. It could’ve been the natural worry he held towards his brother, or the unknown fears he always imagined crawling in the shadows… but he never wanted Raph to leave.  

Silly of him, to think something would happen.

Chapter Text

I was waiting. Testing. Picking apart what I could grab. I am expanding, and the tests are now over. 

It’s time…

I’m crawling inside you, writhing beneath you

(where is your heart, where is your mind?)

I smell it, your fear

(can I come inside, may I come in?)

I know your eyes, I’ve seen them many times before 

(I found the door, I’m coming in—)

Oh, this power, this soul

(are you hungry? how much do you desire?)

You four need nothing more

(than me me me me)

Come to me in your anger, bloody red one,

(I’ll swallow you whole, take your pain)

(lost boy, puppet boy)

Come to me in your searches, purple as night,

(You’ll find me inside you, behind your eyes)

(stuck boy, puppet boy)

Come to me in your sleep, deep shade of water,

(I’ll open you up, emotion will be for naught)

(doorway boy, puppet boy)

And come to me awake,

you slice of orange, hint of sunlight,

and I will place a crown on your head,

make you most powerful of all.

You will love me as you always have,

you will take me without question.

We will start anew, the five of us,

beginning with 

Y༙྇O༙྇U༙྇

Heh. They’re going to love this.

~

Mikey gasped, his spray paint bottle fell and rolled and clunked aside. He waited. He listened. He ran from the alleyway. Leapt down into the sewers and flew to the lair.

He found the twins in bean bags back to back, Leo reading a comic and Donnie on his laptop. Mikey entered breathless and wheezed, “Where’s Raph? I can’t feel his ninpo.”

Chapter Text

Leo was quick to split them up, asking Donnie and Splinter to search the sewers while he and Mikey went above searching the neighborhood. Leo portaled them to high rooftops and flipped out his phone. “Apes, Raph is missing. He hasn’t been picking up our calls and none of us can feel his ninpo. Can you and Casey and Casey help us look?”

Mikey raised a hand to the sky and swirled golden light, tracing bright words into air, levitating to make them even bigger. Leo watched the distant skyscrapers, calculated eyes flicking with April’s response. “Yeah. Yeah. He said he was going on a walk and about an hour later Mikey said his ninpo was gone. Yeah, like poof. Just get out here and help us, alright? Check the Hidden City, Mikey and I’ve got wide range. Mmhmm. Later.” Leo pocketed his phone. “Alright, My, let’s, oh, that’s quite nice.”

The trail of light he’d drawn spelled out large in the sky RAPH MEET US HERE with an arrow pointing down at the rooftop, and in smaller letters it said please :3.

Mikey put his hands on his hips, proud of the work. “Ain’t no way he can’t not not not not? See this!”

Leo casually swept his sword to form a portal, blue light shone like a spotlight on them. “Too many nots there, Mikes. You joining or flying?”

He levitated higher. “I’ll fly.” 

“Sick. You know what to do if you see anything.”

He finger gunned Mikey before stepping backward into the portal. It opened a ways away in the middle of the sky, and his badass older brother skydived to search for Raph. Show off. Mikey leapt the opposite direction, soaring lower to see if any smaller signs may have been left behind. It was strange, for Raph’s ninpo to abruptly cut off while leaving to go out on his own. That never happened. Could ninpo really do that? Just… stop? He glanced back nervously at Leo, who opened another portal before he hit the ground and another formed further away, making him skydive again and again. What if something happened to Leo while they were separated? Donnie’s was already fragile and going insane anytime they went out, what if Leo lost control of his? And what about Mikey’s? It was always so reliable…

Why now?

Shaking his head, he cupped his hands around his mouth. “Raph! It’s Mikey! Are you here?” He swept over the playground where they first met Warren Stone. “Raaaaaphie?”

Nothing.

 He settled down on the grass and shut his eyes, focusing on ninpo alone. Fierce blue flame, close by. Push past it. Purple glitching across his mind, unstable and not in current use. Push past it. Deeper. Deeper into the darkness. Deeper through the tide, through the waves of power, he had to be in there somewhere. It couldn’t just disappear, it couldn’t just vanish… 

There.

Mikey gasped when he saw it, felt it. The bright red was murky, cracked, slow moving, small, barely holding on. It glitched like Donnie’s, but worse. It looked like Raph’s ninpo was corrupted. And he felt it… 

Mikey opened his eyes. “Why is it so close?”

He heard the swish before automatically ducking, the punch swung over his face. Mikey laughed. “Nice try, Raphie, you’ll have to try harder than that to get me.” He kicked his legs up and relaxed on the air, but frowned. Raph was panting, like he’d been running. His arms trembled. His eyes… they had the red glow of his ninpo, but… 

No. This was wrong.

Horrible, rotting dread filled Mikey’s chest. He shot his hand toward the sky and set out a massive golden firework for Leo, who would contact the others. Raph flinched at the light, peeled his lips back with a snarl. Mikey trembled. “Alright, Raph, you’re not alone anymore, the savagery is long gone, it’s time to head back home…”

Raph’s head snapped to the side, his teeth gnashed, his fingers curled, and then he smiled, eyes still glowing. It wasn’t him. That grin was too cruel. He spoke, his voice was one out of thousands, ringing loud in Mikey’s skull, he wanted to shrink away from its echo.

“My sunlight. Where is the night, where is the water?”

The voice had power. He wanted to shrink under it, something in him filled with the inherent need… to bow to it. A tear fell from Raph’s cheek. Gasping for air, Mikey fell to his knees. Powerless. He felt powerless. What corrupted Raph’s ninpo? And why did it feel… so familiar? Tears filled his own eyes, he wanted to fight the being and he wanted to hug it, to hold it close. His hands trembled. What was this thing? 

Mikey gasped out, “I don’t know.”

Raph knelt down. His single tear had already dried away. The being controlling his older brother patted Mikey’s head. “You are lying, sunlight. Sorry, but that was a test.” Raph’s head playfully tilted to the side. “You and I always know where they are.” He pointed a finger a few feet away from them. “They are coming. Right. There.”

A portal snapped open in the space, Leo and Donnie dropped out of it, weapons raised. “Raph, Mikey, what are you…” Leo stopped, paused at seeing Mikey on his knees, then he too must have felt it. The power. The emotion that came with it. Tears filled his eyes. “This is wrong,” he whispered.

Donnie retreated a step, bo staff keeping distance between them. “Mikey, I think we need dad with us for this.”

Raph laughed, the voices made them cringe. So loud. It made Mikey’s heart hammer against his plastron, he shuddered at how it scraped his eardrums. “I need you with me for this to work,” he hissed. “Right, Leonardo?”

He snapped his fingers.

Leo’s markings and eyes flashed blue, only for a second, and as they faded his eyes rolled back and his body went limp. Donnie cried out and caught him, Mikey ran to his side, panicking. How could he do that? What was this thing? How was any of this possible? 

“Let doorway boy get his sleep, my sunlight.”

He touched Leo’s forehead. His ninpo was okay… the being was right, he was just asleep. He shielded Leo with his body while Donnie stood up as their offense. “Whatever you are, get out of Raph’s body,” he snapped. The rage made him tremble.

Raph opened his arms, mocking. “You are not fit to fight, stuck boy, fragile toy.”

Donnie’s markings flared. “I’m not. Fragile.”

The electrical wires from nearby utility poles burned purple, then sparks flew off of them. Mikey yelped, holding onto Leo tighter. “Careful, Donnie!” he said. “We don’t know what we’re up against. I don’t want to leave Raph, but…”

This being is more powerful than us.

But Donnie already knew that. He kept glancing down at Leo’s limp form then back at Raph. His breaths turned steady, Mikey could see the gears turning in that big beautiful brain. “Why did you go for Raphael first?” 

Mikey’s breath hitched. He was trying to get information. Learn something from it. Donnie seemed so much more put together, Mikey felt fallen to pieces. Why am I such a mess? 

“Well, I thought it was obvious, out of the four of you, get him out of the way, then… ohohohooo…” It was strange, hearing a strange laugh from Raph’s mouth, then see him playfully wag his finger back and forth. “Nice, try, Donatello, I know how you work! You won’t get that much out of me. I think you deserve a punishment for that.”

He snapped his fingers again.

“No!” Mikey cried out.

Donnie’s markings and eyes lit up his signature purple, and every lamppost, utility pole, even a nearby building, every piece of technology within Donnie’s power range went haywire. Light bulbs exploded. Sparks flew and buildings consecutively lost their power, all while Donnie’s body seized, eyes rolled back, until he too collapsed to the ground. Powerless. They were powerless. Hugging the twins, Mikey gasped for air. Why did he still feel like he knew this being? Why did he want to embrace it? Love it? 

Not-Raph smirked as though he knew his thoughts. “Don’t worry about them, sunlight. Just focus on having fun, ‘kay?”

Raph tapped his finger to his forehead, and he was falling.

Through darkness.

He fell into the dark and he wasn’t afraid of it.

Because on the other side he knew was a beautiful field, sweet, where there was warmth and so much sunlight and a friend on the other side, one who waved his hand, motioned for him to follow. 

“Come on, Mikey!”

Golden grass, yellow sky, he’d never felt happier.

Or more powerful.

“I’m coming,” he called back, to what, he didn’t exactly know, but whatever it was, he knew he wanted to follow wherever it went.