Chapter Text
Bart hovered in excitement as he watched Bianca begin to stock up the dining room table with an impressive amount of food. He couldn’t help but wonder fleetingly if she’d done some research on speedster’s and their metabolisms, or whether this was just her way of being generous. Either way, he was extremely lucky and grateful.
And that’s when an alarming realization had hit him.
He’d forgotten to bring a gift for the host.
“Oh my god!”
Bianca instantly turned around with concern, barely managing not to drop the casserole dish she was nursing within a pair of oven mitts.
“Is everything okay?”
“I’m so sorry! I just realized I forgot to bring a gift for you guys! That’s so moded of me!”
After a huge breath of relief, the mother of two smiled reassuringly, “It’s okay. I’m just glad you were able to join us.”
“Me too… but it’s totally not okay. That’s like the first rule of guest etiquette!” Shaking his head in disbelief and shame, he began striding towards the door before beaming apologetically. “I’m just going to run to the shops and grab something. I’ll be back in a flash!”
Before Bianca could even open her mouth to tell the speedster not to worry, Bart was gone.
A few moments later, she chuckled to herself before setting the dish down in the center of the table. As she returned to the kitchen to retrieve the tortillas, the front door creaked at a normal speed as it was opened and closed. She was almost positive that it was her son, because she hadn’t even heard Bart use the door during his speedy departure.
Leaning towards the entryway, she raised her voice in question, “Jaime, ¿eres tú?”
“¡Sí!”
Bianca smiled to herself and made quick work of dishing up the tortillas before her son appeared in the entryway. Upon spotting Jaime’s black t-shirt and jeans, she hummed to herself in disapproval. He was definitely going to be the most underdressed person at the dinner table, but then she remembered that Bart had decided to wear her son’s old jacket, so they’d basically be matching; and that was good enough for her.
Then she suddenly remembered that Jaime was still yet to find out about her having invited his secret boyfriend over in the first place. She sincerely hoped that he’d gotten plenty of rest during the day, because her son was good at being grumpy on the best of days, let alone when he was tired and exhausted. With a sweet smile, she beckoned over the hero for a hug.
“¿Dormiste bien?”
Jaime nodded absentmindedly as he began to notice the feast in the other room. After walking across the room to give his mother a brief hug, he studied the table in confusion.
“Is Pa back from Chicago? Is that why you asked me to come over for dinner?”
Bianca shook her head, and took a deep breath.
“No… I-”
Jaime stopped listening to his mother as the beetle chirped urgently on his spine, and he quickly took a protective stance in front of his mother. In the second it took for him to armor up and aim a plasma cannon at the kitchen’s entrance, a familiar face suddenly appeared in the entryway, and his eyes widened as he stopped breathing.
“Bart?!”
The speedster simply grinned at him and leaned against the doorway before raising a bottle of whiskey and shaking it gently in his hand as if showing off a trophy.
“Hey Blue… Is that really how you’re going to greet your boyfriend? By pointing a weapon of mass destruction at him when he’s just brought over an extremely expensive bottle of whiskey.”
Jaime blinked hard and tried to piece together what the heck was happening, but he just ended up short circuiting and getting a headache instead.
[“Apologies, Jaime Reyes. This scarab’s threat assessment protocols were... overzealous… in this instance. The Bart Allen’s velocity exceeded scanning capabilities. Recommended tactic: recalibrate threat detection algorithms for speedster-class entities.”]
Ducking his head towards his shoulder, Jaime hissed at the bug, “¡Por favor, cállate!”
Bart smirked at the scene, finding it rather endearing as he always did.
“It’s so cute when you talk to the bug out loud.”
Jaime felt himself blushing and took a moment to be grateful that his face was hidden behind his armor. It was only then that he’d recovered enough from his shock to transform the plasma cannon back into an arm and lower it ready to ask questions; but he remained suited up, still completely distrustful of his current situation and reality in general.
“Uh, Bart… What are you doing here?” As the reticle in his digital visor locked onto Bart’s chest, he paused to add yet another question. “And why are you wearing my old jacket?”
Bart chuckled and shoved off the door before approaching the armored man with the slowest of footsteps. As he began explaining his presence, he felt himself becoming more smug with each step. It was actually starting to bring out the showman in him.
“Well… It was really sweet actually. Your Mom called the Flash Museum and asked to speak with me. Naturally, I was curious, so I gave her a call. And you could imagine my surprise when she told me that you told her that we’ve been dating in secret for six months …”
As Jaime stiffened in horror at the realization of what had transpired, Bart flirtatiously dragged a fingertip down his armored forearm, the one that had just been a lethal weapon only moments ago. It made him wonder whether the speedster was actually attracted to his alter-ego; or whether his crush was the best actor in the world.
Either way, he forced himself to pay attention as Bart continued prattling on.
“She asked me to come over and meet your family over dinner… So, here I am! Oh, and I have to say, your mother and sister are delightful .”
Jaime didn’t know what to say, especially now that his mother had walked around from behind him to observe the two of them with a hopeful expression. First and foremost, he wanted to apologize to Bart profusely. Giving his mother a piece of his mind for meddling would have to wait until after he’d smoothed things over with the speedster; which he couldn’t do until the pair were alone and had privacy.
“Hey, uh, cariño,” Jaime paused to clear his itchy throat. “Can I speak to you privately for a moment?”
Bart smirked at the nervous delivery of the nickname before confidently sliding his hand into that of the armored one.
“Sure thing babe. Always happy for one-on-one time with you.”
As Jaime eagerly dragged Bart out of the kitchen, he wondered whether Bart’s superpowers had rubbed off on him somehow because he’d never moved so quickly in his life. After locking his bedroom door behind him, he finally armored down and turned to begin begging for forgiveness, but he was interrupted by Bart flailing and turning into a stunned statue first.
“Woah…” Bart licked his lips, his suddenly very dry lips. “You have got to be kidding me.”
Jaime wiped a hand over his face in mortification, not even sure where to begin.
“I know… I am so sorry that you got dragged into this mess. You must think I’m insane...”
“ Uh… Yeah! Insanely, hot .”
Jaime blinked and did a double-take, “¿Qué?”.
“Like, I can’t believe that you’ve been hiding all of this ,” Bart paused to gesture in a roundabout way at Jaime’s face and body, “under your armor.”
“Uh… ¿Sí?”
Bart resisted the urge to grab one of the nearby comic books on Jaime’s nightstand and fan himself with it to cool down. In fact, even the reminder that Jaime was also into science fiction had him eyeing the man up and down even more hungrily.
“Oh yeah… This is going to be a fun night.”
Jaime was majorly overwhelmed, oscillating between feelings of confusion and flattery, but it all turned to panic as the speedster walked towards the exit of the room. He hurriedly grabbed onto Bart’s wrist and tried to reason with the speedster.
"Bart, you don't have to go through with this. I mean, I appreciate that you didn't tell my Mom that I lied, but... this whole boyfriend act? For a whole night? I can't ask you to go along with that just because I messed up, ese."
Bart chuckled at the man’s obliviousness, “You do realize that I think you’re totally crash, right? Like big time?"
Jaime’s heart stuttered in hope, “You do?”
“Doi.” Without further ado, Bart leaned deep into the man’s personal space and slid his arms around the muscular, tanned neck; which was the only thing distracting him from daring the man to kiss him. “You’re brave, and smart, and you care about your friends and family. How could I not be into that? Plus, your accent is muy caliente .”
Jaime cringed a little at the pronunciation, but he set that aside in favor of wanting to live up to the title of bravery that Bart had just bestowed upon him. After taking a deep breath, he began to slide his hands around Bart’s waist, freezing when the locked door knob began jiggling behind him.
A moment later, Milagro’s inquisitive voice pierced through the closed door.
“Are you two kissing in there?”
Jaime immediately groaned in embarrassment, mourning the loss of his dignity and Bart’s warmth as the speedster stepped away to double over in laughter.
“¡AY! GO AWAY , MILAGRO!”
“But Mamá said it’s time for dinner!”
“We’ll be down in a minute!”
With the best laugh he’d had in months out of his system, Bart stood upright again and wandered over to Jaime’s old bed before taking a seat and patting the empty spot beside him, but the owner didn’t come. Jaime seemed frozen in place, but he wasn’t going to let that deter him. He had a number of questions that he wanted the Blue Beetle to answer, and he wanted the answers sooner rather than later.
With an encouraging smile, Bart leaned back on his wrists and began his search.
“So, Blue… Spill! Why the secret boyfriend act? And why pick the fastest guy alive?” He paused and smirked at the man, “Not that I'm complaining."
Jaime sighed knowing that Bart deserved the whole truth, no matter how dramatic it made his actions look.
“Ma was threatening to set me up on a blind date.”
“I see,” Bart nodded in sympathy. “That’s a totally moded and retro way of meeting people. But that still doesn’t answer my second question, Blue. Why me?”
Jaime swallowed thickly at the curious gaze of emeralds across the room, and ultimately found courage even in the face of immense fear. All it took was an internal reminder that confessing his feelings was one of the least scary things he had to contend with compared to some of his superhero duties.
“I- I like you. And I have for a while. I don’t know… you’ve always just seemed so full of life...”
Bart smirked dangerously, “Maybe later tonight, I’ll be full of something else too?”
As Jaime choked and made an effort to avoid eye contact, Bart laughed and took mercy on the poor man.
“Calm down, Blue. I’m kidding.”
Bart waited a beat before Jaime chanced a look at him again to conclude his sentiment.
“Mostly…”
Jaime wasn’t sure if he could afford to get any redder in the face and tried to get things back on track, “Bart-”
“I know, I know. In all seriousness, I am happy to move at whatever speed you’re comfortable with. After all, I am a speedster.”
“Gracias.”
“That being said,” Bart paused and took the opportunity to zip across the room and lean against the wall, taunting Jaime with his proximity. “Bianca’s a lot more likely to believe that we’re boyfriends if you show at least some amount of physical affection towards me.”
[“The Bart Allen's assessment is accurate. Typical human mating behavior after 180 days includes physical contact protocols including the interlocking of hands, proximity of torsos, and oral interface. Recommend tactic: initiate these actions to maintain the facade.”]
Jaime groaned and immediately tilted his head to hiss over his shoulder at the bug, “It’s called ‘kissing’ Scarab! Not ‘oral interface’! And Bart might not be comfortable with that!”
Bart held a fist up in front of his grin, barely managing to contain his laugh before contributing to the conversation he could only hear half of.
“I can assure you I’m comfortable with oral interfacing of any kind, Blue.”
Jaime sighed and checked out of the argument brewing in the back of his mind, before the gravity of Bart’s words hit him. The temperature of the room began to increase significantly as he imagined kissing Bart for the first time; which is something he’d only ever dreamed about.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, we can practice right now if you’re game?”
“I’m game,” Jaime whispered back breathlessly.
After a few intense seconds of staring, Bart surrendered to impatience and gently crowded the other man against the wall and leaned up to press their lips together.
That was all Jaime needed to prompt him into action.
Running on instinct, he quickly reversed their positions and tentatively sought permission to taste the speedster’s mouth, which was freely granted. After sweeping his tongue against Bart’s, the both of them moaned in the backs of their throats.
Distantly, Jaime was aware that they were moving too fast and figured he should draw a line in the sand. The pair of them hadn’t even gone on a real date before, and this dinner was basically their first unofficial one. But if he was certain of anything, it was that their chemistry was palpable.
Nobody was going to have trouble believing they were an item if they kept kissing like this.
With a heavy heart, he pulled back for air and rested his forehead against Bart’s before sharing in the heated air that was their mingled breaths.
“Dios. Quiero hacer eso de nuevo.”
Bart grinned deliriously in return, “I have no idea what you just said, but… I agree.”
The pair looked down at one another’s lips again before Bianca’s shrill, motherly voice echoed from all the way downstairs reminding them of dinner. After taking a deep breath, Jaime grabbed Bart’s hand and interlocked their fingers.
“Are you sure you still want to do this?”
Bart chuckled before pouring all his lust into four electrically-charged words.
“You have no idea.”