Chapter Text
It all starts to go sideways when one Betty Cooper slides up to Jughead in the cramped booth at Pop Tates.
He's just trying to enjoy his rather tall stack of burgers and not getting interrupted.
She's all cheerful nerves and flitting eyes, normal for Betty Cooper. But what wasn't normal was how she was looking at him directly in the eyes, so intently, like he was an animal on display at the zoo exhibiting particularly interesting behaviors.
He didn't like it. Not one bit.
"So…Jughead. The Valentine's dance is this Friday?" Betty said like it was a question when it was more of a general statement.
"Yeah? It is." Jughead answered with a frown.
"Well… I was wondering, um, if you'd go with me to it." she asked like it was a statement when really it was more of a vague question.
The burger in his mouth started to taste like ash. Never a good sign.
"Um…" Jughead paused.
And he doesn't know what to say.
Really.
"Can I get back to you on that, in say 3 to 5 business days, to process this?" he said as he gulped down the tasteless burger. Gross.
She laughed like it's a joke and looked at him, eagerly expecting an answer he doesn't have yet.
"It's in a couple days, so I don't think I've got that much time to wait on your response. Sort of an urgent matter." Betty joked back.
But he did mean it; he wasn't joking. He really doesn't know what to think about this.
"Ah, right. Well…uh." he trailed off.
He's never liked Betty that way, but maybe in time, if he went to the dance with her, he'll learn to? That's why people go out right, to get to know each other. That's what regular teenagers are supposed to do.
At least, that's what people tell him anyways.
But they've known each other their whole lives, what would going out once possibly change? And she probably didn't mean it like that anyways, it's just a friend thing, yeah.
But she's looking at him so happy, he never likes to be the cause of her frowning, and now her face is starting to fall more with every second that he's been quiet for too long.
Shit.
"So?" Betty said expectantly, fiddling with her fingers, still looking right at him. Striking blue eyes pinning him down like a particularly hungry bird going in for her prey.
"Uhhh," he said eloquently, "Yeah, I guess. Sure, why not?"
Why not indeed.
She finally looked away.
His relief at not having those sharp eyes on him is short lived.
“And there's going to be a huge buffet!”
“Well, why didn't you lead with that?”
Betty upends his begrudging acceptance with a wide grin, a far too tight uncomfortable hug he just couldn't flinch away from, and the disturbing proclamation of, "It's a date!"
Oh boy. Here we go.
A "date". Surely, she meant in the rhetorical friend sort of way. Of course, this was not a real date. Just a friend thing.
Yeah, that's how she meant it. It had to be.
Jughead didn't want to consider the alternative.
That he was going on a capital-D Date to a Valentine's dance with Betty Cooper.
-
The only good thing about this mess is the free buffet available to those that attend the dance. And due to one Cheryl Blossom being head of the dance committee, the rule is you can't come stag, you have to have a date to go. No exceptions.
Guess no one is allowed to be single anymore in Riverdale High. What a shame.
Did Jughead know about this before Betty had asked him?
Yes.
Did he sort of assume that was why she asked him?
Kind of, yeah.
He didn't think she actually wanted to go out with him, just that he was the closest friend that she knew didn't have a date to the thing.
And he figured the the real reason they were going was to support Archie's gig at the dance with the Pussycats. So as far as he was aware, this was purely a date of circumstance. A parlay of convenience. A something of something. Whatever.
Point is, had he known the mess it would snowball into, he would have backed out as soon as he heard the dreaded words "Valentine's dance".
-
One thing to know about Jughead, is that he hates having to get all dressed up for anything with a passion usually reserved for enjoying burgers, comics, and decidedly not sticking his head into affairs he doesn't belong to.
He just doesn't like being forced out of his usual comfortable clothes to wear unusual uncomfortable clothes. Not for the stupid dance, not for stupid weddings, not for any stupid event.
This was way too much for just any old school dance.
But this dance had a black tie dress code as well. Truly, he was cursing Cheryl for this entire thing.
The bane of his existence.
And cursing her for the fact that he was forced into wearing the one and only boring uncomfortable suit he had that itched right in the back of his neck. And the jacket sleeves were just too tight and the pants too short. And the shirt too big that got scrunched and pinched with the too tight jacket. And with the shoes, he was almost as bad as Archie, the level of clumsiness he took on while wearing those pointed toe disasters.
It felt too small and too large, not right, choking his skin and grating his nerves thin.
He hated this he hated this he hated this.
Just.
He took a deep breath.
Think of the food… the cakes and the little pigs in a blanket and meatballs and mac and cheese and marshmallows…yum.
At least he didn't have to wear a tie. Well, he did, but he had just yanked it off the first moment he could and stuffed it in his pocket. It was like a noose hanging around his neck, just waiting to be grabbed and tightened. No thank you, not taking any chances.
This buffet had better be worth it.
Oh and being there for Archie, yeah that too.
And Betty…
-
They had decided to just meet in front of the school gym the dance was at, then go in together. It was easier that way. Easier for who? Jughead didn't know, but he was quietly relieved this wasn't a real date and therefore he didn't have to try to pick her up at her house. Boy was that a conversation with her parents he wanted to avoid at all costs.
Betty had dressed up to the nines.
A flowy pastel lavender and pink floral dress with a matching thin shawl-thing hanging off her arms that did absolutely nothing to protect her against this harsh end-of-winter weather. Her hair out of its signature ponytail for once, and was all primped and curled around her shoulders. Little silver dots of jewelry adorned her earlobes and neck. She probably had some makeup on too.
He should compliment her. That's what he was supposed to do right? Even if this wasn't a date-date, it was still the nice thing to do?
She looked at him, with a sweet smile. Eyes all sharp blue, that seemed to soften as they met his. He tried his best to maintain eye contact with her for an appropriate amount of time, playing the 15 second long captain hero show ad break in his head to measure the time, before immediately glancing away. That was definitely enough for the entire night, right? They didn't have to look at each other much more than that?
She had probably taken all day to look so… shiny? Yeah. Shiny. That was an accurate statement.
"So…What do you think? How do I look?" Betty blushed, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. Huh, she must be pretty cold, blushing that much already. That outfit was not very weather appropriate it seemed.
"Well, you look…uh." Jughead started then trailed off. Was shiny an appropriate word to describe the girl friend that he was-but-absolutely-wasn't on a date with?
"Aw, he's too stunned for words!" she giggled into her hand, then subtly reached the other one out to take his hand into hers.
He swiftly shook her hand, thinking that she was going in for a friendly, but quick handshake. Easy. This wasn't so bad.
She gave him a puzzled look that interfered with her cheery smile, just a bit.
She still was holding onto his hand.
He shuddered involuntarily at the more prolonged contact, glaring daggers into their intertwined hands. His hand felt like it was slowly burning up and itching and freezing up all at once being held so much like that. How long was she going to do this for. Does he ask her to pretty please let go, their handshake had ended a while ago? Or will it sort itself out eventually? What does he do? He really doesn't want to be rude about it, but it was making his skin crawl and his face scrunch up.
She looked at him expectantly.
Oh wait, she asked him a question. Uh… shit what does he think?
…
…
…
"Shiny." Jughead finally said, confidently nodding. No, it fits. She was shiny after all.
"Huh?" Betty's smile faltered, just a bit more, as his hand fell out of her grasp.
Oh thank god. He didn't have to do anything it seemed.
Jughead stuck his hands into his pants pockets where they wouldn't be grabbed at anymore. Check and mate.
"Yeah, you're very shiny." Jughead reiterated. Maybe she just hadn't heard him the first time.
"Shiny?" her shiny lips pursed.
"Like, you know, your hair, and shoes, and… all. Why are you looking at me like that," he sighed, well he tried at least, "what is it. What."
"No nothing," she said, finally stifling a laugh, "it's very sweet. Thank you, um you look quite… shiny yourself."
"Ugh, Gag me with a spoon. You two are too cute. Going to take up the sidewalk all night, are you?" Cheryl Blossom rudely interrupted, stepping out of a limo clad in a vibrant cherry red dress with a huge slit down the side and classy matching heels. Not shiny.
Jughead truly wished someone would take her up on the offer and gag her.
"Babe, you know we're the cuter couple." Toni Topaz was on her arm, in a nicely cut suit with a red button up matching Cheryl's dress to a tee. Also not shiny.
Wait, was he supposed to match Betty? He hadn't even thought of it. He just threw on the most clean smelling shirt that just happened to be close enough. The stark green of his shirt clashed with Betty's baby pink and pastel purple dress, just a little bit.
"We're not a-" Jughead had started to correct her about her preconceived notions on their relationship.
"Move it or lose it, losers." Cheryl snapped.
"Jeeze, who died and made you prom queen? The devil?" Jughead hissed.
"Cheryl, this is the line to get into the dance. So we kind of have to be here." Betty gestured to the gaggle of teens in front of them, far too nice for her own good.
"Ugh. Whatever," she seemed flustered, having just realized it, "I knew that."
"Wait in line like everyone else, princess." Betty jabbed him in the gut for that one.
Worth it just to see Cheryl's face turn the same shade of red as her dress though.
-
Finally making it through the check in line, and the gym was nigh unrecognizable. Dark and moody red and pink lighting obscured the corners where teenagers were probably just chilling out away from the very loud annoying party and probably not kissing and stuff behind the indoor bleachers at all. Enormous glittery plastic hearts were hung like nooses from the rafters. The makeshift stage covered with red and pink painted hearts, and what looked suspiciously like confetti cannons manned the sides. The stages DJ booth was playing music louder and more sappy than anything Jughead has ever heard in his life. It was grating against his already frayed nerves. Streamers and heart balloons littered the basketball court floor, as teens tossed and kicked the balloons around.
Jughead started immediately eagerly looking around for the buffet table, but overly gussied up students and plainly dressed faculty were all that he could find through the sea of reds and pinks.
Ah well. He'd find it eventually, it was fate after all.
Even through all the gaudy decor and red-pink darkness, they could see Veronica from about a mile away. She shined like a purple diamond in the dark.
If Betty had dressed up to the nines, then Veronica had dressed up to the tens. Or the elevens.
"What do you think Betts? Fabulous or what!" Ronnie spun around, showing off her sheer deep purple floor length gown. And heels that could kill a man. Complete with lavender elbow length satin gloves and only the finest of jewels money could buy. Her hair was curled and big enough to fit two, maybe three dozen burgers in.
Also quite shiny.
Jughead had a strong feeling that she wouldn't appreciate his comparison to which muppet she looked exactly like.
"Oh wow, yeah. You are- I mean. The dress. It's just gorgeous." Betty stuttered out, her eyes glued to Veronica, watching her twirl around.
"Wow, everyone here is so shiny. Where's the buffet? I'm starving." He tried to walk away, but Betty suddenly grabbed his hand at the last moment. He tried to hide his flinch. He had never been very fond of people, even close friends, touching him.
He tried to yank away from her iron grip, but there was no escape.
It seemed she would rather he did introductions to people they saw every single day, before running off to the much dreamed after buffet.
Just great , polite niceties.
"Oh, wonderful to see you too, Juggie." she said as though she had just noticed he was also standing there. With how self involved Veronica was, she probably had only just noticed.
"Hi, Veronica." he sighed, might as well get this over with. But every time he looked at her he couldn't stop seeing it. They had the same exact fashion sense, it was uncanny. The gloves, the dress, the jewels, the attitude. The big hair.
"Aw! And don't you clean up nice and dapper, all for Betty." Veronica reached a hand up to flick his hair, which he had actually remembered to brush for once. Not that he had done anything more to it than that. This is a high school dance, not the premier of the new captain hero movie.
"Don't do that." He batted her hand away, not unlike a cat. Why were people so insistent to put their hands all over him today.
"I see you kept your silly little hat, ah well, can't win them all."
"Or any with you." Jughead muttered.
"What was that, Juggie-kins?" Veronica smirked, again reminding him of a certain well dressed pig's sneer.
"Nothing." he grumbled, attempting to cross his arms like a disgruntled child, before remembering his palm was still trapped within Betty's.
Great.
"Oh, get along you two. Ronnie doesn't mean anything by it, now do you?" Betty had finally let go of him, not a moment too soon.
He wiped his sweaty palm off on his pants leg. Just gotta remember to keep his hands in his pockets or else Betty would snatch them up and never return them.
"No I guess not. Not that he'd notice either way." Veronica laughed haughtily.
"And just what do you mean by that!" He pointed at her accusingly.
"Nothing, nothing. Just that you only seem to care about what's on the other end of your nose if food is involved."
"Well, you're not wrong, but I dislike your tone on principle, so I refuse to comment."
"That in and of itself is a comment, and an admission of defeat. And so this round goes to Veronica Lodge." She took a dramatic bow.
"Hey! I didn't lose any-"
"Am I going to have to separate you two?" Betty tapped her foot, looking for all the world to be a disappointed mother.
"No, mom ." they answered in unison, rolling their eyes like surly children.
There was that thought in his head he just couldn't keep in any longer. Veronica just had to know how much she looked like her didn't she?
"Anyways, forget about Mr. Doom-and-Gloom, check out this necklace, all imported crystal from some mountain, isn't it just lovely!"
"Yes, yes, very shiny as we have established." Did she know she had to know just how similar they were.
"Wow, it's beautiful!" Betty crowded closer to Veronica to get a good look at the pendent. Leaving him with no buffer to everyone else. Not that he was hiding behind her significantly shorter stature that was almost level to him with her heels, because he absolutely was not.
Ok, so maybe he was a little bit. But no one could prove it.
"I know! And doesn't it match me so wonderfully."
"I see we've decided to ignore me, that's cool." He tried to stick a bit closer to Betty, but someone coming from the other direction shoulder checked him, nearly making him fall over. If one more person touched him tonight that's it. He is going to lose it. He cannot be held responsible for his actions.
"Oh, for sure."
"Well, I for one would love to find this elusive buffet." He glanced around the room full of sweaty gross teenagers and tired bitter faculty, still not seeing anything that resembled a table full of the best food known to mankind.
"It even changes colors in the lighting."
"Oh, how lovely, Ronnie! Jug, come take a look." Betty reached out to grab him. And oh god not this with the grabbing again. He huffed as she maneuvers his shoulder closer to Ron. Where he did not want to be.
"Yeah, yeah. I saw it from over there, I don't need to be that close to Veronica. I'll keep my personal space to myself, thanks." He did not trip back in a desperate attempt to get as far away from the girls as possible.
Ok maybe he did trip a bit. It was all those shoes' fault.
"Ok, whatever can we just go find-" Jughead stumbled backwards, the correct footing being lost, directly into someone. These pointed shoes were truly not helping matters.
And someone bumped into him again, making his skin crawl and his eye twitch and his stomach twist and his fingers flicking as though trying to get something incorporeal off of him. And.
And.
"Agh, that's it. Veronica, you look just like Miss Piggy! I'm going to the bathroom." he said loudly. And decidedly did not storm off, pushing through the sea of hormone addled peers dressed all in warm tones of reds, pinks, and purples. The green of his shirt stuck out like a sore thumb.
He decidedly didn't think about it. Not at all.
He just went angrily in the opposite direction. That's all. He did not storm off. Really.
He didn't.
Ok, maybe he did storm off. Just a bit.
"Jughead Jones you get back here right this instant and take that back!"
"Alrighty, have fun." Betty giggled, not really listening to him at all it would seem. She was still staring at Ronnie as though entranced.
What was it that had made everyone so gaga for Veronica.
Thankfully the men's room was empty by the time he barged in. He really, really wanted to be alone for one single moment.
Why Ronnie is always teasing and messing with him, he'll never know. They were rivals in some ways, enemies in others.
He can usually give it as good as he takes it, and most times it's fun to bicker with her.
But tonight… ugh.
He sighed out a deep breath, slumped against the wall next to the bathroom door.
The combination of stuffy formal wear, too many people touching him, Ronnie , Betty clinging to his sweaty hand, the loud grating music, the endless chatter of people around him, the faint buzzing from those spotlights.
It was all too much.
He clasped his hands over his head and sank to the grody floor.
Too much.
The way Betty would go from flat out ignoring him to looking at him, expecting. Something, but what he just did not know. It was all so confusing.
It was all too much for him.
This was ridiculous.
Ugh.
Pushing himself away from the wall he paced back and forth in the small bathroom in thought.
What did she want from him.
What.
What.
What.
Uhg.
He ran his hands through his hair over and over again, making it more messy than before, hat even more askew.
No, today, he was not up for it. Already he was exhausted and drained and it was only a few minutes into the dance.
He stopped in front of one of the mirrors.
It was only minutes into the dance.
It dawned on Jughead that he still had several hours more of this left to go.
There was more.
His own shellshocked expression met his eyes.
Clutching the sink in horror, he realized he had to find a plate of food and a spot to hole up in fast if he wanted to make it through the rest of the night sane.
Oh god.
This might literally be his hell.
At least the food would cheer him up. Make this already disaster of a night worth something.
Yeah, food had never confused or frustrated him.
-
Off in the back corner of the gym, Jughead finally found the buffet.
Unfortunately, he was about to become very confused and frustrated by the food.
"What do you mean it's all vegan and heart shaped! Where's the hamburgers? The steak! The ice cream! Anything good!"
"The committee wanted it to be healthy and romantic." A nearby snazzily dressed Dilton Doiley shrugged. He wasn't all too sure why either. He had just overheard someone on the dance committee say it.
"The committee, huh…" A dastardly plan was forming in his mind. They wanted to ruin the only good thing about this dance for him, it was time he did the same to them.
They take his food… it's only right that he should take something they love right back…
"So, Cheryl did this to me too hm…"
"Oh, dear. Jughead is muttering to himself. Moose, could you find Betty?" Dilton worried.
"Now someone has really got it coming…"
Moose rushed off to find the blonde.
-
Jughead was sitting cross legged on the floor right in front of the heart shaped table in protest, directly facing it and having a staring contest with his reflection in the side of the heart shaped punch bowl, chin resting on a heart shaped plate, breathing all over the heart shaped kale chips. And planning.
And mumbling to himself about who knows what.
Jughead watched through the reflection of the heart shaped punch bowl as Dilton puttered around nervously behind him until Moose returned, bringing along the one person he absolutely did not want to see under any circumstances right now.
"So, I hear that you're making evil plans to take down the entire dance committee, you jerk." Jughead heard that all too familiar shrill voice snark behind him.
"Not evil plans, plans of righteous much-deserved vindication." He did not turn around. If he just closed his eyes maybe, maybe, she would go away.
"May I ask why. Not that I care. Especially after what you said to me."
"Ugh. I meant it as a compliment! Miss Piggy is objectively the most badass muppet. She's got great fashion sense, and is mega rich too. And she does karate. And you have to see how much your outfits match. It's like the exact same thing."
"Hm, fine. You are forgiven. For now." Veronica started to poke around the spread.
Not going away it would seem. Time for desperate measures.
"Just! Look at this atrocity!" He dramatically turned as his arms flung across the table, at the pitiful excuse for party food. The effect was kind of ruined by the fact he was still sitting on the ground.
"Ok? And?" Veronica rolled her eyes as though this wasn't the end of the world.
"Betty would understand this war crime better." He crossed his arms and huffed at her lack of appropriate response.
"Well, Betty was in the bathroom, so they sent me to deal with you causing a scene instead."
"Don't they know that'll only make it worse?"
"That's just what I said! Really, I said, "If you send me over there, I'm only going to cause problems." but they didn't care. It really looked like you were really going to do something drastic like, start a food fight or whatever. And that would sort of ruin the whole romantic vibe of the dance."
"Hm, maybe I should do that. It would be a good use for this so-called food…"
"That's what I'm supposed to stop you from doing."
"Why? It would be more fun than this. Ugh." Jughead disdainfully glared at the couple's around him, laughing, kissing, dancing.
"I don't see a problem with it or the food." She picked at some hummus with a stout piece of celery and pointedly took a bite.
Her face scrunched up grossly and turned an unflattering shade of green.
"Oh, Ronnie… no." Jughead looked sadly at her.
"It's just vegan, only veggies, it's not that bad." she gagged.
"Yeah, it is." He laughed.
"It's-it's an acquired taste." She insisted, holding the celery away from her.
"Would you take another bite?" He gleefully egged her on.
"Of course. Sure… it's… sooo good. See…" She took another bite and gagged again.
He cackled delightfully, like a mad man.
She flicked his forehead.
"Ouch! What was that for?"
"You know what."
"Look, I don't care that it's vegan, it's the fact that there's no other options! No deviled eggs, no pickled pickles, no pigs in a blanket, no garlic breadsticks, no mini hamburger platters! And it's all heart shaped. Kind of going in too much with that theme huh?" he ranted.
"And? What's so bad about the hearts? I happen to think it's kind of cute." She took a cup of heart punch from the heart bowl into heart cups. Taking a sip, she winced then looked at the glass appreciatively.
"Well, at least someone spiked this." She shrugged appreciatively, taking another small sip.
"It's kind of on the nose, like we get it, it's a lovely-dovey gross dance, ok do you have to remind us of it every single waking second!"
"Look, if you've got a problem with the Valentine's dance, take it up with the committee, not me. They're the ones that set this all up."
"Exactly, that's just what I'm trying to do here! Now that you understand me here, we have to do something about it."
"Like what? What are you going to do?"
"So, the dance committee wants the dance to be perfect so much. I think it's time we put a stop to it, who's with me!"
"I don't think anyone is."
"What, why?" He turned around. Only Veronica was left there. It seems that Moose and Dilton ran off in the middle of his speech. Those traitors. Leaving him to fend for himself.
"It's a dance, Jughead. What do you think they're all here to do?"
He looked over at the food.
"No, they're all here to dance. It is Valentine's day after all."
"But…it's not even really Valentine's day yet. That's on Monday, right? And today's Friday?"
"So? People want any excuse to act all romantic."
"Why? What about the food." He motioned to the travesty of sad limp heart shaped vegetables and rock hard tofu on the table. There weren't even any sweets. This was a pathetic display.
"Jughead, no one cares. They're busy. " She said in a condescending way, as though she was explaining something very simple to someone very dumb. He did not appreciate it at all.
"Hey, look I care! What about me! What do I get! All I wanted out of this whole thing was some delicious food, and I don't get that! The only thing I wanted. Everyone else gets their stupid dances, and fun outfits, and romantic stuff, and whatever else. But I don't get anything from this!"
"I thought maybe , that you had wanted to go to the dance with Betty, not just as your ticket to the buffet."
"I do, I did, kind of, eh, sort of, not exactly, well I just-"
"Jug, for real. Get with it. You've got a perfect stunning girl here just waiting for you, and you're going to waste it all whining about the food?"
"I mean the food is a pretty big part of why I even came here-"
"Oh my god."
"No, you don't get it, ok so-"
"No, you don't get it!"
"Huh? Get what-"
"Just shut the hell up and appreciate what you've got!" Veronica grabbed him by the lapels, glaring.
Sudden tears brimmed in her eyes.
"Betty deserves the world you know." she said softly, glancing away.
"I know." he agreed.
"So why you." Hissed Veronica.
"I don't know what you mean, really."
"Why, out of everyone in the school, in the world, she chooses you for this dance."
"Me?"
"Ugh. Yes, you!" she spat out bitterly, "So don't you dare ruin this for her, ok?"
"Um-"
"You're going to shove your ego and your stomach down and have a nice, sweet dance with her. And be an attentive date. Because she deserves something good, even if it's with you ."
"Well I-"
"And if you don't like Betty for the wonderful, amazing, selfless, loving girl that she is, then you're clearly an idiot who doesn't deserve her affections or to be with her."
"But I don't-"
"If you can't see how great Betty is to be with, then you're missing out big time."
"I-"
"And you will have so much hell to pay for hurting her and breaking her heart." And she pushed him away. And thank god that was over.
But it was only then that he could see the fire light up in her eyes, promising a world of social and financial pain if he screwed this up.
And Jughead realized that he might have fucked up.
Just a bit.
Because he was going to screw it all up. He wasn't any good at this romance thing.
He gulped nervously.
"Yeah…but what if I-"
"Nobody cares about it Jug! God, just shut up about the food for once!"
"Uh.Yeah, food."
What he was going to say was 'But what if I don't want to do this? What if I don't want to? What about what I want? What about that? Isn't this just what good friends do? We're just helping each other out, right? What does this mean? What if I didn't want her to choose me? What if I just wanted to go as friends? But now I have to treat it as some big romantic gesture I don't even want to be a part of but now have to due to the intricate convoluted social rituals of high school teenagers that I don't understand? What if I don't want to be with her or to break her heart, I don't want to hurt her, but what if I do regardless of my good intentions? What about all that?'
"Ok?" Veronica smiled, saccharine sweet.
"Ok, ok. Fine. Yeah, I'll. 'Stop whining.' But this is far from over." He motions again at the horrible food 'options'.
"Good. Don't mess with the dance."
Jughead was starting to think this dance was way more trouble than it was worth.
-
Jughead glared at Cheryl, who was surrounded by friends on the dance floor, smiling.
She was having such a good time at the dance, spinning around, chatting, laughing, kissing Toni.
Meanwhile, here he was having a horrible time, foodless, uncomfortable, fuming, brooding. And it was all her fault. But he couldn't do anything about it to ruin the dance. He wasn't allowed . Ronnie had explicitly forbidden him from interfering.
If he ruined the dance for Cheryl, he would in turn ruin it for Betty, and he wasn't allowed to do that.
He stewed some more.
Kevin came over to the tiny heart shaped table the group had occupied in the very edge of the gym, carrying two impractically heart shaped glasses of punch. The punch would also be heart shaped if Cheryl could change the laws of physics probably. If she had her way, everything would be.
"Oh, thanks Kev dear, I was getting parched." Veronica crooned.
"Anything for my wonderful date."
"Ah, you're too sweet, you know-"
"Wait, so you two came here…together?" Betty slowly asked.
"Yeah, well just as friends, you know" Kevin said.
"Yeah." Jughead nodded. He did know, that's exactly what he and Betty were doing. Just as friends.
"No…?" Betty shook her head, looking confused. She did not know it seemed.
Huh, weird.
"We both needed dates so we thought, why not each other!" Kevin said.
"And I'm attempting to make someone very jealous." For some reason Ronnie looked pointedly at Betty, who didn't notice.
"And I'm not, I don't really know what Ron is doing-" Kevin waved his hand dismissively at Veronica and frowned.
"Like, everyone knows I could have had anyone in the entire school go with me, obviously, but I wanted them to understand it was going to be a just friends thing because the person I was going to ask had already asked someone else ," Veronica said loudly in his direction and looked angrily at Jughead, for some reason. He did not understand her today, "and most wouldn't have gotten all that so, Kevin." She smiled brightly at Kevin.
"Ah, right. That." Kevin grimaced and looked at him too.
"That ." Veronica and Kevin shared a somber look, then looked intently at Jughead again for a long moment.
Ok, so he didn't understand anyone today. But that's mostly normal.
Eh, whatever. Not his problem.
"And now Ronnie owes me another favor." Kevin smirked.
"Ugh, fine. That too. You have got to stop lording these over me!"
"Well, this favor I'm doing for you isn't as big as the other one-"
"It was one speeding ticket out of how many I've gotten-"
"That I got you out of." Kevin said pointedly.
"Yeah, yeah. Only because it wasn't your dad who caught us speeding." she laughed.
"No, yeah I get that. The friend thing. Makes sense to just go with a friend, right Betty?" He glanced at her, but she was still lost in thought.
"Um, right," Betty distantly said, "only, thing is me and Jughead are here together. As a date."
"Oh. We are?" This was news to him.
"Of course, why else would I have asked you?" She stained a laugh like he had told a particularly amusing joke, even though he hadn't. Not really.
He laughed along awkwardly.
"Uhm, no other reason. I guess." He gulped.
So it turns out maybe he was on a date with Betty. And it really was just as bad as he had imagined it would be.
Perhaps even worse now.
Because Betty's got this gleeful determined look in her eyes as the DJ plays a slow sappy song.
"Oh, hey let's go dance!" She grabbed his hand.
He's biting his tongue from shouting back 'I really don't want to, please no.'
But he just let himself be dragged into the fray of swaying students coupled up together.
Betty smiled, all warm and bright in the pink-red lights.
God damnit, fine. Fine . He'll do this and look happy about it too. For her sake.
He didn't want to give Betty anymore false hope about where this was going, but he didn't want to see her sad.
Especially not over him.
So she put her hands on his shoulders and he forced his brain to stop screaming about how much he feels as though he's shaking like a leaf lost in the wind and wanting to run away.
Because all Betty really wants is a dance. He can do that, easy. One nice dance. He really does not want to at all. And yet. They do. It's awkward, it's weird, he doesn't like it, he's pretty bad at it, and he wishes he were anywhere else. But at least Betty was happy. It felt like the 4 minute song was several hours long.
She was clinging onto him like he was her last lifeline, and maybe he was. But he felt like he was losing his own last lifeline.
He desperately wanted to push away as they swayed together.
He didn't do it though.
From over Betty's shoulder, his eyes caught Ronnie's at the edge of the crowd and she didn't look so angry anymore, just sad.
Almost…heartbroken.
He had always hated to see any of his friends sad. Jughead took a deep breath looked away. He was doing this for her. For both of them.
They swayed like boats adrift in stormy seas to the slow music. There was no way this was ending without someone sinking.
And then Betty lifted her head off his burning shoulder and leaned in more.
Her eyes closed.
And leaned in more.
His eyes went wide.
Her face was so close.
And he felt his heart drop to his feet.
Oh no.
He couldn't avoid it.
He swiftly turned his face so she kissed his cheek instead of his lips.
She opened up her eyes, puzzled.
What does he say to make it less obvious he was avoiding being kissed…a compliment. But he can't keep using 'shiny'.
Taking a deep breath he prepared himself.
And looked directly into her piercing blue eyes for several seconds.
"You have nice eyes." he quickly said, looking away before those nice eyes saw right through him.
She smiled that same sweet smile at him and he tried very hard to not feel as though he were drowning in her.
Seems as though he is the one sinking.
"Thank you, um, you have a nice hat." she said with a laugh.
"What, this old thing?" he said relaxed, catastrophe averted.
"You know, I really wasn't expecting you to go out with me. I thought you'd have given up on romance."
Given up on, never started to bother with. Semantics.
He tensed up again. Ugh romance.
"Well, how could I refuse with my second best friend asking me. Seemed like a good time." And he hadn't thought it was a serious date until then. And it had been anything but a good time.
"Yeah…friend," Betty's careful steps faltered as her voice softened, "so, actually I've been meaning to talk to you about that."
"Um. Yeah, friend, buddy, pal, amigo, comrade, uh." he nervously stalled. He wasn't the best at gauging social situations, but he could see where this was going.
Betty took a moment to gather her courage and tightened her grip on his shoulders.
"I've been wanting to say this for a long time, well, not really a long time but more so in the past couple of weeks. So, we've known each other for a while, since we were kids really, and recently, um, I've-I've agh!"
Jughead tried to turn his grimace into a strained smile. It wasn't working.
"I can't get the words out so-"
And she leaned forward and kissed him right on the mouth.
And there was no getting out of it this time.
-
Some time back, they're talking about first kisses and all.
"It's like sparks fly, and the music of love swells, and it's just the most lovely thing ever. Like everything is right in the world. You know?" Betty had sighed.
"Pfft, you're joking right? Like, do you actually believe that is what happens?" Jughead scoffed in disbelief.
"Look, just because some of us aren't cynical assholes-" Reggie started to say
"The whole…" he gestures to everything, "This isn't an exaggeration? You guys really feel like that, just all the time? What the fuck?"
"I don't know, isn't that just what everyone feels?" Betty had said, more confused than anything.
"Yeah, do you mean you don't feel that yet?" Archie asked.
"Not at all."
"But…everyone does, don't they?" Betty asked.
"Eh. That sounds fake, but ok."
"Are you saying you don't…you've never had your first kiss?!" Ronnie gasped, seemingly shocked.
"I guess so, yeah"
"Huh, yeah that is weird. Even for you." Reggie snarked.
Jughead shrugs, "I've never really cared, it's never bothered me anyways."
"Well, you'll get your first kiss one day!" Archie encouraged hopefully.
"Ugh, I hope not!" He scrunched up his face in disgust.
-
Jughead can't resist the need to push her away any longer.
Betty's look of hurt seers into his brain as he fumbles for words.
"Um, I gotta-" And he practically sprints out of the gym, pushing his way through the crowd.
Until he finally reached the front entrance and stopped running.
Sitting on the big stone steps he put his head in his hands.
Taking a few quick gulping breaths, his panic abates a bit.
Then he realized he left Betty in there. After she kissed him. In front of everyone. And he pushed her away.
Oh no. Ronnie would have his head on a platter for this.
This was bad.
Very very bad.
He messed up big time.
"Um…are you alright?"
He jumped at the voice. Turning around, he saw Betty standing awkwardly on the steps behind him.
"Sure, I guess." He shrugged.
"Well. It's just. You sort of ran out in a hurry." She sat on the step next to him.
"Ah. It was. Just…all the people in there. And everything. It was a lot."
"Ah, the, um, PDA?"
"Yeah…that too."
"And how was that?" She had a little nervous smile on now.
"It's just really slimy and kind of spitty," and overall, underwhelming. He had thought after everyone hyped kissing up so much, it would be different but no, "eh, it was weird. Is that all it is? Just…wet?"
"Oh, god, was it really that bad?" All smiles drained from her and she looked like she might actually cry.
"No, no! I guess not? I just. Wasn't expecting it, I think it was my fault. I've never been kissed before. So I was kind of shocked by how…weird it was."
"Oh! That was your first kiss!"
"Yeah… uh, it wasn't bad. I promise. I just, I dont think I'm any good at it." He laughed, not in a self deprecating way, just in a relieved earnest one. He didn't particularly want to be good at it anyway.
"Ha, so, uh, do you want to practice some more?" She said flirtatiously.
"No, not really, I just want to go home now, eat some real food, and take a nice long nap."
The nuance of Betty's flirtation was lost on Jughead.
"Oh. Well, then I'll see you tomorrow then. And maybe we can work on it then?" she tried again.
"I guess? I don't really know. I promised Arch we'd hang out tomorrow. He's got some big plans. Might take all day." he lied. He knew that was mean, but he really just didn't want to see Betty again so soon. He had a lot of thinking to do.
"Oh. Well, then I'll see you Sunday, then! I really did have a wonderful time with you tonight, Jughead." She kissed his cheek and walked off, possibly back to the dance, possibly home, and he felt nothing but a shivery chill up his spine.
And greatful it was only his cheek this time.
"Yeah…Bye Betty." He tried very hard to hold himself together on the walk home.
Would he ever get used to this. Why didn't he ever want to.
Maybe the next one would be better, but he didn't want to even think about the next kiss.
Just the thought of kissing again made his face scrunch up in disgust.
It was just slimy and weird and all tongue and teeth. Who even enjoyed that? Yuck.
Maybe he was just really, really, really bad at it. And that's why he didn't like it. Not for any other reasons he didn't feel like examining too closely.
But if that was the case, then why did he still feel so sick?
He felt his stomach sink.
What was wrong with him. Something had to be wrong with him.
Let's see: tonight he felt nauseous whenever Betty kissed him. And when she touched him his skin crawled. And when she smiled at him, he didn't feel warm inside, just cold dread.
And what does that mean: he must be sick. There's no other explanation.
He catalogs his feelings and concludes that he is sick and dying. He has to be. What else could it be.
-
He calls Archie, for lack of better things to do. And maybe for some advice.
"Archie, I think I might be sic-"
"Hey, Jughead! You're missing the party of the century, where'd you go?"
"Agh, yeah, I just, uh me and Betty, well we sort of kissed and I kind of didn't want to stay there any longer, I'm really sorry about missing you play-"
"Woah, good job! Nah, I don't mind you leaving or anything, it's cool."
"Yeah, we left right after to-"
"Oohh, I get it, yeah. Busy. Hey, we'll talk tomorrow, ok?"
"But right now I kind of wanted some-"
"I'm trying to get, uhm, sort of busy myself right now too, if you know what I mean," And Jughead didn't know what he meant. The cacophony of the dance drowned out everything else. "But, we can talk tomorrow, when, uh, we're both less occupied."
"Oh… ok, yeah. Tomorrow." Jughead forced himself not to feel put out. He was used to all his friends prioritizing dates and romance and girlfriends and boyfriends over him. It was a regular occurrence. It was normal. Expected, even.
It still didn't stop the dull pang of disappointment reverberating through him.
"Very first thing tomorrow morning! You can tell me all about you and Betty!" Archie promised with a cheer in his voice that Jughead had been unable to muster up all night.
Jughead tried his best to believe him this time.
"Yeah. Tomorrow." His stomach hurt.
Nausea over this was making him unable to eat. He must be terribly ill if he couldn't even eat.
So. This situation has quickly gone from annoying to bad.
This was bad. This was really, really, bad.