Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jesse was eternally grateful that it was his break.

He loved his job, but this project had already encountered so many problems that it was just beginning to get exhausting. He hoped things would improve; after all, they had only just started the actual construction that morning. 

He decided to take the chance to explore the area. He wasn’t familiar with this part of town, so he considered it an adventure of sorts. Maybe he’d find something nice to pick up for Axel and Olivia.

It was a bright, sunny day. The temperature was a little warm for late fall, but that just made it perfect for walking. The light breeze rustling the trees only added to the cozy atmosphere. 

As Jesse was exploring, a bright purple building caught his eye. The sign above the door said “Llamazing Bakery” in huge letters, and the window displays were filled with all sorts of baked goods. Cakes, breads, muffins…it all looked very delicious. 

“Oh, hey! I’ve never seen this place before,” he said, walking toward the door. The building didn’t look too old, but it also clearly wasn’t new. It looked like it had been recently repainted, though. He went inside. 

“I wonder if they’re any—” He froze in his tracks, eyes going wide as he trailed off. “...good…”

Behind the counter was quite possibly the cutest boy Jesse had ever seen. His fluffy hair was the color of melted butter. He was tall and slender, with the slightest sharp edge to his features. His smile was bright as he handed a woman a bag. 

“Oh, wowie,” Jesse whispered. He walked toward the counter, face warming. That was weird; the inside of the bakery was cooler than the temperature outside. 

The cute boy turned as he noticed Jesse. “Oh, another customer!” He smiled again, waving a bit.  “Hi! May I take your order?”

His voice was smooth and honey-sweet. Jesse stared blankly for a few seconds before glancing toward the display case, barely registering its contents. 

“Uhh…cookies?” he managed, pointing to a tray behind the glass. They had been the first thing to catch his eye, and he did love a good chocolate chip cookie. 

Internally, he was freaking out. This guy—Lukas, his nametag said—was ridiculously cute, and it was more than a little distracting. He watched as Lukas pulled some cookies from the display case and put them into a bag. Blue eyes studied Jesse before stuffing a handful of napkins into the bag as well, and Jesse was suddenly very aware that he was covered in dirt. 

“Here you go!” Lukas said, holding the bag out. That bright smile was so dazzling. Jesse could hardly look at him. He wondered if his face looked as red as it felt. 

He held the money out, taking the bag carefully. His heart nearly leapt from his chest when he accidentally brushed Lukas’ hand with his own. “Thanks…”

“No problem! Have a nice day!” 

“Um…you too.” Jesse smiled nervously. Oh, gosh, he was making things horribly awkward. He hurried off before he could make things any worse and found a table in the corner, sitting down. There was a decent view of the counter, and he found his eyes drawn back to Lukas. Jesse watched as his smile dropped, a sigh leaving his lips. He looked tired all of a sudden, completely unlike the cheerful demeanor he’d just displayed. 

Jesse tore his eyes away, certain he was seeing something he shouldn’t. Instead, he focused his attention on the little bag in front of him. It was simple enough—plain brown paper with a purple llama silhouette on it. The llama was surrounded by sparkles and it had what was probably a cookie in its mouth, though it was difficult to tell. 

Carefully, he opened the bag. He was grateful for the addition of the napkins; his hands were covered with dirt and dust. He wondered if he’d smudged any on Lukas’ pale hand where it had brushed against him. 

…Why was he wondering that?

His attention wandered back toward the counter. That dazzling smile was back as Lukas took an order from an elderly couple. Any trace of his earlier tired look was gone. His movements were polished and efficient, as if he’d been doing them his whole life. 

Lukas turned toward his direction and Jesse looked away quickly, not wanting to be caught staring. He took a bite of his cookie.

Whoa.

It was unbelievably soft and warm. There was a perfect chocolate-to-cookie ratio. It didn’t dissolve into crumbs as he held it. 

This is the best cookie I’ve ever had, Jesse thought, taking another bite.

As he ate, he found his eyes drifting back toward the front counter. A few more customers had come in, and Jesse watched Lukas move behind the counter. Every so often, he swept his bangs out of his eyes. It was mesmerizing. 

So mesmerizing, in fact, that Jesse almost didn’t notice the time. He happened to glance at the clock and nearly choked on his cookie when he realized he’d need to be back at work in less than five minutes. 

Shoving the rest of the dessert in his mouth, he gathered the bag and the wad of napkins before running out, tossing them into the garbage as he passed. If he hurried, he could still get back to work on time. 

—-

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Jesse’s thoughts kept wandering back to the cute guy from the bakery; he still didn’t understand why he’d lost all ability to think once he’d seen him.

By the time work was over, though, Jesse was exhausted. He couldn’t wait to go home and just sit down. He was grateful that they’d finally worked most of the issues with the project out, at least. 

Jesse opened the apartment door to the familiar sound of Axel playing video games—that is, aggressive button-mashing and triumphant laughter. He figured that meant Olivia was done with work as well; Axel at least made some effort to be quieter while she was working.

Jesse had met Axel and Olivia in elementary school and they’d hit it off instantly. They were the two people he was closest with, and they had been there for him through everything. The three of them bought an apartment together the first chance they got. 

He greeted them both as he passed, heading directly to grab his towel. As tired as he was, he really needed to take a shower first. He was more than a little sweaty and covered in even more dirt than he had been earlier. 

Standing in the warm spray of water, Jesse decided that tomorrow, he was actually going to talk to Lukas. No freezing up and stumbling over words. At worst, he’d be met with polite disinterest, and at best, he’d make a new friend. 

Yeah. Good plan. He finished getting dressed and walked back out to join his friends. 

“I found a bakery today,” he announced, flopping onto the couch. Oh, man, it felt so good to sit. 

Axel glanced at him before turning back to his video game. “Was it any good?” 

“Oh, yeah. Those were probably the best cookies I’ve ever had. And the guy at the counter was, like…really cute.”

“Did you get his name?” Olivia asked, looking up from her book. How she could read with all the noise Axel was making, Jesse would never understand. 

“His nametag said Lukas. It was so weird,” Jesse murmured, staring at the ceiling. His mind drifted back to the heat that had filled his face as soon as he’d seen Lukas behind the counter. It was like someone had put him in the oven. “When I saw him, I got all sweaty and I could hardly think.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “Did you talk to him at all?”

“Not really, aside from ordering the cookies…like I said, I was having trouble focusing. I was probably tired from work.” He thought of the way his heart had thudded in his chest when their hands brushed. Was that normal? 

“Yeah, yeah, forget the guy! Tell me about the cookies!” Axel turned around to face Jesse, video game forgotten. “You can’t just say they were the best cookies you’ve ever had and then not talk about them.”

Jesse shrugged. The cookies were really good, but his mind had mostly been elsewhere. “They were really warm and soft. And there was a bunch of chocolate in them. Like, a whole bunch. I’ll have to bring you guys some.”

“Uh, yeah, you do!” Axel grinned. 

“It was super close to the construction site, so I’ll probably go there on my break again tomorrow.”

“Maybe you’ll be able to have a real conversation this time,” Olivia said. “If he’s there, that is.”

Jesse nodded, smiling a little. “Hopefully. I’d like to be friends.”

“I’m sure you would.” Olivia gave him a knowing smile before turning her attention back to her book. Jesse wasn’t sure what that meant.

The bright red of the television screen caught his eye as he shifted. “Axel, you died.”

Axel whipped back around, shoulders slumping. “Aw, man! You distracted me with cookies. I was almost at the end of this level.”

“Sorry. Pass the other controller, I’ll help.” He sat up a little, reaching out as Axel handed him the second controller. He tried to push the thoughts about the bakery and the cute guy out of his mind. 

After he died from a simple mistake for the fifth time in a row, however, he realized it might be more difficult than he’d expected. He set the controller down, deciding he should probably just go to bed. It was getting late, anyway. 

Hopefully getting some sleep would help him focus better tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

“One black coffee to go, please.”

Lukas drummed his fingers against his leg as he waited for his drink. He was lucky enough to be one of the first customers of the morning, so he hadn’t been standing in line for very long. Waking up and leaving for work early definitely had its benefits. 

Once his coffee was ready, he paid and walked outside. It was best to leave before the morning rush really started, not that he had a reason to stay in the shop anyway. It wasn’t like he’d ordered any food. 

The bakery wasn’t very far, so Lukas took the time to enjoy his walk. The leaves were almost gone from the trees, the few that still clung to the branches rustling in the gentle breeze. Occasionally, one would fly off and join the piles on the ground below. A few clouds lazily drifted by, painted a cotton candy pink by the rising sun. There was a slight chill in the air, and Lukas found himself wondering if he should have brought a jacket. The coffee kept his hand warm, at least. 

As usual, Radar was already there when Lukas entered the bakery, whistling a tune as he scrubbed the tables. 

“Good morning!” he called, waving at Lukas with a smile. 

He waved back as he passed. “Good morning, Radar. Nell’s not here yet?”

“Nope, just us for now. I already cleaned the counters off, so they’re all ready!” He’d cleaned a lot more than the counters, judging by how shiny everything looked. Lukas wasn’t sure how he had the energy to clean so much so early, but it was good that he did.

“Thanks. I’ll start on the specials menu, then.” Lukas made his way back to the break room, setting his coffee on the table and his bag on a chair before pulling his apron on. As he tied it, he noticed that the string was getting too long; he’d probably lost weight again. He would have to remember to adjust it soon.

Leaving the coffee where it was, he grabbed the eraser and a few colors of chalk—today was a blue and green kind of day—and headed back to the front. Radar had moved to cleaning the windows, still whistling to himself. 

He was usually pretty cheerful, which was something Lukas appreciated. Sure, he could be high-strung and excitable, but he was always friendly. Lukas had enough experience with miserable people everywhere else; he was glad his co-workers were nice.

Speaking of, he heard the little bell above the door jingle as Nell walked in. She was probably the most chill person he’d ever met. “Morning, dudes.”

“Hey, Nell,” he said, glancing up from the chalkboard. She waved at him and Radar before heading to the back to set her bag down. 

Lukas went back to fixing the specials menu. The chalk always managed to get smudged throughout the day when people pointed to their orders. He’d always wondered why; it wasn’t like the menu was visible from the other side of the counter, and the people usually said their order out loud anyway. All it did was ruin the lettering and make him have to re-write it every morning. 

Once the lettering actually looked like words again, he tucked the chalk into his apron pocket and washed his hands before heading back to the counter.

“Is that your coffee in the break room again?” Nell asked as she walked over, adjusting her apron. 

Lukas glanced up from where he’d started re-stocking the napkin supply. “Yeah. I wasn't gonna drink it.” 

“You never drink it, dude. You get one every day and then it just sits on the table until we end up using it or Radar drinks it. I’m starting to wonder if you even like coffee,” she teased.

He laughed a bit, turning back to the napkins. “Not really, but I feel weird going into a coffee shop for breakfast and not getting a coffee, you know?” 

She shrugged. “You could at least get, like, creamer or something in it to make it taste better. That place has some really good ones.”

“Yeah, but they’re kinda overpriced. It’s fine, plus this saves us the trouble of having to make extra for the coffee cakes. If anything, you should thank me for making less work for you,” he joked.

She laughed and shook her head, making the beads in her hair click. “Guess you got me there. Less work is always rad. But you know I make up for it every time you ask me for help with rude people at the counter.” 

“…Okay, now you got me,” he admitted. “Talking to people isn’t my thing, especially when they’re yelling at me for something I didn’t do.”

Working the counter was his least favorite part of the job. Unfortunately, there were a solid three employees and Radar got too nervous around people to do it. He handled all of the record-keeping and most of the cleaning while Nell and Lukas alternated between baking and running the counter. They’d even made a schedule for it so it stayed fair. 

Nell patted his shoulder sympathetically. “Hey, at least the week’s almost over. You’ll be free from that soon, man.”

“I know. Let’s just get through today,” Lukas sighed. Nell gave him a lazy two-fingered salute before switching the sign on the door to “open.”

—-

Some days, Lukas really hated his job.

Well, alright, that wasn’t quite true. It was just that the line had been longer than usual that day and it was incredibly tiring to deal with people accusing him of messing up their order or changing what they wanted twelve times in two minutes. 

He couldn’t complain too much, though. Due to the bakery’s location, not many people knew about it and so they didn’t get many customers. Lukas wasn’t really sure how, seeing as it was a bright purple building, but most people had never heard of it before. They were only barely staying afloat, so it was good that they were getting business at all.

Mornings tended to be busy, but there was always a lull in the amount of customers around the afternoon. Lukas usually took his lunch break then, though he stayed behind the counter in case anyone did walk in. He always brought the same thing for lunch: a cheese sandwich and a granola bar. 

He was just about to start eating when the bell above the door jingled. He sighed, putting his sandwich down and switching back to “customer-service” mode—bright smile, friendly demeanor, and a voice sweeter than the baked goods. “Hello, may I take your order?” 

This guy had come in yesterday; Lukas recognized the green suspenders. He’d seemed nervous for some reason, but he looked a little less like a deer in headlights today. He was also covered in dirt again, seemingly even more than yesterday. 

“I’d like three chocolate chip cookies, please,” he said. 

Lukas glanced at the display case. Only one cookie left. 

Cool.

“Just a moment, please.” He stuck his head through the door to the kitchen. “Nell, we need more chocolate chip cookies. There aren’t enough here for the order.”

“I have some in the oven. They’ll be done in a few minutes,” she said, gesturing with a whisk. “Sorry, dude, but you’ll have to tell the customer to wait a little.”

Great, now this would cut into his lunch break even more. He wouldn’t have minded so much if he’d at least had something small for breakfast. Or something for dinner the day before. 

Oh well. The hollow feeling was nothing he wasn’t used to. Lukas’ relationship with food had always been…complicated. He was certain it was some sick joke from the universe that he’d ended up with a talent for baking and a food service job.

He sighed, going back to the green suspenders guy and offering an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait a few minutes for this batch to be done.”

He braced himself for the complaint, the insistence this guy was in a hurry and couldn’t wait, the demanding  of his order. It was always inevitable when this sort of thing happened. 

Instead, he just smiled. “Oh, that’s okay! I have a little time before I have to get back to work.”

Lukas blinked. He had not been expecting that. 

“Besides,” the guy continued, “these are probably the best cookies I’ve ever had, so I don’t mind waiting. I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this place before.”

“A lot of people haven’t. That’s why it’s so empty right now.” He gestured toward the tables; no other customers in the room. The morning rush had long passed. 

Suspenders Guy hummed a little, glancing around. “It’s too bad. Like I said, those cookies were really good. I’m excited to try some of the other stuff.”

“You could get some now if you don’t want to wait for the cookies. Today’s cupcake is a pretty good flavor.” Lukas pointed toward what Nell called her pride and joy: the daily cupcake display. Each morning, she picked a different flavor of cupcake to be half-price and arranged it on a little stage. She took it very seriously—well, as seriously as Nell took anything. Today’s flavor was apple cinnamon. 

He admired the display for a bit before shaking his head. “I would, but I promised my friends I’d get them some of the cookies. But I’ll definitely be back! I’m gonna be in this area a lot for the next few weeks.”

Lukas wasn’t usually one for conversation, especially with a customer, but something about talking to this guy felt…different. He didn’t really mind the chat. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yep! I’m part of the construction team making that new restaurant not too far from here. I’m Jesse, by the way.” 

That explained all the dirt. He decided not to bring it up. He’d just have to make sure to keep a lot more napkins around. “Nice to meet you, Jesse. I’m Lukas.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too. I’d shake your hand, but, uh…” He lifted his dirt-covered hands, smiling sheepishly. 

“Yeah, probably for the best. I get the idea, though.” Lukas grabbed a handful of napkins and held them out. Yeah, he’d need to keep a lot more around. 

“Thanks.” Jesse started trying to wipe his hands off. 

Lukas took a moment to actually look at Jesse. There was a smudge of dirt across his nose, along with a few on his cheeks and neck. His arms looked like they’d been at least elbow deep in dirt. Lukas didn’t know much about the actual construction process itself, but he wasn’t sure that much dirt was normal. 

Aside from the dirt, though, Jesse was actually kind of charming. The green suspenders were a strange addition to his outfit but they managed to work, in a cutely dorky sort of way. His dark hair was messy—it reminded Lukas of brownie batter, at the stage where it was only partly mixed and stuck up in odd directions. 

Lukas was distracted from his examination as a wave of dizziness hit. Shoot, had he actually eaten anything yesterday? He couldn’t remember. He leaned against the counter slightly, taking a moment to breathe until the room stopped tilting. 

It hadn’t gotten this bad in a while. Fortunately, Jesse didn’t seem to notice, still trying to wipe the dirt from his hands. It didn’t seem to be working very well. 

The kitchen door opened and Nell walked over, a tray of cookies in her hands. Lukas moved the old one so she could put it into place, grateful that the wave of dizziness had passed before she came in. 

She waved at Jesse a little once her hands were free. “Hey, dude. Thanks for being cool about waiting.”

He gave a thumbs-up and another grin. His smile was big and genuine, crinkling the corners of his eyes. “No problem! It’ll be worth the wait.” 

“Glad you think so, brah. Enjoy ‘em.” She held up a peace sign before disappearing back into the kitchen. 

Lukas handed Jesse the bag of cookies. “I hope your friends like them, too.”

“I’m sure they will. Thanks again!” Jesse glanced at the clock and pouted a little. “I gotta run now, but I’ll be back tomorrow!” He waved, giving Lukas another beaming smile before running off.

Lukas waved back with a small smile of his own. “See you then.”

He sat down and grabbed his sandwich, finally taking a bite. Hopefully it would be enough to get him through the day without another major dizzy spell. He made a mental note to actually try to eat dinner tonight—he really couldn’t afford to collapse at work. 

It was worth the pleasant conversation, though. It had been a while since he’d made a friend outside of work, but…he had a feeling Jesse might change that. He smiled a little more at the thought.

Some days, Lukas really liked his job.

Chapter Text

“I’m going to ask for his number today,” Jesse said, removing his hard hat and dusting his hands off. It did very little except smudge more dirt on his pants. 

Stacy glanced over at him, pulling her gloves off. “Bakery Guy?”

Jesse nodded as he grabbed his lunch box. “Maybe we can hang out over the weekend or something, you know?”

“That sounds fun!” Stampy chimed in. “You could get to know each other.”

“That’s what I was thinking! I’d love to get to know him.” He smiled at the thought. He’d been so happy about having a real conversation with Lukas yesterday, even if it was short. Besides, if he got his number, then he’d be able to talk to him for longer than just the length of his break. 

Stacy grabbed her own lunch, giving him a look similar to the one Olivia gave him every time he’d mentioned Lukas. “You should probably hurry, then. You only have so long.”

“I will. See you guys in a little while!” Jesse called over his shoulder as he left with a little bounce in his step. 

It was surprisingly windy outside and he shivered a bit at the difference in temperature. He’d forgotten his jacket in his excitement, and his thick sleeves only did so much against the chill.

Luckily, the bakery wasn’t too far from the construction site, and soon enough, Jesse came to the bright purple building. He caught sight of the daily cupcake in the window—pumpkin spice today. He’d have to try a cupcake sometime. 

Jesse pushed the door open, waving. “Hi, Lukas!”

Lukas was leaning on the counter, a small wrapped package in his hands. He looked up when he heard Jesse. “Oh, hey! Welcome back!”

“I brought my lunch so I can eat here today,” he said, pointing to his lunchbox. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I was just about to—uh, I just finished my lunch, actually.” He glanced at the package in his hands before setting it down and walking out from behind the counter. “No one’s here, so I can probably just sit with you for the rest of my break if you want.”

Oh, wowie. Jesse hadn’t been expecting that, but no way was he going to turn the offer down. “Yeah, that would be great! Is, uh…is there a sink here?”

“The bathroom is that way,” Lukas said, gesturing toward a white door. 

“Thanks!” Jesse set his lunchbox on a table and went to wash his hands. He looked at himself in the mirror as he did. There was dirt…everywhere, somehow. He did his best to clean as much of it off as possible.

When he walked back out, Lukas was resting his chin in his hand, staring outside with a distant look on his face. His other hand tapped against the table in some rhythm only he could hear. 

Jesse’s mind wandered back to the way his smile had dropped once he thought no one was looking that first day. He had seemed subdued the day before as well, but maybe he was just tired. He certainly looked tired, if the slump of his shoulders was any indication. 

Was he actually happy here? 

Jesse wasn’t really sure if that was too personal a question to ask someone he had only really spoken to once. He didn’t want to make Lukas uncomfortable. 

“So, how’s your day been?” Jesse asked, sliding into his seat. He figured that was a safer question to ask. 

Lukas jumped a bit, startled out of his thoughts. “Oh, uh…pretty average. It’s been slow today.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda weird that no one else is here. I would think you guys would have tons of business with how good your food is,” he said as he pulled his lunch out. He’d brought a cheese sandwich and some potato chips. Lukas gave the sandwich a look Jesse couldn’t quite place before quickly glancing back outside. 

“It’s usually like this toward the end of the week. I wouldn’t mind so much if business was a little better,” he said with a shrug. 

“Business is bad?” Jesse asked, taking a bite of his sandwich. 

“Well…not really bad, I guess. Like I said yesterday, not a lot of people know about us, so we don’t get as many customers at certain times of day. Around this time is always slow.” His fingers started tapping the table again, a bit faster.  “Maybe we’d get more customers if we weren’t in such a weird spot. The only other business around here is the coffee shop a few blocks away.”

That would explain why it had been so empty every time he came in. He swallowed his food before asking, “You guys haven’t advertised?”

“Supposedly, Stella is working on it. She’s our…manager? Supervisor?” Lukas shrugged again, tilting his head to the side a little. “I’m honestly not sure what she does, but the bakery is technically hers. She keeps saying we’ll have real advertisements soon, but we’re going on a month now with no news.”

“Well, hopefully getting advertisements helps. You guys have really good cookies and the world deserves to know.” He took another bite. 

“Thanks. Hopefully it does.” His gaze drifted toward the sandwich again. “Is that a cheese sandwich?”

“Oh, yeah! Do you want some? I don’t mind sharing.” 

“Oh, no, thank you.” Lukas shook his head and glanced back outside, his bangs falling into his eyes. “I was gonna…uh, I had one earlier. I pack one for lunch every day.”

Jesse hummed a little. “I like packing a different one every day. Yesterday was chicken, I think.”

His fingers tapped even faster. “Cool. Do you want some cookies with it again?”

“Ooh, yeah! Hold on, let me get my wallet.” He set his sandwich down and reached for his pocket. Then his other pocket. “Uh…if I can find it…”

“No, no. My treat this time.” Lukas stood, leaning against the chair a bit. He swept his bangs out of his eyes, glancing toward the counter. 

Jesse looked at him in surprise. “Wait, really?”

“Of course. Nell and Radar usually take their breaks in the back, so it’s been nice having someone to talk to.” Lukas smiled at him before walking toward the counter. 

… Whoa.

It was nothing like the bright smiles he’d given from behind the counter. This one was small, sweet, and slightly crooked, with an undeniable warmth to it. Jesse’s heart melted like chocolate on a hot day. 

He didn’t understand it. He’d met plenty of pretty people before, but he’d never been so distracted like this. Hopefully getting to know Lukas better would help snap him out of whatever this was. 

He finished his sandwich, still slightly dazed.  Lukas walked back over with two cookies in a napkin. 

“Here. One for now, one for later?”

“You  aren’t having one?” Jesse asked as Lukas handed him the desserts. Their hands brushed slightly, and just like that first day, Jesse felt a weird flutter in his stomach. Maybe he was still hungry. 

“I’m good.” He sat back down, glancing back toward the counter. “I…had a snack with my lunch.”

“Well, thank you,” Jesse said, smiling as he bit into the cookie. It must have been made recently; it was still a little warm. Even if he never ordered any of the other baked goods, he would still come in every day just for these cookies. 

“No problem. I’m glad you enjoy them so much.” 

Well…and to talk to Lukas, too. Which reminded him…

“Oh! Before I forget,” he said, pulling a piece of paper and a pencil out of his lunchbox, “can I have your number? I’d love to talk when we both have some more time.”

Lukas smiled again, taking the pencil. “That would be nice.” He wrote his number down and slid the paper back toward Jesse. His handwriting was small and a bit messy.

He tore the paper in half and wrote his own number down, handing it to Lukas. He hesitated slightly before asking, “Are you free tomorrow?”

“I should be.” He tucked the paper into his apron pocket. “Why?”

“Maybe we could hang out?” Jesse suggested. “We could go to the park or get lunch or something.” 

Lukas seemed to consider it for a moment. “The park sounds fun. It’s been a while since I went anywhere with friends.”

Happy fireworks went off in Jesse’s chest, joining the fluttery feeling that hadn’t left. Lukas considered them friends? 

He grinned. “The park it is, then. Is the afternoon good?”

“Sounds cool. I’ll be looking forward to it.” He swept his bangs back again, his pretty blue eyes bright with excitement. 

Jesse could feel his face warming as he looked at Lukas. He could hardly believe this was happening. He had his number! They were friends!

He caught sight of the clock on the wall and jumped to his feet, eyes wide. He’d completely forgotten about work in his excitement. “Shoot, I had to leave five minutes ago! I’ll be late!” He shoved the paper and the other cookie into his lunchbox. “It was nice talking with you again, Lukas! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Oh, uh…see you, Jesse,” he said with a wave and another small smile. 

Jesse ran back to work with a huge grin on his face. He couldn’t wait to tell Axel and Olivia about this later. 

He managed to make it back just barely on time, completely out of breath. He put his lunchbox back with his things and took a moment to collect himself. 

“I take it things went well?” Stacy asked, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“I got his number!” Jesse leaned against the wall, beaming as he tried to catch his breath. “And we’re going to the park tomorrow!”

“Nice! Good for you.” She gave him a thumbs-up as Stampy clapped excitedly. 

“That’s lovely! I hope you have a good time!” he said. 

Jesse nodded, still giddy, before pulling the slightly crumpled piece of paper out of his lunchbox. He was definitely going to text him the moment he got home. They had to decide a time and place to meet, after all.

Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

Chapter Text

Lukas was freaking out a little. 

Everything had seemed so nice yesterday. He’d made a new friend for the first time since high school and he was going to get out of his apartment for a reason that wasn’t work or grocery shopping. He wouldn’t have to deal with Aiden, or with the noise when Maya and Gill inevitably came over, or the stress of staring at the messy apartment and wishing he had the time and energy to clean it. Instead, he would get to spend time with Jesse, who seemed to actually enjoy his company—after all, he had been the one to suggest they hang out.

Lukas could still hardly believe it. Jesse had texted him later that night, a simple “hi!” with a smiley face. Lukas had replied with a “hello!” and they had confirmed the time and place they would meet before saying good night.

Now, Lukas stood in the middle of the living room, trying to decide what to wear. There was still a lot of time before he needed to be ready, but preparing gave him something to do besides worrying about everything that could go wrong.

“What do you think, Dewey?” he asked, holding two different shirts up. 

Dewey, his cat, simply continued licking his leg and ignoring Lukas’ presence. 

“Yeah, yeah, you don’t care.” He sighed and set one down. “I think it’s supposed to be chilly, so I’ll wear the turtleneck.”

Dewey moved on to cleaning behind his ear. Lukas laid the sweater over the pair of jeans he’d picked out and put the other shirt back into the box with the rest of his clothing.

There wasn’t much space in their apartment, so Lukas kept his things in boxes under the couch. He also slept on the couch, since they had only been able to afford one bed and Aiden had claimed it immediately. It was uncomfortable, but he put up with it. 

He put up with a lot. 

Lukas changed into the outfit he’d picked, pulling on the leather jacket he’d had since middle school; Gill had suggested matching jackets and the four of them had stuck with it for years. It was surprisingly warm and comfortable and it had quickly become his favorite jacket.

He knelt beside the couch, grabbing a small box and carefully removing the lid. Inside was one of his most prized possessions: a simple pair of clip-on diamond stud earrings. They had been a gift from Petra, his only friend besides Aiden, Maya, and Gill. He made a mental note to call her later—he had a lot to tell her.

He took the earrings into the bathroom, using the mirror to make sure they were even. He put a bit of makeup under his eyes to hide the increasingly dark circles before sighing as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Okay, Lukas,” he whispered, gripping the edge of the sink and staring at himself. “You can do this. It’s just a walk in the park. Unless he wants to go to lunch…but you’ll be fine. It’ll all be cool.”

He tapped each earring once to make sure they were both in place before leaving the bathroom. Dewey meowed at him as he placed his things back underneath the couch.

“I know, I know,” he said, petting the cat’s head before getting to his feet. “I’m getting there.”

Dewey trotted off toward the kitchen, Lukas following close behind. He meowed again and Lukas held a finger to his lips. “Not so loud, Dewey. Aiden’s still asleep, and you know how he gets.” Dewey just rubbed against his legs, purring.

Lukas filled Dewey’s food and water bowls before dropping onto a chair. He tapped his fingers against his thigh, staring at nothing. He knew he should probably eat something if he was going to be out all day, but the nerves killed what little appetite he might have had. It was fine; it wasn’t like he ate breakfast most days, anyway.

Lukas glanced at the clock. It was still a little early, but he didn’t want to deal with Aiden on top of his rapidly increasing anxiety. Some fresh air might help.

“I’ll be back later, Dewey,” he said as the cat purred, rubbing against Lukas’ legs. “Don’t get into too much trouble.”

He took a deep breath, reminding himself that he had enjoyed talking to Jesse, and that Jesse had been the one to invite him in the first place. Whatever happened, it would be better than tucking himself into the corner when Maya and Gill came over. 

He could do this. 

—-

Lukas wasn’t sure he could do this.

They had agreed to meet at the bench near the fountain. He’d arrived early, of course, and as the minutes slipped by, his worries only grew. He stared at the water, listening to the sounds of the wind in the leaves and distant conversations. His leg bounced nervously as he tapped his fingers against it.

“Lukas! Hey!”

He looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. Jesse waved as he ran toward him before dropping onto the bench next to him, a little out of breath. He was dressed in a dark gray button down and those same green suspenders. Lukas wondered if he wore them with everything. 

“I hope you weren’t waiting too long. I wanted to be here a little earlier, but I lost track of time and then Axel took forever to get ready.” Jesse leaned back, glancing toward Lukas. “He’s one of my roommates, by the way. He drove me here.”

Lukas shook his head. “You’re okay. I got here early to avoid being around my roommate. He was still asleep when I left.”

“Is he really bad in the mornings?”

“Something like that,” Lukas muttered. It was a lot more than just the mornings, but this was supposed to be a nice outing. He didn’t want to think about Aiden right now, so he decided to change the subject. “You don’t drive?”

“Nah, I never learned. I don’t mind walking everywhere, though, and Axel’s usually pretty cool if there’s anywhere I need to go. What about you?”

“I never had the chance. I don’t really go far enough to justify learning now.” He thought of Aiden’s car and all of the times he’d been crammed into the backseat as they went out somewhere before adding, “I’m not a fan of cars, anyway.”

Jesse hummed in acknowledgement and silence fell between them. Lukas glanced over at him, watching as he closed his eyes and turned his face toward the sun. He noticed that there wasn’t any dirt on his face or arms today.

Now that he was looking at him, he realized that Jesse was…very handsome. His face was round, with a softness to his features that made him look innocent and cheerful. He was a bit on the pudgier side, but obviously muscular, too. He had a peaceful smile on his face as the breeze fluttered through his messy hair. 

Lukas snapped out of his thoughts as Jesse turned to glance at him quizzically. His face warmed as he looked away, embarrassed at having been caught staring. He got to his feet quickly, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “It’s nice out. We should walk.”

He heard Jesse get up and follow him as he started walking down the path. He then remembered that Jesse had shorter legs than he did and slowed his pace a little until Jesse fell into step beside him. 

Lukas was certain the awkward silence between them was his fault. He should probably say something; that’s how conversations worked, right? He scrambled to find a decent topic.

“You really like cookies,” he said, then mentally smacked himself. Obviously! It was all Jesse had ordered from the bakery so far! Of all the things he could have said—

“Yeah!” Jesse smiled, oblivious to Lukas’ internal crisis. “I love anything sweet, especially chocolate. I can’t wait to try some of the other stuff at the bakery.”

Okay, this was good; despite the ungraceful start, this was a topic he was familiar with. Baked goods were safe territory. “Do you have a favorite dessert?” 

Jesse tapped his chin as he thought. “Gosh, that’s hard…I guess I’d have to go with chocolate chip cookies, though. They’re a classic.”

“I like making cookies a lot. I’ve gotten pretty quick at it, if I do say so myself,” he said, glancing at Jesse with a small grin. “Maybe you can watch next week.”

Usually, he wouldn’t want anyone in the kitchen while he baked except possibly Nell or Radar. But Jesse…somehow Lukas knew that he wouldn’t get in the way. 

Jesse looked at him in amazement, eyes sparkling. They were a deep chocolate brown, and Lukas knew immediately that he would be associating the confection with Jesse forever.

…Where had that thought come from?

“That’s so cool! You really wouldn’t mind letting me watch?” Jesse asked before Lukas could fully process it.

He nodded, pushing it out of his mind for now. “I wouldn’t have offered otherwise. My co-workers probably won’t mind, either, since Nell’s had her friends from her other job over and Radar usually sticks to the back.” He glanced at Jesse before looking back at the ground to make sure he didn’t trip over any roots on the path. “What about you? You mentioned working construction…do you like it?”

Jesse nodded enthusiastically. “I love it. It’s pretty tiring some days, but it’s a lot of fun. I’m lucky enough to work with some good people, too.”

Lukas hummed a little. “That’s good. It’s always nice to have good co-workers.”

“It really is. Stampy and Stacy are really nice, and so are Dan and Lizzie—she makes really good cheese dip and she brings it in every time she makes some.”

Lukas’ eyes drifted toward Jesse again. He was waving his hands around in various gestures as he talked, eyes bright. It was clear he loved his job and the people he worked with. It was…pretty adorable.

He was so busy looking at Jesse that he didn’t see the huge root in front of him. His foot caught the edge and he stumbled forward before a strong hand grabbed his arm, catching him.

“Careful!” 

Jesse pulled him back and Lukas blinked, a little disoriented by the sudden movement. He was very aware of Jesse’s hand on his arm. The touch burned, even through his jacket and sweater, but…in a pleasant way. He was oddly disappointed when Jesse removed it.

…Wait.

Oh.

Oh, no, he knew exactly what was going on. The fluttering in his stomach wasn’t just because he hadn’t eaten anything. The way his focus kept drifting to Jesse, the way he’d found it so easy to talk to him…

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Jesse asked, eyes wide and filled with worry.

“I’m okay. Sorry,” Lukas mumbled, his cheeks and ears going pink. He felt dizzy with the realization he’d just had. 

“Hey, it happens.” Jesse laughed a bit. “I trip over stuff all the time.”

Oh, man, even his laugh was cute. Lukas was done for.

“Y-yeah. Me too.” He dusted himself off and started walking again, keeping his eyes on the ground. 

This was okay. This was totally cool. So he had a crush on Jesse, so what? Things could still be normal.

Jesse fell back into step next to him. “So…I was wondering if you wanted to get something to eat. There’s this really good pretzel stand nearby.”

The fuzzy warmth was suddenly replaced with icy dread. “Pretzel stand?” 

“Yeah! They make the best soft pretzels. I was just wondering since we’ve been walking for a while and I thought we could use a snack.”

Lukas hesitated a bit. Eating around other people had always made him uncomfortable. He felt like they were judging him for eating too much or too little or too fast or too slow. Like no matter what he did, it was the wrong thing. 

But Jesse looked so hopeful and sweet. Maybe…maybe Lukas could give this a shot. 

“If you want, sure,” he said, trying to push the nervousness aside. “Lead the way.”

Lukas froze at the feeling of Jesse’s strong, warm hand grabbing his. He stumbled along after him—Jesse had taken off while he was distracted, pulling Lukas with him. 

When they reached the pretzel stand, Jesse’s grin got even wider. “There’s no line! Awesome!”

There was a bored-looking teenager behind the stand. “May I take your order?”

“What kind of pretzel do you want, Lukas?” Jesse asked, glancing up at him. He was bouncing a little in his excitement and it was very distractingly adorable. 

“I’ll, uh…I’ll have whatever you’re having.” 

Jesse nodded, turning back toward the employee. “Two cinnamon pretzels, please!”

Lukas stared down at his hand, still tangled in Jesse’s. He wasn’t sure if Jesse had even realized what he’d done. Not that Lukas minded; Jesse’s hand was really warm and it was actually kind of nice. His own hands had been getting cold, plus focusing on Jesse’s hand helped to quell his nervousness about the pretzel situation and the added guilt of not paying for it himself. He tried to remember that Jesse had offered—and if anything, he could always pay him back another time. 

The warmth disappeared as Jesse moved his hand to take the pretzels, pulling Lukas from his thoughts. 

“Here you go!” he said, holding one of the packets out. Lukas took it carefully, his hand brushing against Jesse’s as he did. A small part of him wished Jesse would take his hand again. 

He shoved the thought out of his mind. “Thanks.” 

He held the pretzel in both hands, staring down at it. He could feel the warmth even through the paper and it smelled lovely, but he couldn’t help the anxious feeling settled in his stomach. It was a lot bigger than he’d expected. 

“C’mon, let’s find somewhere to sit,” Jesse said with a smile, oblivious to Lukas’ hesitation. He started walking toward a bench, taking a huge bite of his pretzel. 

Lukas watched him walk a few steps ahead before following him. Being out of sight would make it a little bit easier to start. He swallowed hard before taking a small bite of his own. 

Jesse was right; it was a pretty good pretzel. It was sort of like a cinnamon roll, but a little less sweet. The bread was soft and warm, but not too hot to eat. 

“So, what do you think?” Jesse asked, sitting on the bench and moving over so Lukas could join. Half of his pretzel was already gone and there was cinnamon sugar all over his face. 

Lukas sat next to him, keeping his eyes on the pretzel as he said, “It’s good. Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like it. I like to get one of these every time I come here, so I thought it would be fun to share that with you.”

Lukas hummed slightly before carefully taking another bite. Now that some of the anxiety had dissipated, he was realizing how hungry he actually was. 

Jesse, meanwhile, was shaking the extra sugar from the packet into his mouth, though most of it was landing in his lap. He crumpled the paper into a ball and hopped to his feet, dusting his clothes off. Lukas finished the last bites of his own pretzel before folding the paper over itself a few times. 

“Here, I’ll take the trash,” he said, holding his hand out as he got up. Jesse handed him the wad of paper and he tossed them both into the garbage before walking back over.

Jesse was looking at his phone, a small pout on his face. “I didn’t realize it was so late already. Axel says he’s here to pick me up.”

“Really? It hasn’t felt like that long.”

“Yeah. I had a really nice time, though.” Jesse smiled and Lukas felt the butterflies return with a vengeance.

He couldn’t help his own smile in return. “Me too. I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Yep! Looking forward to it!” 

Jesse waved and started walking, a little bounce in his step. Lukas shoved his hands back into his pockets, walking in the opposite direction feeling warmer than that cinnamon pretzel despite the day’s chill.

—-

Lukas was grateful the apartment was empty when he returned. He figured Aiden, Maya, and Gill had gone out somewhere. 

He sat on the arm of the couch, pulling his phone from his pocket. A text from Jesse asking if he had made it home safely lit the screen up and he smiled a little before confirming and asking the same. Jesse sent a thumbs-up emoji. 

‘Awesome. See you Monday!’ Lukas typed, adding a smiley face. 

‘See u then!!’ Jesse replied with a smiley face of his own. 

Lukas stared at the message for a few seconds before opening his contacts list and clicking the first one. He held the phone up to his ear, listening as it rang a few times. He reached over to pet Dewey, who had jumped onto the top part of the couch. 

Eventually, a familiar voice came through the phone. “‘Sup, loser?” 

“Hey, Petra.”

Petra had been his closest friend since high school, though at this point, she felt more like a sister to him. She was always traveling nowadays, looking for items for her dads’ antique pawn shop, but she and Lukas still called regularly. She was the only person he could really talk to. 

“You eat anything today?” she asked. “It’s getting close to dinner over there, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I had a cinnamon pretzel at the park when I went with Jesse today.” 

“The dirty guy with the green suspenders from the bakery?”

He laughed a bit. “Yeah, him, but there wasn’t any dirt on him today. He did still have those suspenders on, though. Maybe it’s like you and that bandana.”

“Hey, I don’t want to hear it, Mr. Leather Jacket!” He could hear the grin in her voice. “Anyway, did you have a good time?”

“I did. We walked around for a while and just talked and it was pretty nice.” He smiled a little. “He’s really sweet and funny…I think I’d like it if we hung out again.” 

“It almost sounds like you have a crush on him,” she said teasingly.

He looked down at his socks, his ears going pink despite the fact that Petra wasn’t even around to see him. The heat filling his face could rival the ovens at work. Hearing her say it made it hit him all over again.

“Petra,” he said, his voice hardly above a whisper. “That’s the thing. I think I do.”

“...What?! Dude, I was kidding! What do you mean you think you do?!”

“I-I don’t know,” he stammered, standing up to pace in a small circle as he ran a hand through his hair. “We were just talking and I thought he was cute, and then I tripped and he grabbed my arm and I felt like I was gonna explode, but in a good way?”

“You know, usually when they say you’re falling for someone, they don’t mean literally,” she snorted. 

He sighed, though he couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Yeah, well. I guess I did.” He sat back on the couch. “What…what do I do?”

“Well…I’m not exactly the best person to ask about this whole romance thing,” she said, “but I say just be yourself. Tell him, but only when you’re ready.”

“What if I make things weird? Oh, man, what if he doesn’t even like guys? I don’t want to lose a friend over this, we just started—“

“Lukas,” she said, and he pressed his lips together to halt the nervous ramble before it really started. Her voice was firm, but he’d known her long enough to know she wasn’t angry as she continued. “If he stops being friends with you over this, that’s his loss. You’re a great guy.”

He still wasn’t totally convinced, but he nodded a little before remembering she couldn’t see him. “Thanks, Petra.”

“Any time. You know I’m here for you, right? And I’ll beat anyone up if I have to?”

“You won’t have to beat anyone up, Petra.” He smiled a little at the familiarity of the statement. 

“Still, you know the offer’s open,” she said. “I gotta go now, but keep me updated. And go eat some dinner.”

He stood up, walking toward the kitchen. “I will, I will.”

“Good. Love you, nerd.”

“Love you too,” he said as she hung up. 

Lukas glanced outside as he started boiling water for some instant noodles. The thick clouds gathering in the sky promised rain at some point and he was glad he’d gotten back home before it started.

His mind drifted back to Jesse again. He hadn’t had a crush on anyone in a long time, and he’d certainly never actually pursued any of them. 

Petra had said to tell him, but he wasn’t sure how much of a good idea that really was. Someone like Jesse deserved better. They were friends, and he was okay with that.

A tiny part of him still couldn’t help but wonder if this time would be different. 

Chapter Text

There was a woman behind the counter when Jesse walked into the bakery on Monday morning.

She gave an easy smile as he walked over. Her sleeves looked like they had been ripped off, showing the freckles dotting her face and arms like sprinkles. “Hey, dude. You must be Jesse. Lukas said you’d probably come in today.”

He waved, returning the smile. He’d been so excited ever since Lukas had offered to let him watch him bake that he got up early just to get to the bakery right when it opened. He had asked Stacy and Stampy to cover for him if he got to work late. “Yep, that’s me! I’m guessing you’re Nell?”

“You bet. I’ll let him know you’re here.” The beads in her hair clicked softly as she moved, disappearing through the shiny double doors behind her. 

There were a lot of shiny things in the bakery, Jesse was noticing. He could see his reflection in almost every surface, and if something wasn’t shiny, it was purple. The light flooding in from the big windows bounced off of the tables, making the room seem even brighter. There were plants everywhere, too—by the windows, by the front door, and even hanging from the ceiling. 

The highlights of the room, though, were the big display case behind the counter and the small one beside it. They were filled with beautifully decorated baked goods and it made Jesse want to try everything.

“Jesse, hey!”

He glanced over at the sound of Lukas’ voice to see his head poking out of the doorway. There were smudges of flour across his cheeks and arms and a bright smile lighting his face. Jesse could definitely tell he was happier in the kitchen.

“Hey, Lukas,” he said, unable to help his grin in return. “Thanks again for inviting me.”

Lukas gave him a thumbs-up and waved him into the kitchen. Jesse followed him, looking around. The kitchen was a lot bigger than Jesse was expecting, considering how small the front of the bakery was. The walls and tiled floor were a pale purple, and everything else was the same shiny silver as the tables out front. There were long tables covered in ingredients and baking utensils.

“Well, here we are. Ready to watch the magic happen?” 

Jesse nodded, walking toward the table. “Definitely. Show me your secrets, oh great cookie wizard.”

A pleasant warmth spread through his chest as Lukas laughed quietly. “Cookie wizard? I like that. I should get it on my nametag.” He grabbed a spoon and pointed it at Jesse, grinning. “With a wave of my wand, these random ingredients become delicious baked goods!”

Jesse started laughing, too. He took a step closer as Lukas started measuring ingredients and putting them into a bowl. There was an energy in his movements that hadn’t been there when he was behind the front counter. He started rambling about work, gesturing with the measuring spoons as he talked.

It was nice to see Lukas so happy. He seemed more at ease now than all the other times Jesse had seen him. 

“...and we all think the name is stupid because there aren’t any llamas anywhere except the logo, but Stella thinks it’s perfect and she doesn’t listen to anyone.” He paused, laughing nervously. “Sorry, uh…I’ve been talking too much.”

Jesse hadn’t even realized he wasn’t responding. “No, no, I don’t mind!” he assured, shaking his head. “I don’t mind listening. It’s nice.”

Lukas started mixing the dough. “Really? I know it gets boring when I rant about work.” 

“Yeah, your voice is nice to listen to. And I like hearing about your job and stuff. I love hearing about my friends’ days.”

Lukas paused, a soft laugh leaving him as he dumped a few handfuls of chocolate chips into the bowl. Jesse couldn’t see his face, but the tips of his ears had gone pink. “Thanks. I like talking to you, too.”

Jesse moved a little closer, that fluttery feeling filling his chest again as he noticed the tiny smile on Lukas’ face. He watched as Lukas started shaping the dough into little balls and setting them on the tray. His hands were quick, with graceful, slender fingers—very different from Jesse’s own hands, which were big and rough and clumsy. 

Jesse thought about how nicely Lukas’ hand had fit in his own yesterday. He’d grabbed it entirely on impulse, and he was glad that Lukas hadn’t seemed to mind. Jesse would like it if he got to hold his hand again.

He blinked, shaking the thought from his head. He realized he’d been staring and turned his eyes away. He was certain the heat rising in his cheeks could power the oven.

Luckily, Lukas hadn’t seemed to notice. He dusted his hands on his apron, smiling at Jesse. The smudge of flour across his cheek had grown. “So, enjoying the backstage experience?”

He watched Lukas start making more dough. His smile seemed to light the whole kitchen. “Definitely. Great show.” 

“Well…how do you feel about audience participation?” Lukas asked, holding a spoon out for Jesse. There was flour in his hair somehow and Jesse wondered if this was how he looked every day. It was a lot more charming than walking in covered in dirt.

Jesse took the spoon, holding it up like a microphone. “I think audience participation is cool! And this has been really fun!” he sang, purposely off-key. He did a little shimmy dance.

He grinned as Lukas started laughing. The sound made the fluttery feeling stronger, and Jesse wanted to keep it going. He kept singing, making up nonsense lyrics about cookies and llamas. Lukas was laughing so hard that he was doubled over, leaning against the counter for support. Jesse had never seen him like this before. He was delighted to learn that Lukas snorted when he laughed. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Lukas brought a hand up to cover his mouth, though he was still laughing slightly.

“Sorry for what? Laughing at my totally awesome song?” Jesse asked, grinning. He could tell Lukas was trying to suppress another laugh. “C’mon, you don’t have to pretend it’s not funny. I heard the snort to prove it.”

Lukas wrinkled his nose a little, his ears going pink again. “Yeah, yeah, I know I snort.” There was a slightly bitter undertone in his voice as he went back to mixing, along with a tension to the movements that hadn’t been there before. Jesse set the spoon down, watching him. He hadn’t meant to make him upset. 

“I think it’s cute,” he said without thinking. Lukas turned to look at him in surprise, and Jesse’s mind caught up to his mouth. He felt his face heat up, but he didn’t dare take it back.

Lukas stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds and Jesse started to worry he’d made him uncomfortable. His worry was dispelled when Lukas shook his head, a small smile on his face. 

“You’re silly.” He slid the bowl over to Jesse. “Here, you can shape this batch. I have to finish the pie I started before you got here.”

Jesse nodded a little and started to roll the dough into balls. He hoped he wasn’t making them too big. It took all of his self-control not to start eating the dough.

He kept glancing up at Lukas as he worked. The tension in his demeanor had dissolved, and that same small, crooked smile stayed on his face as he poured filling into a pie crust. He really was pretty cute. 

The oven beeped, the sound startling Jesse out of his thoughts. He shaped the last few balls of dough as Lukas pulled the first batch of cookies out of the oven. Jesse held the new tray out for Lukas to inspect. They seemed to be fine, since Lukas gave him a thumbs-up and took the tray, sliding it into the oven. 

Jesse wasn’t really sure what to do now that the cookies were in the oven. He wandered over to the other table, where Lukas had gone back to his pie. He was carefully placing the top on, laying the strips of crust in a lattice pattern.

“How did you get so good at baking?” Jesse asked, watching Lukas’ careful movements. He’d obviously had a lot of practice. 

Lukas shrugged before picking up another strip of crust. “It was just kind of a hobby. I used to bake with my mom when I was a kid and I always liked it, so I kept doing it.” He stepped back a little, examining the pie crust. Jesse thought it looked fine, but something must have been off because Lukas started adjusting the position of some of the strips. “I never thought I’d be working in a bakery, if I’m being honest. It just so happened that the job was available around the time I needed one and it isn’t too far from where I live.”

Seemingly satisfied with the crust this time, he carefully lifted the pie and placed it into one of the other ovens. Jesse glanced at the clock—he would have to leave soon if he wanted to get to work on time. A tiny part of him considered calling off so he could stay here, but he pushed the thought aside. He couldn’t do that.

“Can you keep a secret?” Lukas asked. Jesse turned to see him holding out one of the cookies, smiling. “I’m not technically supposed to do this, but…well, you won’t get paid for making these. Consider this your payment.” 

Jesse looked at him with wide eyes. “You won’t get in trouble for this?”

“Probably not. I can always make more cookies. Besides, Stella’s never around and I know Nell won’t care.”

Jesse took the cookie. It was still warm. “Thanks, Lukas.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said. “I had fun.”

Jesse smiled, taking a bite. Every cookie he had eaten from the bakery was good, but this one was unlike any of the others. Since it was freshly baked, the chocolate was still gooey and smooth. The cookie itself was fluffy and sweet, the perfect amount of softness with just a slight crunch on the underside of the cookie. Jesse couldn’t believe how delicious it was.

“Man, Lukas, you’re so good at this,” he mumbled through a mouthful of cookie. He licked the melted chocolate off of his fingers before washing his hands. “I could eat nothing but these cookies forever and be a happy man.”

Lukas laughed softly, glancing at the tray. “I think I could, too. I’ll walk you to the door?”

Jesse nodded and Lukas led him out to the front. Nell was leaning against the counter, doodling something. She looked up as they walked in.

“Hey, dudes. We got five whole customers while you guys were back there.” She went back to her doodle. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah! It was great. I had a really good time.” Jesse glanced at Lukas, grinning.

Lukas smiled back at him, his eyes sparkling a little. There was still flour smudged underneath one of them. Without thinking, Jesse reached out a hand and wiped it with his thumb. Those pretty blue eyes went wide in surprise.

Jesse froze with his hand still on Lukas’ cheek. What was he doing? “I, uh…um…” 

Lukas didn’t move. His cheek was steadily getting warmer under Jesse’s hand. His skin was soft. Oh, gosh, he was really pretty.

The moment was ruined when the bell above the door jingled and a loud voice said, “Man, it smells like pie in—oh, hey, Jesse!”

Jesse quickly pulled his hand away from Lukas’ cheek, turning around. His face burned. “Axel! What are you doing here? Weren’t you at work?”

His roommate shrugged. “Turns out the building we were demolishing had some weird toxic stuff in the walls. They told us to go home early while they dealt with it and I thought I’d check this place out. Is that the guy you said was really cu—”

“YEP!” Jesse said loudly before Axel could finish the sentence. He laughed nervously. “Yeah, this is Lukas. Lukas, this is Axel.”

Lukas waved. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” He turned toward Jesse. “You need a ride to work? You’re probably gonna be late if you walk.”

Jesse glanced at the clock. “Aw, geez, you're right. Yeah, I’ll take a ride. Thanks."

Axel gave him a thumbs up before turning toward the display cases. “First, though…pie.” He walked over and started looking at the baked goods.

Lukas stuck his hands in his apron pockets, offering Jesse a small, shy smile. His ears were still a little pink. "So, uh…I’ll see you later?"

“You bet. You can’t get rid of me that easily." He grinned. He'd always looked forward to his break, but ever since he started visiting the bakery it had just gotten better. He loved talking to Lukas.

He laughed, sweeping his bangs back. He left a smudge of flour on his forehead. Jesse twisted his suspender strap in his hand, resisting the urge to dust it off again. Gosh, his laugh was really cute. 

“See you, Jesse. It was nice to meet you, Axel.” He gave them both another little wave before turning and disappearing back into the kitchen. 

“See you, Lukas.” Jesse walked over to Axel, who was staring at the pies in the display case.

“There are so many good ones! How am I supposed to pick just one?!” Axel covered his eyes with one hand and pointed. “Jesse, what’s this one?”

“Uh...lemon.”

“Perfect. Olivia likes lemon, too, right? Wait, no, she hates lemon. Dang.” Axel sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “This is so hard!”

“What about cherry?” Jesse asked, thinking about the pie Lukas had been working on. It looked really good, and it hadn’t even been baked yet. Besides, he was fond of cherry pie and he knew Olivia was, too.

“I can’t believe I forgot about cherry! I got so caught up in all these different flavors that I forgot the classics.”

“Happens to the best of us,” Nell said, walking over. She pointed to the display case. “You’re getting cherry? Whole thing or just a slice?”

“Yeah. The whole pie.” Axel pulled his wallet out of his shorts pocket. Jesse wasn’t sure how he was still wearing shorts so late into fall, but it was Axel. It was better not to question it. 

“Anything else? Today’s cupcake is brown sugar cinnamon.” She gestured to the cupcake display in the window. It was a really good-looking cupcake…

“Sure,” Jesse said, pulling his own wallet out of his pocket. “I like cinnamon.” 

“Gnarly, dude. Come back soon.” She put the pie into a big white box and the cupcake into a smaller one. Both had a little window with the llama logo on it. 

Axel grinned, both of them thanking Nell as he took the boxes. He handed them to Jesse and led him to the car. Jesse carefully balanced them on his lap as he buckled his seatbelt. He looked out of the window at the bakery. Through the big front windows, he could see that Nell was hunched over the counter again, drawing. 

They drove in silence for a little while before Axel said, “What’s it like back in the kitchen?” He grinned, turning to look at Jesse as they hit a red light. “Does it smell good?”

Jesse nodded. He kept one hand on the boxes to make sure they didn’t slide onto the floor. “Oh, yeah. It was amazing. The whole place smelled like cookies.”

“You should’ve taken some! The cookies from there were really good. I can’t believe you spent all that time making them and didn’t even get any. What was the point?”

Jesse decided not to mention the cookie Lukas had given him. He didn’t want him to get in any trouble. “To hang out with my new friend? Besides, I can always get some when I go back.” 

He picked the small box up, looking through the little plastic window. The cupcake was surprisingly big. The frosting swirled perfectly, a small bit of cinnamon sugar sprinkled on top. It was simple, but it was pretty.

“Do you want any of this one?” he asked, glancing at Axel as the car started moving again. He set the box back on his lap. 

“Yeah, save me some. It looks good.” Axel parked the car, turning in his seat to face Jesse. “Consider it my payment for driving you to work.” 

Jesse nodded. That seemed fair. He got out of the car and set the pie box back on the seat, keeping the cupcake box with him. He glanced at the time—good, he wasn’t late yet. He had a few minutes to spare.  “I will. Thanks, Axel.”

His roommate gave him a thumbs-up. “See you later, Jesse. I’ll try to save you some pie.” He grinned. “No promises, though.”

Jesse shrugged. “I’m at the bakery all the time. I could just buy a whole pie and not share with you.” He laughed at Axel’s affronted look.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Maybe I would. See you!” Jesse grinned and ran inside before Axel could say anything else. He didn’t want to be late, after all.

He wouldn’t actually get a whole pie just for himself, just like he knew Axel and Olivia wouldn’t finish the pie without him. They’d just been friends for so long that it was like second nature to tease each other. 

He walked into work exactly on time. He set the cupcake with his lunch and started getting ready. He was already looking forward to his break. Baking with Lukas had been really fun, even if he hadn’t really done much of the baking part. He wondered if they could do it again sometime when neither of them would have to worry about being on a schedule. That would be nice. 

Chapter Text

Lukas opened the door, shivering as the chilly night air hit his face. He leaned against the building and took a few deep breaths, watching them form wisps in front of him before looking up at the sky. A few clouds were gathering, promising snow sometime soon. Once his breathing was a little more regular and his hands had stopped shaking, he called Petra.

“Hello…?” She sounded half-asleep and Lukas suddenly felt a little bad about calling. He’d forgotten her time zone was only an hour ahead of his this time.

“Hey,” he said. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were still asleep.”

“It’s cool, don’t worry. Shouldn’t you also be asleep?” She yawned. Lukas could hear her sit up and click a light on. 

“Yeah.”

“Nightmares again?”

“Yeah…”

She hummed slightly. “Distraction?”

“Please.” He looked down at the sidewalk, listening to the cars pass by. The cold seeped right through his thick sweater and fuzzy pajama pants, making him shiver more. He should have grabbed a blanket or something. 

“How was your week? We haven’t talked since, like, Tuesday.”

“I guess we haven’t. It was good.”

“Did that guy come again at all?” He could practically hear the teasing smile on her face. He rolled his eyes, but he smiled a little, too. 

“He comes in every day now. I saw him twice on Monday, since I invited him to the back. Did I tell you about that?” His smile widened at the memory. It had been really nice having Jesse there to talk to.

“You might have mentioned it. Three or four times.”

Lukas laughed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well…yeah. It was nice.”

Petra was quiet for a few moments before releasing a fond sigh. “Tell me about him.”

“Well…he’s kind of short and chubby. Like a little cupcake. And you know the way the frosting sticks up all funny when you’re spreading it? That’s what his hair looks like. It’s always all messy, but it looks really fluffy.” He smiled, nudging a weed in the sidewalk crack with the tip of his shoe. “And his hands are so warm. I bet he’d be really comfy to cuddle.” His mind caught up to his mouth and he went red. “I-I mean…uh…”

“Oh, man, you got it bad!” Petra laughed, the sound muffled like she’d put her hand over her mouth. Lukas hid his face in his hand even though she couldn’t see him. “Dude, you really need to tell him before you end up saying something like that to his face.”

“I know, I know. I will, just…not yet.” He leaned his head back against the rough brick wall, looking up at the thick clouds again and rubbing his arm a little for warmth. He should probably go back inside soon; he was starting to lose feeling in his fingers. He yawned.

“You should probably go back to sleep. It’s late. Early? Whatever. Sleep.”

“Yeah. Thanks for this, Petra.”

“Anytime, you know that.” Now it was her turn to yawn. “Eat something today. Love you.”

“I’ll try. Love you too.” The phone beeped softly as Petra ended the call. Lukas sighed, running a hand down his face. He walked back into the apartment building, keeping one hand on the wall as he walked up the stairs. 

He opened the door to the apartment, cringing as it creaked. He held his breath, waiting for a few seconds after closing and locking it. He breathed a sigh of relief when there was no Aiden coming out of his room to complain about the noise. Dewey rubbed against his legs and he smiled a little.

Lukas curled up on the sofa again, pulling his blanket around himself.  He stared at the coffee table for a while before eventually drifting back to sleep.

—-

It was only a few hours later that he was being shaken awake.

“Can’t believe I’m up before you. Especially on a Saturday.” Aiden stopped shaking him as he sat up, holding his head in his hands. He could already feel a headache forming.  “Anyway, get up. Maya and Gill are coming over today.”

Lukas tried not to sigh. Of course. Yes, he was friends with Maya and Gill, too, but he really wasn’t feeling up to having company over. Especially since it always got so loud and messy whenever they came over. Well…messier than usual.

“Come on, Sleeping Beauty. They’ll be here soon.” Aiden grabbed a video game controller and flopped onto the couch as soon as Lukas had dragged himself off of it. He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

The mirror caught his eye as he was putting his toothbrush back. He paused, studying his reflection. The bags under his eyes were only getting darker. He poked at his cheek slightly, wrinkling his nose at the way it squished beneath his finger like bread dough. Ugh, his nose…he wasn’t fond of that, either. It was too big for his face. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging on the door. “Hey, you almost done in there? They’re on their way.” Lukas tore his eyes away from the mirror. He splashed some water on his face, ran a hand through his hair, and pulled the door open. 

Aiden was already back on the couch, two game controllers on the coffee table and the menu screen for Mario Kart on the TV. He looked up as Lukas walked back in. “I already fed your cat, by the way. He wouldn’t stop screaming at me. I don’t know how you slept through it.”

Lukas blinked, a little surprised. “Oh, thanks.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Aiden looked back at his phone. “Go get the door, they’re outside.”

Lukas nodded, wincing slightly at the pain in his head. He unlocked the door and pulled it open. He was immediately crushed in a big bear hug, his feet lifting off of the ground a little.

“Lukas, hey! Great to see you!”

“Gill, we just saw him on Wednesday night.” Maya rolled her eyes, but she was fighting a small, fond smile. “Put him down, you’re squishing him.”

Once Lukas could breathe again, he gave them both a smile and led them inside. “It’s good to see you guys again, too.” 

He tucked himself into the corner of the couch across from Aiden as Gill greeted him just as enthusiastically. Aiden rolled his eyes and tried to shove him away, though there was the hint of a smile on his face. It was hard for anyone to really be upset with Gill, even Aiden.

“Mario Kart?” Maya grinned, looking over at Aiden. “Didn’t get enough of a beating last time?”

He scoffed. “You know that was just because the controller wasn’t working right—“

“Because you threw it against the wall!”

“Yeah, because it wasn’t working! Watch, I’ll beat you.” He grabbed one of the controllers. Maya set the bag she was holding down on the coffee table, pulling out two more controllers and a bag of chips. She handed Gill one of the controllers and sat on the couch between Aiden and Lukas. Gill settled on the floor in front of her. 

They managed to get through two courses before Maya and Aiden started arguing. Lukas sighed, the noise only making his headache worse. He knew the fighting was inevitable, but he didn’t have to like it. 

“You cheated! There’s no way you just did that!”

“Yeah, I cheated at Mario Kart.” Maya rolled her eyes. “Just admit you suck at it, Aiden.”

Lukas watched as Aiden drove off of the course for the fifth time, followed by a very long and loud list of swear words. He was so far behind that he was actually ahead of Maya, who had maintained a steady position of first place for the entire round. She tossed the controller down as she passed the finish line. 

“Take that! Baby Daisy never loses!”

“This isn’t even one of the hard courses, dude,” Gill said. “This is kind of sad. You just lost to a baby.”

“Shut up, Gill!”

Lukas set his own controller down, finishing third. Not bad. He settled back against the couch cushions, watching everything go down. Aiden swore again as he drove into another wall. If it were real life, poor Wario would have serious brain damage.

Gill finished in seventh place and reached for the bag of chips Maya had brought with her. He tore it open and held it up to her and Lukas. “Want any?”

“Sure. We have to wait another ten minutes for Aiden to finish anyway.” She grabbed a chip between her fingernails. She must have just painted them recently; they were a different color than they had been on Wednesday and the polish wasn’t chipped yet. 

“I’m good. Thanks, though.” 

Gill shrugged, setting the bag between himself and Maya. Dewey rubbed against his legs and he smiled. “Dewbert! Great to see you, little guy.” He scratched behind his ears, the cat purring as he nudged his head into Gill’s side. 

Aiden finally finished the race, tossing his controller onto the coffee table. He reached over and grabbed a handful of chips. “I hate this game.”

Maya snickered. “Yeah, ‘cause you suck at it.”

“Shut up! I’m great at it!” He threw the chips at her. Great, now Lukas would have to clean more chips out of the cushions unless he wanted to wake up with chips in his hair again. “It’s the controller!”

“Sure it is. Let’s rematch, then. We can switch controllers if you really think that’s the issue.” She rolled her eyes, holding the controller out to him. 

“You’re on. Just me and you.” Aiden took the controller and another handful of chips. “Gill, you make sure she’s not cheating.”

“You got it.” He gave Dewey one last little scratch on the head before turning his attention to the screen. The cat hopped onto Lukas’ lap instead, offended that Gill would pay attention to anything else. 

Dewey’s soft fur was a nice distraction from his headache as he watched Aiden continue to lose at Mario Kart. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. He was pretty sure Maya was just messing with him at this point. 

“I don't think he’s gonna win,” Gill whispered loudly, looking up at Lukas. He was grinning a little. 

“I can hear you, Gill!”

Gill ignored Aiden and scooted closer to Lukas. He grabbed another handful of chips. “You doing okay, man? You’ve been kinda quiet the whole time, even for you.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. My head just hurts.” He glanced over as Maya started laughing again. Aiden was fuming—Lukas gave it about thirty seconds before the controller went flying. Dewey hopped off of his lap, fed up with the noise. Lukas didn’t blame him. 

“Aw, that sucks. Sorry they’re being so loud.”

Lukas shrugged. “I live with him, I’m used to it.”

Gill winced as the controller hit the wall. Maya rolled her eyes. “That’s why your controllers don’t work, dummy. Stop throwing them.”

Aiden just glared at her. Lukas sighed, standing up and grabbing the controller. Mario Kart never ended well. He didn’t know why Aiden kept picking it. He set the controller back on the coffee table before dropping back onto the couch.

“We should go out,” Gill suggested, trying to clear the tension in the room. “The mall should be open by the time we get there.”

“The mall?” Aiden rolled his eyes. “We’re not going to the mall. The arcade is way cooler.”

Maya nodded. “I hate to say it, but yeah. The arcade is pretty cool. Right, Lukas?”

“It is, but I might just stay here.” 

“Lame! You never have any fun.” Aiden grabbed his jacket. “I bet you just want to write in your little diary while no one is here.”

Lukas bit the inside of his cheek, doing his best not to respond with some snappy comment. His patience was crumbling like a cobbler and he didn’t have the energy for this. “No, my head hurts and the arcade is always really loud.”

“Whatever. Your loss. Come on, guys.” Aiden opened the door, leading Maya and Gill out. Gill waved as he left.

“Feel better!”

Lukas returned the wave. “Thanks, Gill. See you guys.”

The door closed with a soft click and he sighed. Finally, some peace and quiet. He turned the television off, lining the controllers up on the coffee table. He gathered the chips from the couch and floor and closed the bag. The room tilted slightly and he paused, leaning against the couch. 

Oh, yeah. He should probably eat. 

Once his vision had cleared, he went to the kitchen and threw the dirty chips into the garbage before washing his hands. Ugh, he needed to do the dishes. He wouldn’t be able to bake anything with the sink full like this. 

He put a slice of bread in the toaster, setting a plate on the counter. He rolled his sleeves up and started washing the dishes. He really needed to get some gloves—if he had to touch one more wet piece of food from Aiden’s dirty dishes, he was going to lose it.

Once the dishes were washed, dried, and put away, he grabbed a knife and the butter. He set them next to the plate on the counter. The toaster popped, the sound startling him a bit in the otherwise quiet room. He sighed as he buttered his toast.

Lukas put the butter back in the fridge and sat down with his toast, taking a bite. At least it tasted good. He stared outside as he ate. It had started snowing. A small part of him hoped Aiden’s stupid car got stuck. 

He shook his head slightly. No, that was mean. Besides, then Aiden would be in a worse mood and Lukas didn’t want to deal with that. 

The snow was peaceful, though. The flakes weren’t too big yet, but they swirled down gently. He watched for a little longer before putting his dishes in the sink. Ugh, more to wash. There was always more to wash. 

He washed and dried those, too, before going back to the couch. He knelt in front of it, dragging one of the boxes out from underneath. He rummaged around until he found his journal and pen, folding his knees closer to his chest as he wrote. The ink grew darker and angrier as he pressed harder, spilling the week’s frustrations onto the pages. 

It was when he accidentally ripped a hole in the paper that he decided he needed to actually talk to a person. 

He took a deep breath before finishing his journal entry and tucking it back into the bottom of the box. He pulled his apron and the recipe notebook out instead, pushing the box back under the couch. He used the coffee table to push himself back up and grabbed his phone. 

Petra was probably already busy by now, so he didn’t want to bother her. Was Jesse busy? He wouldn’t mind talking to Jesse. He wasn’t just going to call out of nowhere, though. 

He hesitated slightly before sending him a quick text. Just a simple hello and “are you busy?” He pulled his apron on and tied it while he waited for a reply. He flipped through the recipe book, deciding it was a vanilla cupcake kind of day. He set the oven to preheat. 

The phone screen lit up again with Jesse’s reply. ‘Nope!! What’s up?’

‘Nothing really, I just wanted to chat. Can we call?’

A few seconds later, the phone was buzzing, Jesse’s contact picture lighting the screen. Lukas hadn’t been able to get a picture of him yet, so it was just a picture of a cookie. He answered the call and put it on speaker mode.

“Hey, Lukas! How’s it going?”

He smiled, a bit of his tension fading. He started gathering the ingredients. “I was about to make cupcakes. The apartment is empty, so I figured it would be a good time to call instead and keep my hands free.”

“Makes sense! Axel and Olivia are here, but we were all just doing our own thing. We just finished breakfast.” There was some shifting, then a soft click. “There, I went to the room so I wouldn't disturb them. You said you’re making cupcakes?”

“Yeah, vanilla.” Lukas started putting the cupcake liners into the pan. “Have you ever made cupcakes?”

Jesse laughed, the sound still pleasant even through the slight crackle of the phone speaker. “Are you kidding? I can’t bake.”

“Really?” The oven beeped, signaling the end of the preheat. He set the pans aside and started measuring the flour.

“Oh, yeah. This one time I tried to make brownies, and I wound up with bricks so solid I could have used them in construction. Axel wanted to save them to throw at people, but Olivia wouldn’t let him.”

The mental image of rock-solid brownies used as a building material or a projectile made him laugh. “I’m sure they weren’t that bad. The cookies we made on Monday were good, right?”

“Only because you did most of the work. I don’t think I could recreate that alone.” 

Lukas hummed a little, measuring out the wet ingredients. He grabbed the whisk and started stirring. “I could always send you the recipe, if you want. Cookies are pretty easy to make.”

There was a pause as Jesse seemed to consider it. Then,  “Sure, why not? It could be fun!”

“I’ll send it once I hang up, then.” He grabbed the rainbow sprinkles and dumped a few spoonfuls in before going back to stirring. “Hm, I have to get more of these.”

“More of what?”

Lukas hadn’t realized he’d spoken out loud. “Huh? Oh, rainbow sprinkles. I’m almost out.”

“Ooh! I like putting those in hot chocolate. With lots of whipped cream, too.”

“That’s what I always do.” He glanced outside at the falling snow. “I should make some when I finish these.”

“That sounds good, actually. I should make some, too.”

Lukas carefully started spooning the batter into the liners. He hummed softly. “Mixing the sprinkles in made the batter blue. Guess I mixed too much this time.”

“Does that affect the taste? I mean, they’re just sprinkles.”

“It doesn’t, but my roommate will complain about it. He always finds something to complain about.” He sighed, sliding the pans into the oven. He set the timer and dusted his hands on his apron. 

“Oh, he’s one of those people?”

“Unfortunately.” He grabbed a mug and a spoon, pouring some milk into the mug and putting it into the microwave. “You should’ve heard him this morning. He was throwing a fit because our friend Maya beat him at Mario Kart. He refuses to admit he’s just bad at the game.” The microwave beeped and he pulled the mug out. He added the chocolate syrup and started stirring. 

Jesse hummed slightly. “That doesn’t sound fun. I mean, Axel’s pretty bad at Mario Kart, but he still has fun with it.”

“He always does that. He always has to win or have his way or else he gets angry. He never has anything nice to say and he always pushes Maya and Gill into doing what he wants. He doesn’t even help around the house—he can’t cook, he never cleans, and he always leaves his stupid dirty laundry everywhere even though he has a bedroom!” Lukas stirred the hot cocoa a little too aggressively, wincing slightly as some splashed onto his hand. He wiped it on his apron and sighed. “Sorry. It’s…been a long week.”

“I can tell. You don’t have to apologize, though, I get it. He just sounds frustrating to be around.”

Lukas laughed, though it sounded bitter even to him. “That’s one way to put it.”

“Why do you stay?”

“Neither of us make enough money on our own to pay the rent for this place, but we wanted to live near Maya and Gill. We’ve been friends since middle school.” Aw, they didn’t have any marshmallows. He added the whipped cream and sprinkles to his mug and set it on the table to cool a bit. He grabbed his phone, dropping into one of the chairs. “I don’t have a choice. Besides, it could be worse.”

Jesse was quiet for a few moments and Lukas was worried he’d said too much. All he’d been doing was complaining, hadn’t he? He was about to apologize again when Jesse spoke. “Are you free tomorrow night?”

“…huh?”

“I mean, if you need to get out of the house a little, I’d love to have you over. I could make dinner and we could just relax a little. I’m sure Axel and Olivia wouldn’t mind.” 

Lukas hesitated slightly. Dinner? With Jesse? His heart fluttered at the idea of getting to spend more time with him outside of work, but his nerves dampened the feeling. So much could go wrong. 

But…it was Jesse. And maybe it would be the perfect opportunity to tell him how he felt, too. As long as he could work up the courage, that is. Maybe the news would be so surprising that Jesse wouldn’t notice he hadn’t eaten. But if he ruined their friendship…

“Lukas? Are you still there?”

Jesse’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Oh, yeah, he hadn’t answered. “Sorry, I spaced out a little. I’d love to come over.”

“Awesome!” Lukas could practically hear the beaming smile in Jesse’s voice. “I’ll send you the address later.”

“Thanks.” He took a sip of his cocoa. Ow, still too hot. He set the mug back on the table, keeping his hands on it for some warmth. “It’ll be nice to hang out.”

“Yeah! Hey, maybe we could play Mario Kart. I won’t get mad if I don’t win.” 

He stirred his cocoa around, watching the whipped cream melt into the liquid. He took another small sip. It was still too hot, but that was fine. He smiled a little. “That sounds nice.”

He glanced outside again, his smile dropping as he saw Aiden’s car driving towards the building. He wrinkled his nose. There went his peace. “I have to go now. Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, any time! I like talking to you. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He couldn’t help another small smile. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye, Jesse.”

“Bye, Lukas!”

The phone beeped softly as he hung up. Lukas grabbed his recipe notebook from the counter and flipped through it until he got to the chocolate chip cookie page. Angling the phone so the shadow of his arm didn’t block the page, he took a picture. Good, it wasn’t blurry. He sent it to Jesse with a little smiley face attached. A few seconds later, Jesse sent his address and a time to meet, immediately followed by another message with a thank you and a smiley face of his own. 

Lukas hummed a little. Jesse lived kind of far, but it was nothing he couldn’t walk. He’d just have to leave early. 

The oven beeped and he grabbed a butter knife, pulling the door open. He didn’t even have to stab into a cupcake to see they hadn’t finished. He sighed and closed the oven, putting another five minutes on the timer. He sat down again. 

He watched the numbers go down, wishing they could afford an oven that worked like it was supposed to. He knew he should probably wash the dishes from baking, but he’d already had to wash dishes twice that morning and his head still hurt, albeit less than it had earlier. 

The door opened then, accompanied by the familiar sound of complaining. “I thought you said it wasn’t supposed to snow today!”

“I said the weather app said that! Sorry I don’t control the weather!” He couldn’t see Maya yet, but he knew she was rolling her eyes. 

Gill interrupted them both before it could escalate further. “It smells like cupcakes!” 

Aiden walked into the kitchen, still wearing his boots. A trail of snow and little rocks followed. Cool. Lukas would have to clean the floor, too. “You’re baking again? You do that all week at work. Why do you need to do it here, too?”

“Aw, come on, don’t be like that. His baking’s delicious!” Gill and Maya walked in. They’d taken their boots off, at least. “Are they ready yet?”

“Not yet. I had to put more time on the oven.” He leaned against the counter, glancing at the timer. Gill was right; it was starting to smell like cupcakes. That was a good sign. 

Before he could say anything else, Aiden kicked the oven with a loud bang. Lukas had to restrain the urge to physically pull him away. “Don’t do that! If it breaks completely, then what? We can’t get a new one, or else we would have done that already!”

Aiden kicked it again. “This makes it work better. Trust me.”

“If you break your oven, I’m not letting you near ours. Lukas can use it, though.” Maya folded her arms. 

“Like I’d use it anyway. I don’t cook.” Thankfully, Aiden sat at the table instead of kicking the oven a third time. It beeped and Lukas pulled it open, sticking a knife into one of the cupcakes with a little more force than was necessary. It came out clean. Thank goodness. 

He set the knife on the counter and grabbed the oven mitt, carefully pulling the tray out and setting it on the stovetop to cool. He turned the oven off. 

He resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to do the dishes again and grabbed the sponge. He set the soapy measuring spoons in the other side of the sink. 

“Here, I’ll help!” Gill came over and started rinsing. They fell into a simple rhythm. The dishes were done a lot faster and set aside to dry. 

“Thanks, Gill.” He smiled, drying his hands on his apron. He grabbed the container of frosting and the knife he’d used to check the cupcakes. They were probably cool enough to frost now. 

Lukas frosted each cupcake carefully, making sure not to put too much. He put each one in a plastic container as he finished. It was a shame about the sprinkles running out—he usually put some on top of the cupcakes, too, but there weren’t enough this time.

Once all of the cupcakes were neatly frosted, he set three on a small plate and put it on the table. “Here, they’re ready.”

Gill grabbed the first one and took a bite. Through a mouthful of cupcake, he mumbled, “This is so good, man. I don’t know how you do it.”

“You never put enough frosting. And why are they blue?” Despite his complaining, Aiden still took one. Lukas bit back a snarky retort, instead focusing on closing the container without squishing the cupcakes. 

“It is kinda weird having blue vanilla cupcakes, but at least they taste good.” Maya peeled the liner back carefully, glancing at Lukas. “You’re not having one?”

He shook his head. “I’m good. You and Gill can take the rest.” He held the container out to Gill, who had finished his cupcake and was trying to get the last few crumbs out of the liner. 

“Awesome! You’re the best.” Gill took the container with a grin. Lukas usually wound up giving him the things he baked at home. He was glad someone was enjoying them—he didn’t really eat them and Aiden always found something to complain about. 

Speaking of which…

Lukas glanced at his roommate. “I have to go out tomorrow night.”

“Cool. Get some more coffee while you’re at the store, we’re almost out.” He turned toward Maya. “Since we’re stuck here now, I’m gonna destroy you at Mario Kart again.”

Lukas decided not to bother correcting him. It was better if Aiden didn’t know where he was going. He just nodded as Maya laughed. 

“Oh, you wish. But you’re on.”

There went any hope of a peaceful afternoon. Sometimes he wished he could disappear the way Dewey did; he hadn’t seen the cat since earlier. He had the right idea, getting away from it all. 

Lukas thought about his plans for tomorrow with a small smile. Well…he’d be able to get away from it all, too. 

The thought kept him going as Aiden and Maya started arguing again. 

Chapter Text

Jesse had never had anyone visit the apartment before. Axel and Olivia had been his only friends for a long time, and even his friends from work had never come over. He was excited, but also a little nervous. 

He’d spent the morning trying to make cookies with the recipe Lukas sent him. It had taken a few mishaps and flour all over the countertop, but he’d finally managed. They looked…different from usual, but hopefully they were still good. He hadn’t even eaten any of the cookie dough, wanting to give Lukas a full batch. 

Now, with the counter cleaned and the cookies arranged nicely in a container, he was finishing making dinner. Cooking was safe territory—he could do that no problem. He figured spaghetti was a safe bet. Who doesn’t like spaghetti?

“How long do I have to stir this?” 

Axel had been recruited as Jesse’s sous-chef since Olivia was tidying the living room. He was mixing the sauce while Jesse searched for candles. He could swear they had some…

“Just until it’s all mixed through.” There, candles! He set them on the table as the oven beeped. “Awesome, the garlic bread!”

Axel stepped aside as he pulled the tray out of the oven, setting it on the stovetop to cool. Jesse took the spoon back from his roommate, examining the pot. It looked and smelled really good. He hoped Lukas would like it. 

“What time is he getting here again?” Olivia asked, walking in. 

“He said he’d be here around five. The food is done, I just have to set the table and get dressed.” He put the lid on the spaghetti pot and tossed the spoon into the sink. 

She hummed slightly, looking between him and the pot. “Great. I just remembered that Axel and I have to go somewhere tonight.”

“Huh? No, we—”

“See you, Jesse! Have fun!” Olivia grabbed Axel’s arm, pulling him out. Jesse looked after them in confusion. Aw, now Lukas wouldn’t get to properly meet them both. 

Well…whatever it was they had to do, they were already gone. He might as well finish getting ready. 

He pulled out the tablecloth they used for special occasions, smoothing the wrinkles out. He set the candles he’d found in the center. 

Once everything was arranged, he took a step back to admire his handiwork. He’d managed to find dishware that matched while still being colorful, offering a bit of brightness to the whole thing. It wasn’t quite perfect, but it was nice. 

He went to the bedroom, putting on the clothing he’d set out on the bed earlier. He’d decided to keep it simple: a black button-down, nice gray pants, and his green suspenders. He glanced at himself in the mirror, smiling a little. He was excited. 

The doorbell rang and Jesse’s smile only grew wider. He went out and opened the door. “Hey, Lukas!”

The light from the hallway made his pretty blond hair look like it was glowing. He was smiling, a small bouquet of pink and white flowers in his arms. “Hey, Jesse. I didn’t want to show up empty-handed, so…” 

“Oh, these are beautiful!” He took the flowers carefully, admiring them. They’d look lovely on the table. “Thank you! Here, come inside. You can leave your shoes by the door.”

He went to the kitchen, hearing the door close as Lukas walked in. Jesse filled a vase with water, setting it in the center of the table and putting the flowers in it. He lit the candles before taking a step back, putting his hands on his hips. Now it looked perfect.

He went back to the living room to see Lukas looking around. “The food’s ready if you want to eat now. Or I could give you the tour first.”

“A tour sounds fun,” he said, turning to look at Jesse. “Your place is nice.”

“Thanks.” His gaze landed on the cluttered coffee table and the blankets tossed haphazardly on the couch. “Sorry about the mess. We tried to clean a little earlier, but we got distracted.” 

“Mess? I mean, it’s not spotless, but it’s way—it's clean. It must be nice.” The last part was mumbled, barely audible as he turned to keep looking around.

“You can thank Olivia for that. Without her, the whole apartment would probably be a mess.” He laughed a bit, moving the blankets aside. “For now, though, it’s mostly just mine and Axel’s room.” He led him to the doorway and pushed it open slightly. 

Aside from some clothes around the room that hadn’t been put away and the clutter on the nightstands, it actually wasn’t too bad. At least, Lukas didn’t seem to think so. There was something Jesse couldn’t quite place in his eyes as he looked around. 

“So…this is Axel’s bed, and this one is mine.” He started trying to tidy his blankets at least a little. As he was shaking them out, his pig plushie fell to the floor. 

Lukas picked it up. “What a cute little guy.” He handed it back to Jesse. “I didn’t know you liked pigs.” 

Jesse dusted the little plushie off before gently setting it on his pillow. His chest tightened a little. “I love pigs. My best friend was a pig.” He pointed to a picture on his nightstand, in the only clear space. It was a picture of Reuben that he, Axel, and Olivia had all written little messages on. Lukas bent down to look at it.

“Oh, I’m…I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I’m sure he’s happy up there.” He cast one more glance at the picture before turning away. He didn’t want the rest of the dinner to be so sad—time to change the subject. “Here, check out Axel’s rock collection. It’s his pride and joy.”

He led Lukas to a box on the bookshelf. It was a beautiful, shiny wooden box with a velvet interior, split into sections. Each one was filled with rocks of all kinds. Big, small, shiny, dirty…whatever it was, it was in that box. 

“Wow. This is impressive.” He leaned forward a little, admiring the rocks. It really was—Axel had been collecting rocks for as long as Jesse could remember. Any time he saw a nice rock, it went into his pocket. He had put a lot of effort into maintaining and organizing them. 

Their awed silence was broken by Lukas’ stomach growling. 

His face went pink as he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to have lunch today.”

“Why didn’t you say so? C’mon, the food’s already done. Let’s go eat.” No one was going hungry on his watch. He led him back to the kitchen and pulled one of the chairs out. “You can sit down, I just have to grab the food. What do you want to drink?”

“Just some water, please.” He sat down, looking at the candles. His fingers tapped against the nice jeans he was wearing. 

Jesse served a bowl of pasta and a slice of garlic bread on a plate. He set it in front of Lukas before serving his own portion, setting that on the table as well. He filled two cups with ice and water and brought those to the table before finally sitting down. 

“Thank you, Jesse.” Lukas picked the fork up, twirling it in the pasta a little. “It smells really good.”

Jesse smiled, twirling his own pasta onto the fork and eating it. It tasted good, too, which was a relief. He’d been worried the sauce would be a bit too overpowering—as much as he trusted Axel to help, he tended to have a very heavy hand with seasonings. 

“Thanks! I wasn’t sure what kind of foods you liked, so I figured pasta was a safe bet.” He ate another forkful. 

Lukas took a sip of his water, smiling. “Well, you were right. I love pasta and garlic bread.”

“Who doesn’t?” 

He watched Lukas keep twirling the pasta around. He hadn’t taken a bite yet. Wasn’t he hungry?

“How have you been? I feel like I didn’t ask about you at all yesterday.” Another twirl of the fork and a sip of water. 

Jesse shrugged. He realized he was staring and took a sip of his own water. “Pretty good. It’s been a simple weekend. We went shopping yesterday after I got off the phone.”

Lukas hummed slightly, pushing the noodles off of his fork with the edge of the plate and twirling a smaller amount. He finally took the first bite and Jesse’s worry eased a bit as he saw his eyes go wide. He seemed to like the pasta.

He decided to continue talking after he’d finished his bite of garlic bread. “I wanted to officially introduce you to Axel and Olivia today. Well, I guess you already kind of met Axel, but still. I wanted you to actually meet them both. Anyway, they helped me set all this up, but right before you were supposed to get here, Olivia said they had to go do something.”

“I’m sure I’ll meet them at some point. You can tell them I don’t bite.” He smiled, finally looking a bit more relaxed. He’d seemed so tense since opening the door. 

“I do, but only if it’s cookies,” he joked. “Tastes way better than biting people.”

That one got Jesse a snort. Lukas covered his mouth, but the slight crinkling of his nose gave his smile away. His earrings glinted in the candlelight as he laughed.

This is almost like a date.

Jesse froze with his fork halfway to his mouth. A date? Where had that thought come from? They were just friends, right?

Did he like Lukas that way?

He ate his last forkful of pasta, turning that thought over in his mind. A date. Lukas did look beautiful in his dark blue sweater and white button-down, but Lukas always looked beautiful. Just because they were eating a candlelit dinner didn’t mean they were in love. He would know, right?

Lukas’ voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “This is probably the best garlic bread I’ve ever had.” 

Jesse looked back up to see him holding the half-eaten slice, his eyes wide. That sweater really brought out his eyes. “You really think so?”

Lukas nodded enthusiastically, taking another bite. Jesse smiled, glad to see he was enjoying it. “I can give you the recipe if you want, since you gave me the recipe for—oh! That reminds me!”

He shoved the last bit of his own garlic bread in his mouth before gathering his dishes and dropping them into the sink. He washed his hands and grabbed the container from the counter. 

He started to speak before remembering he had a mouthful of bread. He swallowed and tried again, holding the container out. “These are for you! I made those cookies!”

Lukas took it carefully, smiling. “Thank you. I can’t wait to try them.” He set the container on his lap. 

“I hope they taste okay. I’m pretty sure I followed the recipe exactly.” Speaking of which, he’d been getting Lukas his garlic bread recipe. Right. He grabbed his recipe book, flipping through the pages. 

“If they’re anything like this garlic bread, I’m sure they’ll be delicious.” 

Jesse grinned as he found the page he was looking for. He took a picture, then re-took it since the first one was blurry. He sent it to Lukas and put the recipe book back where he found it.

He sat back at the table, waiting for Lukas to finish. He couldn’t stop his gaze from drifting toward him again. His butter-blond hair was always so nicely styled. And it looked so soft, too. He probably took good care of it. 

“So, um…how has work been?” Lukas asked. He’d started tapping his fingers again.

“Great! We’re making really good progress. The foundation is all set, so we should be moving forward with the project soon.” Jesse was excited to see the finished building. That probably wouldn’t be for a while, though.

Lukas hummed a little. “You said you guys are working on a restaurant, right?”

“Yep, one of those classy ones. Do you think the food will be any good?”

Lukas shrugged, pushing the last bit of pasta around. He twirled it onto his fork. “Maybe. Their garlic bread will probably pale in comparison to yours, though.” He stared at the pasta for a few seconds before eating it. The bowl clinked softly as he set the fork down. 

“Aww, thanks! I’m glad you liked it so much,”  Jesse said, smiling as he took the empty bowl to the sink and filled it with water. “I think there’s some left over if you want to take it with you.” He started to wrap it in foil. Even if Lukas said no, he’d still need to put it away. 

“…Yeah, I’ll take some,” Lukas said after a few seconds. Jesse handed him the wrapped bread and he set it on top of the container of cookies before picking them both up. “Thanks, Jesse.”

“Any time! Now that we’ve eaten, what do you want to do next?” 

Lukas’ fingers tapped against the container. “Well…the tour did get cut short. I’d like to see the rest of the apartment, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure! It’s really just Olivia’s room and the living room, since you already saw the kitchen. And the bathroom, I guess, but that’s nothing fancy.” He led Lukas out of the kitchen and down the hall. “I don’t really want to go into her room since she’s not home, but I’m sure she won’t mind you looking.”

He pushed the door open slightly, just enough for them to see inside. Olivia had just cleaned again recently, so he was sure she would be okay with them taking a peek.

“Everything looks so organized.”

“This doubles as her office, so she prefers to keep it neat. I don’t know how she does it.” Jesse closed the door softly. He led Lukas slightly down the hall. “That’s the bathroom there, it’s nothing much. You already saw mine and Axel’s room, so that just leaves the living room. Here, you can set that stuff on the coffee table.”

Lukas nodded a little, setting the container and the garlic bread down. He looked around the room as Jesse grabbed two controllers. “What’s this?”

Jesse turned to see him kneeling in the corner of the room. He walked over, the familiar ache worming its way back into his heart. “That was Reuben’s favorite place to sleep.”

His favorite pillow was tucked away in the corner with two picture frames sitting on top of it. One was a picture of him hugging Reuben when both of them were little, and the other was a picture of him and Reuben with Axel and Olivia. 

He appreciated that Lukas wasn’t touching the pictures. They sat in silence for a few more seconds before Jesse handed him a controller. “C’mon. Let’s play some Mario Kart. You mentioned it yesterday.”

He stood up, offering his hand. Lukas took it, and Jesse pulled him up. His hands were cold and he was surprisingly light for being so tall.

They sat down as Jesse finished setting the game up. It had been a little while since the last time he’d played. He knew he was at least better than Axel. 

It only took a little while for them to really get going, laughing and commenting on the absurdities in each course. It was nice to see Lukas laughing and smiling so much. 

“Nooo!” Jesse bounced a little in his seat, setting the controller on his lap and burying his face in his hands. “I was right at the finish line and Toad passed me at the last second!”

Lukas glanced over at him, hiding a smile behind his hand. He’d finished the race just before Jesse. “It’s always the last few seconds that get you.”

“It’s always Toad, too! How is he even driving? He’s too short to reach the pedals!”

Jesse’s heart did a little flip as Lukas snorted. “Maybe he has a special kart? I mean, if the babies can drive then I guess the mushroom can, too.”

“I guess you have a point. It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing in these games.” He laughed a bit. “They drive on rainbows, after all.”

Lukas hummed softly, his expression growing distant. “Yeah. Hey, Jesse?”

“Yeah?” Jesse looked over at him. Lukas kept his eyes on the controller. His hands shook a little and he tightened his grip slightly.

“This is nice,” he said, his voice suddenly quiet. “It’s peaceful, and I’ve been having fun. I like hanging out with you.”

“I like hanging out with you, too.” He reached out and rested a hand on Lukas’. “Is everything okay?”

Lukas turned to look at him, something unreadable in his eyes. He smiled slightly and took Jesse’s hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Yeah. Everything’s okay.”

Jesse felt that weird flutter again. What was it about Lukas that always made him feel like that? 

He squeezed his hand in return. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Jesse, I…” He trailed off, chewing on his lip slightly. Jesse rubbed his thumb along the side of his hand, wondering what brought about his sudden change in demeanor. 

He waited a few seconds, but Lukas didn’t continue. Jesse gave his hand another small squeeze. He’d never realized how bony his fingers were. 

“Your hands are really warm,” Lukas finally said, breaking the silence. Jesse could tell it wasn’t what he had wanted to say, but he only gave Jesse’s hand one final squeeze before pulling away. “Thanks for tonight. I needed this.”

“Hey, any time. You’re always welcome here.”

He was relieved to see a small smile back on Lukas’ face. “I appreciate that.” He stood up to stretch, reaching for the container and the package of garlic bread. “It’s getting late. I should probably start heading home.”

Jesse stood up as well. He didn’t want the night to be over, but he didn’t want to keep Lukas too long. He knew he had to walk home and he didn’t want it to be too dark. He led him to the door, holding the food as Lukas pulled his shoes on. “Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for having me. I’ll see you tomorrow?” He took the container back, resting a hand on the doorknob.

“You know it! See you, Lukas.”

“Bye, Jesse.” He gave him one last smile before he was gone, the door clicking softly as it closed behind him.

Jesse couldn’t stop the smile on his face even if he wanted to. He went back to the living room, turning the game off and putting the controllers back before making his way to the kitchen. He put the leftovers in the fridge. He’d have to do the dishes, but that was a problem for Future Jesse. 

He looked at the flowers on the table again. He couldn’t wait for Axel and Olivia to get back from whatever they’d been doing. He had a lot to tell them.

Chapter Text

It had been a little over a week since Lukas had been to Jesse’s apartment. A little over a week since he’d completely blown his chance to tell him how he felt. 

He’d been so close. Jesse’s warm hand in his, on a couch far more comfortable than the one he slept on, the music of the Mario Kart stage selection screen playing in the background…well, his romantic fantasies hadn’t usually included that, but still. The moment had been perfect, and he’d missed it.

‘Your hands are really warm.’ Seriously? That’s what he’d said? He wanted to kick himself. 

Why was this so hard?

Nicely manicured nails snapped in front of his face. “Focus, Blondie! We’re trying to make magic here!”

Oh, right. The filming.

When he’d arrived at work that morning, Stella and Binta had been sitting in the break room, which was already unusual. Once everyone had arrived, Binta explained that they’d be closed for the day to film their commercial. They’d been trying for hours to get everything prepared to Stella’s impossible standards and were only just starting the actual filming.

“Sorry, Stella. What do you need me to do?”

“Well, stop looking so miserable, for one thing. We want people to know this is a cheerful environment.” She glanced at Binta. “What do you think, sweetie? Where should we put him?”

Lukas was extremely grateful for Binta, since she’d been able to talk Stella out of some of her more ridiculous ideas. She had some interesting thoughts about what a commercial should be, that was certain. 

Binta tapped her pen against her chin, consulting her clipboard. “Maybe by Nell? They’re the ones at the counter most of the time, so it makes sense for them to be together.” 

“Perfect! Putting Blondie by Brownie!” she said, as if anyone watching the commercial would know that Stella had baked good nicknames for each of the employees. Lukas was convinced it was because she couldn’t remember their real names. 

He stood behind the counter with Nell, trying to stop his mind from wandering again. The faster this filming was over, the faster he could go home. His arm ached, an old injury making its presence known again, and it had been snowing all day. He wanted to be home before either one got any worse. 

“Okay, let’s try this again.” Binta adjusted the camera a little. “Radar, you’re out of frame. Take a step closer, please? There we are. Alright, here we go!”

Lukas forced a sugar-sweet smile that was usually only reserved for particularly difficult customers. He waved at the camera when Stella pointed at him. He had no idea where she was going with her idea for this commercial, and all he’d gathered from her explanation was that Binta had convinced her not to bring her pet llama. 

Several attempts later, Stella finally decided she was satisfied with the result and clapped her hands. “Wonderful, wonderful! It’s still not perfect, but that’s where the editing magic comes in.”

“Sweet. I can go now, right? My shift at the tattoo place starts soon,” Nell said, already starting to untie her apron.

“Just a moment. We have news.”

“Good or bad?” Radar asked. His eyes kept flicking toward the window and Lukas could tell he was just as eager to leave. 

“It’s better than good news, Cheesecake!” She pulled a business card out of her jacket pocket and held it up. “I was recently on the phone with one Mr. Romeo, who said he was interested to taste some of our ‘llamazing baked goods!’ His words, not mine, though I wouldn’t have phrased it any other way.”

Radar’s eyes went wide. “Romeo? Like…the critic famous for his incredibly scathing reviews of food he doesn’t like?” 

“The very same! He wanted to try that new restaurant they’re building a few blocks away, but it won’t be finished by the time he’s in the area. I convinced him to come here instead.”

Jesse had just been talking about the progress of the restaurant the day before. Lukas wished he’d been able to see him—he’d had to text him that he wouldn’t be able to visit on his break due to the filming. He almost sighed before remembering he was supposed to be listening to Stella. 

“—and one wrong move could be the end of the bakery, but there’s no need to worry. He was friends with Binta’s uncle, so I’m certain we’ll be fine,” she was saying. 

“Well…I don’t think that would matter to him, sweetie. Besides, he and my uncle Fred had a huge fight before he died,” Binta said, packing the camera away. “I don’t know the details, but they didn’t speak at all after that.”

“I’m sure we’ll still be fine. Blondie and Brownie are good enough at baking to keep us afloat. Right, you two?”

Lukas laughed, hoping it didn’t sound as strangled as it felt. “I sure hope so.” Otherwise it was all over. He couldn’t afford to lose his job.

“We got this,” Nell said, patting his shoulder as she passed. “Between your cookies and my cupcakes, that guy will think we're, like, totally rad.”

“Exactly. There’s no need to worry. Now, if you’ll excuse us, Lluna is probably getting lonely. Toodles!” She tossed her hair over her shoulder and breezed out, not caring that she’d dropped possibly the most worrying news ever. 

Binta gave them an apologetic smile. “I’m sure you’ll be alright. We’ve been doing well lately, so just keep up the good work. I’ll see you guys next time.” She waved a little before following Stella. The jingling of the bell above the door was loud in the resulting silence. 

“So is anyone else totally freaking out?” Radar asked as he followed Lukas to the break room, voice high-pitched and strained. 

“Yeah, it’s not just you.” Lukas fumbled with his apron strings, his hands shaking a little. He still hadn’t adjusted the strings, now that he was thinking about it. 

“We’ll be okay, dudes,” Nell said, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “We got this.”

Lukas didn’t understand how she was so calm about this, but then again, it was Nell. She was chill about everything. 

Radar nodded a little, grabbing the mop.  “If you’re sure…I’m still worried, though.” 

“You’re always worried, little dude. Don’t stay too late cleaning, yeah? See you.” She disappeared before either of them could answer. 

“Well…I’m gonna head out, too,” Lukas said, pulling his jacket on and grabbing his bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Radar.”

“Bye, Lukas. Be careful on your way home.”

“I will, thanks.” 

He walked back out to the front and sighed. The snow had only gotten heavier. Of course. He stepped outside, immediately shivering as a gust of wind blew right through his jacket. 

There was no way he was walking all the way home in this. As much as he disliked the idea, he would have to go home with Aiden. He took his car to work every day and the convenience store was closer to the bakery than their apartment was. 

He shoved his hands in his pockets, trudging through the growing piles of snow. By the time he made it to the convenience store, the blast of warm air as the glass doors slid open was probably the best feeling in the world. 

Unfortunately, it was accompanied by a familiar voice yelling.

“I already told you, that coupon only works for one item, not the whole purchase!” Aiden jabbed a finger at the brightly colored slip of paper. “Now do you want to sign up for the rewards program or not?”

The man he was arguing with scoffed. “No one wants that stupid deal!”

“No one wants your stupid face!”

Lukas sighed to himself and walked right back out, wanting no part of whatever was going on. So much for waiting where it was warm. 

He didn’t understand why either one of them was getting so worked up over the man’s purchase of a few bags of chips and a drink, but judging from the amount of times Aiden complained about his job, stuff like this was common. Lukas was both surprised and incredibly grateful that Aiden hadn’t been fired for yelling at a customer yet. 

He walked toward Aiden’s car and tried the door. Locked, of course. He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against it. Aiden’s shift was supposed to be over soon, so hopefully he wouldn’t have to wait too long. 

He could see into the store from where he was standing. Aiden kept arguing with the guy until finally, some sort of begrudging compromise was made and he paid for his stuff. 

A few minutes later, Aiden was storming out and grumbling to himself. He stopped when he saw Lukas. “What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t want to walk home in the snow.” He was starting to wonder if that would have been faster, but he decided not to say that. 

“Fine, whatever. Dust yourself off before you get in.” He unlocked the car and got in, tossing his bag into the backseat before grabbing Lukas’ and doing the same. Lukas dusted off as much snow as he could before climbing into the passenger seat. 

Aiden turned the radio on, some rock station that sounded more like static than music and only played two songs before starting one of those long ad breaks. Lukas tapped his fingers against his leg, resisting the urge to reach over and turn it off. Aiden didn’t let anyone else touch the controls and he didn’t feel like being yelled at.

Between the snow and the traffic, the drive home seemed to take so much longer than it should have. Lukas really wished he’d just decided to walk—it would have been a lot quieter, that’s for sure. Plus, Aiden’s car had kind of a weird smell. 

Once they finally made it back, Aiden announced that he was going to take a shower and disappeared into the bathroom. Lukas dropped onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Dewey hopped up next to him, rubbing against his side. 

“Hey, Dewey,” he said, reaching out to scratch under his chin. The cat licked his hand before jumping back down, walking toward the kitchen and meowing. Lukas laughed a bit. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

He pulled his jacket off, draping it on the back of one of the kitchen chairs. He served Dewey’s dinner and the cat rubbed against his legs before beginning to eat. 

“I probably should, too, huh?” he muttered, giving Dewey one last pet on his head before standing. He’d been too stressed during the filming to eat when they had their lunch break. He still wasn’t very hungry, but he’d promised Petra during their phone call the night before that he’d make an effort to have something.

He glanced at the container on the counter. He hadn’t tried any of Jesse’s cookies yet, now that he was thinking about it. It had just kept slipping his mind. He took it to the table and opened it. 

The cookies were kind of lumpy and they looked burnt. Lukas hesitantly picked one up. It was rock-solid and left black crumbs on his fingers. He would try it because Jesse made it. 

He took a bite and immediately spat it into a napkin, his heart sinking. It tasted just as bad as it looked, somehow managing to be burnt and undercooked at the same time, with an awful grainy texture like sand. 

Well, Jesse had warned him about being bad at baking. As kind as the gesture was, Lukas couldn’t help but wonder how he’d managed to mess cookies up this badly.

He sighed, closing the container and pushing it aside. So much for having a cookie. He rested his elbows on the table, burying his face in his hands. His arm still ached, but he didn’t move it from its position. He was so tired. 

Lukas sat in silence for a few more moments before Aiden walked in. “I’m getting pizza. What do you want on it?”

“I don’t want any, but thanks.” He ran his hands down his face and rested his chin in them, staring at a ketchup stain on the tablecloth. 

“Whatever, suit yourself. More for me.”

Lukas stayed staring at the stain as Aiden called the pizza place. If he focused on that, then he wouldn’t see the sink full of dishes or the clutter scattered everywhere else. As it was, there were barely any open spaces on the table, just barely enough for a plate on either side.

Jesse’s apartment had been so clean. Lukas was tired of living in a cluttered mess, but cleaning was so exhausting. He couldn’t do it all himself and Aiden certainly never helped. In fact, he was actively making it worse. 

“I can’t stand that stupid place,” Aiden grumbled, hanging up. “They’re lucky their pizza is good.”

Lukas hummed a little, tracing around the stain with his finger. He pulled the container of cookies closer again and traced along the top of the lid. Aiden kept complaining, as though it was the only thing he knew how to talk about. It sure felt like it sometimes.

“—and there was this idiot today that refused to listen when I told him his coupon wouldn’t work for the whole order. It was right on the damn paper!”

“Is that who you were yelling at when I got there?” Lukas asked without thinking. He immediately regretted it—the first rule of when Aiden started complaining was to never make it an actual conversation, otherwise it went on even longer.

“You heard all that? Wasn’t he stupid?” 

“I saw it more than heard it,” he said. “You can’t just yell at the customers.”

“I can when they’re being stupid.” Aiden pulled a can of soda out of the fridge and opened it, the loud pop of the tab grating on Lukas’ exhausted senses. He moved his hand to rest on the arm still holding his head up, digging his nails into his bicep slightly.

“You’re gonna get fired for that some day.”

“Good. I hate it there.”

“You need that job, remember? So we can afford to keep living here?” He was too tired to soften the sharp edge that crept into his tone. It had been such a long day and all he really wanted to do was curl up on the couch and go to sleep. 

“Yeah, yeah. Why do you think I’m still working in that stupid place at all? You don’t have to keep nagging.” He leaned against the counter, taking a sip of his soda. “You sound like my mom telling me to clean or something.”

“You don’t do that, either,” Lukas muttered. 

“So? You do the cooking and cleaning and stuff.” He shrugged. “That’s how it’s always worked.”

“Yeah, and maybe I don’t want to be doing all that stuff myself. Maybe you should do something to help instead of just sitting around playing video games all the time,” he said before he could stop himself. His patience was crumbling and his hands were starting to shake. His arm ached even more from how hard his nails were digging into it.

“I don't make you do this stuff,” Aiden scoffed. He finished his soda, crushing the can against the counter. The crunch of the metal snapped the last fraying thread of Lukas’ patience. 

“No, but you complain when it isn’t done! You complain when you can’t find clean dishes, you complain when dinner isn’t what you want, and you complain about not having clean laundry even though you leave your dirty laundry all over the place, and you don’t do anything to fix those problems!” He pointed to the sink, his hand trembling with frustration. “I’ve been too tired this week to do the dishes and look how much they’ve piled up!”

He couldn’t stop his voice from rising. He hated yelling, he hated getting angry, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He’d been on counter duty this week, which was stressful enough, and then the disaster that was filming earlier in the day, and now his head hurt and his arm hurt and he just wanted to go to sleep. 

“I go to work. I’m contributing to the household.” 

“You go to work and that’s it! All you do when you’re home is play video games and complain about work! You don’t do anything else to help!”

Aiden stopped leaning on the counter.  “I pay half the rent.” 

Lukas stood up, his white-knuckle grip moving from his arm to the back of the chair. “So what, paying half the rent means you don’t have to help around the house at all? It means you can just leave everything for me to do while you complain about how hard your job is?”

“You just get to bake your little pastries,” Aiden said, taking a step forward. His hands were balling into fists. “How is that hard? I have to deal with idiots at work every day.”

“Yeah, well, I live with one!”

Lukas’ eyes went wide as the soda can whizzed past his head. His breath caught in his chest and he froze entirely. The clatter of the can as it hit the wall was almost deafening in the sudden silence. 

Aiden was right in front of him now. Despite being a few inches shorter, he seemed to tower over Lukas, his expression stormy. Lukas couldn’t focus on what he was saying—his words sounded like static buzzing in Lukas’ head, one thought echoing louder than anything else. 

He’s gonna punch me.

Finally, something broke through the haze of fear. “—get out!”

Lukas took a step back, his legs like jelly. He took another, and suddenly he was running out the door and down the stairs, not stopping until he was on the street below. His vision blurred into a watery blob. 

Oh, he was so stupid! Why had he said anything? Why hadn’t he just kept his mouth shut like always?!

He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to conserve as much warmth as he could. It was still snowing, thick flakes tumbling down and piling high. He couldn’t stay here. He needed to find somewhere. 

Lukas blinked back his tears and started walking. 

Chapter Text

Jesse couldn’t sleep.

Olivia had gone to bed a few hours ago, saying she had a huge project to work on that she needed an early start for. Axel had fallen asleep on the couch not long after, only moving to his room after he’d nearly rolled off. 

Jesse wasn’t sure why he was still awake. He knew he would probably regret it in the morning, but for now he just enjoyed the quiet of the apartment, broken only by Axel’s snoring in the other room. He had closed the door, but the sound still carried. At least he didn’t have work tomorrow.

He sat near the window, watching the snow drift down in big flakes. The ground was already covered in a thick, heavy layer that would be a pain to shovel in the morning. In the dark of the night, though, with only the faint glow of the streetlamp, it was beautiful. 

He was lost in thought when he heard a sudden knock at the door, so quiet he almost missed it. 

That’s weird, he thought, getting to his feet. He wondered who would be visiting so late, let alone in such heavy snow. 

Common sense told him not to answer; knocks on doors in the middle of the night during snowstorms weren’t exactly normal. But on the other hand, maybe he should check it out just in case. Wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, he walked to the door and opened it.

“...Lukas?”

He stood shivering in the doorway, dressed in nothing but his striped t-shirt and jeans. A dusting of snow clung to his hair like powdered sugar. His face was red, though it was hard to tell if it was from the cold or from the tears rolling down his cheeks. 

His voice trembled as he spoke. “I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t know where else to go…”

Jesse snapped out of his surprise, taking the blanket from his own shoulders and draping it around Lukas. He gently took his arm and led him inside. His skin was freezing to the touch. How long had he been out in the snow?

“You don’t have to apologize,” Jesse said softly as he sat Lukas on the sofa. “You’re always welcome here.”

He nodded, burying his face in his hands and folding into himself. He was shaking so hard that the blanket was sliding off of his shoulders. 

Jesse felt his heart twist at seeing Lukas so distraught. He sat next to him and carefully adjusted the blanket before resting a hand on his back.

“It’s okay,” he said, rubbing his thumb back and forth. “It’s all going to be okay. I’m here for you.”

Lukas lowered his hands, turning his tear-streaked face slightly as Jesse offered a small, gentle smile. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffling. 

“Sorry,” he said again, voice cracked and broken like a plate hitting pavement. He curled into himself a little more, clutching the blanket around his shoulders. 

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Jesse reassured him. “Tell you what, why don’t you take a warm shower? You can borrow some of my clothes—they probably won’t fit well, but they’re at least dry. Then I’ll make us some hot cocoa and we can talk, okay?”

Lukas nodded a little, not meeting Jesse’s eyes. Jesse patted his back gently before standing up and offering a hand. He took it carefully and Jesse helped him up, leading him to the bathroom.

“There are extra towels and soap in the cabinet here,” Jesse said, pointing. “You can just set your wet clothes in a pile by the door and we’ll wash and dry them later.”

Lukas nodded again, his expression a little distant. There were still tears shining in his eyes, though they didn’t fall. 

“I’ll be right back with the pajamas, and then I’ll be in the living room when you’re ready.” Jesse squeezed his hand lightly and walked out, carefully closing the door behind him. 

He went to his room to grab his softest pajamas. They’d definitely be big on Lukas, but it was better than his wet clothes. Hopefully the warm shower would help to stop his shivering as well. Jesse had heard his teeth chattering with the force of his trembling. 

He glanced at Axel’s snoring figure before going over and shaking his shoulder. 

“Axel. Hey. Wake up,” he whispered. 

Axel shifted slightly. “Mmmhhf?”

Jesse nudged his shoulder again. “C’mon, I have to talk to you and Olivia.”

“Wh’happened?” He sat up a bit, yawning.  

“It’s better if I tell you both at once.” 

Axel dragged himself out of bed and Jesse led him to Olivia’s room, gently shaking her as well. 

“Jesse…? What’s going on?” She pushed herself up on one elbow, looking between him and Axel worriedly. “Is everything okay?”

Jesse shook his head. “Lukas just showed up at the door. Something must have happened—he was really upset. He’s in the shower now, but…I have a feeling he might need a place to stay.”

“Are you sure we can fit another person in here?” Axel asked. “It’s already a lot with the three of us.”

“I don’t know, but I can’t just turn him away. I don’t know what happened, but it had to have been really bad.”

Olivia rubbed her eyes. “Well…we’re not just gonna send him back out in the snow. We can figure everything out in the morning. Hopefully by then you’ll know what happened.”

“Hopefully. I just wanted to let you guys know so you didn’t freak out tomorrow morning.” Jesse glanced toward the door. “I should go back. Good night, you two.”

“Good night, Jesse,” Olivia said, lying back down and pulling the covers over herself. Axel mumbled something that was probably also “good night” as he went back to his and Jesse’s room. 

Jesse knocked on the bathroom door. “I’m setting these right outside,” he called, laying the pajamas on the floor. 

There was no reply from inside, though Jesse was almost sure he heard a quiet sob mixed with the sound of the water. His heart twisted again, wishing he could just take whatever was hurting Lukas away. He hated to see him so upset. 

Jesse sighed before heading to the kitchen and grabbing a mug. Hot cocoa certainly wouldn’t fix everything, but hopefully it would provide a small bit of comfort to his distressed friend. 

Once the cocoa itself was done, he carefully added the whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles, the way Lukas had said he liked it. He carried the mug to the living room and set it on the coffee table before sitting down to wait.

It wasn’t long before Lukas came out and sat next to him, pulling his knees to his chest. His eyes were red and puffy, but it didn’t look like he was actively crying anymore. 

“I made hot cocoa,” Jesse said softly, handing Lukas the mug. He took it with shaking hands. 

“You…you put sprinkles.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “You remembered.”

Jesse nodded. “I always remember what my friends like.”

Lukas looked almost ready to cry all over again. He held the mug tightly, staring into it. He wasn’t very large to begin with, but sitting curled up on the sofa in Jesse’s too-big pajamas, he looked so…small. Jesse could see the sharp lines of his collarbone where the shirt slid down his shoulder a little and the pants were still loose despite being cinched all the way. 

“Thank you,” Lukas managed after a stretch of silence. The tremble in his voice was barely hidden. He took a small sip of his cocoa.

“Of course,” Jesse said. 

Lukas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He leaned forward, setting the mug back on the table before sitting back. His damp bangs obscured his eyes. “I’m…I’m sorry. For showing up unannounced so late like this. I know it’s inconvenient…”

“Lukas…you don’t have to apologize. Something clearly happened, I’m not gonna turn you away. And like I said, you’re always welcome here.”

“Thanks, Jesse. I really…I really appreciate that.” He kept his gaze glued to his lap, fingers twisting the extra fabric of the shirt. “I guess I owe you an explanation.”

“You only have to tell me if you’re ready,” Jesse assured. He wanted to know, of course, but he didn’t want to make Lukas feel worse.

Lukas shook his head. “No, I…I should.” He took a shuddering breath, running a hand down his face. “Aiden was complaining again, and so I spoke my mind this time, and then I got frustrated and I was yelling, and then he was yelling, and I-I thought he was gonna punch me, and I missed most of what he said after that but…he told me to get out. I don’t know if he meant forever or just for tonight, b-but I just needed to get out of there and I was walking before I knew what was going on. I-I didn’t…I didn’t know where I was going until I was at your door.”

He was shaking again. His hands gripped the fabric of the shirt so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. Jesse leaned forward slightly, resting a hand on his knee.

“I’m so sorry,” he said softly. Lukas somehow looked even smaller like this and it broke his heart. 

“It’s my own fault.” His voice wavered. “If I’d just kept my mouth shut and taken it like always…”

“No,” Jesse cut in, firm but still gentle. “Lukas, it wasn’t your fault for speaking your mind. You put up with so much and you don’t deserve that.”

Jesse still couldn’t see Lukas’ eyes behind his bangs, but the soft sniffle was very telling. 

“It’s so stupid,” he whispered. “I should have just…I’m sorry.”

Jesse shook his head. “Don’t apologize, Lukas. You shouldn’t have to stay there if he treats you like that.”

“Where else am I supposed to go?” His voice broke on the words. “I can’t move back in with my mom…Petra’s dads would take me, but I don’t want to burden them…” He trailed off, looking lost and hopeless. 

“You can stay here.” Jesse carefully took Lukas’ cold hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I already made sure it was okay with Axel and Olivia.”

Lukas turned his head, teary eyes wide in surprise. “I-I can’t ask you to—”

“You didn’t ask. I’m offering.” Jesse offered a small smile. “It’s no problem at all. I want to help.”

There was a brief pause before Lukas lunged forward, arms wrapping around Jesse. He jolted at the sudden impact before returning the hug, holding Lukas tightly. His hand came up to run through soft, still-damp hair as Lukas buried his face in his shoulder, dissolving into sobs. Jesse kept his arms around him as if that would protect him from all the world’s troubles. He only wished he could.

“It’s going to be okay,” Jesse said, swaying back and forth slightly. “We’ll figure it out. And I’ll be right here for you the whole time.”

Lukas clung to him, fingers clutching the back of his shirt. Jesse moved the hand that wasn’t in Lukas’ hair to rub his back. He could feel each notch in his spine through the fabric, each tremble as he shuddered out another sob. Jesse never wanted to let him go.

Eventually, Lukas pulled away, sniffling. “Sorry, I didn’t—”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Jesse cut in before he could finish. He hesitated before reaching up to cup Lukas’ cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb. Lukas’ breath hitched and Jesse worried he’d gone too far until Lukas closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. 

Jesse continued to swipe his thumb back and forth, his heart aching for Lukas. He didn’t deserve this.

Lukas broke the silence after a few moments. “Thank you. For…for everything.” He pulled away from Jesse with a small, sad smile. “I appreciate it.”

“Hey, any time. I mean that.”

He nodded a little, wiping stray tears with the back of his hand. He pulled the blanket back around his shoulders before leaning forward to grab his mug of cocoa. 

They fell into a peaceful silence as he finished his drink. Jesse couldn’t help but glance over at him every so often. He wondered how much of Lukas’ cheerful demeanor was an act. Jesse had seen the cracks in the foundation before; he thought about their visit to the park or the time Lukas had called him while he was making cupcakes. Even when he had come over for dinner, he had been a lot more withdrawn. 

He seemed softer like this. In the bakery, he was as sweet and bright as the pastries he made, but here, sitting on Jesse’s couch with his hair all messy and his face still a little red, he looked…human. 

Jesse was pulled from his thoughts by a soft weight settling against him. He glanced down to see Lukas’ head resting on his shoulder, fluffy blond hair brushing against his cheek. 

“Is this okay?” His voice was barely above a whisper and still a little cracked from his earlier breakdown. 

“Yeah,” Jesse murmured, tilting his head slightly to rest his cheek in Lukas’ hair. “This is okay.”

It only took a few moments after that for Lukas’ breathing to even out entirely as he drifted off, and Jesse was quick to join him.

They could figure everything out in the morning. For now, all that existed was warmth and the quiet bliss of sleep.

Chapter Text

Lukas awoke to the smell of pancakes. 

It took him a few seconds to remember where he was. It all came back in a rush—yelling at Aiden, the fear and panic, walking through the snow until he wound up at Jesse’s apartment looking like the world’s most pathetic powdered doughnut. He hadn’t even really realized where he was going until he was at the door of the apartment building.  

He sat up, rubbing his eyes a little. He looked down at the blanket covering him, his cheeks warming as he remembered that he’d fallen asleep on Jesse. Well, first he’d cried all over him, and then he’d fallen asleep. Cool, cool. That was embarrassing. 

Before he could think about it too much, he heard Jesse’s voice in the other room. “No, he’s—I think he’s still asleep. I wasn’t gonna wake him yet, he looked really tired. Yeah, it was…it was a lot. He’ll be okay.”

Judging from the lack of a second voice, he was probably on the phone. Not wanting to eavesdrop, Lukas folded the blanket and went to the bathroom. There was a toothbrush resting on a little sticky note that said ‘for you! :)’ in messy letters. He smiled slightly, grateful for Jesse’s thoughtfulness, and folded the note neatly before sticking it into his pants pocket.

As he was brushing his teeth, he caught sight of his own disheveled reflection. Jesse’s shirt hung off of him loosely, the collar sliding down his shoulder no matter how much he tried to fix it. His hair was a disaster. His eyes looked dull and tired. 

Lukas finished brushing his teeth and turned away from the mirror. 

The smell of pancakes was stronger now. He walked into the kitchen to see Jesse at the stove, humming cheerfully as he worked. He looked up as he heard Lukas walk in. 

“Good morning! Did you sleep well?”

He nodded. “Good morning. Thanks for the toothbrush.”

Jesse smiled, flipping the pancake. “Of course. You can sit down, breakfast is almost ready.”

Lukas automatically opened his mouth to say he wasn’t hungry, but his stomach grumbled softly and he remembered he hadn’t eaten anything the day before. Besides, Jesse was going through the trouble of making him some, and the pancakes did smell really good…

“Do you need any help?” he asked instead, watching Jesse grab a plate. He felt bad just sitting and waiting for the food, especially since Jesse had done so much for him last night. He was still doing so much for him–he couldn’t remember the last time someone had made him breakfast. 

“I’m good, don’t worry! But thanks for the offer.” Jesse put the pancake onto a plate and set it on the table. “Here, sit down. How do you like your pancakes?”

He sat down. He still felt a bit bad not helping, but it was also kind of nice not having to do anything. “Uh…just whipped cream, please.”

“You got it! I wasn’t sure how many you wanted, but there’s more batter if you want another one. Olivia and I already had ours, so I’m just waiting for Axel now.” Jesse handed him the container of whipped cream before turning back to the stove and pouring more batter into the pan. The smell was strong, but it wasn’t overpowering.

Lukas hummed slightly, pouring the whipped cream on top. He took a bite, his eyes going wide. It was incredibly warm, with a crisp edge and a fluffy center. The whipped cream perfectly complemented the chocolate chips inside, which were gooey and smooth. 

“This is really good,” he said, cutting another piece. Now that he was actually eating, he realized just how hungry he’d been. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Jesse said, turning to look at Lukas. He smiled, leaning against the counter. Lukas kept his eyes on the table, trying not to think about how cute Jesse’s smile was or how warm he had been when he held him last night. 

Last night. The guilty pit returned to his stomach as he swallowed his bite of pancake. “Jesse, I…I’m sorry about all of this.”

Jesse shook his head, his voice unbelievably gentle when he spoke. “I already told you, there’s no need to apologize. I talked it over with Olivia earlier and I’m sure Axel will say the same thing, but you’re welcome to stay here. You shouldn’t have to go back there.”

Lukas could hardly believe it. He could stay? They wouldn’t mind? He pushed a piece of the pancake around with his fork before putting it in his mouth, just to buy a little more time to think of what to say. 

“Axel could probably drive us to your apartment later to grab some of your things if you need to,” Jesse continued. 

“You don’t have to drive me, really. I can just walk, it’s alright.” They were already doing so much for him. He didn’t want to inconvenience them any more.

“And then have to carry all that stuff? It’s no problem. I’m sure Axel wouldn’t mind.”

Before Lukas could protest further, there was a voice from the doorway. “Mind what?”

He glanced over as Axel walked in. He’d only seen him once before and their interaction had been pretty positive, but he was still a little intimidating. He dropped onto one of the other chairs. 

“Morning, Axel! Great timing. We were gonna ask if you could drive us to Lukas’ apartment later to get some of his stuff since he’ll be staying here,” Jesse said, putting two pancakes on a plate and setting it in front of Axel.

“He is staying?” Axel asked, pouring syrup all over his pancakes. Lukas was almost certain he heard disappointment in his voice. He turned his attention back to his half-eaten breakfast, though he wasn’t very hungry anymore. 

“Yeah, Olivia and I talked about it earlier. We figured you wouldn’t mind.”

Axel shrugged, mumbling, “I guess, yeah,” through a mouthful of pancake. It wasn’t exactly reassuring, but it wasn’t a flat out refusal, either. 

“We can go once you guys finish breakfast, if that works,” Jesse said, starting on the dishes. 

Lukas glanced at the oven clock and nodded, accepting that resistance was pointless. Aiden would be at work by the time they got there, thank goodness. 

He hoped Dewey was alright. He felt awful about leaving him there, but he hadn’t had time to grab him in his panic. He didn’t think Aiden would do anything to him, though the fear still lingered. If he’d just kept his mouth shut…

His food started to taste more like clay as his thoughts kept spiraling. He forced himself to eat the last few bites, standing on legs he hoped were steadier than he felt to set the dishes in the sink. “Thank you for breakfast.”

“Of course,” Jesse said with a smile. Lukas hesitantly returned it, his mind wandering to how nice it had felt when Jesse held him, how gentle his hands had been as they carded through his hair. He turned away, hoping the heat rising in his cheeks wasn’t too obvious. Oh, boy, living here was going to be difficult if he kept thinking like that. 

He still couldn’t really believe this was happening. It all felt like some twisted dream—he kept expecting to wake up on that uncomfortable couch in the darkness, rubbing his eyes and taking a few breaths before going outside to call Petra like he had done so many times before. 

He’d always been afraid of losing his apartment. He’d just thought it would be because they wouldn’t be able to make rent, not…this. And he certainly hadn’t expected Jesse to let him stay.

The sound of a plate in the sink snapped him out of his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed Axel get up.

“I’ll go start the car,” he said. Lukas could only nod a little as Jesse gave a soapy thumbs-up. 

“Thanks, Axel. We’ll be down soon.”

Axel gave his own thumbs-up in return before walking out and Jesse went back to washing the last few dishes. Lukas ran a hand through his hair awkwardly, unsure of what he was supposed to be doing. “Do you, uh…do you want any help?”

“I’m good, don’t worry. Thanks, though.” Jesse set the last dish in the drying rack and turned the water off. He dried his hands off before resting one on Lukas’ shoulder. “How are you doing? I haven’t asked yet.”

Lukas blinked in surprise, his mind taking a few seconds to catch up. The question and the warmth of Jesse’s hand caught him a little off-guard. He wanted to know how Lukas was doing? “I, uh…I’m okay. Thank you again for all of this, really. You don’t have to be doing any of this.”

“I know, but you’re my friend. I’m not just gonna turn you away, especially at a time like this.” Jesse’s smile was warm, too. How was everything about him so warm? Lukas resisted every urge to just hug him close and melt into that warmth like butter into a biscuit.

“Thank you,” he repeated softly, offering a small smile of his own as he tried to ignore the sudden burning sensation in his eyes. “I really appreciate it.”

“Of course, Lukas. Come on, we should go before Axel starts getting impatient.” Jesse gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before letting go and leading him out to the car. 

He shivered a little as the chilly air hit his skin. As much as he appreciated Jesse letting him borrow his clothes, they were too big and loose for him and didn’t offer much warmth. Luckily, Axel had pulled up right outside. 

He rolled the window down as they approached. “There you are! I was wondering if you were ever gonna show up.” 

Jesse returned the grin with a good-natured eye roll. “C’mon, we didn’t take that long.”

“You took long enough.” He was grinning as he said it, so it was probably a joke. Hopefully. Lukas couldn’t really tell. “I’m gonna need directions, so I guess Lukas is getting shotgun.”

He sat in the front seat as Jesse grumbled playfully, closing the door and buckling his seatbelt. At least the car was warm and didn’t smell weird. He looked outside as they pulled away. 

Lukas was really only half-paying attention, his focus more on trying not to think about the last time he’d been in a car and everything that had happened since. He picked at a loose thread on his pants before remembering that they were actually Jesse’s pants and he would feel awful if he ruined them. He settled for folding his hands in his lap, his nails digging into his skin a little too hard as he gave Axel the directions. 

Eventually, they pulled up outside of his apartment building. He thanked Axel for driving them before getting out of the car and leading Jesse up to his apartment. He had been silently hoping that Aiden hadn’t moved the spare key, and considering it was exactly where it always was, he’d either forgotten to move it or forgotten they had one—both were equally likely. Lukas was just glad it was still there. 

He winced a little at the mess as he opened the door. Even though most of it wasn’t his fault, he was suddenly incredibly self-conscious about it. Living in it was one thing, but having company over always shed a new light on how bad it really was. 

“Home sweet home,” he muttered awkwardly, leading Jesse inside. He’d never been more glad to have kept all of his belongings in boxes—it would make this go a lot faster. 

As he was walking toward the couch, something ran at his feet, nearly tripping him.

“Dewey!” He knelt down, pulling the cat into his arms and holding him close. He kissed his little forehead. “Oh, thank goodness you’re okay! I was so worried…I’m sorry for leaving you behind, buddy.” 

Dewey purred in response, rubbing his head against Lukas’ chin. A little bit of the worry lifted from his shoulders. Dewey was safe. 

“So this is Dewey,” Jesse said, watching them. He moved a bit closer, kneeling down as well. He held his hand out slightly and Dewey sniffed it before going back to nuzzling his head against Lukas. “Hey, little guy. Lukas talks about you a lot.”

“Yep. I don’t know how well he’s gonna take moving.” Lukas suddenly realized he hadn’t even asked if Dewey would be allowed to stay. Oh, no, what if one of Jesse’s roommates was allergic to cats? “Is…is that okay?”

“I don’t think Axel or Olivia will mind. They both like animals. Besides, we can’t just throw him out on the street. He’s your friend.”

Lukas nodded a little, setting Dewey down. “I’m sorry, it completely slipped my mind to ask…”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Jesse gave him a reassuring smile. “You’ve been going through a lot, of course you weren’t thinking about it.”

Lukas didn’t understand how Jesse could be so endlessly patient and understanding. He returned the smile, dusting cat hair off of himself. He caught sight of his phone on the coffee table and leaned over to grab it, wincing at the missed calls from both his job and Petra lighting the screen. He could call Petra back later, but he should probably let Nell know why he hadn’t gone into work. 

“I have to make a call really quick,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh…make yourself comfortable? Sorry about the mess…”

“I could start moving stuff if you need me to,” Jesse offered. “That way there’s less to worry about.”

“That’s…” Lukas trailed off a little. He would feel terrible making Jesse move his things alone, but he made a good point. Plus, he didn’t want to keep Axel waiting for too long. “Thank you, Jesse. I really appreciate all of this.”

Jesse grabbed one of the boxes. “Hey, any time. I’m happy to help.” 

Lukas smiled slightly and went to the kitchen, clicking on Nell’s contact. He caught sight of his jacket on the chair right where he’d left it and pulled it on as the phone buzzed. The familiar article of clothing provided a bit of comfort and some much needed warmth.  

“Yo, dude. ‘Sup?”

“Hey, Nell. Sorry for the late notice, but, uh…I can’t make it in today. Something kind of big came up.” 

“I figured it was something like that. You’ve never missed work without a reason, brah. Everything okay?”

He ran a hand through his hair. He could hear the door open and the sound of Jesse humming in the other room. “It…it will be. I’ll be back at work on Monday. I’ll even take counter duty that day since you’re covering for me now.”

“Dude, don’t even worry about it,” she said. “Just, like, make sure you’re doing okay, yeah?”

Lukas nodded, sinking into a chair. It took him a few seconds to remember that Nell couldn’t see him. “I…yeah. Thanks, Nell.”

“No problem, man. I gotta go now, but see you Monday?”

“See you Monday.”

He stared at the phone for a moment once she’d ended the call. He was grateful Nell was always so chill about everything and hadn’t asked questions. He was sure he’d have to explain on Monday, but that gave him the weekend to collect himself a little more. His peace still felt a bit shaky and he didn’t want it to crumble beneath his feet again. 

He took one last deep breath and ran a hand through his hair again before getting back to his feet. He’d feel awful if Jesse moved all of his things alone. Tucking his phone in his jacket pocket, he made his way back to the living room. 

It was empty aside from Dewey curled up on the couch, so Jesse was probably outside again. Lukas gave the cat another little kiss on the forehead and grabbed a box.

There were only a few left—it seemed like Jesse had already done most of it anyway. Lukas was equal parts guilty and impressed. His phone call hadn’t been that long, and yet Jesse had accomplished that much?

The door opened again, the sound of cheerful humming returning. He watched as Jesse effortlessly lifted another box. Oh, yeah. He was a construction worker. This was probably nothing to him. Lukas’ mind wandered, wondering how easily Jesse would be able to lift him. His cheeks warmed a little and he shook his head. 

Focus.

He held the door open with his foot, allowing Jesse to take the lead. The weight of the box made his arm ache again, but he didn’t dare say anything. He knew Jesse would offer to do the rest of the work alone and he’d already done more than enough to help. Lukas couldn’t rely on him for everything.

They didn’t talk much as they carried the last few boxes out. Lukas was perfectly content to listen to Jesse’s upbeat humming. It kept him from thinking too much. 

Finally, all that was left was getting Dewey into his carrier. 

“Hey, buddy,” he said, kneeling in front of Dewey as Jesse set the carrier on the ground and opened the door. “I know you hate it in there, but we have to go. It’s better than staying here.” Anything would be, he didn’t say. 

Dewey meowed loudly as Lukas tried to pick him up. He dug his claws into the sofa, doing his best to resist. Lukas huffed a bit, using one arm to keep Dewey in place while he tried to detach him from the fabric. 

“Do you need any help?” Jesse asked, laying a blanket in the carrier. 

Lukas shook his head. “I got it. I have to do this every time he has a vet appointment. It’s not like Aiden ever helped,” he muttered, a touch bitterly. He managed to get Dewey unstuck from the sofa, holding him close before gently easing him into the carrier. Jesse closed the door and carefully lifted it. 

“Aw, don’t be so mad, little guy,” he said. “It’ll be okay.”

“You don’t have to carry him,” Lukas started, sticking his finger through the gaps in the side so he could pet Dewey’s chin. He stood up, looking at Jesse. “You’ve already done so much. I can carry him.”

Jesse shook his head a little. “It’s no trouble. If you’ve done it alone so often, let me help this time.”

Lukas rubbed his arm slightly. Carrying Dewey would make the ache worse, but Jesse had already carried most of the boxes down. “Are you sure?”

“Definitely. I should get to know the little guy if he’s gonna be living with us, anyway.” Another one of those charming smiles and Lukas had no choice but to agree. 

“Thanks, Jesse.” He opened the door for him. “You can go down if you want. I’ll be there, I just…need a minute.”

Jesse nodded. “I understand. We’ll be waiting in the car.” He gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder before walking out, softly closing the door behind him. 

Lukas walked around the apartment one last time, taking it in. Every bit of clutter, every piece of dirty laundry, every speck of dust. He was really leaving this place. 

Thank goodness. 

Adjusting to living with Jesse would definitely be strange—and more than a little awkward—but he would get used to it. Anything would be better than moving dirty socks from the couch every day and constantly avoiding tripping over clutter and listening to Aiden complain all the time. 

Lukas took a deep breath before turning and walking out. 

About halfway down the stairs, he heard a familiar voice call his name. He stopped in his tracks. “Gill?”

Gill was at the bottom of the stairs, shopping bags in both hands. His eyes were wide as he hurried up to meet Lukas. “Dude, Aiden said you up and left last night! What the heck happened?”

Lukas looked away, his stomach twisting at the memory of the previous night. “It’s…a lot. I don’t want to talk about it.” He rubbed his arm again. He was suddenly horribly aware of what he must look like—his hair was a mess, he was in clothes that were far too big for him, and his hands were starting to shake. He reached up, running his fingers through his hair in both an attempt to fix it a little and an attempt to stay calm. 

“I won’t ask, then,” Gill said, and Lukas was grateful he’d run into Gill and not Maya. She wouldn’t have stopped asking until he told her. “Are you okay, though?”

“I…yeah. I will be. I’m, uh…I won’t be living here anymore, though.” 

“Hey, man, if that’s what you need to do. You’ll keep in touch, though, right? I won’t have to say goodbye to you and your cupcakes forever?” He was smiling a little, an attempt to lighten the mood. Lukas managed a small smile in return. 

“Yeah, I’ll keep in touch with you. Maya, too, if she wants. And you know where I work if you ever want to stop by.” The dread settled heavier in his stomach as he realized Aiden also knew where he worked. Hopefully he wouldn’t try anything. If he did, Nell could step in if she needed to. Lukas felt bad relying on her to fight his battles, but he didn’t think he’d be able to handle Aiden alone without it ending badly again. 

Gill nodded. “We will. You want a hug, dude? You look like you could use one.”

Lukas hesitated slightly before nodding. It would be his last bit of familiarity before he left. Gill set his shopping bags down on the step and pulled Lukas into a tight hug. 

He wrapped his arms around him in return, leaning into the warmth a little. It wasn’t the same as Jesse’s warmth, but it was still comforting in its familiarity, even if this was different from how Gill’s hugs usually were. This one lacked all of his trademark excitement—instead, he seemed almost sad. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” he said quietly. “Mario Kart isn’t gonna be the same.”

“I know.” Lukas was just as quiet. He pulled away from the hug. “Thanks, Gill. I…I needed that.”

“Any time, man. I’ll see you around?” he asked, picking his grocery bags back up. 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “I’ll see you around.”

Gill gave him one more smile before continuing up the stairs. Lukas breathed a soft, almost shaky sigh as he made his way back outside. He didn’t want to keep them waiting too long. 

“There you are,” Axel said as he pulled the car door open. He sat in the back seat, next to Dewey’s carrier. “We were gonna leave you behind if you didn’t hurry up.”

Lukas clicked his seatbelt closed, resting his aching arm on the carrier. “Sorry.”

“He’s just teasing.” Jesse rolled his eyes fondly. “We wouldn’t do that.”

Lukas hummed softly, a little distracted. Talking to Gill had made it hit him all over that he was really leaving. 

“Are you okay?” Jesse asked quietly as they drove off, resting a warm hand over Lukas’. 

“Yeah.” He turned his hand so his fingers were intertwined with Jesse’s, trying to ignore the heat it brought to his cheeks. “I’m okay.”

The drive back was otherwise quiet. Even Dewey didn’t make much noise—he’d probably gone to sleep. Lukas stayed staring out the window, focusing on the feeling of Jesse’s hand in his. He wasn’t sure when Jesse had started rubbing his thumb back and forth, but it felt nice. 

He was a little disappointed that he had to let go when they pulled up to the apartment. He lifted Dewey’s carrier, shifting the weight slightly in an attempt to find a position that didn’t hurt his arm. 

“Thank you again for everything,” he said as Jesse and Axel got out of the car and started grabbing boxes. “I appreciate it a lot.”

“It’s no problem, really.” Jesse gave him a smile so warm it could probably melt the snow around them. It certainly melted Lukas’ heart. “C’mon, let’s get this stuff inside.”

With Axel’s added help, taking the boxes into the apartment was even faster than taking them out had been. Olivia was finished with whatever she had been doing earlier, so she helped find a space for all of the boxes to go, saying they would find a better place for everything soon. Lukas was hit with another wave of that odd mix of gratitude and guilt—these people were being so kind, helpful, and understanding despite barely knowing him. 

Once the last box was inside and Dewey had been set free to explore the new space, Lukas remembered that he still had to call Petra. He had his hand on the doorknob when Jesse spoke. “Did we forget something in the car?”

Lukas shook his head. “No, I…I have to call my sister. I missed her calls and she’s probably worried.”

“It’s cold outside. If you want some privacy, you can use mine and Axel’s room. As long as Axel doesn’t mind.” Jesse glanced over at his friend, who shrugged. 

“I guess so. Just don’t touch my stuff.”

“I won’t. Thank you,” Lukas said, making his way to the bedroom. He closed the door softly, taking a deep breath before calling Petra. 

“Hey, Petra. Sorry I missed your calls,” he said as she picked up. 

“Hey, I’m just glad you called now. What happened that you missed all of them? You had me worried.”

“Sorry,” he repeated, sitting on the floor in front of Jesse’s bed. He brought his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them. “It’s…kind of a lot. I, uh…I kinda yelled at Aiden last night.”

“Finally. He deserves it.”

“Yeah, well…he didn’t take it very well. I…I don’t really know the specifics of what he said because I was scared he would punch me, but I did hear him say to get out. So, um…I did.” He fiddled with the zipper on his jacket, the memory of the previous night’s fear starting to choke him a little. He took a breath to compose himself, though it trembled a little on the way out. 

“…What?!” He pulled the phone away from his ear slightly, wincing at her sudden volume. “I swear, if I ever get my hands on his stupid, slimy face—”

“Petra—”

“He deserves it! You know he does! I never liked him, I never understood how someone as nice as you was friends with such a jerk—”

“Petra, please—”

“He didn’t hurt you, right? He better not have hurt you or else—”

“Petra,” he repeated, his voice cracking slightly. Her anger was cutting through his shakily formed peace like a knife through butter. He hadn’t expected her to get so angry, though he supposed he should have known. She’d always been hot-headed and fiercely protective. 

There was silence on the other end, then a heavy sigh. “Sorry. Are you okay, though?”

Lukas had heard that question so many times in the past day. He glanced at the closed door, taking a shaky breath before finally quietly admitting, “I don’t know.” 

It had always been easier to be honest with Petra. As fiery as she was, Lukas knew she would never hurt him on purpose. He could tell her anything. 

“Well…do you have somewhere to stay?”

“Yeah. I…I went to Jesse’s place last night after everything and he said I could stay. We just finished bringing all my stuff over.” His eyes began to well up with tears. “They’ve…they’ve all been really nice to me. I get the feeling Axel doesn’t like me much but he’s still been helping.” 

“That’s good.” Petra’s voice was quieter now, soft in the way it only was when Lukas was upset. “They sound like good people.”

“Yeah.” A tear dripped down the bridge of his nose. 

“Have you eaten anything?”

“I had a pancake this morning. Jesse made breakfast.” He sniffled softly, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. “It was really good.”

Petra hummed slightly. “Good. I know it's harder when you’re stressed. I’m glad you’ve had something, though.”

“Yeah,” he said again, resting his forehead on his knees. He took another shaky breath, trying to calm down a little more. “When are you coming home?”

“Soon. I’ll be home for Christmas. I always am.”

“I know,” he murmured. “I just…I miss you.” 

“I miss you, too. I promise, we’ll see each other soon.” 

“I know.”

“I have to go now. It’ll be okay. I love you.”

“Love you, too. Bye.”

He set the phone on the floor beside him as the call ended. There was an ache deep in his chest, a messy ball of all of the emotions from the past day or so that was starting to spill out all over again. 

He made sure to cry quietly this time. He had a lot of practice. 

Eventually, his tears slowed to a halt. He took one last shaky breath, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand before tucking his phone back in his pocket and getting to his feet. He glanced around the room, his eyes landing on a picture of Jesse laughing with his friends. Lukas smiled a bit, pulling the door open and leaving the room. 

He would be okay here. 

Chapter Text

Things at home had felt…awkward recently. 

Jesse wanted to think that Lukas was adjusting well, but he really couldn’t tell. He’d been very quiet and a little distant, politely turning down Jesse’s invitations to hang out with him and Axel and Olivia. He spent a lot of time tucked into his own little space, doing his own thing. 

Axel didn’t really talk to him, though he still acted the same as always around Olivia and Jesse. He was worried they weren’t getting along, but there didn’t seem to be any actual problems between them other than Axel’s avoidance. He probably just needed time to get used to things. 

Olivia was the most normal—she got along with Lukas alright, and they’d even had a few short conversations. She even let Dewey sleep on her bed while she worked sometimes, though she was always diligent about cleaning the cat hair once he’d left. 

Jesse was sure everyone just needed some time to get used to each other. It had only been a few days, after all.

Besides, he still visited Lukas at work every day. That hadn’t changed. There was something special about it that Jesse couldn’t quite place. Probably just because it was familiar. 

The bell above the door jingled its cheerful little sound as he pushed it open. He waved at Nell, who gave him a wave in return before turning back to her drawing. He sat at the table in the corner where he and Lukas usually spent his break. 

Lukas had forgotten his lunch that morning. It had been sitting on the counter when Jesse was packing his own. He tended to leave for work before Jesse was even finished making breakfast, assuring him he would get something on the way to work—it was routine, he’d explained when Jesse asked—so Jesse figured he could just bring it with him when he visited.

He set the bag in the center of the table, kicking his feet a bit as he waited. He’d managed to get most of the dirt off of his hands on the way over, though his reflection in the window showed that there were still smudges all over his face. 

Soon enough, he heard the door to the back open and the soft sound of Lukas’ voice as he assured Nell he’d keep an eye on the counter while she took her break. It was only a few seconds later that Lukas sat down across from him. There was a smudge of flour on his cheek and it made Jesse feel a little better about the dirt. It was kind of cute on Lukas, too. 

Jesse paused slightly, shaking the thought from his head. He’d been thinking things like that a lot recently. 

“Hey, Lukas,” he said, smiling. He pushed the bag closer to him. “You forgot your lunch this morning.”

Lukas glanced at it, something unrecognizable in his eyes for a second before he returned the smile. “Thanks, Jesse. I hadn’t even noticed.”

“No problem! So, anything interesting happen today?” Jesse asked, opening his own lunch box and unwrapping his sandwich. 

Lukas shrugged, playing with the corner of the bag. “Nell says we got two more customers than usual this morning, plus there was a cake order. And I made a few more of those little snowman cupcakes like the one in the window. They’re fun.”

“They look fun. I love their little faces.” He’d noticed the cupcake display on his way in. It was a regular vanilla cupcake with peppermint frosting and a little marshmallow snowman on top. He was considering getting one once he finished his lunch. 

“I’m gonna get to do a lot more stuff like that the closer we get to the holidays.” Jesse watched as Lukas folded the corner of the bag back and forth a few times. It crinkled softly as he did. He hadn’t pulled anything out of it yet. “What about you? How’s your day been?” 

“Pretty good! We’re starting plans for our Christmas party. I’m in charge of decorations.” He took a bite of his sandwich, chewing and swallowing before he continued. “I’m also gonna visit my parents later. Olivia said she’d drive me since she has to get groceries.”

Lukas hummed slightly. “I won’t cause too many problems while you’re gone.” He offered a teasing little smile and Jesse felt that weird flutter return. 

“I know I don’t have to worry about you. Axel, though…” he joked, grinning as Lukas snorted and covered his mouth. Jesse really liked making him laugh.

“Well, I hope you have a good time.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s always nice seeing them again.” He finished his sandwich, crumpling the paper. Lukas still hadn’t even opened his own lunch. “Aren’t you eating?”

“Huh? Oh, uh…I’m not really hungry right now. I’ll eat it a little later,” he said, glancing down at the table as he ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks for bringing it, though.”

Something Jesse had noticed over the past few days of Lukas living with them was that he tended to eat at odd times. He didn’t usually eat dinner with everyone else, assuring Jesse he’d grab something later. Jesse wasn’t sure how often he did—the leftovers were often untouched when he pulled them out the next day. He wondered if it was a habit left over from living in his previous apartment. 

“If you’re sure,” he said, getting to his feet. “I want to get one of those funny little cupcakes. And maybe some lemon bars for my parents.” He pulled his wallet out, walking over to the counter. 

Lukas was quick to follow, going around to the other side of the counter. He handed Jesse a cupcake and grabbed a box, neatly arranging the lemon bars in it. Jesse smiled, handing him the money before heading back to the table with the baked goods. It was the same familiar routine. It was nice. 

“How’s the cupcake?” Lukas asked as Jesse took a bite. He didn’t sit down, though he did lean against the chair a bit. “I haven’t actually tried them.”

“It’s really good,” he said. He held it out slightly. “Do you want some?”

Lukas shook his head before finally sitting down, resting his chin in his hand. “I’m good, but thanks. You enjoy it.”

Jesse shrugged a little, finishing it off. The peppermint frosting paired nicely with the vanilla of the cake itself, and the little marshmallow snowman added an extra pop to the whole thing that really tied it together. 

“Here, you have some, uh…” Lukas reached out, brushing his thumb along the tip of Jesse’s nose. His eyes went wide soon after, though, and he pulled his hand back quickly. The rest of his sentence came out in a mumble. “Frosting. On your face.”

Jesse blinked dumbly, his mind taking a second to catch up to what had just happened. “Oh, um…thanks.” His face felt really warm all of a sudden, the fluttery feeling in his chest stronger than ever. 

Lukas stood up quickly, grabbing onto the back of the chair as he did. His face and ears were pink. “I, uh, should probably head back now. Thanks for coming. Um…have fun at your parents’ place.” 

Jesse nodded, his thoughts still a little hazy. “Yeah. Thanks. Have…have fun baking.”

He watched as Lukas grabbed his lunch bag and hurried off to the back again. He reached up and touched his nose gently, his face still hot. 

Was that normal? 

He shook himself off a bit, gathering his things. He had to get back to work. The faster the day went by, the faster he could visit his parents. 

Maybe he could ask them about whatever was going on. 

—-

Jesse’s parents’ house was on the edge of town, in a small forest clearing with a long gravel driveway. Ivor had never liked visitors, and Jesse had grown up with plenty of space to run around and play. The only difference between Jesse’s childhood and now was that the house lacked any Christmas decorations except for a small, plain wreath on the front door and some lights in the bushes. Ivor had stopped decorating once Jesse moved out, but Harper made sure to keep a bit of liveliness around the dreary old house. 

Jesse waved goodbye to Olivia as her car pulled away and checked the box of lemon bars to make sure none had gotten squished. They were still in good condition. The snow and gravel crunched under his boots as he walked up the driveway. He knocked twice before pulling the door open.

“Mom, Dad, I’m home,” he called, smiling. The inside of the house was exactly like he remembered it—small, dark, and with books piled everywhere. He closed the door behind him.

“Jesse!” Ivor was at the top of the stairs, a stack of books in his arms. “I didn’t realize you were visiting today!”

“He told us he was coming the last time he called, remember?” Harper appeared behind him. She waved. “Hey, Jesse. We’ll be down in a minute—we were just organizing some of these books.”

“I’m surprised Dad agreed to that,” Jesse said, taking his coat and boots off. “What about his—”

“My system, yes! I know exactly where everything is!”

“He spent three hours trying to find a book last night and I told him we needed to organize better,” Harper explained. “This place is a mess.”

Ivor scoffed. “It’s not that bad.”

“It’s pretty bad.” Jesse laughed at Ivor’s affronted look. “What? You could never find anything when I lived here, either.”

“That doesn’t matter,” he said, dropping the stack of books with a thud. “This is a waste of time, anyway. You’re here now!”

He made his way down the stairs, Harper following close behind. Jesse pulled them both into a tight hug. “I missed you a lot.”

“Yes, yes, we missed you, too.” Ivor patted his back before pulling away. He’d never been the most physically affectionate, but he put up with it for Jesse’s sake. “What’s in that box?”

Jesse smiled, holding the box out as they made their way to the living room. “I brought lemon bars!”

“That’s very sweet of you,” Harper said, taking the box with a smile of her own. “Are these from that bakery you mentioned?”

He nodded, moving some books off of the couch so he could sit. “Yep! I picked them up when I went during my break today.”

“Excellent,” Ivor said as he sat next to Harper. She opened the box and handed him one of the bars, which he bit into immediately. “They’re very good.”

“Everything I’ve had there is good. Lukas and Nell are great at their job.” He smiled, thinking about the cupcake from earlier. It had been so good. 

“How’s Lukas doing, anyway?” Harper asked, taking a lemon bar of her own. “He’s the one that’s staying with you, right?”

“Yeah, that’s him. He still needs some time to adjust, I think. It was all pretty sudden.” His mind drifted to how distant Lukas had been at home, how quiet and reserved. 

“You said he came from an unpleasant situation, correct? It took you time to adjust to a new environment as well,” Ivor said. 

Jesse nodded, remembering back when he’d first come to live with Ivor. Things had been very different back then. “I’m just grateful you didn’t turn me away. I honestly thought you didn’t like me at first.”

“Yes, well, I wasn’t exactly expecting to suddenly have a child to take care of. There was no way I was letting you go back, though.”

“I’m glad,” he said, smiling. “It was like that when Mom came to live with us, too. So yeah, everyone probably just needs some time to get used to each other.”

“It’s still a little weird hearing you call me that,” Harper admitted. “It’s nice, though. I was worried all those fairytales you liked reading had given you a bad view on stepmothers.”

Jesse laughed a bit, shaking his head. “No way. You were never like that. Plus, you made Dad happy.”

“And we both know how hard that is,” she joked, glancing at Ivor. He scowled, though Jesse had known him long enough to know he wasn’t truly angry. 

“The point is,” he said loudly, clearly trying to redirect the conversation as Harper took his hand, “things are going to be awkward at first. Give it time.”

Jesse nodded. He’d certainly been feeling the awkwardness lately, and not just at home anymore. He thought about earlier, when Lukas had wiped the frosting from his face and hurried away. 

Now that he was thinking about it, he realized that hadn’t been the first time something like that had happened. He remembered when he’d gone back to make cookies with him, how he’d wiped the flour from Lukas’ cheek and they’d both frozen in a similar way.  Or when Lukas had gone quiet while they were playing Mario Kart, like he’d wanted to say something but changed his mind. 

He looked at his parents’ intertwined hands and couldn’t help but think of how nice it felt to hold Lukas’ hand. He’d done so a few times, and his hands were always cold. He unconsciously reached up, touching the tip of his nose. Being with Lukas always gave him that pleasant fluttery feeling, and it was stronger when they were close. Even the night he’d shown up at Jesse’s house, Jesse had wanted nothing more than to stay holding him forever. 

He blinked, looking at his lap. That…wasn’t normal, was it? He’d never felt that with any of his other friends before. He liked being close to them, but they didn’t give him the same warmth in his cheeks or the butterflies in his stomach. 

…Butterflies. That’s what it was, wasn’t it? It had to be.

“Everything okay, Jesse?” Harper asked, looking at him. “You got all quiet.”

“Yeah, just…thinking.” He glanced up, looking between them. His voice came out soft as he asked, “How did you know you were in love?”

Ivor raised an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”

Jesse shrugged, feeling heat rise to his cheeks all of a sudden. He looked at the box of lemon bars, half-empty by now. “Just, um…just curious.”

“You’ve never been very good at lying, Jesse.” There was a hint of amusement in his tone. 

“Oh, just tell him,” Harper said, nudging Ivor with her elbow and smiling. “Unless you want me to tell him what you were like.

“That won’t be necessary!”

“Actually…” Jesse rubbed the back of his neck, looking at them again. “Maybe it would help if you both told me what it felt like. Since, uh, since it’s different for everyone and all that.”

“Well, I suppose if that’s what you need,” Ivor muttered. “But only because it’s you, Jesse.” 

Jesse resisted the urge to cheer. Getting Ivor to talk about his feelings was nearly impossible. He hugged a pillow to his chest, just for something to hold while he listened.

“To be honest, I’d nearly given up on love after the…less than ideal end of my previous relationship.” Ivor stroked his beard, looking a bit distant. Jesse knew he didn’t like to talk about it, so he didn’t press. “But when I met Harper, I was immediately intrigued. I needed to learn more about her.”

“Did you know it was love?” Jesse asked, holding the pillow a bit tighter. 

“Not at first. But it became clear soon enough, since I couldn’t stop thinking about her.”

“He kept staring at me until I asked if he needed something,” Harper said, smiling. “I thought he was a little strange at first, but I grew to like that about him. Plus, he was always very sweet to me.”

Jesse hummed a little, taking a lemon bar as he thought. He wasn’t the biggest fan of lemon, but it was pretty good. The color reminded him of Lukas’ hair. Every little thing reminded him of Lukas, he realized. How hadn’t he noticed sooner?

“This is about that bakery boy, isn’t it?” Ivor asked, making Jesse nearly choke on his lemon bar. 

He coughed, feeling his whole face burn. “What makes you say that?”

“You aren’t exactly subtle. It was obvious from the first time you spoke about him.” 

Jesse buried his face in his hands. “I just…the stuff I’m feeling lines up with what you described. I can’t stop thinking about him and he makes me feel all floaty. I thought he was just cool, but now I don’t know. He’s really funny and pretty and sweet.”

Harper hummed slightly, resting a hand on Jesse’s shoulder. He peeked at her through the gaps in his fingers to see a small, gentle smile on her face. 

“You don’t have to know right away. But it definitely seems like you like him,” she said. 

“So…what do I do?” He lowered his hands and looked back at the box of lemon bars, thinking about Lukas and his pretty smile and his cute laugh and his soft hair. He thought of how quiet he’d been at home, clearly having some difficulty adjusting to the sudden change. Jesse didn’t want to push the delicate balance even further. Did Lukas even like him that way?

“Well, I think you should be honest.” Harper rubbed her thumb across Jesse’s shoulder. “But make sure to give him space, too. You don’t want to overwhelm him if he’s already under stress.”

“And be patient,” Ivor added. “You’ll know when the right time is.”

Jesse nodded, taking a breath. “Thanks, both of you.”

“Of course, honey. He clearly means a lot to you.” Harper squeezed his shoulder gently before letting go. 

“And if his lemon bars are this good, he’s certainly someone you want to keep in your life.”

Jesse laughed a bit at that, grabbing another one. “If you think these are good, wait until you try his cookies.”

“Perhaps when we visit for the holidays,” Ivor mused, dusting crumbs out of his beard. 

“Who knows, maybe you’ll have made your move by then,” Harper said with a smile. “It’ll be nice to meet him either way, though, especially if he’s as sweet as you say.”

“Like cookies,” Jesse said before he could stop himself. His face went red as Harper laughed. Even Ivor raised an eyebrow, an amused smile on his face. 

“For your sake, I hope you tell him soon. You might say something like that to his face otherwise,” he said with a chuckle. “It would make for a very awkward conversation.”

Jesse couldn’t help but laugh along. As embarrassing as it all was, he still felt amazing. He was in love. He couldn’t believe it had taken him so long to realize. 

The rest of his visit was spent making plans for Christmas. They did the same thing every year, but Ivor still liked to have a set schedule of times to arrive and leave. Jesse didn’t mind talking it over—it just made him even more excited for the holidays. He couldn’t wait to start decorating. 

Eventually, Olivia came back to pick him up. He hugged his parents goodbye, promising to visit again soon. Ivor told him to bring more lemon bars, which he’d cheerfully agreed to. The more time he got to spend at the bakery, the better. 

“You seem happy,” Olivia said as Jesse climbed into the front seat. “I take it you had a good time?”

He nodded, buckling his seatbelt. “A really good time. Everything is all worked out.”

Olivia hummed slightly as she pulled out of the driveway. “What else? You get excited after these visits, but something else happened. I can tell.” 

“I realized something.” He smiled, looking out of the window as they drove. The sky was a pretty shade of blue. “I’m in love.”

“With Lukas?” she asked, not taking her eyes off of the road. Jesse turned from the window, looking at her in surprise. She laughed a bit. “I was wondering how long it would take you to realize.”

“How—?!”

“Jesse, the first thing you told us about him was that he was cute,“ she pointed out. “And that you got sweaty and couldn’t focus.”

His cheeks started to burn all over again. He looked down at his lap, twisting his suspender in his hands a little. “Well, am I wrong?”

“No,” Olivia said, glancing at him as they reached a stoplight. “Just dense.”

“So what, everyone knows I’ve been crushing on Lukas except me?” he asked. It certainly felt like it. 

“Not everyone. I’m sure if Axel cared about that stuff he would’ve noticed, too, though.” She paused a bit, glancing at him again before driving off as the light turned green. “I don’t think Lukas knows, either.”

“Really?”

Olivia nodded. “He’s in his own world most of the time. He’s definitely more comfortable around you, but I don’t think he’s noticed. He probably has a lot on his mind.”

“Yeah,” Jesse murmured, his mind drifting back to the way Lukas had cried in his arms the night he came to the door. It had felt like something that had been building for a long time—what happened was just the last straw. “I’m sure he does.”

That just meant he would have to get to the bottom of it. The first step was to make extra sure Lukas felt comfortable living with them. Then Jesse could worry about how he was going to confess his feelings. He wanted it to be perfect. 

His gaze drifted back to the pretty blue sky. The color reminded him of Lukas’ eyes and the way they lit up when he was happy. Jesse wanted to be the one to bring him that feeling. 

He couldn’t stop a small smile from spreading across his face. Even if it had been obvious to nearly everyone else, the day’s realization still left him filled with a fuzzy warmth. 

I’m in love. 

Chapter Text

Lukas was not having a good day.

It had started out okay—ever since moving in with Jesse and his roommates, he’d fallen into a simple routine. He was usually the first one awake, which gave him plenty of time to get ready so he wasn’t in anyone’s way. By the time Jesse started making breakfast, he was already leaving for work.

He felt a bit bad about leaving without saying much to anyone, but he didn’t know Jesse’s roommates well enough yet and he was still pretty sure Axel didn’t like him. Besides, if he was out before breakfast was finished, he wouldn’t have to eat it.

He’d arrived at work, black coffee in hand, and that was when his day started going downhill. 

“The dishwasher is broken,” Radar had said, bent over the sink and almost elbow-deep in soapy water. He was scrubbing frantically, though there were so many bubbles that Lukas couldn’t tell what he was holding. “I called Stella and she said Binta would come fix it tonight, but we have to wash everything ourselves today.”

Lukas was on counter duty for the week, so he probably wouldn’t be the one who was washing everything. It just meant things would take a bit longer to get done. He’d thanked Radar for letting him know and gone to the back to finish getting ready. 

Not long after, Jesse had sent him a text letting him know he wouldn’t be able to make it to the bakery like usual, something about having to help one of his coworkers with something during their break. Lukas had assured him that it was alright, though he couldn’t help the disappointment that settled heavily in his chest. 

He stood behind the counter with very little to do until his break rolled around, at which point he made his way back to the break room. A single glance at his lunch was enough to make his stomach turn, so he just filled a paper cup with water from the cooler and drank that before going back to the front. 

It was only a few moments later that the bell above the door jingled. Lukas forced his usual sugar-sweet smile, opening his mouth to greet the new customers before his heart nearly stopped, an icy dread settling over him as his breath caught in his throat. 

It was Aiden. 

Maya and Gill were behind him, but Lukas could only focus his gaze on Aiden’s scowling face. Every part of his body was screaming at him to run and hide. Instead, he mustered the smile back up, hiding his shaking hands behind the counter. 

“How can I help you?” he asked, grateful his voice stayed steady. He couldn’t let Aiden see any fear. Never let Aiden see any fear. 

“Don’t give me that,” Aiden spat, his scowl deepening. “You know what I’m here for.”

“I…really don’t,” Lukas said, though he was honestly surprised it had taken this long for Aiden to show up. He locked eyes with Gill for a moment, but he could only offer a shrug.

“Oh, so you’ve already forgotten how you left? How half of this month’s rent just disappeared? How you ran off to your little boyfriend’s house with your tail between your legs like a scared dog?”

“Boyfriend? I don’t—“

“Don’t play dumb. I’ve heard you on the phone with Petra. You’re always talking about that guy.” He raised the pitch of his voice a bit in a mocking imitation of Lukas. “Oooh, he’s so pretty, he’s like a little loaf of bread or whatever.” His voice dropped back to his normal pitch at the end, the last few words full of venom. 

Lukas dug his nails into his palms to steady himself. When had Aiden even heard his phone calls? “He’s not my boyfriend, and I don’t sound like that. And I left because you told me to get out.” 

Wrong thing to say. Aiden’s expression only darkened further. Lukas swallowed hard, fighting the urge to take a step back. The buzzing in his head was starting to come back, the fear looping its sickening tendrils around his chest. Aiden’s next few words were kind of a blur, the same ringing in his ears from the night they fought returning and making it nearly impossible for him to make out what his former roommate was saying. 

“…out because…stupid…I bet he doesn’t even want you!” 

That caught Lukas’ attention, the haze in his mind clearing just long enough for him to breathe a quiet “what?”

“You heard me.” Aiden’s voice was rising in volume as he spoke, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “I bet that guy doesn’t even like you! He only took you in out of pity! You’re always chasing after guys who don’t want you, just like in high school!”

Lukas felt his breath catch in his throat again, any argument dying on his tongue. He could swear he saw a flash of guilt in Maya’s eyes as she reached forward and grabbed Aiden’s arm. 

“I think you’re taking this too far,” she said. “I thought you just wanted to talk to him.”

Aiden turned his glare to her, shaking her hand off of his arm. “Get off! I’m not done!” He looked back at Lukas, eyes mocking. “People show you the smallest bit of kindness and you fall in love. I mean, I know you’re a fruitcake, but it’s just pathetic watching you chase after any scrap of affection.”

Lukas gripped the counter as a wave of dizziness hit him. Not now, please not now. “I don’t—“

“Just face it, Lukas,” Aiden hissed, voice low and sharp. “He doesn’t want you. So come back to what you know. You’ve always liked staying where it’s safe. Hiding from everything.”

The words stung, mostly because Lukas knew they were true. He clung to safety. He didn’t like change, didn’t like conflict. He stayed small and out of the way. Never a bother, never an inconvenience. 

Wasn’t that what he was doing now, at Jesse’s apartment?

“I’m not going back,” he managed, his voice mercifully staying steady. “Maybe I do like staying where it’s safe. That isn’t with you.”

His heart started to pound as Aiden took a step forward, but before he could get much further, a hand grabbed his arm. 

“I think it’s time to go,” Gill said, pulling Aiden back. His voice was quiet, and much colder than Lukas had ever heard it sound. If he hadn’t been so shaken, he would have been surprised—Gill didn’t usually stand up to Aiden, choosing to just follow along with whatever happened.

“Shut up, Gill,” Aiden snapped, trying to pull away. Gill was stronger, though, and his grip on Aiden’s arm stayed firm. Aiden turned away from Lukas to glare at him. “What are you doing?”

“It’s time to go,” he repeated. “Leave him alone.” 

Gill offered Lukas an apologetic smile before pulling Aiden out. Maya looked at him one last time, the guilt still in her eyes, before she turned and followed them. 

Lukas stood frozen for a few seconds, his hands shaking. His mind was still reeling, each of Aiden’s barbed words getting caught in his chest and making it hard to breathe. 

As much as he hated to admit it, Aiden was right. Why would Jesse like him? Just because he was nice, just because they were friends, didn’t mean anything. He was only an inconvenience. He’d just been hiding himself away from everything. 

How could Jesse love someone so cowardly?

He’d barely had a few seconds to try to compose himself before he heard someone clear their throat. “How long are we going to have to wait for service?”

Lukas startled a bit, pulled from his thoughts. A man in the most awful purple suit he’d ever seen was looking at him with an eyebrow raised. He hadn’t even heard anyone else come in, yet the man had two other people with him. 

Lukas plastered the smile back on his face, hoping it didn’t look as shaky as he still felt. “Sorry, sorry. Um…what can I get you?” 

“A pumpkin pie, two dozen sugar cookies, peppermint bars, and a fruitcake,” the woman behind him rattled off, so fast that he barely had time to process it. It didn’t help that her hair was a very distracting electric blue.

Fruitcake.

Lukas’ breath caught slightly as Aiden’s words replayed in his head. He shook it off, trying to remember what else the woman had said. “Right, uh, just a moment, please.”

He turned to the case, scanning it a little frantically for what he needed. His body trembled almost uncontrollably as he started pulling things out and setting them on the counter. He stood up a little too quickly and stumbled as the dizziness washed over him again. 

“Are you alright?” asked the third man, who hadn’t spoken much. His beard reminded Lukas of whipped cream. 

Whipped cream. The pie. He’d nearly dropped it, but he set it on the counter before it could slip out of his hands. 

“I’m good, sorry. Just tripped a little.”

“You see that, Mevia?” the man in the purple suit muttered, just loud enough for Lukas to hear. “Clumsy staff. I told you this place wouldn’t be any good.”

“I see it, Hadrian. But it won’t matter as long as the food is good.” Her voice was just as grating as her hair. Lukas tried to ignore them, just trying to find the fruitcake. 

He couldn’t see it anywhere. He knew they had some, he’d seen it that morning. Stella always insisted they had some around this time of year, claiming it made a great last-minute gift. He wondered if she knew from experience. 

“What’s taking so long? We have somewhere to be.” 

Lukas wasn’t even sure which of them had said it. It was getting harder to breathe, his racing mind muddling any coherent thought except that he needed to find this fruitcake, repeated louder and louder in Aiden’s mocking tone. Why did it have to be fruitcake, of all things?

“S-sorry, sorry,” he stammered, smoothing the wrinkles in his apron just for something to do with his shaking hands. “I’ll be right back.”

He turned and hurried through the doors to the kitchen. Nell and Radar both looked up at him, their hands covered in soap. 

“Whoa, dude, what’s up?” Nell asked. “Everything good?”

The words all came out in a rush, the pressure in his chest growing by the second. “There are some people out there and I can’t find their fruitcake even though I know we have so I wanted to ask you—“

“Lukas, dude.” Nell set the soapy dish down, drying her hands before resting one on his shoulder. “Calm down. Why don’t you go take a break and I’ll handle this, yeah? You’re shaking like crazy.”

All he could manage was a small nod. “Thanks, I—sorry—“

“It’s chill. I got this.” 

He watched as she left, her calm voice drifting through the doors a little. Lukas stayed frozen for another few seconds before going to the break room, locking himself in the employee bathroom. He closed the lid on the toilet and sat down, burying his face in his hands. 

The room was silent except for the buzz of the lights and his own shuddering breaths. His eyes burned with tears that he refused to let fall. Not at work, he couldn’t cry at work. 

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

He wished Jesse were there. He had such a calming aura surrounding him. Lukas always felt a little better when he was around. 

He’d been so sweet lately. Ever since Lukas had started living there, he’d been nothing but welcoming and thoughtful. Lukas had been waking up with extra blankets on him as it got colder and there were always plates of food saved for him. He felt a little bad about not eating them, but it had been so much harder lately. 

Everything had been so much harder lately. 

He took another shaky breath, pressing his palms into his eyes until he saw strange swirling patterns. He had to get it together. He stood up, making his way to the sink and splashing some cold water on his face. He gripped the edges of the sink, looking at his exhausted reflection in the mirror, though he couldn’t meet his own eyes. 

“Pull yourself together,” he mumbled, turning his gaze away. He dried his face with a few paper towels. His hands were still a little shaky, but the rest of his body had stopped trembling quite so forcefully. It was a little bit easier to breathe. 

There was a quiet knock on the door, followed by Radar’s worried voice. “Uh…Lukas? Are you okay in there?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” His voice came out steady, which he was grateful for. He pulled the door open. “Sorry about that.”

Radar shook his head. “Don’t be. As long as you’re sure you’re okay. What happened out there?”

“I just…got a little overwhelmed. It’s been a long few days and I guess it caught up to me,” he said, running a hand through his hair. It was mostly true—he just decided to leave out everything with Aiden. He didn’t want to think about it. 

Radar hummed slightly, following Lukas as he walked out of the break room. “Well, I hope your day gets better. Nell said she’ll handle the counter the rest of the day, so you can take over for her back here.”

Lukas felt a wave of relief wash over him at that. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle the counter again so soon. He couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty, though; they had a schedule, and it wasn’t Nell’s week to run the counter. 

Still, he readily accepted the opportunity, and the rest of the day passed smoothly. By the time the end of the day came around, Lukas was able to breathe again and his hands weren’t anywhere near as shaky.

He was a little embarrassed that Nell and Radar had seen him crumbling so badly, but he was grateful they hadn’t heard why. They shouldn’t have to worry about his personal problems. 

At the end of the day, he thanked them both and headed out, shivering a little at the drop in temperature. It had started raining, which was just the runny icing on the poorly-made cake that his day had been.

He was soaking wet by the time he made it back to the apartment, only to find that the door was locked. Right—Olivia had said she had a doctor’s appointment and Jesse and Axel would both still be at work for a little while longer. At least Jesse had shown him where the spare key was. 

Dewey meowed as he walked in, rubbing against his legs before hopping onto the sofa and curling up. He had been settling in easily, happy to have a warm, quiet place to sleep and people to feed him. Lukas was almost jealous of how quickly he’d managed to adjust. 

“Hey, Dew,” he said, his voice sounding tired even to his own ears. He gave him a little kiss on his head before grabbing some dry clothes and heading to the bathroom to change. It felt a lot nicer to be wearing something soft and dry. 

As he was gathering his wet clothes, the patch on the back of his jacket caught his eye. He’d forgotten he was wearing it—it had just been the first thing he grabbed on the way out that morning, even if it wasn’t quite enough to stave off the increasing winter chill. Gill had made them back in middle school, not too long after they’d all become friends.

Lukas’ heart twisted at the memory. Things had been different back then. Easier.  

…Hadn’t they?

The more he thought about it, the more he realized things hadn’t been as nice as he liked to pretend. Aiden had always made fun of everyone, including him. Maya had been judgemental and cruel, the queen of gossip whether it was true or not. Gill had just gone along with whatever the others were doing. Maya and Gill had definitely mellowed out a little since then, but Aiden hadn’t changed. 

His words from before came back to Lukas, sending an icy chill down his spine that completely nullified any of the warmth from his dry clothes. 

You’re always chasing after guys who don’t want you, just like in high school!

He knew exactly what Aiden had been talking about. How could he forget? 

His previous crushes had never worked out, but it was usually because he never said anything about them. In high school, though, Maya had found out about one of them. By the end of the week, almost their entire grade knew—including his crush. Lukas hadn’t talked to any of them for a week, too hurt and embarrassed. He was glad he’d met Petra by then, so he at least wasn’t completely alone.

Maya had never apologized for that, had she?

And of course Aiden had taken every opportunity to make fun of him. Not just for his crush, but…everything, really. And as sweet as Gill could be sometimes, he still went along with anything the others did.

Lukas felt so stupid. Petra had always asked him why he stayed, and he’d said it was because they were his friends. Now he was starting to wonder if that was ever really true. 

Before he knew what he was doing, his trembling hands grabbed the jacket and yanked at the patch as hard as possible. He kept tugging until his fingers hurt, digging his nails in until the patch was halfway off in a tangled mess of thread and old, cracking leather. 

He stared at it for a few seconds, his shuddering breaths filling the empty room as the weight of what he’d just done crashed into him. The jacket was completely ruined, the patch in tatters beyond any hope of repair. The leather itself was old and worn, and it peeled away around the remains of the patch. There was no way he’d be able to fix it. 

He didn’t realize he’d started crying until a tear fell onto his hand, a quiet sob bubbling its way out of him as he sank to his knees and clutched the jacket to his chest. He couldn’t believe he’d just done that. It wasn’t like he could just get a new one—a good leather jacket was a lot of money and Gill had hand-made the patches on them.

Lukas set the jacket on his lap and buried his face in his hands, the day’s frustration and hurt pouring out of him in choked, shaky sobs. He felt like all he’d been doing was crying lately. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Aiden’s sneered that it was pathetic.

Eventually, he managed to pull himself together enough to gather the ruined jacket in his arms and carry it out of the bathroom. He folded it as neatly as he could and tucked it away in one of his boxes before grabbing his apron.

He wasn’t as familiar with Jesse’s kitchen yet. He didn’t really spend much time in it, after all. He managed to find a bowl and the measuring spoons, though, and he started gathering the ingredients for cookies. He just needed to bake something, and cookies had become something of a comfort lately, even if he didn’t eat any. 

The familiar actions of measuring and mixing ingredients soothed him a little. Little by little, the forceful trembling of his hands slowed to the normal amount of shakiness. He could breathe again. 

All of Jesse’s dishware was fun colors. It was cute.

Lukas was pulling the third batch out of the oven when he heard the door open. He froze, his eyes scanning over the mess he’d made. The sink was full of dishes and he’d spilled a few things on the counter. 

“It smells amazing in here!” Jesse’s voice was unmistakable. His eyes lit up as he walked into the kitchen and saw Lukas, still standing frozen with the tray of cookies in his hands. “Lukas, hey! Did you just make all this?”

Lukas nodded a little, an apology already on his lips. “Sorry, I’ll clean everything. I can also pay you back for the ingredients.”

“You don’t have to pay me, silly,” he said, taking his coat off. “You’re welcome to anything in the kitchen, you know. Besides, the cookies are more than enough. Are they cool enough to eat yet?”

“The, uh…the first batch should be.” He finally set the tray down. He was welcome to anything in the kitchen? He didn’t have to pay Jesse back? 

“Awesome! Hey, guys, Lukas made cookies!” Jesse said as Axel and Olivia walked in. He took three, holding two out to his friends. 

“Oh, sweet! I was just thinking about cookies,” Axel said, biting into it immediately. 

Olivia smiled as she took hers. “Thanks, Lukas. They smell really good.”

He nodded a little. “I’m glad you like them.” It made him feel better to know they weren’t upset. He didn’t really think they would be, but a small part of him couldn’t help but worry.

“Are you going to have one?” Jesse asked, taking a second cookie. 

“Oh, um…I wasn’t. You can have them.” His stomach growled, pointedly reminding him that he hadn’t eaten anything all day. His ears went pink as Jesse handed him a cookie.

“Here. You made a lot, so take if you want some.” His eyes matched the chocolate chips, his smile just as warm as the cookie in his hand. 

Lukas could only nod, looking down at the cookie. Maybe just one wouldn’t be so bad. He took a small bite, smiling a little at the sweet flavor. It was still soft, and he had to cup his other hand underneath to catch the crumbs. 

“Man, Jesse wasn’t kidding. These really are the best cookies ever.” Lukas jerked forward a little at a hearty pat on his shoulder, unprepared for the impact. He hadn’t even seen Axel come up behind him. “You’re not so bad, you know,” he said, taking another cookie. 

“Uh…thank you?” Lukas rubbed his shoulder a little. Ow.

It was a relief to know that Axel didn’t completely hate him, though. The entire time he’d been staying with them, Lukas had been almost certain that Axel didn’t want him there. Maybe he’d just needed time to adjust. Lukas could understand that.

He started to clean the counter as Axel and Jesse left the room, glancing over in surprise as he heard the dishes in the sink move. Olivia was standing there, starting to wash them.

“Oh, you don’t have to,” he said. “I’ll get to it.”

She shook her head. “I don’t mind. It’ll get cleaned faster this way.” 

That was something else he’d noticed. Jesse, Axel, and Olivia were always helping each other. He hadn’t even heard them argue—not seriously, at least.  It was…refreshing. Peaceful.

“Thank you, then,” he said softly, joining her at the sink once the counter was clean. She nodded, drying her hands and starting to put the dishes away. 

It was nice to have a little help, actually. She was right; they finished a lot faster than he would have if he was working alone. 

“We were going to play some board games before dinner,” Olivia said as she put the last of the dishes away. “You’re welcome to join.”

He hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Sure. That sounds fun.”

Olivia smiled, turning and walking out. He could hear her say something to the others, though he couldn’t quite make out what. He could hear a barely concealed cheer from Jesse, though, so he figured it was something good. 

Lukas couldn’t help a smile of his own, grabbing a second cookie before going to join them. He had a good feeling about this. Even if his old friends hadn’t been the best…maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to make new ones.

Chapter Text

Jesse was worried about Lukas.

Well, okay. He’d been worried about Lukas ever since he showed up crying at his door. He was more worried about Lukas than usual. 

Ever since Jesse had realized how he felt, he started to observe Lukas a little more closely, trying to find the perfect moment to confess his feelings. He’d been settling in a little more, which was a relief, but it also meant Jesse was starting to notice more. There were a lot of things that just didn’t quite seem right.

For one thing, Jesse was almost sure Lukas was avoiding eating dinner with them. He had been spending a little more time with everyone instead of tucking himself into a corner, but the moment it was time for dinner, he always seemed to shrink away with some kind of excuse. Jesse always saved him some food, but a lot of the time it remained untouched.

Now that he thought about it, he’d never really seen Lukas eat anything very often. He didn’t usually eat during his break at work, either, and as much as he’d been baking lately, he hadn’t really touched any of it.

Jesse wanted to ask him about it, but he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. Lukas had just started to get more comfortable—Jesse didn’t want to scare him off again. 

It was why he hadn’t asked his other question, either. 

To be honest, Jesse was kind of nervous. He’d never felt like this about anyone before. He didn’t even know if Lukas felt the same way. Sure, they were friends, but that didn’t mean anything. 

Besides, Lukas was so beautiful, with his soft hair and his crooked little smile and his pretty laugh. Jesse thought of his own pudgy body, arms and legs littered with jagged, ugly scars. Lukas was way out of his league. 

Still, though…Jesse had to try. He just needed to wait for the right time. He thought about what Ivor said, how he would know the right time when it came. 

As he walked into the kitchen and saw Lukas arranging cookie dough on a tray, he hoped that time was soon. 

“Hey, Jesse. Sorry, I’ll be out of your way in a minute,” he said, adjusting one of the rows. That was something else Jesse had been noticing—he apologized a lot. “I just have one more batch to put in.”

Jesse looked at the trays of cookies on the counter. The whole apartment had smelled like baked goods every evening for the past few days because Lukas had been coming home and baking until it was time for Jesse to make dinner. It seemed like he’d done extra tonight—it was Christmas Eve, after all. There were little gingerbread men and the pieces to make a house.

“You’re not in the way,” he assured. “I was gonna make soup, so I don’t need the oven.”

Lukas hummed slightly, moving the cooled cookies onto a plate. “Do you want any help?”

“If you want to.” He smiled, grabbing his recipe book and flipping through the pages. Cooking with Lukas? The idea excited him a little. 

“Here’s what we need,” he said, pointing to the recipe. “Have you ever made broccoli cheddar soup before?”

Lukas shook his head. “I don’t cook very much, if I’m being honest.”

That was surprising. Aiden didn’t sound like he’d been the type to cook. Maybe they had ordered a lot of takeout?

“Well, I can show you, then.” He added some butter to the pot as Lukas brought the vegetables over. He set the onion on the cutting board, humming softly while he worked. Lukas watched from over his shoulder. 

“Do you usually do the cooking?” he asked. 

Jesse nodded, scraping the onion bits into the pot. “Sometimes Olivia does it, but most of the time it’s me. I like cooking.”

“What about Axel?”

“Axel,” he said, laughing a bit, “isn’t allowed to cook on his own after nearly blowing up the oven. Twice. But he’s really not that bad at it, either. Here, can you stir this?”

Lukas nodded, taking the spoon. “You know, after the way he got tangled in the Christmas lights when we were putting them up, that doesn’t surprise me.”

Jesse laughed, shaking his head as he started chopping more vegetables. “Would you believe me if I said that’s the third time that’s happened? That’s why Olivia usually does the lights, but he got to them while she was getting the ornament box.”

“It was like something out of a cartoon. It was a lot of fun, though,” he said, smiling. “When I would help Petra and her dads decorate for Christmas back in high school, she would break an ornament every year. We got really good at gluing little pieces together.”

They both jumped a bit as the sudden beep of the oven timer interrupted their conversation. Jesse hadn’t even noticed the scent of cookies since the soup was kind of overpowering it. He took the spoon from Lukas, stirring the pot in his place while he set the cookies out to cool.

“You said your sister is coming to pick you up tomorrow, right?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah, Petra’s coming to pick me up so we can have dinner with her dads.” He took the spoon back, his hand brushing against Jesse’s as he did. It was warm, probably from being over the soup and then on the cookie tray. 

“I’ve, uh, been meaning to ask,” he said, trying to focus on the soup and not the same warmth rising in his own face. “You always say ‘Petra and her dads,’ but isn’t she your sister? They’re not your dads, too?”

Lukas shook his head. “I guess I never really did explain, huh? She’s not…we aren’t actually related. We’re just really close friends and she’s basically like a sister, but…not by blood.”

Jesse hummed a little. “I get it. Dad took me in when I didn’t have anyone and he married Mom a few years before I moved out. You don’t have to be blood to be family.”

Lukas stared into the pot of soup as he stirred it. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I guess not.”

They fell into a peaceful silence after that, only broken by the sounds of the knife against the cutting board and the spoon in the pot. Jesse took the opportunity to just watch Lukas. He seemed lost in thought, blue eyes focused on the soup. 

He had such pretty eyes. Jesse thought all eye colors were pretty, though sometimes he couldn’t help but wish his own eyes were a different color. They were just plain brown, like the dirt he was always covered in. 

That was another thing—he was so messy and Lukas wasn’t. Even when he was covered in ingredients, it was never very much. Besides, he looked cute like that. He seemed so perfect all the time, but every so often Jesse noticed something about him that proved he was just as human as anyone else. It felt almost special, getting to see a side of Lukas that he clearly didn’t show just anyone.

Jesse could taste the question on his lips, but it wasn’t the right time yet. Instead, he peered over Lukas’ shoulder, looking at the soup. “How’s it looking?”

Lukas startled a bit, turning to look at Jesse. “Huh? Oh, uh…good, I think. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to look like,” he admitted. “It smells pretty good, though.”

Jesse took the spoon, taking a small sip. It tasted perfect, just the right amount of cheesy and creamy. He smiled, holding it out to Lukas. “Here, it’s perfect. Try some.”

Lukas hesitated slightly before taking a careful sip. His eyes widened. “Wow. That’s really good.”

“Right? I love making this when it’s really cold out. It’s a really good comfort soup.” He grabbed four bowls, serving the soup. “Plus, it makes the whole kitchen smell good.”

“Yeah,” Lukas said, his eyes fixed on the bowls as Jesse served. “It has been pretty cold.”

“I think it’s gonna snow more. That reminds me, I noticed you haven’t been wearing your jacket to work. Did something happen to it?”

Lukas looked away. His hand came up to rub his arm slightly. “It, uh…it got ruined. I’ll be okay, though. My sweaters are pretty warm.”

“Are you sure?” Jesse asked, glancing outside. “It’s been really cold out.”

He nodded. “I’ll be okay, really. Don’t worry.”

Jesse hummed slightly, wondering what could have happened to it. He didn’t like the idea of Lukas walking to work in the snow without a jacket. The image of him showing up at Jesse’s door that night flashed through his head. His skin had been freezing to the touch and he’d been shivering so badly. The memory still made Jesse’s heart ache.

“If you’re sure…” he murmured, setting the table as Lukas moved the cookies back to the counter. His mind drifted to one of the brightly wrapped packages tucked underneath his bed. It wouldn’t be a concern for much longer, he thought.

Lukas’ voice pulled him from his thoughts. “I was wondering if you and Axel and Olivia wanted to help decorate these. Uh…after dinner, I guess.”

Jesse smiled, nodding enthusiastically. “I’d love to! We usually decorate cookies on Christmas Eve anyway. It’ll be nice to have some homemade ones this year.”

Lukas smiled, too, the expression much softer. Jesse’s heart started to flutter again. Everything about Lukas was soft. 

Well…almost everything. Jesse thought of how bony his hands were, how sharply his collarbone had stood out when he was wearing Jesse’s too-big shirt. He couldn’t help but wonder if that’s why all of Lukas’ clothes tended to have higher collars.

“This’ll be a good opportunity to try some new stuff. Usually I’d just do it at work, but we’ve been getting a few more customers than usual lately. I don’t know if it’s just because of the season or if Stella’s ad is actually working.”

“That’s good, though, right?” he asked. “That means the bakery is doing better.”

“Yeah.” Lukas glanced at all of the cookies. “It’s good. It’s a lot, but it’s good.”

“Speaking of things that are good, the soup is ready. Could you get Axel and Olivia?” Jesse set the bowls on the table, watching the steam rise in wispy curls. Lukas gave him a thumbs-up and walked out, returning only a moment later with the two. 

“Broccoli cheddar soup? That’s perfect for this weather,” Olivia said, sitting down. “Thanks, Jesse.”

“And it looks like there are a bunch of cookies for after, too!” Axel grinned, eyeing the counter. “No wonder it smells so good.”

“Lukas said we could all decorate them after dinner. He made a gingerbread house and everything!” 

“Hopefully it stays standing this year,” Olivia said. “Our gingerbread houses usually look more like gingerbread demolition sites.”

Axel shrugged. “They taste a lot better than the ones at work, that’s for sure.”

“Well, we have a professional on our side this year.” Jesse smiled and looked at Lukas, whose ears were turning an adorable shade of pink. “He can teach us the gingerbread secrets after dinner.”

“I can start putting the house together now so it’ll be ready,” he offered. “That way it has a little more time for the icing to set.”

Jesse shook his head. “We could always decorate some of the other cookies while the icing sets. Your soup will get cold if you wait too long to start.”

Lukas hesitated a little, obviously unsure. Jesse smiled at him, gesturing toward the fourth bowl of soup and the empty seat next to him. He looked at the bowl for a moment before sitting down, stirring the soup around a little. He picked up a spoonful, blowing on it softly and eating it. 

Jesse turned back to his own bowl, satisfied and overjoyed that he’d convinced him to stay. It made him happy to see Lukas getting a little more comfortable with everyone.

The soup was delicious, if a little hot. The broccoli was just the right texture and the broth was creamy and smooth. Jesse couldn’t help but watch Lukas out of the corner of his eye, trying to see if he was enjoying it. He caught Olivia’s eye at one point and she raised an eyebrow, giving him a knowing look. He looked away, the heat rising in his cheeks rivaling the soup.

“So, Lukas,” she said, setting her spoon down in her empty bowl, “how long have you been baking?”

He glanced up, shrugging. “Since I was a kid. My mom and I would do it together and I always liked it. I guess I just kept going from there.”

She hummed a little. “That would explain why you’re so good at it.”

He smiled slightly, looking down at his soup. “Thanks. Would you be surprised if I said being a baker actually isn’t what I wanted to do when I got older?”

“Really?”

“Yep. I wanted to go into architecture. I just…didn’t get the chance.” His smile turned a little wistful as he stirred his soup around. “I also wanted to be an author for a little while, but my writing’s no good.”

“I’m sure it’s great,” Jesse said, finishing the last of his soup. “I’d love to read it sometime, if you have any.”

Lukas laughed a bit, his cheeks turning a little red. “Trust me, you don’t. I’ll just stick to baking.”

“So does that mean we’re gonna decorate those cookies now?” Axel asked. “It’s not Christmas Eve if we don’t decorate the cookies.”

“There’s still plenty of time,” Olivia pointed out. “At least let Lukas finish his dinner first.”

Jesse watched as he looked down at his half-finished bowl, shaking his head slightly. “No, no, I’m done. I was gonna save the rest for another time, anyway. It’s kind of a lot.”

“Are you sure?” Olivia asked. “You don’t have to stop just because Axel’s impatient.”

“Hey!”

“I’m sure.” He stood up, gathering everyone’s dishes and setting them in the sink before grabbing a container. He poured the soup into it and set his own dishes in the sink as well. He grabbed the tray with the pieces for the gingerbread house, setting it on the table. “I already filled one of the icing bags, but there’s a lot left over if you guys want to make extra colors.”

“Yeah! There’s a lot we have to decorate, after all,” Jesse said, putting Lukas’ container of soup into the fridge. He pulled out a few bowls and the box of food coloring. Olivia grabbed spoons, setting one in each bowl and spreading the icing between them evenly. Axel started digging around in the cabinet, pulling out different kinds of candy.

As Jesse started mixing the colors, he couldn’t help but glance over at Lukas every so often again. He was hunched over the table, carefully putting the pieces of the house together. He looked completely focused, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth just slightly. It was really cute.

“I think it’s mixed, Jesse,” Olivia said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He tore his gaze away from Lukas to see that she and Axel had already started to decorate some of the cookies.

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Right.” He set the bowl down. Olivia shook her head, laughing a bit as she went back to what she was doing.

“Done!” Lukas said after a few moments, taking a step back. There was a proud smile on his face and a smear of icing on his chin. 

“Whoa, it actually looks like a house!” Jesse leaned over to get a closer look. “There are little windows and everything!”

“This is really impressive. It looks like the pictures on the boxes, just without the candy.”

“So what are we waiting for?” Axel asked, setting a bowl of all the candy he’d gathered on the table. “This house won’t decorate itself!”

The four of them each picked a spot to decorate, careful not to get in each other’s way. Jesse brought some of the colored icing over as well, just for a bit of extra decoration. It seemed like a shame to cover so much of Lukas’ careful icing detailing, but he didn’t seem to mind. He looked like he was enjoying himself, a smile on his face as he arranged a path out of candy.

Jesse smiled to himself as well. He was glad Lukas got along with his friends. It made the idea of admitting his feelings a little less scary. Now he just had to find the right time. 

One by one, they finished their sections of the house. Jesse took a step back, admiring their handiwork. It was chaos—Axel’s section was an explosion of icing and candy, Olivia’s was neatly arranged with only the red candies in orderly rows, Lukas had made a little front yard, and Jesse had tried to arrange the candies nicely but only succeeded in smearing the icing around. 

“Well, it definitely doesn’t look like the pictures on the boxes anymore,” Olivia said, though there was a smile on her face. 

Lukas laughed a bit. “It’s certainly colorful.”

“I think it’s perfect.” Jesse took a picture of it, beaming. “Now all we need are the gingerbread men.”

“I’m totally gonna make myself. Gingerbread Axel would have the time of his life in a house like that!”

Jesse grinned, getting a perfect idea. He hoped he’d be able to pull it off. He wanted it to be a surprise.

A few icing-covered minutes later, he covered the cookies with a bowl, setting them aside. He smiled proudly, glancing over at his friends. Blue eyes met his and Lukas looked away quickly, turning back to the plate of beautifully decorated cookies in front of him. Jesse could swear his ears had gone pink.

They started to clean up, covering the rest of the cookies and washing the dishes. Slowly, the energy began to wind down. One by one, they started getting ready for bed, setting their gifts underneath the tree. Lukas sat on the sofa, watching them. There was an expression that Jesse couldn’t quite place on his face.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked, sitting next to him. 

Lukas shrugged, folding his hands in his lap. “I just feel bad that I didn’t get you guys anything. You’ve all been so nice to me.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. You’ve been through a lot lately.” Jesse rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “Besides, consider those cookies your gift to us. Decorating them was a lot of fun and I’m sure they’ll taste really good.”

He hummed softly. “I guess. It was pretty fun. Making that soup was nice, too, and it was really good.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” Jesse smiled, letting his hand linger on Lukas’ shoulder for a moment before standing up. He almost didn’t want to leave, but it was getting late. “You should get some sleep. Good night, Lukas.”

“Good night, Jesse.”

Jesse went to bed, curling up with an excited, fuzzy warmth in his chest. It had been a good night—cooking with Lukas and then decorating cookies with his friends. 

He closed his eyes, doing his best to get some sleep. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

Lukas had barely slept. 

Excitement and nervousness kept him awake for hours, staring at the gently blinking lights of the Christmas tree. They served as a kind of night light, reflecting in the shiny paper of the gifts arranged beneath. He still felt a little bad that he hadn’t been able to get anything for Jesse and his roommates, but they’d been very understanding. 

They’d been understanding about so much. He was incredibly grateful. 

Eventually, he’d managed to fall asleep, curled up beneath the thick blankets Jesse had given him as it got colder. He awoke a few hours later to see almost the exact same scene, except now Jesse was sitting cross-legged by the tree. The lights illuminated his excited smile, painting his handsome features in soft reds and blues and greens. 

Lukas couldn’t help a small smile of his own as he sat up. He kept his voice soft when he spoke, not wanting to disturb the moment. “You’re up early.”

Jesse glanced over, his eyes lighting up in a way that could rival the Christmas tree. “Lukas, hey! Merry Christmas! Sorry if I woke you up. I was excited.”

He shook his head, pushing the blankets off and standing up to stretch. “Merry Christmas. And you didn’t, don’t worry. Are the others still asleep?”

“Yeah. They get a few minutes before we get to go wake them up,” he said, grinning.

“They won’t get mad?”

“Nah, and especially not today. Christmas is fair game for waking each other up.”

Lukas hummed softly. He went to brush his teeth before coming back and sitting next to Jesse. He pulled one knee to his chest, his other leg stretched out in front of him. He watched Jesse from the corner of his eye, that small smile back on his face. Jesse looked so excited, those beautiful chocolate-brown eyes wide with a childlike wonder. He had his face propped up in his hands, squishing his cheeks a little. 

He was so cute. Lukas wanted to lean over, to take his hand or kiss his cheek or something, anything, just to be closer to him. He wanted to tell him how he felt. It was just the two of them, peaceful and quiet. 

He couldn’t bring himself to do it, though. Not now. 

“Merry Christmas, you two.” Olivia’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. They both echoed the greeting and she gestured behind her. “It’s time for the fun part.”

“All day is the fun part!” Jesse pointed out, jumping to his feet. He bounced in place a little as he waited for Lukas to get up, then led him and Olivia to the bedroom he shared with Axel. 

He was still asleep, snoring as loud as ever. Sometimes, Lukas wondered how Jesse could sleep with how loud Axel was. 

Jesse grinned, shaking him by the shoulder. “Hey, Axel! Wake up!” Axel mumbled something and rolled over, swatting in Jesse’s general direction. Lukas took a step back, watching in amusement as Jesse grabbed a pillow from his own bed and started lightly whacking Axel’s arm. “Come on!”

“It’s okay,” Olivia said, a grin of her own spreading across her face. “It just means we get to open his presents.”

“Nuh-uh!” That got Axel to sit up, taking the pillow from Jesse and smacking him with it in return. It wasn’t very forceful, if the way Jesse was laughing was any indication. Axel tossed the blankets off, getting up. “I’m up, I’m up. Let’s go.”

“Go brush your teeth,” Olivia said, nudging his arm as they walked out. “You know how it goes.”

He grumbled playfully, but he didn’t argue. They gathered in the living room again as they waited for him to get back. 

Lukas always enjoyed watching them just…be. It was incredibly clear from the way they treated each other that they’d been friends for a long time and they all cared deeply about each other. It was nice to see. A small part of him was almost jealous at how effortlessly they understood each other and got along, though the way they had so quickly welcomed him into their circle was enough to quiet that little voice. 

These people had only known him for a short time and yet they treated him like he’d been their friend for years. They made him feel welcome—like he belonged. He was beyond grateful for that.

He was pulled from his thoughts as Axel plopped down on the floor on Jesse’s other side. “We can start now, right?”

“Yes, Axel,” Olivia said, fighting a smile. She grabbed a present wrapped in shiny green paper and handed it to him. “We’re starting now.” 

Lukas watched as they all handed each other brightly wrapped gifts and began tearing into them. He felt a twinge of guilt again, but he reminded himself of what Jesse had said the night before. The cookies were his gift to them.

“This one’s for you,” Jesse said, holding a clumsily-wrapped present out to him. The paper was crinkled and taped in odd places and patterned with little Christmas cookies. “It’s from all of us.”

His eyes went wide as he took the gift. “Y-you didn’t have to—”

“We wanted to,” he assured. Olivia nodded, smiling, and Axel gave him a thumbs-up.

“Thank you,” Lukas said, voice soft. He carefully pulled at the wrapping, almost afraid to tear such pretty paper even if it was already ruined in places. His breath caught in his throat as he pulled the contents out.

It was a new leather jacket. It looked almost exactly like his old one, just without the patch on the back. He looked back up at Jesse, who had a huge smile on his face. He pointed back at the paper. “There’s more.”

Lukas blinked in surprise, picking the paper back up and shaking it slightly. Two items fell into his lap. The first was a small blue rock, and the second was a little candle. He picked it up, looking at the label. Vanilla scented.

“Thank you,” he repeated, a fuzzy warmth spreading through his chest. He couldn’t stop smiling. “I love all of it.”

He pulled the jacket on immediately, the feeling of it somehow both comfortingly familiar and something entirely new. He opened the little candle jar, sniffing it and then holding it out for the others to smell, even though they likely already had. He studied the rock carefully, turning it over in his hand and watching the way it caught the light. 

“I didn’t know what rock to give you, but Jesse said that one matched your eyes or something,” Axel said, shrugging. Lukas felt his ears go warm as he looked at Jesse, whose face was turning red. 

“Well, it does,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s almost the same shade.”

Lukas looked down at the rock. It was a gorgeous color, a deep blue that reminded him of the ocean. Did his eyes really look like that?

“Thank you,” he said again. He wasn’t sure what else to say, really—all he could think about was how sweet these people were. 

“We’re glad you like it. It’s been nice getting to know you,” Olivia said with a smile of her own as she started cleaning the wrapping paper from the floor.

“Same to all of you.” He rubbed the rock between his fingers. It was smooth and it felt nice. He’d have to find a good place to put it, but for now he set it on the coffee table next to his candle. “I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Of course. I’m glad you came to stay here, even if the circumstances weren’t the best.” Jesse smiled at him, standing up. He offered his hand, pulling Lukas to his feet when he took it. His face was still a little red.  “I have one more thing to give you, but we have to go have breakfast.”

“Finally! I’ve been looking forward to that gingerbread house all night!” Axel got up, grinning, and they all made their way to the kitchen. Lukas watched curiously as Jesse grabbed the plate of cookies he’d decorated the night before. He’d seen him working on them, but Jesse had been careful about keeping what they were hidden. He uncovered it, holding the plate out to Lukas with a shy smile.

There were two gingerbread men on it. One was short, with familiar messy hair, bright green suspenders, and a goofy grin, and the other was taller, with blond hair and an apron. There was icing all over the plate and they were incredibly messy, but he could still recognize what Jesse had been trying to do.

“Is…is that us?” he asked, eyes wide as he covered his mouth. 

Jesse nodded enthusiastically, a beaming smile on his face. “I know they’re not perfect, but I thought it was a cute idea.”

Lukas’ heart melted like warm butter. “They’re adorable,” he murmured. “It’s almost a shame to eat them.”

“I’m glad you like them. And don’t worry, I already took a picture of them. They’re cookies, they’re meant to be eaten.” 

“I guess that’s true,” he said, looking at them again. The grin on the Jesse cookie matched the one on the real Jesse’s face almost perfectly. He was so cute. “Thank you.”

He took the cookie made to resemble himself, studying the messy icing features. It was obvious Jesse had put great care into it, right down to the cuffs of his jeans and the way his hair was usually styled. 

He took a careful bite, cupping his hand underneath to catch any crumbs. The icing kind of overpowered the gingerbread flavor a little, but it still tasted good. 

Jesse was much less cautious, biting the head off of the cookie decorated like him. Crumbs rained down onto the plate. “Never thought I’d taste so good,” he joked. 

Lukas laughed a little. “Well, you’re both sweet,” he said, trying to ignore the way his ears went hot. What was he saying?

Jesse’s face went a bit red again, a dazed little smile on his face as he took another bite. “So are you,” he mumbled through a mouthful of cookie. 

He didn’t know what to say to that, his ears only going warmer. Ohh, goodness. He had to get it together.

Luckily, Olivia filled the slightly awkward silence. “What time is your sister coming to pick you up?”

“Around lunchtime. It’s kind of a long drive to her dads’ place,” he said, finishing his cookie. 

“You’ll be able to meet my parents, then! They’re coming for lunch, but they always end up getting here early.” Jesse smiled, dusting the crumbs off of his hands. 

“I should probably get dressed if I want to make a good first impression.” He was only partially joking. Besides, it would save time so he didn’t keep Petra waiting later.

“I’m sure they’ll like you whether you’re all dressed up or not. Dad can seem a little scary sometimes, but he’s a big softie,” Jesse assured him. “Just don’t tell him I said that.”

“Noted,” Lukas said. “Do you mind if I take some of these cookies along for Petra’s dads? I’d feel bad showing up empty-handed.”

“Why would we mind? You made them,” Olivia pointed out. “You can do what you want with them. Besides, if you don’t take now, they’ll all be gone by later.” She glanced at Axel, who was trying to pry the other half of the roof off of the gingerbread house. 

Lukas shrugged, grabbing a container and putting a few cookies into it. He arranged them neatly, though he knew they would most likely have shifted around from the ride by the time he actually gave them to Petra’s dads. “Thank you anyway.”

Once he was satisfied with the arrangement, he closed the container, careful not to squish anything. He’d have to look for a ribbon to tie around it. He set it on the coffee table next to his gifts. He couldn’t help but smile again as he saw them. These people were so kind to him.

He grabbed the outfit he’d picked for the occasion—a red sweater and button-down with nice jeans—and went to change. It had become tradition that every Christmas, he would wear red and Petra would wear green. It had been accidental at first, but they’d decided to stick with it. 

He studied himself in the bathroom mirror as he did his hair, his gaze drifting to his own eyes over and over. He thought of the little blue rock. Now that he was looking…it was a very similar color. The thought that Jesse had helped Axel pick the rock for that reason brought the familiar fuzzy warmth back.

Lukas pulled the new jacket back on and turned from the mirror with a small smile. 

He caught sight of the container of cookies and grabbed the scissors and one of the leftover rolls of ribbon. He tied a bow around it, doing his best to make it look even. He set Petra’s gift next to it. He was glad he’d bought it as soon as he saw it instead of waiting until he was doing his Christmas shopping—something he hadn’t gotten to do with the way the past month had been.

He put the ribbon back and sat down, just watching the slow blink of the Christmas lights for a while. He could hear the others still talking in the kitchen. Dewey wandered over, rubbing against his legs, and he pet him with a little smile.

Eventually, there was a loud knock at the door. Jesse rushed past, nearly tripping over his own feet in his excitement. He threw the door open and Lukas could hear him exclaim, “Mom! Dad! Come in, come in!”

Lukas stood up as they walked in. He waved a little as Jesse led them in, smiling brightly. “This is Lukas! Lukas, these are my parents!”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Harper.” She offered her hand with a warm smile of her own and Lukas shook it. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too. Jesse talks about both of you a lot as well.”

“So you’re the bakery boy,” his father said, looking Lukas up and down. “Louie, was it?”

“Lukas.”

“Yes, yes, that.” He turned to Jesse again, speaking in what was probably meant to be a whisper but was still very much audible. “So, have you told him yet?”

Jesse’s face went red as he replied in a poorly-maintained whisper of his own. “No, not yet, shush!”

Lukas tilted his head in confusion, looking between them. Harper sighed. “Don’t mind them. That’s Ivor, by the way, since he didn’t introduce himself.”

He nodded, glancing between them. Jesse’s face was still red, but that beaming smile was back. Lukas couldn’t help a small smile of his own as he watched. 

“I’d tell him soon, if I were you,” Harper said softly, startling him. His ears went hot and she laughed a bit at his shocked expression. “It’s written all over your face. I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed.”

Lukas was pretty sure he’d be able to bake cookies on his face if his cheeks got any hotter. Luckily, he was spared from further embarrassment as Olivia and Axel walked in. “Harper! It’s so good to see you again!”

Harper smiled, giving them both a hug. Lukas slipped away, grabbing Dewey as he started trying to chew on the Christmas tree.

“You have a food bowl, silly,” he muttered, setting the cat down in the kitchen. “It’s not empty.”

He glanced back at the living room, hearing the sound of talking and laughter. He knelt down, petting Dewey slowly as the cat started eating. 

He couldn’t wait to see Petra. The more he listened to them having fun, the more it hit him just how much he missed her. His mom had moved out of the city to live with his grandparents once he’d grown up, so he didn’t see her very often and they only called occasionally. Petra was the closest thing to family he had left at this point. 

His phone buzzed, almost as if on cue. He looked at the screen, smiling. 

‘Hey loser, I’m outside,’ it said, accompanied by a blurry photo of the front of the building with her thumbs-up in front of it. He laughed a bit, sending a smiley face in return and getting to his feet.

Jesse looked up as he walked in and grabbed his things from the coffee table. “Hey, Lukas. You’re going?”

“Yeah, Petra’s outside. I’ll see you guys later.” He looked at Jesse’s parents and smiled. “It was nice meeting you. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas. Be careful out there, okay?”

He nodded, waving and making sure he had everything before making his way outside. He couldn’t stop smiling, excitement making him walk faster.

Petra was leaning against her motorcycle, watching the building. She smiled when saw him. “Hey, Lukas.”

“Petra!” He set the gifts down and hugged her, smiling wider. She returned the hug, patting his upper back before pulling away. “It’s so good to see you again.”

“You too,” she said. “Nice jacket, by the way.”

“Thanks. Jesse got it for me. I guess since I, uh…stopped wearing the other one.” 

“Jesse, huh? Well, that was sweet. It looks good on you.”

“Thanks,” he repeated, looking down at the jacket with a smile. It was really comfortable.

“So, any conveniently placed mistletoe?” she teased, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

His face warmed as he ducked out of the way. “Petra!”

She laughed, pulling her helmet on and handing him the spare. “C’mon, we have a long drive. We can catch up when we get to my dads’ place.”

He got on behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He didn’t really like riding on her motorcycle, but it was better than Aiden’s car had ever been.

Petra’s dads lived almost on the other side of the city, which was why Lukas didn’t see them very often anymore. It was always nice to visit, though—he’d spent so much time at their house as a teenager that it almost felt like going home.

“I’m back,” Petra called as she pushed the door open. “And guess who I brought with me!”

Lukas had barely walked into the house before he was being crushed in a hug. “Lukas! It’s great to see you again!”

“It’s great to see you, too, Jack,” he wheezed, attempting to return the hug.

“Dad, you’re crushing him,” Petra laughed. “Put him down.”

“Sorry, sorry. Just got excited there.” Jack let go, chuckling fondly. “You’re just in time. Nurmie just finished making the pie.”

“Yes!” Petra cheered, running toward the kitchen. Nurm’s pumpkin pie was the highlight of the dinner. Lukas set his gifts under the tree and followed her.

The whole kitchen smelled wonderful. The food was spread out across the table, most of it still steaming. Nurm was by the sink, drying the last few dishes. He turned around, smiling when he saw them. Lukas waved, returning the smile. 

Nurm didn't speak any English, though he understood the language fine. Lukas had spent enough time around him to understand a little bit, but Jack usually translated for him, adding his own commentary sometimes. It led to a lot of laughing and teasing, especially when it was obvious Jack was just making things up for fun. 

They always seemed so happy. The three of them had always been close. It was sweet to watch, though some part of Lukas had always felt a little left out. He was close with Petra, and Jack and Nurm clearly liked him, but he wasn’t part of their family. Not really. 

“Everything looks so good,” Petra said, hugging Nurm. “I always miss your cooking when I’m away.”

“And we miss you.” Jack ruffled her hair, earning him a swat and some laughter. “Thanksgiving wasn’t the same without the two of you here.”

The wording caught Lukas’ attention. ‘Without the two of you here.’ He thought about what Jesse had said about family the night before. How family wasn’t always by blood. 

He knew that Petra considered him family. Did Jack and Nurm really think of him like that, too?

“Yeah…I wish I could have made it back. But we’re here today, so let’s make the most of that.” She grinned and slung an arm around Lukas’ shoulders, startling him from his thoughts. “I know Lukas certainly has news.” 

“Nurm says we can talk about everything while we eat,” Jack said as his husband handed each of them a plate. “Help yourselves.”

Lukas looked at the food spread out across the table. Nurm made the same things every year, so it made it easier to know what he wanted to take. They all sat down, serving their food.

Despite her teasing tone about Lukas’ news, it was Petra who started off the dinner’s conversation. She talked about her travels, about all of the interesting places and people she’d seen. Lukas loved hearing about where she’d been, and he recognized some of the places she was describing from the pictures she’d sent him.

“…and while we were talking about their cool metal jewelry, this guy with a metal arm showed up. I think he was their boyfriend or something because then they had to go. I wish I could’ve asked for a picture or something because that arm was so awesome.”

“Whoa. Do you think they wore metal to match his arm?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t ask. I just know the guy was a little scary-looking when he walked in, but his expression immediately softened when he saw them.”

“That’s what people used to say about me and Nurmie,” Jack said, smiling proudly. It quickly switched to indignant spluttering as he turned to his husband. “People thought I was scary! The eyepatch makes me look mysterious and you know it!”

Petra rolled her eyes fondly. “Dad, come on. Anyone who’s known you for more than five seconds knows you’re a big softie.”

“Like father, like daughter,” Lukas said, earning a light punch to the arm. He laughed a little, rubbing the spot. “You know I’m right. You didn’t even punch hard.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s your bad arm, dummy. I’m not trying to actually hurt you.”

“I know, I know. Proving my point.” He leaned away, snorting as she swatted at him again.

“Whatever! Don’t you have stuff to talk about?” she huffed, though she was smiling, too.

“Yeah, what’s this news?” Jack asked, turning his attention back to the conversation.

Lukas looked down at his plate, pushing the last bits of food around. Where did he even start? “Well, uh…I don’t live with Aiden anymore.”

“Finally,” Petra muttered under her breath.

“I never liked him much, either,” Jack agreed, glancing at Nurm. “Did something happen? Do you have a place to stay?”

“It’s…it’s a long story. But I’ve been staying with my, uh…” He faltered slightly, not sure how to describe Jesse. Friend? Crush? It felt strange to think of him like that, even if Lukas knew it was true. “Well, I met this guy at the bakery and we got really close. I’ve been staying with him and his roommates,” he settled on eventually. “They’re all really nice.”

Jack nodded, rubbing at his beard with a scarred hand. “Good, good. What’s this guy’s name? It seems like there’s a story here.”

Lukas nodded, recounting how they’d met, how he’d fallen, and how he’d come to live with him as they finished eating. He was occasionally interrupted for commentary, mostly from Petra. 

When he’d finished, Jack and Nurm were both quiet for a moment, sharing a look before Jack spoke. “It’s good that you found this guy and got away from Aiden. And we want you to know that if you ever need a place to stay for any reason, you can call us any time and we’ll come get you.”

Lukas blinked, a little surprised at that. “But you live all the way on the other side of the city. I couldn’t…I couldn’t ask you to drive all that way just for me.”

“Lukas,” Jack started, voice firm as he rested a hand on his shoulder, “I mean it. If you ever need us, just call. I can’t stand the thought of not being there to help one of my kids.”

“One of your…?” he trailed off, eyes wide. Jack’s hand was warm, steady in its grip. His good eye was focused right on Lukas, something caring and gentle in his stare. 

“You’re like family to us, kid,” he said. “You’re Petra’s brother, and that makes you our son.”

Lukas sat completely frozen for a few seconds. Their son. They thought of him like a son. 

Jack opened his arms, a clear invitation. Lukas hugged him tightly, with Petra and Nurm joining in soon after. He closed his eyes, letting their warmth surround him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered finally, afraid to speak any louder and lose the shaky control he had over his emotions. He pulled away, smiling as he wiped his eyes. “That…really means a lot.”

“Of course. Now come on, these presents won’t open themselves!” Jack gave him one last pat on the back before getting up, leading them out of the kitchen. 

Lukas couldn’t stop smiling, an overwhelming happiness filling his chest. The four of them exchanged gifts, talking and laughing and joking around. Petra gave him a box of recipe cards so he could “stop using that tattered old notebook,” as she said, and Jack and Nurm had bought him a pair of fuzzy socks and some nice colored pens.

Eventually, though, the time came for them to start saying their goodbyes. Nurm gave him some pie to take back home and they all shared one last hug before Lukas and Petra got on her motorcycle for the long drive. 

Despite the night’s chill, he still felt warm, and he kept smiling the whole way home. 

“I’ll see you again soon,” Petra said as she parked outside. “I’m staying with my dads for a little while before going off again, so we have to hang out at some point.”

“I’d like that.” He smiled, handing her the spare helmet and giving her one last hug. “Bye, Petra. I’ll see you then.”

“Merry Christmas. Love you.”

“I love you, too. Merry Christmas. Be safe on your way home.” He pulled away, waving as she gave him a thumbs-up and drove off. He watched for a while before turning and going inside.

The apartment was dark when he walked in, lit only by the soft glow of the Christmas tree. Jesse was sitting on the couch, and he looked up as Lukas got closer. 

“Hey,” he said quietly. “You’re up late.”

“I wanted to wait for you. I wanna hear about your night.” He smiled up at him, the lights reflecting in those beautiful brown eyes. 

Lukas couldn’t help a little smile of his own. “Okay. And I want to hear about yours, but let me take a quick shower first. If you don’t mind waiting a little longer, that is.”

Jesse shook his head, settling back against the couch again. “I don’t mind.”

Lukas grabbed a pair of pajamas and headed to the bathroom. He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror as he was getting ready. His hair was a mess both from being ruffled so much and from wearing the motorcycle helmet and his cheeks and nose were still a little red from the cold, but there was a sparkle in his eyes as well. It had been a really good day, he decided as he let the warm water wash over him and chase away the residual chill. 

True to his word, it wasn’t long before he joined Jesse back on the couch, dressed in his softest pajamas. Jesse smiled again as he sat down. 

“Mom and Dad said to tell you those cookies were delicious,” he said. “They took some home.”

“That’s good to know. I’m glad they liked them.”

Jesse nodded, stifling a yawn. “I’m glad they like you.”

“They do?”

“Yeah. They thought you were sweet. Like cookies,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He was clearly tired, the events of the day starting to catch up to him.

He was about to suggest he just go to bed and they could talk in the morning when he felt Jesse shift closer, his head resting on Lukas’ shoulder. 

Lukas nearly forgot how to breathe. 

He thought of that morning, how they’d been sitting in the dark just like this with nothing but the light of the tree illuminating the room. How badly he’d wanted to reach out. 

So he did. 

Slowly, he lowered his head, resting his cheek in Jesse’s hair. He breathed a slightly shaky sigh, smiling a little and listening as Jesse started to snore, his cheek squished against Lukas’ shoulder and a peaceful little smile on his face. 

“Merry Christmas, Jesse,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around him carefully. He closed his eyes, and eventually the peace of the night and Jesse’s warmth lulled him to sleep.

Chapter Text

New Year’s came and went with only a small celebration. 

Lukas made brownies and they stayed up playing board games, talking and laughing and having fun. Things went back to normal after that, work continuing like it had never stopped in the first place. Jesse was proud of the progress they’d made with the construction project, but part of him missed being at home. At least there were usually baked goods on the counter when he got back.

He was a little worried about how much Lukas had been baking lately, even more than before the holidays. He’d brushed it off every time Jesse asked, though, saying it was just a bit of work stress. Apparently things had been picking up lately, the bakery actually starting to get more customers. 

Aside from that, things were mostly the same as before. Jesse would visit during his break, he’d buy something, they would talk for a while, and then he’d have to go back to work. It was nice. Familiar. 

About a week passed before that routine was interrupted. 

The first strange thing was that Jesse’s phone was ringing at work. No one ever called him at work unless it was an emergency. Luckily, it was right at the start of his break, so he could take the call.

It was a little worrying to see Lukas’ name light the screen. It was even more worrying to hear Nell’s voice when he picked up. 

“Jesse?”

“Nell? What’s up, is everything okay?”

“Uh…not really. Can you, like, come pick Lukas up or something? I don’t think he’s doing too great.”

Jesse’s heart dropped into his stomach. “What?”

There was shuffling on the other end and Lukas’ voice saying “I’m fine, Nell, seriously!” before she continued. 

“He, like, almost passed out. I don’t know if he’s sick or what, but it’s probably better if he goes home, you know?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jesse said, already gathering his things. “I’ll be right there.”

“Thanks, dude. I’ll keep an eye on him for you.”

The phone beeped softly as she hung up. Jesse finished gathering his things as Lizzie walked into the break room. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked. “You seem worried.”

He shook his head. “Can you let the others know I have to go and I don’t think I’ll be back today? It’s an emergency.”

“Of course, go on. I’m sure they’ll understand. I hope everything’s alright.”

“I do, too. Thanks, Lizzie, bye,” he said, already running off. He was glad the bakery wasn’t too far from the construction site. 

He should have noticed something was off sooner. Lukas had been a lot quieter than usual that morning, blaming it on being tired, but Jesse was almost sure he had noticed a tremble in his hands, an unsteadiness in his steps. He would have asked about it, but Lukas was gone before he had the chance. 

Jesse was out of breath by the time he pushed the glass door open, the little bell’s cheery jingling a sharp contrast to the worry settled in his chest. There were a few customers and they gave him odd glances before going back to whatever they were doing. Jesse approached a very frazzled-looking Radar, who was cleaning behind the counter with even more nervous energy than usual. He jumped slightly when he noticed Jesse. 

“Jesse! Thank goodness you’re here. They’re in the back,” he said, his voice filled with worry as he gestured to the double doors behind him. 

“Thanks, Radar,” he said, trying for a smile as he passed. The kitchen was empty, which meant they must have been through the door that led to the break room. 

Sure enough, when Jesse pushed it open, he saw Lukas sitting in one of the chairs with Nell next to him, rubbing his back a little. She looked up at the sound of the door opening. 

“Lukas? What happened?” Jesse asked, kneeling down in front of him so he could meet his eyes. Lukas only shrugged slightly, looking away from Jesse. Worry squeezed his heart and he glanced over at Nell instead. 

“One second he was powdering doughnuts and the next he was on the floor with powdered sugar everywhere. It was kinda freaky, dude,” Nell said, a bit of worry in her usually laid-back demeanor. “He won’t say what happened, though.”

“Well…thanks for staying with him,” he said, trying again for a smile. He hoped it came across more solid than he felt. Lukas was sitting in that chair like a scolded child and Jesse was almost sure he was shaking slightly. 

“Yeah, of course. Just…make sure he’s okay, yeah?”

“I will.” He stood up, offering his hand. Lukas took it, still avoiding Jesse’s eyes as he helped him up. His fingers were cold to the touch despite the warmth of the break room. “See you, Nell.”

She handed Lukas his bag and his jacket, which he pulled on silently. “Bye, guys. Feel better, Lukas.” 

His only reply was a slight nod. Jesse led him out to the front, giving Radar a small wave on the way out. He returned the wave with a worried smile. 

Once they were outside, Lukas finally spoke, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry about this.”

Jesse shook his head, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay. What happened?”

He still wouldn’t meet Jesse’s eyes. “I just tripped. I’m fine.”

“Lukas, you’re trembling like a leaf,” he murmured. 

“It’s cold.”

Jesse wrapped an arm around him, pulling him a little closer as they walked. He still didn’t buy the excuse, but he figured it was better to wait until they were home to really ask questions. “I’ll make you some cocoa when we get home.”

The rest of the walk was silent, a million worries running through Jesse’s head. He wanted to scoop Lukas up, to carry him the rest of the way home and keep him warm, but he had a feeling Lukas wouldn’t let him. He kept his eyes down and Jesse wished more than anything that he could see inside his head, see what was troubling him and how to fix it.

He stumbled a little on the stairs and Jesse tightened his grip on him slightly. “Sorry. My foot slipped.”

“It’s okay.” He kept his voice soft. “I’ve got you.”

The door to the apartment was unlocked since Olivia was home. Jesse pushed it open, setting their bags down and sitting Lukas on the couch. Dewey immediately hopped up next to him, settling on his lap. 

Jesse draped a blanket over Lukas’ trembling shoulders. There was powdered sugar in his hair and Jesse was immediately reminded of the snow the night Lukas had shown up outside his door. His heart ached at the thought. 

“Just take it easy, okay? Lie down if you feel like you need to. I’ll be right back with the cocoa.”

Lukas only nodded, the motion barely perceptible. He looked paler than usual and there was a look on his face that Jesse couldn’t read. 

He sighed softly, the worry settling heavier in his chest as he went to the kitchen. He washed the dirt from his hands before grabbing a mug, taking a small amount of comfort in the familiarity of making cocoa. Milk, chocolate, marshmallows, whipped cream, sprinkles. Just the way Lukas liked it. 

He carried the warm mug back to the living room, holding it out to Lukas. “It’s still pretty hot, so be careful.”

“Thank you.” He took it carefully, the liquid rippling a bit as his hands continued to tremble. There was a little bit of dirt on one of his hands from where Jesse had held it earlier. Now that he was looking, there really was powdered sugar all over him. Smudges littered his clothes and skin, and some fell from his hair every time he shifted. 

Jesse hesitated before reaching out to brush a particularly large smudge from Lukas’ pale cheek. He pulled his hand back as he felt him flinch slightly. “Sorry, I just—“

“It’s okay,” Lukas murmured, staring into the mug of cocoa. “Your hand was just warm and I wasn’t expecting it.”

Jesse nodded and folded his hands in his lap, resisting the urge to just hold Lukas close until he felt better. He looked exhausted. Had he been sleeping alright? 

They sat in silence as Lukas slowly took sips of his cocoa. His trembling had slowed a bit, though it wasn’t completely gone. Dewey left at some point, probably looking for somewhere more peaceful to nap. 

“So, uh…” Jesse started, a little hesitantly. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” Lukas muttered, setting the half-empty mug on the table. 

“Lukas…”

“Can we just drop it?” he asked, a hint of something brittle and tired in his voice. “Please?”

“Lukas, come on. I got a call at work that you almost passed out. I can’t just pretend it never happened.”

He folded his arms, curling into himself slightly. “Why not? I’m fine now.”

“You’re not,” Jesse murmured, his voice still soft. He didn’t want to make things worse by being too forceful. “Please, talk to me. I just want to help.”

Lukas didn’t answer that time. He stayed looking away from Jesse, his eyes fixed on the edge of the coffee table. The silence felt heavy, almost suffocating. 

It was broken by a low growl, and the way Lukas’ face went pink said everything Jesse needed to know. His heart sank as the pieces finally clicked into place. 

“Lukas,” he started, like he was talking to a scared cat, “when was the last time you had something to eat?”

He was silent for a few long moments. Then, quietly: “I had some crackers yesterday.”

Jesse’s heart sank further. “Lukas—”

“Don’t,” he said, and he sounded so, so tired. “Please. I can’t do this right now.”

Jesse reached out slowly, carefully resting a hand on Lukas’ shoulder. He could feel the tension in his body, the way he was still shaking a bit. He was almost sure he heard his breath catch for a second.

He didn’t want to push him too far, but he also couldn’t just drop the subject. Not for something like this.

“Talk to me,” he murmured, making sure to keep his voice the same gentle, quiet tone. “I want to help.”

Lukas didn’t answer for several seconds. When he did speak, there was the slightest tremble to his words. “I can’t do this, Jesse. I appreciate your concern, I just…it’s fine. I’m fine.” His nails dug into his arms as he curled into himself a little tighter. He stayed staring at his lap, his bangs falling in front of his eyes.

“You don’t have to be.” Jesse rubbed his thumb along Lukas’ shoulder slowly. “It’s okay if you aren’t sometimes.”

He went silent again, though the quiet, almost shuddering breath confirmed that he’d heard Jesse. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Powdered sugar fell from his hair like snow. Jesse moved his hand to his back, rubbing it in slow, steady movements. 

“It’s just hard to watch someone you love be in so much pain,” he said softly, reaching out with his other hand to brush Lukas’ bangs aside. His breath hitched again and he finally turned his head to look at Jesse. His eyes were wide, swirling with several emotions that Jesse couldn’t place. His voice was hardly above a whisper when he spoke.

“...you love me?”

Jesse froze, his own words replaying in his head. Oh. Oh, he had said it. He hadn’t even realized. He hadn’t even really meant to—not now, at least. 

And yet…it felt right, somehow. Like this was the moment. 

“Yeah,” he breathed, meeting his eyes. He reached out, taking Lukas’ cold, trembling hands in his own. “Yeah, I do.”

“How long?” he asked, his voice unsteady.

“Since I first saw you, but I didn’t realize that’s what it was until a few weeks ago.” He gave his hands a gentle squeeze. “I…I understand if you don’t—”

“I do,” he said before Jesse could get much further. There was something almost like desperation in his eyes, like he’d needed to hear this just as much as Jesse had needed to say it. 

He echoed Lukas’ question. “How long?”

“Do…do you remember the first time we went to the park? I tripped and you reached out and caught me.” He smiled, though it wavered at the edges. “You didn’t even hesitate.”

“Of course not. I didn’t want you to fall.”

“Well…I did.” He laughed softly, tears welling in his beautiful blue eyes. “I fell so hard that day.”

Jesse gave Lukas’ shaking hands another little squeeze. His hands were always so cold. Jesse wanted nothing more than to warm him up, to hold him close until he wasn’t cold anymore. He didn’t want to move too fast, though—he could already tell that Lukas was a little overwhelmed and he didn’t want to make him feel worse.

“I just don’t understand,” he said, his watery gaze meeting Jesse’s again. “What do you even see in me?”

“What do I see in you?” Jesse repeated, surprised by the question. “Lukas, what are you talking about?”

“I’m just…plain.” He looked away. “I’m not particularly interesting and I have so many problems. I’m nothing special.”

“Nothing special?” Jesse said incredulously, his heart aching. He couldn’t believe Lukas didn’t see how wonderful he was. “Lukas, you’re amazing. You’re so smart and funny and sweet. You always make me smile and you’re really talented and you care so much all the time. You have a pretty smile and an adorable laugh and you’re so, so beautiful. You’re—”

He was cut off, freezing as trembling hands cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss.

It ended just as abruptly as it started when Lukas pulled away, eyes wide. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t…I just—”

“Don’t be,” Jesse whispered, and pulled him back in, resting one hand on his cheek and the other in his soft hair.

Oh, wowie.

Kissing Lukas was everything Jesse had imagined it would be. His lips were cold and a little chapped, but he was so gentle. So soft and sweet.

Jesse pulled away as he felt something wet hit his hand. He made a soft noise as he saw the tears rolling down Lukas’ cheeks, moving to hold his face with both hands.

“Oh, Lukas…” he murmured, heart aching further as blue eyes squeezed shut again. He pressed his face into Jesse’s hands as much as he could and Jesse rubbed his thumbs back and forth, slowly wiping the tears away.

“Sorry,” he choked out, his voice breaking. “Didn’t…didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”

“You didn’t, it’s okay.” Jesse carefully pulled him into a hug. Lukas buried his face in Jesse’s shoulder, his arms wrapping around him in return. “It’s all gonna be okay.”

He held him close, rubbing his back and slowly rocking back and forth as Lukas cried. He seemed much less panicked than the last time they’d been in this position, though Jesse could tell this distress was something that had been building up for a while, and he had a terrible feeling it was much longer than just the past few weeks. His chest ached at the thought and he held him a little tighter. 

He pressed a soft, hesitant kiss to the top of Lukas’ head as his tears began to slow. “Whatever’s wrong, I’m here for you,” he said softly. 

Lukas lifted his face slightly, watery eyes meeting Jesse’s. He reached a hand out to brush the tears from his cheeks again, offering a small, hopefully comforting smile. Lukas leaned into the touch with a soft sniffle. “Thank you. I’m…I-I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For all of this.” His voice was still a little wobbly. “You left work early and you were probably really worried and I wasn’t exactly being cooperative.” He turned his eyes away, though he didn’t pull back. Jesse rubbed his thumb back and forth slowly. 

“I was worried, yeah, but I’m just glad to know you’re safe. And hey, it got us to finally talk about liking each other, right?”

Lukas hummed softly, settling against Jesse’s side. “I guess that’s true. You’re always looking on the bright side, huh?”

He shrugged, wrapping an arm around him. “For as much bad as there is in the world, there’s always good, too. You know what they say. Life is like a box of chocolates, and all that.”

He laughed a bit, and even though it was shaky, the sound was beautiful. “If life is like a box of chocolates, I think mine might be melting.”

“That’s okay. Melted chocolate is still chocolate.” He rubbed his hand up and down Lukas’ arm, the mug on the table catching his eye. “Speaking of which, your cocoa’s probably cold by now. Why don’t we have lunch and I’ll reheat it for you?”

He felt Lukas tense up slightly at the suggestion. “I’m not…” He trailed off, looking down at his lap. He was quiet for a few seconds before he sighed. “Okay. Let’s…let’s do that.”

Jesse gave him a gentle squeeze before standing up, grabbing the half-finished mug of cocoa as he passed. “Alright.” He hesitated a little before pressing a kiss to his forehead. Lukas’ eyes went wide, the tips of his ears going pink. Jesse felt the same warmth rise in his own cheeks, but he smiled. “You just take it easy.”

He turned and went to the kitchen, feeling a little like he might explode. He’d kissed Lukas. Lukas had kissed him. If the circumstances had been different, he might have cheered. He wasn’t sure what all this meant—were they boyfriends now?—but he knew they would figure it out later. Right now, he had something bigger to worry about.

He reheated the cocoa and set both of their lunches on the table. Since they’d both packed food for work that morning, he didn’t have to worry about any extra time spent preparing anything. The sooner he got Lukas to eat something, the better.

The signs had been there all along. He usually avoided eating with everyone else, he always packed the same lunch, he hardly touched the leftovers Jesse set aside for him…now that he was thinking about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually seen him eat anything. His heart sank. He should have said something sooner. 

Well. He’d just have to be more careful now. 

He poked his head back into the living room. “Lunch is ready. How are you feeling?”

Lukas shrugged, setting the blanket aside. He stood up carefully, reaching out to grab the arm of the sofa. “I’m…I’ve been better,” he muttered, bringing a hand up to his forehead. 

Jesse wasn’t sure if he was actually swaying or if he was just imagining it, but he still walked over and wrapped an arm around his waist. He couldn’t help but think of the harsh lines of his collarbone, the sharpness to his otherwise soft features. He held him a little closer. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” 

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s okay.” He led him to the kitchen, gently sitting him in one of the chairs. He dusted a bit of powdered sugar off of his shoulder. “You should change into something clean and comfortable after lunch.”

“Yeah.” He looked like he was about to say something else, but he stopped himself. “Thank you.”

Jesse nodded, sitting down across from him. He took a bite of his sandwich, glad they were having lunch. He’d been getting hungry, and he could only imagine how Lukas felt. His heart twisted at the thought he might be used to it.

“So…” he started slowly, watching as Lukas picked his own sandwich up and just stared at it. “Can we talk about it? What happened?”

“It…it doesn’t usually get this bad. The dizziness usually passes after a few seconds,” he mumbled after a few moments, and the words only strengthened the ache in Jesse’s chest. He didn’t say anything, though, letting Lukas continue. “This time…it didn’t go away. I thought I could just finish powdering the doughnuts and go take my break, but…well. You know.” 

He took a small bite of his sandwich and Jesse felt a little bit of the worry start to fade. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. “Has this happened before?”

“Not at work.” He stayed looking at the sandwich, not meeting Jesse’s eyes. “And not in a while. It…like I said, it doesn’t usually get this bad. I-it’s just…it’s been a lot lately. Moving here and work getting busier and that food critic coming soon. It just all piled up.” 

He set the sandwich down, grabbing the mug of cocoa again. His hands were still trembling slightly. Jesse wished there was something else he could do. 

“I’m…I’m sorry,” Lukas said again, running a hand through his hair. Powdered sugar fell across his shoulders and onto the table. He sighed, frustration flickering across his features. “For this huge mess.”

“It’s okay. It’s just powdered sugar.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, looking down. “You know, powdered doughnuts seem like a great idea, and then you’re left with a mess to clean up afterwards. There are so many other flavors, ones that taste better and aren’t so messy.” He ran a finger through the powdered sugar on the table with a small scoff, looking at his hands and shaking his head. “I don’t understand how you could want such a mess. It’s not worth it.” 

Jesse had a feeling he wasn’t talking about doughnuts anymore. He reached across the table, grabbing his hand. “I think it is worth it. Messes can be cleaned up. We can do it together, if you want.” He offered a small smile, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Besides, I like powdered doughnuts, even if they are messy. And I like you, even if you’re covered in sugar.”

Lukas just stared at him for a few moments, a whirlwind of emotions in his eyes, before breathing a soft laugh. His gaze flicked down to their hands. “Okay. I…thanks, Jesse. I just feel bad that you have to deal with all this so suddenly.”

He shook his head, rubbing his thumb along the side of Lukas’ hand. “I want to help. I don’t mind. If you need me, I’ll be right there.”

Now it was Lukas’ turn to squeeze his hand. “You’re gonna make me cry again,” he huffed, though he was smiling. He took another bite of his sandwich before his voice turned soft again. “Really, though, I appreciate it. I appreciate everything you’ve done.” 

“Of course. Any time, Lukas.”

They fell into another silence, though it was much less suffocating than earlier. Jesse still had a lot of questions, but he didn’t want to overwhelm Lukas any more. He looked exhausted and the day had been enough of a rollercoaster already. Jesse was just satisfied knowing he was feeling a little better—his shaking had finally slowed and he didn’t look quite so pale anymore.

Once he’d finished his sandwich, he went to take a shower while Jesse cleaned the powdered sugar. He popped his head into Olivia’s room, making sure to be quiet in case she was focused. 

Luckily, she seemed to be taking a short break. “Hey, Jesse. I thought I heard your voice. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I went to get Lukas from work since he wasn’t feeling well.” He decided to leave out the details—it didn’t seem like his story to tell. Lukas would talk about it when he was ready. “Have you had lunch yet?”

“Yeah, just before you got here. Is he okay?”

Jesse glanced toward the bathroom door. “He will be. He just needs some rest.”

“That’s good. Tell him I said to feel better, okay?” She turned back to the computer screen, leaning forward a bit.

“I will.” He smiled, the giddy feeling returning for a moment. “I have some news to tell you later, too.” He wanted to tell her now, but she was clearly about to get back to work. That was okay. He could tell her and Axel at the same time. 

She hummed a bit, glancing back at him with a small smile. “I’ll look forward to it.”

Jesse gave her a thumbs up that turned into a wave as he closed the door again. The bathroom door opened as he was about to go back to the living room. 

“Hey, Lukas.” He kept his voice down so he wouldn’t disturb Olivia. “How are you feeling?”

“A little better,” he said, running a hand through his damp hair. He certainly looked like it—he wasn’t quite so pale anymore and he seemed more steady on his feet. He looked comfortable, dressed in soft pajamas. “My head still kind of hurts, though.”

“You should take a nap. Getting some sleep might help.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah. That sounds good.” He turned away, starting to walk back toward the living room.

“Where are you going?” Jesse asked.

“To…sleep?” Lukas turned around again, his tone full of confusion. 

Jesse shook his head, grabbing Lukas’ hand. He led him to the bedroom, lying down and opening his arms. He smiled at Lukas, who still looked confused. 

“C’mon,” he said, voice soft. “Sleep in a real bed.”

Lukas blinked, his ears going pink. “What?”

He could feel a similar warmth rising in his own cheeks. “I didn’t ask sooner because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but you shouldn’t have to keep sleeping on the couch. I like being close to you, so as long as you don’t mind…you can sleep here.” 

Lukas hesitated for a second before climbing into bed next to Jesse. He kept his hands close to his chest, seeming like he wasn’t really sure what to do with them. Jesse was almost sure he was trembling slightly again. 

“It’s okay,” he assured, gently pulling Lukas close. Blond hair brushed against his chin as he settled Lukas’ head on his chest. “You can take up space.”

Lukas seemed to melt at that, turning his face to bury it against Jesse’s chest and wrapping his arms around him in return. He was definitely trembling. Jesse rubbed his back slowly, pressing a careful kiss to the top of his head. 

 “Thank you,” he said, barely audible. “For everything.”

“Of course. Just take it easy, okay? I’ll be right here.”

Lukas nodded a little, breathing a slightly shaky sigh. He settled against Jesse further, his head resting just over his heart. He pressed a hesitant kiss to the spot. “I love you.”

Jesse felt like fireworks were going off in his chest. He tightened his hold on Lukas a bit, giving him a gentle squeeze. “I love you, too.”

He watched as Lukas took another shaky little breath, a smile just barely visible from where he’d pressed his face against Jesse. He didn’t speak again, but that was alright. Jesse was sure he needed some time to process everything. 

He continued the slow, steady motion of his hand along Lukas’ back until he eventually drifted to sleep, his hold on Jesse loosening as his exhaustion finally caught up to him. He pulled the blanket over both of them carefully, his hand moving to rest in his soft hair instead. 

Wowie. Ohh, wowie. This was really happening. 

He had so many questions. He wanted to know the best way to help Lukas, how to keep something like this from happening again. His heart ached at the thought of how long he’d been struggling all alone—it clearly wasn’t a recent development, after all. 

He also wanted to know what things meant for them. Lukas loved him. It almost seemed too good to be true—someone so amazing really felt like that? Lukas was like a prince straight from the fairy tales Jesse had read as a child, and he actually loved him back. 

He looked at Lukas’ face, just taking in the sight. He looked so at peace, an expression that Jesse wasn’t sure he’d ever seen on him while he was awake. He was so beautiful. 

Jesse held Lukas close, a little smile on his face. Right now, this moment was perfect. He knew they would have a lot to talk about, but for now, Lukas needed to rest. They could figure it all out once he was feeling better. 

Eventually, content that Lukas would be alright, Jesse fell asleep, too.

Chapter Text

Lukas was pretty sure he was dreaming. 

He and Jesse hadn’t talked about anything yet. Dinner had been ready by the time he woke up from his nap, feeling a lot less lightheaded. Jesse had been sweet enough to bring it to him and sit with him while they ate. He felt bad for being so quiet, but there was so much on his mind that he didn’t know where to start. 

By the time they were getting ready for bed, they’d both been too tired to talk about any of it. Jesse had let him stay in his bed, something Lukas still couldn’t believe. Jesse said he’d checked to make sure it was okay with Axel, who didn’t mind as long as he still got to sleep. 

Despite still being tired, Lukas couldn’t fall back asleep right away. He ran through the events of the day, his mind replaying everything as Jesse snored beside him. His words from earlier kept repeating in Lukas’ head. 

‘You can take up space.’ 

He’d always made himself as small and convenient as possible. To be told so clearly that he didn’t have to…it almost didn’t feel real. None of it felt real.

He couldn’t believe he’d kissed him. He’d really kissed him, and Jesse had kissed him back. Jesse felt the same. Jesse loved him, too.

He smiled, tucking his face into the crook of Jesse’s neck. He shifted slightly, his arm draping across Lukas and pulling him closer. Jesse was so, so warm, like fresh-baked bread. This was way better than sleeping on the couch. 

Eventually, he managed to fall asleep, the giddy butterflies settling enough for his exhaustion to take hold again. 

He wasn’t sure what time it was when he woke up, but the bed was empty, the blankets tucked around him gently. He sat up, rubbing his eyes a little. Right, Jesse still had to go to work. Lukas had already called Nell last night to let her know he was staying home—he needed a break and it was probably better for him to take it easy anyway, which she’d agreed with. 

The door opened with a soft creak, a familiar head of messy hair peeking in. His face lit up once he saw Lukas. “Hey! You’re awake!” He walked over, sitting next to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Hey, Jesse. Better than yesterday, for the most part.” He rested his head on Jesse’s shoulder, smiling a little as Jesse leaned his own head against him. It was a bit of an awkward position since Lukas was taller, but they made it work.

“That’s good. You should still take it easy, though.”

“I will, I will.” He took Jesse’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. His voice was quieter when he spoke again. “We should…we should talk later. About everything.”

Jesse nodded, squeezing his hand in return. “Yeah.” He nuzzled his cheek into Lukas’ hair a bit. “I kinda wish I didn’t have work today. I want to stay here and make sure you’re okay.”

Lukas hummed softly, leaning into him a bit more. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“I know.” He kissed the top of Lukas’ head. It made his heart flutter, the tips of his ears going a little warm. He tilted his head slightly, tucking his face into the crook of Jesse’s neck. 

They sat together for a little while longer before Jesse sighed. “I should probably go now. I don’t want to be late. Olivia’s in her room if you need anything.” He pulled away and stood up, taking both of Lukas’ hands and giving them another little squeeze. “Try to eat something today, okay?”

“I’ll try.” He squeezed his hands in return, offering a small smile. “Have a good day. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jesse said, and the words set off fireworks in Lukas’ chest. “See you later.”

He waved one last time before he was gone. The room felt a little colder, a little emptier without him there, though the warmth in Lukas’ face was enough to make up for it. He lay back on the bed for a few moments, looking up at the ceiling with a giddy smile. 

Jesse loved him. Jesse really loved him.

He lay there for a little while longer, just enjoying the peace. Part of him felt guilty that he wasn’t going to work, but he was just so, so exhausted. A break like this would be good for him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d just let himself relax—honestly, he wasn’t sure he ever had. 

He turned his head slightly, looking at the little pig plushie on the pillow next to him. Jesse and Axel’s room was cluttered, but it was clearly all things they wanted to have in their room. There weren’t dishes stacked on the nightstands or piles of clothes on the floor, except for a few stray socks lying around. It was nice. 

As tempting as it was to stay in bed all day, he knew he had to get up eventually to feed Dewey. He also wanted to bake something for Jesse to thank him for…well, everything, really. He’d done so much for Lukas, especially recently. 

He sat up, taking a moment to stretch. He set the little pig plush in the center of the pillows before standing and fixing the blankets. It was a bit chilly now that he wasn’t wrapped in so many layers, but he was sure he’d warm up once he started baking. 

He studied his reflection as he brushed his teeth. His hair was messy, sticking up in odd directions. He looked tired, the shadows under his eyes only getting darker. There was something different, though—a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. He thought of the little blue rock and the way it caught the light. He couldn’t help a tiny smile as he turned from the mirror. 

Dewey rubbed against his legs as he left the bathroom, meowing loudly. He laughed a bit, reaching down and scooping him up. “I’m getting there, I’m getting there. Calm down.”

He carried the squirming cat to the kitchen before setting him back on the floor, where he gave Lukas an indignant look and began to meow again. He shook his head fondly, smiling as he served his food. 

“Spoiled little thing. Here.” He pet his head gently, taking his water bowl and refilling it. Dewey didn’t look up once he’d started eating. 

Lukas grabbed the box of recipe cards Petra had given him for Christmas and started flipping through it. He hadn’t copied all of his recipes over yet, but there was enough of a variety that he could probably find something good. 

He decided on chocolate chip muffins. They were simple, but delicious. Besides, Jesse liked chocolate. 

He’d made muffins so many times that he didn’t really need to pay attention—unfortunately, that meant his mind was left to wander on its own. 

He thought about yesterday, how Jesse had been so patient and gentle. He hadn’t tried to force him to talk about it, he hadn’t mocked him or scolded him for what happened…he’d only wanted to help. He made him cocoa and held him while he cried, just like he’d done when Lukas first came to his door, scared and lost and covered in snow. 

He didn’t know where he’d be without Jesse. Where he would have gone. Jack and Nurm had said they would have taken him, but they lived on the other side of the city, and Lukas had been too panicked to speak, let alone make a phone call. He’d been moving on autopilot, his body taking him to Jesse’s without his brain even knowing. 

As awful as that day had been, in some way, he was grateful for it. He didn’t know how much longer he would have been able to stand living with Aiden. Moving in with Jesse and his friends showed him just how awful things were before. He’d known, but some small part of him always said it could be worse and that he should be grateful he had somewhere at all. Living with Jesse, though…the apartment was always so warm and clean, and everyone was so kind, and there was always an air of peace and happiness. 

He’d never had that before. Not permanently, anyway—being at Jack and Nurm’s house was always nice, but he didn’t live there. 

He thought about what Jack had told him during Christmas dinner. He was like a son to them. They loved him. 

There had been a lot of love in his life recently. A lot more than he really knew how to handle. It was nice, though. He’d spent so long feeling lonely. 

He leaned against the counter as he stirred the batter, his smile fading a bit. He’d tried his best not to think about it, but the feeling still washed over him sometimes. He shook his head, sighing. He was supposed to be relaxing. He couldn’t let himself get lost in those thoughts.

He set the bowl of batter down and grabbed his phone. “Please don’t be busy,” he murmured, pressing Petra’s contact. 

Luckily, it was only a few seconds before she picked up. “Lukas, hey. Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Hey. It’s…a long story,” he said, putting the phone on speaker mode and setting it on the counter. He grabbed the bowl again, resuming his mixing. 

“I have time. What’s going on?”

He was silent for a few moments, trying to figure out how to explain. She’d be upset, there was no avoiding that. Better to just get it over with. 

“I, uh…collapsed at work yesterday,” he mumbled, a small part of him hoping she hadn’t been able to hear. 

“What?!”

He winced, glancing toward Olivia’s room and taking the phone back off of speaker mode. He tucked it between his ear and his shoulder. “It’s fine, I’m fine. Jesse picked me up and then I ate something. I’m fine.”

There was a pause, then a deep breath that turned into a heavy sigh. “Lukas, you have to be more careful.”

“I know,” he muttered, pouring the batter into the muffin pans. “I’m sorry.”

“Have you eaten yet today?”

“Not yet. I’m making muffins and then I’ll eat something, I promise.”

“Something other than a cheese sandwich.”

He sighed. “Fine.”

“Thank you. Now, tell me what happened.” 

He put the muffins into the oven and leaned against the counter. “Well…I got really dizzy and collapsed, and Nell found me and called Jesse to pick me up. He took me home, and…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair with a soft, almost incredulous laugh. “I kissed him.”

There was a pause, then, “Seriously?! Finally!” He could practically see the grin on her face. “I thought you would never make a move.”

“He kind of made the first one. I mean, he said he loved me. He…he started listing all these reasons and I just…it was amazing, Petra.” The memory rushed back to him, filling his cheeks with heat. He’d kissed Jesse. 

“Okay, okay, I don’t need details,” she said, though she was laughing a little. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

He nodded before remembering she couldn’t see him. “Yeah. We haven’t talked about it yet, but…I hope it goes well.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. And you’re okay, right? You didn’t get hurt?”

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Don’t worry.”

Her voice softened a little. “I’m always gonna worry about you, Lukas. You know that.” 

“I know,” he murmured. “You don’t have to.”

“You’re my brother. I love you, so of course I’m gonna worry, dummy.”

He ran a hand through his hair again, a small smile on his face. There were those words again. Petra wasn’t usually one for feelings, but she never hesitated to remind Lukas that she cared. “I love you, too.”

“So, how’s work been? Any news on that critic guy?”

He sighed, moving to sit at the table. “We don’t know when he’s coming. Stella keeps saying it’s soon, but other than that, nothing. I just want it over with already.”

“Well, hopefully it is soon, then.”

“Yeah. Part of me wonders if I should start looking for a new job. I mean, he’s not exactly known for his good reviews, and if we lose any business it might be the end of us. We’ve been doing a little better lately, but not that much better.” He leaned his elbow on the table, holding his head in his hand. “I don’t know where I would go, though. It’s a miracle I got this job at all. I mean, my options are limited since I can’t drive, and I’m not good at anything besides baking, and—”

“Whoa, whoa, stop right there,” she said, cutting him off. “Don’t think like that. Whatever happens, I know you can get through it. You’ve made it this far.”

“Barely,” he muttered, feeling so, so tired. It was an exhaustion that had been settled in his limbs for longer than he could remember. “I just…I wish things would stop happening so much.”

”I know,” Petra sighed. “It sucks. But…I’m always here if you need me.”

“I know,” he echoed. “Thanks, Petra.”

“Any time. And hey, give yourself some more credit. You’re good at plenty of things.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Writing, for one thing. And don’t even say you’re not, I’ve seen the stuff you write. It’s good. A little too sappy for me, but it’s good.”

“It’s really not,” he mumbled, his cheeks heating up a little. 

“It really is,” she said, teasingly mimicking his tone. “C’mon, dude. You were always good with words.”

He sighed, knowing there would be no winning against Petra. “Fine, fine. But my point is, I don’t know what I’m gonna do if this doesn’t work out.”

“Whatever it is, you won’t be figuring it out on your own. Like I said, I’m always here, and so are my dads, and I’m sure Jesse will be, too. Just take it as it comes, yeah?”

“Yeah. I guess.” He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. “Thanks.”

“Of course. I gotta go now, Dad and I are going out today. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah,” he repeated. “Talk to you later. I’ll let you know how it goes with Jesse.”

“Good luck. Eat something. I love you.”

“Love you, too. Bye, Petra.”

“See ya.” 

He set the phone down, resting his head in his hands and breathing a long sigh. He glanced at the oven timer, watching the numbers count down until it beeped. He grabbed a knife, sticking it into one of the muffins. It came out clean and Lukas was once again glad Jesse had an oven that worked properly. 

He set them aside to cool, turning his attention to the next task—getting something to eat. He was pretty sure they had leftovers, so he could just reheat that. He hummed to himself as he did, just to fill the silence. It felt almost too quiet now that he wasn’t talking to Petra. 

It was strange. Usually, he liked being alone, but today…he didn’t want that. It gave him too much time to think.

He was just about to start eating when Olivia walked in. “Mind if I have lunch with you?”

He shook his head. “I don’t mind. It’s nice to have company.” 

She pulled her container of leftovers out of the fridge, setting it in the microwave. Lukas pushed his own food around, suddenly feeling a little awkward. It had nothing to do with Olivia herself—they got along well, after all—but for some reason it felt different. 

“So…you and Jesse, huh?”

…Well. Maybe that was the reason. 

His ears went hot as he stared down at the food. “He told you?”

“No, but I can tell. He’s been even happier than usual since last night.” She smiled, sitting across from him with her food. Lukas realized he hadn’t even started eating yet and took a bite as she continued. “Plus, you didn’t sleep on the couch last night. He’s been trying to work up the nerve to ask you for a while now.”

“Oh,” he murmured, not sure what else to say. 

“I’m glad you two worked it out. I thought you never would,” she said, laughing a little.

“So you’re…cool with it?” he asked, a little hesitantly. 

She raised an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged, pushing his food around a little. “Just…you and Axel have known him for so long. I just met him a few months ago.”

“And he’s been in love with you since you first met. Besides, you’re a pretty cool guy yourself.” 

“Oh,” he repeated, the heat spreading to his cheeks. Then, “…thanks, Olivia. I hope Axel doesn’t mind.”

“He won’t,” she said, standing up to set her dishes in the sink and wash her hands. “He’s really warmed up to you, and you make Jesse happy.”

Lukas nodded slowly, taking another bite. He’d thought Axel didn’t like him at first, but now he acted just like he did with Jesse and Olivia around Lukas. He didn’t seem to like change, which Lukas could understand. He just hoped that he’d be okay with this change. He couldn’t quite shake the worry despite Olivia’s assurance.

“Well, I have to get back to work now,” she said, snapping him out of his thoughts. “See you, Lukas.”

“See you,” he echoed, watching as she disappeared back to her room. Her door closed with a soft click that sounded louder in the silence of the apartment. He looked down at his food again, realizing he’d barely eaten any of it. He breathed a soft sigh. He’d told both Jesse and Petra that he’d eat, so he’d finish it. It wasn’t that much.

He stared down at the table as he ate, doing his best not to think about anything except the warmth of Jesse’s smile. Something about him was just so effortlessly calming, easing Lukas’ worries in a way nothing else could. He was warm and soft and sweet, just like the muffins cooling on the counter. 

He couldn’t help a small smile at the thought. Cookies, cupcakes, muffins…maybe he’d just be associating Jesse with baked goods forever. Maybe that wasn’t so bad, though. 

He thought of the way Jesse’s lips had felt against his, the way his cheeks had squished a bit as Lukas held his face. His hands had been so gentle when he’d held Lukas’ face in return, wiping his tears away and saying such lovely things.

He sighed a little, glancing at the time. The silence only made him miss Jesse more. It felt like too long until he’d be back, even though it was just a few hours.

He finished eating, setting his dishes in the sink and washing both his own and Olivia’s, along with everything he’d used to bake. He set them to dry before turning his attention to the muffins again. He wanted to put a note with them, something to express how he felt. He thought of the pages and pages of scribbled out almost-confessions in his journal, along with the places he’d torn whole pages out, and decided something simple would be best. 

He grabbed some nice paper and wrote ‘thank you for everything’ with a few little hearts around it. That would work for now, until he could properly write his feelings out. He arranged the muffins on a plate and set the piece of paper in front of them. He looked at his handiwork, smiling a little.  He hoped Jesse would like it.

He took a deep breath, running his hand through his hair. He could do this. They would just be talking. Talking to Jesse wasn’t bad. 

Except…he’d never been so open. He’d never laid any of his issues out for Jesse to see, preferring to hide behind a smile and let the conversation shift away from himself. It was nerve-wracking, but…it was Jesse. He’d been nothing but gentle and understanding about everything so far. 

He could do this.

He decided he needed something else to distract himself. He covered the muffins and went back to the couch, grabbing a controller on his way. Mario Kart was a good way to fill the time and stop overthinking everything. 

He played a few rounds, his focus eventually shifting from his worries about later to making sure he got first place in every round. It wasn’t as much fun by himself, but it was still enjoyable. 

Eventually, he heard the door open, followed by two familiar voices. He hadn’t even realized what time it was. He paused the game, looking toward the door. 

“Hey, Lukas. Sorry we’re late.” Jesse gave him a small smile, waving a little. 

Axel was right behind him, holding a box. “We brought pizza, though. That totally makes up for it, right?”

“Pizza sounds good,” he said, getting up to turn the game off. “I might have mine a little later, though. I’m not really hungry now.”

Jesse looked like he was about to say something when Axel shrugged, carrying the box to the kitchen. “Whatever you say. Hey, what’s this?”

He followed him, gesturing for Jesse to join him. The nerves were returning now that he wasn’t distracted anymore, his hands starting to shake a little. “I, uh…I made muffins today as a thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” He met Jesse’s eyes with a tiny smile. 

Jesse looked between Lukas and the plate of muffins, his eyes bright as he looked at the piece of paper. “Thanks, Lukas. They look really good.” He reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. “We can have some after dinner.”

Lukas felt his nerves settle a little as he squeezed Jesse’s hand back. “Yeah,” he said, looking at their hands. “Sounds good.”

“Axel, can you get Olivia?” Jesse asked. “I’ll start serving the food.”

“Already on it,” Axel said, heading toward the hallway. 

Lukas couldn’t help the twinge of disappointment as Jesse’s hand pulled away from his. He tried not to dwell on it, instead moving to help him set the table. 

“I told Petra about what happened,” he said, glancing toward Jesse. Part of him was a little worried now—what if Jesse hadn’t wanted him to say anything yet? Would he be upset?

Jesse smiled. “I just told Axel in the car. I was gonna wait to ask if you were okay with me saying anything, but I got too excited.”

Relief washed over him at that. “Of course it’s okay. Olivia asked me about it earlier, too. She said she’d figured it out.”

“I think she knew before we did,” he laughed, setting the plates on the table. He paused, his voice softening a bit. “Are you sure you don’t want any pizza? Did you eat today?”

“I’m sure,” he said, setting cups next to each plate. “And yeah, I had leftovers for lunch. I might have something later.”

“Well…as long as you had something.” 

Lukas nodded, grateful that Axel and Olivia walked back in at that moment. He knew he’d have to face the subject eventually, but he still wasn’t quite ready. 

He stayed sitting with them while they ate, listening to them talk about their days. The topic inevitably shifted to the obvious, though, and suddenly all eyes were on him. 

“So, you and Jesse?” Axel said, echoing Olivia’s question from earlier in the day. He felt the tips of his ears go warm again as he nodded. 

“As…as long as everyone is okay with it,” he said. “I mean, we haven’t made it, like, official or anything.”

He felt Jesse’s hand take his underneath the table, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Not yet, at least. But I’m hopeful.” He looked at Lukas with that bright smile and he couldn’t help a small smile of his own in return. 

“Yeah. Me too.”

“Hey, as long as you’re both happy,” Axel said, shrugging. “I’m still gonna destroy you at Mario Kart, best friend’s boyfriend or not.”

“Axel, he’s beaten you every time,” Olivia pointed out before Lukas could dwell on the phrasing for too long. Boyfriend. Hearing it out loud made it feel so much more real. 

“Not every time!”

“Well, maybe we can all play together later. Lukas and I have to talk about some stuff, but maybe after that?” Jesse offered before it could turn into bickering. 

“You’re on,” Axel agreed, grinning. 

“I guess we’d better hurry up, then, huh?” Lukas said, keeping his tone light and joking to hopefully mask his nervousness. “Don’t wanna keep Axel waiting too long for me to beat him.”

“Hey!”

Jesse laughed, standing up and gathering the dishes. “He can use the time to practice.”

Axel grumbled something under his breath, but there was a smile on his face as he left to go set everything up. Olivia got up as well, resting a hand on Jesse’s shoulder. “I’ll handle the dishes. You two go ahead.”

“Are you sure?” 

She nodded. “You’ve been waiting long enough.”

Jesse smiled, thanking her and taking Lukas’ hand again. He offered a tiny smile, following Jesse to the room and pulling the door closed behind him with a soft click. Jesse sat on the bed, gesturing for him to join. He hesitated for a second before sitting next to him and resting his head on his shoulder. This might be easier if he didn’t have to look at him.

“So…” Jesse’s voice was soft as his arm wrapped around Lukas’ waist. “Where do we start?”

“Where do you want to start?” he asked, his voice equally soft. 

Jesse was quiet for a few moments, his thumb slowly starting to move up and down Lukas’ side. It felt nice. His hands were warm. “I guess we should start with what happened, and then end with us. That way we end on a good note.”

Lukas nodded a little, icy dread settling in his stomach. His voice came out barely above a whisper. “Okay.”

He knew that Jesse loved him. He’d made that very clear by now. But part of him was terrified that if Jesse learned the whole truth, he’d be…upset? Disappointed? Disgusted? Lukas wasn’t even really sure. He just knew that he didn’t want to risk losing him. Not when he’d only just started to get what he’d been longing for. 

He took a deep breath, reminding himself that this was Jesse. Kind, patient, loving Jesse. Petra and Jack and Nurm hadn’t turned him away when they’d learned—it was very, very unlikely that Jesse would. 

“It’s…eating is, uh…hard sometimes,” he started, his eyes focused on his lap. “I know it’s bad. I know I have to eat, and it’s dangerous not to, and…and all that. But sometimes I just…I-I can’t. Sometimes I can’t. And yesterday, it caught up to me. It’s been getting bad again lately.” 

He paused as his voice wavered a little. He felt Jesse’s arm tighten around him slightly and he took another breath before continuing. “It’s been an issue for…a while. Since I was a kid. I-I just…I got good at hiding it. Petra knows, her dads know, you, um…you know, now. I don’t think my mom does.” His voice grew quieter, a little distant. “I don’t think she ever really figured out what the whole problem was. She knew something was wrong, but not what it was. Is…is it bad that I’m glad she never found out?”

“Do you think something would have happened if she did?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “She would have worried. She had enough to worry about. I just…didn’t want to add to that, I guess.”

“What do you mean?” Jesse took Lukas’ hand again, his grip firm but still so, so gentle. 

“She was always so busy. It was just the two of us, so she had to work all the time to keep us afloat. She wasn’t really around much, so I guess that’s…that’s why she never noticed. And I guess that’s why it got so bad.” He sighed, his gaze shifting to their hands. Jesse’s hands were bigger than his own, rough and covered in scars. He let the feeling ground him as he continued. “It was just supposed to be temporary. I’d eat less so she didn’t have to worry about buying as much, and things would be fine. But…it got worse in middle school. People started caring about appearances and I guess it got to me.” 

He ran his free hand through his hair, his eyes flicking toward the mirror. He looked so small and tired next to Jesse. He huffed a soft, humorless laugh. “I guess a lot of things got to me.”

He could see Jesse looking at him in the mirror, too. He rested his cheek in Lukas’ hair as he studied his appearance. It made him a little nervous, but there was no judgement in Jesse’s expression. Only softness, and something else Lukas couldn’t quite place.

His voice was gentle when he spoke. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing. And whatever happens, I’ll be here for you.” He turned his face slightly, kissing the top of Lukas’ head. 

Lukas smiled a little, turning away from the mirror to hug Jesse properly. “Thank you. The same goes for you, too. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

“Thanks, Lukas.” He gave him a little squeeze and Lukas melted into the warmth like butter into a biscuit as Jesse continued. “I know how you feel, at least a little bit. Before Dad adopted me, things were pretty hard. I had Axel and Olivia and…and Reuben, but I still felt so alone sometimes. I wished I could be someone else, someone stronger or smarter or prettier. But I found people who love me the way I am, and it helped. I won’t say it’s perfect, but it helped.”

Lukas hummed softly, pulling away a bit. Jesse always seemed so upbeat—it was hard to imagine him without that energy. He didn’t know much about his past, at least not before he met Ivor. He didn’t talk about it, so Lukas didn’t ask. 

“I think you’re pretty amazing, too,” he said, taking his hands. “You’re funny, and you always know how to make people smile. You care so much and you’re not afraid to show it. You’re really nice to talk to, and you’re really handsome, too.”

Jesse’s face went a little pink at that. “You think I’m handsome?”

Lukas nodded. “Yeah. You are.”

It felt good to be able to just…say things like that. Jesse looked a little dazed, a smile spreading across his face. It was incredibly adorable. 

“Wowie,” he mumbled. “You’re, um…you’re not so bad yourself. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so pretty before.”

Now it was Lukas’ turn to go pink. He looked down at their hands, rubbing his thumb along one of Jesse’s scars. He leaned over slightly, pressing a little kiss to Jesse’s cheek in return. It still felt strange, but it felt so right. Jesse’s skin was warm against his lips.

“Can I, uh…can we do that again? Can I kiss you?” Jesse asked, his melted chocolate eyes wide and practically sparkling. Lukas nodded and then Jesse’s hand was on his face, gently pulling him closer. He leaned into it, closing his eyes. 

It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was sweet and warm. Like muffins, he couldn’t help but think again. He smiled as they pulled apart. 

“Wowie,” Jesse repeated, that same slightly dazed expression on his face. “That’s…that was nice.”

“Yeah,” Lukas agreed. “It was. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Do you wanna, uh…get some muffins?”

“Sure. I might have a slice of pizza instead, though.” He figured it might be best to try eating again, to avoid worrying Jesse any more than he had the previous day. He was actually starting to get a little hungry, anyway. 

Jesse nodded, giving his hands another squeeze and pulling him to his feet. He was barely up when Jesse swept him into a hug, spinning him in a circle before setting him back down.

Lukas laughed, stumbling a bit from the shock. He leaned against Jesse, who had a huge grin on his face.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” he admitted, wrapping an arm around Lukas. “It looked so fun in all the movies. And now I can say I swept you off your feet, right?” he asked, his goofy grin getting wider.

Lukas couldn’t help but snort at that. “Sure, muffin.”

The pet name slipped out before he even realized what he was saying. Jesse looked at him for a moment, wide-eyed, before dissolving into giggles. Lukas felt that familiar, pleasant warmth rise in his face.

“C’mon, you,” Jesse said, taking his hand again and leading him toward the door. Lukas followed, a big smile stuck on his own face. He still couldn’t believe this was really happening.

Jesse loved him. Really, truly loved him.

“So?” Axel asked as they settled on the couch, Lukas with a slice of pizza and Jesse with a muffin for each of them. “How’d it go?”

“Amazing,” Jesse said, grinning all over again. “I knew it would.”

“Right, because you haven’t been worried about it at all.” Olivia raised an eyebrow, her voice teasing as she took one of the muffins. Jesse lightly swatted at her, his face a little red. 

Lukas smiled, glancing between them. “What, did you think I’d say no?”

“No, just…I don’t know! You’re so cool!” Jesse leaned against him, hiding his face in his hands. Lukas wrapped an arm around him, laughing softly. He really was adorable. 

“I was nervous, too. But it all turned out okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, smiling. “It did.”

“And I can destroy you in Mario Kart now, right?” Axel asked, holding out a controller.

“I think you mean I can destroy you,” he said, his grin turning playful as he took the controller.

“You wish!” 

Any nervousness he’d felt throughout the day was gone. Jesse was settled against his side, a comforting warmth as the four of them talked and laughed. His boyfriend. Jesse was his boyfriend, and Lukas was surrounded by love. From Jesse, from his friends, from his family.

He would have so much to tell Petra later, but first he had to finish obliterating Axel at Mario Kart.

Chapter Text

Jesse couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

Lukas was his boyfriend. His honest-to-goodness, actual boyfriend. It almost felt too good to be true.

Said boyfriend was snuggled up to his chest, fast asleep. It wasn’t often that Jesse was awake before him, so for him to wake up first for the second day in a row felt a bit like he was being given the chance to see something special, something precious. There was a peacefulness to Lukas’ features when he slept that wasn’t there while he was awake.

He was glad he’d finally worked up the nerve to ask him to sleep in the same bed. It had only been a day or two, but Lukas seemed like he’d been sleeping better. Plus, it meant Jesse got to hold him. He liked doing that. 

He smiled, pressing a light kiss to the top of Lukas’ head as he began to stir. His hair was so soft and a little messy from sleep. It was cute.

“Morning, dear,” he said. The word tasted sweet in his mouth, sending another giddy fizz through him. He brought a hand to the back of Lukas’ head, gently playing with his hair.

“Morning,” Lukas mumbled in return, leaning into the touch. It was a few more seconds before he lifted his head, though not before leaving a small kiss of his own on Jesse’s chest. He pushed himself up the rest of the way, rubbing his eyes.

“We should go on a date,” Jesse blurted out, the affection flooding his brain. “If, uh…if you want to,” he added, realizing that Lukas quite literally just woke up and they’d only been officially together for less than a day. He didn’t know how fast was too fast and he didn’t want to mess it up so soon. 

Lukas looked at him, his ears turning that adorable shade of pink they always did when he got flustered. “A date? Like, an actual date?”

Jesse nodded, sitting up as a similar heat rose in his cheeks. “Y-yeah. Or we could stay home, that’s cool, too. Just, like…whatever.” 

Lukas ran a hand through his hair with a soft laugh. “A date,” he echoed, a smile on his face. “Yeah. Yeah, that…what did you have in mind?”

Jesse shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn’t really sure what people did on dates. He figured a restaurant might not be a good suggestion, considering everything Lukas had told him. “Uh…we could go to the park?” he offered instead. 

“The park sounds nice. It’s been a while since we went, anyway.” 

He smiled, taking Lukas’ hands. “The park it is, then.”

Lukas squeezed his hands and stood up. “Perfect.” He kissed the top of Jesse’s head, leaving to get ready. 

Jesse sat there for a little longer, a lovestruck grin on his face as he listened to Axel’s snoring. He was going on a date. With his boyfriend. 

After a few more moments of processing that, he got up, kissing his pig plushie on the head and setting it in the middle of his pillow. He dug around in his drawers, grabbing a nice shirt and pants and his beloved green suspenders. He hesitated for just a moment before grabbing a bow tie as well. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d worn it, or even where it came from, but he wanted to look nice for their date.

He got dressed, clipping the bow tie onto his shirt and studying his appearance. He snapped his suspenders a little, doing finger guns in the mirror. Looking sharp.

He turned around at the sound of a quiet laugh to see Lukas in the doorway, a hand over his mouth to hide his smile. He was already dressed, wearing that nice dark blue sweater. His earrings glinted as he moved his head. He looked really, really good.

Jesse’s face went a little warm. “You look…nice. Um, really nice. How, uh…how long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough,” he said, walking over and kissing Jesse’s cheek. “And thanks. You look nice, too.”

“Thanks.” He grinned, gently touching the spot Lukas had just kissed as he went to brush his teeth. This was going to take some getting used to, but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Once he was done getting ready, he made his way to the kitchen. Dewey was immediately at his feet, meowing at him loudly.

“Hey, little guy,” he said, crouching down to pet him. “Hungry? We can have breakfast together.”

He filled Dewey’s food bowl and got him some fresh water. The cat meowed again, rubbing against his legs before starting to eat. Jesse smiled, petting his head one last time before turning to grab his own breakfast. There were still muffins on the counter, so he grabbed two. 

“Hey,” he said as Lukas walked in. “I fed Dewey.”

“Oh, thanks! I was just coming to do that.”

“No problem. Do you want a muffin?” he asked, holding one out and taking a bite of the other. 

Lukas shook his head, crouching down to pet Dewey. “I’m good. Thanks, though. I’ll have something later.”

Jesse thought back to all the other times he’d heard Lukas say that. He wondered how many times he’d actually had something later. He’d just have to make sure he really did this time. “If you’re sure. When do you want to get going?” 

He shrugged, standing back up as Dewey walked off. “Whenever you’re ready. I don’t really mind.”

Jesse smiled, finishing off his muffins. “I’m just gonna let Olivia know we’re leaving. She’s probably awake.”

His suspicions were confirmed by the way her door was cracked open. She glanced up as he knocked, waving a little. There was a mug of tea on her desk, meaning she’d probably been awake for a while. “Hey, Jesse.”

“Morning, Olivia. Lukas and I are going out,” he said, unable to stop the huge grin spreading across his face, “on a date.”

She smiled a little teasingly. “It took you long enough. I’ll let Axel know once he wakes up, though you guys might be back before that happens.”

Jesse laughed. “Knowing him, maybe.”

“Well, have fun, you two. Be careful, dress warm, and all that.”

“We will. Bye!” He waved again, pulling her door back to the way it had been. He grabbed his coat and hat, stealing the occasional glance at Lukas as they both bundled up. For someone who was always freezing to the touch, he wasn’t dressing very warmly. He didn’t have a hat or a scarf—just his winter coat and a pair of gloves. 

“Won’t you be cold?” he asked, adjusting his own hat. “It looks like it’s supposed to snow more.”

“I’ll be okay. I’ve walked to work in worse weather.”

Jesse didn’t really like that that was true. “I know. Still, tell me if you get too cold, okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Lukas leaned down to press a soft kiss to Jesse’s cheek. “I will, muffin. Don’t worry.”

He was still worried, but he trusted Lukas. Besides, they could always come back home if it got too cold. He took Lukas’ hand, giving it a little squeeze. “Shall we, then?”

“We shall,” he said, squeezing Jesse’s hand back with a smile. 

Jesse led him outside, watching as their breath made puffs of steam in the cold air. It had snowed the night before, so everything was covered in a fresh coating of white. Like powdered doughnuts, he thought, and he cast a glance at Lukas, almost sure he was already shivering a little. 

He pulled him closer, linking their arms instead. “That coffee shop you like is around the park, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I was thinking we could get some drinks before we go. Something warm, you know?” He glanced at him with a smile. 

Lukas hummed slightly. “If you want to. I don’t mind.” 

“It’s kinda like two dates in one if you think about it,” he said as they turned onto a quieter street. “A coffee shop and a walk in the park.”

“I guess it is, yeah. Such a romantic, going all out on our first date,” Lukas teased, gently flicking the pom-pom on Jesse’s hat. 

He laughed, turning his head a bit to kiss Lukas’ shoulder. “Only the best for you, my dear.”

“Oh, stop it,” he muttered, though he was smiling. He looked cute like this, his usually pale face flushed pink from both the chill and Jesse’s words. He was still worried Lukas would be too cold, though. He was glad the cafe wasn’t very far. 

“After you,” he said, pushing the door open. A blast of warm air like opening an oven hit them as they walked in. There was a little bell above the door like the one at the bakery, though it sounded different. 

“Such a romantic,” Lukas repeated with a soft laugh. Jesse liked seeing him happy like this. It was a welcome change from how stressed and withdrawn he usually was. He’d opened up a lot since he’d moved in, Jesse thought. 

He took his hand again, giving it a little squeeze as they walked up to the counter. He’d only actually entered the coffee shop once, when Lukas had told him he wouldn’t be able to visit because they were filming their advertisement. The hot cocoa had been pretty good, and so was the little scone he’d gotten to go with it.

“One black coffee,” the woman behind the counter said, snapping her fingers as she saw Lukas. Her apron and visor were purple and Jesse wondered if that was a common choice for uniforms in this part of town. “Or maybe two, since I see you’re not alone today.”

He shook his head with a little smile. “No coffee today. We’ll take a moment to look at the menu.”

“Feeling adventurous?” 

“Something like that,” he murmured, glancing at Jesse before looking at the menu. 

Jesse tilted his head a little. “I thought you hated coffee.”

“I do,” he said. “It’s…it’s complicated. What do you want to get?”

It was obvious he was trying to change the subject, a slight tension in his posture that hadn’t been there before. Jesse would have to remember to ask later—Lukas clearly didn’t want to talk about it now. 

“I’ll take a hot cocoa. You?”

“I’ll…also take some hot cocoa.” He scanned the menu again. “Yeah. Two hot cocoas.”

“Two hot cocoas,” the woman behind the counter repeated, turning around. Jesse watched as she got the drinks ready, her wavy ponytail bouncing as she moved around. He turned his gaze back to Lukas after a few moments, noticing that he still seemed a little tense. He reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a little squeeze. 

“Everything okay?” he asked, voice soft. 

Lukas squeezed his hand in return. “Yeah. Just thinking about some stuff.”

Jesse hummed a little, lightly bumping his head against Lukas’ shoulder. “I’m here if you wanna talk about it.”

“I know.” He smiled the tiniest bit, rubbing his thumb along the side of Jesse’s hand. “Thanks.”

“Here you are,” the woman said, setting two cups on the counter. “Two hot cocoas.”

“I can pay, since it was my idea,” Jesse said, reaching for his wallet. 

Lukas rested his hand over Jesse’s, shaking his head. “No, no. Consider it my thanks for everything you’ve done for me.” He offered another little smile, though there was something in his eyes Jesse couldn’t quite place. “I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He paid for their things and handed Jesse his drink. “Ready?”

“Well…okay. Thanks, Lukas.” 

“Any time.” He turned back to the woman behind the counter. “Thank you. See you on Monday?”

“See you then. Have fun on your date, by the way,” she called after them as they walked out. The tips of Lukas’ ears went red and Jesse could feel the same heat rising in his own face. Was it really that obvious?

“So, uh…” he started as they headed toward the park, “how come you always get the coffee instead of the cocoa?”

“It’s cheaper. I don’t…I don’t actually drink it,” Lukas muttered, not meeting Jesse’s eyes. “It’s just so people would stop asking if I had breakfast.”

Jesse hummed softly, thinking about all of the times Lukas had turned down offers of breakfast and told him he’d get something before work. He’d had a feeling it wasn’t true, but the confirmation still made his heart ache. 

“I’m sorry,” Lukas murmured after a few more moments of silence, his eyes focused on the ground in front of him as they walked. “I’ve lied to you a lot. I should’ve just told you sooner.”

Jesse glanced over at him, noticing that he was shaking a little again. He wasn’t sure whether it was from the cold or from something else, but either way, he couldn’t bear to see him like this. 

He reached out and took Lukas’ hand again. He brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of his glove like a knight in a movie. “I understand why you didn’t want to tell me. But hey, we can try to make it a little better, yeah? I’m here to help, if you’ll let me.”

He offered a small smile, pausing as they reached the entrance to the park. Lukas still didn’t meet his eyes, but there was the tiniest hint of a smile on his face. “Thanks, Jesse. It means a lot that…it means a lot. Thank you.” 

“Any time. Now, could you hold this for a second?” he asked, handing Lukas his cocoa. He pulled his hat off, standing on his toes so he could reach to put it on Lukas’ head. 

“Jesse, what—”

“You were shivering. I don’t want you to be cold,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before taking his cocoa back. “You didn’t dress very warmly.”

“I would’ve been okay,” he mumbled, his cheeks turning a little redder as he adjusted the hat. “But…thanks.”

“Yep! Now c’mon, this park won’t walk around itself.” He linked their arms and started off along the path. 

They fell into silence again, though it was a comfortable one. The park looked beautiful like this, the snow blanketing the ground and trees like icing on a cake. Part of him wished it wasn’t so cloudy, just so they could sit and watch the snow sparkle. It was okay, though—he had Lukas by his side and a nice, warm drink, and that was enough. 

Once they had reached a certain spot on the path, Lukas paused. He smiled a little before starting to nudge some of the snow aside with his boot. Jesse watched curiously, wondering what had him so excited all of a sudden. 

“I thought so! Look,” he said, his eyes meeting Jesse’s. He leaned over to see what Lukas was pointing at. There was a big root sticking out of the ground, right in the middle of the path. “Do you recognize where we are?”

“Not really,” Jesse admitted, a little confused about what had Lukas so excited. It was cute, though. Maybe Jesse didn’t need the sun on the snow, not with the way Lukas’ eyes were sparkling. 

His beaming smile turned a little shy as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well…I guess it would’ve meant more to me at that point, huh?” He looked back down at the root. “This is…this is where I fell in love with you. I tripped over this root and you caught me. It’s crazy to think that was only a couple months ago.”

Jesse looked at the root, then at Lukas. It had been on this path, hadn’t it? “Wow. Yeah.”

He remembered that day. He hadn’t known Lukas very well yet, but it had been nice to spend time with him. They’d walked around and had cinnamon pretzels. It was a shame the stand wasn’t open in the winter—he could’ve gone for a nice cinnamon pretzel. 

He looked over at Lukas again. His dark coat stood out against the snow, and his hair managed to be beautiful even sticking out from under Jesse’s hat. The cold had turned his cheeks and nose an adorable strawberry red. His earrings glinted as he turned his head, that beautiful little smile still lighting his face. 

Jesse pulled him into a hug, careful not to spill their drinks as he rested his head against Lukas’ shoulder. He felt his body tense for a moment before his arms wrapped around Jesse in return, a barely audible sigh leaving his lips as he melted into the embrace like warm butter.  

“I love you,” Jesse murmured, letting his eyes close for a moment. Nothing else existed at the moment except for him and Lukas. “Is it weird to say I’m glad you tripped over this root?” 

Lukas laughed, resting his cold cheek in Jesse’s hair. “Maybe, but I am, too.”

They stayed like that for a little longer before Jesse pulled away, grinning. “So, I guess you could say you fell in love with me, huh?”

“Petra already made that joke, goofball,” Lukas snorted, hiding his smile with his hand. “Way back when I first told her.”

“Aw, darn,” he muttered with false disappointment, though he couldn’t help his own smile. He loved when he could make Lukas snort like that. It was cute. “Well, come on, then. It’s not much of a walk if we stay in one place.”

“I know.” Lukas glanced at the root one last time before pressing a quick kiss to Jesse’s cheek. “Let’s go.”

Jesse smiled, linking their arms again as they set off once more. They stopped to throw their empty cups away, but other than that they continued along the path for a while, talking and laughing about anything that came to mind. 

It was always nice talking to Lukas. He had seemed so cool and untouchable when they first met, but now Jesse got to see the adorably dorky side of him that he didn’t seem to show often. The topic had turned to architecture somehow and he was explaining the differences between Georgian and Victorian style houses, gesturing animatedly. Jesse was only half-following along, too distracted by how cute he looked and how nice his voice was to hear much of what he was actually saying.

Eventually, though, he started getting a little hungry. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but it was probably getting close to lunch. Maybe it was time to start heading home. Lukas hadn’t eaten breakfast, either, so the sooner they had lunch, the better. 

It must have been obvious that his focus was drifting because Lukas cut himself off with a nervous laugh, shoving his hand in his pocket. “Sorry, sorry. I’ve just been rambling, huh?”

“No, no, it’s okay. I like hearing you talk.” He smiled, standing on his toes for a moment to give him a quick, reassuring peck on the cheek. “It’s just that I’m getting kinda hungry. I was thinking we could go back home and I’ll make lunch?”

“Oh.” He brought a hand up toward his hair, though he seemed to remember he was wearing a hat and let his hand drop back to his side. “We could…we could go to a restaurant. My treat.”

“Are you sure? You already bought our drinks. I don’t mind making lunch at home.”

“I’m sure. That’s…people do that on dates, right? It’s romantic.” He took Jesse’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. “You deserve something nice like that.”

He squeezed Lukas’ hand in return, his heart melting like warm chocolate. What a lovely man. “Did you have anywhere in mind?”

He shrugged. “Where’s your favorite place? We can go there.”

“It’s not too far from here, actually,” he said, starting to lead Lukas out of the park. “It’s nothing fancy, but their food is good.”

Lukas hummed a bit, following along. Jesse hadn’t expected him to suggest they go out to eat, but maybe that was a good sign?

The walk to the restaurant was quieter than the walk around the park. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but it was a little odd after the way Lukas had been enthusiastically rambling before. He’d seemed embarrassed about having talked so much, so maybe that was why he was so quiet now. 

Jesse held the door open for him, watching the way his eyes swept around the room. The lighting was soft and it was pleasantly warm, a nice change from the temperature outside. His favorite table was empty, too, which was a relief. 

Lukas pulled his hat off as they sat down, holding it out to Jesse. “Thanks for letting me borrow this.”

He smiled, gently pushing Lukas’ hand back. “Of course. Keep it ‘til we get home, though. It’s still cold outside.”

“Won’t you be cold, then?” 

He shook his head. “I’ll be okay. You get cold a lot easier than I do.”

Lukas hummed softly, setting the hat in his lap and running a hand through his hair. His eyes wandered around a bit before landing on his reflection in the window. Jesse could swear he saw his nose wrinkle up slightly before he looked away. 

“So, uh…what do you usually get here?” he asked, reaching for a menu. “I’ve never been to this place.”

Jesse shrugged, grabbing a menu of his own. “It depends on how I’m feeling, I guess. Sometimes I get soup, sometimes I get sandwiches…they have some pretty good pasta, too.”

“How big are the sizes?” he half-muttered, so quietly that Jesse wasn’t sure he was meant to hear. Before he could say anything, though, Lukas was pointing to a spot on the menu. “Pasta with mushrooms sounds pretty good. I’ll get that.”

Jesse nodded, flipping through his own menu. “What about dessert?”

Lukas hesitated for a moment before shaking his head as he set the menu down. “I’m good. Thanks, though.” 

“Are you sure? There’s some pretty good stuff here.”

He shook his head again, his fingers tapping against the table in some silent rhythm. “I’m sure. Don’t worry about it.”

Jesse nodded, looking back at the menu. He’d get something for himself, and if Lukas did end up wanting some, then he didn’t mind sharing. He settled on a chocolate chip scone, since he hadn’t gotten one when they went to the cafe. 

After the waitress had taken their order, they fell back into that same silence as before, only broken by the sound of chatter from people at other tables. It wasn’t too crowded, but there were more people than there usually were when Jesse came. He wondered why Lukas was so quiet now. He was having a good time, wasn’t he? 

“So,” Jesse started, hoping to bring a little of that spark back, “you’ve said you like writing. What do you like writing about?”

Lukas shrugged, his gaze focused on the table. “Anything, really. I like to write a lot about adventures. It’s…a nice difference from real life.”

“Like fantasy stories?” 

“I guess so. I like poetry, too.”

“Can I read something you’ve written sometime?” he asked, a little excited at the thought. Lukas didn’t seem too confident in his writing, but knowing him, that meant it was probably really good. “As long as you’re okay with it.”

Lukas blinked in surprise, the tips of his ears going a little pink. “Well…I mean…if you want to. It’s just…it’s not really great, though.”

“I’m sure it is. You’re good at a lot of stuff, you know.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, a shy smile on his face as he ran a hand through his hair. “What about you? What do you like doing, aside from beating Axel at video games?” He laughed slightly as he said it, easing some of Jesse’s worry. Maybe he was still enjoying himself. 

“I like taking walks when the weather’s nice. There’s not a lot of nature around here, so it’s usually just around the park, but I don’t mind. I used to go with Reuben a lot.” He smiled sadly at the memory. “We’d walk around the park for a while and then we’d come here. He’d wait outside while I got the food and we’d eat it on the way home. It’s…it’s been a while, though. Now I usually just come inside when I eat here.”

“I’m sorry,” Lukas murmured, glancing up at him. “He sounds like he was a great little pig.”

“Yeah. He was.” Jesse reached out and took Lukas’ hand. “He would’ve really liked you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he repeated, voice soft. “He would’ve.”

He was glad the food arrived when it did. He didn’t want to bring the mood of their date down too much. 

He thanked the waitress before turning his attention to the pasta, appreciating how delicious it smelled before taking a big bite. He glanced at Lukas, watching the way he was just pushing the pasta around with his fork. The scene was familiar, even down to the outfit he was wearing. 

“Remember the first time you came over for dinner?” Jesse asked once he’d swallowed his food. “We had pasta then, too.”

“Oh, yeah. We did.” His voice sounded a little distant, like he was lost in thought as he poked at a mushroom with his fork. There were a few seconds of silence before he spoke again. “I almost told you I loved you that day,” he admitted, glancing up at Jesse before looking back at his food. “When we were playing Mario Kart. I got too nervous and I wound up changing the subject.”

Jesse blinked in surprise, forkful of pasta halfway to his mouth. “Really?” 

He remembered the way Lukas had gone quiet, how cold and bony his hand had been as Jesse held it in his own, how the silence had stretched between them before Lukas had spoken again. That was what he’d wanted to say? 

“You know, I remember thinking it felt like a date, and then being confused because we were just friends.” Jesse laughed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “I really should’ve realized I was in love with you sooner, huh?”

Lukas smiled slightly before his expression turned distant again. He still hadn’t taken a bite, Jesse noticed. He just kept twirling the pasta around his fork, his free hand tapping against the table. He’d gone quiet like this at the coffee shop, too. 

“Hey,” Jesse said, reaching out and laying his hand over Lukas’. “Everything okay?”

Lukas looked up at him then, meeting his eyes for a brief moment before looking down at their hands. He sighed, setting the fork down. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I…I wanted to give you a nice date. Like they have in movies. I just…can’t do this. I thought I could. I’m sorry.”

Jesse shook his head. “It has been a nice date. I’ve had a really good time. But the point of a date is for both of us to enjoy it, so if you’re not having fun…” He intertwined their fingers, giving Lukas’ hand a squeeze. “We don’t have to eat it here, you know. We can take it home and you can eat it when you’re ready.”

Lukas didn’t say anything, though he did rub his thumb along the side of Jesse’s hand slowly. Jesse offered a reassuring smile, reaching out and gently moving Lukas’ hair away from his eyes before continuing. “Let’s go home, yeah? We can finish off our date with a movie and some cuddling.”

He nodded a little, voice quiet. “Yeah, that…that sounds nice.”

Jesse stayed holding his hand as he asked the waitress for boxes. He could tell Lukas still felt bad about the whole thing and he wanted to make sure he knew it was okay. They packed the food and Lukas insisted on paying for it, saying it was the least he could do.  

The cold air outside hit them hard after the warmth of the restaurant. Maybe it was a good time to go home, anyway. It looked like it was about to snow any minute. 

Jesse stood on his toes, pressing a quick kiss to Lukas’ cheek. “Talk to me, dear,” he murmured, hoping the pet name would lift his spirits a little. 

“I just…feel bad for ruining our date. I wanted to do something nice for you and instead I made it all awkward.” He sighed, his breath forming a puff of steam. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no,” Jesse started, voice gentle. He stopped walking, resting a hand on Lukas’ shoulder. “You didn’t ruin anything, Lukas. It’s okay, I understand. Don’t push yourself just because you think it’ll make me happy, yeah? I want you to be happy, too.”

Lukas was quiet for a long few moments before he took a deep breath. “I…yeah. Thanks, Jesse.” He took Jesse’s hand off of his shoulder, kissing the back of it before giving it a little squeeze. “The same goes for you.”

“Thanks, Lukas. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He shivered, looking up at the sky. “C’mon, let’s go home before it starts snowing.”

Jesse shifted the bag of food so he could properly link arms with Lukas. “If you really think about it, we’re having three and a half dates on our first date,” he said as they started walking again. “We went to a cafe, went to the park, went to a restaurant, and now we’re going home to watch a movie.”

Lukas laughed softly. “Yeah, I guess we are. It’s been really nice.”

“It has. I like spending time with you.” 

“Me too.”

The walk back home was perfect, in Jesse’s opinion. They fell back into the easy rhythm of conversation, talking about anything from the new cupcake flavors at Lukas’ job to the goofy things Jesse had done with Axel and Olivia when they were kids. The walk wasn’t long, but it felt even shorter with Lukas by his side. 

When they got back to the apartment, Jesse set the bag of food on the floor for a moment before reaching up to cup Lukas’ cheek. He nuzzled his face into the touch, leaning down as Jesse stood on his toes until their lips met. 

Kissing Lukas was like having a nice mug of cocoa after being in the cold. He was sweet and gentle, his hand coming to rest on Jesse’s back. 

They pulled away to breathe, both looking at each other with the same beaming smile. Jesse would never get tired of seeing Lukas so happy. His nose crinkled a little when he smiled and his eyes sparkled like the stars. It was adorable. 

“Here. Thanks again for letting me use this,” he said, handing Jesse his hat. His hair was a little messed up and Jesse resisted the urge to kiss him again. 

“Any time.” He hung his coat and grabbed the bag of food, carrying it to the kitchen. Olivia was there, washing dishes. She glanced over at him with a smile. 

“Hey. How’d it go?”

“Amazing,” Jesse said, grinning. “Better than amazing.”

“I take it you guys already had lunch?” she asked, gesturing toward the bag as he set it on the table. 

He nodded. “I did, and Lukas said he’ll eat his later, so we brought it with us. What about you?”

“We had sandwiches. Axel got up around an hour ago and we were playing Mario Kart, but I kept beating him.”

Jesse laughed, shaking his head. “That definitely sounds like Axel. Anyway, Lukas and I are gonna watch a movie, if you guys wanna join.”

“Sure. I’m almost done with the dishes if you want to set it up, and I can get Axel when I finish.”

“Sounds good!” He smiled, making his way back to the living room. Lukas was crouched near the sofa, petting a purring Dewey. He’d taken his sweater off, keeping just his plain white button-down with the sleeves rolled up. Jesse couldn’t resist walking over to him and kissing the top of his head while he had the chance. 

He glanced up, a look of surprise on his face that quickly melted into a soft smile. “Hey.”

“Hey. I’m gonna set the movie up. Did you have anything in mind?”

He shook his head, gently scratching behind Dewey’s ears. “Nah, as long as it’s not something sad or scary.”

“It wouldn’t be scary anyway. We don't watch horror movies anymore after the time I freaked out and got popcorn everywhere.” Jesse laughed a little. “We were finding pieces in the couch cushions for a week after that.”

Lukas covered his mouth as he snorted. “I can believe that. But really, I don’t mind whatever you pick.”

Jesse hummed a bit, looking through their selection. He wanted to pick something that all of them would enjoy. He settled for an old favorite of his, something he and Axel and Olivia had seen dozens of times. He wondered if Lukas had ever seen it. 

He set everything up, grabbing the remote and a blanket and sitting down. Lukas gave Dewey one more little kiss before sitting next to him, and Jesse wasted no time in draping the blanket over him, too. He settled against his side, smiling as Lukas wrapped an arm around his shoulder. 

“We brought some popcorn,” Olivia said as she came back, Axel following close behind with the bowl. 

“Everyone knows it’s not really a movie without popcorn.” He sat next to Jesse, holding the bowl out. “I added some candy, too.”

“Awesome! Thanks, guys. You’re the best.”

They settled in to watch the movie, Jesse muttering along to his favorite parts under his breath. He smiled each time he felt the movement of Lukas’ shoulder beneath his head when he laughed. He even took some of the popcorn when Jesse offered. 

It had been a perfect first date, he decided, pressing the smallest kiss to Lukas’ shoulder before turning his attention back to the movie.

As silly as it seemed, a small part of him had always believed it when the movies talked about true love. He was glad he’d finally found his.