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Chapter Text

Loud screaming is all Sirius hears when he stops singing for a second. He lets the voices and the energy float through his body. Its the opening Night in Chicago of their second World Tour and he never felt more alive than right here & right now. 
A man made for the stage through and through. 

Just one more tear to cry, one teardrop from my eye

You better save it for The middle of the night when things aren't black and white 

Enter, Troubadour 

"Remember 24?"

Its been 2 years since the first ever Tour of The Marauders and its so good to be back. Especially because Remus is now here with them doing an amazing job as their drummer and Sirius still cant believe everything worked out the way it is now. Someone should definitely tell little him that writing lyrics at night under a blanket with a small lamp into an old scatchbook and shaking hands is definitely worth the punishments he got everytime his Mother caught him. Sirius still remembers every "you are never gonna achieve anything" or "dreams are just dreams" he heard his parents scream at him. Its the most amazing feeling to know they were wrong and are definitely still hearing about his success in the news. Sirius almost wants to scream look at me you bitch of a mother. 

Instead he lets his focus go completely back to his music and everything thats happening around him. 

And when Im back in Chicago,

i feel it. Another version of me. 

I was in it. 

i wave goodbye to the end of beginning.

Sirius loves to hear how good his voice blends with the voices of his boys. Background vocals. 

As well as he loves the talent and pleasent sound of James and his guitar. Impressive just like Peter on the keyboard.

And like every show Sirius has to make an strong effort to keep his eyes straight ahead to the crowd and not to get distracted by Remus stunning drummer skills. His boyfriend is just simple jaw-droppping on stage every fucking time and pulls Sirius gaze on him like a magnet. Which is obviosly being recorded and on every single social media platform at the end of the day. Not that anyone minds tho but he is tired of Mary who happens to be his manager calling him and insisting its not that hard to look for 2 hours adoringly at his fans instead of his super hot boyfriend who he can look at any other time of the day anyway. So Sirius tries strongly but fails a lot. Remus just finds this very funny and loves to tease Sirius with showing him the videos the fans recorded of them and posted online. 

This song has started now, and you're just finding out 

Isn't that a laugh?  A major sacrifice, but clueless at the time 

Enter, Caroline 

"Just trust me, you'll be fine"

The last few verses of the song and it'll be over for today. Those 2 hours always fly by. Its like they go on stage wave hello and 1 blink later they gotta wave goodbye already. So Sirius tries to enjoy every minute of it. It feels so unreal to look in the crowd and see over fifty thousand faces look back at him. Sometimes well actually a lot of times even crying faces. People sobbing because of the band or is it the music? Sirius has never really been sure what it is exactly that draws people in and why his Band is loved by so many wonderful humans out there. He is content by saying he just got lucky. For once in his life. But Sirius would go and hug them all in a heartbeat if he could. Not as easy as said tho. Once time him & Remus met a Girl in the store which started sobbing out of nowhere and Sirius went to hug her and then she wouldnt let go of him. Glinging to him for a very long time. Even tho by now all 4 of them are used to behavior like this certain memories still make him feel uneasy about simple going out of the house. 

And when Im back in chicago, I feel it 

Another version of me, I was in it 

I wave goodbye to the end of beginning    (Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye) 

You take the man out of the city, not the city out the man 

You take the man out of the city, not the city out the man 

You take the man out of the city, not the city out the man 

You take the man out of the- 

Sirius lets his eyes observe the massive crowd in front of him one last time while the melody is still everywhere around him. He looks down to the people in the pit, the ones that are the closest to the stage. Trying to wave and smile  as much as he can. He loves the joy on the people faces. He loves knowing he is no longer a disappointment and is genuinely liked. Every show is such a cofidence boost he could cry of happyness. 

Suddenly tho his gaze lingers on a very familiar looking face in the middle of so many people. The person meets his his eyes and Sirius feels his throat go dry. 

This- This can't be- 

His heart starts beating so fast Sirius almost feels dizzy. He would recognize those black curls and grey eyes with sharp figures everywhere. Its basically like looking at a younger version of himself. 

In every Lifetime and every scenario out there Sirius  would recognize his sibling. Reg- Here in chicago?  Do they even still go by Regulus? Sirius doesn't even know that.  He knows nothing about them anymore. What the hell i going on here? Sirius can barely breathe as he tries to sing the last verse while looking at the person from his past. 

And when Im back in chicago, I feel it 

Another version of me, I was in it 

Oh, I wave goodbye to the end of beginning 

(Goodbye, Goodbye) 

One last time Sirius drinks up the sight of his sibling. Every other face around them full of excitement and screaming but Reg's face is blank and shows no emotion. Hard to read like always. 

He feels Remus touch his back slightly, signaling its time to leave the stage. 

Sirius stumbles backstage without doing his usual goodbye round of waving. His mind is spiralling. 

Chapter Text

Regulus Pov 

Regulus hurries through the mass of people as fast as he can. As if Sirius himself was chasing him from behind. Which is ridiculous to think. Regulus hates himself for secretly wishing that his brother would give a slight damn about him. Regulus isn't exactly sure if he has hallucinated or if Sirius has really looked him straight in the eyes. Has Sirius regonized him? That also seems very unlikely cause Regulus knows he looks very diffrent from the last time Sirius has seen him. Which he is kinda proud of. Doesn't change the fact tho that people have staring at him weirdly the whole evening, probably because of his similarity to the lead singer on stage. In the past as Sirius' "sister" they looked alike and now as Man, Regulus looks even more like Sirius than ever. Fuck those black genes honestly. 

Finally he manages to get outside through this narrow space and takes a deep breath of fresh air. As far as he can look are people. Literally everywhere. Some of them dont even look like they plan to leave. Regulus sees groups of girls sprinting in diffrent directions around the arena. What is going on here? He lowkey regrets the decision to even come. Also how on earth is Dorcas ever gonna find a way to pick him up in this mess? Regulus goes back to the now closed entrance of the arena. Where it seems less crowded.  Anxiously fidgeting with his hands and just standing there minding his own business waiting for Dorcas to magically appear until a girl's voice is suddenly right next to him. 

"Hello there. You are not from here are you? Never seen someone as pretty as you around. Well maybe Sirius" And he is fucked. The giggles from behind her tells that there are at least 4 more girls circling him. The dysphoria also comes crashing from the word pretty. Which is honestly not their fault cause its a nice meant compliment but Regulus prefers more masc stuff like handsome anyway. Pretty makes him hear his mothers voice in his head. 

"Pretty girls don't cry"       "Pretty girls don't eat more than one piece of cake"      "Pretty girls dont hide their body. They show off"  but of course not too much otherwise it would be considered as " acting like a slut"  and sentences like this could go on forever.  

The girl stares at him at him waiting for a reply. Does she want a compliment back? Does she want him to say where he is from? Regulus could slap himself across the face for having so excellent social skills. So he takes the easy way out. Acting like he is not fluent in english. 

"S'il te plaît laisse moi seul" and wants to start walking away when a not so gently hand on his arm holds him back. What the fuck. Instead of rage he feels panic coming up. Like it does everytime with physical contact. Just before Regulus can go into defensive mode another very familiar voice breaks the tension and makes him gasp. "Good evening Ladies. Very not sorry but this one has to come with me" and a firm "hands off" Barty gently put fast guides Regulus with him before he can even say anything. "Your prince has come to save you. You are welcome" He wants to whip the grin off Bartys. "What the hell are you even doing in chicago? You are supposed to be in England right now" Regulus crumbles. "Obviously I couldn't just leave you alone in this big city. But if you really wanna know, Dorcas called me to look after you." Regulus just rolls his eyes "My friends talking and making plans behind my back. Thinking I can't take care of myself. This evening can't get worse. Im grown up for fucks sake"  "Dramatic much" Barty jokes. "No I didn't even wanna bring Dorcas but she insisted and now you are here as well and how I know my idiots of friends Evan can't be far away either" Regulus scowls. "Thats damn right. Evan was the one who tracked your phone and sent me to come get you and let me remind you of how you haven't even thanked me yet." throws Barty in. Only to get ignored by Regulus whose thoughts drift back to the concert. Seeing Sirius again in front of him was well an experience. It would be a Lie to say Sirius makes shit music and awful shows. Sirius was made for a Life like this and it was good to see him beaming with happiness. It makes the stabbing pain in his chest bearable. The last time he saw Sirius was 2 years ago when he and his Band played  in France. It was a spontan decision back then to go see his brother perform. Sirius seemed far more nervous and anxious back then. Now he is confident, wild and basically just himself. Regulus would never admit out loud that his heart is filled with pride he feels for Sirius whenever he hears about him in the news. Very suprising to see was that The Marauders got a new drummer and Regulus has definitely noticed how that Man looks at Sirius. Like he would steal the whole Stars from the sky for him. Nice to know Sirius has someone that loves him (hopefully) like he deserves. Its a proof that Blacks are able to be loved. So Regulus is pretty sure he is the problem by now or maybe always has been.  Also he noticed that their Guitarist Justin? He honestly didn't bother to remember the names of the Bandmates of his brother. But anyway the guitarist got hotter in Regulus opinion. Not that it matters or as if he would ever tell anyone but Regulus found him already nice to look at 2 years ago and today was confirmation that the guitarist got indeed hotter. With his skilled fingers- 

A hand in front of his face interrupts his thoughts. "Hello earth on Reg. You still in there?" Barty tries to cheer his friend up a bit but "Sod off" clearly says its not working. Finally tho Regulus can see the Hotel and Dorcas waving at them. 

Sirius Pov

Sirius walks in quick steps ahead of the others but hears James and Peter talking loudly behind him probably about the show. But feels Remus worried gaze on him. Sometimes he hates that Remus reads him like an open book and immediately notices every slight change of his behavior. Damn it. Back in the Bands common room Sirius hurries in the bathroom to catch his breath. He leans back against the door and looks at his reflection in the mirror above the sink. Sweaty with smudget make up and his hair sticking to his forehead. Where even did his eyeliner go? Pandora always does a great job as stylist for him. And the outfits she picks out for them is like she can read minds. Sirius really appreciates her. Like any other show but today might've just changed his Life forever. Not to be dramatic. 

A soft knock on the bathroom door pulls Sirius out of his thoughts. "You alright love? Can I come in ? Driver is coming in 10." Remus calm and gentle voice might be one of the things Sirius loves the most about him. Probably because of growing up around  screaming and nasty language around children. Sighing he unlocks the door and is confronted with the distressed face of his boyfriend. Without a word Sirius leans against his chest. Wishing he could build himself a home in Remus heart and hide there for a while. Remus wraps his arms around him comforting. James and Peter seem to finally notice that something is not as usual and stop their chattering to scan the pair. "What happened?" asks Remus hesitant. He is never sure if Sirius is gonna talk or shut down completely and leave them all to figure it out until he is ready to tell. "Whats up with him?" Peter shruggs. "You nailed it out there man. No need to overthink something now".  "Im not overthinking. I know Im amazing" mumbles Sirius into Remus shirt. 

"I saw someone again. Today in the crowd.  Someone I never thought I'd see again." 

"An Ex?" Peter asks interested. Sirius feels Remus tense his hold. 

"I would think your parents but you said theres no way in hell they would ever step a foot into something like this"  

"Very funny James. If it was my parents I would've already booked a flight the next end of the earth. But it was someone I grew up with though" 

"Wait you mentioned once. Other child of your parents" adds James. 

"Other child of- What? You mean brother? Sister?" Remus is so confused right now. 

"Its complicated" Which gained even more confused looks. 

Sirius feels unsure with himself. Its been 6 years since he left his past behind and talking about it is well not the easiest thing for him. Even Remus doesn't know most of it and they've been dating for almost 3 years. James is the only one he ever let properly in for the most part. But also because James saw a lot of it with his own eyes back in childhood times in the uk. Back then just little kids, neighbours by lucky accident. Through James he was able to survive. Without James Sirius doesn't where and who he would be today. Also through James he was able to find a decent therapist who really helped Sirius to deal with the shadows of his past. Of course Remus gentleness and patience and love healed parts of his soul he didn't even know could be fixed. And Remus is alwas so fucking calm and collected. Sirius can scream and leash out and Remus would just say "Are you done?" but not in a mocking way. Its so annoying when all he wants is to have Remus scream back at him and be mean to him because deep down Sirius still thinks thats exactly what he deserves instead of endless love and kindness. But seems like Remus made it to his Life purpose being Sirius own personal piece of heaven every single day.  

Chapter Text

They got a call the driver was waiting by the back door to drive them safely to the hotel before anyone could continue the conversation. The Marauders picked up their stuff to carry it outside. James and Peter went fast ahead probably very ready for a good night of sleep after recent events. Sirius was not that much in a hurry but picked up his bag anyway while trying to avoid Remus who obviously waiting for him. Looking very cute in his black skinny jeans and tank top. Something he would never wear outside and off stage. But its summer,very hot and the rockstar vibe has to be there. From all of them. Sirius might be born this way and Remus is doing a good job as well most of the time but Pandora has a handfull with styling Peter and James. Thats for sure.  

"Listen I'll tell you later okay? Its really some complicated stuff"   

"Okay" 

"You are just gonna say okay and nothing else? " 

"Well besides that we should hurry because I'm sure James is gonna appear in less than 2 minutes to drag us out here himself, scared we are gonna start shagging. I think the rest can wait until the hotel to be talked about."  

"Yeah alright come on" Sirius slips his hand into Remus' one as they walk to down the halls to the car. The first breeze of fresh air feels awesome and the stars can already be seen on the sky. Its a very nice night of may in chicago. They both go inside the van on the backseat with James and Peter with their driver in the front. 

"Thank god I thought we gotta wait the next 15 minutes until you two are done" 

"James stop acting traumatized. We are not even that bad. Not my fault you are not getting laid" 

James lets out a dramatic gasp "Excuse me. You do realize I'm famous and can't even walk into a store here without getting way too much attention. I'm pretty sure a one night stand would be in the news not even two hours after it happend. I can already see that headline James Potter Member of the so well known Band The Marauders just got exposed (Literally). Its sooo hard and now dont start snogging next to me or I'll actually leave this driving car." 

Even Peter chuckles in the front and Remus just rolls his eyes at James. "You are ridiculous" 

"You know I'm right" 

"Aww my poor Jamie boy dont be crumpy. Moony and I always have a place for you in our bed in case you get lonely at night" Sirius teases and leans his head against James shoulder. 

"No we don't" Remus tries to pull Sirius back to his side but he stays cuddled up against James. 

"Moony my love we can't let my best friend die single just because he is all good looks with money and blaming it on the fame" Sirius giggles. "Who knows maybe if you didn't appear James and I could be married be now" 

"Yeah nope" James huffs out. 

"As if James would ever marry someone like you" comes from the front seat. 

Sirius gasps shocked "What do you mean by that Peter? Care to explain? Look at me, I'm from y'alls deepest wet dreams. The rest of the world agrees" 

Remus shrugs "Well the rest of the world only knows your looks and not the real you. But if they would I'm not so sure about the wet dreams"

"Oh you hurt my heart moons" He grabs his chest like it would hurt for real. 

"I'm saying that James Type is basically the opposite of you. Someone who is not loud and someone who probably  likes to read and drink tea instead of vodka. You two wouldn't last two minutes as couple" 

“I think Pete is right. You two are too much alike. It would not work out well” 

“And most important I don’t wanna date Sirius???!!” 

“Well in another Life Jamie” Sirius winks at him “So where do we find someone like that ?” 
 
“Wait James. Men or women?” 

“He doesn’t care Moony. He is not picky apparently” 

“Yeah I think if I like someone I like someone. But like I dont wanna sleep around you know? Thats not much of my thing” 

“See I told you he is not getting laid.” Sirius tries to whisper into Remus’ ear

”Can y’all just shut up and leave me alone. Don’t have time right now anyway for dating” 

“But I’m lead singer and I’m dating?”

”Remus is in the Band. It doesn’t count obviously. He travels with us and all that stuff” 

“I’m dating too. And it works” 

“See listen to Peter. We gonna find you someone nice. Someone you can do all your romantic stuff with. Trust me James” Sirius pocks his cheek. 

“Yeah whatever” 

Quietness came over the van. Sirius snuggles back against Remus Side and James leans like Peter towards the window. 

The Van comes to a stop at a traffic light just before the Hotel. Sirius looks out the window across the street to a nearby parking lot and suddenly sees very similar looking  black curls and freezes. He jumps close to the window and squints his eyes together in attempt to see better. Remus looks at him startled and tries to follow his boyfriends' gaze. 

"Huh? What's going on? Who's there?" But in this moment the traffic light turns green and their car drives off. Sirius sinks back to Remus side. 

"Nothing. Just thought I saw someone. Might started to have hallucinations at this point".