Chapter Text
Within the space of two hours, Carmy decided to function like a normal person after today. Now awake, he took a shower and changed into some clean clothes. Carmy finally settled the noise coming from his belly by digging into the Subway sandwich that Richie got him. The chicken schnitzel was dry and the bread was still so dense but Carmy allowed his inner eight-year-old to still enjoy the meal. Paired with a Coke can that was still in his fridge, he figured that since he felt like shit, he was excused for eating more shit. Carmy finished the sub easily in a few minutes and downed the rest of his sugary drink. The burp that followed came from the painful depths of heartburn.
Carmy remembered to take Sydney’s phone out of his jacket. He quickly checked the screen and saw a few text messages but it wasn’t his place to reply to them. He was going to make sure to give her phone back tomorrow morning. By the time it was midnight, Carmy switched off the TV and downed some Pepto Bismol. He brushed his teeth before sitting on his bed. Scrolling through some final messages, he switched on his alarm and connected the charger to his phone. Lying down, Carmy yawned before staring up at the ceiling.
The noises of the city were distant just like thoughts. His brain could melt into a puddle after the stressful blur that was today. The only thing that remained in sharp focus was Sydney. She could still be sleeping or she could’ve woken up by now, bewildered by how she ended up in a hospital bed. Carmy leaned over to check his phone but there was no sign of the hospital contacting him about an update. He forced his head back on the pillow again. His fingers were tapping against his chest, fighting the urge to check his phone every minute or at any moment that sounded like a vibration.
The next time he turned to look at his phone, it had only been five long minutes. The screen was still empty. Carmy rolled back on his pillow with a frustrated groan. He just had to go to sleep so that the morning would arrive quickly. The sooner he went to sleep, the sooner he could see Sydney again. Carmy covered his face with his hands. It was goddamn useless. He knew that during sleepless nights, he would resort to sending messages on his phone. Of course, the usual recipient of said messages happened to be the one currently in hospital. He even had her phone on the kitchen counter.
Not having Sydney within reach both online and in-person was taking a toll on him. If he couldn’t deal with this for half a day, Carmy didn’t want to even imagine how he’d cope if she was going to be away for days, weeks, or months because of her possible illness. Sydney was a constant and a fixture of the Bear. He knew there was a time before she joined the Original Beef. It was a lot lonelier and seemed like an impossible mountain to climb. It made Carmy sick to his stomach to think of there being a future without Sydney in the picture anymore.
He wasn’t sure when he finally drifted off to sleep but it felt too soon for the alarm to already be ringing. Carmy clumsily reached for his phone to turn off the obnoxious beeping. Pulling it off the charger, he blinked and squinted at the screen which read 6:00 am. It was another two hours till the hospital’s visiting hours would open. Carmy sat up with a yawn and moved off his bed to start getting ready for the day.
He took another shower and changed into jeans and a different sweater. Carmy felt like foregoing breakfast but he realized it was still too early to start traveling to the hospital. To kill some time, he opted for making a quick omelet. Peering into the fridge, he made a mental note to buy more eggs before heading home. After a few minutes, Carmy plated up his breakfast and set it on the table.
He stared at it for a second until he got the idea to search the cupboards. He pulled out a half-eaten packet of sour cream and chives crisps. It didn’t have ridges but Carmy still crushed a handful of them over the omelet. Tucking the packet away, he took his plate and cutlery to the couch and switched on the TV to listen to the morning news in the background. Carmy dug into his breakfast and managed a smile at the complementary textures of crunch and fluffiness. He allowed himself twenty-five minutes to eat his food, clean up, and brush his teeth before turning off the TV and heading out the door.
The cool Chicago air accompanied Carmy on his walk to the station. There were some delays this morning but he managed to make his connecting trains before hopping off to walk the rest of the way to the hospital. It was 8:11 am when he saw the hospital up the road. He entered the building and greeted a different nurse named Hannah who provided him with another visitor’s pass. He took the same path towards Sydney’s room.
As soon as Carmy walked in, his eyes zoned in on the bouquet on the bedside table. It was a pink and red batch of peony flowers held together with purple wrapping. Carmy was suddenly struck by a weird sensation in his chest. It was a hot rush like…anger? Why the hell would a bunch of flowers piss him off? In the back of his mind, he reluctantly recalled Emmanuel’s questioning about a boyfriend during last night’s call. Was this the first sign of this mysterious man in Sydney’s life?
Carmy’s opinion on the flowers soured at that thought. Were they even helpful given her current condition? He was pretty sure that some flowers triggered Sydney’s hay fever. His eyes landed on the accompanying card standing up next to the bouquet. Carmy folded his arms over his chest as if entering a stand-off with this piece of cardboard. Maybe it was to restrain his hands from checking the card out of pure nosiness. He wasn’t going to be that person. Carmy turned his body towards Sydney, trying to return his attention to her. Yet, it only lasted for a minute until he snatched the card up and read it.
To my sweetpea Syd, rest up and get better soon!
Love from Dad.
Carmy’s shoulders dropped in relief and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The flowers were just from Sydney’s dad. He must’ve dropped by super early or maybe immediate family were permitted to come in outside of visiting hours. So, there probably wasn’t a boyfriend unless he was going to show up out of the blue later today. It struck Carmy that maybe he could ask the nurse if any other visitors besides Sydney’s dad came in. He glanced at her sleeping form. “Morning, Syd. I know I just got here but I’ll be right back in a second.”
After closing the door behind him, Carmy began walking towards the nurses' station. He was only a few steps in before his phone started ringing. Carmy stopped in his place to see Sugar’s name flash on the screen. He answered it. “What’s up?”
“Morning, Bear.” Nat’s voice sounded so gentle, acting as if she just woke him up. “Are you still at your apartment?”
“Uh, no.” Carmy stared at the ground. “I’m back at the hospital.”
“How’s Sydney?”
He was too tired to go into the specifics again of her diagnosis. “She hasn’t woken up yet. Hopefully, later today, she will.”
There was a sound of papers being shuffled before Nat sighed. “Carm, I’m really sorry to do this now but we have to think ahead. We were closed for the whole of yesterday and we only have dinner service tonight. Are you going to be coming in?”
Carmy pinched the bridge of his nose. He was dreading this conversation which was part of the reason why he didn’t reply to any of Nat’s messages last night. It felt wrong to go back to work knowing that Sydney wouldn’t be there to help steer the ship. It felt like he’d be operating without a limb or worse yet, a heart. His chest was about to cave in with the realization that left him vulnerable. “I don’t know if I can do it without her.”
Her brother’s admission left her stunned. It only pained Nat to see how affected Carmy was by this. How scared he was. She had to push through for them. “I know this isn’t ideal but we have to keep going. You’ve gone through heaps of services before that have been worse. We can shuffle around the brigade and someone else will be able to step in for Sydney’s place tonight.”
“But Sydney isn’t just someone else.” Carmy’s voice bounced off the walls. He glanced around him, suddenly conscious of his volume.
“I know – Carmy, you know what I’m trying to say. Sydney is irreplaceable.” Nat paused to emphasize her point. “I know that. But The Bear is replaceable in the eyes of business and finance.” She tapped her pen on the table. “At the very least, we could maybe skip tonight’s service but we can’t afford to stop running the restaurant for as long as Sydney’s in the hospital. We need you here.” Her voice dissolved into a plea. “We have to do this for her.”
He knew his sister was thinking rationally for them in this situation. For that, he was truly grateful but Carmy just couldn’t shift into that logical gear. Between the sleep deprivation and the emotional turmoil over Sydney’s health, his heart was absolutely winning the brawl over his head. His emotions were clouding every attempt at thinking things through. “I’ll let you know in an hour if I’m coming in.” That was the least that Carmy could do as a compromise.
“Okay.” Nat accepted it. “Just message us and I’ll send Richie to come pick you up. Oh, and Carmy?”
He sat down on one of the waiting chairs in the hallway. “Yeah?”
“Sydney’s gonna be okay.” Her voice was firm with confidence. “Richie told me about her possible condition. We just have to remember that the doctors will try their best to help her get better. All of us at the Bear will also help her in every way possible. The point is that she’s not alone and neither are you. Alright? We’ll get through this shitty patch together.”
“I appreciate that.” Carmy swallowed to compose his shaky voice. “I’ll see you later, hopefully. Love you, Nat.”
“Love you too.” Her warm smile was felt through the phone. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
The siblings said bye and hung up their phones. Carmy rested his head back against the wall. He had to get his mind in check before the afternoon so he could pull his weight for The Bear. Correction. He was going to have to pull his and Sydney’s weight for service tonight. It was going to be a lot but it had to be done. That was going to be tonight’s problem but right now, he needed a fucking smoke. Carmy stood up and headed for the exit.
The sound of monotonous beeps first filled her ears. It was followed by shuffling footsteps that seemed to be to her right side. Everything felt sore and stiff as she tried to move a muscle. Her fingers curled against the bed and a groan crawled from her dry throat. Sydney’s eyes finally fluttered open.
The blurred figure of a nurse in pink scrubs scrambled across the room as she called out from the door for someone to page Doctor Donovan. Sydney shifted on the bed to try and sit up. Her eyes came into focus after blinking and the nurse rushed to her side.
“It’s good to see you awake, Miss. Adamu. I’m Nurse Hannah.” She adjusted Sydney’s pillow. “The doctor will be with you shortly.”
She cleared her throat. “Is my dad here?”
“He was here earlier. He said he’d be back after lunchtime.” Hannah walked around her bed to check the machines and IV drip attached to her. “In the meantime, your boyfriend is here visiting. He just stepped outside but he’ll be back.”
Sydney was still so groggy that it took her a second longer to register what the nurse said at the end. “My what?”