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“The way he looks at me, like I’m the greatest thing to ever walk on this earth, I just want to store away in my memory, so that every time I doubt it, or just misses him like crazy, I can get reminded of how much he really loves me.
He looks at me like he needs me, not in a “I need you like I need water kind of way”, the need simply just goes deeper than that. Like I’m his oxygen, and he simply can’t exist without me.
There’s not even a second of doubt in my mind, that that’s the way I feel about him too. I just hope he knows that. I hope that Derek knows that I love him, more than I’ve ever loved anything before.
I know I talk about him like he’s still here, but don’t worry, I’m not delusional, I know he’s gone. Or at least his body is.
He’s still with me though, in everything I do, he’s there, like he should have been.
Our love was special, it is special and something as superficial as death can’t separate us. When we said our I do’s, we promised to love each other ‘till death do us apart, so I guess we lied that day. To everyone but each other.
Death can’t do us apart.
He will be with me as I will be with him, forever and always. The day that infinity runs out, that’s the day we’ll stop loving each other. So I guess never then and for that I am grateful.
Rest in peace Derek and may you feel how much I love you every single day, even though we can’t be together.”
When Stiles was done saying his eulogy there was dead silence. He hadn’t really told anyone how much he loved Derek before, at least not in that many words, but they needed to know.
Everyone needed to know how he felt, how he feels about Derek, his husband, his soulmate, the other half of him that was now missing. Derek deserved that.
The rest of the funeral went by in a blur and frankly Stiles was fine with it. He couldn’t wait to get home, lay in their bed, try to breathe in the last traces of scent of Derek on his pillow, and start crying.
He was just afraid if he started, he would never be able to stop again.