Chapter Text
It was the Valkyries' first Solstice at the River House, and Gwyn was impressed by the effort put into making it a magical spectacle. Of course, with it being the High Lady's birthday as well, nothing less was expected. Rhys fawned over Feyre, showering her with gifts and affection. Gwyn had never been celebrated like that on her birthday.
There was love, of course, but rarely gifts, so she didn't feel like she was missing out there. The priestesses didn't believe in them, opting for a life free from attachments to material possessions. That's why she never wore the necklace she received from 'a friend'. She felt no connection to it. The only items that held meaning for her were her friendship bracelet and a few books.
Affection, though. She missed that... a lot.
While growing up, receiving it from her mother, sister, and other priestesses was enough, but now there was a different desire, a strange new need— which had been growing for some time now.
She wanted someone excited to spend time with her and celebrate her. Someone to share her body and soul with. She was ready for it. And the countless smutty romances she read didn't help. She was wound up like a spring, eager for release. She needed to get out more, meet some males... maybe find love.
Nesta had suggested the pleasure halls, but alcohol and establishing boundaries didn't seem to mix. She needed a male who understood her need to be in control if they had sex, at least for the first time. She'd rather meet new people in sober environments, like a café or gallery. Maybe that would be her New Year's resolution: to put herself out there.
She nodded affirmatively to herself and knocked back the champagne she'd been cradling for too long. Once she emptied her glass, she went to grab another.
Half paying attention, her fingers brushed against the cool, rough ridges of a hand she knew well.
"Sorry, shadowsinger. After you," she said, retracting her hand from the same glass he was reaching for.
He didn't say anything, just picked it up and handed it to her before grabbing another one for himself. She nodded a thanks as he downed his and went for another.
"Bad night?" she quipped, observing as he effortlessly drank glass after glass of Rhysand’s finest champagne.
"About to be," he answered flatly before turning his attention toward the centre of the room where most of his family were situated, just finishing up the present portion of the evening.
Gwyn had received some thoughtful and practical gifts she would use: exotic spices from Emerie, romance books from Nesta and Cassian, and a reading faelight from Azriel, the same one he had given Nesta that Emerie and herself often tried to steal.
She didn’t have enough money herself to buy anything, so she had sung as a gift before dinner.
It seemed like something everyone enjoyed immensely, including Azriel's shadows, which danced around her during each tune. Feyre had cried, grabbing her for a tight hug when she finished. Rhysand had insisted it became a tradition and joked that Azriel would join her next year. She flushed slightly at the thought, remembering back to the previous Solstice when she’d asked him about his singing abilities. She thought it would be nice to have a duet partner for future events and made a mental note to tease him into submission for next year.
Someone clinked their glass lightly to grab everyone's attention.
"This will be quick. I promise," Elain said in her airy voice. "As you know, my mate has been very patient with me, allowing me the time to get to know him as my dearest friend before becoming my greatest love..."
Lucien grabbed her left hand, kissing the engagement ring he had placed there only a few weeks ago.
Elain turned to Lucien, gazing adoringly at him. "My love. Starting a new tradition, I actually got you a gift this year!"
A couple of people laughed, but she had no idea why that was funny.
Elain let go of his hand to reach for a small square slice of Feyre's birthday cake and stood before Lucien with her offering.
"My handsome mate, please accept this food as a token that I wish to accept our bond."
Lucien looked like he was going to cry, grabbing the sides of Elain's face to place a passionate kiss on her lips before stepping back to look at the cake in her hand.
"Right here?" he quipped, and another burst of laughter, especially from Cassian, rang through the room.
Gwyn guessed he had the mating frenzy on his mind.
Elain laughed. "Just eat the cake, Lucien!"
He chuckled and opened his mouth so she could feed him. All their family and friends cheered, offering the mates their congratulations… except for Azriel.
"What’s the matter, shadowsinger? Do you have an aversion to love?"
He snickered, taking a healthy sip of champagne before answering. "Just hard being surrounded by it."
She could certainly agree with that. Nesta and Cassian were not discreet with their affections, and Emerie and Mor were like horny teenagers since they started dating. Training was literally foreplay for the couples. And she wasn’t afraid to admit she was jealous.
Some of the other priestesses had started to date too, which irked her a little more. She was the first priestess to sign up for training, she was the first one to become a Valkyrie, and now others were going to surpass her in allowing males back into their world. That would end in the new year. Love, and sex, had to be waiting for her; she just had to go find it.
"At least we have each other to keep company," Gwyn quipped, raising her glass toward him. He chuckled, taking another sip. With centuries of tolerance under his belt, he was already multiple glasses ahead of her, while she felt a pleasant buzz after just one and a half.
He smirked in response. "Don't go falling in love, and you can stay my friend!"
"Friendship with conditions, how appealing!" Gwyn laughed, enjoying their banter as always. There was something about Azriel that brought out a playful side of her that few others ever saw.
"Seriously, Berdara. My shadows know a lot of secrets, including yours!" he teased, squinting at her with mock suspicion.
Gwyn feigned surprise. Of course, a spymaster would hoard secrets like treasure. "Enlighten me," she retorted with a grin.
"You're looking for a ‘special’ someone," he whispered, leaning a little closer than usual, perhaps courtesy of the alcohol. Despite herself, she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. She wondered how they’d figured it out. Maybe they could read minds!
"Tell them they're busybodies!" she exclaimed, shooting a stern look at the shadows lurking from behind his wings.
They dispersed in a flurry of movement as he replied with a smirk, "They already know that."
She chuckled, the sound low and teasing. "So, what if I am! You can’t expect me to be alone forever. And I'll never meet anyone hiding in the library."
Azriel's dark eyes sparkled with mischief. "You met me."
A slow, suggestive grin curled her lips. "True. But I want to meet someone who I can... train in other areas with!"
His smirk deepened, a playful glint in his eyes. "I hear I'm a good teacher."
A rush of heat flooded her cheeks, and she leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a husky whisper. "Are you propositioning me?"
His responding chuckle sent shivers down her spine. "Depends on your answer."
Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed into his smouldering eyes. "Let's say I was interested... what would our first lesson include?" Each word dripped with anticipation, her pulse quickening with every passing moment, the champagne giving her the courage to be more flirtatious than usual.
Azriel leaned impossibly close now to whisper in her ear, his breath hot against her as he listed all the filthy things she’d only read about in her books. She blushed uncontrollably as he told her what he planned to do with his fingers, his tongue… his cock. And she wanted it… all of it. Gwyn's heart raced as Azriel's words stirred a fire within her, igniting desires she had hoped would spark again.
As he pulled back, the air around them seemed charged, and she found herself unable to tear her gaze away from his piercing eyes.
With a shaky breath, she took a step closer to him, her voice barely above a whisper. "We should leave then," she managed to rasp out, her mind swirling with a heady mix of excitement and nervousness.
Azriel's smirk widened as he reached out to take her hand, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through her veins. No one would miss them. Everyone was already coupled off in dark corners doing gods knows what anyways.
As they walked towards the front door, Gwyn's thoughts raced, her mind consumed by the tantalising possibilities of what awaited them. She couldn't believe she was about to have sex with Azriel! Sure, they liked flirting with each other, but he never gave her any indication that he wanted anything more. And she certainly wasn’t going to tell him that she had a huge crush on him for months.
Once outside, it was just a few more steps until they passed the wards, and they could winnow back to the House of Wind… to Azriel’s bedroom. He turned to face her, his gaze still intense as he reached toward her to gently brush a lock of hair away from her face.
"Gwyn," he murmured, his voice low and husky, sending shivers down her spine. "Are you sure about this?" All teasing was gone, as if he’d sobered up to what they’d just agreed to do.
But she knew without a doubt that this was what she wanted, and that Azriel would be the perfect teacher. With a nod, she leaned in closer, her lips hovering just inches away from his.
"I've never been more sure of anything," she whispered, her voice filled with a raw hunger that matched his own.
In a rush of heat and desire, their lips met in a searing kiss. Time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in each other, the world around them fading away until there was only the two of them, consumed by the flames of passion, surrounded by a shield of shadows. Azriel gripped her waist as she ran her hands over his chest, feeling his heart thundering like her own.
As they finally broke apart, he took her hand once more, and together they disappeared into the dark, reappearing just outside the House of Wind wards. Azriel smoothly flew them down, and they raced to his bedroom in a flurry of kisses and touches.
Once inside, Gwyn's heart pounded in her chest as she stood before him, her body trembling with nervous excitement. She made her way straight for his bed, letting the buzz of champagne fuel her confidence. Azriel's eyes bore into hers, stalking her across the room. He seemed to pause for just a moment, just a beat to let her change her mind. But she wouldn’t. As he closed the distance between them with long, purposeful steps, she reached for the buttons on the front of her powder-blue silk dress. He was faster.
“Let me,” he whispered, his voice like honey.
With Gwyn's body quivering beneath his touch, Azriel's fingers deftly worked the buttons of her dress, each one coming undone with ease under his professional touch.
As the fabric of her dress loosened, Azriel's lips trailed a path of feather-light kisses along the exposed skin of her neck and chest, igniting a trail of fire in their wake. Gwyn arched into his touch, a soft sigh escaping her as she surrendered herself to the intoxicating sensation of his lips against her skin.
The warmth of his breath ghosted over her bare shoulders as he tugged the fabric down, sending shivers of pleasure racing down her spine.
As the last button of her dress came undone, Azriel's lips found the sensitive hollow of her neck, his kisses growing bolder as he explored every inch of her exposed skin. With each touch, Gwyn felt herself falling deeper under his spell, lost in the ecstasy of him.
He pulled her dress lightly from the waist, causing the fabric to fall and pool around her feet. She gasped as the cool air hit her now-exposed breasts, swiftly changing to a moan as Azriel’s mouth sucked and licked one of her peaked nipples. His hand tweaked the other, the bite of pain sending waves of pleasure to her core. She could feel herself getting slicker with each touch from his calloused hands, from each flick of his tongue.
While moving back up her body, he gazed at her and then gently caressed her cheek, sending more tingles throughout her entire body. Gwyn's breath hitched in her throat as she leaned in to feel his touch, her eyes fluttering closed as she felt his calloused fingertips tracing along her soft skin.
Azriel's kiss, perfect and passionate, ignited a wild fire inside her, threatening to engulf her completely. With a soft moan, Gwyn pressed herself closer to him, her hands tangling in the fabric of his shirt as she deepened the kiss, getting completely lost in the moment.
Their kisses became more intense, more desperate, as they surrendered to the fiery passion that ignited between them. Azriel's hands moved across her body, tracing the shape of her figure with a reverence that erased any worries from her mind.
With a sudden burst of self-assurance, Gwyn boldly grabbed Azriel's shirt, her hands shaking as she undid the buttons and removed the fabric to uncover the chiseled lines of his chest and abdomen. She had witnessed it before, but the sight of his skin illuminated by the gentle moonlight coming through the tall windows took her breath away. She had never seen anything more beautiful than him.
Azriel's eyes burned with longing as he took in her flushed cheeks and widened pupils, his own arousal evident in the way his chest heaved with each ragged breath, and his cock strained against his pants. He lifted her into his arms with a gentle tenderness that stole her breath.
As he lowered her onto the mattress, he watched her intensly. She reached up to trace the contours of his face, committing every detail to memory as if afraid she might forget any detail of this night.
Azriel smiled, a slow, seductive curve of his lips that sent a thrill racing through her veins. He lowered himself down to claim her in a kiss that left them both breathless and hungry for more, pushing his hardened length against her, making her moan into his mouth.
Thoughts eddied from her head as she let all the euphoric sensations take over. Azriel began to kiss and lick a path down her body before settling between her legs. She couldn’t help but look, having read this scenario so many times in her books. The lived experience was already proving so much better.
He kissed the sides of her thighs, over the fabric of her underwear before his hands came to the waistband of them. He looked up at her before proceeding further. She gasped at the sight of him, his tousled hair and burning eyes. It was so glorious she felt halfway to finding her pleasure already. She nodded for him to continue, and his answering smirk had her almost bucking upwards to get her core closer to his mouth.
As he pulled down her undergarments, exposing her fully to him, he took a moment to just look at her, making her feel too exposed and vulnerable.
“Everything okay down there?” she joked. Teasing was their easiest form of communication and seemed especially appropriate right now.
“Just appreciating the view,” he quipped back. He didn’t give her a chance to answer before pressing his lips against her sex, his tongue reaching out to circle her clit. She gasped out at the first contact, understanding why the females in her books loved this so much. Azriel’s skilled tongue worked her until she was a panting mess. When he brought his fingers up, running them through her slick centre she moaned so loud she was thankful no one was home. As he pushed them inside her, it took only moments before she shattered, coming hard against his tongue, panting out his name over and over. He worked her through the waves of her climax until she was breathless and thoughtless.
He kissed his way back up her body, giving her that damned smug look that he knew she hated.
“Everything you dreamed of, priestess?” he teased.
She smirked. “It was okay.”
His hand returned to her clit, massaging it until she was coming again, unable to maintain the smirk on her face anymore, gripping his shoulders as she threw her head back to moan out in pleasure.
"Prick!" she panted out as she came down from her second high.
"I’m just getting started, Berdara. How do you want it?"
Even the way he talked was turning her on, feeling her core tighten once more, needing him inside her.
"Let me be on top… for the first time," she told him. This was the control she needed. She’d read it in books with females who had experienced similar trauma to hers. This was a reclaiming of her body and sexuality, and her being on top was optimal for that.
Azriel didn’t question it as he moved off the bed quickly to divest of his trousers and undershorts before moving them to the position she’d asked for. Her mouth went dry as she took in the whole of him. He was a god walking among mortals. She had to shake her head to get back into the moment, stop worshipping his body with her eyes.
She hovered just over his straining erection as he waited patiently for her to make her move. She took a few breaths.
In theory, she was definitely ready… but now…
“We don’t have to, Gwyn,” Azriel assured her, rubbing soothingly up and down her thighs. Looking at his unique scars eased something inside her. She would know those hands in the dark; they made her feel safe. No one had them, and although she knew he hated his scars, she loved them.
She took them in her own and placed them on her breasts where she could feel, touch, and see them.
“Keep them here,” she told him, and he nodded in acknowledgment.
She took one more calming breath before lowering herself down slowly. They both moaned at the first contact as the tip of his cock pushed inside her. Her cunt wanted more, her mind agreeing as she sank further down, loving the fullness of him inside her. His hands squeezed her breasts lightly, and she guessed he felt the same. His eyes were closed, his mouth open to moan out as she went all the way down until they were fully joined. She groaned in relief before she started moving.
“Fuck, Gwyn. You feel amazing,” Azriel panted out, and it only spurred her on more. She began to ride him as he played with her breasts, squeezing her nipples. The sensation of it all was driving her wild. She canted her hips, her clit trying to find more of him to rub against.
“Let me use my hand,” he begged, and she nodded.
Azriel’s hand flew to her clit, applying gentle pressure exactly as she needed. She gripped the hand against her breast as she rode against the other. It felt intense in the best way.
“I’m close,” she cried out.
“Me too,” he answered.
A few more strokes and thrusts, and they were both coming in a symphony of moans and groans. She felt Azriel’s warm release rush inside her, and he continued to circle her clit as her walls clenched tightly around him. They continued to pleasure each other until every last drop of ecstasy was wrung out.
Gwyn collapsed in a panting mess onto Azriel’s chest, his arms encircling her, rubbing her back. He moved to kiss the top of her head in a gentle gesture, one she was sure people rarely saw from the feared shadowsinger. She lay contently on top as they both tried to catch their breath.
“Was that ‘okay’?” Azriel teased after a few moments.
Gwyn laughed against his chest. She carefully extracted herself and collapsed beside him on the bed.
“We'll have to do it again so I have something to compare it to,” she quipped back, and Azriel pulled her close to kiss her.
“Agreed,” he said against her lips before rolling over onto her. How his cock was so hard again already, she had no idea, but as he pushed himself back into her, she became a writhing mess once more as he coaxed out orgasm after orgasm.
They continued that way for hours. She didn’t know where they got the stamina, but the sun was almost rising by the time they fell asleep, completely spent in each other's arms.
She awoke a few hours later, letting out a content sigh, the ache between her legs a reminder of the amazing night she had. She rolled over to see if Azriel was up for another round before she left, but he was already gone. She tried not to take it personally and moved to find her crumpled dress on the floor. They had made no promises. Maybe he just wanted that one night.
She dressed quickly, sneaking through the house down to the library, thankful no one saw her, and tried very hard not to feel the sting of rejection.