Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I multi-fandom shipped this way before I saw This article but after I saw it, it made me want to write this fanfic more. So enjoy!!

~•~

It all started move-in day. When he saw the beautiful man for the first time. Watched him while he was socializing. His warm brown hair and matching chocolate chip eyes. He was catching up with friends over their summer experiences. Chatting about how high school felt like a mile away and they didn't feel old enough to be in college. They said that mentally half of them felt like children still. 

It was around that time of year when Lee's heart ached for companionship again. But being what he was, it was hard to get close to people.

It always felt like he was two sides of a coin. One side being happy and compassionate and affectionate, and the other side being ruthless and vile and mean. Some days he felt bipolar. He could flip between the two sides so quickly without even realizing it. He didn't understand it. He felt this way for as long as he could remember. It often drove people away, so growing up he didn't have very many friends. It also didn't help that he didn't trust people because of his dad.

His dad.

He suddenly started thinking about his dad, even if he did make friends here, what would he tell them? 

That his dad was a drunk and abusive and one day ran away and never looked back. 

That was the story he had told everyone for years. Even his own sister believed that story. But deep down he had a feeling maybe his mother had a suspicion. 

What would he tell people about his mother? 

That she sent me away to a college in England that I'm too stupid to be attending simply because she couldn't bear to look at me anymore?! He thought, angrily.

A quick knock came to his door that stiffed his spine. Snapping him out of his mild anxiety attack. The sound came again. 

He went to the door, “Can I help you?” He asked the woman standing in front of him. 

“Um, sorry. Wrong address.” She said quickly and rushed off holding a torn bit of paper.

Lee sighed, closed his door, (accidentally slamming it in the process) and groaned. He closed his curtains and flopped down limply onto his bed. Face down and fully clothed, he wished he had never been born.

Again. 

~•~

Dinner time came. A horrible experience for Lee. Back in high school he would usually eat his lunch in the bathroom, alone. When his sister was a freshman and he was a senior, they would eat together. But only for that one year. Now he was here, unable to even see her. He hoped she would hate him forever. That would make things a lot easier. 

He walked around blindly, the dining hall was so dark, like the Abercrombie store he worked at a couple summers ago. It was loud in there too. It reminded him of the cicadas and the croaking frogs from the creek behind his house and the neighbors kids who would scream outside for no apparent reason. Lee would often find himself checking his window to make sure they weren't being kidnapped, that's how loud they would scream. 

It was starting to give him a headache but luckily it was helping him not to think about his sister. The issue at hand however was finding a table to sit at. A lot of the kids here had known each other since elementary school and he immediately noticed a few clicks. 

Preps, jocks, Goths. As always.

He would fit in with the Goths with the way his shaggy mullet was crimson and his jeans shredded, but he wasn't really in that kind of mind frame right now; he just wanted someone to lift his spirits after a hard week. 

But beggars can't be choosers and he immediately realized that a lot of the seats were full. So he just focused on finding an empty one for now, and by “empty,” he meant a seat that didn't have someone's foot or purse in it. Eventually finding one, he sat. 

His plate was empty in front of him with a cup for wine, (even though most of the students here were under age), metal silverware, (unlike the plastic spork he was used to at home), and a cloth napkin. He was lucky if he got a regular sized napkin in those little plastic wrap packets you get, the ones with the tiniest straw that had been bent at some point and now had a hole somewhere inside. 

He looked up and saw a man sitting in front of him. The man had blonde hair and glasses.

“I'm Michael Gavey.” He extended his hand. 

Gotta start getting used to the accents here. “Lee.”

“Lee what?”

“Just Lee is fine..”

“So you’re a Norman no-mates too then, just Lee?”

“I.. don't really know what that means.”

“Look around.” he said, The slight bit of lamplight that caused a campfire story shadow under his chin made Lee shutter. “It's just me and you mate. Oh- and the girl whos got agoraphobia.. but she's in her room, obviously.” He snorted a laugh. His guy weirded Lee out, but maybe he was just hungry..

“What are you reading?” Michael asked but interrupted Lee before he could speak. “Or I guess I mean, ‘what's your major?’ That would probably make more sense to you as an American.” Lee nodded and attempted to speak again but the same interruption followed.

“I'm reading maths. I'm a genius. I don't even like maths, really. I can just do it, in my head. Anything. Ask me a sum.” He paused, finally giving Lee a chance to speak.

“Nah, you're fine man.”

“Oh come on.”

“It's not like I don't believe you. I just don't even know what to ask, dude.”

“Please. Come on.”

He was starting to make Lee uncomfortable. “Nah, I believe yo-” 

“Fuckin’ ask me a sum, then!!” Michael slammed his hands on the table and screamed. 

Lee flinched hard, remembering when his father would strike him.

He sat clenching his eyes shut for a good second, bracing for impact and listening for the sound of his father's old boots. 

The whole dining room fell silent. Lee had his face away and his body stiff. He opened his eyes and what he saw was an entire dining room of 2,000 plus people staring at him, eyes wide. 

It was mortifying. 

His stomach did flips and he felt like puking right there on his dinner plate, but he held his mouth closed and chewed on the tip of his tongue a little, tapping his foot on the floor and keeping his head down. He just wanted this interaction to be over with.

“four.. hundred twenty.. three. Times… uh.. seventy eight.” He asked, keeping his head down and swallowing hard.

“Thirty two thousand nine hundred and ninety four…” The blonde guy mumbled quickly. Lee didn't care if he was right or not, Lee was up and gone. Speed walking back to his dorm. 

~•~

Lee slammed the door to his dorm and shuttered into his bed clutching Rosé, his childhood “soft toy” as they would call it here. It was a dusty pink, old, floppy, tattered, bunny. Missing a brown button eye and fur bald in places. It still felt like home though.

His breath was rapid and his hands shook slightly. He sighed, PTSD as his sister called it. He didn't know. He was never diagnosed, doctors weren't really his thing.

He just wanted to sleep. He tugged open his night drawer and took like three melatonin then blurred himself back in the blankets just waiting to pass out with his hand down his boxers.

~•~

Lee jumped up from his bed the next morning to the sound of his alarm clock squawking. He gripped Rosé, he wished he could just stay here. In bed forever. He thought about it. Considered it. But ultimately decided to get ready.

He stumbled up out of bed, starting a pot of coffee and pouring himself a bowl of Lucky charms. He wished he had some bacon, but this would do. He ate the cereal and held his rabbit for as long as he could until he was forced to put her down to walk out the door. But not before he had a cigarette and took a shower with her sitting by, then getting ready for the day.

~•~

“So how are you finding Oxford?” The tutor asked. Lee wasn't the best in English literature, or any class really, so after high school he needed help like this.

“Okay I guess.” He replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah it's alright, only been here a night so can't exactly judge yet, you know?” 

He found that the man was staring off in the distance more than paying attention to what he was saying. There was supposed to be another student he figured, since there was an open chair next to him. The only additional chair in the room. 

“Er, Did you come from- far from Home?” The man asked, trying to make it appear as though he was listening.

“Oh.. yeah, Kentucky.” Lee was willing to entertain the fact that he wasn't listening, simply to have somebody to talk to who wasn't that blonde guy from the dining hall.

“Oh yeah? Never been there myself. Is that chicken place there?”

“KFC?” Lee asked, clearing his throat beforehand.

“Yeah, that's what it's called.”

“Yeah, I'm sure there's a couple. My family didn't really eat out a lot, so..”

“Not enough pounds?” Lee was confused. Was this tutor seriously calling him skinny? “Money. I guess you would say, ‘Dollars?’”

“Oh, I thought you meant.. something else..” Lee sighed.

The room went quiet. All he could hear was a ticking clock. Lee sighed. His stomach growled from going without dinner yesterday. But also from…that.

It was going to be a rough year.

Suddenly another Man rushed through the door. He had dark skin and a curly bush of hair. He was the guy who had backhandedly complemented Lee's shredded jeans on the first day of school.

“I am so sorry! Sorry I'm late! Sorry I'm late, I got totally lost. Hi, nice to meet you-” He laid a hand on Lee's thigh as he slumped into the armchair next to him. Lee felt his leg tense up and flex away from the warm skin he could feel through his jeans. "-sorry." He finished

“You're Farleigh Start, I take it..?” The man asked. “Nice of you to join us finally..” Farleigh apologized once again. “You wouldn't happen to be in relation to Frederica Start would you?” The tutor asked after he suddenly sucked in a breath.

“She's my mother..” he replied with anxiety.

“No! I knew her when we were students here, when she was Frederica Catton, before she moved to America!”

“Oh yeah? I'll tell her, she'll be thrilled that I'm being tutored by one of her friends.”

“Uh no.. I wasn't much of her friend, more like an admirer… from afar. I don't think we ever even spoke.” Lee understood that. Many of his best friends he never even talked to. “In fact, don't even mention me.”

~•~

After about half an hour later Farley had spilled his entire life story to the tutor and wasted all the time that they had. It was a clever move Lee had done a couple times in his therapy sessions that he was forced to go to. Waste all the time on nonsense and never talk about the important things.

This went on for months. Months and months, until Christmas time came around. 

~•~

Lee was starving by the time he had left the tutoring class, though not as hungry after that...girl.

He needed to eat something and study, so he made his way into the library and tried to retrieve something from the vending machine on the way in. With his last couple quarters he pressed the button for a bag of suspicious looking "crisps." Of course because he had absolutely no “luck of the Irish” (he probably even cursed himself by dying his hair blood red.) it got stuck. 

He tried to bang on the machine a little but this one was much less janky than the ones in America, so it wouldn't budge. After he had accepted his defeat he made his way into the library itself and upon finding a seat to read he noticed the man again. The beautiful man from the first day moving in.

He and Farleigh were sitting across the library scribbling penises into different textbooks, giggling and joking. Lee was jealous and lonely and he wished he had a friend to talk like that too. He wished he had the guts to march over there and introduce himself. To make a friend. But he couldn't. Nobody should be subjected to him. Not with what he was.

“Lee!" He jolted his head back after the freak show threw himself into the seat next to him. "Got you a crunchy!” The blonde boy from the dining hall slung a candy bar at him. He was startled but grateful, and unwrapped it. It was the only perk of hanging out with this weirdo. Free stuff.

“Did you know there was a Christmas party tonight?” He asked.

“No..” Lee said with his mouth full of sweet goodness.

“NFI, you and I. Not fuckin invited.”

"I'm sure-" he swallowed. "I'm sure we can go.."

"Nope. Invite only. I checked."

"I didn't." 

"I did for you. You didn't." He sighed. 

More signs that this guy was a creep. When did he learn where my dorm is? “That's okay, I don't really like to party anyway.”

Truth was, he did like to drink, he just didn't trust himself if he was drunk and not by himself.. He needed to be in complete control when around people. And if he was drunk and someone else was drunk and they were in a room together by themselves and drunk, he knew what would happen. He didn't even want to entertain the idea.

“Yeah, like we would want to party with those cunts anyway.” He laughed. 

Lee never liked that word. He looked over at the boy in the corner. Beautiful. 

They met eyes for a split second and Lee grinned. He must not have seen Lee because he didn't grin back.

He wondered if he was going to be going to the party. Probably. The beautiful man was popular looking and anyone beautiful should have friends to share their beauty. 

Ugly people with ugly habits and horrible thoughts about killing and blood and meat should not have friends, even if they were as weird as Michael Gavey!!  

Lee didn't even deserve him.

~•~

He couldn't really tell if the food on the tray in his hands was better in England than in Kentucky, but he could definitely tell the difference. 

The meat was tender and cooked correctly. Not burnt, not raw. The potatoes were less like water, the actual water had ice. The green beans didn't have a puddle underneath them, and the corn actually had butter on top. They were supplied with metal forks and knives, hot sauce, and salt, unlike at his high school. 

He ate his dinner, trying to ignore the brainiac sitting across from him. He finished, wishing he still wasn't hungry. He walked back to his dorm in the quiet darkness. Cicadas and owls in a little choir around him mixed with the crunch of gravel and growl of his stomach.   

Once he got inside he crawled under his blanket and hid his head. He missed home. He wanted to go home but this was home now. He clung to Rosé tightly and tried to sleep, tears in his eyes.

~•~

Everybody was getting ready for the Christmas party. Lee and Michael ate silently, Michael wondering what they were going to do, and Lee wondering how to get rid of Michael. Eventually Michael decided he was just going to stay home and Lee decided he was just going to play pool and listen to the music. That's something he liked to do back home anyway.

~•~

The next morning while he was driving to campus from the dormitory, he spotted someone sitting on the side of the road, which wasn't entirely odd given that a lot of people were riding bicycles to campus from the dormitory. 

What was odd was that this person's bicycle was turned over on its side and this said person was kicking at it with their left foot. It also happens to be a coincidence that that same person was the beautiful man. 

The man stood when he saw Lee, waving his arms like he was lost at sea. Lee contemplated looking away. Just ignoring him. 

No normal guy would want him.. the way he was. 

But before he realized he had moved his foot from gas to brake and slowed the old, blue, rusty truck enough that the man felt comfortable that he would stop. 

Lee didn't know what he was doing. He could hurt this guy. Why did he pull over? ..maybe just to talk to someone. Someone other than that nut job, Michael Gavey.

"Hi mate, I've got a flat tire.” His voice was beautiful. “I've just been trying to fix it.. and of course it's when I'm already 10 minutes late for my tutorial.” He sighed. “I'm going to flunk this class, do you think you could give me a lift?" He leaned back and carded his fingers through his hair. His beautiful, beautiful, brown hair. 

He looked up at Lee with his gorgeous eyes. Almost pleading. Lee almost got lost in them before the beautiful man sighed dramatically like the girls at his school used to do. He fiddled with his shoelaces. Lee wondered if he tied them the traditional way or another way.

He gripped the wheel, staring down at the beautiful man. He felt the cigarettes shift in his shirt pocket.

This is a bad, bad idea. A horrible idea. “Where is it?” Lee asked. His hands skimming his thighs nervously.

“Iffley road.” The beautiful man clasped his hands together like he was praying.

Lee had no idea where that was. He wanted to just turn him down. England is new to him and he didn't wanna hurt anyone. Especially the beautiful man. 

The beautiful man was longing for an answer.

“I guess I can give you a ride…” He mumbled. What are you doing?!?! Drive away!! Quickly!! He thought.

The man looked up hopefully. “Really?” He asked, stepping closer. 

“Sure, I've got this truck. No point in you sitting and waiting for someone else.” He sighed. Don't do anything stupid, Lee. Don't do anything stupid! You're gonna hurt him!! You're gonna ruin everything!!! 

“But are you sure, it's a bit of a faff running me back and forth?” He asked.

“Oh, you want me to pick you up?” He swallowed hard.

“Oh. I just thought..” He mumbled to himself.

Lee swallowed. “I um.. I guess I could pick you up..”

“Oh, I'll get a ride back, it's fine! I couldnt ask you to drive me both ways.”

Lee shook his head. “No, I'll do it, it's fine.” It most definitely isn't fine.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his perfect skin warming in the sun.

NO!! “Mhm..” Lee mumbled.

“God, that's kind! That's really kind! Alright.” 

Lee laid across the armrest, feeling it jam into his ribs, and unlocked the passenger door. He heard the beautiful man fling his busted up bike up into the bed and jog around to the passenger door, opening it with a click. 

His scent burst into the cab. Like warm laundry straight from the dryer. Lee just wanted to curl up inside him and sleep. He felt like he could sleep forever inside his blanket. Maybe all the bad thoughts would go away. Maybe he would get better.

Lee made sure to scoot over to the opposite end of his seat to be as far from him as possible without making it obvious. His stomach growled. He jumped as the beautiful man closed the door and clicked on his seat belt. "I'm Felix by the way. Felix Catton.”

Lee nodded trying to calm the shake beginning in his hand. He gripped the leather steering wheel, keeping his face forward. 

When the beautiful man realized he wasn't answering, he asked, “What's your name?” 

Lee jumped slightly as he pressed the gas. “Oh, uh.. Lee.” 

“Lee, what?” 

The beautiful man said my name! “J-just- Lee, is fine..” he mumbled. 

~•~

He just drove forward. 

He could hear the beautiful man breathe. Slow and gentle, in and out, calm and steady. Fearing nothing. 

He saw his hands in the corner of his eye as he picked at his nails. His fingers were long and slender. He wondered what it would be like if he could hold his hand. The palms are the most tender part of the body.

He wondered what they tasted like as he smelt that amazing smell again. The warm laundry smell.

“Hey!” The beautiful man snapped. 

Lee jolted his eyes back up, caching himself from veering into the opposite lane of traffic, luckily there was nobody coming for miles. “Hm?”

“I said, right here you take a left.” He pointed. 

Lee swallowed and nodded. He flicked on his blinker and took the left turn. After a few blocks the beautiful man got out and thanked Lee profusely for the ride. He dug his bike out of the rusty bed that Lee used to sleep in. The beautiful man thanked Lee once more and then he was off sprinting to class.

Lee took a deep breath. He looked over at the seat where the beautiful man sat. He lifted the arm rest and slid over. He felt the warmth of his body. The smell of his cologne. He pulled the seat belt out and pressed it to his nose. As he breathed he smiled and shuttered. He smelt like home. Like love. Lee could feel it then. The loneliness creeping back in. He knew he could never have him, not really.

So this is all he would allow himself.

Chapter Text

3:24pm

Lee was sitting in his truck by the doors waiting. Watching for the beautiful man. His toothpaste colored shirt, his sun kissed skin. He sat and waited because he was supposed to be coming out at 3pm. Lee was giving him a ride back to the dorm.

~•~

4:36pm

Lee drumbed on his steering wheel with a smile on his face. He should be coming out soon. Anytime now he would walk out that door and smile at Lee.

~•~

5:09pm

Lee was starting to worry if he was okay. Maybe his teacher is holding him hostage for homework ransom. No other reason why he wouldn't come out.

~•~

6:26pm

Lee was starting to really worry, the sun was going down and the beautiful man was still not here. Lee was starting to think maybe he should have bought them some dinner. He wanted to but he was scared the beautiful man would come out while he was gone.

~•~

7:45pm

A janitor came outside with a rake and large gray trash bin on wheels, “You've been here all afternoon, son. What's wrong?” he said.

“I'm waiting for someone.” Lee mumbled.

“Well, I may be wrong but.. I think they're not coming.”

Lee sighed, “Maybe he's just late.”

“I'm telling you, I checked that building in and out. There's nobody in there, kid. Go on home, now. Get some dinner before the dining hall closes for the night.” The old southern man said as he walked back off to rake.

Lee nodded and sighed. He cranked his old robin's egg blue pickup and drove the way back to the dorm, keeping an eye out for the beautiful man.

~•~

He went to the dining hall and ate his spaghetti all by himself. 

There was a note from the coo coo bird,

You're late to dinner so I ate without you. Meet me at the pub tomorrow night, we’ll get a pint to make up for it, my treat. 

-Michael Gavey.

Lee rolled his eyes and crumpled the letter. This wacko is really testing me. He thought. His food was warm but obviously an hour or two old. He couldn't complain, better than any dinner at home. 

After scarfing down the leftover noodles he caught his reflection in a dark window as he was walking to his dorm. He viciously wiped the dinner stains from his mouth. It looked too much like…that for his comfort. A girl saw him and probably thought he was absolutely insane with the amount of sweating he was doing. 

He went to his room, trying to ignore the rough sex happening next door.   

He just stood there. 

What did I do wrong? I didn't hurt him. I didn't say anything incriminating. I just gave him a ride. He thanked me. He wanted me to pick him up. He didn't say anything about getting another ride home.. maybe he did. Maybe I just wasn't listening.. He thought. 

He fiddled with his earring and tried not to cry. His heart hurt. Hurt so bad. He just wanted to see him, just talk to him. Apologize for whatever happened. That even though he knew better, he was letting himself develop feelings for the beautiful man. Hell, he kept calling him the Beautiful man instead of his name. 

Felix 

Felix

Felix

Felix Catton.

Not the beautiful man.

The hurtful man.

The human man.

The alive man.

The man who will never want him.

The man who never showed up.

~•~

The next day he was walking to the pub to meet up with Wackadoo Michael. He didn't know why he felt that way about him.. he was just a nerd who was serious about math. Something Lee couldn't relate to. He sat down across the booth from him and laid his head on his arms.

“Tired?” 

“Yeah. Didn't sleep well.” 

“That's a shame. You know, I ordered mozzarella sticks. You can have some, they’re three Quid an order." 

Lee sighed. He didn't have that.

~•~

Michael was munching on his gooey cheesy delicious looking sticks with his mouth open, smacking his lips and talking loudly. Something about bouncing tits and math who knows. Lee was too focused on sipping his beer slowly so he didn't get so drunk so quick. The stuff in England is much more potent than the crap he guzzled from the E-Z-Mart back in Kentucky. 

Back when he was never hungry. 

Not like now. 

“Lee!” The freak snapped in his direction. 

Lee blinked quickly and jerked his face back to meet him. “Hm?”

“What's wrong with you, mate? I'm talking about the golden ratio here. This girl's face was perfectly symmetrical! Perfectly!” 

He didn't care about that, he didn't care about anything Michael had to say. Ever since the lunatic screamed at him on that very first day, he had been slowly hating him, more and more. He was boring and a selfish prude. He had never once asked Lee if he was okay with loud noises or apologized for yelling or hitting him playfully. Lee just couldn't take it anymore. 

“Go get me another pint, just Lee.” He chuckled. “I've gotta go for a slush.” 

Lee nodded and looked down at his own cup, only .25% gone. He rose from the booth as Michael headed for the bathroom and walked over to the bartender, bumping into a group of belligerent girls on his way. 

“One more pint sir.” He muttered. The man took the glass and began pouring the golden beverage inside.

“Oh there he is! Lee! Lee!” Someone began yelling. Lee didn't need to look around the bar to see who is calling him, he knew that voice. He turned around backwards and there he sat. Felix Catton. Trying to flag him down.

“Come here, mate!” He yelled once Lee saw him. 

Lee nodded and a look of sadness spread across his face and he began walking to the table.

“There he is, guys. This is Lee. My hero, the one I told you all about. You know, he's the only reason I got to class yesterday and was able to get a D on that test. Without him I'd be on my way home right now.” He was smiling. Lee was confused. The guy from his tutoring class, Farleigh, was there, he guessed him and the bea- Felix, were friends. 

Good. 

He deserved friends. 

“Come, sit down! Get a drink!” Felix spoke. Lee stood still a moment, not really wanting to.. but then he heard Geeky Gavey clear his throat. “I'm sorry, are you with a friend?” Felix asked, genuinely concerned.

“uh.. no.” Lee said, relieved, and sat down. He felt a bit guilty as he saw Michael walk out the front door of the bar, tail tucked, but he was also glad to be rid of him finally.

“So you're Lee, huh?” Farleigh asked. “I think we've met.” Lee missed the slight condescending tone and just nodded, wiping the sadness off his face for the mask of humanity he wore around prey. The prey he pretended could be his friends. “You're American. And southern by the sound of it.” 

“Mhm. Kentucky, Born and raised.” He eyed Farleigh up and down, finally snagging that twinge of judgment. The others nodded. 

“Go Wildcats?” He said with pouty lips, making a fool of him. 

“I don't really watch sports.” He hummed.

“Oh, so you're more of a reader?” He asked again.

“Eh, I can read.” 

The friend group erupted in “ouch” and “burned” Lee slightly laughed at this, he didn't mean it like that but it would suffice. 

~•~

Before he knew it they were doing shots. 

His head felt swimmy as he heard the pounding, “Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!” in his ear. He slurped down the muddy colored vile and coughed as it went down. Not the most graceful of drinks but it was enough to get him a cheer from the group at the table and a pat on the back from The beaut- Felix. 

“Oo! Jägerbombs!” Farleigh suggested. The table cheered in response. Everyone but Lee. He was sitting still, clutching his stomach, half feeling he was about to puke and half feeling that hungry growl. “Hey, it's your round man.” Farleigh chuckled.

“I t-think I should go to bed.” Lee mumbled. 

The table didn't like that. They all started booing and hissing at him like he was some stray cat in an alley. It made things worse.

“Hey, you can't snake your way out of a round.” Farleigh demanded.

“I'm not..” Lee groaned, beginning to salivate. Half from the vomit creeping up his throat and half at the smell of the patrons. 

“Well that's what it sounds like..” Farleigh taunted. 

Lee swallowed and tried to breathe steadily. “Fine.” He said weakly. The table cheered again as he slowly marched up to the barkeep

“Farleigh.” Felix started, “Just cut him a break mate, that rounds gonna cost him a fortune. You see what he wears, he can't get that.”

“It's his round. Pub rules, Felix. Not my fault if he has to scrub some tables to earn what's left on his tab tonight.” He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around the girl beside him.

Felix sat with a disgusted look on his face for a while. Then he muttered. “I can't believe you.” and got up to meet Lee at the bar.

“Please. Just- hic*”

“No. You are way too lightweight. You’ll get alcohol poisoning.” The Irish man spoke over the sound on the tv. 

“But it's m-my round.”

“No. You're gonna kill yourself.”

Lee felt a hand on his back. “Just a round for the table. We're going home.” Felix spoke.

Lee wiped his mouth that had begun to drool a little at this point. He could barely make out Felix's frame before he nodded off on the bar top. His gorgeous chocolate chip eyes.

“Sounds good. How many?”

“Uhh,” Felix pointed to all the heads he could see and muttered his counting. “Like 8? 9?”

“Alright, 8 jägerbombs is $85.60” The Irishmen hummed.

“Put it under, 'Catton.'” He said as he hoisted Lee up into his arms bridal style and carried him out the door. Another patron held it open for him.

~•~

Lee woke up as Felix closed the driver door and started the car. He recognized the smell as his truck. “Ngh..” He looked up.

“That was.. interesting.” Felix cooed. Lee covered his face. “You have an incredible vomiting aim. Only got a little on my shoe.”

Lee winced verbally. “I- I'm sorry.”  

“No, it's okay. You were fun to hang out with.”

Lee felt his heart thump. Remembering that janitor, that cold spaghetti, that panic attack.  

“Then why didn't you come?”

“Excuse me?” Felix asked, driving Lee's truck.

“Last night. I was gonna drive you home. You never showed up.” He said wobbly.

“I got a ride with Farleigh. I told him to tell you. Did he..”

Lee shook his head. He had begun crying at some point, the wet tears running down his cheeks.

“Oh my God.” Felix groaned. “I honestly don't know why I bother with him, he just lies and cheats all the time. You know, he's gotten expelled from almost every school in England for sucking off the teachers for grade improvement!?” He scoffed then began to angrily chuckle. “So stupid.”

Lee looked down, wiping his face and sniffing. 

“Please don't tell me you were out there for long?” Felix asked.

Lee sniffed. “Till about 8pm.” 

“EIGHT P-” Felix sighed harshly. “Oh my God Lee. I am so sorry.” 

Lee shook his head. “Not your fault.” 

“You're right. It most definitely is not. It's Farleigh's fault. I can't believe him.” He groaned out a gag like he was sick to his stomach. “I don't think I'll ever talk to him again. This tops it all.”

Lee felt guilty. Did he break up some friends? “N-no, it's okay. I was the one who sat there.”

Felix threw the car in park and sighed, rubbing hands down his face, pulling down on it, causing it to look  like it was melting. Then he looked over at Lee. “How could I ever repay you?” 

Lee shook his head. 

“Something. Anything. Please.”

Lee just shook his head again.

Felix sighed. “You are so kind.”

Lee blinked back some tears with a grin.

“How about this, We eat lunch together tomorrow?”

Lee nodded and giggled a little. The dark cab hiding his blush.

“Okay, lunch at 12pm tomorrow. I'll be there, I promise.” 

“Okay.” Lee said with a sniff.

Chapter Text

Lee nestled back into his seat as Felix drove the rest of the way to his dorm building. He felt safe, cast under Felix's shadow. Falling slowly asleep in the car like his parents used to do when he was a baby. The only way to get him to stop crying.

Lee woke up to the sound of keys rustling. He blinked open and saw Felix's back. Him slung over his shoulder. “Felix?” He groaned. 

“Oh thank God you're awake! Which key is yours? None of these fit.” He slowly put Lee's feet back on the floor. 

“Small one. Blue topper.” Lee mumbled drunkenly. 

“Alright, let's get you inside.” He said as he unlocked the door.

Felix walked Lee inside and helped him to the bathroom in case anymore alcohol came up. He sat with him and rubbed his back, eventually helping him to bed. Tucking him in and nestling Rosé between his arm and chest. 

As he walked towards Lees front door he sighed and looked at a photo on the counter.

Two people, one boy and one girl. Pre Teens it looked like. 

The boy- Lee had fresh red dye in his mullet and the Girl had bleached strips in her dark brown hair. They were smiling and laughing. He saw the writing scribbled in bad cursive.

Best Summer Ever!! 

Kayla and Lee. 

He felt his heart sink. It reminded him of himself and Venetia. He sighed and left, locking the doorknob to keep Lee safe. 

~•~

Lee woke up the next morning blissfully hungover. “Ugh, my head.” He thought out loud as it throbbed behind his eyes. His mouth tasted like vomit. He lent up to his elbows and felt the comforter pressed tightly under his body. Tucked in. 

Come to think of it, he didn't remember coming home. 

He stumbled over to the kitchen and found two aspirin laid out on the counter with a note. 

Morning sleeping beauty, take these and eat a good breakfast, you'll feel better soon.

~F. Catton.

Lee smiled. He did as told. 

Felix was so nice, and they would be meeting for lunch. But part of him didn't want to show up. He wished they could be friends, he wanted to so badly he couldn't stand it. But he could hurt Felix if he got too close. He had already developed a little crush on him. What next?! But he knew not showing up for an event wasn't the way to make up for not showing up for an event. 

So he told himself he would have lunch with Felix. Not have Felix for lunch. 

~•~

Lee walked up to the dining hall, waiting, watching. Praying Felix would be there. It took him a minute to steady his breath after he saw him. Sitting on a cast iron bench, reading a Harry Potter book. Oblivious to the world. His thin shirt showing the peachy skin underneath. It made Lee salivate. He felt himself harden and he quickly blushed as he adjusted in his baggy jeans. 

He began walking over trying to calm down. 

“H-hey.” He said as he lifted himself to his tip toes slightly rocking back to his heels, then the balls of his foot then back to a regular standing position. 

“Oh hiya, mate. How'd you sleep?” 

“Okay. Thank's for helping me home. I don't usually drink like that.”

“No problem mate, I could tell.” He said standing. “Ready?” 

“Mhm.” Lee nodded. 

~•~

“So why do you have like 20 keys on your ring?” Felix asked as he began to chow down on his large pizza slice.

“Most of them are for when I'm stressed. None of the big ones go to anything.”

“Stressed?” Felix asked, covering his full mouth.

“Yeah, I like to look at them, feel the plastic on the toppers, hear them jingle, feel the bumps.” Lee said as he sucked down some water.

“And none of them go to anything you own?” Felix asked after swallowing.

“Nope. I found them all. -Well, some went to padlocks I used to own, and one went to my old house back in Kentucky, but none of them are mine, per se, except the blue one.” 

“Huh.” Felix said finally. “Sounds like a good idea. I'll have to start looking for keys.” 

Lee smiled. “So, in your years of boarding school, what have you learned?” Lee asked Felix.

“Oh, that's right. You went to public school.” he mumbled to himself. “Well, Latin.. water polo.. and.. child abuse.” He giggled that last one. 

Lee looked down and nodded uncomfortably. 

“Oh. Sorry.” Felix said. “Touchy subject?” 

Lee nodded. “I don't really like to talk about it.” He sadly chuckled. “It's over now though.”

“Do you have any good memories from childhood?” Felix asked. “I'll give you some prompts. Do you have any siblings? What are your parents like? Besides.. you know..”

“‘You know’ what? Child abusers?” Lee chuckled darkly.

“Oh God. Don't Make me sound awful.” Felix chuckled along with him.

Lee chuckled a little softer. He figured he'd lie, to make things less awkward. No point in trauma dumping so soon. “Siblings, one. A sister, Kayla. Kay. I call her ‘idiot’ to her face. Or ‘stupid’, or whatever.” He sighed. “Parents.. um. Me and mom used to be close when I was younger, then dad got worse.. 

“Worse how?”

“W-well, one day he ran off.

“On gosh.. sounds awful.” he sighed, leaning closer. Lee nodded as smelt his aftershave. Soft and light. That warm laundry scent. “Was it? Was it awful?” Felix pressed.

Lee didn't really want to think about it. That sound. The whimpering, the way his dad was breathing.. he knew what was coming. He knew he was going to be killed by his own son.

Lee felt himself nodding, leaning towards Felix. Feeling that hunger growl within himself.

Felix nodded. Leaning back abruptly. Remembering the photo in his house. “Is there a reason you chose Oxford? Seems pretty far away, instead of KSU?”

Lee swallowed hard. “No, not really.. just the one I picked.” He lied.

“Hm. Well, I'm glad you did.” Felix said with a smile. 

Lee smiled. “Me too.”

~•~

It wasn't just tomorrow that they ate together. It was every day. 

Every day Felix and Lee ate lunch together. They went to the cafeteria and ordered the same food, sat across from each other and enjoyed their meals. They could freely eat or they could have a soft conversation. Lee felt like he finally had a friend.

They would go to parties together and dance, do karaoke with horrible cracked voices. Not remembering anything from the night before, except that they had each other. Despite Lee being different than anyone Felix hung out with, he was never pushed to the back burner. And eventually people started to expect Lee when inviting Felix anywhere.

~•~

It was a saturday evening and Lee figured maybe he would go get some ice cream after seeing a free coupon for a new shop in the newspaper. So he threw on his tattered clothes and a jumper Felix had given him to wear over his shirts, to hide the fact he wore the same four on repeat. 

When he walked inside the dinging bell startled him. A girl welcomed him in. He felt a chill run through him. Cold in an ice cream shop. Figures. He was glad he had Felix coat. He ordered a vanilla milkshake instead after seeing a picture up on the menu. 

As he stood by and waited for it to be made, he spotted Farleigh walk in with some friends and order some fries. He tried to walk over to the claw machine to disguise himself in plain sight, but his hair was pretty recognizable. Or maybe it was the jumper. 

“Lee?” Farleigh clapped a hand down on his shoulder. He flinched. “Oh my gosh, it's been forever.” 

“Mhm.” He responded, jiggling the joystick on the machine.

“Need a quarter?” Farleigh teased. His friends laughed.

“Milkshake for Lee.” The girl called.

Lee looked over at the counter.

“Oh, I'll get it for you.” Farleigh walked over and picked it up. Lee reached out for it but Farleigh pulled it up over his head. What was up with all the English people being so tall?!

“Come on. Please.” He whined, his stomach taunting him.

“Okay, okay.” Farleigh handed it to him but before he could grab it Farleigh dug his fingers into the Styrofoam cup causing it to rip open, pouring all over his hand and splattering onto Lee’s shirt. 

Lee stood there astonished. Mouth hung open. His stomach was cold and sticky. 

“Tell Felix to stop ignoring me.” Farleigh slung the spilled shake and the broken cup from his hand onto the floor and walked out with his fries and friends.

The girl behind the counter felt bad and rushed at him with paper towels and some of the shops merchandise, gray sweatpants and a tee shirt, all with the sogo printed on it.

“I'm sorry. He's a real jerk for that. I hope he's not your friend?” 

Lee shook his head trying to to cry.

“You gotta tell the campus administrators, they'll help.”

Lee shook his head again. “It would only make things worse.” 

He changed his clothes and took a whores bath in the sink like he used to back when the water at home would get cut off. He dried off with paper towels and changed. The only part he was sad about was ruining Felix's Jumper. 

~•~

Lee was walking home when he heard something.

“Bootlicker.” Someone teased.

He turned around sharply and there stood Michael. Weird, coo coo bird, geek, nerdy, lunatic, Michael Gavey. Tucked into a shadow.

“Excuse me?” He asked.

“Bootlicker.” he said in the same sing-songy way.

“What's that supposed to mean?” He didn't reply. “I asked you a question.” He called.

“He’ll get bored of you.” Michael replied to that.

Lee felt his stomach growl as he got more stressed. “Why do you say that?”

“Because.” 

“Because?” Lee asked, stepping towards him.

“He will, you'll see. Then you'll come right back to me. But I won't take you.” He answered.

Then it clicked with Lee. “Are you.. are you jealous of me?” He asked, squinting. 

Michael stepped forward a little and said. “What's there to be jealous about? I see the way your look at him. Pining over him like an idiot. Don't you know he won't like you that way. Nobody will.” 

Lee felt himself reach out as if he were in slow motion. He grabbed Michaels head and shoulder, twisting until he heard the cracking and screaming. He gripped his glasses and threw them to the side, Michael fell limp onto the ground with a thud. Eyes wide and mouth dangling 

Lee dig his fingers into his shirt and tore it right down the center. Then he lent down and bit into his flesh. It was soft and hairless. Perfect. He wasn't wearing lotion or perfume so it tasted amazing. No chemicals souring the flavor. 

He moaned and chewed and glided his fingers through the blood, cupping is hands and sinking into his torso like a ladle into a pot of soup, bringing them to his mouth to drink. It was warm and filling, and for the first time in a while, he wasn't hungry anymore. He was happy, not sad or lonely. He felt good. He moaned more and more until he had completely devoured Michael Gavey. 

~•~

Lee woke up in the middle of the night, in a ditch, covered in blood, blood that wasn't his own. He could taste it and feel it soaked into his fresh clothes. His stomach felt full. He didn't really remember what happened. He felt something between his arm and the grass, he dug it out and saw Michael’s glasses. Bent from being laid on.

That's when he saw the remains of his bones, mainly chewed off. He didn't fell remorse though. He would probably be sad if he wasn't so high. High on blood. The best high He could ever get. He just laid there for a minute enjoying it. He knew Michael didn't have any friends and they hadn't hung out in months, so he wouldn't be a suspect. 

“Probably just killed himself or dropped out.”

He would have to get some kind of rumor started so people would forget about it. He knew he would have to discard the bones. Luckily there was a junk yard close by with four hungry dogs. He would need to get over there sometime soon or this would start to smell. He was also soaked in blood, which wouldn't help him on his walk home. So he had to stick to the shadows and with precise movements, he got back to his dorm without being seen. Just like he had done twice this year so far. 

Three in nine months? That isn't too bad, is it? It's not getting worse, right? I'm really trying to hold back. That was not planned. I'm not hungry anymore but God.. I feel bad. He thought to himself as he showered. 

I feel really bad.. like I'm gonna be sick.. am I gonna be sick? I've never felt this way before..I feel jittery. Like I did coke or something. I feel weird. Did he do coke? Do I have cocaine in my system? Am I gonna die? Oh God, I'm gonna die.

He dried off from his shower and laid in bed. He stared wide eyed at the ceiling all night. Holding Rosé. The only creature he could hurt. One that wasn't alive.

He wished he wasn't alive.

He didn't deserve it.

Chapter Text

Three years ago.

It was warm like the present, summer was rolling in full steam, Felix and his best friend Eddie had roamed out to the maze. Sixteen year old Felix pretended he didn't know both routes by heart, for his friends sake. They explored around all the twists and turns, Felix offered several corrections but Eddie always insisted, “No, we're going the right way this time.” Sweeping his curly brown hair out of his eyes.

Finally after almost an hour they made it to the middle. The tall statue of some kind of freakish creature looking over them as Eddie jumped up onto its base to sit, take a rest.

“Gosh, I didn't know what I was getting myself into.” his little lisp making that sentence the cutest thing in the world for Felix. 

“Maybe we take the middle route?” Felix suggested. It was the quickest way out.

“No. You live here, you know this maze through and through.” Eddie groaned, swinging his feet. His little shorts tucked under that huge sweater he always wore. The same warm brown of his morning coffee. 

“Not true, I just don't want you getting so tired,” he laid a cool hand on Eddie's knee, “I care about you that's all.”

Eddie looked up at him with those big brown eyes. “Lix, do you think.. maybe I could.. kiss..”

Felix nodded.

They both batted their eyes closed and slowly kissed each other, Felix standing against the base of the statue while Eddie sat on top, the height difference made up. Eddie wrapped his legs around Felix's waist and kissed him deeper and deeper until he was basically tongue fucking his throat. It was amazing and warm and soft and Felix began to grow dizzy so he laid his head on Eddie's shoulder. Kissing him through his shirt.

That's when the groaning started. Muffled under his ears ringing. He felt Eddie trying to pull away but he didn't know why. He felt so good, so warm, loved and cherished. He and Eddie had been friends for so long. He needed this attention.

~•~

“Felix?!” The Cattons all yelled towards him, sprinting through the maze. He had disappeared from the castle and they were afraid something like this would happen if he was left unsupervised. 

Fear shocked through their bodies as they looked upon Felix and his friend. Blood. Guts pulled out from his abdomen, covered in chew marks. His eyes had broken blood vessels and were rolled back, a grin on his face. 

But Felix was none the wiser, bent over his body, shirt half off, soaked with blood. A smile on his face as he filled his stomach with what he truly wanted for the first time. 

His hands slipped and splattered through as he ate Eddie's intestines, practically like slurping spaghetti. Soft and sweet, warm and meaty. Salty.

Venetia immediately ran to her little brother. Wrapping her arms around him and trying to pull him away, his eyes were glazed and it was like he was in a trance.

“Felix, you need to stop!”

“N-no..” he whined, continuing to eat. 

Elspeth threw a shocked hand over her mouth. “What will we do with the body, we can't bury him on the grounds..” 

“Oh, I think we say he had a car accident, we can mail the family the ashes.” Sir James remarked. His wife nodded.

“There will be no body if he eats him bones and all!!!” She screamed angrily as Felix continued to eat. Lightly, gently, it was like a kitten licking up milk. He felt so warm, like he had been turned into liquid and poured into a bath. So relaxed, so at peace.

When Venetia finally did manage to wake him from his daze he was limp and full of dopamine. Blood spilling from his lips all the way down the front of his jeans, soaked into the knees, muddy from kneeling in the grass. He was pleased and full. Venetia looked down at him with a look he didn't understand. 

“Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry..” He said. His eyes lingered on the torn open set of jean shorts, the chewed sweater.

Felix eventually passed out on the way inside, his father caught him and carried him the rest of the way to the bathroom.

~•~

Felix woke up in a bath, his sister washing him. The water was red and slightly too cold for his liking.

“Venetia?” He groaned, waking up slightly.

“Shhh, shhh, it's okay, I'm here.”

“Cold...” he mumbled. 

She immediately pulled the plug and began replacing the cold water with warm. “Sorry.” He looked down at the water. Red. It made him uncomfortable. Venetia could tell by the look on his face. “You had your first.” She whispered regretfully.

“First?” He mumbled.

“Mhm.” Tears flooded her eyes.

Then it clicked with her. He didn't know.

“..Eddie..” She whispered, dropping her head. “He's gone Felix.’

“Well where did he go?” Felix asked. “Did I upset him?”

Felicia teared up worse at this, he didn't even remember doing it right now. “No.. he passed away.”

Felix teared up. “Can I see him?”

“Felix..” she shook her head, mouth hanging wide. Searching for words that would not come. “You.. ate him..”

Felix's eyes went wide. Suddenly it all flooded back. The blood. The warmth. The happiness. Felix just nodded. His nose and the thin parks around his eyes turned pink as he cried. 

As his sister held him tightly. “I know you cared about him.” She whispered in his ear. 

Felix nodded. 

“I'm really sorry Felix.” 

Felix sobbed. “I didn't mean to hurt him.”

“No. No. You can not blame yourself.mMother, Father, Me, Duncan. We're all this way. Mum was going to give you the talk soon, she said you were showing signs.. but she didn't get to it quick enough.”

Felix looked down. He felt so wrong. So disgusted with himself.

Felix nodded again. He ran a hand across his stomach. “I feel him. Like he's still here. Like he's pressed up to my spine. Sleeping and safe. ”

“Yeah, you always will. The first is the most special. They hang with you.” her tears crashed onto the porcelain tub.

“You will probably miss him forever, and you might hate yourself right now for what happened. But I promise you. We heard nothing. He was absolutely silent. He must have loved you a lot to let you do that to him.”

Felix felt a few more tears drop then he nodded.

“I love you so much Felix. Please don't think you're all alone in this, your not you will always have me.”

“I love you too.” He responded, hugging her tightly.  

That's when the hunger started, and never stopped.

~•~

Today

Felix felt his stomach growl for the morning. He lurched forward and stumbled up out of bed. Last day of school before summer. No more hunting for meals on his own. He could just enjoy what his family had for him. Someone he didn't know and would never have known.

He pulled open the fridge door and grabbed a bottle of kombucha, chugging half of it to get rid of the dry feeling in his throat. He pulled open his phone and texted Lee.

‘Hiya mate! Happy last day @ Uni :) How bout we have a pint 2 celebrate 2nite? Since café is closed so no last lunch together. Lemme no what u think’

He waited by for a response, Lee usually texted right back. But after a moment of radio silence, Felix figured he was still eating breakfast or something.  

~•~

Felix finished getting ready and looked at his phone again, still nothing. That was strange. Maybe he slept in, maybe I should go see if he's home.. Felix thought. 

He grabbed his keys and a pocket knife, and headed out.

The dorms were full of people packing up and putting their stuff in their cars, or their parents' cars, or their parents' parents' cars, just anywhere they could shove it. Grandparents were handing out wads of pounds to their grandchildren. One girl was even given a key to a house. Felix was ready for summer he just wanted to make sure his friend was okay first.

As Felix walked through the parking lot he saw Lee's old truck, odd that he wouldn't be home and it was still parked. Why have a car and still walk? He checked the inside briefly before seeing nothing but an old Tolkin novel in one of the doors and a white puka shell necklace hanging on the rearview mirror.

As he approached Lee's dorm room door he could immediately smell it.

Blood.

It wasn't a smell he could immediately pick up on, but with the training his parents had given him, he knew that smell. And it made his mouth water.

He knocked on the door a couple times expecting to get an answer from Lee still in his pj's holding that adorable bunny Felix had tucked him in with that night he was way too drunk to drive home. But as his knuckles wrapped the wood, the door came right open. 

“Lee?” He shouted across the threshold. 

He took a big deep breath. What would he find if he went inside? Lee wounded? Cut himself cooking? Could he control himself?

He took one step in and saw a pile of bloody clothes, his jumper covered in a warm stagnant milkshake, and a pair of bent up glasses, right by the door. Bloody hand prints covered his sink and counter edge where he used it as support to get to what appeared to be his bathroom. Where the sound of sniffles were coming from.

Lee was crumpled up in the shower still. Sobbing his eyes out. He was cold and felt disgusting. The shower floor was covered in red gobs of vomit here and there. He rocked back and forth for the whole night. 

Here it was time to go home and he was still hurting people. Maybe his mother thought that sending him away would fix something inside of him and come Summer, she would get her son back, but it seems to have just made things worse. 

He missed his sister, he missed his mother, he missed his life before England, however messed up it may have been, but he knew that he would never have it back, because his sister and his mother didn't want him back. 

He knew killing his father wasn't a good idea, it wasn't planned after all. He sent his sister into town to get the police as soon as he knew what would happen. He didn't want her in the house to see it, but when she came home and he was gone, they blamed Lee. 

They said that Lee had said something to him that made him leave. Said that it was Lee's fault he was gone, said that it was Lee's fault they didn't have money, everything was Lee's fault. 

He was willing to accept that, if it meant keeping them safe and in the dark about what he truly was. If it meant keeping her alive, he would never see her again. He just hoped Kayla would hate him forever. Not come looking for him one day in her 30's and find him in a ditch somewhere. He hoped his mom wouldn't either.

Felix saw him sitting in the tub-shower, head in his hands, crying. He kneeled down gently and brushed Lee's arm with a bent finger. “Hey, it's okay. I'm here.”

Lee looked over at him with the most pitiful big green eyes he had ever seen. They made him tear up a little himself. “You need to go..” He whimpered. “I'm not safe.” His whole body was trembling. “I'll hurt you. I can't hurt anyone anymore. I can't-”  

That's when it clicked with Felix. Lee was an Eater too. Lee was an eater, and he just killed someone. 

“You won't hurt me.” Felix quickly wrapped him into a hug, his cold, wet, body needing comfort. Lee grabbed his shirt and clung onto him for dear life.

“Is there anything left?” He asked.

Lee nodded and pointed to the fridge. 

“Do you mind telling me who..? My family has ways of covering up this kind of thing.”

Lee shook his head. He didn't wanna talk about it.

“Okay.” Felix whispered. “Are you still.. you know, hungry?” 

Lee nodded a little disappointedly. 

“Alright I'll warm it. You stay here, wash up and come out when you're ready.”

Lee nodded, sniffed, and waited for Felix to close the bathroom door and turn on the oven.

~•~

After Lee's shower he came out in his bathrobe hair dripping and Felix was pulling a large metal tray out of the oven. It smelt delicious, like baked chicken and spices. 

“What is that smell?” Lee almost moaned out.

“Breakfast, I hope he's good. I used most of him.”

Him. 

Lee sat down and covered his face with his hands, feeling extremely guilty for what he did. Felix let him have his space but held his hand as they ate. Well, held his hand as long as he stayed sane. Lee began by using the fork and knife he was given, but as he ate more and more, he favored his fingers as utensils. Felix noticed his glassy eyes and lack of control as he finished up. 

It looked like it had been months since he last ate. And right then Felix decided Lee needed his plate more than he did himself. As he pushed it over, Lee looked up at him with trepidation. Almost like he had forgotten he'd been sitting there watching. Like a scared animal getting ready to bolt.

“Go on, mate, it's okay. I won't hurt you.” He whispered as he laid both hands slowly on the tabletop so Lee could keep his eyes on them, something that made himself feel better when eating. This seemed to help.

He moaned a little after a while, letting himself get comfortable with Felix watching, knowing he wasn't gonna try to take any for himself. It was difficult for Felix to resist getting hard from just the sight. He took the left hand off Felix's plate, cracking it open and slurping the meat like crab legs.The digits Lee chewed and sucked on. One by one until they were gone. And he had completely taken down Michael Gavey. Bones and All. 

~•~

There was a long bite of silence after they finished, Felix wanted to give Lee time to come down from that delicious high. He knew that Lee just wanted to lay down in his bed and stare at the ceiling, be warm and cozy and maybe even cuddle a little bit.. but before that, Felix asked a question. “Do you have somewhere to go, When Uni ends?” 

Lee shook his head. “Mom kicked me out...” 

Felix looked down at his broken little eyes. “Why? She's your mother.” 

“Said I need.. find my own way. Said I was a-adult.” he panted, trying to speak through the daze.

“Mate, you're barely eighteen.” 

“Still an adult.” Lee struggled to keep his head up.

Felix decided it was time for the cuddles so he picked Lee up out of his chair and carried him over to his bed. It was strange how light he was after just taking down 50 pounds of bones and flesh. He laid Lee in and covered him up in the blankets, taking a moment to rub his distended tummy, causing a little moan to escape him. Felix smiled then slipping in himself. 

He began stroking his hair lightly. Lee melted into the touch. Like he hadn't felt love in years. Felix felt his heart break. He had to help him. “Come to Saltburn.” He blurted out. 

“No..” Lee mumbled, lifting his head from laying on Felix's chest, only for it to get pressed back down gently.

“Yeah.” Felix said with a smile.

“What if I hurt som-” He tried to lift himself off again and again Felix pressed him back down. 

“You can't. That's the best part. My whole family is like us. It's safe there.”

Those words zapped through Lee like a taser. His whole family? His sister and both parents, and they loved him, and it was safe? “Lier.” He said.

“No! I'm not lying, I swear. We all are. Duncan- the Butler, prepares the meals and everything. It's heaven.” 

“I'd feel weird..” he started to maybe accept the idea, and the affection. Scooting his pelvis up onto Felix's right leg. Not quite grinding but getting close. The warmth and softness was definitely enough to bust through the control he had been trying to practice with the meal.

“No you won't feel weird. I mean mum has people come and stay for months at a time.” He took Lee's face in his hands. “She would love you. So would dad.” 

Lee leaned into Felix's chest. That growl in his guts subsided and replaced with a comforting heavily stuffed full feeling. It felt weird to not think of him as food. But something just… changed.

“And you know what, if you get sick of us or you feel uncomfortable. You can leave. I promise. I just couldn't live with myself if I left you. And you would sort of be doing me a favor too, Farleigh usually comes to stay. But we aren't speaking.I don't know, it might get lonely.. and to be honest you're the best person I know. I'd even consider you my favorite person if it weren't for my sister. Knowing that you're like me, that you're an Eater too, it just makes me want to hang on to you that much more.” 

After a while of thinking Lee nodded sleepily. 

“So is that a yes?” 

Lee nodded again. 

“Really?!”

Lee giggled and agreed.

“Great! Okay, I'll help you pack.” he said excitedly but still quietly.

Lee shrugged, “I don't.. have much.” 

Felix remembered why he lent him the jumper. “Right, well that's okay, I'll still help.” He smiled. Lee smiled back. For the first time he felt like maybe the universe wasn't out to get him.

He just laid there and let himself fall to sleep softly. Felix pressed small kisses to his forehead and temples and he felt like the luckiest guy in the world. He felt Felix's heart racing with love as he tried to calm down. It made him smile as he nodded off.

Chapter Text

Lee woke up an hour or two later Felix was still laying under him just watching him sleep. “Good afternoon, mate.” Lee was still incredibly full and groggy but he smiled up at Felix as he pressed another kiss to his temple. “We should really get packing. I know I have a lot of crap to lug into boxes.” 

Lee nodded.

In the time it took him to mop up the blood pool under the pile of clothes in the floor, Lee was packed and ready. His four shirts and three pairs of shredded jeans. His two books he had bought, his melatonin, sensitive skin lotion, and everything in his bathroom. He planned on staying for the ceremony even though his parents wouldn't be coming to see it. It was just something he always wanted to do.

Felix looked down at the milk ruined jumper. “What happened here?” He asked.

Farleigh. He threw a milkshake at me. He told me to tell you to stop ignoring him. Is what he wanted to say. Nothing would come out, but the way Felix looked at him.. he just couldn't tell a lie. “Your friend Farleigh.. um.. he dumped it.. on me..” 

Felix scoffed and then angrily laughed. “You know, I honestly thought if he'd changed, maybe he could come stay with us during the summer but I guess not.. I'm not letting him get away with this anymore. It's gone on far too long now, I mean he's been bullying you since the first day of school.”

“Yeah.. but I don't want you to regret that..” Lee mumbled.

 “I'm not gonna regret anything.” Felix said as he ran a hand through his hair and down his cheek. “You're special to me. I don't want you to be unhappy anymore. If I have to kick several asses to do it.”

Lee giggled a bit. 

“Cute laugh.” Felix smiled.

Lee blushed. “Thanks.” 

Felix wanted to pull him in, bask in the warmth of his skin, kiss his pouty little lips. But he knew what his priorities were. Affection can wait till after all the Is are dotted, and all the Ts are crossed. "Do you mind letting me know what that name is now?” 

Lee looked down.

“It helps that it's the last day of school. He just skipped out on the ceremony and went home, like I'm gonna do.” He asked. 

“Michael Gavey.” Lee whispered sadly.

“Okay.” He whispered back with a squeeze to Lee's thin body, his bones digging into Felix's abdomen. Short and skinny, would be easy to throw around.. A cute little guy. Felix would never have guessed he was an eater by the looks of him. 

Lee turned his body and pulled his arms up to his chest, nuzzling into a standing cuddle. Felix held him close and pressed kisses to the top of his head. 

Lee's knees were on the verge of buckling after a while so Felix carried him to his bed for a nap and a snuggle. 

Felix could tell he was tired. Not so much because of a lack of sleep, but more like he could never truly relax and now with a promise of a castle and a family who would understand him. He was finally able to just. Be.

~•~

Felix left an hour later, after Lee had fallen asleep, planning on coming back to hug him more, but deciding he should probably tell Farleigh he was no longer invited, rather than letting him just assume it. So he hopped on his speed bike and strode over.

~•~

After Felix knocked a couple times Farleigh finally pulled open the door. “Ah, Felix. I figured I'd be seeing you. We're going to have the-”

“You're not coming.” He said darkly.

“Wait..what?”

“You're. Not. Coming. You're mean to my friends, you cheat on tests, and you've been using me for my money since the day we met. Come on Farleigh.”

“Woah, Felix, come on!” He laughed and brushed It off. “I'm nice, I just have a bully humor, it's fine.”

“It's not fine, Farleigh. You poured a fucking milkshake on him.” Felix was using his hands to gesture outwards. Trying to get his point across.

“What are you talking about? No I didn't.” Farleigh said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Look! Look at you! You're trying to gaslight me!” Felix shouted, pointing at him accusingly.

“I'm not gaslighting you, he's lying! You're really going to believe some stranger over me, your best friend?”

“I met you in 10th grade, Farleigh.. people change. Obviously you have.” 

Farleigh sat there staring Felix in the eye, slightly shaking his head. “You know, I'm the only reason you passed biology. And if I have to, I'll help you again, but I don't want you hanging out with some low life! I mean he can't even pay his own tab.” 

“And I don't care!” Felix yelled. “I'll flunk out of this stupid university if I have to!”

Farleigh looked shocked by this. Shocked because he couldn't imagine his old friend Felix saying something like that. Being so kind and taking anybody under his wing. He and Farley used to be the mean girls of the highschool. But Felix had morphed into this something.. Farleigh didn't understand.

Felix sighed. Pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers to soothe his headache. “Look, I just came over here to clear some things up, you'll have to find other arrangements for the summer. If you don't have them, I apologize, but I can't help you."

"So what you're just going to kick me out after I planned to stay all summer?"

"I didn't know that you would still be expecting to come over, I mean we haven't talked in forever.”

“Well I was hoping this would be our saving Grace.” Farleigh said, looking him up and down

“No.” Is all Felix could mutter.

There's a long bit of silence before Farleigh responded, “What am I going to do about food..” in a pitiful tone that Felix could tell was not fake.

“You'll have to hunt.” 

“Hunt..” Farleigh scoffed. “As if humans are cattle for our slaughter.” 

“This is just the way we have to live, okay.”

“Oh I'm well aware. You forget you only had your first when you were 16. Try being 12.”

Felix sighed. “I know.” 

“I mean my parents are all the way in America! That's not right next door, Felix."

“I know.”

“Well?!” Farleigh said expectantly, holding out his hand.

“What?” Felix replied.

“Well, if you don't want me in your house then.. I'll get a hotel. But I need some cash." 

“Go fuck yourself.” He said as he turned the corner. 

Walking away he heard, “You're going to regret this! I'll make you regret this!” As a door slammed shut. 

Felix paid no attention to the door or the threat, Farleigh was always dramatic. He brushed his hair from his eyes and pulled out his phone and texted his sister Venetia.

After he sent the last message he went back to his dorm and got ready for his sister to pick him up and take him home.

~•~

About an hour later Lee was sitting in a chair waiting for his name to be called A's B's C's all the way down to his last name and once the name was called, it didn't really sound like his own. He would be the first of his bloodline to go to college and the first of his bloodline to graduate it's a wonder he was even able to get in and it's a wonder his mother was able to scrape the money by to keep him in.

She must have really hated me..

He rose from his seat and began walking up the stage and to his professor shaking his hand and retrieving his diploma. As he walked back down the aisle he scanned the crowd half expecting to maybe see his mother or his sister but of course he did not.

~•~

The next night was rough sleeping on the floor after the dorms had been swept of their items including cupboards and closets, he was practically the only one still there but he didn't want to head out today because of the traffic plus he needed to change the oil in his truck.

The next day he got up out of bed bright and early grabbing his Bunny. Shoving her into a suitcase was his final item to pack before he raced out to the parking lot, dumped some oil in his truck after pulling out the pan underneath, making sure to scrub his hands, wincing at the stains, and hopping in. Readying himself for Saltburn.

~•~

Lee stood there. Looking up at the tall metal giants. The gates of Saltburn. 

He felt like what he was doing was a big mistake, but he couldn't stop himself. His stomach did flips and his heart was racing but he drew a deep breath and huffed it out, stamping out what was left of his cigarette, walking forwards and letting himself through.

England was so different compared to Kentucky, where he was from. 

His feet ached, he wasn't used to the mile long tracks. Being a student finally had him settled in one place for a couple months, but back at home all he did was drive around in his robin's egg blue truck. 

“The truck he took from a guy named Barry after he killed and ate him.” Would be more truthful, but that's not the point. 

His frame was a bit less gaunt then back then but he was still slim and muscular. Couldn't exactly go without it for that long and people usually don't just give themselves to you.

The hunger wouldn't hide itself away the entire drive. Each time someone would cycle by at a red light, or he passed by a group of teens, his mouth would water. He tried to ignore it but eventually realized he would need to eat. It would be much easier now, living with Felix and his family, but it would still be difficult to try to build his tolerance and pace himself.

Living with Him the beautiful man would not make things any easier. 

Lee walked through the gates and knocked on the large door. Three, four times? On his Fourth knock the door swung open. He was met with a strange older man.

“Mr. Lee. You're early.” Something about him gave Lee the creeps.

“Oh yeah, uh.. I didn't really know where it was.. so I wanted to have plenty of time.”

“Well, do let us know next time. You see, the gates were not open.”

What does that matter? He thought.  “Uh that's okay. I just pushed-”

“We sent someone to pick you up.”

Crap. Now you've done it, Lee! “Oh, man.. sorry-” he replied.

“Not at all… follow me.” He said with a fake smile and looked Lee up and down. His red hair threw the man off. He wasn't used to seeing that sort of thing living with the Catton’s.

He said “at all” in a funny way. More like ‘a-tall.’ It was different from the twang he was used to. Everything was different. The only familiar thing was the hunger he felt. Even the meat was different here. 

Stop it! He thought.

The strange man walked swiftly back into the castle. Lee ran towards him but had to double back for the suitcase he left on the front steps. 

As he rolled it along the cracked brick walkway the wheels clattered and banged loudly. It sounded like he had pushed it down a flight of stairs. 

The only other sounds besides the annoying mosquitoes that nipped at his skin, was of his dingy Reeboks, that had no visible sign of once being white, shuffling on the floor, out of sync with the butlers rhythmic clip-clomps. The sound echoed because the building was quite old and empty. He got self conscious and eventually picked up his stupid suitcase entirely and carried it the rest of the way inside.

Lee felt awkward as the butler walked through an archway into what looked to be the foyer. 

It was beautiful, everything was gorgeous and silver and shiny and polished. What wasn't silver was gold, and what wasn't gold was marble, and what wasn't marble was canvas. Canva’s holding paintings on the walls of beautiful people of the past and figures of great remembrance. 

“Wow..” He sighed, looking around at all there was to see. He was pinching himself on the inside. 

His eyes panned up to a magnificent sparkling silver chandelier with swoops and loops. 

But suddenly everything was less of a fantasy. 

He caught sight of a yellow sticky fly trap filled with fruit flies. Hiding in plain sight. He felt wrong for noticing it. He knew how it felt to be the one, tiny, disgusting, thing in a whole metaphoric castle that ruined the entire experience. 

But what irked him the most was that one of them was still alive, its wings twitching as it struggled for a chance to be free. Just one more shot at a life it was privileged to have, not so much guaranteed to live.

That's what irked him the most.

He took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself when he noticed The Butler had stepped closer to him. He smelled of eucalyptus and mint and he was right in Lee's face. 

He sort of felt like he did it on purpose but also understood he was thinking crazy. 

He smelt nice enough, but his skin was wrinkled and limp. Not the soft suppleness, the plumpness, the spring of youthful flesh that he craved from his unspeakable meals. The ones that left him with nightmares for months, just until he had to do it again. 

“Just leave your bag there, someone will get it for you.” He all but whispered. Lee's stomach didn't growl, weird.

Suddenly Felix erupted from a doorway. “Lee!! Thank God you're here! I'll show him to his room Duncan, don't worry. Lee, try not to be too terrified of Duncan, and Duncan, stop being so frightening in front of my friend.” Felix pointed jokingly in accusation at his butler and put his arm around Lee, who was looking awfully green, by now.

“Oh I'll try.. at least..” Duncan mumbled the last part.

“Come on mate, I'll show you ‘round!' he smiled, his eyebrow stud was gone. Lee wondered if he knew, but before he could ask, he was being pulled by Felix's hand. He felt his heart skip a beat and his mouth beginning to dry out which he was thankful for between all the salivating he had been doing that day. 

“He's terrifying!” Lee whispered harshly as Felix guided him around to another hallway.

“Eh, he's fine. He's just…odd. Older. Eaten more. Just try to ignore him.” Felix returned rubbing his own lower lip.

“Kay so..uhh.. red staircase.” Felix pointed. Indeed it was red. 

He turned into an archway on the right. “I accidentally fingered my cousin.. here.” He pointed to a frumpy set of dressers, oddly placed in the hallway. 

“Henry 7ths cabinet.” He pointed again. Lee rushed behind him, not really being able to properly look at anything but amazed at the idea that he had a cabinet from a person so old in his home. 

“Ghost of granny.” Felix clapped his hands together like he was about to pray. “Hi Granny!” he said and smiled but quickly returned to the tail spin of a “house tour.” 

Lee had never lived in a house much less a trailer with more than three bedrooms, so at this point, he had already gotten lost, even trailing behind his friend. They turned into a room on the left.

“Green room.” He declared dragging out the Es. 

“The gardens.” He pointed out a window to the left.

“Some fucking hideous Rubens.” Felix's face looked pained as he gestured to the right, powering through this room. Lee had no idea what Rubens were, but he accepted that whatever they were, the ones he was referencing were hideous compared to others. 

“Er, blue room.. it's blue..” Felix kept going straight. Nothing valuable to mention in this room.

“..and kings bedroom! Actually the bed still has some of Henry the 8th’s spunk on it.”

Lee stifled a laugh. ‘Spunk.’ Such a less crude way of putting it, compared to the terms they used in the south.

Next thing he knew, they were in a room that looked like a library. “This is the long gallery.” Felix said putting his pointer fingers on each hand together, and then stretching them far out wide from each other, to emphasize the shape of the room.

“Dead reli. Dead relies.” Felix sounded bored and pointed to different urns around the room. “Daddy's old Teddy.” He pointed to a teddy bear sitting on a green armchair. It looked soft and was easily as big as an average toddler. “Guess you have that in common, huh?” 

Lee nodded and smiled. His father once ripped Rosé’s head off because he said it would “Make you a man.” he was happy that Felix's dad wasn't like that.

“Did you bring your bunny?” He asked. 

Lee nodded.

“Well take her out, don't want her suffocating in there.”

Lee nodded quickly, bending down to get Rosé out of his suitcase. Once he had retrieved her and zipped it back up, cuddling her to his chest Felix continued, grabbing Lee's suitcase out of his hand and rolling it along the floor. It sounded less clangy and bangy inside but it still made a prominent noise as it rolled across the hardwood floors. A noise that Felix charismatically ignored.

“Shakespeare's folio..” He ran his fingers across one row of books on the long bookshelf. “..and.. maze..” He pointed outside through a window. “Erm, I don't really like going in there much anymore. We're just through here.” He took another left turn, Lee was starting to catch up, Felix was a lot taller than him so it was hard when he ran around like a decapitated chicken.

“Er.. my room. You'll be staying just next door.” 

As Lee walked through the room he stumbled over what appeared to be a pair of boxers he blushed extremely and tried to continue on being a pace or two behind now. The room smell like Felix 10 fold, his clothes, his bedding, everything flooded Lee's scenes. It made him a little busy in a good way.

Felix turned into another room. “Bathroom. Ooh…by the way, we'll be sharing a bathroom, I hope you don't mind. Otherwise you'll be miles away on the other end of the house.” 

Lee shook his head. He didn't mind a bit. He was used to sharing a bathroom with his mother, sister and fa-....well. Never mind. 

This was nothing.

“Good.” Felix smiled and continued on. 

“Dressing.. room.” His face scrunched up. He closed a cabinet door and banged loudly on it with his fist. “This one won't close correctly, so you have to hit it.” 

Lee nodded.

Felix smiled at him and started off again.

“And-” he drug out the word, drum rolling on the archway. “Your room!” 

Lee looked inside, cautiously stepping over the threshold. 

A big room, twice the size of the master bedroom at his house, with lovely beige walls and small cream Florentine Fleur De Lis patterns stenciled on. Lee thought it was strange that this English house would have French paintings stenciled on it, but this stencil was quite popular at his local craft store back home.

“If you ever get scared or anything, don't be afraid to come tell me.” 

Lee nodded and tried to hide his blush, which was easy in this shadowy house. 

“Do you want anything? I know you smoke, need an ashtray?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure, thanks.”

“Right I'll get that. Oh!” he stopped as he was turning to leave. “One more thing, mum has a phobia of beards and stubble so I left a razor for you in the bathroom. It's sharp so be careful mate, don't slit your throat.” 

Lee nodded.

“Right, well, I'll go get your ashtray.” And like that he was off.

Lee stood back and took a deep breath. Home? Home… Home. He thought, as if testing the word. He shook his face, feeling the burning in his cheeks and the dorky smile he had been wearing for an hour. He decided to unpack his small bit of things.

~•~

As he unpacked Felix came in and laid a gold ashtray on the window sill. “Make sure you keep it emptied when you're finished. Another of moms phobias.” He said with an eye roll and a chuckle. Lee nodded.

After placing it down Felix walked over and sat on the bed. 

“Hm?” Lee asked.

“They're all waiting in the library. Excited to meet you.” He said with a smile, Lee could tell he was being cheerful but he was still nervous.

“Well, let's not keep them waiting.” He sighed.

“Oh no, mate. The stubble, remember? You gotta scrap it.”

Lee rubbed his face, nothing much. “Its nothing.” he whined.

“I'm sorry mate, I told ya. Clean shaven.”

Lee sighed. Felix walked into the bathroom with him as Lee picked up the straight razor, Felix sat on the toilet lid. It looked more like a pocket knife than a razor. Lee was immediately scared. 

“Um.. how do I..”

“Here, let me see.” Felix said standing, and taking it softly from his hands.

He pointed to the lid and Felix sat where he had previously been. Felix took the can of shave foam and lightly rubbed it onto Lee's soft skin. Blood is an excellent moisturizer. Lee sat as still as he could as Felix came close to his face, being extremely careful with the blade. 

Lee felt a hunger bubbling up. But not the one he usually felt. Lee felt himself stiffening. Getting hard as Felix was mere inches away from his lips, paying him all the attention in the world. He couldn't hide  the tent and his pants for long and it was BAD. He was needy and clingy and craved Felix's mouth. He had to say something before this got awkward.

“Felix..” he said, moving as little as possible. 

“Hm?” He asked.

“Um..I need to tell you something..”

Chapter Text

"Well, what is it?” Felix replied not looking away from Lees face. He knew. He was just teasing Lee, wanting him to beg Felix him to step away.. or step closer. “You what?” He said as he gave Lee the last strip of the shave, rinsing the blade for the millionth time since he started.

“I need.. oh God..” Lee sighed he felt like he finally had a breath of fresh air. “I need a minute alone.” He said, folding over himself slightly, hiding the tent in his pants. 

“Alright, but don't be loud- long. Um.. Don't take a while, everyone's waiting.” He said with a smirk as he laid the razor down and went to join his family in the library.

Lee whined to himself as Felix left the room. He rubbed his palm down the length of himself over his pants. This made him whine more.

Off.

They had to come off.

He shoved them to the floor and wrapped his head around his cock, erect, blushed at the tip and sticky with precum. He felt his warm palm around it and couldn't help but moan. 

God, he would be so screwed if anyone caught him, he couldnt do it. He couldn't just jack off in their shared bathroom! He needed to calm down. Keep it in his pants 

Felix's brown eye finally strayed away from the crack in the door as he saw Lee put his cock away. He walked back to the living room slowly and sat down with his father to watch the telly.

Lee came out, still somewhat weak-legged. He went back to his room when he saw a woman. She was wearing a black pantsuit and she was holding Rosé.

“Cute little thing, isn't it?” She said without turning around.

“What are you doing?!” He said harshly. “Please don't touch my stuff.” 

“Oh, I'm sorry.” She sighed as she gently put the bunny down on the bed where she had been laying. 

Lee sighed. “It's just.. private.” 

The girl nodded but continued to rifle through his things, putting away his clothes and his bathroom supplies, as well as taking some off of a cart she had carried into the room. “Are you a maid or something?” He asked.

The woman said, “No, I'm a housekeeper.”

Lee didn't really know the difference but figured he wouldn't argue with her. “Right, well I can put away my own things.” 

“Oh heavens no I wouldn't dream about it, Elspeth has given strict orders. And her orders get followed.”

That was all that was said about the matter. Lee eventually changed and went back to the room where Felix had mentioned. 

“And his parents abused him?” He heard a woman ask as he walked slowly down the hall. 

“Yes, so be gentle around the subject. No yelling.” Felix ordered her.

“What about his eating? How is he?” a different female voice asked.

“It's a bit animalistic, but he's never had training. He’s never met one before me. Other than his father.” Felix sighed. 

“And the rabbit helps him with the anxiety?” A man asked. Lee assumed it was Felix's father.

“Yeah, but it's relaxed. Don't make a thing of it.” Felix hissed right before Lee walked into the room.

Felix was sitting on the floor under his Father in a chair. His mother and another woman on the couch were chatting while they were watching tv. A woman in the skimpiest tube top sat behind them in a chair. 

“There.. he.. is now. We were just talking about you.” The woman said with a smile, not in a mean way, just playful. Lee recognized her as Felix's sister from the pictures he saw of her.

“Only good things,” The other woman- Felix's mother said as she stood. “Oh what beautiful eyes you have,” She said as she took stood and his hands

“Yeah I told you he wasn't a minger.” Felix cooed. 

“Yes, but you're kind to everyone darling, you can't be trusted.” She hummed looking deeply into Lee's green emerald eyes. 

Pretty too? Hm.. maybe he had confessed his feelings to his family.. did everyone know but me?

Lee smiled at her slightly as she spoke. “Lee, I have a complete and utter horror for ugliness. I don't know why, ever since I was a child.”

“Maybe because you're a horrible person.” Felix mumbled. 

“Don't be mean!” His mother laughed, returning back to her seat. “Have you eaten? We have a lovely teen girl in the deli fre-”

“Stop, the boys just arrived!” Felix's father interrupted her. He stood from his chair and walked over, “It's lovely to meet you Lee, Felix has told us so much over the phone.” he said, shaking his hand.

“Thank you Sir. Lovely home you have.” He said, turning on the southern manners his mama taught him. 

“Oh No! Don't with the sir’s and ma’ams, we can't stand anything like that here” Felix's mother said, pulling him towards the couch between them. “Go on, come sit by me.” She smiled kindly. We just can't wait for you to stay, you're going to be so happy here. This is my friend Pamela.” She said, introducing the woman sitting next to her on the couch. 

Lee shook the woman's hand. He could tell she wasn't like them. Wasn't.. an eater. “She's staying with us until she gets back on her feet.” The woman sighed and huffed, making goo goo eyes at him. He felt a little uncomfortable so he leaned over towards Elspeth. He thought she caught on because she said, “Pamela darling, could you go ask Annie about tea?”

She was still gawking at Lee when she realized she was being spoken to. “Hm?”

“You know. Annie.”

“Right.. Annie. Where?”

“In the kitchen, dear. Annie. You'll work it out.”

“Right. I'll work it out.” She stood and walked down the hall. “Annie in the kitchen. Annie in the kitchen.” She mumbled to herself as she walked. 

“Poor dear Pamela, she's been staying with us until she gets on her feet, God help her, shes had such an awful time this year, horrible awful, Oh-! But so have you, Lee! I'm so sorry to hear about your father. How utterly utterly tragic, you must be traumatized.” 

“Mum..” Felix whispered. 

Lee just nodded, not really wanting to get her off topic but not quite paying full attention. 

“I mean the men, Lee, you wouldn't believe it. Hell she doesn't even know what an eater is, I had her scurry away so you wouldn't get molested.” 

“Mum.” Felix whispered a little louder, it was more like a growl.

The room fell deathly quiet. Even the TV was apparently muted as they were talking. It made Lee feel awkward, like his teeth were itchy. He needed sound. Everything was too strange for there not to be sound. 

“I'm just thankful to have Felix.” He said, smiling at him. Felix smirked back, returning his eyes to the TV. Still nobody spoke.

“Let's go up to your room shall we?” Felix asked. Lee looked around and when he was sure nobody was moving or talking, nodded.

~•~

“Ugh!” Felix sighed as he flopped down onto Lee's bed.

“Felix..” Lee started. He needed to tell him. He wanted to. Could he? No. He couldn't. He was a coward. 

“Mhm?” Felix answered back, staring up at the ceiling. 

“..n-nothing.. nevermind.”

 Felix sighed as if it were nothing. “Here hold your bunny and relax, dinner is soon so you'll feel a lot better tonight," He said as he helped Lee up onto the bed where he was laying. Lee cuddled with her and Felix pulled Lee close, big spooning him.

“Felix?” Lee mumbled 

“Hm?” Felix said a little more prominently, not wanting to be brushed off any more. 

“What are we?” Lee finally asked, his bunny pressed to his face.

“We are whatever you want us to be.” Felix sighed.

“Okay.” he said with a childish tone. Rubbing his stuffie over his mouth and nose.

Felix was silent for a moment before grabbing Lee and rolling him over.

Cuddled up on Felix bed. Head on his chest, fingers combing through his hair. His hunger increased and melded into this warmth that spread through him like hot cocoa. He felt so safe and cozy with Felix, safe to be hungry and know he would be okay, and Felix would be okay. 

The two of them eventually decided they would play some card games to pass the time. Gin rummy, poker, solitaire? Nope. Uno. They played six or seven rounds straight of Uno.

~•~

Felix sighed with a smile as Lee's stomach finally growled. “I was wondering if you would get hungry sooner.” He hummed as he kissed Lee more. 

“Felix, When's dinner?" Lee mumbled cutely.

“Oh, Right now I suppose.” Felix kissed his ear with a smile then quickly pulled away and lifted himself to his feet. “Come along.” 

Lee smiled.

~•~

Dinner time came around. Lee and Felix walked in together and sat at the lonely dinner table.

“Welcome boys.” Duncan spoke. 

“Where's mum?” Felix asked.

“Your mother and father decided you two should eat this meal alone since the boy is fairly new to this. Eating singularly and all that.”

Lee looked at Felix who shrugged. “Alright. That's fine. We're ready.”

“Yes sir.”

“Oh my God..” Lee gasped and covered his eyes.