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Chapter Text

The Mirror of Loss looms over Shadowheart, filling up her entire vision. She stares at its non reflecting surface. It sucks light itself.

There shouldn't be anything staring back at her other than purest darkness, but she sees her own reflection.

She's standing there, clad in her Mother Superior robes. Shar is standing behind her, cold arms wrapped around Shadowheart in an embrace.

All eventually find their way into Shar's embrace, she's lucky to be chosen so early.

Shar's hand moves to Shadowheart's throat and the embrace gets tighter. And tighter. Until Shadowheart can't breathe anymore.

She's suffocating.

She's watching her own face contort in agony as Shar's lips are curved in a smile.

Shadowheart woke up gasping for air, her heart pounding fast. She blinked and found herself in her own bedchambers in the cloister. It was dark. Tav was gently snoring next to her.

It took her a moment to realize it had been the same recurring dream she had had now for quite some time.

It was always the same. The mirror. The embrace.

When she had dreamed of it the first time, it had been a normal, almost pleasant dream. Her goddess' embrace.

Until it started to get more suffocating each time she had the dream. Shadowheart could still feel it in her throat as she swallowed, like something was stuck in it.

Shadowheart turned to look at sleeping Tav, her face relaxed, probably having pleasant, normal dreams.

She reached for Tav, but stopped as the feeling in her throat lingered. This is just a distraction, she reminded herself as she watched Tav next her, so warm and inviting.

She'll be gone soon, like always, she thought, like it should be.

My heart, all of it, belongs to the Lady of Loss. She claims all things sooner or later.

Her chest tightens at that last thought, but she lets it go. You can't hold onto anything after all, it's all fleeting. Blooming for one short moment before it's gone. That's why you need to learn to embrace loss, just to survive in this world.

Shadowheart sighed and was about to close her eyes and get back to sleep when Tav stirred. Tav's lips immediately curved into a smile as her gaze landed on Shadowheart.

"Is it morning yet?" came the sleepy question.

"Not quite." Shadowheart answered, unable to fight the smile pulling at her lips.

"That means we still have time." Tav said, suddenly looking less tired, eager eyes gazing into Shadowheart's.

"Time? For what exactly?" Shadowheart asked, keeping her voice innocent as her fingers traced Tav's arm. Suddenly the nightmare and all thoughts that came with it were chased away as arousal started to take over.

Tav pulled her blanket down and took hold of Shadowheart's hand, laying it on her chest.

"Oh, I think you know..." Tav answered, her voice much lower, a certain familiar glint in her eyes.

In one swift move Shadowheart was on top of her and straddled her waist. One of her hands immediately went for Tav's breast, first squeezing it and then pinching her nipple. The other went for Tav's throat, her fingers wrapping around it and giving it a light squeeze.

Shadowheart enjoyed the aroused look on Tav's face, her pupils dilated, mouth hanging slightly open, breathing quickened.

"Oh I do know." Shadowheart's voice was low and carried an edge of danger as she bent down to kiss Tav. Her tongue was rough, dominating. Tav moaned against her mouth and gasped as Shadowheart's teeth captured her lip at the end of the kiss biting it lightly.

"Ride my face?" Tav managed to ask after Shadowheart pulled away from the kiss.

"Don't have to ask me twice." Shadowheart murmured in a low voice as she maneuvered herself to straddle Tav's head.

Her thighs pressed softly against the sides of Tav's head as she lowered herself against Tav's mouth. As soon as Tav could reach, her tongue licked across Shadowheart's folds, making Shadowheart sigh and put her hand on Tav's head.

"If you perform well, I might let you come as well." she said in a low voice, her fingers entangled in Tav's hair, pulling lightly, earning an eager muffled moan from Tav.

Shadowheart moaned when Tav's tongue found her clit, teasing it with licks and circling it with the tip of her tongue. She was grinding herself against Tav's mouth, the grip on her hair tightening. Shadowheart smiled as she heard Tav whimper against her pussy.

When Tav took her whole clit into her mouth and sucked on it, Shadowheart threw her head back and let out a low moan.

"That's it, keep doing that, my little hero." Shadowheart breathed out, her voice laden with lust and a bit strangled already as pleasure racked through her body.

Shadowheart's moans only got louder as Tav did as was asked of her. She grinded harder and harder against Tav's face, her hand guiding Tav's head along. The pleasure was building up and the looming orgasm approached fast. Suddenly she shuddered and cried out as it came crashing down, racking her whole body.

The movement of Shadowheart's hips slowed down gradually as she eased herself through the high. She was a sight to behold with her eyes shut tight, her mouth slightly hanging open, loose black hair framing her face, soft moans escaping her lips.

Shadowheart opened her eyes and looked down at Tav nestled between her thighs. Tav was looking up at her with eyes that could only be called adoring. Shadowheart swallowed hard at the sight and the fluttering, warm feeling it caused in her chest. She tried to ignore the feeling and forced her lips into a smug grin.

"You did well, my little hero." she said and eased her grip on Tav's hair, "Tell me, what do you wish for reward?"

"To ride you." Tav answered without hesitation. Blush was covering her cheeks and the want in her eyes was palpable.

"Oh..." Shadowheart said and faked contemplating it hard, putting her index finger on her chin, "I suppose that could be arranged."

With one fluid motion she moved off Tav and laid on her back on the bed. She reached for her nightstand and pulled a magically enhanced strap out of one of its drawers. She put the harness on and touched the dick part slightly, sighing at the touch, the magic imbued within allowed her to feel sensations through it.

She laid back on the bed and put her arms behind her head and with a grin of satisfaction she looked at Tav and asked: "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Tav got up, licked her lips and settled between Shadowheart's legs. She took hold of the shaft and moved her hand along with it a few times before taking the shaft into her mouth and coated the whole length with her saliva.

After she was satisfied with her work, Tav straddled Shadowheart's hips and guided the dick to her opening and slipped the head in. Tav lowered herself easily on Shadowheart's shaft having gotten already very aroused earlier. A moan escaped from her lips and a deep sigh from Shadowheart's.

Tav was still for a moment, getting used to the stretch, biting her lip and looking at Shadowheart who still kept her arms behind her back, looking lazily at Tav, waiting for her to do all the work. And she would.

Another moan escaped from Tav as she lifted herself up, dragging her channel along Shadowheart's shaft and then lowering herself back down, impaling herself on it, her head rolling back at the feeling of getting filled up again. She kept doing it slow at first, getting used to it, enjoying the sensation, but soon the arousal took over and she started to move faster, moans flowing freely from her lips.

Shadowheart looked at Tav through half-lidded eyes: How her leg muscles worked to move herself on Shadowheart's shaft, how Tav's right hand had moved to work on her clit at the same time, how her left was playing with her nipple.

Tav looked beautiful and Shadowheart's grin turned into a softer smile as she watched Tav's face contort in pleasure. Shadowheart basked in pleasure too, the feeling of Tav's tight channel around her. She lifted her own hand to play with Tav's other breast, her hips slightly bucking in time with Tav’s, who opened her eyes to look at her.

It didn't take long as Tav's movements turned more forceful and she came crying Shadowheart's name. That and her channel clenching around Shadowheart's dick was almost enough to send Shadowheart over the edge. Almost.

Tav collapsed against Shadowheart, breathing heavily. Shadowheart's hand soothingly caressed her back for a moment as she came back from the high.

After a moment Shadowheart flipped them over, earning a surprised yelp from Tav.

"I haven't quite come yet." she said, her voice low and husky and she started pushing into Tav.

Tav nodded and wrapped her legs around her waist to allow her further in. Shadowheart grinned and drove herself deeper, her hips snapping against Tav's. Tav moved with her, whispering encouraging words into her ear about how good she felt and how beautiful she looked.

It only took a few more thrusts, bottoming out, before she came grunting and panting, breathing heavily, her eyes closing to enjoy the feeling of bliss.

When Shadowheart finally opened them again, she found Tav looking at her again with those same soft eyes as earlier. She swallowed heavily and rolled off Tav and onto her back, removing the harness and discarding it on the nightstand.

"That was amazing, Shadowheart." Tav said, turning to look at her.

"Yes, it was great." Shadowhear replied, staring at the ceiling, mind filled with conflicting emotions, "We should probably rest now."

Shadowheart avoided looking Tav in the eye, she couldn't bear to see that soft emotion.

Tav remained silent after that.

Shadowheart closed her eyes, but sleep didn't come. She spent a long while thinking about her dream, thinking about the sleeping form next to her and her mind wandering to all those things she should have let go a long time ago.

Loss was a gift after all.

At some point her Lady's darkness reached her and she drifted off to dreamless sleep.

The next morning Shadowheart lounged in bed, observing Tav getting ready to leave. The bittersweetness was already settling into her heart and mind.

She got up as she saw Tav had finished gathering up her things and was about to go.

"I guess this is it then, till the next time." Tav sighed and looked at Shadowheart with sad eyes.

"Until next time, Tav." Shadowheart replied and gave Tav a kiss on the forehead.

Tav turned to the door and had her hand on the handle, but then she suddenly turned around and pressed herself against Shadowheart, laying her hands against Shadowheart's chest and her head in the crook of Shadowheart's neck.

"I really don't want to go..." Tav whispered, her voice so quiet Shadowheart almost didn't hear it.

Shadowheart froze in place at Tav's gesture, but most of all at Tav's words. It made her heart ache. She knew this moment would hurt, the loss, the letting go. Hearing Tav say it out loud hurt many times more.

There can't be any room for this... this is already more than there should be, she reminded herself and did nothing to hug Tav back.

"Tav... you know how it is, how the absence will make our hearts grow fonder and the next time we meet, it will be so sweet to taste the forbidden fruit again."

"But separating from you just hurts more each time." Tav's voice is small, almost weak. Shadowheart can't remember the last time she's heard Tav sound like that.

"Tav, we've talked about this many times." Shadowheart reminded her and tried to keep her voice composed, but it didn't match the inner turmoil she was feeling.

"I know, I know... I'm sorry, I'll... go." Tav said, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes and she turned around without looking at Shadowheart.

She was so quickly out of the door Shadowheart didn't have time to say anything else. There was a part of her that screamed at herself to run after Tav.

Then there was the dutiful part who moved her body to get ready for the day, doing her hair for the day, then her makeup and putting on her Mother Superior robes.

The woman looking at her from the mirror certainly didn't look happy, but she looked familiar. She looked like she was fulfilling the role Shar had trusted upon her. No matter how much pain there was in her chest.

Pain is sacred to the followers of Shar and I am her chosen.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She went to open it to find Nocturne standing on the other side.

"Mother Superior, is this a bad time?" Nocturne asked, raising her eyebrow lightly.

"She's gone if that's what you're asking." Shadowheart said with a wry smile and stepped to the side to let her friend in. Her one and only these days.

"Oh, so soon?" Nocturne asked after the door closed.

"I had to cut it short this time for you know who's visit."

"Ah, speaking of! I got word, her envoy has been spotted at the city gate, she'll probably arrive here soon."

"Great, well I'm ready for her highness." Shadowheart said with a lopsided smile.

"I'm sorry though..."

"For what?"

"That you and Tav..." Nocturne started but then stopped, weighing her words, "That it was cut short this time." she continued.

Shadowheart was sure she saw a hint of sadness in her eyes. Was Nocturne feeling sorry for her? Was she really this obvious? This sloppy?

"Ah, you know, carnal pleasures are nice, but there's always the next time. Right?" Shadowheart brushed it off, keeping her tone of voice light.

"Right..." Nocturne replied, not looking very convinced,"Well, we better go and get ready for her highness."

"Yes, let's go." Shadowheart agreed and turned for the door.

Just as they were about to walk out of the door, Nocturne stopped Shadowheart by putting her hand gingerly on Shadowheart's arm. Shadowheart turned to look at her.

"You know, I'm always here for you, Shadowheart, if you ever need to talk about anything." she said and put a heavy emphasis on that last word.

Shadowheart was quiet for a moment, their eyes locked together.

"Thank you, Nocturne." She replied, her voice and expression solemn as she opened the door and walked out ahead of Nocturne, not seeing the worried look she was getting from her.

They walked in silence through the halls of the cloister, footsteps softly echoing from the stone walls.

Nocturne walked Shadowheart back to her Mother Superior's office space. She sat down behind her desk to wait for the visitor to arrive as Nocturne left to greet them, giving Shadowheart one more worried glance. Shadowheart did her best to ignore it and stared at the paperwork before her.

Who knew being the leader of a secret sect of a taboo religious organization would include so much paperwork? Not her.

Shadowheart shuffled a few parchments around on the table, but couldn't focus on any of them. Not on a single line. It was always like this for a day or two after Tav left. The pain, the ache, the loss - it was all still fresh before it would taper slowly down and turn into the familiar numbness. Her wine cellar was always providing comfort if it threatened to overstay its welcome.

They were located in the underground so there were no windows to stare out of, so Shadowheart opted to stare at the magical torches illuminating the room in a soft purple glow. She shivered lightly in her robes, there was continual dampness and chillnes in the rooms and corridors of the place. The magical torches provided no warmth.

I miss the warmth of the sunlight, there was so much of it on the road.

She rubbed her eyes. More unnecessary thoughts plaguing her mind. Her thoughts were mercifully interrupted as she heard a knock on the door.

"Come on in." she called out and Nocturne immediately opened the door.

"Dark Sister Nightbringer, here to see you Mother Superior Shadowheart." Nocturne announced and stepped aside to allow a feminine figure clad in black robes walk past her, followed by a man wearing a simple robe, while a couple of bodyguards stayed in the hallway. Nocturne closed the door behind them.

The Voice of Shar, Shadowheart realized as she took a better look at the man, Why did she bring him with her?

She didn't know much about him other than Shar could speak through him whenever she deemed necessary. She didn't have time to dwell on the matter long as the Nightbringer addressed her.

"Mother Superior... Shadowheart of the Reign of Night cloister" she said, barely hiding the contempt in her voice, "Is that a reference to the glorious bygone church?"

"Indeed it is, Dark Sister Nightbringer." Shadowheart answered and forced her voice to remain calm and gave her a practiced, pleasant smile.

"How presumptuous." Nighbringer said, her voice lacking any emotion, "And I had no idea Baldur's Gate really demanded funds to be used to build another cloister within its walls, didn't you already have a functioning one, Cloister of Somber Embrace, was it?"

"We did and we still have it functional." Shadowheart answered, keeping the fake smile on, "But with the Absolute crisis having taken place in this area, we had an influx of new members, had had for years now and there doesn't seem to be an end to it. It seems hope is slow to return to these lands."

"I see, well, our Lady's work always demands more dark cloaks to be donned, I suppose." Nightbringer said, sounding less than impressed, a wisp of dark hair peeking under her hood, pale gray eyes observing Shadowheart intensely.

"Right. So, Dark Sister, do you want me to call the congregation once you've been shown to your quarters and have had something to eat?"

"Actually, there won't be any lessons until tomorrow." Nightbringer stated.

Shadowheart raised an eyebrow at her.

"The journey was long, me and my companions required rest. First thing in the morning. We shall set everything up tonight."

Isn't the dark Lady's sacred work neverending? Shadowheart thought and bit her cheek to not actually say it out loud. The relationships between different Sharran factions were usually strained and neutral at best and she really didn't need to make more enemies right now.

"I'll look forward to seeing your skills in action, Dark Sister, I've heard tales about them." Shadowheart replied and couldn't help but let her gaze wander to the Voice of Shar, his scarred face or what little could be seen of it under the robes and hood.

The Nighbringer chuckled. It was more unsettling than her quiet contempt had been.

"Oh I'm sure you will never forget it." Nighbringer said smiling and turned to leave. Shadowheart could swear she heard her mutter something under her breath.

She gritted her teeth and watched as the Voice of Shar followed the Nightbringer out of her chambers. Before the door closed she exchanged quick looks with Nocturne and then she was left alone with her thoughts again.

She groaned and opened a drawer to take out a bottle of wine. She poured herself a goblet thinking she might as well, she was now too sad and pissed off to work for the day.

She cursed Nightbringer for strutting into her office, insulting her in her own cloister and then just postponing the start of the whole thing for the next day. She could have had one more night with Tav if she had known. One more night of comfort, of not knowing the pain of loss again.

She took a sip of wine and rubbed her temples. It was going to be a long day.

***

Tav rushed out of the door of Shadowheart's bedchambers. Gone were the days of their games, ruses and sneaking around. The Mother Superior had clearly grown more certain of her position in the cloister, in the whole damn church.

Not so much so though that Tav would be allowed to use the front door - not yet at least. Maybe never, seeing how things were going. Instead she rushed to the underground route as usual.

Here she had been thinking just a little while ago that she and Shadowheart had actually been getting closer, that they would be back to developing something real between them, like it had felt before the events of Shadowfell all those years ago. The way they were having sex had been definitely getting more intimate as time went by, tender even. It seems it all was her delusions and false hopes.

As she finally reached the end of the tunnel and saw that little glimmer of light, she felt both relieved and saddened. How long would she be able to keep this up? It was so fleeting and it hurt all over again each and every time she left.

Tav took a deep breath and another step in the direction of the light, but instead everything went dark.

Chapter Text

Shadowheart had downed two goblets of wine by the time she heard another knock on the door.

"Come on in." She called out and wasn't surprised to find Nocturne stepping into her office.

"Is this a bad time, Mother Superior?" Nocturne asked, looking between the goblet and the opened bottle.

"It's a good time to have a drink, care to join me?" Shadowheart asked, already feeling a bit elated by the wine and the idea of having some company instead of drinking her sorrows away alone.

"I did have some official business with you..." Nocturne started to say, but it was clear in her voice that she was tempted by the offer.

"Well, it's far from our first time sneaking away from our duties." Shadowheart stated and smiled as she fetched another goblet for Nocturne, filling it up with the dark red wine.

"I'll drink to that, Shadowheart." Nocturne agreed. Her smile was wide when she took the goblet and took a sip, "This is a pretty good one."

"Mmm, I should buy more soon, my wine cellar is starting to look a bit empty."

They sipped the wine in silence for a while, both slowly relaxing.

"So Mother Superior, do you have any idea what Nighbringer came all the way here to teach us, that we wouldn't already know?" Nocturne asked.

"No idea, you'd think we already master every known way to torture and interrogate people under the sky." Shadowheart answered with a scoff, the encounter from earlier still fresh in her mind. The mere idea of having to pander to the woman the next day irked her.

"Hmm. I'll miss the start of the lesson in the morning, I trust you'll share the gory details later?" Nocturne asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Naturally." Shadowheart said, the smile coming back to her face.

Nocturne was silent for a moment

"I don't think you ever told me the whole story of what happened in the Shadowfell? When you become a Dark Justiciar."

"What brings this to mind?" Shadowheart asked, turning to look Nocturne in the eyes.

"I know it has something to do with a certain someone."

Shadowheart shifted uncomfortably.

"You know what happened, I completed the challenges in the Gauntlet of Shar, descended into Lady Shar's domain, killed the Nightsong and our Lady bestowed me the title of Dark Justiciar."

"That's the official version. More than once you have alluded that it was some kind of turning point for you, so what really happened?" Nocturne kept pressing her. She was the last one around besides Tav who had the gall to do that anymore, to challenge her in any way. She respected it immensely.

Shadowheart sighed deep and prepared to tell the story, the mere mention of the gauntlet started to make her get lost in the old memories.

***

Everything had been going fine in the Gauntlet of Shar. More than fine, it was great. Shadowheart completed the challenges unscathed and their group was on their way deeper into the gauntlet.

All things considered, she should have felt great, but instead she felt uncertainty she never would have imagined to feel after triumphantly completing the challenges. And it got nothing to do with the fact that she was defying Mother Superior's orders and straying from the mission she was sent on.

It was something else - or someone else. Shadowheart turned to look at Tav and caught her looking at her with worried eyes again. She knew what Tav thought about all this, Tav wished Shadowheart would abandon her quest in the gauntlet.

It wasn't Tav's way to impose her opinion with heated arguments or force her point of view on her. Tav's approach was asking questions and softly challenging Shadowheart's arguments.

And a lot of worried looks.

Shadowheart had to look away as her heart ached. She was stuck between her ambition, duty and the growing feelings she had for their leader.

If she became a Dark Justiciar, would there be room for her feelings for Tav? It already felt like they had grown more distant ever since they first entered the Shadowlands.

Then there were the doubts Tav's probing had strengthened in her. Fragments of her broken memories, images that haunted her and raised questions she didn't have answers for. The feeling only got stronger the deeper into the gauntlet they went. A sense of dread was building inside her with each step.

The prayer at the entrance of Shadowfell, hearing lady Shar's voice, hearing her will - it was extraordinary, it should have been the highlight of her life, but even that wasn't enough to quell the nagging feeling entirely.

Once they entered the Shadowfell and she looked around in the silent, grey desolation of her Lady's domain, she would have lied if she had said it was inviting or compelling. As they started to descend further in, Shadowheart began reciting a prayer to Lady Shar just to keep her focus on the task.

When they reached the bottom, they found the Selûnite, Nightsong, her Lady had ordered her to strike down. They also found the repulsive necromancer Balthazar and his army of undead.

The ensuing fight was dangerous with the amount of enemies in such a confined space. Shadowheart called upon her Lady's power to burn the undead in her divine flames, but there were too many. Karlach did her best to chop them up with her greataxe and Gale kept Balthazar busy and annoyed with his counterspells while Tav fluidly sliced through the enemies with her daggers and quick footwork.

Until she didn't.

Shadowheart wasn't sure how, as her attention had been elsewhere, but one of the bigger undead had managed to grab Tav by her collar, lifting her up as she helplessly squirmed in his grab.

"Tav!" Shadowheart screamed and readied a guiding bolt, but it was already too late. All Shadowheart could do was watch in horror as the creature flung Tav over the edge.

"Soldier, no!"

"By Mystra's grace!"

Karlach's and Gale's panicked yells echoed in the space as they too saw what happened. Meanwhile Shadowheart screamed, actually screamed, pure rage burning her vision as she called upon her mistress' divine power and destroyed the rest of the undead in a bright flash in the midst of the chaos of the battle.

Shadowheart ran to the edge of the ruined platform Nightsong was imprisoned on and looked over. She only saw void beneath, a neverending wind forming a vortex down into darkening gray emptiness.

Meanwhile the last enemy left was Balthazar, now nailed to the ground by Karlach's greataxe, but still alive. He was gritting his teeth, readying himself to speak, but enraged Shadowheart rushed over and before he could utter another word, her spear pierced his throat, silencing him permanently.

"I guess that takes care of that." came Gale's dry comment as he approached them.

"What about Tav?" Karlach said, her voice was filled with worry and sorrow, "Can't you bring her back Shads?"

"I... The battle drained my most potent magic." Shadowheart said and she could neither stop the light quiver in her voice nor the tears dampening the corner of her eyes, "I also don't feel her soul here." admitting the last part drove a cold edge of fear into her being.

"We can only hope Withers will be able to bring her back once we're out of here." Gale stated, his voice somber as he looked at both of them.

"But we're in the Shadowfell! Is that a guarantee?" Karlach's voice went up an octave.

A face of uncertainty was the only thing Gale was able to offer to them.

"You're one of them, shouldn't you know?" Karlach turned to Shadowheart who barely registered her question.

"This can't be happening..." Shadowheart kept mumbling before her attention turned to the Nightsong, who was observing them silently.

Nightsong was held in place by some kind of magic and it seemed she couldn't move far from where she was standing. Shadowheart took a few steps closer to take a better look of her target, the Selûnite Lady Shar wanted her to end with the Spear of Night.

"I have felt you coming Sharran. The first in a century." Nightsong said as she saw Shadowheart approaching, "You, who have come to find the wicked favor of your goddess."

Shadowheart looked at her, her eyebrows furrowing. She knew she had a duty to fulfill here, but all she could think about was Tav. What did anything else matter when she had just lost Tav?

"Pierce her heart, and become my sword hand. My Dark Justiciar." Lady Shar spoke in Shadowheart's mind.

"There is much your mistress does not tell you - my death will come at a terrible price. One that you will not grasp until it's too late" Nightsong said with a strong voice, her hands gesturing as she spoke, "Do you know what I am, little assassin? For I know you - a lost child frightened by wolves in the dark." her voice got louder as she spoke.

"What did you say...?" Shadowheart asked, her mind filled with flashes of familiar, yet fragmented memories, of being pursued by a wolf in a dark forest, alone and scared.

"Much has been promised to you, hasn't it? But what has been taken away from you? What do you know of your own heart - your own life? I sense more in you than you know. Why?"

"Do not listen, Shadowheart." Shar's voice commanded in her head, "She seeks to distract, to confuse, to prolong her ugly existence and deny you your destiny. Shut out her words."

But the memory and Nightsong’s words were filling Shadowheart's mind, resurfacing her old doubts, reinforcing them. Just when she was about to ask if Nightsong was willing to tell her what she knew if she spared her, she heard Lady Shar's voice again.

"Your ally is not lost. This is my domain. End the Nightsong and take your place as my Dark Justiciar. It will grant you the power to bring back your ally."

"Shar speaks now, doesn't she? Dribbles the poison of her oblivion in the shell of your ear? I do not hear her words, but I sense her rage." Nightsong said, looking Shadowheart in the eye, seeing and sensing the conflict and hesitation in her.

"This is your destiny Shadowheart, do not falter now. You're so close to fulfilling it and saving your ally. Use the spear to strike down my enemy."

Shadowheart extended her right hand, the never healing wound flashed purple as she summoned the Spear of Night. She could vaguely hear Karlach's pleading words to not do it in the background.

Shadowheart took a hold of the spear, briefly wondering what Tav would have said to her in this moment if she was here.

She got flashes of memories: Tav's hand on her shoulder freely offering the comfort she could never ask for, Tav's wine tasting lips on hers as they laid on the cliff kissing, Tav's bright smile as they walked side by side along the road.

There never really was any other path was there? No other choice. All the hesitations and doubts amounted to nothing.

Shadowheart gripped the spear tighter in her hands before she charged forth and ended Nightsong's life.

Immediately afterwards Shadowheart received Shar's embrace, her blessings and her instructions. When it was over, she was immediately able to feel Tav's soul and just enough power at her fingertips to cast the needed spell.

With Nightsong's blood still drying on her face, and with shaking hands, she concentrated on casting, almost whispering the words. The radiant divine light was blinding and when Shadowheart opened her eyes again, Tav was there, alive and well before her, looking around pale, bruised and confused.

"Tav..." Shadowheart uttered, her voice almost breaking. She hugged Tav tightly.

"Ow, hey watch the spiky parts." Tav chuckled but hugged her back.

"So what did I miss?" Tav asked after they finally pulled apart.

Shadowheart's face hardened, worried looking Karlach and somber looking Gale exchanged looks.

"I have become my Lady’s swordhand, her Dark Justiciar." Shadowheart said, no emotion on her face.

Tav looked at the blood on Shadowheart's face, the different armor she was wearing and the dead body of Nightsong in the background. Her look was one of utter confusion.

Shadowheart remained silent, the moment of joy turning bittersweet. She could never truly love Tav now. From now on, her heart belonged fully to the Nightsinger.

***

Shadowheart had been staring at the wall for some time now, lost in the memories from all those years ago. She got pulled back to the moment by Nocturne clearing her throat.

"Right, where was I... after I killed the Nightsong, like our Lady required of me, I became her Dark Justiciar, and just like our Lady had promised, I was able to bring Tav back." she concluded her long story.

"So you're saying you did it all for Tav?" Nocturne asked, her voice was not accusatory, it was rather empathetic, but the words made Shadowheart recoil in her seat nonetheless.

"Don't be ridiculous." Shadowheart scoffed, "I did it out of duty, it was my destiny, my whole life had been leading to that moment."  

Nocturne looked at her, not saying anything in response.

"Getting the opportunity to bring our leader back, well, that was just a nice added bonus our Lady graced me with." Shadowheart continued with a practiced smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"But what about all these years since? How you still keep seeing her, surely you lo-" Nocturne started to say, gesturing with her hands.

"Just pleasures of the flesh, there's nothing more to it." Shadowheart interrupted, "Just a little game helping me to hone my skills for our Lady." a little smirk on her lips as many memories of their encounters surfaced.

"Right, of course Mother Superior." Nocturne relented and sat back in her chair.

"Enough of the ghosts of the past. Let's talk about something else." Shadowheart suggested, feeling grateful Nocturne stopped pushing the matter even though she could tell from her look and tone of voice she didn’t quite believe Shadowheart.

***

Shadowheart opens her eyes, a gray desolation stretches out into every direction. Colorless shapes and shadows, ever twisting and moving, great emptiness stretching into eternity.

She's standing there in front of the familiar mirror. Her whole attention is drawn to it.

Shadowheart looks into the mirror's non reflective surface and sees the goddess Shar appearing behind her. Shar's cold arms wrap around Shadowheart, taking her into her embrace. It's painfully tight and Shar looms above her, enormous and intimidating.

"You have disappointed me, my child." Shar's voice doesn't carry in the emptiness, instead Shadowheart hears it inside her head.

Her words twist Shadowheart's chest with anxiety.

"What do you mean, Nightsinger? I have given my everything to you."

"Silence." the voice commands, "Do not lie to me, you can not hide it from me and you haven't hidden it from your congregation either. You're letting her distract you from your important work. My work. Not very becoming of someone of your stature, of my Chosen."

Shadowheart hangs her head in shame, anxiety gripping her chest. Shar's words are stinging.

"Perhaps I could have turned a blind eye longer, if you had shown more cunning and kept it in the darkness, but you've allowed it to happen in the light of the day. Seems you can not control yourself anymore which can only mean one thing."

Shadowheart looks up at her.

"You haven't saved your heart for me. You're in love with her."

"Not true, Nightsinger."

"Didn't I tell you not to lie? Love is like a disease, it is like arson - a destructive flame. It might offer you fleeting light and comfort as you feed it. If you don't extinguish the fires of love, you will burn. And in the end, you're left with nothing but cold ashes and a hungry heart."

"I will end it, I won't see her again, I-"

"You insult my cold, infinite darkness by indulging in it. Now go and extinguish it."

Shadowheart's dreams turned into endless darkness and when she finally woke up that morning, it felt like a heavy cloak was lifted from her. She had no recollection falling asleep at her desk, the last thing she remembered from the night before, was saying goodnight to Nocturne before she left.

It had been a dreamless sleep. Except for Shar. She wasn't sure that was a dream at all, it had felt real. Shadowheart didn't feel rested at all. A cold sweat and a feeling of dread hung over her.

There was a small shrine dedicated to Shar in her office. Shadowheart knelt before it and murmured a prayer, trying to feel the familiar connection to her Lady, but she felt distant.

It must have been real.

Yesterday her biggest worry had been not having one more day to spend with Tav. Now she was left with the order to extinguish her "love" for Tav once and for all.

Love - such a small and insignificant word.

"You know what to do."

Did she? She didn't remember the last time she had felt so lost since becoming Mother Superior.

Everything is surrendered to her in the end. Some things she claims earlier than others.

Of course she knew the tales of the things that the Nightsinger might demand from the faithful - as was her right.

All Sharrans knew the tales, they were whispered and exchanged in hushed voices. More reasons why you shouldn't get attached to anyone when you walk the path of darkness.

Somehow Shadowheart had thought that being Shar's chosen and the Mother Superior of her sect would grant her some leniency. That she would at least be allowed to keep this one little thing. It didn't mean anything, it was just carnal relief after all.

But of course she knew the day might come when Lady Shar would deem that even this little comfort had gone too far. She should have been more careful, shown more cunning. Her heart ached at the thought of ending her tryst withTav. She felt something damp in the corner of her eyes - a silent proof of her betrayal to her Dark Lady.

Shadowheart looked at her right hand, expecting it to flare up in response to her thoughts, but it remained silent, like it had ever since she had become the chosen of Shar.

It was like a phantom pain ingrained into her mind. She could imagine the pain, almost feel it, like an echo from the past.

There was nothing she could do about the dream right then even if she wanted to. Tav was long gone by now, she would have to send a word after her, arrange a meeting. Or just a note that they could never meet again. She swiped the corner of her eyes and put a small smile on her face, befitting someone of her stature.

She remained kneeling for a moment longer, contemplating, before sighing and getting up. Her feelings on the matter meant nothing, she had a duty to fulfill. Nightbringer was set to hold the lesson this morning and she had to attend as the Mother Superior of the place.

All Shadowheart wanted to do was to pour another glass of wine and drown her sorrows in it. Instead she did her morning routine feeling numb.

For the lesson she donned her Dark Justiciar armor and white Sharran mask like she always did when she had to attend official business down in the dungeons.

The walk into the dungeons felt long. The clinking sound her metallic boots made, as they connected with the stone floor, echoed in the hallways as she walked with unhurried steps. Beside her footsteps, it was pretty silent and dark in the dungeons save for the occasional muffled cry of pain or scream for mercy coming from one of the rooms and cells.

Finally Shadowheart arrived at the room she had assigned for Nigthbringer's use. There were two guards she had assigned by the doors.

"Is everything set?" Shadowheart asked them.

"Seems so, Mother Superior." one of them answered from behind a metallic helmet covering his whole face.

Shadowheart nodded, opened the door and entered the room. A wall of people was standing before her, their backs turned towards her, all clad in black robes.

When the door closed after her in a loud thud, they all turned to look at her, a sea of white masks staring in her direction. She recognized many of the people standing there even with their masks on: Her closest subordinates in the cloister were all present except for Nocturne who would join them later.

The sea of white masks parted to reveal Nightbringer and Voice of Shar standing there at the other end of the room and behind them, Tav.

Tav strung up on a rack.

Tav bloodied and bruised.

Tav.

Her Tav.

"What is the meaning of this?" was the only thing she got out of her mouth as her shocked mind tried to process what she was seeing. It was angry, sharp.

"Ah, Mother Superior. Good on you to join us, you're our special guest after all." Nighbringer said.

"My esteemed guest, I asked what is the meaning of this?" Shadowheart said from between gritted teeth, trying to keep her voice even, but almost failing when her eyes landed on tortured Tav.

"Why Mother Superior, it is the reason me and my colleagues are here today. To give your sect a demonstration and a lesson." Nightbringer stated and while Shadowheart couldn't see her face from behind the mask, she could imagine the sneer on her face.

"And you're going to help us, Mother Superior, but first, our Dark Lady has decided to honor us with her presence."

A whisper of prayers could be heard all around her as the people gathered there paid their respects to Lady Shar.

Nightbringer turned to Voice of Shar, whose eyes had rolled back in his head and then his whole head was thrown back.

Shadowheart's mind worked through fast what she had heard about the mute man. She knew he wasn't a Sharran originally, most probably just some unfortunate prisoner who had ended up in a Sharran dungeon, but that mattered little anymore. It was known that Nightbringer had used him as a test subject for known and experimental torture methods. Nighbringer was an esteemed teacher amongst the Sharran church and her work needed unwilling flesh after all.

Eventually it had ended with Nightbringer practically having carved out his mind. Now he only served as an empty vessel through which Shar herself could communicate directly if she ever deemed something to be important enough.

The man started to speak but it wasn't his voice. Shadowheart immediately recognized it as Lady Shar. She had had the honor of hearing the Dark Lady's voice on numerous occasions, back in Shadowfell when she became her Dark Justiciar and then back in the Cloister of Somber Embrace when she had become her Chosen. Every time she thought of the events of the latter, she got an uneasy feeling, like something itching at the edge of her mind she couldn't quite grasp, but there was no time to dwell on that at the moment either.

Shadowheart had also heard her voice more recently, last night in her dream.

"My most loyal followers, your own Mother Superior will teach you a lesson today. A lesson about loss." the voice echoed in the dungeon, every head turned in the direction of Voice of Shar, and then to Shadowheart when she was mentioned, and then back to him.

"She will personally showcase how to embrace loss. By sacrificing someone, who has been important to her for a long time, in my name."

There it was. All the color drained from Shadowheart's face, there was no doubt left what this was all about.

Voice of Shar went silent and it was absolutely quiet in the room. Shadowheart could feel their eyes on her.

The Nightbringer unsheathed a ritualistic dagger from her waist and offered it to Shadowheart. Shadowheart stared at it for a moment before she took hold of the handle and then let the dagger and her hand fall to her side.

Shadowheart could see that Nighbringer was smiling under the mask as she turned away from her and walked over to the side table. There were all kinds of crude, sharp looking equipment laid out on display. Shadowheart recognized most of them, but not the one she saw Nightbringer picking up. The instrument reminded her of a branding iron.

"Before Mother Superior goes and does the sacrifice, I'm going to demonstrate this new tool I have developed under our Lady's guidance." Nighbringer said as she picked up the instrument.

Nightbringer walked back to Tav and ripped her shirt open more, exposing some skin. Shadowheart had to fight against the instinct to stop the woman or say something, her fingers gripping the hilt of the dagger tightly.

Seemingly pleased at her work, Nightbringer whispered a few words, making the tool light up in a soft purple glow in her hands.

"What exactly is that for?" Shadowheart asked her, surprised her voice sounded so even and calm, the exact opposite of how she was feeling.

"Excellent question, Mother Superior." Nighbringer replied, sounding proud of herself, "This here is what the heretics would call taboo magic."

The quiet room was now filled with soft murmurs.

"It is designed to brand a heretic. One who hasn't pledged an allegiance to any god during their life." Nightbringer started to explain, her eyes shone behind the mask, her words getting heated, "Rest will be revealed once you have done the sacrifice for our Lady, Mother Superior." she concluded, earning more murmurs all around.

Nightbringer's words caused uneasiness in Shadowheart, raising more questions in her mind, of the things Lady Shar kept obscured even from her - her Chosen. What kind of things the other Sharran sects did that she had no idea about?

There was no time to process it further as Nightbringer turned around and pressed the iron in the middle of Tav's chest.

Tav came to consciousness letting out a horrifying scream. It was already dark in the room, but somehow it got darker when the instrument connected with Tav's skin. It was like the little remaining light first flickered and then was sucked out momentarily, leaving them in total darkness. There was an uneasy feeling in Shadowheart's chest, like she was taking part in something no living soul should.

Tav's screams chilled her to the bones and froze her to place. Shadowheart’s armor allowed her to see even in darkness such as this, so she had to watch Tav's face contort in agony she didn't know was even possible for anyone to experience. Her every instinct screamed at her to move and act, but her body didn't respond.

Then it stopped as suddenly as it started and Tav lost consciousness again. The little light the purple candles offered, returned to the room.

Nightbringer removed the instrument from Tav and admired the result of her work for a moment before she walked back to the table and put the instrument aside.

Shadowheart looked at Tav's chest, there was now a black symbol of Shar in the middle of it, the red, raw looking edges bleeding all around the ring.

All of it, it was too much to take in. Shadowheart felt her body obeying her again, but her mind was numb. It felt like she really wasn't in the room, like it wasn't really happening. Just another nightmare she was stuck in.

"Now, the stage is all yours, Mother Superior." Nightbringer whispered to her and pointed subtly at the dagger in her hand. Her eyes looked alive, excited and a bit amused, probably at the distraught displayed in Shadowheart's.

Nighbringer then fell silent, waiting for Shadowheart to do their Dark Lady's bidding. All eyes were on Shadowheart as she approached Tav, eyes wide behind her mask. Her steps were slow, like her feet were reluctant to move, her breathing uneven and shallow.

"There can be no reward without loss. No salvation without sacrifice."

Her fellow Sharrans started to repeat different lines of Shar's teachings all around her as she took steps closer to Tav.

"The gift of loss will soothe all woes, but only for those who deserve it."

Shadowheart raised her hand and Tav opened her eyes, or one of them as the other one was swollen shut, to look at her in confusion.

"We have emptied our hearts of falsehoods."

Shadowheart's knuckles were white from squeezing the handle of the dagger so hard.

"Lady Shar watches our every step."

Shadowheart's eyes met Tav's.

"There is no fear but the fear of failing the Nightsinger."

"Shadowheart...?" Tav asked with a hoarse and weak voice, a look of recognition on her face despite the mask.

"Embrace loss."

Embrace loss...

Chapter Text

"Jenevelle? Jen? Is that you? Why, you look so tall..." asks the frail looking human woman, just while ago revealed to be Shadowheart's mother she had thought to have died when she was young.

"It's not her, Emm. It's just another trick. Another way to hurt us." says the elven man hanging next to her, Shadowheart's father.

"It's me. I'm Jenevelle." Shadowheart says to them, taking a step forward.

"Jenevelle is no more. She never left those dark woods - it was Shadowheart who emerged. This woman gave birth to you, but I made you. I am your Mother." Shar interjects, looming over all of them, enormous and menacing.

Shadowheart looks up at Shar, eyes wide and brimming with sadness.

"Sacrifice is not a sacrifice if it has no meaning. This is the final step - snuff out the last embers of your old life, so that you can finally be who you were meant to be." Shar continues explaining to them and the more she speaks, the more lost Shadowheart looks.

Tav didn't want Shadowheart to return to the cloister in the first place, but she never could have imagined things would get this bad.

"Kill them for me. Then I will take the memories away from you again. Loss will heal you, and you will be my right hand, at last." Shar delivers her offer in the same flat tone she has been speaking the whole time.

Shadowheart turns to look at Tav, more confused and torn than Tav has ever seen her. Shadowheart's whole life and what she thought was true was crumbling before her eyes.

"No. She can't do this." Tav interrupts, springing into action, spurred on by how devastated and lost Shadowheart looks.

"She can. She must. Do you remember your training, child? You know what to do. All the times you stood in this room, wondering why the pair seemed so familiar. All the times you honed your skills on them. They remember everything. The pain. The pleading. Their torturer, wearing their daughter's face. End their nightmare. Give them peace." The wicked goddess keeps speaking, spewing her poison, every word intended to manipulate Shadowheart further.

Tav clenches her fists in anger, feeling helpless in the moment, the enormity of it hanging thick in the air.

Shadowheart's eyes widen in shock even more as Shar keeps talking, she turns her gaze from Shar to her parents and then back at Tav. Shadowheart had walked into the room head held high, ready to claim her prize for a lifetime of loyalty and service, having just convinced most of the Sharrans to her side and having dispatched Viconia. Now her shoulders slumped and she was taking heavy breaths, seemingly on the verge of a panic attack.

"Don't do it." Tav implores her, on the verge of tears as she says the words.

"I have to do it. My whole life has been leading to this." Shadowheart replies, her expression changing from confused to exasperated.

"Your whole life has been a lie. You don't have to do this." Tav tries to persuade her, but she can see on Shadowheart's face she's not getting through to her.

"Whatever happens, we love you all the same." Her father says.

"We never stopped. Thank you, Moonmaiden. You let me see my Jenevelle, my baby girl, one last time." Shadowheart's mother says, they both seem resigned to their fates long ago.

"Don't call me that. My name is Shadowheart."  When Shadowheart says the last part, irritation is replacing the confusion and it brings back determination into her voice as she clenches her fists.

"You are just lost, Jenevelle. Selûne will show you the way home, in time -" Her father continues, his faith in the Moonmaiden not wavering even in this moment, but his words just further agitate Shadowheart, who looks down and then up again, anger in her eyes.

"My name is Shadowheart." Shadowheart says, putting an emphasis on each word, her voice rising and Shar's power glowing in her eyes, summoned forth by her anger.

A bright flash of light follows, blinding and obscuring everything.

"Shadowheart!" Tav wants to yell, but nothing comes out of her mouth, her vocal cords paralyzed.

"Shadowheart!" Tav gasped as she came back to consciousness. She blinked a few times, chasing away the remains of her nightmare spun from her memories.

Tav took a few deep breaths and took in the unfamiliar surroundings. Her gaze landed on a woman clad in dark robes and a hood, she could see pale skin, a pair of grey eyes and a wisp of black hair.

"Ah, you finally came back to." the woman said to Tav.

Tav's head felt muddled, her limbs heavy and she realized she had been strung up on a torture rack that was set up vertically. She had been shackled on the rack by her wrists and felt a burning pain in her arms as her weight rested on them.

"Who are you? What have you done to me?" Tav demanded, her voice was hoarse, her throat felt itchy and her mouth dry.

"I'm a close acquaintance of Mother Superior." the woman said, walking closer to her, a subtle smile on her lips.

Tav then realized she must be in one of the Sharran cells in the cloister's dungeon. It did look familiar, that stonework and the color of the torchlight.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Tav asked her, rattling the shackles, testing how secure they felt.

"So many questions." the woman said and looked amused as Tav writhed on the rack, like she knew in certainty that the shackles would hold and Tav was going absolutely nowhere.

"Where is Shadowheart?"

"She's the one who wanted this done to you and you still cry after her. How pathetic" the woman said, her amusement turning into scorn.

Her words made Tav seize her struggling, a shiver of cold ran through her but it was gone as fast as it came. There was no way Shadowheart had done this to her. She had Tav wrapped around her finger, she wouldn't have had to go through this scheme of kidnapping her to get her here.

"I don't believe you." Tav scoffed and started to struggle again.

"Seems she has gotten bored of her plaything, so she gave you to me to... play with in turn." as the woman said it, the grin was back, much more pronounced than before.

"No." Tav said, not believing this strange woman for a moment. Not after all these years. A lot had changed in Shadowheart after she became Shar's Chosen, but this was a limit Tav didn't want to believe she would ever cross, to give her over to be tortured by some sadistic Sharran. No. This was something else.

"Why are you doing this?" Tav asked again, her voice even and calm.

The woman's grin stayed on as she eyed Tav up and down.

"I guess it would have been boring if you were so easily fooled." she chuckled and walked even closer, stopping before Tav and crossing her arms, "Mother Superior has strayed. I'm here to remind her that hope is for the fools and you will be my instrument in it."

Tav blinked in confusion. So was it one of Shar's games behind Shadowheart's back then, she wondered.

"I don't understand."

"Frankly you don't need to. In the meanwhile, no one said I couldn't have a little fun with you while we wait for the main event. Your delicious pain, despair... all of it will just further empower Shar." Nightbringer stated and walked over to a side table on which there were laid out different kinds of instruments. Tav didn't know the purpose of most of them.

Nighbringer chose some of the tools and the room was soon filled with Tav's screams until she lost consciousness again.

Next time Tav uttered "Shadowheart", she really was there. Tav would recognize those green eyes anywhere even with the creepy Sharran mask on. Shadowheart looked as lost as she had all those years ago when she completed Shar's final task for her and killed her parents.

While the woman who had tortured Tav might have been coy about it, the droning of the Sharrans behind Shadowheart and the sacrificial dagger in Shadowheart's hand quickly made Tav understand what was really going on.

Shar had finally had enough of her and Shadowheart's dalliance and was making Shadowheart get rid of her as some sort of proof that loss was the only inevitable thing in life.

Tav had always feared the day would arrive when Shar did this. Maybe not as dramatically as it was unfolding now, but she knew there was danger involved in loving a Sharran. But she had been unable to let go of Shadowheart, Tav's feelings for her had never died. And she had, perhaps foolishly, kept hoping things could change one day.

Tav felt weak, the woman had done a number on her during the night and whatever vile magic she had used on her just moments ago, had left her drained. Now she might die loving Shadowheart, but she at least wanted Shadowheart to know she had always loved her.

Shadowheart kept staring at Tav and she couldn't help the slight tremble in the hand that held the dagger.

"You need to know..." Tav said, her voice weak as she looked like she was teetering on the edge of losing consciousness again, "I've always loved you. I've never stopped." she breathed out and the look in her eyes, it was as if she had always feared deep inside, this was how it was going to end between them. Anticipated it.

If that was true, why did she always return to me?

"I know." Shadowheart said and tried to blacken her heart, but she had always been bad at it despite the name she chose for herself.

Love is a lie. Only hate endures.

One of the core tenements of her Lady, but did she truly believe it?

"Mother Superior, I implore you, stop keeping us in suspense. There is still a lot for us to do after your demonstration." Nightbringer said quietly behind Shadowheart.

Shadowheart narrowed her eyes, but didn't say anything in turn.

The dagger in her hand bore the dark moon of Shar in the middle of it, the void. Looking at it, Shadowheart got flashes of the different vile things she had done in her life with a dagger like this. She felt repulsion at the memories. The repulsion she had thought to be long gone by now.

But wasn't that what she was always meant to be? Wasn't it her destiny? Her life's purpose?

She got another lost memory from when she was young, a small girl really, she didn't know the exact age. It was a warm, sunny day and she had just seen a frog hopping in the tall grass. She was running after it, giggling in delight, wanting to see it again. Then she tripped and fell down, scraping her knee on a sharp stone when she hit the ground.

It stung and she started to cry. Immediately there was a shadow hovering over her.

"Oh, did you hurt yourself? Let mom take a look, hunny... I think it's just a scratch, you're okay, dear."

She was pulled up gently into the woman's embrace. Nothing like the cold, suffocating embrace of Shar. It was soft and tender. She looked up at the woman, trying to see her face, but it was left in a deep shadow.

A whole forgotten childhood outside the cloister.

What was there before those dark woods? The old question came back to haunt her.

She could remember a feeling of being loved and feeling safe. When was the last time she had felt safe? Truly safe? Power didn't bring safety, it just brought new and ever evolving threats.

The memory of the woman lingerered on her mind and she got another flashback. She was in the Cloister of Somber Embrace, doing the last task her Lady demanded of her.

The two strangers looked at her with love and sorrow. Shadowheart realized, or more like felt, that the woman was the one and the same, who embraced her in the memory.

"You are just lost, Jenevelle. Selûne will show you the way home, in time -"

Shar's power cursed through Shadowheart as it claimed their lives, they screamed in pain, becoming Shadowheart's strength.

Feeling devastated and heartbroken, Shadowheart dropped to her knees. Until she was blessed with Shar's oblivion and she rose as her champion.

Tav's sad eyes looked at her after she had become Shar's chosen and she exclaimed: "You killed your parents for this!"

"Don't be ridiculous - I never knew my parents. Whoever these poor wretches were, they're strangers to me."

Shadowheart blinked.

There it was, the unexplained itch in the back of her mind.

Something she wasn't suppose to remember, but there it was nonetheless. And she felt this wasn't the only time she had. It was the truth she had never wanted to take a closer look at, or everything would unravel, like she was now unraveling in front of her congregation.

The pair being some random poor wretches was a lie she had been telling herself. Of course they had been her parents. It all tracked with what Shar demanded often from her followers: Kill those closest to you, those you love, burn away the embers of your past life.

If the sacrifice didn't mean anything, it wouldn't have been demanded of her in the first place.

Worse still, every time she had remembered, every time someone who used to be close to her tried to tell her, she had gone in front of the Mirror of Loss and begged Lady Shar to take it all away again, unable to bear the pain.

She still held Tav's gaze, their eyes locked into each other. Tav saw her pain and she saw Tav's pain. She thought of the morning after the battle against the absolute. Their painful parting.

"Do you ever think things could have turned out differently?" Tav had asked her.

Of course she had, numerous times. Tracking all the way back to Nightsong. What if Tav hadn't died there and she had spared Nightsong and had heard her out?

It felt so distant now, but reminiscing about it the night before with Nocturne, had brought back all the old doubts she had felt in her Lady's sacred gauntlet.

She wallowed in all the things she shouldn't have. She clung to things she shouldn't have.

All she was, belonged to Lady Shar.

But Tav had never wanted this life, she had always refused any attempts to introduce her to it and Shadowheart had respected that, promising her that the sharp edge of Lady Shar's spreading gospel would always leave Tav untouched. Was she really unable to keep the simplest promises?

It would never end. Nothing would ever be enough. The next loss demanded from her would be Nocturne, Shadowheart was sure of that.

Shadowheart would be carved hollow inside out until there was nothing left, just like Voice of Shar. Until she was left with mountains of regret and the desperate need to forget all of it again. Until she was just an empty vessel for Shar's will to be done in the world.

Shadowheart reached to brush against Tav's cheek gently, a single tear ran down Tav's skin. The warmth of Tav's skin against her fingertips felt grounding, solidifying the moment for her. Many of their intimate moments flashed before her eyes.

Shadowheart was many things, had been made and molded to be many things. If she were to do this, to kill her lover, the cycle would be complete and nothing would be left of the real her.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were glowing purple with the divine power and in an instant she was gone.

A moment of pregnant silence filled the room.

Nightbringer was about to open her mouth, but wasn't fast enough as Shadowheart materialized from the shadows behind her, and with one smooth flick of her wrist, slit her throat with the same dagger Nightbringer herself had offered to Shadowheart just moments earlier.

An arc of crimson blood spilled from the wound and painted the dark floor.

Nightbringer fell face first to the floor with a loud thud and Shadowheart finished the job by sticking the dagger into her back.

A few audible gasps filled the room, then silence as Shadowheart stood up and turned to look at them. She knew they weren't loyal to her. They were loyal to Lady Shar. And one, if not all of them, had already betrayed her, as it wasn't Nightbringer who had captured Tav. No. Tav had already left the cloister by the time Nightbringer arrived.

"Seize her." Voice of Shar said.

The masked Sharrans reached for their weapons. It was silent again except for the sound of different weapons being drawn.

Shadowheart took off her mask and let it fall to the floor, it was abandoned in the pool of Nightbringer's blood, the white surface now stained red. She extended her hand, the mark in her hand glowing, forming a purple circle around her incurable wound as she summoned forth the Spear of Night.

She calculated her odds. They had the numbers, but she had trained half of them. The other half had sparred with her when she was still a novice herself. But none of them were true Dark Justiciars like she was.

Shadowheart liked the odds. She gripped her spear with both hands and began the dance.

Tav watched in awe as Shadowheart took the room of Sharrans head on. The first one coming at her had a pair of daggers. He didn't stand a chance against the reach of Shadowheart's spear as it found a weak spot in his light armor. Tav watched him slump on the ground, a pool of blood forming around him.

Shadowheart whispered an incantation and one of the Sharran's closest to her froze and then turned away from her and attacked his comrades, giving Shadowheart more space to work. She took her spear and flung it through air, nailing a Sharran to the wall, blood spilling from her mouth. The incurable wound on Shadowheart's hand glowed again and the spear was back in her grip and she charged towards the next enemy.

Every strike that got through and hit her, she dealt back to the Sharrans tenfold. Every wound she got, was healed in a flash of divine magical energy, her eyes glowing brilliantly golden momentarily.

As Tav watched the battle unfold before her eyes, it sank in that Shadowheart was... refusing Shar's orders? She was saving her? She was choosing her? After all this time?

For a moment there she had thought this was literally it for them. For her. There was a small part of her who had feared she had lost the real Shadowheart all the way back in Shadowfell.

Loving Shadowheart was dangerous, pursuing it in any way even more dangerous. Tav had always known that, but she had accepted the risk. She had never been able to let go of her. Even when the woman Tav had fallen for had started to become someone who she hardly recognized, Tav had told herself there was still light in Shadowheart, however deep it was buried. She had just been proven right.

Tav looked on and realized Shadowheart first killed the ones who wore the Dark Justiciar vestiges on them. The remaining ones surrounded Shadowheart, but Tav could tell from how they moved that they were nervous to face the Mother Superior.

Suddenly it became dark in the room, every light source snuffed out. It wasn't a normal darkness, but the kind of darkness Tav had grown accustomed to ever since Shadowheart had become a Dark Justiciar and had started to use it in battles. Tav knew Shadowheart could see in it.

The room was filled with screams of terror and pain, metal hitting against metal, something softer getting pierced again and again and multiple gasps and whimpers as last breaths were drawn until it was all quiet again.

The darkness dissipated, the candles flickered back on and Tav saw the carnage. A circle of dead Sharrans laid all around Shadowheart, blood covering not just the floor but her clothes as well. Shadowheart stood there without her weapon, which was still stuck on one of the corpses nearby.

There was a harsh look on Shadowheart's face and Tav could see she was taking deep breaths. All Tav could think about looking at the carnage was better them, than her or Shadowheart. She had a hard time sympathizing with her torturers.

Then Shadowheart turned to look at Tav and her expression softened. It almost seemed like relief. Tav couldn't stop the tears as she mouthed 'Shadowheart'. She was feeling so weak, but the sliver of hope kept her conscious.

Shadowheart took a few steps toward Tav, but stopped as Voice of Shar addressed her in Shar's voice.

"It's still not too late, you might still redeem yourself in my eyes, Shadowheart." the voice said, "Stop this madness, kill her and beg for my forgiveness."

Shadowheart scoffed and was about to walk away again, but then she stopped, burning questions swirling around her mind.

"Why?" she started to say, turning around to face the Voice of Shar, who still remained in that same position, head bent back, eyes rolled into his skull, "Why did you allow me to save her back in Shadowfell if it was just going to lead to this one day?"

"Isn't the answer obvious, my Chosen? I needed you to fulfill your destiny in that moment and it was the perfect way to motivate you." Shar's voice said, sounding indifferent, "Later on, it was the perfect way to teach you about loss, a constant reminder how life is only suffering, hope is an illusion, and how only my perfect, endless darkness can offer relief. However, seeing how you still cling to her light, harbor love in your heart, it has become apparent you need this final permanent lesson on loss."

Shadowheart stared at Voice of Shar silent, unmoving, feeling numb again.

"Now, do as I say and I can take away the painful memory from this too." the voice keeps talking, "And you can keep your position as my Chosen, as the Mother Superior and all the power that comes with it."

"What about us - do you still remember all we've been through?" Shadowheart remembered Tav asking her after she took over House of grief.

"Of course. From the first time I laid eyes on you, right until now. That's all safe - I wouldn't surrender even a moment of it." She remembered herself answering. That still held true.

"I don't want your power. I just want to live." Shadowheart said to her goddess. What she didn't add out loud was "with her".

Shadowheart could hardly believe she was actually defying Shar, saying these things. She had been loyal all her life, a lifetime of service. It made her head spin, but every time she glanced at Tav, she knew she wanted her safe and unharmed in her arms.

"You insolent fool. You will feel my wrath and the wrath of my faithful. Just remember you brought this on yourself, Shadowheart."

Voice of Shar's eyes lit up in a purple glow and the wound in Shadowheart's hand glowed up in response to Shar's power.

It was odd to feel the pain again after such a long time, but it was back with vengeance. She thought she knew the limits of the pain the incurable wound could inflict, but she had no idea. It felt like she was suffering the agony of a thousand people, all at once. Her blood was boiling, her hair was on fire. She thought she would claw her own face off with the pain.

"You have wielded my spear, carried my voice. No more. You are not my Chosen anymore." Shar said, "Instead, you are nothing. And I will leave you with nothing.

Shadowheart's incurable wound flared intensely and obscured everything from view. When Tav heard Shadowheart's screams of pain, she fought against her bonds with new vigor.

"Let her go, you monster!" Tav screamed at Voice of Shar.

The light died down and Shadowheart came back to view. She was writhing on the floor in pain, looking disheveled and there was a thin streak of white hair on her left side bang.

"All of my children will know you for what you are. You are marked."

Tav pulled helplessly against her bindings, having to watch Shar torture Shadowheart was driving her feral. It hurt so much but Tav pulled and pulled, crying and screaming. She might have done some further damage to herself, but she didn't care, Shadowheart was the only thing on her mind.

The door to the room opened and Nocturne walked in, then stopped in her tracks, her gaze landing on the carnage, then on Tav, her eyes widening as her mind tried to understand what she was seeing before she turned to look at Shadowheart. Nocturne's jaw slackened, as she saw Shadowheart writhing on the floor, grunting in pain as Voice of Shar, brimming with Shar's energy, kept torturing her.

"Help her, Nocturne!" Tav now yelled at her, her voice laced with desperation, pain and fatigue.

Nocturne glanced at Tav and then turned back to look at Shadowheart. She withdrew her hand crossbow, took aim with a surprisingly steady hand and shot Voice of Shar clean through his eye.

Voice of Shar slumped on the ground sideways. His remaining good eye was staring at Shadowheart and Shar kept speaking through his dying body: "Go on then, the dark will be waiting. But keep some memories as a parting gift. Now you can remember what you did to your parents, before you killed them in my name."

The pain just didn't seem to end and just when Shadowheart thought it couldn't get worse, all the memories Shar had taken from her came flooding back. Memories of Shadowheart honing her torturing and interrogation skills on her helpless parents. Over and over again.

"When the darkness finally comes for you again, it will not be my welcoming embrace - it will be a hungry maw, then nothi-"

The sentence was cut short as Nocturne's boot smashed Voice of Shar's head in.

"Nocturne?" Shadowheart breathed out as the pain gradually eased up. Then she remembered Tav and immediately scrambled to her feet, ignoring the pain and the barrage of memories Shar unleashed to torment her.

"Shadowheart, what happened here? These Sharrans..." Nocturne trailed off, looking at the corpses strewn around, recognizing all of them as the ones who were supposed to attend the lesson that day.

"Shar demanded me to teach the congregation here how to embrace loss. As you can see I refused." Shadowheart said through gritted teeth.

"That is what Nightbringer's lesson was about?" Nocturne asked in disbelief.

"Yes." Shadowheart replied dryly, the feeling of disgust clear on her face as she looked at Nightbringer's dead form on the floor, the dagger still embedded in her back.

"Shadowheart..." Tav said weakly, barely able to keep her head up, almost on the cusp of losing consciousness again.

Shadowheart cupped Tav's cheek.

"I'm here, Tav. I'm going to get you out of this thing." She said to Tav and then started undoing the mechanism keeping Tav bound on the rack.

As the shackles came undone, Tav stumbled into Shadowheart, unable to support her weight because of the injuries she had sustained earlier.

"I got you." She said and scooped Tav into her arms, "I'm so sorry, Tav." she murmured, looking over the numerous cuts and bruises she could see on Tav, her blood on the brink of boiling in anger at the sight.

"I was so sure that was it for me..." Tav said and chuckled weakly, "But then you did that..." she choked up, a batch of fresh tears wetting her face.

"Hush now, Tav. Take it easy. I'm going to take you somewhere safe." Shadowheart said. Tav managed to smile at her and then closed her eyes and passed out in her arms.

Nocturne walked over and looked at Tav.

"That bastard did a number on her. Can't you heal her?" Nocturne asked, furrowing her eyebrows in worry.

"No... I... Shar doesn't empower me anymore, I can't cast magic." Shadowheart admitted, having lost the connection to her powers the second Shar had started to torture her.

"Nothing at all?"

"No. I still have the enchantments in my armor and my spear might still be magical, but I can't summon that anymore either."

"I... I can't feel her either." Nocturne said, her voice trembling slightly.

They shared a worried look, knowing there was still a cloister full of Sharrans close by and another one in the city, ready to descend upon them, not to mention the numerous plain clothed agents hiding in the city.

"I have to get her out of here." Shadowheart said, determination filling her mind and pushing the chaotic thoughts and feelings aside as she concentrated on the goal of keeping Tav safe.

"Everyone who wasn't here, was at the sermon I led. One of the priests started a contemplation session after I left. They're still there, we might be able to slip by unnoticed." Nocturne said and went to fetch Shadowheart's spear, still embedded in one of the Sharrans.

"We have to move fast. They'll learn what happened as soon as they talk to one of these corpses or even bring them back. And Shar won't soon forget this..."

Nocturne nodded, there was a look of soberness on her face as she started to lead them out of the room and then out of the dungeon. Shadowheart followed suit, carrying Tav in her arms

Shadowheart set unconscious Tav on the bed after they arrived in her bedchambers and locked the door behind them. She grabbed a backpack and tossed it to Nocturne.

"Can you stuff all you can into that while I'll try to do what I can to her wounds?"

"I don't think this one backpack is going to fit that much, Shadowheart." Nocturne stated as she set Shadowheart's spear leaning against the wall.

"It will, it's enchanted like a bag of holding."

"Oh, you really come prepared." Nocturne mused as she looked into the seemingly empty bag before getting to work.

Meanwhile Shadowheart patched up Tav to the best of her abilities, but she didn't have much in the way of healing in her chamber, just one emergency healing potion and some bandages. She had always relied on her magical healing abilities.

When Tav came to consciousness for a moment, she helped her drink the potion, but her wounds were so severe it didn't help much. Shadowheart knew she had to find more help for her.

"Here, all done." Nocturne said and gave Shadowheart the backpack.

"Thank you. Was there something in your room that you really needed?" Shadowheart asked and glanced nervously at the door, "Though it might be hazardous to go back." she added while trying to listen if she heard voices or other noises.

"I'm... not coming, Shadowheart." Nocturne said, her whole demeanor exuding dejection.

"What do you mean you're not coming?" Shadowheart asked and looked back at Nocturne.

"All I know in life is here. Leaving this place, it's too intimidating." Nocturne replied and turned her gaze to the side. She wrapped her arms around herself.

"You can't stay here, Nocturne, they will know you helped me. Everyone knew you were my favorite. Shar is sure to mark you too." Shadowheart asserted, a hint of panic creeping into her voice at the thought of leaving Nocturne behind.

"I... I'm scared, Shadowheart, I know nothing about life outside." Nocturne admitted and turned her gaze back to look at Shadowheart. In that moment, she looked like a child lost in the woods, like Shadowheart in her childhood memory.

"We can figure it all out together." Shadowheart offered.

"I..." Nocturne hesitated, looking between Shadowheart and the door back to the cloister.

"Nocturne, you have to come with me, please." Shadowheart pleaded, "I need you, Tav needs you. And I would never forgive myself if I were to abandon you here to your fate." her voice was full of emotion, the thought of losing her oldest friend - it was unbearable.

Nocturne's shoulders slumped and she let out a sigh, her gaze shifting from the door fully to Shadowheart.

"Okay, but we have to go before I lose my courage."

"We will, my friend." Shadowheart said, letting out a breath she was holding.

Shadowheart walked over to an unremarkable looking wall and pulled one of the torch holders, opening a secret passageway that led outside of the place.

Only she and Nocturne knew about its existence. When she had it made, she justified it to herself that it was for possible outside attacks, from Selûnites or some other groups. However, if she was honest, it was mostly made in the fear a day such as this would arrive.

Shadowheart went back to her spear and touched it. It would be cumbersome to bring it with her, it was easily spotted, it identified her and she needed to hide and be discreet. She knew she had to leave it behind.

Instead she opted to fetch a sword from her personal armory she'd had made some time ago. She had even taken lessons to learn to wield it.

Shadowheart looked at her own face reflected on the sword's surface. She saw for the first time the streak of white in her hair Shar had marked her with.

The sword lessons, the secret route out of the cloister, even going out of her way to have the backpack enchanted... she had just been preparing for this day all along, hadn't she.

Sharrans shouldn't hope. Sharrans shouldn't dream. Sharrans shouldn't try to improve their lot in life. Sharrans shouldn't plan for a better future or any kind of future.

Turns out Viconia was right all along, Shadowheart was a failure as a Sharran.

Shadowheart sheathed the sword and attached the scabbard to her belt.

"Are you ready?" Nocturne asked and she nodded in response.

Nocturne disappeared into the dark tunnel.

Shadowheart lifted Tav and looked around one last time. She had built this place from nothing. She had decided where every stone was laid, what lay in every nook and cranny. All of that after she had first restored the Cloister of Somber Embrace into a glory not known during Viconia's time.

Her own hands had torn it all down today. Years of dedicated work, destroyed in a few moments. She had expected it would sadden her more than it did.

It was hard to feel sad for that when she looked down and saw Tav in her arms. Not unharmed but at least alive.

Shadowheart turned around and walked into the passageway after Nocturne.

She did not look back.

Chapter Text

"How are you feeling?" Nocturne asked after they had been paddling down the river for a while.

Unconscious Tav was lying still at the helm of the boat, where they had laid her and tried to make her as comfortable as possible. Shadowheart looked at Tav, a worry hastening her as she kept paddling.

Once Shadowheart and Nocturne had gotten through the hidden passageway that led to the sewer system and then out to Rivington, they had breathed a little easier, even though they both knew they were far from safety. They had headed for the Cionthar river, Shadowheart carrying Tav, and stolen the first boat they came across, quickly taking to the river and paddling along as fast and far from Baldur's Gate as they could.

"I... I feel like if I stop to think, to really think about everything, I will crumble. I need to focus on her survival." Shadowheart said, "Our survival."

"I understand, I feel the same way." Nocturne said nodding, a solemn, sober look on her face, "Let's focus on that. We need to do something about those wounds." she said, looking at Tav too.

"We've come some way, we could pull up to shore here and I could see if I can find some plants with healing properties in the forest there." Shadowheart said, looking at the shoreline and nodding towards a forest sprawling along it.

They paddled the boat to the shore. Shadowheart walked into the forest while Nocturne remained with unconscious Tav in the boat, hidden amongst the reefs at the shore.

Shadowheart recalled everything she had learned years, even decades ago as a young initiate, when she had to not only learn the words and gestures needed for the incantations, but the more practical skills as well. Knowledge about plants that could both kill and heal - one plant often capable of both, just the dosage being the difference between life and death.

She wandered deeper, getting frustrated by the lack of plants she needed. The idea of Nocturne and Tav alone in the boat was gnawing at the back of her mind. Every minute spending fumbling in the forest spelt danger for Tav.

There was a steep uphill ahead, and Shadowheart decided to climb it in the hopes she would get a clearer view from the top, to get some kind of lay of the forest. It wasn't the easiest thing to do in her armor, but she pushed on and arrived at the top sweaty and panting. The forest sprawled out in every direction, but to her relief, there was a grove nearby. It meant there would be more sunlight getting through than in the forest and it might have the kind of plants she needed desperately.

With nothing else left to do, she took a careful step forward and began to descend. Even in the middle of the worry, stress and hurry, she tried to stay aware of her surroundings and not get lost in the forest. The last thing she needed was to keep wandering aimlessly while Tav was suffering. She kept heading towards where she remembered seeing the open area, moving with light footsteps, her training kicking in unconsciously.

When Shadowheart was nearing the grove, she heard a sound, a humming coming from nearby. She stopped in her tracks and listened. It was a woman's voice. Slowly and carefully creeping closer, Shadowheart kept out of view behind the trees, until she could see a young human woman crouching on the forest floor, her back turned to Shadowheart, oblivious to her presence.

The woman was wearing a simple green dress. She had a scythe in her hand and was picking up plants and flowers into a basket. Her strawberry blonde hair was braided much looser than Shadowheart's ever had.

What would be the odds of her being a healer? What would be the odds of her being a Sharran in disguise? She could be just some peasant. Shadowheart weighed her options. She could play it safe and leave, but if the woman was a healer, she could help Tav.

The woman being a Sharran was a possibility, but not a huge one. Shar's work was best done amongst people and the societies that needed toppling, not isolated in the middle of the forest. Besides, she wasn't built like a fighter and she was a lot shorter than Shadowheart. It would probably be easy to best her if it came to that. But then again it wouldn't be wise to show her face to anyone as they were on the run.

She was indecisive, but then the worry over Tav's condition won. She cleared her throat and stepped out from behind the tree, "Good day, miss."

The woman froze and then quickly got up and turned around, looking startled. "Good day. I had no idea anyone was around." She said, her eyes going from Shadowheart's eyes to her armor and to the sword dangling from her waist. A look of nervousness took over her features.

"I'm just a traveler passing by this area. A traveler in need of help." Shadowheart said, trying to keep her tone of voice and body language relaxed to not startle the woman any further.

"What kind of help?" She asked warily.

Shadowheart let out a breath she was holding. She had gone this far, there was no point stopping now.

"My traveling companion is wounded. I saw you picking up plants and I was wondering if you might be a healer?"

"I am." The woman said, nodding her head slowly, “What kind of injuries has your companion sustained?"

"Very extensive. It... might be better to just show you." Shadowheart conceded.

The woman looked reluctant, and hesitated a moment, but then nodded and said "Lead the way."

Shadowheart was relieved she had agreed to go with her, it would have been an unpleasant hassle to drag her kicking and screaming all the way to the boat and then force her to help Tav. She would have done it for Tav, but preferred it this way.

They walked back to the boat in awkward silence. The anxiety Shadowheart was feeling over Tav made it impossible for her to make any kind of small talk.

When they arrived, Nocturne looked up, her head peeking from the reeds. If she was surprised for Shadowheart to bring someone back, she hid it well.

"Here she is." Shadowheart said grimly. She felt Tav had gotten paler while she had been gone, but it might have been her anxious imagination making things up.

The woman's eyes widened as she saw the state Tav was in. She knelt down beside the boat, looking her over.

"You weren't exaggerating when you said that her injuries were extensive. What happened to her?" She asked.

Nocturne and Shadowheart shared a look of mutual understanding.

"Some very bad people got to her. Are you able to help her?"

The woman was silent for a moment, contemplating. She looked between Shadowheart and Nocturne, her gaze also lingering on Nocturne's armor and her weapons. But then she looked back at Tav and she sighed.

"I can, but not here. You'd have to bring her to my cabin. All my potions and equipment are here."

Shadowheart looked at Tav. She looked so frail lying there eyes closed, the bruises and cuts on her prominent and angry looking against pale skin. She gave a curt nod and prepared to lift Tav.

Nocturne dragged the boat deeper in, flipped it over and hid it with branches. The woman looked on, but didn't make a comment about it.

The woman's name was Iris and luckily her cabin wasn't far away. It was a quaint little building with a small yard and a barn. Shadowheart saw chickens and a cow roaming about and a small kitchen garden nearby.

The woman opened the door to the cabin. It was very homely and inviting inside as well, filled with simple wooden furniture and colorful curtains and pots of flowers.

"I have a small spare room on the right, you can take her there." Iris said to Shadowheart and walked over to the fireplace and started working on lighting a fire.

"Nocturne, that was your name, right? Could you fetch water from the well? We need to boil it. Meanwhile I will prepare other ingredients." Shadowheart heard Iris saying.

Shadowheart laid Tav gently on the bed and tried to make her as comfortable as possible. She looked down on Tav's pale face, worry forming a crinkle between her eyebrows. However risky this decision might have been, she was glad she had made it.

"Hang in there Tav, you're about to get help." She whispered and brushed a stray strand of hair from Tav's face and bent down to give her a kiss on the forehead.

The next few hours Iris worked on Tav while Shadowheart and Nocturne assisted her. Luckily for them and Tav, the woman was a druid and was able to weave a bit of magic into her healing. They could immediately see some of the bruises and cuts fading away into nothingness.

The one that didn't heal at all, was the one Nightbringer had given to Tav last. It was still bleeding, the black void of Shar staring at them mockingly.

The mere sight of it unnerved Shadowheart and the memory of witnessing the branding chilled her bones even in the warmth of the cabin. She shook the feeling away, focusing her attention back to Tav.

Iris bandaged the bleeding circle, frowning the whole time, probably wondering how such an injury could even happen. She swiped her forehead and stayed still for a moment.

"I can heal the remaining bruises in the morning and try again to heal this one." Iris said, pointing at the circle that had already bled through the bandages, forming a red circle on Tav's chest. "But for now, I've done what I can for her. She needs to rest now, but I'm hopeful she'll be awake some time today. You all are welcome to spend the night." she concluded.

Shadowheart let out a quiet sigh of relief. Nocturne put her hand on her shoulder, offering comfort. Shadowheart managed to give her a small, tired smile before she turned her attention back on Tav.

Iris gathered up the remaining bandages, herbs and equipment and left the room.

"What is the plan now?" Nocturne asked as soon as Iris had closed the door behind her.

Shadowheart bit her cheek, thinking through different options, not many of them any good. Then her gaze fell back on Tav's chest.

"We need a place to lay low, to recuperate. We're both marked by Shar by now so there won't be many safe places for us, at least not in cities and towns." Shadowheart mused.

The worry and fear was clear on Nocturne's face, even if she tried to hide it. Shadowheart looked at her sympathetically, "I'm sorry I got you involved in this.".

"Shadowheart, I'm just glad I was able to help you. Don't be sorry, I am not." Nocturne said and squeezed her hand. She was quiet for a moment. "If we can't go to cities, does it mean hiding in the wilderness? For the rest of our days?"

Shadowheart was quiet, her gaze wandering back to Tav's chest. "I'm not sure that is a viable option either. We need allies. Supplies. Shelter. But most of all, we need to figure out what the branding means and what it does."

Nocturne also looked at the mark. "Whatever it is, it does have a foreboding look about it. Do you have any idea where we could start then?"

"My old friends." Shadowheart started to say, then hesitated. Could they be called friends anymore? None of them took it well when she became a Dark Justiciar, even less so when she took the title of Mother Superior. But there was no other option left. No one else. And she was sure they would at least be willing to help Tav.

"At least one of them lives in Waterdeep and I know he has access to a wide range of knowledge. Being a wizard, if he welcomes us, it might even be a rather safe place to stay."

"Beats any idea that comes to my mind." Nocturne replied nodding, "But Waterdeep is in the North, River Cionthar leads to the East. We need horses."

"You're right." Shadowheart agreed but felt reluctant to leave Tav's side to deal with the matter, her eyes not once leaving Tav.

"I could..." Nocturne started to say hesitantly, "I could ask Iris if she knows a place nearby where I could go buy some horses. You could stay with Tav."

"Are you sure?" Shadowheart asked surprised, knowing that this was all new for Nocturne, who had spent her whole life in the solitude of the cloister. And now she was going horse shopping alone in the middle of nowhere.

"I'm sure." Nocturne reassured her. Shadowheart squeezed her hand briefly as a thanks. She was very proud of Nocturne, how brave she had been, how brave she was now, even when her whole world had just been turned upside down.

Shadowheart sat on the edge of Tav's bed, holding her hand, listening to Nocturne asking Iris about the horses and getting instructions to a place. Nocturne came back and told her it would take her several hours to travel there by foot and then come back. They had no other choice so Nocturne departed and Shadowheart was left by Tav's side.

The following hours were spent staring at the rise and fall of Tav's chest, her sleeping features twitching every now and again, the color of life slowly returning to her. Shadowheart was relieved the worst seemed to be over, but seeing Tav still bruised and unconscious - it was hard for her.

Her thoughts constantly slipped to the events of this morning and the day before. Things she could have done differently had she not been such a willing thrall for Shar. Things she could have done differently long ago to prevent all this from happening. She knew if she was going to remain strong for Tav, she had to stave these thoughts off for now.

Leaning forward, she gave Tav another kiss on the forehead and caressed her cheek and stood up. Shadowheart then paced around the room, trying to think what she could do to keep her emotions in check. She knew Tav was sleeping and would be fine without her, but she was still reluctant to leave her side. But if she remained in the room alone, she would succumb to the regrets and guilt and she couldn't allow herself to be drowned in them.

Shadowheart knew she still had to deal with Iris. She couldn't leave any witnesses of their presence here, of their escape route. It had to be dealt with sooner or later, she might as well do it now that Nocturne was elsewhere and Tav was out of it. Shadowheart was sure Nocturne would understand her reasoning eventually, but Tav would be a whole different matter. She hoped Tav would never have to know.

Shadowheart gave one last look to make sure Tav was comfortable before leaving the guest bedroom and entering the living room of the cabin.

Iris wasn't there at the moment, and instead of searching for her outside, Shadowheart opted to wait for her in the cabin. She walked around the space, looking through her things to pass time. A book was lying on the shelf. Shadowheart picked it up. It was a prayer book dedicated to Selûne.

Was Iris part of a druid circle dedicated to Selûne so close to Baldur's Gate and Shadowheart had no idea of its existence? They must be deep in the underground purposefully.

Iris walked back in and froze as she saw Shadowheart holding the book.

"I see Selûne is close to your heart " Shadowheart murmured and set down the book.

"And I know at least you and your tiefling friend are Sharrans."

"The armor?"

Iris nodded.

"And you still decided to help us?" Shadowheart asked but didn't add out loud "how foolish" .

"Your friend was in a bad shape and she would have gotten worse if her injuries were left untreated. I had the ability to help. I just did what any decent person would have done." Iris explained, her eyes observing Shadowheart's every move.

"And that could have led you to be killed. Or something much, much worse." Shadowheart thought.

This encounter could still leave her killed. Not because Iris was a Selûnite - Shadowheart didn't care about that anymore. She would do it because it was the most logical thing for her to do now that Iris had already helped Tav over the worse.

That's what a Sharran would do: leave no witnesses behind. Take her head too, so her corpse couldn't be interrogated after death. Cover their tracks and make this place into another abandoned cabin in the forest.

"That book was actually my mother's." Iris said and walked over while Shadowheart contemplated the most painless way to do it. There were so many possibilities, bodies were very weak and Iris wore no armor.

"She was much more devoted than I was, but I still follow the Moonmaiden's guidance." She continued, "She passed away some time ago. I feel closer to her when I read the prayers."

Shadowheart felt an ache in her heart, images of her own tortured mother flashing in her mind. She had to sit down and concentrate on breathing.

"Are you okay?" Iris asked, furrowing her brows, "Were you injured too?"

"I am fine. I'm... Sorry for your loss." Shadowheart murmured as a reply.

Loss is a gift, girl.

"Shit." She thought. She knew she needed to find something else to think about before her mind would start unraveling.

"Is there anything you need help with? Here or outside?"

Half an hour later Shadowheart had removed her armor and was chopping wood.

Anyone who knew her would have found it amusing that the Mother Superior was toiling away like a peasant, in her undershirt, covered in dirt and sweating. Muscles straining each time she lifted the axe and brought it back down.

She did it until she was exhausted and then she asked for another task and another. Iris looked worried, but didn't say anything, just providing her with more tasks and something to drink.

She seemed to be a natural with all the work around the cabin. Maybe in another life she could have become a farmer instead of a leader of a morally questionable religious organization. The thought amused her.

It took her a while, but she got everything done. She swiped the sweat from her forehead and went back in.

"I chopped all the wood, piled them, fed the animals and fetched water. Was there anything else?"

"Thank you. You could start a fire and get that water warmed up. Once your friend comes to, I'd imagine she'd be eager to take a bath and get her clothes cleaned -" there's was pause as she looked at Shadowheart's disheveled form, "Looks like you could use one as well."

Looking at herself in the mirror Shadowheart could only agree.

She went back to work and when she was about to be done she heard Iris calling for her.

"Your friend woke up. She's asking for you." Iris barely had time to finish her sentence as Shadowheart rushed past her muttering her thanks.

She rushed into the guest room and felt relief wash over her as she saw Tav really was awake and there was a more healthy color on her cheeks.

"What are you wearing? I don't think I've seen you in anything other than armor, robes or silken undergarments since you became Mother Superior." Was the first thing Tav said to her, giving her a weak smile.

"Don't forget "in nothing"." Shadowheart said, a twinkle in her eye as she sat on the edge of Tav's bed.

Tav blushed lightly. "How could I forget that?"

"Good." Shadowheart whispered and leaned to give her a kiss on the forehead, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling okay. " Tav murmured, looking tired still, "Where are we and who was that woman?"

"We came down the river by boat." Shadowheart said and then explained to Tav how she met Iris and how they ended up in the cabin.

"I see." Tav said, taking it all in, "About what happened back at the cloister..." Tav trailed off.

"First, we need to get you healed up and well rested. Nocturne went to procure some horses, she should come back later."

"They're coming after us aren't they? I'm feeling better, we can leave today." Tav said and started to sit up.

"No, Tav." Shadowheart said and pushed her gently back on the bed, "We're going to stay one night so you can get rest and Iris can heal you again in the morning."

"Okay." Tav agreed, letting out a small sigh of relief.

"How does some food and a bath sound like?"

"Heavenly."

The simple stew Iris had prepared tasted like a meal fit for kings and queens for Tav who felt like she hadn't eaten for days. Nocturne returned with three horses just in time for the meal and they all sat together, huddled around Iris' small dinner table.

While the not-so-Sharrans were more reserved in their idle conversation, Tav and Iris chatted away like they had known each other much longer than just having met. Shadowheart couldn't help but smile as she listened on, relieved Tav was conscious again, seemingly being almost her usual self, alive and talking. For a moment it was hard to imagine they had been in mortal danger earlier that day, that in a way they still were. Some of the stress and worry she had felt earlier that day melted away.

After the dinner, Tav and Shadowheart headed for the bath. Tav's movements were still slow and stiff. She struggled taking off her clothes and Shadowheart assisted her, her heart aching to see Tav in this condition. Shadowheart had to keep herself in check to not start spiraling again, with the amount of guilt she felt over everything. She concentrated her attention on being there for Tav. After helping Tav with the clothes, Shadowheart helped her into the bath.

Tav felt like she had ascended to heaven the moment she was engulfed in the warm water. She closed her eyes as Shadowheart washed her hair. Her fingers felt nice against Tav's scalp.

"You know, I think this bathtub could fit us both." Tav murmured, eyes closed.

Shadowheart raised her eyebrow, a smile pulling at the corner of her lip. "Oh yeah?"

"Mmm." Tav said. She opened one eye and her gaze followed Shadowheart as she sauntered around the bathtub, shedding her clothes as she went. Shadowheart's confident smile as she stepped into the bath gave Tav butterflies.

Shadowheart sat next to Tav, their legs were touching. She turned her head to face her. Green eyes locked into Tav's. There were so many more emotions hiding behind them than usual.

"How are you?" Tav asked her.

"Concentrated on getting us to safety." there was no emotion in the answer, Shadowheart's eyes kept her secrets hidden.

Tav leaned her head backwards and rested it against the edge of the bathtub. She was pretty sure she understood where Shadowheart was coming from. If Tav closed her eyes, she saw Nighbringer's gleeful face. She had made Tav experience the worst pain she had ever felt in her life. She had made Tav feel more helpless than she had ever felt in her life. So Tav kept her eyes open and concentrated on Shadowheart.

"Kiss me, Shadowheart." Tav murmured. They could at least have this short reprieve and she yearned so much to touch Shadowheart, to feel her, to have this physical affirmation that they really made it. She needed to know that it was all real and not some sort of dream she was having while being unconscious.

Shadowheart hesitated only for a moment, before she leaned closer to Tav and kissed her, her tongue sought entrance that Tav gave enthusiastically. They kissed slowly, sweetly as long as they were able to before they both were left slightly dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

Heavy breathing Tav took hold of Shadowheart's hand and put it on her thigh.

"Tav, you should be resting." Shadowheart protested, gently laying her hand on Tav's chest instead, but Tav could see the same need in her eyes that she was feeling.

Tav cupped Shadowheart's cheek, brushing her skin there before it roamed down to trace her jawline and Tav kissed her again. Her other hand found Shadowheart's breast. She squeezed it lightly, earning a muffled moan against her mouth.

Shadowheart gently but firmly broke off the kiss. "Tav..."

"I need this. I need you." Tav said. They looked at each other for a while.

"You're sure you’re up for this?" Shadowheart asked again, but Tav could hear she was on the brink of giving in.

"I am." Tav reassured her, brushing the skin under Shadowheart's ear, Tav felt her leaning into her touch.

"Okay, but we're only taking care of you." Shadowheart finally relented, her tone of voice leaving no room for arguments, "I'm going to help you onto my lap and you can rest yourself against me."

Tav let out a sigh when she felt Shadowheart's frame against her back. She rested her head against Shadowheart's shoulder, her eyes drifting close as it felt so relaxing and comforting.

"Now tell me if something feels uncomfortable, hurts or you're getting too tired, anything." Shadowheart murmured into Tav's ear. Her warm breath sent shivers down Tav's spine.

"I promise." Tav replied, her hands tracing along the sides of Shadowheart's thighs.

Shadowheart started by first kissing Tav's shoulder. She kissed all along it, her touch feather light, which turned into nibbling, while she listened to the little sighs and moans coming out of Tav. Her hands sneaked around to cup Tav's breasts and she squeezed them tentatively.

"More." came the raspy plea and Shadowheart obliged.

As her hand squeezed Tav's breasts harder, her hot lips moved to Tav's throat, biting the sweet spot that made Tav squirm in her lap. Her thumbs brushed over Tav's nipples and then came back to tease and pinch them in ways she knew drove Tav mad with pleasure.

It didn't take long for Tav to pant out: "Shadowheart, I need more."

Shadowheart let go of one of Tav's breasts and moved her right hand to slide smoothly over Tav's stomach until she reached Tav's thigh. She didn't tease this time like she usually did, instead she slid her fingers between Tav's legs.

Tav spread her legs more and Shadowheart slid her fingers through Tav's folds a few times, exploring, eliciting sighs of pleasure, each one widening the smile on her face. Then she concentrated her attention on Tav's sensitive bundle of nerves. The bud quickly became all swollen and hard under her touch, each passing of her fingers over it earned a moan from Tav's lips.

Tav's hips buckled lightly against Shadowheart's touch, seeking more of the pleasure, despite her best efforts to stay still and not strain herself. Shadowheart moved her fingers a bit harder and faster and it didn't take long before orgasm racked through Tav.

Tav came moaning Shadowheart's name into the night and she shuddered for a good while in her arms.

Shadowheart gradually eased up the movements of her hands and then stopped entirely. She moved her hand to embrace out of breath Tav. Slowly Tav's breathing evened out and she relaxed against Shadowheart, leaning her head against her shoulder.

"Part of me can't believe we're alive after all that." Tav said, looking up at the ceiling.

"Mmm." Shadowheart murmured in agreement.

Tav turned to look at Shadowheart over her shoulder and smiled at her, then she rested her head again against her shoulder and Shadowheart wrapped her arms around Tav's torso and embraced her. They remained still a good while, in silence, taking comfort from the touch.

Afterwards Shadowheart helped Tav out of the bathtub and helped her dry up. While doing that she also looked over all of Tav's injuries.

"You still have some bruising, but Iris' healing has closed off all the wounds except for this one." She said, meaning the one left by Nighbringer's magical branding tool.

Shadowheart watched how the edges of the mark kept bleeding slowly, the color still angry looking. A wave of anxiety washed over Shadowheart as she remembered Nighbringer's words, how it would brand a heretic never to be loyal to any god during their life. She never heard the rest of the explanation, but she was sure it was something sinister, there was no doubt about that. Whatever it was, they would have to find out.

"I still feel like I've been beaten up and that circle hurts." Tav said to her grimacing in pain.

Shadowheart took some bandages and started to bind the wound. Soon the blood seeped through them just like before, forming a perfect circle.

"We need a place to lay low and a place to seek knowledge. I was thinking about our friend Gale. Do you think he is still in Waterdeep?" Shadowheart asked Tav.

"Last I spoke to him he very much was and that wasn't very long ago." Tav replied, looking a bit pale again.

"I think we should start making our way to Waterdeep then."

"Would be nice to see him." Tav murmured with half lidded eyes, "I'm feeling tired again."

"We need to get you back in bed." Shadowheart said and helped Tav to put on some clean clothes Iris had borrowed them.

They walked slowly back into the guest room. Shadowheart helped Tav back onto the bed and drew a blanket over her.

"Thank you... for everything."

"Don't thank me. Just... rest, please Tav." Shadowheart said in a soft voice and caressed her head.

"Stay with me..." Tav murmured.

"I will." Shadowheart whispered back.

There was sadness in Shadowheart's eyes, Tav noticed. She wanted to ask about it so bad, but her mind was giving in to the sleep quickly and she felt herself drifting away. She closed her eyes and the last thing before sleep claimed her was the comforting touch of Shadowheart's fingers on her skin.

Shadowheart stayed still until she was sure Tav had fallen asleep completely. She gently ceased the caressing and pulled her hand away. She sat a long while by her side, making sure Tav had fallen properly asleep.

After a while Shadowheart settled down to sleep on the floor next to Tav's bed. Despite all that had happened that day, sleep didn't come easy to her. She knew she had to sleep, so she would be vigilant when it was her turn to take a watch after Nocturne. She focused on Tav's breathing, listening to the comforting sound of it to keep her thoughts from spiraling out of control and finally a dreamless sleep claimed her.

The next morning, Iris continued healing Tav with her magic. This time, it looked like she got the bleeding circle to close. However, it didn't fade away like other cuts and bruises, it was still there, the black void of Shar in the middle of it.

"There you go, you should be all better now." Iris said to Tav after she finished.

"I'm feeling much better. Thank you, Iris." Tav said and rose to a sitting position.

"I don't want to hurry you, but do you think you'd be able to sit on a horse if I ride it?" Shadowheart asked Tav.

"I can." Tav said, nodding.

They ate breakfast quickly and got ready to leave. Hurry was guiding their every step, the dread, the thought that Sharrans would most likely be hunting them, that they would be on their trail by now.

Shadowheart looked on as Tav hugged Iris goodbye, murmuring her thanks to her as they all said their goodbyes.

The horses Nocturne had procured day earlier were ready. One was a gray horse with white spots all over it. One was brown with a lighter brown, almost blonde mane. The last one was black as night, and Shadowheart already knew that one was going to be hers.

Nocturne and Shadowheart helped Tav on the saddle on the black horse. Before lifting herself to sit behind Tav, Shadowheart stopped and glanced back at the cabin.

"You go ahead, I'll catch up with you." Shadowheart said and turned to walk back to the cabin.

Tav looked at her confused while Nocturne had a much grimmer expression on her face. She looked like she wanted to stop Shadowheart but thought better of it.

Shadowheart knew this was the final moment to take care of the witness, the one who knew they had been here. Her footsteps felt heavy as she walked back to the cabin.

"Did you forget something?" Iris asked as she heard Shadowheart coming back.

Shadowheart's hand rested on the hilt of her sword.

"Don't hesitate, just do it, quickly." she coaxed herself.

But she did hesitate as she looked at the young woman who had gone out of her way to help her lover after her so-called allies had tortured and almost killed her. She knew what the cold, calculated, logical thing would be, but it felt wrong.

She moved her hand away from the hilt of her sword. There was no way she was able to go through with it. So instead she took a pouch filled with gold coins and gave it to her. Iris looked at her bewildered.

"I didn't help you for monetary reward." she protested, shaking her head gently.

"Just take it, get out of here for a few weeks, rent a place somewhere else." Shadowheart said, still trying to hand out the bag, "The ones who did this to our friend... I can't guarantee they won't come searching for us."

"Even if that's true, there's no way I could leave my animals and crops untended." Iris said, nodding towards her barn.

Shadowheart sighed and she put the bag of coins away.

"If you ever see any other Sharran here, flee, no matter what kind of sob story or injuries they have." Shadowheart insisted.

"You'd had me do that when I first met you?" Iris asked, raising her eyebrow, "I'm a healer, of course I feel an obligation to help."

"Me and my tiefling friend, we are former Sharrans. Frankly, that is the only reason you're still alive and well. The ones on our trail are true Sharrans." Shadowheart said trying to get her to understand. Iris did get a bit paler by the comment, "If you ever have an inkling, even a feeling, that something is wrong, run or hide or both."

"Fine. Very well." Iris relented.

Shadowheart was surprised how relieved she felt by her promise. "Thank you for everything you did for my friend. I'm indebted to you and... I'm sorry for all the trouble."

"I don't know what is going on with the three of you, but best of luck." Iris said, sounding sincere and giving her a little smile.

Shadowheart nodded solemnly and turned to leave for the final time.

The amount of times she had reprimanded Tav for her bleeding heart and merciful nature during their travels and now she herself was acting the same way.

Shadowheart sighed, and returned to Tav and Nocturne. They took off and were on the road to Waterdeep.

Chapter Text

It had been broken and now it lay still in the blessed darkness of its mistress.

Nothing was more familiar to it than darkness.

Bright summer days of childhood? The warming fires of a home's hearth? The joy of knowing another intimately? To it, they were concepts unknown.

Perhaps it had known them once, been filled with them. But through the blessing of the Nightsinger, it had been emptied of such falsehoods, emptied of the invading light and love until nothing else was left but oblivion, the sacred void of darkness.

An empty vessel to enact Shar's will upon the world.

The vessel had been broken before its time.

But its lifetime of service was not done.

So darkness itself mended it and gave it life anew.

***

Shadowheart, Tav and Nocturne had been on the road a couple of days now, repeating the same routine of riding for as long as they could before stopping for the night, making dinner, going to sleep and taking turns keeping watch. Then they woke up, rinsed and repeated. Shadowheart kept insisting that the enemy would be relentless and so should they be in their escape. It left room for nothing else.

After Tav had fully recovered from her injuries, she had been riding her own horse. Tav missed at least riding with Shadowheart, being so close to her, her back pressed against Shadowheart all day long. That was pretty much the only intimacy they had had since making love in the bathtub at that healer's place.

Tav and Shadowheart hadn't had much time to talk about all that had happened either. Everytime Tav had tried to bring it up one way or the other, Shadowheart had quickly brushed it aside. Questions like how Shadowheart was feeling after the events of the cloister, after abandoning Shar to save Tav's life, were left unanswered. They hadn't had any conversations alone either, and it left Tav wondering where they stood, where their relationship stood and if it could even be called that.

Tav observed Shadowheart and Nocturne cleaning up the remains of their dinner and cooking equipment wordlessly. A determination brewed inside Tav. This would be the night when she would demand that they talked things through. After years of dreaming of Shadowheart abandoning Shar and having it now become a reality - Tav couldn't let it slip from her fingers. They had an opportunity to start over, to build something new and real on the remains of their old lives and their old relationship.

Tav approached Shadowheart after they were done with the upkeep work for the camp. "Shadowheart, could we talk in private?" Tav asked and she could see from the uneasy expression on Shadowheart's face that she was anticipating what Tav would want to talk about.

"Tav, we all should prepare for bed, it's already getting dark and we need this rest." came the answer Tav had come to expect.

"This is really important. I wouldn't bring it up otherwise." Tav kept insisting.''Please, Shadowheart."

Shadowheart sighed. Just like Tav had hoped, Shadowheart was unable to say no to that tone of voice and the face Tav was making so they left Nocturne to tend to the camp. They didn't wander far, just enough to have some privacy. Tav played with the hem of her camp shirt nervously, trying to think of how to start the conversation. Meanwhile Shadowheart was taking in her surroundings, her eyes landing on a patch of flowers. Tav was sure Shadowheart hadn't been surrounded with so much color since she had traveled with her and the rest of their group.

"So I was wondering... where exactly you and I stand after... all this?" Tav asked hesitantly, unsure of what the best approach would be.

"Nowhere until we are safe and we have a plan." Shadowheart answered in a flat tone and turned to face Tav.

"Shadowheart..." Tav started and was unable to hide the emotional desperation in her voice, "I've waited for this for so long, for you to..." Tav paused, her eyes glistening as she struggled to find the words to continue.

Shadowheart's heart did ache as she listened to Tav and looked at her expression. But they weren't out of danger yet, she had to remain stalwart, unyielding, to lean on everything she knew to survive, for all of them to survive. For that to happen, she couldn't let her emotions get the better of her.

"Why didn't you leave after I told you I couldn't have any room in my heart for anyone else other than Lady Shar?" Shadowheart asked, knowing this wasn't the time to entertain this conversation, but it seemed she couldn't help herself.

"After you became Dark Justiciar and devoted yourself fully to Shar's service..." Tav said, clearly anxious as she was thinking back to that time, "...I couldn't... I didn't want to abandon you. You never seemed happy after that. That path seemed to just lead to misery and loneliness. So I took what you were still willing to give me."

Shadowheart faltered at that last part, had she really been that obvious, so easy for Tav to read? She really had tried to fit into that role after she had become Shar's Chosen. But it had been hard after being part of their group, after having experienced that little moment of courtship with Tav, and the promise it held, of what it could have developed into had they had a chance, had she been able to let go of her pursuit of becoming a Dark Justiciar.

In another life, their conversation the morning after defeating the Absolute wouldn't have been a parting, it might have been a start of something. But at that point, the choices were made, the hand had been dealt and she had believed they must live with what they were left with and what they had lost.

For a while it had been easy to get lost in the work after Shadowheart had cleansed the ranks of Shar's followers at her instructions and the Absolute crisis had been dealt with. The years had gone by swiftly, spreading Shar's word, which was easy as so many had suffered, been gripped by pain and loss. They practically rushed to the Dark Lady's embrace. Then she had been busy building the new temple in Shar's glory, to her own glory, to rule it like her Chosen.

And how empty that too had left her feeling, once the last stone was laid and all was ready. An empty throne room, a testament to her own hubris. Fulfilling that role had never been enough, no matter what she built, what she achieved, how many enemies she slayed in Lady Shar's name. Although repressed and hidden within, Shadowheart had always yearned for something that could have been, but was lost.

She had known all the way back then that things could have been different, had wished things were different, but Shadowheart had kept saying to herself that there was no guarantee they would have been better. She had fulfilled her destiny, just as Lady Shar had wished with little care for what she herself had wanted from life. It had never been about what she wanted. She had been molded to fit Lady Shar's image and what she expected of her.

When you know what you sacrificed to achieve it all, you know you've done something of value - Shadowheart had tried to convince herself of that. But she hadn't even known the full price, she had been made to forget her parents, and what she had been forced to do to them, by Shar and Viconia's design.

"Here I thought you stuck around because of the thrill of laying with the big, bad, dangerous Sharran Justiciar..." Shadowheart said half jokingly, her voice barely above a whisper as she looked into Tav's eyes.

But she knew it wasn't just sex, that it wasn't just pity like Tav had alluded to in her answer. Tav had truly held onto the hope that one day things would change. She had kept bringing it up every once in a while no matter how many times Shadowheart said what they shared couldn't be called love. And she herself had clung to Tav more than she realized. Those meetings they had, they were the happiest she had been while she was in Shar's service.

"I'll be first to admit I'm addicted to the thrill, but it was so much more than that... I truly wanted more, to be with you properly." Tav admitted and Shadowheart could see it made Tav feel very vulnerable.

That admission, Tav's voice and expression - they all were too much. That hopefulness in her eyes. It was one thing to think you know it and a whole other thing to hear it confirmed.

Shadowheart could feel all the repressed emotions rushing at her, it made her head thrum, she felt the panicked rhythm of her heart pounding on her temples. She couldn't let herself unravel now, maybe never, but definitely not now.

"And not just be with you, to lo-"

"Don't!" Shadowheart breathed out and Tav stopped mid sentence. Shadowheart steeled herself and took a deep breath. "Tav, we must focus on our mission here. Now is not the time and place for this." She said, hiding any emotions she had from her voice.

Tav's expression faltered. Shadowheart was taken aback by it, it almost looked like she had just broken Tav's heart.

"I'm so tired of this." Tav whispered, barely audible, tears wetting her cheeks, "Fine then. Have it your way. You always do." Tav said and walked away from Shadowheart.

Shadowheart looked after her, her heart aching like she didn't remember it doing in a very long time. Part of her wanted to go after Tav, but the logical part in her mind won and she remained still. She convinced herself this was for better, this was to save Tav.

Broken hearts mended as long as they were alive and beating.

Another night had fallen. Shadowheart was sitting on a log, keeping watch in the bright light of the campfire as a sea of stars spread over her. It was fascinating how quickly she adapted back to life on the road, waking up in the camp with her hair smelling like woodsmoke and fallen leaves stuck to her backside.

They didn't dare to let the fire die down. Someone, who didn't understand Shar like she did, might think that seeking shelter in darkness was the wisest course of action, but Shar knew everything that happened in her blessed darkness. Shadowheart knew they were being hunted and she was not about to make things easier for their hunters.

After what she had done back in the cloister, all the Sharrans she had killed, an apparent favorite of Lady Shar's among them... Shar's Chosen doing all that and abandoning Shar - there was no way there wouldn't be immediate consequences alongside long lasting ones. If they physically could, Shadowheart would have forced everyone to move without rest.

Occasionally Shadowheart glanced up in the sky to admire the brilliant display laid out across it. Now that she wasn't stuck in the darkness of the cloister anymore, she could admit she had missed the open sky, be it the blue sky with dazzling sun and white clouds during the day or the mesmerizing display of stars in the night sky. Shadowheart took a deep breath, inhaling the brisk air. She had also missed the fresh outdoor air. The cloister, located underground as it was, never smelled, or felt, fresh.

Shadowheart's pointed ears perked up, she heard rustling and her body immediately tensed for action, but relaxed as soon as she saw it was just Nocturne approaching.

"I don't think it's time for a watch change just yet." Shadowheart said and gave Nocturne a tired smile.

"Sleep didn't come to me, so I thought I'd see how you are holding up." Nocturne replied, taking a seat across from Shadowheart.

"I'm tired, but worry not, I'm more than capable of sitting through this watch and keeping us safe." Shadowheart said with a bit prickliness in her voice, trying to dodge the actual question.

"You know as well as I, that isn't what I meant." Nocturne replied, her eyes narrowing a bit, clearly not about to let Shadowheart off the hook this time.

Shadowheart sighed, staring at the roaring flames. The conversation from the day before with Tav had been on her mind constantly during her watch. She wasn't sure she could handle another hard conversation.

"I am hanging in there." Shadowheart said and stopped to contemplate how to continue.

There was so much bubbling under the surface, looking for a way out.

Guilt.

Years of regret threatened to consume her.

Anger.

Shadowheart felt like she was on the edge, peering into the abyss and if she gave way to any of those things, it would make her fall face first into it.

No. She needed to have all her senses sharp. Her head in the mission: Get to Waterdeep. In one piece preferably.

"I don't know if it's wise to delve into it further than that right now." Shadowheart said and looked at Nocturne.

"You can't deny the monumentality of what happened back in Baldur's Gate. What we did." Nocturne said, holding her gaze unyielding.

Shadowheart turned her gaze back to the fire, looking at the flames dancing their endless dance.

"It doesn't make much sense, does it? A whole lifetime of faith, of service..." Shadowheart started to say, thinking about everything she had done in Shar's name, everything she had built ever since becoming the leader of the cloister.

"Maybe it doesn't, but we both know neither of us were happy under Shar's thumb, in her domain of darkness and misery. Truly happy. I had just never had the courage to break free from it. You gave me that courage." Nocturne said and Shadowheart could see and hear the sincerity in her.

"And for that, I am happy." Shadowheart said and gave her a small smile before her expression sobered once again, "But it's hard to look past this. I feel like a huge part of me is missing. And worse still, I cut it out, myself." Shadowheart murmured softly.

"Your faith is far from the only thing that makes you, Shadowheart. Has never been. And it hasn't been more true ever since you were sent on the mission to retrieve that artifact all those years ago." Nocturne said, trying to keep her voice low so that their conversation wouldn't wake up Tav sleeping nearby. She glanced at Tav and then turned her attention back to Shadowheart. "You don't have to keep denying your feelings anymore."

"I'm not sure I am the same person I was before. The Shadowheart I thought I was would never have dreamed of defying Shar."

"But you did it for a reason, right? You did it to save Tav?" Nocturne pressed her.

"I am a stranger to myself, but Tav... just being in her company." Shadowheart started to say and then stopped. Could she really confess it? Just like that. She was free to do so now. "She does make me happy." Shadowheart admitted, her heart racing, part of her still expecting some kind of divine punishment for entertaining such thoughts.

"Then there is nothing standing in your way anymore if it's something you both want. No Lady of Loss demanding all of our hearts anymore." The way Nocturne said it, something about it caught Shadowheart's attention.

"I think I really hurt her yesterday..." Shadowheart confessed.

"Then you apologize to her in the morning." Nocturne retorted.

Shadowheart looked at Nocturne. Could this all really be that simple? That after all these years, they could pick up where they left off before the Gauntlet of Shar, before Shadowfell?

Then Shadowheart's mind went back to what Nocturne said just moments earlier, how Shar didn't have their hearts anymore. "So, the matters of the heart have been on your mind as well?" Shadowheart asked her.

Nocturne looked up at the stars for a moment, a sad little smile on her lips. "You know how the life in the cloister was for all of us. I have been lonely, yes. Not much of a chance of true connection or true romance amongst the Sharrans." Nocturned finally said in a rueful, soft voice.

"Not with forming friendships either. You're the only one I've never had to be afraid to turn my back to, in the fear of finding a dagger embedded there afterwards." Shadowheart said and chuckled.

"Same with you." Nocturne agreed, chuckling as well.

The laughter died on Shadowheart's lips as she suddenly felt a chill go through her spine. She turned her head away from the campfire and peered into the darkness, the hair on the back of her neck standing up.

"What is it?" Nocturne asked, following her gaze, acutely aware of how tense Shadowheart had just become.

"I don't know, I just feel something is off." Shadowheart whispered.

They both kept looking into the darkness, but didn't see anything. Then they heard it, low growling in the pitch black darkness.

The conversation with Shadowheart from last night still weighed heavy on Tav. The worst thing was, she had no one else to blame than herself. Shadowheart had always been upfront about what their relationship could and could not be. Tav had known that and it had been her choice to keep seeing her anyway and hang on to false hopes.

Knowing she got only herself to blame, however, didn't make it sting any less.

Tav finally fell into a restless dream about her past. About a time so long ago it could have been from another life entirely - in a way it truly was.

"Father, why do you not listen? I do not want to marry him." Younger version of herself says to her father. Her voice sounds so bright and innocent to her own ears.

"Taviel, we have talked about this more times than necessary. You know full well why you must do it. There will only be room here for the oldest heir, your brother and his family." His father's stern voice reminds her once again.

"At least give me some time to figure out what to do with my life... what if I at least found someone I actually want to marry?" she tries to reason with him.

"There is no reason for you to remain here past your coming of age day. We have found a suitable husband for you. This union will also strengthen the bond between our two families. It will be very beneficial for the future of our family name."

"But I don't want to." Tav says, her voice filled with desperation, the need to be heard at least once in her life.

Tav clenches her fists, feeling anger and desperation boiling inside her. Everything in this room is gilded with gold to hide the true ugliness residing inside these high walls.

"It doesn't matter what you want." His father answers with a voice devoid of any kind of emotion.

This is finally the last straw and Tav's unable to keep her emotions bottled up any longer.

"Fuck you to the nine hells and back!" she screams at her father's face.

"Tav!" her father shouts in a woman's voice.

"Tav, wake up!"

The dream started to dissolve into blackness and then her vision was filled with the alarmed face of Shadowheart.

"Tav, wake up and take up your arms! Something's not right here." Shadowheart whispered.

In a few seconds Tav picked up her daggers from the side of her bedroll and was up and assessing the situation. Shadowheart was the only one wearing her armor right now, she and Nocturne were in their camp clothing as they hadn't been on watch. Tav did see Nocturne had her weapons though.

Tav joined Shadowheart and Nocturne as they formed a triangle, back against back. The atmosphere was tense, their roaring campfire the only thing shedding light in the looming darkness. Tav couldn't see anything but she felt the hair on her arms standing up. Then there was low growling, so low she wasn't even sure it was there at first.

Tav, Shadowheart and Nocturne watched on as a form stepped silently from the darkness lurking at the edge of the campfire. They were clad in a Sharran armor, similar to what Shadowheart herself was wearing, but all black from the metal to the fabric adorning it. As the flickering light hit the armor, it seemed to die. Light had a habit of quivering away in fear from Shadowheart's armor as well, but this one looked like it sucked light itself, not unlike the Mirror of Loss.

"I'm sure you all have missed me, as our meeting last time was...cut short after all." the form said in a hoarse, cold whisper, still recognizable as Nightbringer's voice. They couldn't see her face from under the mask, but Tav recognized it to be the same one Shadowheart had dropped and abandoned in the pool of blood. The blood had now dried on the mask's surface like a grim artwork. As she moved closer, Tav realized she didn't see her eyes, instead there was a void, a pure darkness lurking behind the mask.

How she was still alive, Tav didn't understand, she had witnessed Shadowheart slit her throat before her eyes, some of the droplets even landing on Tav's face. Then again, Shar was a goddess.

"And you're getting sloppy, Mother Inferior." Nightbringer said, focused on Shadowheart as she pulled a decapitated head from a sack she was carrying and threw the head at Shadowheart's feet.

The head rolled a few times on the ground and Tav didn't even have to see the face to know it was Iris, the blonde braid was very recognizable. Tav felt sick. It took all of her willpower not to throw up then and there. She couldn't believe how calm Shadowheart looked, only the paleness of her cheeks revealed she might be feeling something.

Tav was sure Nightbringer was giving them a chilling smile under the mask, the one Tav had received when Nightbringer had started to torture Tav. Memories from that painful time flooded Tav's mind, mixing with all the other pained emotions and the disgust she felt looking upon the evidence of the foul actions the Sharran had comitted, carelessly tossed at their feet.

Tav was like a dam, ready to burst. The familiar need to take risks, to be reckless, to feel alive was there again. And an opportunity, an outlet for all those feelings presented itself when the source of the growls they had heard earlier was revealed. The first few slumbering forms stumbled out of the darkness after Nightbringer.

Tav was bristling, itching to charge into the foray, not even caring about what those shapes were beyond recognizing Sharran emblems decorating their armor. The first rush of adrenaline was already pumping through her veins, soothing her thoughts like an old friend. The fear, the excitement. She slipped into the darkness of the night, to the shadows and planned to strike from the side, unseen, like she had done so many times before.

Shadowheart looked at Nightbringer, her eyes widening as she took in her form. Nightbringer's blackened eyes, the armor that ate light and left nothing behind but darkness, the mask Shadowheart had abandoned, Nighbringer's left hand's fingers that had gnarled into black talons, the tips dripping with inky darkness.

"She has become shadowed." Nocturne whispered by her side.

Shadowheart knew Nocturne was right. Shar must have deemed Nighbringer worthy of receiving such an honor, resurrected her and made her anew in Lady Shar's image. Shadowheart shifted uneasily, her hand reaching the hilt of her sword. Even if Sharrans regarded such a thing as a gift, those who received it were regarded with fear. Who knew what powers had been granted to Nightbringer with the resurrection.

And the other Sharrans Shadowheart had killed along with Nighbringer seemed to have received the dark, although lesser, gift from their Lady. Called back from the dead to serve her one more time, now staggering, mindless, undead of Shar, commanded by Nightbringer no doubt.

When Nightbringer had produced the head and tossed it at Shadowheart's feet, she felt like she had known this was coming when she had spared the girl, but failed to convince her to leave her cabin. Shadowheart's act of mercy had just led her to suffer more. Who knew what Nightbringer had done to the girl before she ended up like this. A sadness gripped Shadowheart for a second, but she chased it away. They were in danger and she had to get them out.

Shadowheart's first instinct was to avoid this fight, find their way to the horses and escape. Those undead may be tireless and relentless in their pursuit, having caught up with them, but they were slower than horses. She could see in Nocturne's eyes she was thinking the same. She glanced to her side to see if Tav was on the same page with them only to find Tav had disappeared. Then she saw her emerge from the shadows and attack one of the undead with deadly precision with her daggers.

"I guess we're fighting." Nocturne muttered between gritted teeth and drew her mace and shield and then joined the fray and attacked the undead closest to her, her mace connecting with its head with a sickening crunch.

Shadowheart faced Nightbringer, knowing she was the one who Nightbringer wanted the most, she had been the one Nightbringer had addressed and stared at this whole time and Shadowheart was the one who had killed her.

"As you can see I brought your friends with me, though I guess now they are my friends." Nighbringer rasped out, "Are you missing my silent friend, who your friend killed? Our Lady didn't deem him important enough to bring him back with us, I'm afraid."

"Shar is not my Lady anymore." Shadowheart said, her jaw tightening, her fingers grasping around the hilt of her sword.

Nightbringer ignored Shadowheart's response. "But thanks to you, I don't need him anymore. I am now Shar's Voice Made Flesh, her Chosen, the new Mother Superior of Cloister of Somber Embrace and the Reign of Night Cloister." She seemed especially excited to announce the latter, knowing it was the one Shadowheart had built.

"I couldn't care less about any of it anymore." Shadowheart stated, her eyes observing everything around her, for now it seemed that Tav and Nocturne were holding their own against the Sharran horrors, leaving dispatched undead behind with each strike of mace and slash of daggers.

"Keep lying to yourself, Mother Inferior, you've always been good at that." Nightbringer whispered.

Shadowheart unsheathed her sword and swung it in one smooth move, expecting it to connect with flesh, but it went through Nightbringer, her form had become misty, insubstantial.

"Having trouble?" Nightbringer asked before descending on Shadowheart with a flurry of strikes from a hidden blade and her talons.

Shadowheart parried most of them with her sword, but without her shield, some of them got through, scratching against the surface of her armor. Nightbringer's speed was fast, faster than it should be for a mere mortal. Every slash and stab Shadowheart made with her sword went through her as she became mist in a blink of an eye.

"The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew why I was summoned to deal with you." Nightbringer whispered, "You are weak, pathetic, unworthy of being her Chosen."

"This is your reward for a lifetime of servitude?" Shadowheart asked with a sneer clear in her voice, "To become Shar's monstrosity? I guess that's not much better than what my future would have been. Carved hollow and emptied."

"Silence, insolent heretic." Nighbringer rasped, "You know very well that emptiness is a holy state."

"To void oneself of all feeling, all attachment, is to approach the purity of Lady Shar's embrace." Shadowheart answered, quoting their scripture.

"Yes! Loss teaches us the truth. In its void, we are the purest expressions of ourselves." Nighbringer's voice had a fervent edge to it as she spoke, "Perhaps it's not too late for you to turn yourself away from the temptations of life and light. Repent, join our side and fight against your comrades, and our Lady might grace you and let you serve under me." Nightbringer offered.

"And you regard this as the purest expression of yourself?" Shadowheart asked, looking at her from head to toe, shaking her head, "The only thing your Lady will grant you, is death once she finds another toy and replaces you with it. Like she bid me to replace Viconia, like she would have replaced me one day."

"Only the sacred nothingness will endure, all else is lies, you know this!" Nightbringer's voice carried anger with it. "Life is an illusion - a discordant song composed of lies, breaking the peace of oblivion." she snarled at Shadowheart, making it clear no sense could be talked into her. Darkness itself seemed to spread from Nightbringer, snuffing out their campfire.

An unnatural darkness fell all around them.

Shadowheart's eyes drifted to seek Tav. She knew Tav couldn't see in this kind of darkness. Shadowheart couldn't tell how far the unnatural darkness reached and she was very worried Tav would be affected as well. She wanted to move away from Nightbringer and make sure Tav was okay, but there was no time as Nightbringer charged at Shadowheart, who parried the strike of her dagger with her sword.

The dagger connected with her blade and they were stuck in this position, close to each other, darkness behind the mask staring into a lively pair of green eyes. "Should I take your memories? Make you die as you lived, not knowing who you are. Grant you this last little mercy as there is nothing nobler than to forget and to surrender oneself to the darkness." Nightbringer said and Shadowheart could feel the cold caress of her mind seeking Shadowheart's.

"Or should I make you keep them, so you can remember everything you think you gained as life leaves your eyes. Know exactly who the ones dying beside you are, make their screams and last inhales be the last thing you hear." Nightbringer's raspy voice was getting an excited tint to it, "Seeing how you still don't repent, let the latter be your punishment. And we can speed it up." She pushed Shadowheart away from her and with the swipe of her cape, she took flight to Shadowheart's confusion.

It took Shadowheart a moment to realize she was going towards Tav, who was fumbling in the dark. She wouldn't even see her coming. In a desperate effort she bid the enchantment in her armor bend the shadows she had abandoned to her will and travel through them.

Just when Nightbringer's blade was about to connect with Tav's vulnerable back, Shadowheart appeared before her. The lady of luck wasn't at her side, the blade found purchase in the upper part of her armor, just where the protective metal didn't reach anymore. With inhuman strength, the dagger sank all the way through her protective layer of ring armor and found her flesh.

Shadowheart groaned in pain and immediately she felt the burn of poison, she could practically feel it starting to spread in her system.

"You fool." came the gleeful whisper as Nightbringer held the dagger in, the bloodied mask close to Shadowheart's face. If darkness could be delighted, this would be it.

"Shadowheart?" Tav's worried voice called to her, still unable to see her. Shadowheart watched in desperation as Tav got punched by one of the undead, falling on the ground, the hungry undead took a hold of her legs and started to drag her farther away from Shadowheart. It reminded Shadowheart of the first time she had seen Tav die back in Shadowfell. How desperately she wanted to move and help her, but couldn't.

Nocturne wasn't faring much better, a fatigue was setting in and the relentless attack of the undead Sharrans started to overwhelm her. One managed to grab her shield and pull it away from her, when another set upon her and down she went as well.

Shadowheart knew they all were moments away from perishing. She herself fell to the ground and Nighbringer was on her, pushing the dagger deeper into her fading body with a sickening crunch.

Shadowheart was helpless without her magic, without her powers, forced to watch the people she cared for most perish before dying herself.

Thoughts of her life drifted in and out of her mind. The faces of her parents haunting her last few moments.

Shadowheart gaze wandered away from everything, to the night sky where she saw the moon through the darkness, full and silvery, bright in the sky.

"You are just lost, Jenevelle. Selûne will show you the way home, in time." her father's last words echoed in her mind, his and her mother's faith had been unwavering until the very end.

A single tear escaped her eye.

"Help. Me." Shadowheart uttered, her voice barely above a whisper, the words broken and weak from the pain and poison. A desperate plea meant for the moon, meant for the Moonmaiden she had spent most of her life hating. She knew she was unworthy of Selûne's forgiveness after everything she had done, but her whole being was reaching for Selûne, asking her to help her save Tav and Nocturne.

"You're begging the moonbitch to help you now? How pathetic." Nightbringer hissed and twisted the dagger, earning a pained grunt from Shadowheart, "Embrace oblivion, heretic."

Somewhere in the sea of pain and sorrow Shadowheart felt the moon answering, reaching back. It wasn't the heavy, suffocating touch of Shar she had gotten used to. The touch was light, warm, it almost felt loving, comforting. Shadowheart accepted the touch and for the first time that night, she felt hope.

There was a connection forming. A familiar connection. She was able to feel the weave, her whole body thrummed with divine power and magic once again.

Shadowheart lifted up her weakened hand and summoned forth the power. First her eyes lit up golden, making Nighbringer pull back from her instinctively, then her raised hand started to glow with the same light. She gave it all she had and channeled the divinity she was once again connected to. A brilliant, bright wave of radiant light pulsed from her, burning away the undead Sharrans, the holy power of Selûne hungry to lay Shar's abominations to rest.

Nightbringer let out an unnatural screech and turned her head to the side, trying to pull away more, but Shadowheart used last of her strength to prevent her and the burning radiant magic burned half of Nightbringer's face and mask.

Nocturne and Tav, who both were injured and seconds away from perishing, looked on in awe as their assaulters turned to ashes before their eyes.

Shadowheart watched in relief how her magic annihilated the horde of the undead and how Nightbringer turned away from her, magically compelled to be terrified of her, and ran back into the darkness she came from. In her wake the unnatural darkness dissipated and the campfire roared back to life, shedding light once more.

Silence fell back in the forest.

Looking at the moon above her, Shadowheart heaved on the ground, her features illuminated by its silvery light. "Thank you." she breathed out, hardly unable to process what had just happened, but she was grateful nonetheless. Her vocal chords felt tight, the poison was working its way deeper into her system.

Shadowheart gathered the last of her strength and pulled the dagger out and then healed the worst of the damage it had done. It took a lot out of her.

"Tav... Nocturne... are you alright?" Shadowheart called out weakly, unable to turn her head anymore.

"I'm alright, Shadowheart." Shadowheart heard Nocturne calling from somewhere near.

"Shadowheart!" Came the frantic call from Tav and in seconds she was by Shadowheart's side. Tav's eyes looked her over and landed on the wound. It had turned black by now.

Shadowheart noticed Tav was also holding her own side, her shirt darkened with blood. She tried so hard to reach out her hand and heal Tav, but was unable.

Nocturne reached them and also knelt next to Shadowheart, looking at the wound. "What happened?" she asked.

"Blade. Poison." Each word was a struggle and brought pain with it.

"Sharran poison." Nocturne said, observing the black oozing from Shadowheart's gaping wound, "Tav, quick, get Shadowheart's backpack. We need the antidote."

Tav looked where the horses were. The other two were still whinnying in their place, startled and nervous, but Shadowheart's horse was gone, broken loose. "I can't, her horse isn't there..."

"Fuck it all." Nocturne cursed, "Shadowheart, you have to fight this, okay, I will get the antidote, but you have to give it your all and hang on until then." Nocturne said and turned to Tav. "Keep her company, don't let her slip away." and with that she ran to her own horse and disappeared into the night.

Tav turned to look at Shadowheart and her heart ached to see her face twisted with pain. Everything else but this moment faded away and the need to see Shadowheart safe again.

"You can't leave me..." Tav said sobbing, "Not after everything we've been through." Tav said cupping Shadowheart's cheek and gently stroking it with her thumb. Shadowheart couldn't move but her gaze found Tav's eyes.

I'm sorry Tav, for everything . Shadowheart thought and wished she was able to say it out loud, but her vocal chords were paralyzed now, she couldn't utter any sound no matter how hard she tried.

The poison was spreading through her body, she could feel it, her mind was getting affected as well, there was darkness already lurking in the corners of her eyes.

Last thing she heard before succumbed to it was Tav calling out "Shadowheart, stay with me, please." in a trembling, desperate voice.

Chapter Text

The mirror loomed tall and wide, exactly as Shadowheart remembered it. It did not reflect light like a normal mirror did. Instead, the dark surface ate light.

There were steps that led up to the mirror. Had they always been there? She couldn't remember. Shadowheart looked around and realized she wasn't in the cloister. She had no idea where she was. There was darkness all around. Only the Mirror of Loss brought a different kind of darkness with it—one charged with Shar's power.

Shadowheart took the remaining steps up and stopped in front of the giant disc looming over her. How many times had she stood in front of this thing, surrendering her precious memories to its hungry maw? How many times had she forgotten about it all?

Shadowheart extended her hand and hesitantly touched the smooth, dark surface. It felt cool, almost cold, under her fingers—just like Shar's embrace had felt in her dreams.

Her gaze fixed on a spot in the mirror that somehow seemed even darker than the rest of it. For a moment, she thought it was her own shadow on its surface, for it was shaped just like her.

"You've been such a disappointment to me, child. Everything that was done to groom you for your position, only for you to turn your back on it now. And for what? For love." the contempt was palpable in Shar's voice on the last word.

Shadowheart felt the energy in the mirror crackling, becoming more prominent.

"You already achieved so much, and you could have achieved so much more if you had just let go of her. All of this potential wasted. It just proves love leaves nothing but destruction in its wake. What will you have left, Shadowheart, once its embers cool into ashes?" Shar paused before continuing, "You will have nothing."

The mirror pulsed with Shar's magic, and purple lightning crackled on its surface, illuminating the darker silhouette. Shadowheart withdrew her hand and squinted to see better.

From the depths of its non-reflective surface, a shadowy figure began to materialize.

"Look upon what you could have been, had you had it in you to fully embrace the loss," Shar's voice echoed eerily in the darkness of the space.

A shadowed hand extended out of the mirror's depths, trying to grab Shadowheart, who instinctively took a step back. Next, a forearm extended from the mirror, followed by the gradual emergence of a full-bodied shadow figure. It was clear now that it was shaped exactly like Shadowheart. At first, it was just a dark blur, indistinct and wavering, as if unsure of its own existence. Then it began to take shape, its form becoming more defined and stable, seamlessly transitioning from an obscure shape in the mirror into a tangible presence in the space.

The figure's emergence was fluid and silent, like a whisper carried on a soft breeze. It moved with eerie grace, as if it had always belonged to both realms. As it stepped forth, its features became clearer—it was as tall as Shadowheart and the form mirrored hers, but unlike Shadowheart, it was cloaked in an ethereal darkness that seemed to absorb the light around it, just like the Mirror of Loss. Its eyes glowed with the all-too-familiar purple magical glow of Shar's powers.

As it stood in its full height, imposing before Shadowheart, the air itself grew thick with palpable tension. Before Shadowheart could take any further steps away, the shadow version of herself took another step forward and grabbed her by the throat. The shadow lifted her up with ease while she struggled in vain in its grasp and threw her off the platform.

Shadowheart hit the ground, the air knocked out of her, and she heaved, trying to fill her lungs. In a flash of purple lightning, the space was illuminated and she saw bloodied, dead bodies all around her. She blinked, unsure of what she was seeing, but terror was filling her soul.

There was another flash of lightning, and with that, there was no doubt left: the bodies of Karlach, Wyll, Lae'zel, Gale, Astarion, Minthara, and Halsin lay all around her, empty eyes staring into space, some straight at her. She tried to get up and crawl away, but then a panic settled in: Where was Tav?

Another flash of lightning, and she saw the shadow figure with the Spear of Night, impaling another figure to the ground, a suffocated yelp of pain was the only sound that followed.

"Tav!" Shadowheart called out, and the shadow turned to look at her. Another flash revealed the impaled figure was Nocturne, now dead like the others and lying on the ground.

A broken "No..." fell from Shadowheart's lips.

"Look how perfect she is. She doesn't hesitate to return any and all to my embrace, to empty herself of all feeling. No room for love and hope in her heart, just her utter devotion to me."

The shadow took the spear and pulled it out of Nocturne's still form. She walked over to Shadowheart and lifted the spear with two hands, aiming at Shadowheart's heart, ready to strike on command.

"She will be waiting for you. The moment your heart stops beating and I claim your soul, she will claim your body and it will rise again in my name."

Shadowheart looked up defiantly. "I will never bend to your will again, Shar," she spat out.

"You will, and you will kill everything that was ever dear to you, in my name."

"Shadowheart, you must fight against it. Stay with us." Tav's pleading voice was like the faintest whisper, suffocated in the looming darkness all around them.

Tav.

She must get back to Tav.

The spear came down, but Shadowheart managed to grab it before it sank into her heart. The shadow kept pushing, and Shadowheart kept fighting back, gritting her teeth, muscles in her arms and biceps trembling with the effort.

They were stuck in a standstill, but Shadowheart could feel her energy sapping away while the shadow version of herself looked emotionless and tireless.

"Shadowheart, come back to me..."

Nocturne's heart raced with the beat of the horse's hooves as they rushed through the forest, a blur of dark shapes and shadows. She urged the horse go faster through the underbrush, the cool night air whipping past her. Her focus was solely on finding Shadowheart's escaped horse and the backpack containing the antidote.

Moonlight pierced the canopy, lighting the path with its silvery glow. Riding this fast made Nocturne nervous; she was rusty, having last ridden regularly as a child. Her eyes strained to find any glimpse of the horse. She pushed her horse harder, trusting the animal to navigate the thick trees while she focused on spotting the runaway.

Every second counted. Nocturne felt the pressure of finding the antidote before the poison could shut down Shadowheart's system. Just as hopelessness threatened to overwhelm her, she spotted tracks illuminated by a beam of moonlight. She leaned forward, urging her horse to follow the trail, her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

Then she heard it—a distant whinny, faint but unmistakable. Nocturne slowed, listening carefully. She heard it again, closer this time. Following the sound, she wove through dense foliage until she reached the edge of a cliff.

There, at the cliff's edge, stood Shadowheart's horse, black as the surrounding night. The horse was skittish, eyes wide with fear, nostrils flaring at her approach. Nocturne dismounted slowly, her movements calm and deliberate.

"Easy now," she murmured, holding out her hand. "It's alright, I'm your friend."

The horse pawed the ground nervously, its ears flicking towards her voice. Nocturne continued speaking soothingly, her voice gentle. She moved closer, extending her hand until she touched the horse's quivering flank.

"You're alright," she whispered, running her hand along its neck and taking hold of the reins. Gradually, the horse calmed down, and Nocturne was able to lead it back to their campsite.

When they finally broke through the trees and into the clearing where they had set up camp, an immense wave of relief washed over Nocturne.

Tear-faced Tav was kneeling on the ground next to the unconscious Shadowheart and immediately called out to Nocturne when she noticed her. Nocturne quickly secured the horses, took the backpack, and rushed to them.

"Tav, hold her head up," Nocturne instructed while she knelt beside Shadowheart's still, pale form. One look at Tav told Nocturne the depths of her worry, despair, and borderline panic.

Nocturne couldn't allow herself to panic; she needed her hands steady and her head clear when dosing and giving the antidote to Shadowheart. She took Shadowheart's backpack and willed the antidote to materialize from the pocket reality hidden within, where she had put it back in the cloister when they were scrambling to escape the place.

A wave of relief washed over Nocturne once she felt the glass bottle in her hand, and she pulled it out.

"Ten drops to reverse the effects of the poison," Nocturne murmured out loud, remembering the lessons learned long ago.

"It will work, right? Right?" Tav demanded. Even in the darkness of the night, Nocturne could see tears wetting her cheeks.

"It should," was all Nocturne could offer her. She had no actual field experience using the poison or the antidote; she just knew the theory every Sharran had been taught.

Carefully, Nocturne fed the ten droplets, one by one, to Shadowheart.

Tav cradled Shadowheart's head in her lap and caressed her cheeks gently, her eyes seeking any signs of change on her pale face. The paleness of her skin made Shadowheart's scars look more prominent, and Tav's thumb trailed the long one under her right eye, as she had sometimes done when Shadowheart had occasionally allowed their trysts to have more intimate, gentler moments, as rare as they had been.

All they could do now was to wait and hope.

They didn't need to wait long before Shadowheart started to stir, a little color returning to her cheeks. Her eyes fluttered open, her gaze slowly focusing first on Nocturne and then on Tav.

"Shadowheart!" Tav breathed out, tears of relief wetting her cheeks all over again.

"Uh... where are we?" Shadowheart asked, her eyes darting around, looking disoriented.

"We're in our camp. Do you remember anything that happened tonight?" Nocturne asked.

"I... everything feels hazy..." Shadowheart started to say but then paused, "My throat is so dry, can I get some water?" she asked.

"Of course," Nocturne replied and offered a sip of water from her canteen while a worried-looking Tav held Shadowheart's head up more.

"You're... you're both safe?" Shadowheart asked after drinking, her voice still weak and strained.

"We are, thanks to you, Shadowheart," Nocturne said, relief palpable in her voice as she took Shadowheart's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"How are you feeling?" Tav asked, her voice choked up and emotional.

"Weak, tired, like someone ran me over with a horse," Shadowheart answered and gave them a weary smile.

"That's to be expected after getting poisoned. It was Sharran poison on Nightbringer's blade," Nocturne explained.

"Ah..." Shadowheart murmured, getting a rush of memories from earlier that night. "I think I remember now." She also remembered her nightmare, the sick feeling from that mixing and lingering with the effects of the poison.

"I could try to purge it further from my body now that I have my magic back," Shadowheart said. It was almost like she could still feel it coursing through her veins. "Can you help me sit up?"

"Of course," Tav rushed to say just when Nocturne was about to insist she should rest some more.

When Shadowheart got up with the help of Tav, her head swam with dizziness, and nausea hit her.

"Take it easy, it takes some time to recover," Nocturne said and offered her another sip of water, which Shadowheart took gratefully.

Then she reached for the newfound connection to Selûne and, to her surprise and relief, it was still there. With magic at her fingertips, she purged the rest of the poison from her body. She got a curious sensation like the poison resisted leaving her body but was forced to, compelled by her magic.

Shadowheart had been poisoned with the same poison before: when she was younger and specializing in healing, Viconia had made them practice poisoning and curing each other. It had felt different then; there definitely wasn't this feeling of it resisting being cured.

"Was the poison... laced with something?" Shadowheart murmured the question out loud.

"What do you mean, Shadowheart?" Nocturne asked, and Tav's features turned anxious again.

"It feels different, and I had this nightmare while I was unconscious," Shadowheart said, but felt it sounded ridiculous coming out of her mouth. "It's probably nothing, my head's just still hazy. Thank you both for saving me."

"Thank you for saving us before," Tav murmured, her expression difficult to read. "How did you manage to do it? I thought you lost your powers after you... saved me and defied Shar."

Shadowheart looked at both of them and then up at the sky, where the moon still loomed over them. "I... asked Moonmaiden's help and she answered."

Both Tav and Nocturne went quiet and just stared at her, taken by a surprise.

"You asked for Selûne's help," Tav finally got out, her voice hesitant as if she was unsure how to process the information.

"Our former mistress must be fuming," Nocturne mused, instinctively glancing at the darkness of the night surrounding them outside their campfire.

"She is. I had this nightmare while I was unconscious and it felt very real," Shadowheart murmured and explained what had happened in the nightmare.

"That's not real, right? That can't happen? She can't turn you into whatever Nightbringer or those Sharrans we just fought were?" Tav asked, looking between Shadowheart and Nocturne, who both had a somber look on their faces.

Shadowheart lowered her gaze, unable to look Tav in the eye. So much had happened in such a short amount of time; she had a hard time keeping it together. She glanced at Nocturne and knew from the look on her face that she was afraid Shar might be able to do that. Shadowheart had dedicated her life to Shar's service and was still bound to her by the curse, the dark mark on her hand a stark reminder of it.

"All we can do in this moment is hope for the best, and I think we all could use some rest," Nocturne offered, keeping her voice calm.

Shadowheart glanced at Tav again. Nocturne's words did little to ease the worried look on Tav's face, but Tav remained silent. She met Shadowheart's eyes and they both looked at each other silently for a moment. Shadowheart remembered how hurt Tav looked after their argument, but this was a different kind of hurt, born from worry for her. Shadowheart didn't feel like she deserved either Tav's worry or her affections.

The moment when Nightbringer went for Tav and was about to stab her with her blade came vividly to Shadowheart's mind; she felt anxiousness grip her whole body at the visceral memory. It was a moment all too similar to when Tav had died in the Shadowfell all those years ago. Her eyes fell on the darkened spot on Tav's side.

"You're injured," Shadowheart said and extended her hand towards it.

"You should save your strength and rest," Tav tried to protest, but closed her eyes when Shadowheart's hand touched the injury. She felt the healing magic closing up the wound in her side, a wound she had all but forgotten in her worry over Shadowheart's poisoning. "Thank you," Tav said, slowly opening her eyes.

Shadowheart's gaze was locked with Tav's for a moment, her fingers lingering on the now healed skin. She wanted to say so much more, do so much more, but couldn't, so she was left with the desire to see and keep Tav safe and well. "Let me know if you need more healing," Shadowheart said softly, then reluctantly withdrew her hand and turned to face Nocturne, still feeling Tav's eyes on her.

"Did you get injured?" Shadowheart asked Nocturne.

"Just a few cuts and bruises. I'm sure a good night's sleep will take care of them," Nocturne tried to protest.

"Hush, both of you. I have plenty of magic and strength left. There's no need for you to suffer," Shadowheart said and touched Nocturne's shoulder.

Nocturne was about to protest again, but then relented and nodded, grateful. The healing energy washed over her, making Nocturne recoil almost instinctively as she felt the Moonmaiden's influence in it. "Ha, I can... your magic feels different now," Nocturne said, chuckling awkwardly. Feeling Selûne's influence made Shadowheart's earlier words about her new benefactor an undeniable reality.

"It takes time to get used to it," Shadowheart offered sympathetically, understanding full well what Nocturne must be feeling when coming into contact with Selûne's power.

"Thank you," Nocturne said, nodding, and then looked up at the moon. "And you too, I think," she added.

There was nothing left to do but head to their bedrolls and go to sleep while Nocturne was left behind to keep watch.

But sleep didn't come easily to Shadowheart, even though she still felt tired after the poison. She looked up at the sky, the full moon looming bright. She felt the new connection to Selûne, as fragile and strained as it might be, it was still there as she reached for it. There were so many questions still unanswered, the biggest one probably being why Selûne had decided to help her after everything she had done.

There was no way Shadowheart would get any sleep that night; she needed to commune with the Moonmaiden. It was as if the moon agreed with her, and she felt a sudden pull towards the forest, to walk deeper into it.

Shadowheart slipped out of her bedroll and walked into the forest. She saw Nocturne turn her head in her direction but said nothing.

She felt like the silvery moonlight was leading her somewhere. After a short walk, she noticed the trees were younger than the other trees in the forest. She paid closer attention to the ground and saw there were foundations of buildings all around her, now covered with moss and hidden by other plants and shrubbery.

After walking around the area, she stopped at one of the ruined buildings with a stone foundation almost buried in greenery and an old statue still standing on one end of it. Weather had chipped away most of its features, but Shadowheart still recognized it was meant to depict Selûne. She knew the Moonmaiden had guided her here for that reason, to this old abandoned altar where her statue was bathed in moonlight, making it easier for Shadowheart to commune near it.

The offering bowl was still there, in front of the statue. Shadowheart knelt before it, took out one of her incense sticks, and lit it. She also lit up the old candles around the statue's base. Then she rested her hands on her thighs, closed her eyes, and concentrated.

"Lady of Silver... Moonmaiden... Selûne..." Shadowheart murmured, the names feeling odd on her tongue. Not so long ago, it would have been blasphemous to even think about communing with the Moonwitch. So much had changed in so little time.

Shadowheart murmured the incantations of the commune spell, drew the symbols on the ground, and spilled some holy water to finish it off. Then she lifted her eyes to gaze at the moonlit statue.

It was palpable, Selûne's presence. Shadowheart felt a gentle breeze caressing her cheeks. She drew in a shaking breath and readied herself.

"Why did you help me? After all I did, all I have done..." Shadowheart said, her voice low and unsure. She hated feeling like this. She was used to commanding, conquering, and bending others to her will—all in the name of Lady Shar. Now she felt like a lost child in the woods again.

Selûne didn't speak directly in her head; her approach seemed to be much more subtle, just like her touch was gentle and light. Shadowheart got images of her parents, of Tav and Nocturne, and of herself.

"They might deserve your help, but I don't. I killed your daughter all those years ago. And as a consequence, your cleric and everyone she was protecting in the Last Light Inn died... And I defiled your statue and have been tirelessly working against you and your followers in Lady Shar's name. I don't deserve your forgiveness." Shadowheart counted all her crimes against Selûne, a goddess she had vehemently hated most of her life, now her savior. Her voice grew weaker, and she had to pause for a moment to gather herself before continuing. "You gave me the power to save Tav and Nocturne, but I feel you still. The connection to you, my divine powers... why are you still helping me when I don't deserve it?"

Shadowheart's mind was suddenly filled with flashbacks and memories from her past. The first one was from a time when she was still a child; her father helped her up to the kitchen counter to watch as her mother made her favorite desert, apple plum pie.

It switched to the memory of her being lost in the forest, approached by the wolf. The memory that had caused her fear of wolves and had been used against her many times, but what was, in fact, just a memory of her father being hurt by the Sharrans and them both being taken away from their life and thrust into a life of misery, decreed by Shar.

In the next one, she was still a child, but now she was in the Sharran cloister. She was frightened, in a dark chamber, a hooded figure approaching her, brandishing a rod.

Another memory of when she was once again questioning the Sharran teachings. This time, instead of the usual whipping, Viconia threatened to drag her to a wolf den. The feeling of absolute terror in the memory was palpable as she watched her younger self getting back in line.

Then all the times she was punished by the pain in her hand each time she did something displeasing to Shar, like fumbling over the words of a prayer, hesitating in carrying out Lady Shar's will, or trying to shy away from interrogating a captive enemy. Even in her hiding place, in the night orchid cave, the pain always found her.

Shadowheart felt a presence, like a comforting hand on her shoulder, Selûne's light touch. She felt a wave of understanding, of empathy wash over her. The moon had moved in the sky, its silver light now illuminating Shadowheart too.

The kindness was too much, it was shaking Shadowheart to her core. For days, her feelings had been like a tidal wave, threatening to burst out through the dam she had tried to build around her mind. The memories of her parents, of her happy childhood before she was abducted, of her brutal training in the cloister, what they made her do to her parents, how she was manipulated and abused, her personality and memories erased for forty years... what she did after in Lady Shar's name as her Chosen, the cruelty she inflicted. Not to mention all the regrets she had regarding Tav.

She had tried to repress the thoughts, feelings, and memories, to keep them in check, to focus on the mission like she had been taught all her life. She curled her hand into a fist and pressed so hard it hurt and closed her eyes, fighting against the building pressure in her chest, the unrelenting pounding in her temples.

But then Shadowheart felt the moonmaiden's presence again, soothing, understanding, encouraging her to allow herself to feel, to really feel all her feelings for the first time in a long time, to let all the repressed emotions out. It came with the promise that Selûne would be there for her.

Shadowheart broke down and started to cry, sobbing and heaving, tears freely falling down her cheeks, leaving black trails from her eyeliner behind.

She couldn't remember the last time she had cried. Really cried.

It was the first time she allowed herself to mourn for her parents. Mourn for the little girl abducted from the woods. Mourn for the person she wasn't anymore and doubt if she ever could be after everything she had been through. Mourn for the things she had done. Mourn for the things she had been forced to do.

The Moonmaiden kept her promise; Shadowheart felt her presence all through it. Like she was embraced by the moonlight itself. It was not her mother's or father's embrace, but it was something akin to it.

"I don't deserve this, not after everything I've done," Shadowheart whispered, but the feeling of the embrace was unwavering and so far from what she had ever experienced with Shar.

It took a good while before her sobbing tempered into quieter tears. Everything was still a storm in her head, but a single thought pierced through all the chaos: The yearning to set things right. "I want to redeem myself, starting with you. How can I make amends?" Shadowheart asked, lifting her gaze back to the statue depicting Selûne.

For the first time during the communion, Selûne's presence wavered, as if uncertain. Then Shadowheart felt a wave of deep sadness, not her own this time, wash over her, and she relived the memory of herself driving the spear into Nightsong. A memory which once was her great triumph, her becoming Lady Shar's Dark Justiciar, but deep down had always embarrassed her, the killing of a defenseless prisoner for her own glory. Now it was even worse, a heavy burden on her shoulders.

Shadowheart didn't shy away from the feeling; she concentrated on it, tried to understand what Selûne wished of her. She saw the Shadowfell again, Shar's domain, where Nightsong's body was left. And then there was the moonlight, illuminating the sky, never able to reach the domain, to reach her daughter, whose soul and body were stuck in that place. It was a deep sorrow mixed into even deeper love.

"I understand," Shadowheart said solemnly. "I will travel back there and take her away from that place." It was a dangerous promise, to wander back into Shadowfell after everything she had done to defy Shar, but she was determined to do it. Her first step on the path to redemption, to try to fix the mistakes of her past.

Shadowheart unsheathed her sword and laid it before the statue. She remained kneeling, her hands resting on her thighs as she took a deep breath.

"I promise I will do my best to set things right. As far as I'm able to. I will be worthy of your forgiveness and kindness someday," Shadowheart said, looking at the statue. A gentle wind caressed her face. She looked down at the sword, the moonlight reflecting off the metal surface. She reached for the sword, and when she touched it, she felt the lingering moonlight on it, of Selûne's power.

Shadowheart felt tired, too exhausted to contemplate that or anything else further. The moon promised to watch over her sleep as she curled in front of the statue and fell into slumber. There were no nightmares this time, just pleasant dreams about her childhood with her parents and the small village they had lived in when she was a child.

Tav woke up early in the morning. It was before the sunrise, and the moon was still a ghostly shape in the sky. Her eyes immediately went to Shadowheart's bedroll, and anxiety gripped her chest when she found it empty.

Nocturne was tending the fire nearby. Tav stood up and walked over to her. "Morning, Nocturne. Do you know where Shadowheart is?" Tav asked, her eyes still darting around the campsite.

"Good morning, Tav," Nocturne replied with a tired smile. "She went to wash herself down by the little river." Nocturne tilted her head in the direction of the river. Seeing Tav hesitate, she added, "You know, I'm sure she would appreciate some company after last night."

Tav nodded and started slowly walking towards the forest and the river, feeling Nocturne's gaze lingering on her. There was no doubt in Tav's mind that Nocturne was aware of her and Shadowheart's complicated situation. Then something else came to her mind from last night, and she stopped.

"What did you do with... with Iris?" Tav asked, turning back to face Nocturne.

Nocturne's expression turned somber. "I buried what remained of her in the forest, a little way from the camp. There was a small clearing where beautiful flowers grew. I thought it would be fitting, considering how she lived," she told Tav softly. Tav swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat, and asked for more specific instructions before stepping into the forest.

It didn't take long for Tav to find the place, just as described, surrounded by wildflowers, with a little soil disturbed where Nocturne had dug. Tav looked at it silently, her heart aching. No one would know Iris was buried here. Did she have friends back where she lived? Would they wonder what had happened to her? Did she have family alive?

With a heavy heart, Tav wanted to leave at least something to mark Iris's last resting place, or at least part of her. Tav had no idea where the rest of her was, and it was something she would rather not think about.

Tav searched around and found a big stone that she, with effort, managed to move near the grave. She took her tool pouch and meticulously carved Iris's name into the stone. She had no idea what her last name was or how old she was, so her first name had to do and the year she died. Lastly, she gathered a little bouquet of Forget-Me-Nots because their light blue color reminded Tav of a beautiful summer day. She laid the flowers in front of the makeshift grave and fell silent and unmoving for a moment.

One minute, Iris had been there, offering help to strangers out of pure kindness, her whole being exuding warmth. The next, she was laid into the cold ground to be forgotten. Loss really seemed to be the only constant in life. In that regard, Tav never had to wonder why Shar appealed to people, especially those who had suffered a lot in life. The promise of oblivion was alluring. And how close she had come to losing Shadowheart fully to it, and losing her own life at the same time.

Tav's thoughts dwelled in heavy waters, on the fragility and brutality of life, both of which she had more experience with than she cared for. For a moment, she was back in that torture chamber with Nightbringer, and she had to take several deep breaths not to spiral into that memory again. It's not like she didn't know what was going on with the Sharrans and what they did to people unfortunate enough to find themselves in their dungeons. She had known Shadowheart practically ruled over those dungeons once she was Mother Superior. How many tortures had she overseen, done with her own hands?

The sides to her lover Tav had chosen to ignore in order to still be able to meet with her and quell the moral compass within herself. She had chosen to separate that part of Shadowheart and cling to the woman Tav thought she could be, the woman who was trapped under that cold Sharran armor in more ways than one.

Had it been fair to either of them? No. Had she been a hypocrite while doing it? Yes. Did she have a lot of baggage that needed sorting out? Again, yes. Was a future together still possible after everything that had taken place? Unknown.

"I'm sorry. You deserved better, like so many poor souls in this world," Tav said, her voice barely above a whisper.

With a heavy heart, Tav left the gravesite behind her and made her way to the river. She paused for a moment to clean herself up before continuing on her way. She didn't have to follow the river far before she found Shadowheart sitting on a tree stump near the water. Tav silently walked closer until she saw the lightest twitch in Shadowheart's head, and she turned swiftly around to look in Tav's direction.

"You can be really sneaky when you want to," Shadowheart said with a small amused smile.

"Mmm, but your senses are still sharp as ever," Tav replied, walking closer. "What do you have there?" she asked, craning her neck to see the book in Shadowheart's hands.

"Oh. This is... the night orchid you gave me all those years ago," Shadowheart replied, turning to face Tav and lowering the book to let Tav see the pressed, dried-up flower between the pages. Tav's heart skipped a beat in the realization Shadowheart had kept it.

"Do you know why I love night orchids?" Shadowheart asked, tracing the dried flower, careful not to destroy it. "In part, because they do not last. They bloom where few ever see them, and in that moment, they're perfect. Then they return to the darkness that birthed them."

"Is this your way of saying I seek love from all the wrong places?" Tav asked, her voice small.

"No, Tav," Shadowheart breathed out. "This is how I saw myself. How I saw love and companionship."

Tav was quiet but then moved closer to sit on the fallen log near Shadowheart.

"I thought I lost you last night, permanently, just when I thought... when I thought we had a..." Tav said but then fell silent again.

Shadowheart turned to look at her, closed the book the night orchid was tucked in, and locked her eyes with Tav's.

"You saved me, didn't you? That's why Nightbringer got that hit in so easily," Tav asked, raising her eyes from the ground to look up at Shadowheart.

"I did, and I would do it again in a heartbeat," Shadowheart said, looking into Tav's eyes unflinchingly.

"Why did you do it? You could have died..." Tav asked, her voice barely above a whisper, and Shadowheart had to strain to hear her words.

"And if I didn't, you could have died. I can't..." The words died on Shadowheart's lips as she turned her gaze away from Tav. Tav could see and feel the familiar walls rising around her, around Shadowheart's heart. It was like being vulnerable was poisonous to the ex-Sharran. Tav felt her shoulders slump in defeat, the familiar fear of losing her gripping her heart again.

"It is so hard to hold onto anything in this life. It is like Withers once said to me, reminding me how it's all just dust and bones in the end," Tav murmured, mostly to herself, lost for a moment in the dark thoughts from earlier.

Shadowheart turned to look at Tav with a concerned expression. "I don't think I remember hearing you ever sound so... defeated."

"I just came back from the makeshift gravesite Nocturne made for Iris... or her head," Tav said, her voice lacking the usual emotion it had, her gaze distant.

"I see..." Shadowheart observed Tav and moved to sit beside her on the log. Shadowheart took Tav's hand in hers.

Tav craved the warmth of her hand, the warmth of her, she craved a lot of things with her. But then there was the part of her heart which feared it was already too late, that they had passed their chance, that there was too much baggage between them.

"I... we've been through so much. So many bad things have happened, and still happen, and who knows when we'll be safe. We might never be again and..." Tav rambled on, her breathing getting quicker, her hand feeling more clammy in Shadowheart's.

"Tav, breathe. Take it easy, breathe with me," Shadowheart said, her heart aching for Tav. Shadowheart hesitated for a moment, her first instinct was to shy away from showing genuine affection or offering comfort. It was ingrained deep in her as weakness, something to be exploited by others in her sect. She pushed past the feeling and pulled Tav into her arms.

Surprised, Tav returned the hug and held on to Shadowheart, unshed tears burning in her eyes. The way Tav clung to her as Shadowheart held her close, quietly sobbing against her shoulder, made Shadowheart's walls come down.

"There is nothing standing in your way anymore if it's something you both want." Nocturne's words from last night played in her head.

"You're not alone Tav. Whatever comes, we'll face it together. We'll find a way, just like we always did when we faced the Absolute together." Shadowheart said and she was surprised how determined her own voice sounded.

Tav's breathing began to calm down as she listened Shadowheart talking. The comforting words were balm to her worn out nerves. "You really mean that?" Tav asked, her voice muffled against Shadowheart's shoulder.

"I do," Shadowheart reassured her and felt Tav relaxing in her arms. As they sat there, embracing each other, the first rays of sun began to break over the horizon, casting a gentle glow on the river and on them.

After holding Tav close for a while, Shadowheart's thoughts returned to the battle with Nightbringer and to Tav's recklessness during it. "Tav, we do need to be more careful. The wisest course of action last night would have been to escape, not engage. We need to choose our battles wisely," Shadowheart said, trying to tone down the assertive Mother Superior side of her voice and soften what she was saying to Tav.

"I know, I just..." Tav started to say but was unable to continue.

"Why were you so reckless?" Shadowheart pushed, clearly worried that if she didn't get to the bottom of this, Tav would be prone to repeat it.

"I... it's complicated," Tav said, struggling to explain. "I was afraid of losing you after the conversation we had, and I guess I wanted to escape that feeling. Some bloodlust does wonders to chase away other feelings or thoughts," Tav said, feeling embarrassed. To her surprise, the look on Shadowheart's face was quite understanding.

"I can't bear the thought of losing you either. I upheaved my whole life so I wouldn't have to lose you," Shadowheart murmured, pressing her head against Tav's, arms still wrapped around her. Tav closed her eyes, reveling in this warmth Shadowheart had rarely offered her.

Tav pulled back from the hug, her eyes searching Shadowheart's, ever hopeful despite everything. She just couldn't let go of her; Shadowheart was too important. They could die any day, and she would gladly take any little time she could have with her despite that fear.

Shar didn't understand love at all. You loved despite the fear of pain and loss; it was brave, it made life worth living.

"Part of me was always unable to let go of everything Shar demanded of me. It was me who pressed this flower that was supposed to be in bloom for just one night and be gone in the darkness, and be perfect for it. It was me who pressed it and dried it, to preserve it forever," Shadowheart's voice was barely above a whisper as her fingers traced the cover of the book. "It was just one of the many lies I told myself."

Tav listened to her, hanging to every word, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. There was a tentative hope blossoming in her chest.

"I was wrong for refusing to talk and insisting we should focus on the mission. We could lose each other at any moment; the danger might never be over, and there will never be a perfect moment to talk," Shadowheart told her. "It was more of my attempt to shield myself from having to feel my emotions, from having to... break down," she confessed.

Tav's heart both ached and was filled with joy hearing Shadowheart finally admitting these things. She took Shadowheart's hand where the old wound was still visible, but dormant at the moment, and gently cradled it with hers.

"I'm sorry, Tav. I'm willing to talk now, if you still want to," Shadowheart offered, and Tav could swear she saw tears glistening in the corners of her eyes.

"I do. I want nothing more. I-" Tav started to say, reaching to cup Shadowheart's cheek with her hand, but was interrupted by Nocturne shouting in the distance.

They both looked at each other and then immediately rushed back towards the camp and were greeted by the sight of Nocturne holding up and aiming her hand crossbow at Gale, who had his hands up and an awkward, apologetic expression on his face.

"Shadowheart, this man appeared out of thin air, literally, claiming to know you," Nocturne hissed from between her teeth, her whole body tensed and ready for action.

"Nocturne, ease up. That's Gale, the wizard friend we were going to meet in Waterdeep," Shadowheart explained, stepping closer. "When I woke up this morning, I realized I could just contact him magically."

"That's right, Gale of Waterdeep, at your service," Gale declared and gave a small nod of his head. "And teleportation is just one of the tricks I have up my sleeve," he continued with a self-satisfied little smile.

"Oh, well, good thing then I didn't put an arrow through his eye," Nocturne deadpanned, seemingly unimpressed by the wizard.

"Ah, much appreciated, I assure you," Gale said with an awkward chuckle.

"I'm glad to see you, Gale," Tav said and moved to hug him. She felt irritated that her important conversation with Shadowheart got interrupted, but she was glad to see their old friend, and hopeful of getting somewhere safer.

"Likewise, Tav. It has been a while. I hope you have been well," Gale said once they pulled apart. "Though judging by the look on all of your faces, I am inclined to say that is not the case. Well, you can tell me all about it over a cup of tea in my tower in Waterdeep. How does that sound?"

"Splendid," Tav replied, already thinking about giving some scritches and cuddles to Tara — should she allow it.

"Thank you, Gale, for hearing me out and arriving posthaste," Shadowheart said with sincerity in her voice. She really couldn't hope for much from her former companions after the path she had taken.

"Of course, anything for my old friends, and new ones as well," Gale said. "Now, you might want to start packing up and I shall start the preparations for another teleportation."

They left Gale drawing the symbols of the spell on the ground while they started to break down the camp and gather their belongings. Just when they were about done and Nocturne went to tend to the horses, Tav nudged Shadowheart towards the forest. Tav took her to Iris' grave. Shadowheart stood over it, contemplating another regret in her life. She had no idea how to set this one right, so for now, she settled on giving a little prayer, her first since the connection with Selûne.

Shadowheart wasn't sure how many of the things she had done could be set right, but she was determined to try. It gave her purpose, it drove her to move forward and keep fighting—besides the need to keep Tav and Nocturne safe. They would also need to be careful about who they entangled in their messy situation in the future. Her thoughts drifted to their wizard friend, but he at least was fully capable of defending himself, powerful in his own right.

When they got back, the teleportation portal was soon opened. They guided the horses through and stepped one by one into it. Shadowheart stopped to give one last look at their former campsite where the fight had taken place. The past was filled with regrets, the future was uncertain, but at least in the present she had her friends and Tav.

She had the blasphemous thing called hope on her side now.

Shadowheart stepped into the portal and was gone in the blink of an eye.

Chapter Text

They appeared out of thin air one by one, landing outside the tower on Gale's property in Waterdeep. The hustle and bustle of the city could be heard and felt all around them, even from behind the high walls that bordered the property. 

Nocturne looked around, eyes wide, while Shadowheart was more curious about Gale's tower, having never visited him before. Everything was familiar to Tav, who had visited him many times, but even she was a bit shaken to be suddenly back in civilization after everything they had been through.

After the horses were hitched and fed, Gale guided them towards his tower, made of large chunks of stone reaching for the skies, seemingly crooked and leaning a bit to one side. Shadowheart looked at the crooked thing sceptically, it seemed like it was defying gravity.

"I assure you, the whole thing is quite stable—it's magical, after all," Gale said after noticing the look on Shadowheart's face.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Gale announced, guiding them inside the tower and making a deep bow as they entered one by one.

"Humble isn't a word I would use, Gale," Shadowheart commented as she looked around at the many paintings and rich tapestries adorning the walls, the expensive-looking rugs laid out on every floor, and all the trinkets on small, fancily carved tables littered in every corner and nook. The insides of the tower were a stark contrast to how it looked outside.

"Ahem, right, well it's just a saying. And I can hardly be blamed for wanting some comfort after everything," Gale said and chuckled awkwardly. "Well, anyway, I want you to feel at home here," he continued and started to give them a small tour of the place.

"Now, because this tower is magical, I'm able to change pretty much everything about it, so I can't guarantee it will look like this the next time you visit," he explained to them.

"I can already see you've made a few changes since the last time I visited," Tav observed.

"You're as perceptive as ever, my dear friend," Gale said, smiling in a way that told them all he was proud of himself. "Now, is it right to assume you'll be staying for the night?"

Shadowheart, Nocturne, and Tav looked at each other.

"Yes, it is. We have much to discuss and plans to make," Shadowheart answered for the group.

"It is always a pleasure to host old friends, and new ones as well," Gale replied. "I shall prepare some guest rooms, one for Lady Nocturne over there and..." Gale paused, looking between Shadowheart and Tav, "And, well, this is a bit awkward, are you two... you know?" he tried to ask, clearly as confused about their relationship status as they themselves were.

"Gale..." Shadowheart groaned. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a deep sigh.

"Now, I only asked because I need to know if I should prepare one room or two," Gale said, raising his hands placatingly.

"One room," Tav said in a clear and firm voice.

Shadowheart looked at Tav and couldn't help feeling a little surprised by Tav's assertative answer, but she nodded along.

"Splendid," Gale said, clapping his hands together. "Your rooms are here and here," he added, pointing to the doors. "But now, I think it's time for some tea. I'm sure you all need a bit of rest and I am eager to hear what this is all about."

With that, Gale guided them to a comfortable-looking living room with a coffee table, plenty of chaise lounges and armchairs around it, and one pale-looking man lounging in one of the chairs, sipping wine from a goblet. He wore stylish clothing, and not a single white hair was out of place on his head.

"Oh my, Gale, you weren’t lying! It was our favorite Sharran who contacted you," Astarion said, standing up. "And our dear old leader! And... the girl from that Sharran place?" He continued, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to remember who Nocturne was.

"Astarion!" Tav almost squealed. "I haven’t seen you in ages! Can I hug you?" Tav asked, keeping a distance to let Astarion make up his mind.

Astarion hesitated for a moment, but then a small smile adorned his lips, and he stood up, pulling Tav into a brief hug.

"Nice to see you too, dear," he said, and guided Tav to sit on the chaise with him.

"I’m surprised to see you here, Astarion," Shadowheart commented. "Though from what I’ve gathered, there’s not a singular place you’re bound to."

"Keeping tabs on me? I’m flattered," Astarion said, giving her a lopsided smile.

"Knowing things was a vital part of what I did," Shadowheart said, shrugging her shoulders.

Astarion cocked his head, noticing the past tense Shadowheart used, but didn’t comment further.

"This man has been here for weeks, leeching off my wine stock. I swear he’s drinking me out of house and home," Gale said, his tone taking a dramatic flair as he took a seat as well.

Astarion chuckled. "Now, now, Gale, you’re exaggerating. I’ve just had a little taste here and there."

"Half of my wine cellar is gone," Gale muttered, giving him a side glare.

"Oh dear," Astarion murmured, leaning back on the chaise. "It seems I’m running out of the hospitality of our wizard friend here."

"So what brings you to Waterdeep, Astarion?" Tav asked.

"Like Shadowheart pointed out, I’m a traveling, adventuring type of man now, and this time it was Waterdeep I fancied seeing," Astarion said, but Tav felt there was more to it. She didn’t have time to press the matter further when they suddenly heard scratching.

"Ah, that must be Tara!" Gale exclaimed and hurried to the window to open the shutters to let the tressym in.

"Ah, careful with the sunlight!" Astarion exclaimed and then sighed in relief as Gale closed the shutters again.

"My, my, what do we have here," Tara said as she flew to one of the armchairs. "Quite a little reunion you have here, Mr. Dekarios."

"Indeed, Tara, we have some additional guests. You remember Tav and Shadowheart, and this here is Shadowheart’s friend Nocturne."

"N-Nice to meet you," Nocturne said, giving a little wave to Tara, visibly shaken by the sudden arrival of flying and talking cat-like creature.

"Good to see you all," Tara said, licking her paw and then stretching her back and flapping her wings a few times before settling down. "Now, Mr. Dekarios, a meeting of old friends demands a celebration, does it not?" Tara stated, looking at Gale questioningly.

"I suppose it does," Gale agreed.

"Well then, what are you waiting for? Get out our best cheeses and wines, and add a dash of whiskey to my milk," Tara instructed.

"The cat speaks and the cat is going to have spirits? Spirits are not safe to consume for cats," Nocturne whispered to Shadowheart, who gave her a what-can-you-do look.

"I am not a cat, I am a tressym," Tara said, huffing. "Now, Mr. Dekarios, what are you waiting for? Another world-ending event?"

"Of course not, Tara. Cheese, wine, and a dash of whiskey coming right up!" he said and started to set up everything.

"I wish he was as attentive when I ask for wine and cheese," Astarion said, sighing, but Tav could see a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

"I think we’re all dying to know why you ladies are here. Shouldn't Mother Superior at least be guiding her flock back in Baldur's Gate?" Astarion asked as Gale continued setting food and drinks on the coffee table.

Shadowheart glanced at Tav and Nocturne before beginning to recount the events of the last few days.

"Blimey!" Gale uttered once Shadowheart concluded the tale.

"Is that how you got that silvery streak of hair? Here I was thinking you were just getting old," Astarion commented.

Shadowheart's eye twitched at his remark. "Indeed, I got it when Shar marked me as her enemy, but you should know that even if my whole head turned this color, I would never look as ancient as your ugly old mug," she continued with a smirk.

Astarion scoffed and then smirked back. "As sassy as ever, I see. So you truly are not a Sharran anymore?" Astarion asked Shadowheart.

Shadowheart shook her head. "Both Nocturne and I have targets on our backs now. Shar is a petty goddess with a long memory, and she still... has my parents' souls trapped," Shadowheart said, her voice growing quieter, more serious.

"For what it’s worth, I am sorry for what you've been through, Shadowheart. I know it's not easy to break free from one's chains," Astarion said, a look of sincerity on his face.

"Thank you, Astarion," Shadowheart murmured, looking at the old mark on her hand.

"You too, Tav. Sounds like you went through a lot as well," Astarion continued.

Tav nodded, playing with the hem of her shirt.

"Tav, would you mind if I took a look at the mark, the brand the Sharrans left on you?" Gale asked, moving closer to Tav.

"Okay," Tav said, taking a deep breath and then unbuttoning her shirt a bit, revealing the mark that still hadn’t completely healed, though it looked better now than it had before.

Shadowheart raised her head to look at the mark again and then shifted her gaze away, looking troubled.

"I'm going to try to see if there is something magical about it," Gale explained, casting a spell. His eyes glowed with magical energy for a moment as he concentrated on the mark. His eyebrows furrowed as the spell waned.

"What is it, Gale?" Shadowheart asked, her heart starting to beat faster.

"Well, there’s magic in it, but I do not recognize it, and that worries me," Gale said.

Tav rebuttoned her shirt, her gaze meeting Shadowheart's and lingering there for a moment before looking back at Gale.

"What does it mean, Gale?" Tav asked.

"I'm not sure. I need to consult my colleagues and do some research in the library." Gale said, rubbing his chin.

"That's probably going to take some time?" Tav asked.

"Indeed, but you are welcome to stay here in the meantime," Gale offered, "It's safe here, this tower is infiltration proof, scrying proof, you name it."

Shadowheart cleared her throat. "Thank you, Gale. You have no idea how much it means to us that you’ll look into this. But in the meantime, I need to make amends for my past. And I have promised the Moonmaiden that I will retrieve her daughter's body from the Shadowfell," she said.

The room went silent, every pair of eyes focused on Shadowheart. The only sound was Tara lapping up her whiskey-laden milk from the deep plate Gale had set up for her.

"Moonmaiden? You mean to say you have promised this to the goddess Selûne?" Gale asked, breaking the silence.

"Going back to the Shadowfell? Are you out of your mind, Shadowheart?!" Astarion exclaimed.

"Our former mistress won’t take kindly to that," Nocturne said quietly.

"You're not going anywhere alone, especially not there," Tav said firmly.

Shadowheart ignored everyone else and turned her attention to Tav. "I know you are worried about me, but this is something I need to do. Selûne saved all of our lives when she granted me back my clerical powers. I owe her for that, and I need to make right how I wronged her all those years ago by killing her daughter in the name of Shar," Shadowheart said, her expression serious, and Tav knew there was no room for argument.

Tav took a deep breath, contemplating things for a moment. She knew deep down that Shadowheart was right, and she respected her willingness to try to set things right. She gathered herself up, her breathing evening out.

"Then I'm coming with you," Tav said finally. "I want to help you."

"I will join you as well. There is no way I will let you walk into Shar's domain alone, my friend," Nocturne said.

"I suppose I have nothing better to do either," Astarion said, swirling the wine in his goblet, but Tav could see the genuine worry behind his nonchalant facade.

"I can't put any of you in danger," Shadowheart tried to protest.

"You will not make it out alive alone. We are coming with you," Tav said with such finality in her tone of voice that for a moment, everyone in the room could get a little glimpse of their former leader in her. It drew small smiles on all of their faces.

"Fine then, we'll rest tonight and leave first thing tomorrow," Shadowheart relented. She was worried about everyone, but she would have been lying if she said she didn't feel relieved that the others would be coming with her. "I presume you can teleport us somewhere in the vicinity?" Shadowheart asked Gale.

"Yes, I shall provide you a ride once again, and meanwhile, I shall delve into the matter of this branding," Gale said nodding.

"Well, that's settled then. Now it's time to celebrate as the cat wanted," Astarion said, raising his wine goblet and smiling so wide his fangs showed.

"I am not a cat, I am a tressym!" came the huffy response, and that finally broke the tense atmosphere in the room, prompting everyone to burst into laughter.

Chuckling, Shadowheart glanced at Tav and saw her staring at her. Their eyes locked, with so many unspoken things left unsaid between them.

Soon, everyone was indulging in the wine, cheese, and fresh bread on offer, conversation flowing easily among them, and it didn’t feel like they had been apart for long at all.

Tav became engaged in a lively debate with Gale, but her concentration faltered as her gaze kept wandering to Shadowheart, who was sitting across from her in a relaxed posture. Shadowheart raised an eyebrow at Tav, a familiar smirk playing on her lips. Instantly, Tav’s breath hitched in response, and she had to look away before her whole face flushed. Tav could feel Shadowheart’s eyes on her and knew she was satisfied with how easily she had made Tav flustered.

The day soon began turning into evening as everyone got lost in each other’s company, sharing tales of their deeds and misdeeds from the years they had been apart. A slightly drunk Tara even agreed to sit on Tav’s lap, purring as she received scritches from an eager Tav.

Shadowheart looked at them with a small smile. Her heart ached a bit, imagining what it would be like to have a normal house, a normal life, and to see Tav sitting on their normal couch, petting a kitten.

A particularly debauched story Astarion was telling pulled Shadowheart out of her reverie, and she refocused on the moment and her old friends. She felt warmth in her chest as she looked at them, having fun like in the good old times around the campfire. 

Of course, not all of them were here at the moment, but this felt like a little piece of the past that she had missed dearly, even if she couldn’t have admitted it before. But she could now, and she enjoyed every moment of their evening together, stealing glances at Tav whenever she could, feeling the tension between them growing.

Tav felt like she sank deeper into the chaise. Her gaze found Shadowheart’s again, and the laughter and chatter in the room became a distant hum. Shadowheart shifted slightly in her seat, and Tav watched as her fingers brushed against the stem of the wine goblet while her eyes never left Tav’s. Tav’s heart skipped a beat, and she couldn’t look away, a faint warmth creeping up her neck and sending a shiver down her spine.

Their silent exchange went unnoticed by the others deep in conversation, oblivious to the charged, silent connection happening between Tav and Shadowheart. Tav’s breathing quickened at the unspoken promise she saw in Shadowheart’s eyes, hovering in the air between them.

When the evening turned into night, everyone started to leave for their respective resting places reluctantly, wishing each other goodnight. Shadowheart could see so many pairs of bright eyes, and she knew she wasn't the only one invigorated by their reunion. 

Shadowheart and Tav walked side by side to their room, their fingers brushing against each other. It felt like a jolt of electricity going through Shadowheart's body, and she felt the old yearning for Tav again, but there was something new mixed into it this time.

Once the door behind them closed and locked, they stared at each other. The silence stretched and dragged on, the tension palpable in the air. Neither was sure who moved first, but they came together in a clash of lips, teeth, and tongue.

It started out raw, almost primal, as it so often did between them when they hadn’t seen each other in a long time. They both always knew back then that they didn’t have much time together, and they intended to make the most of it.

Shadowheart always had the urge to take control of their encounters, to dominate both the situation and Tav through them. When Shadowheart was still Mother Superior, she couldn’t relinquish even an inch of that control, not even with her lover, who was one of the few people she trusted back then.

Shadowheart pressed Tav against the stone wall of the tower and kissed her hard. Tav tangled her fingers into her hair and pulled her closer. Shadowheart let out a low growl and bit Tav’s lower lip, making her gasp in pain and pleasure. Shadowheart pulled back, her eyes darkened with arousal mixed with deep longing—a sight all too familiar to Tav, yet it still left her breathless.

Tav gasped as Shadowheart pushed her harder against the wall, lifting one of Tav’s legs to her waist and kissing her again. Tav was breathless within moments, the hard steel of Shadowheart’s armor pinning her between it and the stonework, equally cold and unyielding.

It felt as though Tav couldn’t move an inch, the steel armor suffocating her as she had to be mindful of all the pointy and sharp bits of the Sharran armor’s decorative metalwork.

Suddenly, Shadowheart turned her over and pressed her against the wall, Tav’s face now against the cold stonework. Shadowheart’s lips found Tav’s neck, first teasing with little kisses, then nibbling harder, leaving marks. The sensation of that, combined with the feeling of being almost crushed between the wall and Shadowheart’s unyielding armor, overwhelmed Tav.

“Wait, wait,” Tav finally managed to gasp, pushing a confused Shadowheart away from her.

“Too soon?” Shadowheart asked, the hunger in her gaze replaced with uncertainty as she stepped back, giving Tav some space and a worried look.

"No, it's not that," Tav started to say, taking a few deep breaths. "Well, maybe it's that too—our conversation earlier in the morning got cut short after all. But I stopped you because your armor was suffocating me."

"Ah, I'm sorry I got carried away—in more ways than one," Shadowheart said, looking awkward. "Are you hurt?" she asked, guiding Tav to sit with her at the edge of the bed. Her hand felt surprisingly soft and warm against Tav's.

"No, it's fine," Tav murmured, looking down at their joined hands.

Shadowheart's gaze softened. "Maybe we should take things slower and talk?" she suggested.

Tav raised her head to look her in the eye, took a deep breath, and nodded.

"Maybe we should start over. Hello, nice to meet you, I'm Shadowheart," Shadowheart said, smiling and extending her hand in a playful manner. But her smile faltered when she saw the look on Tav's face.

"All these years, everything that has happened between us, and you don't even know my name," Tav said with a sigh.

"What do you mean? Your name isn’t Tav?" Shadowheart asked, her brow furrowing as she let her hand drop into her lap.

"It's the name I've been using ever since I left home, so it is my name—the name I chose for myself and wanted to use. But it’s not my whole name," Tav explained, taking a deep breath. "My birth name is Taviel. I’m from the human noble family of Thornwoods," she continued.

Shadowheart stared at her, mouth slightly agape for a moment. "You’re a... noble?" she asked.

"A disgraced one, but yes. Nice to make your acquaintance, my lady," Tav said with a weary little smile, giving her a bow.

"Nice to meet you, Lady Thornwood. My name is Jenevelle Hallowleaf, and I’m just a regular old commoner," Shadowheart said, smiling as she kissed the palm of Tav's hand, making her blush a little.

"I think I prefer using Tav still," Tav said, laughing.

"And I prefer Shadowheart—it still suits me, I think," Shadowheart said, turning her head in contemplation before looking back at Tav. "I mean, you can’t cast a shadow without some light."

"I agree, Shadowheart," Tav said, giving her an empathetic smile.

There were many questions whirling around Shadowheart’s mind after Tav’s reveal, but she settled on one: "Why didn’t you tell me sooner about your family?"

"I... the situation with my family is delicate and complicated, and by the time I was comfortable enough to tell you, you had already given yourself fully to Lady Shar," Tav explained. "And while I was fine putting myself at risk by continuing to associate with you, I couldn’t do the same with my family."

"I understand," Shadowheart said, feeling a pang of guilt and pain in her chest, but she couldn’t blame Tav. She knew it was better she hadn't known about Tav’s family—that kind of information was something Shar might have used, and Shadowheart didn’t even want to think about what she might have been ordered to do. She saw in Tav’s eyes that Tav was thinking the same thing.

"I know there are a lot of things between us, a lot of things that have happened," Shadowheart said, taking Tav’s hand in her own, "but I wish we could try to begin anew." She continued, looking into Tav’s eyes.

"Are you saying what I’m hoping you’re saying?" Tav asked.

"I know there’s still a lot of things we need to discuss, and there’s no way we can even discuss it all in one sitting, but—" Shadowheart paused, searching for the right words. "I’ve never been able to choose my own destiny, to write my own future. I’d like to do that—with you," she said with a hopeful gaze, and there was a vulnerability in her eyes that Tav hadn’t seen in a long time.

"I would love nothing more, Shadowheart," Tav said, leaning in to kiss her.

The kiss was sweet, soft, and lingering—quite the opposite of the hungry kiss from earlier. When they pulled apart, they both gazed at each other with soft expressions.

"I think it’s time for me to get out of this armor," Shadowheart said, standing up, Tav’s eyes following her every move.

Shadowheart removed her sash and folded it neatly, setting it aside. She started to undo the leather straps of her armor one by one. Tav stepped in closer, assisting her in places that were hard for Shadowheart to reach and helping her put the armor aside, piece by piece.

Tav's breathing quickened as more and more of the cold steel was shed from her. When Tav helped her out of her mail shirt, Shadowheart stood before her in her purple tunic and pants. She already felt much warmer and looked less intimidating in Tav's mind.

Shadowheart turned her attention from the armor back to Tav and their eyes locked. She took a step forward, closing the distance between them and pulled Tav against her. 

"Isn't that better? Much softer," She murmured against Tav's lips, brushing against them with her own and Tav wasn't sure if she was talking about the armor anymore. All other thoughts fled Tav's mind as she pressed her lips against Shadowheart's who responded eagerly.

Shadowheart's hands came to rest on Tav's hips and she pulled her closer to her, their breasts pressing against each other. Tav only wore a thin shirt and gasped at the sensation. She eagerly reciprocated by putting her hand behind Shadowheart's neck and moaning into her mouth as they tongues did the old dance with new flavor.

Firm but gentle hands started to unbutton Tav's shirt, one by one, almost agonizingly slow and Tav had to hold herself back to not just rip her own shirt open and rush this moment of reconnecting with Shadowheart. 

Once Shadowheart dealt with the last button, she opened the shirt, her eyes roaming over Tav's bare chest.

"You naughty thing, you aren't wearing anything under your shirt," Shadowheart remarked, her lips pulling into a grin.

"I didn't have time in the morning," Tav tried to explain, blushing.

"Oh, I wasn't complaining, on the contrary," Shadowheart murmured and her fingers traced a path over Tav's breasts, making her breath hitch.

With one swift movement, Shadowheart slid the shirt off Tav and tossed it aside, leaving Tav's torso bare before her hungry eyes.

"I think we need to level the playing ground here," Tav said lowly and started to remove Shadowheart's shirt before she could complain.

Shadowheart watched Tav work with a lopsided smile, taking satisfaction in the way Tav was so focused on the task, faint blush covering her cheeks which turned darker as more and more of Shadowheart's skin was exposed. She helped Tav with the final part and then they both were bare chested.

The old yearning called for Shadowheart again, that old calling to take the lead, take control. While it was part of who she had been, still was and probably always would be, it wasn't all of her. There was a part of her that yearned for softness, for letting go of that control even if for a little while and for the security that kind of trust brought with it. 

So this time she did her best to wait for Tav to catch up, to see what kind of pace she would like to move with, to truly share this moment with her.

Tav spent so much time just staring at her bare breasts, that she finally softly asked "Would you like to touch them?" to which Tav eagerly nodded and tentatively extended her hand. 

Shadowheart marveled how soft and light Tav's touch was. Tav explored every inch of her breasts before she even brushed against Shadowheart's nipple and elicited the first moan.

It felt like Tav was doing it all the first time, relearning her body. It was odd in a way, they had had sex countless of times before after all. But then again these were the hesitant first steps towards a new life for both of them, so in a way it felt like a first time all over again.

By the time Tav's lips wrapped around Shadowheart's nipple, she was already so worked up she felt her arousal dampening her undergarments. Her breathing was quickened, her fingers entangling in Tav's hair as she pressed her head harder against her chest, moans escaping her lips as Tav sucked and nibbled at her sensitive flesh.

That was enough for Shadowheart and she started to guide Tav towards the bed. They both landed on it with a soft thud, Tav ending up on top of Shadowheart. She wasted no time straddling Shadowheart's hips and resuming the work on Shadowheart's nipples. 

Shadowheart felt a momentary unease in the position and had the urge to push Tav off or flip her beneath her, but she resisted it and tried to relax, reminding herself that she trusted Tav more than even Nocturne.

Tav stopped her ministrations, noticing the change in Shadowheart, how her body tensed up beneath her.

“Is everything okay?” Tav asked softly, her face framed by her dark brown locks, her eyebrows furrowed in the oh-so-familiar Tav-is-worried look that Shadowheart had come to know and love.

“You know me, it’s hard for me not to take the lead, not to be in control,” Shadowheart said, chuckling, embarrassed.

“I know. We can slow down or change things up if you need,” Tav said, her voice warm and full of empathy. “But I hope you know you’re always safe with me.”

Shadowheart felt a lump in her throat. She wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to these kinds of feelings. Part of her wanted to flee, to return to the darkness where it was lonely, but she didn’t feel vulnerable in this way. But a bigger part of her knew that time was over; it was time for her to start living in the light, no matter how searing it felt sometimes.

"Let's keep going, I want to try," Shadowheart said with conviction. Tav gave her an understanding smile and her lips resumed her work.

Shadowheart felt Tav's hands worshipping every inch of her body, her touch gentle and reverent. Slowly, little by little she relaxed into it, her anxiety melting away as the pleasure Tav gave her took over her mind and body. By the time she felt Tav's hand unbuttoning her pants, she was ready for anything Tav's was planning to do. 

Tav hummed in satisfaction after she threw Shadowheart's pants aside and saw just how aroused her touch had made Shadowheart. Tav pulled off her undergarments as well and gently spread her legs, her gaze devouring every part of Shadowheart, lingering on every detail of the most private parts of her lover.

"Tav, if you don't get on it soon, I might shove you in there," Shadowheart warned her, a playful smile adorning her lips.

"I'm sorry. You're just so beautiful that I have to take a moment to appreciate every inch of you," Tav said and tried to sound seductive but it only earned an eyeroll from Shadowheart. 

"Fine, fine! Gods, you're so impatient," Tav chuckled and started to shower kisses to Shadowheart's inner thighs, getting closer and closer to her core.

Shadowheart watched her through half-lidded eyes darkened with desire, her breathing shallow as she anticipated the moment Tav's lips would finally touch her and when it came, her eyes closed and and a choked moan escaped her lips. She let her head fall back on her pillow as Tav started to feast on her, Tav's tongue exploring her folds thoroughly before it found her sensitive bundle of nerves and started the sweet torment on that while her fingers slipped inside Shadowheart's slick channel.

"Tav!" Shadowheart cried out at the double sensation. Her moans became more frequent as Tav started to slide her fingers in and out of her in a steady pace while Tav's tongue licked and played with her swollen clit. 

Shadowheart felt herself crashing towards an orgasm hard and fast, she tried to fight it, to savor the moment, but it was a lost game once she felt Tav's lips around her clit, sucking and nibbling while Tav's fingers curled inside, finding that one sweet spot. 

She came screaming Tav's name, her whole body convulsing and writhing under Tav's mouth and fingers. Shadowheart's mind blanked for a moment and she didn't notice her thighs had captured Tav's head but despite it Tav did her best to ease her down from the high.

"I take it that was good?" Tav asked with a small, yet smug, smile after Shadowheart released her head.

"Oh yes, it was good. You can add that to your résumé right after 'Hero of Baldur's Gate,' or maybe you should put it before," Shadowheart joked, earning a chuckle from Tav.

Tav scooted up next to Shadowheart, resting her head on her chest, listening to Shadowheart's thundering heartbeat that was just starting to calm down.

"Thank you, Tav, that was actually amazing," Shadowheart said after a while. "I barely remember the last time I've been able to let go like that."

"You're most welcome," Tav said while playing with the shorter wisps of hair hanging over Shadowheart's forehead that had gotten unruly in their lovemaking. She absorbed her words, feeling a warmth in her chest, the kind she hasn't felt in a long time.

"I'm truly happy I was able to provide that for you," Tav said sincerely, her hand pausing before moving to Shadowheart's chin, gently turning her to look into her eyes.

Light brown eyes locked with hazel green ones. It felt like time stood still, allowing them to have this moment of connection, however fleeting it might end up being—as it always was.

"I've been a fool for such a long time," Shadowheart finally said, breaking the silence. 

Before Tav had a chance to respond, Shadowheart's lips were against hers, her tongue sliding into Tav's mouth with renewed vigor. Tav closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation, getting lost in how Shadowheart felt, tasted, and smelled.

Tav felt the bed shift as Shadowheart's weight settled on top of her in a familiar and comforting manner—more comforting than it had ever been. Shadowheart kissed Tav until her head was spinning from the lack of oxygen. Before leaving Tav's soft lips, she gently nibbled them and then peppered kisses along Tav's jawline until she finally reached her throat, finding that one particularly sensitive spot that made Tav's back arch off the bed.

Once Shadowheart reached Tav's breasts, it didn't take long for her skilled fingers and mouth to leave Tav gasping and desperate for release. She knew Tav's body so well, she knew when and where to squeeze, to drive her mad with want and leave her craving for more.

Shadowheart smiled satisfied as she felt Tav's hands unbuttoning her own pants and trying to get them off. 

"And here you were earlier calling me impatient and now look at you poor thing," she cooed at Tav, teasing her.

"You know exactly what you're doing to me woman, you're driving me to madness," Tav said, out of breath, her whole body flushed.

"Don't worry, I don't plan on teasing you much—at least this time." Shadowheart responded playfully and helped Tav out of her pants and undergarments.

Shadowheart spread Tav's legs and licked her lips involuntarily at the sight. Tav didn't have time to feel embarrassed or self-conscious before Shadowheart buried her face between Tav's legs, her tongue doing long licks along Tav's folds. Tav tensed and then relaxed in to the feeling, her fingers softly entangling with Shadowheart's hair as she in turn feasted on her. 

Suddenly Shadowheart stopped and looked at her with a curious expression. 

"As delicious as always," Shadowheart said and swiped her chin before changing her position so that she was was lying next to her. 

"But I think this time I want to look you in the eyes as you come undone," she whispered and Tav gasped as she felt her fingers take the place of her mouth.

It didn't take long for Tav to become lost in the sensations and pleasure Shadowheart's dexterious fingers provided to her. Shadowheart slid two fingers gently inside Tav, making her gasp softly while her thumb made sure Tav's clit was receiving the attention it deserved. 

They had had sex multiple times and multiple ways, but Tav couldn't remember a time she felt this connected to Shadowheart or when she was this careful and gentle save for the time when Tav had been still been injured.

Tav gave her full focus to Shadowheart, what she was doing, the pleasure she was giving her with each thrust and flick of her fingers. Tav got lost into Shadowheart's eyes, the plethora of emotions she saw reflected back to her. 

Shadowheart wanted to savor every slick thrust inside Tav, ever flick of her thumb over her clit, every gasp and moan she elicited from Tav's lips. 

Shadowheart tried to press into memory every detail, how the burning candle lit the room in a soft glow, making shadows dance on the walls. How the soft glow illuminated Tav's face, crunched in concentration, tempered with pleasure etched on her features. 

How Tav's long hair she had let loose had gotten disheveled as the night went on and the way few drops of sweat ran down her temple. 

And all those sweet moans and gasps that filled the room, summoned by every movement of her fingers and thumb. 

If Shadowheart had had the ability to stop time, she would have, but she prolonged it as long as she could, keeping Tav on the edge until her breathing shallowed, her moans and whimpers desperate. Then Shadowheart pushed her over with harder and faster moves and relished the sight of Tav unraveling before her eyes, how Tav surrendered to the pleasure and reached pure bliss even if it was for one fleeting moment.

Shadowheart's eyes never left Tav even when she stopped clenching around Shadowheart's fingers and the trembling of her body subsided, leaving Tav sated and relaxed. Shadowheart gently eased her fingers out of Tav and looked her in the eyes as she put the fingers into her mouth, savoring the taste as she cleaned her fingers.

"Thank you," Tav murmured, a faint blush still covering her cheeks as she watched her, "That was... that was different."

"Hopefully in a good way?" Shadowheart asked, putting her arm around Tav's shoulder and kissing her forehead.

"Definitely. It was intense, but in a different way," Tav says, trying to find a way to explain it, "I felt so connected with you, like all of you were present, here with me in the moment, and you didn't shy away from any of it."

"I understand what you mean," Shadowheart murmured, knowing full well there had been a wall between her and the world, her and Tav and her and her own feelings for a long time.

They talked light things through the rest of the night, joking and having fun together in a way that was both familiar and new. 

Shadowheart couldn't remember a time when she had felt as unburdened as she felt in that moment with Tav. She didn't want to go to sleep, she wanted to hold on to that feeling a little longer, but at last sleep claimed them both.

But their sleep was not restful. 

Tav tossed and turned, whimpering in her sleep, "No, no, no, please don't, stop!" which finally woke up Shadowheart, who scanned the room for any threats before looking at Tav, worried.

"Tav, wake up," she said gently, shaking her. "You're safe now."

Tav opened her eyes, wide with fear, and shot up into a sitting position, her breathing quickened.

"Were you having a nightmare?" Shadowheart asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Tav nodded and swallowed hard.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shadowheart asked softly.

Tav took a few shuddering breaths and turned to look Shadowheart in the eye. "I've... I've been having nightmares about... what Nightbringer did to me," Tav said, her voice trembling.

"I see," Shadowheart replied, her voice soft.

"Yeah... and also these thoughts... these flashbacks during the day too," Tav admitted, looking away. "I think that's part of the reason I was so reckless last night. Deep down I wanted to get revenge on her and her minions, cause them the same kind of pain they made me suffer."

"I can understand that, Tav. I just wish you had told me sooner." Shadowheart said, worry clear in her eyes, "I know I haven't always been there for you, but I want you to know that I am now."

Tav's gaze softened at the promise and she nodded.

"I just didn't want to tell you earlier. We've had so much going on with just trying to escape and survive, and you and I had other things between us that needed sorting out. It’s just been a lot," Tav explained quietly, a few tears falling down her cheeks.

Shadowheart nodded empathetically. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Tav," she said, her expression filled with remorse as she hold her close. "I truly thought I had enough power to keep you safe while you visited me in my own cloister."

"I always knew that being with you in any capacity came with dangers, and I still chose to do it," Tav said softly. "I guess it's that... I never really understood what it's like to be tortured. I've lived in the underbelly, had my fair share of criminal dealings, but never that," Tav said, her voice shaking again.

"It really isn't a part of normal everyday life for most people," Shadowheart said quietly, looking down at her hands.

"These hands have committed similar acts, right?" Tav said quietly, taking Shadowheart's hands in hers.

"They have. I have. It's not a part I ever took pleasure in. It was a part I tried to shy away from, but I cannot deny it. It is something I've done more times than I care to think," Shadowheart said quietly, trying hard not to see the faces of her own parents, twisted in agony, but the memories Shar had given back to her were all too fresh in her mind.

"It's so hard to imagine... just a few hours ago, these hands brought me so much pleasure," Tav said, her voice barely above a whisper as she traced Shadowheart's fingers with her own. 

"I always knew about it, of course, the things you did, the things you have done. Well, not the details, but the gist of it," Tav murmured. "But I guess I never actually understood it, or wanted to understand it, until now that I got tortured."

Shadowheart felt a pang of guilt in her chest—for her past, the atrocities she had committed in Shar's name, and for what had happened to Tav because of her position. It hurt her to see Tav in pain and how she looked at her now in a new light, one she really wouldn’t have cared to be seen in. 

She also knew it was something she couldn't take back no matter how hard she wanted to.

"I deeply regret the things I've done and I wish I could take it all back." Shadowheart murmured, "All I can do is try to do better things with these for the rest of my life," she continued, her voice contemplative and sober. 

"I understand if you need space, and I can go and get my own room. But I don't want you to be left alone like this," Shadowheart said, unsure and hesitant.

"I don't want you to leave," Tav said firmly. "I just need a minute. I'm going to take a little walk to clear my head from the nightmare, and then I'll come back."

Shadowheart nodded. "Anything you need, Tav," she whispered.

Tav stepped outside their shared room, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. She wandered aimlessly around Gale's tower. At one point, she realized she was descending stairs that seemed to never end, but then she heard noise. 

Soon the stairs ended and Astarion came into view as she stepped into a dimly lit room.

"Ah, good of you to join me, dear old friend," he said, raising a goblet of wine as he noticed Tav.

"I didn't know you were having a private after-party in... what looks like Gale's wine cellar. I was just taking a walk," Tav said, amused, looking around at the rows and rows of wine bottles.

"It's not an easy task to get a vampire spawn drunk, but turns out if you drink enough of the fancy wizard's fancy wine, it will happen!" Astarion said, cackling, with a bunch of empty wine bottles littered around him.

"I can see that," Tav said with a small smile and took a seat, but the smile soon faded as recent thoughts returned.

"Why are you really here, Astarion? And I don't mean the wine cellar—I mean Waterdeep," Tav asked.

"I guess I missed our old gang, even after all these years. And Gale is one of the few I know for sure where he is at any given time, with him being a fancy professor and all that," Astarion replied, staring at his goblet as he swirled the wine in it.

Tav turned to look at him, surprised by his honest answer.

"I think the wine has loosened my tongue," he said, amused by Tav's expression, but then he sighed. "But it's the truth," he continued, and there was a hint of sadness in his eyes that was all too familiar to Tav.

"I miss the old gang too, often," Tav said. "And I've especially missed Shadowheart," she admitted, now surprising herself by admitting it so easily to one of their shared friends.

"Oh my, so has the old flame rekindled?" Astarion asked, leaning closer to Tav, eager to get the gossip.

Tav chuckled. "I guess you could say that... we are trying to begin anew after everything," Tav said and looked at Astarion. "But it's not easy after all the things that have taken place between us."

Astarion nodded sympathetically. "I can only imagine that. You do seem rather worried. Is there something particular on your mind?" he asked, offering a goblet of wine to her.

Tav took it and stared at its contents. "I've been having nightmares about the torture I suffered in the hands of that Sharran woman," Tav murmured and lifted her gaze back to Astarion. "And I guess at this moment, the most pressing feeling is all the things I've ignored about Shadowheart over the years, like the fact she has done similar things," she trailed off.

"I understand where you're coming from, Tav," Astarion said, nodding, his voice uncharacteristically serious. "Any feelings you have from your experience are valid, and I unfortunately know what it's like to be on the receiving end of such things. So if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Astarion. I... might take you up on that offer sometime," Tav said, giving him a small smile.

"But I do have to say about Shadowheart, it's not easy to let go of one's darker impulses," Astarion slurred slightly. "After all, I couldn't have done it back then without your support, my dear," he continued with a smile.

"And from what I gathered, even after everything that was done to her, everything she had been made to do, she was able to resist and break free when it mattered most, to save you," Astarion said, his piercing eyes fixed on Tav's.

Tav listened attentively, nodding.

"She won't be able to change the past—none of us can—but from what I can tell, she's trying to change now, and really, that's all she can do," Astarion continued. "It's not easy to pick up the pieces and try to carry on after something like what she has experienced," he concluded, looking at the bottom of his empty goblet. Tav could tell he was speaking from experience.

"You're, of course, right about all that," Tav replied, her mind drifting back to Shadowheart in their shared room.

"But that doesn't mean you should suppress your own feelings either," Astarion said with a lopsided grin. "I think there's this thing that might help, the name is just on my lips... let me think... right! It's called communication." he exclaimed, his grin widening.

Tav chuckled. "You're right again, old friend," Tav said smiling. "I'm glad to see you again, all of you. I wish the rest of our gang was here too."

"Me too, Tav," Astarion murmured, pouring more wine. "Me too."

After a while, Tav returned to her and Shadowheart's shared chambers and found that Shadowheart had fallen asleep. She took a moment to look at her face, and while sleep had eased any lingering sadness or worry from her features, she still looked exhausted. Tav carefully lay next to her, making sure not to wake her from her slumber.

Tav thought back to their earlier conversation; the sincerity in Shadowheart's voice had been palpable, and Tav remembered the deep sadness and remorse etched in Shadowheart's face. It had been like Tav was back with the version of Shadowheart from before the events of the Shadowfell.

But Tav knew that wasn't true. The years since had changed Shadowheart; neither of them were the same anymore and never would be again. Tav knew they had to get to know each other again, and there would be a lot of changes still ahead as they tried to move on from all this.

Tav felt a sudden sting of pain in her chest, on the mark of Shar—a stark reminder that they might not be in the clear yet. Tav could feel Shadowheart's past weighing heavily on both of them, but she also knew she wanted to face it with Shadowheart and try to write a new future for them together, as Shadowheart had offered earlier.

Shadowheart turned to face Tav in her sleep, and Tav gently laid her arm across her waist. Shadowheart's eyes fluttered open.

"You came back," she murmured sleepily.

"Of course," Tav said. "Goodnight, Shadowheart."

"Goodnight, Tav," Shadowheart whispered, already succumbing back to sleep as she moved closer to Tav.

As Tav settled down under the blankets, next to Shadowheart, she felt safe, truly safe for the first time since that fateful day back in the cloister. They had each other in this moment, and it was all that mattered to Tav. It was more than either of them had truly had in a long time.

Tav let her own eyes fall shut and the heaviness of sleep take her over again.

Chapter Text

White masks with black eyeholes stare at her as she walks through them. Robes as dark as the night itself hide their forms. It feels like she's walking through darkness itself, with those featureless masks observing her every move.

As she walks, the sea of empty stares and featureless masks parts to give her passage, revealing a woman hanging from a torture rack. The woman raises her head to look at her, one of her eyes swollen shut, a dark bruise coloring her skin.

The woman tries to speak, but no words come out. Or if they do, they are drowned by the chanting filling the space.

"Embrace loss."

"Embrace loss."

"Lady Shar's will shall be done, as sure as the night will fall," she murmurs again and again, walking closer to the woman, gripping a dagger tightly in her hand.

The dagger is raised, and the woman shakes her head, a bottomless sorrow in her eyes.

Then there’s nothing as the dagger comes down, again and again, while the chanting crescendos.

Then she screams.

She screams.

She screams as the crimson blood flows.

The dark sea of her mind didn’t give way easily. Shadowheart had to fight, to struggle, to will herself to the surface until she finally bolted upright in bed.

Her heart hammered inside her ribcage, her breathing coming in ragged gasps, like someone who truly had been drowning. She was drenched in cold sweat, the sheen making her skin feel clammy, adding to the chill running through her.

For a moment, the twisted images from the nightmare haunted her mind and her thoughts raced.

The lingering sense of danger made Shadowheart spin her head around, her eyes scanning every dark shadow for potential threats, her muscles tensing, ready for action.

The nightmare clawed at her mind, making the fear linger. But she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to convince herself it was just a dream. She looked around, remembering she was safe in Gale's guest bedroom with a peacefully sleeping Tav by her side.

She took in every detail of Tav's face, the quietness of the room, save for Tav’s calm breathing. Finally, the nightmare gave way to reality, and she relaxed, her heartbeat and breathing slowing.

For a moment, Shadowheart simply observed the steady rise and fall of Tav’s chest, feeling a fleeting joy that Tav was alive, safe, and with her. Her mind wandered back to the events of last night—how they had made love, and how it had been so different from anything she had experienced before.

The warmth in her chest chased away the lingering coldness from the nightmare, and her lips curled into a smile. The feeling of true, pure joy was almost alien to Shadowheart, and it tightened her chest with anxiety soon enough.

She didn’t deserve to feel joy, not after everything she had done and the consequences of her actions. There was no time to indulge in her own selfish feelings and needs. There was much work to be done.

So, Shadowheart quietly got up, careful not to wake Tav. She cleaned herself up, redid her hair, applied her eyeliner, and prepared for the day. She was heading for the city, so she left her attention-catching armor behind, opting for regular clothing, which she covered with a hooded dark grey cape.

She didn't bother altering her appearance. There was no way the Sharrans could know that they were in Waterdeep yet.

Before she left the room, she glanced one more time to make sure Tav was okay before closing the door behind her. She hovered at the door, the fear of losing Tav still present in her mind, and quietly opened it again to check one more time that she was there, her chest rising and falling, before pulling the door shut again and finally walking away.

Moments later, Shadowheart stood at the door of Gale's study, knocking twice. She heard a chair scraping as it was pushed back, then footsteps before the door opened.

"Ah, good morning, Shadowheart! I hope you slept well and everything was to your liking!" Gale said cheerfully.

"I did, thank you," Shadowheart said with a small smile. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" she asked.

"Of course, come in," Gale said, opening the door wider.

Gale's study was a spacious room, with almost every wall lined with mahogany bookshelves brimming with books, tomes, and scrolls of all kinds. Of course, there was his mahogany desk and a comfortable-looking chair, matching the other furniture in the room.

"The window isn’t real, of course," he commented as he saw Shadowheart looking around. "It just shows whatever scenery I wish to look at at any given moment." He seemed to be in good spirits, especially first thing in the morning.

"Gale, I have to say, you seem so... cheerful," Shadowheart said, sitting down in the chair Gale had just conjured up for her. "I take it you're happy with your life as a professor?"

"Blackstaff Academy has treated me well. And I'm still very grateful for the new lease on life I was granted four years ago," Gale said, nodding. His gaze became distant as he reflected. "I still remember the feeling of Mystra curing the orb, how it felt to be free from the Karsite Weave. It was like exhaling for the first time after holding my breath for so long."

Shadowheart leaned back in her chair. Gale’s words struck a chord in her heart. Despite the burdens she still carried, in the last few days, away from Shar's influence, she had been able to breathe freely for the first time since she was abducted by the Sharrans all those decades ago.

"I know we haven't talked much since our adventuring days," Gale continued, pulling Shadowheart out of her thoughts. "You probably remember me as a troubled person who took himself far too seriously. But traveling the strangest roads together, I learned to see myself differently. To see the Weave differently. And I think I’ve been the best person to teach young wizards about the perils magic can hold if one is not careful. It’s a duty I’ve come to take quite seriously—along with trying to convey how much fun learning magic can be."

"You never miss the road, then? The adventures to be had out there?" Shadowheart asked, curious. She often found herself missing it, even when she should have been content with her role in Shar's plan—a pawn ruling part of her domain in Shar’s blessed darkness.

Gale was silent for a moment, contemplating her question.

"I must confess, in the duller moments of teaching, I do sometimes yearn for adventure—the kind we had during the Absolute crisis. Perhaps this time without the ticking time bomb in my chest," he admitted with a small chuckle.

"Part of me still can’t believe last night was real, to have so many old friends gathered in the same place. I didn’t think I’d see the day. It was..." He trailed off, emotion filling his eyes, and he cleared his throat before continuing. "It was quite lovely."

Shadowheart nodded. The night had brought many regrets alongside pleasant memories of a time long past, and the joy of seeing old friendships rekindled.

"Gale, why did you come to help me?" Shadowheart asked, her voice serious. "We haven’t been in touch since I took over the cloister and became the Mother Superior. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me after I chose that path."

"It’s true we haven’t kept in touch," Gale began awkwardly. "While I might not have wanted to associate with you after you began leading the Sharrans, I did think it was better that you led them and not some other Sharran. I could still see that inner light in you, even after all that happened and despite the titles you earned from your goddess."

Shadowheart listened intently. It never ceased to amaze her that her friends could still see some good in her, even when she felt completely lost to the darkness.

"Besides, I knew it must be important if you contacted me after all this time. I still considered you a friend, even after everything. What we shared on the road—the struggles, the victories—those memories aren’t easily wiped away." He continued.

"Unless you own a mirror that can eat your memories like they’re nothing," Shadowheart thought, though she didn’t say it aloud. Instead, she simply nodded.

"I'm grateful you did. We were in great danger. Well, we still are, but at least now we have some of our old allies, old friends, by our side and knowledge at our fingertips," Shadowheart replied.

"That you do," Gale agreed. "I know a thing or two about being a mortal plaything for divine entities, and I promise I will do what I can to help free you from her clutches," he said with a solemn expression.

"Thank you, Gale. But I don’t expect you to spend your hard-earned gold on the spells and ingredients we need. That’s why I came to see you. Could you make me a list of the ingredients, and I’ll pick them up while I procure provisions for our journey?" Shadowheart asked.

"Are you saying your position as the leader of Shar’s cult earned you well?" Gale laughed. "Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it."

"It didn’t earn me well at all, but I’m not a fool. I knew the blades might turn against me one day, so I prepared by amassing funds for defenses or a quick exit," Shadowheart explained. "I have quite the amount of gold and precious stones," she added with a small, lopsided grin.

"My, my, Shadowheart!" Gale exclaimed with a wide grin. "Are you saying your last act of wickedness as Mother Superior was... embezzling funds from your church?" he asked.

Shadowheart laughed, a rich, genuine laugh, and Gale joined in.

"I suppose it was," she finally said as she caught her breath. "That said, please give me the list, and I’ll make sure you have everything you need."

"I will," Gale relented, starting to write down the items.

He handed the list to Shadowheart, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What exactly is your plan for getting out of the Shadowfell? Last time, we were allowed to leave when you became a Dark Justiciar, but this time I doubt Shar will let you waltz out so easily," Gale mused, leaning back in his chair.

"To be honest, I have no idea," Shadowheart admitted. "I don’t suppose Professor Dekarios has any ideas?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"As a matter of fact, I do! And it’s a good thing you’re a cleric—you’ll need magic to make this work." Gale rummaged through a cabinet filled with all sorts of magical items.

"Aha! Here it is!" he said, laying a thin, forked metal rod on the desk in front of her.

"And this is...?" Shadowheart asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A tuning fork bound to this place and its frequency. It’s required for the plane shift spell, which will allow you to travel from the Shadowfell back to the Material Plane," Gale explained, waving his hands as he spoke.

"Where did you get this?" Shadowheart asked, taking it into her hands.

"I had it made after Karlach and Wyll got stuck in Avernus," Gale explained. "I wanted to be sure I could help them get out of the Hells if—or should I say when—they get Karlach's engine fixed."

"I see," Shadowheart murmured, her thoughts briefly drifting to her two old companions still trapped in the Hells. It was a stark reminder that she wasn’t the only one left without a happy ending after they had defeated the Absolute and saved Baldur’s Gate and beyond.

"Thank you. I’ll keep it safe," Shadowheart said, carefully tucking the item away.

"I’m sure you will," Gale said with a smile.

"Speaking of magical items, Tara and I have been trying to procure an item for quite some time now, and I got word yesterday that one shop finally has what I need. Would you be willing to pick it up? The shop isn’t far from the marketplace, and there are other shops nearby where you can find the ingredients I listed for you."

"We can fetch it," Shadowheart agreed with a nod.

"Great! I’ll write down the name of the shop. Just say it’s for Gale Dekarios," Gale said, scribbling down the name and directions for the shop and the marketplace.

Shadowheart took the parchment and rose from the chair.

"Tell Tav and Astarion to be ready to leave as soon as we get back," Shadowheart said, turning to leave.

"I shall, and I shall feed them a breakfast fit for kings and queens to keep them strong on the road for a while," he said pompously.

Shadowheart nodded, her hand already on the door handle, but then she stopped and turned back to face Gale.

"Gale..." she began, "Did Tav ever tell you about her family, by any chance?"

Gale blinked and was quiet for a moment, surprised by the sudden change in topic.

"She did tell me about her family when we were on the road. I told her about my mother and Tara, and we shared some stories. Why do you ask?" he finally replied.

Shadowheart looked away, hurt and shame burning her cheeks.

"Because... she never told me. I only learned last night," she confessed.

"Oh. I see. I would have presumed, seeing as the two of you were together at one point and all that," Gale said hesitantly.

"I understand her reasoning," Shadowheart said quickly. "I was loyal to Shar. Sharrans have a sinister reputation when it comes to our family members and friends and what the Dark Lady might demand of us... Even people outside the church know of it. I don’t blame her for not taking the risk," she added in a quiet voice.

Gale was silent, observing Shadowheart’s words and expression, sensing what she left unsaid.

"But it still hurts, doesn’t it?" he asked in such a soft voice that it took Shadowheart by surprise.

Shadowheart was quiet for a moment, preparing to deny it, but his sympathetic expression made her sigh and nod.

"It does," she admitted with a sigh, her shoulders slumping slightly. "It would have been illogical for Tav to trust me with such a thing at the time. But to hear it from her... it hurts. To know that she feared me, even—at least as a tool of Shar," she continued, the pain clear in her voice.

"She might not have trusted you with her family, but she did trust you with herself. She told me she kept seeing you all these years," Gale said. "She trusted you to keep her safe."

"And I couldn’t even do that! As you heard yesterday," Shadowheart said, guilt gripping her heart.

"That may be so, but you were able to save her life in the end. You gave up everything you’ve ever known for her," Gale insisted.

Shadowheart was silent for a moment, lost in her troubled thoughts. She knew there was truth in Gale’s words, but the guilt gnawed at her.

Ever since she turned on Shar, she had come to realize more and more how corrupted she and her actions were under Shar’s influence, and how much she had hurt not only complete strangers, but those closest to her, to the extent that they didn’t fully trust her.

Who in their right mind would trust a Sharran? It was a painful realization—so painful she wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

Shadowheart wanted Tav to trust her, but she had no right to expect such trust after the things she had done. She worried that Tav might never fully trust her, even now that she had broken free from Shar’s influence.

Now she was trying to make amends, to choose a new path, but what if it wasn’t enough?

What if nothing would ever be enough, and the scars of her past would linger forever?

"Are you okay, Shadowheart?" Gale’s question interrupted her spiraling thoughts. He had a worried look on his face, and she realized she had been quiet for quite some time.

"Sorry. I got lost in my thoughts," Shadowheart said. "I need to get going. I think, at the moment, it’s best if I keep myself busy."

Gale nodded, still looking concerned, but didn’t press the matter further.

"Thank you for everything," Shadowheart added before walking through the door and heading for Nocturne’s room.

"Gods, who knew there could be so many people in one place," Nocturne observed as they made their way through the crowd in the market, trying to find provisions for their journey.

"Or how much noise they could make?" she added, looking around nervously.

"I'm sorry I dragged you here. I thought, with your quartermaster skills, this might be done faster," Shadowheart said, worry creasing her features as she looked at her nervous friend.

"Just don't leave me alone for too long," Nocturne said with a nervous laugh, walking very close to Shadowheart, as if her presence could shield her from the foreign sights and sounds overwhelming her senses.

"I won't," Shadowheart reassured her as they made their way deeper into the market.

Nocturne tried to pay attention as Shadowheart haggled with the stall keepers, hoping to learn from her. Nocturne might have been the quartermaster, but she only kept stock and took care of the armory and storage facilities, marking down what was needed. The actual acquiring of goods was handled by others and through connections outside the cloister.

As they continued moving through the marketplace, both of their senses were assaulted by the sights, sounds, and smells of the bustling area—it was a whirlwind of sensations.

The market was a blur of colored stalls lining the wide streets on both sides, converging into a market square, from which more streets spread out in different directions, all filled with even more stalls. The stalls offered everything imaginable, from exotic spices to finely crafted jewelry and intricately woven carpets, from a plethora of foods and drinks to clothing, weapons, armor, and beyond.

The scent of roasted fish, chicken, and pork wafted from the food stalls, mingling with the aroma of spices ranging from exotic saffron and cinnamon to earthier ones like rosemary and thyme. All of this mixed with the smell of sea salt carried by a light breeze from the nearby docks.

The chatter of merchants and citizens blended with the clanging of a blacksmith hammering steel nearby. Adding to the chaotic symphony were children running around and street performers competing for people's attention—and their coin.

Shadowheart glanced at Nocturne and saw her eyes darting around; the nervous look hadn’t eased a bit.

"I feel like people are staring at me," Nocturne said when she noticed Shadowheart giving her a worried look.

"They're not, I'm sure," Shadowheart replied, her voice empathetic. She could see that Nocturne was getting more and more overwhelmed.

"Let's take a little break from the noise," Shadowheart offered, guiding Nocturne to a smaller, much quieter side street.

Shadowheart watched as Nocturne leaned against a wall and took a deep breath, holding it in before releasing it.

"Better?" Shadowheart asked.

"Yes, better," Nocturne said, her voice still shaking a bit.

"I imagine you're still adjusting to life outside the cloister?" Shadowheart asked gently. "I know I am. I used to go out more for missions, but being Mother Superior kept me more and more tied to the underground."

Nocturne nodded.

"There are so many things—not just the people and noise, but even the sunlight. How can it be so bright? My eyes hurt when we first escaped," Nocturne murmured, looking up at the small sliver of light-blue sky visible between the buildings.

"It takes time to get used to," Shadowheart said, also looking up. "But the sun can be beautiful too, once you adjust. It makes everything brighter, more vibrant. There are so many beautiful colors in the world—not just purple and darkness."

"I guess you're right..." Nocturne said after thinking for a moment. "It's hard to shake old habits. My gut instinct still tells me it’s an abomination to my Lady's sacred darkness."

"I know what you mean," Shadowheart replied, nodding sympathetically as she lowered her gaze back to Nocturne. "These instincts and thoughts may not be easy to shed, but we're here. And we have each other."

"I... I still have doubts about whether I made the right decision by leaving the cloister," Nocturne confessed. "I fear I'm just a burden to you and the others, not even able to navigate a market. I fear I'm not fit to survive outside the cloister," she said in a quiet voice, looking away from Shadowheart.

"Nocturne, it was the right decision. I have no doubt about that. I don’t want to think about what would have become of you had you stayed behind. And you are no burden. Never," Shadowheart said. "Besides, you saved my life after I got stabbed. Tav wouldn’t have known about the Sharran poison, nor about the antidote. My soul would be in Shar's clutches right now if it weren’t for you," she continued, laying her hand on Nocturne's shoulder comfortingly.

"That's true," Nocturne conceded. "I'm happy I could be there for you," she said, offering a small smile.

"We've been through so much together, survived many things. We'll get through this too. I want to be there for you, to help you navigate this new world. You're not alone in this, I promise," Shadowheart said, squeezing her shoulder.

"I've been impressed with how well you've navigated it already, you went and bought us the horses on your own, you were able to find my missing horse from the forest at night just to mention a few things," she added with a smile, "It's easy to forget how capable you are when you're feeling overwhelmed."

"Thank you for saying that. It hasn't been easy; everything feels so alien, like I don't belong in this world. In the cloister, everything was simple. I knew exactly what my place was and what was expected of me," Nocturne explained, with a hint of longing for the routines of the cloister and the stability they had brought, no matter how rigid.

"Being a Sharran and my role in the church were all I knew for so long. I don’t even know who I am outside the church and Shar," Nocturne continued.

Shadowheart felt a pang in her chest; Nocturne's words resonated with her. She herself had struggled with similar thoughts since she had defied Shar.

"We'll figure it out. Together. We have each other. And we have hope now, for the first time," Shadowheart said.

Hearing the word "hope" come from Shadowheart made Nocturne’s expression shift into one of surprise, as if she had heard something blasphemous.

"It's okay to feel hope. Hope that we'll somehow be able to not only survive but to build a new life. Far away from Shar's grasp," Shadowheart said. Her own emotions were a mix of dread, guilt, and hope, but she wanted to instill hope in her friend.

"Shar did not want us to feel hope. If we had, we might have hoped for a better life instead of the misery she offered," Shadowheart continued.

"You're right," Nocturne said, taking another deep breath. "I want to be free from her. I want to have my own life."

"We'll take it one step at a time. For now, maybe we can focus on finding joy in simple things?" Shadowheart offered.

"Agreed. And I have to say, even though I'm terrified, I'm also intrigued by this freedom. It’s exhilarating," Nocturne said, her posture straightening.

"That's good! Let's work with that. Is there something you'd like to do? Something you'd like to experience?" Shadowheart asked.

Nocturne was quiet for a moment, thinking back to everything she had seen in the market.

"I think I want to sample some of the delicious-smelling foods they had on display. I’ve had enough of Sharran grub for one lifetime."

Shadowheart chuckled.

"Let’s go, then," she said, and they ventured back into the market.

Shadowheart watched as Nocturne inspected the numerous food items on offer and chose a few things. They returned to the quieter side street to eat them. Shadowheart couldn’t help but smile as she watched Nocturne sample the food, experiencing new tastes for the first time. She herself savored the smoked salmon, which almost melted on her tongue.

"Who knew such simple things could bring so much pleasure?" Nocturne said after they finished.

"Indeed," Shadowheart murmured, a small smile playing on her lips. "Was there anything else you wanted to do?"

"I want to try doing something on my own while we’re here," Nocturne said, a determined look in her eyes.

"Oh?" Shadowheart replied, surprised. "Well, the place where Gale’s package is isn’t far away..." she trailed off, unsure if it would be too much.

"Good. I’ll visit that shop alone and fetch Mr. Dekarios's package," Nocturne said, still determined.

"Very well. Quartermaster, tell me which provisions we need for this journey, and I will acquire them in the meantime," Shadowheart said, her tone taking on a playful edge.

After they separated, Shadowheart spent a good while gathering supplies for their journey and for what Gale had requested earlier. She hummed to herself, her anxieties having calmed for a moment as she focused on helping Nocturne navigate the market and new experiences.

The hustle and bustle of the market didn’t die down. While it was a bit overwhelming after their time on the run in the wilderness, there was a peculiar kind of comfort in getting lost in the crowd and the pulse of the city.

Once Shadowheart had gathered everything, she wandered aimlessly, waiting for Nocturne to return. A small part of her worried about how Nocturne would fare alone, but she wanted to trust her friend.

Something caught Shadowheart’s eye at a weapon seller’s stall, and she stopped. There was a dagger on display that sent a shiver down her spine as she realized it looked familiar.

Shadowheart reached for the dagger, taking it in her hands and examining it closely. There was no doubt—it was of Sharran design, a ceremonial sacrificial dagger.

Before she could wonder how it had ended up for sale, a flashback from the cloister hit her—herself holding the dagger and approaching Tav. Then Nightbringer’s cold yet amused eyes as she handed the dagger to her.

Her whole body tensed up with the memory. She tried to resist, but she couldn’t help imagining all the Sharran torture methods and tactics Nightbringer could have used on Tav. Anger boiled in her veins for what Nightbringer had done to Tav under her nose.

The dagger in her hand seemed to absorb light, no matter how she turned it. Shadowheart’s mind slipped into a dark place.

She knew countless ways to kill a person, all the vulnerable parts of a body. She also knew how to prolong it, how to make the person suffer in unimaginable ways. Shadowheart imagined getting hold of Nightbringer, putting her on the rack, and all the ways she could torture her in return to avenge Tav.

Her eyes grew cold and dark as her thoughts spiraled. She unconsciously traced the blade with her fingers but slipped, cutting herself.

The pain made her hiss, but it was nothing compared to the punch of a flashback—her parents, bleeding and in pain, before her.

The knife clattered to the ground as Shadowheart gripped her bleeding finger, the awful memory lingering as she tried to chase it away.

“What are you doing?! Careful with the merchandise!” The angry man behind the stall scolded her.

Shadowheart struggled to focus on what he was saying. She was transfixed by the sight of her own blood, her heartbeat pounding in her ears, drowning out other sounds. Her breathing was labored as she stared at the dagger on the ground.

“What’s wrong with you, woman? Are you deaf?!” the man continued angrily.

Suddenly, Nocturne appeared by her side, worry etched on her face. She gave the man a sidelong glance before turning to Shadowheart.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Nocturne asked.

“That dagger, look at that dagger,” Shadowheart whispered.

Nocturne looked where Shadowheart pointed, her eyes widening. She picked up the ceremonial dagger.

“How do you have this for sale? Explain,” Nocturne demanded.

The man squinted at the dagger, taking a closer look.

“That’s not one of mine. How did it get there?” he muttered, clearly annoyed.

“Well, then you won’t mind us taking it off your hands,” Shadowheart said, slowly regaining her composure.

“I—Well...” the man started to protest, but Shadowheart and Nocturne had already turned and started walking away. He scratched the back of his head, confused, then shrugged and turned back to his wares, relieved that the strange women had left.

Shadowheart quickly hid the Sharran dagger from view.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Shadowheart asked Nocturne in hushed tones.

“That someone left it there on purpose for us to find?” Nocturne whispered.

“Exactly. They want us to know they’re following us. Watching our every move,” Shadowheart said.

“What do we do?” Nocturne asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“They might even know where we’re staying. But in case they don’t, it’d be wise to deal with the spy before returning,” Shadowheart whispered.

“I’m going to use a decoy. You walk into one of the alleys as if you’re walking with me. I’ll follow and surprise the spy,” Shadowheart instructed.

Once they were in the middle of the thick crowd, Shadowheart subtly invoked duplicity, creating a perfect copy of herself, while simultaneously casting a spell to alter her own appearance.

Her duplicate followed Nocturne out of the crowd and into the alleys, while Shadowheart stayed back, watching for anyone who would start to follow. Sure enough, a man dressed in peasant’s clothes broke away from the crowd and tailed Nocturne from a distance. Shadowheart ensured there weren’t any others before slipping after him.

Without her armor, Shadowheart moved silently. Once they were out of sight of the crowd, she dropped the illusion and moved closer. Just as she was about to ambush the man, his senses alerted him, and he spun around.

“Can I help you, miss?” he asked, his tone calm and nonchalant. If he was surprised to see Shadowheart behind him, he hid it well.

“I know these alleys can be like mazes. It’s easy to get lost. I can help you back to the main street,” he offered.

“Don’t play coy with me. I know you’re one of Shar’s lapdogs,” Shadowheart spat, her muscles tensing, her hand reaching for her hidden weapons.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, miss. You seem confused. If you don’t need help, I’ll be on my way. My wife is waiting for me,” he said, attempting to push past Shadowheart, only to stop as he felt Nocturne’s dagger at his throat.

“Are you robbing me? I’m a simple peasant, I don’t have much. Please, spare me,” he whimpered.

Nocturne rolled her eyes behind his back.

“If you’re a simple peasant, we’ll let you go. All you need to do is repeat after me: ‘Dearest Selûne, our fair maiden, weave our hearts with threads of silver, guide us with the light of the moon, and quench us with the purest of tears,’” Shadowheart stated.

A look of pure disgust twisted the man’s features for a second. He tried to compose himself quickly, but it was too late. Shadowheart grinned triumphantly.

“Well then, I’m waiting,” Shadowheart pressed.

His face remained neutral for a moment before twisting into a sneer.

“So it’s true, then. The Mother Superior from Baldur’s Gate, once the chosen of Shar herself, has not only betrayed our Dark Lady but soiled herself with the Moonbitch and her poisonous prayers.” He spat. “I can feel it as I look at you—the mere sight of you makes me shiver in disgust.”

“There you go. Wasn’t so hard, was it?” Shadowheart said, unfazed by his venom.

“So good of you to keep tabs on us,” Nocturne said, pressing the blade harder against his throat.

“It’s only a matter of time until you’re caught. As long as one Sharran lives, you’ll never know peace. Our Lady will have her due,” he said.

“Oh, she will. And if that’s the case, I’d better start thinning the herd,” Shadowheart said coldly, pulling out the Sharran ceremonial dagger.

Without ceremony, she stabbed him through the heart. The blade sank in with a sickening crunch. He let out a choked whimper.

Nocturne let him slump against the alley wall, dead.

“That should send a message. But are you sure he didn’t have more information we could’ve used?” Nocturne asked.

“He might have, but we would’ve had to torture him for it. I’m done with that,” Shadowheart said.

“So am I,” Nocturne admitted.

“This was the most merciful thing we could do. The other Sharrans would’ve made him suffer more if they found out he was caught by us,” Shadowheart mused, not keen on repeating the mistake she made with Iris.

Nocturne nodded solemnly.

“Come on, let’s hide him somewhere more discreet and head back,” Shadowheart said.

Tav, Astarion, and Gale had finished their breakfast by the time Shadowheart and Nocturne returned.

"You're safe! What took you so long?" Tav exclaimed when she saw them, her worried eyes darting between them before settling on Shadowheart as she approached.

"We had some twists and turns on the way," Shadowheart said with a sigh.

"You should've told me you were going. I could’ve gone with you," Tav said. "I was so worried when I woke up alone in bed this morning," she added quietly, once she was out of earshot of Astarion and Gale.

"I'm sorry, Tav. I thought I’d get up bright and early to get us road-ready," Shadowheart explained.

"But you have a big target on your back! You need to be careful, especially in a city like this where there might be Sharrans everywhere," Tav said, clearly concerned.

"Well, you’re not wrong about that..." Shadowheart trailed off and sighed deeply before joining everyone at the breakfast table, proceeding to recount the events at the market.

"So anyone we meet could be a Sharran spy in disguise—from a street vendor to a random farmer selling their goods," Tav said, rubbing her eyes.

"Basically. Disguises in public places are second nature to Sharrans. I might be able to spot a spy, but if they’re really good..." Shadowheart trailed off.

"Well, isn’t that just great," Astarion chimed in, sarcasm evident in his voice.

Tav couldn’t help but feel anxious at the thought of being constantly hunted by Sharrans. A pair of cold, grey eyes loomed in the back of her mind.

"I am deeply sorry to interrupt, but did you get the package? It’s quite important," Gale asked, an apologetic smile on his lips.

"I have it!" Nocturne said, rummaging through her belongings.

"Splendid! If you’ll excuse me, I need to check that this is the legitimate item I ordered. I’ll be back soon," he said, leaving the room.

"So what now?" Tav asked, looking at Shadowheart questioningly.

"Now, we proceed as planned and deal with any Sharrans who cross our path when the time comes," Shadowheart said.

"And speaking of... As you know, we need to enter the Gauntlet of Shar to reach the part of the Shadowfell where Nightsong’s body is located. Well... sometime before our escape from the cloister, Shar had ordered me to prepare the Gauntlet to be taken back into use," Shadowheart explained.

The others turned to her with surprised expressions, except for Nocturne.

"What do you mean by that?" Astarion asked, his voice strained.

"It won’t be empty when we arrive. I sent a team. They were tasked with cleaning the place, mapping every inch in preparation for repairs," Shadowheart elaborated.

"How many people?" Tav asked.

"Twenty. I didn’t send them out poorly equipped. They’ll be capable of defending themselves and may have set traps around the perimeter," Shadowheart replied.

"Just perfect," Astarion exclaimed, waving his hands in frustration.

"Can’t you go in pretending to still be Mother Superior and order them to leave?" Tav asked.

"I’ve been marked, remember?" Shadowheart said, touching the white streak in her hair.

"They’ll feel disgust the moment they see me. They’ll know I’m an enemy of Shar now."

"Well, it’s going to be a bloodbath then," Astarion said. "I haven’t had any humanoid blood in a while, so I won’t object," he added with a dry laugh.

"Twenty against four, with traps set around... I don’t like this," Tav murmured, deep in thought.

"I don’t like it either. But we all know how to operate in the shadows. No need to attack head-on," Shadowheart said.

They all nodded.

"We can hone the details later. For now, I think we should get moving," Shadowheart stated.

"Ah, then I’ve come back just in time," Gale said as he entered the room.

"Ready to zap us out, wizard?" Astarion asked with a grin.

"Yes, but before that, I have something for you," Gale said, holding out a ring to Astarion.

"I’m flattered, Gale, but I’m not ready to settle down and get married, no matter how lovely your setup here is," Astarion said, laughing heartily.

"No, you idiot," Gale said, letting out a frustrated grunt. "This is a Sun-Walker’s ring. I’ve been trying to acquire it for you ever since you mentioned it, but I didn’t tell you in case I couldn’t get one. It wasn’t easy—it took me two years," Gale explained.

Astarion went quiet and stared at the ring. He tentatively extended his hand, taking it and inspecting it closely.

"This really is a Sun-Walker’s ring?" Astarion asked in a quiet voice.

"It is. I just confirmed its magical properties—it’s the real deal," Gale said, nodding, a small, self-satisfied smile on his lips.

"I... don’t know what to say," Astarion said, his voice uncharacteristically thick with emotion. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome. And now there’s no need to flinch every time I open a window," Gale added with a wide smile.

"Indeed," Astarion murmured, slipping the ring onto his finger.

"I don’t know how to repay you," Astarion murmured.

"No need. It’s a gift for an old friend," Gale said.

"It’s a gift I’ll never forget," Astarion murmured. He examined the ring from all sides, then noticed everyone was staring at him.

"What are we waiting for? Let’s get going! I want to see if this thing really works," he said with a scoff, though the hope in his eyes was palpable.

"Good. Let’s get you all set up. Since the Shadow-Curse was lifted from Reithwin and the surrounding areas, the place will look very different. I haven’t seen it since then, so it might be safest if I teleport you to the monastery trail. Just to avoid and minimize the chance for any magical mishaps," Gale explained.

"That’s fine. We can take the Risen Road and go through the mountain pass. It won’t be far, and we have horses," Shadowheart said as everyone stood up, ready to go.

One by one, they all teleported from Gale's property to the monastery trail.

Astarion instinctively flinched, feeling the urge to hide in the shadows, but then opened his eyes as he felt no pain from the sun's rays.

"It really works!" he exclaimed, enjoying the soft caress and warmth of the light on his skin.

"It had been many lifetimes before I felt the sun again four years ago, and I had it for such a short while then... but I never forgot how it felt. I never stopped yearning for it," he murmured.

"I'm happy for you, Astarion," Tav said with a warm smile.

"Thank you," Astarion said, clearing his throat.

"I need to get something nice for the wizard as a thank-you gift," he mumbled under his breath and walked confidently forward with the others.

The group took stock and quickly figured out the exact place where Gale’s teleportation had dropped them. They mounted their horses and set off on the Risen Road.

After a while, the road took them near Last Light Inn—or what remained of it.

Everything looked so different from the last time they were there. Gone were the consuming darkness and shadows, along with the twisted, dead nature.

Instead, everything was sunny and bright, and nature had come to life with bursts of colors, the smell of flowers, and the singing of birds. It was like a whole different world.

As they rode down the road toward the inn, Shadowheart couldn't help but steal glances at Tav riding ahead. The morning had been a blur of continuous action, and they hadn't had time to talk about the events of the previous night.

Tav caught her staring and gave her a small smile before turning back and focusing on riding.

They had agreed to start over the night before, but Shadowheart couldn't help feeling anxious about their future together. The past weighed heavily between them.

Her thoughts were interrupted as they arrived at the inn, and they decided to take a quick look. They approached with caution, but it quickly became clear that no one had reinhabited it since its previous occupants taking shelter there were lost to the cursed shadows.

Guilt gripped Shadowheart's chest again. She had no way of knowing that the shield the Moonmaiden had bestowed upon the place would falter when grief gripped Selûne’s heart after Shadowheart ended Nightsong’s life, dooming all of its inhabitants to death, along with the unfortunate tiefling refugees.

Not knowing it would happen didn’t change the fact that Shadowheart felt responsible. The others seemed ready to just continue past the place with somber expressions, but Shadowheart unmounted her horse and walked further in. She stepped past the inn to the small path that led to the cemetery nearby.

"Uh, where do you think you're going, darling?" Astarion called after her, but she didn’t answer.

Tav looked after her, furrowing her brow.

"You two wait here. I'll go with her, just in case," Tav said to Astarion and Nocturne and followed Shadowheart.

Meanwhile, Shadowheart had reached the cemetery and looked at the rows of graves, which now included the unfortunate souls present when the shadows consumed the inn.

She walked around, looking at the names and recognizing a few. There were graves for the moody tiefling wizard and his siblings, and the lady whose lover they had saved from the Moonrise Towers, only for them to be reunited and then killed at the inn that was supposed to be their safe haven.

Shadowheart’s gaze lingered on the name "Alfira," the young tiefling woman so full of life and dreams for the future, now lying lifeless in the cold ground with the rest of them. When she had heard Alfira perform back in the grove, she had thought she’d never heard anything as beautiful as the song she had sung for them—so different from the songs and hymns sung in the Nightsinger’s name.

With a heavy heart, she walked along the path, taking in the names. Her eyes caught Jaheira’s name, the half-elven hero who had survived many battles in her long life, only to be consumed by the shadows while on a mission here.

Next to her was the cleric of Selûne, Isobel, who had protected the inn until Shadowheart did what she had done in Shadowfell. She remembered the prickly words they exchanged upon meeting—Sharran and Selûnite at each other's throats, a tale as old as time, as evidenced by this whole area and its many dead from the war over a century ago.

But even upon meeting Isobel, there had been a part of her that respected Isobel—admired the way she had kept everyone alive with her strong faith in the Moonmaiden. It was a part Shadowheart could never have admitted out loud, so desperate was she to prove her utmost devotion to Shar at the time.

Shadowheart stopped in front of Isobel’s grave as the feelings overwhelmed her once again—the regrets, the guilt, the anger bubbling up. She had been lied to her whole life. Every step she had taken had been manipulated and twisted to suit Shar’s needs. Viconia’s training had chiseled away any part of her that didn’t fit into Shar’s plan.

How could she have been so gullible? She had always carried doubts, her conscience bothering her when she had had to do particularly wicked things. She should have realized all of it. Instead, she had been blind.

Why couldn’t she break away sooner? Why couldn’t she have fought harder in moments of doubt? Surely, there had been many moments when she could have done something. How could she have been so weak that this could be done to her?

"What are you doing here?" Tav asked softly, appearing next to her, interrupting her spiraling thoughts.

"Facing my past," Shadowheart said solemnly. She felt Tav take her hand and squeeze it.

Shadowheart had to look away, so ashamed was she.

"Do you know who buried them?" Shadowheart asked quietly.

"Halsin. He came back here after the Absolute crisis was averted."

Shadowheart nodded.

"Should have guessed, with all the flowers growing around," she said, looking around.

"I wish I could undo this," she said, her gaze sweeping over the graves.

"I know, but some things just can’t be repaired, no matter how much we want them to be," Tav said, squeezing her hand again.

"I’m a much stronger, more skilled cleric than I was back then. I know the spell to bring the dead back to life, but there is always a cost—a high one," Shadowheart said, barely registering Tav’s words.

"What are you talking about? They’ve been dead for years," Tav said.

"I don’t have enough to bring them all back, but I might be able to bring back one or two," Shadowheart muttered, rummaging through her backpack and pulling out four black diamonds, dark as a moonless night.

"There’s only enough for one," Shadowheart said, her face falling.

Shadowheart eyed Isobel’s grave, her expression growing determined.

"Well, that’s something, at least. And using Shar-touched diamonds to bring back a cleric of the sister she hates—now that’s divine justice," she muttered to herself.

Tav watched her, worry creasing her features.

"Shadowheart, what are you saying?" Tav asked.

"I have enough resources and magic to bring back one person here—the cleric of the Moonmaiden who protected this inn," Shadowheart explained. "Will you help me? It’s not a simple spell—it’s a ritual I need to set up."

Tav looked between her and the grave. She could see this was important to Shadowheart, and if she could really pull it off, it would be a small miracle.

"Okay," Tav said after a moment. "Of course I’ll help you."

"Good," Shadowheart said, her sadness replaced with determination for now. She took out incense and candles from her backpack and instructed Tav on how to start setting up the ritual circle.

"What is taking you two so long?" Astarion asked as he and Nocturne walked toward them.

"You two, start digging," Shadowheart said, pointing at Isobel's grave.

"What?" Nocturne asked, confused, but Shadowheart ignored her, already carving the necessary runes on the ground.

"She wants to bring the cleric of Selûne back, the one who watched over the inn before it was lost to the darkness," Tav explained.

"The little Moonmaid?" Astarion asked, confused. "Our cleric friend has gotten even more powerful since we last traveled together if she’s able to pull that off," he said, impressed.

Together they started to work on the ritual. Nocturne and Astarion dug up Isobel's body while Shadowheart drew the runes on the ground, already dimly glowing with divine power. Tav set candles around the circle and lit the incense, the thick, heady smell filling the air.

When Nocturne and Astarion were done, they carefully lifted the body, still wrapped in dirtied linens, out of the grave and moved it to the middle of the circle.

Shadowheart set up a makeshift altar and placed the diamonds as a sacrifice upon it.

"Now step back. It's time for me to complete the ritual," Shadowheart said.

She knelt before the body and the altar, her lips moving in a silent prayer, asking for the Lady of Silver to aid her in reversing the finality of death itself. She hesitated for a moment before speaking the prayer out loud, still unfamiliar with the intricacies of being a cleric connected to the Moonmaiden. But she knew what mattered most was that her words were honest, just as her intentions were.

"Lady of Silver, hear my prayer. I seek to undo the injustice I committed against your faithful. Grant me your strength to bring back this soul that was taken before her time. I beseech you, grant her passage back to the realm of the living."

"Let the chains of death loosen and break. Let the soul be free to choose her path," Shadowheart continued, the runes now brightly glowing with divine power.

Shadowheart's head shot upward, her eyes open and glowing, but unseeing in the material world.

Tav, Astarion, and Nocturne glanced at each other and then back at the powerful ritual being performed before their eyes.

Shadowheart felt the power of the ritual channel through her body and mind. Her consciousness instinctively reached through the veil separating the material world from the world of the dead, searching for Isobel's soul to bring it back.

"Isobel, cleric of Selûne, it is not your time yet," Shadowheart called. "Are you willing to return to us? To return to the land of the living? The world still has a need for your light."

Shadowheart waited for an answer, for a presence, but there was nothing. She only felt cold, void, and silence.

She tried again, giving it her all, searching, reaching out.

For a moment, she felt Isobel's presence faintly, and then something else—something rotten.

But then it was gone, as quickly as it had come, and there was just silence.

Shadowheart felt the ritual's magic waning, and the candles blew out. She stood up, her brows furrowed.

"What happened?" Tav asked softly, coming to stand beside her.

"I don’t know. First, I couldn’t feel her soul at all, and then just ever so faintly. I don’t know if she wasn’t willing to return or if there’s something else going on..." Shadowheart murmured, the stench of rot lingering in her senses.

"I see," Tav said empathetically. "You did what you could. That’s all anyone can ask of you."

Shadowheart nodded stiffly.

"The diamonds are still there," Tav observed.

"The ritual didn’t proceed far enough for them to be consumed," Shadowheart explained.

"Does that mean you could perform it again?" Tav asked.

"I could. Why?" Shadowheart responded.

"Jaheira also lies here—the high harper who aided us," Tav said.

"I see," Shadowheart replied, her voice strained as she turned to look at Jaheira's grave.

"I can try to bring her back, if that’s what you want," Shadowheart offered.

"I do. I talked with Nine Fingers Keene back in Baldur's Gate. She knew Jaheira. She told me Jaheira has a family—five adopted children. I... I was the one who brought them the news of their mother’s death," Tav explained in a quiet voice.

Shadowheart felt another pang of guilt—for Jaheira's children, and for putting Tav through the pain of delivering such news.

"Okay, I will try. But it seems I can’t guarantee anything," Shadowheart said.

Tav nodded solemnly.

"Dig another grave," Shadowheart ordered Astarion and Nocturne.

"What is this? A labor camp?" Astarion complained. "I thought we were supposed to be doing heroics and wringing some necks while we’re at it."

Shadowheart ignored him and began setting up the ritual again.

Time meant nothing anymore to Jaheira, not after she had been reunited with her beloved Khalid in the afterlife. She held his hand as they walked through a verdant forest, beneath the canopy of tall and ancient trees shimmering with light that seemed to come from within.

A soft wind made the leaves of the trees quiver, whispering memories from a life well-lived.

Khalid's hand felt warm in Jaheira's, and every moment, she was grateful to have been reunited with him. The grief that had gripped her heart through most of her life had been replaced with love and joy.

They were finally free from the struggles, trials, and battles that had defined both of their lives—Jaheira's even more so. She was content wandering the eternal forest with him, her soul intertwined with his, just as it had been while they lived.

Suddenly, Jaheira felt a disturbance in their peaceful existence, a ripple in the fabric of their reality. She stopped walking, her brow furrowing as she tried to make sense of this alien sensation.

There was a clear pull—something was pulling her away.

Jaheira turned to look at Khalid with uncertainty in her eyes.

"Do you feel that?" she asked.

"I do, my love. Someone is calling to you," Khalid said somberly.

"Jaheira... it isn't your time yet," a feminine voice called.

Jaheira's heart ached as Khalid had spoken the words she had already sensed.

"Are you willing to return to us? To return to the land of the living? The world still has a need for your light," the voice called again.

Jaheira had finally found peace here with him, away from the endless struggles of the material plane. But the pull grew stronger and stronger, harder to ignore.

She tried to close her eyes and shut out the voice, but it was no use. The plea was strong. She saw images of her children, still in the material world, each needing her in their own way—and she had already been gone for too long.

And the world always needed saving.

A sense of duty tugged at her, but it brought profound sadness. She turned to look at her Khalid, torn between this world and the other.

"How can I leave you, huh? We fought so long to be reunited... how can I abandon that now?" she asked.

"You are still needed elsewhere, Jaheira. We both know it," he said softly, cupping her face with his hands.

"I cannot lose you, not again," Jaheira said, choking up.

"You will not lose me. I will always be with you, in your heart, in your memories, until your time truly comes, and we will be reunited again," he said.

Jaheira took a deep breath, a single tear escaping down her cheek.

"I will return, for the sake of my children and the work that still needs to be done," she finally said, touching his cheek with her fingers.

"I will be waiting for you here," Khalid promised.

"I know. And the day I return to you will not be one of sorrow over my death, but one of joy, knowing I've done all I can and it is time to be united again," Jaheira said, leaning in to kiss him one more time before letting go.

Jaheira's soul finally answered the call, and the world around her began to fade away.

"I love you," Jaheira murmured and Khalid smiled at her nodding and mouthing the words back at her.

She watched as Khalid's face slowly faded until it was replaced by a raven-haired half-elven woman with a prominent scar and hazel-green eyes, bearing such deep sadness that it took Jaheira a moment to realize she had met this woman before. The Sharran.

She looked around and saw three other people standing around a ritual circle, all eyes on her in awe. She recognized having met two of them before.

"Can someone explain why you dragged me back here, or are you just going to gawk at me all day?" she asked, annoyance clear in her voice.

Chapter Text

"So, what you're saying is that you made things worse around here, but then you also fixed some things and ultimately stopped the threat of the Absolute?" Jaheira asked after Tav and Shadowheart had spent a good while explaining what took place after the inn was overtaken by shadows.

"That's the gist of it," Tav replied.

"And I’ve remained dead for four years… just like the others?" Jaheira's voice was laced with disbelief, to which Tav nodded solemnly.

Shadowheart looked away, unable to face the Harper’s intense gaze.

"And now you're back, trying to correct your past mistakes?" Jaheira pressed on, her attention shifting toward Shadowheart.

"Yes... yes, I am," Shadowheart replied, forcing herself to meet Jaheira's eyes, despite the guilt weighing heavily on her.

"I suppose that’s commendable,” Jaheira said, her voice cool, “but a lot of good people died because of you. That’s not something easily fixed—if it ever can be."

"I know..." Shadowheart's voice wavered slightly. "Every death weighs on me. But I’m here now, and I will do what I can. After failing to resurrect Isobel, bringing you back was my first step. Now, we’re on our way to the Gauntlet of Shar."

"And why would you go back in there?" Jaheira inquired, suspicion flickering in her eyes.

"I’ve promised Selûne I would to retrieve the body of her daughter from Shar's domain, the Shadowfell. In the Gauntlet, there’s an entrance to the Shadowfell," Shadowheart explained, her voice steady, but the underlying pain clear.

Jaheira fell quiet for a moment, taking a slow sip from the canteen Tav had offered her. The tension between them was palpable to everyone else watching them.

"You really believe it was the Moonmaiden's daughter that you killed down there?" Jaheira asked, her tone skeptical.

"Shar herself revealed her identity to me when I still served her," Shadowheart admitted, her voice low. "Slaying her caused the shield around the Last Light Inn to fail, and Selûne’s grief... it’s what led to everyone’s death." Her voice cracked as she continued, unable to suppress the emotion. "That’s why everyone here died."

Jaheira stared at her for a long, silent moment. Tav could feel the tension rising, afraid the Harper’s anger was about to boil over. The seconds dragged on as if the air itself had grown thicker. Then, unexpectedly, Jaheira pressed her lips into a thin line, holding back whatever harsh words had come to mind.

Tav’s eyes flicked to Shadowheart, who held Jaheira’s gaze with a mixture of regret, sorrow, and unshakable resolve.

"Shar’s Chosen, who managed to abandon her goddess and live to tell the tale," Jaheira said, her tone hard. "Now, here you are, on a quest to set right your crimes. Quite the story of redemption you’re spinning for me."

Shadowheart remained silent, her expression unwavering, her gaze steady and resolute.

Jaheira exhaled slowly, weighing her words carefully. "Perhaps…" she said after what felt like an eternity. "Perhaps you’ve earned yourself a second chance. But remember this: a lot of good people died, and if you falter, ex-Sharran, I will be watching."

Shadowheart nodded slowly, the weight of Jaheira’s words settling over her like a cloak.

"And I'm coming with you to this gauntlet, to see for myself what your mettle truly is," Jaheira continued, her tone leaving no room for arguments.

Tav blinked in surprise. "You really want to come with us, Jaheira?"

"I do," Jaheira replied firmly. "Now, let’s get moving. I think there’s been enough gawking to last us through the rest of the year."

With that, the group gathered their belongings and set off.

"You can have my horse, Jaheira," Tav offered, noticing how the Harper still seemed weakened from her recent resurrection.

Jaheira looked like she was about to bite back with something sharp, but instead, she silently took the reins and mounted the horse without a word.

"Tav, ride with me," Shadowheart said, extending her hand.

Tav hesitated for a moment before taking it. As she mounted the horse and settled behind Shadowheart, her body reacted instantly to the proximity. The warmth of Shadowheart’s back against her chest sent a shiver down her spine.

"This is very distracting," Tav whispered into Shadowheart's ear.

"Perhaps we can afford it; the way to the Gauntlet should be quite safe this time around," Shadowheart whispered back with a small smirk as she felt Tav's arms wrap around her waist for support.

"Perhaps," Tav agreed and settled into the feeling of being so close to Shadowheart.

Part of her wished she could whisk Shadowheart away. Away from petty gods. Away from all the troubles. Just time for the two of them. Time to get to know each other again, to catch up, to make new memories, and explore this new connection.

Immediately, she felt guilty for entertaining such thoughts. They were on a mission to make past wrongs right, to at least try to set things right.

Whether or not Tav liked it, she had played a part in the events leading here—first by letting herself die in the crucial battle back in the Shadowfell, then by being unable to convince Shadowheart to turn away from Shar and spare her parents. Even after that, she hadn't been able to break through Shar's indoctrination.

And still, she had kept seeing Shadowheart, driven by guilt. By selfish needs. By an unshakable need for her. And yet, every stolen moment had felt like salvation. A fleeting respite in the endless loneliness that her life had been after the Absolute crisis. A stubborn hope things could change and they could be together some day.

Even after knowing that Shadowheart was doing unsavory things as Mother Superior, Tav had chosen to ignore it all, and now it gnawed at her conscience.

Tav shifted, unconsciously pulling away. Shadowheart felt it instantly—the sudden coolness where Tav’s warmth had been. Shadowheart turned her head to the side a bit, sensing the change in Tav's mood, but she said nothing. Tav noticed her shoulders slump slightly as she refocused on the road, her hands tightening ever so slightly on the reins.

Tav felt guilty again as she saw her reaction. Why did the feelings have to be so conflicting? Why did the situation have to be so conflicted?

Her mind returned to the conversation they had had the night before and the conversation with Astarion before that.

"It's not easy to pick up the pieces and try to carry on after something like what she has experienced," his words echoed in her head.

Of course, Tav knew that was true too. She might not know every single thing Shadowheart was made to endure during her forty years of captivity with the Sharrans, but she knew enough to realize it was a miracle that even a sliver of light remained within her.

The woman before her was resilient, and she had done the impossible in the end—escaped from Shar’s embrace.

Tav’s mind drifted to memories from when they had been on the road together, those first tender yet so fragile moments when Shadowheart had decided to trust her and share vulnerable parts of herself with Tav.

The underground Zhentarim hideout had been the last place Tav had expected to come face-to-face with wolves, but there they were, multiple snarling beasts baring their teeth at them.

But what surprised her even more was the terror she saw in Shadowheart’s face—frozen in place, almost shaking. Tav had immediately moved next to her and guided her away from the wolves and the prying eyes of their companions and bandits loitering about.

Shadowheart took deep breaths as Tav waited patiently for her to regain her bearings.

Finally, Shadowheart turned to face Tav, and Tav was taken aback by the sad and vulnerable expression on Shadowheart’s face. It was perhaps the most raw and honest she had ever seen the Sharran.

"I suppose you've noticed I'm not terribly fond of wolves. I've always been terrified of them, ever since I was a child. I showed you a memory of when I was lost in the woods. It can hardly come as a surprise," Shadowheart said, her voice soft, almost hesitant.

"The Mother Superior wasn’t above using it against me. If I disobeyed, sometimes instead of a whipping, she'd threaten to drag me to a wolf den. Never failed to bring me back in line." Her voice became more strained, and her expression looked even more pained.

"Why is it always the bad memories I can still recall...?" Shadowheart questioned, perhaps more to herself than to Tav.

The conversation had ended with Tav promising to avoid wolves whenever possible in the future and Shadowheart expressing her gratitude. It was a moment of startling realization for Tav—how little kindness Shadowheart had known. No gentle hands, no soft words, not even the most basic decency. She seemed to expect the worst from people she met.

Back then, Tav hadn’t been as soft as she was now. She had been hardened by life, distrustful of people. Still Tav had silently vowed, as she looked into those sad, fearful eyes, that she would be different. She would be the one to show Shadowheart that the world wasn’t just cruelty. That there was love and warmth, too. Tav swore she would always be by her side and protect her from more than just wolves.

Tav’s mind drifted to another memory, one Shadowheart had shared through the tadpole connecting them. The little girl in the woods, kidnapped and condemned to a life of misery because a goddess was petty and wanted to get back at her sister by turning a child of her faithful from the light to darkness.

To be dragged away from loving parents at that age, to be made to believe they had died, and then punished, indoctrinated, and mind-wiped again and again for decades... Tav could hardly imagine what Shadowheart’s life had been like.

Tav hadn’t had a loving home, but at least it had been her decision to leave before she came to age, to run away from the marriage that had been arranged for her. And despite the hardships that had followed, she had always been able to make her own decisions, no matter how bad they sometimes turned out.

Tav had had freedom. Shadowheart had not.

Shadowheart turned to look at Tav and gave her a little, unsure smile. For a moment, Tav could see the eight-year-old Shadowheart in her place. Tav returned the smile before Shadowheart turned her gaze back to the road.

For a fleeting moment, Tav wished Viconia was still alive. Just so she could kill her again. Slower, this time. But even as the thought surfaced, Tav knew it was hollow. Vengeance never healed anything. It only left hearts feeling colder, souls emptier.

It was better to move on and keep living—thriving, even—despite it all. That was truly the best revenge against those who had wronged you.

Tav leaned closer to Shadowheart again, unsure whether she was offering comfort to Shadowheart or trying to comfort herself and her tumultuous emotions.

For the rest of the way to the Mausoleum, Tav was lost deep in her thoughts and memories of the past: both their shared time together and her own life. She hardly noticed the changes in the former Shadow-cursed lands, the place now almost unrecognizable with all the greenery and the sun shining in the brilliant blue sky.

The scent of leather mixed with Shadowheart’s faint fragrance of incense and lime filled Tav’s senses. The steady rhythm of the horse’s hooves was a soothing contrast to her turbulent thoughts, bringing her a small respite.

They halted as the mausoleum loomed ahead, its dark stone walls rising ominously from the earth like a forgotten relic. It felt like shadows gathered at the entrance, a reminder of the horrors that waited inside.

"The Sharrans thrive in darkness, but it might still be beneficial for us to wait for dusk to settle in. It would make our approach harder to spot," Shadowheart mused as she looked toward the mausoleum entrance.

"I agree," Tav murmured, and the group hitched the horses out of sight, settling in to wait for the sun to set.

"There’s no way they’ve had time to repair the entrance to the mausoleum. The journey from Baldur's Gate to here takes too long, and they haven’t been here for that long yet," Shadowheart said, pacing back and forth as they waited. "They’ve probably trapped the entrance," she continued.

"Then Astarion and I should go first. We’ll move stealthily, disarm any traps we find, and if there are guards, we’ll take care of them," Tav said.

Shadowheart paused, immediately tensing at the thought of letting Tav go into a dangerous situation without her.

"I’ll come with you," Shadowheart said.

"No way," Astarion scoffed, his lips curling into a smirk. "You may have 'shadow' in your name, but your armor is so loud it’ll wake the dead before we even step inside."

"I can cast magic to enhance all of our stealthiness. They’ll never see us coming, but I’ll need to be near you for it to be in effect," Shadowheart argued.

Before Astarion had time to protest, Tav intervened by saying, "Fine, the three of us will go then."

Shadowheart turned away and let out a small sigh of relief. Her anxiety had grown with each step closer to the Thorm Mausoleum and the Gauntlet of Shar, and the thought of letting Tav anywhere near the Sharrans alone gripped her with fierce worry.

Some time later, the last rays of the sun shone on the horizon, and Shadowheart donned her old Dark Justiciar armor. It had started to feel strange to wear the armor now, after everything, but it offered good protection and still had functioning enchantments, boosting her battle prowess.

Shadowheart had a feeling they would need all the help they could get.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the world into twilight, the trio crept toward the mausoleum. The silence around them was oppressive, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves or distant cry of a nocturnal bird. Shadowheart’s spell shrouded them in a veil of shadow, but each step felt heavier, as if the darkness itself were pulling them toward the entrance.

Once they reached the entrance, they stopped. Just as she had predicted, the doors hadn’t been fixed, and there were no clear barricades. That meant only one thing—there would be traps.

"We need to be careful," Tav whispered.

"I see the trap. It goes all the way over here," Astarion called, starting to work on it.

Meanwhile, Tav checked for additional traps at the entrance, and it looked like the entire area had been trapped.

"If you get the alarm trap disarmed, we might be able to just move past the other traps if we step carefully," Tav whispered, and Astarion nodded as he finished his work.

"I can also see at least two guards deeper in the mausoleum. They seem to be in the middle of a conversation, there in the shadows," Shadowheart pointed out.

Like shadows, the two rogues entered the mausoleum, deftly avoiding the traps and keeping out of sight as Shadowheart waited with bated breath.

For a moment, even she lost sight of them, but then she spotted them getting into position.

Shadowheart watched as Astarion and Tav simultaneously took down two guards, their blades sliding across unsuspecting throats, the bodies landing on the floor with a soft thump.

She observed as Tav and Astarion exchanged victorious nods, but something caught her eye—a third Sharran, hidden in a shadowed corner, no doubt waiting for a chance to strike.

Reacting instinctively, Shadowheart cast a guiding bolt at the Sharran. The radiant bolt streaked through the gloom, its light flickering against the stone walls before it struck the Sharran. The figure writhed as sacred flames licked at their form, the smell of burning fabric and flesh mingling with the damp, cold air of the mausoleum. She watched as the sacred flame consumed the figure, who perished with agonized cries of pain.

Tav and Astarion turned toward the source of the sound, surprised, and Tav gave her a thumbs up.

Shadowheart stepped into the mausoleum, her eyes scanning the space. After they secured the main room and the smaller spaces attached to it, Astarion murmured with a grin, "Let's see if they have anything worth taking."

"Fine," Tav agreed.

The stale air of the mausoleum clung to her skin, damp and cold, while the faint scent of mildew and decay lingered in every breath. Shadows danced along the stone walls as their torches flickered in the oppressive silence.

Shadowheart approached the third body—the one she had killed. While the person’s clothes had burned and melted, their small pouch remained unharmed. Shadowheart opened it and found a few coins, a bottle of poison, and a folded piece of parchment.

She unfolded the parchment, her brow furrowing as she read:

"Father, I was so excited when Mother Superior assigned me to this mission, for I was sure being on the move would give me an opportunity to finally escape, but it has proven nigh impossible. They hold us on a tight leash. I wish I had never donned the dark robe. I wish I had come back home. Now I fear I will never be able to escape. If this letter ever finds its way into your hands, it means I’m dead. I’m sorry that we argued, sorry for the things I said. I didn’t mean any of it. I wish I could take it all back."

Shadowheart’s hands dropped to her sides, and the letter fell to the floor. She turned to look at the body again. It had burned so badly that it was unrecognizable, but the robe indicated they had been a novice.

A memory surfaced—a young man, almost a boy, who had come to them, declaring his desire to walk in Shar’s shadows. She had doubted he would last long, so shy and crestfallen had he been. But people served Shar in different ways, and since he survived the initiation, she had allowed him to stay.

Had he been hiding, scared for his life, instead of preparing to attack? A wave of nausea swept over her.

She had once been like him—young, lost, and desperate for belonging. But unlike her, he'd never had the chance to escape. The bolt she’d sent had not just snuffed out his life, but also any hope he had left. A part of her wondered if, in another world, that could have been her lying there.

"Shadowheart?" Tav called from behind her.

She heard Tav pick up the letter, most likely reading it. Shadowheart closed her eyes, trying to push away the flood of emotions.

So much senseless violence, all her life, and there seemed to be no end in sight.

Her pulse raced. Every second she lingered here was a second wasted—time that could cost them their lives if they weren’t careful. She forced her thoughts back into the present, focusing on the mission ahead.

"Shadowheart..." Tav said with a soft voice that made Shadowheart's chest tighten.

"No point dwelling on it, Tav. We need to focus," she said, her voice firmer than she felt. "There are still seventeen left, and we're not safe yet.

Shadowheart marched toward the room that led to the secret entrance to the Gauntlet.

Tav could see the strain tightening Shadowheart's features, the conflict that simmered beneath her calm exterior. She worried how long Shadowheart could keep it all together before it finally broke her. They were in a though place now, getting into an enemy territory and Tav struggled finding ways to help her.

"Astarion, can you fetch Nocturne and Jaheira? We'll secure the rest of the place."

"My pleasure, dear," he said, walking back to the broken main doors.

Tav followed Shadowheart, trying to think of something to say, but didn’t get the chance before Shadowheart pointed out a trap at the secret entrance that led to the disc lift down into the Gauntlet.

Shadowheart seemed preoccupied, inspecting a nearby tomb. Tav passed her and began working on the trap. This one wasn’t designed to alert anyone, just to hurt whoever tried to bypass the secret entrance.

Tav carefully laid out her disarming tools and began to work. After a good while, she finally untrapped it. Wiping sweat from her forehead, she stood up.

"Tav, come look at this," Shadowheart called out.

Tav turned to see Shadowheart still standing by the tomb.

"What is it?" she asked, approaching her.

Her eyes landed on a plaque that Shadowheart had cleaned, revealing the name "Isobel Thorm."

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The air inside the mausoleum felt thick, almost suffocating, as the weight of their discovery settled around them.

"How did we not notice this the last time we passed through here?" Tav asked.

"We must’ve been too preoccupied with the puzzle in this room," Shadowheart said, staring at the name. "Do you think this could be the same Isobel who protected the Last Light Inn? The one we just tried to resurrect?"

"How could it be?" Tav murmured, tilting her head in thought. "This plaque says she died over a hundred years ago. She was very much alive when we met her."

"I know... but isn't it too much of a coincidence? Isobel is a cleric of Selûne, and Moonrise Towers were built by Ketheric Thorm when he still followed Selûne..." Shadowheart trailed off.

Tav shifted her weight, trying to recall what she knew of the Thorm family. "We found out Ketheric turned to Shar only after losing both his wife and daughter. I guess it’s possible."

"And if Isobel had already died once, if she had already been resurrected somehow... maybe that has something to do with why our spell didn’t work," Shadowheart said, uncertainty clear in her voice.

Their thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the others approaching. Tav and Shadowheart showed their findings to the rest of the group.

"Jaheira, you knew Isobel better than we did. Do you think she could have been Ketheric Thorm’s daughter?" Tav asked.

"I do not know. I never cared about her past—just her willingness to keep us all alive," Jaheira replied with a shrug. "Besides, what difference does it make now? What’s done is done."

"I agree with the Harper," Astarion added, nodding toward the secret entrance, already fiddling with the hilt of his dagger. "Shall we move on?"

Tav watched as the others gathered by the secret entrance, but her gaze drifted back to Shadowheart, still standing by the tomb, eyes fixed on the plaque. The weight of the other cleric’s fate seemed to press down on her, anchoring her in place, even as the rest of them moved forward.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Astarion tossed a black garment at her.

"I procured this from the corpses in the other room," he said. "I reckon the only way to do this quietly is for you and me to take the elevator down and deal with whatever guards are waiting below."

Tav nodded.

"And after that, we’ll scout the place, find where everyone is and where they’ve set up camp," she continued.

Their plan was met with protest from Shadowheart, who wanted to come along again, but this time Tav managed to convince her it would be better if the rogues handled it.

The whole time Tav and Astarion were gone, Shadowheart paced back and forth restlessly, occasionally stopping to listen for any sounds before continuing her pacing.

Nocturne looked at her with a worried expression, while Jaheira stared at her with one eyebrow raised.

"No trust in your team then?" Jaheira asked, her words as biting as ever.

Shadowheart stopped and faced her. "It's not that, it's just that..." Her words died on her lips. There was no way she would explain her situation with Tav to the Harper. She wouldn't understand, or if she did, she wouldn't care.

She was spared from having to explain herself by the sound of the elevator activating and descending back up. She sighed in relief as she saw Tav alive and well, along with Astarion, no worse for wear save for a few drops of blood on her face.

"How did it go?" Shadowheart hurried to ask.

"There were two guards down there," Tav said.

Astarion smirked, wiping the last trace of blood from his mouth. "Our charming little robes fooled them just long enough for some quick knife and fang work."

"They're dealt with; there's no one else in the area where you enter the Gauntlet now, where the lift that will take us to the lower level and the entrance to the Shadowfell is," Tav said.

"The Vestiges of Shadows," Shadowheart whispered.

Tav nodded.

"There's nothing on the right side, you know with the demon Raphael wanted us to kill so he would reveal my old master's plan?" Astarion started, and Shadowheart nodded. "The bridge there is even more collapsed than before, with no way to cross it."

"So what was left was the whole side area," Tav continued.

"It was pretty empty if you ask me," Astarion chipped in.

"Nothing and no one in the library or where the trials are," Tav continued.

"We found that very suspect."

"So we were on high alert as we went around the place, disarming any traps we could find," Tav continued their explanation. "There was only one room left after that."

"The place where, as you so eloquently put it, Shadowheart—the 'gasbag' and his skeleton friends were when we were here last time," Astarion concluded.

"So, you think they're all there?" Shadowheart asked.

"They must be. They're nowhere else, and there are more traps that way," Tav said. "We couldn't confirm it; there’s not a good angle to approach the place without being seen, so we thought it better to go there with a group and not get caught with just the two of us."

"What stops us from just marching to the elevator?" Shadowheart asked. "Let them cower in their Lady's beloved shadows."

"They have deactivated the elevator. The balls of Shar, or whatever those things are called, are gone," Astarion explained.

"Most likely held by the Sharrans," Tav added.

"I would go so far as to say we are walking into a trap," Jaheira said dryly.

Tav nodded.

"They must know we are coming if they have all retreated there. That I'm here, but how..." Shadowheart muttered, pausing to look at the incurable wound on her hand.

She thought back to how precisely Nighbringer had tracked them down when they were on the road to Waterdeep. Maybe that incident alone could be explained away, but then the spy had immediately found them in the Waterdeep market, and now this.

"I think Shar knows exactly where I am, all the time, because of this," Shadowheart said, extending her right hand. A cold shiver ran down her spine at the thought.

" As long as one Sharran lives, you’ll never know peace. Our Lady will have her due ," the Sharran spy's words lingered in her mind.

She would never be able to escape from Shar's grasp. It settled in the pit of her stomach like a cold stone.

A heavy silence followed. The others exchanged tense glances. There was an even deeper understanding between Tav and Nocturne—it was clear to them that Shadowheart was teetering on the brink. Tav stepped forward, her hand gently clasping Shadowheart's. The simple gesture seemed to ground Shadowheart a bit.

"You mean because of the curse in your hand?" Tav asked.

Shadowheart nodded, the heaviness of her realization weighing her down.

"I know this is big," Tav started to say, squeezing her hand harder and keeping her words low so the others couldn't hear them.

"But we can't do anything about it right now," Tav continued.

Shadowheart nodded and tried to calm down.

Neither of them had noticed Nocturne had stepped closer.

"Maybe that wizard friend of yours can come up with something once we get back," Nocturne suggested. "He at least seemed to think himself pretty smart."

"Maybe," Shadowheart said and took a deep breath.

Shadowheart tried to push the realization out of her mind. She knew she was needed fully here, in this moment. Her senses needed to be sharp to deal with the ambush she knew they were walking into.

The weight of her guilt settled over her like a suffocating shroud. Every step they took in this Gauntlet was because of her—a relentless attempt to undo the damage she'd caused.

It was also her faul that the Sharrans were here, she had sent them here when she had still been loyal to Shar. Now here they were waiting, preparing. And now her friends were walking straight into it.

She felt like crumbling under all the pressure, but she knew she couldn't. The least she could do was make sure everyone would survive, and she had the skills to better their chances. So, she pushed it all away and concentrated on the task ahead.

One by one, they stepped onto the magical disc-shaped elevator that would take them down to the Gauntlet of Shar.

To Shadowheart's eyes, nothing much had changed in the Gauntlet. It still lay in shadows as it always had. The darkness of the place was kept at bay only by the ever-burning magical light that suffused the area.

As the elevator descended deeper into the abyss, Shadowheart whispered the incantation for Pass Without Trace, the familiar magic coiling around them like a blanket. Even the faintest echo of their footsteps seemed to be swallowed by the darkness of the Gauntlet.

"There are two entrances to the place. I think we should use that to our advantage," Tav murmured as they stepped out of the elevator, arriving at the entrance to the Gauntlet.

It was quickly decided that Astarion and Tav would go around through the dining hall and come in with a surprise attack from the side, while Shadowheart, Nocturne, and Jaheira would start a head-on attack from the main corridor.

This time, it was Tav who protested more about being separated from Shadowheart, fearing they would struggle with the traps without the rogues. But she knew they needed the stealthiest ones for the side ambush.

With heavy hearts, Tav and Shadowheart exchanged lingering looks before heading in different directions. The tension hung in the air, thick and palpable, as they ventured into the depths of the Gauntlet.

Tav and Astarion moved as one with the shadows, swiftly closing in on the other entrance. No one was standing guard outside, but they were certain there would be people behind the locked doors.

"I'm willing to bet this one is trapped as well," Tav muttered, inspecting the door.

"I see it. There," Astarion whispered, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “Ah, our usual friend, the alarm trap. How predictable.”

"You deal with the lock. I'll handle this," Tav said, pulling out her disarm kit once again.

Sweat began to bead on her temples as she worked. The pressure of time weighed on her—she needed to get into position before the others were discovered, and it made her hands tremble slightly. The little shake was almost enough to ruin everything but she quickly paused to take a deep breath.

"Steady," she reminded herself, trying to get the shake in her hands to calm down. Tav continued slowly, finally managing to slide the tool in the right place and finish the job with a graceful flick of her wrist.

Tav let out a sigh of relief, her muscles unclenching. She glanced at Astarion, who had just unlocked the door with a soft, satisfied click.

"I hope they didn't hear that," he murmured. "Ready?"

Tav nodded as she drew her bow and nocked an arrow, setting it against the string and taking aim while Astarion smoothly opened the door.

The guard in the next room was leaning against the wall, looking bored and inattentive. He didn’t stand a chance as the door opened in one smooth, silent swing and Tav let the arrow go in sync with Astarion's movements. The arrow flew true, sinking into the guard’s eye with deadly precision.

“Bull’s eye,” Tav whispered as the body slumped to the ground, “Though it looks more like a human eye to me,” Tav continued with a low chuckle, earning a groan and an eye roll from Astarion.

They stepped inside, noticing that the next door, leading to the actual chamber, was shut as well. Tav glared at the statue of Shar, which stared back at them from the altar tucked in one corner.

"Shadowheart said she'd message me magically when they're about to attack," Tav reminded Astarion, taking position near the lever that would open the door.

"I remember," he mumbled as he started to check the door for any traps.

Suddenly, a loud explosion rang out from the chamber beyond.

“Seems there's been a change of plans,” Astarion remarked.

“Fuck!” Tav muttered, pulling the lever.

“Wait! There’s a trap!” Astarion hissed just as an alarm sounded. “Well, so much for our ambush,” he said dryly, drawing his weapons with an elegant flourish. He stepped into the chaos of the next room, Tav close behind, drawing her dagger and sword as she went.

The nearby Sharrans spun toward the sound of the alarm, eyes wide, but Tav was quicker. Her dagger slid into one Sharran’s ribs, while another let out a choked cry as Astarion’s arrow sank into his throat. They quickly melted back into the shadows, seeking better positions.

On the other side of the chamber, Shadowheart, Nocturne, and Jaheira were fully engaged in battle with the Sharrans—a chaotic mix of weapons and magic clashing in the confined space.

Nocturne swung her mace, bringing it down on the Sharrans relentlessly, while Jaheira's spell seemed to drain the last drops of moisture from the air as it prepared to discharge. Lightning arced as it struck a group of Sharrans, illuminating the chaos with a flash and a loud roar as the power of the magic left them dead and scattered on the floor.

Shadowheart stepped into the middle of the fray, her eyes darted across the battlefield, desperate for any sign of Tav.

“Traitor!”

“Disgrace!”

The shouts broke through Shadowheart's thoughts. Her former congregation spat the words at her as they charged, weapons drawn. She could see apprehension, confusion, and even fear in their eyes, but they approached her anyway—there was no doubt what Shar’s will was.

“You abandoned Shar! How could you? Our own Mother Superior turned out to be the most foul traitor!” one of them cried out.

“I might have chosen the light,” Shadowheart declared, her voice echoing in the dimly lit chamber, her face a mask of resolve. “But I know how to deal with darkness,” she continued, raising her hand.

With a sharp incantation, radiant light burst from her outstretched hand, searing the air. Ethereal guardian spirits rose around her, glowing with bright golden light, swirling like a protective storm.

Fear flickered in the eyes of the Sharrans as they saw the divine wrath of Selûne, but still they charged as Shar willed them. The first few were torn apart by the radiant flames, their screams echoing through the chamber. The others still pressed on. One raised his weapon, only to have it deflected by Shadowheart’s shield. Another met her blade in a clash of steel.

Close by, Nocturne wielded her mace with precision, smashing it into the side of a Sharran’s head, sending him crashing into the stone wall. She whirled around, her hand crossbow firing a bolt into the chest of another Sharran attacking Shadowheart.

Now having more room to maneuver, Shadowheart engaged the remaining Sharran, who charged at her with a mace. She raised her shield to block the blow, the impact reverberating through her arm. But she gritted her teeth, keeping her shield up.

The oppressive darkness was dragging Shadowheart down as the Sharrans constantly cast their dark magic to haunt her, to hurt her, but she fought it with every strike of her sword, every incantation of Selûne’s light. Shadowheart’s radiant light carved sharp, jagged streaks through the gloom, casting strange shadows that seemed to writhe like living things.

The Sharran before her was slow, telegraphing the next swing, and Shadowheart took advantage. She slashed at the attacker’s hand, causing him to wince and hesitate, enough for her to follow up with a shield bash, knocking the Sharran to the ground with a heavy thud. Shadowheart loomed over the Sharran and stabbed her sword through his throat before he had time to react.

Shadowheart quickly scanned the battlefield, her eyes catching Nocturne and Astarion in the distance. Both moved swiftly, loosing arrows with deadly precision as the Sharrans scrambled for cover, while returning fire. Bolts of energy and arrows sliced through the air, crackling against stone and splintering wood.

Nearby, Jaheira stood her ground, her hands raised as thick, thorny vines erupted from the ground, wrapping around the legs of several Sharrans. They struggled and thrashed, weapons slipping from their grasp as the vines tightened, dragging them to the earth.

Her eyes searched again, this time finding Tav in trouble—two Sharrans had Tav cornered, driving her back against the wall. She saw the Sharrans casting darkness around them, obscuring the attackers and Tav from sight.

It was all too familiar, bringing to mind the night they were ambushed on the road not so long ago. Fear surged through Shadowheart, gripping her chest.

Not again. I won’t let this happen again.

With a panicked call of her magic, she cast light on where she last saw Tav, dissipating the darkness.

“Tav, be careful!” she shouted, following up the light by casting Sanctuary on Tav, who blinked in confusion as the magical shield enveloped her.

The Sharrans turned to Shadowheart instead. Her concentration on the guardian spirits wavered and then was gone, the glow of the guardians slowly fading away, leaving her exposed.

“I had it!” Tav yelled, frustration etched across her face.

The Sharrans charged, their weapons a blur as Shadowheart was forced to retreat, parrying and dodging their relentless assault. She blocked a spear with her shield, deflected a dagger with her sword, but she was outnumbered. Her concentration was fully on the assaulters and she didn't notice a new enemy materializing out of darkness.

“Shadowheart, on your right!” Tav’s voice cut through the chaos.

But it was too late. Shadowheart gasped as she felt the cold steel of a blade sink into her side. The enemy clearly knew exactly where the weak points in her Dark Justiciar armor lay.

She turned her head, pain flashing across her face. Her gaze met the cruel, piercing eyes of a Dark Justiciar staring at her from behind the intimidating helmet.

The leader of the group she had sent here.

Tav threw a dagger at the Dark Justiciar, forcing her to to parry it with her sword and take a step away from Shadowheart. Then with a roar Tav engaged the two Sharrans who had pressed on Shadowheart before, making sure Shadowheart only had the Justiciar to deal with.

“Mother Superior, how nice of you to come and witness our progress,” the Dark Justiciar hissed, turning her attention back to Shadowheart, sarcasm dripping like poison from her lips.

“Dark Justiciar Vhaelia,” Shadowheart growled. “I think we both know by now that unlike you, I don’t grovel before Shar anymore.”

Vhaelia narrowed her eyes, raising her sword high, preparing to strike. Shadowheart dodged while whispering a quick healing spell to stop the bleeding from the wound the Dark Justiciar had just given her.

Shadowheart’s focus wavered between Vhaelia and Tav as she saw more Sharrans approaching. From the shadows, Astarion emerged to support Tav, standing back to back with her as the enemies closed in.

“Shadowheart, we’ve got this. Focus, or you’re going to get yourself killed!” Tav’s voice rang out, sharp and urgent.

Shadowheart saw the rest of the Sharrans swarming Tav and Astarion, and she itched to help them, but she knew she couldn't distract herself or Tav. She just had to try to trust that Tav would be able to take care of herself. She felt a bit better as she saw Nocturne joining Astarion and Tav as well, evening out the numbers.

Vhaelia moved like the shadow itself—swift, brutal, and relentless. Her blade sang as it crashed into Shadowheart’s shield, sending shockwaves up her arm.

“You’ve grown weak,” Vhaelia hissed, pressing her attack. “Shar gave you unimaginable power, and you threw it away for what? A life in the light?”

"Shar can keep her lies, darkness and misery," Shadowheart retorted, thrusting her shield forward, forcing Vhaelia to step back. "I will never kneel to her again."

Shadowheart gritted her teeth, parrying Vhaelia’s next strike with a fierce swipe of her sword. Their swords crashed together with a loud clanging sound, sending sparks into the air at the contact. The blades scraped and slid until Vhaelia suddenly side stepped out of Shadowheart's reach, making Shadowheart's sword swipe at the air, but Shadowheart quickly recovered and whipped around to face her again.

Her attention was split, her heart clenching every time her eyes darted toward Tav. She knew Tav could handle herself, but that knowledge didn’t quiet the storm of emotions that surged within her. Her need to shield Tav was becoming a distraction, and she couldn’t afford to be distracted.

Vhaelia’s eyes also flicked to Tav, who was dispatching a Sharran nearby. "Is that your precious lover? The one you just fussed over like a mother over her babe. Is it true, then, that you abandoned our Lady for something as pathetic as love?" Vhaelia’s wicked smile curled as she swung her sword with newfound ferocity, forcing Shadowheart back.

"None of your business," Shadowheart spat, her pulse quickening.

"You won’t be able to protect her. Shar will take everything from you and remind you that the only constant in life is loss," Vhaelia said, her voice almost a whisper in the heat of the battle.

“I won’t let that happen,” Shadowheart growled, calling on her cleric powers. Glowing light erupted from her hand as she cast Guiding Bolt, sending a beam of radiant energy toward Vhaelia.

The Dark Justiciar was ready—she raised her blade, and a barrier of shadows absorbed the magic, twisting the light into nothing.

“You may wield the Moonbitch's light now, but you still carry Shar's darkness in your soul. You can’t escape her,” Vhaelia taunted, stepping closer.

Shadowheart’s breath came in ragged bursts as their blades clashed again. The darkness in Vhaelia’s strikes was oppressive, seeping into the very air around them. For a moment, doubt crept in—her nightmares flickered through her mind. Shar’s shadow was still within her, waiting for her to make a mistake, to die, and then consume her.

Shar’s whispers still curled in the back of her mind, a darkness that lingered, never fully leaving. She nearly faltered, her breath catching. Was Vhaelia right? Could she ever truly be free?

But then her eyes flicked to Tav, fighting fiercely beside Astarion and Nocturne. She couldn't let Vhaelia distract her, couldn't let the fear consume her. She clung to the light Selûne had granted to her, she clung to the love she felt for Tav and the friendship she shared with the others.

She wasn't Shar's anymore. She had something much more precious to protect and fight for.

With a shout, Shadowheart summoned the power of Selûne again, the radiant energy surging through her sword. She struck out with newfound determination, her blade glowing with holy light.

This time, when she swung at Vhaelia, the Dark Justiciar’s shadows recoiled. Vhaelia staggered back, momentarily blinded by the brilliance of Shadowheart’s strike.

The Dark Justiciar growled and cast darkness around them, but Shadowheart countered it swiftly by casting Daylight on the area, dispelling the darkness and making a constant light to be shed throughout the area.

"How do you like that?" she asked Vhaelia, her voice sweet. The Justiciar gave her a glare, clearly uncomfortable in the light.

Shadowheart readied herself to press the advantage, but then she heard Tav yelp in pain, and her attention was split again. A Sharran had gotten a strike in and was now readying himself for another attack as Tav's sword arm hung limply at her side.

The sight of Tav cradling her injured arm sent a jolt of fear through Shadowheart, sharper than any blade. Quickly, she summoned her divine magic again and cast Guiding Bolt at the Sharran who had struck Tav. The Sharran screamed in pain, distracted enough for Tav to slit his throat with a dagger in her good hand.

But her moment of distraction gave Vhaelia the opening she needed. The Dark Justiciar moved in with a shield bash, getting her out of balance. Vhaelia’s sword came down in an arc, faster than Shadowheart could block. The strike sent her crashing to the ground, pain exploding through her body as her shield clattered away.

Shadowheart had the wind knocked out of her, and she scrambled to get up as the Justiciar approached, brandishing her sword menacingly. Vhaelia loomed over her, eyes gleaming with dark triumph.

“This is where it ends,” the Dark Justiciar sneered, raising her sword for the final blow.

Shadowheart’s heart pounded, panic threatening to overtake her. But in the back of her mind, memories flashed before her eyes—Tav smiling softly in the moonlight, her voice a steady anchor when everything else felt like chaos.

The thought of dying now, after everything they had survived together, twisted in her chest like a knife.

She couldn’t die here. Not yet.

Just as Vhaelia raised her weapon to strike, the ground beneath her feet twisted and burst to life. Jagged thorns erupted from the earth, coiling around her legs and sinking deep into her flesh. The Dark Justiciar gasped, wincing as each step forward became a struggle, the spikes slowing down and tearing at her with every move.

Shadowheart’s eyes flicked to the side, catching Jaheira, who stood calmly with her hand outstretched, her eyes alight with focus. Jaheira gave a sly, self-satisfied wink before turning her attention back to the battle. Shadowheart nodded quickly at the Harper, gratitude in her eyes.

Then she grabbed her shield and got up, readying herself once more.

Vhaelia struggled out of the spiky growth, snarling, her eyes narrowing in fury, Shar's dark magic numbing the pain she must have been feeling. “Die, traitor!” She lunged forward, her blade crackling with dark magic, aiming for Shadowheart’s heart.

Shadowheart raised her shield just in time, but the force of the blow staggered her. The weight of Vhaelia’s attack was overwhelming. For a moment, it seemed like she wouldn’t be able to hold it off.

Her mind snapped to the time she still had Shar's favor, Shar's gifts and power at her fingertips. She and the Spear of Evening had been an unstoppable pair, she could have easily cleared out this room alone.

Now she was struggling to best a single Dark Justiciar.

She glanced at Tav again, saw her fighting through the pain. She, Astarion and Nocturne were gaining the upper hand with Jaheira’s help. Knowing Tav was safe brought a surge of strength. She just needed to end this fight and all of them would be safe.

With a pained roar, Shadowheart parried the next blow, her muscles burned with exhaustion, the force of Vhaelia’s strike reverberating up her arm. Her shield arm ached from the impact, but she pushed the pain aside, focusing on the weight of her sword in her hand—the only thing standing between her and death.

In the blink of an eye, Shadowheart clicked her boots and shadowstepped through the hostile darkness. Shadowheart landed silently behind Vhaelia, her boots making no sound on the cold stone floor. The blade hissed as it cut through the air, finding its mark. The Dark Justiciar had no time to react as the cold steel sank into her back.

Vhaelia gasped in pain and spun around, only to meet another swift slash from Shadowheart. This time, the blade found the vulnerable spot on her throat, unprotected by her armor or helmet.

The Dark Justiciar staggered backward, her hand clutching the wound, before sinking to her knees. Vhaelia gave Shadowheart one last, desperate look before the Sharran leader collapsed to the ground, defeated.

A pool of blood spread around her as the dark magic flickered, then died with her.

The chamber fell silent.

Shadowheart stood over Vhaelia’s body, her chest heaving, adrenaline still coursing through her veins. She looked down at the fallen Dark Justiciar, the woman whose loyalty she had once commanded. There was no satisfaction in the victory, only a cold, heavy finality.

Tav approached, a mixture of concern and relief in her eyes. “Are you alright?”

Shadowheart nodded, though her expression was distant. “It’s over.”

In the background, Astarion rummaged through the pockets of the fallen enemies, while Jaheira and Nocturne counted the dead.

"If you sent twenty, there’s one missing," Nocturne called out after they finished.

"I think I know where that one went," Astarion said, holding a small book he had taken from the Dark Justiciar.

"And now we also know why the bridge on the right side of the Gauntlet is no more," he added.

"Well, that's that," Tav said with a sigh.

"What happened to the plan?" Tav asked after everyone gathered around. "What was that explosion?"

"We noticed most of the traps," Nocturne started awkwardly.

"But obviously not the one that exploded in our faces," Jaheira finished wryly.

"Did anyone get hurt?" Tav asked.

"A little, but I’m managing," Nocturne replied, embarrassed.

"It looks like we all suffered some injuries. Let's find a quieter place, and I’ll do a prayer of healing," Shadowheart suggested, glancing at everyone’s minor and more serious injuries.

"I think the spot where we camped last time we were here is nearby," Astarion said.

Shadowheart knelt in the center of the group, her breath steady despite the exhaustion weighing on her. Closing her eyes, she began to murmur a soft prayer, her hands resting lightly on her lap.

A gentle, golden light radiated from her, soft at first, then growing stronger as her voice gained strength. The glow spread outward, caressing each companion like a warm summer breeze. Cuts and bruises slowly mended, the pain ebbing away with each pulse of divine energy.

When she finished, the glow faded, leaving behind a sense of calm and relief. Shadowheart opened her eyes and quietly glanced around at her companions, satisfied to see their wounds healing and their spirits lifted.

Some aches and bruises remained, but they were now more prepared for what lay ahead.

"Good work, Shadowheart. I think we should still take a short rest on top of that," Tav said.

Everyone agreed and chose appropriate spots to settle into.

"Shadowheart, can I have a word with you?" Tav’s voice was soft, but there was a weight to it, something unspoken but heavy in her gaze.

Shadowheart nodded, and Tav led her a little ways away from the group, far from any prying ears.

They stopped a short distance away, in a quiet corner. Shadowheart sat down against the cold stone wall, her muscles aching from the fight and her thoughts and emotions a whirlwind.

Her hand brushed against her side, where the blood from her wound had started to dry up—a grim reminder of the strike she hadn’t seen coming. Her side still ached, and she winced as she tried to find a comfortable position.

Meanwhile, Tav leaned against a crumbling stone pillar nearby, nursing her arm. They both had taken quite the beating. Tav stared ahead, lost in thought, while Shadowheart braced herself, expecting to be berated for how distracted she had been, worrying over Tav during the fight.

Suddenly, Tav broke the silence. "I was distracted today. I blew our ambush by hurrying to open the door because I was so worried about your safety," she admitted, her voice low and soft

Shadowheart looked up, surprised, but remained silent, listening.

Tav closed her eyes and rested her head against the pillar. "I wasn’t focused in the fight either. I kept glancing over at you... making sure you were okay. And then—" she motioned to her injured arm with a grimace, "this happened, which led to you almost dying, and..." Her voice trailed off, unable to continue.

"As you very well know, so was I," Shadowheart whispered, her voice heavy with shame. "I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Every time you moved, every time you were out of my sight... I was terrified something would happen to you, that I wouldn’t get to you in time."

Tav opened her eyes and turned to face her, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she pushed herself off the pillar and moved to sit beside Shadowheart. "Seems we were both too busy watching each other’s backs to properly watch our own," she murmured.

Shadowheart winced. "It’s not funny, Tav. You got hurt because of me, again. You were nearly killed, and I—" She stopped, biting her lip. "I let my fear control me. I should have been more focused."

Tav shifted closer, her hand hovering between them, uncertain, before gently brushing against Shadowheart's.

For a moment, Shadowheart froze, every muscle tensing as if fighting the urge to pull away. But the warmth of Tav’s hand was too much to resist, a tether to reality that kept her from spiraling into the darkness.

"It’s not your fault, Shadowheart. I should have been more careful too." Tav murmured.

Shadowheart looked down at their joined hands, her thumb tracing slow circles over Tav’s knuckles. "But it is my fault. This is all because of me—my past with Shar. Now I’ve drawn her wrath, and everyone is here because of my mistakes." Her voice trembled, and her shoulders slumped under the invisible weight she carried. "If you weren’t with me, maybe you’d be sa—"

"Don’t," Tav interrupted, her tone firm but gentle. "Don’t even think like that." She squeezed Shadowheart’s hand, leaning closer. "I chose to be with you. We all did. We want to be here for you. I want to be here for you."

Shadowheart leaned against Tav, resting her head on her shoulder. She was too tired to care how alien it still felt to seek comfort from someone else. She was also too tired to keep arguing.

"You almost died, Tav," Shadowheart whispered, her voice shaky. "I can’t—" She stopped, unable to find the words to finish.

"I’m here, aren’t I?" Tav whispered, caressing Shadowheart’s arm.

They sat in silence for a while, the tension easing bit by bit as they leaned on each other.

"Does your arm still hurt?" Shadowheart asked.

"A little," Tav admitted.

Shadowheart whispered a few words, and the soothing caress of her healing magic mended Tav’s arm completely.

"Thank you," Tav said softly, testing her hand. "Feeling as good as ever."

"Good. It’s the least I could do," Shadowheart murmured.

Tav was quiet for a moment, contemplating. "I think we have to face the fact that we can’t stop worrying about each other, even in the middle of a battle," Tav murmured.

"I know," Shadowheart sighed. "It’s a fine line. We’ve got to trust each other to handle ourselves."

"Agreed. Though maybe we can learn to fight as a duo, never far from each other, always back-to-back," Tav said with a smile, and Shadowheart wasn’t sure if she was joking or being serious.

They both startled when Jaheira suddenly appeared, arms crossed, a wry smile tugging at her lips. "Very sweet, you two lovebirds. But we need to get moving." Her voice was gentle but firm, the way a commander might scold brave but reckless soldiers. "Shar still holds sway over this place, and if we linger, we’re giving her time to conjure something worse."

Shadowheart and Tav nodded, reluctantly letting go of each other and standing up.

They stepped onto the disc-shaped elevator that would take them to the Vestiges of Shadows, to the Shadowfell. The enormous statue of Shar loomed over them ominously as the disc moved past it, Shadowheart’s eyes lingering on it.

The air grew heavier with each step toward the entrance, a cold pressure tightening in Shadowheart's chest. Her pulse quickened as the weight of Shar’s presence pressed in on her, like a hand gripping her throat, silencing her thoughts.

Was the growing sense of unease some divine warning from Selûne, urging her to be careful? Or were her own frayed nerves overreacting?

Whatever it was, it felt like something was gripping her chest, squeezing it painfully.

As the elevator arrived, they walked in silence until they reached the entrance, another statue of Shar judging them. The light from the water reflected off the statue and the walls in shimmering patterns.

"This is it. Once again we're here," Shadowheart murmured, thinking back the last time they were here, how it also had felt like a point of no return for her. "Is everyone ready?" she asked, turning to address the group.

"Just a reminder—we go down quickly. The space feels weightless, so be careful as you move from platform to platform. The body lies on the last platform. We grab it, Shadowheart casts Planeshift, and we’re back here before we know it," Tav said.

"Be ready for anything. The best-laid plans tend to go to hells as soon as you start to execute them," Jaheira warned.

"Lovely sentiment. Now let’s get moving," Astarion said coolly but there was nervousness hiding behind his red eyes, eagerness to get this done and get out of this oppressing place.

Nocturne exchanged a worried look with Shadowheart, both of them reluctant to enter their former goddess’s realm, where her power would be palpable and strong.

For a moment, Shadowheart hesitated at the water’s edge. Perhaps this was a grave mistake. Panic started to rise in her as she gazed at the surface of the water.

But she had made a promise. She had to try, or else she would never know peace. She would never be able to have any semblance of a normal life.

She took a deep breath and stepped into the water.

Last time she had been here, the water had welcomed her like a long-lost child coming home. She hadn’t been scared, even though she didn’t know how to swim.

She had trusted herself to Lady Shar’s embrace.

This time, the water wasn’t welcoming. It was like a hungry maw that swallowed her whole as her arms flailed, making her feel like she was about to drown.

Her vision darkened as the water engulfed her completely.

Chapter Text

"Shadowheart? Are you okay?" The voice pierced through the darkness, and the ringing in her ears slowly quieted down. Shadowheart instinctively coughed, but there was nothing in her throat. She was on her back, on solid ground, safe and sound. 

Shadowheart opened her eyes slowly; the blurred double image in the shape of a person filled her vision before the worried face of Tav sharpened into focus. Behind her, the Shadowfell churned on endlessly, devoid of any color or life. 

"I'm okay," Shadowheart managed to rasp out. 

Tav's expression melted from worry to relief. "Good. Let me help you up." 

Shadowheart took the extended hand and let Tav pull her to her feet. The others were already up, looking around. None of them had been here before; not even Astarion had been on the team that descended last time. 

"We need to move, fast," Shadowheart said, reluctantly letting go of the warmth of Tav's hand and taking the lead. 

The others followed her in silence, as if the smallest sound would disturb the quiet of the Shadowfell and summon the one thing they all feared most here: the mistress of this domain. 

Shadowheart reached the first edge and looked down to locate the next floating island below. Last time, every jump had been a leap of faith, trusting her mistress to carry her to safety with each move while she recited her prayer of devotion, readying herself for the glory waiting below—even if she had felt hollow inside. 

Now, as she looked down, her stomach flipped; the fear of falling into the endless abyss twisted her stomach into knots. But there was no turning back now—they needed to see this through. 

Shadowheart steeled herself, took a few steps back, then ran and jumped. Gravity wasn’t there; she felt like she was flying through the air, weightless for a short moment. 

When her legs hit the next platform with a loud thud, she let out a sigh of relief. Then another as she realized no phantom enemies appeared before her, and a third when she heard her companions landing safely beside her. 

Shadowheart glanced at Tav, the memories of what had happened last time they were in the Shadowfell dancing at the edge of her mind—the memories of Tav dying and everything that had followed. She tried to keep the memories at bay, but her mind was already like a leaking dam, waiting to burst. 

The group pushed forward, jumping from one platform to the next until they reached the bottom—the prison, and now also the grim tomb, of the Nightsong. 

Immediately after landing, Shadowheart's gaze was drawn to the still body lying in the center of the platform. The blood had long since dried, but otherwise, Nightsong looked as if not a day had passed since they’d left her there. 

Since she had killed her.

Shadowheart walked closer, the others slowly following behind. 

"This is the daughter of Selûne?" Jaheira asked. 

"Yes, she's still here, just like... just like we left her," Tav answered. The shame and guilt in Tav's voice made Shadowheart grimace. 

"So it is true, then," Jaheira murmured, her voice solemn, so quiet it barely reached Shadowheart. 

Shadowheart looked at Nightsong lying there. The eerie breeze from the churning abyss nearby ruffled her tattered clothing lightly, but otherwise, Nightsong lay perfectly still. The expression on her marble face was so calm it looked like she was sleeping. 

Or as if she were a statue depicting a fallen goddess, sculpted out of marble. A statue that had been broken into pieces many times, the different parts mended together with pure gold, forming the seams on her pale face and body. 

The only thing indicating Nightsong had been flesh and blood, a living thing once, was that dried blood and the gaping wound where Shadowheart had pierced her with the spear all those years ago. 

Shadowheart felt sick to her stomach again—this time not from the heights, but from what she had done. She wanted to crumble to the ground and weep, bury herself in guilt. Instead, she looked away and took a deep breath, readying herself to hurry the others along. There was no point in lingering now that they had reached Nightsong. 

But before she had the chance to turn around and do all that, a shiver ran down her spine. She felt it a moment before she heard it—a familiar voice in her head. 

"You think you can just walk into my domain after what you have done, my Chosen?"

Every hair on Shadowheart's body stood up. She opened her mouth to warn the others, but it was already too late. The mind of a god was penetrating hers, probing for a way in. Her already strained mental defenses shattered like glass before a hammer. 

The Mirror of Loss loomed over Shadowheart, filling her entire vision. She stared at its non-reflective surface. It sucked in light itself.

There shouldn’t be anything staring back at her other than pure darkness, but she saw her own reflection.

She was standing there, clad in her Dark Justiciar armor. Shar was behind her, cold arms wrapped around Shadowheart in an embrace.

"You were meant to be Selûne's chosen, to bring hope and light into the world. But I saved you from that fate," the deep, emotionless voice stated.

Shadowheart squirmed, trying to escape the embrace, but the more she struggled, the tighter the arms around her became.

"Me and my sister were as one once, of the same mind. Then she insisted on bringing life to the matter we had created. Warmth. We were one no more. Never again," Shar’s voice continued. There was a hint of disdain in her tone, however emotionless it was.

"Selûne betrayed me at the beginning of time when she set the sun aflame. It is only right that her Chosen will correct this mistake—snuff out the light, the warmth, the life. End time and bring back the perfect darkness once more."

"No, I’m not your Chosen anymore, and I never will be again," Shadowheart protested through clenched teeth.

"You will be," the goddess simply replied.

"No!" Shadowheart exclaimed, fighting against the embrace.

"Stop resisting it. This is your fate," Shar said, and their reflection in the mirror shimmered and shaped into a memory.

Shadowheart saw herself as a child in the mirror, eight years old and a newcomer to the cloister. Her training had just started, and the lights had been turned off for the night. She curled up on the uncomfortable bed, crying as silently as she could. Everything was unfamiliar; she was terrified and lonely, missing her parents and her mother's warm hugs.

Shadowheart grimaced at the memory and tried to turn her gaze away, but Shar's hand gripped her chin, forcing her to look into the mirror.

"Remember how you cried when you first started your training, like the weak, coddled Selûnite child you were," Shar said without a hint of emotion in her voice.

It wasn't just watching the memory reflected in the mirror; it felt like reliving it. Shadowheart was that eight-year-old child, scared and alone in the dark.

"You were afraid of the darkness like a fool; you didn’t yet understand it as the natural state of the world, of all existence," Shar said. "But you had potential, so I started molding you in my image, to become more than you were."

The image shifted again, this time showing an older Shadowheart being beaten up by bullies. She felt every sting on her face and body as if it were happening now.

"You were a failure in the eyes of your peers; they thought you were weak, unfit to become a Sharran," Shar’s voice said, emotionless. "But you persevered and proved them wrong every time, because you had potential."

The memory continued, showing an unrelenting Shadowheart fighting back no matter what the odds were, returning punch for punch.

"Mother Superior saw it too; she was proud of you," Shar continued, and the memory morphed again to Viconia observing the fighting from the shadows. "She knew you were made for darkness; you were made to be my chosen. Every punishment she doled out, you survived."

The memory warped again, and Shadowheart was kneeling on the ground as a rod washed over her back again and again, merciless and unrelenting, like a cruel, endless tide. She did not cry out, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how bad the pain was.

No tears beaded in her eyes. She persevered.

"I made sure you would become strong, to realize the potential you had."

The mirror shimmered, and this time it was an adult Shadowheart looking at a tapestry in the cloister depicting Dark Justiciars. Her fingers adorned the patterns on the fabric, tracing the shape of their armor and weapons.

"Remember how much you wanted it? Wanted to become my Dark Justiciar? You dreamed of it so many nights, prayed to me to show you the way, and I did."

Memories from the road filled the mirror, showing Shadowheart examining signs of Dark Justiciars while Tav stood nearby.

"You walked the path despite Viconia, and you became the most powerful Dark Justiciar to ever grace this world. My Chosen. I made you, I molded you. You are the perfect vessel for me," Shar paused before continuing, "Almost. But I can make you perfect again. Return to me and become my Chosen again. You will not be weak ever again."

Shadowheart barely registered Shar’s words. Her eyes lingered on the mirror’s surface, on Tav’s face. She needed to break free from whatever this was and get back to Tav.

"The human, the core of your little rebellion," the voice drawled humorously as Shar noticed where Shadowheart’s attention was. "I will even let you keep her; she will be your pet, to do whatever you want with. As long as you put her in front of the mirror and empty her mind—another vessel in the service of Shar’s Chosen."

The image in the mirror shifted to show what could be: Tav kneeling beside Shadowheart, a collar and chain around her neck, her eyes devoid of the light or anything that made Tav the person Shadowheart knew.

Shadowheart’s eyes widened at the image, a look of absolute revulsion washing over her features. "No! Stop it! Let me go!" Shadowheart protested. She was now screaming and struggling harder than before.

Shar's voice boomed in her ears, laced with a rare fury: "This is your last chance, Shadowheart. Accept my graceful offer and beg me for oblivion. Defy me, and you will find nothing but suffering."

"No! Never!" Shadowheart spat.

"Very well. Just know when you break in the end and beg me to empty you of all memories, it will be all the same. I will have you and all this suffering was for nothing, it was your own doing."

Memories crashed over her like a torrent, each one twisting sharper and darker, pulling her down into a whirlpool of guilt and pain as she was forced to relive one memory after another. Her breathing grew shallow, her vision blurring as she struggled to make sense of the past clawing its way back to consume her entirely.

An endless torment thrust upon her mind.

Memories of pain, being broken, hurt with the rod over and over. Crying alone in her bed and in any lonely nook or cranny she could find.

Alone. Broken. Scared.

Her memories taken again and again. The incurable wound searing her with pain every time she strayed from the path, every time she questioned anything or hesitated in what was expected of her.

People bleeding and breaking by her hands. The guilt eating her away until the feelings were punished out of her, leaving her numb.

The only constants in her life were the pain, the rod, the whip, Lady Shar’s teachings, and the loneliness.

She was nothing without Lady Shar; only with Lady Shar’s grace would she amount to anything.

Scared. Broken. Alone.

"But I wasn’t alone," Shadowheart rasped.

The mirror shimmered and shifted, showing a tiefling child comforting her when she was crying alone. In another memory, she was comforting the tiefling. Then they snuck away together to explore the cloister and found a secret cave filled with night orchids. It became their safe haven. Shadowheart sat on the ground as the tiefling played with her hair, trying out different kinds of braiding techniques on her. The warmth of their shared laughter filled that secret cave with life.

Suddenly the memories were swiped away and Shadowheart was kneeling on the floor, reciting a prayer. She faltered in her words and the pain in the hand flared seconds before the rod came down on her. Afterwards she hid in the cave, sitting on the ground amongst her books, hugging her knees and sobbing quietly. But the pain found her there too, her right hand's muscles seized as she cried out.

Scared. Broken. Alon—

"I was not alone," Shadowheart insisted. "I had Nocturne. We always had each other."

Shadowheart clung to the memories like a lifeline. A beacon burning brightly in the darkness, lighting up the truth. She felt Shar's grip on her loosening ever so slightly.

She wasn’t in the cloister anymore. Those were memories, events in her life that had already happened. She was in the Shadowfell, with her friends, on a mission to set things right. Anything else was just another trick by Shar to break her.

But then the grip on her tightened into a painful one once more, forcing her gaze back to the mirror.

"There is no escape from what you’ve done," the emotionless voice commanded. "Only my oblivion will give you solace."

Shadowheart tried to resist, but the hand was unyielding; she fought against it uselessly.

The images in the mirror shifted again, and she saw her mother’s sad eyes looking back at her. Shadowheart was holding a blade, moving closer to her mother, suspended by Shar’s foul magic.

"No! Leave me alone!" she screamed at Shar, clenching her fists and trying to fight back against Shar. But it was no use—the darkness was encroaching on her from all sides.

"Jen, my Jen, what have they done to you?" Her mother's frail voice echoed, turning into screams as Shadowheart was forced to continue her lessons in brutality.

The screams and the smell of blood filled her mind and senses, making her reel and gasp for air. Shadowheart couldn't take it; the memories were too intense, too vivid. She screamed and clawed against it until she had no strength left and no more tears left to shed.

She tried to close her eyes, but there was nowhere to hide from the horrors of the memory she was forced to relive.

Something inside her finally bent and then shattered.

The light snuffed out, and darkness closed back in.

Tav noticed that Shadowheart had been standing still for a long time, facing in the direction of the Nightsong. Tav felt empathy gripping her chest, thinking Shadowheart was wrestling with feelings of guilt again. 

"Shadowheart?" Tav called softly, trying to get her attention. The sooner they left this place, the better. Then she could give Shadowheart the comfort she knew she needed. 

Shadowheart turned slowly. Her eyes glowed purple, and Tav froze in place. A chill gripped Tav’s chest as panic settled in. 

"You have intruded into the domain of the Lady of Loss. I am her Chosen, and now you will fall by my hand," Shadowheart stated, her voice was calm and devoid of any emotion. 

Tav’s skin prickled. "Her Chosen? Shadowheart, what are you talking about?" 

She sensed the others reaching for their weapons, the tension thickening in the air. 

The incurable wound on Shadowheart’s hand flared, pulsating with Shar’s power. Shar’s Spear of Evening materialized in her grasp. 

"Didn't you leave that thing back in the cloister?" Nocturne asked, and Tav could hear the fear in her voice. 

"On your guard," Jaheira warned, drawing her scimitars. "Something foul is at work here." 

"I said you will fall by my hand." With a flick of her wrist, flames burst around them. 

"Dodge!" Tav yelled. They scattered in every direction, but Nocturne yelped in pain. 

The chaos erupted so quickly Tav struggled to process it. Weapons were drawn, and everyone looked between each other and Tav, unsure of what to do. 

"Subdue her! Don't hurt her, but subdue her!" Tav yelled, taking a step towards Shadowheart, but was suddenly stopped as shadowy tendrils appeared out of thin air, clutching her legs and arms, rendering her immobile. 

Tav watched in horror as the others descended upon Shadowheart, whose eyes had not ceased glowing as she took a familiar battle stance. Then everything went black; an unnatural darkness set upon them, and Tav knew the Dark Justiciar Shadowheart was back. But how? Why? She had no time to wonder as she felt very powerful magic cast nearby. 

"Shadowheart, no! Don’t do this!" Tav screamed as her companions' screams and cries of pain filled her ears. They were helpless, engulfed in the dark. 

Then it went eerily quiet. Tav’s heart pounded in fear as she kept fighting against her shadowy bindings, but they didn’t budge an inch. "Shadowheart! Stop this! I don't know what's going on, but you need to stop!" Tav yelled again. 

The darkness faded. Shadowheart stood with her back to Tav, her arm extended, holding her spear in a finishing stance. Shadowheart let her arm drop to her side as she turned to look over her shoulder at Tav. Nocturne, Astarion, and Jaheira lay unmoving and silent at her feet. 

Shadowheart turned to fully face Tav, and with no hurry in her steps, walked towards her. Tav didn’t recognize the woman looking back at her; it certainly wasn’t her Shadowheart, even if she wore her face. 

"What have you done?" Tav whispered. 

"Aww, worried about your little friends? Don’t be. They’re just taking a nap so I can take my time with them later, after I’ve dealt with you," Shadowheart said with mock concern as she circled Tav like a predator circling its prey. The click of metallic boots echoed ominously against the stone floor in the stillness of the Shadowfell. 

After circling Tav a few times, Shadowheart stopped before her. "You’re pathetic, Tav. You thought I could really love you? That I wanted someone as weak as you?" 

She said it in Shadowheart's voice—her Shadowheart's voice—but it didn’t sound like her. It was emotionless, cold, detached.

"You take me for an utter fool, Shar? I know this is not Shadowheart," Tav said, her voice much calmer than she felt. "And you won’t convince me otherwise, so you might as well drop the act." 

Shadowheart tilted her head, then a grin slowly pulled at her lips. A grin like none Tav had ever seen on Shadowheart’s face. It was unsettling. Unnatural. 

"Let Shadowheart go, you bitch of a goddess. You will never have her! So embrace loss and get out of her life." Tav’s fear flared into anger and defiance. 

Shadowheart let out a cold, empty laugh in response. "You are wrong. I am her. I am Shadowheart. I am her without the burden of personhood, without the burden of memories to confuse me. I am her without the venom of love coursing in my veins. I am her without the cursed traces of light in me."

"I have been emptied of falsehoods, of emotions, wants, needs, dreams... of hope—the things that poison the mind. I am the perfect state, the perfect vessel to bring Shar's darkness upon the world." Shadowheart continued, each word adding a cold stone in the pit of Tav's stomach. 

Shadowheart without the heart—only the shadow left. The heart was gone, the parts that made her who she was. Cold dread gripped Tav's chest. Was she lying? If not, how could it be? Surely Shar couldn’t erase Shadowheart’s personality, her very being, just like that?

A memory of Shadowheart’s nightmare surfaced. But how? Shadowheart was still alive, so was this just Shadowfell’s influence? Or something darker?

“No! Give her back, you bitch!” Tav hissed, her voice trembling with rage and despair. 

“How very heroic of you, Hero of Baldur’s Gate,” Shadow sneered, her voice dripping with condescension. “Now, let’s take a look into your thoughts—the parts you’ve hidden from me, too shameful, too painful to share.”

Tav felt a sudden, piercing pain in her head. Shadow probed her thoughts, peeling back memories layer by layer, relentless. Tav could feel her secrets spilling out like blood from a wound. Tav tried to resist, but Shadow was too powerful; her mind unraveled like a book as Shadow flipped through her memories and emotions as if they were nothing. 

It was intrusive, humiliating, but Tav couldn’t do anything to stop it. 

“I see it all, Tav—your insecurities. You never understood why the others regarded you as their leader. You felt like nothing—just a failure, a common criminal scum, a loser no one could truly care about. You felt like an imposter leading us, and you hated yourself for it.” 

Tav stared at her, eyes wide, jaw clenched as her deepest fears were laid bare. 

“I see your memories… how Mommy and Daddy didn’t love you. They regarded you as nothing more than cattle, to be sold to the highest bidder.” Shadow’s voice was almost amused, her lips twisting into a cold smile. “But you thought you were more than that, didn’t you? That’s why you ran away. But that just led to more misery. You should have just accepted your lot in life. The world would be much better if people knew their place.” 

“Shut up—you know nothing about that,” Tav spat through gritted teeth, her stomach twisted as Shadow’s words tore old wounds open. 

Shadow’s smile widened. “But it didn’t end there, did it? Your whole life, you’ve struggled against the inevitable, hoping endlessly for something better, for someone to care about you, to see you, to love you… like a pathetic worm on a hook, refusing to give up even as the jaws tighten around it,” she sneered. “You cling to life and hope and all those disgusting things when you should just give up and accept the darkness that comes for us all.” 

“Stop… it…” Tav whispered, her voice trembling. 

“I saw it all—the one who mentored you when you stumbled into the underbelly of Baldur’s Gate. You thought he cared about you, that he was a rogue with a golden heart. I see and feel how heartbroken you were when you learned he only wanted you loyal enough to risk your life for the next score. Remember how you curled up, crying in that ditch after you ran away again? You’d have been much happier if you’d embraced loss then and there instead of fighting against the inevitable.” 

Tav’s mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. The memories of that night flooded her mind; it felt like she was reliving them. She felt the cold on her skin as the rain soaked her clothes, washing her tears from her cheeks. 

“You thought someone would care about you, didn’t you? When all your life, people have just abused your trust, used you for their own gain, over and over again. When will you learn, Tav?” Shadow asked with mock concern. “You know, deep down, that you’re unlovable." 

Shadow’s words sliced through Tav’s defenses, precise as a blade. 

"The world keeps proving it, again and again. Do yourself a favor, Tav—finally accept its message." 

Tav shuddered and closed her eyes. She knew this wasn’t her Shadowheart, but to hear such words in Shadowheart’s voice hurt more than any physical pain. She fought back tears—she wouldn’t give Shar or this imposter that satisfaction. 

“And how can you possibly think I would be any different?” Shadow continued, her sneer widening. “How could you think our ‘connection’ was anything more than a careful manipulation? Ensuring the group’s leader would dance to my tune, stand by my side when I needed her?” 

All of Tav’s insecurities and fears were dragged out into the open and picked apart, like a vulture picking at a carcass. 

“How can you be so sure I didn’t keep seeing you after becoming Shar’s Chosen just to savor your suffering? To watch the hope drain from you, leaving only pain and despair?” 

Tav opened her eyes slowly, and instead of the torment Shadow expected to see, Tav smiled—a genuine smile, reaching her eyes. 

“If any of that were true, she wouldn’t have defied Shar for me,” Tav said, her smile widening. “That’s right. She cares for me so much that she gave your bitch of a goddess the middle finger just to save me. Me. Maybe I’m a failure, maybe I’m nobody, someone no one ever wanted. But none of that matters—what matters is that she wants me, and she lo—”  

Tav’s words were cut off by a steel-clad fist smashing into her jaw. 

A shockwave of pain rippled through Tav’s face. Her head snapped to the side, a bruise blooming beneath the skin as blood oozed from a split in her lip. She tasted iron in her mouth, her vision blurring, but she remained standing, though dazed. 

She vaguely realized Shadow had held back—nothing felt broken—but the next punch might be a different story, judging by the cruel glint in Shadow’s eyes. 

“That is the last time you disrespect Lady Shar. You’re nothing but a common tart, and you will die like one,” Her cold words dropped like ice. Tav saw Shadow pull her fist back and Tav clsoed her eyes and braced herself for another blow—but it never came. 

Instead, there was an annoyed grunt. Tav opened her eyes to see Jaheira standing again, holding Shadow still with a thorny whip, muscles straining with the effort. 

“Time to learn some manners and wash that mouth of yours,” Jaheira said, yanking Shadow back. “You too, Tav—but I’ll let it slide this time, considering the circumstances,” she added with a wry smile while readying to engage Shadow. 

Shadow whirled around to face Jaheira, seemingly feeling no pain as her hand gripped the thorny whip, yanking Jaheira toward her. 

Jaheira gasped as she collided with Shadow, the younger woman was in her prime and her strength more than she'd expected while she herself was still weakened by her recent resurrection.  

Shadow didn't miss a beat as her hands curled around Jaheira's throat, lifting the slightly shorter woman off the ground. Jaheira struggled against her, trying to free herself from the iron grip, her legs kicking in the air. 

"Let her go!" Tav screamed, horrified as Jaheira’s face turned color and her head lulled, she was slipping into unconsciousness.

“If you’re in such a hurry to die, I’ll oblige,” Shadow snarled, tossing Jaheira aside like a ragdoll. Jaheira’s body hit the stone platform with a sickening thud. 

“Stay down, Harper. I’ll deal with you later,” Shadow commanded before summoning her spear in a flash of purple light. 

Seeing the Shar's power glow in Shadow’s eyes and in the incurable wound made Tav’s stomach turn. She knew she had to reach Shadowheart somehow before it was too late, before they all died by her hand. 

Shadow approached menacingly, brandishing the spear. There was no warmth, no empathy—no trace of her Shadowheart left. Her face was a mask of cold devotion. 

Suddenly, Tav saw a flicker in the corner of her eye—a streak of black as a massive panther leapt onto Shadow, sinking its teeth into her forearm with a snarl. 

Again, no reaction to pain from Shadow, but the attack halted her. 

“You don’t know when to give up, do you, old woman?” Shadow hissed, her fist slamming down on the panther’s head, glowing sickly green as it inflicted wounds. 

Tav recognized the spell, watching in horror as the panther yelped in pain, slumping to the ground. Shadow raised her spear, ready to deliver a killing blow. 

“No!” Tav cried, but it was too late. The spear plunged down, impaling the panther, blood pooling beneath it before the form shifted—and the still, pale body of Jaheira lay unmoving in its place. 

"No! How could you!" Tav yelled. It was useless to yell and thrash, but she couldn't help herself as she watched the Harper they had just gone to great lengths to bring back from the dead now lying broken on the ground, dying again. 

"I can, and I will, in the name of Shar," Shadow said simply. She pulled the spear out of Jaheira with a sickening sound and held it with one hand as she turned to look at Tav. 

Shadow’s gaze held Tav's as she raised the spear, a heartbeat stretching between them like a chasm. Shadow grabbed the spear with both hands and this time there was no one to stop her as she took a few long, fast steps towards Tav.

Tav struggled against the shadowy tendrils binding her, but they held firm, not giving an inch. Perspiration dripped down her temples. 

"It's your time to move into the embrace of Shar," Shadow said, her eyes glowing ominously as the purple light in them intensified. 

"Shadowheart! I know you're in there!" Tav pleaded, searching her eyes for the woman she loved—but she wasn't there. 

"Blessed Nightsinger, witness our adoration. See how we serve you, only you," Shadow recited, her voice echoing in a prayer that Tav knew all too well. 

For Tav, time seemed to slow down as the sharp end of the spear drew closer and closer. She could only stare at it—no images of her life flashed before her eyes, no deep revelations. Just pain as the spear finally pierced her abdomen. 

"We have emptied our hearts of falsehoods. We have vanquished your foes." 

A breathless, suffocated cry escaped Tav's lips. The force of the strike sent her stumbling onto her back; the shadowy tendrils no longer held her captive, but that detail was lost on her. 

"Shar's will shall be done. As sure as night will fall." 

Shadow moved with her, impaling her to the ground with the spear, her face emotionless as she stared at Tav, both hands gripping the spear as firmly as ever. 

"If you thought what the Nightbringer did to you was bad, just wait until you've spent some time with me. Every time you're about to cross over, I will bring you back. Pain will give way to loss and, eventually, to her eternal embrace. You will learn this lesson as many times as needed before you pass into her embrace permanently." Shadow twisted the spear, making Tav wail in pain. 

"Shadowheart, please… stop…" Tav's voice was somewhere between a plea and a pained whimper as tears escaped the corners of her eyes. 

"What was that sound?" Shadowheart asked. Why did hearing it cause a whole different kind of pain in her chest?

"Concentrate," a detached voice instructed, and suddenly she smelled blood again—her parents' blood, staining her young hands.

For the first time, there was hesitation in Shadow. Her grip on the spear loosened just slightly, a look of confusion passed over her eyes before it was gone. But it was all Tav needed—a little sign that Shadowheart, her Shadowheart, was still in there. She wasn't gone for good. 

"Shar molded me, chipped away all the useless things, broke me into pieces, and put me back together in a way that would make me the perfect vessel to carry her will. To bring her endless darkness into the world." Shadow spoke in a flat tone. 

"That's not true, Shadowheart. You're strong; you're resilient. She might have tried to do all that, but she never fully succeeded. No matter what she did, she couldn't fully break you. You always managed to hold on to what was the essence of you. You've defied her more times than you realize," Tav's voice softened as she spoke. 

Shadow faltered again. This time, her hand twitched, and she stilled, her eyebrows drawing together in a frown. 

"If you kill me, Shadowheart, I’ll die knowing you’re still in there, fighting back. I believe in you," Tav whispered.

Her hands were shaking. The blade was stained crimson, droplets of blood adorning her from head to toe.

"The lesson is not over yet. Continue," the disembodied voice said impassively.

But another voice was speaking over it—a gentler, kinder voice. No one had ever spoken to her in such a soft way, except her only friend. But this voice wasn’t her friend’s.

Shadowheart looked around, trying to locate the source of the voice, but there was no one there except the practice targets and the ever-present deep shadows.

"Focus!" the voice commanded and it was like slap in her face, the sting bringing her back into the moment.

Shadowheart hesitated, her hand shaking, her resolve wavering.

Tav had failed many times in her life—more than she cared to admit. She felt she had failed Shadowheart in the moments that counted most—those that had shaped both of their lives. 

She was done failing. 

No matter what it took, no matter how much it would hurt, she would not let Shar win once more and take everything from them once again. 

Tav gritted her teeth, preparing for what she was about to do, and took hold of the spear that had pierced her abdomen. Her trembling hands closed around the shaft. 

Her breaths came in shallow, ragged gasps. She clenched her jaw and, with desperate resolve, pulled the spearhead deeper into her abdomen. White-hot pain knifed through her body, and her vision darkened at the edges. Each heartbeat pulsed with agony, but her grip didn’t falter, driven by a purpose that burned fiercer than the torment. 

The scream that escaped her was almost inhuman. The pain was overwhelming, and she nearly fainted, but somehow she clung to consciousness. 

She held on for Shadowheart, for her friends, for herself. She held on for hope, like the fool she was. 

Hope for them. 

The spear felt like it was tearing her insides apart, and of course, it was. But Tav kept going. She needed to get closer, to reach Shadowheart, to touch her. Just a little more, and she would reach her. 

Shadowheart was still, as though the "Shadow" part had shut down, yet the "Heart" was still missing. 

Tav reached for her hand and sighed in relief as her fingers wrapped around Shadowheart's wrist. She managed to pull her closer. Shadowheart stumbled onto one knee, still holding the spear, her face expressionless. 

"Shadowheart," Tav whispered softly, the name a gentle murmur from her lips. 

Tav reached for Shadowheart again, this time placing her hand behind Shadowheart's neck, pulling her closer until their faces hovered just inches apart. 

The voice was there again—soft, comforting. She had forgotten something, something important.

Someone important.

Shadowheart blinked and closed her eyes. She could feel a gentle hand against her skin—not touching her in anger, but with a tenderness like... someone who cared for her, loved her even.

The wound in her hand flared, the pain making her cry out. It punished her, but even that didn’t chase away the feeling she'd just had.

"Come back to me. I need you. You need to come back to me," Tav whispered, searching her eyes. The purple glow flickered, growing duller. 

"You need to come back to me. Whatever happened, we can recover from it, together. Whatever will happen, we will face it, together." Tav cupped Shadowheart's cheek, brushing it gently, hoping that the skin-on-skin contact would reach deeper than words. 

A ghostly sensation of fingers on her cheek.

The torture room faded into nothingness, and then Shadowheart remembered.

Among the endless stretch of pain and misery, those moments of comfort and gentleness burned brighter than any sun, star, or moon. How she had missed that feeling. How could she have forgotten it?

"Tav..." Shadowheart whispered.

"I can’t lose you. I need you," Tav whispered, her voice strained from pain. "You’re my everything." 

Their lips were now inches apart. In one desperate attempt to reach her lover, Tav closed the distance and kissed her softly. A single tear slid down her cheek, stinging as it touched the wound on her lip, but she ignored it. 

For a moment, Shadowheart’s vision cleared. She was back in the Shadowfell, kissing Tav, feeling her soft lips against hers, her familiar scent filling her senses.

It felt real. It felt right. It felt like home.

Suddenly, she was pulled back to Shar’s embrace. The hand that had cupped her chin now tightened around her throat, suffocating her.

"Stop fighting the inevitable and accept my embrace," Shar’s voice oozed with dark authority.

"I will never accept your embrace. You will never have me again," Shadowheart declared, a righteous fury burning within her.

"Forever is a long time, and everyone breaks in the end," Shar replied, her grip tightening on Shadowheart's throat.

"I am free," Shadowheart insisted, "Free of you."

There was pain in life. Parts of her were still broken. But she was most definitely not alone.

"You have no hold over me anymore," Shadowheart said, her voice gaining confidence with each word spoken. "Your chains bind me no more."

Though Selûne’s influence was faint here—deep within her mind and Shar's domain—it was there. The connection, fragile as it was, remained. She cast the simplest spell she knew, a small light flickering in the palm of her hand.

As always, darkness cowered before light, retreating from its touch.

"Sister," Shar recoiled, pulling back and melding into the shadows. For the first time, an emotion flickered in Shar’s voice, though it was faint.

"Dwell alone in your beloved darkness, Shar. I want to live with my friends and loved ones," Shadowheart said. She turned to face the mirror and, with confident steps, walked through it, knowing now this place was her mind’s construct and would bend to her will.

"Shadowheart blinked, and suddenly she was back—fully in her body, back in the Shadowfell, kissing Tav." 

"Tav..." Shadowheart whispered softly, pulling away from the kiss slowly, the taste of iron lingering on her lips. 

"Shadowheart, is it really you?" Tav asked weakly, her eyes searching Shadowheart's with a desperation that made fear and confusion clench in Shadowheart's chest. 

"Of course, it's me. What do you mea—" She stopped as she noticed Tav’s pallor and the deep bruise on her jaw that hadn’t been there before. Her lip was bleeding, explaining the taste in her mouth. 

Shadowheart’s gaze dropped down, and her breath stilled. She was holding onto something in her hands—a spear. The feel of it was all too familiar. The Spear of Evening. But that wasn't possible; she had left it behind with her old life. 

Her gaze fell lower, and she froze. The spear had pierced Tav's abdomen, pinning her to the ground. Blood had pooled around the wound, staining Tav’s dark leather armor. 

"How... what... Did I do this?" Shadowheart asked, her voice breaking as tears burned at the corners of her eyes. 

"It wasn't really you... it was some vile trick Shar played. But you're here now; perhaps there's still hope for us," Tav whispered, looking to the side. Shadowheart followed her gaze, seeing their other companions down on the ground, bloodied and unmoving. 

"No. No. No," Shadowheart uttered, panic rising in her chest. "I did that too?" 

"Not you, Shadowheart, not you. You don’t need to think about that now. I need you here—I need you to help me, to help us," Tav said, cupping her cheek again and turning Shadowheart’s face back toward her. 

"Okay, okay," Shadowheart replied, trying to calm herself down. "I can fix this. I can help you. We can leave this cursed place." 

Shadowheart carefully pulled the spear out and set it aside with a loud clank. She placed her hands on the wound, the words for healing magic already forming on her lips. 

"No, don't heal me," Tav rasped, clasping her hands. "You need to save your power... to get us out of here. The other... version of you used a lot of magic." 

Shadowheart’s eyes widened, the need to heal Tav—to make sure she was safe—overwhelming her. But she knew if she healed Tav now, she wouldn't have enough magical power left to perform the plane shift and get them out of the Shadowfell. Remaining there any longer would mean certain death for all of them. 

She was torn between her feelings and what she knew was the logical thing to do. 

"Whatever happens, if this is it for me, don’t blame yourself. I wanted to be here for you, no matter the outcome. I love you, Shadowheart. I have always loved you," Tav whispered, her voice trailing into a weakened breath. 

"Tav... I... I..." But before Shadowheart could finish, Tav's eyes fluttered shut, her head lolling as she lost consciousness. 

"I love you too," Shadowheart whispered, willing her voice to carry enough warmth to reach Tav, even though she knew Tav couldn’t hear her. 

Tears burned in Shadowheart's eyes, a sharp pang of desperation hitting her, but there was no time to indulge it. She had to move quickly, to survive. People were dying all around her, and though she had no idea how to heal them once they were out, she knew they were all doomed if they stayed. 

It was nearly impossible to ignore the panic clawing at her, the guilt, the anguish—but she steeled herself. Tav and the others needed her, and she wouldn't fail them. Not now.  

She pulled some cloth from her belongings and fashioned a makeshift dressing, securing it tightly in place over Tav's wound with the purple sash she removed from her own armor. After that was done, she stood up and swiped sweat from her forehead.

The Spear of Evening lay discarded on the ground. Some things, she realized, could never truly be left behind. She strapped it to her back and looked down at Tav, pale and still but still breathing. Her heart ached, but she pushed her feelings aside, focusing on the task instead. 

With effort, Shadowheart scooped Tav into her arms, and with shaking steps, she carried her closer to where the others lay. Her eyes swept over Jaheira, Astarion, and lingered on Nocturne, heart twisting at what she’d done to them.  

"I'm sorry," she whispered, even though she knew they were all unconscious and couldn’t hear her. 

She laid Tav down near them, then moved to Nightsong's body. It was much heavier and harder to move, and Shadowheart had to strain herself as she dragged the body closer to the others. She let out a sigh of relief when it was done, sweat dripping down her temples. 

"Focus, focus, don't think about it, just do," she had to keep reminding herself.

With trembling hands, Shadowheart reached into her pocket and pulled out the small tuning fork Gale had given her. Her reserves of magic were nearly empty, but she had just enough left for the spell. She began to focus on the incantation, drawing it up in her mind. 

Suddenly, the wound on her hand, which had been dormant since the torture the Voice of Shar had inflicted on her, flared up with the promise of pain to come.  

Shadowheart felt Shar's presence again—a bitter, malicious existence honing in on her. Every muscle in her body seized up with the pain that hit her like a battering ram, radiating from the wound and making every nerve ending scream as searing agony turned her vision white. 

The tuning fork dropped from her hand and hit the ground with a sharp clink as her body crumpled beside it. 

Chapter Text

Agony whitened Shadowheart's vision, freezing her muscles and stealing her breath. Her whole world was burning. The air was heavy, thick with despair, and the ground beneath her knees felt cold and unyielding.  

Then the pain's grip loosened a bit, and her vision came back to her. Shar's visage was looming over her. She quickly realized it was just the massive statue of Shar staring at her, the blade it was holding felt like it was aimed straight at her. 

"Resisting my embrace is futile," Shar's voice now boomed in the space, not just in her mind. 

Shadowheart gritted her teeth, forcing her shaking legs to hold her weight. "You're a monster, not a goddess." 

"I am neither. I am the empty room. The dreamless sleep. The shadow's shadow." The words filled the space with an oppressive weight that pressed against Shadowheart's skull. 

"I don't care about what you think you are." Shadowheart felt the wound starting to ache again, promising more agony. 

Her gaze lingered on Tav's pale form. She was still breathing, but barely. A deep anger blossomed in Shadowheart's chest, and she drew her sword more as an instinct than anything else and raised it toward the giant statue of Shar looming over her. 

"I refused to do your bidding back in the cloister, but you forced me to hurt my love anyway. I hate you!" she snarled at the statue. 

She knew the pain was coming. The wound in her hand glowed, promising more agony, but then it stopped and fizzled out. 

The pain never came. 

Shar was quiet, but the darkness around Shadowheart thickened, the musty air was heavy with her simmering rage. 

Shadowheart turned to look at her right hand. The wound was dormant, but the sword in her hand was glowing with a silvery light. It was just like the moonlight from the night she had communed with Selûne for the first time. The pale light illuminated her in the gloom of the Shadowfell. 

She had thought the light imbued in the sword was just acting as her holy symbol, but it turned out to be more. It was now shielding her from Shar's wrath. 

Realizing this, she immediately sprang into action. The tuning fork needed for the spell lay on the ground where it had dropped when the pain had first hit her. Shadowheart quickly scooped it up, her trembling fingers curling around it. It was their fragile lifeline to the Material Plane. 

She closed her eyes and concentrated on the spell that would allow them to plane shift out of the Shadowfell. She started to recite the words, but suddenly her vision blurred, and she faltered. Shadowheart could feel the sword vibrating in her hand; Shar was trying to breach the protection Selûne had granted her. 

At any moment, she could be stuck inside her head again, back to Shar's wicked embrace, and this time there would be no one to pull her out of it. 

Shadowheart's eyes flickered over to Tav's still form, her chest barely rising and falling with shallow breaths. The others were scattered, unmoving on the ground, just like the scene from her nightmare. 

"I will not let it end here." Getting herself and the others to safety steeled her resolve and gave her strength to push forward. She forced herself up, every muscle in her body protesting. 

The sword creaked and buckled under the immense pressure, the Moonmaiden's shield flickering as Shar pushed in with the cold rage of a goddess scorned. 

The words of the spell rose to Shadowheart's lips, and this time she didn't falter. The tuning fork in her hand started to vibrate faintly as she channeled her magic into it. The resonance grew stronger with each syllable of her incantation. 

A shiver ran down her spine as she felt Shar's presence growing stronger, the push against the shield harder. The shield could collapse at any moment. The darkness around her thickened, suffocating, refusing to let her go. 

No. She does not have power over me anymore, Shadowheart thought, clutching the fork tighter.

The sword bent and broke, the light of Selûne dimming with it. Shadowheart immediately felt the wound in her hand flare, the searing ache scorched her nerves, clawing at her concentration like jagged nails. She refused to give up, refused to let Shar win again. 

Anyone else would have been crushed under the torment, but all the agony Shar had inflicted on Shadowheart over the years had prepared her for this moment. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she hoped the irony wasn't lost on Shar. 

She pushed through the agony, her focus on the spell never faltering. A faint, silvery glow emanated from her hands, growing brighter with every word she spoke. The glow expanded, surrounding her and her fallen companions, pushing back the oppressive darkness. 

The air trembled as a low hum filled the space—a rising crescendo of magical energy. The tuning fork was harmonizing with her spell. Shadowheart's voice, strained but steady, carved through the oppressive dark. Sparks of light flickered around them, coalescing into a dome of shimmering radiance. 

The final syllable left her lips, and the tuning fork rang out, its clear, crystalline tone cutting through the Shadowfell like a beacon. The ground beneath them seemed to fall away as the light surged, wrapping them in a blinding cocoon.  

For a brief, breathless moment, there was nothing but silence and light. 

Shadowheart realized the spell needed a destination. Her thoughts turned to the tower rising high toward the moon—her mind instinctively seeking the protective light of Selûne. 

Then, with a jarring shift, the weight lifted. The chill of the Shadowfell was gone, replaced by the familiar warmth and scent of the Material Plane. Shadowheart collapsed to her knees, gasping for air as her trembling hands released their iron grip on the tuning fork. 

They were back on solid stone floor, atop the Moonrise Towers. Around her, the others lay unmoving, but they were alive—except for Nightsong. Shadowheart took solace in the fact that the daughter of Selûne was at least back where her mother had wished her to be, under her loving gaze. 

They might be alive still, but they were not out of danger. Her lover and friends were dying, their lives slipping away with each passing moment, and she didn’t have enough magic to save them. She might not even have enough to save one. 

Shadowheart moved closer to Tav and knelt beside her. Tav was so pale, her skin ghostly under the silvery moonlight. But she was still alive. Shadowheart lifted her carefully, cradling her in her arms. Her hands were immediately stained with Tav’s blood, which soaked through the makeshift bandages with alarming speed. 

Her heart pounded in her ears, each frantic beat echoing her fear and desperation. “Hold on, love. I’ll help you,” she whispered. 

The familiar words of her healing spells came easily, and she pressed her hand against Tav’s wound. The little magic she had left began to mend the injury, but it wasn’t enough. The wound ran too deep, the damage to Tav’s internal tissues too severe. 

“No, no… Tav, you can’t die!” Her voice was a choked whisper. “I can’t lose you. I can’t go on without you.” 

She took a deep breath and tried to summon every last drop of magic left within her. Sweat dripped down her temples as she focused all her will into the spell. But no matter how hard she tried, no more healing magic flowed. 

Tav’s breaths grew fainter, weaker with each passing moment. Shadowheart’s eyes darted frantically around, searching for anything that could help, but time was running out, and there was nothing useful in sight. 

Desperate, Shadowheart looked up at the sky. It was overcast, the moon hidden behind clouds. There were no answers there, no signs of what to do. Her gaze dropped back to Tav. “I can’t lose you! I can’t…” 

Her voice echoed in the stillness, and for a moment, she felt only despair. Bowing her head, she pressed her forehead against Tav’s. Her tears mingled with the blood staining Tav’s skin, forming rivulets before drying up. 

She cursed Shar and the life she had lived in the shadows. What good were lies, cunning, and wickedness now? They had done nothing for her since she had abandoned Shar. 

What she knew—what she felt—was that she didn’t want to be a source of misery anymore. She wasn’t sure if she could ever become a beacon of light or hope, or anything quite so poetic. But she wanted to be better. 

The torment Shar had subjected her to her whole life may have shaped her, but it wouldn't define her.  

She wanted to bring comfort to those close to her. The thought felt right somehow, warming her chest. The warmth was faint at first, but it grew stronger with every passing moment. Shadowheart froze, her breath catching as the warmth spread through her. 

“You will help me find a new path?” she asked, her voice trembling as she raised her gaze back to the sky. “You will help me preserve these lives?”

Something shifted inside her, a fundamental change. The ways of trickery and deception gave away, vanishing like shadows before dawn. In its place a new domain emerged. The Domain of Life was now open to her, made possible by her will to change and the love she carried for Tav.  

The warmth pulsed brighter and brighter, and she could feel the divinity of Selûne in it. The warmth was vibrant, a fundamental force—the kind that sustained all life in the universe. Shadowheart felt raw vitality coursing through her veins, making her feel physically healthier than she ever had. All she needed was to open herself up to it, to work as a conduit for it. 

The magic flowing through her wasn't a force to be commanded; it was a gift that she channeled. The warmth in her chest pulsed and then surged as Shadowheart released the healing energy, making her gasp as the radiant light erupted from her. The light swelled, radiating outward like a wave. It wrapped around Tav and spread to the others lying nearby. 

Tav's breathing deepened, her pallor lifting slightly as some color returned to her cheeks. The wound on Tav's chest began to close slowly as the magic worked to bring her back from the brink of death. 

The same was happening to the others, but Shadowheart barely registered it as her whole attention was on Tav. She anxiously watched the glow on Tav's wounds, mending the deepest cut made by the spear. "That's it, my love, just a little bit more." 

Finally, the light started to fade, leaving behind only a gentle glow around Tav's form. For Shadowheart, all of this had felt like an eternity, but in reality, everything had happened in the blink of an eye. 

Shadowheart kept cradling Tav, trembling from exhaustion, but she refused to let go until she was absolutely sure Tav was okay. That Tav wouldn't die. The faint rise and fall of Tav's chest against hers made hope burn brightly in her chest. 

When Tav's eyes fluttered open, Shadowheart's tears turned into tears of joy. She felt like she could breathe again. She slumped forward, resting her forehead against Tav's, basking in the warmth of her skin. 

“Shadowheart,” Tav murmured weakly, her voice barely audible. 

“I’m here, Tav. I’m here,” Shadowheart whispered, holding onto Tav tightly. 

“What happened? Are you okay? Is everyone okay?” Tav rasped. 

Shadowheart quickly glanced around, seeing that everyone else had been healed as well and was slowly coming back to consciousness. Another heavy burden lifted from her chest at the sight. 

“We're safe now. Everyone is safe now. We’re not in the Shadowfell anymore. I brought us back to Moonrise Towers.” Shadowheart leaned in to kiss Tav's forehead, her tears mingling with the blood and dirt on her face. 

“You did it, Shadowheart. You saved us. I knew you would,” Tav said with a smile. 

Shadowheart couldn’t help but smile back. “You’ve believed in me even when I haven’t deserved it. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you...” she whispered. 

“Shadowheart,” Tav began, but she was cut off by Shadowheart. 

“Please, Tav, let me say this. I need to say this. I didn’t have time back in the Shadowfell,” Shadowheart's voice trembled. 

She took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled slowly. For so long, she had only been allowed to feel what Shar wanted her to feel—emptiness. Now, without Shar's constraints, she felt as though she was drowning in her emotions. It was overwhelming. But the one thing that kept her afloat was Tav. 

Tav had been the one constant in her life through the years, never abandoning her side when almost everyone else had. Even when Shadowheart truly hadn’t deserved her loyalty, Tav had been there. Tav had helped Shadowheart to retain some light within her, to not let herself be consumed by the darkness entirely. 

For so long, Shadowheart had been unable to express her feelings for Tav, forbidden by Shar to acknowledge such emotions. “I had to lock away my heart for so long, to pretend I didn’t have feelings for you. I had to deny a part of myself, and I hurt both you and myself in the process.”  

Shadowheart cupped Tav's cheek, her green eyes pouring into Tav's. Tav looked back at her, tears shimmering in her own eyes. 

“I’ve wasted so much time, Tav. Not just between you and me, but in my own life, too. I want to change. But I don’t know if I can... if it’s too late for me,” Shadowheart continued, her voice almost desperate as the words spilled out. 

“It’s not too late, Shadowheart. Far from it,” Tav replied, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“I want to believe that. And I want to believe it’s not too late for us, either,” Shadowheart whispered, taking another deep breath. “The truth is, Tav... I love you. I’ve always loved you. I may have denied it, tried to lock my feelings away, but I’ve always loved you.” 

Tav smiled—a smile of pure, unadulterated happiness. The expression made Shadowheart’s heart sing with joy. She had never seen Tav so happy, but she knew she wanted see it every single day for the rest of her life. 

“I love you too, so much. I never thought I’d see this day. I always hop—” Tav began, but Shadowheart silenced her by closing the distance and kissing her. 

In a way, the kiss was familiar—they had kissed plenty of times before. But there was something different about this one. Shadowheart knew what it was: for the first time, she wasn’t holding back, her heart was fully unshackled. And now Tav knew for certain that her feelings were returned. 

They finally had all of each other. For this moment, they could let go of doubts, fears, and burdens and simply exist in each other’s arms. The memory of the Shadowfell, with its pain and desperation, began to fade away. 

In its stead was just Tav. Shadowheart lost herself in the feel of Tav’s soft lips against hers, her familiar scent filling her nostrils. When their tongues met, it was a physical reminder that Tav was alive and okay. She was breathing, living, and here with her. 

The kiss continued until they were both out of breath. When they finally pulled apart, feeling lightheaded, Shadowheart rested her forehead against Tav’s and simply smiled. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, she was allowing herself to feel—truly feel—the weight of her love for Tav and she felt happy. It was a foreign feeling but her heart, her whole being, yearned more of that feeling. 

They stayed like that for a long while until they heard Jaheira clearing her throat. Both turned to look at the others, who were now standing. Jaheira was scowling lightly, though there was something else in her expression, too. Astarion looked irritated but not without a knowing twinkle in his eyes. Nocturne had respectfully averted her gaze but looked relieved. 

“Cute that you two are all lovey-dovey,” Astarion began, gesturing dramatically toward them, “but what in the hells happened? How are we here? And why, Shadowheart, did you skewer us?” His tone grew more heated with each word.

“I’m inclined to agree with Astarion. What exactly was that? And most importantly, are you still a threat?” Jaheira asked, her posture tense and ready to act if needed. 

“Was it Shar?” Nocturne asked quietly, turning to Shadowheart. Her voice faltered as she said her former mistress’s name. 

“I need to apologize to all of you,” Shadowheart said, lowering her gaze. “Shar... invaded my mind, trapping me in my own nightmarish memories. She used my body like a puppet to hurt you. I should have been stronger... for all of you. I’m so sorry.” 

Shadowheart looked each of her companions. Even if they had escaped the darkness, weariness was clear on everyone's eyes as the oppressive weight of the Shadowfell still clung to them like a phantom haze.

“But Shar won’t be able to do it again, right? We’re out of the Shadowfell,” Tav interjected quickly. 

“She shouldn’t. Not unless I... die.” 

A heavy silence fell over the group. 

“Well, we’d better make sure you don’t get killed, then,” Astarion said with a dramatic sigh. “For our own sake.”

“We also need to avoid places where Shar’s influence is strong,” Nocturne added, her voice quiet but resolute. 

Jaheira’s frown deepened. “You’re a danger to everyone close to you. That’s not something to be dismissed lightly.” 

“I know,” Shadowheart admitted, her voice heavy. “I don’t expect any of you to follow me after this.” Only Tav’s hand in hers gave her a shred of comfort in the moment. 

“I’m following you until the end, whatever that is. You know this,” Tav said with unshakable conviction. 

Nocturne offered a small smile. “And I’ll be right there with you.” 

“Well, I suppose...” Astarion froze mid-sentence, his gaze fixed beyond the group. “What in the hells?”  

Everyone followed his gaze and saw the thick clouds in the sky parting. There was something almost unnatural in the way they moved aside so fast, out of the way of the moon so brilliant it seemed to light the darkness of the night in silver fire, making everyone flinch. 

From the glow, a single bright beam of light broke free and headed towards Nightsong, bathing her body in its glow. Everybody stumbled backward, out of the way of its brilliance, as the light thickened. It almost seemed like it was becoming tangible, like liquid moonlight weaving itself around the aasimar. 

The glow illuminated the jagged wound on Nightsong's chest, revealing how the edges had begun to knit themselves together. When the beam struck the wound directly, the area blazed with such intensity that even looking at it stung.  

Shadowheart squinted, her breath caught as she watched the wound seal itself entirely. When the light dimmed, the jagged edges were gone, replaced by a thick golden seam etched into her skin. 

"By the Lady of Silver," Jaheira whispered, her voice uncharacteristically soft and filled with awe. 

The stone flooring of the tower beneath their feet seemed to hum. It was a deep, resonant vibration that shook their very cores. 

Nightsong's body began to ascend, rising gently above the group as if the light itself was pulling it gently upwards, towards the moon. Her limbs hung limp, and her hair cascaded downward like a shimmering waterfall, glowing under the silvery radiance.  

Suddenly, a burst of pale light encased her. They heard a deep gasp as Nightsong drew breath, life returning to her body. Though her eyes remained closed and her head tilted back, she was breathing now, her chest rising and falling steadily. 

The burst of light died down, but the soft silvery glow remained, encasing her whole body. Before their eyes, the tattered rags clinging to her body disintegrated into motes of pure light and were swept away like ashes in the wind. 

In their place, armor began to materialize, with each piece materializing out of the moonlight. The silver armor was adorned with patterns of faded gold and navy blue, etched with moons and stars—symbols of the Moonmaiden.  

Nightsong's eyes fluttered open, her silver irises locking on to the moon high above. Her lips curved into a serene smile. 

"She's... She's alive..." Shadowheart whispered, her mind struggling to grasp the miracle unfolding before her. The others stood in stunned silence, an awed hush falling over them. 

Nightsong extended her hand toward the moon, and a gleaming silvery sword materialized in her grasp. Its blade reflected the moonlight as if forged from her mother's very essence. 

Nightsong's wings burst forth next with another blinding eruption of light, unfurling from her back. Her wings stretched to their fullest glory, a resplendent arc seeming to span the entire moonlit sky. The countless white feathers on the wings shimmered under the moonlight. 

With a powerful whoosh, Nightsong turned to face the group, the gust of wind from her wings ruffling their hair. Nightsong's gaze fell on Shadowheart, and a look of recognition flickered in her eyes.  

The aasimar started to descend slowly back towards the group. Her feet touched the stone floor with a soft thud. Her wings folded behind her as she looked at each of them in turn as if she were taking their measure, her focus finally settling on Shadowheart. 

For a moment, no one spoke. The silence was absolute, as if even nature itself held its breath. Shadowheart’s chest constricted under the weight of Nightsong’s gaze, and she struggled to find the words to say. 

Nightsong spoke first. Her voice was strong and carried calmness with it. "You there. You killed me by your foul goddess's orders, and now you have carried me from the darkness into the light. Why?" 

"Nightsong..." Shadowheart started but was swiftly cut off by the aasimar. 

"I am Nightsong no more! I am Dame Aylin, the daughter of Selûne, the Lady of Silver," Aylin declared, her voice carrying authority with it. 

Aylin stepped closer to Shadowheart, who had to brace herself not to step back as the tall, impressive-looking aasimar towered over her. There was no malice in Aylin's gaze, more a curiosity wrapped around sadness. 

"Shar still has a grip on you, but less so, and not by your choice any longer," Aylin said, looking Shadowheart from head to toe. "There is also the gentle touch of mother's grace upon you." 

“It has been four years, and… much has changed,” Shadowheart managed, her voice barely above a whisper. “Most of it… quite recently. I didn’t know this would happen. I only… I only wanted to give you peace. I promised your mother I would.” 

Even though there was no imminent hostility in Aylin, her gaze was intense, and she seemed poised to act, her sword remaining unsheathed. The tension in the air was palpable as she contemplated Shadowheart's words, almost as though she was casting a judgement on her in her mind. 

Tav stepped forward to stand beside Shadowheart. "Shadowheart abandoned Shar and has been trying to atone for her past. We came here to bring your body back from the Shadowfell. We also brought Jaheira back to life after everything that happened when... you were killed." 

"I know it's not much compared to what I did to you... and the many good people who died as a consequence..." Shadowheart added, unsure how to go about explaining her past actions. 

"We would have brought back more if we had the means. Shadowheart tried to bring a cleric of Selûne back, but... but it didn't work out," Tav said, her words dying on her lips, unsure if she was making things better or worse. 

Aylin's head snapped to look at Tav. "A cleric of the Moonmaiden? Explain yourself." 

Tav recounted the events at the Last Light Inn, and the cleric's role in protecting the refugees before the group's fateful encounter with Aylin in the Shadowfell. 

"What was the name of this cleric?" Aylin demanded. 

"At the time, we just knew her as Isobel, but we have recently learned she was Isobel Thorm," Tav replied. 

"The daughter of Ketheric Thorm, who resided over this tower," Shadowheart clarified. 

Aylin’s expression darkened. "Do not speak falsehoods of her!" she snapped, her voice cracking like thunder. "Isobel Thorm has been dead for over a century! Dame Aylin was there when her body was laid to rest!" 

"The last we saw her, she was very much alive—well, until the incident in the Shadowfell," Astarion suddenly interjected dryly, folding his arms, "Believe me I know the difference between alive and dead."

Jaheira stepped forward, her voice steady. “They speak the truth, daughter of Selûne. This tale is complex. I fought against Ketheric Thorm centuries ago when he commanded Shar’s Dark Justiciars. We pushed him back but paid a great price. He unleashed the shadow-curse upon this land before he was defeated.” 

Aylin's full attention was now on Jaheira. 

"We were forced to retreat and abandon this place because of the curse. But four years ago, I returned here due to concerning reports, only to learn Ketheric Thorm lived once more. Back from the dead and invincible this time around, serving yet another god: Myrkul, the Lord of Bones." 

"I met Isobel here, down by the Last Light Inn," Jaheira continued, pointing in the direction of the inn. "I was probably the first one to meet her. She had the ability to protect us—she had cast a Moonmaiden's shield over the inn, keeping the deadly shadow-curse at bay." 

"And the protection faltered when I... when I killed you in the Shadowfell, dooming everyone in the inn to die," Shadowheart concluded. 

Aylin was quiet for a long time, gazing in the direction of the inn. "I must see this for myself. Where is she now? Where is my sweet Isobel?" Aylin demanded. 

"S-she is in the cemetery," Tav said hesitantly. 

"The cemetery by the inn," Shadowheart added. 

That was all it took for Dame Aylin to take flight and head for the Last Light Inn. Her wings flapped powerfully, creating gusts of wind as she soared through the sky at an almost inhuman speed. 

All their gazes followed her, tracking the silvery streak she left behind in the sky. 

“Well, I for one, didn’t see any of this coming,” Astarion commented with a nervous chuckle. 

“What do we do now?” Nocturne asked, confusion clear on her face as she struggled to piece together all the new information she had just learned. 

Jaheira glanced at Nocturne, then turned to look at Shadowheart and Tav. 

“Well, we see it through to the end, right, ex-Sharran?” Jaheira said with a lopsided grin, addressing Shadowheart. 

“Is... is that what you want, Shadowheart?” Tav asked. “You did what Selûne asked of you. We could leave now. You’ve been through a lot. We’ve all been through a lot.” 

Shadowheart took a deep breath, contemplating her options. But she already knew what her answer would be. There was no other path for her. 

“I’m going to follow Dame Aylin. I don’t expect any of you to accompany me, but I won’t stop you for following me either,” Shadowheart said.

To her surprise, everyone followed as she took her first steps down from Moonrise Towers. Tav was right behind her, her presence offering comfort. 

In the lower levels of the tower, they found signs of life. Shadowheart had sent spies as Mother Superior and she knew parts of Reithwin had been repopulated after the Absolute crisis, led by Halsin, but she hadn’t realized the plans had expanded to reclaim the tower. However, they quickly learned Halsin wasn’t in the area—he was visiting Emerald Grove. 

With no reason to linger, the group began their slow journey on foot to the Last Light Inn. The trip wasn’t that long, but it was arduous for Shadowheart. At first, she thought it was simply exhaustion from the day’s events. Then she realized it was something more—it had to do with her old Dark Justiciar armor. It didn’t fit her as it once had.

Frowning, she focused on the armor. With a start, she realized it had gone inert. The magic and enchantments were gone, stripped away. There was no doubt in her mind: this was Shar’s final goodbye—a farewell gift when Shadowheart had left Shadowfell. 

But she had no time to dwell on it, as the Last Light Inn came into view. The door was ajar, and objects were scattered on the ground, as though someone had searched the place in a great hurry. 

“The doing of our angelic friend, no doubt,” Jaheira muttered as they passed the inn. 

When they reached the cemetery, Aylin was kneeling beside Isobel’s body, which was covered by a linen cloth. They stood near the grave that Astarion and Nocturne had recently exhumed for the ritual. An open book lay nearby. 

“What is the meaning of her words?” Aylin asked, not even turning to look at them. 

Tav picked up the book, frowning. “You found her diary?” she asked. 

“I asked you—what is the meaning of it?” Aylin demanded again, her voice ringing out in the night as she suddenly stood and spun to face them. 

Tav looked at the book again and began to read aloud: “Ever since I returned, there’s been a filth in me. I feel it in my lungs. I cannot get it out—it will never be out, this death that reeks within me. There are some things even the Moonmaiden cannot heal. There are some things she would never accept in her devoted. I should never have come back.”

A heavy silence followed as they all absorbed the weight of the words. 

“Isobel was brought back somehow. Ketheric Thorm turned to Myrkul...” Shadowheart murmured, trying to piece together memories from that time. At the time, her mind had been consumed by her own quest to become a Dark Justiciar. 

“Was Ketheric truly so desperate that he pledged himself to Myrkul in exchange for his daughter’s life?” Jaheira murmured. 

“Nothing was too foul for that man! No betrayal too great!” Aylin exclaimed. 

“You!” Aylin turned to Shadowheart, her eyes blazing. “You tried to bring my sweet Isobel back? How? Tell me everything.” 

There it was again: “my sweet Isobel.” Shadowheart had overlooked it the first time in the middle of everything else, but now there was no doubt in her mind—Aylin and Isobel had been lovers. 

“I performed the rite of resurrection on her," Shadowheart explained, her voice low. "At first, the spell seemed to work, but finding her soul was hard, and there was something else—something rotten. Then it was all gone, and the ritual failed.” 

“It must be a foul curse cast by the Lord of Bones when he resurrected Isobel for Ketheric!” Aylin paced back and forth, agitated and lost in thought. 

Isobel’s grave lay near the shore. The night was calm, the water’s surface a perfect mirror reflecting the moonlight. Aylin stopped and stared at the water, then lifted her gaze to the moon. 

“Is it true, Mother? Isobel’s soul is not with you?” Aylin asked. 

A long silence followed. 

“How can this be? This shouldn’t be possible!” Aylin exclaimed, her back still turned to the group. 

“Mother, I beg you! You must help her! Free her from the clutches of that wretched god, Myrkul!” Aylin’s voice carried far in the still night. 

Silence again. Aylin seemed to listen to something the others couldn’t hear. Shadowheart could sense Selûne’s divine presence, but it wasn’t directed at her this time. 

“What do you mean you cannot interfere?” Aylin yelled. “Did you not just interfere by returning Dame Aylin back to the living!” 

“Mother, please. I rarely ask anything of you. Please give me this. Isobel is my everything—my mate most high! I cannot leave her soul to such a cruel fate! She has earned her place in your kingdom!” 

The silence stretched on. Shadowheart exchanged uneasy glances with Tav and the others, but none seemed the wiser. 

"No... I have been nothing but loyal to you all my life. I have smited injustice, evildoers and vile murtherers in your name. I endured a century in Shar’s clutches, my prayers never reaching your ears. " Aylin said, her voice breaking. She kept pleading with Selûne, refusing to accept the Moonmaiden's answer.

“What am I without her? What am I without her love? Not a woman, only the radiant sword of the Lady of Silver. Just the arm of justice, raining holy vengeance upon your enemies.”  

Her voice cracked further with every word. "Is this to be my fate now and forever? An eternity walked alone, while my love suffers eternally."

Aylin fell to her knees on the shore. The aasimar fell silent, her form still, wings furled against her back. The moonlight reflected from her armor, illuminating her solitary figure.

Slowly, she removed her helmet, placing it before her on the sand. The sound of it settling was the only noise in the still air. Even the night’s creatures had fallen silent, mourning with the daughter of the moon. Aylin’s gaze remained fixed on the helmet. 

"C'mon, everyone, let's not gawk. Let her grieve in peace," Jaheira said, her voice somber and quiet. "Let's go back to the inn, see if we can get some rest there, and regroup in the morning." 

Nocturne and Astarion nodded silently, quickly following Jaheira, as if the pain before them was so ancient and deep that just looking was unbearable. 

Tav turned to leave as well but noticed that Shadowheart was still watching Aylin, that sorrowful, broken look returning to her eyes. 

"Let's go, Shadowheart," Tav whispered, gently taking her hand and tugging at her. "You've done all you can here. It's time for us to move on and let her grieve." 

At first, Shadowheart didn’t react, but eventually, she nodded as Tav's words reached her troubled mind. Still, it was hard for her to tear her gaze away from Aylin and her sorrow. 

While Ketheric Thorm had doomed his daughter's soul, Shadowheart had played a part in her death. Now, she had to bear witness to the fruits of her wicked labor, and part of her wanted to punish herself—make herself watch Aylin's sorrow, to partake in it. 

In that moment, finding any kind of justice or redemption seemed like a distant dream. 

Chapter Text

A light breeze blew through the quiet night, the first force daring to defy the moment of sorrow taking place in the cemetery of the Last Light Inn. It ruffled Shadowheart's side-swept bangs and caressed her skin, bringing a touch of reality to the otherwise surreal moment. 

Not long ago, she had been trapped in the Shadowfell with her companions, enduring torture at the hands of her former so-called goddess, fighting her way out of there. Her friends had been on the brink of death, and her lover had nearly died in her arms. Then, as if torn from legend, a literal angel had been resurrected by the power of another goddess. And now, that same angel knelt before her, mourning the loss of her beloved. 

It was too much to take in, too much to process. Shadowheart found herself relying more on raw emotion than rational thought—a state completely unlike her. She had been taught to distance herself from her feelings, to approach every situation with cold calculation and ensure the desired outcome. Pushing her emotions aside to focus on the task at hand had always been something she had been good at. 

Now, she couldn't do any of that. Her feet took steps toward the figure kneeling on the shore on their own. She felt a tug at her hand, heard some words uttered—Tav trying to stop her. But she pulled herself free from Tav's grasp, her words never registering as Shadowheart made her way toward Aylin. 

When she was only a couple of feet away, Aylin suddenly spoke. "I have been loyal to you. But if I must defy you now, to get my sweet Isobel back, so be it." 

The aasimar stood up, finally making Shadowheart stop and realize what she was doing. The part of her that was always cautious told her to back away, to not take risks, to not care about things. At the end of the day, it wasn't her burden to bear, even if she had played her part in it long ago. But she remained still as the aasimar slowly turned around, as if sensing her presence. 

For a moment, both women stood motionless, staring at each other. It felt like Aylin was radiating the Moonmaiden's light; there was something almost ethereal about her. Shadowheart had felt it even when Aylin had been dead and imprisoned in the Shadowfell, but here, under her mother's radiant light, there was no doubt about it. 

"Good, you're still here," Aylin said, her silver eyes—heavy with regret and sadness—studying Shadowheart. 

Shadowheart opened her mouth but then closed it again. She had no idea what to say. 

Sorry that your lover is dead. Sorry that I played a part in it. Sorry that your mother, an actual goddess, refuses to help. Sorry that I don't have the strength to help.

Nothing was right, and nothing would make things right. 

"Tell me, not-so-Sharran, what became of Ketheric Thorm?" Aylin asked, her voice steady but laced with an undercurrent of bitterness. 

"He was part of a greater plot—one of the Chosen of the Death Three," Shadowheart replied. "We killed him four years ago." 

Shadowheart fell silent, watching Aylin for a reaction. But the aasimar only nodded, her piercing gaze never wavering. 

"Good," Aylin said at last. "It is well that his villainy was ended. He was not the man I once knew. Grief consumed him, and he never found his way back." Her voice softened at the end, trailing into silence. 

Shadowheart studied Aylin’s face. Amid the sorrow etched there, a spark of something new had emerged—a flicker of determination. 

"It means I can focus on Isobel now," Aylin said, her gaze shifting to the lifeless form of her beloved. When her eyes returned to Shadowheart, they burned with fierce resolve. Without warning, Aylin seized Shadowheart’s arm—not painfully, but with undeniable force. 

"Come, little warrior. There is work to be done." 

The words jolted Shadowheart from her thoughts, her heart quickening as Aylin’s intensity bore down on her. A flicker of unease passed through her, the aasimar’s intentions unclear.  

"What do you mean? I’m not doing anything until you explain yourself," Shadowheart shot back, her voice firmer than she felt. She was acutely aware there wasn't an ounce of magic left in her if things escalated and she needed to defend herself.  

Her eyes darted around the area, searching for reassurance. Her gaze landed on Tav, standing nearby. Tav's body was poised to act, her sharp eyes observing the interaction with quiet vigilance. The sight sent a wave of calm through Shadowheart, calming her raging heart down. 

"Not cowering before the mighty Dame Aylin? You have fire—good. We're going to need that," Aylin said, approval clear in her voice. 

"You are going to perform the ritual again, but not a mere resurrection this time. You will perform the rite of True Resurrection." 

"True Resurrection? That is beyond my skills. I know of the ritual, but I am not powerful enough to perform it—at least not yet," Shadowheart protested. 

"You will be, with Dame Aylin by your side," Aylin said with conviction. 

Shadowheart could feel it—the power brimming under the aasimar's skin, ready to be shared with her. 

"Are you not aware of the price asked for such a rite? I can assure you, I don't carry that kind of treasure in my pockets," Shadowheart shook her head, unconvinced. 

"Oh, but we do, little warrior," Aylin said almost softly. "You don't need to worry about that. You just need to help me with the ritual." 

"And how will a ritual of True Resurrection fare any better than the one I did?" Shadowheart asked. 

"It removes curses." 

Shadowheart blinked, her gaze fixed on the aasimar’s face. Amid the vast sorrow in Aylin’s eyes, a faint glimmer of hope shone through—a hope that struck a chord deep within Shadowheart. It was the same fragile hope she had only recently allowed herself to embrace and seek. 

That hope was something she could offer to Aylin, and it would be a chance to atone for her own sins in the process. But doubt gnawed at her. Would aiding Aylin go against Selûne’s will? She didn’t know. All she knew was that, if she were in Aylin’s place—with Tav’s life hanging in the balance—she would want someone to help her too, regardless of divine whims. 

Surely the Lady of Silver would understand that. Aylin was her daughter, after all. Yet Shadowheart couldn’t help but wonder why Selûne hadn’t intervened herself. Why leave her daughter’s fate in mortal hands when a single act of divine will could change everything? 

"Fine. I will give it a go then. Just be aware I can't make any guarantees," Shadowheart relented. 

"None of us can, little warrior, but try we must nonetheless," Aylin said solemnly, laying her hand on Shadowheart's shoulder. 

At the contact, Aylin's radiant glow grew brighter, and Shadowheart felt energy crackling in the air between them. That same divine energy filled her, starting from the contact point of Aylin's hand. It imbued her with a fragment of Aylin's power.  

Shadowheart felt rejuvenated—the exhaustion she had felt earlier from expending her magical capabilities faded, and her strength was returning. She could feel it tingling in her fingertips. 

But most of all, there was something new—something that had been out of her reach. She had been close to understanding it, every time she learned more, gained more experience, but this kind of potent magic had always eluded her. Now, with Aylin's magic flowing into her, she felt it for the first time. 

The possibilities the temporary power opened up for her swirled in Shadowheart's mind, but she focused her attention on one thing: what she knew about the rite of True Resurrection. Parts of it she hadn't understood before, fragments that had been beyond her grasp, now lay before her, clear as day. 

"I know what to do," Shadowheart whispered. 

The hope in Aylin's eyes burned ever brighter, almost rivaling the divine glow she exuded. 

Together, the three women set out to prepare the ritual near the shore, where the light of Selûne shone brightly above, the moon hanging in the sky. Its silver glow cascaded down to touch the tranquil surface of the water, creating the illusion of a luminous bridge forming across the lake, seeming to lead straight to her embrace. 

Shadowheart's gaze lingered on the sight before she turned to look at Aylin. "I am her cleric now. She's the font of my divine powers... do you think she will refuse when I invoke this ritual?" 

Aylin raised her eyes to the moon, her gaze carrying sorrow old and new but also defiance. "I can not say. We must try regardless." 

Shadowheart prepared the sacred oils and incense while Dame Aylin and Tav drew the circle and the necessary holy symbols on Shadowheart's instructions. Together, they moved Isobel's body to the center of the circle and finished the ritual with lit candles. The runes glowed dimly with divine power, giving Shadowheart hope that, on some level, Selûne approved of what they were doing—or at least wasn't going to actively stop them.

When everything was ready, her eyes locked with Tav's, who was standing to the side. Shadowheart walked over to her. "I know you worry about me, but I need to do this, Tav." 

Tav gave her a small, encouraging smile. "I wouldn't dream of trying to change your mind. I know how important this is to you. I'll be here, keeping an eye on things, should you need me." 

Shadowheart nodded and leaned in to press a quick kiss to Tav's lips. Then she returned to Aylin, who had been watching their interaction without even trying to hide it. "You might understand why this is so important to me better than I first thought," Aylin said quietly. 

Shadowheart nodded slowly, still feeling the warmth of Tav's kiss lingering on her lips. "Perhaps." 

They had arranged Isobel's body so that her head faced the moon. Shadowheart knelt, aligning herself so she would face the moon as well. She didn't have her sword, her holy symbol anymore—the moon itself would act as one tonight.  

Prayer fell from Shadowheart's lips. Her words were still a bit uncertain, but more confident than the first time she had tried to bring Isobel back. She prayed to Selûne once again to reverse the finality of death itself, to loosen and break its chains. 

"Lady of Silver, hear my prayer. Grant me your strength to bring back this soul that was taken before her time." 

Aylin knelt next to her, her entire focus on Shadowheart as she observed the ritual in silence. 

"I beseech you, grant Isobel Thorm passage back to the realm of the living," Shadowheart whispered. 

For a moment, Shadowheart held her breath, sure Selûne would refuse her after all. But then the runes lit up brighter. A sudden gust of wind swept over them, making the candles flicker. Instead of extinguishing them, the wind made the flames burn brighter. Shadowheart could feel it—Selûne's presence descending from the moon and enveloping them and the ritual in wordless acceptance. 

Shadowheart continued praying, her head tilting upward to the skies. Her eyes glowed with divine power, unseeing in the material world. Channeling the power of the ritual through her body and mind was more familiar now. Her consciousness reached beyond the veil separating the material world from the realm of the dead, searching for Isobel's soul once again. 

"Isobel Thorm, it is not your time yet," Shadowheart called out. "Are you willing to return to us? To your lover Aylin? She and the world still need your light." 

This time, she felt an answer more quickly, like a hand reaching for her, desperate yet weak and fading. 

"It's the same again—so hard to reach her," Shadowheart said through gritted teeth, sweat dripping down her temples. 

"I will aid you, then," she heard Aylin say and suddenly the aasimar's hand touched hers. 

Aylin's touch was like a jolt of power, amplifying the ritual already underway. Shadowheart felt weightless for a moment, the tethers to the Material Plane fading from her senses. Suddenly, her vision cleared, and this time she actually saw everything. Before her laid a vast expanse of a sea of stars. They were on a giant piece of rock floating through endless space. 

"Are we really here? How?" Shadowheart asked Aylin in wonder. 

"As for how, my divine powers have many aspects, we're here not in flesh, but in spirit," Aylin murmured. "And regarding here... This is most definitely not the Fugue Plane nor my mother's realm. My Mother was telling the truth about Isobel, not that I ever doubted her." 

"It's the Astral Plane," Shadowheart murmured, recognizing the place. She had accompanied Tav here once before, when they first met the Emperor. 

Aylin nodded in agreement as they took in the Astral Plane, an endless cosmic canvas of wonder. It stretched infinitely in all directions, with no up or down—only vast stillness, which was unsettling. Shadowheart's thoughts drifted to Lae'zel for a brief moment, wondering if she was still raging a war against Vlaakith somewhere in this infinite expanse. 

She was brought back to the moment by Aylin's words. "I think I feel her. She's close by—my Isobel." 

"I feel her too." Shadowheart was able to sense the fragile connection that had formed between her and Isobel's soul during the ritual. 

"We must make haste, but also exercise caution," Aylin said. "Dying here could affect our physical forms back on the Material Plane, and it will most certainly cause the ritual to fail." 

"Right." 

"All manner of creatures and entities inhabit this place. We can't allow our spirits to be captured under any circumstances." 

Shadowheart's eyes widened; she hadn't even considered such a thing as a possibility. Still, they had to move forward, so she nodded grimly and followed Aylin as she set forth. 

Islands of rock and floating debris hovered all around them. Shadowheart caught glimpses of something even stranger: petrified corpses of ancient, long-dead gods floating amidst the chaos, dotted with strange structures here and there. Beyond them, stars twinkled in the velvety void, an endless sea of silver shards glittering against the backdrop of deep, velvety blue. Clouds of radiant light seemed painted there by a divine hand, their hues shifting from violet to pale pink and beyond. 

In a way, it was a place untethered from mortal comprehension. 

"There! See that cavern? I sense not only Isobel's soul beckoning mine but also a foul energy coming from within," Aylin said, keeping her voice uncharacteristically low. "Who knows what nasty surprises Myrkul has in store." 

"Is he really in a position for setting up resistance?" Shadowheart asked. 

Aylin looked troubled as she gazed at the cavern's entrance. "Even if Myrkul is a fading god, we must proceed with caution. No harm must come to my Isobel." 

Shadowheart nodded, and they turned their attention to the cavern looming ahead. The entrance was a jagged tear in the earth, shrouded in shadows that seemed to writhe and shift in the dim light. 

Aylin tilted her head as if sensing something unseen. She was quiet for a moment before turning to Shadowheart. "If there is trouble ahead, we might have to fight." 

"Fight?" Shadowheart inquired, keeping her voice quiet. "How do you suppose we fight in this form?" 

"I will fight with my divine strength. You will have to rely on your mortal willpower," Aylin explained, her form glowing with silvery light. "Just as you can move here by sheer force of will and intent, you can fight as well." 

Shadowheart took a deep breath, preparing herself. "Okay, I think I'm ready. Or as ready as I will be in this moment." 

They stepped into the dark cavern. It was a hollow space carved into the earth, hosting a vortex even darker than the cavern itself. The scent of death and decay exuded from it, cold and despairing. It was eerily quiet, and Shadowheart could swear she heard spirits whispering Myrkul's name. 

"Forth," Aylin commanded, approaching the swirling vortex and stepping through it. Shadowheart swallowed hard and followed. 

On the other side, a haunting realm of desolation stretched out before them. The cracked ground was jagged and ashen, with bones and skulls protruding from the surface. Sickly green veins of light pulsed slowly, like a dying heartbeat. 

Above them, the sky—if it could even be called that—was a churning void of black and gray. The air was heavy and cold, with the acrid stench of decay. Each breath felt like drawing in the weight of despair itself, as if the place were draining their energy. 

"A pocket dimension created by Myrkul himself, no doubt," Aylin said. The light she had exuded earlier seemed dimmed in this washed-out landscape. "Most likely one of the many reasons why your first ritual had trouble locating Isobel's soul. We cannot linger here long." 

A temple made of bones stood like a grotesque monument at the center of the bleak expanse, its skeletal pillars rising from the ashen ground like the ribs of some ancient, long-dead titan. Faint whispers drifted from it, like mournful wind. 

Aylin started toward it, drawn by something unseen. Shadowheart could sense it too. There were multiple souls trapped here—she was almost certain, sensing their faint echoes. Yet, because of the ritual she had performed, Isobel's soul was clearer now, its echoes leading them to the open-air temple of bones ahead. 

The floor of the temple was made of black stone, with an obsidian altar at its heart. Countless skulls embedded in the pillars and other structures seemed to stare at them with malice, their empty eye sockets fixed on the intruders. The air reeked of death and rot even more strongly here. 

The altar pulsed with sinister energy, warning anyone from approaching. On top of it lay Isobel's soul, a radiant yet fragile sphere of silver-blue light. As they approached, the soul flickered briefly, as though struggling against the malevolent force binding it. Around the altar, black chains shimmered with eldritch energy, extending from the ground like tendrils, coiling and tightening around the soul. 

Suddenly, a hollow voice echoed through the space. 

“Meddling fools, you dare trespass on what is mine? You are powerless to defy the laws of the divine.” 

Aylin stepped forward, her celestial light flaring with anger. “You have no claim to her. Her soul belongs to my mother's realm, you vile thief!” 

The voice did not answer. Instead, shadows gathered in the space. A shape emerged—a tall, hooded figure with a scythe that gleamed like obsidian. Behind it, a second figure appeared, a grotesque being put together with decaying flesh and exposed bone, dripping with sickly green ichor. A third followed: a chaotic storm of flickering light and formless shadow, constantly shifting and changing shape. 

Aylin drew her radiant sword, its celestial light cutting through the suffocating darkness the wraiths brought with them. “Death, Decay, and Entropy. Myrkul sends his pets to guard what he has stolen. Looks like we have a fight in our hands, just like I anticipated.” 

Shadowheart took a battle stance and willed her spear to form in her hands. She tried to keep in mind what Aylin had told her about fighting in this realm as she prepared herself. Aylin raised her sword toward the darkened skies, a bright silvery light engulfing her as she seemed to radiate the light of the moon itself, her aura burning with divine rage. 

"Beware of Death. Do not succumb to the despair it brings; you must fight against the inevitability of it. To overcome Decay, hold onto hope to resist the erosion of your spirit. Conquer the chaos of Entropy by trusting the bond between me and you in this moment as we fight as one, creating harmony in its place," Aylin instructed, speaking as quickly as she could. 

Then Aylin surged forward, her sword ready to smite the wraiths. "Burn in her silvery light!" 

The battle was fast and chaotic. Death surged toward Aylin, coming for her with its scythe raised high. It made a swiping gesture as if reaping wheat. Aylin met its attack with a swipe of her own sword, the weapons meeting in the air and locking in a furious contest, the flash almost blinding. Merely being in Aylin's radiant aura seemed to harm the creature, but it held firm. 

"I'll keep this one busy!" Aylin yelled. 

Meanwhile, the decaying wraith approached Shadowheart, its claws dripping with spectral rot as it lashed at her. Shadowheart willed her shield to materialize, blocking the hit. In the corner of her eye, she saw Entropy taking advantage of her distraction and lashing at her with conjured tendrils seeming to come from a void. 

She swiftly sidestepped to get out of their reach and used the momentum to strike at Decay, forcing it to retreat. But the chaos of Entropy wasn’t so easily contained, and multiple tendrils shot out of nowhere, forcing Shadowheart to seize her attack as they snared her arm, yanking her away from Decay. She willed the divine power she channeled forward, burning away the tentacles gripping her. 

Meanwhile, Aylin was so focused on battling Death that she didn’t notice the tendrils weaving a net of darkness around her. The aasimar let out a battle roar, her light pulsed and then flared brighter. Even restrained, her divine power wasn’t to be contained. She drove the tip of her sword into the ground, radiant power exploding outward and severing most of the tentacles, though not enough to fully free her. 

"Dame Aylin!" Shadowheart shouted, blasting a bolt of divine energy at the tendrils. It burned some of them while Aylin ripped free from the last of them with a guttural yell, her blade swinging in a wide arc that cleaved through the chains. 

"Dame Aylin will not be stopped!" the aasimar snarled, her brilliantly glowing wings unfurling as she leapt back into the fray, going after Death again. Her strikes were a blur of divine fury, the might of the heavens and Selûne's silvery light burning with each hit and smite. 

This momentary distraction cost Shadowheart dearly as Decay took advantage, swiping at her with its claws. This time, they found purchase, raking across her side—not cutting into her flesh but tearing at her spirit. 

The necrotic energy coursing through Shadowheart made her cry out, and her spirit flickered ominously. She stumbled, trying to maintain both her concentration on the ritual and her connection to the Material Plane. She hissed and quickly channeled healing magic to stabilize herself, burning away the rot and restoring her focus, but the effort left her shaken. 

Seeing Shadowheart falter made Aylin’s divine wrath burn brighter. She drove her sword into Death’s chest, the impact causing the wraith to stagger.  

Decay was coming at Shadowheart again, and she rallied herself to clash with it once more. But once again, this left Entropy free to unleash its chaos. The ground below them trembled and shifted, becoming jagged and unstable.  

Aylin was forced to take flight, while Shadowheart scrambled to find her footing. A wall of flickering dark energy surged toward her, threatening to engulf her. She raised her shield just in time, bracing herself against the oppressive force. “Aylin!” she yelled, desperate for aid. But the aasimar was locked in a fierce battle with Death, unable to help. 

Sweat dripped down Shadowheart’s temples as Decay and Entropy closed in on her, their presence suffocating. 

To overcome Decay, hold onto hope to resist the erosion of your spirit. Dame Aylin’s words from earlier echoed in her mind. She couldn’t give up hope. Clenching her jaw, she willed herself to push back against the dark energy, carving out a momentary space to breathe.

Then she felt it—hope. It was almost tangible, a force she could feel. 

Her eyes snapped upward just in time to see a glowing dagger slicing through the air. It buried itself in Decay’s chest. While the wraith howled in pain, a familiar figure stepped out of the shadows, making Shadowheart's heart leap. Tav. Her twin daggers glowed with pure light, their brilliance cutting through the oppressive darkness.  

"Tav?" Shadowheart gasped. 

"Missed me?" Tav asked with a lopsided smirk. 

"Always," Shadowheart called to her. "I see you were unable to resist the theatrics," she quipped, nodding toward Tav’s glowing daggers. 

"I couldn’t let you two have all the fun," Tav quipped back as she ducked under one of Decay’s swipes, her movements precise as she landed a series of counterstrikes, tearing at the wraith’s form. 

“Ah! Reinforcements at last!” Aylin called with a pleased smile. 

Tav nodded, giving Aylin a smile in return. "I was able to hear everything you two said and it seemed you might need some help." 

"You are most welcome sight," Aylin replied.

Shadowheart's lips pulled into a small grin and she gave a nod. "Let’s finish this." 

"For Isobel!" Aylin boomed. 

The three of them quickly turned the tide of battle in their favor. Tav’s agile movements and attacks disrupted Entropy’s plans, while Shadowheart willed her spiritual guardians to manifest into the space, tearing at Myrkul’s abominations and forcing Decay to retreat. 

Death sensed the turn of the tide, but as an inevitable force of nature, it didn’t know the concept of defeat, so it pushed forward. With a massive sweep of its scythe, it managed to tear through Aylin’s celestial armor, making her cry out as her spiritual form flickered dangerously. 

Shadowheart rushed to her side, shielding Aylin with her shield made of pure energy as the aasimar healed and collected herself. Meanwhile, Tav created distractions, countless daggers of pure light flying out of her hands one after another, forcing the wraiths to focus on dodging them. 

Aylin took a deep breath, gripped her sword tightly, and turned to regard the wraiths again.  

"You filth will pay for what you have done to Isobel!" she yelled, a burst of divine energy enveloping her again, making her eyes glow brilliantly. She took flight and charged at Death with inhuman speed, driving her sword through the wraith with such momentum that it shattered, tearing its form asunder. 

Meanwhile, Tav tore into Entropy’s chaotic form, her quick dagger work dismantling it into pieces. No matter how much Entropy tried to shift and change to escape Tav's daggers, there was no reprieve for it. No escape for Entropy as Tav’s daggers dismantled its chaotic essence. 

Invigorated by her companions’ triumphs, Shadowheart raised her spear toward the heavens, then brought it down, igniting a concentrated blast of the fiercest sunlight. The searing beam of radiant energy lanced through the bleakness. The air crackled with power as the light burned the wraith, making it wail in agony as its rotten spectral form disintegrated into wisps of shadow—until even those were gone. 

For a moment, the space was illuminated by the bright light, but then it and the wraiths were gone, leaving only an echo of its roar. The three of them stood amidst the stillness, their breaths heavy but their resolve unbroken. 

"That's dealt with, but we have no time to celebrate our victory," Aylin said, sheathing her sword. 

"Time is not on our side. If we linger, who knows what else Myrkul will send our way—or if those wraiths come back," Shadowheart agreed. 

"I'll be outside the temple, keeping watch," Tav whispered, brandishing her daggers and looking for a good vantage point. 

Meanwhile, Shadowheart and Aylin turned their attention back to the grotesque temple and the altar lying inside. Aylin stepped back in without hesitation, approaching the altar and stopping before it. Shadowheart came to stand beside her, gazing down at Isobel's chained soul. 

"Her soul... even her soul is the most beautiful, burning like a bright star, as though nothing could extinguish its beauty," Aylin murmured, her voice filled with reverence. Her hand extended to touch the ball of energy—gently, carefully, as if it were the most precious thing in the world. And Shadowheart realized that to Aylin, it was. It was her whole world. 

"Isobel..." A broken whisper escaped Aylin's lips as a tear fell down her cheek. 

Shadowheart bit her lip, not wanting to disturb the moment, but she had to speak with her—they couldn't linger in this ritual, in the Astral Plane, for too long.  

"Aylin, we both know fully well something isn't right, for her soul to be chained like that... I don't know what to do—how to free her." 

"Agreed. It is not the order of things that Kelemvor, Lord of Death, hath deemed to be," a gravelly voice intoned. 

They both were startled by the voice and turned towards the source to see a figure standing near them, gazing at the soul and then at them with an emotionless expression. 

"Withers?" Shadowheart asked, blinking a couple of times to ensure he was really there. 

"Thy wheel of Fate turns ever to the light," Withers said, his cadence slow, deep, and measured as always, while his piercing eyes held Shadowheart's gaze. 

"Why are you here?" Shadowheart asked. 

"Shouldst thou not know by now? When matters of balance are in question, I am oft the one to keep the records. Thou hast performed the rightful ritual, yet the balance here hath been disturbed. Thus, my presence is demanded." 

"What do you mean? Do not speak in riddles about balance!" Dame Aylin demanded. "Is it not so that the Ritual of True Resurrection purges curses cast upon the soul? Then what is this?" she exclaimed, pointing at the chained soul of her lover. 

"Correct. Yet this is not merely the work of a curse. Myrkul, the Lord of Bones, hath a claim upon Isobel Thorm's soul," Withers said. 

"How can that be? Isobel was a faithful of Selûne all her life! Her soul should be with my mother!" "Myrkul hath done a foul deal with Ketheric Thorm. Her life was returned to her upon the Material Plane in exchange for his servitude in life and for both his and her souls in the afterlife. This deal gaveth Myrkul the power to claim her soul ere it could enter the Fugue Plane and the City of Judgment, where the Moonmaiden might rightfully contest his claim."

"That villain of a father sold the soul of his own daughter!? And now Myrkul keeps her hidden here! Why?" Aylin exclaimed, her voice so loud she might as well have been yelling, though it was oddly muted in the liminal space. 

Withers remained quiet, gazing at them unflinchingly. 

"His avatar... Myrkul's avatar consumed his followers. He's a fading god..." Shadowheart trailed off, looking troubled. 

"What are you suggesting, little warrior? That he captured her to consume her?" Aylin demanded, turning to Shadowheart. 

Shadowheart nodded grimly. "I can sense other souls here. Surely you can too. Some of them feel... weakened, faded..." 

Withers nodded ever so slightly. "Thus, the divine balance hath been violated." 

For a moment, it seemed Dame Aylin might fly off to find Myrkul wherever he was rotting and smite the remains of him to smithereens. But then she calmed down, her face morphing into mask of sorrow. 

"Is she suffering?" Aylin asked Withers quietly. 

"It is not for me to say with certainty what the Lord of Bones does, though he is known for... unnecessary cruelty. Yet thou might take solace in this: when her soul returneth to her body, her mind will not retain the memories of her time here."  

"You mean to say it is possible to bring her back despite the deal?" Shadowheart asked. 

Aylin seemed to hold her breath as she waited for Withers to answer. 

Withers regarded the foul temple and then said in a deep, slow voice: "Myrkul." 

A breeze of rot and decay filled the place. The air itself shimmered with something dark and twisted. Then, over the altar, a skeletal visage appeared, looking down at them with hollow eyes. 

"A dangerous game thou dost play, Lord of Bones. Thou twisteth the very laws that govern life and death, bending them to serve thy waning grasp on power," Withers said, his voice filling the space. "This soul was never thine to claim. The pact was not forged with her but with Ketheric Thorm—a coward's bargain, circumventing the very principles thou once upheld." 

"Jergal... do not interfere with matters that do not concern you," the visage hissed, the space trembling with the echoes of his foul power. 

"Jergal?" Shadowheart whispered to herself, her eyes widening in realization, though she voiced none of her thoughts. 

“I am death incarnate. The laws are mine to interpret. What is agency to a mortal? A fleeting illusion. I claimed her because her father’s devotion bound her to me. The pact is unbreakable.” Myrkul boomed. 

"I may once have been fool enough to grant thee thy station, but long ago didst thou prove unworthy of it. Thou hast strayed further than I ever foresaw—making deals over mortals' heads, chaining and consuming souls that belong to other gods. Thou danger the balance for thine own selfish gain, clinging to a shadow of power, twisting the cosmic order to stave off thine irrelevance." 

Jergal’s form loomed larger, his voice ringing with divine authority. “Thou thinkest thyself clever, but every thread thou unravel weakeneth the tapestry of existence. Dost thou believe the other gods will not take note of thy machinations? Recall the meddling thou and thy ilk committed with the Illithids. Even now, thy actions send ripples across the planes. The City of Judgment stirs restlessly from thy interference. And Kelemvor watches thee.” 

Myrkul grew silent, his skeletal visage staring at Jergal malevolently, but he was powerless to do more than that at the moment. 

“Mark my words, Myrkul: continue down this path, and thou shalt not only fade but fall. There are forces older and mightier than thee, and they will not suffer this desecration. Begone, vermin.” Disdain dripped from Jergal's words, and with a wave of his hand, Myrkul’s visage vanished. 

For a moment, it looked as if his usually stoic mask was overtaken with sorrow and regret, but it was gone once he turned to address Dame Aylin and Shadowheart. 

"It is not just to strike such a bargain with another's soul. I shall sever the chains binding Isobel Thorm and free her from this foul pact. Yet, we must abide by the rules of the rite. Thou must be both able and willing to pay the price for its completion," Jergal decreed. 

Dame Aylin was quiet for a moment before speaking with unshakable conviction. "Yes, I am ready to pay the price." 

"I sense no precious gems affixed to this ritual. What is thy price?" Jergal inquired. 

"My immortality is the payment—the divine gift of my mother's heritage," Aylin said. 

Shadowheart whipped her head to stare at Aylin, her eyes widening, thoughts whirling in her mind, though she voiced none of them. 

"I will sacrifice my immortality for the freedom of Isobel's soul and for her body to be brought back to life," Aylin repeated, her voice growing even stronger. There was unshakable conviction in her eyes. Her divine glow flickered in response to her declaration. 

For a moment, it was completely silent in the space as Jergal contemplated the unusual offer. His hollowed-out eyes held Aylin's gaze, as if taking her measure. Then he nodded solemnly. "Thy payment hath been accepted." 

Shadowheart kept staring at Aylin in shock, she saw in Aylin's eyes the same heartbreak and resolve she herself had felt when she had defied Shar for Tav. Shadowheart knew the depths of devotion and the blessings of the divine. Shadowheart also knew what it meant to sacrifice it all for love. Aylin might have been the daughter of Selûne, a divine being beyond mortal comprehension, but in this moment, Shadowheart felt undeniable kinship with her.

A piece of parchment and a quill materialized in Jergal's hands. With one deliberate stroke of his quill, he dispelled the chains binding Isobel’s soul. The soul flared, its glow even brighter now. Meanwhile Aylin's light dimmed noticeably but wasn't gone entirely. She blinked a couple of times, as if getting used to sensations she had never felt before. 

Neither had any time process what happened as Isobel's soul was moving toward Aylin and Shadowheart. Aylin stepped forward, cupping it carefully in her hands. The heartbreak and resolve in her eyes transformed into relief and love.

"Go in peace. The ritual is complete, and the price hath been paid," Jergal declared. 

"Thank you, Withers... Jergal," Shadowheart said. 

Withers nodded almost unnoticeably and vanished once again. 

Shadowheart started to pray, continuing the rite. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, they were back in the Material Plane, just as they had left it.  

Immediately Shadowheart's gaze sought out Tav, and she found her kneeling on her right side where she must have moved to in order to join the ritual and their fight in the Astral Plane. Tav was still holding her hand. Shadowheart sighed in relief and smiled. Tav offered her a reassuring smile in return.

Aylin was kneeling on her left side, Isobel's soul resting on her left hand, her right still holding Shadowheart's. Tears of joy wetted her cheeks. Aylin turned to look at Shadowheart, gratitude clear in her eyes. Shadowheart nodded and shifted her gaze to the soul. 

"Isobel Thorm, are you willing to return to the land of the living? Your light is still needed and your love waits for you here," Shadowheart said softly. 

The soul responded to her call and shifted forward. It floated until it hovered over Isobel's physical remains, then descended, disappearing into her chest. 

The runes roared with light, burning brighter than ever. A blast of radiance erupted from Isobel's chest. The moon seemed to hang lower in the sky, larger than before, and Shadowheart could feel Selûne's presence growing stronger, empowering the ritual. 

"Let there be life once more," Shadowheart whispered. 

The light grew brighter and brighter until it was blinding, forcing them to shield their eyes.  

Then it became quiet. Shadowheart opened her eyes and stared at the body still covered in linen. She held her breath, just as Aylin did beside her. Then they heard it—a deep breath.  

Aylin moved to shove the linen aside, revealing Isobel Thorm, alive and well, her body restored. She looked exactly as she had been the day Shadowheart last saw her. 

A disoriented pair of silver eyes looked back at her, then at Aylin, widening in recognition. 

"My love!" Aylin wailed and helped Isobel up, but she was too weak and fell to her knees.  

Aylin knelt with her, helping her stay upright. Disoriented, Isobel clung to Aylin for support as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing and feeling, her eyes locking with Aylin's. "Is it really you, Aylin? How can this be?" Isobel asked, her voice was rough and parched.

"It is me. And as for how, I shall tell you all about it later," Aylin murmured, her trembling hands caressing Isobel's cheek. "But for now, let me just hold you, my love." 

With that, Aylin carefully pulled Isobel into her arms. Isobel seemed to melt into her, her hands clutching Aylin's shoulders, her face buried in the curve of Aylin's neck. A raw and broken sob tore from Aylin's throat as she held her long-lost lover. 

In the moment, no words were needed—just the familiar presence of the other as they melted into the hug. It was as though their bodies remembered each other vividly, even though a century and more had passed since they had last embraced. 

The only sound in the moment was the gentle lapping of waves against the shore. Moonlight itself seemed to gather around them, as if embracing them too—a quiet witness to the reunion. 

The embrace felt both endless and fleeting when Aylin finally drew back just enough to see Isobel's face. Her fingers gently wiped away a couple of stray tears staining Isobel's cheeks. "I thought I had lost you forever." 

"So did I. But you're really here. And so am I," Isobel whispered. 

"I'm here," Aylin echoed, gazing into Isobel's eyes, the silvery depths mirroring hers—the pain of their love and lives almost lost giving way to the joy of an unexpected reunion. 

"My angel..." Isobel leaned toward Aylin, who tilted her head, the distance between them closing. Their lips met, soft and almost hesitant at first, brushing against each other as if in greeting. Then Aylin's hands found their way to Isobel's waist, gently pulling her closer, and Isobel's fingers slid into her hair, gently tugging her closer, as though she didn't want to let her go. 

The world around them seemed to melt away—there was no pain, no gods, no chains—just the two lovers and their undying love for each other. 

Meanwhile, Shadowheart and Tav quietly retreated. With one last glance at the embracing lovers, they walked hand in hand toward the Last Light Inn. 

Shadowheart had never felt so exhausted—not even after abandoning Shar. Her bone-weary steps faltered, but Tav was immediately there to catch her. 

"I think I need to sit down for a moment." 

Tav nodded and helped her sit on the grass. "Quite the day, wasn't it?" 

"You could say that again..." Shadowheart chuckled darkly. Her gaze drifted beyond the lake to the mausoleum, its looming presence darkening her expression. She remembered exactly what it hid beneath. 

"Tav..." Shadowheart started, but then grew quiet. 

"Yes, love?" Tav prompted softly, moving closer and lacing their fingers together. 

Shadowheart looked at their joined hands, then back into Tav's eyes. "How long... how long was I gone? In the Shadowfell, I mean... when the Shadow took over." 

"It wasn't that long. No more than a few minutes, I'd say," Tav replied, recalling the chaos of the situation. "Why do you ask?" 

Shadowheart was quiet for a long moment, and then she looked into Tav's eyes once more. What Tav saw there almost broke her heart——raw, unsoothable pain. She had no idea how anything could soothe a wound so deep.  

"Shar had me trapped in my memories... it didn’t feel like minutes... it felt like I was reliving the worst moments of my life." Her voice trailed off, barely a whisper. Tav was barely able to make out the last few words.  

"I'm sorry, Shadowheart," Tav whispered, pulling her into an embrace. "That's... Shar is a monster." 

Shadowheart buried her face into the crook of Tav's neck, her arms wrapped around Tav's back, clinging to her like she was an anchor—for her, in many ways, Tav was. Shadowheart could feel herself standing on the precipice of the memories, fearing she would fall over the edge again and drown in the horrors of her past. 

Memories of pain, blood, and despair flashed through her mind. She grimaced, struggling to keep them out. They tried to worm their way back into her mind, relentless. 

She was so tired of it. So tired of the pain. It was crushing. How much easier it would be to give in, to return to the fold and let the mirror erase the painful memories. To forget it all. 

Ignorance truly was bliss.  

But one glance at Tav, and Shadowheart knew she could never do that. She could never go back. She could never hurt Tav—or herself—again, not if she had any say in it. She knew it was just her fears and exhaustion whispering words of subjugation into her ear.  

"I'm sorry you had to go through that again," Tav murmured, tracing soothing patterns on Shadowheart’s back. Shadowheart still wasn’t used to this—being comforted, cared for. 

"What if it happens again? What if I can't resist her? What if..." Shadowheart's voice broke. 

An image of her bloodied hands holding a sharp knife flashed in her mind. She gasped, a deep shudder running through her. Her heart raced, pressure building in her chest. 

"You're not there anymore. You're safe. You're here with me, and we're safe now," Tav murmured into her ear. "We'll do everything we can to keep this from happening again." 

"I’ll hold you through the night, whisper this to you as many times as you need," Tav said, her words calming Shadowheart. She relaxed, her heart rate slowing. 

"I'm so glad you're here," Shadowheart whispered, leaning toward Tav, their foreheads resting against each other.  

"There's no place I'd rather be than by your side," Tav whispered and kissed Shadowheart's forehead. Shadowheart's eyes fluttered closed, her head bowing slightly as she savored the feel of Tav’s lips on her skin. 

After all her years—what she could remember of them—Shadowheart never imagined she would find happiness like this. Even with everything that was still going on, it was the one thing that kept her going, kept her fighting—the promise of this. The promise of something better. 

That she could have something like this for herself. That, despite everything she had done and what had been done to her, she might still deserve someone's love. 

A part of her—clinging to shame, guilt, and fear—fought against this thought, but it quieted when Tav pulled back and looked at her. The pair of light brown eyes locked with Shadowheart’s were filled with undeniable love for her. 

The voice inside Shadowheart grew even quieter as she leaned in, cradling Tav's cheek with her hand. She kissed her softly, no hunger in the kiss—just silent devotion, gratitude, and the affirmation that they had each other. The kiss was soft, lingering, everything Shadowheart had never known but now longed for. 

"I'm here for you too, Tav. We’re in this together," Shadowheart whispered against Tav's lips, feeling the smile curving Tav’s mouth. 

When they pulled apart, Shadowheart's eyes lingered on the never-healing wound on Tav's chest and the memories of her more recent injuries vivid in her mind as well. She had to look away and close her eyes for a moment. 

"I've been thinking—even before the Shadowfell, but more so since. And I've come to a decision."  

Tav turned to look at her, the seriousness in Shadowheart’s voice grabbing her attention.  

Shadowheart's gaze was distant. The pain and sorrow in her eyes had given way to undeniable resilience and determination, like something profound within her had shifted. 

"I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but..." Her voice was quiet, but the strength of her conviction was clear as she slowly turned to look at Tav.  

"I will kill Shar." 

Chapter Text

Time seems to stretch as Tav stands on the pier, staring out at the River Chionthar. If only its waters could carry away the regrets accumulated earlier that day in the depths of the House of Grief. She finally turns her gaze away from the river and sees the elated face of Shadowheart—the only happy one in the camp. She walks around, head held high, her Dark Justiciar armor polished to shine.

Shadowheart catches Tav staring and raises an eyebrow. Tav hesitates, the urge to speak with her again about the House of Grief clawing at her. A fitting name, as it turned out. But what would be the point, if Shadowheart’s reactions to her earlier attempts were anything to go by?

How had it all unraveled so completely? Tav knows she’ll never forget the sight of Shadowheart’s parents, lifeless on the cloister floor—a memory Shar plucked from Shadowheart the moment the deed was done.

Shadowheart doesn’t look away. Her gaze sweeps over Tav like a predator sizing up its prey—or something she means to conquer. Tav feels her gaze in the pit of her stomach. Even now, with everything unraveling, she can’t help but respond to the sinful promise in the Dark Justiciar’s eyes.

Later that night, Shadowheart asks Tav to join her in a Sharran ritual—to secure the Dark Lady’s blessing before the final battle. Against her better judgment, Tav follows her to a secluded nook in the city, where a small altar to Selûne stands forgotten.

“This is the spot. Looks like someone’s left poor Selûne untended…” Shadowheart murmurs, looking at the statue with dark amusement. She produces a small bottle from her pocket; it is filled to the brim with dark liquid.

“What’s that? More wine?” Tav asks, hoping against hope it isn’t what she fears it is.

Shadowheart turns around to look at Tav. Her eyes are both dulled and feverish as she raises the bottle for Tav to see better. “Something of a much rarer vintage. After I offered up the Nightsong to Lady Shar, her blood was on the spear, on my hands, on my clothing. I wrung out every drop I could. Saved it for a special occasion.”

Tav’s eyes widen in horror, her breath catching like she’s just plunged into icy water. She watches, paralyzed, as Shadowheart uncorks the bottle and turns to the statue. She knows she should do something, say something, but it feels like all the air has escaped her lungs.

“Let’s see what comfort we can offer a grieving mother.” Shadowheart’s voice is low and laced with poison as she pours the blood of Selûne’s daughter over her statue.

“Don’t do this. Stop it.” Tav’s voice is small and weak.

Shadowheart pauses and turns to look at Tav, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Come here, Tav. Join me, and together we will secure the Dark Lady’s blessing,” her voice drips with honey and myrrh, the frown melting into an inviting smile.

Tav stares at her, anguish carved into every line of her face. Shadowheart sighs, frustrated, and seizes her hand, pulling her closer. The sharp, metallic scent of divine blood clings to the carved stone and fills Tav’s nostrils.

“Join me, and together we will have my Lady’s blessing,” Shadowheart murmurs. Her voice is soft and hypnotic as she guides Tav’s hand to spread the blood all over the statue.

It is over as soon as it started. Tav stands frozen and stares at the blood on her hand, the proof of the defilement she just took part in. She has never pledged allegiance to any gods, never seen the point—life is miserable enough without bowing to divine forces. But she has also never actively blasphemed any gods or committed acts of sacrilege. This is her first, and she feels sick.

“Selûne, forgive me,” Tav whispers.

“Forget that moonbitch!” Shadowheart snaps, her eyes flashing in anger. But it’s gone as soon as it came, and the tranquil smile is back on her face. “Let us continue the ritual. It is time for the feast… but I’m afraid I forgot to bring any food.” She raises one of her eyebrows suggestively, her words dripping with promises of carnal relief.

Tav swallows hard. “This is wrong.”

Shadowheart’s lips curve into a dark smile. “That’s what makes it so good.” Her voice is so low it does something to Tav—it ignites that familiar flame in her.

Before Tav even fully registers what she’s doing, she pulls Shadowheart into a kiss. Maybe, if she kissed her deeply enough, she’d wake up from this nightmare. Maybe none of it would have happened. 

No Gauntlet. No Shadowfell. No House of Grief. 

Maybe she’d see those vulnerable eyes again—the woman hidden beneath all the darkness and duty.

She pours all of her love and desperation into the kiss, but Shadowheart suddenly pulls away and keeps her at arm’s length. Darkened eyes bore into Tav’s.

“Stop being so gentle.” It is a command, not a request.

Without warning, Shadowheart pushes Tav away from her hard enough that she loses her balance and ends up on her back on the ground. Before she has time to protest, Shadowheart is crawling over her, settling to straddle her waist. The familiar heat presses against Tav’s torso, fanning the flames of her desire.

Shadowheart grips her shoulders and pins her to the ground. She gasps at the sudden roughness—but the moment Shadowheart claims her lips in a searing kiss, everything else dissolves. Her tongue explores with ravenous intent, teeth tug at the rogue’s lips like they want to leave a mark. It feels like the Dark Justiciar is trying to brand herself into Tav’s flesh.

As abruptly as it began, the Sharran suddenly pulls back and, with a smirk, undresses.

A sharp sting makes Tav flinch—Shadowheart had bitten her, hard enough to draw blood. When she touches her lip, red smears across her fingertips, mingling with the remnants of Shadowheart’s vile sacrifice. Her blood and the Nightsong’s, guilt and godhood, tangled together in one unholy offering.

But that thought vanishes the moment she looks up and sees Shadowheart’s breasts, then her eyes gleaming with unrestrained hunger. Tav stares, wide-eyed, her gaze torn between face and bared flesh.

Shadowheart’s gaze darkens as she leans closer to whisper, her voice low: “First the act of wickedness, then the feast… but I think this will count as both at once.” 

Then she pulls back again and regards Tav with a wide smirk. Tav looks up at Shadowheart. There is darkness there that wasn’t before. Is it because of what happened earlier today, at the House of Grief?

Tav has to squeeze her eyes shut—she can’t bear that particular thought. The burden of her failure sits heavily on her shoulders. The fact her opponent is an ancient, primordial goddess doesn’t change the fact she was outdone by her—or make it hurt any less.

Shar now has Shadowheart’s heart. All of it.

And Tav? She only has scraps. Scraps of what could have been.

“Open your eyes, Tav,” Shadowheart commands.

Tav obeys and looks into Shadowheart’s eyes again. Her darkened gaze promises oblivion—a chance to forget everything, even if for a fleeting moment. Even if just for this one night.

Tav should resist. Should protest. Should try to talk about what happened.

Anything.

But Tav needs to forget. Needs to leave it all behind—even if just for tonight.

She knows she is weak, but oh, how blissful it is once Shadowheart finally leans down and captures her lips in a brutal kiss. Teeth clash, lips are bitten, nails scratch and mark skin. 

The pain is both a fitting punishment and a sweet bliss.

Curses and prayers are drawn from Tav’s lips over and over again until all she can think is Shadowheart. All she can feel is Shadowheart.

Shadowheart.

“Shadowheart!” Tav gasped, jolting upright as the dream shattered and reality slammed back into her.

Shadowheart turned to look at her, her features morphing into worry. She wasn’t by Tav’s side on their bed; instead, she was standing by the window.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Tav tried to calm her breathing. It had just been another nightmare—A nightmare from their past.

“Just a bad dream,” Tav murmured, pulling the blanket closer around herself. 

She tried to peer out of the window before remembering Gale’s tower didn’t have actual windows, just illusions. “Is it morning yet?”

“Not quite. But soon,” Shadowheart replied. Tav watched as she stood up and walked over to the bed.

“Would you lie down with me? Just for a little while, before we have to meet the others,” Tav asked, her voice tinged with hesitancy. This kind of request would have most often been brushed off by Shadowheart in the past, when she was still the Mother Superior and their moments together fleeting and far between.

It was almost strange to see Shadowheart’s lips pull into a soft smile as she nodded and settled back on the bed beside her. A few moments later, Tav was spooned in her arms, Shadowheart’s body heat blanketing her back.

Tav lay on the bed quietly; the moment was quite surreal to her. 

After all these years, the lingering dream felt almost more real than the woman holding her.

***

Tav massaged her temples, the weight of exhaustion still heavy in her limbs and mind. She only half listened as Shadowheart and the others recounted the ordeal to Gale—how they had narrowly escaped death in the Shadowfell and what had taken place afterwards in the former Shadow-Cursed Lands.

He seemed particularly in awe of the resurrected daughter of Selûne, currently casually sipping tea from one of his finest cups. Even more so, he was captivated by the wild tale of how they’d rescued Isobel’s soul from Myrkul himself—and how their old acquaintance, Withers, had turned out to be none other than Jergal, the former God of Death, who then helped bring her back to life. Tav could practically see the fascination sparkling in his eyes, but also a hint of disappointment that he had missed all of this, having stayed behind in Waterdeep.

“Now that you know everything,” Shadowheart began—and Tav could hear the exhaustion in the slight edge to her voice, see it in the tension around her eyes—“please, tell me you’ve learned anything about Tav’s Sharran branding.”

Both Aylin and Isobel cocked their heads simultaneously. It would have been quite the charming sight—if the subject wasn’t so painful for Tav, stirring up worry and many restless nights.

“Sharran mark?” Isobel inquired.

Tav nodded and dutifully unbuttoned her shirt to show the void moon of Shar sitting on her chest.

“We didn’t have time to share this with you two last night,” she said to Isobel and Aylin. They’d quickly realized Isobel still had her powers and could send a magical message to Gale to let him know they were back from the Shadowfell and in need of a teleportation back to Waterdeep.

“Once we got here, I figured we could all use a good night’s sleep before bringing up yet another matter.”

“And as for whether I found something out… Yes. And no,” Gale replied to Shadowheart’s question, scratching his beard.

“Really, wizard, just spill it! We’re all dying to know,” Astarion drawled.

Gale cleared his throat; all eyes were on him. “Well, the first thing I did was consult all of my colleagues who might have the slightest inkling on the matter,” Gale paced back and forth, his hands waving as he recounted his exploits. “Turns out they were as baffled as me—which was to be expected, of course. After all, I am one of the most gifted magic users in the academy—if not the most gifted. Or would have been without my little misadventure with the Karsite Weave and the following little misunderstanding between Mystra and me, which has by now of course been rectified.”

Astarion rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Gale, please try to stay on the subject matter,” Shadowheart sighed.

“Right, sorry! Turns out they couldn’t help much, other than confirming my suspicion that it is of divine origin—deriving from godly powers. And my suspicion is that this is some form of primordial magic, which is the reason I was unable to determine a magical school or anything else about it.”

Tav noticed Shadowheart’s jaw tightening. “So we are none the wiser, then? We know nothing?” Shadowheart asked.

“Well, there were the boo—”

“This wizard nonsense will lead to nowhere. Let Dame Aylin take a look at this vile Sharran branding. My mother’s divine power might shed some light on the matter,” Aylin interrupted. 

Gale was about to protest, but Aylin had already stood up, towering over the wizard at full height. Gale’s eyes widened, and he took a step back as Aylin marched over to Tav. 

Tav felt Shadowheart’s hand on her shoulder. “Maybe she could help you,” she murmured.

There was already a sense of resignation Tav had been feeling for quite some time over the brand. It hadn’t healed, it still bled, and nothing had been discovered about its true nature. Of course, the daughter of Selûne might hold answers other sources did not—but that hope wasn’t very strong.

“Fret not, little hero. I’m sure Dame Aylin will be able to help you,” Aylin said as she stepped closer, her silvery eyes already surveying Tav’s chest.

For a moment, Tav felt a surge of deep guilt and an urge to apologize—the dream and the memory it brought with it were still fresh in her mind, the defiled statue flashing in her thoughts. But this was not the time or the place, so Tav cast her eyes down and held her tongue.

Aylin laid her hand over the mark and closed her eyes in concentration. The strong aura she had exuded when she first came back to life might have dimmed when she exchanged her immortality for Isobel’s life, but there was still a touch of divinity about her. Her mother clearly hadn’t forsaken her, despite Aylin giving up one of her mother’s divine gifts.

A silvery light began to glow from Aylin’s hands, and to Tav’s horror, her marking responded to it. A sharp, searing pain shot through her chest, concentrating where the mark was. She tried to grit her teeth, to hold on, but the agony was overwhelming. A raw cry tore from her throat. Waves of purple glow flashed from the wound, magic so vile even Tav could sense it, despite not being gifted in the use of magic.

“You’re hurting her!” Shadowheart protested.

“I can take it,” Tav said through gritted teeth. “We must know what it means.”

“Aylin knows what she’s doing—she just needs a bit of time,” Isobel said. Her words were meant to be comforting, but Tav could sense Shadowheart was agitated; her grip on Tav’s shoulder tightened.

Tav glanced at Shadowheart, who looked back at her. There was pain in the green depths. She laid her hand over Shadowheart’s. “It’s okay. If there… if there is even a chance of this working, we need to know.” Tav forced a small smile.

There was a moment of silence and a soft sigh. “I know. You’re right. I just despise seeing you suffer in any way.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” Tav murmured, clutching Shadowheart’s hand tighter as the intense pain seared her chest. But she was determined to see it through.

Sweat beaded on Aylin’s temples, rolling down her pale, marble-like skin as her eyes remained squeezed shut in deep concentration. Her breathing was heavy, labored, and with a pained grunt, she finally withdrew her hand.

Shadowheart crossed her arms, eyes narrowed. “Well? Spill it out, then.”

“Shadowheart…” Tav said quietly.

“You were right to be worried,” Aylin said, wiping her forehead. Her gaze lingered on the mark, her eyebrows furrowed.

“This is not a mere mark on the flesh of the little warrior. No. This is a branding on her soul.”

“What?” Shadowheart shouted, while their friends let out various sounds of surprise.

Color drained from Tav’s face as a wave of dizziness swept through her.

“You must tell me everything that happened during this foul ‘ritual.’”

“I—I don’t remember much. There was pain. Worse than anything I’ve ever felt. I lost consciousness and… everything is just so muddy in my head.”

Shadowheart squeezed Tav’s shoulder. “I was there too. I witnessed the whole thing.”

“You, not-so-Sharran, tell us then—what took place?”

Shadowheart told everything in excruciating detail. She described the instrument used to make the brand, how it had gotten unnaturally dark in the already dark dungeon—like all remaining light had been sucked out of the room.

She spoke of how it had felt like she was witnessing something no mortal should ever see, and how she had almost been compelled to stay put, every muscle in her body refusing to move.

When she got to the part about how Tav had responded—her screams, her face contorted in agony—Shadowheart's voice wavered. It was like she was reliving it. Their gazes met. They both looked miserable. It felt like every fleeting moment of peace they fought for was always met with another wave of pain.

“Nightbringer called it ‘taboo magic.’ Said it was designed to brand a heretic—someone who hasn’t pledged allegiance to any god during their life,” Shadowheart concluded.

Aylin’s expression had darkened more and more with every word.

“That vile goddess knows no bounds. Does she think herself above the laws? Beyond the bounds Lord Ao himself has set? Does she desire to be the successor of the Dead Three—or join them entirely?” Aylin spoke, her voice growing louder with every word.

“What do you mean?” Shadowheart demanded. “Tell me in clear terms—do you know what that mark is? What do you mean it branded Tav’s soul?”

“You’ve seen it yourself, brave warrior—how souls must journey far after death to reach the City of Judgment. But they can be intercepted. This brand is like a beacon, revealing the soul’s path to the god who marked it…” Aylin trailed off.

“But Aylin, why? It makes no sense,” Isobel interrupted. “You and I both know Shar doesn’t care about the dead. She abandons her own dead in the Fugue Plane and never collects them.”

“She what?” Shadowheart snapped, her voice sharp.

Tav’s brow furrowed as the weight of it sank in.

“It is true,” Aylin agreed. “But perhaps things have changed. Gathering from the things you’ve told me about this… Absolute Crisis… and how her Chosen was among the heroes of Baldur’s Gate. Nightsinger got intimate knowledge on the plans and deeds of the Dead Three. Perhaps…”

“Perhaps what?” Tav wrapped her arms around herself, her voice as quiet as a whisper.

“I do not know yet. She might have gained some insight on mortal souls, witnessing what the lesser gods were scheming. I must visit my mother and commune with her—she must have a deeper understanding on these matters.”

“Aylin, what you must do right now is rest before leaving for another excursion,” Isobel insisted, appearing at Aylin’s side.

“I know, love… I know,” Aylin murmured, brushing her fingers over Isobel’s hand. “But once I’m fit to travel, we must go. This isn’t something we can take lightly. I need to speak to my mother—try and shed light on Shar's dark secrets.”

“I don’t care about the details. This just solidifies my stance that Shar must die!” Shadowheart declared.

Tav’s jaw clenched. So she was serious about it. When Shadowheart had said the same thing the night before, Tav hadn’t known what to make of it. She had thought it might have been a reaction to what had happened in the Shadowfell—born of desperation, of fear that neither of them would ever truly escape Shar and her cruel intentions, always seeking to drag Shadowheart back into her clutches.

But now? Now Shadowheart was saying it after a good night’s sleep, in front of their friends and allies, looking as serious as she had ever been.

“Killing a goddess? You can’t be serious, Shadowheart!” Astarion scoffed.

Even if you could pull off such a feat—Shar is a primordial goddess,” Gale snapped, his voice tight with barely-contained frustration. “Do you understand what that kind of disruption could do to the world?”

“Shadowheart, have you really thought this through?” Nocturne asked quietly.

Tav’s jaw clenched tighter as the argument continued between Shadowheart and the rest of the companions. It shifted from Nocturne’s wary responses to Astarion’s concerns for their safety, then to Gale’s frantic worries about the very fabric of reality if they somehow managed to kill one of the oldest gods in existence.

Tav watched the two Selûnites closely. Isobel remained silent, her expression tight with concern. Dame Aylin, however, was harder to read—her sculpted face gave little away. Still, Tav had the odd feeling she wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea, even if she didn’t say so aloud. It was peculiar—after all, they were talking about murdering Aylin’s own aunt. But then again, that same aunt had imprisoned her in her domain for over a century, tormenting her with endless cycles of death by Dark Justiciars.

In the end, it could be said that Shadowheart won the argument through sheer stubbornness. Somehow she had managed to tire even Gale out who was known to love to debate things from here to eternity. It had been agreed that a lot of research and preparation should be done before such a notion could even be entertained in any real capacity.

And most of all, old allies needed to be called upon. For killing a god was no solitary business—and they would need a small army just to stand a chance.

So the rest of Shadowheart’s day was spent in the war room, which used to be known as Gale’s dining room, where she sent messages via magical means to their old allies. 

Halsin wasn’t available, he had so many responsibilities now that he couldn’t shed but he wished all the best to her and Tav. Even though Tav understood where he was coming from, she still felt a bit of a sting that the druid wasn’t interested in helping them whatsoever.

Minthara thought Shadowheart had lost the last shred of her sanity. Her response had mostly been laughter, borderlining cackling. Tav was sure she would come around eventually. After all, Minthara had a fondness for sitting on dead men’s thrones—how could she possibly resist the throne of a dead goddess?

Laezel had declared that she had already slain one false god, confirming a certain Vlaakith problem had been taken care of, so what would another one be in her tally other than a chance for further glory and proof of her prowess? Tav couldn’t help but smile despite herself, it seemed Lae’zel’s ambitions hadn’t dimmed in the slightest.

Tav missed having Jaheira around, though she couldn’t blame the druid for returning to Baldur’s Gate as soon as she was able—her family came first. It was closer from the Last Light Inn than Waterdeep, so she had stayed behind. Shadowheart contacted her as well, and Jaheira reaffirmed what she’d said before: she would lend her aid in anything involving Shar and the Sharrans, once she knew her family was safe.

Shadowheart also told Tav that Jaheira had scolded them for even considering taking on a goddess, insisting someone needed to keep an eye on this reckless bunch. Somehow, that warmed Tav’s heart in a way she couldn’t quite explain.

Then came the hardest calls – Karlach and Wyll. Tav could tell Shadowheart felt bad even contacting them at all; they must have been knee-deep in their own worries back in Avernus. It wasn’t even like Karlach could easily leave the place and join them. But they were desperate for allies, so Shadowheart sent the message.

“Fuck me! You’re the last person I thought I would hear in my head! Bwahaha! Wyll! I’m hearing Shaddy in my brain! Can you—”

The reply ended.

“Damn it,” Shadowheart muttered.

“What is it?” Tav asked.

“You know Karlach—very easily excitable, can’t be contained into twenty-five words like this spell only allows,” Shadowheart said with a small smile. “But I shall try again.”

Tav’s heart pounded as she listened to Shadowheart try to explain the spell’s limitations. On the third attempt, she asked Karlach not to repeat everything she said to Wyll, since it wasted the spell’s precious word count.

“I hear you, and would love to help you guys. But we are in a bit of a pickle. Yes, I will tell her, Wyll!”

“That’s all she said?” Tav asked.

Shadowheart rubbed her temples and sighed. “I’m going to send another message.”

After a moment of silence, Shadowheart’s eyes narrowed in worry and she repeated Karlach’s words to the group: “We’re in trouble. We’re currently kinda, sorta, very much captured by a devil who is trying to sell us off to Zariel.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Astarion murmured and downed a goblet of wine in one gulp.

Gale rubbed his beard. “This is very concerning.”

Tav wrung her hands, her worried eyes locked with Shadowheart’s. “We have to help them, Shadowheart.”

“But the mark…” Shadowheart started.

“It can wait. All I need to do is not die, right?” Tav insisted. “We can’t let Zariel take her again. We just can’t. It was Karlach’s biggest fear, the reason she didn’t want to go back to Avernus in the first place!”

Shadowheart deflated before Tav’s eyes. “You are right. We can’t abandon Karlach and Wyll. Not when we have a chance to help them.”

“Agreed. We shall not abandon our fiery friend,” Gale said solemnly.

Astarion slammed the empty goblet on the table, her expression was dark. “Zariel won’t get her favorite toy back. We will make sure of that.”

“What does this mean, Shadowheart? You’re really going to go to the Hells?” Nocturne asked.

“To Avernus. Our friend needs our help. I won’t fault you if you don’t want to follow us there. I’m sure Gale would be happy to let you stay in his tower while we’re gone.” Shadowheart placed her hand on Nocturne’s shoulder.

Nocturne shook her head. “The time for me to remain inactive is gone. If I’m able to help, I want to.”

“It’s settled then,” Shadowheart said, and then turned to look at Aylin and Isobel. “I suppose we part ways here, at least for now.”

“You’re welcome to rest here while we’re gone. Tara can help you get your bearings,” Gale said and nodded towards Tara lounging on a windowsill whose only response was a flick of a tail.

“We thank you. Looking forward to a bit of rest, if I'm honest,” Isobel said. “Once Aylin is back to her full strength, we will get to the bottom of this.”

Aylin stepped forward and took Shadowheart’s hand. “I once thought you truly were a Sharran, when you claimed my life and then your title among Shar’s chosen. But you are no Sharran after all. You risked everything to aid me. You helped bring dear Isobel back to me—to save her very soul from damnation. For that, I will be forever in your debt,” Her voice was low, solemn, and steady.

Shadowheart swallowed hard but held Aylin’s gaze. “I… I wronged you in the past. But I feel a little lighter now—maybe, just maybe I’ve managed to set something right.”

“Brave warrior, Dame Aylin will lend her aid to you and to your beloved. This is my solemn vow,” Aylin declared, looking Shadowheart in the eyes.

Shadowheart nodded, and Tav could see the plethora of emotions swirling behind her eyes.

***

They had been traveling all day long, trekking through the Reaching Woods. They had left Waterdeep as soon as Shadowheart had finished messaging Karlach and Wyll, getting as much information as she could on their location and their place of capture. Then it had only been a matter of procuring provisions for the journey.

Tav glanced at Shadowheart. It was odd seeing her out of her Dark Justiciar armor and instead wearing simple, dark-colored studded leather armor. They had bought the same armor for Nocturne to make it less obvious she had any ties to the Sharrans while traveling. Now everyone in the group looked like a band of regular mercenaries—except for their wizard, who had an impeccable fashion sense and a penchant for more colorful clothing.

What Shadowheart really needed was some kind of plate armor, or at least half-plate, but they hadn’t had time for fittings or to order anything custom-made. Every moment counted, and they had to make their way into Avernus before the devil who had captured Wyll and Karlach could sell them off to Zariel.

To Tav’s partial relief, the armor seller had at least sworn that Shadowheart’s armor was of the highest quality and would protect especially well against bludgeoning damage while still allowing her to move nimbly in combat.

Tav’s worries were disrupted by the chirp and amused cadence of Astarion’s voice: “So, Gale, what did your wizard friends say when you told them you needed a sabbatical for an Avernus trip? Did you follow it up by asking for directions to the nearest rift while you were at it?”

Gale sighed dramatically.  “Obviously I didn’t disclose the details of my little… vacation of saving old friends and apparently killing ancient, powerful gods. And I can assure you, I’m well-read enough to know about many places in the world where some… enthusiastic fellow wizard’s experiments have caused fascinating side effects on certain areas.”

“So that’s a wizard’s way of saying a bunch of other heretical wizards caused a rift in reality as part of their devil-summoning cult, where they wanted to make pacts with devils but ended up creating a permanent, one-way portal to Avernus instead?” Nocturne chimed in. “I learn something new each day outside the confines of the cloister.”

Astarion’s lips curled into a wide grin. “Hah! You tell him, Nocturne. And Gale, perhaps you should have consulted your wizard friends instead of just dropping us so far away from it!” he complained, dragging his feet as he walked. “I still don’t understand why we couldn’t bring our horses, at least!”

“Well, Miss Nocturne at least paid attention during my explanation on the matter,” Gale said, clearing his throat. “And no, Astarion, we can’t take the horses. You’ll understand when you see the place. The Weave was shattered there by those experiments—I have no way of knowing how far the effects reach, and I simply refuse to risk a teleportation too close to it. Or would you prefer getting stuck between places or planes even, hmm, Astarion? Or sent somewhere else? The frozen wasteland in the Spine of the World, perhaps?”

Just as Astarion was opening his mouth to bite back, Shadowheart let out a groan. “Let’s tone it down a little, shall we? Everyone will hear us coming from miles away if you keep that up. We should be moving as quietly and unseen as we can.”

“Besides, we should start considering packing it in for the night. There won’t be light much longer, and based on those dark clouds, we have a storm brewing very soon,” Tav said, looking at the darkened sky.

“You’re both right, of course. There should be a river just up ahead,” Gale said, looking at the map he had managed to procure before they left.

“Okay, let’s cross that then,” Tav replied, nodding. “Once we cross it, we could camp near the river—have a fresh water source close by.”

The sky darkened even more as they entered the ravine. The roar of the river grew louder. They approached the crossing in silence. Tav could already smell the coming storm—then the first drops of rain hit her face. The air thrummed with the promise of what was to come.

The river ran through the gorge below, raging and frothing white around jagged rocks, the current hurtling forward. The rickety bridge spanning the river had seen better days.

“We must hurry!” Gale called out, the fine mist drenching his long hair and beard.

Thunder cracked in the distance, illuminating Shadowheart’s pale face as she watched Gale cross the bridge gingerly but unharmed. Astarion scurried after him, his movements agile.

“Are you okay?” Tav asked Shadowheart, who was staring at Nocturne crossing the bridge. The bridge swayed with every gust as the wind howled through the gorge, rattling through barren trees and old stone.

Shadowheart’s eyes lingered on the fraying rope and rotting planks, stretched precariously over the chasm. “No, but we have to hurry. The storm’s getting worse—and fast.”

And it was. The fine mist had turned into a downpour.

“You go ahead. I’ll hold the rear,” Tav said and gave her an encouraging smile, one that wasn’t returned.

Shadowheart stepped onto the now-drenched planks and gingerly moved forward, gripping the ropes tightly for support as she moved, her knuckles white. The rain quickly soaked through her armor, water dripping from it and joining the rain drops as they fell into the depths below.

Tav quickly followed, the bridge swaying beneath her feet—but it was better not to think. Just keep moving.

Just as they reached the midway point, catastrophe struck. Tav heard the sharp snap of a rope from the side Shadowheart was clinging to, followed by the horrified screams of their companions. Time seemed to freeze as she watched in horror—Shadowheart lost her balance, slipped on the wet wooden planks, and then they gave way beneath her. She plummeted down into the river, her scream echoing over the roar of the storm and river.

“Shadowheart!”

“She can’t swim!” Tav screamed, but it didn’t reach their companions.

Tav didn’t think. She dove headfirst after her, her companions’ screams echoing through the storm and the river’s roar.

The river swallowed them both.

After that, everything was chaos.

The impact with the river stole the breath from Tav’s lungs, leaving her disoriented. She was tumbling through the cold, dark current.

She broke the surface long enough to gasp for air before the current dragged her under again. Kicking hard, she fought her way back up—just in time to hear the water ahead growing louder.

A waterfall.

Something solid brushed past her—Tav reached out and grabbed it with everything she had. Shadowheart’s arm. She looked around for anything she could hold onto to stop their movement, but there was nothing. And the current was fast.

Before she knew it, they were both hurtled over the edge. There was no time to scream—just a rush of air and mist and then a feeling of weightlessness before another brutal impact as she hit the pool below. Then darkness, and a low, muffled roar echoed in her ears.

Tav felt around frantically until her fingers closed around Shadowheart’s arm. She was limp. Tav pulled her close, wrapped her arms tight around her torso, and kicked—hard—driving them upward, toward the light. Her lungs burned. Her vision blurred. But she wouldn’t give in. Not now. Not ever again.

They broke the surface in a gasp of air and spray, both of them sputtering, coughing.

Then Shadowheart began to thrash in her arms—panicked and disoriented.

“Hold still, love—hold still or you're going to drag us both under!” Tav shouted into her ear, her voice straining to rise above the waterfall and storm. “I’ve got you. I won’t let you drown!”

Shadowheart slowly ceased her movements, relaxing into Tav’s hold when she recognized her voice. She was still breathing frantically.

“You jumped after me.” she murmured.

“Of course,” Tav replied, wrapping her arm securely under her armpits and across her chest.

“You can’t… you can’t just do something like that! You could have drowned!” she breathed out, leaning her head against Tav’s shoulder.

“And if I didn’t, you would have drowned. But instead, we’re both fine,” Tav said. But she knew. She knew how dangerous it had been, how they both could have easily died.

Tav looked around, squinting into the dim light. Night was closing in fast.

“There’s a dark shape behind the waterfall,” Shadowheart pointed out.

“It might be a cave,” Tav murmured, and began sidestroking toward it, keeping Shadowheart close against her.

“I’ve got you. Not much longer…” Tav’s muscles ached from the effort of dragging them both through the surging water, every kick harder than the last.

They were in luck—it was a hollow in the cliffside, a small cave, barely enough space to stand upright, but it would offer them respite from the storm. The plunge pool surged around them, but somehow Tav managed to find footing, and with a surprising burst of strength, she half-dragged, half-carried Shadowheart out of the water and into safety.

Water dripped off their clothes and pooled at their feet. The roar of the waterfall muffled the sound of the storm and the rain.

Tav helped Shadowheart to lie on the floor of the cave and then slumped next to her, her muscles shaking. They were both heaving and soaked to the bone.

“Are you alright?” Tav managed to ask.

“I—I’m fine, it’s just… very cold,” Shadowheart said, shivering. 

They just lay there, breathing heavily until Shadowheart suddenly said: “We’re alright, we’re alive. Taking shelter in a cave. You should make a camp, let’s regroup in the morning.”

“Gale messaged you?” Tav asked.

Shadowheart nodded.

“We need to get these clothes dried up and our bedrolls too,” Tav murmured, slowly getting up, her limbs still shaking a bit.

Tav scanned the cave, but there was no kindling in sight. Shadowheart conjured a small flame, and together they used it—slowly, carefully—to dry their clothes and bedrolls just enough to have drier clothes and something to sit on.

“I really thought that was it when I fell in and the river swallowed me—that it would kill me before the Nine Hells ever had the chance,” Shadowheart murmured after they huddled together on the bedrolls.

“There is no way we’re going down that easily,” Tav gave her a wry smile. “Not after what we’ve been through.”

Shadowheart turned to look at Tav, and Tav was taken by surprise by the raw vulnerability she saw shimmering in her eyes.

Tav took Shadowheart’s hand in hers and kissed it. “How are you feeling, love?” 

“Feeling…” she echoed, her voice a breath more than a whisper. Shadowheart remained quiet for a moment, her gaze drifting to the mouth of the cave. “It's almost too much to feel this much after not being allowed to feel anything,” she started to say. “For so long I only felt what she wanted me to. Now I have to do it myself, and…” Shadowheart said quietly.

“And?” Tav prompted.

“It’s a lot, Tav, I feel like I’m drowning.” Shadowheart looked back at her. “It’s so overwhelming, all these emotions. There’s confusion, hate and anger, guilt and shame… and regrets that won’t let go.”

Tav nodded slowly and took her hand. “There really hasn’t been much respite for you. There has just been one thing after the other.”

Shadowheart let out a pained laugh. “There has, yes, but I find my thoughts lingering more in the past.”

Tav took a trembling breath. “What kind of things?”

“The things I did as Mother Superior. The decisions and paths that led me there. What happened to my parents,” Shadowheart said. “But I find myself thinking a lot about us too.”

Tav opened her mouth, but all that came out was a soft, uncertain hum. She couldn’t find the words.

“I should have let you go a long time ago, Tav. I shouldn’t have dragged you into the darkness with me.”

“No. Don’t say that, Shad—”

“Tav, don’t,” Shadowheart interjected. “W-We’ll never get over it. We can’t heal if we don’t name what was broken—what I did wrong.”

Shadowheart took a shuddering breath.

“I was so lost and lonely when I led the church. I was repressing so much… convincing myself the lies were the truth. Clinging to Shar, even when everything felt wrong. She was…” The words started tumbling out before she could stop them. “I felt, deep inside, like I had lost everything that was me. I only had Nocturne—and you. And I was so afraid of losing you that I cling too tightly, I pulled you into the dark with me when I should have let you go. I was selfish. Love shouldn’t be selfish… not that I was able to even admit that I loved you. I—I did you wrong. I did you wrong because I was weak.”

Tav was quiet for a long moment. “I have my own share of the blame too. I couldn’t let you go either. I always ended up coming back. You never dragged me there in chains—I always came back of my own volition. But it did hurt. I—I traded love for sex and deluded myself into thinking it was enough when it wasn’t. So I ended up hurting myself over and over again.”

“I’m sorry, Tav. Gods, I am. But no apology will undo what I did or what happened. I know that.” Shadowheart whispered.

“I’m sorry too, Shadowheart. We can’t change the past. But we can decide what happens from now on. We can redefine everything. We can heal,” Tav murmured, squeezing her hand.

“But how? I feel like I deserve pain. I feel like I deserve to be punished for my past sins,” she said, her voice low and heavy, laced with deep weariness.

“No, Shadowheart. No way! Fuck pain! And fuck punishments!” Tav said firmly. “That’s the way Sharrans operate. We… we must do better. We must be better.”

Shadowheart turned to look at her. Her green eyes shimmered with quiet sorrow, and something sharp and aching bloomed in Tav’s chest at the sight.

“You’re right. And if I’m honest… there’s nothing alluring about pain. I’ve had my fill of it already—and then some.” The words came slowly, hesitantly even.

“Let me… let me love you like you deserve to be loved, please,” Tav whispered. “Let me touch you in a gentle way.”

“Gentle…” Shadowheart murmured. “I have liked our… recent, more tender encounters… but…”

“But what?” Tav encouraged her.

“It’s hard for me to let go of these… old ways. To just allow myself to feel, allow comfort for myself that I don’t feel like I deserve,” she said so quietly Tav was barely able to make out the words over the roaring waterfall.

Tav cupped Shadowheart’s face and brought their faces closer, foreheads pressed together.

“You do deserve it, Shadowheart,” Tav whispered, her eyes brimming with barely contained emotion. “You deserve comfort, you deserve softness—all the good things…”

Shadowheart sighed softly and leaned against Tav, who immediately wrapped her arms around her, offering both comfort and warmth.

They just sat there for a long moment, neither of them feeling the need to speak, basking in the comfortable silence and shared body heat. The waterfall was like a protective barrier, veiling them from the world.

Tav’s fingers drew lazy patterns on Shadowheart’s back. She knew neither of them could say anything that would magically fix all the things that were broken. But there wasn’t any need to fix anything right now.

What they needed, right now, was just to be there—fully present—with each other.

“I think what we need right now…” Tav murmured, her voice barely above the sound of the water, “is less thinking and more feeling.”

Tav kissed her forehead. “Just feel me, alright? Let everything else fade—just focus on how I’m touching you.” She kept pressing kisses on her face, inching toward her neck.

Shadowheart’s eyes fluttered closed, and she gasped when she felt Tav’s lips ghosting the shell of her ear before the tip of her tongue traced the shell all the way up to the pointy tip. A moan fell from Shadowheart’s lips as Tav’s mouth suddenly enveloped the tip and sucked on it gently.

“Mmm, I remembered these were sensitive,” Tav whispered into Shadowheart’s ear, her breathing raising goosebumps on Shadowheart’s skin.

Shadowheart gripped Tav’s shoulders but made no move to push her away—she was just holding on to her. Tav smiled against her ear and kept teasing the sensitive nub for a good while before kissing her way back to Shadowheart’s lips.

They kissed and explored. It was the first time and the thousandth time all at once. Time lost its meaning in the cocoon of the cave, the white noise of the waterfall keeping the outside world at bay.

One by one, all of their armor and clothing was shed and thrown all over the cave floor. Tav pressed Shadowheart gently but firmly to lie on her back on the bedroll. Tav could see from the way Shadowheart’s eyes had darkened that she was already very aroused, but she didn’t rush this—neither of them did.

Tav straddled Shadowheart’s thigh and slowly ground herself on it. Soft curses fell from Shadowheart’s lips, and she mirrored Tav’s movements, seeking pressure.

“I can’t ever get enough of this,” Tav whispered, her hands gliding over Shadowheart’s torso, leaving goosebumps behind. Fingertips lingered on all the spots she knew would make her feel good.

Shadowheart’s back arched into her touch, her chest pushing toward Tav like an offering, and Tav couldn’t resist. Her nipples had already tightened into hard peaks from the cool air and her arousal. Tav’s warm hands covered them, squeezing the soft flesh and pulling at the tight buds, causing Shadowheart to hiss. Quickly, her hands were replaced with a pair of lips that wrapped around the nipples.

A moan, a grunt, and Tav peeked at Shadowheart’s face and saw, to her satisfaction, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. Tav sucked and released the nipple with a soft ‘pop’ before diving in again and biting down lightly.

Tav could tell she was driving Shadowheart wild—the way her slick heat rubbed against her thigh, leaving a trail of arousal behind. Tav couldn’t resist anymore. She reached between them and immediately groaned as she felt how hard and wet Shadowheart was.

“See? That’s what you do to me,” Shadowheart whispered, her hips bucking against Tav’s hand, seeking some kind of relief.

“Fuck,” Tav muttered, and let her finger wander further until she reached Shadowheart’s entrance and slipped in. She pushed deep and then pulled it out, earning a soft groan of disappointment from Shadowheart.

Tav licked the finger, closing her eyes as she savored the taste. “So sweet. Delicious.”

“Well, I suppose you know where to find more of that,” Shadowheart said wryly, raising her eyebrow.

Tav’s lips curled into a smile that was half shy, half mischievous. She settled between Shadowheart’s legs and hooked her arms under her knees, spreading her open.

Shadowheart lifted herself up from the bedroll, propping up on her elbows. They kept eye contact all the while Tav licked, nipped, and sucked at her inner thighs before moving to the junction between her legs.

“May I taste you?” Tav’s breath fanned the swollen, aroused folds between Shadowheart’s legs, making her shiver. All she could do was nod in response, her fingers tangling in Tav’s hair.

Tav savored the moment and the delicious fruit before her. Shadowheart’s hands tugged at her hair impatiently, and Tav chuckled before giving in and making the first sweep of her tongue. She reveled in the way Shadowheart’s wetness spread on her chin, how Shadowheart’s thighs clamped around her, her fingers tugging at Tav’s hair in encouragement.

Just like that, Tav drowned in the sensations—the taste, the touch, the sounds. The way Shadowheart ground against her, how they moved together in search of pleasure and intimacy.

Tav could feel Shadowheart’s clit swell with need, demanding more attention—attention she was happy to give. Her tongue surrounded it fully, making Shadowheart call out Tav’s name. With a gentle suck, she elicited a string of curses and praises from Shadowheart’s lips, every sweep bringing her closer to the bliss.

With a moan against her heated flesh, Tav reached out to squeeze Shadowheart’s breast.

“Hold my hand,” Shadowheart whispered, and Tav intertwined their fingers instead.

Their eyes were locked even as Tav’s tongue worked her over and over.

“Gods, just like that,” Shadowheart whispered, and then cursed again as Tav’s tongue flicked under her clitoris, coaxing a renewed flood of Shadowheart’s essence.

“Fuck,” Shadowheart hissed. “Fuck me, I need more, please.”

Tav slid her fingers back into her slick channel and curled them. Her tongue kept sweeping, now in tandem with her pumping fingers.

“Fuck, right there…” Another whimper, and Tav could feel her inner muscles tightening around her fingers.

Shadowheart’s arms trembled and gave out, sending her slumping back onto the bedroll, her hips still bucking and moving to meet Tav’s thrusts. Then her back arched just as her orgasm crested. The rush of the waterfall dampened the high-pitched scream that followed, hiding their encounter from the world.

Chapter Text

Shadowheart stretched out languidly on the bedroll while Tav lay between her legs, resting her head on Shadowheart’s thigh. A hum escaped from her lips as she basked in the afterglow of the orgasms Tav had coaxed out of her body. There was nothing quite like the feeling of relaxation that followed—that warm glow of satisfaction.

Tav stirred and kissed Shadowheart’s inner thigh, sucking it gently to elicit another moan and a shiver from Shadowheart. A pair of mischievous light brown eyes locked with hers.

“You know my buttons too well. It’s far too easy for you to press them,” Shadowheart complained, but there was no real irritation in her voice. On the contrary, satisfaction settled over her body, a smile pulling at her lips.

“I think there’s always more to be found. Surely I haven’t found all of your buttons yet?” Tav said, and Shadowheart’s smile widened at the hopeful expression on the rogue’s face.

“There’s no harm in a little mystery, don’t you think?” Shadowheart quipped, and laughed at the eye roll it earned from Tav.

“Well, this kind of mystery is my favorite kind,” Tav murmured, her fingertips mapping the skin on Shadowheart’s thigh.

Shadowheart shivered again, but she knew it wasn’t only from the pleasurable sensations of having Tav’s fingers on her. It was getting chilly in the cave and her naked skin was starting to feel uncomfortable.

“And I would indulge you, were it not for the fact that it’s starting to get damp and cold in this cave.” She said with great reluctance, sighing softly.

Tav sighed too, clearly as reluctant to move yet, but she withdrew her fingers nonetheless. “You’re right. Let me see if the rain has stopped so we can get out of here.”

The rain had eased while they had been lost in each other, and it didn’t take long before it stopped entirely, leaving behind a fresh and crisp night air. Shadowheart exhaled in relief. No more cramped spaces and damp walls, they'd have space and air and could build up a campfire safely without the fear of choking themselves with smoke.

They dressed in quiet contentment, packed what little gear they had, and were ready to step out into the night. Some time later, they had found their way out of the cave and chose a place for their campsite for the night.

“I can’t believe you still don’t have a tent. Have you learned nothing from the Absolute Crisis?” Shadowheart tsked as they put up her tent.

“I was hoping my beautiful, gorgeous lover would let me crash in hers for the night,” Tav drawled as she set up the last pole.

Shadowheart sauntered over, hands on her hips, and flashed a wicked smile that made Tav visibly swallow.

“And what exactly are you willing to give me in exchange for a place by my side in my wonderful, comfortable, top-of-the-line tent?” Her voice was silky smooth, but the hunger in it was evident.

Tav blushed in a way that made Shadowheart grin in satisfaction. Tav shifted from foot to foot, clearly scrambling for a witty—or sexy—comeback under Shadowheart’s intense gaze.

“I—” Tav started but stopped in the middle of the sentence, her gaze fixed somewhere behind Shadowheart, her eyes widening.

“Cute, but I’m not falling for it,” Shadowheart quipped, certain her lover was trying to pull a prank on her.

“No, Shadowheart, look! At the edge of the forest,” Tav pointed behind her, and Shadowheart could tell she was being serious.

Shadowheart immediately whipped around, her body tense and heart beating faster. They had swept the area, but apparently a bandit or a monster had gotten the jump on them.

Except it wasn’t monsters or bandits.

There, at the edge of the clearing, close to the copse of trees, small bright dots moved and danced in the air like sparks leaping from a bonfire.

“What are those?” Tav whispered.

A memory, long forgotten, suddenly came to Shadowheart.

Jenevelle was young, probably not more than six years old. She was outside, playing in the area behind their house. The sun had set, and she had stayed there longer than she should have. Something had caught her attention. She was standing still, her breath caught as she stared at the edge of the forest.

There were countless tiny dots of light hovering there, moving like they were something living. She cocked her head, observing them. Were they tiny fairies carrying small lanterns?

Her mother’s voice carried through the evening air, calling to her: “Jen! Time to go to sleep, sweetie.”

The voice grew stronger, and soon her mother was standing beside her.

“What are those, Mom?” she asked, pointing at the edge of the forest.

“They are fireflies, sweetie. See how they light up even the darkest of nights?” her mother’s soft voice explained.

“Pretty…”

“That they are, Jen. Just like you.” Her father appeared next to them and scooped her up. Jenevelle giggled as her father hoisted her onto his shoulder to give her a better view.

That night, Jenevelle got to stay up past her bedtime as the whole family observed the fireflies, her father and mother sharing what they knew about them with her, though little Jenevelle understood only pieces of what they said.

But the emotion remained—the excitement of the moment and the safety she felt when her parents carried her back to their home afterward and tucked her in.

“Fireflies…” Shadowheart whispered.

“Ah, of course,” Tav said, nodding. “I’ve never seen any myself. I spend so much time in cities. Have you?” Tav asked, turning to look at her.

“Are you okay?” she asked worriedly after seeing the look on Shadowheart’s face.

Shadowheart glanced at Tav and nodded.

“I am. It just… made me remember something from my childhood,” Shadowheart whispered, her voice laden with emotion.

“Oh? Was it… good?” Tav asked carefully.

“Very much so. A memory of me and my parents gazing at fireflies when I was little,” Shadowheart said, smiling at the memory.

Suddenly, she felt grateful to these fireflies for giving her back a little piece of herself—and to Tav for having been there and pointing it out, then sharing the moment with her.

“Want to look at them for a while?” Tav asked, her voice soft.

“Yes,” Shadowheart said, and took Tav’s hand in hers.

They stood side by side, gazing at the little sparks going in and out of the darkness. There was something almost hypnotic about watching the dance play out.

The warmth from the memory lingered, and Shadowheart felt for a moment like her parents were with them, standing side by side with her and Tav. The image she had of them was still fuzzy in her mind, but she could picture smiles on their faces.

She had to swallow the lump in her throat. She would free their family of the curse and avenge her parents. The incurable wound tingled but remained dormant. She wasn’t sure if she had imagined it.

With a deep breath, she pushed the thoughts out of her mind. Nothing could be done about them right now. But there was still something she could act on.

Shadowheart’s gaze strayed away from the fireflies and toward Tav. The slight movement she made caught Tav’s attention, and she turned to look at her.

Their eyes met and locked.

“Tav… I need to ask you something,” Shadowheart said, her voice betraying the uncertainty she was feeling.

“What is it, Shadowheart?”

“Earlier, when we talked… why were you so quick to forgive me?”

Tav took a sharp breath and then broke their eye contact, looking at the fireflies again.

Shadowheart’s eyebrows furrowed. Tav was rarely secretive. She’d always been more of an open book than Shadowheart, who was still learning to be one.

Not true. She never told me about her family. What else is she hiding?

Questions came unbidden to her mind.

Her instinct was to analyze Tav’s behavior, her Sharran training kicking in. Tav’s jaw was tight, muscles tense, eyes stormy with emotion. But beneath it all, one feeling stood out—one Shadowheart knew too well.

Shame.

But why shame?

Then she scolded herself. Why was she here, analyzing Tav like some Sharran spy, when she could—and should—just ask her?

“Tav?” she prompted softly.

Tav closed her eyes, squeezing them shut for a moment before exhaling and opening them again. She stood up and took a few steps away from Shadowheart, her arms crossed.

“I… I talked to Nocturne. Last night, before Gale came to pick us up.”

Shadowheart’s eyebrows furrowed deeper, her confusion growing, but she tried to give Tav space to talk.

“She told me how it was… when you were still a novice. How they would force you to surrender your memories to the mirror again and again each time Viconia was displeased with you. Nocturne told me it was such a common occurrence she had developed a routine for it. She knew you would be scared, so she took you to your safe place in the night orchid cave, and helped you remember as much as she could…” Tav’s voice was breaking.

“Tav…”

“No, let me continue. Nocturne told me of those nights, when you had just been kidnapped and brought to the cloister. How you cried when the lights turned off… and my heart breaks for the little girl who wasn’t comforted, who had her parents taken away from her and was thrust into the darkness. And then all the tormentors and torments you had to suffer through the years, how disliked you were by your peers…

“I’ve known many things about your time as a Sharran, but I think only now I’m starting to have the full picture of all the horrors you’ve endured…

“So while the things you did as a Sharran—as Mother Superior—are obviously horrible… they had spent over forty years chipping away your sense of self, your ability to choose… you were brainwashed, tortured, molded…”

Shadowheart grimaced at the reminder.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to dig up unpleasant memories,” Tav said softer. “My point is not to torment you more with them. My point is…” Tav sighed and went quiet for a moment. Her expression darkened, and the shame was back in her eyes.

“My point is, if I can’t forgive someone like you… then what hope is there for someone like me?” The words trembled as they left her. 

Tav turned to look at Shadowheart, tears burning in the corners of her eyes.

“Tav…” Her lover’s name was like a soft whisper on her lips. Shadowheart took Tav’s hand into hers again. “I don’t quite follow. What do you mean, someone like you?”

“My criminal past…” Tav replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“But it’s all in the past, isn’t it? You haven’t done jobs since the Absolute Crisis.”

Tav looked surprised.

“I… might have used the Sharran spy network to keep updated on what you were up to,” Shadowheart admitted and cleared her throat in embarrassment.

“Oh, I see,” Tav said quietly. “I guess I should have seen that one coming, being who you were at the time.”

“I’m sorry… I… I did a lot of questionable and awful things…”

“I know, Shadowheart. And it’s like I said—if I can’t forgive you for these things, then what hope is there for me,” Tav said, turning to look at Shadowheart, her arms tightly crossed across her chest like she could protect herself from her own words.

“There’s more to my time in the city's underworld than I’ve ever shared.”

Shadowheart tilted her head.

“I’ve told you before how I ran away from home to escape the arranged marriage. But I’ve never told you the things I did to survive…”

Images flickered through Shadowheart’s mind, memories that weren’t hers.

“For some reason, I… I think I know this, even though we’ve never talked about any of it.”

“Oh… it must be the shadow version of you…” Tav swallowed hard. “She, uh… she used your magic to read my mind. My mind felt like a book she forced open and skimmed through.”

“She did what ?” Shadowheart hissed.

Tav nodded, her jaw clenched. “So you already know everything, then…”

“Not quite. I have these flashes, glimpses of memories that aren’t mine.”

Pain that isn’t mine…

“And even if that was true, I would still want to hear it from you,” Shadowheart continued, her voice softer, inviting.

Tav shifted from one foot to the other, tension radiating from her stiff posture before she finally spoke.

“I had this mentor who betrayed me. His gang had been the first home I had since I left my childhood home. The people in the gang—I considered most of them my friends. What a joke.” She scoffed, bitterness flashing in her eyes as old memories surfaced. “They left me to rot in a gutter. And I did awful things to survive, Shadowheart. Unspeakable things.”

“You did what you had to…”

“I didn’t have to take every damn job I came across. I robbed people—it didn't matter if they were rich or poor. I destroyed their lives nonetheless. I even took enforcer jobs, beating up people who owed money to awful criminals… and I even did an assassination…” Her voice broke at that last part.

Shadowheart’s face was creased with worry. “Tav, you did what you had to survive.”

“But I didn’t have to, did I? I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I spit it out and ran away to play rogue,” Tav said bitterly. “I forsook the name and the title of ‘Lady Taviel Clare Thornwood’ and the privileges that came with it… And instead of swallowing my pride and going back to my well-off parents, I chose to keep robbing people—even the ones who only had a few coins in their pocket to begin with…”

“Tav… are you really blaming yourself for not going back? A forced marriage was waiting for you. That includes procreating and producing an heir with the man they chose for you, doesn’t it?”

Tav hesitated for a moment, the words clearly throwing her off balance. The thought seemed to bother her a lot.

“Correct. My family hails from Neverwinter. The effects of the Cataclysm were still felt when I was young. My father saw me and my siblings as useful pawns in the game of social climbing. He wanted to gain favor with the Lord Protector, grow our family’s wealth, rebuild old alliances—and thus I was sold off to the highest bidder. They expected me to marry and bear an heir for the other family…like some broodmare in a political bargain.”

There was bitterness in Tav’s voice, but then her face hardened, the self-hatred returning to her features, and she shook her head.

“But try telling that to my victims. I doubt they’d be understanding, knowing I left them destitute—especially when they find out I blew most of it on gambling and booze, not just food or a place to sleep.”

Shadowheart bit her lip, her heart aching as she saw Tav struggling with the same kind of self-loathing and shame she often did.

“You’re tearing yourself apart, Tav. We all make mistakes—I know that better than most.”

“Like I said before, you were kidnapped and forced into that role. I chose mine,” Tav insisted.

“You didn’t choose to be sold off like cattle!” Shadowheart insisted, and Tav’s shoulders slumped.

Shadowheart could only imagine what it felt like to fight for your freedom and autonomy, but also make grave mistakes and awful deeds along the way—ones that now haunted her.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about this? Or any of us?”

Tav took a deep breath. “I wasn’t in a good place when the Nautiloid swooped in and scooped me up and away from my life. I never could have imagined that, out of all the people in our group, I would end up in the leader role. At that point, I was so cynical and hardened by life and my past… I had never been the type to lead anyone,” Tav said, shaking her head at the memory.

“I knew some members in our group would lose respect for me if they knew about my past transgressions, so I kept it a secret. I felt like an imposter the whole time,” she continued, staring somewhere distant.

Tav turned back to Shadowheart and gave a sad smile. “Or maybe I was just so ashamed of who I had become that I didn’t want anyone to know. Not even you—the Sharran who used to serve a dark goddess and seemingly enjoyed every wicked act… I was trying to hide my past deeds and mistakes from everyone so desperately while feeling crap.”

“You were a great leader. You were exactly what our ragtag group needed. You would have been a great leader regardless of your past.”

“You can’t be serious. Shadowheart, I mess up everything I touch! Remember how we met? How you were stuck in the pod in the Nautiloid, how I found the key and all, but then failed using the Illithid powers to open the pod?” Tav shook her head, a sneer twisting her lips.

Shadowheart stood up and walked over to Tav and took her hands in hers. Tav resisted for a moment before she uncrossed her arms and let Shadowheart entwine their fingers.

“You are forgetting something, Tav.”

Tav looked from their joined fingers to Shadowheart’s face. “I am?”

“You might have failed to use that power, but you still got me out of the pod. You did the unthinkable and managed to convince Lae’zel, of all people, to open my pod and let me out. She was so vehemently against it, but you convinced her anyway. I thought to myself, who was this woman who came out of nowhere and championed me in a way none of my so-called allies had ever done? I was in awe of you.”

Shadowheart shook her head in wonder as she recalled the memories.

“That has always been your strength—the way you connect with people and rally them to your cause. To our cause.”

Tav was silent, but the scowl on her face eased to a more neutral expression as she contemplated Shadowheart’s words.

“And that’s not all. Tav, it’s not important to succeed in everything you do, but it’s important what you do when you happen to fail. And you… you never give up, do you? You’re so persistent… you never gave up on me either—not when you really should have,” Shadowheart’s voice grew quieter at that last part, and Tav squeezed her hands.

“And selfishly, I’m glad you never gave up on me. Without you—your persistence, your love for me—I would still be her puppet, whose strings were not made of string but of chains.”

Shadowheart’s words settled like a heavy blanket over them.

“You don’t think I’m a failure?” The question was so quiet, Shadowheart could barely hear it in the quiet night.

“Never, Tav. Never. You are not a failure. You are a sweet, sweet woman who has made mistakes and bad choices in her life—who has had bad people take advantage and betray her… but underneath it all, you’re someone who still tries to do right, who has a heart of gold,” Shadowheart whispered.

A quiet sob tore from Tav’s throat, and then she finally broke down in tears. She lunged into Shadowheart’s arms, who embraced her tightly, wanting to reassure her she was there for her and would never again abandon her.

Tav cried for a while, her head buried against Shadowheart’s shoulder, a string of muffled words coming from her.

“What’s that?”

Tav pulled back, her eyes wet, red, and a bit puffy from the crying. “I said that you persevered too. Against immense odds and unspeakable horrors. And I’m so proud of you.”

Shadowheart smiled and wiped a few of Tav’s tears gently. “And I’m so proud of you, my little firefly.”

“Your little firefly?” Tav asked with a small sniffle and a chuckle.

“Mmm. Just like those fireflies light up the night, you’ve lit up the darkness I’ve been lost in for so long… showing me the way back home.”

Tav’s lip quivered, and then she broke down crying again. Shadowheart pressed her head gently back against her shoulder and caressed her hair.

“As for your past... Tav, we’ve all done things we regret. And you’ve turned your life around since. You’ve done so much good. I’m not the only one who walks the path of redemption, am I?”

Tav took a deep breath and pulled back to look Shadowheart in the eyes again. “You really mean that? That I could be redeemed too?”

“Of course. If I can, then you can too. I don't think you’ve noticed, but you’ve been walking that path much longer already—since the Elder Brain. Now you just need to learn how to forgive yourself.”

“That is easier said than done.”

Shadowheart’s expression was somber. “That it is.”

They both grew quiet. Despite the difficult subject, it was an easy kind of quiet—shared with someone who knew, on a deeper level, the hardships the path they were on contained. Shadowheart had never realized how much Tav actually understood, how intimately she knew the kind of pain and shame she was struggling with after abandoning Shar.

There was something surprisingly comforting in that knowledge—sharing that with her. Of course, she would have given everything to be able to unburden Tav from the pain if she could. But it wasn’t possible for either of them. So all they could do was carry on and make something of their future. And they had each other to count on.

“I feel so lucky to have you,” Shadowheart murmured, breaking the silence.

A sweet blush immediately rose on Tav’s cheeks.

“I mean it. Your love… comes without strings attached. It comes without expectations of something in return. It’s unconditional. I’ve never experienced that kind of love—not after my parents…”

Tav immediately wrapped her arm around Shadowheart and held her close.

“It’s almost overwhelming. How can it be so simple? How can love be so simple?”

Tav caressed her back and contemplated in silence. “Love should be unconditional. It should be simple—just two people who love each other. No games, no pretense, no possession. It doesn’t mean love is easy. One of the bravest things you can do is love, and accept love in return. It’s terrifying, opening yourself like that. Opening yourself to the possibility that it might not work, or that you might lose it someday. But it’s always worth fighting for.”

“I’ve started to realize that it really is… you’ve taught me that,” Shadowheart whispered and leaned into Tav’s embrace.

“It was drilled into me that letting people close was a weakness—that it was dangerous, that you’d get hurt, taken advantage of, stabbed in the back.

“But it was all lies. Lies designed to keep us divided, scared, paranoid, and under control. Only keeping a place in our hearts for the vile goddess who would chew us up and then spit us out without a second thought. We meant nothing to her.” Shadowheart’s voice trembled, her muscles tensed at the thought.

“Did you hear what Isobel said? That Shar didn’t… she didn’t even collect her dead from the Fugue Plane! After everything she has done to me and other Sharrans, that bitch of a goddess just abandons us and damns us for eternity…” Her voice broke down, and Tav held her tighter.

“I wonder… I wonder if Viconia is still there. Still stuck on the Fugue Plane, her soul damned by the very goddess she sacrificed everything for.”

Tav squeezed her hands, her eyes furrowing. “You… you feel sympathy toward her?”

“I can’t forgive what she did to me and my parents. But I know she was a victim too. She gave everything to Shar—even her memories. And to be abandoned in the Fugue Plane, her soul condemned with no chance of redemption, nothing... it’s unthinkable.”

Tav nodded slowly. “When we kill Shar… maybe there’s a way to help her. And others like her?”

“Maybe. Our plan is still in shambles. Gale is right to point out that killing one of the primordial goddesses will tear reality apart. I—I don’t know what to do about that. I don’t have answers. Just… certainty. She has to go.”

“We’ll figure it out. For now, let’s just focus on saving Karlach and Wyll. One problem at a time,” Tav said with quiet conviction.

“One problem at a time,” Shadowheart echoed. “Though it is very easy to succumb to the worrying.”

“Do you worry about something else besides the obvious?” Tav asked.

Shadowheart nodded slowly and turned to look at Tav. “I don’t think I’m even that concerned about what happens if we fail—we’ll be beyond our worries at that point. I think what bothers me is what happens if we succeed… It’s like I told you before, I’ve never been able to write my own future. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“Start at the beginning,” Tav suggested. “Imagine it’s the day after we defeat Shar. What then?”

“I want to go somewhere peaceful—away from the city, perhaps.”

“Go on…” Tav encouraged her.

Shadowheart felt a warm sensation in her chest as she contemplated the possibilities—a freedom to do what she wanted. She had always liked animals, but had never been allowed to have any in the cloister.

“I’d like room for animals. Lots of them—all shapes and sizes, so long as they appreciate a warm fire and more affection than they know what to do with.” She said.

“Neither of us knows how to take care of animals,” Tav mused. “But I’m willing to learn if it’s something that’s important to you. What else do you have in mind?”

“Remember the flower field we saw back in Reithwin?” Shadowheart asked.

“How could I forget? It got you so poetic…” Tav murmured.

Shadowheart smiled. “It did. But it also made me think. I want to grow flowers. I want to be surrounded by colours, every day. I’m tired of darkness.”

She took a deep, shuddering breath, all of her emotions coiling inside her. “And I want to share it all with you, if you’re willing.”

“It’s a lovely plan, Shadowheart. I know nothing about living in a cottage in the countryside, but for you, I’d try anything,” Tav said. “The image of us working side by side with animals and flowers in a place like that… It sounds peaceful. I’ve never had a place that felt like home before—but what you described? That feels like one.” 

There was a wistful expression on her face like she was imagining it all happening. “I don’t think I’d like anything more.”

“Then it’s settled. A home for us—animals and all the beautiful plants and flowers,” Shadowheart declared, then chuckled. “I couldn’t have imagined just some time ago that the Mother Superior would ever become a farmer.”

“Stranger things have happened, I’m sure,” Tav said, smiling.

Shadowheart shook her head in awe. “Perhaps.”

The night was quiet and beautiful. The clouds had dissipated while they chatted; the rain was now only a memory, leaving behind the fresh smell and wet grass.

“The moon is so pretty,” Tav murmured.

“This would be a good night for a swimming lesson,” Shadowheart said.

“A swimming lesson?”

Shadowheart nodded. “I need to learn to swim, and I want you to teach me. I don’t ever want you to put your life in danger like that.”

“If not for swimming, I’m sure I’ll find some other way to save you in the most reckless way. We’re about to face a goddess, after all,” Tav joked, looking pleased with herself.

Shadowheart sighed and shook her head, but she couldn’t help smiling a little. “You and your reckless heroics…”

“I think you find my heroic side hot,” Tav said, lifting her chin proudly.

Shadowheart rolled her eyes, but she felt the familiar stirring of want in the pit of her stomach.

“Whatever you say, hero of Baldur’s Gate. But you better be careful, or else—” Shadowheart let the playful warning hang in the air, but it seemed only to stir desire in Tav.

She smirked, eyes trailing over Tav’s form with undisguised interest.

“Now take off your clothes!” she commanded, nudging Tav.

“What?” Tav squeaked.

“You don’t want to get them wet, do you? Or worse, have them weigh you down. I don't want a repeat of what happened earlier today. So go on,” Shadowheart said, amused.

Tav blinked a few times, then did what Shadowheart asked and stripped bare in front of her. Shadowheart cocked her head, her eyes roaming all over Tav’s body unashamedly.

“I believe it’s your turn now,” Tav said, her voice trembling ever so slightly.

“That it is,” Shadowheart purred and shed her clothing one piece at a time, teasingly.

It didn’t seem to matter that it hadn’t been long since Tav had last seen Shadowheart naked—she was blushing all the same.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, her lips curled into a knowing smile.

“Nothing at all. You’re just beautiful, and it always distracts me,” Tav murmured.

“Oh, I know, but it’s nice to hear you say it. Over and over again,” Shadowheart whispered into Tav’s ear as she took her hand and guided her toward the pool of water they had plunged into earlier.

The waterfall roared beneath the moonlight, a wild contrast to its beauty. Shadowheart had led Tav forward with purpose, but she halted abruptly at the edge, her gaze fixed on the dark, rippling surface. It looked rather uninviting, like an abyss ready to swallow them. Who knew what lurked under its surface?

“I don’t know if I can do this… now that we’re here,” Shadowheart admitted, squeezing Tav’s hand.

“You can do it. Just walk forward until you feel the weight lift. I will be here by your side every step of the way,” Tav reassured her.

Shadowheart turned to her, fear tightening in her chest. But this mattered. She craved the freedom to learn, to try, to shape her life without Shar’s shadow looming over her. To do things on her own, without Shar’s oppressive hand guiding her.

“All right. Just stay close,” she said, her voice trembling slightly.

Together they walked toward the water, side by side.

Once they were fully in the water, Tav taught Shadowheart the basics, and they practiced staying afloat while treading water.

“Oh, Hells, that’s cold,” Shadowheart muttered.

Tav smirked at her, somehow both at ease with the whole swimming thing and the awfully cold water. Shadowheart decided it was time to wipe that smirk off her face with swift vengeance. She splashed a generous amount of water on Tav’s face.

“Hey!” Tav complained, and it was Shadowheart’s time to smirk.

“I swear, if you knew how to swim, I would be getting my sweet revenge right about now,” Tav pouted.

“Oh, don’t hold off on my account,” Shadowheart drawled.

Tav narrowed her eyes, a dangerous glint in them. “I will hold off, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get my sweet revenge later on.”

Something told Shadowheart that revenge might be more of the pleasurable kind, and she felt another stirring of desire.

“Now enough of stalling,” Tav declared. “Time for the actual swim lesson!”

Shadowheart’s face became even paler in the moonlight. The cool night air had raised goosebumps on their skin, clearly visible as Tav stretched out her hand in invitation.

“I promise it will be fine,” Tav coaxed Shadowheart, her voice softer now. “Just trust me.”

And Shadowheart did trust her. She trusted Tav with her life, her heart...

She took Tav’s hand, and Tav patiently guided her through the basics: how to hold her breath, how to float on her back, how to stop fighting the water.

Shadowheart was tense at first, her movements stiff and awkward, but Tav never let go of her. She encouraged her in soft tones, adjusted her form, but never pushed her too fast or too hard. By the end of their lesson, Shadowheart had managed to paddle a short distance on her own. Her laugh was breathless and filled with joy, her hair clinging to her face.

Tav swam up to her and lifted her up, laughing in delight. Shadowheart wrapped her legs  around Tav’s waist, the water making it easy for Tav to hold her up.

The joy and the simmering want spilled over, and Shadowheart leaned down, kissing Tav with passion and hunger.

Tav immediately reciprocated, her arms around Shadowheart’s back holding her tighter, one of her hands sneaking down, squeezing Shadowheart’s butt.

Shadowheart pulled away from the kiss suddenly, eyebrows raised, amused.

“What?” Tav asked, and her attempt at an innocent smile amused Shadowheart even more.

“I think it’s my turn to have some fun with you, my little firefly,” Shadowheart purred.

“Oh…”  was all Tav managed to utter before Shadowheart shifted their positions and scooped her up, carrying her out of the water toward their tent.

Tav giggled, actually giggled, as Shadowheart lowered her onto the bedroll. It was a sound Shadowheart had never heard coming from Tav. She had never heard Tav sounding and acting so carefree, so happy. 

It made her own heart skip a beat, a pleasant, warm sensation glowing inside her. She realized she was happy as well—happier than she had ever been.

Shadowheart straddled Tav’s hips and cupped her face. The love she felt for Tav must have radiated from her face, judging by the way Tav’s breath hitched and the giggling turned into a soft look that made Shadowheart’s chest clench with emotion.

It was still such a high to be able to experience emotions without restraint, without having to pretend they didn’t exist, without having to try to extinguish them. Shadowheart reveled in that freedom as she reveled in Tav, worshipping every inch of her lover, wanting to let her know how much she meant to her, how much she wanted her…

Their night was full of passion and whispered words of affection. Shadowheart had never known love could be like that—unconditional, easy, all-encompassing, lifting her up instead of squashing her down.

It felt like she had lifted her wings and now soared up in the skies, in that moment completely carefree for the first time in her life.