Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The dark cloud that covered the city of Ninjago was now banished, they had finally defeated the Onis. 

Jay and Nya rush to hug each other, they could live to see another day together. 

Cole helped Kai take over that wooden column on top of him, thankfully he was fine. 

But it wasn’t until they all heard Zane’s voice asking for their youngest member that the worry began. Where was Lloyd?

They searched the place looking everywhere until they finally spotted Lloyd, he was under a pile of debris, he was immobile. They ran to help him, they managed to get him out of there, but he was still unresponsive. 

“Where is Wu?!” Cole practically yelled, looking for him 

Sensei Wu took no time to get there, he took Lloyd’s wrist hoping to find a pulse, the rest of them were just waiting for an answer, for something that would tell them Lloyd was okay.

“You can do something, right?... Right?” Jay asked, desperate to hear a ‘Yes, I can’, but that didn’t happen. 

“There is nothing to be done” 

Those words were the confirmation they hoped not to get, but that was the truth, Lloyd was dead. The shock came quickly, how could this happen? why would this happen? It was almost like a nightmare for everyone, their baby brother was gone, just like that, gone . 

A golden petal fell to the side of his body, they looked at it, waiting for something, literally anything to happen, but it didn’t. Maybe it was just a sign, like a flower that lost that petal and became incomplete, they just lost Lloyd, and now they are incomplete.

Chapter Text

The monastery has been tranquil since the funeral, you could only hear the footsteps of the people that live there, no TV, no video games, no jokes, no nothing.

Having to keep on the daily routine was something they could not escape, there were still some things they needed to do even if they hated the idea, and eating was one of them, not in the autodestructive way, more in the “I don't know how to do it” way.

For example, on the first meal without Lloyd, it was Zane’s turn to cook, he tried to keep it as normal and simple as he could, it was just spaghetti and meatballs, however, when he was setting the table, just like muscular memory, he places six plates instead of five, he only notices it just when he finishes serving the food, but he couldn’t bring himself to remove the plate, so he just call the team to come to the table. 

Everyone notices the extra plate, but again, no one says a thing, what could they say anyway?

As they eat, none of them even bring up the fact that the space that once was Lloyd's is now empty, no one brought anything, there was no chat, something that truly felt weird cause usually this was the place where they felt freer to talk about things, where they roast each other. 

Right now, Lloyd would probably be the first to mention that Kai had a stain on his shirt.

“So… The mayor wants to do something to commemorate Lloyd, I think it was a statue or something like that, he asked for our permission on it.” Nya told them as she played with her fork. “He said that he did so much for the city, so the least he could do is make sure he was never forgotten”

Forgotten, right, he was gone now, he could be forgotten, like Master Yang, or Morro, or maybe not, it was uncertain what happened to someone after they… after they were gone. 

“I’m not sure if he is gonna like to have something about him in the city, he never did this for fame or praise, he just wants to help people” 

“Yeah, you right on that Jay, but the commemorative is not for him, it’s not even for us, is so the city can take photos of it and don’t feel like they are doing nothing” Kai spoke, as expected, he was the most angry at the situation in general. “They want to feel better about themself, they want to feel not useless after Lloyd sacrificed his life for them. This is not about him, it is about them.”  

They all looked at him, of course, he was right, it was the same as when people tried to get inside the funeral, people who didn’t know Lloyd, who could never understand what losing him meant, at least not the same way they did. 

“I mean, that’s the way of the world, we do things to make ourselves feel better, and if they want to honor him, who are we to say no to that? Lloyd deserves to be remembered as what he is, a hero” Zane opined, he felt the same way when he discovered his Titanium Ninja status, but if that helped the people, it was fine with him.

“And besides, I would really like to have a place to remember him that is not here, you know, not the place where he… Not here” Cole also begins to talk “The majority of memories here are good, and at least I like to keep it that way, as the place where we did our training, where we laugh, where we used to have movie night but never been able to watch a horror one because Lloyd was too afraid of it. I believe we need to have a place to remember him and another to honor him” 

“He’s right, I don’t want our home to be just a reminder of losing him” 

“We get that it's hard for you Kai, but it’s also hard for us, he was our friend, and yes, the status or whatever they build isn’t gonna be enough to represent him, but it would be nice to know they care about him” 

They all turn their glances to the fire elemental, looking for some signal of approval or any change in his expression, but that doesn’t happen, instead, he slams the fork against the table. How could they even consider memorializing him with some lifeless statue? As if that could ever capture the essence of who Lloyd truly was, “Fine, if you want to allow this, do it, but don’t expect me to be fine with this bullshit” He said as he began to eat, pretty much closing the entire conversation in that moment. 

The rest of the team did the same. They hoped Kai would come around the idea, sooner rather than later.

They finish their food and each one leaves to their respective rooms, leaving everything at the table, even the empty plates. 

One plate wasn't empty tho.

Chapter Text

Groceries were the least favorite part of everyone’s task, but at the same time, it was the most important if you think about it, they were always going to need food, shampoo, cleaning products, and a lot of other essential stuff. 

That doesn’t mean they don’t hate going to the Walmart.

But today this was the task of Jay and Cole, so the rest of them only needed to throw away the expired things and clean the fridge to make room for the new food and the kitchen cabinets for the rest. 

Nya was the one checking the things in the cabinets, it was mostly just cans, spices, and condiments, she checked the expiration date of everything, only one tomato can was already gone bad and a tuna can, she thought that was all, but she was wrong, almost like it was hidden, there was a bag of candies, it was practically intact, maybe only 3 or 4 pieces were eaten, it was strange for her, she recognized the bag, it was Lloyd’s favorite candy brand, almost every two weeks by this time the bag was empty in the trash can, so it was pretty odd this one was nearly full, perhaps with everything that was happening they just forgot about it.

She tossed it in the trash, trying not to think about it much, not even telling the other two about it, it was just a bag of candies, nothing more. But if that were true, why does throwing it in the garbage hurt so much?

They kept cleaning until the trash bag was almost full, mainly it was things from the fridge like milk, cheese, ham, and stuff like that. 

Not long after that, Cole and Jay came back with the groceries, it was a lot of bags, but considering they hadn't done shopping since before the funeral, which was almost a month ago, so you could say they were almost out of everything at this point. 

“God, it was so weird, everyone kept looking at us, but no one asked for a picture or an autograph,” Jay told them 

“Yeah, like they were scared of our reaction or something like that, I mean, it’s not like we bite… Well, Jay does sometimes, but not to fans” Cole said as he left the shopping bags on the table so they could begin to put everything in its place. 

“I say that one time, one time and you never let it go”

They laugh remembering that specific day when Jay told Cole that he was gonna bite him, but at the same time that made those two and Nya a bit nostalgic because Lloyd was there that day, he would laugh at this too. 

They began to organize everything they bought, Cole took the hygiene products to put them in the bathroom, Jay and Kai organized the things from the fridge while having a little fight about whether the milk should or not be on the top shelf (obviously it should), and finally, Nya and Zane were doing the cabinets. 

The first one to finish was Zane, who then joined the rest in the kitchen to help them, they were almost done when Cole took an item from one of the bags, he looked at it curiously, he didn't even realize how much he kept staring at it until Jay touch his shoulder. 

“Hey, Zane, everything alright?” 

“What?” Zane looked at him, then at the rest, he looked at the shopping bags, they were now empty, he definitely had it a long time “Oh, yes, everything fine, it’s just… these were Lloyd’s favorite candies, he was the only one who eats them, Im just surprise you bought them again” 

Jay didn’t even notice them when they were paying in the store, not even if he or Cole picked them up in the aisle “I guess maybe as routing, I don’t know, really”

The room fell silent again, the candy bag still in Zane’s hands, but now everyone was looking at it.

“I found the last one” Nya said “It was on the back of the cabinet as if Lloyd was hiding it, maybe he knew we wouldn’t approve of him eating so much sugar” She chuckled a bit “He only got to ate 3, maybe 4 pieces, he never got to finish his last bag of candies” 

“Neither his grape juice, all of them were still in the fridge” Kai added. 

“Well, we already bought it, so let’s just put it where it’s supposed to be. We just need not forget to stop buying them next time.” Cole took the bag from Zane’s hands and placed it on the cabinet, closing it so he could stop looking at it.

It seems like a simple solution, but of course, nothing it’s a straight path, that also applies to grief. 

Next grocery trip was in charge of Kai and Zane, just like Jay’s and Cole's trip, it was normal, looking for the thing on the list until they passed the aisle that had the goddamn candy bag, and they put it in the shopping car, it was irrational, but at that moment they could only remember the one and only time they didn’t buy them, they remember the look on Lloyd’s face, that face that force them to go back to the store to get the bag. They knew that now that was not gonna happen, but they still needed to get it. 

Not to Lloyd, but for them.

Chapter Text

It had been two months after the funeral, and it was Kai's turn to do dinner, he wasn’t the best at cooking, but he sure was better than Cole, so it did the job. 

He went for something very simple: tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. He got everything from the fridge, tomatoes, garlic, butter, cream, etc. he also got the bread and the cheese for the sandwiches.

As he cooks everything, he remembers the last time he prepared this specific food, Lloyd saw it on a TV show and wanted to try it, so he asks Kai to help him with it, to which of course he accepted without hesitation, they almost burn down the entire house because neither of them knew how to use the oven, but it was worth it, they both enjoyed his meal, even if it was a little over cook… at least until Zane reprimand them for making a mess in the kitchen and make them clean everything up. 

Still one of the best memories tho. 

He almost didn't realize the soup was already done because of thinking about that. He now places everything on the table, the plates for the sandwich and bowls for the soup, and as he is serving it, he calls his friends to come to eat already. “Guys, dinner’s ready!”

They all went to the table quickly, they were starving, but as soon as their eyes fell on the table, they noticed something pretty obvious. 

“Kai, aren’t you missing something?” Nya was the first one to ask. 

“I don’t think so, I double-check every ingredient, but if you feel like it’s missing salt you can add it yourself” He sits at his usual chair, waiting for them to do the same, but they don’t, they look even a little concerned. “Guys, is something wrong? Because if you don’t want to eat this I can do another thing”

“No, it just seems like you forgot something” Jay clarified, but Kai still looked at them without knowing what they were talking about.

“You forgot a plate, dude” Cole says, pointing to where used to be Lloyd’s place.

Kai looked at the spot on the table, it was, in fact, empty, but he didn't answer immediately, at first, they thought he was in shock in how could he forget something like that, but no, they realize it was something they could never expect. 

“No, I did not” He replayed, looking now at everyone “We only need five plates, so I only serve five plates, and I only made five rations of food, so come here before it gets cold” 

They sit in their regular places, still looking preoccupied at Kai. 

“Why?” Nya ask 

“Why what?” 

“You know what we meant Kai, don’t try to act like you don’t”

Kai sighed, he was trying to avoid the topic, but it seemed impossible now “Look, I love Lloyd, and that’s something that isn't gonna change, but he is dead, he doesn’t need for us to do his meals, he doesn’t need for us to buy his candies, he doesn’t need for us to do anything for him anymore” He tried to hide a sob, but it was pretty obvious that he wanted to cry. “I know that we all want to keep him alive somehow, but we can’t do it this way, every single night we throw away food because we do more than what we need, every fortnight we throw away an intact bag of candies because no one else likes them, we haven’t even trained in two months.” Jay tries to say something, but Kai cuts him before he can. “Don’t use the elemental powers excuse, we can use them with the golden weapons and we know it. I get it, no one wants to accept the reality, but we need to, Lloyd would want us to keep living like this, he sacrificed himself so we could have a chance.”

After he finished, there was a pretty long silence, everyone looking at each other, and everyone now crying, they knew what Kai said was true, even if they didn’t want it to be. 

“Sometimes… sometimes when I hear the door, I still hope it’s him, just returning like nothing happened” 

“Yeah, I’m the same, just hoping that he was on a secret mission and he needed to fake his death and that’s why Misako wasn't at the funeral” Cole replied to Nya. 

“Lloyd is gone, but he gave us a second chance, let’s use it” Zane commented before began to eat. 

They all follow him, chatting while eating. 

“Oh, I forgot to ask you, at what time is the ceremony for Lloyd’s statue? I wouldn't want to miss it” 

Nya smiled before answering him and continued chatting, it wasn’t like before, and it could never be like before, of course, they missed Lloyd’s jokes and his conversation about his comic books, but this was his new normality, and they had to accept it.

Chapter Text

Preparing a speech about a person you’ve shared a hundred thousand memories with shouldn't be this hard.

Preparing a speech about a person you love with all of your heart shouldn’t be this hard. 

But it is. 

They knew at some point in their life they were gonna need to write something like this for Lloyd, but they had hoped it would be for his graduation or even his wedding. Too bad that is never gonna happen, instead, they are writing their speeches for the memorial the city is organizing with the ceremony and inauguration of the statue. 

“Maybe we can talk about when we meet him, after you guys rescue him in the school, after Phytor betrays him” Nya suggests, almost running out of ideas. 

“That wasn’t the first time we met him, the first time we met his we hung him from a post because he wanted to steal candies” 

“And we buy the candies just to bother him even more. Not one of our finest moments.” Jay completes Cole’s sentence

“Maybe we can talk about when he first saved us after he became the Green Ninja” Zane says.

“Not sure he would like that story to go public, do you remember how embarrassed he was about falling from the stairs? Or that at the end was Garmadon who saved us? Plus, that's the last time he saw his dad as a kid” Nya told them

“Why is this so fucking difficult? We were his family, we should be able to do a fucking speech about him” Kai was frustrated, very much, they had been there for 2 hours, and nothing had come to their minds. 

“Maybe we are seeing this from the wrong angle, instead of trying so hard, let’s just talk about things that we have seen Lloyd do like the time he tries to cut his hair and end up with a bald spot.” 

“I remember that, Jay! He refuses to take off his mask at all, and he would tell us anything because he really thought we would make fun of that” Cole said laughing.

“To be fair, we did make fun of him until Master Wu gave him a tea to help his hair grow.”

“Yeah, but now it was double fun, one because of his hairdresser abilities, and because his solution was using his mask until it grew on his own”

“Or let’s not forget when he tried to do ramen in the microwave but forgot to put water and almost burned down the whole kitchen” 

They keep talking about memories they have about Lloyd, not heroic ones or cool ones about the Green Ninja, just normal memories about their little brother Lloyd, including when he was still a little kid, before even thinking he could be the Green Ninja. It was one of the few times they could talk about him without feeling sad or crying, it was good to remember him for who he was and how he made them feel, happy. 

The next morning they were getting ready for the ceremony, they didn’t want to think about it until they got there, so they got prepared like it was a normal day. 

“Master Wu said he is gonna meet us there” Zane commented as he tied his tie. “He’s still trying to convince Misako to at least come to this”

“If he couldn’t convince her to go to the funeral, I doubt he can convince her to come to the ceremony” Cole responded

“Talking about awful parents, has anyone had any news about Garmadon? He kinda just disappeared after Lloyd died” 

“It’s not like he is missed here, he probably just went to another city or is planning another evil attack on us, you know” Kai answered Jay as he kept doing his hair

“Sound about right. Let’s just finish this and get going, we need to be there before the time they give us” 

(…)

They have been through this before, they’ve already been to a commemoration of a friend, through a friend's death, they lived this before, and yet, it feels like it was the first time, maybe because this is something you never get used to, no matter how many times it happened. 

There were many people there, almost all of the city had come. In the front row was Pixal, Skylor, Dareth, Master Wu, and an empty seat saved for Misako, who, according to Wu, was too busy to attend. 

Cole, Kai, Nya, Jay, and Zane were on the podium, no one knew how to start this, they looked at each other until Zane stepped up to talk.

“Everyone here knew the Green Ninja, how he always jumped to help the others no matter the cost or difficulty, how even being the son of Lord Garmadon, he decided to fight on our side. But only a few people get to know Lloyd, our little brother who loved to eat candies, play video games, and read comics, he is… he was a cheerful boy, who never failed to get a smile out of us. The moment that I remember the most was right after he came to the Bounty, he dyed my Ninja suit pink, that was the first prank he played on me, I'll never forget it” He wanted to continue, but it was tough for him to hide the sadness he begins to feel. 

Nya quickly noticed it and took his place so she could continue “Before we discover Lloyd was the Green Ninja, he was just a little 10-year-old kid, and while these boys were in missions and saving the world, I stayed with him, at first it was a bit awkward, but once we open up to the other, we became friends, I remember especially one time when we were watching a movie at almost 3:00 am when we hear Sensei Wu walking to the living room, we panic so hard, and when we try to pretend we were sleep, but we couldn’t fool him, he knew we had to be awake not long ago because our drinks still had ice and our pizza was warm. He gave us a lecture on how our body needed to rest and all those things, but after he left, we laughed, we laughed a lot, and we promised to have another movie night next week… we never had it, tho” She was crying, she wasn’t sure when the first tear appeared, but now she was sure she wasn’t gonna able to stop them from coming out anytime soon. 

She took a step back, according to his planing, Cole was the next one, then Jay, and finally Kai, but since Jay was already crying, and Cole was on the edge of it, Kai was the one to take their place.

“There’s a million things I could say about Lloyd, a thousand stories to share, and I still wouldn't be able to begin to describe the incredible person he was. If there’s something about him that I'm never gonna forget, is right after he became a teenager, none of his clothes fit him so I took him to the mall to buy him some clothes, but what’s important is not that, is what happened when we get to our home, he cried, ‘til that moment, I never saw him cry, I hug him and try to calm him, but I didn’t know why he was crying until he just told me that he wasn’t ready, and it was unfair, at first I thought he was talking about the Final battle, but then I understood, he was talking about growing up, he had already missed his childhood because of Darkleys and after that, Ninja training, he really never got to be a normal kid… and now, he could never get to be a normal teenager, or a teenager at all.” Kai could see how everyone was crying, he could feel how he was crying, but he continued his speech. “But knowing him, he wouldn’t want it any other way, he was the most selfless person in Ninjago, and he really proves that in the battle against the Onis, so, Lloyd, wherever you are, thank you, we owe you one little bro.”

As the speech finishes, the Major reveals the statue, it is similar to Zane’s, but with the colors golden and green, and at the bottom is the phrase “To Lloyd, for saving us one last time”. Everyone was so focused on that, that no one noticed the four arms figure standing behind a tree.

The Ninjas look at the statue with a smile, and that smile only gets bigger when a golden petal falls next to it, they know it means Lloyd was there, saying that he was okay, and they could be okay now.