Chapter Text
From the beginning…
At first he had felt confusion when Vivian had called him, no polite greeting or witty joke between the separated couple like normal, the first thing that had greeted him on that call, was did he or Jenson know what was going on. He remembered asking Vivian what she had been on about as clearly he was not sure what she had meant by that.
‘Have you not seen the statement from Mercedes?’
Her voice was soft, a little too soft as if she was approaching a wounded animal. Nico narrowed his eyes as he pulled his phone away from his ear and without closing the phone call, he had pulled up twitter and found the Mercedes official account had posted something that was clearly blowing twitter up with how many times it had been retweeted.
Lewis Hamilton will not continue this season and further seasons are currently not on the table due to a personal matter.
He had felt his heart drop to the floor.
Lewis was not racing.
This couldn't be true, this had to be a joke or something though they had not spoken in years, Nico knew for a fact that Lewis would never give up racing.
Lewis Hamilton bled racing.
A notification had popped up from Jenson.
‘Have you seen this!? Martin’s confirmed it but we cant get anything out of the Mercedes camp to go into more detail, trying to get something, will keep you updated’
‘Nico,talk to me, do you know something?’
There was a ringing in his ear as he dropped his phone onto the floor, Nico covered his ears and screwed his eyes shut, repeating in his head this was not true and that this was a very bad joke someone from the Mercedes camp had to be playing. Vivian’s voice calling out to him and the constant buzzing of his phone, let the cold dread take hold of his body, this was not going to be a nightmare he was going to wake from and that everything was going to be fine, he would see Lewis smiling on podium with a trophy in his hand. Opening his eyes, he slowly bent down and picked up his phone then lifted it to his ear, Vivian had gone quiet when she had finally heard Nico’s breathing down the phone.
“No I don't, Viv, I dont know”
Nico hung before she could say anything else to him, the german walked from his kitchen to his bedroom and sat down on the bed before opening the top draw, he carefully pulled out a album and began to flick through the pages, letting each of picture of him and Lewis as children take him back down memory lane.
Ignoring the tears running down his face.
Racing did not exist without Lewis.
==========
Nico had received a message from Jenson about having dinner and the German had accepted as the ex McLaren had kept on bugging him through calls, emails and the once or twice threat of just popping up at his house. Now he had set down the place mat when the door rang, he let out a sigh as he brushed a hand through his long locks before moving over to his door, opening it to reveal a tired looking Jenson, he could only imagine he looked as bad if not worse.
“Hey”
“That better be some good stuff Jense”
Pointing to the bottle of red wine that Jenson was holding in his left hand while his right was clutching his over the shoulder back.
“With what Im gonna show, I definitely got the good stuff”
Now this piqued his interest.
Sitting at the table, Nico had taken the wine and popped the cork off before filling both of their glasses up, he took a seat opposite Jenson who had lifted the glass to his lips before stopping when he spoke.
“So I managed to get through to Seb the other day and he doesnt know anything about Lewis”
“Seb spoke to you?”
“A simple message of No I dont know”
He had been surprised that his pestering had actually got the other german to reply to him, it had been a shock that he didnt know and when Nico thought that Sebastian had maybe been lying to him to cover what was going on with Lewis, those doubts had been put to sleep when Mark had called him during their catch ups that Sebastian had been down the phone panicking that he knew nothing about Lewis. Nico looked at Jenson who had placed his cup of wine down onto the table, Nico looked over to his balcony, watching the sunset starting to set over the ocean when out of the corner of his eyes, he had noticed that Jenson had brought his bag up to the table and was pulling a few bits of paper.
“Here”
Nico had raised his eyebrows as he slowly took hold of the bits of paper that Jenson was holding out to him, he turned them over and realized they were photos.
Photoes of the paddock to be exact.
Looking at them, they didn't look like anything out of the ordinary. There was the normal Sky crew talking to one another, Lance was exiting out of the building, a few mechanics or crew members of the different teams and the small child.
The same small child in all the photos.
The small child that looked exactly like Lewis from the memory of Lewis’s Dad showing him and his Father Keke a few photos of little Lewis as his dad had done with his own photos.
It was like a carbon copy of Lewis.
There was no way.
He looked up to Jenson with wide eyes, turning the photo around and pointing to the small Lewis lookalike in the picture.
“No…”
Jenson had leaned back into his chair as he rubbed his hand over his face before looking at the photo then to Nico.
“This was taken a few weeks ago but Naomi had noticed this child popping up a few times around us, a few times by the Red Bull garage and it wasn't till Will had brought these photos to us then it clicked. Its like the motorgp incident a few years ago. The statement with those photos, Lewis had turned into a child again”
“No…”
“Nico Ive seen pictures of little Lewis and I know for a fact you have too, This is Lewis”
Lewis was a child again.
Nico had turned the photo around, he let his eyes burn the image into his mind before he turned to Jenson.
“What else do you know?”
“Where to begin? Oh lets start with the fact, He’s being looked after by Daniel Riccardo”
========
Sky had done a damn brilliant job of keeping this news of Lewis Hamilton turning back to being four out of the media, hell it had been helpful in the form of Lawrence Stroll. LIke Jenson had said, the ex McLaren driver had kept him updated with everything going on with Lewis from what they could see.
He had explained this to Vivian about who knew and by the looks of who did not know about the 7x world champion.
“Would explain the sudden appearance of Seb and Kimi at the track, has Jenson made an approach yet?”
“No, he said he isnt going to beg to see Lewis like probably Sebastian had done”
Nico had seen her finger twitch a little before she had picked up her cup of tea, he let out a sigh before shaking his head as he stood up and made his way to the window. The German could feel the roll of her eyes, a few weeks ago, Vivian had approached him about going straight to the aussie and demanding to see Lewis but Nico had shot that down straight away with no room for any argument about it.
There was no way Lewis would have remembered him.
And if he did, it probably wasn't in the nicest of lights.
The fact, no one had sent him anything about the fact that Lewis had become little showed him that they did not want him to know, they wanted to keep little Lewis clear of Nico.
He had felt pure rage at it first, Lewis had been his friend first, his best friend through it all.
Nobody had put a team together so they could race with Lewis, Nobody invited Lewis on family holidays to Greece, Nobody would sit with Lewis stuffing their face with frostie kellogs, Nobody had the dreams of being world champions together, Nobody had the honour of being the first to receive a nickname from Lewis
But then he remembered the Silver Wars.
And he understood why they kept Lewis from him.
Nico would not push against it, no matter how hard Vivian would argue with him.
============
Photo had all he had been able to see of Lewis.
Tiny adorable Lewis.
Sometimes Nico wished that he would somehow stumble upon the little driver, it was his guilt secret that he refused to let Jenson and Vivian know.
It was like the universe had heard his wish, deciding today was it.
Nico had remembered he was visiting Jenson on the paddock, there was a moment were the place was not crowded and he had stepped away for some fresh air when he had noticed Carlos and Sebastian walking away from him then he watched as a hand had popped out of the jacket draped over Carlos’s shoulder, a biscuit had fallen out of it. He bent down to pick the biscuit up and that's when he had felt the pull to look back at the shoulder of Carlos.
Two small deep coal eyes greeted him.
Lewis
The German stood up, his eyes not leaving Lewis as he watched as the little driver had reached out a hand to him, the glistening of tears in his eyes, Nico had felt himself take a step forward as his heart had lurched forward in his chest.
“Lewis”
Suddenly a large group of people had appeared before him and Lewis was no longer in front of him.
===========
“I'm going to absolutely throttle him, no i'm going to murder him”
“HIm who?”
“Daniel that who”
“Jense what has happened?”
Nico had to take a walk to the beach after Jenson had explained what had transpired with Daniel and the idea that no one knew Lewis was allergic to certain types of water. He had roughly bent down and picked up a large stone before throwing it into the ocean with a fuming deep throat scream. The anger he could feel from Jenson had slowly built up in him, Nico had picked up another stone and repeated, he did not care if he was scaring the few people who had been walking on the beach behind him.
They were not looking after Lewis right.
He had to press down the urge to march right down to where they were and swiftly take Lewis away.
Nico would have never let any harm come to Lewis at all but then he had been someone who dealt so much harm to Lewis during their last year of Mercedes together.
“They asked if you knew”
“And what did you say?”
“I didnt answer them”
========
Nico had been sat down on his sofa, reading through the reports of his company when Vivian had bursted through the door with the biggest smile of her face, he pushed down his glasses to look a her with a raised eyebrow, she had thrown herself onto the sofa next to him and was pushing her phone into his face.
“Look who I spotted at the market”
There on the phone were several photos of Carlos, Lando and Oscar with a little Lewis strapped to the Spaniard’s back down the aisle of the market. Nico had turned to look at her but he was unable to find his voice to ask the thousand of questions that ran through his mind.
“So I had to double take when I first saw them and I followed them around the market once I knew it was definitely Lewis. They were arguing down about crayons when I took another peak at him and Lewis waved to me, I got to see that toothy smile of his again”
Vivian had swiped to the left and just as she said, there was a picture of Lewis waving to her with a big smile.
“I then decided to take the risk and I walked down that aisle, it looked like Lewis wanted to say something so I held my finger to my lips for him to be quiet and handed him the bear”
“You did what!?”
Nico had wanted to be mad at her, Viviain had no reason going through his box of memories that contained everything to do with Lewis, especially not a small teddy that had the German flag over its heart. A gift he had given to Lewis when they had been little, a time when they had to go back to their own respectable countries, Nico had brought it so Lewis would never forget him when he returned home. He had known Lewis had treasured that teddy so much, it had travelled with Lewis through his Mclaren days and when they were both at Mercedes, though towards the end of it all, Nico hadnt known whether the teddy was still with Lewis or had been thrown away but it broke his heart even more when he was sat down in his parents living room during the winter break after a year since he had announced his retirement when his Father had entered with an open package and soft saddened look in his yes.
Flashback
“What is that honey?”
Nico had watched his father turn to his mother and tilted the package to show her, his mother had brought a hand to her mouth and she looked at him with tears building in the corners.
“Wha…”
“I'm so sorry Nico, I know how much this meant to you, to both of you”
His father had placed the package into his hands and Nico looked down, the slow healing of his heart that had taken over the year, all breaking and shattering to the sight of the teddy bear with the German flag over its heart.
The teddy he thought may have been thrown away like rubbish.
Nico had remembered thanking his father and bid both of his parents a good night before making his way to the room they had set up for him. He had sat down on the bed, clutching the teddy to his chest as he silently cried to himself.
Flashback
Nico had let go of his anger at Vivian when it had gotten back to him from Jenson about how Lewis had not let go of said teddy, it had become the little driver's favourite thing.
He would no longer sit back and do nothing.
=========
It had been busy in the paddock, he had been thankful for the small get up that hid who he was and he was lucky no one had noticed him, Nico was looking out for any sign of Lewis, he clutched the small box of cereal in his hands.
Frostie Kellogs
How his Father still had the brand of the discontinued cereal at home, he would never question it.
Now he didn't really know what his plan was if he came across the little driver.
Suddenly he had caught Carlos walking towards the Red Bull with said little driver in his arms, nobody really paying attention to the pair. Nico didnt know what took over his body and he found himself on the path that would at some point connect all three of them. When it had happened, Nico had lost his voice as Carlos had pressed Lewis’s head gently down to shield the little driver, the Spaniard not realising who he had bumped into and all Nico could do was slip the cereal into the bag the spaniard was carrying.
===========
Spain
Why did it have to be Spain?
He had decided that the next race, he would go down and finally march up to Daniel and the others to finally see Lewis but Nico had not realised where the next race was.
Of course it had to be Spain when he decided to push through.
Nico could feel the vile, bitter memory trying to push its way through his mind, to stop him but the German had decided he was done hiding away. He looked down at the satnav and noticed he wasnt far from the track when his phone began to ring, he pressed the button of the loud speaker.
“Fuck them all”
“Jense?”
“Something has gone down with Daniel and fucking Seb isnt letting anyone see Lewis, hell not even Fernando, you need to get your butt down here and pull the rug out from underneath them”
“Jense im 10 minutes away from the track”
“You are?”
“Yeah..”
“You stepping up?”
“Yes”
Suddenly Jenson had gone quiet but there were a few other voices in the background of the call, Nico had finally parked up and managed to get into the gate with his phone to his ear when the ex McLaren spoke again.
“Lewis has run, they cant find him”
Nico had felt his world collapse at those words.
He had to take a few breaths to calm himself down, that's when he realised Jenson had yet to put the phone down on him. His friend had informed him quietly that they had all drivers looking for the little driver and it was not long till the information of Lewis had not left the track. Nico had looked around, trying to think of where the little driver could have run to.
The rain started falling and Nico had found himself at the track.
He knew where Lewis would be.
“Jense, he will be on the track”
Nico had jumped over the barrier and had started running down the track, he was at turn 5, heading towards where he and Lewis had collided together here in Spain, back in 2016.
“Turn 3, Lewis will be at turn3”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Turn 3 is where he would of gone for safe haven”
“ Why would that-”
“Jense just tell them!”
“Ok I tell”
When he got to turn 3, Jenson and the others were on the gravel making there way over to Lewis who was huddled at the barrier, the same spot the little driver had stopped spinning on the gravel on when they had collided. It broke his heart to see Lewis like this but there had been an awful part of him that found joy in the fact little Lewis had found safe haven in the spot they had collided together.
Nico had watched from his place from behind the others when Lewis had lifted his head up at the sound of everyone.
He found deep coal eyes looking at him,
“Mele”
This had stopped everyone in their tracks except for him, Nico did not care about the looks he was getting from the others when he passed by Daniel and Sebastian, he had to push his leg to move. When he had heard that nickname, all Nico wanted to do was just collapse.
“God I havent heard that nickname in a long time, last time was at the start of 2016”
Tears were now rolling down his cheeks and Nico could feel the small sobs breaking out of his lips as he watched Lewis scramble to stand up, still looking at him and not anyone else.
“Of course…you… would find… haven… in the…. Place we… crashed”
“Mele”
He had finally reached the end of the gravel and stood a foot away from Lewis who was looking up at him with such big eyes, red from all the crying the little driver must have done. Nico had dropped down onto his knees as finally his legs gave way, no longer able to hold himself up.
Fuck what they thought of him.
No, he only cared about Lewis in front of him.
“Meine Leibe”
“Mele!”
Lewis had thrown himself at Nico and the German driver had automatically wrapped his arms around the little driver, burying his face into the hair of Lewis. All he could do was cry hard as he felt tiny hands grip his shirt, Lewis was shaking in his arms and Nico tightened his grip, taking a deep breath in.
“Mele dont leave me again”
“Never Meine Leibe Never”