Chapter Text

The autumn leaves, they fall. But I am left the same. A thousand years have passed. But still, nothing has changed. What’s left to give when you have met the end? The petals fall and leave a barren stem, I feel it crumbling. I thought that love that light would forever mine. The beating of your heart, it’s only in my mind. I close my eyes and see all my mistakes. A throne of gold, a perfect masquerade. I feel it set to flame somewhere inside of me. Another moment — Another memory. Another tear to tear me down. I want to keep your memory, won’t forget. But can it find a way to hurt me less: It’s my devotion that cuts me open time again.

— AmaLee (Devotion)

33. Devotion

Denzel blinked at the image. 

He learnt in maths class recently about place value.

But they hadn’t covered what came after the seventh.

Just that it was a lot. Denzel couldn’t count how many zeroes before his eyes crossed.

Cloud let Tifa hold the PHS has she stared dumbfounded at it. 

“This could—We could—” She looked back to them. “Can we use this?” She asked, shocked. 

Cloud nodded.

“We can use this for the bar?” She added, clearly still in shock. 

Cloud frowned, and with a flick of his hand, he controlled the PHS that was in her hand easily, to move up to the above comment from Reeve. 

Also consider Seventh Heaven paid in full and fully insured for the future. As a gift from me.  

Tifa stared. 

“What.” She gasped. “He can DO that!?” She asked.

Cloud shrugged. Can’t tell him not to? He asked. 

Zack reiterated him easily with a snort.

Tifa narrowed her eyes. “What does he want?” She demanded. 

Cloud shrugged. Help with W-R-O when it gets over their heads. Which we would do anyway. Duh. He signed with a roll of his eyes. 

Zack snorted, but explained.

So we don’t need to worry. D-S-H doesn’t need to worry. He explained. 

Zack frowned. “Hold up. D-S-H?” He said and finger spelled at the same time, looking to Cloud. 

He pointed to Denzel. 

That didn’t help him, at all, actually. 

But it caused Denzel to cry out jovially. “That’s my name! My initials!” He crowed.

Ah. Made sense now. 

Denzel was now grinning. 

Finally, a happy emotion.

Zack slumped. 

This family. Self guilt should be their middle name. He swore.

“Anything else? Seriously. You lot.” Zack said, in amusement. 

Cloud tucked his PHS away, and shook his head. 

No more grievances from him? He took that with a grain of salt. 

Zack looked at Tifa meaningfully. She shook her head. 

“Um?” Denzel questioned, making everyone look to him. “So, I can, like, go to the extra class, right?” He asked. 

Cloud snorted, and Tifa laughed.

“You can go!” Tifa cajoled. “But know, even if money was an issue, it wouldn’t have been for this, understand? We would’ve found a way around it.” She asked, gently, yet firmly. 

Denzel nodded, proudly. Proud he had found out about the class, about the many lunches he spent with Marlene discussing it, and planning how to tell their parents. Gathering the courage to do so. What they would do if Denzel couldn’t go, because money was too tight. Marlene eagerly stating that whatever she learnt she would retell to Denzel.

He loved his sister, he did. And he couldn’t wait to tell her he would be going.

So…no more grievances? 

Zack gave them a minute, then slumped over the table. 

“You’re done being sad?” He muttered, tiredly. 

He allowed Cloud to snort and flick him in the head with only a half-hearted glare at best.

“Zack?” Tifa was questioning. 

He hummed at her, slowly sitting back up. 

“Can you teach us some while we wait for the others to come back?” She asked. 

Zack grinned. “Sure!” He said eagerly. “Tell me if your fingers get sore!” He added in warning.

In a few hours time, Denzel had down how to sign his own name.

He no longer needed his father to correct him on how to finger spell S. It was a weird sign that involved his two pinkies interlocking and pulling down on one another at the same time.

No one seemed to mind, it took him a fair few goes to get it right. D, and H were much easier to get right. D just looked like a written D, and H was a palm slide off his other. 

Easy.

It took him no less than time to realise his father had a sign for his Mom. It made him absolutely giddy with joy. And the explanation that he was working on his Sign Name.

From the signs, Denzel could see there were no less than three. But only one seemed to be a letter like his. Which was T. Which he sometimes got confused in placement on his finger with U. But no one seemed to mind. One was below the other, on the same finger! 

The two other signs he wasn’t sure of yet. But they definitely weren’t letters. Gestures maybe? One undoubtedly involved his finger at his chin twice. And the other involved his whole hand at his check that went outwards.

He watched his father glare at Zack when the man giggled every time he signed his mother’s sign. Zack then would raise his arms in giddy surrender.

Denzel felt his stomach growl at lunchtime. 

“Sorry.” He muttered, knowing his dad could hear it. Denzel worried they would stop practising because of him.

He looked up when his father tapped him on his shoulder, and signed the word. 

Denzel tried to copy it. Easily getting the placement wrong. It looked the same as the sign he used as part of Mom’s name. But he gently took his hand and shook his palm over his shoulder at least three times. 

“Sorry?” He asked. 

His father grinned. With it, he knew he got it right.

Denzel saw the flash of gestures to Zack over his head as he practised. 

“Sure! I’ll be back with food!” Zack yelled as he got up and dashed out.

It made Denzel grin and wave, then he focused back on the sign he was trying to remember.

Was it irrational to hate a thing he just learnt? The sign for sorry. How many times had he seen his father abort signing it?

At the time, Denzel thought he was pushing his hair away from his neck.

All those small moments. Trivial now that he looked back.

The first time he needed to have an overnighter after Geostigma was gone. It only convinced him, at the time, that Denzel cost more than he was worth.

The only time he had been late to pick them up from school. Denzel was just about to decide to go back into the school to ask them to call Tifa. Since he apparently wasn’t old enough to leave without one parent or guardian. Barret had asked if he wanted him to take him home on his way out with Marlene. But Denzel had said no. Because Cloud was coming to get him!

But he rushed in, looking pale and panicked. The sign. Aborted. Denzel thought, at the time, that it was because he was pulling his riding glasses off. 

“You’re late, Mister Strife.” Came his teacher’s stern warning. 

Denzel saw him look at her, grimace. Wasn’t a good day. “Red light.” He muttered, strained. 

“Don’t let it happen again.” She had continued to warn. 

Then on, Mom had picked them up. Back then, Denzel figured it was because he was too much to care for. Not because Dad got struck worse with Geostigma seizures. Worse, because after that, he then left altogether. 

Once he figured he got the sign down pat, he patted his father’s side, who was helping Mom with a sign she wasn’t getting, much to her frustration. If Denzel could figure by her annoyed frown at her fingers as if they offended her. 

They paused and looked down at him. 

Sorry. Denzel signed.

His Dad blinked, then pointed to himself. He knew that sign! Then he signed he was sorry. 

Denzel returned the idea. He had so much to apologise to his Dad for. 

His dad ruffled his hair in pride. He didn’t mind the miscommunication for the moment. Denzel would get better and explain once he knew every sign he needed to do so.

After lunch and a few signs to go along with it, Denzel now knew some terms. 

Some of them meant the same thing. Like eat, and hungry? Same sign. Easy. And it was to put his fingers to his mouth several times. He hadn’t realised it was an actual word. Denzel had seen his Dad sign it numerous times when he was too tired over breakfast. 

Denzel was grinning now. He knew some signs without knowing it!

But once lunch was over. Apparently it was time to learn colours. 

Not that Denzel minded. Any topic would do.

But he finally figured out one of the signs for Mom’s name. The first sign? The one before T? It was red! The chin sign was red!

Denzel figured she got it at the same time because she signed for name, a salute to her forehead, then pointed to herself questioningly. 

Dad grinned, but didn’t elaborate mischievously. 

Zack was laughing his ass off at this for some reason. 

By the time they had dinner, Denzel was trying not to show he was mentally tired. 

But they must have seen it.

Cloud made a gesture with his thumb back and forth several times. 

“Yeah?” Zack asked. Denzel pouted when they all looked to him. “All right, yeah, all done for today, yeah?” He asked. 

Denzel kept pouting, and it earned him a vocal chuckle from his Dad. He immediately lost the pout and grinned happily. 

“Besides!” Tifa was saying. “You don’t want to miss this!” She added. 

Denzel was right there alongside Zack in blinking. “Miss what?” They asked. 

Tifa giggled and gestured them to follow. 

“Miss what?!” Zack edged in a warning growl.

They saw the mischievous grin Cloud had. 

“I’m onto you, buddy of mine.” Zack warned.

Cloud snorted at him in amusement. 

The sun had completely set by the time they met back up with everyone by a giant camp fire. 

And they weren’t the only ones to be there, either. Everyone, who had travelled to Cosmo Canyon, was there for the event. It was the reason they travelled in the first place.

Cloud noted exactly when the future family came into view, and the immediate knock Denzel did to his side to say hi, before he zoomed around him to do the same thing to Tifa. Who was still a little uncomfortable with her performance over public speaking prior. 

He told her everyone else could go to hell. 

She laughed. But he got it.

He saw the massive grin she got when Denzel greeted her happily. 

Kid was great for an icebreaker, that was sure. 

But then everyone was looking towards Aerith as she opened the celebrations and the kid booked it back to his parents. 

At least he wasn’t the only one who doubted himself.

That, or public speaking just sucked for everyone. 

“Dad! Dad! Look!” He couldn’t help but hear Denzel shriek in joy and look over to see him tug on his father’s hand several times and pointing upwards in awe of the lanterns turning green. 

He couldn’t help but watch as this older version of him easily pointed to himself, then his eye, then pointed upwards. 

I see them. 

Denzel grinned happily, and looked back up, content.

Apparently, starting to teach the kid sign had improved his overall wellbeing. 

If Cloud ever met this kid in the present, he knew what to do, he guessed.

Cloud could admit, that even he was awed at the lanterns turning green, then fading altogether from sight. 

Then it was all over, and Bugenhagen requested their aid with something. 

He saw his older self hang back warily.

“Cloud?” Zack was asking. 

He was shaking his head. 

You go. It’s past D-S-H’s bedtime. He offered. 

Cloud couldn’t help but frown in confusion at the letters.

“Aw man.” Denzel was grouching.

Maybe the letters meant him? It didn’t seem to be a gesture that meant the kid in total. So perhaps the older blonde hadn’t gotten around to figuring out a complete sign name for the kid?

You don’t need to see this. He amended. 

This caused not just Cloud to frown, he noted Zack did too. 

“See what?” Zack asked. 

He was pointing to Bugenhagen dismissively, then turned to his Tifa. 

Who shrugged. “I guess.” She said, then looked down at Denzel. “Alright. Shall we see who can get back to the inn faster?” She asked. 

“As long as Dad doesn’t cheat and fly!” Denzel was immediately squawking. 

But then Denzel was running, and so was his mother, and his father was chuckling.

“You’re not going after them?” Zack asked, mirth clinging to his tone. 

Adult Cloud shrugged one shoulder. It’s more fun this way. He gave a count-down from five, then he, too, bolted. And didn’t use the elevator.

They heard the shrieking from his family when he easily caught up. 

“I said no flying!” Denzel was yelling happily.

Then they all turned back to Bugenhagen, laughing jubilantly at them all. 

“There’s something of great import I need to show you. And by that, I mean all of you here.” He was requesting.

This something was apparently a vault that Red had never set paw in before. 

Weird, but fine. 

Odder when Bugenhagen told Red to go only with Barret. 

He had five Gil to Yuffie’s three, that the two would bicker the entire time.

Zack said six, just to make it interesting, before handing over the Buster sword to Cloud with a grin, and refused to take it back once they were allowed to follow at the insistence of the guides.

They came up on Red and Barret to Bugenhagen demanding Red stay with them to travel the world in his stead.

“Look after him for me.” Bugenhagen requested. 

Cloud found himself nodding. “Don’t worry. We will.” He said. 

He figured it was the right thing to say when Tifa happily tugged his hand several times. 

And then the Gi got involved.

Cloud was surprised Zack was freaking out alongside Yuffie. He wasn’t surprised that Tifa was set off. She hated ghosts and evil spirits, after all. He could remember how much she clung to his arm at the train grave yard.

But then Gi Nattak took one look at Aerith, and Zack got over it pretty quickly, to put himself in front of Aerith protectively.

“Come with me.” The Spector requested in a haze of red. 

“Yeah. I’m gonna vote no on that one.” Zack was hissing as he glared at the tunnel.

“You scared?” Barret cajoled. 

Zack glared. “So what if I am!” He requested in warning. 

Barret laughed. 

But all Cloud could do was stare at the tunnel’s opening and not hear their bickering at all. Because suddenly there was Sephiroth.

Cloud clamped down hard on Tifa’s hand and tugged in alarm, hopefully before he took away his ability to do so. 

What was he going to do?

Why was he here? 

Cloud could only watch as he watched him, as if Cloud was interesting. 

But he could only stare, clamped down on her hand, knowing he still could. Even if nothing else was working. He tried and couldn’t raise his other hand to the Buster sword in defence.

He had to hope that with the weight, and him staring off into the void. They would notice. Cloud knew he wasn’t there. He knew that now. 

But that didn’t help the fact he was right there! Smiling at him, threateningly!

Then something caught the clothing at the nape of his neck, and yanked.

Suddenly Sephiroth vanished into a purple haze, and Cloud could finally yelp out, and he was thrown backwards.

Cloud wasn’t thrown off his feet, but he did take a few steps back to make sure he didn’t. 

Suddenly he could move, he looked around, he was gone, and he could see everyone again. 

He couldn’t help the terrified whine that rose up in his throat. 

“What is it?” Zack was demanding. “What happened?” He added, outraged. 

Zack hadn’t seen. He turned to Tifa. He must have hurt her hand, and he released her with a grimace. 

Cloud hadn’t wanted to hurt her. 

Before he could back off, she was shaking her head, and stepping towards him. 

Before he could freak out more, she had her arms around his shoulders, one hand at his head, gently but firmly pulling him down. 

He went easily. 

“What happened?” Tifa was asking. 

He slumped. 

“There. He was there.” He muttered, suddenly so tired. 

“Shit.” He heard Zack mutter as her grip tightened. 

“What did he do?” Tifa asked gently. 

“Wants us to follow.” Cloud told her.

He got the sense easily. Even if he hadn’t said anything. Was still betting on Cloud chasing after him before asking questions.