Chapter Text
Thursday, September 3, 1998
Hi,
I apologise for not bothering to answer you earlier. I know that your last letter was two weeks ago now, but it takes me days to find out what to say each time. Furthermore, the return to Hogwarts was difficult for me, as for all the others. I don't know how your classes are going, I guess it must be exciting too. In my wildest dreams, I am on the same road as you. I know it sounds contradictory since I served Voldemort. I know that people will not forgive me for my actions. But frankly, I don't care. I have nothing to prove to anyone. Nothing forced me to help you like I did, and nothing can force me to do anything I don't want to do, now.
I gradually realised that things are changing and that an ocean of possibilities is opening up to me. It makes me feel sort of confused. But I think everything is better. I have the feeling that everything is possible. That I am completely free. It's almost scary. And while I slowly discover the fact of having the choice, the world seems to hate me. I don't blame anyone; in my place, I would hate me too. I am despicable. I'm not saying this to attract pity or compassion, it's only factual. Anyway, I'm losing track of what I had to tell you.
All this laïus to say, I respected your request, of course. I'm watching over Granger, I swear. It seemed strange to me at first that you asked me such a thing, but thinking about it for two seconds, it's quite logical. I rather expected you to ask your girlfriend to do it for me. But I understood where you were going.
You're scared, aren't you? You are afraid that we will continue to make her suffer. Part of you refuses to admit that we have changed. That we are ready for a new start. Yet, that's all this eighth year represents. A second chance. A radical change. If that's what you’re so afraid of, you can sleep peacefully. She is in good hands. I think Pansy takes care of it. They pretend to hate each other, but I believe that they begin to appreciate each other secretly. Just look at how they look at each other. It's so obvious.
I believe that we are ready to become good people. And we could never have succeeded in starting this path without you, even if it kills me to admit it. I hate to say it. I wasn't raised like that. But thank you. That's it, that's all, don't expect more. I'm already doing a lot for you.
Looking forward to seeing you again.
Friday, September 4, 1998
Hello,
I was surprised to hear from you again. I didn't think you would answer me one day, after what I asked you. I'm glad to see that you took this seriously. My letter will be short and I will be brief, I don't have much time since I started my course.
Yes, you were a despicable individual. I hated you with an obsession for years. A part of me will always hate the person you were. But the one you have become intrigues me, and in a good way. You and your friends will have to work to redeem, and it goes beyond what you did this summer for school, I believe you already know it. But as I told a friend, good times are ahead of us. We just need to improve all together, hand in hand. Repeating this cycle of hatred would be devastating, even if many people are not yet aware of it. I am determined to put the past aside. To forget it would be stupid. Time is not to forget, but to forgive. We can't forget. But we can find the strength in our hearts to forgive.
Mine has not yet forgiven you for the suffering that you and your friends have caused, whether to me or my friends. But it seemed crucial to me not to lose contact with you. To build a better world, a more open world, with less discrimination. I will find time and peace to forgive you, but I will not be able to do it without your participation. Protect my loved ones, continue to watch over them as you promised, and the task will be easier for me.
For my part, I was raised in a certain way. It kills me to say it just like you, but I thank you too. I will be at the Three Broomsticks on Saturday, September 12. I would like to meet you there, to truly start this peace process through something other than parchment, even if writing to you has greatly helped me, more than I can admit it out loud.
I hope to meet you that evening.