Chapter Text
Catherine was in Roddy's office, leaning against Moody's desk finishing her cup of tea, when the phone started ringing again. She immediately answered because it couldn't be anyone other than Jackson.
“Am I in speaker?” It was the first thing he asked.
“Yes,” she looked at Roddy who was focused on the computer, watching the headcam footage again. That boy could be so wild sometimes, Catherine had barely dared to watch as the Dogs murdered one of the kidnappers.
“I want to talk only to you”
“Wait a second, I'm going to transfer the call to the first floor.” Catherine touched the corresponding buttons and left the office, quickly climbing the steps to the first floor.
"What's going on?" she asked, a little agitated, picking up the phone. She sent the call to the first floor and not to her office because she didn't like the tone of his voice, and she didn't want to wait that long.
"Nothing. River and Minuisa went to look for the boy, I'm sitting on a log waiting for them to come back” he said tiredly, looking towards the green trees, it was a pleasant day if it weren't for the small detail of the kidnapped child, a product of the extreme right.
Catherine couldn't help but smile. "Bored?" She leaned against the desk, wrapping an arm across her stomach.
“A little,” he confessed, kicking some dirt with his shoe, throwing the ashes of his cigarette on the ground.
"Jealous?" she asked intrigued.
“Nah. That part of my life is over, I'm tired of running.”
When he left the active life of the service, a part of him was afraid of missing it, afraid of not being good at “normal” life, but his life was full of Ellie, taking her to karate classes, swimming, to the park, to concerts. His life was filled with his daughter, and he realized that he would never stay still as long as she was by his side. No mission gave her as much fear and adrenaline as the night he took her to her first night at the club, or when she stayed the night at her first boyfriend's house, or when he took her to the airport 4 months ago.
“You looked a little excited when you went after Hassan,” Catherine said with an accusatory tone in her voice.
“Well, it was fun, I'm not going to lie, there is a certain adrenaline that never goes away” a part of him will always get excited about these things, after all it was his life for more than 20 years, but never enough to want to do it again.
It had been 20 years since Jackson had stopped traveling, that he stayed with them every day. It was a bit strange at first, they had never spent more than three weeks together, which was incredible considering they were married and had a daughter. But they quickly got used to living together, to being a family like the rest.
“I must admit, tracking Hassan was also fun for me. I felt… useful” she confessed.
“You are useful,” he said immediately, as if she were saying nonsense. “This whole damn place would fall apart without you.”
She smiled softly, playing with the phone cord. “You say that because you are my husband.”
“I say this because I am your boss who is lucky enough to be your husband,” he assured her. “You are the most important thing in this fucking place, nothing could be done without you. And it was always like that, from day one”
“Do you remember when we first came here?” She said looking at the empty office with some nostalgia.
“It was just us and a building that was falling apart,” he sighed. “Not so different from now”
Catherine laughed softly. “It was really a dump.”
When all the fuss over Charles' death died down, Cartwright gave Slough House to Jackson, and he took her with him. It was the end of their careers, they both knew it. But as Jackson had rightly said, their careers no longer had meaning, and the only thing they had was their family. Working here they could be far from everything, far from the power struggles, the lies, the Dogs. Here they could make their own rules, live in peace, and have time to watch their daughter grow up.
“But I think we did pretty well,” Jackson said.
It wasn't easy, Charles' death ruined their lives for a long time, but slowly they were able to move forward, some days were easier than others, there were days where they blamed each other, nights where Catherine closed her eyes and the only thing she saw was Charles´s exploited head against the bathroom wall, days where Jackson sat in his office and couldn't believe he had ended up here, days where the weight of his actions became too much.
“Yes, I think we did,” she said proudly. Catherine will always hate the events that led them to this place, she will always wish that Charles hadn't done what he did, that Jackson hadn't done what he did, but in the end, things turned out relatively well for both of them, and she wouldn't change this horrendous place for nothing in the world. She couldn't have continued working for the heads of MI5 knowing who they really were, at least here she had more autonomy, here they had their own rules. Yes, she worked in a garbage dump but it was theirs. And today reminded her how good it was to be away from Taverner and her dogs.
“Oh, I think I see them coming. It seems that they are alive and have the boy…”
“Oh, thank God,” she sighed with relief, placing a hand on her chest.
“And the kidnapper… what the hell,” Jackson muttered. “I'll leave you, see you. Love you” he ended the call quickly.
She stayed a moment longer with the phone to her ear and a smile on her face. Everything had turned out well in the end, she thought happily, and it had been thanks to them. Jackson was right, there was a certain adrenaline that never goes away.
****
Catherine walked slowly up the stairs to Jackson's office, it had been a long day and she was tired, she was no longer young enough to stay up all night, she needed to go to bed, but she knew she wouldn't do it anytime soon, they still had things to do, the day it was far from over. She entered the office and found him sitting behind his desk, leaning toward a drawer.
"It's done?" she asked, walking slowly towards his desk. Jackson had left half an hour ago to meet with Taverner, he had agreed to be part of his plan and knock on the door of the place where Hassan was being held in exchange for her file.
Jackson nodded, locking the drawer. “Diana won't bother you with that again,” he assured her, leaning back in his chair.
“Are we sure she doesn't have a copy?” She asked with some concern, walking around the desk to stop in front of him.
“You never know with her. But at least the original is ours” he reached out to take Catherine's hand and pulled her into his lap. She smiled softly as she fell onto his legs, and wrapped an arm around his neck.
“Hi,” Catherine said quietly, it was the first time since all this started that they could be alone for a moment.
“Hi,” he responded as she placed a hand on his cheek and leaned in to kiss him softly. He kissed her back as his hand gently squeezed the top of her thigh.
“We don't have much time, we have to pick up Ellie,” Catherine reminded him, releasing his lips and resting her forehead against his. He pulled her closer to him leaving no space between them.
“I promised her I would go pick her up,” Jackson sighed. “Remind me again why I'm a good father,” he planted soft, small kisses on her jawline, while one of his hands continued to gently knead her thigh.
“Because I chose the best” she smiled, seeking his lips to kiss him once more, with one hand cupping his face.
The fact that Ellie was returning from her trip today had been on both of their minds all night. Catherine was very afraid that things would not have been resolved by the time she returned, she did not want to explain why her parents were being persecuted.
“We're lucky she's not here,” Jackson said, enjoying the warmth of her body against his, her curves against his hands, and her weight in his arms. When she was in his arms he felt whole again.
"Yes. I haven't gone back home to get my mobile yet, but I left her a voicemail when we got back here with Roddy,” she explained, squeezing the hair on the back of his neck between her fingers while Jackson's other hand went up her side toward her breast. “I hope she heard it before she boarded the plane.”
“Did you tell her we were going to pick her up?” He leaned down to plant a kiss on her cheek and then the corner of her mouth, his lips brushing her soft skin with little butterfly kisses that prickled Catherine's skin and curled her toes.
“Yes, and that I didn't have my mobile,” she said without interest as she squeezed his hair between her fingers and in an almost abrupt movement, guided his head towards her lips. Her tongue slid between his lips and he gasped softly into her mouth as she moved her hips against his lap, causing small frictions that drove him crazy.
Jackson moved his hands from her breast and thigh to her back and held her against him as he kissed her. Her breasts pressed against his chest. He always kissed her with such devotion and little restraint that Catherine's blood boiled. She believed it had to do with the time they had spent apart at the beginning of their relationship, where encounters were brief and far between, where each kiss could be the last. But now, even when he could have her whenever he wanted, he still kissed her like it was the only thing that mattered. She moved her hips against him again when she felt the proof of his devotion pressing against her thigh, and he rested his forehead against hers.
“Jackson,” she said, gently caressing his cheek, desire dripping in her voice.
“Yeah, yeah, I'm already on that,” he murmured, and in one swift movement he lifted her from his lap and sat her on his desk.
Catherine laughed softly, she loved when he picked her up as if they were still young and desperate, as if this moment was the only important thing in their lives, as if the world was ending and it was just them and their kisses.
She wrapped both arms around his neck, seeking his lips once more as he stood between her legs and reached under her skirt.
“Do you always have to wear so many clothes?” He complained when the first thing he caressed was the tights that covered her legs.
She laughed and pulled him into another kiss, placing a hand on the back of his neck. “It's cold,” she reminded him, kissing the corner of his mouth at the same time her hands went to his belt, eager to feel more of him. “But hurry up, we don't have that much time,” she reminded him, unzipping his pants.
"Say no more"
Catherine gasped as she heard the sound of fabric tearing. “Jackson!” she complained, when she saw him tearing her tights with both hands, but her complaints died on her lips when the image of him tearing her clothes with his own bare hands, to feel her skin, hit directly between her legs.
“I'll buy you hundreds of pairs,” he assured her like the desperate man he was for her as he knelt in front of her.
Jackson fell to the floor between her legs, tossed his glasses to the side and pulled off the rest of her torn thighs, throwing them away. In an almost desperate gesture, he roughly lifted her skirt and bunched it around her hip. He leaned forward and began kissing the inside of her left thigh before moving to her right and making the same trail of kisses.
His kisses were too soft for his desperate attitude and Catherine felt like she was on fire, the image of him kneeling in front of her would never stop warming her insides. His lips were rough against her tender skin, his strong fingers digging into her flesh, his breath inches from her center but not exactly where she wanted it, boiling her blood.
“Jackson” growled in anticipation. “There's not that much time,” she reminded him, putting a hand on his shoulder, pressing her fingers against the fabric of his shirt. She knew he liked to make her suffer, but they didn't have time for those kinds of things.
He smiled cockily at her and their eyes met as he grabbed her thigh and, pressing his fingers against her skin, put her leg over his shoulder.
“Whatever the lady wants,” he murmured, burying his face in the damp cotton of her panties, caressing her over the fabric.
A gasp escaped her lips. “That's not what I want,” she said through clenched teeth, but her complaints died on her lips when he pushed the fabric away with one finger and ran his tongue along her slick folds. His lips captured her throbbing bundle of nerves, surrounding it, pressing it, sucking it.
Catherine arched her backwards, leaning closer to him. While one of her hands held her steady against the desk, the other went to his head, squeezing his hair between her fingers.
He didn't stop, his skillful tongue sliding against her wetness, circling her clit for a moment more before heading lower towards her opening. When his tongue entered her, she couldn't even form coherent words to tell him how much she wanted him to keep doing that. But he could understand her without words.
As he tongue fucked her his fingers surrounded her bundle of nerves, giving her the attention she needed. Feeling the heat growing inside her, Catherine wrapped both legs around Jackson's neck, holding him against her as her head fell back, losing any kind of control.
As always, Catherine's attitude gained him fervor and Jackson began to suck hard, pressing his tongue against her clit again and again and again, until she writhed against his mouth.
Her entire body arched as her orgasm exploded against her, unconsciously rubbing against his face.
He placed one last kiss on her swollen flesh, and leaned back, leaning on his feet, so he could look at her. She was a mess, her cheeks were red and her hair was disheveled, her eyes were shining and her lower lip had the soft mark of her teeth from having clenched her lips together to keep from screaming.
Catherine looked at him, catching his breath, kneeling in front of her, his face wet, and she lunged at him. She leaned over the desk at the same time he stood up and their lips met halfway in a sloppy, wet kiss. Her tongue moved clumsily against him as Jackson was still trying to catch his breath.
“I need you,” she told him, hugging him with her legs, barely leaving room to put her hand between them and touch his hardness. “I need you inside me…” she pleaded against his lips, as her soft hand moved over his shaft, making him sigh against her cheek.
He liked it when she became desperate for him, when she lost all structure and decorum, when she became simply a creature full of desire. And he would fulfill all her desires, always.
Catherine clung to him, thrusting her tongue into his lips, as Jackson held her leg against his hip and gently pushed his cock inside her. He slid through her wetness and filled her up in one long stroke. She moaned into his lips as he began to move. After so many years of knowing each other's bodies, Jackson began to move faster, pressing her leg tightly against his hip for support.
“You are the most beautiful thing in this fucking world,” he whispered against her lips as he used his free hand to cup her breast over her shirt. There was no time to take off all their clothes, but this had to be enough for now, at least until the night.
She placed a hand on his hand that was on her breast. “I love you,” she gasped against his lips, muffling his moans with breathless kisses. She pressed the heel of her shoe against his butt, to have him even closer. Jackson responded with harder thrusts, the desk beginning to shake violently beneath her as he thrust harder and faster into her, grunting each time she arched back. Catherine would never tire of the feeling of him inside her, of him filling every part of her being.
“Jackson,” she gasped, squeezing his neck and resting her forehead against his shoulder, she was close and from the way he moved, she knew he was too. She pressed her lips tightly as she felt his fingers touching her in sync with his cock.
“Come for me, Cat, again,” he growled, his breath hot against her ear. He whooped as he felt her inner muscles clench around him tightly as he continued to thrust.
Her mind went blank as her climax hit her, setting her entire being on fire. He continued to thrust for a moment longer, thrusting into her wet heat without meaning or gentleness as she trembled against him until his body too gave way and he collapsed against her. Both exhausted.
The room was silent, but no one moved, Catherine had her head resting on his shoulder while she hugged his neck, and he was still inside her, hugging her back. Both catching their breath. She raised her head and looked into his eyes, he smiled and reached up to move the strands of her hair that had fallen into her face. She was as beautiful as the day he met her.
“I realized something,” Catherine said quietly, placing a hand on Jackson's red cheek, his eyes were calm and bright. “We never close the door,” she smiled amused, leaning forward.
Jackson looked over at Catherine and realized that it was true, the door was ajar, and they hadn't been particularly quiet. "Is there someone?" he asked with amusement.
“I think River,” she responded, unable to stop herself from laughing. “He stayed to clean his desk.”
Jackson laughed. “Oh, he'll regret the day he chose the office below ours.”
****
Whenever Catherine went to an airport she remembered the movie Love Actually, that scene where people meet again and hug each other, and Hugh Grant says “ if you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling that you'll find that love actually is all around.” Jackson always laughed at her saying she was being stupid, but she liked to think it was true. She knows, firsthand, that it was love that saved her, Jackson's love brought her to life again, Ellie's love gave her purpose.
"Are you fine?" Jackson asked, standing next to her. They were both standing near the door waiting for their daughter's arrival. She was probably already on the other side, collecting her suitcases.
“Yes” she turned her head to look at him. “I'm a little cold,” she said with an accusatory look and moved her now bare legs. There was no time to change before going to the airport.
“Mmm why is that” he mocked and put an arm around her shoulders, pulled her towards him and kissed her head sweetly.
Catherine rested her head against his and hugged him, wrapping her arms around his stomach.
“I hope El doesn't leave for so long again,” she said, looking at the door that was still closed. “I don't think I can stand being so far from her again.”
Ellie didn't even live with them, she had a small apartment that she shared with June and her girlfriend, but at least when she was here they could see her often, talked on phone and seeing her on Skype were not the same.
“Yes, let her be smart in our country, I don't want her away,” Jackson agreed.
The two were silent for a moment, simply waiting. For some reason, when Catherine imagined her daughter walking out that door, she didn't see the 23-year-old she already was, but rather the 3-year-old who made up song lyrics, or the 6-year-old that had discovered Harry Potter and fought with Jackson over which wizard was better, Dumbledore or Gandalf. She still had a hard time thinking about her daughter as the adult she was, all she could see was the little girl with pigtails who danced and sang in the kitchen using a wooden spoon as a microphone while Jackson cooked and she washed the dishes.
“Have you ever thought how different our lives would be if we hadn't found this love?” Catherine asked, looking towards the door.
“I don't think I can imagine it,” Jackson said, thinking about a life without his girls was impossible, thinking about a life without her, without her smile, without her kisses in the morning, without her warning glances when he was doing something she disapproved of. “But it sounds lonely.”
“Yes,” she said sadly for a life she didn't have, for a version of her in another universe that didn't have this love.
Because she knows that this love saved them both. Catherine prevented the full weight of murdering Charles from consuming Jackson, prevented him from withdrawing into himself, consumed by guilt and hatred towards the man who had betrayed them. And Jackson prevented the pain from consuming Catherine, preventing her from living a life marked by grief for a man who had only used her.
“If there is a life after this and we are reborn into this shitty world…” Jackson said in a low, soft voice. “I promise to look for you and have the same daughter, I want to have you by my side in every possible universe.”
Catherine smiled and tilted her head back so she could look at him.
“Do you promise me?” she asked with amusement, he could be so silly sometimes.
“I promise,” he smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. He wants it to be her, in every timeline.
“Mum, Dad!” Ellie shouted, raising her hand to greet them, she almost rolled her eyes in amusement at seeing them kissing in the middle of the airport. Ellie had her short black hair tied in a small high ponytail with many hairs coming out of it, her bangs were a little messy, her blue eyes looked tired but the smile on her face was bright. Her short, flowered skirt was a little wrinkled from the plane, but her black sweater and jean jacket hid the real wrinkles on her white shirt underneath.
They quickly let go to walk towards her. Ellie dropped her green bag on the floor with a loud thump as her parents pounced on her.
Quickly she found herself squeezed by her parents, in a three-way hug.
“I missed you too,” she said with amusement as the seconds passed and neither of them let go of her.
Jackson put a hand on his daughter's face and looked at her for a second, as if it was the first time he had seen her. And he briefly thought of that little girl who came running to the door shouting “daddy” every time he returned after months, who jumped into his arms and told him how much she had missed him.
“It's me, dad, El” a mocking smile on his face. “I cut my bangs, nothing more.” Delivering her report the last few weeks was stressing her out too much, so one morning without being able to sleep she thought it would be interesting to cut her bangs. But she would never make decisions about her hair on a Tuesday morning again.
“You look just like your mother.” She had always been more similar to Catherine physically than to him, but the bangs made her more like her mother when she was young.
Ellie rolled her eyes. “What every woman wants to hear, thank you, old man”
“Oi,” Catherine complained but it was impossible to wipe the smile off her face at having her daughter back home.
“But you have my eyes,” Jackson added.
“I already know the story…” Ellie smiled, she had heard that story hundreds of times, since she could remember her father told her the same thing, that when he found out that her mother was pregnant he wished that she had her mother's eyes. “And now is when mum says that I have your eyes because you made her worry so much throughout the pregnancy that she only thought about you.”
“It's true,” Catherine added without letting go of her daughter, her arm still firm around her waist.
“You know genetics don't work like that, right?” she mocked.
Jackson leaned down to kiss the side of her head and Ellie closed her eyes leaning into him.
“We miss you too,” he murmured against her hair. He missed everything about her, her sarcastic comments, her verbosity when talking about things that she was passionate about, or also those that infuriate her. Her looks of complicity with him when they wanted to make fun of someone, the sparkle in her eyes when they were both thinking about the same thing, her laugh when she laughed at his jokes. The way in which, despite the passing of the years, she continued to look at him with admiration, like no one had ever looked at him.
"Can we go?" Ellie said, still locked between her parents. “June prepared a welcome party…”
“But…” Jackson began to say, the day before he had already bought everything to prepare her favorite dinner.
“After my dinner with you,” she finished, looking at her father. “Do you think I would miss dinner?” she smiled mockingly.
He simply shot her a look and bent down to pick up her bag that was on the floor.
“Tell me all about Italy, El.” Catherine squeezed her daughter's arm and began walking with her toward the exit, leaving Jackson with the bag and carry-on suitcase behind them.
“Go, dont care, leave the pack mule behind,” Jackson growled, walking behind them.
She smiled and stood leaning on her mother until he reached her side.
“I really missed you,” she said wistfully. “It almost makes me dont want to go to Turkey in the middle of the year”
"What?"
Ellie took a step back so she could look at the two of them.
“They offered me a scholarship in Turkey” she couldn't help the smile exploding on her face and her eyes shining with excitement. “The philosophy of the Renaissance has a lot to do with the fall of the Byzantine Empire!” she explained as if it were obvious to them. “In order to finish my research, I need to go to Turkey”
Catherine and Jackson shared a look. No matter how much they want to avoid it, how much they want to think of their daughter as a little girl, Eleanor was not little, nor was she a child, she was a young adult with plans, with an idea for her life. And they had to do what they always did, be there for her.
“We're proud of you,” Catherine said, reaching out to put her hand on her arm. "Always. With scholarship or without scholarship”
“Live your life, don't worry about us,” Jackson agreed, putting a hand on her shoulder.
Ellie looked at them with amusement, looking from one to the other. “I will be gone only for a month and in 5 months. You don't have to act like I'm leaving for the rest of my life” she smiled and putting an arm through each of her parents' arms she started walking towards the exit again.
“So, what news do you have from home?”
The three of them were in the car in silence, Ellie was sitting in the back seat, behind her mother's seat looking out the window. Shit she really had missed this fucking place, she thought.
“Tired?” Jackson asked, looking at her in the rearview mirror, it was strange for her to be so quiet.
Ellie didn't move but she smiled. “And starving,” she yawned. “Are you guys going to tell me about why you didn't have your mobiles and Mum's weird voicemail?”
Catherine shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat. “During dinner” Ellie knew what her parents did for a job and she also knew about Jackson's past, but she didn't want to tell her about last night's situation as if it were something exciting or worth mentioning.
“We saved the Muslim kid who was kidnapped,” Jackson told her anyway, ignoring Catherine's disapproving look.
"You are kidding me!" Ellie moved forward to poke her head between their seats. She had seen it on the news while packing her bags at the last minute, arriving at the airport before knowing how it had ended. "You did it?" She looked to her mother for confirmation.
“Yes,” Catherine stated. “But it wasn't as exciting as your father wants to make it out to be.”
“Speak for yourself, I was in a chase” he smiled.
“No fucking way! But are you all okay?” She asked immediately, looking from side to side, as if she had overlooked some injury to her parents. The excitement is quickly being replaced by worry.
“We're fine,” Catherine assured her with a reassuring smile.
“Incredible, I'll go away for a few days and you save the world,” she smiled, returning to her place, lying back in the seat.
“It wasn't the world.”
“It wasn't a few days.”
Catherine and Jackson said at the same time, respectively. Ellie laughed softly but didn't say anything else, her mobile started vibrating in her jacket pocket and it was June asking if she had set foot on land yet.
Jackson changed the radio station because he didn't like the song they were playing and just picked up the chorus of "Nothing's Gonna Stop us Now" by Starship.
Immediately, Ellie began singing the song quietly while talking to her friend on the phone, her foot moving gently up and down.
“And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever…” she murmured.
Jackson and Catherine shared an amused look as they listened to their daughter sing in the back seat, some things just never change.
I'm so glad I found you
I'm not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes, I will stay here with you
Take it to the good times
See it through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do.
Jackson put a hand on Catherine's thigh and she put a hand on his hand. When she stopped at a red light, he leaned in to kiss her and she kissed him back, brushing her nose with his, in a tender and intimate gesture.
Ellie watched them from the back with a smile and gently shook her head. When she was a child she believed it was normal to have parents who loved each other, parents who were affectionate with each other. She believed that growing up in a loving home was the norm, until she grew up and went out into the real world and realized that finding love was not as easy as her parents made it out to be, that love was difficult and strange, and it was more easy to break your heart than to love you with devotion and care. That's why, today, she appreciates even more having grown up with parents like hers, with a love like theirs.
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart