Chapter Text
The stories Merlin told the following nights were a little easier. Whilst it was hardly fun to talk of Morgana’s earliest brush with regicide, it was nice to remember her as the fiery young woman she had been. The story of the unicorn and the labyrinth was mostly familiar to Arthur at least, and he laughed at the memory of how easy it had been for him to trick Merlin.
Then, almost a week after returning from patrol, they got to one of the stories Merlin was dreading most.
“Do you remember when you were bitten by the questing beast?”
Arthur flinched, rubbing the scar of the bite mark.
“How could I forget? Even after all these years I have never felt pain like it. I have never been so sure I would die. Thank goodness Gaius found a cure.”
Merlin smiled weakly.
“He didn’t find a cure, there really is no cure.”
Arthur looked surprised.
“How did I survive then? Did you heal me? I thought you said you were bad at healing magic?”
Merlin took a deep breath.
“I am, and even if I could heal I wouldn’t have been able to do anything against a powerful magical venom. You were dying and the only magic that could save you was the Cup of Life which holds the power over life and death. However, the power wielded by the Cup can only work if balance is maintained. A life for a life.”
Arthur looked increasingly angry, like he could see where the story was going. However, he didn’t say anything so Merlin continued.
“When I knew there were no other options, I traveled to the Isle of the Blessed where I made a deal with the High Priestess, Nimueh, trading my life for yours.”
At this Arthur burst out of his chair.
“How could you Merlin. You had no right to decide to give your life for mine, as if your life is somehow worth less than mine.”
Merlin stood up to meet him.
“I had every right, it is my life and I will always choose to give it to save yours if needed. Not only is the life of a servant worthless compared to the life of a prince, but you are my closest friend and I could never let anything happen to you if I could stop it.”
Arthur paused to get his emotions in check. He could tell just looking at Merlin’s expression that he had no chance of changing his mind. Instead he put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder.
“Yes I am your friend, but you are mine too and I never want you to throw your life away for me. What would I do without you here to drag me out of bed in the morning.”
That got him a weak laugh at least, so he continued.
“You are obviously still here though, so what happened then? Did the beasts of hell find you too sinewy and spit you back out.”
This poor attempt at humour didn’t even get a chuckle.
“I was happy to give my life for yours but magic is never that straightforward. Instead of taking me it tried to take my mother.”
Arthur was stunned into silence.
“I couldn’t let her die so I went back to the Isle to try and convince Nimueh to honour our original bargain. Only Gaius got there first to try and bargain his life for mine. In the end there was no reasoning with Nimueh and Gaius was nearly gone so I did the only thing I could. I called lightning down from the sky to strike her, satisfying the balance with her death.”
The silence that followed that comment was thick enough to cut with a knife. Merlin tense with nerves about how Arthur would react to both the news that he had killed and the sheer power he had used to do so. Arthur on the other hand was numb, unable to reconcile the powerful and brutal warlock of the story with the Merlin he knew and loved.
Eventually it was Arthur who broke the silence.
“Thank you for telling me Merlin.”
If anything that made Merlin even more distressed.
“Is that really all you can say? Or are you just waiting till my back is turned to denounce me as a monster who uses dark magic?”
Arthur tried to restrain his rising anger.
“I don’t know what to think, Merlin. I can barely get my head around what you are telling me, so apologies if I can’t react exactly how you want me to.”
“In that case Sire, I will leave you to consider my fate. I will wake you in the morning, if I have not been arrested by then.”
He gave a sharp, short bow, in complete contrast to his usual low bows that were designed to convey either mockery or devotion. This was the bow of a nameless, faceless servant and it cut Arthur to his core, but he didn’t know how to fix this so he said nothing as Merlin turned to leave.
0===[]:::::::::::::::::::::::>
Arthur barely slept that night, turning everything Merlin had said over and over in his head. However he must have dropped off at some stage because the next thing he knew he was being woken by a frighteningly cheerful
“Rise and shine you lazy daisy!”
All Arthur could do was groan and the cling to his blanket as he felt it being pulled away. It seemed that Merlin wasn’t going to let their argument of the night before get in the way of being his usual annoying self.
The two of them went through their usual morning routine before being interrupted by an unwelcome knock at the door.
Agravaine entered and bowed.
“Good morning my lord, may I have a word?”
“Of course” Arthur said, though in reality he was rather cross at being kept from his breakfast.
“The matter I wish to discuss is a delicate one, perhaps it would be better if we spoke alone.”
Arthur successfully repressed the urge to roll his eyes before sending Merlin to polish his armour in preparation for training later.
After a pause, Agravaine finally got on with what he was there to say.
“We know there is a traitor among us, Sire”
Arthur sighed.
“I wish I could deny it.”
“We must consider all those around us, even those dearest to us. No one can be above suspicion.”
“Of course”
“So… could it be one of your knights?”
Arthur was shaking his head before the question had been asked.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Only the knights closest to me could possibly have known enough to betray me and I trust them all with my life.”
Agravaine didn’t look surprised by this pronouncement.
“Well I have suggested Gaius before but I can’t think he would betray you.”
“Nor can I. Gaius has been a loyal servant of Camelot my whole life. More importantly he has been my friend, supported and cared for me since before I can remember.”
“Quite, quite. Although… you are of course not the only child that Gaius cared for into adulthood. Did he not treat Morgana for most of her life? And of course, he did once practice magic. It isn’t hard to wonder what common ground they might have found.”
“I have always believed I can trust Gaius.”
Agravaine looked sheepish.
“Me too, me too. Perhaps I am being a little hasty. But it wouldn’t do any harm to ask him some questions though would it?”
This came as a surprise to Arthur.
“I am not sure there is any need?”
“And what if there is, Sire, but we are talking about your safety and the safety of the realm. Somebody is plotting against you and it is my duty to investigate every possibility, no matter how unlikely. I am sure Gaius himself would respect that.”
Arthur was increasingly disconcerted by the thought of Gaius as a traitor. He had never previously suspected Gaius of betraying him, but his uncle was right, surely there was no harm in asking questions?
“You may ask him questions but go no further and remember Gaius’s years of service. He deserves to be treated with respect no matter what.”
0===[]:::::::::::::::::::::::>
Agravaine acted fast, so later that day Arthur waited in the small throne room for Gaius to arrive as summoned. He was shocked to see him escorted in by guards, a frustrating sign of his uncle's continuing distrust.
Agravaine took the lead, as Arthur couldn’t bear to question Gaius in this manner.
“Please take a seat.”
Gaius sat but remained wary.
“Why have I been brought here in this manner?”
Agravaine smiled as he took a place across the council table from Gaius.
“As the King’s right hand man, one of my jobs is to ensure his safety and if that means asking questions, even of his most trusted servants, so be it. No one is to take offence at this.”
Gaius instead addressed himself to Arthur, standing back in the shadows.
“Have I done something wrong Sire?”
However it was Agravaine who answered.
“What is your attitude towards sorcery, Gaius?”
“It is against the law.”
“And do you agree with that?”
“I understand the reasons why.”
“That is not an answer to the question that I asked.”
Gaius looked from Arthur to Agravaine, clearly unsure how to handle the situation.
“Magic has done much harm to the kingdom and I understand why it is forbidden. However, magic also has much beauty.”
Agrevaine’s eyebrow shot up.
“So you disagree with the law on magic?”
“It is not my place to agree or disagree with the law. I have faith in our king and will abide by the law as he sets in.”
There was silence in the room at that pronouncement.
After a moment, Agravaine continued.
“And what are your thoughts about the witch Morgana?”
Again there was a pause.
“It sorrows me to see what she has become.”
“Surely you acknowledge that she is evil?”
“I know what she has done but I cannot think of her as truly evil. I remember too easily the child she was and the passionate young woman she grew up to be. Given all I know now, I blame myself for what she became.”
Agravaine looked shocked at that answer.
“So you support Morgana in her quest to return magic to Camelot?”
There is another pause.
“I could never support a movement that does not care about the lives that might be lost whilst achieving their goals”
There was a final pause as Agravaine sat back in his seat
“Thank you Gaius. It's been most informative.”
“Is that it?”
Agravaine's smile was sinister
“Yes… for today.”
With a final glance at Arthur, Gaius left the room.
Arthur sat down heavily on his throne.
“Was that really necessary?”
Agravaine looked taken aback.
“We are talking about your safety Sire. We cannot afford to be faint hearted. Besides, you saw with your own eyes, he was lying. He clearly still supports both magic and Morgana. Sympathies like that at the heart of Camelot pose a great threat to both your throne and your life.”
“We have no proof that he has betrayed Camelot.”
“Surely being sympathetic towards magic is betrayal enough.”
There was a pause as Arthur considered.
“I will not condemn a man for his beliefs alone. Unless there is proof that Gaius has supported my sister or other practitioners of dark magic, I refuse to believe that he is anything other than a loyal servant of Camelot.”
Agravaine looked frustrated
“Quite, Sire. Though I fear that if we keep investigating we will find that proof.
He left the meeting room with a bow, but Arthur stayed seated for quite some time. Several lines of thought were warring within his head, he knew the damage dark magic had done at Morgana’s hands, but he had also seen the beauty of Merlin’s magic. However, just last night Merlin had told him about using his lighting to kill and now Gaius seemed to be trying to justify Morgana’s actions. How could he protect his people from the threat of evil magic when the lines between evil and good were so unclear?
Resolving to speak to Gaius in the morning, Arthur retired to his chambers. For the first time in a long while Merlin did not attend him. Instead, Arthur changed into his night clothes alone, lost in thought.