Archive of Our Own ^beta

Veritas Ratio had very little close relationships with any other beings, and never has. It was difficult enough for Ratio to encounter someone he found bearably idiotic, much less anyone who would be an enjoyable presence in his life. He cared for his parents most of all, but no others had managed to even chip the plaster head he used to keep away from the world. He couldn’t bear to see idiots, and knew that they wouldn’t want to see him either. Life was not bad; in fact, for Ratio, it was thrilling. The truth could always be uncovered, knowledge was always just another layer underneath the surface, and curing ignorance was deeply satisfactory for him.

A strange man named Aventurine would surely not change anything.

Ratio sighed and stepped one foot in front of the other into his bathtub, sinking the rest of his body into the warm soapy water. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, hoping to clear his body and mind in one good exhale. That did not occur. It was as clouded and muddy as ever.

Damned gambler. With everything against you, why still, did you choose to bet it all? Ratio thought. His face wrinkled in agony despite himself. Did you desire this outcome? “Death?”

He put his hand up to his temple. It would be futile to attempt to read, as he would usually do to clear his mind. There were too many other words clogging his stream of consciousness. The best thing to do, Ratio decided, was address these thoughts and emotions as efficiently as possible, to be able to move on as soon as possible.

Aventurine. An enigma of intelligence and stupidity. Cunning and flirtation. Covering a pained grimace with that crazed smile. Ratio sunk further into the tub until his chin was just slightly submerged. The warm liquid felt as though it seeped into his skin and heated his bones from the chill, cold air.

Aventurine.

That idiot.

Ratio sat and thought. Continued to sweep the dirt from within his mind, cleaning out every speck of dust in sight. Addressing why it had been there in the first place. Ratio leaned his head forward and sighed, coming to an unfortunate conclusion.

I miss him.

I loved him.

Aventurine sauntered through the streets of some planet he couldn’t bother to remember the name of, smiling and drinking a local beverage he didn’t even ask what was called. It was non-alcoholic, he assumed. But even if it was, Aventurine couldn’t have cared less. Today was cause for celebration, after all.

The city he found himself in was covered in plant-like architecture and tropical birds of some sort. Gorgeous foliage that seemed to glow colors of green and pink. Dropping the drink, still within its ornate glass, into a trash can, Aventurine smiled and stared into the sky. He watched birds spin around each other and plunge down weightlessly, rearing upwards once again with graceful flaps of their wings. They danced together in the sky and coasted in the wind. 

It was good to know freedom.

There was no telling what Aventurine would do, for he himself had no plans past this point. He bet it all on “Death,” hoping to be free of his dangerously fragile station in the IPC, and he won. Now, with no assignment, no stakes, and no one controlling him, everything seemed so much more beautiful. Colors, more vibrant. Drinks sweeter, stronger, or more… his own. That he could finally swallow food for his own stomach, not to feed some parasite residing within.

Some time or days later, it didn’t seem to matter, he sat on a short stump near a cliff and overlooked the cities down below, contemplating himself and the universe. He sighed deeply, feeling satisfied and perhaps… a bit directionless. A beetle landed on his knee. Aventurine smiled. Laughed.

“Oh you gorgeous thing, look at those colors.” Aventurine nudged the bug with his pointer finger until it rested there instead, and he held it up to the light to take a closer look. Its iridescent exoskeleton caught purple, blue, and green in the sunlight. When it adjusted its wings, it appeared to have even brighter circles of colors patterned within.

“What are you even up to, little bug…” Aventurine looked straight into the beetle’s beady little eyes, chuckling to himself. “You don’t have a plan, do you? We’re kind of the same that way. Just little bugs aimlessly flying around and landing wherever looks most comfortable.”

The beetle did not respond, just twitched its antennae slightly.

“Isn’t it fun? You don’t answer to anyone.”

The beetle must’ve agreed, even if it hadn’t indicated having understood.

Aventurine snapped a picture of the bug, catching it with its wings out and beautiful circular patterns shown. He mindlessly navigated to his contacts, planning on sharing the photo, but he found them empty, recalling to himself that he’d gotten rid of his old phone. His new one lacked the numbers of his old friends.

After his “death” and subsequent awakening from the dormant space in the dreamscape he’d occupied, Aventurine had chosen to disappear entirely from reality as well. If the IPC ever found him and addressed his existence, his plan was to argue that he’d served his long-awaited sentencing to “death” and could no longer be held to any previous deal. But this came with disappearing to the few coworkers he could tolerate. Topaz, mainly. She was fun, maybe too warm-hearted for the capitalist scum they worked for, but she’d seemed to make it work. Aventurine respected that. The astral express crew, even, were interesting “friends” to get along with while in Penacony. And Ratio, the ever eccentric mundanite. 

Aventurine had transferred all the data he needed from his old phone, but the contacts were collecting dust in an unorganized plain text file that he hadn’t bothered to open or format to make it usable. He figured, why would I take the gamble of revealing my escape to anyone when there’s nothing to gain ?

But with neither risk nor reward anywhere else in sight…

Aventurine stared at the photograph of the bug. He leaned forward, sighing, and heard the beetle fly off somewhere. I would’ve sent this to Ratio. Made a clever joke about peacocks. He watched his white screen slowly dim then turn off.

“Actually,” he began to grin, “what about a small, low-stakes gamble? Hmm? I bet that he knows the name of this bug… and I wager… if he doesn’t, I’ll tell him it’s me.” Aventurine smiled cockily. It’s hard to break a habit, and especially when one has nothing better to do. Aventurine quickly sifted through his old data to retrieve Ratio’s number, and set up a new contact.

Conversation with Veritas

[ Photo sent ]

[ Veritas is typing… ]

Who is this?

Doctor Ratio, can you tell me the name of this bug?

[ Seen ]

Aventurine waited and watched the screen, pouting. C’mon, Ratio. It’s a student of yours, just help them out. Don’t you love to cure ignorance? Aventurine waited, thinking that perhaps he’d just been looking for the name of the bug. But no response still. A few minutes later, Aventurine begane scowling. Just can’t bother? Oh please.

The gambler wasn’t the type to overthink too much. So when he first thought, I’ll surprise him , deviously grinning, he didn’t look back. And technically, he’d lost the bet anyways. He snapped a quick photo of himself next to a tree with the same type of bug, wearing that scheming smile of his.

Conversation with Veritas

[ Photo sent ]

Doctooorrr….

Aventurine?

Where are you.

[ Veritas is calling you ]

Aventurine grins and declines the call.

[ Missed call ]

[ Missed call ]

Pick up the phone.

[ Missed call ]

You can’t type out the name of the beetle?

Does the knowledgeable doctor not know it?

You survived “death.”

I did! Good job keeping up.

[ Veritas is typing… ]

Aventurine watched the typing appear, disappear, then reappear. Sighing and deciding not to be too cruel, Aventurine decided to do something impulsive.

[ Location sent ]

I’ll be there in twelve system hours. Don’t move.

He smiled and chuckled to himself, storing his phone away in the pocket of his jacket. But the smile faded slowly as he realized what would have to come next. He’d have to face Ratio, who betrayed him and left him for dead. Sure, it was fun to mess with an old friend. But seeing him again? Would Ratio give him away to the IPC? Or…

Aventurine scowled, thinking, hesitating. The note he gave me might’ve helped… but whose to know whether Ratio just wanted to prove he was smarter than me. If that betrayal was to go with my plan, or for whatever Sunday offered him. He shook his head and decided. If that bastard wants to meet me, good. Let’s see just where the lies end and the truth begins. 

Ratio had been relaxing still in his tub when he’d gotten a text from an unknown number with a photo of a bug. Most do not have his personal number and whoever it was was clearly not important enough to interrupt his cleansing. Obviously, he knew the species and the planet the bug originated from. At any other time, he would’ve just typed it out and concisely cleansed a little ignorance. But consumed with his own thoughts and feelings, there was hardly time to address the concerns of some student who managed to find his personal number. They could go through the proper format to send any questions or concerns. And why would they even consult Ratio about this? There are plenty of other resources if they’re looking for a certain species’ information.

But before he could put his phone down and continue to wallow in frustration, he saw the second image, containing the likeness of the Sigonian he so missed. His striking eyes and unmistakable grin. Aventurine .

That insane and idiotic gambler had miraculously made it. Ratio had thought, hoped, that with his luck he’d somehow come out against all odds, but hadn’t dreamed to assume.

Now he knew where he was. Alive, next to the Iridescent Hourmil Beetle on the planet Dre’an. Ratio was grateful that, out of whatever twisted game Aventurine had decided to play, he’d involved notifying Ratio of his location, and that this planet was not so far away.

Aeons, Ratio couldn’t stand him. The idiot . It was a shame he’d developed romantic feelings towards such a sly and scheming bastard. Then again, said bastard was lucky enough to survive; perhaps Ratio should count himself fortunate as well. 

In no more than the promised twelve system hours, Ratio arrived on the planet. It took around half a system hour after to transport directly to the specific location that Aventurine had sent. It was a beautiful scene, a clearing hidden between rows of orange and yellow leaves, overlooking a dense city just in the distance. Ratio stepped through foliage and saw Aventurine.

Laying in a hammock, rocking leisurely side to side, was the gambler. He donned attire not dissimilar to his usual peacock-esque outfit, but more casual while retaining the obscene visage of wealth all his attire had. Ratio observed his dark blazer and hair, not seeing much of his face as he faced the cliffside and gazed into the sky with the protection of his red tinted glasses. The two suns were unbearably bright. He hadn’t looked Ratio’s way, just sat there swinging, lounging back. Aventurine was more free than he’d ever seemed before. Different, in a spectacular way. Ratio found his eyes watering. 

The logical Veritas Ratio was well adjusted, well aware of his emotions and when or why they would occur. Attachments, to his parents, to his bathtub, to his books and statues and rubber ducks. He would recognize his hubris and faults for the sake of becoming better and acquiring more knowledge. Understood his irrational frustration with idiotic behavior he could do nothing to fix. Admitted his attraction to Aventurine.

So when tears slipped down his face upon seeing a doomed Sigonian finally free, he did not deny it. He simply summoned his plaster bust upon his face, for the benefit of both parties. It would just complicate the interaction for the both of them.

“Doctor, you made it.” Ratio heard the smile in Aventurine’s voice.

Ratio remained silent as he approached, then faced the hammock, now getting a better view of Aventurine, whose face fell when he looked at Ratio. Grimacing, he slid up and out of the hammock to stand and face Ratio. He took off his sunglasses, stowed them in a pocket, and just stared expectantly. Waiting. Ratio did not reciprocate the gesture.

“You’re alive.” Ratio’s voice betrayed none of his internal emotion. Acting was not Ratio’s strong suit, so he found it fortunate that in this scenario, his lack of emotional tone would serve him well. Aventurine seemed somehow disappointed, sighing and chuckling before responding.

“Indeed I am. I’d say thanks to your note, but it was your betrayal that got me in that whole mess to begin with.”

Ratio flinched. “Did you expect me to defy your plan merely for the sake of appearing altruistic to that man ?”

Aventurine scoffed. “My plan would’ve worked whether you left me out to die or not.”

“Do you realize the position you had left me in?” Ratio spat, feeling suddenly defensive. How could Aventurine not know? “There was hardly a choice. If I hadn’t gone along, Sunday wouldn’t trust you, continue to have suspicions of your scheming. If I had, I would effectively lead you to your own self-imposed destruction . You would lose your trust in me. Not that you ever had any to begin with.” Ratio turned away and faced the cliffside, looking off into the distance. “You survived. Your plan worked, what more did you expect from me?”

Aventurine chuckled darkly and opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Ratio interjected.

“I did not come here to argue. Tell me, gambler, what is your plan now? Free from the IPC, you have no further responsibilities to anything. What now, will you choose to spend your life doing?” Aventurine hesitated slightly, then smiled. Ratio squinted his eyes under the plaster, doubting it was genuine at all. 

“Well, nothing, if all goes well. If the Intelligentsia mundanite doesn’t report back to the corporation that their dead stoneheart has been resurrected.”

Ratio watched his face silently.

Aventurine grinned. “You wouldn’t, would you?” he mocked.

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answers to, gambler."

“Oh, but the thing is, I don’t know , doc.” Aventurine stepped forward confrontationally. “Maybe before I experienced “death” we could’ve talked about trust . But let’s both be truthful for once, Veritas . You don’t even trust me with your face.” Ratio inhaled slightly as Aventurine further encroached on his space. He caressed the statue head and Ratio tensed. “I can’t count on you not ratting me out to the IPC.”

“I won’t.”

“Prove it,” Aventurine provoked, gripping the statue head tighter in his palm and tugging it closer to himself. Ratio said nothing, just stared forward into Aventurine’s eyes, knowing that Aventurine was staring back at marble.

Aventurine relented, sighing and letting go. “Whatever. Not like I can do anything about it if you decide to throw me to the sharks.” Aventurine sauntered a few steps and settled on an upturned log, resting back on his hands and facing the breeze. With a sigh, he asked, “What do you want, anyway?” He was relaxed, seemingly not a care in the world. Deeply and surprisingly free. Seeing that… The feeling it evoked continued to wretch at Ratio’s stomach.

He remained silent, watching as a dragonfly buzzed past both of them quickly.

“Iridescent Hourmil Beetle.”

“What?” Aventurine turned and looked at Ratio questioningly.

“That’s what it’s called.”

Aventurine scoffed and began to chuckle. He continued to laugh more and more heartily, truthfully. And yet, there was a bitterness within it.

“Thanks. Iridescent Hourmil Beetle. I’m sure that information will come to good use.”

“It’s also colloquially known as the peacock bug. I’m sure that is amusing to you.”

“Very. But cut to the chase, Ratio. Why are you here .” Aventurine’s smile dropped and pulled Ratio’s heart down with it. He just stared, waiting for an answer.

Ratio swallowed and scorned.

“...Is it so difficult for you to fathom that a friend might be relieved to know you’re alive? Perhaps it’s too much a burden to attempt to explain to an idiotic gambler , but not everything is motivated by selfishness.”

Aventurine faltered, scoffing and shaking his head. “I can fathom anything, Ratio. But realistically, about you …” he laughed. “You’re here to boost your own ego. Or study a bug.” Aventurine squashed one underneath his heel. “Not to check in on me.”

Ratio scowled.

“I would make some snide comment about you being brave to show your face here, but…” Aventurine gestured once again to his mask, leaving a long beat of silence for what was implied. “Just leave.”

“You insufferable moron. Did you not ask me to be here?”

“The only thing I asked for was the name of a bug. So you can go now,” Aventurine said, frustrating Ratio further. What did he expect? he thought, and what in the world is he upset at me for? I can’t understand what he’s thinking . He squinted at Aventurine’s face, now lacking its facetious smile. Why do you frown?

“You cannot command me to do anything,” Ratio settled on saying, stubborn as ever.

They then waited in tense silence for one or the other to make a move. Say something that changed the tone of this interaction, a joke or a tease that allowed them to continue as normal. If it was any other time, Ratio was likely to actually have gone, which is why Aventurine was left perplexed by this break in the pattern. Ratio just stood there. Aventurine sighed.

“...What do you want, Ratio?” he said.

“Are you so dull you can’t figure it out for yourself? Or do your insecurities run so deep to override any and all logic you might’ve once had?” Ratio said between gritted teeth.

Aventurine glared. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“How can you be so ignorant? Can you not even attempt to run through the possibilities as to why I’m here? Deduce which would be most probable.” Though he really couldn’t stand having to explain himself, Ratio began to doubt whether it was out of frustration or fear.

“Speak plainly, doctor,” Aventurine said.

Ratio fumed and tensed. “Fine. If you need it so crassly stated, I’ll oblige. I’ll make it abundantly clear I am not here for anything , Aventurine. I came, out of my own volition, to check on you , the person I love , out of purely illogical, sentimental reasoning. If my explicit phrasing is not enough to get through your thick skull, perhaps I should reconsider what kind of idiot I develop attachments to.”

Aventurine startled and looked at Ratio. Dammit all , Veritas thought, feeling a hot tear streak down his face again. He remained thankful he chose to wear his statue head. He frowned to think that his words were something of a… confession . That this changed things for some people. Made a relationship different by the arbitrary societal rules they all abided by. That with a “confession,” there was the possibility of “rejection.” Ratio looked to Aventurine’s expression to gauge his reaction. It was as stone cold as the marble face he wore himself.

“Look me in the eyes when you say it,” Aventurine said, his hands trembling ever so slightly. He stood up from the log and crossed his arms, taking just one step forward.

“Which part?” Ratio asked, just to be annoying.

“That you love me.” Aventurine stated it simply, bitterly. It was almost more frustrating that it sounded devoid of meaning, full of doubt and contempt instead.

Ratio scoffed. “It would be entirely useless to repeat anything we both already understand is true,” he said, though he knew that Aventurine wasn’t convinced.

Aventurine glared. “Humor me,” he insisted.

Trembling a bit himself, Ratio glanced away, then back to Aventurine’s intense expression. He wanted to comply with his demands. But he felt both dried tears upon his face and on top of that, new drops falling down. With hesitation, Ratio took off the statue head. Aventurine’s breath caught, having seen both the tears and the expression on Ratio’s face.

“I love you. Satisfied?”

Another moment passed, where Aventurine watched. He hesitated, seemingly processing. Ratio sighed harshly.

“If you still don’t believe me, I have nothing more to prove. Should your insecurities continue to cloud your judgment, let that be your own choice.”

“You really love me, oh great intellectual?” Aventurine teased, beginning to smile seemingly on accident.

Ratio rolled his eyes. “Please,” he said harshly and perhaps a bit shy.

“Why?” Aventurine prompted, pleased and seemingly satisfied with the statement, but not with the reasoning, Ratio sighed and decided to explain. Tears continued down his face as an overflow of emotion, present nowhere else in his body language, but he paid it no mind.

“You, my dear Sigonian, are used to people using you and you doing the same to them in turn. But I do not play your games. I see right through your flamboyant facade, gambler. Your cunning and charm alongside the pain and grief you feel. You are a fascinating creature that I’ve spent a long period of time with. Somehow you’re the most intelligent and most idiotic person I’ve grown close to. The most frustrating and most interesting. 

“I know you, deeply. Is that not the nature of human connection? The emotions we feel when we truly know another person, spend this much time thinking about them and working with them?

“Anyone in my situation would develop such an attachment.” Ratio ended his thought and considered taking a moment to clear the tears from his face, deciding against it. Such a display would be too pitiful.

“Hmph,” Aventurine chuckled. The smile appeared to reach his eyes for once, and he shook his head. He looked surprised, somehow. As if this wasn’t the explanation he’d thought he’d get. Whatever he had expected, it was beyond Ratio. After a moment, he spoke again. “Sure. Why not.”

Ratio did a double-take and raised an eyebrow at Aventurine. “ Why not? ”

“What do you want me to say, love you too, doc ? I thought it would be useless to repeat something we both know is true .”

Ratio hesitated once more.

“Don’t believe me?” He teased.

“Truthfully, no, I do not,” Ratio admitted.

“I love you,” Aventurine simply stated, with an unchanged expression. It was baffling.

Just to be annoying, Ratio asked, “Why?”

Aventurine laughed. “Because you’re both an idiot and a genius. An egotistical, yet kind, little annoying bastard with an intellectual savior complex. A fascinating creature. Anyone would get attached, right? Not to mention that gorgeous face of yours you so like hiding.”

Ratio furrowed his brow and assessed Aventurine’s expression. It was as weightless and unmasked as he’d ever seen the gambler look before. Softer and more content. Playful without scheming. A sense of satisfaction settled softly into Ratio’s chest. He had his doubts about Aventurine’s words, suspected that the comment on Ratio’s appearance was a part of a coping mechanism, and was just as skeptical about the truthfulness of the rest. But the part of Ratio that was egotistical and smug won out, working alongside the hopefulness that Ratio felt clouding his vision. But he had decided honestly not to care about that much.

“Well, good.” Ratio stated, turning his chin up.

Aventurine crossed his arms and exhaled through his nose in a slight snicker. Another moment passed where they both stood still and breathing. They looked at each other, waiting for one or the other to make a move. Neither did. Aventurine scoffed.

“That’s it?” Aventurine questioned. “I’ll be honest, doctor, I thought a love confession might come with flowers or chocolates or something. An invite to a quiet, candlelit dinner. Something romantic. You’d dip me down at the waist and kiss me passionately as the suns set in the sky.” He snickered. It was near the middle of the day, bright and loud with the sounds of bugs and birds chirping in the forest.

“If you expect nonsensical gestures to create a facetious display of intimacy, I recommend deciding now and informing me that you no longer wish to pursue a relationship with me.”

Aventurine put his hands up in mocking defense. “Jeez, alright. I guess I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up… Can’t expect to be charmed or wooed in this Amber Era.”

Ratio rolled his eyes. “Don’t make me laugh, gambler. If I were satisfied with performances rather than truth , I would’ve become an actor.”

Aventurine took this with good humor, smiling fondly at the doctor. “Right. And I would have long played you for all your money and left you on the stage.” Aventurine stepped closer and cupped the side of Ratio’s face gently. “But as for facetious displays of intimacy… you wouldn’t spare me a kiss, would you?”

Ratio breathed and leaned down slightly, analyzing the face of the Sigonian up close. Endeared by the content look in his eyes, Ratio found his heart beating more quickly and his breaths more shallow. 

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answers to.”

Aventurine chuckled. “Right.”

Ratio was the one who closed the distance between them to press their lips together. A foreign sensation, but not an unwelcome one. Ratio found that another person’s skin felt slightly softer than he would’ve thought. As far as social conventions go, not a bad way to express romantic desire , he decided, holding Aventurine’s face with both hands and pressing his body further into Aventurine’s.

A moment later, Aventurine parted from Ratio with a contented sigh. “Not bad, doctor,” he smiled.

Ratio glared. “Please. As if intimacy is something to get good marks on. Evaluating relationships and love with levels of goodness defeats the purpose of two individuals sharing and expressing desire without judgment. Such ideas of doing well at loving a partner only fester insecurity and decrease the value of any shared connection. Don’t be stupid.”

Aventurie laughed heartily and rested his arms around Ratio’s waist. “C’mon, I wasn’t thinking that deep.”

“Precisely your problem. A lack of thinking.” Ratio kissed Aventurine again.

They traveled together to a luxury hotel on Dre’an. Aventurine grabbed Ratio’s hand somewhere along the way, and disputed Ratio’s objections by calling it a meaningful display of intimacy, because you’re basically giving up one of your most valuable tools for survival, your hand, to revel in the safety of a relationship. Isn’t that so inherently romantic, doc? He reluctantly admitted that Aventurine had quickly learned the way the gears in his mind spun related to intimacy, and grumbled to himself about manipulation quietly. But he left his hand in Aventurine’s.

Aventurine had asked the hotel staff what the most luxurious suite was, and if it came with a bathtub. Ratio asked if it also came with room service. When the attendant answered both questions with yes , Aventurine booked a room for the night. 

Aventurine’s initial idea was that they’d have a night of hot-n’-steamy sex to codify their relationship, but when they entered the room, he felt discomfort deep in his gut. Something like… fear, or shame. That was, until Ratio, without hesitation or a moment’s rest, immediately put on a bath with the bathroom door open, stripped down efficiently, and just plopped down to sit in it, relaxing. It was anticlimactic, but Aventurine almost felt relieved. If he looked deeper into it, it might’ve been something like previous trauma coming to light. But he didn’t, just giggled at how in character it was that Ratio wouldn’t understand or care about the implications of getting a hotel room together.

Ratio sighed and sunk into the water. Aventurine had heard him talk about his fondness for baths, but seeing was an entirely different thing. It was cute. But it got boring after a while. Aventurine even passed the time by checking his phone and reading market news. But that entertained him little compared to the enigmatic doctor.

Aventurine waltzed up to the edge of the tub, sat down next to it and pouted, leaning an arm on the side. He rested his chin on his hand. “Ratio, are you ignoring me?”

He sighed again. Aeons, was the man perpetually tired of his shit? “I am relaxing. Perhaps that notion is foreign to you.”

“C’mon, didn’t we just confess our love for each other? Shouldn’t we be… doing something?” Aventurine teased, despite the nagging regret that hit him immediately afterward, he continued to grin.

“I am relaxing,” Ratio insisted.

Aventurine smirked and tilted his head to one side. “I can relax with you .”

Ratio closed his eyes and crossed his arms where they sat halfway submerged. “If you’re implying something, banish it from your mind. I traveled twelve and a half system hours from the planet I was on to meet you here. Whatever you’re suggesting, I have no energy for it.”

Aventurine chuckled and leaned closer to Ratio’s face. “Well, if you’re just tired, I can do all the work…”

Ratio opened his eyes and faced Aventurine. “No.”

Aventurine acted offended. “Whatever do you mean? I just meant I can be the one to call room service for some food. What were you implying?” He teased, ignoring the sting in his chest at rejection.

“Drop the act.” Ratio glared, not just teasingly, but truly glared. Aventurine felt the pit in his stomach continue to deepen. What was he doing? Why was he doing this to himself? After everything?

Aventurine huffed, leaned back out of the tub and crossed his arms. He stopped smirking. “Look, if you don’t want to have sex with me just say it outright,” he said. “But I really don’t get it. If you didn’t want me, why go through all this confessional nonsense about love and relationships?” Aventurine realized halfway through his sentence that he was being pathetically insecure, but somehow neglected to stop himself before the sentence finished. He winced at himself.

Ratio stood up and dried off with a towel. He was nude, but all Aventurine could look at was his facial expression, his blank, inscrutable face. Ratio clothed himself and walked to the other room and sat on the bed. Aventurine followed and stood a few feet apart.

“Must all romantic endeavors include sex to you?” Ratio crossed his arms and stared at Aventurine from his seated position. He sighed. “I am not entirely opposed to the idea of intercourse with you. But to view it as necessary for a relationship is foolish. If you were anyone else my answer would be no , indefinitely.”

“So I’m special ? Can’t resist my pretty face?” Aventurine joked.

Ratio scowled again. “Your appearance meant nothing to me until I developed romantic feelings. Like I said, if you were anyone else-”

Aventurine huffed. “So you’re calling me ugly now?” Aventurine was definitely not as vain as Ratio, but it still sort of hurt.

“Stop allowing yourself to play into your own insecurities. You are smarter than this.”

Aventurine waited and glared without responding. He knew he was being seen through, but demanded an answer anyway with his silence.

With another sigh, Ratio continued. “You are beautiful, obviously. Such facts go unsaid. But I don’t have sex with beautiful people. Or anyone, for that matter.”

Aventurine processes and stops his mouth halfway into starting a retort. Wait. Like … Shit.

“I abandon all social conventions that do not have their rightful place in society. Typical romantic or sexual standards fall into this category. I’m aware that sex is something people do when they love each other, yet it’s not something I have ever been interested in in the past. Excuse me if it’s not the first thing I want to try after an exhausting interplanetary trip.”

Aventurine felt guilty, projecting his own insecurities started this. He wished he could leave, or fall into Ratio’s arms, or take a shot. But on the bright side, he thought, at least it wasn’t about him or some kind of failure on his part. He exhaled and deflated onto a nearby armchair. How lucky he was that it was comfortable. Aeons bless expensive hotel suites.

Ratio seemed to glance at him and consider. “...Nevertheless I also don’t reject that kind of physical connection entirely when it comes to you.”

“...I’m sorry for assuming,” Aventurine reluctantly admitted, feeling slightly lighter now that he could voice it, and with the knowledge that there probably wouldn’t never be something more. It was embarrassing to have gotten so carried away in his own expectations, then to let the unexpected wretch his mood so drastically. But Aventurine thought, perhaps this was better. Sets the expectations nicely for what’s to come. The straightforward truth was all he wanted from the doctor, one of the reasons he adored him, and one of the reasons Ratio tended to strike a nerve.

Ratio frowned and waited a few breaths before speaking. “Ugh, this mood is horrid. And why are you stationed so far away? Sit here,” Ratio demanded, vaguely gesturing to the spot on the bed next to him.

Aventurine smiled weakly, got up, and swiftly lounged on his side on the bed. He grabbed a pillow to ball up under his arms and rest on top, then rotated to face Ratio. He sighed and stretched out his legs.

“I only applied for two days of leave, and half of one of them was just getting here. Respites from endless idiocy only come so often, I’d like to make the most of this time,” Veritas said. He watched Aventurine with what could only be described as a fond gaze, comedically piercing through the rest of his coldly stoic face . 

“Ooh, so this is a romantic getaway.”

Ratio rolled his eyes.

“Let me order some dessert,” Aventurine teased, genuinely reaching for the hotel phone to call room service.

Ratio just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “If you must.”

“Actually, what’s your favorite kind of chocolate, Doctor? I have so much to learn about you and your food tastes.”

“...Dark chocolate with caramel.”

“Ooo. I myself am more of an extra dark kind of guy, especially on strawberries, mm.” Aventurine licked his lips cartoonishly to provoke Ratio. It worked, for he heard a deep sigh just as exaggerated as his motion accompanied by a mumble of how cliche . He chuckled to himself while dialing on the phone and heard the slightest huff of laughter come from Ratio’s general direction. He counted that as a win. Jokingly provoking the doctors was one of his favorite pastimes before they admitted feelings for one another, and he wouldn’t let up now. He felt the tension within him ease as he fell into the familiar dynamic between them. How strange, he’d thought, that it didn’t feel like anything had changed. And yet, it felt like love all the same.

As Aventurine ordered, he felt Veritas slide up behind him, rest his chin on Aventurine’s shoulder, and put a hand in his hair. It was unbearably cute, and just as surprising. Aventurine finished ordering some sweets, along with a few drinks, and stretched his arm backwards to put a hand on Ratio’s head.

“Doctor, are you the cuddle-y type?” Aventurine teased.

Ratio just ignored him and began running his fingers through Aventurine’s hair, playing with it. Aventurine rolled over to face him and smirked.

“Is that a yes?”

“Do you ever shut up?”

“You’ll have to make me~” Aventurine started, being stopped almost immediately at the end of his phrase with a hand slapped unceremoniously across his mouth. He glared at Ratio, who had a mischievous glint in his eyes. Aventurine became thrilled, wanting immediately to get back at him, so he gave the wettest, most disgusting lick to Ratio’s palm he could muster.

“Eugh!” He recoiled and wiped his hand on his pants.

“You know that’s not what I meant. I meant make me shut up by kissing me ,” Aventurine spelled out, purposefully talking down to the professor and being ridiculously provocative just for the thrill of it.

It just earned a greater glare.

Aventurine cackled and snuggled into the bed, getting comfortable. Ratio used this as an opportunity to move closer and stick his head into the crook of the gambler’s neck and wrap his arms around his partner. Caught slightly off guard (and heart melting into pieces), Aventurine hugged back instinctively. It felt awkward, he thought, and yet so comfortable at the same time.

His experience with sex was nothing like Ratio’s. At first… he didn’t have much of a choice regarding who, when, or whether he was even attracted to them. And then, as he’d gained ranks in the IPC, he dabbled in one-night stands or what one might call “fuck-buddies.” If it wasn’t foreplay or sex, he didn’t even let them touch him, not that most of them had wanted to try. There was no cuddling or talking or bonding, and that was the way he’d liked it.

But facing the current situation, Aventurine realized that he’d confessed his affection for the man he was embracing, and not even just that, but love . Because he did, for how stupid and intelligent Ratio was. He loved him. This was going to be so utterly different from any interaction he’d had with lovers before, and Aventurine relished in that. Wondered what was next for them. If, when Ratio went back to teaching his classes, Aventurine would go with him. Pick up something to do around there and annoy Ratio when he was done with work. Start cluttering up his house with things of his own.

Aventurine drifted back to reality when Veritas tightened his grip on his waist. Before he could make an insensitive joke about his plan being to strangle him like this all along, Ratio spoke.

“I had no idea whether you’d make it out alive or not. How idiotic, to dive blindly into dangerously unknown waters expecting everything to end nicely. How fortunate of you to have been right. You’re lucky you survived,” Ratio hissed, still clutching onto him. 

Aventurine stayed quiet. He had difficulty reading this, because of course Ratio would call him an idiot and pester him, that was all a part of the game they played with each other. But, with the context of Ratio holding him, Aventurine almost wanted to speculate that it meant something more. But he wouldn’t dare. Even if he knew cognitively that the man in his arms spoke of love to him, some roadblock stood in the way of thinking he actually cared about Aventurine’s wellbeing. 

“You thrive on the risk, the thrill of uncertainty, but I do not find the same comfort in it,” Ratio said. “Despite all that is unknown in the universe, the truth remains. It is only the matter of who will uncover it. I did not enjoy being the one waiting in limbo for you to be the one testing theories,” Ratio sighed.

Aventurine opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated just long enough for Ratio to continue.

“You will never be so stupid again, understood?” Ratio phrased it as a command, but Aventurine could feel his unsteady breaths rise and fall against his own chest.

“Of course,” he’d said. Who was he to even try to refuse?

“Good.”

Veritas leaned up and kissed his cheek before settling back into place. It made Aventurine’s heart beat faster than any pickup-line or downright sexual act ever had. It was so exciting to explore this kind of unknown. Small little thrills of progress in their relationship, and it hadn’t been more than half a day. Aventurine wondered if he could wager on this somehow, write down his bet on when they’d properly make out and if he wins, take one of Ratio’s golden statues of himself or something. Make Ratio buy him a new watch or perfumes. He smirked.

A soft knock at the door startled them both, and Ratio groaned.

“Room service. Drinks and desserts for Mr. Aventurine?”

Veritas shoved him away and buried himself into the blankets. “ You’re getting it.”

Aventurine gasped, affronted. “One day into a relationship and you already make your poor partner fetch things for you? Maybe I should take this opportunity to run.” He lounged on one arm and dramatically put a hand over his mouth in shock. Ratio just rolled his eyes and continued to relax into the all-too-comfortable mattress.

“ Veritas …”

“Go get it,” he said sternly.

“Aww, You’re so cute like this. So demanding .”

Another set of soft knocks comes from the door. “Room service. Drinks and desserts for Mr Aventurine,” the attendant said, sounding a little more shy this time. Aventurine groaned and dragged his legs off of the bed to go fetch it. He smiled, gave the server a hefty tip, and shut the door before they had more than a moment to gasp and gawk at the money.

Aventurine put the treats down and brought the platter of both rare and exotic chocolates over to the nightstand on the side that Ratio was closer to.

Feeling bold, Aventurine bit one of the caramel dark chocolate pieces between his teeth and saddled up to Veritas, inviting him to eat it from his mouth. Not taking the bait, he lazily picked it from Aventurine’s mouth and plopped it in his own casually. Aventurine frowned playfully.

“Mm,” Ratio relished. “How much did these cost?”

“Like sixty-thousand credits or something, I don’t know.” Aventurine waved the question off and took a bite of, yes he really ordered some, chocolate strawberries. He hummed in satisfaction. “Tastes pretty good.”

Ratio mindlessly consumed more, refused the drinks (apparently he preferred water or the occasional glass of juice or wine), and drifted closer to sleep. Aventurine watched the doctor slowly descend into unconsciousness while they carried out a trivial conversation about what planet the best chocolates were made on or something. He stifled his laughter as Veritas’ responses became increasingly more hums and grunts and less actual words. Soon enough, he was fully asleep.

“I guess it really was a tiring trip. Were you worried about me?” Aventurine half-whispered, smiling and playing with Veritas’ hair. He watches Ratio’s chest rise and fall slowly with a serene fondness unlike anything he’d experienced before. After eating some cake and saving the rest of the treats for when they could enjoy them together, Aventurine decided to turn off the lights and lay with Ratio.

He cupped the side of his face and stroked his thumb across Ratio’s cheek gently. Aeons, he was beautiful. And so vain. This man’s hair and skincare routine must be hours long for how unblemished he was. So adorably self absorbed, and almost rightfully so, with the intellect and credentials to back any claim he’d make. Aventurine felt, in a way, angry that this perfect man with an ego greater than his own was the one to take his heart. He’d laugh at himself at how ridiculous that was, then smirk at the sleeping professor, feeling that it would never have been anyone else.

Aventurine pressed a kiss to his forehead and sighed contently, shifting to lie beside Ratio and fall asleep himself at some point. Or perhaps he’d go through the doctor’s belongings for entertainment.

Hm. Which one to pick? , he thought. I think I’ll flip a coin for it.