Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When people think of New York City, they think of The Avengers, Tony Stark, Captain America, or The Hulk. But the most popular New York City dwelling hero in Queens was Spider-Man, at least in the actual citizens opinions. Ever since the spider vigilante showed up, the crime rate had dwindled rather considerably. Almost every person in the area had some interaction with the vigilante, and that's what made him so great to them.

Currently however, that vigilante was in a diner with his aunt, and also late to class.

Peter scrambles to down the rest of his lukewarm coffee while simultaneously shoving the notebook paper he’d been doodling on into his messenger bag. His aunt watches him with a bemused smile, eyes soft. The college student flashes a grin at her,

“Sorry, Aunt May, I forgot I had a lecture today. I would’ve rescheduled if I had remembered. We can have dinner to make up for me cutting it short, okay?”

His aunt hums in acknowledgement,

“It’s alright, Peter. What time is your thing?”

“Eleven.” Peter answers, not looking up from his bag as he buckles it shut.

Aunt May’s eyes drift to the clock on the wall of the diner that said 10:40,

“How far away is your campus?”

Peter whines lowly, eyes flicking to the clock too,

“Aunt May, I really have to go. I’ll call you when I’m done in class and we can plan the diner, okay? I love you, walk home safe, please?” He turns towards the door, tugging his messenger bag over his shoulder and across his chest.

“Peter.”

Peter turns his head to look over his shoulder, complaint already on his lips, but his aunt was already looking at him, crinkles around her eyes as she smiles playfully,

“Don’t forget your phone, Peter.” There’s laughter in her voice as she speaks, “How will I nag you without it, hm?” She held her hand out to him, his phone in her palm.

Peter gingerly took the phone, ears just a bit red at having forgotten it in the first place. His head's been a lot more spacey since the bite.

“Thanks, Aunt May.” He flashes a sheepish smile, “I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached to me.” He’d spoken that phrase so many times since he’d been bitten. How do other superheroes not look crazy while keeping their identity a secret? Peter had no idea.

His aunt gave him a fond eye roll as she reached up and ruffled his hair, shaking her head,

“Don’t you worry, Peter, I’ll always remind you to take your head with you.”

Peter lets out a soft chuckle and ducks his head from her touch after a moment of indulging her,

“Thank you, Aunt May. But I really gotta go, I'm gonna be late for class. College student? Remember?” He points a finger to his chest, indicating he was talking about himself, then he grins and leaves the diner.

His Aunt May calls a goodbye to him, tacking on a playful shout,

“Don’t sass me, Peter Parker!”

As Peter slipped out of the door, holding it open for the couple that was entering, a small smile made its way onto his face. He always felt lighter after having lunch with his Aunt May, she always made him smile.

Unfortunately, Peter did actually have class, and he was probably going to be late. With a huff, he picks up his pace to a run, weaving between the crowd on the sidewalk as he goes. Once he gets to a more clear part of the sidewalk, he sets his skateboard down and takes off down the concrete towards the campus.

He burst into the room of the lecture hall exactly 7 minutes after it began.

“I’m not over 10.” He says immediately to the professor, who currently looks like he wanted to chuck his dry erase marker at him.

“Sit down, Parker.” The professor sighs, turning back to the board and clearing his throat as he continues speaking about the lesson for the day.

Peter lets a small, smug smile onto his face as he hurries to an empty chair and starts pulling out his laptop and books.

The lesson goes on with no interruptions until there's ten minutes left of the lecture. Every student was completely focusing on the professor talking and copying every word that could possibly be important onto their laptops. Some had begun packing up, eyes drifting to the clock and away from the whiteboard.

Then, at exactly 2:52 pm, the door slamming open startles the whole room, Peter included. Without the warning his spider-sense should’ve given him, Peter’s reaction was the same as the other student’s. He watches a tall bulk of a man in a skintight red and black suit step into the lecture hall and yet he stays frozen, pure surprise paralyzing him for the first time in a while. The man glances over at where the door had banged against the wall and whistles at the hole the handle had created.

“Oh cinnamon sticks, I am so sorry about that!” His voice isn’t as deep as Peter expected, but he had pitched it high on purpose when he spoke, the arachnid could tell. The man continues to ramble about flimsy drywall and underfunded universities, seemingly unaware of the college students all staring at him in an odd mix of confusion and fear.

Peter on the other hand, was scanning the man for weapons. Masked people were always a 50/50 shot at being good or bad, and judging by the katanas sheathed in an X across his back and the guns strapped to his thighs and around his hips, this was a bad one. Peter’s fingers twitched towards his bag, wondering if he could slip out and change into his suit without being noticed. If something happened and there was enough chaos he might be able to, but so far all the man was doing is…taping up the hole in the wall he’d made?

The spider vigilante stares at the scene in front of him, watching the man layer duct tape over the small hole before putting the roll in a pouch on his utility belt. He then spun around, making Peter startle and straighten up, his spider-sense was a dull hum at the base of his neck, indicating the man could be dangerous but wasn’t a threat at the moment.

“Again, so sorry about that, White said we should make a dazzling first impression and Yellow told me it would be a great one to break the door down.” The man explains to…the whole room, Peter guesses, as he walks to the front of the class. “Anyway, I’m sure you’re all wondering why the author has granted you the honor of meeting me, the famous Deadpool, The Merc with a Mouth, in the flesh. And I am glad to explain. You see, underfed and poor college students, one of you has something I want.”

Peter’s entire body tenses, hand slowly reaching for his bag as he uses the other to check his web cartridge percentage. Judging by the man’s- Deadpool’s words and the weapons on his body, this was going to be a not-so-great masked person situation. If he ran, other people would too and he’d be able to swing back as Spider-Man-

“Peter Parker, where ya at, kid?”

Peter’s train of thought screeched to a halt.

What?

People’s heads slowly start turning to him, one girl who looked to be on the verge of tears even points at him. He couldn't find it in himself to blame her.

The masked man turns head to look at Peter, at least he assumes he's looking at him, the whites of the mask keeping him from seeing the man’s eyes. His mask crinkles in a way that implies he’s grinning underneath it, Peter does his best not to audibly gulp. This could easily go bad, he had to play it cool.

“That’s me. What can I do ya for?”

That might’ve been too cool. He curses himself as the man’s head tilts and the mask wrinkles differently, an unreadable way this time. Then a second passes and the grin is back,

“I have a proposition for you, young padawan.” He climbs up the steps, sitting on the desk across the aisle from where Peter was sitting. His feet were firmly planted on the floor, but only for a moment before Deadpool scoots back so he can swing them gleefully.

Peter watches him silently, unsure what to do as his spider-senses seem to be going haywire and not going off to any type of threat as Deadpool gets closer. The man begins babbling to him, not about any proposition or offer, instead he talks about zebras.

“I mean honestly, how have not-exactly-horses with bright white and black stripes all over their bodies survived for so long? Have you ever seen a documentary where a zebra was actually caught, cause I haven’t. Oh my golly gosh, maybe it’s like how dogs are colorblind. All the walking future rug’s predators can’t see black and white so it looks like everything else around it. Man, nature is amazing, isn’t it, Peter?”

Peter’s throat feels dry as he coughs softly into his fist,

“Um- I guess so…Deadpool. You- uh mentioned a proposition..?”

Deadpool shakes his head and lets out an amused chuckle,

“You young folk, all about money and answers. Well, lucky for you I have both of those.” He leans backwards, hands resting on the desk underneath him, “You see, Mr. Parker, I saw your pictures in the Daily Bugle. Nice pictures, by the way, I’m a big fan of Spider-Man, personally. Love that ass of his, ya know?”

Peter’s ears heat up, tinting red. Deadpool continues on, not looking away from him. “But recently I’ve had a…revelation of sorts. I want to be a hero. Well- sort of, I definitely still wanna make money from roughing up creeps and scumbags. Just don’t wanna kill them anymore. Would that make me a morally gray-coded vigilante? Whatever- doesn’t matter. We can google it later, White, shut up.” He claps his hands together, startling a few of the students who were closer to him, “ANYWAY- man I can talk, huh? I need you to take pictures of me. For my ad.”

There’s a moment of silence as Peter takes in the frankly absurd amount of words the mutant had just said, all in one breath, in fact, then he says,

“I’ll have to charge you extra for the weapons being included. I could get fined for them if you don’t have a license.”

Deadpool stares at him for a moment, mask not giving any indication of his reaction, then he tosses his head back and cackles,

“Oh man! Petey, I’ll pay you in diamonds just for that. Even Yellow thought it was funny, and he’s a dick.”

Peter doesn’t know who Yellow was, someone he was talking to through an earpiece maybe? He doesn’t ask, not wanting to upset the man in case he did hurt someone,

“$400 is fine.” Peter says, hoping he wasn’t getting himself into a dangerous situation. He could ghost the ex-merc, but if Deadpool had managed to find him in his class he doubts he wouldn’t be able to track him to his apartment.

Deadpool pumps his fist in the air victoriously,

“Yes! Take that crippling sense of dread!” He flashes what Peter assumes is a grin at him, his mask bunching up on either side, “You won’t regret this Petey-pie.” Then, with a wink and a cheeky peace-sign, the mutant strolls out of the lecture hall, closing the door behind him.

Peter gives an uneasy chuckle as the mutant leaves, he was already starting to regret it. Juggling work, his classes, homework and patrolling as Spider-Man was hard enough. Add on keeping his identity a secret from everyone but Gwen and even he had his hands full.

Throwing a client into the mix would only complicate his life further. Especially with that client being a masked ex-merc who could easily disembowel Peter if he upset the man. But he had already said yes, and Deadpool didn’t seem like the type who would just let something go. Peter sighs, guessing he was stuck with Deadpool until the man either got bored or they completed the ad.

He shakes his head a little, clearing it of his thoughts as he tunes back into what was happening around him.

The professor, unsure what to say yet, clears his throat after a moment of the class waiting to see if the mutant would come crashing back in guns blazing. When they realize they weren’t about to be shot, the students begin speaking all at once, some asking their friends if they were okay and others simply chattering about what just happened. The volume of the students grew until it bordered on shouting as they began coming out of their shock.

“Everyone stay calm, please.” The professor finally speaks, holding his hands out placatingly. Most of the students turned to look at him, Peter included, while others kept their eyes on the door to the lecture hall. “Due to the circumstances, I’ll be contacting the police to inform them of this and I would appreciate if everyone gave a statement, especially you, Mr. Parker. Until they get here, I suggest you all get a head start on the paper due next week.”

There was an audible groan already escaping Peter’s lips before the professor was even done talking, although his was for a different reason than the other students' groans and complaints. They didn’t want to stay later than they had to, but Peter’s reasoning was because he has a…distaste for the police. They had a grudge against Spider-Man ever since he debuted as a vigilante, because he did their jobs better than them, and the dislike for them carries over to his everyday life pretty regularly. It’s something he and MJ, Gwen’s new girlfriend, have spent countless hours discussing, although she disliked them for slightly different reasons, the basics were the same. Cops only cared about one thing, getting to arrest people and then bragging about it to other cops.

Alas, Peter, along with maybe a handful of other students, did as the professor said and began working on homework or studying. The others began chattering amongst themselves, the buzz of overlapping conversations turning to a white noise of sorts as Peter focused on his laptop. He strained his ears to hear the professor's conversation with the 911 operator, picking up the words “maniac” and “unhinged” being tossed around too often for his liking.

He saves his progress on his paper and closes the tab, instead going to a google search and typing in Deadpool’s name. It was pretty easy to find out his real name, Wade Wilson, as the first link to pop up was to his Twitter. Peter scrolls quickly through the tweets, most of them being random sentences or jokes posted at inconsistent hours of the day. Other than the twitter page and a link to his Myspace, there wasn’t much information on him besides that he used to be a mercenary but hasn’t been active for approximately two months.

He opens a new tab and searches Wade Wilson instead, getting a few more relative links this time. He clicks on one that leads him to a webpage with a picture of the masked mutant and his name printed at the top. At the bottom of the page it simply said ‘If you see this man call 911 or the Avengers Emergency Hotline’. That was definitely not something Peter was about to do, he may team up with the Avengers every now and then since moving closer to their area of New York, but he isn’t buddy buddy with them by any means. S.H.I.E.L.D. is often trying to recruit him by threatening to arrest him if he doesn’t join them, and the Avengers close affiliation with the agency makes him generally distrusting of the group of superheroes. Also, they’re pretty stuck-up.

Shaking off the train of thought, he goes to click on another link, but by then the door was opening again and this time cops came pouring in. Five or so officers dispersed throughout the classroom, taking out notepads and pens as they took statements from the college students.

Peter closed out of all of his tabs before powering down his laptop, sliding it into his messenger bag. He looks to the front of the lecture hall, spotting his professor pointing towards him while talking to a lady officer. The spider vigilante did his best to keep his expression vaguely nice and nonchalant as the cop came walking up to where he was sitting. He was honestly grateful it was a woman, the men were always so snippy with him, in and out of costume.

“Hi, Peter Parker, am I right?” The cop greeted him with a kind smile on her face. At Peter’s nod, she continues, “It’s nice to meet you, my name’s Kelly Eichman. You can call me Kelly or Ms. Eichman, whichever you prefer, okay?”

Peter nods again, unsure of what else to say as she hasn’t asked him anything yet that required a verbal response. Besides that, she already knew his name, so there was no reason for him to introduce himself.

Ms. Eichman gives him another kind smile before she starts speaking again, this time pulling a notepad and pen from a pouch in her belt and flipping it open,

“So, your professor told me you had a run-in with Deadpool. Do you want to tell me about that, Mr. Parker?”

“You don’t have to call me Mr. Parker, Peter is fine.” Peter says immediately before actually answering her question. “Deadpool came in, asked me if I would take some pictures of him for an ad he’s making. He said he wants to be a hero. Or a morally gray-coded vigilante, whatever that means. I agreed so he didn’t get upset and then he left.”

Officer Eichman nods as she copies down everything he says,

“Did he threaten you or anyone else in the classroom?”

Peter shakes his head,

“No, he actually was…pretty polite about interrupting, besides opening the door too fast and hitting the wall.” He points to the haphazardly taped hole in the wall the doorknob made. “He taped it.”

The officer looks to where he was pointing, frowning in confusion before she heaves a sigh and looks back at Peter,

“Well, I’m glad he didn’t hurt anyone, Peter. You did a good job keeping calm in a stressful situation and I applaud you for that. You might’ve helped keep your classmates safe by keeping your cool.” She flips her notepad shut and slips it back into the pouch she’d gotten it from. Her hands move to rest on her hips, “If you think of anything else you think might be important for us to know you can call the non-emergency line or come down to the station to tell us personally, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am, thank you.” Peter says diligently, offering a small smile to the lady cop.

She gives a tip of her hat and returns the smile,

“Have a good rest of your day, Peter. I don’t have any more questions for you, so if it’s alright with your professor you’re free to go.” She then turns and goes to speak with another student who hadn’t been questioned yet.

Peter lets out a slow, calming breath through his nose before he stands from his seat and packs up the rest of his notebooks and his textbook. He slings his bag over his shoulder and leaves the classroom as nonchalantly as possible, keeping his walking pace relaxed and natural. He follows the other students who had been questioned already until he reaches the campus grounds.

Once he’s outside, he breaks into a sprint, nerves bubbling in his stomach as he takes out his phone to call Gwen. She answers on the second ring and doesn’t even get a greeting in before Peter says,

“You are never gonna believe what just happened to me.” The deep sigh from the other side of the line did make Peter smile, just a bit.

~*

Within an hour of his meeting with Deadpool, Peter was sitting in a cafe with a caramel macchiato and Gwen was sitting across from him with her own coffee, a simple latte.

Gwen finishes taking a sip of her drink and sets it down on the table,

“Okay so, Deadpool, a mercenary-”

“Retired mercenary.” Peter corrects, stirring his coffee with a spoon.

“Right…retired mercenary, showed up at your lecture and asked you to do a photoshoot for him and you…agreed? Peter, how do you know this guy isn’t gonna be dangerous?”

Peter sighs, stopping his stirring and taking a sip of his coffee before he answers,

“I don’t, that’s the problem. I agreed to keep him happy since I didn’t know if he’d lash out on the other students if I said no, but he’s gonna be paying me $400 just for some pictures. I think it might be an easy side-job. The Bugle has been rejecting a lot of my pictures lately and my other job doesn’t exactly pay well.” Gwen was the only person in his life that knew him as both Peter and Spider-Man. Even though her knowing led to their break-up, Peter was always grateful to have someone who knew about his powers.

Gwen doesn’t answer right away as she debates the pros and cons of the situation, but Peter is fine with that. He distracts himself by drinking his coffee and watching the people pass by the cafe window. The vigilante knew working with Deadpool, even as just a civilian, could easily go bad. But if the mutant was willing to turn over a new leaf, wasn’t Spider-Man all about second chances? He gave Flash a second chance and they had become friends. Gwen gave him a second chance plenty of times, and his Aunt May had given him plenty of second chances since his Uncle Ben died. Giving someone a second chance didn’t always end in disaster.

Peter was brought out of his thoughts when Gwen finally responds, it having only been a couple minutes of comfortable silence.

“Okay…” Gwen began slowly, her bottom lip catching between her teeth, something she always did when she was thinking hard. “If Deadpool is actually trying to be a better person, it could be a good thing. But if anything even slightly suspicious happens, you have to promise me you’ll call it off, okay?”

Peter nods,

“Pinky promise, Gwenyth.”

She gives him a sassy look, one of her perfectly plucked eyebrows lifted sassily,

“You know that isn’t my full name.”

“Oh I’m sorry, Gwendolyne.”

His spider-sense tingles down his neck and a spoon flies towards Peter’s face. He easily lifts a hand and catches it right before it hits him square in the forehead. He sets it down on the table,

“You know, you’re lucky I have incredible reflexes or my Aunt May would think someone was abusing me.” He grins at Gwen, laughing when she simply rolls her eyes at him and takes a drink of her latte.

“You’re lucky you have a healing factor or she’d think that anyway, Spider-boy.” She smirks at him when he copies her eye-roll. “How did brunch with your aunt go?”

Peter’s expression softens at the mention of his aunt but he sighs as he answers,

“We were talking about her volunteering at the homeless shelter near her house. She’s been thinking about it since she retired from nursing, but I think it could be too taxing on her health. She’s not exactly young and spry anymore.”

“And what does she think?” Gwen asks, an amused smile already on her face.

Peter throws his hands in the air, tone bordering on exasperation,

“She thinks she’s as healthy as a horse and that I worry too much and want her to get cabin fever and then go insane.”

Gwen laughs, her hands coming up to smother it’s loudness,

“You do worry too much. Maybe it could be good for her to get out of the house more often than occasional errands and brunch with you. I doubt they’d have her do anything too strenuous, right?”

Peter hums, scowl turning into a pout. He takes a drink of his quickly cooling coffee,

“I guess. I just- I worry.” He chuckles at himself. “I know she’s getting restless without having a job but retirement is meant to be a time for her to relax.”

The blonde across from him hums thoughtfully as well, taking a moment to answer him,

“I get what you mean, Peter. But your aunt has been kicking ass for a long time, it’s probably hard for her to relax when she knows she could be helping people. Reminds me of someone else I know that never takes a break.” She gives him a look which he pointedly ignores as he takes another drink. “Give it a chance, okay? If her health starts declining then you can nag her about relaxing more.”

Peter frowns, sighing softly as he says,

“Fine, but I’m gonna worry about her, I can’t not.” He checks his phone then downs the rest of his coffee in one go. “I have to get going, I have homework I need to get done before patrol. Same time next Tuesday? Want me to walk you home?” He flashes a bright smile at Gwen.

Gwen nods and sips her coffee,

“You go ahead, Peter. I’m gonna order a muffin and finish my coffee.” She returns his smile, “Be safe, love you, Peter.”

Peter’s smile grows brighter and he pulls his bag over his shoulder,

“I will be, love you too, Gwen.” He turns to the door and leaves, tossing his empty coffee cup blindly towards the trash, not even looking back to see if it had made it in. Peter knew it had.

Chapter Text

While it wasn’t possible to predict crime, there were always patterns for when certain crimes are more likely to happen.

Peter has done tons of research on crime patterns, and has been able to track them himself while patrolling as Spider-Man. He’s done lots of tests since he started patrolling, and he’s figured out lots of things about when and where crimes are more likely to happen. For example, certain parts of the city are more likely to have muggings while another area could have more robberies. Peter had most of the zones of New York categorized this way on a map in his bedroom. It wasn’t much but it was something to make his job seem less impossible.

His eyes flick to the map of the city he had on the wall above his desk. He’s currently getting ready for patrol, his entire Spider-Man suit on besides his mask.

Peter walks up to his desk, leaning on it as he inspects the map.

It had taken him years to get all the areas categorized, and even though they were all currently labeled, the patterns did change and fluctuate. Sometimes there’d be a random string of murders or robberies or some other crime as an outlier crossed into a different area. Crime wasn’t predictable, but it was trackable, and that’s how Peter could do what he did. That and being able to hear four blocks over if a person’s heartbeat picks up or a window is broken into.

He looks down at his laptop, the webpage that was up being a file on Deadpool. It was a file he’d taken directly from The Avengers database, but he’d never been caught rooting around in them before so he wasn’t very worried about being caught. It’s not like he hadn’t looked around more top secret databases before, it was practically his pastime since he used them to track criminals being spotted in different places around the city.

But The Avengers database had a lot of information on the ex-mercenary. What had caught his attention, however, was Deadpool’s real name and the fact that he’s “gone good” multiple times in the past and always turns back to being a killer for hire.

The file had many other things in it, but what had piqued Peter’s interest the most was when he found out Deadpool had been in the military, Special Forces in Canada, before he mutated. The file says that Deadpool had been dishonorably discharged due to ‘lack of respect for authority’.

That was what gave Peter his newest idea.

It wasn’t a secret Spider-Man doesn't listen to people who order him around, and Peter was thinking maybe Deadpool was like that too. If he reaches out to the ex-mercenary, maybe he could help him become a vigilante instead of someone who murders for money. And even though he knew there was a chance this was another one of Deadpool’s lapses into good morals, the spider vigilante couldn’t help his attempt at sympathizing with the mutant.

Everyone did things for a reason, he doubts Deadpool was any different. If he was faking trying to become good, why go through the hassle of hiring a photographer? Doing a photoshoot? Ad’s weren’t cheap to run, Peter knew since self-advertising was never something he could afford. Although, mercenary work pays well, as Peter has found out while researching Deadpool. The man could just be bored, maybe he was just messing around.

He sighs heavily, shutting his laptop and pressing the button on the side to power it down. He had a whole lot of maybe’s and not a lot of anything else. Peter turns away from his desk, shooting out a web to grab his mask from his bed as he walks to the window.

He supposes that whatever information he has on the situation, he’d had to find Deadpool again to resolve anything. Whether it was as Peter or Spider-Man, he wasn’t sure which side of him would be the best to deal with the ex-mercenary. As Peter, he was always a bit more blunt and a bit more cynical, like any broke college student. And as Spider-Man, Peter did his best to be patient and kind and forgiving, always the vigilante who gave second chances. But Peter didn’t know the type of person Deadpool actually was, just the things he’s done. So he had no idea which one the mutant would respond to better.

Ultimately, he knew he’d probably end up doing the photoshoot for Deadpool as Peter, he couldn’t think of any way to get out of that without at least hurting his feelings. And if he denied him his first real, as far as Peter knew, attempt at becoming better, what if it made the ex-mercenary give up on becoming a vigilante? Peter wouldn’t even get a chance to help him as Spider-Man if that happened. Besides, he could use the money.

So, Peter had decided to try and find Deadpool so he could approach him as Spider-Man and offer to coach him into bettering himself and being a vigilante. Gwen would skin him alive when she found out.

Deadpool calling him young padawan earlier that day passes through his mind and he can’t help the soft huff of laughter that escapes him. If there’s one thing his research and minimal interaction with the ex-mercenary had concluded, it was that Deadpool was incredibly charismatic. It was one of the reasons he’d been so hard to catch, and he had an insane healing factor that made it hard to keep him contained.

Was helping him a dumb idea? Maybe, but Peter had plenty of dumb ideas in his time as a vigilante and he could usually get away with only minor physical and/or mental damage. Usually. And, if things really went south, he could always call up The Avengers, and give them some lie about him joining them if they helped him. If he kept it vague enough he’d be innocent by omission and that was good enough for him.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Peter tugs his mask on and goes to his window, opening it and climbing out onto the fire escape. He holds up his hand and shoots a web at a nearby building, diving off the fire escape and swinging above the street.

The air was warm as he swung through the surprisingly quiet city, his ears tuning in on every bump and scrape he hears.

He travels around like this for a little while, not more than an hour, before he deposits himself on a rooftop, prepared to sit and listen to the sounds of the city until crime starts picking up for the night.

There was always a slow period at the beginning of his patrols, when the sun was just setting and people were at home instead of on the streets. Then the third shifters would emerge a couple hours later and things were more likely to pick up then.

Peter shoots out a few webs, connecting one end to the wall and the other to an ac unit not far from it, making a hammock of sorts. He climbs into the bed of webs and lays on his back, ankles crossing over each other as he puts his hands behind his head to act as a pillow. The makeshift hammock sways with his movement, calming his nerves ever so slightly.

He stays there for a few moments, not tuning into the sounds happening out of his normal hearing range as he lets himself relax for a minute or so. Then, a soft shuffling sound grabs his attention. He tilts his head towards it, eyebrows furrowing before he props himself up on his elbows and looks over to the side of the roof it was coming from. He heard what could be a shoe slipping against brick but that was impossible, he was on top of a six story building.

His spider-sense wasn’t warning him about anything either. Peter frowns, sitting up completely, then what was the noise?

A gloved hand grabs the edge of the roof and Peter barely keeps himself from shrieking. He doesn’t however keep himself from launching off of the hammock into a backflip. Unfortunately, he didn’t take into consideration that he was already at the edge of the roof.

Peter’s spider-sense was definitely working now, screaming at him as he plummets towards the alleyway below. He shoots out a web, holding his breath for the few seconds it took for it to connect to the wall. With his descent stopped, he climbs the side of the building and peaks over the edge of the roof.

Deadpool was pacing along the rooftop, looking the same as he had earlier in the day when he interrupted Peter’s lecture. He was muttering to himself, looking agitated. Peter focuses on the man’s mutterings, his heartbeat picking up when he heard what the mutant was saying.

“He has to be up here, Yellow, you dick. I didn’t hallucinate! He was right up here making this little spidey hammock. If he was a hallucination it wouldn’t still be here.” Deadpool huffs under his breath, hands moving to his hips as he looks around at surrounding roofs. “Maybe we missed him? It did take us a while to climb up here. Yes I know I could’ve used the grappling hook, White. I didn't wanna startle him.”

Peter’s heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. He’d dealt with so many villains who were horrible in so many different ways, why was he so scared of this one guy? Sure he had an intense healing factor, and he probably had more weapons on him than Peter had ever seen in the same room- actually, fear seems pretty on par for how he should be feeling.

This guy seems to be looking for him. Not as Peter, as Spider-Man, but that didn’t comfort him in any way. Was Deadpool choosing him to photograph his ad a coincidence like Peter had thought or had he found out his identity?

He bites back a groan of frustration, he’d wanted to find the man while on patrol but he didn’t think Deadpool would be trying to find him. Peter debates on his options, he could stay hidden in hopes the ex-merc went to a different rooftop, but if Peter wanted to talk to him anyway, why not do it now?

Peter chooses the second option, poking his head and shoulders over the side of the roof and clearing his throat to get Deadpool’s attention.

The ex-mercenary looks over at him immediately, gasping in excitement as he shrieks,

“SPIDEY! I thought I’d missed you!” He moves to take a step closer but Peter ducks back down on reflex, only the eyes of his mask above the roofline. Deadpool flounders uncertaintly at Peter’s reaction, “Is it the guns? The katanas maybe? I know you aren’t a big fan of killing. Don’t worry though, look-!” The mutant pulls out a gun and Peter almost bolts, but then he opens the ammo clip and dumps the bullets onto the ground. Instead of simply rolling wherever they landed, the bullets clink and bounce around for a moment. “Rubber bullets, see? Switched them out a couple weeks ago. They don’t do anything permanent. Unless you shoot someone in the eye, but I won’t do that! Pinky promise.”

Peter thinks for a moment, examining the man in front of him, then he climbs all the way onto the roof. He dusts himself off and walks over to the pile of bullets. He crouches down to look at them closer and sure enough, they were rubber. He looks back up at Deadpool, his eyes narrowing even though the man couldn’t see it.

“Ya know, Spidey-babe I thought when I first saw you from this angle it’d be a totally different scenario, if you know what I mean.” Deadpool says, grinning beneath his mask. Peter had no idea how it was so expressive.

He stays still for a moment, unsure of what Deadpool meant, but then it clicks and he scrambles to stand. Peter’s cheeks tint light pink and he crosses his arms over his chest defensively as he quips back before he could even think,

“As if I’d ever do that on a first date. You think I’m a harlot or something?”

Deadpool throws his head back as he laughs, he seems to think everything Peter says is the funniest thing he’s ever heard.

“I was hoping you were actually funny! I’ve seen people say you always talk through a fight and I was getting worried it wasn’t true.”

Peter rolls his eyes, his shoulders raising ever slightly like they always do,

“I’m not really that funny. Whatever, I heard you were looking for me. Care to explain why? I’d hate to have to arrest you on your first day in Queens.”

“Oh trust me, no one can keep this guy behind bars.” His tone was just a tad bit darker than it had been, but then he continued talking and it was back to normal. “But I was looking for you because I’ve always wanted to meet you! I saw you take on that green goblin guy and I was immediately in love. With you, not that icky man.”

Peter doesn’t answer right away, unsure what to say as he hadn’t been expecting that. A threat or something sure but he just wanted to meet him? Peter was lost.

“You came to…say hi? To me?” Peter finally asks, head tilting curiously.

Deadpool nods enthusiastically, moving to sit criss-cross on the ground as he begins picking up the rubber bullets and putting them back in his gun.

“I wanted to get an autograph too, if you wouldn’t mind. I was actually just passing through when I saw that your photographer, that Peter guy that always takes your pictures for the bugle, was running a freelance thing.” He talks and reloads the gun at the same time with ease, hands moving quick enough to suggest it was easy as pie for the man. “I’m planning on running an ad for my rebrand and he always makes you look delicious so I figured it couldn’t hurt to get some shots from him.”

That just confuses Peter even more. As Spider-Man he’d never specifically stated that Peter Parker was his photographer. Sure, he turned in a lot of the pictures of himself as Spider-Man but there were tons of photographers who centered their work around getting pictures of him. Then Deadpool calling him delicious sunk in and he blushes again.

“Do I even want to know what you mean by delicious?”

“Oh definitely not.”

This man was driving him crazy. His spider-sense didn’t seem to work around Deadpool, maybe a result of the radioactivity of his own mutation mixing badly with Deadpool’s mutation? Maybe he had some kind of device on him that muted it? And on top of that, if Deadpool had already made the connection of Peter Parker taking pictures for Spider-Man, what if he connected the dots further and figured out Spider-Man’s identity?

“Hey, Spidey-babe, you look like you’re overthinking. Are you overthinking?” Deadpool’s voice breaks him out of his spiral of thoughts.

Peter blinks rapidly, focusing back on the ex-mercenary.

The man was watching him, mask somehow displaying a concerned expression. He must’ve finished reloading his gun because it was no longer in his hand and he had stood back up, standing closer to Peter now.

Peter shuffles back half a step, ducking his head in embarrassment that he’d zoned out mid-conversation.

“No. I just didn’t know people thought Peter was my official photographer.” Peter denies, although he had been overthinking a bit. Maybe. “I let him take my pictures sometimes but I don’t pay him or anything, it’s just something I allow to happen. His boss is the one who wants the pictures, not me.”

Deadpool hums, rocking on his feet,

“Whatever you say, webhead.” He locks his hands behind his back, his grin back. “How about that autograph, huh? I’ve been a good boy, I promise.”

Peter feels his face heat up with a blush again and he’s thankful for his mask. Blushing so much in front of someone he’d just met was one thing, but them knowing about it was worse.

“Actually, while we’re talking about Peter, he told me you were going to be…trying to be good? Is that true?”

Deadpool perks up at the mention of him turning over a new leaf,

“You betcha, Spidey! I’m going all out this time, no going back. I might even officially join the X-Men if I’m feeling super warm and fuzzy. Why?” His head cocks questioningly.

Peter sucks in a quick breath, debating for a moment on whether he actually wanted to do this. Gwen was going to be so mad at him. Oh god, how should he even ask? Peter flounders for a moment, unsure of what to say next, then he clears his throat,

“Ya know, I…wasn’t always going to use my powers to do this.” Deadpool’s head cocks in confusion and Peter’s quick to explain. “The vigilante hero thing, I mean. I originally was planning on becoming a track star or a wrestling champion, basically something that was easy for me because of my stamina and strength. But then, someone who was very close to me-” Peter’s interrupted by Deadpool gasping.

The man was watching him with the whites of his mask widened, as if he was waiting for something exciting to happen.

Peter gives him an odd look, but continues speaking anyway,

“Someone very close to me once told me, with great power comes great responsibility.” He stutters over his next sentence as Deadpool squeals and claps his hands together in delight. This guy was pretty weird, the man’s twitter wasn’t just like that. “I-I wanna help you. I know I’m not exactly the most amazing example of a vigilante, but I like to think I have a handle on the basics. I- I can be your Jedi Master.” He can’t help twisting Deadpool’s own words back to him, hoping the man didn’t make a connection between him and his civilian identity. Not the smartest move. He curses himself in his head but keeps his body language open and relaxed.

“BOOYAH! Take that Logan! I knew I could get Spidey-babe to team up with me first.”

Peter crosses his arms loosely over his chest, his eyebrow lifting under his mask,

“I’ll take that as a yes then? Who’s Logan?”

Deadpool laughs, his head tilting backwards ever so slightly like he always seems to do when he laughs,

“That’s a hell yes with a capital holy shit batman, baby boy!”

Peter squints, trying to figure out if the nickname was a dig at his age or just a nickname. He settles on a mix of both and frowns at Deadpool,

“Don't call me that. I’m not a kid.”

“Don’t worry, Spidey-babe, I didn’t mean it that way.” Deadpool’s voice had an undertone to it that sent a pleasant shiver down Peter’s spine. He practically purrs out his next sentence, “I meant it in a ‘you can call me daddy and I’d take such good care of you, baby boy’ way.”

Peter’s entire face felt like it was on fire. He was not used to being flirted with, especially not with it coming from someone who was definitely out of his league. The look Deadpool was giving him made him feel like his suit was suddenly too hot and too tight. He breaks their eye contact, the tension in the air too much for him to handle.

Peter knew the ex-merc wasn’t just joking either. Deadpool might be a world famous mercenary who is well-known for his humor, but it wasn’t hard to find out with a simple google search that the mutant was a tad bit promiscuous.

And, despite people’s beliefs about Spider-Man, he wasn’t very social. He didn’t have the confidence, or the time, to flirt and go on dates or have anything but occasional one night stands that never went anywhere past that.

Besides that, he only really interacted with his Aunt May and Gwen. Occasionally, he’d have a longer than casual conversation with a civilian if he walked them home after he saved them, but that was it. And none of them ever hit on him. Besides that one lady he walks home all the time, Paula. She’s his downstairs neighbor.

Peter finally remembers he has to answer, since that’s how conversations work, and he clears his throat before he does,

“O-Oh. That’s- good? Thanks?”

Deadpool laughs, the tension dropping immediately as he does, the moment broken,

“Spidey, you’re adorable. I knew you would be cute but goodness me, I could eat you up and have fifteen cavities when I finished!”

Peter’s shoulders relax a little. He’d never been called adorable before, he’d been called handsome and hot, but never adorable. It didn’t feel as teasing as Peter thought it would.

“Adorable? Really?”

“Really really, and I’m not the only one who thinks it! Almost all of New York agrees with me, baby boy.”

Peter finds that hard to believe and he lets that be known in the way he rolls his eyes and drawls out,

“Almost the entire population in the biggest city in the US thinks I’m adorable, really? I’m gonna need some proof of that, Deadpool.”

Deadpool gasps, clapping his hands together excitedly,

“I’m in some Spider-Man facebook groups! Do you want me to send you links to them?”

“Wouldn’t that be a bit egotistical? Joining facebook groups about myself?”

“Self-love is important too, Spidey.” Deadpool tells him in a factual tone. He pulls out his phone and taps away at it. Peter forgets all about their bickering.

Peter steps closer to him, eyes widening in surprise,

“Dude! You have touchscreen pads on your gloves? I’ve always wanted to get some of those.” He pulls out the Spider-Phone, a flip phone he bought so he could have a separate number from his personal phone, and also keep in touch with people as Spider-Man. He’d put a Spider-Man sticker on the front and a spider phone charm. “I can’t use an iphone in costume cause I can’t use the screen.”

“OMG, that phone charm is so cute. Did you buy that cause you’re Spider-Man? I’ve always wanted a gun charm for my phone.” Deadpool giggles, seemingly forgetting about his hunt for links to all his Spider-Man facebook groups. He was actually in quite a few.

Peter rolls his eyes, flipping the phone open and starting a new contact,

“It’s called the Spider-Phone and its highly important hero equipment.” He puts the name in as Deadpool, deciding to keep it simple, then holds it out to the mutant. “Put your number in.”

The ex-merc lets out a shriek of excitement, almost dropping his own phone on the pavement as he scrambles to grab the phone. He starts putting in his number, babbling as he did,

“I can’t believe I’m getting Spider-Man’s phone number. Wait until I tell Logan- no, wait until I tell Yukio! She’s gonna be so jealous. I should call her for a girls night soon. We do need a spa day, you’re right, White. Yellow, I know you secretly like them, don’t lie to me.” He hands Peter’s phone out to him, his babbling turning to bickering with whoever Yellow and White were, he didn’t really wanna ask.

Peter takes his phone back and looks down at the contact. He rolls his eyes, looking back to Deadpool,

“I’m not keeping that as your name.”

“It’s who I am, you can’t change me, Spidey.”

“It just says HotFella69!”

Deadpool cries out, lifting the back of his hand to his forehead,

“You never let me shine! You’re just like my father!”

Peter rolls his eyes, but saves the contact and flips his phone shut. He slips it into his pocket,

“Fine. I’ll keep it, but only because it has 69 in it and I don’t feel like arguing with you.”

Deadpool pumps his fist,

“Fuck yeah.”

The spider vigilante laughs softly at the man’s antics.

Unlike what he was expecting, he was enjoying himself. Deadpool seems like a good person, maybe he’s a good person that bad things happened too. Peter knew how that felt, he knew the type of anger it could make. He shakes his head slightly, definitely not a good time to go down that train of thought.

“So, about patrolling,” Peter starts, moving to sit on the edge of the roof, his feet dangling over the side. He leans back on his hands, looking up at Deadpool, “Would you want to join me on this one? I just got started an hour or two ago, nights still fresh.”

Deadpool copies him, sitting beside him,

“It’d be a pleasure to patrol with you, Spidey-babe. What’s it entail?”

Peter gives the mutant a quick rundown of his usual routine, what times he would start patrolling and things like that. Deadpool falls silent as he takes in the information Peter had given him.

The spider vigilante waits for him to think, pulling his knees up to his chest as he looks out over the city. There weren’t many cars out and about, but the twinkling of the skyscraper’s lights in the distance showed that New York truly was the city that never sleeps.

Deadpool responds a minute or two later and Peter looks at him as he speaks,

“Okay. I can totes tag along on patrol with you. Should we meet at a certain place? Or we could get a bat signal.” He suddenly gasps, hands flapping excitedly, “Or or- we could leave each other riddles that lead to different meet-up spots!”

Peter chuckles, grinning lopsidedly under his mask,

“Or, since we have each other’s phone numbers, I can text you where we are meeting.”

“You take the fun out of everything.”

Peter laughs louder, one of his laughs that he usually tries to hide. He couldn’t help it though, the way Deadpool’s mask had dropped from pure joy to deadpan was hilarious.

As he tries to get his laughter under control, covering his mouth with one hand to muffle it, Deadpool watches him with an unreadable expression. Once he finally calms down enough to speak, he tilts his head and asks,

“What?”

Deadpool startles, like he’d been lost in thought,

“What what?”

“Why were you staring at me?” Peter asks with an eyeroll.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?”

Peter rolls his eyes again, standing up and brushing himself off. He starts stretching his arms out,

“Whatever, are you ready to go? By the way, how do you feel about hurtling untethered through the air at unmeasurable speeds?”

Deadpool shoots up beside him, mask showing he was once again beaming,

“It’s like my favorite pastime, Spidey! You gonna take me for a ride, baby boy?” There was a slight lilt at the end of Deadpool’s question, the tone he used making Peter blush again. God was Peter glad he’d decided to wear a full-face mask instead of a half.

He doesn’t respond to Deadpool’s question, instead turning around and motioning for the mutant to climb onto his back.

“Listen, Spidey, I appreciate the gesture but you’re like four feet tall. I don’t think you can carry all this.” There was a hint of self-consciousness in the ex-merc’s voice that rubbed Peter the wrong way. He was talking before he even thought of what he was going to say, his tone bordering on teasing,

“I can lift a small aircraft with one hand, ‘pool. Get on.” The nickname slips out naturally and without warning. Neither of them mention it.

There’s a beat of silence, then Deadpool’s climbing onto his back. He wraps his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, giggling to himself,

“Aw Spidey, I get all tingly when you order me around like that.”

“I’ll drop you.” Peter says, voice deadpan. All his words do is draw a laugh out of the man clinging to his back. He gives a quick, “Hold on tight.” Then dives off the rooftop and shoots a web at the nearest building.

Deadpool lets out a drawn out whoop, his hold on Peter tightening as they go into their first swing. Peter would shush him, it was the middle of the night, but the pure glee in Deadpool's voice stops him. The citizens of New York could deal with it.

The two mutants swing around for a little while, Peter keeping his ears focused on listening for any sign of crime. Deadpool quiets down rather quickly, Peter assumes he’s taking in the view.

It’s only an hour and a half later that Peter finally picks up on something, the sound of a pocket knife being flicked out and a sharp intake of breath. He changes course immediately, saying a quick,

“Hold on, ‘pool.” To Deadpool as he does.

“Ooo, did you hear something, Spidey?”

Peter nods, not elaborating as he drops them onto a roof above the spot. Deadpool detaches himself from his back and Peter peaks over the side of the building. He could see two people, one man and one woman. He strains his ears, hearing the man speaking harshly to her,

“C’mon lady, I ain’t got all night. Just fucking dump it out.” The command was followed by the sound of a bunch of objects scattering across the ground.

“He’s got a knife, I’ll disarm him, you help the woman, okay?” Peter says in a rush to Deadpool over his shoulder. He gets a nod of confirmation and he flips himself off the roof, tossing out a web for Deadpool to climb down with as an afterthought.

He lands right behind the mugger, tapping him on the shoulder,

“You know, my mom always told me it’s rude to threaten people with knives.” The man whirls around, swinging the knife wildly in Peter’s general direction. Peter avoids it easily, simply taking a step back. “I can’t imagine what your mother would say.”

Deadpool sneaks around the man, going to the woman and calming her down. Peter isn’t paying attention enough to hear what he’s saying, but the woman visibly relaxes as Deadpool starts picking up the contents of her purse. That must’ve been what Peter heard hitting the ground.

“So, why mugging? Retail not do it for you? I heard 7-11 was hiring.”

That must anger the man, cause he lunges at Peter then, still swinging his knife.

“You motherfucker!”

Peter ducks to avoid the knife again, shooting a web at the blade and using it to tug it from the man’s grasp. He catches it and tosses it away from them,

“Oh and now I have to wash out your mouth with soap. Did your mom teach you nothing?” He spots Deadpool creeping up behind the man, the woman now gone, and grins, “Here, let me just-” He shoots two webs at the man’s feet, sticking him in place. The man growls, leaning forward to try and grab at Peter.

Deadpool steps up behind him, stage-whispering,

“Boo.”

The man shrieks, having not noticed the other mutant. He tries to whirl around but is stopped by the webbing on his feet.

Peter laughs, taking pity on the man. He webs his hands together and tugs him free of the webbing on his feet. He then shoves him towards the wall and shoots another web to stick him to it. The man opens his mouth, to shout at him probably, and Peter webs his mouth shut before he can get out a single word.

“You’ve shown me you can’t keep it PG so I’m gonna have to censor you.” Peter quips, chuckling at his own joke. He hears Deadpool laugh too, and he turns to face the mutant.

“I told you that you talk through fights.” Deadpool says, looking smug as he walks over to Peter. He stands in front of him, posture relaxed despite having just been in a fight. Sort of.

“Okay so maybe I talk a lot.” Peter admits, beginning to walk out of the alleyway as he pulls out the spider-phone. He speed-dials the non-emergency police line and holds it up to his ear as it rings.

“New York City police department, how can I help you?” A woman’s voice asks over the line. Peter recognizes her voice immediately.

“Hey, Stacy, I got one.”

“Oh, Spider-Man, first one of the night?” Her tone relaxes as she slips out of her professional voice. “Took you longer than usual. Where’re they at?”

“8th and 44th, near Shake Shack.” Peter replies, still walking down the sidewalk with Deadpool beside him. “It’s kinda slow tonight, might not be many more after this.”

Peter can hear her typing over the phone before she says,

“Slow, huh? You have time to talk then? Glenda was telling me that the captain and-”

“H-Hold on, Stacy.” Peter interrupts quickly, glancing at Deadpool. The mutant was definitely grinning at him. “I can’t talk right now, I’ll call later if I can, okay?”

“Ooo? Spider-Man teaming up with someone?” Stacy teases, but she lets it go. “Call back later, honey.” The line clicks and ends.

Peter is blushing again as he flips his phone closed and slips it into the hidden pocket in his suit.

“Spider-Man gossips with police dispatchers?” Deadpool says almost as soon as the phone is away.

“Shut up or I’m never giving you a piggyback ride again.”

Deadpool holds his hands up defensively,

“Hey hey, I’m not one to judge. This is a judgment free zone.”

Peter smiles a little, shoulders drooping as he knew he wasn’t going to be made fun of.

“Let’s get going, crime doesn’t wait for us to find it.”

The spider vigilante crouches down and Deadpool climbs onto his back again. Once they’re situated, Peter shoots out a web and they fly into the air.

The two go around for a couple more hours, stopping muggings and attempted break-ins. They even deal with a small bank robbery. But even superpowered mutants get tired, and admittedly, bored.

The pair were sitting on a rooftop now, watching as the bank robbers they’d caught were being shoved into police cars on the street below them.

“I thought you were gonna get shot. At the end there.” Peter says, not looking away from the scene.

“Eh, it wouldn’t have phased me.” Deadpool replies smoothly. “My healing factor is like Captain America’s on steroids. Unless it’s a headshot nothing really takes me down.”

A bitter taste settles on Peter’s tongue,

“But it still hurts, doesn’t it?”

There’s a beat of silence, Deadpool’s mask expressionless. Then, as if a switch was flipped, his mask shifts into a grin.

“We should get hotdogs!” He points to a hotdog stand not far from them. “I heard there's some that have a special Spider-Man themed one.”

Peter sighs under his breath, this was something he noticed the mutant does a lot. He dodges any question that could possibly lead to vulnerability of any kind. Getting close to the ex-merc was going to be harder than Peter originally thought. With his nickname being The Merc with a Mouth, the vigilante had thought it would be easy to get him to talk. And it had been, just not about anything substantial. He doesn’t push though, knowing it would probably scare Deadpool off more than anything.

“Hotdogs would be amazing.” Peter says reverently. “I’m starving.”

Deadpool laughs, looking relieved his distraction had worked,

“Starving, huh? Well I’m definitely not strapped for cash, so you can get as many hotdogs as your spider-heart desires.”

Peter stands up, stretching his arms over his head,

“It’s just a regular heart, as far as I know.” He holds his hand out to Deadpool, intending to help him up.

Deadpool stares at his outstretched hand a split second longer than Peter anticipates, but just as Peter was opening his mouth to ask, the mutant took his hand. Peter brushes the moment off, pulling Deadpool up to stand easily.

Deadpool watches him for a moment, very obviously looking Peter up and down,

“That super strength of your’s is delectable, Spidey-babe.”

Peter rolls his eyes, going to the fire escape and clinging to the wall beside it,

“Why is that the nickname that’s sticking? Any of the other ones are better.”

“Like what? Webs? Webhead? Arachnid bride of darkness?”

“I’m not even goth.” Peter interjects, although his statement is ignored.

“Baby boy? That one is definitely staying. I like how squirmy you get.”

Peter rolls his eyes for what feels like the thousandth time that night. He doesn’t reply until they’re on the ground, Deadpool having climbed down the fire escape while Peter crawled down the wall beside it.

Peter leads the way to the hotdog stand, the man running it beams when he spots the vigilante. Although, when his eyes flick to Deadpool his expression dims, just a tad.

“Spider-Man…and company, how can I help you?” The man greets them.

“I want a chili dog with extra cheese and onions, please.” Peter orders, hand moving to pull out the small wad of bills he always kept on his person. He stops mid-motion however when Deadpool steps up between him and the stand.

“And can I have a Spider-Man chili special with no cheese?” Deadpool is already pulling out his wallet and dropping a hundred dollar bill on the hotdog stand before the man or Peter could even process his order.

“Wha- Deadpool! I was gonna pay for mine.” Peter scolds, crossing his arms over his chest as Deadpool turns around to look down at him. The man tending the stand plucks up the money and starts on their food.

“And then I did it instead! Aren’t I the greatest?”

“I appreciate it but I really can pay for my own.” Peter insists, moving to pull out his money again.

Peter’s spider-sense spikes sluggishly for a split second before Deadpool’s hand shoots out and grabs a hold of his wrist, stopping his movement. The grip is firm, but Peter knew he’d be able to break out of it if he really tried.

“I handled it, though?” The ex-merc hums thoughtfully. “How about I get it this time and you pay for it next time?”

Peter isn’t exactly happy about it, but he grumbles out an agreement. He didn’t enjoy it when people paid for him, especially for food. He was almost 24, he should be able to pay for his own food.

“I am paying next time.” Peter reiterates firmly.

Deadpool releases his wrist and grins,

“Sounds good to me, Spidey-babe!”

“Excuse me, you’re hotdogs are ready, sirs.”

The two turn around at the same time, both thanking the man as they take their food from him. They take a few steps away from the stand, glancing around for where they could eat.

“Bet I can beat you back to the roof without spilling anything.” Peter says quickly, looking over at the other mutant.

“I bet you’re gonna cry when you lose.” Deadpool fires back, and then they take off. Deadpool covers his hotdog with napkins to try and keep it intact as he scrambles up the fire escape.

To keep it sort of fair, Peter climbs up the same way he’d climbed down before. He can hear Deadpool cursing and bickering with Yellow and White and the sound makes him grin in amusement.

It’s a bit hard to climb with one hand holding his hotdog, but Peter manages to pull himself over the edge of the roof exactly 6 seconds before Deadpool. In a fit of triumph, Peter lets out a whoop. He looks at Deadpool, tone dripping with mischief,

“Who’s gonna cry when they lose, ‘pool?”

“I would have totally beat you if I wasn’t trying to protect a masterpiece.” Deadpool insists as they move to sit on the edge of the roof, like they had at the start of their patrol.

“Mhm.” Peter hums, setting his food in his lap. He takes off his gloves and picks up the chili dog before he freezes, realizing he still had his mask on. He glances to the side at Deadpool, who seems to have done the exact same thing. “I won’t take a peak if you don’t.”

Deadpool debates this for a moment then-

“Deal.”

Peter looks away from the other mutant as he rolls his mask up so it’s resting on his nose. He finally takes a bite of his food and groans at the taste of it. He’d gotten a new interest in meat since his mutation, quite odd for him since he used to be a vegetarian. But a diet change wasn’t even on the list of biggest changes that came with his mutation.

Peter doesn’t try to make conversation as they eat, taking in the view of the city below them instead.

It had been a great night, better than most of Peter’s patrols. They’d taken on quite a few criminals. Two breaking and entering, three muggings, and then the bank robbers which had been a group of four. Nine wasn’t half bad for a night Peter had thought would be a boring one.

And, having Deadpool to tag along had been a lot more fun than Peter had thought.

Besides the way their personalities meshed almost perfectly, the ex-merc was pretty good at having good morals all on his own, it seemed. The man had taken the liberty to replace his bullets with non-lethal ones, and whenever he used his katanas it was always light maiming, never lethal or permanent. Peter was proud of him, even if he hadn’t had anything to do with the man’s change of tactic.

Deadpool must finish his food first, because he starts speaking and when Peter looks over at him on instinct, his mask is in place.

“So, this was fun.” Deadpool says slowly, as if he was unsure what to say.

“It was.” Peter agrees, finishing his hotdog and rolling his mask back down. “It’s getting pretty late though, and I have a real job that pays me actual money and it starts in about seven hours.” He stands up, tossing his trash over the side of the building. He doesn’t have to look to know it had landed in the dumpster they passed earlier.

Deadpool looks a bit dejected, but he recovers quickly as he stands up,

“See you tomorrow?” He sounded hopeful and it made Peter’s heart squeeze.

“Obviously, young padawan.” Peter says, smiling even if Deadpool wouldn’t be able to tell. “I’ll text you before I head out, okay?”

Deadpool brightens immediately, nodding enthusiastically,

“Swing safe, Spidey-babe.”

“I’ll make sure to swing cautiously just for you, ‘pool.”

“Seal it with a kiss?”

Peter chuckles, shooting out a web to the nearest building,

“See you tomorrow, Deadpool.” He dives off the roof, feeling the familiar rush as he swoops through the air.

“I hate to see you leave but I love to watch you go!” Deadpool shouts after him, followed by an obnoxious wolf-whistle.

Peter rolls his eyes, but he can’t find it in himself to be annoyed with the comment. That probably didn’t mean anything, right? Yeah, definitely not.

Chapter Text

The morning after Peter’s hangout with Deadpool, he’s woken up by his phone ringing instead of his alarm going off.

He groans and rolls onto his other side, reaching out blindly for the ringing device. He misses it a couple times before he finally gets his fingers wrapped around it.

As he props himself up on his elbow, he flips the phone over to read the caller ID, seeing it was one of his friends from work. He answers it and holds it up to his ear,

“Hello?” Peter greets, voice raspy from sleep. He rubs at his eyes as he tries to get himself to wake up more.

If he’d woken up early he might as well take it as an excuse to get some chores done around the house before he goes to work.

“Hello? Peter, where are you?” The panicked voice of Scott helps wake Peter up a bit more.

“My apartment..?” Peter says slowly, “Why?”

“You’re an hour late, Peter. Jameson is freaking out.”

Peter can feel his stomach drop, a heavy feeling settling in his limbs,

“W-What? How-” He looks to the digital clock on his nightstand and curses when he sees nothing but a blank screen. He shoves himself out of bed and kneels beside the nightstand to check where the alarm clock is usually plugged in. Then he groans, “Shit- my alarm got unplugged.”

“I told you to start using your phone for alarms like everyone else in the 21st century.” Scott supplies helpfully.

“Not helping, Scott.” Peter growls, but he mutters a quick thank you for waking him before hanging up the phone and starting to get ready in a whirlwind of motions.

He shoots out two webs, one grabbing a shirt and the other snatching up a pair of boxers before he turns and runs to the bathroom. He hopes they’re clean enough.

While changing, he puts on deodorant at the same time as he brushes his teeth, then splashes water on his face to try and wake himself up.

Peter’s only been late to work two times in the last three months and he’d been pretty proud of that. He couldn’t exactly blame Deadpool since the man didn’t know he had a job to get to early in the morning.

He'd gotten home pretty late last night since he hung around with the man after his patrol, they’d taken down quite a few criminals and they even got hotdogs after. It had been fun and a lot more enjoyable than Peter expected it to be.

From his research on Deadpool, he had seemed to be an emotionless killer who thrives on causing as much death and destruction as possible. He had also been deemed clinically insane by any psychologist he interacted with. And yet, Peter’s patrol with him last night had been one of the best patrols he’s had in a long time.

It was difficult, trying to sort out what was true and what wasn’t. He’s seen Deadpool be good, help people, but there’s plenty of evidence that the man’s past was true too. It was like Deadpool was a walking contradiction, the nicest man Peter’s ever met, but also one of the world’s most wanted criminals.

Peter groans and spits into the sink, wiping his mouth and taking a glance in the mirror at his hair. It looked like…a mess, as it always seems to. He runs his fingers through it to try and tame it before calling it a lost cause and leaving the bathroom.

The next room he entered like a man on a mission, which he was, is the kitchen, where he grabs a piece of bread and shoves it into his mouth, not even bothering with toasting it. He takes a few gulps from a jug of milk before grabbing a granola bar from the cupboard.

Peter hurries to the front door of his apartment, grabbing his wallet and keys, making sure he has his phone, and slinging his camera around his neck before he opens the door and slips out into the hall.

As he walks, he does another check that he had everything he needed. He was usually bound to forget something while getting ready to go somewhere, but he didn’t have time to turn back to grab anything today.

Peter goes past the elevator and pushes open the door to the stairs instead, going down them two at a time. He had gotten a lot more nimble since the bite, and his balance was impeccable, so skipping a stair or two wasn't that hard for him. In fact, when he gets to the last flight of stairs, he jumps over them all, landing on the ground floor and shoving the door open.

He hurries out into the lobby of his apartment building, flashing a smile at the receptionist, Tammy. She smiles back at him,

“Mr. Parker, good morning. Up later than usual?”

Peter usually stops to chat with her in the morning, but he didn’t have time for that today.

“Sorry, Tammy. Super late for work, see you tonight?” He hopes she can forgive him, maybe he’ll get her a coffee on his way home. With the exasperated but amused look she gives him before he ducks out of the building, Peter assumes it’ll be easy to get her forgiveness.

But, back to his current problem, keeping his boss from firing him.

If he takes the subway he'd be able to get there in fifteen minutes, if the wait was short enough. Peter turns towards the subway station, beginning to speed walk and weave through the crowd. It was just after 10:30, most people were either at work or school by now so the trains would be pretty empty. At least, Peter hopes they are.

Peter slides down the railing of the stairs leading down into the subway, hopping off the end of them and going to stand on the platform he needed. He glances at his phone, stomach twisting as he sees it's 10:45 now. That means he's almost two hours late to work. Jameson was so going to fire him.

The train pulling in lull Peter's nerves ever so slightly, and when the doors open he's the first to get into the train car. The doors remain open for a couple minutes, allowing people to board, then they finally start sliding shut.

Peter lets out a sigh of relief, leaning against the pole he'd chosen to hold onto. The train ride is always boring, so Peter takes his phone out and scrolls through Twitter to try and distract himself from wondering if he even still has a job.

During his scroll, he finds a new tweet from Deadpool. The man actually had quite the following on the app, which was a bit odd since he was a wanted criminal. But, Peter supposes, anyone can be funny and Deadpool definitely was.

The man’s most recent tweet was a bit cryptic and pretty short. It simply read, ‘met a hottie’ followed by an outrageous amount of emojis. Most of them were the tongue and water emojis, but there were a couple hearts and devil face emojis mixed in. It had been tweeted around the time last night when Peter had left Deadpool to go home.

Peter tries to keep his mind from wandering to the possibility that Deadpool was talking about him, well about Spider-Man. He tries very hard, but the idea still pops into his brain, bouncing around inside it for the rest of the train ride.

Peter steps off the trains and hurries up the stairs to the street. He weaves around people as he makes his way to the Daily Bugle.

He knows Deadpool flirts with him, but the ex-mercenary seems to do that with most people he meets. It couldn’t mean anything, could it?

On the other hand, Peter wasn’t sure if he wanted him to mean it or not. Deadpool was definitely fun to hang out with, and the two’s humor mixed together well, but that didn’t mean Peter necessarily wanted to date the man.

Peter shakes the train of thought from his mind as he finally steps up to the doors of the Daily Bugle. He tugs them open and hurries inside and to the stairs, once again taking them two at a time, just up this time.

He reaches the landing for the Daily Bugle and flinches as he immediately can hear Jameson’s muffled yelling coming from the offices. Peter hopes he hadn’t made everyone’s mornings hell due to his lateness.

Peter takes a deep breath before tugging open the door and stepping into the office space.

Almost as soon as he steps inside, everyone turns their heads to look at him, making his stomach twist nervously. Jameson stood at his office door, already red in the face from shouting. When his eyes land on Peter, he can’t help the chill that goes up his spine at the expression on his boss’s face. He’s surprised his spider-sense isn’t acting up.

“Parker!” Jameson barks, hands already on his hips, his usual shouting position. “Where in the hell have you been? Do you think you can just show up to work whenever you want? You have a commitment to this job and to me.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jameson.” Peter puts as much remorse in his voice as he could muster, which is quite a lot for someone who grew up guilting teachers into letting him get away with things. “My alarm clock got unplugged somehow and I-”

“I don’t want excuses, Parker. I want results.” Jameson says with a scoff. “There’s a meet and greet with Captain America in Central Park. Superheroes seem to like you, for whatever reason, so get me some good pictures and we’ll see if you have a job tomorrow, understood?”

Peter sighs miserably and nods,

“Yes, sir.”

He turns on his heel and leaves the room, not even having to open the door again as he hadn’t gotten a chance to close it behind him.

Getting photos of Captain America was always easy, the man often posed during meet and greets if you simply asked him to. Peter had actually taken photos of him before for an article the Daily Bugle published a couple months ago. Hopefully Steve was in a good mood today.

Peter snorts at his own thoughts as he leaves the office building, Steve always seemed to be in a good mood.

It didn't take Peter long to reach the park, it was pretty close to the Daily Bugle, in fact he often went to the park during his lunch breaks. He also found it rather easy to spot the meet and greet as there was a sea of people decked out in red, white, and blue crowding around a stage that had been set up.

Captain America stood on the stage, his smile bright and his costume as tight as ever. He was Peter’s bisexual awakening for a reason. The hero had his shield strapped to his back and no mask on as he had forgone the mask a couple years ago. Most people knew his identity anyway, like most of the Avengers, so it wasn't very necessary anymore.

Peter walks over to the crowd, taking a hold of the camera around his neck and holding it up to his face as he snaps some far away pictures first.

As he snaps pictures, he can’t help his mind once again wandering to Deadpool. The man had been consuming his thoughts ever since he asked Peter to do a photoshoot for him yesterday morning.

Deadpool was like an itch Peter couldn’t scratch. Peter wishes he could ignore him, but the man was haunting his very mind. Even Peter knew he was becoming a bit obsessive about the mutant, and he was usually oblivious to his own feelings about people until Gwen or his Aunt May pointed them out to him, platonic or otherwise.

He sighs and moves closer to the stage, continuing snapping pictures.

Peter knew Deadpool was probably bad news, the man’s lapses into good morals never seemed to last long and Peter would most likely get hurt in the end, maybe even killed. But even with that in his head, he couldn’t justify not at least trying to befriend and help the ex-merc. He knew Gwen thought he was an idiot for his plan, reforming Deadpool would take a lot more than quoting his Uncle Ben and eating hotdogs.

The photographer moves again, this time climbing up to stand on a bench to get some eye-level shots of the hero with minimal crowd in the shots.

“Woah- creeper alert!” A sudden, and familiar, voice startles Peter into dropping his camera. Thankfully, he had the strap around his neck so it simply dangles against his chest.

Peter looks down towards the voice, eyes widening when he sees Deadpool crouched behind the bench he was standing on. He scrambles off of it, standing in front of the mutant to try and block him at least slightly from Captain America’s view. If the hero saw the ex-merc he might try to arrest him, and Peter wouldn’t be able to do anything but watch.

“Deadpool.” Peter hisses, eyes darting to look at Captain America before settling back on the man in front of him. “What are you doing here? If he sees you he’ll turn you over to S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Deadpool brushes off his concern with a wiggle of his fingers,

“Pssh- Ol’ Patriot would have to catch me first, Petey-pie.” His mask creases at the corners, meaning the man was grinning. “I’m a huge fan, I couldn’t not skip on the chance to see him in person, even if it’s from a distance behind this bench that smells vaguely like piss. So…you here on duty, Mr. Photographer?”

“I am.” Peter says, not bothering to argue with the mutant as he knew he would never convince him to leave if the man didn’t want to. “I was late to work and my boss decided I should be the one to come out here and take pictures of the meet and greet.”

Deadpool gasps,

“You can be late? Such a bad boy, Petey, I never expected this from you. My star pupil!”

“For the last time, we are not Jedi Master and Padawan.” Peter says, folding his arms across his chest and narrowing his eyes at the mutant. “You haven’t completed any trials to become a Jedi and you know it.”

“I totally could though. I know a guy who makes real lightsabers.” Deadpool counters, resting his arms on the back of the bench. Peter could tell he was staring directly at him, he could practically feel the man’s eyes. He might be able to tell the difference between Deadpool’s gaze and any other person’s on the planet.

Peter blushes bright pink at the thought and shakes it away, turning around to face Captain America again and raising his camera in front of his face to hopefully hide his blush. Only then does he respond to Deadpool.

“Just because you have a lightsaber doesn’t mean you could complete the trials.” He says, as he starts taking pictures, mediocre ones as he wasn’t exactly focusing on his work anymore. He’d gotten enough good photos to keep Jameson from firing him, he might as well prolong this assignment and talk with Deadpool. “They’re literally one of the hardest things in the galaxy to complete.”

“I’ll show you the hardest thing in the galaxy.” Deadpool purrs, suddenly right behind Peter, his lips beside his ear. Well- where his lips would be without a mask covering them.

Peter yelps, startling and jumping away from the man. His camera swings wildly and ends up thumping harshly against his chest at his sudden movement.

Deadpool is still sitting on the bench, somehow looking pleased with himself and amused by Peter’s reaction while fully masked. Peter doesn’t know how he manages it.

“Jumpy, Petey-pie?” He giggles, standing up on the bench and throwing his arms out on either side of him as if he was balancing on a tightrope. “I’m not gonna hurt ya, baby boy.”

“Says the man with confirmed kills in the thousands.” Peter rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

“That was the old me, baby!” Deadpool insists, grinning behind his mask. Peter hates that he can tell the man’s expressions so easily already. “I’m a hundred percent clean, through and through. Except for the massive amount of drugs that I do. But it’s mostly weed now, I swear on my crown jewels!”

Peter sighs, not answering the man as he turns to snap a few more pictures of the hero up on the stage. Although it had been nice being away from Jameson when he was clearly upset with him, Peter couldn’t push the little field trip much longer without further upsetting his boss.

“Aww, c’mon, Petey~” Deadpool whines at being ignored. Peter can hear his boots hit the ground as he jumps off the bench, but he still doesn’t say anything. “Okay okay- I saw you while I was creepin on America’s ass and I wanted to talk to you about the photoshoot. I got an idea for it.”

That catches Peter’s attention, he turns around to look at the mutant, doing his best not to startle when he sees Deadpool is only a foot or so behind him. How did he always manage to get so close without Peter sensing it? It was something only the ex-merc seemed to be able to accomplish.

“What was your idea, then?” Peter asks, checking his phone for the time. “Make it quick, I have to be back at the office soon so my boss doesn’t throw me out the window.”

Deadpool claps with glee and launches into a long and in depth explanation about his idea for his ad. It took the man a while to tell Peter his idea, not because it was elaborate or complicated, but because the man kept getting sidetracked and going on completely unrelated tangents.

But, a whopping fifteen minutes later, peter finally interrupted the man,

“Okay so- you want to rent a zebra, put a unicorn horn on it, and sit on it while listing all the things you're doing to become a better person? Is that it?”

“And I want to wear those white angel wings like a Victoria’s Secret model.”

“Right right, how could I forget?” Peter catches his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing on it as he thinks. “As long as you pay for and gather all of the props, I don’t see why any of that wouldn’t be possible. Is that all you wanted?”

Deadpool cheers, catching the attention of some of the people listening to Captain America’s closing speech for the meet and greet. Whispers broke out and very quickly people began running away and shouting about how Deadpool was here.

“Aw fudgesicle.” Deadpool mumbles, watching the people flee.

Peter looks at the hero on stage, frowning when he saw that the man was now looking directly at Deadpool and him.

“You should go.” Peter says to Deadpool, the words coming out in a rush. “Meet me when I get off work and we can talk about the details. I can’t do a photoshoot of you if you’re in a S.H.I.E.L.D. prison.”

The ex-merc lets out a huff, but upon seeing Captain America making his way towards them both he sighs. He wiggles his fingers at Peter and chirps,

“See ya later, Petey-Pie!” Before turning and sprinting away from both the crowd and the quickly approaching hero.

Peter watches the man go for a moment before making a quick getaway himself, he didn’t need the Avengers taking interest in him because they thought he was linked to Deadpool in some way. Even if that was true.

When Peter makes it back to the Daily Bugle, the journal room is buzzing with excitement and chatter. Scott spots him and immediately hurries over.

“Hey, what's all the excitement about?” Peter asks as he walks up.

“Deadpool was spotted at the Captain America meet and greet you went to!” Scott exclaims. “Jameson said anyone who can get a picture of Deadpool gets a $300 bonus!”

Peter’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline,

“Three hundred? Holy shit, I could buy a new lens with that kind of extra cash.”

Scott nods, eyes a lit up with his glee,

“You’re so good at getting pictures of heroes I’m sure Deadpool won’t be any harder.” He pats him on the shoulder lightly, “Good luck, okay? I’m gonna go do some research on the guy.”

Peter gives a quick goodbye before hurrying over to his desk and setting his things down. He takes out his spider-phone and sends a text to Deadpool.

Spider-Man: Hey, I heard from Peter his boss is offering $300 to anyone who can get a photo of you, he wanted to know if he could take some of you for it? If not that’s totally cool

He waits a minute or two and, with no response from the man, begins to panic. Was it rude to ask to take pictures of someone for money? Maybe he could offer to split it with him.

Spider-Man: Sorry if that sounded rude, he said he can split the money with you

Another ten seconds of no response and he types out another text without thinking.

Spider-Man: It’s okay if you don’t want to! Completely understandable

Another agonizing five seconds goes by, and Peter is just about to type out another message when Deadpool finally responds.

HotFella69: woah slow ur roll spidey-babe

HotFella69: i’d be happy 2 pose 4 some pics for peter

Hotfella69: no need to pay me

Peter lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and straightens up in his seat, typing out a reply.

Spider-Man: Cool, I’ll let Peter know. Can I give him your number so you guys can talk about it?

It was a bit of a tricky way to discreetly get Deadpool’s number on his actual phone without raising suspicion, but Peter thinks it was a solid enough excuse.

HotFella69: of course!!! i meant 2 ask him 4 his digits today actually

Spider-Man: Great I’ll give it to him. See you tonight for patrol?

HotFella69: hells yea bby boy!!! i’m thinking chimichangas after???

Peter debates on adding a heart to his next message but decides against it, it would be easier to flirt with the man in person so he could gauge his reaction. Flirting through text left him with too much to speculate and worry about.

Spider-Man: Sounds like a plan, pool

With that, he clicks off his spider-phone and slips it into the secret pocket in his bag before pulling out his real phone and adding Deadpool as a contact. He doesn’t text him right away, instead focusing on editing his photos and doing work. He was at his job after all and he had upset Jameson enough for one day.

The rest of his work day seems to drag on forever, his thoughts seemed to constantly lead back to Deadpool in some way and it was seriously affecting his work ethic. Peter was so ready to leave that as soon as the clock on the wall hit 5 he was practically running out of the office and, for the second time that day, he ignored the elevator and sprinted down the stairs instead.

As soon as he’s on the street he pulls out his phone to text Deadpool. But he doesn’t get the chance to type more than a hello before he’s interrupted.

“Hey, kid!”

Peter turns to look towards the voice and tries his best to keep his expression neutral when he sees it’s Captain fucking America who was talking, and he was looking directly at Peter. This couldn’t be good, he definitely saw him talking to Deadpool at the meet and greet and now he was going to be arrested. How would he get out of this? S.H.I.E.L.D was widely known for having the highest security prisons in the world.

“Um- yes? Are you talking to me?” Peter asks, hoping and praying the hero wasn’t.

But, since the universe hates him, Captain America smiles and nods, stopping in front of Peter.

“I am. I was just wondering if you wanted to have a quick talk? I have some questions for you.” Peter must’ve looked more scared than he thought cause the hero quickly followed up with, “You aren’t in trouble or anything, kid. I just wanna talk.”

Peter debates his options, he could take off running and hope he got out of sight of Captain America before the hero caught up with him. He was pretty quick, and with the crowd it would make it hard for Captain America to follow him closely. But if he ran the hero would just become even more suspicious of him and so would the Avengers.

Peter sighs and nods,

“Sure. We can talk. What about?”

The hero smiles, a warm smile that Peter was certain he was only doing since he could tell Peter was so nervous,

“I saw you at the meet and greet this morning talking to Deadpool. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t bothering you.”

“Oh.” Peter hadn’t expected the hero to assume Deadpool was annoying him. But, he supposes, with the man’s reputation it wasn’t that surprising. “No, he wasn’t bothering me. We were just talking.”

That seemed to surprise the hero, his eyebrows lifting,

“Really?” He flounders for something else to say, obviously not expecting Peter to not be bothered by the ex-merc’s presence. “Well- if he ever does bother you, give the police a call and they'll let us know. Then we’ll take care of it, okay?” The hero gives his winning smile, which would comfort Peter if the man wasn't talking about kidnapping his newest friend. “We're trying to catch him since he's been hanging around New York longer than he usually does. We don't want him to cause any trouble.”

Peter nods, smiling a bit awkwardly,

“Uh sure thing, Captain America sir. Thank you for checking.” He gave a small smile as a way of saying goodbye before turning and walking away from the hero at what he hoped was a normal speed.

As soon as Peter turns the corner of the block he breaks into a sprint, phone still clutched in his hand as he sped for his apartment. He has to tell Deadpool about this.